《Oldor father of magic》


 1. another life

    Chapter 1


    Dear god what a racket please somebody shut that woman up if she screams any louder I will have permanent hearing loss.


    Wait¡­What? Screaming woman ¡­my memories are a little blurry but I am pretty sure the last time I checked I was being left in some dark stinking hole in the ground I hadn¡¯t even seen the sun in two weeks let alone another person so why is a woman screaming in my ear?


    I tried to turn my head to look for the source of the sound, but my head was being cradled in a woman¡¯s hands I couldn¡¯t turn it no matter how I tried. Not that I tried that hard I felt absolutely exhausted. I was actually grateful to be supported like that I sure don¡¯t feel like I could hold myself up right now. That said I was quite curious to see my surroundings and the first thing I was¡­. Lord of the rings cosplay? The hell?


    Some blond busty beauty with pointy ears wearing a dirty green wool dress was holding me in her arms!


    So yeah one technique for dealing with torture is to create an out of body experience, it¡¯s not your pain it¡¯s happing to someone else that kind of thing.  Taking that one step farther you create a warm fluffy delusion to make you feel happy,  apparently my brain thought a blond busty elf would make me happy hahahahaha good job brain¡­wait why am I a baby then? I never had a fetish like that, stupid fucked up brain!


    Well yeah let¡¯s just go with it for now. I didn¡¯t have long to appreciate the hottie holding me anyway I found myself being passed too another woman a black haired flat chested girl with pointy ears and red eyes given the sound of her voice she was the one screaming earlier. The sound of her voice you ask yes she was currently speaking to the blond bombshell strange though I couldn¡¯t place the language. Ah I should say here that I am quite talented linguistically speaking I am fluent in seven different languages and I understand at least in part a dozen more. This seemed almost like English it certainly sounded Germanic but I still couldn¡¯t place it.


    Ahh crap so sleepy the whole world started turning fuzzy then I blacked out.


    So yeah it wasn¡¯t a delusion I was a baby¡­.. THE FUCK¡­..well it beats being tortured hahahahaha.


    As to how this happened ¡­. No clue now moving on. So it¡¯s been a few months now and I have pretty well figured out the language even made a few attempts at conversation they didn¡¯t go so well, poor kid will probably never be the same. Ahh I guess I should explain the nurse that would be the blond elven beauty Sierra had a five year old daughter named Sin she was somewhat of a conversationalist, and by somewhat I mean she went around all day asking freaking annoying questions.  The rest of her day was spent air quotes playing with me. Manhandling was more like it putting me in her old dresses and putting her mother¡¯s makeup on me.  Now I like being in drag as much as the next man unless the next man is a wandering transvestite. So I had had enough when we were alone I spoke out.


    ¡°Yo she-bitch the fuck you think you doing HUNNH put lipstick on me again and I swear to god I will burn your house down with you and your family in it!¡±


    I know I know it wasn¡¯t the best thing to say to a five year old girl but I had spent the last thirty-three years of my life in the butt crack of the world, also hindsight is twenty-twenty.


    I imagine the scene was really quite humorous her lying on the floor coloring with her mother¡¯s lipstick and me still wearing the dress squatting down and grabbing her hair and pulling her face up to mine and me with a candy stick coming out of the side of my mouth like some Cuban cigar giving her and me giving my very best baby rape face hahahahaha¡­.yeah I am sick.


    Well her reaction was priceless and I was never put in a dress again so I think it all balances out in the end.


    I guess this is the part where I stop joking around this might be a good time to explain my previous life was fucked up. I don¡¯t particularly want to spend a long time discussing it as I would rather forget all of it if I could but I can¡¯t so here we go.


    I was born white what nationality I have no idea sometime when I was five or six my parents thought a safari would be fun. So we went to Africa long story short¡­they died killed by a band of rouge soldiers I won¡¯t go into details of their deaths except to say I wish I didn¡¯t know the details¡­they didn¡¯t have a peaceful death. And what happened to me you ask it seems white children make great child soldiers the native soldiers are suspicious of their own but put the white kid in cute clothes and it looks like a tourist was separated from his family.


    After a few years of drug running, fighting, and whoring myself I finally escaped that hell. A weapons merchant thought I would be useful so I was traded for two crates of ammunition. That was what I was worth to the soldiers. At least with the weapons merchant I didn¡¯t have to whore myself out, I even learned quite a bit their group. It was almost like a highly dysfunctional family. Ray was an ex-navy seal he taught me boxing, knife fighting, and tactics, I was already pretty good with a gun. Felix was a little redheaded girl former I.R.A and the eod specialist she could turn anything into a bomb. She also taught me how to drink. Saurtobi an older Japanese man was the planner but he also was proficient in judo, jujitsu, and real Kenjutsu not this kendo crap but a real way of the sword, ah he was also an incorrigible liar.


    They did all right by me but no good thing lasts forever I was maybe 20 and a deal went wrong only Ray and I made it out. Ray just didn¡¯t make it out in one piece. Still he looked after me set me up as enforcer for this Mexican drug cartel. My day job was as a tattoo artist which was just a front for the cartel but turns out I was pretty good at it I enjoyed it quite a bit that lasted ten years or so before something went wrong. A rival cartel got me took me to some compound who knows where and would alternate between torture and sticking me in this little hole for days on end.


    So yeah it was a charmed life, BULLSHIT. Now I have my second chance I don¡¯t know why and I don¡¯t care either but I will make the most of it.


    So who wants to hear about my new life now that I can understand what¡¯s going on for starters I live in a two bedroom house with no bathroom or plumbing of any kind. Apparently this world¡¯s technology level is somewhere around the Middle Ages but with the existence of magic people rarely get sick and most injuries can be healed relatively quickly and yet no one thought to come up with a magic toilet?


    And as to what my family does well my mother her name is Silla she is the pharmacist and healer for this village she is also a dark elf which is one of the magic races, my father Dante is a mountain of a man who is a blacksmith by trade as well as a city councilman and chief of the militia and a human. What does all this mean you ask, it means this really crappy house is actually one of the nicest in the village.


    So why did I only introduce my parents by their first name? It¡¯s because they only have one name only nobility has two names or more.


    Magic that¡¯s right mofos I can use magic now. I started learning simply by listening to my mother explain to customers about her process naturally she didn¡¯t let any trade secrets slip but I could piece stuff together with enough time.


    Basically I this world there exist three classes of beings there are magic beasts, magic races, and humans.


    Magic beasts are crazy fantasy monsters that don¡¯t die of old age and have indeterminate growth and the ability to use magic. An example would be a magic lizard that isn¡¯t eaten after a hundred years or so grows into a crocodile like beast and after five hundred years it¡¯s something like a dinosaur and after a thousand years it becomes a dragon and gains the use of magic.  Magic races like elves and dwarves and such can use magic once they learn how and they to have an unending life span. Finally you have the humans that only live maybe a hundred years and can¡¯t use magic. So how there are still humans well humans are smart lil bastards and they discovered something very cool called soul energy.


    Soul energy is something like Ki or chakra or whatever you wanna call it but just discovering it wasn''t enough after all soul energy takes a long time to cultivate so humans created soul weapons.


    Matter and energy are indestructible right well so is soul energy and humans found a way to transfer soul energy upon death to objects. This was a massive leap for humans but it still wasn¡¯t enough after all even if you collected the soul energy of six generations that lived till eighty you still only get a four hundred and eighty year energy which would put them on par with maybe a two hundred year magic beast or a twenty year old magic race. So humans learned cultivation methods through meditation to increase the rate of soul energy growth. This increased energy growth by ten times the amount.


    Finally humans learned to extract soul energy from magic beasts.


    this brought peace between humans and the magic race after all humans were only too happy to kill the magic beats that ate the magic races and the magic race learned to make magic weapons to give the humans making them stronger still.


    All that leads to me a hybrid. My father was a human who possessed impressive power saved my mother a dark elf from a magic beast. They fell in love and here I am yay for love.


    What does that mean it means my mother is an elf and like an elf I can use magic and like my father I can use soul energy in fact I even brought my soul energy from my previous life with me. Hahahahaha funny story bout that the meditation cultivation that they use is pretty much the same as the exercises Saurtobi taught me for calming and centering myself before a fight so when I was born I possessed a two hundred and forty year soul energy. So I guess I have no choice but to aim to be the ridiculously over powered hero hahahahaha also it¡¯s not like baby¡¯s can do much so I ended up doing the exercises a lot over the first few years. I am still not sure if soul energy goes through growth phases like children do or if I just spent so much more time on the exercises because I was bored but by the time I was four years old my power had swollen to the three hundred year point.


    Now I told you I could use magic so why the big ass explanation on soul energy? That¡¯s because magic is soul energy just not yours. Soul energy is the energy inside of you magic is the energy of the entire planet that has been around for millions if not billions of years collecting energy.


    Now the power difference is obvious but what if you try to use such power without safety precautions¡­.you explode think of it like trying to grab power lines from the biggest power plant ever with your bare hands then funnel that power without burning to a crisp. Magic races learned to use runes and spoken word even numbers like components of an electric circuit to complete a process without burning themselves up. The magic beasts have a different method that evolves there bodily growth but I don¡¯t really get it so I will leave that for latter.


    The simplest way to think of the two is as in a game soul energy which comes from within boosts your passive abilities like your speed and strength. Magic are like the crazy ass powerful special attacks that take forever to charge.


    When I turned two I started to draw using sticks on the muddy ground  clearly I was no Davinchi painting his Mona Lisa I didn''t have the dexterity or the body control but I still remembered my techniques and proportions so it was far from a two year old scribble I could even write. The first time mother saw she only arched her eyebrow took be by the hand and led me inside that¡¯s when mother started teaching me rune magic.


    My magic studies went well sort of I never really studied in my other life so I wasn''t that much better than a two year old there but I was focused and determined to learn. When father saw how abnormally focused I could be he sensed a maturity beyond my supposed years and so even over mothers complaints he taught me how to use soul energy and weapons.


    That¡¯s how I started combat training at the age of three.


    I am now four years old for the last two years I have learned rune magic and soul energy usage and I have made quite the great strides in improving them.


    I had combat training in the morning before father went to work at the smithy mostly just running laps around the house and strength training, what you didn¡¯t really think they would give a weapon to a three year old did you? But it was enough to wear my small body out so when I got tired I would cultivate my soul energy and then practice my judo, boxing, and other fighting arts by myself till lunch then after that it was rune practice for a few hours then sin would come by after the village school let out and we would play till father got home.


    Now you might be wondering why I would play with the girl who once put me in dresses? I could spin you some lie about how I needed to blend in with normal children or how it was a sign that I had forgiven her and moved on, but that would be complete bullshit I didn¡¯t care for any of that. The real reason was that she had inherited her mother¡¯s voluptuous body. As it turns out Mrs. Sierra was only half dark elf her mother was a succubus and had gained certain family features THANK YOU GOD FOR GENETICS. Now I am not some pervert, who would sexually assault a child, but that child would one day grow up and so would my big bad wolf HOWL hahahahaha.


    It seemed prudent to make a good impression now which was harder then I first thought. I had completely forgotten the whole baby talking and threatening her thing.


    And that¡¯s how two years passed relatively uneventful. Ow except for the part where I changed how the world used magic forever hahahahaha.


    I was four almost five when on a dark and stormy night (cliche much) father and the militia found a wounded wood elf bearing an important message for a kingdom in the north.  He was traveling as fast as he could when he was ambushed by a magic beast in the woods outside of town. Father was late that night when he came barreling through the door carrying the wood elf like a baby in one arm. As he explained the situation mom was already busy treating him. Things seemed a little touch and go for a while but the managed to stabilize then work on healing him. Of course I helped too I made the runes to heat water and I changed his bandages.


    When he woke up the a few days later I was again changing his bandages.  He quickly grabbed the knife I had used to cut the bandages with and slashed at my face. He got me¡­good I couldn¡¯t help but scream but that only lasted an instant. My training took over and I backhanded the knife moving it away from my face and I hit him with a flat edged fist to the throat that made him drop the knife. Drawn by my scream mother rushed in to see the patient she had worked so hard to save choking with a crushed wind pipe.


    Being so focused on him taking another shot at me I never turned around when mom came in which made her next action so unexpected. She shoved me out of the way hard not even glancing at me I went face down on the floor at this point father came in and saw mother leaning over the stranger healing his throat seeing the situation well in hand he noticed me lying on the floor when he came over and rolled me over. I heard his breath catch and his face go pale then he was yelling for my mother to get over here. As he waited for mother to respond I told him what happened.


    Father instantly leapt up and pushed mother aside fearing the strange elf would hurt her he pinned the elf under his massive body and roared at mother to see to me. This was the first that mother had focused on me she too went pale and started to shake. It seemed I made a pretty gruesome picture


    There are lots of blood vessels in the face so I am sure it looked pretty bad. Honestly it was far from the worst pain I had ever experienced. To them though what they say was there precious little boy a mere four years old with a blood covered face the thick red blood flowing from my right temple into my right eye across the bridge of my nose and down my left cheek. The bastard had got me good.


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    Mother in her shaky voice spoke her healing spell then grabbed a towel to clean the blood but even with the blood gone I couldn''t see anything on my right side the knife had probably cut through my pretty deep¡­that bastard really did get me good.


    While mom held me and sobbed I could still see father his whole body shook with rage as he raised his right hand which glowed with a pale light ready to smash the elf¡¯s head in. At least the elf wasn¡¯t stupid he had already recovered his senses and remembered being attacked by the magic beast and clearly he had been healed so he put the pieces together.


    ¡°WAIT!¡± he cried ¡°I am Lindis Allister cadet magi-knight of Elfhiem.¡±


    That got fathers attention later I learned that the Allister family was the oldest known wood elf lineage and possessed great influence, lands, and gold.


    He then began to apologize profusely for harming the son of the couple who had rescued him and explain his mission in carrying a reply from the nobility of Elfhiem to a letter sent by the principality of Wan Que.


    ¡°I swear on the father tree and the name Allister I will see your son has the care of the finest healers of Elfhiem and gold repayment besides and gold for you as well for my care and treatment. Please allow me to leave I must make all haste in my mission let me leave this in my place until I can return.¡±


    He reached into his satchel that sat on the stool next to his bed and produced a small dagger made of wood that curled around and formed the letter A in flowing script, the mark of the wood elf family Allister.


    After that father released the light from his hand and let him go much to my dismay. The guy promised to pay up and gave us a wooden dagger and we were supposed to be fine with that?


    Seeing the doubt on my face Lindis looked thoughtful then reaching for his belongings he went through the contents of his satchel he said


    ¡°I have precious little to repay you with now beside my oath but aside from the letter of Elfhiem and my sword you may take anything you wish take it all even and send me on my way wearing nothing but my sword if you wish.¡±


    he laughed at that but I could only frown after all who had heard of an exhibitionist elf?


    As I looked through the contents he was right he was traveling light and fast. There wasn''t much there just a small coin purse, travel papers, the wooden dagger, the letter, a spare bowstring for a bow he no longer had it must have broken in the attack. Then I saw something that got my attention paper good parchment paper a good quill pen and red ink? In the four years I had been in this world I had seen only charcoal writing sticks but no ink. He noticed my gaze and softly chuckled


    ¡°you have a good eye young master this vial and parchment are the most valuable things in my bag.¡±


    he then got up and went over to the table on the other side of the room he set the parchment down and dipped the quill in the ink and then began to explain as he wrote.


    ¡°This is no ordinary ink it is thousand year old dragons blood a very precious thing.¡±


    he looked over his shoulder to watch me as he finished writing.


    ¡°Do you know how to read boy?¡±


    this teen calling someone boy was almost laughable but I just nodded my head


    ¡°good then watch this as the ink dries it disappears.¡¯


    And indeed it did there was no sign that the paper had ever been written on ¡°then you simply apply soul energy or magic to it  and tada!¡± the ink blazed back to life glowing blood red it gave off an eerie light.


    This way you can send secret messages. I had to admit that was pretty cool.


    ¡°Still that¡¯s not all it does it also acts as a magic insulator strengthening the power of even simple runes while protecting the user from backlash.¡±


    this really was precious in order to handle more power you need more runes but with this even only a few runes could be really powerful. I took the paper from him and applied my soul energy to it sure enough it became visible again but there was hardly any light just a soft glow. I was somewhat disappointed that it didn''t blaze with light like when Lindis showed me. Lindis noticing my disappointment explained


    ¡°you¡¯re using soul energy right? that¡¯s why it seems duller magic is a much stronger energy source so it shines brighter, still to even make dragons blood visible with soul energy is very difficult you must be quite strong.¡±


    I should explain here that while soul energy and magic are the same type of power how you use it is completely different with soul energy you pull it up through your body and the push it out it is very fast and requires no preparation.  Magic is different magic requires runes or some type of guide  that you pull it through before redirecting it but at no point do you ever bring it into your body it is slow but immensely powerful.


    Being able to master one process is difficult and only elder elves can use both, Ow and me.


    I reached for the magic then I PULLED with all my strength as I dragged the power through the words on the paper. The paper exploded with light like the noon day sun dyed a bloody red. Startled and blinded I let go of the magic and the light and words faded away. As I blinked my eyes a few times still seeing spots from the light I looked around. I saw mom vigorously rubbing her eyes and muttering curses that I shouldn¡¯t have heard so I made sure to remember them for later. Father was stoic and mountainous as usual though the effect was somewhat spoiled by the massive grin plastered on his face and Lindis, Lindis was flat on his ass looking shocked beyond belief hahahahaha that look was priceless.


    ¡°Wait, what ¡­.how to use both Ki and magic¡­.¡±


    his expression shifted from stupefied to serious


    "boy how old are you?¡±


    ¡°Four¡± was my only reply.


    ¡°Name, what is your name boy?¡±


    ¡°Oldor¡±


    ¡°Oldor¡­ the lost language?¡± he whispered.


    Mother nodded ¡°I learned it at the Elfhiem it was said to be the name of the father of all magic.¡±


    Heavy who puts that kind of pressure on their kid to live up to a name like that? But all Lindis did was nod then he grabbed his bag said a quick farewell and all but ran out the door.


    (I will be using Ki instead of soul energy from now on.)


    You can imagine I was quite excited to try out my new toy so the next day so I woke up at first light and I drew a picture I had thought all last night about what to draw so I got right to it I drew a picture of a shield with the runes for strong and hard. Then I tried to cut it, I used the knife that had cut me so easily just a day ago. I stabbed I sliced I chopped and I got nothing. The knife that cut flesh so easy couldn''t even pierce a piece of paper. It was then that I got my brilliant idea mother had shown her bow that had a series of runes carved into it. I took one of mother¡¯s needles and proceeded to tattoo my chest over my heart with the same shield drawing as my picture. The ink faded as soon as I was done leaving only a red patchy spot where the needle marks were. I tried using my Ki and the tattoo appeared with a faint glow. I carefully took the knife and started to slice into my hand. Or I tried to the knife wouldn¡¯t cut more than the first layer of skin like it was a hardened leather. I took a deep breath as I let go of my Ki and started pulling magic through the tattoo into my body. The tattoo blazed brighter and the knife just slid off my skin. It wasn¡¯t even at the level of good leather anymore my skin was hard as steel.


    ¡°HELL YES!!!¡±


    whoops that came out loud. I quickly grabbed my stuff and ran out of the house before mom inevitably came to see that that was all about.


    Just a hundred yards east of the house was a boulder about the same size as a car in what was an old dried up river bed this would be perfect for my next test. I gathered my Ki through the tattoo and watched the light flare up as I took my stance. I lashed out with all my might a powerful right straight, Ray would have been proud it was a good punch. It crashed into the rock and my whole arm started to shake like striking a rock with a sword it doesn''t hurt but the vibrations make you lose feeling in your hands. Not what I was hoping for still the rock couldn''t hurt my iron arm then I realized I still only had the strength of a four year old well I was training so maybe I had the strength of a grown man but it was still pretty pathetic so I decided to take a break from hitting the rock and draw another tattoo. Since I was still blind in my right eye I decided to put the next tattoo on my left forearm I made a spiral of runes running from the back of my hand down to my elbow runes for strength, force, power, crushing, and piercing. I gathered my magic and pulled it into myself as the tattoos burned with fierce light I could feel the power course though me as I took my stance once again. This time I just used a light jab instead of a heavy hit relying on the runes not my puny childish body to strike the blow.


    Since I was born into this new world it had been one new thing after the other I had seen elves and magic beasts but this took the cake. My arm was gone; I could only see up to my elbow as the rest of it had been buried into the massive boulder. I tried to twist my arm free, I needn¡¯t have bothered the boulder had spider web cracks running over the entire surface of it and as I twisted my arm inside of it the entire boulder crumbled.


    There was a certain shock to it I am not really sure how long I had stood there staring at the pieces dumbly. The next thing I knew I heard mother and father calling for me as I turned I saw them running toward me it would seem the previous days excitement still had them on high alert.


    ¡°Oldor what the hell. Are you ok? What happened? Was that an explosion?¡±


    and mother began with a barrage of questions I wasn¡¯t sure how to answer them. Father just seemed to stare at the shrapnel remains of the boulder. Huummm when I broke the boulder maybe it was louder than I thought?


    So the story came out and I showed them the rune tattoos I even went and found another boulder and broke it to the sight of a four year old breaking a boulder with a single punch must be even more impressive than I thought hahahahaha. After that we went back to the house mother it seems had been preparing breakfast when she went looking for me so I had my breakfast while they went in their bedroom to talk. I didn¡¯t have a particularly good feeling about this future conversation but last meal before execution right, at least breakfast was tasty.


    When they came out they both had somber expressions on their faces.


    ¡°Oldor sit down we need to talk.¡±


    Those are not words anyone wants to hear.


    ¡°Oldor how do you know it is that you did?¡±


    ¡°I broke a really big boulder with one punch?¡±


    ¡°No Oldor what you did was something that at least to our knowledge has never been done before.¡±


    No shit a world first huh that¡¯s pretty cool.


    ¡°Oldor in a few months you will turn five years old if you stay here you would go to school until you turn ten then you will be apprenticed to either your father or I.¡±


    I nodded I had heard Sin talk about this before. She would be apprenticed to her mother Sierra as a nurse which seemed like a good Idea to me after all in eight years she would transform into a sexy nurse.


    ¡°But Oldor that¡¯s only if you stay here¡±


    I cocked my head at that this wasn¡¯t quite what I was expecting. ¡°Oldor what your mother is saying is that we know you can do so much more¡­you are meant to be greater than village life.¡±


    ¡°Mother father I do love you both very much¡±


    I was a little surprised that popped out I hadn¡¯t meant for it to but I really did feel that way this had certainly been the most pleasant time of either of my lives.


    ¡°And I may very well be meant for more but I am quite happy here and even if I wasn¡¯t there aren¡¯t a lot of other options.¡±


    ¡°That is where you are wrong son you see it might actually be quite fortunate but the Allister family owes you one and they will pay back what they owe.¡±


    I shook my head I wasn¡¯t following this conversation kept taking turns I wasn¡¯t expecting hell I am still waiting to get scolded for breaking a perfectly good boulder or something. Father saw my confusion and explained.


    ¡°The Allister¡¯s are a rich and powerful family they have any number of ways of opening doors for a better future for you.¡±


    Mother picked up where father left off. ¡°Indeed Oldor when they learn about you they would be excited to have you.¡±


    Mother and father just started running over each other at this point


    ¡°When they see how strong you are they may want to marry you into the family!¡±-father


    ¡°Or they may even adopt you.¡±-mother


    ¡°At the very least they would want you in their honor guard.¡±-father


    ¡°And through it all they can provide a better education for you than we ever could.¡±-mother


    It seemed they were feeding off of each other¡¯s enthusiasm building in excitement until it seemed that they would explode.


    In all honesty I was very content to live out my days in this village I had never longed for some great adventure. Instead it was these peaceful days I craved that acted like a balm that would sooth my soul. That said they were so excited to see their son have such any opportunity at a better life I felt a sharp pain in my gut and a weight settled in on my shoulders. As they kept rambling on I sat there with a smile on my face nodding the whole time while my thoughts turned inward. What was this pain, this weight? For the first time in two lives I truly cared about people. They had expectations for what I could become and I didn¡¯t want to disappoint even if it caused me personal pain. I made a silent oath to myself to take this opportunity they so badly wanted for me and somehow use it to make their lives better.


    It was another two weeks before Lindis returned. Dante and Silla sent me outside to play and it was sometime before they called me back in.


    It was then that Lindis explained what the plan they had agreed upon


    ¡°Oldor I have promised to take you with me to Elfhiem I will provide lodging and an allowance even your school fees all out of my own pocket if need be but I will but busy with my own studies as well as student missions. You will have to look after yourself I won¡¯t be able to and I can¡¯t promise anything from my family I speak only for what I can do myself.¡±


    ¡°Do you think you can handle that Oldor?¡±


    ¡°Yes!¡±


    I said while nodding my head vigorously. I didn¡¯t really blame Lindis for being unenthusiastic after all if you went you to a seventeen year old guy who suddenly had a four year old dumped on you that would really cramp your style. Also I am an admittedly creepy little kid after all I have pasty white skin long straight black hair one red eye and a horrible looking scar on my face. Now add on the fact that I don¡¯t act like a child at all I use bad language make the occasional death threat and blow up massive boulders with a single punch; Yeah whole lot to love here.


    Lindis spent the night with us and I got my things together not that it was all that much we then spent the night and left out the next morning.


    As we headed over the hill and I was just about to lose sight of mother and father I could still hear them yelling their goodbyes. I won¡¯t lie the whole four years seemed like a peaceful dream one I feared I would never have again. Then we crested the hill and I set my face forward I did feel a certain anxiety and excitement battling in the pit of my stomach; my excitement won now onwards to Elfhiem.

 2. babys first journey

    hello so yeah this is my first fan fic and constructive criticism or grammatical correction numerous though they be are appreciated.


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    Our trip to Elfhiem should have been relatively uneventful¡­it wasn¡¯t. Do you remember the magic beast that attacked Lindis? Well I had completely forgotten about it as had Lindis it seems. It didn¡¯t forget about him though.


    Just after we had descended the first hill and headed towards the forest not a mile from the start of our journey a massive boar horse appeared. There are a few things one should know about wild boar horses 1) they are extremely aggressive, 2) they are massive powerful beasts with razor sharp meter long tusks. 3) During rutting season the beasts lose what little reason they had. Seriously an ant could sneeze on the other side of the planet and that would be enough to send them into a murderous rage 4)right now was rutting season and given the broken arrows coming out of his flank he had plenty of reason to be pissed. It would seem that neither Lindis nor the militia that found him had done a very good job of making sure the beast was dead.


    I looked at Lindis asking with my eyes what to do so as not to spook the beast by speaking. Lindis completely missed my questioning glance his spoken reply however did not fill me with confidence.


    ¡°By the gods¡¯ bollocks run Oldor run!¡±


    he paying me no further attention started to sprint for the forests edge. Really? You are going to leave the four year old boy you not an hour gone promised to look after while you run for safety? I should be grateful I suppose that he didn¡¯t kick me or something at least he was kind enough to tell me and my stubby childish legs to run¡­that bitch.


    Even with my Ki I didn¡¯t think I could outrun the long legged beast and Lindis had a head start on me. I would surely be mowed down the moment I turned my back. So I used the only option I had left I took a fighting stance and started dragging magic through my tattoos. The eerie blood red light seeping through my shirt seemed to dye me in a dangerous light. Seeing my challenge the massive beast lowered his ugly boar head and charged forward.


    Have you ever stood your ground in front of a train? I haven¡¯t but I imagine it would be a rather similar experience as the two ton beast barrels down on you like a bullet shot from hell. Its tusks striking sparks on the rocks it tramples past. Watching it move closer fifty meters, forty, thirty, ten I realize this is far from my best idea this beast is freaking fast. You know I may have skin as hard as steel but I only weight twenty five kilos the beast weighed two thousand. Simple physics says that I am the being that gets moved and physics was right, as he hit me I wrapped my right arm around one of his tusks and held on.  When he hit me he didn¡¯t even slow down and me hanging on didn¡¯t seem to bother him either perhaps he thought I was impaled. All he did was turn slightly to the left and head for Lindis who was not running near fast enough. Shifting my magic to the runes on my left arm I still held on for dear life with my right I cocked my fist and punched him square between the eyes. Well I say punch but it looked more like I shot him with a rocket launcher as my arm buried into his skull. There wasn¡¯t much blood I was a little disappointed by that but the way his eyes shot out of his head more than made up for it in a comical sort of way. Alas physics again would have the last laugh for a body in motion tends to stay in motion and his body was in a very extreme sort of motion. His front legs gave out and his massive head or what was left of it fell forward plowing my tiny body into the ground. The back legs however kept going which led to it flipping end over end. My right arm still holding onto the tusk had it locked in a death grip but only on the tusk which broke  off just as it flipped end over end catapulting me high into the sky.


    This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.After I landed and pulled myself into a sitting position I realized three things 1) steel skin doesn¡¯t protect you from concussions and my brain had definitely been shaken. 2) Lindis was laughing his ass off; the man had no redeeming features besides his family money. And 3) I am Awesome I just one shot a magic beast as a four year old hell yeah!


    Finally collecting himself Lindis came swaggering over. Why he was swaggering when he ran screaming like a little bitch I have no idea. ¡°Hahahahaha Oldor we sure make a good team huh killing magic beasts like that we are really great.¡± The hell? Noticing my not so approving look Lindis explained that this had been his plan all along. ¡°See I knew we wouldn¡¯t have a chance unless I showed some real brilliance, but with me running and acting as bait to draw him towards me you would have a chance to prepare your magic and my plan worked brilliantly hahahahaha.¡±  Now my brain wasn¡¯t working great at the moment but I was fairly certain that mother and father had never mentioned my glowing tattoos of death but since I wasn¡¯t a part of that conversation I couldn¡¯t say for sure. My own pet theory was that he saw the slobbering brute of a beast and ran screaming like a bitch ass pussy while I killed it. Still I decided to let it go as long as he could help me back to my house so I could have mother heal me.


    And that¡¯s how the first day of my journey went getting attacked by a magic beast not a mile from my house, getting a concussion, getting healed and going to bed. Now I am no prophet but that should have said something about how the rest of my journey was going to go, fucking foreshadowing.


    As we once again left the next day and I looked back at my smiling parents I could feel my anxiety and excitement fighting again but this time excitement wasn''t winning.

 3. travelling sinners

    As I set out on my first journey for the second time I felt a bit more certain. After all I could kill a magic beast with one shot but I still could not be careless and given my useless traveling companion I would be looking out for myself. As we set out Lindis seemed cheerier than yesterday and struck up a conversation.


    ¡°So Oldor that¡¯s some pretty powerful magic to kill a boar horse like that and even after you took a hit head on like that you were fine.¡±


    It wasn¡¯t a question so I just nodded in response.


    ¡°Even though you were fine I don¡¯t get why you needed healing?¡±


    that would be rather difficult to explain this world seemed to have no knowledge of what a concussion was even mother who could be considered a medical professional didn¡¯t know exactly what was wrong only that my head needed healing. No chance that this idiot would understand and worse he might question how a four year old would know such things. My magic and Ki talent could be explained as me being a prodigy but having knowledge like that, would be difficult to explain away. So I chose not to answer I just acted like I hadn¡¯t heard him and began whistling while quickening my pace. Perhaps he was not so dense after all at least he changed his approach.


    ¡°Well even if you don¡¯t know what you did need healing but your mother was a healer did she never teach you?¡±


    ¡°Huummm mother uses spoken words in her healing but I have only learned rune magic so I can¡¯t heal like she could.¡±


    ¡°


    I see still couldn¡¯t you use runes to heal or even put the runes on your body like you did the others?¡±


    With a concussion using magic would be suicide fortunately there was an easier way to answer his question.


    ¡°I would have but I used up all the dragons blood on the first two tattoos,¡±


    ¡°Tattoos?¡± he seemed to mull over the word. Perhaps there wasn¡¯t even a concept of tattoos in this world?


    ¡°It is the word I made up for putting pictures on your skin.¡± I said. He seemed to accept that like it was just a word made up by a child.


    ¡°Still as incredible as that magic is to have used up a vile of dragons blood for that is a high price to pay.¡±


    I was quite surprised to hear that after all dragons are quite large while they might be hard to kill they should have lots of blood.


    ¡°Is it really that expensive?¡±


    I was worried now my daydream of a dragon¡¯s blood tattoo parlor was fading away. Actually that would be a really sick name for my future dream business.


    ¡°Indeed a vile sells for around a hundred gold you could buy most of your village for that price.¡±


    Granted it was a small village only around three hundred people but still. My family had been considered rather well off and we never even had close to a hundred gold hell I had never even seen fifty gold all at once.


    ¡°Was it really ok for you to give something so valuable away?¡±


    I had never had much even in my other life and I never gave up what little I had willingly.


    Such generosity as expected of a rich boy, maybe he wasn¡¯t such a bad guy after all.


    ¡°Actually why did you even have a vile of something so expensive?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s simple so I could send secret messages to my family about information I found or if things didn¡¯t go well and I was in trouble I could send a message for rescue.¡±


    Hearing that I tripped and nearly fell on my face. I couldn¡¯t help but stare at him I needed to revise my opinion of him again. He was definitely a good guy and also a huge idiot. Not only did he just admit to spying but he also gave away something that was essentially a lifeline in case of emergencies. No wait he totally abandoned me in front of the magic beast so I scratched good guy off my list of his qualities too.


    Speaking of the magic beast it should be lying somewhere around here. Looking for it my eyes stumbled onto a group of men that had gathered around the corpse. Seems they were harvesting the corpse gathering the Ki for weapons the meat for food the skin for leather even the tusks for the ivory. While it¡¯s true I killed it and should rightfully claim it we were in a hurry and I didn¡¯t want to bother with it.


    Until something caught my attention a blond headed pointy eared oppai loli in a maid uniform¡­..THANK YOU GOD. I nearly broke down in tears on the spot after all dreams really do come true.  But I couldn¡¯t cry even if I wanted to after all I knew that blond busty loli. ¡°Sin?¡±


    I started walking that way¡­ok I was jogging and trying very hard not to break into a run. Lindis seemed to think I wanted to see the corpse salvaging and was quite content to wait by the road. Or so I thought in the next instant he had caught up to me and his pace was increasing. I saw that predatory gleam in his eye well there was only one thing to do about that. I slid his direction and rotated into his path using his own momentum I bashed him with a hard blow to the liver that dropped him like a shotgun blast. Not giving him a second glance I walked on towards Sin funny though I somehow felt refreshed and it must be an illusion but the day seemed to be more beautiful than it had been a moment ago.


    ¡°Sin, oy Sin.¡± I called out to her


    ¡°Ow Oldor hi isn¡¯t this cool it¡¯s the first time I have ever seen such a big magic beast before.¡±


    She really did seem to be excited to watch them dismember the beast which honestly was a little creepy because it is quite gory work.


    ¡°Sin what are you doing here aren¡¯t you supposed to be in school?¡±


    ¡°Ow that I decided not to go anymore.¡±¡­¡­.I was a bit stunned by that since that is not really something a child can decide.


    ¡°Then why are you out here?¡±


    ¡°These nice men are traders from Elfhiem but because of this fierce magic beast they couldn¡¯t leave the village anyway they are lots of fun and they played with me a lot.


    ¡±


    I hadn¡¯t even noticed the group of traders in the village I had been so focused on my own trip to Elfhiem.


    ¡°Ow and this one Mr. said I was overflowing with talent and that I should go to Elfhiem with his group so they could protect me and introduce me to all kinds of new friends. Look he even gave me this pretty new dress!¡±


    after saying that she started to twirl and the already short skirt started to rise higher and higher we were in dangerous territory now. MOTHER FUCKERS; child abduction I bet he really would introduce her to ¡°all kinds¡± of new people but I doubt many would be friendly as least in the way she thought. Still to be so innocent she didn¡¯t even recognize a maid uniform and a rather risqu¨¦ one at that well I suppose no one in our village could afford to keep a maid and if they did have such a fetish they would certainly keep it behind closed doors. At that point Lindis showed up a little vomit splashed up on his collar apparently my blow had more stopping power than I thought hehehehe. It seemed he had caught the last part of our conversation though and his eyes narrowed and his hand went to his sword. Ow a rather gallant reaction given the predatory glint in his own eye and since he had a history of running from danger before. I shall have to reevaluate my opinion of him yet again it seems. He leaned in to whisper to me.


    Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.¡°Oldor these are men not beasts it will make a lot of trouble for us if you kill them just remember that if things go bad.¡±


    That¡¯s actually some sound advice it¡¯s true if my magic could waste a magic beast what would it do to a human? I will just have to stick to using my Ki then.


    Lindis stepped forward towards the working men. ¡°That¡¯s a fine catch you have there.¡± He called out t them.


    The man who was overseeing the work looked up and seeing Lindis turned around.


    ¡°Indeed it is.¡± He replied ¡°we had quite the good fortune to find such exquisite goods unattended.¡±


    The actual words were harmless his tone and the hunger in his eyes that he directed towards Sin ruled out any polite meaning. Turning back around to see to the work he seemed to pay us no more attention. Lindis approached intent on keeping the conversation going but that was the wrong approach. Someone needed to cock block this guy for good. So I did I slid forward in a shuffling step gathering my Ki I reached up between his legs grabbing a handful of balls and I gripped hard pouring my Ki into it. Just as the shock hit him I kicked him in the back of his knees dropping him down to my height then I put power into my waist and spun to the side like a top bringing my elbow up to bash into his temple. This time he sprawled to flat on the grass and he didn¡¯t make a sound.


    Sin looked rather surprised and clearly wanted to say something. Lindis well he had his toes turned in and was covering his junk with both hands while wearing an expression that said he was staring into the eyes of a ferocious magic beast and was certain to meet his doom.


    At this point the working men noticed the lack of nagging that their boss had been continuously spewing out and turned around. Seeing their boss sprawled out they didn¡¯t have much reaction the heartless bums. Then they saw sin standing by Lindis behind me that lit a fire in them. If their boss got his ass kicked so what he probably had it coming but these filthy interlopers dare mess with their oppai elf loli maid. That was a sin punishable by death they took up their tools and a few even had polearms that were pointed our way.


    It was time for a little shock and awe I channeled magic through the runes on my arm letting the bloody light dance before their eyes. I slammed my fist into the ground blasting out a massive crater and blowing rock and soot four meters into the air. They stopped in their tracks as I strode forward stepping up and resting my leg on their bosses back like some trophy I killed then I stomped him; right in the balls while laughing like a maniac. If blowing a fucking crater in the ground stopped them then watching me bash their bosses balls made all of them drop their weapons. None of their hands went up in surrender though they one and all covered their junk.


    Looking back at Lindis and sin I smiled


    ¡°See I didn¡¯t kill anybody just like you wanted Lindis in fact they seem like pretty reasonable people to me.¡±


    I said while smiling. Lindis looked like he was about to hurl again but he just nodded.


    We had the men gather what they had stripped off the corpse to take back to the village. After we returned and explained to the militia it was decided that since I killed it I would receive the payment for the parts they had collected and that the traders would be kicked out of the village for the crime of trying to lure Sin away.


    With that settled and my earnings tucked away a whole ten gold we returned to my house where we were told Sins mother Mrs. Sierra was waiting with my own parents.


    That conversation did not go at all like I expected. It started like I thought it would with us explaining the story and Mrs. Sierra being worried and father wanting to go bash the scumbag¡¯s heads in. it was when they went to leave though things went a completely different direction.


    ¡°I am going to Elfhiem.¡± At Sins bold declaration everyone froze.


    ¡°Sweetie you can¡¯t go all that way by yourself and where would you go who would you stay with you doesn¡¯t know anyone there.¡±


    Mrs. Sierra tried dissuading her until Lindis stepped in.


    ¡°Actually Odor and I are headed to Elfhiem she could stay with me and even gain a connection to the Allister family as well.¡± Of all the stupid things to¡­ the light from the runes on my arm flared to life. In an instant Lindis curled his toes and covered himself while apologizing. I must say it was quite a satisfying reaction, my satisfaction was quickly replaced by shock however.


    ¡°Well okay if she has companions to watch over her and a place to stay I suppose its fine.¡±


    The hell? Of all the irresponsible things a parent could say. I mean yes technically I am doing the same thing but I still have the memories of a grown man plus I can take care of myself. As Sin rushed off to get her things together her mother started to explain.


    ¡°Sin is an idiot.¡± ¡°I work in my own household as well as the backup nurse and healer in case anything happens whether it is a disaster where many people need help or if Silla is sick like when you were born Oldor.¡±


    ¡°But Sin she is an absolute sweetheart and completely incompetent she would not be able to handle those responsibilities. It doesn¡¯t matter if it is doing laundry cooking or tending a wound sin is completely helpless. If she goes to the city she could certainly meet a nice moneyed man who could take her in and love her after all she is my daughter.¡±


    Saying that she straightened up which set her massive rack to bouncing  I couldn¡¯t believe my ears could this really be happening could one really exist, a clumsy, busty, elven, loli, maid dear god in the heavens I thank you. Wait I slammed my hands down on the table what if it was a gothic maid she could even wear glasses she could hit seven different fetishes at once not only that we would be living under the same roof. Someone coughed and I looked up finally escaping my delusions everyone was staring at me. I silently cursed Saurtobi for giving me all these perverted habits still I needed to act fast to cover over my unnatural actions.


    ¡°Very well I pledge my life I will make sure Sin stays safe and cared for no matter what trials I may face you have my word on it as a man.¡±


    Hearing that Mrs. Sierra came around the table and wrapped me up in a great bear hug going on about what a cute and responsible little man I was. Honestly I wasn¡¯t listening I had lost myself in the soft bouncy sensations yay.


    ¡°I to pledge on the father tree that I shall do all in my power to make sure little miss Sin has a comfortable and enjoyable stay in Elfhiem!¡±


    it would seem Lindis wanted in on some of this hugging action. Mrs. Sierra let me go and went over to Lindis and held his hand while thanking him telling him what a great reassurance that was that her daughter would be in good hands.


    So it was decided that we would head to Elfhiem in the morning all three of us.


    when we were leaving out I realized I had left for Elfhiem twice but I still hadn¡¯t made it more than a mile from my house. What is it they say third times the charm right? Anyways that¡¯s how I left on my first adventure for the third time.

 4. Samuel l. Jackson

    I DID IT finally I made it a more than a mile from my house and then another and another¡­and another. What the hell? It was so boring my first two excitement filled tries seem to have mislead me. Travel in this world is exceptionally tedious. Don¡¯t get me wrong I have walked long distances before; I once marched seventy miles in eight hours in full combat gear under the scorching African sun. It wasn¡¯t a matter of me not being able to handle it. This is a fantasy world right, adventure waiting around every turn this is supposed to be that kind of setting right? Where are the strange and wondrous magic beasts and the big boobed damsels in distress? All I saw were a bunch of fucking trees and rocks and one long dusty dirt road.


    Sin was very excited though after all this was her adventure debut. She was eagerly pestering Lindis with all sorts of questions which Lindis was equally excited to answer but after a quick reminder from me he kept a little more distance and was more cautious in his answers.


    Actually I too had some questions for Lindis I was after all new to this world as well.


    ¡°Lindis I was wondering why there was a road here?¡± -me


    It was a fair question after all this world had no logging or road machinery so all of this would have been done by hand with the occasional magic blast used to remove a troublesome rock or two. This meant that most roads followed the path of least resistance by moving parallel to a river it also served the double purpose by giving travelers access to fresh water for them and their beasts.


    ¡°Huummm that that was my family¡¯s doing. My great grandparents wanted to expand their logging industry as well as establish a faster trade route to the northern kingdoms. The money earned from the logging more than paid for the construction of building the road and by charging tolls they even made money on the deal. Then by supplying goods to the north faster than competitors they secured several large contracts all in all it was a very profitable venture.¡± -Lindis


    I was surprised his family had pretty good business sense.


    ¡°Wait if you are a rich boy and this is your families road why are you walking shouldn¡¯t you be in a carriage riding in style or something?¡± ¨Cme


    ¡°Sure I have a blacked out carriage with one hundred cm iron wheels pulled by six shadow cats. It¡¯s just that I can¡¯t use it when I am on knight business, as a cadet-knight I am not allowed to use my personal equipment or else it may cause discrimination in the ranks and the knights do pride themselves on their unity.¡± -Lindis


    Spoiled brat getting some sick ride with daddy¡¯s money it doesn¡¯t matter what world you are in that doesn¡¯t seem to change.


    ¡°You did mention you were a cadet-knight before what exactly does that mean?¡± ¨Cme


    ¡°Oldor silly boy it means he is a future knight in shining armor to help the weak and fight monsters save princesses, mother said so.¡± ¨CSin


    Lindis smiled at that. ¡°While that certainly is a possibility the cadet knights is a school of higher learning that prepares its students for governmental positions and it tries inculcating a set of core values into its students all to make sure the great city of Elfhiem has the best possible future leaders.¡± -Lindis


    Given the core values Lindis had shown namely cowardice, loli lust, and fear of the unknown I didn¡¯t see Elfhiem as having much of a future.


    After that I left the pestering or ah question asking to Sin who seemed to have an endless stream of questions for Lindis. After that I lost my self in thought until I walked right into an ass. It was Lindis ass to be exact, he had stopped and bent over to start setting out lunch which I had completely missed while lost in my thoughts.


    As the shock of what settled in I ran off a little ways to empty my stomach. Burying my face in a man¡¯s ass was not on my to do list of things I want to try before I die again.


    Leaning against a rock I tried to settle my stomach, while Lindis embarrassedly did a sniff check on his own ass. Really? Granted the smell wasn¡¯t pleasant after all he was a teen who had been walking all day in the sun in a dirty uniform but I have smelled worse. And why the hell was Sin blushing like that don¡¯t tell me she was into that boys love shit.


    Faintly blushing himself Lindis approached me. ¡°Oldor you ok ah um¡­ was it really that unpleasant?¡±


    ¡­¡­¡­What the fuck? Why the hell would you say that while looking all embarrassed don¡¯t go trying to raise shit flags like that, and why was Sin looking at us with shiny eyes like that no wait was she actually drooling a bit?


    There was nothing I could say literally my mouth seemed to have frozen up. The runes on my arm flared into light which was quickly followed by Lindis backing up while chuckling nervously.


    ¡°Ahh hey did you notice that stone pillar you threw up on it actually has quite an interesting story.¡± ¨CLindis


    Well at least he was trying to change the subject and Sin had finally snapped out of her starry eyed gaze so I went along with it motioning for him to continue with his story.


    ¡°No one is sure by how much but this pillar predates the road my great grandparents built. In fact this was at one time the exact center of the forest so there are many different theories as to what the purpose of this pillar was though the most common held belief was that it was some sort of guide post to navigate the forest but no other posts were ever found so it was decided that it would be made into a signpost for the new road and its original purpose was never revealed.¡± ¨CLindis


    That actually was quite the fascinating story and as Lindis went on I found myself studying the thing I had just puked on and was surprised to discover that it was¡­ a giant dick. Well it was a white obelisk two and a half meters tall. Now all obelisks inherently look like dicks but the two round wood signs at the base of the pillar telling the distances to the next town in each direction didn¡¯t help.


    As we sat down to a lunch of dry bread and smoked meat and cheese I couldn¡¯t help thinking about the big dick err pillar and what Lindis had said. Why would you put a sign post in the middle of the forest? Wouldn¡¯t it make more sense to put it at the forest edge directing people around or to the nearest road? And if it was a sign post wouldn¡¯t it have markings showing directions? The pillar however was completely smooth it didn¡¯t seem to have worn down even after who knows how long it had been here.  So the markings would not have faded either. Lost in thought I began clenching my fist again and again. If I thought about it like a story what would be the point of a pillar in the exact center of the forest hold? Was it maybe a device to signal a boss fight? Even if it wasn¡¯t it must trip some sort of flag right? No that didn¡¯t make sense either unless maybe there was some prerequisite no even then there would be some kind of inscription on the pillar some instructions of some sort. I do not like difficult things and using my head hurts in my frustration I channeled my KI into my hand and punched the ground I was sitting on. It made a satisfying THUNK smiling at that I kept staring at my hand, at the glowing light from the runes on my hand¡­.


    I jumped to my feet and marched toward the obelisk Sin and Lindis both surprised by my actions let me go alone. That was it where were the markings that was what kept bothering me. There must be some of some kind but what if they couldn¡¯t be seen without using magic like the dragons blood!


    I approached the obelisk and laying my hand against it I very gently began to pull magic through it. Slowly starting from the top a series of blood runes began to appear as if an invisible man stood before it writing them out. They were not all runes however there was also an inscription which read.


    ¡°Release thy mighty rod from its hard prison and all shall tremble before your might.¡±¡­..


    ¡°Ps. Place magic here?¡±


    Really, well who am I to argue with random roadside obelisks. I gathered my magic and channeled it into the rune indicated in the description, and nothing happened¡­.


    I gathered all the magic I could and hurled it at the rune and this time I got a reaction. A gentle wind rose and began to swirl around it as the obelisk slowly turned to sand and blew away revealing¡­ another dick. Well not a dick per say but it was a one and a half meter long staff with a rather phallic shaped black stone affixed to the top of the staff. Runes were etched into both the stone and the staff itself.


    ¡°Hahahahaha freedom mother fuckers it only took you idiots ten millennium to figure out how to open a shitty box but at last I can breathe.¡±


    Insert awkward silence here¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­


    ¡°The fuck? A talking dick, no a dick on a stick just called me stupid¡­¡± ¨Cme


    ¡°Oy oy who did you just call a dick on a stick I will have you know I am the mighty rod of Oldor father of magic.¡±


    ¡°You do know you  just called yourself a mighty rod?¡± ¨CLindis


    As I turned around I saw that Lindis and Sin were both there standing a few feet behind me.


    ¡°Wait you said you were Odor¡¯s rod but why did you call him the father of magic?¡±


    it would seem Sin had not heard that particular story before.


    ¡°I see so this youths name is Oldor¡­ how interesting still he is not the Oldor I referred to the Oldor who created both magic as you know it and myself, he lived many millennia ago. He had created many great wonders but having no offspring to pass them onto he sealed them away so that only worthy people would be able to find them.¡±


    This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.


    ¡°As his masterpiece and lifelong companion he sealed me in the most difficult location. In the middle of the great uncharted vethrong forest surrounded by vicious beasts one would need great dedication to hunt for clues to my location, a keen sense to find me in this endless forest, he must possess enormous strength to slay the terrifying magic beasts, and last he must slay a dragon to learn the secrets of the blood before being able to unseal me.¡±


    He seemed to take great pride in making whoever looked for him miserable in a life long journey to gain this magic tool, it would be my greatest pleasure to burst his bubble.


    ¡°Really? but that¡¯s not what happened at all Oldor didn¡¯t look for clues as to where you were he only found you when he threw up on you.¡±


    Well Sin might have beaten me to it but that was rather brutal.


    ¡°Indeed and I didn¡¯t need a keen sense to find you after all you aren¡¯t in the middle of the forest anymore you were being used as a sign for directions on the side of the road, and all the monsters here were exterminated when the road was built.¡±


    I felt rather good about that. Now it might have been an optical illusion but the dick on a stick seemed to be wilting his ¡°head¡± was hanging lower.


    ¡°I am not even sure why you thought Oldor would need to slay a dragon to learn about its blood after all I simply gave him the blood to play with. I suppose if you really wanna thank someone for your freedom you should thank me since Oldor would never have thrown up on you if he hadn¡¯t walked head first into my ass and it was me who told him about the history of the sign post.¡±


    I walked over to Lindis and without a word I hit him with a Ki powered liver blow that dropped him like a rock and left him foaming at the mouth. Seriously what was he thinking bringing up such a horrible memory?


    A long silence went on¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­


    ¡°Excuse me but if you could just seal me back up and be on your way. I think we should both just put this encounter behind us.¡±


    The ungrateful prick. ¡°no way and I wouldn¡¯t know how to reseal you even if I wanted to plus I bet someone would by you for at least a few coins maybe some magic historian would hang you up on his  mantle or a researcher might want to dissect you to see how you work.¡±


    I might have just a little cruel streak.


    ¡°Sell me! I the greatest tool and companion of the mighty Oldor will not stand for this.¡±


    ¡°Blah blah you keep saying you are so great but I I have seen so far is talk.¡±


    Granted I talking stick was kind of cool but this guy was a cock in more ways then one.


    ¡°Fine boy if you doubt me come try me for yourself now grasp my massive shaft!¡±


    I did as he said and then took him and walked a ways away before I slammed him tip first into the ground. The hell was he saying ¡°grasp my massive shaft¡± was the universe trying to tell me something well hell no I refuse.


    A muffled voice kept coming from the ground, how did that happen he doesn¡¯t even have a mouth? After a few minutes I pulled him back out of the ground paraphrasing one of my favorite rappers I shouted.


    ¡°My gift is a curse, I will forget the earth an I have the urge to pull my dick from the dirt and fuck the whole universe.¡±


    Saying that I raised the staff high over my head and started pulling all the magic I could manage through the staff. Black smoke started rising shrouding the staff and I in an ominous darkness.


    The magic power I pulled through the staff started to rise like a flood beyond any power I had ever gathered before. The raging power seeking an outlet started to rampage around my body like black lightning. Pulling the magic from the staff in my right hand through my body into the runes on my chest and then into my left arm the red light flared then shifted turning darker and darker until it too was almost black. I whipped the staff back behind my head as I brought my fist straight into the ground. I could barely even touch the ground the moment I did the back blast lifted me high into the air throwing me backwards. Remembering the last crash landing I had I quickly flipped over putting my feet under me as I crashed down slicing the staff into the dirt drawing a large arc behind me to halt my progress and dissipate any remaining magic power. Coming to a stop I waited for the dust to settle before I could observe the results of my attack. I was impressed¡­ a crater had formed maybe fifty to sixty meters across and a solid five meters deep at the center the shockwave alone had also sent Lindis and Sin flying but at least Lindis had managed to grab Sin and shield her from the fall with his own body while being rewarded with the sensation of her own warm soft ripening body on his in return. As I turned my head around me saw that I had been thrown all the way across the road into the bushes on the side of it. Well there were no bushes where I was instead there was a meter deep groove in the ground tracing a graceful ark where the staff had gouged it to stop my fall.  Holding the staff in my right hand I was trembling with excitement, this was it this was what I wanted from a fantasy world experiencing new things never before seen in my world. Raising the staff up high over my head I couldn¡¯t help shout out.


    ¡°I caught a legendary wild dick!¡±


    Hahahahaha I couldn¡¯t help but laugh this was epic.


    ¡°its good you recognize my power but could you please call me something else anything else really.¡±


    Well I suppose he had at least earned that still what does one name a legendary weapon¡­


    His words kept coming back to me.


    ¡°Grasp my massive SHAFT.¡±¡­..then there were his first words ¡°hahahahaha freedom MOTHER FUCKERS.¡± There was also the fact that he was a massive black dick¡­


    ¡°Very well my friend there is but one name I can give you, from this day forward you shall be called Samuel l. Jackson though I shall call you jack for short.¡±


    He seemed to like that quite a lot actually so having settled that I went to check on Lindis and Sin. Sin was kneeling over Lindis head while giving him a lap pillow the enviable bastard. After discussing it with Sin and Lindis it became apparent that Lindis had broken hi leg in the fall he took while shielding Sin so we decided to head back to my house still only a half days walk away instead of try to make it to Elfhiem which was still two and a half days away.


    If ever there was a strange adventurer party we were it after all you had me a pasty white skinned red eye black haired four year old boy with a horrible scar running across his face princess carrying a teenage at this moment rather effeminate blushing wood elf in his arms while being followed by a blond busty elven loli maid carrying a talking big black dick on a stick as we went down the dusty road.


    As we went along Jack started to talk about his powers and the Original Oldor who made him and lastly about my tattoo runes.


    It was quite interesting and very rambling after being entombed for a few millennia he seemed to want to talk so I let him. The main points were these the staff was made of adimantium an un-breakable metal and the stone was a soul shard a fraction of Odor¡¯s own being imbued with his knowledge and a personality all its own. The runes were engraved and then layered in dragon¡¯s blood but not a thousand year dragons blood like my runes, no they had to one up me by using the blood of a ten thousand year old dragon lord. The purpose of the runes was to allow the user to manipulate even greater quantities of magic safely which was why my magic power had increased tremendously.


    Oldor had spent much of his life discovering magic and teaching himself to use it by the time he had mastered it and returned from his hermitage he was too old and terrifyingly powerful to get a date he never got laid or had kids and became horribly depressed not wanting to spend an eternity of solitude he split the remainder of his soul into other objects he had made and then sealed them before he finally perished.


    It was a touching story with a very important moral. Even in a fantasy world if you learn magic and are still a virgin by thirty you will be a wizard for life.


    And finally he talked to me about my rune tattoos Oldor the original had done something similar but found it ineffective in the long run if one used a magical beast hide as armor it would interfere with my ability to draw magic to the runes. I could get around this by leaving my hands exposed and placing runes in series on my chest to run the magic through pulling the magic from the staff across my chest and into my other arm much like I already did, but by adding more runes I would increase the power that Jack could give me or at least let me handle safely otherwise I would deep fry all my innards.


    After returning home and getting Lindis healed and introducing jack to my parents they joked about how they thought I might be coming back again so they had already prepared dinner for us. It was really very depressing.


    The next morning as I headed out on my first adventure for the fourth time I reflected on our previous attempts and realized a pattern was emerging. First attempt I slayed a great magic beast. Second attempt I gained a sexy traveling companion. Third attempt I received a legendary weapon. It this kept up I would be a grown adult and possibly the ruler of the world by the time I made it to Elfhiem. Letting out the longest sigh of my life I set out once again.

 5. Sir. Ass Slayer

    The curse is broken I have finally made it to Elfhiem.


    Well time to go home. Why you ask would I go home when after numerous attempts? It is because Elfhiem is currently being ravaged by a hundred meter long fire breathing flying lizard. I might have come on to strong when I said I wanted adventure at every turn so to whatever god took me seriously hahahahaha thank you but please don¡¯t worry about it in the future.


    After seeing it in the distance as it circled the city spewing torrents of fire we quickly about faced and sprinted until we were a good ways away and taking cover discussed our plan of action.


    ¡°Well it was nice knowing you Lindis, I know you need to hurry on to your home and help defend against a dragon and all that but Sin and I should really head back now so have a nice life buddy.¡±


    ¡°What, wait uuhhmm I can¡¯t just let two children make such a long and dangerous journey back on your own.¡±


    This guy is a smooth talker he would make a great lawyer assuming that profession even exists in this world.


    ¡°You can¡¯t Lindis you are a knight you have to slay the dragon and rescue the princess!¡±


    I was somewhat surprised by Sins insistent and totally unreasonable demand.


    ¡°Technically I am only a cadet knight not a full-fledged knight and besides there is no princess in Elfhiem all royalty would live in the capital of Forest Haven not a trade city like Elfhiem.¡±


    ¡°no we have to go I don¡¯t want to go back to the village just to cook and do laundry, fine even if you two won¡¯t go I will I will just slay the dragon myself.¡±


    Both our jaws dropped at that was she insane? She had no weapon or fighting ability and she was only a ten year old girl. I could knock her out and carry her back but that would only make her hate me for ruining her great adventure and I may forever lose my chance at having my own gothic, loli, elven, busty, maid girlfriend. No that wasn¡¯t a chance I could take I would have to think of something. Looking at Jack who had remained uncharacteristically silent I had to ask.


    ¡°What do you think Jack do we have a shot?¡±


    ¡°Not a chance in any of  the seven hells of the underworld! That is at least a five thousand year old dragon it can use two different types of magic has a near impenetrable armor of scales it flies keeping it out of reach of the powerful attacks it can crush buildings and it can fucking spit fire.¡±


    While as far as I could see that was true I was interested in how he knew that.


    ¡°How do you know so much about them Jack is it a part of Odors¡¯ knowledge he gave you?¡±


    ¡°Yes and no, Oldor did have knowledge about the different abilities of dragons and how their ages affected that, but I can confirm it after seeing it for myself.¡±


    ¡°How can you see them if you don¡¯t have any eyes?¡±


    Aww my cute Sin as expected of you even your stupid questions are cute.


    ¡°Ow that I can see the magic and Ki that surrounds all things even those that try to hide their presence or are camouflaged in some way but my sight only extends about as far as yours.¡±


    Ok so it wasn¡¯t a stupid question, and what the hell was wrong with him not talking about that earlier. That was like a fucking cheat move being able to see through any ambush and though my own theory if you could see the flows of power you could probably even predict what magic they were about to use next. Jack was starting to remind me of a certain ninja clan I read about in a manga with their cheat like eye abilities.


    Grabbing jack I stood up and letting out a sigh I composed myself.


    "Sin I promised to keep you safe and I keep my promises so stay here with Lindis I will deal with the dragon myself.¡±


    The responses were mixed Lindis only nodded while looking incredibly relieved. Sin was bouncing up and down positively giddy with anticipation at the thought of watching me kick a dragon¡¯s ass. Well I hoped she was looking forward to me winning if she was just delighted to see someone get eaten by a dragon, that might strain our relationship a bit. Jack just kept shouting what a fool I was but I already knew that I even agreed with him but I was doing this for the oppai elf maid loli and I wasn¡¯t going to let a fucking dragon stand in the way of that.


    As I walked in the direction I lowered my voice as I talked to jack.


    ¡°Do we really not have a shot, I have fought plenty of stronger people before and the key to winning was always in hitting their weaknesses. Can I bust his balls or gouge his eyes or crush his throat or something surely it has a weakness somewhere?¡±


    ¡°Hmmm I don¡¯t think so, male dragons have retractable genitalia so it doesn¡¯t get in the way during flight and the eyes are protected by clear membranes that are harder than steel.


    Still he did seem to be thinking on what we could do, he had apparently given up on arguing with a fool and trying to get me to reconsider.


    ¡°If there was some sort of wound or opening you would be able to strike a fatal blow by simply discharging raw magical energy into it after all the only thing that protects magic beasts from magic and magic backlash is their hides and special magic processing organs if you hit anything else with magic energy it would be the same as doing it to a human and it would fry from the inside out. The city must be mounting some kind of defense or the dragon would have landed perhaps they have managed to pierce its scales we could gamble on that and try to attack there.¡±


    That was a sound plan but as we approached the dragon I couldn¡¯t see any wounds or marring on its scales. I did see the occasional fire ball or lightning bolt fired from the city but they were poorly aimed and most likely cast in a panic.


    I racked my brain for a plan of any kind. I could only think of one, a really stupid plan but it would have to do.


    Gathering magic in the staff I started running towards the dragon. Swing my staff behind me I started to sprint using my Ki to strengthen my legs while channeling the magic into my left hand I stared to close on the dragon.


    <<< Soldiers point of view>>>


    The few soldiers stationed atop the city wall could not help but stare at the laughable sight they saw here was a lone boy carrying a big black dick on a stick trying to run down a hundred meter long fire breathing dragon. When they kept watching though their amusement could not help but to fade as the boy with his stubby legs pumping for all they wore worth caught up to the flying dragon and after shouting a war cry he punched the ground causing a massive blast raising a dust cloud high into the sky and out of the cloud shot the boy the black rod gripped in both hands trailing red and black smoke like the contrail of a dick missile shot from hell and as he soared into the air he pierced the dragon¡­. Right in the ass.


    <<<Odors¡¯ point of view>>>


    There were still a few panicky soldiers atop the cities defensive wall that were drawing the dragon¡¯s attention and even if it had noticed the lone boy it would not have considered me a threat. As I closed in I timed my launch as well as I could watching the sway of the dragons tail and when I finally saw my chance I shouted my battle cry.


    If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.¡°Prepare thy anus dragon and take my massive black shaft!!!¡±


    It seemed as good a war cry as any. Pummeling the ground with my fist I launched myself high into the sky I held the staff in both hands over my head while screaming my head off and while I am not sure I think Jack was screaming to. I thought he yelled something like.


    ¡°What the hell did you just say, wait god oh no where are you sticking me I don¡¯t swing that way!¡±


    Swinging him that way I stabbed him deep into the dragon¡¯s asshole releasing all my pent up power. The dragon started writhing and squirming in the air before plunging headfirst for the ground howling in agony all the while. Slamming head first into the dirt the beasts long neck bent in on itself its body coming down on top of it there was a sickening snap as the vertebra in the dragons neck were reduced to powder by the force of the crash.


    All in all it went really well I thought killing a dragon in a single blow but do I get my heroes moment no there was no scene with me standing atop the dragons head holding a mighty holy sword above my head while looking gallant. What scene did I get well the magic power had destroyed the organs and muscles entirely while causing the remnants to spasm uncontrollably? Do you know what happens when a dying animal has muscle spasms? It shits itself¡­yeah and where was I; I was front and center for the splash zone of a dragon shit storm.  The whole thing left me with a bad taste in my mouth and no that wasn¡¯t a fucking metaphor. So that was me the Gallant shit knight; gathering magic in my arm I punched down into the pile of dragon shit blasting it all away from me. I then saw several dozen soldiers as well as Sin and Lindis standing around the dragon now covered in shit that I had just blasted their way. Yeah that probably wouldn¡¯t win me any brownie points. Trying to recover even apiece of my dignity I reached for Jackson and planting a foot upon the dragon¡¯s sphincter I pulled him free while raising him high above my head. It was a very pull the sword from the stone to be chosen as king kind of moment that lasted all of two seconds before Jack started cussing up a second shit storm and going on about how if I wanted to know what the inside of a dragons ass looked like I should just let one eat me or some such nonsense.


    Well even if I was a shitty hero I was still a dragon slayer and after introducing my companions they gave us an escort to the Allister family estate and by estate I mean a goddamned freaking castle. Where we were able to clean ourselves up, have a nice hot bath and we were given new clothes having been informed that our old ones had been incinerated with a magical hellfire and that even with the cloths gone the stink of dragon shit still filled the work yard. That was followed by a subtle warning that the workers might attempt to take revenge on us for having to put up with the stink and that I should watch my back.


    After that came a real surprise we were to present ourselves to the princess of southland and recently appointed ruler of Elfhiem.


    I thought you said there wouldn¡¯t be a princess Lindis?¡±


    Sins eyes had gone starry again it had always been a dream of hers to meet a real princess.


    ¡°There wasn¡¯t when I left it must have happened during my mission I was gone for about a month after all.¡±


    I was pretty excited to meet a princess myself after all I had never met a princess before. Plus slaying a dragon and meeting a princess it was any boys dream come true.


    We were led to the great hall which was lined on both sides by soldiers and at the end of the hall there was a very plush leather chair that I wouldn¡¯t quite call it a throne exactly but certainly a position on honor. On the throne sat¡­a Goth loli princess. Small in stature even smaller than Sin with black hair that fell in loose ringlets around her shoulders and on her head sat a tiny black top hat with a small glittering tiara wrapped around it. Her dress was all black lace with black thigh high stockings and knee high high heeled black boots.


    As we approached Lindis bowed and went down on one knee in a single smooth motion. I made an awkward bow while trying not to gawk but instead of going down on bended knee I elected to remain standing after all I was short enough¡­.


    Sin was bouncing up and down while waving and saying hello to everyone. Her greeting was certainly the least dignified and yet I saw several of the knights break their stony expressionless faces to smile at her.


    A single chestnut haired wood elf strode forward from the side of the lazy boy throne and introduced himself as Danil Allister, Lindis father and the current head of the Allister family.


    ¡°Young master Oldor I must thank you for the aid you rendered to Elfhiem this day with so many of our honor guards tasked with protecting the princess only a few soldiers and mages were sent to protect our beloved city your actions today have surely saved many of our dear citizens lives. That said I do not only thank you as a noble for defending my home city but also as a father for protecting my son and helping him to return to us safely.¡±


    After making a quick bow he stepped back allowing another official to step forward to detail my heroics as well as the current state of the city. After listening to my heroics the icy princess seemed uncomfortable her face would twitch whenever the dragon¡¯s ass was mentioned. When the report was finally over the princess nodded to a nearby knight summoning him to her side and taking his sword she called for me to step forward.


    ¡°Oldor in recognition of your valor in the face of danger and willingness to risk life and limb to protect Elfhiem I promote your social status to that of minor nobility of the thirtieth rank and grant you and your family the second name of Alfather.¡±


    There was a moment of applause before she raised her hand to call for silence.


    ¡°While your actions and motive have earned you a place in the nobility your remarkable combat prowess in singlehandedly slaying a dragon has earned you a knighthood.¡±


    ¡°Now kneel Oldor Alfather.¡±


    As I knelt before her she lowered the sword lightly touching my shoulder she loudly proclaimed.


    ¡°In accordance with your actions I grant you the title of Sir. Ass Slayer¡±


    Your shitting me as I quickly raised me head I saw her still wearing her same icy expression, but her eyes they were laughing.


    Stepping back she called an end to this audience and the three of us were promptly thrown out of the great hall.


    I dropped jack and fell to my hands and knees, this couldn¡¯t be right this adventuring thing sucked. I saved a damsel in distress or at least Sin but I got no reward and no passionate kiss. I obtained a legendary weapon that was mouthy and a massive prick. I slayed a dragon and got shat on for my trouble. I met a princess and she made fun of me calling me ¡°Sir. Ass Slayer¡± what kind of name is that.


    Lindis quietly helped me up and took me to a room with a massive bed that I hopped up on and instantly passed out. Surely tomorrow would be a better day right?

 6. puzzle pieces and puppet strings

    <<<Lindis point of view>>>


    It was late even the servants had gone to bed as I quietly entered fathers study.


    ¡°Good Lindis you have come, please sit we have much to discuss.¡±


    Taking a seat in one of the two wingback chairs by the fire I watched as father waved his hand over the mantle of the fireplace revealing a string of runes before he too sat in the seat opposite mine.


    ¡°You may speak freely Lindis the Listening wards have been activated whatever you say will stay between us.¡±


    ¡°Thank you father I have complied a written report of my unofficial actions in the north but I fear we have more pressing matters to speak of.¡±


    ¡°Indeed by all means continue Lindis.¡± Motioning me to speak, I organized my thoughts before replying.


    ¡°Then I will start with the magic beast that attacked me on my way to the north. First why was it there; on a major roadway with a constant flow of traffic and regular patrols? I overheard Sin and Oldors¡¯ conversation, Sin being ten years old mentioned she had never seen such a large magic beast before and while It is true that boar horse must have seemed quite large to a child it really wasn¡¯t. That tells me there are no real magic beast threats near their village and yet I was attacked and the only victim just as I happened to be passing though?¡±


    ¡°It is strange though it could be chalked up to a freak accident.¡±


    ¡°Please there is no way that you the most cautious man of any I have even known would believe it to be just as it seems at first glance.¡±


    My response elicited a soft chuckle form him.


    ¡°You know your old man well, I have already dispatched agents though I do wish you had used to dragons blood to inform me earlier.¡±


    ¡°Yes the dragons blood about that¡­ I wagered it in a gamble, and one that seems to have paid dividends.¡±


    ¡°The boy?¡±


    ¡°Yes father surely you have read the reports of him slaying the dragon, but it is not just that this boy there is more to him I sense it a depth of character and a resolve that should not be found in such a small child. Father you always said that fortune favors the prepared and luck favors the bold. That we must weigh the two against each other before making a choice that lesson was hammered into me since I was a small child. The Allister family has long leaned toward prepared and we have the fortune to show for it but in this matter I will be bold. If you are correct then had I used the dragons blood to contact you we may have discovered a clue about them, but by giving it to him we may have made ties to a weapon that can destroy them when they do reveal themselves.¡±


    ¡°You have so much faith in the boy that you would gamble our lives on him? I agree that he is powerful but his methods are crude and haphazard this is not a bet I would like to take with you if I could.¡±


    ¡°he is reckless to be sure but there is more to it than that when I first awoke after I had been attacked I assumed that they had taken me captive and I lashed out¡­that boy managed to dodge a killing blow and even though he was severely injured he simply shrugged it off before launching a counter attack that surely would have been fatal had a healer not been standing by. Then I watch him take a man apart and subdue an entire crowd of armed men. His control was masterful he used the element of surprise, coordinated attacks, displays of overwhelming power, and intimidation, to forcibly bring these enraged men to heel  with the minimal cost to him and his enemy. Then he finds the fucking staff of Oldor the father of magic like its nothing. That pillar had been there for millennia and even after it was made into a roadway hundreds of years ago with tens of thousands of people passing it by every year without even noticing. And this boy solved the puzzle in mere minutes the clarity, insight and reasoning he displayed were uncanny.¡±


    ¡°Huummm you may be right about the boy, very well but if he is to be our weapon and shield us from our enemies he must be stronger and we must be sure of our control over him.¡±


    ¡°Of course there is no use in a blade that does not cut and that you cannot wield thus I have already set plans in motion. While the princess may have granted him nobility sealing one of our strings to bind him to us as we can no longer adopt him but we have other strings to this puppet yet. The girl sin she seems to occupy a soft spot in the boys heart she can be used as leverage that was the whole point in bringing her along and even if the men I hired to transport her failed, to think her own mother would ask to let her come with us hahahahaha. Then there is the boy¡¯s family he wants to give back to them so we will help him out. We can give them and their village financial aid that should buy us some good will. Finally I shall play the part of his friend and confidant and from what I have seen he takes good care of his friends. As to sharpening are weapon I would like to enroll him in the knights academy while his fighting style is effective he knows only rudimentary Ki usage and magic abilities.¡±


    ¡°Hahahahahaha as expected of my son to have planned so far ahead very well then we shall go with our plan and put our faith in Sir. Ass slayer, May he slay all our enemies as he did the dragon and line our pockets with gold.¡±


    ¡°I would toast to that, now on the subject of the dragon what theory do you have there? A five thousand year old dragon does not appear for simply no reason.¡±


    ¡°The public statement is that miners to the west disturbed the dragons nest and caused it to go on a rampage. The current favored theory amongst the more intelligent is that what with the princess arriving only a day before the attack, was that someone was using the dragon to strike at the royal family.¡±


    ¡°And what is your theory father?¡±


    ¡°¡­¡­.I don¡¯t believe it was an attack directly targeting the princess you have already stated how she so quickly snipped one of our connections to the boy. I believe she was sent here to act as a watchman over us as she reports on our activities while subtly sabotaging any of our attempts to gain power. Her being a member of the royal family will also make it difficult to move against her¡­¡±


    ¡°I believe she is part of a third power and they simply used the dragon to strike her and us at the same time two beasts with one blow if you will.¡±


    ¡°Father the wards our active no one can hear us you can use their name.¡±


    ¡°No son I dare not that name has power and we cannot move against them yet but the day will soon come when we will. When that day comes May you be prepared and be bold my son and I pray that both fortune and luck are with you. Now go the morning comes already.¡±


    Rising from my seat I made to leave, my mind troubled sleep would be hard to find today.


    <<<Sins point of view>>>


    As I lay in bed staring at the ornately decorated ceiling I couldn¡¯t help but start kicking my feet in restlessness after all there would be so many fun things to do from now on so many puzzles to solve.


    As I think back on it Oldor was the one who taught me the greatest lesson and helped me find the greatest joy of my life. When he was just a baby we would play together and yet one day he suddenly spoke like a grown up and he was really scary but around everyone else he was just a normal baby.


    A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    People hide what they really are, for Oldor he hid his violent foul mouthed personality but what about others? I started asking lots of questions, I always made sure they were short easy to answer questions that people would answer out of reflex. When they answered out of reflex they weren¡¯t thinking and I usually got honest answers and while the answers they gave might not mean much when you put them together you could see how people worked you could find out lots of things. And when they got angry or irritated from the questions I would see yet another side of them.


    After a while I started hiding my inner self too if I acted clumsy by messing up the laundry or burning the food mom would stop whatever she was doing and come do my work for me while I went to play hehehehe that was the first time I learned to manipulate the secret person inside them to do what I wanted. After that I started practicing on the people in the general store and the old men in the tavern it was so much fun whenever I could get them to do what I wanted but it wasn¡¯t that I wanted them to by me candy or praise me for being cute it was the challenge that I loved. Every person was different and I was learning to twitch their strings, I eventually figured out that for each action I made different people would make different responses but eventually I figured them out I could even get Oldor to play with me. In a way he was my favorite puzzle because to some of my actions he would react just like the men at the tavern but for other things I did he would act like any of the other village children I never could figure that out.


    Eventually I ran out of people in the village I already understood everyone but Oldor so I started hanging around the inn so I could practice on travelers just to test myself. I was very good to after I heard about Oldor killing the magic beast so I convinced a group of traders to take me to see it. One of them even suggested that I go to Elfhiem with them afterward and he even gave me a pretty dress, I didn¡¯t really wanna leave but I figured I could always go to see the beast and then convince one or two of them I didn¡¯t want to go and they could stand up to the others even if they tried to make me go.


    Once I saw the beast it was really cool and as I watched them take it apart I was very fascinated I was so engrossed that I didn¡¯t notice Oldor approaching me. He seemed really surprised to see me and he clearly liked my dress so I started to tease him a bit I started to twirl and the hem of my dress rose higher and higher and as it went higher Oldors face went a deeper shade of red hahahahaha this was great he had never showed me this face before. So I decided to tell him I was going with these men to Elfhiem, he was so shocked I was elated two new reaction in as many minutes. What happened next with the men left me as the shocked one I knew Oldor was really violent even if he tried to hide it but I never thought he was that strong. I was the one who made him act that way, the thought that he would act like that for me¡­ my heart started to pound and my breath caught. What was this? This felt fantastic.


    Walking back to the village Oldor told me he was leaving for Elfhiem and that fantastic feeling went away instead I felt something like panic. No he couldn¡¯t leave me he was the one puzzle I couldn¡¯t solve, I started to think very hard I might be able to convince him to stay with me I knew he liked me maybe if I used my body he would be tempted to stay, mom always said that men really liked that.


    Wait why would I want him to stay even if he did I would still only have my one puzzle but if I could get him to take me not only could I stay with him but I would get a whole new city of people to puzzle out and play with.


    It worked but as soon as we left we had to come back after he found jack the magic staff but I didn¡¯t really mind because I got my hands on another interesting puzzle it was a talking stick! But Oldor kept calling him a dick and while I knew what that was I had never seen one before. It was really scary there was no way something like that could go in my body NO WAY!


    Then we finally made it to Elfhiem and Oldor immediately wanted to go back home because he was afraid of the dragon. In all honesty I was scared too but in my heart I couldn¡¯t imagine Oldor losing to anything so I decided to convince him to fight after all I had accidentally made him fight those men so I was sure if I tried I could urge him to fight the dragon to.


    Success he won but it wasn¡¯t like in the story books his way of winning was a lot grosser but he still killed it like I knew he could I was so proud. Then we got to meet the princess I think like oldor and jack she will be another interesting puzzle to solve.


    Aggghhh why can¡¯t it be morning already I really want to play.


    <<<Oldors point of view>>>


    After the audience with the princess I was exhausted and quickly fell asleep but after some time I awoke to jacks voice.


    ¡°Oldor, Oldor wake up we need to talk.¡±


    I threw my pillow at where he was propped up in the corner of the room.


    ¡°Shut up this has been a really shitty day; no don¡¯t say it that wasn¡¯t a joke. I really have to sleep I might have slain the dragon only to die of a massive headache thanks to that demented princess.¡±


    ¡°Look Oldor this is serious I have been giving this a lot of thought and I think you are in danger.¡±


    I sat up at that jack might be a dick but he had lots of life experience and there is typically a wisdom that comes with age.


    ¡°I keep thinking about the things that have happened since I met you and I have a very ominous feeling like we are about to be caught up in a shit storm that will make what that dragon did seem like a gentle spring rain.¡±


    I threw my other pillow at him for bringing up that memory that I would just as soon forget, but I was wide awake now and I had to admit this whole deal was giving me bad vibes too.


    ¡°When you found me your buddy Lindis said that all the magic beasts had been exterminated when the road was built right? That¡¯s how you got to me so easily but if that¡¯s true and there weren¡¯t any magic beasts then how did he get attacked by one just off that same main road?¡±


    I had never thought of that I just assumed that since this was a fantasy world that magic beasts would be really common. Come to think of it the only other large magic beast I had seen was the dragon that was attacking Lindis home; Lindis¡­was attacked and his home was also targeted.


    ¡°Look Oldor I have been around for a long time and this whole thing smells like some kind of power play or conspiracy that or you have the worst luck of anyone I have ever met; either way you aren¡¯t strong enough to survive normally I would tell you to go collect the rest of the equipment that the original Oldor sealed his soul into but I don¡¯t think they would be as easy to find as I was.¡±


    ¡°my suggestion is this if your buddy Lindis really is in trouble he will be looking for strong allies so get him to help with your training while I update my knowledge of this modern world then before the shit storm hits we grab Oldor the originals gear and you can decide whether to stand by your friend or bail but at least whatever you do you won¡¯t die.¡±


    I nodded at that then fell back onto my bed but this time sleep did not come so easily.

 7. use and be used

    By the time the next morning rolled around I had come up with a plan of action and at only the cost of a night¡¯s sleep it was nice to have some clarity of purpose. It was a three point plan; part one secure more dragon¡¯s blood that shouldn¡¯t be too hard after all there was a massive dead dragon outside. Part two get Lindis to help me train, I actually felt relieved knowing that he was using me. After all if you are being used that means you are being useful and useful beings are not betrayed, and there is a certain amount comfort in knowing if you have to slit his throat you don¡¯t have to feel guilty because the feeling was mutual. Part three I get that fucking demented princess to change my title I will even use force if necessary extremely excessive force hehehehe.


    As I got ready to go down to breakfast I ran into Lindis and Sin both looking bleary eyed and sleep deprived but Lindis wore an expression of determination and Sin one of enthusiasm that belied how tired they really were.


    ¡°Morning Ass Slayer¡±


    That damn cheeky Lindis first thing in the morning and already going at it.


    I brought Jack down in front of me with great force that left a resounding THUD sound echo throughout the castle.


    ¡°If you are so insistent on using that title I will give you a reason to call me that.¡±


    At that moment the sun flared more brightly through the window making Jack seem to glow.


    Lindis quickly snapped his legs together while making a forced chuckle.


    Sin came running up and wrapped me up in a massive hug.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t this exciting Oldor I can¡¯t wait to go explore the city and you can take me shopping and we can find lots of new puzzles to play with.¡±


    Ahhnnn this loving embrace this warmth this softness it makes me want to go on living. No; wait explore, take her shopping, go play that is totally a DATE. Only four years old and already going on a date, I won¡¯t have to become a wizard when I grow up. Ow great gods of the heavens ittsutakimasu I will savor her well hehehehe.


    Having met up we all went down to breakfast where I was given a note by one of the attendants from the princess


    "sorry I won¡¯t be able to meet with the great savor of the city today but I had prior engagements but I did have a reward prepared to thank you with as well as your monthly nobility allowance a grand total of five hundred and twenty gold."


    PS. if you complain about your title I will have it changed to Sir. Anal rapist. £¨¥ß£þ©`£þ¥ß£©


    Dat bitch there goes part three of my plan but its ok I can¡¯t have my mood ruined right now and the princess even gave me money for my date with Sin.


    ¡°Wait where was sin?¡±


    ¡°Ah while you were standing there reading the princess note with a creepy smile on your face she ran off in a huff.¡±


    NOOOO my beautiful Sin don¡¯t go if you leave me now I may very well end up a wizard for life.


    ¡°Actually Oldor I did want to talk to you Oldor in the few days I have known you how many times have you ended up fighting? Everyday wasn''t it anyway it seemed to me that you might wanna improve your combat abilities if you plan to continue that trend.¡±


    I nodded at that since it suited me fine it confirmed the suspicions jack had brought up and it would help me fulfill my own goals.Part two of my plan was already complete now just to get my hands on more dragons blood.


    There was no dragons blood¡­apparently my massive discharge of magical energy inside the dragon had destroyed all the organs bodily fluids and muscles making them all unusable. Instead I had to scour the city with Lindis in the end we only found two small bottles of the stuff and it cost me half of my reward money. It should be enough for now though I was also able to get some other supplies and a new set of clothes though I wanted to save money to take sin on a date later so I tried not to use too much of it.


    After that Lindis had a meeting with a teacher and I needed to enroll in the knight academy anyway so we headed there next. After introducing me to an instructor he took off it seemed his teacher was rather strict about punctuality.


    The instructors name was Darwin a red dwarf a stocky body with muscles that would make any body builder twinge with jealousy. He had me go through a series of exercises to test my Ki and magic in a number of different scenarios. I passed them all easily with the exception of one a six one fight against other instructors. While this might have seemed unfair six fully grown veteran fighting adults against a four year old boy but this four year old boy had the power to slay a dragon so they probably thought it was just a formality but it exposed a massive weakness on my part.


    My missing right eye severely limited my field of vision, in all my fights till this point it didn¡¯t matter it was hard to miss a hundred meter long dragon and against the boar horse there was only one enemy that I had to track. The one time I had multiple opponents they surrendered before it actually became a fight and after what the instructors put me through I am glad they did since I may have been the one who was saved from a beating.


    With so many opponents moving in and out of my field of vision I resorted to wild powerful blows hoping to bring them down in one hit with sheer luck but their polished movements made a fool of me and by the end of the exercise I had gotten the worst of it by far.


    After the exercise Darwin came to talk to me about some observations he had I told him the story of how I lost it but I still had hope since the Allister¡¯s were getting me the finest medical treatment available to which I was promptly told¡­to give up.


    Seems it is impossible to restore sight to the eye with current healing magic stopping bleeding and mending bone and muscle were one thing but they had no way to repair the nerve damage not that they even knew what nerves were. This was the first time I felt a real sense of loss since coming to this world I had been so busy with all the events of the past few days to focus on it and given that I had seen them use magic to do all kinds of things I had just assumed that this could be fixed to. I fell into a state of depression but Darwin was quick to encourage me it seemed the best I could do now would be to get a glass eye with runes engraved to restore my sight though for some reason it was always in black and white they hadn''t figured out how to make them see in color yet.


    After my talk with Darwin I had an idea that I discussed with jack that instead of using their runes that could only give me back partial sight we would use the same runes Jack used to allow him to see magic and Ki powers.


    In the end I was still accepted in the end and to the advanced knight course were I would focus almost exclusively on combat related skills instead of the usual courses in law and chivalry.


    With Lindis finally returning from his meeting we headed for the healer who only confirmed what Darwin had told me but he took the measurements for my glass eye and after that we headed back to the Allister estate.


    once there I immediately headed off to my room and got to work on my tattoos. It was a lot harder than I


    thought and I needed to use a small mirror to see the some of the areas I was working on. In the end I had enough ink for three tattoos the first was a cross on my chest opposite the shield and I inscribed it with healing runes I had learned from mother. The second was a second spiral of runes on my right arm that matched the runes on my left. I should mention that having the runes on a specific body part does not mean that they affect only that body part they cover the entire body but by adding another set to pull magic through I had effectively doubled the power of all my blows. Finally I got to work on my last tattoo a real masterpiece and fucking hard to make. After getting the idea from the dragon I had talked to jack about the mechanics of flight and decided it would be possible to make a pair of wing tattoos that I placed on my shoulders with runes for heat, cold, and air. the advantages of flight would be massive with my tiny legs I would be unable to keep up with an experienced adult adventurer and in all honesty when I chased the dragon down I only caught up because he was hovering  and to make my attack on the dragon I only barely made it with a full power blast if he had been just twenty meters higher I would have been completely screwed.


    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it


    I was so caught up in my work that I had never heard the call for dinner or the announcement that Sin had returned and when I finally noticed what time it was already dark out the perfect time to try out a midnight test flight hahahahaha. Having successfully snuck my way onto the roof I held jack before me as I pulled the great magic flows though him I felt the tattoos warm and I was surrounded in a black reddish mist that formed into a pair of wings¡­well sort of they almost seemed like two large monsters hands sprouting from my back colored midnight black but with streaks of fiery red light running through it.


    The wings did not move in the slightest as I started to rise off the ground. The theory was to create a hot air mass under the wings and a cool air mass over the top to generate my own thermal lift and then use the air runes for thrust and maneuverability.


    I admit the control was a little shaky at first but after the first half hour or so I had pretty well gotten the hang of it but after that it was a truly one of a kind experience it really isn¡¯t something that can be put into words. After rising a thousand feet into the night sky a stopped and just hovered feeling the cool night air caress my skin.


    In my past life my memories of my final moments were pretty distorted but I do remember that stinking hole. I hole not deep enough to stand up in and not wide enough to lay down in I could only squat awkwardly the hole was even covered with a heavy iron plate so that I could not see the sun or the moon and stars I could never feel the breeze blow against my skin.


    Instead I was locked in a hell hole forced to shit and piss myself causing infection and pneumonia from the unsanitary conditions as my whole body would shiver from the muscle spasms for staying in the same position for days on end the coughing would take the wind from my lungs and the constant diarrhea would sap my strength and the sores that formed on my skin would cause unbearable agony but in this one moment with the beauty of the night acting as a balm for my soul it did not matter. No perhaps these now five years I had spent in this world had been healing my soul.


    As I scanned the horizon I noticed something unusual a murky red haze and a great cloud of white smoke some ways distance a massive fire was raging. Tracing the path it would have to take to reach Elfhiem I reassured myself that the long road between the fire and city would act as a firebreak. A road connecting the fire to the city? That was a village burning!


    NOOO I know that road I walked it for three days that was MY village burning!


    Roaring in a rage I started throwing all the magic I could into my wings and as I did they doubled in size and the air started to whipped around me in a whirlwind but I paid it no heed as I streaked toward my village. The chill of the night wind whistling by might have frozen my body had my rage not burned like hell itself warming my body till I started to sweat.


    The scene I saw on my arrival was like something from I had not seen since my darkest days as a child soldier. It wasn¡¯t just buildings that burned but bodies to a massive pit had been dug and then filled with the bodies of the villagers the men the women the elderly and the children. I fell to my knees and my magic left me, my strength failed me, even my rage that had till now seemed to burn like hell fire when held before this blazing inferno it had utterly lost all of its heat.


    Without a sound tears rolled off my face.


    Fucking idiot; to be so lost in the wonder of a new world I had lost all sense of reality all sense of danger. I only saw this world as a nirvana for me to rest my tortured soul. I never believed that I could experience any pain in this world greater than what I had already gone through; I was wrong.


    The hellish rage I had held cooled but it had not gone out instead it frozen becoming colder, harder my heart had become steel.


    ¡°Those mother fuckers will pay Oldor they will I swear it; they will taste the massive shaft of Samuel L. Jackson.¡±


    A wiry smile cracked out on my stony face at that. Indeed they would they would taste that pain and much much worse.


    Gathering my magic if released my wings and soared back into the sky. Finding an open spot in the village I gathered all my power I dive bombed right into it. Before using jack I had created a crater fifty meters across with a single punch and now with the second set of runes amplifying my power and hitting it at speed from a thousand foot dive bomb made a significantly bigger hole and it achieved my goal of bringing all the bastards who had done this running to see what had caused such a ruckus.


    maybe a hundred men came running and to my surprise there were some familiar faces here like the nice misters that gave Sin the maid outfit and tried to kidnap her.


    the first man who reached the edge of the crater was also the strongest his well cared for armor covered in magic runes and the massive bastard sword screamed mercenary. since he was the first to reach me he was the first to die. using my wings i shot forward slicing my hand through his neck. not only did his head fly off but the was it was spinning with the blood draining from it made it look like some sort of macabre pinwheel that i caught in one hand before his body ever hit the ground.


    seeing their greatest combatant fall in a split second the rest of the men stopped in their tracks. hefting the severed head i hurled it at the nearest group of men. it hit with the force of a cannon ball sending the whole group flying back.


    I then reached over and took the beheaded soldiers massive  bastard sword in one hand and started to twirl jack in the other. i had not forgotten my earlier humiliation at the hands of a mere six opponents and here i had picked a fight with a hundred plus enemies.  wielding a weapon in each hand I split my magic power using it to harden my skin and to use the heat runes from my wings to create a cloak of fire around me. if they did not want to take the heat of my flames they would have to take me head on.


    When vastly outnumbered there is but one rule to remember; if you stop you die always keep moving always keep striking the moment they put you on the defensive they have already won.


    Those men never thought about attacking they only thought to flee the demon toddler bathed in the flames of hell and wielding a sword twice his size in his left hand and crushing enemies with the great staff he held in his right.


    They did not escape not one....

 8. Tartarus

    I always feel better after a massacre, is that what you thought I would say? Every time a battle ends it sucks donkey balls. As your adrenaline ebbs and you focus fades you find your body aching with innumerable pains and your heart starts to break. In the end the joy of victory burns away like the fog under in the midday sun and all you are left with is a burning sense of loss, loss of comrades, loss of family, even loss of self.


    As I turned to the three remaining survivors, what you thought I killed them all? You insult me this isn¡¯t my first time in battle, even when enraged I can think clearly enough to take appropriate action. All I said was that no one escaped; I did not say that they all died¡­ immediately.


    The rule of information gathering and interrogation is the rule of three. Take three prisoners and firmly secure them. Then you torture the first in front of the other two. You don¡¯t even need to ask any questions just do the cruelest evilest shit you can imagine after all he is merely an example for what will happen to the other two. If they give you information trying to make the pain end so be it, but do not stop not for a second not until they finally die. Then you separate the other two and torture them separately making sure not to kill them till you verify the information one gives you against what you learn from the other.


    This is a fantasy world of magic and I had tools at my disposal that I had never had before so I used that to my advantage.


    ¡°Have you ever deboned a fish before? Have you ever wondered what would happen to a human without bones? Let¡¯s find out.¡±


    Saying that I selected one of the three a burly man with clouded blue eyes and short red hair grabbing him by the shirt still dyed red in the villagers blood. I dragged him a few meters away from the others and positioned him where the others would have a good view of what I was about to do. I then set about removing the bones cutting, pulling the bones free, and then healing him.


    I actually wasn¡¯t sure if I could heal him. I actually got the idea from my wings, if the magic in my wings could flow though and then outside my body before activating why couldn¡¯t my other magic it would be a fascinating experiment. So channeling magic into the healing runes I forced the energy along my arm and out of my hand directly into his body.


    The work was quite tedious and since I was constantly healing him there was no danger of him bleeding out there wasn¡¯t any particular reason to stop for breaks to let him recover.


    ¡°You are a sick little bastard, you know that right like there is something wrong with your head.¡±


    ¡°Shut up Jack or would you rather I lived up to my name of Sir. Ass Slayer? I could always let you see how their assholes compare to a dragon.¡±


    ¡°Hahahahaha I don¡¯t think there is any need for that, I think you are doing a fantastic job on your own. Also I have no real desire to add implement of torture to my already extensive resume.¡±


    I was sure it must be an illusion of some sort but I could swear he was sweating. I had to pause for a moment though this world had resumes?


    Well whatever this man wasn¡¯t just going to debone himself, or could he maybe there was a magic for that? I quickly dismissed the thought, even if there was such a magic I didn¡¯t know how to use it so tedious though it may be I should do it myself.


    With no more interruptions besides the man¡¯s own strangled screams and his companions frequent vomiting I quietly went back to work in deboning the man. As I would remove a bone I would quickly clean it with a shirt I had taken from one of the dead men before lining it up next to him letting him watch as I rebuilt his own skeleton piece by piece right next to him.


    There are a total of two hundred and six bones in the human body but so far I had only removed up to his legs. With lots of work left to do I found myself lost in thought, what would be running through this man¡¯s mind as he saw his own skeleton being assembled right next to him? What would he think of the fact that his horrible torture that was being inflicted on him was being done by a little child?


    These men were surely the lowest dregs of scum that could be found. Yet surprisingly even men like them often had trouble harming children. perhaps he even had a family of his own, was he imagining what it would be like if his own son that was doing this to him? Could he be trying to deny that there could ever exist any child capable of such cold hearted cruelty? What if he thought I was demon possessed? This is a world with magic right surely there is some monster somewhere that could control a human body.


    Lost in the methodical nature of the work I failed to notice when he died. Shit; even though I had healed him so much, he must have just given up on living since there was no reason for his body to just shut down. Well whatever I had still accomplished my goal with him.


    Grabbing one on the two men by the hair I dragged him away and I tortured him. Then on to the other man finally rinse and repeat.


    In the end the enemy had some sort of failsafe magic to keep people from talking about whoever hired these men. They both said only one word ¡°Tartarus¡± immediately after speaking this one word their bodies burst into flames.


    Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.What the hell was Tartarus? Did he hire them, was it a place, an organization, or was it like spies taking a cyanide pill to kill themselves before they revealed any information?


    Walking back to where I had left jack leaned up against the charred stone of what had been the fireplace of Sins house. It was all that remained of it now.


    Goddamn it was that it? I had lost my family, my home, my friends, and I gained what in return from the people who took it from me; a single word.


    Telling Jack what little I had gained from the two men I had hoped maybe he would know something, anything that could help me take the revenge that my family deserved.


    The long silence that followed was not what I was hoping for.


    ¡°Oldor remember that shit storm I said was coming? Yeah it is a lot bigger that I ever thought it could be.¡±


    ¡°Oldor Tartarus is a man if he could be called that he is more of a monster than any magic beast ever could be. We should probably head back to the castle before I explain any further he was always a cautious one he surely has observers placed all around to report back to him with any information. Oldor as bad as it was before me being here might have just signed your death sentence. Tartarus won¡¯t stop till I and all the other relics of Oldor have been destroyed. ¡±


    ¡°I would fly slowly though you will need to think of how to tell Sin and the others about what happened.¡±


    Ow shit Sin¡­I had forgotten all about her. This was her village too her parents were probably in that mass grave too. Unlike me Sin was always very sociable she would often hang out around the adults in the stores and tavern as much as she would play with the other children. She had always been well liked and she would certainly take that particular loss harder than I would. She was after all only a ten year old girl and while I may have the body of a five year old I still had my memories of thirty-three years of pain and loss to harden my heart. Even then the icy fire of vengeance in my heart burned bright over the loss. At least Sin was safe¡­sin was safe only because she left the village; what if I hadn¡¯t let her come? Then her charred corpse would be buried in that mass grave along with the others. That realization made the cold flames in my heart drop a few degrees closer to absolute zero.


    ¡°Well you could always tell her one of your patented dick jokes Sir. Ass Slayer that would break the tension.¡±


    I think some small part of me realized that Jack was only trying to prod me out of my depressed silence. Too bad that small part of me didn¡¯t realize that until I had beaten him against the ground a couple of dozen times.


    I also had to wonder, this world had patents?


    ¡°I can¡¯t do that Jack how I interact with sin has to change I can¡¯t just be this foul mouthed perverted asshole anymore. Not to her¡­we are all each other  have left Jack.¡±


    ¡°Look Oldor I have been around for a long time so when I say that when you find somebody who can like you for the foul mouthed perverted asshole you are that¡¯s great. Don¡¯t try to change a thing that¡¯s not broken besides you too kids are cute together.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not cute Jack its fucking creepy as hell after all you aren¡¯t the only one who has been around for a long time.very well since you are sharing your story when we get back to the castle i will share mine¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help but sigh at  everything that has happened so far it  kept showing me that I wasn¡¯t a child, sure with my five year old body it¡¯s not like I would get a sexual reaction even with sin teasing me.


    That said I really did like her and I wanted to do those kinds of things with her as soon as I could. Yet I was a man not a child infatuated by love and  just curious about a girls body.  My recent actions clearly showed that; if you added my ages from both lives together I would be thirty-eight and I was falling for a ten year old girl.


    I had always had bad habits let¡¯s credit it to my fucked up life but I had never considered myself a pedophile. Looking at it objectively though that¡¯s exactly what I was.


    ¡°Look jack if this Tartarus guy is as bad as you say then we need to stay as far away from Sin as we can if he is fighting the Allister¡¯s then he is the one who sent the boar horse, and when I killed it he probably hired those guys to take Sin as a warning to me to stay out of his way. Then I killed his dragon and he had them slaughter a village to get back at me. Now if you were right about those observers and he does want you crushed into magical talking dick powder he won¡¯t be leaving us alone.¡±


    You know Oldor for a sick little bastard you can actually be quite thoughtful can¡¯t you.¡±


    Yes I could be quite thoughtful and I found it much easier to be thoughtful after slamming Jack into the ground another dozen times. I don¡¯t know if the dick on a stick could even feel pain but it was nice to think that he could.


    As I flew like lightning to the village last night it had felt like it took an eternity but now as I flew as slowly back towards the castle as I tried to compose my thoughts it seemed that time was flying by far too fast and I had arrived before I knew it.