《Garm & List: Where Do We Go From Here?》 Chapter 1 - How To Win Friends And Influence Pixies ¡°Ok. Let¡¯s try to get it right this time.¡± Step 1: Hold your breath. Garm took a deep breath and held it in his lungs. ¡°Check.¡± Damnit. Garm took another deep breath. Step 2: Open the portal. He pushed the button on the Functional Arresting Fictional Organizer, or FAFO. A blinding light pierced his surroundings, swirling in blues, greens, golds, and reds. Check. The bars on the FAFO device dropped from two to one. One more shot after this. Step 3: Jump in. Garm looked around. Open plains creased by dried rivers and a red sky were all that stretched for miles in any direction. Anywhere had to be better than here. Adios, crappy dead world. He jumped into the light, feet first, like some kind of action movie drop kick, and it rose to meet him like a shock of cold water in a winter lake. He counted backwards, bracing for the exit. 3¡­2¡­1¡­ The world swam into view around him. Blue skies, green trees, golden sunlight¡­ brown dirt. Garm landed face down. Cautiously, he pushed himself up off of the soft soil and double checked that what he was seeing was true. It was. Less than ten feet away from him, a massive tree stood, its roots dug deep into the dark earth, branches stretching out in every direction. As far as Garm was concerned, it was the most beautiful thing he¡¯d ever seen. He sprung up to his feet and pumped a fist into the air. ¡°Yes! Oh, yes! Ha ha!¡± He ran over and hugged the tree. ¡°Oh, you are the prettiest tree in the universe, you know that?¡± ¡°Why, thank you.¡± The tree¡¯s voice was deep? No. It was a fake kind of deep. Like someone without a deep voice trying to sound like they have a deep voice. Also, trees can talk? Garm lept back. He looked at the tree for any sign of a mouth, but there was none. You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story. Cautiously, he spoke again. ¡°You can¡­ talk?¡± There was a stifled giggle, and then the faux deep voice returned. ¡°Yes, I can, boy. For I am a special tree. Tell me, what is your name?¡± Garm squinted incredulously at the tree. ¡°Uhm, I¡¯m Garm..?¡± Just like that, a small creature jumped out from behind the tree. Some winged, tiny person. Garm thought it kinda looked like a¡­ Oh, damnit. ¡°Ha ha ha! Now you are all mine! I know your name!¡± The pixie did some kind of strange dance with her hands on her hips while she moved from side to side and stuck out her tongue. Garm sighed. ¡°That¡¯s not actually how it works. You¡¯d have to know my full name, not just my first, and that isn¡¯t even my first name. It¡¯s a nickname.¡± The pixie stopped dancing. ¡°But that¡¯s neither here nor there. I just need a place to rest for¡­¡± Garm looked at the FAFO. A counter had appeared in the place of one of the empty bars. It read 48:13. ¡°Two days or so. Can you point me to the nearest town or village?¡± The pixie crossed her arms and pouted. Garm let his head lean back and let out a sigh of exasperation. ¡°Please. I¡¯ve been stuck in a dead world for almost a week now. I need to find somewhere with an actual bed.¡± The pixie perked up. ¡°A dead world?¡± Garm looked back at her. ¡°Yeah. No water, no sunlight, just dry dirt and endless lightning storms. So, please¡ª¡± ¡°How did you get here?¡± Garm realised the pixie hadn¡¯t put it together; that the device in his hand was something special. He understood then what a blessing that was. If she¡¯d known, she likely would have tried to steal it. He thought for a moment. ¡°Uh, I am a great wizard. I can travel between realms with magic.¡± The pixie huffed. ¡°Liar.¡± Garm felt a little hurt. Sure, maybe great was a bit of an overstatement, but he was a pretty good wizard. Ok. He was an alright wizard. Sometimes. ¡°What¡¯s in your hand?¡± The pixie edged closer. Damn. ¡°This is my magic¡­ umm. You know what? It¡¯s not important. If you could just¡ª¡± ¡°Tell me what it is, and I¡¯ll tell you where the closest village is.¡± The pixie stuck out a miniscule hand as a gesture of the bargain. ¡°Fair trade?¡± Garm weighed his options. Looking around, he saw nothing but sparse trees and fields. He could just start walking¡­ maybe find a stream and follow that¡­ how long could it take? He sighed and stuck out his hand. The tiny pixie grabbed onto a finger and shook it. ¡°Fine. It¡¯s a Functional Arresting Fictional Organizer.¡± She scrunched her face. ¡°Those are made-up words.¡± ¡°All words are made up.¡± She had no response for that one. Garm smiled. ¡°We had a deal. I told you what it is. Now you tell me where the nearest village is.¡± ¡°What does a fictional attesting organ grinder¡­ whatever do?¡± ¡°We had a deal. Tell me where the town is.¡± She pursed her lips. ¡°That way.¡± Her outstretched hand pointed vaguely to the west. ¡°I¡¯ll need better directions than that.¡± ¡°Fair. Trade.¡± She huffed and crossed her arms again. Garm held out his hands in surrender. ¡°You know, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I¡¯m Garm. What should I call you?¡± The pixie squinted. ¡°You can call me¡­¡± There was a long pause, as though she was trying to make up a name on the spot. ¡°List.¡± Garm chuckled. ¡°List? Like what I use when I shop for food, so I don¡¯t forget anything?¡± ¡°No. Like what I use, so I don¡¯t forget all the things I¡¯ll do to you if you don¡¯t tell me what that fractional amassing fritter cake, ugh! Whatever.¡± She stomped around in the air. ¡°Why do humans always keep secrets?¡± Garm was actually laughing now at the tiny being''s tantrum. ¡°Well, first, I¡¯m not a human. I¡¯m an elf.¡± Garm pointed towards his ears. ¡°And second, I tell you what. If you take me to the village, I¡¯ll explain what this does on the way.¡± List unfolded her arms. ¡°But! On one condition.¡± She frowned. ¡°What?¡± ¡°You don¡¯t try to steal it from me. Or play any tricks on me. Deal?¡± Garm could see the gears turning in her head. ¡°Deal.¡± He let out a sigh. ¡°Good. Lead the way.¡± Chapter 2 - The Problematic Particulars of Precocious Pixies The more Garm tried to explain the FAFO to List, the less interested she became in it, which Garm was relieved to observe. Instead, it seemed she enjoyed the activity of asking as many questions as possible, regardless of the topic. ¡°What color is your hair?¡± It was brown, just like hers. ¡°Why are your ears in such a weird shape?¡± They were pointed¡­ just like hers. ¡°Why do you wear clothes?¡± Garm stopped in the middle of the field. ¡°List.¡± She turned and looked at him. He forced a smile. ¡°How far away is the village?¡± She screwed up her face, and then answered, ¡°I dunno.¡± Garm slumped. ¡°Is there even a village?¡± List nodded. ¡°Yep. I haven¡¯t been there in a long time, though.¡± Garm understood the ageless nature of pixies. Long lived, like himself, though perpetually childlike. A long time could indeed be a very long time. He winced as he asked, ¡°How long has it been?¡± List started pacing back and forth through the air, counting imaginary numbers with her finger. ¡°200 years.¡± Garm took in a long breath and let it out slowly. ¡°That is a long time.¡± List ignored him. She was focused on something in the distance, unseen and over the hills. She turned her head, listening to it. Garm cupped his hand over his ear and listened as well. There was a noise, some rhythmic, deep drumming. A thunder of hooves broke the stillness, and over the hill charged a figure in gleaming steel, their horse kicking up a plume of dust as they closed the distance. ¡°Eeep!¡± List yelped and vanished into thin air. Garm shook his head. The rider came up, slowing as they approached, hand confidently on the hilt of their longsword, straddled atop a dappled mare. Garm was piecing it together. The shining half-plate and polished sword told him one thing: this knight wasn¡¯t far from a keep. No one willingly rides for days fully armored like that. And since they were alone, they were probably some kind of sentry.This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source. Garm raised a hand in salute to the rider, and the rider returned the gesture. As they approached, they removed their helm with their free hand. It was a young man, human, with red hair and a day¡¯s growth worth of beard. ¡°Ho, there!¡± The man steadied his horse. ¡°Good day, traveler.¡± His voice was controlled and mature, much more mature than his face let on. Garm nodded. ¡°Good day to you, too, knight.¡± ¡°What brings you into my lord¡¯s lands?¡± Garm smiled, ¡°What has already been established. I am traveling, and I meant no trespass. I am simply looking for lodging for a few days, and then I shall move on.¡± The man nodded. ¡°Very good. The village is just beyond the hills, not two miles hence. You¡¯ll find lodging and food.¡± Garm graciously nodded. ¡°Thank you, good knight. I¡¯ll be on my way, then.¡± The knight drew up his reins, but then stopped. ¡°Traveler, have you seen any Pixies on your walk? Any of the Fae?¡± Garm swallowed. ¡°Can¡¯t say that I have.¡± ¡°I see. Watch out for them. They¡¯re crafty and born thieves. We have had a rash of them through these parts lately. If you do come upon one, it is best to ignore them, and tell the watch when you arrive in town.¡± Garm nodded solemnly. ¡°Thank you, I will.¡± The knight nodded once more and returned their helm to their head before riding further along, leaving Garm in a thin haze of kicked up dust. After he was confident that the knight was out of earshot, he spoke. ¡°You can come out, List. He¡¯s gone.¡± List sheepishly appeared in front of him, arms crossed behind her back. Garm started walking as though nothing had happened. Casually, he began talking. ¡°So, when I meet a knight on the road, I expect them to warn me of dangers in the area. Bears, wolves, lions, even dragons.¡± List didn¡¯t make a sound. ¡°Usually, whatever is the largest threat in the area, so that I am prepared for the dangers. So, I think it¡¯s funny that this one went out of his way to warn me about pixies.¡± List remained quiet. ¡°Is there something I should know, List? Maybe it hasn¡¯t actually been 200 years since you were here?¡± List gasped. ¡°I¡¯m not a liar.¡± ¡°Uh-huh.¡± She fluttered up in front of his face. ¡°I¡¯m not! It¡¯s not me. I don¡¯t go to the village any more.¡± ¡°So, there are other pixies causing a ruckus?¡± List turned her back to him. ¡°Do you know these pixies?¡± She sighed, ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Were you going to tell me about them?¡± No response. ¡°List.¡± She turned back to him. ¡°They weren¡¯t going to hurt you or anything.¡± Garm crossed his arms. ¡°Oh no? What were they going to do with me?¡± ¡°Play games,¡± she said sheepishly. ¡°Games mean tricks, doesn¡¯t it?¡± His tone was chastising. List huffed. ¡°Maybe. Probably.¡± ¡°So, when I made you promise not to steal from me, you meant to lead me to your friends that would?¡± List looked to the ground. ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± Garm chuckled. How much trouble could a handful of pixies be? They were there most dangerous when you didn¡¯t know they were about. With that information, he was already one up on them. ¡°Come on, List. Let¡¯s get to town.¡± List¡¯s wings fluttered. ¡°You still want to go?¡± Garm picked up the pace. ¡°Of course. Let¡¯s go meet these friends of yours, shall we? Maybe we can all be buddies.¡± Chapter 3 - An Eye For Spells The village of Ern, as Garm had learned it was called, was idyllic in a way he hadn¡¯t expected. Thatched roofs lined the streets, draped with peat moss and seasonal growth. Thin plumes of smoke wafted from iron chimneys, signaling the start of dinner preparations. Children, some barely old enough to walk on their own, darted too and fro among the houses and shops, seemingly without a care in the world. It had been three years since Garm began using the FAFO, and this might be the most peaceful place he¡¯d ever been. The warning of the knight earlier, or lack thereof, was all the more clear. These people didn¡¯t have concerns, not like other villages he¡¯d visited. Their lives were lived out in peace, with mischievous pixies being at the fore of their troubles. Garm smiled. ¡°I bet that¡¯s nice.¡± List had vanished again, shortly before coming within eyesight of the town. Garm didn¡¯t argue. Regardless of whether she was part of the problem, she likely wouldn¡¯t be welcome. He made a mental list of steps and the order with which to accomplish them, now that he was in a proper town, and at the top of that list, was finding lodging. An elderly woman looked up from sweeping her porch as he walked past. Garm hesitated for a moment, not wanting to interrupt her work, but the warmth in her expression was as inviting as any open door. He approached with a smile and offered a short bow. ¡°Good afternoon, ma¡¯am. I¡¯m a traveler in need of lodging for the night. I don¡¯t have any coin, but I can offer goods to trade or services to render¡ªespecially if your town has need of a Magus.¡± The wrinkles on the woman''s face deepened in a genuine smile. ¡°Oh, young master, it¡¯s so nice to have well mannered visitors in town. If you are looking for room and board, then keep on the way you were headed until you see the sign of the Boar & Bottle. You won¡¯t find a better meal in town, or a better beer, if that suits you, young sir. And if you have goods to sell, you¡¯ll find traders of all kinds nearby. As far as work goes, you can check with the watch. They always have need of magic-folk.¡± Garm chuckled. The old woman may as well have been a tour guide. ¡°Thank you, truly. Your help is invaluable. Is there anything that I can help you with to return your generosity?¡± The woman looked at him with genuine joy. ¡°Oh no, young sir. I wouldn¡¯t ask anything of a weary traveler.¡± ¡°Weary, perhaps, but never so weary as to not return generosity when it is offered. But if there is truly nothing you need, then I will say thank you again, and be on my way.¡± The woman paused, and her eyes widened. ¡°Actually, young sir, if you have a moment to wait, I have a small parcel you could run to Sloh¡¯s Inquisitory¡ªit¡¯ll be next door to the Boar & Bottle. Let me fetch it.¡± The old woman leaned her broom against the wall and walked inside. Moments later, she returned with a small box, no bigger than a modest book, wrapped in parchment and tied with a golden strand. She pressed it towards Garm, and said, ¡°Give this to Eleanor in the shop. She is my granddaughter, and she has been waiting the better part of a month for this to come in from Hemmingford. I was going to run it over myself, but I think you¡¯ll get there faster than I can.¡±Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. Garm felt the weight of the package. It was unmistakably a book, but not just any book¡ªa magical one. Its heft wasn¡¯t entirely physical; it carried a presence, a gravity that extended into the intangible. The weight seemed to ripple into realms unseen, tethering this ordinary-looking parcel to a reality just beyond perception. ¡°Of course. I¡¯ll deliver it now. Not to call myself out, but you are very trusting with what is surely a precious package.¡± The old woman laughed. ¡°Oh, if you were to run off with it, I don¡¯t think you¡¯d make it an hour from the gates before Eleanor caught you and swapped your eyeballs with your toenails.¡± Garm cringed. ¡°I¡¯ll do my best to stay on her good side, then.¡± ¡°See that you do. Fiery temper on that one. She gets it from me.¡± The old woman grinned wryly. ¡°Now, get on with you, young master. Best not to keep her waiting.¡± Garm nodded and walked backwards into the street. ¡°Thank you again for your help.¡± The woman waved at him before returning to her broom and the dust at hand. Walking down the street with a grimoire in tow made Garm feel more than a little nervous. In his hometown, it would have made him a target for every cutpurse and confidence man for half a mile. He didn¡¯t have that same feeling about this town, but just to be safe, he raised his pointer finger to his forehead and touched it. The skin where the finger pressed stretched as he pulled it away, and then broke, creating a lidded, purple, third eye. The Detection spell had countless applications¡ªunearthing thoughts, sensing intentions, and uncovering hidden forces among them. In this instance, the purple iris signified its focus: the ability to reveal concealed magic. Any spell of deception or thievery cast nearby would be visible to him before it could take effect. It was probably overkill for a humble village like this, but the idea of losing a magical tome weighed too heavily on his conscience to take chances. The world around Garm transposed from the vibrant of spring to the technicolor psychedelia of a realm inundated with unseen magic, and washed his surroundings in caustic patterns. Garm adjusted the intensity of the spell as he sustained it, so that the world regained some of its normalcy. To his left, a tiny figure drifted lazily on the afternoon breeze. List was there beside him, invisible. He checked to see if anyone paid him any attention as he walked down the street, but most seemed content with their own concerns. He risked a word aloud with this hidden pixie. ¡°Are you OK, List?¡± The aura of the pixie looked at him. ¡°You can see me?¡± ¡°Yes, I can, and so can anyone else with this spell, which will be most mages.¡± She stopped and crossed her arms. ¡°That¡¯s not fair.¡± ¡°Says the person who can turn invisible at will.¡± List huffed, fluttering erratically. ¡°How would you like it if I could see through your tricks?¡± Garm ignored her. ¡°I think as long as we are in public here, you are right to stay hidden. However, when I deliver this book, stay outside of the building.¡± There was a small amount of awe in her reply. ¡°Are you gonna meet a wizard?¡± Garm ignored the change in tone. ¡°It¡¯s likely, and also likely that she will be able to see you.¡± ¡°But I want to meet a wizard.¡± Garm almost tripped. ¡°I¡¯m a wizard.¡± ¡°Prove it. Cast a spell.¡± He sputtered. ¡°I just did. Don¡¯t you see the eye in the middle of my forehead?¡± The aura of List fluttered in his face and studied him before she confidently said, ¡°You¡¯ve always had that.¡± ¡°I¡ªyou know what, forget it. Just stay outside for a minute. The shop is right there. I¡¯ll be in and out.¡± List sighed, ¡°Fine.¡± Garm looked up at the arcane sign hung above the door. To anyone without magic sight, the sign would seem to be a simple wooden plank carved with the name of the store, ¡®Sloh¡¯s Inquisitory¡¯, but through his third eye, Garm could see blazing fireworks, dragons breath that wove fiery letters, and wizard duels that ended in gracious bows. He smiled. It had been a long time since he¡¯d seen artistry like that. Garm pressed his hand against the warm wood of the magicked door and pushed it open, completely oblivious to the small pixie that fluttered just out of his line of sight.