《Brimstone Fantasy: Dancing in the Depths of Madness》


 The blood of the covenant is thicker...

    I often wondered how I would die. The thoughts never came to me because I wanted to die per-say but because having lived the life I lived, taken as many lives as I have taken both by choice and in service I never thought I would have a peaceful death. However, lying here in my son''s arms slowly bleeding out, thinking upon my choices that led me here, I couldn¡¯t help but be at peace.


    ***


    My ¡°career¡± started in a poor African nation on the west coast of the continent with me as a child soldier under the banner of ¡°The Populist Liberation Army¡± in my early teenage years.  Fortunately or unfortunately some might say, I joined what was essentially a terrorist because I wanted revenge against the standing government for the role they played in my family''s death and the subsequent cover up.


    In my attempt to mete out justice for the sake of my family, I ended up committing even worse atrocities in the name of ¡°Liberation¡±. It was only after we won that I realized the monster that I followed, and the monster I had become so I left to try and become a better person. It also helped that not long after I left the country began to fall apart under the new leadership leading to another war of what little resources remained before the country  eventually dissolved.


    However even with my newfound desire to be a better man, I had been a dog for too long, killing had already become too ingrained within me to give it up so I joined the army again. This time serving a whole new breed of monster. Ones who would send their men to death while sipping on 5000$ wine and smoking a 2500$ cigar. Scum through and through.


    For another 20 years I served as a weapon for these people, a hound of war because I knew there was nothing else for me. Through the broken bones, the torn muscles I fought tooth and nail, not because I wanted to please my superiors or that I cared about my comrades.


    No. It was because if I didn¡¯t fight hard, if I didn¡¯t lose myself in the dance of death that is war I would begin to remember things that were better left forgotten.


    Until one day I met him. He was a feral little thing, came at me with a knife aimed straight at my kidney one day when I was walking in one of the poorer areas of the city I was stationed in, but even with his ferociousness he couldn¡¯t have been more than 12 years old at the time and with my training it was light work in disarming and disabling him.


    As I had him pinned to the ground with my boot I saw him, truly saw him. Instead of a head full of black curls, there were patches in his hair, no doubt caused by ringworms. If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.


    His face, apart from being covered in dirt and grime was gaunt, his eyes slightly sunken in with one of them having the signature ring of a black eye probably from another failed robbery attempt.


    His clothes, no more than rags, did little to hide more bruises on his black skin or the obvious signs of malnutrition. He looked like shit, plain and simple. Yet there was a look in his eyes that was all too familiar, as he struggled underneath me, punching my leg , biting, scratching, anything to get me off him.


    Hunger. Anger. But most of all an unwillingness to accept defeat, more than likely because if failed now he probably wouldn¡¯t live to see tomorrow. Feelings that reminded me of the time before I joined the ¡°Liberation¡± Army, surviving on my own for months after losing my family as I tried to  make it the next closest city.


    It wasn¡¯t long until he tired himself out, and when he finally stopped struggling, and when he did  I couldn¡¯t help but think how pitiful, and it was immediately followed by the feeling of shame, as the last thing I wanted from others was pity. No, the same reason I didn¡¯t want their pity then is the reason why this boy wouldn¡¯t want my pity now, because those that feel it never help in the way that matters.


    A coin here, some food there, little bits and pieces of what they had if they even gave me anything at all, saying things like ¡°oh you poor thing¡± or ¡°I¡¯m sorry this happened to you, but I''m struggling too¡±.


    At the time there were dozens of other children just like me on the streets due to the ramping of skirmishes between the ¡°Liberation¡± Army and the nation¡¯s standing army, leading to the deaths of many families that got caught up in the crossfire.


    Between the loss of customers from all the deaths, and the lack of materials due to fights over trade routes there wasn¡¯t much left for someone to feed themselves let alone an orphan. Leaving them only pity and scraps to survive.


    When I thought about my time as a street rat and the anger I felt at being looked at with pity I decided to do what no one else did for me.


    As I took my foot of his chest he still laid there, his breathing erratic and haggard I looked him in the eye and said to him


    ¡°Hey kid, instead of flailing around like a headless chicken, how would you like to have a job instead?¡± My eyebrows raised, a slight smirk at my lips as he looked up at me, his thin eyebrows furrowing at the implication of the question before he then opened his mouth to say.


    ¡°Why the fuck would you offer me a Job?¡± to which I responded.


    ¡°Why the fuck not?¡±


    His face began to scrunch up in a way that only someone thinking ¡®are you stupid?¡¯ would make, and I couldn¡¯t help but think,


    This ought to be interesting.

 ...Than the Water of the Womb

    After his initial bout of confusion at my offer, the next emotion that rippled across his face was one of distrust and for good reason. Reaching out my hand out to him I smiled and said.


    ¡° If I wanted to abduct you, I wouldn¡¯t do so by asking you to work for me, instead I would have just taken you and you know just as well as I do you wouldn¡¯t be able to stop me,¡± I whispered, in a way reminiscent of a teacher telling a student the sky is blue.


    ¡°So I¡¯ll ask again, do you wanna work for me?¡± my hand was still outstretched to him. Looking at it he said to me, ¡°Why me huh?¡± taking my hand. I began to pull him up as he continued, ¡° I¡¯ve seen you walking this way before and you never once offered them the same.¡±


    He then points at other orphans that make this particular ally their home. ¡°Hell you barely even looked their way so¡­so why me?¡±


    Indeed why did the thought of helping him even cross my mind? It wasn¡¯t long after pondering on the question that the answer came to me, and I couldn¡¯t help but smile brightly, something I hardly did those days,folding my arms across my chest and said to him.


    ¡°A couple reasons actually.¡± Raising my right hand up just enough that I could use my fingers I then lift my index saying, ¡°The first being that you reminded me of myself when I was your age, I too was an orphan fighting for scraps just like you, however just being and orphan wouldn¡¯t have piqued my interest on its own.¡±


    ¡°No, what really caught me was the fire in your eyes that matched my own back then. Eyes that refused to let my circumstances dictate the outcome of my life, something I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve seen the other kids on the block don¡¯t have. Not like you. When it comes to getting help, if the person in question doesn¡¯t have the will to help themselves, they¡¯ll only have the ability to wait for handouts that come few and far between.¡± At  that my smile begins to dim as a sight escapes my nose.


    ¡°A cruel perspective I know but I have no interest in raising a child, it¡¯s just not in my plans. Helping someone ambitious like you? I wouldn¡¯t mind it, it would help alleviate some of my bad karma at the very least.¡± At that I could see his forehead begin to furrow in thought before he asked me.


    ¡°Why not,¡± he asked, gripping at his sides with his slightly lowered.  Knowing what he meant by asking me that question


    ¡°Because,¡± I whisper. ¡°I don¡¯t have the time nor the patience to raise a child. I might not look like it but I¡¯m actually a soldier, more specifically an officer stationed here currently to help keep the peace, with all the riots and gangs running rampant in the city¡± Looking down at my outfit, I was in pale blue khaki shorts along with a black t-shirt and sandals, this being one of my days off that I would usually take to go shopping for groceries among other things that I needed.


    While there was a mess hall at the base I was stationed at where the food wasn¡¯t particularly terrible, I enjoyed cooking my own food as it was one of the few things I had that eased the pressure of my responsibilities and the ever-present guilt that weighed on my heart as if was a ball and chain tied around it.


    Getting down on my right knee I look him in the eyes and say, ¡°Furthermore this is one of my more tamer assignments due to an injury I received on a previous mission, with my more intensive deployments all being  in active war zones with one base that I was stationed at having missiles blowing up part of the base in an enemy attack.¡±


    ¡°My line of work is not one I¡¯d risk the safety of a child for no reason. It just wouldn¡¯t be feasible to bring you or any other child with me after my job here is done. Do you understand?¡±


    And after the things I¡¯ve done, I don¡¯t know if I would have the emotional ability to raise a child without fucking it, and subsequently them, up. I thought to myself, because if I was being honest I had made more than my fair share of orphans in my long career as a revolutionary and as a soldier.


    ¡°Yeah I get it.¡± The kid said. ¡°Then what..uh..what job do you even want me to do if you might be leaving anytime and you can¡¯t bring me with you?¡± His hand gripping at the hem of his rag shirt.


    ¡°Well it¡¯s quite simple really, of the times that you saw me walking this way I¡¯m sure you noticed the bag of groceries that I brought with me on the way back?¡±


    At that he nods and says sheepishly, ¡° Yeah, that¡¯s uh..part of the reason I tried to rob you was because I knew you had the money.¡±


    ¡°Right, well I was thinking that you could be my bag boy. Basically you would help carry my groceries and other things I wanna buy from the stores and bring with me back to my house on the base, and before you ask.¡±  I could see the question forming on his lips after saying that he would be coming with me on the base. ¡°My issue is with civilians, especially children who are permanently living at the base, but since you¡¯re just helping me deliver some things it¡¯ll be fine since you won¡¯t be staying.¡±


    ¡°Ah..then where will I be staying then?¡± His voice then dropped  to a whisper, ¡°If I¡¯m getting paid in cash then the other kids might try and steal it from me if I stay here.¡±


    ¡°Here¡¯s what I¡¯ll do, I¡¯ll get you a decent motel room close to the base with a 2 month so you don¡¯t have to worry about having a place to stay while you save up. On top of that I¡¯ll pay you 5000 rand every trip with there being 1 trip a week, possibly 2.¡± With that I then stand up and reach out my arm for a hand shake.


    ¡°That sounds good enough for you..¡±


    ¡°Amir sir, and yes that sounds good to me.¡± He takes my hand in the firmest handshake a malnourished teenager could muster.


    ¡°Good, my name is Edward by the way, Edward Adebayo. Now let''s go get you some proper clothes and get you set up Amir.¡±


    ***


    After Amir accepted my offer our first stop was to go get him a fresh set of clothes for him to wear immediately after and at least another 3 because I couldn¡¯t have him running around in rags when he¡¯s helping me bring in the groceries to my house and only having one pair would just lead to them becoming rags again. Furthermore, since I decided to take him under my wing even if temporarily, I don¡¯t tolerate  disorderly behavior from my subordinates and I¡¯d be damned if my ¡°employee¡± looked anything other than prim and proper.


    From where we were it was a 30 minute walk to the nearest clothing store that had clothes for males. It was in those 30 minutes of walking that I was reminded of why I didn¡¯t have the patience to raise a kid. The constant questions. It started out pretty infrequently with him asking me things like


    ¡°How old are you?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be turning 37 next year


    ¡°How long have you been a Soldier?¡±


    ¡°20 years. 3 of those as an Officer.¡±Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.


    With those questions seemingly breaking some invisible barrier that he had between us, the flood of questions began to pour in like ¡°How many people have you killed?¡± or ¡°Have you ever rode in a tank before?¡± among a never ending deluge that ate away at my sanity as fast as a rat chews through wood and just as annoying.


    ¡°Enough.¡± I said in a tone that brokered no argument. ¡°I know that you¡¯re probably curious about a lot of things, but there¡¯s no need to ask everything all at once. While I don¡¯t know how long I¡¯ll be staying I do know that I won¡¯t be leaving anytime soon so you have more than enough time to ask your questions. Slowly.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, it¡¯s just that I never had anyone to talk to after my parents died.¡±  After saying that his lips slightly protrude as I see a single tear begin to form at the corner of his eyes that he quickly wipes away as he continues, ¡°The other kids here are just as likely to be your friend one day and stab you the next. You know?¡± His voice started to have a sharpness to it that was all too familiar to me.


    As we continued walking to the store I noticed his first began to slowly tighten as I was sure that he was speaking from deeply personal experience. While I had no desire to be his therapist, I knew how a memory could weigh on the heart with no one to share it with and seeing how the memory weighed on his, I thought I could endure a little more talking. I began to slow down walking, we weren¡¯t too far from the store now so I had some time to let him lay it out in the open, something I never had the thought to do myself


    Sighing, ¡°Yeah I know what you mean, had my fair share of betrayals in my younger years so yeah I understand perfectly.¡± Patting his head a couple times I then ask, ¡°What happened?¡±


    Quickly looking at me I gave him a quick nod before he faced forward once again and began to  say, ¡°There were these two brothers that seemed to be inseparable that also used to live in the ally, Jabari and his younger brother Amari, and when I was kicked out of my parents apartment by the landlord when they died it was Jabari who convinced the other kids to let me stay in there in the ally.¡±


    ¡°They were talking about how there wasn¡¯t any space in the alley for anyone else when in fact it was probably more like they didn¡¯t want any more competition for whatever charity on that particular street would offer.¡± After saying that I could hear him scoff at the thought.


    ¡°Even his own brother didn¡¯t want me there so I was confused on why he tried so hard to convince them to let me stay, until he reminded me that we actually used to be best friends when we were in elementary school even though me and his brother who was a year younger never got along that well. We even swore ourselves to brotherhood! Something his brother didn''t like, and just ended up ignoring me from then on. ¡°


    ¡°After the fifth grade I never saw him again because he ended up moving to another school district because they had moved into a new house across the city. It was only 3 years but when I saw him again on that street I couldn¡¯t recognize him at all. His left eye was blinded by a knife, and he was missing half his teeth. He looked like shit, but even when he was down at his lowest with a brother to take care of he still looked out for me, still remembered that promise we made.¡± taking a deep, he looked back once again to which I gestured for him to continue


    ¡°Well maybe he should have forgotten that promise. He and his brother were already struggling before I had arrived and him helping me out didn¡¯t make it any better. There were even times that he would split some of the food he managed to scrounge up between me, him and his brother, when I couldn¡¯t find anything. Something Amrari was not happy with and he made sure to let him know often, leading to having multiple arguments in the months I was staying there that led to them getting into a fight, where Jabari ended up hitting his head on a rock hard enough to hear it crack.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s...wow.¡± When it comes to betrayal, no one does it as well as family. I mused darkly, thinking of my own past.


    ¡°Yeah, the worst part is thatAmari ran away right after and the people that I saw Jabari be friendly with just looked away while he was bleeding out. By the time I managed to get an officer to come Jabari was already dead. The funny thing is that a week later I found Amari dead in a ditch a week later while I was scavenging for food. Probably tried to rob someone only to get killed in turn.¡± To which I noticed a slight smile tugging at lips at the thought.


    ¡°Listen I won¡¯t speak on whether or not that kid Amari deserved what happened to him, but I will say that there¡¯s no need to feel guilty about Jabari staying true to his promise.¡± I say as I put my hand on his shoulder.


    ¡°The most important thing when it comes to being a man is being able to keep your word, because sometimes that¡¯s all you might have to get by. And I promise you that I will make sure to keep mine as well so you don¡¯t have to worry.¡± At that I could see him relax.


    ¡°Thanks.¡±


    ¡° No problem, now let¡¯s get you some new clothes.¡± I say as I point to the clothing store across the street from where we were.


    Going inside after making a rough guess on his size I got him 3 pairs of shorts, 2 pairs of socks and sneakers as well as 3 pairs of plain white t-shirts as well as 2 sets of pajamas. I also got him a 5 pack of underwear, of which I made him wear 1 set along with the regular clothes on the way out so he could be more comfortable on the way back.


    While we were making our way back I also stopped at a general store to get some toothbrushes, soap, shampoo and toothpaste.


    ***


    From where we were it didn¡¯t take long to find the motel, with a big white  sign rising high, with the words  ¡°Ecomotel¡± written in a mix of red and blue. Walking into the reception area, I headed to the desk and after speaking to the man at the counter I managed to get Amir a one bedroom on the first floor for 400 rand a night coming out to be 24 thousand rand for the 2 months I promised him.


    The total price ended up to be just a small pinch in my overall funds as I had a little more than half a million rand saved up in my bank by now as I had been a military officer for about 3 years at this point. Adding to that my years as a soldier before that and my minimalist lifestyle, I had more than enough money to fund this whim of mine.


    After paying for the room we headed over to check it out as well as put away all the clothes I had bought for him.  Stepping inside it was as I expected, beige walls, and decent sized bed with white sheets and a walk in shower, no tub. Turning to him I asked.


    ¡°What do you think?¡± To which he said


    ¡°Much better than living out on the street that¡¯s for sure.¡±  Flopping face first on the bed I could hear him groan in relief.


    ¡°Well first thing¡¯s first, before you start rubbing your dirty ass face in the sheets go take a shower and when ur done we can discuss your dress code when you¡¯re working for me and my expectations for hygiene. Understood?¡±


    ¡°Yes sir!¡± After saying that he practically teleports to the bathroom, with me being able to hear the shower being turned on not too long after. Sitting down in the only chair in the room I get comfortable and let out a sigh


    Guess he also really wanted a shower huh? Probably been quite a while since he had a warm shower.


    It wasn¡¯t till 15 minutes later that he stepped out of the shower fully dressed in his pajamas, before sitting on the bed facing toward me


    ¡°Man did that feel good.¡±


    ¡°I bet it did. So here¡¯s the deal when it comes to hygiene. I want you to brush your teeth once before you go to bed and once when you wake up in the morning. Furthermore you are also required to take a shower before you go to bed every night and the morning you wake up. Following so far?¡±


    ¡°Yeah I got it.¡± he said readjusting his position on the bed.


    ¡°When it comes to dress code, I expect you to iron your clothes every time I come to pick you up, I don¡¯t want to see a single crease in them, understand?¡±


    ¡°Yes sir.¡±


    ¡°Finally I want you to keep your shoes clean, I don¡¯t want to see even a spot of dirt on them, the bottom of them included.¡± To which I could see indignation begin to creep into his features


    ¡°Why the hell would I have to clean the bottom of my shoes if they¡¯re  meant to get dirty?¡±


    ¡°Because it builds character. You might not understand it now but people are creatures of habit, and when you get stuck in a habit it¡¯s hard to stop. The purpose of cleaning your shoe so thoroughly is to get you in the habit of doing things to completion instead of just doing the bare minimum.¡± I could see his brows furrowed in thought before he then said


    ¡°Yeah I don¡¯t get it¡±


    ¡°Well you¡¯ll get it one day, till then just do as I asked and we¡¯ll have no problems. Ok?¡±


    ¡°Yes..sir.¡±


    ¡°Good. Then I¡¯ll see you next sunday at 9am make sure to be ready by then¡± I say as I stand up and begin walking out   the door.


    ¡°With that, goodnight Amir and sweet dreams.¡±


    ¡°Thank Mr.Edward and good night to you as well.¡°