《Lickin' Bad》 Chapter 1 ¡°What¡¯s the hold up?¡± Blinking, I stared at the masked man in front of me. Dressed as a robber would - fitted in a conspicuous yet featureless black outfit - the man nudged his head toward the locked door ahead, and it was then I realized what I had in hold. A crowbar was grasped with gloved hands, my hands, so I couldn¡¯t help but gulp as I understood the task in spite of the confusion. ¡°Gettin¡¯ cold feet now, Lick? C¡¯mon, just one flimsy door, and the gig would be already over.¡± Cold sweat ran down my back, the black shirt no doubt damp from my shivering despite the warmth of the air. A screen of purple blocked my vision, freezing me just as I took a step forward, but also seemingly freezing the air around me. [Welcome, Gracious Host, to the Villainous System] ¡®What?¡¯ [To live a life of villainy and debauchery, to enjoy a world without rules or laws, you need strength, and some thinking outside the box] ¡®Wait, wait wait. Villainous System?¡¯ [The Villainous System has been designed to assist you with your endeavors, allowing you to enjoy privileges only dreamt of by many, but not for free] I would have started shivering again at reading those words, but not out of confusion this time. It all began to make sense- [To become the ultimate Villain, you have to kill, steal, and conquer] ¡®Yes, yes, yes!¡¯ [Quest: Rob the cache Objectives: Rewards: Unlocking of the Villainous System¡¯s Features Upon failure of this Quest, any opportunity to use the Villainous System would be locked] ¡®No, no, no!¡¯ [Good Luck] And that was the last window offered to me before time resumed. Under the urging eyes of my companions (at least, I assumed they were), I hastily rushed to the door before staring at it, trying to figure out where to place my crowbar. Logic dictated that I lever it to break open the door, but I had no idea where to place it, or how even to. When I stood for a few seconds just rotating my crowbar while trying to understand what to do, one of my companions, of whom there were three, just stole the thing from my grasp, a frustrated ¡°Gimme that!¡± escaping him as he shoved me away. I noticed the glares he and another one had given me, but the first man who called me ¡®Lick¡¯ instead looked at me in worry. I hurriedly waved him off and, after a minute of finagling, the door burst open, and we all rushed inside while bumping into each other. ¡°Reminder,¡± one of them spoke, who I¡¯d dubbed Companion A, ¡°We¡¯re here because we got a scoop that this place is a Red Ice stash that was left unguarded due to the current war, as you know.¡± Since I totally knew what he was on about, I nodded, so he continued, ¡°We¡¯re going to pick up as much as we could grab, and bolt outta here. Drugs, guns, whatever you could get your hands on, just stash it into the bag and we¡¯ll be golden.¡± It was then I noticed that I had a duffle bag on my back, but he was already moving ahead along with companions B and C. Rubbing my wooly hands, I hastened toward them until we were faced with yet another door, but they were glaring at it instead of acting. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± I heard a new voice only to realize it was mine, or Lick¡¯s. ¡°There¡¯s someone inside,¡± C pointed at the floor, and I could see the light peeking under the door. ¡°Shit?¡± ¡°Yeah, shit. Alright, y¡¯all got your weapons ready?¡± B inspected each of us while I fumbled with my pockets, thankfully finding a switchblade. Not that I knew how to use it, but they didn¡¯t need to know that. Putting his ear on the door, C closed his eyes for around 20 seconds, then he nodded at us. When he glanced at me, he clicked his tongue and elaborated, ¡°I estimate no more than two inside there, so we will storm in and kill them if they so much as twitch wrong, you get me?¡± I gave him a thumbs up, thankful for the info. It seemed like Lick was new to the business, so it was quite considerate of them to give me the info. ¡°On the count of three,¡± A grasped the handle and began counting. One, B tightened his hold on the crowbar. Two, C brandished a dagger of his own. Three, light flooded my eyes as we rushed in, the occupants of the room screaming. Before I could act, my fellow thieves began yelling and beating down the guys that were chilling about, the stench of smoke making me cough but the room was cleared by the time I blinked. ¡°Red Ice will-¡± One of the goons was immediately silenced when B slammed his foot to his side, ¡°Shut it. Get movin¡¯.¡± ¡®Professionals. Wow.¡¯ We all separated and began tossing whatever was apparently valuable into our bags, and I couldn¡¯t help but notice something in the corner of the room. It was a weird, seemingly inconspicuous carpet that was incredibly alarming for the context. ¡°Guys? You might wanna look at this.¡± Companion A stepped over while I dragged the carpet away, whistling as we came face first with a hatch. An actual hatch! ¡°Thought it a bit weird that they just left the valuables out here. The real goodies, though..¡± I could imagine him licking his lips under his mask, but I was too focused on the prize beneath my shoes. With a loud screech, I lifted the thing up, my muscles straining, while A pushed it the remainder of the way. He whistled as the stairway came to light while I hollered at the other two to hurry up. They gave me scathing glances until the new entrance entered their sight. They abandoned whatever non-valuable valuables they were looting and marched over with greed in their eyes. ¡°That what I think it is?¡± ¡°Only way to find out,¡± I gripped my switchblade comfortably before attempting to step down, but B squeezed himself in front of me, daring me with his eyes to even mutter a complaint. I didn¡¯t, I was too focused on the potential of the loot down there. ¡°Someone has to keep his eyes on the outside. Lick?¡± ¡®What?¡¯ ¡°The hell? I want to go down there too!¡± ¡°Who knows, you might break something or trip a wire.¡± ¡°Cut him some slack, he needs the experience,¡± Companion A stepped up. My hero! Clicking his tongue, B motioned to C, and the man wordlessly stepped away and began checking over the knocked over thugs. Was he trying to make sure they were securely tied up? The echoes of the stairs broke me out of my stupor, so I quickly followed after the two. One of them had to pull out a flashlight to combat the darkness, but when I took the final step, my mouth gaped in awe. ¡°Jackpot...¡± ¡°Priority: jewels, drugs, guns, money. If you find something not in this list, ask me first,¡± Companion A spoke while B began taking care of the locked crates and cabinets. As for me, I had my eyes on something that was glowing. And I mean actually glowing, though I don¡¯t think the other two noticed. It was an apparently innocent suitcase that I opened without hesitation, the glow fading and my vision blocked by a new purple screen. [Congratulations, you found a Highly Valuable Item (HVI). Highly Valuable Items are unique and give unique bonuses to the user upon successful acquisition. Selling or losing the item at a later date does not remove its bonus] At that, I gulped. When the panel faded away, all I was left with was a cube with neon-like inscriptions on it. No extra information was provided, but when I picked it up, I realized what the issue was. [Villainous System features are locked until the completion of the Quest] Sighing, I just planned on pocketing the cube, but the suitcase itself felt pretty posh. Grinning, I put the cube in my dufflebag and decided to fill the suitcase with whatever pretty things I could get my hands on, including a whole bunch of gems and some random looking paper files that I thought might come in handy at a later point. ¡°Good catch,¡± Companion B commented on the papers. ¡°If it has good info, it might lead us to some more hideouts, or we can sell it for a pretty penny to the next competitor.¡±If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°T-thanks. You done?¡± He tilted his dufflebag, showing the way it nearly burst from how much it was stuffed. I could see the glee and pride in his eyes. Our minds echoed together : ¡®We¡¯re makin¡¯ bank!¡¯ ¡°Leg it, we¡¯re done!¡± With a pep in my step, I followed the two up the stairs once more until B suddenly stopped at the top, and that made A take a step back. ¡°Company,¡± A whispered. ¡°Why, hello there. Had your fill digging through our stuff?¡± a new voice spoke with confidence. Grimacing, I placed the duffle bag on a step and prepared my weapon, something that A noticed and made him nod in return, though he didn¡¯t copy me. Instead, he pulled out a whole ass gun from his back pocket. B, on the other hand, was still covering the top of the hatch, so for all they knew, only B was there, but that made me realize that C was probably dead. On one hand, shit. On the other, I didn¡¯t like the looks he gave me anyway. ¡°Yeah, real juicy stuff. Now why don¡¯t you shove it?¡± The stranger chuckled, then footsteps came closer. From where I stood, I was able to see B holding three fingers down. Then B jumped forward, eliciting a curse from the stranger and two others. B had tackled someone to the ground while A was in a dance with one of the three. As soon as I was spotted, a shiny bat swung toward my face, the third thug making it his task to take me down. With glee, I ducked below the attack and stabbed my dagger forward, embedding it into his stomach. Rather than backpedal, the thug kicked me directly in the face, and it was then he actually backpedalled. While he was clutching his stomach, the bat dropped from his hand. ¡°Amateur!¡± I laughed, ignoring the pain in my face before slipping the weapon into my hand and, instead of aiming at the head like he did, going straight for the legs. His eyes widened as the bat struck with a loud smack, but I wasn¡¯t going to let up. With one leg down, and hands occupied - one on his stomach while the other unconsciously dragging itself over to his leg - an overhead came and landed decisively on his skull, dropping him in an instant. Huffing while tightening my grip on the bat, I glanced at the other fights while gasping. A was getting wailed on, a gun two meters away from them. I quickly debated grabbing it and trying to shoot, but the bat.. It felt pretty good. Roaring, I sprinted at the thug beating my companion and baseball swung at his head, sending him tumbling off A. Rather than checking up on my friend(?), I hopped over him and began wailing on the thug, only stopping when I felt a hand on my shoulder. ¡°Stop, Lick, he¡¯s dead.¡± Blood slipped down the bat, an ecstacy unlike any filling me. When I comprehended the scene, I couldn¡¯t help but smile under the mask. The thug¡¯s arms were bloodied, but they were nothing like his mangled face. I wanted to do more, but, looking at A, I abandoned that thought for the original goal. Money. B was dusting himself off, the crowbar embedded within his opponent¡¯s skull. ¡°Damn, you¡¯re brutal,¡± I whistled. ¡°So are you. Let¡¯s get out of here. Also, grab his body,¡± he pointed at C, and I nodded. With all our loot and C in hand, we ran outside to our escape vehicle, a van. ¡°Gg, EZ¡± ¡°The fuck are you talking about?¡± I just shook my head. Not my fault they don¡¯t know about video games. --- I used to be someone else. A working man in a normal office, doing menial tasks and handling whatever usual difficulties life threw at me. It was boring, unfulfilling, and most definitely safe, but it got me living comfortably. Then I blink, and I¡¯m Lick. Why he, or now I, and how it all came to be in the first place - those questions only crossed my mind once. One single time, and that was only before the Villainous System introduced itself. ¡®I love that thing.¡¯ [Quest Complete! Objectives: ¡®Yes, I¡¯m great, I know.¡¯ [Congratulations, the Villainous System is now unlocked for use! Current system realm: 1] ¡®Hehehehe.¡¯ ¡°Man, stop giggling like a sissy and help move the stuff. Your payday counts on it,¡± B, or rather Bango spoke. Who knew his name aligned with the one I gave him? Submerged memories from Lick, perhaps? ¡°I¡¯ll have you know I¡¯m not giggling like a ¡®sissy,¡¯ now I wanna know how you¡¯ll deal with our guy here,¡± I pointed at the corpse of C. Wouldn¡¯t wish to be him. ¡°Other than giving him a decent burial, I got contacts to help hide the details. Don¡¯t want anyone, especially his family, to make a connection between the gig and his death.¡± ¡°Interesting..¡± I wasn¡¯t a criminal in my past life, and never attempted anything close. Abiding by the law, however, didn¡¯t stop me from immersing myself in the world that was documentaries and books. Imagine if I could make my own heists, or have my own evil empire of doom. ¡®Hehehe¡­¡¯ ¡°Stop laughing, you dickhead!¡± ¡°Piss off! Hahaha!¡± Bango grumbled while A, Alphonso, silently sorted the items along with the suitcase I had acquired. Even if I was an up and coming villain, he actually tried to take care of me in the job, and I appreciated that. ¡°Yo!¡± I tapped him on the shoulder, and he gave me a side glance. ¡°You did better than I expected, you know,¡± he said, as if it wasn¡¯t the 5th time he did since entering the van. ¡°Yup, when¡¯s the next one?¡± At that, he blinked, then shook his head. ¡°You know, I faintly remember you mentioning that you only wanted to do this just once since, ya¡¯know, you didn¡¯t want to die and just needed a quick buck.¡± Probably Lick told him that before I shamelessly (and against my will) took over. Well, now that I¡¯m the new Lick, let¡¯s just say.. ¡°I take it back, I had a lot of fun.¡± ¡°Riiiiiight,¡± he shrugged, then resumed sorting. ¡°We won¡¯t be doing anything till we can sell the stuff, and finding buyers for this stuff is my specialty. Usually I don¡¯t join in on hits like this, but I couldn¡¯t trust you to run this on your own.¡± ¡°Hey! I did great!¡± ¡°Doesn¡¯t change the fact that this was your first run.¡± I huffed, ¡°Whatever, teach me what you¡¯re doing.¡± ¡°Aight, so..¡± As he began instructing, new prompts began popping up, the first of which I did manually (hooray). [Character Information Name: Limbo Jimbo - Current nickname : Lick Age: 26 Rank: No-bit thug Attributes: (5 Points Available) Brawn: 12 - Brains: 6 - Spirit: 0 Bling : 0 (1000 Pending from recent jobs)] ¡®I¡¯m smarter than 6 Brains, what the hell!¡¯ Regardless, I had asked the System for a rundown, and it gave me a tutorial. It was frankly sleep inducing (maybe I¡¯ll use that to lull me to sleep later), but the gist of it was that it was quite versatile, and seeing the options made me fall in love. Other than the ¡°Character Information,¡± I also had ¡°Shop,¡± ¡°Options,¡± and ¡°Inventory,¡± though the last option was locked behind a shop upgrade. What interested me most was what the shop offered, and oh did it offer. [Shop: Categories: Evil Attributes - Dastardly Elixirs - WMDs - Superpowers - Unhelpful Misc. Items] Ignoring the adjectives, the tabs were pretty self explanatory. The ¡°Evil Attributes¡± tab, which I¡¯ll shorten to simply ¡°Attributes,¡± offered to give me more attribute points at the cost of.. ¡°Bling.¡± For the life of me, I, Limbo Jimbo, better known as Lick, the super villain in the making, had my money referred to as Bling. How!? Why!? Even while grumbling about it, I scanned through my options, and grumbled even more as I had to wait for my money to roll in once the items were sold. [Shop: Evil Attributes:- 1 Brawn : 500 Bling 1 Brain : 750 Bling 1 Spirit : 2000 Bling 10 Brawn: 5000 Bling 10 Brains..] Rinse and repeat for multiples of 10. In the tutorial, the System graced me with info on what each attribute actually means, and the general intent is that Brawn covers everything that my body can do. Whether it be strength, durability, speed and reflexes - all of those were governed by one attribute, and if compared to any of the random RPGs I knew about, then this made its cost way more worth. Just imagine if I had to pay 500 Money (I¡¯m not calling it Bling) for Strength, then another 500 for Durability. ¡®This is value, I tell you!¡¯ Brains governs the whole smarts and computational speed aspect. While it won¡¯t grant me immediate knowledge of whatever, it will slowly but surely (according to the tutorial) allow me to grind to become a genius. ¡®And I can at least give it the benefit of the doubt, because if it can make me understand maths after I put some points into it, then it sure as heck is overpowered.¡¯ Then comes Spirit, the one attribute I got none of. Basically, it dictates how strong my superpowers can be, along with the added benefit of simply making me more in touch with the mystical side of things. So not only would it directly improve my powers, it would also open up options for me to get said powers without the System. ¡®Ain¡¯t that amazing?¡¯ ¡°Hahaha!¡± - ¡°Shut uppppp!!!¡± See, I¡¯m not dumb, regardless of what the System is saying. In fact, look at this! My Brains is at 11! Then it hit me. ¡®Holy shit, why can I feel the rusty cogs in my brain getting greased? What the fuck!?¡¯ Nothing outwardly changed other than the fact that I felt my thoughts moving twice as fast, which should technically be true since I nearly doubled my previous Brains. Wait, since when did I think like that? I shivered for a moment, and quickly decided to ignore it. ¡®Yup, I was always this smart. Yep yep.¡¯ [Shop: Dastardly Elixirs: Elixir of Evil Healing (Minor) : 1500 Bling Elixir of Tasty Poison (Minor) : 1250 Bling Serum of Evil (Minor) : 2000 Bling] These were options among many. The shop cost went as high as 1 million money before I gave up on scrolling. There were too many things to even cover, like the heck is ¡®Tasty Poison¡¯? Candy? Is the shop selling diabetes for 1250 Money!? Not that I could tell by now. Or later. Lowest cost is still more than the amount of money I will be getting, so that¡¯s a bust. I was so hyped for the WMDs though. WMDs! [Shop: WMDs: Perfect Evil Sword Stick : 500 Bling Evil Socks (Minor) : 750 Bling Rad Underwear (Minor) : 1000 Bling ¡­ Super Villainous Nanite Armor : 200,000 Bling Grenade Launcher of Doom : 250,000 Bling ¡­ BFG : 500,000 Bling] I fell on my knees, repeatedly slamming my fists on the ground. ¡°WHYYYYYY!¡± ¡°Are you.. Is he ok?¡± ¡°..Just ignore him, probably the nerves from the first job.¡± What do you mean a stick is worth 500 Money? Socks for 750? I¡¯m being fleeced, I tell you! After a minute of wallowing, I didn¡¯t even have the heart to check the rest of the tabs. Most likely, the superpowers one would just give me the ability to roll my tongue for 2000 Money or something. Sighing, I glanced back at the now organized table before finding the cube I had pocketed before. It was glowing in a purple-haze just like the System¡¯s panels, so I held it for a second until a new screen popped up. [Highly Valuable Item registered : Weak Alien Supercomputer (Weak) Bonus issued: 10 Attribute Points Current Villainous System Realm progress: 2%] ¡°H-hey, Alph, you looked at this?¡± ¡°Yeah, I put it in the junk pile. No clue why you brought this, but metal scrap is metal scrap.¡± I chuckled nervously, ¡°About that..¡± He blinked as I began explaining to him, and when he asked how I knew that it was an alien supercomputer, I put a finger on my lips and shushed him. ¡°Look, if you know someone who might buy alien artifacts, and a supercomputer at that, then hit them up. If not, I¡¯ll keep it.¡± He sighed, ¡°You know, this item might sell for big bucks if you¡¯re right. Let me keep it for a bit, I know someone who might be interested.¡± I grinned and, after some questions on my part and some very innocent ones like ¡°where do I live?¡± I took a taxi and went back home. Thankfully, our group was smart enough where our own valuables were kept in the hideout where we sorted the loot, and A alerted me about them before I stepped out. I couldn¡¯t help but cringe as I enjoyed the absolutely amazing taste of old Lick. He had a damned cartoon character on his phone cover. It wasn¡¯t even cool or anything, it was just some girl shyly preventing her skirt from flying off. What even was this guy doing with his life? Don¡¯t worry though, Lick. I¡¯ll take good care of your body. First, though.. Why was my house a rundown pile of crap? Chapter 2 In hindsight, the fact that I became a criminal shouldn¡¯t have been a surprise to anyone in my life. When all I¡¯m living in is a studio with barebone essentials and walls made of cardboard, something had to give¡ªwhether that was my morals or the wall, clearly one won over the other. ¡°But,¡± I couldn¡¯t help but hop to my bed, ignoring the noise coming from next door. ¡°Who cares?¡± Lick had something good ol¡¯ me didn¡¯t, and that was an in. Past life was as stale as it was safe, so I was ever so grateful for the chance to do what I want - kill, steal, and have fun! Oh, the rush as my switchblade dug into the thug, and his bones crunching with the swing of my bat, ¡°I love it.¡± I loved it so much that I was way too eager to do it again. Would A be willing to do a new job so soon? ¡°..Maybe not,¡± the cogs spoke. I moved onto the couch with a grin and turned on the TV to watch some garbage. There was some uneaten pizza on the table in front of me, but I blanched at that. I was definitely not eating however many days old food - I gotta live like the rich man I am! Not that my wallet would agree, the poor thing having at most 20 bucks. Does this world sell pizza for less than 20 bucks plus tips? I doubt it. Maybe it would have been smart if I asked A for some pre-sale cash. Sure as hell would have beat being so damn hungry. ¡°Hey System, anything I can do in the meantime? Ya¡¯know, quests, guides, anything of the sort?¡± [Gracious Host, you have 10 unassigned attribute points. Would you like to assign them now?] Oh right. How should I assign them, though? Once I¡¯m able to go on big heists, I¡¯d have no problems with gaining them, but what do I currently need? Brains were most definitely at the top of the food chain at the moment, and after two cog cycles, I realized that, maybe, just maybe, if I was smart enough, I could learn programming and do Work From Home type of heists. Imagine! Or I could spec into Brawns. If I ever get into fights, I sure as hell would like to be able to beat their asses before they do mine. I can¡¯t help but wonder if I could grow so strong I could just storm a bank just in my underwear and rip a vault off its hinges. That would be so cool.. Spirits was just as useless as its number at the moment. Sadly, I, the great Limbo Jimbo, was a poor man with no powers to his name. That would change soon, but until then, it would stay at 0. ¡°I¡¯ll just give half to Brawns and half to Brains. Who cares!¡± Simple as. Satisfied, I felt my body vibrate for a few seconds, the changes taking place most assuredly making me stronger. My mind was already less foggy than my past life, and I wasn¡¯t that bad! Really! In any case, once the show was over (I had absolutely no idea what it was about, but it was funny), I got up and began exploring this apartment in earnest. It was shoddy and worth nothing more than the pennies in my pocket, sure, but there must have been something poor Lick was holding that had some form of value, no? After scouring the place, all I came out with were two overused magazines of the not quite safe for work variety. Man had his priorities in the negative, or maybe his life was so shit that he couldn¡¯t help but get those, and had no more money to get even more. Don¡¯t need them anymore, though. No time for women when I got time to flex these muscles. The ones in my forearms and the new ones in the bowels of my skull. Finally, I got the greatest idea of the night, and couldn¡¯t help but vibrate in place as the phone was ringing. Thirty seconds later, a tired voice came up, Alphonso grunting, clearly annoyed. ¡°What do you want? It''s, like, three AM for goodness sake!¡± ¡°You mean for Evilness sake, right?¡± ¡°..I don¡¯t even have the energy to cope with this shit. Whaddya need? Some cash to buy yourself a pizza or sum¡¯in?¡± ¡°N-no..¡± ¡°...¡± ¡°Man, look. I have energy and I¡¯d like to do some more work. I think I might be up for this.¡± ¡°Yes, Limbo. Yes you might. Now go the hell back to bed and I¡¯ll call you next afternoon when the cash¡¯s ready. Good fucking night, and don¡¯t wake me up again.¡± That was a bust. ¡°Boo..¡± I don¡¯t even have a laptop nor is my phone anything more than a calling platform. What was I supposed to do now!? --- Turns out, I could do a lot of things. Like doing some fun exercise, or lifting furniture around like a crazy guy trying to rearrange his home out of sheer madness, but I did not fit that criteria, I can tell you that much. See, after following my old life¡¯s exercise routine, I saw a Brawn go up. I balked at that, and outright spat the water I was drinking while checking the screen. That was disgusting, but what was also disgusting was the fact that ¡°I can increase my attributes just by being a functional human being, what the fuck?¡± What was this dumbass doing all his life to have 12 Brawn only when I raised 17 from 18 in the span of an hour of just tiring myself out randomly. Oh System, great System, tell me about my attributes. Pretty please? [The Villainous System allows the Gracious Host to become stronger through various means.] [The options available are: Training - Purchasing - Completing missions/heists] That was already established. Get to the good part! [Training functions as a way for the Gracious Host to get used to any new changes, and as a way to increase the attributes related to the exercise. At the current realm of the Villainous System, Brawn and Brains are the only available attributes to train, and their progress is as follows: Brawn: 85/100, Current training efficiency 20/100 progress/hour. Warning: Current training efficiency is too low for the time invested. Please consider a better method. Brains: 95/100, Current training efficiency 5/100 progress/hour. Warning: Current training efficiency is too low for the time invested. Please consider a better method. Spirit: Na/Na] ¡°Huh. I wonder if Limbo had a gym membership or something. Where did I put that wallet..¡± He, in fact, did not. Cheap bastard. Thankfully, I still have the furniture to run around with. Not sure what I could do for Brains, though. Maybe when I get a laptop or access to some books or something.. [Brains 16 -> 17] I don¡¯t even want to know if 17 Brains was comparable to the average person if just thinking counted as an exercise. Speaking of which, what counted as exercise for Brains, then? Brawn was obvious - physical exercise and conditioning - but what of the former? [The Brains attribute is improved by the following methods: Gaining knowledge - Making educated conclusions - Participating in mental battles and exercising the mind to its limits] Once I had gotten all the knowledge I needed, I grabbed my wallet after a cold shower (there was no heating in this building, obviously), and went out to grab something to eat. It was still just 11 AM, which wasn¡¯t exactly prime time for villainy and calling A for a progress update, but he only just said afternoon. 12:01 PM works, right? ¡°Yes, it definitely will.¡± ¡°Um, sir, will you be paying in cash or-¡± ¡°Here, and keep the change.¡± The total was 19.99. ¡°.. Thank you for your generosity?¡± ¡°You¡¯re welcome.¡± I grinned. --- As if knowing what I was about to do, the phone rang on its own - Alphonso was calling at 12:02 PM. The reason I wasn¡¯t the one initiating the call was that I was training my muscles, and, while I had a very beautiful 19 Brawns to my name, it was still at a horrible efficiency of 40/100 progress. ¡°Lick, 209 Alcove St.¡± That was all he had to say before I bolted out of the studio. My hands twitched as I made to call for a cab, but then I quickly realized I simply had nothing in my wallet. If Lick was poor, then I was literally penniless. With a tired sigh, I began my walk of shame, and the Villainous System must have pitied me as it responded to my distress with a bone.Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site. [Gracious Host, the Map/Minimap function is inactive. Would you like to activate it?] Immediately, I turned it on and was given directions by the great powers of the System. ¡°Thanks Vil!¡± What I wasn¡¯t thankful for was the fact that the street in question was, according to the map¡¯s estimation of my speed and distance, half an hour away. That was unacceptable. So with my body roaring with energy from the Brawns I kept getting, and the potential ones I¡¯d get, I launched myself forward with fervor unmatched by anything I¡¯d done in my past life. Buildings zoomed by, and my lungs began burning as my heart simultaneously began pumping. Oh, I wasn¡¯t running at any superhuman speeds, not yet, but the way the air rushed over me, the exhilarating feeling of strength and energy, and the promise of more and more by the Villainous System and the world - it all excited me. It drove me. Cars honked around me, men and women yelled out at my reckless running, yet this sprint of mine lasted only a brief 5 minutes, and I covered 15 minutes worth of distance in that period. My Brawns progress went from 5 to 15 in just these 5 minutes, and a quick glance told me that this running was clocking me at a 100/100 efficiency. I would have laughed, but I was in the middle of gulping air and coughing. After five minutes of brisk walking, I began my second sprint. Time passed by in a flash, and soon enough I was standing where the System was pointing me. The decrepit street was a marvel in architecture, with worn down buildings, potholes, and trash galore. Alphonso truly knew what he was doing, the smart bastard. Once I regained my breath, I excitedly entered the building where I spotted the man of the day loitering out with a cig in hand. His eyes shone briefly once I came into view, and he motioned me with his head to follow him. The aura of mystery and professionalism seeped out of the man, and I loved every second of it. Unconsciously, I felt my hand sweat, but that might have been more from the sheer heat and my running on the way here. Following the professional, I found myself marching downstairs where only a flickering light was preventing me from tripping. Not that it helped much - it was already too dim to function better than the cigarette in Alphonso¡¯s hand. Regardless, we were finally in a basement room where I could help but exclaim out loud. ¡°This is..¡± ¡°This here, Lick, is where we¡¯ll be waiting for a nice fella who seemed to be interested in that cube you found.¡± It was a stereotypical mob/mafia room with a circular table in the middle surrounded by chairs and random knick knacks. Bottles of alcohol, suitcases, and a couple of packs of cigarettes and what appeared to be poker packs were lying around haphazardly, though thankfully not out of their boxes. Other than Alphonso and I, Bango was seated on a chair looking his mean self. He simply gave me a nod of acknowledgement before continuing his scrolling on the phone. A third person dressed fully in black with a fedora and tailcoat stood in the corner of the room, his face undefinable from the poorly hanging light bulb above the table. ¡®This is amazing!¡¯ ¡°Now, Lick, I don¡¯t got a clue how you managed to identify that cube, but the buyer certainly did from a single pic¡¯,¡± he took a whiff, ¡°You and the rest are here as protection while we sell the thing. Just look mean but don¡¯t speak a single word, I¡¯ll handle it.¡± I nodded enthusiastically, and he thrust a black object toward me. I blinked before finding the barrel of a gun staring me in the eye, then he flipped the weapon so that its handle was on my side. ¡°Can¡¯t protect me if you only got your knuckles on you. Consider this a gift.¡± Gulping, I grasped the pistol and marveled in its beauty. Midway through my inspection, my mind reminded me of the safety lock on the gun. Alphonso grunted in approval, patting me on the back before pointing where I should stand and look evil. I grinned once I was in place and pocketed the weapon, though not before making sure it would be easy to unsheath it in a flash. Minutes passed by before A and B stood up and walked out of the room. Confused, I made to follow after them but was instead told to stay put. A couple more minutes later, they came back with three more men in tow, one of the new guys looking extra. He was dressed in a bright white that contrasted with the filth of this place, his eyes covered by a pair of glasses that he made sure to reposition with a middle finger. That man was a professional too, and it showed. ¡°Care for a drink?¡± A waved toward the array of bottles, but the buyer¡¯s face scrunched up. ¡°Just get to the point. You said you got an.. Alien supercomputer. Show me.¡± Wordlessly, B lifted a suitcase from below the table and unfurled it. A confirmed the contents then pushed it toward the buyer, and I saw it in his eyes. His eyes glimmered, and his mouth gaped open with wonder as his hands trembled toward the cube. ¡°Magnificent..¡± He beheld the cube, caressing its angular edges and glowing grooves, ¡°I can¡¯t believe it¡­¡± ¡°Now, I was led to believe you have something to offer for our goodwill, Sir Maxwell?¡± A tapped on the table. ¡°O-oh, that is correct. Forgive me, it¡¯s just been so long since I¡¯ve seen something so.. And in such pristine condition¡­¡± he shook his head. ¡°No matter. Get them the bag - the big one.¡± One of Maxwell¡¯s guards headed outside while the man kept inspecting the cube. I silently looked around at the situation since boredom began taking hold of me. Alphonso was just making small talk with Maxwell, and the mysterious man in black remained in place, looking as cool as he was from the start. ¡®I wonder if I could ask him for tips.¡¯ Thankfully, we didn¡¯t need to wait too long as the bag dropped on the table and the guard smoothly unzipped it. I couldn¡¯t help but gulp at the sheer amount of cash inside, and I even spotted A looking befuddled before schooling his expression and peering at Maxwell. ¡°That¡¯s the promised 250k?¡± ¡°350. You¡¯ve promised me an item that I greatly desired and delivered it in a timely manner. I can excuse the shoddy location, and consider this as a sign of my goodwill. Maybe next time you¡¯d pick a better place for our deals if you do find another like this, hmm?¡± ¡°Your goodwill is appreciated, and we will be sure to let you know of any similar findings.¡± Silently, the two men firmly shook hands, then the cube was deposited back in its suitcase, and Maxwell and his thugs departed. I nervously waited for someone to speak a word, but silence remained for too long. Just as soon as I opened my mouth, Alphonso spoke. ¡°Lick, you lucky sonuvabitch.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°Fucking hell,¡± B huffed out, his mean face fading into one of giddiness. ¡°Look at this cash!¡± ¡°Hope you didn¡¯t forget our agreement,¡± the man in black spoke, and Alphonso grinned. ¡°Oh, I haven¡¯t. Grab the counter.¡± The basement bustled as we began counting the cash, the number in the machine going up with each wad of green. Minutes passed, hearts began pumping more and more, and we were finally done. ¡°10%, which means 35k as promised,¡± Alphonso handed the number to the man in black. ¡°Good knowing you, gentlemen. Don¡¯t forget to call me next time something like this pops up.¡± ¡°Havin¡¯ the infamous Silver by our side will always make me feel safe.¡± With a salute, the man in black took off, and we were left with 315k on the table. ¡°Damn.¡± I spoke. ¡°Damn,¡± the two echoed. --- Instead of walking out with a whole 105 thousand cash in my pockets, Alphonso handed me just 5k and told me to buy a better phone than my brick, then wait for him to contact me with details on how I¡¯d be able to get the rest without worrying about the tax collectors. Truthfully, I was a tad disappointed, but seeing Bango nod and walk out with his own 5k made me less hesitant in trusting Alphonso and following his instructions. As soon as I was out of the building, the Villainous System announced something that made me whisper scream out of jubilance. ¡°Yes!¡± [Congratulations. You have acquired 5000 Bling.] I felt my breath shudder as I immediately jumped into the shopping window. My target? Superpowers. [Shop: Superpowers:- Cruel Animal Speech : 5000 Bling Endless Glare : 8500 Bling Flop : 10000 Bling Sniper Spit : 15000 Bling] My legs wavered, and my knees trembled. I nearly collapsed then and there, the options in front of my eyes shattering my hopes of gaining a useful power this early into my career. Maybe I was wrong, I said to myself. Maybe these were useful. So I asked the System, and it explained as follows: Cruel Animal Speech allows animals to understand what I¡¯m saying, but I won¡¯t be able to understand them, nor would they be compelled to follow my commands in any capacity. The pain! Endless Glare made it so that my eyes wouldn¡¯t need to blink anymore, so, if needs be, I could win any staring contest in the galaxy. My heart! Flop meant I could make an object floppy after saying a horrid phrase. I¡¯d only ever want this if I wanted to target someone with permanent ED. Sniper Spit was arguably the most useful of them, and also the most costly, but useful is probably very arguable in of itself. In essence, wherever I¡¯d aim to spit, I¡¯d hit it as long as it isn¡¯t within a ridiculous distance. That¡¯s it. The horror! I gulped and shiveringly scrolled downward. The more expensive powers surely would be of more use, wouldn¡¯t they? [Shop: Superpowers:- Muscles of Doom : 75000 Bling Hare¡¯s Bane : 85000 Bling Flash! : 100000 Bling L0ck H4t3r : 133337 Bling] I closed the tab, took a deep breath, then headed where the map noted down the place Alphonso suggested I get my new phone. At that point, I was better off getting that phone and maybe buying a couple more attributes. 10 more Brawn sounded incredibly good, though if I¡¯m going to get a phone, I could also get a high quality laptop.. Brains began sounding a lot more tempting. When my stomach grumbled at the near 14 hours of dieting I was on, I decided to treat myself to a snack at a restaurant on the way. ¡°Big T¡¯s¡± was its name, something I questioned the cashier on after my order was placed. ¡°Oh, the name? Big stands for big, and T stands for Tasty. It¡¯s nice, no?¡± said the woman. ¡°I, Limbo Jimbo, will be the judge of that.¡± ¡°Sure, sure. One big tasty special for Limbo Jimbo coming right up!¡± she giggled as I gave her my winning smile before claiming my table. As I waited for my food, I fiddled with the System, the 5000 Money (decidedly not Bling) burning a hole in my imaginary wallet. With that much I could get 10 Brawn or 6 Brain, or two Spirit, but who cared about Spirit when my only options were ¡®Flop¡¯ or something. I tried to imagine my future self, to see what I would look like. Was I the man with the invincible body? The unstoppable force and immovable object all in one? I could see myself clashing with Superheroes, facing fire, lightning, and magic, and batting them all away with one swipe as I break the sound barrier, sonic booms following the wake of each of my steps. Or was I the man with the intellect to calculate the universe? I¡¯d stand atop a mountain, each villain and hero alike falling at each step in droves, my superior brain having already calculated each and every move they were, are, and will be making. If one even tries to touch me, an army of drones and super futuristic weapons at my beck and call would obliterate them while I raked in all the cash. I salivated at both scenarios, to the point where I could smell victory from where I was sitting. ¡°Here you go, sir. One Big Tasty Special for Limbo Jimbo.¡± Stumbling out of my dreams, I began digging into the burger since my stomach made it clear that it wouldn¡¯t allow me to think more if it wasn¡¯t satiated. What I was able to do while eating, however, was use those 5000 Money and stick them equally into Brains and Brawn, with 4 and 4 into each, 3000 and 2000 respectively, raising them up to 21 Brains and 23 Brawn. ¡®After all,¡¯ I licked my lips as I took in the last bites of this meal. ¡®Why should I choose when I can have both?¡¯