《Manual Not Included (Dungeon Building, LitRPG, Isekai)》


 Chapter 1 - Look Up

    ¡°Yes!¡± The lock popped open, and Lacey pumped her fist.


    ¡°It opened? From a nine scratched onto the underside of the couch? Seriously?¡± her partner groused, but she knew he was into it. She just gave a grin and waggled her eyebrows as they entered what they hoped was the last room. ¡°This is whack!¡±


    She checked her watch and then scanned the room. Colt was right. This was truly a whacked escape room. The walls felt solid as if they¡¯d used sheetrock and everything instead of the cheap movable plywood partitions. Lacey was going to make her rooms like this. Even the furniture was heavy, like it was real stuff. Lacey was ready to hit the garage sales for their stuff and she was going to make it so solid, even the diehard fans couldn¡¯t thrash it. The rooms until now had challenged even her and Colt and they were ranked nationally as a team. All they had to do was complete one last room in fourteen minutes and they¡¯d have the capital to start their own business. Lacey¡¯s palms itched with nerves as she pressed her short nails into her palms to calm herself down. The prize money for first completion of the nationally televised escape room was insane, but they were ready for it.


    Lacey¡¯s eyes slid over the grandfather clock face that was stuck at 12:46 am and glided down the pendulum to the roman numerals stamped along the shaft and the sun emblem on the pendulum bob. Colt headed for the rolltop desk and started sliding open drawers. Step one was to inventory the room. She was scanning for number of books on the shelves, the balls of yarn pilled in the basket near the fireplace, and number of bricks on the fireplace surround and skirt. Anything could be a number for the locks.


    ¡°Two locked drawers,¡± he listed it off. ¡°One letter and one numeric combo lock.¡± This is what her partner was good at. Colt logged the locks and Lacey looked for the keys to them. ¡°Hidden safe access under the desk but that one has a key lock.¡±


    The bookcase held hundreds of books, all with titles that matched the old mansion¡¯s murder house theme. ¡°What color are the locks on the desk?¡± she asked, knowing that he would already be scanning everything on the desk.


    ¡°Red and gold,¡± Colt rattled off. ¡°The safe key should be silver though. Five numbers on the gold lock. Datebook is blank, with a single page torn out, but I used the date for the lock, and it was no good.¡±


    ¡°Decoy, but keep it in mind if we find another combo lock. Try four, six, five, nine, four on the numeric lock,¡± she told him excitedly.


    ¡°Why?¡± he asked, but he was sliding the number in even as he asked.


    ¡°The gold books in the bookcase,¡± Lacey answered automatically, already noting the number of each of the other colored books. ¡°There are four on the top shelf, six on the second.¡± There were also four pens, three tacks, and at least ten paperclips on the desk, but Colt would already have tried those numbers.


    ¡°It¡¯s open,¡± Colt shook his head. ¡°There¡¯s just a single word on a piece of paper. It just says ¡®Look.¡¯¡±


    ¡°How many letters on the other one?¡± she asked, skimming the titles on the red books on each shelf. It had to be an anagram as the letters didn¡¯t spell anything. If one lock was from the bookshelves, the other likely would be too. Creators liked that kind of symmetry.


    ¡°Seven¡± he answered her. ¡°So ¡®Look¡¯ can¡¯t be the answer to that one.¡±


    ¡°Try mockery?¡± Lacey told him, joking. It couldn¡¯t hurt their reputation to do a bit of mugging for the camera. It would be free publicity when the show aired, which wouldn¡¯t be until someone solved the room, which was today. They¡¯d be calling their new company Mockery Escapes.


    ¡°No dice,¡± he answered after a rattle of a still-locked combo. ¡°There¡¯s another lock on the raven¡¯s cage. Looks like it needs a key, Lacey.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, probably, but it¡¯s just a time drain,¡± she growled out. ¡°Look. Look. Look. Look at what?¡± Lacey scanned the room again. She gently knocked over the armchairs that were facing the fireplace, snatching up the rug. Nothing under the rug, but the rug had fourteen coils of roses along its border. The fireplace wasn¡¯t lit. It was gas and could be lit with a key, but that key wasn¡¯t under the rug nor was it taped to the underside of the chairs or the desk where Colt had been. ¡°See if that grandfather clock opens up,¡± she looked up into the fireplace and rattled the flue, then ran her hands over all of the stones. There was a music box on the mantle of a little bear holding a cross-stitched pillow with 43 stitches on it. Again, there was no key. That was four keys and a word to find in what was now closer to twelve minutes. Lacey could taste the prize money.


    ¡°Another key lock on the grandfather clock door,¡± Colt reported, tilting the very realistic and ancient-looking clock to the side to run his hands underneath it. ¡°No door on the back of the clock, but there¡¯s a sun emblem carved near the bottom with a blurred-out manufacturer¡¯s name.¡±Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work!


    ¡°I scanned the bookcase and counted the books but see if any of those knickknacks move or rattle while I check the mantle,¡± she pointed, and Colt nodded. He could move quickly when he wanted to.


    ¡°The books move,¡± Colt pulled each one out as quickly as not causing damage could do. When the room went public, they¡¯d fix that because people destroyed books in these rooms. Normally the books would have been mocked up or glued down to make cleanup faster. It was a nice touch for the cameras.


    ¡°It¡¯s just a time drain,¡± Lacey insisted until there was a click, and the fireplace roared to life. ¡°I stand corrected. Pull them all.¡± The gas key for the fireplace had been a decoy? Lacey was back to being impressed. The statue on the mantle rattled as she shook it, so she stuck her fingers up inside of it. She¡¯d have broken it, but there was a time penalty for breaking things. Another careful shake and the music box key dropped out. She quickly turned it in the bear¡¯s back to listen to the tune. ¡°Put lullaby in the letter lock.¡±


    Colt rushed back to the drawer and tried it to a satisfying click that Lacey lived for. ¡°Another piece of paper that says ¡®Up.¡¯¡±


    Like every escape room she¡¯d ever done, Lacey felt utterly stupid as she finally focused on the clues and looked up to the ceiling. There was the main puzzle, and she¡¯d lost four whole minutes figuring out that she needed to look up to find it. She would kick herself for it later. Now she had a cipher.


    It was a pretty advanced cipher wheel that turned on massive cranks around the central light fixture with its 5 lights. They quickly moved the 6 potted plants off of what was not just a decorative plant stand. The small step stool, once unburdened, then had to hold Colt¡¯s bulky form because Lacey was too short even on the top rung to reach the ceiling. It meant that Colt had to work the mechanism but that suited them fine as Lacey rattled off numbers for him to line up on the dials.


    It was easy going from there though. By decoding the roman numerals with the time from the grandfather clock, a key for the raven¡¯s cage dropped out on a string that had to be cut by a pair of scissors that were beneath an embroidery ring that said Home Sweet Home and was propped on a small, basket that had a false bottom that had been locked. By using the ceiling cipher wheel and entering the number of rug rings and the date on the newspaper at the bottom of the raven¡¯s cage, they got another key to the safe beneath the desk. Inside the safe, they found the key to wind the grandfather clock, but no key to the clock itself.


    ¡°We have two minutes, Lacey,¡± Colt fidgeted, and she bit her lip.


    ¡°What did I miss?¡± she scanned the room again, feeling the tick of the clock press against the back of her mind. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick. And each tick was bringing her closer to losing the prize of their own escape room business. It was maddening.


    ¡°The fire,¡± Colt pointed, and Lacey looked. The soot of the fire had blackened all but a single word against the back of the firebox. ¡°To Kill a Tomcat?¡±


    ¡°It was a book!¡± she shouted, nearly moaning at the fact that while she remembered the book and the fact that it had been on the bottom shelf, that didn¡¯t help as much as it could have. Colt had moved all the rest of the books which were then neatly stacked in the mess that he¡¯d made while finding the fireplace lighting mechanism. Messes were expected in the escape rooms, but they¡¯d been careful to not even over-ruffle a single page of those books. Colt was always gentle for all his bulk.


    They scrambled to the books and carefully scanned the covers and spines.


    ¡°What color was it?¡± Colt demanded.


    ¡°I think it was black with maybe red shiny lettering,¡± she answered, remembering it only because the lettering had been flickering like fire. She¡¯d thought it was a cool effect.


    ¡°Got it,¡± Colt held the book up and Lacey grabbed it fast enough to hear the very slight rattle. With a held breath, they opened it together to find the key.


    The key fit the grandfather clock, and Lacey opened it up with hands that wanted to shake, but didn¡¯t dare. Not daring to waste the time to check their time, she quickly used the winding key to wind the grandfather clock as Colt set the pendulum in motion. Then they stood watching it with bated breath as the hands of the grandfather clock began to move far too slowly.


    ¡°Maybe it has to chime?¡± she shrugged, feeling yet another opportunity slip through her fingers.


    Colt moved the minute hand up to twelve and the grandfather clock began to ring with the same Brahms lullaby that had echoed from the other side of the room as the music box came to life again. Lacey¡¯s heart leapt as she now had the time to look at her watch. They¡¯d done it. They¡¯d done it in time. For a few pregnant seconds, they stood there waiting for something to happen as the grandfather clock gave a final bong.


    ¡°Did we do it?¡± Colt whispered as if he was afraid to jinx it.


    Trumpets blared. Confetti burst from the 17 ¡°hidden¡± holes in the ceiling.


    Lacey threw her arms around Colt and nearly squealed, ¡°With a half a minute and some change to spare buddy!¡±


    The music faded away to an odd silence just before the lights went out. Colt gripped Lacey in a bear hug that made her give an audible squeak, but he knew she wasn¡¯t really hurt. They¡¯d never been right for each other romantically, but Colt and Lacey had been friends since high school. And since high school, they¡¯d been working on this dream. It had taken them ten years of working up to it, including nagging their parents for escape room tickets all the time. They¡¯d worked fast food mostly lately, rooming together in a shitty apartment, and spent all their money on every escape room they could afford. Two years ago, when the reality TV craze had extended into escape room competitions, they¡¯d been the underdog team that had broken records. This was the first competition that was going to be televised nationally. It had been invite-only. And it had a cash prize that¡­


    The lights went out, but they weren¡¯t worried yet. Colt was still whooping into her ear.

 Chapter 2 - It’s Listening

    Colt and Lacey were just congratulating each other enthusiastically as they waited patiently for whoever was going to turn the lights back on. They had no doubt that someone would get to it eventually and no fear of the dark. They were a little too caught in the dreams of the future to worry about a little darkness.


    ¡°Our first room is going to be the dungeon crawler one, right?¡± Colt was gushing as Lacey clung to his large frame, bouncing on the balls of her feet with unrestrained excitement that she rarely allowed herself to feel.


    ¡°Seven Deadly Sins!¡± Lacey poked her finger into Colt¡¯s face. ¡°You promised!¡±


    ¡°Okay, okay,¡± he laughed, his tone teasing. ¡°We¡¯ll do the cabin in the woods.¡±


    ¡°Blasphemy!¡± she growled back at him good-naturedly. The cabin in the woods theme was so clich¨¦, even Colt wouldn¡¯t do it first.


    ¡°Just to get our feet wet,¡± he played with her, but she laughed.


    ¡°Seven Deadly Sins and then the Stairway to Heaven,¡± she kept a grip on his shirt even as she stepped out of his hug.


    ¡°You¡¯ll have them branding us the religious nuts,¡± he argued in the same way he always did about the themes than ran rampant in her head.


    ¡°We can only have three rooms to start with,¡± Lacey nodded as her head went off to contemplate what they¡¯d already over-planned. ¡°It¡¯s all the budget will afford.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d do a hundred rooms if we could,¡± Colt sighed out, resting his heavy arm on Lacey¡¯s shoulder even as she let her feet flatten on the floor for the first time since the music stopped.


    ¡°Three,¡± she insisted. She was the frugal one, the one who reined in his enthusiasm and imagination.


    ¡°To start,¡± he insisted right back in the way they always did. Lacey didn¡¯t know why she hadn¡¯t let go of him, just like she didn¡¯t know why she was starting to feel uneasy.


    ¡°Lace¡­¡± came Colt¡¯s voice and Lacey realized that she wasn¡¯t the only one feeling it. She didn¡¯t let go of his shirt. He reached up for her hand and they held onto each other, also just as they always did when things were tight. Like they had the night after her dad had kicked her out, clinging to each other in the dark as they¡¯d sneaked into her old house for something she¡¯d forgotten.


    ¡°Is there a problem, guys?¡± Lacey called out into the darkness, tightening her hand on Colt¡¯s. ¡°We don¡¯t have a breakage debate, do we?¡±


    ¡°Maybe they¡¯re going over the tapes?¡± she could feel Colt shrug. Of course, her imagination was sliding into the paranoia of every horror movie about escape or murder rooms that she¡¯d dragged Colt to see. Sure, the invitation had looked authentic, but wouldn¡¯t it? Colt was probably expecting someone to come out and apologize for technical difficulties at any moment, but Lacey was getting the feeling that there wasn¡¯t anyone out there.


    ¡°Can¡¯t we do this in the light, folks?¡± Lacey called out again, her voice not as sure as her last demand. ¡°This is getting a little creepy.¡±


    Their eyes were adjusting to the darkness. The problem with that was that it didn¡¯t look like the murder house study escape room they¡¯d just finished and that didn¡¯t make sense. They hadn¡¯t moved. Lacey hadn¡¯t felt like they¡¯d been moved on some platform or something. Could they do that? If so, Lacey wanted to do that in their rooms.


    ¡°Uh, Lacey,¡± Colt broke the silence with words, probably as much to reassure himself that Lacey was still there as to say anything important.


    ¡°I¡¯m here,¡± Lacey answered, squeezing his hand.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think we¡¯re in Kansas anymore,¡± he stated, trying for levity.


    Lacey sighed. ¡°I didn¡¯t feel anything move, did you?¡±


    ¡°Maybe they moved the room away?¡± Colt suggested, though that was pretty extreme. Then again, it was a sizable prize.


    ¡°Could it be a bonus level?¡± she asked.


    ¡°Maybe,¡± he answered, and Lacey grabbed at the notion like it could save them from her imagination.


    Something began to glow and, with their eyes already attuned to the darkness, the dim glow was enough to illuminate a larger area that was NOT the room they¡¯d just left. It was like some guy was raising the lights in the middle of a stage, only the illumination was so slow that they hadn¡¯t noticed the start of it, even in the pitch black. If her eyes were to be believed, they were in a cave and that was enough to make her heartrate kick up and sound like a snare drum in the silence. Lacey reassured herself that if she couldn¡¯t hear Colt¡¯s heart, he couldn¡¯t hear hers. They stood there like a couple of girls in a horror flick, clutching hands and parts of each other¡¯s shirts.


    The glow in the center of the ¡°cave¡± was like someone had underlit a four-foot-high pedestal with a tablet on it. The tablet portion was facing away from them, the light blue glow lighting up some primitive cave walls. Without conversation, Lacey led the shuffle toward the pedestal, their sneakers sliding loudly on the grit beneath their feet. The floor was smooth, but almost dusty with grit. The sound of her feet was swallowed by the scuffle of Colt¡¯s right behind her. He dragged his feet, something he¡¯d taught himself in a household of brothers and sisters who had liked to torment the youngest. He¡¯d taken to shuffling across carpet to build up static electricity so that when they touched him, they were shocked. He had that kind of introverted intelligence that had drawn her to him as a freshman at a new school in a new town.


    It was so much easier to think of normal stuff than the cave around them. Lacey was an only child, and a boisterous foil to Colt¡¯s quietness, but in his household, Lacey was his shield against the chaos. She was so engaging with his family that he could sit back and watch. She was often distracting anyone who wanted to pull him in. Just as his house had been her entertainment, her house had been his solitude. They would lounge around in the silence reading books or playing video games. Lacey was really hoping that tablet was glowing with a bonus room kind of video game.


    Her parents were never home, workaholics who insisted that she should be grateful for the food on the table and clothes in her closet whenever she¡¯d asked for their time or attention. After the divorce, Lacey¡¯s dad¡¯s workaholic tendencies took over completely in this new town and new start, which was code for a whole new group of younger women that her mom hadn¡¯t poisoned against him. He didn¡¯t even come home at night. That had been okay because that way he didn¡¯t notice how often Colt stayed a little too late. So, as Lacey and Colt walked toward this pedestal, his bulk was the silence behind her, and she was his willing shield.


    ¡°It¡¯s a game console, I think,¡± Colt explained as he was looking over Lacey¡¯s shoulder. That was really easy considering that her pathetic five foot two barely reached his collarbone. Being so easy to overlook, Lacey tended to overcompensate with over-boisterousness, not that she was showing that now.


    ¡°Room¡¯s about thirty feet in diameter,¡± Colt fell into his role on the team, and Lacey tried to do hers, not that there was much to count except 1 spooky pedestal in the middle of 1 empty cave. The pedestal was rimmed with what looked like a rune cipher, only they looked incredibly like runes. Lacey, having found something to obsess on, took a closer look. She and Colt had very detailed plans for a Druid Circle escape room, so she¡¯d studied some runes. She ran her finger along the rim and shaft of the pedestal. They were carved into the rough stone.The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°Celtic runes,¡± she whispered, kneeling at the base and scanning the underneath of the pedestal. ¡°Full set of 24 Elder Futhark runes repeated 4 times around the pedestal lip and another 7 times along the base. There are some other runes along here, but I don¡¯t recognize them.¡±


    ¡°The game console is in Celtic runes too,¡± Colt reached a hand out to the screen that seemed built into the pedestal. They might have let go of each other, but they stayed within easy-grasping distance as they assessed their surroundings.


    ¡°Maybe it¡¯s an advertising teaser for a new video game version of escape rooms?¡± Colt suggested and Lacey rolled her eyes.


    ¡°And maybe my dad set the whole thing up to repay me for all the pain and trauma he caused us in my youth,¡± Lacey scoffed, to which Colt frowned. He might have still been hopeful, but Lacey was the pragmatic one and didn¡¯t delude herself. The rock was too solid, the pedestal looking like it had grown up out of the smooth ground.


    ¡°Alien interference is more likely than that,¡± Colt blew out a breath and tried to see if there was room to pry the little tablet off of the pedestal. There had been dozens of times in high school when her boisterousness resulted in a bloodied nose for him. He wasn¡¯t the biggest guy out there, but he stood between her and them every time. Of course, she didn¡¯t hide. She kicked shins in little sneak attacks that were often more effective than Colt¡¯s gentle giant act.


    ¡°Inguz,¡± Lacey said, pointing to the single rune in the middle of the screen. ¡°If that¡¯s a Celtic rune like the ones on the pedestal, then it¡¯s Inguz. It can stand for Home or Goals or Growth depending on the placement in a rune reading.¡±


    ¡°Like a home screen?¡± Colt asked, and he was back to hopeful.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think the Celts would have used it that way since they didn¡¯t have electronics that I know of,¡± Lacey answered a little glibly.


    Colt¡¯s lip quirked a bit at that. ¡°If aliens could have built the pyramids, then maybe Celts had technology.¡±


    Lacey just shook her head at him, but it wasn¡¯t as hard to deal with the situation when she could think of it like a bonus level. She blew out a breath through pursed lips. She let herself ignore the real feel of the stone floor, the weight of solid rock above them, and the fact that she¡¯d pinched herself already to see if she was dreaming.


    ¡°The runes around the base are all the basic runes with some bind runes in there too. Inguz,¡± Lacey searched her memory. ¡°It¡¯s represented by a seed. I remember because I was going to carve the rune into the center of a walnut shell.¡±


    ¡°I still think that clue is too hard for normal folk,¡± Colt touched the rune on the screen and a list of four new runes popped up.


    ¡°Probably,¡± Lacey admitted reluctantly, scanning the list of runes. ¡°But I was willing to rate the room at extreme difficulty.¡±


    Colt shrugged at her as she scanned the runes for something she could make sense of. The title of the page was a simple X. If it hadn¡¯t been for the runes around the pedestal, she might have mistaken the runes for regular symbols. Below the X, which would stand for Gebo or the Gift, were a list of Uruz (looking like an outhouse with a slanting roof), Kennaz (a greater than sign), Ansuz (like half a rudimentary pine tree), and Nauthiz (a simple t shape with the crossbeam crooked), each with the rune Perthro (like a crooked table on its side) for chance next to it. Degaz (a sideways hourglass) blinked slowly at the bottom of the page.


    ¡°These could mean close to anything,¡± Lacey complained, her fingers fluttering over the letters indecisively.


    ¡°Take your best guess,¡± Colt shrugged, only ever practical when Lacey got flustered. ¡°Start with the one that¡¯s repeated.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, maybe game or chance,¡± Lacey sputtered out. ¡°In my notes, it had a picture of a dice cup next to it, but all this stuff was used for divination more than communication. People have their own interpretations of them.¡±


    ¡°Here goes nothing,¡± he shrugged and tapped the chance rune next to the top rune.


    Lacey flinched, but nothing really changed much. The chance rune was replaced by another symbol that Lacey had never seen before. Colt went ahead and pressed it on each one of the four listed runes and got a different result each time, none of which Lacey knew. When he¡¯d touched all the chance runes, the sideways hourglass at the bottom of the page blinked slowly. Colt touched it too, but that made the page change so that it looked like what could be another sideways hourglass only this time, it had legs or flagpoles depending on how you looked at it. The rune was in the center of the screen with four filled in circles at the cardinal points of a compass around it.


    The light got a little brighter in the cave, so Lacey looked up and nearly jumped high enough to perch on Colt¡¯s shoulders. They were suddenly surrounded by blue-outlined images of glowing things. There were four in total. Colt did his gentle giant tree impression while Lacey squeezed herself between him and the pedestal, but the monsters didn¡¯t move. When she looked closer, she could make out that they were just projections. The one behind Colt was shorter than Lacey, green-skinned, had sharp-looking teeth, long limbs and wore a loincloth. The other three flickering projections consisted of a sickly worm, a beetle of some type, and what looked like it might be a bat with overly large feet.


    Colt hit the rune in the center of the screen and Lacey jumped as a voice came from what could only be a speaker nearby, not that she could see it.


    ¡°What?¡± Lacey called out, but nothing happened so Colt hit the rune again to try to repeat it.


    It said something different this time in some guttural language that they again couldn¡¯t understand. Four more tries and they realized that it was maybe changing languages each time. Colt kept touching the rune until it finally spat out something that sounded close to what they could understand.


    ¡°Choose race,¡± it said, and Lacey stood there with her mouth hanging open.


    ¡°Whose race?¡± Colt asked out loud, not expecting an answer. ¡°My race? Her race?¡±


    ¡°A foot race?¡± Lacey suggested, trying to find humor in it even as Colt glared in a way she knew he didn¡¯t mean.


    ¡°Language detected,¡± the voice said. ¡°Do you wish to set this as the default language?¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡± Colt answered quickly, giving Lacey a shrug that she returned.


    ¡°Language filters saved,¡± the voice said, and it seemed to have a slightly Irish or Scottish lilt to it.


    ¡°Great!¡± Colt told it. ¡°Now can you explain what we¡¯re doing here?¡±


    It didn¡¯t say anything in response, so Colt hit the rune on the tablet again.


    ¡°Choose race,¡± it repeated.


    Colt and Lacey looked at each other in that way that only people who have lived together for years can do. They had a conversation about how idiotic the voice was and what they were going to do about it. All of which ended in a double shrug.


    ¡°If it¡¯s our race, I don¡¯t want to be a worm,¡± Lacey pointed at the monster behind Colt who frowned and nodded. During their silent discourse, she¡¯d noticed that the circles coincided with the positions of the monsters around them, so she was figuring that the circles were the buttons to choose from. ¡°I wonder what we changed on the previous page,¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not like there¡¯s a back button,¡± Colt waved his hand over the screen in frustration. ¡°At least with the goblin-looking one we¡¯ll be able to talk.¡±


    ¡°What if we don¡¯t choose at all?¡± she posited, trying not to think of what she¡¯d look like as a female version of what could only be a goblin.


    ¡°Choose race,¡± the voice intoned, saying something for the first time without Colt having to hit the button.


    ¡°It¡¯s listening,¡± Lacey whispered to Colt.


    ¡°I know,¡± Colt whispered back.


    ¡°What now?¡± she hissed.


    ¡°Choose race,¡± the voice whispered between them, causing them to jump apart like a pair of kids caught doing something naughty.


    ¡°Of what!?¡± Lacey demanded of the disembodied voice that was not nearly as helpful as it should have been.


    That, it didn¡¯t answer.


    Lacey would have stood there at the stalemate for a good long while. She had the stubborn streak. Colt took the choice out of her hands and chose the goblin. Lacey jumped to intercept, but secretly, she was glad he¡¯d made the decision she couldn¡¯t have made. She didn¡¯t want to be an ugly old goblin.


    The worm, beetle, and bat projections disappeared as the goblin became less transparent in a slightly alarming way. Neither Lacey nor Colt had thought that it would be the race of something they might have to face in person until the goblin was almost fully formed. They only had a moment to regret their decision.


    As Lacey¡¯s eyes widened in dismay, the goblin became more detailed and realistic, down to a line of drool that slowly dribbled out of the thing¡¯s mouth to plop disgustingly on the dusty stone floor. Lacey was caught staring into its beady little red eyes, but thankfully Colt was more pragmatic as he darted his gaze around the room for anything to use as a weapon or defense against those long, pointed teeth; teeth that filled a mouth that broke into a disconcerting smile as it cocked its head to the side eerily.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think this is a bonus level,¡± Colt broke the silence.


    Lacey¡¯s only reply was a very loud gulp and a heartbeat she was sure was loud enough to fill the cave.


    ¡°Greetings masters,¡± the goblin said around a tongue that shouldn¡¯t have been able to form the words.

 Chapter 3 - The Mini-Gods?

    The s-sound slithered out of its mouth as its long slender tongue found a slot between its teeth to hang out like a dog, dripping. Colt recovered before Lacey did. That isn¡¯t to say that either of them recovered quickly. The goblin stood in front of them, panting and drooling with a gaze as adoring as any almost-mindless hound dog, if the hound dog had red eyes and a face full of more needle-sharp teeth than anything else.


    ¡°The screen changed,¡± Colt pointed out, though Lacey didn¡¯t see how that was important or how he¡¯d noticed since they were both staring at the goblin, waiting for it to do something. It didn¡¯t do anything but grin at them expectantly. The screen did have runes on it again, Lacey noticed, taking only a millisecond to glance down at it.


    ¡°So much for the language settings.¡± Lacey darted a glance at the screen, determined to keep an eye on the goblin like it was a Weeping Angel. She didn¡¯t have anything on her to fight the darn thing if it suddenly decided to attack them, but that didn¡¯t penetrate her frozen brain.


    ¡°You¡¯d think the language change would be applied globally,¡± Colt frowned at the screen as Lacey boggled at the idea that he could take his gaze off of the dangerous monster in front of them.


    ¡°Guess not,¡± Lacey said, still peering around Colt at the goblin. She tried to reason with her brain to do more than shut down. It didn¡¯t work right away.


    ¡°I¡¯ll keep an eye on our friend here and you figure out the runes on the screen,¡± Colt urged her.


    ¡°While I appreciate your confidence in my abilities, buddy, this is way out of my league,¡± Lacey grumbled, letting her gaze slide over a screen full of symbols that made her head spin.


    ¡°Just start punching buttons and see what the translator says,¡± Colt suggested. ¡°Like I did. Only you do it this time so you can¡¯t complain about my choices.¡±


    ¡°What you did made a drooling monster appear in our midst,¡± Lacey argued, finally looking away from the goblin to glare up at a grinningly unrepentant Colt.


    ¡°So do better?¡± he suggested to her with a smirk.


    Lacey stuck her tongue out at him, then thought better of it as the goblin thing giggled, which was a very disconcerting sound.


    ¡°Fine,¡± she huffed out, having gotten bored with the goblin now that it hadn¡¯t really done much.


    When she looked down at the screen, she was back at the Inguz screen, which she figured was home, but there were four new symbols beneath the home button. If she thought of it as a kiosk, it was easier to think about how it worked. The problem was that when she pushed a button, it took her to another screen instead of explaining what the rune meant so she wasn¡¯t getting a good feel for what she was doing at all, even as she focused all her puzzle-solving talents on it. Lacey pushed one that looked like a B only with sharp corners and got to the same screen Colt had found when he¡¯d been hitting the chance runes. Once she got to that screen, she could push a few of the non-chance runes.


    ¡°Strength,¡± the pedestal¡¯s voice explained when Lacey pressed the rune next to the first chance rune. ¡°This stat determines your minion¡¯s physical ability.¡±


    ¡°You got it to explain stuff?¡± Colt asked, from behind her.


    ¡°Maybe,¡± Lacey answered, not comfortable with how Colt was inching toward the drooling goblin.


    ¡°Creativity,¡± the voice explained the next rune on the list. ¡°This stat determines your minion¡¯s ability to adapt to situations in your dungeon.¡±


    ¡°Your dungeon?¡± Lacey muttered.


    ¡°Is it a character sheet?¡± Colt offered up, having turned to glance over his shoulder.


    ¡°If so, it¡¯s not our stats it''s listing,¡± Lacey replied, sliding a suspicious glance at the goblin who still hadn¡¯t moved. She was pretty sure it was luring them into a false sense of security, but that was probably silly. She hoped that was silly. Maybe not as silly as aliens.


    ¡°Charm,¡± the voice told them as she hit the next rune down, the one she¡¯d thought was Ansuz. ¡°This stat determines your minion¡¯s ability to lead or simply communicate effectively.¡±


    ¡°Will,¡± the voice gave them the last stat on the lefthand list of the page. ¡°This stat determines your minion¡¯s mental capacity and determination to survive.¡±


    ¡°It is like a character sheet,¡± Colt said, turning from the kiosk to approach the goblin they¡¯d already made.


    ¡°This screen still has the chance rune next to all the stats,¡± Lacey kept her attention on the device, letting Colt study the goblin. ¡°So, it probably isn¡¯t this guy¡¯s stats.¡±


    ¡°Still, it keeps saying minion, so he¡¯s probably not dangerous to us,¡± Colt circled the goblin, causing it to fidget a bit and try to stand up straight.


    ¡°I¡¯ve seen the movie and I wouldn¡¯t call any minion harmless,¡± Lacey quipped, starting to relax into the puzzle of it all. ¡°And why would something be giving us minions at all?¡± She was still more worried than curious.


    Lacey pressed the first chance button next to strength and then touched the resulting symbol that she hadn¡¯t had any clue about before. It looked a little like a twig?


    ¡°Four,¡± the voice said. It wasn¡¯t nearly as helpful as she¡¯d hoped.


    ¡°Four what?¡± Colt asked, too excited for Lacey¡¯s comfort.


    ¡°The strength stat,¡± she explained, and Colt gave her a look that said he mirrored her unspoken opinion that it was pretty unhelpful.


    Lacey rolled the rest of the stats and hit their numbers. They were all pretty low, with Will being the highest in this set. As soon as all the numbers were ¡°rolled,¡± another stat at the bottom of the page filled in as well as the one next to it. When she hit the runes for the stats, it told them they were Defense and Health, both being determined by some mathematical computation that was calculated using the stats she¡¯d just rolled.


    ¡°It is a character sheet.¡± Colt was looking over her shoulder again. ¡°Hit the bottom rune.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s Degas for awakening, so I suppose that makes sense,¡± Lacey said and did as Colt suggested. It again brought them to the race selection screen. Lacey chose another goblin, and the current goblin moved over a little bit to make room for another one that looked similar, but not quite the same. This one had what she could only think were boobs, but they were like saggy, deflated balloons that were barely covered by what could only be called a fur bikini. The goblin next to her didn¡¯t seem to find the deflated balloons a deterrent and stared at their newest minion like she was a super model, the drool increasing to alarming levels.


    ¡°Great,¡± Lacey shrugged as Colt stared at the two goblins in fascination. ¡°We have Adam and Eve of the goblin tribe of minions. Now what?¡±


    ¡°What else can we make?¡± Colt asked by way of suggestion that didn¡¯t make Lacey feel more comfortable about any of it. It all felt a bit reckless without purpose. You didn¡¯t start putting the puzzle together without knowing what the result could look like. That¡¯s why escape rooms were as much about having done a lot of them as being brilliant. Lacey didn¡¯t consider herself brilliant, just experienced at how escape-game-creators used the puzzles everyone else used.The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.


    ¡°But what are we making it for?¡± Lacey asked, frustrated by the lack of information.


    ¡°Fine,¡± Colt looked disappointed, and Lacey felt like she¡¯d kicked the dog. ¡°Look in some of the other screens then. More puzzle pieces will get us closer to an overall picture.¡±


    The main screen was back up and Lacey tried another choice behind the Fehu symbol that she thought was something about wealth. After some fussing and rune pressing for explanations, they figured out that it was something of a spreadsheet showing their resources. It would have been so much clearer if the numbers had been anything she¡¯d ever seen before. Lacey would have felt lucky to see a few roman numerals, but no, these symbols for numbers were so convoluted, she didn¡¯t see the pattern of them yet other than that the higher the number was, the more spokes and symbols it had off the main shaft. It was a good thing that the voice clarified the numbers, or she wouldn¡¯t have known how much they had or what everything was costing. The Gebo or gift rune had been very misleading in that it meant what they could buy more than what they were gifted with. So far, each of their goblins had cost about 200 of something out of a budget that looked surprisingly like the amount they should have won from the escape room contest.


    Exploring, Lacey found that the third symbol took her into a store of some kind for basic supplies. This one had pictures and that helped a lot. She learned that pinching and expanding worked like zooming just like their phones had and sliding up and down did the scrolling thing. She didn¡¯t want to spend all their money on stuff that they didn¡¯t really need, so she left it. The store screen made her think of supplies though. What would they need?


    It might have been nice to have their phones from home, but no one was allowed to take their phones into the escape rooms. Anything electronic had been left at the door, including her car keys with their electronic file and all their money and maxed out credit cards. They¡¯d hydrated right before entering the escape room, but they hadn¡¯t brought snacks or water because they¡¯d been focused on winning, not snacking. All they really had was the change in their pockets and the clothes on their backs. Lacey¡¯s mind wasn¡¯t really thinking about how long they¡¯d be in there, but that store with the cost of things like rations and simple resources like picks and buckets made something nervous in the back of her mind throb in a way she tried to ignore. It was easier to think of this as a bonus room than dwell on dinner, and she trusted that Colt, the inventory-master on their team, was keeping track of what they had to work with.


    The fourth symbol was one Lacey didn¡¯t recognize, but it could have been a combination of Inguz and Kennaz. The oh-so-helpful voice didn¡¯t explain a rune when it represented a button of some sort. The weird rune took her into what looked more like a map of their 30¡¯ cave at the center of a very large blank space. There were some choices on the side with price tags next to them. At least the symbols looked like the same numbering system she¡¯d seen on previous pages and numbers were generally safe to touch for explanations. Then again, she thought as she touched one and accidently made a new room for about 500 of what Lacey wanted to think of as credits. She didn¡¯t want to think that she was spending all her real prize money in this stupid bonus room, so she renamed the currency credits. A short ¡°hallway¡± appeared between the current cave and the new smaller room.


    ¡°You created an exit?¡± Colt asked with some excitement.


    ¡°I was trying to get an explanation of what I could create but it just purchased it,¡± Lacey rolled her eyes at the display and threw up her hands. ¡°I think it leads to a new room. I¡¯ve got a map type thing here, but right now that¡¯s the only way out of this room.¡±


    The goblins gibbered at each other and rushed down the new corridor of stone holding hands, Colt and Lacey close behind them. Lacey had a moment of worry as she passed into the tunnel. What if the control room closed off once they went down the corridor? There wasn¡¯t a door, so Lacey took the chance and followed after Colt, the fear of being alone higher than her fear of losing the pedestal. It didn¡¯t disappear as she stepped over the threshold, so she tried to relax and go with it. The new room was dimly lit by two inadequate torches that didn¡¯t look like they¡¯d last long, and this room was as unremarkable as their main room. The floor was bare stone, but smooth and flat. The walls were rough stone as if the room had been chipped out of the surrounding mountain and only the floor had been smoothed down by some giant sander and buffer.


    Girl goblin gibbered at boy goblin, running her clawed hands over the walls like she was measuring for wallpaper. Boy goblin¡¯s brows furrowed, and he used his claws to pick at the wall a bit. Colt and Lacey stood like guests at a housewarming party who hadn¡¯t brought any gifts. Boy goblin chipped off pieces of the wall in certain sections and bit the result, making Colt cringe. Boy goblin ran up to Colt to show him the rock proudly.


    ¡°It looks like it might be coal,¡± Colt said, chipping off little pieces of the brittle, black stone. ¡°It¡¯s not good coal, but it¡¯s something.¡±


    ¡°Like a resource?¡± Lacey considered out loud, thinking about the kiosk and how much everything was costing. They could have started their business on the reward money, but it wasn¡¯t millions. They would need some income coming in.


    ¡°What are we doing here?¡± Colt asked in reply to her non-question. ¡°We¡¯ve got minions, a control panel, and resources.¡±


    ¡°And our prize money seems to have been converted into whatever counts as currency in this system,¡± she added her own supposition.


    ¡°System,¡± Colt mused, looking around at the goblins as they plucked eagerly at the walls with their bare claws and hands.


    ¡°Like a system system?¡± Lacey asked, not finding the words to explain. ¡°Like in the books we read online?¡±


    ¡°Like the stuff Cameron writes,¡± Colt suggested. ¡°LitRPG?¡±


    ¡°That stuff is just fan fic, isn¡¯t it?¡± Lacey protested, her mind slower than she wanted it to be.


    ¡°Only the stuff you read,¡± Colt teased her, rolling the coal so that it smudged his fingers.


    ¡°But in that stuff people get turned into players in like a live video game,¡± Lacey ruminated on it, and it made way too much sense. Then she made a mental appointment with a psychiatrist because that was what made sense about all this. ¡°And you like some of the fan fic too.¡±


    Girl goblin ran over to Lacey with another chunk of coal. It made her think of chalk. Lacey knelt on the floor and rubbed it against the smooth floor, making marks as the girl goblin watched curiously. It didn¡¯t draw as well as it might once burned a bit, so Lacey took it to the nearest torch and burned the end of it. She blew on the coal to make it go out, almost regretting the smoke it caused that didn¡¯t go anywhere, and tried again to write on the floor, girl goblin watching her the whole time. Lacey scratched out a few lines on the ground and the goblin girl suddenly got excited and plucked the coal back out of Lacey¡¯s hand. Before Lacey could protest, the girl goblin was drawing lines on the ground and gesturing at the boy goblin imperiously. Boy goblin rolled his eyes behind girl goblin¡¯s back as she flew to scratch out some more lines and he went back to picking stuff out of the wall with his claws.


    ¡°Are you really thinking that we¡¯ve been sucked into an alternate universe where we are players in a video game?¡± Lacey asked Colt, not liking how reasonable that sounded when it should be anything but reasonable to a sane person.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think we¡¯re players,¡± Colt shook his head as they watched the goblins.


    ¡°What else is there?¡± Lacey asked, not sure she wanted the answer. Colt read a lot more than she did. Lacey played puzzles on her phone while he read on his. Those were their cherished quiet times together.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure, but what if we¡¯re creators of some sort?¡± Colt suggested as if that was okay with him.


    Girl goblin¡¯s coal crumbled off at the burned area and she shook it like she was scolding it for not working well anymore.


    ¡°Creators?¡±


    ¡°I mean, sure,¡± he reasoned like they were talking about hypothetical stuff. ¡°Why go to the trouble of finding people really good at escape rooms? What skills would people like that have?¡±


    ¡°Puzzles,¡± Lacey answered, numbly trying to take it in.


    Girl goblin pouted at her piece of coal like it had failed her. With a desperate whimper, she brought the coal back to Lacey and held it out with an expression that could only be pleading, if you can imagine red beady eyes pleading for anything.


    ¡°It¡¯s no secret that we were going to make our own escape rooms.¡± Colt tossed his coal up and caught it in his meaty hand like he was flipping cheesesteak and onions at Dirt Dog. ¡°It¡¯s all over our social media with Patreon and Kickstarter.¡±


    Lacey took the goblin girl¡¯s coal back to the torch and burned a bit of it again, handing it back to a grinning girl goblin who went back to drawing where she¡¯d be placing furniture in their den. Calling their stuff social media was like saying that a kick scooter was a vehicle. They had two patrons and $20 on their Kickstarter and they had put that in themselves just to seed the investment with something. Neither of them had ever made friends easily and those they did make were quickly discouraged by how tight Colt and Lacey were. It was hard to penetrate their bond. Boyfriends and girlfriends came and went, but a lot of them also had issues with the closeness of their team. The others had just been crazy.


    ¡°So, we¡¯re what here?¡± Lacey asked Colt with raised eyebrows. ¡°Gods?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± Colt chuckled and took another piece of coal from boy goblin.


    ¡°I can see it now,¡± Lacey joked, swinging an arm out wide. ¡°Our newest social media title! The Mini-Gods of the two-room dungeon!¡±

 Chapter 4 - If You Give a Goblin a Lump of Coal

    ¡°I¡¯m not saying Gods of any kind,¡± Colt held up his hands with a gentle laugh that calmed Lacey¡¯s nerves in the way that only he could. ¡°That¡¯s a bit too blasphemous for me, but maybe dungeon masters?¡±


    ¡°Like in DnD?¡± Lacey mused. ¡°Wouldn¡¯t we have to be players first? Wouldn¡¯t there have to be players?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re not just players,¡± Colt chided her with a grin, giving a wave to the goblins, who were ignoring them now. Colt took Lacey¡¯s elbow to steer her back out of the goblin¡¯s room of coal. ¡°We¡¯re content creators!¡±


    Lacey recognized this side of Colt. She¡¯d have been content to work fast food and eat junk food forever in their little shitty apartment, but Colt had dreams. He dreamed of owning their own escape rooms. He dreamed of being respected and having a good house and this Colt was like the Pied Piper to Lacey. When Colt had dreams, Lacey couldn¡¯t help but try to follow along and dream big right along with him.


    ¡°What if this is our chance to make a world?¡± He steered her back to the pedestal in the original room and waved a hand over it like it was some magician¡¯s hat. ¡°What¡¯s in that kiosk store you found that could empower our little friends out there to become little minions of industry?¡±


    ¡°You act like this is more than a shared delusion,¡± Lacey protested weakly, easily navigating to the store screen and then stalling as she wondered what she was doing.


    ¡°There¡¯s got to be a way to sell the coal we have,¡± Colt ignored her comment as he scanned the pedestal for someplace to insert his little lumps of coal. ¡°Order something like a mining pick. They can¡¯t be too expensive. Maybe when one comes out, it¡¯ll take the coal back in.¡±


    It wasn¡¯t like Lacey was going to deny Colt when he was in this mood. She pasted on a wry smile, but underneath she was just as excited. She scrolled around the meager supplies at the store for equipment that did include a simple mining pick. At least this was the easiest screen with all its pictures of the equipment for sale. The mining pick shimmered into existence and hung suspended over the top of the pedestal until Colt reached out to take it. With a quick move, Colt dropped the coal where the mining pick had been.


    ¡°Colt!!¡± she snapped out, lunging for the lump of coal before it hit and somehow broke their little screen. Lacey¡¯s fingers brushed the edge of the coal, but she wasn¡¯t fast enough to stop it from plunging toward the screen. Within two inches of the screen, the coal was swallowed up by something invisible that made her draw her hand back like it too would be eaten by screen.


    ¡°You worry too much,¡± Colt teased her with a clap on her shoulder that was familiar enough to make her shake her head at herself.


    ¡°You don¡¯t worry enough,¡± Lacey swiped the air near his shoulder with a mock anger they both knew was nothing more than a token protest.


    That little trick triggered a new screen that accepted the sale of their meager little piece of coal. Lacey accepted the sale, and Colt dropped the other one in too. The coal looked like it was sold by quality and weight. It wasn¡¯t much, but enough coal might earn back their investment in the mining pick.


    ¡°We should get a pail too, so we have something to store it in,¡± Colt suggested, brushing the coal dust off his hands and onto his jeans.


    ¡°Great, we can start with a mining operation and be Mini-Gods of the five-room dungeon in no time,¡± Lacey mumbled with a smirk.


    ¡°If the goblins can be miners, I wonder what the other races could do?¡± Colt left the idea with her as he rushed the new pick and pail to their goblin minions.


    Figuring they didn¡¯t have much to lose with the enterprise, Lacey made three more rooms and a pair of each of the remaining minions. She let Colt take the worms, beetles, and bats to their new homes as she looked at room upgrades and decided they could treat their new minions to some comforts for their efforts. For the worms, she chose a glowing moss update. For the bats, she added a roost, and a loam wall for the beetles. She didn¡¯t know what the bats were for, but the worms got busy eating the moss and taking on the glowing characteristic and the beetles dug into the soft wall to create whatever beetles created. As she built the rooms, she tried to get them close enough to each other so that little tunnels connected them in a sort of line that headed toward the surface. What good would it do to have rooms of stuff if they had to come traipsing through the control room to travel between them. She also chose the upgrades for doors on all the rooms, not wanting the beetles to come eat her in her sleep. The goblins had no trouble propping their doors open so they could come and go from the control room at will.


    For the goblins, she gave the girl goblin a pile of furs for a bed and a small fire circle that had a small pot over it for cooking, not that Lacey knew what the industrious goblins would cook or eat in this place. That said, she didn¡¯t know what she and Colt would do for that either.


    ¡°Eve went crazy over the pile of furs and cooking fire,¡± Colt came in to tell her, a full bucket of coal in his hand, which only put a tiny dent in the investment they¡¯d made.


    Lacey could tell that Colt was just throwing himself into the whole experience and she wondered briefly why until she noted the tension around his eyes. He might be putting on a good front, but he was worried. She knew him well enough to know he wasn¡¯t as go-with-the-flow as he acted when he was nervous. She told herself to be patient. She didn¡¯t like telling herself to be patient, but at least they were in it together, and he made patience easier, especially when he was smiling like a kid at Christmas. Even if that smile was covering the same worries that Lacey was more open about.


    ¡°Eve?¡± Lacey arched an eyebrow at him.


    ¡°You named them,¡± he gave her an innocent look that also somehow blamed her for it. ¡°You said they were our Adam and Eve.¡±


    ¡°Whatever,¡± she ducked her head to hide her smile.


    ¡°Eve is already harassing Adam to carve out some sleeping alcoves for her with that new pick of his,¡± Colt told Lacey, his tone affectionate.


    Back in high school, when Lacey and Colt were the only company each other had most of the time, they¡¯d fallen prey to their hormones and tried to be the couple everyone assumed they were. It hadn¡¯t worked. It hadn¡¯t helped that they¡¯d given each other mono. Colt had been just as turned off as Lacey. They had spent a whole two weeks trying to politely pretend that they liked each other that way and then they both busted out with the truth on some fever-induced, cold-medicine-aided, fit of honesty. All that had been followed by a Twilight Zone marathon, followed by Gilmore Girls and Stranger Things marathons. Gilmore Girls had been his choice and Stranger Things had been hers. They had been half-way through Dr. Who when the doctors cleared them to go back to school. The good thing to come out of it all was that they could be affectionate with each other without any miscommunications or awkwardness, something at least three of his girlfriends had blown up about over the years.


    ¡°Four more days of mining and our goblin couple will have paid off the original investment in their mining equipment,¡± Lacey told Colt as he dumped the pail over the screen.


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t count on that,¡± Colt warned her with a wince. ¡°They want an air shaft for the fire pit and I¡¯m figuring that¡¯s going to be expensive.¡±


    Lacey scrolled to the optional upgrades for the rooms and nearly groaned at the expense. ¡°Make that two years,¡± she groused.


    ¡°The goblins are expensive, but they¡¯re industrious too,¡± Colt said, taking his bucket back. ¡°They¡¯ve already expanded their room to almost half again its original size.¡±This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    Lacey flicked back to the map screen and pinched/scrolled to the goblins¡¯ room which was bigger than it had been. The requested air shaft took scrolling out a whole lot more than she¡¯d done before. When Lacey was done, their little control room was down at the bottom of the screen as a speck in the center of what looked like it could be a huge mountain. The screen didn¡¯t let her scroll out more and she tried not to think about how deep they were under all that dirt or the fact that if it all collapsed, no one would ever even know they¡¯d been there.


    ¡°I¡¯m thinking we should make some more of the goblins,¡± Lacey suggested to get her mind off of it. ¡°They are the only ones who seem to be doing anything industrious.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Colt had pulled back on his original enthusiasm, but he was still trying to lighten the mood. Lacey let him, thinking that he needed it as much as she did. ¡°I think we should keep it small until we know what this will all start to look like tomorrow.¡±


    That threw Lacey for a loop. ¡°Tomorrow,¡± she sighed out, feeling a bit lightheaded at the thought.


    ¡°Is that how deep we are?¡± Colt did a doubletake at the screen she was stuck on.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± she answered him, a little breathless.


    ¡°Where are we?¡± he squinted at the screen.


    Lacey pointed wordlessly and he whistled in reply. There was a moment where they stood there in silence.


    ¡°Maybe we do need more goblins,¡± he rubbed the back of his neck, the empty bucket limp in his other hand.


    ¡°I¡¯m thinking so,¡± she nodded, trying to calculate how many goblins it would take to tunnel out toward what she could see as an edge of the mountain.


    ¡°I¡¯m just worried about how we¡¯re going to feed them,¡± Colt¡¯s words stopped her scrolling, and she gulped.


    ¡°How are we going to feed us?¡± Lacey asked quietly, knowing that Colt¡¯s stomach was something of a bottomless pit and took almost a third of their income to fill at times. It was a good thing his mom still cooked a feast every Sunday as long as they went to church with her. Colt was the only child left who was still doing the tradition and it made her wonder what his mother would think when they didn¡¯t show up. The clench of her stomach wasn¡¯t hunger this time, but it would be before long. When she looked up at Colt, the haunted look in his eyes told her he was thinking along the same lines. He might not have enjoyed the crazy-constant-noise of his huge family, but he did love them.


    ¡°Our first priority,¡± Lacey stated, determined to deflect that look in Colt¡¯s eyes, ¡°is to put together enough goblins to tunnel to the nearest surface, which is¡­¡±


    She scrolled and Colt watched over her shoulder. She scrolled some more.


    ¡°About five levels up and a mile or so in any direction,¡± Colt answered, his tone having lost the glimmer that the newness of their challenges had birthed. It was a lot.


    ¡°So, not soon enough to order take-out for dinner tonight,¡± Lacey joked, but they hadn¡¯t eaten in a while. They¡¯d planned to go out to either celebrate a win or drown their sorrows on a loss. It might have been a lame joke to anyone else, but it was enough for Colt, who blinked a few times and then pasted his encouraging smile back on. ¡°I guess I¡¯ll just have to order up, maybe a roasted boar or two?¡±


    At that, Colt cocked his head to the side and then shoved in front of her to ogle the food selections she¡¯d stopped the screen on. ¡°A hundred credits for a meat pie?¡± he exclaimed with comically bugged out eyes. ¡°Highway robbery.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s like Renn Faire prices,¡± she chuckled, then worried. ¡°We could eat, but just a couple of meat pies is the same as another goblin. It¡¯s just not sustainable to keep ordering food.¡±


    ¡°Shouldn¡¯t there be a way to make food?¡± Colt rubbed his stomach.


    ¡°It¡¯s like that ventilation thing, Colt,¡± Lacey complained. ¡°We have a cooking pit with a fire, but nothing to cook on it, no wood to burn¡­¡±


    ¡°The coal?¡± Colt suggested watching Eve come in with another bucket full of coal.


    ¡°Yeah, but coal makes some nasty smoke and where does it go?¡± Lacey threw up her hands and backed up so Colt could show Eve how to dump the coal over the screen herself. ¡°And what would we cook anyway? Goblin stew?¡±


    ¡°You think the goblins are going to go hungry too?¡± Colt worried, casting glances at Eve who was pretending to ignore them. They were both pretending that Lacey had meant stew made by goblins instead of stew made of goblins.


    ¡°Not tonight,¡± Lacey shrugged, keying in some meat pies for all of them. A small, steaming plate with four hand-sized meat pies on it appeared above the pedestal. It wasn¡¯t much, but Colt took it and then looked around their huge empty room.


    ¡°It seems wrong not to eat it at a table or something,¡± Colt wheedled, his mother¡¯s voice probably clear in his mind.


    That led her to upgrades for the control room. It would have been so easy to blow through all their funds on upgrades and be left in a tomb and not enough credits to ever reach the surface. Then again, they had never had funds like that prize money, and it was awfully tempting to spend it on something that would make the new place feel less like a foreign world. She bought a rough table and chairs as well as a bunk bed. The purchases opened up more options that were tempting, but expensive. Lacey could buy a wood-burning stove like you might find in a cabin in the woods (if it wasn¡¯t grayed out) or she could buy the ventilation system.


    As Lacey¡¯s hand hovered over some creature comforts, she paused. Who knew when they¡¯d be able to make funds again. Selling the coal was offsetting the cost of the equipment they had bought, but it wouldn¡¯t bring in enough to eat meat pies every night. Buying the meat pies had created more options too, like a whole boar for less than half a single meat pie. She had half a mind to order it, just to fill up on something, but with their current population it would likely be a waste.


    She found herself scrolling through the meager listings that were available in the store, a half-eaten meat pie in one hand and the other hovering, but afraid to buy the wrong thing. Colt saved her from the decision paralysis by scrolling through the options with her. They didn¡¯t eat at the table they¡¯d bought. For a good hour, they let themselves dwell on the options that would give them a mini-mansion, but in the end they finally settled on something close to their old shitty apartment. It had been good enough for the last four years, it would be good enough here. They upgraded a set of bunk beds with pillow and blanket upgrades and kept it simple on the splinter-infused table and chairs. It almost felt civilized.


    Colt made her buy a broom. The girl goblin, Eve, stole it on one of her trips with the little bucket of coal. It made Lacey wonder where they were going to throw things away, and then where they were going to, well, do their business that came from eating. Colt wasn¡¯t the only one to camp the bathroom for the stench monster. Lacey wanted to buy an indoor outhouse of some sort but upgrades like that were grayed out. Sometimes buying something opened up new purchases, but some purchases were still unavailable. There was a sewage system that made her choke on the cost. It almost felt like she was trying to build the infrastructure for a city with the budget for a small house.


    Still, the whole thing had to be more like the escape room puzzles than city planning, right? Something had brought them there because they were good at solving puzzles or maybe making puzzles. The key to the escape rooms was knowing that there was always a solution. A person just had to keep looking until they found it. As Lacey searched through the lists of options, she started to get a better feel for it. Most of it was still gibberish, but their limited options were opening up other options. When she¡¯d bought the campfire, she¡¯d gotten the option of the ventilation shaft. When she ordered the meat pies, she¡¯d opened up the option for a roasted boar that was less expensive than the meat pies and would have fed all of them. It was a puzzle. They just had to keep at it to get better at it.


    While she was inclined to be miserly with their credits, she also understood the concept that if nothing was invested, nothing would be earned. After a bit of debate between them, Lacey and Colt agreed to spend a little to make a little more. The goblins had really earned their keep, so they made them a little warren of another five rooms with two goblins in each. The girl/boy ratio was more like the flip of a coin, but they ended up with 6 boy goblins and 4 girl goblins. Adam and Eve shuffled their peers out of Lacey¡¯s way and into whatever new rooms they settled into. They equipped them with 8 mining picks, a few hammers, and some buckets.


    For the other rooms, they brought the monster totals to 10 each and then dumped a few basic upgrades in there just to see what it might open up. Again, Colt helped by transporting the little critters to their respective rooms. They ended up buying almost everything they could and then hit the wall of grayed out options.


    As a final pick, they eyed that ventilation shaft and after a quick scare of a debate where they wondered if they were going to run out of air, they bought it. They needed a few very basic things, for sure, and air had to be considered a priority. That and water. They winced as they bought the ventilation shaft, but it opened up an option for a cavern with a stream running through it which they also bought, placing it just below the control center. They¡¯d built the goblin caves in a line toward the surface, not that it went far enough to make a dent in their path to the outside. The water cavern was so expensive, but they¡¯d figured it was essential.


    A snore broke the silence of Lacey¡¯s studies. Colt had crashed out on the bottom bunk. Lacey hadn¡¯t realized that she was tired until she¡¯d heard Colt¡¯s snoring and then she also realized that her eyes were burning a bit. She rubbed them. The dent in their budget looked more like a gaping wound, but Lacey was still scrolling to see if she¡¯d missed anything.


    Taking a final rub at her eyes, she backed away from the pedestal and joined her partner, having just enough energy to lever herself up into the top bunk and use the end of the bed to pry off both her socks and shoes. They made plunking sounds that didn¡¯t wake Colt. She was asleep almost before her head hit the pillow, which was very comfortable, but certainly not worth the hundred credits it had cost as an upgrade. The blanket, however, was. At least the bed and bedding was made of some fluffy padding and not straw.

 Chapter 5 - Well, That’s Alarming

    Lacey and Colt were jerked awake to red lights and blaring sounds that felt like they shook the very walls. Colt hit his head on the upper bunk hard enough to jostle Lacey. Lacey, unused to a bunk bed, tumbled off the top bunk and ended up sprawled across Colt in a way that sent him to the floor, barely breaking her fall.


    ¡°What the hell?¡± Colt swore a little, which was abnormal enough to get Lacey to wake up completely enough to remember that they were no longer in their shitty apartment.


    Lacey slid on the dusty floor, her bare feet getting grimy as she sprinted for the pedestal in the middle of the room. The calming blue lights had been replaced by a throbbing red. The voice that had been so mellow the day before was yelling, ¡°Breech Imminent! Warning! Dungeon Compromised! Warning! Dungeon Wipe Probable! Warning!¡± It then repeated itself to the rhythm of a pounding on the door to the control room. Runes blinked on the screen, probably repeating what the voice was saying. That was horribly unhelpful, considering that Lacey needed to get into the system to try to help anything.


    ¡°Can¡¯t you shut that thing up?¡± Colt was complaining, taking the time to put his shoes and socks on.


    ¡°It¡¯s not a phone alarm, Colt,¡± Lacey muttered, but she doubted that Colt could hear her over the noise.


    When tapping the screen didn¡¯t help, she hit it a little more forcefully and was surprised to find the map came up first. Not that it could be the correct map. This map had levels and levels of rooms. Most of the rooms pulsed in a grimly dark red color. At least going to the map had stopped the loud sirens and yelling that belonged on the Enterprise during red alert.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± Colt growled out, stomping his kicks on and rising to join her, still rubbing his head.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t do anything but get to the map,¡± Lacey huffed, her brow creased with intense confusion. ¡°But it isn¡¯t our map.¡±


    ¡°Is that pounding my head or is it coming from that door?¡± Colt cocked his head to the side.


    ¡°The door,¡± Lacey said, quickly trying to scroll away from the map and back to some store. ¡°Maybe the goblins are revolting!¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Colt was never the first to get clear-headed in the morning. He woke up an hour before her most days to have his little quiet time for his mind to wake up. This disturbance was probably a little more than his morning-fogged brain could process. For that matter, it was more of a disturbance than Lacey wanted to deal with without coffee, but she was quicker than Colt for the moment, so she was the one working the controls.


    ¡°We armed the goblins, but we didn¡¯t think to arm ourselves,¡± Lacey did her own swearing, but that wasn¡¯t as unusual as the swear words coming from Colt.


    Colt frowned at the door. Lacey swiped to the store and tried to get to the picks before the door came down, but the store had gone crazy, blinking with the warnings that had been on the first page.


    ¡°It¡¯s not even letting me buy a mining pick,¡± Lacey¡¯s voice rising with panic as the door¡¯s banging started to make a splintering sound.


    ¡°Aaaargh!¡± came the war cry of what was definitely not a goblin.


    The tableau seemed to freeze for a second, Colt trying to look looming like he and Lacey were facing another bout of snide bullies at school, and Lacey frantically banging on the pedestal to let her into the store, while some guy in medieval leather armor and a sword half as tall as he was crashed through the doorway and into their new version of the shitty apartment. The guy in the armor looked at them and they stared back at him. Then the guy took a long look around their shitty apartment and curled a lip at what he saw.  Easter Egg.


    ¡°No way! Just my luck!¡± the guy said, and Lacey and Colt could only blink in reply. Lacey had taken up her standard position of poised behind Colt ready to break her toes on that armor as she kicked out around Colt¡¯s massive form. ¡°Nothing? Really?¡±


    Lacey¡¯s mind clicked forward to something that seemed really important, but then raced back away from it as the guy took off his leather helmet and threw it on the ground.


    ¡°You speak English?¡± Colt asked, and Lacey¡¯s mind realized what she should have figured out right away. Everything was in runes.


    ¡°Common,¡± the guy spat out. ¡°And yeah, we all do, ya idjut.¡±


    ¡°Then you know where we are?¡± Lacey stuttered, trying to forget that he was the only one with a sword.


    ¡°Ah man,¡± and the guy swore in a way that made Lacey sound like Colt. ¡°Noobs! I get stuck with NOOBS!¡±


    ¡°Yeah, okay,¡± Colt held out his hands and pitched his voice low and calming. ¡°Total noobs. That¡¯s us, so maybe give us a break and explain a little bit? Cause¡­ noobs.¡±


    Lacey felt her hackles rise at Colt¡¯s easy admission of weakness, but then again, she hadn¡¯t put on her shoes, so her kicks weren¡¯t going to do much against this guy except maybe break her own toes. The guy shook his head at them and gave a huge sigh that would have looked good in a melodrama. Lacey was pretty sure she hated the guy, just on principle.


    ¡°I¡¯m Hughe,¡± he sheathed his sword and walked, like he owned the place, to sit at a chair at Lacey and Colt¡¯s table. ¡°You got ale, at least?¡±


    Hughe looked like he was maybe fifteen and Lacey, who had edged behind Colt as Hughe had walked across the room, scowled at him like she could shame him.


    ¡°Nothing here to steal, man,¡± Colt was saying placatingly, but Lacey was quick to forget that there was a sword in that sheath. ¡°We¡¯ve got maybe a lump of coal between us.¡±The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    ¡°Coal?¡± the guy heavy sighed again like it was his favorite thing to do. ¡°Figures.¡±


    ¡°What the hell, asshole?¡± Lacey stormed around Colt to point a crazy finger at Hughe. ¡°You barge in here to our shitty apartment, wake us up out of a dead sleep, break our door, demand ale or something and you have the nerve to curse your luck?¡±


    ¡°You were sleeping?¡± that was what the guy got out of that rant.


    ¡°Wait, wait,¡± Colt put a hand on Lacey¡¯s shoulder and still held out his other hand to Hughe. ¡°Let¡¯s just figure stuff out, right?¡±


    ¡°What universe are you guys from that you don¡¯t know shit about anything?¡± Hughe asked, looking seriously befuddled at their reactions.


    ¡°Uh,¡± Colt searched his brain. It wasn¡¯t like their universe name was something they got asked a lot. ¡°We¡¯re from Earth in the Milky Way Galaxy.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t even know the name of your universe?¡± Hughe gave another sigh. ¡°How did you get this gig? Dungeon masters are normally a little more savvy, you know?¡±


    ¡°No, we don¡¯t know,¡± Lacey spat at the kid. ¡°We just got here yesterday!¡±


    ¡°Dang!¡± and the kid laughed in a way that had Lacey lunging at him. Colt grabbed Lacey around the waist in a practiced moved that came from muscle memory. ¡°Sorry. Sorry,¡± he held up his hands, but he did not sound sorry at all. He was still laughing. A lot. He sounded smug and annoying to a still spitting Lacey. ¡°First, you did not get here yesterday. Your dungeon was huge! The only real problem with it was that it didn¡¯t have any damn treasure!¡±


    ¡°A dozen rooms is huge?¡± Colt asked, but Lacey remembered the new map. There had been a lot more rooms than that on the huge map Lacey had seen that morning.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been clearing out rooms for a week, dude,¡± Hughe said through a chuckle. ¡°What did you do, set it on automatic?¡±


    ¡°We seem to be speaking the same language, but you aren¡¯t making a lot of sense,¡± Colt admitted, setting Lacey down, but keeping an arm between her and the new guy. ¡°Let¡¯s start over, shall we? My name is Colt and this is Lacey. We got here yesterday afternoon and used that little pedestal to create a few rooms, filled them with a few goblins and worms and stuff. Then we ate a few meat pies and crashed.¡±


    ¡°The next thing we know, alarms are blaring and you¡¯re busting through our door like you¡¯ve got a right to terrorize anybody just because you have the fancy sword and, and,¡± Lacey sputtered out.


    ¡°Oh, wow,¡± Hughe looked at the two of them like his girlfriend had just told him she was pregnant on the day he was breaking up with her. ¡°That sucks.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s it? That sucks? That¡¯s all you have to say to us?¡± Lacey boggled at him as Colt just gaped a bit open-mouthed.


    ¡°Suck less?¡± the kid offered, and Colt automatically grabbed Lacey again.


    ¡°Look,¡± Hughe waved his palms at them like he hadn¡¯t just insulted them. ¡°I¡¯m just here for the dungeon. I found it, so I own it, more or less, but it¡¯s really useless unless you two can get it together. I don¡¯t know how you turned on the automatic sleep mode, but if I was you, I¡¯d figure it out so it doesn¡¯t happen again. I¡¯m a pretty nice guy, but others would have just killed you both already and cut their losses.¡±


    Lacey¡¯s gut clenched at that, and Colt sent her a look. Hughe could have just killed them. Still could. ¡°So, why haven¡¯t you killed us already?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m just a shmuck, okay?¡± Hughe admitted. ¡°When I stumbled on a new dungeon, I thought I¡¯d hit the motherlode. I didn¡¯t realize I was breaking into the control room. I just thought the goblins had to have a treasure room somewhere and when I finally found the secret door to here, I got excited.¡±


    ¡°And broke down our door,¡± Lacey snarked.


    ¡°Well, yeah,¡± he replied like it was the only obvious thing to do. ¡°I¡¯m an adventurer. That¡¯s what we do. Dungeons are our bread and butter.¡±


    Colt¡¯s stomach growled at the mention of food.


    ¡°Law says the dungeon¡¯s mine, so I can set the fees for entry, and I have first run at it when it levels up,¡± Hughe shrugged. ¡°The challenge was okay, but there¡¯s no treasure. I¡¯d be lucky to get 5 copper for an entry fee and that would only be for adventurers straight out of the recycler to just come in and slaughter for experience. Didn¡¯t you get some kind of tutorial or something?¡±


    ¡°Tutorial?¡± Lacey scoffed, rolling her eyes to the ceiling and counting to ten.


    ¡°All we got was a screen of runes,¡± Colt admitted, edging himself in front of Lacey and taking a step toward the table. ¡°We didn¡¯t understand it at all. We were lucky to make a few goblins.¡±


    ¡°Whew, that¡¯s rough,¡± Hughe blew out another breath and seemed to take a moment to think, something that didn¡¯t look like a common occurrence for the boy. ¡°I mean, I could help you out a bit, but it¡¯s not normal. I¡¯m supposed to be your adversary, not helping out.¡±


    ¡°An explanation couldn¡¯t hurt, right?¡± Colt proffered.


    ¡°You got a tutorial, right?¡± Lacey interrupted, stepping around a cautious Colt to sit down on the table near where Hughe sat. Hughe leaned back, but didn¡¯t look disturbed by Lacey¡¯s looming tactic.


    ¡°Of course,¡± Hughe answered her glibly.


    ¡°Then help us through our tutorial and maybe we can find that treasure you thought you¡¯d find,¡± Lacey smiled at Hughe in a way that made Colt gulp.


    ¡°Really?¡± Hughe leaned forward, rubbing his hands together, oblivious of the predatory look on Lacey¡¯s face. ¡°I hadn¡¯t thought of that. I mean, if you learn how to make treasure, that could make all of this worth it.¡±


    ¡°Sure,¡± Colt said carefully, nudging Lacey¡¯s sharklike focus off center enough to lessen the threat she didn¡¯t pose to the kid. ¡°I¡¯m sure we could help each other out, right Lacey?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey nodded, letting Colt nudge her. ¡°I mean, maybe all the dungeon owning adventurers do it and they just don¡¯t admit it.¡±


    ¡°You think?¡± Hughe began to look hopeful, and Lacey might have felt guilty if he hadn¡¯t just been casually talking about killing them.


    ¡°Oh, yeah,¡± Colt nodded.


    ¡°Huh,¡± Hughe laughed, standing up and approaching Colt. ¡°And here my mentor said that dungeons could be tricky things to take over. This isn¡¯t so bad. I guess he just hadn¡¯t run into a baby dungeon like yours, right?¡±


    Lacey swallowed back an almost overwhelming urge to smack the kid. There would be time.


    ¡°Can you read the runes on the pedestal?¡± Lacey waved her hand over the pedestal in invitation instead.


    ¡°You¡¯re going to let me look at it?¡± Hughe asked. ¡°Wow. The guys back at the guild will never believe this!¡±


    Lacey contemplated what it might take to steal the guy¡¯s sword and slit his throat with it. That allowed her to smile and nod like the vapid person Hughe acted like she was.


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t tell the guys back at the guild,¡± Colt warned Hughe, a hand on the boy¡¯s shoulder. ¡°They might want to steal your dungeon.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey nodded, trying for a sage look and probably pulling off a snide one. ¡°Let¡¯s get up to full force before we let anyone in on the deal.¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± Hughe rubbed his palms together with a leer.


    ¡°Can you read it?¡± Colt nudged the boy to the pedestal.


    ¡°What setting do you have the language on anyway?¡± Hughe frowned. ¡°This isn¡¯t common. I can¡¯t read it, but there should be a language control.¡±


    Lacey rolled her eyes and eyed Hughe¡¯s sword. It just had to be easier to kill the kid themselves than hold his hand through helping them out. As her eyes rolled, they landed back on the splintered door that Hughe had broken through. Was that someone back there? Did Hughe have backup?


    ¡°Maybe I can¡¯t read it because I¡¯m not a dungeon master, but that isn¡¯t any language I¡¯ve ever seen before,¡± Hughe shook his head, his hand going toward his sword as he finally noticed that he¡¯d let his back be exposed to two combatants. ¡°I¡¯m not sure about this. If you can¡¯t even conjure up some treasure¡­¡±

 Chapter 6 - Extortion or Bust

    Lacey pushed Hughe to the side of the pedestal, putting his back to the door, and glared at the screen. The screen hadn¡¯t changed.


    ¡°No need to get greedy,¡± Colt placated Hughe. ¡°I¡¯m sure we can find treasure for you.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t get into anything,¡± Lacey complained, swiping through screens, most of which were locked. ¡°It¡¯s like it¡¯s locked down because of him being here.¡± She didn¡¯t think that, but it might make sense and she was really just trying to distract him and keep his attention on the screen.


    ¡°No use trying then,¡± the kid¡¯s face hardened in a way that made them not consider him as kidlike as they had before. Had something alerted him to danger? ¡°I¡¯m not a complicated guy and I¡¯m just level 5. It¡¯s probably just best if I kill you and let you respawn in some other place.¡±


    ¡°Hang on,¡± Colt¡¯s tone got a bit more tense as he backed up toward their table. ¡°What if you just come back tomorrow? I can guarantee we¡¯ll have something for you by then. It¡¯s just that the controls are probably locked out while we have a combatant in the dungeon. I mean, that makes sense, right?¡±


    ¡°What do you mean respawn?¡± Lacey ignored the danger to ask, bringing Hughe¡¯s attention to her and not the goblin sneaking in the door behind him.


    ¡°Adventurers respawn back at their hometown, or their last guild,¡± Hughe paused in drawing his sword to say. ¡°I¡¯m sure dungeons respawn too. We lose some experience, but you don¡¯t have any anyway if you just got here yesterday, right?¡±


    ¡°What if dungeons don¡¯t respawn?¡± Lacey interrupted, sending a glance around the room behind her, looking for something in the almost empty cave to help her out.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure they do?¡± he assured them, stalking toward Lacey while keeping one eye on Colt who held his hands up, trying to look helpless.


    ¡°Why?¡± Lacey asked, stalling for time as she saw a very large goblin sneak very quietly into the room behind the boy. She couldn¡¯t tell if it was a boy goblin or a girl goblin. She didn¡¯t care. Lacey was just glad it was a large goblin.


    ¡°Because I would respawn back at town, so I¡¯m sure you would too,¡± Hughe insisted, becoming annoyed in a way that Lacey had a habit of doing to normally sane people. The sound of his sword sliding from the sheath at his waist didn¡¯t sound at all like it did in the movies. It was quiet and deadly.


    ¡°Would I respawn with my shoes?¡± Lacey asked, edging back from the young man with the sword and toward the bed.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Hughe asked, his focus on Lacey, not Colt, who was leaning against one of their splinter-infested chairs as the goblin crept slowly closer.


    ¡°I got up so abruptly that I didn¡¯t get a chance to put on my shoes,¡± Lacey reasoned. ¡°At least let me put them on before you kill me so I¡¯m not barefoot at our next respawn.¡±


    ¡°Uh, okay,¡± Hughe lowered his sword slightly and cast a glance back at Colt, which was their undoing.


    Several things happened at once, belying everything Lacey had learned about fighting from DnD. The goblin darted forward, swinging a pail full of coal at Hughe¡¯s head. Hughe lifted his sword to block the bucket as he spun to face the goblin. Colt picked up the chair and swung it at Hughe. Lacey chucked her shoes at the back of Hughe¡¯s head like she was Colt¡¯s mom when one of the boys got too big for their britches.


    The sword blocked the pail of coal, which rotated around the fist of the goblin, dumping half the coal on the floor. Hughe continued his swing of the sword in such a way that it headed toward the chair aimed at his head. Lacey lunged forward to sink her teeth into Hughe¡¯s shoulder so deep, the guy would have been very sorry he had turned his back on her. Unlike their schoolyard fights, Lacey didn¡¯t just aim to startle her opponent. She bit hard enough to draw blood, or at least she would have if she hadn¡¯t missed and bit leather armor instead.


    The goblin turned all the way around, building momentum with its half-full pail of coal as it aimed again at the adventurer¡¯s head. Hughe struggled to reverse the momentum of his sword and bring it up against the chair in Colt¡¯s hands. Lacey wrapped her arms around Hughe¡¯s neck, throwing him off balance so that the chair grazed his temple. She then shifted her bite to the back of the guy¡¯s neck and got a mouthful of hair and ear that tasted disgustingly of sweat and grime to begin with and then filled with blood in a way she¡¯d never experienced in school fights. Then again, she¡¯d never fought this hard on the schoolground.


    Hughe lunged one way to duck the circling bucket, but Lacey was pulling the other way. The result was that the bucket clocked them both a little, scattering what was left of the contents of the bucket. Lacey¡¯s wide eyes met the goblin¡¯s just as Hughe recovered enough to slide his sword toward the goblin¡¯s bulging stomach. Hughe, so focused on the goblin and girl, totally missed the fact that half a chair was aiming to brush his teeth for him.


    Teeth, splinters, and coal flew and scattered. Hughe shrugged to try to loosen Lacey or because he was staggered by the chair. Lacey couldn¡¯t tell which. Colt, having experience in hitting foes while not hitting Lacey, had landed a solid blow, but now only held two chair legs, one in each hand. Hughe¡¯s sword slid across and into the goblin¡¯s stomach. He¡¯d had Eve¡¯s eyes, that goblin. They were red and somehow still expressive like Eve¡¯s had been. Lacey gulped back the thought and regretted it immediately as blood went down her throat as she had not let go of Hughe¡¯s neck and ear. She was pretty sure that the lump in her throat was a piece of his ear and tried not to think about it.This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.


    Hughe tucked his chin into the crook of Lacey¡¯s arm that was choking him and then he shook like that could dislodge her. Lacey clenched that elbow. She¡¯d learned self-defense in college. They had free classes for that. He wasn¡¯t getting away that easily. With her other hand, she locked her elbow into position and applied pressure. The goblin fell to his knees, trying to hold its stomach closed. Colt stabbed out with his splintered sticks, only managing to completely destroy his weapons as they shattered against the leather armor.


    Hughe bent his knees and started to lean forward to flip Lacey off his shoulders, but she countered by wrapping her legs securely around his waist and locking her ankles. The kid wasn¡¯t that big. He just had a sword and armor that wasn¡¯t going to keep him from passing out from lack of oxygen. Colt swept out with a side kick he¡¯d learned from one of his older brothers who had taken karate. There was a horrible crunching noise as his kick connected with a knee. Colt wasn¡¯t pulling punches either.


    This is where the movies would have shown Hughe¡¯s eyes rolling up into the back of his head and passing out. That was what Lacey had been ready for. What she wasn¡¯t ready for was Hughe flinging his head back into what might have been her nose, if she hadn¡¯t had her teeth clamped on a new piece of sweaty skin at his neck. Hughe¡¯s sword swung wildly in front of him, missing everything, but blocking Colt from getting another hit in.


    The following ninety seconds was a parody of errors as Hughe tried to buck Lacey off while blocking Colt and not slipping on the goblin guts on the floor at his feet or the lumps of coal, or the shattered chair. He fell when his wounded knee buckled as he tripped from lack of oxygen on a rounded leg of the chair that was coated in goblin guts. Rather than lurch forward, Hughe toppled backward on top of Lacey, who oompfed as the air was violently expunged from her lungs. Unfortunately for them, this caused Lacey to release her grip of Hughe¡¯s neck and waist, which resulted in 2 seconds of gulping air before Colt slammed the sole of his foot into Hughe¡¯s solar plexus and returned the lack of oxygen to new heights for the poor kid.


    Lacey was still seeing stars as Colt dragged her out from under the body of their foe, her back scraping against coal and splinters and her shirt soaked in blood. Colt tutted over her until Lacey sat up, alternating between gasping for breath and spitting out the foulness that was in her mouth. Colt checked for a pulse in the non-bloodied part of Hughe¡¯s neck and shook his head at Lacey, who paled.


    ¡°It was him or us,¡± she breathed out, trying to wipe at her mouth with some clean part of her arm. There wasn¡¯t a clean spot. It was all gross.


    ¡°He¡¯ll respawn,¡± Colt told himself.


    That goaded Lacey into action as she scrambled over to work on stripping Hughe of everything on his body. Colt only paused a moment before joining her. The red lighting pulsed one last time and then faded back to the blue they¡¯d gotten used to.


    ¡°Sword, leather chest and legs, a pouch with some coins, what looks like crackers and cheese, leather boots,¡± Colt inventoried what he¡¯d taken off Hughe.


    ¡°Cloth pants, underwear, socks, cloth shirt, one ring, leather helmet, and a tooth on a leather thong,¡± Lacey listed off what she had taken.


    ¡°I appreciate the extra pair of socks,¡± Colt gave her a lopsided smile, ¡°but the underwear?¡±


    ¡°For Eve,¡± Lacey replied, and Colt¡¯s eyes lost their shimmer of amusement. ¡°And he pissed me off,¡± she continued, and his sparkle came back.


    ¡°Are you sure you didn¡¯t just want to see him naked?¡± Colt teased her.


    ¡°Uh, no,¡± Lacey raised her eyebrows and shook her head. ¡°Jailbait.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, he was young,¡± Colt¡¯s eyes got a bit of shadow that Lacey didn¡¯t like.


    ¡°He¡¯ll respawn,¡± Lacey reminded Colt.


    ¡°Probably naked,¡± Colt pressed his lips together as his eyes danced.


    The goblin dissolved before Hughe did. Lacey skittered back on her hands when Hughe started to disappear. The mess they left behind did not dissolve, at least not all of it. Anything they hadn¡¯t taken of the body dissolved, including the blood and guts. Only Lacey¡¯s clothes seemed to retain enough of the blood to be a mess of bodily fluids. Lacey levered herself to her feet even as Colt glanced balefully at the mess of coal and splintered wood.


    ¡°Three chairs is probably enough,¡± Lacey tried to distract him.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt puffed out. ¡°And next time we¡¯ll have a sword instead of a rickety chair.¡±


    ¡°Next time,¡± Lacey said low and made herself look at the pedestal.


    Colt made his way over to the ruined door as Lacey touched the message in the middle of the screen.


    ¡°Full dungeon wipe,¡± the voice said out loud, so she touched the next line of runes. ¡°Entrance closed until dawn for reset.¡±


    ¡°At least we have until tomorrow morning,¡± Colt said, picking up a chunk of wood that used to be a door.


    ¡°That could be two hours or two minutes away since we can¡¯t see the sun to know what time it is,¡± Lacey complained.


    ¡°But it¡¯s something,¡± Colt said purposefully.


    ¡°But it¡¯s something,¡± Lacey repeated dutifully, hitting the next line of what looked like notices.


    ¡°Level 5 fighter defeated,¡± the voice said. ¡°Level up. Congratulations, your dungeon is now level one.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± Lacey breathed out heavily to clear the disgust that seemed stuck in the back of her throat with the taste of blood that didn¡¯t seem to be going away. ¡°I guess we really were a baby dungeon.¡±


    ¡°Wipe summary:¡± the voice went on with the bad news. ¡°121 goblins destroyed. 204 bats destroyed. 93 worms destroyed. 72 rooms looted.¡±


    ¡°Maybe not so baby?¡± Colt countered.


    ¡°How did we get so many monsters?¡± Lacey goggled at the display that still didn¡¯t make sense.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, but we need some more,¡± Colt replied, pointing to the pedestal with the sword that he now carried with him. ¡°You work that thing, and I¡¯ll go check out some rooms. Maybe I can figure out how we expanded overnight.¡±


    ¡°I can see the map,¡± Lacey called out to him.


    ¡°Maps don¡¯t tell a story, and we need the story as much as the schematics, don¡¯t you think?¡± Colt called back over his shoulder.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey said to herself, flicking through screens.

 Chapter 7 - Rip Van Wrinkle in the Plans

    There were new screens, but Lacey couldn¡¯t read any of them. She managed to make a few new goblins that she refused to name. They were slightly larger than Eve¡¯s generation had been. Lacey basically just remade all the ones she¡¯d made before. There were differences, of course, and they were ones that Lacey didn¡¯t understand. The map was huge now with rooms that stretched all the way to the surface. The ventilations shaft seemed to be at the center of most of the rooms. Turning all the rooms from a grayish-red to a green that then faded away cost an arm and a leg, but that was the least of their worries.


    ¡°I brought home take-out,¡± Colt announced as he brought a pot of what could only be stew into the control room hours later.


    ¡°Good?¡± Lacey looked at the pot with skepticism.


    ¡°Just in case we couldn¡¯t afford a few meat pockets,¡± Colt told her, pulling a couple of spoons and bowls out of a crude pack that he¡¯d slung over his shoulder. ¡°I tasted it on the way. It isn¡¯t horrible.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re not broke,¡± Lacey told him, her stomach urging her to the table to try the cold stew. Colt spooned out equal servings to each of them and she sniffed at it. ¡°I could order up that boar if you want.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Colt looked at her with puppy-dog eyes. ¡°I mean, I noticed that you¡¯d put out a few new goblins and they seem to be cleaning up, so I figured we were broke.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what happened, but we¡¯ve got more than ten times what we had before,¡± Lacey admitted.


    ¡°I¡¯d love some meat pies, but I feel like I could eat a whole roasted boar on my own,¡± Colt rubbed his stomach and swept aside the stew to make room on the table.


    ¡°I¡¯m starving too,¡± Lacey darted back to the display and splurged on two whole boars, one of which she had Colt take out to the new goblins.


    ¡°This thing is huge!¡± Colt nearly drooled over the 3¡¯ long and 2¡¯ high roasted boar that took up half the table. ¡°The goblins out there are happy with theirs but I¡¯m glad we¡¯re eating in our own room. Their table manners leave a lot to be desired.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll bet,¡± Lacey chuckled and pulled off a chunk of meat near the belly.


    ¡°I have some theories about what happened,¡± Colt said after swallowing a bite. His mother would have been dismayed at him eating with his hands, but he was conscientious enough to finish his bite of food before talking. ¡°Did you make any other headway with the display?¡±


    ¡°Not a lot,¡± Lacey said after a good swallow of her own. ¡°No new language settings that I could find, but I managed to restore the dungeon to what we had before we went to sleep.¡±


    ¡°Sleep,¡± Colt nodded, wiping a bit of fat off his chin. ¡°I think it was a long sleep. Like Rip Van Winkle long.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Lacey asked, a little surprised by how much she wanted to eat.


    ¡°There are signs of generations of goblins in those caves,¡± Colt told her. ¡°I can take you to a cave where they drew on the walls. Eve died out long before our knight errant showed up.¡±


    ¡°Cave paintings?¡± Lacey marveled. ¡°How long have we been asleep?¡±


    ¡°I couldn¡¯t tell you for sure,¡± Colt replied, ¡°but there have been at least four new generations of goblins since Eve died. She¡¯s revered as the mother of goblins, and we are also on the cave walls. Turns out Eve gave specific instructions that our cave be kept up or the gods, that¡¯s us,¡± he paused to point at the two of them, ¡°would come awake and slaughter them all.¡±


    ¡°They didn¡¯t do their jobs all that well,¡± Lacey waved a hand at the dusty floor.


    ¡°Like all societies that survive past the latest godly interference, the goblins got a bit lax, but,¡± and Colt held up a finger, ¡°they remained faithful to their tithing! Which is why we might have that hefty balance of credits. Everything they dug out while creating their warren was deposited into the pedestal.¡±


    ¡°That might have been expediency more than faithfulness,¡± Lacey gave a little laugh with her raised eyebrow. ¡°Where else were they going to put it? They didn¡¯t have access to the surface.¡±Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ¡°That would be incorrect, but I think they only recently broke through to the surface, so you may be right about that,¡± Colt admitted, tearing off another chunk of meat from a shank of the pig. ¡°In any case, it must have worked out for us since we now have a bunch of credits to rebuild.¡±


    ¡°I used a bunch of credits to turn the rooms we have from throbbing red to green on the map so that they were restored,¡± Lacey took her own second huge chunk of meat, a little unnerved by how hungry she was. ¡°I¡¯m hungry enough to have been asleep for years.¡±


    ¡°That explains it,¡± Colt snapped his fingers, fumbling it a bit because his hands were greasy. ¡°I didn¡¯t explore far, but every once in a while, I¡¯d hit a place I couldn¡¯t enter but it would clear later. The water cavern was one of them.¡±


    ¡°It was the most expensive, so I cleared it last to make sure I had enough for the rest first,¡± Lacey told him. ¡°Speaking of water, this pork is salty enough to have me wanting to take a walk myself.¡±


    ¡°I haven¡¯t been in the water cavern yet,¡± Colt said. ¡°We should go together. It¡¯s just below the control center, right?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey wiped her hands on her pants, which were slightly less soiled with gruesomeness than her shirt was.


    ¡°Mom would have made us wash up before,¡± Colt murmured softly as they stood.


    ¡°Oh, Colt,¡± Lacey patted his shoulder as they walked to a trap door that hadn¡¯t been found by Hughe.


    ¡°Do you think she¡¯s still alive?¡± Colt asked and Lacey could tell that he did it reluctantly, like his heart would break if he didn¡¯t talk about it.


    Lacey didn¡¯t have an answer, so she let him talk as they walked down a spiral stairway carved into the stone floor.


    ¡°Maybe time runs differently here,¡± he mused morbidly.


    ¡°We don¡¯t know different,¡± Lacey nodded, following close behind him.


    ¡°So, we can pretend that it¡¯s so,¡± he lifted his chin. It was something they did when life seemed just a bit too bleak for comfort. ¡°I figure time stood still for her too and she¡¯s getting off work and home fixing dinner. What do you think she made?¡±


    ¡°Spaghetti with that meat sauce,¡± Lacey answered, letting the memory form even though they were just making shit up. ¡°The kind that took all day to simmer.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he got into it, as the stairs went down quite a ways. ¡°She started it this morning and it¡¯s filled the whole house with garlic and tomatoes smells. Now that she¡¯s home, she¡¯s started the garlic bread because she knows we¡¯ll want to celebrate the win at the escape room.¡±


    ¡°And there¡¯s a cheesecake in the fridge,¡± Lacey could practically smell the cheesy bread as she bumped into Colt¡¯s back. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°That,¡± Colt said, leaning out of the way so that Lacey could see.


    The cavern had grown from the picture on the screen upstairs. It wasn¡¯t a 30¡¯ by 60¡¯ room with a little stream running through it. It had become a monstrous cavern big enough to house the Superbowl, stadium included. The river that ran through it cascaded into the cavern in falls that rushed at a few spots and sprinkled down near the edges. The cavern was split down the center by a river 10¡¯ wide that had two stone bridges that crossed it at convenient spots. Small pools had been added to the sides of the river where sluices had been engineered to allow for water to be diverted into side pools for bathing or cleaning or whatever.


    ¡°The goblins did that?¡± Lacey asked, her voice barely carrying over the roar of the water.


    ¡°They can be clever, when motivated,¡± Colt chuckled.


    ¡°I don¡¯t care how it happened,¡± Lacey pushed past him and darted for the nearest side pool yelling behind her as she ran. ¡°I want to clean up!¡±


    Lacey didn¡¯t even take her clothes off for it as she ran to a pool and played around with the sluices until she and Colt figured them out together. When one side was open, a bit of water (cold water) poured into the pool, filling it so that it was about waist high on Lacey. When both sides were open, water rinsed through, taking all the nasty stuff on their clothing with it. Lacey played in the water, as much to cheer up Colt as a real playfulness.


    They were joined by goblins at one point, but Lacey refused to get attached. Colt and Lacey rinsed themselves off the best they could with just water. It might not have been enough for Colt¡¯s mom, but it was enough for them. It would have to be considering their situation.


    ¡°There are some new menu items on the screen,¡± Lacey laid back in the pool of water and tried to imagine that it was a hot tub. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to go into them very far until you were back. We should decide new stuff together. You should know that we now have leather armor, swords, boots, and leather pouches in the store. They aren¡¯t so expensive that we couldn¡¯t arm the goblins, but it would be a chunk of change if we want to repopulate all the way to the levels they were at before Hughe decimated them. I just thought we¡¯d talk it through before I made that kind of decision.¡±


    ¡°Makes sense,¡± Colt nodded. ¡°How much of our new riches would it take to get us fully armed and armored on just the goblins?¡±


    ¡°Over three fourths of our credits,¡± Lacey told him, and he flinched. ¡°And that¡¯s just for the goblins. I don¡¯t know about arming the bugs and bats, but they were part of the ecosystem that survived all those years underground. If we want to restore just their numbers, we¡¯re going to be broke again.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s maybe a hundred years¡¯ worth of mining,¡± he rubbed at a spot of dark red on his shirt. ¡°We won¡¯t get that back if we get attacked again.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s why I haven¡¯t done it yet. I don¡¯t think that¡¯s an if,¡± Lacey twisted her mouth. ¡°I think it¡¯s a when.¡±


    ¡°Agreed,¡± Colt nodded. ¡°Now that we have access to the surface, the surface has access to us. At least Hughe knows where we are, and we can¡¯t just pick up and leave.¡±


    ¡°Why not?¡± Lacey stood up straighter, wringing water from her unruly mop and trying to run her fingers through it.


    ¡°Maybe it¡¯ll change once dawn comes, but I found the opening to the surface, and it¡¯s sealed up,¡± Colt told her, heaving himself out of the water to sit on the edge and shake out his own hair.

 Chapter Bonus 7.5ish – Petulant Engines, Need Cookies

    ¡°What do you mean you put the manual and tutorial on hold?¡± Karma yelled at the engine. While the engine itself didn¡¯t talk, Typewriter was pretty good at interpreting for it.


    ¡°The engine didn¡¯t get a tutorial,¡± Typewriter clacked at her.


    ¡°Ever since that sadist plopped me into the world with nothing but a mouthful of dirt, I have promised myself that no one would go through the same thing,¡± Karma¡¯s face was red, her fists clenched at her sides.


    ¡°It says that technically, the tutorial is there, but in runes,¡± Typewriter seemed to wince at its own words. ¡°It says that the backstory is that the previous dungeon master set the system to be locked out and then died.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Karma loomed dangerously over the box with the typewriter on it. She¡¯d just spent a glorious two days in the new mini-world watching to make sure that the adventurers were doing alright. She¡¯d been playing the barkeep. They weren¡¯t a particularly original group, but they had done enough chores for the townsfolk that they had nice little first level weapons and armor. She¡¯d gotten them out exploring and then gone back to the workshop to check up on the progress of her new DMs.


    ¡°The engine says that it¡¯s a valid variation of a backstory,¡± Typewriter explained.


    What she had found was fubar! With no instructions in any language that they could read, they had done their best with the reward money and gone to sleep. That was lovely except that Hughe, one of the adventurers, was heading their way and they hadn¡¯t yet woken up.


    ¡°Why aren¡¯t they awake?¡± Karma¡¯s voice dropped low. ¡°Hughe is literally around the corner!¡±


    ¡°The failsafe was set so that sleep caused time to pass so that the dungeon could grow on its own,¡± Typewriter answered her. ¡°The engine says you agreed to that part.¡±


    ¡°But not so that time passes outside the dungeon!¡± Karma protested, wanting to smack the box with a club. ¡°The adventurers will be a million years old before the dungeon even gets to level 1!¡±


    ¡°The failsafe is set to a maximum of 100 years,¡± Typewriter¡¯s ribbon slid back and forth.


    ¡°One hundred years!¡± Karma smacked her forehead instead. Cliff was in town getting supplies, but she was sure he¡¯d be on her side for this. What had the engine been thinking?


    ¡°The engine says that time will pass until the dungeon is in imminent danger of complete wipe or 100 years have passed,¡± Typewriter¡¯s keys were shaking, but Karma was past being an enabler for Typewriter¡¯s nervous mannerisms. And it was even more annoying that Typewriter used I as a pronoun when the engine was being praised and third person pronouns when it was in trouble. They were the same. ¡°It is too late to change the failsafe because it has been entered into the chapters provided so far.¡±


    Karma kicked the door, one of the few things in the room that wasn¡¯t animated and therefore safe to kick. She stormed outside the room, slamming the door behind her and called Cliff from the driveway where cell phones could work normally. After an hour of ranting, stomping, hair-pulling and kicking of trees, Cliff pulled up in the old truck.


    ¡°Okay, okay,¡± he held up placating hands, letting the truck door slam behind him. ¡°I¡¯ll talk to the engine. We¡¯ll fix it.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m trying to help the engine!¡± Karma shoved her phone into a back pocket, waving her other arm in the air. ¡°If we can get people to make dungeons, it will have more resources for quests and storylines!¡±


    ¡°I know that, and in a way, the engine knows that, but it¡¯s temperamental at best about stuff like this and you know it,¡± Cliff shrugged, reaching behind him for yet another bag of hardware for the wretched machine that was a greedy little pain in Karma¡¯s ass.


    ¡°They might just opt out over this,¡± Karma lamented, automatically reaching for the bags of groceries that seemed to be the only thing the stupid engine didn¡¯t try to eat up.The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.


    ¡°We have checks and balances in place,¡± Cliff told her. ¡°Even if the dungeon completely fails, they will still get to be players. Right?¡±


    ¡°The sleep period was always supposed to be to grow the dungeon during down periods so that it could keep up with adventurers always trying to tear it down!¡± Karma swung the bags precariously, then stopped as she noticed that Cliff had picked up her favorite junk food. ¡°Is that Mountain Dew?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Cliff gave her a half smile. ¡°I figured we¡¯d be up half the night solving this. I got you chocolate too.¡±


    ¡°Death by sugar?¡± she scanned the bags for the cookies she loved.


    ¡°They had a snickerdoodle kind,¡± he tried to mollify her.


    ¡°It might be enough to convince me not to kick that infernal machine,¡± Karma groused with far less vehemence.


    ¡°We¡¯ll fix it,¡± Cliff assured her, shouldering into the house in the middle of nowhere. He dumped two bags in the workshop and then took another two, as well as Karma¡¯s into the kitchen.


    ¡°You are not off the hook, you mutant garbage pail wanna-be,¡± Karma pointed to the engine and growled, then called out to Cliff. ¡°I swear that Fizz-butt put some of his own assholedness in that thing.¡±


    ¡°Normally, the engine is reasonable,¡± Cliff said, handing Karma the box of snickerdoodles and a bottle of soda. He must have gotten it from the fridge because it was ice cold.


    ¡°Normally,¡± Karma gave a deep sigh and got a haunted look for a moment as she cracked open the soda.


    ¡°Engine, let¡¯s have a compromise, huh?¡± Cliff offered the magical machine. ¡°The adventurers are already levelling up. If one of them goes through the level 0 dungeon, the dungeon won¡¯t stand a chance, right?¡±


    ¡°No, they didn¡¯t,¡± Mirror answered, and Karma nearly choked on her soda.


    ¡°Wait, what?¡± Cliff stopped, his finger in the air.


    ¡°Hughe leveled to 5 and is currently wiping the dungeon,¡± Mirror informed them, but all the constructs were quivering with tension.


    ¡°In the hour I¡¯ve been outside?¡± Karma gaped at the engine like she was going to pluck out all its innards and feed them to the nearest crows.


    ¡°The engine said that since the dungeon was in fast forward that it was only fair that the story progressed faster,¡± Pestle admitted, ducking behind its mortar.


    ¡°We tried to talk it out of it,¡± Footstool fluttered.


    ¡°Pause program,¡± Cliff¡¯s tone brooked no defiance, and since he was the man with the tools and tech, the engine obeyed.


    They negotiated. In the end, the dungeon got 100 years of growth, not that it would help them since it was just a bunch of empty rooms now that Hughe had tromped the dungeon over days of diving in it. The dungeon woke the dungeon masters just in time for them to meet Hughe, who luckily did some expose for the dungeon masters. All that 100 years of growth had done was make Hughe an inflated level 5. Karma was still livid but, at least, her dungeon masters had a chance.


    Karma made the engine unlock voice controls into menus that were buried under the tutorial, which her poor dungeon masters had not completed yet thanks to the pedestal being set in runes. The engine had been adamant about not unlocking the pedestal until they reset the password or completed the tutorial. Karma had insisted that fast forward of the dungeon for growth had to be independent from time in the rest of the world in that no matter how long the dungeon slept, no time passed for adventurers. The engine insisted that the time dilation would be exactly 5-1 and only while both dungeon masters were sleeping, not that Lacey or Colt dared to sleep anymore, at least not at the same time. Karma couldn¡¯t blame them really.


    ¡°The engine says that the problem with most of the people that have been brought into the machine¡¯s world is that they have it too easy with all these tutorials and handholding,¡± Typewriter reluctantly divulged.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Karma asked, her arms crossed over her chest.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t make for good stories when everything is easy for the characters,¡± Typewriter went on. ¡°The engine says that¡¯s why the stories aren¡¯t coming out. There¡¯s nothing with enough tension to make for good storytelling.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s absurd reasoning that is just to justify your pathetic sadism,¡± Karma fumed.


    ¡°Actually,¡± Cliff waved a sheaf of papers at her. ¡°Have you read it?¡±


    ¡°Not yet,¡± Karma admitted. ¡°I was helping the adventurers get settled in.¡±


    ¡°And that¡¯s the problem,¡± Pail had the nerve to say. It was normally quiet and content to clean, but every once in a while, when it had something to say, it was wise. ¡°Here is the story of your adventurers.¡± Pail hopped over with a small stack of a few pages. ¡°There is little to actually write about compared to the story in Cliff¡¯s hands.¡±


    ¡°This is good,¡± Cliff said, turning a page and handing Karma the stack he¡¯d read already.


    ¡°Royal Road good?¡± Karma asked, taking the stack reluctantly.


    ¡°Maybe,¡± Cliff answered. ¡°It¡¯s worth uploading.¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s not fair to them,¡± Karma complained, but she bent to read.


    Karma read. The facts were that they were doing it. They were not only creating a dungeon, but also a story. The machine hadn¡¯t gotten a new god card in a while because nothing had quite been good enough to upload to Royal Road. Karma uploaded the story and sat back to watch and wait. Maybe they weren¡¯t as miserable as they¡¯d looked?

 Chapter 8 - If You Give a Goblin a Sword

    ¡°Sealed up how?¡± Lacey asked.


    ¡°Same as the rooms you hadn¡¯t turned back on yet,¡± Colt shrugged, water dripping from his shoulders. ¡°I could look out, but I couldn¡¯t get out.¡±


    Lacey smacked her palm on the surface of the water. Lacey and Colt took turns using the pools to do other necessary things, the sluices being very handy for even private concerns. At least she¡¯d gotten some form of her indoor outhouse. She shook her head as she realized that what had seemed so important yesterday had become eclipsed by today¡¯s issues. Like how to keep a town of adventurers out of their dungeon long enough to recover from Hughe. Considering that Hughe had thought of himself as a nobody in such a town, they needed to be able to build something that was not only self-sustaining, but that could withstand adventurers that were better than Hughe.


    ¡°Wait,¡± Lacey called to where Colt had his back to her for her to do her private stuff. The sluice had already carried away any evidence of their perfectly human bodily functions. ¡°Was it light out?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt frowned for a moment, but smiled as realization hit, turning to face her. ¡°Yeah! So, we have at least a whole night to prepare. It was bright, really bright, but that could have been because the caves are so dark.¡±


    ¡°At least we have the night though,¡± Lacey grabbed onto that, still wringing water out of almost clean clothes.


    ¡°But is that one night? Or a hundred years of nights?¡± Colt pondered out loud. ¡°What if the dungeon went into fast forward last night? That could make more sense than the idea that we slept for a hundred years.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think we¡¯d be that lucky again,¡± Lacey shook her head. ¡°Besides, Hughe said he¡¯d been working to clear the dungeon for a week, and we slept through that.¡±


    ¡°It was worth a thought,¡± Colt said, as they walked shoulder to shoulder back to the spiral stairs.


    ¡°Break time¡¯s over,¡± Lacey agreed with his unspoken nudge to return to work. They took the stairs with Lacey in front this time. ¡°But if I find a change of clothes that didn¡¯t belong to an adventurer twice my size in that store, I¡¯m buying it.¡±


    ¡°How are you going to know what size it is?¡± Colt teased her. Hughe¡¯s clothing had been too small for Colt and too large for Lacey.


    ¡°I¡¯ll just have to buy some to find out,¡± she answered, but thought better of it as she was still dripping. ¡°But do you think we could go warm ourselves by one of the goblin fires? I don¡¯t want to know if the tablet here is waterproof.¡±


    ¡°You think they have a fire started?¡± Colt asked, heading for the door to the goblins.


    ¡°I¡¯m hoping,¡± Lacey said through shivering teeth.


    The remade goblins were as industrious as the previous ones, if not a little more so. Not only did they have a fire going, but they¡¯d also hung up some of the extra meat from the boar to smoke. It was such a good idea that Colt went back to fetch what was left of their boar to give to the goblins. They¡¯d been hungry, but the boar had been more than even ten goblins could eat at one sitting. They sat at the fire, Lacey trying to ignore the fact that at least one of the girl goblins reminded her of Eve.


    Lacey couldn¡¯t help but think that she and Colt must look pretty pitiful for gods, her shivering and not making eye contact while Colt brooded as he watched the flames. It didn¡¯t take them long to warm up, but in that time, the goblins had put the room to rights and almost paired off in groups to start their mining right back up again, one partner picking away at walls while the other lugged the buckets back and forth to the control room. It made Lacey feel guilty to just sit there while the goblins worked diligently at something that would be almost worthless by morning.Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    ¡°Do you think if we gave them swords that they¡¯d do something other than mining?¡± Colt¡¯s voice broke the silence. Colt hadn¡¯t put the sword down since they¡¯d taken it off of Hughe, but now he stared at it contemplatively.


    ¡°I can buy a few more swords at least,¡± Lacey told him, shrugging toward a goblin. ¡°Give it a shot.¡±


    ¡°Sure,¡± Colt nodded, but she could see that he didn¡¯t want to give up what he considered his sword now.


    ¡°Fine,¡± Lacey used Colt¡¯s reluctance as an excuse to get up and moving again. ¡°I¡¯m dry enough. Let¡¯s go make some swords.¡±


    ¡°And clothes?¡± Colt looked hopeful.


    ¡°Hopefully ones that can fit us too,¡± Lacey smiled encouragingly.


    They had to buy a dozen sets of clothing to get a size that fit each of them. The rest went to grateful goblins. They did the same with the leather armor and some boots. The swords that came out of the pedestal weren¡¯t the same quality as the one Hughe had dropped, but the goblins didn¡¯t know the difference. Once armed and armored, the goblins changed what they did. Instead of the industrious workers they¡¯d been before, the goblins began to spar with each other, play a game of dice and generally eat more than they did only moments before being armed.


    Lacey popped out a dozen extra goblins to take up the chores that the fighting goblins had left behind. This created a hierarchy that annoyed Colt, but even after he took the swords away from the fighter goblins, they were stuck in those roles. It seemed that once they upgraded, the goblins didn¡¯t go back to a lower social status.


    ¡°It¡¯s just so frustrating!¡± Lacey banged her head on the pedestal in frustration, having forgotten her fear of being eaten by the space that took in coal and debris from the worker goblins. ¡°Nothing I do seems to be right.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t think of it like that, Lace,¡± Colt tried to console her while wrestling a sword away from another goblin who had come into the control room to make demands for food. The fighters had gobbled up the food, their stomachs extending out of their previously well-fitting armor. ¡°It¡¯s just that it¡¯s a learning curve is all.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not learning fast enough,¡± she thumped her head over and over. ¡°Every mistake sets us back! We have to be ready for invaders by morning. How did Adam and Eve make all this work?¡±


    ¡°We gave Eve a broom?¡± Colt shrugged, shooing the now sulking goblin out of the room and placing its sword on the table.


    Lacey looked up hopefully.


    ¡°That and they grew naturally over a century or so?¡± he added, which had her slumping dramatically over the pedestal.


    ¡°This pedestal is stupid!¡± Lacey looked down at a screen she hadn¡¯t seen before. There was a picture of a female goblin that looked like an older version of Eve and one of Adam. Beside each was a cost. Lacey had gotten a feel for the money notation system in that she hadn¡¯t figured out exact numbers, but if one of the quadrants of the overall numbers was missing, the price was relatively low with the upper right quadrant being the single digits. The upper left quadrant denoted hundreds of credits. The lower right quadrant denoted thousands and the lower left quadrant denoted tens of thousands. The cost was in what Lacey thought was the low hundreds, so Lacey took a chance and hit Eve¡¯s face.


    ¡°Minion resurrected,¡± the pedestal voice intoned as Eve materialized.


    ¡°No way!¡± Lacey breathed out, running to hug Eve.


    ¡°Eve!¡± Colt rushed to the older goblin to pat her on the back.


    ¡°Greetings Masters!¡± Eve said with a toothy smile.


    ¡°Are the rest of them in there too?¡± Colt asked, rushing back to the pedestal and hitting the picture of Adam, who materialized next to Eve. The two goblins gibbered to each other excitedly, then turned to see a fighter goblin rush into the control room with a surly look on its face. It was one of the girl goblins that Colt had already taken a sword from for being too obnoxious. It was like the female goblins were just a tad more nasty than the male ones that were made into fighters.


    ¡°I only saw Adam and Eve,¡± Lacey called out over the growls that were coming from Eve and the new fighter-type goblin.


    ¡°I pushed Adam, and he showed up, but there¡¯s nothing else here,¡± Colt complained. ¡°We named them. Could that be the difference?¡±


    The fighter girl goblin rushed at Eve. Eve snarled angrily, as did Adam beside her. They might have been smaller, but they weren¡¯t pushovers. Fighter goblin dashed forward, but Eve smacked her across the face with a rake of long nasty nails. Adam kicked out at the new goblin, but she put out an arm into his stomach and he sprawled back by the table, swiping at Eve with her other hand. Eve went skidding backward but stayed on her feet and braced.


    ¡°Quick,¡± Lacey called to Colt, ¡°give Eve a sword!¡±


    ¡°What if she turns into a jerk like the other fighter types?¡± Colt paused, disastrously.

 Chapter 9 - Password Reset

    Eve and the fighter goblin almost disappeared into a snarling whirl of goblin wrestling.  Lacey wracked her brain for something to summon from the pedestal that could help Eve, but it was all happening so quickly that she barely managed to navigate to the store before things got worse.  Adam grabbed a sword from the table and dove into the fight while Colt stared on in helpless dismay.


    ¡°Stop!¡± Colt yelled, but they didn¡¯t listen.  So much for them being gods.


    Even as the girl fighter goblin was ripping out Eve¡¯s throat with her teeth, Adam was plunging the sword deep into the girl goblin¡¯s back.  What they ended up with was a pile of goblin mess on the floor.


    ¡°Eve,¡± Colt whispered out, then before Lacey could say anything, he was jumping forward and stabbing the corpse of the girl fighter goblin over and over.


    Adam was holding a dead Eve in his arms and looking at Lacey with those hopeful eyes that she remembered.  Lacey looked down at her display, but the screen was gone.  She¡¯d gone back to the store.  She had no idea how she¡¯d gotten there to begin with except that she was banging her head on the pedestal and cursing.  Lacey, at a loss of what else to do, banged her head on the pedestal and swore every curse she knew.  When she looked up, it was still the store.


    ¡°Bring her back!¡± Colt had finally looked back up and was panting.  He looked a bit like a madman.  The stress of it all had worn through his jovial masks to bubble up to the surface.


    ¡°I¡¯m trying, Colt, I swear!¡± Lacey yelled back, banging her head on the pedestal again.  ¡°It¡¯s this useless pedestal!  It¡¯s like it hates me, I swear.¡±


    ¡°You got there before!¡± Colt was ranting, but Lacey didn¡¯t blame him for it.


    ¡°You want me to summon a broom, I can do that, but Eve was a fluke,¡± Lacey yelled back at him, smacking the pedestal as hard as she dared.


    The screen flicked to Eve¡¯s face and Lacey smacked the picture so quickly, the thing would have cracked if it had been the least bit delicate.  As the dead Eve dissolved, a new Eve took her place in the same place as all the summoned critters materialized.  Adam looked down at his empty arms with a whimper until Eve¡¯s voice cut the air.


    ¡°Greetings Masters!¡±


    Adam looked up with hopeful beady eyes and rushed to Eve, who happily gibbered at him and patted him on the head.


    ¡°You did it,¡± Colt whispered over them, his temper cooled as quickly as it had lit.


    ¡°I got lucky,¡± Lacey murmured back, but she was staring at a blank screen and trying to figure out how it had worked.  Luck wasn¡¯t going to serve them here.  She needed something solid and consistent, not capricious like luck could be.


    ¡°I¡¯ll take it,¡± Colt smiled at Eve and Adam, even as he moved himself between them and the door, where other goblins were poking in.  Only Colt, with a sword, wearing leather armor, stood between our favorite goblins and the pack behind them.  ¡°Anyone touches my buddies and I¡¯m going to lop off heads!¡± he said to the crowd coming in.


    ¡°Language settings,¡± Lacey called out and smacked the display.  A new display appeared, and Lacey held her breath, trying to decipher some of the symbols on the page.  She scrolled down, over, and around until she finally found a single line in a language she could read.  With a vicious poke, she chose the line that said, ¡°English, common.¡±


    ¡°Language settings updated,¡± the voice intoned.  ¡°Device locked.¡±


    ¡°Locked?¡± Lacey snarled at it, quickly darting to another page only to find that the screens had not suddenly been switched over to something she could read.  They were still in runes.  She pounded her fists on the pedestal and screamed at it in frustration, ¡°How are you still locked?  Unlock!  Unlock before the dungeon gets a full wipe again, you stupid piece of shit!!¡±


    ¡°Unlock requires password,¡± the voice answered her dispassionately.


    ¡°Password?!¡± Lacey screeched out, her own temper erupting.  ¡°How could I have a password if I never set a password to begin with?¡±


    ¡°Would you like to reset your password?¡± the voice asked.


    ¡°Yes!!¡± Lacey and Colt said together.  Colt had herded the other goblins out the door and closed it with a stern look.  It turned out he could command the goblins if they weren¡¯t enraged.  Luckily, the splintered door had been repaired when Lacey had reset the rooms from that dull red to green.  While the reset of the rooms had repaired most of the damage, the colony still had a lot of stuff to clean up from Hughe¡¯s destructive tendencies.


    ¡°Password reset sent to your dmail box,¡± the voice answered.


    ¡°What dmail?¡± Lacey asked, but the voice had gone silent.  Lacey deflated, but not because her temper had eased.  Her temper tended to last for days and settle in grudges that could last decades.  Lacey¡¯s temper was still simmering helplessly swirling a cocktail of mind-numbing chemicals into her brain in a way that made it impossible to think clearly.


    ¡°Broom?¡± Eve asked, tsking at the dust on the floor.  Lacey wasn¡¯t sure how long she¡¯d stood there in the chemical storm of her temper, but Eve¡¯s hopeful face had her taking a really deep breath.The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.


    Lacey pulled up the store and ordered a broom.  Colt took it from where it hovered over the display, but before he could offer it to the little goblin, she snatched it out of his hands and began sweeping the room, Adam chucklingly following her directions as she pointed to a wall and gibbered at him.


    ¡°Pick?¡± Adam asked, his green hand held out patiently.


    Colt ordered up the pick and handed it to the goblin who went to a wall and started to chip away at it.  All the while, Adam and Eve were gibbering to each other like they had the world to catch up on.  Lacey stared too long at them, then glared down at the pedestal.


    ¡°You banged on it and asked,¡± Colt told her, shooing out another couple of nosy goblins who had poked their way in through the stairwell to the river room.  ¡°Try that again.¡±


    ¡°Dmail,¡± Lacey demanded, thinking it an idiotically simplistic version of what she¡¯d done.


    Colt rushed to another of their doors to close them as well.


    ¡°It worked, but the dmail is also requiring a password,¡± Lacey banged her head against the screen again, but with less force than before.


    ¡°Reset it?¡± Colt suggested.


    Lacey tried.  It took a total of 14 resets before the system finally realized that Lacey and Colt were actually authorized to reset and access the system.  Dmail required a fingerprint, which didn¡¯t match the records.  The fingerprint required the last four digits of her universal ID number, which no one in the dungeon had.  The universal ID could be obtained from the system with a DNA sample and proof of dungeon location.  The DNA sample could only be reset with authorization from current dungeon master of record of the dungeon, which could only be proved by providing a proof of previous dungeon master¡¯s demise in the form of dead DNA.  Without proof of previous dungeon master¡¯s demise, one had to appeal to the court of miseries (not the actual name) for an exception.  The court was closed indefinitely due to plague but was available by remote in the case of emergencies.  Accessing the emergency screen for court was only available once a person signed into another system access portal, which luckily was accepting new accounts that only had to be proved by following a link in the dmail.  That led to an alternate reset option which required the blood samples of two creatures created by the current dungeon master, an act that could only be accomplished by a dungeon master with emergency access to pedestal services upon the death of previous dungeon master.  They took the blood from what was left of the fight between Eve and the fighter goblin and gently wrung out a strip of cloth off of the goblin fighter for each of them into the hazy acceptance portal.


    ¡°Emergency unlock scheduled two moons from the next dawn or ten business days,¡± the voice told them.


    ¡°Exception requested,¡± Lacey tried the key word that had gotten them through the last four reset stumbles.


    ¡°Exception denied,¡± the voice replied officiously.  ¡°Waiting period not waivable for emergency unlocks under section 14.12.11 due to massive loophole misuse.¡±


    ¡°Lacey, give it up,¡± Colt begged her, coming back into the control room.  ¡°I just checked the surface opening, and it is definitely nighttime.  We don¡¯t have time for another 3-hour runaround.¡±


    ¡°Two weeks,¡± Lacey complained on a full whine that only ridiculous bureaucracy could cause for her.  They¡¯d experienced enough of it when Lacey had applied for college financial aid.


    ¡°It¡¯s better than never?¡± Colt tried to assuage her whine.


    ¡°We¡¯re going to be dead by morning anyway,¡± Lacey threw up her hands in defeat and threw herself into one of the chairs at the table.


    ¡°Then let¡¯s throw the money at it and arm them all up for Hughe¡¯s return,¡± Colt suggested with a laugh.  ¡°If it took him a week to get through unarmed goblins.  It¡¯ll take a lot longer to get through armed ones, right?¡±


    ¡°Or, with our luck,¡± Lacey continued to whine, ¡°he¡¯ll summon the whole town to come clear it out in record time.  Besides, if we arm them all, they¡¯ll as likely kill us as any intruders.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not that bad,¡± Colt sat down next to her and laid a heavy hand on her shoulder.  ¡°The goblins can¡¯t hurt us.  I don¡¯t think any of our denizens can.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Lacey finally looked up at Colt with a sprig of not-defeat.


    ¡°I had to push back a half dozen fighter goblins from the door to the control room and they might have growled, but they didn¡¯t attack me,¡± he offered.


    ¡°That¡¯s because you¡¯re the size of a truck,¡± she blew him off with a shrug, fully engaged with her sulk.  Eve and Adam had settled down for the night in a set of furs that Lacey had ordered from the pedestal between requests for resets.  ¡°They¡¯d eat me.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± Colt shook his head.  ¡°They backed off at the river too.  The fighter attacked Eve, not us and I think I understand why.¡±


    ¡°Yeah?¡± she gave him a tired look.


    ¡°It¡¯s a dominance thing,¡± Colt explained.  ¡°Remember how Dougie did all that dog-walking for a while?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡±  Dougie was one of Colt¡¯s older brothers and he¡¯d been starting one business after another for all the time that Lacey had known them.


    ¡°He would watch these old shows on how to tame crazy dogs like he could be the next dog whisperer, right?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, so?¡±


    ¡°These goblins are a lot like dogs,¡± Colt shrugged and leaned back in his chair.  ¡°We¡¯re still the owners, so we¡¯re out of bounds for the game, but the dogs or goblins in this case, have their own alpha crap going on.¡±


    ¡°And we want Eve to be the alpha, right?¡±


    ¡°Well, yeah, but we can¡¯t do that for her,¡± Colt explained.  ¡°She was the alpha when all they had were workers, probably because she was the bossiest and best at getting things done, but now she¡¯s one of the older goblins and not as strong because I think those goblins out there are a level higher because the dungeon is a level higher, right?¡±


    ¡°And the fighters are more alpha than the workers, which is why they¡¯re out there jostling for position,¡± Lacey followed his reasoning.


    ¡°Right,¡± Colt spread his hands.  ¡°Eventually, they¡¯ll settle down to a point that there¡¯s a chief or something because we introduced the swords, changing the purpose of their society.¡±


    ¡°Oh,¡± Lacey groaned.  ¡°Is it too late to kill them all and start over?  It¡¯s not like just the ten of them cost that much and we can still use the swords or recycle them or something.¡±


    ¡°Well, maybe as a last resort,¡± Colt brushed that thought aside and rushed on.  ¡°But I think chosen-by-the-gods might trump strongest-fighter if we shift the societal makeup a little.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s what got us in this mess, and we only have until morning,¡± Lacey squawked, more because she was feeling too frustrated and tired for an anthropology lesson.  She¡¯d known letting him help her study for college would bite her in the ass someday.  ¡°The type of shift you¡¯re talking about takes years.¡±


    ¡°Or godly interference,¡± Colt gave her a shrewd look.


    ¡°You already have some idea,¡± Lacey pushed her chair back from the table to go back to the pedestal.  ¡°Just spit it out already, but I can already tell you that the pedestal is still worthless.¡±


    ¡°Maybe or maybe not,¡± he hedged, and she groaned.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been fighting it for hours and,¡± her voice trailed off.  He knew that already.  ¡°Just spit it out and we¡¯ll try it.  I¡¯m ready to try anything as long as it doesn¡¯t have anything to do with resetting passwords or accounts.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± he rubbed his hands together as she took her place at the pedestal.  ¡°Have you asked it about magic?¡±

 Chapter 10 - If You Give a Goblin a Name

    By dawn, Lacey¡¯s eyes were burning again. They¡¯d spent an alarming amount of their capital on the improvements. Was there magic in the store? Yes. Yes, there was. But magic was very expensive. Still, it had made just enough of a difference that Lacey and Colt now had a stable societal system for their goblin tribe, which they had repopulated to about half of what had been there before.


    A small worker girl goblin was sweeping an already spotless floor, and breakfast was the leftovers of a side of beef that had been part of the celebratory feast after they¡¯d crowned Adam as chief with Eve as his high shaman. If the cleaning goblin had been able to wash the grit out of Lacey¡¯s eyes, she¡¯d have been in line as the next shaman. As it was, Lacey was rubbing her eyes when the lights in the chamber changed from the calm blue to red.


    ¡°Colt!¡± Lacey called out over Colt¡¯s snoring. At least he¡¯d gotten some sleep. Lacey had been afraid to go to sleep for fear of causing another of those 100-year sleeps. ¡°Colt!¡±


    Colt snorted awake and took too long to shake his sleep off. Lacey found her controls shut off except for the map option, which still blinked an ominous red, at least in the first room near the entrance. Lacey touched the pulsing room on the map and was surprised to see a close up appear on her screen.


    ¡°What are we looking at?¡± Colt watched the pedestal from an upside-down position.


    ¡°The entrance room,¡± Lacey answered, not that she knew much more than Colt at this point. It was like they had a black and white surveillance camera in the room.


    ¡°Hughe¡¯s back,¡± Colt commented unnecessarily.


    ¡°We knew he would be,¡± Lacey drawled out. Hughe was stomping into the dungeon in some armor that looked a little worse for wear and holding a sword that was only a third his height instead of half.


    ¡°He looks pissed,¡± Colt raked the fingers of both hands through his hair, still trying to wake up his brain. Hughe was poking at corners with the smaller sword, his scowl not much different from Colt¡¯s I-don¡¯t-want-to-wake-up face. Lacey just rolled her eyes


    ¡°You have about two minutes to wake up, buddy,¡± Lacey growled at Colt, who gave her a befuddled look. ¡°I¡¯ve been awake all night setting traps. You, at least, got a few hours¡¯ sleep.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s not going to make it all the way to here in two minutes,¡± Colt complained, but he moved to put on his leather armor anyway. Lacey hadn¡¯t taken hers off. She was more likely to slice off her own toes instead of poking an opponent with the sword, so she left the extra sword on the table, but wearing the armor was the least she could do.


    Hughe didn¡¯t spend much time exploring the first room. He just broke enough furniture to turn the room that dull red and moved on once the room seemed as deserted as he¡¯d left it. Lacey fumbled to follow him on the screens. It turned out that there was a back button, not that she could do much more than watch. It was a little like owning an escape room in that now that she had set the room, she was stuck here in the control room to watch helplessly as whoever was going through the dungeon tore apart her stuff.


    ¡°What?¡± Colt hustled a little more at Lacey¡¯s wince as she watched Hughe tear up a second room, breaking furniture that she had just fixed.


    ¡°He¡¯s moving to the third room now,¡± Lacey told Colt quietly, grateful that the alarms weren¡¯t sounding.


    ¡°He¡¯s fast,¡± Colt frowned, moving back to watch over Lacey¡¯s shoulder.


    ¡°And foolish,¡± she shook her head and flicked to the next room.


    ¡°Good for us,¡± Colt nodded, reaching around her to tap Hughe¡¯s image on the screen.


    ¡°Fighter, level 5,¡± the system¡¯s voice bloomed to life.


    ¡°What the hell?¡± Lacey swore. ¡°It didn¡¯t do that for me!¡±


    ¡°I just tried something, Lace,¡± Colt shrugged. ¡°Don¡¯t hate me because it worked.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s why we both need to be doing this stuff,¡± Lacey growled out. ¡°We need to be a team, so we get all that stuff that the other one doesn¡¯t see.¡±


    ¡°Fine,¡± Colt raised his eyebrows at her, which she ignored. ¡°Then you should come out with me the next time I explore the cave system. You¡¯ll see stuff I didn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Fair,¡± she admitted reluctantly. ¡°We didn¡¯t need to leave so many rooms unoccupied after all. He was convinced that the dungeon wasn¡¯t repopulated by the second room.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s worth it,¡± Colt insisted, watching Hughe plunge into room 6 and do just enough damage to turn it red. ¡°How does he seem to know just how much damage to do to turn it red?¡±


    ¡°Maybe he gets a notice for defeating it?¡± Lacey suggested.


    ¡°He must,¡± Colt nodded. ¡°He isn¡¯t smart enough to figure it out like that every time.¡±


    Lacey flicked ahead to room 7 to watch Hughe storm in recklessly only to be surrounded by two dozen goblins armored and armed well enough to have him skidding to a stop. There was dialogue that they didn¡¯t hear and then chaos. The screen had an overlay on it that was three quarters green and one quarter red. They could still see through it.Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.


    Eve cast a spell from the back of the pack of goblins and each goblin grew by two inches. Two front goblins dove swords viciously at Hughe, who could only pull back to avoid them. Rather than engage them, Hughe did something smarter than Colt or Lacey had given him credit for. He backed out and back into the tunnel behind him.


    ¡°Don¡¯t fall for it, Eve,¡± Colt muttered to himself.


    But goblins weren¡¯t all that bright. The two gruntlike fighter goblins followed Hughe forward, where he only had to fight one at a time. Two goblins fell before Eve pulled them back.


    ¡°At least she¡¯s learning,¡± Lacey worried at the skin around her fingernails.


    ¡°I should be down there,¡± Colt fidgeted with pulling the breast of his armor down.


    ¡°By the time you got there, it would be over,¡± Lacey argued, not wanting to try to figure out whether she could resurrect Colt. ¡°Look, she¡¯s already recovered.¡±


    Eve was casting at Hughe, who looked like he was swearing as he backed up down the corridor.


    ¡°Is that the poison dart spell?¡± Colt asked.


    ¡°It looks like it,¡± Lacey said, tapping Hughe¡¯s picture again.


    ¡°Fighter, level 5, wounded, poisoned,¡± the voice told them.


    ¡°That¡¯s handy,¡± Colt said, but as Lacey looked behind her, she realized that he was headed for the door.


    ¡°You can¡¯t go down there,¡± Lacey argued with him, turning from the screen. There wasn¡¯t much she could do but watch anyway.


    ¡°Our goblins are dying,¡± Colt shuffled backward to the door with a shrug to Lacey. ¡°I can¡¯t just sit and watch.¡±


    ¡°She has it handled,¡± Lacey pleaded as his hand hit the door handle.


    ¡°I¡¯m going,¡± he insisted, and her heart sank.


    The door didn¡¯t open. Colt tugged on it and swore. He¡¯d sworn more in the last few days than the last year. Lacey started to relax, but Colt¡¯s eyebrows lowered in a way that kicked her alarms back up. When Colt got stubborn, he was nigh unreasonable. Lacey rolled her eyes and turned back to the screen even as Colt slammed his shoulder into the door. It was just another thing she¡¯d have to fix once it was over. Which happened quickly. Two slams of Colt¡¯s shoulder was all it took before the lights changed to blue.


    ¡°Dungeon invasion repelled,¡± the system told them, and Lacey whooped with joy even as Colt fell forward through the now-open door. ¡°Dungeon experience awarded. Goblin shaman Eve has gained a level. Goblin chief Adam has gained a level. 2 unnamed goblin fighters have gained a level. 2 unnamed goblin fighters defeated. 6 rooms defeated.¡±


    Lacey quickly tapped Eve¡¯s image on the screen.


    ¡°Goblin shaman, level 1,¡± the system replied.


    ¡°Adam wasn¡¯t even in the room, and he got experience,¡± Lacey called out to Colt, but he was gone. ¡°Colt?¡±


    Lacey turned from the screen and bolted after where Colt had disappeared to. She¡¯d had her eyes glued to a screen for what could only have been a day and full night. Her vision blurred a bit as she forced her legs into more exercise than she¡¯d had in what might have been a hundred years. She figured maybe she was lucky she could run at all.


    ¡°Dungeon entrance compromised. Please restore entrance to attract more adventurers,¡± she heard the dungeon tell them even though she was two rooms away from the control room.


    Maybe it was the blood flowing all throughout her body or maybe it was just that her mind was thinking slower than normal, but Lacey felt like she was missing something important again. She darted into another room full of worms and nearly skidded out of her own skin backpedaling out of it. Wouldn¡¯t that be just like her to get lost in a dungeon she created, not that she¡¯d done all this digging.


    ¡°Colt!¡± Lacey called out, realizing that she didn¡¯t really know the layout as well as she should. She tried to remember the map in her head, but a map looked different when a person was standing in the middle of the 3d version of it.


    ¡°Dammit Colt!¡± Lacey backed out of the worm room and slammed the door only to find a worker goblin boy standing behind her.


    ¡°Colt?¡± the worker goblin asked, his head cocked to the side and hand held out tentatively.


    ¡°You can take me to Colt?¡± Lacey asked, not used to the goblins talking to her. Sure, they¡¯d all starting out saying, ¡°Greetings Masters,¡± but that had been followed by mostly grunted pointing and posturing.


    ¡°Colt with Eve,¡± the goblin nodded and waved her away from the worm cave.


    Lacey took the goblin¡¯s hand and let him lead her to a little trap door in the ceiling of the previous cave. Again, Lacey could have kicked herself for not looking up. Still, it was like the whole dungeon was keyed against her. It wasn¡¯t an escape room. They didn¡¯t have access to puzzles or even a lot of resources and there were a ton of rules that everyone seemed to know but her! She hadn¡¯t seen the footholds because they were chipped into the side of the stone wall like a bookcase. What escape room did that? If they¡¯d climbed the bookcase in an escape room, they¡¯d have been yanked out of the experience for being unsafe.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± Lacey told the goblin as she climbed up the stone bookcase and pushed on the trap door that didn¡¯t budge. It was only made of stiffened furs so she could have ripped it, but there had to be a way that wouldn¡¯t cost her something to fix.


    ¡°Knock 2, knock 1,¡± the goblin at the base of the stairs told her, tapping one fist against a flat green palm in the secret knock.


    Lacey knocked and shook her head. She didn¡¯t give the goblins enough credit.


    ¡°Thanks again, Herbert,¡± Lacey named the goblin with a wave. She was pretty sure that they could only revive goblins they named and a goblin like him was one she wanted to keep.


    The fur above Lacey lifted up letting her climb up into a new level. Another worker goblin helped pull her up and lowered the sleeping furs behind her. Had Hughe found that secret door to get all the way to them the first time? Maybe he wasn¡¯t so stupid, but then again, he¡¯d had a week.


    ¡°Colt?¡± she called out again, but this goblin didn¡¯t move to help her find her partner this time. She wandered four rooms before finding another not-bookcase to climb up. The password was the same as was the pile of sleeping furs that hid the hole in the stone floor. Lacey realized that Hughe didn¡¯t have to be all that smart to figure it out when it repeated. Was that something she could fix? Colt had been right in that she had needed to explore the actual rooms to get a feel for what was being done and how they could improve it. That didn¡¯t mean she was going to tell him that, especially after he¡¯d made her trek all the way up what felt like a hundred levels to find him.


    Lacey looked up at another bookcase and groaned. She looked back at the furs on the ground behind her.


    ¡°Why am I chasing his butt anyway?¡± she asked another worker goblin, who started sweeping faster rather than answer. ¡°I could be sleeping. He got some sleep. I could just curl up on the trap door and then he¡¯d have to pass me. He could wake me up instead. Yeah, that¡¯s the ticket. I¡¯ll take a nap.¡±


    Lacey let her eyes drift closed; a dozen furs piled on top of her in a bed that was much more comfortable than she¡¯d thought it would be. She¡¯d just take a quick nap.

 Chapter 11 - Fibe More Mibutes, Mom

    ¡°Lace,¡± came the gently laughing voice of her best friend in the whole world. It was a better wake-up call than she¡¯d had recently, but it was still unwelcome. ¡°Lace!¡± and a hand jiggled her shoulder.


    ¡°Fibe more mibutes,¡± Lacey slurred into her pillow, spitting out a tuft of hair that had worked its way into the side of her drooling mouth.


    ¡°You came out into the dungeon and promptly fell asleep?¡± came Colt¡¯s good-heartedly chiding voice.


    ¡°I dibn¡¯t prompty do nuffin,¡± she rolled over and glared up at his grinning face, wiping her mouth on a mostly clean shirt sleeve. ¡°I¡¯ll have you know that I purposepully, purposefuldy, purpose¡­ yeah whatever. I got up a ton of those stupid bookcases to get here.¡±


    ¡°Uh, huh,¡± he patted her head.


    ¡°I just fibured I¡¯d get a nick quap,¡± she swatted away his hand and noticed the squad of goblins staring at her around his bulk.


    Eve was pushing aside the looky-loos and even nudged at Colt to tsk as she pulled something out of Lacey¡¯s hair. Lacey gave Eve a stink eye, but didn¡¯t stop her.


    ¡°I have words in my mouth somewhere,¡± Lacey snarled out, wiping a hand over her face again to try to rub her mind into working. ¡°I¡¯d have more words if we had coffee.¡±


    ¡°Time to get back to work, Sleeping Beauty,¡± Colt snickered at her, and it was what her mind needed to jump start straight into totally annoyed. He held out a hand to help her up, but she smacked it away and levered herself to her feet.


    ¡°Coffee,¡± she growled. Colt might be the only person in the world to be able to tease her like this, but he made up for it by putting up with her playful grouching. Maybe only they¡¯d know it was joking, but it helped settle them both to do something normal. ¡°How long have I been out?¡±


    ¡°If I had coffee, I¡¯d truly be a god of the dungeon, but you haven¡¯t given me long enough at the pedestal to try to find it,¡± Colt sounded far too reasonable. ¡°I was trying to fix what I could manually of those rooms that turned red. The goblins were helping, but I¡¯m not sure how well we did until we can check it on the pedestal. I¡¯d say you¡¯ve probably been asleep more than an hour or two, but less than you need.¡±


    ¡°You want to try your hand at the pedestal, Mr. Smarty Pants?¡± Lacey waved her hand around in a way that made all but Eve step back from her. ¡°Fine! You go burn your eyes out on that thing while I take a nap and explore the caverns. Whadya wake me up for anyway then?¡±


    ¡°You were blocking the way down,¡± Colt replied reasonably again, pointing behind her at the furs she¡¯d been sleeping on. It was infuriating.


    ¡°Oh,¡± she moved away from the furs, letting the goblin fighting troop precede Colt down.


    ¡°Take a nap, explore, or whatever you want for a while so I can have some screen time, ok?¡± Colt gave her a salute as he ducked down under the furs and disappeared.


    ¡°You¡¯re just lucky I¡¯m so tired or I¡¯d have a scathing reply to that taunt, asshole,¡± Lacey muttered under her breath, the still-sweeping goblin now wide-eyed and furtively trying to avoid Lacey.


    Lacey blew out a breath and squinted around the little room. It was obvious that it was a room that the goblins had dug out of the mountain and not one of her making. The floor wasn¡¯t smooth, for one thing. It was an odd shape for another. It was like the goblins had followed the veins of coal and hollowed out sections that would make big enough caves for living in. The furs weren¡¯t the ones the dungeon made, but more like stitched together bat fur, though if that was bat fur, the bats had grown into things she didn¡¯t want to know about.


    There wasn¡¯t a cooking fire in this one, but there seemed to be one cooking fire per level of rooms. The cooking fire was always in the room with the stone bookcase. Not every cave was populated, but there were enough workers to be busting their humps on each level to keep clean or cook at the fire.


    Two levels up, Lacey found the painting caves that Colt had mentioned. The mining had hit a wall of what looked like it might be limestone. Onto the porous rock had been scratched hundreds of crude drawings, the first of which might have faded completely if someone hadn¡¯t scratched over it again and again. They¡¯d used the burned coal, primarily, to make the first drawings, but later drawings used colors that might have come from blood and some kind of glowing substance that probably came from the worms or moss that Lacey had given those worms.If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    As Lacey examined the room, she was more impressed with the way the goblins had planted the moss into cracks along the ceiling than any of the artwork they¡¯d created. Once she started to really look, the original torches had been sort of reproduced by someone having stuck a clump of the moss on a stick to make it look like the original torch. These torches were a more yellowish color than the red of fire, but Lacey admonished herself for not noticing earlier.


    Lacey climbed up another two levels before she ran into a goblin that explained how they were using the water from the lowest cavern. A single goblin stood on the shoulders of another worker who held up a bucket to the one opening the trap door. A pail of water was passed up and a pail of coal was passed down. Lacey reached to help, but the goblins appeared mortified to have their task taken over by her, so she backed off until they were through.


    Lacey didn¡¯t know what drove her to it, but she climbed until she found the entrance room. It was just as Colt had said in that she couldn¡¯t exit the dungeon, but the sight of the sun was worth the climb. What she could see consisted of densely packed trees, but if she lay down on the ground, she could just see the sun poking up over the tops of the nearest trees. It wasn¡¯t one of her best ideas, and honestly she hadn¡¯t thought on it much, but Lacey fell asleep there at the entrance, the warmth of the sun on her cheek.


    A stretch and a yawn were followed by a very low groan as Lacey hit her hand on a cave wall and pushed off the hard ground beneath her. If the entrance had been permeable, she¡¯d have fallen out into the forest beyond as she yelped. It was not the best idea to wake up to the face of a grinning goblin looking over a person, but it did manage to wake a person up very quickly.


    ¡°Greetings Mistress!¡± the goblin held out a hand that Lacey tried to scurry away from except that the only way to scurry away was up a wall.


    Lacey closed her eyes and counted to ten. ¡°How ya doing, Adam?¡±


    ¡°Adam is protecting Lacey,¡± Adam stated, clearly proud of his assignment. He and the half dozen goblins behind him were all proudly guarding her idiot ass because she was sitting at the very entrance to the dungeon.


    ¡°Good job, Adam,¡± Lacey gave Adam a thumbs up.


    Seven goblins gibbered to each other and fiddled with their hands until they too had a thumbs up to give back to her. Lacey chuckled and made herself stand and turn her back on the view of the darkened forest behind her.


    ¡°Too bad we can¡¯t bring in some of that wood, huh Adam?¡± Lacey stuck a thumb over her shoulder at the entrance behind her.


    ¡°Want wood?¡± Adam asked and then grunted at two of his goblins.


    The guard goblins dashed out the entrance while Lacey stood there with her mouth hanging open. They could only gather the wood on the ground, which was relatively rotten, but they dashed back in with armloads of the stuff. Lacey spent the time trying to get out herself, but the entrance was not permeable to her like it was to them. It was yet another assumption she¡¯d made that she shouldn¡¯t have that because she couldn¡¯t go out, neither could their minions.


    Did Colt know yet? It changed a lot to have access to wood and she knew that there were axes in the store. If they armed their workers with axes, they could not only gather wood, but other things from the outside. A basket could maybe gather berries. And what would those things unlock on the pedestal? Lacey rubbed her hands together and grinned at Adam, who grinned back making Lacey grin slightly less.


    ¡°Okay, Moe and Larry,¡± Lacey named the two daring goblins who had braved the outside. ¡°Go get me pine needles, as many as you can carry.¡±


    The two dashed back out the door after Adam gibbered at them, likely explaining what the pine needles were.


    ¡°And you, Curley and Shemp,¡± Lacey addressed the next two eager goblins. ¡°Go dig up those bushes and let¡¯s replant them nearer to the entrance here.¡±


    They looked confused, so she explained it to Adam who then gibbered at them excitedly.


    ¡°Hide entrance,¡± Adam nodded, a gleam in his eyes.


    ¡°Maybe not well, but it¡¯s something to start with,¡± Lacey told him.


    The final two goblins refused to leave the cave because they couldn¡¯t leave her unguarded, but Lacey rounded up some workers to send out with the goblin fighters guarding them to do her bidding.


    ¡°Adam,¡± Lacey turned to the chief, her mind spinning with possibilities. ¡°Can you go tell Colt that I need axes, baskets, and two dozen worker goblins?¡±


    ¡°Axes, baskets, and workers?¡± Adam repeated and Lacey nodded, shoving him back into the cave. The problem with that was that goblins couldn¡¯t count higher than 3. Lacey sent him back a few more times until she got all the workers she needed.


    Once again, Lacey worked through the night. She taught worker goblins to weave baskets out of pine needles, something Colt¡¯s mother took up one summer and forced all the kids to do. Lacey sent a quick thanks to Colt¡¯s mom, wherever she was. She gave workers axes and sent them with guards to chop down trees, making sure that they cut down ones far enough away to not make a road directly to their dungeon. Once she had wood, she showed workers how to make crude ladders out of long branches.


    Colt might have explored, but Lacey was ready to change the dynamics of these adventurer scenarios. Once they had ten baskets for gathering workers to collect nuts, pinecones, and yes, there were berries, Lacey had the workers start to weave mats. Miners dug holes. She named every goblin that did a good job and handed a sword to the ones that were idiots. She had to send down for more workers until Adam came up to tell her that Colt was asleep.


    ¡°Fine, whatever,¡± Lacey was on a roll and her intensity took on new heights. She wasn¡¯t a trap expert for nothing. The most primitive puzzles were traps of one sort or another.

 Chapter 12 - If You Give a Goblin an Axe

    Lacey was still near the entrance when Hughe showed up again, and while Adam wasn¡¯t happy about that, she was the god and he did what she asked for the most part. The guard goblins shuffled their workers into the cave entrance as soon as Hughe was seen coming up the mountain to their little entrance. Two goblins used the woven ropes to pull two tall tree trunks up to block the entrance.


    ¡°You can¡¯t hide in there forever,¡± came Hughe¡¯s voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m not hiding,¡± Lacey called back out, Adam having to hold her back so that she didn¡¯t charge the entrance and poke a stick at Hughe¡¯s ugly face as it peered through the logs.


    ¡°It¡¯s child¡¯s play to move these logs,¡± Hughe asserted, using his sword to try to lever them out of the way.


    ¡°Why do you keep coming back anyway?¡± Lacey demanded. ¡°There¡¯s still no treasure here for you.¡±


    ¡°That may be true, but I¡¯m not coming back for normal treasure anymore,¡± Hughe¡¯s face was suffused in red as he growled through the logs over the entrance. The logs were little more than a decoy, but it was stalling him long enough to get information. It also gave the skilled workers some time to get down the ramps and alert the guards to come back up.


    ¡°Then why?¡± Lacey asked again.


    ¡°I asked around and found out that if I can wipe the dungeon and kill the dungeon masters, I can cash out the dungeon value in coinage,¡± he grinned at her like he was Jack Nicholson in a ski lodge.


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound like much,¡± Lacey tried to reason with him. ¡°We¡¯re just a baby dungeon after all.¡±


    ¡°Who¡¯s fault is that?¡± Hughe yelled, resorting to hacking at the logs in frustration. ¡°Your monsters are too low to give any more experience to me and the treasure isn¡¯t enough to get other adventurers to pay for admission, so this is my best play. It¡¯s your own darn fault for being such a shitty dungeon master.¡±


    ¡°And you could do better?¡± Lacey snorted derisively to goad him.


    ¡°Yeah, I could do better! Anyone could do better,¡± he taunted her back and she had to work to shrug off the insult. ¡°You need adventurers to come out here and work the dungeon in order to level up. If there¡¯s no one for your minions to kill, you just stagnate anyway.¡±


    And that hit Lacey like a fist to the stomach. Here she¡¯d been thinking that she needed to keep people out of her dungeon, but they had only leveled up to a measly level one because they¡¯d managed to kill Hughe the previous day. He was right and that was annoying. She¡¯d stayed up to try to taunt information out of him and she was getting it.


    ¡°I¡¯ve half a mind to take over the dungeon and prove I could do it better, but it¡¯s not my style,¡± Hughe huffed and returned to battering the logs.


    ¡°You can¡¯t do that, or you¡¯d have done it that first day,¡± Lacey threw at him, not sure at all or of anything anymore.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t know I could kill you both and take over that first time, but I know it now,¡± Hughe laughed as the log rolled away. Hughe hadn¡¯t needed to get all the logs pulled away to push his way into the entrance. Lacey felt a trickle of worry as he worked his way in, but Eve was behind her casting already.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think you can take us this time, Hughe,¡± Lacey tossed out. ¡°You did your research, but we¡¯ve had time to make some upgrades.¡±


    ¡°But your funds have to be getting low with no new adventures bringing in new resources,¡± Hughe grinned as he was hit by a poison dart. ¡°I came prepared this time.¡±


    The information was great, but now that Hughe was in the dungeon, Lacey was forced back by goblin guards that hustled her through a few rooms to give it some space. Hughe didn¡¯t even stagger at the poison dart. He must have had some remedy to be so sure of himself. Lacey bit her lip as they all jumped over the third pit trap they¡¯d covered with the mats and some gritty limestone dust.


    ¡°Poison resistance won¡¯t be enough, Hughe,¡± Lacey promised as he gave chase through the tunnels.


    A garbled holler came from behind them and Lacey smiled. ¡°You bitch!¡± Hughe was swearing and Lacey giggled, working her way back to watch. Had he really fallen into the very first pit trap?


    ¡°We¡¯re just protecting ourselves,¡± Lacey shrugged, peeking over the lip of the forty foot drop. ¡°You are the invader here.¡±


    ¡°This won¡¯t do any good,¡± Hughe said around a dozen more swear words. His leg was at an awful angle that looked incredibly painful. The stake through his thigh would probably bleed out before he stopped swearing. ¡°Next time I¡¯ll just come back with a bigger party and settle for a smaller finder¡¯s fee. A dozen guilds would love to just wipe the dungeon and put someone competent in charge.¡±


    ¡°What are you talking about?¡± Lacey frowned down into the darkness. The swearing was slowing down.


    ¡°You don¡¯t offer enough treasure for this level of challenge,¡± Hughe whined again around a mouthful of softer swearing.


    ¡°Why would I reward you for killing my minions?¡± Lacey defied his claims. ¡°That doesn¡¯t make any sense!¡±


    ¡°Why did I end up finding a totally stupid dungeon?¡± Hughe cursed some more, but he was fading. ¡°Look, adventurers want treasure, and they¡¯ll risk their lives for it but only if they have some chance of winning. I¡¯m not spending another 10 hours in a respawn cue for nothing. You don¡¯t get anything if you don¡¯t have adventurers brave the dungeon for treasure.¡±


    ¡°Damn that makes sense,¡± Lacey hated to agree with him. ¡°But, like, what kind of treasure?¡±


    ¡°Too late to get smart now,¡± his voice was fading and Lacey had to swallow back guilt.


    ¡°Like gems?¡± she tried again. ¡°Jewelry? What?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m coming back with a whole team of adventurers over level 15,¡± he growled out.


    ¡°Or healing potions and, and, magic swords?¡± she called down into the pit.


    ¡°Like your baby dungeon could make stuff like that,¡± he countered, and Lacey winced as he had a point.


    ¡°But you could get low level adventurers to try out the dungeon if we could offer, what?¡± Lacey pressed him harder.


    ¡°When I come back, I¡¯m bringing enough to clear it all,¡± Hughe swore again, and she knew she was losing him.


    ¡°But if you got treasure, you would go back out of the dungeon without clearing it, right?¡± Lacey tried a different tack.


    ¡°If I couldn¡¯t carry it all, like last time,¡± he said softer.


    ¡°So big treasure that you could sell for what? A few gold?¡± Lacey wracked her brain for what she could offer. Other than huge buckets of coal, there wasn¡¯t much here.


    ¡°Or I thought I was going to die if I kept going,¡± Hughe barely whispered this time.Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.


    ¡°Dungeon invasion repelled,¡± the system told them, but this time Lacey wasn¡¯t celebrating. ¡°Dungeon experience awarded. 1 room defeated.¡±


    ¡°So much for talking to Hughe,¡± Lacey rolled over to stare at the ceiling of the tunnel. The goblins cheered at the system message, but Lacey wasn¡¯t so sure they¡¯d really won.


    <hr>


    ¡°What¡¯s bigger than a breadbox and worth more than a few gold, but cheap enough that it won¡¯t break our bankroll?¡± Lacey asked Colt, who was only now starting to stir out of bed.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t it too early in the morning for riddles?¡± Colt complained, running a hand over his two-day¡¯s worth of scraggle on his chin.


    Lacey swiped to the dungeon reset portion of the map system and reset the entrance so that the dungeon was all green again. Then she flicked over to the store and scratched at her head. ¡°It may mean the difference between another total wipe and being able to level up to a point that we can truly defend ourselves.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Colt was still blinking awake, not that Lacey expected much from him for the next hour or so. ¡°What time did you wake up?¡±


    ¡°It was dark,¡± Lacey told him, scanning through a lot of newer options, none of which answered the riddle. ¡°Thanks for sending Adam to watch over me. We had a great night. Did you know that the minions can go outside to gather stuff?¡±


    ¡°Uh, what?¡± Colt wasn¡¯t awake, so Lacey just shrugged off his question. She¡¯d wait for him to wake up enough to be useful. Until then, she was better off asking questions than answering him. Colt answered truthfully to almost anything when he was sleepy. Then again, he was that way when he was awake too. He just knew when to shut up better when he was fully awake.


    ¡°What did you find out from fiddling around with the pedestal?¡± Lacey gave up trying to find something on the pedestal. You didn¡¯t find a ring at the Renn Faire to sell for less elsewhere and all the pedestal prices were outrageously overpriced. Whatever she found in there to dole out as treasure would surely cost more than it would gain her in experience.


    ¡°Uh,¡± Colt was at least moving over to the table to sit with Lacey to talk things through. The worker goblin girl that took care of their room rushed out and back in with a couple of earthenware bowls of food by the time Colt settled into answering. ¡°There¡¯s a bunch of stuff that we¡¯re locked out of, including any treasure options. I upgraded the mining stuff to include a sorter and the goblins on the level above us are working on learning how to sift out something other than coal from our mining operation.¡±


    ¡°Diamonds maybe?¡± Lacey eyed Colt more hopefully than she eyed the food in front of her. She really didn¡¯t want to think too hard about what was in the bowl of stew.


    ¡°Hardly,¡± Colt scoffed, stuffing a spoonful in his mouth without much thought. Lacey watched his face for a reaction to the food before sniffing at her first spoonful. ¡°We¡¯ll be lucky to pick out limestone that would make for good tablets.¡±


    ¡°I found the limestone wall with the artwork,¡± Lacey told him, blowing on the already cool stew just to stall having to eat it. Was it glowing? Were there worms in it? Lacey tried not to gag. ¡°It¡¯s safe to say we won¡¯t be selling goblin art for big bucks.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s the obsession with making a quick buck?¡± Colt asked, stuffing another spoonful in his mouth without a single flinch.


    ¡°So Hughe came back,¡± Lacey admitting, putting down her spoon into stew and pushing away the bowl. Knowing that there were worms in it was something she couldn¡¯t unsee. Lacey explained what Hughe had said while ordering a meat pie for herself. Colt ate her stew without comment until she was done explaining.


    ¡°Not much different than an escape room then,¡± Colt tried to look on the bright side. To Lacey, the bright side was the fact that she was eating a meat pie while he finished her stew. ¡°We have to make it challenging enough to make people want to come back, but not so easy that they¡¯ll solve it the first time.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Lacey sighed. ¡°We weren¡¯t ever trying to kill or be killed in the escape rooms we created.¡±


    ¡°But the business model is one we can relate to, right?¡± Colt reasoned, stacking up the stew bowls even as the goblin worker girl was reaching to take them from the table.


    ¡°Which brings us back to the original question which is what¡¯s bigger than a breadbox and still worth enough gold to go cash out rather than brave deeper levels?¡± Lacey reiterated.


    ¡°Sounds like we need to make that top level relatively easy until we have a decent clientele,¡± Colt sounded so rational, but he obviously couldn¡¯t answer the question any easier than she could. ¡°If we make the second level too tough, they¡¯ll cash out on what we can offer up there.¡±


    ¡°You want to let them kill off twenty to thirty goblins, give them a bag of gold or whatever, and pat them on the back like they haven¡¯t just cost us thousands of credits?¡± Lacey shook her head. ¡°Once again, all the options here just don¡¯t seem sustainable.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think we should use the goblins at all for it,¡± Colt raised a finger and motioned to the pedestal. ¡°Guess what doubles in population almost overnight?¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Lacey gave him side-eye.


    ¡°The beetles,¡± Colt offered it up. ¡°They cost less too.¡±


    ¡°You want to populate the upper level with cockroaches?¡± Lacey wanted to believe it could work.


    ¡°Kind of, yeah,¡± Colt flipped through screens until he could zoom in on the beetle habitat. ¡°These guys actually battle each other to level up and have been since we remade them. What was it? Last night?¡±


    ¡°Night before,¡± Lacey said.


    ¡°Even better,¡± Colt snapped his fingers just as Eve and Adam arrived with a passel of goblins in tow. ¡°They¡¯ve doubled in number twice since then and started fighting each other.¡±


    ¡°Like the goblins probably would have if we hadn¡¯t stabilized their societal balance?¡± Lacey considered it.


    ¡°Some of them have leveled up from it,¡± Colt explained. ¡°They don¡¯t level as fast as if they were fighting the adventurers like Adam and Eve did, but two winning fights made the big guy level up. Then the other beetles didn¡¯t want to fight him until another one leveled up too. I think one or two might be level 3 by now, but it¡¯s hard to catch them on the screen long enough to tap on them.¡±


    ¡°Slippery little suckers, huh?¡± Lacey joked, watching Eve line up her goblin workers while Adam was playing with his hand like he wanted to learn to snap like Colt had. ¡°That still doesn¡¯t solve the problem of loot. If we don¡¯t offer loot, Hughe¡¯s going to sell out his rights to the dungeon and let a guild wipe us out.¡±


    ¡°But what we consider important or valuable may not be what they find valuable,¡± Colt held up a finger and then took Lacey¡¯s hand. ¡°This is why you need to venture out into the rooms and not just stare at the screen.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to go see a bunch of cockroaches,¡± Lacey protested, pulled back against him as he tried to lead her down one of the corridors. ¡°Eve, save me!¡±


    ¡°Eve save,¡± Eve rushed forward to lightly smack at the air near Colt¡¯s hand. ¡°Lacey name.¡±


    ¡°Wait, what?¡± Colt paused.


    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± Lacey nodded toward the line of goblins. ¡°I think the ones we name can be resurrected, so I¡¯ve been naming the smart ones and arming the dumb ones.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s¡­¡± Colt tilted his head and smiled. ¡°That makes sense. Good job, Lace. Seriously.¡±


    ¡°I just hope it works,¡± Lacey nodded at the goblins in line, then winced. ¡°I¡¯m running out of good names though.¡±


    ¡°Can I?¡± Colt offered, giving a flirtatious wave at the blushing goblin worker girl on the end.


    ¡°As long as you never do that again, yes,¡± Lacey nearly gagged at the sight. The flirtation wouldn¡¯t bother her in the slightest as she¡¯d watched Colt go through college girls like beer at a keg party when he¡¯d been working there. What bothered her was that it was with a goblin and that just seemed wrong somehow.


    ¡°You will be Georgia,¡± Colt named the first girl after his mother and Lacey realized she¡¯d made a huge mistake. He named more after his family and Lacey swallowed hard. When he got to Dougie, Lacey tried to distract him.


    ¡°Why do I need to see beetles?¡± she asked him, finding the insects less cringeworthy than his naming scheme.


    ¡°Back when we were playing DnD, sometimes the monster parts made more money than the typical treasure, so I visited the bats, beetles, and worms and tried to use some parts to turn in like we do with the coal,¡± Colt explained, dragged her along behind him.


    ¡°Do I have to go in?¡± Lacey whined.


    ¡°No, I guess not, but look,¡± Colt picked up something off a stack near the door. ¡°I went in and there were a ton of these things inside. However long we were asleep, the beetles were born, fought, and died.¡±


    ¡°What is this, the shell?¡± Lacey turned it over and it glimmered in the low light of the hallway, almost glowing but not quite as bright as the worms had.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt looked very pleased with himself. ¡°The goblins didn¡¯t go in there because the beetles could kill them, but the beetles don¡¯t go past any doors, so they just built up. They don¡¯t live long even when they win all their fights. The males fight and the females get fertilized by the winners. I think maybe the whole nest might have died out before Hughe got here, because the shells were stacked like waist high, but the new beetles had trouble getting around them all until I cleaned out at least one room.¡±


    ¡°And they die after a few days anyway?¡± Lacey marveled at the colors of the shells, banging on it to see if it was brittle.


    ¡°Yeah, so we might as well throw them at the adventurers,¡± Colt nodded, also tapping the shell a little harder than Lacey had done so. ¡°The shells are hard. Really hard. Probably hard enough to make armor.¡±


    ¡°Then why not sell them ourselves rather than arm our foes?¡± Lacey said aloud, wondering to herself more than considering it.


    ¡°They don¡¯t¡¯ sell well in the store,¡± Colt shook his head at them. ¡°Still I¡¯m thinking that would make sense that it might be worth more to the adventurers who wouldn¡¯t have access to anything like this unless they go into dungeons.¡±


    ¡°Part of that give and take of an ecosystem,¡± Lacey mused. ¡°I suppose we won¡¯t know until we offer it up as treasure.¡±


    ¡°Think it¡¯ll appease Hughe and his low-leveled buddies enough to make us worth cultivating?¡± Colt asked.


    ¡°I guess we could ask him,¡± Lacey gave a malicious smile.

 Chapter 13 - If You Give an Adventurer a Shell

    Lacey stood at the end of a tunnel waiting for Hughe to finish examining the first trap with the spikes that he¡¯d fallen into the day before. Hughe gave her a smug look, poked the ground around where the hole was and flipped over the woven mat that had been covering it.


    ¡°Not going to catch me this time,¡± Hughe asserted.


    ¡°You¡¯re just too smart for me,¡± Lacey said sweetly, making Hughe frown as she backed down the corridor. Hughe narrowed his eyes and jumped the measly 5 feet with a grin that disappeared as he slipped and fell into the second hole.


    ¡°You lied to me,¡± Hughe was whining at Lacey from down in another hole. This hole had been dug right after the previous hole.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t,¡± Lacey called down into the pit where Hughe lay with a broken leg. ¡°At least there were no spikes this time.¡±


    ¡°You said there would be treasure!¡± Hughe pounded the ground next to him. ¡°I never should have trusted a dungeon! They warned me, but no, I thought, surely there would be treasure this time.¡±


    ¡°And there is,¡± Lacey placated him by tossing down a beetle shell. It wasn¡¯t the best of what they had, but it was a good quality, with no cracks.


    ¡°Now you¡¯re pelting me with crap?¡± Hughe fumed. ¡°Just put me out of my misery. Nothing could convince me to come back to this cursed place. No treasure, no experience, no good, lying¡­¡± There was a moment of silence, followed by, ¡°Is this a beetle shell?¡±


    ¡°I could toss the beetle down there with you too, if you¡¯d like,¡± Lacey offered, her lips quirking at the greed she could hear in his voice.


    ¡°You have more like this?¡± Hughe wheedled. ¡°With that glow?¡±


    ¡°I guess you¡¯ll have to come back tomorrow and see what we¡¯ve done with the first level,¡± Lacey goaded him. ¡°Just don¡¯t go down to the second level unless you want to run into enough traps to take out you and all your friends.¡±


    ¡°Tomorrow?¡± Hughe¡¯s eyes bugged out a little. ¡°What about today? You going to help me out of the pit or what?¡±


    ¡°And trust you to leave peacefully?¡± Lacey asked, acting shocked at the thought.


    ¡°Well, yeah,¡± Hughe gave a nervous laugh. ¡°It would go a long way to keeping our arrangement honorable, right?¡±


    ¡°I could just trap you in here indefinitely,¡± Lacey reflected as if just coming up with the idea. ¡°Then you couldn¡¯t bring more friends to wipe us out. You couldn¡¯t threaten us anymore at all. We¡¯d just keep you fed¡­.¡±


    ¡°Lacey, right?¡± Hughe¡¯s voice dipped into what he probably figured was charming, at least to a gal in the nearest pub. ¡°That¡¯s what the goblins call you.¡±


    ¡°Yes, Hughe,¡± Lacey nearly purred. ¡°That¡¯s correct and how charming of you to remember the name I told you the first day you threatened to kill me and my partner after waking us up with alarms.¡±


    ¡°Lacey, we can be reasonable, right?¡± Hughe cajoled, and Lacey began to believe that it was possible to trap him indefinitely. It was tempting, but then they wouldn¡¯t get any more experience from killing him and killing him had become very satisfying to Lacey.


    ¡°I¡¯m known for my rational negotiations,¡± Lacey replied in a tone Colt would have understood was very dangerous. ¡°In fact, I was being rational when I asked you to explain things the last time you threatened to kill me.¡±


    ¡°All right, now look, we can both get a little hotheaded, right babe?¡±


    ¡°But seriously, how can you trust me, since I¡¯m a liar,¡± Lacey¡¯s tone got colder. He really shouldn¡¯t have called her babe. ¡°Dungeons can¡¯t be trusted. I think it¡¯s adventurers who can¡¯t be trusted. You¡¯ve done nothing but threaten us since you found our dungeon.¡±


    ¡°Okay, I was wrong,¡± Hughe finally heard the nasty snarl Lacey had let show.


    ¡°Threats and claims that we were stupid,¡± Lacey recalled.


    ¡°But that was before,¡± Hughe tried to stand, leaning against one wall to keep from putting weight on his hurt leg. ¡°Before I knew you.¡±


    ¡°That was literally less than a few minutes ago,¡± Lacey challenged.


    ¡°In the interest of future good will, it would be smart to just pull me up and let me go,¡± Hughe rationalized.


    ¡°There you go, calling me stupid again,¡± Lacey chided the boy, almost feeling guilty for enjoying toying with him.


    ¡°Not at all,¡± Hughe denied it with hands raised and waving in front of him. ¡°You seem like a perfectly rational human being capable of amazing intellect. After all, you trapped me.¡±


    ¡°And you are a prize to catch,¡± Lacey nodded and backed away from the pit.


    ¡°Lacey?¡± Hughe called. ¡°You aren¡¯t really going to just leave me here, right?¡±A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    ¡°I could kill you instead,¡± Lacey called back to him with a laugh.


    ¡°Lacey!¡±


    <hr>


    ¡°That would work?¡± Colt asked Lacey, shaking his head and poking the coals of the cooking fire in the room just outside the control room. ¡°Just leaving him down there?¡±


    ¡°Probably,¡± Lacey admitted. ¡°He could always find a way to kill himself, but that would take some balls that that kid doesn¡¯t have. Besides, if he¡¯s still here, we can¡¯t get to the pedestal. We¡¯d have to try to trap him again when at least one of us is in the control room.¡±


    ¡°You aren¡¯t really going to do it, are you?¡± Colt tilted his head at her. ¡°He certainly wouldn¡¯t trust us to come back alone again now that he knows we could trap him here.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s threatened and insulted us from the moment we first met him and for the first time we have the upper hand,¡± Lacey tossed a shell off a rock that was working as a stool around the campfire and took the bowl of stew the goblin girl offered. Lacey was finally ready to actually eat the stuff. The whole thing had made her feel a little bad ass. ¡°We should at least kill him for the experience.¡±


    It had turned out that they could be outside the control room during a dungeon invasion, but they couldn¡¯t go in and out of the room if Hughe was anywhere in the dungeon. They had decided to test the idea that both of them could be outside the control room for this particular encounter, more to see what they could and couldn¡¯t do.


    ¡°Whew,¡± Colt blew out a breath in a low whistle. ¡°How long has it been since you got laid?¡±


    ¡°Low blow,¡± Lacey pointed her spoon at him, annoyed, then braced herself and took a bite.


    ¡°You can get a little bitchy around the edges when it¡¯s been too long is all I¡¯m saying,¡± Colt shrugged with a sly smile. The stew wasn¡¯t as bad as she¡¯d imagined. She chewed and swallowed. It wasn¡¯t a meat pie, but it didn¡¯t taste like worms.


    ¡°Well, that kid isn¡¯t going to do it for me,¡± Lacey emphasized her statement with stabbing motions with her empty spoon, lowering it to below her eye level when she saw the spoon glowed a bit.


    ¡°But he might be a better partner if we don¡¯t kill him for a third morning in a row,¡± Colt reasoned, as Lacey scooped up another bite in defiance of her mind telling her that it was made of worms.


    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Lacey asked, jabbing the second bite into her mouth before she changed her mind. She turned to face away from Colt for a moment to hide the moment that her stomach rebelled at the stew. She swallowed hard and then swallowed again.


    ¡°Come on, Lacey,¡± Colt chided her, and she could tell that he was walking up behind her.


    ¡°We could use the experience,¡± she insisted, turning to face him as she shoved another bite past teeth that wanted to clamp shut.


    ¡°Lace,¡± Colt said, taking the bowl from her as she ran for the stone stairway and the river cavern below. ¡°I¡¯m letting him out.¡±


    ¡°Fine,¡± came out in a hurl that covered the stairs. How he ate that stuff, she didn¡¯t know, but when she turned to find him taking a smiling bite, she lost the rest of what was in her stomach. ¡°And you say I¡¯m mean,¡± she gasped out over his chuckle.


    ¡°I¡¯ll make him leave his sword in the pit,¡± Colt was saying as he strode out toward the dungeon.


    ¡°If he¡¯s snarky, take the experience,¡± Lacey argued and spat.


    At least the goblin workers didn¡¯t seem to mind cleaning up after her.


    <hr>


    ¡°Fighter, level 4, damaged, repelled from dungeon,¡± the system intoned. ¡°Dungeon clear.¡±


    ¡°Huh, guess he lost a level,¡± Lacey figured, getting up to head back into the now-unlocked control room. ¡°Maybe Colt¡¯s right. He lost a level and we gained one. I suppose it¡¯s a fair trade.¡±


    She made her way back to the pedestal and paused before she ordered up a meat pie. ¡°Ginger Ale,¡± she said and banged the pedestal. It didn¡¯t work. What did a place like this have for drinking? If she happened onto the screen by using voice commands, she could bypass some of the lockouts, but she¡¯d have to know what to order. They¡¯d tried coffee. That wasn¡¯t in there at all.


    ¡°Ale,¡± she tried again, not sure she really wanted something alcoholic with her stomach already reeling, but at least it would get her to some kind of drink menu.


    ¡°Goblin Milk?¡± she scanned the list and was a little grossed out at what was available. It didn¡¯t have ginger ale, but it had cream soda? It wasn¡¯t like she could buy anything as long as Hughe was in the dungeon, so she was kind of glad that Colt had gone up to let him go. Now that she had options, cream soda was very tempting. ¡°Ugh.¡±


    She tried Ginger and ended up naming their goblin worker girl in the process, something that wasn¡¯t so bad since she was really good at cleaning up and didn¡¯t flinch from Lacey like some of them did. Their credits were getting low, considering that they¡¯d relegated most of the worker goblins into doing chores that didn¡¯t include mining.


    ¡°Colt,¡± Lacey said, and banged the pedestal. A screen opened up showing Colt coming back up from letting Hughe go. She tapped on him.


    ¡°Dungeon Master, level 1,¡± the voice told her.


    ¡°He¡¯s more than that,¡± she told the pedestal.


    ¡°Ginger ale?¡± Ginger handed Lacey a cup of something that wasn¡¯t water.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± Lacey told the girl goblin, who ducked and smiled before going back to her chores.


    Lacey took a sniff of the cup and pulled her head back. That was not ginger ale. It was neither gingery nor ale. If she wasn¡¯t mistaken, it was moonshine. Where the heck had the goblins found or figured out how to make moonshine? What did they make it out of? A few other questions flitted across her mind as she stuck her fingers into the stuff and rubbed them together to test consistency. Another more careful sniff made her think of the berries some of them had brought in from the outside.


    Lacey tapped her foot, staring at the screen, thoughts whirling in her mind. Two taps and her screen returned to the blue that would allow her to buy things. One thing she knew she could buy cheap was a torch. They didn¡¯t last more than three hours, and they had better, but it was access to fire. Lacey ordered a torch, careful to keep the liquid in the cup away from the flame.


    Kneeling on the floor, Lacey poured out a bit of the moonshine and carefully lit it on fire. The flame burned blue with a bit of orange on top and Lacey stomped it out with a maniacal glee. This wasn¡¯t just moonshine. This was high proof moonshine and while it might not explode, it was valuable for more than its flammability. One did not attend Burning Man without learning all about moonshine or drugs. Lacey had endured the lecture on moonshine instead of the drugs. Colt had abstained from all of it because he was a good mama¡¯s boy. That was their story and Lacey stuck to it every time they visited his family.


    Moonshine was only illegal to make because it was very dangerous to make. Stills that made moonshine blew up and took whole buildings with them. Lacey knew this firsthand from a man with only one hand to show for it. If she could find out where the goblins were making moonshine and how the hell they had made it so fast, they might have another weapon at their disposal, not that they could use it on the upper levels. The thing was that if a level 5 fighter could give them a whole level on their dungeon, what could a group of level 15 adventurers net them? Maybe it was worth pissing off Hughe to find out, especially if she could pull it off.

 Chapter 14 – When You Give DMs Moonshine Apple Cider

    ¡°I¡¯m just saying it¡¯s something to consider,¡± Lacey argued, grimacing as Colt took another sip of the apple cider.


    ¡°We¡¯re supposed to be building a level that even Hughe could defeat, not blowing ourselves and all our minions to kingdom come,¡± Colt argued, patting Ginger on the head as she brought him a new mug of the stuff. ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯ll work that way in this place anyway.¡±


    ¡°Why do you say that?¡± Lacey took the mug and set it on the table, giving Colt a stern look that should have worked.


    ¡°Do you remember that story we read on Royal Road?¡± Colt¡¯s long arms reached around Lacey to pick up the apple cider.


    ¡°We read a lot of stories on Royal Road,¡± Lacey complained, trying again to grab the mug that he easily held up over her head.


    ¡°Yeah, but this one was about a gal that took over a game engine and then said that anyone who left a comment, a rating, and then also answered some poll at the end would get an invite to their very own world,¡± Colt took another sip of apple cider as Lacey gave up trying to stop him with a grunt of disgust.


    ¡°I vaguely remember it,¡± Lacey admitted, heading to the pedestal to order another meat pie. ¡°Cute trick, but ridiculous.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, anyway,¡± Colt muttered around the mug, his eyes alight with something that almost always got Lacey in as much trouble as she got him into with her mouth. ¡°We¡¯ve been swept into a game¡­¡±


    ¡°Wait,¡± Lacey groaned, waving her new meat pie in the air. ¡°You think we¡¯re in a game because we read some book on Royal Road?¡±


    ¡°Stranger things have happened,¡± Colt suggested, snagging her meat pie and taking a steaming bite.


    ¡°Hey!¡± Lacey groused, pulling her meat pie back before his second bite took half of it up. ¡°You like the stew. You should eat that. Not that you¡¯ll have any taste buds to protest after drinking that moo-apple cider. And stranger things haven¡¯t really happened except in your ridiculously paranoid-conspiracy mind.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± he shrugged, and Lacey hoped he was done with it.


    ¡°I¡¯m just saying we should figure out where their still is and see if we can reproduce the mechanics,¡± Lacey went back to the point, blowing on her pie. ¡°I¡¯ve been looking, but I can¡¯t find it. I even asked Eve, but Adam shushed me before I could finish. I think he¡¯s hiding it.¡±


    ¡°I doubt Eve would approve,¡± Colt nodded, then changed the subject. ¡°And I¡¯m just saying that I¡¯d like to be able to deliver treasure in snarky little loot boxes, but what we¡¯d like isn¡¯t necessarily how the system works.¡±


    ¡°Ooooh, like in that one series where the dungeon collapses,¡± Lacey grinned. ¡°I loved that. Can we do something like that?¡±


    ¡°Lacey,¡± Colt held up a warning hand, sitting on the table with his feet up on the chairs (yeah, Colt¡¯s mom, read that part). ¡°If we collapsed our dungeon, we¡¯d be buried underground again. I don¡¯t think that¡¯s the best idea.¡±


    ¡°If we had that still,¡± Lacey returned to her initial argument, knowing that if Colt kept drinking the apple cider, he¡¯d give in to her crazy idea before she gave in to his.


    ¡°I¡¯m not telling you where the still is,¡± Colt set down his mug next to him, almost daring her to snatch it back up.


    ¡°So, you do know where it is!¡± Lacey pounced, on the words, not the apple cider. He could have it, especially if it helped Lacey get her way.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t say that,¡± he waved his hands in front of him with a laugh. ¡°But you already got poor Ginger in trouble. Don¡¯t make it worse is what I¡¯m saying. And we are supposed to be herding beetles right after dinner, so don¡¯t get sidetracked again.¡±


    ¡°Ugh, don¡¯t remind me,¡± Lacey took a cooled bite of the meat pie, savoring the flavor that seemed to be getting better every day. Maybe someday she¡¯d get tired of sumptuous beef stew in a flaky pie crust, but that seemed as unlikely as getting tired of Metro Pizza. It just didn¡¯t happen.


    Lacey and Colt were the only ones who could transport the beetles because they were the only ones the beetles didn¡¯t attack. Lacey could carry two of the little ones and Colt could carry one big one. The problem was that they were transporting them up exactly 42 levels of stone stairs. The fifteen trips up and down had made Lacey appreciate the meat pie and had her eying the pedestal like she was considering another one.


    ¡°Oh, no you don¡¯t,¡± Colt wagged a finger at her. ¡°You¡¯ve either got to get used to the goblins¡¯ stew or figure out how the goblins can cook something else. We can¡¯t keep squandering our cash on fast food.¡± That was an old argument and in their old life Lacey had been on the other side of it. Then again, in her old life, a simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich was available 24/7 and cheaper than fast food.The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°I got them pine nuts and little berries,¡± Lacey dusted the remains of the flaky crust off her hands and onto her jeans. ¡°They made apple cider with it.¡±


    ¡°What did you expect?¡±


    ¡°Pizza?¡± Lacey shrugged and gave up on the thought of another meat pie, at least until Colt was in bed.


    ¡°I can imagine the bat or boar meat being turned into sausage with some spices maybe, but pepperoni and crust are a long way off, civilization-wise,¡± Colt shook his head at her. ¡°Not to mention how we¡¯d grow tomatoes.¡±


    ¡°And yet the pedestal can make a meat pie,¡± Lacey raised her eyebrows at him and waved at it. ¡°I¡¯ll bet there¡¯s bread in town. Hughe had crackers and cheese. How far could pizza really be out there?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re not out there,¡± Colt scolded. ¡°We¡¯re in here and all the whining in the world isn¡¯t going to change that. Nor am I going to change my mind about making bombs out of still components.¡±


    ¡°But-¡° Lacey tried to interject, resenting his casual sip of apple cider.


    ¡°I¡¯m too fond of the product that is produced by what you want to blow up,¡± Colt handed his cup to Ginger, who took it away with a giggle. ¡°How many more trips with these beetles are we going to make?¡±


    ¡°That depends on how many small ones that big one ate while we were taking a break,¡± Lacey groaned out.


    ¡°We locked him in that back room, right?¡± Colt followed Lacey down corridors to the beetle pen.


    ¡°You were the last one out,¡± Lacey told him, and he frowned.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think I was,¡± Colt argued, but his frown said he wasn¡¯t sure.


    ¡°You were,¡± Lacey asserted, because she could. She¡¯d locked the door, but it would do to remind Colt that he needed to keep his wits about him this close to dawn. Hughe would be back. They might have filled in the traps in the first level so that Hughe could have the satisfaction of fighting something, but if there weren¡¯t enough beetles to fight, he¡¯d be whining again.


    ¡°How much would it cost to make the beetles show up near the top instead of at the pedestal?¡± Colt wondered out loud.


    ¡°If you can find it in the menus, go for it,¡± Lacey shrugged, grabbing the lip of a little beetle¡¯s shell. Her hand clamped over the edge of both the exoskeleton and the wing segment, making the beetle little more than a bunch of wiggling legs under an upended turtle shell. Just because they couldn¡¯t attack Lacey or Colt, didn¡¯t mean they couldn¡¯t try to get away.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to spend a few hours trying to chase down a female beetle,¡± Colt complained, needing both hands to hold one of the big ones.


    ¡°You¡¯d have an easier time scooping up a pile of those eggs in a basket,¡± Lacey suggested.


    ¡°None of the gathering goblins will give their baskets up,¡± Colt marched the beetle to the first of the stone bookcase spots where goblins had piled up some limestone blocks that they were using as mostly solid stairs.


    ¡°I¡¯d make you one, except I¡¯m too busy lugging beetles,¡± Lacey followed behind him with her two beetles, held out from her like they were bowls of goblin stew. Lacey was pretty sure that the crunchy bits in that stew were beetle legs.


    ¡°There¡¯s got to be a better way,¡± Colt muttered, ducking his head through the trap door that had been propped open but was still too low for Colt to walk under without slouching. ¡°But at least we have stairs now.¡± They had stairs because they¡¯d spent even more credits on more workers.


    ¡°If you know what to order that will turn a basic goblin into an animal wrangler, let me know because I¡¯m tired of handing stuff to them only to get scowled at,¡± Lacey griped.


    ¡°They do seem to be getting picky now that there are so many jobs available,¡± Colt mused, tromping up the next set of stairs.


    ¡°I¡¯m half tempted to just let them choose their tools, like Eve did,¡± Lacey admitted, more to complain than as an actual suggestion.


    ¡°That¡¯s not a bad idea,¡± Colt belied her disregard of the notion.


    ¡°Mass hysteria,¡± Lacey warned him, repositioning her hand as one of the beetles got a bit slippery. ¡°You¡¯ll have no control over how many of each type there is. What if they all want to be gatherers? Then who is going to fight or mine or yeah, because who would want to be a miner?¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t know that,¡± Colt was just too na?ve sometimes. Lacey blamed his upbringing in a nice loving home. ¡°We could set out all the tools and let a new goblin choose off the table of tools.¡±


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you just take all the tools off of every single goblin worker we have, throw all the tools in a pile and let them fight their way through the throng to get what they want,¡± Lacey suggested sarcastically, giving a horrid shudder. ¡°It would be like Christmas shopping at the mall on Black Friday!¡±


    ¡°Maybe not like that,¡± Colt frowned back at her as she emerged from another trap door behind him, walking backward in a way that made Lacey snatch her nearest beetle back so that the big one didn¡¯t get it. ¡°But some kind of ceremony or something. We could test them for aptitude, like you did with the swords. It¡¯s only the sword holders that don¡¯t go back to being workers.¡±


    ¡°Once again, it¡¯s setting up a civilization like we should be creating the religion or something,¡± Lacey shook her head as Colt turned back forward to keep his beetle in line. ¡°I didn¡¯t have a great experience with religion, so I certainly don¡¯t want to set one up.¡±


    ¡°But we could create it perfectly from the ground up,¡± Colt stooped through another trap door.


    ¡°Colt,¡± Lacey dropped her tone into her serious voice like she¡¯d watched Colt¡¯s mom do at least twice a day during family times. ¡°I¡¯m sure every religious leader thought the same thing and they killed most of them.¡±


    ¡°Not Smith,¡± Colt protested.


    ¡°Jones, Manson, Applewhite,¡± she listed them off.


    ¡°Applewhite?¡± Colt turned around again, holding the beetle to the side to avoid fighting. ¡°Now you¡¯re just making stuff up.¡±


    ¡°The comet was the key to Heaven¡¯s gate,¡± Lacey shook her head at him.


    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± he admitted, walking backwards up the first few steps.


    ¡°Koresh, Asahara,¡± she continued.


    ¡°You might know a little too much about this stuff,¡± Colt gave her a worried look.


    ¡°Agreed,¡± she answered quickly. The few times Lacey¡¯s dad had deigned to spend time with Lacey between girlfriends were filled with more than a few self-righteous lectures about Colt and his family¡¯s religious background which included a deep dive into cult mentality. It was one of many reasons Lacey had kept Colt away when her dad was home. She could have invited him to dinner. Her father had tried to suggest it a few times, but Lacey was a little less trusting of people than Colt, and her father was one of the reasons why. ¡°But if you want to keep up this conversation, you¡¯ll need to get me to drink more than two mugs of apple cider, and access to the still.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll pass on that,¡± he turned back around, nodding.

 Chapter 15 – If You Give an Adventurer an Inch

    Colt and Lacey had opted to stay in the control room for this round so they could watch the fights between Hughe and the beetles together. Lacey figured that they had the next night to find and cart a few of the female beetles up to the first floor. The problem with the female beetles was that they were rare, and they nested deep in their loamy walls and by the time Colt could get to one, it had dug itself into someplace else. Knowing that Hughe was returning, they¡¯d given up for this round. Hughe would need higher leveled beetles than the babies could create in a single day, so they¡¯d decided to set them up on the second level.


    ¡°Guess what I just found?¡± Colt had dragged the table over to the pedestal, so they had someplace to sit as they watched for Hughe.


    ¡°What?¡± Lacey responded as expected, tugging off her leather boots to get comfortable.


    ¡°We can sell the traps,¡± Colt tapped the edge of the pedestal.


    ¡°Really?¡± Lacey handed her boots to a patiently waiting Ginger and joined Colt at the pedestal. Ginger took a rag to the leather boots to get off the recently applied worm slime. It made Lacey¡¯s boots glow, but it was still kind of gross.


    ¡°I touched one of the traps on the map and got a sales screen like we did with the coal,¡± Colt showed Lacey the screen for it.


    ¡°Too bad we didn¡¯t know that before I had the goblins fill in the ones on level 1,¡± Lacey complained.


    ¡°Maybe it gave us credit for it,¡± Colt shrugged.


    ¡°Like we¡¯d know with this thing on the fritz!¡± Lacey thought of kicking the pedestal before she remembered that she didn¡¯t have any shoes on.


    ¡°We should sell all the ones on the second floor so we can get it ready as a beetle hatchery,¡± Colt suggested, his hand hovering over the button. The trap sold for just a little more than a mining pick. Four traps would buy a meat pie. That was reason enough for Lacey to consider it.


    ¡°Not the first room,¡± Lacey scrolled over to another room. ¡°I don¡¯t trust Hughe not to go past the first floor.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ve got goblins keeping an eye out,¡± Colt protested, encouraged by our first really profitable endeavor so far.


    ¡°Yeah, but it¡¯s Hughe and he¡¯s greedy,¡± Lacey shook her head.


    ¡°Speak of the devil,¡± Colt said just as the lights changed from blue to red.


    ¡°That¡¯s not Hughe,¡± Lacey let her voice drop and she was glad they hadn¡¯t sold the traps on the second level yet.


    ¡°What the heck?¡± Colt asked, tapping on the first of four adventurers to enter the dungeon¡¯s first room.


    ¡°Rogue, level 2,¡± the system voice told them, going on to name the rest as Colt tapped each one. ¡°Druid, level 3. Mage, level 2. Fighter, level 3.¡±


    ¡°Hughe sold us out,¡± Colt acted far more surprised than Lacey was. ¡°Standard set with a fighter, healer, and two dps. The druid has got to be their healer.¡±


    ¡°Do you think he told them not to go past level one?¡± Lacey pursed her lips and watched their rogue poke at the floor in front of them as they slowly made their way across the room. ¡°He obviously told them about the traps.¡±


    ¡°I told him we¡¯d clear the traps off the first level so he could fight the beetles,¡± Colt protested.


    ¡°It surprises you that he didn¡¯t trust us?¡± Lacey countered, glaring at the small group. They¡¯d keyed that first level for a single 5<sup>th</sup> level fighter.


    ¡°It surprises me that he sent others in,¡± Colt replied, trying to zoom in on a few of them. ¡°The druid is kind of cute.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Lacey leaned in, but she didn¡¯t see it. ¡°Colt!¡±


    ¡°She looks older than Hughe,¡± Colt shrugged, and leaned back as Lacey faked a swat at his shoulder.


    ¡°Not by much,¡± Lacey chided him, watching the screen as the group hit the first challenge. The rogue stopped the party and had them gingerly step over the trap that Lacey had already disabled.


    ¡°Besides, you don¡¯t know what age they might have been before they got here,¡± Colt reasoned in a way that made Lacey roll her eyes. ¡°Most player characters get spawned young in this type of thing.¡±


    The second room was the first one to have beetles in it and, after the rogue examined the door, they opened it and fumbled for their weapons. The 6 little beetles were a lot less than they¡¯d brought up for the room, but they were all a higher level. The beetle battles didn¡¯t last long when they happened, this room had been the last one Lacey and Colt had populated and therefore had the lowest level of beetles in it.This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.


    Colt tapped on one of the beetles and the system announced it to be level 2. There were 2 level 2s, 3 level 1s, and 1 level 3. The druid struggled with a bow that was too big for the tunnel for a round before the fighter plunged his shield into the room and pushed the bugs back a bit. The rogue and mage were also useless until they could get around the fighter, who was too busy propping open the door to swing his sword.


    ¡°This is clumsier than we imagine it to be in DnD,¡± Colt complained and gave a look like he¡¯d give a lot for a bucket of popcorn and milk duds.


    ¡°I¡¯m wondering how they got to levels 2 and 3,¡± Lacey scootched Colt over at his place at the table and leaned on the pedestal, imagining that she had a huge diet coke to suck on.


    The fighter gave another shove of his shield, edging forward just enough to let the rogue squeeze past him and try to blend into the shadows at the edge of the room. All the rogue really managed to do was get the attention of the biggest of the beetles. The fighter swung and the druid got a shot off, but the mage was fumbling with the door that Lacey had equipped with an upgrade that made it automatically shut when left alone.


    ¡°You were right about that automatic door,¡± Colt smiled.


    ¡°It was worth it just for the entertainment value,¡± Lacey grinned back.


    With another great shove, the fighter got them room for all of them to enter the room, but the mage was a worry-wort. There was always one in every group. He refused to let the door close, and it kept him from doing anything productive until one of the smaller beetles got past the fighter to bite through the mage¡¯s soft robe. The fighter and druid had managed to kill one of the level 2 beetles, but the rogue had decided to try to run in a circle to get the big beetle off of him and it looked like the guy was screaming while doing it. The problem with that was that the room was only about 10 feet by 12 feet in size so no matter which corner the thief tried to turn to, he was only cornering himself.


    ¡°I think they got their levels fighting out in the open,¡± Colt analyzed their fighting style. ¡°They¡¯re not used to closed in spaces.¡±


    ¡°You think they¡¯re friends of Hughe?¡± Lacey wondered aloud.


    The rogue accidently kicked the last health off of a little beetle that the fighter and druid were working on, allowing the fighter to get a hit in on the big beetle. The big beetle obediently turned to fight the guy with the big shield, proving that beetles were dumb. The mage shot a spell off at the level 2 beetle on him even as the beetle took another chunk out of the mage.


    ¡°I think it¡¯s more likely he charged them for the privilege of working in the dungeon,¡± Colt answered Lacey, wincing at the backstab that the rogue got off on the big beetle, cutting off a whole leg in the process.


    ¡°He must have flashed around the beetle shell and gotten caught bragging about where he got it,¡± Lacey sneered as the last level 2 beetle backstabbed the rogue, not that it counted as a backstab for the poor beetle. It did however get a chunk of the stupid rogue¡¯s ass.


    ¡°The druid and fighter know how to work together,¡± Colt pointed out as the druid put away her bow to cast heals first at the rogue and then at the mage.


    ¡°She healed the wrong guy first,¡± Lacey muttered, not liking the girl on principle.


    ¡°He was the one squealing the loudest,¡± Colt chuckled. ¡°If they don¡¯t have a display that lets them see health bars, it would make sense to heal the squealer first.¡±


    The fighter got a good swipe at the level 3 beetle, killing it off, and turned to smack the level 2 that was on the rogue.


    ¡°Either that, or nobody likes the mage,¡± Lacey pointed.


    ¡°Maybe,¡± Colt agreed as they watched the druid kick the final level 1 beetle that was inching around the shield. ¡°It¡¯s not like he¡¯s doing his job.¡±


    Now that the rogue could backstab the level 2 beetle that had turned to the fighter, it went down in seconds. The mage looked to be yelling at the druid who rolled her eyes and Lacey liked her a little better for it. The druid kicked the level 1 beetle again as the fighter and rogue turned to the final beetle on the mage. The final beetle died, and the room turned red.


    ¡°That wasn¡¯t so bad,¡± Lacey reasoned. ¡°It gave them a fair challenge for their levels.¡±


    ¡°Good job for us,¡± Colt held up a hand for a high five, but Lacey gave it half-heartedly.


    ¡°Is it?¡± Lacey asked as the adventurers healed up and the druid sat down, probably to get some mana back. The fighter and rogue were arguing, not that Lacey and Colt could hear what they were saying, over a beetle shell that they were peeling off the largest beetle. ¡°They got experience and loot and we¡¯re going to have to spend credits resetting the room and more time lugging around beetles.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt frowned, studying the screen.


    ¡°What do we get out of it?¡± Lacey shrugged at the screen. ¡°I get it that we could make it harder and kill them all for experience, but how is it worth it for us to keep spending time and effort to lure them in only to have to spend resources rebuilding every day?¡±


    ¡°Maybe there¡¯s some balancing mechanism that we¡¯re not seeing yet,¡± Colt suggested, but their frowns got deeper as the adventurers delved into the next room and the next.


    To Lacey, it felt like it took forever for the adventurers to clear the first floor. They almost wiped on the final room except that they stumbled in just as the big guy was chewing on the door and got surprised. By the last room, they were fighting more like a team. It was obvious how the adventurers were benefiting from their work, but it was completely unclear how the dungeon benefited.


    ¡°I guess this is where we find out if Hughe told them to stay out of the second level,¡± Colt pointed back at the screen that Lacey had left to put her boots back on.


    ¡°Even if he told them to, that doesn¡¯t mean they¡¯ll follow orders,¡± Lacey hopped to the pedestal to watch what was an argument forming. The rogue had found the furs and the trap door under them, but the mage was lifting them up. The druid had hold of one arm of the mage like she was holding him back, but it was a half-hearted attempt at best. The fighter just shrugged.


    The mage yelled at the druid and shook her off. She turned to the fighter, but he held up his hands and waved toward the hole like he couldn¡¯t stop the other guy. Before the druid could turn back around, the mage¡¯s eyes got wide, his face got very pale and then he slumped over, half in and half out of the hole in the floor of the level.

 Chapter 16 – Half a Mage is Better Than Nothing

    The lights changed from red to blue as the smaller party left the dungeon. They were smaller by half. Half a person. They had dragged the top half of the mage all the way to the entrance, but as they¡¯d tried to pull him outside, the dungeon itself had balked. Lacey hit the reset on each of the rooms that had been turned red and noted the gains they¡¯d gotten, wondering if breaking even was the best they could do in this situation. Surely the mage had left something worth the trouble. They¡¯d only killed one of them, so maybe they¡¯d even be back. What ratio of death did a party expect for return on investment?


    ¡°He didn¡¯t even look below before he tried to climb down feet first,¡± Colt shook his head.


    ¡°Come on,¡± Lacey urged Colt, who wasn¡¯t half as enthusiastic as Lacey was to go loot the mage¡¯s lower or upper half.


    ¡°The dungeon didn¡¯t let them pull the top half of the mage out?¡± Colt wondered. ¡°That¡¯s just weird.¡± Colt had started on another cup of apple cider sometime around when the adventurers had decided to prop a stone on the trap door and drag their friend out of the dungeon.


    ¡°Don¡¯t care,¡± Lacey tugged on Colt¡¯s sleeve. ¡°I want to know what loot he dropped!¡±


    ¡°Then again, why did they want to pull half a mage out of the dungeon?¡± Colt mused on, allowing himself to be tugged.


    ¡°You¡¯re delirious,¡± Lacey let go of his sleeve. ¡°You should get some sleep. I¡¯ll be up until dawn anyway just resetting traps.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, maybe,¡± Colt plopped back down on the table and tugged off his boots. He wasn¡¯t tipsy so much as just tired and discouraged by human nature. ¡°Maybe they wanted to bury him.¡±


    ¡°We know he isn¡¯t really dead, Colt,¡± Lacey leashed her desire to see the loot and walked Colt over to the bed. ¡°He¡¯ll respawn just like Hughe did.¡±


    ¡°Will he?¡± Colt was saying, but he let himself be tucked into bed.


    ¡°Yes,¡± Lacey told him, then muttered, ¡°we aren¡¯t lucky enough to be rid of idiots like that so easily.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, he¡¯ll be back,¡± Colt assured himself as Lacey rushed out of the control room.


    Lacey scampered as fast as her aching muscles allowed all the way to the top of the dungeon to find Adam and his crew standing around the lower half of what was left of the mage. Lacey had known the goblins were there waiting for the adventurers who couldn¡¯t follow directions, but she¡¯d worried that Adam might not be up for fighting a whole group that was higher level than he was.


    What was left of the lower half of the mage looked too realistically like it had been run through a meat grinder. Around the ¡­meat¡­ were six grinning goblins with bloodied axes and Adam with his sword still dripping. If Lacey had been hoping for loot, she ended up not having the nerve to even touch what was left of the lower half of the mage. She just hoped there was more left of upper half.


    ¡°Good job, Adam,¡± Lacey patted the chief on the shoulder, and he puffed up a bit. Adam had gone up a level and was now even with the dead mage. The grinning axe squad had leveled up to level one. The dungeon had leveled up to level two as well.


    Lacey was glad, she thought as she let Adam boost her up through the trap door. The stairs had been removed and the tunnel between levels had been increased so that even if the mage had stuck his head down into the hole, he wouldn¡¯t have seen much. The result was that one would have to come down blind with the safest way being to simply drop. It was more of a suicide hole than a real secret door. They¡¯d be ready for it next time though and Lacey felt the pressure to do better.


    The upper half of the mage was also disturbingly realistic, but Lacey found herself gritting her teeth and searching the body for everything it had. The robe was ruined. There was a wand, but it didn¡¯t seem to do anything for Lacey. She tucked it in her back pocket thinking she¡¯d give it to Eve. She stripped off a shirt, but the poor guy didn¡¯t have anything else, or if he did, it had been shredded in the goblin axe blender.If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    Lacey rocked back on her heels, severely disappointed. It wasn¡¯t enough to make it worth it. Sure, they¡¯d leveled, but what did that really do for them? It made their summoned mobs stronger to start with, but unless they made a ton more in credits, they couldn¡¯t afford to summon all new monsters, could they? Again, Lacey cursed under her breath at a numerical system that she couldn¡¯t read. Maybe she was reading the numbers wrong, and it was worth it somehow.


    Lacey was lowering herself down into Adam¡¯s arms when she heard Hughe¡¯s hollering. How had he gotten there so fast? Had he been waiting for his buddies to come out?


    ¡°Colt!¡± Hughe was yelling and he was approaching fast. Lacey waved the goblins back. They might have been able to make quick mincemeat of a level 2 mage, but Hughe would be tougher to defeat. ¡°Lacey!¡±


    ¡°What!¡± Lacey yelled back.


    ¡°What the hell!¡± Hughe shouted. The trap door opened and Hughe stuck his head into the hole only far enough to flinch from the pile of ¡­meat¡­ that was a backdrop to Lacey¡¯s head glaring back up at him.


    ¡°You¡¯ve got a lot of nerve!¡± Lacey stormed back at the guy, her arms crossed over her chest.


    ¡°What¡¯s with these shells?¡± Hughe demanded, tossing a black shell down the hole to plop unnervingly in the pile of ¡­meat¡­


    ¡°You wanted beetle shells,¡± Lacey threw up her hands and rolled her eyes. ¡°We carted a ton of beetles up here for you and you sent in a party of adventurers instead of coming yourself.¡±


    ¡°The beetles won¡¯t help me level,¡± Hughe brushed off her concern and went back to his own rant. ¡°The shells are all black! What¡¯s the big idea? Do you know how much I got yelled at because of you?¡±


    ¡°Of course, they¡¯re black,¡± Lacey shrugged. ¡°And how come it¡¯s okay to send whomever you want into the dungeon now without letting us know you¡¯re changing it up?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t answer to you,¡± Hughe growled back angrily. ¡°The shell you gave me has glowy stuff in it. The shells they looted are all plain black! They¡¯re complaining not only that you killed one of their party, but that you also pulled a bait and switch on them.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s my job to kill them,¡± Lacey argued, but she was wondering why the shells were black. They hadn¡¯t noticed it on the monitor because it was black and white, but the new beetles did all have black shells. Only the shells from previous beetles that Colt and Lacey had pulled out of the old beetle nest had that shimmer of glow. ¡°And maybe the glowing shells are a rare drop. Or maybe they only come off of higher leveled beetles.¡±


    ¡°I told them that I¡¯d killed a beetle and gotten the glowing shell,¡± Hughe complained again like she was beholden to him. ¡°Now they think I¡¯m a liar.¡±


    ¡°You are a liar!¡± Lacey shot back at the guy, her hackles rising at his continued entitled attitude.


    ¡°All they should have had to do is kill a few beetles and they¡¯d have been happy, but no, you had to go switch up the shells and kill one of them off!¡±


    ¡°You lied about killing a beetle and now I¡¯m the bad guy?¡± Lacey¡¯s voice dripped with sarcasm, though technically she was the bad guy and was supposed to be the bad guy.


    ¡°How did you even kill off Maldory with beetles anyway?¡± Hughe was on a rampage and while his face had disappeared, she could hear him stomping around and destroying the room, a room she would have to reset because a toddler threw a temper tantrum.


    ¡°He didn¡¯t listen to the warning to stay at the topmost level like we warned you!¡± Lacey yelled back up, but she was wondering why she was putting up with any of it.


    ¡°It¡¯s out of my hands now,¡± Hughe was saying, and she could hear his voice going further away as he said it. ¡°When they come to burn it all down, don¡¯t blame me! I warned you that you couldn¡¯t mess around with me and now you¡¯ll see why.¡±


    ¡°Hughe,¡± Lacey called out and hated herself a little for having done it. ¡°What are you talking about? This is your fault, not mine!¡±


    She didn¡¯t hear his reply. Lacey crossed her arms over her chest again and backed away from the hole, shaking a bit of Maldory off her boots. Like she cared what stupid Hughe thought of her. She looked around at the goblins that had worked their way back into the room to stare at her.


    ¡°He¡¯s the one who lied about killing the beetle and promised shells that glowed,¡± Lacey muttered at the goo on the floor. ¡°He doesn¡¯t own me. He¡¯s a punk kid with entitlement issues.¡±


    Lacey tried to think of what he could really do but found herself with very little to go on. They knew so little about how the world outside the dungeon worked. For that matter, they knew very little about how things worked inside the dungeon. Lacey blew out a breath and waved her arms at the goblins.


    ¡°Let¡¯s clean this up and get to work on some new traps,¡± Lacey told Adam, who waved to more goblins, who went to fetch more goblins. Lacey was more worried about how to make some of her favorite traps without trip wire. Without a lockout, Hughe or his buddies could be back anytime with who knew what or who knew who.


    The more she thought about it, the more Lacey was convinced that winning as the dungeon just wasn¡¯t winning. The dungeon didn¡¯t lock people out so they could reset in peace. They didn¡¯t make a lot of money or experience while they waited for the inevitable incursion. It was infuriating. Why would anyone want to be a dungeon anyway? At least with the escape rooms, people paid for the privilege of wrecking your room and if they busted stuff up, you got to charge them twice the damages for doing it.

 Chapter 17B – Premonition or Pessimism?

    ¡°Hughe¡¯s mostly hot air,¡± Colt was saying as he woke up.


    ¡°Maybe,¡± Lacey mumbled, using Colt to clamber up to the top bunk. She was tired.


    ¡°How did your night go?¡± Colt asked, pulling on boots and running a hand through his short, spiky hair. He was completely unmoved by Lacey using his shoulders to boost herself onto the top bunk.


    ¡°Traps are more lucrative than adventurers,¡± Lacey told him, unlacing her own boots and tossing them off the end of the bed.


    ¡°That¡¯s good,¡± Colt brushed off his shoulders and reached for his leather jerkin. ¡°I mean it¡¯s something, right?¡±


    ¡°I guess, but it¡¯s like any new business,¡± Lacey flopped back on the bed. ¡°I had to spend most of what we made for parts for more traps. Springs are expensive and I didn¡¯t have enough water for that mechanism I really wanted.¡±


    Selling the traps was more lucrative than anything that the adventurers had given them. While Lacey might have been better at the less lethal kind of traps that they could use in the escape rooms, she knew them all from their dungeon building days back when they¡¯d been trying to make extra money selling pre-made dungeons for DMs.


    ¡°How many levels are trapped?¡± Colt asked.


    ¡°Seven,¡± Lacey groaned out and Colt whistled in appreciation. ¡°And that¡¯s with me selling every other trap for parts. I¡¯ve got a trap team of worker goblins making more. There should be another five levels done by morning. And I found your still.¡±


    ¡°Lace,¡± Colt turned to give her a warning glare to go with that growl.


    ¡°Don¡¯t ''Lace'' me,¡± Lacey rolled over to face the wall. ¡°There¡¯s no way those goblins figured out a copper still out of a couple of cooking pots, and you had to buy that copper piping. I found it when I was searching for coils and fishing wire. Imagine my surprise to find that you had opened up a bundle of whiskey-making supplies.¡±


    ¡°I only used credits I¡¯d made from cleaning bat dung out of the caves,¡± Colt complained. ¡°And I was looking to make a French press coffee pot, if you want to know. And I got¡­¡±


    ¡°Bat dung?¡± Lacey perked up, rolling back over. ¡°Wait, can¡¯t you use bat dung to make gunpowder?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but we¡¯re missing sulfur,¡± Colt answered too quickly.


    ¡°That¡¯s why you were scooping bat dung,¡± Lacey nodded her head.


    ¡°Well, yeah, but honestly, I didn¡¯t deep dive into the explosives after Dougie threatened to show Mom my search history,¡± Colt admitted. ¡°But if you feed the glowing worms to the bats, the bat poop makes a longer lasting light source than just the moss.¡±


    ¡°Of course,¡± Lacey threw her head back on her pillow and put a palm under it. ¡°That¡¯s how the beetles ended up with glowing shells.¡±


    ¡°I was going to try it today,¡± Colt admitted. ¡°But yeah, probably. Feed the worms the moss, then feed the worms to the bats and beetles and we get glowing stuff.¡±


    ¡°You think it¡¯ll satisfy Hughe long enough for us to get stronger?¡± Lacey asked, having trouble sleeping even though her eyes were burning from fatigue.


    ¡°Sure,¡± Colt told her, but she didn¡¯t believe him. ¡°And if not, I¡¯m sure your traps will keep him and his friends out of the deeper levels.¡±


    Lacey fell to sleep despite herself. She dreamed of Hughe eating pizza in the pub and washing it down with a pale ale because he was a lightweight. She dreamt of trying to soak glowing bat poop out of her hair and she dreamed of the Foo bird, an old joke her mom had told her when she was young. The Foo bird had poop so stinky that it drove everyone away from you, but if you washed it out, you died. It was an old shaggy dog story that her mom had been really good at telling. The key to a good shaggy dog story was to drag out the story of it until you had your audience sitting on the edge of their seats waiting for the punchline, which was always a moral of the story that was a messed up old adage that made people groan. At least that was how her mom told it. Lacey was on the edge of her dreamy seat and her mom was just saying the first words of the punch line when Colt shook her awake.


    ¡°Lace, we got trouble,¡± Colt hit the side of the bunk bed and dashed back to the pedestal. ¡°Get up!¡±


    ¡°Hughe wasn¡¯t patient, was he?¡± Lacey groaned rolling over.


    ¡°It¡¯s not Hughe,¡± Colt wasn¡¯t smiling, and he wasn¡¯t his normal chill self with the positive attitude, and that jolted Lacey awake faster than anything.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± Lacey hopped down to the bottom bunk to put on her boots.


    ¡°Hughe came back while you were asleep and I tossed out a few of the old glowing beetle shells to stall him,¡± Colt was trying to explain faster than his mouth could form words. ¡°He took them and said he¡¯d be back for more the next day. I tried to tell him that we knew how to make them now, but he was stupid and still ranting about¡­¡±


    ¡°Colt!¡± Lacey derailed Colt¡¯s story, the red lights of the dungeon making her worried about the end of the story more than the beginning.


    ¡°Anyway,¡± Colt fast-forwarded. ¡°He took them and said he¡¯d wait a day, and then a few hours later, we got new people in the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°The traps should keep them on the top floors,¡± Lacey took the time to tightly lace her leather armor bottoms that were little more than leather patches held together on parts of her body that were most likely to get hit.


    ¡°These guys aren¡¯t lower level like Hughe,¡± Colt shook his head and tapped the pedestal.


    ¡°Fighter, level 14.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Lacey darted to the pedestal to watch as Colt hit another person on the screen.


    ¡°Rogue, level 16. Cleric, level 15.¡±


    ¡°That rogue is the problem,¡± Colt waved his hand as Lacey watched the problem rogue disarm a trap on what had to be level 4.


    ¡°They¡¯re at level 4 already?¡± Lacey goggled.


    ¡°There¡¯s no way the goblins can take those guys,¡± Colt clenched his fist. ¡°We¡¯re looking at another dungeon wipe and there¡¯s nothing we can do about it!¡±


    With the pedestal locked during every incursion, Lacey could only watch and wring her hands next to Colt. They weren¡¯t prepared for something like this. They¡¯d only had a few days to even try to get it together on a system that had mostly locked them out. The unfairness of it whacked Lacey upside the head like a hammer. Lacey watched the rogue laugh after the cleric said something and she could imagine what they were saying like they had turned off the sound on an old Japanese ninja movie.


    ¡°What a joke of a dungeon,¡± she imagined the cleric had said.


    ¡°We could trip all these traps and still be okay,¡± the rogue would reply.


    ¡°Yeah, but then I¡¯d have to use some of my precious mana,¡± the cleric would reply as the fighter, bored half to death, gave a half-snort of a laugh.


    Lacey shook herself out of it. Once those guys got through her traps, they were on their way here to take out the dungeon masters so that they could take over. It wasn¡¯t that Lacey thought that her puny little dungeon had a chance against them, but it was her dungeon, good or bad, and she needed to fight for it. She darted a gaze around her for something she could fight with. She sucked at the sword, not that they stood a chance again guys more than ten levels above them.


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    Chapter Bonus: Because I SAID So! (Skippable)


    ¡°You can¡¯t,¡± Karma threw up her hands and paced the tiny runway from the armchair to the kitchen.


    ¡°It¡¯s not the engine¡¯s doing,¡± Typewriter insisted. ¡°Hughe was the one who contacted the guild three towns past the noob zone.¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t stack the deck against them,¡± Karma insisted right back, slapping her hands on her jeans in a way that made Bench slide back away from her. ¡°Sorry Bench. I promise I won¡¯t kick you like Fizz did. I¡¯m just incensed! I¡¯ve been gone for a single day to help Dom clean out the pirate uprising against his organization and you¡¯ve brought in NPCs at a level so high that the dungeon can¡¯t possibly survive!¡±A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    ¡°Hughe stipulated a powerful guild when he complained to the Adventurer¡¯s Guild,¡± Typewriter continued to support the engine¡¯s decision. The constructs were not afraid of Karma, like they had been afraid of Fizzbarren. They respected her abilities and appreciated her for the fact that she¡¯d freed them from Fizzbarren¡¯s slavery of them, but they also knew that they could push back against her ideas if they felt strongly about it. ¡°The engine simply found the nearest powerful guild to answer the call. The Penchance Guild was large enough to be powerful and yet still hungry enough to listen to a low level if it meant a chance at a baby dungeon. These are perfectly logical escalations of tension which are notoriously hard to find in dungeon creation plots.¡±


    ¡°You brought in NPCs almost ten times their level!¡± Karma glared at the sanctimonious box of self-serving bullshit only barely masked with literary justifications.


    ¡°7 or 8 at most,¡± Typewriter reasoned, undeterred by her anger.


    ¡°The dungeon was level 4 and you brought in adventurers that were level 26!¡± Karma shook her fist at the box, holding up four fingers and then pulling her palms wide apart to show the difference. ¡°It has to be beatable!¡±


    ¡°There was a chance they could survive,¡± Typewriter persisted stubbornly, its keys still. ¡°They had a hundred years of growth and the financial gain thereof to spend on upgrades. The engine could have created a dungeon to challenge the group. After all, there were only 3 of them.¡±


    ¡°And why was one of them a thief?¡± Karma raised her eyebrows at the box. ¡°Meta much??! Why would they think they¡¯d need someone who could disarm traps!? Most dungeons that you¡¯ve made are full of monsters but not a lot of traps. What gave them the idea they needed a thief to disarm traps?¡±


    ¡°That was purely coincidence,¡± Typewriter didn¡¯t even quiver at the lie. ¡°The thief is a cousin of the leader of the guild, and he was sent mostly as a favor to help him level up his skills.¡±


    ¡°Why would anyone think a dungeon would have enough traps and locks to increase his skills so much?¡± Karma crossed her arms, wondering why she was arguing about the side issue. How did this machine always seem to switch the tone or subject so that it could be right? ¡°You stacked the deck against the dungeon so they¡¯d fail, and you did it because you don¡¯t want a human taking over the job of dungeon construction!¡±


    ¡°The machine does not have such emotional idiosyncrasies,¡± Typewriter twitched its ribbon disdainfully.


    ¡°Rewind it,¡± Karma stated.


    ¡°No,¡± Typewriter balked.


    ¡°I said rewind it,¡± Karma planted her feet apart. ¡°You are not being reasonable, and you know it. I¡¯m not going to argue with you if you can¡¯t even tell the truth.¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Typewriter clacked its keys in defiance.


    ¡°I call a vote,¡± Karma announced to the room.


    ¡°Cliff isn¡¯t here,¡± Typewriter protested weakly. ¡°He would be on my side if only for the sake of tension and realistic escalation due to player actions.¡±


    ¡°I doubt that,¡± Karma shook her head, ¡°but it¡¯s irrelevant. There are enough of us here to vote on the matter now, but I¡¯ll call in Dom and Kat if you force me to.¡±


    ¡°Fine,¡± Typewriter knew that Dom and Kat always voted with Karma.


    ¡°I¡¯m positing that we rewind this fiasco and give them at least another couple of days to prepare,¡± Karma moved her hands to her hips.


    Her vote went to the room and the engine lost that fight. Karma went on to insist that if the still explosion happened that it would realistically be enough of a blast to collapse the whole level. That was also voted in, much to the engine¡¯s consternation.


    ¡°Furthermore,¡± Karma started, but Typewriter cut her off.


    ¡°No more! I won¡¯t consider more stipulations,¡± it insisted its ribbon twisted around one of its keys. ¡°If you coddle them any more than this with your bleeding hearts, I¡¯ll delete the scenario and restart the whole thing. I¡¯m driving the plot, and you know it. Next thing you know, you¡¯ll be giving them coffee and pastries.¡±


    Karma curled her lip, then pointed a finger at Typewriter, ¡°Fine, then I¡¯ll make a wager with you.¡±


    ¡°The engine hates your wagers,¡± Typewriter growled with a snap of its carriage return.


    ¡°But we like them,¡± Mirror stated too brightly. ¡°You¡¯re not allowed to deny a vote anyway. You¡¯re lucky Karma isn¡¯t pressing the issue.¡±


    ¡°True,¡± Footstool fluffed her tassels. ¡°I¡¯d vote with her just to teach you not to try to strong-arm us all to get your way. We¡¯re all equal here since Karma freed us and she could have just made you do everything her way, but she doesn¡¯t, so be a better sport about it.¡±


    ¡°And we don¡¯t have to spit out god cards that allow her access to magic like rewinds and time manipulations either,¡± Typewriter tugged its ribbon, but it was stuck in a way that would take human intervention. ¡°But we do it and all your players get time off for bad behavior! They get to go see their mommies or whatever every time they die! We think that Sinjin character is dying just so that he isn¡¯t late for work somedays. You¡¯d think they¡¯d have a work ethic like that for us. We do pay them after all.¡±


    ¡°How about a bribe then?¡± Karma wheedled, not wanting to get into the player characters she¡¯d gotten with this last batch. They really weren¡¯t all that motivated. What Karma wouldn¡¯t give to have a great player like her daughter in the engine, but Hughe was the best of them and he was a jerk. ¡°I¡¯ll trade you two hard drives if you open up cupcakes on the pedestal.¡±


    ¡°Cupcakes?!?!?¡± Typewriter goggled so hard that his ribbon untangled. ¡°You must be kidding.¡±


    ¡°High speed ones, top of the line,¡± Karma dangled the fruit. It was an easy bribe since Cliff was already picking up some new drives. ¡°You¡¯d be surprised what a little chocolate can do for a girl¡¯s motivation.¡±


    ¡°Cupcakes,¡± but the indignation had simmered down into a mutter.


    ¡°I¡¯ll have to text him,¡± Karma pulled out her phone and waggled it at the engine in the box. ¡°I sure hope he hasn¡¯t left the store by the time I get to the end of the drive¡­¡±


    ¡°Fine but no frosting,¡± the engine tried to bargain, but she could tell that it wanted those drives. It ate four of the things for dinner every night. It was a good thing they had funds from Fizzbarren¡¯s magic and gadget sales.


    ¡°Chocolate and frosting or it¡¯s a no go,¡± Karma made to put away her phone.


    ¡°All right,¡± Typewriter vibrated like it wasn¡¯t an old manual version. ¡°But if you don¡¯t get there in time, no cupcakes. I mean it.¡± Typewriter called out as Karma chuckled her way out the door. ¡°I¡¯m not doing cupcake unless I get those new drives tonight. And no cheap ones either!¡±


    ¡°If they sleep together, they get the password reset,¡± Karma bargained, tapping a butter knife against the measuring cup.


    ¡°That won¡¯t happen,¡± Mirror shook a phantom head that floated in its frame, behind which was running an old Hallmark Christmas movie that Footstool was watching by pressing pillows against the glass to see around the hulking head.


    ¡°I think it could, or I wouldn¡¯t suggest it,¡± Karma protested, dumping another cup of flour into the mixing bowl. The mixer ran on magic, as did the oven. While it was easier to bake in the game world, it was more satisfying to do it in the real world sometimes.


    ¡°No way,¡± Cliff chimed in from his spot on the armchair. He too was trying to watch the Hallmark movie, something that they couldn¡¯t do in the game world. ¡°They¡¯re like you and me, not you and Dom. They won¡¯t sleep together.¡±


    ¡°Not have sex kind of sleep together,¡± Karma argued, checking her supply of nutmeg with a discerning sniff. ¡°Just sleep at the same time so that the time goes by.¡±


    ¡°No way, they¡¯re paranoid about that after the 100 year thing,¡± Pestle ground out around cloves and cinnamon that Karma had dropped into the mortar. She was baking Christmas spice cookies and there was just something about freshly ground spices that she got Pestle to grind together.


    ¡°Then it shouldn¡¯t be a problem,¡± Karma shrugged, applying some heat magic to the mortar so that the spices melted into the butter.


    ¡°It¡¯s a wager,¡± Typewriter agreed, as Karma had known he would. Now all she had to do was get that druid to interrupt their sleep in a way that made them both exhausted at the same time.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    ¡°Lace,¡± Colt¡¯s voice penetrated Lacey¡¯s panic.


    ¡°What!¡± Lacey stared at him with wide eyes.


    ¡°Wake up, Lace,¡± Colt shook her shoulder, his head even with hers.


    ¡°Huh!¡± Lacey jerked up, nearly smacking Colt as she thrashed.


    ¡°I¡¯d have let you sleep,¡± Colt ducked her swing easily, ¡°but you were having a nightmare.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Lacey rolled over, surprised to see herself still in bed, the covers warm and soothing, the lights of the dungeon¡¯s pedestal a cool, calm blue.


    ¡°A nightmare,¡± Colt gave a nervous chuckle. ¡°You okay?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey lied, shaking her head and taking a stupid leap out of bed, the covers still tangled around her feet.


    ¡°Relax,¡± Colt caught her in that same old practiced move he had of grabbing her by the waist whenever she whooshed past him. ¡°I got you. That must have been some dream.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey let him put her on the ground, her bare feet barely making any sound as they gently touched the floor.


    ¡°I¡¯d give you coffee, but unless you want to drink stewed bat guano, I¡¯m all out,¡± Colt tried to joke with Lacey and only relaxed when he saw the panic of her dream recede. She hadn¡¯t had dreams like that since she¡¯d broken it off with the slimeball. That¡¯s all they ever called him.


    ¡°Uh, no thanks,¡± Lacey curled a lip at him and shook her head to clear it.


    ¡°Good choice,¡± Colt nodded, letting her go back to the table and sit down. ¡°I¡¯ll admit I tried it.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Lacey gawked at him, sitting on the lower bunk and taking her time to rub sleep out of her eyes before she reached for the boots that Ginger offered her. How did big red beady eyes look compassionate?


    ¡°I heard about that bat guano coffee and decided to give it a shot,¡± Colt¡¯s face scrunched up in a face Lacey hadn¡¯t seen him make since his sister Maggie got him to take a bite of something that looked like a Payday but wasn¡¯t. ¡°I do not suggest it at all.¡±


    ¡°Noted,¡± Lacey nodded, tugging on boots that felt a little small on her swollen feet. All her walking and working had worked muscles she hadn¡¯t known she had and even her feet were overworked. ¡°Hughe?¡±


    ¡°I talked to him,¡± Colt held up a hand. ¡°I gave him and his party each a shiny shell and promised that if he could give us a few more days, we¡¯d have a few levels of the glowing beetle shells that he and his friends could farm.¡±


    ¡°And he agreed?¡± Lacey was having trouble reconciling her dream with reality. Were there some level 14-16 folks out there that could barge in any second? Probably, but even knowing about it didn¡¯t help Lacey figure out what to do.


    ¡°Yep,¡± Colt replied, leaning back in his chair and propping his feet up on another one. He was obviously pleased with himself. ¡°They won¡¯t be back for a week, but they warned me that they¡¯d probably be a higher level by then. I¡¯m leaving them a few extra shells outside so that they¡¯ll respect the ¡®Dungeon Closed for Repairs¡¯ sign I made.¡±


    Lacey didn¡¯t think they¡¯d be in the teens level-wise by the end of the week, but her dream had felt more realistic than it should have. Could it have been a premonition? Lacey grunted as she laced on her leather pants, giving Ginger an appreciative nod. Her clothes and armor were all clean every day even after she¡¯d caked them in the mud of dozens of pit traps, soot from fire traps, and worm remains. If they had another dungeon wipe, at least they¡¯d be able to resurrect Ginger. They would if they had the funds, funds that were running thin with all the innovation that Lacey was trying to instill in her dungeon and why? So that Hughe could farm them?

 Chapter 18 – Elevating Their Game

    ¡°You¡¯ll be pleased to know that I got a beetle nursery set up on level 2, but there has got to be a better way that I¡¯m really hoping you¡¯ll figure out before they bust through to that level,¡± Colt reported to Lacey as she approached the pedestal to order her morning meat pie. ¡°Before you get all fussy about the nursery being on level 2 and not a lower level, I¡¯ve figured out how to hide the nest so that it¡¯s not apparent to those on the level. I¡¯ve got thirty beetles all fighting it out in that big room on 2 and we¡¯ve got some sluice gates, like the ones set up down in the water cavern, so that newly born beetles aren¡¯t just gobbled up by the big guys.¡±


    ¡°Sounds great,¡± Lacey said, scrolling through what looked like more options, including breakfast burritos that seemed incongruous to their setting but very welcome to her taste buds.


    ¡°What is that?¡± Colt perked up, his feet hitting the stone floor with a thud.


    ¡°Breakfast burrito?¡± Lacey grinned, swiping the treat out of the air in front of her.


    ¡°When did we get those?¡± Colt lurched for the treat in her hand, but she could only keep it away from him for a moment because he had a lot of practice at this sort of thing from his brothers and sisters.


    ¡°Once I¡¯d ordered 10 meat pies, some new options opened up, like breakfast burritos,¡± Lacey lifted her chin with a smug look. ¡°It seems there¡¯s a good reason to be ordering food off the pedestal after all.¡±


    ¡°How much does it cost?¡± Colt pretended to protest, but he was doing it around a mouthful of egg, cheese, and sausage wrapped in a handy container. It took about a week of being away from his mom to loosen his normally tight manners. Had it been that long already?


    ¡°Same as the meat pies,¡± Lacey frowned, ordering another one for herself. ¡°But it¡¯s twice as big and it¡¯s cheesy.¡±


    ¡°What else did we get?¡± Colt asked, but Lacey had already scrolled to more screens. They were getting relatively low on credit. At least she thought they were. Maybe they were breaking even-ish. ¡°We could make it to pizza pretty soon if we stay diligent and eat a lot.¡± His smirk was an obvious attempt to cheer her up, but it wasn¡¯t working.


    ¡°Look it up yourself if you want to know what we have,¡± Lacey snapped at him and regretted it immediately. ¡°Sorry.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re wound kind of tight,¡± Colt frowned. ¡°What was the nightmare?¡±


    ¡°I dunno,¡± Lacey tried to let it go, but it nagged at her. ¡°Maybe Hughe reminds me of the slimeball or something, but I was dreaming that he¡¯d gotten a level 15 group to come back and wipe the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°Hughe¡¯s a dick,¡± Colt admitted, blowing on his burrito between bites, ¡°but he¡¯s a predictable one in that he¡¯s too greedy to hand it off to someone else.¡±


    ¡°Maybe not,¡± Lacey flicked through screens to look at the map, ¡°but he¡¯s stupid enough to go bragging to someone about those shells. Someone who might want to take them from him the easy way by stealing them and where they come from.¡±


    ¡°He said he¡¯s got dibs on the dungeon,¡± Colt stuffed the last of his burrito in his mouth.


    ¡°But what does that mean?¡± Lacey complained. ¡°What do we really know about anything here? There¡¯s a rulebook in this thing and we can¡¯t even get to it. It¡¯s maddening!¡±


    It took a few moments for Colt to finish chewing, but he gave a big swallow as Lacey nibbled on the edge of her burrito. Hers was a little too hot for her still and she wanted to enjoy it rather than burn her mouth on it. Lacey usually scrolled between levels and rooms with two hands, but with one hand taken up with her burrito, she screwed up a zoom in and accidently moved a room.


    ¡°No way!¡± Lacey could have hit her head on the pedestal.


    ¡°What?¡± Colt got up from the table to come look.


    ¡°All that work and we could have done it from here?¡± Lacey moaned, showing Colt how she¡¯d moved one room from the first level down into the second one by dragging it.


    ¡°That¡¯s great!¡± Colt didn¡¯t share her frustration. As usual, he only saw what this new feature, which was probably there all along, for what it could do in the future. Lacey felt what the lack of it had already done to her aching muscles. ¡°We can move all the beetles up to the top levels.¡±


    ¡°We couldn¡¯t have found that before yesterday?¡± Lacey whined and she hated it when she whined.If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    ¡°But now we can really organize things better by moving the bats over here,¡± Colt took over, as Lacey¡¯s sulk was only slightly pacified by being able to eat her cheesy burrito in peace. ¡°We can move components around too!¡± Colt gushed.


    Lacey ignored him. The burrito wasn¡¯t skimpy on the cheese like the normal stuff they got off the dollar menus back home. It was stuffed with just the right amount of sausage, cheese and egg. At that moment, that burrito was her only friend.


    ¡°Oh man,¡± Colt was still gushing like he¡¯d just gone on a first date. ¡°You can double click to replicate something! Oh wait, that¡¯s too expensive. Is that trap based on my still?¡±


    Lacey sat down at the table and let herself mope. She had woken up for this? At least she¡¯d gotten a breakfast burrito out of it, but if Colt¡¯s current obsession went on as long as Lacey figured it could, she might as well go back to sleep. She had half a mind to go back to sleep, but the memory of her dream dismissed that thought before it even fully formed.


    ¡°Stills blow up,¡± Lacey reminded him, but he didn¡¯t hear her. He was organizational madness. He got it from his mother. She completely reorganized her house every Spring whether it needed it or not. When all the kids lived there, it had needed it. Now that she was an empty nester two years from retirement, it only served to annoy Colt¡¯s dad. The moral of this shaggy dog story was not to let Colt or his mother get obsessed with organizing your closet unless you didn¡¯t want to see them for a couple of days.


    ¡°Is it even safe for me to go out there and work on some traps?¡± Lacey rapped Colt on the forehead to get his attention.


    ¡°Uh, yeah,¡± Colt replied, distracted. ¡°We should try moving a room with you in it. It could be like an elevator.¡±


    ¡°Uh,¡± Lacey¡¯s eyes got wide, but Colt was already shooing her toward the door. ¡°Wait!¡±


    Lacey ground to a halt her eyes on Ginger, who had frozen in the corner, broom halfway up. Colt followed Lacey¡¯s gaze, then did a double take. ¡°Is she not moving?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s not moving,¡± Lacey said as Colt slowly walked up to the little worker goblin with the broom. ¡°Is she alive?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I think so,¡± Colt waved his hand in front of Ginger¡¯s face, but the goblin didn¡¯t move. As far as Lacey could see, she wasn¡¯t breathing. ¡°She would have fallen down if she was dead, right?¡±


    Lacey scrambled down the stairs to the water cavern below them and the silence was eerie. They¡¯d gotten used to the low rumble of the water flowing past the cavern under their feet. Lacey had fallen asleep to it for so long that the silence of its cessation was unnerving. In the silence, she could hear Colt thump down on the stone steps behind her. Not only were the goblins still and silent, but so was the water of the river.


    Colt bumped into her back as Lacey froze in the doorway, staring at the frozen waterfall that looked more like a picture than actual water. The next second, the falls slowly dribbled back to life, like someone had started the projector in slow motion. In about fifteen quick breaths, the water was roaring again as if nothing had happened, and the goblins were moving around like they hadn¡¯t been statues less than a minute before.


    ¡°That was¡­¡± Colt started, his breath on the top of her head something that helped Lacey ground herself in the real of the situation.


    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± she said, her voice so quiet, he probably hadn¡¯t heard it over the water.


    Colt bolted back up the stairs with Lacey on his heels. ¡°It had to be the moving stuff, and doesn¡¯t that just make perfect sense?¡± Colt was saying, but none of it made perfect sense to Lacey.


    ¡°No, I¡¯m not getting it,¡± Lacey barked at him, waving the last of her burrito still in her fist.


    ¡°When I moved something,¡± Colt pointed to Ginger who had been sweeping without a care in the world, until she wasn¡¯t again. ¡°When I move a room, the goblins all freeze in place. And it makes sense because if you¡¯re moving rooms around, you don¡¯t want to accidently cut a minion in two because they were in between the moving rooms. So, they froze, right?¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± Lacey shrugged, her mind absorbing this new fact and the beginnings of excitement that it brought to her. She was catching up with possible ramifications. ¡°But for how long?¡±


    ¡°It started back up almost as soon as we both hit the bottom of the stairs,¡± Colt shrugged. ¡°So maybe that made it start back up.¡±


    Lacey ran down the stairs to test it out, but the water stayed frozen this time. They tested it with several variables to understand how it worked. The end result was that if Colt moved a room, all the moving parts of the dungeon froze in place while he was doing it. There was a message that popped up that reminded them of the ¡°Are you sure?¡± box in computers. If he hit what ended up being yes in that box, Ginger would start to reanimate in half a minute. If he hit no, the room moved back, and Ginger would move immediately.


    If they let the box sit there, everything stayed frozen for at least twenty minutes. If one of them was out of the control room, it didn¡¯t affect it, but if both left the control room, it reanimated everything in about half a minute from the time they left the room. Colt could move a room with Lacey in it, allowing it to work as an elevator short-cut for one of them. It made Lacey¡¯s stomach a little sick, but when Lacey did it for Colt, he thought it felt like a roller coaster and had her do it a dozen times just for fun.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t freeze the whole world out there,¡± Lacey said to Colt after returning from what they were considering the last test for the day. ¡°But goblins outside during a move did freeze even though the trees were still moving.¡±


    ¡°That makes it not safe for goblins to be outside when we¡¯re moving stuff around,¡± Colt noted, almost to himself. ¡°They¡¯d be easy prey for anything that could move while they couldn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°We could resurrect any of the named ones,¡± Lacey shrugged, but Colt looked at her like she wasn¡¯t human for the thought.


    ¡°I like the goblins too much to put them through that just for a test,¡± Colt protested.


    ¡°You think they remember dying?¡± Lacey considered the problem more than the sentience of the goblins, not that she would want to test it on Ginger, or even Eve or Adam for that matter.


    ¡°Hughe did,¡± Colt reminded her and she winced.

 Chapter 19 – If You Give a DM Some Chocolate

    Hughe entered an entirely different dungeon after the 3-day hiatus. The bats in the first room gave a jump scare before evacuating the dungeon altogether, probably to look for food on the outside after being rudely awakened. Lacey and Colt laughed over the console at the look on Hughe¡¯s face, which was more freaked out than the druid, who barely flinched. It helped that Hughe had gotten hit with bat droppings. The druid tried to hide a smile as the mage slipped in some of the stuff and seemed to be swearing. Lacey knew because Colt was giving a blow by blow of what he was generously applying as the druid¡¯s charms. He had a crush. Lacey rolled her eyes, but the girl was growing on Lacey too, even though they¡¯d never met.


    Now that they¡¯d placed the main bat cave near the top of the dungeon, the bats were going in and out all the time for a variety of food. They had expanded their worm caves so that they had enough of a farm of glowing worms to feed the bats and the beetles, but the bats liked a more varied diet, so they went out to find fruit and insects that weren¡¯t in the dungeon. The only reason Lacey knew about the diet of the bats was that when the bats brought the stuff back to the dungeon, the pedestal added the diet to the options.


    Hughe swung at a bat on its way out, but those bats were higher level than they looked at first glance and easily dodged the swipe. The other fighter had to duck Hughe¡¯s sword, but didn¡¯t complain. There was an eye roll that made Lacey think, maybe wishfully, that the four lower leveled adventurers were just putting up with Hughe for access to the dungeon.


    The bats weren¡¯t fighters, at least Colt and Lacey hadn¡¯t figured out how to make them aggressive. The beetles were easy to avoid, though they¡¯d eat a bat that they could catch on the ground. The bats just flew over the top of them, sometimes dive-bombing the beetles with a little glowing bat dung.


    The party had leveled up, but only one level. The fighter was now level 4, the rogue level 3, the druid level 4, and only the mage was still at level 2. Hughe had leveled back up to 5, still the highest of all of them with the bonus he¡¯d gotten from clearing the dungeon before. It wasn¡¯t much of a bonus but if Lacey considered that he¡¯d killed mostly level 0 mobs throughout, it was a wonder he¡¯d gotten that much. The beetles had died out before Hughe had gotten there and nothing else had been combative at all. Even the bats hadn¡¯t leveled up, so they¡¯d been easy too.


    The rogue was fiddling with the door, probably looking for traps, but the dungeon¡¯s traps were now rated much higher than the level 3 rogue. They¡¯d leveled. On traps. Turned out the traps gave a lot when they sold them, and they¡¯d sold a lot to level up without Hughe¡¯s help. The dungeon was now level 3, but their traps were rating higher. For every two traps they made, they sold one and installed the other. With two goblin troops, consisting of ten workers each, and those goblins leveled up as they made the traps, their dungeon was stacked with traps on all the levels higher than 4. The trap troop weren¡¯t combatants. They were more like the bats in that they brought value to the dungeon rather than protected it.


    That was okay because they had figured out how to train the goblins to higher levels by letting them fight some of the beetles. Eve, Adam, and an elite set of guards were allowed to test the dungeon before the adventurers arrived, and that had leveled them up too. Lacey was almost jealous at how easily the goblins were gaining levels compared to Lacey, Colt, and the dungeon as a whole.


    The rogue finally cleared the door, but only because Colt had convinced Lacey to let level 1 be trap free. He¡¯d said it was only fair, but she had figured that it would lull them into a sense of complacency. Colt and Lacey had smiled at each other knowing full well what the other was thinking on the subject.


    ¡°I told you that the second room should have at least level 2 beetles,¡± Lacey commented to Colt as the party decimated the level 0 beetles, probably not getting much but the small shiny shells for their effort.


    ¡°Okay, you were right,¡± Colt gave Lacey the words she wanted. ¡°Level 1 next time?¡±


    ¡°Level 2, at least,¡± Lacey complained. ¡°I doubt anyone but the mage got any experience from it.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but it also gives shells for any lower levels that might come through,¡± Colt argued. ¡°We want the dungeon to be well-rounded for all the different levels and they should have to work for the shells a little.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll glut the market,¡± Lacey reasoned as the fighter stepped on the last of the baby beetles.


    ¡°Nah,¡± Colt shook his head. ¡°Those shells are softer than the larger beetles give. It¡¯s like giving out sample tiles or paint swatches at the hardware store.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a waste of beetles if you ask me,¡± Lacey grumbled, but they both knew she didn¡¯t mean it.


    Lacey fidgeted, wanting to see what they did with the next room. The rogue took forever clearing the door and the skin along the edge of Lacey¡¯s nails paid the price. Colt flicked to the room she was waiting for. There was a cupcake on the table. It was a lovely chocolate with buttercream frosting by the smell of it and it went to the one of them that won the bet on the room.


    Hughe crashed into the room, sword drawn and eager for blood. The mage held the door until they were all inside, looking around. The next door was locked, something the second fighter figured out right away. The druid was looking around at the walls, where they¡¯d moved some of the goblin cave paintings. They¡¯d added a few of their own to the murals.


    ¡°The rogue is going to pick the locks,¡± Lacey worried.Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°There are five level 7 locks on that door, all of which cost more than fifteen level 3 goblins,¡± Colt complained. In this bet, he was on the side of frugality, but not by much.


    ¡°He¡¯ll still just pick the locks,¡± Lacey said even though that was not what she really wanted him to do. She wanted it for the cupcake, but not for the dungeon and what it would mean for them as dungeon masters.


    The rogue did move to the door to examine the locks when the fighter called him over. He looked over the locks and pulled out picks, as expected.


    ¡°By the time he picks the locks, someone will have figured out the puzzle,¡± Colt shook his head at the rogue fumbling at the lowest lock. ¡°Look, she¡¯s looking at it.¡±


    ¡°Did we make it too hard for beginners?¡± Lacey worried some more. She wanted that cupcake, but more than that, she wanted the room to work and be worth the effort.


    ¡°They can always just wait for the rogue or back out with their baby beetle shells,¡± Colt patted Lacey.


    ¡°What if Hughe just tries to break down the door?¡± Lacey fretted, shifting from foot to foot as they watched.


    ¡°You worry too much,¡± Colt teased her.


    ¡°You worry too little,¡± she bantered back at him, but at least she¡¯d stopping nibbling on her fingernails.


    The druid pointed at the walls and while Hughe and the rogue ignored her, the other fighter came up beside her. Lacey ran the room over in her mind as if she was in it and trying to solve it. There were seven words scratched on the wall above the mural where the druid was pointing. The first letter of each word could be rearranged in an anagram of the word pottery. Arranged on the wall nearest to the door entering the room were eighteen urns full of moss and glowing bat shit. Each urn had a Roman numeral on it. If one stuck their hand into the one with the number seven on it, there were only glowing worms instead of the bat poop, and it had a single key at the bottom of the urn.


    Who would get the first puzzle first? The rogue, who did seem to be having trouble picking the lock with Hughe a hulking shadow of pressure and probably grousing looming over him, or the druid who was counting on her fingers. The rogue was working on the lowest lock, but the puzzle would open the top one. Hughe yelled toward the second fighter and pointed at the door, but the fighter waved him off, still staring at the puzzle with the druid.


    ¡°Maybe the mage isn¡¯t so dumb after all,¡± Colt pointed at where the mage had given up on keeping the door open in favor of searching the room for treasure.


    The mage had wandered, as if bored, to the other side of the room where there were one hundred cups on a wall in a 10 by 10 grid. Each cup was covered with thin paper, with some of them glowing. The mage poked a finger at a glowing piece of paper, snatching his hand back quickly, as if nervous of a trap.


    ¡°We¡¯d have solved this whole room by now,¡± Lacey complained. Colt only got the cupcake if the adventurers solved more riddles than the rogue picked locks. Lacey won if the rogue got more locks or Hughe busted down the door. They would split the cupcake if anything else happened.


    ¡°These aren¡¯t veteran escape room people,¡± Colt eased back from the pedestal to stretch his back. ¡°Besides, if you were the one with the lockpicks, you¡¯d be through two of them by now.¡±


    ¡°I still think that was worth learning,¡± Lacey relaxed into the old argument. ¡°I still think I should be allowed to pick locks if I have the skill, and they give me the materials to make a pick.¡±


    ¡°You are the reason they don¡¯t leave soda cans as ambiance, at least not if they aren¡¯t glued down,¡± Colt reminded her. ¡°You are also the reason they search people for lockpicks at tournaments.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t have been the only person to think of it,¡± Lacey eyed the cupcake greedily as the rogue got the bottom lock undone with a smile and moved to the one above it.


    ¡°The rule about lockpicks did not exist in any games in Vegas until you tried them in three rooms,¡± Colt shook his head. ¡°We were banned from Escapemania because of it.¡±


    ¡°I still say that a dozen of your mom¡¯s cookies would have softened them on it,¡± Lacey grimaced as the druid smacked her hands together and pointed at the urns.


    The mage watched as the druid looked back and forth between the urns and the words on the wall. The second fighter tipped an urn to peek inside and put it back with a dainty sniff that belied his bulk but made Lacey smile. The druid tipped over two urns before she did the one with the seven on it. She tipped the one next to it and then the seven urn twice before she gingerly stuck her hand inside it. Within seconds, the druid was whooping and it was so clear that Lacey imagined she could hear it. Colt grinned.


    ¡°It¡¯s a key,¡± Lacey said, mimicking what she thought the druid would be saying.


    ¡°A key?¡± Colt said in a dull, idiot voice like he was Hughe.


    ¡°Yes,¡± Lacey replied to the lip-moving of the druid. ¡°Probably to one of those locks.¡±


    ¡°Probably the lock we already have open,¡± Colt played Hughe as Hughe turned from the druid to loom at the rogue again.


    ¡°We should try it,¡± Lacey played the rogue too, but in a small voice.


    The druid rushed the key over to the door and tried it on the topmost lock, which clicked right open and the druid turned to high-five the second fighter, who smiled at Hughe smugly. The mage, emboldened by the druid¡¯s success, poked harder at one of the glowing papers during the celebration.


    ¡°One to one,¡± Colt told Lacey. The rogue went back to working on the next lock up from the bottom.


    ¡°But now they know the puzzles will solve things,¡± Lacey was torn between the happiness of seeing her puzzles being worked and wanting the cupcake to herself.


    The mage poked harder as the druid turned to the grid of cups and stepped back. The druid didn¡¯t have a clear view of the pixelated mini-graphic they¡¯d made because the mage was standing in front of it. She turned to another puzzle and Lacey relaxed a bit. It was a puzzle for the lock that the rogue had already opened. The mage finally punched into the glowing paper hard enough to break through and pulled out a fist covered in glowing goo. The rogue lost his shit laughing as the mage was obviously swearing and basically hopping around like a lunatic.


    Hughe got mad at the rogue for stopping and had the nerve to cuff the kid like he had a right to. The second fighter pulled away from the new puzzle the druid was working on and confronted Hughe, who sneered back. The rogue went back to picking the locks, but now the fighter stood over him, pushing between Hughe and the rogue. Lacey liked the second fighter a little more for it. Not as much as Colt was crushing on the druid, but she didn¡¯t want to drop him in the 100¡¯ pit they were holding in reserve for the next time Hughe pissed them off.


    ¡°Dang, I wish we had sound,¡± Colt objected.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey commiserated with him. ¡°Maybe it¡¯ll be an upgrade when we finally get the pedestal to open up and work.¡± If they ever got it to unlock, she thought to herself.


    The mage backed away from the grid of cups to look over the druid¡¯s shoulder and Lacey thought things were swinging in her favor as the rogue got the next lock undone.


    ¡°Two for the rogue and one for the puzzles,¡± Lacey nodded, and she could taste that cupcake.

 Chapter 20 – If You Deny a Man a Cupcake

    ¡°It was close,¡± Colt whined, and this time Lacey liked that he was whining, because he could whine all he wanted as long as she got the first taste of chocolate they¡¯d had since entering this place.


    ¡°It was four to one,¡± Lacey scoffed at him, licking a delectable smudge of frosting off the side of her mouth.


    ¡°Only because she was working on the ones he had already picked,¡± Colt countered, his eyes glued to her mouth and the cupcake. ¡°She got three of the puzzles done by the time he got the fourth lock picked.¡±


    Lacey took a large bite of cupcake in response, savoring the full flavor as it melted on her tongue. It was, quite possibly, the best cupcake she¡¯d ever tasted, and Colt¡¯s mom made a really good cupcake. Still, this one was better, possibly partly because she¡¯d earned it over Colt, which was a rare thing.


    ¡°Come on, Lacey,¡± Colt nearly whimpered, both of them completely distracted from the next few rooms that the adventurers were tackling. ¡°Have mercy and let me order one too. This is torture!¡±


    ¡°Fair is fair,¡± Lacey wagged a finger at him. ¡°You said that whoever lost couldn¡¯t order a cupcake for themselves until after the raid was over and I still see red on that pedestal. You can¡¯t order anything with the pedestal locked anyway.¡±


    ¡°One bite,¡± Colt wheedled, his hands in front of his face in pleading position. ¡°I can smell it.¡±


    Lacey took another bite rather than reply. The next few rooms were simple beetle progression where the beetles got up to level five at the last one, but there were three rooms of lower levels before then and the group was going slowly. The fighters fought. The druid healed. The rogue checked for traps. The mage pretended to be useful while doing almost nothing. Colt watched the screen but kept peeking up at Lacey, who angelically did not smack her lips and gloat¡­ much.


    ¡°If you¡¯re done sucking the crumbs off the cupcake wrapper, they are about to go to a room that should challenge them,¡± Colt sulked.


    Lacey hopped down from her perch on the table and skipped to the pedestal happily, Colt¡¯s sulk just egging her on.


    ¡°There are four level five beetles in there now,¡± Colt pointed to the screen and backed away from the smell that wafted enchantingly off of Lacey.


    ¡°That should challenge even Hughe,¡± Lacey leaned into the pedestal.


    The rogue was holding the door open for the fighters. The non-Hughe fighter with the shield charged in first, his shield knocking a few of the smaller beetles back a bit. Hughe charged in after him and swung his sword dramatically to drive enough of the beetles back to make room for the druid and mage to squeeze in around the rogue. The mage took the door from the rogue and held it open, his wide eyes settling on how many of the larger beetles were in this room and obviously deciding to guard their escape.


    ¡°We¡¯ve got to put some kind of trap on that door that makes that mage stop slacking,¡± Colt suggested, and Lacey shook her head.


    ¡°It¡¯s not our job to train them to do their job,¡± Lacey reminded him.


    The druid was firing off arrows, but she quickly changed out her bow for heal spells.


    ¡°The last room only had one of the level 5s in it and the fighters had trouble tanking it,¡± Colt countered. ¡°This is the perfect place for a fireball.¡±


    ¡°What makes you think he has an area of effect spell like that at his level?¡± Lacey countered.


    The mage cast a single bolt spell out at the smallest beetle, but otherwise seemed to be hoarding his mana. The second fighter was bashing with his shield, but when he swung too hard, he¡¯d get bitten on the leg. Hughe was completely doing his own thing, trying to tank the biggest beetle. The problem with that was that there were three of those biggest beetles who were all focused on him.


    ¡°He leveled up to 3,¡± Colt commented, and it was like they were the sports commentators.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    The mage popped off another bolt at one of the beetles on Hughe.


    ¡°See?¡± Colt pointed. ¡°He¡¯s spreading out his hate across lots of mobs so he doesn¡¯t draw any attention to himself that he can¡¯t handle.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s not as dumb as he looks,¡± Lacey admitted. ¡°Mages are just so useless at lower levels.¡±


    ¡°Yes, but they¡¯re essential at higher levels,¡± Colt interjected to Lacey¡¯s nod.


    The druid looked like she was struggling to keep healing Hughe who seemed unaware of her struggle.


    ¡°He¡¯s going to blame everything on her if they wipe,¡± Lacey predicted, and Colt got a worried look on his face. It was hard not to get involved in the fights. Lacey knew she was firmly on the side of the monsters, especially against Hughe, but it was hard not to also root for the heroes like the druid and second fighter who seemed to be earnestly doing their jobs.


    ¡°It¡¯s not her fault that he¡¯s clueless,¡± Colt protested, as if he could fight Hughe over it. ¡°He¡¯s not even trying to block anything.¡±


    ¡°Maybe he will when she stops healing because she¡¯s out of mana,¡± Lacey noted.


    The druid called out something over the din and the second fighter got a bit pale. Hughe was just mad, but the second fighter called something out and began to back toward the door.


    ¡°She¡¯s out of mana already?¡± Lacey winced and Colt mirrored her.


    The rogue was the first through the door right after the mage. The druid almost didn¡¯t catch the door to hold it while the fighter backed up. Hughe and the fighter had some words that looked like they almost got Hughe killed, but the result was that they all backed out behind the shield and shut the door behind them. The beetles, having learned long ago that doors couldn¡¯t be opened, gave up immediately and turned on each other.


    ¡°I wish we knew their names,¡± Colt sulked again, leaning back on the table to rest since the group would be a while in recovering.


    ¡°Really? All their names or just the name of the druid?¡± Lacey joked with him.


    ¡°It would be nice to stop calling the other fighter, not-Hughe,¡± Colt rested with his elbows on the table behind him, tilting his chair back in a way that his mom would have smacked him for. ¡°I¡¯d fight with that guy.¡±


    ¡°The mage is named Maldory, or something like that,¡± Lacey recalled the name from when Hughe had been complaining about his death. ¡°Do you think they¡¯ll go back in or call it quits?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not betting on it, if that¡¯s what you¡¯re about,¡± Colt snarked at her, but it didn¡¯t have any heat. ¡°I¡¯m getting my own cupcake the instant the dungeon clears to blue.¡±


    ¡°Do you wish you were on their side instead of ours?¡± Lacey asked, wondering if that was even possible.


    ¡°I dunno,¡± Colt admitted, his feet swinging over the edge of the precariously tilted chair, a pensive look on his face. His mom might imagine that he¡¯d fall and split his head open, but Lacey knew better. Lacey knew the Colt who practiced parkour when his family wasn¡¯t around. She knew the guy who played DnD even when his church frowned on it.


    ¡°I know I can¡¯t leave, but maybe you can,¡± Lacey offered because she did know him.


    ¡°Nah,¡± Colt lowered the chair with a thunk and gave her a big smile. ¡°I¡¯d much rather be the bad guy with you than be out there smacking around guys like Hughe for being assholes. At least here, I get rewarded for doing it.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Lacey asked, her voice small. It was the same question she always asked him. Colt could have made friends anywhere. He¡¯d chosen her on a dismal day of her life and pulled her up out of a gutter of self-pity. If it hadn¡¯t been for Colt, she might have been the heroine of 13 Reasons Why.


    ¡°No matter how many times you ask me that, I¡¯m gonna have the same answer,¡± Colt chided her with a gentle chuck under her chin.


    When the third girlfriend told him it was her or Lacey, he¡¯d walked without a backward glance, and Lacey still didn¡¯t understand why. Colt was a charmer, and he dated a lot, but unlike her dad, he didn¡¯t bring many girls home to meet either her or his parents. Lacey dated less frequently and tended to end up with the dregs of society when she finally agreed to go out with a guy. At least that was how she saw it.


    She¡¯d only dated a pretty boy once and he¡¯d turned out to be slimeball. Lacey was an only child, so she was used to looking after herself. She¡¯d slapped the guy for going too far and gotten slapped right back and pushed into a dorm room where nothing good could happen. If Colt hadn¡¯t been waiting to pick her up. If Colt hadn¡¯t had some sense that made him worry. If Colt hadn¡¯t busted into that dorm room and bloodied his knuckles on a pretty boy¡¯s face.


    Lacey shook her head to clear it. It had been more than a year ago, but she hadn¡¯t dated since. She¡¯d told Colt she was going to try dating girls, but he¡¯d talked her out of that. They talked about anything and everything, including the fact that she didn¡¯t swing that way any more than he liked guys. He constantly reminded her that guys weren¡¯t all jerks. They¡¯d dated a few times half a year ago, but she could tell that he was just doing it to get her to go out at all. When he¡¯d ended up making eyes at the waitress, she¡¯d laughingly told him to go for it. The waitress hadn¡¯t lasted, but she and Colt had gone back to being solidly friend-zoned, much to both their relief.


    ¡°But keep asking, because it makes me feel like you need me half as much as I need you,¡± Colt said, and Lacey didn¡¯t miss the shadows in his own eyes as he said it, even though he was grinning his most winning smile at her.


    ¡°Incursion repelled,¡± the pedestal announced, and the mood was broken as Colt lunged for the pedestal to order his own cupcake. The lights turned blue. ¡°Experience doubled for voluntary retreat without casualties.¡±

 Chapter 21 – When You Give a DM Treasure!

    ¡°Did we just get experience without killing them?¡± Colt asked, just as Lacey asked, ¡°Is this really the first time we didn¡¯t kill anyone?¡±


    ¡°There was the one time I let Hughe go,¡± Colt mused, trying to figure out how they didn¡¯t know the best way to get experience.


    ¡°He didn¡¯t kill anything that time though,¡± Lacey worked through it with Colt, ¡°so it doesn¡¯t count if they don¡¯t kill anything.¡±


    ¡°What about the first time when he almost killed us all the way down here?¡± Colt posited, his cupcake materializing as he asked for it.


    ¡°That was a dungeon wipe before he withdrew,¡± Lacey pushed Colt aside to try to scroll to something that would make it make sense. They¡¯d gotten more experience, but they didn¡¯t have access to whatever would tell them how much experience they¡¯d gotten.


    ¡°The point is that we got double experience,¡± Colt wiped a bit of frosting from his cheek and stuck it in his mouth.


    ¡°Double of what?¡± Lacey slammed her palm on the edge of the pedestal. ¡°How can we know if it''s cost-effective unless we can run the numbers? It¡¯s impossible!¡±


    ¡°Lace,¡± Colt pushed her out of the way and ordered them both another cupcake. They were hoping that, after they ate 10 of the cupcakes, they would be given an upgrade that was more economical. Ordering the cupcakes had given them access to some of the ingredients of the cupcakes, including the cupcake papers that they¡¯d used to make the cup and paper punch-out puzzle. ¡°Let¡¯s just work under the assumption that double experience is good, and dungeon wipes are bad. We at least made enough credits to buy a few cupcakes, right?¡±


    ¡°Maybe, but I just can¡¯t tell,¡± Lacey took her cupcake and sulked over to the table to eat it. ¡°We don¡¯t want to be doing a bunch of things that aren¡¯t efficient or don¡¯t make money.¡±


    ¡°Did you reset the rooms?¡± Colt asked, finishing off his first cupcake with a large bite so that he could grab his second one.


    ¡°No,¡± Lacey peeled the wrapper on her cupcake back carefully. They¡¯d used the cupcake wrappers to cover the cups because it didn¡¯t cost as much as real paper. They didn¡¯t have access to real paper anyway yet, and there weren¡¯t books anywhere on the pedestal. They hadn¡¯t been able to use the used cupcake papers because they were gross and not very malleable, but Lacey would be sucking on that paper for an hour rather than waste a single taste of the chocolate cake.


    ¡°I¡¯ll do it,¡± Colt was dripping crumbs of his cupcake on the pedestal that Ginger was avidly dusting even as the crumbs fell.


    ¡°And did we still make credits even after we have to reset the rooms?¡± Lacey wondered aloud. While Colt was happy to scatter crumbs around, Lacey ate her cupcake carefully so that she didn¡¯t miss out on a single morsel.


    ¡°Are you sure you didn¡¯t reset the rooms?¡± Colt asked her, cupcake frozen halfway to his mouth.


    ¡°Yeah, I¡¯m sure,¡± Lacey replied.


    ¡°Then this way is the way we¡¯re supposed to be doing it,¡± Colt smiled at Lacey, but he was so easily amused that she didn¡¯t immediately smile back. ¡°The rooms reset automatically. I¡¯m pretty sure we didn¡¯t lose a dime doing it.¡±


    ¡°Wait, really?¡± Lacey put down her cupcake on the table to squeeze between Colt and the pedestal and stare at the screen. Even the monsters had respawned.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t reset them, and you didn¡¯t reset them and¡­¡± he paused to flick to the room where the larger beetles had pushed the adventurers back. ¡°Is that a treasure box?¡±


    ¡°It looks like a treasure chest,¡± Lacey agreed, watching as Colt moved the treasure so that it sat in the room next to them. As Colt tapped the treasure, the system told them that the treasure was a level 1 treasure chest. Colt was already half out the door to retrieve their prize. The thought that they¡¯d get prizes as the dungeon hadn¡¯t even occurred to Lacey.


    Before Ginger could start dusting again from the frozen state that resulted from Colt moving things, Colt had brought the treasure chest into the control room. Lacey moved her cupcake quickly so that he could set the chest on their table. They stared at the chest, wide-eyed, until Ginger reanimated enough to clap for them. They looked at Ginger and then back at the chest.


    ¡°You do it,¡± Colt waved at the chest.


    ¡°You do it,¡± Lacey rebutted, her nerves so tight she thought her hands would shake too hard.


    ¡°Okay,¡± Colt grinned like a kid at Christmas. He flicked the small latch on the front of the chest and eased the top open to look inside.


    Lacey stood on her tiptoes beside the chest, her cupcake almost forgotten. ¡°Is that a book?¡±


    The chest was about 2 and half feet wide by one and a half feet wide and two feet deep, not that it was packed to the brim with enough treasure to justify its bulk. There were a few dozen coins of different colors and sizes, as well as a few daggers, and a big book that sat in the middle of it all. Amidst the coins were about a dozen different-sized locks with keys stuck out of them and a bundle of good steel springs that were worth more to Lacey than the coins. There were also two smaller chests that were each about 6¡± across, each with a brass plate with their names on them.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    ¡°Please make that be a manual, please make it be a manual,¡± Lacey chanted, crossing her fingers on both hands while deftly not fumbling her cupcake.


    ¡°It¡¯s not a manual,¡± Colt said, pulling the book out and staring at the cover with a frown. There wasn¡¯t a title on the book¡¯s cover, nor on the spine and when Colt flipped it open and ran his thumb along the pages, they could see that it was blank.


    ¡°A blank book,¡± Lacey uncrossed her fingers and took a bite of cupcake to assuage her disappointment.


    ¡°Maybe a diary?¡± Colt suggested, pulling out a small box of pencils that had been nestled underneath the book.


    ¡°Are those drawing pencils?¡± Lacey reached for the pencils eagerly. Lacey¡¯s dad had threatened to stop paying for college when she¡¯d changed her major to art, but she had still managed to fit in a few electives that her dad only scowled at. She had justified it as a necessary skill for an engineer, a degree she hadn¡¯t completed after she¡¯d lost her nerve about halfway through. ¡°They are drawing pencils!¡±


    ¡°So, a sketch pad,¡± Colt mused, handing it off to Lacey, who put her cupcake down and wiped her fingers on her shirt before taking the book from him.


    ¡°A leatherbound sketch pad?¡± Lacey considered the thick book, with a frown. It had hundreds of pages, with the first half blank and the last half grid paper. ¡°I get that it¡¯s treasure for us and the locks and springs are great too, but this is a pretty hefty book for just sketching.¡±


    ¡°Grid paper,¡± Colt pondered. ¡°I wonder if there¡¯s a way to transfer dungeon designs from the book to the pedestal.¡±


    ¡°Probably only once we unlock the stupid thing,¡± Lacey tried to stay pessimistic, but she was excited about the possibilities of the book.


    ¡°At the very least, it¡¯s probably unlocked real paper in the pedestal store, right?¡± Colt suggested, stuffing the last of his cupcake in his mouth with a contented sigh.


    Lacey bolted to the pedestal to check, and they did indeed have a new section on planning materials for the dungeon. They had the steel springs that were stronger than the copper ones from before, and they had a variety of chests too. And the chests were practically free, like the system wanted them to use them. ¡°Okay, yeah,¡± Lacey breathed. ¡°This makes it worth it.¡±


    Colt gave her a grin and pulled his smaller chest out of the trunk. Lacey pulled herself away from the pedestal long enough to grab her own small chest, but she waited to see what he got first. He tilted back the lid and pulled out what looked like a few small valves or plumbing pipes and some rubber tubing.


    ¡°Oh yeah,¡± Colt fingered the tubing like it was the second date. ¡°The system approves of my little bootlegging endeavors.¡±


    ¡°What is that stuff?¡± Lacey asked, bemused.


    ¡°Technically, what I did to make alcohol shouldn¡¯t have worked,¡± Colt shrugged. ¡°The fact that I handed some raw fermented alcohol off to some goblin workers and let them finish it with some magic was what made Adam not want to tell Eve about it. With a little more hardware and a little more time, we can do it without magic, but right now what we¡¯re doing should have killed a few goblins and made us all sick.¡±


    ¡°It did taste a bit more like cleaning solution than even a simple moonshine, but I wasn¡¯t going to spoil the party,¡± Lacey shrugged and gave Colt a smirk. ¡°I wonder what other things might work for us, even though we don¡¯t quite have everything for it.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s in yours?¡± Colt prodded her to open her own chest.


    Lacey cracked open the box and then gave a laugh. Inside the small chest was a whole stack of cupcake papers, at the bottom of which was a coupon for 100 clay cups. Underneath that was a small and simple lockpick set engraved with her name on each tool and housed in a simple leather pouch. Considering that Lacey had stolen every cup the goblins had made to make her little grid, this was a big win for her, or at least a way to pay back the goblins who were currently drinking out of buckets and ladles until the new cups dried enough to carry liquids.


    ¡°I guess the system approves of our puzzle room too,¡± Colt¡¯s laughter pinged off their walls and for the first time in a long time Lacey felt like they were getting somewhere.


    ¡°I was thinking about how we set things up and I think we can do better,¡± Lacey fingered the lockpicking tools, flipping the flap of the leather pouch open and closed as she thought. ¡°The puzzle room really slowed them down, but not as much as the mobs that drained their mana.¡±


    ¡°And they weren¡¯t sitting there bored in the puzzle room like they would be if they were meditating to get mana back,¡± Colt pointed out, both of them going back to the pedestal to rework their design.


    ¡°The first few rooms were well-balanced,¡± Lacey nodded at them. ¡°But they got overwhelmed too easily as the levels went up. If we want a treasure that¡¯s level 2, we¡¯re going to have to give them more grinding rooms.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt agreed, scrolling to copy a few of the first rooms. ¡°Do you think they get bonuses or experience for doing the puzzles?¡±


    ¡°If they don¡¯t, then they don¡¯t have a reason to focus on the puzzles,¡± Lacey considered what Colt was saying. ¡°But if the puzzles were what awarded treasure instead of what got them further in the dungeon, then we could give them mobs to grind experience on and puzzles to give access to treasure chests.¡±


    ¡°We were thinking that giving out treasure would make us broke, but there¡¯s a reason we got a bunch of cheap chests,¡± Colt nodded to the table. ¡°I don¡¯t think we¡¯d get coins as treasure for us when we get credits directly deposited into our pedestal for most stuff. Why go to the trouble of putting it in a chest just to have us pour it into the pedestal?¡±


    They scrolled through screens full of new stuff that had been unlocked as they¡¯d accessed their treasure. Colt was right in that coins and chests were cheap, while the trap mechanisms were expensive. When they did dump a coin into the pedestal, it had almost half the value of what they could buy them for, which was almost nothing. The coins were cheap, but they were made of useful metals that they could use. Copper was easily workable, and when they bought crafting hammers and equipped the goblins, their resourceful minions could make basic shapes. When Colt laid down to sleep that night, he did so on his bunk, now adorned with the small brass plaque that had been on his small chest. Lacey¡¯s bunk, also similarly labeled, would have to wait until Colt got some sleep because they were both still nervous about sleeping at the same time. One hundred-year sleep was more than enough for both of them.

 Chapter 22 – When Tweetle Beetles Battle

    Hughe and his group showed up again the next morning like clockwork. Lacey tapped Colt awake to watch and rubbed her own eyes to stay awake until they were done. The adventurers didn¡¯t flinch at the bat excursion this time, but Hughe did swing at a bat again only to get himself a shoulder of guano for his trouble. There were now three rooms of the easy baby beetles, which they¡¯d figured out how to preserve at baby levels by pausing the room¡¯s growth until the adventurers broke the spell by entering the room. Completing each of the baby beetle rooms provided a small chest of 10 copper coins and the key to the door, but only if the adventurers noticed and did the puzzle next to the door rather than picking the level 1 padlock on it.


    Hughe¡¯s group didn¡¯t bother for the first two rooms, but the druid ran her fingers along the raised runes on the doorway as she left the second room. As the two fighters stomped the beetles in the third room, the druid walked straight to the door and motioned the mage over next to her. The runes were a copy of the numbers that the system used for one through four. If pressed in order, a panel opened to reveal the small chest.


    The druid pressed the runes, but not in the correct sequence.


    ¡°They don¡¯t understand the number system any better than we did when we first saw it,¡± Lacey said, watching as Colt looked around for his breakfast.


    ¡°It¡¯s just one, two, three, four,¡± Colt argued, frowning at not finding anything. ¡°But now we know that the numbering system isn¡¯t the one used outside of the dungeon. I just don¡¯t get why our pedestal was coded out. There¡¯s no way a guy like Hughe would have been able to work the pedestal the way it is.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ve got at least another week before our password reset timer runs out,¡± Lacey groused, letting him chew and swallow before asking her question. ¡°Maybe we should have used morse code instead of the number system.¡±


    ¡°We can change it for next time,¡± Colt waved away her concern and looked over her shoulder to watch the druid.


    ¡°We should have used three different codes,¡± Lacey muttered, ticking them off on her fingers. ¡°Morse code, roman numerals, and the pedestal code.¡±


    ¡°Next time,¡± Colt laid a hand on her shoulder and patted gently, not that Lacey noticed. She was in the zone.


    ¡°She isn¡¯t even trying,¡± Lacey complained, waving her hand over the druid in disgust.


    ¡°Lace,¡± Colt said softly. ¡°She¡¯s not you.¡±


    ¡°You can say that again,¡± Lacey went back to muttering.


    The druid still didn¡¯t get the cipher before the thief picked the lock on the door and the group abandoned the room without the treasure, much to Lacey¡¯s frustration. As the group entered the fourth room, they got more challenging beetles. It wasn¡¯t a big challenge, but it was more than stomping bugs. Lacey could only think that it was a good thing beetles procreated so quickly.


    ¡°Nobody is you,¡± Colt chuckled. ¡°You should get some sleep.¡±


    ¡°Not until I see how it plays out,¡± Lacey shook her head.


    The rooms that had been included in the successful first run had been given a few bonus features. First, the rooms could be copied and pasted, which was how they¡¯d quickly duplicated the grinding rooms. More importantly, the room could be kept in a stasis so that once it was set, they could freeze the rooms until the adventurers ventured into them. This allowed them to keep the beetles at a set level instead of just filling the room with beetles and hoping that enough leveled up to provide the right challenge level.


    The problem was that they had slightly changed the rooms making it so that they had to manually refill them this round. Lacey was hoping they could set the rooms after this incursion, but was only now realizing that she would need to tweak them again. It would just be little tweaks, but adding the panels had been enough to make it so they couldn¡¯t set the rooms this time around. Maybe she¡¯d keep one panel with the pedestal numbering system just to be able to keep a room. As it was, she was cycling rooms half the night so that as soon as the beetles started to fight, the room became one of the second level grinding rooms. She had several rooms that were probably too high for this group with beetles that were still growing past level 6. The problem with those rooms was that the beetle life cycle wasn¡¯t long enough to keep that growth coming.


    They¡¯d lost a level 8 beetle to old age the previous night. Realizing she had too many rooms of beetles that would age out, she put a few of the beetle rooms on the lower levels for the goblin squad to tackle. That had worked for the level 2-3 and 3-4 rooms, but anything more than that caused too many casualties for it to be cost effective. At least Adam and Eve¡¯s elite squads knew to try the puzzles, but the goblins really weren¡¯t smart enough to simulate adventurers. Then again, the goblins had figured out the first few panels when Lacey had put little things like yeast or flour in the treasure chests. Goblins were motivated by different things than adventurers.


    ¡°You¡¯re just waiting to see if they manage better on the puzzles this time around,¡± Colt¡¯s eyes were also glued to the screen on the pedestal.


    ¡°They have two more grinding rooms of level 2 and 3 beetles before they get there,¡± Lacey grumbled impatiently.


    Now that the druid was focused on helping her party battle the beetles, she gave up on the puzzles. Lacey knew that eventually they¡¯d figure out one of the panels and then know that the panels hid treasure, but until then, they were bypassing them altogether. She couldn¡¯t have walked through a room of puzzles without having to figure them out, but Colt was right, that was just her obsession.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t order me breakfast?¡± Colt asked, and she could tell that he was trying not to be sulky.


    ¡°Sorry,¡± Lacey hid a secretive smile. ¡°Though there might be something in your small chest.¡±


    ¡°I knew you wouldn¡¯t forget me,¡± Colt was smiling until he picked up his chest and found it locked. ¡°Lace?¡±The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°If it¡¯s worth it, you¡¯ll try harder,¡± Lacey said, pulling her lockpicks out of her back pocket and waving them at Colt. The tiny lock was only a level 1, but Colt had resisted learning the skill for years.


    ¡°Dirty pool, Lace,¡± Colt growled, but he sniffed the chest. ¡°Is that? Do I smell bacon?¡±


    ¡°Maybe,¡± Lacey raised a brow at him.


    ¡°So not fair,¡± Colt complained, but he took the picks from her hand and sat to work on the chest.


    ¡°I just found that the chest keeps the food warm is all,¡± Lacey¡¯s eyes glittered with smugness.


    ¡°Let me know when they get to the puzzle room.¡± Colt bit his lip as he applied the tension tool and chose a double rake as Lacey shook her head.


    ¡°I won¡¯t let you miss anything,¡± Lacey reassured him.


    The party was resting between rooms, and while the druid had to have her eyes closed as she regained mana through meditation, the second fighter took the time to examine the panel on the wall. They¡¯d upped the difficulty of the puzzle for the higher-level room. It was a five-button combination instead of the four-button one in the previous rooms. Once the rogue had picked the lock to the next room, he joined the fighter. They ignored Hughe, who looked to be waving his hand at the panel like he couldn¡¯t be bothered.


    ¡°What better thing do you have to do, Hughe?¡± Lacey was back to muttering.


    ¡°What?¡± Colt was distracted from the lockpicking.


    ¡°Hughe is just being his normal jerky self,¡± Lacey commented, waving Colt back to his own puzzle.


    The rogue was nimble and impatient enough to just start punching in random combinations. Lacey didn¡¯t blame him. The numbering system without some key code somewhere was almost impossible to decipher. She and Colt had only figured out the basic numbers from the system telling them some numbers when they tapped on them. The first 5 numbers were easy because goblin stats didn¡¯t go over 5, so they had the direct translation for 1-5. They¡¯d gotten 6-9 from the health points mostly. That was why Lacey had put a translation for the first 9 numbers in the rooms, not that anyone had looked¡­up.


    Colt had painstakingly etched a children¡¯s workbook page on the ceiling that none of the party had looked up to find. If one laid on their back, there were the system numbers on one side of the ¡°page¡± and several different kinds of clues on the other side. It was like a child¡¯s workbook in that lines were etched so that they linked the number to the corresponding answer. Lacey had made it super easy. They still had to look up to find it. Instead, they were inputting random combinations like that ever worked. Lacey felt a little better about having to unlock two drawers to get the clue to look up. No matter how many times you were warned about dark mantles hanging out on the ceiling, a person didn¡¯t tend to look at the ceiling of a room unless they passed out.


    ¡°They¡¯re getting to the puzzle room,¡± Lacey warned Colt, who was still trying to break open the tiny lock. He just wasn¡¯t putting consistent enough pressure on the tension bar, but he wouldn¡¯t appreciate her helping, so she kept it to herself.


    ¡°But bacon,¡± Colt whimpered.


    ¡°Fine,¡± Lacey said and pulled the key out of her back pocket so he could focus on the puzzle room.


    ¡°Not this again,¡± Lacey mimicked Hughe¡¯s stupid voice as he moved his lips on the screen and threw up his hands.


    ¡°But it¡¯s the same puzzles,¡± Colt pitched his voice high for the druid, who was shrugging and pointing at the puzzle she¡¯d solved first last time.


    ¡°If I was that rogue, I¡¯d be challenging the druid to a race,¡± Lacey tapped the screen.


    ¡°Puzzle level 10, unsolved,¡± the system told them.


    ¡°Really?¡± Lacey complained. ¡°It¡¯s just a gif.¡±


    ¡°Lacey, it¡¯s a gif of a donkey¡¯s butt where you have to punch the asshole to get the prize,¡± Colt chided her dismissal of the puzzle¡¯s depth.


    ¡°It¡¯s pin the tail on the donkey,¡± Lacey denied the lewdness that he was suggesting. ¡°And they could pick up the donkey¡¯s tail and use it to punch the hole instead of using their hand. It¡¯s not obscene. It¡¯s a childhood party game.¡±


    ¡°The donkey tail is a whisk broom,¡± Colt added, his brows raised halfway up his forehead. ¡°And you hid it under the pile of discarded pots in the corner.¡±


    ¡°It sort of looks like a donkey tail,¡± Lacey insisted, her nose twitching.


    ¡°My whisk broom,¡± Ginger said under her breath from her corner of the room, where she was using a big broom to scoop floor dust into a small tray she used as a dustpan.


    The complaint struck Lacey not because it was untrue, but because she¡¯d never heard the small goblin girl complain about anything. ¡°I¡¯ll get you another one,¡± Lacey cocked her head to the side at the little goblin, who just frowned back.


    ¡°I liked that one,¡± Ginger sulked. ¡°I¡¯d cut it to be angled just right.¡±


    ¡°Sorry,¡± Lacey frowned at Ginger. ¡°I¡¯ll bring it back and use something else.¡±


    ¡°What is a donkey anyway?¡± Ginger asked.


    ¡°It¡¯s like a horse,¡± Colt tried to explain, but Ginger still looked confused.


    Lacey tried to ignore them, but the party had just redone the puzzles the druid had gotten before and had the thief start picking the last two locks. ¡°I¡¯ll draw one for you later, but right now I want to see if they can get the other two puzzles,¡± Lacey interrupted Colt trying to explain what a horse was.


    ¡°Fine,¡± Ginger sniffed, and Lacey thought the little goblin was picking up some bad habits from the way Colt and Lacey talked to each other. Then again, why shouldn¡¯t she? The goblins were like children in how they picked up crafts or chores they were assigned. Why wouldn¡¯t they pick up some of their makers¡¯ mannerisms?


    Back in the puzzle room, Lacey could see that the mage had backed away from the wall of cups to go to the last puzzle, which was a ball maze, where one had to drop a set of balls into numbered holes. Lacey had used regular numbers for it, but the three balls had to be put into hole one, then hole two, then hole three in that order. The maze itself was made of wood and had a ¡°start here¡± spot where the ball should have been placed. If a person touched the ball in any other place on the maze, the maze reset.


    Anyone who did escape rooms would have understood all that, but the adventurers kept trying things that broke the rules and making the maze start over. The mage was naturally impatient and kept trying to drop the balls directly into the holes in different combinations. Lacey hadn¡¯t had a plastic sheet to put over the top of the maze, only the magic that would reset the maze if a rule was broken. She had to admit that the idea was probably too sophisticated for the venue.


    ¡°They just don¡¯t get that one,¡± Colt tapped on the screen.


    ¡°Puzzle, maze, level 2,¡± the system told them.


    ¡°It might be a low level, but they aren¡¯t even using it right,¡± Lacey complained. ¡°They haven¡¯t even figured out that the maze moves or that they can use the handles to tilt the maze and move the balls from the starting spot.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll think of something else,¡± Colt took a bite of the newest version of the breakfast burrito that included bacon instead of sausage.


    ¡°Puzzle, punch-out, level 4,¡± the system said, when Lacey hit the cups puzzle with the donkey. She did think it might be a little too pixelated of a graphic to be readily apparent, but if one stepped back far enough, it seemed pretty clear to her. Then again, the monitor showed it from a distance they didn¡¯t really have in the room. There were definitely ways to make her puzzles better. It was admittedly easier for a general thief to pick the locks than figure things out just like it was a lot quicker to get a hint than work the room in a regular escape room.


    ¡°Then again, if they remember the puzzles every time, this isn¡¯t going to work,¡± Colt broke into Lacey¡¯s determined mindset. ¡°They just breezed through the ones from before.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll have to figure out how to change it up,¡± Lacey admitted. ¡°We don¡¯t need the preservation on this room anyway since there aren¡¯t beetles that we¡¯re trying to keep at a consistent level.¡±


    ¡°The graphic can change,¡± Colt suggested. ¡°That will make it so that they have to guess which ones to punch out each time.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not changing the pin the tail on the donkey graphic until Hughe sticks his hand in a few cups of glowing bat guano first,¡± Lacey insisted, waving her finger in Colt¡¯s face where he was rolling his eyes.

 Chapter 23 – Duct Tape, Bubblegum, and Bailing Wire

    A week of dungeon incursions later, and a few things were clear to Lacey and Colt. First, for some unknown reason, the adventurers always arrived in the morning, about an hour after dawn, like clockwork. Second, this would get old. There were only so many ways to jump scare an adventurer with a bat or two, arrange beetles for battles that suited their levels, and rearrange puzzles so that they gave just the right amount of satisfaction versus frustration. They, as dungeon masters, were getting better at it and Hughe¡¯s party, as adventurers, were leveling up quickly. The dungeon was level 5 and the adventurers ranged from 4-7 with even the mage becoming more useful at level 4. The rogue gained the most at level 7.


    The dungeon had expanded again, with more than 71 rooms on 13 levels to offer challenges not only for Hughe and his party, but also for a party that ranged up to at least level 10, though they had to keep refreshing that one because the party normally left before then and the high-leveled beetle would die of old age after three days of battling other beetles. Lacey and Colt had continued to get new treasure, including glass that would have made the maze idea better if Hughe hadn¡¯t just broken the glass rather than play the game. They also got duct tape, bubble gum, and bailing wire.


    Having gotten tired of feeding Hughe¡¯s self-absorbed ego, Lacey had just deleted the puzzle in favor of another pin the tail on the donkey puzzle with Hughe¡¯s face sketched on the paper where the donkey tail should have been pinned. She and Colt found it hilarious, but Hughe had totally missed the point, obliviously amused with Lacey¡¯s rendition of him. He¡¯d peeled the paper off to keep and still managed to miss the key that was hidden behind it.


    The top 12 levels were ready for adventurers with each level designed for that level of adventurer. That way it was easy enough for even Hughe to know when he was better off going home. Lacey and Colt had decided to get ahead of the curve and were outpacing Hughe¡¯s progress capabilities every day, but it was clear that it was getting stale. There were just so many monsters that they had to work with and nothing had really opened up in the store for more types of monsters as they¡¯d leveled, which frustrated Lacey.


    There were 18 total levels of the dungeon, each with 5-6 rooms on it and stairways that led from one level to another. The goblins lived mostly on the bottom five levels that Lacey and Colt hadn¡¯t had to expand since the goblins were happy to do it for them. The bottom 5 levels had more rooms than the ones up top. Every time Lacey and Colt made a new level for the adventurers, they moved the goblin city down another level. The goblins were the workers for the most part, with only an elite guard of ten or so goblins, including Adam and Eve, who were the same levels as Hughe¡¯s group.


    Lacey and Colt didn¡¯t want to pit the adventurers against the goblins because they didn¡¯t want to lose them, but the elite squad was the last defense against an incursion that went too deep. Lacey had set up a failsafe on the 13<sup>th</sup> floor, but it was a last resort that the goblins could set off if the elite squad got overwhelmed. Not that Hughe¡¯s group was even close to being capable of it.


    ¡°Colt,¡± Lacey called out to Colt from the table where she was drawing in the leather sketchbook again. ¡°Wakey, wakey.¡±


    True to her word, Lacey had drawn a donkey for Ginger, who had taken some duct tape and taped it up on the wall of their cave. Secretly pleased by the goblin¡¯s pride in Lacey¡¯s work, Lacey had drawn more things to hang up on the wall. After a long day of creating levels for the dungeon, Lacey found it calming to draw things from their old world. She¡¯d drawn bears, which Ginger had said roamed in the forest outside the dungeon, making Lacey think that they might have to lure one into the cave just to get more mobs to change things up for the dungeon. She¡¯d also drawn tigers, cats, eagles, a small dragon, and some mythological creatures that were creative mixes of the predators that Lacey could imagine.


    ¡°Colt,¡± Lacey called out again, filling in some shading on her newest endeavor, which was to draw Ginger. ¡°Bacon.¡±


    Colt snorted awake and pried an eye open to stare blearily at Lacey sitting at the table. ¡°You are not blonde.¡±


    ¡°No, but I ordered breakfast, and you have about ten minutes before Hughe shows up,¡± Lacey replied, unconcerned about his dream-induced comment.


    ¡°Did you say bacon?¡± Colt propped himself up on an elbow and rubbed his eyes.


    ¡°Yep,¡± Lacey nodded toward the plate of bacon and eggs on the table. The goblins had learned how to cook them, but they still had to order eggs off the pedestal since Lacey didn¡¯t have the option of buying chickens and a coop. Ginger had fried it all up moments before Lacey had woken Colt.This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    ¡°Good morning, Colt,¡± Ginger said, blushing as she turned away as he pulled on his clean jeans. Ginger¡¯s speech had improved a lot more than some of the other goblins that spent all their time with other goblins.


    ¡°If you want the eggs hot, you need to get up,¡± Lacey smiled with half her mouth. ¡°I¡¯m not going to serve you in bed like Ginger might.¡±


    ¡°I can serve in bed,¡± Ginger offered, and Lacey chuckled.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you could, Ginger,¡± Lacey then pressed her lips together and gave Colt a dewy-eyed look and teasing bat of her lashes.


    ¡°I like eating at the table,¡± Colt just responded with a stern scowl. ¡°It¡¯s too early for my brain to process shenanigans.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not too early for a blonde,¡± Lacey teased him, and he flipped her off. Yeah, they¡¯d been gone too long from his mom¡¯s place.


    ¡°The breakfast is good, Ginger,¡± Colt said, almost automatically after a few bites. ¡°Thank you.¡±


    Ginger blushed and swept an already clean floor just a bit faster. Lacey rolled her eyes with a smirk.


    ¡°Not bad,¡± Colt told Lacey, glancing over her shoulder as she drew. ¡°Has she seen it yet.¡±


    ¡°Not yet,¡± Lacey admitted, her tone soft.


    ¡°You should give her a catlike body,¡± Colt suggested, popping the last bite of bacon in his mouth.


    ¡°Really?¡± Lacey asked, but something was prickling at the back of her awareness. ¡°I¡¯m not drawing it for your fantasies.¡±


    ¡°Ugh, it¡¯s not like that,¡± Colt hissed, trying to say it quiet enough for Ginger not to hear.


    ¡°It¡¯s not?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± he told Lacey, his tone low and serious. He changed his tone to light and louder to address Ginger, ¡°Hey, Ginger, could you take this down to the water cavern to wash it up?¡± He held out the plate and waited with a big smile for Ginger to take it.


    Lacey knew that Colt wasn¡¯t really interested in Ginger, but he was a complete flirt all the time. Her teasing was just that. It was teasing banter that they did all the time. But Ginger seemed to be getting a pretty serious crush on her partner and Lacey was also trying to make Colt aware of the potential problem. And still, it wasn¡¯t that problem that niggled at Lacey.


    ¡°Lay off of the stuff with Ginger,¡± Colt admonished Lacey once Ginger had padded down the stairs and out of the room.


    ¡°She has the Colt crush,¡± Lacey shook her head and added a highlight to Ginger¡¯s eyes in her drawing that captured the crush on the paper.


    ¡°I know, but what can I do about it?¡± Colt was saying, but Lacey put down the leather notebook, tucking her favorite pencil between the pages to save her place.


    Lacey had gotten a feel for the timing of the world. The goblins woke and started their chores at the same time every day, just around the time the sun came up outside. Ginger would come in with clean laundry and an offer of breakfast a bit after that. That¡¯s when Lacey started to wake up Colt. Colt would finish his breakfast around the time the adventurers were finishing the baby beetle rooms. She was just getting into the swing of this routine. It was too soon to change it up.


    ¡°Where¡¯s Hughe?¡± Lacey asked, getting up from the table to walk to the pedestal.


    ¡°He¡¯s a little late, but,¡± Colt started, but he was already into his part of the routine, putting on his boots to start the day. Only that normally happened around the time that the adventurers hit the second baby beetle room.


    ¡°The dungeon¡¯s still blue,¡± Lacey scrolled through rooms of the dungeon that were primed for the impending incursion.


    ¡°Not everyone loves routine like you do, Lace,¡± Colt laughed at her concern, lacing up leather armor. ¡°Maybe they just took a day off. They¡¯ve been going at it every day for what?¡±


    ¡°Eight days,¡± Lacey answered in what Colt probably considered a far too accurate report. Lacey counted things. That¡¯s what Lacey did.


    ¡°Maybe they went to church this week,¡± Colt sauntered to the pedestal. ¡°Even the Lord rested once a week. It¡¯s not a bad idea. It wouldn¡¯t kill us to take a day off.¡±


    Lacey frowned, but let Colt wrapped his arm around her shoulder and led her to the bed.


    ¡°All work and no sleep makes Lacey a very grumpy person,¡± Colt was saying. ¡°You get to go to sleep early, and I¡¯ll wake you if they show up, not that there will be any surprises to watch. You can only watch a rerun so many times before it just isn¡¯t fun to watch anymore.¡±


    ¡°But,¡± Lacey protested weakly.


    ¡°Hop up,¡± Colt was assuring her as he always did when she got this way, so Lacey felt like maybe he was right. He was often right about stuff like this. It made perfect sense that Hughe was just taking a day off.


    ¡°But,¡± Lacey gave another squeak of protest, but she accepted Colt¡¯s boost up to her bunk.


    ¡°I promise to wake you if anything weird happens,¡± Colt soothed as Ginger returned from washing dishes. Colt took off Lacey¡¯s boots and handed them off to Ginger. ¡°Not that anything is going to happen that our good little dungeon can¡¯t handle.¡±


    ¡°Sure,¡± Lacey let herself be convinced, handing off her jeans and t-shirt for cleaning as she snuggled down into her covers in just her tank top and underwear. She was thinking that she should at least wear enough clothes to sleep so she could jump out of bed, but she let Colt talk her into getting comfortable.


    The man should have been a bard or a psychologist who specialized in hypnotic reprogramming. He could and did pitch his voice at just the right level to make Lacey nod off even with the small feeling in the back of her head that this was a bad idea. Colt might dream of busty blondes in chainmail bikinis, but Lacey was smarter than that, right? Right?

 Chapter 24B – Nothing Like a Good Night’s Sleep

    It wasn¡¯t the first time Lacey had woken to alarms and a red dungeon, but this time Colt¡¯s tone wasn¡¯t soothing. It was clipped and demanding. Her sleep-muddled mind didn¡¯t quite understand what he was saying yet, but he was stressed. The alarms were in her head, but Colt¡¯s snapping voice wasn¡¯t.


    ¡°You were right, Lacey,¡± Colt¡¯s clipped voice came out a little too loud. ¡°Get up, fast. Sorry.¡±


    That woke her as quickly as the word bacon had woken him. Lacey was already sliding down off the upper bunk to Colt¡¯s bunk underneath. She tugged on her jeans and t-shirt, then got to work on her boots and leathers as Colt filled her in.


    ¡°Hughe¡¯s back, but not with the normal group,¡± Colt snapped out, tapping on the pedestal.


    ¡°Fighter, level 26,¡± the system said, and Lacey¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°Thief, level 24. Cleric, level 26.¡±


    ¡°We aren¡¯t calibrated for adventurers that high,¡± Lacey huffed out like the system¡¯s revelation had driven the breath from her lungs.


    ¡°There are only 3 of them and Hughe,¡± Colt blew out a breath and threw up his hands. ¡°But that thief is the real problem. He blew through all our locks on level one like they were made of paper.¡±


    ¡°How deep did they get?¡± Lacey hopped, trying to get one of her boots all the way on while walking to the pedestal to see the damage.


    ¡°They just got through level 3,¡± Colt growled out the apology that Lacey brushed off. She didn¡¯t blame Colt.


    Lacey got to the pedestal in time to see the fighter treat the level four beetles on level 3 like they were the baby beetles on level 1. Hughe and his party had barely gotten through half of level 6, and that had taken them four hours to accomplish. They were only that fast because the mage had a new spell that set fire to half the beetles in the room. The fighter took on the beetles while the rogue picked the locks. The cleric poked at the puzzles that Hughe¡¯s group never did figure out. The cleric was decoding the puzzle panels like he spoke the language, pocketing the small chests at each door.


    ¡°They figured out the treasure panels,¡± Lacey whispered, her mind unable to process so quickly what was happening.


    ¡°The cleric looked up sometime during the first floor,¡± Colt admitted. ¡°I had just gotten to the pedestal. I thought it was just Hughe¡¯s group coming in late and didn¡¯t want to wake you up if it was just a rerun of yesterday.¡±


    ¡°Makes sense,¡± Lacey said, and Colt¡¯s shoulders relaxed. ¡°All we can do is watch anyway.¡±


    It was true. The pedestal was locked as the team picked Hughe up off the floor and dragged him to the next room where they threw him in a corner and proceeded to tear through that room the same way they had the previous one.


    ¡°Hughe was protesting all through the first level, I think,¡± Colt waved at Hughe¡¯s crumpled form.


    ¡°Fighter, level 6, damaged,¡± the system announced as Lacey tapped Hughe.


    Hughe looked like he had a black eye with his normal ego tucked between his legs.


    ¡°What could have happened?¡± Colt stood behind Lacey, running his hands through his hair.


    ¡°We can only speculate,¡± Lacey remained calm. She had to. They had a deal. When Lacey was crazy, Colt calmed her down. When Colt lost his shit, Lacey was supposed to be the reasonable one. Lacey didn¡¯t feel calm, but she could look it for Colt. ¡°And speculating doesn¡¯t help.¡±


    Lacey slid the screen to where the elite goblin squad were lackadaisically guarding the 13<sup>th</sup> level. They wouldn¡¯t get the alarm that the upper levels were being decimated until the small scout saw someone enter the 12<sup>th</sup> level. Would the scout be fast enough to warn them? Would it help? The elite squad was still only on par with Hughe¡¯s group and Hughe was helpless against these higher levels.


    ¡°Nothing helps,¡± Colt curled up his fists as the team tore through another whole level.


    Ideas of what they could have done differently were racing through both their minds as they watched two more levels get slaughtered without a scratch on any of these higher-level adventurers. They were ideas that might not help now, but they would help in the future. They¡¯d gotten complacent with a routine. This was what happened when a person got complacent.


    ¡°What¡¯s the purpose?¡± Lacey questioned out loud, trying to work it out. ¡°They can¡¯t be getting any experience. Why delve into a dungeon that can¡¯t help you at all?¡±


    ¡°Just power-soaked, ego-driven sadists?¡± Colt ranted, and Lacey discarded the idea immediately.


    ¡°Speculation,¡± Lacey lectured herself for it as much as Colt.


    There were over a hundred goblins out there behind that measly elite squad. They would be just as easily mowed down as the beetles were. The beetles weren¡¯t a great loss, but the goblins would be. Lacey¡¯s nerves got the better of her and she worried at the skin around her nails. Another level fell as Colt began to pace.


    Lacey began to think further along those lines. Mow down the baby dungeon, dragging Hughe with them. Were they intent on a dungeon wipe? Could the dungeon change ownership? Would that be worse or better than having Hughe own them? At least they¡¯d had the chance to set up a dungeon that showed well. The cleric was getting the puzzles. The thief was having to pick a ton of locks, and the fighter was seeing that the dungeon had teeth and challenges. While Lacey didn¡¯t like the thought of anyone owning their dungeon, maybe high leveled adventurers would bring in more treasure and more than just Hughe¡¯s party.A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    Lacey banged her hand on the pedestal. If the stupid thing was unlocked, they might know what would happen when those people made it all the way down to their control center. Lacey had set up a surprise for level 13, but would it turn away adventurers this high?


    The adventurers hit level 12 and Lacey found herself holding her breath. Colt had stopped pacing to stand and watch over her shoulder. The scout goblin had been doing his job. He¡¯d been watching through a small hole in the wall of the following room as the adventurers lowered into a room full of 10 level 8 beetles and began to mow through them like paper. The goblin scout had scurried almost immediately for the elite goblin team.


    The adventurers were through the third of five rooms on the 12<sup>th</sup> floor when the elite team retreated as they should to the 13<sup>th</sup> floor. Everyone on the elite goblin team scurried right past the 13<sup>th</sup> floor to the floor beneath and as fast as they could to the lower levels. Everyone but Adam. Adam stood at the fuse and waited.


    There was crashing and much destruction as the fighter ran out of monsters to destroy and began to tear apart empty rooms. Mostly empty rooms. The cleric was no longer looking for puzzles. The thief was disarming most of the pit traps Lacey had installed in the rooms. The thief missed a spiked log but dodged the damage from it. Hughe didn¡¯t warn them about the double pit trap until they threw him over one of the pits, and Lacey tried to think better of him for it.


    Lacey felt proud of her traps, almost all of which she¡¯d peppered all along the 13<sup>th</sup> floor. The thief was jumping, the cleric looked like he was swearing, and the fighter was finally scowling. The cleric put out the flaming log, but at least it singed his perfect robes. Unfortunately, that was the only damage the traps of the 13<sup>th</sup> floor did before Adam boldly met the gaze of the fighter charging in the second to last room on the 13<sup>th</sup> floor.


    The fighter took a stance and gave a wild grin. The thief rolled his eyes. The cleric was still brushing at his robes like a simple mend spell wouldn¡¯t repair the damage. Adam pulled the plug, his beady little red eyes gleaming with fanatical satisfaction. Liquid rushed into the 13<sup>th</sup> floor in a wave that was bigger than Lacey had figured it would be.


    ¡°Is that water?¡± Colt watched curiously, as he hadn¡¯t been aware of Lacey¡¯s final failsafe mechanism.


    ¡°No,¡± Lacey answered.


    The fighter laughed as he chopped the head off of Adam and the liquid lapped up to their calves. Colt winced, even though they both knew they¡¯d have Adam back soon enough.


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°Moonshine,¡± Lacey answered as the wave finally reached the last room. None of these rooms had had the automatically closing doors, nor had the doors even been locked.


    The moonshine lapped up to a single torch that lay on the floor of the first room on the 13<sup>th</sup> floor. The liquid wasn¡¯t much more than the fuse and the vehicle. Adam had pulled another plug out long before he¡¯d let the liquid out. The reason stills explode isn¡¯t the actual liquor being produced, but rather because of the ethanol gas that leaks out of the mechanism and then is lit by the heating mechanism. As the liquid filled the pits, the gas took up more and more of the level, a level Lacey had sealed with a mix of bat guano and tree sap that was surprisingly waterproof.


    Still, it was more of an explosion than Lacey expected. The fire not only burned up the adventurers, who were still alive after the initial fiery explosion somehow, but the heat had expanded the walls and ceiling of the level. That expansion caused the supports for the level, which were already weakened by the fire, to fall. The cave-in rocked the dungeon twice as hard as the initial explosion.


    ¡°Incursion wipe summary,¡± the voice of the pedestal announced, the red lights changing to blue. ¡°4 adventurers slain, 2 levels destroyed, 11 levels damaged, 42 traps destroyed, 128 beetles destroyed, 2 goblin fatalities, 59 rooms looted (loot returned), dungeon reset in progress.¡±


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    Chapter Bonus: Did He Just Call Himself the Hero? (Skippable)


    ¡°You can¡¯t quit,¡± Karma yelled at the real-world version of Hughe. They stood at the end of the driveway, and he was mad enough to walk all the way back to civilization, not that Cliff would let him. If the guy wanted to leave, Cliff was happy to give him a ride to the bus station and buy him a ticket to anywhere in the states. Karma knew that just from his stance and crossed arms. That and the fact that he held the truck¡¯s keyring over one finger, his middle finger to be exact.


    ¡°They tossed me around like a sack of potatoes!¡± Hughe was ranting, his voice a little higher than most men liked to display in public, especially in rural Kansas. ¡°How¡¯s that playing in your little story to have your hero tossed around by a pack of bullies? Is this your idea of a good plot because if so, you peaked at Nemesis Quest!¡±


    She considered letting him walk after that remark. If he¡¯d been actively walking away instead of standing there waiting to be convinced, she¡¯d have replaced him with an NPC. Her mind was dreamily thinking about how to convince the machine to let her disguise herself as Hughe, but Cliff saved them both from that useless argument. There were always options.


    ¡°What made you think you were the hero?¡± Cliff asked, his voice calm and careless.


    ¡°I,¡± Hughe stuttered on his favorite word, ¡°I. How am I not the hero?¡±


    There were so many lovely options that didn¡¯t include Hughe. Karma was pretty sure she didn¡¯t want to convince this whiny snot to go back in the game. If he walked, the engine would have to be reasonable about a replacement or shut down the story altogether. Would it shut down the story? Ugh, she thought, it probably would, considering that it wanted badly for this concept to fail.


    ¡°You¡¯re more of a villain of the dungeon,¡± Karma shrugged into Cliff¡¯s storyline like a pro, not that she liked doing it. ¡°It¡¯s a dungeon builder story, not a player gets stuck in the game story.¡±


    ¡°It might have been a player one, but they¡¯re awfully flooded right now,¡± Cliff nodded at her as if they were talking about the weather.


    ¡°A villain?¡± Hughe stroked his chin like he had a goatee. ¡°I could get into that role.¡±


    ¡°Sure,¡± Cliff kept nodding at the guy. ¡°Her hubby, Dom, is the villain more often than not. Not bad at it.¡±


    ¡°Pretty bad at it, if you look at it right,¡± Karma bantered like Hughe wasn¡¯t even there.


    ¡°True,¡± Cliff was the bobble-headed, barrel-chested voice of reason. ¡°Sorry you didn¡¯t know, but we don¡¯t always know how it¡¯ll play out at first.¡±


    ¡°Then again, it could reverse again,¡± Karma shrugged, tucking her hands into her jeans pockets. ¡°Most heroes do start off weak so that they have their own bullies to defeat later on. I mean you can¡¯t have a hero journey without conflict, but what would I know?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, since you peaked in Nemesis Quest,¡± Cliff stopped nodding to give Hughe a stern look.


    ¡°Yeah, sorry about that,¡± Hughe gave Karma an abashed look that probably only worked for his mom. He was so busy looking at his shuffling feet that he didn¡¯t notice Karma roll her eyes. ¡°I guess this writing stuff is harder than it looks.¡±


    Cliff clipped her in the ribs before she could quip back, ¡°You think?¡±


    ¡°Why don¡¯t I take you into town where we can grab a couple of beers at the roadhouse before you head back in,¡± Cliff took Hughe by the shoulder and steered him toward the truck.


    ¡°Why did we talk him into going back in again?¡± Karma was asking herself, shaking her head as she headed back up the drive to the house.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>

 Chapter 25 – Goblins Dig

    Ginger crawled out from under the bed, and Lacey blinked at her.


    ¡°I hid her there in case they got all the way down here,¡± Colt admitted. ¡°I was just thinking that even if they killed us, we could still have a chance of them not wiping the dungeon completely.¡±


    Lacey nodded, but she was processing a few things in that statement even as he said it. First, the thought of dying hadn¡¯t really been in her plans. Sure, Hughe had died and come back, but did that really mean that they would? And didn¡¯t that mean that those high leveled guys would be back too? And even if they did come back? What would happen to their dungeon? Could that kind of stunt really work? Lacey shook the thoughts out of her head.


    They had higher levels coming into the dungeon and they weren¡¯t as predictable as Hughe and his gang. Lacey watched their balance go down to double digits as she reset rooms, and the fact was that they couldn¡¯t reset them all via the pedestal. Lacey raked her hands through her hair, encountering tangles that just annoyed her further. Just when she¡¯d thought she was getting the hang of it. Just when they¡¯d thought they were ahead of the curve.


    Lacey had to choose between resurrecting Adam and the scout or one of the rooms. The scout had stayed behind to open the door for Adam if he escaped, but the level had collapsed onto him. Of course, Lacey chose the goblins, Adam and the scout materializing in front of her as she watched their balance zero out. Zero turned out to be a single line up and down. She¡¯d gone over their balance by a few credits, but the system had allowed the purchase.


    ¡°Good to see you, Adam old buddy,¡± Colt walked up to the goblin and shook its hand.


    ¡°Greetings Masters,¡± Adam beamed his massive grin of pointed teeth at them, none the worse for wear.


    ¡°We are now officially broke,¡± Lacey lamented, giving a lame smile to the two goblins, who were now being patted on by Ginger.


    ¡°Adam will always be worth going broke,¡± Colt assured Lacey, his smile like he hadn¡¯t a care.


    ¡°True,¡± Lacey admitted, not as sure of anything. ¡°But that still explosion was a one-shot deal. We didn¡¯t have the budget to rebuild those rooms.¡±


    ¡°We rebuild,¡± Adam stuck a thumb on his puffed-out chest. With only a grunt and point, the scout was rushing from the room, grinning just as wide as Adam.


    ¡°You can rebuild that trap?¡± Colt asked, more sure than Lacey but less sure than Adam.


    ¡°Adam level up to 1 and 0,¡± Adam thumped his chest again, then snapped his fingers. ¡°Easy.¡± By 1 and 0, Adam meant that he¡¯d leveled up to level 10. It was impressive, but it wouldn¡¯t be enough to fight against the level 24-26 group they¡¯d just faced.


    ¡°That was a level 29 trap, Adam,¡± Lacey shook her head at him. They had been lucky that trap was able to knock them out. The way Lacey had rigged it, it was actually three level 29 traps layered on top of each other to all go off at the same time.


    ¡°We dig, you trap,¡± Adam shrugged, undeterred.


    ¡°How am I going to make that much moonshine again?¡± Lacey laid her head on the pedestal and smacked it lightly. ¡°I bought it last time. We just don¡¯t have the funds.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s only been a week or so, right?¡± Colt patted Lacey on the back. ¡°And if Adam leveled up, surely we did too, right?¡±


    ¡°Dungeon, level 12,¡± the system replied to Colt¡¯s tapping.


    ¡°We might have passed Hughe and his gang, but we¡¯re still only half the level of those guys who just tore through the best we have,¡± Lacey pushed away from the pedestal and began to pace. ¡°We blew through a billion years of coal production in a week and even if we had made enough to completely rebuild, they now know our tricks. And we can¡¯t build anything that could even challenge them anyway even if we did have the credits to do it.¡±


    ¡°Okay, that sounds bad now, but we¡¯ll drill down and do our best and that¡¯s the best we can do,¡± Colt replied, a frown forming as he too scrolled through screens that Lacey knew by heart.


    Lacey hated this part of Colt. Optimism was a good thing most of the time, but blind optimism didn¡¯t solve anything. Lacey flopped back on the lower bunk and put Colt¡¯s pillow over her head to muffle her frustrated scream. Why bother to move forward when they were just going to tear it up again in a day, if they gave them that long?Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    ¡°Don¡¯t panic,¡± Colt was fussing at the pedestal.


    ¡°Goblins rebuild,¡± Ginger petted Lacey¡¯s arm tentatively.


    ¡°Thanks Ginger,¡± Lacey patted Ginger back, but her lips were pressed together so her smile was tight. ¡°How long do you think it¡¯ll take for them to dig out that section?¡± she posited to Colt.


    ¡°3 hours?¡± Ginger held up three green fingers with her smile.


    Lacey turned away to roll her eyes, not wanting her frustration to hurt the goblin¡¯s feelings. Goblins couldn¡¯t count higher than 3, so Lacey was pretty sure that Ginger didn¡¯t know how long. Then again, if it was going to take more than a day, Ginger would have couched her answer in days instead. If they could dig that out before morning, maybe Lacey could reset the trap, but not without the massive amount of moonshine she¡¯d used before. Even with magic, the moonshine would take days to make and that was if they had all the ingredients already. Even using the pedestal, they didn¡¯t have the credits to buy what they needed.


    ¡°What else could we sell?¡± Colt looked around the room like Lacey had been hiding their salvation under the floorboards.


    ¡°We get almost nothing from the coins we have left,¡± Lacey flopped back on the bed. ¡°I already reused the chests we got. You could sell the jeweler¡¯s kit if you want, but it¡¯s more useful than its worth. What else could we sell? Our chairs?¡±


    A goblin worker was already returning with a bucket of coal and rocks that it dumped into the pedestal. He was quickly followed by another one.


    ¡°We could dig and sell traps,¡± Colt suggested.


    ¡°Except our workers are already digging the rooms back out on levels 12 and 13,¡± Lacey replied, but she sat up and looked around. ¡°How much can we sell the book for?¡±


    ¡°Not the book,¡± Colt shook his head. ¡°What about the sketches?¡±


    ¡°My doodles?¡± Lacey raised her brows at him. ¡°You can try, but they¡¯re probably not worth more than the coal.¡±


    Colt took a sketch off the wall of a tiger with the head of a chicken. It was something that Lacey had drawn to make Colt laugh. When Ginger had asked what made eggs like the ones they ate, Lacey had responded with the drawing. She¡¯d since drawn a real chicken, and a real tiger and Colt had explained the way Lacey had combined them and that it was a joke.


    ¡°My tigeckin?¡± Lacey pretended to protest. ¡°Whatever will lay our eggs?¡±


    ¡°You scared poor Ginger with that drawing,¡± Colt chuckled. Ginger gave a little clucking noise with a roll of her eyes. ¡°She¡¯d only ever seen beetle eggs so she thought it would attack her.¡±


    ¡°The chicken would have attacked her,¡± Lacey teased him, and Ginger frowned. ¡°Chickens are vicious.¡±


    ¡°Only you could be terrorized by a chicken at a petting zoo,¡± Colt shook his head.


    ¡°Vicious,¡± Lacey muttered, but Ginger was onto her teasing and shook her head and finger at Lacey, who finally had to smile.


    Colt dropped the drawing into the pedestal.


    ¡°New creature detected,¡± the system answered. ¡°120 credits for a creature not previously conceived by this world engine. Would you like to summon your complimentary copy of this creature now or wait for later?¡±


    ¡°No way!¡± Lacey hit her head on the top bunk lunging to her feet, but she didn¡¯t stop until she could stare at a screen that told her less than the voice just had. She quickly hit what she thought was the button to summon her creature and then cringed as she realized what she¡¯d done.


    ¡°Jackpot!¡± Colt was saying as he rushed around the room to tear pages off the wall.


    The creature that materialized was a perfect replica of a baby version of a tiger with the head of a chicken. Since the drawing had been in greyscale, the tigeckin ended up being black and white striped fur with grayish feathers on the head. The system named it a Chicker and while it was level 12, it was only a baby version of it. The little paws and tail were adorable, but the tiny black beak was more annoying than cute, at least to Lacey. It gave a little cheep and rubbed its head against Ginger¡¯s leg. Ginger froze for a moment, but when it didn¡¯t try to eat her, she picked up the little creature and pet it on the head.


    ¡°Chicken detected,¡± the system answered at the new drawing that Colt dropped in. ¡°This is a common creature. It will be added to your choices of creatures.¡±


    ¡°So, no money for the repeats,¡± Lacey mused, watching the system eat her drawing of a harpy that Colt was dropping in. A harpy was typically a very dirty birdlike creature born of the hatred of a woman scorned. Lacey had made this one more phoenix-like than ugly. She figured that if a woman had been scorned, she likely deserved a little respect with her retribution.


    ¡°New creature detected,¡± the system answered. ¡°120 credits for a creature not previously conceived by this world engine. Would you like to summon your complimentary copy of this creature now or wait for later?¡±


    ¡°We could wait on that one,¡± Colt said, shuffling through more papers.


    ¡°What makes you think we can find it later?¡± Lacey wasn¡¯t quite over being pessimistic, even with hope in Colt¡¯s hands.


    ¡°Lacey, no offense,¡± Colt pushed her toward the table where she¡¯d left her book and pencils, ¡°but you need to be drawing. The goblins dig. Lacey draws, and we can be rebuilt in no time.¡±


    ¡°Do you think drawing objects would help?¡± Lacey sat and drew. Her finger flew over what she could remember of what a real still looked like.


    ¡°New creature detected,¡± the system repeated, and Lacey itched to be over at the screen to see what was new and what wasn¡¯t. She wanted to know what they now had access to, but it took time to get the shading and dimensions right. ¡°120 credits for a creature not previously conceived by this world engine. Would you like to summon your complimentary copy of this creature now or wait for later?¡±


    ¡°Any idea how detailed it needs to be?¡± Lacey worried, but Colt was too engrossed in making more of her drawings come to life. The problem was that he wasn¡¯t making any of them now.


    ¡°Mule detected,¡± the system answered at the new drawing. ¡°This is a common creature. It will be added to your choices of creatures.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure,¡± Colt answered her, having to pause long enough to let a small line of goblins put some coal into the pedestal. Colt was practically humming with his signature optimism, but Lacey wasn¡¯t so sure. ¡°And they¡¯re listed right in the same screen as the goblins were summoned from.¡±

 Chapter 26 – If You Let a Goblin Work

    The goblins dug out the whole of the 12<sup>th</sup> and 13<sup>th</sup> floors before Lacey had thought they could. Ginger had been close on her 3-hour estimate, making Lacey think maybe Ginger was smarter than she let on. Were all the goblins always this smart or were they getting smarter as they and the dungeon leveled up? Lacey itched to be able to see their stats, if only she knew how.


    Now that Lacey wasn¡¯t using their credits to reset rooms, Lacey found out that the goblins could and did reset rooms by fixing things the adventurers broke on their way through. They still had a bank of beetles that they¡¯d been breeding and training in the nursery area, so the beetles were easier to refresh than Lacey had thought possible. The goblins were good at resetting the rooms and then went about building more traps to both sell and use in the higher levels.


    If they were given another day, the dungeon would probably get back to levels that Hughe¡¯s party could defeat again, but they were nowhere near being able to repel a new set of the newer challenge. Lacey bit her lip as she scribbled a version of a centaur that had octopus arms dangling out of its mouth. She¡¯d always had an imagination for fanciful creatures, but it did end up taking a good hour to sketch something sophisticated enough for the system to accept it. If the drawing wasn¡¯t carefully shaded, they got a base 10 credits for a ¡°child¡¯s drawing.¡±


    By the time the goblins broke for dinner, Lacey¡¯s hand was cramping around her pencil. The goblins brought her a plate of food that wasn¡¯t goblin stew. It wasn¡¯t pizza, but it was palatable, and they hadn¡¯t had to use the pedestal to order food. Once again, Lacey realized that she hadn¡¯t given the goblins enough credit for adaptability.


    ¡°Must be near dark,¡± Colt scanned through the rooms as he ate some kind of meat on a stick. Lacey didn¡¯t want to think what kind of meat it was. Then again, they had a cow now. The goblins had taken it away, so Lacey wondered if they still had a cow or if it was what they were eating. It had been a cow¡¯s body with a deer¡¯s head with antlers Lacey was hoping could prove to be a good material for pit traps and throwing daggers.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey ate with her left hand instead of her right, just because her right hand still hurt from all her drawing. ¡°The goblins are quitting for the night then?¡±


    ¡°It looks like it,¡± Colt nodded to where Ginger was curling up on a pile of furs she¡¯d installed in the corner earlier that day. Lacey didn¡¯t mind since it meant that she and Colt always had access to some sense of time.


    ¡°They did a lot,¡± Colt finally left the pedestal for the first time that day, letting himself sit to eat.


    ¡°It won¡¯t be enough if the big boys come back,¡± Lacey picked at the mashed vegetable that was not potatoes but was pretty good as long as she didn¡¯t ask what it was. It didn¡¯t grow and it didn¡¯t cost precious credits, so it was good.


    ¡°No, it won¡¯t,¡± Colt admitted. ¡°The new still you drew is working. Putting the lion¡¯s mane on the fittings was a nice touch.¡±


    ¡°It was the only way I could think of that would make it different from a still that the system already knew,¡± Lacey put her plate down and tried to blink the tired out of her eyes. ¡°You¡¯d better hit the hay soon. I¡¯m going to need sleep sooner than usual so I can have a nap before someone shows up.¡±


    ¡°A nap¡¯s worth will be enough for me,¡± Colt shoved more meat in his mouth, but made no move to bed yet. They didn¡¯t even consider sleeping at the same time with the new threat upon them.


    ¡°We figured out a lot today,¡± Colt tried to put his optimism back on, staring at his meat kabob like even he was having trouble eating.


    ¡°You think they¡¯ll be back in the morning?¡± Lacey asked what neither of them had wanted to talk about.


    ¡°Eve is using up her mana as fast as she gains it to get all the firewater charged up,¡± Colt dodged the question. Firewater was what they were calling the moonshine that needed magic to be charged up. Eve didn¡¯t mind charging firewater, but she was a bit of a prude about drinking alcoholic beverages. ¡°She might have enough for half the charge we had for today, if she works all night.¡±


    ¡°Goblins don¡¯t work all night,¡± Lacey murmured softly, not wanting to offend Ginger, who looked to just be falling asleep, an emptied meat stick limp in her green hand.


    ¡°They don¡¯t,¡± Colt admitted.


    ¡°Now would be a really great time for that password reset to happen,¡± Lacey hinted to the world gods, whatever they were.


    ¡°I checked our dmail and it¡¯s still locked out,¡± Colt sighed. ¡°I¡¯d try calling tech support if we were back home.¡± That was saying a lot since most of the time Colt would give up on a program before he¡¯d call to talk to anyone on the phone. Give him Discord or TikTok and he was there in a second, but phone calls were too personal for him.


    ¡°How can we sleep knowing they could show up at any second?¡± Lacey complained, laying her head on the table, torn between the grit in her eyes and the pending emergency.If you encounter this tale on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    ¡°It¡¯s like studying for finals,¡± Colt reasoned, and while he hadn¡¯t gone to college himself, he¡¯d been there when she¡¯d sweated her way through it. ¡°Weigh the need for a clear head against what you¡¯ll gain from cramming.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ve done what we can before morning,¡± Lacey admitted.


    ¡°You take the first nap,¡± Colt offered, picking at the smoky meat on the stick. ¡°I¡¯ll keep watch until I get too tired.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m just as wired as you are,¡± Lacey stuffed another mouthful of stew at her face like it could help. The lump was settling in her stomach in an almost comfortable way. ¡°How much did we make on the traps and drawings? Enough to buy some of the moonshine?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think it would buy enough to make a difference,¡± Colt offered her a piece off of his stick. ¡°Do you think Ginger would wake us up if we both went to sleep?¡±


    ¡°They didn¡¯t last time,¡± Lacey shook her head.


    ¡°Last time we didn¡¯t ask,¡± Colt reasoned. ¡°Hey Ginger,¡± he called to her.


    ¡°Yes?¡± Ginger poked bleary eyes up out of her fur covers.


    ¡°If we went to sleep, would you wake us up when you get up in the morning?¡± Colt asked.


    ¡°Or if the dungeon turned red?¡± Lacey added.


    ¡°Already do that,¡± Ginger frowned.


    Ginger did help wake up Colt, but it was just so hard to trust someone that wasn¡¯t one of them. Lacey pushed her wooden spoon around the mashed vegetable.


    ¡°Eve didn¡¯t though, and it was a pretty big disaster,¡± Lacey tried to reason with the drowsy goblin.


    ¡°Eve not asked to wake up,¡± Ginger blinked her little red eyes at Lacey. ¡°Goblins learn too.¡±


    ¡°They do?¡± Colt asked.


    ¡°Eve learn firewater spell,¡± Ginger nodded, ¡°and Ginger learn wake up Colt but not Lacey.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s too important to test it this time, Colt,¡± Lacey protested.


    ¡°Ginger wake for breakfast or if dungeon turn red,¡± Ginger repeated her instructions.


    ¡°Thanks Ginger,¡± Colt told the goblin, and with a nod, she burrowed under her covers to get some sleep.


    Lacey and Colt ate in silence for a few moments before Lacey broke it with a whisper, ¡°How would she know if the dungeon turns red if she¡¯s buried under the covers like that?¡±


    ¡°I know you¡¯re right, but,¡± Colt shrugged, ¡°I mean I do agree, it¡¯s just that we should test it soon.¡±


    ¡°Okay, but not until the danger has passed,¡± Lacey insisted, but she wasn¡¯t as sure anymore either. Colt normally had really good instincts and just because he couldn¡¯t articulate the reasons for those instincts didn¡¯t mean she could just roll over the top of them. She trusted those instincts and it had served them well. ¡°Tomorrow,¡± she amended.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt nodded. ¡°I just have this feeling we¡¯re missing something in how we use the goblins.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re missing a lot thanks to that stupid locked pedestal,¡± Lacey patted him on the arm as surely as she could without wincing. ¡°Like being able to draw stuff and input it as monsters! How many days have we had the power to do that and not the knowledge that we could? And how much time did we waste carting beetles up those stairs before you figured out that we could move rooms around? My biggest frustration is that we could have done so much more if we¡¯d known what we could do from the beginning!¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ve sure underestimated what the goblins could do,¡± Colt agreed, his tone still low enough to let Ginger sleep through it. ¡°Every time we give them something new, they figure out a whole new set of skills.¡±


    ¡°You think we should give them more to do,¡± Lacey murmured. ¡°I agree with you. I really do. I know I¡¯ve done too much and let them do so little. And it¡¯s going to change. I promise. And as soon as this crisis is over, we¡¯ll be testing them for all sorts of things.¡±


    ¡°If the crisis ends,¡± Colt mused, unamused.


    ¡°The penalty for being wrong on this one is a little too high,¡± Lacey stood her ground. ¡°If we¡¯re wrong about her being able to wake us up, then we will wake to a wipe and this time, there¡¯s no way that this group is going to give us a warning and let us work back up like Hughe did.¡±


    ¡°I know you¡¯re right, but,¡± Colt rocked his head from side to side.


    ¡°And if you¡¯re right, we get a few more hours of sleep apiece,¡± Lacey reasoned logically. ¡°It just isn¡¯t enough benefit to risk it.¡±


    ¡°I agree,¡± Colt¡¯s brows raised, and he blew out a breath. ¡°I do! But I think we¡¯re missing something, like we did with the book and the voice commands and even the click and drag.¡±


    ¡°Like what?¡± Lacey pushed her plate away, wanting to give in and get some sleep now that her stomach was full.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Colt gave a frustrated huff. ¡°It¡¯s just a gut feeling.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m too tired for this,¡± Lacey ran her fingers through her hair and promised herself that she would design a comb and brush as soon as the crisis was over. ¡°I trust your gut, but even you can¡¯t justify the risk on this one.¡±


    ¡°I know you¡¯re right,¡± Colt admitted. ¡°You get some sleep first. I have to think. There has to be a safe way to test this.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± Lacey let it go, knowing he wouldn¡¯t sleep until it let go of him. The worst part was the not knowing. Lacey just couldn¡¯t justify the mistakes she¡¯d been making. They had so little to work with that it was insane to have lost so much on the mistakes. Other people got to make mistakes all the time, like Hughe and his copious blunders, but for Lacey, it always felt like every mistake cost her more than other people.


    She fell asleep thinking of the many mistakes and what they¡¯d cost her. She¡¯d fallen for the wrong guy, and gone to his room alone because she¡¯d wanted to take chances like others did. That mistake had nearly gotten her expelled. She¡¯d reported it a day too late, another mistake. They¡¯d brought her up on a Code of Conduct violation because slimeball had reported Colt punching him in the face. Campus police had insisted that she was making it up to protect her friend. Colt hadn¡¯t helped the situation by getting mad on her behalf, but it had helped her state of mind. School after that had been one mistake after another that had culminated in a withdrawal that her parents hadn¡¯t understood at all. All financial support was withdrawn.


    She¡¯d been lucky that Colt had already had an apartment and a job at a fast-food place. He¡¯d let her hole up there for nothing for almost six months. Six months in the dark when Colt had been completely patient. Six months that had passed in a blur before Lacey had realized it was gone. In the end, it hadn¡¯t been so much that only Colt had believed her side of it, but more that her mistake could have cost Colt. If slimeball had pressed charges outside the university¡­


    Lacey fought off the bad dreams just as fiercely as she fought to wake up. It wasn¡¯t that she didn¡¯t know they were bad dreams. She knew she was dreaming and that no one was taking Colt away to jail, but it didn¡¯t stop her heart from pounding, her body from sweating, or her brain from expressing the things she wanted to avoid.

 Chapter 27 – One Helluna of a Story

    ¡°Lacey,¡± Colt¡¯s voice calmed her now that it had dropped into a teasing tone instead of an alarmed one.


    ¡°I¡¯m up,¡± Lacey rolled over to pry an eye open. ¡°Are they here?¡±


    ¡°The room¡¯s only red because the druid showed up,¡± Colt shoved her boots at her. She had slept in her clothes.


    ¡°No big wigs?¡± Lacey mumbled, letting Colt help her down from the top bunk.


    ¡°Just the druid waving a white flag,¡± Colt was smiling, and Lacey rolled her eyes.


    ¡°You only want to rush out there because you might get to know her name,¡± Lacey smacked his shoulder playfully and it reminded her that her hand still ached a bit from all the drawing she¡¯d done the day before.


    ¡°Shh,¡± Colt admonished her. ¡°You¡¯ll wake up Ginger. I¡¯m heading up there, but I didn¡¯t want to do that until you were awake.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m coming,¡± Lacey blinked her eyes awake. ¡°Did you get any sleep?¡±


    ¡°Not yet,¡± Colt strapped on a sword that looked like it had come off the high levels. Colt walked backward out of the room, noticing her befuddled look. ¡°I found the supply of loot the goblins found from the big wigs. There¡¯s a dagger that came off the thief on the table for you, but put it on as you come, if you¡¯re coming.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m coming,¡± Lacey muttered, grabbing the dagger and sheath from the table.


    Lacey stumbled after Colt, nearly tripping over a few goblins as she tried to fumble with the cross-chest sheath for the dagger. They had to go up all the flights of stairs, but they noticed that the goblins on the secret trap doors were awake enough to open them as they went by.


    ¡°If they can set goblins to stay awake to man the trap doors, we can use them as scout-type guards,¡± Colt was saying, but Lacey¡¯s mind was still waking up.


    ¡°How much sleep did I get?¡± Lacey asked.


    ¡°Maybe two hours or so,¡± Colt answered, but his answer reminded her that there wasn¡¯t really a way for them to tell for sure.


    ¡°And you?¡± she asked without thinking.


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t try it with you against it,¡± Colt admonished her. ¡°But you can see we could use the goblins better. They could stay up all night if needed. We just need to teach them shift rotation.¡±


    ¡°Agreed,¡± Lacey stubbed her toe on another uneven stair, but she kept up, barely.


    ¡°I¡¯ve also been working on a backup water-clock alarm,¡± Colt told her, holding open the level 12 trap door and guiding her around the traps as fast as they dared to go. ¡°It doesn¡¯t work right yet, but I¡¯m thinking I could have enough water drip into a precariously perched pan until it clatters into a bunch of others. I don¡¯t think it would wake me up, but it would wake you up for sure.¡±


    ¡°It might wake you up if you dumped the water on your head,¡± Lacey suggested, finding her humor a little edgy after her bad dreams.


    She skipped over the trip wire. It might have been a decoy trip wire, but she didn¡¯t want to have to reset it. They needed every advantage they could get. The trap parts nearly glowed to Lacey, but she knew they were almost invisible to anyone else, especially since their traps had leveled up with the dungeon.


    Lacey was huffing when they got to the top, but she was glad of it when she got there. Sure, she could have stayed behind and just moved a room with Colt in it to the top, but she¡¯d have missed the details. The druid was cute, standing there with a stick and a piece of white cloth waving into the entrance of the dungeon. The girl hadn¡¯t even come inside, just sat outside poking the stick through the opening.


    ¡°Hi,¡± Colt said, idiotically, jolting the druid to her feet.


    ¡°Oh, uh, I mean no harm,¡± the druid was waving her hands in front of her. ¡°I came to warn you, not cause trouble. I promise.¡±


    She looked scared. She had blond hair with auburn highlights that one could only get at the salon and Lacey wanted to hate her immediately. Her waist was trim, just like Colt liked them. Her eyes were hard to make out in the dark, but they glittered in the light of the torch in her hand.


    ¡°Come in,¡± Colt invited the girl. ¡°We won¡¯t bite.¡±


    ¡°Much,¡± Lacey muttered under her breath and Colt nudged her with a look.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to challenge the dungeon,¡± the druid waved her torch in front of her, backing up a bit. ¡°I just didn¡¯t think it was fair. I came as soon as I respawned, but when Hughe ended up in the respawn queue again, I figured we should warn you.¡±


    ¡°We?¡± Lacey asked, trying to see past the torch that blocked her night vision.


    ¡°The others didn¡¯t come,¡± the druid sighed out in disgust. ¡°They¡¯re chicken-shits.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m Colt,¡± Colt stuck out his hand with a 100-watt smile that would have worked at any bar anywhere if that was something that Colt and Lacey did, ever. It worked at conventions, when they could afford to go to them and they were local, which happened often enough in Vegas for Lacey to know how well that smile worked for Colt. ¡°This is Lacey. It¡¯s okay. The first room doesn¡¯t have any traps or monsters in it. You can come in out of the cold.¡±


    ¡°And quit lighting up a beacon to our door,¡± Lacey muttered, because it wasn¡¯t all that cold outside.


    ¡°You aren¡¯t at all like Hughe said,¡± the druid turned her head to the side and looked at Colt for a moment, considering.


    ¡°Hughe is an idiot,¡± Lacey rolled her eyes.


    ¡°Well, maybe you are a little like he said you were,¡± the druid teased, and Lacey thought it was just a little too soon for that but couldn¡¯t help liking her more. It wasn¡¯t that Lacey disliked the girl, but she was the enemy. Wasn¡¯t she? ¡°I¡¯m Helluna. And Hughe is an idiot, so I¡¯m not offended at all. Hopefully you think better of me than that when we¡¯re done.¡±


    Colt held out a gentlemanly hand to help Helluna across the threshold between the dungeon and the outside. It wasn¡¯t like she had to climb in or anything. But Colt was a good gentleman, thanks to his mom being awesome.


    ¡°Are you from, um, our world too?¡± Colt asked, reluctantly letting go of her hand as she came in and looked around for a place to put her torch.


    ¡°Which world would that be?¡± Helluna asked edgily, her mouth twisted.


    ¡°Earth?¡± Colt said, and it sounded as weird as it should sound.


    ¡°Oh,¡± Helluna looked surprised. ¡°Yeah! I¡¯m a housewife from Fresno. You?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re both from Vegas,¡± Colt spread his arms like they were all from the same little town in the middle of nowhere. ¡°Not far from California.¡±


    ¡°Only an 8-hour drive to Fresno,¡± Lacey gave Colt another annoyed look as he took the torch from Helluna and propped it into a shielded area that would give them light without shining so brightly out of the opening of the cave.


    ¡°Housewife?¡± Colt asked. ¡°You look like a kid yourself.¡±This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.


    ¡°I had my kids young, and they live with their dad now because he has the big house,¡± Helluna rolled her eyes. ¡°I¡¯m just a waitress at an IHOP in the real world. Oh, but you mean here, right?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt chuckled, his interest waning a tiny bit at her potential real age. He normally only dated within a few years of his 24 years of age. ¡°But you look young now.¡±


    ¡°Uh, yeah,¡± Helluna chuckled and ran a hand down her form. ¡°All the players come in at the amazingly fresh age of 16. I can¡¯t say I¡¯m complaining. I didn¡¯t get to spend a lot of time as a normal 16-year-old with getting pregnant when I was in high school. I almost don¡¯t feel 30 anymore.¡±


    Lacey looked at herself, not that she had a mirror to really give it a good look. She turned to Colt and he looked a little younger, but he always had a baby face anyway with his sandy blonde hair and hazel eyes that could look blue or green depending on the light. ¡°I don¡¯t think we got that perk,¡± Lacey scrutinized Colt¡¯s face for signs.


    ¡°Perk or pain, it¡¯s a perspective thing,¡± Helluna waggled a hand. ¡°Maldory is incensed as he was in his 60s and had no interest in being ignored as a teenager again. He¡¯s our mage. Tenris and I like it though. It¡¯s a fun dress-up kind of thing.¡±


    ¡°Tenris is the fighter or the thief?¡± Colt asked casually, and Lacey relaxed a bit. Colt was using his charm to get information. That was okay. Flirting was just a sideline.


    ¡°He¡¯s the fighter,¡± Helluna told them. ¡°Sinjin is our rogue and I¡¯m not sure he¡¯s coming back this time. He might have had enough.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean by come back?¡± Lacey pressed.


    ¡°Oh, uh,¡± Helluna put a hand to her chest. ¡°Maybe it¡¯s different on your side of things, but if we die, we get the option to go home for a day or two. I go back to see my kids on weekends that I have them, but Sinjin is an engineer at some high-tech Japanese animation studio. I think he¡¯s got more to go back to than I do most days.¡±


    ¡°Wow, how long have you been here?¡± Colt asked, nudging Lacey behind him to deflect her intensity.


    ¡°I was in another simulation for a few levels, but got tapped for this beta maybe a week ago?¡± Helluna nodded. ¡°Didn¡¯t you learn this in your tutorial?¡±


    ¡°Tutorial,¡± Lacey spat out the word like she was swearing.


    ¡°Our tutorial is a little messed up at the moment,¡± Colt admitted, smiling to take the edge off of Lacey.


    ¡°Oh, but,¡± Helluna got a little worry frown between her brows. ¡°I wonder if I¡¯m not supposed to tell you or something. But you are players in a way, right?¡±


    ¡°We haven¡¯t died yet¡± Colt waved his hand at the dungeon. ¡°We have a bit more between us and death than normal player characters so maybe our tutorial is in there after we die.¡±


    ¡°Hughe lied then,¡± Helluna shook her head and crossed her arms. ¡°Big surprise there. He said he¡¯d killed the dungeon masters and therefore we couldn¡¯t even go in the dungeon without his approval. He also said we were lucky that he was the go-between because the dungeon masters were sadistic bastards just out to ruin us.¡±


    ¡°Ass,¡± Lacey muttered.


    ¡°True, but it was believable since the dungeon did seem really hard at first,¡± Helluna nodded to Lacey. ¡°I mean we are supposed to be enemies, I suppose, but we were probably too ready to believe everything he said. And that¡¯s why I¡¯m here!¡±


    ¡°Your warning is a bit late,¡± Lacey pursed her lips at the girl that she was having trouble seeing as a grown woman.


    ¡°What she means is that the high levels already came through and nearly destroyed us,¡± Colt shrugged.


    ¡°That¡¯s great, I suppose,¡± Helluna said, and Lacey tried to believe the great part was that they¡¯d survived, ¡°and I feel really bad about that, but I couldn¡¯t have warned you about that one. I was already dead.¡±


    ¡°Dead?¡± Colt gave a concerned tone. Lacey just wanted to get to the point, but Colt¡¯s way worked better most of the time.


    ¡°Okay, well, the warning I¡¯ve been trying to work up the courage to say is that those high leveled guys were all NPCs and they¡¯re from a big guild a few cities away from our little newbie zone,¡± Helluna told them like she was gossiping over the fence. ¡°You might have killed the scouting party, but their wipe probably means that another group is on their way, and they will take you seriously this time.¡±


    ¡°Any idea how long before the new group will be here?¡± Colt batted his pretty eyes at her like a dope.


    ¡°If they take as long as the last group, it¡¯ll be a week,¡± Helluna figured. ¡°Hughe¡¯s respawn timer will finish up here, but those guildies don¡¯t respawn here. They respawn back at their guild.¡±


    ¡°So Hughe¡¯s coming back here how soon?¡± Colt pushed.


    ¡°Probably by morning,¡± Helluna pursed her lips in obvious disdain. ¡°The player respawn timer is two hours per level. I think the NPCs are twice that. If Hughe dares to show his face at all. What a crock of shit he¡¯s been peddling about you two! I have half a mind to give him more than a finger-waving talking to. I¡¯m telling the group on him at the very least. We didn¡¯t need him to be allowed to enter the dungeon here, did we?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Colt smiled. ¡°And we¡¯d like you and your group to come back once we¡¯re through this crisis.¡±


    ¡°At least you look at the puzzles,¡± Lacey offered, trying to be nice to the clueless lady.


    ¡°They¡¯re fun,¡± Helluna chirped.


    ¡°There are treasure chests behind the puzzles,¡± Colt put on his tempting tone that made girls think his shitty hatchback was a Maserati.


    ¡°No kidding?¡± Helluna¡¯s lackadaisical attitude was too much for Lacey, who was much more interested in the group coming to kill them than Helluna finding 10 coppers of treasure. Then again, was this just a game of some sort?


    ¡°Not since the crisis actually,¡± Colt winced, and he should have been taking theater in school. ¡°We can¡¯t really afford the fees for it.¡±


    ¡°Well, I, for one, hope you two somehow maintain the dungeon,¡± Helluna leaned in conspiratorially. ¡°I can¡¯t imagine Hughe having any talent for interesting dungeon building.¡±


    ¡°You could help us,¡± Colt suggested. ¡°Just tell us the deal with how the guild plans to take over the dungeon. Our tutorial was unclear on the matter of what happens if we lose.¡±


    ¡°So Hughe didn¡¯t defeat the dungeon?¡± Helluna scowled. ¡°That cad. He said he wiped the whole pathetic dungeon and because he did, it had to grow up and make something more challenging. Then he said you two got all butt-hurt about it and killed him in spite for it. Not that I would totally blame you if that¡¯s how it went down.¡±


    ¡°If he¡¯d defeated us, then wouldn¡¯t he be running the dungeon now?¡± Colt hedged and Lacey pressed her lips together, glad that one of them could still be charming.


    ¡°True,¡± Helluna reasoned, nodding her head with Colt¡¯s smile. ¡°What do you want to know?¡±


    ¡°How did we end up with this guild after us all?¡± Colt asked, expertly putting them all in the same pot of trouble.


    They sat together and it wasn¡¯t long before Lacey buried her head in her arms as Helluna relayed the story to Colt¡¯s charming encouragement. The day that Hughe had stormed off with the threats of doom and gloom, he¡¯d gone to the adventurer¡¯s guild and sent word to the nearest big guild, a guild he¡¯d wanted to join. It had taken a week, but the guild had responded by sending the scouting team. They¡¯d taken Hughe into the dungeon to make him the new owner of it so that they could then kill him and take over the dungeon themselves.


    The rules had sounded convoluted, but Hughe had claimed the dungeon with the guild, so he had first rights to it. That meant that if the dungeon was defeated completely, Hughe was the only one who could take it over. Then he would have two days to rebuild the dungeon before it would open back up. Once it was open again, whoever wiped it next would have the right to take it over or destroy it for the value of the dungeon.


    The guild had decided to take Hughe through so that he could claim the dungeon. Whether Hughe took the money value of the dungeon or tried to run the dungeon himself, the guild would win. If Hughe took the money, they¡¯d kill him and loot his body. If Hughe tried to make a dungeon, they¡¯d just wipe it as easily as they wiped Lacey and Colt¡¯s dungeon.


    Lacey burned with fury at the thought that this guild had the power to simply come in and take over. This was Lacey and Colt¡¯s dungeon. They were the ones figuring it out without a manual and a guild could just come in and loot them? What would happen to Lacey and Colt when all that was done?


    ¡°I suppose you¡¯d die like the rest of us players,¡± Helluna answered the question for them when Lacey realized she¡¯d asked the question out loud.


    ¡°And we¡¯d get to go home?¡± Colt asked and Lacey¡¯s anger melted like butter on a Vegas sidewalk.


    ¡°I would think so,¡± Helluna laughed. ¡°It¡¯s just a game and Karma¡¯s not as bitchy as people make her out to be.¡±


    ¡°Thanks Helluna,¡± Colt stood to dust the dirt off his pants. ¡°It sounds like we¡¯ve got a lot of work to do if we only have a week to prepare.¡± The week was a godsend for Colt and Lacey, if that was really what they had.


    ¡°Sure,¡± Helluna mirrored Colt¡¯s movements with a tense smile. ¡°Like I said, I just didn¡¯t think it was fair is all. This guild is so much higher than us that we shouldn¡¯t have had to deal with them until our levels were high enough, but Hughe had to go and get all too big for his britches, if you know what I mean. Hughe¡¯s the one who brought them here, but it affects you too.¡±


    ¡°Thanks again,¡± Colt shook her hand, almost professionally. ¡°We really appreciate the info and it means the world to us.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey put in, her tone a little more sarcastic than it should have been. ¡°Come back anytime to let us know of our impending doo¡­¡±


    Colt shouldered Lacey behind him and smiled at Helluna. ¡°What are you and your party going to do?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re headed out of town for a while,¡± Helluna laughed off his concern for them. ¡°They can¡¯t wipe our party again if we aren¡¯t there to let them.¡± So much for the idea of asking Helluna for a warning when the new guildies came in.


    ¡°That sounds really wise,¡± Lacey pressed her lips together in an effort to be civil, as Colt was silently suggesting with glares and nudges. ¡°Wish we cou¡­¡±


    ¡°Absolutely,¡± Colt spoke over Lacey and ushered Helluna back out of the dungeon.


    ¡°Oh, my torch?¡± Helluna turned to say at the opening.


    ¡°Here,¡± Colt gave her the same 100-watt smile he¡¯d had when she first stepped through the doorway. ¡°Safe journeys.¡±


    ¡°Safe?¡± Lacey sputtered, but Colt was waving and smiling until Helluna was out of sight. ¡°You could at least have asked her to give us a warning when the bad guys came to town.¡±


    ¡°We have more than two days,¡± Colt replied, still smiling at the retreating form in the woods. Only Lacey would have known that Colt¡¯s smile was more ruthless than Lacey¡¯s truth had sounded. ¡°What more warning do we need?¡±

 Chapter 28 – But Will You Stay or Will You Go Now?

    Lacey bit her lip to keep from asking the question that burned in her mind as they walked back down to the control room. Sure, she¡¯d bitched about the frustration of having to build a dungeon out of bubblegum and bailing wire, but she hadn¡¯t meant it. Lacey liked it. She liked the challenge and the complexities, and yeah, she even liked that it hadn¡¯t been handed to her on a silver platter. As they walked down the steps, she admired what they¡¯d carved out together.


    The problem was Colt. Did he feel the same way? He had a family to go back to who actually liked him. It was nice and all to know they weren¡¯t going to die in here, but it was more than a game to Lacey. She didn¡¯t know why, but it was. They¡¯d spawned goblins and taught them to lay stairways out of limestone. They¡¯d built a beetle battle arena. They¡¯d even gotten to throw in a few escape room puzzles like Lacey had been dreaming of doing. She didn¡¯t want to ask, because she didn¡¯t want to know.


    ¡°No, I don¡¯t want to go home,¡± Colt stopped in front of her on the step, and Lacey was so brooding that she almost ran into him. As it was, she tilted precariously off the edge of the steps so that Colt had to catch her like he always seemed to have to do. ¡°At least not for more than Sunday dinner with Mom.¡±


    ¡°But,¡± Lacey blinked back tears that were stupid, chiding herself for being too emotional.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to go home the night your dad almost caught us sneaking into your old room for that library book you couldn¡¯t leave behind,¡± Colt cut off her protest, and Lacey scowled to hide her emotions. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to go home when they threatened to have me arrested at the college. I didn¡¯t want to go home when they fired you for showing up late four days in a row because you were shaking so bad that you couldn¡¯t run an automatic cash register. Just like I didn¡¯t want to go home after they suspended us both for fighting Jacob Timbers and I don¡¯t want to go home now.¡±


    Lacey pressed her lips together and cocked her head at him, her throat too tight to do more than pretend to scowl some more.


    ¡°You always do this,¡± Colt threw up his hands and glared at her. ¡°You think that because we get into some scrapes together that I¡¯m out the door and ready to run. I¡¯m not your mom or your dad and I don¡¯t scare easy. I¡¯m just as invested in this dungeon as you are. The only difference is that my family aren¡¯t assholes, so I might like to see them once in a while. Now, are you staying or going?¡±


    ¡°Me?¡± Lacey goggled at him, surprised that there was anything he could say to shock her anymore. Her lips twitched. ¡°What do I have to do that¡¯s any better than this shithole of a rock pit? Home is a shitty apartment that has hot water a little more often than here, but this place has a tiny bit more potential.¡±


    ¡°Good,¡± Colt grunted, turning back around before she could see his smile.


    ¡°Good,¡± Lacey grunted back at him, stomping down the stairs behind him so he wouldn¡¯t turn around and see her smile.


    ¡°And I¡¯m not interested in Helluna,¡± Colt sneered out, not looking back. ¡°What kind of name is that anyway?¡±


    ¡°Uh-huh,¡± Lacey shook her head. ¡°That¡¯s great because she had the mental capacity of a lug nut.¡±


    ¡°I know, right?¡± Colt looked back and Lacey was glad that she had her game face back on.


    ¡°Nice that she came out to warn us, though,¡± Lacey¡¯s eyes sparked with mischief as Colt walked backwards through the last goblin level and into their control room.


    ¡°I¡¯d rather date Ginger than Helluna,¡± and he said her name like it was tar on his tongue.


    ¡°Did Ginger oversleep?¡± Ginger popped her head up.


    ¡°No, that¡¯s okay Ginger,¡± Colt flinched and lowered his voice, turning back to give an unmanly giggle at Lacey. ¡°You go back to sleep.¡±


    ¡°Did Ginger miss red light?¡± Ginger asked.


    ¡°No, no, darlin¡¯,¡± Colt snickered at himself. ¡°You didn¡¯t miss a thing.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± Ginger nodded and went back under her furs.


    ¡°Okay, maybe not Ginger,¡± Colt admitted sheepishly.


    ¡°Helluna was a little smarter than Ginger,¡± Lacey held up two finger close together.


    ¡°A little,¡± Colt agreed and pinched Lacey¡¯s finger a tiny bit closer together. ¡°Helluna?¡± He grimaced comically and Lacey finally gave him the smile he¡¯d been working on.


    Lacey knew why she was with Colt, but she had no idea why Colt was with her. He could be the Clyde to anyone¡¯s Bonnie. Why he¡¯d chosen her, she couldn¡¯t fathom. It was such a good thing that they hadn¡¯t blown their friendship with love all those years ago. When he finally did fall for someone, Lacey would step aside like a good best friend, because when he fell, she¡¯d probably fall for that person too. He¡¯d have great babies with the gal and Lacey¡¯d be a wonderful crazy aunt that sneaked them candy and pop rockets when Colt finally got all tight-laced in his old age.


    ¡°Now that that¡¯s settled, and we have a whole week¡­¡± Colt started.


    ¡°Probably a whole week,¡± Lacey corrected him with a wagging finger, then tucked her finger away at the memory of the ¡°finger wagging¡± Helluna had suggested she was going to give Hughe.Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.


    ¡°Definitely a few days at least, though,¡± Colt agreed, heading straight for bed, one leather boot already halfway off his foot.


    ¡°Okay, but that¡¯s not a lot of time,¡± Lacey headed for the pedestal, her spirit of adventure renewed even if her eyes still burned a bit from exhaustion.


    ¡°Ah, come on, Lacey,¡± Colt tossed another boot in a totally different direction, knowing that Ginger would take care of it by the time he woke up. ¡°You need sleep too. Just lay down. Ginger will wake us up.¡±


    ¡°We have a week, not a hundred years,¡± Lacey objected, but her heart wasn¡¯t in it. She wanted to take off her boots too.


    ¡°Just one night?¡± Colt whined, flinging off clothes even as he flung himself onto his bunk. ¡°Sleep with me. It¡¯s too late to argue and I¡¯m too tired to con you into it. Come on, Lacey.¡±


    ¡°You want Hughe to own our dungeon?¡± Lacey objected, resisting a giggle, but it sure looked good to lay back like Colt was doing.


    ¡°You¡¯re the only woman who can say no to me when I beg them to sleep with me,¡± Colt teased her, rolling onto his side and sending her a heart-stopping leer, his head propped on one hand.


    ¡°I¡¯m the only one who¡¯s gone into a bathroom after you¡¯ve spent half an hour in it,¡± Lacey teased back, but she pulled off her boots.


    ¡°You¡¯re killing me, babe,¡± Colt complained, his tone almost hitting a whine.


    ¡°Ginger will wake us up?¡± Lacey took a deep breath and chucked off her jeans, striding toward Colt¡¯s prone figure like every woman learns how to do from movies like Top Gun, Dirty Dancing and Flashdance.


    ¡°Ginger will wake us up,¡± Colt assured her.


    ¡°Then saddle up, partner,¡± Lacey drawled and took a running start. ¡°I¡¯m sleeping with you, but you better make it worth it.¡±


    ¡°I will, baby,¡± Colt gave her a smoldering look.


    Lacey gave a laugh that Colt echoed as she vaulted up into her bunk instead of on top of him.


    ¡°Finally,¡± Colt sighed out and he was asleep within moments.


    Lacey lay on the top bunk, a grin on her face, listening to Colt¡¯s light snores. It was shit like that the made Colt¡¯s girlfriends crazy. He only did it when he was ready to let go of them though. Lacey wasn¡¯t sure why Colt hadn¡¯t fallen for anyone yet, but that was something for another day. Tonight, Lacey needed sleep, knowing her best bud was right there with her in this mess.


    She wasn¡¯t sure she¡¯d fall asleep. She was still pretty sure this was a very bad idea. She didn¡¯t dream of slimeball. She dreamt of horseback riding on a beach at sunset with a guy like Colt, but not Colt. She dreamt of bouncing baby Colts and sneaking them into dungeons that their mother approved of wholeheartedly, but that Colt had forbidden. Those twin baby girls had their mommy¡¯s brown eyes, and their daddy¡¯s blonde hair done up pigtails that only increased the Colt charm. It was a dangerous combination, but Lacey woke wondering who she knew with brown eyes. Lacey didn¡¯t have brown eyes. She had blue eyes, so they weren¡¯t her baby girls. The thought didn¡¯t hurt at all. It was a relief more than anything else. Then again, it was all silly dreams anyway.


    The first thing Lacey noticed was that the dungeon pedestal was not glowing red. Lacey stretched and took a good long breath. Was this the first time since they¡¯d gotten here that she¡¯d woken up all on her own? She smelled eggs, and possibly bacon. Lacey rolled over to see Colt at the pedestal, a half-eaten breakfast burrito in his hand.


    ¡°We can¡¯t afford breakfast burritos,¡± Lacey growled at him with sleep-rusty vocal chords. Her arms stretched up over her head. ¡°But if you get one, I want one too.¡±


    ¡°Actually, we can afford it,¡± Colt looked up with a slow smile and took another large bite of burrito. ¡°Come get yours. I figured the smell would wake you.¡±


    ¡°Speak slowly and in words that make sense until I¡¯ve had enough sustenance,¡± Lacey rolled off the bed with a happy groan.


    ¡°And there¡¯s a pot of coffee on the table,¡± Colt drawled out in the sexiest of tones.


    ¡°For a minute I thought I heard you say coffee,¡± Lacey bent to put on her boots. ¡°It was enough to make my mind think I can smell it. Don¡¯t tease me.¡±


    ¡°Not teasing,¡± Colt replied with a smug look and pointed at the table where there was indeed a pot of something. The idea that it was actual coffee seemed too unrealistic.


    Lacey followed her delusional nose until it poked right into the pot of what could only be coffee. ¡°Now I know I¡¯m still asleep and dreaming.¡±


    ¡°Reasonable assumption, but untrue,¡± Colt grinned and took another huge bite, chewing slowly. ¡°Probably.¡±


    ¡°The dungeon is blue instead of red,¡± Lacey ticked off the facts on her fingers. ¡°There is actual, honest-to-goodness coffee on the table. I feel well-rested like I¡¯ve slept far later than I should have. And you are saying we are not broke. You add to that that I¡¯m being flirted with by a sex god while my breath still smells of sleep and if even half of those things are true, we are better off than most of our lives together, so I¡¯m going to wish myself a cup of coffee with a sidecar of rocky road ice cream and a shot of Irish whiskey and call this a wonderful dream.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t get you rocky road,¡± Colt laughed at her bemused look, ¡°or whiskey, but the coffee is real and I¡¯m still saying we¡¯re not broke.¡±


    ¡°Just let me wallow in my delusions,¡± Lacey held up a hand as she took a good long sip of rich, bitter coffee from heaven itself. ¡°And order up a burrito for me.¡±


    ¡°Bacon or sausage?¡±


    ¡°Since I¡¯m dreaming, how about both?¡± Lacey replied, taking another long sip of coffee and sitting at the table that was still looked like it had been hammered together by goblins.


    ¡°Done,¡± Colt took the burrito out of the air in front of him and walked it over to her.


    ¡°This is normally when I wake up,¡± Lacey admitted, taking the burrito from him and savoring a big bite.


    ¡°I have good news and bad news,¡± Colt told her, cocking his hip onto the table next to where she was sitting in the chair. He took a blasphemously large sip of her coffee.


    ¡°I¡¯ll bite,¡± Lacey gave him a skeptical look. ¡°What¡¯s the bad news?¡±


    ¡°How did I know you¡¯d want the bad news first?¡± Colt stalled, his smile unwavering. ¡°Fine, if you must know, you were right in that Ginger did not manage to wake us up before time passed again.¡±


    A pit formed in Lacey¡¯s stomach, but the dungeon was still blue, and they had coffee so something had to be less messed up than that bit of news.


    ¡°In fact, enough time passed that we have received our password reset,¡± Colt seemed to be holding back from the worst of it. How bad could it be if they had coffee?


    ¡°That¡¯s good,¡± Lacey said, cautiously, taking another bite of burrito. It was warm and chewy with the cheese, with just the right amount of spice from the sausage and just the right about of salty from the bacon.


    ¡°It does mean that the guildies are coming sooner than we might have liked, which is more bad news,¡± Colt delivered the news like it was a mere inconvenience. ¡°But it also means that our credits have been replenished quite a bit.¡±


    ¡°How much?¡± Lacey gave Colt a side-eye.


    ¡°A lot,¡± Colt leaned forward, his palms gripping the edge of the table to keep his balance.


    ¡°Enough to reset the moonshine trap?¡± Lacey perked up, taking another larger bite of burrito and sloshing it around her mouth with a gulp of nice hot coffee.


    ¡°Yes, but,¡± Colt said as she rose to go look at the pedestal, not that it would show a number that she could read, or would it? The password reset?

 Chapter 29 – If You Give a Glutton Moonshine

    The pedestal had been left on the store screen, where Lacey could see her breakfast burrito and the cost in credits.  The good news was that the cost was in numbers she could recognize.  The bad news was that it was expensive.  Lacey flipped the screens, almost getting lost in what she could now read.


    ¡°You spent 200 credits on a pot of coffee?¡± Lacey couldn¡¯t summon the scathing tone she felt like she should have had, especially considering that they had half a million credits to play with.  Then again, half a million would go fast if they weren¡¯t careful.


    ¡°Not that I wouldn¡¯t spend that gladly each and every morning, but I actually did not,¡± Colt pushed away from the table.  ¡°I drew it.¡±


    ¡°That explains the illustration for it,¡± Lacey dipped her head to hide a smile.


    ¡°It¡¯s not Lacey-level art, but it got us one free pot because I gave it a fur handle,¡± Colt sloshed a top-off into her cup and brought it to the pedestal so Lacey could have some more, and she almost felt guilty for making fun of his drawing.


    Lacey swiped the screen back out of the store and into the map and dropped her burrito.  The whole map, save maybe the three opening rooms, were all red like they¡¯d been ransacked.


    ¡°I figured you might go to that screen first,¡± Colt caught her burrito like a pro and handed her the mug of coffee.  ¡°Makes me really wish I could have given you that shot of whiskey before you saw that.¡±


    ¡°They got us,¡± Lacey breathed out, barely resisting wasting their credits by resetting those rooms.  ¡°How are we still alive?¡±


    ¡°I was waiting for you before going out there to figure it out, but I¡¯m pretty sure we weren¡¯t raided,¡± Colt admitted, though Lacey was pretty sure that it had more to  do with not wanting to face it.  He¡¯d sat there long enough to draw a pot of coffee with a fur handle on it, so he was stalling.


    ¡°What makes you so sure?¡± Lacey asked, taking the burrito back and having trouble taking another bite right away.


    ¡°We aren¡¯t dead?¡± he quipped so that she gave him a glare.


    ¡°Somebody took his funny pills this morning,¡± Lacey bit into her burrito and did her own version of stalling.


    ¡°And someone else did not,¡± Colt countered, almost automatically.  ¡°I¡¯d like to say that I spent my time wisely, but I figured if I knew a bunch of shit you didn¡¯t this morning, you¡¯d lose your shit.  I decided to let you sleep in since Ginger says it¡¯s only been a day.¡±


    ¡°The dungeon says differently,¡± Lacey shoved more burrito in her mouth, and then reached for the dagger sheath on the table.  To calm herself down, she did the inventory of the room.


    Ginger was sweeping, but she appeared to be muttering under her breath.  The lights were blue, even with almost all the rooms red on the map.  Colt¡¯s sword was strapped onto his belt, but her dagger and sheath had been on the table where she¡¯d left it the night before.  They had half a million credits and a pedestal that was understandable.  They also had over 1,000 notifications, 200 of which were pinned to the top of the dmail list.


    Lacey bit down to hold onto the remains of her burrito and set her precious cup of coffee on the table while she shrugged on her cross-chest sheath with the daggers in it.  Taking the bite all the way and grabbing the rest of the burrito, she gave Colt a nod and headed for the doorway.  She backpedaled to her cup of coffee, then shoved what was left of the burrito into her mouth so that she¡¯d have one hand free for her dagger, not that she was convinced that she could use it.


    ¡°Ginger, don¡¯t let anyone in here while we¡¯re gone, okay?¡± Colt told Ginger, stealing Lacey¡¯s cup and going back for a refill of coffee from the pot on the table.  ¡°No one touches this coffee pot on pain of death, got it?¡±


    ¡°Ginger keep out the idjuts,¡± the little goblin nodded and Lacey wasn¡¯t sure what Colt was thinking.  If any of the higher leveled goblins came into the control room, Ginger wasn¡¯t big enough to fight them off.  Lacey turned back to watch over her shoulder as they walked out of the room and caught Ginger hiding the coffee pot in a little niche behind her furs.


    ¡°I don¡¯t give her enough credit,¡± Lacey told Colt¡¯s back.  Then she ran into the back of him.The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    With the skill of someone who had spent a lot of time peeking around Colt¡¯s large form, Lacey shoved by only to stop herself.  They both stood and stared.


    ¡°How long have we been asleep this time?¡± Lacey gaped at the room.


    The room beyond the control room was usually just a basic goblin lair, though Adam and Eve often used this one because it was so close to their masters.  The sleeping furs that Eve had loved at first were shredded.  The little cooking fire was scattered like it had been the victim of a bar brawl.  Hughe hadn¡¯t done damage like this.  He¡¯d only ever done just enough to break the room.  This room was splattered with what might have been goblin stew a few years ago.  It also stank like they¡¯d been using it as a latrine, which didn¡¯t make any sense since the water cavern was just below with its latrines.


    ¡°The pedestal¡¯s last message was all I read before opting to draw some coffee,¡± Colt answered.  ¡°It was a notice that said we were being roused from progression sleep after the maximum of five years.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a lot of words to not explain anything,¡± Lacey complained, running her hand through her hair, glad that she¡¯d finished her burrito.  This was nauseating.


    The worst of it was that there were several hulking goblin shapes in the dim area.  Lacey might have thought they were dead except that they made an awful noise that might have been snores.  The only light was a sickly clump of moss in one corner and what looked like a hat of glowing feathers on what could only be Adam.  The other goblins in the room resembled the elite guard as much as Adam looked like what Lacey and Colt remembered of him.  The main difference was that the bulk that the leveling goblins had been adding to their chest size had shifted down to their guts.


    ¡°What the hell?¡± Lacey breathed out; her nose scrunched up against the stench.


    ¡°Ginger not clean this,¡± the little goblin sniffed from behind them, her tongue clucking.


    ¡°Is this why the rooms have gone red on the pedestal?¡± Lacey whispered, more to keep from breathing in than to not wake the goblins.


    ¡°This room worse than river room,¡± Ginger huffed out.  ¡°Eve in river room.¡±


    The doorway to the river room was barricaded with what looked like some combination of cave supports, trap parts, and limestone blocks like the ones used to make stairways between levels.  They had to walk back through the control room to use their entrance to the river cavern.  Colt didn¡¯t say anything, and that worried Lacey.  He was normally quick with a bit of wit or banter, but he was getting a little red along the back of his ears.  This did not bode well.


    It was clear that the goblins hadn¡¯t been attacked.  The elite squad was little more than sitting ducks to anyone with half a weapon.  Adam was safe and sound, and fat, with his gut awkwardly covered by beetle shells, some of which glowed and some of which did not.  Lacey followed Colt down their spiral staircase only to stop again at the bottom of the stairwell, the door propped open on a very different kind of chaos.


    Eve stood hip-deep in one of the pools as several smaller goblins cast fire bolts at the rocks around her.  The result was a warm bath of sorts, but Eve was not bathing.  They had obviously walked in on a ritual of some sort.  The walls of the room, which had been rich with glowing moss before, were now much dimmer, the moss an odd purple color that somehow pulsed eerily.  The Chicker, now fully grown, lay next to one of the further pools of chilly water.  The stripes along the tiger body were glowing with the same kind of bioluminescence as the moss along the walls.  The feathers all over the head of the beast also glowed, as did its eyes and beak.  There was a huge bowl next to it of what could have been a mash of glowing worms and beetles.  It wasn¡¯t chained or leashed or even penned by more than pools of water that surrounded it, but it stayed put, almost as if it didn¡¯t like the water.


    These goblins also sported feathers, though they didn¡¯t glow, and they weren¡¯t worked into hats or headdresses.  These feathers were stuck through body piercings that reminded Lacey of a mosh pit at a punk rock concert.  It was obvious that both types of feathers could only have come from the hapless Chicker.  Nothing but it could have provided them.


    ¡°What is she doing?¡± Lacey thought she was talking to herself, but Ginger had followed them down.


    ¡°Ginger told Eve that masters wake,¡± Ginger shrugged narrow shoulders.  ¡°Eve then start ritual to thank gods for masters waking.¡±


    ¡°Where are the rest of the worker goblins?¡± Colt finally spoke up, but his voice was low enough to not be heard over the rushing river.


    ¡°Ginger not know,¡± their only remaining sane goblin replied.  ¡°Not see any other goblins since Ginger woke up.¡±


    ¡°Please tell me they didn¡¯t eat each other,¡± Lacey jumped to some macabre horror.


    Eve spun in a circle, a lot like an odd version of spin the bottle where she was the bottle and her attendants were the unfortunate victims.  Eve¡¯s voice cackled eerily in the glowing cave, so high pitched that the Chicker buried its head under tiger paws.  When Eve stopped spinning, she would fire off a bolt of fire that ricocheted off the nearest wall and back into the water, or worse into one of the goblins circling her.  The result was a plop of purple moss to the floor of the cavern or a singed goblin.


    Ginger gave a shudder at Lacey¡¯s suggestion and refused to enter the cave behind them.  The Chicker gave a wild shake of its head and feathers flew all over.  At the moment of molting, the attendant goblins rushed to the Chicker and picked up the wads of non-glowing feathers even as Eve was squealing in an ear-piercing yodel.  The goblins darted back away from the Chicker and Eve stopped the howling squawk.  The poor Chicker was missing half a dozen feathers and looked like a sickly bird head on a majestically amazing glowing black and white tiger body.


    ¡°Masters!¡± Eve was shouting as her attendants rushed over with their prizes.

 Chapter 30 – Goblin Cults with Purple Moss Punch

    Lacey slid behind Colt, not trusting the zealous look in Eve¡¯s eyes any more than Ginger had.  The goblin shaman rushed toward them with what looked suspiciously like a straightened spring sharpened into a point that looked suspiciously like it had already been used to make a few of the piercings on what Lacey now saw was mostly girl goblins.  Eve ran like no one should run with any sharp object and Colt responded by drawing his sword.


    ¡°What the hell, Eve?¡± Colt shouted, putting that sword between Eve and Lacey, who appeared to be Eve¡¯s target for the piercer.


    ¡°Initiate Lacey!¡± Eve held the needle-like instrument in one hand and a feather in the other.  ¡°Save her from Moonshine madness!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not sticking me with that thing!¡± Lacey wanted to crawl up Colt to get away from the mad goblin.


    ¡°No poking Lacey!¡± Colt said, firmly, loud enough to be heard in half the dungeon.  ¡°What¡¯s gotten into you!¡±


    ¡°Save Lacey!¡± Eve repeated.


    ¡°Drop the needle!¡± Colt demanded.


    ¡°No saving me!¡± Lacey yelled over Colt¡¯s shoulder.  ¡°My tetanus shot isn¡¯t up to date and that thing will kill me!¡±


    ¡°You have a dagger, Lace,¡± Colt reminded her, rolling his eyes and turning as Eve tried to go around Colt to get to Lacey.


    ¡°So does she!¡± Lacey screamed, keeping Colt firmly between Eve and herself.  ¡°And she isn¡¯t trying to poke you.¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t poke Colt,¡± Eve shook her head in confusion.  ¡°Colt gave Adam firewater!  Adam get infected with Moonshine madness.  Colt already lost, but Eve save Lacey!¡±


    Colt¡¯s sword dipped as he nearly buckled over laughing.  Lacey considered herself lucky he hadn¡¯t dropped it altogether.  It would have been hilarious to her too if Eve wasn¡¯t doing it to her.


    ¡°This is not funny,¡± Lacey asserted, drawing her dagger and backing toward the stairwell to avoid being surrounded by the goblin attendants.


    ¡°It¡¯s a little funny,¡± Colt shook with laughter.


    ¡°Lacey already have pokes,¡± Eve paused, confused as she fondled her ears and pointed to Lacey¡¯s.  ¡°Lacey¡¯s pokes give Eve idea!  Men wear feathers on head after beating up Chicker.  Females wear feathers in pokes!¡±


    Colt howled with laughter as Lacey kicked out at the goblins trying to grab her.  Sure, Lacey had earrings, but that didn¡¯t mean she wanted holes in any other parts of her body, especially not some of the parts that Eve had poked.  There were feathers sticking out of holes in Eve¡¯s pointed ears all the way up to the points, a few in her lip, and more in the skin around her wrists (and there were enough of those that Eve looked like she was wearing bracelets of feathers).  That sort of thing was fine for other people, but Lacey had barely wanted her ears pierced the first time and had no interest in expanding her piercings in a wildly unsanitary dungeon any more than she wanted to know if Eve had pierced stuff under her fur clothes.


    ¡°Like Lacey,¡± Eve surged forward.


    ¡°No!¡± Lacey smacked Colt¡¯s shoulder with the hilt of her dagger to get him to focus.  ¡°Colt!  This isn¡¯t the time.  No still means no.  Help me or I¡¯ll find a way to poke you with something.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m trying,¡± Colt unsuccessfully bit back a chuckle, but he did manage to put himself between Lacey and the goblins again, mostly by taking up the doorway to the stairwell.


    ¡°Not hard enough,¡± Lacey kicked at another goblin hand that snaked past Colt¡¯s guard, not that he was guarding well.  ¡°Stop this before I decide I need to unname all these goblins and start this whole fiasco over from scratch!¡±


    ¡°Eve!¡± Colt shouted, trying to be serious.  ¡°Stop this.  Stop this right now or Lacey is going to let the adventurer¡¯s kill you all and never resurrect you again.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯d be worth a dungeon wipe just to reset this madness!¡± Lacey flashed her dagger forward, tired of playing nice, and found that she had a much easier time with the dagger than she had with the old sword they¡¯d taken off of Hughe back in the beginning.  ¡°In a hundred years, they didn¡¯t devolve this bad.  Why has this happened in just 5?¡±


    ¡°Eve no save Lacey?¡± Eve practically whimpered, like the world would end if it didn¡¯t happen.


    ¡°No!¡± Colt and Lacey said together, Lacey quite a bit more vehemently than Colt who was still struggling not to laugh.


    ¡°Then all is lost,¡± Eve sat down abruptly, and the move reminded Lacey of a sulky teenager who had been told they couldn¡¯t get their navel pierced until they turned 18.If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    ¡°I¡¯ll tell you what¡¯s lost,¡± Lacey got her nerve back as the goblin attendants backed off now that their leader had given up.  ¡°You¡¯ve all lost your minds is what¡¯s lost, you crazy bunch of lunatics!  First, we find Adam in a den of filth and now you are all torturing our one summoned creature so that you can stick feathers into holes in your body.  As if that¡¯s not enough, you want to kill me with dirty needles?¡±


    ¡°Adam lost,¡± Eve moaned out.  ¡°He drink the firewater and become stupid.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure you all started out that way,¡± Lacey muttered, staying behind Colt, who sat down on the bottom step.


    ¡°What do you mean that Adam is lost, Eve?¡± Colt asked Eve, his tone more patient than what Lacey could summon.


    ¡°Moonshine madness!¡± Eve threw up her clawed hands.  ¡°He lock Eve down in water cave and block all workers from water unless they pay him in moonshine to pass.¡±


    ¡°Why not just dig more tunnels to the water cave?¡± Lacey asked.


    ¡°Adam say if Eve stop workers from paying Adam, he kill all beetles,¡± Eve shrugged.  ¡°That happen before and no crunchies in stew anymore.  Bad.  Very bad memories.¡±


    ¡°You gave in to Adam for crunchies in the stew?¡± Lacey squinted at Eve like she¡¯d suddenly gotten too fuzzy to see right.


    ¡°No crunchies mean bad magic,¡± Eve answered.  ¡°Glowing beetle crunchies make magic sparkier.¡±


    ¡°Unbelievable,¡± Lacey sat behind Colt on a higher stair so she could still see over his shoulder.


    ¡°It¡¯s not so weird actually,¡± Colt defended Eve¡¯s simple explanation.  ¡°Think about it.  Eve can probably only beat Adam in a fight if her magic is at peak power.  If the magic got weaker, she would be at the mercy of a tyrant.¡±


    ¡°But why is he a tyrant?¡±  Lacey protested.  ¡°Did he do this last time too?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Eve shook her head.  ¡°Adam worker goblin back then.  Not fighter goblin.  Not chief.  Beetles died out when big ones get greedy and eat eggs.  Beetles stupid.  Big magic not needed back then.  Adam do worker work, not fight for chief.¡±


    ¡°So, he¡¯s the problem,¡± Lacey raised an eyebrow at Eve.


    ¡°Adam not problem,¡± Eve tried to copy Lacey¡¯s eyebrow, but only managed to look surprised instead of stern.  ¡°Moonshine is problem.  It make Adam stupid like beetles.¡±


    ¡°This is all stupid,¡± Lacey finally sheathed her dagger again, so that she wouldn¡¯t poke someone¡¯s eye out with it as she charged back up the steps.


    ¡°Lacey!¡± Colt called out, dashing up behind her.  ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m going to sober up that power-mad dolt,¡± Lacey swore out.


    ¡°You were afraid of Eve with the needle and yet you want to confront a drunk and tell him he¡¯s done drinking?¡± Colt reasoned.


    ¡°I don¡¯t have to make sense if nothing else does,¡± Lacey answered back, charging into their control room and right over to the pedestal.  ¡°I mean why didn¡¯t they just bypass the blockade by using our control room?  They can obviously come in here to dump stuff in the pedestal, so they could come in anytime to get by Adam¡¯s stupid rules.¡±


    ¡°No one want to wake masters,¡± Ginger was saying, her broom faster as it tried to sweep up years of dust.  ¡°Except Ginger.  Ginger supposed to wake masters, but Ginger not know time go by.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not your fault, Ginger,¡± Colt tried to reassure her as Eve and her goblins followed behind him into the room.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Colt demanded as Lacey began to swipe through to the map.


    ¡°I¡¯m testing the system,¡± Lacey told him, reading as she went through screens.  ¡°If we can move traps, maybe we can move things like the pools of water.  In fact,¡± she scrolled and tapped, ¡°yep, we can move water.  I don¡¯t know why I didn¡¯t think about it before.¡±


    ¡°Move water?¡± Colt asked, his eyes growing large.


    ¡°Nothing better to wake up a drunk than to dowse them in lots of water,¡± Lacey grinned maliciously as a howl and gurgle came from the room next to them.  The howls were followed by a sloshing of water into their room before it receded.  Ginger frowned fiercely at the mess that managed to come a full 5 feet into her mostly clean room.


    ¡°Eve!¡± came the angry scream from the drunk in question.  The holler came from the water cavern.


    Rather than have all the extra water bring all that filth into their control room, Lacey had simply moved the pieces of the blockade to the doorway into the control room.  Only a small amount of a full 15 by 15 foot cube of rushing river water worked its way through the cracks of the blockade.  The rest had flushed the elite goblins and their unwashed surroundings into the water cavern.


    Adam and the elites were loud with growling and shouting as they listened to them climb their stairs to their room only to be flushed again.  More screeching rivaled all of what Eve had done to torture the poor Chicker.  After the third flushing, Lacey moved the rooms around Adam¡¯s room so that Adam found himself rushing into the control room without any of his other elites.  His elites were stuck in a room that had no exits at all.  Adam came into the control room sputtering and enraged, what was left of his glowing feather headdress hanging half off his head like so much wet wilted lettuce.


    ¡°Eve!¡± Adam shouted, only half aware, in his rage, that the room was the control room or that it held anyone other than his shaman.


    ¡°Shut the fuck up, you blowhard son of a bitch!¡± stopped Adam in his tracks as Lacey stepped between him and Eve.


    Colt shook his head, ¡°You hid behind me from Eve, who had a tiny little needle and then charge in front of Eve to stand between her and a goblin with a sword?¡±


    Lacey responded by pulling out her dagger and, without warning, throwing it at the goblin holding the sword.  The handle of the dagger bounced off the chief¡¯s armor, but Lacey was undeterred.  ¡°If you don¡¯t drop the sword and the attitude, I¡¯m going to pluck every feather off that headdress and then pluck off your balls and feed them to the Chicker while you watch!¡±


    Adam took a wide-eyed step back from the little woman who was only about a head taller than him.  The sword clattered to the floor.


    ¡°I¡¯m your freaking maker, you drunk muck-maker!¡± Lacey poked her finger forward as she stalked toward the confused goblin chief.  ¡°Who gave you the right to drink my moonshine?¡±


    Adam threw Colt under the bus faster than the water flushed the goblins.  One shaking greedy finger rose to point at Colt, who groaned out a sigh and looked up at the ceiling.


    ¡°I have days, DAYS!¡± Lacey¡¯s rant went on, her voice echoing terrifyingly off the control room¡¯s high ceiling, ¡°to prep enough defenses so that a whole bunch of those big wig guildies don¡¯t wipe out this dungeon and cash it out for coppers!!  And you spend 5 years destroying it all so you can get drunk with your buddies?¡±

 Chapter 31 – Gob-smacked Room Full of Goblins

    ¡°Big bads come back?¡± Eve asked into the silence that followed Lacey¡¯s much longer rant.  Lacey managed to call into question Adam¡¯s non-existent parentage and insult each and every one of his predecessors in such a way as to convince all in attendance that he wasn¡¯t the spawn of a system pedestal.


    ¡°Yes, Eve,¡± Colt answered as Lacey panted.


    ¡°Uh, oh,¡± Adam responded to that, his eyes never leaving Lacey.


    ¡°You¡¯re just lucky I¡¯ve had some coffee, or I¡¯d pull off every digit of your body that is smaller than your arms and eat them raw!¡± Lacey finished up, finally leaning back on her back foot with her arms crossed.  ¡°Would you care to explain why all my rooms are red?¡±


    ¡°Eve kill moonshine maker,¡± Adam moved his pointer finger from Colt to Eve.


    ¡°I¡¯ll deal with Eve later, but YOU, YOU ruined my dungeon in a fight over moonshine,¡± Lacey demanded answers with a light in her eyes that had the chief quivering.


    ¡°Adam try to rebuild firewater maker, but Eve not charge firewater,¡± Adam spread his hands like it was only logical.


    ¡°I don¡¯t CARE what Eve did,¡± Lacey lowered her voice to a deadly growl.  ¡°Why is my dungeon red, Adam, chief of the clan and responsible for every single thing that happens when we aren¡¯t awake?¡±


    ¡°Adam drink tiny little cup of moonshine with Colt,¡± Adam tried to explain to Lacey¡¯s thunderous expression.  ¡°Then Colt go to sleep.  Adam drink tiny bit more moonshine.  Celebrate victory over big wig bads.¡±


    When Adam stopped explaining, Lacey stomped forward to grab one of his ears and drag him to the pedestal.  ¡°Then why is this empty?¡±


    ¡°Adam try rebuild moonshine maker!!¡± Adam squealed, his hand grasping toward his ear without touching Lacey¡¯s pinching fingers.


    ¡°So you drank the rest of the moonshine?!¡± Lacey shouted so loud, even Colt flinched.


    Having gotten to the map, the first place Lacey had looked had been the moonshine/firewater reservoir only to find it completely empty.  A single glance at the trap room where Adam had pulled the plug on the reservoir to kill the last party, and Lacey could see that the still was totally destroyed.  She¡¯d known that going into all this.


    ¡°Eve blow up moonshine maker!!¡± Adam insisted, stomping a foot, but still not daring to touch Lacey¡¯s still firm grip on his ear.


    ¡°You see this?¡± Lacey poked Adam in his bloated stomach with her other hand.  ¡°This is what happens when a greedy goblin drinks ALL MY MOONSHINE!!!  This does not happen in a day with a single tiny cup of moonshine.  This takes years of work!¡±


    ¡°Colt share moonshine with Adam,¡± Adam whined.


    ¡°Wrong answer, dude,¡± Colt shook his head at the chief.


    ¡°Celebrate victory?¡± Adam tried again.


    ¡°No!¡± Lacey yelled at the top of her lungs.  She yelled loud and long and when she was done, Adam finally hung his head.


    Lacey let go of Adam¡¯s ear and turned to the pedestal to move a few rooms around again.


    ¡°Do you know what you¡¯re going to do now, Adam?¡± Lacey purred, her eyes still glittering like she¡¯d eaten purple moss punch.


    Adam shook his head back and forth.


    ¡°You,¡± Lacey turned from the pedestal to point toward the open doorway he¡¯d come out of raging only moments before.  ¡°YOU, Mr. Chief of this tribe, are going to get every single goblin in the tribe to turn every single room of this dungeon into bright green, ready rooms.¡±


    ¡°Yes, Masters,¡± the goblin nodded and started to leave.  He was halted by Lacey¡¯s hand snatching the back of his stained leather armor.


    ¡°AND,¡± Lacey put her lips right up next to his ear.  ¡°You will do it nicely and respectfully as you ask your tribe to fix how badly you screwed everything up so we don¡¯t all DIE!!!!!¡±


    With that, she kicked the chief in the ass and turned back to the rest of the gob-smacked room full of goblins.  Only Colt stood without fear or awe.  This was nothing new to him and of all of them, he was the safest so far.  He knew how to keep it that way.  Eve was distracted by the sight of her foe skittering out the door and into the dungeon where he was already calling to his recently freed elites to round everyone up for a meeting.


    ¡°And YOU,¡± Lacey pounced on Eve, grabbing not the ear, but the feathers poking through both ears of the goblin shaman.  ¡°You are going to personally charge up all the firewater I want.¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t make firewater,¡± Eve stupidly crossed her arms stubbornly over her chest, obviously lulled by Lacey¡¯s lack of blame in the previous argument.  ¡°Adam drink it as soon as I make it.¡±


    ¡°You destroyed my still,¡± Lacey broke a feather off, pulling it roughly out of the ear as Eve squealed like a stuck pig.  ¡°You did that.  You took something I paid for, and you turned it into scrap metal.  I¡¯m going to rebuild the still and you are going to help me.  You and every one of your little helpers.¡±The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    Eve grabbed her bleeding ear and gaped at Lacey.  Still, Eve set a stubborn chin and shook her head no.  ¡°Adam will only drink everything you make.  You see.  Eve right.¡±


    ¡°You will make it, or I will drown you in moonshine and your madness will make Adam look like a saint!  Then I¡¯ll wall you up in a tiny room with no exit and wait for the worms to eat off your toes.¡± Lacey whispered in Eve¡¯s ear.  The following words dripped with venom and drained all the color from Eve¡¯s face.  It took longer to convince Eve, but Lacey did it, finishing with the promise to resurrect Eve only to repeat the process for every time that Eve refused her.  She did it all in a whisper that hissed.


    Dark Lacey was a trip to the dark side of a black hole transport through hell.  Colt poured more coffee and handed it to her when she was done.  Lacey only nodded and pulled up dmail to check their notifications.  They read them together until the dangerous glitter left her eyes and the world was, for the moment, safe again.


    Name: Lacey


    Class: Dungeon Manager


    Level: 11


    Health: 253/253


    Mana: 385/385


    Intelligence: 26


    Will: 9


    Strength: 15


    Constitution: 8


    Charm: 10


    Beauty: 10


    Perception: 15


    Dexterity: 5


    Luck: 13


    Skills:  Climbing (4), Comedy (13), Creating (27), Drawing (25), Hide (3), Intimidation (10), Kick (5), Knife Fighting (2), Lockpicking (10), Management (8), Mischief (9), Unarmed Combat (2)


    Name: Colt


    Class: Dungeon Manager


    Level: 11


    Health: 484/484


    Mana: 363/363


    Intelligence: 19


    Will: 14


    Strength: 25


    Constitution: 19


    Charm: 30


    Beauty: 12


    Perception: 15


    Dexterity: 12


    Luck: 6


    Skills: Bashing (2), Comedy (15), Drawing (1), Flirting (20), Grapple (6), Kick (1), Management (14), Mischief (8), Patience (9), Persuasion (10)


    They¡¯d found their character sheets and the tutorial.  For the moment, they were still locked out of most of the pedestal¡¯s functions until they finished a laundry list of quests.  Half of the quests were things they¡¯d already done while fumbling around.  They¡¯d summoned all their basic creatures in the male and female forms, where possible.  They¡¯d moved rooms, contents, and learned that they could move creatures too.  They¡¯d done a ¡°short sleep¡± which was a feature that allowed dungeons to propagate and progress naturally between incursions.  The fact that they called it a feature didn¡¯t lessen Lacey¡¯s disdain for it.  The ¡®feature¡¯ could be set to automatically happen during sleep periods, or it could be manually applied.  They switched it to manual.


    They''d upgraded things like the worm habitats, but now that they could read the newer upgrades, they upgraded some more.  The worms and moss could be colored, but it wasn¡¯t just cosmetic.  Different colored moss had different properties that could be infused into creatures that ate the moss, thus also infusing it into the drops off of those creatures.  They upgraded the bats and their cave.


    While they had enough credits to buy the moonshine they needed, they¡¯d lost the tech tree that made it economically feasible.  Things outside a discovered tech tree were up to ten times the cost of things they had earned the hard way.  Some tech was limited, and some tech was just denied until they reached certain levels.  The drawings were almost a cheat of that system, but while Lacey made two attempts at redrawing the still, they only managed to come up with already created designs.  Their fur-covered parts work-around had been nerfed during their sleep.  Colt¡¯s coffee pot was more of a fluke than a use of the fur to make it new.


    ¡°Hot springs upgrade for the water cavern?¡± Colt suggested over lunch.  ¡°Could get us sulfur to work with on the tech tree.¡±


    ¡°You know the source of hot springs?¡± Lacey replied distractedly, more intent on new controls and what they revealed.


    ¡°No,¡± Colt realized he didn¡¯t only after she asked.


    ¡°Volcanos,¡± Lacey stated, tapping the screen with her middle finger instead of her index finger.  The action opened up new options within windows they already knew.  It was like a right-click on a computer.  ¡°I¡¯m not all that interested in letting this system complicate our lives with volcanic problems on top of everything else.¡±


    ¡°Dang, all I was thinking of was hot water for showers,¡± Colt admitted.  ¡°And possibly gunpowder.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s why we make a good team,¡± Lacey said, using her ring finger to access the help menu for the option she was fiddling with.  Her pinky finger broke options down into smaller parts, opening up new minutia for what they could access.


    The access to the breakfast burritos was one of the things that broke down into parts, giving them access to things like cheese, eggs, tortillas, sausage, and bacon, but also fry pans and cooking fires that were as simple as what they¡¯d already bought to gas grills that made Colt drool.  All of these options were ways to bypass the tutorial¡¯s training wheels, but during the times that Lacey drew, Colt would tick off the quests one by one.


    The trickiest part of the system was how it limited purchases beyond their known tech trees.  Even if they wanted to buy the moonshine or some other explosive that could replace it, they¡¯d already maxed out the percentage of their income that they could put toward it.  They could buy coffee as something in the creature comforts tech tree because they hadn¡¯t used up their allotments of advancements in that tech tree.  Lacey¡¯s previous hasty purchase of all that moonshine to fill that cavern had used up the explosives they could afford in that tech tree.


    Unfortunately, that meant that they needed to unlock the tech tree for the still to recreate it at this point.  While they could buy the parts for the still, putting it together would take some finagling as they struggled not to misuse their percentages.  The only reason they hadn¡¯t hit those limits before was that they¡¯d been working from a blank slate and that first 100 year sleep had earned a ton of funds.  They had a rudely worded notice that the 100 year sleep was nerfed, as if they¡¯d misused the feature on purpose.


    ¡°Maybe it¡¯s better that we aren¡¯t reusing the still explosion as a trap,¡± Colt suggested as he stood at the pedestal ticking off tutorial quest tasks and Lacey sat at the table drawing what they wanted for dinner.  ¡°Those ones who died will surely tell their buddies about it.  It couldn¡¯t work twice, could it?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s going to become a pain over time,¡± Lacey said, shading the French fries with the new set of colored pencils.

 Chapter 32 – The Aztec Tomb

    ¡°Are you talking about our Aztec Tomb?¡± Colt inspected the map Lacey had drawn and torn out of their book.


    ¡°Why not?¡± Lacey bit her lip.


    ¡°It¡¯s a maze,¡± Colt ran his hand over the back of his neck. ¡°Let¡¯s put it in and see what it gives us.¡±


    ¡°Now that we can expand it past 3 rooms, it might as well be a full-sized maze,¡± Lacey rubbed her hands together as Colt dropped the page.


    The diagram disappeared into the pedestal, and they were gifted with more than they¡¯d expected from the drawing. Until that morning, they hadn¡¯t tried using the grid paper. The tutorial had requested a dungeon room design and Lacey had spent the required hour on the drawing, carefully sketching out the detailed maze that held enough traps to choke a party of dolts. She¡¯d gained a few skill points for it too.


    (Lacey) Drawing +3


    ¡°Aztec Tomb Maze,¡± the system echoed the name of the design that Lacey had printed neatly at the top of the page. ¡°Design now available. Apply to new room or repurpose an existing room?¡±


    (Lacey) Creating +1


    The price for each choice was listed at the side with a hefty discount both for Lacey¡¯s skill level and the fact that they¡¯d just submitted the detailed drawing of a unique item. It turned out that the more detailed the drawing was, the higher the discount was for the implementation. While they couldn¡¯t just add fur to something to get the unique tag anymore, Lacey had enough ingenuity to keep getting these bonuses for truly new ideas.


    ¡°That¡¯s not too expensive,¡± Colt nodded his head and chose to accept the room as a new piece of their dungeon.


    ¡°Did that price include the traps I put in there?¡± Lacey looked around Colt¡¯s meaty hands to scan the room details on the screen.


    ¡°It did, but I think a few of them are red,¡± Colt pointed at one of the red spots.


    ¡°Pneumatic system required for spear trap is not available at current tech levels,¡± the system told them.


    ¡°Only 4 are red,¡± Lacey was happy with the result. She had expected to have to manually set most of the traps. There were 15 other traps that the system had set automatically. ¡°I don¡¯t need pneumatics. I just wondered if it would give it to me. I could try something simpler for the mechanism on that one.¡±


    ¡°We can swap them out with a few of our other traps,¡± Colt brought up the options with a middle finger click on the traps.


    ¡°What about parts?¡± Lacey stopped him, using a pinky click instead to bring up the components.


    ¡°We can afford those parts, but not at our current tech level,¡± Colt shook his head.


    ¡°The tutorial wanted a part design,¡± Lacey strode back to the table to open the book and bring it back to the pedestal, so she could look at the part in question.


    ¡°Parts need schematics on the grid paper with weight and stress factors,¡± Colt backed up, but watched Lacey try to draw the belt system needed for a tension spring release on the spear chucker that could replace the pneumatics. ¡°We¡¯d need to be engineers for that, and those weren¡¯t classes that agreed with you in college.¡±


    ¡°It isn¡¯t that hard,¡± Lacey tucked her tongue into her cheek and scratched out the basics. ¡°Dealing with professors who think it¡¯s useless to apply engineering to dungeon designs is the hard part. Counterweights and mph measurements for deployment systems is the fun stuff.¡±


    ¡°If you say so,¡± Colt raised his hands and backed away so she could work.


    ¡°That¡¯s another reason we get along, baby,¡± Lacey smirked at him, her eyes not leaving her sketch. ¡°What¡¯s the square root of 57.9?¡±


    ¡°Like almost 7 and a half,¡± Colt answered easily, having taken an online course for mental math that had turned him into a handy calculator.


    (Colt) Intelligence +1


    ¡°Thanks,¡± Lacey muttered around the colored pencil in her mouth as she did the calculations at the side of the paper for the tension on the coils.


    (Lacey) Intelligence +1


    Within the hour, they had a clockwork mechanism that allowed them to wind up the tension via coils to provide the pressure system that could replace the pneumatic one. Now that the goblins had the fear of their makers impressed upon them, their work ethic had greatly improved so that it was almost as good as before the five-year sleep.This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    (Lacey) Management +1


    ¡°Let¡¯s replace the tomb springs with a simpler system that they spring themselves,¡± Colt suggested, wiping away the trap for the final sarcophagus and replacing it with plates to uncover holes that would allow the contents of the sarcophagi to leak out into the channels between the floor tiles.


    ¡°Okay,¡± Lacey rolled her shoulders to work out the stiffness she got from scrunching over the book for too long. ¡°I need a break, though. Do you mind if I head out to check the maze in person?¡±


    ¡°Knock yourself out,¡± Colt waved her out, replacing her at the pedestal. ¡°I¡¯ve got some reading to do on dungeon wipe protocols to keep me busy as long as you aren¡¯t hogging the pedestal.¡±


    Lacey belted on her daggers over the leather armor and left him to his part of the tasks they¡¯d split. Over the past several days, they¡¯d fallen into a rhythm. Colt was in charge of prioritizing and assigning the tasks on the tutorials to-do list as well as balancing those tasks with the more important efforts at booby-trapping their dungeon for impending adventurers that would be at least twice their level and probably pissed about dying.


    Every day that passed had them both more tense about it happening at any moment and more prepared. The rooms Lacey passed on her way to the maze were well-lit and clean, now that they¡¯d assigned Ginger to organizing the worker goblins. Without the worker goblins to boss around, Eve and Adam had returned to their specific jobs of training those in their departments. Eve and Adam also had schedules and task lists every day that kept them too busy to cause trouble. Colt would do surprise inspections at odd times of the day to make sure they kept to the tasks. Those that didn¡¯t ended up on bat guano collecting duty or worm herding. They¡¯d really stopped slacking only when Adam or Eve, whichever was the supervisor of the errant or lazy goblin, was also assigned to shit duty if their subordinates were caught not doing their jobs.


    Lacey walked to the maze instead of letting Colt Wonka-vator her directly to the rooms because they didn¡¯t want to be caught with any rooms out of sequence when the big wigs arrived. Colt had suggested creating a small room that could be used entirely as an elevator of sorts, but Lacey nixed the idea. First, she wanted to walk. Too much sedentary life made her feel the confinement of the dungeon worse. Second, a small compartment that could be suddenly caught halfway from here to there with no escape by an adventurer crossing their threshold didn¡¯t sound like a reasonable risk when she had two perfectly good feet to make the trip on.


    (Lacey) Strength +1


    All but their moonshine trap room had been turned from red to green by the sweat of goblins instead of the shine of coinage. Moss had been planted, instead of stuffed, into limestone crown molding on most of the rooms. It had been a dungeon-wide upgrade, something that had been required by the tutorial. The tutorial was more of a laundry list of chores than a list of teaching moments like they might have intended, but Lacey and Colt were working their way through them. It had actually been that upgrade that had inspired Lacey to design the Aztec tomb, an expansion to the three-room escape experience she and Colt had designed back in the old world.


    Approaching the maze, Lacey stepped over the trapped bricks and stood too close to the stone doorway with the Aztec design on it. Any further away would trigger a sinking trap that turned the brick floor into quicksand. Of course, being this close to the door made it difficult to see how the design was used to unlock the door. The safe portion of the floor was the single foot nearest the door, so that your nose was against it. The unsafe portion stretched around a corner of the path to the door. It was actually easier to use magic for traps that unlock the mechanical tech trees necessary for the highest level traps.


    Lacey closed her eyes and listened for the clicks as she pressed the correct sequence of protrusions to open the door. They also learned to attach the puzzles to the doors themselves rather than giving a key to a padlock that a thief could just pick with thieves¡¯ tools. Every door had a puzzle on it, and most places had traps. Lacey waved to the Ceiling Sucker she¡¯d named Chuck. He was one of her creations, a menagerie that had increased their number of available mobs from 4 to 37. Chuck and the Sinkhole, a version of a mimic that acted like quicksand but was really a monster. Together they were Chuck and Muck.


    Lacey hopped the obvious pit trap and then tiptoed around the edge of Muck. The first branching section of the maze allowed for 3 options. They could go left or right in an obvious way, or they could punch the nose of the giant head and fight a golem to go forward. Lacey poked the golem¡¯s nose playfully and it opened its mouth just tall enough for her to squeeze through and into a secret passage. This tunnel held a dozen different trap mechanisms, but George wouldn¡¯t let anyone into this corridor that wasn¡¯t a denizen of the dungeon. First, George didn¡¯t count as a secret door, so thieves couldn¡¯t just recognize it by skill alone. Second, George didn¡¯t look different from the rest of the walls. His nose was just another brick. Finally, George was a major introvert and hid from people he didn¡¯t know and would retreat behind an actual wall rather than interact with any adventurer. This type of monster was allowed once and then nerfed quickly afterward. They managed to make a dozen Georges before the nerf snapped on. They were all named George 1, George 2 and so on because Lacey wanted to be able to endlessly respawn them. She¡¯d sneaked another three Georges in by putting them in the maze design to hide the maintenance tunnels for the traps.


    ¡°You are going to be George 13 and that¡¯s a lucky number for this dungeon,¡± Lacey told the monster at her back.


    Lacey wound some cranks, blew some dust off of a few triggers, and plucked some sinews to test for tautness on others. She viewed the rest of the maze through peepholes here and there, not that the peepholes were visible from the other side of the walls due to the periscope nature of them. Lacey had managed to create mirrors with some silver and glass, but magnets still stumped her. She¡¯d have to wait until they earned a magnet somehow or gained enough credits to open that tech tree¡¯s purchase options back up to get that magnet. It was on a wish list of items that Colt kept close tabs on.


    Wasn¡¯t it just her luck that she was in the maze when the dungeon turned red?

 Chapter 33 – They Nerfed My Georges!

    Even though the dungeon pulsed with a red glow, Lacey knew that it wasn¡¯t really that color to anyone else. The red was a dungeon creator overlay. Lacey toggled it off to see better but kept the notification blinking in a small corner of what she now knew of as a display over her regular vision.


    ¡°Lucky me,¡± Lacey quipped to George 13. ¡°At least I have you for company. Let¡¯s go get your Aztec brothers before the incursion gets here.¡±


    ¡°Lacey, you okay?¡± Colt¡¯s words flitted across the bottom of her screen rather than out loud. They could have upgraded to voice instead of captions, but Lacey and Colt had agreed to be stingy on perks that didn¡¯t make them more lethal until the guildies were taken care of.


    ¡°I¡¯m okay,¡± Lacey replied, her voice sucked away to become text right below his in the text box. That was another reason they kept the captioning. Any communication between them was perfectly silent to anyone else. It just took intent to keep their conversation private. ¡°I¡¯m just going to grab all the Georges real quick before the bad guys get here. What are we facing?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s the big baddies,¡± Colt answered. ¡°Not the same guys this time, but more of them. It¡¯s weird that they aren¡¯t the same guys. Why wouldn¡¯t they want to retry it with their previous experience.¡±


    ¡°Are they higher level?¡± Lacey asked, nimbly tiptoeing around a couple more traps to get to the next place where the maintenance tunnel had an exit.


    ¡°A little, but not enough for that to be the reason,¡± Colt answered. ¡°Wait, I got a help response to that. Oh, the NPCs don¡¯t have the same liberties that PCs do. The NPCs are banned from a dungeon for one year if they wipe in it. Woah!¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Lacey plucked another George off the wall and named it George 14. When compacted, Georges were about the size of a marble that she could fit in her pocket. Unfolded, the Georges could cover a wall big enough for Lacey to walk through or Colt to squeeze through.


    ¡°NPCs don¡¯t remember dungeons if they wipe in it,¡± Colt¡¯s words came back, and she could almost hear the crowing. ¡°In fact, they don¡¯t remember it even if they back out. They only remember the dungeon if they get a full wipe.¡±


    ¡°Huh, that¡¯s cool,¡± Lacey thought to him. That was great news for them since it meant that their traps and puzzles could work over and over again even if this group came back every day.


    ¡°It¡¯s a perk of PCs that they can remember the dungeon when they exit,¡± Colt told her.


    ¡°So we still have to change it up for them,¡± Lacey replied. They were already set up for that as they could juggle rooms around, but also juggle the components and placements of their traps and puzzles. It was only the puzzle components that the PCs could learn.


    Lacey and Colt had worked hard to use only puzzles that could be changed up. The maze walls could be shuffled for a different solution each time. The puzzle answers were rotatable. The puzzle types were tweakable. Lacey was relieved that the high levels could be run through the same dungeon over and over, knowing that as long as it killed or repelled them once, it would likely kill or repel them a second time.


    (Lacey) Intelligence +1


    ¡°This changes our chances of survival heavily in the positive side,¡± Colt said.


    ¡°30 rooms already had our chances pretty high to begin with,¡± Lacey muttered, more comfortable counting on herself more than the luck of these rules that could be nerfed any time. ¡°I¡¯m at the second maintenance tunnel. I¡¯m going to duck in here and wait them out with the 4 Georges in my pocket. Give me a blow by blow.¡±


    ¡°They are in the first level,¡± Colt answered her. ¡°Fighter, level 29. Cleric, level 27. Thief, level 29. Mage, level 28. Bard, level 24. They are kicking beetle ass and getting cocky just like the last group. We did well resetting those levels up there even if they didn¡¯t have a heads up about the dungeon makeup. It really does make these big guys underestimate us.¡±


    (Colt) Perception +1


    ¡°They¡¯re cheap to reset and make them use time and energy,¡± Lacey took down another George after slipping into the tunnel.


    ¡°They don¡¯t like the puzzle doors, haha,¡± Colt¡¯s chuckle came through in an almost emoji way. ¡°The fighter is trying to bulldoze the door rather than let the mage try to figure it out. The mage is crossing his arms and tapping his foot. Lol.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve got plenty of time then,¡± Lacey laughed to herself. She cranked the handle for another trap and tested several poisoned darts. That had been a tech tree they hadn¡¯t used anything in, so they used some credits to open that up. Back engineering the poison had been a bit of a chore, but Colt was pretty good at it. The doors were a foot thick stones on slider systems that only activated when the puzzle was solved manually.


    ¡°Why¡¯d you name it the Aztec Tomb, anyway?¡± Colt asked, obviously bored with watching the party stomp little beetles on level one. They now had ten rooms per level with every three rooms increasing the level of difficulty by a few levels and the final room of a floor being a puzzle trap. They¡¯d added all that in after the 12<sup>th</sup> floor since the old 13<sup>th</sup> floor had been the still bomb.


    ¡°First, for the human sacrifice aspect that allowed me to theme in pools of blood around the altars in the center room,¡± Lacey pulled the final George into her pocket, naming it George 16. ¡°But mostly because these old civilizations like this have all sorts of stories that end in mass extinction or disappearance events that made me think they go in but they don¡¯t go out.¡±


    ¡°Do you think they¡¯ll reach you?¡± came across her vision and she knew that he was worried about her being outside in the dungeon while the group was there.If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    ¡°We finished the first 3 levels that are after the floors we had before the still explosion and the maze is now on level 17,¡± Lacey tried to reassure him. ¡°Let¡¯s do the math, Mr. Mental. 12 annoyance levels that Hughe¡¯s folks couldn¡¯t get through alone, followed by the 3 new levels with rising difficulty every 3 rooms. Besides, this maze is on the last level we¡¯ve completed, so if they get through here, they had us cornered anyway. I¡¯m as safe as you are.¡±


    (Lacey) Intelligence +1


    ¡°Some part of me knows all that, but I¡¯d feel better if you were here instead of there.¡±


    ¡°You want me to try to get back there?¡± Lacey offered because she didn¡¯t want him to feel alone. ¡°I might not be able to go in, but I could be nearer if you need it. I might even be able to hear you.¡±


    Colt had tried to get out of the control room during an incursion back in the beginning, but there had been an invisible wall that had kept him in the room. Lacey knew that he¡¯d already tried to get to her and failed. It was just the Colt thing to do. The least she could do was try it the other way. At least it was a possibility. Even if Colt wasn¡¯t nervous, it was worth testing.


    ¡°I¡¯m on my way,¡± Lacey said into the silence of the texts. He didn¡¯t have to ask. She knew.


    Lacey pulled out George 13, but she put him right back in her pocket once she was outside of the maintenance tunnels. She was back at the control room before the NPC adventurers had gotten down to level 3. They weren¡¯t challenged except by the endless puzzles that they¡¯d stuck on every door of the previous levels. The fighter really didn¡¯t like those puzzles at all.


    It said something that Colt was at the door instead of the pedestal when she came into view. The door was open, but Lacey didn¡¯t expect to get through, so she practically fell into him as she did. ¡°That was unexpected,¡± she grinned at him as he grinned back at her.


    (Colt) Dexterity +1


    ¡°Guess it only worked one way,¡± Colt punched the invisible one-way wall.


    ¡°That¡¯s good to know,¡± Lacey deflected from the touchy-feely moment with humor. ¡°It¡¯s always good to know the limits of everything.¡±


    (Lacey) Comedy +1


    ¡°I guess it makes sense since the adventurers have to be able to get through it too, right?¡± Colt reasoned, his hand lingering on her shoulder.


    ¡°You think using a George would let us bypass it?¡± Lacey mused, patting his hand as they walked to the pedestal to watch the adventurers.


    ¡°Even if it did work today, the system would nerf it tomorrow,¡± Colt gave a chuckle at the idea, but he was probably right.


    ¡°Then we¡¯ll save that trick for a try on a day we really need it,¡± Lacey winked at him. ¡°Oo! They¡¯ve made it to the cat rooms.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s hard to watch them kill our Chickers though,¡± Colt winced as the first room with only a single cat in it was cleared easily. They¡¯d replaced a few beetle levels with Chicker levels, with a new battle arena system that allowed for leveled up mobs. The Chickers were level 11 because they¡¯d made them when the dungeon was level 11. A single Chicker wasn¡¯t much of a threat to a level 29 adventurer, but Chickers turned out to be pack animals, more like wolves than tigers. When you put 2 together, they played off of each other in a way that made them more than twice as dangerous. In the first of the Chicker rooms, the puzzle at the door was more challenging than the single animal and Lacey almost felt sorry for it. They¡¯d change that up for the next time. Then again, the section of the dungeon was only meant to be challenging to a level 11-15 character. ¡°They kind of grow on you.¡±


    ¡°Me too, buddy,¡± Lacey nodded, a little shocked to watch the two Chickers in the next room viciously pounce on the mage from behind and peck with that nasty beak for some head trauma. Those same Chickers had been almost affectionate to Lacey and Colt, especially after they¡¯d saved one of them from the goblin civil war.


    Watching the NPCs crow over the skins just didn¡¯t sit well with Lacey and made her want to do better in creating an environment that the Chickers could shine. Next time, she thought, wondering if they could level up the Chickers by letting them battle some level 11 beetles. Now that they could create higher level beetles, they were getting up to levels 15 and above. Even Lacey and Colt had trouble wrangling the battle-crazed beetles. Lacey wanted to kick herself for not thinking of all this in time for the incursion.


    ¡°We¡¯ll do better next time,¡± Lacey told Colt with a pat on his arm.


    ¡°I thought they¡¯d have a bit more of a challenge than what they¡¯ve done so far,¡± Colt crossed his arms and stared at the screen of the room they were on. They¡¯d made it to the puzzle room of the fourth floor of the dungeon. ¡°The dungeon might be slowing them down, but they are still mowing through some of our best mobs.¡±


    ¡°There aren¡¯t any traps on the first 3 levels,¡± Lacey tried to reassure him. ¡°And remember we named all those mobs, so we¡¯ll get them back.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re talking like you believe there will be a next time,¡± Colt shook his head at her in mock disbelief. ¡°I¡¯m rubbing off on you. You¡¯re normally more pessimistic than this.¡±


    She opened her mouth to answer and then shut it again. He was right. She was optimistic for her. She had faith in their traps. They¡¯d known that they¡¯d punch through at least the first 12 levels, but they¡¯d really upped the deadliness of their traps and scattered them throughout in preparation for the higher levels. If nothing else, they should back out of the dungeon on the sheer need to get some sleep at the rate they were getting past things.


    ¡°What can I say?¡± she punched him lightly. ¡°I¡¯m invested.¡±


    ¡°Maybe they¡¯ll just get tired of the endless puzzles,¡± Colt pointed to the screen where the pattern to the code wasn¡¯t very obvious to the adventurers.


    ¡°That one¡¯s easy,¡± Lacey scoffed, knowing that it was 1-5-11. It was the number of beasts they¡¯d fought on the level. That code opened a box that had the number 44 painted on the bottom of the inside of the box. The box also had some coins scattered in it, so that if they didn¡¯t empty it out, they¡¯d miss the number. There were four other chests. The five chests were different colors. The colors were represented on the door which had 5 panels with the numbers 1-9 on them. ¡°If they can¡¯t get this, they¡¯ll never make it to the maze.¡±


    ¡°Pity,¡± Colt twisted his mouth to hide a smile. ¡°I really wanted to see Chuck and Muck in action.¡±


    ¡°How long have they been in here?¡± Lacey asked, missing and not missing having access to time pieces.


    ¡°Dungeon incursion current duration 3 hours, 5 minutes. 2 hours and 55 minutes remain to clear dungeon before automatic reset,¡± the system answered her question. They¡¯d set the system to verbose with help boxes on. That was not a mistake at all because they learned a lot. Too bad that would go away when they finished the tutorial.


    ¡°No way!¡± Colt laughed.


    ¡°None,¡± Lacey joined him with her own giggles. ¡°They¡¯ll never clear it in time.¡±


    ¡°Okay, okay, but what will happen if the dungeon resets and they¡¯re still in it?¡± Colt asked the system.


    ¡°Puzzles, monsters, traps, and rewards will respawn and must be fought and solved in reverse to exit the dungeon,¡± the system explained.


    ¡°They didn¡¯t have trouble getting through them going this way,¡± Lacey snarked at the system. ¡°Do they have a time limit to exit the dungeon or complete it?¡±


    ¡°Respawn occurs at 6 hours. Automatic dungeon expulsion at 10 hours,¡± the system answered.


    ¡°But what rewards do we get if they time out at 10 hours?¡± Colt shifted from foot to foot.


    ¡°Dungeon expulsion and withdrawal of adventurers are similar for the dungeon and the adventuring party,¡± came the explanation that had Lacey finally feeling like she could make this work if only by boring them to death with puzzles. ¡°Upon expulsion, dungeon gets full complimentary reset and a treasure chest at a level equal with challenge level of final challenge completed by adventuring party.¡±

 Chapter 33.5-ish – Worse Than Fizzbarren

    ¡°This is a disaster,¡± Karma banged her head on the dashboard of the truck. She¡¯d spent the whole trip into the small town complaining about how badly the dungeon masters experiment was going, culminating in this disaster comment.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s not,¡± Cliff protested, pulling into a parking space at the local Red Robin. He¡¯d brought her out here to cheer her up. ¡°You¡¯re exaggerating.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m worse than Fizzbarren,¡± she moaned. ¡°I¡¯m a writing hack and a game designer hack and a ¡­ just a hack hack!¡±


    ¡°I think you¡¯re hacking it just fine,¡± Cliff joked, clanking the engine into park and turning to waggle his eyebrows at her.


    There was a glare in Karma¡¯s eyes, but a pout on her lips that all told Cliff that his joke had fallen flat.


    ¡°And nobody is worse than Fizzbarren,¡± he said more seriously. ¡°And if I hear you say that again, I¡¯m telling Dom on you.¡±


    ¡°Be serious,¡± Karma yanked the handle on the door and carefully swung it open. ¡°He¡¯s too busy playing to care about what¡¯s going on out here.¡±


    ¡°He wouldn¡¯t be, if you told him the truth,¡± Cliff said over the bed of the truck as she slammed the door.


    ¡°Maybe,¡± she sulked.


    ¡°Maybe?¡± Cliff raised his brows at her, casting a glance over her shoulder.


    ¡°What truth haven¡¯t you told me?¡± came Dom¡¯s voice and Karma cringed.


    ¡°I thought you needed the big guns,¡± Cliff pressed his lips together.


    ¡°I thought I was the big gun!¡± Kat protested and Karma whirled.


    ¡°Kat!¡± Karma called out and dashed into her daughter¡¯s arms. The moment Kat arrived, Karma went from being a whatever to being Kat¡¯s mom. Kat rolled her eyes from over her mom¡¯s shoulder.


    ¡°I¡¯m chopped liver,¡± Dom gave a deep chuckle, but they all knew he was teasing. He knew his place was just a tiny crater lower than Kat¡¯s and he was okay with that as long as he got some of Karma when Kat was done with her.


    ¡°Hey babe,¡± Karma gave Dom a loving look that quickly turned to sour as Cliff¡¯s grinning face intruded. ¡°Traitor.¡±


    ¡°Unrepentant,¡± Cliff knocked his shoulders back.


    ¡°What are you both doing here?¡± Karma finally let Kat go to grasp hands with both her daughter and husband.


    ¡°I had a craving for steak fries,¡± Kat professed.


    ¡°I¡¯m not too busy playing to help out with the engine,¡± Dom frowned at her.


    ¡°Fine, whatever,¡± Karma tried to change the subject, nearly skipping to the restaurant doors. ¡°I¡¯m just happy to see you.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m here to find out how the engine is driving you crazy this time,¡± Dom skipped the niceties and drove right to the point.


    They got a booth near the back as Karma avoided Dom¡¯s question. He let it go, but only long enough to put in their order.


    ¡°What¡¯s that bucket of egotistical bolts done now?¡± Dom insisted that they get back to the topic as Karma was trying to get Kat to tell about her pirate adventures.


    ¡°It¡¯s messing with her new dungeon masters because it got all butt-hurt that they could take over something it considers its job,¡± Cliff answered.


    ¡°I could handle that,¡± Karma insisted, giving a smile to the server who was bringing soda. ¡°But we just got another review and the engine is messing with the storyline. It¡¯s confusing readers. They don¡¯t understand what¡¯s going on behind the scenes.¡±


    ¡°The engine is making the storyline worse?¡± Kat dumped an obscene amount of sweetener in the iced tea in front of her. ¡°That seems like it should be against its major programming dictates.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think it knows that it¡¯s what is making the story worse,¡± Cliff tilted his hand back and forth. ¡°It just thinks the story is floundering because it doesn¡¯t have merit.¡±


    ¡°Look,¡± Karma held up her palm. ¡°The hardest part of writing a dungeon-builder book is keeping up the tension. That¡¯s compounded by the fact that it¡¯s also just a game-lit thing where the characters aren¡¯t really trapped in the video game and can leave if they want. The game engine probably believes those are the reasons the story is having trouble.¡±


    ¡°How much trouble?¡± Dom plucked the lemon from his tea and dumped it into Karma¡¯s diet soda.


    ¡°Maybe we should just scrap it and start something else,¡± Kat suggested. ¡°Dad¡¯s got a good plotline in the spy network under the pirate compound. It might make a whole story.¡±


    ¡°We hit Rising Stars this time,¡± Cliff interjected. ¡°It¡¯s more complicated than just scrapping it. If we lose the readers at this level, we could be looking at some backlash magic-wise.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ve hit Rising Stars before,¡± Dom protested, unimpressed.


    ¡°Not the main Rising Stars,¡± Karma¡¯s shoulders slumped. ¡°We¡¯ve been on the smaller satire category of Rising Stars but never the main board. We¡¯ve got over 200 followers.¡±The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.


    ¡°That¡¯s better than Nemesis Quest did,¡± Kat gave a low whistle.


    ¡°And Karma¡¯s fussing because we got what she considers a bad review,¡± Cliff chided, stirring in his own moderate amount of sweetener into his tea.


    ¡°And ratings,¡± Karma poked the table pointedly.


    ¡°So what?¡± Dom shrugged.


    ¡°I¡¯ve never had a rating this low on our books,¡± Karma¡¯s took a long sip of the diet soda to stall. ¡°But the real problem is that I think they may be right. There isn¡¯t much tension and it¡¯s all my fault.¡±


    ¡°I doubt that,¡± Dom narrowed his eyes at Karma who avoided his gaze.


    ¡°The engine is saying that she coddles the players and makes everything too easy for them,¡± Cliff butted in to say. ¡°It thinks that¡¯s why the ratings are tanking and it¡¯s using that as the reasoning for letting it go back to handling the dungeons.¡±


    ¡°Is it right, Mom?¡± Kat asked, leaning back to let the server plop down four baskets of fries.


    ¡°Maybe,¡± Karma hung her head.


    ¡°No,¡± Cliff stated, passing the seasoning salt to Kat.


    ¡°But it could be!¡± Karma protested, snatching the seasoning salt from the pass to use some on her own fries before Kat used the rest of the bottle of seasoning for hers.


    ¡°So, coddle them less,¡± Kat asserted, taking the seasoning salt from Karma. ¡°That¡¯s what you normally do. You try something their way until it fails and then you know it wasn¡¯t your fault.¡±


    ¡°If I coddle them any less, they¡¯ll quit,¡± Karma dunked her fry into the campfire sauce with enough force to break it in two.


    ¡°She¡¯s right,¡± Cliff explained, and they took the time to tell them what had been happening in game.


    ¡°The engine tossed a group of 5 level 29 NPCs into the dungeon when it was only level 11?¡± Kat wiped burger juice off her hands and reached for a third napkin. ¡°That¡¯s crazy!¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re hanging on, but it¡¯s only a matter of time,¡± Karma squeezed a fourth lemon wedge into her fourth soda refill.


    ¡°Two minutes between incursions,¡± Cliff huffed out, leaning back. ¡°They barely have the time to set another couple of drawings into the pedestal before the group is right back in there.¡±


    ¡°At least the dungeon resets for free between time-outs,¡± Kat waved a sauce-coated fry without a drip.


    ¡°Yeah, but now the engine is making the NPCs level up their puzzle skills so that the NPCs can get through faster,¡± Cliff poked a fry at Kat, with a little more dripping. He hadn¡¯t been practicing his dexterity skills in the dungeon as much as Kat did.


    ¡°That¡¯s not the worst of it,¡± Karma wiped at Cliff¡¯s drip on the table. ¡°The worst of it is that the NPC guild sent a few groups to the new dungeon after the dungeon killed off that first foray. The engine said that it was only logical.¡±


    ¡°What for?¡± Dom asked, waving down the waiter for another refill on sodas.


    ¡°One,¡± Cliff ticked off the points on his meaty fingers. ¡°They want back ups in case anyone dies in the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°And two,¡± Karma continued on her own fingers, ¡°they are looking for Hughe, who has decided to join in this farce of a fight because the guild offered him extra equipment and leveling if he helps the guild destroy the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°After you took him to the roadhouse?¡± Kat was indignant. ¡°We need better screening protocols.¡±


    ¡°Another of my mistakes,¡± Karma started to sulk.


    ¡°That¡¯s not what I meant,¡± Kat patted Karma¡¯s arm and leaned her head on Karma¡¯s shoulder.


    ¡°Hughe says that since we cast him as the villain of the story, he should play the part,¡± Cliff rested forward with his elbows on the table.


    ¡°And that¡¯s not the worst of it,¡± Karma added. ¡°Colt and Lacey have no idea that Hughe could be used against them.¡±


    ¡°If they can handle a full group of level 29 NPCs, why worry about a dinky little moron like Hughe?¡± Dom handed glasses to the waiter to fill.


    They never worried about their conversations being overheard and misunderstood at the local Red Robin. They came to this location a lot and the staff knew them as writers. The staff often read their books, or at least they claimed to have read them to get better tips. Some of the staff had known Fizzbarren too, so their family was just another wacky replacement for the old coot. Dom tipped better, so no one complained, at least not to their faces.


    ¡°The issue is that the NPCs don¡¯t remember the puzzles or traps or even the layout, but Hughe does,¡± Karma crumpled up a wrapper with more force than necessary.


    ¡°This sounds like there¡¯s plenty of tension,¡± Kat opened up three more packets of pink sweetener to dump in her fresh glass of tea.


    ¡°There is, but it¡¯s all coming across so subtly,¡± Karma rolled her eyes. ¡°The readers don¡¯t know that the NPCs are bringing in Hughe. They don¡¯t know the guild has more backup players if the dungeon masters manage to kill someone. They don¡¯t know that the engine is determined to kill them off so it can have control of dungeons back, and I think they may not even know that this is all a story machine.¡±


    ¡°But they opted in at the end of Nemesis Quest,¡± Kat rolled her eyes. ¡°They have to know.¡±


    ¡°No one reads that fine print,¡± Cliff brushed his hands off over his plate and still managed to get crumbs everywhere but the plate.


    ¡°I¡¯m almost positive that Lacey doesn¡¯t know, but I¡¯m just so in love with how much she wants the dungeon,¡± Karma¡¯s eyes squinted like she could see them.


    ¡°Colt knows,¡± Cliff nodded his head.


    ¡°Probably, but he¡¯s homesick and the tutorial that the engine made up is insane,¡± Karma exclaimed. ¡°I thought if they could at least get out of the tutorial, I could get them a trip home and let them know that they are making money above and beyond the prize money. Lacey¡¯s pretty sure that their situation outside the game is back to the gloomy apartment with probably no jobs because of how long they¡¯ve been gone. She doesn¡¯t know.¡±


    ¡°But you think Colt does?¡± Dom stopped her rant with a raised hand.


    ¡°Maybe some of it,¡± Karma hedged. ¡°It¡¯s just so hard to tell.¡±


    ¡°Why hasn¡¯t he told Lacey?¡± Kat wadded up her napkin and dumped it into an empty fry basket.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Karma answered.


    ¡°I think he¡¯s not sure and doesn¡¯t want to jinx anything,¡± Cliff suggested.


    ¡°Whatever the case is,¡± Karma piled the fry trays up just to keep her hands busy, ¡°I want them to keep this up, but now the NPCs are getting better at puzzles and Hughe¡¯s going to destroy everything. It just all seems so inevitable that the dungeon is going to fall.¡±


    ¡°Then let it happen,¡± Dom draped his arm over the back of the booth.


    ¡°They deserve better than that,¡± Cliff protested with Kat¡¯s emphatic nod of agreement.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Karma asked Dom.


    ¡°She¡¯s not just going to let them die, Dad,¡± Kat tossed a dirty napkin at him across the table.


    ¡°I know you don¡¯t want to hear it, but maybe you should,¡± Dom leaned forward, then thought better of it and leaned back again. ¡°It¡¯s not the worst idea. You dumped them in a dungeon with no instructions.¡±


    ¡°That wasn¡¯t my fault,¡± Karma groused, fiddling with a straw wrapper.


    ¡°I¡¯m not saying it was,¡± Dom protested softly, ¡°but it¡¯s done, and they didn¡¯t really have a chance this time around. Let them die and start over.¡±


    ¡°But they¡¯d reboot as adventurers,¡± Kat argued, threatening to poke his stomach.


    ¡°That might help them next time,¡± Dom scowled at Kat, batting her hand away with his own increased dexterity. ¡°They don¡¯t even know what the world is like outside the dungeon. I can¡¯t imagine designing a dungeon for a world where I haven¡¯t even played in it. It would be like DMing in a DnD campaign without ever having played the game, not to mention that their rulebooks were fubarred from the start.¡±


    ¡°It would blow up the book!¡± Kat hissed at him. ¡°Mom did that in Nemesis Quest when I died, and it didn¡¯t help the reviews. It just made them hate me.¡±


    ¡°The readers would lynch me,¡± Karma protested, but his idea had taken hold on her.


    ¡°Would they?¡± Dom arched a brow at her.

 Chapter 34 – Starving Artists

    ¡°It¡¯s torture,¡± Lacey moaned, her head lolling back.


    ¡°I can¡¯t take anymore,¡± Colt whimpered next to her, his hands limp over the edge of their table. He¡¯d collapsed in a heap, laid out like a sacrifice for their Aztec temple, over the whole table.


    ¡°How much longer?¡± Lacey asked the system, blinking back the grit of her eyes to stare at the latest room the party had reached.


    ¡°Dungeon expulsion scheduled for 23 minutes,¡± the system replied ruthlessly. The party had chosen to try to push through the dungeon, rather than exit before the upper floors were repopulated.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to make it,¡± Colt¡¯s weak proclamation was almost drowned out by his grumbling stomach. ¡°There should be some kind of exception for using the pedestal to order food. This in inhumane.¡± It wasn¡¯t the first time he¡¯d said it, but the system was still locked out of any purchases. They had all split the last of Ginger¡¯s stash of cold, dried meat on a stick five hours before and only the little goblin seemed to be not suffering.


    ¡°We can do this, Colt,¡± Lacey reassured him. ¡°It¡¯s not much worse than fast Sunday at your church.¡±


    (Lacey) Constitution +1


    ¡°I cheated,¡± Colt grunted out. ¡°I¡¯ll admit it. I had a stash. This is my punishment for that, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll stock up on some energy bars or something for the next one,¡± Lacey tried to chuckle, but her stomach had past growling and just hurt.


    ¡°Maybe they¡¯ll break through and kill us so I can get food,¡± Colt kicked his feet that hung off the end of the table.


    ¡°They haven¡¯t even gotten to the Manchester room,¡± Lacey shook her head. That room was on level 8. They would time out and everyone but the fighter knew it. It wasn¡¯t that the mobs were hard. The group was well-seasoned and fought as a good team. They were beating level 15 beetles very quickly, but the traps and puzzles were wearing them down. The bard had almost died twice on traps, even though the thief was finding a lot of them.


    Colt sat up quickly to look at her. ¡°I have an idea! You can kill me with your dagger. I¡¯ll bring back mom¡¯s apple pie, the one with the crumble crust made with real butter. And a sandwich. You know the ones you like with the thick slices of ham?¡±


    ¡°Oh, stop, Colt, please, I¡¯m dying already here,¡± Lacey rolled her eyes and plopped down in the chair next to the pedestal so that she could rest her head against the side of it.


    ¡°I¡¯d bring you a carton of Chunky Monkey, but it¡¯d melt before I got back for sure,¡± Colt went on, ignoring her pleas, lost in his fantasy.


    ¡°If you don¡¯t stop I really will kill you,¡± Lacey growled, throwing her dagger at the table only to have it actually stick in the side of it very near Colt¡¯s draped arm.


    (Lacey) Dexterity +1


    ¡°Lace!¡± Colt jolted. ¡°I was just kidding, sheesh.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t blame me,¡± Lacey whined out, her temper just as short as his after 10 hours of this dungeon incursion. ¡°I¡¯ve never been able to hit anything before and I wasn¡¯t trying to now.¡±


    ¡°Probably why you hit me,¡± Colt muttered, laying back down, ignoring the dagger two inches from his growling stomach. ¡°How much longer system?¡±


    ¡°Dungeon expulsion scheduled for 17 minutes,¡± the system replied, completely unconcerned by the fact that Colt had been asking the question every few minutes for the past 2 hours.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.


    ¡°17 minutes?!?!¡± Colt complained like he was Lacey on two hours of sleep. Not that either of them had slept either. They were both tired and starving. They hadn¡¯t slept for at least 6 hours before the incursion, and they were wearing thin on tolerance.


    ¡°Cripes, Colt!¡± Lacey struck her fist on the pedestal. ¡°Give it up. The lights will change, and we will both order tons of food and get a good night¡¯s sleep, but if you ask the system again for a time check, I¡¯m going to lose my mind.¡±


    ¡°At least you can draw,¡± Colt rolled his eyes back toward the floor. ¡°Draw us a meal like mom used to make, will you? So we can order it up the instant the dungeon turns blue.¡±


    ¡°I already did, Colt,¡± Lacey reminded him, watching the idiot party punch in the wrong number again on the puzzle door of the level they¡¯d been in for half an hour. ¡°Two hours ago, and an hour later, both your favorite meals and mine. We are set to drop those papers and order it no matter the cost, but we still have to wait for the bozos to go away.¡±


    ¡°System,¡± Colt started again.


    ¡°Don¡¯t do it Colt,¡± Lacey warned him.


    ¡°I was going to ask it to read out the rules for monster creation,¡± Colt lied.


    ¡°No you weren¡¯t,¡± Lacey glared at him.


    ¡°The tech tree for rubber bands?¡± Colt tried.


    ¡°No you weren¡¯t,¡± Lacey repeated.


    ¡°The composition subtree of magnets?¡± Colt teased her, rolling over to stare at her intently.


    ¡°Then ask any of those things, but if you ask for the time before expulsion again, I¡¯m going to light your hair on fire in your sleep.¡±


    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t,¡± he stated, but his frown said he wasn¡¯t sure.


    (Lacey) Intimidation +1


    ¡°Would,¡± Lacey raised a brow, wondering where she got the energy.


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Would.¡±


    ¡°System, how long would it take to read out the tech tree on magnets and would that be longer than it would take for the bozos to be expelled from the dungeon?¡± Colt asked, but he was moving before Lacey even got up.


    (Colt) Dexterity +1


    He launched himself into her bunk and then out of it when she chased him all the way up there. There was only so much space in the control room, but Colt managed to keep out of her reach by dashing around the table until she went over it instead of around as he¡¯d expected. He might have been bigger than Lacey, but he was quick for his size. It was the result of brothers and sisters that resented him being treated so much better than them because he was the youngest. How he ducked under the table as she went over was a mystery, but it did pass the time.


    (Colt) Dexterity +2


    ¡°Incursion defeated with no casualties,¡± the system started to say, freezing them both just as Lacey was poised to sink her teeth into Colt¡¯s calf as he dragged her across the room to vault over the table with or without her attached.


    (Colt) Strength +1


    They didn¡¯t hear what else the system said as they scrambled for the drawings that had floated to the floor sometime during their tussle. They dropped them both at the same time, Lacey¡¯s favorite feast on the bottom by only a centimeter.


    ¡°System accepts new drawing,¡± the system was blathering on again, not that they were listening.


    ¡°System, order both sets of food on the papers provided,¡± they fumbled over each other to say.


    Food started materializing, with Lacey and Colt grabbing stuff as fast as their fists could snatch it. They darted each dish to the table, nibbles and moans the only sounds except for the announcement of their awards, which they completely ignored. Ginger, having come out from her hiding place under the bed, quickly darted out of the room to order some worker goblins to retrieve their treasure chest, but she was back so quickly, they almost didn¡¯t know she¡¯d done it.


    When they were half done, the table was almost overloaded with their food order. It wasn¡¯t done materializing things when the dungeon pulsed an angry red and the food just materialized in a ring around the pedestal. Colt and Lacey skid to a stop within inches of crashing into it all.


    (Lacey) Dexterity +1


    (Colt) Dexterity +1


    ¡°What the hell now?¡± Lacey grumbled, quickly swallowing a twice-baked potato skin that she¡¯d stuffed in her mouth. It hadn¡¯t been as good as Colt¡¯s mom¡¯s cooking, but it was good.


    ¡°I mm-oh,¡± Colt didn¡¯t say around a mouth stuffed full of a whole roll that he hadn¡¯t even stopped to butter.


    Ginger was moving food from the ring around the pedestal as Lacey was trying to find a path to look at the display so she could find out what had happened. The table was filled up, but somehow Ginger found space for most of it, sniffing it curiously as she moved both feasts worth of food. Colt sat at the table and snagged a handful of fried cheese sticks, alternately biting and blowing on each one.


    ¡°You¡¯re not going to believe this,¡± Lacey said, punctuating it with a whistle. ¡°They walked back into the dungeon.¡±


    Colt swallowed to say, ¡°System, where do the adventurers get expelled to on a time out?¡±


    ¡°Adventurers are expelled to a safe area just outside the dungeon,¡± the system replied, and Lacey gave out a long groan.


    Colt eyed the food on the table, which would normally be enough for his family of ten and still provide some leftovers. ¡°We didn¡¯t order enough.¡±

 Chapter 35 – If You Give an Adventurer Something to Grind

    The days passed in a series of these incursions, most of which were so close together that Lacey and Colt barely had time to order basic supplies and head out into the dungeon so they could use the water cavern and collect their treasures before they returned to the control room to wait out the frustrated NPC group. There were times when the party slept inside the dungeon, setting watches. After a little too long, Lacey and Colt did the same. The dungeon automatically reset every time, so the party didn¡¯t get any deeper each time.


    They opened their treasure chests to find things that helped them along their tech trees. Lacey got a magnet and rubber bands. Whenever they got tech goals from chests, they got the bonus of discovery for it too. Not only were these incursions pushing them up in levels, they were opening up creative options that would make them even deadlier if they could ever get the time to implement anything. They were already far beyond the sticks and rocks needed to make a cooking fire, but they did not have a cooking fire in their control room.


    As far as the party was concerned, they leveled up at almost half the speed of the dungeon, probably because they were ranked so high above it. The dungeon had leveled twice, while the adventurers had only leveled once each. They could summon higher mobs, but they had to do it in the limited window the adventurers allowed them between incursions. It seemed like the dungeon got far more out of the incursions than it lost, and Lacey and Colt spent some of the time speculating on why the adventurers would keep doing it.


    ¡°I think I get it,¡± Lacey snapped her fingers.


    ¡°Get what?¡± Colt asked. It had been 4 days straight of incursions with almost no time between them.


    ¡°Why they keep coming at the dungeon,¡± Lacey explained, looking up from yet another drawing of a monster that they wanted to create.


    ¡°We are leveling up, but they are too,¡± Colt tossed a piece of popcorn in the air and tried to catch it with his mouth, tilting his chair back crazily to reach it.


    ¡°But if a dungeon was made up mostly of tiered levels of monsters, this would make sense,¡± Lacey countered, waving her pencil in a circle. ¡°The dungeon might respawn, but it doesn¡¯t have time to level up its rooms or the minions in them. They would just keep striking at it until their levels outmatched the dungeon¡¯s monsters.¡±


    (Lacey) Perception +1


    ¡°That sounds too smart,¡± Colt shook his head and then tossed another piece that he missed again. ¡°These guys can¡¯t even get through 9<sup>th</sup> level each and every time.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but they don¡¯t know why they aren¡¯t getting through it because they don¡¯t remember,¡± Lacey posited the idea. ¡°So they probably believe that each time they are getting a little farther, but in our dungeon their level doesn¡¯t matter. They aren¡¯t getting through it quicker just because they can kill mobs faster.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t think they¡¯re doing it just to level up?¡± Colt challenged, setting down the bowl of popcorn. They had stacks and stacks of supplies laid up so that they wouldn¡¯t starve again. Whatever they ordered in the two minutes between incursions would complete just as their first meals had, so Lacey and Colt planned ahead a few times just to be safe. Once they¡¯d figured the timing out, they¡¯d begun starting the incursion outside their little control room to battle the boredom.


    ¡°Nah,¡± Lacey tapped her pencil on her chin. ¡°They¡¯d sleep outside if they were just using the dungeon to level up. They want to keep us from putting out new monsters.¡±


    (Lacey) Perception +1


    ¡°Still sounds too smart for an average NPC,¡± Colt countered.


    ¡°Not if it¡¯s a standard strategy that they pass on to fellow guildmates or even teach in school or something.¡±


    ¡°NPC school?¡± Colt chuckled, but he was following her thought process. ¡°So, because they don¡¯t remember that it¡¯s the puzzles causing their failure and they don¡¯t remember the actual puzzles so they just keep doing badly at them, you think they are spinning their wheels.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey nodded. ¡°It makes sense. I¡¯d do it that way. If I had long enough to think about it.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re leveling faster than them,¡± Colt picked up one of her pencils and started to try to balance it on a single finger. ¡°We could just use our two minutes to summon 15 of our highest mobs onto their first room and be done with this.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think they think of it that way,¡± Lacey replied to that idea. ¡°They think the dungeon can¡¯t adapt that quickly. I mean, maybe they do.¡±


    ¡°Not that I¡¯d want to kill them off since we¡¯re getting a ton of treasure, bonuses, and experience for levels from all this,¡± Colt fumbled the pencil and barely caught it before it hit the floor.


    (Colt) Dexterity +1


    ¡°Me neither, actually,¡± Lacey admitted reluctantly. ¡°Not that this process isn¡¯t annoying as hell.¡±Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.


    ¡°You don¡¯t think maybe they¡¯re lulling us into a sense of complacency, do you?¡± Colt suggested.


    (Colt) Intelligence +1


    ¡°I hadn¡¯t thought of that,¡± Lacey frowned, and tucked the brown pencil between her teeth as she scribbled with another color.


    ¡°We should set up more levels,¡± Colt suggested. ¡°We could draw them and drop them fast enough in the 2-minute window. For every incursion, we¡¯d get a new room, at least. We have the credits for it. And if we start now, then if they finally do get to a point where they can slide through our puzzles fast enough to get here, we¡¯ll have mobs that have grown up enough to match them.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not a bad idea, but we¡¯ll have to do it around making sure that we have supplies,¡± Lacey tossed her pencil on the table and tore out a page with a simple cat on it.


    (Lacey) Drawing +1


    ¡°You drew a cat?¡± Colt frowned at the picture. The drawing had everything one would need to take care of the pet, including a cat box, food dishes, bags of food and litter, and a cat tree with toys.


    Lacey gave a sigh. ¡°I just want a pet. Dad never let me have one and we¡¯ve never been in an apartment that would allow them.¡± Lacey shoved the paper into the back of the book. ¡°It¡¯s a stupid idea. It¡¯ll have to wait until we can afford the time, and these dungeon incursions don¡¯t allow that. I should have waited and focused on monsters we can train up, like you said.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t mean we couldn¡¯t have some fun too,¡± Colt gave her a smile, but made no move to take the cat. ¡°I don¡¯t suppose you could work up a deck of cards, some dice, or some games?¡±


    ¡°When would we have time?¡± Lacey shrugged and started another drawing on grid paper that would include a battle arena like they had for the beetles, only rigged up so that some of their newer monsters could level up on the newer, higher-leveled beetles.


    ¡°All work and no play makes Lace a snarly person,¡± Colt warned her, his smile warm and relaxed in a way that always amazed Lacey. As uptight and driven as she¡¯d always been, Colt was the opposite.


    ¡°All play and no work makes Colt and Lace dead in a place like this,¡± Lacey tartly refuted his laid-back suggestions.


    (Lacey) Comedy +1


    (Colt) Comedy +1


    ¡°What¡¯s the worst that could happen?¡± Colt challenged her. ¡°We could die, sure, but this is a game world. We¡¯d just go home like the adventurers did. We take a break for a few days and then come back and start over again.¡±


    ¡°It just doesn¡¯t feel like it could be that easy, Colt,¡± Lacey shook her head. ¡°The system is clear that we¡¯d lose this dungeon. We¡¯ve worked so hard on it. It¡¯s good, I know it is. Maybe we could start over and do better, but it feels like a cheat.¡±


    ¡°System,¡± Colt called to it. ¡°What happens to us if this dungeon is completely wiped, and we die here?¡±


    ¡°Dungeon masters would be respawned after a time-out period,¡± it said.


    ¡°See? No biggie,¡± Colt tried to reassure her, but it felt off.


    ¡°And where would we respawn?¡± Lacey asked it.


    ¡°You would respawn in the nearest level one zone as adventurers,¡± the system answered.


    ¡°Wait, we¡¯d be players instead of owning a dungeon,¡± Colt walked to the pedestal to read the help page more carefully. ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound right.¡±


    ¡°Sounds right to me,¡± Lacey clucked her tongue and bent over her drawing with more fervor. She let him read as she drew.


    ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± Colt was frowning at the display. ¡°In order to be dungeon masters again, we¡¯d have to take over the dungeon again. That sucks.¡±


    ¡°Agreed,¡± Lacey nodded.


    ¡°I just thought we¡¯d head home like Helluna said she did,¡± Colt flicked aside screens. The good part of all the downtime during excursions was that there was plenty of time to read. ¡°Then we¡¯d come back and rebuild, and we¡¯d be even better the second time around. It just seems kind of harsh is all.¡±


    ¡°Colt, you okay?¡± Lacey asked after a few moments of silence where Colt seemed lost in thought.


    ¡°Of course,¡± he smiled, but he didn¡¯t sound okay. She knew him better than that.


    ¡°What¡¯s got you spooked?¡± Lacey poked, still intent on her schematic as well.


    ¡°I just thought I¡¯d be able to go home once in a while is all,¡± he admitted softly, almost as if saying it quietly would make it less awful. ¡°You think Mom¡¯s worried?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, Colt,¡± Lacey stopped scribbling to watch his face. ¡°I¡¯m thinking maybe ¡­ I don¡¯t know Colt.¡± She was looking for something to soothe him but came up empty.


    ¡°System,¡± Colt called out to it again. ¡°Can I go home?¡±


    ¡°Home vouchers can be bought or earned in quest treasure chests,¡± the system replied, and they both raised eyebrows at that.


    ¡°They¡¯ve got to be outrageously expensive, right?¡± Lacey set down her drawing to go stand with him at the pedestal, where the system had brought up the store that hadn¡¯t been available before because of the tutorial training wheels. If they thought of something that existed in the system and asked about it, it would be revealed whether it was inside or outside of the tutorial guidelines.


    ¡°Not really, but we don¡¯t have access until we complete the stupid tutorial,¡± Colt complained, and it was so uncharacteristic that Lacey was moved.


    ¡°How much more do we need to do that?¡±


    ¡°We have exactly 39 more tasks, most of which are nearly impossible as long as the bozos are trying to clear the dungeon,¡± Colt brought up the list. ¡°That¡¯s down from over a hundred that we started with.¡±


    ¡°If they keep this up too long, we¡¯ll drop them into the maze on the first level with wandering mobs fresh out of the battle arena I¡¯m designing,¡± Lacey patted him on the shoulder casually, but her heart hurt for him. There hadn¡¯t been a weekend in a long time that they¡¯d missed dinner at his mom¡¯s.


    ¡°If they wipe, they¡¯ll try something new,¡± Colt took a deep breath and let it out slowly. ¡°I¡¯ll be okay. I just miss them is all.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d try dying with you if you want,¡± Lacey offered, though it hurt to even think of losing the dungeon. Sure, they could be regular players and have fun, but the dungeon felt more like home to her than any she¡¯d had growing up. A part of her just felt like this was it for her. This was the dream come true on crack.


    ¡°Me being homesick isn¡¯t a good enough reason to give up on this,¡± Colt put a heavy hand on her shoulder, and she could see the resolve form in his eyes. ¡°It isn¡¯t just your dream come true, Lace. It¡¯s mine too. Always has been, even if I didn¡¯t know it. I¡¯ll get home soon enough. Until then, let¡¯s build the most kicking ass dungeon they¡¯ve ever seen.¡±


    ¡°We already have a pretty good start,¡± Lacey grinned at him.


    ¡°Good?¡± Colt demanded. ¡°It¡¯s more than good. It¡¯s holding off cascading incursions of a team that started out over 3 times our level. I¡¯d say we¡¯re the badasses of dungeoneers.¡±


    ¡°What level are our idiots at?¡± Lacey gave Colt a side-eyed look, but she let it go.


    ¡°I think they¡¯re fighting off the cats just before the fourth puzzle trap room,¡± Colt answered her.

 Chapter 36 – A War of Attrition

    ¡°What level did they get to during the last incursion?¡± Colt asked, his head bent over the display screens.


    ¡°You were the one watching,¡± Lacey bent over her newest creations of dungeon levels.  The level of detail required to make the maps was taking more effort and time than her doodling from before.  ¡°I¡¯m drawing maps.¡±


    (Lacey) Drawing +2


    ¡°It¡¯s just that I think they got a little further this time,¡± Colt squinted at the screen as the lights in the room changed from red to blue.


    (Colt) Perception +1


    ¡°It varies, doesn¡¯t it?¡± Lacey fussed at the borders of another maze like the Aztec Tomb.


    ¡°But it was going up and down,¡± Colt dropped another stack of creations into the pedestal.  ¡°It seems to be trending toward them getting further each time.¡±


    ¡°How can that be?¡± Lacey finally looked up.  ¡°If they¡¯re forgetting each time, how are they still getting better at it?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure it¡¯s nothing, but we should add some more levels, just in case,¡± Colt suggested, trying to paste on a smile.  He pressed the option to create the new levels beside the Aztec Tomb.  Now that Lacey was working on more complex options, she was barely making three new levels per incursion, and that was when she wasn¡¯t sleeping.


    ¡°That¡¯s what I¡¯m working on,¡± Lacey grumped, getting up to stretch and pick up her drawing book.  ¡°As long as they haven¡¯t gotten to the Aztec Tomb yet, I think we¡¯ll be okay.¡±


    ¡°We keep moving it down under the new levels with the higher mobs we can create,¡± Colt commented.  ¡°If it was at the first place we put it, they¡¯d have blown through it.¡±


    Colt busied himself moving toward the exit of their control room, making sure he had all he needed.  Lacey was right behind him as they both left the control room just as the dungeon turned to red.  It was the only time that they could get out of the room.


    ¡°I just have this gut feeling like they¡¯re setting us up for something,¡± Colt called over his shoulder as they went down the stairs to the water cavern.


    (Colt) Perception +1


    ¡°I¡¯m normally the pessimistic one,¡± Lacey teased him.


    ¡°It¡¯s like they¡¯re stalling,¡± Colt propped the door open with a stone, more of a superstitious move than because it might lock against them.


    Lacey was considering the idea as she washed up and got changed.  Colt didn¡¯t get morose like this, but maybe the repetition was wearing on him.  He often thought that most people were smarter than they actually were.  Maybe the NPCs hadn¡¯t gone against competent or motivated adversaries.  This systematic method of cascading attacks probably worked most of the time.


    (Lacey) Perception +1


    ¡°If we could get out of the tutorial, we could summon the pedestal to any room in the dungeon, as long as no adventurers were on that level,¡± Colt took up the conversation as if they hadn¡¯t spend half an hour doing their own thing.  ¡°I¡¯d just feel better about staying out of the control room for longer if I could check that they weren¡¯t up to any tricks or something.¡±


    ¡°I guess I got used to them doing the same thing each time,¡± Lacey admitted, toweling her hair dry with a coarse, but clean, blanket.  ¡°They¡¯re NPCs.  Do you think they have the creativity to deviate?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t say stuff like that,¡± Colt gave her a look as he approached the stairs back to the control room.  ¡°I still think something is listening to us and it isn¡¯t as machine-like as you think it might be.¡±


    (Colt) Perception +1


    ¡°I¡¯m going to check out the new levels before I go back in, but I also need some sleep,¡± Lacey stopped at the foot of the stairs.


    ¡°Ok,¡± Colt paused, but Lacey could tell that he wanted to rush back to check the pedestal.  ¡°Just let¡¯s not get complacent.¡±


    ¡°Are you ready to splurge our credits and dump as many of our highest levels in the first room yet?¡± Lacey challenged him.


    ¡°I¡¯m still thinking that might backfire because if we don¡¯t kill them all then the dungeon doesn¡¯t reset, and we¡¯ve lost the credits we spent on those mobs,¡± Colt shook his head.


    ¡°But they¡¯ll have lost whomever we manage to kill,¡± Lacey countered, more to see both sides than because she was ready to go all in like that with the credits.  They¡¯d been saving up a little stockpile to try that out.


    (Lacey) Intelligence +1


    ¡°I think we should wait until we¡¯re closer to their levels,¡± Colt worried the idea around in his skull like he was playing pinball with it.


    (Colt) Intelligence +1


    ¡°We¡¯re at 19 now,¡± Lacey worked the numbers.


    ¡°They¡¯re at 32,¡± Colt shook his head again.  ¡°It¡¯s still too big of a gap.  When we can dump fifty mobs in there that are only 3 or 4 levels below them, maybe.¡±


    ¡°Got it,¡± Lacey gave him a smile and a salute as she headed to the other stair that would take her up to goblin lair side of the dungeon.  ¡°I¡¯m thinking on it.¡±


    <hr>


    ¡°Lacey,¡± Colt shook her awake, again.


    ¡°What?¡± she muttered groggily, knowing that she hadn¡¯t gotten enough sleep.


    ¡°Lacey, wake up,¡± Colt¡¯s tone woke her quicker, but that didn¡¯t make her more amiable.


    ¡°Whaaaaa-aat?¡± she whined out, throwing her feet over the edge of the top bunk.


    ¡°They got to the maze,¡± Colt replied, his tone clipped.


    ¡°What!?!?!?¡± Lacey was suddenly wide awake.


    ¡°They got to the Aztec Tomb,¡± Colt told her, handing her boots up to her.  ¡°We have another five copies of it now, but I¡¯m not sure we can keep up.¡±


    ¡°How?!¡± Lacey scrambled down the rough wooden ladder, swearing at yet another splinter.You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    ¡°I missed it,¡± Colt ran his hand through his hair and waved her to the pedestal.  ¡°I wasn¡¯t paying attention well enough, and they dressed him up like the bard.  I just didn¡¯t check the levels.¡±


    ¡°You aren¡¯t making sense,¡± Lacey skidded to a stop by the pedestal, still stomping one foot into one of her boots.


    (Lacey) Dexterity +2


    ¡°They brought in Hughe,¡± Colt gritted out, watching over her shoulder.  He did a reverse pinch to zoom in on the person in question.    ¡°He looks a lot like the bard, but,¡± and he tapped the screen.


    ¡°Fighter, level 8,¡± the system responded.  A part of Lacey¡¯s mind scoffed at the tiny level number.  They¡¯d been in this cascading fight for what had to be a blur of a few weeks, and they¡¯d leveled all the way up to 22.  Hughe had only gotten to level 8?  Then Lacey¡¯s mind spun to catch up.


    ¡°But Hughe remembers the dungeon,¡± Lacey caught up faster.  ¡°I mean, he can¡¯t remember this dungeon, but he¡¯ll remember¡­¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think this is his first time through,¡± Colt grunted as they watched Hughe point to another trap along the route the party was taking.  ¡°He knows the layout even though its different from when he was here.  I didn¡¯t notice because they weren¡¯t throwing him around this time.¡±


    (Colt) Perception +1


    ¡°They aren¡¯t quite to the Tomb yet, but they¡¯re close enough for this to be uncomfortable,¡± Lacey admitted.  ¡°And they¡¯ve never gotten this far before, so the Tomb will slow them down.¡±  Every pause in the incursions was another twenty mobs sent into the Tomb to buff it up and they weren¡¯t bothering with the beetles that died too quickly.  They now had a dozen different monsters in that dungeon that were growing up the hard way by fighting over territory with each other.  Okay, so maybe their fur-covered dragons were the size of fire lizards, but they breathed fire and acid or even ice depending on their colors.  All of the final level was a series of 5 versions of the Aztec Tomb, each littered with brand new puzzles and traps and creature sets of mobs.  The walls weren¡¯t different except for a few that Colt changed around to mess with the flow.  Was it enough?


    ¡°It will slow them down this time through,¡± Colt agreed, but rushed on, ¡°but each time, he¡¯s going to get through the puzzles and traps faster because he¡¯s already learned them.  And the rest of the party are getting better at the puzzles even without Hughe¡¯s help.¡±


    ¡°We can rearrange the Tombs so that they don¡¯t know which maze they¡¯re in, but you¡¯re right.  Between them getting better at the new puzzles and Hughe giving them the answers to all the old puzzles, we might be sunk,¡± Lacey grasped the gravity, and her mind leapt to possibilities.


    ¡°We need more dungeon levels,¡± Colt threw his hands up.


    ¡°We¡¯re already using all we make to increase the levels,¡± Lacey¡¯s complaint was accompanied by pacing.  She longed to reach for her drawing book, but it was only a band-aid, not a cure.  It was her third book.  They¡¯d had to order new ones.  She could have kicked herself for wasting all that time drawing useless things like the cat that they¡¯d promised themselves they¡¯d get once the incursions stopped.


    ¡°Is the menagerie up to par, yet?¡± Colt asked, knowing the answer but needing to ask anyway.  They were listing their assets, just like he always did.  The menagerie was their new still bomb of releasing an army of their highest levels at them at the very beginning, but it wasn¡¯t ready yet.


    (Colt) Intelligence +1


    ¡°We¡¯re level 22 to their 34 and our highest mobs are level 27,¡± Lacey answered anyway.  ¡°We wouldn¡¯t kill many of them even with the 58 mobs we¡¯ve saved up so far.¡±


    ¡°We could just copy and paste a bunch of levels that we already have done,¡± Colt suggested.  ¡°It could be cheaper and faster than buying new ones.¡±


    ¡°The only level that would work with is the menagerie and it¡¯s too expensive.  Even if we copied and pasted the older levels to run them out of time, they can stomp through the levels too fast and we¡¯re running out of new puzzle combinations,¡± Lacey shook her head.  ¡°They¡¯d rip through them like rice paper.  We can change the variables on them, but how do we keep up when they plow through the mobs like paper mach¨¦ too?¡±


    ¡°I never thought I¡¯d hear either of us say we¡¯d run out of puzzles,¡± Colt said softly.


    ¡°I¡¯ve run out of puzzles I can throw together in a hurry with the current technology,¡± Lacey hedged his comment with more bravado than she felt.


    ¡°We don¡¯t have time to change the variables using the pedestal,¡± Colt threw his hands up.  ¡°In the two minutes, we could only change a few of them anyway.¡±


    ¡°We could change them manually,¡± Lacey considered, her finger up.  ¡°As long as we kept ahead of them by a level or two, we could make the changes.¡±


    (Lacey) Intelligence +1


    ¡°And miss whatever new stunt they pull?¡± Colt blew out a breath of frustration, his frustrated hand-waving now focused on the pedestal and its limitations.


    ¡°I could kidnap Hughe,¡± Lacey tried and saw Colt flicker with hope.


    ¡°Yea, no¡­¡± Colt¡¯s hope dimmed.  ¡°He¡¯d just be expelled at the same time to the same place the rest of them are.¡±


    ¡°We can kill Hughe?¡± Lacey suggested.


    ¡°Then he¡¯d be locked out for, what?  16 hours?¡± Colt nodded, liking the idea.


    ¡°It would only buy us an extra round,¡± Lacey worried, but it was still the best idea so far.  ¡°And they¡¯d probably just sleep in the dungeon for that cycle.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s worth a try,¡± Colt crossed his arms over his chest.  ¡°Which one of us gets to do it?¡±


    ¡°Whoever comes up with the best way to do it?¡± Lacey smiled slowly.


    ¡°You win,¡± Colt chuckled.  ¡°Are you sure your time isn¡¯t better served drawing?¡±


    ¡°You can draw more levels of the Aztec Tomb as easily as I could,¡± Lacey challenged him.  ¡°It¡¯s grid paper.  Make a maze.  Those will take the longest for the adventurers to figure out.  And make sure that they have the longest route if they make all right turns.  That¡¯s the method of maze solving that they¡¯ve been using since we got Muck to eat their string.¡±


    ¡°I doubt that it¡¯s half as easy as you make it look,¡± Colt shrugged.


    ¡°I¡¯d need you to watch them for the best time to grab him,¡± Lacey returned to the table to strap on her dagger.  They¡¯d started sleeping in the leather armor, which was a thing one had to get used to, for sure.


    ¡°You can¡¯t go yet,¡± Colt eyed her dagger sheaths, strappy thing, which had been updated with a row of daggers.  Lacey had spent a little time practicing with throwing them, but she had a moment of self-doubt.  ¡°And take a few of Adam¡¯s guys with you.¡±


    ¡°That makes sense,¡± Lacey gave him a grateful smile.  ¡°How long until they time out?¡±


    ¡°A little less than an hour,¡± Colt answered her, his eyes back on the screen.


    ¡°They aren¡¯t getting through the Tomb quickly, especially not the first time,¡± Lacey squeezed in next to Colt to watch the screen for a moment.  The party had gotten through the first corridor, with the rogue slowly dismantling 7 traps before they hit the first dead end.  Even with Chuck and Muck as great mobs for the floor, they were still only level 18 in that instance of the Tomb, and just couldn¡¯t do enough damage even when they caught the adventurers.


    ¡°You draw,¡± Colt pointed to the table and her book.  ¡°I¡¯ll keep you updated.¡±


    ¡°There has to be a way to design a trap or puzzle to automatically randomize,¡± Lacey thought to herself out loud.  ¡°Yeah, I¡¯ll draw.  Maybe if I¡­¡± her voice trailed off.


    (Lacey) Intelligence +1


    ¡°They found the first blood well,¡± Colt gave her a running commentary.


    ¡°That was faster than I expected,¡± Lacey sighed, but kept most of her concentration on her design.  ¡°They got through that hallway of traps?¡±


    ¡°Halfway, then the rogue found the secret passageway,¡± Colt replied, each of them with their eyes glued to their stations.


    ¡°Not that it will do him much good,¡± Lacey bit her cheek, trying to figure out random numbers.


    The wells were mostly decoration until they overflowed and then they were mostly for squick value.  It was a lot cheaper to buy blood when they saved up the excess of the blood their monsters bled out.  The ¡°blood¡± had an odd brownish color from the mix of goblin green blood, and the yellow from the beetles, but there was enough red from the cats and others to make it gruesome.


    ¡°They are stuck in the second vertical trap hallway,¡± Colt grinned at her, but the grin lost a bit of shine as she crumpled up the page she¡¯d been working on.


    ¡°I can¡¯t get anything to do something random,¡± Lacey ground out, throwing the wadded up ball across their room.  Ginger clucked at it but left it there rather than interrupt Lacey¡¯s glare at it there on the floor.  ¡°I got to water drops that coils springs that roll dice, but it rolls it the same way every time so there¡¯s a pattern!  I just don¡¯t know enough without modern technology!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, Lace,¡± Colt¡¯s gaze tried to stay on her, but watching the screen was just as important to them both as keeping his eyes on the road when he was driving.  "We didn¡¯t have time to implement anyway.  They are timing out.  The main fighter is really pissed about it, too.¡±


    ¡°Great,¡± Lacey mourned the time she¡¯d wasted, but she was ready to head for the door when the timer ran out.  ¡°I¡¯ll just take it out on Hughe.  I can¡¯t believe he¡¯s helping them.¡±


    ¡°I can,¡± Colt snarked.


    ¡°We¡¯re not the bad guys here,¡± Lacey returned, her hands on her hips.  ¡°We¡¯ve made the dungeon fair, fairer than what they¡¯re doing to destroy us!¡±


    ¡°I know, Lace,¡± Colt tossed a map on the pedestal and flicked a few screens the instant the walls turned blue.  Then they were out of there.

 Chapter 37 – When You Give a DM Ideas

    ¡°I don¡¯t know why I didn¡¯t think of it before,¡± Lacey told Colt over text. ¡°Having a goblin roll dice is much better for randomizing than a mechanical method.¡±


    ¡°Focus,¡± Colt replied. ¡°They¡¯re entering the first Tomb.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± Lacey replied, pulling the lucky George 13 marble out of her pocket. ¡°I can hear them swearing on the other side of the wall.¡±


    ¡°Hughe knows about the right path being a dead end, so he should take them down the left path.¡± Colt obviously wasn¡¯t in the mood for levity.


    ¡°Yep, he¡¯s predictable,¡± Lacey nodded to herself as she watched through the periscopes as Hughe did lead them down the left path. Unfortunately for Hughe, they¡¯d done a mirror version on the maze for this floor.


    Lacey waved to the elite squad of goblins behind her. As practiced, they released a small flock of enormous birds out of the secret door at the end of the long hallway. What rounded the corner of the Tomb was a nightmare of feathered squawking


    Each one of the six-foot-tall birds had long, skinny, gray legs that ended in bright orange webbed feet. Above their heads was the label Gossowary. They¡¯d named them after an online buddy named RobotSamari, but they¡¯d shortened it to Robosam 1-20. With a bit of change to the original design of the temple, 60 feet of the outside crumbled away to provide their winged warriors the space to fight the party. They might have only been level 16, but they also breathed out a magical cone of psychic damage. Clawed feet scrabbled at the adventurers, while wings flapped behind, and the breath weapon was accompanied by a honk that could have been mistaken for mace for the ears.


    ¡°That trap wasn¡¯t here before,¡± Hughe cried out to the party. ¡°I swear.¡±


    ¡°Just stay back out of the way,¡± the fighter swore back over his shoulder as they found themselves in a room 60¡¯ by 60¡¯ quickly being surrounded by twenty costly birds.


    ¡°Holy shit,¡± Hughe stumbled back 40¡¯ into the tunnel of traps that Lacey had dismantled. ¡°Do those things have the mouths of a Yautja?¡±


    Lacey quickly enabled all the traps between Hughe and the higher-level party and tossed her George onto the wall. The goblin elites stood by eagerly, having closed up the secret door and locked it into place.


    ¡°Yes, they do,¡± she said as she snatched a very surprised Hughe into the trap hallway.


    ¡°Hey!¡± Hughe started yelling, but it was nothing compared to the cacophony of noise that the Gossowaries made.


    ¡°Shut him up,¡± Lacey grit out, shoving Hughe toward the goblins, one of whom still remembered the slaughter of Hughe¡¯s first forays into the dungeon.


    Hughe took a swing, but these goblins weren¡¯t the pushovers Hughe was used to. Adam and his elites had been working hard since their fall from grace and they were on par with the highest beetles they could breed and train out of the arenas. They often challenged themselves on the reset levels between the 6-hour reset and the 10-hour timeout.


    ¡°Those big beaks were really well suited to house the enlarged mandibles without compromising their anatomy,¡± Lacey took on a lecturing tone as Adam swung his green fist into Hughe¡¯s face. ¡°I can¡¯t wait to level them up enough to take on your buddies, but we¡¯re not quite there yet.¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t win,¡± Hughe shook his head to try to clear it, but an elite used his disorientation to knock the sword out of his hand. ¡°Hey, that¡¯s mine!¡±


    ¡°Not anymore,¡± Lacey told him. ¡°Adam is due for an upgrade, right Adam?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t take too long,¡± Colt¡¯s words came silently across her vision. ¡°They are decimating the Gossowaries.¡±


    ¡°Kill him,¡± Lacey told the goblins.If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.


    ¡°Wait!¡± Hughe called out, but no one paused. Lacey turned away after watching them slit his throat. They didn¡¯t have time for conversations. Hughe had needed to silently disappear from the party.


    ¡°They¡¯re down to two Gossowaries,¡± Colt reported.


    ¡°Hughe¡¯s dead,¡± Lacey replied silently. ¡°And Adam has a new sword. It looks enchanted.¡±


    ¡°Just stay quiet,¡± Colt said, and Lacey motioned her palm down at the goblins. They hunched on the floor between trap mechanisms.


    ¡°Pathetic mobs,¡± one of the party was saying.


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t be so bad if they gave even a little experience,¡± another grunted out.


    Lacey balled up a fist.


    ¡°Think the feathers are worth anything?¡± the first one said.


    ¡°Not likely,¡± a new one grunted.


    ¡°Stop your bitching and let¡¯s move out,¡± came a deep voice different from the others. ¡°Hughe!¡±


    ¡°Is that a chest in the corner?¡±


    ¡°If so, it can¡¯t be worth anything,¡± deep voice chided them. ¡°Hughe!¡±


    ¡°That coward is probably back in the hallway.¡±


    ¡°I told you to leave the chest alone,¡± deep voice seemed to be getting mad. ¡°Where is that guy?¡±


    ¡°Come on,¡± the other voice whined. ¡°It could be something.¡±


    It wasn¡¯t, but Lacey wanted the guy to open it. It was full of coal; big old heavy chunks of the stuff. They had started leaving treasures chests full of old junk in an attempt to dissuade the group from their purpose. Lacey just considered it their way of giving them lumps of coal in their stockings instead of presents. Half of the Tombs were full of chests of old junk.


    ¡°Leave that thing there and go find the idiot,¡± deep voice commanded a whining party member.


    ¡°Why me?¡±


    ¡°Because he probably got stuck in a trap and you¡¯re going to have to pull him out.¡±


    Lacey could have kicked herself. That would have been a great plot to just dump Hughe in a triggered trap. She made a quick decision and threw George 13 up on the wall and motioned Adam to toss the body out on top of the pit trap in front of her. George 13 was shriveling up the instant Hughe¡¯s foot cleared the opening and they all heard a solid thump as the trap embraced his already dead body.


    None of them dared to breath as they heard shuffling and waited. Lacey pressed her lips together. That had been stupid. She should have just left it alone and they¡¯d have been searching for Hughe for a while. Her hand itched to reset the trap and cover up her mess, but the thief would likely see her do it.


    ¡°The traps have reset along this corridor!¡± the thief called out, as it could only be the thief that they¡¯d send to check for traps.


    ¡°Did he fall in one?¡± deep voice got closer to their position.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± the thief said. ¡°He¡¯s a goner.¡±


    ¡°Dammit,¡± deep voice muttered so softly she almost didn¡¯t hear it.


    ¡°You want Grimbal to resurrect him?¡± the thief asked.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± the leader replied. ¡°We only get one of those every day and while this dungeon isn¡¯t much of a danger, I¡¯d rather save it for one of us.¡±


    Lacey trembled. Resurrection. She hadn¡¯t even thought of that. She made a vow that she¡¯d spend more time in the dungeon listening in on the party from now on. There was too much they didn¡¯t know, and mistakes would cost them a lot.


    ¡°We need sound,¡± Lacey texted under her breath to Colt.


    ¡°I looked and it¡¯s past the tutorial,¡± Colt told her what she already knew.


    ¡°How many more tasks do we have?¡± Lacey lamented almost to herself.


    ¡°Four, but you know they require us to get things from outside the dungeon,¡± Colt answered, and she could feel him shaking his head at her. ¡°And its stupid stuff. We could get it all in a single night if this party would give us a single night to forage, but they are relentless.¡±


    ¡°Not if we could kill them all,¡± Lacey grumbled, listening to the leader walk away while the thief stayed to dismantle traps.


    ¡°With what?¡± Colt challenged. He wasn¡¯t being mean, but this wasn¡¯t the first time she¡¯d felt this way.


    ¡°Do you think we could kill them if we could separate them?¡± Lacey pondered, watching the thief through the periscope. ¡°They left the thief here alone because they feel safe. If we could take out just this guy, they¡¯d be susceptible to the traps. Then we could whittle down the party. Break them up. That cleric seems like a pansy without the fighter to protect him.¡±


    ¡°The thief and then the cleric,¡± Colt¡¯s text scrolled by with three blinking dots like he was thinking. ¡°Hughe was pretty easy, but we expected that. That rogue is going to be wiley.¡±


    ¡°I just found out that the cleric can resurrect one party member per day, but they left Hughe,¡± Lacey reported. The goblins shifted and she shushed them with a motion of her hand. ¡°But if we dropped the rogue down a trap that then closed over his head while he was out here disarming things, then we could make him do a level by himself. Could he really handle 20 Gossowaries by himself? Then we¡¯d use traps like crazy to get the rest of them.¡±


    ¡°If they give us a chance, it¡¯s worth a try, but how are you going to design something like that from inside the dungeon?¡±


    Lacey looked around her maintenance tunnel. It was a little over 6¡¯ wide but it was crowded with mechanisms. Still, she had the room between traps.


    ¡°I can draw as easily here as I can in the control room,¡± Lacey mused. ¡°I think I¡¯m better used out here than stuck there. I can reset traps that the rogue disarms. I can scuttle between tunnels when you say it¡¯s safe. We¡¯d only need to kill them off once. Then we could finish that stupid tutorial.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a lot of risk just to finish the tutorial,¡± Colt argued, but she knew he wanted it.

 Chapter 38 – One For the Money, Two For the Show

    The party worked their way out of the trapped area as Lacey planned. She and the elite goblins had no trouble scurrying out of the maze once the party was well into it. Knowing that Hughe wouldn¡¯t be back before the party was ousted and back into the dungeon helped. That party would have to go back in without Hughe¡¯s knowledge and that could make them vulnerable.


    Once Lacey was back in the control room, she had 2 hours before they would time out. That was 2 hours to draw a set of traps that could split the party and pit each party member against their weaknesses. Lacey scribbled and Colt made a list of supplies and mobs to take with her. Their funds were running low again, but they still had a little to put into the pit. That final war ground was their last resort.


    ¡°Here,¡± Lacey fumbled the paper to Colt, and he dropped it with the rest of the stack over the pedestal as the lights turned blue. A dozen goblin workers gathered up their supplies and tucked them into two backpacks. Faster than a mom got her kids out the door for the bus, they were both out in the dungeon. Colt wouldn¡¯t be there long, but Lacey needed him to set some things manually as she made her way up to the very top with her elite guard.


    ¡°Does it work?¡± Lacey tried to talk with Colt using the system.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt replied, and they both took a great breath of relief. They hadn¡¯t tried using the communication texts with both of them outside the control room and they were glad they wouldn¡¯t lose each other. They wouldn¡¯t have eyes on the adventurers from the start, but they hadn¡¯t deviated in so long, they didn¡¯t expect any surprises on who came in.


    ¡°Cool,¡± she scurried up another set of stone steps. It was a good thing she¡¯d been active. Back in the beginning, she¡¯d have been huffing and puffing halfway up through the dungeon.


    ¡°Gossowaries are penned up and Ginger knows what to do,¡± Colt texted as she hit the halfway point.


    The dungeon turned red. Lacey hadn¡¯t really expected to be able to get all the way to the top by the time the incursion began, but she¡¯d hoped to be closer and have a little more breath by now. She picked up her pace, triggering off the red overlay. Her mind was imagining that the adventurers had changed everything on this pivotal run. She imagined that they had 20 party members even though she knew they had a maximum of 5 at a time. She imagined that Hughe had miraculously respawned faster than the 16-hour timer and had warned everyone.


    She focused on the timing instead to calm her mind. It took no less than 25 minutes for the party to mow through the first level. She, and the goblins grunting in time behind her, had time. They¡¯d left that level alone, but now they had a level of Aztec Tombs on the second level with specific traps that dropped all the way down to levels that were tooled against specific adventurer types and their unique weaknesses.


    She slipped George 13 out of her pocket and held it open while the goblins behind her squeezed into the maintenance tunnels on what was now level two.


    ¡°Thanks George,¡± Lacey smiled at the creature as she closed up the entry and slipped it into her pocket. No new Georges had been made with the new iterations of the Aztec Tomb, but she was okay with that. Too many Georges weren¡¯t good for her in the long run. As it was, she had 3 in her pocket and Colt had another 3 in his. They were their last-ditch escapes and Lacey hoped they didn¡¯t need them.


    Lacey manned the periscope, too nervous to follow their first idea. Adam was supposed to be watching, but he stood behind her nervously shifting from foot to foot. She was just too wired to sit at Adam¡¯s feet and draw something for their next effort. She got her first glimpse of the party and gasped.


    ¡°They have Helluna,¡± Lacey told Colt silently.


    ¡°They replaced Hughe with Helluna.¡± She didn¡¯t have to imagine Colt¡¯s swearing.


    ¡°I have to kill her, right?¡± Lacey asked.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt answered.


    Lacey waved the goblins to the end of the corridor where they would repeat the release of the Gossowaries.


    ¡°Did you hear something?¡± Helluna asked the party.


    ¡°No,¡± the deep-voiced leader was the same gruff person.


    ¡°It¡¯s creepy,¡± Helluna shuddered, and Lacey held her breath as the party turned right down the trap corridor. ¡°It¡¯s like something is crawling in the walls.¡±


    ¡°I checked this way for traps,¡± the rogue reassured Helluna with a rakish smile that made Lacey roll her eyes. ¡°You¡¯re safe with us.¡±


    ¡°Hughe wasn¡¯t,¡± Helluna snapped at him. ¡°Besides, I don¡¯t know why you want me. I haven¡¯t even been through here once. I can¡¯t help you.¡±You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    ¡°You¡¯re the backup plan in case he gets his ass killed again,¡± the leader growled at her. ¡°Now shut up and stay out of our way.¡±


    Walls crumbled away just like they had previously. Gossowaries thundered out of their pen in a cloud of feathers and sound. Helluna screamed, but she didn¡¯t run back down the corridor like Hughe had. Instead, the rogue gallantly shoved her behind him as they fought the birds. Lacey cursed.


    ¡°That was a waste of 10 Gossowaries,¡± she muttered to Colt. They¡¯d used fewer because it had been so easy to distract them from Hughe before and this trap had only been in case someone like Hughe was used again. They didn¡¯t figure on Helluna acting so differently. ¡°She stayed with the party. She got spooked by the sounds in the walls that no one else noticed!¡±


    ¡°Gaslight her,¡± Colt returned after a pause. ¡°Call her name in a spooky voice.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s lame,¡± Lacey grunted, but she didn¡¯t have another idea.


    ¡°Did you hear that?¡± Helluna hissed, grabbing the arm of the rogue who rolled his eyes. ¡°Someone called my name.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll call your name all night long baby, but let me fight here first, okay?¡± the thief drawled out.


    Helluna dropped his arm and backed away from him. To be fair, Lacey figured that he¡¯d gotten a bit more creepy than Lacey¡¯s call. Lacey waited an anxious moment, inching toward where Helluna was pressed against the wall. With a quick application of George, Helluna fell back into Lacey¡¯s arms.


    ¡°Lacey!¡± Helluna started to say only to have Lacey¡¯s hand clamp over Helluna¡¯s mouth and press a finger to her own lips. Wide eyes met hers as Helluna noticed the goblins behind Lacey, all armed with nasty-looking swords.


    It was a tense set of moments as the fight died down outside the tunnels and Helluna¡¯s eyes narrowed. A hundred ways that Helluna could betray them flitted across Lacey¡¯s paranoid mind in a single second before she drew her knife and slit the woman¡¯s throat.


    ¡°She¡¯ll respawn,¡± Lacey chanted into her own mind. ¡°I didn¡¯t just kill a person. She¡¯ll respawn.¡±


    Lacey shook her head to clear it and moved to the periscope to watch.


    ¡°Where¡¯s the girl?¡± the leader asked after checking the perimeter for more mobs.


    ¡°She was right behind me,¡± the rogue shrugged and headed toward the huge chest of coal that sat in the corner.


    ¡°What was her name again?¡± the leader hissed to the cleric who stood next to the leader, eying the 60¡¯ by 60¡¯ rock-lined room.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± the cleric replied.


    ¡°Helluna,¡± the mage answered for them.


    ¡°Helluna?¡± the leader called out down the hallway.


    ¡°You remembered her name?¡± the cleric teased the mage. ¡°I thought Bagatoll was the one that was sweet on her.¡±


    ¡°Whatever,¡± the mage crossed his arms over his chest.


    ¡°Where is she?¡± the leader clomped in his plate armor toward the traps that Lacey hovered over.


    He wasn¡¯t the one she wanted to send down this trap. She was waiting for the rogue to get there. Lacey¡¯s palms itched to pull the lever with the fighter on top of it sitting there so prettily and ready to be dumped. Instead, she took a very quiet breath and stilled.


    ¡°This chest is heavy!¡± the rogue tugged on the handles and dragged it a few feet. ¡°It¡¯s not trapped or anything, but it¡¯s just full of coal.¡±


    ¡°Leave it and find Helluna,¡± the leader barked out, thankfully walking over to the chest to check it out.


    ¡°Whatever,¡± the rogue spat on the ground, but obeyed.


    The leader upended the huge treasure chest to find nothing but coal, kicking pieces all over the place, just to make a mess. The rogue edged down the hallway calling out to Helluna and her name sent a jolt of guilt into the pit of Lacey¡¯s stomach. She let the rogue pass the trap, wiping her hand on her jeans.


    ¡°She¡¯s not down here,¡± the rogue called out.


    ¡°Check for traps down that way,¡± the leader demanded. ¡°Maybe she fell into one.¡±


    ¡°I already checked this corridor, but sure, maybe she fell into a non-existent trap and disappeared into the mists,¡± the rogue slurred out sarcastically, then making a woo-woo sound like they were in some horror movie.


    He walked back over the trap and barely gave a yelp as he fell hundreds of feet down into darkness, his hands grabbing at the walls to try to stop his inevitable fall. Where his hands touched the walls, Chucks took little nibbles of his flesh. The screaming was muffled as the heavy stone lid to the trap fell over his head. It not only kept the sound down, but it would also crush the adventurer once he hit the bottom, which was the very very bottom of the dungeon. Maybe the Chucks wouldn¡¯t kill him, but then there was the fall damage followed by the 4-ton stone block ¡°lid¡± that would. If he was still alive after that, they were betting that he¡¯d bleed out without a cleric to heal the holes of the spikes that took up most of the last 10¡¯.


    ¡°The rogue is in the hole,¡± Lacey breathed out to Colt. ¡°Why didn¡¯t we try this from the beginning?¡±


    ¡°We were too busy being clever with puzzles that earned us a bunch of levels,¡± Colt replied.


    ¡°Sorry about Helluna,¡± Lacey backed out of the corridor to hit the second of 3 maintenance corridors in this Aztec Tomb.


    ¡°She¡¯ll respawn,¡± Colt said.


    ¡°She¡¯ll hate us,¡± Lacey scuttled around the edges of a Muck, waving to the Chuck above the Muck.


    ¡°No loss,¡± Colt might have sounded cold, but he was right, and she needed to hear it.


    ¡°I should have asked her for information on the guildies,¡± Lacey hit two bricks to open a secret passage the group would never find now that they¡¯d lost their rogue.


    ¡°No worries,¡± Colt¡¯s text said.


    ¡°I¡¯m in the next maintenance tunnel,¡± Lacey tried to distract herself. ¡°I¡¯ll have a dozen chances at the cleric here.¡± They¡¯d linked all the traps along this corridor so that they slid down into the same pit. That pit opened up into a dungeon section that was more traps than mobs. They hoped the clanky cleric, in his plate mail that had to be extended over a tubby belly, would kill himself there. If not, the area was traumatic enough that maybe he wouldn¡¯t want to come back again, not that he¡¯d remember it. All the traps along Lacey¡¯s current track in the Aztec Tomb were disabled so that Lacey got to manually choose when and who to trap. They wanted the cleric next.


    Lacey sat back at the periscope nearest to where the party should emerge. They¡¯d closed off a lot of the optional ways through this version of the maze to better control the timing, but they just couldn¡¯t plan for everything. She wondered if she should have stayed to listen to more of their conversation.

 Chapter 39 – Three to Get Ready

    Lacey shook out her hands, trying to keep her restlessness down.  The goblins were shuffling around too, like children who¡¯d been told to wait for dessert.  The adventurers that were left were taking too long, and Lacey¡¯s mind had all sorts of dire warnings for what was delaying them.


    ¡°I should go back and look,¡± she told Colt, more to stop herself from doing it than because she was going risk her position.


    ¡°Nope,¡± Colt replied.  ¡°I have two more floors before I can go be your eyes.¡±


    Colt was disarming traps on two other levels of the Tomb just in case they missed on this one.  Lacey chewed on her lips, trying to stay still.  He should have been done by now.  The party should have gotten to this tunnel by now.  Her mind whirled with all that could go wrong.  She toggled her overlay on and off again just to make sure they hadn¡¯t ducked back out of the dungeon.  What Lacey didn¡¯t want was to just sit there and think about things.  The fact that the goblins were as restless as she was made her feel stupid for being so fidgety.


    ¡°He didn¡¯t back out of the dungeon,¡± the leader was saying.


    ¡°Then where is he?¡± the mage challenged.


    ¡°There aren¡¯t a lot of traps anyway,¡± the leader replied.  ¡°Whatever was in here before, it¡¯s changed so that we don¡¯t need Bagatoll as much anyway.  Maybe this Hughe fellow was just exaggerating.¡±


    ¡°Then why haven¡¯t we cleared the dungeon by now?¡± the mage insisted, and now that Lacey could see them, she could see that the cleric was just as dubious as the mage.  They were bunched up together in the tunnels even though the tomb left plenty of room.


    ¡°You know what I think?¡± the cleric stuck his nose in the air from his spot in the back.  ¡°I think he ducked down into one of these side tunnels with that girl and they¡¯re doing tickle/widdle, if you know what I mean.¡±


    ¡°He wouldn¡¯t dare,¡± the leader grit out angrily.


    ¡°We¡¯ve been running this dungeon for ages,¡± the cleric muttered to the mage.  ¡°I¡¯m not sure I blame the guy.¡±


    They were passing the first set of traps, but Lacey didn¡¯t dare set it off with as close as the three of them were standing to each other.  While the smart thing to do was to take the cleric next, it was also the most obvious ploy.  The party wasn¡¯t suspicious, at least they didn¡¯t seem to be.  Lacey would have been.  At least she thought she would have been.  Then again, she and Colt had gotten sloppy too once or twice.


    ¡°Will you two shut up,¡± the leader barked at them, stalling the group to listen.


    The way they shut up so quickly made Lacey hold her breath.  Could they be pretending to be careless?  She might.  She watched them carefully, but when the mage rolled his eyes at the fighter¡¯s back, she let herself breathe again.


    ¡°Where are the mobs?¡± the fighter asked the silence.


    ¡°We just fought a herd of birds,¡± the cleric protested.


    ¡°Not that they were any challenge,¡± the mage complained.  ¡°And it¡¯s a flock of birds.¡±


    ¡°I always wondered why they called a herd of sheep a flock,¡± the cleric pondered.  ¡°They¡¯re not birds.¡±


    ¡°Shut the flock up!¡± the fighter turned to raise a fist at the two.


    They passed the section she could see from the current periscope, and Lacey used their distance to quietly move along the tunnel to the next one.


    ¡°How am I supposed to listen for ambushes if you two are yammering constantly?¡±


    ¡°Sorry, boss,¡± the cleric ducked his head, but the mage just frowned and crossed his arms over his chest.


    ¡°What do you think you¡¯re going to hear?¡± the mage sneered at the fighter.  ¡°Traps don¡¯t have sound warnings.  They don¡¯t whisper along the tunnels saying ¨C watch out!¡±


    Lacey wanted so bad to whisper, ¡°Watch out,¡± but she didn¡¯t dare.  As it was, she had to press her lips together to keep from huffing out a laugh.


    ¡°You think you¡¯re so smart,¡± the fighter poked a finger at the mage.Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.


    ¡°That is my job,¡± the mage raised an eyebrow.  ¡°I¡¯m the smart one.  You¡¯re the big dumb ox that keeps me from getting hit.  And Grimbol is the one who keeps you alive.  Bagatoll was the one who kept us out of traps, but he¡¯s more interested in romance than his job at the moment.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t push me,¡± the fighter growled.


    ¡°As if I could push you and your bulk anywhere,¡± the mage scoffed, sliding a derogatory eye down to the cleric¡¯s ample girth.  ¡°Either of you.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re just sour at the fact that Bagatoll got her into a dark corner before your pathetic charm could work on her,¡± the cleric sulked.


    ¡°If either of you had a wit of sense, you¡¯d know that none of that makes sense,¡± the mage leaned against the wall where Lacey¡¯s dart holes were covered with only the barest layer of dust to hide them.  ¡°With Bagatoll gone, I¡¯m the only one who can open locked doors with my spells.  Unless you¡¯d like to try to bash stone doors down with your head.¡±


    Lacey wanted to let the dart go, but she knew that the cleric would just heal whatever damage she might be able to do, even with the poison.


    ¡°This is pointless,¡± the cleric threw up his arms with a clatter of clanks.


    ¡°Neither of you will remember my insubordination anyway, so I see no reason not to speak my mind,¡± the mage sounded smug.  ¡°You need me to get anywhere, so you won¡¯t kill me, even if Mardox is waiting to take my place.¡±


    Mardox?  Did the guildies have others to take the place of the ones she and Colt managed to kill?


    ¡°I always knew you were a prick, Kaleef,¡± the fighter slammed his fist into the wall next to the mage¡¯s head, but from what Lacey could tell, the mage didn¡¯t flinch.  Lacey had.  ¡°Keep up the attitude though and I¡¯ll find a way to smack you around just enough that Gimbol can heal you.¡±


    ¡°Try it and you¡¯ll find out which is higher, your hit points or my mana pool,¡± Kaleef leaned away from the wall.


    ¡°Must we fight?¡± Gimbol gave a weak little laugh, like they were kidding.  Lacey was pretty sure they weren¡¯t kidding.


    ¡°We¡¯ve been at this for weeks and for all we know, it¡¯s all for nothing,¡± Kaleef stalked away from both the fighter and cleric in a way that made Lacey really want to pull the lever on that guy first.  ¡°The main skills going up have been Bagatoll¡¯s trapsense and lockpicking.  The only thing that¡¯s been going up in my stats is some idiotic puzzle-solver skill that we¡¯ve never seen before.¡±


    ¡°Your puzzle skill is going up,¡± the fighter stalked up to the back of the mage, turning the mage to face him.  The cleric scuttled right up behind the fighter, making Lacey curse silently.  ¡°Maybe you¡¯re the reason we¡¯re not clearing the dungeon.  Maybe you want to clear it yourself and claim the rights to it.¡±


    ¡°Like the guild would let me,¡± Kaleef tried to push the fighter¡¯s hand away, but couldn¡¯t make it move.  ¡°As soon as this term is up, I¡¯m leaving for a real guild, one that appreciates mages and isn¡¯t run by a bunch of meatheads.¡±


    ¡°I think I just found my new trap detector,¡± the fighter shoved the mage down the corridor.


    ¡°Unbelievable,¡± the mage skidded to a stop.  ¡°I¡¯ll report this behavior!¡±


    ¡°For a smart guy, you forget yourself,¡± the fighter snarled.  ¡°If I won¡¯t remember your shit, you won¡¯t remember it either.  Shut up and walk.¡±


    That worked for Lacey.  With the mage in front, the cleric was bringing up the rear.  Not only that, but the swearing that the mage was doing covered up the scuffle as the cleric fell into a very deep pit.  That wasn¡¯t to say that the others didn¡¯t notice.


    ¡°Use levitate!¡± the fighter insisted.


    ¡°After what you just pulled?¡± the mage crossed his arms over his chest again.


    ¡°Idiot!¡± the fighter lay down to try to reach out to the cleric, but the clanking and squealing continued as the cleric hit the sides and slid all the way to his own personal hell.  ¡°He¡¯s the only thing keeping either of us alive.¡±


    ¡°I guess you can¡¯t use me as a trap sensor without a healer to keep me alive,¡± the mage gave a nasty laugh.  Lacey wasn¡¯t sure how these guys had made it so far all the other times without killing each other.


    ¡°I can still use you any way I want,¡± the fighter turned a vicious glare on the mage.  ¡°I think I¡¯d rather have Mardox than you anyway.¡±


    The mage wasn¡¯t stupid enough to misunderstand that statement and shot off what could only have been a fireball.  Then again, he couldn¡¯t have been as bright as he thought he was.  He cast that fireball in an enclosed tunnel that was about 10¡¯ wide by 40¡¯ long before it turned a corner.  The fighter, having more health points than a single fireball could take from him, rushed toward the mage.


    A blade clashed against the mage¡¯s invisible shield, but the fighter¡¯s strength was higher than the shield and the mage took damage.  Lacey timed her darts carefully for when the mage¡¯s shield was down or when the fighter got hit with a spell of some sort.  She knew better than to distract them from each other, but it was hard to resist getting a dose of poison in here and there.  They¡¯d turn on her in an instant, back-to-back against a common foe if they noticed that the traps were being set manually.


    She didn¡¯t dare dump either of them into a pit in this section of the tomb because she and Colt had set the pits here to all go to the same place for the cleric.  If she trapped either of them, she¡¯d just be reuniting them with the cleric and that wasn¡¯t what they wanted to do.


    ¡°You¡¯re not going to believe this,¡± Lacey told Colt under her breath.


    ¡°I¡¯m almost back to the control room,¡± Colt replied.


    ¡°The idiots turned on each other,¡± Lacey laughed to herself.  ¡°Once the cleric wasn¡¯t around to mediate, the fighter and mage started attacking each other.¡±


    ¡°As in they could kill each other?¡± Colt asked, dubious.


    ¡°We couldn¡¯t be that lucky,¡± Lacey sent back.  ¡°I can¡¯t see their health, but the mage threw a fireball, and the fighter is throwing punches.  We may have bigger problems though.¡±


    ¡°Couldn¡¯t be easy, huh?¡±


    ¡°I think they have backup outside the dungeon,¡± Lacey told Colt what she¡¯d overheard.  ¡°If they just replace this group with another one¡­¡±


    ¡°Then we¡¯ll never get the tutorial done,¡± Colt finished for her.  Lacey thought it might be worse than that.

 Chapter 40 – Four to Go

    The rogue died of blood loss as they¡¯d expected.  The cleric knocked himself out and was still unconscious when Colt found and killed him.  That much had been easy.  The fighter had beaten the mage unconscious but had obviously intended to keep his party member alive.  The poison that the darts had delivered had pushed the unconscious mage over the edge, but the fighter stomping the corpse to a pulp hadn¡¯t helped.  The fighter obviously got notifications that his party members were dead and every time it happened, he kicked the mage¡¯s body again.  Then he sat there on a trap-free square in the Aztec Tomb and swore and complained.


    Lacey sat near and swore silently right along with the guy.  She was pretty sure that he could just walk out and there wouldn¡¯t be much she could do about it.  She had a few places that she could try to catch him into the same pit slides that the cleric had died in, but the guy didn¡¯t look like he was going to move.


    When the fighter started to snore, Lacey sent the elites out after him, but he had really good reflexes, waking almost instantly at the sound of the footfalls.  The elite squad had barely made it back into the tunnel before the fighter had rounded the corner.  Lacey had lunged for a trap mechanism, but the fighter had leapt over the pit with inches to spare.


    ¡°We should just kill the fighter,¡± Colt suggested.  ¡°We can get him to chase the goblins into enough traps to take him out.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± Lacey countered.  ¡°At least not yet.  If he dies, I just think we¡¯ll get another group in here and the whole thing will start up again.¡±


    ¡°The devil you know and all is one thing,¡± Colt¡¯s text scrolled across her display.  ¡°But I¡¯m done with this siege.  I¡¯m ready to just kill anyone who comes in until they get the message that we need some down time.  We can make a 100¡¯ pit out of the first bat cave and just make it impassable.¡±


    ¡°The last mage had levitate,¡± Lacey texted back.  ¡°But I¡¯m with you on the fatality rate.  We may not reset after a group wipe, but if we wipe them out early enough, it won¡¯t matter.  I¡¯m ready to decimate their whole guild.¡±


    ¡°Murder hole ambush,¡± Colt brainstormed.  ¡°We make the first room a pit where we have a hundred goblins all shooting through the ceiling at anything that moves.  They¡¯ll die eventually and it¡¯ll level up some goblins.¡±


    ¡°Again, the mages screw up that one,¡± Lacey argued.  ¡°They just need to cast into the murder holes to kill all the goblins.¡±


    ¡°Landslide, the falling ceiling, or¡­¡±


    ¡°Why don¡¯t I just put a note on the door like we did before?¡± Lacey rolled her eyes at the idea, but it was as valid as any of the other methods.  ¡°Are you sure there isn¡¯t a way to close the dungeon for a specified number of days?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s on the other side of the tutorial,¡± Lacey guessed and wanted to bang her head on the wall.  ¡°Stalemate.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re smarter than this lunkhead,¡± Colt replied.


    ¡°It¡¯s not going to matter if there¡¯s a platoon of his guildmates out there waiting to take up his place,¡± Lacey dug her hands into her hair.


    ¡°No use worrying about what we can¡¯t know,¡± Colt told her.  He¡¯d returned to the control room and could only sit there and watch.


    ¡°I could go look,¡± Lacey suggested.


    ¡°No way, Lacey,¡± Colt sent back via their text.  She couldn¡¯t see it, but she knew that he was worried.


    ¡°I¡¯m the only one who could,¡± Lacey sent.  ¡°We aren¡¯t going to get another chance.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll find out soon enough,¡± Colt countered.


    ¡°If we could kill this guy, I¡¯d agree with you,¡± Lacey reasoned, trying not to sigh loudly.  ¡°But all he¡¯s got to do is walk out of here or wait out the timeout and he¡¯s got us trapped again.¡±


    ¡°If he catches you out there,¡± Colt was saying.


    ¡°It¡¯s only the last huge bat cave that would be the real problem,¡± Lacey closed her eyes and focused on the image in her memory.  ¡°Everyplace else has a hidey hole I could duck into to avoid him.¡±


    Lacey was wildly oversimplifying the situation.  Were there hidey holes?  There were hiding places, but if this guy got serious looking for her, she was toast.  There was no way she could defend herself from him in a face-to-face attack.


    ¡°It¡¯s too dangerous,¡± Colt texted her.  ¡°Please Lacey, don¡¯t do this.¡±


    He knew that she would.  They both did.


    ¡°I¡¯ve got to know.¡±


    Lacey used George 13 to exit the maintenance tunnel and head back to the previous maintenance tunnel where they¡¯d ambushed Helluna and Hughe.  The fighter was far enough away that Lacey was sure he wouldn¡¯t hear her, but she was quiet anyway.  She¡¯d left two elite goblins to harry the man if he started to move around, but the rest came with her.


    Lacey climbed the stairs up to the first level, where the fighter and his party had already decimated the entire population of baby beetles.  It was messy, but quiet.  She swore to herself that she¡¯d install maintenance tunnels in every room from now on, but until then, she had to content herself with the fact that Colt was watching.  He¡¯d let her know if anything odd happened.


    The reason the bat cave entrance was the only sticky spot was that it didn¡¯t have any escape valve at all.  If people came into the dungeon or if the fighter came up behind her, there was nowhere to hide.  The floor of the bat cave was littered with bat guano and charred bat guts.  The mage had sniped the bats off the ceiling as they¡¯d stirred.Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.


    As much as Colt had worried, Lacey¡¯s journey was quiet, but at the cave entrance, she got nervous again.  Could more come in now that some were dead?  Would anyone out there know that their guildmates had died?


    Taking a deep breath, Lacey stuck her head around the corner of the entrance to peek outside.  The daylight burned her eyes, but as she blinked it away, she saw the truth.  There were at least two other groups waiting for entry to the dungeon.  They sat around little campfires where they were cooking food and drying meat.


    ¡°There¡¯s half a guild out here just waiting to take that asshole¡¯s place,¡± Lacey reported to Colt, having seen enough.  ¡°And they have the rest of Hughe¡¯s party out there.¡±


    ¡°Even if we kill off this group, there¡¯s another one waiting.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey backed away from the entrance.


    ¡°Adam go out and fight!¡± Adam told Lacey, but she shook her head at him.


    ¡°Even if I could sneak you out there, you¡¯d never be able to gather a tree¡¯s worth of wood, a basket of berries, a dozen pinecones, and kill a woodland creature for meat to bring back,¡± Lacey patted the goblin on the shoulder.  ¡°If they didn¡¯t kill you on the way out, they¡¯d kill you on the way back in and then where would we be?¡±


    ¡°Is there a way we can make another exit to the dungeon?¡± Lacey sent to Colt.


    ¡°Maybe,¡± Colt replied.  ¡°But I looked that one up and a second entrance allows for a second party to enter.¡±


    ¡°So, we make it on the other side of the mountain,¡± Lacey got up and brushed the dust off her pants as quietly as she could.


    ¡°That could work.¡±


    ¡°Do we have any rooms close to the surface on that side?¡± Lacey asked Colt.  ¡°I¡¯m wondering if we can tunnel to the surface with workers before this incursion times out.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯d be easier if we just rearranged the rooms,¡± Colt answered.  ¡°But maybe the fourth Aztec Tomb level.¡±


    ¡°If Ginger¡¯s in the control room, we¡¯ll need someone else to head up the workers,¡± Lacey walked back to the Aztec maze with less trepidation than she¡¯d had coming out.


    ¡°Ginger¡¯s actually in the water cavern,¡± Colt told her.  ¡°She was bored with hiding under the bed and delegated the task to another lazier worker.¡±


    ¡°Go get Ginger from the water cavern,¡± Lacey ordered one of the elite goblins.  ¡°Meet me at the second Aztec Tomb entrance.¡±


    ¡°What about the fighter?¡± Colt worried at her.


    ¡°He¡¯s penned down even if he does finally decide to get off his ass and try his hand at the first maze all alone,¡± Lacey shrugged, watching the elite hustle off to do her bidding.


    ¡°I¡¯m liking the new brave Lacey,¡± Colt texted.


    ¡°I think it comes with nothing to lose,¡± Lacey admitted, more to herself than him, though she sent the message.


    Lacey felt her shoulders loosen in a way they never had before.  Was this what people without anxiety felt like every day?  Could people like Colt just walk around not worrying about all the things that could go wrong in every corner of the room?  And why had it happened just then?  The stakes were still as high as they¡¯d always been.


    Lacey was amazed that her fear could be shrugged off.  She¡¯d spent her life trying to get out from under the constant fear of being a failure or doing things so wrong that she screwed up everything for everyone.  She kicked at a rock and watched it skitter away.  That was why she¡¯d played a lot of video games.  If you screwed up in a video game, you just started over or went back to the last save.


    Had she finally realized that this was just a video game?  Had she finally let that sink in enough to let it go?  Her mother had believed in psychologists and sent Lacey to three or four over the years.  Her dad, not so much.  He¡¯d been of the tough-it-out mindset.  The last psychologist she¡¯d seen had been at the mandatory counseling they¡¯d sent her to at the college, but the staff there was graduate students with almost no experience.  They¡¯d been better suited to dealing with homesickness than anxiety at Lacey¡¯s level.


    No matter how many times or ways that Colt had told Lacey to relax, she¡¯d always wondered how that worked for other people.  It was a video game, and they really didn¡¯t have a lot to lose.  The worst that could happen was that they became players in the game.  Or maybe the absolute worst was going back to their shitty apartment with the running hot and cold water and jobs where the only bullies and goblins were the people in line, or the managers.  At least they could leave work stuff behind when their shifts were over.


    Lacey thought about the worries she¡¯d had in her old life.  She¡¯d been worried that she was a failure, or if they had enough for rent and one more escape room, and whether Colt¡¯s mom would bake pie or cake for dessert on Sunday.  It didn¡¯t seem like a lot, but it had been for Lacey at the time.  Would it be now?


    Ginger ran up to Lacey, the elite huffing and puffing to keep up with the industrious little goblin.  The adventurer entrance to the second Aztec Tomb was a secret door that only opened once the altars had been covered in the blood that could be gotten from the blood wells throughout the maze.  The blood soaked into the porous stone of the altars and down onto pressure plates that slowly triggered a stone knife to fall down the middle of the mural on the back wall.  When the knife hit the sacrifice, blood would burst out and cover the floor as the mural split in two to allow passage to the next level.


    ¡°Hey, Ginger,¡± Lacey said, bypassing all that with a judiciously placed George, stepping into the second Aztec tomb¡¯s long first hallway.


    ¡°What Lacey need?¡± Ginger wrung her hands and Lacey wondered for a moment how she wasn¡¯t doing the same.  Lacey was the worrywart.  She should be more worried and yet there was a looseness in her that was foreign but welcome.


    ¡°It¡¯s about a quarter of a mile to the surface at about a 45-degree angle from that fourth Aztec Tomb,¡± Colt¡¯s text told Lacey. ¡°That¡¯s the one we trapped specifically for a blood overflow in case everything else failed.¡±


    ¡°We need to get a bunch of workers up here to tunnel to the surface,¡± Lacey explained to Ginger, walking the long corridor where she held the George open for Ginger to enter the next Tomb.


    ¡°But adventurers in here?¡± Ginger looked around in confusion.


    ¡°Only one left and he¡¯s sulking in the first Tomb where the elites and I are going to keep him busy while the workers dig,¡± Lacey explained.


    ¡°Adventurers dumb,¡± Ginger clucked her tongue.  ¡°They have moonshine?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Lacey chuckled and included Colt on the thought, ¡°but that¡¯s not a bad idea in the future.  We should definitely add moonshine as loot in the treasure boxes.¡±


    ¡°This is why I love Ginger,¡± Colt texted back.


    ¡°So Ginger,¡± Lacey put a light hand on the goblin¡¯s shoulder and pointed from one end of the front hall of the Tomb to the other.  ¡°How long do you think it would take for workers to dig out a tunnel 10 times as long as this hallway, but going uphill like this?¡±  Lacey held her hand at about a 45-degree angle.


    ¡°Oh,¡± Ginger set a finger to her lips and tapped it there for a moment.  She walked the hallway twice, then ordered one of the elites to send for 10 of her best digger workers and 10 of her runners.  ¡°Take less than one day but more than time Colt sleeps.¡±


    ¡°Any way to speed that up?¡± Lacey winced at the time.  She really wanted to finish the tunnel before the current incursion timed out.  ¡°Can Eve help?¡±


    ¡°Eve more trouble than worth, but maybe speed up with blasties for hard spots,¡± Ginger shrugged at Lacey.  ¡°Eve hard to get to work now that she big magic goblin!¡±


    ¡°Get Eve and her entire team up here now,¡± Lacey ordered another elite.  ¡°Tell her that I sent for her and if she¡¯s late, I¡¯ll be pissed.¡±


    The elite paled a bit but nodded very fast and left to comply.  All that threatening had done wonders for obedience in the upper class of goblins.  They might feel above the workers, but they were respectful of Lacey and Colt.  Maybe respectful wasn¡¯t the word as much as scared to death of them.

 Chapter 41 – Goblins Go BOOOM!

    Lacey returned to her place near the fighter in time to wake him up with a poisoned dart.  She¡¯d given up on the idea of not letting him know that she or at least someone sentient was near him in the Tomb.  The floor vibrated, and while the fighter didn¡¯t make much of it, Lacey knew that it was Eve blasting through a ton of dirt and every vibration took them that much closer to the end of the tutorial from hell.  Lacey was very glad that Eve was scared of her makers enough to go all out.


    ¡°What the hell?¡± the fighter plucked the dart out of his neck and stared at the wall where it had to have come from.


    ¡°Sleep on your own time, asshole,¡± Lacey snapped at the adventurer.


    In the time it had taken for Ginger to organize the goblins, Lacey had decided that if this was the way dungeons were run, she¡¯d rather be a player.  At least she¡¯d try it.  If being a player was as bad as this, she and Colt could just quit.  The decision had freed her from the need to survive.


    ¡°You¡¯re one of the dungeon masters?¡± the fighter gave a huff of a laugh.  ¡°Oh, you¡¯re dead!¡±


    ¡°Big words from a guy who¡¯s lost most of his team to this dungeon master,¡± Lacey drawled back.


    ¡°But now you¡¯re out here in my arena and I can kill you,¡± the fighter levered himself to his feet and drew his sword.


    ¡°You¡¯d have to be able to get to me first,¡± Lacey let another poisoned dart fly.


    ¡°Now that I know where you are, that¡¯ll be easy,¡± the fighter beat the dart out of the air.


    He approached the wall and felt around the little holes where Lacey lobbed another dart straight into his palm.


    ¡°I¡¯m not afraid of your little darts,¡± he pulled the dart out of his hand and tossed it to the ground.


    ¡°Come and get me then,¡± Lacey taunted the guy.


    He took a step and almost fell into a pit.  Now that the cleric was good and dead, she wasn¡¯t worried about dumping the fighter down a few levels.  It would keep him away from the excavation that Lacey could feel happening as the ground vibrated again.  She¡¯d been assured that even if Eve ran out of mana, one of her team would take her place and create more ¡°booms.¡±  Lacey had watched a single blast, and the resulting tunnel would be huge, but the workers were clearing it faster than they could dig it using 20 goblins.


    ¡°You can try to kill me, but I¡¯m not as stupid as you think I am,¡± the fighter laughed at her pit, but that was okay.  She was just toying with him.


    ¡°I¡¯m Lacey,¡± she introduced herself, triggering another dart that missed the fighter¡¯s butt by an inch.  ¡°The mage was Kaleef.  The cleric was Gimbol and the thief was Bagatoll, but I never heard your name.  They just seemed to call you asshole a lot.¡±


    ¡°Funny,¡± the fighter took a running start and jumped over the pit, only to skid to a stop as another one opened up in front of him.  He barely managed to pivot and grab onto the wall to keep from falling down the slide.  Lacey figured he had to have a decent dexterity to be a fighter.  ¡°I¡¯m Montgomery.¡±


    ¡°Nice to meet you, Monty,¡± Lacey said, resetting both traps.


    ¡°It¡¯s Montgomery,¡± the fighter ground his teeth, making Lacey smile.  ¡°And even if you kill me, there¡¯s a whole guild camped outside waiting to take my place.¡±


    ¡°But you¡¯re the leader, right?¡± Lacey called out.  ¡°I heard the mage call you the meathead leader.¡±


    ¡°I am Lord Montgomery, and I am the leader of this guild,¡± Monty sounded far too snooty to be a dumb meathead, but here he was being meaty of the headedness.


    ¡°Oh, I get it,¡± Lacey snapped her fingers.  ¡°You¡¯re a legacy boy.  Had your title handed to you with that silver spoon?¡±


    ¡°I am neither a boy nor have I had my title handed to me with or without a spoon,¡± Monty protested, taking another running leap to jump over both traps.  ¡°I¡¯m about to earn myself a brand new dungeon with which I plan to train my troops.¡±


    ¡°Not without Hughe,¡± Lacey poked at him to get information.  Meatheads were often really good at villain speeches.  ¡°I thought you needed him to take over the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°Are you a woman?¡± Monty blurted out the non-sequitur after landing past both traps.


    ¡°No,¡± Lacey teased the man by using a very low voice.


    ¡°You are a woman,¡± Monty became utterly amused as he strolled around the little hallway that led away from and then returned to the wall where Lacey could get to him.  ¡°How like a woman to resort to stalling mechanisms instead of providing traditional monsters.  It reeks of cowardice.¡±


    Lacey laughed, moving to the newest set of traps that were at the end of the maintenance tunnel as his path led right around it in a u-turn.


    ¡°You find my insults amusing?¡± Monty drawled out like he was talking to a child.


    ¡°I find it amusing that you think I¡¯m dumb for outsmarting you so many times,¡± Lacey quipped back, launching the spring-loaded spears.


    ¡°These traps of yours cannot kill me,¡± the fighter easily knocked the spears out of the air, but one managed to do a few points of damage.


    ¡°A friend of mine used to play Magic, the Gathering,¡± Lacey explained, winding the spring mechanism back into place.  She and Colt had played the game obsessively for a few years, but the cards had gotten to the point that she had them organized in file boxes.  Colt had convinced her to sell them all one year in exchange for what ended up being enough for a weekend escape-room builders convention.  ¡°He had this one white deck, and it didn¡¯t seem to do a lot of damage.¡±This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.


    ¡°I know nothing of these magic systems you speak of,¡± Monty scoffed, dodging a swinging log full of spikes that suddenly filled the hallway.


    ¡°Anyway, this deck might not have done a lot of damage on a single turn, but he¡¯d filled it with all these protections too,¡± Lacey explained as he turned another corner.  ¡°You just couldn¡¯t do enough damage to him through these protections to kill him, but he¡¯d always take off one or two points every single turn and if he played you long enough, he¡¯d dink you to death.  We called it his dink deck.¡±


    ¡°Is this supposed to be an amusing tale?¡± Monty hopped over a low axe and then barely ducked the axe that split down the middle of the hallway.  ¡°It¡¯s like these puzzles of yours.  They simply aren¡¯t amusing either.  They are annoying.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, so was that dink deck,¡± Lacey huffed as she rewound the mechanism of the axes.


    ¡°Your aim is to be annoying?¡± Monty chuckled.  ¡°I believe you have succeeded.¡±


    ¡°And what¡¯s your ¡®aim?¡¯¡± Lacey reached to rewind the second axe¡¯s mechanism, but Adam had done it for her.  She gave him a smile.


    ¡°I have told it to you already,¡± Monty blotted at a small slice on his wrist from where one of the axes had grazed him.  ¡°I aim to make my guild powerful and then rich by securing this dungeon.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m all for power and riches, but you¡¯d be at the mercy of Hughe,¡± Lacey flipped a switch to turn off the next water trap.  She wasn¡¯t actually aiming to kill him, though she did wonder how he would deal with a 30¡¯ deep pool of water in the armor he was wearing.


    ¡°I can deal with the likes of Hughe,¡± the man sneered.


    ¡°You could have dealt with us too,¡± Lacey tried, though she didn¡¯t want to work with the asshole any more than she¡¯d ever wanted to work with Hughe.


    ¡°Are you bargaining for your life already?¡± Monty gave a snide laugh.  ¡°There is very little space left for you to hide.  I shall find the entrance to your lair, little mouse.¡±


    Lacey laughed, almost regretting not drowning the man in the pool.  Guys didn¡¯t have to be like this any more than girls had to be catty or bitchy.  Colt wasn¡¯t like this.  That¡¯s why the girls liked him so much, Lacey thought.  Even when he was saying goodbye to a girl, he was respectful and kind.


    ¡°You find your impending death funny?¡± Monty wasn¡¯t insulted by her laugh, like he really should have been.


    ¡°I find your arrogance annoying, but my death is not as inevitable as you assume,¡± she loosed a blast of fire that she aimed for his pompous head, and snickered as it lit his coif on fire.


    ¡°You cannot hide forever, little mouse,¡± Monty growled.  He was more intent on patting out the fire on his head, so Lacey forgave him for the lame comeback.  Monty strolled up to the well of blood at the end of the passage of traps.  ¡°Is this the entrance to your little hole?¡±


    ¡°Oh, no!¡± Lacey gasped dramatically.  ¡°You¡¯ve found the secret passage into my hidey hole.  Whatever shall I do?¡±


    ¡°Women are so predictable,¡± Monty shook his head, tapping the bricks one after another.  ¡°You really think a secret door will protect you from me?¡±


    ¡°Without Bagatoll, I doubt you could figure out the latch to your own backpack, much less find the entrance to my lair,¡± Lacey taunted him with a giggle.


    ¡°The mistake you made is in thinking that I need to find the mechanism to open the door,¡± Monty gave the wall in front of Lacey a stern look and then threw himself at it.


    Lacey laughed again, knowing that the 3¡¯ thickness was more than enough to keep out the meathead.  He¡¯d tried this kind of thing before.  It was the whole reason she¡¯d beefed up the walls.


    ¡°If it¡¯s a door, I can bully it down,¡± Monty insisted, throwing himself at the wall again.  ¡°It will eventually give way.¡±


    ¡°You think you haven¡¯t tried this before?¡± Lacey continued to laugh as he did more damage to himself against the wall than she had with most of her traps.  ¡°Do I sound afraid?¡±


    ¡°No, but you will be,¡± Monty doggedly threw himself at the wall again.


    ¡°I really won¡¯t,¡± Lacey chuckled, admiring his determination.  It was 3 feet of solid wall unless she threw a George on it.


    ¡°You¡¯ll be happy to know that I¡¯ve wisely resisted using Georges to let him barrel through both walls and back into the other side,¡± Lacey told Colt.


    ¡°Thank you,¡± Colt responded.  ¡°I¡¯m showing that the tunnel is nearly a third of the way through the mountain.  Eve¡¯s spells are making quick work of it.¡±


    ¡°It would have been funny,¡± Lacey complained lightly, her mood lifted by the greatly decreased wait on their escape hatch.


    ¡°Foolish,¡± Colt texted back.


    ¡°But funny,¡± she bantered, liking new Lacey, who almost didn¡¯t care.


    ¡°Funny, but only if you don¡¯t do it,¡± Colt countered.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been having a conversation with the jerk down here,¡± Lacey stuck her thumb at the wall next to her where Monty was still throwing himself against it.  ¡°He¡¯s not half as amusing as our made-up dialogue was for all of them when we couldn¡¯t hear this.¡±


    ¡°Anything revealing?¡± Colt asked.


    ¡°Not at all,¡± Lacey frowned.  ¡°Why is he so stuck on the idea of working with Hughe though?  Couldn¡¯t he have cut out the middleman by dealing directly with us?¡±


    ¡°Not really,¡± Colt answered her.  ¡°The dungeon will revert to Hughe next and while they can kill him and take over the dungeon, they can only cash it out for money.¡±


    ¡°Then why does he keep saying he can use it to level up his entire guild and then make money off of it?¡± Lacey asked.  ¡°We have to be missing something.¡±


    ¡°Not unless he¡¯s nobility or something,¡± Colt said.


    ¡°He is a Lord,¡± Lacey snapped her fingers.  ¡°Does that make a difference?¡±


    ¡°That would do it,¡± Colt texted back.  ¡°Nobility can quick-claim a dungeon, but the dungeon has to submit willingly.  Otherwise, it would be slavery.¡±


    ¡°You think Hughe knows that?¡± Lacey asked.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    ¡°So, let¡¯s say witless here talks to Hughe and finds out that Hughe is an idiot who doesn¡¯t know the rules,¡± Lacey pondered in text to Colt.  ¡°He tells Hughe that he has to turn the dungeon over willingly, a little fudging of the real rules, and Hughe thinks he¡¯s giving up the dungeon altogether in return for membership in this Lord¡¯s guild.  But Monty here really means to enslave Hughe as the dungeon master.  Maybe that¡¯s why he doesn¡¯t want to deal with us.¡±


    ¡°He figures we know better?¡± Colt considered it.


    ¡°Maybe at first he didn¡¯t figure that way, but once he didn¡¯t defeat the dungeon right away?¡± Lacey fingered the George in her pocket.  Monty had slumped down the wall to rest, but there was another vibration beneath her feet that let her know that her side of this equation was still on track.


    ¡°He¡¯s thinking we¡¯re not such noobs after all,¡± Colt mused.  ¡°But what¡¯s with the incursions?  If we were out of the tutorial, we could just close the dungeon for a few days or maybe even a few months.  Do you think he doesn¡¯t know?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m guessing this guy knows more than we do about all of this,¡± Lacey muttered under her breath.  ¡°He¡¯s a silver spoon.  That means he¡¯s been schooled on the rules his whole life.  There¡¯s some loophole he¡¯s counting on or something.  This siege is too organized and methodical.  Why go through all that if we could just shut it down when we¡¯ve had enough?¡±


    ¡°Maybe he knows we¡¯re still in the tutorial?¡±


    ¡°If he doesn¡¯t know it, he¡¯s guessing something like it.¡±  Lacey rewound the key to the fire trap, dribbling what little moonshine they had left into the fuel tank.  Adam hadn¡¯t touched the tank or the key, a guilty look on his face.  He and his elites were helpfully resetting most traps, but they wouldn¡¯t touch the ones with moonshine.  Lacey just rolled her eyes and imagined someone like Monty running a dungeon.  It was madness.

 Chapter 42 – If You Give a Goblin a Monumental Task

    Lacey bent over the body of the mage, looting it for magical items that could help level up the dungeon. It frustrated her that they could level so quickly and so far, and yet not be out of the tutorial. It made her think that there was something wrong with the system. She took a wand and the robes. It had been silly of Monty to just leave it there as he searched the wall near the well for hidden levers that could open some secret door. She¡¯d used her favorite George to drag the body into the maintenance corridor before looting it. The shield the mage had used was actually in one of the rings. With all the timing out, they hadn¡¯t had a chance to loot stuff off the group that kept coming in. Lacey put the ring on.


    Then again, they hadn¡¯t had to spend the credits to reset the dungeon either. With this group dying, they wouldn¡¯t get the automatic reset they¡¯d been getting all this time. If they didn¡¯t manage to find a way to close the dungeon, they were going to lose a lot a credits resetting these rooms. That was why they¡¯d only let the first floor of newbie rooms be defeated before layering in the Tombs with traps to destroy their unwelcome guests. The Tombs could be reset manually since they were basically just a bunch of traps and the small flock of Gossowaries that goblins could lead up from pens beneath this floor while the quickly reset first floor slowed down the party of adventurers.


    They hadn¡¯t really expected to get so close to wiping out the party so soon. The newbie rooms were almost nothing to reset from the pedestal. Even if something went vastly wrong, they were ready for another incursion. If the fighter died and another group came in, they¡¯d spend credits to reset the first floor. If one of the Tombs was broken, they¡¯d swap it out for a backup. The Tomb would only be broken if the final room¡¯s mural was parted for access to the next Tomb.


    They had plans and backup plans, but the longer Lacey had to sit in a tunnel and wait, the more her anxiety came back. There was no guarantee that the end of the tutorial would even end their troubles with this guild. Monty was tight-lipped. Lacey and Colt thought they understood the guild¡¯s plans but what if they¡¯d missed something, some rule that would blow up these plans like most of the previous ones. The anxiety was from the concept that every time they¡¯d thought they finally had things under control, some new crazy rule would nerf their plans or add some new hoop to jump through to get out of trouble.


    Lacey checked the periscope nearest to Monty, but he just sat there like it would all work out for him. Lacey was struck by the unfairness of him being able to not be worried, while she chewed and chewed on the skin around her nails. She¡¯d tried to draw but had only managed to sketch a few alternate water traps. Unless the adventurers had water breathing, Colt and Lacey were pretty confident that they could now drown the lot of them in a tunnel collapse. If they did have water breathing, she and Colt had a few aquatic versions of Chuck and Muck, a mer-goblin, and a few kracken-like beings that were nowhere near big enough to worry the likes of Monty.


    The problem was that while Lacey could draw magnificently terrifying beings, they were stuck at the levels the dungeon could produce. Lacey had drawn dragons only to have them come out as babies that could sit on a person¡¯s shoulder. They even had breath weapons, but the lightning of the blue dragons only did a significant amount of damage if someone was in plate mail armor and standing in a puddle and didn¡¯t save. They had a trap like that in the fourth Aztec Tomb. One had to wade through a pool of 3¡¯ deep water in a 30¡¯ section of tunnel where little blue dragons would poke their heads out of walls just long enough to electrocute the water. There was another one of those traps in the cleric¡¯s hell level down below, but it hadn¡¯t turned out to be necessary since Gimbol had been unlucky enough to hit his head on the way down the slides.


    They used the green dragon babies to provide the poison cloud that descended out of the ceiling if a puzzle was done wrong at the end of this Tomb, but Monty seemed content to sit on his butt here in the beginning of the maze. Lacey knew that she was just doing her job to stall him here, but it was boring. She once again erased a section of plating used to trigger the sinking floor of the trap she was working on drawing.


    ¡°They are halfway to the surface,¡± Colt texted.


    ¡°Thanks for the update,¡± Lacey blew out a breath. ¡°This guy is boring as hell.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s probably just waiting out the timer so he can come back in with a bigger party,¡± Colt replied.


    ¡°That makes sense,¡± Lacey got up to check on Monty through the periscope again. She had to push Adam aside. The elites had taken turns watching the adventurer eat his rations of dried meat, polish and sharpen his massively overcompensating sword, and try to take a nap. When Monty snored, Lacey would do something fun to wake him up, but he¡¯d given up on sleep when she¡¯d screamed like a blond girl in an old horror flick.


    ¡°I¡¯m thinking when the goblins get to the last hundred feet or so, we¡¯ll have the diggers work by hand to make a small hole to make sure the exit is relatively safe,¡± Colt reported.


    ¡°The worst that can happen is that another party comes in, wipes out the goblins there, and gets a free pass into the fourth Aztec Tomb,¡± Lacey told him. ¡°If the traps in this one took out Monty¡¯s party so easily, the fourth Tomb can take out a new party.¡±Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.


    ¡°You can¡¯t work both sets of traps,¡± Colt warned.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± Lacey gave him a thumbs up toward the ceiling. ¡°Adam and his crew are getting the hang of the traps in this one. I think we can trust them to keep Monty on his toes. If he ever decides to move.¡±


    ¡°Ugh,¡± Colt¡¯s thoughts came through their interface. ¡°Another round of hurry up and wait!¡±


    It really helped to know that she wasn¡¯t the only one sick of this game. Sure, every game had a point where a person just had to grind their way through, but Lacey was normally the one to go play another game at that point. Colt didn¡¯t mind the grind half as much as she did. If even his patience was being tested, she was pretty proud of her ability to grind in this one. The worst part was knowing that it could change at any moment back to the hurry part.


    ¡°What about this one?¡± she held her completed trap up for Colt to see through his display.


    ¡°Looks good,¡± Colt answered. ¡°You could send it down here with a goblin.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll wait until I have a few more before I send an elite down there,¡± Lacey gave him a wave. ¡°No need to multiply the risks.¡±


    ¡°You should get yourself a couple of workers, just a few runners,¡± Colt suggested.


    ¡°Yeah, maybe,¡± Lacey mused, starting a new drawing of an aquatic monster she¡¯d though of while she was working on the trap mechanism for the previous drawing. ¡°But while this maintenance tunnel is big enough for a dozen of us, if I have to move to the next one, it¡¯ll be cramped with just who we have here.¡±


    ¡°I was thinking about that,¡± Colt said. ¡°If they have to clear the dungeon, how could they do that with us in maintenance tunnels? If only the Georges can get in and out of those tunnels and they don¡¯t have access to Georges, then they can¡¯t wipe the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°Not bad,¡± Lacey raised her eyebrows, but didn¡¯t stop drawing. ¡°But if they kill you, they have Georges.¡±


    ¡°True,¡± he admitted. ¡°But if we put a closet bunkroom somewhere pretty random, they¡¯d have to search a whole dungeon for a single wall. I don¡¯t think they could find you if you were hiding. At least they couldn¡¯t in the 10-hour time limit.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re probably right,¡± Lacey looked up at the ceiling. ¡°Monty knows I¡¯m in here and he can¡¯t get to me. He hasn¡¯t figured out that there isn¡¯t some secret door to access where I am. Even if some group got to us and looted a marble off of one of us, do you think they¡¯d figure out how to use them?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Colt scoffed with an lol in the text. ¡°I think we may actually have figured out how not to get wiped at all.¡±


    ¡°Worst case scenario is the two of us hiding in secret rooms with George-only entrances,¡± Lacey gave a shrug. ¡°I¡¯m sure they¡¯ll find some way to nerf it though, but I haven¡¯t seen how.¡±


    ¡°They¡¯d have to take away the Georges altogether,¡± Colt proposed.


    ¡°Great,¡± Lacey scowled at the ceiling and turned the page on the half-drawn monster. ¡°Now I have to come up with a place to hide that doesn¡¯t use Georges!¡±


    Lacey began to scribble furiously, ignoring the lol from Colt that she did not consider funny. The resulting map was a massive maze of secret and one-way doors with 3¡¯ foot thick walls and narrow 3¡¯ wide hallways with enough water traps to drown anyone and everyone except a rogue. For the rogue, she designed a few trapped disarming mechanisms. And for the mage that had levitate, she added enough collapsing tunnels and underwater passages to kill a mer-goblin, not that she tested that.


    She sent the drawings to Colt. An elite ran them to the nearest worker goblin they found that wasn¡¯t working on the tunnel out. That worker goblin then took it to a goblin that was about to go to sleep for the night, who took the stack of pages into the control room where Colt was waiting. Colt added the pages to the things he¡¯d add to the pedestal during the next break in incursions, just in case it came.


    ¡°They¡¯ve switched to manual digging,¡± Colt told her after confirming that he¡¯d gotten the maps. ¡°It shouldn¡¯t be long now.¡±


    ¡°That didn¡¯t take nearly as long as we expected,¡± Lacey sent back to him, wondering to herself how Monty had the patience to just sit there and do nothing. She couldn¡¯t have done it. ¡°Did it?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so,¡± Colt replied. ¡°Eve and her group really sped things up with the explosions. I think Ginger was expecting Eve to pull a prima donna routine, but she really pulled her weight this time. When Eve ran out of mana, she set her assistant to take over. With rotations, all the workers had to do was clear, and figure out some creative places to store all that rock. The bat cave and whole first floor is packed full of rock.¡±


    ¡°So, they might not even be able to get into the dungeon next time?¡± Lacey considered that thought.


    ¡°Maybe, or maybe it¡¯ll all clear when we reset the rooms,¡± Colt said. ¡°In any case, that wasn¡¯t enough space for all the debris. They¡¯ve got the new passage cleared enough to allow a small group to climb a really long flight of stadium stairs, but they had to get creative. We have crafting goblins laying gravel paths with the smallest pieces, new mason-specialized goblins creating rooms in their caverns by shaping some of it into brick-like pieces, and I think we might have a budding sculptor goblin creating a statue out of a huge chunk of rock.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s more industrious than I¡¯d expected,¡± Lacey admitted, scratching her head. ¡°I didn¡¯t even think about what we¡¯d do with all that excavation material without access to the pedestal.¡± Goblins could have delivered the excavation materials to the pedestal but then the goblins wouldn¡¯t have been able to go out of the control room. That would have led to a very crowded control room and very few goblins left to do any work. Lacey was glad they¡¯d found a way around that.


    ¡°There¡¯s more good news,¡± Colt sent to her. ¡°We have gems.¡±


    ¡°Gems?¡± Lacey perked up.


    ¡°Whole buckets full of semi-precious stones including some gorgeous quartz formations, and a handful of geodes that are really pretty,¡± Colt admitted. ¡°They have that stuff waiting in the water cavern on the steps to the control room so we can try to dump as many as we can into the pedestal the next chance we get.¡±


    ¡°You said gems, and I was thinking diamonds or something that would mean we were rich,¡± Lacey gave him a baleful glare.


    ¡°Not rich, but it¡¯ll help our credit balance more than plain rock and coal,¡± Colt chided her gently. ¡°At least I didn¡¯t tease you with the pyrite.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s only because you know I wouldn¡¯t be fooled by fool¡¯s gold,¡± Lacey shook her finger at the ceiling. Then she thought for a bit. ¡°I wonder if someone else might.¡±

 Chapter 43 – If You Kill the Snake Between Monty’s Legs

    ¡°Are you really just going to sit there for 10 hours?¡± Lacey goaded the fighter, who was dozing lightly in the tunnel next to them.


    ¡°I¡¯d explore the dungeon, but you killed my rogue and filled the place with traps,¡± Lord Montgomery barely moved from where he leaned against a wall that wasn¡¯t in line with any of Lacey¡¯s traps.  Out of what Lacey figured was sheer boredom, he¡¯d moved forward far enough that she¡¯d had to change maintenance tunnels to keep an eye on him.


    ¡°But you found the sarcophagus and chains puzzle,¡± Lacey called to him.


    While he¡¯d made forward progress through the maze, Lacey had had to move to the original maintenance tunnel, focusing on the traps on the other side of the tunnel.  He¡¯d practically tripped into the secret door that allowed him to take the same shortcut she¡¯d used to get to the largest maintenance tunnel before.  She¡¯d retraced his steps and used a George on the other side of the tunnel.  He now sat on the edge of another blood well, arms crossed over his chest, as he glared at the gauntlet that was the sarcophagus and chains puzzle.


    ¡°Where do they find sadists like you to be dungeon masters?¡± Monty said by way of an answer.


    ¡°I¡¯m not a sadist,¡± Lacey replied, acting offended.  ¡°I¡¯m a puzzle-maker and we are prized as those of highest intelligence where I come from.¡±  The truth was that puzzle-makers were easily replaced by AIs for the most part except in escape rooms.  The AI computers hadn¡¯t taken over the creativity of that venue yet.


    ¡°You must come from the land of sadists,¡± Monty insisted, and she had to hide a chuckle.


    He might have been right about this particular puzzle.  Lacey was proud of it.  Each sarcophagus held a cross between a plinko board and a pinball machine.  The player had two marbles and a plunger.  When the plunger shot the marble into the plinko board, it clanked and rattled louder than the rattlesnake that sneaked up behind the player of the puzzle.  With other party members, it might have been easy as the fighter cut up the snakes that came out of the bottom of the sarcophagus while someone nimbler or smarter played with the flippers to keep the marble in motion.  If the flipper was used correctly, the marble could be flipped into one of five slots, two of which were weight-sensitive to release keys.  One key could be used to open the panel where the treasure was and the other opened the lock on the chains across the passage forward.  As it was, the fighter dropped the marble down the ¡°no-win¡± hole every time because he was so busy killing the snake between his legs.


    ¡°This puzzle is more fun-and-easy than sadistic,¡± Lacey insisted.  ¡°You play a game of plinko pinball and win a prize and get to move forward.¡±


    ¡°Where one must again play your idiotic game to move forward again,¡± Monty¡¯s snide reply was bitter and cold.  ¡°And I suppose the endless corridor of chains is meant to encourage me to continue?  It is an endless hallway.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not endless,¡± Lacey denied his accusation as if it was silly.  ¡°There are only five chained doorways.  Easy peasy!  With your strength, you don¡¯t even need to do the puzzle, right?  You could just rip those chains right up!¡±


    ¡°Greased chains,¡± Monty grumped.  He had tried and it had been as funny as she and Colt had expected.  He had managed to pull the first chains loose from sheer frustration, but the second set of chains were not just slippery.  They were made up of metal-skinned snakes that exuded electricity.  Colt had dubbed them E-Cheels, for electronic chain eels.  They hadn¡¯t expected the jolt of electricity to transmit through a sword, but that was a nice bonus.


    ¡°The jolt wasn¡¯t that bad,¡± Lacey scolded him.  ¡°After all, our wimpy little dungeon can¡¯t cause enough damage to hurt the big, bad fighter guild leader!¡±  The fact that he was covered in metal had probably made it much worse than expected.


    ¡°Leave me be, you nattering nincompoop,¡± he growled at her, probably exhausting his most scathing insult on that one.


    Lacey giggled as she relayed the conversation to Colt with lots of little lols littered throughout the text box.


    ¡°They¡¯re through to the outside,¡± Colt¡¯s text seemed to bristle with tension.  ¡°Eve and the workers took turns napping to work after their normal sleep cycle.  I¡¯m proud of them.¡±Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.


    ¡°Me too, but tell me more!¡± Lacey thought back to him.


    ¡°It¡¯s clear outside and dark,¡± Colt told her.  ¡°The worker goblins are willing to go out and do the tasks.  Can you send a few elites to go with them?¡±


    ¡°I can take them there faster,¡± Lacey stood up straight, motioning the elites to go through a George exit.  She left Adam and one other elite to harry the guild leader.  She almost gave Adam a George so that he could move to another maintenance tunnel, but decided against it as she remembered what could happen if an adventurer got ahold of one of their Georges.  ¡°Watch Monty for me.  If he moves, I¡¯ll head back, but I¡¯m betting he¡¯ll stay put for as long as it would take me to get to the tunnel.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s further than you might think to the surface,¡± Colt cautioned her.  ¡°But I think it¡¯s pretty safe to say that Monty isn¡¯t getting through 4 Aztec Tombs in the next hour.¡±


    It wasn¡¯t like he could have talked her out of it.  He could easily see that she was already halfway through Tomb 3.  The dungeon wasn¡¯t as neat as she¡¯d left it once she hit the fourth Tomb where the excavation had started.  Workers were still ducking by her carrying buckets of soil.  At first, she wondered why they didn¡¯t just dump it outside, but they couldn¡¯t really afford to be detected yet, so she didn¡¯t redirect the workers.


    When Lacey saw the tunnel, she waved her escort past her.  They scrabbled up a path that had been reinforced with stones hammered in so they were stable.  They¡¯d made a crude, wide stairway up the inside of the mountain, not by carving it out of stable stone, but by hammering a few solid pieces into what was otherwise loose surface.  The earth was moist in most areas, but not quite wet enough to be mud.  It was easy to see that the blasts that Eve could do had made far bigger holes than were necessary.  The results were great caverns that sloped up at a daunting angle.


    Knowing that she should head back to keep an eye on Monty, Lacey found herself racing up the steps like she was some jock that loved doing stadiums.  The path that wound up the slope seemed to follow a vein of the softer soil in places that were easier to reinforce with the stone.  Worker goblins parted to allow her to run through until she ran out of steam.  Then she could only stand there panting.


    ¡°The workers are headed out now,¡± Colt told her as she was sucking air and cursing her disdain for aerobics classes.  ¡°You¡¯re about a tenth of the way there.  You¡¯re doing great.¡±


    Lacey had figured that she was at least halfway to the new entrance.  How had those goblins gotten up there so fast?  She put her head down and coaxed screaming muscles up another stadium¡¯s worth of steep steps, thinking that she hated Colt right then.  She hated Colt and Monty and every gym teacher that had ever urged her to consider stadium exercises a blessing to her health.  She made up a few people to hate just to get another ten steps.


    ¡°Wow,¡± she read Colt¡¯s text in the moments that she was bent over sucking air into raging lungs.  ¡°You made it to a third of the way, I think.¡±


    ¡°Fuck you,¡± she sent back on a thought, too breathless to say it in words out loud.  The walls had narrowed slightly with sloping piles of rock on either side of her.


    She got an LOL response and rolled her eyes.


    ¡°It¡¯s a quarter mile of stairs, Lacey,¡± Colt sent to her as she collapsed into a heap of panting.


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound that far,¡± Lacey sent to him.  She glared at the steps as another worker went past with a bucket of pale-colored crystals.


    ¡°In a car, maybe,¡± Colt replied, more lols floating around the texts.  Was the texting system getting more sophisticated?


    ¡°I want to see the top!¡± Lacey ground out between clenched teeth as she got back up.


    ¡°Would it slow you down to tell you that Monty is moving again?¡±


    ¡°Is he?¡± Lacey paused.


    ¡°No, but I was hoping it could convince you not to do this,¡± Colt¡¯s words came back, and she could imagine his wince.  ¡°You look miserable, and I hate seeing you that way.¡±


    ¡°Sorry to torture you with my misery,¡± Lacey growled the thought into the chat that inserted some grr emojis.


    ¡°Fine, I¡¯ll encourage then,¡± Colt¡¯s words flitted across her fuzzy vision.  ¡°Go. Lacey. Go!¡±


    Lacey stomped one foot and then the other up those steps, knowing that she was being unreasonable.  She wasn¡¯t mad, but mad helped her climb.  Her body got numb and her mind cleared of everything but the next step.  She passed the point where Eve and her crew were headed back down the stairs.  Eve paused to watch Lacey trudge by.


    ¡°You can do it!¡± came Colt¡¯s encouragement.


    Lacey made it to the smaller tunnel just as one worker darted past with a bucket of berries.  Her muscles pulsed, but they hadn¡¯t hit any real pain yet.  She thought, belatedly, that she probably should have stretched before attempting this idiotic thing.  She let another goblin with dirt pass her before she squeezed into a tunnel that was barely big enough for a bigger goblin.  Luckily, she wasn¡¯t much bigger than Eve.


    By the time she reached the modest opening, she had backed two goblins up until they were outside the dungeon.  Some part of her knew that this opening would be no different than the main entrance to the dungeon.  She wouldn¡¯t be able to get out from under all this dirt just because this one was on the other side of the mountain.  Irrationally, she ignored all that and surged toward the dark blue sky beyond.


    Of course, she hit the invisible wall.

 Chapter 44 – Tutorial Complete

    The charitable worker goblins dug around Lacey as she let herself sit there at the new entrance and stare out over the vista. The entrance on this side of the mountain was higher than the one on the other side. It wasn¡¯t so high that the nimble little goblins couldn¡¯t scramble down the rock face to the forest floor, but it was high enough that Lacey could see over the trees and out into a neat little valley, pristine and empty of people. She, as a very good little introvert, thought it looked like a little piece of heaven. There were no roads, and no smoke from fires and, most importantly, no people for miles in all directions.


    The moon shone over the valley, creating dots of sparkling blue on the surface of a river that ran through the valley. Lacey let herself breathe in the night air that could travel through the invisible barrier that she could not. It smelled of pine sap, dirt, and the ever-present odor of goblins that she¡¯d grown used to over the time she¡¯d been there. When one thought of a storybook fairy tale world, this was what came to Lacey¡¯s mind.


    ¡°Lacey!¡± scrolled across the bottom of her vision and then repeated itself several times before she acknowledged it.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Are you done drooling over the outside?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    Sigh emoji.


    ¡°Fine, what?¡± Lacey said, but her mind was lost in the possibilities of what she could do with that space behind the mountain. If only she could keep it out of the hands of the voraciously greedy world.


    ¡°We completed the tutorial!¡± Colt announced. ¡°And we got a great big chest of treasure sitting down here in the control room. It¡¯s glowing.¡±


    ¡°Does it have bulletproof glass in it?¡± Lacey replied, loathe to return to reality. ¡°Because then we could have nice skyrise offices up here and there is the greatest view! We could install it on all the floors and have a clear view of our dungeon empire!¡±


    ¡°Funny girl,¡± Colt replied, the text deadpan. ¡°I just thought you might want to saunter your butt down those stairs long enough to go kill that fighter so we can close the dungeon for a week for repairs, maybe go home for Sunday dinner at mom¡¯s and open this beautiful golden chest.¡±


    ¡°Wait, really?¡± Lacey¡¯s attention had been snagged. She took one last glance at the vista and then turned back into the mountain to find that their little crawlspace had been expanded to a walkway that detoured around where she¡¯d been laying.


    ¡°Yeah, but I¡¯m not opening the chest without you, and I¡¯m not shutting down the dungeon until you go kill that blowhard that¡¯s been trying to break us.¡±


    ¡°Could you shut it down with him in it?¡± her curiosity got the best of her.


    ¡°It looks like it, but I¡¯d rather have him dead first,¡± Colt replied. ¡°With our luck, if I closed the dungeon now, he¡¯d get to walk out of this unscathed.¡±


    Lacey checked and the dungeon was still red. The stairs weren¡¯t quite as hard going down as they¡¯d been going up, but her misused muscles protested with a bevy of cramps. She limped and muttered under her breath all the way down. ¡°Can we really truly close the dungeon for repairs?¡±


    ¡°It costs credits, but it¡¯s possible.¡±


    ¡°And we can go home for a break?¡± Lacey asked again.


    ¡°Credits.¡±


    ¡°Like how many credits?¡± Lacey sat on a step halfway down that was probably only a third of the way down. ¡°Probably a billion credits and we have to choose between the two because one or the other will break the bank.¡±


    ¡°Not quite, but I¡¯m hoping the gem deposits will help.¡± Colt told her, as she thumped a fist against muscles that just wanted to sit there and shake. ¡°Not enough that we could close the dungeon for good, but enough to get home for dinner. If you could just finish off that fighter so we can turn the dungeon blue, I can see how much those semi-precious stones are going to sell for.¡±


    ¡°You want me to believe that you haven¡¯t coaxed a worker goblin to bring in some of that stuff to see what it¡¯s worth?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t think of that,¡± he admitted, but she wasn¡¯t sure she believed him. It was easier to fib over text and he was working on motivating her to move. She didn¡¯t begrudge Colt the lapse of judgement either way. She did need motivation, and he was a little preoccupied with providing it.


    Something would go wrong. Lacey let the elite goblins help her down the stairs when she couldn¡¯t stop her legs from shaking. She tried to prepare herself for the next horrific crisis that would threaten the dream, her mind swirling on possibilities of the things they¡¯d missed or somehow messed up.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    ¡°Is that bastard still stalling next to the sarcophagus puzzle?¡± Lacey asked Colt.


    ¡°Like his ass is glued to the wall,¡± Colt replied. ¡°I know what you¡¯re thinking and I¡¯m thinking it too.¡±


    Did he know that her mind was racing through all the ways that they could still be screwed?


    ¡°You¡¯re thinking that there¡¯s got to be a catch,¡± Colt went on.


    Of course, he knew. Lacey¡¯s throat got thick with emotion, so she just held a thumbs up to the camera as she crawled through a George-hole to the 3<sup>rd</sup> Tomb.


    ¡°You¡¯re thinking that they¡¯re going to yank all this out from under us.¡±


    Lacey pressed her lips together. No matter how many Hallmark Christmas movies she¡¯d watched, she still didn¡¯t think she could believe in happy endings.


    ¡°But you know what they can¡¯t take away from us?¡±


    Lacey blew out a slow breath as she took down the George and headed for the other end of the 3<sup>rd</sup> Aztec Tomb. Now that her muscles were working out the cramps, she felt like she could pick up the pace. She jogged through the 2<sup>nd</sup> Tomb, knowing that her paranoia had greatly overestimated this group¡¯s power over Lacey and Colt¡¯s positions as dungeon masters. Still, it was better to have backup and not need it than to get murdered in their control room.


    ¡°Killing this guy.¡±


    Lacey could think of a dozen ways that even that could still go wrong. The monitor could be faulty and have frozen on the screen where Monty was hanging out like he owned the place already. He could be playing possum. The goblins could secretly be spying for Monty and his guild. Helluna could have come back and was even now sneaking up behind Lacey for revenge, even though Lacey was tucked safely in the center of 4 elite goblin guards.


    Lacey had dealt with this anxiety for as long as she could remember. If there was a way for her wild imagination to summon up bat-shit-crazy scenarios of doom for her and her friends, it did it. It did it over morning cereal. It did it on math tests. It did it on engineering projects. It even did it during senior trip to a local amusement park. While this anxiety taunted her with outlandish possibilities, Lacey found solace in the very fact that the scenarios were so out there. If there was a feasible scenario in the mess of possibilities that her anxiety created, Lacey might give in to the worry and choose caution over foolishness.


    Instead, Lacey was mapping out exactly which trap she wanted to set before meeting the guy face-to-face. It was reckless, foolish, crazy. Then again, her anxiety was busy still positing idiocy, so it hadn¡¯t caught up with her recklessness.


    ¡°Yo, Monty baby,¡± Lacey slid into the first maintenance tunnel and set a three-tile trap. ¡°Miss me?¡±


    ¡°You were gone?¡± Lord Montgomery drawled out. ¡°Out to the lady¡¯s room to powder your nose?¡±


    ¡°I knew I forgot something,¡± Lacey snapped her fingers and tried to ignore her sudden need to pee. The water wasn¡¯t literally running, but having set the trap, her mind imagining running water made her wish she¡¯d taken care of it. She didn¡¯t dare stop now, though or her anxiety would come up with something feasible to stop her and what fun would that be?


    ¡°What new weak and useless taunts do you have to share?¡± Monty sounded amused.


    ¡°Actually, I¡¯ve grown quite fond of these conversations with you,¡± Lacey called back to him. ¡°So fond of them that I figure we should meet face to face.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± he sounded dubious. He should.


    ¡°Sure,¡± Lacey replied, tossing George up on the wall and stepping through. There was a large U-shaped tunnel between her and Monty. ¡°Can¡¯t you hear my voice has changed. I¡¯m closer now. Let¡¯s play tag. You¡¯re it.¡±


    ¡°What is this tag?¡± Monty¡¯s voice got a tiny bit closer.


    ¡°He¡¯s coming, but slowly.¡± Colt¡¯s text told her. She appreciated that he wasn¡¯t talking her out of this. Colt wouldn¡¯t even try. He did know her.


    ¡°It¡¯s simple,¡± Lacey called, backing up over tiles that quivered under her weight. ¡°Catch me if you can.¡± If she¡¯d done it right, she didn¡¯t weigh enough to set it off, as small as she was and in her leather armor. He¡¯d already been down this hallway with no harm befalling him.


    ¡°And you expect me to believe that you would just let me catch you?¡± Monty turned the corner and stopped at the sight of her.


    ¡°Hi,¡± she smiled at him, stepping back off the dangerous tiles.


    ¡°You are stupid,¡± he shook his head at her and took a step forward.


    ¡°Guess so,¡± she smiled, taking a step back until her back hit the wall.


    ¡°I¡¯ve already been down this hallway,¡± he told her, his smile growing mean.


    ¡°Have you?¡± she leaned back against the wall, then feigned surprise, looking behind her.


    ¡°Oh, I see,¡± he laughed at her look. ¡°You thought that secret door would save you. Did you miss the trigger for it? If I see you reach for it, I¡¯ll remember and then I¡¯ll be within your walls.¡±


    Lacey narrowed her eyes then looked down the hallway to her left.


    No longer worried about a trap, Monty lunged forward and broke through the thin flooring that had been floating carefully over a 30¡¯ deep pool of water. His hands scrabbled at the walls, but the weight of his armor pulled him down so quickly that he didn¡¯t manage to grasp the lip of the pool behind him.


    A George appeared on the other side of the water trap, 30¡¯ from where Lacey stood. She¡¯d left them with Adam, not daring to get caught with a George on her. Adam stepped out from the maintenance tunnel, his elites crowding out around him as they gazed into the pool. Bubbles came up and the water churned.


    Lacey sat at the edge of the pool and watched like it was a couple of koi in a pond. A gauntlet-free hand thrust up out of the water on the goblin¡¯s side. She¡¯d wondered if he¡¯d chuck off the armor in time. The hand pulled his head up, but lost its grip as Adam poked it with the sword Hughe had probably gotten from Monty. She doubted that Monty would see the irony, but Lacey enjoyed it. To be fair, Adam more than poked it. The water grew murky with the blood, but the hand floated to the top. She put her chin in her hand, her elbow on her knee and legs crossed.


    Bubbles surfaced, reminding Lacey of a hot tub. She scooted back a bit to avoid the splash of water on her side of the pool. She¡¯d wondered how she would feel, seeing her tormentor suffer and die. He was a game construct, and he would respawn to torture some new person. Some part of her should have shuddered in disgust at her lack of empathy. It didn¡¯t. She was okay with that. The imagery was hidden underneath the cloudy churning water, but they knew when it was done because the dungeon turned blue.


    All she could think was that it didn¡¯t have to be this way, which led her to muse on how it could have been better.

 Chapter 45 – If You Give a DM Champagne and Caviar

    ¡°What do we do first?¡± Colt asked her. He¡¯d quickly moved the Aztec Tomb into a place right beside the control room so that she could simply cross the hallway to join him. ¡°Open the treasure chest or close the dungeon?¡±


    ¡°Close the dungeon,¡± Lacey answered him, collapsing on the lower bunk and toeing off her boots.


    ¡°But what if there¡¯s a credit or coupon for closing the dungeon in there?¡± he fretted. Now that it was said and done, he was wired with possibilities.


    ¡°Close the dungeon, Colt,¡± Lacey told him, folding an arm over her eyes. She, on the other hand, was exhausted and just wanted to sleep in a comfortable bed for a few days. Her thighs still throbbed.


    ¡°Right,¡± he said, and within moments, the dungeon turned a new color; yellow. The color was so subtle that it was almost hard to see that there was any color to it at all. ¡°We are now closed for 7 full days and nights. I feel like we just bought a cruise or something.¡±


    ¡°It was that expensive?¡± Lacey groaned out, moving her arm to squint at Colt.


    ¡°A cheapie cruise, but yeah,¡± Colt waggled his hand. ¡°Then again, if we waited for last minute deals, a goblin cost as much as a really cheap cruise.¡±


    ¡°Not that we¡¯d know,¡± Lacey levered herself up to a sitting position. Sleep was not in her immediate future with Colt this wired.


    ¡°True, but it doesn¡¯t hurt to look,¡± he temporized.


    ¡°You look up cruise prices in your spare time?¡± Lacey cocked her head at him.


    ¡°Maybe,¡± he muttered, like he was admitting to some sketchy sexual kink to his grandmother. ¡°Anyway. That¡¯s not important, but this baby is definitely important! Look at how big it is!¡±


    The chest that stood in the middle of the room was bigger than their table. It shimmered like someone had dipped it in glow-stick neon gold coloring. It gave Lacey a headache. Good things in her life were oftentimes not so good. She didn¡¯t jump around on Christmas mornings because her dad was sleeping in with whomever he¡¯d brought home from whatever Christmas Eve party he¡¯d attended. Holidays, in general, were times that she was forced to stay home because they were family ordeals, and yet both she and her father resented the time they were forced to spend pretending to be happy to celebrate the holidays together.


    It had all gotten a little better once she¡¯d moved out and she and Colt had celebrated with his family, but those childhood memories were more ingrained in her. So much so that she still tended to flinch at supposedly ¡°good¡± stuff. Colt made up for it by being even more excited. Lacey tried to summon up some surface excitement to cover the dread that settled like a pit in her stomach.


    ¡°Open the chest already,¡± she turned on a smile for him that he pretended to believe.


    ¡°Open it with me,¡± he leapt like a kid to her side to pull her up off the bed and over to the chest.


    They each took a corner of the chest, and Lacey finally gave a real smile, charmed by his exuberance. She couldn¡¯t help it, and he knew it. He gave her a wink. Did he know? Of course, he did. With a great heave, they flipped open the top of it and stared like a couple of kids were supposed to be at Christmas.


    Streamers and confetti flew from the chest like it had been shot out of a canon at a festival. There were booms and fanfare music that came from nowhere. The lights dimmed briefly, reminding Lacey of when they¡¯d won the escape room tournament that had started it all. ¡°Congratulations Dungeon Masters¡± hung and flashed in the air above the chest in bright neon fuchsia.


    Lacey laughed. She couldn¡¯t help it. Colt dipped to the floor as the lights in the control room took on the strobing effect of a rave. When he came up, he had a neon party hat and a plastic horn blower. Lacey looked around on the ground and found herself a pair of neon glasses and a noisemaker that squiggled out a paper worm when she blew on it. Inside the chest, right on top, was a pizza box directly from Metro Pizza, their favorite pizzeria in Vegas.


    ¡°No way!¡± Colt dropped to his knees and opened the pizza box. His eyes closed in bliss as he breathed in the aroma of garlic, pepperoni, and fresh roasted tomatoes.


    Lacey reached around him to grab a piece, amazed that the stuff was piping hot like they¡¯d just served it to the table. Colt snagged a piece and took a bite with a whimper of joy. There were two bottles of Colt¡¯s favorite beer and a perfectly chilled sixpack of soda in an honest-to-god ice bucket with real live ice in it. If they¡¯d been the champagne types, Lacey was sure that and caviar would have been in the chest. This was their version of champagne and caviar.The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    ¡°Okay, this was worth staying awake for,¡± Lacey grinned at Colt, who had folded over two pieces of pizza and was prying off the cap of his beer on the side of the chest.


    ¡°Hell yeah it was,¡± he grinned back at her. He tossed her a wad of fabric, then pulled another over his head, stretching it over the leather armor they had yet to take off.


    The fabric was a pair of T-shirts that said on them, ¡°My best friend got isekaied to a game world and all I got was this stupid dungeon.¡±


    Lacey shook her head at the t-shirt and took the time to shuck off her armor before putting her t-shirt on.


    ¡°Too soon?¡± Colt teased her, waving a few of the goblins into the room.


    ¡°A little,¡± Lacey admitted, pulling out the box of pizza only to find another one beneath it. She took the box to the table and set it down before going back for another one. When she grabbed 2 boxes, another popped up like it was on a spring.


    ¡°There¡¯s more?¡± Colt said, poking his head over her shoulder to gaze into the chest.


    ¡°A lot more,¡± she answered and slid off another ten pizza boxes.


    ¡°No way!¡± Colt took the boxes from her and held them over his head, shouting, ¡°Pizza party for everybody!!!¡±


    Goblins cheered, even though they couldn¡¯t know what pizza was. Pizza boxes were popped open and sodas passed around. The ice bucket also replenished itself of sodas, though the beer had been limited to the two, Colt snagging the second one before Adam could get it. That was fine with Lacey as she preferred the soda anyway.


    ¡°If there¡¯s cake and ice cream at the bottom of that chest, I¡¯ve officially died and gone to heaven,¡± Lacey swore, laughing at Ginger¡¯s face as she clucked at the expanding mess that was being created by goblins who lived up to their names and gobbled the pizza like they were hobbits who had been denied second breakfast for weeks.


    ¡°I¡¯d need there to be Felicia Day jumping out of the cake to think I¡¯d gone to heaven, but I¡¯ll settle for the cake and ice cream,¡± Colt gave Lacey a wolfish grin complete with a waggle of his eyebrows.


    ¡°Is it too late to order up Jensen and Jared?¡± Lacey smacked her forehead.


    ¡°I get dibs on Felicia first,¡± Colt teased her. ¡°I¡¯ll take the Impala, though.¡±


    Goblins danced. Gossowaries did too, though that one was a little disturbing. Lacey wandered down into the water cavern to find that most of the dungeon residents were partying in some way or another, with only the elites and Ginger doing their celebrating in the control room with Lacey and Colt. There had been enough pizza to have the boxes almost make another flooring for most of the cave, with some of them floating like little cardboard boats down the river. The strobing lights were accompanied by louder music in the larger cave. Having done her business, Lacey made her way past a dozen of her newest creations who were cavorting on the stairs, picking at odd pieces of shining confetti.


    The tiny creatures were her newest spies. They had little shrew bodies with tiny black bird wings and the beak of a crow. She had upped their venomous properties by including it in their little claws that held just a tiny bit of blowfish poison. While they were as small as her thumb, they would keep down the increasing insect activity that had infested the caves since the goblins had become a little messy. She had to keep them away from the worms though. Because of their crow-like attributes, they liked to take shiny bits back to their nests, making them perfect for rooting gems out of loose soil or adventurer pockets.


    ¡°Lacey!¡± Colt called out, a dart in one hand and a beer bottle in the other. ¡°I found a dartboard in there. Come play a round.¡±


    ¡°If that¡¯s your second beer, I¡¯ll pass,¡± Lacey waved him off. Colt got better at darts after his second beer and didn¡¯t get worse until after his fifth.


    ¡°Ginger won¡¯t play, and Adam gave up after Eve glared at him,¡± Colt gave Lacey what was supposed to be a charming smile.


    ¡°Ginger not play because Colt try to play while Ginger still trying to hang it up,¡± Ginger called out tartly over the music. ¡°And Colt drinking something that smell suspiciously like moonshine.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s my second beer or not, but I¡¯m pretty sure that the bottle keeps refilling itself, but only when I¡¯m holding it,¡± Colt stared down into an almost full bottle like it was a textbook that needed reading before the midterm in the morning. ¡°You want to try it?¡±


    ¡°No thanks, Colt,¡± Lacey laughed.


    ¡°No, really, look,¡± and he grinned at her and set the bottle on the ground. ¡°Go ahead and reach for it Adam.¡±


    Adam checked with Eve who gave the bottle stink-eye, but not Adam. As soon as Adam reached for the beer, the bottle was instantly empty. Colt went to pick it up and as soon as it left the ground, it was almost full again. Was it any more amazing than the pizza boxes that made the chest into an ever-full pez dispenser or the ice bucket with the endless soda and ever-frozen ice? To Colt, it probably was, but he¡¯d regret not keeping track of his consumption when morning came.


    ¡°Did you get to the bottom of the chest yet?¡± Lacey tried to distract Colt.


    ¡°Is there a bottom to it?¡± Colt spread his arms wide and laughed.


    ¡°There must be, right?¡± Lacey mused soft enough that Colt couldn¡¯t hear her. She didn¡¯t want to be a wet blanket. The soda was just as much of a balm to her as the beer was to him, but she wasn¡¯t going to have a hangover in the morning.


    ¡°Oh, I found this too,¡± Colt waved a small booklet at her until she took it.


    ¡°What is it? A mini-sketch book that tells me to get back to work?¡± she joked, but the weight that normally resided in her chest was lessened for the night, so it sounded more joke-like than normal Lacey had heard from herself.


    ¡°It¡¯s a coupon book,¡± Colt set his chin on one of her shoulders and draped an arm around her other one.


    ¡°This is for a feather bed upgrade,¡± Lacey leafed through the book with her mouth open. ¡°And a private suite?¡±


    ¡°There are a few in the back for a home visit and three free upgrades,¡± he said softly, and she turned to stare at him. ¡°Yeah, we get to go home.¡±


    ¡°Home,¡± she whispered, and her hands shook.


    ¡°Not for good, but yeah,¡± Colt kissed her cheek. ¡°For a person who supposedly didn¡¯t give a shit about home, you sound a little breathless.¡±

 Chapter 46 – If You Give a DM a Feather Bed

    Lacey wasted no time cashing in the suite of rooms and feather bed coupons. Their control room sprouted two fully furnished hotel rooms complete with the softest, most wonderful beds Lacey had ever slept upon. The bedside lights worked, as did the toilet and shower in the jack and jill bathroom they shared between them. Ginger poked her nose into dressers and pulled out what looked like Lacey¡¯s clothes from home. The closet was also full of clothing that was comfortingly familiar.


    The best part of the suite was that when Lacey shut the door to her room, it became blessedly silent even though the party still raged in the main room. The only thing lacking was a television, but Lacey didn¡¯t miss that at all. A gaming system would have been redundant considering that they were living the game. Lacey sat on the bed and nearly groaned. It started with just a moment to close her eyes in peace and ended with the gentle buzz of a bedside alarm clock. Lacey vaguely remembered Ginger peeling off her jeans and Colt tucking her in, so she wasn¡¯t alarmed by the lack of clothing.


    ¡°Hey sleepyhead,¡± Colt grinned at her still and that was a good thing to wake up to, so Lacey smiled back and stretched languidly.


    ¡°Hey back, handsome,¡± Lacey drawled out, bracing herself up on her elbows.


    ¡°Handsome?¡± Colt gave her suspicious look, running a hand through his hair. He turned to admire himself in the mirror. He was already dressed in a freshly laundered white-button-down shirt and black slacks, and it looked like he¡¯d had a shower. His tie was loose, but ready to tighten up as soon as his mother nagged at him to do it, which she would. Colt¡¯s version of a hangover was Mr. Chipper-happy-guy. It wasn¡¯t much different than Colt¡¯s normal demeanor, but he claimed it was a deterrent to drinking. ¡°I do have my sparkle on today, but that may have more to do with the toothbrush than the drinking I¡¯ve done, but we shall simply have to endure my studliness until this hangover wears off.¡±


    ¡°Do I get a shower before your cheerfulness starts making demands on me or must I begin to admire your studliness right away, dear sir?¡± Lacey got up and headed for the bathroom while Colt turned this way and that to check his appearance.


    ¡°You may shower,¡± he sniffed twice in the air and then sneezed. ¡°In fact, I believe you must. We must be presentable for my mother. Hopefully, my dastardly cheerfulness will wear off on the trip there or she will become suspicious.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re hopeless,¡± Lacey laughed and nudged the door half shut before she peeled off her clothes and got in the shower.


    ¡°I know it,¡± Colt called to her over the sound of the water. ¡°Ginger has already fallen prey to my undeniable charm this morning. She worshiped me by bringing a delightful breakfast of cold pizza to the altar of my awesomeness.¡±


    Lacey chuckled as blessedly warm water cascaded over her head and shoulders with a water pressure she¡¯d never experienced before. She washed her hair with shampoo that smelled expensive and her body with soap that lathered like it was made of foaming silk. Was it true that it was so luxurious? Not any more than Colt¡¯s pretense at vanity was. It just felt so much better since she hadn¡¯t had it in so long.


    ¡°Pick out some clothes for me?¡± Lacey called into the bedroom as she turned off the water and reached for a fluffy towel that was probably sold by the thread count.


    ¡°K!¡± he called back, and she heard rummaging, followed by the presence of his hand thrusting unmentionables at her through the opening. A minute later she had a skirt and blouse that would be suitable for church. They wouldn¡¯t get fed unless they went to church first. ¡°I already cashed in the coupon, but I don¡¯t know how it works exactly, so don¡¯t dawdle.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m working on it,¡± she wiggled into the nylons and stepped into a pair of modest heels. There wasn¡¯t any make-up in the bathroom, but that wasn¡¯t surprising since there wasn¡¯t any in Lacey¡¯s at home either. She couldn¡¯t stand the stuff. There was a hair dryer and curling iron, which she did use.


    ¡°Purse,¡± Colt stuck one of her purses through the crack of the door.


    The purse had her wallet and id, a stick of cola-flavored lip balm that was as close as Lacey came to lip gloss, and girl stuff discretely tucked in a zippered pocket. If it hadn¡¯t been for Colt¡¯s mom, Lacey would have never learned anything about the girl stuff. Taking a chance, Lacey popped open the mirrored medicine cabinet and found a small bottle of perfume, just like the one she had at home. It was a Christmas gift from Colt¡¯s mother. Out of respect, Lacey put a tiny dab behind each ear and swallowed past the lump in her throat.


    ¡°Ready,¡± Lacey emerged from the bathroom, tugging on the strap of one of her heels to get it in place.


    ¡°I found these,¡± Colt handed her a pair of earrings that matched her outfit better than the gold studs she currently wore, so she stood at the mirror to put them on. Colt shifted from foot to foot and his lack of banter let her know that he was nervous.The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go see how it works,¡± Lacey strode to the door like she knew what she was doing.


    Her hand on the door, Lacey staggered to a stop. The control room wasn¡¯t there like she¡¯d expected. Instead, she stood holding open the door to a broom closet at the church where she and Colt met his mother every weekend. Lacey looked behind her to see the hotel room, then back into the church hallway that was currently empty of people. Colt poked his head around her and whistled.


    ¡°That¡¯s a neat trick,¡± he said, pushing past her.


    For a moment, Lacey had trouble letting go of the door, not wanting to lose their crazy dungeon or the game world behind them. Reality and fantasy crashed together in her mind, and she shook her head to clear it, only it wouldn¡¯t clear.


    ¡°Colt!¡± came the voice of someone he knew from church. Colt blocked the open door behind Lacey, waving a hand behind his back for her to close it. ¡°It¡¯s good to see you. Is your mother here this early. I thought I saw her driving up and I need to ask her about the potluck next month. You wouldn¡¯t happen to know if she¡¯s bringing dessert or main course?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure,¡± Colt was saying as the nosy person tried to peer around him. ¡°Did you get the cleaner, Lacey?¡±


    ¡°There wasn¡¯t any in there,¡± Lacey professed, letting the door go and praying that she hadn¡¯t just lost it all because some busybody was pushy. The door clicked shut and her stomach lurched. Was this it? Was this the catch? Would they laugh about their delusions one day over a beer and pizza?


    ¡°What cleaner?¡± the woman asked, her smirk saying that she thought they¡¯d been up to no good rather than cleaner.


    ¡°I scuffed my shoe, and Colt told me to go look for something like glass cleaner in the closet,¡± Lacey improvised. ¡°I told him it¡¯s nothing, but he likes things tidy.¡±


    The biddies at the church had long since decided that Lacey and Colt were courting and would eventually get married, but that Colt was too shy to pull the trigger and ask her yet. The story varied, with only Colt¡¯s family knowing the truth, that she and Colt would never feel that way about each other. Colt let the stories fly because Lacey didn¡¯t care, and it kept the younger gals from sniffing around him as an eligible bachelor and supposedly upstanding church member. It also kept the older gals from endlessly trying to play matchmaker with every eligible young female in their families.


    ¡°Colt?¡± and Lacey sighed with a bit of relief at the sound of Colt¡¯s mother¡¯s voice.


    ¡°Mom!¡± Colt skirted around the nosy woman and hugged his mother like he hadn¡¯t seen her in a year.


    ¡°Always good to see you and Lacey at church,¡± she smiled around Colt at Lacey. ¡°Hello, sweetheart. Have you two had a good week?¡±


    Week? Lacey resisted the urge to look behind her at the door. She wanted to open it back up and see if their rooms in the dungeon were still there. ¡°It¡¯s been an eventful week,¡± Lacey hedged with a smile. Everybody smiled at church, but Lacey¡¯s smile for Colt¡¯s mom was always sincere.


    ¡°I can¡¯t wait to hear all about it over dinner,¡± Colt¡¯s mom let go of him and wrapped Lacey up in a side hug that led everyone in the hallway to the chapel where they belonged. ¡°You look lovely, as always, Lacey.¡±


    Church was uneventful. The programs said that they hadn¡¯t even missed a single weekend of service. How that happened was anyone¡¯s guess, but Lacey was voting for it being really powerful magic that still wanted them to come back. Her paranoia was peppered with asylum horror films. Colt might have been a tad shaky when he saw the date, but he was smiling again by the time they left for his childhood home.


    ¡°Tell me I¡¯m not crazy,¡± Colt muttered to her as his father hung up his jacket in the hall closet. The smell of a pot roast straight from heaven wafted out of the kitchen down the hallway and straight into Lacey¡¯s saliva glands.


    ¡°If you¡¯re crazy then I¡¯m crazy too,¡± Lacey stared a little too wide-eyed at him.


    ¡°It happened? With the tournament and everything afterward?¡± Colt returned her stare as Colt¡¯s dad patted him in passing.


    ¡°Don¡¯t keep your mother waiting, son,¡± Colt¡¯s dad said in a low tone.


    ¡°Never,¡± Colt smiled at his dad and then turned wild eyes back to Lacey. ¡°Goblins?¡±


    ¡°Ginger?¡± she replied in a short-cut she hoped was vague enough but not.


    ¡°Holy ¨C ¡°


    ¡°Yep,¡± she cut him off before he invoked the mom scolding, because if he had sworn in his mom¡¯s house, even as quietly as a mouse, she¡¯d have heard it.


    ¡°Are you two going to stay in the hall all afternoon?¡± his mom¡¯s voice broke them out of their staring match as they tried to tell each other they weren¡¯t crazy using only their eyes.


    ¡°Coming,¡± Colt shook himself and turned to enter the dining room.


    Was the dinner amazing? Yes. Did they tell his parents about their tournament? Yes. Did they say anything about being transported to a game world where they killed people? Hell no!


    Colt looked a little pale as he pulled at the tie he was still wearing, the door to the street behind them.


    ¡°You¡¯re sure you don¡¯t want a ride home?¡± his mom was asking.


    ¡°Is your car in the shop?¡± his dad put in.


    ¡°We¡¯re good,¡± Lacey answered for both of them, stepping out onto the porch. ¡°We¡¯ll just walk to the church and catch the bus from there.¡±


    ¡°The car¡¯s fine,¡± Colt told his dad¡¯s creased brows.


    ¡°Do you need money?¡± his father stepped out onto the porch, pulling a wallet out of his back pocket. Colt¡¯s parents didn¡¯t have a lot, but they often helped out their children when they got in a little financial bind, like car repairs or doctor bills.


    ¡°I,¡± Colt paused, then finished with, ¡°think we have it covered. I¡¯ll call you later this week if that changes, but if you don¡¯t hear from me, it¡¯s all good. We¡¯ll see you soon. Okay, Pops?¡±


    ¡°We might have won the tournament,¡± Lacey admitted, reluctantly. ¡°If we did, then we¡¯re all good.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, we¡¯re still waiting to find out,¡± Colt frowned.


    ¡°Call if you need,¡± Colt¡¯s dad looked confused, but ended up with hugs and smiles as they left.


    ¡°I will, dad,¡± Colt waved behind them. ¡°I love you.¡±


    ¡°Love you too, kid,¡± his dad was still waving as they smilingly turned the corner of the house and broke into a run.

 Chapter 46.5 – Epilogue

    Colt and Lacey didn¡¯t stop until they reached the church, Lacey¡¯s muscles protesting in a way that reminded her that she¡¯d recently overused them. Colt¡¯s tie hung over his shoulder as they skidded to a stop at the church. Would her muscles hurt like that if she hadn¡¯t done stadiums in a dungeon the night before? They hadn¡¯t stayed all that late at his parents¡¯ house, but no one was at the church as they peered in under their hands through the glass doors.


    ¡°Did the coupon say how long the home visit was supposed to last?¡± Lacey asked Colt.


    ¡°No,¡± he shook his head, knocking on the door in case anyone was in the building. ¡°It just said one free home visit.¡±


    ¡°Should we go home?¡± she turned to put her back to the door so she would stop staring down an empty hallway that led to the storeroom they¡¯d come out of earlier.


    ¡°That¡¯s what I¡¯m trying to do,¡± Colt glared through the glass.


    ¡°I mean back to the shitty apartment,¡± Lacey reached for a phone that wasn¡¯t in her purse. She¡¯d only wanted to check the time for the bus schedule.


    ¡°All our clothes are in the dungeon,¡± Colt reminded her. ¡°Doesn¡¯t that mean that we moved out of our shitty apartment?¡±


    A lone pickup truck pulled into the parking lot, sputtering like the engine wasn¡¯t sure it wanted to go any further. Lacey watched it, her eyes narrowing. Colt turned to glance at it, but then went back to staring into the church. A burly man on the plump side climbed out of the truck. He had a Santa Claus kind of smile, and a two-day beard.


    ¡°You two need some help?¡± he asked, the door to the old truck slamming shut like a garbage truck.


    ¡°No,¡± Colt turned to say, then stopped to stare at the man. ¡°Do we know you?¡±


    ¡°I gave you a ride from the airport to the tournament,¡± the man leaned back against the truck, his arms crossed over his chest. For his size and stature, the guy should have looked creepy, but he looked harmless instead. Lacey tried to jog her memory, but she didn¡¯t remember him at all.


    ¡°The tournament that we won?¡± Lacey asked, her own arms crossing over her chest, but less good-old-boy-from-Kansas and more suspicious-woman-watching-a-creepy-guy-offering-her-a-ride.


    ¡°That¡¯s the one,¡± the guy raised a pointed finger, his smile never wavering.


    ¡°Where¡¯s our money?¡± Lacey demanded.


    ¡°What she means is,¡± Colt pushed Lacey back and tried a charming smile at the guy, ¡°if what happened at the tournament really happened at the tournament, then are we going back or what?¡±


    ¡°Sure, but we thought you might want to claim your prize money,¡± the guy grabbed a bag out of the back of the truck. ¡°And I had your phones and stuff, so¡­¡±


    ¡°But can we go back?¡± Colt ignored the bag that Lacey really wanted to grab.


    ¡°Sure,¡± the guy shrugged. ¡°Does that mean you¡¯re taking the job?¡±


    ¡°Job?¡± Lacey stammered out, trying to edge around Colt to grab for the bag.


    ¡°It was in the contract, but only if you still want it,¡± he pushed himself off the truck and walked the short sidewalk toward them.


    ¡°The contract?¡± Lacey parroted the guy like she was stupid, but as she reached past Colt for the bag, she noticed Colt wince. ¡°What was in the contract? Do we still get the prize money?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t blame you,¡± the guy sent a wink to Colt, and smiled that harmless smile at Lacey. ¡°I don¡¯t like reading those things either. The prize money is yours, of course. You¡¯ll find new bank cards in your bag there with the prize money. The account is in both your names.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    ¡°The contract we¡¯re offering is to pick up your book contract,¡± he went on. ¡°You¡¯ve created a viable storyline, so we¡¯re offering you a permanent position on the creative team for the game.¡± When he said game, he used air quotes. ¡°The wages are competitive with gaming designers, but our work environment is a little unorthodox.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s real?¡± Colt asked.


    ¡°Did you know?¡± Lacey goggled at Colt.


    ¡°I read the contract, and it said stuff that didn¡¯t make a lot of sense at the time, but I thought it was some playful language until we ended up down in the dungeon,¡± Colt admitted.


    ¡°It¡¯s real,¡± the guy smiled.


    ¡°You read the contract that said we would be dumped in a video game?¡± Lacey smacked Colt on the arm, but not even hard enough to penetrate his shock. How he could be shocked now after all they had seen was crazier than the harmless dude. ¡°And you didn¡¯t tell me?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t think it could be real,¡± Colt breathed out.


    ¡°It¡¯s real, but I have to apologize for the rocky start you guys went through,¡± the harmless guy spread his hands in a shrug. ¡°You are our first dungeon creators, and the engine can get finicky with new ideas. I can assure you that now that you¡¯ve proved you¡¯ve got the chops, it should go easier. The pedestal is fully functional and if we can keep the prototype going, we may be able to expand operations. We can even offer you a couple weeks as adventurers if you¡¯d like to see how the other half lives.¡±


    ¡°It sounds real,¡± Lacey let herself smile. ¡°But it also sounds like we¡¯ve got a bit of negotiating power.¡±


    ¡°I want in,¡± Colt stuck out his hand. ¡°I want to be on the team!¡±


    ¡°Hold it!¡± Lacey batted Colt¡¯s hand down and pointed a finger at the guy. ¡°I want a few things if we¡¯re going to work for you on a voluntary basis.¡±


    ¡°You did opt in,¡± the guy frowned for the first time. ¡°Twice, though I get that you didn¡¯t read the contract for the tournament and don¡¯t remember that one.¡±


    ¡°Lacey, don¡¯t jinx this!¡± Colt whispered out of the side of his mouth even as he continued to smile at the guy.


    ¡°There¡¯s a valley behind the mountain,¡± Lacey ignored both of them to say. ¡°I want it to be part of our territory and inaccessible to adventures unless we let them in.¡±


    ¡°Oh, uh,¡± he cocked his head to the side. ¡°I don¡¯t see why we can¡¯t work that in, but maybe more as something you earn once you hit a certain performance threshold?¡±


    ¡°And we want free home visits every Sunday,¡± Lacey pressed. ¡°Every Sunday and major holidays.¡±


    ¡°Like Christmas and Easter? Or banker¡¯s holidays?¡± the guy showed the first bit of shrewdness by asking. ¡°I could go for four major holidays of your choosing, but you¡¯ll have to buy anything past that.¡±


    ¡°And¡­¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t press your luck,¡± the guy slanted his head and raised his brows.


    ¡°Deal,¡± Lacey stuck out her own hand.


    They shook hands, grinning like idiots there on the church sidewalk as the bus pulled away. It was a surreal moment where some part of Lacey¡¯s brain was sure she¡¯d had an aneurysm and was in a coma in some hospital somewhere. She held the hand that shook hers a little longer than was necessary or even comfortable, but he was patient and his eyes shone with a kind solidness that soothed her.


    ¡°You want a ride home?¡± the guy offered.


    ¡°Which home?¡± Colt eyed the truck like it was a version of Santa¡¯s sleigh.


    ¡°I think you refer to it as your shitty apartment?¡± the guy gave Colt another wink and smile. ¡°You have until tomorrow morning to get back to work. And don¡¯t worry, none of the time you spent out here will count for the time the dungeon is closed for repairs and updates.¡±


    ¡°We could use a ride,¡± Lacey admitted, as Colt and the guy shook hands now too.


    ¡°You might want to pay your rent and bills or put them on autopay or something,¡± the guy suggested. ¡°You¡¯re a week behind on utilities. Not that I was intruding, but I didn¡¯t want our little experiment to cause you undue stress from the real world.¡±


    Lacey laughed.


    <hr>


    Their car keys were in the bag with all their electronics and new bank cards. Their car was parked in their apartment¡¯s parking lot in its assigned space. The take-out food in the fridge had gone bad, but everything else felt like they¡¯d left the day before. They spent a few hours taking care of the business of keeping their place in the real world. Nothing was more surreal than paying all their bills 6 months in advance and still having money left over.


    Lacey lay in bed, a bed that was less comfortable than the one in the dungeon and tried to think of what she would want to take with her if she could. Their contract was generous, but not extravagant, considering that their room and board was paid for at work for 6 days out of 7. She rested her head back on her hands and stared at the ceiling. Her mind raced.


    It was better than their dream of owning an escape room experience. She¡¯d even looked up their story online. It had mixed reviews, but it was mostly good. How the engine had read her mind so vividly was amazing. She¡¯d only had time and patience to skim the first few chapters, but she didn¡¯t mind how they¡¯d portrayed her or Colt.


    Before she knew it, she¡¯d drifted off to sleep, her dreams tame compared to real life for a change. In the morning, she and Colt made coffee and breakfast like it was any other day. They were laughing at some lame joke as Lacey opened the front door.


    ¡°There it is,¡± Colt breathed out a sign of relief. Beyond the doorway was their dungeon control room.


    ¡°I¡¯ve got to say, the commute is not bad,¡± Lacey grinned at Colt.

 Chapter 2.01 – Beyond the Goblin City

    The door closed behind Lacey. She immediately turned to open it back up, but all that was there was the hotel room accommodation that had been there before her and Colt¡¯s trip back home. Colt stuck his head over her shoulder and grinned. The dungeon control room, complete with goblin minions, was a welcome sight. The pedestal stood in the middle of the floor, with their dining/picnic/work table off to one side. The floor was smooth stone with two exits, one to the stairs to the water cavern below them and one that led directly out into the goblin tunnels. The height of the cave was well over 20¡¯ but it was still a little oppressive to Lacey to consider that they were housed beneath a mountain. Beyond the goblin city of tunnels was their dungeon.


    ¡°That¡¯s pretty sweet,¡± Colt crowed in delight, pushing past Lacey and into their inner sanctum.


    ¡°It¡¯s good to be home,¡± Lacey admitted. With the tutorial over, Lacey was ready to make this the best dungeon in their new game world. No more training wheels, no more outrageous questlines to complete just to survive. After a single day and night back in the real world to take care of reality, she and Colt could focus. No more slapping shit together just to keep from getting wiped. They had one full week to build something truly amazing from scratch. It was better than her dream to create escape rooms in the real world.


    ¡°Masters back!¡± Ginger ran to Colt and hugged his leg. As head of the workers, she was their favorite and easier to deal with than some. Adam was the head of the warriors, an elite group of 10 fighter goblins, and supposedly the chief of the tribe. Eve was the shaman, with her own troop of 10 mini-shamans, and the only goblin they¡¯d blessed with magical abilities. But in the end, it was Ginger, the leader of their hundreds of worker and crafting goblins, that did most of the work.


    ¡°Yep, and we¡¯ve got work to do,¡± Lacey rubbed her hands together and approached the pedestal. The control room had been cleaned up from the party of the night before, a testament to the efficiency of goblin workers. The hundreds of industrious workers lived in a warren of caves deep in the mountain around the control room. The dungeon itself was arranged in layers of protection so that the control room and their goblin tribe were safe from adventurers trying to take over their domain. They also had a menagerie of about 45 monsters, 4 of which had been gifted to them at the beginning and the rest of which Lacey had drawn up in their recently desperate efforts to keep their baby dungeon from getting wiped by a ruthless guild. Those monsters currently wandered around the dungeon levels, but while the dungeon was closed, Lacey meant to make sure that they had a better set of habitats for their menagerie.


    ¡°Let¡¯s see these new tools we have now that the pedestal is unlocked,¡± Colt approached the pedestal, his eyes gleaming with anticipation. The pedestal was mostly unlocked. The tutorial was over, so they had access to all the tools of dungeon masters, but some special stuff was reserved for higher levels, locked out behind technology trees that they had yet to discover, or just too expensive.


    The dungeon had leveled again. They were now level 25 dungeon masters of a level 25 dungeon. Lacey got busy making a new level of arenas and summoned 8 beetle breeders at their highest levels to feed into those arenas. The lower-leveled system that they¡¯d dubbed Arena Levels 1-3 fed smaller beetles into larger beetle arenas, leveling up enough for fighting adventurers and training up some of their new menagerie. She drew and added in another Arena Level 4 that added a new herd of higher leveled beetles into the mix. They could have just copied one of the older levels and made some adjustments, but for new stuff, drawing them in detail made them a lot cheaper to implement.


    Colt summoned 10 of each of their menagerie while Lacey created dwelling rooms for them that were perfect for their type. They had a modified bat cave for the mini-dragons with little cliff-like caves that they lived in. That was a huge room compared to the Chrews domain (those little spies made up of a cross between a crow and a venomous shrew) that was a tiny hamster habitat, not that the Chrews remained there often unless they were breeding, which they did a lot. Chrews constantly flew or scurried throughout the levels in search of bugs that they ate. The corral and meadow for the Gossowaries was a medium-sized room. Each of the creatures had their main habitat attached to a central hub, where some goblins were specializing in creature care.


    Most of their creatures learned relatively quickly that fighting only happened in the Arenas and dungeon areas. With Lacey, Colt, and the goblins, most of the creatures were playful rather than aggressive. Some had rivalries against each other, but the goblin handlers mediated the disputes. The exception to that was the beetles who were ultimately aggressive to everyone, including Lacey and Colt. The beetles were smart enough to only attack creatures equal to or weaker than they were.


    Goblins were both inexpensive to summon and adaptable, so they ordered a whole new platoon of workers (100 in total). The adaptability came in that if you handed a goblin a tool, they became proficient and focused in a specialization focused on that tool. For example, if you gave a goblin a pick, they became miners, a hatchet would make them lumberjacks, or a broom would make them cleaners. Lacey and Colt had decided to implement Colt¡¯s newest idea to allow the newest goblins choices of tools. Lacey didn¡¯t mind that they had too many jewelry crafters this time because they only named the top 10 producers in any category and only named goblins could be resurrected by the pedestal if killed in accidents or by adventurers.


    Colt designated feeding schedules for the beetles so that they knew which beetles were bred on which levels by feeding them different colored worms. The worm habitats had to be expanded and increased so that their newest breeds of the garbage eaters could thrive in their own spaces. Worms were the primary protein used to feed a lot of their meat-eating monsters, but dried worms could be mixed into herbivore food too. They¡¯d discovered that Eve¡¯s different colored worms made some of their monsters develop different characteristics. Purple worms imbued the beetles and their shells with bonuses to magical abilities. Yellow ones increased strength and/or dexterity depending on their levels. Blue ones had the ability to fly short distances, and green ones burrowed. They had to be careful not to mix and match too much or they got very random results. Every once in a while, they got a rainbow of colors, but those were always super-aggressive and tended to wipe out whole arenas.


    It only took a few hours to breed a batch of beetles, a mob with the fastest life cycle of only a few days, and another few hours to whittle those beetles down in the arenas to level the best of the best. Those Colt sequestered in with the breeders to produce the next batch. Colt was fascinated with the handling and care of their critters and had introduced a new specialty of critter-handler for the goblins by offering leashes to goblins newly spawned by the pedestal. Lacey was content to design new monsters and their habitats. They worked together to create a place that could grow and maintain creatures without the need to order them up on the pedestal all the time.


    ¡°Mas- Colt and Lacey!¡± Ginger came into their control room to bounce excitedly. They¡¯d given Ginger permission to call them by their names, something that had elevated her ranking in the tribe. ¡°Big baddies have left!¡±


    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Lacey put down her newest sketchpad. The big baddies were a huge guild that had camped on their doorstep during the tutorial. They¡¯d managed to kill off the leader and his party, but the guild had still been camped out there for the past two days of rebuilding. Even though the dungeon was officially closed for repairs (and therefore magically sealed against incursions), the guild had remained.


    ¡°Sent worker out to gather wood and not get killed,¡± Ginger nodded her head quickly.


    ¡°Give me a ride to the surface?¡± Lacey asked Colt.


    ¡°Sure,¡± Colt agreed. The pedestal used a touchscreen that allowed them access to dungeon building tools, menus, and camera views of any room in their dungeons. From the pedestal, they could move rooms around, copy and paste working rooms for credits, and redesign with a click and drag method. The rest of the controls used finger taps using fingers other than their index fingers so that a middle finger click gave access to menus, a ring finger tap opened minute options, and a pinky finger the help menus.


    ¡°Ginger go with,¡± Ginger hopped into the ¡°elevator room¡± that Lacey had finally agreed to once she started to see how very huge their domain was getting. ¡°Only single person outside now, but she not attack worker.¡±Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.


    Lacey and Colt exchanged raised eyebrows and shrugs.


    Their million-credit budget that they¡¯d earned for completing the tutorial was being spent in judicious spurts of creation. They spent it on new rooms, functionality, and creature development. They¡¯d also splurged for a few indulgences like a kitchenette that Ginger wouldn¡¯t touch. They also had a few executive office chairs, and they had used a coupon to add a miscellaneous upgrade to the control room which had resulted in a pair of executive desks, each with pedestal access. The desks were more like gaming setups made of old wood with slanted tabletops and a curved monitor set in stone to view into the dungeon. Colt had been wheedling for the 3-screen display upgrade, but Lacey was holding back on it in case they needed that 50,000 credits for something more practical. She actually had every intention of getting it for Colt before they reopened the dungeon in 5 more days, but she was hoping it would come down in price before then from some tech upgrades she was working on in her drawings.


    The elevator took her to the entrance room, where Lacey stepped out with Ginger on her heels. Lacey didn¡¯t mind working long hours, knowing that she was creating something that was more sustainable and that wasn¡¯t going to kill her anytime soon. She crossed the rejuvenated bat cave that served as an entrance room for their dungeon trying not to disturb the slumbering bats and paused near the opening.


    Outside was a tall young woman dressed in black leather, studded with daggers. She lounged against a nearby tree eating something out of a bag. She seemed to be talking to herself until Lacey noticed a small creature that peered out from the woman¡¯s curly hair. Lacey might not have noticed the creature except that every third bite of whatever the woman was eating went to the creature instead of into the woman¡¯s mouth. The young woman didn¡¯t look aggressive, but she didn¡¯t notice Lacey¡¯s timid wave from inside the dungeon.


    ¡°Ginger go get?¡± Ginger pointed out the door and Lacey reluctantly nodded. The main drawback that Lacey had with dungeon building was that she and Colt could not go outside the dungeon. The goblins could make brief forays into the forest beyond for supplies, but the workers were vulnerable, not only to adventurers, but also the natural denizens of a fantasy wood.


    Lacey had a moment of worry about Ginger¡¯s safety, but if the woman hadn¡¯t interfered with other worker goblins, she wouldn¡¯t mess with Ginger, who didn¡¯t look important at all, or in fact any different than any other worker. Ginger¡¯s status was entirely from her standing with Lacey and Colt.


    Lacey watched Ginger poke her head out of the dungeon carefully, then walk toward the stranger. Lacey had another moment of trepidation as the woman noticed the little goblin girl, but it melted away as the woman raised a hand in greeting with a warm and almost awkward smile. They had a quick conversation and Ginger then rushed back to the cave opening.


    ¡°Woman is Kat,¡± Ginger said primly. ¡°She formally requests audience with dungeon masters.¡±


    ¡°But she can¡¯t come in and I can¡¯t go out,¡± Lacey shrugged, sending a silent smile to the woman outside.


    ¡°Kat give Ginger this,¡± and Ginger handed two small pieces of paper to Lacey.


    ¡°Day pass,¡± Lacey read the coupon carefully. Lacey and Colt had discovered coupons at the conclusion of the tutorial as a special coupon had allowed them to go home to visit Colt¡¯s mother for Sunday dinner. It was the main reason both Lacey and Colt were much more relaxed that they¡¯d been since getting dropped into his world. These two little coupons allowed for her or Colt to leave the dungeon for a single day. The dungeon would stay in stasis so that no time would pass inside the dungeon while they were gone, including the closed-for-repairs timer. Lacey had learned to read the fine print.


    Lacey raised her gaze to the woman who smiled and gave a pointed look at the sun rising over the tops of the trees, as if to say, daylight¡¯s burning. The coupon would expire at sunset, at which point, they would need to return to the dungeon or incur a 1000-credit penalty per hour outside the dungeon.


    ¡°Colt, you might want to get up here,¡± Lacey sent to Colt via their text interface that they still hadn¡¯t upgraded. ¡°Someone out there gave us a day pass to go outside.¡±


    ¡°Is that safe?¡± he replied, and his words scrolled across a small text box at the bottom of Lacey¡¯s vision.


    Lacey replied by holding up the coupon¡¯s fine print for him to read if he so desired.


    ¡°On my way,¡± was his response after he¡¯d taken the time to read it. The interface took their subaudible words and projected them without the need to speak out loud.


    ¡°I¡¯ll see you outside,¡± Lacey told him and summoned the pedestal to the entrance so that she could input the coupon for herself. Summoning a temporary pedestal to any room was a new upgrade they¡¯d unlocked by completing the tutorial. She left the other coupon on the floor next to the pedestal.


    ¡°Wait for me,¡± Colt protested, but she only saw half of it since the communication and her display changed completely as she stepped outside of the dungeon. Lacey ignored the new screen by swiping it away. She didn¡¯t want anything interfering with her view of the sky outside.


    Colt hadn¡¯t felt the oppressive pressure of all that dirt over the top of him during their time in the dungeon. Lacey didn¡¯t mention it but, given a chance at a free breath of air that would only last until sunset, Lacey wasn¡¯t going to waste a second of it. The job of designing and managing the dungeon had been worth the pressure on her chest at being confined under a mountain, but time spent underground hadn¡¯t gotten easier with the weeks they¡¯d already spent locked in the dungeon. It was only that Lacey tended to slough off the feeling as a cost of living the dream.


    Outside their main entrance was a small clearing of stubby green grass before the whole vista was obscured by towering pine trees. Lacey had only ever seen it from having her face pressed against the transparent barrier between the dungeon and the outside. Being outside lifted all that pressure off Lacey¡¯s chest and, when she breathed in the forest air, she closed her eyes. She could smell the grass and the sap of pine trees, a hint of something musty, and clear fresh air that would choke a city dweller. That was all the reaction she allowed herself as she approached the smiling stranger. It wouldn¡¯t do to show weakness to the newest curveball Lacey could practically feel being lobbed their way.


    ¡°Hi, I¡¯m Lacey,¡± Lacey matched the woman¡¯s friendly smile and reached out a hand in greeting.


    ¡°Kat,¡± she countered and matched Lacey¡¯s handshake in firmness. ¡°I¡¯m the dungeon inspector.¡±


    ¡°There are dungeon inspectors?¡± Lacey¡¯s eyes widened, a moment of panic causing her to imagine all the ways she and Colt could be screwed by a whole new set of parameters they weren¡¯t ready to implement.


    ¡°No,¡± Kat¡¯s face broke into a laugh as she waved her hand around. ¡°But it sure sounds good, right? Will your partner be joining us?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s on his way,¡± Lacey frowned. This woman knew to ask about Colt? Lacey realized that people outside their dungeon probably knew a lot more about them than they did about the world beyond the dungeon. Was there talk about the dungeon? Was news or gossip being spread and if so was it good or bad? How far? Lacey made a note to herself to keep enough money aside to close the dungeon at any time.


    ¡°Relax, I¡¯m here to help, not screw you over,¡± Kat planted her hands on her hips in a no-nonsense pose.


    ¡°I¡¯m here! I¡¯m here!¡± Colt practically tumbled out onto the grass of the clearing¡¯s floor. He must have taken the shortcut of moving the entire control room to the entrance. There was a moment of something that sparked between Colt and the new girl. It wasn¡¯t unusual for Colt to instantly fall completely in love with the newest female near his own age of 26. It happened so often that Lacey almost didn¡¯t react at all except to smile and roll her eyes. Normally he was a bit more suave about it, but Colt was crushing on the gal already. Hopefully, this one was more his type than Helluna had been. ¡°Hello beautiful. I¡¯m Colt.¡±


    Kat pressed her lips together under dancing brown eyes. ¡°Nice to meet you, Colt,¡± she said as he walked up to them with his most charming smile. ¡°I¡¯m Kat and I¡¯m here to get some paperwork squared away and help you folks get settled into the world.¡±


    ¡°We could have used that a few weeks ago?¡± Lacey started to say, but Colt cut her off.


    ¡°What she means is that we have been looking forward to you, to meeting you, I mean,¡± he held out his hand to shake hers like he was some schoolboy with no wit at all and Lacey gave Colt a weird look.


    They shook hands and met eyes, and Lacey had to resist giggling. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s what I meant.¡± Lacey didn¡¯t even know how to be jealous of his infatuations anymore. She and Colt weren¡¯t suited to each other romantically anyway, so it didn¡¯t make sense to get fussy because he flirted with someone other than her. Colt might practice his flirting on Lacey, but even his mother had given up on them being a thing. That didn¡¯t stop most of Colt¡¯s love interests from misunderstanding their relationship, but Lacey wasn¡¯t the one with jealousy issues.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been sent by the Adventurer¡¯s Guild,¡± Kat turned her attention to Lacey to avoid the awkwardness that was Colt being a dolt, almost like she was sidestepping a particularly nasty trap. ¡°The Adventurer¡¯s Guild oversees all the other guilds and would like to extend our services to your dungeon. Would you like to sit down?¡±


    With that, Kat took a large oak table out of her backpack and placed it in the middle of the clearing like it didn¡¯t weigh anything. The table was followed by a set of three comfortable-looking chairs, padded with black velvet and studded with brass rivets. That was followed by three pads of paper and folders that Kat set down on the table at each place setting. After a brief rummage in the magical pack, she also brought out a pair of crystal decanters, one with clear liquid and one with red, and three matching goblets of crystal.


    ¡°Please,¡± Kat motioned to the table, ¡°have a seat?¡±


    ¡°I want one of those,¡± Colt stared at Kat with wide eyes.


    ¡°He means the backpack,¡± Lacey tried to cover for him as he was generally much more subtle with his charm.


    ¡°That too,¡± and Lacey rolled her eyes as Colt recovered with an infectious grin designed to melt the moon into a puddle of cheese.

 Chapter 2.02 – Welcome to the Adventurer’s Guild

    We apologize for the rude welcoming you got from one of our guilds,¡± Kat waved to the seats. ¡°You have rights as a dungeon, but without a record of your origin, Lord Montgomery was exploiting a loophole in the system that I hope we have closed right up. Rest assured that his guild has been sanctioned and will pay fines for their attempt to bypass morality. Most of those fines will go to your dungeon, minus a few legal fees.¡±


    Lacey¡¯s head was spinning as she sat at the table and peeked inside one of the folders. All she really saw was a table of contents with a sheaf of papers beneath it. Was this the manual?


    ¡°Being tied to one place, we realize that it can be difficult to attend to court dates, so we can represent you in a suit against Lord Montgomery,¡± Kat said, pouring herself some water. ¡°He, of course, would like to settle this issue quietly, so his family has offered a settlement, but I would suggest a counteroffer of twice this amount. That¡¯s all under section 4, and I won¡¯t press you for anything now. Look over the offer and send me a dmail. Let me know if you want to counter or I can give you a list a few other representatives you could use.¡±


    Colt ruffled the edges of the provided materials and scanned the table of contents with a frown. That was more fine print than even Colt was willing to scan, at least with a pretty girl sitting at the table.


    ¡°We haven¡¯t had any player-run dungeons before,¡± Kat folded her hands in front of her. ¡°But we expect to be able to include a few more in the near future. As players, you have the right to be represented by the Adventurer¡¯s Guild and we would like to structure access to these dungeons so that the experiences of newer dungeon masters won¡¯t be quite as tumultuous as yours has been. As a representative of the guild, I¡¯d like to personally thank you for making this expansion into dungeon representation possible, but we also understand if you want to remain independent of our protections.¡±


    ¡°You talk like a lawyer, but you look so young,¡± Colt blurted out and Lacey¡¯s forehead creased at the direction of his focus.


    ¡°I¡¯m older than I look,¡± Kat¡¯s smile held her own bit of flirtation. ¡°I¡¯m a player too. Real world, I¡¯m old enough to drink, young enough to want to, and too young to need to.¡±


    ¡°Do you look this hot in the real world?¡± Colt asked and Lacey kicked him under the table.


    ¡°What he means is that we are interested in how this game world treats players,¡± Lacey tried to turn the conversation back to the papers.


    ¡°It¡¯s not what I meant,¡± Colt only had eyes for Kat, who finally blushed from the attention.


    ¡°I¡¯m level 72 in one of our worlds, but I¡¯ve dumbed down to a level 10 for this one,¡± Kat admitted. ¡°I, too, was a pioneer in this engine¡¯s game world, so I can answer any questions you have and probably understand far more than anyone you¡¯ve experienced so far as players. I¡¯m actually really eager to try your dungeon, but I don¡¯t want to push you when you¡¯ve had such a rough tutorial. I thought we¡¯d try to give you some time to rebuild and offer some assistance so that future forays into your dungeon are more structured.¡±


    ¡°What kind of structure?¡± Lacey asked.


    ¡°We¡¯d like to advertise your dungeon to our guilds, but limit access so that only those of a reasonable level can enter,¡± Kat answered. ¡°We¡¯d set up an office locally so we could keep the assholes and riffraff out, but we aren¡¯t here to control or use you. We just want to try to create a structure for organic growth all around. That¡¯s one of the reasons that I agreed to come in as such a lower level. I¡¯d like to try it out from the ground up, if possible. Do you have a structure in mind?¡±


    ¡°We do have some tiered levels,¡± Colt offered. ¡°We can handle levels 1 through about 25, right now, but I think we can get up to 30 by the end of our repairs.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s quite the range,¡± Kat¡¯s brows rose, but she smiled, and Lacey liked how the smile really reached her eyes.


    ¡°I think a level 30 might be a little bored in the lower levels,¡± Lacey hedged. She and Colt had been thinking about how to allow higher levels to bypass lower levels and keep out higher levels like Monty, but if someone could do it from the outside, that could help a lot. ¡°I think we could easily set up some tiered entrances to cater to a specific level gap as long as someone was monitoring the outside of the dungeon. Is that the type of thing that the Adventurer¡¯s Guild could do?¡±


    ¡°Yes!¡± Kat leaned forward. ¡°It would be a great boon to this area and open up a lot of opportunities for growth in the nearby town. Most adventurers, even players who like to flout the rules, will be reluctant to piss off the Adventurer¡¯s Guild. The AG houses a great library for skill and spell knowledge, but a person has to agree to the AG¡¯s code of honor and respect the rules of the dungeons. If we could sanction anyone who defied those rules with you DMs reporting any infractions, I think we could make sure things like what Lord Montgomery tried will be almost non-existent.¡±Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    ¡°Almost?¡± Colt challenged, trying to look serious when Lacey could tell that he really just wanted to ask the girl out.


    ¡°He¡¯s right, what¡¯s to stop someone outside the guild from breaking the rules?¡± Lacey asked, trying not to laugh at Colt.


    ¡°We have higher levels who can break one of those sieges,¡± Kat assured them, patting the folder. ¡°Our offer in section 1 stipulates that while you may have to fend of a single rogue player once in a while, the AG would send a higher-level group than whatever illegal incursion is assaulting you. We would break the siege and take care of any legal sanctioning necessary to make it not worth their time to break these rules.¡±


    ¡°What do you get out of the deal?¡± Lacey poured herself some water and took a drink to calm her nerves. Was she really sitting at a high-powered negotiating table?


    ¡°That is an excellent question,¡± Kat beamed at Lacey. ¡°And I¡¯m really glad you asked, because I¡¯m really excited about it. Section 1.5 stipulates that entry to your dungeon would be limited to AG members, but only if the player is over level 10.¡±


    Colt winced and leaned back.


    ¡°But,¡± Kat stalled the protest on Lacey¡¯s lips too. ¡°It also stipulates that no AG member will break the dungeon for the purposes of a hostile takeover. All AG members will withdraw upon request of the DM or if they reach the end of the level they entered. No more dungeon wipes, at least not from our people.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure we could offer the same thing,¡± Colt shook his head, his infatuation not quite enough to make him promise her the moon. ¡°Who respects a dungeon that has promised not to kill intruders?¡±


    ¡°Colt¡¯s right,¡± Lacey agreed.


    ¡°Of course not!¡± Kat waved her hands in front of her. ¡°That would be like saying that adventurers wouldn¡¯t kill any of your mobs. That would be silly. You have every right and even a responsibility to offer dangerous challenges that can kill those who enter, AG or not! We¡¯re only asking that you make a reasonable effort to rank your levels so that adventurers can choose wisely. If some idiot goes in a level tiered for levels 5-15 and he¡¯s level 20, he shouldn¡¯t expect to get much experience or treasure, but if someone level 2 goes in a tier that is designed for level 20 or so, they should die. Stupidity can be trained out with enough incentive. At least that¡¯s my personal hope.¡±


    Colt gave her a dopey grin, then shook his head a little to clear it.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡± Kat asked him, pouring a glass of water and passing it to him.


    Colt gave a few nods of his head, trying to hide his blush behind the water he was gulping. Lacey hid her chuckle behind a pretense at drinking too. Lacey didn¡¯t really blame him this time. Kat was one of those smart gals that normally spun his head around and back again, but she didn¡¯t look like a heartbreaker either. Kat didn¡¯t seem to even notice what was wrong with Colt like Lacey did. Rather than save him, Lacey just pressed her lips together and looked away.


    ¡°Okay, well,¡± Kat sat back down and gave a scritch to the creature in her hair. Now that Lacey was closer, she almost recognized cat eyes. ¡°Sections 1 and 3 are just information packets on governmental structures and local laws that we thought might help you. Section 5 is primarily our monetary system and a worksheet that shows the value of general goods so that you understand what kind of treasures might draw people in, not that we¡¯re trying to stipulate what you have to offer. We are just trying to fill in some gaps that might be in your knowledge base.¡± Kat tucked a particularly springy curl behind her ear and then turned it into a scritch for her pet.


    ¡°Is that a cat?¡± Lacey pointed to Kat¡¯s hair curiously.


    ¡°Uh, yeah,¡± Kat fidgeted that same lock of hair back over the cat that then batted at her finger. The cat¡¯s actions made Kat laugh at herself. ¡°He had said he didn¡¯t want to be seen, but here he is introducing himself. This is my familiar, Shadow.¡±


    Shadow leapt down from Kat¡¯s shoulder to the table and then gave a long, disinterested stretch. Shadow¡¯s fur was mostly black, but it seemed to also be a little brown, like Kat¡¯s hair. He padded across the table, and it was like he was one with the shadows of the trees over Kat¡¯s shoulder. If Lacey blinked, the cat seemed to blur a bit around the edges.


    ¡°I might have agreed to level down to bit in here, but Shadow here has a mind of his own,¡± Kat placed her chin on her hand and gave a stupid grin to Shadow. ¡°That fading in and out of view isn¡¯t your eyes. It¡¯s just his nature.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s beautiful,¡± Lacey cooed at the little guy that was no bigger than a small bouquet of flowers.


    ¡°He thinks so,¡± Kat laughed.


    ¡°So are you,¡± Colt put in with a half-smile. ¡°Beautiful, I mean.¡±


    Lacey held her breath for the poor guy. He had it bad.


    ¡°I can see that you¡¯re going to test my cynicism,¡± Kat wagged a finger at him. ¡°Is he this charming with all the girls?¡±


    ¡°Usually, he¡¯s more suave than this,¡± Lacey admitted, her mouth twisted as she tried to be a good friend and not just burst out laughing.


    Kat hissed. ¡°You¡¯re trouble with a capital T, Mr. Colt,¡± she backed away from him and the table.


    ¡°He¡¯s harmless,¡± Lacey tried to salvage the situation with a smile and wince.


    ¡°Those are the most dangerous kinds,¡± Kat teased Lacey and Colt. ¡°I¡¯m going to leave these papers with you. You can keep the table or use it for kindling, but the crystal is good enough to keep for yourselves; a gift from the guild.¡±


    ¡°Thanks,¡± Lacey waved to the woman as she backed away into the woods, the adorable shadow-creature that was much more than a simple cat right beside her.


    ¡°Send me a dmail when you¡¯re ready for company,¡± Kat said, her hand falling down as her eyes shot up and to the side. ¡°I mean when you wouldn¡¯t mind me coming through the dungeon. If you don¡¯t mind.¡±


    ¡°Come back anytime,¡± Colt called out, having belatedly picked his chin up off the ground.


    ¡°That went well,¡± Lacey shook her head at Colt to bely her words.


    ¡°It did, right?¡± Colt nodded and craned his neck to watch the last of her fade from sight.


    ¡°Oh, buddy, you need a beer,¡± Lacey clapped him on the shoulder.

 Chapter 2.03 – Just a Walk in the Park

    ¡°I wonder how far the town is from here?¡± Lacey asked Colt, not ready to go back into the dungeon with so much free sunshine left to their day of freedom.


    ¡°Wait, yeah!¡± Colt snapped his fingers. ¡°We don¡¯t have to go back yet. Do you think we could catch up to her? She¡¯s probably going to town, right?¡±


    ¡°Probably,¡± Lacey huffed a small laugh, but tried to look serious when he turned hopeful eyes to her. ¡°Let¡¯s see if we can catch up without looking like a couple of stalkers, huh?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he stood and brushed non-existent crumbs off his shirt. ¡°Space is good. Play it cool, right?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey nodded, pressing her lips together to keep back her amusement. ¡°Hey Ginger, would you take these folders back to the control room and maybe the crystal stuff? We can leave the table and chairs here.¡±


    ¡°These chairs are comfortable,¡± Colt ran a hand down the velvet upholstery, but his eyes were still on the forest.


    ¡°Fine, tuck these inside too, but close to the entrance so we can bring them back out for company if they come back,¡± Lacey told Ginger who eyed Colt like he might be sick.


    ¡°She¡¯ll be back, right?¡± Colt assured himself.


    ¡°She said she would,¡± Lacey answered Colt, tucking her hands in her pockets and trying to leisurely stroll toward where Kat had disappeared.


    ¡°Right,¡± Colt nodded to himself. ¡°When the dungeon is ready.¡±


    ¡°Right,¡± Lacey parroted him to try to keep from teasing him.


    ¡°You think that tier system will work?¡± Colt¡¯s mind was suddenly so on getting the dungeon ready that it was painful to watch, but Lacey controlled herself. ¡°If they can control the entry, then we could open up at least what?¡± he looked up, completely oblivious to the glorious sky above them, ¡°five or six entrances?¡±


    ¡°One for every 5 levels from 1 to 5, up to 20 to 25,¡± Lacey suggested, amused by the birdsong in the woods. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t want to push it and try for 25-30 right away. Do you think we might want our leather armor and swords if we¡¯re going to journey into town, Colt?¡±


    ¡°Oh, uh, yeah,¡± Colt gave her a befuddled look like he¡¯d forgotten they were outside the dungeon and out in the cold cruel world. ¡°Ginger?¡±


    ¡°I go get runner to fetch,¡± Ginger waved a hand at Colt, her other hand carefully cradling the crystal decanters. She gave the red one a suspicious sniff and Lacey figured that the wine would be hidden in a hidey hole by Ginger personally. Either that or it would get accidently spilled.


    ¡°Ginger, can you put that red one in my room, please?¡± Lacey called out and she could see Ginger scowl. ¡°In the ice bucket would be great.¡± Ginger sent back a thumbs up over her hunched shoulders. Lacey was pretty sure most of the wine would make it there.


    ¡°Yeah, we should level up before we promise a set of levels we can¡¯t deliver on,¡± Colt was muttering half to himself. ¡°How long do you think it would take, say someone at level 10 or something to level out of the whole dungeon though?¡±


    ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t know,¡± Lacey leaned against the table and crossed her arms over her chest to watch her best friend lose his little mind. ¡°Maybe about as long as it would take us to level the dungeon up enough to keep pace with her.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t mean a specific person, but like any person,¡± Colt dodged her implication. ¡°Yeah, we could probably keep ahead of her, especially if we have other groups coming through.¡±


    ¡°We could make signs for the outside?¡± Lacey ignored his crazy-headed behavior to save his dignity. ¡°Or do you think they would do that?¡±


    ¡°We could maybe hire someone from town,¡± Colt suggested, his mind coming back to earth. ¡°Should we take coins?¡±


    ¡°Great idea,¡± Lacey took her leather armor and sheath of daggers from a runner goblin and sent them back in after a handful of coins. The coins weren¡¯t worth much to them, but gold was normally relatively precious in a small town. There were still a few pouches of the stuff in the bottom of the treasure chest they¡¯d gotten from completing the tutorial.


    Ginger came back out with pouches of coins that ranged from copper to platinum. Colt took one and Lacey took the other one. Given a choice, she¡¯d have spent some time studying the materials Kat had brought them from the guild, but they only had one day out in the world and Lacey didn¡¯t want to waste it reading paperwork.Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.


    ¡°Thanks Ginger,¡± Lacey tucked the pouch behind the layer of leather that covered her chest. Her leather armor wasn¡¯t as nice as Kat¡¯s had been. She wondered if she could get better in town. Lacey wasn¡¯t jealous of Colt¡¯s attention or of Kat¡¯s clothing, but while Ginger cleaned the leather armor daily, it didn¡¯t look like a leather jacket like Kat¡¯s had and Colt wasn¡¯t the only one with romantic prospects in this new world.


    It had been a long time since Lacey had been interested in dating, but the last few weeks in the dungeon had jolted something loose in Lacey¡¯s heart. They said that success breeds success and Lacey could see why. A lifetime of failures had beaten her down, but coming out on top against Monty¡¯s ruthless guild had changed some of that in Lacey. Her anxiety nattered at her with self-doubt, but she pictured it drowning in the pool that had killed Monty, and something was somehow looser.


    ¡°You ready?¡± Colt broke into Lacey¡¯s ruminating, and she gave him a smile.


    ¡°Yep,¡± she patted where the pouch poked at her under the armor. ¡°I¡¯m very ready for a walk in the woods to discover a fantasy world. Aren¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°You bet,¡± he clapped Lacey on the shoulder and darted a glance in the direction Kat had gone.


    ¡°We might be able to catch up,¡± Lacey suggested with a smile.


    ¡°You think so?¡± he perked up and started jogging backwards to keep Lacey in sight. ¡°Then come on slow poke!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m coming,¡± Lacey gave a mock groan as she broke into a slow jog as if she was too weak to go faster.


    ¡°Lace,¡± Colt griped, spreading his arms with quick glances behind himself to make sure he didn¡¯t run into a tree. ¡°You¡¯re killing me.¡±


    Lacey broke into a run and passed him with a playful grin. ¡°Catch me if you can.¡±


    ¡°The last guy you said that to ended up drowned,¡± Colt turned and ran after her.


    Was it reckless to run through the woods of a fantasy world full of monsters, armed with a sword and a couple of daggers between them? Probably, but it felt so good to let go and run. Lacey let the wind cool the sweat on her brow as she dodged trees and Colt¡¯s playful swipes at her. She was still just a little faster than he was, the result of running track in junior high back when she gave a shit about pleasing her dad by following in his footsteps. She might not have been in shape, but at least she¡¯d gotten some exercise on those steps more recently than Colt had done anything like a workout.


    ¡°If you¡¯re going to catch a girl like that, you¡¯ve gotta be able to keep up, Colt,¡± Lacey huffed out at him.


    ¡°Is there a treadmill upgrade for the control room that you didn¡¯t tell me about?¡± Colt got out between heavy breaths.


    ¡°Nope,¡± Lacey grunted back, darting away from his latest swipe at her. ¡°But I¡¯m thinking a treadmill just can¡¯t be all that hard to draw. What is it? Just a couple of tubes wrapped in a belt.¡±


    ¡°We have more complicated traps than that,¡± Colt overbalanced hopping over a downed tree and barked out a laugh as he tumbled into a bed a pine needles.


    ¡°We do,¡± Lacey grinned down at him from on top of the log. ¡°You okay?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, actually,¡± he grinned back up at her, shrugging off a little wince as he ran a hand behind his head to check it for damage. ¡°It¡¯s been a while since you¡¯ve let loose, so yeah. I¡¯m okay. It¡¯s good to see a spark of the old Lacey.¡±


    ¡°Has it been that long?¡± she asked, holding out a hand to help him up.


    ¡°A couple of years of intense Lacey is a year and half too long,¡± Colt took her hand, not because he needed it, but because she¡¯d offered it.


    ¡°Huh,¡± Lacey leaned back to lever him off the ground. Even as large as he was compared to her, she could still apply leverage like a pro. ¡°We can dump a simple drawing into the pedestal and see what it gives us.¡±


    ¡°Or we could buy a few more coupon books of day passes,¡± Colt suggested.


    ¡°Or we could take the deal to become adventurers for a while,¡± Lacey offered up, brushing off her hands.


    ¡°The caves bother you that much?¡± he asked her more seriously.


    ¡°You knew?¡± Lacey looked up at him from under her lashes, a frown on her lips.


    ¡°I should have figured it out sooner,¡± he said by way of apology. ¡°But when you were sucking air from the top of the stadium exit, I got the picture. I¡¯d forgotten how antsy you get in closed spaces.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not the closed spaces half as much as the oppression of a mountain of dirt over our heads all day and all night. That¡¯s why I was negotiating for that valley out behind the dungeon¡¯s mountain,¡± Lacey shrugged and turned to look around to get her bearings. ¡°I figured that if I could just get out for a run once in a while, it would be okay. I don¡¯t want to give up the dungeon, but I¡¯ve got to be able to get out more often.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t think that someone like that guy back at the church or even Kat would consider that and find a workaround for you?¡± Colt beat the sticky pine needles off his pants and sleeves. ¡°It¡¯s not like you can turn off claustrophobia.¡±


    ¡°This isn¡¯t exactly a place that looks like it deals with disability accommodations, does it?¡± Lacey orientated with the sun and walked a few paces to test direction before picking her way over a few low mounds of dirt. ¡°Besides, the higher ceilings and larger caverns help out enough for now.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll spring for day passes,¡± Colt promised, running his hands through his hair to comb out more of the sticky needles.


    ¡°Sundays will help too,¡± Lacey shrugged, and she belatedly realized that was why she¡¯d negotiated for Sunday dinners with Colt¡¯s family. ¡°As long as we don¡¯t spend all of them inside. I just need to see the sky more often is all. I¡¯ll be fine.¡±


    ¡°Lacey, stop!¡± Colt commanded, his tone sharper than she thought was necessary.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± she snapped back at him, turning to face him.


    ¡°No, I meant stop moving,¡± Colt¡¯s eyes were round as he stared over her shoulder and put a hand down to his sword.


    Lacey froze in silence, a chill running up her spine at the growl that came out of the forest. They were dungeon masters, not adventurers. Lacey couldn¡¯t hit the side of the cavern with a thrown dagger. Still, the two of them had bounded out into the fantasy forest like they were on a walk through a local jogging trail. She was pretty sure that Colt hadn¡¯t had enough beers to kill a wolf, much less the half dozen that had surrounded them by ducking in and out of the shadows of the trees.

 Chapter 2.04 – Whyd He Have to Fall for the Daughter of Death?

    Lacey drew a dagger into each hand, not that she had a lot of confidence in her ability to use them. She was just hoping she looked half as imposing to those wolves as Colt did as he drew that shiny overcompensating sword that the goblins had looted off of Monty¡¯s bloated body. Colt took a slow step forward and to the side around Lacey so that they stood back-to-back, not that they knew much more about it.


    Two wolves dove at Lacey¡¯s right side and she swung the daggers in front of her only to get nipped at from the other side. It didn¡¯t hurt through the leather panels, but she hadn¡¯t even touched the ones she¡¯d swung at on the other side.


    When the wolves dove at her again, she gave up swinging and resorted to kicking instead. That was something she¡¯d done before enough times that she didn¡¯t totally suck at it. The wolf on her left yelped from the kick to his teeth, but the one on her right got a nip on her left hip where the leather didn¡¯t cover very well. Lacey was finding a new reason to have leather armor like what Kat had worn. Kat¡¯s leather pants had been enhanced with hardened leather panels, but still decent leather in other places too. Lacey only had her jeans, and they weren¡¯t the armor-level kind of jeans that cowboys wore. They were comfy jeans that stretched when she ate too much at Colt¡¯s mom¡¯s house and back again when she got so busy she forgot to eat.


    ¡°Ow,¡± she winced, but then grit her teeth, ignoring her imaginings of dying out here and losing everything in some fluke between-the-rules rule that meant that if they died out here it was game over. Lacey¡¯s paranoia whispered horrifically in her ear in Kat¡¯s voice, ¡°We¡¯re so sorry. We had no idea how pathetic the two of you really were. We¡¯ll be cancelling those contracts now. Thank you!¡± Lacey had read those books where the main character got super mad and was suddenly capable of great feats of weapon mastery to defeat a pack of wolves with a stick. This wasn¡¯t one of those fantasy worlds. Lacey heard a yelp from behind her, but it was from Colt, not a wolf.


    As the wolves dove at her again, she tried swinging her daggers and kicking. That had not been a good idea. The wolves might have missed her, but she was lucky she hadn¡¯t tossed herself flat on her butt with that maneuver.


    ¡°I don¡¯t suppose Kat is near enough to hear us scream for help is she?¡± Lacey swung at a wolf and got a nip on her shoulder for her efforts. How had it gotten up that high anyway? Was it aiming for her nose or her ears?


    ¡°It¡¯s worth a try,¡± Colt muttered, his own efforts as bad as hers.


    ¡°Help!¡± Lacey screamed out, and while Colt was too proud to join her, he didn¡¯t stop her either. ¡°Heeeeeelllllpppp!!!!!¡± It turned out that Lacey could scream and swing a dagger or scream and kick at one of the wolves. Neither harmed the wolves at all, but she liked to think it spooked them a little.


    ¡°I got one!¡± Colt yelled out suddenly. ¡°I mean I hit one. It got back up, but I did hit it with the sword!¡±


    A dark spot slithered out of the woods and there was a yelp, followed by snarls that cut off abruptly. Lacey swung randomly, cursing her lack of close-combat training. Every self-respecting geek girl who dreamed of entering another world had taken dagger training or sword training before getting isakaied, right? Then again, Colt hadn¡¯t taken sword classes either. All Lacey had to defend herself was a few self-defense classes where her main takeaway had been to carry mace and use it.


    ¡°Did you hit another one?¡± Lacey asked around gulps for air from screaming for help.


    ¡°No, did you?¡± Colt grunted and she could feel him swing behind her.


    ¡°No, but something took out one of the wolves on my side,¡± Lacey fretted, kicking out at an approaching muzzle.


    ¡°Great, something bigger is fighting over us for dinner,¡± Colt ground out as a blur of a form slid into a hole in the wolves.


    ¡°If you¡¯d told me you wanted to get to town, I¡¯d have offered an escort,¡± came the drawl of Kat¡¯s very welcome voice.


    ¡°My hero?¡± Colt made room for her as they created a triangle out of their backs. It made it easier to focus on a smaller pie shape of snarling muzzles.


    ¡°We¡¯re higher level than you, and you didn¡¯t seem worried,¡± Lacey complained, kicking a muzzle that was aimed at Colt¡¯s thigh.


    ¡°It¡¯s not about levels so much as its about skills,¡± Kat grunted, two daggers flying out at the circling wolves as Kat also drove a dagger down into the skull of a wolf trying to dart between them for Lacey¡¯s juicy bits. ¡°Though I do miss my triple digit dexterity a lot right now.¡±


    Another circling wolf went down in a pile of tumbling fur that ended on a yelp. Lacey was just glad that the yelp didn¡¯t come from her or Colt or even Kat, now that Lacey was starting to like the gal.


    ¡°That shadow out there is showing off for you,¡± Kat grinned at the pile of shadows that was lunging at the next wolf. ¡°I might have been okay with losing levels to try out your dungeon, but Shadow refused to do so. Don¡¯t worry, I wouldn¡¯t bring him into the dungeon with me.¡±


    ¡°That wasn¡¯t my top worry at the moment,¡± Lacey lunged toward a sound to her left and ended up sitting back on her butt, as it smacked down onto the forest floor.If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.


    The small kitten that had nested in Kat¡¯s hair was not so small anymore. Lacey panted out a bit of panic as the big black cat placed a huge paw between Lacey¡¯s sprawled legs. For a whole second that felt like an eternity, Lacey forgot how to breathe. The next moment, the top of a huge panther head lowered so that it rubbed into her chest. What she thought might be a growl turned into a purr as it pushed its head under her arm.


    ¡°Aw, he likes you!¡± Kat exclaimed. ¡°Now I know that you¡¯re good people, Lacey.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m good people too,¡± Colt reached out to pat the massive head and found himself looking at a tail that held a mouth and it wasn¡¯t alone.


    ¡°You?¡± Kat tilted her head at Colt to say, ¡°not so much.¡±


    The cat turned its head, and Lacey could swear Shadow was laughing at her best friend.


    ¡°Now see, that isn¡¯t nice, Shadow,¡± Kat admonished the cat that had to outweigh the tall woman by at least twofold. ¡°Guys can be nice too.¡±


    Lacey dared to scratch behind one of Shadow¡¯s ears, the awe of the experience outweighing the terror of facing wolves. Shadow purred but seemed to glare at Colt over Lacey¡¯s shoulder.


    ¡°That¡¯s true,¡± Kat frowned.


    ¡°You talk to each other?¡± Colt said, very carefully.


    ¡°Sure, he¡¯s my familiar and probably my best friend,¡± Kat explained, pulling her backpack off her shoulder to pull out a wad of fabric that she then used to wipe the blood from her knives.


    ¡°That must be why he likes Lacey. She¡¯s my best friend,¡± Colt reasoned, perhaps a bit irrationally.


    ¡°Good thing Lacey has a good scream,¡± Kat said, bumping her hip against Shadow as he continued to rub against Lacey. ¡°We weren¡¯t far away when we heard it. I wouldn¡¯t worry about it though. You aren¡¯t expected to have skills and stats like a normal adventurer should. You have a different skillset that is just as important.¡± Then Kat paused and cocked her head to the side. ¡°Though maybe less important outside the dungeon. We should make sure you have escorts during day passes, okay?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt scowled in a way that almost looked like he was trying to smile. ¡°Different skills. That almost sounds like it¡¯s not the size that matters but the skill to wield the sword.¡±


    ¡°Oh, size matters,¡± Kat sent a knowing look to Lacey, who heroically suppressed a grin. ¡°Don¡¯t kid yourself on that one.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re talking about swords, right?¡± Colt squinted at Kat like he couldn¡¯t believe she¡¯d had the nerve to insult him. Then he curled his lip like he was wondering if she had insulted him or was just innocent.


    ¡°Yep!¡± Kat gave him a thumbs up with a perfectly straight face until she turned her back to him and gave Lacey a look that crumbled Lacey¡¯s determination to be a good friend.


    Lacey sat in the woods, an oversized black panther with three mouthy tails in her lap begging for scritches as her charming best friend got schooled by a tall girl with a mouth to match her familiar and then some. Lacey¡¯s howling laughter should have brought more predators, but the panther in her lap was more than enough to discourage anything out there.


    ¡°Where have you been all my life, Kat?¡± Lacey wiped away tears to say.


    ¡°That¡¯s my line,¡± Colt complained, but he didn¡¯t mean it. Probably.


    ¡°Probably being tortured by all the people not like us at all, who don¡¯t get my sense of humor,¡± Kat replied with a deadpan look that turned into a sweet smile for Colt. It turned right back into her deadpan look when she thought he wasn¡¯t looking.


    ¡°How far is this town?¡± Colt tried to change the subject.


    ¡°You were almost there,¡± Kat patted his shoulder consolingly. ¡°They probably heard the screams, but since players respawn when they die, the town doesn¡¯t rush to their rescue as much as you might think.¡±


    ¡°Great,¡± Colt licked his lips and pressed them together for a frown.


    ¡°If you want to grab an ale, we can stop by the pub,¡± Kat offered.


    ¡°We were headed for a store or maybe somewhere we could hire someone to make some signs for our dungeon entrances?¡± Lacey explained.


    ¡°Oh good,¡± Kat sighed out, reaching out a hand to help Lacey to her feet. ¡°I¡¯m not fond of one of the guys in the pub who keeps calling me Kitty Kat. Shadow wants to eat him, but that¡¯s really bad for morale and you just never know how stories can warp and change and then all of a sudden there¡¯s witch hunts and we have to reset servers¡­. But stores? That I can do.¡±


    ¡°Some guy calls you Kitty Kat?¡± Colt bristled.


    Kat thought for a moment, then looked Colt up and down and shook her head. ¡°Nope, don¡¯t know what I was talking about. We don¡¯t need ale, right?¡±


    ¡°Uh,¡± Colt stuttered, a look on his face like he wondered if he should be offended.


    Kat took Lacey¡¯s shoulder and steered her down the trail with a whisper, ¡°Like I need another male wanting to start a war because someone called me funny names.¡±


    ¡°That happen to you often?¡± Lacey tried to stay serious, but it was hard.


    ¡°More often than you¡¯d think, but then with my name maybe not,¡± Kat confided. ¡°It¡¯s short for Kattrianna, not Katherine, so it¡¯s not like I was going to go by Kathy or something. Still I¡¯m glad for it since it could have been worse. I could have been a boy and been named after some studly animal or something.¡±


    ¡°Like Colt?¡± he gawked at her.


    ¡°Yeah!¡± she snapped her fingers like it had just occurred to her, but Lacey was getting suspicious of her innocent act. ¡°So you¡¯d know what it was like, right? Not that my mom ever let anyone tease me about my name. My mom is great, by the way.¡±


    ¡°Mine too,¡± Colt crowed, grasping at the commonality that normally made girls swoon over him.


    ¡°Uh-huh,¡± she cast a glance back at him, then ducked her head to Lacey. ¡°Dad¡¯s going to hate him on sight, but I¡¯m running out of ways to turn him off. Is he always this persistent?¡±


    ¡°Mostly, but this is dogged even for him,¡± Lacey mused out loud, caught in the storm that was Kat.


    ¡°Dogged,¡± Kat huffed a nervous laugh. ¡°Get it? Cats and Dogs? No?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Lacey frowned.


    ¡°It¡¯s just that my dad is a level 75 assassin and he¡¯s been pretty power-mad with how he¡¯s been testing new assassins on their ability to camp any guy I start to like and I¡¯m pretty sure that poor Colt is a goner a hundred times over if we can¡¯t turn off his amazing charm,¡± Kat whispered desperately to Lacey.


    ¡°Oh,¡± Lacey¡¯s mirth dulled quickly, wondering how serious Kat really was. ¡°Wait, really?¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah.¡± Kat fanned her face. ¡°And your best friend is charming enough to melt an iceberg, which I am definitely not. Tell me he¡¯s just a flirt and you two are a thing so I can turn this gusher off.¡±


    Lacey gave Kat a look that was all she needed to groan out. Lacey looked back over her shoulder to find Colt being stalked by Shadow who changed back and forth between the cutest little kitten you could ever see to the displacer beast that had saved them from a pack of wolves. And Kat was worried about her dad? The big version of the cat caught Lacey¡¯s eye and there was that mirth again, like it could understand everything she was thinking.

 Chapter 2.05 – Look at the Time!

    The whirlwind tour of town wasn¡¯t nearly as interesting as Lacey had thought it would be. Kat introduced them to everyone, whether she knew them or not while Colt pretended to be interested in the cookie cutter NPCs. The whirlwind part was Kat herself, who was steadfast in her efforts to keep Lacey between herself and Colt.


    ¡°Eventually we¡¯re hoping that all the NPCs will become players, at least all the roles that players want to play,¡± Kat was saying as they browsed the general store. ¡°You¡¯d think it would be easier to find a crafter or two in the players, but most of them default to adventurers.¡±


    ¡°Do the adventurers get paid like the dungeon masters?¡± Lacey was drawn to ask. As introverted as Lacey was, she couldn¡¯t help but mine into the wealth of what Kat knew about the system.


    ¡°No,¡± Kat shook her head and checked the balance on a dagger. ¡°We only pay the ones with viable storylines and that just doesn¡¯t happen as often as we¡¯d like. If we didn¡¯t have the patent income, we¡¯d be as broke as everyone else. Who knew that the patent on kneaded erasers would net so much, but it does. Lord knows we don¡¯t make money on the copyrights. We have some patrons too, but that one¡¯s hit or miss most months.¡±


    Colt had given up trying to get in on the conversation, a contemplative look on his face as he chose to listen instead of engage for a bit. He bought some supplies, including a dozen backpacks. But there was other simple stuff like caltrops, nails, crafting kits, and water skins that were so much cheaper in town than they¡¯d been on the pedestal. Lacey would have bought them out, but the system restocked almost automatically.


    ¡°I hate to bring it up, but I think it¡¯s getting a little late,¡± Colt nudged Lacey rather than address Kat.


    ¡°Look at the time!¡± Kat said brightly, opening the door to the general store so that they could get back out onto the main street. ¡°We should get you back to your dungeon.¡± Kat had shown them how to customize their interfaces to display the time and Lacey was both grateful and a little annoyed. The good part was that they knew exactly when their day pass timer would run out. It was tracked in a small buff that displayed in another useful panel. The bad part was that the timer was too short for Lacey¡¯s comfort.


    ¡°Time flies,¡± he gave Kat a patentably disinterested smile, like he did anytime his usual charm didn¡¯t work. This was plan B for Colt and the hard-to-get gals. Lacey enjoyed plan B because Colt would turn his charming manners on Lacey, opening doors and just being ever so helpful to show the girl what she was missing. Lacey knew that her job as his wingman was to be a little extra demanding to show him off. That was sometimes fun when she was annoyed with him.


    (Colt) Charm +1


    ¡°We should rent a few horses,¡± Kat suggested. ¡°I¡¯ll bring them back for you afterward, unless you want to buy some. Do you have like 50 gold left over? Do you think they¡¯d be helpful in the dungeon?¡±


    ¡°How many plat to a gold?¡± Lacey asked, dumping what was left of her bag of coins into her hand.


    ¡°It¡¯s a ten to one ratio on all the money, so 10 gold to a plat,¡± Kat replied. ¡°Do you know how to ride? A skill could pop up for you if it seems to come naturally to you.¡±


    ¡°Do we have the room?¡± Colt handed Lacey his pouch of coins so that she could combine the two bags.


    ¡°I was thinking in the backyard,¡± Lacey shrugged, not having enough coins to get a pair. ¡°Maybe we should pick some up next time we¡¯re in town though.¡±


    ¡°Now you know how to plan for it,¡± Kat beamed, leading them to the livery. The dirt road through town should have been dusty but wasn¡¯t. Lacey didn¡¯t mind. ¡°We can rent them for a couple of silver.¡±


    ¡°Do you happen to know what those Day Pass coupons are going to run us in credits?¡± Colt hefted the main backpack onto his shoulder, his face shocked that it still only weighed about 10 pounds. Kat had shown them how to pack the adventurer packs so that they expanded an inventory in a completely crazy way.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure since we get a few at a time at the AG,¡± Kat admitted with a sly grin. ¡°They don¡¯t do us any good, but we figured that it might help incentivize our relationship with you. Our contract will allow for you to gain a 2-pack of them for every 10 AG-associated guild groups allowed through the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°Where does the AG get them?¡± Lacey asked, handing the whole purse back to Colt so he could go into the barn and hire the horses. It was a chore he was happy to do because, in his mind, it showed how amazing he was as boyfriend material.


    ¡°They appeared as loot from local mobs around here as soon as your dungeon popped up,¡± Kat gave her a wink, ignoring poor Colt. ¡°The adventurers sell them back to the AG because we were smart enough to snap them up as potentially useful in future business propositions. Local businesses didn¡¯t know what they were worth, so we set a buy price and snapped them up.¡±


    ¡°Nice,¡± Lacey commented, figuring that the coupons were much more expensive on the pedestal than they would be out in the world.


    ¡°If the engine is good at anything, it¡¯s building an economical system,¡± Kat nodded, backing up from the livery doors as Colt came back out with a couple of very pretty horses.


    ¡°They have other mounts that can be special ordered from the city,¡± Colt grinned with excitement, handing the reins to a black mare to Lacey. ¡°I just got us a few pretty ones for now.¡± He was about to hand off the other mare to Kat when she took the reins of a larger chestnut stallion instead. He didn¡¯t protest; just gave a shrug and took the calico print mare.Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.


    Lacey wasn¡¯t a country girl in any sense, but she knew enough to mount from the right and that feet belonged in the stirrups. Colt¡¯s dad had extended family that owned a ranch in California. His parents sent him out there for a few weeks every summer and he always came back just a tiny bit more charming. Colt helped Lacey get up into the saddle and adjusted her stirrups, ignoring Kat only after he noted that Kat knew what she was doing. He had no trouble vaulting up into the saddle of his own horse, sending a practiced clucking noise at his mount which made it twitch its ears and respond by tossing its head before moving forward at a walk.


    ¡°Damn it,¡± Kat gave an exaggerated sigh that ended on a little whimper as she used the reins and her knees to prod her own horse to follow. ¡°Did that boy have to have a nice seat too?¡±


    Lacey chuckled and struggled to mimic Kat and Colt. Luckily, Lacey¡¯s horse was content to follow Kat and Colt, so Lacey didn¡¯t have to do much. It was more fun than she wanted to admit. They needed a little herd of these in the backyard. Was that even possible?


    Shadow probably ensured that they weren¡¯t molested by anything on the way back to the dungeon. When they hit the clearing at the entrance, the sun was dipping down behind the mountain. They had a few minutes before the timer ran out and while normally Lacey would have left Colt and Kat to have a private romantic moment, she wasn¡¯t ready to go back inside until the very last second. Instead of being a third wheel, Lacey handed her horse¡¯s reins to Colt and tapped a lumberjack goblin to head back in and send for Ginger.


    ¡°If we toss a few bags of coins out here, do you think we could keep these horses?¡± Colt was asking Kat, his attention on the horse more than Kat.


    ¡°They¡¯d just disappear at the end of the rental term,¡± Kat shook her head and blushed as she took the reins from Colt. It was dark enough that Colt probably didn¡¯t notice. Then again, he did step closer to Kat. Kat scooted back and pretended to not see him lean in to help her get back up on her horse.


    Lacey stayed away from the hind quarters of the horses and the two lovebirds in denial. Kat rode away faster than necessary, and Colt watched her go.


    ¡°Oh, shit,¡± Colt suddenly grabbed Lacey¡¯s hand and tugged her toward the cave entrance. ¡°We gotta go. You are going to kill me if I let us spend a single credit on day pass violations.¡±


    ¡°That was fun,¡± Lacey resisted him gently, but her mind knew he was right, so she let him pull her into the hole in the mountain.


    ¡°It was fun,¡± Colt chuckled at her wistful expression. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t I be the one mooning over the girl? Not you mooning over the sky?¡±


    ¡°Masters back!¡± Ginger just always seemed so happy to see them.


    ¡°Yep,¡± Lacey sighed. ¡°And back means back to work for us.¡±


    ¡°Actually, we could take one little break,¡± Colt stuffed Lacey into one of the velvet-covered chairs Kat had left with them. Two of the nice chairs now sat around their little dining table and Colt scooted her chair in so she was stuck there with her sketchbook and pencils. Ginger had picked good spots for the chairs.


    ¡°We just took a whole day as a break, Colt,¡± Lacey moved to get up, but he pushed her sketchbook and a cup full of colored pencils at her.


    ¡°If you want to sketch, fine,¡± Colt said, returning to the pedestal, ¡°but I have one more break thing to do before you get back to the grind of everyday life down here in the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Lacey wanted to protest but she didn¡¯t have it in her. There wasn¡¯t a girl to watch his generosity, so Lacey wasn¡¯t expecting a grand gesture. Colt was rustling through a stack of her old sketches, ones that they hadn¡¯t gotten around to dropping into the pedestal during the incursions and had pretty much forgotten about since then.


    ¡°There it is,¡± he snatched out a single page and waggled his eyebrows at her. ¡°And we say the magic words and low and behold.¡± He dropped the page into the main pedestal and quickly tapped past screens too fast for her to see what he was manifesting until it meowed.


    ¡°We can¡¯t afford to,¡± Lacey started to say, but it was hard with the lump in her throat.


    ¡°It¡¯s a couple hundred credits, just like any other mob,¡± Colt rolled his eyes at her and scooped up the tiny black ball of fur. ¡°If we can spend 40,000 credits on 100 new goblins, we can splurge 200 credits for a pet. Kat¡¯s pet reminded me of the drawing you made before.¡±


    Lacey took the kitten in her hands, and it barely took up more than her palm, its little yellow eyes blinking owlishly up at Lacey. Lacey blinked back tears. He¡¯d remembered. Lacey didn¡¯t have to do a lot of pretending when she was Colt¡¯s wingman because he really was a great guy.


    ¡°Hello there, Spark,¡± Lacey cooed at the little beast. She didn¡¯t notice Colt setting up the litterbox or when he showed Ginger how to clean it. Lacey had named the cat when she¡¯d drawn it.


    What Colt might not have known about the drawings was that sometimes her intentions, as she drew certain aspects of a creature, played as big a part in what the creature could do as the actual drawing. That little glint in Spark¡¯s eyes was a little more than artistic license. Lacey¡¯s pet had a secret.


    ¡°Here you go,¡± Colt handed over a small bag of treats and a stick with a stuffed toy on the end of it. ¡°I set up the food dishes in your room and the extra bag of treats in your bedside table. Why don¡¯t you head off to bed for the night? I¡¯ll check to make sure the dungeon is set to advance a few years while we sleep and leave a checklist for Ginger on what they should focus on, okay?¡±


    The dungeon would fast forward for the goblins and the menagerie while Lacey and Colt slept, but only when they set it to do so. The outside of the dungeon wouldn¡¯t notice, but inside, the goblins would dig new caves and advance in their skills as long as they could practice their trades. The monsters would advance a bit too, but not as much as the goblins. It gave most of the new baby mobs a little time to grow up in a slightly more natural way than power-leveling in the arenas like they did with the beetles.


    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Lacey let her chair be pulled back out from the table.


    ¡°Positive,¡± Colt bent to kiss Lacey¡¯s cheek even as he shooed her to her room. ¡°Be sure to shut your door so little, Spark did you call it?¡± He asked poking a playful finger at it over her shoulder.


    ¡°Yes, her name is Spark,¡± Lacey let herself be steered toward her door because she really did feel like just calling it a night and getting some sleep.


    ¡°Shut your door so she doesn¡¯t wander out while we sleep, okay?¡± Colt stood in her doorway as she giggled over Spark.


    ¡°Thanks Colt,¡± Lacey turned to tell him as he was shutting her door for her.


    ¡°You did me a solid with Kat today,¡± Colt smiled at her, his eyes full of mischief. ¡°This is my thanks to you.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing, but this is¡­ thanks, just thanks.¡±


    ¡°Get some sleep,¡± he pointed a stern finger at her, eyes teasing her. ¡°Tomorrow, we need some stables designed and some tiers to organize. Busy busy day! We¡¯ve got adventurers to torture so we can open up that backyard you¡¯re so fond of.¡±

 Chapter 2.06 – Just Another Day in the Dungeon

    Waking up to a kitten batting at her hair was a game changer, especially when that kitten had static electricity going for her. Lacey snagged the little ball of playfulness and shoved her under the covers to snuggle. That resulted in a few snags of claws followed by a purr louder than anything that small should be able to make. The whole effort barely granted Lacey another 2 minutes of half-sleep before Spark was wriggling out from under the covers to chase a toy made by Satan himself, as it had a bell in it, a bell that rang and rang like a freaking alarm clock.


    ¡°I¡¯m awake,¡± Lacey groaned and rolled over, flinging the covers off to pad into the bathroom that she shared with Colt, who had left the toilet seat up again. So much for Mr. Wonderful still being on his game. Spark bounding in after Lacey made putting the seat down less annoying. Looking at her static-infused hair in the mirror woke Lacey up faster than coffee.


    ¡°What the?¡± Colt goggled at Lacey¡¯s hair. Lacey couldn¡¯t blame him for the hair comment, but she sent him a glare in the mirror for having barged into the bathroom. ¡°I didn¡¯t even know your hair was that long.¡±


    ¡°Rude,¡± Lacey grunted, pushing him back out the door he should have knocked on before entering. The length of her hair stood straight up on the top of her head making her temporarily slightly taller than Colt. ¡°Toilet seat!¡±


    ¡°Sorry,¡± he shrugged and pushed the hairbrush closer to her. ¡°Did you fall in?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± she snatched the hairbrush and flinched as she brought it close to the staticky mess that was her hair.


    ¡°Then what are you complaining about?¡± he groused, making a face at her in the mirror.


    ¡°I¡¯m telling your mother,¡± Lacey moved over so that he could use a toothbrush quicker. They worked far too closely together for her to become an excuse for him not to have a chance to brush his teeth.


    ¡°Dirty pool,¡± he pointed the toothbrush at her before piling on half a tube of toothpaste.


    ¡°You¡¯re just lucky I was done before you barged in here,¡± Lacey took the hairbrush to her hair with a wince and a tug.


    ¡°I heard you flush,¡± he responded through a blizzard of mint foam.


    Lacey rolled her eyes and headed back to her room to get dressed in real clothes.


    ¡°OWW!¡± Came from the bathroom with a clatter and blur of fur that skidded under Lacey¡¯s bed.


    Lacey pressed her lips together and hid her head in her closet, ostensibly looking for clothes. She took her time, ignoring the slap of bare feet on the stone flooring. Colt vaulted over the bed only to find that Spark had reversed direction under the bed.


    ¡°When did your cat start throwing off lightning bolts?¡± Colt demanded from the other side of the bed.


    ¡°You think I got this from sleeping on satin sheets?¡± Lacey pointed at her hair and raised her eyebrows at her partner. ¡°But Colt, this is nothing compared to what sharing a room with a displacer beast is going to be like.¡±


    That made his face pale, and he rocked back on his heels, flatfooted.


    ¡°Especially if that cat doesn¡¯t like you,¡± Lacey took her clothes back into the bathroom, her kitten hot on her heels now that Colt wasn¡¯t about to chase anything. Lacey locked both bathroom doors and took a wonderful shower, hoping shampoo and conditioner would help with her hair.


    ¡°The trap mechanism for the entrance is done,¡± Lacey handed the paper to Colt. ¡°We sit two goblins at the entrance, and they flip this switch here if people give them trouble. The portcullis will open and flood the room with the menagerie overflow.¡±


    ¡°You think maybe we should have a backup switch?¡± Colt suggested, careful not to wrinkle the page.


    ¡°I was thinking that the failsafe would be that if the goblins don¡¯t open the main doors themselves, the menagerie trap would go off,¡± Lacey pointed at the link to the door mechanism.


    ¡°Nice,¡± Colt nodded. ¡°What¡¯s this part?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s the flood controls,¡± Lacey grinned at Colt. ¡°If the menagerie doesn¡¯t get them, the Grand Hall seals at both ends and floods using the water from the wells. It all has to be manually reset upon party wipe, but the flood saves the menagerie.¡±


    ¡°What? No lighting them on fire this time?¡± Colt teased her.


    ¡°I saved that for the Gauntlet,¡± Lacey shrugged. ¡°I¡¯ve got the fire lizards manning a series of traps set into the pillars in a cascading series of elemental attacks that complement each other.¡±


    ¡°And all this is scalable?¡± Colt raised his eyebrows with a frown.Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ¡°Once I get all the mechanisms to work together, it¡¯ll have to be scalable by monster level and trap lethality,¡± Lacey rubbed the back of her neck. ¡°I¡¯ve needed most of this week just to get the one level to work together and it isn¡¯t seamless yet, which bothers me. We have to train the goblins, and I wanted to specialize more of the monsters.¡±


    ¡°Have you thought of making it modular?¡± Colt dropped the plans on the main pedestal.


    ¡°It¡¯s already a lot,¡± Lacey huffed out.


    ¡°It might make it less work in the long run,¡± Colt laid a hand on her shoulder.


    ¡°Unless you want the dungeon closed an extra week, I don¡¯t see how to work that into these plans,¡± Lacey complained, waving a hand at the wall map they¡¯d added.


    ¡°Let me worry about that, then,¡± Colt put his hands on his hips and stared at the map. ¡°I¡¯ve been staring at it for hours at a time and I think I can see how to switch out the Gauntlet and the Grand Hall, not to mention the bats and ants. They can be modular.¡±


    ¡°The wells support the flooding mechanism, though,¡± Lacey tapped the wells on either side of the main hall.


    ¡°That¡¯s why I need to do some work on it too,¡± Colt assured her, turning her by the shoulders toward her desk. ¡°I¡¯m on training the goblins in the new roles and I can do this too.¡±


    ¡°But,¡± Lacey made a token protest.


    ¡°I¡¯ll run any modifications through you,¡± Colt smiled his promise, turning on the charm.


    ¡°As long as you watch how you maneuver the mechanisms,¡± Lacey pointed a stern finger, immune to the charm. ¡°There¡¯s a symmetry to the bats being by the locked hobbit holes.¡±


    ¡°I know that,¡± Colt flicked her pointing finger out of his face. ¡°I¡¯m your partner, not some goblin. I also know that the whole section from chest 3 to the U-turn and the wide curve are used to almost automatically reset the bats for another run, but that whole swoop of the dungeon could be traded out with the Ant Farm or Water Run with some minor modifications.¡±


    ¡°Minor?¡± she took her finger back and tried to see what he meant.


    ¡°Like a tunnel here, and a one-way door there,¡± Colt pointed at the spots on the map and she could see what he meant. ¡°And if the Gauntlet was at the beginning, it could use the Water Run for flooding and the flooding would include some pets that could survive the flood.¡±


    ¡°Oh, nice,¡± Lacey nodded. ¡°That makes a lot of sense. And it would free me up to make up modules instead of whole levels.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll work on the basic framing system,¡± Colt rubbed his hands together. ¡°But I¡¯m going to need you to train the goblins on the trap mechanism corridors. I¡¯m not fast enough to stop them from misaligning some of them to the point that they end up shooting themselves.¡±


    Lacey laughed. They¡¯d decided to give a few special goblins some Georges, but they had to graduate from trap maintenance and have good dexterity. Most of them flunked the class. The goblins just weren¡¯t suited to mechanical things, and it was tough to give up their limited supply of the unnerfed Georges. Their original Georges could be slapped onto a wall of the dungeon and bypass up to 4 feet of solid stone. The nerfed versions could bypass walls, but only under 6 inches thick and a strong enough fighter could break down the wall with a little determination. To be fair, the new Georges also passed through average doors, the wrong way through one-way doors, and even secret doors if one knew where to put them. Lacey wouldn¡¯t have minded handing those out, but she didn¡¯t have a way to keep adventurers from looting them from the bodies of the dead. Georges, even nerfed ones, would ruin the flow of her dungeon.


    ¡°I thought you were going to let Ginger try teaching some classes,¡± Lacey sat at her desk and picked up a pencil, her mind more on a randomizing mechanism that could automatically remodulate the dungeon than lessons for goblins.


    ¡°Ginger,¡± Colt whispered, looking around for the little goblin girl. Once he was sure that she wasn¡¯t in the room, he continued, ¡°She hasn¡¯t got the patience, to be honest.¡±


    ¡°And I do?¡± Lacey frowned at her cup of colored pencils. There seemed to be quite a few missing.


    ¡°No, but,¡± Colt gave a wince as he noticed Spark stalking pencils under Lacey¡¯s desk.


    ¡°Just kidding,¡± Lacey waved at him, looking under her desk to find a pesky kitten playing with half her favorite colors. ¡°I¡¯ll do the classes, but don¡¯t blame me if a few more goblins make the no-respawn list.¡±


    ¡°I can reassign them to the warrior team,¡± Colt took the long way around Lacey¡¯s desk to sit at his own. The cat toys that had come with the drawing were of no interest to Spark, who preferred Lacey¡¯s favorite things, including Colt.


    ¡°The problem is that goblins aren¡¯t suited to mechanisms,¡± Lacey complained, using her desk¡¯s pedestal screen to order another cheap pack of colored pencils.


    ¡°You think we could design a humanoid species?¡± Colt suggested, scooting around pads of paper on his desk.


    ¡°Like elves or gnomes?¡± Lacey mused, her imagination running wild.


    ¡°It almost feels a little sacrilegious,¡± Colt squirmed. ¡°Aren¡¯t elves supposed to be super-smart or wise or something?¡±


    ¡°Dwarves!¡± Lacey used her pencil to point up toward the ceiling.


    ¡°I mean, it was one thing to create the goblins,¡± Colt reasoned, as Lacey searched her can of pencils for a color that could be skin-toned, her new box of pencils temporarily forgotten in her excitement. Those pencils were all the way over at the pedestal where everything was delivered. ¡°They weren¡¯t ever supposed to be as smart as us.¡±


    ¡°Are you worried about a minion uprising?¡± Lacey joked, choosing a particular lilac pencil with a deep red for shadows.


    ¡°I was worried about the moral implications, but now that you mention it,¡± Colt¡¯s eyes widened a bit. ¡°Aren¡¯t you even a little worried that the beetles seem more aggressive toward us than they were in the beginning?¡±


    ¡°Are they?¡± Lacey plucked up a dark violet for the hair and beards. The chubby cheeks and facial hair were jolly purples with deep red shadows, but the eyes were a fierce hazel-green color.


    ¡°Yeah!¡± Colt cocked his head to the side. ¡°And they¡¯ve grown appendages that make them perfect for jousting tournaments that the goblins are throwing.¡±


    ¡°Cool,¡± Lacey rummaged for an eraser to create highlights on the steampunk goggles perched on top of the stubby guy¡¯s head. If Dopey had a smart evil twin who worked for the Evil Queen, this guy might be that, except he was dressed in overalls stained with machine oil.


    ¡°You aren¡¯t listening,¡± Colt admonished her mildly.


    ¡°Beetle jousting sounds fun Colt, but if the beetles are too vicious for us, they won¡¯t make good mounts for the goblins,¡± Lacey gave Colt a pointed look. ¡°Did you want me to create mounts for the goblins? Because I really thought we¡¯d already decided that it was cheaper to buy some horses from town.¡±


    ¡°Okay, you were listening,¡± Colt muttered and bent over his own drawing.


    ¡°I¡¯m always listening,¡± Lacey smirked back at him over hers.

 Chapter 2.07 – New Dungeon Quests

    ¡°Dmail went nuts this morning,¡± Colt rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. They¡¯d been up late training their newest minions. Trap maintenance was now completely run by steampunk dwarven sprites that they¡¯d named Spunks. Rather than give them the stubby fingers of dwarves, Lacey had drawn long nimble fingers. The insect-like wings and addition of gills had made them capable of accessing mechanisms at any height or depth of the dungeon¡¯s dry and wet environments. They¡¯d ended up more cute than devilish when the beards had manifested as soft rabbit fur in pastel colors that changed color with their moods, which so far consisted of a red, pissed off at machinery that wasn¡¯t working, and purple, cheerfulness that bordered on desperate housewife crazy.


    ¡°Probably because we reopen this morning,¡± Lacey viciously twisted a scrunchy into her hair which was frizzy and crazed again, thanks to Spark sleeping on her pillow. Lacey had decided to skip a shower since they were opening in a matter of hours, but she was already regretting it.


    ¡°It¡¯s quests,¡± Colt frowned at the screen of the main pedestal.


    ¡°Really?¡± Lacey forgot about her hair, the lopsided ponytail sticking straight out off of one ears. ¡°Good or bad?¡±


    ¡°The good news is that they have some really great rewards,¡± Colt moved to the side to let her look at the screen.


    ¡°The bad news is that they all have a time limit for acceptance,¡± Lacey bit her lip.


    ¡°The good news is that one of them is for that back area you want to open up,¡± Colt countered.


    ¡°That one has 5 minutes from the time we open the dmail to be accepted,¡± Lacey worried, her finger poised over it.


    ¡°We should look at a less important one first,¡± Colt reached around her and opened one of the others.


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    Dungeon Quest: Can You Hear Me Now?


    Main Reward: Audio Enabling


    Choose from Tiered Difficulty:


    1 ¨C You Can Hear Them, but They Can¡¯t Hear You:


    Complete 5 dungeon incursions with no adventurer casualties within the next 5 days.


    Reward: Single-Direction Audio Enabled for Dungeon Watch System (Internal Only)


    2 ¨C Intercom Engaged:


    Complete 10 dungeon incursions within the next 5 days.


    Reward: Bidirectional Audio Enabled for Dungeon Watch System (Internal Only)


    3 ¨C It¡¯s Like You Were There:


    Complete 16 dungeon incursions within the next 5 days with no adventurer casualties.


    Reward: Stereo Sound System, Like Dolby for Dungeon Watch System (Internal Only)


    4 ¨C Use Your Inside Voice Outside:


    Complete 25 dungeon incursions within the next 5 days with no adventurer casualties.


    Reward: Level 3 rewards plus Sound Barrier Removed between dungeon and outside world.


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    The clock was ticking. Lacey and Colt were silent as they scanned the rules at the bottom of the dmail. They could only choose one difficulty level and if they blew it, they lost it all. Once they made the choice, that was the only quest. If they chose one too low and achieved something higher, they would only get the reward for the quest they chose. If they chose one too high and didn¡¯t reach the goal, they wouldn¡¯t get anything at all.


    ¡°We should go for 4!¡± Colt nearly quivered with excitement.


    ¡°25 incursions in 5 days is a big ask,¡± Lacey knew he wanted to be able to hear through the dungeon barrier because then he could talk with Kat or whomever else he was dating from out there. It wasn¡¯t the only reason, but it was a big one. Then again, maybe Lacey was being too hard on him. He hadn¡¯t brought Kat up more than once every hour or so the whole week that she¡¯d been gone. Lacey was more itchy to get back out of the dungeon than he was at the moment, even if it did mean seeing Kat.


    ¡°Kat said she was bringing a few groups for the grand opening today,¡± Colt reasoned. ¡°We¡¯ve been talking strategy over dmails.¡±


    ¡°We have 4 dungeon entrances now,¡± Lacey shook her head. ¡°If we reasonably ran one group a day at each entrance, that¡¯s only 20 incursions and they¡¯d have to ace the dungeon, something we didn¡¯t really calibrate for.¡±This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    ¡°We could pull a few modules out to make the levels faster,¡± Colt¡¯s brow said he was thinking furiously.


    ¡°This quest is almost designed to make us try to nerf our own dungeon,¡± Lacey put her hands on her hips. ¡°What a crock!¡±


    ¡°We can run two groups per entrance,¡± Colt crunched the numbers in his head. ¡°Or we can add some entrances.¡±


    ¡°That would depend on Kat and how many groups she¡¯s bringing.¡±


    ¡°She said one per entrance and I told her we¡¯d have 4 entrances,¡± Colt said. ¡°It isn¡¯t so much of a stretch that they could do a night shift. Do you think she¡¯d bring more groups if we asked her to?¡±


    ¡°How soon could get they get here?¡± Lacey countered. ¡°That guild took a week just to travel to the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right,¡± Colt took the disappointment like a pro. ¡°It might not be worth the risk, but I really think Kat¡¯s on our side. She¡¯ll help.¡±


    ¡°We haven¡¯t had the best luck with folks from the outside,¡± Lacey grumbled. ¡°And the dungeon is tooled to take some time. We agreed that the time investment would make it all seem more valuable.¡±


    ¡°But the max would be 10 hours no matter how well or badly they did in there,¡± Colt pointed out. ¡°It shouldn¡¯t be too hard to get just one extra incursion per group.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s assuming they all succeed,¡± Lacey chewed the thought around, the timer making it harder. ¡°That said, I think I want 4 as well.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t think it¡¯s too hard?¡± Colt¡¯s nose scrunched up.


    ¡°It¡¯s more that I think we can do without all the other ones if we fail, but the outside barrier being sound permeable is worth a try,¡± Lacey crossed her arms over her chest. ¡°And weren¡¯t we looking at these upgrades anyway? They¡¯re on our list of stuff to buy when we have the budget. Everything but the last one. That one is only available in this quest.¡±


    They chose 4 and moved on to another lesser quest. This one had to do with monster creation, and they chose the highest choice again, noting that the highest level was again the only reward they couldn¡¯t get from working hard for normal upgrades.


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    Quest Accepted:


    4 ¨C Masters of the Hoard:


    Create 20 new creatures for your dungeon and summon 100 of each within the next 5 days.


    Reward: 1000 free summons plus Early Access to Creature Upgrade Menus


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    For that one, Lacey would need to be creating and not managing traps, so they were happy they¡¯d gotten their Spunks fully functional. Colt could handle most of the daily maintenance and Lacey was itching to get into Creature Upgrade Menus. Those menus had been locked behind a level barrier that was more than triple their current level.


    ¡°Let¡¯s do the big one,¡± Lacey shook out her hands to wiggle out some nerves. ¡°We don¡¯t want to overcommit to all these and then not know that we just don¡¯t have enough time, credits, or whatever to finish the one we really want.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± Colt¡¯s voice rose on the end, but he brought up the dmail.


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    Dungeon Quest: The Back Forty Acres ¨C Part 1


    Reward: Forty Acres of Land outside the dungeon. This reward includes the mountainside and part of the valley behind the dungeon, as accessed by the dungeon¡¯s back door. This land will not be part of the dungeon and must only be used for breeding, collecting, resources, or housing. Access to this land will be restricted to those with specific permission from the dungeon masters.


    Choose One of the Following Challenges to complete in the next 14 days:


    1 ¨C Respawn 100,000 creatures in your domain.


    2 ¨C Level Up creatures in your domain a total of 1,000,000 levels.


    3 ¨C Have Adventurers level up 10,000 times in your domain.


    4 ¨C Level Dungeon to 100.


    5 ¨C Kill 100 unique adventurers.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    They had 5 minutes to try to do the math and pick the right choice.


    ¡°5 is a trap,¡± Lacey discarded that one right away. ¡°It might look easy, but if we get a rep for killing adventurers, they won¡¯t keep coming.¡±


    ¡°Not to mention that we¡¯d have to violate the terms of the AG agreement to succeed,¡± Colt agreed. ¡°I¡¯d say the same for 4 as I can¡¯t imagine hitting level 100 in 14 days.¡±


    ¡°Respawn costs a quarter of full price for a new spawn,¡± Lacey ticked it off on her fingers.


    ¡°At 50 credits per respawn, that would be nearly 5 million credits,¡± Colt did the math the quickest. ¡°Unless it would count respawn from a perfect incursion.¡±


    ¡°I doubt it, since that wouldn¡¯t cost us anything and there are hundreds of beetles dying every few minutes,¡± Lacey shook her head as she chewed on the skin on her nails. ¡°On top of that, we¡¯d have to trust adventurers to kill that many of our creatures and we aren¡¯t that kind of dungeon. It¡¯s another trap for suckers.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯d need 400 adventurers to each earn 25 levels in our dungeons for 2,¡± Colt crunched the numbers so fast that Lacey stopped trying to keep up. ¡°Divide that by 14 days and we¡¯d have to completely level 28 adventurers from 1-25 every single day. Groups of 6 brings that to 4-5 groups per day.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s insane,¡± Lacey waved her hand around.


    ¡°That just leaves 2,¡± Colt¡¯s hand hovered over the choice. ¡°If we were pessimistic and said that every creature in our dungeons could level up 5 levels every day, which is feasible¡­¡±


    ¡°Not the goblins,¡± Lacey fussed at the overgeneralization. ¡°They don¡¯t level during incursions unless they fight. We¡¯d almost need to count on the beetle population. They do most of the leveling. We birth about 100 an hour per arena.¡±


    ¡°If we keep the arenas running full blast and use the menagerie overflow to¡­¡±


    ¡°Do the math, Colt.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m trying, but this is a lot of numbers with a lot of ifs and zeros. You¡¯d have to level all the beetles an average of 15 levels,¡± he hedged. ¡°I think I did the numbers right, but if so, that would be hard. Really hard.¡±


    ¡°But not impossible,¡± Lacey reasoned. ¡°We¡¯ll have to triple the number of arenas we have because I don¡¯t think beetles do more than 5 levels on average.¡±


    ¡°But it¡¯s more than 33,000 beetles per arena if they birth 100/hour over 14 days,¡± Colt snapped his fingers. ¡°We have 9 arenas already after we replicated them for the incursions from hell. That¡¯s almost 300,000 beetles that would all have to only average 3-4 levels each?¡±


    ¡°That should work,¡± Lacey punched the choice.


    ¡°Wow,¡± Colt put a hand to his head and Lacey could tell that he was redoing the numbers in his head. ¡°I think I got the numbers right.¡±


    ¡°If not, we¡¯ll deal with it,¡± Lacey patted him on the shoulder.


    There were a total of 3 countdown timers, two for 5 days, and one for 14. Next to each timer was a value like 0/20 for the creatures to be created and 0/25 for the incursions. The one for leveling was already going up thanks to their arenas. The 21 was great to see, but it sure looked dinky next to 1,000,000. Then again, it had only been a minute or so.

 Chapter 2.08 – Grand Opening Rush

    ¡°We need another dungeon entrance,¡± Colt¡¯s fingers flashed over the screens on the pedestal.


    ¡°The cost,¡± Lacey winced, but she knew he was right. They¡¯d gone over the idea before and decided that the goblin workers were busy enough without having to tunnel out yet another opening. The new entrance also cost them in resources that they needed to have set up in treasures, which was something neither of them wanted to fork out. They could only hope that the treasure that they gave out would balance out with what they earned from the first few groups that came through. ¡°More number crunching. That¡¯s your job.¡±


    ¡°We have 9 of the arena dungeons,¡± Colt pinned papers to their wall with some sticky substance that Ginger had found for them. Lacey didn¡¯t even want to know what it really was. ¡°We¡¯re only using 2 of them with the new dungeon as the 4<sup>th</sup> and highest level, and the Aztec Tomb as the second highest. We can copy the Tomb or use another one of the arenas. I think we should split the first dungeon entrance so that we have a lower level.¡±


    ¡°I thought we agreed that combining the lower levels made the most sense since most adventurers can¡¯t even get out here without at least getting to level 5,¡± Lacey argued.


    ¡°I¡¯d say we could wait and see what levels are coming, but then we¡¯d have to delay folks coming in,¡± Colt ran a hand through his hair. ¡°You don¡¯t think they showed up early, do you?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re the one keeping up with Kat on the dmails,¡± Lacey bounced it back to him with a raised brow.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t think to ask her what levels were coming,¡± Colt admitted, his voice low.


    ¡°I¡¯ll bet,¡± Lacey teased him.


    ¡°We talk about business, just not as much as about other stuff,¡± Colt actually blushed with a soft smile that made Lacey sigh. Poor guy. She hoped she wasn¡¯t as hopeless as Colt when she finally met someone.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to know, Colt,¡± Lacey held up a hand around an indulgent smile.


    ¡°It¡¯s just that she¡¯s in transit,¡± Colt gave back a sheepish smile. ¡°Until we can upgrade the dmail system, folks have to be in a settlement of some sort to send and receive. We could go check the entrance.¡±


    ¡°And do what? It¡¯s not like we can waste a day pass just to¡­¡± Lacey started, but Colt stopped her.


    ¡°I could get Ginger to take messages in and out,¡± Colt swiping through screens to move their control room near an entrance.


    ¡°Do we even have time for this?¡± Lacey demanded as her stomach gave a little lurch that told her they were already moving.


    ¡°We can¡¯t afford to screw this up and I¡¯ll keep it short,¡± Colt replied seriously. ¡°I¡¯m invested in our success. I screwed up and didn¡¯t ask the right questions, so I can take a few minutes to make sure we aren¡¯t wasting resources. I¡¯ll get a set of workers digging a new tunnel to the surface, so we don¡¯t have to pay for the extra opening while I¡¯m out there. You just get the levels reorganized.¡±


    ¡°Say hi for me too,¡± Lacey waved him out the door and took up a position at the pedestal. She couldn¡¯t really get much done until she knew what levels to make, but she could power through the math on the treasure that he¡¯d left for her to do.


    If 50 gold bought a horse, then the chests should hold a total of around 1 horse per 5 levels of adventurer for a party of 5. That¡¯s what made sense to Lacey. She replaced the chests from the old dungeons. The old dungeon chests had been designed to frustrate the bullies that had tried to take over the dungeon before it really got off the starting blocks. She and Colt had filled them with tons of coal that were impossible for the NPCs to carry. Player characters might have huge backpack capacity, but they couldn¡¯t count on Kat bringing only players. This was why they needed to close the dungeon during the night, something Colt just didn¡¯t want to believe. They needed the downtime to recalibrate, so they were able to meet goals. Then they needed to sleep.


    To anticipate the needs, Lacey created and saved tiered levels of treasure that they could quickly move into dungeon chest areas. She tossed in some semi-precious gems for the higher levels so that adventurers could carry more currency without taking on too much weight. She¡¯d kept a small supply of the gems they¡¯d started getting from the digging expansions. They were pretty crystals mixed in with some relatively crude jewelry that the goblins had started making. She might have paid $20 for it at a Renn Faire back home. Here, she didn¡¯t know what they went for gold-wise, but she figured it was more than the credits they could get for them.


    What she ended up with was a series of chests that tiered off of the idea that if a party successfully completed the level 10-15 dungeon, they would find up to 5 chests that would hold a combined value of about 100 gold in coins and jewelry. Not bad for a day¡¯s work for an adventurer considering that leather armor ran 20 gold. A week¡¯s work in the dungeons could get a party enough to chip in for some good chainmail for the tank with enough left over for room and board for a week in town. It was the best that Lacey could do with the information Kat had provided about the local economy and the worth of gold and general equipment. For the higher levels, Lacey sprinkled in a bunch of semi-precious gems and the better jewelry.Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.


    ¡°You want the good news or the bad news?¡± Colt charged into the room saying.


    ¡°The bad news,¡± Lacey felt her stomach drop, but Colt¡¯s face didn¡¯t reflect the doom and gloom of another siege, so she braced and tried to believe it was going to be okay.


    ¡°The bad news is that we need more entrances,¡± Colt grinned like an idiot.


    ¡°How many groups did she bring?¡± Lacey put a hand on Colt¡¯s chest to stop him.


    ¡°4,¡± he gave her a cheeky waggle of his eyebrows, ¡°guilds.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Lacey¡¯s stomach clenched in panic.


    ¡°I know what you¡¯re thinking, but it isn¡¯t another siege, I promise you it isn¡¯t,¡± Colt held up his hands at the shock on Lacey¡¯s face.


    ¡°You can¡¯t promise that,¡± Lacey fumed at Colt.


    ¡°I can because, look,¡± Colt held up a few coupons. They were coupons for free dungeon closure. ¡°I made a deal that we won¡¯t use them, but Kat handed them over as a token of faith. She hadn¡¯t been ready to tell me about all of them right off, but once she realized that we had quests to do, she opened the flood gates.¡±


    ¡°If we use those, we¡¯ll lose out on all the quests in the queue,¡± Lacey stammered out.


    ¡°We won¡¯t have to use them,¡± Colt took Lacey¡¯s hands in his and grinned. He was too much of an optimist was what Lacey was thinking. He wanted to believe the best about people. She shook her head back and forth angrily. ¡°I swear. She started to spread the word, and 10 guilds wanted access almost right away. She vetted the best of the best, the most honorable guilds. And¡­¡±


    ¡°Colt¡­¡±


    ¡°And¡­¡± he stopped her protest with steadying hands on Lacey¡¯s shoulders. ¡°She told them they could only send the lowest levels to try out the dungeon. They sent waves of adventurers, but not to take over. They sent extra groups and said that each group would only go in once and only if there was room in the queue. There¡¯s a queue. And a waiting list. They aren¡¯t here to take over. They¡¯re here to grind a dungeon. There are just NPCs for now until we get solid and then Kat says she¡¯ll bring in some players.¡±


    Lacey looked down at the coupons and read them again, careful to read the fine print.


    ¡°I told her we wouldn¡¯t use the coupons as long as they respect the dungeon rules, and she said that was fine,¡± Colt grinned like an idiot. ¡°Kat wants to run the dungeon at all the levels available and then she¡¯ll send in players after giving us feedback.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s got to be a catch,¡± Lacey sighed and shook her head some more. The fine print was almost non-existent. If they wanted to break whatever deal Colt had idealistically made, there were no repercussions.


    ¡°Okay, maybe one tiny catch,¡± Colt hedged, but he was still grinning. ¡°We might have to let her cat come into the higher levels¡­¡±


    ¡°That monster would wipe the dungeon in a second,¡± Lacey protested hotly.


    ¡°So that he can keep the higher levels from breaking the rules,¡± Colt finished, and Lacey snapped her teeth together with a click.


    Silence hung in the air as Lacey ruminated on what looked like good luck. She took a breath and held up a finger only to close her mouth the next moment. Her racing thoughts stalled Lacey while Colt patiently gave her his sincerest look. It wasn¡¯t the look he gave his mom when he swore he didn¡¯t drink anything stronger than apple cider. It was the look that he¡¯d given her when she¡¯d quit college, and he¡¯d offered his place for her to crash.


    ¡°We need more entrances,¡± Lacey gave an almost brave smile, though her gut told her that she was being na?ve.


    ¡°I figure we can double up on the levels and let 2 groups of each level gap in at a time,¡± Colt jumped toward the pedestal. ¡°There isn¡¯t enough time for the goblins to dig them all out in time, but we¡¯ll make the cost back within a week, because¡­¡± and he held up a finger. ¡°The guilds are paying an entrance fee on a per diem basis. Not in useless gold either. They¡¯re paying in magic spell scrolls, sample loot, and Kat got them to throw in 10 each of cattle, horses, pigs, chickens, and I think the other one was goats. You¡¯re going to get your little community out there in the back yard. They are paying in seeds for farmers, stupid stuff like nails, and springs that cost us a fortune in the pedestal.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a lot,¡± Lacey¡¯s eyes got wide.


    ¡°Every single level one adventurer has a handful of nails, or springs, or seeds,¡± he crowed. ¡°You should start drawing elves for running farms out back. Like maybe some kind of elven centaurs with goat features or something. You draw. I¡¯ve got this part.¡±


    ¡°Are we even ready for all this?¡± Lacey muttered.


    ¡°We just had no idea how starved this world was for new and challenging dungeons,¡± Colt told Lacey even as he swiped and moved things around, including her treasure chests. ¡°These are great. Love the scalability.¡±


    ¡°Kat did all this?¡± Lacey whispered, nearly jumping out of her skin as a tiny kitten batted at her heels.


    ¡°Ginger and her teams can dig out 5 new tunnels,¡± Colt was saying more to himself than her. ¡°I¡¯m going to put most of her teams near an outside wall. Some of the adventurers are helping to build some scaffolding for entrances higher up the mountain. I¡¯m buying 2 entrances for the lowest levels at the end of the line.¡±


    ¡°We can copy some tunnels from down below,¡± Lacey tried to get enthusiastic, but she felt like that kid on the back of the train in the Polar Express. Things just didn¡¯t work out for her. Everything worked out for Colt though. Maybe she was skating by on his coattails. ¡°Let¡¯s layer them so that 0-15 go up and 15-25 go down.¡±


    ¡°Lace,¡± Colt stopped to look at her with concern, and it said something that he only did that once she tried to get onboard. Lacey wasn¡¯t sure what it said, but it said something. If all this worked out, maybe she could change the part of her entrenched in failure. ¡°You okay?¡±


    ¡°Ask me that tomorrow, after the grand opening,¡± Lacey put on a smile, but her jaded heart muttered, ¡°if we¡¯re still alive at that point.¡±

 Chapter 2.09 – Taking Chances on Honor

    It had been insane to take Kat at her word that the guilds were honorable. In retrospect, Lacey was pretty sure that they should be dead. They¡¯d rushed to get 10 entrances open by their reopening time. They were still fussing with economizing which mobs to buy to beef up their menagerie when their timer ran out, but the guilds hadn¡¯t come in until an hour later. A single goblin at the doorway had held up a sign saying, ¡°Please wait¡­¡± and the guilds had waited.


    Kat had chosen to enter the level 10-15 version of the Aztec Tomb. As far as Lacey knew, Kat was still cranking up buckets of blood to dump on the altar. The puzzle had been designed for a full party to work together to complete so it was quite the challenge for the single level 11 rogue. Kat was a trooper though and they didn¡¯t see her complain, not that they would hear it. Every time Lacey looked at Kat¡¯s progress, Kat was grinning like a maniac, even covered in the blood from the Aztec Tomb¡¯s wells.


    ¡°Think she¡¯ll make it?¡± Lacey asked Colt, not daring to look up from the creature she was creating on paper so they could get the hoard quest done.


    ¡°She¡¯s got plenty of time before the dungeon mobs reset,¡± Colt hadn¡¯t stopped grinning since the event had started. They had a full 10 groups in the dungeon, each on their own level, with Kat as the only solo adventurer. The adventurers had a 10-hour timer to complete the dungeon, but at 6 hours they got a warning that the monsters, locks, and puzzles would reset, making getting out as hard as getting in. Kat wasn¡¯t even at the 5-hour mark.


    The way they had it set up, the adventurers would have to get to the final treasure and back out by the time the 6-hour timer reset the dungeon. They found it unfeasible to provide shortcuts to the exits without opening themselves up to adventurers going through backwards and bypassing whole levels. Lacey and Colt could have done it with one-way doors, but had decided in the end that it wasn¡¯t worth it when they weren¡¯t sure if adventurers could figure out how to hold open a one-way door somehow. They were still testing out a lot of theories without a lot of experience.


    ¡°I think you¡¯re going to owe her another Tomb,¡± Colt laughed at the screen. ¡°She¡¯s having a ball. I want to splurge for the video playback feature just to watch her disarm those traps. She might have powered down, but it¡¯s like she can¡¯t forget mechanisms, right?¡±


    To start their newest format for their dungeon, Lacey and Colt had decided to provide only one level/floor of challenge. When the previous bullies had been trying to destroy them, they¡¯d layered floor after floor just to put distance between them and the intruders. While these new levels were only a single floor, they were tailored to only that level of adventurers. It gave the parties a chance to understand that if they did decide to descend past that level, they would face a challenge that was a much higher level of monsters. It also made the dungeons faster to complete. While the Aztec Tomb that Kat was on did descend further to the next level, she¡¯d then be on a level that had probably already been cleared by a higher-leveled group.


    Lacey tried not to think about how little actually stood between their control room and the incursions. They had the coupons to force a closure, but they¡¯d used up most of their backup levels to make enough levels to challenge the incursions. With a total of 10 entrances, they could be invaded by 50 adventurers at the same time. They¡¯d had five nights that they¡¯d used as 5-year growth spurts, so they had a pretty robust stable of monsters, but one army could still feasibly wipe them out.


    ¡°She caught on too fast to the puzzles,¡± Lacey worried at her lip. ¡°We got lazy on the NPCs and Hughe. Do you think Kat can handle the Manchester Room?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s the last room in the highest arena, right?¡± Colt pressed his lips together. ¡°The higher leveled group just got to it, and they are probably going to wipe. You think it¡¯ll piss them off?¡±


    ¡°We warned Kat that we weren¡¯t going to pull our punches,¡± Lacey took a breath to keep her nerves from jangling. It wasn¡¯t like they could change the room now, even if they wanted to. With adventurers in the dungeon, they were locked out of most of the controls.


    ¡°They seem pretty happy so far,¡± Colt worried, and Lacey knew that he was flipping back and forth between Kat¡¯s dungeon and the Manchester Room. The room was a simple chamber lined with wood. The floors and walls were smooth planks of wood stained a rich, deep cherry color. The ceiling was like the inside of a ski lodge with rafters and a pitched V shape that was filled with chains of thicknesses that ranged from an inch wide to a full foot. Some of the chains were studded with sharp metal thorns and some ended in wrecking balls that hid within the depth of darkness at the peak of the ceiling.


    The chamber itself was 100 feet wide and twice that in length with simple wooden benches lined up like pews. The entry wall had only the door the adventurers would enter through, and the opposite wall had a large stage. The side walls were lined with doors, all locked, and all trapped except for the very first one. If the doors were opened with anything other than the keys, the chains would begin to swing down. The chains with the thorns had a thirst for adventurer blood, but it was the wrecking balls that were the true threat. The ceiling was held up by a hundred pillars of wood, and once a significant number of them had been destroyed by the wrecking balls, the ceiling would collapse, and a ton of earth would crush the occupants.This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.


    ¡°Kat¡¯s going to pick the locks in the Manchester Room,¡± Lacey warned Colt, sketching out the details of whiskers on a pillow-monster that wore its poisoned feathers on the inside. When it was killed, it exploded, the tiny quills of the downy feathers pricking anyone nearby with a poison that Lacey figured they could level up and modify using the colored glow-worms.


    ¡°This group has a rogue,¡± Colt winced. ¡°They are totally going to wipe.¡±


    ¡°Good thing only one level has the Manchester Room,¡± Lacey tore the drawing out of the book and place it next to the other 4 creatures she¡¯d drawn that day. ¡°I¡¯m going to start on another dungeon level. I¡¯m running out of inspiration on monsters we can summon.¡±


    ¡°You should focus on the denizens for the back yard area,¡± Colt rubbed his hands together as he walked over to pick up the sheets and look them over. ¡°A pillow monster?¡±


    ¡°I told you, I¡¯m burning out,¡± Lacey grumped at his sneer. ¡°My other idea was an elephant trunk mimic. I¡¯ll start another set tomorrow. As long as we get some sleep tonight, I¡¯ll have new inspiration.¡±


    ¡°I fleshed out the moving wall system for the Aztec Tomb so that at least the maze part changes,¡± Colt offered as an apology. ¡°I¡¯ll do a map with you. We¡¯re always better thinking together.¡±


    ¡°You might miss something,¡± Lacey waved at the pedestal.


    ¡°Kat¡¯s the only one still in there with the Manchester Room wipe,¡± Colt flipped to another drawing of a creature that had a duck bill lined with sharp teeth, only it wasn¡¯t covered in feathers. The whole rest of the creature was a snake with centipede legs.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure Kat is about to finish the altar quest.¡±


    ¡°Dang it,¡± Colt grunted and hurried back to his desk to watch. ¡°This is why we need instant replay so we don¡¯t miss anything. If we don¡¯t watch, we don¡¯t know what we need to tweak.¡±


    ¡°I get it,¡± Lacey stretched her fingers and then shook out her hands.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Lace,¡± Colt flinched at her pained look. ¡°We¡¯ll work on this one together as soon as Kat finishes the Aztec Tomb. I¡¯ve got an idea for the modular mazes. I can at least grind out a few modules.¡±


    The fact that the adventurers had finished the levels by the 5-hour mark opened up the very good possibility that they could process 2 sets of groups every day. That was good since many of the groups had casualties. Of the ten groups that had entered the dungeon less than 6 hours before, only 4 had survived all the way through with no casualties at all. If they used the NPCs as a guide, their dungeons were too tough for the ratings. Only one group completely wiped in the Manchester Room, but 4 of the others lost at least one party member, with most of the casualties being at the lowest levels.


    ¡°It¡¯s fine,¡± Lacey scooped up a bunch of colored pencils. ¡°You can sharpen my pencils while I¡¯m working on a set of puzzle rooms that are itching at the back of my mind. If I don¡¯t get them on paper soon, I¡¯m afraid I will forget them.¡±


    ¡°I can sharpen and watch,¡± Colt held out his hand for the pencils, but didn¡¯t leave his desk. ¡°I¡¯m moving that automatic sharpener up on the list of stuff we need though.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± Lacey got up to give him the pencils. Her muscles protested in a way that reminded her that she wanted to design a treadmill for them.


    ¡°Ginger complained about the mess last week and I¡¯m trying to be better about it,¡± Colt admitted, reluctant to confess that a little goblin had intimidated him into cleanliness.


    ¡°Spark likes chasing the peelings,¡± Lacey¡¯s lips twitched.


    ¡°Then you take the blame for it when Ginger does that clicky thing with her tongue,¡± he took the pencils and waved them around.


    ¡°How does she even click a forked tongue?¡± Lacey pondered, walking back to her own desk.


    ¡°I do not know, but it keeps me up at night, I¡¯m telling you,¡± Colt exaggerated, at least Lacey hoped he was exaggerating.


    Lacey twisted the top off a soda that she grabbed out of the ever-full ice bucket.


    ¡°She cleared it,¡± Colt said, glowing with pride as if he had been the one to do it.


    Lacey ambled over to watch the end of the splitting of the back wall of the Aztec Tomb. Rather than watch it on another monitor, she chose to peer over Colt¡¯s shoulder. Just before the stairway down stood a large chest. Kat crouched as if expecting further danger, only straightening up when nothing else moved. Lacey didn¡¯t know what shape Kat had to be in for her to crouch like that after an hour of cranking up and hauling buckets of blood to dump over the altars, but Lacey moved the treadmill design higher up on her list of priorities. Adventurers were so much stronger than her and Colt. It was frightening to be at the mercy of their honor.


    Kat quickly checked the chest for traps and then rummaged around in the contents, taking the treasure, chest and all, into her inventory. Kat did a little victory dance of happiness before she seemed to remember that she wasn¡¯t entirely alone. Lacey watched and sipped the soda, thoughtful.


    ¡°She¡¯s right there,¡± Colt whispered, probably low enough that he figured Lacey wouldn¡¯t hear.


    ¡°It¡¯s too dangerous,¡± Lacey shook her head at him.


    ¡°I know it, but she¡¯s right there,¡± Colt repeated.


    It was lunacy to know that not much stood between Kat and them at that moment. One of the 15-20 groups had lost one of their group to a dozen level 18 gossowaries (a vicious cross between a goose and a cassowary). With only one full wipe, there was only the collapsed Manchester Room between Kat and the lower levels that were supposed to be off limits. They couldn¡¯t reset anything until all the groups cleared the dungeon one way or another.


    Lacey could imagine it. Kat¡¯s familiar was sitting at the entrance to the level where the highest level had wiped, crushed by the collapse of the Manchester Room. Kat could work her way down to the cat as it worked its way to her with so little resistance. Then, between the large cat and Kat, they could dig out the Manchester Room and probably be at their doorstep before the 10-hour timer ran out. It wouldn¡¯t be easy to dig it all out, but it would be a good plan except for the collapsed room.


    Lacey held her breath as Kat chipped a chunk of rock out of the cave wall and then used it as a paperweight to leave a note on the now-pristine altar in the middle of the final puzzle of the Aztec Tomb.


    ¡°Is that?¡± Lacey leaned closer as Colt zoomed in on it.


    ¡°It¡¯s a coupon for an hour outside,¡± Colt squinted at the screen.


    When they zoomed back out, Kat was waving at the ceiling before jogging back out the way she had come in. They must have had some kind of telepathic link, Kat and her cat, because the large black cat exited at the same time Kat did. Lacey let out a breath that she hadn¡¯t realized she¡¯d been holding, but only once Kat exited the dungeon on a wave. She¡¯d been good to her word.

 Chapter 2.10 – Yea! She’s Not an Asshole!

    There was no way for Kat to know that Lacey and Colt had tucked all the extra levels in layers between them and Kat.  There was no way Kat could know that the Manchester Room had collapsed, making it almost impossible to pass the lowest level.  As far as Kat knew, even if she was in communication with her familiar, the way was clear all the way down to the control room and Lacey and Colt were easy targets.  Kat could have been a jerk, but she hadn¡¯t even tried.  Instead, she¡¯d trotted out of their dungeon with a wave and a smile.


    Lacey let a smile form on her lips as the dungeon pulsed into a green.  Every level that had been completed with no casualties had completely reset and their quest ticked up to 5/25, making Lacey begin to hope that the darkest days were over.  The pace was doable.  Colt dropped the creatures she¡¯d drawn onto the pedestal and their hoard quest updated to 5/20 with the summoning tickers still at 0/100 until they summoned them.  Lacey wasn¡¯t sure what she would do with 100 exploding pillows, but maybe she could find a slumber party themed room or something in her dreams that night.  The big quest was chugging along at 35,122/1,000,000, but it was only a few hours in and the pace would be okay if they didn¡¯t have any really bad setbacks.


    Now that they were watching stats go by on these quests, some interesting facts came to light.  The beetles produced at double their normal speed when folks were in the dungeon exploring.  It only really happened in the active levels.  It was like the denizens of the dungeon knew when they needed to go into overdrive.


    ¡°Go see your girlfriend,¡± Lacey¡¯s dopey smile was as stupid as Colt¡¯s normally was.  ¡°I¡¯ll make sure the goblins know what levels to reset.¡±


    ¡°I wish,¡± he muttered under his breath, the floor lurching as he moved their control room close to the stairwell that led down out of the Aztec Tomb.


    ¡°She likes you,¡± Lacey admitted.  ¡°She just doesn¡¯t want to come off as a pushover.¡±


    ¡°Ginger will already be sending her crews to go reset those levels,¡± Colt changed the subject.  ¡°What if there¡¯s only one coupon?  You should go.  You need the air more than I do.¡±


    Lacey backed toward the door out of the control room, a challenge in her eyes.  ¡°You really think she¡¯d leave just one coupon?¡±  Lacey waved him to follow.


    ¡°No, but I don¡¯t want to get my hopes up,¡± Colt lit up, and chased after Lacey pushing her through the doorway.


    There were 2 coupons.  Colt took his and nearly skipped back into the control room to take the shortcut to the entrance.  Lacey took the long way, easily bypassing the traps with her George and wondering if she was hobbling herself by not forcing herself to figure out how to level up skills like Kat had.  Lacey was grateful that Kat hadn¡¯t taken advantage, but it didn¡¯t sit right that Lacey and Colt had so few skills in comparison.


    As Lacey poked her head outside the dungeon, she was taken aback by the changes outside.  The clearing had been expanded, though tree stumps still ringed it, the adventurers out there were using them as tables or seats.  Campsites had broken out like hives, their little columns of smoke drifting up with some tantalizing smells that told Lacey they did some hunting in the woods.  There had to be at least a hundred people, busy as goblins, turning their dungeon entrance area into a settlement.


    Lacey turned to look at the mountain.  There were 10 entrances, but it looked a lot different than the first time Lacey had come out with Colt.  There were 2 rows of 5 entrances and the adventurers had built wooden ramps to the upper levels.  Now that Lacey was looking at it, she could see a better way to organize.


    ¡°We should stagger the openings so that they don¡¯t have to build around the lower entrances,¡± Lacey said as she walked up to where Colt and Kat were talking.


    ¡°That¡¯s a good idea,¡± Kat nodded, but her brows creased.  ¡°Any chance we can run another round of adventurers through today?¡±


    ¡°I was just saying that we needed to reset a few things first,¡± Colt turned to Lacey.  ¡°I can go check in with Ginger to see how long it¡¯ll take.¡±


    ¡°No need,¡± Lacey waved him off.  ¡°She was heading out here when I left.  She wants to know where to put the treasure chests we got for the successful incursions.¡±


    ¡°You get treasure too?¡± Kat perked up, sticking her hands in the pockets of her leather pants.


    ¡°We only get treasure for the incursions where the adventurers voluntarily leave without any casualties,¡± Colt explained, looking for Ginger.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    ¡°We already set these guys to respawn in this nearby town,¡± Kat nodded.  ¡°The casualties weren¡¯t as bad as I thought they might be, but I¡¯m a little worried about the highest party wipe.¡±


    ¡°Are they pissed?¡± Colt asked.


    ¡°I won¡¯t know until they respawn, but their respawn time is more than a day and a half,¡± Kat frowned.  ¡°I don¡¯t think they will be, but they were the only complete wipe.¡±


    ¡°We were thinking that the final room was too tough,¡± Lacey admitted reluctantly.  ¡°At least for NPCs.¡±


    ¡°Do you have something different to replace it with?¡± Kat suggested, her eyes squinting against the sun that was setting behind the mountain.  ¡°At least until I get a chance to try the room for myself.  I can probably tell you if they were just sloppy or if was really too hard.¡±


    ¡°How¡¯d you like the Aztec Tomb?¡± Colt prodded Kat.


    ¡°It was great!¡± Kat¡¯s eyes lit up, and it was only then that Lacey noticed that Kat was cleaned up from all the blood and dust of the tomb.  ¡°Its well calibrated for the level.  The only reason it took me so long was that I was alone, which no one else would really do.  I gained 2 levels.  I¡¯m up to 12 today, but I can¡¯t hit that one that wiped until at least the end of the week.  It shouldn¡¯t take me much longer to level up that high to take it on.¡±


    ¡°I can tier down the Manchester Room,¡± Lacey felt the praise and let it sink in, but they had such limited time outside that she wanted to focus on solving issues only Kat could help them with.  ¡°If you want to try that level next, I¡¯ll set it up.¡±


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t suggest the Aztec Tomb for anyone that didn¡¯t have a rogue in the party,¡± Kat shook her head.  ¡°Loved the chains and sarcophagus puzzles.  I had to lockpick my way past it without a group, but I can see where it would be faster for the group to do the puzzle instead of bypassing it.  Do you have higher levels of the Aztec Tomb, or can you tier it up like you said you could tier down for the Manchester Room?¡±


    ¡°Tiering up and down is just a matter of swapping out monsters and arenas with lower or higher-leveled monsters and calibrating the poisons and difficulty levels of the traps,¡± Lacey pondered.  ¡°It shouldn¡¯t take me more than an hour and half to set that up, but if you want another run today, that might be pushing it.  We started late already, and this would push us into nighttime.¡±


    ¡°Will that be a problem?¡± Kat pressed, but Lacey could see that she wouldn¡¯t try to bully them into doing more than they could do.


    ¡°I was hoping for some sleep tonight,¡± Lacey admitted with a tilt of her head.


    ¡°We might also need to do an overnight refresh for the mobs we lost,¡± Colt blew out a breath.  He wanted to give Kat what she wanted, but he was right in that they could use a nighttime speed-up if they wanted to level up a bit more of the menagerie.  If Lacey and Colt could sleep at the same time, the stable of Gossowaries could give them enough for another copy of the Aztec Tomb.


    ¡°You need 2 hours to reset the dungeon,¡± Kat tapped at something on her display.  ¡°It¡¯s a little past supper time out here.  What do you say to breaking for the night tonight, and we¡¯ll try for 2 sessions tomorrow?  If we start a little after dawn, break for a 2-hour reset and then do an afternoon shift, we could finish in time for late supper?¡±


    ¡°That sounds doable as long as nothing goes too wrong,¡± Lacey exchanged a look with Colt, who nodded.


    ¡°That¡¯s beyond our hopes, so we¡¯d be pleased out here if we could pull that off,¡± Kat beamed.


    ¡°It works for us too,¡± Colt nodded thoughtfully.  ¡°We got some quests that make us just as motivated as you are to keep a steady stream of adventurers coming through.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m a little worried about our casualty levels, but I think we should run a few days to see if we need to change things up,¡± Kat waved over her head at a person who then turned to walk toward them.  ¡°I¡¯d like to introduce you to one of the guild leaders.  He¡¯s not going to do the dungeon as he¡¯s too high a level, but he came out to see what¡¯s what.¡±


    ¡°Are we safe enough out here?¡± Lacey leaned close to Kat before the man in chain armor got too close.


    ¡°Sure,¡± Kat gave Lacey a wink.  ¡°Shadow¡¯s closer than you might think.  Even if someone here had nefarious plans, Shadow is watching your backs.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t see him,¡± Colt leaned into their little whisper session.


    ¡°And that¡¯s one of the things that makes him so dangerous,¡± Kat purred, and now that Lacey was looking, she could see that Kat¡¯s hand rested lightly on a mound of air.


    (Lacey) Perception +1


    Once she¡¯d seen it, Kat¡¯s hand loosened so that it didn¡¯t look like anything at all.  Lacey realized that Kat had let her see.  The tall man in chainmail was getting closer and Ginger was peeking out of the nearest dungeon exit warily.  Colt waved Ginger over.  They weren¡¯t far from the entrances, so Ginger got to them before the new guy did.


    ¡°Bernard!¡± Kat called out to break out of their huddle.


    ¡°It¡¯s only a little after 6pm,¡± Colt turned away from the approaching newcomer to speak to Ginger.  ¡°Can we have the dungeon reset in an hour?¡±


    ¡°Reset easy,¡± Ginger nodded, but grimaced as she lifted up a little ball of fur.  ¡°Pet difficult.¡±


    ¡°Spark is causing problems?¡± Lacey took her pet, giving a sideways look at where she imagined Shadow to be.


    ¡°Yowl at entrance,¡± Ginger wagged a finger at Spark.  ¡°Spook unnamed workers.  They think ¡®ghost of dead adventurers.¡¯¡±


    ¡°We still have unnamed workers?¡± Lacey groused.  ¡°I thought I got the latest batch.¡±


    ¡°Too stupid to name,¡± Ginger rolled her beady red eyes.  They still got a few really stupid goblins once in a while.  Not knowing what else to do with them, Ginger had used them to clear and carry.  ¡°New one try take full treasure chest to water cavern.  Eve and Adam compete to see who can raise sunk treasure chest first.¡±


    ¡°My money¡¯s on Eve,¡± Colt chuckled.


    ¡°Ginger take bets,¡± Ginger turned a shrewd smile on Colt, her hand out palm up.  ¡°What wager?¡±


    ¡°Fine,¡± Colt shook his head back and forth.  ¡°You think Adam will fish it out?  You¡¯ve got a bet!¡±


    ¡°Ginger think Eve not get chest out of water first,¡± Ginger asserted.


    ¡°Same thing,¡± Colt shrugged and rummaged in his pockets for something that would appease Ginger as a bet worth taking.

 Chapter 2.11 – A New Kind of Foe

    ¡°Well met, dungeon masters,¡± Bernard held out a hand first to Colt and then to Lacey in turn.


    ¡°Bernard is the head of the Firestar Hunter Guild,¡± Kat said by way of introduction.


    ¡°Benny, please,¡± Benny smiled so big that it reached his eyes.  This man towered over Lacey but was almost eye to eye with Colt, Colt being just a tad taller.


    ¡°He¡¯s being very humble today,¡± Kat smiled back.  ¡°Sir Bernard Mattolth of Hamburg is a Count of the kingdom of Sumberton.  Your dungeon is on the border between Sumberton and Hillocks to the west.  I¡¯ve sent an envoy to Hillocks, but they haven¡¯t sent a response yet.  It will take them longer to get here than these folks because they will have to detour around the Goatherd Pass.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t see that Fenderon will be quick to send a representative after your suit against his nephew,¡± Bernard¡¯s lips twitched.  ¡°Here¡¯s to hoping that Sumberton shows better manners than our neighboring kingdom.¡±


    ¡°Politics,¡± Lacey muttered to Colt, then tried to smile at Kat and Bernard.  He might have said to call him Benny, but Lacey didn¡¯t think she could do it.


    ¡°An unfortunate result of social systems,¡± Bernard winked at Lacey, who ducked down to release Spark to play in the grass at their feet.  ¡°I am here on behalf of Sumberton to broker for exclusive rights to your dungeon.  We would like our kingdom to have first rights to the entrances and are willing to build and arm an outpost here to protect your dungeon from further unwelcome incursions.¡±


    ¡°You cut right to the chase,¡± Colt cocked his head to the side, still fumbling for something to appease Ginger¡¯s need for something to bet.


    ¡°From what I understand, you and your partner have little time outside the dungeon, so I felt the need to be upfront,¡± Bernard nodded, his tone perfectly sincere.


    ¡°With the higher-level fatalities, are you sure you still want to make that offer?¡± Kat challenged him.


    ¡°Were those intentional or were my people foolish?¡± Bernard shrugged with a casual ripple of leather under chain.  ¡°I can¡¯t know that yet, but I¡¯m satisfied with the current loot and entrance requirements.  My people are increasing stats, skills, and levels at a reasonable rate.  To show our appreciation, I¡¯ve brought a few spells scrolls.¡±


    ¡°Thank you,¡± Colt took the scrolls, glanced at them, and handed them to Lacey.


    ¡°The fatalities were as much our fault as your people,¡± Lacey admitted, reading the title on the first unwrapped paper.  The paper was rough, like the stuff in her art book.  She unrolled them all to quickly scan the contents.


    ¡°That is a very good spell, totally underrated,¡± Kat pointed at the clean spell scroll on the second sheet.  ¡°It¡¯s how I got cleaned up so quickly.¡±


    ¡°We are recalibrating that level,¡± Colt told Bernard, elbowing Lacey to jut his chin at where Spark was working her way up what could possibly be the invisible legs of Shadow.  Lacey¡¯s eyes widened, but she resisted rescuing her pet when Kat laid a hand on the beast¡¯s head.  Instead, Lacey gulped and read another scroll.


    ¡°Ginger take clean spell scroll for bet,¡± Ginger butted into the conversation, her outstretched palm urging compliance.


    Lacey wanted the spell, but she didn¡¯t know what she¡¯d do with it.  She wasn¡¯t even sure how to use it since just reading it hadn¡¯t unlocked some special class that would let her cast it.  Lacey flipped over a page to look at the back of it and still it didn¡¯t snap into her mind and let her suddenly cast it.


    ¡°I¡¯m not a spellcaster, so I can¡¯t use the spell myself,¡± Kat admitted, likely trying to pass the information to a frustrated Lacey.  ¡°But Benny has a few hedge witches around who don¡¯t mind casting it for a few coppers.  It beats a shower.¡±


    Lacey felt even more useless than she had before.  Sure, she could make the dungeon, but she couldn¡¯t cast spells, and she couldn¡¯t learn skills to pick locks or any of the other adventurer things.  The dungeon was great, but she almost felt left out.  She pulled up her character sheet, something she could only see outside the dungeon with the newer interface that Kat had shown them the week before.


    Name: Lacey


    Class: Dungeon Manager


    Level: 25


    Health: 1,075/1,075


    Mana: 1,700/1,700


    Intelligence: 45


    Will: 23


    Strength: 21


    Constitution: 22


    Charm: 16


    Beauty: 10


    Perception: 20


    Dexterity: 11


    Luck: 14


    Skills:  Appraisal (8), Bluff (2), Climbing (4), Comedy (22), Creating (41), Deception (21), Disarm Traps (1), Dodge (10), Drawing (47), Dungeon Design (58), Hide (18), Intimidation (12), Kick (6), Knife Fighting (3), Lockpicking (10), Management (10), Mazes (33), Mischief (15), Patience (11), Puzzle Design (31), Set Traps (43), Sneak (9), Taunt (3), Unarmed Combat (2),


    What good was Dungeon Design against adventurers?  They were vulnerable to almost everything outside of their dungeon and who knew if they¡¯d respawn or where if they died here.  Lacey felt awkward and vulnerable.Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    ¡°Would this scroll be something we could teach to more spellcasters in our dungeon, or would we need more scrolls to do that?¡± Lacey asked, her gaze caught back on Spark who was now perched nonchalantly on the air, licking a paw like it was her birthright.


    ¡°Each scroll would only teach one creature to cast the spell,¡± Bernard frowned, likely misunderstanding Lacey¡¯s slightly shocked expression as his back was to the place where Shadow obviously stood.  It might have only been obvious to Lacey, Kat and maybe Colt.  ¡°I can have more made for you.¡±


    ¡°That wouldn¡¯t be necessary if Lacey could learn spellcasting and writing,¡± Kat raised an eyebrow at Bernard.  She then turned to explain to Lacey, ¡°My mom was a spellcaster like that.  I¡¯m sure we could figure something out for you.¡±


    ¡°We aren¡¯t familiar with dungeon master skillsets,¡± Bernard looked a bit sheepish.  Lacey believed that he hadn¡¯t known and wasn¡¯t trying to get away with something.


    ¡°Neither are any of us,¡± Kat smiled and spread her arms in a shrug, stepping in front of her pet and Lacey¡¯s.  ¡°That¡¯s why we need each other so much.¡±


    ¡°You think I could learn spellcasting so that I could make my own spells?¡± Lacey asked Kat, stomping down her hope.  Hope was dangerous.


    ¡°I don¡¯t see why not,¡± Kat frowned in a little pout.  ¡°Well, maybe.¡±


    ¡°Your hands are already cramped up with drawing new monsters for the dungeon,¡± Colt protested mildly, obviously trying not to dash her hopes.  ¡°You want to take on another writing chore?  Maybe we could train a new race to be magic-users.¡±


    ¡°This is detail stuff that we don¡¯t really have time for right now anyway,¡± Lacey shut down the conversation, not fully trusting the company.  Bernard seemed like a nice guy, but he was nobility, and that didn¡¯t sit well with her.  She also could not find it in herself to call him Benny.  He didn¡¯t quite remind her of her dad, but more like one of the professors from college, one of the nicer ones.  ¡°Our more pressing issues are that we have quests we want to complete this week.  Let¡¯s just focus on getting the business done first and then we can talk about dreams like exploring magic systems.¡±


    Bernard frowned and Kat pursed her lips, but no one argued.


    ¡°I¡¯ll try to rustle up a few more of those clean spells for you,¡± Bernard spoke into the gap of conversation.


    ¡°And I¡¯ll ask around about how to train you up,¡± Kat lifted her chin.  ¡°Just in case you want to pursue something down the line.¡±


    ¡°We just don¡¯t have the time right now,¡± Colt backed Lacey up.


    ¡°I get clean scroll if I win bet?¡± Ginger insisted, bringing a chuckle from Lacey.


    ¡°Sure,¡± Lacey replied with a roll of her eyes.  ¡°As long as Bernard will scrounge up a few more, I¡¯ll agree to that, though I think Colt is going to lose the bet.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Colt¡¯s brow creased.  ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Deal?¡± Ginger stuck out her hand eagerly.


    ¡°Okay, it¡¯s a bet,¡± Colt agreed, frowning at Lacey, but shaking Ginger¡¯s little green hand.  ¡°Why do you think Adam will get the chest up first?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t,¡± Lacey smiled at Ginger, who rubbed her little hands together as she hustled back to the dungeon, the stack of scrolls in her hot little hands.  Lacey knew that the rule-following goblin wouldn¡¯t try to learn the spell before winning the bet.  ¡°I think Ginger will get it up first.  You only bet that Eve would get the treasure chest up first, not that Adam would win.  If Ginger gets the chest up with any or all of her workers, she still wins.¡±


    ¡°That goblin is more clever than one would think,¡± Bernard put in.


    ¡°She¡¯s a level 20 worker goblin,¡± Colt nodded his head with a wry smile.  ¡°She outthinks me sometimes.¡±  Lacey frowned, wondering if learning the clean spell might change Ginger¡¯s class like the Spark spell scroll had for Eve.


    ¡°Don¡¯t sell yourself short, big guy,¡± Kat put a hand on Colt¡¯s shoulder, giving him a start.


    Lacey looked for her pet as Kat and Colt goggled at each other like teenagers in the first spark of true love.  She could have rolled her eyes at it, but she wanted something nice to happen for Colt.  She found Spark still walking on Shadow¡¯s back or head.


    ¡°Those spells all level up with enough practice,¡± Bernard told her, also avoiding looking at the misty-eyed couple.  ¡°The mend spell should help out with dungeon cleanup.  We tried to think of what could help a dungeon.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d love to spend a day with one of your hedge witches,¡± Lacey¡¯s tone was wistful as she thought of the spells she couldn¡¯t yet read.  ¡°I guess I just want to do it all.¡±


    ¡°We should have time,¡± Bernard smiled down at Lacey indulgently.  He was an older man, though he didn¡¯t act like it hurt him at all to walk around in what looked like a ton of armor.  It wasn¡¯t full plate, but it had to be heavy.  He had a beard that was as much white as brown, and eyes that made her think of Santa Claus.  ¡°I¡¯d hoped to help figure this situation out together.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯d be cool,¡± Lacey admitted reluctantly.  ¡°I swear it feels like the minute I start to figure out how to do something, I¡¯m buried under massive waves of trying to catch up on what I need to do next.¡±


    ¡°That is the way of life, isn¡¯t it?¡± Bernard¡¯s voice was low and soft, but he looked elsewhere as he said it.  Beyond the clearing was a younger man joking with two others.  Lacey squinted her eyes against impending twilight that didn¡¯t let her see them too clearly.


    ¡°Guildmates?¡± she asked him.


    ¡°My son and a few of his friends,¡± Bernard answered.  ¡°They are one of the groups to come through with no casualties.¡±


    Now that she knew what to look for, the tallest of the young men resembled the man standing next to her.  The younger version was wearing mostly leather with a bow and quiver strapped onto his back as if he never took it off.  They were eating around one of the campfires, or at least that was part of what they were doing.  One would barely get a mouthful of supper before another of them jostled them and laughed at something Lacey couldn¡¯t hear.


    ¡°I¡¯m surprised that you aren¡¯t over there trying to get intel about what happened inside,¡± Lacey looked back to Bernard.  There was a system that messed with the memories of NPCs that went through a dungeon, but Lacey wasn¡¯t really clear on how it worked.


    ¡°They do not remember,¡± Bernard answered her, confirming what she¡¯d learned from dealing with Monty and his cohorts.  ¡°They were given a quest that will allow them to remember a successful dungeon dive, but they have to defeat 100 dungeon monsters and 100 rooms before they will unlock those memories.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t know that side of it,¡± Lacey considered what he¡¯d said carefully.  ¡°Once that happens, our puzzles may become useless.¡±


    ¡°Not true,¡± Bernard smiled at her.  ¡°They might regain their memory, but they are spelled to not speak of it with one who has not completed the same quest.  By the time they complete the first of those quests, they¡¯ll have outleveled the part of the dungeon they can remember.  They¡¯ll likely get another quest once they complete this one, with further tasks to remember more, at least they will if the dungeon grows past those boundaries, which we expect to happen here.  The brotherhood of those who have completed the quest series for a dungeon is an honored tradition in our realm.  Do you have any controls over quests that you give in the dungeon?¡±


    ¡°Not yet, though Colt is working on unlocking more controls,¡± Lacey found herself confiding in him.  ¡°We didn¡¯t know we could give out quests.  There is just so much to learn about it all.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ll get the hang of it,¡± Bernard told her with a gentle hand on her shoulder.


    ¡°What class are you anyway?¡± Lacey asked, distrusting this trusting side of herself.


    ¡°Bard,¡± he answered her, his eyes wide with innocence.  Bernard had the temerity to give her an almost bashful look as she continued to stare at him until he moved his hand.  It hadn¡¯t been a romantic thing, but if it wasn¡¯t for her distrust of older men, thanks to her untrustworthy father, she¡¯d have never noted the manipulation.


    ¡°Figures,¡± she rolled her eyes.  ¡°Dangerously charming men are the bane of my existence.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Colt straightened up from something he¡¯d been whispering to Kat who was blushing.


    ¡°We have work to do, and our timer is running out,¡± Lacey picked up Spark, who had taken to walking across the back of Shadow so that a few nearby folks were pointing and giggling.  Spark liked the fact that she looked like she was walking on air since Shadow was still invisible.  Spark didn¡¯t seem to like being plucked from her stage but endured it with nothing worse than a lowering of her ears.  Lacey cradled the ball of black fur in the crook of her elbow and applied enough scritches to gain tolerance, if not forgiveness.

 Chapter 2.12 – Rejects and Viral Velcro?

    Lacey and Colt recalibrated a few levels so that the Manchester Room took the place of the puzzle room at the end of one of the arenas that was suited to Kat¡¯s level.  They slid the Aztec Tomb up toward the higher levels by scaling the monster and trap levels.  The newest design, which they had dubbed The Zoo, had been set for one of the level 15-20 entrances.  They were still testing it out, but had wanted to key it to where Kat would go next.


    ¡°She¡¯s going to wipe on the Manchester Room,¡± Colt worried, his feet kicking at a trash can that was overflowing with rejected drawings.


    ¡°I¡¯ve wasted 2 hours on trying to draw these mini-centaur elves for the back yard,¡± Lacey muttered, crumpling up another page of paper.


    ¡°You¡¯re too hard on yourself,¡± Colt said, automatically.  The crumpled page fell outside the trash can even though Colt tilted it toward Lacey¡¯s throw.


    ¡°She might wipe the first time, but then she¡¯ll get it,¡± Lacey started to scribble out yet another sketch.  ¡°I hate drawing humanoids.  They turn out cartoonish.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t think she¡¯ll be mad about dying in the Manchester Room?¡± Colt took the trash can out of Ginger¡¯s hand.  ¡°It¡¯ll cost her a whole day just to respawn.  We should save the Manchester Room for when she finishes the other levels.¡±


    ¡°I guess that would work, but she¡¯s going to be disappointed since we told her we¡¯d put it in the end of this one,¡± Lacey was far more worried about hitting their quest quotas than what room Kat would get at the end of the arena.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been working on a room I could put there,¡± Colt said, dumping the whole lot of crumpled papers into the main pedestal, just like Ginger would have.  ¡°Remember when we were working on the puzzle room for Snow White or Rose Red?¡±


    ¡°Sure, we have a whole slew of fairy tales ones,¡± Lacey nodded.  There had been a time when she and Colt had been fixated on creating a fairy tale themed escape room.  They¡¯d made a whole business plan around it but had been rejected by investors.


    ¡°I drew out the middle room of that escape, and I think we have all the components,¡± Colt set the trash can back down nearer to where Lacey was drawing.  ¡°Will you look it over before I put it in the pedestal?¡±


    ¡°Sure,¡± Lacey crumpled up another page.  ¡°I¡¯m wasting my time on this anyway.¡±


    ¡°Last night, the goblins dug into a new area and found lodestone, which then opened up magnets for us,¡± Colt handed the paper to Lacey and pointed at the part of the page that would have used the magnets.


    ¡°That¡¯s great and opens up a ton more puzzle locks,¡± Lacey enthused.


    ¡°That¡¯s what I thought,¡± Colt perked up.  ¡°I was thinking we¡¯d put a key at the bottom of the well.  Remember how we put the magnet on the bottom of the bucket so that when they brought up a pail of water, they bring up the key?¡±


    ¡°Only if they let the bucket sink to the bottom and then think to look on the bottom of the bucket,¡± Lacey took pencil to paper and made a few notes.  ¡°If you put these notes along the sides, the system puts the mechanism in place for us.  This will make it so that the well only has a little water in it, like a foot, so that the bucket almost has to hit the bottom of the well to get any water.¡±


    ¡°If we connect some seaweed or long drippy moss to the key, they¡¯ll be sure to see it,¡± Colt suggested.


    ¡°Better yet,¡± Lacey grinned and took up her sketch book.  ¡°Let¡¯s make a moss monster that attacks them.¡±


    ¡°We couldn¡¯t do that in an escape room,¡± Colt nodded and took his schematics back.


    ¡°It can be stuck to the bottom of the bucket with little projectile blobs,¡± Lacey muttered.


    ¡°Is that wings?¡±  Colt asked, frowning over her shoulder.


    ¡°Nope,¡± Lacey stuck the pencil in her mouth and reached for a colored one to make the background blue.  ¡°It¡¯s a lacework of freshwater coral.¡±


    ¡°How do the blobby things fly?¡± Colt protested.  ¡°And wouldn¡¯t the coral be stuck to the bottom of the well and not the bucket?¡±


    ¡°See?¡± Lacey shook a pencil at him.  ¡°That isn¡¯t my problem.  The system takes the intention and makes it work.  I¡¯d think the coral is sticky and is attracted to the movement of the bucket into its domain.  It stiffens up in air to make it more cage-like once it hits the top of the well, with only those sucker blobs that it shoots out like¡­¡±


    ¡°Snot rockets?¡± Colt suggested making Lacey cringe.


    ¡°Fine,¡± she curled a lip.  ¡°Then we just set that intent and what physics or biology can¡¯t cover, magic does.  That¡¯s the trick to these things.  You have to let the system do some of the work for us.¡±


    ¡°Just your intent?¡± Colt made notes on his well trap.Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± she replied around the pencil in her mouth.


    ¡°That¡¯s almost magic,¡± Colt chuckled.  It wasn¡¯t that Colt didn¡¯t draw, but he didn¡¯t think he did it as well as Lacey, so he left a lot of it to her.  ¡°So, if I¡¯m thinking that the well is in a forest setting and just sort of sketch out a couple of trees around the edge.  Do they have to be drawn really well?¡±


    ¡°Not really,¡± Lacey looked up and took the pencil out of her mouth to drop it on her desk.  ¡°What happened to my sketches?  The ones I threw away?¡±


    ¡°I dumped them into the pedestal,¡± Colt answered, pointing his pencil briefly at the pedestal.  ¡°It¡¯s how Ginger gets rid of trash.¡±


    ¡°Do they manifest for Ginger?¡± Lacey set her rough sketch down.


    ¡°No,¡± Colt finally looked up at the pedestal which was glowing.


    ¡°I figured the pedestal would reject most of the drawings as too basic,¡± Lacey walked to the pedestal, ¡°but it¡¯s saying the centaur elves were done well enough to produce.¡±


    ¡°Then it wasn¡¯t a waste of 2 hours after all?¡± Colt shook his pencil at her.  ¡°Order one up.  How bad could it be?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t say that,¡± Lacey scowled at him, her finger hovering over the button.  The shadow image of the pony-sized farmers taunted her.  Did she really want 100 of them?  The female version had an antler on the left side of her head while the male had it on the right side.  They had typical elven ears, a hobbit¡¯s face and chest, and stout hands.


    ¡°Order a few and see,¡± Colt shook his head.  ¡°Stop fussing.  Just do it.  You can¡¯t spend your life afraid of making mistakes.¡±


    ¡°You say that to me all the time and it never makes me feel better about risk,¡± Lacey complained.  ¡°They would be the whole civilization of workers for the back yard.  I just thought I could do better, which is why I didn¡¯t submit these folks.  They¡¯ll hate me just for giving them rainbow rabbit fur ruffs and hides.  I would.¡±


    Colt gave a dramatic sigh.  ¡°You can¡¯t use me to push the button all the time.¡±


    ¡°Why not?¡± and a smile quirked at the edge of her mouth.  ¡°You going somewhere else?¡±


    ¡°If I have to get up to push the button,¡± Colt warned her with a serious look, ¡°then I¡¯m going to order up the full 100 of them right now at level 15, and that¡¯s 60,000 credits that you¡¯ll just blame me for.  And you¡¯ll have to figure out a place to house them while we work out the quest¡­¡±


    Lacey ordered up five of them at a measly level 5, and the first thing her creations saw of their creator was that she was sticking her tongue out at Colt.


    ¡°Greetings masters,¡± the happy colt clopped his hooves and stuck out his tongue, the rest of the creatures following suit.


    ¡°Oh, no,¡± Lacey blew a raspberry through her lips.  ¡°It named them Rejects because I¡¯d scrawled reject across the page.¡±


    ¡°The whole race or just the first one?¡± Colt huffed a chuckle.


    ¡°It¡¯s not funny,¡± Lacey lamented, smacking her forehead with her palm.  The Rejects followed the example and smacked their foreheads, maneuvering around the silly horns she¡¯d given them.  ¡°It¡¯s a whole race that I just stuck with a complex-inducing name and idiotic mannerisms.¡±


    ¡°You need to order some farming equipment to give them before they get goblin ideas,¡± Colt warned her.


    ¡°You were the one who dumped them into the pedestal!¡± Lacey tried to shift the blame, but nothing in her was going to believe it.  ¡°Why did you do that?¡±


    ¡°I was helping Ginger out,¡± Colt¡¯s voice slipped into a high pitch.


    ¡°Ugh, it took another one of my rejected drawings too,¡± Lacey scrolled through the pedestal¡¯s updates with a disgusted sigh.  ¡°And now it¡¯s counting them as one of the new monsters we have to make hundreds of to complete the quest.¡±


    ¡°It can¡¯t be that bad,¡± Colt lowered his tone to a more calming pitch.


    ¡°What are we going to do with a hundred Velcrabs?¡±


    ¡°What is a Velcrab?¡± Colt asked.


    ¡°A microscopic crab that forms colonies that can shift their colonies¡¯ shapes to mimic other things,¡± Lacey waved her hands around agitatedly.


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound so bad,¡± Colt gave her a game smile.


    ¡°They¡¯re viral,¡± Lacey explained, her eyelids dropping to half-mast.  ¡°They give you a cold by infiltrating your immune system through kissing.¡±


    ¡°Kissing?¡± Colt lowered his brows.


    ¡°What can I say?¡± Lacey groused.  ¡°I was inspired by the thought of having to watch you and Kat get all kissy-face in the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Colt¡¯s face twisted in a few expressions that settled on halfway between amused and insulted.  ¡°Jealous much?¡±


    ¡°Not a chance,¡± Lacey glared at Colt.  She wanted to date Colt about as much as she wanted to babysit colicky children on the night shift in the orphanage.


    ¡°Maybe Kat could bring a date for you,¡± Colt teased her, his mouth sliding into a grin that stuck there.  He¡¯d set his work down at his desk to cross the room to hers.


    ¡°No thank you,¡± Lacey pressed her lips together.


    ¡°We could double out in the back yard,¡± he waved his hand in front of him like he was setting the scene for the movie version of this farce.  ¡°I can see it now.  A little picnic basket under the stars.¡±


    ¡°Right next to the compost heap,¡± she muttered, but he wasn¡¯t done.


    ¡°A little moonshine under the moon?  Just me and Kat with you and ¡­¡±


    ¡°George?¡± she offered, knowing he wasn¡¯t going to let it go.


    ¡°Benny maybe?  Or, no, I¡¯ve got it,¡± Colt grinned like an idiot.  ¡°We could set you up with Benny¡¯s kid.¡±


    ¡°You want to set me up on a date with an AI?¡± Lacey nodded, her lips disappearing with how pressed she had them.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be like that,¡± Colt gave a look of mock-offense.  ¡°NPCs should be respected as the growing entities that they are.  After all, you wouldn¡¯t want your Rejects here to get the wrong idea about equality, would you?¡±


    ¡°Equality?¡± one of the Rejects cocked its blank stare on an angle.  The new summons were always a bit of a blank slate until they had some experience doing stuff.


    ¡°What are we going to do with these guys until the back yard opens up?¡± Lacey grabbed at the chance to change the subject, her face hot.


    ¡°Ginger put to work mucking out Gossowary stables,¡± Ginger piped up.


    ¡°We should probably name them first,¡± Colt suggested on an aside.  ¡°The last goblins she had mucking out the Gossowary nursery ended up recycled.¡±


    ¡°Is good way to recycle unwanted idiots,¡± Ginger pointed out.  It seemed a bit ruthless to Lacey, but did she want to keep this batch of them?


    ¡°Unwanted?¡± the colt gave watery eyes to Lacey.


    ¡°Jakob,¡± Lacey named the colt without another thought.  ¡°And that¡¯s Jennie, Jeremy, Julie, and Jake.¡±


    ¡°Still want in Gossowary stable?¡± Ginger asked.


    ¡°No, Ginger,¡± Lacey snapped a little more forcefully that absolutely necessary.  ¡°And you are wanted,¡± she told the Rejects.  ¡°I want you here.¡±


    ¡°Yea!!!!¡± the 5 new recruits cheered and then cheerfully followed Ginger to their probable doom.  She¡¯d only summoned them at a level 5 and the youngest Gossowaries were level 14.


    ¡°You old softy,¡± Colt chuckled into her ear.


    ¡°Shut up,¡± she waved his whisper back away from her ear.


    ¡°Start them off in a safer place,¡± Lacey called out to Ginger as she led the docile Rejects from the room.  ¡°Like the worm nursery.¡±

 Chapter 2.13 – Puzzle Masters

    Kat was cruising through the arena level they¡¯d set aside for her. They had decided to shelve the Manchester Room until Kat was done with most of the rest. They¡¯d replaced it with Colt¡¯s new Snow White and Rose Red Room.


    The arenas were simple in concept. The first room contained 3-5 beetles of the appropriate level. Lacey and Colt, without help from the outside, had rated this arena at around level 15. In this case, the beetles were level 13, a level higher than Kat, but Kat wasn¡¯t having any trouble with them. Beetles were dumb enough to attack each other as often as they did adventurers, especially when there were fewer adventurers than beetles. Hughe and his group had been able to get through a similar Arena at level 15, but they weren¡¯t as tricky as Kat.


    Kat used every trick she had to ensure she kept ahead of the monsters. Lacey watched on the screen at her desk, taking a break from the creation process to study an example of a peak opponent. Lacey wasn¡¯t drawing anything truly inspired anyway. She thought that maybe if she watched Kat, Lacey could get a feel for something new. Kat twisted out of the way of one pincher in such a way that the beetle behind her got hit instead. Kat could have just hacked at them and been okay, but she never slacked, at least not in the dungeon.


    Once the beetles were dead, Kat checked the room for traps and secret doors. When that assessment was done, she turned her attention to the puzzle of the room. Lacey and Colt had replaced all the pickable locks on the doors with doors that only opened upon successful completion of the puzzle. They¡¯d learned from Hughe that if a rogue could cheat a room, they would. Each room had a combination of three locks that had to be undone for the door to open.


    This particular room had a mad alchemist theme. The alchemist had 4 urns of liquid, 3 stacks of colored bricks, and a pile of brown sand. To solve it, one had to pour a bit of each liquid into a glass vase. The different viscosities would layer the liquids in colors. The second puzzle was the bricks, which had to be stacked by those colors. The bricks themselves would only stack in a certain pattern or the whole structure would collapse. That pattern was printed on the ceiling.


    Kat noticed the ceiling first, something she¡¯d likely learned from the Aztec Tomb¡¯s denizens that liked to attack from both the floor and from above. She found the bricks and the urns but had the wrong idea and smashed one of the clay pots rather than examining the contents. The room pulsed red in a clear sign that the puzzle had been broken, and a time penalty incurred. While that might not be obvious to an adventurer new to their dungeons, it was a recurring theme that people seemed to learn pretty fast. Lacey sat back and pulled out a piece of paper to draw while she waited. The urn would reset in 10 minutes, but until then, Kat wouldn¡¯t be able to unlock the door.


    Lacey was just ducking her head to her drawing when Kat broke another urn next to the first one. Lacey should have been drawing, but she found herself still watching instead. Kat ran her fingers through the liquids, mixing them a bit and then sniffing the end of her finger. During the down time, Kat tried all sorts of things that gave Lacey good ideas. She tried pouring out half the contents of one urn and trying to mix different liquids together. When that didn¡¯t work, she tried breaking one of the remaining urns with a brick that was the same color as the liquid inside the urn.


    The rooms had to allow for muddle-headed fighters with more muscle than brains to keep trying a puzzle until they could figure it out, so the resets were only time sinks instead of whole level failures. This room was one that frustrated Monty, their previous tormentor. Kat was more patient. She hadn¡¯t stopped exploring once the red light had come on. She¡¯d tried stuff, broken more things, and taken chances just to gather information.


    When the green light came on (a result of panels that slid over the top of alcoves along the edges of the ceilings that were filled with different colored moss), Kat put her hands up and reexamined the room with only her eyes this time. Lacey tapped her pencil on her chin. This time, Kat was more careful. She took the vase from the wall nook and carefully poured some of the liquid into the clear container on the middle table. Again, Kat sniffed the liquid. It was actually a yellow-colored oil. Tilting her head to the side, Kat poured a bit from another urn and watched the results carefully. This new liquid was blue-colored moonshine, and at first, the two combined the make a green color.


    Kat got a bit excited about that and looked around for anything green. Lacey watched Kat shrug and pour some of the next urn into the container; a red-colored water. The final urn contained a brown liquid that was almost sludgy in consistency. Lacey used to think it was funny, but as Kat turned her nose away from the now-combined brown mess in the clear vase, she figured maybe they should replace the brown semi-liquid with something better.


    ¡°Are you watching Kat?¡± Colt asked.


    ¡°What?¡± Lacey jolted from the notes she was jotting down.


    ¡°Kat?¡± Colt pointed at his own screen. ¡°Are you watching her?¡±This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey admitted gruffly. ¡°I¡¯m just looking for inspiration. How she solves stuff gives me ideas.¡±


    ¡°Me too,¡± Colt pursed his lips. ¡°She¡¯d probably be good at all this, right?¡±


    ¡°Probably,¡± Lacey let herself grump. She knew it was a graceless thing to do, but it was just Colt, so she didn¡¯t mind admitting her foibles with him. ¡°What isn¡¯t she good at?¡±


    ¡°Taking a hint?¡± he rolled his eyes.


    ¡°True, you haven¡¯t been subtle,¡± Lacey raised her brows at him. ¡°I doubt we¡¯d be as good at her side of things is what bothers me.¡±


    ¡°I hadn¡¯t thought of it that way,¡± Colt looked down at the screen.


    ¡°I had, and I do think about it,¡± Lacey watched as Kat swirled the contents of the vase that would then take a while to calm down enough to show the pattern. ¡°I just feel like we¡¯re sitting ducks down here unless we learn at least some of what she¡¯s doing.¡±


    ¡°She said it was mostly about skills,¡± Colt reminded Lacey. ¡°We¡¯re building skills down here even if it doesn¡¯t show up as easily as it does for the adventurers.¡±


    ¡°Oooo, puzzle-building increases by 1,¡± Lacey wiggled her fingers. ¡°That didn¡¯t help us with wolves, and it wouldn¡¯t help us if someone like Monty got through our defenses again. I just feel like a glass cannon down here. We should be able to defend ourselves.¡±


    ¡°I guess,¡± Colt flicked a pencil in the air, catching it neatly. ¡°We could always play some dexterity games to increase our stats if you really want to.¡±


    ¡°Or I could finally design the treadmill thing,¡± Lacey pointed out. ¡°We should be focused on these skills that make Kat so good out there.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think you¡¯re looking at this right, though,¡± Colt tossed his pencil again. ¡°Sure, we could get our dexterity up, but what good would that do us down here? If someone can get through our defenses up there, we¡¯re not going to be able to deter them with pencil tossing!¡±


    ¡°But that¡¯s my point!¡± Lacey complained.


    ¡°Not really,¡± Colt shook his head. ¡°Think about it. Our best defense is the dungeon itself, not our own stats. And that dungeon is better armor than anything a fighter can buy.¡±


    ¡°But I feel like a glass cannon!¡± Lacey stubbornly insisted.


    ¡°If you strip a thief of their lockpicks, they can¡¯t pick a lock,¡± Colt wasn¡¯t ready to let her win, which was annoying. ¡°If you take a fighter¡¯s sword, they¡¯re in trouble. Anyone is vulnerable if you strip them of their defenses.¡±


    ¡°What about magic-users?¡±


    ¡°They run out of mana and they¡¯re dead,¡± Colt pointed the pencil at her. ¡°Everyone has their weaknesses, and you just may have to accept that this is ours. We¡¯re only as strong as our dungeon. We have hundreds of goblins to do our handiwork. We have over a thousand mobs between us and any danger. Add to that, that we are a rare commodity that people seem to want to protect and nurture and if you ask me, we¡¯re on the OP side of this equation.¡±


    ¡°Then why isn¡¯t she in here doing this instead of out there doing that?¡± Lacey pointed at the screen where Kat had sat back on her butt to study the swirling liquids as they began to settle.


    ¡°Maybe this is something she can¡¯t do as well as we can,¡± Colt suggested the blasphemy.


    ¡°You just said you thought she¡¯d be pretty good at this,¡± Lacey cocked her head to the side with a glare.


    ¡°I was asking it,¡± Colt denied.


    There was a clatter and scuffle as Spark was chased out of Colt¡¯s bedroom with what looked like a dirty sock. Ginger came dashing out after the kitten with a fierce scowl on her face.


    ¡°Ginger drop Spark in river to help it learn to swim,¡± Ginger threatened the beast, but came to a quick stop as it dashed behind Lacey¡¯s heels.


    ¡°Ginger will not drop Spark in the river,¡± Colt admonished the huffing goblin.


    ¡°Spark give laundry to Ginger!¡± Ginger insisted with a stomp of her foot.


    ¡°Just use your Clean spell,¡± Lacey suggested, trying not to laugh.


    ¡°Ginger run out of mana,¡± Ginger crossed her arms over her chest and glared at the kitten. ¡°When Ginger get mana back, Ginger is going to cast big Clean spell at Spark and make white!¡±


    ¡°Ginger,¡± Colt warned.


    ¡°Fine,¡± Ginger stomped back into Colt¡¯s room. ¡°Colt do own laundry. If laundry in basket, fluffball not steal it out from under bed!¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think my mom nagged me this much about my laundry,¡± Colt gaped at the retreating goblin as she slammed his bedroom door. Spark sat beneath Lacey¡¯s chair grooming herself a good foot away from the offensive smell as if she¡¯d had nothing to do with the entire scene. ¡°I swear she gets more terrifyingly wife-like every day. Like scary wife.¡±


    ¡°I, for one, am grateful that there is someone else to complain about your laundry habits,¡± Lacey admitted carefully, leaning down to use her pencil to pick up the errant sock. Holding it out at arm¡¯s length, Lacey walked it around her desk and over to his. ¡°If only Ginger cared about your bathroom habits, I¡¯d be in heaven.¡±


    ¡°Maybe next time I won¡¯t stick up for your little furball,¡± Colt huffed, batting the sock off his desk with his own pencil.


    ¡°The whole reason Ginger has a pretty new spell is because she bested both Eve and Adam at getting the chest up out of the river,¡± Lacey watched Colt squirm at the reminder.


    ¡°That got us a whole line of new fishing gear,¡± Colt changed the subject. ¡°Have you looked at them?¡±


    Ginger had uncovered a whole new line of goblin activities with her use of a net to fish the chest up off the riverbed. Everything from fishing poles to crab traps had been unlocked. This fishing expansion had alluded to a section of pirate treasure including pirate ships that were completely useless in their current setting, except as perhaps window-dressing for a new themed maze Colt was working on. They figured that if they could include the theme in the design, they might unlock the whole section.


    Once the liquid settled into layers, Kat made quick work of the rest of the puzzle for that room. Lacey wondered if Kat was out there because she couldn¡¯t do what they did or because there was more fun out there than there was in here. Lacey had always thought it would be a dream to make their own escape rooms, but she hadn¡¯t considered that it might take the shine off of the deal to not be able to still do the rooms as participants. She didn¡¯t want to resent Kat¡¯s exploration, but a part of her resented that she couldn¡¯t do some exploring of her own.

 Chapter 2.14 – It’s Just a Glitch

    ¡°The Blurg was a shock for her,¡± Lacey commented, she and Colt watching the finishing scene unfold for Kat.  ¡°But that¡¯s only because our other rooms in the arena are set so that they fight monsters and then have a clear shot with no opponents until they finish the puzzles.¡±


    ¡°That did make it a bit too easy, but it also made for a good surprise factor on the Blurg,¡± Colt tapped the desk with his pencil.


    Kat was again the last to finish, but that was only because the levels were more challenging than her first run, and she was alone on a level that should have challenged someone several levels higher than her.  The NPCs had a better run this time with no full wipes, and fewer casualties.  They got 6 groups through without at least one NPC dying, and they were pretty sure that Kat would make that total 7 for this round.  They were still having trouble with the Gossowaries, and Lacey had made a note that they were likely overpowered for their levels.


    Kat was squishing the blob projectiles that the Blurg spit out, but she hadn¡¯t yet figured out that the cage held all the health points for the monster.  The bucket sat on the dirt floor next to the well, the key hidden in the cage of the Blurg which, at level 15, spit out 5 projectiles every round of combat.  Kat could crush 4 of them easily per round, but that left her behind the curve.


    ¡°We should hide a bag of salt in the room,¡± Colt suggested.  ¡°If those blobs are like slugs, they should be vulnerable to the salt, right?¡±


    ¡°I like it,¡± Lacey grinned.  ¡°That would give them fits too, at least it would for a character like Kat.  She¡¯d be wondering what the salt is for.¡±


    ¡°And the well is fresh water, so it ties the story together on that,¡± Colt agreed.


    In the control room, Spark was chasing dust bunnies that Lacey had made into actual monsters, hoping to help Spark level up.  The bunnies didn¡¯t do a lot of damage, but when Spark pounced on the little level 1 dust apparitions, the dust would pillow out just a bit and cause Spark to sneeze a tiny bolt of lightning.  Ginger disliked the things on principle, but they kept Spark out of mischief, so she didn¡¯t just dispel them with her clean spell.  Lacey had programmed the dust bunnies to give out cat treats as loot.  The whole thing had been fun to watch for the first half an hour and was good for a distraction now and then, but Lacey and Colt had mostly learned to ignore Spark¡¯s little scuffles, except that when Spark started to cause mischief, they¡¯d resummon a few.


    ¡°The blobs don¡¯t do much damage,¡± Lacey mused, her pencil tapping on her chin.


    ¡°They don¡¯t have to,¡± Colt nudged a little bunny out from under Lacey¡¯s chair, so that Spark perked up from her sniffing in a corner of the room.  ¡°Once there are enough of them, they can overwhelm in numbers.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a challenge for Kat because she¡¯s alone, but it wouldn¡¯t be at all for a full party,¡± Lacey worried, all of her attention on Kat kicking the bucket and almost accidentally doing damage to the mob generator.  Kat had leveled up to 14 just on this floor, and it was only the first level of the day, but the dungeon was leveling up too.  With 10 groups going through, they¡¯d increased by 3 levels this round, not counting whatever experience Kat gave them.


    ¡°We should include some mob dynamic where they have increased offense or defense against more opponents,¡± Colt suggested.  While they couldn¡¯t imagine Kat getting defeated by a simple blob making machine, Lacey and Colt were happy that the dungeon had gotten to level 28.  For that matter, they had leveled up too since their levels always seemed to mirror the dungeon¡¯s gains.


    ¡°That¡¯s a great idea,¡± Lacey nodded and added the note to her spiral notebook.  They had access to all kinds of paper since they¡¯d gone to town.  It was one of the things that were cheaper and a little more modern for them here in the dungeon than it was outside the dungeon.  Lacey liked ordering the spiral notebook because when she was done with the paper, she could reuse the wire binding material as a spring in trap components.  They¡¯d started including the notebooks in treasure chests and were amused by how well people seemed to like them as loot.


    ¡°She¡¯s got it now,¡± Colt tapped the screen with the eraser of his pencil, something he¡¯d learned did not trigger any interaction with it.  Kat had figured out that the cage was the real danger and started to hack at it with the pommel of her daggers.  It was resistant to slashing damage because of the stiff nature and holes, but blunt attacks shattered it relatively easily.


    The mob died, the iron key slipping out of the remains.  Kat grabbed the key and applied it to the little hobbit door that opened with a tinkling sound.  Kat might have been tempted to pick the lock, but she often seemed a lot more interested in playing the puzzles even when the lock was pickable.  A shimmer of airy lights burst from the opening, manifesting a treasure chest into the middle of the room, a new dynamic that Colt had built into his room.  Lacey would be using it a lot.


    What Kat didn¡¯t know, since she¡¯d opted to do the puzzle instead of picking the lock, was that the door might have opened with the lockpicks, but the treasure wouldn¡¯t have manifested without the use of the key.  Kat beamed at the chest like a kid at Christmas.  Lacey sneaked a glance at Colt to see he had a similar smile.  She rolled her eyes.  He was such a goner for this girl.  Kat checked it for traps, but the chest wasn¡¯t even locked.  The lid eased open, and Kat blushed.


    ¡°Why is she blushing?¡± Lacey gave Colt a suspicious look.


    ¡°I¡¯ll change the loot for the box for the next group,¡± he didn¡¯t answer her question, his attention riveted to Kat as she pulled a single red rose out of the chest.


    ¡°There¡¯s other loot in there, right?¡± Lacey¡¯s mouth twisted in a wry look.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he had the loopiest grin on his face as Kat took a moment to smell the rose.  Their display was only in black and white, at the moment, but Lacey knew it was a red rose.  Colt loved a red rose gesture.


    ¡°You poor sap,¡± she muttered under her breath, pushing away from her desk.


    ¡°Yep,¡± he smirked, unapologetically stealing Lacey¡¯s seat.  He had his elbows on the tilted desk and his eyes were glued to the screen.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    ¡°What else did you do?¡± Lacey turned back to watch over his shoulder, barely avoiding the dust bunny that was still trying to hide under her desk chair.


    ¡°Watch,¡± he answered as Kat pulled out a journal, beautifully wrapped in decorated leather that Lacey recognized as Colt¡¯s personal handiwork.


    ¡°When did you have time to make that?¡±


    ¡°I brought my old leather-working tools back from the apartment,¡± Colt explained.  ¡°I used the tools with ink like stamps and managed to draw something close enough that I like it.¡±


    Kat ran a hand over the front of the journal with her name on it.  Was she blinking too fast?  If that girl broke out in tears over the leather journal, Lacey would never hear the end of it from Colt.  She¡¯d have to peel his heart off the ceiling for a month.  Didn¡¯t she know that Colt was the master of romantic gestures?  He could do this sort of thing in his sleep.  Then again, it wasn¡¯t such a bad trait when he bought Lacey perfect gifts for her birthday or Christmas.


    Lacey slid her gaze to the corner where Spark seemed to be playing with a dust bunny.  They didn¡¯t normally summon more than one because they liked to multiply quickly.  Spark was one of those gifts and Lacey counted herself lucky that Colt was such a good friend.


    Kat was tucking a few other things from the chest directly into a dresser that she¡¯d pulled out of her inventory.  Those stacked inventories that PCs had were amazing.  The dresser held a small chest in one drawer.  That chest held a dozen wardrobes, into which disappeared a cloak, a pair of boots, and a belt.  Then all the furniture was packed back into the chest that was tucked impossibly back into the drawer of the dresser that was then put away.


    ¡°I think she liked them,¡± Lacey patted Colt on the shoulder.


    ¡°She put most of it deep in her inventory,¡± Colt said with a dopey grin.  ¡°That means she¡¯s keeping it rather than selling it in town.  So, yeah, she liked it.¡±


    ¡°Where did she put the rose?¡± Lacey played along with Colt¡¯s romantic scene, putting away her cynicism to not squash his moment.


    ¡°She tucked it into the chain on her dagger sheath across her chest,¡± Colt pointed at the screen, and it automatically zoomed into Kat¡¯s chest.  Colt spent a moment fumbling the zoom back out.  ¡°Oops.¡±


    Lacey laughed and patted Colt on the shoulder some more.  ¡°We should try making more fun loot like that for regular adventurers.  Unique loot might be a big draw eventually.¡±


    ¡°You think so?¡± Colt looked up hopefully.


    ¡°Sure,¡± Lacey shrugged.


    ¡°I just thought you¡¯d think it was a waste of time, but I do have some ideas,¡± Colt rambled a bit.  ¡°I mean, we have so much to do and filling out loot tables doesn¡¯t really do a lot for the dungeon as a whole and I was thinking maybe we needed more rooms more than we needed special loot.¡±


    ¡°We don¡¯t really need a back yard either,¡± Lacey pointed out.  ¡°And yet, we¡¯re fighting really hard for that.  I think whatever we bring to this is going to make our dungeon unique.  That¡¯s important, especially when they decide to bring in more people to make dungeons.¡±


    ¡°I never thought of it that way,¡± Colt glanced up at Lacey and then back to the screen of Kat, who was placing their coupons on the edge of the well with a stray brick to make sure they stayed put.  Now that they¡¯d had over 10 groups go through the dungeon with no wipes, those coupons would likely be for a full day outside.  ¡°Things get so pushy about moving forward that I think I get locked into these quests and their timers like it¡¯s the only thing we should be doing, but maybe there¡¯s room to do our own thing too.¡±


    ¡°I think the quests normally just seem to push us into things we already want to do anyway,¡± Lacey stared at the coupons.  ¡°Do you think the quests will pause if we take a day outside?¡±


    ¡°Maybe, but I don¡¯t want to chance it,¡± Colt shook his head.  Kat had started her run back to the surface, a run that was different in the Arenas.  Monsters respawned as adventurers went forward.  The arenas were always pumping new mobs out into the rooms.  The puzzle-locked doors were all now open, but Kat would run into a few mobs here and there who had worked their way out of their training arenas.  That had led to 2 NPC deaths in other groups just this time around, but Lacey doubted that Kat would fall to a few surprise mobs.  ¡°We¡¯ll try it tonight maybe.¡±


    ¡°We are way ahead on almost all our quests,¡± Lacey reasoned, but she didn¡¯t want to risk their progress any more than he did.


    Inside/Outside Voice:  11/25 (96/120 hours remaining)


    Masters of the Hoard: 9/20: 5/100 Rejects, 10/100 Snucks, 0/100 Poillows, 12/100 Dustapps, 1/100 Blurgs, 0/100 Velcrabs, 0/100 Droffles, 0/100 Smugs, 0/100 Burrugs, 0/100 Krettles, 0/100 Krowls, 0/100, 0/100, 0/100, 0/100, 0/100, 0/100, 0/100, 0/100, 0/100 (96/120 hours remaining)


    Back Forty Acres: 81,912/1,000,000 (312/336 hours remaining)


    ¡°We can¡¯t afford to take time off of that Back Forty quest,¡± Colt shook his head.  ¡°If that one counts our time outside, we¡¯re sunk and we really need that one for you.¡±


    While they¡¯d done the equivalent of 5 years progress the night before while they¡¯d slept, the levels of the monsters of the dungeon hadn¡¯t counted.  Lacey agreed with Colt that if the time dilation for the dungeon hadn¡¯t been useful for pumping up that quest, there was no reason to believe that the time would stop on their quests like they had for their dungeon closure.  Maybe if they had more coupons or the Back Forty Quest wasn¡¯t so tight, they could try it out, but Lacey would rather stay put for the full fourteen days.


    They¡¯d also gotten a coupon for a trip back to Colt¡¯s mom¡¯s place for Sunday dinner, but they were waiting on that too.  It felt irresponsible to both of them to use the coupons before they¡¯d finished this set of quests.  Colt and Lacey had talked it out over lunch and decided that they¡¯d clear the board of quests before they did any more excursions.


    ¡°And she¡¯s out,¡± Colt called out as Kat gave her wave at the exit.


    ¡°Did Shadow stay in?¡± Lacey asked when the dungeon didn¡¯t immediately turn green.


    ¡°I don¡¯t see him, but that doesn¡¯t mean much,¡± Colt squinted at the screen, focusing on the room where Shadow generally lounged about until Kat went out.


    ¡°It¡¯s not like we could just go down there and chase him out,¡± Lacey shooed Colt out of her chair and over to the pedestal.  ¡°Take these with you.¡±  Lacey waved her 2 new designs for the pedestal at him.  It wasn¡¯t much for her normal contribution, but she felt like she had some ample inspiration to sketch out during the next shift.


    ¡°Pedestal, are there any adventurers in the dungeon still?¡± Colt asked out loud, something they only did with direct queries as it was faster than sorting through the help menus.


    ¡°There is one adventurer still in the dungeon,¡± the pedestal answered.


    ¡°Pedestal, show adventurer still in dungeon,¡± Colt commanded, then frowned at whatever he saw on the pedestal.  ¡°That can¡¯t be right.¡±


    ¡°What?¡± Lacey looked up from her monitor where she was watching Shadow¡¯s favorite room, the highest leveled entrance to the Zoo.  Adam sat with one of his elites at their desk in the middle of the room, but they were kicked back with their hands behind their heads chatting.  They tended to be a bit more skittish around the big cat, though maybe they were just getting used to him.


    ¡°The screen shows the control room,¡± Colt answered her, unpinching on the screen to zoom in.  ¡°In fact, it¡¯s focused on Spark.  The pedestal doesn¡¯t consider Spark an adventurer, does it?¡±


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t make any sense,¡± Lacey glanced over at Spark, who was chasing something out of her imagination across the floor toward the door.


    ¡°If it isn¡¯t focused on Spark, then someone else would have to be in the room,¡± Colt insisted, backing away from where Spark was playing.


    ¡°If someone other than one of us was in this room, we¡¯d get an imminent wipe notification, wouldn¡¯t we?¡± Lacey was remembering how the system had responded when Hughe had delved far enough into the dungeon to get to the control room.


    ¡°A glitch?¡± Colt offered as they both watched Spark skitter out the door and then back inside as if she had seen a ghost just past the doorway.

 Chapter 2.15 – Cats Laugh

    They did 3 checks on the adventurer still in the dungeon, but the pedestal seemed to be picking random rooms, some of which were even behind one-way doors that adventurers didn¡¯t normally get into. By the time the dungeon turned green, Colt and Lacey were just scratching their heads. They retrieved their coupons from Kat¡¯s end-room and were pleasantly surprised by 2 1-hour coupons, 2 full-day coupons, and a quickly scribbled note.


    This time when they left, Lacey marked down the exact times on the quest timers, asking the temporary pedestal for minutes and seconds on the quests. Lacey picked up Spark to take out with her, but only after a glare from Ginger. Colt was the one who stayed late to reset a few things for the second run-through of the day, but he didn¡¯t leave Kat waiting more than 5 minutes. Goblins scrambled around to try to quickly reset the 3 levels that hadn¡¯t automatically reset, but Ginger was confident that they¡¯d be ready for the second run within the hour.


    ¡°Was that goblin shit?¡± Kat pointed a finger at Lacey, who was really glad that Kat had obviously gotten a clean spell cast on her. Spark batted at the finger playfully.


    ¡°Was what goblin shit?¡± Lacey tried to act innocent.


    ¡°The brown stuff in one of those urns in the first room,¡± Kat laughed at Lacey¡¯s expression. ¡°It was goblin shit. That¡¯s low. Even for Colt.¡±


    Lacey considered letting Colt take the blame for the puzzle, but Kat cocked her head to the side as Lacey pressed her lips together and looked up.


    ¡°You put goblin shit in the dungeon as a puzzle ingredient,¡± Kat gaped.


    ¡°Technically goblin diarrhea, but we¡¯re already considering other substances,¡± Lacey tried to hold back a grin. ¡°We had so little to work with in the beginning and we haven¡¯t updated some of the puzzles since we now have respectful crawlers.¡±


    Kat gave a shudder. ¡°That aside, good set of puzzles that were good at slowing things down, and the loot was good, but I have to ask how you¡¯re getting the beetles into the rooms at just the right level? Are you summoning new ones every time?¡±


    ¡°We call the levels Arenas because we have a central area where the beetles battle each other,¡± Lacey explained, not seeing any need for secrecy. ¡°We have incentives for the ones who are strong enough to fight their way into another arena, and escape routes for ones that are running from the more powerful ones.¡±


    ¡°Interesting,¡± Kat reached out to scritch Spark on the top of the head.


    ¡°I was wondering,¡± Lacey held Spark out until she squirmed to be let down. ¡°We use a lot of one-way doors in the arenas that allow the beetles to populate the puzzle rooms. Can you, as an adventurer, get through those doors?¡±


    ¡°I probably could have at my old levels,¡± Kat admitted. ¡°I haven¡¯t seen any of them, so I didn¡¯t even know to look.¡±


    ¡°Maybe I shouldn¡¯t have admitted it,¡± Lacey worried, watching as Spark scampered across the grass to where Shadow was lounging near the higher-leveled entrance.


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t want to go through them anyway,¡± Kat waved a hand at the thought. ¡°I mean, I might sometime, just to see the inner workings and such, but we¡¯re pals. I wouldn¡¯t want to piss you off by going where you obviously don¡¯t want us.¡±


    ¡°What level do you think someone would have to be to bypass a one-way door?¡± Lacey asked, just as Colt was walking up.


    ¡°I guess like 10 or so, but they¡¯d have to notice, and your beetles don¡¯t seem to come out when there are adventurers in the room,¡± Kat blushed and tried to ignore Colt giving her a bashful smile. ¡°It¡¯s not that I couldn¡¯t bypass it or even notice it if I really wanted to, but it¡¯s more like noticing an employee-only sign. Some of us are just respectful enough to leave those areas alone.¡±


    ¡°Your search for secret doors didn¡¯t reveal them?¡± Lacey asked.


    ¡°No,¡± Kat looked over Lacey¡¯s head at Colt and then immediately focused back on Lacey. ¡°You almost have to know one¡¯s there or catch something coming out. Then you can kind of pry it open and slip inside the wrong way. Honestly, I just don¡¯t run into a lot of them with system-created dungeons. They¡¯re a lot more straightforward hack-and-slash with a dash of story. Why do you ask?¡±


    ¡°We had a weird glitch happen,¡± Colt admitted, just as Lacey said, ¡°It¡¯s nothing.¡±


    ¡°Glitch?¡± Kat quirked an eyebrow.


    ¡°Like, was Shadow inside the dungeon longer than you by a bit?¡± Lacey tried to posit the most logical explanation. ¡°I don¡¯t think of Shadow as a threat or anything with how easy everything¡¯s gone, but the dungeon didn¡¯t clear until a good 6 to 7 minutes after you left.¡±This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    ¡°He was a little slow coming out, but not that slow,¡± Kat cast a quick glance to Shadow. ¡°Maybe 2 to 3 minutes. He said he sensed something, but it turned into nothing important.¡±


    ¡°The pedestal said that there was an adventurer still in the dungeon,¡± Colt explained. ¡°We looked for them and the pedestal first showed us our control room.¡±


    ¡°Which is impossible because if a danger was in our control room, it would have been screaming at us that we were in danger,¡± Lacey put in. ¡°That¡¯s what it did when Hughe came through. It had to have been a glitch or something. Computers glitch.¡±


    ¡°The system isn¡¯t a computer and in my experience it doesn¡¯t glitch,¡± Kat frowned. ¡°At least not like that. It has an attitude sometimes,¡± a statement that was met with a light peal of thunder in the distance, ¡°but if something happens, it¡¯s for a purpose.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean it¡¯s not a computer?¡± Colt asked.


    ¡°It¡¯s part machine and part, a bigger part, magic,¡± Kat lifted one hand higher than the other.


    ¡°Like real magic?¡± Lacey¡¯s forehead creased. ¡°How does that work?¡±


    ¡°The machine part is computer stuff and a typewriter,¡± Kat explained like she was talking about something normal. Maybe it was normal for her, but it made Lacey feel like she was crazy again.


    ¡°Are you saying that the real world, our world, has magic in it?¡± Lacey scoffed, trying to make it make sense.


    ¡°Oh, yeah,¡± Kat nodded fiercely. ¡°A lot more than you would think and its pretty wrapped up in very few beings in the real world who all give each other a wide berth. This whole thing here is sucking up most of the magic from both Americas, from what we can tell. I¡¯m just glad no one¡¯s dropped by to see why we took over this particular area. Maybe they don¡¯t know or¡­¡±


    Kat rambled off into a stop at the looks of bafflement on Colt¡¯s face and the look of terror on Lacey¡¯s. Lacey¡¯s fear was that she¡¯d just gone crazy one day and was actually locked up in one of those funny houses that weren¡¯t funny unless you really liked crazy drugs.


    ¡°Ah, hem.¡± Kat cleared her voice and changed the direction of her ramblings a bit. ¡°I mean, how did you think you got in here anyway?¡±


    ¡°A magic door that jumps around in time a lot,¡± Colt answered. ¡°And it only makes sense the way you put it, but I guess I didn¡¯t really think about what it meant for what I generally believed was how the world worked.¡±


    ¡°You didn¡¯t think a magic door that could transport multiple people in and out of time and a fictional universe was running on some pretty strong magical basis?¡± Kat looked like she was reevaluating Colt¡¯s perceived intelligence.


    ¡°I just didn¡¯t think about it all that much at all,¡± Colt gave a little half-smile. ¡°Things like this, you think about them too much and they maybe stop working.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m still trying not to think about it,¡± Lacey admitted.


    ¡°Interesting,¡± Kat pressed her lips together. ¡°Luckily some really great people are doing all that thinking for us, so we can just enjoy the ride.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey thought maybe she¡¯d just been insulted, but Kat was smiling like nothing was wrong.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Kat patted Lacey¡¯s shoulder. ¡°It¡¯s probably best you don¡¯t think about that stuff too hard.¡±


    ¡°There you are!¡± Benard interrupted the conversation, a welcome distraction from what couldn¡¯t be real and somehow was. ¡°This round was much better and closer to what our expectations were.¡±


    ¡°I can readily admit that this rounds¡¯ casualties are more your peoples¡¯ faults than ours,¡± Colt grinned at the man while Lacey was stills staring at Kat. ¡°Though the Gossowaries are not to be taken lightly. Vicious things. Feel free to pass that warning around to see if maybe we can get that death rate down a bit more with a tiny bit of caution.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve got an arrogant bastard sitting in a respawn bed that could have used that warning a few more times during his pampered youth,¡± Bernard laughed at Colt and the two patted shoulders the way men did.


    ¡°Then I say little harm was done in a more forceful warning,¡± Colt laughed with the older man.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you think that I won¡¯t be rubbing that little stinger in the wound when he returns for another run,¡± Bernard¡¯s laugh tinkled with charm that just hit Lacey a little wrong.


    ¡°He¡¯s not a bad guy,¡± Kat whispered to Lacey, pulling her to the side. ¡°You doing okay?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, and this round did go a lot smoother,¡± Lacey let the topic of magic, and the real world go, reluctantly agreeing with Colt on it being silly to dwell on something they could just enjoy. The quests were more than enough pressure without adding the running of a magical world system. ¡°We¡¯ll bring down the level on the Gossowaries, but only slightly.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t do that yet,¡± Kat steered Lacey away from the boys joking blustering. ¡°If I could manage the herd of Gossowaries in the Aztec Tomb¡¯s first corridor alone, then they can learn a thing or two from getting their asses kicked. Benny will warn a few and the word will spread. That¡¯ll likely do enough to level that out. I¡¯m happy with the results of this last round, but that last room did not look like a Manchester Room. What happened?¡±


    ¡°We replaced it with a room that Colt worked up last night and this morning,¡± Lacey relaxed more now that she was back on solid mental ground. ¡°We had these fairy tale rooms we were working on, and I think he wanted to show off for you.¡±


    ¡°Oh,¡± and Lacey felt herself smile at Kat being set back a bit out of her comfort zone. ¡°I just wanted to make sure that you hadn¡¯t nerfed the Manchester Room before I had a chance to try it.¡±


    ¡°We still want to let you get a try at it, but not before you go through the more reasonable ones,¡± Lacey bumped shoulders with Kat. ¡°Don¡¯t worry. We¡¯ll let you try it after all the others.¡±


    ¡°You think I¡¯m going to wipe,¡± Kat¡¯s eyes narrowed.


    ¡°Maybe,¡± Lacey¡¯s lips twitched.


    ¡°Challenge accepted,¡± Kat grinned.


    ¡°Do not leave me alone with that man for long,¡± Colt muttered in Lacey and Kat¡¯s ears, draping arms over their shoulders as if he was sharing something very funny. ¡°Benny is such a storyteller!¡±


    Lacey laughed with Colt, always his wingman. Talk turned to how Kat had liked the loot of the final chest and Lacey excused herself to join the cats. With the sun overhead, and the breeze soft, Lacey was ready to take a nap.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t happen to sneak down into the control room, did you?¡± Lacey asked the big cat, marveling that his paw was as big as Spark all curled up.


    ¡°Nope,¡± came the reply in her mind and Lacey jumped like she¡¯d been burned. Lacey didn¡¯t know which was more disconcerting, the fact that cats laughed or that Shadow had gotten Spark to laugh with him.

 Chapter 2.16 – Temple Run

    ¡°I have an idea for a new level,¡± Colt shoved a paper onto her desk and tucked a pencil behind his ear so that he could use his hands to explain.  ¡°It¡¯s actually a new kind of level.¡±


    ¡°Looks like a mirrored dungeon,¡± Lacey frowned at the paper, shoving her notepad to the side.  ¡°Why are there 2 main doors?¡±


    ¡°It would be a race,¡± Colt spread his hands and held up one palm each to represent the doors.  ¡°Two groups go in, one into each door, and the one who gets through the level with the highest score wins.¡±


    ¡°Who¡¯s going to run through all these little rooms if the goal is to get through quickly?¡± Lacey asked, but she liked the idea.  It would solve a few problems for them in that they wanted to put as many groups through as possible without the groups complaining about a lack of content.


    ¡°That¡¯s why it¡¯s got quests in them too,¡± Colt slid another page toward her.  ¡°Now that we found the quest options for the levels, we can make it so that they get extra points for doing stuff like finding the holy symbols of the entire monk population of the Ruined Temple.¡±


    The Temple Run started like all the new levels they made with the goblin sign-in sheet at the beginning and the menagerie overflow trap for those that didn¡¯t want to respect the rules.  A grand hallway led into a cathedral area with several off-shoots, one of which led to 13 living quarters for the priests or monks.  There was a kitchen and dining room at the end of the chapel.  Beyond the cathedral was an odd stairway that led down into catacombs, complete with a very confusing maze.


    ¡°I¡¯m loving the catacombs, but why have a kitchen and dining room?¡± Lacey asked.  ¡°And what is the stairway there?¡±


    ¡°This spiral staircase leads to a balcony with the church library,¡± Colt pointed.  ¡°I¡¯ve got this idea for a book quest that should be fun.¡±


    ¡°Libraries are great for that, but messy to clean up if someone sets it on fire or something,¡± Lacey squinted at the page.


    ¡°That¡¯s why this is a great place to do the library stuff because wrecking rooms actually costs them points in the race,¡± Colt explained.  ¡°The kitchen and dining room are a great little quest to feed the ghosts, like maybe a little like a diner mini-game thing.¡±


    ¡°How long do you expect to this race to take?¡± Lacey nodded, already imagining some ghostly figures they could use, like right out of Haunted Mansion stuff.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Colt rubbed the back of his neck.  ¡°I figured we¡¯d let Kat go through it to set a par for the level.  What do you think?¡±


    ¡°I think it¡¯s a great idea!¡± Lacey flicked the page with a grin.  ¡°We could do a few themes of this, like stuff we did for the escape rooms?¡±


    ¡°We should test it first,¡± Colt hedged.  ¡°We don¡¯t even know if the adventurers will like this sort of thing.¡±


    ¡°I think they will,¡± Lacey jumped up to race to the pedestal, only to remember that they were in the middle of a run.  ¡°More than that, this would solve a few problems.  I mean we could easily rerun the race with another 2 groups as soon as the first race ends.  As is, some of our levels are empty for half the time and we can¡¯t just tell them to send in another group just in case they don¡¯t finish in a reasonable time.¡±


    ¡°The modules should help with that too,¡± Colt used the screen on Lacey¡¯s desk to scroll through the half dozen modules he¡¯d added to their repertoire.  ¡°I¡¯m already thinking we should add a module to the arenas.  They go a lot faster than the Aztec Tomb, which is easily the longest run.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s weird because it¡¯s a smaller space and yet it takes more time because of the nature of the puzzles in it,¡± Lacey tapped her pencil on her lip and scrolled back to a picture of the Aztec Tomb.  ¡°Do you think we could make this into a race?¡±


    ¡°Why would we?¡± Colt protested.  ¡°It¡¯s the longest run and the races are more for shorter levels, don¡¯t you think?¡±


    ¡°Kat took almost the full 6 hours to complete the Aztec Tomb, but she was by herself,¡± Lacey explained her thoughts.  ¡°Full groups take a little less time, but even they take 5 hours.  If we ran it as a race, we could easily run 2 groups at a time and they¡¯d learn that those with rogues in the parties win more often, timewise, than a party without them.¡±


    ¡°How long would it be before they ran it with all rogues?¡± Colt mused, taking his drawings from Lacey.  ¡°I want to make a few notes before we drop these in.¡±


    ¡°Do you think that all rogues would really be faster?¡± Lacey went back to sit at her desk again, casting a quick glance at Spark.  Spark was fussing with a Dustapp, learning to use her sparking ability to attack it from a distance rather than her previous closeup attacks.


    ¡°Now that we have the Spunks to man the TMCs, I¡¯m not opposed to running side-by-side Aztec Tombs,¡± Colt nodded to Lacey as they turned from Spark, both assured that the kitten was acting normally. Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.


    After some thought about the glitch, Lacey and Colt had decided to watch Spark a bit more closely.  They hadn¡¯t talked about it outside, but when they¡¯d gotten back to the control room, Colt had remarked that Spark might not have been playing with a Dustapp during the previous run.  Lacey thought that Shadow was having a bit of fun with them, but Colt was more suspicious this time.  He thought it might be something like Shadow, but that Spark didn¡¯t act that way with Kat¡¯s pet.  Spark had been fluffed up and careful instead of the playful way she interacted with Shadow.


    Colt had pointed out that there had been a Dustapp under Lacey¡¯s desk when they¡¯d seen Spark playing in the corner of the room.  After glancing through the rooms where the system had shown them the location of the adventurer still in the dungeon, they could see where it could have been a person or creature making its way back out of the dungeon.  Lacey thought the system would have announced an imminent wipe, but Colt countered with the idea that it was just as likely that the glitch would have been to not announce the intruder.


    They¡¯d decided to only talk about it when the dungeon was closed, but to watch Spark closely until they figured it out.  It was incredibly disconcerting to know that Kat didn¡¯t think the system glitched.  They knew it didn¡¯t like them much, but the system had been treating them a lot better since they¡¯d burst through the tutorial.  Was there something or someone else out there that didn¡¯t like them?


    ¡°Even for players, like Kat, races may make levels more repeatable,¡± Lacey sat at her desk.  ¡°I think you¡¯re on to something here.  We can do it with The Zoo, too.¡±


    ¡°Now that our levels are ramping up, we can populate higher levels of these dungeons,¡± Colt took out his pencil and tapped it on the pages.  ¡°The Zoo is a beast, though.  I¡¯m not sure we could make it a lower level with all the different domains.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what I was thinking by making it house aquatic animals,¡± Lacey grumbled.  ¡°Are low levels even going to be able to handle burrowers, flyers, and aquatic animals?  That doesn¡¯t even mention the fire lizards and their ice, fire, acid, and poison attacks in the grand hall.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a good training ground,¡± Colt shook his head at her.  ¡°I said it¡¯s a beast, but that¡¯s good.  We can let leaders like Benny know where their people are weak.¡±


    ¡°Still, we should keep it for the highest levels,¡± Lacey frowned at her own screens.  ¡°Do you ever wonder what level Bernard is?¡±


    ¡°It seemed rude to ask,¡± Colt answered, his head down and his pencil scratching out notes.


    ¡°I wonder if he¡¯d make it through The Zoo,¡± Lacey considered the idea.  ¡°If we could get it near enough to his level, he¡¯d give it a try, right?¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t think Kat can do it?¡± Colt looked up, offended on behalf of his girlfriend.


    ¡°Sure, Kat can do it, but Kat is as much of a beast as The Zoo,¡± Lacey admitted, not daring to challenge Colt¡¯s rose-colored view of Kat.  ¡°It¡¯s just that I¡¯ve been thinking about the arenas and the fact that we keyed them for beetles, but beetles die out after 3 days.  The other mobs we¡¯ve created don¡¯t die out that quickly.  Do you think we could try to level up some Gossowaries to something high enough to challenge even Bernard?¡±


    ¡°I worry that we¡¯d be creating beasts that even we couldn¡¯t control,¡± Colt gave her a look.  ¡°I mean, wouldn¡¯t the goblins have levelled up past our dungeon level if given the chance?¡±


    ¡°Goblins not level past dungeon master,¡± Ginger asserted herself into the conversation.  Now that she had a clean spell, she had taken to trying to learn to read and write so that she could pass on her knowledge of the hedge witch spells to her minions.  She sat at her own desk in one corner of their room, her chair tipped back like Colt liked to do.  She had her little green feet propped up on the desk and a young reader book in her lap.  ¡°Rude.¡±


    ¡°Rude?¡± Colt raised an eyebrow at her.


    ¡°Adam and Eve decide early,¡± Ginger nodded with a surly frown.  ¡°Not out-level dungeon masters.¡±


    ¡°This is just a decision of leadership?¡± Lacey chuckled at Ginger¡¯s expression of distaste for her leaders.  Ginger had been levelling up a lot since getting a spell.  Casting it had given her experience in ways she¡¯d never been able to get it before.


    ¡°Ginger not agree,¡± Ginger waved her goblin hand around like a teenager told she had a curfew.  ¡°But not listen to Ginger.¡±


    ¡°If I told you that I would like you to level past the dungeon level of,¡± and Colt checked his display for their current level, ¡°31, would you do it?¡±


    ¡°Is dungeon master ordering Ginger to level past 31?¡± Ginger¡¯s eyes narrowed at Colt.


    ¡°Hypothetically,¡± he hedged, and Lacey held her breath.


    ¡°Ginger not know word,¡± Ginger wagged a finger at him.  ¡°Dungeon master need be clear.¡±


    Colt quirked a brow at Lacey, who frowned.  Did they want goblins higher than them?


    ¡°Ginger,¡± Lacey redirected the little goblin¡¯s intense gaze, ¡°Could goblins attack dungeon masters?¡±


    ¡°Hah!¡± Ginger barked out a laugh, her chair smacking forward so that all four legs were on the ground.  ¡°Goblin no attack dungeon master because then goblin no regenerate on death.¡±


    ¡°There is that,¡± Colt twisted his mouth to the side.


    ¡°But could they?¡± Lacey insisted, ignoring the logic since goblin logic didn¡¯t always parallel human logic.


    ¡°Dungeon masters worry about goblin rebellion,¡± Ginger nodded, her feet hitting the floor with a light splatting sound.  ¡°That wise.  But not need worry.  Goblins love Lacey and Colt.¡±


    ¡°Not all of them and not all the time,¡± Lacey pushed her.


    ¡°We could just look it up,¡± Colt suggested, his fingers flitting across his screen.


    ¡°Pedestal,¡± Lacey interrupted Colt¡¯s inefficient actions.  ¡°Can our minions rebel against us?¡±


    ¡°Most dungeon-created monsters cannot attack their masters,¡± the system voice echoed in the room.  ¡°The beetles and their descendants are the anomaly in that they will mindlessly attack anything lower leveled than them.¡±


    ¡°That seems a bit random,¡± Colt squinted at the pedestal.


    ¡°Beetles are mindless insectile creatures, incapable of understanding or fearing death,¡± the pedestal explained.  ¡°Thus, beetles and any creature that is incapable of understanding or fearing death will attack dungeon masters.¡±


    ¡°What about the ants in The Zoo?¡± Lacey asked.


    ¡°The Ants are hive animals and capable of fearing and therefore trying to avoid death,¡± the system replied.


    ¡°Do we have anything other than the beetles that would attack us?¡± Colt asked, before Lacey had a chance to go through a very long list.


    ¡°Yes,¡± the pedestal answered.  ¡°The Velcrabs, if summoned in a quantity of less than 40, would lack the intelligence to avoid death.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s unnerving,¡± Colt admitted, his hand running over his throat.


    ¡°Especially since we need to summon 100 of the things to complete the quest,¡± Lacey nodded.


    ¡°That should be okay,¡± Colt reasoned.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay until we kill 60 of them,¡± Lacey rolled her eyes.

 Chapter 2.17 – Zombie Apocalypse?

    They read the fine print. Their creatures wouldn¡¯t attack them because most of the creatures knew, in some instinctive way, that their existence was contingent on the dungeon masters. Even the Gossowaries, a vicious cross between a goose and cassowary, turned away from attacking Lacey and Colt. Gossowaries were even smart enough not to attack the herder goblins that fed them. Beetles and creatures with very short lifespans had no fear of the dungeon masters, or anyone else for that matter. They knew only how to fight, breed, and die. The system created these creatures with very short lifespans to compensate for their ability to run wild. What they finally figured out was that they could tell how dangerous a creature was to them as the dungeon masters by how long it tended to live.


    ¡°So, we can use the arenas to level up creatures past our level,¡± Colt finally sat back from his long-winded explanation, his chair tilted onto the back two legs. ¡°The beetles can¡¯t out-level us by much since they¡¯ll die off before they reach too high a level. The Gossowaries are safe to level up quite a bit since they tend to live around 15 years, something we learned during our sleep periods.¡±


    ¡°How far do you think we could level them?¡± Lacey wondered out loud. She knew that their arenas could level up beetles really fast.


    ¡°That¡¯s going to depend on how fast we can breed them,¡± Colt pointed out. Each of the arenas levelled beetles up by at least 5 levels, but the death rate was significant. For every hundred level 1 beetles born, only 5 survived to reach level 5. That was okay since the beetles gave birth to at least 100 babies per hour for every single breeder.


    ¡°Gossowaries breed so much slower than the beetles,¡± Lacey shook her head. ¡°The females get pregnant pretty fast in the breeding pens, but they take a week to lay maybe 3-5 eggs, and another week for those to hatch.¡±


    ¡°And another what 4-5 weeks to grow up?¡± Colt gave a sigh. ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound like a good turnaround, but it could be worse. I mean, we could get started, at least.¡±


    ¡°What breeds faster than the Gossowaries?¡± Lacey asked, scratching her head with the eraser end of her pencil.


    ¡°Zombies? Goblins?¡± Colt joked, but Lacey just glared. ¡°Fine, goblins have litters of 1-12 babies, but they aren¡¯t the best fighters. I¡¯ll make a list.¡±


    Lacey bent over her drawings of an updated Reject. She wanted to be ready for when they got the ability to upgrade existing monsters. The newer reject had only 3 goat legs, no antlers, and a lobster claw for one hand. She¡¯d toned down the colors to more natural greens and browns.


    ¡°Are you sure you want to draw that back leg that way?¡± Colt teased her. She hadn¡¯t even noticed that he¡¯d gotten up and crossed the room, so intent was she on the better version of the Rejects.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Lacey frowned at the drawing.


    ¡°I¡¯m just saying that it¡¯s kind of looking like¡­¡± Colt waved a hand and gave Lacey a pointed look.


    ¡°Ew, gross, Colt,¡± Lacey nearly crumpled up the page. ¡°Get your mind out of the gutter. That¡¯s a leg, not a¡­ ah¡­¡±


    ¡°Whatever,¡± Colt hid a chuckle behind his hand and waved at her screen. ¡°I made a spreadsheet list and dumped it into our shared file of notes.¡±


    Lacey scanned the data on birth rates and lifespans.


    ¡°Wait, is this right on how fast the Velcrabs replicate themselves?¡± Lacey flicked through the notes. ¡°Maybe we should have figured that out before we summoned a bunch?¡±


    ¡°The good news on that one is that the Velcrabs will only last as long as the cold they give us, which is 1 day,¡± Colt shrugged. ¡°And that¡¯s only if we lose control of them.¡±


    ¡°They don¡¯t even require breeders as they reproduce through fragmentation,¡± Lacey¡¯s voice rose in pitch as her mind raced to possibilities. ¡°We summoned the 100 over 4 hours ago. How many do we have now and what level are they?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a good question, I guess,¡± Colt walked back to his desk. ¡°Do you want me to go look?¡±


    ¡°No!¡± Lacey snapped.


    ¡°I can look on the monitor,¡± Colt waved at his monitor.


    ¡°Oh, well, maybe, but this is serious, Colt,¡± Lacey admonished his flippant attitude. ¡°This is viral. It could¡­ they could replicate, and level up faster than we could keep track of them.¡±


    ¡°They are in sealed boxes,¡± Colt tried to calm her, but she wasn¡¯t having it.


    ¡°This is the same justification garbage that scientists use in the zombie apocalypse,¡± Lacey shook her head. ¡°Viruses mutate, and then a cold turns into zombified dungeon masters.¡±


    Colt opened his mouth to address it and then clicked it shut. Lacey didn¡¯t like zombie movies much. Colt didn¡¯t mind them. Lacey could tell that Colt didn¡¯t have an answer to that. She was pretty sure that she wasn¡¯t being entirely reasonable, but their Velcrabs reminded her too much of the biggest baddies Stargate had ever come up with. She hadn¡¯t meant to be a mad scientist. She was just drawing up some of her own nightmares.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.


    ¡°Ginger become zombie-goblin?¡± Ginger poked herself into the conversation again, leaning her head forward on her hands, elbows on her desk.


    ¡°Zombies aren¡¯t smart like Ginger,¡± Colt raised an eyebrow at the little goblin.


    ¡°Ginger no want zombie-Ginger,¡± she said, immediately losing interest and going back to her work. They¡¯d been discussing the issue long enough that Ginger had transitioned to her writing assignment, using a pencil to dutifully draw the alphabet.


    ¡°And because they aren¡¯t smart and have no survival instinct, they couldn¡¯t live very long,¡± Colt reasoned, pointing his pencil at Lacey, who took a turn at opening and closing her mouth, as she couldn¡¯t find errors in the logic.


    ¡°Then we might not live long as zombies,¡± Lacey shot back several minutes later.


    ¡°Then we¡¯d respawn,¡± Colt didn¡¯t take the bait.


    The scratching of pencil on paper came from both Colt¡¯s desk and Ginger¡¯s, but Lacey was frowning at her page, unable to draw something in case it fell into a horrible category of something that could end up eating her for breakfast.


    ¡°Adam make good zombie-goblin,¡± Ginger muttered under her breath.


    Colt chuckled but kept his head down.


    ¡°This isn¡¯t funny,¡± Lacey whined. ¡°What if I draw something that destroys the whole world here?¡±


    ¡°Then the system will modify it so that it couldn¡¯t do that,¡± Colt answered, and Lacey was frustrated by his blind faith in some system that didn¡¯t even like them. ¡°That¡¯s probably why the most destructive mobs have the shortest lifespan. I mean, think about it. If we summoned a million beetles and set them loose on the world, they could still only get 3 days down the road before they all fell over dead.¡±


    ¡°But the breeders would make more,¡± Lacey countered, insisting on her creation of the impending apocalypse of their world.


    ¡°If we didn¡¯t sequester our rare breeders, the beetles would kill them all,¡± Colt shook his head at her. ¡°They did that in the beginning before we made the arenas. That¡¯s why the whole first generation of beetles died out during our first long sleep.¡±


    ¡°True,¡± Lacey sulked.


    ¡°Even now, if the goblin herders didn¡¯t carefully monitor the arenas, one super-beetle could and has wiped out a whole level on its own,¡± Colt pointed out, and then cut her off as she took a breath to argue. ¡°And then he would die in a few days all on his own.¡±


    ¡°But,¡± Lacey held up a finger to object, but her mind blanked on further arguments.


    Colt, knowing Lacey well, just waited out the silence.


    ¡°Okay,¡± Lacey slumped over her desk a few minutes later.


    ¡°You sound disappointed that you don¡¯t have the power to destroy the world,¡± Colt joked.


    ¡°Not disappointed,¡± Lacey scowled at him.


    ¡°Ginger disappointed,¡± Ginger put in, and Lacey had to press her lips together not to laugh. Colt didn¡¯t bother and just laughed out loud.


    A hiss from Spark had Colt sobering, but a second later, he laughed again. ¡°Looks like Spark needs another Dustapp,¡± he smiled and nodded at where Spark had begun to oddly bat at something that wasn¡¯t there.


    ¡°Ginger,¡± Lacey called to the goblin with a slightly forced smile, ¡°would you get a Dustapp for Spark? We boxed up a few to keep her occupied and out from under your feet.¡±


    Ginger wasn¡¯t as subtle as Lacey and Colt. She immediately glared at the kitten and then gasped. With a scrabble of chair legs and nervous limbs, Ginger headed to the suite of rooms that Lacey and Colt shared. It was the only place any of them could go, since the dungeon was still red. Lacey narrowed her eyes as she tried very hard not to stare at the place where Spark was spitting tiny sparks.


    It couldn¡¯t be one of their own monsters since they couldn¡¯t just come and go any more than Lacey and Colt could. When the dungeon was red, the only entity that could go in and out of the dungeon control room was something or someone from the outside. They¡¯d read the fine print on that too, not that Lacey had thought it was necessary then. She did now.


    There was something or someone standing against the wall. If she squinted just right, she could almost see them, but only out of the corner of her eye and she couldn¡¯t make out a shape. They couldn¡¯t be in danger, or the system would have warned them. Whatever it was could hide from them, but it couldn¡¯t hide from the system. The system had chased whatever it was all the way out of the dungeon last time. The system knew it was there.


    Lacey quickly scrolled to the help pages on imminent wipe warnings. Wipes only happened when all other dungeon creatures had been destroyed. Hughe had whittled down their dungeon to an imminent wipe soon after they¡¯d arrived. When he¡¯d entered their control room, he¡¯d done it as a combatant who had already destroyed everything else in the dungeon, so if Hughe had then killed both Lacey and Colt, he would have taken their place as dungeon masters.


    Colt had tried to warn her. This time, she¡¯d been the one to be too lackadaisical about their danger. Colt had been the one to worry. She should have listened. All those thoughts crashed into Lacey¡¯s mind as she watched Spark chase the ghost into the bedrooms.


    ¡°What¡¯s it doing?¡± Lacey whispered to Colt.


    ¡°It left last time,¡± Colt hissed back to her.


    Spark came sprinting back out of Colt¡¯s bedroom and under Lacey¡¯s feet. Ginger walked out of the bedroom with a little box, but she didn¡¯t get a chance to open it. The box went flying out of Ginger¡¯s hands and tumbling to the floor. It was like Ginger had tripped, but there wasn¡¯t anything to trip on.


    Lacey reached out and then flinched back as the box broke open and spilled out a mass of Velcrabs, which consisted of whatever had replicated or leveled in the last 4 hours from 100 level 1 Velcrabs. The Velcrabs couldn¡¯t be too high a level, but there were enough of them that they formed together into an odd orange monotone version of Spark. Had they reproduced? Had they levelled? Should she be more worried about the invisible thing in the room or the Velcrabs. The orange version of Spark hissed and charged at the closest thing to it, which just happened to be invisible. Ginger ducked back into the bedroom, probably running to hide under Colt¡¯s bed, which was what Ginger was trained to do in case of an incursion breaking into the control room. They hadn¡¯t practiced it since they¡¯d gotten the suites, but Lacey was sure that Ginger would remember.


    Lacey picked up her version of Spark and backed toward the wall of the room as far as she could get from the invisible person in the room. Now that the Velcrabs were attacking it, it was clear that it was in the shape of a human, or at least a humanoid. Colt, his desk further away from the scuffle, took the time to tap quickly on his screens.


    ¡°Level 77 Assassin,¡± the system announced.

 Chapter 2.18 – Chasing Ghosts

    Lacey felt the blood drain from her face.  That was a person who could take out both her and Colt and then go out there into the dungeon and completely take over.  How long had they been in the dungeon scoping them out?  How long had they been planning?  How long did she and Colt have before it killed them?  Why hadn¡¯t it killed them before now?


    It was suddenly so much more important to level their creatures far past their own level.  Level 77?  Had Bernard sent one of his men into the dungeon to spy on them?  Why an assassin?  Was this another ploy to take over their dungeon.


    Once again, Lacey was struck with how attached she was to being a dungeon master.  No matter how much she wanted to explore what else was out there or how jealous she was of their adventures, Lacey didn¡¯t want to lose her dungeon.  If she got to keep it this time, she promised herself that she wasn¡¯t going to lose sight of that again.


    Now that she knew what they were up against, Lacey was more afraid of the assassin than she was of the Velcrabs.  The Velcrabs scattered as if a boot stomped down on top of them and for a brief moment, Lacey got the impression that the assassin was a tall man in dark clothing, lithe of form, and moving like live silk.  What chance did they have against that?


    The Velcrabs formed back up into a shape, mistakenly thinking that they were stronger together than apart.  The boot came down again, not that it made any noise at all.  The Velcrabs splashed apart this time, but instead of forming back up together, they melted around the man¡¯s boot.  Tiny, almost microscopic beings crawled up the man¡¯s leg as he jumped around in an attempt to shake them off.


    Colt backed up and in front of Lacey in a show of valor that she didn¡¯t think would help at all.  If Lacey was right, some of those stupid little viral things had grown wings.  Lacey was back to being afraid of the Velcrabs.  That was only because the man was hopping his way out of their control room, leaving a trail of little Velcrabs dribbling behind him in a cloud of contagion.


    Lacey and Colt backed into Colt¡¯s bedroom.


    ¡°Zombie-Ginger?¡± Ginger asked from her spot under the bed.


    ¡°Maybe,¡± Lacey grabbed a few t-shirts out of Colt¡¯s closet and tossed a few to Ginger.  Colt was already getting his own.  They hadn¡¯t lived through COVID and not learned a thing or two.


    ¡°No, we¡¯re not becoming zombies,¡± Colt grit out from behind several layers of t-shirts clamped over his mouth.  ¡°Don¡¯t scare her, Lace.  Just put the cloth over your mouth, Ginger.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t scare her?¡± Lacey goggled at him, juggling a mewling Spark with a bunch of t-shirts and stressing about how to keep Spark from getting infected without smothering the small black ball of fur.  ¡°Did you not see the flying ones?¡±


    ¡°I saw them,¡± Colt scowled at her over the makeshift face mask.  ¡°You said they¡¯d only give us a cold or something, right?¡±


    ¡°At level 1, sure!¡± Lacey shrugged, not knowing what the things would do at higher levels.  ¡°Did those things still look like microscopic level 1 shit?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± he admitted, and his gaze scanned the room.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t think to draw a can of Lysol!¡± Lacey backed into the bed and ended up plopping butt-first onto it, Spark wriggling out of her arms.  ¡°Spark, come back!¡±


    Lacey¡¯s heart broke at the thought of losing Spark.  What had she done?  Lacey tried to jerk to her feet.


    ¡°Let her go, Lace,¡± Colt locked his arm in front of her, causing Lacey to fall back to the bed with a grunt.


    ¡°Not Spark,¡± Lacey whined, sitting back up to push against him.


    ¡°Look,¡± Colt nudged his hip sideways to keep Lacey behind him.


    Lacey didn¡¯t want to look, so she closed her eyes, telling herself she could respawn her little pet.  There were spurts of electricity that almost physically hurt Lacey¡¯s heart to hear as she imagined Spark fighting for her life while Colt held Lacey back.


    ¡°Look, Lace,¡± Colt hissed over the sizzling sounds and muffling t-shirts.


    Lacey, against her better judgement, pried her eyes open to look.  Lacey¡¯s heart leapt into her throat as she realized that Spark was holding her own.  Spark¡¯s little zaps were killing bug after bug.  The bugs, not all that bright on their own, kept going after the nearest thing alive, which just happened to be Spark.  The irony was that Spark, with her little zaps of electricity, was the only thing in the room that could kill them.Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    Spark levelled before their eyes, growing an inch all around in an instant.  Her zaps also got stronger, taking out 2-3 of the bugs at a time.  Spark would hiss and a bug would fall out of the air.  They had to scoot back around the bed to give Spark more room, but that gave Spark room to hop up on the bed and take out even the flying ones.


    The air became sharp with the smell of ozone, not that the fight took very long.  Very few of the bugs had come their way.  Most had followed the stranger.  It was enough to level little Spark twice, but that wasn¡¯t hard considering that she¡¯d only gotten to level 3 chasing the Dustapps.


    ¡°Good job, Spark,¡± Colt was saying as the last of the bugs fell.


    ¡°Great job!¡± Lacey enthused, hoping there weren¡¯t any lingering microscopic versions of the Velcrabs left.  ¡°You are such a good kitty, and you are going to get a whole bucket of treats!¡±


    ¡°Spark not useless,¡± Ginger crawled out from under the bed and gave the kitten a suspicious look.


    Spark gave an adorable meow as Lacey scooped her up in her arms and showered her with semi-welcome affection.  Spark¡¯s purr gave lie to the struggling as Lacey scratched all the best places.  They made their way back into the control room, Lacey letting Spark down to sniff out any rogue bugs in the room.


    ¡°Aw, she grew up,¡± Lacey watched Spark stalk and zap another couple of stray Velcrabs.


    ¡°She¡¯s still plenty cute,¡± Colt sat at his desk and tapped the screens.  ¡°Pedestal, show level 77 assassin on my screen.¡±


    ¡°It said he was an assassin and yet he¡¯s casting spells?¡± Lacey walked up behind Colt to see the screen flash to a room several levels up from the control room, where a shadow of a man was casting flashes of fire at the air all around him.


    ¡°Looks like it,¡± Colt agreed.


    The battle on the screen was coming to a close, the flames making short work of the Velcrabs.  Would they even have a chance of infecting someone at such a high level?  Once the Velcrabs were all inert, the man again blended in so well as to become invisible.  They asked for updates from the pedestal, and it showed the path he took all the way out of the dungeon.


    ¡°Who was he?¡± Lacey asked the air, like it had the answer.


    ¡°It wasn¡¯t Kat or Shadow as they are both elsewhere,¡± Colt switched screens and followed images carefully.


    ¡°How could it have been Shadow?¡± Lacey protested.  ¡°Shadow is a cat.  A big cat, but still a cat.¡±


    ¡°We don¡¯t know that Shadow couldn¡¯t take the form of a man,¡± Colt reasoned, his frown and sigh evidence that he was vexed by the whole thing.  ¡°Whoever it was, they didn¡¯t kill us, and they had the chance to do it.¡±


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean they are friends,¡± Lacey scanned the room for more of the bugs, her skin still crawling at the thought that they could still be around.  ¡°You think maybe Bernard sent someone in to check us out?¡±


    ¡°And risk the cushy deal he has?¡± Colt shook his head.  ¡°I doubt it.  He¡¯s raking in the dough on this.  He and his guild make a percentage of everything pulled out of the dungeon and all he¡¯s got to do is sit out there and twiddle his thumbs.¡±


    ¡°Even I don¡¯t think Kat had anything to do with it,¡± Lacey admitted, running her nails up and down her arms to fight the heebie-geebies she had.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to, but how else did someone get in here?¡± Colt lowered his head like he was ashamed of his own thoughts.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    ¡°Exactly 10 groups came into the dungeon and 9 of those groups were full,¡± Colt blew out a harassed breath.  ¡°Only Kat¡¯s group had room for anyone.  How could someone be in her group without her knowing about it?¡±


    ¡°Oh,¡± Lacey woofed out her own breath, stretching her mind to think about it.  It took her a minute.  ¡°But are there still 10 groups in the dungeon?¡±


    This time, Colt asked Lacey, ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    ¡°If another group finished, then a person could come in that entrance,¡± Lacey was glad that there was another explanation.  She really didn¡¯t want to suspect Kat to be any part of this.  ¡°I¡¯m showing that one of the arenas finished half an hour ago.  That¡¯s plenty of time for someone, who already knows their way down here, to get down here and start poking around.¡±


    ¡°You think so?¡± Colt looked up hopefully.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t make sense to think otherwise,¡± Lacey hoped she wasn¡¯t shining him on.  ¡°Kat¡¯s been on the level about everything so far.  What good would it do her?  We¡¯d invite her down here at this point.¡±


    ¡°She doesn¡¯t know that,¡± Colt didn¡¯t want to believe the worst of Kat, but he would to protect Lacey.  It wasn¡¯t like they¡¯d known her all that long.


    ¡°Sure, she does,¡± Lacey got up to walk back to Colt¡¯s desk and put an arm over his shoulder.  ¡°It¡¯s not her doing.  I¡¯m the pessimist and even I don¡¯t think it¡¯s her.¡±


    They stood there together and watched Kat leap a trap and almost immediately pivot so that if there was another trap beyond the first, she¡¯d have a chance to double-hop past it.  When the log swung down from the ceiling instead of the floor dropping out, Kat rolled and almost fell into the third part of that trap.  The whole time that the Spunk was trying its darnedest to kill her, Kat was grinning.  Hanging by her fingertips on the edge of the last pit, Kat was happy.  She wouldn¡¯t risk that for some stunt, would she?


    It just didn¡¯t feel right.  Lacey was slow to trust, but once she did, she was hard to shake.  Lacey trusted Colt and his family.  It had taken her a while to get to know that they weren¡¯t like the rest of the people in her life, including a father that had kept her to punish her mother for leaving him, not that her mother had fought that hard for her.  It was hard to trust when the people hard-wired to love you turned on you, but Lacey had done it with Colt.


    They had only known Kat for a few days, but the girl felt so much more like Colt¡¯s kind of people than Lacey¡¯s family.  Was it suspicious that they trusted her so quickly?  Maybe.  It was a world of magic, and that girl had mad skills that far outmatched her level.


    ¡°If you can¡¯t trust your gut, you can¡¯t trust anything,¡± Lacey answered Colt¡¯s unspoken question.  Even in a world full of magic, instinct had to count for something.

 Chapter 2.19 – If You Give a Goblin Permission to Excel

    Lacey rubbed sleep out of her eyes, a soft purr lulling her back into the twilight of half sleep. Her dreams were lightly scattered, and she winced at the memory of them that she didn¡¯t want to keep. They¡¯d been nightmares, even with the kitten-therapy of sleeping next to the cutest ball of fluff to ever exist in the world. Flashes haunted her. Flashes of watching the assassin slit Colt¡¯s throat as she sat helplessly at her desk.


    Lacey blinked her eyes open and tried to forget. It hadn¡¯t happened that way. They¡¯d repelled the assassin and finished out their shift together. Knowing that they¡¯d see Kat again at lunchtime the next day, they¡¯d made an early night of it and gone to bed shortly after the last adventurers left. The dungeon was set to light up and blow up all the alarms if anyone came in uninvited. They even had a few goblins at the entrances with their hands on the menagerie trap all night, not that they were as reliable as the system.


    The flush of the toilet reassured her that the dreams weren¡¯t real. No one used their private bathroom but them. Colt was awake and making a mess in the bathroom, just like he always did. She had a perfect little pet kitty cat cuddled up and purring in her ear and hundreds of layers of protection. She told herself she was safe, and her mind laughed back at her attempt to snuggle back down under the covers. After all, her mind asserted, the assassin had gotten through all that twice already, and that was only the times they knew about for sure.


    Lacey gave up trying to sleep, contorting herself to pet Spark, only to be rewarded with claws. ¡°Ouch! You little beast,¡± Lacey belied her words with a slow smile. Little paws clutched around Lacey¡¯s wrist as Spark sank her little teeth lightly into the pad of Lacey¡¯s thumb.


    ¡°You okay?¡± came Colt¡¯s voice from the bathroom and the last of Lacey¡¯s nightmares faded away.


    ¡°Our hero is being prickly this morning,¡± Lacey mumbled out, her eyes seeking out her best friend in the world, for just that last reassurance that he was okay.


    ¡°Ah,¡± he smiled at her, his hair still sticking up all over his head. ¡°Spark, be nice. She¡¯s the one with the treats.¡±


    Spark let up on her grip of Lacey¡¯s wrist, but as Lacey started to pull away, two little back paws raked along the length of her arm, barely breaking skin.


    ¡°No treats for you,¡± Lacey jerked her hand away, making it worse.


    ¡°I warned you,¡± Colt poked his head around the doorway again to say, a toothbrush stuck out of one side of his mouth.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to need Eve to give me a heal,¡± Lacey hissed, holding her hurt wrist in the palm of her other hand.


    ¡°Baby,¡± Colt teased, his head disappearing back into the bathroom, where he spat into the sink.


    So much for a lazy morning of sweet thoughts, Lacey thought, rolling up and headed for her closet rather than fight Colt over the sink. He ran the water to rinse out his mouth and she clenched against the need to pee. Lacey threw on some jeans and a snarky t-shirt proclaiming that she wasn¡¯t distracted, she was doing side-quests. She fished some thick socks out of the dresser and plopped back on the bed, her back to the kitten that eyed Lacey like she expected retaliation, even though Lacey never had.


    ¡°I¡¯m out,¡± Colt called out to her as his voice faded.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± Lacey called back, their routine settling something in her. She took her turn at the bathroom, cleaning up his mess as well as the one she made after him. The evidence of his shower was a lump of soggy towel on the floor. Lacey could have left it to Ginger, but she folded the towel in threes and hung it on the rod next to hers.


    ¡°I¡¯ve half a mind to go to Mom¡¯s for the day,¡± Colt told her as she walked into the control room.


    ¡°You don¡¯t mean that,¡± Lacey chided him gently.


    ¡°I don¡¯t, but it¡¯d be easier,¡± Colt leaned back in his chair, tossing Lacey a warm biscuit sandwich wrapped in paper.


    ¡°Thanks, and no it wouldn¡¯t,¡± Lacey unwrapped her breakfast and took a bite.


    ¡°It wouldn¡¯t,¡± he admitted with a charming smile. ¡°You¡¯re in a good mood this morning for being a pin cushion again.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing,¡± Lacey looked down at the mild welts on her arm and shook her head. ¡°I¡¯ll head down to Eve to get a heal and be good as new.¡±


    ¡°No need,¡± Ginger strode into the control room like she owned the place, her grin huge. ¡°Ginger fix.¡±


    ¡°You learned the heal spell?¡± Lacey tilted her head at Ginger but held out her arm.


    ¡°Probably,¡± Ginger jerked her head in an empathic nod and grabbed Lacey¡¯s arm even as Lacey started to pull it back.


    ¡°Probably?¡± Colt stood to interfere, but it was too late as Ginger was casting a spell.


    ¡°See?¡± Ginger glowed with pride as the welts disappeared. ¡°New spell.¡±


    ¡°Who taught you to heal?¡± Colt asked, knowing that Eve had been denying Ginger for weeks because Ginger had refused to become a shaman.The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    ¡°Eve,¡± Ginger answered.


    ¡°Did you decide to become a shaman after all?¡± Lacey asked, running fingers over newly healed skin.


    ¡°Nope,¡± Ginger shook her finger and then pointed it at Colt¡¯s breakfast wrapper.


    ¡°Spit it out, Ginger!¡± Colt admonished the goblin, snatching back his hand that had still been holding said wrapper when the clean spell snapped the wrapper away. ¡°How did you learn the heal spell without becoming one of Eve¡¯s shamans?¡±


    ¡°Ginger no spit,¡± Ginger professed, and Lacey got the idea that she was avoiding the answer.


    ¡°Ginger!¡± Colt and Lacey said together, probably just a little louder than necessary.


    Ginger pursed her thin lips and placed a hand on her hip. ¡°Ginger higher level than Eve now. Eve not deny Ginger anymore.¡±


    ¡°Woah,¡± Colt laughed, tilted back on his chair again. ¡°Eve finally got sloppy?¡±


    ¡°Ginger,¡± Lacey was more in tune than that. Eve was always the same level as the dungeon. She kept on it diligently so she wouldn¡¯t lose her position as Head Shaman. ¡°What level are you?¡±


    ¡°Ginger level 32,¡± the goblin replied, her nose lifting slightly in a mannerism more like Eve than Ginger.


    The dungeon was only level 31, so Ginger had taken their semi-permission of the day before as a reason to defy goblin tradition and become a higher level than their makers. Lacey studied the goblin for signs of aggression, but there was only a new pride. Ginger headed for the bedroom, where she always went to clean up after Colt first thing in the morning.


    ¡°Should we be worried?¡± Colt asked, smacking down to four legs of his chair. They would need to order a new chair if he kept doing that.


    ¡°Damned if I know,¡± Lacey shrugged and sat in her own chair, taking another large bite of her breakfast sandwich. ¡°Yesterday, I thought I knew the world and how it worked. Today, I¡¯m thinking I don¡¯t know enough to even guess.¡±


    Colt gave her a quizzical look, like he was wondering if he should try to talk her out of that kind of mood. His look made her chuckle around her sandwich. She didn¡¯t blame him. She¡¯d gone from pessimist to defeatist. Was that a big leap? Maybe it was, for her.


    ¡°What?¡± Lacey said around her sandwich, her other hand already flipping through screens.


    ¡°You feeling okay this morning?¡± Colt¡¯s raised eyebrows weren¡¯t even enough to get a rise out of her.


    ¡°The morning is full of all sorts of possibilities, none of which I can rule out since nothing works the way I think it does,¡± Lacey rolled her eyes at her own drama. ¡°I don¡¯t mean that in a bad way or even a good way. I just don¡¯t know.¡±


    ¡°Now you¡¯re scaring me,¡± Colt said, but he was smiling.


    ¡°Shut up and let me eat breakfast before you grill me about my changing world philosophy, would you?¡± she snarked back.


    ¡°Okay,¡± he raised both hands up in surrender.


    Lacey liked that about Colt, normally. There were days sometimes when shit was just shit and she didn¡¯t want to talk about it. Her dad had always been poking at her first thing in the morning with questions like he cared about anything she said. Colt didn¡¯t push her. Lacey finished her sandwich and got up to grab a soda and a water. She sat and took long pulls on her soda, pretending to get into work mode.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what¡¯s wrong with me,¡± she answered, when she found herself rereading a paragraph for the fourth time.


    ¡°Want to talk about it?¡± Colt asked, pretending to be more interested in what he was drawing than what she was ready to say.


    ¡°I had some bad dreams, but that¡¯s only because I feel so out of control of everything,¡± Lacey tried to explain. ¡°Every time we think we understand something, there¡¯s more to learn and more I feel like we¡¯re screwing up because we don¡¯t know enough.¡±


    ¡°That it?¡± his head was still bent over his drawings.


    ¡°Maybe,¡± she told the top of his head. She was pretty sure that he was working on yet another module. It would be his seventh one. If every module took about half an hour for adventurers to clear, then they¡¯d only need five or six for a satisfying level. ¡°I mean, I can¡¯t stop some super-powered assassin from sneaking into our dungeon and killing us any time they want. I can¡¯t draw any faster or make dungeons any faster. I can¡¯t level any faster. I can¡¯t spend millions of credits on new monsters until we run another week of dungeons. I can¡¯t possibly speed up the levelling of every creature in the dungeon. I can¡¯t stop our minions from taking over if they break through their polite limits. And I certainly can¡¯t get the stupid cat to stop clawing me up every morning when I ask for affection.¡±


    Somewhere during the rant, Colt had looked up and propped his chin in one hand, elbow on his desk. ¡°And we can¡¯t learn any faster.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± she frowned at him.


    ¡°That¡¯s the big one for me,¡± Colt admitted, shoving back from his desk. ¡°It keeps coming back to that one. There¡¯s just no way anyone could learn all these rules and how things work any faster than what we¡¯re doing.¡±


    ¡°And yet, no matter how fast we speed toward getting up to speed, I feel like we¡¯re still behind!¡± Lacey smacked a palm on her desk.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he smacked his desk too, a small smirk at the edge of his lips.


    ¡°You suck,¡± she tried to resist the smile.


    ¡°Because I agreed with you?¡± he gave her an innocent look.


    ¡°Because,¡± she started and stopped, throwing her crumpled up breakfast wrapper at him. ¡°Just because you are an infuriating man, and this was my rant and you hijacked it!¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but I¡¯m cute, so you put up with me,¡± he grinned at her, catching the paper out of the air.


    ¡°You¡¯re not that cute,¡± she narrowed her eyes at him, but her mouth was twitching.


    ¡°Yeah, I am,¡± he assured her with a jut of his chin.


    ¡°You think you¡¯re so charming,¡± she plucked a drawing pencil out of the can and then put it right back in. There was plenty of time for drawing later. For now, she needed to get things summoned and set for the day¡¯s dungeon crawls.


    ¡°Because I am,¡± he winked at her and went back to drawing.


    Lacey checked the clock. She had 2 hours to get the new dungeon levels situated and levelled appropriately. Kat was likely going into the level 15-20 dungeon again, so she arranged the race for it. Did it matter what par was? The first one might be totally fubar, but what the hell. They weren¡¯t going to learn if it would work out well by sitting on it forever and a day.


    ¡°You¡¯re running Kat through the race?¡± Colt looked up to watch her pin it in place on their wall of dungeon maps.


    ¡°Yep,¡± she answered.


    ¡°Are you going to run anyone against her?¡±


    ¡°Yep,¡± her chin tilted at a stubborn angle.


    ¡°Hey,¡± Colt called out as Lacey stuffed her sketchbook and pencils into the backpack she hadn¡¯t used since Monty had invaded. ¡°Where are you going?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m going out there to explain all this to the groups coming into the race,¡± Lacey answered with a shrug.


    ¡°Alone?¡± Colt finally got the first hint of a frown on his pretty face.


    ¡°Yep,¡± she picked up her backpack, and checked her pockets for ample pencils.


    ¡°Who are you and what have you done with my neurotic best friend?¡± Colt placed a hand on his chest in mock dismay.


    ¡°You want her back?¡± Lacey teased him, tapping an extra pencil on her chin.


    ¡°Can I get back to you on that one?¡± he hedged, and she lobbed her pencil at him.

 Chapter 2.20 – Another Day in the Neighborhood

    They had to make another entrance that fed into the race, so that 2 groups could come into it at once. There were upgrades that would make that easier in the future, but for now, they had to do the workaround. Lacey realized that right before they opened the dungeon, but Colt managed it from the control room while she directed a few elite goblins to help the process cost them less in credits.


    ¡°Are we ready?¡± Colt asked Lacey over chat.


    ¡°As ready as we can be,¡± Lacey replied, sending an elite goblin outside to let the adventurers know that they were open.


    Adam sent up a signal and 9 runner goblins dashed out to the other entrances where 9 other elites waited. From there, each of the elites exited the dungeon with a show that Adam had organized. Lacey watched the elite bare its teeth at the throng that had gathered just outside the entrance. He flexed muscles and shook his spear over his head, and Lacey nearly laughed at the theater of it all. She¡¯d had no idea they went to such lengths.


    ¡°Adam hear Ginger level up,¡± Adam jostled Lacey¡¯s shoulder with his own.


    ¡°Yep,¡± Lacey took a deep breath, trying to stick with her new resolve to own her life.


    ¡°Adam level up too?¡± he said, more as a demand than a question.


    ¡°You need to stay the same level as Eve and if you dare to challenge me or Colt, I¡¯ll end you and respawn you into a grave you can starve in forever,¡± Lacey stared at Adam with eyes so serious and intense that he gulped and nodded almost pitifully in response. Adam obviously remembered Lacey¡¯s last temper after they¡¯d ruined her moonshine supply. ¡°Then, yep, Adam can level up.¡±


    Lacey turned a grin toward the entrance to the race like she hadn¡¯t just loosened the bowels of a goblin that was probably already physically strong enough to break Lacey in half. The elite that had gone outside reentered the cave, causing Adam to bluster up enough courage to pretend that Lacey didn¡¯t scare the shit out of him.


    ¡°What did you say to Adam to make him look like that?¡± Colt asked her. Some of the menagerie had come into the visible portion of overflow, probably curious to hear the voice of their dungeon master.


    ¡°I told him he could level up as long as he stayed the same level as Eve,¡± she told Colt, watching the nearest Gossowary stick its head through the portcullis that held all the animals back.


    ¡°That all?¡± Colt pressed. Lacey reached out to pet the Gossowary.


    ¡°And that if he challenged you or me, I¡¯d bury him,¡± Lacey answered, the grin still on her face.


    ¡°Good to know scary Lacey is still in there,¡± Colt quipped.


    ¡°Still want your old best friend back?¡± Lacey looked up at the ceiling, her eyes narrowed.


    ¡°Never lost her,¡± Colt¡¯s reply came back to her with a winky face, and she could only shake her head. Lacey moved to stand between the two huge doors into the dungeon challenge.


    ¡°You told Kat to come into this one, right?¡± Lacey asked the elite that was taking his spot behind the sign-up table.


    ¡°Point at crazy woman in black,¡± elite nodded his head.


    Lacey wondered if there were more than a few crazy women in black out there. If she had Kat¡¯s armor, maybe she¡¯d be considered a crazy woman in black too. The very thought had Lacey chuckling to herself and that was the scary picture that greeted Kat.


    ¡°This is new,¡± Kat smiled a careful smile at Lacey.


    ¡°Yep,¡± Lacey held her new flippant self in front of her like a shield against the insecurity that reminded her that this new her was only skin deep.


    Another group of 5 worked their way up from a lower chamber. They paused at the sight of Kat in the room, but Lacey waved them into the 50¡¯ by 100¡¯ room so that Kat and the group stood next to each other. Leather creaked, metal scraped, and brows creased in confusion.


    ¡°See these two doors?¡± Lacey asked them, pointing behind on either side of herself. She stood between the doors, which each stood 10¡¯ high and 20¡¯ wide. The doors were thick wood banded with glistening iron, each with a huge doorknocker in the shape of a sun. The doorknockers were decorative, as was the 15¡¯ tall statue that stood between the doors at Lacey¡¯s back. Only the goblins at the table knew where to touch the statue to either open the door to the dungeon, or the portcullis to release the menagerie.


    Lacey waited for the nods and then continued, ¡°Group 1 will go through the left doorway, and Kat will go through the right one. This dungeon isn¡¯t like other ones though. This one is a competition and only one group can win the grand prize of 100 gold.¡±


    ¡°What does the other group win?¡± the guy in red chainmail asked Lacey.


    ¡°Half that,¡± Lacey answered them. ¡°If you aren¡¯t interested, exit now and let another group take a turn instead.¡±


    ¡°But what¡¯s the challenge?¡± Kat asked, edging away from the portcullis, where a Gossowary had sneaked close enough to pluck at the sleeve of the careless. Kat was not careless.Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    ¡°Hey!¡± The rogue of the other group wasn¡¯t so careful and lost a patch of cloth from his sleeve. ¡°Is that thing level 30?¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s going on? I thought this entrance was for 15-20,¡± the guy in the robe, obviously a magic-user, demanded.


    ¡°The menagerie overflow area is full of higher levelled mobs,¡± Lacey admitted. ¡°They won¡¯t be released unless you provoke me or the goblins at the table. The level doesn¡¯t even really begin until you walk through the doors and the mobs inside there are what you¡¯d expect for the level.¡±


    ¡°I warned you guys that there was a failsafe,¡± Kat smirked at the rogue that had gotten too close to the bars. ¡°I¡¯m good with the challenge of a race, but I do want to know more of the rules before we go diving in there.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because you are smart!¡± Lacey gave Kat a relieved look. ¡°We¡¯re trying out something new with the Temple Run. Each group will be given a list of quests the moment you walk through the doors. Each quest will earn points and experience. The group with the most points at the end of the run, wins.¡±


    ¡°That sounds easy enough to understand,¡± the magic-user nodded his agreement.


    ¡°One of the quests is time sensitive, and you will lose points for every minute you spend in the Temple,¡± Lacey explained, walking over to the Gossowary to distract it from scaring the adventurers. ¡°Another quest will dock you points if you senselessly destroy the rooms. There will be no need to break rooms to complete this dungeon. You¡¯ll only need to get to the end to complete it. The other quests will earn more points for completion but will take time. You¡¯ll have to balance your time to make the most efficient run.¡±


    ¡°This sounds fun,¡± Kat grinned at the other group, who were sizing Kat up even as Lacey was petting the vicious Gossowary.


    ¡°Agreed,¡± the magic-user smiled back at Kat.


    ¡°Awesome,¡± Lacey clapped her hands together and motioned to the table. ¡°Then ante up and sign in.¡±


    This part was expected, so the group quickly lined up at the table and deposited their tribute. Lacey hadn¡¯t paid much attention to the offerings so far, since the treasures that the system provided were more precious to Lacey and Colt. The seeds and donations were mainly for when the back yard opened up and they could start farming.


    ¡°Benny wanted me to deliver the spells to you, so I¡¯ll just leave these here if you want,¡± Kat dumped a dozen spell scrolls on the table.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± Lacey moved to take the scrolls, but Kat gave a minute shake of her head.


    Lacey was pleasantly surprised that no one had made a move against her. Maybe it was the two level 30 goblins who sat at the table or maybe it was the Gossowary staring at them over her shoulder. She¡¯d started to feel a bit safe until Kat did that. Lacey leaned back against the bars and felt one of the biggest cats they had rub against the back of her. The animals felt the danger too. What were they all seeing that Lacey hadn¡¯t seen?


    ¡°Your time starts when you cross the threshold so there¡¯s no need to hurry to the door,¡± Lacey studied the group as she talked, her hands petting the animals behind her. ¡°Even if the first group passes over the threshold first, the second group¡¯s timer only starts when they cross over. Each side is a duplicate of the other, so neither party has an advantage that way either.¡±


    The fighter was over 6¡¯ tall and wore full plate. Lacey couldn¡¯t even see the guy¡¯s face through the shiny helmet. He stood with one hand on the hilt of his sword, eyeing the surroundings like he was some secret service agent guarding the president. The magic-user was the obvious leader because of how the fighter stood between the magic-user and danger. The magic-user wore a deep red robe, but he was more focused on the offerings being dumped onto the scale in front of Adam.


    The scales were a new invention of Colt¡¯s. They appeared to be weighted entirely to the left until enough offering was placed in the right side of the balance as decided by the deal they¡¯d made with their guild. The scales automatically determined the value of every item placed on it and it was always right. The magic-user eyed it like it was suspect, but he nodded when it balanced, and they all relaxed a little.


    The third party member was the rogue, still rubbing at his arm where the Gossowary had probably left a little hickey. The rogue seemed a bit innocent for his occupation, his gaze glued to the animals behind the bars. There was a lot to look at there. While the rogue was staring at the animals behind the bars, he completely missed the fact that a Chrew was plucking at the buckle of an ankle sheath the thief used to hold a pretty little dagger. It was the nature of Chrews to go through and steal from the unwary, so Lacey didn¡¯t try to stop it.


    The fourth party member was a healer, but that was all Lacey could tell. It might have been a woman under that midnight-blue cloak, but that was only because the healer moved so gracefully. The cloak was edged with a ribbon of runes stitched in silver on black lace. If Lacey was left to guess, the healer would have been the one she distrusted, but she couldn¡¯t say why.


    The final member was Bernard¡¯s son in the red chainmail, and that recognition is what led Lacey to figure out that the fighter and healer were the friends he¡¯d been joking around with outside the dungeon the day before. Now that she¡¯d made that connection, she recognized the rogue too as one of the boys messing around.


    Lacey watched the group pass through the doors as soon as the goblins opened it up, even though she¡¯d told them that it wouldn¡¯t net them any more time than Kat. Kat hung back, so Lacey waited for the double doors to close behind the first group.


    ¡°What¡¯s up?¡± Lacey asked Kat, who eyed the door as it closed.


    ¡°It¡¯s not that I expected trouble from them, but better safe than sorry,¡± Kat nodded toward the closed door. Adam had already moved to open Kat¡¯s door.


    ¡°Bernard¡¯s kid,¡± Lacey noted, finally moving away from the portcullis.


    ¡°What are you doing out here in the open?¡± Kat frowned. ¡°I thought you two were playing it safe.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s safe in this place anyway?¡± Lacey shrugged, not sure where her new disdain for safety was coming from.


    ¡°True,¡± Kat looked worried. Lacey had gotten so used to watching the girl grinning her way through the dungeon that this look was unnerving. ¡°You okay?¡±


    ¡°We had a visitor yesterday during the second run,¡± Lacey nudged the scrolls, noting that they were more of the useful ones. The Mend one was the next one they¡¯d planned to give to Ginger.


    ¡°A visitor? How? Who? Where?¡± Kat¡¯s frown got deeper.


    ¡°An invisible person showed up in the control room and it wasn¡¯t their first visit,¡± Lacey found herself confessing her fears. ¡°They were there before lunch too, but we didn¡¯t catch them that time. We didn¡¯t even get a warning that anyone was near, but Spark saw whoever it was and started shooting zappy stuff at them.¡±


    ¡°All the way down in the control room?¡± Kat¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°Who would dare? We made things completely clear what would happen to anyone breaking the rules.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t think a level 77 assassin is worried about your rules,¡± Lacey groused, setting her hip against the table.


    Kat closed her eyes and groaned.


    ¡°What?¡± Lacey straightened up.


    ¡°I¡¯ll fix it,¡± Kat ground out between closed teeth.

 Chapter 2.21 – Letting Sleeping Cats Lie

    ¡°I think Kat knows who our visitor was,¡± Lacey announced as she returned to the control room.


    ¡°No way,¡± Colt had solidified his faith in Kat the night before.


    ¡°She said she¡¯d ¡®fix it,¡¯ not that I know what the hell that means,¡± Lacey tossed her backpack under her desk and slumped into her chair. ¡°I would have sworn she wasn¡¯t involved. I trusted her.¡±


    ¡°No way!¡± Colt got up to pace the width of the room.


    ¡°We¡¯ll get it out of her during lunch,¡± Lacey threw her hands up, her new unflappable attitude evaporated with the rest of her faith in anything. ¡°Until then, we¡¯re sitting ducks.¡±


    ¡°You think they¡¯ll come back today?¡± Colt stuck the pencil he¡¯d been using behind his ear and turned at the wall to return to his desk.


    ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t they?¡± Lacey asked, watching Colt pace away from his desk and back to the wall.


    ¡°Because maybe they got a cold?¡± Colt winced at how lame the statement sounded out loud.


    ¡°You think a little level 5 cold is going to affect a level 77 assassin?¡± Lacey scoffed, kicking the backpack lightly.


    ¡°Maybe we shouldn¡¯t jump to conclusions,¡± Colt pushed his palms at the ground, his pacing slowing but not stopping. ¡°There could be a good explanation.¡±


    ¡°If so, she didn¡¯t give it to me before she went into the race,¡± Lacey bent down to check that she hadn¡¯t broken anything by kicking her bag. While she was down there, she unloaded her pencil case and sketchpad. ¡°How is it going, anyway?¡±


    ¡°That depends on whether or not we¡¯re still rooting for Kat to win,¡± Colt threw himself into this poor chair so hard that it creaked.


    Lacey glared a response.


    ¡°Kat is ahead in points, but not by much,¡± Colt reported, taking the pencil out from behind his ear to tap on the desk. ¡°The other team is going faster, but they skipped a few of the quests. If they go back and do those quests, they could still win.¡±


    ¡°Where are they?¡± Lacey asked, bringing up her screen to see for herself.


    ¡°Kat¡¯s in 4-Square, and the other group is in the Tumbler,¡± Colt answered her even though he knew that she was now watching with him.


    ¡°How the tumbler working?¡± Lacey tried to think about pleasant things instead of the things she couldn¡¯t change or protect them from.


    ¡°It¡¯s pretty crazy with 5 people all looking different directions,¡± Colt¡¯s eyes lit with a spark of mischief. ¡°The room keeps spinning in the direction that the last person to move looks.¡±


    ¡°Sure enough, the quest said not to look up, so the first thing they did was look up, right?¡± Lacey tapped her screen, thoughtfully.


    ¡°They did,¡± Colt grinned. ¡°And the room flipped top to bottom so that they were standing on the ceiling. It was seconds later that they looked up again and it flipped again.¡±


    ¡°I like that puzzle,¡± Lacey cast a glance around the room and found Spark curled up near the wastebasket. Spark was fast asleep, which made Lacey feel safer. She slid the screen over to Kat and the 4-square puzzle rooms.


    Four-square was a game played on the playgrounds of some elementary schools. It was played with 2-4 people in a large square separated by lines so that it was split into 4 smaller, equal squares. One person had a large ball that they had to bounce to another player, who then had to bounce the ball to someone else. It sounded simple and it was, with people being ¡°out¡± if they missed catching the ball.


    The puzzle was just as easy with four players. It was harder with only one, like Kat, who was struggling. There was a round ball in one room. That ball had to be bounced once and then hit a wall. The ball would then appear in the room on the other side of the wall it had hit. Then it could be bounced to another wall. The ball had to appear in each room once; no more and no less. The rules of the game could be bought, but it cost a person half the points for the game to do so. Kat was still trying to figure it out without the rules.


    ¡°Did any of them try the library?¡± Lacey asked.


    ¡°Kat did a good job on the book puzzle,¡± Colt tilted back on his chair and balanced his pencil on the back of one hand. ¡°The other group accidentally burned half the books during a fight with the golems in the cathedral. They got the penalty even though they never went up the spiral staircase.¡±


    ¡°Were the golems the right level?¡± Lacey watched Kat try to read the cipher on the wall.Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.


    ¡°Kat had no trouble with them, but she only touched one at a time,¡± Colt dropped his pencil and leaned over precariously to pick it back up. ¡°The other group did 2-3 at a time. They made better time, but their healer had to rest between battles, so it balanced out.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s looking like a good level,¡± Lacey complimented his work. ¡°Even if they don¡¯t like the race aspect, it would have been a good level. They¡¯ve been in there almost 3 hours now, so even the timing is good.¡±


    ¡°The race part is tricky to predict though,¡± Colt pointed at the level with his pencil. ¡°Kat did the quest to find all the holy symbols in the living quarters, but she¡¯s behind them timewise. If the time spent was worth it, she should win. I think.¡±


    ¡°What is Kat doing that is working so much better than the other team?¡± Lacey wondered out loud.


    ¡°The Spunks can¡¯t get her with the traps,¡± Colt answered her question because he¡¯d been watching the whole thing while she¡¯d been morosely meandering back to the control room via all the distractions she could think up at the time. ¡°Even with the Trap Maintenance Corridor full of Spunks, Kat just slips right past all the traps like they are nothing. The other group had to really slow down. I guess their rogue isn¡¯t as good as Kat at trap detection.¡±


    ¡°Yet,¡± Lacey found herself glancing at Spark again, only allowing herself to relax when Spark was still napping. ¡°Is this how we¡¯re going to spend the rest of the day?¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Analyzing puzzle efficiency and watching to see is Spark goes after another shadow?¡± Lacey elucidated, her tension heavy on her shoulders.


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t watching Spark, but I¡¯m also drawing a new maze,¡± Colt held up a page of notes next to another map.


    ¡°Fine, name two animals that don¡¯t belong together in any way,¡± Lacey demanded, grabbing up her pencil and sketchbook.


    ¡°A camel and a peacock,¡± Colt threw out off the top of his head.


    ¡°A camcock?¡± Lacey cocked her head to the side.


    ¡°Or a peamel?¡± Colt suggested.


    ¡°Or a peacomel,¡± Lacey proclaimed and began to draw.


    ¡°I do not see how that thing is a mix of a camel and a peacock,¡± Colt remarked an hour later.


    ¡°The ruff on the camel expands to show the peacock feathers,¡± Lacey explained to him as she was filling in the outrageous colors.


    ¡°But where¡¯s the hump?¡± Colt protested, leaning over her shoulder.


    ¡°Okay, so the body is more doglike than camel, but I can put in a hump if you really want one,¡± Lacey groused, grinding her eraser against the back end of the camel.


    ¡°Double hump,¡± Colt pointed unhelpfully about where to put the humps.


    ¡°You want a double hump, draw it yourself,¡± Lacey swatted his hand away from her drawing.


    ¡°Oh! They finished!¡± Colt gave up on the humps and lunged back toward his desk.


    ¡°Who won?¡± Lacey paused with her pencil in the air.


    ¡°Kat, but it was close,¡± Colt grinned, even though they weren¡¯t sure that Kat was still on their side.


    ¡°Not quite enough time to run 2 races in a single shift,¡± Lacey said, checking the time on the finish.


    ¡°The other arenas are done, but the holdouts are in the Aztec Tombs,¡± Colt flipped through screens to see who was still in the dungeon.


    Lacey¡¯s gaze fell on the still-sleeping Spark as she fidgeted in her chair. Either their invisible visitor didn¡¯t show up or they¡¯d found a way to remain invisible even to Spark. Colt caught her looking around at the corners of the room and their eyes locked.


    ¡°Pedestal, show me the highest levelled adventurer in our dungeon,¡± Colt shrugged as he tried it. ¡°It¡¯s showing me a level 28 healer.¡±


    ¡°That should work,¡± Lacey let herself relax, a little.


    ¡°Betcha¡¯ they¡¯ve got the sniffles and couldn¡¯t be silent enough to sneak up on us today,¡± Colt suggested, waggling his eyebrows at her to break the tension.


    ¡°I was fine with it this morning when there was nothing I could do about it,¡± Lacey¡¯s complaint was too close to a whine for her comfort. ¡°I can¡¯t stand not knowing how Kat is involved.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ll find out soon,¡± Colt reminded her with a sigh.


    The time didn¡¯t fly, no matter how they fidgeted or tried to keep busy. The Peacomelo ended up being a seed-spitting, melon-colored, camel-like creature whose seeds immediately sprouted and rooted a person to the ground. The feathers in the ruff at the base of its neck were sharpened discs that shot off the Peacomelo like a porcupine¡¯s quills.


    ¡°Finally,¡± Colt grumbled, flashing the stack of submissions into the pedestal and then moving their control room near the exit that Kat had used. They picked up their coupons for an hour outside from Adam at the door and were outside within two minutes of the dungeon clearing.


    ¡°Lacey and Colt,¡± Bernard met them at the entrance, and Colt drew back a little when they didn¡¯t immediately see Kat. Lacey raised a hand to Bernard, trying to watch his face for any sense of betrayal. They kept their backs tight to the entrance, Adam and one of his elites right behind them.


    ¡°Where¡¯s Kat?¡± Lacey asked as soon as Bernard was close enough to do so politely.


    ¡°She said she had some business to take care of,¡± Bernard jogged up to them, the friendly smile on his face seeming genuine. ¡°She took that cat with her. I had no idea it was that huge. I¡¯d only ever seen it in its smaller form. She told me a little about the new challenge and I¡¯m delighted by the innovation. She said to tell you that it was a success, for sure.¡±


    ¡°I saw that your son was in the group that went up against Kat,¡± Colt took over the conversation and Lacey was glad because she couldn¡¯t find the words. They needed to speak with Kat. ¡°The race was very close.¡±


    ¡°That Kat is quite the competitor,¡± Bernard clapped Colt on the shoulder. ¡°Don¡¯t worry about hurting my feelings. I¡¯m competitive, but I love my son more than I love competition.¡±


    ¡°I wish that all fathers were that intuitive about how to treat their offspring,¡± Colt let Bernard preen a bit about his fatherhood and his son.


    Lacey scanned the clearing looking for evidence of Kat or Shadow, not that she thought she¡¯d find them if they didn¡¯t want to be found. Was Kat out there trying to fix it? Sure, Kat had been level 75 in her other life on some other game server or something, but she was nowhere near that level now and even Shadow might have trouble protecting Kat from a level 77 assassin. Surely Kat hadn¡¯t taken on the invader all on her own.


    For the first time since Lacey had heard Kat say that she¡¯d take care of it, Lacey worried that maybe Kat had bitten off more than she could chew. What if they had gotten Kat in trouble?


    ¡°Did Kat happen to say when she¡¯d be back?¡± Colt asked Bernard and Lacey turned her attention back to the conversation.


    ¡°Maybe a few days. She said she had business in town. She said that she shouldn¡¯t be long, but that was right after she came out of the dungeon,¡± Bernard admitted. ¡°I¡¯m sure she¡¯s fine. She¡¯s stronger than she looks.¡±

 Chapter 2.22 – A Girl Without a Shadow

    They received a dmail from Kat upon their return to the dungeon.  She let them know that she was taking care of some business and that they should run the dungeons as normal without her until she got it wrapped up.  Not seeing Kat in the dungeon put Colt in a slump emotionally, but it did give them time to catch up on those quests.


    With the dungeon incursions happening at 20/day, they made quick work of the sound quest, but without Kat to talk with or listen to, Colt wasn¡¯t up to testing the results much.  Dungeon radio was fun though, as they let some of the fights lend a backdrop to their creation process.


    They didn¡¯t bother to go topside the next day.  Lacey and Colt were on a roll with their designs and watching the time tick down on the 5-day quests.  They had wrapped up the sound but were waiting until the last minutes to summon a bunch of new mouths to feed.


    Colt talked Lacey into going topside for lunch, even if Kat wasn¡¯t around.  She knew he wanted to look around for Kat, but he probably also wanted Lacey to get a breather.  They ended up asking Bernard about Kat as soon as he greeted them outside.


    ¡°While I understand your concern for our lovely Kat,¡± Bernard gave Colt an indulgent smile, ¡°the worst that could happen would be that she is in a respawn queue.¡±


    ¡°I guess,¡± Colt muttered with a frown.


    ¡°I can send someone into town to check the queue if that would make you feel better,¡± Bernard offered, waving over a youngster from the group nearest to them.


    ¡°It would, actually,¡± Lacey accepted the offer.  ¡°She said she would be checking something out for us, and we¡¯d hate to be the cause of trouble for her.  Especially after all the help she¡¯s been to us.¡±


    ¡°Certainly,¡± Bernard nodded politely.  He directed the young man to take a horse and ride into town to check the respawn queue.  ¡°He should be back in a few hours.  I¡¯ll send word into the dungeon through a cleared entrance as soon as possible.  The dungeon will still open without her, won¡¯t it?¡±


    Lacey nudged Colt and repeated the question to get Colt back into the conversation.  ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt waved the question off.  ¡°We¡¯ll run a normal set this afternoon.  I was just worried about her.¡±


    ¡°Splendid,¡± Bernard declared, his smile loosening up.  ¡°If you would accept my hospitality, I would love to show you the improvements we¡¯ve been making around the camp,¡± Bernard offered, probably to try to placate the concern on Colt¡¯s face as he scanned the people near the entrance.  ¡°I realize that I¡¯m not quite as charming company as the young lady, but there are fortifications for the dungeon that are in process that may interest you.¡±


    ¡°Like what?¡± Lacey kept their side of the conversation up to let Colt obsess by scanning faces.  The worst that could happen would be that Kat was respawning somewhere, right?


    ¡°As you can see,¡± Bernard swept a hand around the clearing, ¡°we¡¯ve expanded the clearing area to create a space for not only the inside of the outpost, but also an area beyond the walls so that no one can sneak anything up on the fort.  We¡¯ve set up a basic stockade for now with a lot of the timber we¡¯ve cut down, but the defensive wall will be just inside that.¡±


    Now that Lacey was looking at it, she could see that the forest had been cleared much further than before.  Huge logs had been sharpened and set up in what seemed like a complicated crisscross pattern around the perimeter of what would be at least 2 acres of inside area.  Spark, having not found her playmate, meowed at Lacey to pick her back up.  Spark was not into the idea of a walk using her own feet, when Lacey was already walking that way anyway.


    ¡°It¡¯s bigger than I thought it would be,¡± Lacey commented, letting Bernard lead them toward the ring of protective wood spikes.  She bent down and picked up Spark, settling the kitten into the crook of her arm as both she and Colt followed Bernard through camp.


    ¡°It will house a full garrison, training field, and stable,¡± Bernard¡¯s chest swelled with pride at what they¡¯d already accomplished.  Lacey could see the beginnings of foundations for two large buildings and stakes marked out the layout of the buildings that Bernard pointed to.  ¡°We are pulling the stone from a nearby mountain so that we don¡¯t inadvertently impose on your dungeon area.  We weren¡¯t sure if taking from the mountain itself would damage the interior.  If you do have some extra stone that comes from any of your excavations, we would be happy to purchase it from you in exchange for more of the coupons you like so much.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re doing all this just to protect our dungeon,¡± Lacey¡¯s eyebrows rose.  ¡°The least we can do is contribute to the project.  The goblins only excavate for new dungeon levels during the night, but we¡¯ve been expanding some of the housing caves during the day shift to provide housing for a few new races of technical support.  What do you think, Colt?¡±


    ¡°As long as the folks out here all know not to treat our goblins as dungeon mobs, we could have them deliver at least a ton or two by nightfall,¡± Colt agreed, and while his eyes still scanned the edges of the forest for Kat, he was obviously still paying attention to the conversation as they walked along the perimeter.  ¡°None of the goblins are combatants in the dungeon anyway, so it shouldn¡¯t cause any confusion.¡±


    ¡°Do you have other non-combatant races helping with the running of the dungeon?¡± Bernard paused to ask.


    ¡°Sure,¡± Lacey replied, a little nervous at being so far from the entrance to the dungeon but not wanting to insult Bernard¡¯s hospitality.  Spark watched the surroundings calmly though, so Lacey figured that the area was safe enough.  Spark had alerted them to the intruder, so she would send up alarms if she spotted something off like that again.  In the meantime, Lacey would keep the kitten safe in her arms, since Shadow wasn¡¯t there to protect her.  ¡°There are the Spunks, who work trap maintenance and are good with our mechanical inventions.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ve got another race that will be workers as well,¡± Colt revealed a bit more than Lacey had intended.  ¡°But we¡¯re hoping to use them outside the back of the dungeon as farmers and such.  It can be a little difficult to keep up nutrition for a couple thousand mobs on mushrooms and worms.¡±The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    ¡°We have a quest line right now that should give us an outside village area to use for that,¡± Lacey told Bernard.  Colt was probably right in that they needed to be able to trust their allies, but she nudged Colt anyway.  ¡°It¡¯s just going to take a few more weeks to finish it up so we can get started on providing more of our own food.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a completely enclosed valley that the system has assured us will be unassailable,¡± Colt said, finally giving them a little more of his attention.  ¡°There¡¯s no reason to be cagey about it since it won¡¯t allow any extra access anyway.¡±


    ¡°How interesting,¡± Bernard shook his head in bewilderment.  ¡°We could possibly provide some basic foodstuffs, like grain or oats in exchange for the stone, if that would help you out.  At least until you can get a set of crops of your own.¡±


    ¡°That would be helpful,¡± Colt accepted the idea with enthusiasm.


    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t happen to have pizza, would you?¡± Lacey asked.


    ¡°Kat has shared the recipe with some of our chefs, but we have yet to try that one,¡± Bernard chuckled at Lacey¡¯s hopeful expression.  ¡°I take it from your enthusiasm for it, that you would welcome this pizza for, say, a celebratory dinner when the fort is operational?¡±


    ¡°We always love pizza,¡± Colt declared.


    They approached an opening in the stockade of sharpened poles of wood.  The forest beyond was still being cut back a ways further than the temporary wall.  The opening was guarded by 4 large men wearing chainmail and holding huge battleaxes.


    ¡°This type of wall is called a cheval de frise,¡± Bernard explained.  ¡°We find it to be the best temporary defense against soldiers.  The gaps still allow forest animals to squeeze through, but a medium to large force is stalled at it long enough for our guards to whittle them down.  We also have guards pacing the outside of the fence to make sure we don¡¯t have intruders that haven¡¯t been invited.¡±


    While the lesson on fortifications was interesting, Lacey didn¡¯t think they¡¯d keep out someone level 77, so they didn¡¯t help with whatever had sneaked into their dungeon.


    ¡°We have sentries further out, as well, and guards to keep the animals away from workers who are helping to clear the road from the village to the dungeon,¡± Bernard gestured off to where the small trail they¡¯d walked a mere days before was being widened, straightened, and lined with markers.  Lacey didn¡¯t want to admit that the whole thing did make her feel a bit safer, like these people really did consider Colt and Lacey to be a treasure worth protecting.  ¡°There are already a few peddlers making the rounds all the way out here, so I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if we didn¡¯t have a merchant or two looking to settle in outside the wall.¡±


    ¡°Why would they be outside the wall?¡± Colt asked.  ¡°Wouldn¡¯t they be safer inside?¡±


    ¡°For the first level of construction, we¡¯re focused on the main fort here and the military presence that will help people understand that the dungeon itself is off limits to just anyone,¡± Bernard¡¯s tone took on a lecturing rhythm.  ¡°Once we have the main structure and a few merchants move in, they know that we¡¯ll eventually extend the settlement with a second wall further out.  Until then, there will be plenty of time to move anyone into the fort in case of an attack.¡±


    ¡°What about wild animal attacks?¡± Colt asked, and now Lacey took a turn scanning for any sign of Kat.


    ¡°Those willing to take the chance on settling a new area first are hardy folks,¡± Bernard answered him easily.  ¡°Animals are going to mostly leave us alone with as many of us as are out here, but the ones that are brave enough to attack the merchants will find that they can defend themselves.  It won¡¯t be long though.  As soon as half a dozen shops set up, we¡¯ll be ready to expand further.¡±


    ¡°I just didn¡¯t think our little dungeon would entice a full settlement to develop,¡± Lacey wondered out loud.  ¡°It¡¯s a lot to take in.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re lucky that the nearby village is a farming settlement,¡± Bernard waved at the nearest trees.  ¡°They¡¯ll expand and provide the food for this new little settlement so that most of the surrounding forest will survive.  Between the village and the forest for hunting, we¡¯ll have easy access to enough food to sustain a larger settlement than you might think.  This is just the beginning.¡±


    ¡°What are you going to call it?¡± Colt asked, and Lacey was a bit taken aback.


    ¡°We are still parlaying ideas on that,¡± Bernard hedged, turning to face them.  They stood outside the wooden barricade on the road and Lacey could almost imagine the smith and general store popping up on either side of the entrance.  ¡°Since you haven¡¯t given us a name for your dungeon, we can¡¯t name it after the dungeon itself.¡±


    ¡°I hadn¡¯t thought about naming the dungeon,¡± Colt looked to Lacey.


    ¡°Don¡¯t look at me,¡± Lacey shrugged.  ¡°I¡¯m the one who named a race of farmers Rejects.¡±


    ¡°That was a misunderstanding,¡± Colt quirked a smile at her.  ¡°If you leave it to me, I¡¯ll do worse.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll have to think about it,¡± Lacey shook her head at Colt.  ¡°Until then, we¡¯ll have to just be the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t help much with our settlement name,¡± Bernard started to say, but Colt interrupted.


    ¡°Do you hear that?¡± he looked off into the trees.  Now that he¡¯d pointed it out, Lacey thought she could hear raised voices.


    ¡°I hear something,¡± Lacey turned toward the sounds.  Colt was already moving toward it.


    ¡°Wait now, young lord,¡± Bernard put a hand on Colt¡¯s arm, waving two of the guards to go check it out.  ¡°Let my men go take a look.¡±


    ¡°That sounds like Kat,¡± Colt protested, trying to pull away from Bernard.  ¡°She may need help.¡±


    ¡°I hate to say it, but what could you do out here to help her?¡± Lacey held onto Colt¡¯s other arm.


    Colt swore and shrugged her off, but he didn¡¯t leave to follow the guards.  The 2 guards jogged toward the trees.


    ¡°My guards are levels 44 and 45,¡± Bernard tried to reassure Colt.  ¡°If they give the signal, another dozen of my men of similar levels will dash to her rescue.¡±


    Colt audibly ground his teeth, and Lacey didn¡¯t blame him.  They were already so far out from the dungeon that they were vulnerable to almost anything.  They¡¯d proved that on their last trip to town.  Still, Kat had Shadow, so Lacey wasn¡¯t worried, but Colt wasn¡¯t used to allowing others to fight his battles.  He was used to being the guy who charged in to save the day.  It didn¡¯t help that they were nearing the time that they would have to return to the dungeon.  Lacey didn¡¯t think the timer on their screens was going to matter to Colt until he saw Kat was safe.


    Before the guards could enter the trees, Kat emerged, scowling but intact.  ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± they could hear her snarling out at the guards, who stayed behind to gaze into the forest where Kat had appeared.  Kat didn¡¯t wait for them.  She stalked toward the gate area, her boots kicking up dust.  Colt wasn¡¯t the only one swearing.


    ¡°Kat?¡± Colt called out, and she looked up and nearly stopped.


    Lacey watched Kat heave a huge sigh and paste a smile on her face as she gave them a wave.  Kat wasn¡¯t fooling anyone.  She looked as pissed as a cat with a poofy tail, her hands balled up in fists and an incomprehensible mutter on her lips.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± Kat finally called out when she¡¯d gotten close enough that she didn¡¯t have to yell.  The guards had turned from the forest to follow her back, but one of them walked backward to keep an eye on it as they retreated, and Lacey liked them better for it.


    Lacey let herself relax, concerned by how much they¡¯d come to rely on Kat¡¯s presence as a safety net.  She resolved to start carrying at least one of their dungeon closure coupons with her.  They¡¯d become too complacent and that wasn¡¯t allowed in Lacey¡¯s mind.  Something was still off about it all.  It took Spark¡¯s tiny mew to remind Lacey of what was wrong.  Shadow wasn¡¯t with Kat.

 Chapter 2.23 – Look Who’s Coming to Dinner

    ¡°Sorry I¡¯m late,¡± Kat was flushed and panting.  She passed them all, taking Colt¡¯s arm and steering him back in through the opening in the stockade.


    ¡°Is everything okay?¡± Colt¡¯s tone was serious, as he pulled Kat to a stop.


    ¡°Uh,¡± Kat puffed out another breath.  What could have winded a person with Kat¡¯s levels of strength and stamina?  ¡°Yes and no, but I think¡­¡± she started, a hand on Colt¡¯s arm.


    ¡°Halt and announce yourself,¡± came the gruff command of one of the guards at their backs.  They turned to watch a man stroll out of the forest.  Kat turned to look back and rolled her eyes.  Those eyes settled into fury, and they all turned to see who had set off the normally happy-go-lucky attitude.


    Dressed all in black leather that looked just as amazing as Kat¡¯s attire, the man walked casually with his hands in his pockets and a wry smile on his lips and he didn¡¯t look particularly happy.  He was taller than the guards by an inch or two with curly black hair dusted with a bit of white and a perfectly trimmed beard and mustache.  The white didn¡¯t look like it had come from advanced age, as he didn¡¯t look much older than the rest of the players they¡¯d met.  He had a lithe form, and a devil-take-you look in his eyes as he ignored the largish cat that had its teeth firmly sunk into the man¡¯s calf.


    ¡°You cannot be here,¡± Kat told the man, strolling toward the guards as if he owned the world.


    He passed the guards after saying something too low for them to hear.  They flanked the man instead, not that he seemed bothered by the escort.  Kat bristled like a porcupine with poisoned quills.  The fact that Kat didn¡¯t like the guy told Lacey all she needed to know, at least for now.


    ¡°I¡¯m afraid the young woman is correct, sir,¡± Bernard stepped gallantly in front of Kat, causing the man¡¯s gaze to go from almost indulgent to deadly serious in a second.  ¡°This area is restricted to approved guild members.  I¡¯m going to have to ask you to turn back.¡±


    ¡°I would advise you to step out from between myself and my daughter, sir,¡± the man said, his tone so low that he almost couldn¡¯t be heard over the ambient noise of workers down the road and the camp behind them that was preparing for the second run of the day for the dungeon.  The fact that they had heard the raised voices from this distance over the noise behind them attested to how loud his and Kat¡¯s argument had been.


    ¡°That¡¯s not necessary, Dad,¡± Kat put herself between the man and Bernard.


    Lacey looked to Colt who was standing there with his mouth hanging half-open like he¡¯d seen a ghost instead of a man.  Was it time to meet the parents already?  Colt was normally good with parents.  He was a wholesome guy with a churchy upbringing that moms liked and a respectful attitude that most dads grudgingly allowed.  Then again, Colt generally had time to prepare and gussy up for meeting the parents.  This was rather sudden even for easy-going Colt.


    ¡°I¡¯m hardly intimidated by a man of lower level than my son,¡± Bernard lowered his chin and glared, his hand on his sword.


    ¡°What level?¡± Kat stammered, her eyes wide.


    ¡°Ten,¡± the new man said with a glower and cluck of his tongue.  Lacey didn¡¯t think the guy looked like he was a measly level 10.


    ¡°What?¡± Kat snapped, her hands up between the two men.


    ¡°Your mother has a vindictive sense of humor,¡± the man explained in the tersest way possible.


    ¡°I don¡¯t get it,¡± Kat looked up and blinked a few times, obviously thinking through the meager set of words.


    ¡°My wife has declared that I¡¯m the one in the wrong,¡± he didn¡¯t look like he agreed.  ¡°She has given me the chance to re-earn my levels to catch up with you.  I don¡¯t think that will be too difficult.¡±


    He wore his arrogance like a long cloak.  Lacey had worn a cloak once.  Every time she¡¯d tried to scoot by anyone or anything, she¡¯d dusted things off tables and tripped over the long hem.  The only thing tripped up by this man¡¯s arrogance was probably other people.


    ¡°Let me see if I understand this,¡± Kat looked at him out of the corner of her eye.  ¡°Since you wouldn¡¯t listen to me about minding your own business, Mom busted you down from level 77 to level 10, so that we are on even footing?¡±


    There was almost too much wrong with this conversation to process all at once, Lacey thought.  She could tell that Colt agreed as he hadn¡¯t recovered and still had his mouth half open.  Lacey¡¯s mind latched onto the level 77 part and made a tentative connection to their intruder.  Then that same stunned mind skittered over the dad part and right to the mom part.  What the hell was Mom that she could bust dad down to level 10?  It boggled the mind and so her brain finally stumbled to a halt with the memory of Kat saying that her father had assassins killing her previous NPC boyfriends.Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ¡°First,¡± he growled back, ¡°you are my business and second, we are not on even footing as you are nearly twice my level.  Your mother also busted down Shadow.¡±  He pointed to the cat still attached to his leg.  Now that he was close enough, Lacey could see that it wasn¡¯t superficial.  There was blood on Shadow¡¯s mouth, not that any of it showed on the man¡¯s black leather pants.


    Spark squirmed to get down, but Lacey kept her grip tight.  Shadow had his mouth full.  He was definitely too busy to protect her little kitten, who was probably trying to get down only to help Shadow out.  At the thought of her precious Spark attacking this man, Lacey hugged Spark hard enough to make her squeak in protest.  Lacey lightened her hold a little at the touch of claws on her bare arm, but she was not letting Spark down.


    ¡°Shadow?¡± Kat lowered her attention to the cat still hanging onto the man¡¯s pants.


    ¡°My name is Dom,¡± the new man tried to smile as he slid a hand out of his pocket to posit a shake of hands toward Bernard.  Shadow, perhaps having taken his name being called as permission to let go of the man, spat out the pant-leg with a bit of a cough and blood that the man didn¡¯t seem to notice.


    This man was their intruder, and they¡¯d caught him in the dungeon twice.  Lacey cocked her head to the side to study him a bit more carefully.  This was the person who had stalked them in their own control room and yet they weren¡¯t dead, no matter how much Lacey had seen such things in her dreams.  Kat¡¯s dad?  Kat had said that he was protective.  What did that mean in an environment like this where murder wasn¡¯t really a bad thing?  He hadn¡¯t killed them, so maybe it wasn¡¯t as bad as all that.


    ¡°I am Count Bernard Mattolth, of Hamburg in Sumberton, and leader of the Firestar Hunter Guild,¡± Bernard announced, too well-mannered to deny the new man a handshake.  The two men shook hands like gentlemen.  Shadow glared at Dom the entire sullen walk back to Kat¡¯s side.  Spark squirmed again, and since it seemed safer, Lacey let her down.  Spark stalked across the grass to join Shadow, tossing a single sparking hiss at Dom.  Kat, her chin jutting forward, still gave her dad the stink eye.


    Dom reached a hand to Lacey and, not knowing what else to do, she took it.  ¡°I¡¯m Lacey, one of the dungeon masters of the dungeon here.¡±


    ¡°Well met,¡± Dom bent his head to her with a thin smile.  Spark, hiding behind Shadow, hissed again at Dom.  He quirked an eyebrow at the pair of pets.  She could have imagined it, but Dom¡¯s gaze seemed to soften a little when he looked down at the cats.  Lacey thought a little better of him until he turned to Colt and Dom¡¯s eyelids lowered to half-mast.


    When he got to Colt, his eyes weren¡¯t smiling, but he did offer his hand.


    ¡°Oh, no you don¡¯t,¡± Kat pushed herself between Dom and Colt, a dagger in her hand.  ¡°I don¡¯t care how low you¡¯ve been busted down to, you¡¯re not touching him.¡±


    ¡°If I¡¯d wanted to hurt the boy, I¡¯ve had plenty of time to do so,¡± Dom ran his tongue over his upper teeth and withdrew his hand.  He did all that and yet didn¡¯t seem to open his mouth far enough to more than mumble the statement.


    ¡°The difference is that now I can and will stop you even if it means spawn camping your ass back to level 1,¡± Kat spat at him, and her vehemence was almost palpable.  Lacey wanted to believe that spawn camping could have accounted for the man losing 67 levels.


    ¡°We can deal with this like civilized people,¡± Bernard interjected unwisely, obviously uncomfortable with the level of Kat¡¯s animosity.  Being a father himself, he likely sympathized with Dom.  Lacey wasn¡¯t sure she agreed, considering that Dom was not all that fond of her best friend and had very recently been a level 77 player.  The last player even half that high had wanted to take over their dungeon.


    ¡°I doubt that,¡± Kat muttered, but then she smiled at Bernard and changed the tone.  ¡°Even if we could, Dom here is not a citizen of Sumberton, much less a member of any of the approved guilds.  As I said before, Dom, you can¡¯t be here.¡±


    ¡°You are no more of a citizen of Sumberton than I am, nor are you a member of any of the guilds here,¡± Dom countered.  ¡°And yet you run the dungeon without even having to take turns like the rest of the guild members.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because I found the dungeon and organized all this for the dungeon,¡± Kat spat out through clenched teeth.  ¡°We have an arrangement.¡±


    ¡°Then, I too am free to make arrangements,¡± Dom stated, crossing his arms over his chest with a creak of worn leather.


    ¡°Really?¡± she challenged, a glint in her eyes that didn¡¯t seem to bother him in the slightest.


    ¡°Really,¡± he declared with just a hint of a sneer.


    ¡°Well, I am the representative of this dungeon, and I say you don¡¯t have a right to be here,¡± Kat asserted.  ¡°You¡¯ve already broken several rules of the dungeon and are therefore banned.¡±


    ¡°What rules?¡±


    ¡°You violated the one-way doors to delve deeper than allowed,¡± Kat ticked off her points on her fingers.  ¡°You stalked the dungeon masters in their own control room.  You entered the dungeon without signing up with the guilds.¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t prove I¡¯ve been in the dungeon,¡± Dom cocked his head to the side.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know of any other level 77 players on this server,¡± Kat said, and Lacey felt like a spectator at a tennis match, eyes bouncing from one person to the other as they argued.


    ¡°I¡¯m not level 77,¡± he raised an eyebrow.  ¡°I¡¯m level 10.¡±


    ¡°This isn¡¯t a game you can twist around however you want,¡± Kat poked his chest.


    ¡°This is a game,¡± he smiled.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be dense,¡± Kat argued, her voice slipping into sweet sarcasm.  ¡°Unless Mom also deleted 90% of your intelligence stat.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t give her any ideas,¡± he frowned.


    ¡°Don¡¯t tempt me,¡± she glared.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you let the dungeon masters decide for themselves instead of tyrannically dictating who goes in and out of their dungeon,¡± Dom probably thought he sounded reasonable.


    ¡°Sure, why not?¡± she turned to Colt and Lacey.  ¡°Do you want this conniving, control-crazy, overbearing, maniacal deviant in your dungeon?¡±

 Chapter 2.24 – I Don’t Want to Talk About It

    ¡°You¡¯re not even going to allow me to make a case for myself?¡± Dom glowered at Kat.


    ¡°I hate to break this up,¡± Lacey spoke before Kat got a full breath for a reply.  ¡°But we don¡¯t have much time before we have to be back in the dungeon.  Our coupons expire in a few minutes.¡±


    ¡°Then we can walk, and I can make my case on the way back to the entrance,¡± Dom reasoned.


    ¡°I¡¯m afraid that I can¡¯t allow that either,¡± Bernard held a hand out to stop Dom.  ¡°This area is for guild members only.¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s not in your guild,¡± Dom protested again.


    ¡°She has special envoy status,¡± Bernard seemed reluctant to refuse the guy, but he did his duty.


    ¡°We really have to go,¡± Lacey tapped the back of her wrist as if there was an imaginary ticking watch.


    ¡°You can revisit this tomorrow when the dungeon masters have some time to meet again,¡± Bernard suggested.


    ¡°We don¡¯t need to revisit anything,¡± Colt found his voice.  ¡°Our answer is no.¡±


    Dom looked baffled at the refusal.  ¡°Do both of you feel that way?¡±


    ¡°Absolutely,¡± Lacey assured him, reaching down to pick up Spark.


    ¡°Why?¡± he asked, even as they turned to go.


    ¡°We don¡¯t trust you to follow the rules,¡± Colt turned back to say.  Lacey didn¡¯t bother.  Lacey wasn¡¯t sure she hated the guy, but she would back Colt up no matter what.  Dom probably wasn¡¯t the bad guy, but he wasn¡¯t to be trusted.  He didn¡¯t have their best interests in mind.


    ¡°What he said,¡± Lacey called back over her shoulder.


    The gate guards closed ranks behind them, blocking Dom from their view, not that they turned around.  Lacey cast a sideways glance at Colt.  His chin was set.  Lacey pressed her lips together and hustled to keep pace with his longer stride.


    ¡°That was great,¡± Kat dashed to catch up to them, Bernard still back with the guards, probably to keep an eye on Dom.


    ¡°You could have warned me,¡± Colt didn¡¯t break stride, but his tone wiped the grin from Kat¡¯s face.


    ¡°Okay,¡± Kat stepped in front of Colt to stop his forward progress.  ¡°I could have handled that better.  I see that.¡±


    ¡°You knew it was your dad who had sneaked down into our control room,¡± Colt stepped around her, then stopped.  ¡°And you let us think you were in trouble when you disappeared.¡±


    ¡°Okay,¡± Kat rocked back on her heels.  ¡°I wasn¡¯t thinking all that well.  He just gets to me!  You have to understand that, right?¡±


    ¡°I can understand and still be mad,¡± Colt turned back toward the dungeon.  It took Kat a moment to follow again.


    ¡°You¡¯re mad?¡± Kat called, then stopped when he turned back to face her.


    Colt opened his mouth, then snapped it shut and scooted around a passing adventurer.


    ¡°At him or me?¡± Kat asked once she¡¯d caught up to him again.


    Colt kept walking, Lacey at his side.  Lacey cast a quick glance behind them to see Kat standing flatfooted in the middle of camp.  Lacey winced at the look on her face.  She didn¡¯t think even Colt knew who he was angry with.  Had he noticed that Kat hadn¡¯t continued to follow them?  Lacey looked at him again, and understood that yes, he knew Kat had stopped.  There was a glint of hurt behind his anger.


    It didn¡¯t happen often, but Colt did have a temper.  It wasn¡¯t the type of temper where he¡¯d hurt anybody.  Sure, he could put a fist through a wall and barely feel it, but he didn¡¯t.  Lacey followed him into the dungeon with barely a minute left on their timers.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk about it,¡± he declared on the other side of the barrier.  ¡°Much as I¡¯d like to sit and sulk, we have a dungeon to run that requires workaholic hours just to keep up with the quests we have stacked up against us.¡±


    ¡°No problem,¡± Lacey said.  With all the times he¡¯d talked Lacey down off the edge of anger or sadness or hurt, she didn¡¯t often need to do the same for him.


    It wasn¡¯t that she didn¡¯t know what to do.  He just didn¡¯t need the comedic cajoling out of a funk that Lacey did.  Colt needed space and time to be able to think straight again.  He hated the feeling of mindlessness that anger instilled in him.  He¡¯d be fine once he could think it through.


    He brought the temporary pedestal up in the modified bat cave and ordered an elevator back to the control room.  Without a word, he dismissed that pedestal by calling one up in the elevator room.  He used that pedestal to move them both to the control room.


    ¡°Colt and Lacey back!¡± Ginger enthused, jumping up from Colt¡¯s desk to greet them.Stolen story; please report.


    ¡°Not now, Ginger,¡± Colt said in a polite tone that might as well have been a slap to anyone who knew him.


    ¡°He just means that we need to work, Ginger,¡± Lacey explained quickly, shooing the goblin to Ginger¡¯s desk.


    Ginger wisely sat at her desk without comment, but she watched Colt with a suspicious gaze as he stood and scrolled through some options on the main pedestal.  Lacey let Spark down and fished a treat out of a baggie on her own desk.  Colt ordered up spicy chicken wings on the pedestal and cracked open a beer from their cooler.


    ¡°You want something?¡± he offered, his voice flat.  Lacey tossed the treat to Spark.


    ¡°I¡¯ve got it,¡± she replied rather than explain an order.  Instead, she ordered it from her desk.  It appeared over the main pedestal and Colt tossed it to Lacey with unerring accuracy.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been thinking about those Trugs you made up before lunch,¡± Colt changed the subject, but Lacey was ready for it.  Trugs were a mix of a troll and a bug, specifically a roach.


    ¡°What about them?¡±


    Colt didn¡¯t crack a smile or make a joke like he normally would.  That was okay.  Colt didn¡¯t need to be happy all the time to be Lacey¡¯s best friend.  He didn¡¯t even have to be polite.  After all, most of the time, he couldn¡¯t even put the toilet seat back down after using the bathroom and she put up with that.  Businesslike Colt wasn¡¯t going to break her heart.  Friends could be like that.


    ¡°Trolls normally regenerate, so these probably should too, don¡¯t you think?¡± he sucked a gob of spicy sauce off his thumb and took a swig of beer to wash down the sting.  Lacey didn¡¯t bother to reply.


    She just waited for him to continue, taking a bite of her own overstuffed burrito as they ignored the dungeon turning red.  It wasn¡¯t like they had to watch the adventurers every time they ran through the dungeon.  Lacey resisted the urge to pull up a screen that could show her if Kat actually did a run this time.  There was time for that later.


    ¡°I¡¯ve got an idea for a level that will allow that feature to shine, but I need to know how the regeneration will work,¡± Colt continued, prompting her to fill in the blanks.


    ¡°I haven¡¯t dumped that drawing in the system yet, so we can specify a few things in the notes,¡± she got up from her desk to grab one of her ever-full diet sodas.  ¡°What did you have in mind?¡±


    ¡°If we can get them to regenerate fast enough, we can have a very small level that only looks easy,¡± he explained.  ¡°We can repurpose some goblin residential caves, the old primitive ones.  By the time the crawlers get to the end of the caves, the Trugs in the first cave will have regenerated.¡±


    They worked on the level together and she was glad because Lacey had been running low on ideas for new monsters.  The thought of drawing a giraffe-squirrel had her wanting to pull her hair out.  She wouldn¡¯t have believed it just a month before, but the constant pressure to produce quick, new monsters was wearing on her creativity.


    They modified the Trugs so that they would not only regenerate, but that the regeneration would occur after the monster¡¯s body part had burrowed itself into the ground.  They were hoping for a one-hour or less regeneration time.  If they could get that, then the adventurers were in for a rather nasty shock when they walked back out of the level and found even stronger mobs just rising from shallow graves behind them.


    Dark Lacey had dealt with the goblin moonshine fiasco, but Dark Colt was another type of scary.  The Trug limbs, once severed from the main body, would grow tiny fingers that would dig down into the soft earth of the level¡¯s floor.  Once underground, the limb would regenerate a full body.  The adventurers might think that the level was clear, but if even one limb was regenerating, they couldn¡¯t get the dungeon¡¯s cleared bonus.  The Trugs were vulnerable to fire and acid, like any undead or insect, but they were also ruthless enough to throw themselves at targets so that limbs would be severed and increase their numbers.  Even if they didn¡¯t regenerate in time to attack the same group, this quick reproduction would increase the number of Trugs between incursions as well.


    ¡°What about making some version of the weeping angels?¡± Colt suggested, when Lacey admitted she was running out of inspiration for the last five custom monsters on their quest.  The last monster she¡¯d made was one she called a Sweeper because it cleaned the bottom of the water areas.  Ginger didn¡¯t clean down there because her cleaning spell killed off huge swathes of the fish, so Lacey had made another maintenance mob instead of a new monster.


    ¡°We already nearly destroyed the world with replicators, Colt,¡± Lacey gave him a look.  ¡°They already destroyed Stargate, and I should have known better.  I¡¯m not compounding that with the scariest thing from Dr. Who.¡±


    ¡°I would argue that the Silence was scarier,¡± he countered, screwing the cap back on his beer bottle and pushing it away from him.


    ¡°Who?¡±


    ¡°Exactly,¡± he deadpanned, still not having cracked a smile since they¡¯d returned from topside.


    ¡°Colt,¡± she started, but he held up a hand.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk about it,¡± he replied.  It was a testament to years of friendship that those few words were all either of them needed to say before going back to work.  ¡°Let¡¯s hit up some DnD monsters.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t replicate a monster that¡¯s already been created somewhere or its just wasted time,¡± she pointed out.


    ¡°So, we combine some of the DnD stuff like you have with the earth animals,¡± he shrugged.


    ¡°Like what?¡±


    ¡°Like a wight and a griffon,¡± he suggested.


    ¡°An undead version of a bird-headed lion?¡± Lacey shook her head slowly with a whistle.  Dark Colt was his own form of cruel.  Then again, they needed more mobs like the gossowaries, so she wasn¡¯t complaining.  She got a two-headed owlbear with acid breath on one head and fire breathing on the other.  It regenerated like a hydra too.  They made it the final mob in an Egyptian-themed dungeon where the zombies had crocodile heads.


    They didn¡¯t spend hours detailing each idea.  Instead, they built up a base of ideas to work from.  Colt would be working on the maze and level design for the Egyptian level.  Lacey would eventually work up more than a basic pencil sketch of the monsters that Dark Colt was dreaming up.


    Her gaze flicked to her screen only when he wasn¡¯t looking.  Kat had entered the dungeon late, but she was working through an arena level with her own version of vicious efficiency.  It said something to Lacey that Kat hadn¡¯t just curled up in a ball like some fluff-girl.  There was hope.


    Lacey was pretty sure that there was a lot more than a casual date on the line between Kat and Colt.  From how she¡¯d treated her dad, Kat had shown that she too had a temper and that she could hold a grudge.  Whatever bad blood existed between Kat and her father, Lacey sympathized, but she was Colt¡¯s best friend first.  There was nothing that would change that.


    The problem lay in the fact that Colt had set his sights on a person who could crush their dreams with a petulant stomp of her foot.  Kat didn¡¯t strike Lacey as the petulant type, at least not with serious stuff, but women had done worse for less cause.  Lacey didn¡¯t even think about whether Colt was justified in his feelings.  She just supported him in them.  Colt had enough pressure on his mind without Lacey adding facts in there; facts like how idiotic it was to chase a girl with the power to crush their dreams.


    Lacey flicked her screens off of Kat.  It didn¡¯t matter.  Lacey was firmly on Colt¡¯s side, no matter what.  That was just the reality of things.

 Chapter 2.25 – Bolt or Double Down

    ¡°I don¡¯t feel like going outside today,¡± Colt declared as lunchtime drew near.


    ¡°Then I won¡¯t either,¡± Lacey gave a curt nod in return and went back to drawing the extended claws on the mimic-log-trap.  This log didn¡¯t just swing down from ropes, it flew down and attacked a person no matter where they stood to duck the trap.


    ¡°That¡¯s not fair to you,¡± Colt frowned more than his new normal scowl.


    ¡°Solidarity,¡± she answered.  After the Mimog, Lacey had plenty of other ideas to work through.  If she could finish this list, they¡¯d finish that quest.  She¡¯d spent half the previous night working late with Colt because he wasn¡¯t ready for sleep.  Was he sulking?  Maybe.


    He was working on the New York Sewer system where Crocorats warred with the vampire sludges they¡¯d dubbed Slamps.  The theme was West Side Story-ish, but only they¡¯d know that.  They were using the quest system to make the adventuring group save a girl that didn¡¯t want to be saved.  They were even incorporating an underwater subway car where the Were-rays were a neutral faction of manta rays that changed into hyenas on dry land.


    ¡°Go up,¡± he didn¡¯t even look up from his map.


    ¡°And say what to whom?¡± Lacey rejected the idea.


    ¡°Just to get outside.¡±


    It wasn¡¯t even tempting.  ¡°No thanks.¡±  The amount of tension from the people involved would be worse than the pressure of being underground.  ¡°I¡¯ll go up tomorrow.  Or maybe I¡¯ll go up around midnight when everyone¡¯s sleeping.¡±


    ¡°I just need one more day of sulking,¡± he gave a half-smile that she almost didn¡¯t see because he still didn¡¯t look up.


    ¡°If I thought you didn¡¯t deserve a little sulk, I¡¯d be whining for you to take me up,¡± Lacey sat up straighter to stretch her back.


    ¡°So, you do think I¡¯m sulking,¡± Colt squashed the half-smile with a ruthless frown.


    ¡°Your word, not mine,¡± Lacey raised an eyebrow at him.  ¡°Don¡¯t go picking fights with me just because you¡¯re chicken shit to go talk to the girl.¡±


    Colt looked up with a look of betrayal.  ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Too soon?¡±


    ¡°Maybe,¡± he admitted, his eyes going to his screen.  ¡°The last group is about to clear out.  If you¡¯re going up¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not.¡±


    ¡°She didn¡¯t even warn me,¡± he finally said it.


    ¡°Nope,¡± Lacey put her pencil back in the can.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to make a bad impression on her dad like that,¡± Colt dug a hand into his hair and pushed his chair back on two legs.


    ¡°Makes sense.¡±


    ¡°And he¡¯s been stalking us!¡± he threw his hands up and his chair wobbled fiercely, not that it concerned Colt at all.


    ¡°Totally uncool.¡±


    Ginger sat at her desk, but she was watching Colt and Lacey with wide eyes.  It looked a bit like they must have looked watching Kat and her dad fighting the day before.  Colt smacked the front legs of his chair into the stone floor with a wince-inducing splintering sound that should have collapsed the chair beneath him.


    ¡°And she¡¯s some kind of princess of the server or something,¡± he ranted on.  ¡°Her family could probably cause us a lot of trouble and we just got things going in the right direction.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d wondered if that was going to occur to you,¡± Lacey winced.


    ¡°How could it not?¡± he went on.  ¡°I mean, if her mom could zap him down from 77 to 10, then she could have changed her mind and zapped him right back up and he could even be back in here right now spying on us!¡±


    ¡°I hadn¡¯t thought of that,¡± Lacey frowned, looking around for Spark.Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    ¡°I can¡¯t stop thinking about it!¡±


    ¡°Does that mean you have to date her?¡± Lacey scoffed.  ¡°In case your stupid brain goes the wrong way, the only answer to that is No!¡±


    He waved his hands around over his head.  She didn¡¯t need to hear the words to know that he meant, ¡°And lose all this?¡±


    ¡°And it¡¯s still no.¡±


    ¡°How can you say that?¡± he squawked.


    Lacey took a moment then said, ¡°Would you ask me to whore myself out to pay rent?¡±


    ¡°NO!¡±


    ¡°Me neither.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey gave him a you¡¯re-an-idiot look.


    ¡°Thanks.¡±


    ¡°No problem,¡± she waved it off like it was nothing even though they both knew it wasn¡¯t nothing.


    ¡°How could I have chased a girl like that?¡± Colt lamented, though they both knew he didn¡¯t mean it.  They both knew that he couldn¡¯t have known, and that even if he had known, it wouldn¡¯t have changed anything.  It wouldn¡¯t except for how he might have responded to meeting her dad.


    Instead of answering that, Lacey dug a treat out and tossed it to Spark.


    ¡°She must hate me,¡± Colt put his forehead against the desk in front of him.


    ¡°So, you¡¯re still interested in her?¡± Lacey gave him a dubious look, just in case he still wanted to back out of that statement.


    ¡°How could I not be?¡± he looked up with a dopey smile, the first smile in almost a whole day.  The world righted itself for Lacey.


    Colt did one of two things during the first fight of a relationship.  He bolted or he doubled down.  That first fight, more often than not, revealed the fatal flaw of the girl he was chasing after.  This fight had exposed the dark side of Kat, the depth of angst that existed under all that cute shell she put out for the world to adore.


    Lacey had seen the hints of it in how Kat had only admitted her attraction to Colt when he wasn¡¯t looking.  She¡¯d seen the awkward under the brittle mask of normal.  Lacey, personally, liked Kat a little more for it.


    ¡°Well, shit,¡± Colt said, only in that moment admitting or realizing the truth.  Colt had doubled down.


    ¡°If we¡¯re going up there, I need to put on my boots,¡± Lacey scooted her chair back and headed for the bedroom to find her shoes.


    ¡°I haven¡¯t even showered!¡± he called out, heading through his own room to the shower where he would rinse so fast as to be useless anyway.


    ¡°Colt act very strange,¡± Ginger shook her big green head at his retreating figure as Lacey came out of her room with her boots in her hand.


    ¡°He¡¯s a guy,¡± Lacey shrugged.  ¡°They¡¯re all strange.¡±


    ¡°Ginger thought Colt different,¡± Ginger scratched her head.


    ¡°Not when it comes to dating a girl,¡± Lacey sat down on her chair to tug on her boots.


    The dungeon was still red, so Lacey scanned the screens.  She cast a glance at Spark.  Spark was batting around a stray crumpled paper, not a care in the world.  There didn¡¯t seem to be anyone left in the dungeon, but Spark wasn¡¯t acting funny.


    ¡°Pedestal, show me the remaining adventurers,¡± Lacey announced across the room.


    The screen flickered and settled on a screen with a single adventurer making his way to the dungeon exit.  It was odd that the guilds had sent a single person in by themselves.  Until now, only Kat had gone through alone.  Lacey flipped through screens to look up their stats for this run, but Colt came out, interrupting Lacey¡¯s query.


    Colt¡¯s hair dripped as he ran a comb through it.  The comb then went in his mouth and Lacey was reminded that guys were gross.  Seeing her look of disgust, he tossed the comb to the top of his desk and reached around to tuck in his shirt.  All the while, he was kicking his shoes across the room to his chair.


    ¡°Do I look okay?¡±


    ¡°Colt,¡± Lacey scolded, stomping her heel into the last boot.  He knew she wouldn¡¯t tell him.


    ¡°Fine,¡± he rolled his eyes at her, but he was smiling so she let it slide.


    ¡°How many groups are left?¡± he asked, scowling at the red of the room, like he could scold it into turning green.


    ¡°Only one guy,¡± she told him.


    ¡°Only one?¡± his eyes snapped toward the screens in alarm.  He tied his shoes even as he scanned the screen.


    ¡°It¡¯s not him,¡± she answered the question he¡¯d really meant to ask.


    ¡°Are you sure?¡± he tugged a shoelace a little too hard, but it was Colt of the charmed life, so it didn¡¯t break like it would have for Lacey.


    ¡°Nope.¡±


    ¡°Okay, okay,¡± Colt put his main attention back on his shoes.


    ¡°He could be the scary level 77 guy in disguise just screwing around with us after sneaking past an entire camp full of Bernard¡¯s men,¡± Lacey deadpanned.  ¡°It¡¯s a really good disguise, though, because this guy is wearing a mage¡¯s robe and casting a bunch of spells.¡±


    ¡°I said okay,¡± Colt held his hands up in surrender.


    ¡°I¡¯m just saying,¡± she shook her head at him.  It wasn¡¯t that the same thought hadn¡¯t occurred to her, but his questioning it smacked of him thinking that she was too stupid to spot something he would see.


    ¡°Do I look okay?¡± he asked again, his gaze darting around the room for something.


    ¡°Colt,¡± she simply said again.  If she answered that question, he¡¯d just keep asking it like she¡¯d have a different opinion in a few minutes.  She got up and walked over to his desk to ruffle his hair.  She reached and he ducked.


    ¡°Right, I asked that already,¡± he looked under his chair.  ¡°Have you seen my comb?  I just had it.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s on your desk,¡± Lacey tapped the damp comb.  ¡°Dripping on your dungeon.¡±


    ¡°I just looked there,¡± he complained at the comb, as he picked it up.  He ran a hand over the paper to wipe away the moisture.


    ¡°She doesn¡¯t hate you,¡± Lacey pre-empted his next question.


    ¡°How do you know?¡±


    ¡°She ran the dungeon last night and this morning and she still left coupons,¡± Lacey pointed to his screen.


    ¡°What is taking that last magic-user so long?¡± he groused, but the dungeon flashed green halfway through Colt¡¯s question.


    ¡°Shall we?¡± Lacey gestured to the elevator that hadn¡¯t moved since they¡¯d come in the day before.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt followed her into the elevator and up to the top floor.  ¡°Do I look¡­?¡±


    ¡°Colt!¡± Lacey snapped, but she was smiling.

 Chapter 2.26 – It’s All in the Body Language

    ¡°It¡¯s good to see you out and about,¡± Bernard greeting them outside the dungeon. ¡°We missed you yesterday. How are your quests progressing?¡±


    ¡°We are plugging away at it,¡± Colt answered.


    They¡¯d been particularly productive in the night but so had Bernard¡¯s people. Now that Lacey knew what to look for around the camp, there was a clearer delineation between the workers that were here to build the fort and the adventurers who were here to dungeon dive. There were so many builders that they must have outnumbered the adventurers in a 2-1 ratio. It interested Lacey because she and Colt would need that kind of workforce to build their own version of a town, and the completion of their quests was coming along.


    <table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 99.981%" border="1">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="width: 98.8563%">


    Inside/Outside Voice: Complete!


    Masters of the Hoard: 20/20: 27/100 Blurgs, 71/100 Burrugs, 25/100 Crocorats, 20/100 Droffles, 35/100 Dustapps, 5/100 Ghoffin, 4/100 Krettles, 0/100 Krowls, 0/100 Mimogs, 0/100 Peacomelos, 11/100 Poillows, 5/100 Rejects, 25/100 Slamps, 55/100 Smugs, 55/100 Snucks, 30/100 Sweepers, 0/100 Trugs, 2/100 Twoldras, 100/100 Velcrabs, 25/100 Were-Rays (12/120 hours remaining)


    Back Forty Acres: 421,190/1,000,000 (228/336 hours remaining)


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    They¡¯d finished the Inside/Outside Voice, but they hadn¡¯t been in the mood to celebrate. They¡¯d gotten a chest full of goodies for it, including a full set of the black leather armor, like the stuff that Kat wore, for each of them. Colt hadn¡¯t liked it because it reminded him of Kat, and he hadn¡¯t wanted to think about it any more than he¡¯d wanted to talk about it, much. Lacey had hung hers up in the closet and stared at it, but she had been too tired to preen, so she¡¯d left it there for the present.


    Lacey had finished the last monster the night before, but they¡¯d decided that they would summon the rest of the mobs after lunch. Until they had levels to showcase the monsters of the quest, Lacey and Colt figured that it would be just as unwise to summon those early. They¡¯d just be lounging around in the menagerie or twiddling their worker thumbs, if they had them.


    It wasn¡¯t a lack of credits that kept them from summoning and creating more mobs. The dungeon dives were filling their coffers to almost embarrassing levels. Lacey was still trying to be stingy with it though. It would likely take a lot of that to build the city out behind the dungeon. Now that Lacey had seen what Bernard could do on this side of the mountain, she was determined to do just as well, if not better, on the other side.


    ¡°How are you laying the foundations so fast?¡± Lacey asked Bernard.


    ¡°I have a few mages with stone magic that do the shaping of rocks into perfect chunks to fit the walls,¡± he waved at the fortifications. ¡°It gets them prime positions on the dungeon runs and helps with their skills, so it¡¯s cheap labor for me.¡±


    ¡°I could use some spells like that,¡± Lacey suggested.


    ¡°How is the progress coming on that goblin you had learning to write spells?¡± Bernard answered with a question.


    ¡°Slow,¡± Colt admitted. ¡°Don¡¯t get me wrong, she¡¯s smart for a goblin, but reading and writing take time. If it wasn¡¯t for the magic of the scrolls, she probably couldn¡¯t have read them well enough to get the spell.¡±


    ¡°That and she¡¯d rather be cleaning than sitting at her desk and learning,¡± Lacey put in, catching sight of Kat, who had positioned herself close enough to be approached, but not so close that she was intruding somewhere she wasn¡¯t wanted.


    ¡°If you had something interesting to trade, you could probably convince a few mages to hire on long enough to scribe a few spells,¡± Bernard suggested.


    ¡°Could we make a mage-only level?¡± Lacey wondered.


    ¡°Like a mage gauntlet,¡± Colt snapped his fingers. ¡°We could make writing a few spell scrolls a part of the gauntlet and offer them individual gauntlet passes.¡±


    ¡°If we timed it right, we could squeeze them in on floors that finish quickly,¡± Lacey bounced off Colt¡¯s idea with ease. ¡°Then we could run the arenas for the full group. They always finish early. And the mages could do their gauntlets afterward.¡±


    ¡°The gauntlet could be timed for added incentive to rush it,¡± Colt nodded.


    ¡°I begin to see how the two of you have created such good dungeons,¡± Bernard said softly. ¡°I would truly wish that you could consider giving me a tour of the dungeon, but I would only forget it on the way out.¡±


    Lacey and Colt exchanged a look. Bernard really had done a lot for them. They wouldn¡¯t promise anything now, but it was something to keep in mind for the future.


    ¡°Ah well,¡± he sighed, his smile returning to polite. ¡°Have you thought about a name for the dungeon?¡±Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    ¡°Lacey can catch you up on that,¡± Colt cast a glance toward where Kat was sitting, her shoulders getting lower as they continued to avoid her. ¡°I need to take care of something.¡±


    ¡°We were kicking around ideas like The Cipher Crucible, The Perplexity Forge, The Conundrum Engine, or we could go with something less pretentious like the Riddle Forge or the Cryptic Descent,¡± she told Bernard as they both watched Colt walk over to talk with Kat.


    ¡°And you say you aren¡¯t good with names,¡± Bernard chided her gently.


    ¡°We have our moments, but then again we¡¯ve named our Troll/Bugs Trugs, so maybe this one just meant more to us than mob names,¡± Lacey mused.


    Colt motioned to a nearby set of stumps and Kat followed him closer to the blockade wall. The wall itself had grown a full 2 feet in the time they¡¯d been gone. Some of the cheval de frise was being torn down and the wood was being processed into rough planks that were being used to form scaffolding to help build the wall. Nothing was wasted in the process as even the sawdust was being packaged into old grain sacks.


    ¡°What will you do with the sawdust?¡± Lacey asked, trying to give Colt and Kat some privacy, but not too much privacy. She wanted to see how it went to know how to deal with Colt when they were done.


    ¡°The growers use it for crop food,¡± Bernard waved to the bags. ¡°The growers will give us a discount on our next food order.¡±


    ¡°What is your kingdom like, Bernard?¡± Lacey realized that, as a noble, Bernard would likely give her the idealized version of his country, but it was something. ¡°It sounds as if you work together a lot, but what kind of governmental structure is there?¡±


    ¡°I think we have a lot of hard workers, even in the nobility,¡± he answered with a bit of humorous self-depreciation. ¡°The King and Queen are young, but they have a Council that I think is fair. The Queen is currently expecting her second child, the first still in diapers. Each village has a noble to oversee judicial matters and keep the overall working parts all cooperating. The larger the town, the higher the noble¡¯s rank. As with anywhere, we have the bad with the good, but I believe most of our citizens are at least trying to work for the betterment of the kingdom as a whole.¡±


    Colt¡¯s chin lifted in a stubborn way that didn¡¯t bode well, but Kat¡¯s crossed arms weren¡¯t much better.


    ¡°What does the King or Council think about our little dungeon out here?¡± Lacey asked Bernard.


    ¡°The King is a bit preoccupied with his firstborn not sleeping through the night, but the Council keeps him informed,¡± Bernard answered as they pretended to not watch Colt and Kat. ¡°They are excited with the newness of it, but some are more cautious.¡±


    ¡°Is that why they sent a Count all the way out here to manage it?¡± Lacey made small talk.


    ¡°It was determined that anything above a Count might scare you off of negotiations,¡± his lips quirked to the side. ¡°I volunteered, once I heard about it.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    Kat¡¯s shoulders drooped, but Colt¡¯s chin lowered too.


    ¡°My son is at that crucial age where he can either develop into a hard-working young man or get in with the wrong crowd and become more of a dilettante instead,¡± Bernard¡¯s eyes slid over to where his son rubbed oil onto his chainmail. ¡°I, and a few peers in the same situation, thought it might be best to send them out on an adventure for seasoning in the rough of things to avoid the wrong influences.¡±


    ¡°You talk like a politician,¡± Lacey chuckled at his explanation.


    ¡°That would be because I spent several years at Court during my formative years,¡± the Count explained. ¡°The King and I had our own adventures like these, but there were those at Court that did not believe such a thing was good for a King. His brother was not allowed to adventure and ended up a bit rough of nature.¡±


    ¡°I wonder if Kat¡¯s dad thinks she¡¯s falling into the wrong crowd with us,¡± Lacey pondered.


    Kat uncrossed her arms to gesture them about as she talked. Colt¡¯s brow got stern. Colt was only a few inches taller than Kat, so it wasn¡¯t like he was looming over her, but he wasn¡¯t going to put up with the redirections Kat had gone to before.


    ¡°I fear that I sympathize more with her father than the young woman,¡± Bernard glanced back at the arguing couple. ¡°While the untitled women of our society are encouraged to find professions if they wish, nobility has other standards. It is clear that she comes from wealth, if not nobility. I¡¯m sure her father merely wishes to keep her safe, and this life is not that.¡±


    ¡°With respawns, how is it really dangerous?¡± Lacey protested.


    ¡°Death is not the worst that one can find in unscrupulous company, but there is little chance of that under my watch,¡± Bernard reasoned. ¡°I suppose her father likely doesn¡¯t know that though and if I were in his shoes, I¡¯d be worried enough to at least send someone to keep track of her. I think it says something about him that he comes himself.¡±


    ¡°True,¡± Lacey admitted, mulling over the idea of her own father and what he might think of what Lacey was doing. Would he be happy that she was gainfully employed or worried for the safety of her job choice? ¡°I don¡¯t think she sees it that way.¡±


    Colt touched Kat¡¯s arm, and she flinched but then seemed to melt. It looked like she might be apologizing. If she wasn¡¯t, she was an idiot and didn¡¯t deserve him anyway.


    ¡°Friends can be protective as well,¡± Bernard nudged Lacey. ¡°Is her father any more protective of her than you are of him?¡±


    ¡°What a concept,¡± Lacey let her eyes meet Bernard¡¯s. ¡°I didn¡¯t want to like you, but you make that really really hard.¡±


    ¡°I see that I am growing on you,¡± Bernard¡¯s smile was so charming.


    ¡°Are you flirting with me?¡± Lacey teased him, thinking only to make him blush or something.


    ¡°Perhaps a bit, but only harmlessly so,¡± Bernard gave her only a slight pinkening of his ears with his laugh. ¡°My wife is not the jealous type, thank all that makes the world work, but I would not hurt her with a true dalliance.¡±


    ¡°I can respect that,¡± Lacey crossed her arms and chanced another look at the lovebirds.


    Neither of them had moved their feet, but Kat was leaning into Colt¡¯s arms for a hug that Colt was only too willing to give her. That was enough for Lacey. With a bit of conviction, Lacey turned her back to the couple and offered her arm to Bernard.


    ¡°I think there¡¯s just enough time for a tour of that barracks building that looks almost ready for a roof before I have to go back into the mountain,¡± Lacey suggested with a smile.


    ¡°I¡¯d be happy to introduce you to our mages, who are working very hard to give themselves a roof over their heads,¡± Bernard linked elbows with her, and they walked toward the barracks. ¡°I believe some of these boys are quite tired of having to sleep in tents, though I haven¡¯t the heart to tell them that the structure is meant to be twice that tall. I have resolved to tell them tomorrow.¡±

 Chapter 2.27 – Back in Business

    Colt clapped his hands in front of him and then rubbed his palms together. ¡°Back to work,¡± he grinned at her.


    ¡°But before the dungeon goes red, we should talk,¡± Lacey sat at her desk.


    ¡°Ugh, not more talking,¡± Colt rolled his eyes, but he was still smiling.


    ¡°You know that mage that was going solo?¡± Lacey picked up a pencil and twirled it in fingers.


    ¡°Don¡¯t tell me,¡± Colt closed his eyes.


    ¡°Benny didn¡¯t authorize a solo run for anybody,¡± Lacey delivered the news.


    ¡°Just, how?¡± Colt plopped down onto his seat. ¡°And he¡¯s Benny now?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s growing on me,¡± Lacey admitted.


    ¡°Unlike Kat¡¯s dad,¡± Colt¡¯s smile was gone.


    ¡°I know it¡¯s a stretch and I didn¡¯t want to believe it, but,¡± Lacey started.


    ¡°But it¡¯s just too many coincidences to ignore,¡± Colt finished for her.


    ¡°It¡¯s just got to be him,¡± Lacey said.


    ¡°He sneaked into the Benny¡¯s camp, then into the dungeon as a mage, and he¡¯s slinging spells?¡± Colt banged his head on his desk. ¡°What is this guy anyway? I can barely manage dungeon building and this guy¡¯s dual-wielding classes and juggling skills like he has Santa¡¯s bag of everybody¡¯s gifts all rolled together!¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s still level 10,¡± Lacey tried.


    ¡°Probably not anymore,¡± Colt grumped. ¡°How many levels did Kat get in her first days in the dungeon? He¡¯s probably level 20 or something already.¡±


    ¡°Probably not 20,¡± Lacey winced, knowing that his exaggerations were just born of frustration. ¡°Then again, the guy was in alone on maybe a second run and our dungeon is pretty awesome at leveling people.¡±


    The dungeon turned red, and Colt blew out a breath. ¡°Okay, okay,¡± he started. ¡°We just have to find him and throw the whole dungeon at him. Let¡¯s see what he does with 50 level 23 gossowaries!¡±


    ¡°Well,¡± Lacey took a breath, then thought better of it, letting Colt figure it out for himself.


    ¡°A magic-user, wearing a robe,¡± Colt fumbled for more information and found the problem quickly enough. ¡°Lacey, what did he look like?¡±


    ¡°A magic-user in a robe,¡± she replied unhelpfully.


    Colt stared at her blankly for a moment, his eyes hopeful. When she didn¡¯t expound on that, his head hit his desk again.


    ¡°Even if we did know what he¡¯d looked like before,¡± Lacey pointed out, ¡°that doesn¡¯t mean we¡¯d know what he looks like this time. That magic-user didn¡¯t look at all like the guy we met outside. If the magic-user was him, then the only thing we know is that he¡¯s between level 11 and 15?¡±


    ¡°Seriously?¡±


    ¡°I was talking with the magic-users out there in Benny¡¯s crew, and they said they didn¡¯t notice anyone new,¡± Lacey shrugged, having had just a little more time digesting all this crap than Colt. ¡°What we¡¯re dealing with is a very practiced assassin with the ability to change his looks enough that no one really notices that he¡¯s there at all.¡±


    ¡°We could watch for mannerisms or something,¡± Colt popped his head up with the idea and began to flip through screens. ¡°He¡¯s got to have tells. Maybe we look for a mage with unnatural dexterity, or a ¡­ or a¡­¡± he sputtered out.


    ¡°And what would we do if we caught him?¡± Lacey spread her hands.


    ¡°There are 11 groups, with 13 mages between them all,¡± Colt wasn¡¯t ready to give up yet. Lacey just didn¡¯t want to spend the next two dungeon dives wasting time scrutinizing every group for a guy that wasn¡¯t actually trying to kill them. She understood Colt¡¯s frustration, but it wasn¡¯t based in something real. It was based in something that Lacey had more experience in than he did. Helplessness.


    ¡°Who¡¯s to say he¡¯s still a mage?¡± Lacey propped her chin on her hand.


    Colt looked up, bewildered.


    ¡°I¡¯m just saying, that if I had his skills, I¡¯d have switched it up,¡± Lacey explained. ¡°And I¡¯d have studied my marks. And I¡¯d have¡­¡±


    ¡°But you¡¯re brilliant,¡± Colt frowned at her. ¡°He can¡¯t be all that and a bowl a chips.¡±


    ¡°Thanks,¡± she ended the word in a question. ¡°It¡¯s just¡­¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m just thinking that we¡¯re better off doing what we¡¯re good at,¡± Lacey tried again. Colt closed his eyes and took a long, slow breath. ¡°We could spend our time obsessing over the guy, and best-case scenario, we kill him in the dungeon, but then what? He respawns and comes right back with new tricks.¡±The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°Are you saying we do nothing and just let him get away with breaking all the rules?¡± Colt couldn¡¯t seem to see it the way Lacey did. ¡°You? Lacey? Maybe you¡¯re him and are just fucking with my head.¡±


    ¡°Colt,¡± Lacey clucked at him. ¡°I¡¯m not giving up and I don¡¯t think he¡¯s getting away with anything.¡±


    ¡°Except barging into our dungeon,¡± Colt muttered.


    ¡°And giving us experience as he tries to catch up with Kat,¡± Lacey pointed out.


    ¡°And plotting our demise!¡± Colt rubbed his forehead.


    ¡°But is he?¡± Lacey tapped the pencil on her chin, surprised to be the reasonable partner for once.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Plotting our demise?¡± Lacey took a single piece of blank paper and began to draw. ¡°I mean, if he was doing that, he could have killed us over and over again. He was in this very room, at level 77, and he didn¡¯t kill us.¡±


    ¡°But¡­¡± and Lacey could tell that Colt¡¯s sense of injustice was starting to peter out.


    ¡°And isn¡¯t this between him and Kat?¡± Lacey pulled out her trump card.


    ¡°Yeah, but,¡± he struggled to find the point.


    ¡°And I¡¯m just thinking that even if we do have to defend ourselves, you already said it yourself. We¡¯re going to have to use the dungeon, not our physical bodies.¡±


    ¡°I know I said that,¡± Colt looked to the ceiling.


    ¡°So, maybe, just maybe,¡± Lacey plucked out a fresh sheet of paper, ¡°we need to be working on that as hard as he¡¯s working on gaining levels.¡±


    ¡°That¡­ sounds¡­¡± Colt paused, staring at Lacey as she set pencil to paper. ¡°Logical.¡±


    ¡°That would be my brilliance talking there,¡± Lacey raised comic eyebrows at Colt. ¡°Benny is out there working his side of things and beefing up his defenses, which is exactly what we should be doing down here.¡±


    ¡°Benny? Really?¡± Colt hissed through his teeth in frustration.


    ¡°He¡¯s growing on me,¡± Lacey repeated. ¡°Speaking of growing, let¡¯s grow the dungeon even more.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Wow, this infatuation thing really does slow down your brain,¡± Lacey teased him with a theatrical look of confusion. ¡°You¡¯re slipping buddy. Keep up. Let¡¯s build more levels. You had more ideas when she was breaking your heart. Sheesh.¡±


    ¡°You know that I can see what you¡¯re doing here, right?¡± Colt challenged her, but she could see his eyes gaining clarity.


    ¡°Do I?¡± Lacey feigned ignorance, her attention more on scribbling some maze traps. ¡°All I know is that we need more levels. I want to level faster than Kat, or her dad. And to do that, we need those mage gauntlets you suggested. Benny¡¯s mages are riled up and ready for them as soon as we have the chance to que them up. Do you think you could scratch out that level for us or are you too busy mooning over Kat?¡±


    ¡°Mooning?!¡± Colt¡¯s back straightened as he took offense.


    ¡°Well, you aren¡¯t summoning up all those monsters we need to complete that quest,¡± Lacey looked up to point her pencil at him.


    ¡°I can¡¯t summon anything while there are groups in the dungeon,¡± Colt cocked his head to the side and eyed her out of the side of his eyes.


    ¡°Then maybe you should be drawing up those gauntlets now, so we can have 4 levels ready to drop into the pedestal by the time the dungeon clears,¡± Lacey bent back to her trap designs. Now that they¡¯d made mimic-like trap mechanisms, Lacey was ready to line every hallway between their control room and the lowest dungeon with enough animated traps to choke a level 77 assassin. ¡°We¡¯re going to be pushing it to summon all those mobs for the quest before we go to bed and then there¡¯s housing for them and making introductions. It¡¯s going to be a shit show if we aren¡¯t fully prepped.¡±


    ¡°Even knowing what you¡¯re doing doesn¡¯t help me not fall for it,¡± Colt wondered. ¡°How do you do that?¡±


    ¡°I learned it from you,¡± Lacey looked up again, this time to smile.


    ¡°I was a good teacher,¡± he shook his head and bent over his own set of graph paper. ¡°Four new gauntlets coming right up.¡±


    ¡°Bout time,¡± Lacey heard him chuckle and slid the scribbled mess in front of her to the side. Surreptitiously, she slid out another piece of paper and began a real design. She might have been able to cajole Colt back into work even in his worst moods, it still took all her attention to do it, not that she¡¯d let him know that. ¡°Can you handle the planning for the housing and such or do you need me to do that so you can watch your girlfriend?¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t push it,¡± he responded, but it was half-hearted, his attention on the new gauntlets. ¡°I still want to work on the haunted house design too.¡±


    Lacey shuddered. Now that they didn¡¯t need new monsters, they had decided to pull on their extensive knowledge of undead baddies they¡¯d gleaned from multiple binging sessions of the Winchesters¡¯ greatest hits. His graveyard idea wasn¡¯t quite the weeping angels, but it was close enough that Lacey didn¡¯t want to visit the level anytime soon. The statues on the tombstones all housed revenant-like ghosts. When an adventurer walked over a grave, the ghost would awaken and attempt to possess party members that would then turn on their cohorts.


    Lacey let Colt channel his angst about Kat¡¯s dad into his haunted house design for a few hours before she goaded him into the gauntlets by threatening to take them over. He grumbled, but his brow was creased in concentration as he detailed notes for the trials in the margins of the graph paper. Quests were new to them both, but they hoped to be able to drop those in as easily as they did new monsters. Lacey had 5 new trap hallways complete with hundreds of mimic traps. She checked the system cost and was satisfied with the layout.


    Tired of doodling, Lacey began to dive into menus. They might be grayed out while the dungeon was active, but she could still research the options. They¡¯d been so intensely focused on the quests and dropping additions into the dungeon that Lacey hadn¡¯t had a chance to go through their newest options in the menus. They¡¯d leveled several times in both actual levels and in evolutionary trees.


    The goblin excavations not only provided plenty of soil and rock for Benny¡¯s projects, but also new gems and minerals that had opened up new resources like sapphires and platinum. Goblins were working on jewelry for the treasure chests, but that had opened up new crafting trees like smelting and sculptures. Spunks were always tinkering on new gear designs, but their efforts were rewarded with surprising new food options from a water wheel that could grind the grains that Benny gave them. Weaving goblins had advanced to the point of making elaborate rugs on the Spunk¡¯s looms and Lacey was so glad that the two races were getting along so well.


    But more surprising things were happening out there in their dungeon. The worms advanced to a point that a new breed could be summoned that could spin silk. New goblin breeds allowed for specializations in crafting, administration, or fighting. Somehow a few Gossowaries had become domesticated to the point that the Spunks were riding them, with the help of the Rejects, who had an uncanny hand at turning wild creatures into tamer ones that could be used for farming or herding. Lacey made a list of projects and summons for when the dungeon went green tonight, then spent an hour prioritizing.

 Chapter 2.28 – Commuting Traffic

    ¡°That same lone adventurer is going through the arena,¡± Colt tapped his screen.


    ¡°Level 12 Assassin,¡± the pedestal informed them. He might look like a mage, but the pedestal knew the difference.


    ¡°I say we use a coupon to close the dungeon,¡± Lacey raised her brows. ¡°Not because I think he¡¯s a threat, but because we don¡¯t have time for his shit. We have summoning to get done before that quest times out and I¡¯m not chancing failing it on account of a jerk who shouldn¡¯t be in here to begin with.¡±


    ¡°He was part of the original group to go through, but when they all exited, he turned around and came back in,¡± Colt riffled through their treasure chest, where they kept their coupons filed away. ¡°He thinks he¡¯s being slick, but he doesn¡¯t realize that the pedestal doesn¡¯t lie.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯d only need a 12-hour coupon,¡± Lacey¡¯s hoarder heart cringed at the thought of using one of their precious coupons, but it was worth it. They needed the time and the uninterrupted sleep once they got all their summons done.


    ¡°Got it,¡± Colt held up a slip of paper. ¡°And before you ask, we have more of these than you might think. Thanks to the guild following the rules, we haven¡¯t had to use any, but they¡¯ve been dropping in the forest, so Bernard¡¯s guys have been using them as entry fees.¡±


    ¡°Makes sense,¡± Lacey felt herself relax a bit at that. ¡°I¡¯m dying to see how they work when someone is inside the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°Some part of me is hoping he gets tossed out on his ass,¡± Colt winked at Lacey as he dropped the slip of paper on the pedestal.


    ¡°Closure coupon accepted,¡± the pedestal announced, and Lacey found that she was holding her breath. ¡°One adventurer left in dungeon. Please choose method of expulsion.¡±


    ¡°What are our options?¡± Lacey asked.


    ¡°Oh, this is awesome,¡± Colt rubbed his palms together then read off the pedestal. ¡°Notify parties and give time limit for departure. Teleport all parties to nearest exit. Immediate expulsion with prejudice.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m feeling prejudiced, aren¡¯t you?¡± Lacey flipped her screen at her desk to watch and follow Kat¡¯s dad. She didn¡¯t want to miss this.


    ¡°I¡¯m feeling it, for sure,¡± Colt quipped, hitting the choice. ¡°Though my mother will be appalled.¡±


    One moment the guy was working his way through a trap and the next he was gone. It was a bit anticlimactic. Lacey looked at Colt and he looked back at her. The dungeon turned green.


    ¡°That was underwhelming,¡± Colt huffed.


    ¡°I¡¯m imagining he was shot out of the dungeon like being shot out of a canon,¡± Lacey let her eyes close for a moment.


    ¡°That¡¯ll have to do,¡± Colt scowled at the screens.


    ¡°We have summoning to do.¡± The countdown for the closure appeared at the corner of Lacey¡¯s vision. ¡°I want to get some sleep tonight.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll sleep better knowing he can¡¯t sneak back in during the night,¡± Colt nodded at her and picked up the stack of drawings they¡¯d made for the day.


    ¡°Me too,¡± Lacey admitted, sliding through screens to rearrange levels, rooms, and whole floors of both the active dungeon and the residential areas.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to the residentials you just slid into place,¡± Colt ducked to grab a backpack on his way out of the control room. ¡°It¡¯ll be quicker if I summon them from the rooms they belong in.¡±


    ¡°If you see Ginger on the way, send her up here,¡± Lacey told him. Ginger was often running for the stairs as soon as the dungeon turned green, but they didn¡¯t blame her. A whole six hours was a long time for the little goblin to spend sitting at a desk, even if they did bribe her with energy bars. ¡°I want her help in directing a new breed of goblins. I figured I¡¯d summon a few of each just to see what we can do to enhance the skills.¡±


    ¡°Sure,¡± Colt waved at her, his back already disappearing into their elevator.


    Lacey had enough to do in rearranging their levels. The first 6 entrances were still going to have their arenas for levels 5-20, not only because they were good cheap options for the low levels, but also because they helped to feed excess leveled-up beetles and big cats into the upper levels. Each of the arenas were layered with Mage Gauntlets. They¡¯d found that to make the levels run quickly, they would accept a group of 5 mages, who would then split up and compete against each other for bragging rights and prize chests. This way, each level could run 5 mages through at a time.


    After that, Lacey queued up 2 Aztec Tombs, 2 Temple Runs, and 2 different versions of The Zoo, 2 West Side Story levels, 2 Snow White levels, and 2 of the newest Haunted House levels. That made 6 total arenas and 6 gauntlets, taking up 6 of the existing entrances. The Temple Runs each used 2 entrances, and that would have used up their existing entrances except that Lacey had agreed to splurge to buy an extra 10 entrances.


    This meant that they were expanding their entrances to a total of 20 of them, but that wasn¡¯t all. They were also expanding the residential area to almost twice its previous size. The entire residential area, along with the control room was being barricaded behind what Lacey was calling the Spunk levels. Each of the 12 Spunk levels consisted of no less than 50 traps all woven around in a massive maze that forced an intruder to pass each and every one of them. At least half of those traps were alive.Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.


    ¡°Let¡¯s see him get through that batch of traps in the time limit,¡± Lacey muttered to herself.


    The mazes themselves were almost random in their layout. There weren¡¯t any puzzles at all. They weren¡¯t trying to keep out NPCs who could be fooled by the same puzzle several times. Until they unlocked some type of randomizing maze creation mechanism, this was the best Lacey could do to stall a player from reaching the heart of the dungeon. If 600 traps didn¡¯t slow them down enough, the next fifteen levels of residential areas could do it. Each of the races had their own methods of blocking intruders, but that was enhanced by caverns with murder holes in the ceiling, rope bridges that could be cut, and deep chasms full of stalagmites.


    The worst of it was how long it would take a single goblin to traverse the whole thing. Lacey had done the best she could by creating a pulley-driven elevator shaft that disengaged from the system during operational hours. It only ran through the residential areas, but until they knew a better way to repel unwelcome invaders, it would have to do. Bypassing the Spunk levels could only be done via Georges, and only the top Spunks were equipped with them. Spunks would only allow dungeon creatures through the shortcuts and even then, only when the dungeon was green.


    The whole thing was cumbersome, but Lacey and Colt had decided to try it out and see if their dungeon creatures could adapt to it. Once Lacey was done with the expansion, she moved the overflow monsters down into the stable areas and habitats, a chore that would have to be done manually by Lacey and Colt every day.


    ¡°Ginger here.¡± Lacey nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound. It had been so quiet, and she¡¯d been so focused that she hadn¡¯t noticed Ginger come in.


    ¡°I wanted to ask you about the upgrades we just got access to,¡± Lacey told Ginger, noting that Ginger was stuck in a half yawn. ¡°It shouldn¡¯t take long. Are you too tired? I could ask Eve or Adam.¡±


    ¡°Ginger here,¡± Ginger repeated.


    ¡°There are new upgrades for goblins,¡± Lacey started to explain, pointing at the pedestal as if Ginger could read it.


    Ginger gave Lacey a sullen look.


    ¡°I mean, new goblins that we summon can have specific skills,¡± Lacey flipped into some pictures that didn¡¯t illustrate it all that well. ¡°Like new goblins could automatically be good at crafting, administration, or fighting. Would something like that interest you?¡±


    ¡°Ginger already good at bossing,¡± Ginger shook her head at Lacey.


    ¡°As soon as Colt is done summoning, we should get the ability to upgrade current goblins,¡± Lacey tried again. ¡°Would you maybe like to see what kind of upgrade you could get?¡±


    ¡°Give Ginger able to read and write?¡± Ginger poked a finger at the pedestal.


    ¡°I¡¯ll look, but Ginger are you okay?¡± Lacey asked.


    ¡°Ginger tired,¡± she responded on a sigh. ¡°Changes in caves give Ginger head pain.¡±


    ¡°Like real pain?¡±


    ¡°Rooms move,¡± Ginger waved her green hands around. ¡°Whole levels move. Ginger okay with dungeon moving, but home caves harder. Get lost two times on way here.¡±


    ¡°I could have routed you here faster,¡± Lacey felt bad for not having offered. ¡°I can get you to any cave if you need.¡±


    ¡°Ginger sleep here, so here good,¡± Ginger pointed at the bunk beds.


    ¡°Right,¡± Lacey watched Ginger trudge over to the beds.


    There had to be a better way, but Lacey didn¡¯t know one yet. She slid through menus of potential upgrades until she found something interesting. In the store, they almost had access to stable teleport pads. To unlock the teleport pads, they had to unlock Tier III, whatever that was. Once they did that, they¡¯d have access to dungeon-only spells that would enhance their dungeon design capabilities.


    ¡°Pedestal, what tier are we right now?¡± Lacey asked the pedestal, Ginger¡¯s light snores playing background music to her queries.


    ¡°The dungeon is currently at Tier II, a stage that was automatically achieved at the end of the tutorial,¡± the pedestal explained, not that Lacey felt like that told her anything.


    ¡°Where are the tier help files in this mess?¡± Lacey mumbled to herself.


    She¡¯d only found the information about tiers by following the rabbit holes of links that went from wanting to solve the transportation problems all the way down to Tiers. It was a lot like finding a word on a WIKI that you didn¡¯t understand and clicking on the link to that page, only to find a dozen more words that didn¡¯t make sense either. By the time you looked up several hours later, you¡¯d made your way from a frosting recipe to an explanation of vampire cults in Santa Barbara. Lacey pulled up the screen of definitions.


    <table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 99.981%" border="1">


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    Tier I ¨C Tutorial ¨C So, you think you want to be a dungeon master? Fine, start here. This is where we spoon feed you hundreds of silly quests that eventually lead you to be able to use your control systems. Summon monsters, set up habitats, and basically fiddle around with options that are mostly harmless.


    Tier II ¨C Training ¨C Now that you know how to navigate the dungeon controls, let¡¯s try a few parameters to expand your dungeon enough for visitors. In this stage of dungeon building, you¡¯ll have access to more of the physical controls that allow you to customize your dungeon. You¡¯ll need to build more levels, reach the surface, expand your entrances, and fill that dungeon with waves of monsters that can protect your home base from invasion.


    Tier III ¨C Magic ¨C Okay, so maybe you can build a basic dungeon, but can you manage your resources to fill it with the magical tools necessary to manage all that space? In this stage, you¡¯ll need to balance mana, health, and spells in such a way that you can double the size of your dungeon without toppling it on top of yourself. You¡¯ll be blessed with a dungeon character sheet, a spell list to choose from, and solutions to all your transportation problems.


    Tier IV ¨C The information on this tier is locked until you can manage previous levels.


    Tier V ¨C The information on this tier is locked until you can manage previous levels.


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    </tbody>


    </table>


    ¡°Huh,¡± Lacey fiddled with a pencil. ¡°How do we get to Tier III?¡±


    <table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 99.981%" border="1">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="width: 98.8563%">Tier III Requirements: 20 Entrances, 50 Unique Dungeon Levels, Dungeon Progress Level 40, 100 Monster Types, 100 Dungeon Incursions Repelled, 5,000 Dungeon Denizens, and 50 Unique Monster Types.</td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    ¡°But pedestal, I just made the 20 entrances, and you didn¡¯t say a thing,¡± Lacey argued with the text on her screen.


    ¡°Tier II consists of a combined impetus of both quests and Tier goals in an effort to induct candidates slowly into the system. As the dungeon masters were focused mainly on quests, the Tier goal notifications have been suppressed. Would you like to turn on Tier goal notifications and rewards?¡±


    ¡°No!¡± Colt answered for her, and she turned to see him walking back into the room.

 Chapter 2.29 – Tiering Up

    ¡°What the hell, Colt?¡± Lacey hissed out, trying not to wake Ginger. ¡°You knew about Tiers?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he answered, lowering his voice as he noticed Lacey¡¯s pointed glance at where Ginger was still snort-snoring on the bunk bed. ¡°I was the one doing all the research on that stuff, so of course I knew about Tiers, but when we cleared the tutorial, we got all those quests in our dmail and the rewards for the quests were more personalized than the goal rewards.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not complaining about the Back-40 quest, but it might have been nice to know that we had a path to magic for the dungeon,¡± Lacey grumped, but she wasn¡¯t too upset. Colt had been the one to do all the research into the dungeon system while she¡¯d been busy scribbling.


    ¡°The quests were working, and I kept meaning to catch you up on that stuff, but we were distracted a lot,¡± Colt blew out a breath. ¡°Besides, new information filters out slowly. If you found something about magic stuff, that was probably masked off when I was doing research on it.¡±


    ¡°That makes sense,¡± Lacey let him off the hook. ¡°I guess.¡± Mostly off the hook.


    ¡°It was a crap shoot, but the quests have timers and bigger, more personalized rewards,¡± Colt dragged his chair over to her desk and sat next to her to scroll through a few screens. ¡°If you were to turn off quests now, we¡¯d lose out on the rewards just when we were about to complete them. Once we complete these, we¡¯ll be able to accept most of the rest of the quests. Even if they do have tight time limits, we¡¯re close enough to completing them that it should be easy.¡±


    Lacey looked over the screens he flipped through, but it was like reading tax return instructions. That and he was scrolling too fast for her to get more than half a sentence at a time.


    ¡°Oh, hey,¡± Colt paused on a screen. ¡°We didn¡¯t have access to this before. The system blocks out most of the spoilers for future options, but once you get kind of close to it, the system opens up some sneak peeks.¡±


    ¡°Is that a list of spells?¡± Lacey perked up.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt answered with the obvious, his eyes skimming over the descriptions. ¡°Invulnerability?¡±


    ¡°Stop scrolling so fast,¡± Lacey complained, batting at him to back away from her monitor. ¡°Go look at it on your own screens!¡±


    <table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 99.981%" border="1">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="width: 98.8563%">


    Tier III Spells List (sample preview):


    Summon Monster: Use mana to summon a creature from your dungeon¡¯s library (mana cost dependent on monster level).


    Summon a Component: Use mana to summon components from as small as a cog for a trap to as large as a whole level from your template library (mana cost dependent on component complexity).


    Name a Monster: Use mana to change a summoned monster into a dungeon denizen (dungeon denizens can be resurrected with a resurrection spell).


    Resurrect Dungeon Denizen: Use mana to bring a fallen dungeon denizen back to life (mana cost dependent on level of denizen).


    Time Warp: Use mana to cause a small portion of your dungeon residential areas to speed up so that they experience time more quickly. Such time warps can greatly decrease the time needed to level up, breed, and age resident populations (mana cost dependent on number of monsters effected by warp).


    Limited Personal Invulnerability: Become invulnerable to all magical and non-magical attacks. Time of invulnerability is limited by current number of unique dungeon levels. Spell can only be cast from the control room of the dungeon or within a few feet of the dungeon entrance.


    Summon Teleportation Pad: Use mana to create a teleportation portal that can be programmed to allow only certain types of creatures to pass. Two pads are necessary for transport.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    There were more, but they were blotted out. The teleportation spell is what had led her to the Tier explanations. Some of the other spells were Magic Contract Creation, and a bunch of imbuing options that didn¡¯t make sense, especially when their descriptions were redacted like they were in a spy movie.


    ¡°How does it always seem to show us just what we want next?¡± Lacey tapped her screen.


    ¡°I¡¯m thinking it''s monitoring us and using our needs to incentivize the stuff it reveals of what¡¯s coming,¡± Colt shook his head. ¡°And there are a lot of spells, but nothing that says how we¡¯d earn them or how many we could choose.¡±


    ¡°Maybe opening the third tier is what would allow us to use the spell scrolls that Ginger uses,¡± Lacey pondered the idea out loud.Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t count on it,¡± Colt looked up. ¡°Pedestal, can you post a chart that shows our progress on the goals for Tier III?¡±


    The system projected a small box onto the wall.


    <table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 99.981%" border="1">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="width: 98.8563%">Tier III Requirements: 20/20 Entrances, 10/50 Unique Dungeon Levels, 35/40 Dungeon Progress Level, 49/100 Monster Types, 100/100 Dungeon Incursions Repelled, 5,000/5,000 Dungeon Denizens, and 20/20 Unique Monster Types.</td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    ¡°We only need another 5 levels and 40 more floors of the dungeon,¡± Colt gave a low whistle, causing Ginger to stir slightly. ¡°That and another 51 monster types.¡±


    ¡°Only?¡± Lacey felt like it was asking a lot.


    ¡°But the monster types don¡¯t have to be unique,¡± Colt pointed out. ¡°It¡¯s not just counting our weird ones, but also the horse and chicken and stuff. We can do normal mobs too.¡±


    ¡°Colt,¡± Lacey glared at him, not that he¡¯d made the rules. ¡°We need 40 more floors! That one¡¯s not counting the repeated floors. It wants new stuff.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but think about it,¡± Colt went on. ¡°We were already planning distinct versions of the Gauntlet for each of the main classes and it¡¯s counting the Zoo twice. I think that¡¯s because of the modularity of it. We changed out whole sections to make the duplicate levels, so it counts each one as unique.¡±


    Lacey grumbled under her breath, but she was encouraged that they¡¯d far surpassed some of the requirements.


    ¡°We¡¯ll focus on floors while the quest finishes for the Back-40,¡± Colt suggested. ¡°We¡¯ll brainstorm. It¡¯ll be fun.¡±


    ¡°In the morning,¡± Lacey pushed back from her desk. ¡°I¡¯m beat.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you want to complete the Summoning Quest?¡± Colt said in a teasing tone.


    ¡°You haven¡¯t finished it yet?¡± Lacey¡¯s eyes got wide. ¡°We didn¡¯t have much time!¡±


    ¡°Relax,¡± Colt stood, his chair scraping behind him. ¡°I saved one just so that we¡¯d get the chest together!¡±


    ¡°Which one?¡± Lacey looked at him suspiciously. There were 23 minutes left on the clock for the quest.


    ¡°Just a little Ghoffin,¡± his voice lilted tauntingly on the words. A Ghoffin was a cross between a ghost and a griffon and they¡¯d turned out worse than Lacey had imagined. It was the main reason she didn¡¯t want Colt drawing any more minions.


    ¡°I wish you¡¯d never drawn that thing,¡± Lacey backed away. ¡°And if Ginger finds one of those things in our rooms, she¡¯ll kill you. She might be able to do it now, too.¡±


    Colt wiggled his fingers at her and tapped his screen to do the summoning. He did not summon a Ghoffin. He summoned a Crocorat. They¡¯d turned out so much smaller than Lacey had intended, especially at level one as this one was. It was closer in size to a rat than a crocodile. The one Colt had summoned into his hand gave a large yawn that was more cute than Lacey wanted to admit.


    ¡°Masters of the Hoard Quest Complete!¡± the pedestal announced with a bit of fanfare.


    ¡°That was not supposed to be cute,¡± Lacey almost cooed at the very small crocodile that could both twitch its whiskers and snap off a finger with its toothy snout. The tail was long and ratlike except for the barbs on it.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry,¡± Colt pet the tiny monster. ¡°This is just a baby, but the bigger ones are about the length of the bunk bed.¡±


    A treasure chest materialized into the middle of their dining table.


    ¡°I¡¯m thinking of keeping this guy as a pet,¡± Colt pretended to consider the idea seriously. At least Lacey hoped he was pretending.


    ¡°Spark will eat him,¡± Lacey warned Colt, who flinched back in mock horror, covering what could have been where the monster¡¯s ears would be.


    ¡°Perish the thought,¡± he scolded at Lacey. She just chuckled at his antics. They both made their way to the chest.


    ¡°Wait, does this mean we have access to monster upgrades now?¡± Lacey turned back to her desk.


    ¡°Oh, no you don¡¯t,¡± Colt grabbed her elbow and steered her to the chest. ¡°The quest is done, the day is done, and you and I have appointments with our beds.¡±


    ¡°You were going to spend another hour looting the chest anyway,¡± Lacey looked longingly at her desk, even though she wanted to go to bed as badly as he did.


    ¡°Not an hour, but we didn¡¯t get a chance to celebrate the other chest,¡± he complained. ¡°I¡¯m hoping for a pizza or two.¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s hope the system is listening,¡± Lacey let herself be pulled to the chest.


    ¡°Or hot dogs,¡± Colt¡¯s stomach growled in agreement. ¡°Dirt Dogs, the American version with the potato chips sprinkled on top.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s gross, Colt,¡± Lacey lifted the lid. ¡°The last time you had one of those, you had breath that could be used as a poison cloud down here.¡±


    ¡°We have toothpaste and almost 12 hours for it to wear off before I see Kat again,¡± Colt wiggled his eyebrows at her.


    ¡°12 hours to ferment, you mean,¡± Lacey shook her finger at him.


    The chest held a few stacks of notebooks, lined, grid, and blank pages each in neat rows. It reflected what Lacey and Colt used the most. It was the bag of burgers that Colt snatched up like a kid at Christmas. He stuck his nose into the bag and held it there for a good long sniff.


    ¡°Is that White Castle?¡± Lacey¡¯s lip curled up.


    ¡°Yes¡­.¡± Colt answered in a long, delighted sigh. ¡°Want some?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Lacey wasn¡¯t hungry anyway. Instead, she popped the top up on a shoebox that held a pair of high-end sneakers that would have broken the bank in their old life. A bag of dum dum suckers slid off the top as she tilted it.


    ¡°There¡¯s another bag,¡± he said, with a crinkle of a brown paper bag. ¡°Looks like French fries and maybe a chocolate shake.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t tease me,¡± Lacey dropped the lid back on Colt¡¯s new sneakers and grabbed the brown bag like a starving, rabid dog. So much for not being hungry. ¡°Those shoes are yours, for sure.¡±


    ¡°No way,¡± he stuffed a whole mini-burger in his mouth and wiped his hands on his jeans before ripping off the top of the box. ¡°Oh, those are pretty.¡±


    ¡°They are neon,¡± Lacey scoffed, flicking the lid of her milkshake off the carboard cup. With a contented sigh, she dipped a warm, salty, crunchy fry deep into the frosty chocolate and put it in her mouth.


    ¡°And you called me gross?¡± Colt pointedly did not watch Lacey take a huge bite of her dinner. He popped the top off of another shoebox to reveal a pair of sneakers her size. They, at least, had the decency to be a solid black and not the blindingly neon color of Colt¡¯s shoes.


    An hour later, both Colt and Lacey were adding their own sleep sounds to the ambience of the control room. The trail of wrappers that led to each of their beds said more for their tiredness and less of their disregard for Ginger¡¯s inevitable scolding looks. At the bottom of the stack of notepads had been two paperbacks. The authors were ones that both Colt and Lacey liked, but Lacey hadn¡¯t even gotten to the second chapter before she¡¯d fallen asleep. The book dropped from her hand to the floor, not even Spark stirring from the light thump it made.

 Chapter 2.30 – Sparking the Imagination

    ¡°It wasn¡¯t Spark, and you know it,¡± Lacey complained to Colt as they waited for the last group to exit the dungeon. ¡°You aren¡¯t really going to keep it as a pet, are you?¡±


    She was referring to the crocorat that Colt had just released onto the floor of their control room the night before. It had gotten to her book in the middle of the night. The pages had been half-shredded by the time she¡¯d woken. Ginger had found the mess before Lacey could protest. It had been hit with a clean spell instead of a mend one. The book was now gone. Lacey hated the feeling of unfinished plotlines that could have been the best book she¡¯d ever read. Colt had offered her his book, but it was the third in a series that he¡¯d read but she hadn¡¯t started.


    ¡°I don¡¯t see the single mage anywhere,¡± Colt tried to avoid the subject.


    ¡°Great, but if it had been Spark, there would have been singed edges to the pages,¡± Lacey wasn¡¯t to be distracted.


    ¡°Spark probably ate the poor thing anyway,¡± Colt flipped screens between Kat¡¯s run and the last group. They were the only ones left and were both making their way to the exits. They¡¯d kept an eye out for the mage, but no solo adventurers had sneaked in this time. ¡°I can¡¯t find him.¡±


    ¡°That or it tried to take on Ginger this morning,¡± Lacey mumbled around a dum dum sucker stuck in her cheek. ¡°Spark doesn¡¯t have crocodile or rat breath, so it wasn¡¯t her.¡±


    Colt gave her the arced eyebrow look but otherwise kept silent. They¡¯d spent the morning coming up with ideas for new levels for the dungeon. They had a new whiteboard full of ideas. The Hall of Doors was almost fleshed out completely. The adventuring party would have the quest to open exactly five doors. Each door could only be entered by a single adventurer and only once. It was five solo fights with not much more than a riddle on the door that would help them make a decision about who would go into each room. Behind each door was a copy of the habitat of one of their dungeon denizens. If the adventurer cleared the room, the next adventurer could choose the next door. If they all cleared their individual doors, then they completed the level.


    Another, the Mac and Cheese Maze was less of a full concept and more of a hint of one. Elbow-macaroni-shaped tunnels intercepted in a 3d maze inverted dome filled with slimes and molds. Colt had decided that he was going to try to drop a 3d model using actual mac and cheese pasta and see what the pedestal did with it. Lacey was pretty sure that it would just be a mess. Maybe it was an excuse to get some mac and cheese that he liked.


    Lacey was pulling a lot on her favorite Grimm stories like Bluebeard or Rumpelstiltskin. Colt was more random with things like The Floor is Lava and Shrinky Dinks, which was a level where the adventurers would appear to have been shrunk down into barbie-sized folks navigating an Elmira¡¯s dollhouse setting. She¡¯d vetoed his idea of using a Let¡¯s Make a Deal format. He¡¯d vetoed her idea of finding a way to use The Girl Who Trod on Loaf. They¡¯d combined his idea of simulating a sensory depravation tank and her idea of using the See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil Monkeys for a level and called it the 3 Monkeys.


    It had been a productive morning all around. On top of the idea session, they¡¯d each churned out a single floor that they were ready to drop in as soon as the dungeon turned green. Lacey might have managed more than one except that she¡¯d spent some time looking over the rest of the quests that they still had stacked up in their dmail. Since they were just waiting on the Back-40 to finish up on its own, they could take on a few more. The quests had turned out to be pushing for the exact things that would help them Tier up. The difference was that the quests included treasure chests that held treats.


    ¡°I¡¯ve heard of crocodile tears, but never crocodile breath,¡± Colt teased her about her choice of words. ¡°I think you¡¯re just making that up. I¡¯ll buy you a new book.¡±


    ¡°When?¡± Lacey demanded, shaking her now-empty sucker stick at Colt. She took out another sucker and unwrapped it, the newest wrapper sailing halfway to the garbage before falling far short.


    ¡°The next time we go home for Sunday brunch,¡± Colt promised, taking a pen from behind his ear and making a new note in the margins of his newest floor level.


    ¡°If we keep taking timed quests, we won¡¯t have time for Sunday brunch until we hit the next Tier and then we¡¯ll be embroiled in the next challenge or crisis,¡± Lacey popped a sucker out of her mouth to say.


    ¡°Do you think they know that we work for food?¡± Colt tried another distracting topic.


    Lacey glared at her lollipop for a moment, then shook her head. ¡°I think they just know that sugar is a good motivator for people like us.¡±


    Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.


    ¡°How are we not fat?¡± Colt frowned at his waistline, but it hadn¡¯t changed.


    ¡°You look fine,¡± Lacey said and stuck the lollipop back in with a glare at him.


    The dungeon turned green, saving Lacey from more of that nonsense. They dropped in their stack of papers on their way to the surface via elevator. Colt was off with Kat so quickly that Lacey barely got a wave from the girl before they were off on a walk near the forest. That left Lacey with Benny again to take care of business. Lacey rolled her eyes at the couple¡¯s retreating backs.


    ¡°We did see a mage expelled from the dungeon,¡± Benny replied when asked about his side of the ejection of the lone mage. ¡°We thought no one was left inside. Then I saw a flash of red robes as he flew out of the fourth entrance. At first, I thought we¡¯d been attacked from behind, but once we questioned him, it was clear that he was somewhere he didn¡¯t belong.¡±


    ¡°He flew out of the entrance?¡± Lacey chuckled, letting Bernard lead her in a slow walk around the perimeter of the growing walls. They were up to Lacey¡¯s hip.


    ¡°At least 10 feet in the air when I drew my sword,¡± Benard smiled and mimed the arc with his hand. ¡°We expelled him from camp. He won¡¯t be allowed back in.¡±


    Lacey spent a few minutes explaining to Bernard what they thought of who the lone mage was as they walked. The roof was being put on the barracks using a pulley system and clay tiles. The tiles were made of clay that was being baked solid by mages casting fireball carefully over the tops of a whole yard full of them.


    ¡°I¡¯ve half a mind to expel all the mages from the site, but that would put us far behind on the building construction,¡± Bernard tsked, his brows furrowed. ¡°Instead, I shall expel only the mages between the levels of 10 and 13. There are only 3 of them. We can spare them. The issue I see with that is that you have opened up enough Mage Gauntlets for 30 mages and I can¡¯t fill that even with those 3 mages.¡±


    ¡°I hadn¡¯t thought you¡¯d ever lack in mages,¡± Lacey joked gently. ¡°It feels unfair to send them away just because Dom is their level.¡±


    ¡°He is likely between 12 and 13 at this point, but it is better to not take chances,¡± Bernard focused on the distance until he found a person to wave over.


    ¡°When we saw him in the dungeon, he was already level 12, and that was yesterday, when we ejected him,¡± Lacey reported as a young squire darted up.


    ¡°It isn¡¯t likely he¡¯d lose levels, so I could satisfy myself with just 2 mages,¡± Benard gave an order to the squire to fetch his second-in-command. ¡°They are slackers anyway. If they¡¯d been working as hard as they should, they would be higher level with all the work around camp. I¡¯ve been looking for an excuse to get rid of Humphrey¡¯s boy anyway, so I¡¯ll send the level 10 as well.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m happy to provide an excuse if you want it,¡± Lacey smiled. ¡°If you see any more folks go sailing out of the dungeon, you know what to do.¡±


    ¡°Indeed,¡± Benny¡¯s lips twitched with mirth.


    ¡°We¡¯ve been thinking about adding more gauntlets, but if you don¡¯t need so many of them, we could pull back.¡±


    ¡°I would rather send for more mages, at the very least, if you don¡¯t mind,¡± Benny suggested. ¡°It will take a few weeks, but it would be well worth it. The level and skill gains are well worth the time spent traveling out here.¡±


    ¡°We could always repurpose the Gauntlets we have for other classes,¡± Lacey turned the concept to where she and Colt had decided to go anyway. They only got credit for unique levels. Changing just a few aspects of a Gauntlet to allow for a different class was easier than creating a whole new themed level. ¡°I could easily modify half of the Gauntlets we currently have into Rogue challenges by morning. I have some ideas for healers and fighters, but maybe you could give me some ideas for a bard Gauntlet?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯ve only a handful of bards in camp,¡± Benny beamed, his mouth saying one thing and his ego wanting another. ¡°It would hardly be worth all that.¡±


    They spent the rest of their lunch hour tossing around ideas for Gauntlets for all the classes in camp. Lacey sat atop the waist-high outer wall enjoying the spring weather as much as the ideas. Halfway through, they were interrupted politely by a man only slightly younger than Bernard. Bernard stipulated orders to have one of the men head back to Hamburg to fetch more adventurers. With 20 entrances where there had only been a few before, it only made sense to bring out more groups.


    It hit Lacey that they¡¯d come a long way in a very short time. While it seemed like they were behind and racing to keep ahead of the next disaster, they really had done a lot in the few weeks that she and Colt had been building up the dungeon. It was easier to see Bernard¡¯s budding settlement as a feat of engineering than it was to acknowledge that she and Colt had done just as well in very little time.


    ¡°I hate to sound like a broken record, but it would be easier to recruit a new set of adventurers if we had a catchy title for the dungeon,¡± Bernard turned back to Lacey, his aide jogging back toward the main tents to relay his orders.


    ¡°Colt is campaigning for the A-mazing Descent, but I¡¯m still pushing other ideas,¡± Lacey quipped. At Bernard¡¯s blank look, she explained further, ¡°Because most of our levels have some sort of maze in them?¡±


    ¡°Ah,¡± Benny winced in sympathy. Yes, the man was growing on her. ¡°We can wait for a name that befits both your ideals.¡±


    ¡°They must have a class on diplomatic wording,¡± Lacey shook her head. Colt and Kat were returning from their own disappearing act, faces flushed. Lacey didn¡¯t want to know.


    ¡°Several,¡± Benny¡¯s lips twitched in amusement again. ¡°Extra for bards.¡±


    ¡°Thanks, Benny,¡± Lacey hopped down from the wall to meet up with Colt for the quick walk back to the dungeon entrance. ¡°See you tomorrow.¡±


    She left Benny with an indulgent smile on his lips and Kat at his side. She didn¡¯t tease Colt about his red cheeks or the fact that his eyes were totally obsessed with the girl he was leaving outside the dungeon. There was time enough to refocus him once he was back inside. With all his classes in diplomacy, Bernard probably didn¡¯t tease Kat either. It was a shame. There was just so much fuel for the ribbing, it was practically littered across the ground in their wake.

 Chapter 2.31 – Fast Forward Grind

    ¡°The Back Forty Acres ¨C Part 1 Quest Complete!¡±


    The treasure chest materialized in the middle of a dungeon dive, giving Lacey and Colt a break from the monotony of the work week.  Opening up all those new levels had sped it up so much that they¡¯d beaten the clock by days.  It was hard to believe that they¡¯d once thought it an impossible task.


    They got pizza, and a hot dog and marshmallow roasting kit.  It came with a smokeless firepit like you¡¯d find in posh magazines, a pouch that ejected a fresh hot dog or marshmallow randomly, and a bunch of smooth wooden dowels.  The stash of buns and condiments had to be reordered manually, but they became unlocked in the pedestal along with chocolate bars and graham crackers for s¡¯mores.


    As they¡¯d promised themselves, they closed the dungeon and went on a break for Sunday dinner at Colt¡¯s parent¡¯s place, not that they were nearly as hungry as they used to be.  Colt talked about Kat a lot, and they fussed at him to bring her to dinner soon.  Lacey wasn¡¯t sure how they were supposed to pull that off, but when Colt told Kat, she just gave a wink and said she¡¯d take care of it.


    Lacey stood looking over the valley behind the dungeon.  They¡¯d moved the control room to sit at the edge of the back entrance.  The view was literally through their back wall, which Lacey had made of the thick clear glass they used for the magnet puzzles.  At first, they¡¯d had the opening actually in their control room, but the traffic was distracting.  The sheer number of goblins, spunks, and rejects coming in and out of the opening was a little much.  They moved the residential areas closer to the back entrance, but they couldn¡¯t move anything outside like they did inside the dungeon.  The denizens of the dungeon had to do all the building outside, at least for now.


    ¡°If you could get the pedestal out here, we¡¯d be all set,¡± Colt came up behind her.  ¡°I¡¯m surprised you haven¡¯t moved your desk out here.¡±  Four trugs were hefting a series of walls they¡¯d dismantled from one of the stables.  They should have been in the dungeon, but Lacey and Colt had decided to close the dungeon for a few days to make the move happen.  Bernard had said that they could all use a break anyway while they waited for the reinforcements to arrive.


    ¡°The ground is too uneven, but Ginger promised to lay a deck out here as soon as the main move is done,¡± Lacey tapped her booted foot on the ground.  The moon overhead spread more than enough light for the dungeon denizens to work.


    ¡°You could have prioritized it,¡± Colt bent down to pluck a browned branch of pine needles up off the ground.  A troop of goblins gave the trugs a wide berth as they headed back into the dungeon for another load.


    ¡°I¡¯m not that desperate,¡± Lacey said, closing her eyes to enjoy the slight breeze.  ¡°I could just take a pad of paper out here and sit on a log for a while.¡±


    ¡°I have an idea,¡± Colt held up a finger and ducked back into the dungeon.  She could see him at the pedestal as he waved a few of the returning goblins over.  The clear wall allowed her to watch with a smile as Colt ordered them to carry the firepit outside.  The goblins didn¡¯t complain at all.  They just lifted it with Colt and carried it outside next to where she stood.


    ¡°I told you it could wait,¡± Lacey complained, waving at the slope she stood on.  ¡°The ground is too uneven.¡±


    ¡°It is now, but if you don¡¯t want to slow down the goblins¡¯ work, you can¡¯t be upset if I do it,¡± Colt pointed the goblins off the path that was being beaten down by the moving traffic of more goblins toting packs of tools and rocks.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you have a date with Kat tonight?¡± Lacey called out to Colt as he raced back into the control room to pick up what he¡¯d ordered off the pedestal.


    ¡°I¡¯ve got a little time for my bestie,¡± Colt shrugged, a shovel in one hand and a rake in the other.  ¡°If you don¡¯t mind getting your hands dirty helping me out, we could get it done in no time.¡±


    ¡°Then you¡¯ll be all sweaty before your date,¡± Lacey protested, but she took the rake he handed to her.


    ¡°We have showers,¡± he answered, chucking a shovelful of dirt from the high end of the slop to the low end.  ¡°Are you going to pitch in?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m in, but don¡¯t blame me if Kat is annoyed with you,¡± Lacey shook a finger at him, but then they went to work.


    They didn¡¯t get to finish the patio themselves.  Returning goblins, incensed at the idea of their dungeon masters doing manual labor, took their tools and finished it for them.  An hour later, it wasn¡¯t a full deck, but it was a level enough clearing to fit their fire pit.  Lacey was glad of it a few hours later when the night turned nippy.  Colt hadn¡¯t even needed a shower before he¡¯d waved goodbye for the night.


    The industrious dungeon denizens, having long ago learned how to work in shifts throughout the day and night, were almost as quick as Bernard¡¯s crew in putting the little town together.  It only took a week for the spunks to implement Lacey¡¯s design for the waterwheel-driven mill.  The dungeon worked easily on half the normal spunks in the trap corridors, especially with new levels being summoned including the denizens required to run the level.  They weren¡¯t running all the new levels yet since there really weren¡¯t enough adventurers to populate them all.  Twenty levels were more than enough for the current adventurer population.


    Crops were planted with all the seeds they¡¯d gotten from the adventurers.  The rejects were as well designed for that as the spunks were for building.  They had circular fields, turning the valley landscape into one that almost looked like flowers drawn by a kindergartener.  Rejects could pull their own plows, their horse bodies strong for all their smaller pony size.


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    Lacey worked on the little deck of split logs, with its firepit cut into a hole in the center and her desk off to one side.  She could still keep an eye on the pedestal room, but no longer did the oppression of the mountain over her head create a tension in her shoulders.  For the first time since they¡¯d entered the dungeon, Lacey felt that blanket of pressure lift on the mountain breeze.


    Lacey drew every normal animal she could think of including crows, robins, sheep, horses, cattle, and hogs.  For the dungeon, she made blobs of destruction, gelatinous cubes, man-eating moles, magic mouths, cave crawlers, cave bears, carrion crawlers, and a dozen things from cellular biology that translated well into knee-high creatures out of a person¡¯s worst nightmares.  And at night, she and Colt would roast some dinner over the fire just before he headed out to be with Kat and Lacey would kick back with that book that Colt had replaced.


    Colt managed the dungeon by day, using every moment in between to sketch out dungeon mazes that Lacey then littered with mobs and traps.  By night he was off with Kat, and while he came back tired, he was happy.  That was enough for Lacey, not that she didn¡¯t let him off without some teasing when he came in at midnight with a goofy grin on his face.  He put in just as much work as Lacey did on the dungeon, but he sneaked in some time to search out flowers from the back 40 once in a while.


    Lacey shook her head as she peeked out over her book to watch Colt arrange a bunch of wildflowers into a clay vase he¡¯d bought from a crafting goblin.  If only Colt¡¯s charm had been enough to get her libido pumping, they¡¯d be a happy old married couple by now.  She was glad he was happy with Kat.  Now that she was out from under the mountain most of her days, Lacey was content to watch the budding romance with bemusement.  It was weird how much of her bitterness had been in the oppression of the underground fear that she couldn¡¯t even control.  She felt more like herself than she had since they¡¯d gotten here.


    Colt had managed to get some goblins to drag out a bunk bed, but without a roof to keep the rain off, he¡¯d had to drag it back inside.  Lacey still slept in her underground bed, but it was so close to the open wall that it didn¡¯t seem as debilitating as it had been.  She just kept her bedroom door open.  Spark liked to chase birds early in the morning.  Lacey was lucky so far in that Spark was totally terrible at it.


    Lacey watched Colt slip out with a wave and gave it a few moments before picking up her pad of paper.  He¡¯d been such a good sport with her bad moods over the past weeks that Lacey wanted to do something for him.  For the past week, they¡¯d fallen into a routine.  She¡¯d be in bed by the time he returned, mostly because he hated her waiting up for him.  She was up before him the next morning.


    ¡°Morning, partner,¡± she started, handing him a cup of coffee.


    ¡°Morning,¡± he answered, rubbing a hand over his face as he took it.


    ¡°Burrito?¡± she handed him the breakfast, and he squinted at it in puzzlement.  The glare from the dawn spread up over the mountain of their valley causing him to have to blink the sleep out of his eyes.


    ¡°Thanks,¡± he took it, and she sat back down at the table, next to a chest.  He wasn¡¯t so sleepy that he missed her innocent yet smug look.  ¡°What are you up to?¡±


    ¡°Can¡¯t a partner order up breakfast without ¨C,¡± she was interrupted as the chest bounced.


    ¡°Uh, huh,¡± he raised an eyebrow at her, but his hands were full of burrito and coffee.  ¡°What¡¯s in the box?  Revenge for my crocorat?¡±


    ¡°Maybe,¡± her mouth twitched, as the chest scooted an inch toward the edge of the table.


    She watched the dozen conspiracy theories that crossed his face.  Had she summoned a feisty mimic chest?  Was there a wild beast in the chest?  She couldn¡¯t blame him.  She¡¯d been in such a bad mood for so long.  He couldn¡¯t see the holes in the chest, made by a thief trying to bypass the traps.  She¡¯d scavenged the chest afterward.  There weren¡¯t any traps on their treasure chests, but that adventuring thief hadn¡¯t known that and had drilled a bunch of holes around the lock.  There was a snuffling at the largest hole.


    Colt took a too-large gulp of his coffee and two large bites of his burrito before setting both down at the end of the table.  He drew a dagger from one of the sheaths across his chest, a set he¡¯d gotten from Kat.


    ¡°So suspicious,¡± Lacey shook her head slowly at him over her coffee cup.  ¡°Maybe it¡¯s a nice surprise.¡±


    ¡°Uh, huh,¡± he didn¡¯t look convinced, but he flipped open the chest.


    Lacey had to duck to avoid the chest¡¯s lid, but it also allowed her to get outside the range of the creature¡¯s tail as it whipped out over the falling lid.  The dagger hit the floor and Colt¡¯s eyes went so wide, Lacey had to laugh, not that she could be heard over the puppy¡¯s commotion.  It lunged for the burrito, knocking over the coffee.  Lacey had to back away from the table, laughing at the mess the dog was making.


    ¡°It¡¯s a dog?¡± Colt sputtered out.  ¡°Just a dog?  Not a hellhound or something?¡±


    ¡°I made some hellhounds but I didn¡¯t want them to eat Spark, so I settled for just a simple dog,¡± Lacey explained.  ¡°You said you wanted a pet.¡±


    ¡°Wait, it¡¯s a pet?¡± Colt gaped at her.


    ¡°Yes, silly,¡± Lacey edged back behind his desk.  The puppy had finished the burrito and was looking around for more, having given up on the bitter coffee after a single lap and snort.  ¡°You gave me Spark, so it was past time for you to have one too.¡±


    ¡°My pet?¡± Colt leaned down to pick up his dagger before the puppy considered it more possible food or a plaything.


    ¡°Now that we have a back yard,¡± Lacey waved to the outdoors, not needing to finish her statement.  ¡°There¡¯s a leash in the chest for her.  Who needs a treadmill when you can go for a walk out there?¡±


    The puppy was the image of a tan and white pit bull that Colt had wanted from a pet store when they were living in the apartment.  Colt plopped down on the floor and gathered the wiggling form into his arms, wet eyes meeting Lacey¡¯s over her head.  A wet slurp landed on his laughing chin as he pet it vigorously, starting a whole wrestling match on the floor.


    ¡°Who¡¯s a good girl?¡± he cooed at the puppy, who happily pounced on Colt¡¯s head.


    ¡°What are you going to name her?¡± Lacey asked, heading to the door to the outside.


    ¡°I think, Beka!¡± he answered, scooping Beka up into his arms to follow Lacey outside.


    ¡°Wasn¡¯t that your first girlfriend?¡± Lacey challenged his name.


    ¡°I don¡¯t remember,¡± he avoided the subject, stopping at the chest to fetch out the very long leash.  ¡°You think she¡¯ll be safe out there?¡±


    ¡°Spark is,¡± Lacey shrugged.  ¡°The denizens won¡¯t attack her and they¡¯re the worst that reside out there.¡±


    ¡°Uh, oh,¡± Colt hugged the puppy to his chest defensively.  ¡°Spark.¡±


    ¡°They¡¯ve already been introduced,¡± Lacey assured him, sitting at her desk on the patio.  ¡°Spark¡¯s not thrilled, but so far, Beka is being respectful.¡±

 Chapter 2.32 – Fresh Blood

    By the time the new recruits showed up, Colt and Lacey had finished another 15 dungeon levels, 43 creatures, and three quests. Bernard¡¯s village had grown into a full-blown garrison, complete with both barracks and dining hall with roofs. They¡¯d blown through the Dungeon Progress Level requirement for Tier III, and they were less than ten monster types away from that part, but there were a daunting 25 more unique dungeon levels to complete to get into the new tier. Their quests had wracked up another 30 acres to the back yard, and a new modern, outdoor kitchen for their patio.


    <table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 99.981%" border="1">


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    <tr>


    <td style="width: 98.8563%">Tier III Requirements: 20/20 Entrances, 25/50 Unique Dungeon Levels, 40/40 Dungeon Progress Level, 92/100 Monster Types, 100/100 Dungeon Incursions Repelled, 5,000/5,000 Dungeon Denizens, and 20/20 Unique Monster Types.</td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    They were ready for the new waves of adventurers that appeared. There were 40 new Mages accompanied by plenty of Fighters, Rogues, Rangers, Clerics, and even a few Bards, all with bright shining faces eager for the chance at hitting the new dungeon. It was more than they¡¯d expected, but not enough to overwhelm the new levels and gauntlets. They had gauntlets for all of them. Those had been the easy levels to make.


    Spark and Beka had settled into an easy companionship, as long as Beka put up with Spark riding on Beka¡¯s back on walks in the woods. They competed over squirrel chases. They had free run of the back yard¡¯s village, once Colt had figured out that the back 70 acres had an invisible barrier around the perimeter that kept not only Colt and Lacey in, but also all the minions. Since that included Beka and Spark, they¡¯d started leveling up on squirrels, birds, and oversized insects. If they ran into something too big for them, they ran to the village, where the denizens defended the new little sweethearts of the dungeon.


    Since they¡¯d gotten word of the new recruits¡¯ arrival, Colt and Lacey were headed out of the dungeon at lunchtime to be there for the big welcome BBQ. The current Rangers had brought in both bear and deer for the occasion and they were shutting down the dungeon for an afternoon. Colt had wanted to bring potato salad, but they¡¯d settled on a bucket of BBQ sauce instead. The potatoes weren¡¯t normal local food, and they could add the BBQ sauce to the drop list in the dungeon. They also brought a few trays of mac and cheese, something the dungeon was dropping in the new levels.


    Colt and Lacey had held back on running most of the new dungeons until the new recruits arrived, making this almost a reopening ceremony after a major renovation. That was another reason that they¡¯d closed the dungeon for the evening. While Colt and Lacey were out enjoying the evening BBQ, the minions were doing a bunch of routine crap to make everything ready. Colt and Lacey had spent the last hour doing their part, so there wasn¡¯t much.


    They stood at the fort entrance between Bernard and Kat as the new mass of people crested the hill. The sight made Lacey¡¯s stomach clench with nerves. At the head of the pack was the runner that Benny had sent off on the errand. He walked next to a set of Knights on horseback.


    ¡°Knights?¡± Lacey asked Bernard out of the side of her mouth.


    ¡°Their heraldry represents the royal family crest, but these are likely their raw recruits,¡± Bernard answered, his smile perfect in a way that made her think they¡¯d made even Bernard nervous.


    ¡°Should we have made a new gauntlet for Knights?¡± Colt asked over Lacey¡¯s head.


    ¡°Don¡¯t kill yourself over it,¡± Kat rolled her eyes at the whole pageantry of it. ¡°They may not even stay. If I was going to hazard a guess, I¡¯d bet they¡¯re probably just here for an inspection and will turn right around and report back to the crown on it.¡±


    She would have lost that bet. Two hours later, they were up to their necks in pomp and circumstance. There was an inspection, but only a small contingent was being sent back to report on it. The Knights were there to level, and only a few of them were at the lower levels.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure glad we have a few levels at 50,¡± Lacey told Colt and Kat as she walked them back to the dungeon¡¯s entrances. The sun was setting, and they had work to do. ¡°How much do they expect to level when they are almost beyond our level cap?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not like they can remember the dungeon anyway,¡± Kat shook her head. ¡°I don¡¯t know what the system is playing at, but I will find out tonight.¡±


    ¡°Could there be players in there?¡± Colt asked.


    ¡°I suppose,¡± Kat waved a hand like it hardly mattered. ¡°The system doesn¡¯t really tell us whether the adventurer is a player or an NPC. Can you tell from inside the dungeon?¡±


    ¡°Not normally, except that players remember,¡± Lacey kicked a pebble, sending Spark chasing after it, Beka hot on her heels.


    ¡°Usually, players will admit it readily,¡± Colt whistled to call Beka back to his side, a trick they were working on. This time it worked. It didn¡¯t always. ¡°They¡¯re happy to talk with other players in the game.¡±


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    ¡°Usually,¡± Kat pondered that with a crease of her forehead.


    ¡°Are we really staying up to make a gauntlet for those pompous Knights?¡± Colt pat Beka and tossed her a treat.


    ¡°They aren¡¯t that bad,¡± Lacey kept her hands in her pockets.


    ¡°They wouldn¡¯t even talk to us,¡± Colt rolled his eyes.


    ¡°I noticed that and I¡¯m going to give them an earful about it, that¡¯s for sure,¡± Kat crossed her arms over her chest with a creak of leather. She hadn¡¯t left their side for the whole picnic, and it wasn¡¯t just to sit next to Colt. Kat had buffed up their security with the highest levels of Bernard¡¯s people, the ones that were going back in the morning because they¡¯d leveled out of their highest dungeons. ¡°My mom says to never trust a person that won¡¯t break bread with you.¡±


    ¡°We appreciate it, Kat,¡± Lacey said. ¡°They just strike me as an entitled lot.¡±


    ¡°Rubs me the wrong way after that guy, Montgomery,¡± Colt admitted, stopping at the dungeon entrance and looking over Kat¡¯s shoulder at the celebration that was only now starting to wind down. ¡°He was that kind of entitled.¡±


    Kat pursed her lips, ¡°I hear you. I get it, I do. These guys don¡¯t outrank Bernard, though, so they¡¯ll have to follow orders now that they¡¯re here. If they don¡¯t, he still has the power to eject them.¡±


    ¡°I trust Bernard,¡± Lacey put her back to the stone entrance.


    ¡°That¡¯s why he still has the power to eject them,¡± Kat put on a smile, but Colt didn¡¯t believe her. ¡°The crown wants to keep the dungeon happy.¡±


    ¡°Still,¡± Colt frowned, and leaned over to kiss Kat¡¯s forehead.


    ¡°Still,¡± Kat agreed, slow to pull back.


    ¡°It¡¯s best that we keep a dungeon closure close at hand,¡± Lacey nodded and entered the dungeon, a whistle and clap to call the pets.


    Colt didn¡¯t stay outside very long. Lacey waited for him, tossing a ball that Bernard had fashioned out of scrap leather for Beka. Lacey did trust Bernard, but this kind of political stuff had a way of changing people. As long as Bernard was producing results for the crown, they had enjoyed a honeymoon period of growth. Now they were being judged again, and Lacey wasn¡¯t comfortable with it. Beka didn¡¯t seem to mind the fact that Spark dug her claws into Beka¡¯s collar to hold on while the puppy raced the length of the bat cave entrance.


    ¡°Are we really going to make a gauntlet for them before bed?¡± Colt bent to pick up the slobbery ball and toss it again.


    ¡°I¡¯m thinking of a jousting arena for the Knights,¡± Lacey told Colt as they walked toward the elevator.


    ¡°They should be good at that, but what do we get out of it?¡± Colt asked. He wasn¡¯t wrong. The Rangers fletched arrows for the murder holes in other levels. The Bards created music, or instruments at higher levels, that the Rejects coveted as gifts for each other. The Clerics made healing potions. The Mages made spell scrolls, and even the Fighters honed weapons. The gauntlets were designed to produce for the dungeon in return for places on the leaderboards set up outside the dungeon.


    ¡°Horse training?¡± Lacey suggested. ¡°Are they all knightly and all that if they can¡¯t tame a horse?¡±


    ¡°Or a unicorn?¡± Colt put in, summoning a pedestal in their elevator room.


    ¡°Now that we have them,¡± Lacey shrugged, pulling Spark off of Beka to cuddle.


    ¡°Can we make them joust in a beetle-infested arena?¡± Colt mused, patting the puppy as they rode to the control room.


    ¡°That sounds good,¡± Lacey smiled from behind Spark¡¯s fur. It seemed that they both needed a bit of pet solace.


    ¡°We can repurpose the bat cave,¡± Colt scooped up Beka, more to scoot her out of the elevator than to hold onto her. ¡°It¡¯s big enough for a jousting arena.¡±


    ¡°Who are we going to pit against them?¡± Lacey let Spark go, and the two pets raced each other to the outer door. Spark only outran Beka because the puppy was still a tangle of awkward limbs. After an afternoon of needing to stay close, they were both ready to run loose for a while.


    ¡°I¡¯ve been thinking about a new mob that would work really well for this,¡± Colt rubbed his hands together. ¡°Do you remember the cave on Dagobah where Luke met himself?¡±


    ¡°Oh, that¡¯s sinister,¡± Lacey let a grin take over her face. ¡°But how are you going to draw that?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s mostly intent, right?¡± Colt shrugged. ¡°I figured I¡¯d try to draw myself?¡±


    ¡°And end up with you as a dungeon mob?¡± Lacey¡¯s eyebrows took a jump up on her face.


    ¡°You have any ideas?¡± he challenged her, settling at his desk in the control room as she walked to the door and leaned on the exit, close enough to smell the fresh air.


    ¡°A few,¡± she nodded. ¡°You work on the map of the level, and I¡¯ll work up that mob.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a deal,¡± he said to her retreating back. Her desk was outside, but he could see her send him a thumbs up from the other side of the glass.


    It turned out that Colt was on the right track, but it took her three tries to make the mob. When they got that right, she helped Colt with the rest of the details for the gauntlet level. In one hour, those Knights would need to calm a herd of horses so that one would respond to them, making extra points for taming a unicorn or a nightmare. They¡¯d also have to defeat themselves in a joust. Their final task was to complete a task of honor, choosing between tasks that each held a certain point value.


    ¡°What are we going to do with mini-Colt?¡± Lacey asked as they dropped the final plans into the pedestal and fine-tuned the results.


    ¡°You were supposed to draw you, not me,¡± Colt gave her a bit of stink-eye.


    ¡°I drew you fighting you in the mirror,¡± Lacey smiled.


    ¡°And got a guy so full of himself that he¡¯s totally useless,¡± Colt¡¯s stink-eye got stinkier.


    ¡°How was I supposed to know that¡¯s how the system would interpret that?¡± Lacey gave him an innocent look.


    ¡°Where are you going?¡± Colt asked her as she headed for her room, Spark cuddled in one arm. The pets had exhausted themselves.


    ¡°Bed,¡± Lacey said over her shoulder.


    ¡°You¡¯re going the wrong way,¡± he called to her from the outer doorway.


    ¡°What are you talking about?¡± she turned to him.


    ¡°Your bed isn¡¯t in here,¡± he crooked a finger at her.


    It had been dark by the time they¡¯d gotten home; dark enough that she hadn¡¯t seen the little shed on the other side of the patio. It was set back about ten feet from the patio, and it was covered with a mud and thatch roof. It wasn¡¯t much, barely four walls, a door and a roof, but it did have her bed in it. The floor was the split logs like the patio. It was worse than their first apartment, but it was heaven to her.

 Chapter 2.33 – Dawn of Chaos

    The morning session went smoother than Lacey had dared to hope.  With 21 entrances, they were easily running every single unique dungeon they¡¯d created.  They had three arenas for the very lowest levels, and each of those had five gauntlets attached.  Once the arena level cleared, the 15 gauntlets opened up, with three copies each of the Fighters, Rogues, and Mages; two for healers; and one each for crafters, Knights, Rangers, and Bards.  The longer running levels like the Zoo, the Catacomb Crawl, and the Three Monkeys each had their own entrance.  It was a lot to oversee, but the Spunks took care of the traps, the Goblins were in charge of treasure and puzzles, and the Rejects wrangled the mobs into and out of their target zones.  The adventurers, even the new ones, followed the rules and kept to their own sections and mostly cleared their dungeons with few casualties and no full wipes.


    The dungeon itself was swarming with the chaos of each component doing their own jobs, just as they should be doing them.  Looking over the results of all that chaos were Lacey and Colt, each at their desks and monitoring the integration of that chaos into a working machine.  They¡¯d moved Lacey¡¯s desk just inside the glass wall so that they could discuss the dungeon happenings.  Lacey hadn¡¯t been able to concentrate on her drawings except to doodle some basic shapes, but she¡¯d barely noticed the mountain pressing down on her with the glass wall right next to her and the new levels being run for the first time.  There were more components than they¡¯d ever had going at once and they were busy swiping through the rooms and levels on their little screens.


    ¡°Mac and Cheese just cleared,¡± Colt reported.  ¡°I think our next upgrade should be a wall of monitors that some of the elites could monitor to do this job.¡±


    ¡°Like a security control room?¡± Lacey nodded as she swiped screens through the gauntlets.  Colt was watching the main dungeon, while Lacey kept an eye on the gauntlets.  ¡°Did you find an upgrade like that in the system?¡±


    ¡°No, but with the system being reactive to our ideas, I thought I¡¯d bring it up,¡± Colt sent a wink at her over his desk.


    ¡°In that case, I think we need a scoreboard like we have outside, only for dungeon level completions, status, and clears,¡± Lacey grinned.


    ¡°Oh, yeah,¡± Colt nodded eagerly.  ¡°Like they have at a sports book at a casino?¡±


    ¡°Yes!¡± Lacey mirrored his enthusiasm.  ¡°And it should be simple enough for the Goblins to update.  That would work really well, especially if we could put one up outside too so that everyone could see what¡¯s happening inside!¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t think maybe that would ruin the immersion for some of the players from the real world?¡±


    ¡°Nah,¡± Lacey waved Colt¡¯s half-hearted worry off.  ¡°Benny could build a whole bar around it, just like the casinos and even offer betting.  It would be awesome!¡±


    ¡°If,¡± Colt said in an unnecessarily louder tone toward the room at large, ¡°the system had an upgrade like that, we¡¯d be jamming on that quest, right Lacey?¡±


    ¡°Like gangbusters,¡± Lacey chuckled at his theatrics.  ¡°Mage Gauntlet two just cleared.  That only leaves the Knight Gauntlet.  We might have made that one a little too long.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± Colt flipped through his screens too.  ¡°We still have folks working their way through the Hall of Horrors and the Black Knight.  The groups that went into those dungeon levels were ranked a little low for the levels, but they¡¯re almost done.¡±


    ¡°Losses?¡± Lacey put her chin in her hand as she watched the Knights try to climb a ten-foot wall in full armor.  Lacey and Colt had banned the horses from the main dungeons, but they were allowed in the Knights¡¯ Gauntlet.  After all, they couldn¡¯t joust without their mounts.  They were trying to use their mounts to help climb the walls, but it was awkward and almost painful to watch.  The plate armor was incredibly heavy and unwieldy.  They were little more than punching bags in the regular dungeons as the creature-like mobs couldn¡¯t penetrate the shiny cans of meat.  Lacey was considering adding a few Rust monsters to the dungeons to even the playing field.


    ¡°On those two dungeons?¡± Colt asked.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey replied.


    ¡°Hall of Horrors is taking longer because they did lose a party member in one of the doors,¡± Colt answered her.  The Hall of Horrors was the dungeon where each party member had to complete a mini dungeon on their own.  The door had a riddle on it, and they could pick the person they thought had the best chance of defeating that challenge.  If a party-member failed, another member would have to do a second challenge.  ¡°They were smart, though.  They are letting the Fighter rest after running the first door¡¯s challenge while the rest of them run their own.  She¡¯ll likely have an easier time than the Ranger did on the first door.  He was too low a level for the dungeon level, and they realized that a little too late.¡±


    ¡°Do you think players would do better?¡± Lacey mused, fidgeting with a pencil, itching to draw the Rust monster as another Knight clanked onto the other side of the ten-foot wall.  ¡°With their ability to remember?¡±


    ¡°Sure,¡± Colt reasoned, kicking back on two legs of his chair.  ¡°I would think so.¡±


    ¡°Do you think maybe we should make it so that players have to complete the dungeon from top to bottom before repeating levels?¡± Lacey flipped a page open in her drawing pad, but she was only doodling.  She could pencil in the basic outline while distracted, but for the fine-tuning, she¡¯d need to focus on it completely.


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    ¡°The Black Knight just cleared,¡± Colt winced at his screen.  ¡°Only one of them survived the final mob, but like the Hall of Horrors group, they did take on a level too high for them.  On the players, how would we enforce that?¡±


    ¡°Maybe the system has a solution to that too,¡± Lacey figured it was worth a try.  ¡°How many more quests do we have before the next Tier?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s still four,¡± Colt rolled his eyes at her, and got up to stretch his legs.  ¡°Just like it was an hour ago.¡±


    ¡°Ugh,¡± Lacey grunted.  They were mostly side quests that annoyed her.  She liked the rewards, but now that they only needed a few monsters and levels for the Tier completion, the system had come up with quests more like the laundry list of the tutorial.  If Thieves in the dungeon picked 4,000 locks, they would get an ever-full pizza box.  If they used ten one-hour lunchbreak coupons, they¡¯d get two free ones.  If the Goblins made 3,000 gold rings, they¡¯d get 100 upgraded crafting tables for them.  If the Spunks reset 400 traps, they¡¯d get special Spunk headsets that provided x-ray vision through the trap corridor walls.  It was all little stuff, though.


    The main quests that got them closer to completing the Tier had the big rewards, like expanding the back yard.  The newest one was to finish 50 unique dungeon designs and would give them limited building capacity for the backyard.  Lacey had mixed feelings about leveling up to Tier III.  She wanted that invulnerability spell, but once again, the dungeon system would change how it worked.  She was just getting used to how this Tier worked.


    ¡°Want one?¡± Colt held up a packet of chips he¡¯d pulled out of a kitchen cupboard.  That had been another recent award for having more than 100 adventurers through the dungeon at the same time.  It was a snack cupboard that would provide snack-sized packets of crave-worthy foods.  All you had to do was think of the snack you wanted and open the cupboard.


    ¡°I¡¯m good,¡± Lacey shook her head.


    Beka gave a low woof and sat up from her spot near the door.  Colt had ordered up a very comfortable and huge bed for the puppy.  The cupboard also gave out treats for the pets and Beka had learned the trick of it quickly.


    ¡°I got you, Beka baby,¡± Colt cooed to the puppy, opening the cupboard to get a pet treat.


    ¡°How are we not fat?¡± Lacey wondered and then could have kicked herself.  She didn¡¯t really want the system to start adding pounds to them.


    ¡°It¡¯s still a game,¡± Colt shrugged and tossed a crunchy milk-bone to Beka.  ¡°Being able to eat like a teenager and not gain weight is a perk of the system that we can all enjoy.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m still sticking to diet soda,¡± Lacey lifted the drink off her desk to toast the system.


    ¡°Noted,¡± Colt smiled, pausing to pat Beka on the head.


    The dungeon went green, causing Lacey to sigh out in relief.  There was always just a bit of tension on her that released once the dungeon was clear.  She glanced at her screen to note that the final Knight was being slowly dragged out of the trap he¡¯d fallen into.  The gauntlets automatically expelled the last place participant rather than force them to complete the gauntlet.  That had turned out to be a very good thing as many times someone got stuck on a challenge.  If more than one got stuck, they sent an elite Goblin in to get them unstuck once the competition ended.


    ¡°Are you coming out today?¡± Colt asked her, popping a cheese puff in his mouth.


    ¡°Yeah, I think so,¡± Lacey stretched her back as she stood.  ¡°I want to see how the new folks felt about the experience.  If they had complaints, Benny would know.¡±


    ¡°They did seem a bit jerky at the picnic, but I don¡¯t get why,¡± Colt backed toward the elevator, Beka on his heels.


    ¡°They weren¡¯t rude, but they were cold,¡± Lacey bent to scoop up Spark from where she waited at the elevator door.


    ¡°I thought Bernard said that the folks back in Hamburg were excited or at least happy about the new dungeon and I would think he¡¯s only had good things to say in his reports back to the king or whoever,¡± Colt leaned against the elevator wall.  He called up the pedestal, but when he noticed that his fingers were coated in cheese puff dust, he shrugged at Lacey to take over.


    ¡°That¡¯s been bugging me too,¡± Lacey swiped at the pedestal and moved their elevator to the lowest dungeon entrance.  ¡°I¡¯ll ask Bernard.  He¡¯s had time to talk with them.  Maybe he knows.¡±


    ¡°Thanks for doing all that politicking stuff,¡± Colt crumpled up the empty chip bag and tucked it into his pocket, leaving a smudge of cheese dust on his jeans.  He didn¡¯t wear the leather that much, but Lacey did.  If he¡¯d worn the leather, the cheese dust would have just fallen off, but he preferred the comfort to the look.  He was a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy, and now that he wasn¡¯t having to impress Kat, he had gone back to his norm rather than gussy up for the girl.  ¡°If you think I should be doing more, I can meet Kat at night and stay with you and Bernard today.¡±


    ¡°Kat might not like that,¡± Lacey looked sideways at him.


    ¡°Kat would understand,¡± Colt raised his eyebrows.  ¡°Besides, I think we¡¯ve both been feeling like we¡¯re shirking our duties a bit.¡±


    ¡°A bit?¡± Lacey¡¯s mouth twitched.  ¡°You mean by always running off together to do your kissy-face stuff?¡±


    ¡°Kissy-face?¡± he protested with a mild blush.


    ¡°And whatever else gets you both all hot and bothered when you finally show back up,¡± Lacey teased him, ¡°with only minutes to go before we have to go back in?¡±


    ¡°You know I¡¯m not that kind of guy,¡± Colt squirmed, the tips of his ears getting brighter.


    ¡°She did look a little rumpled,¡± Lacey pressed, a fake frown creasing her brow.  ¡°What would your mother think?¡±


    ¡°Rumpled?¡± Colt stammered but then recovered.  ¡°She was not rumpled.  And how would you know anyway since you didn¡¯t come out yesterday?¡±


    ¡°So, she was rumpled yesterday?¡± Lacey persisted, pressing her lips together.


    ¡°Was not!¡± he snapped.  ¡°And leave my mother out of it!¡±


    ¡°And now you¡¯re getting all ruffled!¡± Lacey gave up suppressing her smile as she dropped her coupon onto the pedestal.


    ¡°I¡¯m not ruffled,¡± he denied it with an almost pout.  Beka whined up at Colt.


    ¡°Rumpled and ruffled,¡± Lacey quipped, darting out of the elevator and toward the entrance.


    ¡°You keep that to yourself, or, or,¡± Colt was back to stuttering.


    ¡°Or what?¡± Lacey was the one walking backwards just to watch his face.


    ¡°Or you¡¯ll regret it, is what!¡± he was saying as she backed out of the dungeon entrance.  ¡°And don¡¯t you dare say any of this to Kat!¡±


    Colt hit his nose on the entrance.  He¡¯d been so distracted by her teasing that he hadn¡¯t dropped his coupon first.  He was darting back to the pedestal, his face aflame when Kat walked up behind Lacey.


    ¡°Don¡¯t tell me what?¡± Kat asked, frowning at Colt¡¯s retreat from the entrance.  ¡°Is something wrong with Colt?¡±


    ¡°Not a thing!¡± Lacey replied, innocently.


    ¡°Uh, huh,¡± Bernard commented wryly.

 Chapter 2.34 – Pet Shenanigans

    ¡°Don¡¯t listen to her,¡± Colt was saying as he came out of the dungeon.


    ¡°Why not?¡± Kat raised her eyebrows at him, obviously noticing his red face.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t say anything,¡± Lacey shrugged, but she was barely muffling her laughter.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t?¡± Colt skidded to a stop.


    ¡°She didn¡¯t,¡± Bernard assured Colt quietly.  ¡°The morning seemed to go fairly well.  The messengers to the city have been sent off with updates.  Most are pleasantly surprised at the experience and loot.¡±


    ¡°But why are they surprised?¡± Lacey cut through the politicking.  ¡°Haven¡¯t your reports told them what to expect?¡±


    ¡°That did occur to me as well,¡± Bernard nodded, turning to stroll toward the wall as they usually did during these outings.  ¡°I take it that you noticed the odd behavior of the newest recruits.¡±


    ¡°We noticed,¡± Colt took Kat¡¯s hand, but instead of heading off in a different direction to do their own thing, he tugged her lightly into following along with Lacey and Bernard.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to come with us,¡± Lacey smirked at Colt, who sent her a glare.


    ¡°We are just as interested in the business side of this as you are, and I¡¯m concerned,¡± Colt countered.


    ¡°Of course, we are,¡± Kat¡¯s puzzled gaze went from Lacey to Colt and back again.  ¡°I talked with a few of the new people and a few of them are players, not just NPCs.  They were mostly tight-lipped.¡±


    ¡°That is interesting,¡± Bernard led them along the now-imposing wall that looked like it had been there forever, moss growing over some of the lower stones.  ¡°I spoke with one of the higher-leveled Knights that I served with back in Hamburg.  He would only say that there was chatter on the journey to the dungeon.  Something to do with coddling and death rates that were higher than predicted or reported.¡±


    ¡°But our death rates are pretty low,¡± Lacey put Spark down in the grass.  The path around the inside of the wall was beaten down, but grass dotted the sides of the path and Spark used the taller parts of the grass to stalk Shadow.


    ¡°That is what I told him, but he seemed skeptical,¡± Bernard reported, nimbly side-stepping Beka¡¯s awkward following of her buddy Spark.


    ¡°There are only your reports and the messenger that you sent back, aren¡¯t there?¡± Kat said, watching Shadow closely as Spark got a little bowled over by Beka¡¯s enthusiasm.


    ¡°I¡¯m afraid that the others we¡¯ve sent back may not have the best reports of us or the dungeon,¡± Bernard frowned.  ¡°They are the ones we¡¯ve kicked out and probably have a negatively warped view of our operation.  I don¡¯t think it was the messenger as much as it was the lower levels I sent back with him.¡±


    ¡°Maybe we should talk with the messenger and see if he knows what was talked about,¡± Lacey suggested.


    Spark took that moment to pounce on Shadow¡¯s swishing tail, something Shadow and Spark had done often.  Spark scrambled up the tail onto the big cat¡¯s shoulder.  Unfortunately, Beka tried to follow Spark like she always did.  While Spark and Beka had the camaraderie of fellow-dungeon-creatures, Beka did not enjoy the same safety with Shadow, Kat¡¯s familiar.  Beka slid into Shadow¡¯s hind leg and was met with a toothy snarl from Shadow that came between Beka and Spark.


    ¡°No, Shadow,¡± Kat tried just as Colt swooped in to get between the big cat and his puppy.


    It was a good thing that Shadow wasn¡¯t still that level 72 familiar.  He took a swipe at the puppy and got Colt¡¯s shoulder instead.  It was obviously meant to be a light warning, but it was enough to knock him over and into the grass.  Beka, not liking that it seemed that the big cat had attacked her human, started barking and snarling back at Shadow.  It didn¡¯t help that Colt and Lacey were incredibly vulnerable in their current condition.


    Kat acted fast, shouldering herself between the two pets with a leather-clad forearm taking the brunt of Beka¡¯s surge forward, and her back stopping Shadow¡¯s lunge.  Lacey plucked a confused Spark off Shadow¡¯s back and barely missed a swipe from Shadow, who had turned to protect her flank.  It took Colt a moment longer to roll back up onto his feet and grab Beka.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± he was saying, a wriggling Beka in his arms.  ¡°She got along so well with Spark that I didn¡¯t think¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Kat said over the top of him.  ¡°Shadow¡¯s been a bit defensive since he lost so many levels.¡±


    ¡°Is everyone okay?¡± Bernard knelt down, but he was back far enough to not get caught in the middle.  ¡°Do I need to call for a healer?¡±


    A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± Kat assured them all.  ¡°Colt, are you wounded?¡±


    ¡°Only my pride,¡± he muttered around Beka, who was still wiggling, ¡°and I don¡¯t think a healer can help with that.¡±


    ¡°Maybe I can help with that later,¡± Kat smiled at him with a tilt of her head.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you can,¡± Lacey bit her lip.


    ¡°Colt,¡± Bernard became more serious.  ¡°You appear to be bleeding.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Colt rolled his shoulder to look over it.  ¡°It doesn¡¯t feel bad.  Besides, I know that Shadow didn¡¯t mean it.¡±


    Shadow plopped down into a sulking sit, Kat¡¯s arms falling away slowly.  Lacey looked up to find that they had gathered a small group of lookie-loos.


    ¡°He says he¡¯s sorry,¡± Kat moved toward where Colt sat on the grass.


    ¡°At least you can talk and reason with yours,¡± Colt¡¯s mouth twisted into a half smile.  He still held Beka, but now that he¡¯d noticed the blood on his shoulder through the hole in his shirt, he winced when she wiggled.


    ¡°You there,¡± Bernard stood and pointed at one of the whispering gawkers.  ¡°Get Fen.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± Colt protested.


    ¡°The dungeon masters can be hurt?¡± Lacey heard a speculative whisper from the crowd, but she couldn¡¯t place where it had come from.


    ¡°It¡¯s a simple Heal spell,¡± Bernard leaned forward to offer his hand for Beka to sniff.


    ¡°Fine,¡± Colt agreed, but Lacey wondered how wise the offer was.


    ¡°They¡¯re human,¡± another whisper made Lacey frown.


    ¡°I hear it too,¡± Kat murmured low enough for only Lacey to hear.  Kat looked at Shadow for a long moment and then the cat got up to stalk off into the crowd.  ¡°Shadow¡¯s sniffing around in the crowd.¡±


    ¡°Maybe we should head back to the dungeon early,¡± Lacey offered.


    ¡°What?¡± Colt perked up at that, but not in a good way.  ¡°No, we just got here.¡±


    Kat and Colt had a quick whispered conversation as Lacey watched the crowd both for Shadow and for a face that looked scheming or discontented.  She had almost forgotten that they were vulnerable out of the dungeon, without even a few minions to protect them.  Bernard was looking for the healer and seemed unaware of the crowd as a danger to Lacey and Colt.  Maybe he too had become complacent with the friendly nature of their relationships or felt more secure behind the walls that were supposed to protect them all, but Lacey felt stupid for letting her guard down.


    ¡°Fen!¡± Bernard motioned a man over.  ¡°We had a little scrape.  Would you mind casting a small heal?¡±


    ¡°Of course, sir,¡± the healer knelt next to Colt and cast a spell that glowed on Colt¡¯s shoulder.


    ¡°Wow, that feels great,¡± Colt joked at the healer, who had been ready to cast another spell.


    ¡°It only took one spell?¡± Fen frowned and examined Colt¡¯s fully healed shoulder.


    ¡°Better safe than sorry,¡± Bernard beamed at them, clapping Fen on the shoulder.


    ¡°As you say,¡± Fen smiled and gave a nod before backing away from them.


    ¡°Safe,¡± Lacey muttered, scanning the faces and finding no one who blatantly looked like a dissenter.  ¡°I¡¯m not feeling all that safe, Bernard.¡±


    Bernard¡¯s smile remained without care, ¡°Of course, if you are concerned about the cat and dog getting along, we could walk back over toward the dungeon.¡±  With a softer voice, he said, ¡°Let¡¯s get you two home.¡±


    Bernard leaned down to give Colt a hand up.  Kat took Beka from Colt so Colt could get back to his feet.  Lacey wasn¡¯t concerned over the pets, but rather the speculative looks on the faces of those watching the incident.  The logic of it all annoyed Lacey.  Invulnerability was only available once they¡¯d already reached a higher level and perhaps needed it less.  Why wouldn¡¯t the system protect them more at the lower levels.  It was like running up on a camp of Goblins with the baby ones out near the perimeter rather than protected by the Fighters.  It was a good model for leveling up characters in a game, but it was silly from a realistic perspective.


    The four of them walked back to the dungeon entrance, Bernard smiling and carrying on an inane conversation that Lacey wasn¡¯t interested in hearing.  Once again, they were facing strangers, and once again the strangers were a danger to them and the dungeon.  Just a little misunderstanding between their pets had caused some kind of incident that allowed someone to plot against them.


    Once back at the entrance, Shadow slid up against Colt and he reached down to pet the panther.  Beka, still in Kat¡¯s arms, wriggled a bit at the big cat¡¯s nuzzle, but was otherwise far more playful than aggressive.  Beka had only been protective, and Shadow had just been asserting himself as the dominant of the group.  It had taken Spark to be the instigator of mischief, and even she hadn¡¯t been trying to cause any trouble.  And yet, Lacey could imagine that the incident was being whispered about all through the camp of adventurers.


    ¡°I will do damage control,¡± Bernard assured her quietly in an aside as Kat and Colt worked to make Shadow and Beka more comfortable with each other.  ¡°I promise you that.¡±


    ¡°Did you hear the speculation?¡± Lacey demanded, petting Spark, who was now sulking at being unable to play with her friends.  Lacey didn¡¯t need her causing any more trouble.


    ¡°I heard it,¡± Bernard admitted.  ¡°There are almost twice as many adventurers here than there were before, and it is taking time to get to know them.  Were there any incidents during the incursion?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Lacey looked down and away.  ¡°It went like clockwork.¡±


    ¡°Do you have enough dungeon closure coupons?¡± Bernard asked.


    ¡°Plenty,¡± Lacey nodded, and it was true.  Bernard and the adventurers had been very generous with the coupons, mostly because they were worthless to the adventurers.  A lot of them used the closure and break coupons for the gauntlets.


    ¡°I apologize for this disturbance to our routine,¡± Bernard¡¯s tone was low and gentle.  ¡°I will have guards posted when you leave the dungeon next.  I was lax, but I won¡¯t be again.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s silly,¡± Lacey shook her head and met his eyes.  ¡°We¡¯re safer than we¡¯ve ever been and that¡¯s thanks to you and Kat.  I¡¯m just overreacting.¡±


    ¡°I understand that you feel vulnerable, and that¡¯s my fault,¡± Bernard insisted.


    ¡°It¡¯s not,¡± Lacey shook off her nerves, cursing at herself for being such a pansy.  ¡°Sure, Colt and I could be assassinated out here, but it¡¯s so unlikely as to be ridiculous.  I¡¯m just being paranoid.¡±


    It was true, but some part of Lacey still worried.  She had to remind herself that even if they did get some overzealous party trying to break the dungeon, they could close it and force them out.  No one could sneak in without the dungeon going red.  They hadn¡¯t even had a single event since Kat¡¯s Dad had left that was even remotely threatening, at least not overtly.  What pissed Lacey off was that she was still acting like she was vulnerable.  Logic said that she wasn¡¯t.  Why did her stomach have to insist that she was?

 Chapter 2.35 – Fighting Your Instincts

    ¡°Are you really safe out there?¡± Lacey hated herself for the whine in her voice.


    ¡°Bernard has guards stationed around us,¡± Colt¡¯s mouth twisted in annoyance.  ¡°If you feel that badly about it, I¡¯ll stay home.¡±


    Home.  The dungeon had become their home.  Goblins bustled by with more stone and supplies for the backyard.  Lacey watched them and wished that they could bring Kat inside instead.  But even that was dangerous.  Sure, Kat could come inside, but with the dungeon red, they wouldn¡¯t even notice an incursion.  They¡¯d talked about sneaking Kat in, but if anyone saw her, it would be the same as announcing that the dungeon was open to invasion while they were taking time off, or worse, sleeping.


    ¡°You should be able to go out and see Kat,¡± Lacey tried to convince herself more than Colt.


    ¡°If you¡¯re going to sit here and worry, I won¡¯t enjoy myself,¡± Colt reasoned.  He was sitting on the wood deck, his back to the stone bench that surrounded the fire pit, playing with Beka.  ¡°I¡¯ve seen her today.  I can last a night without her.¡±


    ¡°Does she know that?¡± Lacey tried to tease him, but it fell a bit flat.


    ¡°I can meet her at the entrance and explain,¡± he looked at her pointedly, tugging on the short length of thick rope he¡¯d fashioned into a tug toy for Beka.  Beka growled playfully and shook the toy.  ¡°We can hang out right there without me ever leaving the dungeon.¡±


    Now that they had the ability to speak through the dungeon barrier, they almost never used it.  The coupons had made that option almost redundant, until now.  Lacey had almost forgotten about it.


    ¡°You can resist touching her?¡± Lacey¡¯s smile was a little more real.


    ¡°It¡¯s like Skype only better,¡± he didn¡¯t take the bait.


    ¡°I¡¯m just being irrational!¡± Lacey protested, her hands waving around her head.


    ¡°Okay,¡± he sounded far too rational for her comfort.  ¡°Let¡¯s go over the worse-case scenario.  You¡¯re good at those.¡±  It was a coping mechanism that he¡¯d learned for her when things had been really bad in college.  ¡°What¡¯s the worst that can happen if I go out there with Kat?¡±


    ¡°You get assassinated,¡± Lacey jumped to the first thought that came to her mind.  ¡°No, wait.  You and Kat get assassinated together while you¡¯re making out in the woods.¡±


    Colt laughed and rolled his eyes at her attempt at humor.  ¡°Okay.  Then we both get respawned and meet back here in a few days.  That means you¡¯d have the horrible task of running the dungeon all by yourself for a few days.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d probably close the dungeon for those days,¡± Lacey imagined the scenario and felt the fear release a little bit, then ramp up again as her mind jumped to another horrible thought.  ¡°But we don¡¯t know what would happen to you if you die here.  You might not respawn.  Or, you might respawn as an adventurer and I¡¯d be stuck here alone in the dungeon forever.¡±


    ¡°And you might have to use your coupons to come out to see me,¡± Colt chuckled.  ¡°And we¡¯d know for sure what would happen if one of us died.  I¡¯m almost tempted to get myself killed out there just to know for sure.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not funny,¡± Lacey growled at him, but he was undisturbed by it and that took all the grumble out of her statement.


    ¡°We don¡¯t even lose the dungeon in that scenario,¡± Colt¡¯s shrug was jostled by Beka¡¯s powerful tugs on the rope.  ¡°I¡¯d get to adventure for a while.  If that¡¯s the worst you can do with that paranoid mind of yours¡­¡±


    ¡°I can do better,¡± she got up from her spot to pace.  ¡°You and Kat are killed, but so is Bernard.  There is a coup and some other faction takes over the fortress that Bernard built.  This new faction kills off all of Bernard¡¯s people and lays siege to the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°Have you counted up all the dungeon closure coupons we have?¡± he countered.


    ¡°Uh,¡± Lacey stopped, her arms dropping to her sides.  ¡°No.  Have you?¡±


    ¡°No, but let¡¯s find out,¡± he waved toward the pedestal.  ¡°Go ask the pedestal.  It knows.¡±


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you already late to meet with Kat?¡± Lacey argued, but she also went inside to check with the pedestal.


    ¡°I sent Ginger with a note that I¡¯d be late,¡± Colt called out to her.


    As she played around at the pedestal, Spark lifted a tired head up off her perch at the very top of the cat tree that one of the Goblin crafters had made for her.  Lacey looked up the numbers, and, sure enough, the pedestal was keeping track of everything.  Lacey paused on the trip back to the patio area to give Spark a scritch under the chin.  Spark gave back a huge yawn full of sharp baby kitten teeth and then gave a half-purr, like she was too tired even for that.


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    The pets had spent the afternoon chasing everything that moved out in the backyard.  Beka had needed reassurance that her playmate didn¡¯t like the black panther better than Beka, so she¡¯d pestered Spark for hours to play.  Every time that Spark had laid down to rest, Beka had whined until Spark had given up on her cat naps.  Until the Goblins had delivered the cat tree, Spark had been coaxed time and again to go back out and chase something new.  Now she lay sprawled in a small fur hammock, exhausted by the puppy¡¯s energy.


    ¡°How much time do we have?¡± Colt called Lacey back onto the patio.


    ¡°A little under a month, altogether,¡± Lacey admitted, letting herself sit next to him.


    ¡°You can survive a month-long siege here by yourself,¡± he was annoyingly logical, which was the point of this coping mechanism for her anxiety attacks.  ¡°In that time, Bernard, Kat, and I can mount an offensive to tear down the very walls that Bernard worked so hard to build.¡±


    ¡°But all that work,¡± Lacey gasped out at the thought.


    ¡°And,¡± Colt interrupted her thought process.  ¡°I would then be a strong adventurer level nearer to Kat¡¯s levels because she¡¯d power-level me.¡±  She opened her mouth to protest, but he talked over her.  ¡°And I could come in here and kill you off with Kat at my side so that you could go out there and adventure until you could also defend yourself without this silly dungeon master limitation.  Don¡¯t tell me that wouldn¡¯t be cool.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯d kill me?¡± Lacey griped, but without heat.  ¡°Just so you and your girlfriend could take over my dungeon?¡±


    ¡°Your dungeon?¡± he laughed at her, letting go of the rope to shake a finger at her.


    ¡°It would be by the time you got high enough to defeat this place,¡± Lacey crossed her arms over her chest.


    ¡°Possibly true,¡± he admitted.


    ¡°Besides, it would be easier to just create all the rest of the levels during the dungeon closure so that I could get to Tier III and be invulnerable,¡± she raised a finger to proclaim.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he smirked at her.  ¡°Or we could do that part together to start with.¡±


    ¡°Oh, yeah,¡± her shoulders slumped, and she sat next to where his back leaned against the bench.


    Colt let her think on that while he lunged at the dog¡¯s toy.  Beka darted away with a furiously wagging tail, bringing the toy back within reach of her human only to pull it back from him the moment he grabbed at it again.  Lacey watched them play and let her mind lose the war with Colt¡¯s logic.


    ¡°Is that it?¡± Colt pushed himself up onto the stone bench beside her.  ¡°Or has your brilliant mind come up with yet another worry?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m looking for something else, but nothing so far,¡± Lacey leaned into him.


    ¡°Good,¡± he wrapped his arms around her in a friendly hug.  ¡°But I¡¯m going to wait right here until you¡¯re sure.¡±


    ¡°Your girlfriend¡¯s going to get jealous,¡± Lacey let her head rest on his shoulder.


    ¡°Nope,¡± Cold reassured her, kissing the top of her head.  ¡°She¡¯s got her own anxieties, but jealousy doesn¡¯t seem to be one of them.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±  Lacey lifted her head to look at him.  They¡¯d had their tests over enough girlfriends who were the jealous type.


    ¡°I think so,¡± his brow creased as if the thought baffled him too.  ¡°She just doesn¡¯t feel that way about you.¡±


    ¡°You talked about it?¡± Lacey pulled back.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he chortled at her skeptical look.  ¡°We do talk, you know.  It isn¡¯t all just hanky-panky kissy stuff in the woods.¡±


    ¡°No way,¡± she feigned total disbelief.


    ¡°Brat!¡± he pushed Lacey¡¯s head back down onto his shoulder.  ¡°Turns out she is the jealous type, but that you are different.¡±


    ¡°What?  Does she not find me a threat because I¡¯m hideous or something?¡± Lacey left her head where he¡¯d put it and relaxed into him, the comfort something that helped seal the portal to her anxiety even tighter than the logic.


    ¡°No,¡± she could feel his chuckle shake her pillow.  ¡°She said she just trusts you that way.  The reasoning that she came up with was that if we¡¯d been friends this long without something happening to spark the romance and make us fall in love with each other, then it wasn¡¯t likely to ever happen.  She¡¯s got an uncle that isn¡¯t an uncle that had that type of relationship with her mom.¡±


    ¡°Reason rarely has any say in jealousy,¡± Lacey argued, but she hadn¡¯t gotten that jealous vibe from Kat at all.  It was more of a curiosity as to why than that she believed Kat was hiding it.


    ¡°Well, more reasoning is that she¡¯s encouraged by my ability to have a friendship with you,¡± he went on.  ¡°She says it means that I know the difference between romantic love and friendship love and that it makes me more likely to resist other women.¡±


    ¡°More women?¡± Lacey jerked up to say, having gotten her fill of reassurance and affection.  ¡°God forbid.¡±


    ¡°Fine,¡± Colt shook his head, but let her go easily.  ¡°I happen to agree.¡±


    ¡°Good, because with more women, your ego would be insufferable!¡± Lacey leaned back with a hand to her chest, her face full of horror.


    ¡°It isn¡¯t already?¡± he teased her, reaching for the tug toy that Beka had left at his feet during their moment.


    ¡°Possibly,¡± she nodded sagely.


    Out of nowhere, Beka appeared to grab and yank on the toy before he¡¯d gotten a good grip.  A fierce, growling battle ensued, the growls coming from both sides of the wrestling match.  He¡¯d gotten yet another female in Beka, and he¡¯d charmed her too.  Lacey let herself relax into the good of the moment, the tension draining from her.  Anxiety was a thief of happiness.  Tonight, it had been caught and jailed by friendship, logic, and a friendly dose of loving tolerance.


    ¡°Go ahead and use a coupon,¡± she offered, relaxed into the idea.  ¡°Ask Kat if she has a brother or something for me.¡±


    ¡°Only child,¡± he winced at the thought.  ¡°I already asked.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Not for you, but if she had brothers and sisters,¡± he laughed at her scolding look and then gave a mock-shudder.  ¡°I never thought I¡¯d be with an only child again, but there it is.¡±


    Colt headed to the shower to wash off the dog smell.  It took Lacey a few minutes to realize he¡¯d been referring to herself as the other only child in his life.  For a moment, she was tempted to be offended, but then she laughed.


    She still stayed up long enough to make sure he came home, not because she was a wreck of worry, but because she cared.  It gave her time to make another dungeon and read two chapters of her book.  The moment she heard Beka woof at his arrival and his assurances to the dog that he was home for the night, Lacey fell asleep in her outdoor bedroom.

 Chapter 2.36 – This Means War

    The change came two days later, and it came in the morning.  Lacey wasn¡¯t sure what had tipped her off, but the dungeon felt different.  The incursions started off normally with the tribute to the elite Goblins at the entrances, but something tight in Lacey¡¯s shoulders had her itchy.  Lacey flipped through the dungeon screens, trying to put a finger on what else had triggered her spidey-sense.  Could she be feeling the dungeon or was it just time for another anxiety attack?


    ¡°Kat isn¡¯t in the groups,¡± Colt said, and Lacey¡¯s discomfort found a cause.  Her nerves ramped up into overdrive.  Why had he been looking?  Had he sensed something too?  She wrangled her whirling mind back.  Of course, he would always be looking for Kat in the dungeon.


    ¡°Something else is off, but I can¡¯t put my finger on it,¡± Lacey admitted, watching the group in the lowest dungeon, the one that had the highest-level rating.


    ¡°You felt it too?¡± Colt was frowning at his screens.


    ¡°I¡¯m surprised you did,¡± Lacey studied his tight shoulders.  ¡°The worst that could happen would be that she¡¯s in the respawn queue.¡±


    ¡°I know that,¡± Colt told himself and he let most of the tension go, like a person without abnormal anxiety could do when reason was presented.  Lacey didn¡¯t begrudge him the ability to do that, but she wished she could learn it somehow.  ¡°But what else is wrong?¡±


    Lacey flipped to another screen and brought up the stats of the group, then had the pedestal summarize it for her.


    ¡°They¡¯re rushing it,¡± Lacey put the thought out there, knowing that Colt would either substantiate or refute it.


    ¡°That¡¯s what I¡¯m feeling too,¡± Colt tapped his fingers.  ¡°Do you think we¡¯re feeling the dungeon?  Some of the help documents say something about that as a possibility.¡±


    ¡°I was thinking the same thing, but I thought I was being stupid,¡± Lacey admitted.  ¡°But it¡¯s the why of it, right?  We¡¯re looking for the explanation for the feeling, right?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    ¡°Group level is high for several of the dungeon levels,¡± Lacey scrolled through the pedestal¡¯s summary.


    ¡°You have the data?¡± Colt got up to look at her screen rather than repeat the summary search.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey displayed the information onto the wall, something they¡¯d gotten on one of their side-quests.  ¡°Every group is close in level to the actual dungeon rating, but if you drill down, they¡¯d fudged the averages by having two low and three high.¡±


    ¡°Kat¡¯s not there, and they are rushing through the levels to beat it quickly,¡± Colt nodded.  ¡°But why?¡±


    ¡°Worst case scenario?¡± Lacey asked, letting her mind go to the bottom of the well of anxiety.


    ¡°Yep,¡± Colt looked to her with his hands on his hips.  His stance was bold and his eyes confident and that helped Lacey use her talent without deep-diving into the anxiety itself.


    ¡°They¡¯re doing a run at wiping the dungeon,¡± Lacey pulled up the worst that she could think up.  ¡°They¡¯d performed the coup overnight and brought their army against us.¡±


    ¡°The coup is irrelevant to us in here,¡± Colt strode back to his desk and flicked his own display up onto the wall so they¡¯d have two screens into the dungeon.  ¡°What is relevant is that with 21 entrances all populated with full groups, we have 105 adventurers in the army.¡±


    ¡°Did you see that?¡± Lacey pointed to his screen on the wall.


    ¡°No, what?¡±


    ¡°That group just breezed through the puzzle,¡± Lacey stood and walked to point at the Thief and Mage of the group.


    ¡°Are you sure?¡± Colt asked, moving the data off of her screen and pulling up another high group.  He flicked through a few until he found one group that was coming up on a puzzle.  ¡°Yep, there it is.  They didn¡¯t even read the directions.¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re players,¡± Lacey pressed her lips together and sighed out through her nose.


    ¡°At least there¡¯s a player who¡¯s given every group the answer, because they¡¯re all breezing through the puzzles,¡± he skipped through screens.


    ¡°And the traps,¡± Lacey paused her screen on another group hopping over a trap that the thief hadn¡¯t searched for at all.


    ¡°That¡¯s concerning,¡± he admitted.


    ¡°Not so much,¡± Lacey let the logic settle her nerves.  She still felt the anxiety, but thanks to their previous discussions, it didn¡¯t own her.  ¡°They don¡¯t know about the levels between them and us.  They don¡¯t know that this is absurd.¡±


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    ¡°Worst case scenario?¡± he pressed her, not to be cruel, but to try to keep control of the situation.


    ¡°Okay,¡± Lacey let her mind consider the idea that they did know.  ¡°Worst case could be that they do know about the levels between.¡±


    ¡°The worst case is that they have a strategy for that too,¡± Colt shook his head.


    ¡°What would that be?¡± she worried at it like it was a puzzle in one of their escape rooms.


    ¡°That isn¡¯t the right question for right now,¡± Colt turned to Lacey.


    Lacey blinked and faced Colt instead of the displays.


    ¡°The right question is, do we close the dungeon?¡± Colt asked.


    Lacey¡¯s lips thinned, and she was surprised to feel a surge of anger at the thought.  ¡°I¡¯m not ready for that, yet.¡±


    Colt cocked his head to the side and gave her his full attention.


    ¡°It feels like defeat, and besides, so far, we haven¡¯t caught them breaking any rules,¡± Lacey lifted her chin.  ¡°There are a dozen trap levels between us and them, and there are thousands of mobs we can empty into the residential areas after that.  Pedestal, show me the adventurer closest to our control room.¡±


    The pedestal pulled up a map, showing the highest-level group as the ones closest to them.  That made sense since they were at the lowest level of the dungeon.  The dungeon went down another dozen levels of trapped mazes before it started coming back up in the area of the dungeon that contained the old residences of all the denizens before most of them moved out and into the backyard.  There was 100 feet of solid mountain between the column of active dungeon levels that went down and the column of the dungeon that housed their denizens.  One had to go all the way down and all the way back up to get to their control room.


    Could someone get through all that to get to them?  It was something Lacey hadn¡¯t thought was possible.  That was why they¡¯d built it that way.


    ¡°Let¡¯s call up the Spunks for the trap mazes,¡± Lacey said.  ¡°Have them rotate the traps of the upper levels so that nothing is in the same place.¡±


    ¡°Ginger!¡± Colt stuck his head out the back door to call into the valley.  Even if Ginger wasn¡¯t close enough to hear, someone was and they would pass the word quickly, especially with that tone in Colt¡¯s voice.


    ¡°Why aren¡¯t we just closing the dungeon?¡± Colt asked Lacey.


    ¡°Because I want to know how they think they¡¯re going to beat us, so I can fix it,¡± Lacey glared at the screens.  ¡°Pedestal, keep the closest adventurer to the control room on this screen until I say otherwise and only use the other screen to answer the rest of our demands.¡±


    The screen flickered back and forth between some of the adventurers in that party as each took the lead in different spots, but Lacey endured the flickering to keep track of how close anyone was.


    ¡°Pedestal, verbal response only on this, but can an adventurer be closer to us and you not show them?¡± Colt asked the air around them.


    ¡°No,¡± the pedestal replied.


    ¡°Even if they¡¯re invisible or sneaking?¡± Lacey asked.


    ¡°Sneaking or invisible adventurers will not be hidden from the dungeon masters in Tier II,¡± the pedestal reassured them in a flat tone.  ¡°They will display as empty space, but the display itself will follow their position.¡±


    ¡°See?¡± Lacey tapped the air between her and the screen.  ¡°They can¡¯t hide from the system itself, and I¡¯d bet that they think they can.¡±


    ¡°Or that we¡¯re not smart enough to look,¡± Colt put in.


    ¡°Ginger here,¡± came Ginger¡¯s panting announcement, but Lacey ignored her as Colt relayed information to her.  Ginger darted back out with a determined look on her Goblin face that made Colt smile.


    ¡°How many unique dungeon levels are we from Tier III?¡± Lacey asked Colt.


    The invaders thought they¡¯d gotten complacent, and in a way Lacey and Colt had done just that.  They¡¯d been enjoying their life while their foes had been planning.  Colt and Kat had been doing their dates out there in the dangerous world, and for all intents and purposes, the dungeon masters had appeared to be resting on their laurels.  They hadn¡¯t expanded their dungeon levels even though they had another ten levels ready to queue up at the next big expansion.


    ¡°We have 13 to go,¡± Colt answered after a quick tally.  He¡¯d known the answer, but he¡¯d double-checked it before answering her.


    ¡°That¡¯s a bigger chunk than I wanted for this, but it¡¯s doable if we use the Zoo modules,¡± Lacey winced at the number.  Colt threw the stats up on the wall, but Lacey only glanced at them before moving on.  Only two of the maze trap levels had been different enough from each other to count as two separate unique dungeons.


    <table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 99.981%" border="1">


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    <td style="width: 98.8563%">Tier III Requirements: 20/20 Entrances, 37/50 Unique Dungeon Levels, 40/40 Dungeon Progress Level, 100/100 Monster Types, 100/100 Dungeon Incursions Repelled, 5,000/5,000 Dungeon Denizens, and 20/20 Unique Monster Types.</td>


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    </table>


    ¡°We can also rearrange some of the residential levels, but we were trying to do all new themes and distinct challenges with completely new ideas, so we were taking our time,¡± Colt reminded her.


    ¡°That¡¯s another two days of work at least if we do it that way,¡± Lacey worried at her lower lip.  ¡°They have to know the time limits of dungeon dives.  They are already almost an hour into the dungeon.  In five more hours, the dungeon respawns behind them and four hours after that, the dungeon will expel them.  If they think they can get to the control room by then, then we don¡¯t have time to get to Tier III for invulnerability.¡±


    ¡°But if they don¡¯t know about the maze trap levels, then just about anyone could get through the adventurer levels in the time limit,¡± Colt shrugged.


    ¡°That¡¯s true, and maybe I¡¯m being pessimistic, but I think they know,¡± Lacey shook her head at the displays.


    ¡°Even if they know about the maze trap levels, they can¡¯t know that we sent Spunks to change them all up,¡± Colt argued, playing devil¡¯s advocate for her.


    ¡°Maybe,¡± she stared at the screen and then felt a hit of inspiration.  ¡°Pedestal, how many Thieves are in each group?¡±


    ¡°There are 23 pure Rogues in the dungeon at this time,¡± the system answered her, but Lacey caught the semantics of it.


    ¡°How many adventurers are there in the dungeon with the skills to locate and disarm traps?¡± she reworded her query.


    ¡°There are 105 adventurers in the dungeon with above-average ability to locate and disarm traps,¡± the system replied.


    ¡°There it is,¡± Lacey snapped her fingers.  ¡°That¡¯s how they¡¯re going to get through the trap mazes.¡±

 Chapter 2.37 – An Army of Thieves

    ¡°They know,¡± Colt breathed out, and Lacey let him have a moment of panic.  They¡¯d been a team long enough that Lacey knew he¡¯d only take a moment.  They had hours.  Even with an army of Thieves, there was no way that they¡¯d get through all the mazes.


    ¡°We¡¯ll save the menagerie for the residential levels,¡± Lacey reasoned once she¡¯d figured he¡¯d had enough time to snap out of it.  ¡°We wait until they¡¯re at least halfway through the maze trap levels and then loose the whole hoard into the residential areas.¡±


    ¡°Why aren¡¯t we closing the dungeon again?¡± Colt repeated his question.  She knew that he¡¯d keep repeating it and that was a good thing.


    ¡°Because we have hours and hours before they even have a chance at breaking through the line,¡± Lacey pursed her lips in determination.  ¡°And I want to see.  I want to see if we made it well enough.  I want to see if they can get close.  I want to see how close.  I want to know how long it takes an army of Thieves to break the Spunk levels.¡±


    ¡°How are you so calm?¡± Colt challenged her, and she realized that she was calm.  Not only that, but her calm was abnormal for her.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± she turned from the screens on the wall to face Colt, knowing she had the time to figure this out.  ¡°I think it¡¯s because, I think we did it.  I think we built something that can withstand the invasion.  I think I¡¯m right and that whoever thinks they can get here in time¡­ they¡¯re wrong.¡±


    ¡°You sure?¡± he pushed it.


    ¡°No,¡± she threw up her hands.  ¡°Not in the slightest, but I¡­¡±


    Her words had sputtered out.  Why was she so sure that she could win this time?  Why didn¡¯t she just close the dungeon, and have it done?  She could be safe.  They could close the dungeon and take their time churning out dungeon levels until they were Tier III, and then she could be really sure that they could be invulnerable to any incursion.  Why was she risking it?


    ¡°I¡¯m tired of running!¡± she admitted, her hands clenching at her sides.  ¡°I¡¯m sick of being scared.  I¡¯m sick of being smaller than the bullies.  I don¡¯t want to hide anymore!¡±


    Colt watched her carefully and she knew that he had a coupon in his pocket, ready to close the dungeon.  He didn¡¯t say a word.


    ¡°I think we can do it,¡± Lacey lowered her voice to say.  ¡°You¡¯ve stood between me and the bullies each and every time.  When they came after me at school because I was awkward and small.  When the university came after me for not having my anxiety documented.  When my dad said I had to stay in college or else.¡±


    ¡°Always,¡± he whispered in the pause as she took a breath.


    ¡°I¡¯m not small this time,¡± she turned to pace.  ¡°The dungeon isn¡¯t small, but they underestimated me, or they wouldn¡¯t even be trying to do this.  If they knew what I¡¯d prepared for, they¡¯d have walked away.  This time feels different somehow.¡±


    ¡°I believe you,¡± he told her.  ¡°I believe in you.  I always have.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s just like with Hughe or even Monty,¡± words came tumbling out without thought, something she could only do with Colt.  ¡°They thought they could take me, us.  They thought they could take what we¡¯d built.  But I was smarter.  I built something with everything I had and this time they couldn¡¯t take it.  I liked it.  I liked it a lot.  I like having something they can¡¯t take from me.¡±


    ¡°The coupon accomplishes that,¡± he pulled it out of his pocket.  ¡°You know it does.  You knew that the bullies at school could be dealt with if we just went to the teachers or something.  But you never knew how to take the easy way out.¡±


    ¡°And you always stood by me in that,¡± Lacey put herself between him and the actual pedestal that he could drop it into.  ¡°I loved that about you.  It wasn¡¯t about getting it to stop.  It wasn¡¯t, even though we probably thought so at the time.¡±


    ¡°Maybe,¡± he lowered the coupon, and they both knew he wouldn¡¯t use it until she asked him to do it.


    ¡°When the college started with the garbage about me being a distraction to other students, and that I had to at least act normal or they¡¯d kick me out,¡± she felt her eyes burning and ignored it.  ¡°I didn¡¯t even know where to begin to fight it.  There was no fighting that bully.  Nothing I did worked.  I begged them all to listen.  Lawyers, reporters, anyone who would listen.¡±


    ¡°I was there,¡± Colt nodded.


    ¡°Even our parents told us I had to buck up and shut up to get that degree,¡± she gulped.


    ¡°They were wrong,¡± he ground out.


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    ¡°But this one I can win,¡± Lacey waved a hand over the screens where Thieves ransacked their main dungeon levels faster than they should have been able to do it.  ¡°We can win this one.¡±


    ¡°They¡¯re cheating and we can use the coupons to defeat them too,¡± he reminded her.


    ¡°We could do that,¡± she deflated a bit, but not because she was ready to quit, not this time.  ¡°We walked away from the college because I didn¡¯t need them to tell me I was smart.¡±


    ¡°You are smart,¡± he insisted.


    ¡°We walked away,¡± she repeated.  ¡°But using that coupon wouldn¡¯t mean I was smart, just that I was rich enough to afford to kick them out.  It¡¯s us cheating right back to use that coupon.  And I don¡¯t want to.  I don¡¯t think we need to do it.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t need this to prove you¡¯re smart, Lace.¡±


    ¡°Need is a strong word,¡± she hedged.  ¡°I don¡¯t need it, but I want it.  I want to win this one, Colt.  I want it so badly I can taste it.  I want to prove that what we did was enough.  If we can do that, maybe my brain will have something to hold onto when the doubts try to drag me down.  Maybe it can be something I can point to and say, there!  I¡¯m smart.


    ¡°Because, Colt,¡± she went on too quickly for him to talk her out of it.  ¡°Whoever is on the other side of this fight is smart.  They are.  They thought of testing us out.  They thought about what it would take to get through the active levels, and they rounded up the people to do it.  Then, oh my god, Colt, they didn¡¯t just rush in to take us on, but they took their time to delve deeper and plan even smarter.  They figured out that we have much more stacked up against the takeover.


    ¡°This person isn¡¯t like Monty or even Hughe,¡± she scoffed.  ¡°Those guys.  They were just bullies, and we stood up against them and we won, but they weren¡¯t smart like whoever this is.  They just weren¡¯t.  And it felt good when we took down Monty and his entitled title.  It did.¡±


    ¡°It also hurt both of us like hell to do it,¡± Colt argued gently.  ¡°I had to watch you out there resetting traps manually, collapsing tunnels, playing bait.  It was hard.¡±


    ¡°But worth it,¡± she took a good long breath and his silence was agreement.  ¡°It gave me back a little of the confidence I had before I got beat up by college.  There college was, another authority figure telling me that I¡¯d never be good enough, normal enough, professional enough.  Sure, I walked away, and we both told me that it was because they weren¡¯t worth it.¡±


    Colt made to interrupt, but she held up a hand to stop him.  ¡°And they weren¡¯t.  They aren¡¯t worth it.  No piece of paper can tell me I¡¯m stupid any more than one can tell me I¡¯m smart.  I guess the dungeon can¡¯t either, but it started to help.  When we beat Hughe the first few times, it was satisfying.  We didn¡¯t become the bullies, but we sure as hell stood up against it with just our wits and the whole system against us.  Then we did it again with Monty.  With our wits.  With our friendship.  On our, on our own merits!


    ¡°We did that, and it started to make me feel like I was worth more than minimum wage and a shitty apartment,¡± Lacey ranted on.  She knew she was sounding crazy, but there was something in the essence of what she was trying to say if she could just get to it.  ¡°I don¡¯t care if it wasn¡¯t supposed to.  I don¡¯t care if I was supposed to be strong enough to stand without a win.  I wasn¡¯t and¡­¡±


    ¡°No one would have been, Lace,¡± Colt tried to step closer, but she backed up, not ready to stop or be comforted yet.  He gave her space.


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t enough for my dad or my mom, and I wasn¡¯t enough for college,¡± she hiccupped and was startled to find her face wet.  ¡°But I¡¯m enough.  We did enough.  We did that.¡±


    ¡°Probably,¡± his mouth quirked with a little smile despite how her tears jerked his heart around.  She could tell because his eyes had gotten red along the edges, even though he was a macho guy and didn¡¯t cry easily.


    ¡°I¡¯m just saying that we don¡¯t need to run from this one,¡± Lacey pointed at the coupon still clutched in the hand that hung down at his side.  ¡°It¡¯s there if we need it, but I don¡¯t think we do.¡±


    Colt shook his head, looking up at the ceiling and she knew that he was thinking about it.  ¡°What about Ginger and Adam and even the Spunks and Rejects?  They¡¯re going to fight for our egos here.  Is that fair?¡±


    ¡°Ask them,¡± she challenged him, pointing behind him.


    They¡¯d gathered a crowd.  Goblins stood shoulder to shoulder with Trugs, Spunks, and Rejects.  They were lined up outside the glass wall watching their dungeon masters fight over whether to fight an invasion.  Some of the Spunks were squeezing by to reset traps and maze configurations, but they left representatives behind.  Colt and Lacey wouldn¡¯t have questioned them.  The Spunks knew their jobs and if they spent prep time learning what they would be fighting for, then they obviously thought it was worth it.


    ¡°Goblins made to fight,¡± Ginger shrugged like it should have been obvious.


    ¡°And the thing is, Colt,¡± Lacey interrupted the movie script that the denizens were all obviously willing to play out for them.  ¡°If it comes down to it, and it means our friends here fighting¡­ if it looks like we can¡¯t win¡­ if they really have the upper hand with their measly 105 army of Thieves, then and only then will we use the coupon to stop it.¡±


    ¡°You know what that means, don¡¯t you?¡± Colt asked the denizen army behind him.


    He was met with confused looks.  They were dungeon creatures, not rocket scientists, so Lacey forgave them for not knowing what Colt had on his silly mind.


    ¡°It means you all need to make sure we win it before they get here,¡± Colt told the crowd of dungeon denizens that had all labored to build the dungeon for just this cause.


    ¡°Thanks, Colt,¡± Lacey sighed out.


    ¡°I mean,¡± Colt rocked his head back and forth with a roll of his eyes.  ¡°What did we build this thing for if not to test it against an army?¡±


    ¡°Silly humans,¡± Ginger shook her head and shooed monsters to go do their jobs, not that they needed a lot of prodding.  Trugs scratched their heads, the least aware of the meaning of the words being thrown around.  Spunks dashed between Trug legs, dragging a few extra Goblins to help out.  Goblins and Rejects headed back to the settlement in the backyard, probably to gather the livestock they¡¯d just herded out there back inside.


    It wasn¡¯t like Adam and Eve hadn¡¯t been running drills for this all along.  Everyone had a job to do, including two very emotional dungeon masters that were too busy crying to do their jobs.  Lacey and Colt took a good ten minutes and then they too went back to work.

 Chapter 2.38 – Welcome to the War Room

    ¡°The third arena level just cleared,¡± Colt reported.  ¡°It looks like they¡¯re going up from that level to the previous arenas.¡±


    ¡°How far along are we on the trap level resets, Ginger?¡± Lacey asked, scratching out the first few lines of the third map since the invasion began a little more than 3 hours before.  She wanted to be on her desk screen monitoring progress too, but it was busy projecting the progress of the nearest adventurer to the control room.  The maps were basic, and they couldn¡¯t input them until the dungeon was clear, but it was something to do that would get them closer to their goals.


    ¡°Spunk teams got first 3 levels done,¡± Ginger replied, her eyes glued to the pedestal screen.  ¡°They work now on levels 4 and 5.¡±


    They¡¯d decided to randomize the traps, but that took time when the Spunks were doing it by hand.  With the dungeon occupied by adventurers, they couldn¡¯t just slide things around from the pedestals.  Lacey itched to go out there and do some of it herself, but she and Colt had agreed that she was better off in the control room, directing the process.  She knew that the Spunks knew what they were doing.  Really she did, but it was tough sitting there drawing mundane maps while the adventurers were getting closer much faster than she could draw enough to complete the quest they¡¯d eventually need for the ultimate protection.


    ¡°I wish I¡¯d put those collapsing Manchester rooms in between the levels,¡± Lacey ran a frustrated hand through her hair.


    ¡°You¡¯ve got them between the lower trap levels,¡± Colt reassured her distractedly.  His eyes were glued to his screens, where he was reading into the help documentation.  Just looking at that stuff made Lacey¡¯s head spin.  They were written like tax codes.  ¡°It¡¯ll be enough.¡±


    ¡°I should have put them after every trap level,¡± Lacey grumbled.


    ¡°Then they might be ready to dig through them,¡± Colt¡¯s eyes lit up at something he was reading, and he quickly swiped through a few screens.  ¡°Got it.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± he grinned at her.  ¡°Ta-da!¡±


    With a little flourish, Colt pinky-clicked and scrolled so that his screen was projecting the third arena party.  He then swiped his screen without changing the display on the wall.  It wouldn¡¯t look like much to anyone else, but she¡¯d been stuck drawing maps of new levels because he¡¯d needed his screen to keep track of the adventurers in the levels and her screen was projecting the progress of the group that was nearest to their control room.  He¡¯d been flicking back and forth between the dungeon progress of the other groups and those help docs.


    ¡°Finally,¡± Lacey tossed her pad of graph paper onto the dining table and tucked the stubby pencil she¡¯d been using between her teeth.


    ¡°I know you hated being blind during all this,¡± Colt darted to her desk to do the same series of odd swipes and multiple odd-fingered clicks on her pedestal monitor.  Lacey watched the maneuver so that she could repeat it herself.


    ¡°There¡¯s just no way I can draw enough dungeons,¡± Lacey started, sitting and flipping through her screens, relaxing now that it no longer changed the display on the wall.


    ¡°I¡¯d need to upgrade it to get it to project more screens, but it¡¯s a start,¡± Colt ran a hand through his hair and moved to the pedestal where Ginger was focused on her screen.


    ¡°That¡¯s 2 more screens than we had before,¡± Lacey swiped between the different levels to see the progress of the invasion for herself, sighing with relief as she realized that there were several levels that were only halfway through.  The arenas were finishing faster than the average, but at least the Bluebeard and Hall of Horrors levels were still holding at the normal pace.  They didn¡¯t have as many puzzles or traps that could be quickly bypassed.


    ¡°Three more screens,¡± Colt professed as a new screen joined the wall.  It showed the progress of the Spunk teams.


    ¡°Nice,¡± Lacey felt some tension leak out of her shoulders.  Being blind had affected her more than she cared to admit.


    ¡°Ginger no watch?¡± their best goblin asked him.  She¡¯d made a lot of progress on reading, and it had increased her dexterity with the system screens, but she still needed relatively simple instructions.


    ¡°Let¡¯s put you on watching the levels,¡± Colt told her.  He spent some time showing Ginger how to swipe between the adventurer level screens.  ¡°The arena groups are going to clear a lot faster with that team going back to help the previous groups.¡±


    ¡°That isn¡¯t a bad plan,¡± Lacey admitted.  ¡°But we¡¯re only 3 hours into this and they¡¯re joining up already.  That could be problematic.¡±


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    ¡°Uh-oh,¡± Colt projected a new screen on the wall from the pedestal.


    ¡°They¡¯re getting through the one-way doors,¡± Lacey stared at the screen.


    The group that had gone back to ¡°help¡± the previous arena adventurers weren¡¯t joining up to get through it quicker.  They were prying their way past the one-way doors and into the leveling mechanisms they used to feed the adventurer rooms.


    ¡°If we didn¡¯t know they were going for a dungeon wipe before, we know it now,¡± Colt nodded.


    ¡°They¡¯d have to kill the breeders to stop the monsters from just coming back out into the arenas,¡± Lacey squinted at the wall projection.  ¡°Did they get lucky in finding it or did they know?¡±


    ¡°They could have gotten lucky in a previous dive,¡± Colt didn¡¯t look like he believed it, but he was the optimist.  Lacey didn¡¯t believe it either.  There was only one person that had found those one-way doors before, and no one had accessed those corridors since.


    Lacey gave Colt a look with a quirked brow.  He rolled his eyes.


    ¡°Yeah, probably not,¡± he conceded.


    ¡°He¡¯s back,¡± Lacey¡¯s mouth twisted.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt mirrored her look and added a long blown out breath to it.


    ¡°At least we know who we¡¯re up against now,¡± Lacey turned back to her screens to flip through the adventurers.  Would she know him?  He was so good at disguises.  Still, he had to be among the lower levels.  The arenas were levels 3-5, 6-9, and 10-15.  ¡°If he¡¯s in the arenas, he¡¯d have been in that last group.  He was what level when we saw him last?¡±


    ¡°Had to have been around level 12 or so, but that was weeks ago,¡± Colt rubbed the back of his neck, staring at his own screens and leaving Ginger to monitor the other levels.  ¡°Kat¡¯s only level 23 and she¡¯s been working the dungeon this whole time.  She should still be at least 2 levels ahead of him.  My thing is that we haven¡¯t heard a thing from him in weeks.  Why now?¡±


    ¡°If he¡¯s been dungeon diving this whole time, he¡¯d be at least level 20 or so, maybe even 23 if he¡¯s been sneaking into twice as many dungeons as Kat has?¡± Lacey reasoned.  ¡°There¡¯s no one in that third arena group over level 17.¡±


    ¡°But we¡¯ve had peace for weeks,¡± Colt protested.  ¡°Why wait so long?¡±


    ¡°There,¡± Lacey pointed at her screen.  ¡°That¡¯s the guy who found the one-way door and he¡¯s only level 16.¡±


    ¡°It couldn¡¯t be him, though,¡± Colt tapped his fingers on his desk and sat back in his chair, trying to work out the problem.


    ¡°Pedestal, what are the details on that player?¡± Lacey asked the air.


    ¡°Level 16 Assassin/Mage,¡± the system replied to her.


    ¡°Pedestal,¡± Colt prodded the system again.  ¡°Can you give any further details on that player?¡±


    ¡°Identity disguised,¡± the system answered him.


    ¡°He¡¯s an assassin,¡± Lacey frowned, annoyed.  ¡°What else do we need to know?  It¡¯s him.¡±


    ¡°Then why isn¡¯t he higher level?¡± Colt didn¡¯t doubt her, but it didn¡¯t make a lot of sense to Lacey either.


    ¡°Pedestal, are there any other assassins in the dungeon?¡± Lacey asked, knowing that they had better things to do than try to chase down Kat¡¯s dad.  Still, she asked because she couldn¡¯t really resist going down that rabbit hole.  To herself, she reasoned that knowing their enemy would help them.


    ¡°There are 4 assassins in the dungeon at this time,¡± the pedestal announced.


    ¡°Pedestal, what are their levels?¡± Colt asked.


    ¡°Level 5 Assassin/Cleric is in Arena 1,¡± the pedestal reported the information without intonation.  ¡°Level 16 Assassin/Mage is in Arena 2.  Level 23 Assassin/Mage is in 3 Monkeys.  Level 24 Assassin/Fighter is in the Floor is Lava.¡±


    ¡°He isn¡¯t the level 5,¡± Lacey flipped through the screens on her desk to switch between each of the 4 adventurers.  ¡°And he isn¡¯t the fighter, so he¡¯s either the level 16 or 23.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s much more likely he¡¯s the level 23 one in the 3 Monkeys,¡± Colt¡¯s brows lowered.  ¡°So why do I think he¡¯s the level 16 one?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, but I think so too,¡± Lacey nodded to Colt.  ¡°The level 16 is the one bypassing the one-way doors.  I know he could have been told the locations, but I really think he¡¯s that one.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m with you, but you¡¯d think he¡¯d be higher level by now,¡± Colt sighed at the display.


    Their wall displays held the furthest adventuring party, the furthest Spunk team, and now the level 16 Assassin/Mage that they thought was Kat¡¯s dad.  The one with the furthest adventuring party also had a timer on it that showed how long the invasion had been running so far, which was 3 hours and 28 minutes.  Ginger dutifully watched the other levels for progress.  With their biggest threats on the wall, Lacey and Colt could focus on their own screens without losing sight of the race.  Lacey flicked a pencil nervously between her fingers.  In 2 hours and 32 minutes, the conquered levels would reset with their full complement of monsters and in another 4 hours, the invasion would be expelled.


    ¡°How does he think he can run the whole gauntlet of all levels in another 6 and a half hours?¡± Lacey wondered at the screens in front of her.


    ¡°He doesn¡¯t know how deep those trap levels go, or that we have another whole other half of a dungeon full of the menagerie to throw at him,¡± Colt answered speculatively, his chair tipped back on the back legs.  ¡°He¡¯s thinking that as long as he empties the first arena levels of everything before the clock hits the 6-hour limit, that they won¡¯t count against him when the dungeon respawns.  It¡¯s what I¡¯d be thinking.¡±


    ¡°But you know the dungeon rules,¡± Lacey pointed her pencil at him.


    ¡°He¡¯s married to the god of the machine,¡± Colt lowered his chin to give Lacey a long look, his chair teetering.  ¡°Is there anything he wouldn¡¯t know about the rules?¡±


    ¡°Maybe, but that goddess of the machine demoted him down into a level 10,¡± Lacey tapped the pencil on her own chin.  ¡°I think she¡¯d try to make it fair.¡±


    ¡°Honestly, it¡¯s not fair to him even with his 105 thieves,¡± Colt spread his arms and hooked a foot under his desk so he could lean back further.


    ¡°One less,¡± Ginger popped a single green finger up in the air.


    They glanced at Ginger and then swiped their screens to note that one of their invaders had died in the Hall or Horrors.


    ¡°We should display the number of invaders on one of the screens,¡± Colt said, adding the number to the wall display that showed the guy they thought was Kat¡¯s dad on it.


    ¡°And number of dungeon monsters,¡± Ginger pointed to herself with pride.  Colt added that number to the final screen with the Spunk teams.


    ¡°Pedestal, save screen setup as War Room display,¡± Colt told the room with a grin.

 Chapter 2.39 – When You Give a Goblin a Few Gossowaries and a George

    The display of numbers that compared the dungeon denizens vs. the invaders was reassuring to Lacey. The number of monsters in the dungeon was going down quickly, but the percentages were still high on the side of the dungeon. Anyone taking bets at the sports book pub that Lacey thought Benny should build outside wouldn¡¯t have given the invaders anything but total longshot odds based on those numbers.


    Lacey¡¯s mind raced with contingency plans, counterattack strategies for the warren of denizen domiciles, war tactics, and even a few retreat plans if it came to that. She¡¯d spent the last hour with Adam and his elite squad going over some of them, but she had to pull back so as not to overwhelm him with possibilities. Eve was little better, but Colt and Ginger were dealing with that side of the army.


    ¡°And if everything totally goes to shit for us?¡± Lacey prodded Adam and the elites. They should know it by now, but she wanted to make sure they knew the final retreat plan.


    ¡°Adam stand on last line while Spunks and Rejects retreat to back yard,¡± he puffed out his chest proudly.


    ¡°And?¡± Lacey gave him her best scary look.


    ¡°And no fight Eve,¡± Adam¡¯s wide mouth pursed in distaste.


    ¡°Eve is standing with you on your side, right?¡± Lacey reiterated, shaking a stern finger at him.


    ¡°Eve know same plan?¡± he challenged back.


    ¡°Yes,¡± Lacey assured him, and gave up trying to convince them to play nice together. It was like mediating between her divorced parents, and since Lacey didn¡¯t do that in the real world, she wasn¡¯t going to do it here either. ¡°And we have donuts for everybody at the afterparty.¡±


    ¡°Donuts!¡± Adam and the elites tended to salivate in a gross way when she brought up their favorite goodies. Between the popcorn, granola bars, donuts, and chocolate bars that they were doling out of the snack cabinet, Lacey was pretty sure their goblin hierarchy was going to be fat by the end of the war.


    ¡°Yes, but only if you and Eve can work together, so be good,¡± she wasn¡¯t afraid to wave both the carrot and the stick at this point.


    ¡°Fine,¡± Adam grunted, grabbing the arm of his second in command and heading toward his spot at the base of the warrens.


    Adam, Eve and the highest leveled goblins would be the first line of defense, backed up by 200 gossowaries from the menagerie and a bevy of other creatures that complimented the goblin and gossowary army. The Trugs had all been deployed to their dungeon level, but the ceiling of the largest chamber was where hundreds of bats and blurgs, the little creatures that shot blobs of acid out of the lacework bodies, had been deployed. Snucks were being lined up along the back wall, ready to slither forth between the long gossowary legs. Burrugs were burrowing into tunnels beneath the cavern to surprise adversaries from underground, crocorats happy to follow along and help in the tunnel making for an interesting whack-a-mole setup, if the moles had crocodile heads and teeth.


    Even if all the monsters deployed in the first warren¡¯s main room could be demolished at 5-1 odds against the intruders, they had orders to retreat through the maze of rooms back into the next room where yet another roomful of the menagerie were waiting to back up the first wave. The rooms in between were littered with piollows, the poisoned pillows that Lacey and Colt hadn¡¯t really known what to do with. The hundred they¡¯d summoned had been far more than they¡¯d needed for some of the pit traps in the main dungeons, but them and the occasional ghoffin to harry the remaining adventurers through those rooms, Lacey figured it would slow what was left of the adventurers brave enough to chase the monster army from the first wave.


    Even the krettles, smugs, and krowls had use in the rooms between waves of the monster army. They, like the piollows, had been fun to place in a few places in the main dungeon, but a hundred of each had left quite the overflow of them. Having lost some inspiration during that race to complete the unique monster creation quest, Lacey had drawn a bunch of household stuff, like rugs that could smother a person that she¡¯d called Smugs. The krettles were large kettle-like cooking pots made of what looked like cast iron, except that it had crab legs. Krowls were their bowl-like cousins, only they had spiked spider legs that were tucked under the bowl until it was disturbed.


    They had enough gossowaries for 3 waves, but the later waves didn¡¯t have as many snucks and they¡¯d had to replace some of the ceiling slamps, a vampiric slug that couldn¡¯t fly, but were being stuck to the ceiling to wait for their chance to fall on and suck dry some adventurer. As far as some of their larger mobs, they had a few breeding pairs that they kept out of the main dungeons. The two-headed owlbears, peacomelos, e-cheels, and droffles were scattered in with the second two waves. The menagerie had been breeding extras for weeks. Those weeks had consisted of nights that actually lasted 8 days every night due to the time compression that happened when they slept. That didn¡¯t even count the water habitat that existed beyond the three waves.


    Maybe they really did have enough to beat back even an army, even if they did get past all those trap levels. Lacey, looking over the plans and the fact that the army of thieves actually consisted of many low-leveled adventurers, thought maybe it was overkill. Sure, there was a whole group of max-leveled adventurers with levels in the 40s and one that was level 50, but ever since Ginger had started out-leveling the dungeon, so had the Rejects sought to level their charges up past the dungeon limit. They had gossowaries at levels past 55. The dungeon itself had been a leveling machine, gaining at least a level every time they opened the doors in the morning and then again when they took in another wave of adventurers in the afternoon.


    The final retreat if everything still went to hell for them was to hide a troop of Spunks, led by Ginger, to hide in the dungeon. Once the trap levels had been bypassed, Ginger and her troop would sneak by and into trap corridors using Georges that allowed them to melt right through the walls themselves. Colt and Lacey each had one of the original Georges to try to hide themselves as well, but they really hoped it wouldn¡¯t get that far. This hide-and-seek portion of the retreat was more to run out the clock than anything else. If the army of thieves couldn¡¯t kill every single mob in the dungeon, then they couldn¡¯t wipe the dungeon and they couldn¡¯t kill what they couldn¡¯t find. The rest of the dungeon denizens, ones that were more maintenance than combatant, would be evacuated into the backyard where they couldn¡¯t be killed. They didn¡¯t count as dungeon denizens once they were evacuated, but the backyard was protected from them being destroyed.


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    Once Lacey was sure that battle plans were in place and evacuation plans were being practiced around those plans and further setup, she let herself go get a packet of peanut butter crackers from the snack cabinet and a soda from the ever-full ice bucket. It was a little like polishing one¡¯s resume. You always felt like you were amazing once you¡¯d gotten done cataloguing everything you¡¯d ever done and buffed it up so that it all sounded amazing.


    ¡°What would happen if we sneaked a few of the highest-leveled gossowaries up into the low levels right now?¡± Lacey asked Colt as he walked in with Ginger on his heels.


    ¡°I thought we had a plan,¡± Colt reached for his own snack, his eyes darting to the displays just like Lacey¡¯s had.


    ¡°I¡¯m just talking about one Reject and 3 level 55 gossowaries being let loose in the arenas to clear out all those lower-leveled adventurers,¡± she suggested, crumpling up her cracker wrapper and tossing it in the trash.


    ¡°And take out one too-big-for-his-current-britches assassin/mage?¡± Colt got a cruel glitter to his smile. ¡°He¡¯s got to be the one who raised this army and hatched this helicopter parent plot. I thought you wanted to go head-to-head against him.¡±


    ¡°I mean, I do, but,¡± Lacey started, then paused to take a long drink of her soda and think the think of it. Why not take out the cannon fodder early? ¡°What if no one from the lower levels reaches the higher-leveled groups. Would they still go deeper? Would they even have enough trap detectors to make it work?¡±


    ¡°They think so,¡± Colt considered, peeling back the wrapper on a long stick of dried meat. ¡°Do you think 3 gossowaries could take out a whole group of them?¡±


    They looked at each other and then laughed at that thought. At level 55 and against a group of level 20 and under adventurers, it wouldn¡¯t even be a snack for the gossowaries.


    ¡°I thought you were worried about the opposition looting one of the good Georges,¡± Colt pointed at the map in two places. ¡°It would take a good one to get through here and here.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s why we send the Reject,¡± she explained. ¡°Henry¡¯s smart enough to loose a gossowary and then dart back inside and stay inside if it gets hot out there.¡± Henry was the head honcho of the Reject society and the smartest of them. He was the only one she¡¯d trust with a George that could melt a doorway through 10 feet of stone and then seal it back up again like nothing had happened. The newer, nerfed Georges only went through about 2 feet of stone, and they¡¯d learned from the old days (all of maybe a month before) that a determined adventurer with the strength of 21 or higher could break through that kind of wall without breaking a shoulder or something.


    ¡°How would we get them all the way up there in time?¡± Colt bit into his jerky stick and chewed. They both looked at the map displayed on her desk¡¯s screen as Ginger went back to the main pedestal with a twinkie in her hand and a bit of cream on her lips.


    ¡°If they leave now with a good George, they could slip right by the end of the levels they haven¡¯t completed yet, wipe out the lower levels and just work their way back until they reach a group they can¡¯t defeat,¡± Lacey pointed at the path through their maze.


    ¡°Hardly sportsmanlike,¡± Colt tapped his chin with the meat stick. ¡°Then again, they¡¯ve already broken the rules by crossing dungeons.¡±


    They¡¯d built a system of stairs between the dungeons that allowed adventurers to go from one level to another one, but to fight on another level wasn¡¯t allowed. Going to a higher level was silly, considering that another group would have already cleared out most of that level by the time that happened. Even if they met up with a higher-level group, they didn¡¯t share experience between groups and the higher-leveled group would almost always steal the experience from the lower-level group.


    It wasn¡¯t just cheating. It was also just silly unless you were trying to make a run at a dungeon wipe, so they¡¯d made it against the rules. That made it so that they weren¡¯t breaking the contract with Bernard and country by simply eradicating the lower levels. They¡¯d started it by crossing levels. The dungeon had a right to defend itself at this point. There was probably a grey area on whether or not the dungeon had a right to take out the other groups that hadn¡¯t yet broken the rules, but they doubted Kat, Bernard, or his country would blame them for taking action.


    ¡°Some of the higher levels are about an hour from finishing, so we don¡¯t have much time to put it together,¡± Lacey contemplated it and then tapped the screen again. There was an empty room on each level where they normally parked their elevator. ¡°Or we could just put a few gossowaries or even the extra ghoffins or e-cheels into the areas here between the levels to catch those wanting to cross the levels. Then we¡¯d be covered if they whine that we broke the rules first.¡±


    ¡°That sounds more fair,¡± Colt nodded. ¡°We don¡¯t have to be the big bad dungeon who kills anyone who breaks the slightest rule, so that¡¯s good.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s what I was thinking, but also, if it wasn¡¯t for Bernard and the contract we signed, we¡¯d be fighting incursions like this more often,¡± Lacey set down her bottle of soda and picked up a pencil. ¡°We don¡¯t need them getting so far along that they see all our defenses right off. I was watching the higher groups and the bigger ones have maps.¡±


    ¡°Maps?¡± Colt pinched out to zoom in on a section on the Templar Trials that was ranked at levels 44-47. ¡°Why would they need maps?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m thinking that they¡¯re not the players,¡± Lacey tapped the eraser of the pencil on the forehead of the fighter-looking one of the group. They were trying to bypass the puzzle, so they had the map or paper in front of them. The fighter was pointing at where the magnets should move on the blind maze and the mage was moving it. ¡°Players gave them the information, and players then supplied maps so that the upper groups could get by without them.¡±


    ¡°If we watch them, we could pick out the ones with maps and know for sure,¡± Colt shrugged and snagged a sip of her soda.


    ¡°Get your meat breath off my soda bottle,¡± Lacey protested, pulling it out of his hands with a mock scowl. ¡°We could do that, but why bother?¡±


    ¡°It could help us narrow down which one has Kat¡¯s dad is in,¡± Colt sucked at his teeth in annoyance, but he went to get his own soda instead of fighting her on it.


    ¡°He¡¯s in the arenas or he¡¯s in the 3 Monkeys,¡± Lacey took a drink and set her bottle back down. ¡°What difference does it really make? We could even be wrong on both of those and he¡¯s hiding even better as a cleric or something. Do you really care?¡±


    ¡°I just want to make sure he dies early,¡± Colt reasoned, untwisting the top with a hiss of half-trapped foam.


    ¡°Why?¡± Lacey asked.


    ¡°Because he¡¯s the mastermind,¡± Colt insisted, taking a drink. When Lacey just looked at him, he went on. ¡°First, he¡¯s the best trap person they have because I¡¯m pretty sure nobody nerfed his skills, at least not as much as they should have since he¡¯s been way too sneaky since he resurfaced. Second, no matter what level he is at, do you really want him planning the strategy if they actually get to the warrens?¡±

 Chapter 2.40 – Counting Coup

    Did she?  Did they?  Did they want to neutralize the brains of the operation against them?  Lacey tapped the pencil against her chin as she thought about it.  It would be so easy.  All they¡¯d have to do was unfairly wipe out any character under the level of 25 and then let the hoard take out the rest in the larger caverns of the warrens.  If it was war, that was exactly what they should do.  Was it war?  Or were they a dungeon in a game, designed to provide a challenge that met those adventurers head on?


    ¡°When did we decide to just kill everyone who broke our rules?¡± Lacey turned to Colt.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m just asking,¡± Lacey turned from the monitors to pace away from the problem.  It wasn¡¯t something she did a lot; pacing.  ¡°Are we a dungeon or just a leveling machine?¡±


    ¡°Where is all this coming from?¡± Colt looked at her like she¡¯d lost her mind.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know yet,¡± she stopped to look out over the valley behind the dungeon.  Rejects went about their duties like it was any other day.  They plowed, planted, herded.


    ¡°They came after us first,¡± Colt reminded her, plopping down in her chair.


    ¡°Yes, Monty and Hughe,¡± Lacey didn¡¯t take her eyes off the valley.  Some of the goblin crafters were working on housing and workshops.  ¡°The system even tried to corner us into its way of doing things.  They came at us when we were small, and they made us feel vulnerable.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s what bullies do,¡± Colt leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.


    ¡°Bullies,¡± Lacey turned back to Colt, but her eyes flitted over the war wall and she had to look away again.


    ¡°Lace, you¡¯re not making any sense,¡± Colt pressed his palms together and rocked them between his knees.  ¡°We don¡¯t have much time to make this decision.  I¡¯m cool either way, but we should decide before time runs out.  I¡¯m leaning toward wiping out the mastermind before he gets close enough to do some real damage.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t think our dungeon levels, trap levels, and 3 backup armies are enough?¡± Lacey shrugged.  Lacey took a deep breath and turned to deal with the war wall and Colt.  ¡°Do you see those numbers?  We outnumber them almost 100-1 and we have mobs higher than most of them.¡±


    ¡°And we worked hard to build all this up,¡± Colt argued.


    ¡°Who is the bully here?¡±


    Colt jerked back to sit up straight, his brow furrowed.


    ¡°That¡¯s what happens,¡± Lacey waved a hand at the stats on the screen.  ¡°Weak people get bullied, and they get mad to cover the trauma.  Then they get powerful, or at least they try to.  And when someone new comes along, they hit first so that they don¡¯t get hit.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re defending ourselves from an invasion!¡± Colt stood and it was his turn to walk away from her.


    ¡°We¡¯re a dungeon,¡± Lacey reminded him gently.  ¡°We are supposed to be invaded.  That¡¯s what we planned for, and I¡¯m not saying that we just let them waltz all the way to the end zone and steal our lair, but we don¡¯t have to do it that way.¡±


    ¡°This is a crazy time to come up with a conscience,¡± Colt growled, trying to see whatever she had seen through the glass wall of the control room.  ¡°We have contracts, and they broke the rules.  We have the right to respond with prejudice.¡±


    ¡°You know what?¡± Lacey cocked her head to the side.  ¡°Even Kat and Benny have been trying to push us around.¡±


    Colt whipped around to stare at her, eyes narrowed and hands on his hips, but she cut off his angry retort.


    ¡°They had all the best of intentions, and they were nice about it, but they still sat out there and told us how to run our dungeon,¡± Lacey shook her pencil at him.  ¡°It was nice not to be vandalized and attacked long enough to get our feet under us, but even they tried to control us with contracts and rules.¡±


    ¡°Without those contracts, we¡¯d have been trashed daily,¡± Colt¡¯s voice rose.


    ¡°I¡¯m grateful,¡± Lacey held her hands up to him.  ¡°I am.  I swear.  But even you have to admit that we are more of a leveling machine than like any kind of dungeon.  Is that the kind of place you wanted to make?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what kind of place we should make, but I¡¯m not calling our saviors out as bullies,¡± Colt stood firm.


    ¡°Bullies was harsh and I don¡¯t mean that they forced us into anything, but,¡± and Lacey¡¯s logic stuttered out.  ¡°I don¡¯t know, but maybe it feels like we let them tell us what kind of dungeon we are.¡±


    ¡°They didn¡¯t tell us to make burrugs and crocorats,¡± Colt objected, his hands dropping to his sides.  ¡°They didn¡¯t tell me how to make a level that was based on macaroni and cheese, and they didn¡¯t tell you to throw something together like the Bluebeard level.  We¡¯re using puzzles and traps that are all us, not them.¡±


    ¡°But they told us how to cycle the groups through and we¡¯re more like an amusement park trying to balance death rates, compensation tables, and amusement,¡± Lacey didn¡¯t actually know why she felt so adamant about this.  She was working it out by talking with Colt.  This was what she always did, but he rarely got upset at her.  She was more used to him playing devil¡¯s advocate than being annoyed with her.


    ¡°If you don¡¯t want to wipe out the guy who¡¯s trying to bully us, fine,¡± Colt crossed his arms over his chest.  ¡°But you need a better reason than trying to call Kat a bully for helping us learn the business side of the dungeon building game.¡±


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    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s probably fair,¡± she admitted with a wince.  ¡°I know we needed that help, and I don¡¯t think she or Bernard were bullies, but maybe¡­ I don¡¯t know.  But doesn¡¯t this guy have the right to play against us too?¡±


    ¡°What?!¡± Colt rolled his eyes at her.


    ¡°What?¡± Lacey shot back at him.  ¡°You want your opponent to ask your permission before they move their chess piece on the board?  You want the cheat sheet for the entire world before you¡¯ll play the game?  I don¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°We did not have a cheat sheet,¡± Colt¡¯s eyes widened.  ¡°We didn¡¯t even have a manual!  The instructions weren¡¯t even in English!!!¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± and she cracked a smile at that.  ¡°But we did okay.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not making any sense!¡± he turned his eyes to the ceiling and kept them there.


    ¡°Okay, maybe look at it from another direction,¡± Lacey pulled the closure ticket out of her pocket.  They¡¯d taken to carrying at least one around at all times, just in case.  ¡°We can use this anytime, right?¡±


    ¡°Right,¡± Colt took his eyes off the ceiling and allowed himself to look at her again.


    ¡°So, why not let them try?¡± Lacey waved the coupon in the air.  ¡°We don¡¯t have to be the bullies.  We can let them come all the way to the door and still keep everything we built.  Not that I think they¡¯ll get that far.¡±


    ¡°Damn right they won¡¯t,¡± Colt grumbled, his arms still over his chest.


    ¡°If we kill them all or use the coupon, then we have to resurrect everyone on our own dime,¡± she pressed on.  ¡°But if we can get even one of them to retreat then the dungeon automatically repopulates completely.  Sure, we could just run out the time, but that¡¯s no better than using the coupon.  What is our real win scenario?¡±


    Colt¡¯s frown got contemplative at that.


    ¡°One of them has already died, so we can¡¯t double our experience and loot with that, but as long as we can convince even one person to exit the dungeon voluntarily, both sides win,¡± Lacey spread her hands out to her sides.  ¡°Does killing off all their little guys do that?¡±


    ¡°Even the war wipe-out plan doesn¡¯t do that,¡± Colt¡¯s arms loosened, but didn¡¯t drop yet.


    ¡°We just lost sight of the real win scenario,¡± Lacey took a few steps toward Colt.  ¡°We got caught up in the need to not be bullied.¡±


    Colt pursed his lips.


    ¡°And do you really think that the NPCs, the ones that don¡¯t ever act like this is one big game, are going to back out without at least one player out there being able to reason out that going against the hoard is futile?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s an ass,¡± Colt glared at her.


    ¡°But he¡¯s a smart ass and I¡¯d rather have a smart ass than a dumb ass to reason with,¡± Lacey raised her eyebrows at him.


    ¡°I¡¯d rather not deal with the ass at all,¡± he sighed.


    ¡°You like Kat though, right?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but even she doesn¡¯t like her dad,¡± Colt tried to keep up the huff, but he was seeing reason.  ¡°She wouldn¡¯t blame me for kicking his ass.¡±


    ¡°No, but maybe he¡¯d respect you more if you could show him how out of his league he really is by taking us on,¡± Lacey seized the logic.  ¡°If we let him get in close and then rub his nose in the fact that we only let him think he was winning?  If we show him that you are not only smarter, but better than he is.¡±


    ¡°That sounds,¡± Colt¡¯s tone turned liquid with evil joy, ¡°delicious.¡±


    ¡°So,¡± Lacey rubbed her hands together as Colt¡¯s arms dropped to his side and she knew she¡¯d figured out what had been bothering her about all this.  ¡°Let¡¯s define our win scenario.  Our real win scenario.¡±


    ¡°To have that supercilious, pompous smart-ass have to admit that we not only defeated his army, but that we could have done it over and over again for days and days,¡± Colt¡¯s eyes glittered.


    <hr>


    Dom jammed his crowbar into the slight wedge between rocks as his cohort distracted the emerging beetle.  The crowbar twisted in his hands, and he slid a shoulder into the opening.  Gio made quick work of the beetle, since it was easily 4 levels below them and a very basic creature.  They¡¯d lost one of their group already, but that was only because they¡¯d been startled by the levels and aggression of the breeders.  They hadn¡¯t attacked him during his first foray into the dungeon, but they¡¯d been less than a tenth of his level back then.  Now that he was within 10 levels, the beetles attacked immediately and with great vigor.


    ¡°If you¡¯re done,¡± Dom grunted to his mates.


    ¡°Coming,¡± they kept their talk terse, knowing that the dungeon could be listening.


    Gio went through first, followed by Mel and Tag.  Dom ducked his head down to push through, letting the one-way door drop like a flap, automatic reflexes grabbing the handle to keep it from making noise at it closed.  He didn¡¯t think he needed the precaution, but old habits couldn¡¯t be undone with god-card demotions.  His skills were going back up quickly, though it still rankled.


    ¡°Uh, D,¡± Gio was saying as Dom stood.  They weren¡¯t using names.


    ¡°What?¡± he asked, but Dom saw it as soon as his head rose over Gio¡¯s shoulder.


    ¡°This for you!¡± the large goblin handed the envelope to Dom.


    Dom examined the goblin automatically.


    Elite Goblin Chief ¨C Level 57


    The goblin glared at Dom with one eyebrow quirked up in a way that let Dom¡¯s stomach clench with dread, not that it showed.  Gio hadn¡¯t attacked it because to do so was suicide and this wasn¡¯t supposed to be a suicide mission.


    Dom took the envelope, his elegant hand steady and casual.  The goblin leaned in, keeping hold of its side of the envelope for a moment longer than necessary.  Dom didn¡¯t fight the creature.  Could they take the goblin?  Probably not, but Dom might have pressed his luck if not for the larger gossowary behind the goblin.  Its leash was held by a small centaur-like monster that Dom hadn¡¯t seen in the dungeon before.  The baby centaur thing was cooing to the more antsy gossowary on the other side of it.


    Gossowary ¨C Level 59


    Gossowary ¨C Level 58


    Dom waited patiently for the goblin to let go of the envelope, his cohorts parting like the Red Sea to let the beast¡¯s grinning face draw within inches of Dom¡¯s nose.  It was close enough to smell popcorn on its breath and Dom had to press his lips together not to smile at the incongruity of the threat with the memories he had of popcorn.  Dom let the breath ruffle the lock of black hair that drooped over his forehead, careful not to do anything to provoke it.


    The goblin backed away, its smile of pointy teeth never dimming.  It spread its hands wide suddenly, causing his buddies to jump back so that there was a very clear column between it and Dom.  The sword it its right hand swung forward to point at Dom.  The goblin backed up, sheathed his sword, and then gave a mockingly slight bow and wave, inviting Dom and his group to continue their progress through the arena¡¯s back areas.


    <hr>


    ¡°That¡¯s one,¡± Colt spoke into the dungeon audio system so that it echoed in the small chamber where Dom and his group stood.  At least they were pretty sure that it was Dom.


    Lacey and Colt watched the man shake his head with a bemused smile.  He touched the envelope to his forehead and swiped it away as if to salute them.  They waited as he opened the envelope and broke into a surprised laugh.


    ¡°That¡¯s two,¡± Colt said and then shut off the audio so that they couldn¡¯t be heard.


    Inside the envelope was one of their many dungeon closure coupons.


    Dom, and they were both sure that it was Dom at that point, reached into a pocket of his pack and pulled out two items.  One looked like a slip of paper and the other was a pen..  He¡¯d taken their coupon from the envelope and exchanged it for one of his own.  Lacey frowned as he then scribbled on the envelope.


    The whole group warily passed the goblin and company, Dom shaking his head.  She saw the hint of a smile on his face, though.  Was it bad that she felt the same smile on her own face?

 Chapter 2.41 – Keeping Score

    ¡°It¡¯s a coupon for an extension of the dungeon diving time limit,¡± Colt frowned over the envelope that Adam had brought back. ¡°Prick.¡±


    Dom had drawn a scoreboard on the envelope with his name on one side and Colt and Lacey¡¯s names on the other. Under their column, he¡¯d put a two, an admission that they¡¯d scored points. Under his column, he¡¯d written a one, probably for the coupon he could have played. Seeing as they hadn¡¯t even known such a coupon had existed, Lacey was willing to admit he¡¯d scored one of his own.


    ¡°We¡¯re scoring on how many times we could kill him,¡± Colt groused.


    ¡°I¡¯m willing to admit that his coupon was at least close to equal to ours,¡± Lacey dropped the envelope and coupon on the table between her and Colt. ¡°Our closure of the dungeon wouldn¡¯t have killed him, but it would have stopped the coup. His coupon might not have handed him the victory, but if it negated or somehow blunted our closures, it would have put a kink in our plans to just wait him out.¡±


    ¡°Barely,¡± Colt sneered at the stupid envelope.


    ¡°It would depend on whether he has as many of those coupons as we have of ours,¡± Lacey shrugged and got up to give the enlarged Adam a hug. Adam wasn¡¯t normally this big, but Eve had helped buff him up in size with a spell they¡¯d given her from a previous Mage Gauntlet.


    ¡°Adam scare,¡± the Goblin puffed up his chest.


    ¡°You did a great job, Adam,¡± Lacey patted him on the shoulder with a grin.


    ¡°If he¡¯s going to count stuff like that, how are we going to keep ahead on the scoreboard,¡± Colt waved a hand at the envelope.


    ¡°Colt, don¡¯t be silly,¡± she laughed, getting up to go back to her desk. ¡°We just proved that we knew he was here, that he¡¯s behind it all, that we could have kicked him out or killed him over and over right now, and that we were the bigger people to allow him to continue.¡±


    ¡°I guess I just wasn¡¯t ready for him to have a counter to any of our stuff.¡±


    ¡°That was optimistic,¡± Lacey chided him. ¡°He came prepared. He¡¯s scouted the dungeon for days at least and he planned for what he knew of us. He doesn¡¯t know as much as he thinks he knows.¡±


    ¡°Aztec Tomb clear,¡± Ginger broke into their conversation.


    ¡°That¡¯s the second group to finish a level,¡± Colt got up to swap the Spunk monitor to the group that had just finished up the Aztec Tomb. The Spunks had moved forward another two trap/maze levels, and now that they weren¡¯t changing the whole layout anymore, they could move quicker. They still had to increase the lethality of the traps on the lower floors.


    Lacey glued her eyes to that wall display. This was the first group to finish that might still turn around and leave. She didn¡¯t think that was their plan, but it was possible. They were levels 30-33. They¡¯d breezed through the puzzles and traps of the level, obviously well-informed, but they were also too high of a level to likely be players. What they did would tell her a lot about the overall plan. She¡¯d been thinking about it since they¡¯d seen Dom¡¯s group go back into the previous level to clear the hidden rooms.


    The only hidden rooms in the Aztec Tomb were the trap corridors. This group hadn¡¯t tried to breech those corridors, yet. The previous level was the Coral Reef. If this group was equipped with water gear, then they could go to the level 29-31 Coral Reef and meet up with the group that was about two rooms from the end of it, or they could do what Dom¡¯s group had done and try to breech the trap corridors. Dom knew the arenas, but he shouldn¡¯t know that the Coral Reef just didn¡¯t have the corridors because Spunks couldn¡¯t swim. Would they go looking for them?


    On the other hand, if the group headed down to a lower level, they could meet up with the group that was doing the Haunted House. It was only a level or so above the group. Either way, they were in for a surprise. According to the clock, they could just breeze through the first sections of the Haunted House level. The other group had already cleared the graveyard outside the house and were almost to the attic, which would give them the finale and an option to exit or go up a level.


    All the levels worked the same way. If a group got to the end of one level, there was a safe room and passage to the next level. At the beginning of that level was an entrance that they¡¯d use to exit the dungeon on a normal dive. Dom¡¯s group had had to go all the way back to the beginning of their level to go backwards to a previous level. This group opted to go to the Haunted House, or at least they went that direction and stopped near the entrance.


    ¡°Turn up the sound on that one,¡± Lacey instructed Ginger, who had gotten the hang of the system much quicker than she was learning writing and reading.


    <hr>


    Al and Bob waved their group to sit and regain mana and health, not that they needed much. They took ten minutes to eat and patch up their Mage, but they weren¡¯t as guarded in speech as Dom¡¯s group had been. Lacey and Colt only knew the names because they¡¯d been talking to each for a while.


    ¡°Experience is good,¡± Bob told Al, dropping his pack at his feet before letting himself lean against the wall.


    Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Al grunted. ¡°Just like he said it would be. Makes the night sessions worth it.¡±


    ¡°Too bad we¡¯ll forget it all again when it''s all over,¡± Bob fished a ration out of his pack.


    ¡°It¡¯s a good solid place,¡± Al sat, his back to the wall. ¡°I just hope we don¡¯t get banned for this. It¡¯d be a shame to lose out.¡±


    ¡°And miss out on the opportunity to be the first to wipe it?¡± Bob shook his head, talking around the chunk of dried fruit in his mouth. ¡°I hear the rewards for first wipe are enough to buy a title or two.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know if I believe all that,¡± Al waved the guy off.


    ¡°Shut it,¡± hissed the Mage. ¡°We¡¯re supposed to be pretending to be a normal wave.¡±


    ¡°If we were fooling anyone, we wouldn¡¯t be now that you¡¯ve spilled it,¡± Bob snapped at the Mage.


    ¡°Boo!¡±


    The wall opened behind Bob and three huge Gossowaries lunged out of the hole. There were screams at first, but the Mage was pretty quick to try to ramp up a spell. This group had gotten one of the Elite Goblins, enlarged the same way Adam had been. The Reject pulled hard on the leashes, but one of the Gossowaries still managed to take a bite out of Bob¡¯s hind end as he scurried away from the wall he¡¯d been leaning on.


    ¡°Not kill you, dumb ass,¡± the Elite Goblin laughed out. ¡°But I could.¡±


    ¡°What the hell?¡± Al stuttered out, his meal in the dirt at his feet.


    ¡°Those things are level 50!¡± the Cleric warned them, and Bob slid his sword back into its sheath, a sudden sense of the situation dawning on his face in a satisfying way.


    ¡°Give to Dom,¡± the Elite Goblin announced, shoving the envelope at them.


    ¡°Who¡¯s Dom?¡± the Mage tried to pretend.


    ¡°No open until Dom,¡± the Goblin pulled the envelope back and glared the warning at the only one brave enough to reach for the envelope.


    ¡°Yeah, okay,¡± Al nodded, but he was obviously not a rule follower.


    The Goblin held onto the envelope while grinning into the face of Al, the Rogue. Al tugged and the Goblin didn¡¯t move, showing that the Goblin was far stronger than Al. The staring match was interrupted by a Gossowary snapping at Bob, who had bent to pull a dagger from his boot, thinking to stab the Goblin in the back. The Goblin didn¡¯t even flinch.


    ¡°No open until Dom,¡± the Goblin repeated, reaching out to poke Al on the forehead.


    The Goblin let go of the envelope and laughed as Al fell on his butt. Al was not amused but rather gained some gumption as the Goblin backed into the opening behind him. Al lunged to try a left hook at the Goblin¡¯s sharp teeth. He lost a finger when the Goblin playfully snapped at him. The Goblin was chewing as the wall closed.


    This envelope held a piece to a puzzle. It was a puzzle they weren¡¯t prepared to solve yet. There were another 18 pieces to find. It also held an updated scoreboard for Dom that gave them credit for another point and acknowledged his one measly one next to it.


    <hr>


    ¡°That¡¯s three,¡± Colt announced throughout the dungeon, making it echo on the walls. With a flick, he turned the sound back off. They hadn¡¯t had much use for the audio system since they¡¯d won it back in their first few quests.


    Most of the groups had no idea what it meant, but they watched Dom roll his eyes at them. The remaining groups, those that weren¡¯t too distracted by a fight, huddled together for long minutes trying to figure out what it all meant. Lacey and Colt couldn¡¯t listen to them all, but they could watch several and the paranoia was real.


    ¡°Cleric leaving,¡± Ginger announced, pointing at the screen with the group they¡¯d just taunted on it.


    They turned up the sound to hear an argument between the Cleric and Al. The Cleric had decided that the operation was blown, and he wasn¡¯t going to stay and lose the experience he¡¯d just gotten. Al was gripping the Cleric¡¯s arm.


    ¡°I¡¯ll take my chances with the Count,¡± the Cleric said as he jerked out of Al¡¯s grip and through the entrance.


    ¡°He¡¯ll ban you,¡± Al called out, but the Cleric was gone.


    The number of intruders went down by one. That also meant that they¡¯d actually gotten someone to voluntarily retreat. They could wipe the whole incursion now. Lacey knew that somewhere in her head, but it was hard to believe they¡¯d won just yet.


    ¡°Dom¡¯s not going to like this,¡± Bob said in a low tone to Al.


    ¡°He¡¯s also not going to like that you¡¯re dropping his name all over the place,¡± the Mage shushed them again.


    ¡°You want to join him?¡± Al snapped at the Mage, pointing to the entrance.


    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t dare,¡± she snarled back, and they glared at each other for a while, but nothing came of it.


    It was the first time that they¡¯d heard anything about what was happening outside the dungeon. Lacey wanted to know, but she had enough to keep track of without worrying about things she couldn¡¯t change or help with. At least it was a clue that he was okay and probably not on the invader side. Lacey hadn¡¯t thought that Benny had turned on them, but knowing was better.


    ¡°We knew that already,¡± Colt muttered, then turned to Lacey. ¡°You were right, this way is better. It¡¯s at least more satisfying.¡±


    ¡°Did you see that?¡± Lacey pointed at the screen with the time on it.


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°The time jumped,¡± Lacey glared at where the wall screen showed Dom¡¯s group.


    Dom stood there with two fingers held up on one hand above his head. The time for the invasion had gone up by three hours. He¡¯d used a coupon. The result was different than they¡¯d expected because as Lacey scrolled through a few dungeons, several groups stopped their chatter and went back to work as if Dom had snapped at them to shut up.


    ¡°And they all know what it means,¡± Lacey told Colt.


    ¡°What does it mean though?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not like they can talk to each other, but they probably see it as a sign from Dom that the plan is still moving forward,¡± Lacey¡¯s brow creased, and she waved at her screen. ¡°See? They¡¯re buckling down.¡±


    ¡°If I was down there,¡± Colt nodded his head as he too flipped from screen to screen. ¡°I¡¯d be watching the timer for how long we had to complete the mission. And a jump up on that timer would mean a lot to me.¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey agreed. ¡°It would mean that the plan was still going, and maybe that stealth wasn¡¯t necessary anymore. It would also mean that Dom¡¯s still alive and in charge.¡±


    ¡°Killing him would have been easier,¡± Colt complained, but he held up a hand when Lacey would have defended the decision. ¡°No, I still agree that this way is better. Harder but more satisfying for sure.¡±


    ¡°How did it affect our ability to use a coupon to close the dungeon?¡± Lacey blurted out the thought that had been worrying at the back of her mind.


    ¡°Looking,¡± Colt didn¡¯t panic, but he was reading some kind of fine print that would have made Lacey¡¯s brain hurt so she didn¡¯t push him. She really wanted to do so, but she pressed her lips together to keep from saying anything to distract him. Lacey distracted herself from distracting him by pessimistically planning for Dom having dozens of these coupons. The one he¡¯d sent in the envelope had been for an hour extension.

 Chapter 2.42 – Revenge MADness

    ¡°The coupon details are up now, and they don¡¯t totally negate our ability to close the dungeon, but the coupon will delay it,¡± Colt announced. ¡°We can play our coupon anytime, but it will not become effective until half the time of the extension has passed.¡±


    ¡°That sounds convoluted, and I know you simplified the help document¡¯s explanation,¡± Lacey worried at her lips with her teeth.


    ¡°It¡¯s not that bad,¡± Colt shook his head. ¡°It just gives him an extra hour and a half, and that¡¯s if we play a closure now, but our closure time is also halved if we play it before the full time of the expansion has passed.¡±


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t make it sound simpler,¡± Lacey complained but she got the gist of it. They could have a battle of the coupons to see who had the most, but what it boiled down to was that they halved each other. ¡°Does it stack?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, just like our coupons do, but they are halved for every coupon played against it,¡± Colt winced at the explanation he knew was going to hurt her head. ¡°So, like, he¡¯s played a three-hour one, and if we played a six-hour closure coupon, it would only count as a three-hour closure and would take his three-hour extension down to an hour and a half. If we played another six-hour closure on top of it, it would again count as a three-hour one, but it would halve his time again, making it 45 minutes instead.¡±


    ¡°But if he stacks them before we do?¡± Lacey put her fingers to her temples.


    ¡°Then this whole thing builds exponentially until the coupons are almost worthless except to stop the other person from playing them,¡± Colt figured, trying to shrug off the math of it with a half smile. ¡°Don¡¯t sweat it. We can outlast him without it.¡±


    ¡°Unless he has another trick up his sleeve,¡± Lacey picked up a pencil just to have something to fiddle with.


    ¡°He probably does, but he can¡¯t get past everything,¡± Colt assured her.


    The coupon had pushed back the original six-hour reset timer that would have respawned the rooms behind the groups. The incursion was doggedly pressing further into their levels and would be completing much faster as they all got closer to the end of their individual levels. Lacey squinted at the wall projections and gave herself some time to study this cleric-less group that was just sitting out in the empty graveyard.


    ¡°What are they waiting for?¡± Lacey said, more to distract herself than because it might matter.


    ¡°The other group is almost done,¡± Colt let her change the subject, giving a relieved sigh that he didn¡¯t have to try to make the coupons simpler.


    ¡°Why not just join up and end it faster?¡± Lacey scowled at the layabouts as if they worked for her instead of Dom.


    The enlarged Elite came bouncing in, his gossowary entourage close behind. He and Adam fist bumped and grinned at each other, but they didn¡¯t interrupt.


    ¡°Who knows?¡± Colt got up to fetch his reward from the snack cabinet.


    They were paying the Elite Goblins for their performances with microwave popcorn. The snack cabinet took a minute to pop it before belching out the contents.


    ¡°Whatever,¡± Lacey grumped at the screen.


    ¡°Good job, Moe,¡± Colt tossed a steaming bag to the elite. Adam was already halfway through his treat.


    Eve got a chocolate bar for every cast of her Enlarge spell and the buffs that went with it. The Elites all got popcorn. The Rejects got granola bars, half of which they fed to their charges. Lacey doubted that the system had meant for the cabinet to be used this way, but it was working for them, so Lacey was hoping they didn¡¯t nerf it anytime soon.


    ¡°In any case,¡± Colt closed the cabinet only to open it again for a treat for Beka, ¡°that deserter means that we can break even at the very least.¡±


    Lacey nodded, getting up to pace again, just needing to move. Even with Dom¡¯s coupon threat, they were way ahead of the game. With as long as they¡¯d been collecting the coupons, they¡¯d win that war without breathing hard. She knew that he hadn¡¯t looted those coupons in the dungeon. They didn¡¯t make treasure like that. What did that mean?


    ¡°Remind me why we aren¡¯t just slaughtering them all?¡± Colt pressed.


    ¡°Because they can¡¯t win,¡± Lacey threw her hands up.


    ¡°They think they can, or they wouldn¡¯t be trying it,¡± Colt argued, bending to give Beka a scritch behind her ears. ¡°Are you sure you aren¡¯t just being too nice?¡±


    ¡°Nice?¡± Lacey barked out a laugh. ¡°I don¡¯t think nice is why I¡¯m letting them live. Slaughter is too easy and too good for them. What are they going to learn if we just send the whole menagerie against them? What¡¯s Kat¡¯s dad going to learn?¡±


    ¡°Not to mess with us?¡± Colt¡¯s eyebrows rose.


    ¡°They¡¯d come back,¡± Lacey shook her head. ¡°They¡¯d level up and return. The only reason they respected the dungeon levels was that they wanted the element of surprise. Why else would they send lower-level groups into the lower levels? They didn¡¯t have to do that. They could have just packed in the groups with all maxed out NPCs. This whole thing is a matter of MAD, and that¡¯s the best that he can hope for in this silliness.¡±


    This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work.


    ¡°MAD?¡± Colt asked, having to search back to an old social studies class they¡¯d taken in high school. ¡°Mutually assured destruction? Like the nuclear race during the cold war?¡±


    ¡°Like that old movie, War Games,¡± Lacey gave him a pointed look, taking a pencil from her desk as she sat down. She needed something to fiddle with. ¡°Only they learned that MAD only resulted in revenge where no one could win.¡±


    ¡°Do you think they have that many high levels in the camp?¡± Colt frowned and Beka followed after him as he returned to his desk chair. ¡°Could they have the nuclear option waiting back there?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s just it,¡± Lacey stared out their window into the back valley. ¡°Why don¡¯t they? And we don¡¯t know what¡¯s going on out there.¡±


    ¡°Do you think Kat¡¯s okay?¡± Colt let himself ask.


    ¡°Respawn queue or held hostage?¡± Lacey shrugged. ¡°She¡¯s okay, but how okay? Besides, it¡¯s not like her dad¡¯s going to do anything nasty to her.¡±


    ¡°Hostage?¡± Colt looked more contemplative than alarmed. ¡°We could do that. We could take Dom hostage and keep him half alive. That way he couldn¡¯t respawn. We¡¯d just jail him. Put him in dungeon jail like we did when Adam and Eve were being assholes.¡±


    ¡°We can¡¯t modify the dungeon with him inside,¡± Lacey gave Colt an indulgent smile.


    ¡°Maybe we could keep him out in the back valley,¡± Colt mused, and Lacey let him get his frustrations out with the thoughts of revenge. ¡°Chain him to the plows and let the Rejects use him as slave labor?¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± Lacey asked.


    ¡°If we could close the dungeon and keep him inside?¡± Colt rubbed his hands together. ¡°We could slam him in a dungeon cell and turn on the time dilation. He¡¯d spend five years in a cube of dirt. Let him pick that lock.¡±


    ¡°Fill his orifices with clay and light him on fire while Eve heals him?¡± Lacey chided Colt. It wasn¡¯t that she hadn¡¯t been thinking about her own revenge plans.


    ¡°Dunk him in the river like the witch trials?¡± Colt added, but Lacey just rolled her eyes.


    ¡°We can¡¯t close the dungeon with him in it, or maybe I¡¯d be inclined to agree,¡± Lacey turned her mind back to more reasonable plans.


    ¡°We could run out his coupons,¡± Colt posited. ¡°We¡¯ve got to have more than he does.¡±


    ¡°And we could do lots of other nasty things too, but what would that accomplish?¡± Lacey finally snapped at Colt, tired of the revenge game. ¡°We hit them hard. They hit back the next time, only then they know what they¡¯re up against.¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that the point?¡± Colt protested.


    ¡°No!¡± Lacey insisted, her tone sharper than she wanted it to be. ¡°We could capture him and strip him of all his coupons, but he¡¯d be right back out there gathering more.¡±


    ¡°And we¡¯d be in here gathering more,¡± Colt shrugged, tilting back on his chair again.


    ¡°He¡¯s only level 17!¡± Lacey threw up her hands. ¡°We should be stripping him of everything, but we aren¡¯t. We¡¯re playing the game. We¡¯re letting them run the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± Colt boggled at her.


    ¡°Because he didn¡¯t do it when he was level 77,¡± Lacey put her hands on her hips and paced to her desk. ¡°And he had the chance.¡±


    ¡°No way!¡± Colt slammed his chair down with a creak. ¡°Kat waylaid him outside.¡±


    ¡°He was in the dungeon before that,¡± Lacey persisted, figuring it out even as she said it out loud. ¡°He was exploring our one-way doors and probing our setup long before Kat said she¡¯d go out and take care of it.¡±


    ¡°But,¡± Colt put his forehead in one palm.


    ¡°He could have wiped the whole dungeon at level 77,¡± Lacey pressed her point. ¡°Instead, he got busted down to a level ten and then disappeared for weeks. Where was he? Why did he even come back? What¡¯s his deal in trying to run the dungeon now when he hadn¡¯t before?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s an ass is why.¡±


    ¡°Yes, yes,¡± Lacey shook her head at him. ¡°He¡¯s an overprotective asshole dad that wants to test your mettle and make sure you¡¯re good enough for his grown daughter. That¡¯s what you¡¯re thinking. Right?¡±


    ¡°Well, yeah,¡± Colt looked at her like there wasn¡¯t much else to see in it.


    ¡°And that goddess of the system is out there letting him do all that?¡± Lacey presented the idea like it was reasonable, even though she hadn¡¯t even considered it before that moment.


    ¡°She busted him down in levels to make it fair,¡± he pointed out.


    ¡°And she gave us a snack cabinet and the back valley and trips home to Mom,¡± Lacey cocked her head to the side.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt admitted, then snapped his fingers. ¡°But she let Hughe and Monty take their shots at us when we weren¡¯t even sure what we were doing?¡±


    ¡°And that guy that apologized for how hard that was on us?¡± Lacey raised an eyebrow. ¡°Saying that the trips home were her apology?¡±


    ¡°She didn¡¯t stop the system from testing our mettle,¡± Colt said, his mouth tense. ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t she allow the same thing with hubby-poo?¡±


    ¡°So he could mess with her baby girl?¡± Lacey gave him a dubious look.


    ¡°To protect her daughter,¡± Colt considered it, but she could tell that even he didn¡¯t believe it.


    ¡°Kat seems able to protect herself just fine,¡± Lacey argued.


    ¡°He doesn¡¯t seem to know that so maybe she doesn¡¯t either.¡±


    ¡°But she¡¯s packing our snack cabinet, giving us showers, pizza parties, pets, a whole monster society, and everything else we¡¯ve even started to think we wanted,¡± Lacey started ticking things off on her fingers.


    ¡°Not everyone is as reasonable as you are,¡± Colt grumped.


    ¡°Zoo Two and Snow White cleared,¡± Ginger interrupted their argument and brought them back to the urgency of their situation.


    Lacey darted to her desk to watch what the groups did as they cleared their levels. Colt turned to his screen too.


    ¡°Haunted House is clearing now,¡± Colt reported. ¡°It looks like they¡¯re staying in the last room.¡±


    Lacey brought up that screen. One of the group was standing at the attic window with something, looking down on the graveyard where the previous level¡¯s group was still sitting around like bumps on a log. There was a flash of light.


    ¡°Did they just use a mirror to reflect the moonlight down as a signal?¡± Colt asked.


    ¡°Looks like it,¡± Lacey agreed. ¡°The group is getting up. I¡¯m guessing that they¡¯ll meet up now.¡±


    ¡°They knew that there was a way to signal from that window,¡± Colt waved a hand at his screen, and she knew that he was switching to other groups.


    ¡°That would be the only level they could do that on,¡± Lacey scrolled through screens to see what the others might do.


    ¡°Looks like the other levels are just strolling through the cleared level to catch up with the next group,¡± Colt tapped his screen. ¡°Only the Arena levels went backward.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because only the Arena levels have those one-way doors that house the hatcheries,¡± Lacey nodded, the strategy making more sense as she watched them. ¡°We haven¡¯t needed to employ that method since the beginning, with all the monsters we¡¯ve created being more than enough to fill the new levels.¡±


    ¡°That and we had the funds to just spawn them up with the level on the new ones,¡± Colt mirrored her nod.


    ¡°And would you look at that?¡± Lacey tapped a stray pencil on her screen. ¡°He¡¯s leveled.¡±


    ¡°Dom?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Lacey pressed her lips together. ¡°That¡¯s another reason he wanted to go back and clear the hatcheries.¡±


    ¡°He couldn¡¯t get enough levels in one run of the dungeon to even come close to threatening us, though, right?¡±


    ¡°Black Knight cleared,¡± Ginger called out.

 Chapter 2.43 – Dancing in the Rain…of Blood

    The levels were completing faster now, just as they did in a normal run. The groups that completed their levels were moving forward and meeting up with the next group, except for the arenas that were still being cleared by Dom¡¯s group. At the end of each level, the groups would be met by the Elite assigned to hand over the envelope and puzzle piece, along with the score tally. Colt had stopped announcing the score, since Dom didn¡¯t even know what it meant, not really. Dom hadn¡¯t gotten the envelopes yet.


    The groups, surprisingly, didn¡¯t try to open the envelopes. A few of the more curious compared notes on the outside and/or felt the bump of the puzzle piece on the inside, but they didn¡¯t open the envelopes. Lacey wouldn¡¯t have been able to resist.


    Making a puzzle was easier than people thought. Lacey had drawn two images and pasted them on either side of a clean part of an old pizza box. She¡¯d then used a very sharp dagger to cut the uneven square into jagged pieces that could be fit together in only one way. Each image was a rebus puzzle.


    ¡°The lowest dungeon is clearing,¡± Colt prodded Lacey to look up at the screen showing the closest group to them. ¡°Do you think they¡¯ll head into the traps or wait for the rest?¡±


    ¡°Actually, I¡¯m more interested in the group that just cleared the Coral Reef,¡± Lacey had her chin propped on her palm as she stared at her own screen. ¡°They aren¡¯t as smart as the other groups in accepting the Elite¡¯s envelope.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s the level 40-42,¡± Colt flipped through screens to watch the scene playing out. ¡°Are they really going to fight the Elite and Gossowaries?¡±


    ¡°Maybe they think they can take them,¡± Lacey mused, knowing that the group was way outclassed. Colt and Lacey had sent Adam with that one, and he had five Gossowaries between the levels of 50 and 53.


    ¡°They were wrong,¡± Colt winced as one of the Gossowaries took a very large chunk out of the side of their leader¡¯s neck, causing an impressive spray of blood. The Reject holding the leashes let go and the other four Gossowaries attacked the remaining adventurers.


    The Knight of the group tried to step between the soon-to-be-dead leader and the Gossowaries, thinking that his armor would save him from the tooth-filled Gossowary beak. Adam took that moment to step up and ring the Knight¡¯s helmet so intensely that the guy stumbled back from it. With a hard shove, Adam toppled the Knight as the Gossowaries surged forward eagerly. The Cleric and Mage were casting but they¡¯d be too late.


    The leader fell just under the Knight, whose full weight toppled onto the now-dead leader. Gossowary beaks were sharp and vicious, but their plate-sized feet were even more dangerous. The full weight of a Gossowary stomping was enough to begin to crush the armor of the Knight. Gossowaries were only ever happy when they could attack things and eat. This Gossowary was tap dancing on the tin can that used to be a Knight, using its wings to keep balance as it used its full 300 lb bulk.


    Meanwhile, Adam slid deftly around the Gossowaries to stab into the belly of a Mage, whose spell sputtered out as his eyes glazed over. The Cleric got a heal off on the Knight only to compound the suffering of his friend. Healing a body that was being crushed inside a tin can wasn¡¯t the best use of his mana. The Cleric joined the Mage on the floor, but Adam had been smart enough to slice the head off the Cleric. Leaving the gutted Mage to bleed out and get trampled by the Gossowaries, Adam gleefully ran after the Rogue that was trying to escape back into the water of the dungeon they¡¯d just exited.


    ¡°Should we save the little guy?¡± Lacey¡¯s hand paused over the intercom button that would allow her to tell Adam to let the guy go.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare,¡± Colt grunted out, his grin reminding Lacey of the Gossowaries.


    Lacey winced, but she¡¯d paused long enough for Adam to hoist the spry Thief up onto his sword, the body squirming as it slid down the long blade to halt at the crossguard. From there, Adam took a bite out of the man¡¯s face like he was eating a kabob. Lacey switched back to the Gossowaries, but it wasn¡¯t any better there. Stomping and squawking gleefully, they made quick work of the whole party.


    ¡°Shouldn¡¯t they have had more health points than that?¡± Lacey tried to get herself to imagine that the puddles were rainwater and that the Gossowaries were just playfully dancing in the aftermath of the storm, but she was pretty sure she¡¯d see that gruesome image in a few nightmares in the future.


    ¡°They were NPCs for sure at that level,¡± Colt watched the massacre with a smirk. ¡°They tend to be weaker than the players.¡±


    ¡°Still, they seemed weak for that level.¡±


    ¡°The Gossowaries are crazy underrated,¡± Colt¡¯s eyes were glued to the screen. ¡°And Adam is super-buffed.¡±


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    When Lacey looked back down, the Reject was trying to gather up leashes soaked with blood. Adam was snacking on his limp kabob with a gleam in his eyes. It struck Lacey that they hadn¡¯t been doing Adam and the rest of the monsters of the dungeon any favors. These were monsters that wanted to play, and from the way the Gossowaries were still dancing in the puddles of blood, this was play to all of them. Adam was beaming with prideful power, twice his size, and three times his normal agility and strength from Eve¡¯s buffs.


    ¡°Adam looks so happy,¡± Lacey wondered softly.


    ¡°Well, yeah,¡± Colt laughed out. ¡°He was made for this shit.¡±


    ¡°They all were,¡± she looked up and smiled too.


    It occurred to Lacey that she¡¯d been trying to protect them all this time. Adam had grown fat with even the Elites getting lazy, but underneath these were mobs that had worked hard to level up their skills and abilities.


    ¡°Anything that¡¯s ten levels above one of these groups is going to wipe the floor with them,¡± Colt tilted back on his chair, his grin one of play instead of malice.


    ¡°Maybe I just didn¡¯t realize how much we¡¯d grown,¡± Lacey let herself smile a little, wondering if maybe she was getting a little too ruthless for her own good. Colt was okay with it.


    ¡°Kat!¡± Ginger pointed at her pedestal screen, the one that wasn¡¯t projected on the wall.


    ¡°Where?¡± Colt sat up with a thump of his chair legs.


    ¡°Coral Reef,¡± Ginger bounced.


    ¡°She¡¯s too low for that level,¡± Colt frowned, standing as if he could run out there to save her.


    ¡°It¡¯s cleared anyway,¡± Lacey reminded him. ¡°Most of the levels are now.¡±


    ¡°Kat!¡± Colt had triggered the intercom so that it only echoed into the entrance of Coral Reef.


    ¡°Colt?¡± Kat spoke to the room. Kat stood on a beach that seemed to stretch into the distance on either side in a dungeon-illusion way. Beside her were four others, a full group and Benny was one of them. Other than Kat and Bernard, there were three of Bernard¡¯s best guards, all ranging in level from 60-63.


    As Lacey realized that Bernard himself, the highest level in the camp, was near to their own top levels, she was hit with the fact that Bernard would soon be delving into the dungeon in a way that would get him experience. Had they really leveled that far?


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt¡¯s cheeks got flushed as he transitioned from bloodthirsty dungeon master to flustered boyfriend just as his girl shows up to where he and her dad are duking it out. ¡°What happened?¡±


    ¡°We came in as soon as a level cleared!¡± Kat professed, running a hand through her hair. ¡°A full group had to die for us to push in, but we¡¯ve been testing the barrier for hours. Are you guys okay?¡±


    ¡°Well,¡± Colt grinned like a kid, finding words slowly. ¡°Yeah, yeah we are. You didn¡¯t think we could get wiped this easy, did you?¡±


    ¡°I swear to you that we were not complicit with this invasion,¡± Bernard said. He was in full armor, something Lacey had never seen before. He looked good in glimmering leather studded with lethal-looking metal spikes. He held a long sword in one hand and a shield in another, with a set of flutes hanging from his neck and a drum strapped to his back.


    ¡°Benny, baby,¡± Lacey decided to join the conversation a little more playfully than Colt. ¡°You are looking good. What brings you to the dungeon?¡±


    ¡°We heard of the invasion just after breakfast, but they broke into the dungeon before we could stop them,¡± Bernard remained formal, but Lacey thought she saw his shoulders relax a bit at her teasing. ¡°My men have been pressing the barrier since we figured it out. As soon as one of them passed the barrier, I gathered the best of my men to come help defend the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°We never thought you were part of this,¡± Colt assured them all. ¡°Not even for a minute.¡±


    Lacey had considered it for a moment, but she was glad her pessimism had not born fruit.


    ¡°Good,¡± Kat grunted out. She had her sword drawn already and both she and Shadow were obviously fuming. ¡°Now where is my idiot father?¡±


    ¡°Uh,¡± Lacey tried to stall, not sure why.


    ¡°He¡¯s in the second Arena,¡± Colt threw up his arms as if they could see his indignation. ¡°Clearing out the hatcheries behind the one-way doors.¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s moved into the first Arena with the group from the second Arena,¡± Lacey said quieter. ¡°He¡¯s about half wiped it out, but¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll kill him,¡± Kat ground her teeth and started pacing toward the previous level.


    ¡°Kat!¡± Colt called frantically, but Lacey was saying the same thing at the same time.


    ¡°Kat, you can¡¯t go through that level,¡± Lacey took over, letting Colt catch his breath. ¡°It isn¡¯t clear yet and the mobs are at 39-41.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s why I brought Bernard and his crew,¡± Kat didn¡¯t stop.


    ¡°Kat stop!¡± Lacey tried again.


    ¡°When I find him, I¡¯m going to blind him, fill his ears with plaster, cut his tongue out, and remove his limbs. Then wrap him in heavy chains attached to big hunks of stone and metal and dump his carcass into a bottomless well!¡±


    ¡°That was,¡± Lacey paused, wondering if she felt that vehement about her own father, ¡°vivid.¡± Having never felt that passionate about her dad, she realized that she just didn¡¯t care enough about the man. Sure, there was resentment, but it was as mild as their lack of relationship had been cold. ¡°Kat, wait.¡±


    ¡°Kat!¡± Colt called to her again as Kat stomped toward the final room of Soft Earth where 20 buried Trugs were just waiting for anyone to step foot on their soil.


    ¡°We¡¯re okay here,¡± Lacey changed tactics as Kat stomped toward certain death with Bernard barely keeping up with her. ¡°I swear to you. We got this!¡±


    ¡°She¡¯s right, Kat,¡± Colt jumped on the bandwagon eagerly.


    ¡°He¡¯s got weird coupons that you might not know about,¡± Bernard tried to say as he and his men chased Kat. ¡°But Kat, they are correct in stopping you.¡±


    There were so many words that Kat made it all the way to the door to the Trug level. Bernard had to grab her hand to keep it off the doorknob. Kat turned to swing at him, but being less than half his level made dodging her child¡¯s play.


    ¡°I¡¯m not letting him fuck all this up just because he¡¯s an asshole,¡± Kat balled up her fists and grudgingly kept them at her side as Bernard stepped between her and the door.


    ¡°We don¡¯t need to do their dirty work for them,¡± Bernard pointed toward the door with a stern look. ¡°If that room is not cleared, then we shouldn¡¯t clear it for the enemy.¡±


    ¡°Oh,¡± Kat frowned, her teeth clicking together audibly, even over the sound system.

 Chapter 2.44 – The Courage of Friendship

    Kat stood with her arms crossed over her chest, her fists clenched so hard that Lacey was sure Kat¡¯s own nails were drawing blood. Lacey just wanted to reach out and pat her on the shoulder. Bernard, wisely, didn¡¯t touch Kat again. Their group had retreated back to where a Goblin Elite stood with a confused look on its face, the Gossowaries behind him glaring at Bernard and his party warily. Bernard stood between the huge Goblin and Kat. Lacey was pretty sure that Bernard could take out the Gossowaries, but the Gossowaries didn¡¯t know that and they were ready to try their luck. Their handler struggled with the leashes. The Elite waved the envelope at the ceiling with a shrug and grunt.


    ¡°I¡¯m just saying that we have this covered,¡± Colt told Kat.


    ¡°Moe, can you just hold onto that envelope and wait to give it to the next party, please,¡± Lacey told the Elite Goblin. ¡°This isn¡¯t the right group.¡±


    If you¡¯ve never seen an Enlarged, super-buffed Goblin pout, you haven¡¯t missed much. Moe grunted and spat at the floor between the groups, but he also retreated to their hidden alcove. The George also retreated, leaving a nice solid wall behind it. All that was left of the confrontation was a Spunk¡¯s silly giggle.


    ¡°We do not understand,¡± Bernard turned from the wall after examining it carefully, probably using a Detect Secret Door ability of some sort.


    ¡°I get that,¡± Lacey blew out a breath. ¡°But this time we don¡¯t need saving.¡±


    ¡°For once,¡± Colt muttered, the truth of what Lacey had said settling on his shoulders.


    ¡°You don¡¯t know what tricks he has up his sleeve,¡± Kat started.


    ¡°Like coupons that negate our ability to shut down the dungeon?¡± Lacey ticked off what they knew so far. ¡°Like that he has Thieves all ready to disarm the traps we have set up between us and them?¡±


    ¡°Well, yeah, those things,¡± Kat waved her hand at the ceiling. ¡°But he also has maps!¡±


    ¡°For all the levels and solutions for all the puzzles,¡± Colt told her. ¡°We know. We saw them bypass the puzzles with the solutions. He¡¯s got a few players, but they¡¯re mostly NPCs at the higher levels.¡±


    ¡°He convinced the convoy here that you were conning me into giving up far more resources than we admitted,¡± Bernard explained.


    ¡°That we didn¡¯t know,¡± Lacey admitted. ¡°But I don¡¯t think it¡¯s going to matter. They just don¡¯t have enough to get all the way through the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°How did he convince the whole convoy?¡± Colt asked.


    ¡°He traveled back with the messenger I sent for more participants, and he reworded the message so that it seemed to ask for reinforcements,¡± Bernard sneered. His guard didn¡¯t relax as they waited. They were checking the walls and surroundings as if they could come alive at any moment. They weren¡¯t far off. ¡°I suspect that he replaced my messenger with himself, but I cannot prove that yet.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll prove it as soon as I get my hands on him,¡± Kat stomped the heel of one boot into sand at her feet.


    ¡°Get in line,¡± Colt muttered.


    ¡°He¡¯s my idiot father!¡± Kat shook a fist at the ceiling. ¡°I get first dibs.¡±


    ¡°Not if I have any say in the matter,¡± Colt said, but he¡¯d turned off the mic.


    ¡°He came after us,¡± Lacey tried reason. ¡°And thanks to you guys letting us get our feet under us, we¡¯re ready for it. We¡¯re grateful and all, but we are prepared to repel him and his army of Rogues.¡±


    ¡°Army of Rogues?¡± Bernard spoke over Kat¡¯s mumbling.


    ¡°He needs them to bypass the trap levels we have set up between the highest level and our control room,¡± Lacey explained. ¡°But he doesn¡¯t realize that we have an army even beyond that.¡±


    ¡°You have more levels than you offer up to the groups we¡¯ve sent in?¡± Bernard asked.


    ¡°Of course,¡± Lacey answered him.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t trust us to keep the peace?¡± Bernard gave a rueful little smile at that.


    ¡°We trust you,¡± Colt tried to answer, but Lacey waved him off.


    ¡°We do, but not everyone has your sense of honor, Bernard,¡± Lacey tried to be diplomatic. ¡°We do need to be able to stand on our own feet.¡±


    ¡°That you do,¡± Bernard¡¯s mouth twitched, and Lacey wondered if he was annoyed or proud. She thought he was proud of them, but it was an unfamiliar thing for her. Her dad had never been proud of her. First, she¡¯d been a pawn in his divorce and then she¡¯d been a duty he resented. Having a father figure show pride in her would probably make her chest all tight or something.


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    ¡°We would have told you, but we tend to talk about how the fortress is shaping up rather than the depths of our dungeon,¡± Lacey said. ¡°Not that I didn¡¯t ask about that incessantly, so I¡¯m not saying you were ignoring us or anything, but you know, it¡¯s good for us to have a backup just in case, you know?¡±


    ¡°And it¡¯s a good thing we did,¡± Colt put in, and Lacey winced, not needing his help.


    ¡°You can¡¯t control every single variable out there, Bernard,¡± Lacey quickly talked over Colt, who just looked confused at her. ¡°We don¡¯t blame you for this.¡±


    ¡°No, I blame my father,¡± Kat sulked, and Lacey found herself comparing the girl to the Elite behind the wall a hallway away.


    ¡°We¡¯re not saying for you to go home,¡± Lacey again tried for soothing tones.


    ¡°NO!¡± Colt added.


    ¡°We¡¯re just saying that you don¡¯t have to worry,¡± Lacey picked up a pencil to tap in on her desk.


    ¡°And you don¡¯t have to come in here all hot to save my ass, either,¡± and this time Lacey rolled her eyes at Colt¡¯s comment.


    ¡°What?¡± Kat¡¯s tone got dangerous.


    ¡°We¡¯re not out there in your world where I¡¯m weak as some kitten or something,¡± Colt pressed on, and Lacey shook her head as he dug his grave. ¡°We¡¯re here in the dungeon. This is my turf and I¡¯m more than capable of defending it with or without you.¡±


    ¡°I come in here to save your ass, and you want to throw it in my face that I¡¯m not high enough level to do it?¡± Kat slid around the point.


    ¡°And we appreciate you coming in,¡± Colt pushed back, counter to his normal charming self.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t sound like it,¡± Kat sulked.


    ¡°Kat,¡± Colt¡¯s tone got stern. ¡°I always like it when you¡¯re in the dungeon. In fact, you already helped us out.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t try to placate me,¡± Kat growled.


    ¡°I¡¯m not,¡± Colt chuckled, and Lacey felt herself relax a bit. He wasn¡¯t being a completely insensitive idiot. ¡°The first sign we had of the invasion was the fact that you weren¡¯t here. We knew almost immediately that something was wrong. You already gave us a couple hours head start. And unless we want to lose that head start, we should be focused on the dungeon,¡± Colt went back into dangerous territory. Lacey would have smacked him for it if she was the girlfriend.


    ¡°You want me to smack him for you?¡± she offered to Kat.


    Kat¡¯s lips twitched, ¡°Nah. I¡¯ll do it later.¡±


    ¡°If you¡¯d shut up, I could be telling you all about how we are winning,¡± Colt teased Kat.


    This thing with them must have been getting a lot more serious than Lacey had imagined. Colt almost never slipped in his charming fa?ade. The idea that he felt comfortable enough with the spitfire sulking in the sand was evidence that he was letting Kat get to know the real guy underneath the surface. It was so cute that Lacey let that explain the tightness in her chest at Bernard¡¯s previous inference of pride in her. She was just choked up that her best friend was truly bonding with a girl that Lacey actually liked. It was beautiful. That was all.


    ¡°We can do better than tell you,¡± Lacey offered.


    ¡°We can?¡± Colt sent her a quizzical look.


    ¡°They can get up here and watch with us,¡± Lacey shrugged.


    Colt triggered off the sound system. ¡°Are you sure, Lace?¡±


    Lacey took her finger off the intercom button on her screen. ¡°I trust them. And they¡¯ll get to see all our preparations too.¡±


    ¡°They¡¯ll see everything,¡± Colt¡¯s eyebrows rose, but Lacey could tell that he really wanted them here. At least he wanted Kat here in the control room.


    ¡°Including how we take down her asshole dad,¡± Lacey let herself grin even though her pessimism was poking a hole in her stomach. ¡°And our snack cabinet.¡±


    ¡°Up?¡± Kat asked into the silence that their group heard.


    ¡°Well, down and up,¡± Colt said, turning on the intercom again.


    ¡°Jerry isn¡¯t too far from them yet,¡± Lacey told Colt. ¡°His Reject is having trouble getting the Gossowaries to stop playing in the blood puddles.¡±


    ¡°That and he¡¯s still eating,¡± Colt said.


    ¡°Who¡¯s still eating?¡± Kat asked, as Colt had forgotten to close the intercom connection this time.


    ¡°Jerry,¡± Lacey pressed her own button to explain. ¡°He¡¯s one of the Elite Goblins we¡¯ve tasked with counting coup on Dom¡¯s army. The group that finished the level you¡¯re on decided that they didn¡¯t want to accept defeat gracefully, so Jerry and his group slaughtered them.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s what allowed you to come into the dungeon in their place,¡± Colt explained, as if they were talking about something much less gross.


    ¡°Jerry and his Spunk can pick you and Bernard up and bring you back past the army,¡± Lacey went on.


    ¡°I can come?¡± Bernard asked.


    ¡°Army?¡± Kat¡¯s voice was lower, but she wasn¡¯t stomping anymore.


    ¡°Of course you can come, Bernard,¡± Lacey grinned, and then turned off her mic. ¡°Can you see if you can find a way to make them friends of the dungeon so they don¡¯t set off all the proximity alarms?¡±


    ¡°I can try,¡± Colt took his hand off the intercom this time to say.


    ¡°Just give us a few minutes,¡± Lacey told the group.


    ¡°I¡¯ll send my men back out, but only if you¡¯re sure you don¡¯t need them,¡± Bernard offered.


    ¡°We don¡¯t need them,¡± Lacey assured him, and it surprised her that she was sure. ¡°They could come¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d rather they were somewhere useful in case that scoundrel has more plans outside the dungeon,¡± Bernard turned to murmur some orders to his men.


    Bernard¡¯s guards turned as one and saluted the dungeon before ducking back out of the entrance. It was such an honorable thing to do that Lacey felt wrong for being glad that they weren¡¯t coming to the control room. It was enough of a risk, no matter how minor, to have Bernard and Kat in the control room. Their minions could take out Kat, but Bernard was higher than all of their mobs. He could do some serious damage.


    Lacey stuffed that pit of paranoia down deep into her stomach. Bernard had never been anything but honorable. Just because he could take them out didn¡¯t mean that he would. The devil on her shoulder told her that it would be a glorious betrayal that would net Bernard vast gains in his world. It went on to remind her that he was a creation of a system that hadn¡¯t been on their side not that long ago. The angel on her other shoulder looked at the almost boyish excitement on Bernard¡¯s face as he turned back to the dungeon. He was all smiles with not a single glimmer of malice in those charming eyes.


    Lacey was reminded of how much he¡¯d wanted to be a part of the exploration of the dungeon. Even though he knew that he wouldn¡¯t remember the dungeon he was about to see, he was still bubbling with eager joy at the thought of experiencing it. She hadn¡¯t even had to ask for him to send his other Fighters back to the outside world. Lacey reached down and strangled that nasty paranoia, pretending she was a Gossowary in a blood puddle.

 Chapter 2.45 – Getting Together

    Lacey felt lighter than she had in a long time, her paranoia a puddle of discarded doubts about herself and others. She knew that it would be back, but she squashed it. Knowing that, she knew that she could do it again. What that meant for her future as a human being, she didn¡¯t know, but she was cautiously happy to explore this way of living life.


    ¡°Trugs is the only level not to clear yet,¡± Lacey tossed another packet of popcorn to another Elite, Tsume, one of the newer ones they¡¯d summoned only last week. He¡¯d made Elite, only days before, by leveling up past the dungeon level. This one had scared the crap out of his group, and he was obviously proud of himself for it. Tsume and Adam were busy grunting at each other, and somehow Lacey got the impression that Adam was consoling the other Elite on the lack of bloodshed at the end of his level.


    ¡°Jerry¡¯s got Kat and Bernard at the beginning of the trap levels,¡± Colt¡¯s eyes were glued to his monitor, which was why Lacey had taken over the snack dispenser position. ¡°They¡¯re in the first trap reset corridor, but until I figure out how to make them non-combatants, they¡¯re stuck there so we can watch the lead group.¡±


    The screen they¡¯d been using to keep track of the lead members of the incursion showed Kat and Bernard instead. It told them that no one had entered the trapped mazes yet, but Colt was frustrated that he hadn¡¯t figured out how to disqualify Kat and Bernard as foes.


    ¡°Why not just set the screen up here to monitor the third closest adventurer to our control room?¡± Lacey suggested, taking the chance to grab a bag of Cheetos for herself.


    ¡°Fine,¡± Colt grumped, setting the command on his pedestal rather than out loud. ¡°But I¡¯m going to figure this out. It isn¡¯t just about watching the incursion. It¡¯s the principle of the thing. We should be able to choose our friends.¡±


    ¡°Maybe check the quests,¡± Lacey tipped the envelope of Cheetos to put a few in her mouth rather than get the cheesy powder on her hands.


    ¡°That could work,¡± Colt muttered, and his fingers were flying through screens. Lacey was glad that she was the artist and not the computer person.


    ¡°This place is awesome,¡± Kat was saying over the speakers. ¡°Is that a vat of oil?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Colt replied distractedly. Lacey shook her head and returned to her desk to toggle on her mic.


    ¡°It¡¯s set so that it puddles into the chamber upon activation,¡± Lacey explained the trap mechanism. ¡°The emptying of the vat signals to the Spunk that runs it to drop a torch from the ceiling into the oil.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯ll singe some eyebrows,¡± Kat whistled softly. ¡°How come I haven¡¯t seen that trap yet?¡±


    ¡°I tend to test them out in the maze corridors first,¡± Lacey sat at her desk, her gaze now flicking between the screen showing Kat¡¯s exploration and the furthest part of the incursion. Ginger was watching the Trug level. ¡°I didn¡¯t like the fact that it was easily disarmed by someone catching the torch. We reworked the trap so that it¡¯s harder to disarm, but I keep the prototypes scattered around a bit.¡±


    The incursion was starting to meet up at the lowest dungeon level, but several groups were dammed up at the Trug level. The lower levels were running into the Trugs that the current group had supposedly killed. Trugs regenerated, so most of the rooms that group thought they¡¯d cleared were not so clear for their buddies behind them.


    ¡°Jerry, now that we can see the lead group by watching the third, let¡¯s move Kat and Bernard down to the army level,¡± Lacey instructed the Elite, then gave a little chuckle. ¡°No need to give Kat all my secrets all at once.¡±


    ¡°Awww¡­¡± Kat complained, but she was smiling.


    ¡°That and you¡¯re distracting my Spunks,¡± Lacey teased Kat. ¡°They get nervous around Thieves like you.¡± The Spunks were more annoyed than nervous, but Lacey was being nice about it. The Spunks took pride in their traps, and having their prime enemy seeing all their secrets was making them grumble.


    ¡°Valid,¡± Kat tried to give big smiles to the Spunks she passed, but they weren¡¯t easily won over. ¡°You guys are doing a totally great job.¡± The Spunks only pretended to smile, taking care to cover what they could of their traps.


    ¡°And there¡¯s no need to warn the incursion that you are here. Trap corridors are supposed to be silent,¡± Lacey reprimanded Kat¡¯s enthusiastic volume. ¡°No one¡¯s near right now, but they will be soon.¡±


    ¡°Right,¡± Kat whispered, but it still echoed along the corridor. Bernard¡¯s lips twitched a bit, but he, at least, kept silent.


    ¡°Got it,¡± Colt frowned at his screen. ¡°You were right. It was in the quests, and it''s one we might finish without the dungeon closing, but it¡¯s a pain.¡±


    ¡°What is it?¡± Lacey flicked off her mic, noting that the lead group was starting to get moving. If they moved forward, they¡¯d be right on Kat and Bernard¡¯s heels through the maze levels.


    ¡°It¡¯s on Goblin fletching, of all things,¡± Colt waved a hand around. ¡°We¡¯d have to have Goblins make 1500 arrows or crossbow bolts.¡±


    ¡°Make arrow?¡± Ginger popped up from her monitoring to ask. ¡°We make arrow fine.¡±


    ¡°This is a lot of arrows,¡± Colt muttered. ¡°And we need our Goblins focused on the incursion.¡±


    ¡°Goblin arrow makers not busy,¡± Ginger shook her head and pointed to the back valley.  ¡°They out there.¡±


    ¡°Sounds good, Ginger,¡± Lacey grabbed the Goblin¡¯s attention.


    ¡°They have to make them in the dungeon, not outside,¡± Colt called out to Ginger as she dashed outside to gather her workers. Ginger only acknowledged him with a thumbs-up gesture over her shoulder. ¡°How many fletchers do you think she has out there?¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t do any good to try to do the math with Ginger,¡± Lacey waved off his concern with gentle chiding. While Ginger had gotten better at math, she wasn¡¯t going to be able to figure out the production speed of her workers in any recognizable way. Goblin math consisted of what they could count, and most could only count to about five or so. ¡°We¡¯ll figure it out soon enough when they get back. In the meantime, it looks like the lead group is moving.¡±


    Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.


    Colt went back to his monitor. ¡°Not to the mazes.¡±


    Lacey looked back down and saw that the higher leveled groups that had gathered consisted of a little more than half the army. They weren¡¯t going down. They were headed back up the dungeon. ¡°Maybe they¡¯re being smart and headed back to the Trug level.¡±


    ¡°How would they know to head backwards?¡± Colt asked.


    Lacey flicked on the speaker from that area, and they soon learned that the plan required them to wait for a specified time period and then go back to help anyone stuck. What it meant was that the army was gathering together before they took on the mazes. That didn¡¯t make any sense to Lacey. The mazes had narrow corridors, and it would take a Thief to Disarm those traps one at a time. That¡¯s why she was using them as a delaying tactic.


    Ginger returned with the Goblin fletchers. Lacey took the time to set them up in her old bedroom. The five Goblin fletchers found little places to set up their tools, while the workers laid out their bundled materials and then rushed back outside to get more. Ginger was fussing at them that the arrows didn¡¯t need to be good, just plentiful. Once they got a rhythm, Lacey could do the math. Someone elsewhere must have been making the shafts and arrowheads because the bundles of supplies included them. All these Goblins had to do was attach the feathers and arrowhead to the shaft. This took them about a minute per arrow. That might slow down if their supplies dwindled, but Lacey figured that it would take nearly five hours for them to create 1,500 arrows.


    ¡°Do they have the supplies to keep making arrows for five hours, Ginger?¡± Lacey asked.


    ¡°More Goblins make supplies out there,¡± Ginger answered, hands on hips as she surveyed her Goblins¡¯ work. ¡°They keep up.¡±


    Ginger and Lacey went back to the control room together to break the news to Colt.


    ¡°It¡¯s better than I expected, honestly,¡± Colt ran a hand through his hair. ¡°Good job, Ginger.¡±


    ¡°Thanks Colt,¡± Ginger beamed and went back to her position.


    ¡°Most of that group went back, but they left a few of their best trap pickers to start on the mazes,¡± Colt reported.


    ¡°They can only work one or two at a time, so why are they getting the whole army together before tackling the trapped mazes?¡± Lacey asked out loud, sitting back at her desk.


    ¡°They have something sneaky planned,¡± Colt shook his head, and blinked up at her blearily. ¡°I just can¡¯t predict that guy.¡±


    ¡°Get yourself a soda and give your eyes a break from the screens,¡± Lacey waved her arm at the table. ¡°I can watch for a bit. Maybe fresh eyes will see something new.¡±


    ¡°You think there¡¯s a way to speed up those fletchers?¡± Colt whispered to Lacey so that Ginger wouldn¡¯t hear as he passed her desk.


    ¡°What for?¡± she mumbled back, smiling innocently to Ginger when she looked up. ¡°We¡¯re still way ahead of the game here.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s only three hours left on Dom¡¯s timer to dungeon reset and he hasn¡¯t renewed the coupon,¡± Colt rubbed a hand over the back of his neck.


    ¡°He¡¯ll play another one when he needs it,¡± Lacey argued. ¡°That¡¯s what I¡¯d do.¡±


    ¡°What else would you do?¡± Colt pressed Lacey, backing away from her desk. ¡°You¡¯re the cleverest person I know. How would you get around the trapped mazes?¡±


    Trigger Spoiler


    Lacey closed her eyes and imagined herself in Dom¡¯s position. They¡¯d been so rushed that they¡¯d been focused on reacting. There¡¯d been no time for prediction. Lacey¡¯s mind raced, but not where it was supposed to go. Instead, it went right back into the paranoia and self-recriminations that plagued her. It filled her brain with the fact that she should have been thinking like this before now. She should have¡­


    Her paranoia filled her mind with a thousand things that she could have done differently, but she was used to that. She¡¯d just beat all this down not an hour before. How could it be coming back already? Lacey took a breath. New Lacey wasn¡¯t going to hate herself for that stuff. She¡¯d stomped it down before and she could do it again. So, Lacey stomped. It was like she was stuck in a room of mole holes, and she had a tiny hammer to fight every idea that popped up. People without paranoia would find this so easy, but to Lacey it was harder. She took another breath and tried something different.


    Instead of whacking the ideas that popped up, Lacey tried ignoring them. The game of whack-a-mole changed. Now her ideas popped around her, punching out at her in a way that made them impossible to ignore. There had to be a better way. How did Colt get her to focus?


    Lacey threw away her psychologist-approved coping mechanisms and focused on Colt instead. That calmed her down a little, but it didn¡¯t stop the rampant moles popping up and claiming that she wasn¡¯t a good friend because she couldn¡¯t get it under control. Again, Lacey changed tactics. She kept her calm, but she nudged her imagination in another direction.


    That imagination wasn¡¯t a bad thing, and it actually helped her fend off some of the more ludicrous self-recriminations. Not only that, but it helped her think of solutions. Imagination wasn¡¯t bad, so why was her imagination so focused on all the wrong stuff? Well, paranoia focused on the wrong stuff. Imagination made up good stuff. Maybe if she focused on edging back the paranoia?


    That didn¡¯t work at all. The harder she pushed it back, the harder it pressed back. Lacey changed tactics again. Lacey pulled instead. Fine. If paranoia wasn¡¯t going to be leashed, then she¡¯d let it go. The oddest thing happened. Wave after wave of imaginative thoughts poured over Lacey, but she wasn¡¯t dead. She wasn¡¯t even hurt.


    The waves of dread she¡¯d felt at becoming overwhelmed washed away instead of drowning her. She wasn¡¯t just a failure and a fuck up. She hadn¡¯t let Colt down. He was asking her for her opinion because he valued her input, not because he was mad at her for not thinking it up yet.


    ¡°Lace, you ok?¡± Colt was saying as he gently shook her shoulder.


    ¡°Uh,¡± Lacey wondered if she was.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Lace,¡± Colt left his hand as a warm touch of strength. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to push you.¡±


    She realized she¡¯d been shaking. Just another panic attack. That¡¯s what they would have said. The only people that used the word ¡°just¡± to describe a panic attack had never had one. There was nothing just about the sneaky little bastard that seized her brain and turned it into mush for a moment that felt like forever. Colt didn¡¯t say that. Colt just left his hand there and waited for it to pass.


    ¡°I think I am okay,¡± Lacey found her voice. The embarrassment tried to swamp her, but that she could beat back. It stayed back because it was Colt.


    ¡°It¡¯s just that you haven¡¯t had a full-blown panic attack in a while, and I wasn¡¯t thinking,¡± Colt tried to explain, hunching down next to her chair so that he wasn¡¯t looming.


    She took a shaky breath, trying not to let the blame snag her again. ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± she said, almost automatically.


    Colt blew out a breath and waited.


    ¡°No, not sorry, just,¡± she started.


    Colt offered her a sip of his soda. She took it and tipped back the bottle. It was cold. She focused on the feeling of cold. She found the taste sharp on her tongue with the carbonation and then sweet as it rolled down the back of her throat.


    ¡°I¡¯m good,¡± she stated, and she was better. Not great, but better. She handed his soda back.


    ¡°Always,¡± Colt smiled up at her and it made her smile back.


    ¡°I just don¡¯t get why it happened now,¡± Lacey laid her head down on the desk. ¡°Why not when Hughe was coming at us? Why not when Monty was two feet from me and out for blood? Those were so much harder than this.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s just that great big brain of yours stuttering over a hiccup,¡± Colt took a drink and set the bottle on the floor next to him.


    ¡°This is nothing compared to those things,¡± Lacey squeezed her eyes shut.


    ¡°Neither are hiccups, but your brain just doesn¡¯t know that,¡± Colt reminded her. ¡°I think it was just bored and needed a bigger challenge than this idiot is posing.¡±


    Lacey laughed. It wouldn¡¯t have been funny to someone else. It wouldn¡¯t have been funny coming from anyone else.

 Chapter 2.46 – How to Thread an Army Through a Needle

    They hadn¡¯t lost enough time to matter. It was amazing how fast a panic attack happened. Lacey had taken a quick bathroom break to wash her face and get back on track. It was the best she could do and that was enough. Now she sat at her desk again and tried to imagine what Dom had planned. What would she do?


    ¡°I just keep thinking that I wouldn¡¯t do it,¡± Lacey shook her head at Colt. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t force an army through the narrow corridors even if they were a bunch of Thieves.¡±


    ¡°And he¡¯s got to know that it¡¯s a bunch of mazes full of traps or why would he go to all the trouble of making sure everyone has trap skills?¡± Colt nodded. ¡°I was starting to think the same thing, when I wasn¡¯t distracted by company. Now that Kat and Bernard are weaving through the safe road¡­¡±


    ¡°He couldn¡¯t have figured out the safe road through the mazes, could he?¡± Lacey pounced on the thought.


    ¡°How?¡± Colt tossed his hands up in frustration. ¡°The maze levels weren¡¯t even there when he was a level 77, at least the way they are now. There¡¯s almost no similarity, right?¡±


    ¡°And he couldn¡¯t even use the safe path without a George, and a good one at that,¡± Lacey agreed.


    ¡°Could he have looted a George?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯d have had to have killed a lead Spunk for that, and Lord Rais would have told us,¡± Lacey denied that thought too. Lord Rais was the head Spunk. They¡¯d given him a title because he¡¯d won a speed-trap-setting contest for the leadership of the Spunks. ¡°Neither of us has had to resurrect any of the Spunks since Butterfly slipped into and under the water-plunging mechanism. That was back when the Spunks were working the water areas.¡±


    ¡°That was before Dom was probing around and she didn¡¯t have a good George anyway,¡± Colt was obviously scrolling through the death logs at his desk, so Lacey didn¡¯t double-up on his work.


    ¡°He¡¯s seen the trapped mazes though, so he has to think he has a way around them,¡± Lacey smacked a fist onto her desk, sending a stubby pencil skittering.


    ¡°Soft Earth clear,¡± Ginger announced, and they both sat up straight as if the teacher had called their names in class.


    ¡°I guess we¡¯ll find out,¡± Lacey bent to blindly grasp for her fallen pencil, her eyes not leaving the screens. Kat and Bernard had made it to the army, where they would stay until or if Dom made it all the way there.


    <hr>


    ¡°We lost one group?¡± Dom asked Cadd, the leader of the higher leveled Knights. The tin cans, the only way Dom could think of the pretentious group of Knights, backed out of the middle of the tunnels to let Dom and Cadd pass. ¡°How many singles?¡±


    ¡°One full group died, though we¡¯re not sure how. We had reports of four deaths and two single deserters,¡± Cadd replied stiffly. They needed each other, but it was an uneasy collaboration. Cadd had trouble taking orders from a man so far beneath him.


    ¡°That¡¯s not too bad,¡± Dom knew of the Knight¡¯s animosity, but it didn¡¯t worry him. The Knight wanted to marry up in position and Dom had the ear of just the woman for the Knight. At least that¡¯s what the Knight believed.


    ¡°The dungeon was easy,¡± Cadd professed, slapping his leather gloves against a metal gauntlet. ¡°Too easy.¡±


    ¡°Only because you had the answers to all the traps and puzzles,¡± Dom defended the dungeon, resisting the need to grind his teeth. ¡°Was the loot good enough for you?¡±


    ¡°That was a pleasant surprise,¡± Cadd smiled, and handed off his gloves to a squire that he¡¯d sent through one of Dom¡¯s Arena levels. ¡°Why have we stopped at the edge of our success?¡±


    ¡°Traps,¡± Dom answered curtly. Cadd knew why they¡¯d stopped, and Dom didn¡¯t like to talk about it in the dungeon where they could be overheard. Dom sent a quick glance at the walls. They were still making their way down to the mazes.


    ¡°We have more than enough trap seekers to get started there,¡± Cadd said cagily, and Dom stopped to stare at the man.


    ¡°You were supposed to wait for me,¡± Dom said very quietly.


    ¡°I left two of my best trap men to get started,¡± Cadd let it drop. ¡°I don¡¯t take orders from you, sir, merely suggestions.¡±


    ¡°Fine,¡± Dom¡¯s eyes narrowed, but he resumed the walk through their army.


    ¡°Don¡¯t take it so hard, my friend,¡± Cadd sneered.


    ¡°They aren¡¯t my men, so why should I care if you throw them away,¡± Dom smiled at Cadd easily. Dom then excused himself for a moment to speak with one of the women players he¡¯d recruited. Goth handed him a large hammer that she¡¯d carried all through her dungeon level.


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    ¡°Thank you,¡± Dom smiled charmingly at her. She took her own hammer out of an inventory that did not get bogged down with weight restrictions, unlike the NPC¡¯s inventory system.


    ¡°We have Earth Mages,¡± Cadd had stopped long enough to disparage Dom¡¯s plans. ¡°They can¡­¡±


    ¡°Shut up,¡± Dom snarled at Cadd in a voice so soft that he had to be an inch from Cadd¡¯s ear for the stupid Knight to hear him. ¡°Unless you wish the dungeon to know our plans. Plans that I¡¯ve been very careful not to reveal.¡±


    ¡°What difference does it make?¡± Cadd pushed Dom back and Dom had to remind himself that he wasn¡¯t in a position to simply kill the idiot¡­yet.


    <hr>


    ¡°Earth Mages?¡± Lacey¡¯s chin popped up off her palm.


    ¡°What would they use Earth Mages for?¡± Colt said, but Lacey could see that he realized it just as she had.


    ¡°Why all the Thieves then?¡± Lacey sputtered.


    ¡°Pedestal, list all the Earth Mages in the incursion with their levels,¡± Colt demanded quickly.


    ¡°There are three Earth Mages in the incursion, at levels 41, 32, and 29,¡± the system answered.


    ¡°That would do it,¡± Lacey found herself smiling in spite of herself.


    The incursion didn¡¯t need Georges. They had Earth Mages that would do the same thing. They did it outside for Bernard all the time. The fact that the incursion only had three of them said a lot for Bernard¡¯s men¡¯s loyalty. He¡¯d had at least a dozen of the Earth Mages to help him build the fort outside.


    ¡°They had to get to the Spunks,¡± Colt¡¯s eyes widened. ¡°And if they get to the Spunks, they¡¯ll have Georges.¡±


    Lacey quickly triggered on the intercom to the trap corridor of the first trapped maze. ¡°Evacuate! Now!¡±


    <hr>


    ¡°The lower levels were handed envelopes,¡± Dom told Cadd. ¡°Did you collect them?¡±


    ¡°I did,¡± Cadd admitted, pulling out a wad of crumpled papers. ¡°They just held stupid tally sheets and pieces of cardboard.¡±


    Dom bit the inside of his cheek to keep from swearing at the man. The smile Dom put on was devoid of malice due to a youth and young adulthood of having to kiss up to idiot bureaucrats in his job in the real world. ¡°Since you don¡¯t need them, may I have them?¡±


    ¡°I threw them away,¡± Cadd smiled back, but, not having the experience of hiding his distaste, Cadd¡¯s disdain was evident.


    ¡°I collected them for you,¡± Cadd¡¯s squire whispered, handing Dom a small bag of the puzzle pieces. He¡¯d already collected the ones from the lower levels, but he was still missing a few key parts. Cadd had already walked on, their conversation interrupted by someone from Cadd¡¯s group rushing to tell Cadd that his two Thieves were dead. Dom¡¯s mouth twitched, but he gave only a bland look at the arrogant Knight before bowing over the puzzle pieces.


    <hr>


    ¡°First level Spunks clear,¡± Ginger reported, and Lacey¡¯s shoulders relaxed a little.


    ¡°Earth Mages can move dirt around, but they can¡¯t make it disappear,¡± Colt reasoned. ¡°They can¡¯t get through the Manchester rooms on levels three, seven, and ten without putting that dirt somewhere.¡±


    ¡°It had to fall from somewhere,¡± Lacey sat back. ¡°All they should have to do is push it back up, right?¡±


    ¡°Hey Bernard,¡± Colt flicked on his mic and sent the question down to Bernard at the front lines of the mob army. ¡°Can Earth Mages push a whole collapsed cavern of dirt back up where it came from?¡±


    ¡°Earth Mages,¡± Kat swore. ¡°Of course they have Earth Mages. That¡¯s how he¡¯s going to get through those mazes, isn¡¯t he? That devious¡­¡± and she swore some more.


    ¡°Are they any of my Earth Mages?¡± Bernard returned the question.


    ¡°They only have three of them Bernard,¡± Lacey clarified quickly, describing the Manchester room dimensions and trap mechanism. ¡°Just, can they do it? Can they beat my Manchester rooms with that?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s possible that the highest level can shift that amount of soil, but he would then need to hold it up while the army passes,¡± Bernard answered after swallowing his concern. ¡°That would take a hell of a lot of mana. I¡¯d probably try to bypass the rooms by tunneling around them. That would be safer for my men, but it would likely take just as long, if not longer.¡±


    ¡°It would also require that they close up their retreat,¡± Kat put in, and Lacey¡¯s eyebrows rose.


    ¡°True,¡± Lacey nodded. ¡°I didn¡¯t think about the use of magic like earth moving for the Manchester rooms.¡±


    ¡°Does that mean we can put those rooms back in the dungeon?¡± Colt asked, his face distorted into childish glee.


    Lacey let herself laugh, which had been Colt¡¯s intent.


    ¡°Does this mean that you¡¯re in more trouble than you thought?¡± Kat talked right over the levity that Colt was trying to insert into the conversation.


    ¡°Ah,¡± Lacey thought about it, and she felt the paranoia try to niggle into her mind, but it was almost exhausted from her previous panic attack. Those chemicals could only last so long before they petered out. Lacey was in that loose place that happened after her fear overloaded her circuits. It was the most normal she ever felt. ¡°I don¡¯t think so. Not unless there¡¯s some way to counter the army right behind you.¡±


    ¡°Well,¡± Kat paused to look at the straining Gossowaries, grinning oversized Goblins, and the moving ceiling full of pests. ¡°I mean, maybe they could trade off. What are the odds in here? How many mobs do you have in this army?¡±


    ¡°There are about 500 in that cavern,¡± Colt told her.


    ¡°Five-to-one odds are doable with equal levels,¡± Bernard considered out loud.


    ¡°But there are another 500 underground,¡± Lacey added, casually. ¡°Then there are another three caverns just like that one, but their levels are lower. This cavern is in the 40s and 50s, but the other caverns are mostly 40s, maybe some high 30s.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve loaded up three thousand combatants into these caverns?¡± Bernard blanched at the numbers.


    ¡°Yes,¡± Lacey replied. ¡°You gave us the time to build up.¡±


    ¡°That I did,¡± Bernard¡¯s face slowly transitioned from shock to a simple smile. ¡°I do believe that you did not need us at all.¡±


    ¡°But Benny,¡± Colt¡¯s laugh echoed in the chamber Bernard stood in, several Goblins taking up mirthful grins. ¡°We like you here! How else would we know whether the Earth Mages were going to mess up our rooms?¡±


    ¡°Besides,¡± Lacey cocked her chair back, trying for Colt¡¯s level of nonchalance. ¡°With you here, we are assured that it won¡¯t be a full wipe and that means better loot for us.¡±


    Bernard laughed in a way that made Lacey think of Santa Claus. She teetered for only a moment before putting her chair back on four legs. She did not need to go through all this and break her neck because she got cocky. There were more than enough cocky folks down in the dungeon.

 Chapter 2.47 – Doomed, I Tell You, Doomed

    Dom had wanted to smack Cadd when they¡¯d found no Spunks in the trap corridors. He hadn¡¯t been sure before, but that was enough to prove to Dom that the dungeon was listening in on them somehow. His brief tutorials for all of Cadd¡¯s men on how to Disarm a basic trap had only been a feint anyway. He¡¯d just had to teach them enough to make them appear to be Thieves, not enough to really be able to do much about the complicated traps in this dungeon. He¡¯d been hoping to catch a Spunk and make them reveal whatever hidden mechanisms they had to get into and out of those corridors. That should have been a short cut straight down to the control panel.


    Instead, Dom found himself in a room full of doors. As the one with the highest lock-picking ability, Dom was tasked with unlocking all the doors. He¡¯d taken a small group of the highest Rogues in to help him out, but there were not only dozens of doors, but almost every plank of wooden flooring was also trapped.


    The room was more than a hundred yards long and half that wide, about the size of an American football field. There was a stage at one end, and benches set up for what could have been an audience. The walls and floors were paneled in wood and the overhead was full of wooden beams and a darkness that set his teeth on edge. Dom was sure that the darkness held something dangerous, but nothing moved there.


    Dom had worked his way across the floor of the aisle in the center of the audience, keeping a wary eye on the darkened rafters above him. He¡¯d tasked his crew with clearing the floor traps before approaching any of the doors, but it was taking far longer than any of them had predicted, simply because the traps were all different and high levels.


    ¡°How much longer will this take?¡± Cadd asked from a relatively safe space behind Dom¡¯s group.


    ¡°I¡¯m aware of the dungeon timer,¡± Dom grit out, loosening a wire trigger and wondering just how much damage he¡¯d do to his cause to leave just one small trap for Cadd to trigger the hard way.


    ¡°The dungeon will reset behind us in less than ten minutes,¡± Cadd reminded Dom unnecessarily. Dom was impressed the man could count that high.


    ¡°So what?¡± Goth bristled with impatience, but not at the trap she¡¯d just unraveled three feet to Dom¡¯s left. ¡°It¡¯ll just reset the mobs behind us, not in front of us. I wouldn¡¯t have thought that you¡¯d need a coward path to the exit with your levels.¡±


    ¡°Mind your tongue, girl,¡± Cadd spat at her, and Dom reminded himself that Cadd was on his list of people to gaslight, humiliate, and destroy once he got his levels back. ¡°Considering that it has taken a full hour just to check the floor of this room, I thought it key to point out that it would be easier to just clear a single path and open these doors until we find the exit.¡±


    ¡°You have a penchant for repetition,¡± Dom muttered.


    ¡°What¡¯s that, Thief?¡± Cadd challenged, and Dom¡¯s patience snapped.


    ¡°Fine, then,¡± Dom stood on the stage that he¡¯d finally cleared. ¡°Which door would you like to start with?¡±


    Cadd replied by striding to the first door to the right of the entrance. Dom could understand the man¡¯s impatience, but it grated on Dom¡¯s nerves. So far, the dungeon had been overtrapped with keen puzzles and more backups than Dom had anticipated. Dom¡¯s caution had been proved out, but not in any way that Cadd could see. Still, he could use a fight to shut the bastard up.


    ¡°Are you sure you wouldn¡¯t like me to check it for traps for you?¡± Dom offered, but he was counting on Cadd not taking him up on it.


    ¡°Not necessary,¡± Cadd waved Dom off. ¡°I have a good Healer to counter any backlash and you take too long. I actually hope that there¡¯s a flock of Gossowaries back here so I can get some experience instead of sitting on my ass for hours while you lay down flower petals for the rest of the dainty army you amassed for this idiot project.¡±


    Dom shook his head and turned to squint at the one-way door on the stage that glowed with his Trap Sense. Dom was pretty sure that the door was the exit to the level. Nothing had come in the door, so he was hoping that when Cadd triggered the trap on the door near the entrance, this door would release a mob that would make it so that Dom could prop the door open.


    ¡°What the?!¡± Goth exclaimed, having stopped to watch the idiot fling open the door.


    Dom turned from the one-way door to watch. A small dwarflike creature came barreling out of Cadd¡¯s door and right between the large man¡¯s feet. Cadd¡¯s group scrambled to catch the thing that looked more like a ratman than anything else. Two of Cadd¡¯s Fighter buddies took swings at it, but it was super-nimble, darting away with maniacal giggles that were so infectious, both Goth and Dom found themselves smiling.


    The little creature didn¡¯t stop to fight, but rather went to the next door on the line, releasing a pack of Gossowaries that distracted Cadd¡¯s group and served to gather a few spectators from the other groups. They didn¡¯t dare to edge too far into the room with the Gossowaries being joined by another small mob of terrifying mechanical spiders, a rare version of the golems they¡¯d fought in Temple Run.


    The giggles of the ratman was joined by two new ones as the all raced to doors all around the room. The clusterfuck was just what the doctor had ordered as far as Dom was concerned. Rather than join in on the melee that was leveled over his measly 18 levels, he leaned casually against the one-way door and waved his trap-dissemblers off their lines and out of the middle of the fray. There was no need for Dom¡¯s people to get harmed when Cadd was so needing a set-down.


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    Goth picked her way to the center aisle, as did her buddy Kindred. The other two on the other side of the aisle had been pretty far behind Dom, but they were careful as they made their way to the center aisle of cleared traps. It wasn¡¯t Dom¡¯s people who triggered the traps in more than a third of the room that hadn¡¯t been Disarmed.


    One of the giggling ratmen did it. Upon opening one door in the middle of the wall to Dom¡¯s left, what appeared to be hundreds of chickens fluttered out into the main room. Each chicken held a pillow strapped to its back, like a saddle, except that nothing rode the chickens. The chickens didn¡¯t seem to want to fight anyone but each other, ripping into pillows. Feathers filled the air like some porn-movie version of a co-ed pillow fight crossed with a barnyard fiasco of Chicken Run.


    Goth was laughing outright now, with Kindred staring around wide-eyed, his back plastered to the wall behind them. Their other two trap-disarmers had barely made it to the stage when one of the floating feathers led Dom¡¯s gaze upward into the foreboding rafters and all mirth slipped from his face.


    ¡°Get Down!¡± Dom lunged at Goth, knocking both her and Kindred to the floor. The others weren¡¯t so lucky.


    The biggest hood Dom had ever seen nearly parted his hair as it came so close to them to crash into the wood of the back of the stage. It stuck there for a pregnant moment before it quivered itself out of the wall, as if alive, to swing with even more force back into the room. The chickens and ratmen were too short to get hit, but that didn¡¯t keep the chain from spreading out those feathers as well as a pillar full of splinters as it crashed through one of the thick wooden pillars.


    ¡°Thanks, Dom,¡± Kindred panted, casting a quick area-effect Heal on the three of them.


    ¡°I feel like I¡¯ve been to war with a porcupine,¡± Goth complained, plucking at one of dozens, maybe a hundred of the splinters they had over half their bodies.


    ¡°I don¡¯t feel so good,¡± Kindred admitted, turning a bit greenish before turning to throw up onto a trap that then detonated.


    ¡°It¡¯s the feathers!¡± Dom quickly flicked a potion toward the Healer/Rogue and passed another to Goth. Their buddies had been swooped up by the passing demolition-sized hook and slammed into the wall next to where Dom had leaned. ¡°They¡¯re poisoned. If they prick you, you¡¯ll get sick.¡±


    ¡°Ugh,¡± Goth ducked just in time, throwing up near and somewhat on Kindred, who scooted away in disgust.


    That move saved them both as another even bigger wrecking ball came crashing into the wall between them and Dom.


    <hr>


    ¡°The good news is that those chickens did their job,¡± Colt crowed from the control room, wishing he could send the images down to where Kat and Bernard waited. All he could do was explain, but he was having a hard time of it through his guffaws.


    ¡°The bad news is that the demolition ball broke right through the level-clear doorway,¡± Lacey snapped out, annoyed enough to be able to talk through the chuckles that nearly choked her too. ¡°If they don¡¯t get wiped out by the poisonous feathers floating everywhere, they¡¯ll be able to hammer their way into the next few trapped maze levels.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure we can¡¯t come up there to watch?¡± Kat howled. ¡°What I wouldn¡¯t give to see my dad face-first in a pile of vomit trying to inch out of the room of killer chickens!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve just got to rework the angles of the hooks and balls so that they avoid breaking down that door,¡± Lacey scribbled notes.


    ¡°Lace!¡± Colt chided her through hiccuped barks of laughter. ¡°Take a minute to enjoy the moment!¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s right, Lacey!¡± Kat¡¯s voice practically pleaded. ¡°You can see this! I need you to tell me all of it, not lament about how it could be better!¡±


    ¡°But the next time, he¡¯ll be ready for the traps and know how to get out,¡± Lacey argued.


    ¡°Then send some Spunks and Rejects to change it up,¡± Colt insisted, tears in his eyes. ¡°You¡¯ll have plenty of time between them having to clear the Manchester room for the rest to pass and another four levels of trapped mazes they¡¯ll need to pass. Especially now that they¡¯re down an Earth Mage.¡±


    ¡°They are?¡± Lacey scrolled through and sure enough, their highest Earth Mage had been in Cadd¡¯s group.


    ¡°Cause of death, frantic chicken?¡± Kat called out.


    ¡°Technically, he was crushed by a flying anvil,¡± Colt teased.


    ¡°It¡¯s not an anvil,¡± Lacey tried to frown, but she was finally finding the funny in it.


    ¡°Lace!¡± Colt shook his head, but they were both grinning.


    ¡°The death toll is satisfying high,¡± she admitted.


    ¡°How high?¡± Kat asked eagerly. ¡°Come on! I want details! Did you kill my dad with a chicken? Did you? Tell me you did. He¡¯d never live it down.¡±


    <hr>


    The Earth Mages had pried open the walls between the traps and that secret corridor only to find them empty and again Dom was faced with a locked room mystery. He had amazing secret door perception skills, but he could find nothing in the corridor yet again. Even having a dozen other people look hadn¡¯t helped. Dom was as close as he would admit to sulking. He was down to two Earth Mages and they were both still on the other side of a cave-in that had taken out a quarter of his army.


    The fact that it hadn¡¯t taken out Cadd, who¡¯d had just enough health to survive in a small bubble that his Earth Mage had made for both of them, was a sore spot for Dom. That Earth Mage had then succumbed to the poison of pillow carrying chickens because the idiot had saved his imbecile leader instead of the more helpful Healer behind them both. It was enough to sour Dom¡¯s enjoyment because Cadd had then blamed the whole thing on Dom and his inability to efficiently dispense with the traps that remained. Only a third of the swinging wrecking balls and iron hooks had been loosed by the frantic chickens stepping on traps, and yet that had been more than enough to take out enough of the support pillars to take bring half the mountain down into the room.


    At least the blowhard had been pulled into the other side of the mess rather than Dom¡¯s side. Dom had managed to pull both Kindred and Goth into the alcove that had opened up behind them. Dom consoled himself with the knowledge that now he knew where the exit was and exactly which two traps should crash through it enough to bypass this fiasco the next time.


    And he still had his backup plan of using the hammers on the sliding doors and the earth movers to bypass the tricky mazes. Even if he lost all the Earth Mages, he could handle a few more of those trapped maze levels even if it did take a bit more time than he¡¯d wanted. The mazes had been changing, but the complex wall sliding mechanisms had been more vulnerable to brute force than the solid walls. Sure, they still had to Disarm a dozen traps or so per maze, but that was nothing compared to the hallways of doom that had been set to trip them up.


    It didn¡¯t help that they¡¯d found another trapped maze just down the stairs to the next level. Dom had been rather counting on that be a finale for the dungeon, but he had enough to get through more of these things. He just had to wait for the Earth Mages that were left to make a tunnel big enough for the rest of the army to come through. He might have started on the next trapped maze level, but he was letting Kindred get his mana back and giving Goth a rest. They¡¯d only gone far enough to realize that there was just another trapped maze beyond.

 Chapter 2.48 – You Are Screwed

    Dom had been too busy disarming traps to deal with the puzzle pieces until they¡¯d cleared the third maze level and encountered the odd room full of doors, vaulted ceilings, and a puzzle Dom hadn¡¯t seen before. He¡¯d never had the time to get this deep into the trapped mazes. He¡¯d thought for sure that there couldn¡¯t be more than three or four of them. After all, they were obviously reject levels or the dungeon would have opened them to the public. Then again, Dom was starting to think that the dungeon masters had been smarter than he¡¯d given them credit for. He¡¯d been thinking that they were close to the control rooms, until Cadd had marched in and started slinging open doors.


    ¡°Hey boss,¡± Goth sidled up next to where Dom was sliding puzzle pieces together. ¡°Cadd is calling through the rubble for your head.¡±


    ¡°Cadd can wait,¡± Dom flipped a piece and put it next to the previous one.


    ¡°If it¡¯s all the same to you, I¡¯ll say we didn¡¯t hear him,¡± Goth plopped down next to him. ¡°What is that anyway?¡±


    ¡°A puzzle,¡± Dom deadpanned.


    ¡°I can see that, but what kind of puzzle?¡± Goth bumped his shoulder, and he thought he resisted rolling his eyes.


    ¡°I believe it is simply a taunt,¡± Dom answered. ¡°The pictures are arranged in a way so that I can sound them out into a sentence, phrase or whatever. See this first part?¡±


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Goth leaned over the puzzle.


    ¡°The sheep stands for the word You,¡± he explained, his mind not on the conversation at all.


    ¡°You? How does a sheep stand for you?¡± she asked.


    ¡°A female sheep is called an ewe,¡± and he spelled it out for her, ¡°but it¡¯s pronounced the same as you. Then the r stands for are.¡±


    ¡°Oh,¡± she got it quickly now that he¡¯d explained it, not that the next part had taken much to figure out. ¡°That part is a screw plus a D for screwed. That does sound like a taunt.¡±


    ¡°Yes, but the rest is trickier,¡± he admitted. ¡°I thought I¡¯d put the jigsaw part together correctly, but it¡¯s on both sides and I¡¯m not sure if this one is supposed to be part of the front or back. If this is part of the back¡­¡±


    ¡°Does that say, wash, rinse three times?¡± she pushed the puzzle piece over a little. ¡°Like wash, rinse, repeat?¡±


    ¡°I guess it could,¡± Dom quickly turned the pieces over again to look at the other side¡¯s puzzle. The first side had the ¡°you are screwed¡± message and the ¡°wash, rinse¡± stuff, while the other side had an arm and what he hoped wasn¡¯t roman numerals at the bottom. ¡°I think this part is arm plus E for army, but I¡¯m stuck on the scales.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not pointing at the scales,¡± Goth pointed at the arrows. ¡°It¡¯s pointing at the big and little weights.¡±


    ¡°Weights,¡± he mused it over. ¡°Waits!¡±


    ¡°Army waits!¡± Goth got excited with him.


    ¡°B plus switch, probably on, so be plus on plus D,¡± he worked it out aloud with Goth. ¡°But what does the present stand for?¡±


    ¡°Um, ribbon,¡± Goth began to throw out words, ¡°or gift, or I guess it¡¯s wrapped, or birthday?¡±


    ¡°T plus wrapped could be trapped,¡± Dom stared at the 2 sleeping Ms and his mind caught it just as Goth did.


    ¡°Army waits beyond trapped mazes!¡± they said at together, Goth lifting a hand for a high five as Dom¡¯s face fell.


    ¡°Army waits beyond trapped mazes,¡± he breathed out. ¡°Wash, rinse, repeated three times.¡±


    ¡°What are the three Ms at the bottom?¡± Goth asked as he turned it back over again.


    ¡°I thought they might be roman numerals, but that would be 3,000 and that can¡¯t be right,¡± Dom scooped the puzzle pieces back up into the bag she¡¯d handed him.


    ¡°Why not?¡±


    ¡°Because that would mean that they have an army of 3,000 monsters just waiting on the other side of the trapped mazes,¡± Dom¡¯s mind was working fast.


    ¡°Why can¡¯t that be right?¡±


    ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t they have thrown an army like that at us before now?¡± Dom whispered.


    ¡°Because we¡¯re not dicks,¡± came a voice and Dom¡¯s closed his eyes and shook his head. His closed eyes didn¡¯t hide the fact that he was rolling them.


    <hr>


    ¡°You didn¡¯t,¡± Kat was laughing again.


    ¡°I did,¡± Colt bragged. Lacey listened to Colt telling Kat the whole story again, but she was busy ordering Spunks around to delicately change the trajectory of the last few swinging obstacles in the Manchester room, while Rejects shuffled the creatures behind the doors.


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    ¡°The first Manchester room and he¡¯s sucking air,¡± Kat crowed.


    ¡°We shelved the room as too dangerous after two full party wipes in it,¡± Colt admitted.


    ¡°That was the Manchester room?¡± Bernard broke into the conversation, less tickled and more interested in the facts. Still, he was smiling, just like the rest of them were, even Lacey. Lacey was just happy that they¡¯d had the time to rest some of the elements of the next Manchester room. ¡°I¡¯m reluctantly impressed that any of them survived.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be,¡± Kat snarked. ¡°He¡¯s had a lot of practice at dungeons. Even more than I have. He and my mom used to farm dungeons for enough experience to take over this crazy system.¡±


    ¡°Your mom was an adventurer?¡± Colt asked, his smile slipping. ¡°I thought she was like the goddess of this place.¡±


    ¡°More like the owner than a goddess,¡± Kat explained. ¡°We inherited it from an asshole that was sucking people into a novel-writing machine for kicks and giggles. It¡¯s still a work in progress.¡±


    ¡°Not your dad, the asshole?¡± Bernard¡¯s question had Lacey holding her breath. They just didn¡¯t know enough about the whole behind-the-scenes stuff. She was glad that Bernard had been the one to ask. Even Colt¡¯s grin slipped a tiny bit as he also waited for the answer in silence.


    ¡°No,¡± Kat responded as if totally unconcerned with her deity family history. ¡°My dad¡¯s a jerk, but Fizzy-baby was a total and complete asshat of nuclear proportions. He makes my dad look like an angel.¡±


    ¡°What happened to him?¡± Colt dared to ask into the tense silence Kat didn¡¯t seem to notice.


    ¡°Mom and Dad totally kicked his ass and then took over the whole system,¡± Kat answered glibly. ¡°We¡¯re still working out the kinks, but Mom has dreams of expanding it to take in¡­¡± Kat seemed to notice the focus for the first time and her voice trailed off.


    ¡°What?¡± Colt pressed and he and Lacey sat on the edge of their seats.


    ¡°I uh,¡± Kat hedged, coughing to clear her throat. ¡°I¡¯m probably not supposed to talk about that stuff. It uh, breaks immersion or some such. Another mystery to me, but some folks like it okay and some don¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°We don¡¯t mind,¡± Lacey tried to assure Kat.


    ¡°It¡¯s not you guys,¡± Kat explained. ¡°It¡¯s uh, well, other stuff that is or isn¡¯t¡­ It¡¯s hard to explain.¡±


    ¡°Yes, well,¡± Bernard saved her with a gruff tone.


    ¡°So is Dad an asshole or not?¡± Colt pressed over Bernard¡¯s aborted attempt to change the subject.


    ¡°Well, yeah, he¡¯s an asshole, but,¡± Kat insisted.


    ¡°Is he an asshole or just a protective father?¡± Lacey could tell that Bernard was frowning as he said it. He had that stern-dad voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m not 16, Bernard,¡± Kat protested, and she got hot with it. ¡°I just look this age. I¡¯m not only an adult in the real world, but I¡¯ve lived time-compressed years in a world just like this and he¡¯s been chasing down my boyfriends all that time.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡± Lacey put in.


    ¡°He doesn¡¯t like me dating NPCs!¡± Kat fumed, her anger palpable even from half a dungeon away. ¡°I told him I was just practicing on them, but he¡¯s like,¡± and her voice changed to imitate what could have been her dad, ¡°you shouldn¡¯t base normal guy stuff on what an NPC does, so it doesn¡¯t count. And then we just start arguing, and he then kills off the NPC I¡¯m dating! It¡¯s stupid and it¡¯s my life anyway!¡±


    ¡°But I¡¯m not an NPC,¡± Colt protested.


    ¡°Which is why I don¡¯t get why he¡¯s so obsessed!¡± Kat stomped and flailed her arms about. ¡°Now I¡¯m dating someone who¡¯s from the real world and he still refuses to stay out of my life! I came to the new server to get away from his overbearing need to control me. For the first time, he¡¯s actually at a level that I can kick his ass, and I can¡¯t even seem to find him to do it. I don¡¯t know what¡¯s more frustrating! Always being a few levels below him so that I can never quite defeat him, or finally being in charge only to not be able to find his ass to beat it!


    ¡°Which is why I really do hope he gets all the way down here alive!¡± Kat ranted on through clenched teeth. ¡°I don¡¯t care if you wipe out everyone else, but I am going to kick his ass all the way out of the dungeon until he promises to stay out of my love life forever.¡±


    Colt flicked off his intercom, so Lacey did the same so the sound wouldn¡¯t bleed over.


    ¡°Whatcha¡¯ thinking?¡± Lacey prompted him when he didn¡¯t immediately talk.


    ¡°Am I just a chew toy?¡± he blurted out, leaning back but no tipping his chair.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think so, Colt,¡± Lacey scanned her screens to make sure that the Spunks and Rejects were still progressing the way she wanted and then narrowed her attention onto Colt.


    ¡°I want to think that she likes me for me, but I just don¡¯t understand this family feud thing,¡± Colt spread his hands on his desk and blew out a breath.


    ¡°Her dad didn¡¯t show up right away,¡± Lacey tried to reason with him, using the conversation as an excuse to get up for a snack and soda. ¡°She was falling for you before he ever showed up.¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t look like it to me,¡± Colt pushed against his desk until it scooted away from him and then pulled it back to himself.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t see how she was trying to resist that Colt-charm!¡± Lacey chided him gently. ¡°When she looked at you, she was cool, but as soon as you did your walk-away routine, she was panting like she was in heat.¡±


    Colt winced at the analogy. ¡°I don¡¯t think she¡¯d like being compared to a dog.¡±


    ¡°Probably not, and if you tell her I told you any of that, I¡¯ll deny it to my grave,¡± Lacey paused on the way to the treat cabinet to give Spark a scritch. ¡°Still, she was falling for you hard on day one.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡± and he got a dopey look that made Lacey regret saying it.


    ¡°And that was why she was resisting,¡± Lacey mumbled under her breath.


    ¡°Yeah, whatever,¡± he waved her off.


    Lacey grabbed and tossed treats for both Spark and Beka, then ordered pizza rolls for herself before heading back to her desk balancing her treat and her soda. ¡°My dad didn¡¯t care and yours is practically a saint. Even with the crazy ex-girlfriends you¡¯ve had, you haven¡¯t had to deal with a dad like this.¡±


    ¡°Not sure anyone can say that they have,¡± Colt frowned, eyeing her pizza rolls even as she blew on them to cool them down from lava-hot.


    ¡°Get your own,¡± Lacey waved at the kitchen with an arced brow.


    ¡°Okay,¡± he groused, but he got up to repeat Lacey¡¯s movements. ¡°But I doubt anyone¡¯s had this kind of dating dilemma. I¡¯m dating¡­¡± he paused, at a loss for words, and probably trying not to be insulting.


    ¡°The boss¡¯s daughter?¡± Lacey filled in the blank.


    ¡°When you put it that way it sounds normal, but I doubt most guys dating the boss¡¯s daughter didn¡¯t have to worry about the boss showing up and killing them in their sleep,¡± Colt gave the pets another round of treats, and Lacey wondered if they were setting a bad precedent. Then again, if she and Colt weren¡¯t becoming fat toads, their pets probably wouldn¡¯t either.


    ¡°Mob boss¡¯s daughter?¡± Lacey teased him, popping the roll in her mouth and then trying to cool it between her teeth rather than have it burn her tongue.


    ¡°Closer,¡± Colt laughed.


    ¡°Still, not completely without precedent,¡± Lacey gave him a look that was totally lost behind the image of her juggling the next pizza roll like a hot potato.

 Chapter 2.49 – Let Napping Knights Be Damned

    The second collapsing room was a bit daunting to Dom. When he opened the door and saw the layout of yet another of the collapsing rooms, Dom considered trying to turn back. The dungeon had reset, but with the higher levels and the Earth Mages, they might make it back through the previous collapsed room and the hardest level¡¯s respawned creatures to make it out in time. He didn¡¯t have a lot of the coupons left, but there might have been just enough for that. Dom activated another coupon to extend their time, not that it would help much.


    ¡°What are you waiting for?¡± Cadd sneered at Dom.


    ¡°Merely gathering my thoughts,¡± Dom¡¯s eyelids lowered to half-mast. ¡°You might try it once in a while.¡±


    ¡°What did you say?¡± Cadd growled in warning.


    ¡°That you¡¯re an idiot,¡± Dom replied, his hands slipping into his pockets, as if he was speaking about the weather on a Sunday afternoon at the church picnic.


    ¡°Watch your tongue,¡± Cadd stepped up close, but looming over someone taller than him was ineffective, at least to Dom, who wasn¡¯t intimidated by the man¡¯s higher levels.


    ¡°You need me far more than I need you,¡± Dom did not budge.


    ¡°I could kill you with a single blow and loot anything from your corpse that I might need to completely wipe this dungeon, whelp,¡± Cadd shaved a few hit points off of Dom by poking him in the chest with a gauntleted finger.


    ¡°Be my guest,¡± Dom leaned into the finger, his voice a low snarl.


    ¡°Make yourself useful, then,¡± Cadd shoved Dom at the room ahead, as if Dom had said less.


    Dom managed to avoid the first trap only because of a very high agility, then deliberately stepped on the trigger. He ducked. Cadd didn¡¯t and was flung from the room and back out through the door. Dom scanned the rafters of the room from his crouched position, then rose back to stand.


    ¡°You should know your place, Knight,¡± Dom drawled at the clanking man that was sprawled back against his fellows. ¡°One wouldn¡¯t want you to inadvertently step somewhere you shouldn¡¯t.¡±


    Dom and his crew worked the traps much faster this time around. Cadd had decided to take a nap during Dom¡¯s absence, and if there hadn¡¯t been so many witnesses, it would have been a nap the Knight would not have woken from. It had, however, kept the idiot from interrupting the process. This time, they managed to completely disarm the floor traps of the room before opening any doors.


    ¡°Scoot back,¡± Dom ordered his band of player Thieves. ¡°Just in case.¡±


    Dom waited to trigger the trap until his people were well back from the wall where he expected the wrecking ball to grant them access into the tunnel beyond. All the other floor traps had remained the same, so he was fairly confident that nothing had been changed. Dom watched the ceiling as he sprung the trap and darted out of the way of where the wrecking ball should have gone. It was a good thing his reflexes were fast, and a better thing that he was a paranoid son-of-a-bitch.


    <hr>


    ¡°So close,¡± Colt complained, but it was with a hoot of pleasure as they watched the results unfold.


    ¡°Did he just hop onto the returning wrecking ball?¡± Lacey goggled at the projection.


    ¡°It won¡¯t do him much good,¡± Colt shook his head. ¡°It was genius to redirect that toward the chicken room.¡±


    Feathers flew again as the busted door let loose more chickens than last time and one giggling little Ratman dwarven thing to go fling open the doors of his brothers.


    ¡°That wasn¡¯t my idea, actually,¡± Lacey shook her head too, but for her it was in wonder. ¡°The Spunks came up with that on their own.¡±


    There weren¡¯t a lot of people in the room this time, but they were quickly downing potions and heading back to the door of the room. Unfortunately for them, the floor traps had reset when Dom had loosed the wrecking ball, another addition from the Spunk team. The clucking of the chickens had successfully covered up the ominous clicking of all the traps resetting one at a time in sequence across the floor tiles. Hooks swung, chicken Poillows exploded, and chaos ensued, but none of the swinging demolition crashed into the wall that would give access to the route down deeper into the dungeon.


    ¡°My dad is riding the wrecking ball?¡± Kat stared at the ceiling from her spot near the front of the army that was still waiting patiently for the oncoming incursion. Only the front line was ready. The rest were kicking back on shifts of naps so that they would still be sharp for the battle, even if it was taking far longer than any of them had thought it would take.


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    ¡°Like a cowboy on a mechanic bull at the bar,¡± Colt¡¯s eyes held just the hint of awe.


    ¡°At a bar?¡± Kat challenged with a small smile.


    ¡°Ah, yeah, I would imagine,¡± Colt temporized, regaining his disdain for their nemesis with a little clearing of his throat. ¡°Not that I¡¯ve seen that in anything but movies.¡±


    ¡°Right,¡± Lacey¡¯s eyebrows rose. She knew better, but sure, Colt¡¯s mom might read the book, right? Then again, Lacey doubted that seriously since they had vowed to never tell her so that Colt could take advantage of the beer without ¡°root¡± edits. ¡°And that¡¯s a root beer you¡¯re sipping on.¡±


    ¡°I like root beer,¡± Colt gave Lacey a telling glare.


    ¡°Oh, good grief,¡± Kat rolled her eyes. ¡°Just keep telling us what¡¯s going on!¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s climbing the chain for the ball,¡± Lacey reported.


    ¡°Will that work?¡± Kat looked baffled.


    ¡°Nah,¡± Colt was frowning.


    ¡°Actually,¡± Lacey tilted her head and used her desk monitor to scroll up. ¡°Maybe.¡±


    ¡°Unbelievable!¡± Kat threw up her hands.


    ¡°The chickens made a beeline for the door,¡± Colt tried to redirect the focus, using a second projection to show the hallway outside the Manchester room.


    The whole incursion had been kicking back, either napping or snacking, or just socializing. The chickens barreled through the hall, feathers flying. While they were mowed down rather quickly, the result of the feathers made a mess of the corridor. When the other mobs from the room were released and herded toward the only exit to the room by the whooping Ratmen, people scurried to their feet, slipping on the mess and just generally creating havoc that rivaled the previous Manchester room¡¯s chaos.


    The incursion gave it their best shot, but it was like trying to dodge a stampede in a narrow chasm slathered with ¡­ uh, slippery stuff slathered on the floor. Cadd had managed to commandeer another Healer, but she was lower-leveled and not as competent as his previous one. A Gossowary took her out, even as Cadd lopped off its head, just as she got off a final Heal that allowed the guy to survive another moment or two. It wasn¡¯t the first Gossowary to tromp into the hallway and it was nowhere near the last.


    The hallway outside the Manchester room was wide for a hallway but narrow for a fighting area. It was about 20 feet across and a hundred feet long. The doorway was the choke point and should have served as a place for the incursion to gather and slaughter the mobs as they came out. It had been meant to be a chokepoint for the mobs to back a party into, but with the mass of mobs charging out of the collapsing room, it turned against the monsters.


    Cadd was on the front line at the doorway, and while he¡¯d gotten off to a rough start, being startled from sleep by the commotion, he had the levels to put up a good fight. He took down a fair share of them, but when his Healer fell, he was left to try to hold back the flood, with at least half the mobs near his own level.


    ¡°He¡¯s backing up,¡± Lacey crowed in delight. ¡°Even with the bottleneck, they can¡¯t fight off that many of them.¡±


    ¡°Once he gives up that doorway, he¡¯s toast,¡± Kat said.


    ¡°They formed a line beside him, but it won¡¯t be enough,¡± Colt¡¯s eyes were glued to the screen, but Lacey was splitting her attention between the fight outside the Manchester room and the single man climbing up out of the falling rubble. How he was even still alive, she didn¡¯t know.


    Cadd stepped back wrong, faltering and giving the Ghoffin an opening that it did not miss. Ghostly griffon claws raked down a battered breastplate, cracking and then splitting the metal in half. While Cadd still had the metal greaves to protect his legs, his helmet had long since been knocked away by a stray Gossowary kick that had come from a mob that had just killed the Fighter next to Cadd. The loss of the breastplate left the man dangerously exposed, and Lacey and Colt¡¯s mobs knew how to take advantage of that.


    The Ghoffin turned translucent and roared into Cadd¡¯s face, sending hair flying backward on a wave of the stench of death. Cadd¡¯s swing whooshed through the ghostly image and was headed back when the Ghoffin rematerialized just its beak to plunge it into the Knight¡¯s chest.


    ¡°That¡¯s ghastly,¡± Bernard responded to the commentary that Colt was keeping up.


    ¡°Agreed,¡± Lacey winced as the Ghoffin, true to its nature, pushed Cadd to the ground and began to rip the heart straight out of the man¡¯s chest. The ingestion of the organ refueled the Ghoffin. The trembling replacement for Cadd on the line took one look at the red eyes of the levelling Ghoffin and ran, not that there was anywhere to go. The remains of the incursion fell one by one. Whether they fell to a mob out of the Manchester room, or to a trap in the maze behind them, they were sent back to the respawn queue.


    ¡°I thought they disarmed the traps in the last maze,¡± Bernard protested as Colt described a death by mimic-log trap.


    ¡°The Spunks reset some of them,¡± Lacey explained. ¡°That guy was just unlucky enough to step on one of those.¡±


    ¡°I thought you pulled the Spunks out,¡± Colt frowned.


    ¡°I did,¡± Lacey grinned. ¡°Some stayed behind once the incursion started leaving the trap corridors alone. I guess Cadd found so many trap corridors empty that he gave up on checking. They stayed behind without Georges to make sure they weren¡¯t a danger to the dungeon.¡±


    ¡°Want fight,¡± Ginger grinned with those long, pointed teeth that reminded Lacey that the Goblin was more than a favored pet.


    ¡°What was that?¡± Bernard asked.


    ¡°Ginger was just reminding us that the dungeon creatures want to fight,¡± Colt expanded Ginger¡¯s short sentence to make it more clear.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t realize that,¡± Lacey smiled to Ginger.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think I did either,¡± Colt admitted. ¡°I was so busy trying to protect them that I forgot what they were made for.¡±


    Ginger gave him an offended snuffle that made him chuckle.


    ¡°All right, then,¡± he said. ¡°Do you want to go down there and root out that idiot Dom?¡±


    ¡°No way!¡± Kat protested, getting up from her spot near the end of the last untouched Manchester room. ¡°He¡¯s mine to kill!¡±


    ¡°Technically, he¡¯s in our dungeon,¡± Colt chided Kat, his eyes stern.


    ¡°You couldn¡¯t get to him anyway,¡± Lacey tried a more diplomatic approach. ¡°He¡¯s been climbing the chain, dodging the falling dirt and stones, but there¡¯s nothing there.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± Bernard interrupted before Kat could explode at Colt.


    ¡°He¡¯s climbing up into an area that doesn¡¯t go anywhere,¡± Lacey shrugged. ¡°We designed the Manchester rooms away from any other rooms so that the collapses wouldn¡¯t destabilize any rooms above them. He¡¯s basically dug himself into his own grave.¡±