ã€ŠDances with Rogues: Champion of the Unnamed Godã€‹


 Chapter One: One hour, forty-seven minutes.

    Part One: Rogue Trip

    Chapter One: One Hour, Forty-Seven Minutes

    The universe was silent. A microsecond earlier, the constant hum of existence had swelled to a monstrous, ear-shattering crescendo. And then, there was nothing. Everything was gone. I faced an endless blackness stretching in every direction. Or I think it was me in the middle of it. The concept of ¡°me¡± felt slippery, fading in and out. I reached back, searching for a sense of who I was, but there was nothing, just emptiness, like the world around me. A blank space where something used to be. The idea of ¡°before¡± felt just as unreachable, like the vague blur of a dream where time doesn¡¯t exist.

    NEW QUEST:

    WHAT THE F?

    White words appeared in the black universe. Helvetica, I thought. Or maybe Arial? Yeah, definitely Arial. Why would anyone, especially me, know the difference? And, really, why would I care? But it seemed like the critical thoughts weren¡¯t setting in yet. Unimportant shit was all I could lock onto. My mind wasn¡¯t fully functional; I didn¡¯t know who I was, let alone where, when, or anything useful. The words floated to the top of my vision, like I was watching some VR simulation I couldn¡¯t escape. More text scrolled below at a careful, almost considerate pace:

    You don¡¯t know who you are. You don¡¯t know where you are. Your very existence is now a mystery.

    THIS QUEST CANNOT BE DECLINED.

    TO COMPLETE THE QUEST, YOU MUST:

    OPEN YOUR EYES.

    LOOK AROUND.

    REWARDS:

    YOU WILL KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, BUT YOU MOST LIKELY WILL NOT KNOW YOUR LOCATION.

    YOU WILL RECEIVE FURTHER QUESTS.

    YOU WILL RECEIVE 5GP.

    I opened my eyes. It was no easy task, by the way. My eyelids felt glued shut. The moment I pried them open; light blasted me like a supernova at point-blank range. I slammed them shut, trying to block it, but it still seeped through my eyelids. After a moment, or maybe a year, who knows, the intensity seemed to dial down. Carefully, I tried again, opening them just a sliver. Blurry shapes of warm light and shadow emerged. I opened them open a bit more, letting the world seep in. It wasn¡¯t even that bright, but it felt like my eyes had never seen light before.

    QUEST UPDATE:

    WHAT THE F?

    YOU HAVE OPENED YOUR EYES.

    As my eyes adjusted, the words blinked into my vision over the fading light. The blinding light thing had subsided, and the room I was sitting in started to come into focus. The smell of hay and barn animals came online, which was weird. And I was in a barn. A fucking barn. A mother fucking barn.

    It was rustic, with bulky wood beams hammered together with square nails and no lights, fans, or heaters around. The metal items looked rusty and handmade, with nothing that looked machine-tooled. Except for my chair, of course. Because that would be just crazy.

    I was strapped into a middle airplane seat.

    QUEST COMPLETED:

    WHAT IN THE¡­

    REWARDS:

    YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE. BUT NOT THE LOCATION.

    YOU CAN NOW ACCEPT QUESTS

    5GP.

    A small, brown fabric sack fell into my lap with a soft clink, it was tied at the top with a bit of twine. I just stared at it, not sure of what to do exactly.

    ¡°Hello,¡± I said quietly, looking at the little sack. I was talking to a sack. Go figure. Worse yet, the voice that came out was raspy, my vocal cords seeming to have trouble lining up right. I coughed quietly, trying to sort out my throat.

    Around this time, the reboot of my brain finally finished, and information started filling my brain. Regan. My name is Regan...Regan Summer. And I was still sitting, evidently, in the middle seat on a flight from Denver to Phoenix. Looking down, I saw I was wearing my black Target jeans, a pair of black Chuck Taylors, a Flock of Seagulls T-shirt, and my Colorado beanie on my head. My phone was wedged between my thighs on the seat, and my new sack of gold coins was sitting right in my lap. My fingers were gripping the armrests so tightly they ached.

    The next step in the bootup sequence was the sounds of the world around me¡ªbasic barnyard noises, being as how I was seemingly in a barn. A sheep, a goat, and several chickens were making their usual barn animal noises. Outside, through the gaps in the wood beams, I could hear the breeze rustling and pigs snorting at each other. Dust swirled in the sunbeams, stretching down through the holes in the roof. I was facing a large, closed barn door.

    NEW QUEST:

    SURVIVE.

    Your name is Regan Summer. You come from the city of Denver, Colorado. You were on an airplane heading to Phoenix, Arizona. You are now sitting in a barn, in an airplane seat. You are not safe here. You have to leave this place to survive. The immediate area is controlled by a band of hostile orcs that will kill you on sight. Your current level needs to be higher to fight them successfully. You must clear the area and find a safe place without being captured, or you will face a most gruesome death.

    THIS QUEST CANNOT BE DECLINED.

    TIME TO COMPLETE QUEST:

    ONE HOUR, FORTY-SEVEN MINUTES.

    REWARDS:

    SURVIVAL

    UNLOCK THE WHISPERER

    FINE LEATHER GLOVES

    6GP

    ¡°One hour, forty-seven minutes,¡± I whispered out loud. My soft brain was still trying to grasp the concept of me just being me at the moment. The idea of time was still a bit on the theoretical side.

    A timer appeared in the lower right corner of my vision, counting down hours, minutes, and seconds. I instinctively reached toward the ticking numbers; it was like a 3d movie with subtitles; my fingers just pushed behind the digits, like they were an overlay in my vision. Orcs? What the fuck? Like, actual orcs, Lord of the Rings-style? The whole idea seemed ridiculous. Orcs and quests and whatever. But here I was, in seat 25B, in the middle of a creepy-ass, Friday the 13th: Part 3 barn. Same airline chair I¡¯d boarded at DIA, now sitting in a barn. Orcs or no orcs, what in the ever-mother-fucking hell?

    And quests? Like in a video game? I¡¯d played Witcher and Skyrim, so I got the concept, but this wasn¡¯t it. This was not a game. Or was I some test subject in a government experiment? One where they pluck some random chick off a flight, drug her up, and drop her into VR hell? I reached up and touched my face. Nothing. Just me with no helmet, no goggles. Fuck, I didn¡¯t even like Skyrim all that much, it looked too damn cold.

    And orcs. Now that I thought about it, orcs would be terrifying in real life.

    I closed my eyes, giving myself a couple of breaths. I could feel my body in the seat, cramped between two metal armrests, minus the middle-aged woman on my left by the window and the cute guy on the aisle to my right. It felt the same. Tense but the same. Only now, seats 25A and 25C were occupied by a barn, orcs, and presumably, certain death.

    Naturally, I picked up my phone to check it. According to the screen, it was 10:22 p.m. on March twenty-fourth, about 45 minutes after takeoff. I swiped, and there was my Home Screen: a photo of me and my sister smiling up at me from last Christmas. Megan was the pretty one, with big blue eyes, a bright smile, and wavy blonde hair, a perfect this and that. I was the one with the trouble spots: breasts too small, butt too big, tummy too soft, mousey hair. Mom used to call us her Sun and Moon. Megan played volleyball; I played chess. Megan loved boys and couldn¡¯t keep her hands off them. I liked both girls and boys, but I was still a virgin. Yes, a twenty-six-year-old virgin, fuck you very much.

    Megan and I are twins, practically polar opposites, but we love each other fiercely. I flipped to contacts and hit the call icon for Megan¡ªno signal bars, of course.

    ¡°Well fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity McFuckFace, Fuck!¡±

    Pressure started building behind my eyes, and my heart began to race. Memories flooded in. I¡¯d landed a new job with an airline and was flying to Phoenix for training. I wanted to travel but couldn¡¯t really afford it. Dad thought it was a great idea; Mom thought it was a waste of my college education. Buried in student loans, I¡¯d had to move back home. Mom didn¡¯t mind as long as I was working. I drove Dad¡¯s old CRV. I remembered... masturbating while watching something on Netflix last night? Couldn¡¯t recall what.

    I¡¯m pretty sure my car keys were in my carry-on, but where the hell was the overhead bin? How am I supposed to drive home if the bin is gone? My phone had no service. Could I even listen to music?

    My breathing grew shallow, my vision darkening at the edges as I struggled to catch my breath. I fumbled with the seatbelt. My phone slipped out of my hand, bounced off my shoes, and landed in the straw at my feet. I couldn¡¯t reach it¡ªthis stupid seatbelt had me pinned.

    NEW QUEST:

    SURVIVE.

    The words appeared again like a little reminder to me that I needed to take this shit seriously. So, I read them. And then I reread them. I reached down and pulled up on the buckle, and the belt swung off my lap and clanked against the side of the seat. Just let it happen. I stood, the dirt and straw crinkling under my shoes. I picked up my phone and the bag of gold and stuffed them into my pockets.

    ¡°So,¡± I whispered to the fading words. ¡°Where am I?¡±

    You are in a barn. You do not know your location. You have to leave this area in the next one hour and forty-four minutes to survive.

    ¡°Not helpful. Is that all I get?¡±

    No response came from the floating words. I presumed that was a yes. I walked to the barn''s large door and gently pushed it. It gave a little before bouncing back against my hand. It must have been braced from the outside.

    ¡°It¡¯s like chatting with a tech support bot. What are orcs?¡± I whispered.

    They are hostile towards you and will attack you on sight. Your level is too low to fight them.

    ¡°Can you tell me anything?¡±

    Information is rewarded upon completing Quests and or gained from your firsthand experience or collection.

    ¡°You know what? Fuck you.¡±

    Yes, I say fuck a lot. Fuck you if you have a problem with that.

    I moved to the sunny side of the barn. Luckily, the animals seemed tame enough and didn¡¯t make a fuss with me around. Pressing my hand to the wall, I peeked through a crack. Outside, I saw a semi-circle of small wood huts with thatched roofs around a fire pit. Next to it, carcasses hung on a wooden rack, presumably to dry out or smoke. I guess I¡¯d slept through the medieval meat-smoking segment in history class. I had no idea how people used to prepare meat.

    About half a dozen orcs milled around. I mean, of course, they were fucking orcs. Orcs are orcs. They are what you would expect to find: big, green-skinned, hulking brutes, just as advertised. They had to be at least three hundred pounds, with dark green skin, massive muscles, arms dangling to their knees, and tiny bald heads. Their faces looked pig-like, with upturned noses and tusks poking from their lower jaws. Their eyes were tiny and spaced wide, and they had this dim, detached way of looking around like they didn¡¯t process the world so much as¡­ just noticed it was there. Was that judgy? Am I a fantasy-world racist?If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.

    Most of them were covered in black tattoos or ritual scars. Some wore just loincloths; others wrapped themselves in single pieces of fabric or fur. Mostly, they were just lazing around. One leaned against a hut, while others grunted at each other in a language, or what sounded like one. It had rhythm, but their vocal cords weren¡¯t designed for human words. I hated to say it, but it was like hearing pigs trying to talk. Their laughter came out in high-pitched squeals. I realized it wasn¡¯t actual pigs I¡¯d been hearing. One was squatting by the fire pit, poking it with a stick.

    ¡°Oh shit,¡± I whispered. ¡°They¡¯re not just gonna kill me, are they?¡±

    If you do not escape, you will face a most gruesome death.

    Panic reared its ugly head again. This wasn¡¯t reality. I struggled with having to live with my parents and never being able to find a decent razor to shave my legs. My mom¡¯s friends were always trying to rope me into MLM scams, and my TikTok algorithm only sent me cats doing cute stuff and girls jumping on trampolines. Okay, I actually liked my For You Feed. Why add fucking orcs to the mix? Yeah, no. And you know what? That goat staring at me was freaking my shit out too.

    I moved over to the shady side of the barn and had a peek. There were a couple of buildings but no sign of any of the village occupants. In the distance between the two buildings, I could see the tree line of a forest and what I presumed was safety.

    Okay, Murder World, I¡¯ll play your game. The course of action seemed obvious: escape on the side with no orcs, make a run for the trees, and lie low long enough to survive.

    The barn walls were made of wooden planks, standing about five feet tall from the floor to the first crossbeam. Each plank was a foot wide, maybe three-quarters of an inch thick, nailed from the outside at the top and bottom. I sat down and gave the bottom of one a few gentle kicks, hoping I could wiggle through. But then again, I wasn¡¯t exactly high school skinny anymore. Let¡¯s just say the COVID fifteen, and my freshman fifteen, come to think of it, had stuck around and even found a way to flourish. Screw society¡¯s beauty standards.

    The plank pushed outward but was bucked up against dirt and leaves piled up on the ground outside. But I was consistent and steady. I had to kick just hard enough to push the plank out but not so hard to alert the locals. After about fifteen minutes, according to the timer in my vision, I managed to get the beam pushed back enough to lift it off the ground. The upper nails groaned as I leveraged them out with the plank. I let out a little hiss as I got splinters in my right palm. Worst day ever.

    I wedged into the opening, quickly realizing how grossly optimistic I¡¯d been about fitting through a twelve-inch gap. With a huff, I started tapping gently on the upper part of the next plank, working it free from the top down. It was slow going, but I could take my time with over an hour and a half left on the timer. After fifteen more minutes of tap-tap-tapping, I finally managed to ease the top of the plank down and slip out of the barn.

    A high-pitched voice squeaked out. ¡°Huh?¡± It seemed orcish to me.

    I was only one step out when I heard the orc on the left, next to the front of the barn. I looked over at him. He looked at me. He was standing with an armful of firewood. There was a moment when neither of us did anything. For me, it was sheer panic. For him, I think it was his general disbelief that he was seeing what he was seeing. I smiled weakly and waved at him, you know, just trying to be all non-confrontational. Did I just fucking wave at him?

    My mind erupted with visions of angry green monsters jumping around. I could feel the adrenaline rush fill my body as the lizard brain kicked the panicking captain out of the chair and took over the controls. I followed the plan and dashed into the space between the huts.

    I was fully embracing the concept of fight or flight¡ªemphasis on the latter. As fast as I could pump my legs, I ran and quickly closed the distance to the huts. There also didn¡¯t seem to be any more orcs on this side.

    ¡°HUMAN!¡± The creature bellowed behind me. I cleared the tiny village and made my way to the open field that led to the forest.

    The horror of my reality was starting to sink in. From my vantage point in the barn, there were two huts, a grass field, and then the forest''s edge. However, this was different when I was in the middle of things. The grass was a waist-high grain field, and the woods were more like a half mile away. Instead of jumping into cover, I would be exposed all the way. And full disclosure: I wasn¡¯t exactly a track star. I found watching the Olympics exhausting. But the plan was all I had to work with.

    I hit the brakes. I wasn¡¯t looking at the world through a quarter inch slit in the wall anymore; I was now dealing with full-blown reality. I paused long enough to take in the current environment. The village was nothing more than I had seen. The other side was up against a steep hill that would have been just as brutal to try to climb as the miserable field was to cross. The sound of squeals from the orcs echoed as the alarm was sounded. It wouldn¡¯t be long before they would be on me.

    So, I ran. But in a flash of either stupid or brilliant, I belted toward the right-hand hut I had just passed. The plan of the dash for the cover was still on, but the forest was just not a viable option. I banked on a bit of misdirection, and while the orcs made for the field, this might buy me enough time to take off in another direction with a strong enough lead to get away.

    I dove to the ground at the foot of the hut and pressed my body as close to the ground as I could. The grass was high on this side of the building, and I was hopeful none of those things would be looking back as they raced forward. I tried to steady my breathing. My body ached, with arms and hands scraped up from rolling on the ground. The orcs ran by on either side of the hut, grunting with effort and squealing at each other. I cautiously rolled to my side to see. I counted six of them, all running into the field.

    I crawled around the outer side of the hut, wanting to avoid getting between the two small buildings. The noise of my pursuers was getting further away. On the side, I saw the small wood pile from which the orc pulled the logs he was carrying. Next to it was an axe.

    It wasn¡¯t a woodcutter¡¯s axe; this was a combat axe with a single, curved blade on one side. The handle was crafted from pale wood, almost white, and runes adorned the blade¡¯s edge, etched in an elegant style, the meaning of which made absolutely no sense to me. It reminded me of a badass metal guitar. My guess is orcs didn¡¯t worry much about tool specificity. The axe was nearly as tall as I was, but I picked it up because why not? Despite its size, it felt surprisingly light in my hands. It gave a faint, buzzing vibration for a moment, and then floating words appeared in my vision.

    NEW ITEM:

    RAZOR MANDOLIN ENCHANTED AXE OF LEGENDARY QUALITY

    This axe has been in the possession of a prominent family of dwarves for many generations, and then one day, poof! It¡¯s gone. The circumstances of why it¡¯s gone are not necessary right now. But keep in mind, it¡¯s extremely valuable. More valuable than you. The axe applies the following benefits: Plus ten to strength, plus ten to dexterity, plus fifteen to attack, and seventy-five to damage. Like I said. This is worth more than you, and while it is a great item, it may lead to more trouble than it¡¯s worth. Careful with it.

    I gasped, almost losing my breath as a wave of strength rippled through my body. I think I was experiencing plus ten to Strength and Dexterity, whatever that meant.

    ¡°Magic Axe,¡± I whispered. ¡°Okay, Then.¡±

    I crept around the corner and slinked past the back of the barn to where I had seen the orcs before. I wasn¡¯t sure where to go, but heading up the hill on the other side seemed the only sensible escape route. At least the knucklehead creatures weren¡¯t coming back yet.

    ¡°Human.¡±

    The beast was mainly facing away from me. It was the one staring; he was just gazing off into space, muttering to himself with little grunts and snorts, as merry as could be. Beside the log, he was sitting on lay a ceramic jug tipped on its side. That explained his lack of enthusiasm for getting up and moving.

    ¡°Human. Human. Stinky, squishy human,¡± he muttered. A drunk orc didn¡¯t seem much dimmer than a sober one, not that I had much experience. Holding my axe across my chest, I sidestepped behind him, moving toward the cover of the row of huts. I hoped my pounding heart wasn¡¯t loud enough for him to hear because, in my head, it was all King Diamond in my chest. Blood rushed through my ears and face, my entire body pulsing with adrenaline. I steadied my breath, taking one step at a time. That is, until I tripped over an exposed root, hitting the ground with a thud and a grunt.

    With surprising agility, the drunk orc spun around to his feet.

    ¡°Human girl.¡± He grunted, staggering toward me. Standing and spinning seemed to take most of it out of him, and he swayed back and forth there for a second. From the waist of his loincloth, he produced a dagger with a wavy blade on it. It was old and rusty, but still, with his muscle mass, he could probably kill me with a corncob.

    I tried to get up, but panic turned my legs into goddamn jelly. But my hands refused to drop the axe.

    ¡°No,¡± I gasped, holding the axe in front of me defensively. ¡°Please don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°Gonna poke human girl.¡± He grunted as he closed the space between us with a few unsteady steps. ¡°Lots of pokes. Lots of holes.¡±

    He came up to me, his dagger raised. I swung the axe at him with everything I had. And I missed as he leaned back. The weapon just chopped into the ground with an unsatisfactory thump. And that would be my first and last day in Murder World.

    The orc squealed. It was ear-piercing. Not anger or rage, but pain. The axe was embedded in the dirt a couple of inches, but it had also passed through and chopped off half of the toes like they were made out of butter. Emerald-green blood sprayed from the severed ends and filled my nostrils with the smell of copper. I wrenched the axe out of the dirt and tried to get to my feet, but his hulking form was bearing down right on top of me.

    I lifted the axe to swing again, and the orc batted at it with his dagger, knocking it aside. His fist came crashing down at me. I leaned back, and it bounced off my forehead with a painful Thump! I was thrown back, my vision blinded by flashing lights, and my ears rang. All the muscles in my hands and body clenched, and I rolled over and over on the ground.

    DEBUFF:

    MINOR CONCUSSION.

    YOUR MOVEMENT WILL BE 25% SLOWER FOR THE NEXT THREE MINUTES.

    -25VP

    The lights faded as I lifted my throbbing head off the ground. I was on my stomach with the axe beneath me, still gripped in my aching fingers. As I pushed off the ground, my head pounded, and the spots kept coming. Everything was moving more slowly. I managed to roll onto my side and got up to one knee.

    The death blow from the orc never came. Despite my disadvantage, the orc didn¡¯t make a move toward me. He stood, panting, swaying on his feet. He was so shit-faced that he could barely stand. The missing toes probably didn¡¯t help. For a brief moment, we both kind of just looked at each other.

    He suddenly lunged at me. I lifted the axe again and took another swing, reaching as high as possible from my kneeling position. This time, it connected right below his chin, neatly slicing halfway through his neck.

    His squeals were silenced before they came out and were replaced with burbling as he struggled to breathe. His free hand tried to cover his gaping throat as he came down on top of me, his dagger scraping painfully across the side of my neck before slipping out of his hand. It was close. Too fucking close.

    The green crap poured all over me. I coughed and choked as it sprayed into my mouth, nose, eyes, everything. It was horrifying. The world spun. An overwhelming wave of nausea rose in me, and the vomit quickly started shooting. Accompanied by coughing up the nasty green blood, both pipes were spraying out of me.

    DEBUFF:

    TILT A HURL

    TIME REMAINING: 5 SECONDS.

    -3VP

    The vomit wouldn¡¯t stop. I had some food in my stomach, lunch from the airport, but that was it. As the orc collapsed next to me, I rolled onto my side and puked again and again and again as a timer ticked down in my vision; all the time, the world spun like a, well, a tilt-a-whirl.

    At the end of five seconds, after I had spewed the last of my bile, which blended in nicely with the orc blood, everything stopped. All was quiet and still. The orc lay next to me, no longer moving or breathing. I was drenched from head to toe in stuff that I didn¡¯t even know existed up to that point.

    ¡°F¡­F¡­Fuck.¡± I was sitting there. Orc blood and the remnants of a twelve-dollar sandwich all over the face of Mike Score, and a dead motherfucking Lord of the Fucking Rings, ugly, green monster, was right next to me. My throat burned, and my abs were sore from vomiting.

    I used the axe handle to get to my feet; my entire body quaked, but I wasn¡¯t dead. There was still no sign of the orcs. I could hear them yelling at each other, but the sounds were still very far off. The dead one was, well, dead. So, Yay. I looked down at his prone form.

    The familiar words of whatever it was appeared above the body.

    CORPSE:

    PRAIRIE ORC

    LOOTABLE ITEMS:

    SICK STICK ENCHANTED DAGGER

    CRUDE, HAND-DRAWN MAP

    ORC LOIN CLOTH, SOILED.

    The dagger, the loincloth, and a small, folded piece of parchment paper glowed on and next to the body. I snatched up the dagger, which glowed and vibrated in my hand.

    NEW ITEM:

    SICK STICK ENCHANTED DAGGER OF SUPERIOR QUALITY

    A favorite among sadists and masochists alike, the sick stick applies the Tilt a Hurl debuff for five seconds upon any successful attack. In addition, the Sick Stick also adds three points to dexterity and one point to strength when wielded.

    I tucked the dagger into my back pocket and carefully slipped the folded parchment from the orc¡¯s waistband. The map was crude, for sure, complete with not one but three sketches of penises doodled along the edge, clearly the guy¡¯s obsession. The layout showed the huts, the barn, the field, and the hill. About one hundred and fifty yards to the left and around the hill, there was a road I could use to make my escape.

    I started jogging. Fifty feet in, I was pretty sure I¡¯d broken my personal record since high school. I held the axe over my shoulder with my left hand and the Sick Stick in my right. The ¡°boosts¡± from the two weapons made me feel light on my feet, and the jogging felt almost effortless. I wove between the huts, then veered left along the base of the hill, following a worn footpath in the grass. I kept an eye on the field, but it looked like the morons had charged straight into the trees on the far side. Not the brightest, but I had to admire their tenacity.

    Once I rounded the hill, I spotted the road, barely wider than the worn path that led to it. But it stretched away from here, and away from here was infinitely better. Instinctively, I went right, keeping the hill between me and the orc village. The quest timer was still ticking down. I had one hour and three minutes left. All I could do was keep moving, hoping to find a place considered ¡°safe¡± by whoever had assigned me this quest.

    The landscape was rugged and hilly, with patches of green grass, wildflowers, and dusty red earth. As it wove through jagged hills, large, smooth red rocks cropped up along the road. I couldn¡¯t see far enough to get a sense of where I was. Finally, I noticed the overcast sky and the long, fuzzy shadows. It was late afternoon, wherever this place was, which meant darkness in two or three hours. The valley was already starting to cool.

    My mind was starting to light up after operating in instinct mode for too long. I killed somebody. That big gross thing was dead because of me.

    ¡°Fuck!¡±

    I stopped, dropping the axe on the ground. As I did, all strength left my body, and I just collapsed onto my knees in the middle of the dusty road. The blood, the spray. It was real. It was fucking real. I was covered in it and could smell and feel it. I was on a flight to Phoenix less than an hour ago. There was a fucking airplane seat in that barn back there. Where was the plane? Where the Hell was I? Was I even who I thought I was?

    I thought about Megan, Mom, and Dad, you know, the only people in my life who were probably wondering where I was. My stomach twisted as I pulled out my phone, hoping for some miracle. But, of course, nothing. Then I realized the damn thing was still in airplane mode. I switched it off quickly, holding my breath for a split second¡ªstill nothing. No service. I scrolled through my last texts with Megan, which were just the usual ¡°Good luck¡± stuff. She¡¯d mentioned she might try flying out to join me for the weekend if she could squeeze it in. Typical Megan, always busy but always trying. Nothing from Mom, unsurprisingly, but Dad had sent a quick, supportive note before I left. Now, though, it felt like a relic from another life. Did they think I was dead? What the hell happened to the plane?

    It was time for the breakdown. Just let it happen.

 Chapter Two: Most of the threats In my life were from my student loan servicer.

    Chapter Two: Most of the threats In my life were from my student loan servicer.

    ¡°Whoa there!¡±

    A deep male voice echoed through the rocky valley. I was still in mid-breakdown when the man¡¯s voice thundered over me. I gripped the axe and sprang to my feet, a surge of borrowed strength filling me. My mind was racing with all kinds of stinkin¡¯ thinkin¡¯ as I tried to puff myself up and look intimidating. The streams of ugly tears and my snotty nose didn¡¯t exactly help the look.

    There were four of them. Another orc-like person was towering well over six feet in the middle. He was built more like a human, with his limbs and torso looking more proportional, just big. He had light green skin and ape-like features. He held a long metal hammer, which he grasped in both hands and unlike the prairie orcs, he was fully clothed in leather armor, complete with a helmet with holes cut out for his long, pointed ears. He had dark green dreadlocks hanging out behind.

    Next to him was a man in a navy blue hooded robe; his hands were up in a wary pose, the fingers bent at odd angles. He looked wiry, with tight skin over veiny arms. I couldn¡¯t see his face clearly since he had his hood up.

    Behind them, a young woman with a bow drawn and the same kind of armor as the orc stood, her eyes leveled at me. She had a strange face, elongated with a wide mouth and a very pronounced chin. She had chestnut-colored skin, a crazy curly head of hair, and a crown that looked like horns.

    The last figure was another robed woman leaning casually on a large staff. Her silvery-grey robes flowed around her like a dress, accentuating her curves and generous bust. Her golden curly hair cascaded halfway down her back, catching the light against the soft fabric.

    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± The orc said. ¡°We have business down this road and are just walking by.¡± Despite his size and appearance, his voice was mellow and sophisticated, like a documentary narrator. It was strange.

    ¡°Stay the fuck back!¡± I yelled. I felt the words come out of me. But the feeling was distant. Blood rushed to my face, and my hands wouldn¡¯t stop shaking. ¡°This has been a fucked-up day!¡± I bellowed, tears welling in my eyes again.

    ¡°We are just walking by.¡± The orc repeated. He lifted his massive hammer and slipped it over his shoulder into a strap that held it. ¡°We have a quest in the village about a mile down the road.¡± He took a tentative step forward, his hands up.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I panted, the energy revving up in me. I was getting ready to flee or fight, but the archer made me nervous. ¡°I have a quest, too.¡±

    ¡°Ah shit,¡± the robed man said, lowering his hands. ¡°She¡¯s got the axe.¡± His voice was raspy and sounded like a British gangster on TV.

    ¡°Many parties were on it.¡± The orc said. ¡°You got there first. It¡¯s okay. We¡¯re not gonna break the rules for some gold.¡±

    ¡°Did the words give you the quest?

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°The floating words. My quest is to survive. It¡¯s still ticking down.¡±

    ¡°Hang on, Kev,¡± the robed man said to the orc. He then turned to me and stepped forward. ¡°Oi, you said it was a timed quest? ''Ow long was it for, then?¡±

    ¡°An hour and forty-some minutes.¡±

    ¡°Ah, Hells.¡± The robed man said. He took another step. ¡°How much time you got left?¡±

    ¡°Fifty-three minutes.¡±

    ¡°Alright, love, here''s the deal: we''ll lend a hand with your quest, you do the same for us, sound good?¡±

    ¡°Um, sure.¡±

    He turned around to the rest of his party. ¡°We gotta sort out them orcs in that village in the next fifty minutes, all right?¡±

    ¡°Why?¡± asked the archer.

    ¡°She''s like me, but she''s a bit fresher.¡±

    There was a moment when the group of three looked at each other in silence. The pretty one with the staff still looked on mainly with indifference.

    ¡°Okay then,¡± the orc said after the moment was over. He pulled the large hammer out again and gave a couple of test swings. ¡°We¡¯ll take care of the orcs, and you can give us the axe.¡±

    ¡°No, Kev,¡± said the hooded man. ¡°She gets a cut, but not a whole. Judging by the look of it, she''s already taken down one, so she''s earned her bit.¡±

    ¡°Fine,¡± the Orc said. He nodded his head and locked eyes on me. ¡°We help you; you hand over the axe, and we will give you half a share of the reward when we return it. You agree to the terms?¡±

    ¡°Let me hang on to it until we¡¯re done. It helps me run better. Then you can have it, I guess.¡±

    ¡°Works for me, love.¡± The robed man said. ¡°I''m Jinx, this big fella''s Kev, and them two birds over there are Heather and Gem.¡± The archer girl lowered her bow down. I didn¡¯t realize how much tension that thing caused me while it pointed in my direction.

    ¡°Thanks,¡± I said.

    ¡°Before you say anything else, here''s a tip for ya. You gotta guard your identity on the road. This ain''t Earth, love, you¡¯re on Nya now. Dishing out your real name here can land you in a world of bother. So, get used to playing it close to the vest. Now, what do we call ya?¡±

    ¡°Regan,¡± I answered. Then I thought for a second. I already blurted out my first name. Shit. ¡°Regan Moon. And you obviously haven¡¯t been to earth in a while.¡±

    ¡°Listen, Regan Moon, I don¡¯t look it, but I came here the same way as you. Right now, you need to fall in with us. I¡¯ve been in yer shoes, you and me come from the same place.¡±

    The group immediately broke into a light jog, and I joined in next to them.

    ¡°I''m sure you''re proper confused. We''ll look after ya, don''t worry.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what the fuck is going on.¡± I was still not breathless from the jog. The axe was terrific. ¡°There¡¯s orcs and shit.¡±

    ¡°Hey,¡± Kev said. ¡°We aren¡¯t all the same.¡± He looked at me, seeming a bit offended.

    ¡°I mean orcs and magic and crazy fucking things. He almost fucking killed me.¡±

    ¡°You say fuck a lot.¡± Kev the orc said.

    ¡°Yes, I say fuck a lot!¡± I bellowed. ¡°You¡¯d say fuck a lot if you, I don¡¯t know, woke up someplace and had¡­weird stuff be real.¡±

    ¡°Don''t fret,¡± Jinx said. ¡°It''ll all click into place soon. For now, let''s get you somewhere safe. Then, you''ll meet The Whisperer.¡± He smiled at me. He was actually pretty young, even though he sounded like an old sailor. His face looked alien, with pointed ears and bright purple eyes. He had no facial hair or any hair at all. His cheekbones were high and sharp, and he had a Roman nose that didn¡¯t seem to stop. ¡°There ain''t much point tryin'' to explain things right now. It''ll only make things more bafflin''.¡±

    ¡°I guess that explains the bizarre outfit.¡± The archer girl said. ¡°She¡¯s a rifter.¡±

    ¡°Not now,¡± Kev said, waving her off. ¡°Like Jinx mentioned, bringing it up now is just going to confuse everyone, and we¡¯re on a tight schedule here.¡±

    Honestly, I had no clue what I was doing, running straight back into danger. It was a dumb move, no question. My mom would never use the ¡°S¡± word, but she got creative with her disapproval when I told her I was majoring in Art History.

    We jogged along in an awkward silence. The pretty girl in the robes followed orders without a peep, her face blank as a slate. The archer, Gem, kept giving me sideways glances as we went. I¡¯d only been running for about ten minutes when I stumbled across this group, but we were making good time heading back.

    Gem sidled up next to me. ¡°Where are you from?¡± She had a deep, sultry voice with a melodic tone about it. When I first saw her, I was in absolute panic. But looking at her again, I wasn¡¯t sure if I was dreaming.

    At first, I mistook her for a human or whatever type of person Jinx was. With, I don¡¯t know, long ears and, like, adornments? But up close, her appearance was far more alien than I could have imagined. Her large, dark, deer-like eyes had giant irises that just pulled me in. What I thought was a crown or headdress, was a small set of caribou-like antlers with three slight points that protruded from each one. She had smooth, chestnut skin with varying light and dark tones that framed her deer-like appearance. She had wide cheekbones, a long chin, and an upturned nose that gave her an otherworldly grace. Her extra-long ears were adorned with wood and gold rings. Thick, untamed, dark curls framed her beautiful, frightening face. She was broad-shouldered and muscular, and her bare arms were covered in tattoos of leaves and flowers that wrapped around her skin like vines. She wore a leather corset and breastplate over a superheroine body, but below her waist, her legs transformed into powerful, fur-covered haunches, ending in graceful cloven hooves. Yeah, I said hooves, like that guy from Narnia? And whipping around her body was a fur-tipped tail, like four feet long or so.

    ¡°Denver.¡±

    ¡°Where¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a city in Colorado next to the mountains.¡±

    ¡°Is that in England?¡± She looked at me, her eyes supernaturally wide with curiosity. ¡°Jinx says he¡¯s from a place called England.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s in the United States. It¡¯s on the other side of the ocean from England.¡±

    ¡°I wasn¡¯t sure if Jinx was full of shit or not.¡± She smiled, her wide mouth stretching almost impossibly across her face. Her lips and grinning teeth seemed to go on for miles¡ªlarger than any human¡¯s. With her otherworldly features, she was strangely captivating. You¡¯d think someone who looked so alien wouldn¡¯t be alluring, but somehow, the mix of the unfamiliar and the human just¡­ worked.

    ¡°I guess he isn¡¯t about that, at least. I come from Muilvyrn. It¡¯s a village in North Lulved.¡± She extended her hand to me. ¡°Gem.¡±

    ¡°Regan.¡± I took her hand and shook awkwardly. ¡°And I have no idea where Lulved or anywhere in the world is.¡±

    ¡°I like your hat.¡±

    ¡°Thanks.¡±

    QUEST UPDATE:

    SURVIVE

    You no longer have time to flee the area and survive. Success now lies in fighting the Orcs. But you have allies and a weapon that highly puts the odds of success in your favor.

    We kept our pace and moved up the side of the hill next to the village, careful to stay out of sight. At the top, we silently ducked behind the rocks as Jinx, Kev, and Gem looked down.

    ¡°How many of them did you see?¡± Kev asked. I moved next to him and poked my head over the boulder we used for cover. Looking down from the face of the hill, I could see the orcs had returned to the village. The body of the dead was already dragged off somewhere, and strangely enough, the entire group seemed to have moved on as though nothing had happened.

    ¡°Seven that I saw. I killed one with the axe.¡±A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

    ¡°I count six,¡± Jinx said. ¡°So, you''re spot on, then.¡±

    ¡°I can hit the three on the right in two seconds,¡± Gem said. ¡°You put hits on the others, and I¡¯ll make sure they go down.¡±

    ¡°You got this?¡± Kev asked me. ¡°You need to hit one hard and back off. That¡¯s all you have to do. We must ensure he¡¯s focused on you so Gem¡¯s arrow will be more powerful.¡±

    I clutched the axe to my chest and nodded, probably looking like a deer caught in headlights. There was a lump in my throat the size of a boulder, and I was shocked I could say anything. Terrified didn¡¯t even cover it. You got this? Really?

    ¡°Oh yeah, I¡¯m totally used to hacking down orcs with my Gimli axe,¡± I muttered. Jinx snorted at that, apparently the only one who caught the reference. Cracking a joke helped calm the nerves, but it mostly made me look ridiculous in front of the fantasy world people.

    ¡°What about her?¡± I asked, nodding toward Heather, who was still just leaning on her staff, looking about as interested as if we were discussing the weather.

    ¡°I don¡¯t take lives, rifter.¡± She sneered at me, throwing off wicked, mean-girl vibes.

    ¡°She¡¯s here to heal,¡± Kev said. ¡°This is on us.¡±

    I just gave out a weak, stupid laugh. A well of anxiety rose inside me. ¡°I got it. One hit, back off.¡±

    ¡°It ain¡¯t easy,¡± Jinx said. ¡°First few times, that''s for sure, but it''s what we gotta do.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± Kev said. ¡°The three of us will move down and get into position on the left. Use the rocks for cover.¡± He paused for a second. ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡±

    ¡°For fuck¡¯s sake, Kev,¡± Gem said, pulling her bow out, along with three arrows. ¡°Her name¡¯s Regan.¡±

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Kev said, silently slipping down the hill''s side. ¡°Regan, you signal Gem when you¡¯re ready.¡±

    ¡°How?¡±

    ¡°Just raise your axe over your head,¡± Gem said.

    ¡°I can do that.¡±

    The three of us cautiously made our way down. Jinx and Kev, obviously more experienced at all things murder, slipped between and behind the rocks with ease. I tried my best to keep up but needed to be more careful with my footing to balance speed and stealth.

    Within moments, we reached the bottom, each taking cover behind a separate hut. Kev was stationed behind the middle one, Jinx on the far right, and I was on the left. From what I remembered, the orcs were gathered in the center, barely fazed by the death of their tribemate and back to their usual grunting and snorting in what I could only call pig-speak.

    I moved to the corner of the hut and crept along its side. I couldn¡¯t see Jinx or Kev, but I spotted Gem in position, watching from her perch. Taking a deep breath, I raised the axe over my head.

    Time seemed to crawl. I darted around the corner; the axe was up, ready to strike. The orcs were all focused on the fire. The arrows flew. Thwip! Thwip! Thwip! True to her word, Gem hit three orcs in the back of their heads.

    As the three fell, the others all turned to face them. It was a perfect distraction. I raced forward and screamed as I slammed the axe down on the closest one. It is embedded into the back of the orc¡¯s neck. I scrambled back, the blade popping out with a tug and a spray of blood. He started to turn when Thwip! Another of Jen¡¯s arrows slammed through his temple. The creature fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes. That was two creatures that I had killed. The second time was with help, but still, dead was dead.

    I looked at Kev as he swung his hammer, first to the orc¡¯s knee, and as he collapsed in pain, Kev swung it again, bringing it down on the beast¡¯s head. The hammer crushed the skull like a melon, splattering what little brain the poor thing had all over the ground while the skull fragments bounced off the walls of the nearest hut.

    Jinx charged into the fight unarmed, his hands raised like when I first met him, fingers twisted into strange, intricate shapes. He suddenly stopped, and lightning erupted from his hands. I gasped as the orc jolted and convulsed under the attack, stumbling before collapsing to the ground. Twitching and squealing, Jinx¡¯s personal lightning storm consumed him and burned the skin off his body. Within seconds, he stopped moving, his face frozen in a final, silent scream.

    It was terrifying. But so fucking metal.

    A loud whoop echoed from the top of the hill as Gem cheered in victory. The realization hit me: she¡¯d only fired one arrow, and it was at the one I attacked. Fuck! She let the others handle their own kills. A twinge of irritation flared up, and I could feel my face heating up. They didn¡¯t trust me.

    I crossed over to examine the one I¡¯d hit. There was a small arrow lodged in his temple, but I¡¯d practically split the entire back of his head open with that axe. There was no way he wasn¡¯t already dead or dying before Gem¡¯s arrow landed.

    I mean, come on, I was a chubby girl living in my parents'' basement. I wasn''t strong; I definitely wasn''t brave. But I¡¯d stood up, gone back, and fought when I knew how dangerous those things were. I¡¯d done something I never thought I could. So yeah, maybe I was a bit pissed they didn¡¯t believe I could pull it off. But considering I was the girl who struggled with mayonnaise jars at home... well, I couldn¡¯t exactly blame them, could I?

    Suddenly, a wave of nausea hit me, and I bent over. There wasn¡¯t much left in my stomach to lose, but what I had was sprayed all over the ground by the orc. This was wrong, wrong in all ways. It passed, but only after I turned away from the carnage.

    ¡°Sweep the village,¡± Kev ordered after things settled down. ¡°Make sure there aren¡¯t any others.¡±

    QUEST UPDATE:

    SURVIVE

    All orcs are dead. You have managed to eliminate the threat with the help of magical gear and allies. Find a safe location and wait for the timer to run down. Good job, hitting above your weight.

    ¡°They¡¯re all dead.¡± I groaned. The nausea was gone, but it could return any second. ¡°My quest just updated.¡± My quest clock continued to count down. Now, at twenty-three minutes.

    ¡°I¡¯m just gonna make sure,¡± Kev said, marching off to check the huts and barn.

    HIDDEN QUEST COMPLETED:

    KILL THE PRAIRIE ORCS

    A band of prairie orcs have been terrorizing travelers along the imperial highway. Eliminate the threat.

    REWARDS:

    XP

    700GP, shared among combatants.

    A sack of coins, much larger than the one that landed on me earlier, bounced painfully off my head and onto the ground. I was too surprised to say anything.

    Kev and Jinx paused for a moment. I assume they were reading the notification; however, they did not get pelted with bags of metal.

    ¡°Oh, Hells Yeah!¡± Gem came bounding down the hill at full speed. She bounced from rock to rock on her cloven feet, springing into the air higher than I¡¯d ever seen anyone in my entire life. As she bounced, her tail waved back and forth, working as a counterbalance as she flew through the air at seemingly impossible angles. With striking features, an awesome bod, and the whole Narnia thing she was rocking, she reminded me of one of those freaky Cirque Du Soleil acts.

    ¡°You were great, Rifter!¡± She landed two feet from me with a thud and threw her arms around me. I dropped the axe, and my strength just melted away, but she hugged me tightly, almost lifting me off my feet. She smelled like a cross between a wild animal and how you would expect a supermodel to smell. I had mixed feelings.

    I felt absolutely disgusting. My clothes and hair were caked in orc blood. My clothes practically fell off me from the saturation, and she was flinging her arms around me like it was not a problem. She kissed my nasty, messy cheek and stepped back with a massive smile.

    ¡°Sorry, I¡¯m so gross.¡± I wrinkled my nose. Feeling stupid.

    ¡°You wield an axe, you¡¯re gonna get messy. Don¡¯t worry about it. You keep cutting them down like that, and you¡¯ll be okay.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know...¡±

    ¡°You were scared, but you went back in.¡± Gem was bouncing on her feet, the excitement still rushing through her. ¡°That¡¯s not something most people do. So, chin up.¡± She gripped excitedly at the bag in my hands. ¡°You want me to hold that for you?¡±

    ¡°Uh, yeah, sure, I guess.¡± I was still a little dazed, but I let her grab the bag, which disappeared with a bit of a Schwoop!

    ¡°We¡¯ll get you a pack after you finish your quest.¡±

    ¡°Sounds great.¡± I was still feeling a little numb. Killing was a thing here. It was something that I would have to deal with. I glanced back at the bodies. Shot, burned, chopped and smashed. Fuck me.

    ¡°You never offed anything before?¡± Jinx asked, coming up to me.

    ¡°No,¡± I picked up the axe. ¡°Most of the threats In my life were from my student loan servicer.¡± The notification said I was clear but expecting something else to happen. Like, I don¡¯t know, another thousand orcs or so, an evil white wizard and a nasty little creature that just wanted to steal my shit and toss me into a lava flow.

    ¡°Where we''re from, love,¡± he said. ¡°We don''t deal with this kinda stuff. It''s proper tough.¡±

    ¡°Sure. Proper tough.¡± I handed the axe to Jinx. He took it, and the strength left my body again. Gravity weighed down, and I almost buckled in front of him. ¡°What is this fucking place.¡±

    ¡°It''s like a whole other world, innit? People like us just end up here somehow.¡± He pushed his hood back and smiled.

    ¡°But what is it?¡±

    ¡°It''s a place called Nya. Kinda like Earth, but it''s packed with magic.¡±

    ¡°But why am I here?¡±

    ¡°Dunno, love. I ain''t got a clue why I''m ''ere neither.¡± He placed his hand on my shoulder. ¡°But there''s loads of us, folks from Earth, you know? We came through the rift, and now ''ere we are.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the rift?¡±

    ¡°How much time do you have left, love?¡±

    ¡°Twenty-two minutes.¡±

    ¡°In twenty-three minutes, you''ll find out. Hey, not a big genius you¡¯re talking to, just been around longer.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± I said. ¡°Come here.¡±

    I gestured for Jinx to follow and led him to the barn. I yanked the cross beam up and pulled open the door. Sitting in the middle, facing the open doorway, was my seat, now the home of a very contented-looking chicken.

    ¡°Holy Shite!¡± He erupted in a croaking laugh, leaving me feeling like an idiot for half a minute. It worked his way through his system before he stopped. I found his amusement the worst. ¡°Bit cramped for an airplane seat, innit?¡±

    ¡°I wish. You¡¯re from London, but airplane seats have been tiny forever.¡±

    ¡°I only flew on a plane once, way back in ¡®93, off to Australia for the FIFA World Cup. Uncle won a trip and took me with ¡®em. Seats weren''t nearly that tight, I tell ya.¡±

    ¡°How long have you been here?

    ¡°Five years, love. 1997, that''s when I landed ''ere.¡±

    ¡°Shit, are you sure? It¡¯s 2025 where I come from.¡±

    ¡°Heard rifters drop in from all sorts of times into Nya. But blimey, that''s a proper long time from now.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re taking this well.¡±

    ¡°None of this is news to me, love,¡± he said. ¡°This world''s way more interestin'' than what I left behind. Fer the record, I was right pissed at Victoria Station, sittin'' on a bench waitin'' for me train. Next thing I know, I¡¯m flat on me arse in the middle of a bleedin¡¯ forest full o¡¯ talkin¡¯ rats. Least you got to keep yer chair!¡±

    He reached into his robe and produced a full-sized blanket despite the apparent violations of the law of physics. ¡°Right then, love, ''ave a seat or lie down. If ya don''t, you''ll end up toppin'' over anyway. This way, you can relax and let things ''appen the way they''re supposed to.¡± He spread it out on the ground. ¡°You might wanna strip off them clothes. I''ll ''ave a look and see if Gem ''as got anythin'' you can chuck on instead.¡±

    ¡°How did you know I was a rifter?¡±

    ¡°The quest,¡± Jinx said. ¡°It takes one hour and forty-seven minutes for the magic from Nya to infuse your body, and then, would ya believe it, you go through a magical evolution.¡± He dipped out the door, Leaving me standing in the barn.

    With nothing else to do, I plopped down on the blanket. A moment later, Gem walked in, carrying a small bundle of clothes under her arm.

    ¡°Hey,¡± she said. ¡°Jinx said you needed something to wear.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m already wearing something.¡±

    ¡°Your body might change shape, so you¡¯ll need self-adjusting clothes.¡± She tossed the bundle onto the blanket in front of me. ¡°I can¡¯t wear pants without a hole for the¡­¡± She turned and wiggled her butt; the tail swayed back and forth. ¡°So go ahead and keep these if you want.¡±

    ¡°Why would my body change?¡±

    ¡°Magic infusion,¡± Gem said casually. ¡°Rifters like you come from a world without magic, and Nya is packed with it. Your body will adjust. I¡¯ve never seen it myself, but I¡¯ve heard people can come out¡­ pretty different from how they came in.¡± She gave me a quick once-over and smirked. ¡°I hope you don¡¯t change too much. You¡¯re pretty cute as-is.¡±

    My face went hot. ¡°That¡¯s¡­ totally insane.¡±

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s something to do with how living beings adapt to a big dose of magical essence.¡± She backed out of the room, waving it off. ¡°It¡¯ll be fine! Jinx says we should give you space for a few hours while it happens. Can¡¯t wait to see how you turn out.¡± She tilted her head with a playful smile. ¡°Hopefully, not as an ogre or anything weird.¡±

    Once she left, I stared after her, thinking, This is so messed up. I checked the door, then tried to wedge the broken planks back into place, though it barely helped. The barn was getting dark, and most of the animals had already settled down. I slipped off my shoes, jeans, and shirt, all covered in dark green orc blood. Off came my underwear and beanie, too. I half-expected the crew to burst in at any moment, yelling, ¡°Gotcha!¡± like some weird Animal House prank.

    Gem had given me leather pants and a cotton tunic. I pulled them on, and although they were way too big at first, they magically shrank to fit perfectly. This place was seriously freaky. I lay back on the blanket and waited.

    The timer ticked down:

    00:00:05

    00:00:04

    00:00:03

    00:00:02

    00:00:01

    00:00:00

    QUEST COMPLETED:

    SURVIVE

    REWARDS:

    SURVIVAL

    UNLOCK THE WHISPERER

    FINE LEATHER GLOVES

    6GP

    With a little metallic clink, a little leather pouch landed on my lap, along with a pair of really nice leather gloves.

 Chapter Three: Cute is one thing, but this is stupid cute.

    Chapter Three: Cute is one thing, but this is stupid cute.

    The world blinked to black, and for a split second, I had no idea what was happening. Was I dead? Unconscious? Slowly, things started to sharpen, and I realized¡ªnope, not dead, maybe just...passed out?

    An electric guitar began to wail in the vast, swirling void, accompanied by a steady drumbeat. A woman¡¯s voice, low and intense, like some video game voice-over, echoed softly in my head.

    ¡°Greetings, Rifter.¡±

    The drums picked up, building like a band about to make its big entrance. The guitar shredded, pulling out metal riffs hinting at something epic. I still couldn¡¯t see anything, but I was getting a sense of space around me as if a stage was lighting up just outside my vision.

    ¡°You completed your first quests, survived your initial trials¡­and now, you¡¯ve arrived.¡±

    The guitar hit a high, almost screaming note as the drums thundered faster like a roller coaster charging downhill. Suddenly, with a pyrotechnic flash, flames, and a deafening crack of explosions, an unseen metal band erupted into a thrashing anthem.

    ¡°Welcome to Nya,¡± the voice boomed, nearly blowing out my eardrums, ¡°It¡¯s a world of magic, adventure, and mystery!¡±

    Lights flickered, and the music settled into a fierce, steady rhythm. I tried to glance around, curious about this mysterious voice, but¡­ no dice. I had no body to move, no head to turn. Just a formless consciousness in what looked like some dark, foggy space that would be right at home on a loading screen.

    A loading screen? Really? This whole scene had serious video game energy, which was¡­ weird.

    ¡°Um, hi.¡±

    The voice continued, relentless. ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve got a million questions, so let¡¯s jump right into Character Creation!¡±

    ¡°Character¡­what?¡± I managed right before another guitar scream, and a fresh metal riff drowned out my words. A massive globe appeared before me, flames licking up behind it. It spun briefly before a gigantic sword came down, slicing into the north pole with an explosion of rock and lava. The words CHARACTER CREATION flared up in jagged, iron lettering, landing with an ear-splitting crash.

    Then, like a character from a heavy metal fever dream, she appeared. Tall, blonde, and decked out in a leather-and-lace corset and hot pants, thigh-high boots, and fishnets torn to perfection. Her bare shoulders were tattooed with electric guitars, medieval weapons, and grim, hooded figures wielding swords. She had immaculate makeup and a smile that melted the soul.

    She looked right at me. Well, she looked right at the floating patch of air I seemed to occupy. ¡°You passed through a rift in time and space,¡± she said, dark and serious, ¡°from your world to this one.¡± Her gaze deepened. ¡°There¡¯s no destiny here, no divine intervention.¡± Cue another guitar squeal, and the music cut out. ¡°It just¡­happens.¡± She strolled around the spinning globe. ¡°The magic that infuses Nya constantly pulls people and things from non-magical worlds.¡±

    The drums kicked in again, and the rhythm guitar rolled with a new riff as she gestured to the globe, flashing a wicked smile at me. ¡°Now you¡¯re one of us. Be a hero. Be a villain. Climb mountains, dive into the sea. Fight. Fuck. Become something you never dreamed of. Unlock the mysteries of this world¡­and maybe even yourself.¡±

    Sparks erupted at a dramatic angle behind her, and the wind tossed her hair like she was featured in an eighties music video. The whole intro was undeniably cool, but considering I mainly¡¯d been getting my butt kicked and getting covered in nasty, green blood so far, it felt a little over-the-top. Besides, I couldn¡¯t see my¡­slightly tubby self¡­doing any of those things. Climbing mountains? Not happening. And the ¡°fighting and¡­other activities?¡± didn¡¯t sound like things I was exactly excelling at in life.

    ¡°Are you working from a script or something?¡± I yelled over the shredding guitar.

    The music eased into the background as she sauntered over, getting close, at least close to wherever my incorporeal self was floating. Her eyes locked onto mine or whatever version of ¡°me¡± she could see. ¡°You have no idea how this world works,¡± she said, her voice slipping into a low, intense whisper. ¡°I¡¯m here to guide you, help you shape this new life, and make it what you want.¡±

    ¡°So¡­is this some kind of heavy metal hellscape?¡±

    She stepped back, tilting her head with a slightly amused smirk as she dropped the act a little. ¡°What¡¯s your experience so far?¡±

    ¡°Oh, you know¡­mostly axes, orcs, and getting knocked around a lot.¡±

    She waved a hand. ¡°This is no stage show and definitely not a game.¡± She gestured around the dark, foggy realm. ¡°But it¡¯s nothing like your old world. Here, magic is in everything.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, okay. But can I go home?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± she replied firmly. ¡°Nya and its realms are your new home now. Earth? Completely out of reach. Realms without magic are closed off to beings infused with it.¡±

    ¡°Then why me?¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s no ¡®why,¡¯¡± she said, almost matter-of-factly. ¡°Nya doesn¡¯t choose its rifters. They just happen to be in the right or wrong place when a rift opens. The sooner you accept that, the better.¡±

    I thought for a second. ¡°What about the plane?¡±

    She paused. ¡°You and the seat you were sitting in ended up here. As for the rest of the plane? Probably finished its trip as scheduled, minus one passenger.¡±

    ¡°And my family?¡±

    She raised an eyebrow. ¡°What about them? I can only answer questions about what happened to you when you crossed over. I¡¯m sure they¡¯ll miss you unless you¡¯re, like, a total bitch or something. But I¡¯m not getting bitch vibe off you.¡±

    ¡°Well, shit.¡± I sighed or tried to, given my lack of actual lungs.

    ¡°Please,¡± she said, sounding almost impatient. ¡°We have a lot to cover.¡±

    ¡°Like what?¡±

    ¡°Like your transference to Nya.¡±

    ¡°But I¡¯m already here. Is this, like, magical customs or something?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re here, but you can¡¯t stay as you are. The magic now within you is highly transformative. If you don¡¯t adapt, your body will begin to¡­mutate, let¡¯s say, in unpredictable ways.¡± The globe faded, and flashes of various fantasy creatures appeared one after another behind her: elves, dwarves, and creatures I couldn¡¯t even name. ¡°To avoid that fate, you¡¯ll transform into an enlightened race of Nya.¡±

    ¡°Why can¡¯t I stay human?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s kind of a roll of the dice. If you spin up human, you¡¯ll stay human, but magic has its ideas about how you¡¯ll end up,¡± she explained with a shrug.

    Then, with a wave of her hand, she vanished, and the space around me morphed. A figure was in the center of the room on a slowly rotating platform. And to my complete and utter shock, that figure was me. Stark, well-lit, 3D, and absolutely, unapologetically naked.

    I don¡¯t care who you are; nobody wants to see a full 3D render of themselves, and I was no exception. It was like gawking at a car crash: you can¡¯t look away, but you kind of wish you could.

    There I was, every detail out in the open: fair skin, shoulder-length brown hair, brown eyes, everything. I got a front-row view of the rest as well¡ªsmall chest, big butt, soft stomach and waist, the whole package. I¡¯d never been athletic or anything close to it and didn¡¯t have my sister¡¯s gym-toned body, but¡­ this was me. Honest, unfiltered, unmistakably Regan.

    But oh boy, up there, mocking me in ultra-HD glory, was every little flaw I¡¯d successfully ignored for years. Cellulite on my thighs and ass I hadn¡¯t even known was there. My back? Let¡¯s just say it was not my favorite angle. Nobody wants to see themselves from behind in the real world, and judging from this unflattering perspective, I was starting to understand why.

    I almost couldn¡¯t believe it was me I was looking at. And yet, to make it crystal clear, this was the real me: I could see the full moon tattoo on the back of my left shoulder. Megan had the matching sun on her right. We¡¯d gotten them together on our eighteenth birthday. It was our dumb way of saying that for all our differences, we were forever connected.

    ¡°This is you as you entered Nya,¡± the woman¡¯s voice echoed behind me. ¡°Like all beings here, you come with basic stats that describe your attributes.¡±

    One by one, words slapped into the air above my virtual naked self, each one announced by a guitar squeal and a dramatic rumble that shook the entire virtual space. The list finished hovering over my head:

    Strength

    Dexterity

    Spirit

    Charisma

    Intelligence

    Endurance

    Luck

    ¡°The Average human attribute on Earth is five. You entered Nya with the following attribute scores:¡±

    Then, out of nowhere, a male announcer¡¯s voice blasted into the scene as if he were hyping up a monster truck rally. Each attribute name was called out with the enthusiasm of a Sunday night demolition derby, and every number was punctuated with a mini firework exploding behind it.

    ¡°STRENGTH: THREE!¡± Fireworks popped, though maybe with a little less enthusiasm, like even the fireworks knew this was nothing to brag about.

    ¡°DEXTERITY: THREE!¡± Another pop, this one sounding suspiciously like a sarcastic golf clap.

    ¡°SPIRIT: SIX!¡± Pow! He threw in some extra grit for this one as if trying to make up for the first two.

    ¡°CHARISMA: FIVE!¡± Boom! Not bad, not superb, but the announcer kept the energy up with a confident tone like he was trying to convince himself that solidly average was awesome.

    ¡°INTELLIGENCE: EIGHT!¡± A grand explosion echoed as if the announcer was thrilled to have a stat worth shouting about.

    ¡°ENDURANCE: SIX!¡± Pop-pop! It was not exceptional, but the announcer didn¡¯t seem genuinely impressed. God bless him; he put in the effort.

    And then, the big finish:

    ¡°LUCK: SEVEN!¡± A drumroll kicked in as the fireworks burst in a colorful finale, hinting that maybe, just maybe, I¡¯d have something on my side after all.

    The complete list of attributes hovered there, every stat a personal little neon reminder of precisely what I¡¯d brought with me into this strange world.

    Strength: 3

    Dexterity: 3

    Spirit: 6

    Charisma: 5

    Intelligence: 8

    Endurance: 6

    Luck: 7

    ¡°This is your base level,¡± the woman said, giving virtual me a once-over. ¡°But here in Nya, magic infuses body and mind, allowing you to push your attributes well beyond the average for your race or species. There¡¯s virtually no limit to how high you can raise them. Every ten levels, you¡¯ll unlock unique skills tied to each attribute. You can also assign attribute points during your initial setup.¡±

    I glanced at my stats. Sure, my intelligence was higher than average, which was a relief, but my strength and dexterity? Yikes. It was like the numbers were laughing at me. Not that I could argue; my usual workout routine was lifting the remote and dodging emails. And luck? A solid seven? I felt like the unluckiest person on two worlds right now.

    ¡°All abilities, skills, and magic draw directly from these base attributes,¡± the woman explained as the attributes glowed with a pulsating light. ¡°The higher your attribute level, the stronger your skills and magic. As I mentioned, magic is woven into every living thing on Nya. People can channel it both within their body and spirit and the world around them. The magical energy, or essence, each person can draw on depends on their Intelligence and Spirit. We call this EP for short.¡±

    As she spoke, the corresponding attributes glowed. ¡°Combat skills, athleticism, and physical prowess depend on Strength, Dexterity, and Endurance. Special skills use a pool of Adrenaline Points, AP for short.¡±

    ¡°Your attributes can grow through usage, pushing your limits, and with magical items, potions, or spells. Everyone in Nya has a level, a measure of life experience, that adds points to their attributes. As you unlock new skills through discovery, your related attributes increase, too. For instance, hit level one in sword fighting, and you¡¯ll get a boost to Strength and Dexterity.¡±

    It was a lot to take in, but at least there were ways to beef up my sad stats¡­

    ¡°You¡¯ll find your body and mind adapt quickly to Nya¡¯s environments as you move through this world,¡± the woman explained.

    ¡°Wait, so I have points that measure my abilities?¡± I asked, trying to wrap my head around it.

    ¡°Yes,¡± she replied, nodding.

    ¡°But I literally just got here. Am I going to be a weakling compared to the locals?¡±

    ¡°At first, yes,¡± she said. ¡°But rifters like you mature quickly. You¡¯ll catch up to an age-appropriate level of skills and attributes within nine to twelve months, so taking your growth seriously is important.¡±

    I grimaced. ¡°Is this world as violent as it seems? Like¡­ are there orcs everywhere?¡±

    She shrugged. ¡°It¡¯s like any place. Some areas are safe, others¡­ not so much. But in a world rich with magic, strength, and resilience are valued. Magic is powerful; it can heal or corrupt, creating intense environments. Use the next few months to explore, learn, and figure out where you fit in. Think about who you want to become in your new life.¡±

    ¡°What about law enforcement? Are there police or any kind of rule of law?¡±

    She raised an eyebrow. ¡°People are people. Some suck; some don¡¯t. There are countless governments here, some organized, some chaotic, some freer than others. It all depends on where you go.¡±

    ¡°So, basically like Earth.¡±

    ¡°Close enough,¡± she said with a smirk. ¡°But just different enough to keep you on your toes.¡±

    The woman stepped back, her face lighting up with a mischievous grin. She spread her arms wide, dramatically lifting her chest as the music shifted into a full-blown ''80s metal anthem straight out of the AC/DC playbook. The long, pounding intro built up, louder with every beat, until CRACK! A flash of lightning split the room.

    One by one, the words blazed onto the screen in that heavy metal font, each word read out by the monster truck announcer, his voice vibrating with rock-and-roll drama. The woman struck a fierce pose with each new word, leaning into each syllable.

    ¡°WHEEL!¡±

    Sparks rained down, lighting up the dark as if the letters were forged in molten metal, each hammering into place with a thunderous clang. The woman struck a triumphant pose, arms outstretched, as the word blazed across the room, shimmering in electric fire.

    ¡°OF!¡±

    The word boomed, rocking the room with a pulsing energy. The lights strobed, each pulse ramping up the intensity, building suspense.

    ¡°RACES!¡±

    The final word thundered into place with a deafening metallic slam as pyrotechnics erupted in a blinding flash. The words arranged themselves over a massive spinning wheel of fortune, which now took up most of the surreal space. Then, just as quickly, the music stopped.

    The woman stepped close to my virtual self, dropping her voice to an intense whisper. ¡°Now, for the big event. The Wheel of Races.¡±

    I squinted at the wheel. It seemed to have only two options on it, though it spun too fast for me to tell for sure. Meanwhile, the woman leaned back, her hips swaying in a slow dance to the soft, echoing pluck of a single guitar string, somehow soothing and ominous at the same time.

    ¡°The magic within you is ready,¡± she murmured, her voice almost lost in the haunting melody. ¡°The change is beginning. Fate will decide what you become.¡±

    ¡°Fate?¡± I echoed, my not-there stomach twisting with a jolt of anxiety. I stomped my non-existent foot. ¡°What? A freaking wheel? Can¡¯t I just pick?¡±

    Her eyes twinkled as she smiled through her dance. ¡°Magic¡¯s not that predictable. But you¡¯ll have some choices, don¡¯t worry.¡±

    ¡°Oh, Mother Fuck!¡± I sputtered, ¡°Shit stained mother of fuck shit fuck!¡± I knew the expletives I let loose in frustration, probably lighting up the invisible swear jar. It just didn¡¯t seem fair, leaving my future, my very existence, to a carnival prop.

    She laughed, scrunching her nose. ¡°Love the language. So cute. Now give the wheel a spin.¡±

    I stared at her, again, no body. ¡°I don¡¯t have hands, remember?¡±

    ¡°Use your mind,¡± she prompted with a graceful flick of her wrist toward the wheel.

    With an internal shrug, I thought flick, and the wheel lurched to life, spinning faster and faster as the faint beat of drums began to build, steady and intense. The rhythm synced with the wheel''s rotation as it spun, a relentless clicking that started to slow.

    A deep, primal chant rose around me: ¡°Whole... or... Half... Whole... or... Half...¡± With each click, the beat slowed, drumming down to a suspenseful crawl.

    Finally, with a heavy final beat, the wheel stalled.

    The last click echoed in the silence, and the booming announcer''s voice returned, vibrating through the room:

    HALFBREED

    The word slammed into place above the wheel in giant, jagged letters, punctuated by an ear-splitting guitar screech and an eruption of imaginary crowd cheers. The choice was made.

    Well, sort of. Halfbreed? Holy fucking Hell.

    ¡°You get to choose one race to be part of your new makeup,¡± the woman announced with a smile, standing beside the still-spinning wheel. She pointed to a glowing, golden frame above the wheel, hovering like a prized slot for my ¡°chosen race.¡±

    ¡°Human,¡± I snapped, my not-there arms crossed in defiance. I was furious. Here I was, dragged into a new world, spinning wheels and rolling dice with my existence, and my so-called luck was nowhere to be seen. Level seven luck, my ass!

    She tilted her head, eyebrow raised. ¡°You sure about that, sweetie?¡±

    ¡°Yes! I¡¯m fucking sure!¡± I practically shouted, the words punctuating my mounting frustration.

    The woman shrugged, turning in profile as a blue index card seemingly materialized in her hand. She peered down at it, and as she did, white Arial font magically appeared above her head, displaying the words like some cosmic PowerPoint:

    Human:

    The second most populous race on Nya, Humans share ancestry with many Enlightened races, including Dwarves, Elves, and Gnomes. Known for their extreme versatility and intelligence, Humans adapt well to most environments worldwide and excel at various classes. Due to their versatility, there are no sub-races for Humans¡ªonly minor differences in appearance and physical traits, reflecting their adaptation to diverse surroundings.

    With a flick of her fingers, she sent the card spinning off into nothingness, where it evaporated in a puff of light. She glanced back at me, a playful smile creeping across her face. ¡°No points for originality.¡±

    ¡°Whatever,¡± I grumbled.

    The Wheel of Races erupted in a fiery display, hundreds of slots igniting as new options carved themselves into its surface. I squinted and saw a few as the wheel lazily turned, some familiar from mythology, like elves, dwarves, dragons, and orcs. Others were more cryptic: ¡°caprid,¡± ¡°feline,¡± and ¡°divine¡± were available, along with a whole list of things I couldn¡¯t even begin to guess.

    I¡¯d briefly considered what it might mean to be a half-something else. Orc, maybe? Sure, scary, but then I thought of Kev, strong, rugged, rocking bod¡­not bad. But what if I landed on something weird, like ¡°prairie orc¡±? Strong, yeah, but¡­ dumb and ugly too? Yikes. Maybe a snake woman or a cat girl. I wasn¡¯t sure if having fur or shedding my skin every few months would help my look.

    ¡°Great,¡± I muttered, focusing all my frustration into another mental spin. ¡°Human and¡­?¡±

    The wheel spun, the usual music and pyrotechnics kicking in, building the suspense. Finally, it began to slow: Click, click, click¡­ click¡­ click.

    ELF

    Monster Truck Announcer was in great form, making the word seem long.

    The fanfare exploded around me, confirming my fate. ¡°So, I¡¯m a Half-Elf.¡± I didn¡¯t even need to think too hard about that one. I¡¯d played enough RPGs to know Half-Elf wasn¡¯t a bad roll. Elves were always tall, elegant, and way cool, as if they¡¯d just stepped out of a David Bowie concert in another dimension. But combine that with human, and you have that perfect middle ground. And let¡¯s face it, elves are sexy. Half ain''t that bad if I couldn¡¯t be a whole elf.

    It seemed safe, at least. What could go wrong? I thought to myself sarcastically.

    Before I could react, the woman had whipped out another card. The PowerPoint loaded up, and in crisp white letters, it read:

    Half-Elf:

    Neither a member of the Human community nor the Elven, but fetishized by all. Half-elves are the product of the unlikely cross-breeding between a Human and an Elf. These offspring gain the versatility of their Human parent and the magical inclination of their Elven parent. Often envied for having the perks of both races without drawbacks, Half-Elves thrive in human environments and even in some of the more extreme Elven ones. Yet, like many half-breeds, Half-Elves don¡¯t have a community to call their own, instead adapting to existing ones as outsiders.

    The card vanished as quickly as it appeared, leaving her smiling at me like she¡¯d just given me a winning lottery ticket.

    ¡°Perfect,¡± I muttered. ¡°Half magic, half versatility, outsider, and being fetishized? Just what every girl dreams of.¡±

    ¡°We''ve got one last spin to go,¡± the woman said, grinning like this was her favorite part. ¡°To see just what kind of elf you''ll be.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s more than one kind of elf?¡± I asked, half-expecting her to say this was a joke.

    ¡°Oh, there are hundreds! Elves and humans share the same progenitors, but while humans stayed adaptable, elves evolved with nature. They¡¯re full of magic, so every environment pulls them in a new direction. You¡¯ve got tundra elves, jungle elves, nocturnal elves, even naiad elves that live in water.¡±

    Before I could ask for a list, the wheel reformed, blaring the same fanfare as it spun back to life. The flashing lights and intense drumbeats had started to wear thin, but I couldn¡¯t look away. This time, the wheel was covered with a wide range of elf types, from desert to swamp and every possible niche in between. I gave it a mental flick, and it spun wildly, clicking down until:

    URBAN ELF

    The monster truck announcer¡¯s voice boomed through the room as fireworks exploded around the globe. I blinked, trying to process what that even meant.

    ¡°What the fuck is an urban elf?¡±

    The woman reached up, pulling another card from thin air.

    URBAN ELFThe tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

    Urban Elves have adapted away from nature to thrive in cities. Cunning, intelligent, and charismatic, these elves are fierce fighters, rogues, and spell casters, but they prefer cobblestone over grass and skyscrapers over trees. Unlike other elves living in remote forests or mountains, Urban Elves flourish in the cosmopolitan mix of cities, enjoying the lively variety and culture. They retain many classic elf traits with a few twists.

    ¡°Really? What Twists?¡±

    She tossed the card aside, smirking.

    ¡°Looks like you''ll be right at home in the city.¡±

    Perfect, I thought. An elf with a streetwise streak, maybe not what I''d imagined, but I could work with it.

    The wheel shattered in a blaze of flaming wood, scattering embers in every direction as the music hit a thunderous peak. Once more, I was left trying to make sense of the spectacle, barely keeping up with the chaotic display before the room plunged into darkness.

    For a brief moment, there was silence, just a short, dramatic pause. And then, as if on cue, a spotlight blinked on, illuminating the center of the space. There I was again, naked and rotating slowly on the platform, the same as before. No enhancements, no heroic aura. Just me, completely exposed. I groaned inwardly. God, just fucking shoot me.

    Somewhere out of sight, the woman¡¯s voice echoed through the darkness. ¡°As a half Urban Elf, you will receive a plus five to Dexterity, plus five to Charisma, plus five to Intelligence, and plus two to Luck.¡±

    Suddenly, my view of my 3D self zoomed in like a camera on a dolly. It felt like I was watching from a front-row seat. The announcer¡¯s voice cut through the darkness, each of my new stats rattling off to the deep beat of the drummer.

    BOOM. ¡°Strength: 3.¡±

    BOOM. ¡°Dexterity: 8.¡±

    BOOM. ¡°Spirit: 6.¡±

    BOOM. ¡°Charisma: 10.¡±

    BOOM. ¡°Intelligence: 13.¡±

    BOOM. ¡°Endurance: 6.¡±

    BOOM. ¡°Luck: 9.¡±

    With each number, my avatar subtly shifted. Dexterity tightened my figure, giving it a sleek grace. Charisma lent an aura of confidence, and Intelligence sharpened my gaze. Even my Luck stat seemed to add a faint spark of good fortune to my image as if things might break my way a bit more often.

    I stared, a mixture of shock and grudging fascination, as this new version of me turned on the platform, the transformations all pounding out to the steady rhythm.

    I blinked in disbelief as the 3D figure continued to shift, evolving into a surreal version of myself. It was me, but¡­ more.

    First, my chest. It swelled, reshaping into something much more generous, my breasts more defined, more pronounced than I¡¯d ever seen. My waist tightened, drawing in to create a striking silhouette, and my hips became more sculpted, giving me a balance of form that seemed almost too ideal. Even my arms and legs took on a new, subtle muscularity, the outlines of abs pressing through on a now perfectly lean stomach.

    My face softened yet sharpened at the same time. The roundness gave way to a heart-shaped elegance, with delicate features that felt both familiar and alien: a smaller, slightly upturned nose, fuller lips, and cheekbones that sat higher on my face, giving me an almost ethereal look. My hairline shifted, framing my face with a new widow¡¯s peak, lending a certain intensity to my gaze.

    Then the ears were only slightly pointed, not dramatic like Jinx¡¯s, but just enough to mark them as elven. And my hair¡­ It erupted in wild, vibrant pink curls that cascaded over my shoulders in glossy waves. My eyes glowed an intense, almost unnatural green, shimmering under the spotlight. And then there were freckles. They exploded into existence all over me like fireworks over the Magic Castle at Disney. They covered my face and trailed down my arms and shoulders, dotting my body.

    And if that wasn¡¯t enough, a glance downward confirmed that my pubes were pink, matching the vibrant shock of curls framing my face. I stared at the transformed figure, caught somewhere between horror and fascination, realizing this new form was now, somehow, an inescapable part of me.

    Still, It was elven, a little punk rock, but it was something I could work with. I mean, I was looking at some sexy chick as she rotated on the platform.

    ¡°Okay,¡± I murmured, still processing the whirlwind of changes. ¡°I guess, weird, but I could live with¡ª¡±

    SCHUMP!

    The sound tore through the room, and in a flash, my body shrank an entire head¡¯s length, the vibrant pink curls bouncing wildly before settling down around my now-shorter shoulders.

    ¡°What the fuck!¡± I shouted, looking up at my new, more diminutive form in disbelief. ¡°You said Urban Elf!¡±

    The woman smirked like she¡¯d anticipated this reaction all along. ¡°This,¡± she replied with a casual shrug, ¡°is what a Half Urban Elf looks like.¡±

    I glared at her, then back at my transformed virtual self, realizing that my image now had an unmistakable, almost mischievous quality, a blend of scrappiness and charm in an entirely more compact package.

    ¡°More like Half Keebler Elf!¡± I barked. ¡°Seriously?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°I look like a Pixar cartoon; can we do anything to make me look more¡­¡±

    ¡°Human, no.¡±

    ¡°What about the hair?¡±

    ¡°It is randomly selected based on the genetic makeup of the two races.¡±

    ¡°What kind of race has bubblegum pink hair?

    ¡°Urban Elves.¡±

    ¡°But, how in the name of all holy Hell does a race of people evolve to have pink hair?¡±

    ¡°Hells, Regan, more than one here.¡±

    ¡°Whatever, I can cut it. Can¡¯t I?¡±

    ¡°Of course you can, but I think it¡¯s cute.¡±

    ¡°Cute is one thing, but this is stupid cute. I look like the diversity hire for the Lollipop Guild, for fuck¡¯s sake.¡±

    She started to ignore me and kept on with the program. ¡°A couple of notes.¡± She read from the card again:

    Racial benefits of half-elves include enhanced Night Vision, Internal Navigation, and shadow skills. Urban Half-Elves also have The Gift of Tongues, allowing them to speak the natural languages of all enlightened species with city-sized settlements of five thousand or more.

    ¡°Do I get, like, a veto or something?¡±

    ¡°No, you don¡¯t.¡± She glared at me.

    I was ruining the vibe of the show. But damn? I wanted a kick-ass Half-Orc or a tall Rivendell Elf with a killer bow and long, sexy dress. Or even something like that sexy blond chick that Conan was banging in the movie. Not Mitsuri from Demon Slayer. I mean, all the party members I met looked way more fabulous.

    She eased her posture and sighed. The music had stopped. ¡°This is a lot for you to take in.¡± She was standing next to the platform. My little avatar was rotating, the head at tits level with the woman.

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°You didn¡¯t get to choose how you started life in your old world, did you?¡±

    ¡°Um, no, not really.¡±

    ¡°Do you think you would have chosen something different if you had the choice?¡±

    I thought about it. Of course, I would have. I would have looked like my sister, to be honest with myself. But I wasn¡¯t unhappy with myself. I liked the skin I was in. But standout-ish it wasn¡¯t. It suited who I was well enough.

    I was just standing there, not standing, because, I still had no body, looking at the Sugar Rush driver spinning on the platform. Big eyes, freckles. Oh boy.

    ¡°Okay,¡± I said with resignation. ¡°Fine.¡±

    ¡°Can we move on? We have a lot to cover.¡±

    ¡°Cool with me, but I¡¯m kind of over the heavy metal thing now that I look like the newest resident of Lazy Town all grown up.¡±

    ¡°Okay then. Next, we have to customize.¡±

    ¡°Alrighty then.¡±

    ¡°Assign five points to your base attributes, but you can¡¯t assign more than three to any single attribute.¡±

    ¡°Okay, so running is endurance, right?¡±

    ¡°How fast you run is based on strength and dexterity. How long you can run is based on your endurance.¡±

    ¡°Okay then, let¡¯s put two in strength, one in charisma, and two in endurance. Can I change these before we¡¯re done?¡±

    ¡°You can one time.¡±

    My ability scores were now updated with the newly added points:

    Strength: 5

    Dexterity: 8

    Spirit: 6

    Charisma: 11

    Intelligence: 13

    Endurance: 8

    Luck: 9

    The average human score is five; I looked at the scores above the pink head. I was now at average human strength, but everything else was above average. For the first time, I was starting to feel excited about what was happening. The body shifted, and the extra Strength and Dexterity buffed the muscles slightly.

    ¡°What¡¯s next?¡±

    ¡°We can calculate your Adrenaline, Essence, and Vitality Points.

    ¡°Remind me about those?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯d be nice if you rubbed some please on that, but okay. Those points are used to power skills and spells. The first two are ways that your mind and body connect and channel the magic of Nya. The third is the measure of your overall health.¡±

    ¡°Okay then, what have you got?¡±

    ¡°Adrenaline points are the average of strength, dexterity, and endurance, plus the total of those attributes, times five, and rounded up. Your current attributes give you one hundred forty adrenaline points.¡±

    ¡°I have no idea what that means.¡±

    ¡°As a starting fighter, you have the skill slash. It triples the damage you deal with a blade. Before you attack, you mentally engage the skill. The cost is twenty-five AP. Your body can also use AP to avoid becoming fatigued.¡±

    ¡°How do I recover AP?¡±

    ¡°It regenerates at five points per second at level one. As you move up, it recovers faster. It can also be filled with potions or other skill moves.¡±

    ¡°Okay, Great. What about essence points, then?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s the same basic formula: The average of spirit and intelligence, plus the total of the attributes, times five, rounded up. For you, it would be one hundred and twenty-eight. It regenerates at five points per second also.¡±

    ¡°And that¡¯s used to access magical spells?¡±

    ¡°Yes, priests use a different form of the same thing, with the same numbers, but the points are only regenerated if they are in good standing with their god.¡±

    ¡°Their god? Like, gods are real?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡±

    ¡°Weird.¡±

    ¡°Okay, Vitality then.¡±

    ¡°Vitality is the measure of your life; when the number hits below zero, you die. It can only regenerate outside combat, when you sleep, or with potions or healing spells.¡±

    ¡°All right, then, how do we calculate that?

    ¡°It is the average of all attributes, plus the sum of all attributes, times the luck attribute, and rounded up. For you, it would be six hundred eighteen.¡±

    ¡°I have no idea what that means.¡±

    ¡°When you killed your first orc, the damage you inflicted with the axe was seventy-five points, plus the base attack of eighteen points, which tripled from the hit on a critical area, and since the orc was intoxicated, tripled again. He had a vitality of eight hundred sixteen, but you dealt a single blow of eight hundred and thirty-seven; you killed him.¡±

    ¡°Alrighty, my little six hundred and change vitality isn¡¯t all that great.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a place to start.¡±

    I thought about things for a moment. ¡°We¡¯re almost done, right?¡±

    ¡°We have two more areas to cover after this.¡±

    ¡°Will any of those change my attributes?¡±

    ¡°No.¡±

    ¡°I want to change my point allocation. Instead of putting two into endurance, put one into it and one into luck. Let me see what that looks like.¡±

    ¡°No problem, here you go.¡±

    Strength: 5

    Dexterity: 8

    Spirit: 6

    Charisma: 11

    Intelligence: 13

    Endurance: 7

    Luck: 10

    Adrenaline Points: 134

    RC 5 pts/sec

    Essence Points: 128

    RC 5 pts/sec

    Vitality Points: 686

    RC 5 pts/sec

    I took a good look at the half-urban-elf girl standing in front of me. She was oddly cute in that ¡°Hey, you could bench-press me¡± kind of way. The muscles were noticeably more defined¡ªbroader shoulders, thicker thighs, and arms well on their way to rocking some lady guns. Strength and Dexterity points would do that, I guess.

    Her face was familiar, but...off. Like a sister or a cousin from a parallel universe. Except, nope. That was me. Or rather, it would be me. My suspicion was confirmed as she turned around, revealing my moon tattoo peeking just visible beneath the hot pink explosion of cotton candy hair.

    ¡°So, uh, what¡¯s the deal with Luck? Am I gonna crush it at blackjack or something?¡± I asked, eyeing the numbers on the stats list.

    ¡°It¡¯s not that kind of luck,¡± came the reply. ¡°It¡¯s more about influencing random chance in your favor, better odds of landing critical hits, dodging attacks, and nailing skill checks. But cards or dice? Not so much.¡±

    ¡°Bummer,¡± I muttered, feeling a little cheated.

    Before I could complain further, the room plunged into darkness. A wave of vertigo slammed into me, and I hit the ground. It wasn¡¯t painful, more like an awkward tumble onto something soft. I scrambled to my feet, and, whoa, my body moved like it was on a finely tuned suspension system. I couldn¡¯t resist testing it, hopping up a little as I stood. Yep, springy.

    Looking down, I was in the middle of the same room, but now in her body¡ªmy new body. I was wearing the tunic and pants Gem provided me. They fit like a glove, thanks to the autofit enchantment. My perspective was...different. Closer to the ground, for one. And my hair¡ªoh, the hair. A riot of colorful fluff that refused to stay out of my eyes. I blew at it in frustration, only for it to bounce right back into place like some caffeinated slinky.

    ¡°How do I¡ªFUCK!¡± I slapped my hand over my mouth. ¡°What the shit?¡± I muttered, startled at the sound that just came out of me.

    The pitch of my voice had changed. Higher. At least an octave. It wasn¡¯t like I inhaled helium or anything, but it was way up from where I used to be. Natural, sure, but it sounded like¡­ well, like I was twelve.

    ¡°Yeah, about that¡­¡± came her voice, laced with some barely contained amusement.

    ¡°What the fuck happened to my voice?¡± I demanded, loud enough to make it worse. Then, in a fit of frustration, I squeaked, ¡°MOTHER FUCKER!¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re just¡­ a smaller-sized person,¡± she said, smiling down at me as if I were an adorable kitten. ¡°Smaller throat, smaller larynx, and all that.¡±

    ¡°I mean¡­¡± I trailed off, trying to process it. It felt strange but also familiar in some weird way. I¡¯d always had a low voice since I trained it that way. I thought it made me sound more intelligent. I growled, trying to summon something dark and menacing. No luck with that. The sound that came out was more adorable than anything.

    I huffed in frustration, then sang, ¡°La, la, la,¡± just to get a feel.

    Deciding to really test it, I launched into a tongue twister.

    ¡°How much wood would a woodchuck chuck

    If a woodchuck could chuck wood?

    He would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would

    If a woodchuck could chuck wood!¡±

    It came out a little¡­ otherworldly. The worst part? My inner voice seemed to have taken on this new, higher pitch. Great. Just what I needed.

    ¡°It would have been nice to get a bit of heads up that this would have happened.¡±

    ¡°Well, I didn¡¯t want to overload you with everything you¡¯d have to get used to.¡± She gestured at my new body like I was a mannequin in a discount store. ¡°I mean, I didn¡¯t even mention that you¡¯re now going to have trouble reaching the top shelf.¡±

    ¡°Great,¡± I grumbled, trying to avoid sounding like an angry middle schooler. ¡°How tall am I, then?¡±

    ¡°Four feet, ten inches.¡±

    ¡°Fuck!¡± I spun around, looking down at myself. ¡°I used to be five-six.¡±

    ¡°Seems so,¡± she said, unbothered. ¡°Urban elves are one of the shortest elven races. Most don¡¯t top four feet.¡±

    ¡°Jesus H.¡± I stared down at my tiny feet, now suspiciously closer than the old ones were. I shrugged, feeling the weight of my new reality. ¡°I didn¡¯t think this body would feel¡­ like this.¡±

    The woman stayed silent momentarily, her expression softening into a genuine smile. Not mean, not teasing, just¡­ kind.

    ¡°What?¡± I asked, narrowing my eyes as I tried to read her. ¡°Why are you looking at me like that?¡±

    ¡°How do you feel?¡± she asked.

    ¡°Stupid.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± she said patiently. ¡°How does your body feel?¡±

    I glanced down at myself, flexing my fingers experimentally. My hands were lean and strong, their grip powerful. I clenched a fist, feeling a surge of energy ripple through me. This wasn¡¯t just stronger than the average human. It was stronger than I¡¯d ever been in my entire life.

    Curiosity sparked, and I jumped. My head soared well above hers as I grinned midair, landing lightly on the soft floor. Exhilaration bubbled up, and before I could stop myself, I leaned back and flipped, landing on my feet with a flourish.

    ¡°Wow!¡± I gasped, adrenaline coursing through me. This was me. A body that finally did everything I wanted it to, with the potential to do so much more. And it was all connected to my brain, my mind like it had been waiting for me all along.

    ¡°You see?¡± she said, her grin widening. ¡°You¡¯re just smaller. You¡¯re not weaker. You¡¯re becoming the person you¡¯re meant to be. This is what this world does.¡±

    ¡°This is so¡­ fucking strange,¡± I said, my voice caught somewhere between awe and disbelief.

    ¡°Sweetie,¡± she said with a knowing shrug, ¡°strange is the default setting for this world.¡±

    I bounced a couple more times, testing my new agility before finally settling down. ¡°So¡­ now what?¡±

    ¡°Well, now for the fun part.¡± She clapped her hands with a new, wider, more excited grin. ¡°Rifter bonus time!¡± She spun around dramatically, pointing to the glowing wheel of fortune that appeared with a whoosh. ¡°Wheel time!¡±

    Without any of the over-the-top heavy metal fanfare, the wheel spun, its surface packed with nearly unreadable categories. There were pets, gold amounts, magical items, starter packs, mounts, and way too many others to decipher as the blur of colors zipped by. Three ominous red spots labeled Nothing stood out starkly among the chaos.

    ¡°You get three spins,¡± the woman said. Her tone was casual, but there was a weight in her words that made me suspicious. ¡°These will give you a leg up when you start.¡±

    ¡°Cool,¡± I said, stepping forward. I grabbed the wheel with my slender elf hand and spun it. As the wheel turned, I got momentarily distracted, examining my new hand. It looked delicate but was surprisingly strong. I turned it over and examined the shining nails. I smiled. Elven beauty? I thought.

    The clicking of the wheel brought my attention back to the moment, its steady rhythm oddly suspenseful. Click, click, click, click... click... click.

    It finally stopped on Enhanced Starter Kit.

    ¡°Once you leave generation,¡± the woman explained, ¡°you¡¯ll receive a kit of objects, skills, spells, and basic resources. It¡¯s tailored to your chosen class and consistent with what a level-two adventurer with moderate resources would have. It¡¯s meant to give you a head start.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s nice,¡± I said, reaching for the wheel again. ¡°You said skills and spells?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Skills and spells, along with armor, weapons, supplies, and some gold,¡± she confirmed.

    I spun the wheel again. This time, I noticed that the Enhanced Starter Kit segment had vanished and been replaced by another red Nothing. Four Nothing spots loomed on the wheel, their presence growing more menacing.

    ¡°What happens if I land on Nothing?¡±

    ¡°Then you get nothing.¡±

    ¡°Swell.¡±

    The wheel kept spinning. Goodies zoomed by: ten thousand gold, enchanted bow, horse, even a pet monkey. Click, click, click, click¡­ click¡­ click.

    ¡°You¡¯ve got to be fucking kidding me.¡±

    It landed squarely in the Nothing section. I stomped my foot on the soft pillow ground, but it was utterly unsatisfying. I did it again, just to be sure. Yep, the ground was just too squishy for a satisfying foot stomp.

    ¡°You get one more spin,¡± the woman said. ¡°Make it count.¡±

    I gave the wheel another spin and turned away, my mind still reeling. The absurdity of the situation hit me. I was having fun. I was in the middle of what could only be described as a character creation screen in a game. It felt like a damn game, and I was enjoying it. There were stats, levels, points, everything. Why the hell was it like this? This was supposed to be real, wasn¡¯t it? I''d seen danger, actual death. I¡¯d killed. That shit was real. And now here I was, spinning a wheel like I was in some kind of video game.

    Click, click, click, click¡­ click¡­ click.

    ¡°Hmm,¡± the woman said. ¡°Good one.¡±

    I turned, expecting to see Nothing again. But no, the wheel had landed on Null Space Storage.

    ¡°What¡¯s a null space storage?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯ll be able to store any object you can lift into a six-cubic-foot null space,¡± she explained. ¡°Most people on Nya use enchanted objects for this, but personal null spaces are scarce.¡±

    ¡°You mean... I get a personal inventory system?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± she confirmed as the wheel vanished. ¡°You get 216 feet of storage that you can take wherever you go. Only you can access it. It¡¯s more secure than a bank vault. You can loot bodies without touching them and receive rewards and trades directly, among other things. It¡¯s null space and time, meaning anything you put in won¡¯t age or decay. It keeps the hot stuff hot and the cold stuff cold.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s pretty awesome.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, well, it has its limits. Anything suppressing magic will make it inaccessible.¡±

    It all felt so strange to me. This whole process is awesome and cool, sure, but also off. The vibe in here didn¡¯t match the brutal reality out there. I thought about that Prairie Orc, his head split open by the magical axe I had been swinging. The blood, the weight of the fight, the harshness of it all. And then I looked around this space, all shiny and whimsical, like some kind of fantasy buffet with spinning wheels and a kicking soundtrack. It didn¡¯t add up. And why the hell was it even called Character Creation? Was I just a character now?

    ¡°You know,¡± I said, trying to sound casual, ¡°this whole thing feels a bit... video-gamey.¡±

    ¡°This isn¡¯t a game, Regan,¡± the woman said, her tone suddenly stern. ¡°You¡¯ve seen what happens out there. It¡¯s very real.¡±

    ¡°Then why does it feel like a game?¡±

    The woman paused, a faint smile tugging at her lips. ¡°You know,¡± she said, tilting her head slightly, ¡°you never asked who I am.¡±

    ¡°Okay. Who are you?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m The Whisperer,¡± she said, watching me closely. ¡°Do you know what that means?¡±

    ¡°Nope.¡±

    ¡°I am how you connect to the magic of Nya.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± I muttered, narrowing my eyes at her, ¡°you¡¯re not exactly whispering.¡±

    ¡°Those native to Nya are born into the world of magic. They¡¯ve known it their entire lives. I do the same thing for them that I do for you. But to them, I¡¯m just a quiet, faceless force. A whisper in their minds that guides them through the realm of magic. They have a native understanding. All of this¡­¡± she waved her hand around the room. ¡°It isn¡¯t necessary for them.¡±

    ¡°So, it feels like a game because that¡¯s what I understand.¡±

    ¡°Exactly.¡± The Whisperer grinned, the expression almost playful. ¡°You needed a rocking hottie to show you around, and that¡¯s what you got. You needed stats and points to describe your abilities, so I enumerated them for you.¡±

    ¡°So, others don¡¯t use the numbers like that?¡±

    ¡°They do, and they don¡¯t. Magic in this world is very, very powerful. It¡¯s the operating system that Nya runs on. I¡¯m the interface that allows you to access it. When you speak to others about your abilities, you¡¯ll use the words you understand, and they¡¯ll use the words they understand. But you¡¯ll understand each other. I¡¯m just your interface. The bridge.¡±

    ¡°You are translating language spoken to me in real time?¡±

    ¡°Yes.¡± She smiled proudly. ¡°I am part of your mind. A part that is powered by magic. It is one of the most primal energies in this world, and it is hired wired into every living thing on the planet.¡±

    She paused, letting that sink in. ¡°I¡¯m part of your mind that interprets the magical energies of the world and helps you understand them. Kind of like your phone. Back on Earth, you couldn¡¯t just start yelling into the air and connect to digital data, right? You needed a device. On Nya, that¡¯s me.¡±

    ¡°Okay, but where do you come from?¡±

    ¡°Some people believe I¡¯m part of the pantheon of gods,¡± she said, spreading her arms with a smirk. ¡°I mean, look at me. But I am unique to you.¡±

    I just sighed. The flood of information was overwhelming, like drinking from a fire hose. I looked down at my new body: crazy pink hair, rocking new tits, tiny hands and feet. Despite its absurdity, it felt right. This body vibrated with energy. I felt strong. My mind was sharp and focused. It was all so new. It felt like I was finally stepping into something I¡¯d been waiting for, even if I didn¡¯t know exactly what it was.

    ¡°Don¡¯t have much back home,¡± I said. ¡°But I love my sister and my parents.¡±

    Yeah,¡± The Whisper said sympathetically with a gentle sigh. ¡°That sucks.¡±

    ¡°What will happen to them?¡±

    ¡°They will live their lives. They will miss you and mourn you.¡±

    ¡°So, no one has ever gone back?¡±

    ¡°If you, in your half-elf body, were to travel to a world without magic, your face would melt off.¡±

    ¡°But is there a way?¡±

    ¡°No, there isn¡¯t. Even if you somehow survived, there¡¯s no vehicle or method to return to your world.¡±

    ¡°I asked if anyone ever went back.¡±

    ¡°And I¡¯m telling you, no one ever has.¡± Her voice was steady, confident. ¡°It¡¯s a one-way trip. It¡¯s caused by a surge of magic that rips a hole in space and time. You need to let that shit go.¡±

    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t lie to me, would you?¡±

    ¡°Girlfriend,¡± She said, sounding almost amused. ¡°Two things. First of all, I am you. A part of you, at least. My job is to tell you what you need to know, so no lies. Second, there¡¯s no agenda behind the magic that pulled you here. It¡¯s just a force of nature. Rain doesn¡¯t give a shit who gets wet. It just fucking falls, okay?¡±

    ¡°But all this¡­¡± I gestured around the room. ¡°¡­It has to have some intent behind it. It¡¯s nuts.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re the one that made all of this,¡± Her grin was sharp.

    ¡°But why would a force of nature ensure I had a chance of survival? Why give a shit if there are no shits to give?¡±

    ¡°I said a force of nature. The world is constantly seeking balance. Beings like you, coming in, are infused with magic. It just happens.¡±

    ¡°But why are we not just turned into mutant monsters? If it was just nothing but random shit, we¡¯d get flooded with magic, and that would be it. There must be some purpose behind us getting starter kits, new races, and a fresh start in the world.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s the way the magic in the world balances,¡± She explained. ¡°It makes no sense because we can¡¯t see the whole picture.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s put a pin in this,¡± I said, throwing my hands up. ¡°I¡¯m calling bullshit for the record, though.¡±

    ¡°Whatever, kid,¡± She replied, sounding mildly amused. ¡°You¡¯re not going to be the last one who thinks all this crap makes sense.¡±

    ¡°So, what¡¯s left anyway?¡± I plopped down on the ground, looking at my feet. They were so tiny. But then again, they didn¡¯t feel tiny since I was smaller.

    ¡°You pick a class to start,¡± she said.

    ¡°You mean like a job?¡±

    ¡°Once you leave, you¡¯ll need to pick and learn classes as you go along. But as a rifter, you¡¯ll get one free to start you out. Consider your attributes carefully. There are a limited number of classes you can choose to begin with. Jobs within each class are unlocked through training or experience. Individual skills are unlocked the same way.¡±

    ¡°So, what are my starter classes?¡±

    With a final dramatic flourish, The Whisper whipped out a new stack of cards and read off the descriptions. The magical PowerPoint started up again:

    Mage (Intelligence, Spirit, Luck)

    Warlocks, Wizards, Witches, and all schools of magic users. Working with your mind, spirit, and dumb luck to capture, manipulate, and use magic to whatever ends suit your needs. The Mage class is not just for nerds; nerds are the best at it.

    Fighter (Strength, Dexterity, Endurance)

    Whether you fight for coin, your god, your king, or because you¡¯re just an asshole, fighters are the first to pick up a sword or rock to prove a point. Paladins, Mercenaries, Pit Fighters, Bouncers, and Monks are but a few in this noble fraternity. It doesn¡¯t take too many brains;, a few too many hits to the head, and you might not have any.

    Rogue (Dexterity, Charisma, Intelligence)

    Let the Fighters fight fairly. Everyone knows that fighting dirty is the best way to ensure survival. And taking care of yourself along the way ain¡¯t too shabby, either. Thieves, Assassins, Spies, and even Bards use their minds and charm as much as their arsenal of skills to stab, poison, and rob their way to success.

    Priest (Spirit, Charisma, Intelligence)

    You¡¯ve heard the call; you¡¯ve seen the visions. Priests, Nuns, Druids, and Clergy of all kinds fight the good fight for the big one above. Power comes from on high to smite those who fucking deserve it. With a pantheon of gods to choose from, the Priest class is full of people kicking ass and saving souls.

    Artificer (Dexterity, Intelligence, Spirit)

    Someone in this crazy world has to do the actual work! Artificers craft, brew, cook, forge, and invent everything needed to keep the world running. Blacksmiths, Enchanters, Alchemists, Beast Tamers, and all the other working stiffs are included in this group. It doesn¡¯t mean you can¡¯t be tough, but an artificer is more about making the tools than using them. Great artificers are sought after and paid handsomely for their work.

    I looked over the list as it hung in front of me. It was like I was perusing a restaurant menu, unsure of what I wanted. I didn¡¯t know what I was good at yet, so I wasn¡¯t sure what the best choice would be. Should I be thinking long-term or short-term?  But I had to pick something. I went through mental images of myself in each of the roles. The imagery wasn¡¯t exactly flattering. In my head, I looked like a cartoon, clumsy, over-the-top, and out of place. I sighed.

    ¡°I choose Rogue.¡±

 Chapter Four: Helloooo Nurse!

    Chapter Four: Helloooo Nurse!

    The whisperer shouted in my head, excited as more words in Ariel appeared in front of my face. She read them off to me as they scrolled past:

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    You have chosen race and class! You can now gain experience.

    You have successfully engaged a creature in combat.

    Combat experience unlocked.

    You have killed a creature! Prairie Orc. Experience plus 95!

    You helped kill a creature! Prairie Orc. Experience plus 70!

    You have passed level 10 Charisma.

    Negotiation Level 1 Unlocked.

    Negotiation Level 1

    When sitting down with an adversary or trading partner, you have a better chance to work out an arrangement in your favor. Work deals, negotiate prices, and spin information to increase the level of this skill.

    You have passed level 10 Intelligence.

    Arcana Level 1 Unlocked

    Arcana Level 1

    The ¡°metadata¡± of an object. There¡¯s a lot of weird shit out there, like Antique Roadshow on acid. You will find that every object you touch belongs to some guy who lived somewhere that did something. Finding out the history and information of these objects is easier when using the Appraisal Spell.

    You have reached level 10 Luck.

    Misfire Level 1 Unlocked

    Misfire Level 1

    Just because you¡¯re stupid doesn¡¯t mean you have to die. Any trap you spring now has a chance to misfire.

    The text faded as I opened my eyes. I was lying on a blanket in the barn. I had no clue how long I''d been there, but it was pitch dark outside. Through the gaps in the planks, I could see the flicker of a fire, its light dancing faintly in the night.

    I was in the new body. It felt... like it had during the creation process, normal, but not.  It was familiar but absolutely 100% freaky as Hell. The pants and tunic I wore fit fine, but the fabric was scratchy, especially against my skin. I had no undies, so my nipples were keeping score.

    The barn was dark, yet with my enhanced vision, it might as well have been high noon. The downside? The colors looked washed out like someone had cranked the saturation down to fifty percent. I instinctively rubbed my eyes before remembering. Oh yeah, that¡¯s just how my new ability works. Thanks, brain.

    I looked around for my old clothes, but they were gone. Completely. Well, except for my Converse. Those were still there. I slipped them on only to discover they were now clown shoes. My stupid tiny feet had gone from a size six to maybe a four and a half.

    Next to the blanket was a canvas sack about the size of a tall kitchen garbage bag. Whatever was inside? I had no clue, but it was going to be part of this weird new reality.

    Enhanced Starter Supplies

    It''s the same old Arial font, just as when I started, with sparkles. The Whisperer¡¯s voice was excited as she read it to me in my head.

    Place in Storage.

    I lifted the bag with a grunt. How do I get this into my storage? Just as I was thinking about adding the bag to my inventory, it just added itself, and my hand jerked up sharply with the weight removed.

    ¡°Okay, how do I- OKAY?¡±

    I was just about to ask how to examine the contents when they appeared before my field of vision. The inventory system opened up like a spreadsheet. On the left were categories of objects. Apparel, Armor, Weapons, Potions, Food, and a dozen others. Including the sack. My GP, currently three hundred and eleven, was in the lower right-hand corner.

    The kit supplied me with basic survival gear: ropes, torches, lamps, fishing gear, blankets, flint, etc. There were also a couple of moderately quality vitality, adrenaline, and essence potions. I sifted through the inventory of objects. I just had to think of the item''s name with the intent of holding it, and it appeared in my hand.

    I was given three weapons: a dagger, a short sword, and a short bow with one hundred arrows. A notice appeared in my vision as I examined each in my inventory. Level 1. It looked like the starter kit included a base of combat skills for a roguish girl like myself. These were non-magical weapons with unremarkable damage capability, but they would give me opportunities to learn to fight. I still had Sick Stick, which was pretty fucking fantastic since it had the debuff and dexterity and strength bonuses.

    The kit also included a set of leather armor capable of ¡°modest¡± protection. I didn¡¯t see myself running around in heavy plate metal if I was trying to be sneaky; the armor provided no performance bonuses. I also found a small variety of dresses, pants, shoes, stockings, and underwear of various styles. There was even a ¡°fine¡± dress resembling a red velvet medieval cosplay outfit.

    I also found rogue tools of the trade. There were thirty feet of extra light silk rope: a grappling hook, a glass cutter, a prybar, and climbing gloves. There were hoods, robes, soft-soled shoes, and a lighter set of black cloth studded armor, ideal for sneaking around.

    I also had a set of lock picks. I pulled them out and examined them. There were about a dozen and a half different hooked and grooved tools. I examined them and, to my astonishment, knew how they worked. Each had a clear and concise purpose, and I understood their functions. The Whisperer said I would be getting a set of basic Rogue skills. Since I wouldn¡¯t be kicking down any doors with my pitiful strength any time soon¡­

    Back on the inventory screen, I could see a list of equipped items. I unequipped my shoes, and they vanished from my feet with a Vwip! My bare feet sunk into the straw. I selected a pair of soft-soled shoes and equipped them. They appeared on my feet with another Vwip! They buckled precisely. I applied underwear and a bra, which sent a shiver through my body.

    I took a moment to read over my Character Sheet. It was a ridiculous thing to call it, but it does make sense; at least I understood how magic worked within me because of it. It flowed into my vision, just like something out of D&D with boxes, some corny art, the works. It was intuitive; I could select an individual element, and The Whisperer would explain it to me; I could expand and collapse sections, just like a spreadsheet with a snarky sense of humor. This was how I could view myself in a world of magic:

    <u>Character Sheet: Regan Summer</u>

    Half Human, Half Urban Elf Level 1

    Height: 4 feet, 10 inches Weight: 90 pounds

    Hair: Pink Complexion: Imperial Urban Fair

    Origin: Earth

    <u>Classes:</u>

    Rogue: Level 1

    Rogue Jobs: 0

    <u>Base Attributes:</u>

    Strength: 5

    Dexterity: 8

    Spirit: 6

    Charisma: 11

    Intelligence: 13

    Endurance: 7

    Luck: 10

    Adrenaline Points: 134/134

    Recovery: 5 pts/sec

    Essence Points: 143/143

    Recovery: 5 pts/sec

    Vitality Points: 686/686

    Recovery: 5 pts/sec outside of combat.

    <u>Skills:</u>

    <u>Racial Skills:</u>

    Night Vision:

    Half Elves can see in low light levels at the cost of color sensitivity. Range of vision: 30 yards in near total darkness. Full daytime vision in a regular night environment at a cost of 50% color perception.

    Hide in Shadows:

    Elves are a naturally sneaky bunch. Half Elves, even more so. This racial skill will allow the half-elf to hide in shadows, making them 2x less detectable, so long as they are not moving. This skill is automatic, does not cost AP, and can be stacked with other stealth skills.

    Internal Navigation:

    After studying a standard map, half-elves can fully visualize their place on the map and objects and destinations within the scope of the map.

    Gift of Tongues:

    Urban elves have lived closely with most other races for thousands of years, and as such, they have gained the ability to communicate verbally with most of them. This gift is also passed to half-urban elves. Half-urban elves can seamlessly speak with any enlightened species with a population center of 5,000 or more.

    <u>Rogue Class Skills:</u>

    Back Stab Level 1:

    2x damage on unseen attack. Activation: Automatic. Activation time: Instant, Range: Self. Cost 10AP/attack.

    Stealth Level 1:

    3x less detectable in dark, undercover, or outside line of sight. 3x less audible detection. Activation time: 1 second. Range: Self. Cost: 6AP/Second.

    <u>Enhanced Starter Kit Skills (Rogue):</u>

    Sleight of Hand (Dexterity/Charisma) Level 1

    The art of misdirection, the tool of the thief and conman, Sleight of Hand is the skill of manipulating objects visually to create an illusion of magic. Surely, a Rogue could find this handy.

    Lock Picking (Dexterity/Intelligence) Level 1

    Locks were put on this world for one reason and one reason only. To keep everyone but you out. The art of tumblers, levers, barrels, and plugs. It all comes together in your mind as you work to dismantle the mechanisms between you and your goals.

    Pick Pocketing (Dexterity/Charisma) Level 1

    A quick hand, a quicker mind, a smile and wink, and a tap on the shoulder. All tools of the Pick Pocket. The craft of removing and even adding objects from and to an unsuspecting person. I¡¯m sure you will only use the skill for good.

    Dagger Level 1

    Short Sword Level 1

    Short Bow Level 1

    <u>Enhanced Starter Kit Spells (Rogue):</u>

    Appraisal Level 1

    Allows the person to evaluate any object''s monetary value and magical properties with a moderate degree of success.Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.

    Activation time: 1 second. Range: Self. Cost: 12 EP

    Nudge Level 1:

    Allows a person to apply a slight bit of pressure, equivalent to a gentle nudge, to any creature or object in any direction.

    Activation time: Instant. Range: 20 feet. Cost: 20 EP

    It folded up with a flick of my mind, neatly tucked away in my brain somewhere. My vision now had a HUD. There was a map in the corner, some health bars, and virtual buttons to press to access everything. I instinctively knew how to access everything, but right now, my brain was starting to melt slightly¡ªall that magic and new bodies and whatnot.

    I saw the airplane seat. Sitting in the middle of the barn, I wasn¡¯t sure how I felt about it. I cast Nudge on the sleeping hen, and she flopped off, wings fluttering as she complained. With a grunt, I lifted the heavy thing and added it to my storage. I doubted I¡¯d have a use for it, but I could haul it around with me; there didn¡¯t seem to be much sense in just tossing anything away as long as I had space.

    I looked at the door and sighed. There was a world out there, a big, mean, stinky world with orcs, ogres, elves, and people that looked and dressed like larpers.

    I didn¡¯t know if I was ready or not. I felt like the new kid at school, about to walk into the junior high building full of the meanest girls in the universe. I sat on my butt: crisscross applesauce. I smiled; I always said that in my head when I sat cross-legged with a little inner giggle. I just wanted to give myself a moment.

    I took a few deep breaths and closed my eyes. I imagined myself in my room at home, sitting on my bed just like this. I could feel the AC blowing from the vent over my head, chilling the back of my neck. I could hear Dad upstairs, working away in the kitchen as he made one of the five menu items he had planned for dinner this week. Mom was there, too, quietly reading over a file she brought back from the office.

    I¡¯m not, like, a meditative person or anything. This wasn¡¯t some exercise; I just wanted a tiny slice of time to be the old Regan.

    ¡°Well, new girl,¡± I whispered out loud in my silly little Elf voice. ¡°You can stay here with the bleating goat, but eventually, that world¡¯s gonna make its way in.¡±

    I got up, no grunting or moaning. These springy little legs did the job pretty well. I took a deep breath and pushed open the squeaky barn door.

    The outside world was just as grey and colorless as the dark barn, but the firelight filled the party of mercenaries with rich, vibrant colors. I stepped out delicately. I wasn¡¯t trying to be sneaky; it felt different to me, the world. It was like getting into a swimming pool on the deep end when you were pretty sure you knew how to swim but weren¡¯t quite sure.

    The crew was sitting around the fire. On the side of it was a small rack of skewered meat and vegetables sizzling quietly. Kev sat next to it and was giving the meat a poke with his knife to check it. He was shirtless, and the fire danced across the hills and valleys of his muscles. He may have been an orc with a bit of a gorilla face, but damn, that body was something, and I found my eyes lingering on his abs and my mind lingering on the bits below. Gem sat on the opposite side, with Jinx in the middle. His robe was gone, and he wore a tunic and pants similar to mine. Gem wore a light dress resembling basic linin with a little blanket around her shoulders. Her tail poked out the back, swaying casually behind the makeshift log slash bench she sat on.

    Two horses were hitched next to the barn, and a large wooden wagon stood across the open area beside one of the huts. With my vision, I could see the tree line from here; I could see the buildings, pretty much the entire area, just like I did when the sun was up. The world was grey and washed out, except for the group around the campfire; the light filled the circle of people with vivid Wizard of Oz color in a sea of sepia.

    I let out a slight cough. To announce myself. I didn¡¯t know how to approach the group. I just stood there, my arms gripping themselves. All sets of eyes turned my way; the reactions were hardly subtle:

    ¡°Helloooo Nurse!¡± Gem called cheerfully. ¡°It¡¯s been a couple of hours. I wasn¡¯t sure if you were coming out or not.¡±

    ¡°Holy shit!¡± Jinx chuckled. "You ain''t the bleedin'' same, that''s for sure!¡±

    Kev just smiled for a second before realizing he should say something. ¡°I like it.¡±

    ¡°Room for one more?¡± I asked quietly.

    ¡°And you sound different,¡± Kev said.

    ¡°Yeah, smaller body, smaller voice.¡±

    ¡°It works,¡± Gem said.

    ¡°The voice?¡±

    ¡°The whole thing.¡± Gem was looking me up and down like a predator sizing up prey. I instinctively leaned back. Her eyes were large and expressive, and I found myself pulled into their gaze a little too easily.

    ¡°So, Yeah,¡± I said. I couldn¡¯t hide my self-consciousness, so I just leaned into it. But fuck, the sheepishness of my voice only made me sound sillier. ¡°I¡¯m kind of a Half Urban Elf now. All the good stuff? None the bad? At least that¡¯s what I was told.¡± I gave a little pose with jazz hands and an uneasy smile.

    Gem was the closest to me. She stood, offering me her hand. ¡°Have a seat, sweety.¡±

    I stepped over and took it. ¡°Hello Nurse?¡± We sat next to each other, my shoulder touching her right arm.

    ¡°Jinx says it a lot when he sees a sexy girl.¡±

    ¡°For the sake of the god¡¯s Gem,¡± Kev said sternly. ¡°She¡¯s brand new. Ease up.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not new.¡± I narrowed my eyes at him. ¡°I¡¯m twenty-six.¡±

    ¡°For a half-elf, that¡¯s new,¡± Jinx said. ¡°They ain''t usually done growin'' up till they''re thirty or somethin''.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m a fucking teenager?¡±

    ¡°Not exactly. Most ''alf elves come of age at seventeen, same as everyone else, but see, they live a few ''undred years or more, so the body takes a bit o'' time to catch up.¡±

    ¡°I can¡¯t fucking believe this.¡± I sulked on my log slash bench. ¡°I hated being a teenager.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not really a teenager,¡± Gem said.

    It was a chilly night, like an early autumn night back home. The fire felt perfect. I looked up at the night sky. It was pitch black, but with enhanced eyes, the stars blazed with brilliance I had never seen before. The Milky Way ran from horizon to horizon, so bright I could see waves and waves of distant stars inside it. I recognized the Big and Little Dippers and some of the other constellations from back home. I was kicking myself for not learning more about them.

    ¡°The sky¡¯s the same.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jinx said. ¡°The moon¡¯s proper different these ¡®ere. It''s, like, massive. Some say there''s folk living up there, but who really knows, eh?¡± He sounded a bit melancholy. ¡°It ain''t risin'' till two nights from now, but it''s gonna be a right sight for yer eyes. But Yeah, the land''s almost the same as it was, but the weather''s all changed up.¡±

    ¡°That doesn¡¯t make any sense. Why would this be just like Earth?¡±

    ¡°They taught me that there are different versions of Nya in school,¡± Kev said. ¡°Some like yours, with no magic, some with just oceans and no land, all kinds.¡±

    ¡°Who taught you that?¡± Jinx asked. He had pulled a small ceramic flask out of his robe.

    ¡°The priests at my school,¡± Kev said, leaning around and reaching for the flask.

    ¡°Yeah? They got a clue what they''re on about?¡± He took a drag and handed the flask over.

    ¡°I think so.¡± Kev took the flask and brought it up to his lips. ¡°Church of Xaldes.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jinx said. ¡°Yeah, they probably do, mate. Got that air of know-how about ''em.¡± He took it back and handed it over to me.

    ¡°What¡¯s Xaldes?¡± I asked. I sniffed at the contents. It smelled smokey, like Scotch, but with a sweetness like honey. I took a sip. It tasted like kettle corn with a touch of salt and smoke. It felt warm and slid gently down my throat.

    Kev answered. ¡°She¡¯s the Goddess of the sky, the universe, the mechanics of heavens.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s right about different worlds, I guess.¡± I handed the flask to Gem. ¡°Where¡¯s that Heather chick?¡±  It was just the four of us around the fire. I just realized.

    ¡°She turned in,¡± Kev said. ¡°She¡¯s not part of the group. We hired the Church of Amania to lend us a healer.¡±

    ¡°And we got her,¡± Gem said bitterly. She took a swig and handed it back to me. ¡°We aren¡¯t her kind of people.¡±

    ¡°Not a fan of purity types,¡± I said. ¡°They never really like me all that much back home either.¡±

    ¡°Now I¡¯m interested,¡± Gem looked at me with an impish grin.

    ¡°Those people give us a hard time where I come from.¡±

    ¡°Oi, I thought you was from America, love?¡± Jinx said. He slipped the flask back into his pocket.

    ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s not like it was when you left.¡±

    ¡°So, what kind of people are you?¡± Gem asked coyly.

    ¡°I, uh¡­¡± There was a bit of a roadblock there. I don¡¯t have a problem talking about sexuality; it was just easier to type it out on Discord than to speak about it out loud. Gem obviously was into girls; that helped a bit. But I was almost scared to say anything to her. I mean, she was really into girls. ¡°Sort of the bi kind.¡± It came out quietly, almost like a question. ¡°I mean, I like boys and girls, but I¡¯m not all that sexual?¡± Again, it was not easy. ¡°Like touchy and stuff.¡±

    There was a pause as the group looked at me. Coming out was always a dice roll. It was odd, in any case. The two guys looked at me like I had just told them a joke with no punchline.

    ¡°That¡¯s a first.¡± Jinx chuckled, looking at me with a goofy grin. I missed the joke, whatever it was.

    Gem tilted her head and looked at me appraisingly. ¡°Maybe you just haven¡¯t met the right-¡°

    ¡°Seriously, Gem!¡± Kev interrupted. ¡°Let the girl be.¡± He gave her a stern look. ¡°Besides, we¡¯ve been roughing it for over a week now.¡±

    ¡°What does that have to do with anything?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Well,¡± Kev pulled the first of the skewers off the rack. ¡°We¡¯ve been on the road for a week. We all smell and taste like dead rats.¡±

    ¡°Never stopped me,¡± Gem said.

    ¡°Or me,¡± Jinx chimed in.

    Kev smiled. ¡°Me neither.¡± They all chuckled as he passed a skewer around to everyone.

    I took one and had a bite. The meat tasted gamey but was also tender. I was starving after losing all my food earlier. The vegetables were onion and peppers¡ªclassic kabobs, just like home. A universal constant no matter what world I guessed, I wasn¡¯t sure what the mystery meat was, but it did the trick, and I devoured mine faster than the others and felt full almost immediately. Yeah! Little tummy!

    The group kept up the banter. I was pretty sure their silly jokes and innuendos were for my benefit. They knew I was scared, and they were trying to keep me occupied. As time passed, we finished our meal and had another round of drinks, the others talking about exploits and ribbing each other. It was that way for a long time, just a circle of friends chatting and having fun.

    ¡°I¡¯ll take watch,¡± Kev said, finally standing and signaling the end of the conversation. As was the conversation, the fire was dying down anyway, and someone had to call it.

    ¡°Spell ya halfway.¡± Jinx got to his feet with a grunt. ¡°Night, love.¡± He said to me. ¡°We ''ad a chat while you were in the barn. You can stick with us as long as ya fancy while we wrap up our little countryside tour. Then we''ll ''talk about what comes next, all right?¡±

    ¡°All right,¡± I said with a shrug of my shoulders. I didn¡¯t have a choice except to join the group. It would take one orc attack to turn me into pink and red paste.

    ¡°Yay, team.¡± I gave a little fist bump.

    ¡°Come on,¡± Gem said when she stood. She offered her hand to me. ¡°Girls in the barn.¡±

    ¡°Gem?¡± Kev said sternly.

    ¡°Kev?¡± Gem said in a mocking tone.

    ¡°I¡¯m not gonna jump your bones,¡± Gem told me, her hand held up like she swore an oath. ¡°Promise.¡±

    I took her hand and accepted the help off the log, and the two of us went into the barn. Gem pulled the doors shut.

    ¡°Here,¡± she handed me a clothing bundle out of storage. My clothes from before were folded neatly.

    ¡°They¡¯re clean.¡± I looked at them, amazed that they weren¡¯t ruined.

    ¡°I have a laundry bag.¡± She handed them to me. They felt enormous in my hands. ¡°I thought you might like them without nasty orc blood, even if they don¡¯t fit that well anymore.¡±

    ¡°Thanks.¡± I took the jeans and underwear into storage and held up the t-shirt.

    Gem giggled. ¡°Maybe wear it as a nightgown.¡± She turned away from me, giving me a little privacy.

    I turned around and slipped my bra and tunic into inventory. I pulled my old T-shirt over my head and put it on. It was enormous now, hanging loose on my upper body, almost to my knees. When I turned back, Gem was wearing a rather conservative short-sleeved nightgown.

    ¡°The boys have the watch.¡± She said quietly. ¡°No need to sleep in armor.¡± She grinned and spun around.

    I admired her figure. Her arms were muscular, and her breasts pushed up against the thin fabric of her gown. Her nipples pressed out sharply. With enhanced vision, I could see the outline of her body. She was lean, with narrow hips and broad shoulders. Her strong masculine traits now had a nice little feminine twist that I liked quite a bit. Her fur-covered legs were just so alien to me. I didn¡¯t know exactly what to think.

    ¡°Come on,¡± Gem pulled a blanket out of her inventory. ¡°Lay down, take those leather pants off.¡± She knelt on the blanket that Jinx had given her earlier. ¡°You can¡¯t sleep in fucking leather.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t think I can sleep at all,¡± I said, pulling my pants off, suddenly feeling very naked with my weird, renaissance panties. I lay down, and Gem flopped the blanket over both of us.

    She slipped in next to me onto her back, our shoulders touching. I lay there, tension leaving my body as I closed my eyes.

    ¡°Not exactly how I expected my day to go.¡±

    ¡°How did you expect it to go?¡±

    ¡°Boring. I was just going to land, check into my hotel, and then grab dinner.¡±

    ¡°This would be different.¡± She bumped against me playfully. ¡°You did get dinner. One out of three pretty much worked out.¡±

    I laughed. But then, almost instantly, tension released in me. Adrenaline, fear, anxiety, anger, sorrow, everything that was being held back by sheer will exploded inside of me. I started crying¡ªugly crying. As I sobbed, Gem placed an arm over me.

    ¡°You¡¯ll be okay.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know what to do.¡± I breathlessly gasped between sobs. ¡°I don¡¯t belong here.¡±

    ¡°Of course you do.¡± She sat up on her elbow and looked down at me. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t be here if you shouldn¡¯t be.¡±

    ¡°The Whisperer said that this is all random.¡± I was slowing down, the crying easing up. I felt like a fucking toddler just then.

    ¡°Well, maybe.¡± She smiled down at me. ¡°But there¡¯s more to this world than just chance. My goddess certainly doesn¡¯t leave everything to luck.¡±

    The eruption was over almost as quickly as it began. Her touch was soothing. And yes, I was full of anxiety, but the contact helped. I didn¡¯t feel as isolated as when I exited the barn. Talking helped.

    ¡°Who¡¯s your goddess?¡± I asked, inwardly rolling my eyes. I was never sure about god stuff since I¡¯ve never been much of a subscriber.

    ¡°Dryphine. She is the Goddess of Nature.¡± She smiled and made a small gesture with her free hand. ¡°You may have been randomly plucked from your world, but I know you are here because she willed it.¡±

    ¡°Be sure to ask her next time you talk to her,¡± I said flatly. ¡°Because right now, I feel like an open scab.¡±

    ¡°Well, you¡¯re a half-urban elf, so she may not be your god, but she did deliver you into my life, so I will consider you being here a blessing.¡± She brushed at one of the last tears that ran down my cheek, the rest having already dried up. And followed it up with a little peck. ¡°This is the part where you sleep.¡± She said. ¡°Close your eyes.¡±

    I did as I was told, settling back onto the ground. Gem mirrored me, lying on her back next to me. She shifted closer, leaning her weight just slightly against me. For a long while, we stayed like that, and neither of us said a word. I tried to let my body relax, but it wasn¡¯t easy. Exhaustion eventually started to win. My mind, however? Still racing.

    With my eyes shut, I became hyper-aware of everything: the uneven floor of the barn beneath me, the cool night air, and Gem¡¯s steady presence at my side. She fell asleep quickly, her breathing a soft rhythm, like a metronome for the universe. It was oddly soothing. I let its sound guide my breaths, syncing them with its steady pattern. Slowly, the tension in my chest began to ease.

    ¡°You know,¡± I whispered, my voice barely audible, like I was speaking to the stars themselves, which winked at me through the holes of the crappy barn roof over me. Clarity had washed over me in that fleeting, half-dream state that only happens when you¡¯re teetering on the edge of unconsciousness. ¡°I fucking hate camping.¡±

    A faint smile tugged at my lips as the words slipped into the night, unnoticed by anyone except me. Then, finally, mercifully, I drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

    Interlude:

    The Gods notice when the universe shifts, even if it is merely the arrival of one new soul among the multitude.

    -The Book of Rakbus, God of Destiny

 Chapter Five: Oh, Iéˆ¥æª“ gonna say it one time: Alfie Thomason.

    Chapter Five: Oh, I¡¯m gonna say it one time: Alfie Thomason.

    ¡°Morning,¡± Gem whispered as I awoke. Beams of light showed through the cracks in the barn.

    She kissed me on the lips. Not what I was expecting. I guess the Mercenary Guild hadn¡¯t gotten the memo from HR about boundaries. I gasped and my stomach gave a little leap. Oh boy.

    I was overwhelmed by her scent as she leaned in over me. And yes, it was a little stale from being on the road, but it was also sweet and feminine, and there was a little of that animal musk that made me blink a little when I breathed it in.

    She had a little morning breath, unfortunately. I made a quick mental note to check my starter kit for a toothbrush.

    ¡°Good morning.¡± I smiled at her. I leaned up and stretched. My weird, tiny body popped and cracked as any would after waking. ¡°What time is it?¡± I said with a yawn.

    ¡°Don¡¯t know,¡± Gem sat up. ¡°Jinx did say you rifters were obsessed with time.¡±

    ¡°No clocks here?¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t use them. Not much point unless you have someplace to be.¡±

    She smiled and got up, equipping her leather armor and boots. I admired her figure in the form-fitting gear and especially enjoyed the view from behind. Her tail swayed lazily as she turned around.

    I found myself doing that with her and Kev. My new eyes did enjoy the look of a nice body.

    ¡°So, what are we doing today?¡±

    ¡°We are heading toward Wood Cut. It¡¯s the village a half a day into the woods.¡± She helped me to my feet. ¡°We¡¯re gonna get resupplied, pick up a couple of quests, and hopefully a bath.¡±

    ¡°Are we going to return that axe at some point?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Gem said. ¡°Any Guildhall will accept it and pay out the reward, but I don¡¯t think Wood Cut is big enough to have one.¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t we just keep it?¡±

    ¡°You saw what that thing¡¯s like,¡± Gem said. ¡°It¡¯s enormously powerful; a zero-level person like you managed to kill one and a half orcs with it without breaking a sweat. It¡¯s a family heirloom that a very rich dwarven family want back.¡±

    ¡°You know I would have killed that second orc without your help.¡±

    She winked at me. ¡°Well, we¡¯ll never know for sure, will we?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t suppose we could just ditch the reward and sell it?¡±

    ¡°Nobody would buy it. And it¡¯s way too hot to fence. Besides, none of us are rogues anyway.¡±

    ¡°Um, kind of am.¡±

    ¡°No shit?¡± she said, a look of surprise.

    ¡°Level one,¡± I said with what I hoped was a dashing grin. I equipped my own armor and boots; unlike the others, mine were dark brown, almost black. Better stealth, I guessed. I went on to equip my belt with Sick Stick.

    ¡°It seemed like a good class to start with. It plays to my strengths.¡±

    ¡°You have a null space?¡± Gem said, her eyes were wide.

    ¡°Yeah. You do too, right?¡±

    ¡°No, Most of us use devices.¡± Gem held up her hand, displaying a gold ring on her index finger. ¡°They¡¯re really expensive. Most of us have to save up for a couple of years before we can afford one. You¡¯re lucky. She rubbed her ring with her finger. ¡°And, of course, someone can steal it.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s a rifter thing, I guess. I got a couple of random bumps to get started; I got this and a starter kit.¡± I really wanted the pet monkey too. I almost added out loud.

    Outside, the fire had mostly burned down to embers, but it still threw off plenty of heat. Kev had a skillet perched on top, with the sizzle of meat filling the air. Nearby, five plates sat on a blanket, each loaded with eggs and a slice of bread. Kev, the picture of rugged orcness, was shirtless and barefoot, his skin catching the morning light in a way that was hard not to admire.

    Heather was by the cart, leaning on her staff with one hand and holding a small book open in the other. She didn¡¯t even glance up as we walked out, clearly locked in an epic battle of ignoring everyone within a ten-foot radius. I decided not to take it personally.

    Jinx, back in his trusty blue robe, grunted as he hauled bundles off the ground and loaded them into the cart. He looked like a magical pack mule, minus the enthusiasm.

    ¡°We want to add you to our party.¡± He gasped after dropping the last, pillow sized bag into the cart. ¡°That way we can share experience and rewards.¡±

    ¡°What exactly are we doing?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re all here to gain experience,¡± Gem said. ¡°We hit the outer villages in the county and pick up quests.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯s a three-week tour.¡± Jinx said. ¡°I gather up crews in Ironstone, then we ''ead out to nab some gold and XP.¡±

    ¡°We don¡¯t go for anything too far over our levels,¡± Kev said. ¡°Jinx has the expertise to help us find the right quests that are just challenging enough to help us gain without getting us killed.¡±

    ¡°For a cut,¡± Jinx said with a smile. ¡°Part of which I am now sacrificing to bring you on.¡±

    ¡°Thanks,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯ll be sure to pull my weight.¡±

    ¡°Well, you showed us you can ''andle yourself, even if ya don''t ''ave any experience. You moved on two orcs yesterday. One of which, ya didn''t need to. That says somethin''.¡±

    JINX HAS SENT YOU A PARTY INVITATION

    DO YOU ACCEPT?

    The words appeared in my vision, read to me by The Whisperer in her usual over the top enthusiasm. I was still trying to get used to having a different voice in my head.

    I mentally accepted the invitation. A small line appeared at the bottom left of my vision: Party. Each member was listed underneath, along with the word Chat.

    I mentally clicked on it and wondered. Can we chat with each other?

    Jinx: Yes we can, love.

    His voice echoed through my mind as the words appeared. And just like that, I was getting more voices echoing around inside my brain.

    Regan: What¡¯s the range on this?

    Jinx: A ¡®alf mile or so.

    I shrugged and smiled. Cool stuff. Hands free, voice free texting was the stuff of legends from back home.

    ¡°I¡¯m not healing her,¡± Heather called out to the group, bound and determined to kill the mood.

    ¡°The Hells you aren¡¯t!¡± Kev bellowed as we all turned towards her.

    She stood up straight, her staff at her side as she faced the orc. ¡°You contracted with the temple to heal three mercenaries on this trip. I¡¯m not healing a fourth.¡±

    ¡°We will pay the extra fee for the extra healing.¡±

    ¡°Sorry,¡± Heather said snobbishly, returning to her book like she forgot he was there. ¡°I¡¯m not authorized to negotiate on behalf of the temple or church.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re a piece.¡± Said Gem.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t want to come in the first place, and rifters are problematic in the eyes of the church.¡±

    ¡°Bullshite,¡± Jinx said. ¡°Amania don''t ''ave a problem with rifters or anybody else.¡±

    Heather held up her little book to the group. ¡°All of those born to this world will know the grace of Amania. The penitent person that loses their way will know it again.¡± She tilted her head to the side and smiled at them. ¡°Rifters aren¡¯t born of this world.¡± Her words were laced with loathing. She went back to reading her book, a smug look on her face. ¡°Not healing her.¡± She sang quietly.

    ¡°Nice.¡± I said. ¡°It¡¯s good to see some familiar shit from home here.¡±

    ¡°This isn¡¯t over,¡± Kev said. ¡°The church will hear about this.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± I said. ¡°These purity types are usually the ones who get knocked up in tenth grade by some asshole that looks just like their daddy.¡±

    ¡°You can fuckin¡¯ walk then,¡± Jinx growled, shoving the last bag into the cart with a scowl.

    The meat was ready after a couple of moments, and Kev dished the plates. He and Gem handed them around. Heather took hers without looking up or acknowledging.

    The meat was salty and tender, I mixed it with egg yolk and ate heartily. Then, I sopped the remaining juices with the bread and was soon full again. I pulled a cask of water from my inventory to rinse it down. Yuk! It tasted like a shoe. The others finished breakfast quickly and quietly since things were tense thanks to the Priestess of Purity.

    Kev took the dishes, and they disappeared into his storage. Everyone started moving to gather up what was left, and Jinx cast a spell that quashed what was left of the fire.

    ¡°It¡¯s too bad,¡± Kev said, pulling the barn door open. ¡°This looked like a nice place.¡± He gazed at the field beyond.

    ¡°Apart from the orcs,¡± I said.

    ¡°Prairie Orcs don¡¯t build huts and barns. They don¡¯t keep animals.¡±

    The realization hit me. ¡°Oh...Oh shit.¡±

    He looked down at me and smiled. ¡°And before you ask, yes, I really am an orc. I¡¯m from Uston, It¡¯s way north of here. I¡¯m the youngest son of a shipbuilder. Rather than go into the family business, I was given my inheritance and sent off to make my way.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re okay with that.?¡±

    ¡°I have two older brothers. They can fight over the business if they want.¡± He looked out, over the field and sighed. ¡°I just wanted to see the world. I worked my way down to Ironstone, and met up with Jinx at the Guild, and here we are.¡±

    ¡°See much of it yet?¡±

    ¡°Some,¡± he smiled at me. ¡°Enough to want more.¡±

    The party climbed into the wagon after Jinx hitched it to the horses. In the back, the sacks he tossed in, and a pile of straw, made it dusty, but comfortable. The wagon had once been painted white, though most of that had long since chipped away. Kev took the reins, with Gem seated beside him on the bench. I hopped in next to Jinx, settling in. Heather walked behind, using her staff as a walking stick, and I noticed for the first time that she was barefoot.

    ¡°She¡¯s really going to walk then?¡± I asked Jinx after we started rolling toward the road.

    ¡°She sures as ''ell is,¡± Jinx said. ¡°It¡¯s not in the bleedin'' contract that we provide transportation, only that we feed and protect ''er. She¡¯s not about to throw a fuss about it since she¡¯s bein'' a right cunt about it.¡±

    We reached the road and turned left, away from the direction I was running in during my escape the day before.

    ¡°Tell me about the tour then.¡±

    ¡°We left Ironstone a week ago,¡± Jinx said, pulling a map out and unrolling it in front of me.

    MAP ADDED:

    GRAY ANVIL COUNTY

    The notification appeared as I looked at the map, and the tiny map in the corner of my vision instantly updated with the information. Very fucking cool.

    ¡°We took the Imperial Highway southeast.¡± He pointed at the winding road south of the marked city. ¡°Here''s Gray Anvil Keep, where we picked up the quest for the axe. That was a day¡¯s travel, since then, we¡¯ve been followin'' the highway, stoppin'' by each ¡®o the villages to look for quests or bounties.¡± He pointed at a part of the map, about halfway down. ¡°Here¡¯s where we are now, outside Wood Cut about ''alf a day or so. We¡¯ll look for some work there, and then start ''eadin'' west at the crossroads.¡±

    ¡°Imperial Highway?¡±

    ¡°We are in the Rawen Kingdom.¡± Jinx said ¡°It¡¯s a Dwarf kingdom, that¡¯s why it ''as all these bleedin'' weird names. Dwarfs like makin'' stuff, so all the names sound like craftin'' materials or tools.¡± He gestured at the road as we turned onto it. ¡°This ''ere''s one of the highways built by The Sovell Empire.¡±

    ¡°How big is the Sovell Empire?¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re in what would be Europe back on Earth, love.¡± Jinx Said. ¡°The Sovell Empire, it runs from Poland down to Albania or so. We''re somewhere in Western Hungary. It''s proper sizable, got about twenty kingdoms and nations.¡±

    ¡°So, what level are you?¡±

    ¡°Hmm,¡± Jinx said. ¡°I''m level twenty, right? My Mage class, that''s level ten. Got a Fire Wizard Job sitting at level six, and a Lightning Wizard job at level nine. Plus, I got an Alchemy Job.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m a rogue, level one.¡±

    Jinx chuckled. ¡°You won''t be able to join the Mercenary Guild as a rogue, love. But that''s alright. When we get to Ironstone, I''ll steer you over to my mate. ''E''ll help you train up proper.¡±

    ¡°Why don¡¯t they allow rogues?¡±

    ¡°Most of the work the Guild does is straight forward,¡± He rolled up the map and put it away. ¡°They¡¯re also a bit old fashioned, and don¡¯t go for the tactics that rogues use to get the job done.¡±

    ¡°I hope I didn¡¯t pick wrong.¡±

    ¡°You didn''t. We bring loads of rogues on quests; they just can''t get one from the Guild is all. The Union¡¯ll be givin'' you jobs, and that''s who we turn to add a one to our crew.¡±

    ¡°The Union?¡±

    ¡°Tha¡¯s wat they call ¡®emselves.¡±

    As we rode on, Jinx talked about London in the nineties, and growing up in a rough neighborhood. He had an absentee father and alcoholic mother and was a school dropout before being pulled away at the age of nineteen. Now, he was a something called a Moon Elf.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± he said mournfully, running his hand over his bald head. ¡°Used to play in a grunge band, back in the day. Had the most amazin¡¯ mane o¡¯ ¡¯air, I did. But still, since I came here,¡± his mood picked up instantly. ¡°I''ve made a bleedin'' good life for meself, love. I put together crews and go out explorin'' the countryside, earnin'' a pile o¡¯ gold in the process. Got a place in Ironstone, but I''ll eventually move south, by the shore, and find a quiet village to settle down.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not really coming from someplace, bad, or interesting.¡± I said. ¡°Twenty-six years in, and zero sum.¡±

    ¡°Watcha mean?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m gone from Earth, and about all I left behind was a pile of laundry.¡±

    ¡°Copy tha¡¯.¡± Jinx said bitterly. ¡°I came this way thinkin'' I was bleedin'' dead, like I was struck by lightning or somethin''. But I didn''t start livin'' till I came to Nya.¡±

    ¡°It does feel like something like an afterlife.¡±

    ¡°Somthin¡¯ like that.¡± Jinx¡¯s face turned a little dark. ¡°Nya¡¯s ain¡¯t no paradise though.¡±

    ¡°I suppose not, neither was Earth.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but all the bleedin'' crazy make-believe shite that you made up on Earth, ''ere it''s real. There''re monsters, demons, devils, and all kinds of nasties.¡± He looked at me, with intensity in his eyes. ¡°There''s all the war and genocide and all the rotten stuff Earth ''as too.¡±

    ¡°So why is this place so great?¡±

    ¡°Because unlike Earth, ''ere, people like you and me can rise. Little Regan Moon, the ''alf elf Rogue from Denver, and Jinx the Moon Elf Wizard from Hackney. No one¡¯s gonna tell us what we can ¡®r can¡¯t do.¡± He gestured around us. ¡°Every person ''ere ''as the potential for greatness. Most people born ''ere don''t understand, but those of us who got pulled into this world get it.¡±

    ¡°I thought you wanted to settle down, someplace quiet by the sea.¡±

    ¡°Someday, love.¡± Jinx said, looking at the road in front of us. ¡°I ''ave a lot more places to see first.¡±

    The Imperial Highway shifted from rocky hills to the dense forest I¡¯d thought about escaping into just the day before. By mid-afternoon, the banners of Wood Cut finally came into view. The wagon rattled its way over the White River via a rickety covered bridge that sounded one splinter away from disaster, before rolling to a stop in front of the gates.

    Wood Cut was surrounded by a solid wooden wall, twelve to fifteen feet high and all business. The guardhouse outside was packed with dwarven men¡ªstout, hairy, and built like walls themselves. They wore heavy plate armor, carried spears, and stern looks. Beneath their helmets and thick beards, their faces were broad and surprisingly expressive, as if someone had hit the ¡°amplify emotions¡± button.

    I realized they were about my height. give or take, but twice as wide, all muscle and raw physicality. And that¡¯s when I felt¡­ something. Their rugged strength, the thick arms, the unshakeable presence it was, well, appealing. Which was confusing. I wasn¡¯t used to finding hairy, boulder-shaped dudes attractive. Yet, there was something about the way they carried themselves, all solid and grounded, that gently tugged down there. Like it was wanting to say something.

    I wasn¡¯t entirely sure how to voice it in my head. Was it admiration? Attraction? Intrigue? My thoughts kept swirling in awkward circles, unable to land on an answer. All I knew was that the sight of these dwarves stirred something in me I couldn¡¯t quite pin down. That¡¯s new. I thought.

    ¡°Oy there,¡± one of them said. ¡°State yer business at Wood Cut, or be on yer way!¡± It was an accent that was maybe sort of Scottish. Not really sure, since I wasn¡¯t much of an expert, but it was fun to listen to.

    ¡°Guild Mercenaries looking for trade, quests, and accommodations,¡± said Kev.

    ¡°There''s no Guildhall here, mercenary. There is a board though in the inn if ye are lookin'' for work, so I reckon you''ll find some of wha¡¯ ya need at the Iron Hammer. If you want tradin¡¯, mind Kettlebottom¡¯s he¡¯ll rob ya blind. I¡¯d go down ta Graybrow¡¯s. Hetmat Graybrow, e¡¯ll treat ya fair.¡±

    ¡°Iron Hammer it is then,¡± said Kev. He ushered the horses on with the click and snap of the reins. The guards stepped aside and waved him through. Heather the priestess followed the wagon with a sour look on her face. At least it seemed like a sour look. I wasn¡¯t sure at this point or not if she didn¡¯t look that way all the time.

    Just inside the wooden walls of the town, the local stable was set up, with hands ready to take the reins from any visitor. A younger male dwarf, a teenager probably. Helped Gem the front bench as the party got out of the wagon. Another ran up and started unhitching the horses.

    ¡°Steady on,¡± Jinx said. Tossing what looked like a silver coin to the second teenager. ¡°Feed ¡®m and make sure our gear is looked after.¡±

    ¡°Aye,¡± the teenager said, catching the coin. ¡°Will you be needing them the rest of the day?¡±

    ¡°¡¯haps not.¡± Jinx said. ¡°Point us to the Iron ¡®ammer.¡±

    ¡°Up the stree¡¯¡± the teen said. ¡°ta the left.¡±

    The party fell in line, Jinx and Kev leading the way, then Gem and myself, followed by Heather. The town was neat and tidy. Tall houses made of wood and steep shingle roofs with shutters lined the gravel street as we made our way up. Once we were past the gate and guards, I saw that the town was made up of more than dwarves. Elves were here, along with humans and other smaller races. I was dealing with a huge knowledge gap as to who was who.

    It reminded me of an old German town with pretty trim and fancy bits around the windows and eaves. In the distance, beyond the streets was a large mill, smoke rising from a chimney about three stories high.

    ¡°Let me guess,¡± I said to Gem with a nod ahead. ¡°Sawmill?¡±

    ¡°The town is called Wood Cut.¡± Gem replied softly. ¡°And they¡¯re dwarves, so yeah.¡±

    ¡°Not to creative with the names, are they?¡±

    Gem giggled quietly. ¡°Dwarves are some of the most industrious people in the Empire. But they don¡¯t waste much energy naming things.¡±

    The dimensions of the town were disorienting. The buildings were proportional to what I was used to, but as I got closer, I realized the doors and windows were lower, not by too much. The Dwarves were just a hair shorter than I was on average, but since they were the architects of the town, it was built to fit the comfort of its primary inhabitants, which suited me just fine. But if he wasn¡¯t careful, Kev would be getting headaches.

    ¡°Here,¡± Gem said, pressing a small pouch into my hand.

    ¡°I don¡¯t need any money.¡± I tried handing it back. I was already feeling somewhat indebted at this point, and didn¡¯t like the idea of money getting involved.

    ¡°It¡¯s about two GP worth of silver and copper. Use it to buy cheap stuff.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± I hooked it on my belt. ¡°All I have is gold. I¡¯ll pay you back later.¡±

    We reached the Iron Hammer. The sign was, of course, literally a large iron hammer hanging over the door. Heather found a bench out front and sat down with her book. The rest of the party filed in, but I held back.

    It was a busy street, but many of the passersby took notice of the priestess.

    ¡°Hey,¡± I said to Heather.

    ¡°What do you want?¡± She said, not looking up.

    ¡°Nothing, really. I just wanted to see if you¡¯re all right.¡±

    ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t I be?¡±

    ¡°Because you just walked half a day behind stinky horses and breathing in road dust. Come inside and have a drink.¡±

    ¡°If I wanted a drink, I would get one.¡±

    ¡°Bless your heart,¡± I said with a bitter smile and entered the Inn.

    The Iron Hammer was everything I imagined a fantasy world inn would be. The dining room was dominated by four long communal tables in the center, flanked by smaller, party-sized tables scattered around the edges. Along the far wall stretched a long bar, with a doorway disappearing off to the left. Three tenders manned the bar while several dwarven waitresses, or were they called wenches here? bustled between tables, expertly navigating the midday crowd. The room looked to be around eighty percent capacity. At least, that was my best guess.

    What hit me hardest, though, was the smell. It was a chaotic blend of stale beer, vinegar, cooking meat, and smoky firewood, all blended into an almost overwhelming aroma. A haze of smoke was up in the rafters, fed by the patrons'' pipes. Spherical lanterns dangled from the cross beams on thin chains, casting the room in a soft golden light.

    ¡°Grab us a table.¡± Jinx said. He marched through the room towards the bar. The rest of us shuffled along the outskirts of the room before finding an empty table along the right-hand wall. I sat beside Gem while Kev claimed a seat facing the door.

    The crowd was a mix of the same three races I saw outside, grouped in clusters or sitting alone. On the wall adjacent to the bar hung an enormous bulletin board, easily ten feet long, covered in paper notices.

    As I sat, my phone instinctively slipped from storage into my right hand, hidden under the table. It took me a second to realize how pointless it was. Back home, my phone had been an extension of me, always within reach, always in use. I slept with it next to my bed, took it into the bathroom, and pulled it out automatically every time I sat down. But here? There was no one to text or call. TikTok was not around, nor was Instagram or anything else I used to keep my mind occupied. It was nothing more than a dead weight. An artifact.

    I sighed, thinking back to the wagon ride earlier. I¡¯d spent hours chatting with an elf from London, staring at the lazy sway of trees as the horses pulled us along. I¡¯d felt the sun and shade shift across my skin, heard the wheels crunching against the dirt road, the rhythmic clopping of hooves. And not once had I thought to pull out my phone.

    Back on Earth, everything was a blur of digital distractions. Phones connected us, sure, but they also built walls, isolating us in the middle of crowded rooms. They were like blinders, blocking the real world out while we stared at tiny screens. I sighed again, slipping the phone back into my inventory. I didn¡¯t need it anymore.

    My face burned as I glanced around. Nobody saw me with the strange device in my hand. I didn¡¯t think it would be a good thing to try to explain to a room of otherworldly people.

    ¡°I¡¯m not used to the pace here.¡± I said to no one in particular.

    Gem raised her eyebrows at me. ¡°What do you mean?¡±If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

    ¡°Back home, we just rush everywhere. I was going on a six-hundred-mile trip, and it would have only taken me ninety minutes or so.¡±

    ¡°Wow. It must be nice.¡±

    ¡°Depends,¡± I sighed. ¡°If you actually want to go to the place you''re headed.¡±

    ¡°I suppose.¡±

    ¡°How safe is it to travel around here? I mean, the orcs were pretty terrifying, but we haven¡¯t seen anything since then.¡±

    ¡°The highway is a safe place to journey,¡± Kev said. ¡°The legion regularly patrols it, and the Mercenary Guild helps keep the monsters back.¡±

    ¡°You get off the Imperial Highway however,¡± Gem started. ¡°It can get pretty dangerous. There¡¯s bandits and raiders, and the wildlife can be a problem.¡±

    ¡°Good to know.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re sticking to the highway.¡± Kev said. ¡°We don¡¯t have a strong enough party to rough it.¡±

    ¡°Good day, dearies,¡± the waitress said as she approached our table, her voice warm and lilting. ¡°Will ye be havin'' drinks and lunch today?¡±

    I froze for a second, caught completely off guard. I¡¯d never seen a dwarven woman before, and she was¡­ something else. Like the men, she was stout, sure, but where they were all broad muscle and bristling beards, she was¡­ buxom. Very buxom. She wore a low-cut cotton dress with a red corset that cinched her waist and, uh, emphasized her cleavage in a way that was both impossible to miss and frankly a delight to admire. Her curly brown hair was pulled back under a red kerchief, framing her large, soft features that somehow managed to be both maternal and ridiculously sexy.

    I had a serious problem looking away. My brain felt like it had been thrown into a blender. This wasn¡¯t my type, right? Definitely not my type. And yet¡­ something about her confidence, her curves, the earthy strength she radiated¡­Oh yeah, it was doing things to me. Confusing things. I mean, was I... kind of getting turned on by dwarves? Apparently, I was. This is a thing. I thought, as I tore my gaze away from her body.

    ¡°Absolutely.¡± Said Kev, his voice rising over the noise of the crowded room. It pushed me out of my twisty train of thought. The world, it seems, just keeps racing on, even as my stupid little brain keeps pumping the brakes.

    He dropped a small handful of copper coins on the table. ¡°What¡¯s for lunch?¡±

    ¡°Goat stew with potatoes and leeks.¡± She said swiping up the coins. ¡°Wine, mead or ale?¡±

    ¡°Ale for me,¡± Kev said. ¡°And also, for our friend.¡± He pointed up a Jinx.

    ¡°Mead for us,¡± Gem said, pointing at me. I was about to protest, craving a big glass of wine.

    ¡°¡¯K dearies,¡± the waitress said with a smile and moved on to the next table.

    ¡°Don¡¯t ever order wine at one of these small village places,¡± Gem whispered. ¡°Piss tastes better.¡±

    ¡°Hey,¡± I whispered to her, watching the hypnotic back end of the waitress as she walked away. ¡°Do they call them waitresses or wenches here?¡±

    ¡°People that serve the tables are called wenches if they¡¯re girls,¡± she whispered back, her eyes now on the spot I was watching. ¡°or swains for boys.¡±

    ¡°Wenches and swains. Got it.¡±

    ¡°Oy there,¡± Jinx said. He arrived at the table right after the bowls of stew, a platter of bread, and drinks. He was gripping a couple of pieces of parchment. ¡°Not much on the boards ''ere, mates, but I got a couple of promisin'' lookin'' quests that we can take.¡±

    ¡°What do you have?¡± Kev asked, sipping his ale. The drinks were in pint-sized wooden mugs, and the stew was in matching wooden bowls.

    ¡°We ''ave a cluster of chagkraaws that are bitin'' into the local farmer¡¯s crop to the west. Not much in the way of gold, but it''ll ''elp with some monster experience, ya know.¡± He dropped the parchment piece down. ¡°It¡¯s Guild sponsored, so we''ll get an instant payout too, mates.¡± He held up the other one. ¡°This next one is a bit trickier. We need to ''ead over to Longhorn Castle. The notice says quest is comin'' from Duke Yarnaen Longhorn ''imself. I¡¯m sure it¡¯s a bounty, so the pay should be good.¡±

    ¡°We were going to stay in the county,¡± Gem said. ¡°What¡¯s the difficulty?¡±

    ¡°Don¡¯t say,¡± Jinx said. ¡°But we¡¯re four strong now. So, I reckon we can see what ''e ''as to offer and decide if we can risk it.¡±

    ¡°I like it,¡± Gem said.

    ¡°I¡¯m in,¡± said Kev.

    The group turned to me. I had a bite of goat meat in my mouth, and I was chewing on it. ¡°What?¡± It was not ladylike, to say the least.

    ¡°You in or out, love?¡± Jinx said. ¡°You¡¯re in the party now, you got a say.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± I said. I chewed aggressively and swallowed it a little too fast, leading to even more undignified hacking as I swallowed a mouthful of ale to rinse it down. ¡°I have no idea what a chagkraaw is, or who Duke Yarnaen Longhorn is, so I¡¯m gonna have to defer to the rest of you on these.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯ll do,¡± Jinx said. He pulled a ring from his storage and pressed it to each parchment paper on the table. And they glowed in turn.

    The Whisperer read the summary to me:

    PARTY QUEST

    CHAGKRAAW HUNT

    Chagkraaws are venturing into the fields of Grey Anvil and eating the crops. Eliminate the creatures and their brood mother to rid the farmers of the pestilence.

    REWARD:

    500GP, VARIOUS XP

    PARTY QUEST

    YARNAEN LONGHORN MISSION

    Journey to Castle Longhorn and speak to its master to earn a quest.

    REWARD:

    NEW QUEST

    ¡°So. The Longhorn quest is not a Guild quest?¡±

    ¡°No, Love,¡± Jinx said, sitting down.

    ¡°He probably wants to keep the details of the quest private.¡± Said Gem.

    ¡°So, the Guild¡¯s a public entity then?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s private. But quests are publicly posted and must be sanctioned by the local government, so it¡¯s all public knowledge.¡±

    ¡°Is taking a private quest like this a great idea?¡±

    ¡°Like I said, love,¡± Jinx sipped his ale. ¡°The pay¡¯s good, and secrets always come at a premium price.¡±

    ¡°As long as the secret isn¡¯t worth more than four mercenaries,¡± I said gloomily. The whole thing seemed a bit suspicious to me. But being new to Murder World, I had to trust the group. None of them seemed concerned.

    ¡°Whoa,¡± Kev said. ¡°You sure you just arrived from another world? You sound like you¡¯ve been at this game for a long time.¡± He chuckled and started in on his soup.

    ¡°Strike out tomorrow morning, then?¡± Jinx asked, holding up his mug.

    ¡°Aye,¡± Kev and Gem said, clacking their mugs to his.

    ¡°Aye,¡± I echoed, joining them. We all took a sip and resumed lunch. Chatting quietly for the next hour or so.

    After lunch, we each handed Jinx two SP to pay for rooms. I left the inn with Gem and Kev. Heather was still sitting on her bench when we emerged. She had somehow gotten her hands on a cup of ale and an apple. The remains of which were on the bench next to her.

    ¡°We¡¯re going to the shops for some supplies,¡± I said. ¡°You want to join us?¡±

    ¡°I have everything I need,¡± she said. ¡°The church supplies it.¡±

    ¡°Well,¡± I said, smiling. ¡°I thought you might like some company.¡±

    ¡°I definitely don¡¯t need any of that.¡±

    ¡°Why even bother with her?¡± Gem asked as we headed up the street.

    ¡°Part of its entertainment value,¡± I smiled back at the priestess. ¡°It¡¯s also not the kind of energy I want to be matching, so yeah.¡±

    Kettlebottom¡¯s was only two doors down from the inn. I paused by the door. The others took two more steps before they realized I had stopped.

    ¡°You¡¯re going in there?¡± asked Kev. ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°The guard.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Gem said. ¡°He said Kettlebottom¡¯s would rob us blind.¡±

    ¡°And you believe some random asshole? Graybrow¡¯s probably pays him a commission. He¡¯ll first ask how you found out about his shop.¡± I stepped up to them, smiling, my hand out to shake. ¡°I¡¯ll put a silver on it.¡±

    The door to Kettlebottom¡¯s closed behind me with a soft chime from the bell overhead. The shop was larger than I expected, about fifteen feet across and twelve deep, and packed with all the essentials of a fantasy world, or so I assumed. Sealed crates and barrels were stacked neatly along the walls, along with saddles, sacks of grain, bolts of fabric, and other odds and ends I couldn¡¯t begin to identify.

    The sales counter stretched across three-quarters of the back wall, with a closed door behind it. Shelves above and beside the counter were crammed with smaller items: pots, pans, ropes, lanterns, torches, and weapons in all shapes and sizes. Rows of tiny, bottled potions, each about the size of a tube of lipstick, lined the shelves like a miniature apothecary. The outside noise was muffled here, leaving the room comfortably quiet.

    ¡°Good afternoon,¡± came a crisp voice from behind the counter. The speaker was a tiny man standing in front of an open book. He was bald, with a silver beard but no mustache, and he wore a green tunic with a broad yellow collar that draped over his shoulders. The tunic was embroidered with bright, curly patterns that danced across his chest.

    I¡¯d seen others like him outside; he was about the size of a ten-year-old but taller than the rest of his kind. Not that I had any room to judge; at my height, I wasn¡¯t exactly towering over anyone. His voice was high-pitched and clipped, probably thanks to his skinny, sharp nose, which gave him a perpetually inquisitive look. Perched at the end of that nose was a pair of half-moon spectacles, completing the picture of a fantasy world shopkeeper who probably knew exactly what you needed before you even walked through the door.

    ¡°I¡¯ll be happy to answer any questions you have?¡±

    ¡°Mr. Kettlebottom, I presume?¡± I asked as I walked up to the counter.

    ¡°Not to a debt or tax collector.¡± He said with a kind smile. He slipped a leather bookmark in the pages and flipped the book shut. Upon reaching the counter, I realized a raised platform was behind it that elevated him above my eye level. ¡°But to a beautiful girl such as yourself, guilty as charged.¡±

    ¡°The village guard didn¡¯t recommend your shop very highly.¡±

    ¡°If I flipped him more coppers than my friend Hetmat does, he would be singing my praises just as much,¡± Kettlebottom said dryly. ¡°But it doesn¡¯t take long for wise people to see my shop has the best selection and deals in Wood Cut.¡±

    ¡°I was wondering,¡± I asked, ¡°Where are you from?¡±

    ¡°Monjist,¡± Kettlebottom replied.

    ¡°Where¡¯s that?¡±

    ¡°You sure you¡¯re not a tax collector?¡± he said with a chuckle.

    ¡°No,¡± I raised my shoulder and smiled at him. ¡°It¡¯s just that I¡¯m pretty new here.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s obvious. Monjist is across the Tirus Sea. I immigrated to the Empire fifty years ago and settled here twenty-three years ago.¡±

    ¡°Is it nice here?¡±

    ¡°Yes,¡± Kettlebottom replied with a smile. ¡°Dwarves aren¡¯t like many of the other enlightened races. Begging your pardon, but Elves, Humans, and even my own kind often look down their noses at others. Dwarves don¡¯t. Oh, they can be greedy, grumpy, and just as dishonest as anyone else when it suits them, but they judge folk by what they do, not by what they are. So, I¡¯ve found a nice home here.¡±

    ¡°And you¡¯re a?¡±

    ¡°Gnome. Monjist is a Gnomish kingdom, but it¡¯s very troubled. I prefer a quiet life where I can read my books and sell my wares.¡±

    ¡°Sounds nice.¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t pry too much,¡± said Kettlebottom. ¡°But I wager a copper you¡¯re a rifter.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯d be a copper richer.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re lucky you landed where you did. Like I said, dwarves are very accepting, and so is the Empire for the most part, but your kind aren¡¯t welcome everywhere.¡±

    ¡°I already got an earful from someone.¡±

    ¡°It doesn¡¯t take a genius to figure it out, but try to keep that information to yourself when traveling, even around here. The local Imperial Magistrate will need to get you registered, but the information is kept confidential. As time goes by, you¡¯ll be a little less green and will blend in better.¡±

    ¡°Um, I have to register? With the Empire?¡±

    ¡°Of course you do,¡± he said. ¡°If you want to travel and work, you must have residency established. The Empire is civil enough to allow that.¡±

    ¡°I hadn¡¯t really thought about that. Thanks for the advice.¡±

    ¡°Advice is free; my wares are not.¡± He straightened up. ¡°Are you here to buy or sell?¡±

    ¡°Bit of both.¡±

    I pulled out the dagger I received in the starter kit and set it on the counter. ¡°I have a bunch of iron-tipped arrows; I wanted to get some other kinds that might be a bit better.¡±

    ¡°Hmm,¡± Kettlebottm picked up the dagger and inspected it. ¡°It¡¯s nothing remarkable, but it¡¯s good quality and looks brand new. You don¡¯t see many newly forged small arms around here, even in a dwarven village.¡±

    He paused for a moment to think. ¡°I have a dozen steel arrows and a dozen obsidian arrows. Obsidian is more effective against magical creatures and items if that is what you are after.¡±

    He placed the dagger down on the counter. ¡°I would pay four SP for the dagger, steel arrows are three SP a dozen, and the obsidians are six SP per dozen.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll trade you the dagger plus four SP for them,¡± I said firmly, puffing up my chest.

    ¡°Sounds acceptable.¡± Kettlebottom produced two bundles of arrows and set them on the counter. ¡°Is there anything else you would like?¡±

    I tucked all my new items into storage, taking a moment to organize my inventory. The arrows went in first, followed by three potions of minor healing and one major healing potion, one hundred, twenty GP well spent. Given that I couldn¡¯t count on Heather to patch me up if I got hurt, extra healing supplies felt like a necessity.

    I also splurged on an enchanted ring that added plus one to Strength. When I mentioned having a personal null space, the gnome strongly suggested an enchanted decoy ring to thwart would-be thieves.

    ¡°If you find yourself at the mercy of criminals, it would be best to make them believe you have your items in a storage device. Best to lose the ring then have them extract your belongings through more¡­brutal means.¡±

    I shuddered at his advice but took it.

    ¡°Storage items have protections,¡± he explained, ¡°Most ruffians on the road won¡¯t have a ritualist on hand to crack them and likely won¡¯t know what kind of ring it is.¡±

    The last extravagant purchase was a mage lamp. Unlike my lantern, I could use a control rod, basically a metallic magic wand, to channel EP into the thing, and the stone would glow like a lightbulb. He suggested it because even with elven vision, I would be blind in total darkness.

    I managed to negotiate him down by 20 GP on the deal, promising to send new customers his way. Not bad for a shopping trip.

    The Whisperer was right on it.

    NEW QUEST

    CUSTOMER REFERRAL

    You have been given a quest from Kettlebottom to bring in new customers.

    Rewards:

    <ol>

    <li>15 XP</li>

    <li>Good Customer Discount at Kettlebottom¡¯s. The more customers, the higher the discount.</li>

    </ol>

    ACCEPT QUEST?

    The bell rang just as I accepted the quest and turned from the counter. Kev and Gem walked in. Both looked annoyed. I paused, turned, and faced Kettlebottom, giving him a slight bow and a wink.

    QUEST COMPLETE

    CUSTOMER REFERRAL

    You have brought new customers into Kettlebottom¡¯s

    Rewards:

    <ol>

    <li>15 XP</li>

    <li>Good Customer Discount at Kettlebottom¡¯s.</li>

    </ol>

    ¡°As good as my word.¡±

    He returned the smile and nodded before straightening up behind the counter, ready for his two new customers.

    I skipped over to Gem and Kev, holding out my hand. ¡°Silver,¡± I sang sweetly to them.

    I returned to the Iron Hammer, finding Jinx at the bar, chatting with another traveler. He was arguing with the guy about politics or crime. I wasn¡¯t up on stuff happening on Earth, much less around here. It finally ended when I tapped him lightly on the shoulder. His face was red from a bit too much ale.

    I filled him in on what Kettlebottom had told me, and the barkeeper confirmed it before spitting on the floor. Not a fan of the local magistrate, I guessed.

    Jinx grumpily agreed to go to the village hall with me to meet with him. He then bombarded me with advice, criticisms of the empire, and authority in general. I think he might have thrown in something about the commercialization of Rock and Roll music.

    ¡°Alcohol definitely greases the vocal cords,¡± I said quietly.

    ¡°Wa was that?¡± he barked, verbally stumbling out of his rant.

    ¡°Nothing.¡±

    ¡°Imperial fucking Magistrate.¡± He mumbled as we walked toward the center of Wood Cut. ¡°I ''ad no idea they were gonna make ya register. I landed in the south, so I crossed over the border after already gettin'' established.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s no big deal,¡± I said, skipping to keep up with his pace. My little legs were not used to working so hard to walk as fast as the average dude.

    ¡°Maybe it ain¡¯t. Maybe it is.¡± He skidded to a stop when we reached the central square in front of the building. ¡°Do what I told ya earlier. Play it close to the vest. Don¡¯t tell ''em anythin'' ya don¡¯t ''ave to, and don¡¯t tell ''em you ''ave anythin'' from Earth on ya.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Cuz that shite¡¯s bloody valuable, is why.¡± He whispered to me.

    The village hall was an imposing two-story structure, easily the grandest building in town. The first story was tall and wide, with intricately carved wooden columns supporting a porch that stretched the entire length of the front. An extended entryway jutted out, large enough to shelter a wagon beneath it.

    The second story was octagonal, about half the width of the first, with large windows lining each of its eight walls. Above it, a sharply pitched roof gleamed with copper sheets, weathered to a rich green patina. The whole thing gave off an air of importance, standing in stark contrast to the more modest buildings around it.

    A dwarven guard stood watch by the main door, hand resting casually on the hilt of his sword. He was clad in the same heavy armor as the gate guards, his stern expression suggesting he wasn¡¯t there to give directions.

    ¡°State yer business.¡± He said flatly, not even bothering to make eye contact.

    Jinx sighed. ¡°Imperial business wiv the Magistrate.¡±

    ¡°Do you have an appointment?¡±

    ¡°Imperial business,¡± Jinx repeated. ¡°Not yer business.¡±

    The guard lazily swung his gaze up at Jinx. ¡°Far be it from me to interfere in Imperial affairs.¡± He grumbled and gestured for us to enter.

    Surprisingly, Jinx and I were the only ones in the lobby. The building was stunning, crafted from native wood with intricate floral patterns inlaid along the walls and floors. Every surface gleamed, polished to such a high shine that I was relieved I wasn¡¯t wearing a dress. I hadn¡¯t even realized wood could look like that.

    A brass directory stood nearby, pointing to the left toward the office of the Imperial Magistrate. We followed the vast hall until it ended at a large, imposing door.

    Two human guards flanked it, looking just as relaxed, borderline lazy, as the one stationed outside, just a lot less grumpy. Their armor was different, however. Instead of heavy plates, they wore scaled armor with overlapping pieces that extended into a plated skirt reaching their knees. Their swords, while similar in design, were made of a different polished metal that gleamed faintly in the light. Both men had short, cropped hair, one a fiery red, the other a deep chestnut brown. Their expressions? Somewhere between ¡°bored¡± and ¡°dare me to stop you.¡±

    ¡°Magistrate,¡± Jinx said, nodding at the door. Not a question. The closer man looked us both over and nodded.

    The building''s opulence ended inside the Magistrate''s office. Gone were the polished wood and intricate carvings. Instead, dark-paneled walls loomed, lit by scattered lamps that gave the space a dim, almost brooding atmosphere. Four humans, one man, and three women, sat at desks around an elevated central one, working quietly.

    The man at the center desk looked up as we entered, his bored expression flickering with faint interest. He wore silken robes and wore a golden eagle pin over his heart. An untouched steaming cup of tea sat on his desk.

    Middle-aged, with collar-length brown hair streaked liberally with gray, he had sharp gray eyes that suggested he wasn¡¯t as indifferent as his posture let on. Judging by the paperwork strewn across his desk, he seemed more than ready for a distraction.

    ¡°Good day,¡± he said pleasantly, his voice warm and cultured, like a British schoolteacher straight out of a movie.

    ¡°This is Regan Moon,¡± Jinx said, gesturing toward me. ¡°Newly arrived rifter.¡±

    The Man¡¯s eyes lit up with genuine curiosity. ¡°A rifter, really?¡± he said, sitting up straighter. ¡°That¡¯s the most interesting thing that¡¯s happened here in quite a while.¡±

    ¡°Yup,¡± I said with a smile, trying to match his enthusiasm. ¡°Just popped in yesterday.¡±

    ¡°Remarkable.¡± He stood halfway, leaning over the desk to offer his hand. ¡°Magistrate Gnaeus Vibennis.¡±

    I shook his hand gingerly. ¡°Um, Hi, I¡¯m Regan¡±

    ¡°Let me be the first to welcome you to the Sovell Empire,¡± he said, releasing my hand and settling back into his chair. He seemed genuinely polite, though I couldn¡¯t tell if he was being sincere or just putting on a show out of sheer boredom. I figured it was probably the latter. It is a small village with not much to do.

    ¡°Empress Claudia Fidelis welcomes all who enter her realm from other worlds,¡± he continued, sounding like he was reading off a script. ¡°She understands you didn¡¯t come here by choice and that you only wish to make a life for yourself.¡± His tone was smooth but practiced, and it was definitely a rehearsed spiel. ¡°With a citizen sponsor, you¡¯ll be granted full legal protections as a resident of the Empire, along with an opportunity to gain citizenship, should you desire it.¡±

    It all sounded a little too polished, but hey, at least he was making an effort.

    ¡°She ¡®as a sponsor,¡± Jinx said. He pulled a large gold coin from his storage and placed it on the table. It was larger and thicker than a standard gold coin, about the size of a half dollar, but twice as thick.

    ¡°Excellent,¡± Vibennis said. He lifted the coin and examined it. ¡°Let¡¯s see,¡± he squinted at the coin. ¡°This is the token for Alfie Thomason.¡±

    Jinx spun around, facing me. He poked his finger up, trembling slightly. A slight crackle of energy danced around his fingernail. ¡°Not a bleedin¡¯ word,¡± he growled, glaring at me. I already had my mouth open, but his tone made me hesitate¡ªjust barely.

    ¡°It¡¯s Jinx,¡± he said, voice low and firm like he dared me to test him. ¡°¡¯As been since I got ¡¯ere, understand?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I said, smiling sweetly. Then, before he could react, I blurted out as fast as I could, ¡°Oh, I¡¯m gonna say it one time: Alfie Thomason.¡±

    The look he gave me could have melted steel. Worth it.

    ¡°You done?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m done.¡±

    Vibeninis cleared his throat. ¡°Are you both done?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jinx said.

    ¡°Sorry.¡± I was fighting back the giggles; I felt like a school kid sent to the principal¡¯s office for doing something stupid.

    The Magistrate then pulled a small form out of his desk and began filling it out with a feather quill. ¡°The rules for residency are simple enough.¡± He said, scribbling quickly on the parchment. ¡°You will be given all protections of a full citizen so long as you pay your taxes and follow Imperial law. You will be allowed to travel throughout all the Empire''s nations, cities, and colonies. You will not, however, have the right to vote, hold property larger than a single dwelling, or serve directly in the Imperial government or military.¡±

    ¡°Okay.¡±

    ¡°The only exception is at time of war, when you may be conscripted into service.¡±

    ¡°Again, okay.¡±

    ¡°Imperial citizenship is allowed after three years of residency. During that time, you are not allowed to leave the borders of the Empire for longer than one calendar year.¡± He shuffled the paper aside and grabbed another.

    He dipped his feather and began furiously writing again. ¡°Exceeding one year outside our borders will negate the contract, and you must reapply.¡±

    ¡°And, Okay, again.¡±

    ¡°You recognize Empress Claudia Fidelis as the divine ruler of this Empire and all of its nations?¡±

    ¡°Um, Sure?¡±

    ¡°Lastly,¡± he said. ¡°You must submit to an Imperial scribe''s appraisal.¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s an appraisal?¡±

    ¡°An examination of your Character Sheet,¡± Vibeninis said. ¡°Verification of your identity.¡± He pulled a third paper out and started filling in the blanks.

    I glanced over at Jinx. He shrugged and nodded.

    ¡°Okay, Let¡¯s do it.¡±

    It was early evening by the time we reentered the Iron Hammer. I now had copies of the three forms from the Magistrate and a silver token in my inventory. Kev and Gem were at one of the tables close to the bar. They were both nursing mugs. A partially picked-over plate of cheese, meats, and dried fruit sat between them. They were dressed in casual clothes, a tunic and pants for Kev, and Gem wore the same dress she had the previous night.

    ¡°Everything squared away?¡± She asked when we sat.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I said, popping a piece of cheese. It was white, with little black spots on it. It tasted sharp and earthy, like goat cheese. Seriously yummy.

    Jinx helped himself to the platter. ¡°Bloody waste.¡± He said bitterly. ¡°She had to pony up two GP to process the paperwork.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s better than being here illegally,¡± Kev said. ¡°You know they can press illegals, right?¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± said Gem. ¡°At least everyone¡¯s protected.

    ¡°You mean pressed,¡± I asked through a mouth full of cheese, ¡°As in slavery?¡± That ain¡¯t good, Regan. I thought.

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°But she weren''t ''ere illegally.,¡± Jinx said. ¡°Just not registered. Now they ''ave all ''er stats and info so that they can keep tabs on ''er.¡±

    ¡°The Empire has that on everybody,¡± Kev said. ¡°You just have issues with authority.¡±

    ¡°Not all authority,¡± Jinx muttered. ¡°Just that, that ain¡¯t mine.¡±

    ¡°Oy,¡± the barkeep barked out to the room. ¡°Number twenty-four, yer up!¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s you,¡± Gem said.

    ¡°Me? What?¡± I asked her.

    ¡°The bathhouse is clear for the next hour,¡± Gem said, standing up and handing me a small, numbered slip. ¡°You should partake. Just take it up to the bar.¡±

    I did as I was instructed, handing the bartender a copper coin and the slip. He gave me a grin, sliding a key across the bar. ¡°Don¡¯t be makin¡¯ a mess in there, lass,¡± he grumbled, jerking his thumb toward the door behind him.

    The bathhouse was tucked in the inn''s basement, right across from the storage room. The space inside was bathed in soft green and blue light, making it feel like it was in another world. In the center of the room sat a recessed copper tub, steaming like it had been waiting just for me. The sharp, clean scent of eucalyptus hung in the air, thick enough to taste.

    I locked the door behind me and shifted my armor into my inventory, a trick I still wasn¡¯t used to. Before sinking into the tub, a mirror by the door caught my eye. I froze, staring at the half-elf in the reflection. Crazy pink hair. Petite but muscular body with an hourglass figure. High cheekbones, pouty lips, and big elf eyes. It wasn¡¯t me, not really. The woman in the mirror looked like a fantasy-inspired pinup model shrunk to fit in a fun-sized wrapper.

    When I walked around town or sat on a wagon, my brain pictured my old body doing those things. Not this... elf. The image was alien. It looked wrong. My hands drifted over it¡ªover me¡ªfeeling the curves, the smoothness of the skin, the unfamiliar planes. My shoulders. My face. My breasts. Between my legs. I shivered at my new body¡¯s...um...sensitivity.

    A wave of dread hit like a bucket of ice water. My legs buckled, and I nearly went down. My palms slapped the wet stone floor as my heart jackhammered in my chest. It¡¯s not me. I¡¯m not this. My thoughts spun out of control, ping-ponging between two worlds. Colorado. Nya. Megan. My parents. The group interview in the beige conference room last week. Gem and Kev. Jinx. Kettlebottom. My old, flawed, human body. This weird, perfect elf one.

    I bit my lip hard enough to break the skin, but it grounded me, keeping me from crying. My breath came in short gasps until the feeling ebbed as quickly as it came. My heart slowed, my hands steadied, and I crawled into the steaming water. It swallowed me like an embrace, the perfumed heat chasing away the worst of the panic. I sunk under the surface. My hair resisted, but little me could sink far enough to pull the disobedient strands down with me.

    Even as my body relaxed, my mind wouldn¡¯t. It felt... displaced, like it hadn¡¯t settled into this new world or body. Whenever I was alone, my brain rebelled, scrambling to shove together pieces that didn¡¯t fit. Alone used to be my comfort zone. I didn¡¯t need people. Hell, I actively avoided them. But now? I couldn¡¯t stand solitude. My mind needed the noise, the distraction.

    It had only been a day and a half since I¡¯d arrived, and I prayed this adjustment period wouldn¡¯t last forever. Freaking out every time a door closed behind me wasn¡¯t a sustainable lifestyle.

    Determined to pull myself together, I scrubbed¡ªevery inch. Hair, nails, skin¡ªnothing was safe from the cloth. My stupid, vibrant hair resisted, but I fought it into submission. The washing turned into something else, though. It became an exploration.

    Everything felt different. My skin was taut, stretched like a drumhead. My arms and legs were hard, muscled in a way they never had been before. My fingers traced the contours of my new body, the circles of my fuller breasts, my overly sensitive nipples, and the curve of my waist.

    This wasn¡¯t the body I knew. But for better or worse, it was mine now.

    I reached down, hesitantly exploring between my legs, and sucked in a sharp breath. That was... different. Softer. More delicate. It wasn¡¯t unsettling this time. Thankfully, today¡¯s quota for existential panic had already been met. As I rubbed, my thoughts wandered, and with them came faces.

    Gem¡¯s face. Her figure. The memory of her lying next to me the night before, her body pressed against mine. My pulse quickened at the thought of it. Then there was Kev, shirtless, his green skin gleaming. The image of him moved through my mind, his strength, his hands, the weight of him pressing me into a mattress, maybe? Actually, it was the bed of straw in the back of the wagon; I imagined the way he would feel inside me.

    And, because apparently, my brain couldn¡¯t help itself, the damn dwarven guard came marching in, their armor pieces bouncing and clanging on the floor as they pulled them off. It wasn¡¯t long before a full-blown orgy was raging in my head, pulling me in every direction. Gem, Kev, the guard, it was almost too much. I wanted all of them, any of them, every single one who bounced into my thoughts.

    My body shuddered, the sensation building until it broke in a messy, uncontrollable ripple that rolled through me. A groan escaped my lips as the release spread from between my legs to the rest of me, leaving me trembling, breathless, and thoroughly overwhelmed.

    ¡°Oh¡­¡± I moaned out to the universe. ¡°Holy Shit.¡± God, I hope there weren¡¯t any peepholes in this room.

    Fifty minutes later, I walked out, somehow feeling dirtier than when I had gone in. I looked around the area by the bar. I was pretty sure if one of these asshats had been watching me, there would be no way they could hide it.

    ¡°Feel better?¡± Gem asked as I joined her back at the table. Kev and Jinx were gone, and there was no sign of Heather.

    I just rubbed one out in the bath. I almost wanted to say. My face was still blushing, and I felt a little weak in the knees. I just nodded with a dumb smile on my face.

    ¡°Where¡¯re the boys,¡± I asked, sitting across from her.

    ¡°Off to the brothel, I expect.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± I wrinkled my nose at the thought. ¡°Gross.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re a prude.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not a prude.¡± I glared at her. ¡°They don¡¯t really have brothels where I come from.¡± I gestured to the wench for a drink. ¡°Just something else I need to get used to.¡±

    ¡°The men there must be insufferable.¡±

    ¡°Not really. I didn¡¯t do much in that department, and I don¡¯t really go out that much, so I don¡¯t have much experience, good or bad.¡± The wench dropped a mug down.

    ¡°Why?¡± Gem asked.

    ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± I sipped my drink. The mead was sweet. I liked it. ¡°I don¡¯t feel much of a drive to do anything. At least¡­¡±

    ¡°At least what?¡± Gem looked at me coyly.

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s a little different here.¡± I took a deep breath. ¡°I am... definitely, a little more...¡± No words were coming out.

    ¡°Arousable?¡±

    ¡°It usually takes a lot for me to get excited, like I need to be watching or reading something, but now...I don¡¯t get it.¡± I could feel my face blushing even more at the conversation. Gem just smiled at me kindly and sipped her drink. She also didn¡¯t break eye contact. I''m not sure; she may not have even been blinking.

    ¡°You know what my solution is?¡¯

    ¡°I couldn¡¯t imagine.¡±

    Gem stood up and offered her hand to me. I looked back and forth between Gem¡¯s hand and face.

    ¡°Seriously?¡± I asked. Instantly, my body and mind were at odds again. Adrenaline surged, and I felt butterflies in my stomach.

    ¡°Oh yeah.¡± With her other hand, Gem tossed two copper coins on the tabletop.

 Chapter Six: Gift of Tongues. Not the same thing.

    Chapter Six: Gift of Tongues. Not the same thing.

    The beds at the inn weren¡¯t exactly luxurious. I woke to Gem grumbling about rocks and straw in her sleep right before dawn. She drifted back in seconds, leaving me wide awake. Thank you very much. So naturally, my mind started its daily exercise routine of sprinting towards mental bedlam.

    The bed was tiny. Gem was on her back against the wall, and I was curled up on my side, my head resting on her arm. My hair was like some pink, frizzy shoulder cat. We were still all naked from the night before, but at least we were warm under the covers. We fit perfectly together, like Africa and South America if you pushed them together.

    They didn¡¯t call the continents Africa and South America, did they? Of course, they didn¡¯t. Not that I had a clue. A new pot of thought stew started stirring in my head. I didn¡¯t know the seasons, weather, or calendars. What month was it? The year? Did anyone know, or was this just one of those "vibes" timelines? I hadn¡¯t asked. The last two days had been a blur of rift-related nonsense, orcs, new bodies, new lives, and, oh yeah, one fewer virginities. Maybe today should be the day I start tackling the basics.

    NEW QUEST:

    LEARN YOUR NUMBERS

    You need to catch up on preschool-level education. Figure out the Imperial Calendar before you embarrass yourself.

    Reward:

    You won''t embarrass yourself more.

    The Whisperer chuckled softly as she read me the bullshit quest¡ªtotal nonsense, of course, but helpful nonsense. Besides, having her leave a sticky note in my brain wasn¡¯t the worst.

    I realized I hadn¡¯t taken much time to poke around my magical interface since I got here. It had been non-stop running, stabbing, and what-the-fucking, up to this point. But now, with a rare moment of calm in the charming hellscape of Murder World, I decided to explore.

    First up: the map. It hovered in the lower right corner of my vision, the most prominent element in my interface. Right now, I was just a dot tucked into the northeast corner of the Iron Hammer. I focused on the map, and it expanded to fill my vision. Zooming out was easy. Just thinking about it worked. The inn snapped into place among the surrounding buildings. Even the room I was in had details labeled. Kettlebottom¡¯s was nearby, clearly marked.

    I zoomed out further, and the route I¡¯d walked with Jinx yesterday lit up on the map. Shops I¡¯d passed had signs, and street carts were labeled with what they sold: meats, fruits, baskets. It was like my brain was playing back footage from earlier, annotating everything I¡¯d noticed.

    Another zoom revealed a larger county map, the one Jinx had shown me. It even tracked my path all the way from the barn in the village, named Barley Field, apparently. It would¡¯ve been a nice place if orcs hadn¡¯t murdered everyone. The whole thing felt like every open-world game I¡¯d ever played, which made it oddly comforting and ridiculously intuitive.

    My interface had other elements lurking in the corners of my vision. In the lower-left were my status bars: EP, AP, and VP, all green and full. When I focused on the VP bar, it slid into the center of my vision, accompanied by the word Trend. I activated it. A little bar graph popped up, charting my VP levels since I¡¯d arrived. Most of it was steady, but there were dips early on, moments I was sure I was about to die. Reassuring.

    At the top left of my vision, a cryptic message hovered:

    Second Beldrin of Funa.

    Intriguing? Yes. Something I was willing to wake Gem to ask about? Absolutely not. Directly below it, was Inventory. I¡¯d messed with it earlier, but I was being careful. I didn¡¯t want to accidentally summon a weapon while¡ª Oh Fuck!

    Sick Stick appeared in my right hand under the covers. Thank every available god that the business end was pointed away from Gem. I silently gasped, dismissed it, and cursed myself for reckless brain-clicking.

    Party info was in the upper right corner above the map. Gem, Kev, and Jinx were all there, their little avatars glowing cheerfully. I didn¡¯t pick them, but they were populated with small cartoonish faces of my friends. I could activate the chat to beam my voice into their heads, but honestly, I couldn¡¯t think of a crueler punishment. The party name¡ªThe Animaniacs¡ªcaught my eye. I stifled a laugh. Jinx. Of course, it was Jinx.

    Between the party info and the map, two more items hovered. The first was Messages, a running log of everything The Whisperer had sent me. It was a grab bag of open and completed quests and random brain-drops about looted orcs and maps. It was good to hold on to this stuff, I guessed. But after some time, it would be a mess if I needed to go back and revisit something random that she said was important.

    Below Messages was Character Sheet: everything about me, reduced to neat stats and numbers. I¡¯d skimmed it the first night I arrived, but not much had changed since then. Honestly, I didn¡¯t love the idea of looking under the hood too often. I already spent enough time in my head. My ability to obsess over the stupidest shit was a sheer invitation to an ADHD nightmare, and the last thing I needed was to know just how fucked up I really was.

    I stayed tucked against Gem, inhaling her mix of scents. Her skin was warm and musky, still carrying hints of eucalyptus from the bath. Her hair smelled fruity, like mango. There was also¡­a lingering reminder of last night from lower down. All of it blended with the smoky smell of the inn into a fragrance I desperately wanted to bottle and sell. "Gem Essence?" I stayed until sunlight began sneaking through the blinds.

    With the first rays of dawn, I carefully slipped out of bed, equipping my default tunic-and-pants combo like some bargain-bin adventurer. Activating Stealth with a minor dip in AP, I soundlessly snuck out of the room.

    The inn was still fast asleep, save for the kitchen. With nothing better to do and the faint hope of caffeine, or whatever the Nya equivalent was, I wandered toward the back. Still in stealth mode, I was surprised to find Heather at the counter. She sat with a bowl of porridge in front of her and, more importantly, a steaming cup of something that smelled suspiciously like salvation.

    She wore the same robes from the day before, looking as pristine as if she¡¯d pressed and ironed them overnight. Her hair was neatly braided, her face fresh and awake. Clearly, she was a morning person. I never really was.

    The kitchen was alive with activity. The stove roared, pots bubbled and hissed, and the air was thick with the smell of food. Bent over the oven, the dwarven cook pulled out a tray of bread, her movements efficient and unbothered, like she¡¯d been baking since the dawn of time. Meanwhile, I was just trying to remember how to exist.

    ¡°¡­That''s when ah telt him ah wisnae gonnae be his wife anymore.¡± The cook continued her conversation with Heather.

    ¡°He does sound ungrateful,¡± Heather said, smiling. ¡°Is that when you finally left?¡±

    ¡°That verra mornin'', ah packed up everythin'' ah could put on the back o'' a pony, and ah havenae been back. It''s been thirty years since.¡± She smiled at the priestess and put the tray on the cooling rack. ¡°Ah own half this place, and ah dinnae answer tae anyone.¡± She turned around, and I got my first look at her. She was middle-aged with long, silver and blond curls and large green eyes. She wore a green cotton dress covered with a huge white apron. I had to dig deep to understand the dwarven cook¡¯s accent.

    ¡°Good morning,¡± I deactivated Stealth and walked into the room.

    "Guid mornin'', dear," the cook said. "Micht ah put somethin'' thegither fur ye?"

    ¡°What Priestess Heather has looks pretty good,¡± I smiled over at Heather, ¡°That wouldn¡¯t be coffee in that cup would it?¡±

    ¡°It is,¡± Heather said. ¡°It¡¯s good too.¡± She scooted over a couple of inches to allow me to fit on the bench beside her.

    ¡°Ah''ll hae it fur ye in twa shakes.¡±

    ¡°Thanks,¡± I said. I slipped onto the bench next to Heather and giggled quietly when I realized the counter was still up a little high. ¡°I¡¯m not used to this body yet.¡±

    ¡°You will. I heard you went with the Rogue class.¡± Heather said, taking a bite of her porridge.

    ¡°It seems like a good place to start,¡± I held up my tiny Elf hands, showing them to her. ¡°I¡¯m too little and weak to be a fighter, not smart enough to be a wizard, and I don¡¯t know of any gods to follow.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t have gods in your world?¡±

    ¡°In my world, they¡¯re just made up, and no one can agree on what they would say if they were real.¡±

    Heather turned to me with a look of exasperation. ¡°You mean there aren¡¯t any gods on your world at all?¡±

    ¡°No gods, no magic.¡±

    ¡°Who guides your people?¡±

    ¡°No one, we just kind of make shit up. It¡¯s not like it¡¯s the Wild West or anything; people mostly have a moral compass, but there¡¯s nothing real that enforces it.¡±

    ¡°The Wild West?¡±

    ¡°I mean, we have laws and governments and all of that, and most people try to do the right thing.¡±

    ¡°Here ye go, sweetie.¡± The cook set the bowl and mug down on the counter.

    ¡°This looks amazing,¡± I said. ¡°Thanks.¡±

    ¡°Ye¡¯re most welcome.¡±

    ¡°So, people just¡­ make up gods?¡± Heather blinked, momentarily abandoning her breakfast.

    ¡°Yeah¡­¡± I replied, taking a sip of coffee. It was hot, bitter, and absolutely divine. Well, it was as divine as gas station coffee could get, which is exactly what it tasted like. It tasted like home¡ªthe most Earth-like thing I¡¯d encountered since landing in Murder World. For a fleeting moment, I was back on endless commutes down I-225, gripping the wheel, yelling at Texans who thought snow was a myth. It hit me like a rubber mallet: I was getting nostalgic for that? Morning traffic. Blizzards. My old life. The worst parts of it. Monkey brain shut the fuck up.

    Heather was staring at me now, a mix of curiosity and expectation on her face. Or maybe she was picking up on the suspicious glint in my eyes. I took another sip, letting the mug shield me, hoping it would all pass unnoticed.

    I set the cup down gently, giving a little dismissive laugh. ¡°This stuff¡¯s hotter than I expected,¡± I said casually like that explained everything.

    ¡°Sure,¡± she said, skepticism dripping off the word. Her bullshit detector was probably in the red, but mercifully, she let it slide.

    I didn¡¯t know her, but she could obviously read people. And me? I was an open book, the kind even a blind man could read from across the street. She saw right through me, no doubt. But, surprisingly, she didn¡¯t push. Yesterday, she¡¯d given off major mean-girl energy, but right now? She wasn¡¯t using it against me.

    For a moment, her expression softened¡ªjust slightly. As sharp and bitchy as she¡¯d been, she couldn¡¯t seem to shut off her empathy. She¡¯d been wearing her mask of indifference since the moment I met her, though I couldn¡¯t say why.

    I inhaled deeply through my nose, exhaled through my mouth, and tried to shove my existential crisis back into its box. Time to rejoin the conversation. ¡°But¡­¡± I searched for the thread we¡¯d been tugging on. Crisis officially over. ¡°¡­I think most people who talk about gods in my world, even though they don¡¯t exist, actually believe in them.¡±

    ¡°So,¡± Heather nodded. ¡°To them, the gods are real.¡± She slid back into whatever mode she was in, shutting off the facial scanner and back to learning about my messed-up world.

    ¡°I suppose, but it¡¯s more like just believing what you¡¯re told and not really questioning whether it¡¯s real or not.¡± I took another sip. ¡°I mean,¡± after I swallowed. ¡°You¡¯re god empowers you in a tangible, quantifiable way.¡±Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

    ¡°Amania shares her gifts with everyone,¡± Heather said reverently. ¡°And you don¡¯t have to believe in her for her to be real.¡±

    ¡°Does she have a physical existence?¡±

    ¡°She visits Nya in the form of an avatar, a living body.¡±

    ¡°Not someone claiming to be her?¡± I asked. ¡°We¡¯ve had lots of guys that do that back home.¡±

    ¡°No, it¡¯s very much her. I saw her once. She visits the temples and schools from time to time to share blessings.¡±

    ¡°Amania sounds nice. I¡¯d probably like her if I met her.¡±

    ¡°Sorry about yesterday,¡± Heather said. ¡°I had time to think as I walked and meditated on it last night.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± I took a bite of porridge; a big slab of butter was melting on it, and it was flavored with sugar and dried fruit; it was terrific. ¡°We¡¯re going to be traveling together. Road rules apply. We all make it back. No matter whether we like each other or not.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t dislike you,¡± Heather said.

    ¡°You left me with a different impression yesterday.¡±

    ¡°All of those born to this world will know the grace of Amania. Do you understand what that means?¡±

    ¡°Kind of,¡± I said. ¡°I guess?¡±

    ¡°Our goddess seeks to elevate people to a state of grace,¡± Heather said, turning to me with a calm intensity. ¡°Physically and spiritually, so they can pass cleanly from this world to the next. Death is a traumatic thing for the soul to experience, and there¡¯s the danger for those who carry lingering regrets or unresolved issues. Those things can keep them tethered to this plane of existence and become vulnerable to evil forces.¡±

    She set her spoon down and folded her hands, her posture calm but purposeful, like she was about to deliver a sermon. ¡°That¡¯s what we do,¡± she said softly. ¡°We help people learn to let go of the darkness within themselves. To see that it doesn¡¯t have to define who they are.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯re born with an innate sense of right and wrong, but the world¡­¡± She paused, her gaze steady. ¡°The world twists that. It wears us down and makes us forget. But living a life where we try to do the right thing¡ªfor ourselves and others¡ªthat¡¯s enough. Even when we make mistakes, lose our way, and end up in places we never thought we¡¯d go, there¡¯s always a way back. She can guide anyone out of the shadows and into the light.¡±

    Heather extended her right hand toward me, palm up. A small shimmering ball of light began to form, floating gently above her skin. ¡°Healing magic,¡± she said, her voice soft but steady, ¡°is her way of showing love for all of us. It¡¯s a tool¡ªnot just to mend the body, but to help the spirit understand her grace.¡±

    ¡°Okay, then.¡±

    ¡°I joined this church to heal the spirits of those who are astray and to heal the bodies of the sick.¡± She put her hand down. ¡°That is how I seek to find my own grace.¡±

    ¡°So, you want to share your gifts with the world then?¡±

    ¡°On behalf of Amania. That is my mission, my duty.¡± Heather took a sip of coffee. ¡°But my temple decided they would take money from a band of mercenaries and hire me out as a healer.¡±

    ¡°Oh. Shit. No wonder you¡¯re pissed.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t get a say on where the leaders of my faith send me. Instead of fulfilling my role by setting an example and spreading the word of my Goddess¡¯ grace, I¡¯m here. Pimped out by my church, supporting mercenaries as they cut and slaughter their way around the countryside.¡± She smiled bitterly at me. ¡°I might as well be a whore.¡±

    ¡°I guess the mercenary types don¡¯t appreciate your position, do they?¡±

    ¡°They aren¡¯t people of faith,¡± Heather said, shrugging her shoulders. ¡°Not mine, anyway. They see anything that has to do with gold as a simple transaction. They assume everyone on the road is like them.¡±

    ¡°So now I understand why you were being a total bitch yesterday.¡±

    ¡°Gee, thanks.¡±

    ¡°As far as those three are,¡± I said, tilting my head to the door. ¡°They could have just bonked me on the head yesterday and took the axe for themselves.¡±

    Heather sighed and sipped her coffee. ¡°But they didn¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°Stinky souls and all.¡±

    ¡°I find their violence unsettling. They are so casual with it.¡±

    ¡°But¡­¡±

    ¡°They are honorable. It¡¯s a virtue. A form of grace, I suppose.¡± She smiled at me and shook her head. ¡°I have a lot to learn; I¡¯m new to this, too.¡±

    ¡°So, there might be hope for me. Maybe them too.¡± I took two quick bites of porridge, fearing it might start to get cold.

    Heather took a bite of her own, followed it up with a sip of coffee, and shrugged. ¡°Strictly speaking, rifters are not born of this world. You were not born in a state of grace. Not her grace anyway. But that¡¯s not your fault. You didn¡¯t ask to come here. I won¡¯t leave you or anybody bleeding on the side of the road.¡± She smiled at me. ¡°That¡¯s a promise in the name of Amania.¡±

    ¡°I have a feeling when things get hairy, I¡¯ll be keeping both of you busy.¡±

    Heather finished her breakfast before me. She pulled out a copper and dropped it on the counter. She thanked the cook, who smiled and said she was welcome.

    ¡°See you out there.¡± She said to me. She slipped off the counter and left the kitchen.

    I hungrily watched Heather¡¯s shapely rear end and hips sway as she walked out. Her robes really clung in the right places to accentuate her lovely curves. For the briefest of moments, I imagined¡­Shit! All these thoughts and urges were constantly bopping around my head when I wasn¡¯t busy doing something.

    I just had the first real sexual encounter in my life just a few short hours ago, and I was already fantasizing about wrapping my thighs around another person. I shook my head, trying to clear the thoughts and urges from my brain, and finished my breakfast while the cook continued to complain about her ex-husband in an accent I could barely understand.

    I left the inn after breakfast. Wood Cut was beginning to wake up, and I sat on the bench in front of the Iron Hammer, watching the citizens as they made their way to various places. The mill workers moved en masse, primarily dwarves, wearing leather aprons and carrying sacks over their broad shoulders. They wore lederhosen-like overalls with colorful embroidery and heavy work boots.

    The almost-human people astounded me. All the features were there but were larger in some places and smaller in others. All the men were bearded with the same range of hair color as humans, and the women were built almost the same as the men, with long braided hair that ran nearly to the ground behind them.

    Mixed in with the dwarves were gnomes like Kettlebottom. They were small, child-sized adults with sharp features. There was a smattering of humans and elves, too. It was not a very large village, but it seemed very cosmopolitan.

    After about a half hour, Jinx emerged, grumbling to himself. He was clad in his blue robe again, the hood down. His bald head glistened in the morning sun. He had a roll in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other.

    ¡°Good morning, Jinx,¡± I said to him. He seemed to be startled a little at the site of me.

    ¡°Oh," He said. "Good mornin'', love. You sleep well?¡±

    ¡°Well enough.¡±

    ¡°Good dreams, I hope.¡±

    ¡°No dreams, actually.¡±

    ¡°Good enough then,¡± he stood awkwardly before me for a moment. ¡°I''m goin'' to take a turn about the town and get my legs a workin''. We''re goin'' to be sittin'' on that bloody cart for a good part of the day until we get to the chagkraaw nest.¡± He spun on his heel and briskly walked up the street towards the middle of town, ¡°Cheers!¡± he proclaimed back at me, his cup in the air.

    Gem emerged a moment later with her own breakfast to go: an apple and mug of coffee. She slid onto the bench next to me and kissed my cheek.

    ¡°Where¡¯d Jinx go?¡±

    ¡°Said he was gonna take a turn about the town since we¡¯re gonna be sitting on a cart all day.¡±

    ¡°You snuck out early enough.¡±

    ¡°Stealth skill,¡± I could feel my face get hot from the kiss. ¡°I can¡¯t turn it off.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not a bed-and-dash type, I hope.¡± She took a bite of her apple, watching me closely.

    ¡°Not a bed-and-anything type.¡±

    "About that..." Gem¡¯s tone shifted, her playful demeanor giving way to something heavier. She looked uncomfortable.

    My radar for trouble pinged. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re new here, and I feel like... I might have taken advantage

    ¡°I may be new, but I¡¯m an adult.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not that.¡± She sighed and hesitated before continuing. ¡°I¡¯m not exactly human.¡±

    I blinked at that. ¡°The antlers, tail, fuzzy legs and that tongue are a dead giveaway.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s not what I mean.¡± She gave me a pained smile. ¡°My mother is human. My father is a Satyr.¡±

    ¡°No idea what that means.¡±

    ¡°Satyrs are beings of lust.¡± She looked at me, expecting something. I had no idea what. ¡°You come from a world of all humans, so you expect people to act like humans.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± I smiled. ¡°I¡¯m a people are people kind of girl, so it doesn¡¯t matter to me.¡±

    ¡°My father bedded my mother,¡± she sighed, ¡°and he left.¡±

    ¡°Still sounding human.¡±

    ¡°He comes back from time to time, but he never stays, no matter how much he loves her. It¡¯s our nature.¡± she shrugged, but she had a look of sadness on her face.

    ¡°So, you¡¯re telling me all this...¡± I circled my finger between us, ¡°...is not a thing that will last?¡±

    ¡°Not exactly.¡± She looked ashamed, not even keeping eye contact with me. ¡°I can never belong to a single person. Something I inherited from my father.¡±

    I raised my eyebrows at her. ¡°Hit it and split, huh?¡± I tried to hide the skepticism in my voice.

    ¡°It¡¯s not like that.¡± She sounded a little defensive. Seriously? ¡°I just want you to understand that I have a home in the woods; that is where I belong. I came out to earn gold for my mother and sisters. I won¡¯t be following you wherever you are going.¡±

    ¡°If I got it into my head to follow you, then what?¡±

    She laughed. ¡°You hate camping. I pretty much live in a tree.¡±

    ¡°I thought you were asleep when I said that.¡±

    ¡°Doesn¡¯t mean I didn¡¯t hear you. Remember, not human.¡±

    ¡°This is, uh...¡± I started looking for the words. ¡°Kind of a temporary thing?¡±

    ¡°We love,¡± she said. ¡°Satyrs, I mean. In fact, we love a little too easily. I will always come back if I can.¡±

    ¡°You mean you love me?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± she held up her hands. I¡¯m pretty sure that her face was blushing, but it was hard to tell. ¡°I¡¯m very fond of you, but we just met.¡±

    ¡°So, no matter how we feel about each other, you will always be headed out.¡±

    ¡°I feel absolutely terrible,¡± she said. For the first time, I could see this was a genuine burden. Her eyes were starting to glisten as she spoke. ¡°You trusted me, not understanding the nature of my kind.¡±

    ¡°Hey,¡± I put my arm on her shoulder and kissed her cheek. ¡°I don¡¯t know anything about this world, but what happened last night was one of the most amazing things to ever happen to me. That isn¡¯t going to go away.¡± I shrugged my shoulders. ¡°In this world, I have no idea what will happen today, much less tomorrow or a year from now, assuming I¡¯m still around.¡±

    She smiled at me, tears running down her beautiful, weird face. ¡°I hope you¡¯re around.¡±

    ¡°One thing¡¯s for sure: I¡¯m not planning on bailing.¡± I bumped up against her playfully. ¡°And I have a lot to learn.¡±

    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t know from last night.¡± She said coyly. ¡°They do say that urban Elves have the gift of tongue.¡±

    My face flushed an even brighter red. I giggled. ¡°Gift of Tongues. Not the same thing.¡± The sex talk was enough to set my body off yet again. I squirmed a little on the bench as we chatted. Gem gave me a smoldering look over her mug.

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna take a turn about town myself.¡± I would be sitting all day with Gem and the rest of the party, so I wanted to get a little more time in my head before going out. I needed to practice solitude without panicking.

    ¡°See ya soon,¡± Gem said, taking a swig from her mug.

    I followed the path Jinx had taken just a moment earlier, strolling up the bustling street. Shops and stalls along the main drag were springing to life, their shutters creaking open as the smell of baking bread mingled with the early-morning air. In the distance, the mill belched its first smoke of the day, and the saws let out a long, metallic wail. It was like Wood Cuts¡¯s alarm clock¡ªunpleasant but effective.

    A fruit stall caught my eye, and I stocked up: half a dozen apples and a handful of plums. Into storage, they went. I moseyed along, grabbing sausages wrapped in crisp leaves, biscuits that promised crumbly goodness, strips of bacon, and a wedge of cheese like the one I tasted at the Iron Hammer last night. By the time I was done, my pockets were jingling with none of the loose change Gem had given me. Every coin had found its way into the hands of vendors who now seemed far too happy.

    Eventually, I found myself outside Graybrow¡¯s. The shop window was filled with mannequins dressed in adventure chic: chaps, armor, leather bits, and pieces that screamed, I¡¯m here to slay monsters, but I also care about looking stylish. A stray comment from The Whisperer about my storage sparked an idea, so I ducked inside.

    NEGOTIATION SKILL INCREASED

    NEGOTIATION SKILL NOW LEVEL 2

    +14XP

    Charisma +1

    Thirty minutes later, I walked out poorer in gold but richer in life. I¡¯d decided it was time to invest in my adventuring future. I was now kitted in leather armor with a standard dagger hanging from a new belt. Across my chest, a magically reinforced bandolier proudly carried cheap potions for healing, energy, and stamina. It even had a built-in scabbard for my short sword. A new pack strapped to my back held basic supplies, including a bedroll. The pack came with a nifty quick-release buckle, perfect for when I needed to make a dramatic exit. When I rejoined the party outside the inn, Gem raised an eyebrow at me. ¡°You do have storage, you know.¡±

    ¡°And now I have more storage,¡± I shot back with a grin and slipped my Colorado beanie on. It was blue with the Colorado ¡°C.¡± It clashed spectacularly with the leather armor but pinned my curls in place. Those curls were getting out of hand. A haircut was in my near future, hopefully not a distant one.

    Less than fifteen minutes later, we set off. At my insistence, Heather hopped in the back with us girls. I reintroduced her to Gem and made them hug. After that, we cranked up the girlie talk and got more than one nasty look from Jinx as we giggled. I had a feeling he thought I would spill the beans on Alfie, or maybe he was just a grumpy bastard.

    It wasn¡¯t long before we were out the gate and back on the Imperial Highway. My new gear was jingling lightly with every bump. I was feeling a mixture of excitement and apprehension. Officially, I have had as many good days as bad days in this place, but the road promised danger, no matter what. So, I hung on to the good moments when they came by.

 Chapter Seven: I will always hate camping.

    Chapter Seven: I will always hate camping.

    ¡°Maybe try to lean into it more!¡± Kev shouted from the safety and comfort of the bank at the side of the marsh.

    I slammed my short sword repeatedly onto the chagkraaw brood mother with continued failure. The quest was simple: kill the twelve chagkraaws and the brood mother to eliminate the infestation¡ªcurrent quest status: twelve out of thirteen. We had all taken turns chasing down the slow-moving, massive amphibians around the marsh area. Now that the offspring were dead, the party decided to let me eliminate the queen to boost my XP.

    The problem is that a chagkraaw brood mother is a massive salamander the size of an elephant seal with the hide of a slimy rhinoceros. With all my strength, I could do little to penetrate the outer hide. It also didn¡¯t help that my left arm was swallowed up almost entirely by the creature. It didn¡¯t hurt, thankfully, as chagkraaws were herbivores, but I couldn¡¯t free my arm or do more than slap at it with my pitiful short sword. To add insult to injury, as I struggled with my fight, I saw the rest of the group pulling out silver coins as they quietly placed bets on the outcome.

    ¡°Fuck You!¡± I shouted at the beast. I then looked over at my so-called friends. ¡°And fuck you! Fuck You! Fuck You!¡± I pointed to each of them in turn with my useless sword. ¡°But not you, Heather.¡±

    ¡°I have silver on this too.¡± Heather beamed.

    ¡°Fuck you too, then!¡±

    The brood mother kept pulling on my arm. No matter what I did, I simply did not have the strength to cause any damage at all. As a fighter, I sucked. I had no strength or cunning ability to take on a monster at a higher level than me. But, after a moment of squatting in the marsh with a mindless creature latching onto my arm, the realization came to me. I have a null space.

    I called Sick Stick from my inventory into my left hand and gripped it tightly. The skin on the back of the beast¡¯s neck budged up where the dagger pushed against it from the inside.

    BACKSTAB ATTACK ON CHAGKRAAW BROOD MOTHER FOR X2 DAMAGE.

    32 VP DAMAGE TO CHAGKRAAW BROOD MOTHER.

    CHAGKRAAW BROOD MOTHER SUFFERS TILT A HURL DEBUFF

    TIME REMAINING: 5 SECONDS

    Technically, it was a backstab as the blade went in behind its head. The brood mother¡¯s eyes rolled back as the muscles in its throat constricted around my arm. I gripped the dagger with all my strength. An instant later, my arm was shoved out, the dagger dragging along the inside of the creature¡¯s throat and then into its mouth. A string of damage notifications doubled by the Back Stab bonus along the way. There was an audible crunch as the blade penetrated its skull.

    YOU HAVE DEFEATED CHAGKRAAW BROOD MOTHER.

    +157 XP.

    My arm popped out of the creature¡¯s mouth, along with the entire contents of its stomach. There were hoots and clapping from the bank as the party celebrated my victory. Drenched in the vomit of the brood mother, I sank into the water of the marsh since it was, unfortunately, the cleaner liquid. The stinking water rinsed away the even more stinking vomit.

    PARTY QUEST COMPLETED:

    CHAGKRAAW HUNT

    Chagkraaws are venturing into the fields of Grey Anvil and eating the crops. Eliminate the creatures and their brood mother to rid the farmers of the pestilence.

    Your party has eliminated all twelve chagkraaws and the brood mother.

    REWARD:

    125GP each

    +421XP

    An instant later, a new notification appeared:

    CORPSE:

    CHAGKRAAW BROOD MOTHER

    LOOTABLE ITEMS:

    CHAGKRAAW BROOD MOTHER HIDE (CRAFTING MATERIAL)

    IRON BOOT, LEFT

    7SP

    DO YOU WANT TO LOOT?

    Yes. I responded in my head, and there was a Shlop sound. The brood mother shifted in the marsh, and all her skin vanished in a puff of greasy steam. The items were added to storage and nicely highlighted in the inventory screen.

    I emerged from the marsh a moment later, having scrubbed as much of the mother¡¯s vomit off me as possible. Heather smiled smugly as she helped me out.

    ¡°What¡¯s with the stupid grin?¡± I growled at her.

    ¡°You made me three silvers.¡± Heather chimed. ¡°I bet you¡¯d find a way to backstab it. You¡¯re a rogue, after all.¡±

    I peeled off all the stinking, slimy crap and unceremoniously dumped it into Gem¡¯s laundry bag. I had pretty much run out of fucks for the day and didn¡¯t even bother turning around, though the party averted their eyes out of respect (except for Gem, naturally; she just leered at me.).

    Grabbing the magic soap, I¡¯d splurged on at Greybrow¡¯s, I got to work scrubbing away the layers of marsh muck and monster vomit. The soap was a game-changer, transforming the camping nightmare into something slightly less hellish.

    With a swipe, it left a trail of frothy white suds that rinsed off easily using just a splash from my canteen. Sure, it was a single-use item that dissolved dramatically in my hand like it was part of the show, but honestly? Best five gold I¡¯d ever spent.

    It was late afternoon, and we unanimously agreed to call it a day and settle in for the night before tackling Castle Longhorn. The marsh¡¯s edge wasn¡¯t overly buggy, and it seemed like a safe enough spot. I joined Heather and Gem in gathering wood and kindling for the fire while Kev took charge of the food prep, lining up meat and vegetables like he was auditioning for a fantasy cooking show. Jinx worked around the perimeter, chanting an incantation he claimed would keep the mosquitos and other bugs away.

    ¡°They¡¯ll be some right nasty creepy crawlies tryin¡¯ to get in ¡®ere, but this¡¯ll keep ¡¯em out,¡± he said with a cheeky grin and a wink when he was done. ¡°Don¡¯t go stompin¡¯ on ¡¯em, though, or they¡¯ll give you a proper bite.¡±

    ¡°Will it hold everything out?¡±

    ¡°Everything less than ten pounds in weight, so if you feel compelled to go take a stroll, the protection will hold up. I wouldn¡¯t recommend it until you get more levels.¡±

    ¡°So, it¡¯s gonna be a fun night.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s the night of the new moon,¡± Jinx said as we settled in at sunset around the fire. ¡°You ain''t seen it yet.¡±

    It was a warm evening, and the moon appeared as the sun set in the west. It rose out of the east. About twice the size of Earth¡¯s moon. It was a thin crescent, but even from my vantage point on my log seat by the fire, I could see the blue glow of the atmosphere that surrounded it. The surface was deep ocean blue and forest green with clouds in the sky over it. As it rose, it gave off a warm glow all over the world. Not the cold blue light of the dead moon I knew.

    ¡°Oh my god.¡±

    ¡°Ours¡¯s dead,¡± Jinx said to the group. ¡°Grey and plain as chalk.¡±

    ¡°Something definitely lives there,¡± Heather said. ¡°But it¡¯s not like anyone can go there to see.¡±

    ¡°We¡¯ve been to our moon,¡± I said. ¡°A long time ago.¡± I gazed up at it in wonder. ¡°But they couldn¡¯t stay for very long, no air.¡±

    ¡°How did they survive without air?¡± Kev asked.

    ¡°Suits,¡± Jinx said. ¡°They ''ad suits with air in ''em. They poked around for a while and then came back.¡±

    ¡°They did all that without magic?¡± Gem asked.

    ¡°We made do pretty well without it,¡± I said. ¡°Electricity, chemicals, computers. I guess people made stuff that did what magic does.¡±

    I shared stories about my family with everyone. Like my sister and me, my parents couldn¡¯t have been more opposite. Mom was a staunch conservative, chasing some utopian libertarian dream, while Dad taught high school art and probably smoked too much weed when she was at the office. Mom was a lawyer, and I didn¡¯t even have to explain that¡ªapparently, lawyers are a universal constant. Megan was Mom¡¯s golden child, while I was Dad¡¯s little oddball. If I weren¡¯t stuck in a different universe, I¡¯d probably be signing up for therapy right now¡­ just as soon as I got health insurance.

    I talked about college, which doesn¡¯t seem to exist in this world. Here, education is all about practical skills, so the concept of studying Art History for the sheer joy of learning made Kev¡¯s jaw drop. When I explained student loans, the group looked scandalized, like I¡¯d just described a form of medieval torture.

    I rambled on about life in Denver. You know, living near the mountains, but never really going to the mountains. I shared the irony of spending summer weekends at the Renaissance Faire in Larkspur and how I had way better outfits in my closet back home than anything I¡¯d managed to find here, not that they¡¯d fit this body or anything.

    I complained about the city¡¯s outrageous rent and shitty traffic. I bragged about its craft beer scene and casually mentioned that weed was legal. That got Jinx¡¯s attention, and he lit up like a kid hearing about Christmas for the first time. I wasn¡¯t that into weed myself, but he was thrilled.

    Finally, I told them everything I could about living on Earth in general: there was streaming TV, cell phones, WIFI, a world wide web of information that just made us all more stupid, and social media that did nothing but put a wedge between people. Jinx, having been out of the loop for thirty years or so, hung on every word I said, but I think he was most excited about weed.

    ¡°You¡¯re technology sounds like magic to me,¡± Kev said.

    ¡°I guess so. We just kind of make it ourselves, is all.¡±

    After dinner and a bit of conversation, we settled down with our bedrolls around the fire. I volunteered for the first watch, and Kev told me just to tap him on the shoulder if anything suspicious popped up. One by one, the group drifted off to sleep.

    As the moon climbed higher in the night sky, I found myself unexpectedly at peace. For a brief moment, everything felt¡­ okay. The moon was incredible. It was a massive crescent of green and brown continents.

    The contrast was hard to ignore: Nya¡¯s moon teemed with life, while ours was barren, a dead light in the sky. This world was just so much more alive than home. Every inch of it seemed to hum with something vibrant and untamed. At home? Not so much. It was comforting, in a way. But the city girl in me felt a little queasy, too. No pollution here. No smog. No litter-strewn roads or stinking rivers. I doubted there was a garbage island anywhere in this world. If there was, I figured something would¡¯ve eaten it by now.

    I was yanked out of my reverie by a faint, creepy sound behind me¡ªa rhythmic scrape-scrape, scrape-scrape. My body tensed as I spun around, summoning Sick Stick into my hand. It sounded like scribbling with chalk on a sidewalk.

    Thanks to my elf eyes and the moonlight that turned the night almost as bright as day, I scanned the campsite¡ªno immediate source of the sound. I activated Stealth, sneaking away from the group toward the noise.

    ¡°Oh,¡± I muttered, spotting it at last. ¡°Fuck me,¡± I whispered, just in case the universe was listening.

    It was a bug. Or at least I think it was a bug. The thing looked like a particularly deranged xenomorph fan had dreamed it up. About eighteen inches tall, it stood on long, celery-green, spiky legs. I think it had six, but who could keep track since they were constantly moving in different directions? The body was indistinct, but the head? Oh, the head. It was baseball-sized, with large, swiveling, toad-like eyes perched ominously on top.

    The scraping sound came from its mandibles¡ªnasty, six-inch-long things that clicked open and shut over and over. They were green and red, with venom sacs bulging at their bases. As they scraped against Jinx¡¯s shield, thick fluid dribbled from the tips, pooling into a milky, gross mess on the mossy ground.

    I froze, just watching it for a few minutes, trying to keep my composure. I didn¡¯t want to be all princessy about it. But come on. Where I come from, we don¡¯t even deal with roaches. And this thing? This was some unholy Australian outback mother fucker, turbocharged with meth and growth hormones.

    The bastard noticed me. The scraping intensified. Jinx had warned me not to stomp on anything out here unless I wanted to get bitten, and suddenly, that advice felt particularly relevant. I didn¡¯t know why, but it felt like this creature had been put in the universe specifically to ruin my night. Sure, I could take down orcs, but this little demon spawn? Way more terrifying.

    So, I did the most big-girl thing I could think of: I walked the fuck away. Yep, I turned my back on what was clearly meant to be the boss battle of the century. Somewhere up above, I imagined the gods shaking their heads in disappointment as their prime-time entertainment fizzled out.

    I finished the rest of my watch without incident, though the scraping was soon joined by a chorus of similar noises from its buddies. For some reason, the little snappers seemed particularly drawn to me. Maybe I just had the right kind of energy. I tuned them out, focusing instead on the moon as it crossed the sky. In its darkness, I caught faint flashes of lightning dancing across the unilluminated portion. It was breathtaking.

    When the moon was about halfway across, I gently tapped Kev on the shoulder to wake him. He startled awake, instinctively reaching for his hammer before realizing it was just me.

    ¡°Your turn,¡± I said, crawling into my bedroll. Somehow, I doubted he¡¯d appreciate the chorus of tiny nightmares lurking around the camp.

    ¡°It¡¯s cool, big guy,¡± I whispered. ¡°Your watch now.¡±

    He grumbled about something unintelligible and got up, not even looking at me. With the watch over, I slid my tired self into my bedroll and silently reminded the universe how much I hated camping.

    There were no dreams again. It was weird because I always used to have them. Almost every morning I would wake up, something lingering in my head from my slumbers. But not since landing in this world.

    As had become routine since arriving here, I was awake with the first light. Kev was back down, and Gem was now on watch. She was sitting quietly on a log, watching the sunrise.

    She looked mythical in the dawn light. Her raw, natural beauty was painted in golden hues by the rising sun. I couldn¡¯t help but admire her, caught by the way the light seemed to highlight every delicate and rugged feature. For a fleeting moment, I thought about grabbing my phone to capture it, but the idea felt¡­ wrong. Earth and Nya didn¡¯t mix well, not in the ways that mattered. Dragging something like that into this moment felt like it would shatter this world into a million pieces.

    Instead, I lay as still as possible, like the thief that I was to become. I was going to steal the scene without disturbing it. I studied every line and curve, every shade of gold and amber. I wanted to imprint it all, to preserve the moment perfectly in my mind. But the harder I tried to hold onto it, the more of it I lost.Love this story? Find the genuine version on the author''s preferred platform and support their work!

    So, I let it go. I stopped trying to capture it and just let myself be part of it. For what it was: a fleeting, perfect alignment of beautiful things.

    After a few moments, I rose. Instinctively, I¡¯d activated Stealth but quickly switched it off. The soft crunch of moss beneath my foot gave me away, and she turned to me. Her face lit up with a smile as she stood and crossed over to me.

    ¡°Morning,¡± I whispered, stretching up to kiss her. It started as a gentle peck, but soon we shared something deeper, more passionate. Kissing her was always a thrill¡ªfeeling the warmth of her lips, the strange, wonderful texture of her tongue, and the way her mouth moved against mine. Her arms slipped around my waist, her hands finding their way to my bottom. She gave me a playful pinch. It sent an electrifying shiver down my spine. I let out a little Yipe!

    ¡°Still hate camping?¡± she asked, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

    I returned her gaze, smiling. ¡°Yes,¡± I whispered softly. ¡°I will always hate camping.¡±

    ¡°By the Gods,¡± Kev moaned as he sat up. ¡°If you two are going to carry on, at least take it on the other side of the camp.¡±

    The other two groaned in agreement with the orc, but by that time, everyone was pretty much awake.

    ¡°Sorry.¡± My face burned with embarrassment. Gem just giggled quietly.

    Everyone was up, thanks to us. Each headed to their respective spots of relative privacy to take care of the AM business. I stoked the charcoals back to life, and before too long, Kev had us a nice little breakfast of bacon, biscuits, and coffee.

    It was as pleasant as last night. Sitting on the log, enjoying the greasy food and campground coffee. Spirits were high among everybody. Even Jinx seemed happy as he sipped his cup, enjoying the warm morning sun on his pale face.

    Heather said a blessing after we finished, and I could feel a warm glow. Her healing magic filled my body, smoothing out the little aches and pains of sleeping on the hard ground. I could see the faces of the rest of the group as they enjoyed the effects of top-shelf holy blessings.

    We gathered our gear and were back in the wagon in less than half an hour after eating. Jinx joined Kev on the bench like yesterday, and the girls sat in the back.

    The highway stretched out in front of us. It snaked lazily through the marshland and then straight on between fields of corn and wheat. Even with land that was tamed with cultivation, the world here just felt wild. In remote places back home, there were always signs of civilization. Here, there weren¡¯t powerlines cutting through the landscape, no markers on the road. The sky was wide with fluffy white clouds, no contrails above, just magnificent, huge falcons that circled around, riding the thermals up thousands of feet.

    The only signs that the fields were being worked were the tiny villages like the one I arrived in, usually every couple of miles or so. They consisted of a half dozen small huts surrounding a communal barn or other building set about a hundred yards or so off the highway. I never saw anyone in town as we passed since the inhabitants moved inside before we got too close. It was best to be wary of strangers, I guess.

    We had an early start, and before noon, we had moved passed the fields and into the forested hills beyond. The highway now climbed up in long switchbacks, with trees and tall grey, mossy stones that jutted up like pillars from the land around them. The evergreen trees were so thick that the sky was almost obscured by the canopy above.

    ¡°Can we stop?¡± I asked Kev.

    ¡°We don¡¯t stop.¡± He said.

    ¡°I had too much coffee at breakfast.¡±

    ¡°You should have thought of that before we set off.¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t need to go before we set off.¡± I pleaded. ¡°I have a tiny body now, okay? Tiny bladder.¡± I looked up at him with a pouty expression, cranking my new uber cuteness up to eleven.

    ¡°Just hop off and go by the side of the road.¡± He pointed ahead, past the horses.

    We were approaching the top of the first hill, it was a steep climb, so it was slow going. At the peak of the hill two rock faces rose up, one on each side of The Imperial Highway. Each was about fifteen feet tall.

    ¡°It¡¯s not like you can¡¯t catch up.¡±

    I growled and hopped down. I folded my arms and glared at him, stamping my foot on the ground. He smiled with a little laugh. I stood aside while the cart passed. It was heading up towards the crest of the hill we had been climbing for the past half hour or so. I skipped a couple of steps to get around the large pillar rock by the road.

    ¡°You okay?¡±

    ¡°Whoa!¡± I spun around, startled, to see Heather standing there. ¡°Who¡¯s the sneaky one now?¡±

    ¡°Sorry,¡± she said, her face lined with concern. ¡°I saw you hop off and just wanted to make sure you¡¯re all right.¡±

    ¡°I just have to pee.¡±

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you go before we left?¡±

    ¡°I have a tiny elf bladder, okay?¡± I said, exasperated. ¡°I¡¯m still not used to it.¡±

    I stepped off the road and unequipped my lower armor, muttering, ¡°Jesus, people¡­¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± Heather said, her tone a little wounded. ¡°Sorry.¡± She turned and jogged back toward the wagon.

    I squatted behind a rock, relief washing over me as I emptied the last of the morning¡¯s coffee.

    BAM!

    The explosion was like a thunderclap, leaving a ringing in my ears as I staggered, still squatting. Two more blasts followed in quick succession¡ªBAM! BAM! Smoke filled the air. Heart racing, I hurriedly re-equipped my lower armor and peeked around the rock.

    The wagon lay overturned at the top of the hill, flames licking at the straw in its bed. Smoke billowed, and the horses screamed in panic, their reins tangling as they tried to bolt. Gem and the boys had spilled out onto the road.

    Jinx was clutching his arm, cursing through gritted teeth. Kev stood with his hammer at the ready, eyes scanning for threats. Gem leaped into the air and bounced from rock to rock, her weapon flashing as sparks and fire began to rain down from above.

    Before I could react, half a dozen men jumped down from the rocky outcrops flanking the road. Some brandished swords and crude weapons, while others raised their hands, magic shimmering in the air as they chanted incantations. Others stood up on top of the spires, brandishing bows.

    More explosions tore through the scene, filling the highway with dense, choking smoke. I lost sight of my friends, and it looked like nobody knew I was back here.

    The sounds of chaos intensified¡ªshouted warnings and threats mingled with the clash of steel and the crackle of magic. Flashes of blue and green light pierced the thick smoke, casting eerie shadows on the carnage.

    I looked toward Heather. She stood frozen in the middle of the road, her wide eyes locked on the chaos unfolding above.

    I activated Stealth, slipping into the shadow of the trees as I started making my way up the hill. My priority was to reach Heather and snap her out of it. I needed to get her into cover and safety. After that, I could try to figure out what the hell was happening. I could hear Kev bellowing something about the gods.

    As I crept closer, hugging the stone for cover, a piercing scream ripped through the air. It was Heather.

    ¡°Got one!¡± a man with a rough voice yelled out. ¡°It¡¯s a Priestess!¡±

    I stayed hidden, pressed tightly into my spot, but the sounds of a struggle reached me from the road. Heather was fighting someone. The ripping of fabric cut through the air, followed by a muffled cry.

    Peeking around the edge of the stone, I spotted her. She was face down on the road, her robe torn and hanging loosely, exposing a bare shoulder.

    A man loomed over her, pinning her with his weight. His mismatched leather armor and helmet obscured the upper half of his face, leaving only a grizzled jaw and a sneer of yellow, crooked teeth visible. He was saying something to her, low and guttural, as he wrestled to clasp manacles onto her wrists. Heather squirmed beneath him, her struggle desperate but overpowered by his size and strength.

    I didn¡¯t hesitate. Pulling my short sword into my right hand and readying a dagger in my left, I moved silently into position. A backstab would double the damage I could deal, and with a well-aimed strike to his neck, I could triple that. Enough to kill him outright¡ªor at least incapacitate him long enough to grab Heather and run.

    Step by step, I crept closer, keeping an ear tuned to the fight by the wagon, and my eyes locked on Heather¡¯s attacker. To her credit, the priestess wasn¡¯t giving in. Her arms flailed wildly, keeping him from locking the chains into place.

    Two more steps, and I was directly behind him. I raised my sword high, my grip steady, and brought it down hard on the back of his neck. The blade met bone with a sickening crack.

    BACKSTAB ATTACK ON PRESS GANG MEMBER

    12 POINTS DAMAGE WITH SHORT SWORD

    X2 BACKSTAB DAMAGE

    X3 CRITICAL WEAKNESS DAMAGE

    72VP DAMAGE TO SPINAL CORD OF PRESS GANG MEMBER

    YOU HAVE DEALT CRITICAL DAMAGE TO PRESS GANG MEMBER

    PRESS GANG MEMBER PARALYZED

    He collapsed on top of Heather as he cried out. I brought the dagger down hard below the shoulder blade with all my strength, aiming for the gap in the armor. It sunk to the hilt.

    BACKSTAB ATTACK ON PRESS GANG MEMBER

    6 POINTS DAMAGE WITH DAGGER

    X2 BACKSTAB DAMAGE

    X3 CRITICAL WEAKNESS DAMAGE

    36VP DAMAGE TO RIGHT LUNG OF PRESS GANG MEMBER

    YOU HAVE DEALT CRITICAL DAMAGE TO PRESS GANG MEMBER

    Hmm, I thought, Not dead. I grabbed him by the left shoulder and yanked him over, rolling him off Heather.

    ¡°Let¡¯s go,¡± I whispered in her ear.

    She pushed herself onto her hands and knees, struggling to rise. I grabbed her arm to help her to her feet. Before I could steady her, something, or someone, twice my weight barreled into me from behind and to the left. Heather let out a sharp yelp, and I might have shouted something too, but the impact knocked all sense from me.

    I was thrown clear of her, tumbling across the rough dirt road. My head smacked the ground more times than I could count, and I finally came to a jarring stop against the stone pillar I had hidden behind earlier. Pain lanced down my spine as I hit, though I managed to keep my skull from slamming into the rock. Yay for small victories.

    ¡°¡¯Nother one!¡± a harsh, strained voice barked out. There was no reply. ¡°Looks like an Elf. Tiny one.¡±

    Gritting my teeth, I fumbled for a healing potion from my bandolier. The cork popped free with a satisfying thunk, and I downed the contents in a single gulp. The tang of mango juice hit my tongue, and I felt the warm, soothing tingle as my VP bar began creeping back up. Clarity followed, sharpening my senses. Fear lingered at the edge of my mind, but something stronger was taking hold¡ªa surge of adrenaline, a fire in my veins. This body of mine was ready to make some moves.

    Heather was recovering too. She crouched low, her wide eyes fixed on me. Scared but resolute, she was playing weak, staying unnoticed for now. Smart.

    Backstab Guy wasn¡¯t doing as well. He lay sprawled on the ground, sobbing for his mother. The stench of shit and urine was already wafting from him. Not my proudest moment, but when in Murder World...

    The other one though¡ªhe was the real problem. A hulking brute, towering and broad-shouldered, his glare locked onto me, and his lips curled up as he growled. Without a word, he reached for his belt and drew two wicked-looking hatchets, the blades gleaming.

    ¡°Not here to kill you, elf,¡± he rasped, his voice low and coarse like boots scraping over dry gravel. ¡°Not here to kill anybody.¡±

    He was tall and broad, maybe two-fifty, but his look screamed laborer, not soldier. No armor, just a stained leather apron over a tunic and pants. His greasy brown hair was slicked back, collar-length, and matched a short, tangled beard that framed his scowl. He looked like a damn carpenter.

    ¡°But I¡¯ll break you into a dozen pieces if I have to,¡± he added with a sneer.

    I sized him up, my thoughts drifting to the orcs I¡¯d fought before. He wasn¡¯t as big as an orc, and judging by his stance, he was not much smarter either. If I could keep him moving and wear him down, I¡¯d have the advantage. Yeah, that sounded like a good roguish tactic.

    I took two deep breaths¡ªone to smother the rising panic, the other to shove away the fear¡ªand summoned my second short sword and another dagger. I sprang to my feet, bouncing lightly, ready to dance.

    He charged, one hatchet cocked back to strike, the other raised defensively. Clumsy. Predictable. I darted to his left, slashing with my blade as I moved. The edge bit into his thigh, a satisfying spray of blood following the arc.

    ¡°Gods!¡± he snarled, staggering slightly. I didn¡¯t give him time to recover. I leaped to his right, slashing my dagger across his back as I moved past, feeling the resistance as it slid through his flesh. The notifications blinked in my peripheral vision but, thankfully, didn¡¯t get in the way.

    He grunted, spun faster than I expected, and swung the hatchet down in a vicious arc. I twisted at the last second, and the blade glanced off my chest armor, the impact sending me sprawling. I tumbled across the ground, and my breath was knocked out of me.

    Before I could get to my feet, he was towering over me, hatchet raised again. This time, he flipped it to bring the blunt end crashing down toward my face. I rolled, dirt grinding into my side, and he stumbled as his weight shifted onto his wounded leg.

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna like hurting you,¡± he growled, his voice dripping with malice. He stomped toward me as I rolled again, his movements uneven, each step a struggle to keep his balance. ¡°Got a whole night to enjoy it too.¡±

    I managed a quick tumble, landing back on my feet with surprising grace. Facing him again, I stole a glance at Heather. She was still on the ground, recovering from the blow that had sent me flying. Her wide eyes locked onto me paralyzed with fear. Move, Goddamn it! I wanted to yell, but I had no time.

    Fighting someone with weapons wasn¡¯t my usual game come to think of it, fighting wasn¡¯t really my game. But still, his movements seemed basic enough. I think he relied on big and strong. He swung his hatchets wildly left, then right, then left again. He was strong and fast, but I was quicker, reacting on instinct. Metal clanged against metal as I parried each strike, but his relentless attacks drove me backward. I retreated carefully, keeping my footing, each step measured.

    My dexterity was the only thing keeping me alive. I could almost sense where his next move would land before he even swung, but it wasn¡¯t enough. I wasn¡¯t gaining ground. I could feel it¡ªI wasn¡¯t winning.

    Then his sluggish movements began to quicken, and dread coiled in my stomach as the truth hit me: he was healing himself. Every wound I¡¯d inflicted was vanishing right before my eyes. All that effort, gone. Back to square one.

    He let out a snort and lunged at me, his hatchet arcing down in the same predictable way. I parried the strike with ease and seized the opening, ramming my left shoulder into his armpit. With a sharp thrust, I drove my dagger deep into his side, feeling the blade bite through flesh. His scream of pain was guttural and raw, and I knew I¡¯d hit something vital.

    It was time to end this. I left the dagger buried in his side and gripped my short sword with both hands, raising it for a decisive blow aimed at his head.

    But somehow, he spun around at the last second. I tried to get back behind him, but his hatchet came swinging toward my neck. Desperately, I moved to block with my sword, but he changed his swing mid-strike, slamming the blunt end into my hand instead.

    Agony exploded through my fingers as they shattered under the force of the blow. It felt like being struck by a hammer. I cried out, my vision flashing red as the pain shot up my arm, threatening to consume me.

    YOU HAVE SUFFERED BLUNT FORCE TRAMA TO THE RIGHT HAND AND FINGERS.

    11 POINTS DAMAGE TO HAND AND FINGERS.

    YOU HAVE SUFFERED CRITICAL DAMAGE TO THE RIGHT INDEX AND MIDDLE FINGERS.

    It was excruciating, worse than anything I ever felt before. I lost the sword, broken fingers not great at holding things. I took to step back to regather, but he moved too fast, pressing his advantage. I kept my eyes on him, again, he swung the thing at me, blunt edge only. He really didn¡¯t want to kill me. I thought. I didn¡¯t really want to test the theory, though. The dagger in his side had fallen out, but I didn¡¯t see where it was.

    I was running out of options. The panic I had breathed away was coming back with each throbbing of my broken fingers. He kept swinging and swinging. I needed to heal, to get a potion in me, so I could pick up my weapon.

    Out of nowhere, in the middle of one of his famously unoriginal attacks, he pivoted on his right foot and gave me a wicked kick in the chest. Hard. It wasn¡¯t enough to really cause any damage, but I found myself knocked back against the pillar of stone at the side of the road.

    He came down again with a hatchet. My head was rattled, and I stupidly tried to perry with my broken hand. This time, however, he twisted to the left and altered the swing, bringing the hatchet down on my open palm. The thing cleaved my hand in two, between my middle fingers and down to the wrist. Blood gushed. I screamed as he yanked the weapon out of my hand.

    ¡°You little shit.¡± He sneered, swinging his other hatchet broadside onto my temple. There was a crunch when he did that. It was not a crunch I ever wanted to hear again, and I could feel my right eye shift in its socket.

    ¡°Fucking Elves. I should fucking kill you.¡± He grabbed me by the front of the collar and yanked me, throwing me onto the road.

    I bounced onto my chest; my left arm had rolled under me, and my mangled, destroyed hand in front. It was over. I could feel it. There was nothing but pain, and what happened to my head wasn¡¯t good.

    I could feel pressure behind my misshaped eye socket. It was swelling. Something was pushing the eye out¡­

    I could only look at my bisected and demolished hand. Blood gushed onto the gravel as the world started to fade from my vision.

    But then, it all stopped. Not the world, but the gushing. A feeling of warmth entered my body. A golden glow started pushing away the darkness. The edges of my decimated hand knitted themselves back together. My eye shifted, and the swelling reversed.

    Within a second, my hand closed back up like a zipper. The fog of my mind started to clear. I looked up and saw Heather, still lying on her stomach, holding out her hand, which glowed with healing magic.

    I was about to get up when a heavy boot slammed into the small of my back, knocking the wind out of me. My chin banged onto the hardpacked surface, rattling my teeth.

    Carpenter guy quickly stepped over to Heather and kicked her hard in the face. There was the sound of a cracking bone, and she flopped over, unmoving.

    I tried to get up, but my body was still in shock, not responding; the magic that was healing me had stopped. But my hand was as good as new, and my VP was close to the top. My head was still spinning, but I was back in it.

    The dagger was just a couple of feet away, and I rolled to grab it.

    ¡°Oh, no, you fucking don¡¯t.¡± He was on me in a flash, kicking me in the head with the same ferocity as he did Heather.

    The image of his boot colliding with my face and the dagger just out of reach, lingered in my vision for what seemed an eternity, but slowly, blackness was all I could see.

 Chapter Eight: Mom would be proud; I finally got a job.

    Chapter Eight: Mom would be proud; I finally got a job.

    The world was static, with flashing lights and bleeding colors. The Whisper was shouting in my head, but she was distant and coming in snippets, broken up like an out-of-tune AM radio.

    N W# U T:

    &S#C E&F M T*E S AV CA#P

    %%%%%%%%%%@@@@@

    *********FI&&&&24&&&&##

    The words appeared in white Helvetica on a black background, or was it Arial? But they weren¡¯t words, really; letters dropped out. My brain wasn¡¯t right, and the garbled crap in my vision reflected it. A picture of a large, ugly boot was in my face now, the last thing I saw.

    But it wasn¡¯t. I focused, thinking about my time on the road. Memories came back. It was all just still images, mostly of the Carpenter beating me savagely and yelling. I could remember my face getting punched over and over, even though I couldn¡¯t move. I¡¯m sure there was a kick or five to the ribs with the beatdown.

    So yeah, that happened. I was lucky I was pretty much a vegetable at the time, thank God. But now, it was coming back. VP recovers over time; my brain must have been rewiring itself enough for me to start thinking again. I now had synapses ¡®o plenty to enjoy the pain and PTSD. Fuck this shit.

    I wasn¡¯t sure what the worst part was: the pounding in my skull, the fiery ache in my side with every shallow breath, or the screaming protest of my wrists and hands. My body had taken a beating, and it made sure I knew it.

    I stirred, wincing as I cracked open my eyes.

    ¡°Thank the Goddess,¡± Heather whispered, her voice shaky and slurred. ¡°Regan, don¡¯t move.¡±

    Regan Obliged.

    Perfect. Moving wasn¡¯t something I could manage anyway. The pain in my wrists was inching its way down my arms, though, and was promising to become a bigger problem soon. I closed my eyes again, searching for the hidden joy of a throbbing Pink Floyd Laser Light Show projected on the inside of my eyelids.

    ¡°Why?¡± I croaked. Talking hurt, but curiosity won out over self-preservation.

    ¡°The guard,¡± she murmured. ¡°He¡¯s¡­ waiting for you to wake up.¡± She hesitated, then corrected herself, her voice hitching. ¡°They¡­They¡¯re waiting.¡±

    That wasn¡¯t good. Pain took a step aside for a little bit for terror to twist its virtual dagger in my gut.

    I pried my eyelids open again, this time slower, letting the scene come into focus. Cage or crate? That was the burning question my pain-addled brain decided to fixate on. The hard wooden walls reeked of sweat and dust, closing us in on all sides except for a metal door with bars that said cage louder than crate. The space was maybe three and a half feet tall and six feet wide¡ªjust enough for two bodies to fit without touching. Cozy: if your idea of cozy includes suffocation.

    Above me, my hands were chained, locked in manacles the width of my wrist bones, suspended from an ¡°O¡± ring bolted to the ceiling. Fantastic. My arms were going numb, but on the bright side, that was one less area of active pain.

    Outside, it was dark. My lights had gone out at high noon, but night had fully set in now. I could see well enough with elf vision through the bars. Across a small empty field, a canvas tent glowed faintly from the firelight sputtering in a small pit. A lone figure sat by the flames, his back to us¡ªclassic bad-guy camping pose.

    I tried accessing my storage inventory, desperate for even a scrap of help, but I just got a face full of old-school TV static.

    Honestly? The cage or crate debate was starting to feel important. Call it distraction therapy.

    ¡°Why can¡¯t I examine my inventory?¡±

    ¡°The shackles,¡± She whispered. ¡°They inhibit magic.¡± Then she moaned. ¡°You need to stay quiet. They want to rape you when you wake up.¡±

    I finally looked over at her, and my heart fucking sank. Heather had been beaten badly. Granted, it was not as bad as me, but it was bad enough to make my stomach churn. Her right eye was swollen shut, the bone around it misshapen from a kick hard enough to crack her eye socket. I knew how that felt, I wish I didn¡¯t, though.

    A jagged gash split her scalp, and the right side of her face and hair were caked with blood. Her robe was torn open to the waist, her undergarments disheveled but mercifully intact. She hung limply, all the poise and grace of a priestess stripped away. She couldn¡¯t even hold her head up. Blood and tears streaked her cheeks, cutting paths through the grime like cruel reminders of her suffering.

    The sight of her broke something in me. My own pain vanished in the shadow of hers. She was so beautiful, and seeing her like this was¡­I wanted to cry for her¡ªno, I wanted to scream for her.

    ¡°Oh fuck,¡± The state of her robes just hit me. ¡°Did they...?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Heather said. ¡°I¡¯m a priestess of Amania; other than kicking me around, they won¡¯t touch me.¡±

    ¡°You don¡¯t sound so happy about that.¡± I groaned, fighting off the urge to throw up.

    ¡°They¡¯re slavers,¡± Heather said. ¡°We¡¯re just the merchandise. You¡¯re more valuable in a brothel, but no one cares what happens to you before you arrive.¡± She coughed dryly. ¡°They told me someone from the Church of Granvul up north would pay a good price for a Priestess of Amania, however, especially one that¡¯s a virgin.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t suppose they just want you to sweep up around the place?¡±

    "I don¡¯t know, maybe, for a day or two.¡± She grinned, not a pretty site with her swollen lip. ¡°But mostly, I¡¯ll be defiled on a sacrificial altar and then stabbed through the heart so their god can have his way with my soul for all eternity.¡±

    ¡°All kinds of bad in there. What about Gem and the others.?¡±

    ¡°Shhh,¡± Heather whispered. The guard was returning. I closed my eyes. I could hear footsteps crunching on pine needles outside the cage.

    ¡°Our little snack¡¯s not awake yet?¡± said the man. He had a nasal voice like he had a pinched nose. Maybe it was broken and not set right. He also had a slight whistle when he breathed. ¡°Give ¡®er a kick.¡±

    Heather weakly kicked me on the hip, and I made my best ragdoll impression.

    ¡°The boys are gettin¡¯ anxious.¡± He leaned close to the cage door. ¡°Maybe if she doesn¡¯t come around soon, we might each take a turn with you.¡± Heather didn¡¯t reply. He turned around with a Hmf! and walked away.

    ¡°He¡¯s a keeper.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry,¡± Heather cried quietly. ¡°I should have run, and then you wouldn¡¯t have to come to help me.¡±

    ¡°Not now,¡± I said, leaning up. ¡°We only have a couple of minutes.¡± I took stock of what I had. They had ripped the bandolier and magic ring off. Predictable. Leaving me in my armor, boots, and, most importantly, my belt. Things were looking up. ¡°I need you to help me get my belt off.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°Trust me,¡± I said, painfully moving onto my knees and pushing my hips towards her. ¡°It¡¯s a rogue thing, come on.¡±

    ¡°How?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± I shout-whispered. ¡°Teeth, toes, whatever, just hurry!¡±

    Heather tried vainly to bend over, but that didn¡¯t work. So, she started working the belt off with her feet. Even though she never wore shoes, her feet were always immaculate. Why that observation was kicking around in my head at the moment was a mystery to me.

    ¡°Shit,¡± I said, admiring her as she worked the leather between her toes, tugging the hole away from the prong. ¡°Is it wrong that I find this a bit of a turn-on?¡±

    ¡°Not really. Perverts like you like this gross stuff.¡± She pinched her toes and pulled while I wiggled my hips to loosen it from the loops. ¡°If none of this works, you need to take my virginity.¡±

    ¡°So, you can be a whore instead of being sacrificed?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d rather be a whore for a lifetime than a whore for eternity to the God of Domination.¡±

    ¡°Yikes,¡± I whispered. ¡°Pass it up here.¡± I waved my right hand. I had been holding it up, taking my weight off it. I worked out the pins and needles while she worked on the belt. ¡°Of course, it would be hard to do that if we¡¯re all chained up.¡±

    She pulled the end of the belt up to my right hand with her foot. I grasped it and shuffled it until I reached the middle. Thankfully, my hand was healed from having been bisected on the road by the Carpenter; otherwise, this would have been impossible.

    ¡°Thank you, by the way,¡± I whispered. ¡°For healing me on the road.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m as good as my word. What are you doing?¡±

    ¡°Rogue shit.¡± I smiled. ¡°Funny thing about storage devices...¡±

    I reached into a small leather flap on my belt and pulled out one of my lock picks. I instinctually knew how to use them from my starter kit skills but had not actually had the opportunity to practice. I wriggled the pick around in the left shackle, looking for the lever.

    ¡°People just assume that you keep everything in storage for security...¡± I wriggled the first hub, then the second hub. I alternated between each one. ¡°...Ideally...¡± I muttered as I felt myself stray off-topic. ¡°...I¡¯d have two of these, but the other one is in my boot.¡±

    The lock clicked, and the manacle released. ¡°Stash a hot item or two in a place nobody will think to search.¡±

    ¡°I will never talk ill of Rogues again.¡± She whispered.

    ¡°So, do you still want me to take your virginity?¡±

    ¡°Maybe.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯ll take maybe.¡± I pulled my foot up. ¡°It¡¯s progress.¡±

    I kicked off my boot and grabbed the other pick. I placed it in my right hand and started working the manacle. Then, I used the pick in my left hand on the hole and released it in half the time.

    The Whisperer was anything but quiet in my head as she shouted:

    NEW QUEST:

    ESCAPE FROM CAPTIVITY

    You¡¯ve just had your ass handed to you. And now you are in a cage surrounded by twelve nasty men who want to do horrible things to you before selling you to more men who will want to do even more horrible things to you.

    THIS QUEST CANNOT BE DECLINED.

    To complete the quest, you must:

    <ol>

    <li>Escape from this cage.</li>

    <li>Escape from this camp.</li>

    </ol>

    Rewards:

    Freedom is its own reward.

    A wall of notifications ran down my vision. I ignored them, pulling a health potion out of my storage. I uncapped it and held it up to Heather¡¯s lips.

    ¡°Turnabout is fair play. And you¡¯re way too pretty to have a nasty swollen eye.¡±

    Heather sipped it down; she winced as the bone around her eye shifted and the swelling went down.

    Gem: By the gods! Are you okay?

    Regan: They have us in magic-suppressing restraints. I just got mine off. Where are you?

    Gem: I got away after the initial attack and followed the gang to the camp. I¡¯m in a tree, ready to strike.

    Regan: Where are the others?

    Gem: You are all parked in wagons beside a small fire pit. I can see the whole camp from here.

    Regan: I¡¯ll get back to you in a minute.

    ¡°Gem¡¯s okay,¡± I told Heather. ¡°She got away during the ambush. She says there¡¯s another cage next to ours. The boys are probably in it. I can¡¯t open this door, though. The lock¡¯s on the other side.¡±

    I unequipped my bloody and beaten-up armor and equipped the dark stealth armor I got with the starter kit.

    ¡°We need him to open it.¡±

    ¡°So, act like you woke up.¡± She suggested.

    ¡°He might bring his friends, and you saw how I am in a fair fight. I suck. We need him to just open it up enough to peek in.¡±

    Regan: Let me know when the guard comes back.

    Gem: Okay, sure. Nothing yet.

    ¡°I do have a question,¡± I whispered to her. I slipped back over to her side and started unlocking her manacles.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Do you need to be a virgin for The Church of Purity, or is that a personal choice?¡±

    ¡°As a priestess,¡± She whispered. ¡°I have sworn to live a virtuous life.¡±

    ¡°Not the same thing as being a virgin.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± She was getting irritated. ¡°But climbing into bed anytime you get the urge is not helpful.¡±

    ¡°So, you can be virtuous without being a virgin then?¡±

    ¡°Yes. Why the fuck are we talking about this?¡±

    ¡°Did you just say ¡®Fuck¡¯?¡± I opened her left manacle and then the right.

    ¡°Yes, I did. What¡¯s the matter with you?¡±

    ¡°Hold your hands up and just keep these closed around your wrists so it looks like they¡¯re still locked.¡±

    ¡°Okay, fine. Again, why this right now?¡±

    ¡°Because I¡¯m scared shitless.¡± I was trying to hold back what was looking to be a collapse.

    ¡°I want to talk about something to take my mind off how close I am to being raped and murdered or worse.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± she whispered.

    ¡°Also,¡± I continued. ¡°I get turned on pretty much all the time. Every second of every fucking day since I got here, I just want to jump someone.¡±

    ¡°Oh boy.¡±

    ¡°And you are so beautiful. And even now, I just want to slide over there and finish pulling that robe off you.¡±

    "Okay." Heather raised her hands slightly, a defensive gesture. "We can talk about this later, I promise."

    She scooted closer and gently pulled me into a hug, careful not to aggravate my injuries.

    "May the Goddess bless you," she whispered in my ear. "May her grace flow through you, cleansing your body and soul."

    A warm glow enveloped me. Panic flared as I worried the guard might notice, but the soothing magic of her healing power worked through me, mending what was broken in both mind and body. My VP bar climbed steadily, moving from one-third to full. For a brief moment, I felt safe and whole.

    Gem: He just got up.

    ¡°Shit,¡± I pushed Heather back, moved into the opposite corner, and activated Stealth. ¡°Don¡¯t say anything.¡± I summoned Sick Stick. ¡°Let him talk himself into opening the door.¡±

    ¡°Sure thing,¡± She said.

    Regan: Be ready to drop his ass, but only when I tell you.

    Gem: Understood.

    ¡°How¡¯s the snack?¡±

    Heather sat silently, her face turned away, hiding her newly healed eye from the guard. I was impressed with her performance.

    The guard pressed his face up to the bars. He was human, clad in scale armor and a helmet that masked most of his face. ¡°Fuck,¡± he said. ¡°Where that little whore go?¡±

    Heather was motionless, not responding, keeping her arms up and face turned away.

    ¡°Answer, you bitch, or I¡¯ll break your other eye!¡±

    He gripped the bars of the door and shook it. It looked like the cage was about chest-high on him. I wondered if an arrow would kill him with his armor.

    The alternative was for Gem to kill him and sneak into the camp. She¡¯s good, but it would be better for me to be the one sneaking around, and it would be a tragedy if she were captured.

    To my relief, there was a rattling of keys as he pulled out his ring and fumbled for the right one. He inserted it with a grunt. And turned the key, unlocking the door.

    ¡°Gonna find out what the fuck is going on.¡± He pulled it open.

    Regan: NOW!

    Thwip! One of Gem¡¯s arrows landed squarely in his back. Just as he was about to cry out, I leaped through the door and jammed Sick Stick deep into his shoulder. He toppled backward, the arrow snapping as he collided with the ground.

    13 vp damage to CAMP GUARD.

    CAMP GUARD SUFFERS STUN DEBUFF

    TIME REMAINING: 3 SECONDS

    CAMP GUARD SUFFERS TILT A HURL DEBUFF

    TIME REMAINING: 5 SECONDS

    I landed on top of him, straddling his chest. I pinned him to the ground by the arms with my knees. His head was rolling around from the debuffs.

    ¡°Saw something like this on Breaking Bad,¡± I whispered to him.

    Vomit spewed into his mouth, but I shoved my hands under his helmet. I pinched his nose with one hand and clamped my other over his mouth. They were wedged between his face and the metal, trapping everything in. I pressed down with all my weight. I was thankful for being a Half-Elf and having tiny little hands.

    ¡°Sad, really, she was a mess, but Jane was definitely my type.¡±

    He spasmed and jerked but didn¡¯t struggle. The drowning seemed to disconnect his mind from his body, and he flopped helplessly underneath me.

    After a few seconds, all movement stopped when he passed out. I kept my grip on him. Then, there was shuddering as the dying flesh tried to expel the fluid from the lungs. After a half dozen scrolling damage notifications, the final notice came. I could see his eyes staring upward through the narrow slits in the helmet, seeing nothing.

    YOU HELPED DEFEAT CAMP GUARD.

    +237xp

    CORPSE:

    CAMP GUARD.

    LOOTABLE ITEMS:

    MEDIUM QUALITY SCALE ARMOR AND HELMET

    SMALL HAND WHIP

    CAMP GUARD KEYS

    STORAGE RING (LOCKED TO OWNER)

    A NOTE FROM SVEN

    7GP

    13SP

    27CP

    DO YOU WANT TO LOOT?

    ¡°Fuck!¡± I whispered, crawling backward until I bumped into the wagon wheel. ¡°Oh, Jesus¡¯s mother fucking...fuck...shit.¡± Tears ran down my cheeks as I pulled my knees up and hugged them. What the fuck just happened? I killed him. I fucking killed him, and I acted like a goddamn TV psychopath when I did it.

    Swinging an axe at an orc was one thing, but holding a lung full of vomit in a man¡¯s mouth so he choked to death was some Dexter-level shit.

    ¡°Regan.¡± It was Heather. She was leaning out of the cage door.

    ¡°Regan.¡± She repeated more sternly when I didn¡¯t reply. ¡°We have to get moving.¡±

    ¡°I know,¡± I said quietly. But I didn¡¯t move from the spot. I needed a minute. Just a little fucking time to process all this shit. I looked over at Mr. Camp Guard. The loot notification was still hanging in the air. I gritted my teeth.

    ¡°Everything¡¯s peachy. I¡¯m just feeling my feelings.¡±

    Heather climbed down out of the cart and onto the ground at my side. ¡°This is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure it will.¡±

    DO YOU WANT TO LOOT?

    ¡°So, you need to shelve what you¡¯re feeling right now until we are out of this.¡±

    ¡°Fuck.¡± I pointed at the guard. ¡°I thought he was a keeper. But he just turned out to be another rapist asshole.¡±

    ¡°And we are right in the middle of a camp of them.¡± Heather stood up and looked around.

    She was right. I mean, of course, she was. I was the new kid. She and the others lived with this kind of stuff. But damn.

    ¡°Get down.¡± I snarled, sliding over to the guard. ¡°You don¡¯t want anyone seeing you.¡± I selected Yes, and his armor and everything else moved into storage. ¡°Help me throw him in the wagon.¡±

    QUEST UPDATE:

    ESCAPE FROM CAPTIVITY

    You have escaped from the cage.

    We lifted the guard, a one-hundred-and-sixty-pound sack of human shit, into the cart. I slipped Sick Stick under the fabric and cut off his underwear, leaving him completely nude, and then closed the door.

    He was middle-aged and had a pasty, dirty body that looked like he had lived a hard life. And now he¡¯s a pile of meat in a cage.

    ¡°And what is the point of that?¡± Heather asked.

    ¡°They treat us like animals, strip us, and lock us in cages. Like I said, turnabout is fair play.¡±

    ¡°What do we do now?¡±

    I suddenly remembered the note in the camp guard¡¯s pocket and pulled it out:

    Jenner and Co,

    Handoff: Third Caedasin of Funa at Twin Boulder Pass.

    500gp/head

    Bonuses for Clergy, Skilled Workers, and Exotics.

    The boss will not accept dwarves; they are not profitable.

    See you then, happy hunting.

    Sven

    ¡°Hey, Heather,¡± I whispered.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°What¡¯s the third Caedasin of Funa?¡±

    ¡°Tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Tomorrow is the third Caedasin of Funa.¡± She audibly sighed. ¡°It¡¯s the day of the month.¡± I really needed to know this stuff. I had a quest and everything.

    ¡°Oh...¡± ...Piece it together, Regan... ¡°...fuck.¡±

    ¡°What.¡±

    ¡°The main group is coming here tomorrow.¡±

    ¡°Not the best news.¡±

    Regan: Can you see the whole camp from up there?

    Gem: Yes. There are four tents. The one by the fire pit doesn¡¯t have anyone in it. The other three have one guard on watch and three sleeping in each. They have the carts, plus a carriage parked off to the side with four horses. I don¡¯t think there¡¯s anybody over there.

    Regan: Do the guards have a line of sight on each other?

    Gem: It looks like two can see each other. The third one is sitting on the far side of the furthest tent to the right, so he¡¯s out of site.

    Regan: Can you remove either of the two that can see each other?

    Gem: Of course I can.

    Regan: Are those tents facing this one?

    Gem: No, they are facing the road.

    Regan: Standby for now. I¡¯m gonna get Jinx and Kev. Heather is stashed away safely.

    I followed Heather¡¯s advice and shoved it down, locking the panic away. I counted down from ten in my mind. That was all the time I could afford to give myself. I willed the revulsion to settle and forced the adrenaline to simmer down. Focus. Take stock. I¡¯d killed one man. I could do it again.

    My friends and I might not survive the night if I didn''t.This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.

    The camp was still quiet. No alarm was raised. The others were still locked up. Eleven more people stood between us and safety. Eleven.

    I replayed Gem¡¯s briefing in my head, arranging the pieces like a grim chessboard: three sentries, nine sleeping men, three tents. It was straightforward, in theory. In practice, it was a mess waiting to happen.

    I couldn¡¯t stop the comparison: this felt like Hitman. That game had driven me up the wall with its puzzles. Carefully timed actions and precise movements, with no room for error. Except now, instead of pixelated guards, there were real men with, like, actual weapons. And instead of reloading a save after screwing up¡­well... Don¡¯t screw up.

    No pressure.

    ¡°Hey, boys,¡± I whispered into the cage next to ours. Jinx was there, covered in cuts and bruises, and so was Kev, equally battered. He took up more than half the cart with his enormous size.

    ¡°Holy shite, love,¡± Jinx whispered back. ¡°We ''eard somethin'' ''appenin'' over there, thank the gods it¡¯s just you. Get us outta these fucking things.¡±

    ¡°On it,¡± I unlocked the door with the guard¡¯s key. ¡°We need to take out this team before we can escape.¡±

    ¡°They outnumber us by three to one,¡± Kev whispered.

    ¡°If we just run,¡± Jinx said. ¡°They¡¯ll chase us down.¡±

    ¡°But we can¡¯t just beat them based on numbers alone.¡±

    ¡°We kinda have to do it.¡± I was trying to keep my voice down. ¡°The rest of the crew is coming tomorrow. We need to get as much space between us and them as we can tonight. We can¡¯t do that if these fuckers are chasing us.¡±

    I pulled off Jinx¡¯s manacles and then Kev¡¯s before handing him my prybar. ¡°Pull those things out of there. I want them.¡±

    ¡°They¡¯re illegal.¡± He protested.

    ¡°Uh, yeah, Kev. And I want them.¡±

    He grunted, pulled out the two sets of manacles, and handed them to me along with the pry bar. He then awkwardly squeezed himself through the tiny cage door and thudded on the ground next to Jinx, whose arm hung limp and was covered in blood.

    ¡°Here,¡± Heather whispered, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. Healing magic rushed into their bodies and out through the bruises and cuts in the form of golden light. They both gasped as all the damage done to them vanished in less than a second.

    ¡°Send my thanks to your Goddess, love,¡± Jinx said, moving his arm in a circle and getting the stiffness out. ¡°And thank you.¡±

    ¡°My pleasure.¡± She replied.

    ¡°Get under the cart and stay there until one of us gets you,¡± I told her. She started to protest. ¡°You want to start doing the shit I just did?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m a healer.¡± She hissed. ¡°Of course I don¡¯t.¡±

    ¡°She¡¯s Right,¡± Kev said. ¡°Being in the last place they will look is your best option.¡±

    ¡°Gem is stationed up in a tree and has eyes on the whole camp.¡± I led them away from the carts and towards the empty tent. ¡°Most of the gang is bedded down.¡± Except for the ones that want to rape me. I almost said out loud.

    ¡°So, we attack them in their sleep then,¡± Jinx suggested.

    ¡°That¡¯s the easy part of the plan. The big hiccup is that they¡¯re in three separate tents. With a guard on each.¡±

    ¡°Running still off the table?¡± Kev asked.

    I rearranged all the pieces in my head again. Two guards together. We couldn¡¯t just kill one of them; the other could alert the rest. Kill them simultaneously, sure, but the third guy might hear something. All he has to do is look around the corner, and we¡¯re boned.

    ¡°Gem and I will take out the guards.¡± I hesitated momentarily; I needed a beat before making the most insane statement of my entire life. ¡°And then I¡¯ll take out the sleeping ones.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s insane,¡± Kev said.

    ¡°No,¡± Jinx said. ¡°No bleedin'' way are you goin'' into them tents on yer own!¡±

    ¡°Well, I don¡¯t think Mr. Giant Hammer and Mr. Lightning can exactly sneak in there and get the job done. These bastards are hardcore. They took us out in less than what? Two minutes. Even if we can beat them, I don¡¯t want any of us to get killed in the process.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re not going in there and slitting nine throats.¡± Kev protested.

    ¡°I was thinking more of a blade to the heart, nice and quick.¡±

    I stood up on my tip toes at Kev. ¡°This is dumb. We need to move. They¡¯re waiting for¡­me.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    I grabbed Kev by the arm, my grip tighter than I realized. ¡°Kev, they¡¯re waiting for me to wake up,¡± I said, forcing him to meet my eyes.

    For the love of God, get there, Kev! He was not processing.

    ¡°Do you understand? They want me to wake up so they can R-dash-dash-dash me.¡±

    ¡°Oh,¡± Kev stepped back. ¡°Yeah.¡± The light finally flickered on in his head. ¡°Gods.¡± He broke eye contact and looked away.

    There was a lot of not making eye contact for a moment. Deep breaths.

    ¡°I guess...I can just do two of the tents.¡± I felt like I was negotiating with a ten-year-old over how many pieces of candy we could each have. ¡°Okay? You two can handle the last one. Go crazy if you want.¡±

    The three of us sneaked over to the empty tent. The thing had a large chest on one side, an old-school round top, like a proper loot chest. If I didn¡¯t just get the ever-loving shit beat out of me earlier today, I would have been jazzed as hell to see it. A cot was in one corner, and a table with glassware, a small burner, and several ingredient jars were in the opposite one.

    ¡°Alchemy,¡± Jinx looked at me with a nod. ¡°Let¡¯s see what this bloke was into.¡± He headed over and started poking at the containers.

    I squatted down next to the chest and examined it. It was about two feet by three feet and beautifully crafted with decorative features, polished wood, and shining brass fixtures. I tried the keys on the lock and found a match.

    The dude we killed may have been ¡°Camp Guard,¡± but he had the keys to everything. As soon as it opened, an inventory screen appeared in the space over it. I didn¡¯t waste time looking at it. I just pulled the thing into my storage space.

    NULL SPACE STORAGE OVERLOAD

    YOU ARE STORING SIX NULL SPACE STORAGE DEVICES INSIDE A NULL SPACE STORAGE DEVICE INSIDE YOUR NULL SPACE STORAGE.

    YOU ARE SUFFERING VERTIGO DEBUFF UNTIL THE OVERLOAD IS CORRECTED

    TIME REMAINING: INDEFINITE.

    ¡°Fuck.¡± I collapsed to my knees. The other two rushed to my side, but I put a hand up. My head was doing somersaults as I suffered the debuff. I just had to push through all the wavey lines.

    ¡°Too many storage devices,¡± I grunted. ¡°Give me a second.¡±

    I fought the dry heaves while trying to access my inventory. Hundreds of items filled my vision, exacerbating my already suffering senses. I quickly and painfully sorted the list until I reached the personal storage items and promptly dumped them out of my inventory: four rings, a necklace, and a bracelet clattered to the tent''s floor. The debuff stopped immediately.

    ¡°That was stupid,¡± I rolled onto my back, trying to keep whatever was in my stomach down. ¡°Seriously, so fucking stupid.¡±

    ¡°That one¡¯s mine.¡± Kev picked up one of the rings. Jinx reached down and grabbed the bracelet, a clip-on gold chain that looked like someone had taken a hammer to it.

    He helped me to my feet, and I took a couple of deep breaths.

    ¡°What about the rest?¡± Jinx asked.

    ¡°Heather has one. The rest are probably from their victims.¡± Kev said, poking at the small pile of rings. ¡°They¡¯re just waiting to get them cracked by a ritualist.¡±

    ¡°Ours now,¡± I snatched them up and slipped them back into my space. Since they were no longer in the chest, the vertigo did not return. That meant I could increase my storage by adding devices to my space. Cool, I thought.

    I was letting this crap distract me, though. I needed to do some fucked up shit in a very short time.

    I plopped Camp Guard¡¯s armor down. ¡°Okay, Jinx, you need to put this on.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t wear armor, love.¡±

    ¡°Just until we clear out the sentries. Sit on the log by the fire. That¡¯s where this guy was. It should only take a couple of minutes. Kev, stay in here.¡± I pointed to the floor of the tent.

    ¡°Both of you keep an eye on Heather.¡±

    ¡°Why are you suddenly in charge?¡± Kev glared at me.

    ¡°Shhh,¡± Jinx said, holding his finger to his lips. ¡°Right now, jus¡¯ Listen to ¡®er.¡±

    ¡°Kev, this is a stealth operation. You two guys are great, but we will lose in a straight-up fight.¡± I pulled my cloak out of my storage space and slipped it on.

    ¡°After Gem and I do our thing, I want you to watch my back while I finish off the others.¡± I pulled up the hood. ¡°Tent number three is yours, so you¡¯ll get some payback.¡±

    I slipped out of the tent a second later, not waiting for his reply. Jinx was right behind, wearing the guard¡¯s armor.

    Jinx: You up for this Love?

    Regan: I already looked a man in the eye while I killed him. It was the most horrific thing I ever did or saw.

    Jinx: Sweet Jesus!

    Regan: So, yes and no. Up for it, yes. Looking forward to it, no. I am going to be very fucked up for a while.

    Jinx: Love, I¡¯m so sorry it came to this.

    Regan: I got my ass handed to me when I tried to fight fair. So, no more fighting fair. These men aren¡¯t even men, their fucking animals.

    I activated Stealth and slipped around the camp¡¯s perimeter, hugging the shadows until I reached the right-hand tent. The guard there was alone¡ªperfect. He wore the same scaled armor as his buddy but no helmet. Shaggy brown curls spilled across his forehead, making him look younger, maybe in his early twenties.

    For a second, I thought of Jinx and his grunge band back in the nineties. This guy could¡¯ve been one of his bandmates, rocking out under cheap stage lights and breaking hearts all over London. Too bad he was here being all gross and rapey.

    Shaggy sat on a little bench a few feet from the tent¡¯s side, arms folded and chin dipped to his chest. Was he asleep? It was hard to tell, and I wasn¡¯t about to test it. I took the safe route, moving in behind him.

    Stealth kept me silent, at least on the outside. Inside? I could hear every sound my body made. My heart was pounding like a kick drum, every breath sounded like a wind tunnel, and I was pretty sure I could hear the sweat rolling down my temple. It was a great skill to have, but not the best for anxiety.

    I drew in a steadying breath as I circled closer. I started my little mental timer. Counting down ten seconds in my head, I focused on him¡ªthis grungy little asshole ruining my night.

    At three, I pulled out Sick Stick. The instant it was in my hand, I felt the familiar surge of strength and dexterity. Fear was still there, coiled tight in my chest. My body was vibrating like a busted guitar amp ready to blow. But my hand? Steady. No tremble, no hesitation.

    At the count of one, I carefully reached for the man¡¯s moppy hair with my right hand. On the count of zero, I gripped hard and yanked his head back to expose his neck. In as quick a motion as I could, I reached across with the dagger and then pulled it back across his throat. Sick Stick did its thing and sliced silently through his Adam¡¯s apple and both carotids.

    BACKSTAB ATTACK ON CAMP GUARD

    12VP DAMAGE WITH SICK STICK DAGGER

    X2 BACKSTAB DAMAGE

    X3 CRITICAL WEAKNESS DAMAGE

    X3 SLEEPING ATTACK DAMAGE

    216VP DAMAGE

    SEVERE BLEED EFFECT DAMAGE

    20VP/SECOND

    SEVERE DAMAGE TO THROAT AND LARYNX

    60VP/SECOND

    CAMP GUARD SUFFERS STUN DEBUFF

    TIME REMAINING: 3 SECONDS

    CAMP GUARD SUFFERS TILT A HURL DEBUFF

    TIME REMAINING: 5 SECONDS

    I dropped the blade and gripped him by the mouth with both hands, hugging his head against me with all my strength. He scrambled and fumbled quietly, unable to scream out and too stunned to function as his body went into shock. Everything leaked out of his neck. Blood gushed from the severed arteries. Vomit and mucus spurted from his exposed trachea as he choked.

    The world was silent, but I could hear each time he struggled for air, his severed throat pulling blood and vomit into his lungs and every beat of his heart as it slowed. I could hear the rush of blood as it pushed its way out of his severed arteries.

    The damage notices ticked down. He lost more than a quarter of his life in the initial attack. And was losing one hundred Vitality Points per second after. The only sounds anyone would be able to hear were the scraping of his feet on the ground and the soft trickle of fluids as they ran down his front. Even his labored breaths were inaudible to anyone on this planet but me. He grew cold as the final notice came on:

    YOU HAVE DEFEATED CAMP GUARD.

    +500xp

    CORPSE:

    CAMP GUARD.

    LOOTABLE ITEMS:

    LOW-QUALITY SCALE ARMOR

    ONE-HANDED SWORD, MEDIUM QUALITY

    DAGGER, MEDIUM QUALITY

    CAMP GUARD KEYS

    3GP

    7SP

    19CP

    DO YOU WANT TO LOOT?

    Camp Guard. It was strange that The Whisperer didn¡¯t tell me their names. She certainly would have known who they were if she had known enough to know what they were. Then again, this shit would be harder the more I knew about this guy. I selected Yes. All of what he had, transferred to my storage space.

    I lowered his naked body to the ground silently because that was how I rolled. I picked up Sick Stick. My hands rock fucking steady the whole time. Gingerly and with abundant caution, I listened to the tent, trying to sense any disturbance inside. There was nothing, just the sound of snoozing.

    I inched around the back side until I was in position for the next one. The guard was supposed to be stationed on a bench next to the front flap of the center tent.

    I had been in stealth mode for quite a while now and decided to use a minor AP potion to top off my points. I selected it in the inventory and thought about drinking it. And surprisingly, it splashed right into my mouth, leaving an empty bottle in storage. It tasted like flat orange soda. It would have been nice if someone fucking told me I could just consume something straight from storage! I screamed in my head, hoping The Whisperer heard that and felt a little bad at least.

    I peeked around the corner, and there he was. His eyes were fixed on the moon above. It is easy to get lost in that view, I should know. He had no armor at all. Just wearing a doublet and tights. His hair was blonde and cropped short, and he was surprisingly clean-shaven for being part of a bunch of degenerates.

    With my enhanced night vision, it was plain as day, and I had to remind myself that the dim, aqua moonlight wasn''t much for most people to see with. The other guard was sitting on a similar bench, wearing only a basic tunic and pants. His armor was just a leather breastplate and some arm protection.

    Regan: Gem, will one arrow take out the guy in leather armor?

    Gem: Yeah

    Regan: On my mark.

    Gem: Ready

    I started counting down again, from Ten to Zero. I slipped around the corner in full stealth on four. Sick Stick came into my hand on three. On one, I sent word to Gem.

    Regan: Drop him.

    Gem: With pleasure.

    Thwip! I slid behind my guard as the arrow struck the forehead of Gem¡¯s. It was the same tried and true procedure. I grasped him from behind and slid my dagger across the neck. I held him close and tight, listening and feeling him die. Good times.

    DAGGER SKILL INCREASED

    Dagger: Level 2

    +1 Str +1 Dex

    You have used this weapon enough to increase your proficiency. All daggers now have an increased chance of causing damage. All daggers now inflict 1.5x damage to critical areas on successful attacks.

    Regan to Party: Okay, Boys, come on over, Gem, you too.

    Jinx: Understood.

    Kev: Understood

    Gem: Got it.

    A couple of moments later, the entire party stood before the three tents, except for  Heather, who was still hiding under the cart.

    ¡°You really don¡¯t need to do this,¡± Kev whispered.

    ¡°Then you run in there and take out nine fucking ''ardened criminals,¡± Jinx replied. ¡°This ''as nuffin to do wiv noble intentions.¡±

    ¡°You think I like this shit?¡± I held up a finger to Kev. ¡°In fourth grade, Kelly-Jo Melinski picked a fight with me because she thought I was moving in on her boyfriend. She gave me a black eye. That was my last fight before coming here. I just fucking offed two assholes, Jason Voorhees style.¡±

    ¡°I think we can win this fight.¡± Kev was right up against me and Jinx.

    ¡°You didn¡¯t win the last time,¡± Gem whispered.

    ¡°If we split up and take on a tent each, we might each get one, but the other two will be on us,¡± I said. ¡°And don¡¯t forget, I suck in a fair fight.¡±

    ¡°This is wrong,¡± Kev said, holding his hands out.

    ¡°No shit,¡± I whispered. ¡°We have to Rogue this. Cover me, just in case. Please.¡±

    I ducked into the first tent without waiting for a response, completely silent. I paused just inside to take it all in. I could see everything in the darkness like it was day. Three men lay on small cots evenly spaced in the twelve-foot-wide tent, with a small chest on the far side. All were fast asleep on their backs, completely unaware of my presence; two of them needed to be treated for sleep apnea.

    I was pretty sure I didn¡¯t need the extra kick from my vomit-inducing dagger to do this, so I pulled a regular one out. There would be less mess, anyway.

    I just moved to the cot on the left. The dude was there. He was a big guy. He looked like a bearded baby lying there. In my world, he would have looked like your typical middle-aged dad dropping you off at band practice. But in this place, it was easy to see how he could look brutish if standing over me.

    My brain was screaming as I moved the dagger into position just to the left of his sternum. My right hand held it steady by the handle. My left was on top of the hilt so I could drive it down with full force. Again, steady hands, even though the rest of me felt like a plate of Jello in Jurassic Park.

    I shoved it into his chest, halfway to the hilt. Eight inches of steel plowed through the bone and into the muscle of his heart. The notifications came and went.

    I let go of the blade and, with all the strength I could spare, I pressed down on his mouth, keeping him from crying out. He opened his eyes and tried to move, but his arms didn¡¯t know what to do. He tried to free himself from my grasp but had no chance. The heart was dead. He wouldn¡¯t pull it together in the short time he had left.

    His eyes, pale blue in my strange elf vision, glazed over. And his body went limp on the cot.

    One Down, five to go. I sighed and wrenched the dagger out of his chest. There was just a little bit of blood¡ªalmost none. Stab the heart with the nice sharp blade, and you have less of a mess to deal with. Good murder tip.

    I froze momentarily, listening to the other two men as they slumbered away. Nothing. I was happy and mortified at the same time.

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    YOU HAVE ADVANCED TWO LEVEL 2.

    +1 DEXTERITY

    +1 STRENGTH

    +1 INTELLIGENCE

    YOU MAY NOW ASSIGN 3 POINTS TO YOUR ATTRIBUTES AT ANY TIME.

    YOU HAVE ADVANCED TO LEVEL 2 ROGUE.

    NEW JOB ADDED:

    ASSASSIN: LEVEL 1

    You have killed five enlightened beings while utilizing stealth. Most people won¡¯t add that to their resume, but that unlocks the Assassin Job for you. Throughout Nya''s history, the world was shaped not by who was born but by who was killed. The cold hand of death has started or ended many wars. Be it for money, infamy, or psychotic impulse, the assassin has shaped the destinies of nations. You are now part of the dark fraternity of those who wield the tools of death with absolute precision. The Assassin Job includes the Soft Spot Benefit at Level One. New Benefits unlock every ten levels of this job.

    +1 DEXTERITY

    +1 CHARISMA

    SOFT SPOT BENEFIT UNLOCKED

    SOFT SPOT BENEFIT

    This benefit guides the assassin''s hand. The first strike outside of combat has a greater chance of hitting a critical target area.

    BACKSTAB UPGRADED TO SNEAK ATTACK: LEVEL 1

    3X DAMAGE ON ALL SNEAK ATTACKS.

    Backstab is no longer a thing. A good sucker punch will offer the same advantages. The damage is tripled as long as the attack is made by surprise to the target.

    ONE AND DONE: LEVEL 1

    10% INSTANT KILL ON THE FIRST LANDED ATTACK ON A CRITICAL AREA.

    From now on, if you initiate combat, the first strike, if on a critical area, will have a ten percent chance to kill the target instantly.

    You have passed level 10 Dexterity.

    Disarming Traps Level 1 Unlocked.

    DISARM TRAPS: LEVEL 1

    You may disarm Any mechanical trap you can find if you possess the proper tools. This also allows you to analyze the workings of any trap you examine. Does not work with magical traps.

    I could barely process the news. The Whisperer had taken things to the next level as she described all the new stuff I just got. The world decided it was time to add something to my resume: Assassin.

    I looked down at the asshole I just killed¡ªthe third guy in the tent. The dagger poking out of him made him look like a windup toy.

    ¡°Oh fuck,¡± I whispered/sighed.

    I wrenched the dagger out, and it came free with a schloop. I wiped the blade off on the blanket and admired my handy work. Three perfect kills. Stab, stab, stab and done.

    The world acknowledged my good work and rewarded me with the job of killing people. The Whisperer was right about one thing: stuff moves fast for rifters.

    I stepped out of the tent into the thick soup of awkwardness that was The Animaniacs party. Gem leaned on her bow, watching me with concern. Jinx had his usual resting bitch face, and Kev looked almost hostile. The orc was pissed, to be sure, but at the same time, I could see that there was a trace of something else on his face. He looked relieved.

    ¡°It¡¯s¡­¡± I whispered to everyone, trying to find the right words to break the tension. ¡°¡­going good?¡±

    Then I added in my let¡¯s say stupid shit because I¡¯m a stupid shit voice. ¡°How are you guys?¡±

    Jinx nodded at me with an awkward smile. Kev didn¡¯t say or do anything. Gem let out the breath she¡¯d been holding for a hundred years or so.

    ¡°I¡¯m gonna...just gonna¡­¡±

    I downed another AP potion and moved to the next tent.

    Rinse and Repeat.

    I emerged from the second tent in less than ten minutes. It went faster with my new Sneak Attack skill and the fact that my Dagger skill jumped to level three right in the middle of all that. One and Done even activated once. Awesome stuff.

    ¡°Go get ¡®em,¡± I said wearily to Jinx and Kev.

    They bolted into the last tent, Hell-bent on making as big a commotion as possible. It was very loud but short between Kev¡¯s massive hammer and Jinx¡¯s lightning magic.

    QUEST COMPLETED:

    ESCAPE FROM CAPTIVITY

    REWARD:

    FREEDOM

    The boys emerged after a couple of moments, looking a little better for it.

    ¡°Love,¡± Jinx said, walking up to me. ¡°It don¡¯t get any rougher than that.¡±

    ¡°It would have been,¡± I said flatly. ¡°If they had their way with us.¡± I switched out of the black armor into my tunic and pants. ¡°Loot the bodies. Then pile their naked asses in those fucking carts.¡± I started walking toward the back of the camp. ¡°I¡¯m gonna check on Heather.¡±

    Kev started to say something, but Jinx put his hand up.

    ¡°¡¯k love,¡± he said.

    Heather was still hiding on the ground under the cart, right where I left her. I came over and plopped down next to her underneath.

    ¡°Heard a commotion,¡± she said.

    ¡°That wasn¡¯t me. My kills are much neater.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry.¡±

    ¡°Eight.¡± I leaned back against the cart¡¯s wheel. ¡°I stabbed six through the fucking heart and slit the throats of the other two.¡±

    I held out my hands. ¡°Not a drop of blood on me. Which makes no sense. Oh yeah, just unlocked Assassin, Level One. Mom would be proud; I finally got a job.¡±

    ¡°Just because you unlocked the job doesn¡¯t mean that¡¯s who you are.¡± She reached out and took my right hand. As soon as she touched it, I realized I had been trembling. ¡°As soon as you were locked in that cage, you weren¡¯t coming out the same.¡±

    ¡°The creepy thing is it was so fucking¡­easy.¡±

    ¡°Which part?¡±

    ¡°The killing part. It¡¯s not like I ever came close to anything like that before. And then boom! Eight perfect kills.¡± I pulled my hand back.

    ¡°Oh yeah, and one assist. Almost forgot about that.¡± I clenched my fists. ¡°I knew exactly what to do, as though it were instinct. It was as if I had been doing it my entire life.¡±

    I pointed over at the tents. ¡°I made peanut butter sandwiches with less skill than what I did over there.¡±

    Heather placed a calming hand on my shoulder. ¡°I can¡¯t explain it. I¡¯m a person of faith, and I believe the gods sometimes guide us to do extraordinary things we can¡¯t normally do ourselves.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t suppose the Goddess of Purity guided my hand tonight.¡±

    ¡°She might have.¡± She shrugged. ¡°Or some other god. Or maybe no god at all. I mean, who knows?¡± She placed her arm around me. ¡°Maybe you are just extraordinary.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s never been anything extraordinary about me,¡± I mumbled, my head down.

    ¡°I seriously doubt that. The Regan Summer, that fought to save her friends, escaped magical shackles, and dispatched a gang of rapists and slavers in less than an hour, is extraordinary by any measure. I refuse to believe that you are anything less than that. Maybe this crazy world just awakened it.¡±

    She hugged me, squeezing me tight. ¡°I will always be grateful for what you did. But¡­¡± She had her face close to my ear and whispered. ¡°We are never, ever going to have sex.¡±

    We both burst out laughing. I felt the tears stream down as we held each other. Both of us felt grateful to be alive. We held on for a moment, feeling the tension slip away.

    ¡°Just not into girls,¡± she said with a smile.

    ¡°Okay,¡± I wiped my face, and I pulled back.

    ¡°Any of these yours?¡± I removed the last four storage rings from my storage space.

    She picked a ring from my hand and slipped it on her finger. There was a flash of steam or smoke. She was clad in a new, pristine robe and had another staff lying across her lap.

    Kev arrived a moment later., dragging two bodies behind him. Jinx and Gem were right behind with one.

    ¡°Little help, loves?¡± Jinx asked, grunting at the effort.

    ¡°Why are we doing this anyway?¡± Kev asked.

    ¡°Because,¡± Jinx said, grunting as he heaved the body into the cart, ¡°we need to send a message.¡±

    ¡°No,¡± I said, crawling out from underneath. ¡°It¡¯s not about sending a message. We want it to look like an overwhelming force took these guys out, so they don¡¯t come looking for us.¡±

    Kev shot me an appraising look. ¡°Who even thinks of that?

    Heather smiled up at him. ¡°Rogues.¡± She stood up, joining me and Gem. We headed to the front of the camp to start hauling the bodies.

    ¡°Rough night?¡± Gem asked as we walked.

    ¡°Not my best,¡± I said. ¡°But we had to do something.¡±

    ¡°You get your spiritual guidance?¡± Gem nodded over to Heather.

    ¡°Yeah. Are things really this fucked up in this world?¡±

    ¡°Not really,¡± she said. ¡°Not in the Empire, at least. We deal with outlaws regularly and hunt down monsters that cause trouble. I mean, you hear about this kind of stuff, but nowhere around here.¡±

    ¡°So, this is a new thing?¡±

    ¡°Kind of,¡± Gem shrugged before reaching the first tent. ¡°There are gangs that press people into slavery, but it¡¯s legal if someone is trespassing in Imperial territory, but they mostly work in the border regions.¡±

    ¡°So, it¡¯s legal to capture someone and force them into slavery?¡±

    ¡°Illegal entry will cost a year of servitude,¡± Heather said. ¡°Followed by deportation. There¡¯s pretty much an open bounty. If a gang captures someone, they just register them and put them on the market. If there are any mistakes, the magistrate catches it.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s a pretty good incentive to not cross illegally,¡± Gem said.

    ¡°Yeah, but what these men did is straight-up criminal,¡± Heather replied.

    ¡°You said they were going to ship us out of the country,¡± I told Heather. ¡°So, this is just kidnapping and human trafficking.¡±

    ¡°They told me that was the plan,¡± she said. ¡°Once we leave the Empire, we don¡¯t have any rights.¡±

    ¡°It makes sense. I suppose.¡± Gem said. ¡°But this kind of criminal enterprise in the middle of the Empire is fucking crazy. I¡¯m surprised it even exists.¡±

    ¡°Maybe the Empire isn¡¯t as in control as people think.¡± I mused. ¡°Or just doesn¡¯t give a shit.¡±

    ¡°The roads are always a dangerous place,¡± Gem said. ¡°We¡¯re in the countryside, so you can expect trouble occasionally, but nothing organized at this level.¡±

    ¡°But just killing people and stealing their shit seems like an easier way to make money.¡±

    We reached the second tent. I stood back while the other two entered. I took a breath and looked up at the moon above. I wanted to give myself a moment before facing what I had done. The killing was easy. It was almost instant and painless for the men in the tents. That made me feel better, at least.

    Inside, I found it lit by a glowing lamp. I had gotten used to seeing in the dark, and the colors were vibrant and golden inside the beige canvas walls. The three lay on their cots, all on their backs, each with a tiny hole in their chests. There was almost no blood. They looked like they were asleep.

    ¡°That¡¯s the one that kicked me,¡± Heather said, pointing at the one on the far right. ¡°The Goddess says to forgive.¡± She shook her head. ¡°Fuck that guy, though.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± I muttered, ¡°I didn¡¯t mind plugging him.¡±

    We¡¯d looted everything¡ªthe bodies, the chests, anything that wasn¡¯t nailed down. I mean, they were tents, so nothing was nailed down. The bodies were stripped, unceremoniously dumped into the carts, and stacked like meaty puzzle pieces. Kev and Jinx dismantled the tents and shoved them underneath while Gem and Heather wrangled the horses and prepared the carriage. Efficiency at its most macabre.

    I stood back, watching in silence as the plan came together. We couldn¡¯t leave the camp intact for their comrades to stumble upon. No, we had to erase it¡ªscorched earth. The fire would handle most of the evidence, especially the inconvenient fact that one person had done the bulk of the killing. For good measure, I notched a few arrows and peppered the bodies with extra wounds.

    After the cleanup, I pulled out the last four of my magic soap bars.

    ¡°Time to de-gore,¡± I muttered, passing them around.

    Wordlessly, we turned away from each other, scrubbing down like guilt-ridden murderers.

    I lathered and scrubbed until my skin felt raw. The magical bubbles worked tirelessly, sweeping away blood, filth, and, with any luck, a little of my self-loathing.

    Muck dripped from my hair, splattering the ground at my feet in wet, crimson clumps. I washed away everything I could from the outside.

    When I was finally clean, I stood still. My naked body shivered in the cool night air, droplets of water tracing paths down my skin. I closed my eyes. Could there really be a hand guiding any of this?

    I thought about Gods¡ªthe ones from this world and the ones from my old one. Believing in them still felt impossible. The idea that my actions could be guided by a force with any claim to goodness? I couldn¡¯t allow it.

    Heather¡¯s faith was something I envied. Hell, I envied the comfort faith gave anyone. Skepticism might look good on paper, but it doesn¡¯t help you sleep at night.

    I inhaled deeply, filling my lungs with the crisp night air. It was beautiful out¡ªquiet, still. I let the breeze dry my skin, the chill brushing over me like an old friend.

    The goosebumps on my arms reminded me of how exposed I was. Naked, not just in body, but in spirit, even among my friends. With a thought, I summoned my old T-shirt from storage and slipped it over my head.

    ¡°Ready for the final act?¡± Jinx asked. He placed a shaking hand on my shoulder.

    Gem and Heather clambered wearily into the carriage. Kev climbed up to the coach¡¯s box, reins in hand, looking ready to bolt.

    I nodded. ¡°Let¡¯s finish it.¡±

    Jinx sighed, the kind of bone-deep exhaustion that comes from a long day of abuse, murder, and manual labor.

    ¡°Been a day, hasn¡¯t it, Love?¡±

    ¡°Yup.¡±

    He raised his hands, palms facing each other, murmuring something. A ball of fire flickered to life, growing and swirling between his fingers. With a sharp motion, he split it into two fiery spheres. Each palm unleashed a spray of flames, igniting the tents beneath the carts in a brilliant blaze.

    The fire roared to life, devouring wood and canvas with hungry intensity. Two more fireballs blasted directly into the carts, sending the bodies inside up in flames. A wave of hot air blasted against my face, blowing my hair around in angry little circles.

    ¡°Tha'' ''ll get the job done, if anyfing will.¡± Jinx lowered his hands with a dramatic puff of smoke. ¡°Best not stick around too long.¡± He sniffed the air and grimaced. ¡°The smell.¡±

    He wasn¡¯t wrong. The stench of burning meat and hair was enough to churn even the toughest stomach. I watched the fire spread, counting down silently from ten to one. Killing wasn¡¯t hard. That was the disturbing part. It was stupid fucking easy.

    A few days ago, I thought I could sneak through this world and avoid this kind of thing. But even if I did, I would just be punting the ball. Someone else would have to do it. Or worse, men like this would keep roaming, terrorizing others. The universe had a sick sense of humor, choosing me to be the one to stop them.

    ¡°Fuck you,¡± I muttered at the sizzling, greasy bonfire. I looked up at the star-filled sky. The brilliance of the stars in this world was undeniable; every night, the heavens looked down in majestic glory.

    ¡°Fuck you, too,¡± I said to any god that might be listening.

    Kev glanced down from the coach box, his face unreadable. I waved; he gave me a half-hearted one back. He either thought I was terrifying or just plain awful. I¡¯d have to figure that out later.

    Climbing into the carriage, I took in the surprisingly roomy interior¡ªdesigned for nine men with space to spare, plus storage on top. A single mage lamp cast a soft, yellow light in the compartment. There were three rows of nicely padded seats. Jinx sat on the frontmost rear-facing bench; his gaze was down, avoiding eye contact. Heather and Gem were slumped on the back bench, leaving plenty of room for me.

    I slipped in between them, leaning my head on Gem¡¯s shoulder. Heather leaned against me in turn, her weight reassuring and grounding. No one said a word as the carriage started rolling, gravel crunching beneath the wheels. The lamp swayed with the motion, painting dancing shadows on the walls.

    I closed my eyes, counting down from ten again. Sleep, as always, came easy.

 Chapter Nine: The right half, anyway.

    Chapter Nine: The right half, anyway.

    Objectively, The Tragedy at Twin Boulder Pass, as it would be known in my mind, had some definite plusses. Well, plusses being primarily financial. Sure, we were scarred, battered, and emotionally frayed, but our coffers were notably fuller for the trouble. There was nothing earth-shattering regarding gear, but everything stacked up nicely in the sell pile.

    The carriage we now traveled in was a definite upgrade from the rustic P.O.S. Jinx had provided. This one had four horses instead of two, which meant we were practically flying down the Imperial Highway.

    And then there was the real prize: A genuine Vintage Dorsaer Storage Chest, whatever that was.

    I pulled the thing out and cast Appraisal:

    <u>APPRAISAL REPORT:</u>

    CHEST OF NULL SPACE STORAGE, SUPERIOR

    VALUE:

    1,200GP

    CAPACITY:

    11 CUBIC FEET

    My Arcana skill added the following information at the end:

    Manufactured in the dwarven city of Wood Binder, this Dorsaer Storage Chest has had three owners in its seventy-two-year history. The last owner, Caecilius Vonner, has recently passed. Current ownership of the chest and all contents cannot be established.

    When I placed the chest into my storage space, its inventory immediately appeared in a separate tab on my interface. It already held over a hundred and fifty items.

    Thanks to my Arcana skill, I had access to a bonus feature that let me sort items by their source¡ªa convenient trick that, for some reason, wasn¡¯t mentioned anywhere in the skill description. With it, I could organize the loot in seconds.

    This meant I could transfer everything we¡¯d collected the night before into the chest with a single, magical swoop instead of painstakingly dragging and dropping each item like some medieval file clerk. The system even tracked the date each item was added to storage, and yes, it was all sortable.

    I made sure to keep the storage rings out of the chest. My stomach twisted in phantom pain when I just thought about it.

    Once the chest was ready, I pulled it out and set it on the bench. When I opened the lid, an inventory projection appeared above it for everyone to see. Kev was still up top driving, but the rest of the party and Heather gathered around to check out the goods.

    The contents itself? It was not exactly thrilling once I saw what we had. There were dozens of clothing items, most with low-level enchantments: auto fitting and minor ability boosts. They were nice, but not great. The weapons selection wasn¡¯t much better: unenchanted, ranging from ¡°scrap metal¡± to ¡°exceptional.¡± A few bottles of potions rounded out the collection. Some were labeled, others were complete mysteries. Jinx found a few of these interesting, which made me nervous.

    I sorted everything into piles by value, evenly dividing the loot into subfolders I created for each party member. The grand finale? A respectable pot of four thousand, three hundred, sixty-five GP in coin to split. The gold itself was all kinds of awesome. It was not bad for a night¡¯s work, even if it hadn¡¯t been a joyride. I did get a cute top, but it had blood all over it.

    The four of us agreed to have me carry the chest and use it as a communal coffer for the rest of the trip. I already had the rings with me. The storage devices had more limitations than my personal storage, and with an Appraisal spell and Arcana, my inventory management was lightyears ahead of the rest of the party. Go Rogues!

    ¡°The real loot is in those rings,¡± Jinx said as he received his share. ¡°That¡¯s why none of this stuff is all that great.¡± We looted nine rings altogether: three from victims and six from the gang. ¡°We need to get those cracked as soon as possible, Love.¡±

    ¡°Any chance we can get it done out here in the sticks?¡±

    ¡°No, you need a ritualist wot specializes in ''igh level enchantments. It¡¯s delicate work, you gotta remove the personalized lock wivout destroyin'' the magic that accesses the null space.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure you know a guy.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, I know several.¡± Jinx smiled at me. ¡°When we get to Ironstone, the bloke I''m introducin'' you to keeps one on retainer. We¡¯ll get it done and can do a proper split from there.¡±

    ¡°And then we go our separate ways.¡±

    ¡°Something like that,¡± Jinx said. ¡°But we got a thing together. So, we ain¡¯t gonna wander far, are we?¡±

    ¡°Probably not.¡±

    Jinx slid out the window and climbed to the top of the carriage to spell Kev. The Orc hopped down to the running board and slid open the door to get in since he was way too big to squeeze through the window himself.

    ¡°Morning,¡± he said.

    ¡°Hi,¡± I scooted over on the bench. It was mid-morning, or so I guessed. I got a good six to eight hours of sleep, and the girls were napping after the loot split.

    ¡°I¡¯m troubled about last night.¡±

    ¡°You and me both.¡± He did look troubled; his eyes lacked their usual luster; maybe it was sleep deprivation or the stress of yesterday; who could tell? Probably a bit of both.

    ¡°You and I actually have a lot in common.¡±

    ¡°What do you mean?¡±

    ¡°We weren¡¯t born into this life. We came from somewhere else, and our expectations are very different from the reality we have to deal with.¡±

    ¡°Makes sense.¡± He yawned and stretched his wide arms out, almost reaching across the compartment. ¡°That was some dark shit, though.¡±

    ¡°Yeah. Strangely enough, I didn¡¯t lose sleep, but I feel like I should have. Those are lives that are gone. There¡¯s no redemption, no chance to make up for the harm they did or pay back what they have taken from the people they victimized.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not mad because you killed them. I¡¯m mad because they got off easy.¡±

    ¡°You wanted it messy?¡±

    ¡°No, I wanted them to die, knowing it was us that killed them. That they were responsible for their deaths at our hands.¡±

    ¡°So that¡¯s what bothers you?¡±

    ¡°Mostly,¡± he paused, looking out the window momentarily like he was organizing his thoughts. ¡°Also, you taking control like that. It was a bit off-putting.¡±

    ¡°Why?¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m used to being the one in charge of things.¡± He pointed up at the ceiling. ¡°Jinx is the one running this tour, but he often deferred to me when it came to making tactical decisions.¡±

    ¡°He¡¯s more experienced than you and would have stepped in if you made a bad choice.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s what he did last night.¡± He grunted and leaned back. ¡°I made a bad call, and he shut me down. We wouldn''t be sitting here if we went all out on the attack. I feel like a failure.¡±

    ¡°You came out here to learn. You didn¡¯t fail anything. It¡¯s not like I¡¯m the guru of mortal combat. I just had a better idea of how to approach the problem.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, you did.¡± He smiled at me. ¡°And you have the fucking balls to stand up and take charge. I like that. I just didn¡¯t like the ego slap I got last night.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re good people, Kev.¡± I patted him on the arm. His well-muscled, sexy, strong arm. ¡°I appreciate the sentiment.¡± I half stood, kissing him on the cheek. I briefly held my hand on his arm and then quickly pulled it back. A rush of butterflies fluttered through my stomach. The big lug didn¡¯t seem to notice, thank God.

    He smiled at me and closed his eyes. ¡°Thanks.¡± He scooted as close to the corner of the compartment as he could and leaned against it, his head tilting back. Snooze time for the big guy.

    I didn¡¯t feel like being alone with a bunch of sleeping people. Things got a little hairy the last time I did that. So, I climbed out the window and on top of the carriage. Jinx was in his own little world and didn¡¯t notice as I crawled onto the top and sat, enjoying the view from a nine-foot-high vantage point.

    The ride was, thankfully, uneventful. There were a few instances where we passed some other travelers, each being wary of the other. They mainly looked like locals on business. I crawled forward to join Jinx as the day moved from morning to late afternoon.

    ¡°There it is,¡± he said, pointing. ¡°Longhorn Castle. Up on the hill up there, see it?¡±

    ¡°Wow.¡±

    It wasn¡¯t what I¡¯d imagined a castle would look like. Forget the rough stone walls and round turrets from pictures and movies. This place was low, sprawling, and nothing like a fairy tale. The walls were dark and smooth, polished with a sheen that made them look almost like metal. Sharp, unforgiving angles made the whole structure look more like a bunker than a castle. The windows weren¡¯t grand arches or intricate stained glass. They were horizontal slits, narrow and squinting like suspicious eyes.

    Above it all, the octagonal keep loomed. It was cold and menacing and could¡¯ve passed as a piece of brutalist architecture dropped into the middle of a fantasy landscape. Longhorn¡¯s massive banners fluttered in blue and gold from the keep and the walls, their bright colors a sharp contrast against the foreboding structure and the valley it seemed to glare down upon.

    ¡°Not what ya was expecting, love?¡±

    ¡°No, pretty menacing shit.¡±

    ¡°Longhorns are Imperials.¡± He pointed at the hill the castle stood on. ¡°But they ''ad dwarves build that thing for ''em.¡±

    ¡°I know I¡¯m new here, but that sounds like a dwarven name.¡±

    ¡°¡¯tis,¡± Jinx said. ¡°It started out that way, but ¡®umans married in years and years ago. Pretty much all ¡®uman now.¡±

    The road grew busier as we neared Longhorn. People bustled to and from the small town huddled at the foot of the castle, hauling goods and racing to beat the sunset.

    The landscape had changed too. The rocky hills and scattered trees were long gone, replaced by rolling fields of crops swaying in the breeze. Their vibrant green stretched almost as far as the eye could see, fed by creeks and streams trickling down from the distant highlands.

    Far beyond the castle, the faint outline of blue mountains rose on the horizon, their white-capped peaks barely visible against the sky.

    Something warm and fuzzy wriggled inside me at the sight of those snow-dusted peaks. It felt like a little taste of home. And after everything I¡¯d been through on the road, I wouldn¡¯t argue with a small dose of nostalgia.

    We passed through the town gates, which were surprisingly unguarded, and quickly found the livery where we could leave the carriage. Jinx paid the hands, and we climbed out. We stretched and stepped gingerly onto the muddy ground, everyone moving with the stiffness of a long day on the road.

    It was a hard push through the night and day. And I had to give a virtual high five to the horses that pulled us up and down hills for most of that. None of us were eager for anything more than a quiet place to rest that wasn¡¯t constantly jostling beneath us. Business with Longhorn could wait.

    We formed up instinctively as we headed into what I guessed was the Village of Longhorn. The girls lined up between the boys, with Gem leading the way and me bringing up the rear. It was a defensive formation, automatic and unspoken as if we were preparing for a fight even though we all wanted a break.

    The village was a stark contrast to the imposing castle looming above it. It felt more like a shanty town than a proper settlement. There were no paved roads. Instead, the place was lined with muddy paths, slick with muck and nasty-smelling runoff. The main street was lined with stalls where vendors shouted out, waving their wares in the air in a last-ditch effort to catch the attention of passing customers. The locals, a mix of humans and dwarves, bustled around, though most seemed more interested in wrapping up their business for the day than making a sale. Behind the stalls, clusters of huts and tents sprawled haphazardly, forming layers of makeshift housing.

    At the far end of the street stood the largest building in the village: an inn positioned just to the right of the castle gates. Those gates were guarded by tough-looking men and dwarves who seemed to glare at everything and everyone. The late afternoon sun cast long shadows from the castle, spreading a cold, damp gloom over the village that matched its muddy, grimy vibe.Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

    Inside the inn, the atmosphere shifted entirely. The chill and filth of the outside world were left at the door. The place was about the same size as the inn we''d stayed at in Wood Cut but had a completely different vibe. Gone was the cozy, Disney-like charm of the Iron Hammer. Instead, this place leaned hard into a rough, western saloon aesthetic with a hint of raunchiness. A long bar stretched across the back wall, much like the other inn, but here, the d¨¦cor came with a twist. Scantily clad humans and dwarves of both sexes lounged about the room, clearly available to offer companionship to go along with the rented rooms.

    In one corner, a duo of musicians played a surprisingly jazzy tune on a flute and a string instrument, not exactly what I was expecting. If I had to categorize it, it would be medieval strip club music.

    The air was thick with the comforting scents of food cooking, wood smoke, and sweet pipe tobacco. I was starting to get an appreciation for the smell of these places. It made me feel safe, away from the dangers of the outside world. Of course, a rampaging band of orcs could come busting the door down at any time in this crazy world, but it was nice to pretend occasionally.

    The patrons, mostly locals, were scattered around long communal tables, chatting, eating, or playing cards and dice. With the vendors outside packing up for the day, I felt the place was about to get crowded. Spotting a large enough table for all of us, we wasted no time settling in and staking our claim before the rest of the town poured in.

    ¡°Hello, travelers.¡± One of the human wenches came up to the table. ¡°Will you need food and drink tonight?¡± She wore a lowcut blouse and corset, very much like the one from The Iron Hammer, but she had a short skirt with a high slit and lace-up boots. Her brown hair was tied back, and her face was tanned and freckled with a youthful glow.

    ¡°Ale an¡¯ whatever you¡¯ve got cookin¡¯ for dinner tonight,¡± Jinx said. ¡°Rooms as well, if you¡¯ve got ¡¯em.¡±

    ¡°Happy to get you everything you need,¡± she smiled at him flirtatiously. ¡°Roasted pork and ale all around then.¡± She gave us all a warm smile before returning to Jinx. She gave him a wink and spun on her heel. She strolled to the bar, swaying her hips sensually. We were all enjoying the free show.

    ¡°Nice place,¡± he chuckled. ¡°Gotta say, I¡¯ve got a soft spot for these backwater inns when they¡¯re done proper.¡±

    ¡°Well, talk about one-stop shopping,¡± I muttered, glancing around the room at the wenches and swains scattered like decorative furniture. They were strategically positioned, but all their attention was fixed on us, the fresh arrivals. Both the boys and the girls made deliberate eye contact with me, their gazes catching mine like they¡¯d been practicing it in a mirror.

    I found their flirtatious glances more than a little intimidating. Not because I thought they were dangerous or anything, but because, honestly, I didn¡¯t entirely trust myself.

    ¡°You¡¯re not worried about catching anything?¡±

    ¡°Healing potions, love,¡± Jinx smiled, his eyes feasting on the eye candy in the room. ¡°Healing potions.¡±

    We took turns heading to the privy out back as food and drinks arrived at our table. Soon enough, a massive platter was set down in the center, loaded with enough food to make us all pause and appreciate the feast.

    One thing I was still getting used to in this world? Meals were always served family-style. But then, everyone at the table ate off the same shared platter. No individual portions, no personal plates. We just grabbed our knives and forks and dug in, reaching for the best bites. It was a little strange at first, but I had to admit, it made for a uniquely communal experience.

    And the food? Tonight, it was incredible. The roasted pork practically fell off the bone, glazed with honey and sprinkled with savory spices. It came surrounded by roasted potatoes and boiled greens, with a side plate of bread and butter. Even the ale, though unremarkable, tasted better paired with such a satisfying meal. I drank more than usual, letting it soothe the lingering woes of the previous night. Dessert was a warm bread pudding with dates soaked in a liquor sauce that melted in my mouth.

    By the end of it, I was tipsy and feeling good. Better than I had in years, actually. There was a good buzz and delicious food; it was like being back in college. Caught up in the moment, I flung my arms around Gem and kissed her. She returned it with enthusiasm, leaving me even giddier than before.

    The mood at our table was infectious. Heather, Gem, and the rest of the group finally seemed to let go of the tension. We would deal with things down the road, but tonight was about being alive and with friends.

    Laughter came easily. Jinx cracked a joke about a brothel he once visited in a place called Olde Towne, where the workers supposedly had forked tongues and scales. Gem followed up with a scandalous story about seducing a mother and daughter in one night, while Kev, who didn¡¯t have a story of his own, kept the raunchy jokes coming. Heather just giggled at everyone¡¯s antics and was the first to stumble upstairs, mumbling about needing to cleanse her spirit from all the ¡°spirits.¡±

    As the night wound down, the group started to peel off. Jinx and Kev each left with one of the local women, their arms slung around their new ¡°friends.¡± Gem kissed me once more before disappearing somewhere, leaving me to eventually wander to my room.

    It was nothing fancy. There was a bed, a small table and chair, and a pot in the corner. It was all I could hope for after being on the worst camping trip ever.

    I stripped down, tossed my clothes onto the floor without bothering to stash them in my storage space, and flopped onto the bed. The buzz from the ale was still there, warm and pleasant, though it was starting to fade. The mattress felt wonderfully heavy, and my naked self was about to just sink into it when a quiet knock came at the door.

    ¡°Hang on,¡± I said wearily. I got up and crossed the tiny space, unlatched the bolt, and opened the door, my body hidden behind it.

    ¡°Hi,¡± Gem said with a mischievous smile.

    ¡°Hi?¡± I stepped back, still keeping my naked form out of sight from the hallway.

    ¡°Got you a present,¡± Gem declared, her voice slurred just enough to worry me. She leaned into the hallway and hauled in one of the swains from downstairs, flashing me a mischievous grin like she¡¯d just pulled off the surprise of the year.

    ¡°This is Nemdor,¡± she said, with a grin that screamed bad ideas in progress.

    ¡°Hi,¡± he said, flashing a smile equal parts charm and trouble. He was short¡ªjust a hair taller than my elf-sized frame¡ªbut carried himself with the confidence of someone who¡¯d been told he was charming one too many times. His dark, Mediterranean features gave him a smooth, confident look, and his curly brown hair framed his face perfectly, each lock bouncing lightly at his collar like it knew it was one of his best features. A thin beard clung to his jaw, neat but almost apologetic, next to his untamed hair. His eyes roamed over me with an unsettling hunger.

    ¡°Fuck!¡± I yelped, snatching the blanket off the bed and wrapping it around myself. ¡°What the hell did you bring him in for?¡±

    ¡°Well¡­¡± Gem¡¯s grin stretched wider, her gaze taking on the mischief of a lustful satyr. She shoved Nemdor in front of her, planting her hands on his chest for emphasis. His half-open, loose-fitting white shirt revealed just enough to make her point clear, and his green and brown tights, complete with a codpiece, were doing the rest of the heavy lifting. ¡°¡­He looked like a cute fit for you.¡±

    She pulled on the strap holding his codpiece. It fell to the floor, his member spilling out from behind it. I was immediately aroused and swallowed hard.

    ¡°Half dwarf,¡± he said, smiling.

    ¡°The right half, anyway.¡± She chuckled.

    ¡°I have no idea what that means.¡± Sure, I had an idea based on the relative size of what I was looking at.

    She reached down, taking him in her left hand. He moaned a little at her touch but kept his eyes on me. She reached out to me with her right.

    ¡°Come on,¡± her voice was low and seductive and a little drunk. ¡°Let¡¯s find out.¡±

    Time for another first.

    I awoke before dawn, as I usually did. I was in my tiny bed, nestled on my side between Nemdor and Gem. He was behind me, his stiff morning cock pressed against my naked back. His arm was under mine, wrapped around my body and gripping my breast. Gem was pushed up on her side facing me and had her arm around both of us, her soft breasts pushing against my neck and chin. No amount of stealth would get me out of this bind.

    I drifted off again, only waking when Nemdor started extricating himself from the tangled pile of limbs. I turned over while he pushed up and kissed him deeply on the lips. He returned the kiss and gave me a wink and smile as he slipped out of the bed.

    I watched him silently as he crossed the room, picking up his clothes. His tight muscles rippled as he bent, his cock swayed in front of him. I could feel the arousal again. My body was tingling just seeing him there. He pulled up his pants, tied the laces at his waist, and strapped his codpiece on. His phallus was now safely out of sight.

    Last night was a learning experience. I would have flopped on the mattress if left to my imagination, but Gem was having none of that. She guided us with the skill of an air traffic controller. She directed Nemdor and me around, on top, and behind each other all night.

    She made sure I experienced him from every position I could think of, and a couple that weren¡¯t in the playbook since they needed an extra player.

    I loved exploring his body, kissing and tasting his chest and nipples, taking in the scent of a man. Gem joined in sometimes; other times, she moved back, happy to observe. He was a nice fit, like she said. She was an expert on all things carnal, and she shared her wisdom with both of us. Nemdor did his job with gusto. I had to hand it to him because that girl demanded nothing but the best.

    I lost my second virginity and realized after waking up that I didn¡¯t miss it at all.

    I waited for him to leave before slipping out of bed myself. I activated Stealth as I had the other morning and scooted around the room, picking up my clothes before dressing. I sat on the edge of the bed and kissed Gem gently on the cheek. She moaned and turned onto her stomach, still out and unrousable.

    I made my way downstairs. But unlike The Iron Hammer, this place was quiet, with no activity in the kitchen or anywhere else. There were no benches outside, and I didn''t want to deal with the nasty, muddy street, so I sat at a table next to one of the shuttered windows. I opened it up and watched the village slowly wake up outside.

    ¡°You¡¯re a sinful person,¡± Heather said, sitting in the chair next to mine. ¡°There were a lot of sex sounds coming from your room last night.¡±

    ¡°All people are sinful, Priestess. Didn¡¯t they teach you that in God school?¡± I replied without looking at her. ¡°I remember you laughing like a naughty schoolgirl at all of Kev¡¯s jokes.¡±

    ¡°Never said I wasn¡¯t.¡± Heather chuckled. ¡°I¡¯m glad you are finding some release. Seriously. But maybe work at some discretion next time; I could hear from you. All of you.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re welcome to join.¡±

    ¡°Door was locked.¡±

    I laughed, pulled two apples out of my space, and handed one to Heather. ¡°You¡¯re the nastiest Priestess of Amania there ever was.¡±

    I munched on my breakfast in silence, watching the muddy street outside. There were a million things I wanted to talk about, but it was hard to break a pleasant, peaceful silence.

    Jinx was the next to come down, blinking sleep out of his eyes and sitting with me. He grumbled a greeting and accepted an apple. Next came Kev, grunting as he plopped into a chair. Gem made it down a few minutes later, and the whole party was together again, slightly hungover but intact for another day.

    We wrapped up breakfast, mostly enjoying the silence. Just over a day ago, there was the real possibility that we all could still be locked in cages en route to a hellish life up north. We handled it by enjoying the moment of peace we now shared.

    That was yesterday. Murder World wasn¡¯t going to ease up on me. I got that. I needed to be ready for the next thing. I felt like I was aging a million years a day since I got here.

    After we finished, we all looked at Jinx, who gave us a silent nod, and we got up and left the inn. We slogged through the mud toward the castle gates, each step squelching louder than the last. Thankfully, the inn was just down the hill, but even that short walk felt like a trial. By the time we reached the gates, I was ready to throw myself into the nearest moat if it meant getting clean.

    Two guards stood at the entrance: a human woman and a dwarf man. Their armor gleamed unnaturally bright as if defying the grime of the streets out of sheer spite. The human gave us a once-over, her expression politely bored, as though she couldn¡¯t care less about our existence. The dwarf, however, was an entirely different story.

    The moment we arrived, he launched into a two-minute tirade that felt like it might go on forever.

    We learned his thoughts on outsiders: not a fan. His thoughts on the Empire? Also, not a fan. Then came his firmly held opinions on rats, cockroaches, and nail-beaked finches destroying his house''s roof. Oh, and his ongoing battle to keep slimes out of his garden? That got a whole chapter.

    He didn¡¯t just complain¡ªhe painted a vivid, highly explicit picture of every unpleasant trait those things had and somehow managed to compare all of them to us.

    Kev looked about to erupt like a green volcano, his fists clenched tightly. Gem repeatedly pulled her bow in and out of her inventory, probably debating whether the consequences were worth it. Jinx stood stoic while Heather was too busy giggling to care.

    As for me? I stood there, bewildered. Still being pretty green to all things Nya, I was half-convinced this was some sort of dwarven ritual. Maybe this was their version of a warm welcome?

    ¡°¡­an¡¯ that goes double fer yer mither!¡± he finished, wheezing as he struggled to catch his breath.

    ¡°We¡¯ve been here since sundown yesterday,¡± the human guard finally said, cutting through the chaos. She glanced at us apologetically, her expression like someone explaining away a drunken uncle at a family reunion.

    ¡°We have business with the Duke,¡± Jinx said flatly, his tone carefully ignoring the dwarf¡¯s loud, nasally breathing as he huffed and puffed like a bull about to charge.

    ¡°And another thing¡ª¡± the dwarf began, winding up for round two.

    ¡°DURNOL!¡± The human cut in sharply, and he froze mid-huff. ¡°Remember what we talked about?¡±

    Durnol¡¯s shoulders sagged, and he looked down at his boots like a chastised toddler. ¡°Aye¡­ I need tae stop lettin¡¯ my bad feelin¡¯s out like that.¡±

    ¡°No, Durnol. What did we really talk about?¡±

    He pouted harder. ¡°That Sergeant Caskbrew made the roster, an¡¯ it¡¯s no¡¯ these people¡¯s fault.¡±

    ¡°And?¡±

    ¡°And I need tae apologize.¡±

    She smiled at him like a proud parent. ¡°Good. Now, go on.¡±

    The dwarf cleared his throat and muttered, ¡°I¡¯m¡­ sorry.¡±

    ¡°Louder, please,¡± she prompted, her grin widening.

    ¡°I¡¯M SORRY!¡± Durnol barked, his voice echoing off the castle walls.

    ¡°Perfect!¡± She clapped her hands, beaming. ¡°Now, you can ask them.¡±

    Durnol straightened up, doing his best to regain some shred of dignity. ¡°Please state yer business wi¡¯ Castle Longhorn.¡±

    Jinx raised an eyebrow. ¡°We already did.¡±

    And so, the circus continued.

    For a solid five minutes, we were treated to an impromptu therapy session between Durnol and the female guard. It turns out that his grievances ran deeper than just the duty roster. Apparently, Durnol felt underappreciated by the entire castle guard. Tragically overlooked, the dwarf was denied his due respect.

    Sergeant Caskbrew, the villain of Durnol¡¯s tale, wasn¡¯t just responsible for keeping him stuck on night duty for far too long. No, the good sergeant had also ignored every single suggestion Durnol had ever made, no matter how ¡°brilliant¡± they were (Durnol¡¯s words, of course). To make matters worse, Caskbrew had denied all but one of Durnol¡¯s leave requests over the past year.

    ¡°I¡¯ve got a cousin in Riverside gettin¡¯ married in two weeks!¡± Durnol lamented, his voice breaking with righteous indignation. ¡°Everyone else gets time aff fer their life events, but me? Naw. Nothin¡¯! It''s always, ¡®Durnol, cover this shift! Durnol, clean out the armory!¡¯¡±

    We shifted uncomfortably, unsure whether to offer our condolences or just back away slowly. The female guard nodded along like she¡¯d heard it all before, occasionally muttering supportive phrases like, ¡°That¡¯s valid,¡± and ¡°I understand, Durnol.¡± At one point, she walked over and took his sword away when it looked like he might pull it out.

    ¡°Durnol,¡± she said finally.

    ¡°Yeah?¡± he was short of breath and panting.

    ¡°I think you should probably step inside and let one of the pages know that these good people have business with the duke.¡±

    ¡°Aye¡­¡± He sighed and slowly crossed over to her and took his sword back. He sheathed it and pushed the gate open, grunting with the physical and mental exhaustion of the last few minutes. He passed through the outer gate and disappeared behind the walls.

    ¡°He really is a sweetheart.¡± The female guard said to us. ¡°He¡¯s my son¡¯s godfather.¡± She then stood at attention, gesturing for us to enter the gate. ¡°Please wait inside. Welcome to Castle Longhorn!¡±

 Chapter Ten: XP donéˆ¥æª› feed the family.

    Chapter Ten: XP don¡¯t feed the family.

    ¡°NO! NO! NO! NO!¡±

    We¡¯d barely settled into our awkward vigil by the castle¡¯s outer gate when the man came charging out of the keep, his arms and body flailing like an inflatable tube man outside a tire store.

    He was impossibly tall. Like, nearly seven feet. And he was so thin he looked like he could slide under a closed door. His receding red hair, slicked back into a ponytail, only accentuated his angular, sharp-edged face. Every inch of him, from his pointy nose to his bony fingers, looked like he¡¯d been constructed entirely out of corners.

    He wore silken robes in the house colors of Longhorn, which billowed dramatically as he came to a halt and pointed an accusing finger at us.

    ¡°You¡¯ll track mud into the duke¡¯s residence!¡± he bellowed, his voice as sharp as the rest of him. ¡°You¡¯re filthy!¡±

    ¡°Awright then,¡± Jinx said, cocking his head. ¡°Wotcha propose we do?¡±

    The man bristled at the suggestion, visibly offended by both Jinx¡¯s tone and existence. ¡°You will address me by my proper title,¡± he snapped. ¡°Octavianus Axius Lucretius, Majordomo of this castle.¡± He straightened his already impossibly straight posture, looking down his nose at us with exaggerated importance. ¡°Now, state your business with The Duke.¡±

    ¡°Mercenary business,¡± Jinx said. He pulled out the quest notice and held it up.

    ¡°Very well, then,¡± Lucretius said, the look of shock and horror leaving his face. ¡°You are welcome to have an audience with His Highness.¡±

    ¡°Thank you,¡± Jinx replied formerly.

    ¡°However,¡± Lucretius wagged his finger at us. ¡°You are still muddy and poorly presented. Except for you,¡± he gestured at Heather politely and bowed. ¡°Priestess of Amania, you carry the cleanliness and purity of your goddess.¡±

    He pointed to the left and smiled. ¡°The rest of you will bathe and dress accordingly to show respect to the master of the castle and duke of this Province.¡±

    ¡°We shall indeed,¡± Jinx said, bowing slightly, nodding the group to follow. ¡°Thank you for your ¡®hospitality.¡±

    We headed to the left as instructed and found a standalone building just inside the wall. It was about the size of a double garage with two doors. There was a small bench outside, and Heather sat down with a huge grin.

    ¡°You¡¯re the dirtiest one in the bunch,¡± I muttered to her as Gem opened the left-hand door. The boys shuffled into the right.

    The damn priestess stuck her tongue out at me. ¡°You only wish.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s that mean girl energy I¡¯ve been missing.¡± I shot my tongue out at her in return.

    The bathhouse was luxurious, the kind of place that could ruin you for ordinary baths forever. The massive, tiled tub was set into the floor, filled with hot, perfumed water that practically begged you to sink into it. A pull chain above the tub summoned a hot rain shower that drenched the entire space in a steamy downpour.

    Gem and I wasted no time unequipping our clothes and slipping into the bath together. We laughed and splashed, rolling around as we soaped and scrubbed each other under the rain, the heat washing away the grime from the nasty road.

    When we were finally clean, Gem yanked a second chain, and a blast of warm air enveloped us, drying our skin and hair in seconds.

    She worked her magic on my unruly hair, braiding it with practiced ease before pinning it neatly.

    She dressed in a sharp suit, complete with form-fitting pants that gave her the air of someone who could negotiate a truce or kick down the door with her massive haunches if things went south.

    On the other hand, I went for the dress from my starter kit. It was strapless, made of deep red velvet trimmed with cream-colored lace, and had an empire waist that made me feel regal and slightly overdressed for whatever madness awaited us. I slipped on simple black slippers and added a gold necklace I¡¯d scavenged from the camp¡¯s treasure chest¡ªunenchanted, but it did the job.

    When I finally caught sight of myself in the mirror after days of grime and chaos, I froze. The sun hadn¡¯t just kissed my skin¡ªit had apparently just decided to have its nasty ass way with it. More freckles seemed to have multiplied across my face.

    I leaned closer, inspecting my reflection. Between the explosion of freckles, the bright hair, and the cosplay dress, I looked like I¡¯d stepped out of some cartoon. I felt like the comic relief, or maybe as the overly optimistic sidekick in someone else¡¯s epic quest.

    ¡°Oh, my fucking God,¡± I said, gazing at my reflection.

    ¡°Which god?¡± Gem said, standing behind me. ¡°You need to be more specific if you want people to take you seriously.¡±

    I looked at her through the mirror. ¡°I seriously can¡¯t believe this is my body.¡±

    ¡°Eh,¡± Gem said with a shrug. ¡°It¡¯s nice. I like it.¡±

    ¡°But freckles? Really?¡±

    We gathered in front of the keep¡¯s entrance, freshly cleaned and dressed in whatever finery we could. Jinx looked nearly the same as always, only now he wore blue silk robes with gold trim that added a hint of flair. Kev, on the other hand, had gone all out. He wore tights and an elaborately embroidered purple doublet with blue sleeves and far too many ruffles. The pi¨¨ce de r¨¦sistance, however, was the metal codpiece he¡¯d chosen. It was a gleaming monstrosity that was both alluring and unsettling.

    Unlike the muddy village outside, the castle grounds were spotless, paved with dark gray stone, making walking around in formal wear a surprisingly low-risk endeavor. Still, I couldn¡¯t shake how strange it felt to be in a dress. As a costume, yeah, I was all about it, but this was me trying to be a grown-up. Then I looked at Kev again. This world specialized in strange, so I just decided to roll with it.

    Majordomo Lucretius finally granted us entry after a painstaking inspection of our attire, which included more than a few disdainful sniffs. We passed his standards.

    He led us through the main doors into a tall, cold vestibule made of the same dark stone as the exterior, polished to a mirror-like sheen. Banners bearing the Duke¡¯s insignia hung from the high walls. Lucretius gestured us toward benches along the side of the room, where we were to wait.

    A few minutes later, a dwarven servant entered from a side door, pushing a cart laden with coffee and pastries. It seemed we were in for a delay before being received, though at least it wouldn¡¯t be on an empty stomach.

    After about thirty minutes, Lucretius returned and led us through another set of doors into a far, cozier waiting room. This one had a warmer feel, with dark wood-paneled walls and richly detailed tapestries. The parquet floor was a work of art, with intricate geometric patterns inlaid with delicate slivers of gold. A large fireplace on the right side of the room crackled invitingly, its warmth a welcome change from the chill of the stone vestibule.

    Two dwarven guards stood by the doors at the far end, their armor polished to a blinding gleam. We barely had a moment to take in our surroundings when those doors swung open dramatically.

    ¡°Welcome!¡± A rich voice bellowed across the room. He was human but with apparent dwarf ancestry. He had dark brown hair, brushed back and neatly tied in a blue ribbon, a short, well-trimmed beard to match, and a physique like nothing I had ever seen. His shoulders were outrageously broad, and he had almost the same proportions as a dwarf but was just under six feet tall. His bucket-sized neck made his voice sound like it bellowed out of a bullhorn.

    ¡°Travelers! Friends!¡± he barked joyously, ¡°Welcome to Longhorn!¡± He quickly surveyed the party, stopping at Heather. ¡°And welcome Priestess of Amania.¡± He bowed slightly. She returned it politely.

    ¡°I¡¯m The Duke of Longhorn, Yarnaen Tettienus Lupinus Longhorn.¡±

    A woman emerged from behind him and took her place at his side. She was nearly identical to the majordomo in height and build, but her features were a little softer, with an angularity that pointed straight into the room. Her pale skin was flawlessly made up, and her bright ginger hair was intricately braided, held in place by a hairnet and six dazzling pins.

    Her corset and dress worked overtime, hoisting her modest cleavage well above my eye level. The dress was a masterpiece of green fabric, adorned with gems and silver embroidery that shimmered in the light.

    Her long, sharp, polished nails added an extra edge to her already spidery hands, making her seem less like a person and more like an elegant arachnid. She was undeniably striking, but she was also terrifying¡ªlike a giant insect queen preparing to devour her prey. I did not want to be in her crosshairs.

    ¡°My wife, Aelia.¡± He said, beaming at her.

    ¡°Welcome to our home,¡± she said, bowing her head with a smile. ¡°I hope you find it comfortable.¡±

    ¡°Yer ''ospitality ain''t lackin''.¡± Jinx said with a smile and bowed. The rest of us followed his lead. ¡°And fank you for the use of yer facilities an'' refreshments.¡±

    ¡°You are most welcome,¡± she said, stepping from her husband¡¯s side and walking up to our group. She strolled by each of us, giving us a quick inspection. She stopped at me, ¡°You look adorable in that dress.¡± Oh, shit¡­

    ¡°Thank you, ma¡¯am,¡± I said, not knowing what else to say. I bowed my head. I could feel my face turning beat red. She was a striking woman, even if she was as scary as all Hells. She towered over me and radiated authority. My body responded in ways I didn¡¯t think were in my best interest.

    ¡°I¡¯m sorry,¡± Aelia said mischievously. ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to make you blush.¡± She reached out and gently brushed my fiery cheek, and a little surge of adrenaline and panic shot through me. It was like being licked by a lion. ¡°Half-elves are so rare out here. It¡¯s always such a pleasure to see one.¡±

    ¡°Um,¡± I gulped and put on a smile. ¡°Thanks?¡± I remembered something The Whisperer said about being fetishized. My cheeks lit up anew. The creep vibes off the woman were staggering, especially since the lady looked like a human mantis. But for some reason, I was still getting a little turned on. I was not used to this shit.

    ¡°That¡¯s very kind, especially coming from someone as beautiful as yourself.¡± She inched a bit closer to me. I felt tiny next to her. Her perfume was amazing, and I could feel a slight weakness in my knees; something about that scent made me feel¡­hard to say.

    ¡°So precious.¡± Aelia said, stepping back to admire me, ¡°And what is your name?¡±

    ¡°Regan. ma¡¯am,¡±

    ¡°You should call me Aelia.¡±

    ¡°Down, woman!¡± Longhorn chuckled at his wife theatrically. He strode up next to her. ¡°Our little farming province is not exactly in the middle of things.¡±

    He put his hand around his wife¡¯s waist, gently guiding her back a step. ¡°We don¡¯t often see such a wonderful variety of Imperial races in our home, so please excuse our over-enthusiasm for those visiting from distant locales.¡±

    ¡°No need to apologize,¡± Jinx said, jumping in with a big grin. ¡°I''m well an¡¯ envious of someone wot gets to live out in the beautiful natural splendor.¡±

    ¡°Well, there¡¯s plenty of space in my province for more.¡± Longhorn grinned at us. ¡°We do have business.¡± He led his wife to the side of the room with the fireplace.

    ¡°Lucretius, we will be moving to the study.¡±

    ¡°Guards!¡± Lucretius barked, snapping his fingers. The two guards stepped forward in unison.

    ¡°Just us,¡± Longhorn said flatly.

    ¡°Of course, my Duke,¡± Lucretius bowed deeply. ¡°I¡¯m only concerned with safety.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure a group that travels with a Priestess of Amania wouldn¡¯t have come all this way to bring us harm. This discussion will be held privately.¡±

    ¡°As you wish, my Duke.¡±

    He held his hand to us and ushered us into the room he came out of. Aelia stayed by the fireplace. I glanced back to make sure she stayed there. I wasn¡¯t ready to deal with that¡­whatever that was. She gave me a wink and smiled. I just grinned back at her politely and consciously steadied my breathing.

    Once the door closed, Longhorn dropped his enormous smile.

    ¡°By the fucking Gods, that woman,¡± he muttered after shutting the doors behind him. He held up a finger to us and quickly walked over to the enormous crescent-shaped desk at the end of the octagonal room. The walls had bookshelves, couches, and several small trophy cases. The wall behind the desk had a six-foot-wide map of the province.

    MAP ADDED:

    LONGHORN PROVINCE:

    WIDE PLANE COUNTY

    BLUE CREST MOUNTAIN COUNTY

    GREYSTONE FOREST COUNTY

    He quickly opened a drawer, pulled out a control rod similar to the one I got with my mage lamp, and tapped it on a brass plate on his desk. The room''s floor, ceiling, walls, and doors erupted with amber runes that circled and flashed for a moment before fading out.

    ¡°There,¡± he said, tossing the rod back into the drawer. ¡°This is not a conversation that will leave this room.¡± His cheerful demeanor quickly vanished with the fading of the privacy spell.

    ¡°First of all,¡± he said. ¡°Apologies on behalf of my household.¡± He looked at me. ¡°My lecherous wife most of all.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± I was hoping there was a hole somewhere in the study; that way, I could bury myself in it.

    ¡°She¡¯d like to sink her claws into anyone young and new that comes this way. So again, Sorry.¡±

    He settled in his chair and gestured for us to take ours. Six seats surrounded the desk, so everyone had one to choose from.

    ¡°And her cousin Lucretius is a bit of a prick as well. If I had any wisdom to put out in this world, it would be never to hire your in-laws.¡±

    ¡°Wot would you ''ave us be doin'' for you, yer lordship?¡± Jinx asked after they were all settled.

    ¡°I appreciate your straightforwardness,¡± Longhorn said. ¡°But my wife managed to wreck all sense of etiquette with her sloppy advances.¡±

    He settled back in his chair and examined each of us, his eyes studying our faces. He was all business now. ¡°With whom am I dealing?¡±

    ¡°Apologies, me lord,¡± Jinx said, pulling a ring out of his inventory and the notice. It was the same ring he touched to it to start the quest.

    ¡°I''m Jinx, party ''ead. This is Kev, the big geezer, ''eather the priestess, an'' the lovely satyr is Gem. We''re registered wiv the Mercenary Guild an'' authorized to accept posted quests.¡± He slid the ring and paper across the desk.

    ¡°And what about you,¡± Longhorn said, nodding to me.

    ¡°Regan Moon,¡± I said. ¡°Rogue.¡± I smiled with a slight shrug.

    ¡°Joined us on the road, she ¡®as,¡± Jinx said. ¡°She¡¯s in the party but not part of the guild.¡±

    ¡°I would imagine not.¡± He shrugged, looking at the paper and ring. ¡°I honestly couldn¡¯t give a load of my finest manure if you¡¯re with the guild or not, so have at.¡± He slipped the paper and ring back to Jinx. ¡°The job¡¯s simple enough, but the backstory¡¯s a pain in the fucking ass.¡±

    ¡°Let¡¯s get to it then,¡± Jinx said, accepting his paper and ring back before settling into his chair.

    ¡°About three months ago, A bunch of frosty bitches from the Cult of Gelruth came through my muddy little village out there.¡±

    ¡°Ah, Hells,¡± Kev interjected. ¡°Frost elves, right?¡±Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.

    ¡°Hells is right,¡± Longhorn said. ¡°Tall, blonde, and frozen to the core. It took a couple of days for me to find out, and I bounced their bony asses out just as quickly as that, but they managed to make off with a few of our people.¡±

    ¡°Those people being?¡± Jinx said.

    ¡°My former foster, Eric the Idiot, among some others. Since turning sixteen, he had pretty much moved into the inn. They either seduced him or enchanted him. Don¡¯t fucking know, don¡¯t fucking care.¡±

    ¡°You want him back then?¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s not that complicated. He¡¯s another of my wife¡¯s cousins, and I¡¯ve had to put up with the ungrateful brat for six years. He just came of age, so fuck it. He¡¯s not my responsibility anymore.¡±

    Longhorn spun around in his chair and opened a small cabinet behind him, pulling out a bottle and a handful of glasses. ¡°That woman and her fucking family.¡± He plunked the glasses down and decanted the bottle.

    ¡°She gave me an heir and a backup, so I can¡¯t begrudge her too much.¡± He poured out six glasses and pushed them out to us. He hesitated with Heather. She smiled and shrugged, reaching for the glass.

    ¡°But I lost my attraction for red-haired women after she managed to flood this castle with so many of her relatives that they displaced the rats.¡±

    He held up his glass and toasted bitterly. ¡°To missing rats.¡±

    ¡°Missing rats,¡± we murmured out of unison. We downed our drinks together. Oh, baby, I fucking loved it. It was a buttery whisky with an herbal aftertaste that warmed my throat and mouth with a slight tingle. Man, the booze was good in Murder World.

    ¡°I told you it was a long back story.¡± He set his empty glass down. ¡°They¡¯re squatting at an old keep straight north of here called Pridehelm.¡± He pointed to the top of the map where it was labeled.

    MAP LOCATION UPDATED:

    PRIDEHELM KEEP

    My internal map placed the keep just outside the province at the foot of the mountains. I briefly mused at this before Longhorn jumped back into the story.

    ¡°Now,¡± He continued. ¡°As you may have gathered, I wouldn¡¯t give up the left tit on a breastplate to get my wife¡¯s useless cousin back.¡± He poured another drink. ¡°But a month ago, one of those frost maidens pounds on my door with an offer of ransom.¡±

    ¡°Ransom?¡±

    ¡°I know, for a fact, that there are no men in the cult. I¡¯ve had it scouted out. So, they had some nefarious purpose for the men they captured here, and I¡¯m sure Eric cried out my name to get spared from whatever fate they had in store.¡±

    He took another shot. ¡°They wanted ten thousand GP for his safe return and gave me until the First Caedasin of Clarus to deliver.¡±

    He smirked. ¡°She¡¯s safely locked in my dungeon.¡±

    ¡°So why not send your men?¡± Jinx asked.

    ¡°Different province.¡± I pointed up at the map.

    Longhorn nodded at me with a raised eyebrow. ¡°Right, you are, little one.¡± He slapped his glass on the desk. ¡°And fucking Sardrod Hillrock wouldn¡¯t mind in the least if a dragon cult tormented my people for all eternity. But, if I send my own men up there, he¡¯ll take that as a hostile act, and I would have to deal with an Imperial grievance.¡±

    ¡°Right then,¡± Jinx said. ¡°The offer?¡±

    ¡°I won¡¯t pay anyone ten thousand GP for the safe return of my idiot-in-law, who I¡¯m not even legally responsible for.¡± He poured another drink and capped the bottle. ¡°But I will pay ten thousand GP for someone to raise Pridehelm Keep to the ground.¡±

    ¡°Fire, all right then?¡±

    ¡°Burn the whole fucking place and every icy bitch in it.¡± Longhorn pulled out the quest sheet from his desk and quickly noted it, sliding it forward. ¡°There¡¯s about twenty of them in all, I think. All magic users, and probably not that powerful, based on the one I have downstairs.¡±

    ¡°Give us a sec, Your Grace,¡± Jinx said.

    Party Chat:

    Jinx: Thoughts?

    Gem: We weren¡¯t planning on making that much on the entire tour.

    Kev: I know, so what do we do then?

    Regan: He wants us to kill twenty people. Why am I the only one that has a concern about that?

    Jinx: Because you¡¯re the only one that don¡¯t know anything about dragon cults, love. They want to bring an all-powerful apex predator into this world. Even Heather would be on board with it.

    Regan: Why the fuck would anyone want to do that?

    Gem: They believe the dragon will give them power¡ªand frost elves like the cold. So, a frost dragon sounds like fun for them.

    Kev: I¡¯m in. We can take them.

    Gem: Me too.

    Jinx: Regan?

    Regan: What the fuck ever. Sure. By the way, why isn¡¯t Heather in the party?

    Jinx: She was a bitch earlier.

    Gem: We like her now, though.

    Regan: We should totally invite her in.

    Jinx: We¡¯re done.

    ¡°I do have a question,¡± I asked, raising my hand like in school. Longhorn looked at me momentarily; I put it down quickly, realizing I looked like an idiot.

    ¡°And what would that be?¡± he replied, his voice starting to slur slightly from the drinks.

    ¡°Two, come to think of it.¡±

    ¡°Go on,¡± he said, starting to look irritated.

    ¡°Why pick us?¡±

    ¡°Honestly,¡± He said, a frown forming on his face. ¡°No one else has come.¡± He leaned back in his chair. ¡°Not out here in this Gods¡¯ forsaken country.¡±

    ¡°No one?¡±

    ¡°And time is running out. It¡¯s the Third Arcomin of Funa already. So, I have less than two weeks until the deadline.¡± He shrugged. ¡°I have no idea what will happen if I don¡¯t. I¡¯m not worried about them, but no one puts the screws to Longhorn.¡±

    ¡°Okay then.¡±

    ¡°You had another question?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, that whiskey. I don¡¯t suppose you could pour me out another glass?¡±

    The party just looked at me like I just asked him if it was okay for me to take a dump on his desk.

    Longhorn bellowed and clapped his hands. He raised a finger to me with a smile and spun his chair around. He pulled a sealed bottle out of the cabinet and set it on the desk before me.

    ¡°A gift.¡± He scooted it toward me. ¡°For one who appreciates the good stuff and has had to put up with my wife.¡±

    ¡°Thanks,¡± I gleefully took the bottle and slipped it into storage. ¡°You¡¯re the best Duke ever.¡±

    The dwarven features of his ancestry lit up with an expansive grin. ¡°You¡¯re most welcome.¡±

    He took two beats as he looked at us before rising to his feet and holding out his massive hand.

    ¡°Do we have an agreement?¡±

    ¡°Yeah, we do,¡± Jinx said.

    He stood, and we all joined him. Jinx shoved his hand into Longhorn¡¯s, and the deal was done.

    ¡°That bird you got locked in yer cellar,¡± he pointed down. ¡°We¡¯ll take ¡®er wif us, that¡¯ll ¡®elp get us in.¡±

    ¡°My thoughts exactly.¡± Longhorn pushed the document to Jinx. ¡°I¡¯ll put spotters on the roof. When they see smoke coming out of the wretched place, I¡¯ll release payment through the Guild system.¡±

    ¡°Agreed.¡± Jinx read the paper and pushed his ring against it.

    PARTY QUEST

    RAISING OF PRIDEHELM KEEP

    The Duke of Longhorn has had enough of the Cult of Gelruth. After taking several citizens hostage utilizing seduction or enchantment, including Eric the Idiot, the cult has gone too far. Raise Pridehelm Keep to the ground with fire and eliminate the threat.

    REWARD:

    10,000GP

    We emerged from the castle and were directed around the right toward the dungeon entrance. We were allowed to switch clothing before leaving and were ready to trudge back through the mud to the carriage with the cultist prisoner.

    The sun was shining brightly in the mid-morning sky, bathing the courtyard. Morning dew vaporized off the heated dark grey stone, leaving eerie clouds of fog.

    ¡°We should be hitting the keep right before nightfall,¡± Jinx said. ¡°We just have to tow this witch with us, but she won¡¯t be giving us any trouble.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m all about eliminating the Cult members there,¡± Heather said. ¡°But the deception you plan on using is a little distasteful.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s the safer option,¡± I said. ¡°If we use a smile to get them to open the door and let us in, then we have the benefit of surprise.¡± I skipped a little to keep up with the group. ¡°If we just start blasting fire at the door, we lose our advantage in the fight.¡±

    We reached the entrance to the dungeon, where a cheerful dwarf stood guard. He raised a hand in greeting, his grin as bright as the lantern hanging above the door.

    ¡°Name¡¯s Stibs,¡± he said, his voice hearty and warm. ¡°But folks ¡®round here call me Ironbeard. Darn glad to meet you!¡±

    Jinx, the big grump, snorted and handed him the orders from the duke. Stibs read it over and unlocked the door with a grunt and a hoot. He passed through and yanked the heavy door closed with a clang that rattled my ears. He called out an apology to us from behind the door.

    ¡°I understand the tactics,¡± Heather said. ¡°The whole thing is just disturbing for me.¡±

    ¡°Yeah, but dragon cults are hard on the world,¡± Kev said. ¡°I know the Church of Amania would back us up on this.¡±

    ¡°The Goddess supports cleansing the world of tainted beliefs,¡± Heather said. ¡°I wish we had a better approach, is all.¡±

    ¡°They''re gonna be dug into a dungeon wiv only one way in or out, most likely.¡± Jinx said. ¡°So, the furver we get in there wivout fightin¡¯, the better. We can ''old up and fight from a defendable position.¡±

    ¡°So, what¡¯s the deal with these guys anyway?¡± I asked.

    ¡°They are basically at war with half the continent,¡± Heather said. ¡°If they unleash a dragon, it will decimate everything.¡±

    ¡°So, fuck those guys then?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Kev said. ¡°Zero mercy.¡±

    ¡°But can they, I mean, really do that?¡±

    ¡°In theory,¡± Jinx said. ¡°''s been done before, a long, long time ago. Took out a chunk of wot we call central America in about a week. The thing''s still there. They''re lazy fucks, so they don''t travel far once they''ve got a layer established.¡±

    ¡°That was thousands of years ago. Most of these cultists are just delusional,¡± said Heather. ¡°There¡¯s very little chance they have the magic to summon a dragon.¡±

    ¡°But they do a bunch of nasty shit trying,¡± Gem said. ¡°Those witches weren¡¯t recruiting. They were harvesting.¡±

    The door opened, and the guard pulled the prisoner we were waiting for by her chains.

    ¡°Oops,¡± I whispered, my face getting hot and the usual rush of bodily excitement.

    ¡°Down girl,¡± Gem whispered back.

    The prisoner was a frost elf, looking like a Norwegian supermodel cast in a Ziggy Stardust-inspired Christmas special.

    She stood about six feet tall, her athletic frame clad in a short black robe with a thigh-high slit and a plunging neckline that didn¡¯t leave much to the imagination. Her long, muscular legs looked like they belonged on the cover of a fantasy fitness magazine.

    Her bright blue eyes glimmered beneath a cascade of white hair like freshly fallen snow¡ªyes, snow. Her pale skin caught the morning sunlight, glowing with a faint blue shimmer that made her look otherworldly. Even her lips were a deep, frosty blue, like she''d just kissed the Arctic.

    Her features were smooth and sharp, strikingly androgynous. She was flat-chested, broad-shouldered, and carried herself with a kind of regal elegance that the chains couldn¡¯t diminish.

    ¡°Not fond of that sun,¡± she said, turning her face away from the morning light. She spoke with something that sounded like an Eastern European accent. ¡°I hope you¡¯re here to take me back home.¡±

    ¡°The Duke has agreed to your terms,¡± Kev said. ¡°We¡¯re hired to deliver payment and retrieve Eric.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s good.¡± She said with a smile. ¡°My sisters were getting pretty tired of having him around. The novelty certainly didn¡¯t last more than a week.¡±

    She surveyed the group as the guard unlocked the shackles. ¡°Oh, look at you bunch.¡± She said. ¡°A Priestess of Amania in tow, really? I certainly hope you¡¯ll try to convert me on the way back. It should be fun.¡±

    ¡°If you are willing to listen to the word,¡± Heather said. ¡°I¡¯ll do my best to explain it.¡±

    ¡°And a brute,¡± she said, ignoring Heather. ¡°A ranger and a wizard, of course.¡± She stopped and looked at me. ¡°And just what are you supposed to be?¡±

    ¡°The comic relief,¡± I said flatly. ¡°I¡¯m the funny one.¡±

    The cultist chuckled. ¡°And I thought that was what the Priestess was for.¡± She rubbed her wrists when the shackles were removed. ¡°I¡¯m Acolyte Leoleth of the Church of Gelruth, Lord of Ice.¡±

    ¡°Be a good acolyte so we don¡¯t have to chain you up,¡± Kev said.

    ¡°I¡¯d gladly let you,¡± Leoleth said with a coy smile. ¡°I¡¯m sure I¡¯d be quite an enjoyable prisoner. I¡¯ll be at your mercy all the way there.¡± She let out a sigh that dripped with low-budget drama.  ¡°The guards here just don¡¯t have the stamina to keep me interested, and once I get home, I won¡¯t be the center of attention anymore.¡±

    With a collective eye roll, we led the frost elf out of the castle grounds.

    The muddy street met us at the gate. Two of the duke¡¯s men led us down the middle of town, with the party in a defensive formation behind them. I was on point for some reason, with Leoleth directly behind me, flanked by Kev and Jinx. Heather and Gem took up the rear. When the mud got deep, I struggled through; I glanced back and saw Leoleth gracefully stomping ankle-deep without breaking stride. I almost got run over by the towering elf woman.

    ¡°It must be a challenge for you,¡± Leoleth said in mock sympathy. ¡°Such little legs in such a tall world. Is that why you live in a dwarf kingdom?¡±

    ¡°Real estate¡¯s more affordable,¡± I grunted at her. ¡°Less icy bitches too.¡±

    ¡°Ouch,¡± the elf said. ¡°Little, funny, and mean. And here I thought you were just little.¡± I stepped up my pace to keep ahead. ¡°But seriously, what is your role in the group?¡±

    ¡°Bass player. It sucks because the lead guitarist and the frontman catch all the tail.¡± It was obvious to me that Leoleth was digging for intelligence on the party, and while it was clear what roles the others had, she didn¡¯t know what I did. I pinged the rest of the group on chat, telling them not to reveal any information.

    ¡°I have no idea what that even means.¡±

    ¡°It means I work as hard as everybody else in the band, but I don¡¯t get the recognition because my instrument is not as flashy. So, all the chicks dig the other guys.¡±

    ¡°Chicks? You mean little birds?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± I said. ¡°Babes, hotties, smokin¡¯ mamas, foxes, groupies, floozies.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not sure if you¡¯re the funny one or not,¡± Leoleth said as we reached the stables.

    ¡°Unfortunately, she is.¡± Said Kev.

    ¡°So, you¡¯re the little pink-haired jester girl.¡±

    ¡°You pegged me.¡± I smiled at her.

    The stable hands brought the horses around, and Gem and Kev started hitching them up.

    ¡°So,¡± I said, leaning casually against the carriage, ¡°How¡¯s the whole dragon-summoning gig going? Like, on a scale of stupid to bat-shit crazy, where does that even land?¡±

    Leoleth straightened, her frost-blue eyes gleaming with pride. ¡°We work to bring his glory to Nya. Such a goal could take years, even centuries. But he will reward all of us with life and power beyond anything this world has ever seen.¡±

    ¡°Centuries, huh?¡± I snorted. ¡°With your looks and that bod, you could be modeling in Nya¡¯s version of Paris, rolling up in limos, sipping champagne. But sure, centuries in a basement works, too.¡±

    ¡°Again,¡± She gave me a flat look. ¡°You make no sense.¡±

    ¡°No sense? C¡¯mon, girlfriend. You could be living your best life, enjoying Hot Girl Summer. Instead, you''re cooped up in a dungeon with a bunch of smelly geeks trying to summon a dragon that¡¯ll probably eat you. Sounds like a dream.¡±

    ¡°You know nothing, you little half-breed!¡± Leoleth hissed.

    ¡°Who''s the mean one now.¡± I glared at her. ¡°You¡¯ll like the inside of the carriage, nice and dark like your basement.¡±

    I opened the door and gestured for her to enter. Leoleth slipped inside without another word. Gem and Jinx shrugged and entered after her, followed by Heather. I climbed up to the box to join Kev. I didn¡¯t want to spend the next half day talking to that icy bitch.

    ¡°Catty,¡± Kev smiled when I sat next to him. ¡°Here,¡± he said, handing the reins to me. ¡°You need to learn this stuff anyway.¡±

    I struggled to get the horses moving, even with Kev¡¯s help. After a few awkward moments of trying, I managed to get the carriage moving and led it slowly around the livery and out the town''s main gate.

    ¡°Bye-bye, Mud Town.¡± I sang to myself as we got back onto the highway.

    It was a half a day¡¯s ride north from Longhorn to the keep. The Imperial Highway out here was impressive. It was wide enough for two carriages to pass by each other easily and was elevated above the muddy fields of wheat and corn that the province was famous for. Small communes were clustered along the highway along the road on elevated land.

    NEW SKILL:

    COACH DRIVING: LEVEL 1

    The skill appeared about thirty minutes after we entered the fields. Almost immediately, I understood how to steer the coach more effectively.

    ¡°Cool,¡± I said. ¡°I just earned a skill.¡±

    ¡°It¡¯s pretty amazing,¡± Kev said. ¡°You Rifters are lucky like that. The skills come easy from just a bit of practice until you get caught up.¡±

    ¡°All I¡¯ve done so far is stab stuff.¡±

    ¡°There,¡± Kev said, pointing ahead and to the right. ¡°Those are bog rats.¡±

    I saw bipedal animals scurrying around the rows of corn, eating and scattering. They were about the size of golden retrievers, covered in filthy grey and brown fur, and had long rat faces.

    ¡°Gross,¡±

    ¡°You have a bow, right?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°Climb up and shoot as many of those things as you can as we go by. Those are big rats, a pest for the farmers because they eat everything. And they are too nasty to just kill with a hoe.¡±

    I climbed to the top of the carriage and pulled my bow out of inventory. I nocked the first arrow and aimed. The motion was smooth, like motor memory. I had done it before but hadn¡¯t thought about accuracy or range. This time, I took my time and imagined where the arrow would fly. I pulled back, aiming at the nearest bog rat, and released it.

    The arrow flew wide, extremely wide.

    ¡°Fuck,¡± I muttered. Kev chuckled.

    I pulled another arrow and did the same; the result was the same. I pulled a third and targeted a rat further down the road. I let the arrow fly, and it still missed with another wide margin.

    ¡°Keep at it,¡± Kev called back to me. ¡°Just don¡¯t miss so bad that you hit me.¡±

    ¡°Challenge excepted.¡± I barked at him, pulling another arrow out of her inventory.

    It took twenty-one tries before I finally hit one, which prompted a congratulatory message:

    DEFEATED BOG RAT

    +10XP

    There was no other reward, just a little XP.

    ¡°XP don¡¯t feed the family,¡± I muttered, pulling out another arrow.

 Chapter Eleven: You try keeping twenty women happy for three months.

    Chapter Eleven: You try keeping twenty women happy for three months.

    SHORT BOW SKILL INCREASED

    Short Bow: Level 2

    +1 DEXTERITY

    You have used this weapon enough to increase your proficiency. All short bow attacks now increase the chance of connecting and causing damage. All arrows shot by a short bow now inflict 1.5x damage to critical areas on successful attacks.

    By the time the level-up came, I had almost exhausted my iron arrow supply as we passed through the fields. I had probably killed thirty or so bog rats. I put the bow away and slipped back into the seat next to Kev, my fingers and hands burning with fatigue. We were now passing out of the low-lying fields and entering the highlands at the foot of the mountains.

    ¡°You level up?¡± Kev asked with a chuckle. ¡°Or just run out of arrows.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not completely out.¡±

    ¡°A ranged attack will be good.¡± He added the next part a bit hesitantly. ¡°Especially as an assassin.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m not an assassin,¡± I said quickly, glaring at him.

    ¡°You¡¯re not going to train any other Rogue jobs out here. So, you might as well focus on getting it up as high as possible until we get to the city.¡±

    ¡°The assassin skill only rises when I kill people.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Kev pulled back on the reins and brought us to a stop. ¡°Not a lot of fun.¡±

    He hopped down and gestured for me to follow. ¡°We¡¯re getting close to the keep. We need the frost elf up here so they don¡¯t attack us.¡± I joined him on the ground, and he slid open the door.

    ¡°Switch, " he said into the compartment. Jinx emerged with Leoleth after a second. She was laughing, trying to catch her breath.

    ¡°Your priestess is hilarious,¡± she managed between gasps, still struggling to get the words out. ¡°And here I thought all the Amania types were dull.¡±

    ¡°You should see her drunk,¡± I replied. ¡°She¡¯s like Girls Gone Wild.¡±

    Jinx gave me the same look our old babysitter used to give my parents when Megan and I were six¡ªright before she pocketed an extra five bucks for the trouble.

    He led the giggling frost elf up to the carriage box. Kev and I entered the compartment to a snickering Gem and an annoyed-looking Heather.

    ¡°No,¡± Heather said before I could even open my mouth. She waved her finger, turned away from us, and faced the corner.

    Gem snorted. ¡°I like her.¡±

    We sat silently as the carriage rumbled along the highway, the crunch of gravel beneath the wheels filling the air. Eventually, the sound shifted to the hollow clatter of wood as we crossed a bridge spanning the very dwarvenly named Narrow River. That was the end of Longhorn¡¯s territory.

    I took a breath, bracing myself for the ugly business ahead. My stomach twisted at the thought of what I would be doing. It was still a broad-stroke plan, but I¡¯m sure the party needed more from me than a plucky personality. I didn¡¯t think this would be any better than the camp. It was more like a different shade of terrible. At least, thank the Gods, we¡¯d be spreading the burden a little more evenly.

    I blinked at the phrase, a flicker of surprise breaking through my grim mood. Thank the Gods? That was new. Come to think of it, I¡¯d been saying Hells, too. Going native, I guess.

    ¡°They¡¯re worse than slavers,¡± Heather said. My face might as well have been a billboard on I25. There was no question about what I was thinking. ¡°Do you know how a summoning works?¡±

    ¡°You know I don¡¯t know anything.¡±

    ¡°You need a living vessel to summon a creature from another realm.¡±

    ¡°Like some dude, you pick up at an inn?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Gem said. ¡°It yanks their soul out of their body. Then the body is infused with magic while shoving someone else¡¯s soul in.¡±

    ¡°The magic infusion then molds the body to fit the new soul.¡± Heather finished.

    ¡°What happens to the old soul?¡±

    ¡°Nothing good.¡± Heather looked ill. ¡°It¡¯s consumed by the entity that takes over the empty vessel, giving it the boost it needs to come to life in this world.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s some sinister shit right there.¡± I wanted to thank the world of magic for bringing me to Murder World and all this fun, happy stuff.

    ¡°They are sacrificed to be used in a summoning,¡± Gem said. ¡°Or they are used as a spiritual power source.¡±

    ¡°Power source?¡±

    ¡°First, they are killed, and then life energy is siphoned into a crystal that can be used to power rituals.¡±

    ¡°Do they lose their souls that way?¡±

    ¡°No,¡± Heather said. ¡°It filters the soul energy out and retains the life energy. Souls aren¡¯t good to anybody in this world, so no one has a good reason to capture one.¡±

    ¡°What if they¡¯re just assholes?¡±

    ¡°They haven¡¯t invented anything that can hold a soul, other than a body, of course.¡±

    ¡°Yay, us,¡± I said, my hands up. ¡°Haven¡¯t started harvesting souls yet.¡± Then the weird girl gears started turning. ¡°Is there a way to transfer a soul from one body to another?¡±

    Gem looked at me like I was crazy. ¡°You would need a living body without a soul. They¡¯re a bit hard to come by.¡±

    ¡°Off-topic by about a thousand miles,¡± Kev grumbled as he shuffled around. ¡°We haven¡¯t talked tactics beyond the basics.¡±

    ¡°Okay,¡± I said coldly. ¡°What do you have in mind.¡±

    We went over options, keeping up with Jinx on chat while we planned an approach to the problem. Most of them would involve me raising my Assassin job by about a thousand levels.

    ¡°You don¡¯t want me in there,¡± Heather said. ¡°They won¡¯t let me anyway, so I might as well sit it out.¡±

    ¡°We made need you,¡± I said, giving her a pouty look.

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Kev said. ¡°But she¡¯ll put the cultists on edge the second she crosses their threshold. We need them to feel like they are in control.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m sure they are anticipating an ambush.¡±

    ¡°Not with only three of us.¡±

    ¡°Four,¡± I corrected.

    ¡°No,¡± Kev said. ¡°You sneak in after. You¡¯re going to make sure our flank is clear.¡±

    ¡°Stabby Stabby, Joy Joy.¡± I sang sarcastically.

    ¡°I told you,¡± Kev said. ¡°You¡¯ll be training up that assassin job while you¡¯re out here.¡±

    Group Chat:

    Jinx: Arrived.

    It had been about two more hours of planning and plotting, and I couldn¡¯t figure out a strategy that seemed to work that involved everyone walking into a den of homicidal cultists hell-bent on delivering frozen death across the countryside. I arranged my inventory in my head accordingly and climbed out onto the carriage''s roof. It¡¯s time to get into character.

    ¡°There it is, Pridehelm Keep,¡± Jinx said.

    The word pride didn¡¯t exactly resonate with the place. What once was a castle, a proper castle, was a ruin now. There used to be an outer wall, but it was almost completely gone except for one side on the east.

    The keep itself was a single round tower that seemed reasonably intact. For some reason, a makeshift rope bridge was strung behind the east wall and the tower¡¯s roof. As the sun set, I could see a single figure standing on top, watching us approach. Three more came out of the keep, hands raised, with crackles of magic visible between their stretched-out fingers. They were all clad in the same robes as Leoleth.

    ¡°I can see why you were anxious to get back here,¡± I said up to Leoleth. ¡°The place smells like body odor and Hot Pockets.¡±

    ¡°Being as short as you are.¡± Leoleth snarled. ¡°I¡¯m surprised you can smell anything other than your own asshole.¡±

    ¡°I thought we were friends now.¡± I pouted at her. ¡°And then you come at me with the short jokes.¡±

    I waved to the trio on the ground with a toothy grin. ¡°Why aren¡¯t there any dudes in your cult anyway?¡±

    ¡°There are.¡± Leoleth snorted. ¡°But we are an all-female order; we don¡¯t want the distraction of men in our midst.¡±

    ¡°All female order?¡± I mused out loud. ¡°Must be catty as fuck.¡±

    ¡°Is she coming in with us?¡± Leoleth asked Jinx with a pleading look.

    ¡°No,¡± Jinx said, throwing a nasty look back at me. ¡°She ain''t gonna get off the fuckin'' coach.¡±

    ¡°Come on!¡± I barked back a Jinx. ¡°You¡¯re not serious, are you?¡±

    ¡°I ain''t gonna let you go down there with us and muck up everythin'' with your bleedin'' mouth. Stay with the coach and the priestess.¡±

    I plopped down on the top of the carriage and sat cross-legged, pouting at Jinx. ¡°Criss Crisscross applesauce,¡± I muttered bitterly, loud enough for everyone to hear. ¡°I wanted to see the sacrificial altar.¡±

    ¡°Why do you keep her?¡± Leoleth asked Jinx.

    The carriage pulled in beyond the broken wall. The three cultist women still held defensive positions by the door. There was a small lean-to built against the east wall. I could see a bed roll and a small chest inside it. I doubted these elves had much in the way of wealth, but I marked it in my mind to check later.

    The frost elves standing guard looked so much like Leoleth that I thought they could be related. Either that or, in the waning light of day, I couldn¡¯t catch the subtle differences in appearance.

    ¡°Welcome back, sister.¡± The middle one said.

    ¡°Thank you, sisters.¡± Leoleth sat up in her seat, beaming with pride.

    ¡°Mother was getting worried,¡± the one on the left chimed in. ¡°She thought there would be no bargain with the duke.¡±

    ¡°Are you, like, all really sisters and stuff?¡± I called out to them. ¡°I have a twin sister, but she really doesn¡¯t look like me.¡±

    Leoleth turned and glared at me. ¡°Lucky her.¡± she hissed.

    She turned back to her fellow cultists. ¡°We have our bargain. These mercenaries were hired to deliver the ransom and retrieve the duke¡¯s cousin.¡±

    ¡°The duke¡¯s wife¡¯s cousin.¡± I corrected.

    Jinx snarled back at me. ¡°Shut it.¡±

    ¡°I just wanna make sure we get the right guy.¡±

    ¡°Regan!¡±

    ¡°Sorry.¡±

    Leoleth cleared her throat.

    ¡°Why didn¡¯t the duke send his own men?¡± The middle cultist asked.

    ¡°''Cause, sweet''eart, this land belongs to Sardrod Hillrock, and he won''t take kindly to Duke Longhorn marchin'' his men over that back there.¡± Jinx pointed over his shoulder at the Narrow River.

    ¡°So, bring him on out!¡± I bellowed. ¡°We need to get this done; I got a date back at Longhorn!¡±

    ¡°You''ll ''ave a date with my boot up your arse if you don''t shut up!¡± Jinx was standing in the box, glaring down at me. I looked up at him sheepishly.

    ¡°Seriously though, ladies,¡± he said, turning back. ¡°Bring ¡®em out so we can get on our way.¡±

    ¡°We won¡¯t bring anyone out until we have verified funds.¡±

    ¡°And we don¡¯t show you funds until we have the duke¡¯s cousin,¡± Jinx said.

    ¡°Wife¡¯s cousin.¡± I corrected.

    ¡°Wife¡¯s cousin,¡± Jinx said, flipping his riding whip back over his head with a little snap. I easily dodged it but made a play of rolling onto my side.

    ¡°If we deliver him to you, what stops you from leaving.¡± The middle one said.

    ¡°Integrity, Love.¡±

    ¡°From a band of mercenaries.¡± The one on the right snorted.

    ¡°I guess we ain¡¯t the trusting types then, are we?¡± I barked, puffing up my chest.

    ¡°No.¡± the middle one replied, throwing a nasty look at me.

    ¡°You knew we was coming,¡± Jinx said. ¡°What was the plan?¡±

    ¡°We were going to bring you down to the jail and let you collect him there.¡±

    ¡°Inside your dungeon? You ain¡¯t serious?¡±

    ¡°We weren¡¯t sure you would be coming in the first place.¡±

    ¡°Here¡¯s the thing, love,¡± Jinx said. ¡°Longhorn got his pride hurt by you lot.¡± He gestured to the keep. ¡°You may be dug in pretty good, but if this goes south in any way, he will come across that river, consequences be damned.¡±

    The three looked into space for a moment, and a party chat ensued.

    ¡°Do I look like that when I chat?¡± I asked.

    ¡°Shh!¡± Jinx said.

    ¡°Mother will meet you inside. Bring the payment.¡±

    ¡°Payment will be held in inventory between me and my people,¡± Jinx said. He pointed his thumb over his shoulder at me as I shot up excitedly.

    ¡°Not you.¡± I sat back down and pouted again.

    ¡°The priestess will not be coming,¡± Leoleth said to him. ¡°Or little jester girl.¡±

    ¡°Hey!¡± I yelled.

    ¡°Never entered my mind,¡± Jinx said.

    And on cue, Gem and Kev emerged from the sliding door and stood by the carriage. Jinx climbed down, followed by Leoleth. He crossed over to the side of the carriage and joined a loose three-way circle with Kev and Gem, where they supposedly exchanged inventory items. Jinx passed them each a sack of gold that they stored away.

    I slipped down the carriage and landed next to the group. Jinx pointed at the running board, and I sat on it, looking as sad as possible.

    The group cautiously entered the door to the keep dungeon. Leoleth was with the middle cultist in the lead, with Jinx, Gem, and Kev in the middle, and the other two cultists. All passed single file through the doorway. The door swung wide and ground noisily to a close. I checked the roof first to see if the sentry was looking down and dashed for the door before it closed, activating Stealth as soon as I passed the threshold.

    The stairs leading down were wet and slippery, and it was no small effort to keep from sliding down the steps as soon as I hopped past the closing door. The others were ahead, Jinx and Gem loudly talking and making a racket. I equipped my black armor, cloak, Sick Stick, and a second dagger in my belt just in case. I sighed and started following the line.

    I wasn¡¯t sure if these cultists were necessarily combat-trained or not. Jinx thought most of them were ritual magic specialists since they were busy trying to summon the impossible into this world. I¡¯d have less of a problem gutting them if that were the case.

    The passage leading down was narrow, forcing the group to go single-file. I could see them clearly enough a few yards away and crept up quickly to the last one. I counted down from ten as I did; it steadied my hand and nerves. On one, I messaged Jinx.

    Regan: NOW!

    Jinx erupted in violent, hacking coughs and staggered forward in the narrow downward passage.

    ¡°Hey!¡± Gem yelped. ¡°You okay?¡± She could hear her slapping Jinx hard on the back as he coughed and wretched.

    From behind, I slammed Sick Stick into the temple of the last cultist in line.

    SNEAK ATTACK ON GELRUTH CULTIST.

    16 POINTS DAMAGE WITH SICK STICK DAGGER

    X3 SNEAK ATTACK DAMAGE

    X4.5 CRITICAL WEAKNESS DAMAGE

    216VP DAMAGE

    TARGET SUFFERS STUN

    TIME REMAINING: 3 SECONDS

    TARGET SUFFERS FROM TILT-A-HURL DEBUFF

    TIME REMAINING: 5 SECONDS

    TARGET HAS SUFFERED CATASTROPHIC DAMAGE TO A VITAL AREA.

    -300VP/SECOND

    I clamped my hand over her mouth and lowered her onto the steps. The message popped up before she finished laying down:

    YOU HAVE DEFEATED GELRUTH CULTIST.

    +500xp

    CORPSE:

    GELRUTH CULTIST.

    LOOTABLE ITEMS:

    Cultist robe of enhanced ritualism

    SICK STICK ENCHANTED DAGGER OF SUPERIOR QUALITY

    DAGGER, MEDIUM QUALITY

    POWER Chrystal, 40EP charges

    Bag of ritual ingredients

    3SP

    15CP

    DO YOU WANT TO LOOT?

    ASSASSIN JOB ADVANCED TO LEVEL 2

    +1 DEXTERITY

    +1 CHARISMA

    +1 INTELLIGENCE

    DAGGAR ADVANCED TO LEVEL 4

    +1 DEXTERITY

    +1 CHARISMA

    I quickly looted the corpse and skipped to the next one while Jinx kept his fit.

    She was marching down, focused on Jinx¡¯s coughing fit. I was three steps behind her, so I was right about at her height. I twirled Sick Stick, gave a little leap, and landed on her back, the blade digging into her neck.

    The One and Done skill activated as soon as the dagger broke the skin. The body practically folded in half, and I had to catch it with one arm, bracing myself against the wall with my legs and free arm. I lowered her down the steps and looted everything before continuing in Stealth after the group. I topped off my AP with a potion.

    ¡°So, this is a big room, only one of ya in ¡®ere!¡± Jinx said as they emerged from the narrow stairs, took a right-hand turn, and presumably headed down another passageway. He was feeding me as much information as he could. We could use chat, but this was faster, and I only had seconds to react. I made my way, trying to keep pace and maintain stealth.

    Another cultist stood, watching the passageway the group had passed, shaking her head. I didn¡¯t even count before slamming my dagger into her temple. Like the first one, she died in just a couple of seconds from critical damage. I quickly yanked the body to the side, out of sight of the passageway, and continued, not bothering to loot it.

    ¡°Hey there, love!¡± Jinx barked at the next junction. ¡°Jus¡¯ you down ¡®ere?¡±

    This cultist didn¡¯t turn to look at the group but was staring up the dark corridor I was bouncing down. I skipped to increase my pace. She was carrying what looked like a large grain sack over her shoulder. I dropped stealth and slipped my dagger behind my back.

    ¡°Slow down,¡± I whined, just quiet enough for her to hear. I entered the room briskly, shaking my head with a smile, my hair bouncing around comically. ¡°I¡¯m the one with the short legs.¡± The cultist gave me a slight smile.

    I walked up and slammed Sick Stick up under her ribs. She lurched, dropping the heavy bag on top of me. I let go of my dagger as I struggled to hold up the heavy sack.

    I took a few steps back, holding the fifty-pound bag still over my head.

    She stumbled. She looked down at the handle sticking out of her with genuine surprise. I got a notice of the Tilt-a-Hurl debuff.

    ¡°Shit,¡± I whisper-shouted.

    Her hands went to the hilt but paused. Her eyes grew wide. I knew that look. I was about to drown in whatever it was that frost elves ate for dinner.

    I threw the sack at her face as hard as I could, knocking her off balance. She fell onto her back, banging her head. The sack landed on top of her chest.

    She was still alive, suffering from the Tilt-a-Hurl debuff and a minor concussion. I must have missed her heart. I heaved the sack over her face and sat on it. She kicked and floundered. I checked her hands and wrists for storage devices, but there weren¡¯t any. It was a slow countdown death, unfortunately. When she expired, I just left her on the icy stone floor. I hopped up and yanked my magic dagger out of her torso.Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.

    You¡¯ve got to be fucking kidding me!

    ASSASSIN JOB ADVANCED TO LEVEL 3

    +1 DEXTERITY

    +1 CHARISMA

    +1 INTELLIGENCE

    The skill advanced way faster than I thought it would. Then I remembered what Jinx and The Whisperer said about advancement as a Rifter. I groaned as I moved down the hall.

    ¡°Oy!¡± Jinx bellowed from down the corridor. ¡°This is where ¡®e¡¯s ¡®eld up then?¡±

    Regan: The route behind us is clear.

    Jinx: Okay, Love, there¡¯s no one guarding the duke¡¯s cousin, so we need to take these two out.

    Regan: Duke¡¯s wife¡¯s cousin.

    There was a pause. I think Jinx was looking for a way to kick me out of the chat.

    Regan: Then what?

    Jinx: We move through the dungeon, eliminating the rest.

    Regan: That¡¯s all we have for a plan?

    Jinx: Just get down here.

    Regan: I¡¯m right behind you. Hang on.

    I slinked into the room while the others still had their backs turned. It was long, like a wide hallway, with three cages built into the wall to the left of the passageway. Each cage had straw bedding and the obligatory bucket because that¡¯s the height of dungeon hygiene. The floor? Good old hard stone slabs. It¡¯s a dungeon, like, what else would they use?

    A single mage lamp hung overhead, casting a small pool of light in the center and leaving the edges draped in shadow. I made myself a stealthy little hiding spot in a dusty, dank corner. On the far side of the room, another passage led out, probably to more bad things. Leoleth and the cultist were so laser-focused on Jinx and the others that they hadn¡¯t noticed their friends hadn¡¯t made it.

    ¡°As you can see,¡± the cultist said with a flourish, ¡°He is here and healthy.¡±

    ¡°Healthy enough,¡± said a young man¡¯s voice from the middle cage. He was the only prisoner in the room. ¡°You try keeping twenty women happy for three months. Especially on a diet of sheep brains and hard tack.¡±

    ¡°You can¡¯t keep one woman happy,¡± the cultist said dryly, her tone as sharp as the glare she shot him.

    ¡°You, of all people, should know that¡¯s not true...¡±

    Eric the Idiot was not what I was expecting.

    He leaned lazily against the cage¡¯s crossbeam, his hands draped out like he didn¡¯t have a care in the world. He wore a well cut dress shirt that had clearly seen better (and cleaner) days. He had tights and a codpiece that made a bold statement about confidence. He had red hair tied back with a blue and yellow ribbon. Maybe he was trying to mimic the duke¡¯s style, though the effect was more ¡°dashing scoundrel.¡± His beard, no longer neatly trimmed, was flirting with full-on Robinson Crusoe.

    Despite his scruffy appearance, his youth showed in his face, though the weariness behind his eyes suggested the charm was doing all the heavy lifting. He didn¡¯t have the lanky frame typical of his family. Instead, he was solidly built, just shy of six feet tall, with muscular legs that the tights weren¡¯t shy about emphasizing. Handsome? Absolutely. Subtle? Not a chance.

    I had to be honest with myself¡ªI was starting to love me some cockiness. Gem had it, Nemdor had it, and this dude? He practically oozed it out of his pores.

    ¡°I¡¯ve got to say it now,¡± Eric chuckled, lounging against the bars. ¡°I¡¯m genuinely shocked my cousin¡¯s husband actually lifted a finger to get me back.¡±

    ¡°Just be grateful that he has,¡± the cultist replied. She seemed more than just angry at him. It was as if his attitude was causing her physical pain.

    Eric grinned, clearly enjoying himself. ¡°You talk a big game, Tiriana, but be honest. You couldn¡¯t survive down here without me.¡±

    ¡°We managed well enough before,¡± Tiriana shot back, her expression icy.

    ¡°Before? Sure,¡± Eric said, his smirk growing wider. ¡°But after? There¡¯s no going back from what we had. Admit it, you¡¯ll miss me.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re deluding yourself, human.¡±

    Eric laughed and leaned closer to the bars. ¡°Oh, come on. How many nights did I thaw those chilly loins of yours?¡± He glanced at my group, raising his eyebrows theatrically. ¡°People say elves don¡¯t have a sex drive, but I swear to the Gods, these frosties¡ª¡±

    ¡°Enough!¡± Tiriana bellowed, her hands snapping up as icy magic crackled to life between her fingers. Frost danced and fell to the floor in front of her. She glared at Eric with the kind of look that could freeze fire. Still, there was a flicker of shame behind her fury, as if he¡¯d struck a nerve.

    ¡°No need to get all worked up, love,¡± Jinx said with a wicked grin. ¡°We¡¯ll be takin¡¯ off your ¡®ands soon enough.¡±

    I used the distraction to work around the room, trying to get a vantage point from which to launch an attack. I knew we were about to hit DEFCON 1 any second.

    ¡°Mother has the keys; she will be here shortly,¡± Tiriana said.

    She stood with her back to the cage and looked down at Jinx. ¡°This is the part where you present your ransom to us.¡±

    ¡°That it is, Love.¡± Jinx stepped back and opened his palm, a bag appearing in his hand.

    ¡°Now,¡± Jinx said. Looking at Tiriana.

    ¡°Now what?¡± She asked.

    I hit her in the right temple with a steel arrow. One and Done activated, and she collapsed in a heap.

    ¡°Holy shit!¡± Eric bellowed, his face a mix of terror and twisted amusement as he gawked at the scene before him. Once the surprise wore off, he burst out laughing.

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s a shame,¡± he said after catching his breath. ¡°These frost elves¡­¡± He shook his head, almost wistfully. ¡°Too bad all these beauties are wrong in the head. I¡¯ve really developed a taste for those blue lips.¡±

    Before anyone could respond, a wall of ice exploded, shoving everyone not in a cage back through the doorway and into the shadowy corner I¡¯d been hiding in earlier. We landed in a tangled heap, mostly unharmed but awkwardly piled on each other.

    I wriggled out from under Kev, who was muttering something that was probably an apology. Leoleth sprinted past us, vaulting over me like a frosty blue gazelle, and darted back up the corridor. I got a clear view under her robes. Now I knew what Eric meant about blue lips.

    ¡°Did she just run the wrong way?¡± Gem asked, brushing herself off as she climbed to her feet.

    We shuffled back into the jail. Eric looked me up and down with an appraising look.

    ¡°Whoa. Where¡¯d the pretty elf come from?¡±

    I blushed under his gaze. ¡°Do I let him out?¡± I asked Jinx cheekily.

    ¡°Why wouldn¡¯t you?¡± Eric replied. His smirk quickly faded as realization dawned. He let out a laugh. ¡°I knew it! He wouldn¡¯t give a copper to piss on me, let alone pay a ransom.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jinx said dryly. ¡°He just wants us to burn the place down.¡±

    Eric chuckled nervously. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t mind being on the other side of this door before you start if that¡¯s okay with you.¡±

    ¡°I got this,¡± I sighed and rolled my eyes. I knelt before the lock. I didn¡¯t let myself get distracted by Eric¡¯s¡­shapely man area. I mean, it was right there at eye level. The codpiece was covering it, but that strap looked like it was barely holding it on. I could fall off if I accidentally¡­maybe ¡­Not distracted.

    ¡°Make it fast, love,¡± Jinx said impatiently.

    The lock clicked, the door swung open, and I felt like a better person for two whole seconds.

    Jinx started issuing orders. ¡°Gem, check the corridor an¡¯ shoot anyone who gets close. Kev, keep left of the door, be ready to ambush. Regan, to the shadows wiv ya.¡±

    ¡°What about me?¡± Eric asked.

    ¡°You want to fight? Fight,¡± Kev said, shrugging. ¡°You want to run? Run.¡±

    ¡°My possessions are further down in the dungeon,¡± Eric said, stretching as he stepped out of the cage. ¡°Any chance you¡¯ve got a rapier?¡±

    ¡°Here.¡± I pulled a moderately decent rapier we looted from the slaver camp and handed it over.

    Eric took it, testing its weight with a few swings. ¡°Not exactly top shelf, but it¡¯ll do.¡± He rolled his shoulders and shook his arms like a prize fighter warming up. ¡°Got a dagger, too, maybe?¡±

    ¡°Fine,¡± I grumbled, pulling the spare from my belt and handing it over. ¡°Anything else?¡±

    ¡°A kiss for luck if you happen to have any?¡±

    ¡°Luck or kisses.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯d settle for either at the moment.¡±

    ¡°I¡­Uh¡­¡±

    ¡°Oh, for fuck¡¯s sake,¡± Gem laughed from the doorway. ¡°Stop acting like a little schoolgirl and Kiss him, you little brat.¡±

    I stood on my tiptoes, grabbed Eric by the collar, and pulled him down for a kiss. I clung to him, letting the rush of the moment wash over me, silently wishing us both luck. His arms wrapped firmly around my waist. And he pulled me against him. His body was hard, and his grip was firm. After a moment, we let go, leaving me blushing and buzzing with excitement.

    ¡°Well done,¡± Eric said with a smile. ¡°Now, let¡¯s not die.¡± He turned to face the doorway. ¡°I can¡¯t wait to see where we can go from there.¡±

    My heart was all a flutter. Love me a cocky boy.

    I let myself savor the thrill for a few seconds, but reality crashed back hard and fast. The weight of everything we¡¯d been through to get here hit me, along with the fact that I¡¯d advanced my Assassin job by two levels in less than two minutes. Gods, damn it. I pushed it back, turning my thoughts to what was coming up.

    I shifted back to the far wall from the entrance. I realized the cage did not reach the ceiling of the room. I climbed the bars and squatted in the shadows, my short bow ready.

    ¡°Gem,¡± Jinx said. ¡°If they don¡¯t drop on the first shot, you back to the other door, you got it.¡±

    ¡°Understood.¡±

    ¡°Eric,¡± Eric whispered. He had moved over to the next to me, looking up at me.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°My name is Eric.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m Regan,¡± I whispered back with a flirtatious giggle. I smiled at him before activating Stealth and nocking a steel arrow.

    ¡°You¡¯re as bad as Gem.¡± Kev groaned, throwing me a nasty look.

    We could hear footsteps coming up the stairs towards the room a moment later. With my elf vision, I could see a white-tipped frost elf head peeking around the corner. I drew my bowstring back, but an arrow was flying before I pulled it halfway.

    There was a cry of pain, followed by a thump on the ground. Gem was kneeling in front of the entry of the corridor, another arrow nocked and ready. Eric and Kev had assumed positions on the left and right of the entry, prepared to strike.

    ¡°Why are we not fleeing?¡± Eric whispered to the group.

    ¡°We¡¯re contracted to burn the place down,¡± Kev whispered. ¡°We can¡¯t do that with a bunch of witches with built-in fire-suppressing magic now, can we?¡±

    Gem let another arrow fly and then immediately started backing up quickly. A spike of ice came flying out of the passageway at an upward angle and smashed into the room''s ceiling. Chips of stone and ice came raining down.

    ¡°Really!¡± Eric shouted. ¡°More icicles?¡± He moved to a position in the doorway. ¡°Who is it down there?¡± He turned sideways, his rapier up in defense, and the dagger held over his head dramatically.

    ¡°Nuala?¡± He inched forward toward the entry. ¡°No, wait,¡± he said. ¡°Selphie? You¡¯ll have to forgive me; I have trouble telling you apart!¡±

    Another spike came flying through, and he parried it with the rapier in a quick, simple wrist movement. It exploded on the blade. He laughed as two more shot out, each easily blocked.

    ¡°Zilyana!¡± He clanked his blades together. ¡°You should come up!¡± He took two steps back. ¡°You certainly didn¡¯t mind getting poked by me two nights ago!¡±

    ¡°You filth!¡± Zilyana came running into the room, her hands up with magic energy swirling between her fingers. Kev swung his hammer low, catching her ankle. The bones crunched as she cried out and fell to the floor. Eric brought his dagger down between her shoulder blades, ending her quickly. He grabbed her by the scruff of her robe and yanked her body back towards the back of the room.

    ¡°Not sure what the count is at this point.¡±

    ¡°Seven,¡± I muttered.

    Eric turned slowly and looked up at me. I was in stealth mode, so he probably couldn¡¯t exactly see me.

    ¡°These three, plus four?¡±

    ¡°Yes. That makes seven...Math.¡±

    ¡°You got four already, plus Tiriana?¡±

    ¡°Yes, she¡¯s cute and deadly,¡± Kev grumbled. ¡°Can we focus, please?¡±

    Another series of icy spikes started flying into the room, and Eric spun around, back on defense. I could barely make out the shapes in the passageway. There were two standing shoulder to shoulder. One shot the ice spikes while the other stood with her hands up.

    I let my arrow fly. It ricocheted off an invisible barrier with a tiny blue spark a few inches from the one I aimed at.

    ¡°They have shields!¡±

    ¡°Use the obsidian,¡± Gem said, switching her arrow out.

    I did the same; Eric was busy intercepting the spikes, and Kev kept his position at the side of the passage. Gem and Jinx were side by side. The latter had his hands up, charging up his lightning attack. Gem didn¡¯t have a target since she was too far back, and the passageway was at two sharp of an angle.

    I shot an obsidian arrow; it bounced off the shield, but the shield sputtered. I moved as fast as possible, summoning a steel arrow, nocking it, drawing, and releasing it. I was grateful for all that practice on the Imperial Highway earlier. It flew straight into the left chest of the righthand figure. She spun and dropped as the shield reappeared with a whop! A few seconds later, I got the notification and five hundred XP for the fallen cultist.

    ¡°Eight.¡±

    ¡°I can stop most of these spikes,¡± Eric said. ¡°But if we get one with another ice wall attack, they¡¯re just going to bowl us over.¡±

    ¡°Press it!¡± Jinx barked. ¡°Gem and Regan, take out the shield caster.¡± Gem stood and moved cautiously to the entryway.

    ¡°Regan, you shoot first,¡± she said. ¡°Then me.¡± Her eyes focused on the corridor. Gem had the more powerful bow, so it made sense.

    I released another obsidian arrow that bounced off the shield with the same effect. This time, Gem let her own arrow go right after, and she hit the frost elf in the center of the forehead. There wasn¡¯t even a cry as the cultist folded over.

    ¡°Nine?¡± Eric asked.

    I winked at him. ¡°Your math¡¯s getting better.¡±

    ¡°Move!¡± Jinx bellowed. Kev led the way, followed by Eric and Jinx, with Gem and me stalking behind, bows drawn and ready.

    The room at the end of the corridor was large and round, with about ten cells lining one wall. Unlike the cage they¡¯d stuffed Eric into, these cells had been adapted into small living spaces. Curtains hung from twine inside the bars, offering a semblance of privacy. The center of the room served as the common area, complete with a table, a few mismatched chairs, and a small makeshift kitchen on the opposite side. A stove, pots, and pans completed the home-sweet dungeon aesthetic.

    ¡°Nice thing is,¡± Eric said, taking position near the door at the far side of the room, ¡°as far as I can tell, there are only two ways in or out of each chamber. So, no chance of them flanking us.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Jinx muttered, glancing around. ¡°An¡¯ we ain¡¯t got no place to hide either.¡±

    ¡°Most of them aren¡¯t that tough,¡± Eric added, his tone confident but measured. ¡°Mother and her number one, though¡­they¡¯re the ones to watch out for. And those ladies are pretty mean, too.¡±

    ¡°Regan,¡± Jinx said. ¡°Scout it.¡±

    ¡°Sure thing,¡± I turned to Eric as I stowed my bow and pulled out Sick Stick. ¡°You make it down that far?¡±

    ¡°I didn¡¯t go past this room,¡± Eric said. ¡°Which reminds me...¡± He walked off toward one of the cells.

    I activated Stealth and moved down without a sound. A dark, quiet staircase led downward, hugging the room''s walls. I moved cautiously, each step deliberate.

    The stairs were unlit, but about ten steps down, a faint blue flicker of light caught my eye from below. The air was heavy with silence, making every tiny sound feel deafening. I crept downward, keeping close to the right-hand wall for cover.

    When I reached two steps above the landing, I crouched low. My right hand gripped the wall for balance as I lowered myself further, steadying my left hand against the landing. Peeking around the corner, I caught sight of a shimmering blue light. It was another force shield.

    Before I could send a chat back to Jinx, a barrage of spikes shot towards me, fast as arrows, my instincts kicked in, and I dove back as quickly as I could, my heart racing as the projectiles clattered against the walls.

    I didn¡¯t make a clean retreat, however.

    Shearing pain shot from my left arm as an ice spike wedged itself in my wrist. I fell backward, losing my footing as another tore into my left ankle. Blood spurted everywhere as I cried out.

    20 POINTS PIERCING DAMAGE TO THE LEFT WRIST.

    40 POINTS FROSTBITE DAMAGE TO THE LEFT WRIST.

    25 POINTS PIERCING DAMAGE TO THE RIGHT ANCLE.

    40 POINTS FROSTBITE DAMAGE TO THE RIGHT ANCLE.

    YOU ARE SUFFERING FROSTBITE DEBUF.

    ALL AFFECTED LIMBS SUFFER 90% IMMOBILITY.

    TIME REMAINING: 60 SECONDS

    ¡°FUCK!¡± I yelled, pushing myself up the steps while pain and frost paralyzed my limbs. The spikes pierced completely through my wrist and ankle, and I could barely move. I heard soft leather slapping against the stone steps as one cultist ran up.

    I could either heal or attack. I pulled myself up with my right hand and readied Sick Stick. Pain and adrenaline raced through my body as I leaped blindly at the sound of footfalls around the corner.

    I landed on one of the frost elves, slamming Sick Stick down as hard as possible. It landed in the middle of her bare thigh. There was a shriek from her, and I let go of the dagger. We both fell backward, away from each other.

    I landed hard on the stone steps, the impact jarring every bone in my body. I gritted my teeth and pushed myself upright, but the elf I stabbed was already gone, having tumbled around the corner. Sick Stick was still lodged in her leg. Notifications flickered in my vision as I fumbled for a healing potion from my inventory. The sweet, herbal liquid filled my mouth, and I swallowed quickly, feeling its magic start to work as I inched backward up the stairs.

    A pair of hands grabbed me under the arms and yanked, dragging me up toward the room where the others waited.

    ¡°Get her before she heals,¡± I croaked. It was Eric. He nodded without a word, hopped over me, and bounded down the stairs, a newer, shinier rapier gleaming in the faint light.

    He vanished around the corner, and the sound of ice spikes smashing against metal filled the stairwell. Shards of ice flew up, bouncing off the walls and ceiling in glittering chaos. Moments later, a death notification popped up in my vision, along with the reward of two hundred and fifty XP.

    The potion did its thing. The icy spikes in my wrist and ankle shattered and fell away as the frostbite debuff faded. Unlike Heather¡¯s holy blessing, this stuff took its sweet ass time.

    I was still aching as I pulled myself up into a sitting position, wincing with every movement.

    Jinx and Kev rushed into the stairwell and the room, the sharp tang of ozone trailing.

    Gem followed closely behind, her sharp eyes darting to me. She paused at the corner as magical energy erupted in the room before her.

    ¡°Damn.¡± She sighed. ¡°Break time.¡±

    She turned and returned up the stairs, reaching down to help.

    ¡°You okay?¡± she asked, her voice tense.

    I grabbed her hand, using it to steady myself. ¡°I¡¯ll live,¡± I grunted, though every muscle in my body screamed otherwise.

    ¡°It¡¯s clear.¡± Eric barked up at us.

    ¡°How many?¡± I asked, getting up and testing my weight on the newly healed ankle. It hurt, but it was functional.

    ¡°Three more, counting the one you stabbed.¡±

    ¡°Twelve then.¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Gem frowned. ¡°I suppose.¡±

    ¡°There¡¯s two behind us,¡± I said as she descended the stairs. ¡°The one on the roof and Leoleth.¡±

    ¡°Leoleth ran. Let¡¯s hope she doesn¡¯t come back and stab us from behind.¡±

    ¡°The duke¡¯s intelligence might not be accurate. We don¡¯t know how many there are.¡±

    The room was almost an exact copy of the upper one, complete with living space and kitchen. The three cultists were sprawled out on the floor, dead. I pulled Sick Stick out of the thigh of the nearest one and wiped it off on her robe. The other two were still smoldering from Jinx¡¯s attack.

    ¡°They¡¯re on high alert and know we are coming,¡± Kev said. ¡°So, it¡¯s going to be a slog.¡±

    ¡°How¡¯s your lightning attack?¡±

    ¡°Against this lot,¡± Jinx smiled at the two he took down. ¡°Pretty devastatin''. They ain''t got too much in the way of defense, you an'' Gem ''it those shields, the rest of us can ''it ''em ''ead on.¡±

    ¡°I only have ten obsidian arrows left.¡±

    ¡°Be smart with ¡®em.¡± Jinx said with a wink.

    The next set of stairs opened to a long hallway with no opposition. It was lined with empty cupboards and cabinets and almost completely dark. I could see clearly but still proceeded cautiously, phantom pain in my wrist and ankle throbbing at the thought of another ice attack.

    Eric formed up at my elbow, sword at the ready. The dagger was gone and was replaced by a shiny buckler about the size of a hubcap.

    We reached the end of the hall, and the stairs went down to the right. I looked at him and he smiled and nodded at the doorway. The stairway was narrower than before. Eric moved in front and Gem directly behind. Jinx followed, with me and Kev in the rear. I was too far back to see the front, so I kept half an eye behind us.

    A blast of arctic air knocked me back a step, followed by the plinking of ice spikes flying up the stairs. I could see Eric using his shield and rapier to shatter them and knock them off course. Gem was on her back, stunned.

    I slipped past Jinx with my bow ready. Eric leaped from the steps down to the landing below and dashed out of sight.

    ¡°Eric!¡± I shouted at him. That cocky bastard!

    ¡°A little help!¡± he shouted up after a second. I hopped over Gem, who was recovering.

    The landing was attached to a well-lit room lined with bookshelves and a large table in the middle covered with books, scrolls, and papers.

    Three of the Cultists were there; two had ice swords and shields and were trying to double-team Eric on the left side of the room. The third was shooting ice spikes at him from the right-hand side of the area.

    There was no way I could hit any of these targets with all the moving and jostling around. I dropped the bow and summoned Sick Stick.

    I pulled up on the spell-slinging cultist and tried slashing my blade across her throat, but she twisted away, completely dodging my attack. She followed up with an ice wall attack that blew me head over heels into one of the bookcases. I took a hit and dropped my favorite dagger somewhere along the way.

    I summoned a short sword for some stupid reason. I gripped it in my right hand and pulled a dagger into my left. She summoned an ice sword, a shield, and an evil smile. We faced off for a moment. I planted my feet, knees bent, and was ready for the fight. I hated fighting fairly.

    ¡°Turn sideways!¡± Eric was looking at me.

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Like me!¡±

    I glanced over. He wasn¡¯t perpendicular to his opponent like I was. He was sideways, with his rapier between him and his cultists.

    I copied his stance, and the dagger suddenly seemed less important, but now I presented a much harder target to hit.

    ¡°Keep your right foot in front!¡± he barked. ¡°Point it forward and to the left! Never cross your feet and turn with your back foot. Shuffle! Don¡¯t step. You don¡¯t want to lose your balance.¡±

    The cultist attacked; I moved the way he suggested. I was only at level one with this stupid thing, but even I could feel the benefits of better footwork. I shuffled back as she advanced, and I managed to block her first couple of attacks. I wasn¡¯t sure what her levels were, but I didn¡¯t see her fighting with nearly the same level as Eric.

    I glanced at him to see where he was, and she took the opportunity. She charged me with her shield, her left shoulder against it in an all-out bashing attack. I had no defense against it, so I threw my short sword at her feet while she ran at me. She tripped up.

    ¡°Gods,¡± I muttered. I straddled her, shoving her face down onto the floor. I slammed my dagger down into her left shoulder, right below the neck. It hit something it shouldn¡¯t have because it barely penetrated.

    I let go of the blade and gripped her by the hair with both hands. She bucked against me, trying to toss me off. I yanked back as hard as I could. She gasped at the pain as I pulled her head off the floor.

    I slammed it down face first with everything I had into that hard dungeon floor. That had her rattled. But she wasn¡¯t done yet. She kicked and pushed, trying to get her arms under her.

    Rinse and Repeat.

    I slammed her down again and again and again. Bones cracked, and teeth scattered. I didn¡¯t stop until the remains of her face were flat, and grey stuff oozed out of her forehead. By the time I got the final notification, there was nothing left. I was pretty much holding a busted sack of skin and goop.

    ¡°Fuck!¡± I gasped. It was new, but it¡¯s not like I had much choice. It was a results-oriented kind of day.

    ¡°I am never going to raise my skill in that damn weapon.¡± I lamented, dropping her on the floor. Her busted head splashed in the blood with a squishy splat. I picked up my discarded sword.

    Lightning flooded in from the stairwell, engulfing the two remaining frost elves. They fell to the ground, screaming and twitching as Jinx carefully and slowly walked into the room, his eyes focused on the two of them. Several agonizing seconds later, they stopped moving, their bodies smoldering.

    ¡°Nice sparks,¡± Eric said breathlessly. ¡°I appreciate you not frying me, too.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re good people.¡±

    Eric looked over at me and the mess on the floor. His eyes grew wide. ¡°Okay¡­¡±

    ¡°Tha¡¯s me girl,¡± Jinx said to him, patting him on the shoulder with a chuckle. ¡°Best not piss her off.¡±

    He crossed to the table and started sifting through the scrolls and papers. He started pulling various ones into his inventory with a raised eyebrow. ¡°Icy bitches.¡± He mumbled to himself.

    ¡°Thanks for the advice,¡± I said to Eric.

    He nodded back at me. ¡°You look like you could be a natural.¡±

    I looked down at the pile of goo on top of the cultist¡¯s shoulders. ¡°Natural what?¡±

    ¡°The blade,¡± he said quickly. ¡°You just need to practice.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re just being nice because you think I¡¯m cute.¡±

    ¡°Fifteen,¡± Gem said, rubbing her side and surveying the carnage. ¡°Ten are yours.¡±

    ¡°One more, and I get a set of steak knives.¡± I shrugged. ¡°Good times.¡±

    I walked around the room. I wanted to shake the dark thoughts out somehow, and some looting certainly wasn¡¯t a bad way to start. The bookcases held some books, plus various other things. I saw a kettle on one shelf and a sack on another. A small flat basket on one shelf was stacked with about a dozen tiny scrolls, all sealed with globs of blue wax.

    I picked one up to examine it.

    NEW ITEM:

    SCROLL OF ARCTIC BLAST

    Concentrated wall of arctic air that will blast just about anything over. It¡¯s fully charged and ready to start the party. Break the seal and go at it.

    ¡°Spell scrolls?¡± I asked out loud to the group.

    ¡°Hells yeah,¡± Jinx said, looking up. ¡°Just break the seal; it''ll charge you up, and you can fire one off in any direction. Grab ''em!¡±

    ¡°Most of the books are crap. By the way,¡± he said as I added the scrolls to my space. ¡°There''s some interestin'' stuff ''ere though. No time to go over it right now.¡±

    A distant scream came from the next stairwell, followed by the sounds of flying ice spikes. I could hear fighting and yelling but couldn¡¯t determine what was being said.

    ¡°Gotta see what¡¯s going on down there,¡± Eric chirped. ¡°It¡¯d be nice if they were doing some of the heavy lifting for us.¡± He moved to the stairs.

    Energy rippled up the stairs, and waves and waves of light poured like a river from the chamber below. Eric took a cautious step back.

    ¡°Regan,¡± Jinx said. He straightened up from the table. ¡°Scout it out.¡±

    ¡°Fine.¡± I moaned. ¡°Okay.¡± My last scouting mission went so well.

    I activated Stealth and crept down the stairs. Light erupted from the room below, splashing the stairwell in a dizzying array of colors that ricocheted off the stone walls like the worst Icelandic rave ever. The air was choked with ozone, thick and heavy. More screams, this time muffled, started up again, jagged and frantic. The cries were cutting through the crackling hum of energy.

    I made it to the bottom of the steps, and I slipped around the corner. There was a small carved archway leading into the chamber. I crouched down in full recon mode. I don¡¯t know if sunglasses existed here, but I wished I had some.

    No one was watching the entrance. I may have been playing the tuba and doing River Dance, and those freaks wouldn¡¯t have noticed.

    The chamber beyond was the largest I¡¯d seen yet, a natural cavern with the floor roughly leveled out. I could feel my hair standing up from the crackling energy that filled the space, the noise echoing off the walls like a cross between an electrical storm and a raging river.

    At the center of the room lay a circle of symbols. Painted or chalked? It was hard to tell. They pulsed with a sickly glow, like a heartbeat against the cold stone floor.

    At its heart, a young frost elf thrashed, stripped naked, bound, and gagged. Her muffled screams tore through the air, raw and desperate.

    Directly across from me stood a woman clutching a massive leather-bound book, her lips moving as she chanted. The rising noise of the room swallowed her words, but the cadence felt heavy, deliberate. Three other cultists flanked the circle, their faces pale and hollow, illuminated by shafts of light spilling from crystals perched atop their staffs. They stared down at the girl with a kind of sadness.

    The beams of light converged on the frost elf. Her pale skin shimmered beneath the shifting, ghastly rainbow, a perverse beauty in the glow. She writhed harder, her body arching against the bonds. Her screams cut deeper now, soaked in terror¡ªterror that thickened the very air as though the room itself felt it.

    It was the sound of someone who knew their soul was about to be ripped away.

    ¡°Oh¡­¡± Get there, Regan! ¡°¡­Oh shit.¡±

    Party chat:

    Regan: Uh, guys, this looks like a summoning.

 Chapter Twelve: Tell me more about Hot Girl Summer.

    Chapter Twelve: Tell me more about Hot Girl Summer.

    I had my bow in my hands and was nocking an arrow before I even thought about it. I¡¯m okay stabbing people, but I wouldn¡¯t say I like the idea of someone getting their soul eaten.

    Jinx came tearing down the stairs, nearly knocking me over as he pushed past, electricity crackling in his hands and cursing like a sailor. The rest of the party was right behind him, weapons out.

    I let loose an obsidian arrow, targeting the frost elf in the middle. She had stopped screaming and moving. It ricocheted off an invisible shield. I followed with another, but the shield was up before I could pull back my string.

    I turned to ask Gem to help, but a shockwave of magical energy burst out from the elf at the center of the ritual circle. It hit like a bus, flinging us all into the cavern walls. Everything was eerily still for a moment, save for the ringing in my ears. I was sprawled against the cold stone; my face smashed unceremoniously into the wall.

    Then came the sounds. First, a sickening series of cracks, like someone snapping bones or crushing twigs underfoot. That was bad enough. But then came something worse: a wet, sliding noise, like raw meat being dragged over rough stone.

    Every survival instinct in my body screamed, DO. NOT. LOOK. And, honestly, I wanted to listen. Nothing that made noises like that ever turned out to be something you wanted to see. But this was Murder World. It wasn¡¯t like I wasn¡¯t gonna be feeling pain pretty soon, and I might as well see where it was coming from.

    To my credit, I was the first to get to my feet, though they were shaking like a crackhead on day four of withdrawal. And what I saw? Well, there¡¯s that thing where people say they wish they could unsee something. Car crashes? Sure. Dogs giving birth? Been there. Walking in on your parents doing it when you were too young to process that kind of trauma?

    Yeah, that was pretty high on the spectrum of the worst things my eyes have beheld. But this? It was way the fuck up there, just south of seeing mom pegging dad.

    The elf¡¯s body had started bloating like she was filling with air. Her arms and legs stretched and bent backward in ways that would¡¯ve made a contortionist scream. Extra joints popped into place with wet, meaty crunches, and those limbs split in half. Eight legs. She was growing eight gods damn legs.

    And her torso just popped open like a busted sack of steaming ravioli, spilling guts and gore all over the cavern floor. Out of the mess, a hardened shell began to emerge, shiny and dark, and an abdomen the size of a keg inflated behind her like some monstrous balloon. Her head twisted a full 180 degrees, the neck popping and cracking with a sound that made me want to throw up. And then, because things weren¡¯t as horrific as they could have been, mandibles punched through her cheeks, shredding what was left of her face as they grew to a full eighteen inches and razor-sharp.

    She¡­or rather, it¡­was now a spider. A motherfucking spider growing to the size of a Chevy Suburban fifteen feet in front of me. It was a gleaming iridescent dark blue and silver. Its legs, now lined with wicked silver spikes, spread out wide enough to touch the cavern walls. Six glossy, black eyes scanned the room, unblinking. Its breathing was heavy and labored, each wheeze echoing off the stone.

    And then... silence. The kind of silence that makes your skin crawl because you know it¡¯s just waiting for the right moment to explode.

    Jinx: That there is an Ice Arachne. Hit its face and abdomen. Stay the fuck away from the mandibles, the legs, and the-

    A massive ball of webbing, six feet across, shot from the ass end of the spider, flying towards Gem, who was still getting to her feet in the doorway. She dove into the chamber just in time to avoid the massive ball. It splattered against the opening, filling it with finger-thick webs, sealing the only exit we could see.

    Jinx: Spinnerets.

    The cultists jumped and started running toward the chamber''s back. There must have been another exit. A whole fat lotta good it did us with something that looked like it crawled off a heavy metal album cover blocking the way.

    I downed an AP potion and activated Stealth before scooting off to the creature''s right side, keeping a healthy distance while trying to flank it. Gem and Eric split apart, moving to the left and right. Kev also eased around the left, his hammer out. Jinx gave it a smile and a salute.

    ¡°Evening, old girl.¡± His voice was steady, almost kind. ¡°Jus¡¯ remember, we ain¡¯t the ones that dragged you ¡®ere.¡±

    He fired off a stream of flame, not at the spider, but at the glob of webbing that covered the door. I hoped the pass opened up soon because this was starting to look like my version of the Kobayashi Maru scenario.

    She lurched forward at him, and he dashed off to the right side towards Eric. The thing was a slow mover, unlike one of her little cousins. The problem was that it took up all the space, and its weapons seemed lethal at a single hit. And, of course: Giant Fucking Spider!

    Gem started firing arrows, one after the other, into its soft abdomen. One out of three managed to stick for negligible damage. It mostly trained its eyes on Jinx, who had directed his fire at it. It lifted its legs to spear him, causing him to break the spell as he dodged. The fire spell seemed painful, if not causing much damage, as the spider bellowed out a silent scream, heard by the air whistling through its mandibles.

    ¡°Keep ¡®er distracted!¡± Jinx yelled, shooting flames at its abdomen before dashing around again to avoid the spider¡¯s legs.

    I snuck unseen to its side. Fuck, I thought, gritting my teeth. I had a short sword that was worthless, arrows that were worthless, and a dagger that was worthless. The thorax looked like it was made of steel. There were only a few soft targets on the monster.

    I counted down from ten to one in my head. At the end of the count, I launched myself onto the top of the creature¡¯s thorax by vaulting off the rock wall. All my newfound strength and dexterity were pushed to the limit. My butt confirmed what I guessed. It was hard as steel and ice cold. It also didn¡¯t seem to know I was on top of it. Either the others distracted her, or there weren¡¯t any nerves on the armored back.

    I inched forward until I was on the head. Or what I thought was ahead. Do spiders even have heads? I didn¡¯t think so, but I wasn¡¯t an expert.

    I wrapped my legs around what I thought was a head-like protrusion and slammed Sick Stick into the rightmost eye of the giant spider.

    SNEAK ATTACK ON ICE ARACHNE.

    14 POINTS DAMAGE WITH SICK STICK DAGGER

    X3  SNEAK ATTACK DAMAGE

    42VP DAMAGE

    TARGET LEVEL EXCEEDS SICK STICK DEBUFF THRESHOLD

    The spider lurched forward, hissing and wheezing a pained exhale as its mandibles scrabbled at the air, unable to reach me. I clung to its carapace for dear life, my dagger rising and falling in a frantic rhythm. Some strikes hit, with satisfying squelches. Others missed entirely, glancing off the hardened shell or sinking into empty space. It felt like riding a mechanical bull if it was ice cold, twice as wide, and oozing venom.

    Around me, the rest of the party was throwing everything they had at the beast, but we might as well have been toddlers swinging sticks at a dragon. Jinx¡¯s fire roared across its abdomen, scorching and blistering the surface, but it barely did more than give the spider a nasty sunburn. Kev¡¯s hammer crashed down in thunderous arcs, only to bounce off its armored legs like a kid whacking a pi?ata made of tire rubber. Eric and Gem were the only ones making any headway, leaving small, oozing holes where her arrows and his rapier found purchase. But the thing was huge, and all we were really doing was pissing it off.

    I had managed to damage two more of the thing¡¯s eyes, but without Sneak Attack, I could not deal much damage with the dagger.

    The spider let out a high-pitched hiss and then spun towards Gem with a massive lunge. A glob of webbing shot from its abdomen, hitting her square in the shoulder. It spun her around midair like some grotesque pinwheel and slammed her into the chamber wall. My heart dropped as I watched her hit. Hard. She stopped moving, but she didn¡¯t look hurt, just dazed. She was pinned, struggling futilely against the sticky threads as the spider¡¯s attention zeroed in on her.

    ¡°Shit!¡± I yelled, but there wasn¡¯t time to do much more than keep stabbing. If I did manage to blind it, maybe that would help? Best intentions, at least.

    Eric dived between Gem and the spider, his rapier slashing back and forth while his buckler deflected blow after blow. The spider pressed its massive body against him, venom-coated mandibles striking out like scythes. The thing wasn¡¯t fighting. It was trying to eat him. Eric gritted his teeth, every muscle straining as the buckler in his left hand wedged against one of the mandibles. His right hand kept his rapier between his shoulder and the other one. His blade was starting to bend under the pressure, but it was enough to keep those jaws from closing for the moment.

    The venom dripping from the spider¡¯s mandibles splashed across his shirt. It soaked through the fabric. My stomach churned. Did it need to be injected to work? Absorbed through the skin? Hells if I knew. The rules weren''t exactly clear in a messed-up fantasy world with a demon spider.

    I kept stabbing, doing my best to help, but the helplessness was overwhelming. Eric¡¯s face was twisted in pain, his body visibly shaking under the strain of holding back something that was ten times his size. Meanwhile, Gem still struggled behind him, stuck fast to the wall.

    ¡°Oy! Kev!¡± Jinx yelled. He extinguished his flame and pulled out Razor Mandolin. It was an unspoken agreement among the party to keep the thing in inventory, given its value, but the Ice Arachne was too big and powerful. Jinx tossed it under the spider¡¯s body, and it clattered to the ground at Kev¡¯s feet.

    Kev dropped the hammer and grabbed the axe. I could see his body shift as his strength and dexterity increased by ten points each. I knew that feeling well. He swung the blade up, and it cut deep into the spider¡¯s abdomen.

    It turned toward the source of its agony, hissing and whistling in pain. Eric was thrown to the side, but he was completely forgotten for the moment. Kev matched its movement and swung the axe hard again, targeting the spinneret.

    Purple and yellow puss poured out of the beast as Kev¡¯s swing cleaved the entire body part off. It hardened into a stinking half web, half blood glue that stuck to the stone floor, anchoring the spider to the ground. It bounced and struggled to move, but it only got more stuck and immobilized. It tried anchoring its legs to the ground and pushing with no success.

    Eric turned with a dagger to Gem, helping her cut away the silk. Jinx reignited his fire spell and renewed his attack, and Kev kept slicing with the axe. I managed to take out four of its eyes, but the giant spider seemed more preoccupied with the pain in its rear and trying to get off the floor.

    ¡°Does this thing have a brain!¡± I yelled over my shoulder.

    ¡°It does!¡± Jinx yelled. ¡°Yer sittin¡¯ on it!¡±

    ¡°Kev!¡± I held my hands up. He gave the abdomen a final swing, thrusting the axe deep into it with more purple ooze erupting from the slice. He yanked it out and tossed it up to me.

    I caught the axe and immediately felt the boosts, more than doubling my strength. I hadn¡¯t used it since my evolution, and the effects made my body feel even more electric than the first time I held it in my hands. I bounded to my feet. As the beast kicked underneath me, I raised the axe over my head. I gave myself a moment to center my balance and then slammed it down with all my strength, targeting the patch between its three pairs of eyes. The axe buried itself two-thirds of the way into the spider.

    YOU HELPED DEFEAT ICE ARACHNE.

    +1700xp

    CORPSE:

    ICE ARACHNE.

    LOOTABLE ITEMS:

    razor mandolin

    ICE ARACHNE venom

    DO YOU WANT TO LOOT?

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    YOU HAVE ADVANCED TO LEVEL 3.

    +1 STRENGTH

    +1 DEXTERITY

    +1 INTELLIGENCE

    YOU MAY NOW ASSIGN 3 POINTS TO YOUR ATTRIBUTES AT ANY TIME.

    YOU HAVE ADVANCED TO LEVEL 3 ROGUE.

    +1 DEXTERITY

    +1 CHARISMA

    STEALTH NOW LEVEL 2:

    +1 DEXTERITY

    4x less detectable in dark, undercover, or outside line of sight. 4x less audible detection. Activation time: 1 second. Range: Self. Cost: 6AP/Second.

    SNEAK ATTACK NOW LEVEL 3

    +1 DEXTERITY

    3.5X DAMAGE ON ALL SNEAK ATTACKS.This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work.

    NEW SKILL ADDED:

    Acrobatics (Dexterity/Strength) Level 1

    The notifications ran through my vision as the Ice Arachne slowly tipped over with its legs curled like any other dead spider. I looted the thing, adding three venom vials and the magic axe to my storage.

    ¡°Whoa,¡± I said. Slipping onto the floor with a rush of blood to my head. ¡°Sixteen.¡±

    Gem let out a weak laugh. ¡°I just leveled up.¡±

    ¡°Me too,¡± said Kev breathlessly

    ¡°So did I,¡± I said. ¡°That mother fucker was tough.¡±

    ¡°More than tough,¡± Jinx said, walking around it to us. ¡°We were in way over our ¡®eads.¡± He reached down and helped me to my feet. ¡°If it wasn¡¯t for that axe¡­¡±

    ¡°We would have thought of something,¡± I said. ¡°Seriously though, fucking giant spiders?¡±

    ¡°They ain¡¯t usually that big.¡±

    ¡°Such a fucking waste,¡± I muttered.

    "Wacha mean?" Jinx asked, eyebrows furrowed.

    ¡°They didn¡¯t just kill her. They destroyed her. Completely. All to buy themselves a few extra seconds to escape.¡± There was something inside me, something I¡¯d never felt before. This wasn¡¯t just killing. It was worse. Way worse. ¡°Dead¡¯s one thing, but there¡¯s no sweet, peachy afterlife waiting for her. You should¡¯ve heard her screams before you came down.¡±

    ¡°We all heard her,¡± Kev said, stepping forward. He wrapped his massive arms around me in a tight hug. ¡°And I saw what you tried to do,¡± he whispered. ¡°You wanted to spare her from that.¡±

    He let me go and stood up straight. I stepped up on his belt and used it to hoist myself up just enough to kiss him on the cheek. ¡°Thanks, big guy,¡± I whispered to him.

    It¡¯s easy to get caught up in the rush of things. Beating a giant spider feels pretty epic in the moment. But the weight of everything doesn¡¯t hit you until you¡¯re safe. I slipped back down the orc and moved over to Gem and Eric to see if I could help.

    Gem grunted as Eric managed to pull her off the wall just as I came up.

    She wrapped her arms around him. ¡°Thanks.¡± She said.

    ¡°Any time.¡± He replied as she let go. He turned and looked toward the back of the chamber. ¡°Four of them scampered off.¡±

    ¡°Not our department,¡± Jinx said. ¡°We need ta jus¡¯ burn the place; We weren¡¯ contracted to kill everyone.¡±

    ¡°Or get me,¡± Eric said darkly. ¡°I know the duke didn¡¯t exactly like me, but I thought he would have at least tried to get me out.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know. Maybe he figured we would spring you while we did our thing.¡± Gem suggested.

    ¡°I didn¡¯t leave with them. The frost elves, I mean. They charmed me and half a dozen others. Before we knew it, we were chained up and in the back of a wagon. I wasn¡¯t turned into a power crystal because I told them about the duke, hoping they would ask for ransom.¡±

    ¡°Well, they did,¡± Gem said. ¡°And he refused.¡±

    ¡°Can¡¯t go back there,¡± Eric said, his face turned down. ¡°Mind if I ask where you¡¯re headed?¡±

    ¡°Ironstone,¡± Kev said.

    ¡°We need a chat,¡± Jinx said. ¡°Wait ¡®ere.¡± He turned around and stomped out of the cavern, back toward the library. We followed him through the smoldering stairway and up.

    I noticed everyone looked tired. This simple trip touring the countryside had undoubtedly gone off the rails for them several times. My plans of training to become a flight attendant went sideways, too, so I can relate.

    ¡°I think he¡¯s a straight-up guy,¡± I said when we reached the library. We all settled on the hardwood chairs around the table at the center.

    ¡°I think so, too,¡± Kev said. ¡°I¡¯m not opposed to him traveling with us.¡±

    ¡°I¡¯m with Kev,¡± Gem said. ¡°But don¡¯t listen to Regan. She¡¯s got a crush on the new boy.¡± She winked at me.

    Jinx gave her one of his patented scowls.

    ¡°Wot I wanted to talk ''bout,¡± he said, regaining control of the conversation, ¡°We landed in a big pile o'' gold, wiv this job, an'' wot we found at the slaver camp. I fink we might wanna quit while we''re a¡¯ead.¡±

    ¡°But if we are traveling with Eric on board, we¡¯ll have a more capable party.¡±

    ¡°Right, you are. But we planned this excursion wiv the three of us in mind. We already brought Regan on. No offense, love.¡±

    ¡°None taken, I guess?¡±

    ¡°We add another member and we¡¯ll be deludin'' our share of XP and GP. But that¡¯s beside things. The poin¡¯ I¡¯m making is that it is not gonna be much worth to continin¡¯ the trip.¡±

    ¡°We did just level up,¡± Gem said.

    ¡°What¡¯s our GP count right now?¡± Kev asked.

    ¡°Assumin'' we get the ten thousand for this job an'' the money for the axe,¡± Jinx said. ¡°twenty-nine ¡®undred sixty after guild fees and taxes.¡±

    Gem and Kev both gasped. I had no idea how far money went in this world and had only paid my way through the provincial towns, which didn¡¯t seem to cost much. I knew gold was valuable and only used it for the high-end merchandise I bought in Wood Cut.

    ¡°Is that a lot?¡± I asked.

    ¡°You can live on that for about four years in Ironstone.¡± Kev said, ¡°My inheritance was less than that.¡±

    ¡°That¡¯s just the GP,¡± Gem said. ¡°We still have the rings and necklace to unlock.¡±

    ¡°And the chest is worth around twelve hundred,¡± I said.

    ¡°The three of us already decided to give you the chest as a bonus,¡± Kev said. ¡°You did all the heavy lifting at the camp, so it¡¯s on us.¡±

    ¡°This ¡®ere is the kind of payoff that mercs like us never see,¡± Jinx said. ¡°It means everyone can afford upgrades an'' trainin''. It¡¯s an ''ell of a start for you, an'' a boost for the rest of us.¡±

    ¡°So, I could just live in Ironstone for four years and not do anything?¡±

    ¡°Yeah,¡± Gem said. ¡°It¡¯s not luxury living. It¡¯ll be a basic room and meals.¡±

    Four years¡¯ worth of gold, I thought. I had never had more than three weeks of cash on hand in my entire life, and now I was looking at not having to worry about money for the first time. It wasn¡¯t like I was used to living luxuriously anyway.

    ¡°It¡¯s a one-time thing, love,¡± Jinx said. ¡°You ain¡¯t gonna see money like that for a long time. You need to train an¡¯ gear up. Way fuckin'' up.¡±

    ¡°I can do that,¡± I said. I took a deep breath. Four years. It just hung in my head. I couldn¡¯t even fathom the idea.

    ¡°Eric owes us for the rescue,¡± Gem said. ¡°But I say let him travel to Ironstone with us, but he¡¯s on his own after that.¡±

    ¡°Sounds fair,¡± I said. ¡°I¡¯m happy with what we¡¯ve got. I say we head back.¡±

    ¡°Second that,¡± Gem said.

    ¡°I¡¯m a third,¡± Kev nodded.

    ¡°We got an agreement then,¡± Jinx stood up. ¡°We ¡®ead back. Cut Eric loose and stick together until we split the ring loot.¡±

    ¡°What did you say about taxes and fees?¡± I asked. ¡°It¡¯s not like Ticketmaster, is it?¡±

    ¡°The Mercenary Guild takes twenty percent of all GP,¡± Kev said. ¡°They¡¯ll also grab the Empire¡¯s cut and pass it on.¡±

    ¡°Never worried about taxes before.¡±

    ¡°Taxes to the Empire are fifteen percent of what¡¯s left?¡± Kev asked the group.

    ¡°Yeah that¡¯s right,¡± Gem said. ¡°Fifteen.¡±

    ¡°You¡¯re a contractor wif us,¡± Jinx said, ¡°So you pay the fee, too.¡±

    ¡°But we looted the forty-three hundred from the slave camp. How will they even know we have it?¡± I asked.

    ¡°¡¯Cuz if we ¡®ave it and lie about it, then we get booted from The Guild if they find out. None of us will risk that.¡±

    ¡°And the other loot?¡±

    ¡°We pay taxes on it when we sell it,¡± Gem said. ¡°The buyer collects it.¡±

    ¡°The Empire and Guild only deal with the coin, then?¡±

    ¡°Yeah.¡±

    ¡°So, we call it quits,¡± I said. ¡°How long until we get to Ironstone from here?¡±

    ¡°We ¡®it the junction at Mountain Side,¡± Jinx said. ¡°Then, take the ''ighway west, an'' we''ll be back in a day an'' a ''alf at the most."

    ¡°I almost hate to ask,¡± I raised a hand. Why did I raise my fucking hand?

    ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°How dangerous is the road?¡±

    ¡°Should be pretty safe.¡± Kev shrugged.

    ¡°It was supposed to be safe already. Look what happened to us.¡±

    ¡°We are in more settled territory, less mountains and hills, so fewer places for outlaws to hide out.¡±

    ¡°Okay, cool. I¡¯ll let Eric know he doesn¡¯t have to walk then.¡±

    I hopped up and skipped down the stairs, feeling lighter than I had in days. Eric was cute. Annoyingly cute, actually. The more I saw of him, the more I liked the idea of having him around. It was starting to feel... appealing.

    I paused at the entry to the cavern.  I had to move three points into attributes. I dove into my Character Sheet. I added a point to Strength, a point to Spirit, and a point to Luck. I felt like I needed a little spirituality. I definitely felt the need for more luck.

    You have passed level 10 Strength.

    Powerful Strike Level 1 Unlocked.

    Powerful Strike Level 1

    Powerful Strike will apply 3x damage to any successful melee attack when activated.

    Cool.

    Activation time: instant. Range: Self. Cost: 79 AP Plus Cooldown: 47 seconds.

    When I returned to the chamber, I saw him squatting near the dead spider. His rapier hung lazily in his right hand as he stared at the floor in front of him, clearly lost in thought.

    ¡°You can put your sword away.¡± That¡¯s what she said. I snorted at my stupid internal joke.

    ¡°Huh?¡± His head jerked up, startled. ¡°Oh. Right. Sorry.¡± He stood, and with a flourish, the rapier and buckler vanished into his storage.

    ¡°You okay there?¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± he said, shaking his head as he stepped toward me. His face twisted into a grimace. ¡°I¡¯ve been playing the spoiled rich kid for so long; I don¡¯t know how to be anything else. Not that I¡¯m rich anymore.¡±

    ¡°Well, we¡¯ve decided to head back to Ironstone,¡± I said. ¡°There¡¯s not much point staying out here. You¡¯re welcome to come with us if you want.¡±

    ¡°And then what?¡± His voice was heavy with gloom.

    ¡°Then... whatever.¡± I shrugged. ¡°You could join the Mercenary Guild, maybe? Start making some money? You¡¯re good with that sword. Or you could go back to your family.¡±

    ¡°I don¡¯t want to do that,¡± he admitted. ¡°They sent me to the duke, hoping he¡¯d take me on as part of the household. You know, like my cousins. I blew that.¡±

    ¡°At least you got some training out of it,¡± I said, trying to be encouraging.

    ¡°Yeah, but I wanted to join the guard,¡± he said. ¡°That was the plan. Turns out that wasn¡¯t really me, though.¡±

    ¡°So, what are you?¡± I asked, crossing my arms and looking him over.

    He smirked. ¡°Swinging on chandeliers, bedding beautiful women, and drinking the good stuff.¡±

    I plopped onto the floor.

    ¡°Crisscross applesauce,¡± I said, gesturing for him to join me. He sat down across from me, mirroring my pose.

    I pulled out the bottle I had gotten from Duke Longhorn from my storage and popped the cap. I took a swig and handed it to Eric. He accepted the bottle and took a gulp. His eyes immediately went wide, and he started coughing.

    ¡°This is from the duke¡¯s personal stash. It¡¯s magically protected. Where did you get this?¡± he asked, his voice strangled as he handed the bottle back.

    ¡°The duke,¡± I said, capping the bottle and tucking it away. ¡°He knew I liked the good stuff, so he gave it to me.¡±

    ¡°Lucky you,¡± Eric muttered, his voice still raspy from the drink.

    ¡°Well, that¡¯s one out of three,¡± I said with a grin. ¡°I can¡¯t help with a chandelier, but I think I¡¯ve covered the beautiful woman part.¡±

    Before he could say a word, I leaned up and kissed him. His arms came around me, pulling me close. I melted into him as my hands roamed over his back. He was filthy and smelled like roadkill, but I didn¡¯t care. For a moment, I wanted him to throw me on the floor and have his way with me.

    But then reality set in. Even I knew there was a time and place for these things, and this wasn¡¯t it.

    ¡°Um,¡± I said, gently pushing him back. My face was still flushed. ¡°Okay.¡±

    ¡°Okay, what?¡± he asked, looking a little dazed.

    ¡°We need to get moving,¡± I said, sounding firm.

    ¡°I thought we were moving,¡± he said with a cheeky grin. I almost lost my breath. I do love me a cocky boy.

    ¡°Out of here,¡± I clarified. I stood up and offered him my hand. He took it, standing with me.

    Before he could step away, I slid against him and hugged him quickly.

    ¡°Not the hug!¡± he groaned, tilting his head back and pretending to call on the heavens. ¡°Anything but the hug!¡±

    I laughed, rising on my toes to kiss him again. ¡°Shut the Hells up.¡± He bent down and returned it enthusiastically.

    ¡°Let¡¯s get somewhere that won¡¯t be on fire in the next five minutes,¡± I said, pulling back just enough to look him in the eye. ¡°We still have a keep to burn down.¡±

    We might have kissed a little more. And then a little bit more after that. But then we were done. And then we were done again. And then we were done for real this time.

    When Eric and I returned to the library chamber, Jinx was hard at work. He was crouched next to the table, a pouch of powder in his hand, meticulously drawing a circle on the floor. His lips were moving, either chanting or muttering quietly to himself.

    ¡°Walk ¡®round,¡± he said, not bothering to look up.

    ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± I asked, stepping closer.

    ¡°A little ritual magic, love,¡± he replied, his attention on the powder pouring steadily from his fist. ¡°Gotta set up two or three of these, so the whole place lights up when we need it to. ''Ead on up, yeah? You talking to me ain¡¯t exactly makin¡¯ this easier.¡±

    Taking the hint, Eric and I started climbing out of the dungeon, leaving Jinx to his muttering and precise powder deployment. I held Eric¡¯s hand as we went, leading the way. He seemed deflated despite everything we¡¯d just shared. I hoped he wasn¡¯t some secret Debbie Downer who¡¯d somehow latched himself to me. That would be exhausting.

    I ignored the looted bodies of the cultists scattered along the way as we emerged into the open air. The door outside stood wide open, and Kev and Gem were waiting just beyond it. They were both staring up at the top of the carriage with matching looks of bewilderment.

    Heather was perched up there, a huge grin plastered across her face. Next to her, Leoleth sat with an equally smug expression.

    ¡°What the fuck¡¯s all this?¡± I asked, stepping forward. My eyes flicked to the ground, where the body of another cultist lay crumpled beside the carriage.

    ¡°She¡¯s renounced her evil ways and wants to walk the path of virtue.¡± Heather declared from her spot on the roof.

    ¡°Actually,¡± Leoleth cut in, glancing down at me, ¡°there¡¯s something I wanted to ask you about before the whole purity thing.¡±

    I crossed my arms and squinted at her. ¡°What?¡±

    ¡°Tell me more about Hot Girl Summer.¡±

    The End, Part One.