《Toying with Demons》 Prologue - I Didnt Read The Manual I was at my home imaging a game with swords and magic, dragons and liches. One without artificial limits, or repetitive dialogue. A world so vast and immersive that you could spend your whole life exploring it, and still only know a small portion of the game. Then a moment of genius struck me. I moved to my computer and visited a site I¡¯d put in the back of my mind.
Contract a Demon for one Wish
The site¡¯s claims and strange history struck my interest awhile ago. The site first gained credence when a famous actor credited it with his fame. ¡°In exchange for becoming famous, I have to promote the website and a few other things. Make your dreams come true. I¡¯m living proof.¡± That¡¯s what witnesses claimed, yet no physical evidence of these claims existed. The page was composed of three sections labelled ¡°Script,¡± ¡°Guide,¡± and ¡°Implications.¡± ¡°Script¡± was an untranslated copy of the demon summoning ritual. Filled with grotesque imagery of demonic symbols, human sacrifices, and a picture of a crazy guy covered in blood. The images disturbed and intrigued me. They weren¡¯t realistic enough to scare me away, but detailed enough to give me nightmares. The ¡°Guide¡± section I made a point of printing out. It interpreted everything in the first section and cut out the jibber-jabber. A succinct no-nonsense guide to summoning a demon in eleven short and easy steps. ¡°Implications¡± was a crime against literature. One hundred and forty pages long¡ªit will bore you to tears. I¡¯d describe it as the world¡¯s dullest diary. ¡°When I was in Southern Mesopotamia, I was searching for artefacts from the Chalcolithic Age. I thought to myself¡ª¡ª¡± I stopped there and glossed through the rest. Pure text, no pictures, no lists, just one solid mass of text. I went to the comments section instead.
Comments NumbDefy: It really works, but be careful. Dolphy: If you try this out, you have a death wish. Corvin141: Don¡¯t¡­ Just no. You¡¯ll regret it for as long as you live. MasterOFGUYS: HAHAHAHA! I cn¡¯t belive ppl are taking this so srsly. Twiddler: ^ LEARN TO SPELL! Vocaloid: Directions unclear, dick caught in fan.
The comments section was swollen with people claiming success or fraud. Skeptics of the website wanted evidence if they were going to make such ridiculous claims. Others responded ¡°Try it or shut it.¡± A user by the name of Crebone pointed out ¡°Everyone who claimed to have formed a contract has perfect grammar.¡± Right away people dismissed the website. ¡°Clearly the comments are being forged.¡± A single person made fake claims using multiple accounts. After people claimed it was a hoax, the website owner made public everyone¡¯s IP Addresses. The website¡¯s host controlled the IP addresses not the website owner. A few people including myself did IP traces. The IPs didn¡¯t originate from one spot as the skeptics claimed. Once again the website gained an air of legitimacy. If the comments were real, then why were so many grammar nazis? The website stank, it defied logical explanation. That left open an explanation in the supernatural. That aside, I had no interest in the supernatural¡ªyet. So I made a point of bookmarking the website for later¡ªjust in case. The question was, what was I willing to bargain with a demon over? How about a virtual reality game. I realized it¡¯s a hefty goal, but what the hell, I¡¯d see what the demon wanted for it. The spell required me to draw symbols on the walls using paint laced with my own blood. I went to the hospital to get a clean needle, and a hardware store to buy a litre of paint. With the needle I extracted a pint of my blood and mix it with the paint. I had the step-by-step guide, symbols, and the paint needed for the ritual. As for the hundred and forty page diary¡­ ¡®Fuck it!¡¯ I didn¡¯t even think it would work anyways. The ritual needed somewhere isolated; I decided on an abandoned factory where the homeless slept. Entering the factory during the daytime the place was empty, so I made myself scarce in the administrator¡¯s room ~an hour later. After setting up for the ritual, I took a moment. ¡®I just decorated a room in a pint of my own blood, and my next step is to start chanting a spell in a foreign language.¡® Don¡¯t get me wrong here, I know damn well I¡¯m crazy. One look in the mirror told me that. "Ensenque ... Famitas ... Lon Foma ... Karima..." No clue what any of this means. I was sure the website had detailed translations buried in that mess somewhere. The commenters were only too happy to inform me of its presence. They weren¡¯t so helpful as to extract that information onto a readable medium though. There was one section of the demon summoning in English. The part where I invoke the name of the demon I needed to summon. I needed to imagine it chained to the ground shattering its restraints. ¡°I invoke the demon Asabarbus to stand before me. Grant me my wish to live in a VRMMORPG for my offerings.¡± Suddenly, the walls and the ground faded to black, except for my half-assed bloody art covering the room. Apparently the demon wasn¡¯t too picky. My stomach sank and I was frozen in place. The hair on my body stood on end. ¡°Can¡¯t breathe.¡± I gasped from the tension and was shaking¡ªI couldn¡¯t stop shaking. I blinked, and the demon was standing in front of me. The book said I could imagine whatever I wanted the demon¡¯s image to be. So I imagined a female Nya-cat. Nothing specific to any single anime¡ªjust the basic humanoid with ears, tail, paws. If any woman were to see it, they¡¯d give me one of those ¡°are you a cockroach¡± looks. She bore an uncanny resemblance to what I¡¯d imagined¡ªa nyan cat. Even wearing the same leather restraints and revealing clothes that I¡¯d imagined. The restraints were too tight to contain her ample figure, and they started snapping. Then she screamed ¡°Nyaaaaa!¡± It was a perfect recreation of what I¡¯d imagined. After the reenactment was complete, her eyes darted towards me and narrowed into daggers. Distracted, she started to lose balance and fall. ¡°This body-nya. Do humans think demons look like this¡± She was on her knees examining her own body. ¡°Who¡¯d wear shoes like this-nya.¡± She said while looking at her bust and high heels. ¡°What¡¯s with this ridiculous word I keep adding to my sentences-nya? I¡¯ve never heard of a human binding a demon with it¡¯s clothes before.¡± While this may sound funny in hindsight, I was scared out of my mind. Even if you give a demon a cute furry body with "nya" speech, it¡¯s still a demon. She stood up while dusting herself off and refocused her gaze on me. Her eyes radiated with anger, and her cute face twisted with rage. ¡°Hooo haaaa¡± She took slow but steady breaths. When she finished, she looked at me with a composed glare. ¡°So.... What¡¯s a VRMMORPG-nya?¡± She choked out. ¡®Why does she say nya? I finished the summoning, so my crazy depiction of her should be finished. Or maybe she also took on the characteristics that I imagine nyan-cats have as well.¡¯ She was glaring at me as I laid pinned to the floor from her presence. Her hands balled into fists as she started closing the distance between us¡ªmy heart pounded from the tension. Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website. When she was within arms length I tried backing away with every ounce of courage I could muster, but it wasn¡¯t enough. She grabbed me by my chin, picked me up, and then repeated herself. ¡°What is a VRMMORPG? ... Nya.¡± She leveled me against the ground, grabbing my left hand, laying it flat on the floor. Her heel dropped onto my extended palm crushing and partially impaling it. ¡°Ow! Fuckin¡¯ hell.¡± My bones were made crunching noises as she continued to dig her heels into my hand. ¡°Stop already, dammit.¡± I was desperate to lift her heel. ¡°It¡¯s¡­ It stands for Virtual Reality Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game. It¡¯s a type of video game.¡± Her presence was still there, but pain can focus your mind, so I could move again. ¡°A game? Don¡¯t you have these things in your world-nya?¡± ¡°Naht a virtual reality game.¡± I spoke while slurring my words. ¡°It¡¯sh too fahr in the future, I¡¯d be dead by the time they came out." ¡°So you want me to reincarnate you into a VRMMORPG-nya.¡± With that she removed her heel, and my hand started to swell from the broken bones. ¡°No, not inside, in a world with VRMMORPGs.¡± A happy smile flickered across her face as if her earlier snarling figure was an illusion. ¡°No. You will reincarnate inside of the VRMMORPG-nya. ¡± It was now an evil grin as she spoke with absolute glee. ¡°Wait wait, I thought you were going to grant the wish I chose, you can¡¯t just change it on me.¡° ¡°What did I change? Not a thing. Your verbal invocation said ¡®live in a VRMMORPG¡¯-nya.¡± She recited the terms of our contract confirming what she¡¯d said. ¡®Crap.¡¯ floated through my mind as I realized she intended to screw me. ¡°It¡¯s funny-nya. I only show up to try and find a loophole. ¡° She giggled while talking, then segwayed into a sly tone. ¡°Something that I can use to screw you over before giving you what you asked for, but you did it by yourself-nya. ¡° ¡°Okay I get it, but what do you want in return.¡± ¡°Oh well, let me see. You gave me quite a bit in return-nya. Oh wow, are you an idiot?¡± She¡¯d let go of any form of manners. ¡°Excuse me, but it¡¯s rude to call someone an idiot, and what do you mean I haven¡¯t given you anything yet?¡± ¡°Idiot! You¡¯ve already given me everything for your idiotic request-nya. The list covered everything, and you picked everything. So after I complete my end of the deal, I can do whatever I like with you-nya.¡± "Wait, wait, wait, wait, WAIT! I did not give you everything. The contract is refused so begone." The demon just stared at me with her big, round eyes that were smiling in delight. ¡°Nyahahah. You don¡¯t get it? You don¡¯t get to accept. The offering was in the Sumerian recitation you spent twenty minutes reciting. You accepted the moment I appeared. This is where I try to renegotiate your offer to be better for me. You''ve given me everything I could ask for-nya. It goes without saying that I accept the terms as offered.¡± So I tried to retract my offer. ¡°I do not accept, consider this agreement cancelled. be gone demon. klaatu barada nikto.¡± My logic was the same as when dealing with a police officer. I hoped she was lying. ¡°Don¡¯t worry too much, I have something special in mind for you. I will make sure to pay you back for giving me this ridiculous body before sending you on your way. After that I intend to make good use of you-nya.¡± She disappeared and the world went back to normal. I started tumbling around the room making an even bigger mess. I left the room to get changed into clean clothes I had set aside. My current ones were still covered in my own blood and excrement. Suddenly, I heard a familiar voice in my head. ¡°Nyahahaha! These clothes are perfect for what I have in mind. I¡¯m going to take control of your body, but you can watch from there-nya. Don¡¯t worry, I can play around with your body for a whole week before I have to grant your wish. It¡¯ll be a fun week-nya, I¡¯ll make sure of it.¡± I found that I had become an observer in my own body. I or my body pulled off my pants and walked outside into the street. It didn''t take me long to get arrested¡ªthank god¡ªor so I thought. I thought I could stay in jail. That way I could wait out the one-week time limit in jail. Then my parents showed up and paid my bail. After that, Asabarbus avoided policemen. For a reason I don¡¯t know, she didn''t harm anyone. She just went around humiliating me. Apparently, demons don¡¯t kill random people. It was the longest one-week of my life. Asabarbus said that I didn¡¯t need sleep. She made no concession to let me to have it. I slept when my body was at its limit and collapsed by itself. It''s finally the end of the week. We approached a homeless guy and scenarios started shooting through my mind. "I''ll pay you twenty bucks to tie and beat me up." "You sure? You don''t look so good." ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡± "Okay. But we got to go some place private. Don''t need no cops getting me in trouble." I wasn¡¯t shocked, he was homeless, what does he care. I paid him in advance and took off my coat. After going under a nearby bridge¡ªout of the public eye¡ªhe started laying into me. Most of the blows went to my stomach, the last place I wanted to get hit right now. I vomited up my lunch and I''m overjoyed. Even the sock she¡¯d made me eat came out. "Maybe dat''s enough now? You lookin'' awful." To my relief, I nod in agreement. "Can you put my coat over me?" That made me worry. ¡®Why is this plan so complicated¡¯ I wondered as my mind raced to put the pieces together. ''Asabarbus? What are you doing?'' I found that I could speak to him with my thoughts in this state. The homeless man nodded and put the jacket back on me. He''s surprisingly honest. I thought for sure he¡¯d rob me blind. We started walking through unfamiliar alleyways and we arrived at the cities skytrain. As we walked onto the platform, Asabarbus became chatty. ''Nya! Well it''s been a good week, but it''s time for me to grant you your wish. '' Although it''s called the skytrain, it''s just a train suspended in the air. ''Do it and get me out of this hell. '' She was obviously not going to show me any mercy for being polite. She had a week long time limit to grant me my wish, and she had used up every minute of it tormenting me. ''This doesn''t make any sense; getting hit by the skytrain should be a relatively painless death.'' We moved to the front of the crowd. I was in front of everyone save for one person now. ''I''m bored with torturing you. A good demon diversifies their mischief.'' ''So does that mean that someone else is the target here? Don''t tell me, are you gonna make me kill someone?'' ''Nyahaha! Killing people is so boring. Tell me, if I threw you in front of the train in your current state, what do you think the police would do?'' ''So you''re trying to frame someone for my murder?'' The train was coming. "Hey! Back of the line asshole. " Was called out from behind me. Well I did cut in front of a dozen people who were here first. Most of them were nice enough to ignore me. Just as the guys hand reached out to grab my shoulder, I did an odd forward wobble off the tracks. She timed my jump perfectly, and I landed right on the wheels of the oncoming train. The world turned black... Chapter 1 - Under Her Thumb ¡°Nyan!¡± A sound that¡¯s accompanied by pain¡ªsharp pain, in the form of a kick to the stomach. ¡°Nyan!¡± I curled into a ball as I wasn¡¯t ready to wake up yet. ¡°Nyan! Nyan! Nyan!¡± Several kicks that were much harder and faster remedied that though. I opened my eyes and the kicking stopped. ¡°Jonah, over here-nya. I¡¯ve been waiting for you to wake up.¡± I found a familiar catgirl standing over me. ¡°Time to wake up sleepyhead. Nyan¡± One more good kick to the stomach got me up. ¡®Waiting, huh?¡¯ I noticed that it wasn¡¯t just my stomach that was hurting, everything hurt. ¡°Did you kick me in the face?¡± I called out as I tried to stand. She threw her hands into the air, ¡°Nyahahaha! Jonah, I¡¯d never.¡± Frustrated, but not enough to challenge her, I stood up and examined my surroundings. The room was full of books. Beyond the corridor, even more shelves were bursting with literature¡ªbooks, maps, and scrolls. ¡®Guess I¡¯m in a library.¡¯ I tried to push myself up off the ground but my arms were stiff¡ªeverything throbbed. ¡°And nyat, concludes my end of the transaction." She finished with a happy nod. I started to panic from realization. ¡®she¡¯s trying to complete the contract.¡¯ So I blurted out an incoherent rant on the spot. ¡°Wait, how can you call this a VRMMORPG?¡± I raised my finger and pointed at her. ¡°My terms may suck, but where are the knights, the mages, the quests?" I rambled on for a minute with my chest out and my head held high while resisting the urge to smile. ¡®Even a demon couldn¡¯t send me to the future or to another world. Stick to my guns, and the contract should void itself. There¡¯s no way she completed her end of the contract.'' A logical mind, and a rampant denial of the evidence had taken hold of me. Asabarbus just grabbed a book off the wall and handed it to me. ¡°Nya...¡± With that one word, my body lost tension and my impassioned speech came to a grinding halt. She shoved an old book with cracked leather wrapped around the binding into my hands. ¡®The delicate binding could fall apart if I handle it too roughly.¡¯ When I examined the book, I couldn¡¯t make out a word of it. Confused, I looked to Asabarbus, and she shoved a pair of glasses onto my face. ¡°Try nyow.¡± I tried again and I could suddenly read it. ¡°The History of Senguard¡± I muttered the name. ¡®Country of Senguard or the world of Senguard?¡¯ Realization dawned on me. ''She completely ignored me and gave me an order.'' So I slammed my fist against a wall. ¡°Hey,¡± I tried yelling, ¡°you can¡¯t just¡ª¡± ¡°Nyan!¡± She flicked my head. ¡°Finish by tomorrow,¡± Her tone was dismissive, as if she didn¡¯t even listen to me, ¡°and I¡¯ll have more for you to read.¡± She started walking away, but she suddenly stopped ¡°And Jonah, try to keep it down. It¡¯s impolite to make noise in the library-nya.¡± I tried to talk back, but I froze. My jaw chattered and I couldn¡¯t move it. I reached out my hand, but it cramped up halfway. ¡®Am I afraid?¡¯ Her back shrinks, and I found myself clutching the book she¡¯d given me. The tension falls as we separated and the panic which was consuming me seconds ago became a vague illusion moments later. Light headed, I found a seat and stared out the window. The outside was pitch black, illuminated only by the sparse presence of torches along the walls. Not much to look at, but I didn¡¯t care. The book still grasped in my hand, I set it on the table in front of me, and took a moment to breath. Then I opened the book. After an hour of staring at the first page of the book, I sat back and tried to relax. Initially I took a seat to stop my shaking, but now I was overwhelmed by something else. ''I don¡¯t want to be here anymore.'' The surroundings, the smell, the people, and the language, I wasn¡¯t familiar with any of it. It was cold and alien to me. Soon, people started filing into the library as dawn¡¯s light broke the horizon. Old men with gray beards wearing ugly robes. A cute girl came and sat behind an enclosed desk where I assumed the librarian sat. She placed several large and heavy looking plates of something onto the desk. Several of the older men took one and then walked away. ¡®Suppose it¡¯s food.¡¯ She smiled as I grabbed one so I reciprocated the gesture. I took a bite, ¡®tastes like tar,¡¯ but I finished it anyways. ¡®I¡¯ve had worse. Who knows, it¡¯s probably nutritious.'' Not in the mood to ogle her I played with the pages of my book instead. As the sun went up, I took another look out the window and an enormous stone wall was obstructing my view. So I resigned myself to reading ¡°The History of Senguard.¡± Hours later, I took a look around the library, and found a set of stairs leading to higher levels. I climbed them until I found a set of guards blocking the way. Thus, the fifth floor was as high as I got.
~Far away in a certain village As I lay on the grass, I stare at the little house behind the trading post, just a few yards away from the river. The house that would¡¯ve been mine had circumstances been different. I told my wife it had a yard big enough to let us have that pet torf she¡¯d wanted. She could finally get away from the royal bickering that has haunted our family. We¡¯d live at the very edge of the country, not bothering anyone. Now this town once filled with children playing, has only whispers of the nearly departed flickering out as their calls for help echo upon the wind. ¡®Why has such a place become a town of nightmare and death? I really liked Brittleshire. What will my wife do when she finds out I¡¯m dead¡­ Oh Mina.¡¯ ¡°Arbiter Brosk,¡± a crackling voice slithers out my name as if to mock it, ¡°was this the answer to the question you sought?¡± My broken body slowly bleeds out. Charred stumps mark the end of my legs. ¡°Monster!¡± I cry out. ¡°H-how,¡± My voice turns to a stutter, ¡°how could you?¡± With what energy I have I yell out each word. ¡°The soldiers, the women, the children¡­¡± I spat at him. ¡°Everyone¡­ Huk.¡± With nothing left to say, I start weeping. ¡°Oh god!¡± My voice trickles out as I¡¯m forced to vomit. Gasping as vomit and blood fill my upturned head lying on the grass. I start coughing, straining myself over the effort, I turn my head to the side, letting the putrid buildup flow free. Light peeks out over the hills illuminating the lone-standing and uninjured man. His face covered under the hood of his cloak. Blood soaked bandages wrapped around his hands coil upwards around his muscular arms. Beneath the brown cloak, only the emblem of a blue dragon with ruby eyes is visible. A three foot pitch black blood stained sword remains stuck in the earth behind him shimmering a faint purple light. ¡°Sinner, these deaths are the price of your hubris. Isn¡¯t this what you wanted?¡± His voice reverberates over the foul wind. ¡°You opened the box arbiter, do you have anything to say before it closes.¡± His voice is like nails against a chalkboard. Glaring at the shadowy figure, I clutch the bronze ornament hanging off my necklace. ¡°Hear me god, I have done that¡ª¡± I cough profusely as blood and vomit rolls off my cheek. ¡°brought upon a plague. I cannot undo that which I¡¯ve wrought.¡± Each word is choked out. My tears and saliva have dried. My last words become a faint groan. ¡°I alone bear this sin. I accept your judgement¡ª¡± Final words spoken so softly that even the reaper would struggle as they turn into a deafening silence.
~One day later. ¡®Virtual reality is awesome; it¡¯s everything I''d hoped for.¡¯ I spawned in the city of Senguard, the capital of the Kingdom of Mahk. Outside my window, I had a view of the market district. Stone buildings filled out the main road leading out of Senguard. An enormous smokestack billowed out of one of the larger buildings. ¡®I bet it¡¯s a smithy. Every fantasy game needs a blacksmith.'' I thought excitedly, bouncing around in my seat. Rows of thatched houses stretched out beyond the horizon. I read that the city holds a population of a hundred thousand people. Inside the castle walls, there were small armies of cavalry and foot soldiers. People were assembling for quests everywhere. Looking in the sky, I saw a few players riding on giant bird monsters. I''d counted 10 different intelligent races in this town alone. Oh if you thought reading about it was torture, try having it right outside the window. Now try reading history books right in front of that window. ¡®I¡¯m living in a game trailer.¡¯ As I looked outside I couldn¡¯t help but complain. ¡®An entire world of medieval fantasy is right outside my window. I¡¯m here, but I can¡¯t play it.¡¯ I was almost ready to cry. After staring mournfully out the windows for an hour doing nothing, I moved to an isolated table far from the windows. We¡¯re definitely in a VRMMORPG game from what I could tell. I saw popup windows and items that disappeared into nowhere. So I was satisfied that Asabarbus had given me what I¡¯d asked for. That was terrifying. That meant that she had no more obligations to me. She could kill me right now and it¡¯d be okay because she¡¯d already given me what I¡¯d wanted. I never said, ¡°I wish to live out my natural lifespan in the game.¡± Did that revelation help keep me where Asabarbus wanted me? It contributed. As soon as I finished reading one book, Asabarbus returned and gave me another. Only this time it was a pile of books. She¡¯d left those next to me and walked away. I called out, ¡°Hey! What about food?¡± Her response, ¡°Nya!¡± She doesn¡¯t even slow down to respond properly. I dropped my head into my hands. ¡®Does that mean I¡¯m on my own? No, screw her. I¡¯ll run away.'' When I made it to the bottom floor, there were guards at the entrance to the library. Someone tried to leave and they were stopped. ¡®So I can¡¯t leave without the guards questioning me.¡¯ A cursory glance around the tower revealed no alternatives. The windows were all barred, so that was out of the question. I retreated back upstairs to my pile of reading material in resignation.
It was approaching midnight, and there were only a few people left in the library. ¡®I guess it¡¯s time.¡¯ I put my book down and stood up. My tummy was rumbling and it needed nourishment. ¡®I have to fend for myself.¡¯ I wanted to wait longer, but a status bar appeared at the top of my vision. It was blinking non-stop. ¡®I was lucky yesterday, free snacks aren¡¯t a daily occurrence here. I have to find food for today.¡¯ I considered my options and came up with three ideas. The third one was completely out of the question and I won¡¯t even repeat it unless I have to. So that left the first two. I could either leave the library to try and find food from the city or search for food in the library. While it may not be the most morally sound of choices, I have to steal my food. I¡¯m resolved to doing at least that much. I made a circuit of the library in hopes of finding a secret food stash. Perfect for dedicated readers who wanted to spend every night and day here. I didn¡¯t find anything so convenient. I found an angry dwarf sitting in front of a book with a danish on his plate. I stifle a giggle from where I was observing. Grumpy, long gray beard, three feet tall, bushy eyebrows were his features. ¡®The guy¡¯s a walking stereotype.¡¯ He started muttering to himself and I lost control. ¡°Pffft,¡± but my hand covers my mouth and I made a quick retreat. I pass him by because I couldn¡¯t steal right in front of him. My search did turn up a bath. I could tell because there was still a single old man steeping himself in it. Oddly enough, I hadn''t needed to go to the bathroom yet. I suppose that''s one feature everyone can do without in a game. There was a sink with running water. I made a point of helping myself. I gathered that they value cleanliness here. Good for me because I knew I wouldn¡¯t die of thirst after that. Relief ran through my body as I took in the sweet nectar. The man in the bath called out to me. I decided my best option was to smile and nod, as I walked away. I think he was trying to invite me in. Which would mean my gesture made no sense to him. Well, as long as he didn¡¯t call the guards, I was happy. A nonsensical gesture was better than no gesture. I sighed. I knew that I had to be desperate if I wanted to achieve my goal without upsetting Asabarbus. So it was time for option three, scouring the trash cans. I decided to search from the top and work my way down. ¡®I wish I could say this was a new low for me.¡¯ Memories of my week under the thumb of Asabarbus had already dulled any sense of disgust I had. I''d already eaten out of all forms of trash cans. In fact, she¡¯d insisted that I only eat out of the trash for that entire period. ¡®She intentionally picked out the most¡­ Don¡¯t think about it. Don¡¯t think about it¡­¡¯ ~1 hour later My satiety was restored, and I could return to work. Now that I was done my dirty little deed, I started heading back to my table. I passed through the area I found that grumpy old dwarf who was now sleeping¡ªdanish still untouched. I couldn¡¯t help but think that after all that, I deserved a proper dessert. ~1 minute later. I left the grumpy-old dwarf with his empty plate and returned to my reading spot. I took after my dwarven benefactor and dropped my head face first into my book. ~One month later. Asabarbus came every three days or so depending on how many books she¡¯d give me. She picked out new books to replace the ones I''d read, then leave. ¡®Odd how she can time it so well.¡¯ So how had I managed to spend a month in this library. wasn''t anyone suspicious that I didn''t speak a word of the language. Hadn''t anyone noticed that I¡¯d never left it once. Why didn''t they kick me out? The trick is to fake interest in your studies. Pretend that you don''t care about anyone around you no matter what they say. Don''t respond to anyone, don''t speak a single word, just read. Worked wonders. I was reading a¡ªtwenty pound hundred year old¡ªbook about labyrinths. ¡®I''d much rather do that than talk to pretty girls.¡¯ At least that¡¯s what I was going with for now. That¡¯s right. The cute brunette librarian from before had been trying to strike up a conversation with me since I¡¯d gotten here. I couldn¡¯t reply because I had no idea what she was saying. Leaning over my table, she had her eyes set on me. ¡°Namcha ¡­. Do heur sokan?¡± ¡®Please go away and let me cry in peace.¡¯ I did the only thing I could to distract myself from this torture. I knit my brow and buried my nose in my book. After ten minutes of shaking my shoulder, a couple of whacks to my head, and a lot of shouting, she left. As far as learning a foreign language just by immersing yourself in it, that¡¯s a load of bull. Although, I did learn one thing. I put my glasses on, and read a single word then I wrote it in my notes. I took my glasses off and copied the word again in this world¡¯s language. Copying translations from the books I read I was slowly building a dictionary¡ªof no value. The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation. It was of no value because it wasn¡¯t so easy figuring out a foreign language. You only need to stumble upon an example of a compound word or verb conjugation before you understand the problem. Once you realize a word in one language doesn¡¯t necessarily appear in the same spot in another language, you start to lose all hope. What I¡¯d taken to doing was creating an enormous list. Whenever I added the same word two or more times, that meant I had the right translation. Needless to say, it was a slow and difficult process. I set a goal of finding two words a day before I¡¯d give up and go back to reading my assigned books. After a couple weeks of doing that, I thought ''There has to be a better way.'' I sat back and started thinking. Then it hit me. I just needed a smaller sample size to work with. I had everything I needed all around me. Books! I had thousands and thousands of books; more specifically books with titles. Titles that only had a couple words each on their cover. Not just the titles either, books had quotes, parenthesis, chapter titles, headings, labels, etc. This sped up my efforts at making a dictionary by leaps and bounds. Within hours, I¡¯d filled several pages of my dictionary with confirmed translations. Of course, I hadn¡¯t memorized any of it. There was a bigger and much more fundamental problem that I had to deal with first. I didn¡¯t know the alphabet. I would start working on figuring that out, but I had other obligations to attend to. In my excitement I had completely forgotten about my other¡ªarguably more important¡ªtask. The one that Asabarbus gave me. You know, the demon girl who could kill me whenever she wanted. It went without saying that I needed to hide it from her. I stashed the evidence of my side project in the bookshelves. Then started reading Asabarbus'' books. I decided to stay up extra late. Now I could explain to Asabarbus in person that I wasn¡¯t finished reading the books yet. I¡¯m not so stupid as to pretend I¡¯d read the books, and have it come back to bite me at the eleventh hour. I doubted the punishment she¡¯d give me could be that bad. After four hours of waiting she showed up. ¡°Nya! You¡¯re awake?¡± She said quizzically. Her tail wagging, and her ears twitching while holding a small smirk on her face. I turned to look at her in my exhausted state. She was now wearing a full set of leather armor. A few pieces of metal protect her vitals, but the majority appeared to be light and easy to move in. ¡°I¡¯m behind on my reading. So I stayed up extra late to explain it to you, and try and catch up a little." I avoided eye contact, I just went back to reading the book. I hadn¡¯t lied to her yet, so there shouldn''t be any tells for her to see through. She moved closer. ¡°Nyaaaa...¡± She started looking over my shoulder a whisker away as she examined the books. ¡°So which ones have you finished?¡± I motioned to the pile of three books. ¡°Out of the five books I¡¯m half finished the fourth.¡± She took the three books and dropped them on a random shelf, picking out four more as replacements. ¡®I should make a point of putting them away where they belong.¡¯ All the books I''d read were dropped in similar spots. ¡®If this is how she¡¯s been cleaning up then I¡¯ll get in trouble if I don¡¯t do something soon.¡¯ I braced myself for what¡¯s next as she came back over with the new books. She plopped them on the table and turned around to leave. ¡°That¡¯s it?¡± Not sure why I said it, but it was too much for me to believe. She just stopped a few feet away from me with her back turned to me. "Nyahahaha. I already know that you¡¯ve been goofing off Jonah. Tell me, have you been wasting your time?¡± I was struck speechless. I just stared at her. ¡°Learning the language is something you¡¯ll have to do sooner or later-nya. You took matters into your own hands just like you did when you scavenged for food. That isn¡¯t a betrayal.¡± She left me with that reassuring information. I felt much better. My muscles lost tension, and my upper body started wobbling. I collapsed on my table. I was too exhausted to move. I fell into unconsciousness. The next day I found my notes on the language in front of me with a new addition on top. A pronunciation key for the alphabet. On the next page, is a detailed guide to the grammar. ¡®Did Asabarbus make this for me?'' I had trouble believing it, but what else could it be. I thought she was having fun watching me squirm. Below that I found one more scrap of paper. Written there was one short and concise sentence.
I¡¯ll be back in 5 days.
¡®So does that mean she was giving me two days to study the language?¡¯ The arrangement didn''t hurt her, but I was dishonest. ~1 week later I found an interesting bulletin board on the first floor of the library. It had information about the kingdom; namely the adventurers who completed notable services. I found out because the guards were making a racket downstairs adding new information. A guard went through every floor reciting something. Everyone abandoned heading downstairs to the first floor. I decided to follow to avoid standing out. We surrounded a bulletin board I¡¯d overlooked until now. The guards were shouting something out in front of the board. They motioned towards a single brown notice. I managed to make out the name Klavicus Shar. After the guards finished, people took turns looking at the poster, but most of them returned to work. I snuck a peek out of curiosity. Since it was a written document, I could actually learn something from it.
Let all be aware of the name Klavicus Shar. His deeds should precede him wherever he travels. On the second of Kru, 1583 seed of our world, Klavicus foiled a plot most sinister. Assassins dressed as guards had gained entry to the castle grounds through unknown means. These heinous villains set about trying to assassinate the Minister of War Heisten Flakseif. The minister thought his life over as a dagger flew at him from across the room. To the minister''s relief Klavicus Shar was there. Klavicus intercepted the dagger and promptly dispatched the assassins. The cowardly assassins were no match at all, stumbling around upon their initial failure. One assassin did escape. The assassin is hiding somewhere on castle grounds.
There were several other parchments on the board, but none displayed as prominently. Even the paper the notice was written on was flamboyant. A dark brown sheet of paper with blue ink, and an important looking blue-wax seal on the front. ¡°Blue Seal of Merit¡± ''Just great.'' Being the most suspicious person here, made me a prime suspect. Even if someone gave me an alibi, I was more than a little suspicious. ~2 days later. The librarian girl finally came around my table again. I wondered if she liked bookish people. This time she brought a book with her, and placed it in front of me. She said something I didn¡¯t understand, but I thought she was asking me to read. ¡®I¡¯m so happy.¡¯ I wondered if she saw me reading all these history books and thought to make a recommendation. I could push myself to read one extra book. ~1 week later. I tried reading the librarian girl¡¯s book every day that I finished early. Normally I would use that time to clear my head, but a cute girl asked me. I wanted it to be interesting, but it was the same type of history book that Asabarbus gave me. After I finished the book I put it at the end of the table so she knew I was done. When she came around, she left me another. She placed it beside me and started speaking, while offering me the book. I silently take the book. Placed it in front of me, faced her, smiled, and finally nodded. She smiled saying something, but I put up my hand to silence her, opened the book, and started reading again. ¡®Yea, I¡¯m horrible, I know¡­¡¯ ¡°Ow!¡± She hit me upside the head¡­ You may be wondering why I was doing this, but what were my options here? I didn¡¯t know the language. If someone found out I could get kicked out of the library at best or judged to be a spy and executed at worst. I was just hoping I could keep up appearances until I learned the language. The librarian girl left, but returns an hour later with an important looking redhead. She was definitely important because she wore a beautiful silky blue dress and had two guards following her. She didn¡¯t look happy. ¡®Oh no. She¡¯s coming over.¡¯ She started marching over here while glaring at me. The guards followed behind her as I started sweating and my heart started pounding against my chest. So I did what I always do when someone comes up to me; I completely ignored them and focused on reading. Saddled beside me with the librarian girl between us, she appeared to be very very angry with me. She started screaming, but the librarian girl jumped onto her back trying to hold her. ¡°Ogen Kana shefa mel rotan! Kana¡­¡± The noble girl said while trying to pry the librarian off. ¡®Could Kana be her name.¡¯ It stood out from the rest of the dialog. ¡®I wonder.¡¯ I started drawing conclusions. ''Kana was trying to talk to me every day this last week. Assuming she likes me, maybe she tried getting advice from her friend here. Since I haven¡¯t said a word to her since coming here, her friend must have reached her limit.¡¯ A wave of guilt overcame me as I finished my deductions. ¡®There isn¡¯t much I can do.'' I couldn¡¯t even pass her a note because my glasses only translated the text in the books to English. If I took them off I¡¯d be helpless to even read. When she finally got past her friend, she slammed her fist into the book I was reading. She grabbed my tunic with her free hand and pulled me towards her. Her glaring green eyes narrowed to pinholes and her lips were twisting hideously. I did the only thing I could¡­ I put up my hand motioning her to stop, which she did. She released me, stood back and Kana joined her. Then, with all the nerve I could muster. I continued reading my book and completely ignored them. That wasn''t the right answer. One broken nose later. Kana has returned to the back of the redheaded noble girl. With my nose broken and leaking large amounts of blood, I ripped my sleeve and stuffed it against my nose while I read. I should win an award for persistence. That upset them even more, several minutes later, I was in so much pain. On the plus side, they left. With the redhead and Kana gone, I could fully appreciate the seriousness of my situation. My life was in the hands of two girls that I knew nothing about. If they wanted to kill me, I doubt there would be anything stopping them. It was time I responded to Kana. I had time to memorize some of the language, but clearly that wasn¡¯t enough. I needed a creative alternative. The best I could manage was piecing together a sentence from the dictionary I¡¯d made, using the grammar rules and pronunciation key Asabarbus left me to study with. I made a short speech I could memorize and recite to Kana. The gist of it was ¡°I am sorry for being rude the other day, and thank you for the book. However, I have a lot of research to do. Maybe when I am finished we can have lunch together sometime? Next month maybe?¡± The idea was to buy me time to finish learning the language. If she says anything in reply, I nod, smile, but ultimately continue reading. Eventually, Kana walked past me giving me a slight glance. When I glanced back, she gave a troubled expression. I grabbed her hand as she passed by and she jumped a little; she had the most shocked expression I¡¯d ever seen on her face. So I figured it was now or never so I delivered my line to her. Her eyes widened as she took a step back. Her mouth left agape as she listened to what I said. She nodded so I sat back down at my table before she could respond and returned to reading my book. With a renewed spirit, I thought ¡®maybe this won¡¯t be so bad afterall.¡¯ I resolved myself to spend every waking moment from then on trying to learning the language. However, I was out of energy and fell asleep from the loss of tension. When I woke up, I found my head lying on a sofa cushion, and my book closed with a bookmark just in front of me. There was a letter on top which I can only assume is from Kana. Finally I thought, something from my potential love interest that I could read.
< Thank you for finding the time to speak with me, your presence here has been an exercise in frustration for me. Initially I found your inability to say even one word to me baffling. Even when I was only asking who you were as you just showed up out of nowhere. There are security concerns here you know, but you wouldn''t even spare me a look when I brought that up. I was tempted to fetch the guards. As the days went on I became more interested in what you were doing. I started cataloging the books you read out of curiosity. Strangely, you were reading histories that even I would find hard to read. As strange as you were, your only crime was reading. However, Letting you stay in the library day and night is a concern for us. We wanted to kick you out when you stopped reading. Then to everyone¡¯s surprise you never took even one step outside the library. Not even to get food. I instructed the guards to watch you at night and see where you went. They said that you started searching the library for something. To our dismay, you were searching for food from the trash cans like a vagrant. When I told Princess Linka about you, she was also curious. She gave you a task that you accepted, but when we asked the results of that task, you did what you always do. I¡¯ll be blunt, you infuriate me, but I will not fault a man for wanting to read. I am hoping that this meal you''ve offered me will bring about closure to the innumerable mysteries surrounding you. I hope that you can finally take the time to talk with me and explain yourself so that I can get on with my job and never have to speak with you again. Most of all, I hope to god that you don¡¯t make me eat from the garbage can which you''ve been scrounging food from every night. >