《Tenacious Bob》


 Chapter 1

    Nothing beats a mug of hot chocolate after a hard day''s work at the construction site. With a noisy slurp as I sipped on my sweet nectar, I propped my feet on the table and turned on the TV. The time was 10 P.M., it was snowing outside, there was a plate of hot cookies on my lap, and my favorite game show was starting.


    Absolute bliss.


    I picked up a cookie, so small in my big hand, and savored the sweet and crunchy taste of my own cooking. It was one of the few recipes I learned from Ma before she went and kicked the bucket, bless her soul. It seems a mother''s love could be felt even from beyond the grave.


    For the next hour or so, I reclined on my couch eating cookies as my muscles, sore from swinging a sledgehammer all day, relaxed and lost their tension. Slowly, I felt my consciousness drifting as the warmth of the nearby heater and the soft background noise of the television lulled me to sleep.


    Then I was jolted awake by the loud banging on my front door. My bleary eyes looked at the wall clock. It was midnight.


    ¡°Who the fuck is banging on my door at this hour?¡± I muttered as I slowly got up. Christmas was still a week away, and I was sure as hell Santa Claus sneaked down chimneys and didn''t break down people''s front doors.


    I peeked through the peephole to look at my midnight visitor. An ugly fucker was there, grinning.


    ¡°I know you''re in there, Bob!¡± the fucker shouted with an annoying nasal voice. ¡°Open up!¡±


    I gripped my sledgehammer propped up beside the door, though I kept it hidden. I cracked open the door and glared at the noisy fucker. ¡°Of course I''m fuckin'' here, it''s my house. What the fuck do you want, Puck?¡±


    The small man grinned at me as his two goons stood behind him, trying to look menacing. ¡°What''s with the cold welcome? Ain''t we the best of friends?¡±


    ¡°I''ll kiss your face with my knuckles if you keep wastin'' my time. What do you want?¡±


    Puck laughed at me, a grating noise that made me clench my fists in annoyance. ¡°That''s cute. You know what I want, Bobby boy. You owe me money and I came to collect.¡±


    ¡°What, you can''t count anymore?¡± I spat. ¡°I paid my dues last week. If you don''t know how many days that is, it''s seven days ago. Our deal is that I pay you every month.¡±


    ¡°I know what the fuck a week is, Bobby,¡± Puck snarled, his smiling facade breaking. The small man hated being belittled. ¡°But I don''t give a fuck how many days ago you paid. I need money now, and you owe me. I''m gonna get my due.¡±


    ¡°Really, now?¡± I growled as my hand clenched tighter on my sledgehammer. ¡°And what if I don''t?¡±


    Puck smiled at me as he gestured to his goons. The two men silently drew handguns from their coats, though judging by how they held their pieces, they knew shit about how to use them.


    ¡°You sure you''re gonna go that far, Pucky?¡± I asked as my resolve solidified.


    ¡°Don''t call me Pucky!¡± Pucky shouted like a kid. ¡°You''re gonna give me my money or you''re dead.¡±


    ¡°Fine, fine, I''m gonna go get it,¡± I said with a sigh before closing the door. I walked over to my living room, eating what remained of my cookies and drinking my hot chocolate that was no longer hot. Once I was done, I gripped my sledgehammer with both hands.You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.


    ¡°Oi, you''re not running out on me, are you Bobby?¡± Puck shouted from the other side of the door.


    ¡°Oh, I''m not runnin'' Puck. That''s the very last thing I want to do,¡± I said as I lined up my shoulder with the door. I had always abhorred my large frame because of how people looked at me. But just for tonight, I thanked my Ma for blessing me with a two-meter-tall body packed with muscle developed from years of construction work.


    With a deep breath, I shoulder-charged the door. The sheer momentum of my bulk tore through the cheap door as if it were paper, and I heard a dull thud as my shoulder impacted Puck''s small frame. The little man flew away from the impact and landed hard on the ground, groaning in pain as wooden shards showered the pavement.


    The two goons had looks of utter surprise on their faces, though the right goon''s face quickly morphed into pain when I slammed my sledgehammer against his side, shattering his ribs. The left goon reacted quickly, raising his gun and putting four rounds into me before I managed to slam my hammer across his jaw. He toppled like a sack of rice, and I crushed his skull with a good overhead slam of my hammer. Blood and brain matter flew everywhere.


    More gunshots rang out and I felt several impacts on my back as I staggered from the force. Adrenaline dulled the pain, but I knew I was probably done for.


    I turned around and saw the remaining goon on the ground, one hand clutching his ribs and the other holding a gun shakily. I swung my hammer at his hand, breaking his fingers and sending the gun flying away.


    ¡°P-Please man, I just wanna get pai¡ª¡±


    I stomped on his face with my steel-toed boot. His nose was broken and his teeth shattered, but he was still conscious. I stomped again and again, my rage taking over my actions until the man''s face was nothing more than a shattered and bloody piece of work.


    Another shot rang out in the night and I staggered. Puck was lying on the ground a short distance away, his gun still smoking in the cold winter air.


    I slowly walked towards him, even as several more shots were fired. Even with the close distance, the little fucker''s aim was shit. Most of the shots missed, though one was lucky enough to hit me in the knee.


    I fell. Still, I had my eyes on the little fucker that made my life hell even before Ma died. ¡°If I''m¡­ going down¡­ I''m bringing you¡­ with me¡­ fucker¡­¡±


    I crawled towards the small man, even as he unloaded the entire clip on me. I was on my last legs, and the bastard even managed to shoot me in the face. The left side of my jaw had been ripped away, and I could feel my tongue hanging limply in the cold air.


    Puck tried to reload, but I was already on him. He kicked and screamed like a little girl, but his strikes were as weak as a child''s tantrum. My bloody hands found his face, and I gouged out his eyes with my thumbs. His shrieks were music to my ears.


    I gripped his head with both hands and then slammed it against the pavement. Then again, and again, and again. By the time I heard the distant wailing of sirens, the back of Puck''s head was mush against the sidewalk.


    I rolled onto my back, my breathing turning ragged. With my enemies dead, rationality came back to the driver''s seat, but there was no point to it when the car had already crashed.


    I was dying.


    What the fuck am I doing?I thought to myself as I watched the gentle falling of snow around me. I could have just stomached Puck''s extortion and given the money. I would have been alive at least, even if I had to struggle to make ends meet.


    But I was tired. I was tired of pretending like the good man Ma wanted me to be. I used to be a bully in school, what with my superior advantage in sheer mass. But Ma had put a stop to that severely. She had instilled in me the importance of being a good man, and being the loving son that I am, I faithfully followed her wishes.


    But there was a limit to everything. Ma didn''t want me to fight back against the loan sharks. ¡®It''ll make things worse,¡¯ she said, even until she died of illness because the money for her treatment went into Puck''s pocket.


    How bad I wanted to kill the loansharks right then, but still, I obeyed my mother''s wishes. I kept my head down, letting the loansharks trod all over me as they squeezed me out of every last penny I earned.


    But I guess tonight was just very unlucky for all sides. Peaceful moments like the one I had earlier were rare. I cherished those moments when I didn''t have to worry about shit hitting the fan. God knows how much bullshit I''ve already had to face my entire life. But seeing those fuckers intrude into my little slice of relaxation had pushed me over the edge. The floodgates broke loose, and the years of pent-up rage came rushing out.


    Now look where it got us: everybody dead.


    Dammit, Ma''s gonna give me a spanking when we meet again, was my last thought before I died.

 Chapter 2

    I was not the epitome of kindness when I was still alive. I was a bully at school and would have continued to be so if not for Ma''s strict guidance. Heck, I might even say I was an inherently evil man if I needed somebody else to tell me that my actions were wrong. I recalled the times I stole the class nerd''s food every lunchtime because Ma didn''t have enough money to feed me.


    Still, those were things I had already made up for. Every bad deed I had done during those times, Ma had made sure that I atoned for them by apologizing to my victims. And even if I didn''t, those things shouldn''t have been enough to banish me to Hell upon my death.


    Yet here I was, floating in the middle of nothingness. Oblivion. Most people interpreted Hell as a place of fire and brimstone, but in truth, it was just an absolute void. Calling the place dark would be inappropriate. Heck, calling this a place was also wrong.


    Hell was a¡­ state of being rather than a location. It was a state of being in oblivion. There was no right or wrong, light or dark, cold or hot. There was no sense of sight, hearing, smell, or touch. There was simply my consciousness, knowing it still exists, and then nothing. I would have preferred Hell to be a place of fire and torture instead of this bleak emptiness.


    For an unknown amount of time, I existed in oblivion. It felt like minutes and millennia at the same time. At times, I felt myself still hoping for salvation. But most of the time, I felt myself breaking and descending into insanity. Sometimes, I was both sound of mind and insane simultaneously. Like I was both a past and future version of myself.


    It was trippy as fuck.


    Eventually, though, something found me. That ¡®something¡¯ was a giant hand that ripped through oblivion and took hold of my entire being. Once it had a good grip over me, it pulled me through infinity and dropped me to the bloody ground.


    I meant that in the literal sense. The ground I landed on was utterly soaked with blood. The dark soil squeezed out crimson liquid like a sponge when I pushed myself up, and when I stood up, I found myself standing in the middle of a field that was completely covered with rotting corpses.


    That''s when I realized that I was alive again. I could feel the blood coating my body, smell the stench of rotting corpses, hear the cawing of the crows, and see the gore-stricken fields all around me.


    Like a madman, I laughed as I relished the sensation of living once more. Never mind that I was transported to some kind of brutal battlefield, I was alive again! Returned from the dead! Holy fuck, that technically made me a buff version of Jesus.


    And just as soon as I started celebrating my return, an oppressive presence appeared behind me. I turned around and saw a huge warrior that loomed over me, which said a lot about their size given that I was a veritable giant myself.


    The warrior, a huge figure covered in black steel armor and a horned helmet, stared me down like I was an insect. Strapped to his back were two huge claymores that could split me in two with a single swing, and his skin emitted a red aura that rolled off him in intimidating waves.


    The warrior opened his mouth to speak, and then my eardrums burst.


    I AM SKORM, GOD OF BATTLE AND CARNAGE.


    I fell to my knees as my ears and eyes bled from the sheer force of his words. But even with my ruptured eardrums, the warrior''s words continued to scrape and scour the inside of my skull.


    REJOICE, MORTAL, FOR I HAVE CHOSEN YOU TO BECOME MY CHAMPION. TAKE MY BLESSING AND KILL IN MY NAME. LET THE WORLD OF MORHAVEN WITNESS THE TRUTH OF CARNAGE.


    By the time the warrior finished talking, I was already balled up on the ground as I covered my ears. His voice made me feel like my brain was being scooped out of my skull with a serrated spoon, yet it continued to enter my mind without mercy.


    When I regained my senses again, I was no longer lying on the corpse-covered fields. I was in the middle of a raging blizzard, the powerful winds crashing against my body like a tidal wave.


    ¡°FUCK!¡± I shielded my face from the snowstorm as best as I could. I could already feel my beard and balls freezing from the sheer cold.


    I took a moment to get my bearings and assess my new environment. The blizzard limited visibility to a few meters in front of my face, but judging from the sharp incline of the ground I stood on, Skorm the Fucker had dropped me on top of a fucking mountain. It was a miracle that I didn''t just slide down the slope and die after the bastard left me here in the cold. Heck, I''m even surprised that I was still alive despite being in the middle of a blizzard wearing only my shirt, cargo pants, and boots.


    Without any idea what I should do in this shitty situation, I decided to make my way down the mountain as fast as I could. I risked tumbling down to my death, but I would die faster from the cold if I stayed here any longer without shelter.


    I began trudging down through the thick layer of snow as I rushed to find any kind of shelter. I didn''t even care much about being careful because my fingers were already starting to turn blue. I didn''t wanna die looking like a fucking Smurf.


    Just as my luck would have it, I tripped on a jutting rock buried beneath the snow. I began tumbling down the slope like a ragdoll, hoping that I didn''t bash my head against a hard surface. The world jumbled in my senses as I rolled and rolled down the mountain.


    Thankfully, a large piece of rock took pity on me and stopped my descent by blocking my path. My body slammed into the large fucker feet first, and I watched with morbid fascination as my legs snapped and the bones protruded out of my flesh.


    ¡°Oh shit,¡± I whispered as I stared at my ruined legs. It was a surreal experience because I was not feeling a single ounce of pain, either because of the adrenaline or because my legs had frozen long ago.


    But maybe the world really did take pity on me, because the large rock that stopped my tumble turned out to be an outcropping of stone, and beneath it was a cave. It was the shelter I sorely needed from the storm.


    ¡°Looks like when God opens a door, He fucking breaks your legs,¡± I muttered. The proverb probably went something like that.


    I pulled myself into the cave like a zombie, my ruined legs leaving behind a trail of blood. I should probably be concerned about that, but my stupid brain was still in shock. The only thing I had in my mind was to get in the fucking shelter.


    When I finally did reach the cave, the first thing I did was assess the damage. It did not look good. My kneecaps were dislocated, and my shin bones were now jutting out of them like a pair of eyes staring at me. It was almost funny how both my legs incurred almost the exact same injuries. Symmetry is beauty and all that.If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    Some part of me already knew I was done for and was just making light of the hopeless situation. Having broken legs wasn''t something you could afford to have when stranded on a mountain, primarily because there was no ramp for wheelchairs. Not like I had one, anyway.


    But to my utter surprise, my legs were healing. Fucking healing, and I could see it in real-time. My flesh was squirming like worms were crawling beneath my skin, and although it was really slow, my wounds were closing.


    ¡°What in the fuck is happening?¡± I whispered in shock, then I realized something was nipping at the edge of my consciousness. With an instinctual mental prod, a status screen straight out of a video game suddenly appeared in my vision.


    Status


    Name: Bob Dinkle


    Age: 35 years


    Level: 0


    Race: Human


    Class: ¡ª


    Skills


    ¡ª


    Traits


    Divine Body - Your body has been constructed by a god. Your body recovers faster and is resistant to ailments.


    Accolades


    Champion of Carnage - The God of Battle and Carnage has chosen you as his Champion. Combat proficiency and battle intuition are significantly improved.


    For the next few minutes, I blankly stared at the gamer fantasy bullshit in front of me. My mind was still confused. What in the actual fuck was going on? Being lost in oblivion¡ª or rather, the Void¡ª then being plucked by a god of butchery or somethin'', then being dumped on top of a frozen mountain without any heads-up? Skorm the Fucker could''ve at least given a tutorial or some shit.


    I was pulled back into reality when I started feeling pain. The adrenaline must''ve worn off because my knees were now killing me (hah!). I welcomed the pain, though, because it was proof of life.


    Then I realized something important. My flesh was healing, but my bones were still jutting out of my skin without any signs of returning to their original positions. By the rate at which my flesh was healing, my wounds would soon close with my shin bones still peeking out of my knees.


    I would have to reposition them manually.


    ¡°Fucking hell.¡±


    Steeling my resolve, I gripped my right shin bone and pushed it down as hard as I could. Immense agony washed over my mind as I screamed, but there was a satisfying pop as my shin bone went back into place. I still couldn''t move the leg due to the torn ligaments, but I could already see them slowly reforming.


    Then I looked at my other leg. ¡°Fuck you, Skorm¡­¡±


    I did the same with my left leg, and after a long round of cursing the bastard who dropped me on a fucking mountain, my bones were now all good once more. My ligaments and muscles were slowly reforming in front of my eyes, and by my estimation, I should be fully healed up in an hour.


    At least the bastard had given me some help.


    As interesting as it was to watch my knee grow, it lost its novelty after fifteen minutes. Instead, I shifted my focus to the RPG bullshit that just showed up in my vision earlier. With a mental prod, it popped back up in my field of view.


    Status


    Name: Bob Dinkle


    Age: 35 years


    Level: 0


    Race: Human


    Class: ¡ª


    Skills


    ¡ª


    Traits


    Divine Body - Your body has been constructed by a god. Your body recovers faster and is resistant to ailments.


    Accolades


    Champion of Carnage - The God of Battle and Carnage has chosen you as his Champion. Combat proficiency and battle intuition are significantly improved.


    This shit was straight out of a gamer''s fantasy. Too bad I never had the time to play games in my previous life, so I was completely unfamiliar with how this thing was supposed to work out.


    Based on my crude understanding, Status displayed my biographical data, though I had no idea what a ¡®Class¡¯ was. Skills should be displaying my work experience, though I wondered why it was empty. If a decade of working in construction is not worthy enough to warrant an entry, then I don''t know what is. Traits seemed to list special stuff about my body, and lastly, Accolades seem to contain my achievements.


    Of course, I had no idea if my assumptions about all this were correct. I guess I''ll find out if I survive and get the chance to ask other people around here.


    My musing was interrupted by a low growl coming from deeper within the cave. I looked into the darkness and saw several pairs of shining eyes that materialized into a pack of white-furred wolves. They were huge, as tall as my waist, and that was considering my large size.


    ¡°Well of course the cave I find is fucking occupied.¡±


    Now that I saw the mangy mutts, I realized that the cave stank of wet dogs. I would''ve noticed it sooner if I hadn''t been busy gawking at my newfound X-men ability. Now I was facing three wolves eyeing me like a piece of steak.


    ¡°Now now, who''s a good doggy?¡± I said placatingly as I tried to stand up, but my knees were still crippled. I was helpless.


    The wolves growled as they approached me. ¡°Dontcha even try it, punk. I know a gal who has a kink for dog pelts.¡±


    The wolf in the lead pounced, and I socked the motherfucker straight in the nose. The wolf whimpered loudly as it fell back behind its companions. ¡°Hah! That''s what you get, punk!¡±


    It turns out I celebrated too early.


    The remaining two wolves growled as they went for my legs, and I couldn''t do shit as they pulled me by my feet deeper into the cave. I shouted in pain as I got dragged across the floor, and the wolf that I punched earlier returned with vengeance in its eyes. It pounced at my neck, and despite my attempt to block it with my arms, it still managed to reach its target.


    The furry bastard proceeded to rip my throat out by biting a chunk out of my neck. I turned into a veritable blood fountain.


    I felt panic consume my mind as I started drowning in my own blood. There was blood everywhere, and it was only a matter of time before I died of blood loss. The edges of my vision were already darkening.


    I put one hand on the grisly wound on my neck to stem the bleeding, no matter how futile it was. With the other hand, I reached for the asshole who tore my throat out. Luckily for me, the bastard was greedy enough to go in for another bite, putting itself inside grabbing range.


    Just as the wolf was about to take another bite of my premium meat, I reached my hand deep into its slobbering mouth and took hold of its tongue in a death grip. Its eyes bulged in surprise, and right as it jerked back, I pulled my hand in the opposite direction.


    With a wet squelch, I tore the fucker''s tongue right off its mouth.


    The cave was suddenly inundated with the wolf''s loud whimpers as blood flowed out of its mouth rapidly. The two other wolves paused from pulling me into their cave and backed away warily as they watched their companion go ballistic.


    With one hand still clutching at my neck, I pulled myself over to the wall and propped myself up. The bleeding on my neck was slowing down, though I don''t know if it was because the wound was slowly healing or because I was running out of blood. Judging by how my vision was now going completely dark, I''ll have to say it was the latter.


    For the next few minutes, I simply sat against the cave wall as I listened to the whimpering wolf. The intensity of its cries had been steadily weakening, which hopefully meant it was dying. As for the other two, I had no idea what they were waiting for. Now was the perfect time to kill me, yet they didn''t try to pull me into their cave any further.


    Eventually, the whimpers died down as its owner died along with it. And upon its death, a bright line of text suddenly popped into my darkened vision.


    [You have slain a Frost Wolf. Experience gained.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 1. You are eligible for a Skill choice.]


    [Please choose a Skill below.]


    1. Unarmed Mastery - Provides a boost to proficiency in unarmed combat and enhances the damage of unarmed attacks.


    2. Minor Physical Resistance - Slightly reduces all physical damage taken.


    3. Minor Regeneration - Slightly increases the rate of natural healing.


    Normally, I''d have thought that I was hallucinating with all these texts popping up in my vision. But after recent events, the least of which is getting my throat torn out by an oversized mutt, I decided to just take everything at face value.


    After reading everything, I immediately chose the Skill that could hopefully get me out of my predicament.


    [You have gained Minor Regeneration Lv.1]


    Right after the text disappeared, my body suddenly felt warm for the slightest of moments before the biting cold of the mountain returned. I tried to sense myself for anything new, and after a moment, I realized that my neck wound''s bleeding had finally slowed down to a crawl.


    It looks like Bob Dinkle is going to live another day.

 Chapter 3

    As I sat against the cave wall, shivering from the cold and blood loss, I wondered what I did in my past life to deserve all the shit I''ve been through. I was a big asshole in my childhood, yeah, but did that really deserve being shot to death by loansharks, getting lost in oblivion, being kidnapped by a crazy god before dropping me on top of a frozen mountain, and then getting my throat torn out by wolves?


    Well, maybe some deity out there thought I was shitty enough to deserve all that. God knows how much lunch money I stole from Eddy during elementary school. If I find out that every suffering I experienced was because of Eddy''s lunch money, I swear I''m gonna grovel at his feet and kiss his ass. Maybe then the powers that be will forgive me.


    I was brought out of my daydreaming when I felt a nip at my foot. One of the wolves was trying to take a small bite at me.


    ¡°Fuck off!¡± I shouted as I threw a stone at the mutt. It quickly retreated beside its companion. Probably frightened of how I killed one of their own.


    Without a watch, I had no idea how much time had passed after I killed the wolf that tore my throat, but by my guesstimation, about an hour had already passed. During that entire time, the wolves had been nipping at me every now and then. Probably to see if I was still alive. Well, too bad, doggies. Assholes like me take a bit more than a torn jugular to kill.


    In the past hour, my knees and neck had already finished healing entirely, although I was still extremely weak from blood loss. As much as I wanted to stand up and wallop the two remaining wolves to death, I was still too weak to do so without putting myself at any more risk. At the very least, I was able to defend myself if the wolves tried to eat me again, and I was sure I could take one of them with me if I did go down. Fortunately, the wolves seemed to know that too.


    [Minor Regeneration has leveled up to Lv.2]


    Well, would you look at that? It looks like good things do happen to me sometimes.


    After another hour of sitting around, I finally gained enough strength to stand up. My legs wobbled like an old man with arthritis, and actually felt like it too. But as much as I wanted to bitch about it, I pushed through the pain and walked over to the wolf carcass. The healing took a toll on me, and now I felt like I could eat an entire wolf.


    I wished I was kidding at that last part.


    I kneeled over the corpse, heedless of the puddle of blood that had gathered around it. Gripping the skin beneath its belly where it was weakest, I tore it with my bare hands and exposed the pink flesh beneath.


    The two wolves in the cave growled menacingly as I skinned their former companion, but one glare was enough to keep them away. I guess killing one of their own was enough to make them wary of me.


    Once I had skinned enough of the wolf, I crouched down and started eating like a fucking zombie. I was sure I looked utterly savage, but at that moment, I couldn''t care less. I was tired, hurting, and hungry. The taste of coppery and stringy meat didn''t register that much on my mind as I focused on feasting.


    At some point, I ended up giving the innards to the two wolves waiting on the sidelines. I worried that their hunger would tempt them enough to try attacking me while I ate, so I went ahead and gave them something to munch on while I took my fill.


    By the time my stomach felt like it was about to burst, I had eaten an entire quarter of the wolf carcass. With how big the bastard was, that was a lot of meat.


    With my stomach full, I sat back down against the cave wall and started considering my next course of action. Priority Number One was to return to civilization, because there was no way in hell I''d keep on eating raw meat like some deranged antithesis of a vegetarian. The problem was that I had no idea where the nearest city was. In this kind of weather, I''d be lucky to last more than a few minutes out there with nothing but a shirt and cargo pants to protect me from the snowstorm.


    So I decided to stay in this cave until the snowstorm abated. There was the issue of the two wolves residing here with me, but that brought me to Priority Number Two: gaining levels. Thanks to my earlier level-up, I dodged certain death by a hair''s breadth. That was enough to convince me that I should do everything I could to get those levels ASAP if it meant keeping death away.


    That meant these two wolves were walking bags of ¡®experience,¡¯ and I wasn''t known for letting resources go to waste. The only issue was my lack of weapons. I doubt they''d just willingly let me rip their tongues out like I did with their friend.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.


    I stared at the wolves as they munched on the food I gave them. Then I glanced at the wolf carcass, whose ribcage I pulled apart to get at the innards. Then I looked at the ribs lying scattered on the ground.


    An idea came to mind.


    I walked over to one of the ribs on the ground and stepped on one end. Then on the other end, I gripped it with two hands and started pulling upwards with my entire might. The bone was extremely hard, but eventually, it snapped in two halves.


    I now had two pieces of bone with sharp, serrated ends. They made quite a nice pair of daggers, though only if you disregarded the bits and pieces of flesh still sticking to it.


    I took a peek at the two wolves and saw that they were almost done with eating the food I gave them. I had to make a move now while they were distracted.


    I picked up the wolf carcass by the tail and started dragging it over to the two wolves, who started growling at me threateningly. I pretended to offer them the wolf carcass. ¡°Here, you can have your friend back.¡±


    The wolves remained wary of me as I stood patiently beside the carcass. But eventually, their hunger won out. The one on the left began inching forward slowly, and just as he was about to bite into the carcass, I lunged forward and stabbed at its face.


    To my amazement, the mutt had a very quick reaction time. It dodged my first stab by leaning out of the way before retaliating with a bite, latching on to my arm with its sharp teeth.


    ¡°Gah! That hurts, you shit-eating bastard!¡±


    The rabies-carrying motherfucker may have dodged my first stab, but it was too busy gnawing my arm off to see the second stab heading for its eye. By the time it did, the bone was already digging into its eye and stabbing into its brain.


    [You have slain a Frost Wolf. Experience gained.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 2.]


    ¡°Hell yea¡ª¡±


    My celebration of the level-up was interrupted when the second wolf pounced for my neck. Traumatic memories of bleeding out of my neck came to the forefront of my mind, and my body instinctually reacted with inhuman reaction time.


    I raised my right arm to let the wolf gnaw on it instead of my neck, and with my left hand, I started stabbing the bastard''s belly repeatedly. ¡°You''re not tearing my throat out again, motherfucker!¡±


    The wolf whimpered in pain and let go of my arm, but I wasn''t just gonna let it walk away. I gripped it by the scruff of its neck like scolding an unruly dog and pushed its head against the ground. It slashed at my legs with its sharp claws, but I ignored the damage and began stabbing at its head with the bone repeatedly. ¡°Die! Die! Die! Die!¡±


    My stabs missed its eyes repeatedly, instead landing on its thick skull. Frustrated, I threw the bone away and resorted to punching it again and again.


    It took five whole minutes of walloping the wolf''s face before it finally succumbed. At that point, my legs were completely shredded by the wolf''s claws, and I was panting harder than a dog in heat.


    [You have slain a Frost Wolf. Experience gained.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 3.]


    ¡°Take¡­ that¡­ you damn¡­ mutt¡­¡± I huffed as I let myself fall to the cave floor. The adrenaline was wearing away, and now the pain was coming in full force. My legs and arms felt like they were on fire.


    To distract myself from the immense pain, I brought up the blinking notifications and read them. Then I sat up in alarm. ¡°What the fuck?! Where''s my Skills?!¡±


    No Skill choices appeared no matter how long I waited, not even an explanation as to why there was no Skills. I was fucking cheated in broad daylight!


    Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do. It''s not like there was a customer service for this video game bullshit I was experiencing. If there was, I''d have shoved the wolf carcass down their throats.


    ¡°Well, no use in crying over spilled milk,¡± I grumbled as I laid back down on the cave floor. My thoughts kept thinking of the possibility that only one Skill could be picked by a person in their entire life, but I quickly disabused myself of that notion. It was called Skills with an ¡®s¡¯ in my Status for a reason.


    ¡°There are probably other ways to get Skills. I just have to figure it out.¡±


    With nothing else to do aside from waiting out the storm, I laid back down on the ground and closed my eyes.


    Soon enough, sleep came to me easily.


    ????


    I had no idea how long I slept. All I knew was that when I woke up, the storm outside the cave had already abated. The air was still frigid as fuck, but not as cold as before.


    It was time to leave the cave.


    Before I left, though, I made sure to fill myself up with wolf meat. Who knew how long the travel would be? I even planned on bringing some of the meat with me, but with no bag to carry it with, I decided to just find some food along the journey.


    Once I was full enough that I felt like I was gonna start shitting wolf meat right there and then, I stepped out of the cave.


    When I first landed on this mountain, there was practically zero visibility because of the storm. But now, the skies were clearer than my future, as if the storm had been nothing but a dream. The sun shone its warm light over the land, giving me the very first glimpse of this foreign place.


    And what a beautiful place it was.


    I was standing near the peak of a massive snow-covered mountain, and the high elevation gave me a breathtaking view of the surrounding environment. The mountain itself was a pristine white because of the snow covering its surface, but at its base, the snowy terrain slowly transformed into a lush green forest as the ground surface leveled out.


    The forest was huge and expansive, and gazing at its flourishing and healthy state gave me the peace of mind that living in a concrete jungle took away. The majestic sight honestly made me wonder why people would prefer to live in cramped, concrete buildings than being one with nature.


    Then I remembered how I almost got eaten alive by wolves.


    Yeah¡­ I think I understood why people don''t want to live in the forest.


    Beyond the forest were vast rolling plains that stretched as far as the eye could see. And to my joy, I saw what looked like a city right in the middle of the plains.


    It seemed like I now had a destination in mind.

 Chapter 4

    Descending a mountain turned out to be a more difficult task than I thought. There were no dedicated paths that conveniently led down to the base of the mountain, so I had to slowly maneuver down the very steep slope of the mountainside one step at a time. One wrong move and I could break my legs from a nasty fall. If that happened again, I wouldn''t be surprised if some ginger-haired lad started singing nearby about my legs not working as they used to before.


    ¡°Damn that fucking god,¡± I grumbled as I climbed down an almost-vertical incline. Progress was slow because of how smooth the rock surface was, making it difficult to find handholds. ¡°Out of all the places he could''ve dropped me, it had to be a mountain. There''s a city right there. How stupid could you be to drop a man in the wilderness with nothing but the clothes on his back?¡±


    My grumblings were lost to the strong winds as I continued my way down. The descent was mostly boring, though the few times that I slipped and almost fell gave me sufficient doses of panic to keep me on my toes.


    After a few hours of travel, I came across another cave set into the mountainside. Eager to rest my cold and numb body, I entered the cave to take a short break.


    ¡°Dammit, my progress is too slow,¡± I muttered as I took a peek over the edge of the mountainside. I was still pretty high up the mountain despite the several hours of continuous travel. At this speed, it would take me weeks just to reach the base of the mountain.


    As I tried to think of ways to expedite my journey, I heard the crunch of snow behind me. When I turned around, the biggest and ugliest gorilla I''ve ever seen greeted me with a glare. It stood as tall as me even while hunched, and its entire body was covered in long white fur.


    ¡°Why in the hell is Bigfoot¡ª¡±


    I didn''t get to finish my sentence before white King Kong slammed me with a double-fisted smash against my chest. All the air left my lungs as I flew from the impact like a ragdoll. But instead of landing on the ground, I flew past the edge of the cave and started tumbling down the mountainside. Ah shit.


    I rolled down the mountain without an ounce of control. The world spun around me in a chaotic mess that threatened to have my stomach hurling its contents, but there was at least the consolation that I found a shortcut to the base of the mountain.


    I rate it 1/10, though.


    But of course, fates seemed to always conspire against me. Just when I thought that my unexpected shortcut would lead me to the base of the mountain, a massive chasm suddenly appeared beneath me. It must have been hidden from view while I''d been assessing the area from a higher elevation.


    ¡°FUUUUUCK!¡±


    I plunged into the mountain''s deep chasm, screaming at the top of my lungs. Blood spurted out of my mouth as I did so, which was easily explained when I glanced at my chest. Bigfoot''s smash had caved my chest in.


    ¡°SKORM YOU FUCKING¡ª¡±


    I hit the side of the chasm hard, shattering one side of my ribcage. The impact caused my already chaotic fall to become even more uncontrolled. I was practically spinning every which way.


    [Minor Regeneration has leveled up to Lv.3]


    I felt several more impacts as I bounced between the narrowing chasm walls, but at this point, I could barely feel any more pain. My body felt really cold. I think I''m dying.


    [Minor Regeneration has leveled up to Lv.4]


    Eventually, I reached the bottom of the chasm. The impact on the ground¡­


    Wait, where was the impact?


    Even in the state my body was in, I tried to assess my surroundings. I was still alive, luckily, and I think I was lying prone on the ground. There was the small issue of my body being mostly paralyzed, but that should fix itself soon.


    When I tilted my head a bit to look around, all I saw was complete darkness. I tried moving my head around and felt a slight resistance and a cold sensation. That''s when I realized that I was currently buried completely in snow. Soft, fluffy, cushioning snow that just saved my life.


    For a moment, everything was silent. Then I started chuckling, slowly at first before turning into a full-blown madman''s laughter. How in the hell was I still alive?


    Somehow, I doubt even Skorm the Fucker could answer that question.


    [Minor Regeneration has leveled up to Lv.5]


    Several notifications in my vision caught my attention, and when I read them, I finally found out how I managed to survive everything I just experienced. I swear I was this close to kicking the bucket, and if not for those lucky levels, I''d already be floating in oblivion once more.


    Over the next few minutes, I waited for my body to heal all the damage it incurred from my fall. I had to get hands-on several times when a dislocated bone or jutting rib had to be forcefully moved out of the way, and the pain I had to endure further hardened my resolve to stay alive and give the middle finger to Skorm.


    Soon, my body was as whole as could be. With my new and improved Minor Regeneration, the entire healing process only took about twenty minutes tops. For someone who used to have no health insurance, I was moving up in the world. Though based on everything that happened so far, I don''t think I was still on Earth. Earth didn''t have fucking abominable snowmen. It was a mind-boggling revelation, but once again, I told myself to just take everything at face value. Don''t overthink it. That''s how I managed to push through life''s struggles: a simpler outlook in life and a generous dose of ¡®it is what it is¡¯s.A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    I dug myself out of the snow, revealing the dark and narrow bottom of the chasm. What light filtered from above was just enough to let my adjusted eyes see a few meters in front of me.


    Now, the big question was: what the hell am I supposed to do now?


    There were only two courses of action I could think of. The first is to try and climb back up the chasm, which was probably more than a few hundred meters high. The second was to explore the bottom of the chasm and hope that there was some path down here that conveniently led back to the surface.


    Both choices sucked, but as always, welcome to Bob''s life.


    In the end, I decided to explore the bottom first and look for a way out before trying to climb the chasm. The fall down the mountain was still fresh on my mind, and the image of my spine rotated 360 degrees in the wrong direction was still too vivid. A short walk at the bottom of an abyssal chasm should help me clear my mind.


    Unlike the mountain up above, the bottom of the chasm was calm and quiet. Without the constant howling of the wind, the only sounds present were the soft crunches of snow beneath my boots and my steady breathing. I could almost say that this place was perfect for some relaxing yoga, but there was a slight issue of smell.


    Actually, scratch that. The issue wasn''t slight at all. This place fucking reeked. It actually reminded me of that time my neighbor''s dog died and the fucker just threw the body in the trash. Stank up the place for weeks.


    The smell here was similar to the stench of a rotting body. I found the reason a few minutes later when I came across a lump on the ground. With how dark it was, I thought it was just a rock, so I placed a hand on top to support myself while trudging through the thick snow.


    My hand sank into the ¡®rock¡¯ with a juicy squelch, sinking all the way up to my shoulder. That''s when I realized that it was no rock. It was a fucking corpse.


    ¡°Mother FUCKER!¡±


    I quickly took my arm out, producing the same disgusting squelch as it did on the way in, and started swishing my arm in the snow to try and clean it. But it was too late. The smell of rot had already clung to my skin, and vomit rose into my mouth. Given the scarcity of food around here, I swallowed it back. No sense in wasting food.


    Staggering from the smell, I continued moving forward, where plenty more corpses littered the narrow path. I couldn''t see what kind of animal the corpses were because of the dark, but whatever they were, there were plenty of them. I''ll bet my left nut that these poor fuckers also fell from above and were too unlucky to have the crazy fast healing I had.


    More time passed as I followed the narrow chasm, until eventually, I arrived at the end. And boy did I feel like the luckiest man alive, because there may actually be a path to the surface. I could see the light at the end of the path, and I didn''t mean that figuratively. There was a literal light at the end, and as I approached, I saw the source.


    At the end of the narrow chasm was a tunnel whose walls were lined by hundreds of glowing blue crystals, bathing everything in its gentle light. They looked like the cheap night lights you''d find at a thrift shop, but when I examined them closer, they were set into the rock deeply like a natural formation. They were the real deal.


    ¡°Holy shit, this has gotta be worth somethin'',¡± I whispered in awe as I tried prying a piece off the tunnel wall, but they were really stuck in there. Without a tool to extract them, all I could do was stare at them in a daze. So much money within reach, but out of my grasp. ¡°I''m coming back for you, my sweet babies.¡±


    Forcing myself to look away, I followed the brightly-lit tunnel to wherever it led. There was a chance that it could lead to some nasty beast''s den, but was it to my detriment, though? It had been hours since I last ate. I was hungry.


    My hunch was later proven right when I turned around a corner. The moment I entered a new section of the tunnel, some nasty bugger dropped from the ceiling and bit me on the neck. ¡°Gah! You damn cocksucker!¡±


    I reached over my head, gripped the critter tightly, and slammed it hard against the crystal-lined wall. Then I dragged the screeching fucker over the crystals to give it some high-quality exfoliation.


    [You have slain a Frost Spider. Experience gained.]


    ¡°Dammit, why does it have to be bugs?¡±


    The frost spider was a dog-sized fucker with white fur growing all over its body. It must''ve been venomous too because the bite on my neck was itching like crazy. Fortunately, it didn''t get worse than that.


    ¡°What kind of stupid idiot would even attack something larger than itself?¡± I scoffed as I wiped the spider''s green ichor off my hands. Then the realization hit me. ¡°Idiots who hunt in numbers, that''s what.¡±


    I looked up at the hole in the ceiling where the spider came from.


    Hundreds of glowing eyes stared back.


    ¡°FUCK ME!¡±


    I ran like hell, and just in time too. I heard the sound of multiple spiders landing on the ground where I had just been, and they screeched furiously as they began to give chase.


    If there was one good thing I liked about having a large frame, it was that my strides were ridiculously larger than the norm. When I ran, my legs ate up the distance quickly, and that meant I was leaving the eight-legged fuckers in the dust.


    Just as I was reveling in my superiority over the spiders, something up ahead made me stop in my tracks. Of course there was. It wouldn''t be my life anymore if there was no misfortune rearing its ugly head at me.


    There was an intersection up ahead, and standing there like some dull idiot was Bigfoot. I thought the big lug had followed me all the way down here, but upon closer inspection, it was a different guy. It was a a fair bit bigger than me, and it was more plump than the bastard who knocked me off the mountain. I''ll call him Senior.


    Senior was munching on a piece of blue crystal like it was candy. I had no idea if the crunching noise from his mouth came from the shattering of the crystal or his teeth, but nevertheless, the moment he saw me, his expression turned aggressive. He gave a loud roar that echoed throughout the tunnels, then he started charging at me on all fours.


    ¡°Dammit, why can''t anything be easy?¡±


    I charged forward as well, my eyes focused on Senior''s center of gravity. As soon as he shifted, I instinctively knew that the oversized ape was going to sock me in the jaw. Following my intuition, I stepped forward and to the side, just in time as Senior''s fist swung near my head and missed by a few millimeters.


    My dodge brought me behind Senior, and before he could react, I kicked him hard on the side of his knee. With the large ape''s heavy body, his knee easily broke and buckled from my kick.


    Senior roared in pain as he fell to the ground. He tried to grab me with his meaty fingers, but I was already out of his range.


    It was extremely tempting to kill the vulnerable creature to claim the valuable experience, but with the frost spiders hot on my tail, I had no time to lose. Killing Senior with nothing but my bare fists would take forever.


    Leaving behind the furious Senior that would hopefully delay the spiders, I chose a random direction in the intersection and continued on my way through the bright tunnels. Not even a minute later, I came across a hole in the wall filled with frost spiders standing still.


    They didn''t stay still for long.

 Chapter 5

    [You have slain a Frost Spider. Experience gained.]


    [You have slain a Frost Spider. Experience gained.]


    [You have slain a Frost Spider. Experience gained.]


    [You have slain a Frost Spider. Experience gained.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 4.]


    ¡°Godfucking dammit!¡±


    I was running for dear life. After coming across that spider hole, the eight-legged bastards swarmed out of it by the dozens. Four of them managed to pounce on my back and bite me with their venomous fangs, and one even bit me in my fucking ass!


    The only silver lining was that the spiders were weak on their lonesome. I could pick them up with one hand, and a single slam against the crystal-studded tunnel walls was enough to kill them. I even considered trying to stand my ground and kill as many of them as possible.


    But then I looked back, and what I saw made my balls shrink in fear. The tunnel behind me was completely dark now, the crystals'' light completely blocked by the spiders'' bodies as they crawled all over the walls and ceiling.


    Nope, I wasn''t fighting that shit.


    The tunnel up ahead branched into two paths, and I had no idea which one to take. The choice was made for me though when a group of Bigfoots emerged from the left one. I thought they''d try to attack me like the other one did, but they just ignored me as they ran towards the right path. I soon learned why when I saw the swarm of spiders also chasing the Bigfoots.


    ¡°Shit, wait for me you hairy fuckers!¡±


    I followed right behind the Bigfoots as we ran from the spiders. It turned out the hairy fuckers were a godsend because they seemed to know the layout of the tunnels. We passed by several intersections already, and every time, they chose their path without hesitation.


    But instead of widening the gap between the spiders and our group, the distance only seemed to shrink as time went on. That''s because the tunnels were completely riddled with holes in the walls, and spiders were swarming out of them as soon as we passed them by. We reached a point where spiders were falling on our heads right as we passed the damnable holes. One even pounced on my handsome face.


    ¡°Argh! Get off my face!¡± I gripped the spider in both hands and ripped it apart.


    [You have slain a Frost Spider. Experience gained.]


    The short distraction caused me to slow down a bit, and the swarm went batshit crazy when the distance closed further. Up ahead, the Bigfoots also noticed what happened. They shared a knowing glance with each other.


    I felt my stomach drop as I realized what they were thinking. ¡°Oh, don''t you fucking dare.¡±


    The lead Bigfoot hooted, and their group suddenly started throwing the spiders that landed on their bodies in my direction. They intended to use me as a distraction just like I did with the first Bigfoot I fought! ¡°You fuckers!¡±


    Spider after spider was thrown at my face, and I had no choice but to slow down as I ripped them off. If I didn''t slow down, I''d risk tripping over a rock because of the spiders blocking my vision.


    [You have slain a Frost Spider. Experience gained.]


    [You have slain a Frost Spider. Experience gained.]


    [You have slain a Frost Spider. Experience gained.]


    [You have slain a Frost Spider. Experience gained.]


    [You have slain a Frost Spider. Experience gained.]


    The swarm behind me drew closer, and the skittering of their feet was now deafening. I had to do something or else I''d become spider food.


    As the Bigfoots threw another spider my way, I managed to catch it by its abdomen. Then an idea came to mind. Instead of killing the spider, I lobbed it back to the Bigfoot who threw it at me. The spider managed to cling to the Bigfoot''s foot, and when it started biting, the large ape cried in pain and fell down.


    ¡°Hah! Karma, bitch!¡±


    I hopped over the fallen Bigfoot, who roared furiously as I passed by. The roar quickly disappeared beneath the swarm.


    The Bigfoots ahead of me roared in fury as they doubled their pace to throw spiders at me. I was overwhelmed for a bit and had to kill the spiders as they crawled over my body, biting. But then I realized, did I really have to kill them? Their bites stung, but the worst their venom could do to me was make my skin itch.The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    I decided to let the spiders bite my body to their heart''s content and focused on throwing the spiders back at the Bigfoots. It turned out to be the correct decision as soon enough, four more of their number had fallen and became spider food. Only two Bigfoots remained ahead of me, and they decided to stop their tactic.


    Over the next few minutes, the tunnel started turning darker as the crystals in the walls diminished. The time also came when the spiders finally started to give up the chase. When I was sure that the spiders were far behind me, I decided to stop and take a breather. The Bigfoots, on the other hand, sent me one last glare before they continued on.


    At this point, I didn''t really need them anymore to lead me out of the tunnels. The bare rock that used to be the floor of the tunnel was now coated in a thin layer of snow. That meant I was near the surface, and that also meant the Bigfoots left behind a set of footprints that should be easy to follow.


    I sat down against the tunnel wall to recover. I was breathing heavily, but to my surprise, I wasn''t as tired as I should normally be. I''d been all-out sprinting for what must''ve been twenty minutes straight, yet all I had to show for it was my quick breathing. Even that quickly slowed down as my fatigue dissipated at a rapid pace.


    Then I remembered the description of my sole Trait.


    [Traits]


    Divine Body - Your body has been constructed by a god. Your body recovers faster and is resistant to ailments.


    Damn, I think the words ¡®recovers faster¡¯ does not only pertain to my health but to my stamina as well. I suppose Skorm still had some decency to give me some advantages after all. He was still an asshole, though.


    After just a few minutes of rest, I felt like I just had a good night''s sleep. ¡°This body is fucking awesome.¡±


    I continued walking again, and this time, I opted to go slowly and carefully. The light in the tunnel was almost non-existent now, and I didn''t want to accidentally wander into a spider hole.


    I followed the Bigfoots'' tracks with my eyes peeled for threats, and after a short while, I finally, finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. This time, I meant it literally and metaphorically.


    I traveled the last stretch of the tunnel with extreme paranoia, because if fate was about to fuck with me, it was gonna do it right before my goal. Fortunately, it seemed to show me mercy this time.


    I slowly emerged from the tunnel, my eyes squinted as my vision slowly adjusted to the bright daylight reflecting from the snow on the ground. Once the light wasn''t so blinding anymore, I took stock of my surroundings.


    The tunnel exit turned out to be located at a cliff that was very close to the mountain''s base. I could even jump off the cliff right now and I''d be at the base after a few seconds of falling. But of course, I wasn''t going to do that. Only idiots fell down mountains to expedite their journey.


    Fortunately for me, there was a narrow path that led down to the base. The Bigfoots'' footprints were present on the snow, but instead of leading down the mountain, they led to a fork in the path that led up.


    I hoped that I never saw the furry apes again.


    Eager to return to civilization, I hurried down the mountain path at a fast but careful pace. It only took me twenty minutes to finally reach the bottom of the mountain, and I didn''t even have to catch my breath.


    With the mountain now behind me, the next hurdle to overcome was the forest in front. On the other side of the woods was a city that I spotted from high up the mountain, and I couldn''t wait to reach it.


    First, though, I had to find something to eat.


    As I entered the forest, the snowy environment slowly transitioned into a green lush ecosystem. The air here was still cold, but it was magnitudes warmer than the top of the mountain. For the first time since I was dropped in this world, my balls weren''t freezing for once.


    My eyes scanned the forest for any source of food, and I immediately spotted one. It was a big bush with lots of red berries growing all over it. With my luck, these berries were likely poisonous, but I didn''t have to worry much about it thanks to my badass body.


    I began picking berries like there was no tomorrow, popping the little things in my mouth as soon as I plucked them from the bush. It had a citrusy sweet flavor with a very faint bitterness that honestly messed with the taste, but compared to raw wolf meat, the berries were heaven.


    A few minutes later, the bush was entirely bereft of berries, and my stomach was extremely full of them. I only realized later on that the bitter taste of the berries probably came from the seeds. In my hunger, I forgot that I shouldn''t have been eating the seeds.


    ¡°Bah, everything should be fine.¡±


    With a full stomach, I continued on my journey towards civilization. The day was still young, and I hoped to make large progress.


    But as always, life had the tendency of fucking me over.


    ????


    An hour after entering the forest, I heard the sound of rushing water nearby. I looked down at myself and grimaced at my hideous state. My shirt looked more like dishrags draped over my torso, the same as my cargo pants. My heavy-duty boots fared better, but like the rest of my body, it was heavily stained by blood, guts, and other sorts of nasty gunk. I haven''t checked yet, but I bet the blood and gore also reached inside my boots, judging by how I sometimes felt something squish when I walked.


    The worst part about everything else, though, was my beard. Formerly majestic and well-maintained, all that remained was a scraggly mess that was crusty with blood and bits of guts. Compared to everything else that happened to me, my beard being dirtied was probably the most painful thing.


    I changed course and made a beeline towards the sound of rushing water. I was in dire need of a good bath.


    I soon reached the source, which turned out to be a river of average size. Not like I was an expert on river sizes. I suppose size doesn''t matter, personality was more important.


    I quickly stripped myself of my clothes and waded into the ice-cold river with a little ¡®ooh¡¯. Once I was waist-deep in the middle of the river, I grabbed a handful of gravel from the riverbed and started scrubbing all over my body.


    I spent a solid twenty minutes scrubbing in the river just to clean away all the accumulated blood and dirt, and another ten minutes to just relax and feel the water current against my skin. It was a break I deserved after the hectic recent events.


    Of course, not everybody agreed on that last thought.


    I was woken from my relaxation by a huge splash nearby. When I turned to look, there was a goddamn bear swimming in my direction, its hungry eyes focused on my juicy ass.


    ¡°Can''t a man have a break for once?!¡±

 Chapter 6

    I hightailed it out of the river with the bear hot in pursuit. The good news: the big lug turned out to be as agile as a sack of rice, and after just ten minutes of running between the trees, I lost him. The bad news: I lost myself as well. In the heat of things, I forgot in which direction I ran, or if I even exited the river on the same side I entered it.


    Even badder news: I was naked as the day I was born. ¡°Goddamit, those boots were more than a month of my salary.¡±


    I was tempted to try and go find the river, but the thought of facing the bear again convinced me not to. The damn thing had an abnormal size, almost as big as a small truck. I don''t think I''ll get a chance to regenerate if that thing manages to reach me.


    That meant I had to finish my journey buck naked. Dammit.


    With all sense of direction lost, I climbed up a tree to try and get my bearings. It was a bit difficult what with my Little Bobby down there scraping against the rough tree bark, but all manner of discomfort disappeared when I reached the top. That''s because I immediately saw rising smoke far in the distance, which I knew came from the city. I had no idea why the city was smoking like that, but I guess I''ll find out when I get there. Hopefully, they''re not being bombed or some shit.


    Over the course of the day, I traveled in the direction of the smoke, climbing up trees from time to time to correct my bearing. This time, I made doubly sure to be subtle and quiet in my travel. The last thing I wanted was to attract the attention of another predator. I wondered why this world had some fucked up wildlife, but then again, they did have an asshole god of carnage. That said a lot about this place.


    I decided to stop for the day when the sun started setting. I managed to find shelter in a small overhang of stone, and after foraging some more wild and poisonous berries in the forest, I went to sleep.


    ?????


    The next two days of travel were much more peaceful than the first. With my senses on high alert, I managed to avoid confrontations with most of the wildlife in the forest. I attributed that success to my decision to smear mud all over my body to mask my smell. I looked like a crazed hobo in the forest, but at least I was safe.


    However, I was not so lucky today. Several hours after I began traveling for the day, I came across some very weird shit.


    Ahead of me was a small stream that I intended to drink water from. Normally, other animals would be present, sometimes even predators like wolves, so I made it a habit to assess the area first before taking my fill.


    This time, there were no animals at all. Instead, there were these small, green, humanoid critters camping beside the stream. They had pointed ears, bulbous eyes, sharp teeth, and the ugliest faces I have ever seen. They also stank to high heaven.


    These green little humanoids seemed to be sentient based on how they had tools and other rudimentary equipment. They even had clothing, though it just consisted of a piece of cloth covering their genitals. It was primitive, but then again, who was I to judge when I was walking around the woods buck naked and covered in mud?


    Are these little things actually the native inhabitants of this world? Then that practically makes me the first person on Earth to have ever seen a sentient alien, right? Though for aliens of another planet, it was honestly disappointing. I expected advanced tech and inhumane experimentations, not this unga bunga type of people. Heck, one of them just farted in another''s face and laughed like a menace.


    I spent ten minutes studying their camp while trying to decide my next course of action. The most obvious one was to initiate contact and attempt communication. However, that was a very risky endeavor, because the aliens were equipped with weapons. Their weapons consisted of flimsy weapons, sure, but a rusty spear would kill me just as easily as a gun if stabbed in the right location.


    But as reluctant as I was to initiate contact, I had no choice. The city I was heading towards could be filled with these green critters, so I might as well try to speak to them now. If there was one thing that reassured me, it was that I could probably crush them all if they decided to kill me. Each alien was only as tall as a toddler, and there were only seven of them.


    ¡°Well, here goes Diplomat Bob.¡±


    I emerged from the bushes, my palms raised to show I meant no harm. The goblins spotted me quickly, and they suddenly began shouting in a guttural language as they armed themselves and approached me with hostility.


    ¡°Hey, I mean you no harm,¡± I said as I stopped in place. ¡°Calm your tits for a second and drop your weapons.¡±


    Unfortunately, the goblins didn''t even try to understand my intention. Before the rest of them could even finish arming themselves, two of them were already charging at me with their spears pointed at me. With the height difference, their spears were pointed where Little Bobby was.


    ¡°Dammit, why is everything on this planet so goddamn bloodthirsty?!¡±


    As soon as the two green aliens came into range, I stepped to the side and tried to steal their spears at the same time. I failed to catch one, but the other one I managed to pull from the other''s grasp.


    ¡°Listen here, you little shits. I¡ª¡±Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.


    I didn''t get to finish before the alien whose spear I stole brandished a small shiv and stabbed me in my thigh. With the small weapon size, it didn''t pierce too deeply, but it was still painful.


    ¡°Argh! Dammit, fine! You wanna fight? Then I''ll fucking give you one!¡±


    I stabbed at the alien who stabbed me first, and unlike the shiv that barely pierced a few inches in my thigh, my stolen spear went through the middle of the alien''s chest and out its back.


    The alien looked at me with shock for a moment before slumping on my spear.


    [You have slain a Goblin. Experience gained.]


    It turned out the little critters were called goblins, and¡ª


    The other goblin took advantage of my distracted state and stabbed me in the abdomen. Pain clouded my mind as the spear tip dug into my insides, but it was completely replaced with rage.


    Before the goblin could pull its spear back, I gripped his head in both my hands and squeezed hard. The goblin screamed as it clawed at my arms, but there was a popping sound and the bastard went limp.


    [You have slain a Goblin. Experience gained.]


    When I turned to the five remaining goblins, they had finished arming themselves. Three were spinning slingshots while two approached me with melee weapons. One had another spear while the other had a rusty cleaver.


    This time, I took the initiative. I charged at their frontline with my stolen spear leveled at them. The spear-wielding goblin stabbed me in my side as I passed him by, but I just gritted my teeth and ignored him while I ran through his sword-wielding buddy. The small guy flew several meters from the impact, a spear skewering him.


    [You have slain a Goblin. Experience gained.]


    ¡°Get the fuck outta my face for a moment!¡± I growled. The notifications quickly disappeared from sight.


    Right as I was making my way to the spear goblin, the three sling goblins unleashed their payload at the same time. Two stones hit me in the side of the head and cracked my fucking skull. The last managed actually managed to hit me in the eye.


    I fell down from the impact. If one blinded eye wasn''t enough, my head was spinning and aching like someone was drilling into my skull.


    While I writhed on the ground, somebody pulled the two spears still stuck in my body and proceeded to stab me with them again and again. A third spear joined them, and then I felt two more stabbing me with shivs.


    I tried to fight back, but my vision was spinning so much that I could barely tell right from left. All I could manage was to swing at them wildly, which sent the goblins scurrying back before returning to stab me again.


    This happened several more times over the next few minutes as I waited for my head to heal. So much of my blood was already dripping down my mud-caked body, and I could already feel symptoms of blood loss.


    However, my head eventually did heal, and when it did, I was furious as fuck.


    A goblin moved to stab me, but I grabbed his spear and pulled him in. Before he could even utter a cry, I slammed a fist on top of his head with all my strength, crushing his skull. I took his spear as I faced the others.


    Two other goblins tried to stab me with spears. I stabbed one in the face and gripped the other''s neck in a tight grip. I squeezed hard, and the goblin''s neck broke.


    The two remaining goblins were chittering fearfully now and were winding up their slings. Not again, you little fuckers.


    I easily reached the two goblins before they could fire their missiles, and gripping each of them by their necks, I bumped their heads together hard, crushing their skulls at the same time.


    For a few moments, the forest was silent save for my quick breathing. When the rage finally stopped clouding my mind, I rushed to the stream to try and wash all the blood off me. Knowing the forest''s denizens, it was probably only a matter of time before some huge bear smells food.


    The stream ran red from all the blood I washed off my body, and after taking a quick drink, I ran away from the scene.


    ?????


    [You have slain a Goblin. Experience gained.]


    [You have slain a Goblin. Experience gained.]


    [You have slain a Goblin. Experience gained.]


    [You have slain a Goblin. Experience gained.]


    [Minor Regeneration has leveled up to Lv.6]


    [Through sheer effort, you have learned the Skill ¡®Unarmed Mastery.¡¯]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 5. You are eligible for a Skill choice.]


    [Please choose a Skill below.]


    1. Minor Physical Resistance - Slightly reduces all physical damage taken.


    2. Minor Poison Resistance - Slightly reduces the effects of poison.


    3. Minor Cold Resistance - Slightly reduces the effects of cold.


    4. Woodcraft - Provides a boost to proficiency in activities related to basic wilderness survival.


    I read my notifications as I munched on some berries. An hour had passed since I fought the goblins, and I had spent the entire time running away from the battle site. Just in time, too, because I heard the howling of wolves not long after I left the scene.


    Right now, I was hunched behind a thick berry bush, waiting for my eye to heal while reading the notifications I put aside during the heat of battle. It turned out my body could regenerate lost organs because I could feel my eyeball reforming, but it seemed like creating new organs took longer than normal. My entire body was already fully healed except for my missing eye.


    And here I thought I''d have to wear an eyepatch for the rest of my life.


    Going back to the notifications, I gained a lot from that brief scuffle with the stinky goblins. The level-up was sweet, the Skill choice more so, but what really mattered was the revelation that I could learn Skills through sheer effort. This meant that when I made my Skill choice, it better be a Skill that was too difficult to gain through practice.


    With that in mind, I chose my new Skill.


    [You have gained Minor Physical Resistance Lv.1]


    With how much I''d been taking damage recently, some may think that I''d just wasted my Skill choice on Minor Physical Resistance. But that''s the thing. I literally fell off a damn mountain, among other things, and I still hadn''t received the Skill naturally. That either meant that it could only be obtained through a Skill choice, or I had to go through even worse injuries just to learn it.


    There was no way I''m gonna subject myself to more debilitating shit on purpose just to get the damn Skill.


    With my Skill chosen, I brought up my status.


    [Status]


    Name: Bob Dinkle


    Age: 35 years


    Level: 5


    Race: Human


    Class: ¡ª


    [Skills]


    Minor Regeneration Lv. 6


    Unarmed Mastery Lv. 1


    Minor Physical Resistance Lv. 1


    [Traits]


    Divine Body - Your body has been constructed by a god. Your body recovers faster and is resistant to ailments.


    [Accolades]


    Champion of Carnage - The God of Battle and Carnage has chosen you as his Champion. Combat proficiency and battle intuition are significantly improved.


    Once I finished sucking the berry juice from my fingers, I continued on my journey.

 Chapter 7

    Five days had passed since my battle with the goblins, and I was now so close to my destination. When last I climbed up a tree to check my bearings, the city was now so close that I finally had a good glimpse of its appearance.


    By Earth''s standards, the city was not that big, though I guess that it was a bit of an unfair comparison when Earth didn''t have dog-sized spiders or other similar creatures that kept the human population in check. Then again, I haven''t been to Australia.


    Also, this city had a huge fucking wall surrounding it in its entirety, which I approved of immensely after meeting the local wildlife. It did kind of worry me though why they had to build it so high. I don''t know if it was just the mayor compensating for something or if there really was something out there that required such a wall to stop it.


    With my destination so close, I doubled my pace through the forest. I didn''t worry that much anymore about the local predators. Yesterday, I had detected almost no presence of maneating beasts or goblins, which I took as them staying away from the city. It was very good news, not just because of the reduced risks, but also because it finally told me that the city probably wasn''t run by goblins if they stayed so far from it.


    However, in the previous four days before yesterday, there was a lot of forest activity that led to a lot of hostile encounters. I ran into three more goblin camps, a group of wolves, and another goddamn bear. I managed to kill the goblins and the wolves, netting me two levels, but the bear I had to run away from. It was just too terrifying to face.


    Throughout my travel, I also confirmed an important facet of my levels: my physical attributes improved for every level I gained. At first, I hadn''t been so sure because I''d always been strong due to my physique and previous line of work. But when I shattered a wolf''s skull with a single punch to the head, I finally became sure that I had turned from strong to strong as fuck.


    Aside from my strength, I also noted my agility and stamina improving, though my agility seemed to improve so little, unlike my strength. Still, it made me happy all the same.


    I also found out that I could access a log of my past notifications, and I did so now to see everything I gained during the past five days.


    [You have slain a Goblin x8. Experience gained.]


    [You have slain a Goblin x7. Experience gained.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 6.]


    [You have slain a Goblin x9. Experience gained.]


    [You have slain an Eluvian Wolf x4. Experience gained.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 6.]


    [Minor Regeneration has leveled up to Lv.7]


    [Unarmed Mastery has leveled up to Lv.2]


    [Minor Physical Resistance has leveled up to Lv.3]


    I couldn''t help but grin at all the gains. If Earth also showed me the improvements in my life like this, I would have been much more motivated. I have to say, I liked this world better than Earth, even with the nasty wildlife.


    The sun eventually set before I could reach the city today, so I slept in the forest for one more night before waking up early the next day to continue traveling.


    And finally, a few hours after the sun had risen, the end of the forest was finally in sight.


    Doubling my already fast pace, I quickly reached the edge of the forest and gained a good view of the city walls. The white walls of the city almost shone under the light of the morning sun, and the area leading up to the city was flat and bereft of any obstacle or tree, probably to provide a clear view of any intruder approaching the city.


    But what really caught my attention were the guards manning the walls. They were humans! That alone was enough to give me massive relief, but the next thing I noticed made me pause. The guards were wearing metal armor and held spears like this was a Monty Python skit. Not only that, the wall was also equipped with large ballistas straight out of a medieval movie.


    You have got to be shitting me. If I had known this world was this primitive, I wouldn''t have said that I preferred this place to Earth. Who would''ve thought that I''d never be able to watch television again?!If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    I sighed in resignation as I approached the city. No sense in lamenting my situation. As usual, the only thing I could say is ¡°It is what it is.¡±


    I entered the dirt road that led to the city gates, and as I neared, I could spot the two guards standing by the gate standing alert. They looked badass in their polished bronze armor, and through the narrow slits of their closed-face helmets, I could see their wary eyes as they watched me approach. I''d be wary too if a mostly naked dude approached. I said mostly naked because I managed to make myself a skirt made of leaves a few days ago. It looked ridiculous, but it actually felt comfy. The openness meant my Little Bobby felt like floating in the clouds.


    When I came into hearing range, the guard on the right slammed the butt of his spear on the ground as he shouted ¡°Halt! You approach the city of Shieldhold. State your business, traveler.¡±


    The moment the guard spoke, a notification appeared.


    [You have encountered a foreign language. As a God''s Champion, you automatically learn any language you encounter.]


    [You have learned ¡®Arcadian.¡¯]


    And just like that, I suddenly knew of an entirely new language as if I''d grown up speaking it. These perks as a Champion were pretty damn neat.


    The guard who spoke first cleared his throat, and I was brought out of my reverie. ¡°Right, I''m here to find some shelter and get some good food.¡±


    There was a moment of awkward silence as the guards and I engaged in a staring contest. When they realized I was done speaking, the guard on the right, who I''m gonna start calling Righty, spoke again. ¡°Do you have any form of identification?¡±


    I looked down at my august self and shrugged. ¡°Sorry ''bout that, but I lost everything I had in the mountain.¡±


    Righty and the guard on the left, who shall now be called Lefty, glanced at each other. ¡°Which mountain are you referring to?¡± Righty asked.


    ¡°That over there,¡± I said as I pointed at the snow-covered mountain in the distance. ¡°It was crawling with spiders. They stole my bag and everything.¡±


    Righty looked me up and down. ¡°Including your clothing?¡±


    ¡°Oh, nah, I had to leave my clothes behind when a goddamn bear chased me away while I was taking a bath in a river,¡± I said.


    Righty and Lefty glanced at each other again, which was really starting to get annoying. ¡°Hold on a moment. I''ll be right back.¡±


    Righty left, leaving me alone with Lefty. Lefty looked more like an older guy who gave zero fucks about anything, and when he met my gaze, he shrugged. ¡°Don''t worry, the boy''s just checking the records if you''re wanted for some crime. I''ll be honest with you, you look like a deranged serial killer terrorizing the countryside.¡±


    ¡°I get it. I didn''t know you guys were strict around here.¡±


    ¡°Only when naked men covered in mud approach the city without any sort of identification.¡±


    ¡°You''re pretty straightforward, eh? I like it.¡±


    Lefty snorted. ¡°Why do you think I''m posted at the gate with little traffic?¡±


    ¡°So, care to give me any directions on where I could find some good food once I enter the city?¡±


    Lefty looked me over once more. ¡°You got any money?¡±


    ¡°I''m working on that problem.¡±


    ¡°Then I suggest you go to the City Hall. They give out free food for the destitute at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And if you need some quick work, you can apply at the Laborer''s Guild. Pay is abysmal, but at least it''s less risky than being a slayer.¡±


    His last word caught my interest. ¡°What''s a Slayer do?¡±


    That''s when I realized that I probably made a mistake. Lefty looked at me very weirdly, and I worried that he might arrest me or something. Fortunately, that didn''t seem to be the case. ¡°Mighty weird for someone to not know what a slayer is, but I''m not gonna pry. Slayers accept requests to kill monsters or gather rare materials out in the wilds, and they have their own Guild like the laborers. Being a slayer is lucrative, but if you''ve got a good head on your shoulders, you''ll stay away from the Slayer''s Guild.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, killing monsters is fun and all, but getting your ass bitten by giant spiders ain''t my kind of thing.¡±


    Lefty gave me a weird look, but before he could speak, Righty came back. ¡°Alright, you''re all good, traveler. But before I let you into the city, go use the baths inside the guardhouse. The Governor would skin our hides if we let you in looking like that. There''s spare clothing in the locker beside the showers that you can take for yourself.¡±


    ¡°Wow, thanks a lot, man. If I meet the Governor, I''ll put in a good word for you,¡± I said as I patted Righty on the shoulder. He frowned at the mud I left on his formerly shiny pauldron.


    ¡°I appreciate the thought, traveler. Good luck.¡±


    The guardhouse was a small building located beside the gate inside the city. I initially thought that it''d be filled with lounging guards playing cards or something, but it was completely empty. Maybe Righty and Lefty were the only ones using this building.


    When I found the bathroom, I had a bit of a cognitive dissonance when I saw the amenities. My image of the city was that of a primitive society with crude technology, but I was proven wrong when I was greeted by functioning showers. The pressure was strong, and it even had hot or cold options.


    This damn guardhouse was even better than the one I had at home.


    But all dissonance disappeared when I finally began showering. The familiarity of being under the shower soothed my weary soul, and it washed away both dirt and stress as I stood there for a while.


    I spent a good thirty minutes in the shower, and when I emerged, I felt like a new man. When I looked at myself in the whole body mirror, though, I realized that I actually looked like an entirely different dude. My hair and beard were long and unruly, my skin was a darker shade than before, and my body had lost a lot of muscle. I still looked ripped, but far from what I formerly had. Dammit, I knew the quick regeneration was too good to be true, it used my own body as fuel.


    After wiping myself dry and putting on the roughspun tunic and trousers given to me, I exited the guardhouse feeling fresh and ready to take on the world.


    My next destination was now the City Hall so I could get some decent food in my belly. I asked Righty for directions, and he told me to just follow the yellow brick road. That sounded suspiciously familiar for some reason.


    With that, I bid them goodbye and set off.

 Chapter 8

    Remember when I said that the city was a primitive one? Yeah, I was being a huge idiot.


    As I followed the yellow brick road, my jaw had already fallen slack several times as I looked around the city. Everything was breathtakingly beautiful as if it was taken straight out of a painting. From the beautiful architecture of the buildings down to the well-maintained roads, I felt like I was walking down one of those tourist spots that showcased history''s most prominent ancient cities at their heights.


    As I gawked at the sight around me, the yellow brick road suddenly opened up into a much wider section. Back at the gate, the yellow brick road must''ve been a mere seven meters in width, but now, it was almost as wide as a ten-lane highway. In the center of the road, dozens of horse-drawn carriages traveled noisily and filled the air with their horses'' clip-clops. Along the peripheries, where stalls and vendors were lined up on the wide sidewalk, large crowds of people bought and haggled over products.


    The scene of the bustling city finally drove the point home that I was in an entirely different world. I wondered why fighting man-eating monsters and reading floating notifications in my vision didn''t impress that fact to me too much, but then I realized, maybe because it still felt too familiar to me. My life on Earth was not nice, and I grew up in a neighborhood where gangs ruled the streets and loansharks broke the kneecaps of those who couldn''t pay in time.


    Living in that hellhole somehow felt similar to surviving in the forest, where I had to evade predators while defeating those weaker than me. Maybe that''s why I hadn''t really thought much about the fact that I was no longer on Earth.


    However, seeing people dressed in medieval clothing and horse-drawn carriages traveling the roads was just too surreal. I honestly felt like I was in a medieval fair, one of those events that the nerds I used to bully always went to.


    Pulling myself out of my reverie, I continued on my way to the City Hall. Along the way, I checked out all sorts of stalls and shops that sold food and trinkets that I''d never seen on Earth before. There was even a fruit that could bite a person''s finger if they tried to eat it raw.


    But out of everything I''ve seen so far, all of that was blown out of the water when I saw a woman who was not a human. No, I wasn''t referring to a goblin, fuck those bastards. Instead, I was referring to a person who looked almost like a human but significantly taller and with pointed ears! Even though she looked highly similar to a human aside from the ears, there was just something ethereal about her that distinguished her from the rest of the crowd.


    I must''ve been staring for too long because the not-human woman detected my gaze. When she saw me staring, she frowned and gave me a wary look.


    Right, I forgot that to most people, I looked like a thug.


    I pulled my gaze away from the woman and turned my focus somewhere else, which was then immediately stuck on another non-human person. This time, the person was a giant man-shaped rock as tall as me who was manning a stall that sold a variety of shiny rocks and minerals.


    I already learned my lesson from the pointy-eared woman, so I didn''t let my gaze on the Rock linger for too long.


    The travel time from the gate to the City Hall took almost an entire hour of walking, and when I finally arrived, I was met with a massive government building set in the center of a wide plaza. Fronting the City Hall were ten huge pillars supporting a pediment carved with intricate designs and letters. I couldn''t read the letters at all, so it turns out my free language-learning ability didn''t extend to writings.


    I walked up the pristine steps that led to the entrance of the City Hall, where two guards stood alert. They honestly reminded me of Righty and Lefty, though these two wore better and more intricate armor. Also, both of them were humanoid bulls. Yeah, that was something else.


    ¡°Excuse me, somebody told me the City Hall was handing out free food?¡± I asked one of the bull guards.


    ¡°The food bank is on the east side of the building, citizen,¡± the bull guard rumbled in a deep voice.


    ¡°Over there?¡± I asked, pointing where I thought East was.


    The bull guard stared at me for a moment before pointing in the opposite direction.


    ¡°Right, right. Thanks for the help, man,¡± I said. I could still feel the bull guards'' gaze on my back as I walked away. Was it suspicious if I didn''t know this planet''s cardinal directions? Eh, probably not. A lot of people back home don''t know how to determine east and west from the position of the sun either.


    It turned out the food bank was a small structure jutting out from the main building. There was a large window where workers were handing out bowls of gruel to a line of poor people like me. The line was suspiciously short, which made me think that the food they were giving out must be poisoned or something. It''s gotta be, because there was no way in hell people would pass up free food, right?Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.


    Or maybe this city just had very little poverty.


    I soon reached the front of the line, where the plump auntie-looking worker eyed me suspiciously and kept the bowl of gruel she was about to give me close to her bosom. ¡°Ain''t ever see ya ''round here before. And ya look mighty big for someone s''posed to be starvin''.¡±


    I shrugged. ¡°I fell on hard times, recently. I''ve become desperate enough to come here.¡±


    ¡°Uh-huh,¡± the auntie said with a suspicious side-eye, but she gave me the bowl nonetheless. ¡°We also hand out a free drink, but ya hafta return the bowl first before I give it to ya.¡±


    ¡°Thanks a lot, ma''am.¡±


    The auntie snorted at how I addressed her, though she did look amused. ¡°Don''t call me ma''am, ya bearded rascal. People ''round here call me Big Mama. Now scram, I''ve got another batch to cook.¡±


    ¡°Right, I''m Bob. Thanks for the food, then.¡±


    I sat on a nearby step and devoured my gruel with¡­ ¡®enthusiasm¡¯ was too generous a word. The gruel was saltier than the Devil''s armpit and contained bits of animal innards that didn''t match each other''s taste at all. Still, it was leagues better than raw wolf meat, so I finished the relatively generous serving of gruel with minimal gagging.


    When I returned the wooden bowl, Big Mama gave me a cup of pink liquid that smelled like berries. When I took a sip, it tasted a lot like a mixture of all the berries I once ate during my stay in the forest. Minus the poisonous ones.


    After finishing my drink, I returned the cup to Big Mama and propped my elbow by the counter. ¡°So, is the City Hall hiring?¡±


    Big Mama snorted as she sharpened her knives. ¡°You can''t just get work in City Hall willy-nilly. The Governor, bless her soul, vets her staff fiercely, down to the lowest cleaner. If ya really want to get in, ya''ll hafta work someplace else first and obtain a letter of recommendation from yer employer, and that employer should have no criminal records whatsoever. And that''s just the minimum requirement.¡±


    ¡°Sounds like a lot of effort. You know of other ways to get a job?¡± I asked. Lefty already told me about the Laborer''s Guild, but he didn''t say much about it. I wanted to hear more insight from other people before I went there. Fortunately, Big Mama went straight for what I wanted to know about.


    ¡°Just go to the damn Laborer''s Guild, boy. With those big muscles of yers, any job''ll be easy for ya,¡± Big Mama said as she began chopping up meat. ¡°Be warned, though. The clients ya''ll be workin'' for will be worse than damn slave drivers. With all the labor protection laws the Governor passed, the clients are forced to pay a hefty amount for their workers'' safety and rights, so they''ll do their best to wring every worth out of you within the bounds of the contract. So make sure to get someone to read the contract for ya if ya don''t know how to read.¡±


    ¡°I will,¡± I said. ¡°Thanks for the help, Big Mama.¡±


    ¡°Bah, just scram.¡±


    ?????


    The Guild Plaza was a large public square located near the City Hall where the various guild headquarters were located. The square itself was a park with a huge water fountain in the center and benches where people could sit and relax. The various headquarters lined the perimeter of the square, with the largest one being the Slayer''s Guild which occupied almost an entire city block.


    After asking around for directions, I found the Laborer''s Guild on the opposite side of the Guild Square. Compared to the Slayer''s Guild, the Laborer''s Guild was a much smaller affair and looked more like a boring government building. Behind the building were massive warehouses that actually dwarfed the guild headquarters.


    When I entered the building, I was greeted with an almost empty lobby. The only people around were the receptionists behind the counter set against the wall, who all glanced my way upon my entry.


    Not knowing how things worked around here, I approached one of the receptionists to ask.


    ¡°A pleasant afternoon, sir. How may I help you?¡± the receptionist asked, a young lady with a fixed smile on her face. The name tag on her chest said her name was Jessa.


    ¡°I''m here to look for a job,¡± I started. ¡°What do I do?¡±


    Jessa blinked at me once before replying. ¡°I take it you are not yet a member of our guild?¡±


    ¡°Nope.¡±


    ¡°Then the first step will be to register yourself, sir,¡± Jessa said as she retrieved a form beneath her desk as well as a pen. ¡°Do you know how to read and write?¡±


    ¡°Ye¡ª uh, actually, no.¡±


    ¡°Then I shall fill up the form for you, sir,¡± the receptionist said without batting an eye as she started asking for my basic information. ¡°Name?¡±


    ¡°Bob Dinkle.¡±


    ¡°Age?¡±


    ¡°Thirty-five.¡±


    ¡°Race?¡±


    ¡°Uh, human.¡±


    ¡°Level?¡±


    ¡°Seven.¡±


    Jessa''s hand paused as she looked up at me. ¡°Sorry, I may have misheard that. What was your level again?¡±


    ¡°Seven.¡±


    Jessa seemed speechless, and even the other receptionists were looking at me like I was some novel thing.


    ¡°Is there a problem?¡± I asked neutrally.


    ¡°Well, although there is no minimum required level for members at our guild, I''m afraid your job prospects will be¡­ limited. Since you haven''t reached level 10, you do not have a Class yet, so our clients will be unlikely to hire you,¡± Jessa explained. ¡°But if you truly wish to join us nonetheless, the city government is also one of our clients and is known to hire any personnel regardless of background or level, provided they have no standing criminal records. There is always an available job from the government. The only, um, disadvantage is that government-issued jobs are often unpleasant.¡±


    ¡°How unpleasant are we talking about?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ the government is currently hiring for sewer declogging and maintenance,¡± Jessa said almost sheepishly.


    I sighed. It was going to be a shitty job, but I had no choice. ¡°Sign me up, then.¡±


    ¡°Alright, then. There will be a fifty copper registration fee, but you can pay it in installments if you prefer,¡± Jessa said.


    ¡°How much is the interest if I paid in installments?¡±


    ¡°Not to worry, sir. We do not charge interest rates for registration fees,¡± Jessa said with a smile. ¡°I will be processing your registration now, Mister Dinkle. It shouldn''t take too long, and once I return with your guild badge, I will be briefing you about our guild regulations and then you''ll be free to, uh, take on some government work.¡±


    ¡°Looking forward to it,¡± I deadpanned. ¡°Anyway, thanks for the assistance, Miss Jessa. I''ll be waiting over there.¡±


    Jessa gave me a nod before going to the back to do whatever it was they did.

 Chapter 9

    The processing of my registration didn''t take too long. My ass didn''t even get to sit for more than ten minutes before Jessa came back behind the counter and called me over.


    ¡°Thank you for your patience, Mister Dinkle.¡±


    ¡°Just call me Bob.¡± I hated my last name. Why my ancestors chose a last name that also meant ¡®dick¡¯ was beyond me.


    ¡°Alright then, Mister Bob. Your registration has been duly processed and you are now a certified member of the Laborer''s Guild!¡± Jessa said with a convincing faked enthusiasm only a veteran customer service worker could match. ¡°The only thing left to do is to brief you about our regulations.¡±


    Jessa proceeded to drone about all the rules I had to follow. To make it short, three main rules must never be violated:


    1. All jobs I take as a member of the Laborer''s Guild must come through the Guild. No outside contracts.


    2. Disputes with clients or fellow Guild members must be settled through the Guild.


    3. I am not allowed, under any circumstances, to take a job that falls under the jurisdiction of the other Guilds unless I am also a member of that Guild. Jessa had been quite adamant about that.


    Aside from those three main rules, the rest were pretty much common sense. Most of Jessa''s lecture focused on the contracts between Guild members and clients and that I should be very careful before signing any legally binding documents. I had a feeling that members of the Laborer''s Guild were prone to being scammed.


    ¡°That wraps everything up, Mister Bob,¡± Jessa said as she handed me a metal identification card engraved with my basic information. ¡°This is your Guild card. All Guild-related matters will require your Guild card, including getting your payment for a job, so please take good care of it. You''ll need to activate it first, and to do that, all you have to do is smear it with a drop of your blood.¡±


    Huh? A drop of my blood? What bullshit is this lady suddenly spouting? What the hell is a drop of blood gonna do?


    I didn''t get to voice my questions before Jessa slid over a plate with a little spike at the center. ¡°Just prick your finger here, Mister Bob.¡±


    I honestly started to think she was some crazy loon, but I was pressured by the gazes of the other receptionists who were obviously watching our interaction curiously like nosy neighbors. Their attention was making me regret coming here when I was the only person around. Why the heck was the guild empty anyway?


    I pricked my finger on the spike and smeared the blood on my ID. I expected nothing to happen, but my mind was blown away by the next thing that occurred. The moment my blood spread throughout the face of the card, the letters fucking glowed, and the empty square on one side of the card began showcasing weird squiggly lines.


    I turned the card over several times, looking for the battery that powered the thing, because how could it just suddenly light up like that?


    ¡°What just happened?¡± I asked with a bit of shock in my voice, and for the first time, Jessa gave a genuine smile as she giggled.


    ¡°All Guild cards are enchanted, Mister Bob. When you smeared your blood on it, your mana signature was registered with our central database. Those lines there represent your mana signature.¡±


    Enchanted? Like, magical bullshit?


    I was this close to calling Jessa out on her bullshit, but then again, I was literally picked up by some crazy god and dropped into an entirely different world. Heck, there were floating notifications in my vision that told me how I got stronger every time I killed something. How I still didn''t realize that magic existed was beyond me.


    But as always, I told myself the same thing. It is what it is.


    ¡°Anyway, here are the details of the available government job,¡± Jessa said as she retrieved a sheaf of paper and began explaining to me. ¡°The client is the local branch of the Department of Waterways and Sanitary Works. The job is to ¡®clear and de-clog the sewers of the North, South, East, and West Highway.¡¯ The scope of work includes removing any blockages in the sewer system and reporting any structural damage.¡±


    Jessa put down the paper and retrieved another one, this time a map. She slid it to the center of the counter to show me. ¡°This here is a map of the city''s sewer network. The job is limited to the areas shaded in red.¡±If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    I looked over the map and took the opportunity to remember the city''s layout. The organization of the city was circular in nature, with the walls acting as the border and the City Hall being the center. The circle was divided into four areas by two straight lines that intersected at the City Hall perpendicularly. That meant there were four roads leading from the City Hall to each of the cardinal directions. Those must be the highways Jessa referred to.


    ¡°The primary method to enter the sewers is through designated manholes labeled on the map,¡± Jessa said as she pointed to the circles with a cross inside them drawn on various locations on the map. ¡°Remember, although you are authorized to descend to the first sublevel of the city, you are not allowed to go any deeper than that.¡±


    ¡°There''s something else beneath the city''s sewers?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Just the old sewer tunnels,¡± Jessa said. ¡°The old networks have been abandoned for a long time, so there is a high risk of being buried alive if you stomp around carelessly. So don''t go there.¡±


    ¡°Noted. Now, how about the pay?¡±


    ¡°The job pays four silvers a day, plus one silver for hazard pay. So that totals five silver per day with eight work hours daily,¡± Jessa answered. ¡°At the end of each shift, there will be an inspection to check on your progress. Once the inspector confirms the work done, they will give you a signed completion form that you will turn in at the Guild every day to receive your pay.¡±


    I had no idea how much five silvers were, but as long as I had a steady income to feed me, that was enough for me. ¡°Alright then. When do I start?¡±


    ¡°Come back early tomorrow morning to meet with the client. You''ll be briefed on the more specific details of your job.¡± Jessa reorganized the documents and put them inside a leather satchel before sliding the satchel over to me. ¡°Here you are. The satchel is a free bonus we give for those who join our Guild.¡±


    A free leather satchel? And if my eyes were correct, it was made of genuine leather. It had many pockets for utility and was stamped with the logo of the Laborer''s Guild: a hammer and chisel crossed together. I wonder how much it would sell for?


    ¡°That should be it for now, Mister Bob. If you have any more questions, please don''t hesitate to ask,¡± Jessa said.


    ¡°Nah, I''m good. Thanks for the bag, Miss Jessa.¡±


    With that, I walked out of the building with a brand-new satchel. With a job now secured, on to the next problem: where the fuck am I gonna sleep? I had absolutely zero funds right now, and the soonest that I could get my hands on some money was tomorrow evening after my shift. I couldn''t afford even the worst inn in the city.


    I sat down on one of the stone benches in the Guild Plaza as I brainstormed ideas, and the first thing that came to mind was to rob someone in the alleys. But I quickly veered away from that line of thought. I may have done something similar in the past due to desperation, but for this second life of mine, I wished to be a more upstanding citizen. God knows I''ve been enough of an asshole in my previous life.


    The second idea that came to mind was to hunt some ¡®monsters¡¯ outside the city and sell them for parts at the Slayer''s Guild. I heard other people talking about it, and they called their local wildlife ¡®monsters¡¯ for some reason. Then again, after recalling the giant spiders in the mountain, I agreed.


    The issue I had with monster slaying was the danger. I was tired of having to fight tooth and nail for my survival, and even though all my Skills at the moment were catered towards combat, that didn''t mean I should use them. Even though I had managed to survive every ordeal I faced so far, the time would eventually come when I didn''t. Just like what happened in my previous life.


    So two choices were laid out in front of me. The first was to go outside the city and kill some monsters to earn enough money to get me started, the second was to just eat the free slop they gave out at City Hall and sleep in the streets.


    My stomach grumbled, a mere hour after I''d just eaten Big Mama''s gruel. It was currently midday, and the next free meal was more than six hours away.


    Yeah, I wasn''t going to last at this rate.


    However, I had no intention of registering at the Slayer''s Guild right now. The issue of my low level was already made apparent at the Laborer''s Guild, and if I went to the Slayer''s Guild now, I was sure they''d kick me out for even trying to register at level 7.


    So I went straight to the city gates.


    ?????


    ¡°Got tired of civilization that quickly?¡± Lefty asked with a bored tone as I emerged from the city. Righty looked at me curiously as well.


    ¡°Nah, I got myself a job already at the Laborer''s Guild,¡± I replied. ¡°But I have a sore lack of funds right now, so I''mma head to the forest to bag myself a kill to sell at the Slayer''s Guild.¡±


    That perked up both guards quickly. ¡°You joined the Slayer''s Guild?¡± Lefty asked with a dissatisfied tone. ¡°And here I thought you had a good head on your shoulders.¡±


    ¡°A handsome head, yes, but not so bright,¡± I answered with a grin. ¡°And don''t worry about me, I''m tougher than I look.¡±


    ¡°The only worry I have is the paperwork we''d have to file when you don''t return,¡± Lefty scoffed. ¡°We have to report any missing persons.¡±


    ¡°Haha, I''m sure Warner was just joking,¡± Righty said. ¡°Oh, I''m Lance, by the way. I don''t think we got your name yet.¡±


    ¡°The name''s Bob. And is asking my name just so you know what to put on the missing persons report?¡±


    Righty, or rather, Lance, looked flustered while Warner laughed. ¡°Ha! It''s good that you pick things up quickly.¡±


    ¡°H-Hey, I was just curious,¡± Lance said as he shifted awkwardly.


    Now that I had a proper interaction with the two of them, I realized that Lance was very young, maybe in his late teens, while Warner looked in his fifties. I based that observation on their voices and manner since their closed-face helmets hid their appearance, but I had a hunch I was right.


    ¡°Nice to meetcha, then. Anyways, I''m off to hunt some shit. If I go missing, tell Big Mama at the City Hall her food killed me,¡± I said as I walked to the forest.


    ¡°Hey, if you wanna die, don''t bring us down with you,¡± Warner shouted behind me.

 Chapter 10

    As I walked once more under the shade of the forest''s thick canopy, I made a stark realization: I should''ve borrowed a spear from the guard duo, or at least a knife. Any sort of weapon would''ve made my life easier.


    Well, I suppose I''ll have to settle with my fists once more.


    The other issue I had with my current plan to hunt some monsters is that they only appear deeper in the forest. Given that I was doing this so I could afford to sleep under a roof tonight, it would defeat the purpose if nightfall came and I was still lugging my fat ass through the woods.


    Hence, I came up with an idea.


    I cupped my hands around my mouth and shouted as loudly as I could. ¡°TO ALL THE MOTHERFUCKERS OUT THERE! BOB''S OVER HERE AND HE''S GOT A JUICY ASS FOR YOU TO MUNCH ON!¡±


    Yeah, it probably wasn''t the smartest idea to make myself bait, but I didn''t say my plan was gonna be good.


    For the next two hours, I walked further into the forest while screaming my lungs out. Fun fact: my crazy regeneration rate meant my throat never hurt from all the screaming. It did go dry though, so I had to drink water from a nearby stream from time to time.


    Just as I was about to call it quits and decide to sleep under a bridge tonight, something finally answered my call. There was just one teensy tiny issue: it was a goddamn bear.


    ¡°Motherfucker!¡±


    The bear had suddenly emerged from a thick bush at a running pace, roaring and drooling everywhere as it tried to bite a chunk out of me. It took me by utter surprise, which was why my attempt to dodge it was only partially successful. The bear''s jaws managed to clamp on my left wrist and with a single tug of its head, it completely ripped my grubby hand off.


    ¡°Argh, you little bitch!¡±


    Rage and pain consumed my mind, and I found myself charging at the bear, all semblance of fear gone as my vision turned red.


    I started pummeling the bear''s head again and again with my remaining hand, heedless of the claws rending my flesh apart. Blood flew everywhere and splattered against the trees, but I had no idea whose blood it belonged to nor did I care. I just kept on punching and punching.


    At some point during the fight, the bear managed to slice a tendon in my leg, causing me to fall over. It charged forward at the opportunity to end me, but for the briefest second as it opened its mouth, I saw an opportunity of my own.


    Mere moments before the bear''s mouth tore into my abdomen, I darted my hand into its throat and gripped the base of its tongue tightly.


    That''s right, bitch. You''re about to die like my first kill in this world.


    I pulled with all of my adrenaline-fueled strength, and coupled with the force of the bear''s instinctive response to jerk its head away, the tongue ripped out with a satisfying noise.


    The bear went ballistic as blood began gushing out of its mouth like a river. It turned tail and started running away.


    ¡°Get¡­ back here¡­ you fucker¡­¡±


    I tried standing up with my one good leg, but I must''ve missed it during the chaos because it turned out that both my legs were mangled badly. Also, my innards were now outards hanging out of my belly. Gross.


    But despite my gruesome injuries, some part of my mind had detached from reality. I just shoved my guts back in there and started crawling after the bear.


    Following the blood trail, I crawled across the forest floor, rage and sheer stubbornness fueling my movements as mud and dirt-stained my ripped and blood-soaked clothing.


    The blood trail went pretty far, but I didn''t worry. That bear wasn''t gonna live to see the end of the day, while I had all the time in the world to catch up.


    Eventually, I reached the end of the trail after several minutes of crawling. The bear had fallen right beside a small pond, its blood staining the water red. It was still alive, albeit barely. Its eyes were dazed, and its breathing was short and rapid.


    I crawled closer, intent on killing the damn thing with my own hand. But by then, my rage had subsided just enough to allow rational thought to seep in. Reasoning came back to the driver''s seat, and all of a sudden, I felt like a complete idiot. It was already at death''s door, why the heck was I still putting myself at risk by getting closer?


    My desire to kill it with my bare hands warred with logic, but fortunately, my rational side won.


    So I waited. I didn''t have to wait long.


    [You have slain an Eluvian Bear. Experience gained.]


    [Minor Regeneration has leveled up to Lv.8]


    [Minor Physical Resistance has leveled up to Lv.4]The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.


    [Congratulations! The Gods have deemed your deeds worthy of an Accolade. You have obtained the Accolade ¡®Dauntless.¡¯]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 8.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 9.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 10. You are now eligible to choose a Class.]


    [Please choose a Class among the available Classes below:]


    1. Brawler¡­


    2. Mountaineer¡­


    3. Monster Slayer¡­


    4. Hand of Carnage¡­


    5. Berserker¡­


    6. Stubborn Bastard¡­


    A wall of notifications blocked my vision, and I slowly read them through them one by one as I lay on the grassy floor aching all over. My brain was woozy from the blood loss, but I shouldn''t be dying anytime soon thanks to my regeneration.


    The first few notifications shocked me as I read them. This was the first time that I leveled up more than once after killing a single monster, and it was three levels at that. Was the bear actually stupidly strong? Then again, it ripped my flesh apart like it was butter despite my Minor Physical Resistance. I guess I got lucky to have killed the damn thing.


    Maybe I should, uh, get some lessons on proper anger management. This shit is gonna kill me someday.


    The Skill level-ups were great, but when I saw the new Accolade, I quickly forgot about them and checked the Accolade''s description.


    [Accolades]


    Champion of Carnage - The God of Battle and Carnage has chosen you as his Champion. Combat proficiency and battle intuition are significantly improved.


    Dauntless - You have fought with no fear of death. You are now immune to magically-induced fear.


    Magically-induced fear? I had no idea what that referred to, but that was at least one less thing to worry about.


    Lastly, I reached the part where I could now choose a Class, and boy was there a lot to choose from.


    [Please choose a Class among the available Classes below:]


    1. Brawler - For those who love to hear the sound of flesh hitting flesh. The Brawler Class provides a significant boost to proficiency in unarmed fighting and physical prowess.


    2. Mountaineer - Life is a climb to the top, and the mountaineer reaches it first. The Mountaineer Class specializes in navigating and traveling through steep terrain and provides a significant boost to stamina.


    3. Monster Slayer - Slay the beast. The Monster Slayer Class provides a significant boost to physical and mental prowess, as well as a deeper understanding of monster physiology and weaknesses.


    4. Hand of Carnage - All the world is a lamb to the slaughter. You have been chosen by the Carnage God as his Champion and are thus given the opportunity to serve him faithfully. The Hand of Carnage is a religious Class that creates a direct connection between God and servant, allowing the Hand to harness the divine power of their God.


    5. Berserker - The oldest emotion of mankind is fear, but for Berserkers, it is rage. Berserkers excel in chaotic and uncontrolled combat, where the victor is declared to be the last man standing. The Berserker Class provides a massive boost to all physical attributes and immunity to pain in exchange for loss of emotional and mental control during combat.


    6. Stubborn Bastard - Death came knocking, but you told him to fuck off. The Stubborn Bastard Class provides a massive boost to overall resilience and regeneration, as well as an endless source of stamina. Physical and magical blows become mere annoyances while ailments become history. You are one stubborn bastard.


    Note: Classes can be changed through the World Crystals. Only one Class can be equipped at a time.


    That¡­ was a long and interesting read. It finally cleared up my lack of information regarding what a ¡®Class¡¯ was, and it turned out it was one''s profession in life, though I highly doubted it was as simple as that. After reading the description for ¡®Hand of Carnage,¡¯ I was pretty sure my Class was going to open and close a lot of doors in my future.


    Hence, I immediately disregarded the Hand of Carnage. That one reeked of trouble, and there was no way I''m gonna worship Skorm the Fucker. Fuck that, and fuck him.


    That left five choices to choose from, and I quickly eliminated Mountaineer and Berserker right off the bat. Mountaineer''s specialization was just too niche, and Berserker''s loss of emotional control during combat was a surefire way to die.


    That left Brawler, Monster Slayer, and... Stubborn Bastard.


    Honestly, it wasn''t even an argument. Stubborn Bastard was easily the best choice. It''s just that¡­ why the hell does its description sound so personal?! It felt like someone customized a Class just to call me a stubborn bastard.


    And why does the description even include a fucking swear word?!


    As much as I would like to spite the asshole up there who seemed to be making fun of me by not choosing the Class, the benefits were just too good to pass up. And besides, if I truly did pass it up just to spite them, that would truly make me a stubborn bastard. At least if I willingly chose it, it was just in name¡­


    [Congratulations! You are now a Stubborn Bastard. You have gained the Class Perk ¡®Stubborn as a Roach.¡¯ You no longer tire and natural regeneration does not consume calories.]


    [You have gained the Active Skill ¡®Hard as Fuck.¡¯ You can harden specific parts of your body, massively increasing their overall resilience. Mana cost: Low.]


    [Minor Regeneration Lv.8 has been upgraded to Regeneration Lv.2]


    [Minor Physical Resistance Lv.4 has been upgraded to Physical Resistance Lv.1]


    The instant I chose my Class, searing heat coursed all throughout my body as my regeneration went on overdrive. I could literally feel my flesh knit itself back together as a thin layer of smoke emanated from my skin from all the heat. It was excruciating.


    When the heat finally subsided, I realized that my body was as good as new. No wounds, no scratches, no guts spilling out my belly. And it all happened in less than a minute.


    Goddamn, that was some next-level bullshit right there. I could see now why the Guilds put so much importance on people''s Classes. It was a massive game-changer.


    However, I had a hunch that my Class was far from the norm. After reading the descriptions, it was obvious that not all Classes were equal, and Stubborn Bastard and Hand of Carnage seemed like they were in a league of their own. Even Berserker seemed above the norm.


    Well, no matter the Class, all that mattered was that I now had something to sell to the Slayer''s Guild.


    Then it dawned on me. Which part of the bear was I supposed to sell? I think the pelt is supposed to be the main product, but I had no idea how to skin one. Even if I did, I didn''t have a knife.


    ¡°I guess I''ll just carry the entire damn thing.¡±


    Grabbing the bear''s rear legs and putting them over my shoulders, I started dragging it towards the city. To my utter surprise, the corpse was not as heavy as it looked.


    Or rather, I was now powerful enough to drag a minitruck-sized bear. Now that there is something else entirely.


    With thoughts of selling the bear for lots of money on my mind, I began the long journey back to the city.

 Chapter 11

    The sun was setting and there were only a few minutes left before the city bell tolled to signal the evening. Warner''s long shift was thankfully about to end, not like it was tiring or anything. He practically spent the entire day lounging on his chair. Proper protocol dictated that gate guards must stand at attention at all times, but nobody supervised them anyway.


    ¡°Do you think something happened to him?¡± Lance asked, the young man''s eyes filled with worry as he looked out at the border of the Eluvia Forest.


    ¡°Probably,¡± Warner said as he yawned and lit a cigarette. He lit it with a match and took a deep inhale. ¡°You probably shouldn''t worry, though. Did you even see the man? Built like a juggernaut, that one.¡±


    ¡°Never judge a person''s strength based on their appearance,¡± Lance replied with a level tone like he was reading a passage from a book. Considering that the boy graduated from the Shieldhold Academy, Warner thought that Lance''s words probably did come from a book.


    ¡°Well, even if the man was a level one, he''d beat you in a contest of strength, I bet,¡± Warner said as he puffed smoke.


    Lance frowned at Warner. ¡°We''re not allowed to smoke on the job, you know.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I know,¡± Warner replied as he exhaled a lungful of smoke and coughed. ¡°Anyway, how are you doing with that baker girl you''re dating? She used to bring you pastries of all sorts on your shifts, but it''s been a week since she last came here. I''m starting to miss her sugar rolls.¡±


    Lance stiffened upon the mention of the girl, which told Warner everything he needed to know. ¡°Is it over?¡± Warner asked.


    ¡°None of your business,¡± Lance said with a tight voice.


    ¡°So why did it end?¡± Warner asked as he continued puffing, his cigarette creating lazy trails of smoke that snaked upwards. ¡°Cheating? Falling out? Her parents didn''t approve? Performance issues at night? Oh, I know. She didn''t like how you always dictated what she should do or not do, didn''t she?¡±


    Based on how Lance flinched, Warner hit the nail right on the head. ¡°And here I thought you only exposed your holier-than-thou attitude to me,¡± Warner chuckled.


    ¡°Can you please stop it?!¡± Lance shouted. ¡°I get it, alright? I''ve been arrogant. You don''t have to shove it to my face, I know where I went wrong.¡±


    ¡°Just making sure,¡± Warner said. ¡°So, what did she say when you apologized?¡±


    Lance shifted awkwardly. ¡°We¡­ we haven''t spoken with each other yet after the uh... breakup.¡±


    ¡°Then get to it after our shift ends,¡± Warner said as he finished his cigarette. He dropped it on the ground and stomped it with his heel. ¡°I better be eating sugar rolls by next week, or else I''ll tell Camille that you''ve been slacking on the job.¡±


    ¡°Hey! You''re the one slacking all day!¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah? Who''s the one who forgot to ask the stranger''s name when he arrived at the gate this morning? The man was naked, covered in mud, and dressed in a damn skirt made of leaves while spouting a nonsense story. The proper process would have been to detain and interrogate him, but instead, you let him shower in our barracks and give him some clothes.¡±


    Warner could almost see Lance''s embarrassment from behind his helmet. ¡°D-Detaining someone without a criminal record is illegal!¡±


    ¡°It isn''t when the man looks like some serial killer living in the woods,¡± Warner snorted.


    ¡°Why didn''t you detain him, then, if you found him suspicious?¡± Lance challenged.


    ¡°Easy, he didn''t trigger my Bounty Hunter Skill, so he was probably alright.¡±


    ¡°See, so my decision to help him was right,¡± Lance said.


    ¡°No, this is not about whether what you did was right or wrong, kid. This is about why you did what you did,¡± Warner said with a shake of his head. ¡°What if I wasn''t here? The man could have been a real serial killer and you just let him into the city with a free bath and clothes that could implicate you when he''s been captured for murder. Remember, your post here was done to test you, not me. You''re all alone in this kid, I''m just here to clean up any mess you leave behind.¡±


    Lance glared at Warner from behind his helmet, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. Then he turned away and remained silent. Bah, kids these days. Can''t even take a whit of criticism.


    ¡°Well, just do better next time,¡± Warner said with a sigh as he stood up from his chair. Lance looked at him weirdly, probably because he usually never stood up before the bell tolled to signal the end of their shift.


    ¡°Is there something wrong?¡± Lance asked.


    Warner had to admit, at least the kid was observant. ¡°Get ready, boy. I sense something coming out of the forest. Feels strong.¡±


    Lance''s posture suddenly turned rigid as he readied his spear with both hands, his eyes focused on the dark treeline ahead. By this time of the day, the wide field ahead of them was mostly covered in shadows.


    A few moments later, a silhouette of a large creature emerged from the treeline. Its shape was weird, and its gait was even weirder. Warner furrowed his brows. Is that¡­


    ¡°It''s coming!¡± Lance cried beside him. ¡°W-What the hell is that?! Sound the alarm!¡±


    Lance moved to ring the bell that signaled a monster attack, but Warner whacked his hand with the shaft of his spear. ¡°Calm down, boy. It''s a false alarm,¡± Warner said as he sat back down on his chair. However, he was far from bored now. What the hell did that man do in the forest?


    The silhouette approached the light of the torches, soon revealing the giant of a man who had come to the city this morning naked and covered in mud. This time, he returned pretty much the same: his clothes were all ripped and ruined, and he was covered in mud and blood.This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.


    However, the main difference between then and now had Warner smiling. ¡°Well now, what do you have there?¡± Warner asked as Bob walked into the light dragging something behind him.


    ¡°Evening,¡± Bob greeted as he paused in front of them. ¡°Managed to hunt some big game in the forest. How much do you think this bastard''s gonna sell for?¡±


    ¡°Is¡­ is that an Eluvian bear?¡± Lance asked with a confused expression. ¡°Where did you find the corpse? It looks so fresh.¡±


    ¡°Find?¡± Bob asked. ¡°No, I killed the damn thing. Bastard beat me up real good, too. Too bad he couldn''t survive having his tongue ripped out. Hah!¡±


    ¡°Y-You hunted this all by yourself?¡± Lance asked incredulously. ¡°Without weapons and armor?¡±


    Bob looked down at himself. ¡°Yeah, I was probably underequipped for my little trip. Doesn''t matter, with this, I can now earn some money and have a roof over my head tonight.¡±


    ¡°You do know that there is a shelter for the homeless, right?¡± Warner asked. The way Bob''s face fell had Warner laughing loudly. ¡°You damn idiot!¡±


    ¡°Oh fuck off!¡± Bob exclaimed as he started dragging his prize into the city.


    By the time the huge man was out of sight and the bell was tolling, Warner was still laughing.


    ¡°Hey, stop fooling around, isn''t this concerning?¡± Lance said worriedly. ¡°There''s a new powerful guy in town. Camille had standing orders to inform her of powerful people entering the city.¡±


    ¡°Oh now you''re suspicious about the guy,¡± Warner scoffed as he wiped a tear from his eye. ¡°Nevertheless, you''re right. Camille''s gonna want to hear about this. It''s not every day you see some random guy hunt a godsdamned bear without any sort of gear.¡±


    After sealing the Northern Gate, Warner and Lance started making their way to the City Hall to meet Governor Camille.


    ?????


    My Class sounded ridiculous and embarrassing, but goddamn was it amazing. I practically jogged the entire journey back to the city while dragging an entire bear behind me, and when I finally entered the city, I did not feel even a single ounce of fatigue.


    It. Was. Fucking. Amazing.


    My good mood took a bit of a hit though when Warner told me about the homeless shelter. Why did he not tell me that sooner? Wasn''t it obvious that I was damn penniless when I entered the city? I wouldn''t have risked my life in the forest if I''d known about that!


    Well, at least I reaped a lot of rewards from this single trip. One could almost say that I should just become a full-time slayer. But a life of death and killing was not for me. I''ve already seen enough of that in my previous life.


    Right now, I was walking along the North Highway as I made my way to the Guild Plaza. Fortunately, the bear had long bled out as I dragged it through the forest, so it no longer left a trail of blood. Staining the yellow brick road with monster blood could get me fined.


    As I walked, people would stare as they pointed at the huge bear behind me. Was it really that weird a sight? I figured that with people in this world having levels, everybody would be used to the sight of people lugging heavy objects with their sheer muscle strength.


    I endured the intense scrutiny all the way to the Guild Plaza, and when I finally arrived in front of the Slayer''s Guild, I left the carcass in a vacant space at the front before entering the building.


    If the Laborer''s Guild caught the drabness of a government building perfectly, then the Slayer''s Guild captured the ambiance of a history museum. The lobby was decorated with all sorts of monster skeletons and ancient relics, some of which were even glowing with what I assumed was magic. Honestly, though, I think it was fake lighting.


    Unlike the Laborer''s Guild, the Slayer''s Guild also had more people present. These people were dressed in various gear and armor, and most of them were seated at a tavern connected to the lobby.


    I approached the counter which I quickly noticed was completely manned, or should I say womanned, by bombshell women who wouldn''t look out of place in a supermodel magazine.


    It honestly felt intimidating, though based on their reactions when they saw me approach, I think it worked the other way around. When I chose a receptionist to go to, the others gave her a pitying look.


    What the fuck was up with that?!


    ¡°Welcome to the Slayer''s Guild, sir,¡± the receptionist I chose said with a strained voice. She had flowing blond hair that fell to her waist and beautiful blue eyes that seemed to stare into my soul. It was honestly creepy. Also, her name tag said her name was Hera.


    ¡°Good evening, Miss Hera. I heard you guys bought monster corpses?¡± I asked as I pointed my thumb at the exit. ¡°I''ve got a whole Eluvian bear corpse outside.¡±


    ¡°We do buy monster materials, sir, but I''m afraid we could only purchase them at a low price if the seller is not a member of the Slayer''s Guild,¡± Hera said.


    ¡°I''d like to register, then,¡± I said.


    All of a sudden, Hera''s eyes lit up. ¡°Certainly! You''ll just have to fill up this form.¡±


    ¡°I can''t read or write.¡±


    ¡°No worries, I can fill it up for you,¡± Hera said without missing a beat.


    I proceeded to tell her the basic information I also gave to the Laborer''s Guild, except for my level and Classes. Apparently, the Slayer''s Guild valued their members'' privacy immensely and simply settled with asking what my Class was good at.


    ¡°My Class is good at soaking up damage and fighting a battle of attrition,¡± I said after a brief consideration.


    ¡°Alright, that should be all the information we need, Mister Dinkle,¡± Hera said as she put what I assumed was her signature at the bottom of the document. ¡°Now, this should be enough to register you as a probationary member of the Slayer''s Guild pending approval. But if you choose to participate in our combat exam, we can immediately assign you a rank and make you a fully-fledged member right away.¡±


    ¡°Just call me Bob. And can I sell my Eluvian bear at full price as a probationary member?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Hera answered. ¡°But I highly suggest you take the exam, Mister Bob. A probationary member can only take unranked quests, while full members are granted access to all quests appropriate to their rank as well as many benefits, including¡ª¡±


    ¡°No thanks, lady. I''m sure being a full member is great and all, but it probably comes with strings attached,¡± I said. ¡°I just want my bear sold.¡±


    Hera looked deflated after that, but she still nodded as her professional look quickly returned. ¡°I understand. I''ll be sending someone over to examine the bear you brought and put a value on it.¡±


    Judging by how Hera really wanted me to become a full member, I bet the receptionists receive a commission for it. What if I told her I''ll become a full member if I get a cut¡­


    No no no. I already told myself I''d be an upstanding citizen in this life. Under-the-table deals were a no-go.


    ¡°Oh, by the way. Do I have to pay for any registration fees?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Oh, no. Registration at the Slayer''s Guild is free, Mister Bob,¡± Hera said.


    ¡°Alright, thanks for the assistance, Miss Hera.¡±


    I went outside to check on my bear. There was a group of four people, slayers by their appearance, checking out my product. When they saw me approach, a man in his early twenties kitted out in full plate armor that looked extremely expensive stepped forward to address me, his scarlet hair shining in the light. ¡°Peasant, are you the one who owns this bear?¡±


    That was a rather rude tone to take with someone you just met, but maybe it was his quirk of speech. ¡°Yeah,¡± I said.


    ¡°I want to buy the entire thing. Ten gold,¡± the man said.


    I honestly had no idea how much that money was, but I had a feeling it was quite a lot. My gut instinct when it came to money was usually correct. Too bad he didn''t come earlier. I already sold this thing to the Guild. ¡°Sorry, bub, but I already sold this furry bastard to the Guild.¡±


    The young man glared at me for some reason, and one of his companions, a middle-aged man also geared in full plate armor, stepped forward with a furious look. Actually, all of his companions wore full-plate armor. ¡°You must have a death wish for calling the Young Master in your crude naming sense, peasant. We will take the bear as compensation for your rudeness.¡±


    I blinked in confusion. What the hell was this fucker talking about?

 Chapter 12

    ¡°What in the fuck are you going on about, dickhead?¡± I asked, my temper starting to rise.


    The entire group looked at me incredulously as if I was the one being weird. Even the bystanders nearby looked at me like I had just eaten their babies. What in the actual fuck was going on?


    ¡°Don''t you know who I am?¡± the red-haired young man exclaimed.


    ¡°No. With how many assholes I meet every day, all your faces are starting to get mixed up,¡± I said, and I heard gasps and laughter from nearby people.


    ¡°You dare?!¡± the young man shouted as he drew his sword. ¡°I''ll give you one chance to beg for forgiveness, you filthy rabble, or I''ll cut you down!¡±


    My mind immediately snapped to a sharpened state when the bastard drew his sword. ¡°Do it, you fucking pussy,¡± I growled.


    The young man''s eyes widened in sheer rage, and the bastard really did swing his sword at me.


    And he was fucking fast.


    Before I could even try to dodge it, his blade bit into my shoulder but stopped at the bone. Everybody at the scene seemed shocked that the man had the balls to do it, even the fucker''s companions. Heck, even the young man seemed surprised at what he did.


    But unlike them, I didn''t waste the time gawking. This fucker just tried to kill me, and I was gonna kill him back.


    With one hand, I caught Red Hair''s wrist in a death grip, and with the other, I held his neck and started squeezing as hard as I could. The fucker''s eyes started bulging like a fish. ¡°You shouldn''t have done that, asshole.¡±


    ¡°Protect the Young Master!¡± the middle-aged man shouted, and the two other armored companions charged in. I''m gonna call them Tin Can 1, 2, and 3 respectively.


    Tin Can 1 moved even faster than Red Hair did, and when he swung at my hand holding Red Hair''s neck, his sword glowed magically.


    And then my hand got chopped off easily.


    Tin Can 2 and 3 were not far behind, and they stabbed their swords at my torso. This time, though, I used my Class Skill for the first time and hardened my entire torso.


    A fat lot of good it did for me.


    The swords still managed to pierce through me like I was butter and hit my heart and lungs. That was probably not good.


    I heard a lot of shouting in the background, but my mind was too far gone in my rage and pain to process it. All I wanted was to kill the motherfucker who started all this shit.


    I yanked Red Hair towards me, my eyes focused on his neck bruised from my previous stranglehold. With my other hand chopped off and two swords stabbing into me that prevented movement, I settled with using my mouth.


    I was gonna rip the fucker''s throat out with my teeth.


    However, moments before I could seal Red Hair''s fate, a powerful concussive force suddenly hit me like a truck, sending me flying. I smacked into the stone wall of the Slayer''s Guild courtyard wall hard and fell on my ass. Everything hurt, but at least the sword stuck in my heart was lodged out, allowing my precious organ to heal.


    The next few moments were a blur as my head suffered from a bad concussion. I think my impact on the wall cracked my skull.


    My dizziness didn''t last long, and within half a minute, I was already standing back up, my wounds closing quickly. My hand was still missing, but it was already starting to grow back.


    My eyes locked on Red Hair a few meters away, who had been sent flying from the force the same way I did.


    Before I could even take a single step forward, somebody blocked my view. It was a huge man wearing mismatched armor, though not as big as me. He held a palm in my direction. ¡°Easy there, big guy. That''s enough. The Young Master already got what he deserved.¡±


    ¡°I don''t give a shit,¡± I growled as I moved forward. ¡°Fucker tried to kill me in broad daylight. I''m not letting that go.¡±


    ¡°Oh you will, Mister Dinkle, or you''ll have me as your opponent,¡± a voice called out from the side. When I looked over, a reed-thin old man stood there with a dissatisfied expression on his face. He was dressed in an immaculate gray suit, which matched his graying hair.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.


    ¡°Who the fuck are you supposed to be?¡±


    ¡°I am Morgan Thorn, Guildmaster of the Shieldhold Slayer''s Guild,¡± the old man said. ¡°There are plenty of witnesses here today, Mister Dinkle¡ª¡±


    ¡°Bob,¡± I interrupted. ¡°Call me Bob.¡±


    ¡°Fine. There are plenty of witnesses to the incident, Mister Bob, and all can testify that what you did was an act of self-defense,¡± Morgan continued. ¡°However, if you try to continue the fight, this will be seen as an assault against the Governor''s nephew, which will be punished severely.¡±


    ¡°The red-haired fucker is the Governor''s nephew?¡± I asked, my rage quickly subsiding. ¡°Well shit.¡±


    ¡°Indeed, Mister Bob. The situation is already as delicate as it is, and I suggest you take the opportunity to walk away from this without punishment,¡± Morgan said.


    ¡°How about that asshole?¡± I said as I gestured at Red Hair, who was now being tended by multiple healers. ¡°He gonna get away with this without repercussion too?¡±


    ¡°He is going to get away with this indeed, Mister Bob,¡± Morgan said, then his eyes turned harsh. ¡°But not without repercussions. Rest assured that justice will be dealt with accordingly, Mister Bob. Now please, I''d like you to leave the vicinity as soon as possible before the guards arrive to complicate things.¡±


    ¡°How about my payment for the bear, though? I literally got no money on me.¡±


    Morgan snapped his finger, and one of the Guild staff, which I realized was Hera, came over to hand me a large pouch. It jingled quite nicely to my ears.


    ¡°That''s twenty gold total, Mister Bob. Ten in gold coins, ten in silver coins,¡± Hera said, her demeanor nervous as she spoke to me.


    ¡°That''s a lot of money,¡± I muttered. I think. I had no idea about how much it really was. ¡°Thanks, Miss Hera. Sorry for the inconvenience.¡±


    Hera simply nodded at me before walking away.


    ¡°Five gold for the bear, fifteen for the inconvenience caused while you were in Guild grounds,¡± Morgan said as he looked me up and down. ¡°And for what it''s worth, I apologize for having to use force magic on you. If I didn''t, then you''d have probably succeeded in biting the throat out of the Governor''s nephew.¡±


    ¡°That was you?¡±


    ¡°Indeed. Fortunately, you seem to be the resilient type.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I''m hard to kill,¡± I said as I secured the coin pouch in my satchel that had probably seen better days. It was completely covered in dried blood, all of it mine. ¡°Anyway, I''m leaving. Here''s to hoping that this is the last time I set foot in your Guild.¡±


    ¡°I doubt that, Mister Bob. Have a good evening.¡±


    ?????


    As the giant man walked away, Morgan sighed as he walked toward the Governor''s nephew and his bodyguards. The old man was the only one who knew how lucky everyone had been that he was still in the Guild Hall to finish some paperwork. If he hadn''t been there, the situation would have turned a lot bloodier. He didn''t want to imagine what he would even say to the Governor if she learned of her nephew''s demise.


    ¡°Young Master Camaro,¡± Morgan said as he approached the young noble. The man was seated on the ground with wide, terrified eyes as he absently clutched at his neck. There was a hideous hand-shaped bruise around it.


    ¡°The Young Master is occupied for the moment, Guildmaster,¡± the head bodyguard said brusquely as he blocked Morgan''s path.


    ¡°The law does not care for such trivialities,¡± Morgan said with a flat expression. ¡°The Young Master Camaro has violated the rules of the Guild while staying within our grounds. The Guild will be pursuing charges against him for the attempted homicide of one of our probationary members. As the Guildmaster, it is well within my rights to act as an enforcer of the law given that the crime occurred within my jurisdiction. If you try to hinder me, I can also charge you with obstruction.¡±


    The head bodyguard gritted his teeth but reluctantly stepped aside. His eyes tried to bore holes into Morgan''s back, but the old man was unperturbed.


    ¡°Young Master Camaro,¡± Morgan said once more as he stood before the young man, who refused to look him in the eyes. ¡°The city guard is probably on their way to pick you up. As much as we all know that I am well within my rights to have you arrested for the crime you committed, your status as the Governor''s nephew will ensure that you remain out of bars. Hence, I will tell you this: from now on, you and your immediate family are blacklisted from any and all services of the Shieldhold Slayer''s Guild, up to and including the application for membership. Our doors are forever closed to you. Good day.¡±


    ¡°Wait! You can''t do this!¡± Camaro shouted, his voice hoarse from the recent strangulation. ¡°I-I''ll pay any fine you ask for! Please, just don''t blacklist us! I want to join the Guild!¡±


    ¡°You can avail the services of other Guild branches, Young Master Camaro. But never with ours,¡± Morgan said coldly before walking away. ¡°Have a pleasant evening.¡±


    The city guard arrived just in time. Morgan didn''t even bother arguing with their captain and just ordered his people to hand over the young noble.


    As the Young Master was escorted away in a carriage, Morgan sighed once more. He had a feeling that the days ahead were going to be bumpy.


    ¡°Got a lot on your mind, old man?¡± a voice asked. It belonged to Derric, leader of the gold-ranked slayer party called ¡®The Bravers.¡¯ He was also the one who stood in Bob''s way before the man could do something he''d regret.


    ¡°Show respect to your elders,¡± Morgan said, though there was no heat to his voice. ¡°It''s because of you young ones that my hair is going gray.¡±


    ¡°Gray looks good on you anyway. Fits your ¡®stick-up-your-ass¡¯ persona,¡± Derric chuckled. ¡°Anyway, that new guy had some big balls on him to stand up to that noble and survive. Where''d you find him?¡±


    ¡°I didn''t. He just came to the Guild right now to sell a whole Eluvian bear carcass in pristine condition, which the Young Master Camaro probably wanted to obtain to gain Guild membership,¡± Morgan said. ¡°I know absolutely nothing about him, yet my guts are telling me to keep a careful eye on him. He seems like the type to cause trouble wherever he goes.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I think so too. That guy has some serious issues. Did you even see the bear carcass for yourself? Its head was mangled beyond recognition, and Amara is telling us it was killed by repeated blunt trauma to the head. I don''t think you''ve noticed, but the new guy didn''t have a weapon on him.¡±


    Morgan frowned. ¡°I''m hiring your party. Keep an eye on that man and report anything suspicious back to me.¡±


    Derric grinned. ¡°Now that''s what I like to hear. But first, let''s talk payment.¡±

 Chapter 13

    Warner and Lance had just arrived at the City Hall when the news arrived: there had been an attempt on Young Master Camaro''s life at the Slayer''s Guild. The news came from a runner sent by a Guard Captain.


    ¡°Well, would you look at that? There''s our free ticket to meet with the Governor,¡± Warner said as he patted the panting runner on the shoulder. ¡°Don''t worry, boy. We''ll get the news to the Governor. You can rest for the moment.¡±


    ¡°T-Thank you, sir.¡±


    ¡°C''mon, Lance. Time to meet your sponsor again.¡±


    ¡°Don''t call her that,¡± Lance grumbled. ¡°The Governor is my benefactor.¡±


    Warner and Lance made their way to the top floor of the city hall where the Governor''s office was located. Two heavily armored guards stood at both sides of the door to the office.


    ¡°State your business,¡± one of the guards said.


    ¡°Here to make an emergency report to the Governor,¡± Warner said, then gestured at Lance. ¡°Also, her son misses her.¡±


    ¡°I am not her son,¡± Lance said through gritted teeth, much to Warner''s amusement.


    ¡°Oh come on, kid. Stop fooling yourself. She picked you up from an orphanage, didn''t she? I know that you want her to be your mother.¡±


    ¡°Stop it! I am her apprentice,¡± Lance said with a glare, though his ears were reddening in embarrassment.


    The two armored guards shrugged at each other before one of them knocked and peeked inside the door to announce Warner and Lance''s arrival.


    ¡°Let them in,¡± a voice said from inside.


    Warner and Lance entered the spartan office of Shieldhold''s governor with comfortable familiarity. Warner plopped himself down on the chair in front of the Governor''s desk with Lance sitting beside him.


    The Governor, on the other hand, was seated behind the desk, not even bothering to look up at them as she busily read and signed documents piled high on her desk. ¡°What do you want? I am busy.¡±


    ¡°Someone tried to kill your nephew,¡± Warner said without preamble.


    The Governor''s pen instantly stopped moving as she finally raised her head. Her wavy hair was a stunningly bright scarlet tied in a messy bun, and her beautiful and delicate face was set in a deep frown. Her red eyes burned hot with anger. ¡°Tell me the details.¡±


    Warner shrugged. ¡°There are no details yet. Guard Captain Banner just sent a runner to the city hall with the message that there was an assassination attempt on your nephew.¡±


    Camille Grayshield, Governor of Shieldhold, put down her pen and folded her hands on the table. ¡°That is honestly hard to believe, Warner.¡±


    ¡°And yet you know it''s true,¡± Warner said. The Governor was known for her ability to detect lies in other people. ¡°But it seems suspicious, don''t you think? Why didn''t Banner tell you that himself?¡±


    Camille narrowed her eyes. ¡°Please refrain from accusing other government officials of corruption without evidence.¡±


    Warner raised his palms. ¡°I''m not saying anything. Just asking.¡±


    Camille sighed, but before she could speak further, there was a knock on the door again. A guard peeked in. ¡°The Guildmaster is requesting to meet you, Governor. He said it is an urgent matter.¡±


    ¡°Let him in.¡±


    Warner sat up in his seat as he looked forward to the meeting. ¡°Listen well, boy. You''re about to witness why you shouldn''t trust people blindly.¡±


    An old man walked into the office, bowing deeply to the Governor. ¡°Morgan Thorn greets the Governor.¡±


    Camille nodded. ¡°Tell me of your urgent report, Guildmaster Thorn.¡±


    ¡°I would like to inform you of an incident earlier this evening involving your nephew, Camaro Grayshield,¡± Morgan began. ¡°Camaro got into an altercation with one of our new probationary members, and he escalated it by striking our own with the intent to kill. Since he did it right in front of the Guild Hall, there were plenty of witnesses.¡±


    Everyone in the room was surprised, but Lance was even more so. ¡°But didn''t the Guard Captain¡ª¡±


    ¡°Quiet,¡± Camille said, shutting up the young boy. ¡°Please continue, Guildmaster.¡±


    Morgan looked at Lance with a curious gaze before continuing. ¡°However, Camaro seems to have underestimated his victim. His initial attack failed to kill the victim, and in retaliation, our probationary member retaliated and came close to killing Camaro. If not for my intervention, your nephew would already be dead.¡±


    ¡°Who is this new probationary member?¡± Camille asked.


    ¡°A man by the name of Bob Dinkle.¡±


    ¡°Bob?!¡± Lance exclaimed. When the Governor and the Guildmaster focused their gazes on him, he ducked his head sheepishly.


    ¡°Way to go to make yourself a target, kid,¡± Warner said beside him.


    ¡°You know of him?¡± Morgan asked, his gaze like a hawk.


    ¡°Well, uh¡­¡±If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    Warner came to Lance''s rescue. ¡°He''s an unknown person who arrived in the city just this morning. He came to the North Gate covered in mud and wearing only a skirt made of leaves. He claimed he came from the Frost Mountains. He left the city again at midday and came back in the evening while dragging an entire Eluvian bear to sell. He seems to be hurting for money.¡±


    The room was silent as the Governor and the Guildmaster processed the information.


    ¡°Why didn''t you detain him?¡± Camille asked sharply. ¡°He was obviously suspicious.¡±


    Warner gave Lance a knowing grin. The young man shrank in his seat. ¡°Well, your boy here didn''t find the man''s profile in any of our criminal records. Also, my Bounty Hunter Skill didn''t trigger.¡±


    ¡°Did you at least try to ask him for his background information?¡± Camille asked as she rubbed her temples.


    The two city gate guards were quiet.


    Camille shook her head as she turned back to Morgan. ¡°Tell me the details about the altercation.¡±


    ¡°According to witnesses, Camaro tried to buy the bear that Bob brought, presumably to use it as his way to bypass the Guild''s requirement to hunt a monster for membership, but Bob had already sold the carcass to the Guild. Partway through, Bob had shown little deference to Camaro and called him insulting names, prompting Camaro into anger.¡±


    ¡°What kind of insulting names?¡± Camille asked.


    ¡°He called Camaro an asshole and a pussy.¡±


    Warner chuckled, but he quickly stopped after the Governor glared at him.


    ¡°To continue, Camaro made the first move by attempting to cut down Bob where he stood. However, he failed to penetrate Bob''s defenses,¡± Morgan said. ¡°In retaliation, Bob held Camaro by the wrist and neck, strangling the young noble. Camaro''s bodyguards then made their move, slicing off Bob''s hand that was strangling the young noble and stabbing him in his heart and chest.¡±


    ¡°What?! Bob''s dead?!¡± Lance exclaimed. Camille seemed interested too.


    ¡°Not at all. Bob displayed no signs of weakness even after suffering lethal damage. Instead, he tried to bite Camaro''s throat out, but I managed to arrive at the scene on time and knocked them away. After that, we managed to de-escalate the situation. Bob seemed to display an abnormal rate of healing, and by the time he left, his wounds were healed and his chopped hand was starting to regrow.¡±


    Once again, the room briefly went silent.


    ¡°No wonder he managed to come back alive,¡± Warner chuckled a moment later. ¡°When Bob left the city at midday, he didn''t have any weapons or armor on him, yet he still managed to hunt down an Eluvian bear.¡±


    ¡°Alright, I want that man in front of my desk tomorrow. I don''t want unknown quantities wreaking havoc in my city. Tell the city guards that if they see him, bring him to me,¡± Camille said to the two gate guards. She then turned to Morgan. ¡°As for Camaro''s punishment, rest assured that he will be detained until he is tried in the city tribunal. If you do not wish to press charges, then the City Government will gladly do so.¡±


    This time, the silence went on for longer as everyone in the room was shocked. Even Warner was lost for words.


    ¡°You¡­ would imprison your own nephew?¡± Morgan asked hesitantly.


    ¡°I would imprison a murderer,¡± Camille said resolutely. ¡°Camaro has gone too far. I had been too lenient with his petty crimes so far. Not anymore. He is now a threat to the city''s citizenry, and I will not tolerate anything that seeks to harm my people. Besides, there are too many witnesses. Even if I tried to protect him, the people would be unhappy.¡±


    ¡°The correct choice, lass,¡± Warner said as he looked Camille in the eyes. ¡°But what will you do with Camaro''s family? Your uncle is powerful. If you push through with this, even you cannot escape his wrath unscathed.¡±


    For the first time, Camille smiled. ¡°I know. But I found someone who can serve as my perfect meat shield. You said this Bob was hurting for money, yes?¡±


    ?????


    I cradled the stump of my missing hand as I walked through the city''s streets. Night had fallen for good, yet the city seemed to become even livelier at night. Restaurants and bars were packed with patrons, and I even saw several brothels with their workers enticing men from the streets.


    They stayed away from me, though. Understandable, given that once again, I was completely covered in blood. My own, no less. I bet I looked like I just came from a war front.


    That''s why despite all the tempting aromas and sights all around me, I focused on finding a decent inn where I could take a good and relaxing shower.


    After asking around, I made my to the Silver Foal, a high-end hotel located near the Guild Plaza. It was a large five-story structure with a beautiful facade complete with valets assisting guests in any manner they could.


    I guess I ruined the image when I stomped through their front entrance, dripping blood on their mahogany floor.


    Upon my entry, the valets tried to stop me, but since they refused to touch me due to the disgusting mixture of blood and mud covering me, I just blazed on through.


    ¡°Welcome to the Silver Foal Hotel! How can¡­ I¡­¡± The receptionist petered out as I stomped to the counter. The terrified lass looked like she was about to bolt out the door at any second. I swear, what is up with receptionists and their assorted reactions to my presence?


    ¡°I''d like to rent a room,¡± I said as I took out my coin pouch. ¡°How much for the cheapest room with a shower?¡±


    ¡°A-All our rooms have showers, sir. The cheapest we have is a single bedroom with¡ª¡±


    ¡°I''ll take that, then. How much?¡±


    ¡°That''ll be one gold coin per night of stay, sir,¡± the receptionist said nervously. Her name tag said her name was Ada.


    ¡°Talk about daylight robbery,¡± I grumbled as I took out a single gold coin from my pouch. ¡°It better come with meals or I''ll go on a rampage.¡±


    ¡°I-It does!¡± Ada squeaked. ¡°We''ll send it to your room right away!¡±


    ¡°Relax, lady. I was kidding,¡± I said. ¡°Now, the keys?¡±


    ¡°H-Here you go sir. Enjoy y-your stay!¡±


    Leaving behind the trembling receptionist, I climbed up to my room located on the fifth floor. For a single bedroom, it was relatively spacious and complete with amenities.


    As soon as I saw the bathroom, I quickly got in and had the best shower in my life. Gunk and dried blood peeled off my skin and went down the drain as I turned the hot shower to its maximum temperature. Based on how the knobs glowed slightly, the temperature control worked with the help of magic.


    I spent the next entire hour scrubbing every inch of my skin clean until my skin was scraped raw. The food arrived at the twenty-minute mark, but I just shouted at them to leave the food in my room.


    When I eventually came out of the bathroom, I was the freshest and cleanest I''d ever been since coming to this world. I''d trimmed my black hair and beard properly, and my teeth were squeaky clean after brushing it thoroughly. Finally, the piece of raw wolf meat stuck in my teeth since that first day was gone.


    For the first time, I felt like a normal person, both in my previous life and in this one. I had a decent room to sleep in, some excess money I could spend on things aside from the bare necessities, and best of all, no loan sharks banging on my door extorting me for money.


    As if to make fun of me, somebody knocked on my door.


    ¡°For fuck''s sake.¡±


    I opened the door with a frown on my face. The valet on the other side shrank as he reached out a pile of folded clothes to me. ¡°I-In case you n-needed some fresh clothes, s-sir.¡±


    ¡°Oh, thanks, man. Here, have a tip,¡± I said as I grabbed several silver coins from my pouch and dumped them into the wide-eyed valet''s hands after taking my clothes.


    ¡°T-Thank you very much, sir!¡±


    ¡°Now get outta my face.¡±


    I closed the door and started putting on the clothes he gave me. I was impressed, the quality was nice. It consisted of a green set of pajamas made of soft cotton that felt like clouds on my skin. It perfectly fitted my large frame too.


    Not only that, but they also gave me a pair of cute cotton slippers that felt like I was walking on rainbows and sunshine. Very neat.


    All dressed up, I moved on to the last and most important event of the night: my dinner. And what a spread it was. The valet had rolled in an entire full-course meal, and with how hungry I was, I was confident I could wolf down the entire thing in one sitting.


    And so I did.

 Chapter 14

    The next day saw me walking the streets of a nearby business district early the next morning in my pajamas. After eating a hearty breakfast at the hotel, I left early to buy myself a proper set of work clothes. Given that I was going to wade into the sewers, I needed something sturdy and water-resistant. Also, I needed to buy myself a weapon. I loved my fists, but I''d been relying on them for too long.


    The first weapon shop I entered catered to slayers, and boy did it make me feel like a pauper despite the recent windfall I had with the Eluvian bear. The cheapest weapon they had was a dagger smaller than my palm that cost a whopping twenty gold coins. The salesman bragged that it could spit flames when it stabbed a monster, but what monster would get hurt by that toothpick-sized dagger?


    I went to other slayer-catering shops, which featured the same high prices. Being a slayer must really pay well if they could afford all that ridiculously overpriced bullshit.


    Eventually, I decided to just go to the Laborer''s Guild and ask if they had some spare equipment I could borrow, and it turns out, they had a rental service.


    ¡°Here you are, Mister Bob,¡± Jessa said loudly as she returned to the counter carrying specialized equipment for sewer spelunking. The guild was packed with people, and she had to raise her voice just to be heard. ¡°The rubber jumpsuit and boots actually come with the job and are free. The tools, however, require a deposit every time you borrow them. All of the tools cost a deposit of five silver.¡±


    ¡°Thanks,¡± I said as I took the jumpsuit and tools. As I counted some coins for the deposit, I made some small talk to gather some information. ¡°I didn''t know the Laborer''s Guild was quite crowded during mornings.¡±


    ¡°The mornings and evenings are where the crowd is always at,¡± Jessa answered with a smile. ¡°Laborers apply for jobs in the morning, then at night, they come to collect their pay.¡±


    ¡°You must be pretty busy at this time. I shouldn''t keep you for too long, then.¡±


    ¡°You can keep me for as long as you want, Mister Bob,¡± Jessa said with a grin.


    Uh, did she just flirt with me?


    ¡°Right, see you later, then.¡±


    ¡°Take care, Mister Bob!¡±


    Now that was very weird. When did anybody ever try to flirt with me? Never, that''s what. So either that lady wants to get something from me, or she was just really into big, bearded men covered in dirt and¡ª


    Wait a minute, I wasn''t covered in dirt anymore. I was actually neat and clean because I''d taken a good long shower before leaving the hotel. Even my hair and beard were groomed.


    Well, what do you know? I guess I turned out to be a hit with the ladies. Ma would be proud.


    With my confidence high up in the clouds, I climbed to the second floor of the Laborer''s Guild and entered the room where I was supposed to meet with the representative of the Department of Water and Sanitary Works.


    When I entered the room, there were two people seated at a table. One was a grumpy-looking man in his late fifties with weathered skin darkened from exposure to the sun. The other was¡­


    ¡°Morgman? What are you doing here?¡± I asked. It was the Guildmaster of the Slayer''s Guild.


    ¡°Morgan,¡± Morgman corrected. ¡°And I wish to speak with you after your meeting with the Sanitary Department.¡±


    I looked to the other man, who grumbled something under his breath as he glared at Morgman. He stood up and offered his hand for me to shake. ¡°Mern. I''m the representative from Sanitary. Now, before we discuss your job, I want everything laid out on the table first, Mister Dinkle. Do you intend to run off with the Slayer''s Guild at some point in the future?¡±


    ¡°Call me Bob. And no. As lucrative as being a slayer is, I don''t like putting myself in unnecessary danger when I could just work a regular day job to feed myself,¡± I answered truthfully. Mern grinned at me while Morgman sighed.


    ¡°You heard it from the man himself, didn''t you? You''re not taking him away from us!¡± Mern said to Morgman.


    ¡°Indeed, Mister Bob has made his point clear,¡± Morgman said. ¡°However, I would still like to talk to him after your meeting.¡±


    Mern gritted his teeth as he sat down. ¡°Fine.¡± He then turned his glare to me. ¡°Now, I''ll brief you for your job. The sewer cleanup is as simple as it gets. You see a clog in the sewer drains, you clean it up. Most of the time, this means you''re gonna wade through a deep layer of muck and filth, but we have a resident cleaner mage assigned to clean you during such circumstances. Moreover, the job entails a risk of getting infected with diseases, and while the Sanitary Department guarantees to provide any medication should you need it, we will not be held liable for any damages. If you agree with all that, then all you need to do is sign right here and you can start with your job.¡±


    Mern slid over a document my way, which I assumed was the contract.


    ¡°Well, you wanted to talk to me later, right?¡± I asked Morgman. ¡°I''ll agree if you read out loud any important details my friend Mern there may have omitted.¡±Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.


    Morgman smiled lightly as Mern''s face shook and turned red. ¡°You have the gall to doubt me, you illiterate fool?!¡±


    I gave Mern a blank stare. ¡°The fuck kind of question is that? Of course I don''t trust you. My Ma taught me never to trust government officials, and so far, I have never been done wrong by that advice.¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah?! Well, your mother¡ª¡±


    ¡°Say it,¡± I said as I stood up and loomed over the man suddenly shrinking in his seat. ¡°I dare you say it, asshole. What was that about my mother?¡±


    ¡°N-Nothing! I never said anything!¡± Mern shouted as he moved his chair away from me.


    ¡°Now now, let us all keep this discussion civil,¡± Morgman said as he picked up the contract. ¡°Listen closely, Mister Bob, I''ll only read this once.¡±


    Morgan began to read the contract out loud, and I felt my temper rising with every sentence I heard. It turned out Mern had ¡®glossed over¡¯ more than one important point.


    Mern said earlier that they were not liable for any damages in case I got sick, but the stipulations in the contract didn''t end there. The contract also stated that Mern''s Department was not liable for any damages caused by monsters and magic, which meant the sewers likely contained such hazards.


    Moreover, the cleaner mage they ¡®assigned¡¯ to me was not free. For every cleaning they cast on me, I would pay a ridiculous ¡®discounted¡¯ fee of twenty coppers, to be deducted from my daily wages. The contract also stipulated a duration of five years, and if I breached the contract, I would pay a fee equal to the wages I would have earned in the remaining time left in my contract.


    Several other loopholes in the contract aimed to take advantage of me, and when Morgman finally finished reading, I took the contract from his hands and ripped it up in front of the cowering Mern.


    ¡°Be glad Morgman is here, you fucking asshole, or I would''ve shoved this paper down your throat,¡± I growled. ¡°Now get your stupid ass out of here.¡±


    Mern quickly complied.


    Once Morgman and I were alone in the room, I sighed as I collapsed on the chair listlessly. As if the fates weren''t done making fun of me, the wooden chair also collapsed under my weight, making me land hard on my ass.


    ¡°Fucking furniture,¡± I muttered as I gingerly sat myself on another chair. ¡°So, what did you wanna talk about, Mister Morgman?¡±


    ¡°Morgan,¡± Morgman corrected. ¡°I have come here to inform you of a rather important development regarding the incident you were involved in yesterday.¡±


    ¡°Dammit, the Governor wants my ass, doesn''t she?¡±


    ¡°Not in the sense you are probably thinking of,¡± Morgan said as he gave me a weird look. ¡°Governor Camille has sent out a notice to all guards to bring you to the City Hall when they find you. Now before you ask, no, the Governor does not wish to punish you or anything. In fact, the Young Master Camaro has drawn all of the Governor''s ire.¡±


    ¡°What does the big boss want with me, then?¡±


    ¡°Governor Camille wants to hire your services,¡± Morgman said. ¡°As to what the nature of those services will be, I do not presume, but she came to that decision after hearing of your impressive regeneration abilities.¡±


    ¡°Fuck, don''t tell me she''s into BDSM?¡±


    Morgman gave a confused expression. ¡°I''m afraid I am unfamiliar with that term.¡±


    ¡°Nevermind. So, having said all that, is this the part where you give me some kind of offer that would help me out of my predicament?¡±


    Morgan chuckled. ¡°Your cynical outlook in life is quite commendable. However, you are wrong. It would be stupid of me to go against the Governor''s wishes in her own city. I merely came here to inform you out of a sense of duty. You did get caught up in all this under my territory, so I thought this is the least I could do to make amends.¡±


    ¡°Well, at least there still seem to be decent people in the world.¡±


    ¡°However,¡± Morgman continued. ¡°If you do ever find yourself struggling to find a job, the Slayer''s Guild is always open¡­¡±


    ¡°Dammit, man, what did I even expect?!¡±


    The old codger chuckled.


    ?????


    ¡°He what?¡±


    Jessa looked furious as I told her about how my meeting with Mern went. It turned out the contract was not supposed to be like that. According to Jessa, contracts with the Laborer''s Guild were always vetted to ensure it did not take advantage of the laborers in any way. The contract that the Sanitary Department submitted to the Laborer''s Guild should have been leagues better than what Morgan read to me.


    But not only did this Mern bastard try to fool me into signing, he tried to fool the Guild itself. And as I was now learning firsthand, the Laborer''s Guild did not tolerate swindlers.


    Minutes after I reported the events to Jessa, she quickly raised the matter up the ladder. It only took a few minutes before a squad of gruff men, the tough kind you see working the most dangerous manual labor out there, stomp out of the doors and trundle down the street.


    Yeah, I did not want to be Mern right now.


    ¡°We sincerely apologize for what happened, Mister Bob,¡± Jessa said as the Guild enforcers disappeared from view. ¡°I''ve spoken with the Guildmaster, and to make it up to you, he decided to give you a special high-paying job normally reserved for our special members.¡±


    Oh? This sounds interesting.


    Jessa leaned in to whisper, her warm breath tickling my ear. ¡°The client is the Governor herself.¡±


    I felt my stomach drop as I immediately realized the implications of what she just said. Thanks to Morgman''s heads-up earlier, I already knew the Governor was gunning for my juicy ass. And this job that would conveniently place me under the Governor''s employ just happened to come by as a ¡®reward¡¯? Right as my supposed employer gave me a shitty contract that forced me to refuse?


    It reeked of a trap.


    ¡°I think I''m gonna pass for the meantime,¡± I said as I began leaning away from the counter.


    ¡°What? Are you crazy?!¡± Jessa exclaimed, attracting the attention of other people in the Hall.


    ¡°Pipe down, woman,¡± I hissed.


    ¡°Why are you refusing?¡± Jessa asked incredulously. ¡°This is an opportunity of a lifetime! Do you know how much people would pay to work under the Governor? They''d sell their children if they could!¡±


    ¡°You''re not painting a good image of the Governor for me, you know. And where the hell did all your professionalism go?¡±


    Jessa ignored my question and focused her eyes on mine. ¡°I thought you needed the money? Why are you refusing now?¡±


    ¡°I have my reasons. Now if you''ll excuse me, I have some errands to run.¡±


    Fortunately, Jessa didn''t try to stop me. I still had no idea if she was in on the Governor''s plot or not.


    Despite Morgman''s assurances that the Governor wasn''t going to chop my head off for trying to kill her nephew, there was no way to verify that information. So, as long as there was uncertainty, I planned to lay low.


    Unfortunately, my big frame made lying low an impossible prospect.


    Minutes after I left the Laborer''s Guild, I had the utter misfortune of running into a guard patrol. I hadn''t noticed them until it was too late. By then, I suddenly found myself surrounded.


    ¡°Good morning, Mister Dinkle,¡± the lead guard said. ¡°The Governor requests your presence at the City Hall.¡±


    Well fuck. It looks like I''m about to find out whether Morgman''s assurances were true.


    ¡°Fine. Just¡­ call me Bob.¡±

 Chapter 15

    The guard patrol began escorting me to the City Hall like I was some kind of criminal. Two guards by my side, two at the front, and two at the back. I almost felt flattered that they''d go to such lengths to ¡®guide¡¯ me to the Governor.


    Bystanders would point and look at me as our group passed by, and I was almost tempted to give them the finger. Too bad I had to force myself on my best behavior. If I was gonna meet the Governor, I had to cut the bullshit back a notch.


    However, when we were just one street away from the City Hall, we were intercepted by another group of guards. The new group was led by an older guard who seemed to have a higher rank than the rest of them judging by the extra designs on his armor.


    ¡°Captain!¡± the guard leading my escort shouted as he gave a snappy salute, which in this world turned out to be a fist to the chest. ¡°We have found the person that Governor Camille has been looking for and are now escorting him to the City Hall.¡±


    ¡°At ease,¡± the Captain said as he looked me over. ¡°New orders arrived. The Governor wants him brought to the Barracks.¡±


    My escort leader turned uncertain. ¡°The Barracks, sir? But our orders were to¡ª¡±


    ¡°Are you questioning my orders?!¡± the Captain shouted, silencing the escort leader. ¡°If you''ve got problems with my orders, then do us all a favor and take off your badge! You''re dismissed.¡±


    The escort leader looked pale as he gave a not-so-snappy-anymore salute before ordering his men to leave.


    And just like that, I was left alone with the Guard Captain and his posse. For some reason, the entire street was completely empty of civilians.


    Somehow, I knew the fates had finally decided to put me back into the frying pan.


    ¡°You, get over here,¡± the Captain ordered at me. ¡°We are to escort you to the Barracks. If you try to escape, we will have no choice but to arrest you.¡±


    Several guards surrounded me once more, but this time, there must have been ten of them, and they were all gripping their spears a little too tightly.


    I sighed. ¡°Dammit, why can''t I just fucking live in peace?!¡±


    The Captain glared as he began walking towards me. ¡°Shut up! Are you trying to go against the Governor''s orders?! Then you''re guilty of treason! Guards! Arrest this¡ª¡±


    The Captain didn''t get to finish because I gripped his head with both of my hands, hardened them with my Class Skill, and squeezed as hard as I could.


    The Captain screamed shrilly like some butchered animal, but to be honest, I was focused on something else. When I used my Class Skill, I felt a tingling sensation in my hands, like I was being slightly electrocuted. Was this the ¡®mana¡¯ that was responsible for this magic? The Skill description did say it had a ¡®low mana cost.¡¯


    I was brought out of my musing when all resistance in my hands suddenly disappeared. With a wet pop like cracking open a watermelon, the Captain''s head burst in my palms.


    [You have slain a Lv. 29 Guard Captain. Experience gained.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 11.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 12.]


    My eyes widened at the two levels I gained for killing just one person. Was killing people actually this lucrative? And how did the Captain have such a high level but be weak as shit?


    I turned my eyes to the other guards, who were now looking at me in fear. I smiled at them. ¡°What are you cocksuckers waiting for? I''m right here.¡±


    Right as I was anticipating a battle that would rocket my levels upwards, all the guards around me were suddenly pushed to the ground by a powerful force. It looked like they were being crushed by an invisible hand.


    ¡°Mister Bob,¡± a familiar voice called out. For the second time today, I was face to face with Morgman as he walked out of a narrow alley, still dressed in his pristine suit.


    ¡°You again? Why the hell are you following me everywhere like a damn stalker, Morgman?¡±


    ¡°It''s Morgan, Mister Bob,¡± Morgman corrected with a frown. ¡°And it''s arrogant for you to assume that you were the one I was following. No, it was the Guard Captain I was keeping track of.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡± I looked at the bits of the Guard Captain''s oily brain still stuck in my hands. ¡°Did you, uh, need him for something? I think he''s out for the moment.¡±


    ¡°Not anymore, I suppose,¡± Morgman said. ¡°I tailed him under a suspicion that he was working against the Governor. Seeing as how he tried to take you somewhere else and lied about the Governor''s orders, I''m inclined to believe that the suspicions were true.¡±


    ¡°Wait, so that means the Governor didn''t actually order Captain Doofus here to kill me?¡±


    ¡°Didn''t I already tell you the Governor does not desire your death?¡± Morgman said.


    ¡°I''d be the biggest idiot alive if I trusted everyone''s words at face value,¡± I said as I tried to wipe my hands clean on the ground. It was not working. ¡°So, do you have any idea why the Guard Captain wanted to arrest me?¡±


    ¡°The Governor likely knows something about it, thus we must go ahead and see her right away. This incident has the potential to spiral further out of control.¡±


    ¡°She''s not gonna send me to jail for killing Captain Doofus here, will she?¡±


    ¡°Certainly not,¡± Morgman said. ¡°And I hope I''ve earned enough of your trust to at least believe me this time.¡±


    ¡°¡­Fine. Lead the way, old man.¡±


    Morgman shook his head at me as he snapped his fingers. A group of slayers emerged from the alley he came from, one of which was the big man who blocked me from approaching the red-haired asshole yesterday. ¡°Derric, keep an eye on these guards and make sure civilians stay clear of the area. I''ll inform the Governor of what happened here.¡±The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    ¡°Copy that, boss.¡±


    With Morgman in the lead, we continued on to the City Hall.


    ?????


    The inside of the City Hall was much grander than I thought it''d be. Instead of the bland, brutalist design of the Laborer''s Guild, the inside of the City Hall was all arches and bas reliefs, making the entire place look like a majestic cultural heritage site. The sheer amount of time, effort, and money that went into building this was crazy.


    But the architectural design wasn''t the only thing to gawk at. The people inside the City Hall were more noteworthy because of their diversity. Unlike in the streets where the predominant people around were humans, the City Hall was filled with all sorts of races. There were humanoid bulls, tall pointy-eared humans, fairies, lizard-like people, humans that were shorter than my waist, people made of rocks, and a lot more.


    ¡°How are there so many different species in here?¡± I asked Morgman as we climbed the stairs to the top floor.


    The old man looked at me curiously. ¡°Have you never been to a City Hall before?¡±


    ¡°Nah, I''m not from around here.¡±


    ¡°Ah, you come from outside the Empire of Arcadia, then?¡± Morgman asked, to which I nodded. ¡°I assumed you were an Arcadian as well. To answer your question, it has been a longstanding tradition of the Empire to incorporate all the various species into its government structure. This is after the nation was embroiled in intense civil conflict in the past due to racial inequalities. Hence, it was decreed that every species must hold various positions in office to ensure equality for all.¡±


    ¡°How about the goblins? Are they part of this Empire?¡±


    ¡°Although goblins are sentient, they are known to be a very war-like people,¡± Morgman explained. ¡°Multiple treaties had already been established with various goblin tribes over the centuries, but every single time, they violate the treaties and attack human settlements. I suppose it is inevitable. Their species is known for its high birth rate, which requires a vast amount of resources they don''t have. Thus, they plunder.¡±


    What an asshole species.


    ¡°May I ask from where you hail from, Mister Bob?¡±


    ¡°Me? I come from Earth. Pretty far away from here.¡±


    ¡°Earth? Like, dirt? I have never heard of such a country before,¡± Morgman muttered. ¡°Then again, there is much of the world that remains unexplored. You must''ve come a long way, then.¡±


    ¡°Oh, very far away indeed.¡± Millions of light years away, even. Heck, I might be in an entirely different universe.


    Eventually, we arrived at the door to the Governor''s office. Two guards covered fully in metal armor stood vigil, their height almost the same as mine. As we approached, I could feel the weak electrocuting sensation of mana emanating from their armor and the big-ass halberd they held.


    ¡°Halt,¡± one of them called out. ¡°State your business.¡±


    ¡°I am Morgan Thorn, Slayer Guildmaster. With me is Mister Bob Dinkle, the man that the Governor has been looking for.¡±


    The guard looked at a piece of clear crystal in his hand. It didn''t do anything, but the guard nodded in satisfaction. ¡°You tell the truth. I shall announce your presence first.¡±


    As the guard peeked his head inside the office, I broke out into a sweat. If I knew they had lie-detecting rocks in this place, I wouldn''t have come! God knows what they''ll do to me if they learn about my otherworldly background. Heck, what were they gonna think if they found out I was affiliated with some weirdo who calls himself the God of Carnage?


    ¡°You may enter,¡± the guard said.


    I had no time left to plan as Morgman and I entered the Governor''s office. The room was large, but it was horribly empty of furniture and decoration. What little decoration there was consisted of the soft fur carpet and a huge chandelier hanging from the ceiling.


    On the other side of the room was a massive wooden desk, behind which sat a woman in her late twenties. She had curly scarlet hair that fell past her shoulders, and her face was stunningly gorgeous. But her attire contrasted greatly with the ambiance of the room. Instead of the formal attire I''d expect from a Governor, the woman was wearing metal armor as if she was about to go to war. Even her resolute gaze matched her attire.


    Well, it''s not like I was in a position to criticize her clothing, anyway. I was literally wearing the green pajamas and cotton slippers I got from the hotel because I hadn''t been able to buy clothes yet. Add the fact that I was wearing my satchel stained with dry blood over my shoulder, I was a fucking eyesore to those with a normal fashion sense.


    ¡°Morgan Thorn greets the Governor,¡± Morgman said as he bowed slightly at the woman.


    ¡°I''m Bob,¡± I said.


    Morgman looked at me with a weird expression while the woman stared at me with an inscrutable gaze.


    ¡°Thank you for bringing him to me, Guildmaster Thorn,¡± the woman said before turning to me. ¡°And it is my pleasure to meet you, Mister Dinkle. I am Camille Grayshield, Governor of this city.¡±


    ¡°Nice to meet you. Call me Bob.¡±


    ¡°Alright then, Bob. Now, before we discuss the important matters, do you have anything to report, Mister Thorn? I expected the city guard to bring Bob to me, not the Slayer Guildmasrer himself.¡±


    ¡°I''m afraid I bring only bad news, Governor.¡± Morgman proceeded to tell everything that''s happened with the Guard Captain, and by the end, Camille was scowling.


    ¡°That backstabbing cur,¡± Camille spat. ¡°So Marko really was working for Carmen. I was already suspecting it for years, but he hid his tracks well.¡±


    Camille sighed as she leaned back in her seat. ¡°It seems Carmen has become brazen enough to try and challenge my authority in broad daylight.¡± She then turned her gaze back to me. ¡°Bob. I heard of your ability to heal quickly and survive fatal wounds. You even hunted an Eluvian bear by yourself without armor and weapons. Is this true?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, though ¡®hunting¡¯ it might be inaccurate. Outlasted it, more like.¡±


    ¡°Splendid. Are you a bad man, Bob?¡±


    What? That came out of the blue. This bitch might be crazy. Might as well play along, I suppose. ¡°Depends on what you define as bad.¡±


    ¡°Do you have any intention or desire to hurt innocent people?¡±


    ¡°No. Unless they hit me first, I guess.¡±


    ¡°Why did you come to my city?¡±


    ¡°I was lost in the wilds, and this was the nearest settlement I could find.¡±


    ¡°What is your goal?¡±


    ¡°To live.¡±


    ¡°Are you good at fighting?¡±


    ¡°I''m alright, I guess. Had my fair share of scuffles, I usually came out less bruised and with one more tongue than my opponent.¡±


    There was a brief silence as Camille simply stared at me with a bit of confusion. Morgman never told me the Governor was a bit of a weirdo. Why was she even asking these questions?


    Hold on, was this a damn job interview?


    ¡°That will do,¡± Camille said with a nod. ¡°Bob, how would you like to work as one of my retainers?¡±


    ¡°I would not like it at all,¡± I said bluntly, and Camille laughed. It was actually pleasant to hear.


    ¡°Thank you for your honesty, but I would like to hear why.¡±


    ¡°I don''t want to get further involved in your messy politics,¡± I answered truthfully. ¡°I just want a peaceful life where people leave me the fuck alone. I''ve already had enough of people trying to screw me over, and if I join your side, that means your enemies will now see me as their enemy as well, and now I''ve got a whole new bunch of assholes aiming for me.¡±


    Camille nodded. ¡°I understand your misgivings, Bob, but you seem to be operating under a misunderstanding. My enemies already see you as their enemy even if you don''t join my side. The red-haired man that tried to kill you was my nephew, Camaro Grayshield, the son of Carmen Grayshield, my uncle and the richest man in the city. After what you did, he will almost certainly try to dispose of you. You don''t stand a chance against that man alone.¡±


    I shrugged. ¡°I could just leave the city and go to the next one.¡±


    Camille nodded. ¡°You could, but what makes you think he wouldn''t be able to reach you? He could just hire assassins to come after you. Even if you can defend yourself, you''ll spend the rest of your life watching the shadows. If you join me, I can offer you my support.¡±


    ¡°Goddammit!¡± I cursed. Why the fuck can''t I just have a normal life for once? I thought this second life would finally be my chance, but it was starting to get as shitty as my previous life. Instead of loansharks, it was replaced by some powerful family gunning for me because their asshole of a son tried to kill me. This was getting fucking ridiculous.


    I forced myself to calm down. Like a mantra, I repeated the same shit I always told myself when life was getting too shitty. It is what it is.


    Joining Camille''s faction was now no longer a choice but a necessity. Of course, I could just leave the city and live by myself out in the wilds again, but what kind of life would that be? No life at all. I didn''t want to live the rest of my life ripping tongues out of wolves and bears.


    I sighed. ¡°How much are you paying?¡±

 Chapter 16

    Camille gave me a warm smile as she retrieved a document from a drawer and gestured at the chair in front of her desk. ¡°Please sit, both of you.¡±


    Camille waited for us to sit before continuing. ¡°The official position I am offering you is Constable. On paper, your responsibility is to uphold the law and punish lawbreakers.¡±


    ¡°So like a guard, but with a nicer title?¡± I asked.


    ¡°Not at all.¡± Camille gave me a small smile. ¡°Unlike a guard, a Constable has both executive and judiciary power. This means that if you find someone guilty of a crime worthy of a death sentence, you don''t have to bring them to jail and await a trial. You have full authority to kill them right there and then.¡±


    I looked at her suspiciously. ¡°There''s no way you''re giving a random stranger that much power willy-nilly. What''s the catch?¡±


    ¡°Of course, there will be measures in place to ensure you do not abuse your power, and in exchange for this power, I will give you important tasks you must accomplish,¡± Camille said. ¡°Every day, you will report to my office so I can check if you abused your authority. I have a Skill that lets me distinguish lie from truth, so the process will be quick.¡±


    No wonder this woman was so quick to put me in a position of power, and it also explained her random questions earlier. She was trying to gauge my personality.


    I wonder what her conclusion was. Found out I was a good guy, I bet.


    ¡°Being a Constable sounds badass and all that, but can''t you give me a safer job with fewer responsibilities? I noticed the City Hall has plenty of windows. Maybe you need a professional window cleaner¡ª¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Camille refused resolutely as Morgman chuckled softly. ¡°I will not have you waste your abilities just so you can clean windows all day. If you don''t want to be a Constable, you can leave.¡±


    ¡°Alright, alright, don''t get your panties in a bunch, woman,¡± I said, which turned out to be the wrong thing to say because Camille was now glaring at me. ¡°Fine, I''ll be your Constable.¡±


    ¡°Good,¡± Camille said curtly as she slid the document over to me. ¡°Can you read?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°We''ll have to fix that,¡± she muttered as she slid the document to Morgman instead. ¡°May I trouble you to read the employment contract, Mister Thorn? Our friend here obviously has some trust issues.¡±


    ¡°Certainly, Governor.¡±


    Morgman read the contract, which had very few stipulations, the most important of which was the one-year duration that could be renewed if I desired. In summary, I would work as the Constable and obtain all the benefits and responsibilities it entailed in exchange for the Governor''s assistance against the family of the idiot I beat up. Camille pretty much explained the rest of it already, with the only thing left unmentioned being the salary. I was going to be paid one gold coin daily.


    ¡°Damn, if you told me about the salary right away, I wouldn''t have bitched and moaned too much about it,¡± I said.


    [Congratulations! You have obtained your first job. Experience gained.]


    ¡°Woah, I just gained experience for getting my first job,¡± I commented. I didn''t even know I could gain experience aside from killing shit. When I looked up, Morgman and Camille were staring at me. ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°I never would have thought that you were a lazy jobless bum all your life,¡± Camille said with a shake of her head. ¡°You better not slack off on your job or else I''m docking your pay.¡±


    ¡°Hey, I''m not lazy! I just, uh¡­¡±


    ¡°I suppose it is time I take my leave, Governor,¡± Morgman said as he stood up.


    ¡°Thank you for bringing this lazy bum to my office, Mister Thorn. I promise to repay this favor,¡± Camille said as she stood up and shook hands with the old man.


    ¡°Don''t be too harsh on him,¡± Morgman said. ¡°He crushed the head of the last person who did.¡±


    The old codger and the redhead laughed as if I wasn''t in the room. ¡°Unprofessional bastards,¡± I muttered. They were literally talking shit about me right in my face.


    ¡°I''ll see you tomorrow too, then,¡± I said to Camille as I stood up. I wonder what the hotel had for lunch? I was starving.


    ¡°Who said you could go?¡± Camille said as I felt her gaze on me.


    ¡°What? What else do you want with me?¡±


    ¡°Your job starts today, Constable Bob. And I already have a mission for you.¡±


    Morgman chuckled as he went for the door. ¡°Good luck, Mister Bob. I think you''ll need it.¡±


    Goddammit.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    ?????


    ¡°A new group of smugglers who call themselves the Black Traders has infiltrated Shieldhold, establishing a nexus of illegal trade with the black market. Your mission is to find their base of operations, locate and seize any illegal contraband, and eliminate all smugglers.


    ¡°Preliminary investigations conducted by my spies suggest that the smugglers are headquartered in the old sewer networks beneath the South-Eastern sector of the city. An entrance from the surface that leads directly to the underground base is suspected to exist in a non-registered warehouse along 28th Street. You can use that as your point of infiltration.


    ¡°For this mission, you will be accompanied by Junior Guard Lance Brower and Senior Guard Warner Tieg. The chain of command puts you on top, followed by SG Tieg and JG Brower. Questions?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, can I have lunch first? I''m starving.¡±


    ¡°Get to it.¡±


    ¡°Wow, these tacos are fucking amazing,¡± I said as I walked along 28th Street. The meat was soft and tender, and the spicy sauce gave it some nice heat. I was already on my sixth taco.


    ¡°By the Gods, where are you even putting all that food?¡± Warner commented from my left. His mouth still had a bit of sauce left from the taco he''d eaten. ¡°And do you call it taco where you''re from? Here, we call it meat wraps.¡±


    ¡°Meat wrap sounds kind of boring,¡± I said as I bit into my taco. I can''t place if the meat was chicken or cow. It honestly felt like a mix of the two, yet there was a different undertone that made me think it didn''t come from a farm animal. ¡°What is this thing even made of?¡±


    ¡°Jackalopes, most likely,¡± Warner answered. ¡°They''re huge bunny monsters with large horns prevalent in the forest south of the city. They''re usually easy to kill, and with their high populations, that makes their meat cheap.¡±


    ¡°Huh, that''s neat.¡±


    ¡°Can you guys focus?¡± Lance snapped from my right. ¡°We''re supposed to be on an important mission! We should be discussing strategies!¡±


    ¡°How the hell are we gonna discuss strategies when we haven''t even seen the place? There is no point in thinking too much about it,¡± I said with my mouth full. Bits of jackalope meat sprayed on Lance''s helmet. ¡°Sorry ''bout that.¡±


    ¡°We could at least try to be more serious about it,¡± Lance grumbled. He then started reciting some random bullshit from a book. ¡°Discipline is key in any military operation. Without discipline, chaos awaits the army.¡±


    ¡°Good thing we''re not military then,¡± I said.


    Lance paused. ¡°We''re not?¡±


    Warner grunted. ¡°There''s a reason why we''re called guards and not soldiers, kid.¡±


    ¡°What''s the difference?¡± Lance asked.


    ¡°Guards beat unruly citizens. Soldiers beat unruly foreigners,¡± I said. Warner barked out a laugh.


    Lance gave me a dubious glance. ¡°You''ve got to be joking.¡±


    I shrugged. ¡°Jokes always stem from the truth. But anyway, you''re probably right. We should decide on how we should go about this once we arrive at the warehouse.¡±


    ¡°I say just kick the door down and start swinging,¡± Warner grunted.


    ¡°My thoughts exactly,¡± I said as I finished off my taco. ¡°Though I''d prefer if they just peacefully surrendered.¡±


    Warner gave me a side-eye. ¡°Didn''t know you were such a merciful softie.¡±


    ¡°I''m not, though. I just don''t want to stain my clothes. I quite like this Constable uniform.¡±


    Right after Camille briefed me on my mission, she gave me a badass uniform. It looked just like a service dress uniform that military personnel wore on Earth in an informal setting. It consisted of an undershirt, gray jacket and trousers, black leather gloves, boots, and a cap.


    But what made the uniform even more amazing was its combat features. Steel plates magically enchanted with extra durability were sewn into the fabrics, giving me the same level of protection as a full plate armor. If an Eluvian bear tried to disembowel me again, it''d find its claws shattered against this magnificent uniform. Even my boots were framed with metal inside the leather.


    But the uniform wasn''t even the best part of my new ensemble. No, it was the big battleaxe strapped to my back that made me break out into a grin every now and then. With a haft of about half a meter and a single-bladed head, the weapon of ass-whooping was made entirely out of steel and weighed a lot. Like my uniform, it was also enchanted with extra durability.


    With my new threads and weapon, I felt like I could take on an entire army by myself.


    ¡°Why are you grinning like that?¡± Lance asked.


    I quickly wiped the stupid grin off my face and scowled. ¡°Keep your eyes on our surroundings, Junior Guard Brower. We must remain vigilant.¡±


    Lance rolled his eyes but complied nonetheless. It was about time, anyway. We were nearing the vicinity of the warehouse, and I could already feel the change in the air.


    We were unwelcome here.


    The buildings on both sides of the street looked empty and abandoned, but I could see eyes peeking from the windows. If the local residents were wary, then we probably should be, too.


    Although we were in a somewhat poor part of the city, the place still looked decent enough by my standards. The roads were paved, albeit a bit dirtied with litter. Only a few walls were vandalized, and I only saw a broken window once.


    This place was leagues better than my old place.


    Based on my companions'' expressions, though, this place was foreign to them. I suppose I could understand their perspective. The rest of Shieldhold was a clean and beautiful place, almost a paradise of a city that they had grown up in. Meanwhile, this place looked like it was left behind by the times.


    ¡°Get ready, we''re about to get some company soon,¡± I said as I unstrapped my battleaxe. The weight felt comforting in my hand.


    ¡°Where? I don''t see anyone,¡± Lance said as he warily looked around.


    ¡°Not yet, you don''t. But I spotted a few kids running ahead in the alleys. They''re informing the guys we''re after.¡±


    ¡°They use kids?¡± Lance asked with equal parts horror and anger.


    I shrugged. ¡°Probably. There''s plenty of them, they''re fast, and most importantly, they''re easy to dispose of.¡±


    ¡°You know quite a lot about how these things go, eh?¡± Warner asked.


    ¡°I lived in a place far worse than this one. This place is a paradise compared to the one I grew up in.¡±


    The warehouse eventually came into view a minute later, though there was a small issue. A group of cloaked figures were standing out front, facing us. Their hands held various bladed weapons.


    We stopped several meters away from the group, and right then, another group of cloaked people emerged from a side alley and blocked the way back.


    We were surrounded.


    One of the cloaked figures stepped forward, and under the light of the setting sun, I spotted a bald head covered with tattoos underneath the hood. I''ll call him Baldy. ¡°And what''re ya cunts s''posed to be doin'' ''ere, eh? We already paid our dues, ya greedy bastards.¡±


    I took a step forward, making the cloaked figures flinch. ¡°Listen here, you dickheads. I''m the new Constable in town and I''m looking for the smugglers known as the Black Traders. Are you nitwits affiliated with them?¡±


    The cloaked figures shuffled uncertainly as Baldy barked out a laugh. ¡°Yer a lyin'' sack o'' shit! There''re no Constables in Shieldhold, ya moron! Why''d ya think we set up shop in here?¡±


    ¡°So you are the Black Traders,¡± I said as I raised my axe. ¡°You fuckers are under arrest.¡±


    Then I charged.

 Chapter 17

    In hindsight, I should''ve given my allies a heads-up before I went full-on barbarian on these asshats. But to my defense, we were already surrounded and there was no way to discuss a plan without the enemies hearing about it. We could have planned on the way here but¡­ well, we were eating tacos.


    As soon as I was within range, I swung my battleaxe at Baldy, who simply grinned and easily dodged my axe. He brandished two stilettos in each hand and stabbed both of them into my chest. There was a dull clang as they failed to penetrate my uniform''s armor.


    I swung at him again, but Baldy was too slippery. In the time it took me to make a single swing, he stabbed me five times in various places on my torso. All of them were blocked by my armor.


    ¡°Dammit, I''ll save you for last,¡± I growled before I targeted Baldy''s friends. Baldy took advantage of my opening to strike me all over my body, but I ignored him. And unlike their leader, the rest of the rabble did not fare as well against me.


    Smuggler 1 tried to block my axe swing like an idiot by crossing his blades together. It did nothing to slow down my heavy axe as it bisected him from head to groin.


    [You have slain a Lv. 18 Thief. Experience gained.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 13.]


    Smuggler 2 spat a weird poisonous dust cloud at my face that stung my eyes and blinded me for a few seconds. I opened my arms wide and ran at him with my eyes closed. The moment I touched him, I pulled him into a crushing embrace.


    [You have slain a Lv. 13 Poisoner. Experience gained.]


    My body quickly cleared out the poison in my eyes, just in time for Smuggler 3 to stab my neck with a shortsword. I Hardened my neck at the last moment, and his sword bounced off. My axe didn''t when I did the same to his neck, though.


    [You have slain a Lv. 15 Scout. Experience gained.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 14.]


    When I turned to Smuggler 4, the man was trembling and there was already a small puddle of piss at his feet. ¡°Aw, that''s nasty.¡±


    I approached the last dude in Baldy''s group, but Baldy, who had been striking at my armor pointlessly all this time, finally figured out the brilliant idea to try hitting me other than the armored portions of my body. There was a glint of a blade in my vision, and all of a sudden, my throat was suddenly spurting blood like a fountain.


    [Hard as Fuck has leveled up to Lv.2]


    [Physical Resistance has leveled up to Lv.2]


    Baldy landed nearby, grinning madly. But when he saw my spurting neck, his jaw dropped. ¡°How are you alive?! That should have beheaded you!¡±


    Damn right it should''ve. If not for my Skills, I''d be a headless corpse by now.


    I ignored Baldy and kept my course towards Smuggler 4. The pissy man tried to run, but he wasn''t fast enough. My axe split his head in two and cut all the way down to his torso before getting stuck in his abdomen.


    [You have slain a Lv. 12 Merchant. Experience gained.]


    By the time I pulled my axe free of Smuggler 4''s corpse, my neck wound was already closing. Just in time too, because Baldy went for another strike to my neck, causing another blood fountain once again.


    But fool me once, shame on him. Fool me twice, I''m gonna rip him apart.


    Just as Baldy was cutting my throat, I anticipated his move and managed to grab his right foot. To my amazement, his reaction speed was stupidly fast as he immediately tried to cut my hand off. Unfortunately for him, his blade hit the armored portion of my long sleeve.


    I grabbed his captured leg with my other hand, and just like what I loved to do to my pencils during elementary, I snapped his leg in two.


    Baldy''s screams echoed throughout the street like a whistling kettle. In the distance, where I saw Lance and Warner fighting against the other group of smugglers, everyone paused as they looked my way.


    ¡°Sorry about the noise, I''ll try to keep it down,¡± I called out before I stomped on Baldy''s screaming head. My armored boot crushed his head like a piece of fruit.


    [You have slain a Lv. 27 Dark Assassin. Experience gained.]This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 15. You are eligible for a Skill choice.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 16.]


    [Please choose a Skill below.]


    [General Skills Choices]


    1. Minor Poison Resistance - Slightly reduces the effects of poison.


    2. Minor Cold Resistance - Slightly reduces the effect of cold.


    3. Woodcraft - Provides a boost to proficiency in activities related to basic wilderness survival.


    4. Intimidation - People weaker than you become more susceptible to intimidation. Your actions become more intimidating.


    5. Axe Mastery - Provides a boost to proficiency in wielding axes.


    [Class Skills Choices]


    1. Ignorant Fool - Attacks you receive that you are not aware of deal significantly reduced damage.


    2. Blood Bag - Convert mana into blood inside your body.


    ¡°Get the fuck out of my face for a bit,¡± I growled at the notifications as I ran towards my two teammates. But it turns out they didn''t need me. By the time I arrived, most of the group was dead save for one man begging for his life. Warner was currently tying him up.


    ¡°Good job guys,¡± I said as I walked up to them. ¡°Did I miss anything?¡±


    Lance spun towards me, and though his face was mostly covered by his helmet, his eyes displayed his anger. ¡°Are you out of your Godsdamned mind?! Why would you charge in like that without even a signal?!¡±


    ¡°Sorry ''bout that, I forgot you were with me,¡± I said with a shrug. I had been too used to being alone.


    ¡°What you did was dangerous, you big oaf,¡± Warner said as he finished tying up the sole survivor. ¡°If Lance and I had been normal rank-and-file guards, we''d already be dead trying to hold back multiple assailants by our lonesome. Our blood would have been on your hands.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I''m not used to working with a team. Next time, I''ll tell Camille to send me on missions solo.¡±


    Warner shook his head at me. ¡°You''re even more hopeless than the kid when it comes to listening to your elders. Nobody can survive alone, even with your stupid regeneration.¡±


    I chuckled at his words. ¡°Watch me, old man. I''m a more stubborn bastard than you think.¡±


    The three of us decided to spend a short time piling the bodies inside the warehouse. Warner didn''t want to leave them lying on the street like that. So Lance and I started dragging the bodies inside while Warner interrogated the captured smuggler.


    As we did our tasks, I took the opportunity to read my notifications. A grin split my face.


    ¡°Hold on, why are my Skill choices suddenly split between ¡®General¡¯ and ¡®Class¡¯ Skills?¡± I muttered to myself. When I asked Lance, he told me to pick Class Skills every time.


    Apparently, everybody was allowed to choose a Skill every five levels. At level 5, people could only choose from General Skills, while at level 10, the Skill choice was replaced with a Class choice. Starting at level 15 though, people were given the chance to choose between General Skills and Class Skills.


    ¡°Are General Skills really that bad?¡± I asked Lance, still confused why he didn''t want me to waste my choice on a General Skill. ¡°Some of them seem promising.¡±


    ¡°Don''t get me wrong, General Skills can get as powerful as Class Skills. But you can always obtain General Skills through training, while you can only ever get Class Skills through choices.¡±


    Oh, now I see. That was certainly a good reason.


    ¡°Hey Lance, which Skill do you think I should pick,¡± I said as I brought the last body into the warehouse. ¡°The first one reduces the damage of any attack I''m not aware of. The second one allows me to convert mana to blood.¡±


    Lance stared at me with wide and sparkling eyes. What the fuck was up with that? ¡°W-Wow, I didn''t know you trusted me that much, Mister Bob.¡±


    I gave him a weird look. ¡°Stop being sappy. I''m just asking for advice.¡±


    Lance gave an awkward laugh. ¡°Sure, Mister Bob. Normally, the first Skill you described would be the better choice in almost any circumstance. However, you should choose the second one. Creation-type Skills are always more valuable than any other Skill.¡±


    ¡°Creation-type?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, Skills that create real stuff out of mana. They''re very useful and versatile most of the time. As an example, your second Skill choice means that you will never bleed out from a nasty wound as long as you have mana. And while out of combat, you can also use that Skill to sell your own blood or donate it to those in need. But I don''t advise giving out too much of your blood, though. Witches and warlocks can cook up nasty curses if they get ahold of your blood.¡±


    I didn''t get to hear the rest of Lance''s advice the moment he said I could sell my own blood. Holy shit, wasn''t this an infinite money glitch, then?


    [You have gained Blood Bag Lv. 1]


    I instinctually knew how to use the Skill, but as much as I wanted to test it out immediately, Warner returned from his interrogation. I noticed that the smuggler was not with him. Probably dead.


    ¡°I''ve got good news and bad news,¡± Warner began. ¡°The good news is that the leader of the Black Traders is supposedly inside the base as we speak. It turned out that today was the day they received a shipment of contraband from who-knows-where. The bad news is that there are only three of us.¡±


    ¡°Then let''s just call for reinforcements, then,¡± I suggested.


    ¡°We could, but by the time they arrive, the leader would have been long gone,¡± Warner said. ¡°These smuggling rings are certain to have a mole working in the city guard. They can''t operate here without it. So if we call for reinforcements, that''s the same as telling them we''re coming.¡±


    ¡°Probably, but not like we have a choice, do we?¡± I asked. ¡°We can''t just go in there with the three of us, after all. Might as well get on with it.¡±


    ¡°But the leader! He''ll escape!¡± Lance exclaimed.


    ¡°Yeah, so? That''s not our mission anyway,¡± I replied. ¡°Our mission is to kill the smugglers and seize the contraband. If the leader is no longer there by the time reinforcements arrive, well then, too bad. We''ll get ''em next time.¡±


    ¡°How can you be so uncaring about this? Innocent people''s lives are at stake here!¡± Lance exclaimed angrily.


    ¡°How the hell are lives endangered by smuggled goods? I''ve never heard of people dying because the government lost some money from a few untaxed goods.¡±


    ¡°Didn''t Lady Camille tell you what the contraband was during your briefing?¡± Warner asked me.


    ¡°No, I didn''t ask.¡± More like I probably wasn''t listening at the time.


    Warner gave me the most intense look I''ve ever seen on the old man''s face. ¡°Child slaves.¡±


    ¡°Well shit.¡±

 Chapter 18

    Ultimately, we decided on a compromise: Lance would call for reinforcements while Warner and I would raid the base by ourselves. By the time the smugglers'' informant in the city guards arrived to bring news of the impending assault on the base, they would already be dead.


    Lance didn''t like being sent away, but he saw the wisdom in our course of action and went without complaint.


    Right now, it was just me and Warner traversing a man-made hidden tunnel we found inside the warehouse. It was a tight fit, just wide enough to allow me to squeeze my huge frame through.


    ¡°So,¡± I whispered. ¡°What''s the deal with you and Lance, eh? Are you some kind of secret agent working for the Governor disguised as city guards?¡±


    ¡°You hit the nail right on the head, though it''s just me. Lance is just a trainee guard,¡± Warner admitted easily.


    ¡°Wow, I didn''t think you''d freely admit to it like that.¡±


    ¡°Let''s leave the time-wasting to the young''uns, Bob. There''s no point in denying something so obvious.¡±


    ¡°I wouldn''t say it was obvious. You made a really good lazy act of a guard at the gate.¡±


    ¡°That wasn''t an act.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I thought so too.¡±


    ¡°So what gave me away?¡± Warner asked as he paused at a split in the tunnel. He looked left and right, then turned right. I followed.


    ¡°How about the fact that you''re supposed to be some random gate guard, but all of a sudden, Camille just sends you with me to a, quite frankly, suicide mission? Either she knows that we''re acquainted and thus gave me teammates I''m familiar with, which implies you snitched on me like an informant would, or you are secretly a powerful operative sent to keep me alive.¡±


    ¡°And here I thought your brain was long replaced by muscle,¡± Warner muttered. ¡°I preferred your outwardly stupid demeanor, Bob. Makes it easier to disregard you.¡±


    ¡°I am stupid. But I''m also observant. So, which of the two is it?¡±


    Warner paused as we finally reached the end of the tunnel. It connected directly to an old sewer tunnel that smelled like centuries-old shit. The torches installed on the walls were evidence that people were using these supposedly defunct sewers.


    Before Warner jumped down to the sewer below, he looked back at me. ¡°Both.¡±


    And then he jumped down.


    ¡°Overdramatic bastard,¡± I muttered before following. I fell for about two seconds before landing on an ankle-deep puddle of liquid diarrhea. My landing caused shit to splash all over the place. Warner, on the other hand, was standing far away, completely clean. Fucker didn''t even warn me.


    Shit. Was. Everywhere. On the walls, on my boots, on my uniform, and on my beard. The only saving grace was that my mouth was closed when I landed.


    I really wanted to curse loudly right there and then, but we had to be quiet. The plan was to get as close to the base as possible before we inevitably got spotted, and just because a bit of ten-year-old shit stained my clothes didn''t mean I should compromise the mission by cursing my lungs out.


    Though I really wanted to. Dammit, I''m not cut out for this stealthy type of work.


    Warner led the way as we moved deeper into the tunnels. There were so many branching paths that if not for the old man, I would have been stuck wandering these sewers forever.


    We eventually reached a corner where Warner signaled for me to stay put. He peeked around the corner, and after a moment, he leaned over to me. ¡°Guards ahead, no way around it. We''ll have to go loud.¡±


    ¡°Finally.¡±


    ¡°Once we do go loud, we''ll have to rush the enemy,¡± Warner said. ¡°We can''t let the ring leader escape.¡±


    ¡°I''ll charge in first to soak up all the attacks, I''ll leave it up to you to deal with any bastard that gets past me.¡±


    Warner nodded. ¡°Simple but good plan.¡±


    I held my battleaxe in my right hand and picked up a flat piece of thick rubble nearby. It had convenient handholds that allowed me to use it as a shield. It must''ve been the same size as my torso, but I found the weight manageable. I''d grown far stronger than I expected.


    I nodded at Warner, and after a mental count, I charged from around the corner and barreled down the narrow sewer tunnel with my impromptu stone shield raised in front of me. At the other end was a small camp where five smugglers were lounging around. They only spotted me when I was less than twenty meters away from them.


    ¡°Intruders! Sound the alarm!¡±


    The keening sound of a bell echoed throughout the sewer as I reached my first victim. With my sheer mass and the speed I was moving at, the poor bastard flew like a ragdoll when he collided with my shield face-first.


    [You have slain a Lv. 17 Brawler. Experience gained.]


    I swung my axe as I passed by two other smugglers, reaping their lives instantly.


    [You have slain a Lv. 18 Bandit. Experience gained.]


    [You have slain a Lv. 17 Bandit. Experience gained.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 17.]


    The two remaining smugglers struck at me as I moved past them, but their attacks were nullified by my armor and my innate resistance. I don''t know if they gave chase, but I just had to trust Warner to cover my back.


    Now that the alarm was sounded, there was no time to lose. I continued barreling down the sewer without stopping, my momentum only growing bigger as I picked up more speed.


    The tunnel split into two paths ahead. Before I could even ask, Warner shouted at me to go left, and I followed.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    We spent the next few minutes running down abandoned sewer tunnels, killing groups of smugglers as we went. My heavy axe swung through the air with a menacing whoosh every time I struck, while Warner behind me wielded his spear expertly and took care of any enemy I missed.


    Eventually, the sewer led into a large circular chamber that was evidently the smuggler base itself. There were dozens of smugglers running about, arming themselves and shouting at our entrance. Cages of various shapes and sizes filled the edges of the circular chamber, and inside those cages were filthy slaves with collars wrapped around their necks.


    Most of them were children, their eyes wide with fear and red with tears. All of them were naked.


    Now, I was far from a man with morals, but if there was one thing I didn''t abide by at all, that was the abuse of children. These fuckers are gonna pay.


    ¡°Cover my back, I''m charging in,¡± I called out to Warner. ¡°If you see the leader, tell me and I''ll immediately run the fucker down.¡±


    Warner grunted in acknowledgement, and then I was off.


    The remaining smugglers were concentrated in the middle of the chamber, where they waited for me with readied weapons. Some of them even had hands that magically flared with fire. I had never experienced being struck with magic yet, but it looks like I''ll find out how it feels soon enough.


    I ran at the smugglers with my stone shield at the front, and boy did I want to pat my past self in the back for picking up the piece of rubble. Dozens of steel bolts and fireballs collided with my stone shield as I charged, soaking up all the damage my body would have taken without the piece of rubble I''d been carrying. The stone quickly turned hot from all the fireball blasts it was taking, and the few licks of flame that went past the edges of the shield scorched my extremities.


    By the time I reached their front line, my stone shield was reduced to a small piece of red hot rock, leaving me with nothing to block projectiles with. Well, not like I needed it anymore, because their mages stopped firing to prevent their cohorts from getting caught up in the flames.


    And then, I was upon them.


    My first swing reaped three lives at once, the smugglers bathing in their own blood as I bisected them horizontally. Notifications started blocking my vision, but I told them to shut up for a moment and focused on the fight.


    With enemies surrounding me on all sides, I was pelted with dozens of attacks. Most of them bounced off uselessly against my armored uniform, while those that aimed for my neck only managed to deal a shallow cut to my skin thanks to Hard as Fuck, which immediately healed thanks to my regeneration.


    With my entire body practically unbreakable, I let loose in the middle of the enemy formation. My axe swung in slow, horizontal arcs that decimated my enemies'' bodies like twigs. Blood flew everywhere, and the sound of pained shouts and breaking bones mixed together in a horrific melody.


    Meanwhile, Warner was being a menace all on his own as he took advantage of the chaos I was causing and stabbed any poor bastard trying to flank me. His spear was a blur as it stabbed at the enemies'' vitals like a snake.


    I reaped lives quickly like a farmer scything wheat, and when the concentration of enemies around me dwindled, the mages took that as permission to start blasting me with fireballs again.


    And without my stone shield, things quickly turned hot.


    My uniform, although it was designed to resist physical attacks, was not built to withstand magic. The fire burned through the fabric easily, exposing all the metal plates hidden beneath. As the fabrics frayed and burned to ashes, the plates fell off in quick order until I was completely naked.


    Dammit, this was just like in the forest when I had to fight monsters in my birthday suit.


    The mages hooted at me mockingly as they bathed me in a continuous stream of fire. My skin burned to a crisp and my hair was turned to ashes. Even my eyeballs fucking melted.


    The entirety of my being was awash with pain.


    ¡°Warner!¡± I screamed, my voice hoarse from the heat and agony. ¡°Which direction is the mages?!¡±


    ¡°To your northeast!¡± the old man replied from somewhere.


    With my eyes gone, all I had to go on were Warner''s words as I bullrushed to the northeast. Thankfully, he didn''t disappoint.


    I bumped into somebody, and just before they flew off from the impact, I grabbed one of their limbs and I started hacking their body to pieces with my axe.


    I read the notification that appeared despite my non-existent eyeballs.


    [You have slain a Lv. 19 Fire Mage. Experience gained.]


    ¡°Warner! Where next?!¡±


    ¡°Behind you!¡±


    I spun and ran, and I heard fear-stricken cries and footsteps moving away from me. It was moving slightly to the right, and I followed the noise. When I reached my next victim, I blindly reached for his head and pulled as hard as I could until it came off. His screams were abruptly cut short.


    After that, the mass of flames raining down on me ceased as I heard the mages whimper and run away. A large part of me wanted to chase after them relentlessly until I killed them one by one, but I stopped myself.


    Warner had already chided me earlier. I was not alone in this operation. I couldn''t just leave him behind to go off on my own.


    The noise of battle slowly dwindled as I stood around, blind, swinging my axe randomly. Nobody was attacking me anymore, though I knew there were still smugglers about. I could hear their stifled sobs and hurried steps as they ran away.


    Eventually, the chamber was quiet save for my breathing.


    ¡°Warner? You still alive?¡± I called out as I felt my body healing.


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Warner responded tiredly. ¡°I''m too old for this shit.¡±


    ¡°How about the leader? Did we kill ''im?¡±


    ¡°He''s dead. Though I was hoping to have questioned him alive.¡±


    ¡°You should''ve held back, then.¡±


    ¡°You''re the one who killed him, you damn oaf.¡±


    I paused. ¡°Oh.¡±


    ¡°Bah, what''s done is done. He was one of the mages cooking you alive.¡±


    ¡°In my defense, being roasted alive was not a pleasant experience,¡± I said as I sat down on the ground to wait for my body to fully heal. Most of my burns were already healing up quite nicely, though my eyes looked (hah!) like they were gonna take a longer while to come back.


    ¡°I imagine it wouldn''t,¡± Warner said as I heard him opening the cages one by one. And then I started hearing the slaves sobbing. Right, I forgot about them.


    Fifteen minutes passed before my vision finally came back. When I could finally see again, I saw the final state of the smuggler''s den.


    The edge of the circular chamber was relatively unscathed. All the cages were open and the slaves were milling about as Warner handed out blankets to the poor kids.


    The center of the chamber, on the other hand, was a different sight. The stone was charred black from the fire, along with the pile of corpses scattered all over it.


    And in the middle of it all was me.


    ¡°Fuck!¡±


    I suddenly jumped to my feet when I realized what I was sitting on. It was the burned face of one of the smugglers. Of all the shit that could happen, me facesitting another man was the last thing I expected. It didn''t help that I was naked at the moment.


    Warner approached me a moment later. ¡°The smugglers had a total of fifty illegal slaves in here. Two died in the fight from stray projectiles, eight are injured, but the rest are in good condition.¡±


    I sighed as I saw the two blankets on the ground on the other side of the room where the dead slaves were. ¡°Can''t save ''em all, I suppose.¡±


    ¡°Indeed,¡± Warner said. ¡°Reinforcements should be arriving any minute now, and several smugglers managed to escape into the sewers. What are your orders?¡±


    Right, I forgot I was supposed to be the commanding officer in here. ¡°We''ll just stay here until reinforcements arrive. No point in chasing rats in the sewers, they know this place better than we do. Might as well keep watch.¡±


    While waiting for reinforcements, I took the chance to look for something to cover my manhood with. I settled with one of the blankets Warner had been distributing to the slaves and wrapped it around my waist.


    At some point during the wait, one of the slaves approached me, a small girl maybe about eight or nine years of age. She had a filthy face and ragged hair, but it didn''t diminish the brightness in her eyes. ¡°T-Thank you, Mishter Hero. Thank you for shaving ush!¡±


    ¡°Hey now, don''t tell anybody what you said. I''m gonna get in trouble if they hear I shaved minors.¡±


    ¡°No! Not shave, but shave!¡± the girl corrected.


    ¡°Yeah, yeah. You''re welcome, kid.¡±


    Speaking of shaving, I was elated when I learned that my regeneration also gave me back my hair. God knew the hell I would inflict on the world if my majestic beard was permanently destroyed.


    Several other slaves came to thank me, and one even hugged me. It was uncomfortable, not just because I was not used to such close contact with others unless I was trying to kill them, but also because everybody stank to high heaven. The slaves smelled like ten-year-old laundry, while I smelled like literal shit, blood, and burnt meat.


    But I suppose the fuzzy warm feeling I felt after made it worth it.

 Chapter 19

    When the city guards finally arrived, I handed off all responsibility to them. The local Guard Captain (apparently, there was more than one Guard Captain in the city) was wide-eyed when he saw all the slaves and corpses, but he quickly snapped back to it. He gave me a resolute nod. ¡°You can leave the rest to us, sir.¡±


    ¡°Thanks.¡±


    My team and I then left the scene of the crime by ourselves. Lance was pretty disappointed that he didn''t manage to reach the party in time, but he was easily appeased when Warner told him how it went.


    ¡°Wow, I wished I was there to see Mister Bob in action,¡± Lance said as he turned to me. ¡°How did you even survive being cooked alive? Are you actually immortal?¡±


    I shrugged. ¡°I''m very hard to kill, I guess.¡± I then turned to Warner. ¡°Say, do you think we can trust that Guard Captain we left at the scene?¡±


    ¡°You don''t have to worry about it. Guard Captain Pendern could be trusted. And even if he turned out to be working for the snugglers, they wouldn''t risk trying to catch attention to themselves so soon after suffering a debilitating attack. They''ll lay low to lick their wounds.¡±


    With my worries assuaged, we made our way back to the City Hall. People gave me the stinkeye when they saw my dirty state, but I didn''t give a shit. After experiencing what it felt like to be burnt alive, I had easily mastered the art of not giving a fuck.


    While we walked, I finally took the opportunity to look at the wall of notifications I''d been holding off.


    [You have slain a Lv.18 Swordsman. Experience gained.]


    ¡­


    ¡­


    ¡­


    [You have slain a Lv. 28 Fire Magus. Experience gained.]


    The kill notifications went on and on. When I did a rough count, I realized I killed more than twenty people in this single mission alone. Most of them had been at a higher level than me, yet I still outpowered them during the battle by a large margin, which was a little confusing. Weren''t levels supposed to indicate how strong somebody is?


    I think I might be missing some crucial information about this leveling thing. I better ask somebody about the mechanics of this thing.


    [Regeneration has leveled up to Lv.3]


    [Physical Resistance has leveled up to Lv.3]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 18.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 19.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 20. You are eligible for a Skill choice.]


    My eyes almost bugged out of their sockets. Three whole levels? Now that I thought about it, I did feel better overall. More stable, more solid, and much more powerful. I was starting to understand why people were willing to become slayers despite the risk. If fighting and killing shit brought this much experience, then all the blood spilled was worth it.


    Until it suddenly isn''t, that is. Hard to call something worth it when you drop dead because the risk finally caught up. That''s the thing with taking risks: no matter how lucky you get, as long as you keep taking them, the risk eventually becomes a certainty despite its chances being small.


    Which was why I hated my new fucking job that requires me to fight. I''d rather be a low-earning street sweeper with no risk of fighting smugglers in their headquarters, but as always, it is what it is. On the bright side, leveling up so quickly like this would make me even harder to kill. I''ll just look at my situation as an investment to make myself unkillable in the future.


    Yeah, let''s look at it like that.


    [Please choose a Skill below.]


    [General Skill Choices]


    1. Minor Poison Resistance - Slightly reduces the effects of poison.


    2. Minor Cold Resistance - Slightly reduces the effect of cold.


    3. Woodcraft - Provides a boost to proficiency in activities related to basic wilderness survival.


    4. Intimidation - People weaker than you become more susceptible to intimidation. Your actions become more intimidating.


    5. Axe Mastery - Provides a boost to proficiency in wielding axes.


    6. Minor Fire Resistance - Slightly reduces damage from fire.This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.


    7. Minor Pain Mitigation - Slightly reduces all physical pain felt.


    [Class Skill Choices]


    1. Ignorant Fool - Attacks you receive that you are not aware of deal significantly reduced damage to you.


    2. Thick-skinned - You cannot feel physical pain.


    3. Masochist - You gain strength proportional to the level of pain you endure.


    Damn, my Skill Choices were starting to get long. There were two new General Skill Choices, Minor Fire Resistance and Minor Pain Mitigation, and two new Class Skill Choices, Thick-skinned and Masochist.


    Following Lance''s advice, I ignored the General Skill Choices and focused on the Class Skills. The moment I saw Thick-skinned, the temptation to select it right away was overwhelming. Who wouldn''t want immunity to pain? The entirety of both my past and present lives had been filled with so much pain that I sometimes wondered how I was still sane.


    But after experiencing everything I did in this world, from the monsters that wanted to eat me to the motherfuckers in this city who wanted to kill me for stupid reasons, I knew my current power was still lacking. All I wanted was freedom to live my life how I wanted it. And based on how things were going for me so far, I needed a whole lot more power if I wanted to achieve that freedom.


    Looking at the two new Class Skill Choices I had, I knew I could only pick one or the other because of their opposing natures. And it was obvious which of the two would give me more strength in combat.


    Before I could even spiral down the road of hesitation, I picked the Skill I needed.


    [You have gained Masochist Lv.1]


    ¡°Fucking hell,¡± I muttered.


    ¡°You alright, Bob?¡± Lance asked.


    ¡°Not in the slightest,¡± I said. ¡°But it is what it is.¡±


    ¡°Hearing smart words from you feels weird,¡± Warner said.


    ¡°I only know a few, so I try to make them count.¡±


    When we finally arrived at the City Hall, we were quickly ushered into a bathroom where we were told to clean ourselves. As much as I wanted to just meet with Camille and be done with it all, I knew it was unreasonable to speak with the Governor while wearing only a blanket around my waist and drenched in liquid diarrhea.


    It took me an entire hour under a shower of steaming hot water to completely remove the smell of sewer on me. Thanks to the soap that the City Hall staff gave us, I now smelled like flowers and sunshine. The staff even handed me another set of my Constable uniform, but this one wasn''t armored like the previous one and was just plain cloth. Too bad.


    I met back up with my teammates outside the Governor''s office. Both of them were also cleaned up and looked sharp in their armor, sans the helmet.


    ¡°Took you long enough. Let''s be done with this,¡± Warner grumbled as he nodded at the door guard, who quickly let us in.


    Camille was busy with paperwork when we entered, but as soon as she saw us, she put a pause on her work. ¡°Good evening, gentlemen. The mission went well, I hope?¡±


    ¡°Went as well as it could,¡± I said as I took the seat in front of the desk. ¡°You didn''t tell me the contraband I was seizing were child slaves, and neither did you tell me there''d be more than half a hundred smugglers in there. We had to storm them with a two-man team.¡±


    Camille nodded at me. ¡°I didn''t tell you about the child slaves because that intel had come from an unconfirmed rumor. Slavery is the worst crime someone could commit in the Empire and invites immense scrutiny from the central government if they get even a single whiff of it. I wanted to keep it under wraps for as much as possible until it turns out to be true, and to be frank with you, I do not trust you enough yet. You could be a spy from a neighboring province, for all I know.¡±


    ¡°Fair enough,¡± I shrugged. ¡°But Warner seemed to be very sure of the presence of slaves when he told me about it though, before we even stormed the base.¡±


    Camille''s head snapped towards the old man, a frown on her face. ¡°You told him about the slaves before the raid?¡±


    ¡°I had to, lass,¡± Warner said nonchalantly. ¡°When we entered the warehouse, I heard the conversations between the smugglers underground. They were about to transport the slaves to another location, and Bob here was adamant about waiting for reinforcements before storming the base. If we waited for longer, we wouldn''t have reached the slaves in time, so I convinced him to begin the raid right away by revealing the presence of the children.¡±


    ¡°You heard a conversation from deep underground?¡± I asked. ¡°That''s a mighty fine set of ears you have.¡±


    ¡°It''s a Skill.¡±


    ¡°Remind me not to fart anywhere near you.¡±


    Camille sighed as she massaged her temples. ¡°That is alright, then. My primary worry was Bob inadvertently spreading false rumors of slavery in the city, but now that it is a confirmed truth, it should be fine.¡±


    ¡°How did the smuggling den even grow so large in the first place? That was half a hundred people. You''ve got a literal army of slavers down there,¡± I asked. ¡°Are your Guard Captains even doing their jobs? How could they miss fifty children in large cages coming through the gates?¡±


    ¡°The smugglers have most likely found or dug an entrance from outside the city into the old sewers,¡± Camille replied with a frown. ¡°But you''re right, the smugglers have influential contacts within the city, and it''s your job to apprehend them.¡±


    ¡°Got any leads?¡±


    ¡°We are almost certain that the smugglers and various criminal activity in the city are funded by Lord Carmen Grayshield,¡± Warner answered. ¡°He''s the father of the boy who tried to kill you outside the Slayer''s Guild.¡±


    ¡°Grayshield? Isn''t that your name too?¡± I asked Camille, who gave me a small smile.


    ¡°Indeed, Carmen Grayshield is my uncle. But do not mistake him as someone I hold dear. He has long been a thorn in my side, and I would gladly see him walk to the gallows for all the crimes he has committed.¡±


    ¡°Why is he still free, then?¡±


    ¡°Simple. He is the richest man in the city,¡± Camille said. ¡°I may be the Governor, but that does not make me the sole and absolute authority in Shieldhold. Carmen Grayshield holds a lot of sway over the City Guard and other government officials, making it difficult to apprehend him and collate evidence of his crimes.¡±


    ¡°Then how the hell do you expect me to arrest a man you can''t even touch?¡±


    ¡°By virtue of your position,¡± Camille said. ¡°A Constable is no simple position, Bob. It comes with the authority to investigate any government body or agency in this city for any signs of corruption. With your authority, we could investigate Carmen''s illegal activities to our heart''s content.¡±


    ¡°Then why didn''t you appoint a Constable all this time, then? I bet Warner would''ve made a good one.¡±


    The room was silent for a short moment as Camille gave me a sardonic smile. ¡°I already had Constables in the past, many times. They''re all dead now.¡±


    ¡°What?!¡±


    And then it hit me. My job as a Constable was to sniff out corruption in all government agencies within the city. That basically meant that I just turned all of them into my enemies by virtue of my job.


    ¡°Those before me were all assassinated, weren''t they?¡± I asked, already knowing the answer to my question.


    ¡°Congratulations,¡± Warner said behind me. ¡°You just found out why I refused to be Constable.¡±

 Chapter 20

    The revelation that I now had a target painted on my back was fucking frustrating, but it was too late to turn back now. The contract was signed, and unless I was willing to breach it, I was stuck in this job for an entire year.


    And here I was hoping for an easy and laidback job at the Laborer''s Guild. Should''ve known my life wasn''t going to be that easy.


    ¡°You don''t have to worry too much,¡± Camille said with a calm I wasn''t feeling. ¡°Unlike the ones that came before you, you are far stronger and harder to kill.¡±


    ¡°Just means the enemy is gonna try even harder to kill me,¡± I said with a sigh.


    ¡°Which is why you must strive to be stronger. Hence, I will be putting you under combat training starting tomorrow.¡± Before I could complain, Camille continued. ¡°Don''t worry, your training will be considered part of your job and thus you will still get your daily salary.¡±


    Then I have no complaints.


    ¡°That will be all for today''s debriefing,¡± Camille said as she started organizing paperwork on her desk. ¡°Bob, I suggest that you sleep with one eye open tonight. I haven''t made a public announcement yet regarding your appointment to the position, but the important people in the city are already in the know. Expect trouble.¡±


    ¡°Don''t have to tell me twice. I already know that trouble always finds me.¡±


    ?????


    After the debriefing with Camille, I headed towards the Finance section of the City Hall to get my pay. They gave me one gold coin''s worth of silver, and it turned out that it was a lot of silver.


    One gold was equivalent to a hundred silvers, and a silver was equivalent to a hundred copper coins. Considering the tacos I ate earlier which had cost less than a silver, I finally had a grasp of the true value of money here.


    In other words, I was fucking rich!


    As soon as I got my money, I made my way to the commercial district of the city and began my eating spree. The first restaurant I went to was a posh one that offered delicious food, but the portions were atrocious. A dumpling the size of my finger cost an entire fucking silver.


    After the posh restaurant, I decided to try out the various food stalls lining the streets of the commercial district, and boy did it not disappoint. From meat skewers to egg rolls to sausage buns to fried monster meat, I tried it all.


    It was heaven.


    Never have I imagined that the time would eventually come when I could eat all the shit I wanted without having to worry if I''d still have the money to last the rest of the month. This was basically my dream, to be free of the burden of poverty. And to think that I literally had to travel to another world just to attain it was ridiculous.


    Barring the monsters and the smugglers and the killings, life in this other world was almost a blessing for me. Here, I wasn''t a powerless man at the mercy of a gang. Here, I was a cockroach of a bastard who could fall hundreds of meters down the mountain and live to tell the tale.


    Here, I had power, and no asshole street gang would be able to abuse me anymore. I just wished Ma was here with me.


    My eating spree lasted deep into the night. For some reason, I just didn''t seem to become full, so I just kept on eating and eating. I even got to the point that I blew my entire daily wages and began digging into the money I got from Morgman.


    Was this a wise financial decision? Hell no. But then again, money was meant to be spent.


    Eventually, my eating spree did have to end, not because I finally felt full, but because the stores and stalls were closing. A bummer, but I guess it was a good thing, too. My savings were, uh, not in a good spot.


    I began walking back to the Silver Foal Hotel where I stayed in, the streets mostly empty of pedestrians. This was the first time I was walking the city''s streets late in the night, and despite my expectation that I''d be mugged, no such thing occurred thanks to the numerous guard patrols roaming the streets.


    Heck, I think I was the one being suspected as a mugger from how the damn guards were looking at me.


    ¡°Welcome to the Silver Foal Hotel,¡± Ada greeted me as I entered the lobby. The receptionist had a practiced smile on her face, though that practice was put to the test when she saw me. ¡°A-Ah, Mister Bob. Welcome back. Will you be extending your stay here?¡±


    ¡°Just for a few more nights. I just realized you guys are charging a damn arm and a leg for a single room,¡± I said as I placed a gold coin on the counter.


    ¡°T-Thank you for your patronage, sir.¡±


    Leaving behind the nervous and stuttering receptionist, I went to my room, took another good long bath to wash away all the oils that clung to my skin and beard after my eating spree, and then went to sleep.The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    My sleep was disturbed several hours later.


    ?????


    Five black-clad men walked through the dark alleys of the city, tracking a giant man eating his way through the commercial district. The shadows of the night clung to their figures tightly, concealing their appearance and presence from the mundane eye.


    When the mark finally retired to his hotel, the men waited an entire hour before moving. One climbed up to the roof of the hotel, one waited by the front and rear entrance each, one watched the window of the mark''s room from a rooftop across the street, and finally, one entered the mark''s room through the window.


    The assassin crept across the room, a dagger held in hand as he approached the sleeping mark with nary a sound. As soon as he got in range, the assassin plunged the dagger into the mark''s throat and stepped back.


    But he was not fast enough. The mark had been awake all this time and was waiting for him.


    The moment the dagger reached its target, the mark''s eyes opened and his hand reached for the assassin''s arm. The assassin failed to dodge in time, but he did not panic and stabbed the mark again in the arm.


    But instead of steel plunging deep into flesh, the dagger''s tip barely breached the mark''s skin. He felt like he just stabbed a piece of thick leather.


    The mark pulled the assassin into an embrace and started crushing the man. The silence of the night was soon shattered as the assassin''s screams and crunching bones filled the air.


    And then it was abruptly cut.


    The watcher assassin spied through the window as the mark dropped the dead assassin''s body. The mark plucked the dagger out of his throat without care and tossed it aside, and like taking out the trash, the mark carried the corpse across the room and tossed it out the fifth-floor window. The body landed on the ground with an unpleasant noise.


    And as if nothing happened, the mark went back to sleep.


    The watcher assassin pondered for a short moment. A moment later, he brought out a pendant, and through it, he instructed his team to converge on the mark''s room and engage him all at once.


    The watcher coughed silently as the smell of cigarette smoke entered his nostrils. Somebody must''ve been smoking on the floor below.


    The three assassins began moving. The rooftop assassin climbed down the side of the building, aiming to enter the mark''s room through the window. The two others entered through the front and rear entrances, easily evading the sleepy receptionist.


    Soon, the three assassins were positioned just outside the mark''s room: one by the window, two by the door.


    At the watcher assassin''s signal, all three infiltrators burst into the room, blades gleaming. The mark startled and tried to stand up, but all three assassins reached him before he could. The first assassin stabbed both his poisoned daggers into the mark''s heart, the second slashed at his throat but failed to penetrate the skin, and the third threw a pouch at the mark''s face that burst into a poisonous cloud at impact.


    The assassins stepped back as the mark stumbled off his bed and began shouting in pain. It would soon wake up the tenants of the hotel, but the assassins could not leave yet. They had to make sure the mark died.


    But instead of succumbing to the poison, the mark pulled the daggers out of his chest and charged at the assassins with a furious roar. All three assassins easily dodged and struck as they went, inflicting more wounds on the mark''s body.


    But the wounds were superficial, and they closed quickly thanks to the mark''s regeneration. He continued chasing the assassins across the room, too slow to keep up with their speed. But the assassins didn''t remain advantageous for long.


    The mark lunged for one of the assassins, who easily dodged. But as soon as the assassin was midair, the mark threw the poisoned dagger and hit his target right in the chest. The assassin fell with a cry, and the mark didn''t let the chance go to waste. He rushed at the fallen assassin and, using his bare hands, literally folded the man at the waist in the wrong direction.


    The two others tried to help their comrade, but the watcher assassin had seen enough. He sent the signal for retreat, and without hesitation, the two assassins left their teammate behind to die.


    Soon, the two assassins met back up with the watcher on the neighboring rooftop. With a gesture, the watcher gave the command to return to base. But just before they could leave, a figure emerged from the shadows.


    Warner exhaled smoke from his mouth as he dropped his cigarette on the ground and smothered it with his boot. ¡°Going somewhere?¡±


    ?????


    My night was pretty much ruined when some asshole in a ninja costume broke into my room and tried to kill me. It was easy enough to take out the bastard since I''d taken Camille''s warning to heart and kept myself wary of an assassination attempt. What I didn''t expect was for three more of the cocksuckers to break in after the first one. They were fast and danced around me like I was some clumsy fool, and it was only due to blind luck that I managed to hit the last fucker with his own dagger.


    And the poison. Damn their fucking poison. My body was resistant to it, but holy shit did it still hurt. The poison cloud made my lungs burn, and the poisoned daggers made it feel like liquid fire was flowing through my veins.


    On the bright side, I at least got something out of the shitty encounter. The experience, for one, pushed me to the next level.


    [You have slain an Umbral Assassin Lv. 28. Experience gained.]


    [You have slain an Umbral Assassin Lv. 26. Experience gained.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 21.]


    Aside from the level, I also earned another Skill without having to waste a Skill Choice.


    [Through sheer effort, you have learned the Skill ¡®Minor Poison Resistance Lv. 1.¡¯]


    Now that''s what I''m talking about. Leveling it up would be a pain and a half, but if I continued getting assassination attempts like this one, I''d level it to the max in no time.


    The benefits I earned from the fight didn''t simply stop at levels and Skills. I also gained valuable insight into my new Skill Masochist, and boy was it gonna be a game changer. When the assassins had poisoned me, the immense pain I felt gave me so much strength that I felt like a literal god. It was so exhilarating that I, uh, got creative with my last kill. Folding someone to death was not something I was proud of.


    It just sucked that I had to be in a world of pain to reap the benefits. The power-up was massive, but I don''t see myself inflicting self-torture anytime soon.


    Now that the rewards I gained were out of the way, it was time for me to face the thing I was trying to avoid: what the heck was I gonna do with the bodies? I already tossed one out the window, thinking I''d just report it tomorrow morning. But then there was one more dead guy in my room and the fact that the fighting probably woke up the entire building. It was only a matter of time before¡ª


    There was a loud shriek at the ground level. I sighed. ¡°Dammit.¡±

 Chapter 21

    I entered the City Hall with a frown and in a grumpy mood. It was early in the morning, several hours after the incident at the hotel, and I didn''t get a single wink of sleep. Thanks to my Class Perk, I didn''t feel an ounce of physical fatigue, but my mental condition was a different matter.


    My mind was completely drained.


    And so it was with a tired mind that I went to the Governor''s Office. The guards there gave me a weird look when they saw my tired expression, but they didn''t bother asking me for my identity anymore. They just waved me in.


    Inside the office, Camille was already there reading reports, with Lance sitting by the desk. At my entry, the young man gave me a cheery smile as he greeted me. ¡°Good morning, Bob. Looking forward to the training?¡±


    ¡°Shut up for a moment,¡± I said as I dropped my ass on the other cushioned seat in front of the desk. ¡°There is nothing good at all with my morning.¡±


    Camille chuckled as she put down the report she was reading. ¡°I heard. How many assassins went for you?¡±


    ¡°There was a total of four. One of them struck first, and when I killed that asshole, three others attacked at the same time.¡±


    ¡°Someone tried to kill you last night?¡± Lance asked with wide eyes. ¡°Where did they ambush you?¡±


    ¡°In my room at the hotel I''m staying at. Pretty brazen of them to actually try to kill me there. A lot of rich asshats live there, which means the guards were close by. Then again, by the time the guards arrived, they were only there to clean up the bodies.¡±


    ¡°What were their Classes?¡± Camille asked.


    ¡°Umbral Assassins,¡± I said. I spotted a plate of pastries on the desk, and I reached for one. Camille pulled it away as she glared at me. I took my hand back. ¡°They were pretty fast but fragile. Their poisons were fucking annoying, though.¡±


    ¡°Umbral Assassins?!¡± Lance exclaimed. ¡°You''re lucky you''re still alive!¡±


    ¡°Hey, I fell from a mountain and lived to tell the tale. Some two-bit dudes in ninja costumes ain''t gonna kill me.¡±


    Camille gave me a weirded-out look when I said that. Then I remembered that she could discern lies. She must''ve thought I was joking. ¡°This is concerning. I already knew you were attacked, but I didn''t expect our enemy to hire the Shadow Guild right away. This does not bode well.¡±


    ¡°What''s the Shadow Guild?¡± I asked.


    ¡°A guild of assassins,¡± Camille answered as she ate a pastry. ¡°Obviously, they are not sanctioned by the Empire and are targeted for termination, but trying to find a group of people specializing in stealth is a difficult task. They offer their services for a very large sum that could bankrupt small merchants. It seems our enemy is hellbent on killing you, Bob.¡±


    ¡°No thanks to this Constable bullshit,¡± I grumbled. ¡°So what now?¡±


    ¡°Now? You train so you don''t end up a corpse in some dark alley,¡± Camille said as she finished off her pastries and began rummaging in her drawers.


    ¡°Neat, who''s gonna be my instructor?¡±


    Camille retrieved a book from her drawer and placed it on her desk. Then she smiled at me. ¡°Why, your instructor is gonna be me, of course.¡±


    I thought Camille was pulling my leg, but it turned out she was serious.


    ¡°That''s great!¡± Lance said as he turned to me. ¡°We''re classmates now!¡±


    ¡°Lance here is under my tutelage as well,¡± Camille explained. ¡°Make sure to get along.¡±


    I shrugged. ¡°Sure. So what''s the first lesson? Combat practice?¡±


    ¡°No. If you are to be my Constable, you will first learn to read and write. I will not have an illiterate man working for such a high government position.¡± Camille slid the book over to me. By the cute little pictures of animals on the cover, I realized it was a children''s book. ¡°And if we have the time, let us see if we can purge that crass, unrefined attitude out of you and replace it with proper decorum and manners. From now on, you are not allowed to curse. For every curse you utter, I will deduct five silvers from your pay.¡±


    I sighed. ¡°Dammit,¡± I muttered in a low volume.


    ¡°That''s five silvers gone.¡±


    ¡°You heard that?!¡±


    ¡°I suggest you start being careful with what you say, Constable,¡± Camille said. ¡°Now, let us start with your letters.¡±


    ?????


    From morning until noon, I studied the Arcadian alphabet. Fortunately, it mostly had the same mechanics as the English language, making it easier to learn.


    I initially thought Camille would be the one to teach me, but I should''ve known the Governor was too busy to waste her time teaching a grown man his letters. Instead, she had Lance teach me, who turned out to be fairly competent.If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    By the time lunchtime came around, I had a good grasp of the Arcadian alphabet and could read words competently enough. It still took me a long time to read each word, but hey, progress was progress.


    ¡°Eat your lunch quickly. After that, both of you proceed to the training hall,¡± Camille said as she stood up from her desk. ¡°From now on, your afternoons will consist of combat training.¡±


    That sounded way more fun than reading children''s books for several hours straight.


    ¡°Say, where do you hail from, Bob?¡± Lance asked as we lined up at the City Hall cafeteria.


    ¡°I''m from Earth.¡±


    ¡°That''s a very weird name for a country,¡± Lance said. ¡°No offense, but why would your country name itself after dirt?¡±


    ¡°Well, the land we stand on is dirt, isn''t it? What better way to name a place than the literal thing you live on? Maybe that was what my ancestors were thinking.¡±


    ¡°Fair point,¡± Lance admitted. ¡°I suppose it''s similar to the Boat Confederation.¡±


    ¡°What''s that?¡±


    ¡°It''s an official country located in the Aragas Ocean. It consists of thousands upon thousands of sea vessels constantly sailing the ocean, hence the name,¡± Lance replied. ¡°I assumed you knew about them since you seem to be from outside the continent. Crossing the ocean is usually done through the Boat Confederation.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, well, I got here through unusual means,¡± I said vaguely.


    We reached the end of the line, where we picked up a tray and a few plates while the workers behind the counter scooped our food buffet-style. Compared to Big Mama''s free gruel, the fare in the cafeteria was way better. There was buttered bread, a hunk of roasted monster meat, a side of vegetables, scrambled eggs, and a lot of other varieties. Of course, a big man such as myself required a lot of sustenance, so I took one of everything.


    ¡°Can you really eat all that?¡± Lance asked with a raised brow as he eyed the three trays that I carefully balanced on my arms.


    ¡°Where''d you think I get all that energy to fuel my regeneration?¡± I said. In truth, my Class Perk removed that disadvantage of regeneration, but Lance didn''t need to know that. I didn''t want to look like a glutton, even if I was one.


    As we reached the last server behind the counter handing out pies, a cute young lady with a bright smile on her face, I felt Lance stiffen beside me. ¡°Oh? What''s the matter, Lance? You fancy the lady?¡±


    ¡°Shut up!¡± Lance hissed. He moved away from the line, but it turned out he was too late. The young lady already saw him, and a look of recognition passed over her face.


    ¡°Lance?¡± the young lady said, and by the way her smile strained, I immediately understood that her relationship with Lance was probably of a complicated sort.


    ¡°H-Hi, Cassi,¡± Lance muttered as he returned to the queue.


    There was a very awkward silence as Lance and the girl named Cassi simply stood there, shifting on their feet. It was honestly painful to watch.


    ¡°Hey, if you ain''t gonna ask her for hand in marriage, can you get moving?¡± I said, bringing the two out of their awkward moment. ¡°I''m fucking hungry.¡±


    ¡°I-I, uh, I guess I''ll see you around,¡± Lance said as he rushed away.


    ¡°Sorry about that, sir,¡± Cassi said when it was my turn to get some pie.


    ¡°Whatever you''ve got going between you two, it ain''t my business,¡± I said, then paused. ¡°But if it helps, Lance is a good idiot. An idiot, but he''s good. He taught me how to read and write, you know?¡±


    Cassi gave me a wide-eyed stare as I said that, but I didn''t stay to hear her response. I was already walking to the table where Lance was sitting with a miserable look on his face.


    ¡°Nice lass, that one,¡± I said as I sat across Lance. ¡°So what''s the story?¡±


    ¡°Don''t bother, it''s a long one,¡± Lance grumbled as he attacked his food like it killed his mother.


    ¡°Well, I''m not finishing all this food in ten minutes,¡± I said as I organized my food according to the order I''d eat them.


    Lance sighed. ¡°Fine, but I''m not taking any judgement from you.¡±


    ¡°Hey, I never judge,¡± I said as I began digging into my food. ¡°Judging means I give a fuck about it. And I''m all out of fucks to give.¡±


    In actuality, I did judge people, though only in my mind. Life was not fun without a bit of a holier-than-thou attitude.


    Lance began narrating a story about how he met Cassi in his younger days, long before he became Camille''s student. Cassi was a baker''s daughter who managed her family''s bakery store, while Lance was an orphan who sidelined as a thief during the day, though he didn''t say it outright. He called it ¡®doing what he had to do to survive,¡¯ but a thief was a thief. He was still at that age where he tried to justify the shit he did as something else other than shit.


    Lance met Cassi for the first time when he was caught stealing from their bakery. Cassi''s father, who turned out to be a kind man, chose to ¡®punish¡¯ Lance by making him do errands every day in exchange for a meager pay of bread. Thanks to that, Lance was able to survive on his own.


    However, that didn''t last for long. The Church of Bahanelle, which was the city''s orphanage, learned of Lance''s location and took him with them just as the Governor was visiting the orphanage. Camille must''ve seen something in the boy because she adopted him as her legal son and gave him an education.


    Fast-forward a couple of years and Lance graduated from school. The couple''s love story started at that time, just last year when they decided to make their relationship official during some festival. However, their relationship didn''t last long as just about a month ago, Lance and Cassi broke up.


    ¡°So why did the two of you break up? Considering your history together, I''d have thought you''d hit it off with each other,¡± I asked as I finished off the last of the apple pie. It was the most delicious pie I''ve ever eaten, though that didn''t really mean anything since I never got to eat fancy foods in the past.


    Lance hesitated, but he still came out with it after a brief pause. ¡°Cassi and I, we don''t see eye-to-eye in some things in our relationship. We often fall into an argument and reconcile quickly after. But as time went on, the reconciliations turned more bitter until¡­ well, Cassi decided to call it quits.¡±


    ¡°Too bad, eh? I guess you just can''t force compatibility between couples,¡± I said as I began cleaning up our table. ¡°Not like I know much about couples. The only experience I have with women is when I became desperate enough to hire a prostitute. Expensive as fuck, but it was money well-spent.¡±


    Lance gave me a disgusted look. ¡°You hire prostitutes? It''s shameful for a man to participate in such activities.¡±


    ¡°That attitude right there. Now I see why Cassi broke up with you,¡± I said, eliciting an incredulous look from the man. ¡°I haven''t known you for long, but I could tell you''re the type of person with strong opinions you force on other people.¡±


    ¡°I am not!¡±


    ¡°Deny it all you want, kid, but you''re not fooling me,¡± I said as I stood up. ¡°A piece of advice. Everyone can do their own thing, and unless it harms someone, you have no right to tell other people what they should or shouldn''t do.¡±


    Lance looked like he wanted to keep arguing, but before he could, I walked away like a wiseass. ¡°Just think about what I said. See you later at the training hall.¡±


    With that, I left Lance behind to stew in his seat. I expected the young man to have a more objective outlook on himself when I saw him again at the training hall.


    What I didn''t expect was for Lance to not show up at all.

 Chapter 22

    Why a government building like the City Hall had a training hall was beyond me, but I had to say, they didn''t pull any punches when it came to building the facility. The training hall was like a massive gym complete with all sorts of equipment, though instead of treadmills and barbells, hundreds of assorted wooden weapons were lined up neatly in racks. With the size of the place, I''d have expected it to have dozens of people using it, but it was practically empty. Rings dedicated to sparring matches lined the other side of the room, and it was there I spotted Camille swinging a sword.


    But instead of the metal armor that she wore in her office, Camille was now dressed in a sleeveless shirt and tight-fitting pants that ensured ease of movement. I had to say, her outfit accentuated all the womanly curves that her metal armor hid.


    ¡°Didn''t realize you looked that good beneath your armor,¡± I said as I entered the sparring area where Camille was.


    The Governor gave me a single glance before returning to her sword forms. ¡°Are you hitting on me, Constable? Be informed, it is unprofessional for a government official to date a fellow government official.¡±


    ¡°You''re not saying no, though,¡± I said as I sat down on a bench, eliciting a small smile from the woman. ¡°But no, I''m not hitting on you. My life is already a mess, no point in making it worse by engaging in romance. I was just wondering why you keep wearing all that metal armor in your office, and my first theory was that you were hiding something on your body. But after seeing your form, I doubt you''re ashamed of it.¡±


    ¡°That is a stupid question. I wear my armor for its purpose: to protect me from harm. Why else did you think I wear plates of heavy armor for?¡±


    I shrugged. ¡°Maybe you just wanted to look awesome.¡±


    Camille shook her head as she finished her sword forms. ¡°The more important question is, where is Lance?¡±


    ¡°I left him behind at the cafeteria with something to think about,¡± I said.


    Camille raised an eyebrow at that. ¡°And what would that ¡®something¡¯ be that he would think it more important than attending his training?¡±


    ¡°Something about his ex-girlfriend,¡± I said, not willing to elaborate.


    ¡°I suppose love always blinds a man to everything else,¡± Camille said.


    ¡°See why I don''t want to pursue romance?¡±


    ¡°Only miserable people say that.¡±


    ¡°I guess I am one,¡± I said with a shrug. ¡°But does that mean you''re finding some boy to ensnare with your beauty, then?¡±


    Camille smirked. ¡°Not yet, but in time. I find romance tedious as well, but as a member of the Empire''s nobility, it is my duty to produce an heir. I am just too busy with managing my city at the moment.¡±


    ¡°Nobility? Like, dukes and stuff?¡± I wasn''t exactly knowledgeable about that kind of stuff. I just heard it sometimes from the youngsters on Earth when they talked about TV shows and pop culture.


    Camille stared at me like I just grew a second head. ¡°Did your parents drop you when you were a child?¡±


    ¡°Whoa, how did you know?¡±


    Camille closed her eyes briefly before opening them again. ¡°It''s a good thing you now know how to read and write, it should make your ignorance easier to fix. I shall be revising your training schedule from now on. Instead of studying in the morning and combat training for the entire afternoon, you will be having general education lessons for four hours in the morning, etiquette lessons for four hours in the afternoon, then two hours of combat training in the evening.¡±


    ¡°Whoa whoa, do I get paid overtime?¡±


    Camille glared at me, but I didn''t back down. We''re talking about two extra hours of overtime here. ¡°Fine, you shall be receiving overtime pay. But you better take all this seriously, or I''ll dock your pay.¡±


    ¡°Crystal clear.¡±


    ¡°Now get up. We begin our training now.¡± Camille instructed me to stand in front of her, about three meters away. ¡°I will take a measure of your current combat strength first by sparring, then we will do what we can to fix your flaws.¡±


    ¡°Sounds good to me. Should I go get a wooden sword or something?¡±


    Camille considered for a moment. ¡°No. Warner told me about your healing prowess and I would like to see it for myself, so we shall be using real weapons. Do not worry about me. I doubt you could hit me tonight.¡±


    ¡°We''ll see about that,¡± I said.


    ¡°Before we start, I suggest you take off your uniform first,¡± Camille said. ¡°You wouldn''t want to dirty it.¡±


    That was actually a solid reminder. Even if I was getting these uniforms for free, it''d be a massive waste if I got them shredded every day.


    I took off my uniform, but I had to leave my pants on. I was currently having a wardrobe shortage, and I kind of forgot to buy myself some underwear. I was going commando right now.The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    With my muscled torso bare to the world, I stood in front of Camille with my steel axe. ¡°What are the rules?¡±


    ¡°We keep fighting until I say stop,¡± Camille said as she drew her sword. It was a beautiful piece of work that shone like platinum, about a meter-and-a-half long. The sword was double-edged, and based on the length of the handle, it was supposed to be held by two hands, but Camille gripped it with one hand like a boss. She placed her other hand behind her back. ¡°Don''t hold back. Ready?¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡± The moment I gave my affirmative, Camille was suddenly in front of me, her sword stabbing into my stomach and sprouting out my back.


    When the fuck did she even move?!


    Before I could respond to her attack, she pulled her sword out and kicked my chest, sending me flying with a cracked sternum. I slammed against the wall and fell to the ground.


    ¡°You are slow,¡± Camille said from where she stood.


    ¡°You''re just stupidly fast, you fu¡ª¡±


    I hurriedly clamped my mouth shut. I almost forgot that swearing in Camille''s presence would result in a pay deduction.


    I stood up slowly, wiping the blood that dripped from my mouth. By the time I was standing again, my stab wound was already closing and my ribcage was healing.


    ¡°Impressive,¡± Camille said as she witnessed my healing. ¡°Does your regeneration cost mana?¡±


    ¡°Nah, I could do this all day,¡± I said with a grin.


    Camille gave me a bigger grin. ¡°How fun.¡±


    I charged at her, my axe gripped in two hands as I looked for any opening. To be honest, I didn''t even have any idea what an ¡®opening¡¯ in combat looked like, so as soon as she got within my striking range, I just swung for the fences.


    I almost looked ridiculously slow as my axe whooshed through the air with a heavy sound. But Camille easily dodged it with a bored face and a step back, and as soon as my axe missed, she darted forward and stabbed me in the torso ten fucking times in less than two damn seconds.


    ¡°That hurt, you bi¡ª¡±


    I almost did swear at that moment, but Camille saved me from myself by slitting my throat with a clean slash. Her blade cut through my neck easily even even though I was reinforcing it with Hard as Fuck. How powerful was this woman to easily ignore my sheer physical resistance and defensive Skill?


    ¡°No swearing,¡± Camille said with a smile as she fell back to watch her handiwork.


    I glared at her as I waited for my body to heal. My blood was already coating the stone floor, and my head was a bit woozy from the blood loss. I activated my Blood Bag Skill to replenish my lost blood, and my body suddenly felt warm as my mana turned into blood.


    You know, now that I was thinking about it, wasn''t my Blood Bag Skill redundant? My regeneration naturally replaced my blood as I healed. I only chose Blood Bag because Lance told me it''d be lucrative, and money was always my end goal.


    Now that I had a high-paying job, though¡­


    Dammit, I shouldn''t have listened to my greed back then. Add the fact that I had been too excited about my first Class Skill, and that resulted in me making an impulsive decision. Next time, I probably shouldn''t make a Skill Choice while I had adrenaline pumping in my veins.


    As soon as my wounds were quickly healed, I charged back in with no regard for defense. Camille cut me up again and again, her blade slashing through my flesh easily like a hot knife through butter as I tried my best to hit her with my axe, but the bitch was too damn fast.


    But that didn''t really matter. I already knew that I would never reach her in a million years, so I decided to lean on my advantage: my infinite regeneration and stamina.


    For the next five minutes, I kept charging at Camille like a raging bull, suffering slice after slice from her sword without relenting a bit. She had seen through my plan early on, and she responded by increasing the rate of her attacks. Dozens of sword cuts would ravage my body in the span of a few seconds whenever she came into range, and I would ward her away with my axe, giving me scant few seconds to heal back up. She tried cutting off my limb once, but then her sword got lodged in my bone for a brief moment, and I was this close to chopping off her hand. She didn''t try it again.


    [Physical Resistance has leveled up to Lv.4]


    When Camille finally realized that I was not being fatigued at all, she put a stop to the spar. ¡°I will admit, your regeneration is quite impressive.¡±


    ¡°You really had to test it, didn''t you?¡± I said as I held my severed ear to my head and waited for it to reattach.


    ¡°I had to see it for myself. Warner''s report of your performance in the smuggler raid had been honestly outlandish,¡± Camille said as she wiped her sword clean. Her weapon was the only thing on her person stained by my blood, while the rest of her was ridiculously clean. Even the entire ring was splattered with my blood.


    ¡°So what did you glean from our spar?¡± I asked.


    ¡°That you are completely incompetent in combat,¡± Camille said with a hint of disbelief in her voice. ¡°For a man with such a powerful regeneration Skill, I expected you to be a decent combatant. If I knew you were this incompetent, I would not have sent you to the raid on the smuggler''s base. The only thing you''ve done in the entire spar was to swing your axe like a madman and hope for the best.¡±


    I shrugged. ¡°That sums up pretty much everything I do in life.¡±


    Even though my ¡®Champion of Carnage¡¯ Accolade said it significantly improved my combat proficiency, it didn''t seem to do much. Maybe because I had no formal training at all? It did say it improved my combat proficiency, which was almost non-existent outside of my experience with brawling. A million multiplied by zero is still zero, I suppose.


    ¡°And you have been extremely lucky so far,¡± she said with an irritated look. ¡°Your sheer strength and regeneration have been enough to deal with your enemies so far, but you will never stand a chance against a well-trained warrior. And don''t think that you can rely on your regeneration forever, because there are hundreds of ways to counter that.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, well, I never aimed to fight strong people anyway. After this Constable gig, I''m going back to being an ordinary laborer at the Laborer''s Guild,¡± I said.


    ¡°I highly doubt that things will go as you see it, but that is irrelevant to your current situation. You are a Constable right now, and so you shall know how to properly fight,¡± Camille said as she instructed me to pick up my axe. ¡°Are you certain that you wish to use an axe as your weapon of choice?¡±


    I considered for a moment. The tool I was most familiar with was a sledgehammer given that I had a lot of experience knocking down walls in my past life, but an axe was similar enough to it that I was confident I could wield it well enough. Plus, an axe seemed more capable of dishing out damage: it had the weight of a sledgehammer and the sharpness of a blade. Two for the price of one.


    ¡°Yeah, I''ll be using an axe as my main weapon.¡±


    ¡°I am not familiar with the intricacies of wielding an axe, but I know enough to get you started,¡± Camille said. ¡°The first thing you shall learn are the basic forms.¡±


    Camille proceeded to show me the best ways to chop a poor bastard. I learned it quickly thanks to my Champion of Carnage Accolade which ¡®significantly improves combat proficiency and battle intuition¡¯, and soon enough, Camille nodded at me. ¡°At least you learn quickly. Now, I want you to perform each form perfectly at least a hundred times. If you make a single mistake, you will start over.¡±


    I sighed. This was gonna be a long afternoon.

 Chapter 23

    We transferred to a different sparring ring that wasn''t covered in my blood, and the next two hours were spent swinging my heavy steel axe repeatedly. Camille stood to the side, calling out every mistake I made, even the tiniest ones. My footing, my stance, my center of gravity, heck, even my line of sight while swinging were scrutinized. For the entire first hour, I never got past five swings before Camille found something to bitch about and started the count all over again.


    But as annoying as it was, it wasn''t all that bad. Thanks to my Class, I never tired one bit, so I just kept on swinging and swinging, following Camille''s directions until finally, something happened.


    [Through sheer effort, you have learned the Skill ¡®Axe Mastery Lv. 1.¡¯]


    My swings were suddenly guided by a weird instinct inside me, correcting any errors I made and making my swings faster and more efficient. It felt like a pair of hands were holding onto my arms and telling me how to swing properly.


    Soon after I gained the Skill, I breezed through Camille''s demand of one hundred perfect swings for every basic form she taught me. Goddamn, Skills were something else.


    ¡°I presume you gained the appropriate Skill?¡± Camille asked once I made the last proper swing.


    ¡°Yeah, I got Axe Mastery. I didn''t know it changed things that much.¡±


    ¡°Indeed, Mastery Skills are the most important components in any warrior''s arsenal, even more so than levels,¡± Camille said. ¡°From now on, you should focus on improving your Axe Mastery above all else since it shall serve as the foundation of your combat style. Prioritize it over leveling.¡±


    ¡°Can''t I just gain levels and train it at the same time during real fights?¡± I asked.


    ¡°What level are you now?¡± Camille asked me out of the blue.


    I checked my Status.


    [Status]


    Name: Bob Dinkle


    Age: 35 years


    Level: 21


    Race: Human


    Class: Stubborn Bastard


    Class Perk: Stubborn as a Roach


    [Languages]


    Arcadian


    [Passive Skills]


    Regeneration Lv. 3 - Increases the rate of natural healing.


    Unarmed Mastery Lv. 2 - Provides a boost to proficiency in unarmed combat and enhances the damage of unarmed attacks


    Physical Resistance Lv. 4 - Reduces all physical damage taken


    Masochist Lv. 1 - You gain strength proportional to the level of pain you endure.


    Minor Poison Resistance Lv. 1 - Slightly reduces effects of poison.


    Axe Mastery Lv. 1 - Provides a boost to proficiency in wielding axes.


    [Active Skills]


    Hard as Fuck Lv. 2 - You can harden specific parts of your body, massively increasing their physical resilience. Mana cost: Low


    Blood Bag Lv. 1 - Convert mana into blood inside your body. Mana cost: Moderate.


    [Traits]


    Divine Body - Your body has been constructed by a god. Your body recovers faster and is resistant to ailments.


    [Accolades]


    Champion of Carnage - The God of Battle and Carnage has chosen you as his Champion. Combat proficiency and battle intuition are significantly improved.


    Dauntless - You have fought with no fear or regard for death. You are now immune to magically-induced fear.


    ¡°I''m twenty-one.¡±


    ¡°You are a level twenty-one warrior with a level one Axe Mastery. You are sorely behind what is normal for people at your level,¡± Camille said. ¡°The norm is for you to have upgraded your Mastery Skill to the next tier before your Class evolves, because then, leveling your Skills becomes far more difficult.¡±


    I think I''m missing a bit of context here.


    ¡°Let''s pretend I didn''t go to school,¡± I said.This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it


    ¡°I''m already there,¡± Camille said flatly.


    ¡°What do you mean by upgrading Skills to the next tier? And what''s this about evolving Classes?¡±


    Camille gave me a stare of disbelief. ¡°You''re not lying. You seriously don''t know. Did you grow up under a rock?¡±


    ¡°Hey, enough with making fun of the village idiot. Just answer me.¡±


    ¡°Skills come in tiers. Everyone gets a Skill at the first tier, and when it reaches level 10, it upgrades into the next tier as a more powerful version,¡± Camille answered. From what I remember, that was what happened with my regeneration and physical resistance Skills. The ¡®minor¡¯ in their names was removed as they got upgraded.


    ¡°For Class Evolutions, it occurs at certain levels, specifically at 25, 50, and 75. When you reach those levels, your Class undergoes a qualitative change that gives you a massive boost in power,¡± Camille continued. ¡°But that doesn''t mean you should rush a Class Evolution. The opposite is true: you must strive to upgrade all your Skills to the second tier before evolving your Class because all experience you receive after that is reduced.¡±


    ¡°Does that mean I''m fuc¡ª I mean, did I mess up big time?¡±


    ¡°I don''t know what you mean by ¡®big time,¡¯ but no, you do not have to worry. You can hold off your Class Evolution at level 24, but all experience you acquire while holding off is negated.¡±


    Well, that doesn''t sound too bad after all. I could take all the time in the world to grind my Skills to the next tier. It''s not like I''m in a rush anyway.


    Before I could ask more questions, Camille held up a hand. ¡°That is enough for now. We will discuss everything else tomorrow during our morning lessons. For now, we consolidate everything you learned and apply it to live combat,¡± Camille said as she drew her sword and stood in front of me. ¡°Get ready.¡±


    Before I could even lift my axe back up, her sword was already slashing through my flesh.


    ?????


    By the time I got back to my hotel room, my mind was tired as fuck. Not only did Camille carve me up real good until the ring was completely drenched with my blood, but she also made me clean up everything. That bitch.


    But as much as I hated her right now, I had to admit, she was outright terrifying and competent. I foolishly thought at first that her sword was probably the reason why she could cut me up so easily. When I said that, Camille picked up a wooden sword and fucking sliced my torso open with it just as easily as her steel sword! I knew there was some Skill bullshit going on there, but damn, that shut me up.


    The training was torture, but my bad mood disappeared right away when I re-read the notifications that came in as I underwent Camille''s grueling training.


    [Regeneration has leveled up to Lv.4]


    [Unarmed Mastery has leveled up to Lv.3]


    [Physical Resistance has leveled up to Lv.5]


    [Masochist has leveled up to Lv.2]


    [Axe Mastery has leveled up to Lv.3]


    [Hard as Fuck has leveled up to Lv.3]


    [Blood Bag has leveled up to Lv.2]


    That was a lot of Skill level-ups. Axe Mastery even leveled up twice! With all this improvement, I could almost say that all that pain had been worth it.


    Almost. I don''t think it''d be worth it if I went insane from all the pain I endured from Camille''s training. What was worth it though was seeing her face when I finally got to land a hit on her.


    It happened near the end of our training schedule, when several hours of sparring already went by and I had been cut so many times I was already fighting naked with my pants shredded. Camille was crazy strong, and her stamina was off the charts, what with being able to keep up with me for so long. But she wasn''t tireless like me.


    Camille slashed for my neck right as I was hardening my torso and left hand with my Class Skill, which had been level 2 back then and thus could only harden two body parts at a time. She already knew that I could only harden two body parts at a time just from her observation skill alone, but what she didn''t account for was my Skill leveling up mid-battle and allowing me to now harden three body parts at a time. From what I''ve seen from her, she would''ve considered that possibility, but her fatigue must''ve been building up and caused her to miss that fact.


    As soon as I got the notification, I immediately hardened my neck, and Camille''s slash, which she always performed with the exact minimum amount of force necessary to be efficient, got lodged in my flesh for a fraction of a second.


    That small window gave me the chance to sock her right in the face, and with my strength buffed to a crazy level thanks to my Masochist Skill, she flew from my punch and slammed into the wall hard.


    The normal response would''ve been me checking if she was alright. But c''mon, the bitch was cutting me up for several hours straight and I was annoyed as fuck. So I laughed loud and hard and with all my being, and I might have asked her ¡®Was that all you''ve got?!¡¯


    I shouldn''t have.


    Let''s just say that Camille extended the training session a bit to get her revenge. I wonder if people knew that she could cut things with her sight alone? Bitch didn''t even move a muscle. She just glared at me, and all of a sudden, Little Bobby plopped on the floor.


    Yeah, that was¡­ I don''t want to talk about it.


    At the very least, the dick-chopping woman had the basic decency to apologize for lopping off my hotdog like that. And looking on the bright side of things, I at least learned that I could regenerate a brand new dick. I could''ve just stuck on the old Little Bobby on and waited for it to heal, but I was worried that it may not heal with the proper alignment.


    As for what I did with the chopped Little Bobby¡­ let''s just hope nobody picks the trash for food around here.


    As soon as I got back to my hotel room, I checked over the stuff I left behind to see if I had been robbed. The pouch of money I hid inside the mattress was safe, and the satchel that I left on the bedside table was still there. Everything was in place.


    Except for the sealed envelope sitting smack dab in the middle of my bed. I was pretty sure it wasn''t there when I left my room this morning.


    I suppose the normal response to this situation would be to open the envelope and read whatever message it had in store for me. But that was just playing right in the hands of the smartass who thought he was being clever by leaving behind the letter in my room while I was out. If that bastard thought they could manipulate me like some puppetmaster from the shadows, they''re gonna have to face me directly.


    At this point, I was pretty sure that I was under surveillance by the bastards who sent the assassins after me. I peeked outside my window to look for any suspicious individuals, but the only suspicious dude I saw was my own reflection in the glass.


    Damn, I needed to comb my hair or something. I looked like a bandit.


    Despite not spotting anybody suspicious outside, I was confident that I was being watched. I wouldn''t be surprised if there were Skills that let people watch me from ten kilometers away.


    I preferred being watched, anyway. That way, they could see how I lit a candle and burned their little envelope into ashes. If they wanted to tell me something, they''d have to say it to my face.


    They must''ve been reading my thoughts, because no sooner had the envelope burned fully into ashes when somebody knocked on the door.


    ¡°Room service!¡± a voice called out from outside.


    Oh, right. I requested the receptionist downstairs to have dinner brought to my room. I was starving.


    I answered the door, where the valet who brought me the food was standing. Except he had no food, and the valet was wearing a black hooded cloak.


    The valet stabbed me in the heart.


    I don''t think he was a valet.

 Chapter 24

    The moment I felt the blade pierce my heart, I grabbed the assassin''s arm with both hands and tried to snap it. But instead of the crisp crack of breaking bone, the arm bent like a rubber band. It was so goofy that I got distracted for a fraction of a second.


    The assassin brought up his other arm, which was as wobbly and bendy as the one I was gripping, and whipped my neck. The blade at the tip of the arm lodged itself in my skin, but not that deeply, thanks to Hard as Fuck. However, the familiar sensation of poison began spreading from the wound site.


    ¡°Youuu sshhaalll diieeee!¡± the assassin hissed, and to my horror, several more appendages emerged from his cloak. I realized that they weren''t arms and those weren''t blades. They were tentacles tipped with sharp claws.


    ¡°Holy fuck!¡±


    Empowered by my pain, I kicked the tentacle assassin in its center mass, sending it flying through the door of the opposite hotel room and pulling out the claw stuck in my heart. I hoped the room in front of mine was vacant.


    I ran back into my room to retrieve my axe. As I bent down to pick it up from the floor, I stumbled as an intense wave of dizziness passed by. Was that the poison?


    Then I realized that my heart was still ravaged. The wound in my chest was healing, but extremely slowly. The damn poison was messing with my regeneration. The sole Skill that I had been depending on this entire time to keep me alive was failing.


    ¡°Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.¡±


    The wave of dizziness wasn''t from the poison, but from the lack of blood reaching my brain. My heart was not pumping blood anymore.


    [Minor Poison Resistance has leveled up to Lv.2]


    The world slowed around me as my adrenaline-addled brain rushed to think of a way to survive. I was running out of time. I was gonna die from oxygen deprivation in the next few seconds, and if not from that, then from the tentacled assassin shuffling into the room.


    Then I found it. Thank fuck for Lance''s advice.


    I activated my Blood Bag Skill and gave it as much mana as I could. I felt the Skill activate on overdrive, and pain suddenly exploded all over my body. Blood spurted out of my chest wound like a pressurized hose, and I could feel the blood vessels in my eyeballs burst. Then I realized that most of the blood vessels inside my body were probably bursting due to the increased pressure. Fuck.


    Well, at least that solved the problem of my blood not reaching my brain, even though said brain''s blood vessels had probably ruptured from the sudden blood pressure.


    I reckoned I had a few seconds to kill the tentacled asshole before I lost consciousness from my injuries, so I exploded into motion. The strength I was getting due to the immense pain was massive, and I felt like a god as I pushed off the ground and lunged toward the tentacled assassin with my axe raised.


    The assassin whipped five clawed tentacles at me. Three of them barely punctured my skin, but the remaining two managed to slash at my arms deeply, creating deep wounds that gushed out blood like a faucet because of my constant use of Blood Bag.


    [Minor Poison Resistance has leveled up to Lv.3]


    I reached the assassin, and with a mighty double-handed overhead swing, I chopped the motherfucker right down the middle, bisecting its calamari ass into two halves. The axe continued in its path and slammed into the ground with a powerful impact, introducing a crater on the wooden floor. Green, sticky blood splattered everywhere as the assassin hissed and died.


    [You have slain an Umbral Alchemist Lv. 35. Experience gained.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 22.]


    Some of the assassin''s blood splattered on me, and my skin hissed and fucking melted as it came into contact. I hurriedly wiped it off on the pillows, which proceeded to blacken upon contact with the green ichor.


    Fucking nasty thing.


    I stood still in the room, waiting for any follow-up. The last time they tried an assassination, they sent more than one. How many were they gonna send this time?


    [Minor Poison Resistance has leveled up to Lv.4]


    As I waited for the next shit to hit the fan, my body slowly broke down the poison inside me. The unhealed wounds all over my body also acted as a bloodletting procedure, allowing my poisoned blood to gush out and new blood to come in through Blood Bag.


    [Blood Bag has leveled up to Lv.3]


    Soon, my wounds started regenerating once again and my heart got back to pumping. I finally deactivated Blood Bag. Just in time too, because I was feeling a weird sort of fatigue that I attributed to mana loss. I tried not to think what would have happened if I ran out of mana mid-battle and failed to replace my poisoned blood.This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.


    Several more minutes passed, and just as I thought there was nobody else coming, I heard footsteps in the hallway. I readied my axe.


    A head peeked around the doorway. It was the valet that I gave a tip to on my first day staying here. His face was etched with fear. ¡°M-Mister Bob? Are you alright?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I''m fine. Can''t say the same for my guest over here,¡± I said as I prodded one of the tentacles on the floor.


    The valet gave out a sigh of relief. ¡°I''m glad the letter I left on your bed helped. I knew something was fishy when somebody booked a room and requested it to be right beside yours. That''s why I left a letter on your bed to warn you.¡±


    Godfucking dammit.


    ¡°Yeah, that helped me quite a lot,¡± I said as I retrieved my money pouch. ¡°Here. Take this for your troubles.¡±


    I handed the wide-eyed kid my entire money pouch. I had no idea how much it had left, but there had to be a few gold left in there.


    The valet''s eyes bulged. ¡°Sir! This is too much!¡±


    ¡°Shut up and take it, kid. That''s not purely out of the goodness of my heart,¡± I said. ¡°That''s compensation. You shouldn''t have tried to warn me at all. Now the assassins might have a grudge against you as well for helping me. I suggest you take that money and go hide far away from here.¡±


    The young man paled as he realized the consequences of his actions. ¡°Oh no.¡±


    I felt somewhat bad for the kid''s predicament, so I decided to go a little further. ¡°You know what? I''ll get the Governor to give you a job that should keep you safe until all this shit is dealt with.¡±


    The valet nodded numbly as he walked away. I was about to stop him and ask where my food was, but even I wasn''t that insensitive. The boy was probably regretting trying to help me. It''s best he doesn''t learn that I burned his letter. That would be awkward.


    With no one to bring me dinner, I guess I''ll just eat outside while I bring the assassin''s corpse to the City Guard.


    ?????


    After that nasty tentacle business last night, the first thing I did when I entered the Governor''s office was confront Camille about the matter. ¡°What the fuck, man?¡±


    Camille raised an eyebrow at me. ¡°I told you to curb your cursing behavior, did I not? That is five silvers deducted from your pay.¡±


    ¡°I couldn''t give a single shit about that at the moment,¡± I spat, and that''s when Camille realized I wasn''t kidding around. I really was fucking angry. ¡°Can we have another run over our contract? Didn''t we agree that in exchange for my service, which has been fucking exemplary so far in my opinion, you would keep the damn assassins away from me? I may be stupid, but even my pitiful brain could remember that I entered this job because of the threat of assassins. But guess what? Two days in and I''ve had two assassinations already, and I don''t see you doing anything about it. So I ask you again, what the fuck?!¡±


    The office was silent for a brief moment as Camille and I stared at each other. Then the silence was suddenly broken when the two guards outside rushed in, their weapons leveled at me.


    ¡°Stop,¡± Camille said before the guards ran me through. I almost wished they had, because I was honestly raring for a fight right now. ¡°Leave us. My Constable here was just venting some anger.¡±


    The guards left without another word.


    ¡°Before you continue your one-sided tirade,¡± Camille said. ¡°Can you please tell me what happened as to why you barge into my office and disrespect me as such?¡±


    ¡°Another assassin paid me a visit last night is what happened, woman,¡± I said. ¡°Guy with a bunch of tentacles tipped with claws. He used poison that inhibited my regeneration, and if things went differently, I would have been fuckin'' dead.¡±


    ¡°But you are not,¡± Camille said. ¡°What did you expect when you took this job, Constable? That I would hold your hand the entire way and watch over you as you slept? Our contract stated that I would give you support, and did I not give you support through the training that you are being paid for? In no way have I mentioned absolute protection from our enemies, and before you continue hounding me about it, I am doing something about the assassins. Did you think I would simply let murderers stomp around my city like this is their playground?¡±


    I frowned as I listened to the Governor''s words. She had a good point. Our contract didn''t specifically say that she''d protect me from would-be assassins. But did she even bother to do anything to help me survive these assassination attempts? With how much she wanted me to become Constable, you''d think she''d try her best to keep me alive. She didn''t even bother to offer me a more secure housing that would keep the assassins away. Instead, she just let me stay in that hotel that everyone''s mothers could infiltrate easily to kick Bob''s ass.


    Hold on.


    ¡°You fucking manipulative bitch,¡± I said as it dawned on me. ¡°You''re using me as bait, aren''t you? To lure out the fucking assassins.¡±


    Camille raised an eyebrow at me. ¡°That is a grave accusation to make, Constable.¡±


    ¡°Save me the bullshit,¡± I spat. ¡°I''ve seen better swindlers than you, you damn snake. And if you insist on denying it, then why don''t I march on down to where that Mern dude is and ask the man who paid him to offer me such a shitty contract at the Laborer''s Guild, huh? So shitty I had to refuse him, and it just so happened that the Guildmaster suddenly offered me compensation for it, which was a job to work for the Governor who Big Mama said was known for being so strict with vetting her staff. Me, a stranger with an unknown background, offered a position that held tremendous power that was beholden only to the Governor.¡±


    Camille''s expression was blank and cold. ¡°And? What is your point?¡±


    I unstrapped my axe from my back and held it in one hand. ¡°You had no plan to keep me in this position for long. You''re setting me up to be the fall guy. A convenient pawn to earn the ire of the enemy and discard once my purpose is done. Imprisoning your own nephew must''ve been a dick move, and so you needed someone to shield you from the wrath of your relatives. And who other than the man who beat up the damn nephew to serve that role? So you had Mern give me a shitty contract so I''d refuse and have the Laborer Guildmaster entice me with the Constable position, and when that didn''t work out, you had guards waiting just outside the damn guild waiting for me.¡±


    The room was silent for the next few seconds. Only the ticking of a nearby clock could be heard, and as the seconds went by, I reflected on my course of action. Dammit, this is like the Puck situation again. Why did I have to confront Camille? I could''ve just walked away.


    But could I have really just walked away? Ma always told me to face my problems like a real man should: head-on and with conviction. To be honest, her advice didn''t always work out so well and landed me in a bad spot many times. But what else am I gonna remember her by other than her teachings? The least I could do for the woman who raised me right was to live by her values.


    Camille sighed, which I took as her finally dropping the act. My grip on my axe tightened. I might have to fight my way out of here.


    Just then, the silence was broken by slow clapping to the side. When I looked at the source, Warner was there, leaning on the wall. He continued clapping as he watched me. ¡°Always surprises me when you end up being smarter than you look.¡±

 Chapter 25

    I was sure Warner wasn''t there when I entered the office. And yet there he was, leaning against the wall without a care in the world.


    ¡°Sneaky motherfucker,¡± I muttered as I gripped my axe with both hands. I was already poised to run away. ¡°Let me guess, you''ve been watching me all this time like a stalker?¡±


    ¡°Sure did,¡± Warner admitted right away. ¡°Watching you in your hotel room was painful. Why the hell would you brush your teeth but not your tongue? You nasty bastard.¡±


    ¡°Well, fuck you. I just got lazy.¡±


    Camille cleared her throat as she leveled a glare at Warner. ¡°Will you please just clear the misunderstanding, agent? It seems this game of pretending is proving useless.¡±


    Warner shrugged as he turned to me. ¡°While your deduction was good, it was only half-right. We did pay Mern to give you a bad contract to convince you to work for us, but not as a patsy. Did you really think the Governor would waste her valuable time and money to train you just to let you die?¡±


    ¡°Then why the hell did you just let random assassins come after my ass the past two nights?¡±


    ¡°We have been keeping an eye on you,¡± Camille said. ¡°The first night, you said four assassins came after you, correct? It was actually five. When you fought them off, Warner took care of the stragglers.¡±


    I looked at the old man, who looked like he couldn''t give two shits about what was being discussed. ¡°You were there? Why the fuck didn''t you help me?¡±


    ¡°To train you,¡± Camille answered before Warner could. ¡°Same as last night. Warner was there to watch over you, but if we coddled you from all threats, you would stay weak. So I gave him explicit orders to only intervene when you are about to die.¡±


    I scoffed. ¡°Well now, that just sounds like a damn convenient excuse. Why don''t I go ahead and start beating people up at Guild Plaza, eh? I''ll say I''m just training the city''s response against threats.¡±


    ¡°Then you''ll find our threat response to be excellent,¡± Camille said with a fierce look in her eyes. ¡°I suggest you keep such threats to yourself, Constable. I understand that you are frustrated, but I do not condone any threat to my citizens, empty they may be. Now, you have two choices: believe my word and we can continue with your training, or I nullify the contract and you are free to do as you please but without my assistance against Carmen''s assassins. Your call.¡±


    I sighed as I strapped my axe to my back. As much as Camille told me that it was my choice, everybody in the room knew I only had one choice to make. ¡°Fine, I''ll believe your ¡®I''ll protect my citizens no matter what¡¯ hogwash for now.¡±


    Camille looked very offended by my words. ¡°You dare insult my dedication to my citizens?¡±


    ¡°Hell yeah, I do,¡± I said as I sat down on the chair by her desk. ¡°In your bid to use me as bait to lure out the assassins, you willingly risked the lives of the people staying in that hotel. Heck, one of the valets is now mixed up in this hot mess after he tried to warn me of the assassination attempt. I don''t know about you, but I have a hunch that the poor lad is gonna find his throat slit the next time he wakes up.¡±


    Camille frowned. ¡°We have measures in place to keep the populace safe from the repercussions of our operations. However, this is the first time I have heard of the valet you mentioned. Warner.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, yeah,¡± Warner said with a sigh as he left the office.


    ¡°I appreciate your concern over my citizens. For this, I will not be deducting your pay for all the curses you''ve uttered since you entered my office,¡± Camille said before giving me a stern gaze. ¡°Now, can we consider this matter closed?¡±


    ¡°One last thing. I want to know the progress made in bringing this Carmen down. When do we raid his mansion?¡±


    ¡°That information is on a need-to-know basis. Unless you can defend your mind from being read by enemy psions, you are not cleared to know any sensitive intel. Do not worry, I guarantee that Carmen will be brought to justice, all you have to do is remain patient.¡±


    Fuck, there were mind readers here? The last thing I needed was being outed as a Champion of a maniac god. I needed to find a way to protect my mind ASAP. I wonder if they sold tin foil hats around here?


    ¡°Is there anything else?¡± Camille asked, and I could tell she was at the end of her patience.


    ¡°Nah, I''m good. I''m glad we could clear up all misunderstandings between us,¡± I lied, and Camille knew it, but I didn''t care. In truth, my trust in the woman was now at an all-time low. Not like I trusted her to begin with, but now, I told myself to be extra careful around her. Conniving types like her disliked having their plans exposed, and their reactions could be unpredictable.


    I''ll have to make my own preparations in case this woman ends up throwing me under the bus.


    After that brief little drama, Camille showed no signs of frustration with the recent events and began our scheduled training, which started with General Education.


    As Skorm the Fucker said just before he dropped me on a frozen mountain, this world was called Morhaven, named after an ancient civilization called the Mor who turned the place into their haven or some such. It was a big world, so big that nobody had completely explored the entire planet yet, and not for the lack of trying. Every inch of the planet teemed with monsters, it turned out.This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    The city of Shieldhold that Camille ruled was inside the territory of the North Eries Province, which was governed by some Lord. In turn, North Eries was one of twelve Provinces that composed the Empire of Arcadia, and this Empire was located in the western region of the Azara continent.


    To give me a better picture of the Empire''s geography, she showed me a map of Arcadia. The Empire was a mishmash of the twelve Provinces with their borders clearly delineated, and North Eries was located right at the northernmost point of the Empire. Above North Eries was a massive mountain range called the Frost Mountains where Skorm presumably dropped me.


    According to Camille, the Provinces of the Empire were ranked based on their overall power, and North Eries was ranked seventh. The first in rank was the Crown Province where the Imperial Capital was located.


    After giving me the basics of the Empire''s geography, Camille started discussing the power dynamics of the Empire, which she said was the most important topic for a government official like me.


    Unlike the ones I heard of back on Earth, the Emperor was not the top dog in the country. Instead, the highest authority in the land was split between the Emperor and the General Assembly. The Emperor had executive powers, while the General Assembly held legislative and judiciary powers. This power dynamic kept each other in check to avoid the abuse of power, although the General Assembly seemed to have more power than the Emperor himself.


    Under those two powers were the Provincial Lords who directly ruled their territories. They held absolute power within their lands, but they still answered to the General Assembly.


    Lastly, under the Provincial Lords were the Governors who managed their Lords'' lands. Camille herself was one of many Governors who worked for the Lord of North Eries, and her job was to oversee Shieldhold and make sure no nasty monster crawled down the Frost Mountains to terrorize Imperial lands.


    ¡°So how do you get appointed as a Governor?¡± I asked. ¡°Do people vote you to the position?¡±


    ¡°Good question,¡± Camille said. ¡°Arcadia is a mix of democracy and aristocracy. For high government positions such as the Emperor and the General Assembly, people are voted into power. But anything to do with the Noble Houses and their territory is hereditary. Provincial Lords and Governors are positions held by us nobles since before the formation of the Empire, and not even the central government can change that.¡±


    That confused me a bit. ¡°Wait, the government is different from the nobles?¡±


    ¡°That is correct. When I say ¡®government,¡¯ I refer to the entity that is Arcadia and all its constituents. Nobles, on the other hand, are the elite of society and, more often than not, the people who run the government.¡±


    I had a bit of a hard time understanding it, but I think I could view the nobles as the oligarchs of Earth. Officially, they were normal citizens beholden to the rule of the government. In actuality, they had enough money and power to make the government obey their wishes like their personal dog.


    This place was quite similar to Earth''s society, I see.


    While we were on the topic of government and nobility, Camille also mentioned the current political climate existing in the Empire. The Emperor was nearing the end of his ten-year term, and once he was out of the throne, the General Assembly would convene to vote for a new Emperor based on a candidate''s achievements and capability. Thus, the major Houses were clamoring to develop their candidates as much as possible to increase their chances of winning.


    I thought it was a useless tidbit of information given that it wasn''t related to my job, but it turns out it had a very large impact.


    ¡°When the Emperor is about to step down, the Noble Houses of Arcadia will do everything in their power to increase their candidate''s chances of winning the next election,¡± Camille said. ¡°We call this the Campaigning Season, and during this time, relationships between Houses become volatile. Any excuse for an inter-House conflict is taken advantage of to reignite old feuds, which gives nobles opportunities to gain power, resources, and prestige. There is still a year left to the current Emperor''s term, but we should expect hostile activity from outside actors soon.¡±


    ¡°What kind of ¡®hostile activity¡¯ are we talking about here?¡±


    ¡°Kidnappings, sabotage, raids disguised as bandit attacks, plagues, and others. There are many possibilities, and it is up to our enemies'' creativity on how they are going to act,¡± Camille said.


    Wow, I didn''t know election campaigns in this world were this extreme. When Camille said inter-House conflict, I expected sensitive scandals being aired out in public to destroy their enemies'' reputations, not fucking massacres on the citizenry. These nobles were fucking barbaric. Camille was a noble too, but I''m starting to think she was one of the more decent ones.


    Camille went on to discuss other political terms and shenanigans that mostly flew over my head. A lot of names were thrown out, mostly the nobles who I should be wary of, but to be honest, I didn''t care too much about remembering it. After this Constable stint, I planned to disappear from the radar, so I''m not gonna bother memorizing the names of people I''d never meet.


    What caught my interest was Camille''s summary regarding the Empire''s neighbors. In short, Arcadia was an expansionist asshole, and nearly everybody around our great nation was an enemy. Camille attributed it to the short term of each Emperor, which pushed them to acquire as many achievements and glory in their short rule as possible to immortalize themselves in the Empire''s history.


    As a result, Arcadia was constantly in a state of war. Right now, the country was battling against some kingdom down south, but Camille said that could easily change as soon as a new Emperor was throned. The current war would be shelved and put on hold, and then the new Emperor would choose to wage another war that would benefit his House the most.


    These Arcadians were a bunch of colonizing assholes, huh?


    ¡°Isn''t it stupid to make so many enemies at the same time?¡± I asked. ¡°What''s stopping our enemies from simply forming a coalition and crushing our ass?¡±


    ¡°Just like our enemies, the Empire is not as united as you think,¡± Camille answered. ¡°Take the current war in the south, for instance. Officially, Arcadia is at war against the Gray Republic. In truth, only the Mydith Province is waging war against them, the rest of the Lords couldn''t care less. But if our enemies united, that would prompt the Provincial Lords to unite as well, and a united Arcadia is a scary thing to behold. Hence, our enemies are wise enough not to poke the hornet''s nest.¡±


    That was the weirdest power balance I''ve ever heard, because it didn''t sound balanced at all. If the surrounding nations remained scared of uniting, doesn''t that mean that Arcadia would eventually subjugate them one by one until it was too late?


    Before I could ask more about it, Camille was already proceeding to the next topic, which sounded way more interesting than politics. ¡°Now, let us move on to the System.¡±

 Chapter 26

    ¡°The System is the higher power that governs everything that has to do with levels and Status sheets,¡± Camille began. ¡°Not much is known about its history or how it came to be, but what we do know is that its presence is absolute among all civilized species. Monsters do not have levels, though they have other ways to accrue power over their lives.¡±


    ¡°How about goblins, though? They look sapient, but they didn''t have levels when I killed them,¡± I said.


    ¡°Goblins are sapient, but they do not qualify as a ¡®civilized¡¯ species. Nobody knows the System''s criteria for a civilized species, but scholars theorize that the goblins'' feral instincts are to blame. They may have their own society and language, but goblins are slaves to their beastly nature.¡±


    Sounds about right. The damn fuckers tried to gut me the moment I met them, even when I tried diplomacy. Bloodthirsty bastards.


    ¡°There are many facets to the System, as well as unique interactions depending on circumstances and the species of the person. But we''ll only focus on the vital information to save time,¡± Camille said. ¡°I will assume that you''ve had no formal education, so I will go over the basics. If you are already knowledgeable about it, just say it.¡±


    She began with the fundamentals: levels. Everybody had levels, and it was representative of a person''s power. Obviously, the higher the level, the more power an individual has. But this power was not limited to physical strength.


    According to Camille, the benefits gained from leveling up depended on what a person did to obtain that level. For instance, a buff guy like me who always did physical activity like crushing skulls and ripping out monster tongues would naturally develop a more robust body as I leveled up from killing. But for people like scholars, who constantly studied and pored over books, their level-ups would instead improve their mental capacities.


    And that was one more important thing: level-ups didn''t simply come from killing things. Activities that developed a person in any way gave experience, hence why I gained experience from getting my first job as a Constable.


    However, there were exceptions to the rule, and that brought us to the topic of Classes.


    ¡°Classes have a heavy influence on how a person gains experience,¡± Camille explained. ¡°A warrior would gain more experience from fighting than tailoring clothes, and the opposite is true for tailors. In rare cases, a Class may have a condition where the individual can only level up from doing a particular activity and receive no experience from anything else, though that is usually limited to the more esoteric Classes.¡±


    Huh, I wonder what the specifics of my Class were. So far, I gained most of my experience from killing stuff, and the only other instance I gained experience out of combat was from getting my first job. Does that mean I wasn''t limited to simply leveling up from combat? That was good news, then.


    ¡°Classes are gained at level 10, and then they evolve at levels 25, 50, and 75,¡± Camille continued. ¡°People who reach level 25 are called Elites, those at 50 are Masters, and at 75, they are called Lords.¡±


    ¡°How about level 100? What do you call them?¡± I asked.


    ¡°They are called Demigods, though that term is rarely mentioned,¡± Camille replied. ¡°The last time somebody reached level 100 is mentioned only in the oldest historical records, and their veracity is dubious.¡±


    Demigods, eh? If there are Demigods, then doesn''t that mean they could become Gods by leveling up some more? I was willing to bet my left nut that Skorm the Fucker reached his godhood by killing everybody he saw.


    ¡°How about you? What level are you?¡± I asked.


    ¡°It is taboo to ask a person''s level,¡± Camille chided, though she didn''t seem too offended. ¡°The most you could ask a person regarding their levels is their Class tier. In my case, I am in the Master-tier.¡±


    My eyebrows raised at that. No wonder she could slice me so easily in our spars. And to think that I barged into her office earlier ready to throw down. I swear my stupidity is gonna be the end of me one of these days.


    Now that I think about it, every assassin that came my way had been Elites. No wonder they could stab me so easily despite my Class supposedly being a durable one, and I bet they had specialized Skills that made their attacks pierce through defenses easily. The only time they failed to penetrate my defenses was when I used Hard as Fuck.Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    Dammit, I should''ve picked that Class Skill that reduced the damage of any attack I didn''t know about. Blood Bag was fucking trash. Then again, it did save me from the assassination last night by helping me flush out the toxins from my blood bloodstream regen-inhibiting poison almost ended me.


    Camille continued with her discussion. ¡°Aside from Class Evolutions, another noteworthy piece of information is the power of a Class. The System does not indicate the power of a Class when you are presented with the choices, but make no mistake, Classes are not created equal. Some are more powerful than others, hence why a proper deliberation is advised when an individual reaches their Class selection. Some delay choosing their Classes in hopes of unlocking a more powerful one, while some even go the lengths of changing their Classes at a World Crystal if they unlock a powerful one, though changing Classes is usually ill-advised.¡±


    I recalled my Class selection process. I chose my Class right after fighting a massive bear to the death with my guts hanging out and adrenaline racing through my body. It was probably the worst time to make a decision that would permanently decide how my life would go, but I did so. Heck, it didn''t even take me more than five minutes.


    Did that make me stupid? Yes. Yes it did. If Ma was here, she''d be whacking me over the head right now. Well, doesn''t matter, my Class was awesome anyway.


    ¡°Why is it not recommended to change Classes? I asked. ¡°What if I unlocked a much more powerful Class choice that outshined my current one?¡±


    ¡°It depends. Everything has to do with how Class Skills are acquired,¡± Camille answered. ¡°Remember how you can only get Class Skills every five levels? That means you can only acquire a limited number of Class Skills in your lifetime, and the consensus is that specialization is the best way to become powerful. In theory, you can only get 19 Class Skills if you reach level 100, and obviously, that number will be lower in reality. The best case scenario is if all your Skills belong to the same Class to ensure that they synergize with each other. However, if you change your Class, it is uncertain whether your new Class Skills would synergize with your old ones. Take note, synergizing Skills are almost always the best way to obtain power because they provide much more value than a simple sum of their parts. So unless a truly powerful Class that outshines your own by a large margin comes along, changing your Class is ill-advised.¡±


    That was a valuable piece of information. If I didn''t learn about it, I had a hunch that my stupid future self would willingly change his Class for something that sounded badass, like Eradicator or World Destroyer or some shit like that.


    As for the topic of Skills, Camille repeated what she already told me yesterday, where Skills had tiers that could be upgraded every time they were leveled up ten times. She also told me the same thing that Lance did, where I should always choose Class Skills over General Skills at every opportunity.


    Finally, Camille arrived at the last aspect of the Status sheet. ¡°Lastly, we have the Accolades. This refers to any deed you have committed that the Gods deem worthy of their recognition. They are notoriously difficult to obtain as the Gods are not easily pleased, but the perks they give are always worth the effort to get them. Only the truly powerful and special have Accolades, so if you meet one visiting my city, make sure you are on your best behavior.¡±


    I was almost tempted to tell Camille that I had two Accolades and that she should start behaving respectfully to me from now on, but I wasn''t suicidal. She might go ahead and chop my head off for good if she learns that I''m a Champion of the God of Carnage.


    Camille went on to discuss other general knowledge in the Empire, and when lunchtime finally came around, I was on the verge of losing to my drowsiness. The boredom of listening to a lecture for several hours straight was gruesome, and only the fact that my time was being paid kept me awake.


    ¡°That should wrap up our General Education lessons for today,¡± Camille finally said. ¡°Before you have your lunch, we''re going to have a quiz. Get a sheet of paper and a pen. If you fail, the only food you are allowed to eat is Big Mama''s cooking.¡±


    ¡°What?! You fu¡ª¡±


    The unfairness of it all was astounding, and as motivated as I was to pass the quiz just to avoid eating Big Mama''s cooking, Camille didn''t show mercy. She asked questions about topics that she knew I wasn''t listening in, and by the end, a City Hall staff entered the office carrying a tray of food.


    ¡°Delivery from Big Mama, Governor,¡± the staff said as he placed a huge bowl of dull white gruel, black bread that looked harder than a rock, a generous serving of assorted fried mystery meat, and a pitcher of an unknown green liquid. Before withdrawing, the staff gave me a look of pity.


    ¡°This is workplace harassment!¡± I shouted as the hot gruel bubbled menacingly.


    ¡°This is part of your training,¡± Camille said with a small smile. ¡°Next time, make sure to listen to my lessons well. No Constable of mine will be known as a buffoon.¡±


    With that, Camille left me alone in the office. Damn slave driver.


    I tried a spoonful of Big Mama''s gruel, and just like last time, it was salty as hell. If not for my regeneration, I''d start worrying about my kidneys. The fried mystery meat was a new one, though, so I tried it eagerly in hopes of removing the salty taste from the gruel.


    It turned out the fried mystery meat was even worse. The meat itself tasted extremely pungent and reminiscent of vegetables just about to spoil, and if not for the fried batter taking off some of the vile taste, I would''ve started throwing up.


    ¡°I swear I''m gonna have my revenge on that bitch someday,¡± I muttered to myself as I resolved myself to finish the food.

 Chapter 27

    After the excruciating torture that was lunchtime, Camille returned and immediately began our Etiquette lessons. It was even more boring than the General Education lessons. She drilled into me the proper speech to use in various situations, how I should act in public while in uniform, and the professionalism I should embody when working as the Constable.


    In short, Camille wanted me to become the image of the ideal and perfect Constable. She had a lot of work cut out for her.


    ¡°What do you do when you spot a serial killer walking amongst the people in a crowded public area?¡± Camille asked.


    ¡°Take out my axe and slice the motherfu¡ª the killer in half.¡±


    Camille closed her eyes as she massaged her temples for the fourth time. ¡°No, you do not brutally kill criminals in full view of the public unless the situation is dire or if the mission demands it. If possible, always try to capture the criminal and bring them back to the Guard Barracks for proper processing. The public''s perception of you is important, and it will do you no good if they see you as a mindless brute who kills at the behest of the Governor. Next question. You are investigating a noble''s domicile due to suspicion of illegal activity and you find definitive evidence of his crimes. How do you arrest the guilty noble?¡±


    ¡°Bag the man''s head and tie his hands so he couldn''t draw weapons or cast some magical shenanigans.¡±


    ¡°No. You only do that when the noble in question actively resists arrest. When they surrender willingly, you escort the noble in a carriage without binding them and bring them to the Guard Barracks for holding, and you file the necessary paperwork for a noble''s arrest.¡±


    I found it funny how a noble still gets such lenient treatment even during an arrest while everybody else gets the blunt end of the law''s hammer. To be fair, there wasn''t much difference with Earth''s society.


    The Etiquette lessons went on for four hours, during which my mind was crammed full of information about how to interact properly with people of varying stations. In short, I had to grovel and kiss the asses of people above my rank while people below me had to be given cordial respect. As for criminals, Camille gave me permission to act like my normal, ¡®stupid¡¯ self, which I liked, but she didn''t have to add stupid.


    When the Etiquette lessons were finally done, Camille and I proceeded to the training hall where we saw Lance, hard at work training his spear thrusts. The young man was always serious, but when I saw him again for the first time after our conversation at the cafeteria, I noticed the hardened determination on his face.


    This was the first time I had a good look at Lance''s fighting style, and with one glimpse through my inexperienced eyes, I could instantly tell that Lance''s mastery of the spear was leagues beyond my meager Axe Mastery. Instead of the dirty and unrefined way I handled the axe, Lance looked like he was dancing with the spear as his partner. Both man and weapon moved with a unified purpose, allowing each thrust to flow smoothly and transition to the next.


    Camille and I stopped a fair distance away to not interrupt Lance''s training. She had a small smile on her face as she watched. ¡°Impressive, is he not? I was lucky when I found such an unpolished diamond in the rough.¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Remind me to stay in the kid''s good graces.¡±


    It was honestly disturbing to see such a young man be so proficient in the art of combat. I knew that this world was harsher than Earth and necessitated the presence of powerful warriors capable of slaying the nasty monsters lurking in the wilds, but Lance couldn''t have been older than sixteen. He was practically a child soldier, trained from a young age to become the strong warrior he was now.


    We didn''t watch for long. Camille approached the ring where Lance was training. ¡°The last thing I expected from my diligent student was to skip classes yesterday.¡±


    Lance''s footing went off as he heard Camille''s voice. He turned to us with a sheepish expression. ¡°Oh, teacher. I, uh, I''m sorry for skipping classes yesterday without informing you. Something, um, came up.¡±


    Lance did his best to avoid my gaze. Asshole that I was, I piped in. ¡°How''s the situation with your girl? You made up with each other yet?¡±


    Lance glared at me as Camille raised an eyebrow. ¡°Oh? This is the first time I have heard of this. Who is this ¡®girl¡¯ that caught my student''s heart?¡±


    Knowing Camille''s information network, I did not believe her in the slightest.


    ¡°No one! There''s, uh, there''s nothing between us!¡±


    ¡°More like there''s nothing anymore,¡± I said, and Lance gave me a murderous gaze. ¡°Alright, alright, I''ll stop. Did my advice help, at least?¡±


    Lance looked reluctant to respond, but he still did. ¡°Yeah. I apologized to her. There''s no more bad blood between us, though I wouldn''t say we''re back to our former relationship. But I''m fixing it.¡±


    ¡°You still haven''t answered my question, my dear student,¡± Camille said menacingly. ¡°Who is the girl?¡±


    ¡°It''s a girl named Cassi,¡± Lance reluctantly answered.


    ¡°Oh? The old baker''s daughter?¡± Camille asked with a smile.This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    Lance looked surprised. ¡°You know her, teacher?¡±


    ¡°I know everyone who works for me. Little Cassi is a sweet one, and I just might punish anyone who tries to break the poor girl''s heart.¡±


    ¡°I-I said I''m working on it!¡± Lance said with panic. I could sympathize. Camille was a damn sadist when it came to training.


    Camille nodded. ¡°Good. See to it that you do. Now, enough chitchat and back to training. Bob, I want that Axe Mastery of yours to level up today. You will not leave this training hall until that happens.¡±


    A bummer, but that works for me anyway. I don''t think I want to return to my hotel room anytime soon. I don''t want to find out the next surprise that the assassins had in store for me.


    Over the next two hours, Camille trained us hard. She would call out the name of the basic axe forms quickly, and I had to execute it perfectly and on time or else her blade would stab me in the heart. Not lethal for me, but painful as fuck.


    Lance had it hard, too. He was instructed to stand behind me and stab Camille without hitting me, all while I performed my axe forms. Every time he hit me, be it through his fault or my own, Camille would grace Lance with a tiny cut on his flesh through her gaze alone. Seems harmless enough. That is until we were an hour into our training routine and Lance was sporting dozens of those tiny cuts all over his body that must have stung like hell.


    In the final hour of our hellish training, Camille increased the stakes. She would call out axe forms faster than I could execute them, and the punishment of a simple stab to the heart turned into a deep slice to my body that ravaged my innards. To make matters worse, Camille didn''t wait for me to recover when I failed an axe form. She would continue calling out axe forms, expecting me to continue performing perfectly despite my grievous wounds. It came to a point when my entire body was ravaged with slashes and my regeneration had difficulty keeping up. I could even see my intestines peeking out. It didn''t help that Lance was also stabbing into my back repeatedly due to my erratic movements caused by pain and injury.


    Despite my predicament, Lance had it worse than me in my opinion. With the hundreds of small cuts now adorning his body, Camille switched his punishment. She retrieved a lemon from somewhere on her body, then she summoned magical ethereal blades that floated in the air like ghosts. They glowed scarlet like her hair.


    She sliced the lemon and squeezed it all over the ethereal blades, then sent them to cut up Lance with shallow wounds every time he made a mistake. As soon as it started, the poor man behind me began howling with pain.


    Damn, this bitch was sadistic as fuck. Creative, though, I''ll give her that.


    The two hours of training felt like an eternity, and when it did finally finish, Lance instantly collapsed to the ground from exhaustion and pain. His face was a mess of blood, tears, and snot.


    I was in better condition than the kid. As soon as the training finished, the deep cuts all over my body began healing rapidly, though my eyeballs were gonna take a longer time to regenerate. At the very least, Camille didn''t target Little Bobby this time.


    The training was a nightmare, but the gains made it worth it.


    [Regeneration has leveled up to Lv.5]


    [Physical Resitance has leveled up to Lv.6]


    [Masochist has leveled up to Lv.3]


    [Axe Mastery has leveled up to Lv.4]


    [Hard as Fuck has leveled up to Lv.4]


    [Due to your harsh training, you have gained experience.]


    That was a lot of Skill level-ups, but what caught my attention the most was the last message. I got experience from today''s training, but not from yesterday''s. There was also the specific word ¡®harsh¡¯ put in there, which likely meant that for me to gain experience from training alone, it had to be as hardcore as today''s. And even then, I had a feeling the experience I gained was a paltry sum compared to what I get when killing monsters and people.


    I shared my thoughts with Camille, who confirmed my suspicions. ¡°Indeed, training gives very little experience in general. But make no mistake, that is the normal path to power. Not everybody can survive being burned alive and having their heart destroyed, Bob, so most people reach the levels they have now through dedicated training. It also comes with the advantage of one''s Skills being high-leveled by the time their Class evolves.¡±


    I suppose she had a good point there. I''m only three levels away from my Class Evolution, yet only two out of my eight Skills were at the second tier. I hoped I''d have the time to train them all to the second tier before I reached level 25, but considering my luck, I doubt that would happen. A man could dream, I suppose.


    With the training done, Camille allowed Lance to go home, but she told me to stay for a moment. ¡°I would have a word with you, Constable.¡±


    As soon as she said that, Warner was suddenly seated on the bench. I startled. ¡°Can you stop doing that?¡±


    ¡°If you want to stop being surprised, then start training your senses,¡± the old man said before turning to Camille. ¡°So, we gonna let this oaf in on the plan?¡±


    ¡°Not like we have much choice,¡± Camille answered. ¡°He is already aware of our actions behind the curtains, might as well put him to good use.¡±


    ¡°Rude to say that out loud in my face.¡±


    Camille ignored my words as she turned back to me. ¡°You are indeed correct that we were using you to bait the assassins out of the woodwork, and thank the Gods that it worked because we now have a possible lead of their hideout. Warner, give me your report.¡±


    ¡°I just got back from the diviners. The murdering buggers were difficult to track,¡± Warner muttered as he lit a cigarette while ignoring Camille''s disapproving stare. ¡°True to their reputation, they are masters of stealth and infiltration. The five assassins that went for Bob on their first attempt were completely trackless. No records, no paper trail, no nothing. I even had their blood analyzed by diviners, but they had protections in place to keep them invisible to divination. Now, protection measures from divination are time-intensive, and given that they tried to kill Bob a mere day after your nephew was sent to jail, they were probably special operatives Carmen already had in reserve, ready for emergency deployment like Bob''s assassination.¡±


    ¡°I agree,¡± Camille said. ¡°It makes me uncomfortable that Carmen had been funding an elite group of assassins all this time, but I suppose I should have expected that of him.¡±


    ¡°This next bit of intel is more concerning,¡± Warner said. ¡°On their second assassination attempt, they messed up. The tenklos they sent has a footprint in the city.¡±


    ¡°Tenklos?¡± I asked.


    ¡°The tentacled bastard that poisoned you,¡± Warner replied. ¡°The nasty things could concoct a variety of poisons inside their bodies depending on the situation, which they inject into their target through their claws. Anyway, the tenklos was not as careful as it thought. It was seen early yesterday morning in the city baths where it stayed for several hours. It probably didn''t like staying out of its natural habitat for too long. Thanks to that, I managed to scrape a sample of its slime off the stone where it bathed and gave it to the diviners.¡±


    Camille leaned closer with a predatory look in her eyes. ¡°And? What did they find?¡±


    Warner turned grim. ¡°Carmen is hiding an entire Shadow Guild Enclave underneath his mansion.¡±

 Chapter 28

    ¡°That stupid cur!¡±


    It was one thing to witness Camille cut something with her mere gaze, but to see her fury manifest into tangible scarlet blades that launched all over the training hall as she shouted was an entirely different matter. The scarlet blades flew faster than my eyes could track them, leaving deep furrows on the concrete floor and walls where they struck.


    Camille began pacing back and forth with a scary look on her face, and even Warner knew not to disturb her.


    ¡°What''s a Shadow Guild Enclave?¡± I asked Warner.


    ¡°You know how the city has branches of various Guilds at Guild Plaza? You don''t see a Shadow Guild Branch there, do you? That''s because no one wants to sanction a Guild of murderers-for-hire. So what the Shadow Guild does is establish a hidden branch. Invisible from the public eye, yet known to the real players who could afford their services. We call those hidden branches Enclaves, and I''m sure I don''t have to tell you why a base of deadly assassins-for-hire is bad for the city, do I?¡±


    ¡°Oh I know, I got to experience their services first-hand,¡± I said. ¡°But why is Camille looking that flustered? Couldn''t she just march a large army into Carmen''s mansion and arrest him for harboring an Enclave?¡±


    ¡°That is the reason why our precious Governor lost her calm. A mess like this necessitates the mobilization of the entire City Guard, and an operation like that attracts unwanted attention to our city,¡± Warner said. ¡°Campaign Season is coming, and outside agents would swarm like sharks when they hear of our predicament. Hells, they might even sponsor the Shadow Guild Enclave to sow chaos in Shieldhold.¡±


    Right, there was the Campaign Season. Who knew Camille''s lessons would be applicable to my job this early on?


    Soon enough, Camille got ahold of herself once more. ¡°Warner, how much do you know about the Enclave beneath Carmen''s mansion?¡±


    ¡°Not much. The Enclave detected our divinations quickly and set up measures. The only thing our diviners managed to get was their location and layout,¡± Warner replied. ¡°The Enclave itself is built right below your uncle''s mansion. So far, only two possible infiltration points were located: through the mansion itself or the sewers. After our divination, security in the mansion has more than doubled. My men spotted more than two mercenary groups guarding the place, all of them Elites, though we suspect that Carmen is hiding a Master-tier combatant in that fortress of his. The sewers, on the other hand, are booby-trapped down to the last piece of brick. Disarming all that would be impossible in a reasonable time frame, especially while being attacked by the damn assassins guarding the tunnels.¡±


    ¡°So nothing short of an army is capable of sieging the place,¡± Camille muttered to herself with frustration. ¡°Raiding the place should be our last option. We cannot afford to conduct a massive operation in the middle of the city. Carmen would raise hell if he caught a single whiff of a plot to forcibly oust him.¡±


    Warner shrugged. ¡°What do you propose then, lass?¡±


    ¡°We will have to force them to emerge from their nest,¡± Camille said. ¡°We will strike Carmen''s illegal business interests in the city, force him to deploy his precious assassins, and kill them one by one. Once we weaken his forces, then we give him an ultimatum to surrender.¡±


    ¡°You know your uncle. He''s not a man to willingly surrender no matter how much the odds are stacked against him,¡± Warner said. ¡°Even if you destroy his entire criminal empire in the city, he will not capitulate. He''s as unyielding as your father.¡±


    Camille gave the old man a cold gaze. ¡°Do not compare that filth of a human being to my father.¡±


    Despite Camille''s threatening stare, Warner was unperturbed. ¡°I''m not gonna bother sparing your feelings, lass. It''s true, and if you want to crack the unyielding wall that is your uncle, you''re gonna need a better card to play.¡±


    Camille smiled. ¡°I do have the best card to play against him. I have his son. Which do you think Carmen values more, his position of power or his son''s life?¡±


    The training hall went quiet as Warner and I stared at the woman. Was she seriously considering killing her nephew to get at her uncle?


    ¡°You don''t want to go down that path, lass,¡± Warner said carefully.


    ¡°And why not? Carmen has shown time and time again over the years that he would stoop to the lowest level just to get what he wants,¡± Camille said, her voice starting to get heated. ¡°Or did you forget how he killed my fianc¨¦ when I refused to give him the seat of Governor when Father died? Why should I stick to morals when our enemy has none? You have been with me all these years, and you''ve seen what happens when we fight this battle sticking to the rules while our enemy is allowed to act with impunity. We only stand to lose ground, and I''ve had enough. The path I am about to go down is dark, but it is one where we win.¡±


    Warner shook his head with a sigh. ¡°And what do you constitute as a win?¡±


    ¡°A future where Carmen''s entire bloodline is dead,¡± Camille said coldly. ¡°You and I both know that their whole branch of the family deserves to die. They''ve been a thorn in Shieldhold''s side for long enough.¡±


    ¡°Not all of Carmen''s family is guilty of his crimes, Camille,¡± Warner responded more seriously. ¡°Will you kill their infant daughter too?¡±This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    Camille stared the old man straight in the eyes. ¡°If I have to.¡±


    The training hall was silent as the two stared at each other, all while I stood awkwardly to the side wishing to be someplace else. It felt just like the time when my two bosses had a disagreement at the site while we workers watched on, wondering which asshole would have his way.


    In this case, Warner backed down with a long sigh. ¡°Then do what you want. Just know that when the time finally comes, I will not raise a weapon against those who don''t deserve it, so you''ll have to do it yourself.¡±


    ¡°I will have it no other way,¡± Camille said resolutely, but I could see the hesitation in her eyes. And if I could, there''s no doubt Warner did as well, but the old man said nothing.


    ¡°Then my old bones are yours to command,¡± Warner said. ¡°What''s our next move, Governor?¡±


    ¡°We will begin raiding Carmen''s illegal assets in the city. Since our goal is to draw out his assassins and whittle down his strength, we will do this over an extended period. Given that you know of Carmen''s operations the best, which do you think is the best one to hit first, Warner?¡±


    ¡°Since you want to lure out his assassins, the best place to hit first would be his most lucrative and illegal asset,¡± Warner said. ¡°The Siren''s Call, the largest high-end brothel in the red-light district frequented by rich clientele. On the surface, they operate just like any other brothel, but for the more valuable patrons, we recently learned that they can avail ¡®special services¡¯ from slave children.¡±


    ¡°Then that will be our first target,¡± Camille said before turning to me. ¡°Since our goal here is to lure out the assassins, you will be at the forefront of the raid, Constable.¡±


    ¡°Normally, I''d offer a complaint or two. But since we''re going against pedophiles, I''m all too happy to lead the charge,¡± I said. ¡°So, how do we do this raid?¡±


    Camille explained the plan, and though I bristled at the huge risks I''d be going through for this mission, I found myself looking forward to it. God knows I have no mercy for child abusers.


    ¡°We will conduct the operation tomorrow night during the brothel''s peak hours,¡± Camille said as she concluded the planning session. ¡°Since Warner will be busy with the reconnaissance of the brothel, you are not allowed to leave the City Hall until the mission starts, Bob. I don''t have men to spare to keep watch over you.¡±


    It was funny how Warner turned out to have been watching over me all this time, yet I felt none of that ¡®protection¡¯ at all. I bet the old bastard was just too lazy to give a lending hand when I was busy getting my ass handed over to me by assassins.


    With our planning session done, Camille bid us farewell and left the training hall, leaving me alone with Warner. I was about to leave too, but the old man stopped me.


    ¡°Bob,¡± Warner called out. ¡°Come here for a second.¡±


    ¡°Dammit, you better not ask me for anything that goes against Camille''s orders,¡± I said right from the outset. ¡°I know you have your differences, but leave me out of it.¡±


    ¡°I''m not going to ask you to turn traitor, you big oaf. All I''m asking is for you to remember that your job here is just contractual. You are not sworn to Camille''s service.¡±


    ¡°And? What''s that got to do with anything?¡±


    ¡°I don''t like the path that Camille chose,¡± Warner said with tired eyes. ¡°There may come a time when she will ask you to do something unreasonable. When that happens, I want you to remember that the repercussions for a breach of contract are relatively light depending on the stipulations. A fine, maybe imprisonment for a month or two.¡±


    ¡°You mean if she asks me to kill Carmen''s children?¡± I asked. ¡°You don''t have to worry about that, old man. I may be an asshole, but I don''t condone killing children.¡±


    ¡°Good, good. I suppose the only one left to worry about is the kid.¡±


    ¡°Lance? I''m sure he won''t follow orders to kill children.¡±


    ¡°Then you don''t know him well,¡± Warner said as he started walking away. ¡°His loyalty to Camille is that of a dog. He will do anything to please his master.¡±


    With those ominous last words, Warner left me alone.


    ¡°Dammit,¡± I muttered as I looked at the blood-soaked ring where we trained. ¡°They really left me behind to clean up all this shit, didn''t they?¡±


    Given that the training hall was going to be my living space for the foreseeable future, I began the dirty task of cleaning up all the blood and bits of organs I left behind. Huh, now that I thought about it, couldn''t I sell my organs in the black market to make a tidy profit? Now that right there is a very good business prospect.


    As I made half-baked plans about my future organ-selling enterprise, I went to the City Hall''s maintenance facilities to get a mop and a bucket. What''s interesting about this world''s cleaning implements is their magically enchanted equipment. The mops were self-sterilizing, and the buckets had an automated vortex feature that functionally made it a miniature washing machine. It made cleaning a thousand times more convenient and a million times more enjoyable.


    As I walked the employee-only area of the City Hall, I was jumped by a little girl carrying cleaning equipment herself. Seriously, I would never get used to this world''s treatment of children. The kid looked barely ten years old and she was already working her ass off.


    ¡°Mishter Hero! Mishter Hero, it''sh me!¡± the girl exclaimed as she dropped her stuff and ran up to hug my leg. ¡°Do you remember me? You shaved me!¡±


    If not for her distinctive lisp, I wouldn''t have recognized the little girl. No longer was she a dirty little runt wearing torn rags with tear stains running down her cheeks. The child before me was now clean, with long brown hair, fair skin, and a cute grin. She looked severely malnourished, but aside from that, she seemed to be doing good.


    ¡°I don''t remember shaving no midget,¡± I said as I picked the girl up and placed her atop my shoulders. She giggled crazily. ¡°What in the hells are you even doing here, kid?¡±


    ¡°Mish Camille gave ush easy jobs!¡± the girl replied happily. ¡°Mish Camille ish sho shweet and kind! She inshishted that I resht, but I don''t wanna lie in bed all day. Do you work for her too, Mishter Hero?¡±


    ¡°First off, my name''s Bob. Second, yeah, Camille''s my boss. Now what''s your name, you little rascal? So I could report you for being lazy on the job.¡±


    ¡°Liar! Besshi ish never lazy! I''ll tell Mish Camille that you dishturbed me from my job, Mishter Hero.¡±


    ¡°Now who''s the liar now, eh?¡± I picked up Bessi''s cleaning supplies, which simply consisted of a bunch of rags and a feather duster, and continued on my way to the maintenance room with the little girl on my shoulders. She didn''t complain. ¡°So why are you working here? Don''t you have parents looking for you?¡±


    ¡°My parentsh are gone,¡± Bessi replied sadly. ¡°Our village wash raided by banditsh. Mommy and Daddy fought back, and the evil banditsh killed them.¡±


    ¡°Bandits, eh? Well, I promise you this, Bessi. If I ever meet those bandits that killed your parents, I''ll bash their heads in.¡± I was never good at comforting kids, but what I was good at was beating people up, so that''s what I would promise.


    ¡°Mishter Hero ish sho aweshome!¡±


    ¡°In exchange, you''re gonna help me clean the training hall.¡±


    ¡°Mishter Hero ish a shcammer.¡±

 Chapter 29

    Most would say that making a little girl clean up pools of blood and pieces of human organs was inhumane, and I would agree. I just didn''t realize it until we were back at the training hall that looked like a scene from a slasher film. I had long been so used to the sight of my blood and innards littering the ground that I didn''t stop to think how other people would handle their sight, much less kids.


    To my surprise, Bessi didn''t react like a normal girl her age would. Instead, she just scolded me with a cute wag of her finger when I told her that all of the blood was mine.


    ¡°Neksh time, don''t shcatter your blood everywhere, Mishter Hero! It''sh dishgushting!¡±


    ¡°I''ll keep that in mind.¡±


    The last time I cleaned up the training hall by myself, it took me an entire hour of constant scrubbing to get every last splotch of dried blood off the walls and floor. This time, it only took Bessi and I half that time until the ground where Camille cut me open like a fruit was sparkling clean. Embarrassingly enough, Bessi did most of the work.


    ¡°How the hell do you even clean that good?¡± I asked with a bit of awe as the floor literally gleamed.


    ¡°I have the Cleaning Shkill at tier two!¡± Bessi boasted with a smug grin.


    I didn''t even know there was a Skill for cleaning. No wonder a single wipe of her rag could clean the floor completely of blood. Her rag even absorbed more blood than it possibly should, probably caused by some System fuckery.


    ¡°Since you helped me with all this, let''s go grab some dinner at the cafeteria to celebrate,¡± I said as I began gathering the cleaning supplies.


    ¡°I already ate dinner,¡± Bessi murmured, but her eyes sharpened at the word ¡®dinner.¡¯


    ¡°Well, who says you can''t have dinner twice? Point them to me and we''ll see if I can make them reconsider their poor choices,¡± I said as I put the giggling Bessi on my shoulders. With how thin she was, it was like carrying a sack of feathers.


    ¡°Big Mama shaid sho! I want to shee Mishter Hero talk shome shenshe into Big Mama.¡±


    ¡°Oh. Well, maybe one dinner is plenty enough.¡±


    After returning the cleaning supplies, I took a quick bath to wash away the blood from the training before making our way to the cafeteria. People looked at me weirdly as I carried the giggling Bessi, but I ignored them and went straight for the line. Fortunately, the line was short given that it was already quite late. I hoped there was still enough food left because I was starving.


    Just like yesterday, I intended to get one of every dish available to sate my voracious appetite. When I tried to get Bessi her own portion, though, I suddenly found Big Mama on the other side of the counter. The big woman was giving us the stinkeye. ¡°What do ya think yer doin'' ''ere, little missy? Didn''tcha get yer portion already?¡±


    Bessi whimpered and hid behind my leg, causing Big Mama to turn her glare to me. This little squirt, shifting the problem to me.


    ¡°Long time no see, Big Mama,¡± I greeted.


    ¡°Didn''t expect ta see yer fat ass again,¡± Big Mama snorted. ¡°I''d have thought ya to be scrapin'' muck off ship hulls by now.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, well, a lot of things didn''t go to plan, and now I''m working for the Governor. I actually just finished cleaning the training hall with little Bessi here, so can''t you give her a little something as a reward?¡±


    Big Mama rolled her eyes at me. ¡°The midget''s malnourished, ya muscle-addled bum. She can''t have no solid foods fer two weeks. Only gruel fer the little missy.¡±


    I went silent as I looked at Bessi in pity. How could a child deserve to be fed that horrendous food?


    ¡°I know what yer thinkin'', bastard. It ain''t the free garbage we hand out ta degenerates like ya. We feed ''em rescued slaves with better fare,¡± Big Mama said. ¡°Just take a seat and I''ll see what I can get fer the little missy.¡±


    Bessi raised her hands in celebration. ¡°Yay! Thanksh, Big Mama!¡±


    Big Mama shook her head, but I could tell she didn''t mind it that much. I almost envied children''s ability to have their unreasonable requests granted.


    As I reached the end of the counter with my trays brimming with food, I saw Cassi doling out pies as usual, meat this time. When she saw me, she gave me a bright smile. ¡°Good evening, Mister Bob. I''d like to thank you for your help the other day.¡±Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ¡°What help?¡±


    ¡°Lance told me about what you said to him,¡± Cassi said with a knowing smile. ¡°Somehow, your criticizing words managed to get through that thick skull of his, unlike mine. Lance apologized to me.¡±


    ¡°I''m glad that helped, then, though you''re giving me too much credit. I just enjoy knocking assholes down a notch,¡± I said as Cassi placed a large slice of meat pie on my tray which Bessi was eyeing hungrily.


    After bidding Cassi goodbye, Bessi and I took our seats and waited for her gruel to arrive. As much as I wanted to just start tearing into my meal, I waited for her meal to arrive so we could eat together.


    We didn''t have to wait long. A young man brought over Bessi''s gruel, and unlike the liquid hell that Big Mama served for free, this one had a very fragrant smell and looked really appetizing. It even came along with a cup of fruity-smelling juice.


    Just as I thought we could begin eating, the server spoke to me. ¡°Mister Bob?¡±


    ¡°Eh?¡± I looked at the young man, and he looked quite familiar, but I couldn''t put my finger on his identity. ¡°Who''s asking?¡±


    ¡°It''s me!¡± the young man said happily. ¡°I never got the chance to thank you, Mister Bob. Thanks to you, I managed to land a job here in the City Hall. I don''t think I could continue working at the hotel after what happened.


    ¡°Oh, you''re the valet.¡± No wonder he looked extremely familiar. He was my would-be savior who tried to warn me about the latest assassination attempt, though his efforts went to waste when I burned his letter. Yeah, that was embarrassing. ¡°I''m glad you''re happy, then. You can rest assured that no assassin would wrap his tentacles around you and poison you to death while you''re here.¡±


    The young man''s face paled. ¡°Y-Yeah. Well, I gotta go, Mister Bob. It was nice meeting you!¡±


    As the young man left, I realized I didn''t get his name. Bah, not like I cared that much. I''ll just forget it anyway.


    With all that out of the way, I began digging into my meal with gusto. Today''s menu was roasted beef and chicken, a bowl of mashed potatoes drowning in gravy, a serving of garlic fried rice, sweet and sour fish fillets, three slices of watermelon, a plate of vegetable salad, and Cassi''s still-hot meat pie. It was quite a spread. It almost canceled out all the shitty and bloody parts of my job.


    ¡°Mishter Hero, I''d like to be as famoush ash you shomeday!¡± Bessi said while she slurped on her gruel. ¡°Everybody here sheemsh to know you.¡±


    ¡°Nah, I just knew those people by chance. Big Mama helped me get a job at the Laborer''s Guild, even if that didn''t turn out so well. Cassi, the lady who gave out meat pies, is the ex-girlfriend of another acquaintance of mine. And that young man who served the gruel was the valet of a hotel I used to stay in.¡±


    ¡°But everybody elsesh talksh about you,¡± Bessi said, which caught my attention. ¡°When I clean roomsh, I alwaysh hear people talking about how you rescued ush! About how you raided an entire shmuggler den all by yourshelf! Everybody knowsh you ash a hero now!¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    I looked at the people around me, most of whom were constantly glancing at me. Some were even outright staring. I always assumed that they looked at me because of my unusually large stature, just like people did back on Earth, but now that Bessi pointed it out, their stares seemed more like they were looking at a celebrity. What in Skorm''s asshole is going on?


    ¡°Didn''t they try to limit the spread of the news regarding the raid on the smuggling den?¡± I asked Bessi. The little squirt gave me a confused look with a tilt of her head.


    ¡°No? From what my shenior shishtersh told me, the city criersh announced the raid in public the day after! You''re famoush, Mishter Hero! They even have drawingsh of your face!¡±


    The meat pie fell out of my mouth. What the fuck was Camille doing?! I was hoping to disappear into the background once my Constable stint was done. Now I''ve got my face plastered all over the city!


    Shit, I bet this was her plan to make it harder for me to leave her service. The wily bitch. To make matters worse, I didn''t even learn about it until now, which was entirely my fault. I usually didn''t give a shit about the people around me, so I rarely stayed updated about the going-ons around me. That habit was now biting me in the ass.


    ¡°That damn woman.¡± I ate my food with more fervor, my anger getting the best of me. When I saw the people in the cafeteria staring at me, I stood up and glared at them. ¡°What are you fucks looking at?¡±


    That quickly made them mind their own business. I didn''t give a shit if they thought poorly of my behavior. If it meant messing with Camille''s plan to turn me into a public hero, then it worked for me. An asshole was always far easier to forget than a damned hero.


    The rest of the night went by uneventfully with my mind occupied with this development and Bessi''s random ramblings.


    ?????


    The next day, I barged into Camille''s office again. ¡°What the hell?¡±


    ¡°What is it this time?¡± Camille asked without even looking up from the document she was writing.


    ¡°Everybody thinks I''m a hero! What''s up with that?¡±


    ¡°I did hear about that, but do not blame me. I reported the facts as they were. It was the slaves you saved who went around touting your name as a hero.¡± Camille smiled mischievously. ¡°They call you Bob the Hero. Quite a nice nickname.¡±


    ¡°The slaves? I didn''t even tell them my name.¡±


    Camille gave me an innocent look. ¡°I told them, of course. Who wouldn''t want to know the name of their savior?¡±


    I narrowed my eyes. ¡°You knew this would happen.¡±


    ¡°I do not know what you mean, Constable.¡± Before I could continue questioning her, she quickly changed the subject. ¡°Anyway, our raid on the Siren''s Call is tonight, so we will be postponing our lessons. Spend the rest of your day training and preparing, I''m busy. I''ll call for you once the operation begins. You are dismissed.¡±


    Insufferable woman.


    I left the office grumbling and went straight to the training hall. Might as well try to get my Axe Mastery another level before the raid. Any advantage I get now could be the difference between life and death later on.


    For the rest of the day, I practiced swinging my axe in the training hall, pausing only for lunch and bathroom breaks. Unfortunately, Axe Mastery remained at the same level, but the practice still taught me several ways I could improve my swings.


    When dusk finally arrived, a man clad in a black cloak and mask entered the training hall. If not for the fact that I was in the City Hall, I would''ve thought it was another assassination attempt. But I knew it was just one of Camille''s secret operatives that would be part of the mission tonight.


    ¡°Greetings, Constable Bob. The Governor requests your presence in the armory.¡±


    It looks like Operation Siren Tears is a go.

 Chapter 30

    In normal circumstances, a Constable''s usual uniform consisted of the armored coat and pants I once wore on that raid against the Black Traders smuggling group. However, tonight was not a normal circumstance. Tonight, I was going to raid a den of degenerate pedophiles with the intention of luring elite assassins who carried poisons strong enough to kill elephants with a single drop.


    Hence, my uniform for tonight''s raid was a bit more nuanced. Gleaming platinum armor covered every inch of my skin except for the area around my eyes, ensuring maximum protection from all directions. Teal-colored lines of power snaked all over the armor, faintly glowing with magic as it strengthened its durability. From the helmet that protected my noggin to the codpiece that safely ensconced my balls in their firm embrace, everything was enchanted to become resistant against physical and magical attacks.


    Even my axe was brand new. Instead of the simple durability-enchanted steel axe I once owned, I now had a double-edged axe enchanted for maximum durability and weight. The weight of the armor and axe combined was heavy as fuck, but my immense strength could take it.


    For this mission, Camille essentially turned me into a walking tank, and I liked it very much.


    ¡°This is fucking awesome,¡± I said, my voice ending up muffled inside my helmet. I was currently walking along the streets of the red-light district, my heavy clanking steps echoing between the buildings. ¡°I bet I could jump into a volcano in this thing and come out unscathed.¡±


    ¡°Don''t be stupid. Only the strongest enchantments stand a chance against forces of nature,¡± Warner''s voice replied, but he was nowhere to be seen. That was because he was currently hiding inside my shadow, which was part of Operation Siren Tears.


    The plan was actually simple: I raid the brothel seemingly alone, when in reality, Warner was hiding inside my shadow waiting to ambush the assassins once they arrived. According to him, he also had several of his fellow shadow agents stalking the area, ready to reinforce when necessary.


    ¡°Now focus. You may feel invincible now, but that armor of yours is far from impenetrable. Poison gas could still seep into the gaps, and knowing who our enemies are, expect them to use it in massive amounts.¡±


    ¡°Don''t worry, Camille gave me antidotes for that possibility,¡± I said, patting the small pouch at my belt that contained several dozen pills designed to counteract the anti-healing poison that the tentacled bastard used against me.


    ¡°Anti-healing poisons aren''t the only ones capable of killing you,¡± Warner said. ¡°You better hope they don''t have life-eater poison because that thing will use your regeneration against you. You will die in seconds.¡±


    ¡°How does it work?¡±


    ¡°It converts your flesh into a corrosive acid that melts your insides. And it spreads, so as long as you''re alive, it will continue turning your own body into acid.¡±


    ¡°Whoever made that shit is fucking messed up.¡±


    ¡°Let''s just hope that they don''t have it,¡± Warner said. ¡°Life-eater poison is a heavily-illegal substance. The Imperial military keeps a tight grasp on their production to keep criminals from getting their hands on it.¡±


    ¡°But they are produced?¡±


    ¡°Of course they are. How do you think Imperial interrogators get answers out of tight-lipped criminals?¡±


    That''s one more fear to add to my list, I suppose.


    As I continued marching down the street, bystanders watched me curiously. One would think that seeing a heavily armed and armored warrior would send people scurrying away in concern. On Earth, my presence in the red-light district was the equivalent of an elite tactical team marching down a mall in full combat gear, and it would be understandable if the mall-goers went running away in panic.


    But for some reason, the people around here didn''t give a shit. Heck, some were even pointing at me with awed faces. ¡°People around here don''t give a shit even if a juggernaut walks around here, eh?¡±


    ¡°That''s because of their trust in the Governor,¡± Warner said. ¡°In the years since she took on her father''s seat, the city has known only prosperity. Their trust in her to protect them from bad actors is at an all-time high, so they don''t see you as a threat at all. They probably think you''re some visiting knight.¡±


    ¡°Is that trust gonna stay for long after this, though? First, there was the smuggler''s den under the city. Now, it''s a brothel engaging in child prostitution. Not exactly the perfect environment to promote safety. This is probably the last time we''ll see such carefree faces,¡± I said as people watched my passage. Several prostitutes lounging on balconies even called out to me with offers of a fun night. Too bad I was currently on the job.


    I took the final turn that would lead to the Siren''s Call, and the brothel in question immediately became visible at the end of the street. Calling the building lavish wouldn''t be enough to justify its appearance. Consisting of multiple three-story buildings, it was more apt to call the Siren''s Call a compound instead of a simple establishment. Two-meter-high walls enclosed an area that must''ve been at least a thousand square meters and contained various stores and dormitories.


    The Siren''s Call was also the most well-lit area in the entire red-light district. Warm yellow lights illuminated the whole compound, allowing the customers a clear view of their products: the prostitutes. Beautiful women leaned out of windows and balconies, enticing the rich men below who came to have a fun time.


    Well, too bad for them, because I also came for some fun times. It''s just that I had a different definition of a fun time.


    I arrived at the compound''s front gate where several guards were already waiting for me, wary. They must''ve seen me from afar.


    ¡°Stop right there!¡± the lead guard barked out. ¡°This is a place of pleasure, warrior, not of blood. Why do you come armed?¡±This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.


    ¡°It''s showtime,¡± I muttered before raising the magic device that Camille gave me to my mouth. It looked like a magnifying glass but without the glass, just the circular thing with a handle. Any sound that went through the circle would be amplified.


    ¡°ATTENTION, WORKERS AND PATRONS OF THE SIREN''S CALL. YOUR ESTABLISHMENT HAS BEEN FOUND TO CONDUCT ILLEGAL PRACTICES OF CHILD PROSTITUTION AND IS THUS SUBJECT TO THE FULL PUNISHMENT OF IMPERIAL LAW. AS THE DULY APPOINTED CONSTABLE OF SHIELDHOLD, I AM PUTTING EVERYONE INSIDE THE ESTABLISHMENT UNDER ARREST. GET YOUR ASSES DOWN ON THE GROUND AND PUT YOUR HANDS OVER YOUR HEAD. MOTHERFUCKERS WHO DO NOT COMPLY WILL BE CUT DOWN WITHOUT DUE PROCESS. TO ANY BYSTANDERS IN THE AREA, PLEASE VACATE AT ONCE. I AIN''T ASKING TWICE.¡±


    The entire red-light district went quiet after my announcement. Even the guards at the gate looked unsure after hearing my words, except for the lead guard. The man frowned as he spoke to an amulet. Probably coordinating with people inside.


    I unstrapped the heavy axe from my back and held it with two hands. The guards took a step back.


    ¡°I already told you, didn''t I? Get down on the ground or I cut you down where you stand,¡± I said. Still, the street was quiet as both bystanders and guards looked at me with disbelief. What the hell were they doing? I expected the guards to either run or fight me as soon as I made my announcement, not this staring contest. Maybe they still couldn''t believe I was trying to arrest them.


    Well, works in my favor. ¡°Don''t tell me I didn''t warn you.¡±


    I lunged forward, my axe swinging down on the nearest guard''s head. I didn''t even feel any resistance as the axe completely bisected the bastard down the middle and crashed on the paved ground with a loud boom.


    Holy shit, this axe was fucking next level.


    The first dead guard seemed to be the catalyst that finally snapped everyone out of their shock and disbelief. Some woman in the distance shrieked, and the guards shouted in alarm as they raised their weapons.


    In a span of a few seconds, chaos descended on the red-light district. Bystanders started running away as they screamed, and behind the line of guards advancing on me, I could see the patrons and workers of the Siren''s Call looking at me with fear.


    Suffice to say, nobody heeded my instructions to get on the ground at all. Everybody inside the compound started gunning for the other exits.


    Meanwhile, the guards finally came into my striking range. I swung for the fences, and they easily dodged my attack and darted in for a strike of their own. Unfortunately for them, their blades simply skidded off my pristine armor, and I took that opportunity to grab one of the guards'' arms.


    The guard tried to stab me in the gaps of my armor as I drew him in, but he missed. I struck him in the neck with my axe as I pulled him, and I didn''t miss. His head went flying off into the sunset.


    [You have slain a Lv. 18 Swordsman. Experience gained.]


    ¡°Darell!¡± one of the guards screamed in despair as his fellow guard''s corpse fell to the ground. He gave me a murderous glare. ¡°I''ll fucking kill you!¡±


    ¡°Try your best, bub.¡±


    Darell''s friend broke formation and charged at me with a war cry. I performed an overhead swing at him, a powerful move that eschewed all attempts at defense and focused all my strength in a single attack. I saw Darell''s friend raise his shield in an attempt to block me, as well as the guard leader who took advantage of his subordinate''s idiocy by flanking me.


    My axe which must''ve weighed at least a hundred kilograms descended on Darell''s friend, and it utterly obliterated both shield and man into the ground with sheer force.


    [You have slain a Lv. 23 Swordsman. Experience gained.]


    Before I could recover from my strike, the guard leader struck at the side of my neck with his spear. The strike was so fast that his weapon was nothing but a blur as it struck at the very thin gap at my neck covered only by a thin unenchanted chainmail. The spear penetrated into my throat, but Hard as Fuck ensured that it didn''t pierce all the way through to the other side of my neck.


    ¡°Not so tough now, are you?¡± the guard leader spat as he pulled his spear out from my neck, causing blood to squirt out. I pretended to fall to my knees as he approached cockily. ¡°So you''re the Constable that the boss wants dead. He put quite a bounty on your head, you know? For a man who trounced the Shadow Guild several times, you were a disappointingly easy kill. It looks like I''m going to be the one to get the bounty after all¡ª¡±


    I grabbed the bastard''s foot when he came close enough. He struck out with his spear again, but it bounced off my gauntlet harmlessly.


    ¡°You talk too much,¡± I said as I stood up while pulling his foot off the ground, causing the leader to fall down. His spear turned into a blur again as it struck my neck several times in a span of a single second, but I simply harnessed the pain into strength and stomped hard on his helmeted head, crushing both metal and skull.


    [You have slain a Lv. 31 Elite Spearman. Experience gained.]


    When I looked up, the remaining guards looked at me with fear. I took a single step towards them, and the fuckers ran off like cowards.


    ¡°There goes my experience,¡± I muttered.


    ¡°Focus,¡± Warner scolded. ¡°Get moving, we''re on a time crunch. We don''t know if Carmen is going to transfer the slave children out of here to cover his tracks. You need to get to the main building as soon as you can.¡±


    ¡°Orders received, boss.¡±


    The plan was actually to just attract the assassins, not to save the children, but it seems like Warner was a softie for kids. Not like I''m complaining. I was all for it.


    I rushed into the compound, my huge figure heralded by the loud clanking of my armor. When the people saw me, they scurried away from me screaming like they''d just seen a monster. In their defense, my axe and armor were dripping with blood.


    More guards arrived to try and stop me, but all of them were in the mere first tier of their Classes. To be fair, I was also in my first tier, but I was an outlier. The guards realized that too when I ripped them apart easily.


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 23.]


    I smashed my way into the main building and found myself in a lavishly-decorated lobby. The air smelled sweet from all the incense burning nearby, and the ambiance would''ve been quite nice if not for the prostitutes shrieking their lungs out as they ran away from me.


    Ma did say that I''d one day have women shrieking at the sight of me. I just thought they''d shriek because they were charmed and not because they were terrified.


    As the rest of the women ran away, one of them was still sitting on the couch, frozen and trembling as I approached. The girl couldn''t have been older than eighteen, but I suppose that to people of this world, she was already of age.


    ¡°Good evening, ma''am. I have a few questions,¡± I said as I stood a few meters away from her to keep her from outright having a meltdown. ¡°Do you know where they keep the slave children?¡±


    ¡°B-B-B-B-B¡­¡± The woman tried to speak, but fear seemed to have gotten a hold of her. However, she was repeatedly pointing at the ground.


    ¡°They''re underground? Basement?¡± I asked, and the woman quickly nodded. ¡°Alright, thanks for the tip. You should go now, lady.¡±


    After the lady left with trembling legs, Warner spoke up. ¡°The building is enchanted to suppress sensory abilities so I can''t pinpoint the hidden entrance that should lead underground, but the best place to look would be the manager''s office.¡±


    I began searching for the manager''s office, and along the way, several more guard teams tried to stop me. I bulldozed my way through them, not even bothering to kill them all as I prioritized finding the manager''s office first. I found it soon enough, and I charged at the door. The door was made of thick wood reinforced with iron, but pit against more than a hundred kilograms of man and metal charging at a high speed, the door lost.


    As soon as I went past the room''s threshold, squiggly lines on the ground suddenly lit up an ominous red. I heard Warner shout it was a trap moments before the entire floor exploded violently. Fire and heat consumed my entire body, and as I was coming to realize, my armor had a limit to how much damage it could take, and that limit just got broken.


    I was cooked alive inside my armor like a Thanksgiving turkey inside an oven.

 Chapter 31

    A massive conflagration completely engulfed me as the blast sent me flying high into the air with my legs blown off. Agony consumed my mind as everything, and I mean fucking everything in my body was being cooked.


    [Physical Resistance has leveled up to Lv.7]


    [Physical Resistance has leveled up to Lv.8]


    [Physical Resistance has leveled up to Lv.9]


    [Through sheer effort, you have learned the Skill ¡®Minor Fire Resistance Lv. 1.¡¯]


    My eyesight was the first to go out when the fire managed to get inside my helmet through the small gap. The next was my ability to breathe, because as I discovered right then, inhaling fucking flames wasn''t good for your lungs. Next, my hearing went silent as my ears melted and covered my damn earholes. Lastly, all sensation in my skin completely disappeared as the heat fried it to a crisp.


    [Minor Fire Resistance has leveled up to Lv.2]


    [Minor Fire Resistance has leveled up to Lv.3]


    [Regeneration has leveled up to Lv.6]


    But my agony didn''t end right then. Oh no, it just ramped up from there. With no other senses to focus on, my brain put all its attention to my insides, and my innards, which were already obliterated from the shockwave, were fucking boiling in my own blood. To make matters worse, I must''ve landed hard on the ground after being flung into the air by the explosion because I felt my bones all over my body breaking. All my organs were being turned into a stew with my bones as stock, and my regeneration was on overdrive trying to keep everything together.


    [Minor Fire Resistance has leveled up to Lv.4]


    [Minor Fire Resistance has leveled up to Lv.5]


    [Regeneration has leveled up to Lv.7]


    [Regeneration has leveled up to Lv.8]


    My organs were intermittently shutting down before functioning again as my regeneration brought them back. Even my brain was getting melted and healed back up, because even with my senses obliterated, I was smelling colors and tasting sounds like a fucking lunatic.


    [Minor Fire Resistance has leveled up to Lv.6]


    [Regeneration has leveled up to Lv.9]


    [Regeneration Lv.9 has been upgraded to Greater Regeneration Lv.1]


    All of a sudden, my regeneration went on steroids. My blood was still literally boiling inside me and my bone shards were shredding my organs, but everything was suddenly healing faster than they were being damaged. Even the bones, which I usually needed to manually set, painfully went to their proper positions and healed back up, though not before shredding everything that stood in their way.


    The first to return to functioning order was my breathing. As soon as my lungs were no longer scorched from the flames I inhaled, I coughed uncontrollably and vomited blood at the same time. With my helmet closed and tightly secure around my head as it was, that meant my vomit was trapped inside and caused me to choke.


    I hurriedly tried to remove my helmet, but to my horror, the base of the helmet had melted and stuck to my fucking skin at some point. I couldn''t remove it.


    I was drowning in my own damn blood and vomit.


    I tried pulling my helmet forcefully off my head, and with the pain I was going through, my strength was through the roof thanks to Masochist. At the first tug, I felt my spine at the base of my neck snap and disconnect. My body was suddenly paralyzed, all while I was drowning.


    I was forced to wait for my spine to reconnect, which fortunately happened quickly. Once it did and I gained control over my body, I forcefully dug my fingers into the metal and ripped the entire front of my helmet off. A layer of skin and flesh from my face was also ripped off because the damn metal had melded to my face from the heat.


    I vomited again, this time freely. I coughed and cried at the same time as my body healed itself from the sheer torture I went through. It was the most excruciating thing I''ve ever experienced, and I honestly wished to have just died instead of feeling that agony.


    I spent the next ten minutes recovering from my ordeal. My body had completely healed long ago, but the mind was a more fickle thing. I broke down in tears like a bitch several times.


    When I finally gathered enough of myself, I took stock of my surroundings. The entire main building of the Siren''s Call was gone, replaced by a massive crater. In the center of the crater was me.


    The entire thing had been a fucking trap. I don''t know if Carmen had a mole inside the City Hall or if we were just that predictable, but no matter the case, he knew where we''d be and he got us real fucking good.


    ¡°Warner,¡± I gasped, my voice still raspy from all the smoke still stuck to my throat. ¡°Warner, you there?¡±


    I had no idea how the old man''s shadow abilities worked, but I was hoping that he was completely immune to attack while stuck to someone''s shadow. There was no response, however, as I called out for the old dude. Maybe he shifted away to another shadow when he saw the trap. He did spot it the moment I busted into the manager''s office.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.


    I tried standing up, which took quite a bit of effort due to how my armor''s joints had completely melded together. I forced the joints apart with my sheer strength easily enough, what with the durability enchantments no longer working. It was made easier by the fact that my legs weren''t constrained by armor anymore. My legs just above the knees were now bare after they were blown off from the explosion and regenerated as good as new.


    Normally, I''d lament how my badass armor didn''t last as long as I would like, but I wasn''t in the mood right now. All I wanted to do was to sleep in my bed and forget about the pain I experienced.


    As I began climbing toward the lip of the crater, I noticed something in the debris that littered the area. Everything was charred black, but even then, the familiar shape of a cage was unmistakable even if its bars were warped in every direction. The cage was partially buried under a high stack of still-smoldering wood.


    And inside the cage was the blackened corpse of a child.


    I looked around, and that''s when I saw more cages littering the place, most of them containing the burnt corpse of a child. Bessi would''ve been in one of those cages if I hadn''t saved her and her companions in the sewers.


    Carmen never had any intention of transferring the children out of the brothel at all. To him, all that mattered was to kill the pesky Constable.


    For the first time since I''ve arrived in this world, I felt true rage. Not the piddling anger that I felt when somebody annoyed me like Camille using me as assassin bait. What I felt was the type of rage that I nurtured against the bastards who made my life hell back on Earth. Deep, primal rage that Ma tried to keep me from expressing.


    This time, though, Ma was no longer here to stop me from turning that rage into action. Now, I had the power that I had been craving in the past just so I could gain some semblance of control over my life. The power to kill anyone that tried to mess with me.


    And I would gladly use that power to kill the bastard who set up a trap for me while knowing that these child slaves would perish in the process.


    At that moment, I heard the rustle of fabric pass me by. One moment I was staring blankly at the burnt child in the cage, the next, I was surrounded by five cloaked figures whose blades were already piercing my body. Two targeted my heart, one stabbed into my neck, and the last two was plunged into my skull.


    The familiar burning sensation of poison entered my bloodstream, and if my enemies were smart, the poison was probably of the anti-healing variety.


    My antidote pills had been destroyed in the explosion.


    [Minor Poison Resistance has leveled up to Lv.5]


    [Minor Poison Resistance has leveled up to Lv.6]


    Whatever poison these bastards were using, it was strong. My body started burning from the inside, not unlike the severe burning I just went through. The horrendous pain was back.


    My vision went red with rage.


    I howled in pain and fury as I grabbed the arms of two of my assailants. They responded by stabbing more daggers into my head, causing my mental faculties to go haywire. But even with my malfunctioning brain, I was somehow still conscious and managed to kill one of the assassins I held by biting his throat out.


    [You have slain a Lv. 46 Dark Blade. Experience gained.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 24.]


    [Minor Poison Resistance has leveled up to Lv.7]


    The other assassin I grabbed brought out a dagger and sliced his arm off without hesitation just as I was about to bite his throat too, escaping my grasp.


    The four remaining assassins fell back warily as they watched me suffer from the poison. The pain was exceuciating, and despite my efforts, I was forced to my knees from the debilitating pain.


    [Minor Poison Resistance has leveled up to Lv.8]


    I plucked the blades stuck all over my body and triggered Blood Bag, forcing my body to replace my poisoned blood. I had to flush the poison out of my body quickly, because without my regeneration, I was fucking dead.


    But imagine my surprise when my wounds instantly healed the moment I removed the daggers stabbed into me. And I meant that literally. As soon the daggers left my flesh, my body healed up the wounds in less than a second.


    I was so surprised that I forgot about my pain for a moment. Did these bastards use the wrong poison?


    But judging from the assassins'' wide eyes, they did not expect that too. Something changed with my regeneration, but I had no idea what since I haven''t been able to read my notifications yet.


    However, that didn''t matter at the moment. What did matter was that their poison was ineffective, and that meant they lost their best advantage against me.


    [Minor Poison Resistance has leveled up to Lv.9]


    With the poison still stuck inside my bloodstream, the pain I was experiencing was debilitating. But I forced myself to think through the pain and used it to my advantage.


    With Masochist boosting my strength to tremendous levels right now, I shifted my footing and pushed off the ground with all my might, resulting in me rocketing forward towards one of the assassins. Fast they may be, but I still managed to reach my target before he managed to move out of the way.


    I grabbed his neck right as I passed him by and crushed it with a closing of my fist.


    [You have slain a Lv. 43 Dark Blade. Experience gained.]


    The three remaining assassins took advantage of the situation by launching a barrage of poison needles at my back. The burning intensified by threefold as hundreds of needles turned my back into a pin cushion.


    [Masochist has leveled up to Lv.4]


    [Minor Poison Resistance Lv. 9 has been upgraded to Poison Resistance Lv. 1]


    All of a sudden, the burning diminished significantly, but I didn''t get to appreciate it for even a second before one of the assassins reached my position in an instant and swung a shortsword at my neck. My instincts screamed at me that the attack would behead me.


    I focused Hard as Fuck on my neck. At level 4, I could harden four body parts at once, but I focused all of that hardening instances to my neck as I tried to trap the assassin in a bear hug.


    My effort was moot.


    [Hard as Fuck has leveled up to Lv.5]


    The world spun all over the place as my head flew off and landed a few meters away. I just got fucking decapitated. The bastard''s blade cut through my neck with minimal resistance even with my Skill.


    Before I could even start worrying about my situation, a sharp scream tore through the air along with the sound of breaking bones. It came from the assassin that beheaded me.


    Somehow, before my head went flying, I succeeded in catching the assassin in a bear hug. The last instruction I sent to my body was to crush the motherfucker to death, and now that my head was gone, my body somehow locked in position with the screaming assassin trapped in the bear hug.


    The two other assassins arrived and hacked my body to pieces, freeing their compatriot. But it looks like they were too late. The bastard was already foaming at the mouth.


    [You have slain a Lv. 49 Dark Blade. Experience gained.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 25. You are eligible for a Class Evolution.]


    The two remaining assassins didn''t give their dead companion another glance. After seeing my decapitated head, they immediately left the scene.


    Or rather, they tried to.


    Before they could even take a single step, one of the assassins suddenly crumpled into a compressed ball of flesh. The other was sliced into hundreds of tiny pieces not unlike what they did to my body.


    And throughout all that, I was still conscious and alive.

 Chapter 32

    For a few moments, the crater was silent save for the distant tolling of the city bells and the faint shouts of panicking citizens. After that massive explosion, it''d be a miracle if they managed to sleep through that. I bet everyone and their mothers were awake right now trying to understand what was happening.


    Even I had no clue what in the almighty fuck was happening. The last two assassins that tried to kill me were now piles of meat on the ground a short distance away from my head, dying all of a sudden due to God knows what, while I was a fully conscious head whose body was now minced meat.


    Fortunately for me, my regeneration was back again to save the day. I could feel the stump of my neck heating up as it started reforming my body, and at quite a fast pace, too. Judging by the rate it was going, I''ll have a full working body back in ten minutes, which was fucking crazy. What the hell happened to my regeneration?


    I checked my notifications starting from the time I recovered from the explosion, and by Skorm''s hairy asshole was there a lot. The improvements in my Status across the board were tremendous, the most notable being my Regeneration being upgraded to its tier three version, Greater Regeneration. If not for that improvement, I don''t think I could''ve survived tonight''s ordeal. My Minor Poison Resistance upgraded too, which must''ve been why the assassins'', or rather the Dark Blades'', poisons suddenly reduced in intensity by the end of the fight.


    More notifications were waiting for me to read them, but I had to put them off for later as two people entered my line of sight.


    It was the Slayer Guildmaster Morgan Thorn and the Governor Camille. The thin old man was dressed in his usual business attire while Camille was covered completely in her shiny steel armor, complete with a helmet that left only her eyes exposed.


    Upon seeing me, Camille rushed over to my head with a sort of panic that I never would have imagined to see on the aloof woman. She kneeled beside me as she took off her helmet, allowing me to see her tear-stained and grief-stricken face.


    Alarm bells were going haywire inside my head. Camille was not the type of gal to show such vulnerability to others. Shit must''ve really hit the fan hard.


    ¡°I''m sorry,¡± Camille sobbed as she hugged my head. I appreciated the gesture, but being hugged by a woman wearing steel gauntlets and armor was painful. ¡°This is all my fault.¡±


    I tried to talk to her, but I realized I couldn''t speak without my lungs. Fortunately, Morgan seemed to notice that I was alive. He looked like he couldn''t believe I was alive at first, but when I waggled my eyebrows at him, he quickly spoke up. ¡°Lady Camille, I believe the Constable is still alive.¡±


    Camille stopped hugging me and gave me a second glance. By that time, I was already starting to regenerate my shoulders. Her mouth hung open in shock. ¡°Bob, you''re still alive? But how?¡±


    Both of them watched with morbid fascination as my body slowly reformed. As soon as I got my lungs back, I spoke with a hoarse voice. ¡°What are the both of you doing here? This wasn''t in the plan.¡±


    Camille''s face twisted as tears ran down her face. ¡°Warner is dead.¡±


    My mind froze in shock for a brief moment. ¡°What? That''s impossible. He was hiding in my shadow.¡±


    ¡°The trap that Carmen set up considered that possibility. Warner is all but invincible from physical attacks while hiding inside a shadow, but if that shadow is banished completely, he is forced to emerge.¡±


    ¡°Ah, shit. I was right on top of the explosion.¡±


    Camille nodded as she wiped her tears. ¡°The flash would''ve erased all shadows at the point of detonation for the briefest moment, long enough to kick Warner out of your shadow. He was likely caught up in the explosion.¡±


    ¡°Fuck. Is there any chance at all that the old bastard is just hiding?¡±


    Camille brought out a pendant with a cracked jewel in the center. ¡°This gem is linked to his soul. Upon his death, the gem is supposed to crack.¡±


    ¡°Fuck. I''m sorry for your loss, Camille.¡±


    At my words, more tears came running down her face, which she quickly wiped away. ¡°It doesn''t matter. As much as I would like to just¡­ run away from all this¡­ we must push on.¡±


    Warner''s death must''ve really rattled the woman because it was completely unlike her to show this much vulnerability, especially to someone like me who she knew for less than a week. I suspected the old man was like family to the woman.


    ¡°You still haven''t answered why the two of you are here,¡± I said as my torso and arms finally finished reforming with my lower body already partially done.


    ¡°The old plan is now obsolete,¡± Camille said. ¡°There is no more hiding this fiasco from the public, not after that massive explosion. We have to find and eliminate Carmen tonight before outside actors interfere with the situation. I have already secured Guildmaster Morgan''s assistance for this.¡±


    ¡°As in, right fucking now?¡± I asked incredulously. ¡°Didn''t we already discuss why that isn''t possible? The bastard''s mansion is a heavily defended fortress!¡±


    Morgan answered the question this time. ¡°We have no other choice, I''m afraid. We''ve received word from neighboring cities that Carmen is calling in all of his favors. Come tomorrow morning, a small army of mercenaries is arriving to reinforce him. The security of the city is at stake, and as a Guildmaster of the city, Shieldhold''s safety is one of my responsibilities.¡±


    ¡°Well, shit. Why is Carmen suddenly making drastic moves? It makes no fucking sense at all. He stands to lose as much as we do by acting this blatantly. It reeks of desperation.¡±


    Morgan went silent and looked at Camille, who suddenly seemed unsure. That immediately ignited my suspicion.


    ¡°Camille, what the fuck did you just do?¡±If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.


    She turned defensive as she stepped away from me. ¡°What I had the right to do! I sent Carmen an ultimatum this morning that he should either surrender or he shall lose everything he holds dear. I¡­ I sent him a finger of his son to prove my point.¡±


    I covered my face with my palms. ¡°You stupid idiot. Did you stop to even think how that could''ve affected our operation tonight? You could''ve done it after the raid! You technically¡ª¡±


    ¡ªkilled Warner. At the very last moment, my stress-addled brain managed to stop me from being as stupid as Camille was. But judging from her trembling expression, she already knew what I was about to say.


    ¡°What? I technically what, Bob? Say it to my face! Just say it! It''s my fault! I''m the reason why Warner is dead! I never wanted to be Governor, I didn''t! But I had to or else that bastard Carmen would come into power! The bastard who killed my father and my fianc¨¦! I¡ª¡±


    With my legs now healed, I stood up and pulled the sobbing and incoherent woman into a hug, and she immediately crumbled. To be honest, I hated hugs, especially while she was wearing armor and I was stark naked, resulting in my skin being pinched in weird places, but it was the only thing I could think of to shut the woman up. I was sure that the enemy was watching us right now, and if there was one thing Camille was right about, it was that we had to make our move soon. We had no time for all this drama.


    ¡°I know, I know. I''m sorry. But I need you to keep it together, dammit. This Carmen killed your family, yeah? Then let''s stroll up to his house and kick his ass. I also have a bone to pick with him.¡±


    Camille sniffled as she broke away. She took a few moments to inhale and exhale. Once her composure was back, she gave me a nod. ¡°Thank you, Bob. I needed that. Warner was the last person I had left that I could trust and...¡±


    Before Camille could start bawling again, I patted her on the shoulder. ¡°Alright, alright, I understand. If there''s one thing Warner would want you to do, that is to kill Carmen. So let''s get to it before the bastard could even think of escaping.¡±


    Camille gave me a solemn nod. ¡°Come, we will return to the City Hall first. While you gear up¡­ I will gather my army.¡±


    ?????


    [Congratulations! The Gods have deemed your deeds worthy of Accolades. You have obtained the Accolades ¡®Unbreakable¡¯ and ¡®Brain-Damaged.¡¯]


    [Unbreakable - You have suffered through unimaginable pain that would have broken any sane man but still came out whole in mind and body. Your mind is now unassailable from external influence and all healing on your body is Absolute.]


    [Brain-Damaged - You managed to continue fighting even while your brain was severely damaged. Your thought processes are now decentralized and can occur throughout your entire nervous system.]


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 25. You are eligible for a Class Evolution.]


    [Please choose a Class Evolution below.]


    1. Murderous Bastard¡­


    2. Masochistic Bastard¡­


    3. Gluttonous Bastard¡­


    4. Undying Bastard¡­


    OR


    [You may reset your levels and choose a new Class instead of evolving your current Class.]


    1. Hand of Carnage¡­


    2. Justicar of Zytarr¡­


    3. Seed of Bahanelle¡­


    4. Figment of Ichklmrk¡­


    5. Sanguine of Sancthis¡­


    6. Prime of Galthar¡­


    [Warning: After evolving your Class, all experience gained from killing entities one Class Tier below you will be reduced to zero. Experience gained from all other sources will be drastically reduced.]


    ¡°Say, what does ¡®Absolute¡¯ mean regarding my abilities?¡± I asked Morgan as he sat across from me. We were in the City Hall''s cafeteria, eating leisurely as if we weren''t about to storm a noble''s mansion a few hours from now. But the fight ahead will be difficult, and there was no point in entering that fight on an empty stomach.


    Morgan raised an eyebrow at my question. ¡°You must be quite the character to have one aspect of yours to be ¡®Absolute,¡¯ Mister Bob. To put it simply, anything that the System considers ¡®Absolute¡¯ cannot be affected by anything at all. It is one of the most powerful characteristics that something could have. May I ask what aspect of yours has become Absolute, Mister Bob?¡±


    ¡°One of my new Accolades said any healing I receive is now Absolute,¡± I replied as I stuffed my mouth with some roasted chicken. ¡°What does that mean?¡±


    ¡°I''m surprised to learn that you are an Accolade-holder. And based on your words, you have more than one,¡± Morgan said with a smile. ¡°Anyway, to answer your question, having all of your healing become ¡®Absolute¡¯ means that it can no longer be affected by any outside influence. It can neither be improved nor hampered by any Skill or object. As an example, you will no longer have to worry about anti-healing poisons hampering your regeneration, and any beneficial potion that may boost your regeneration is now ineffective.¡±


    Goddamn, that was a very powerful boon. Somebody up there must be looking out for me because the ¡®Unbreakable¡¯ Accolade just removed two of my most glaring weaknesses: the vulnerability of my mind and the possibility of my regeneration being nullified.


    As for my second new Accolade, ¡®Brain-Damaged,¡¯ the way I understood it is that even if my brain ended up being destroyed, I''d still be able to think clearly. I would have appreciated it more if it had a better name, though. Making me sound like a had a few screws loose.


    Putting aside the new Accolades, I turned my attention to the Class Evolution notification, and boy was there a lot to unpack.


    First off, why was I given a choice to either evolve my Class or reset my levels to choose a new Class? Camille never taught me about anything like that, and given its significant effects on my future progression, she wouldn''t have skipped it over. This was not normal.


    The source of the abnormality was easy enough to spot. In the portion where I was allowed to change my Class, which should''ve required a World Crystal or something, the choices were¡­ discomforting, to say the least.


    [You may reset your levels and choose a new Class instead of evolving your current Class.]


    1. Hand of Carnage - All the world is a lamb to the slaughter. You have been chosen by the Carnage God as his Champion and are thus allowed to serve him faithfully. The Hand of Carnage is a religious Class that creates a direct connection between God and servant, allowing the Hand to harness the divine power of their God.


    2. Justicar of Zytarr - The world is dictated by law and order, and you are the arbiter. The God of Logic and Justice has deemed you worthy of his patronage. The Justicar of Zytarr is a religious Class that creates a direct connection between God and servant, allowing the Justicar to harness the divine power of their God.


    3. Seed of Bahanelle - Life is sacred, and it is the duty of the strong to protect the weak. The Goddess of Healing and Fertility has deemed you worthy of her patronage. The Seed of Bahanelle is a religious Class that creates a direct connection between God and servant, allowing the Seed to harness the divine power of their God.


    4. Figment of Ichklmrk - There is no such thing as insanity in an insane world. The God of Dreams, Chaos, and Insanity has deemed you worthy of his patronage. The Figment of Ichklmrk is a religious Class that creates a direct connection between God and servant, allowing the Figment to harness the divine power of their God.


    5. Sanguine of Sancthis - Blood is the language of all that breathes. The God of Blood and Flesh has deemed you worthy of his patronage. The Sanguine of Sancthis is a religious Class that creates a direct connection between God and servant, allowing the Sanguine to harness the divine power of their God.


    6. Prime of Galthar - Strength supreme. The God of Might and Grit has deemed you worthy of his patronage. The Prime of Galthar is a religious Class that creates a direct connection between God and servant, allowing the Prime to harness the divine power of their God.


    Gone were the mundane Mountaineer or Monster Slayer Classes that I was once offered. Instead, all of the choices were religious Classes that would tie me to a God.


    It seems like Morhaven''s gods wanted a slice of the best-selling pie that was Bob Dinkle.

 Chapter 33

    ¡°What do you know about religious Classes?¡± I asked Morgan with my mouth full of chicken.


    ¡°An unusual line of questioning, but one I can answer,¡± Morgan said as he elegantly sliced his food with a fork and knife. ¡°Religious Classes are one of the more powerful Classes available. They are known for being able to harness their god''s divine authority, granting them powers under their deity''s domain. However, in exchange for that power, there are harsh constrictions that limit their freedom. Most people see those constrictions as not worth the power, hence, only the most devout believers willingly choose a religious Class.¡±


    ¡°What kind of constrictions are we talking about here?¡±


    ¡°It depends on the patron god''s teachings. Bahanelle is known to be the most lenient on her priestesses, requiring only that they heal a certain quota every month. On the other side of the spectrum, we have the dark gods who often demand sacrifices and brutal practices from their followers. Moreover, as religious Classes evolve, the patron god gains influence over the person. At Elite-tier, priests merely receive divine visions from their patron god. At Lord-tier, however, their gods can descend upon their bodies at any time and take control until the body expires.¡±


    I was already certain that I wouldn''t choose religious Classes because they gave me a bad feeling, but Morgan''s explanation solidified my mind. There was no way I''m going to let some divine asshole up there take control of my body like a puppet.


    ¡°May I ask what brought on your curiosity regarding religious Classes?¡± Morgan asked.


    ¡°I just reached level 25, and the System gave me a choice to reset my levels and choose a new Class. It''s just that the choices all consist of religious Classes,¡± I replied.


    Morgan leaned forward with an interested look. ¡°Can you tell me what these Classes are?¡±


    I told him, and as I finished reading out the choices, Morgan was rubbing his chin absently as he studied me. ¡°You are a very interesting person, Mister Bob. This is the first time I have ever heard of someone being allowed to reset their levels, and without the help of a World Crystal at that! The gods must be really interested in you. Tell me, Bob. Are you special?¡±


    ¡°My Ma did always say I was different from the rest of the kids my age back in the day.¡±


    Morgan leaned forward even more. ¡°Oh? How so?¡±


    ¡°I never washed my ass when I took a dump,¡± I replied. Morgan gave me an unamused stare. ¡°What are you staring at me for? That was years ago, I wash my ass now. The City Hall''s comfort rooms have bidets, you know? Water pressure is nice and strong, knocks off those bits of turd that get tangled in your ass hair sometimes¡ª¡±


    ¡°Enough!¡± Morgan massaged his temples. ¡°Remind me not to eat with you next time. I just lost my appetite. I''ll see you later, I suppose. I just hope the raid could get the image you clearly painted out of my mind.¡±


    ¡°More for me,¡± I said as I dragged Morgan''s plate over to my side of the table.


    Now that I was alone, I put all my focus on my Class Evolution options to see what kind of bullshit the people up there decided to give me this time.


    [Congratulations! You are now Level 25. You are eligible for a Class Evolution.]


    [Please choose a Class Evolution below.]


    1. Murderous Bastard - Perfect for the resident serial killer on the block. This Class offers offensive Skills aimed towards increasing your capability to murder. Each level-up focuses all improvements on strength and ignores all other aspects. Go kill ''em all, you bastard.


    2. Masochistic Bastard - When they hit you hard, you get harder. This Class specializes in turning pain into pleasure and injuries into strength, as well as the ability to reflect damage at enemies. Each level-up improves resilience and strength. Show the world the power of whips and bondage.


    3. Gluttonous Bastard - You are what you eat, so stop eating shit. This Class gives you the ability to eat anything, including magical attacks, and store them in a separate dimension in your stomach or incorporate them into your body. Each level-up improves your mana capacity and mana regeneration. Eat up.


    4. Undying Bastard - Death is wondering when you''d give him a visit. This Class specializes in resisting damage and improves all abilities related to healing and recovery. Each level-up focuses on improving your resilience and survivability. If you still manage to die with this Class, you deserve it.


    The choices were certainly interesting. Except for Masochistic Bastard (fuck that Class), I was completely hooked on the three remaining choices. Murderous Bastard seemed to focus on offense, Gluttonous Bastard looked like a balance between offense and defense, and Undying Bastard was all about defense and survival.


    Murderous Bastard was a very solid choice because of the allure of offensive Skills. My current repertoire had an extreme lack of offensive capability, and sooner or later, I would eventually run into a situation where my lack of attack options was gonna bite me in the ass.


    Gluttonous Bastard, on the other hand, was a very tempting choice because of its peculiar ability. An infinite storage space in my stomach sounded extremely useful, but what caught my interest more was the ability to incorporate stuff I eat into my body. If I ate a hunk of steel, did that mean I could turn my body into the same material? That sounded metal as fuck.


    Lastly, Undying Bastard was what I would argue as the safest choice that I would likely choose. After all, what other argument could you pit against the choice that literally offered the ability to not fucking die. Of course, the description didn''t say anything about being impossible to die, but it was heavily hinted to be the case. Moreover, my current state was already extremely hard to kill. What more if I gained a Class that further improved that aspect?


    I spent the next few minutes thinking, and I meant really thinking, which was very unusual for me. When was the last time that I took the time to truly think about an important decision that might decide my future? Never, actually. Even my most important decisions in this world, like becoming a damn Constable, were decided in less than a minute. I was never one for dwelling on hard decisions, because when life was already as stressful as it was, it was always simpler to just go with the flow and see where life took me. Admittedly, life took me in a very shitty situation most of the time, but that''s what I get for not thinking about things carefully.


    After everything that happened tonight, the burned children, Warner''s death, and Camille''s stupid ultimatum to Carmen that almost led to my demise along with Warner, I''ve had enough of my habit of not giving a shit about anything. That was a habit I developed in my past life when everything sucked so much that I had to adjust the way I thought accordingly to not give in to despair. Not giving a shit meant no stress felt, after all.


    But this was supposed to be a new life, and so Bob should also be a new Bob. No more of this stupid Bob who loves to remain stupid because life gets much simpler when you don''t know shit. As much as I wanted life to be as simple as working an honest job every day and doing a little hobby in my free time, life was not simple.


    At least, not currently. If I wanted to get that simple life that I craved so much, then I should start working towards it. The first step was to choose the correct Class.If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.


    After half an hour of deliberation, I finally made my decision.


    [Congratulations! You are now a Gluttonous Bastard. You have gained the Class Perk ¡®Eat All You Can.¡¯]


    [Eat All You Can - Your stomach now acts as an extradimensional storage space with an infinite capacity. Anything you eat is automatically stored inside and put in stasis. You can decide whether stored objects are to be digested, kept in storage, or regurgitated at will.]


    [You have gained the Active Skill ¡®Suck It Up, Buttercup.¡¯]


    [Suck It Up, Buttercup (I) Lv. 1- Upon activation, anything that touches your body is ¡®eaten¡¯ and automatically pulled into your stomach. Size, vitality, nature, and presence of mana in the object affect the mana cost of the Skill. Mana cost: Variable]


    [You have gained the Active Skill ¡®You Are What You Eat.¡¯]


    [You Are What You Eat (I) Lv. 1 - Replace your body''s composition with a material that you have in your stomach. Mana cost: Variable.]


    [Warning: Experience received from all sources are now reduced. Killing entities one Class Tier below you no longer yields experience.]


    The moment I chose my Class, a powerful burning sensation erupted all over my body for the umpteenth time tonight. But unlike the burning from the fire or the sensation of poison coursing through my veins, this variety of burning felt more ethereal and unreal, like phantom pain, and it also came with the electrifying sensation of mana.


    The pain didn''t last long. After half a minute, the burning receded and I collapsed on the table, my face landing right on the bowl of stew I hadn''t finished yet. If I knew the Class Evolution would be painful, I would have done it in a more private setting and not in front of a bowl of stew. Fortunately, there were few people in the cafeteria at this hour.


    The change that came with the Class Evolution immediately made itself known. I felt far stronger than before, and I instinctually knew that my strength had doubled in an instant. Before, I was confident that I could leave a large crater on a wall if I punched it. Now, I could shatter the wall entirely with a single punch.


    And even though I couldn''t test it right now, I instinctually knew that my body''s resilience had doubled as well. My bones were already extremely hard before my Class Evolution, but now, I may as well have a skeleton made of structural steel. My flesh could now absorb and dissipate force more effectively, my skin was more resistant to punctures, and my organs could take a hell of a lot more beating. Even my body''s natural rate of healing was made more robust.


    But despite the huge improvements to my physical body, the biggest change happened to my mana pool. I could feel my body utterly suffused with the electrifying sensation of magical energy like I had a very faint version of pins and needles. That''s because my mana reserves had ballooned tremendously from the pitiful cup it had been to an entire fucking water tank.


    Everything felt fucking amazing. My body felt so invincible that it honestly made me wonder if I made the wrong choice. If my physical traits had doubled from a Class Evolution that was supposed to focus on improving my mana, then how much would my body have improved if I chose Undying Bastard? I wouldn''t be surprised if it made my entire body indestructible.


    However, there was no point to these speculations. Don''t cry over spilled milkshake and all that shit, it was time to move on.


    After pulling my shit together, I headed straight to the showers to clean up before starting my preparations for the raid on Carmen''s mansion. The call time was still two hours away, but I wanted to spend that time thinking about my future plans after this fiasco was wrapped up.


    As I stood beneath the shower and let the hot water wash away the dirt and stress, I reassessed my decision to choose Gluttonous Bastard over Undying Bastard.


    First, I was already extremely hard to kill thanks to my Greater Regeneration, which was further compounded by my ¡®Unbreakable¡¯ Accolade that made sure nothing could mess with my healing. Unless something could completely disintegrate my entire body in one go, my ass was practically unkillable already. Further strengthening my unkillability would just result in diminishing returns, so I might as well invest in something else.


    That brought me to my second and most important point: I had a severe lack of versatility. Before my Class Evolution, my fighting style was composed of just two aspects: hitting things hard and outlasting my opponents. Against simple monsters, that was enough, but against smart people who already knew of my abilities? They could easily develop an ingenious way to defeat me, and when that happens, I''d be a sitting duck. The anti-healing poison used against me was just one example of it, and given this world''s magical shenanigans, I wouldn''t be surprised if there was a bajillion other ways to defeat me.


    Hence, I concluded that versatility was the name of the game. I needed something that had a lot of utility for various situations, and thank Skorm''s hairy ass that Gluttonous Bastard ended up bringing the versatility I needed. With how lackluster the descriptions of the Class Evolution choices had been, it was a complete gamble if the Class I chose ended up being the one I wanted. Fortunately, my new Class gave me such useful Skills that had plenty of applications.


    My new Class Perk ¡®Eat All You Can¡¯ was a massive addition to my combat capability. Aside from the infinite storage space in my stomach that I could fill with weapons and tools for various situations, the main prize was the ability to straight-up eat magic. It didn''t say so in the Skill description, but it definitely said so in the Class Evolution description. Coupled with ¡®Eat Up,¡¯ which allowed me to ¡®eat¡¯ anything that touched me, I was practically immune to magic attacks now, though there was the fact that Eat Up had a mana cost. But given that my new Class gave me a larger mana pool, hence that painful burning earlier, and would further improve it as I leveled up, the mana costs shouldn''t be too much of a problem.


    As for my other Skill, ¡®You Are What You Eat,¡¯ I could sense a lot of potential with it, but it was going to need a lot of testing. The description said I could replace my body composition with a material I had in my stomach, so did that mean I could turn my arm into a hotdog if I ate one? And if I cut off said arm, will it regenerate into a hotdog? That would stupid and funny, but it''d be useful.


    My new Class likely opened a ton of other possibilities, but I had no more time to dwell on them. The time left before the raid was dwindling and I had preparations to make.


    As I dressed up and made my way to the City Hall''s armory, I couldn''t help but feel eager for the upcoming battle. I''m gonna make that Carmen bastard regret having been born at all.


    ?????


    [Status]


    Name: Bob Dinkle


    Age: 35 years


    Level: 25


    Race: Human


    Class: Gluttonous Bastard (II)


    [Class Perk]


    Stubborn as a Roach - You no longer tire and natural regeneration does not consume calories.


    Eat All You Can - Your stomach now acts as an extradimensional storage space with an infinite capacity. Anything you eat is automatically stored inside and put in stasis. You can decide whether stored objects are to be digested, kept in storage, or regurgitated at will.


    [Languages]


    Arcadian


    [Passive Skills]


    Greater Regeneration (III) Lv. 1- Increases the rate of natural healing.


    Unarmed Mastery (I) Lv. 3 - Provides a boost to proficiency in unarmed combat and enhances the damage of unarmed attacks


    Physical Resistance (II) Lv. 9 - Reduces all physical damage taken


    Masochist (I) Lv. 4 - You gain strength proportional to the level of pain you endure.


    Poison Resistance (II) Lv. 1 - Slightly reduces effects of poison.


    Axe Mastery (I) Lv. 4 - Provides a boost to proficiency in wielding axes.


    Minor Heat Resistance (I) Lv. 6 - Slightly reduces the effects of heat.


    [Active Skills]


    Hard as Fuck (I) Lv. 5 - You can harden specific parts of your body, massively increasing their physical resilience. The number of body parts you could harden depends on Skill level. Mana cost: Low


    Blood Bag (I) Lv. 3 - Convert mana into blood inside your body. Mana cost: Moderate.


    Suck It Up, Buttercup (I) Lv. 1 - Upon activation, anything that touches your body is automatically pulled into your stomach. Size, vitality, nature, and presence of mana in the object affect the mana cost of the Skill. Mana cost: Variable


    You Are What You Eat (I) Lv. 1 - Replace your body''s composition with a material that you have in your stomach. Mana cost: Variable.


    [Traits]


    Divine Body - Your body has been constructed by a god. Your body recovers faster and is resistant to ailments.


    [Accolades]


    Champion of Carnage - The God of Battle and Carnage has chosen you as his Champion. Combat proficiency and battle intuition are significantly improved.


    Dauntless - You have fought with no fear or regard for death. You are now immune to magically-induced fear.


    Unbreakable - You have suffered through unimaginable pain that would have broken any sane man but still came out whole in mind and in body. Your mind is now unassailable from external influence and all healing on your body is Absolute.


    Brain-Damaged - You managed to continue fighting even while your brain was severely damaged. Your thought processes are now decentralized and can occur throughout your entire nervous system.

 Chapter 34

    I made a quick jaunt to the City Hall''s armory to get myself some gear for the upcoming raid. Unfortunately, the enchanted axe and armor I took with me earlier became unusable after taking on that massive explosion. Camille''s people managed to retrieve them in the aftermath, but they were nothing but scrap metal at this point. I honestly found it ridiculous that I managed to survive that explosion where heavily enchanted metal didn''t. Then again, my armor took the brunt of the initial damage while I mostly only had to deal with the heat.


    Is it just me, or do all the equipment I use end up getting destroyed within a day?


    I blame the craftsmanship on that one.


    The armory''s Quartermaster had a disgruntled look on his face when he saw me arrive. With a grunt, the corpulent man pushed his spectacles up his nose as he looked at me from behind the counter''s metal bars. ¡°If it isn''t our dear Constable. Once again, the equipment you borrowed from us has been returned beyond repair. This time, you even managed to destroy our most precious set of armor!¡±


    ¡°Hey, it''s not my fault some douchebag in the city loves blowing stuff up. The armor actually saved my life, so it did its purpose. You could build another armor, but you cannot replace a human life,¡± I said like a smartass.


    ¡°If you think your pathetic life is worth a whole set of Juggernaut armor, think again, moron. We''re already overpopulated with idiots like you while we only had that single set. Do you even know how hard it is to get one?¡±


    I shrugged. ¡°Can''t do anything about it now, can we? So get over it, chum. I''m here to get myself a new set of gear for the raid.¡±


    The Quartermaster looked like he still had a lot of nasty words to say to me, but he didn''t push it. ¡°I''ve heard of the raid. The Governor has given me explicit instructions to give you all that you need.¡±


    ¡°All that I need, eh?¡± Now that was just asking for me to abuse the shit out of it. So I would. ¡°Show me everything you''ve got.¡±


    As reluctant as the Quartermaster was, he let me into the vault itself where racks upon racks of weapons and armor were organized meticulously. Weapons were on the left side of the room and armor on the right. At the far end of the vault, a section for odd little trinkets was set apart.


    ¡°You are free to peruse everything, but do not touch anything unless I have given you explicit permission to do so,¡± the Quartermaster said. ¡°Now, tell me what you need.¡±


    ¡°A bunch of weapons and a suit of armor. I prefer axes, but I''ll take anything.¡±


    The Quartermaster looked at me like I was an idiot. ¡°What do you mean a bunch of weapons? You only need two weapons at most, unless you have hidden hands I''m not seeing.¡±


    ¡°I have an extradimensional space in my stomach where I can store a lot of shit,¡± I said. ¡°I want a lot of spare weapons in case I lose ''em mid-battle.¡±


    ¡°Fine, then. But I will let you take only ten weapons and not one more. I still have a lot of men to arm,¡± he said as he led me to one of the weapon racks containing all sorts of axes. ¡°These are all the axes we have. Take note that none of them are enchanted, and given your penchant for breaking your equipment, do not expect them to last long.¡±


    I picked up one of the smaller axes, which looked more like a cute toy in my large hand, and tried out my new ridiculous-sounding Skill, ¡®Suck It Up, Buttercup.¡¯ The activation was instinctual, and as soon as I felt my mana pool dip almost negligibly, the axe sank into my flesh.


    A menu popped up.


    [Stomach Content]


    Partially digested food


    Iron Battleaxe x1


    I grinned. Now that was fucking awesome. The food I ate earlier was even displayed, and I could feel that I had the choice to digest or expel the contents of my stomach at will.


    From what I understand, everything I put into my stomach is always put in stasis as soon as it enters, so if I wanted to keep myself fed, I have to manually choose to digest the food I eat or else it would remain as chewed food in my stomach. The reason why I have partially digested food in my stomach right now is due to the food I ate before I gained my Class Perk. As soon as I mentally chose to digest it, the partially digested food disappeared from the list instantly.


    It seems like I was also capable of instant digestion. I just hoped that it didn''t turn into instant shit in my colon.


    I tried regurgitating the axe, and I realized too late that the axe was too big for my esophagus to fit. If it was gonna come from my stomach, it would rip its way through¡ª


    The axe popped out of my open mouth smoothly. I didn''t even know how that was possible, the axe head was literally wider than my entire head. When I tried it several more times, I realized that the axe appeared out of thin air in the space just in front of my mouth. The axe didn''t emerge from my stomach as I thought it would, though funnily enough, I had to keep my mouth open anyway to regurgitate something.


    With my spirits high, I eagerly Sucked four more axes, and for variety''s sake, I also Sucked three spears and two swords into my stomach. The mana costs to Suck the weapons were very minimal and were quickly replaced by my mana regeneration. Based on how fast I got my mana back, I highly suspected that my mana regeneration fell under the ¡®recovery¡¯ that my Divine Body Trait boosted.


    [Traits]


    Divine Body - Your body has been constructed by a god. Your body recovers faster and is resistant to ailments.Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    My mana recovery was not as fast as my body''s healing, but it was still fucking fast. With how deep my mana pool was, I reckoned I could regenerate my full pool of mana in slightly less than an hour.


    The Quartermaster and I continued to the armor section where most of the pieces couldn''t fit my frame. Thus, we settled with outfitting me with armor pieces from mismatching sets until I looked like a goddamn bandit lord.


    Lastly, the Quartermaster brought me to the trinkets section. Before we approached the section, the fat man gave me a stern gaze. ¡°Under no circumstances will you use any sort of magic in this area. Do you understand?¡±


    ¡°Crystal clear, boss.¡±


    I soon learned why the Quartermaster made that earlier warning. These weren''t simple trinkets at all.


    They were fucking magical bombs.


    ¡°These are what we call mana-based explosive devices, or more colloquially known as MEDs,¡± the Quartermaster said as he gestured at the rack filled to the brim with black cylindrical objects with a button at the top. ¡°Invented by the famous Scientist, MEDs are the latest in warfare technology and are capable of completely turning the tides of battle.¡±


    ¡°Scientist?¡± I asked. And here I thought this world didn''t bother studying science.


    ¡°Yes, the Scientist invented these,¡± the Quartermaster said with a bit of reverence as he stared at the bombs. ¡°A phenomenal figure, that one. He rose to prominence after advancing Arcadia''s weaponry technology by decades, his first invention being the revolutionary device called a ¡®firearm.¡¯ They are still too weak to be practical, but research is already underway.¡±


    Hold on a gosh darn minute. ¡°Wait, I think something was lost in translation there. Are you referring to the Scientist with a capital ¡®S?¡¯¡±


    The Quartermaster looked at me weirdly. ¡°Of course I am, who else do you think I''m referring to when I said the Scientist? It''s a recently coined term, actually. The Scientist insisted on being called by that moniker, and from thereon, people who work with him are called by the title ¡®scientist.¡¯¡±


    That confirmed my suspicions. This Scientist dude came from Earth like me, and this crazy bastard was teaching this world how to create bombs. What a way to introduce terrorism in a fantasy world.


    ¡°So how many of these bad boys can I take with me?¡± I asked as I perused the racks that must''ve contained at least a hundred MEDs. Camille was packing some damn heat in here.


    The Quartermaster hesitated. ¡°The usage of MEDs require the direct approval of the Governor¡­¡±


    ¡°Which I already have,¡± I pointed out.


    ¡°Normally, Lady Camille specifies the amount that could be taken¡­¡±


    ¡°And she said you should give me all that I need, yes?¡±


    ¡°I''m sure a single raid only requires you a maximum of five MEDs.¡±


    ¡°I''m taking all of them.¡±


    The Quartermaster looked at me like I just shot his mother. ¡°What are you, daft?! What made you think that I''d give a lumbering idiot enough explosives to blast us all to the high heavens? Ten! You get ten and nothing more.¡±


    Too bad, but I suppose ten was good enough as a last-ditch surprise. I''ve had enough explosions for one night, anyway.


    ?????


    The time for the briefing eventually came, and I found myself sitting in Camille''s office while waiting for the others to arrive. It didn''t take long before Camille entered the office with a lot of people in tow. There were dozens of them, and the only ones I could recognize were Lance, Morgan, and for some reason, Big Mama. I had no idea what the big cook was doing here, but I reckoned her gruel was shitty enough to become weaponized.


    Camille gave me a nod as she took her place behind her desk, though she remained standing. The rest of the newcomers took their seats in the prepared chairs, with Lance and Morgan sitting to my left and right. Lance looked grief-stricken, which should mean Camille already told him of Warner''s fate. I wasn''t good at consoling words, so I just patted the young man''s back.


    While waiting for the briefing to start, I checked out the other people in the room. There were three distinct groups present: the first was composed of black-cloaked men and women who I assumed were Camille''s ninjas or spies or whatever, the second was a group of rough-looking fighters equipped with a variety of weapons and armor who I suspected were slayers, and the last was a small group of robed people led by an old man with a flowing white beard and bushy eyebrows.


    Before I could ask Morgan beside me who the last group of people was, Camille began the briefing. ¡°Let us start. I''m sure most of you already know of tonight''s situation, but I will be running through everything to make sure we are all on the same page. Earlier this evening, I ordered a raid on the Siren''s Call owned by Carmen Grayshield after we received intelligence of child prostitution being conducted in the establishment. Constable Bob and Senior Guard Warner were deployed on the scene with the mission of apprehending or eliminating the perpetrators and saving the victims. However, the brothel turned out to be a trap for our operatives. Upon their entry, the building exploded through the suspected use of MEDs, leveling the entire compound of the Siren''s Call as well as a portion of the red-light district. Seventy-eight people are confirmed dead as of this moment.¡±


    Camille paused as her face turned even more impassive. ¡°Senior Guard Warner was confirmed to be killed in action.¡±


    Lance choked back a sob beside me, and the black-cloaked people stirred restlessly, their faces etched with anger and frustration.


    Camille continued. ¡°Fortunately, Constable Bob''s set of Skills makes him extremely hard to kill, hence his survival and presence tonight in this briefing. After surviving the explosion, Bob was ambushed by five Dark Blades, all of whom are now eliminated.¡±


    There was murmuring in the room as everybody looked at me. I could understand. Even I was surprised that I survived that blast.


    ¡°I and Slayer Guildmaster Morgan arrived at the scene to assess the situation,¡± Camille continued. ¡°Unfortunately, the enemy took advantage of my absence and raided the prison underneath the City Hall. Several guards were killed and Camaro Grayshield, who was charged with attempted homicide and locked up in prison, was broken out by suspected assassins of the Shadow Guild.¡±


    My eyebrows rose in surprise. This was the first time I had heard about it, and it suddenly made me realize how cunning this Carmen bastard was. The massive explosion in the red-light district was to lure Camille away and kill me at the same time, allowing his assassins to rescue his son. Two birds with one fucking stone.


    ¡°That brings us to the present,¡± Camille said. ¡°We have compelling reason to believe that Carmen Grayshield is the perpetrator of these attacks. Hence, our mission tonight is to raid the Grayshield household and eliminate Carmen Grayshield. Before I proceed to the specifics of the mission, does anyone have questions?¡±


    The whitebeard old man stood up. Camille nodded at him. ¡°Guildmaster Helstrom.¡±


    ¡°I believe there is an error in your statement,¡± Helstrom said. ¡°Do you mean to say we must ¡®arrest¡¯ Carmen instead of eliminate?¡±


    Camille smiled, but it didn''t reach her eyes. ¡°No. We are to eliminate Carmen Grayshield.¡±


    Helstrom narrowed his eyes at Camille. ¡°Do not be stupid, girl. You speak of killing a noble, which is a crime in Imperial law.¡±


    ¡°My intelligence agents have found connections between Carmen and the smuggling ring we raided a few days ago that dealt in human slaves. Under the Imperial law that you tout, Magus Helstrom, the punishment for engaging in slavery is death. As Governor, I have the authority to order his elimination,¡± Camille said, then she narrowed her eyes at Helstrom as well. ¡°And please refrain from calling me names other than Governor, Magus Helstrom.¡±


    ¡°Carmen Grayshield is a noble, not some mundane peasant you can punish with impunity!¡± Helstrom exclaimed. ¡°To order his elimination on a raid in his own manse is the height of barbarity! You cannot do this!¡±


    Camille gave the coldest look I''ve ever seen on her face. ¡°Watch me.¡±

 Chapter 35

    The office was silent as Camille and the old fogey stared each other down. It was a waste of time, to be honest, but I was on Camille''s side here. There was no way I was allowing someone who trafficked children and hired assassins to kill me to just walk away from this unscathed. Carmen was gonna regret crossing me.


    I would''ve thought that this Helstrom dude''s attitude would get backlash from his own group, but they actually glared back at the Governor. I should''ve expected his followers to be as unreasonable as him.


    ¡°Is that so?¡± Helstrom replied at last as he waved his hand. At the gesture, his fellow robed colleagues stood up. ¡°If that is your stance, then good luck with your endeavor. The Mage''s Guild will not be participating in your mission. I''m sure you can handle it on your own with the help of that dumb brute of a Constable you have.¡±


    Woah woah, I was willing to keep my mouth shut because I wasn''t directly involved in their argument, but this arthritis-laden bitch just made the wrong move. Camille saw my expression and was about to intervene, but I wasn''t having it.


    ¡°We don''t need your old bones anyway, you senile old fuck!¡± I shouted. Once more, the office plunged into silence as everybody stared at me with slack jaws. Even Helstrom was in disbelief.


    ¡°That was an unwise move, Mister Bob,¡± Morgan said beside me, but he was smiling.


    ¡°A lowly peasant dares insult me?!¡± All the windows in the room suddenly shattered as a powerful light blue aura pulsed out of Helstrom. The aura was oppressive and pushed down on everybody in the room. ¡°I will teach you your place!¡±


    Shit was spiraling out of control, but I wasn''t too worried. I didn''t insult the senior citizen mage out of spite¡ªwell, I actually did, but that wasn''t the only reason. I wanted to test how my new Class fared against magic, and what better way to do it than to bait an easily riled and arrogant mage?


    Some might say that testing my new Class was not worth throwing away any chance of making connections with the Mage Guildmaster, but I wouldn''t want to be connected with an asshole like him anyway. He had the very same arrogant attitude as that young noble I tried to kill that set all this shit in motion.


    Besides, I already got my worth out of my actions, because I just discovered two important things. One, the aura emanating from Helstrom was made of mana. Two, I could Suck the aura touching my skin into my stomach to replenish my own mana pool.


    The discovery was huge. And since I was absorbing the aura, the oppressive sensation I was feeling before I activated my Sucking Skill was gone.


    Before I could taunt Helstrom into launching magic spells at me, another aura emerged, this time the signature scarlet of Camille''s. The scarlet aura pushed back the blue, but I could tell that Helstrom''s aura was more powerful than the Governor''s.


    ¡°Magus Helstrom!¡± Camille shouted, her sword drawn. ¡°Cease this instant or I will put you all under arrest for casting hostile magic in my office!¡±


    Before Helstrom could respond, the door to the office flew off its hinges as two heavily armored warriors stomped in. It was the two guards who always guarded the entrance to the Governor''s Office. They looked ready to kill as they glared at Helstrom. Like me, they easily ignored the oppressive aura, likely due to their enchanted armor.


    Helstrom snorted as he saw the guards, but his aura began withdrawing back into his body. He gave me a cold glare before turning back to Camille. ¡°This is the savage Constable you chose? How low House Grayshield has fallen. Then again, it was my folly to expect much from a Governor who valued peasants more than nobles. What a disgrace.¡±


    Helstrom moved to leave, his cohorts following behind him. I was about to call him a wrinkly prune, but even without looking, I could tell Camille was already staring daggers at my back.


    The armored guards looked like they wanted to arrest Helstrom, but Camille shook her head at them. With a nod, the guards returned to their posts outside.


    ¡°I''ve heard of your troublesome behavior, Mister Bob, but I didn''t expect it to be this bad,¡± Morgan said when Helstrom and his mages were finally gone.


    ¡°Hey, the old bastard started it.¡±


    ¡°Enough, Bob,¡± Camille said with a tired sigh. ¡°I told you to cease with your behavior of cursing, did I not? I will be deducting that from your pay.¡±


    Fuck, I forgot all about that rule.


    ¡°From now on, you are not allowed to talk in this meeting without my permission,¡± Camille said to me. ¡°Every word you speak without my permission is a deduction to your pay.¡±


    ¡°Got it.¡±


    ¡°That''s two words.¡±


    Dammit.


    ¡°As much as I''d like to blame our Constable for chasing away the assistance of the Mage''s Guild, their departure was already a foregone conclusion the moment my goal clashed with Helstrom''s, so let us not dwell on the lost firepower and return our focus to the mission,¡± Camille said, and the rest of the room seemed to agree. Some even gave me nods of respect for what I did, especially from Morgan''s people. This Helstrom guy must be a big asshole if everyone liked me after talking back to the old prune.The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    Camille continued with the briefing. ¡°Right now, Carmen''s mansion is blockaded by the City Guard. According to estimates, there are approximately fifty mercenaries manning the defense of the mansion, all of them Elites. Because of the high level disparity, most of the City Guard will not be participating in the raid itself, only the Elites. The rest will be limited to ensuring the perimeter is secure. We will be the main force tasked with breaching the mansion and hunting down Carmen.¡±


    ¡°How sure are we that Carmen is inside the mansion in the first place, Governor?¡± Morgan asked after obtaining permission to speak.


    ¡°Good question. As of now, we have no confirmed sighting of Carmen, but we do have reports of his wife being seen inside the mansion. Unless Carmen decides to abandon his family, we expect him to be holed up inside. As for the battle plan, we will try to keep everything as simple as possible.¡±


    And the plan turned out to be really quite simple. It was so simple that I would have liked it very much if not for one thing: I was going to be put front and center to soak up all enemy fire as a meatshield. The worst part was that I couldn''t even complain since Camille didn''t permit me to speak, and the damn woman knew it.


    To my surprise, nobody even seemed concerned for my ass. They just grinned at me as if I got pranked or something, except the prank involved getting obliterated by concentrated enemy fire.


    As if reading my mind, Morgan spoke to me. ¡°Everybody here already knows of your powerful regeneration powers, Mister Bob. It may not seem like it, but many eyes are upon you and rumors abound of your prowess. They are eager to see you in action.¡±


    I wanted to tell Morgan that they can fuck off, but I knew Camille was watching me closely, so I kept my mouth shut.


    The plan was as simple as it could get to prevent complications, especially since slayers weren''t good at mass teamwork like an army. I would be sent in first to soak up all enemy fire and make them waste their resources. Once I reached the enemy lines and began sowing chaos, the slayers would follow behind me. Couldn''t get any more complicated than that.


    After clearing the property surrounding the mansion, Camille''s ninjas would then infiltrate the mansion to scout it out while the rest of us would leave and wait outside the estate walls, which left a few people confused. Officially, the reason why we couldn''t breach the mansion straight away was the likely presence of Shadow Guild assassins guarding the inside of the mansion. However, I knew that Camille feared another Siren''s Call incident. If the mansion blew up similarly to the brothel and wiped out the raiding force and the Governor, the city was fucked.


    Once all the t''s and i''s of the plan were crossed and dotted, we didn''t waste more time. We made our way to Carmen''s mansion.


    ?????


    The estate of House Grayshield was a large plot of land as big as the compound of the Siren''s Call located in the residential district of the city. The entire perimeter was demarcated by a two-meter-tall brick wall that was more for aesthetics than defense, and beyond that wall was a well-maintained garden filled with sculptures and hedges, all of it illuminated by magical bulbs that made the entire place look like it was still day.


    And in the center of it all was the beautiful three-story mansion that sheltered our target. As far as mansions went, the Grayshield estate was very subdued in appearance, made entirely of brick with a predominantly gray color scheme and minimal designs. But subdued didn''t mean ugly. The entire structure looked so simple yet elegant, as if its owner didn''t care for ostentatious decorations but still valued proper appearances. It honestly warred with my image of Carmen. In my mind, Carmen was a decadent, lecherous pig of a person who would show off his wealth arrogantly, so to see his mansion to be this simple felt weird.


    As for how I was able to see the entirety of the Grayshield estate in all its glory, I was currently floating in the air courtesy of Morgan''s Force magic. Hovering more than a hundred meters almost made me shit my pants at first, but it only took me a few moments to acclimate and transform that fear into excitement. It wasn''t every day I got to fly. Floating with me were Camille and Morgan as we scouted out the soon-to-be battlefield.


    As far as we could see, the mercenaries were concentrated around the mansion itself, with only a token force patrolling the surrounding garden. There were about fifty mercenaries present, which matched our intel. Said mercenaries were staring at us as we watched them back.


    ¡°This is suspicious,¡± Morgan said. ¡°Our intel puts the enemy numbers at fifty, and it just so happens that all fifty mercenaries are outside the mansion? Even the marksmen, who would''ve been more effective if they were stationed at the upper floor windows, are out there in the open.¡±


    ¡°Maybe they just want some fresh air,¡± I said.


    ¡°The inside of the mansion is likely trapped extensively, which is why they can''t stay inside,¡± Camille said as she stared at the estate coldly, though there was a hint of bitterness there. ¡°To think that Carmen has gone so low as to sully the Grayshield estate as such. I will make him regret it.¡±


    ¡°Say, how come you don''t own your family''s mansion, anyway? Aren''t you the Governor?¡± I asked.


    ¡°The Grayshield estate used to be a joint ownership between Carmen and my father,¡± Camille replied. ¡°My father was assassinated before he could put me in his will as the inheritor of his shares of the mansion. As a result, the ownership of his shares became a dispute between me and Carmen, one that he eventually won in the Provincial Court.¡±


    Now ain''t that a bitch. Property disputes have got to be one of the shittiest situations to find yourself in, especially because they always occurred between relatives.


    ¡°Somebody killed the previous Governor?¡± If Camille was this strong at her age, I could only imagine how strong her father had been. Despite that, the dude still got smoked.


    Camille''s expression turned murderous for the briefest of moments before going cold. ¡°It is time. Get ready.¡±


    I suppose she didn''t want to talk about it, but I''d bet my left nut that Carmen sent out a hit for the man. It also explained why Camille had been so furious when it was revealed that there was an Enclave in town. Imagine having your father''s killer setting up shop in your own home and sponsored by your own fucking uncle.


    ¡°Are you ready, Mister Bob?¡± Morgan asked as he floated behind my back.


    ¡°No sane person would ever be ready for what''s about to happen, man,¡± I said as I curled myself up into a ball.


    Even though I couldn''t see him, I knew Morgan was smiling. ¡°You shouldn''t have suggested this entry method, then. You are a man of contradictions, Mister Dinkle.¡±


    ¡°I told you to call me¡ª¡±


    Morgan unleashed his magic, and a massive explosion of concentrated force slammed into my back and sent me hurtling toward the mansion like a meteor.

 Chapter 36

    I rocketed through the air at break-neck speed, the wind whipping against my face so hard it entered my mouth and made my lips flop funnily. Thank fuck I just underwent a Class Evolution because if not for that, Morgan''s magic would have already broken my spine in ten different places. As it was, my back only hurt a bit as if I just got the services of a sadistic masseuse.


    But I immediately forgot about my back pain as I neared my destination: the mansion''s front yard where a large group of mercenaries were shouting in alarm. I could tell they were veterans at the job because they didn''t even panic. As soon as they saw me rocketing through the air like a ballistic missile, their long-ranged units instantly began peppering me with projectiles. Skill-enhanced arrows and magical bolts flew my way, and I enacted my defensive measure: activating the Suck all over my body so that all projectiles that hit me would instantly go to my stomach.


    And then it happened. My mismatched armor, which I had painstakingly handpicked from dozens of armor sets just to find ones that fit me, immediately got Sucked. Not just that, but also everything else I wore underneath, leaving me as naked as the day Ma brought me out to the world.


    ¡°FUUUUCK!¡±


    The projectiles arrived, and though my plan worked and all the attacks were effectively Sucked, that was the last thing on my mind as I landed on the ground with an earth-shattering impact.


    ?????


    ¡°Send orders to Team 2 to reinforce our position!¡± Sennet shouted with desperation. ¡°Archers and casters, bombard that landing point with everything you have! Frontliners, surround the area and get ready for contact!¡±


    Sennet''s men were quick to obey his orders, their movements as slick as a well-oiled machine. Usually, it would have bolstered his pride to see such efficient teamwork in his mercenary company, Metal Fury. Unfortunately, today was shaping up to be a bad day.


    If Sennet had any say in the matter, he would have hightailed it out of the city the day the Governor put a new Constable in power. It was rare for a city to have a Constable. They were the bane of all criminals, and thus, they were under the constant threat of elimination by concerned parties. People appointed to the position of Constable were usually those that the nobles wanted dead but wanted their hands clean of any suspicion. Unlike in ages past, the position had been turned into one that symbolized certain death for the poor bastard appointed to it.


    However, things didn''t turn out as Sennet and everyone else thought they would. The Shadow Guild, known as the boogeymen of the criminal underworld, had attempted the murder of Shieldhold''s Constable twice and failed both times. It was stunning news that should have warned Sennet that things were not the way they should be, especially after they received news earlier of the Constable surviving the trap set especially for him in the Siren''s Call. Sennet should have left Shieldhold back then.


    Alas, Sennet''s security contract with his current client was inviolable. One just didn''t breach a contract made with Carmen Grayshield and expect to get off without consequences.


    Because of the security contract, Sennet had to guard the mansion from all attackers. It was supposed to be free money as no one was usually insane enough to attack the home of a noble. Unfortunately for Sennet, it looks like he was going to have to work for his pay tonight. And after he realized that it was the Constable himself who just landed in their midst, he would have to work hard.


    The air crackled with the noise of magic and Skill-enhanced arrows as the archers and mages bombarded the Constable''s landing point with everything they had. Everyone had already been informed of the Constable''s powerful healing capability, and so they flooded the area with a mighty barrage that aimed to reduce the man into nothing but ash as soon as possible.


    Fireballs, lightning strikes, explosive arrows, and anti-heal poison fogs were some of the powerful attacks the mercenaries sent flying towards the landing point, churning up dust that obscured the area.


    ¡°Is he still alive?¡± Sennet asked one of the healers. One of their abilities was to detect life and vitality even through the thickest of walls and fog.


    The healer was pale as he nodded at Sennet. ¡°The Constable''s vitality had never reduced a bit since we began the barrage, Captain. It is still flowing and bright and¡­ endless.¡±


    Sennet cursed. What kind of monster were they dealing with? ¡°Keep up the barrage! Don''t let¡ª¡±


    Sennet didn''t get to finish his sentence before his healer shouted in alarm. ¡°He''s moving!¡±


    A huge figure charged forth from the thick cloud of dust, colliding with the line of warriors surrounding the landing point. The men who tried to block the figure were sent flying like ragdolls from the force of the charge.


    The battlefield went quiet as the mercenaries stared at the huge figure. More than two meters tall, the man known as the Constable stood naked amidst the backdrop of the crater of his landing. Every inch of his body was packed with pure muscle, exhibiting no mark nor sign of the brutal barrage that they had unleashed on the man. His bearded face held a neutral expression as if this was just a normal day for him, his eyes roving over each of the mercenaries surrounding him.


    For a few seconds, the battlefield was completely quiet as the mercenaries stared at the Constable with apprehension. The quiet was broken when Sennet shouted at his men. ¡°What are you waiting for, you drooling idiots? Kill him!¡±If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    The moment Sennet finished speaking, the Constable''s gaze focused on him. The big man spoke. ¡°Ah, found the leader. Thanks for making my job easier.¡±


    The Constable opened his mouth wide, and then the same barrage of attacks they''d been sending toward the man came flooding out and obliterated Sennet''s position.


    ?????


    I was loving every damn moment of my new Class. Not only was I now practically immune to any projectile, physical or magical, I could fucking return them to sender.


    ¡°Captain Sennet is dead!¡± one of the mercenaries cried as I finished regurgitating all the attacks I Sucked onto the man who was giving orders. That should help sow more chaos in the enemy.


    ¡°You''re gonna die for that, exhibitionist!¡± a big warrior shouted in rage as he came at me, swinging his warhammer at my noggin. Like me, the bastard''s movements were slow, so I easily dodged his attack and swung my dual axes, executing a double chop on his neck. His armor got in the way.


    Before I could go for another strike, I felt more projectiles and magic striking me in the back only to end up getting Sucked. My new Skill was a powerful defense, but as I realized earlier mid-flight, it was not as absolute as I thought. Ordinary arrows were easily Sucked, but for anything that contained magic, I could only Suck maybe a tenth of their mana content before the rest ended up wreaking havoc on my body. The tenth I Sucked could then either be absorbed into my mana pool or regurgitated as a return-to-sender counterattack.


    But despite ninety percent of the attack still reaching my body, the damage was negligible. Any magic I couldn''t Suck had to go through my body''s natural resistances, and if they did pierce through my defenses, Greater Regeneration erased the wounds in seconds.


    I was nigh-immortal on this battlefield.


    More warriors arrived and surrounded me, which actually worked against their favor. The idiots just blocked their ranged allies'' line of sight.


    Blades and maces struck my body as the warriors charged in, but to my honest surprise, even those were vulnerable to getting Sucked in, leaving my enemies weaponless. The bastards were just as shocked as me.


    I quickly took advantage of the situation and began hacking at my enemies with abandon. Without weapons, all they could do was strike me back with their fists which did almost no damage. The poor fucks were screwed.


    As I slaughtered my way through the frontliners, reinforcements arrived and another barrage came raining down on my body. Are these guys stupid? Didn''t they learn yet that I could just return their attacks?


    But I soon realized that the reinforcements were an entirely different group of mercenaries who had no idea about my new capabilities. They didn''t even bother trying to coordinate with the first group as they poured everything they had at me. Looks like they''ll have to learn it the hard way.


    ¡°Stop it! He can absorb attacks and return them!¡± one of the mercenaries warned. His voice was drowned out by the noise of combat, and it took him several more tries before the reinforcements finally heard his warning.


    By then, it was too late.


    Like a crackhead unleashing his halitosis to the world, I opened my mouth wide and regurgitated everything where the enemy lines were thickest. Fireballs, thunderbolts, ice spikes, and all other sorts of shit came spewing out of my mouth and ravaged the mercenary formation, leaving them open and vulnerable.


    With an axe in each hand, I charged in.


    The mercenaries were still recovering from my attack when I began hacking and cutting the survivors apart. I stomped on the heads of those groaning on the ground, and those who were already standing were quickly cut down with a few chops.


    At this point, my mana pool was already at below half capacity. Each weapon that struck my body was quickly absorbed, and though Sucking each one only had a small mana cost, it accrued. I''d been Sucking everything sent my way since the battle began, and I now had more than forty assorted weapons stashed in my stomach.


    I decided to pause my Sucking in the meantime. A situation may come up later that required my abilities, and the last thing I wanted was for my mana tank to be dry. I could take these hits like a big boy anyway.


    As I continued chopping my enemies apart and shrugging off stabs and slashes, there was a loud boom as the front gate of the estate blew apart. In came Camille and Morgan, leading the charge with the slayers following close behind them. They made a beeline toward the mercenary formation in disarray and further worsened the chaos.


    Unlike me, Camille and Morgan''s Skills were more specialized towards wanton destruction, and seeing them in action was like watching two war gods on the loose. Camille was dashing all over the battlefield, a field of invisible blades slashing around her in a five-meter radius, making her a fucking mobile human blender.


    Morgan, on the other hand, was floating above like an arrogant god. He waved his hands, and then several mercenaries were instantly crushed to the ground into human paste. With another wave, the weapons of the dead levitated into the air and began slicing at the remaining survivors who were caught up fighting the slayers.


    It was a fucking massacre.


    It didn''t take long before the mercenaries realized they were in over their heads. A mere two minutes after Camille and Morgan''s entrance, the remaining mercenaries began surrendering and dropping their weapons. The slayers, who had been raring for a fight, looked utterly disappointed.


    ¡°Turns out it was easier than we thought, eh?¡± I said as Camille walked over to me. Despite the ease with which we slaughtered the mercenaries, her face was set in a deep frown.


    ¡°This is suspicious. These mercenaries are nothing but Elites,¡± Camille said. ¡°Where are their Masters?¡±


    ¡°Hey, don''t look a gift mouth in the horse, or something like that. I''mma take my blessings where I could,¡± I said. To be honest, I''m surprised these mercenaries were Elites. They didn''t feel that strong to me. I already knew that my Class was powerful, but was it to the extent that everyone in the same Class-tier as me was mere fodder? ¡°I''ll have to admit, though. The last thing I expected for a man being besieged was to let his men die outside his mansion. Sounds stupid.¡±


    Morgan floated down on the ground beside us. ¡°Governor, the mercenaries have been restrained and are being transferred to the City Guard as we speak. How shall we proceed?¡±


    ¡°We stick to the plan,¡± Camille said as she eyed the mansion, which was completely dark inside. ¡°Give the order to evacuate everybody. I''m sending in my operatives.¡±


    ¡°Orders received, milady.¡± Morgan bowed before flying away.


    Camille gave a signal, and out of the shadows, the black-cloaked people emerged and moved toward the mansion without a single noise. It looked eerie as fuck.


    ¡°Get moving, Bob. And find some clothes before we enter the mansion,¡± Camille said as she looked at me. When her eyes passed over Little Bobby, she snorted. Out of amazement, I bet.


    We left the estate grounds and waited for Camille''s operatives to report back. In the meantime, I regurgitated my armor that I Sucked in earlier and put them on. That should stop people from staring at Little Bobby. The female slayers had been doing it shamelessly for the past few minutes.


    Eventually, one of the operatives returned and reported to Camille while I listened in. ¡°My lady, we detected no traps or hidden assassins in the mansion. However, we found Carmen inside. He is alone in his parlor and wishes to speak with you.¡±

 Chapter 37

    After receiving the operative''s report, Camille called for Morgan''s presence to discuss the unusual development.


    ¡°This doesn''t make sense at all,¡± Morgan said with a frown. ¡°He of all people should know that negotiation is out of the picture the moment he detonated a building in the city. The only possibility I could think of is that Carmen intends to spring a trap on you the moment you enter the mansion, Lady Camille. Even if your operatives detected no traps, it does not mean there is none.¡±


    ¡°That is what I suspect as well, especially since his family is nowhere to be found,¡± Camille said. ¡°But the question is, how do we spring that trap? We still need to reach Carmen, and though my operatives have seen the man, he is inside a protective barrier anchored on the mansion itself that would require powerful magic to breach, which is why they haven''t killed him yet.¡±


    ¡°I have no idea how this barrier stuff works, but if it''s anchored on the mansion, can''t we just burn the entire thing down?¡± I asked. ¡°Skips the problem entirely, doesn''t it? Destroys the barrier and roasts the fuc¡ª I mean, criminal to death.¡±


    Camille gave me a sharp look. ¡°There will be no burning houses, Bob. Even though I want the man dead more than you do, burning a building down with a man trapped inside is a step too far.¡±


    I shrugged. I suppose it was a tad bit cruel. Doesn''t mean the cunt didn''t deserve it, though. ¡°Alright, alright, no burning. I just suggested it since he''s all alone in there. Where''d his family go, anyway?¡±


    Camille''s expression turned dark. ¡°They were smuggled out of the city after that explosion in the red light district. One of the Guard Captains and several of his men went rogue and disappeared during the chaos. We caught one of them, and he admitted that they smuggled Carmen''s family out of the city, but not Carmen himself. For some reason, my uncle stayed.¡±


    ¡°You know, you should really start cleaning up the City Guard,¡± I said. I still remember the time when the corrupt bastards tried to kill me in broad daylight. ¡°Anyway, it doesn''t seem like we have much choice here but to trigger the trap, whatever it is. I''m gonna save everyone the hassle and volunteer to be the one to trigger it. We all know I''m the one who''s gonna have to go in there eventually.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Bob.¡± Camille said that so earnestly I thought she was shitting me. ¡°Don''t worry, we won''t send you there unprepared. But first, tell me truthfully, did you evolve your Class?¡±


    ¡°Oh, right, I forgot to tell you. Yeah, I just did so before we left the City Hall. I can now Suck everything that touches me into my stomach, including magical attacks. Pretty amazing, eh?¡±


    Morgan looked curious. ¡°Including magical attacks, you say?¡±


    ¡°Please refrain from testing that right now, Guildmaster,¡± Camille said, and the old man chuckled. ¡°Bob, are you confident that you could face any trap inside there without dying?¡±


    I shrugged. ¡°I''m not exactly a hundred percent sure, but if he blows me up again, I can say with confidence that not even that won''t even come close to killing me anymore.¡±


    Camille nodded. ¡°Good. Now this is what we''re going to do.¡±


    ?????


    Now some might be thinking that my decision to volunteer in walking into a trap alone was stupid, and I would have agreed in the past. But the thing is, I''ve already decided to take this world a bit more seriously, and that entailed trying to make myself as strong as possible. Now, that explosion at the Siren''s Call was a bitch I never wanted to experience again, but there was a difference between ¡®want¡¯ and ¡®need.¡¯ If I wanted to be strong enough that no bastard could threaten my life in the future, then I needed to experience events like that explosion again, because that single event had rocketed my Skills by so much it wasn''t even funny.


    And as I was starting to realize, the gains were higher the more risk I put myself in. This recent battle with the mercenaries, even though I killed a whole bunch of Elites, didn''t net me much experience. Only enough to get me to level 26, and no Skill level-ups at all. I was already warned that Class Evolutions significantly reduced experience gains, but I didn''t realize it was this bad.


    I guess I''ll just have to man up and get myself into a situation shitty enough to give me good experience, but not shitty enough to send me to an early grave.


    However, saying all that was easy. Now that I was standing right in front of the mansion''s entrance, I was starting to regret my decision to volunteer. What if the next bomb to blow up in my face was a fucking nuclear bomb that vaporized me all at once? That would be funny. Shitty, but funny.


    ¡°Bob, can you hear me?¡± Camille''s voice said. She was nowhere near me. Instead, her voice came from the pendant I was now wearing on my neck, which acted like a phone on loudspeaker. I also wore a pair of enchanted glasses on my head that transmitted the images it saw back to a mirror back at Camille''s base camp.


    I was basically live-streaming this shit.


    ¡°Loud and clear,¡± I responded. ¡°Now what do I do? Do I knock on the doors?¡±


    ¡°This is a raid, Bob.¡±


    ¡°Right.¡±


    I kicked the doors with as much force as I could muster, sending the things flying off their hinges and revealing the dark interior within. And when I said dark, I was talking ¡®under the bed¡¯ dark. I couldn''t see shit in there.


    ¡°I forgot to bring a light.¡±


    ¡°By the gods, Bob.¡±


    After a short intermission where one of Camille''s shadow operatives delivered a mana-powered lantern to me, I entered the mansion with the confidence of a virgin about to pop his cherry.


    The first room I entered was what I assumed to be the ¡®welcoming hall¡¯ or whatever rich fucks called it. It was a long hall lined with fancy knight statues to my left and right, with a bright red carpet in the middle that led to a massive staircase that led to the second floor. A huge crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, more expensive than all the money I''ve earned in this world, I bet.This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it


    The hall would have looked amazing in the daytime, but now, it just looked like a haunted movie set. The light from my lantern cast eerie shadows all over the walls, and the knight statues looked like they could come alive at any moment.


    ¡°Where do I go?¡± I asked the pendant.


    ¡°Take the hallway to the right. That should lead straight to the parlor.¡±


    I followed Camille''s directions and started walking, wary of any signs of a trap triggering. But it was as Camille''s operatives said: there were no traps at all. The mansion was completely silent and empty save for my heavy footsteps.


    I eventually arrived at the door that led to the parlor. Without preamble, I kicked that shit down and stomped into the room, axes already in hand as I took in my surroundings.


    The first thing I noticed was the big, glowing dome in the center of the large room. It glowed a light blue and was clear as glass, allowing me to see the thin old man sitting primly on a cushioned chair in the center. He was dressed impeccably in a dark red suit that matched his hair, a small table set before him where tea and biscuits were laid out. Despite his old age, his back was straight and unbent as he drank from a teacup daintily. He looked relaxed and unconcerned, but his eyes were focused entirely on me as I stomped into the room.


    ¡°You did not have to kick the door down, Constable. It was unlocked,¡± the old man said as he sipped on his tea. ¡°Was knocking not part of the lessons my dear niece has taught you?¡±


    ¡°Oh, I do know how to knock. I''m gonna knock your ass out once I crack open that shell you''re hiding in, asshole.¡±


    Carmen chuckled. ¡°What a vulgar man you chose to become a Constable, Camille. For a perfectionist like you, I never would have thought that you were the one to willingly appoint him to the position. And what I didn''t expect even more was how you didn''t meet me yourself. Finally showing some cowardice?¡±


    The situation was very weird. I''d have expected Carmen to be furious once we met him, what with his mansion being raided and his mercenary army wiped out. Instead, all I was seeing was a smiling old man happily sipping on his tea while speaking as if he had all the time in the world.


    ¡°Do not presume to know who I am, Carmen,¡± Camille said through the pendant, her voice extremely cold and expressionless. ¡°Though I suppose you had a glimpse of who I really am earlier this morning. Did you like my gift? Your son did squeal like the pig he was when I sliced off his finger.¡±


    ¡°That was indeed an unfortunate turn of events,¡± Carmen said, betraying no emotion at all. ¡°But I will admit, that was a good move, dear niece. You forced my hand which not many people could do. I should have expected nothing less from my brother''s daughter. You were as ruthless as Conan back in the day.¡±


    The pendant went briefly quiet before Camille''s furious shout went through. ¡°Don''t you dare sully my father''s image! He was the most merciful man this city has known!¡±


    ¡°That is what he would have wanted you to believe,¡± Carmen said. ¡°But tell me, Camille. Have you ever wondered how I was able to maintain a criminal empire beneath Shieldhold''s shadow all these years? Even while your father was alive? As a Governor, you of all people should know that it is not an easy feat without the support of those in power.¡±


    I didn''t like where this was going, and Camille seemed to agree. ¡°Bob, destroy the barrier and kill him.¡±


    ¡°You got it.¡±


    I first tried brute force by slamming an axe on the barrier with my entire strength. The axe head collided with tremendous force, but the first to yield was the damn axe handle.


    ¡°Do not be so hasty, Camille. Don''t you want to learn more about who your father truly was?¡± Carmen asked, unconcerned that I was assaulting his barrier. ¡°We were partners, did you know? Under our father''s guidance, we built Shieldhold up to its prosperous state, and when the time finally came, we decided that your father would rule in the open as the benevolent Governor while I would watch over from the shadows.¡±


    With my axes useless, I resorted to my fists. Using my Skill ¡®You Are What You Eat,¡¯ I replaced the material of my hands with the steel ingots I Sucked in during my preparations earlier. My flesh quickly morphed into shiny steel, and with the added weight of my metal hands, I began walloping on the barrier with abandon. Each hit shook the air with the force I was exerting, and the ground I was standing on was even cracking.


    But the barrier did not budge even slightly.


    ¡°The thing with being a noble in power is that one could never survive on their own,¡± Carmen continued. ¡°Arcadia is like the ocean. To be the biggest fish is to devour the competition, and the competition is fierce. Simply having money is never enough, because there will be those who will covet it, those who can smell riches like how sharks sense blood. So nobles must be ready to defend what is theirs through any means necessary, or if the situation demands, capitulate to the bigger fish.¡±


    Carmen stared straight into my eyes. Or rather, at my glasses that transmitted everything to Camille. The old man''s eyes were cold and empty, like that of a psychopathic killer. ¡°Your father and I were willing to do anything to protect the city we have built with our own hands. Did you think the city became as prosperous as it is through peaceful means? Conan and I spilled a lot of blood to reach this point, only to have everything undone because of what you did, Camille.¡±


    ¡°That''s a lot of bullshit to justify smuggling slave children,¡± I spat as I continued punching the barrier. ¡°Cut the crap and just admit that you lost, you old fuck. Your smuggling ring is dead.¡±


    Carmen suddenly started laughing uncontrollably, to the point that the old man was wheezing and coughing. ¡°Oh, you foolish imbecile. That smuggling ring wasn''t mine. It belonged to a bigger fish. I was only forced to let their merchandise pass through the city. But now that their merchandise was lost under my purview, they''ll see House Grayshield as their enemy.¡± Carmen''s expression turned flat. ¡°Shieldhold is doomed all thanks to your actions, Camille. Decades of sacrifice gone just like that, all because Conan loved his naive daughter too much that he was willing to keep her in the dark about the dirtier part of ruling.¡±


    Carmen stood up. ¡°That is why my family and I are leaving the city. I sought out this last meeting to give you this last warning, my niece. House Hawke owned that smuggling ring, and they will stop at nothing to keep their hands clean of any association with this slavery business. They will twist the narrative and tell the Emperor that it was House Grayshield who owned that child smuggling ring, thus turning all attention to you. I already did my best to remove what evidence I could by blowing up the Siren''s Call, but there will be other things that I missed. It''s all up to you now to face the consequences of your actions, Camille.¡±


    I expected Camille to answer back with a scathing response, but there was none at all. The pendant was completely quiet.


    Carmen chuckled at the lack of response. ¡°For all her outspoken ideals and visions, she could be easily overwhelmed.¡± Then his gaze sharpened as he focused on me. ¡°As for you. You have proven to be quite an annoying thorn in my side. I look forward to seeing how you will survive the oncoming storm because the business between us is not done.¡±


    ¡°Damn right, you are. I''m gonna fucking kill you, and if you think you''ll leave here alive, you''re mistaken.¡±


    I stopped walloping the barrier like an idiot and brought out my Sucking Skill. I saved this as a last resort since Morgan warned me that powerful barriers like these went volatile the moment their magical structure shenanigan was tampered with, something about the flow of power getting messed up and triggering a chain reaction or something. The most positive outcome was the barrier simply exploding. The worst outcome was all that volatile energy focusing on me and vaporizing my entire body on the spot.


    So with the possibility of getting completely annihilated, I placed my hands on the barrier and started Sucking. A shit-ton of energy began channeling into me.


    Carmen''s eyes widened. ¡°What are you doing, you buffoon? You''ll kill us all!¡±


    ¡°Not so smug now, are you? I''m going to¡ª¡±


    Everything fucking exploded.

 Chapter 38

    For the second time that night, the city of Shieldhold was rocked by an explosion with me right in the center of it all. Business as usual.


    But unlike the previous explosion, I didn''t even come close to being dead. The barrier''s explosion was weaker than the one that leveled Siren''s Call by several magnitudes, and it didn''t produce any heat or flames. Instead, the explosion consisted of a powerful shock wave that felt like a giant hand punched me, sending me flying through several walls until I emerged from the mansion itself.


    Despite all that brutal punishment, the only injuries I incurred were bruises all over my body which were already disappearing by the time I landed in the garden outside. My landing sent dirt flying everywhere and crushed the well-maintained hedges that decorated the garden.


    If I had a nickel for every time I was sent flying into the air, I''d already have several. Thank fuck my Class Evolution made me durable as a tank.


    I stood and patted the dirt off my torn clothes. From how I was consistently getting battered and bruised, I didn''t even bother wearing armor anymore. It would just be a waste of good armor. Besides, I could turn my flesh into metal now, making me far more durable than any armor. Heck, I hadn''t even tried out using my Skill Hard as Fuck while my body was transformed into metal yet. That combination was going to make me indestructible.


    I made my way to the mansion that was still mostly intact. The parlor was fortunately located far to the side of the building, leaving the rest of the structure intact from the blast. Still, what the explosion did manage to reach was now nothing more than rubble. I went over to check the source of the explosion, only to have my jaw dropped.


    The area that had been enclosed by the barrier was completely untouched. Amidst the rubble was a perfect circle of clean ground that the explosion hadn''t reached at all. Carmen was gone, along with the cushioned chair, table, tea, and even the fucking carpet. All that was left were magical-looking scribbles on the ground written in glowing blue lines.


    I had a bad feeling that Carmen just escaped from right under my nose.


    When Morgan floated over to where I was, he shook his head. ¡°A teleportation enchantment. More expensive than having the entire City Hall constructed ten times over, but we should have expected it from the richest man in the city.¡±


    ¡°Can we use it to teleport where Carmen is?¡±


    ¡°That is out of the question, I''m afraid. Teleportation enchantments are just vehicles. It can get you to places, but without a proper destination in mind, we will not be able to follow our quarry.¡±


    Now that is just great. All this bullshit just to have our target escape our grasp. If I Sucked the barrier right away instead of conversing with the bastard, would I have managed to kill him? Doubtful. He would have had the same reaction time as he did when I began messing with the barrier and would''ve just teleported right away without finishing his villain speech.


    Before I could further stew in my thoughts, Morgan floated down beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder. ¡°Now is not the time to dwell on this, Mister Bob. The Governor¡­ I believe Camille needs you.¡±


    When Morgan said that, I thought Camille just needed to debrief me or something. What I didn''t expect was for the woman to be bawling her eyes out in the war tent set up just outside the Grayshield estate.


    The tent was completely empty save for the crying Camille, a table with a map laid out on it, and the large mirror setup that transmitted my livestream from earlier. When I left earlier, the tent was filled with several operatives and even some Guard Captains. Now, all that was left was Camille.


    Now, first of all, I''m gonna say one thing: I was not good at comforting people. I was a pro at the opposite, but telling me to console a devastated woman was like ordering a bear to breastfeed baby Tarzan. I was just not the right person for it. If not for Morgan pleading with me outside to just try, I wouldn''t have taken a single step inside the tent.


    But you gotta do whatcha gotta do.


    I approached the trembling Camille, who was sobbing her heart out on the ground right in front of the mirror. The usual stoic expression was gone, replaced with a tear-stained face with snot dripping down her chin and hair sticking all over her sweaty skin. Camille looked disgusting.


    When she saw me, she crashed into my chest and cried hysterically.¡°Oh, Bob! Please! Tell me it''s all a lie! Please!¡±


    I patted her head, trying my best to be consoling. ¡°I don''t know what to tell you, Camille. You''re the one who could tell the truth from a lie. I don''t know shit about anything that''s going on. I didn''t even understand half of what Carmen was going on about back there.¡±


    She trembled in my arms as she struggled to reply. Seeing Camille like this was both heartwrenching and awkward. With how young she was, it was like consoling a daughter I never had, except that said daughter was my boss and had the power to dock my pay. But her situation was even made more tragic by the fact that she could identify lies. It seems that everything that Carmen said had been the truth no matter how much she didn''t want to believe it.


    ¡°I-I¡­ I saw signs,¡± Camille forced out between sobs. ¡°Back then, Father always m-met¡­ with people outside his itinerary. He said they were just business associates. But some of them had the c-crest of House Hawke.¡±


    ¡°That doesn''t prove anything, does it? How sure can you be that they were making illegal deals back then?¡±


    ¡°House Grayshield is not supposed to interact with House Hawke,¡± Camille sniffled. ¡°House Hawke is part of an opposing faction of nobles. Dealing with them in any way was tantamount to betraying our Provincial Lord, who belongs to a different faction. When I confronted Father about it, he just said it was nothing serious, and I believed him like a fool.¡±


    It was indeed a bit stupid to believe something like that, but then again, I also treated every word from Ma''s mouth as the truth and nothing but the truth. I could understand where she was coming from. ¡°I guess your dad got you real good, eh?¡±Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.


    It turned out that was the exact wrong thing to say. Camille''s sobs came back stronger as she hugged me tighter. ¡°Bob, it hurts! Father betrayed us! He betrayed me! I trusted him! He was my hero and he fooled me! He was never the man I thought he was!¡±


    The next few minutes consisted of me slowly rocking back and forth while patting the sobbing Camille''s head. I was way out of my league on this one. I honestly preferred having my organs obliterated in the middle of an explosion than being here at this moment. At least that one was way simpler to handle. All I had to do was outlast the blast.


    When Camille''s sobs finally started winding down, I chose my words very carefully this time. ¡°I never got to know your father, but he''s a dick for what he''s done. However, he did try to keep you from getting caught up with all the mess he''s made, so at the very least, you know that he wasn''t all fake with you. His love, for instance. I''m sure that was true. If he didn''t care for you, he would''ve just raised you to be a cold, ruthless ruler. But he didn''t. From what I''ve seen of you, you uphold the ideals you believe in through your words and actions, and I think your father sought to protect that aspect of yours by keeping you in the dark. I would''ve done the same if I was him. Er, not like I want to be your dad or anything.¡±


    Camille sobbed again, but she suddenly laughed out of nowhere after a few moments. ¡°I don''t want you to be my father as well, Bob. That is¡­ a nauseating thought.¡±


    ¡°Well, fuck you too.¡±


    Camille laughed before crying once more. It was honestly getting ridiculous, but I suppose everybody handled grief and stress differently.


    It took five more minutes before Camille finally calmed down, though she didn''t seem to have any intention of letting me go anytime soon. ¡°I''m¡­ I''m sorry for losing control like this. It''s just¡­ everything just happened too fast. Warner''s death, and now this. I''m¡­¡±


    ¡°You don''t need to apologize,¡± I said. ¡°Nobody expects you to be an unfeeling woman. Heck, if you hadn''t been affected by all that, I would''ve started thinking that you were as bad as Carmen. Good thing that I followed the right person.¡±


    Camille smiled softly at me. ¡°Thank you, Bob. Truly. I don''t¡­ I never thought I''d still have somebody by my side after everything that''s happened. When Father died, my fianc¨¦ was there to console me, and when he died, Warner filled that role. And now, Warner left me as well. After that explosion in the red light district, I thought I was finally all alone, but fortunately... I''m glad you survived, Bob.¡±


    ¡°It''s gonna take more than a bomb to take out my ass,¡± I said. ¡°Wanna share your story?¡±


    ¡°I think¡­ not. Next time, maybe.¡±


    ¡°Alright, alright, no pressure. Now, if you''re done staining my shirt with your snot, I think it''s time to go back to the City Hall. I''m hungry and I need a bath.¡±


    ?????


    A month after the night raid on Carmen''s mansion, a lot of things changed. First and foremost was the City Guard. The blatant corruption in their ranks was brutally plucked by the root as Camille led a very thorough investigation. The City Guard had been under Carmen''s pockets for years, and evidence of their corruption cropped up like weeds when news spread that Carmen was no longer top dog of the criminal underworld. A lot of dirty laundry was aired out, and the next several weeks were a shitshow as dozens of guards and Guard Captains were put under suspicion. Carmen had been protecting them for decades, and when the old bastard escaped the city, there was nobody to stop Camille from interrogating them one by one using her lie-detecting ability.


    Corrupt government officials and guards were exposed by the dozens like rats scattering from a burning house. Most were sentenced to many years in prison. A few were sentenced to death.


    While all of that witch-hunting for corrupt officials was ongoing, Camille still took the time to reward me for my ¡°exemplary service.¡± An awarding ceremony was held where she pinned a ¡®Medal of Bravery¡¯ on my formal Constable uniform in front of a wide audience in Guilds Plaza and everybody cheered. Some nuthead in the audience even cried out ¡°He''sh the Shavior of Shlaves! Hero of Shieldhold!¡± and the crowd quickly started chanting ¡°Hero! Hero!¡±


    It was satisfying and embarrassing at the same time.


    I wasn''t the only one awarded with a medal that day. Morgan was awarded as well for his loyalty to the city, and even Big Mama got to climb the stage. It turned out the large woman could make food with magical effects, primarily healing and strengthening effects, and that food saved the lives of many slayers and guards who got caught up in combat or got hit by a stray brick from the explosion. Who would''ve thought that her gruel would end up saving lives?


    However, as nice as the medal and the fame were, nothing could beat the real reward that Camille gave me. For my ¡®heroic deeds,¡¯ she gave me a fuck ton of gold and a free room in the Grayshield estate! Now how fucking splendid was that? From now on, I could stay there as long as I wanted free of charge, and that included breakfast, lunch, and dinner.


    It was fucking amazing. The food was cooked by a master chef that knew his shit, and I always had a hot bath prepared for me every night by the servants. After every bath, they would give me a nice relaxing massage complete with fragrant incense that helped me forget most of my problems.


    It was heaven.


    Of course, not everything had been a relaxing walk in the park. I still had my job as a Constable which would last for eleven more months as stipulated in the contract I signed. So I continued doing my job of safeguarding the city by going on missions that Camille issued. Missions were scarce, but they were a fucking pain to accomplish.


    In the one month that passed, I accomplished two missions for Camille. The first was eradicating a violent gang in one of the poorer parts of the city. Their leader, a level 29 Gang Boss, had been stupid enough to kill a Guard Captain and attract undue attention to himself. Camille sent me after the bastard like an attack dog, and I had to slaughter my way through dozens of gangbangers who thought they''d be the ones to defeat the ¡®Hero of Shieldhold.¡¯ Like the smugglers, the gang made its hideout in the sewers, so I had to fucking wade through knee-deep shit to kill the Gang Boss. The bastard didn''t even give me enough experience to reach the next level.


    The second mission was more time-consuming. There were reports of a bandit group raiding merchant caravans along one of the roads that led to Shieldhold and witnesses claimed there was an Elite-tier Bandit Lord. Once again, Camille sent me out to search for the bandits in a huge forest, and it took two damn weeks of wandering the forest like an idiot to locate their camp. The raid didn''t even take more than a few minutes. The moment I killed the Bandit Lord, his men surrendered straight away.


    Somehow, the mission being easier than the journey annoyed the fuck out of me.


    That bandit mission was three days ago, and I was now presently lounging around in my room in the Grayshield estate while munching on succulent fruits like a king. I may look like a lazy bum, but two weeks of wandering around in a forest looking for bandits was shitty enough to warrant this. I deserved these days of relaxation, especially after that hectic first week of having nightly visits with assassins. As the youngsters always say: gotta have a work-life balance.


    There was a knock on the door, and before I could even answer, Camille entered while carrying a map. She looked worried. I could smell a new mission from a mile away.


    Dammit, so much for work-life balance. And if Camille herself met with me instead of sending for a messenger, things must have been really serious.


    ¡°Bob, get dressed. We have a situation,¡± Camille said as she dragged over a table and placed the map over it.


    ¡°I hope it ain''t some bandits hiding in a forest again. I swear I''m gonna burn the entire woods down if that''s the case.¡±


    ¡°By the time you''re done with this mission, you''d wish it were bandits,¡± Camille said as she looked me straight in the eyes. ¡°There are cultists in the city, and they worship the God of Carnage.¡±


    Well shit.


    END OF ARC 1