《Hollow Heart Journal》 Prologue + Chapter 1: A Life Not Worth Living Prologue Life... What is it?... Does everyone need it?... Do I need it?... Do I even have it?... If this is life I''d rather not have it.... Chapter 1: A life not worth living 2015 January 19 - 7.30 A.M - School. The school bell rings at the exact same time everyday. School start with the same morning greeting everyday. My life is just a repeat of the same thing everyday. "Good morning Hisako! What¡¯s with the gloomy face? Did something happen?" "Oh, it''s nothing, i was just thinking of something" "Well you gotta stop spacing out early in the morning, cheer up, the day is just starting" "Heheh, don¡¯t worry I was just thinking of small things, nothing serious" "Ah! Teacher''s here, gotta get back to my seat, we''ll talk later at lunch time Ok" "Ok" The day is just starting huh, i wish it would just end right away, today is nothing but a repeat of yesterday. 2015 January 19 - 12.00 P.M - School. The bell for lunch time, the same sound everyday, I eat lunch & just wait till lunch time is over. Sometimes people would ask me to eat ''lunch'' with them. "Heey, Hisa-chan, lets eat lunch together, i heard the new sandwich taste awesome" "Yeah, and I''m feeling sleepy, why don''t we get some coffee too" These two would sometimes ask me to eat ''lunch'' with them. "Umm, sorry, but I''m gonna eat lunch Tomomi" I know there''s no use disagreeing with them. "Are you saying you don''t want to eat lunch with us, aren''t we friends Hisa-chan!" "But I...." "You know the food''s not gonna taste good if you don''t eat with us" "Hey, Hisako is having lunch with me, so please dont disturb us" "You little..., you think you can talk to us like that and get away with it!" "And you are....?" "Why you little...." "Tomomi!" "Hisako, what''s wrong?" "I''m sorry but i''m going to have lunch with them" "Yeah, see, she wants to have lunch with us" "Oh...., hey Mr.Joe, these two are forcing Hisako to buy them lunch" "Wha...!! You little brat, you''re gonna regret this!" Tomomi is always looking after me, I still don''t know the reason why, maybe she''s just nice by default. "They finally left, you shouldn''t let them bully you like that" "But i can''t do anything about it" it was a lie, i just thought it would be easier if I let them. "You could at least tell the teacher about it" "No, it''ll just make more problem" "Hmm.... then at least talk to me about it" "It would just trouble you" "Its fine, I''m your best friend, so I''m fine with it" "Ok.... and... thanks for helping me earlier" "Thats the spirit" Best friend huh, we only meet each other at school, you don''t even know where I live or when I was born. I dont need anyone and I don''t want anyone to need me. 2015 January 19 - 03.30 P.M - School Gate. School finally ends, i don''t wanna stay here any longer, but i dont wanna go home, it''s just the same at home. The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings. "Yoooo, Hisa-chan, you still owe us some lunch" I knew these two weren''t gonna leave me alone after that. "Sorry, but i gotta get home quickly, my parents are waiting for me" another lie, my parents don''t even look at me. "GET BACK HERE!!!" "Ugh......!!!" "Seriously, she''s on her knees after one punch" "Come on, i didn''t even use a lot of power" "Lets just leave her, she looks so pathetic" "Yeah, I''m being nice today, so we''ll just leave it at that" I''m already used to this, this is just another repeat. 2015 January 19 - 06.00 P.M - Home? Home, can I call it home, home is a place where you can feel safe, then this is not home, it''s just a house where I live in. "I''m home" No answer as usual "Oi... Hiso, Haso, whatever your name, go make me some coffee" "....." "Oi... did you hear me" "Yes..." "Then go make me some damn coffee!" My dad is a drunk bastard who only talk to me when he needs something. My mom just stays in her room because of dad''s violent behaviour. "Here''s the coffee..." "What the hell is this trash! it taste like shit! Go and make me a new one!" "I''ll make a new one now" "Make it quick! Useless brat" I wish he would just die already. 2015 January 19 - 09.00 P.M - My Room My room... It is the only place i can be alone, this is the closest thing to be describe as ''home''. It''s small, only has a bed, a wardrobe and a table, but that''s more than what i need. This day is finally ending, and tomorrow i''ll do the same thing again and again. 2015 January 20 - 3.00 P.M - School Rooftop. Today... What did I do today? Is it just the same as yesterday? All of It got me thinking, do i have a purpose in life? Am i important? Is anyone gonna miss me if i disappear? I guess the answer to all of that is ''No''. Then it''s best if i just.... Disappear. "AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" "What happen!?" "Someone fell from the roof!" "Quick call an ambulance!" "Anyone know who she is? Try and contact her family!" "We don''t know who she is, check her wallet, there might be a student car or something" No one even knows who I am. I guess I''m not important to anyone. 2015 January 20 - 04.00 P.M - ????? Today... I died. To be continued... Character Information, Hisako Azami Hair: Black Colored Short Hair Eye Color: Blue Height: 142 Char Desc: Hisako is shy, soft hearted and timid, she is a pacifist, she always keeps a smile but is a crybaby. her only friend is Tomomi. She has been through hard times since childhood because of her dad, and all the bullying. Tomomi Yori Hair: Dark Blue Colored Long Hair Eye Color: Brown Height: 149 Char Desc Kind to everyone, she¡¯s the type of person who can easily make friends. she is Hisako best and only friend and she is caring over Hisako. Chapter 2: A Heartless Life Chapter 2: A Heartless Life 2015 January 26 - 07.30 A.M - School I went to school as usual, it''s just gonna be another repeat of before, but the''re are some things that change. As i sit in my seat, i can feel everyone''s eyes gazing on me, it looks as if they had seen a ghost, maybe they have, i would be surprised too if i saw someone who died last week came to school. "Um... good morning Hisako..." "Oh, good morning Tomomi" "Um... so... how are you today, are you feeling alright?" "Yeah, I''m fine, why did you ask?" "Well.... it''s just that last week you..." "The doctor was surprised too, he said ''it was a miracle i could survive that''" "Then you''re okay now, right?" "Yes. I''m back to normal" but my normal is not the same as others "Uh... class is starting i gotta get back to my seat, we''ll have lunch together again ok" "Ok" Today is still the same huh, i guess not much has change. 2015 January 26 - 12.00 P.M - School Lunch time, maybe I can have a quiet lunch with Tomomi, or maybe.... "Yooo, Hisa-chan" These two will come for me again. "good to see you back and healthy, so here''s the thing we''ve been having lunch alone all this time" "So we wondered if you want to have lunch with us, you know like old times" Normally i would just agree to them, but this time... "No" "Huh...! What do you mean No!" "Do I really need to explain the meaning of ''no'' to you?" "You little... You want us to mess you....." "Oi Kana, the teacher is here" "Tch... You got lucky this time, come on let''s go Hina!" Luck, i wouldn''t call this luck, there''s no such thing as luck, everything happens because someone wants it to happen, they force their will on us just for entertainment. "Hey Hisako, were they bullying you again?" "Don''t worry, i told them off" "Eh... you told them off? And they just go away like that" "A teacher was here, so they left" "Ahh, it''s good to see you finally standing up to them. But seriously what happen to you? You seem less gloomy" "Nothing much, someone just helped me relieve me from my pain and suffering" "Huh.... pain?... suffering?... erhm, what do you mean by that?" "Don''t think about it too much" you wouldn''t believe me even if i told you. 2015 January 26 - 03.00 P.M - School Gate. School is finally over, not much is different from before, but at least I was able to live through it. ¡°Oi! Hisako¡± Those two don¡¯t know when to quit, i wonder what will happen this time. ¡°What?¡± i answered them without hesitation. ¡°You really embarassed us back in class, we can''t just leave it like that¡± ¡°Yeah, if words got out that the useless girl in class stood up to us, it will ruin our reputation¡± ¡°So? whats your point?¡± ¡°WHY YOU¡­. YOU¡¯RE TRYING TO GET ON MY NERVES AREN¡¯T YOU!!¡± ¡°Kana, stop! not here¡± This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. ¡°Tch¡­ hey, Hisako, why don¡¯t you take a walk with us¡± I already know what will happen, but for some reason I wanted to see it myself, I wasn¡¯t scared like i used to be. ¡°Ugh¡­!!!¡± ¡°How¡¯d you like that huh¡± ¡°Hey Kana, can I have a turn¡± ¡°Be my guest¡± ¡°Ugh¡­!!!¡± As they were beating me up I didn¡¯t feel anything, this used to hurt a lot, but after that incident, everything is more bearable. ¡°So, did you learn your lesson yet?¡± ¡°No!¡± ¡°Huh, yo Kana looks like she¡¯s up for more¡± ¡°Then lets teach her some more¡± ¡°Ugh¡­!!!¡± ¡°How about now huh, we¡¯ll let you go if you just apologize¡± ¡°No!¡± ¡°HUH!!!¡± I don¡¯t know why but i just wanted to say No, they kept beating me up hoping i would break, but i just kept saying NO. ¡°DIE!!! DIE!!! DIE!!!¡± ¡°THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!¡± ¡°hehe.... Hahahahahahahaha¡± I couldn¡¯t hold myself from laughing. ¡°What so funny!?¡± ¡°Nothing, it¡¯s just that if you wanted me to die, you shouldn¡¯t hesitate on killing me¡± ¡°You little¡­ YOU WANT ME TO REALLY KILL YOU!!!¡± ¡°Go ahead, do it if you can. can you really kill me without hesitation? If you can then I beg you, please kill me!¡± ¡°You crazy bitch! i¡¯m gonna kill you for real and I¡¯m gonna make sure you stay dead this time¡± ¡°Then do it¡± I waited for their reaction, and as i thought they couldn¡¯t do it. ¡°you can¡¯t do it can you? even someone like you still have a heart¡± ¡°The hell are you talking about!¡± ¡°I have already lost my heart, and with that all my pain and suffering are gone¡± ¡°Hey, Kana, i think she¡¯s crazy, maybe she hit her head when she fell from the roof¡± ¡°Crazy?... No, i feel free from the world¡± ¡°The hell is wrong with¡­..¡± ¡°Kana! let¡¯s just leave her, this is not fun anymore¡± ¡°tch¡­ you little freak, don¡¯t come near us again, we don¡¯t need a useless crazy bitch like you¡± As they left, I thought to myself, maybe I¡¯ll be able to live my life now. 2015 January 26 - 06.30 P.M - Home ¡°I¡¯m home¡± ¡°Welcome home, I made dinner, it¡¯s on the table¡± ¡°Thanks mom¡± At home it¡¯s also different, my mom is now more caring than before, but she¡¯s not doing this out of love, I can see it in her face, she was afraid. Maybe she sees me as a ghost who came back to haunt her. ¡°Where¡¯s dad?¡± ¡°He¡¯s working late today¡± Or maybe he just doesn¡¯t want to be near me. ¡°Then I¡¯ll eat at my room¡± ¡°Make sure to bring the dish back down ok¡± ¡°Ok¡± 2015 January 26 - 09.00 P.M - My Room. Today was different from before, everything changed, it¡¯s much better like this. Not having a heart, not being able to feel anything, it¡¯s the best thing that have happen to me, and it¡¯s all because of that incident. Even if everything is fake, it''s much better than before. 2015 January 26 - 09.30 P.M - My Room. Today... I felt Alive. Chapter 2.5: A Heart Lost in Death Extra Chapter 2.5: A heart lost in Death 2015 January 22 - 02.00 A.M - ????? Where am I? Am I Dead? Is this heaven? or hell? It¡¯s cold. ¡°Yo, Are you awake¡± A female voice was calling me out. I tried to stand up but my body felt heavy. ¡°Ah, so you were awake¡± ¡°Uhm¡­ where am I?¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t you look around and tell me where you are?¡± I looked around me to find myself in a room full of bodies, all covered with white sheets, are those dead body? i thought to myself. ¡°Am I in the morgue?¡± ¡°Thats right, do know how you end up here?" "Uh... the last thing I remember was falling" "Good, I guess you remember. Anyway did you know that this is where you humans store dead bodies before you bury them¡­ or cremate them¡± ¡°Then...then why am I still alive?¡± The girl walks up to me and said ¡°I wonder why?¡± As she got closer, i could see her clearly. She was a young girl with long black hair but her skin was white, it''s like she doesn¡¯t have blood flowing inside her. ¡°Who are you?¡± ¡°Are you sure you want to know?... if yes, then let me introduce myself, I don¡¯t have a name, but my job is to take the souls of human who died, you humans called me the Reaper. As for why you¡¯re still alive, it¡¯s because I don¡¯t want you to die yet¡± ¡°Why? I don¡¯t want to live in this world anymore, please just take my soul!¡± ¡°No, no, it¡¯s kinda boring, you humans just give away your life as you please, my job is to take, not accept, so i¡¯m not gonna let you die. Yet¡± ¡°So you want to watch me suffer in this world huh!, you want me to feel more pain!¡± ¡°No, I understand that you don¡¯t want to live in this world because all you felt was pain and suffering, thats why i¡¯m offering to take away all of that, in exchange for you to keep on living¡± ¡°But why?¡± ¡°No reason, I just thought it would be interesting, oh and whatever you choose, i¡¯m still not taking your soul, so make the choice¡° ¡°And how are you gonna take away all my pain and suffering¡± ¡°Simple, I take away your heart, that way you won¡¯t have to feel anything¡± Without even thinking about it I answered ¡°Then do it!¡± ¡°Hoho, no hesitation huh! I like that, now just close your eye and empty your mind, this might hurt a bit¡± At that time it hurts so much, but then I just felt nothing. ¡°Come on I¡¯ll walk you home¡± She opened the door of the morgue and both of us made our way to my house. 2015 January 22 - 04.00 A.M - Front of my house. ¡°Ah we¡¯re finally here, how do you think your parents are gonna react if they see you¡± ¡°Don¡¯t know¡± ¡°Oh come on don¡¯t be so cold, are you heartless? hahahahahaha, sorry couldn¡¯t help myself¡± If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. ¡°...¡± ¡°No reaction huh, I guess that¡¯s what happen when you don¡¯t have a heart. Weeeell... see ya! and don¡¯t think about dying again, cuz i¡¯ll just bring you back over and over again¡± And just like that she disappeared. I ranged the doorbell of my house, i doubt someone will answer, but... ¡°Who the hell is ringing the freaking doorbell!, dammit, what the hell do you wa...¡± My dad froze after seeing me at the other end of the door. ¡°You.... why are you here, you¡¯re supposed to be dead¡± ¡°What¡¯s wrong dear?¡± I could hear my mom asking in the background. ¡°It¡¯s not possible, you were dead, you had no pulse, your body was cold like a corpse¡± ¡°Honey what''s wro¡­.., Hisako, b..b..but how?¡± ¡°She won¡¯t let me die, so i can''t die" ¡°She? Who are you talking about? And what do you mean you can''t die?¡± ¡°....¡± ¡°Anyway, it¡¯s cold outside, come on get in, I¡¯ll make you some warm drink, you don''t have to talk about it if you don''t want to¡± "Thank you" Some things have changed since I died, my parents changed. 2015 January 22 - 08.00 A.M - Home. I woke up in the morning and heard the phone ringing. My mom picked up the phone, it was a call from the hospital, i overheard their conversation. ¡®We are truly sorry for this¡¯ ¡°What happened?¡± ¡®Your daughter¡¯s body is missing from our morgue, when we checked this morning it was already gone, but there were no sign of forced break in, we are doing our best to investigate this, so please¡­..¡¯ ¡°There¡¯s no need to do that¡± ¡®Uh¡­ but your daughter¡­¡¯ ¡°Is alive and right here with me¡± ¡®But she was announced dead¡¯ ¡°She came to me this morning, she was still alive and well¡± ¡®But that¡¯s impossible, she had multiple shattered bone, some of her vital organ was destroyed, and her brain was...¡¯ ¡°That¡¯s enough!!! My daughter is alive, healthy, and she¡¯s with me now, don¡¯t make things more complicated than it is¡± ¡®But you should at least have her che...¡¯ My mom closed the phone forcefully, she had this uneasy look in her face. ¡°Uh¡­ Hisako, were you listening to that¡± I nodded my head ¡°I¡¯m sorry you had to hear that¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry mom, I¡¯m fine... " "Tha...that''s good to hear" "Hmm... mom" ¡°yes?¡± ¡°I¡¯m gonna start school again next week¡± ¡°Are you sure? Why don¡¯t you just rest for a while¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry mom, it¡¯s fine¡± ¡°If that¡¯s what you want, then... then I¡¯ll tell the school about it¡± ¡°Thanks¡± Maybe school will be different too. 2015 January 22 - 10.00 A.M - Home. Today... I lost my Heart. Chapter 3: Cold Blooded Chapter 3: Cold Blooded 2015 February 2 - 07.00 A.M - School. A week has passed since I started school again, and to be honest my life is better now. I was not bullied anymore, my scores got higher and I don''t have to deal with my dad at home. On the other hand my classmates has been calling me names, cold, emotionless, unsympathetic, sometimes they would ask me ''Don''t you have any heart?'' Of course I would just answer no, but they never took it literally, they thought I was just trying to get on their nerves. 2015 February 2 - 07.30 A.M - School. The school bell rings again, it sounds the same as always, but for some reason, now it''s different in some way. "Hisako! Good mor... eh, Hisako, are you feeling alright?" That same question again, why was she asking me that again? "Tomomi, You don''t have to worry about me all the time you know" "Yeah, but, you look pale" "Pale?" She walks up to me and grab my hand, I can feel the warmth of her hand, it was warmer than usual. "Eh! Your hand... your hand feels like it''s freezing, I think you should go to the nurse''s office" "No, don''t worry, I''m fine, I''m feeling healthy as usual" "Then how come you''re freezing? There''s no way you''re fine" "Stop worrying too much, i''m...." "Mr.Joe, Hisako is looking pale, I think she''s sick, I''m gonna take her to the nurse''s office" "Oh... okay, just be sure to come back quick after your done" "Ok, come on!" She grabbed my hand and dragged me to the nurse''s office, I have no choice but to let her do it. 2015 February 2 - 08.00 A.M - The nurse''s office. Tomomi opened the door to the nurse office, as we entered, I... felt warm, the sunlight shining through the window, it felt warmer than before. The nurse looked at us and asked us "What''s wrong?" "I think my friend here is not feeling well" "Oh my, I think you''re right, she looks pale, come, lay down on the bed here, let me do a quick check up" "I''m goin back to class, if you are sick, make sure you get some rest or go see a doctor ok" "All right, I''ll do that" "Then see ya later" The nurse performed a standard check up for sick student, I can feel her warm hand as she was diagnosing me. "Uhm, by any case, do you have anemia?" "No" "Hmm... do you have any kind of heart condition or a weak heart?" Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation. As I heard that question, I hesitated to answer. "No, but why do you ask?" "Well, it''s just that, when I diagnosed you, I couldn''t feel any heartbeat, I thought maybe you have a weak heart, it might be causing your blood to not circulate properly" "I don''t think I have any kind of heart condition, besides, I feel fine" "Oh..., but I you should go home early and go see a doctor just in case" "Then I''ll do that" "Should I call your parents to pick you up?" "No need, I can walk home myself" "Well, uhm... be careful then" 2015 February 2 - 10.00 A.M - On the way home. I told tomomi I was going home early and gonna see a doctor. On the way home I thought about what the nurse had said, ''I couldn''t feel any heartbeat'' I already know the reason behind that. The road, the sky, the sounds, all of it feels different, right now the world feels different from what it used to to be, I don''t know what it is, it''s just different somehow. 2015 February 2 - 11.00 A.M - Home. "I''m home" "Eh, why are you home early?" "The nurse said I might be sick, so she told me to go home early" "Then you should get some rest, I''ll bring you something to drink later" "Ok... hey mom" "Yes honey?" "Shouldn''t I go and see a doctor" "NO!" Just as my mom said that, her face turned to a worrying look. "I think you should just get some rest, I...I''m sure you''ll get better tomorrow" "Ok then" As I walked up the stairs I can see my mom scared face, she was afraid... afraid of what? 2015 February 2 - 12.00 A.M - My room. I lay down on my bed and started thinking about the events today. Why did my body turned pale and cold? Why now? Why was my mom scared of me seeing a doctor? Is it because she knows about what happened to me, or is it something else? She was hiding something. Everything is changing, nothing was the same anymore, the world feels different to me. Different... no... it wasn''t that it felt different. I just felt Nothing. The place where my heart should be. It is now hollow. I was becoming less and less human. Am I alive? 2015 February 2 - 01.00 P.M - My room. Today... I felt Empty. Extra Kazumi Ch 1: A Mothers Heart Extra Kazumi Ch 1: A Mother''s Heart Why? Why did this have to happen? It was my fault... I could have prevented this. I didn''t know... I just didn''t know she was suffering. And now she''s........ 2015 January 20 - 04.00 P.M - Home. I was the kind of person who just stay at my room all the time, maybe I''m a hikikomori, but it''s not that I don''t want to go out, it''s because I can''t, my husband keeps me in check at all time, if he finds out I got out of the house, he would punish me. He was a nice guy when I married him, but I guess he was just pretending, he only wanted my family heritage. After a while I got to scared to even go out of my room, I never even greet my daughter in the morning. I care about her, but my body kept holding back every time I tried to leave my room. That is, until I received a call. 2015 January 20 - 04.30 P.M - Home. The phone downstairs kept on ringing, no one else was in the house, normally I wouldn''t pick it up, but I don''t know why, it felt like this time it was something important. I got out of my room and picked up the phone. ''Hello, is this the Azami household?'' "Yes, and who might this be? ''I''m Mr.Joe a teacher at your daughter''s school'' "Ah, Mr.Joe, is there something wrong?" ''It''s your daughter, she...she'' "Eh, my daughter? What''s wrong? Did something happen to her?" ''She committed suicide'' "Suicide !?" ''Yes..uh... she jumped from the roof of the school, I am very sorry Mrs. Azami'' "She jumped? No, that can''t be true right? You''re joking right?" ''Uh Mrs. Azami...'' "Please! Please tell me that was just some kind of sick joke" ''Uh... I''m afraid it wasn''t... uhm hello... Mrs. Azami?'' Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon. At that time I just froze, I didn''t know what to do, i couldn''t think, my head was filled with only 1 thought, ''my daughter is dead''. 2015 January 20 - 04.50 P.M - Streets. I ran as fast as I could towards the school, I don''t know what difference it will make if I was there. While running I couldn''t stop thinking, why did she do that? She didn''t show any sign, no strange behaviour, or maybe I just didn''t notice it, I was always in my room, I never even spoke to her, I didn''t know she was suffering much more than me. Why didn''t I do anything? I could have prevented this. 2015 January 20 - 05.00 P.M - School grounds. Ambulance and police cars were surrounding the school, I ran towards the area filled with the crowds, and I saw it, I saw my daughter''s lifeless body. "NOOO! DON''T TAKE HER!" "Miss, stop, I''m sorry, but I can''t let you through" "Let me go! She''s my daughter! I won''t let you take her!" "Oi, wait, calm down, calm down" "Noo! Please, don''t take her away from me!" I burst into tears, having the thought of my daughter being taken away, not being able to see her again, it was a feeling worse that death. 2015 January 20 - 06.00 P.M - ????? Today... I lost my daughter. Hisako... please come back. Character Information, Kazumi Azami Hair: Black Colored Long Hair Eye Color: Blue Height: 167 Char Desc: Kazumi is the mother of Hisako, because of her husband''s violence, she always stays in her room, too scared to get out. Even though she doesn''t show it, she deeply cares about Hisako. This is the story from Kazumi, Hisako''s mother, prespective. there will be more released as an extra chapter (side story) between the main chapter''s Extra Kazumi Ch 2: A Mothers Love Extra Kazumi Ch 2: A Mother''s Love 2015 January 21 - 09.00 P.M - Home. My daughter is dead, they announced her dead on the spot, when the paramedics reached the school, it was already too late, she fell head first to the ground head first, so there was no chance for her to survive. After hearing that my heart was scarred, I was always holed up in my room, I never thought she was suffering more than me. "Oi, where''s my coffee? Since that useless girl is dead, you''re taking her position as my personal ¡®assistant¡¯, now go make me some coffee!" "If you want some coffee go make it yourself" "HUH, WHAT DID YOU SAY!" "N...nothing... I''ll make some coffee right away" "That"s what I like to hear" That''s right, he was one of the cause, the man I call my husband, he was one of the cause of her suicide. 2015 January 21 - 09.15 P.M - Home. I walked up to my room to give the coffee to him, but as i opened the door, he was already fast asleep on the bed, then I thought, maybe I should just kill him, right here & now, then at least one of the problem will disappear, but it was too late, Hisako is already dead, and nothing can bring her back to life. I was tired, I just wanted to sleep. I went to sleep on the floor, because the thought of sleeping on the same bed as him makes me sick. ''God please give her back to me, give me one more chance'' 2015 January 22 - 04.05 A.M - Front of my house. The sound of the doorbell ringing woke me up, ''who would be visiting us at 4 in the morning. "Hey, Kazu, go open the door!" "Heh! But I..." "GO AND OPEN THE DOOR!" "Y...yes" I walked to the door of my room, as I reached the door, my body froze, it was holding me back again, but this time it was different, the one that was ringing the doorbell felt familiar. I was too scared to find out, my body couldn''t move "Just go and open the damn door will ya!" "....." "God dammit you''re useless" He pushed me away and opened the door, he walked downstairs to open the door, I stayed in the room because I didn''t want to know who it was. "Who the hell is ringing the freaking doorbell!, dammit, what the hell do you wa..." "You.... why are you here, you¡¯re supposed to be dead" It was weird why would he be surprised, and what did he mean by ''you''re supposed to be dead''. "What¡¯s wrong dear?" I had to act like his wife, in case it was someone we know "It¡¯s not possible, you were dead, you had no pulse, your body was cold like a corpse¡± What does he mean by that, who''s dead, Hisako? I walked down to find out, then.... "Honey what''s wro¡­.., Hisako, b..b..but how?" "She won¡¯t let me die, so i can''t die" "She? Who are you talking about? And what do you mean you can''t die?" "....." I don''t know what she meant by that, but I didn''t care, and for some reason she looked like she couldn''t tell me about it. "Anyway, it¡¯s cold outside, come on, get in, I¡¯ll make you some warm drink, you don''t have to talk about it if you don''t want to" Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel. "Thank you" After I gave her something to drink she took a shower and went to sleep. 2015 January 22 - 05.00 A.M - Home. I had to make sure Hisako doesn''t suffer again. "What the hell are you doing? Why''d you let her in?" I need to make sure he doesn''t do anything to her again. "Oi, are you listening to me?" "Hey honey, I''ve been thinking, maybe from now on you should stay in your friend''s house or a hotel" "Wha... are you kicking me out!?" "I have proof of your violence towards us, I can report it to the police if you don''t do what i say!" "Uh... THE HELL WITH THAT! I''M GONNA KILL YOU BITCH!" before he could get close to me, i pulled out a knife I took earlier from the kitchen, I pointed it at him and threatened him "If the police can''t help me, then I''ll take care of it myself" And just like that he was shivering, he only said ok and then left. 2015 January 22 - 08.00 A.M - Home. While I was making breakfast for Hisako, the phone rang, I picked it up, it was a call from the hospital. ¡®We are truly sorry for this¡¯ ¡°What happened?¡± ¡®Your daughter¡¯s body is missing from our morgue, when we checked this morning it was already gone, but there were no sign of forced break in, we are doing our best to investigate this, so please¡­..¡¯ Hearing that, I knew something happened to my daughter, she was different, something changed her, but I didn''t care what it was, I was just happy she was back with me. ¡°There¡¯s no need to do that¡± ¡®Uh¡­ but your daughter¡­¡¯ ¡°Is alive and right here with me¡± ¡®But she was announced dead¡¯ ¡°She came to me this morning, she was still alive and well¡± ¡®But that¡¯s impossible, she had multiple shattered bone, some of her vital organ was destroyed, and her brain was...¡¯ ¡°That¡¯s enough!!! My daughter is alive, healthy, and she¡¯s with me now, don¡¯t make things more complicated than it is¡± ¡®But you should at least have her che...¡¯ I closed the phone. I''m not going to let them take her away from me again. I looked to my right, and hisako was there, did she heard that? ¡°Uh¡­ Hisako, were you listening to that?¡± She nodded her head ¡°I¡¯m sorry you had to hear that¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry mom, I¡¯m fine... " "Tha...that''s good to hear" "Hmm... mom" ¡°yes?¡± ¡°I¡¯m gonna start school again next week¡± I was surprised when I heard that, one of her friend told me she was being bullies at school, why would she want to go to school again. ¡°Are you sure? Why don¡¯t you just rest for a while¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry mom, it¡¯s fine¡± ¡°If that¡¯s what you want, then... then I¡¯ll tell the school about it¡± ¡°Thanks¡± I had no choice but to let her. I''m just happy she''s back with me. happy? Was i happy, or did I just see her as a way to atone for my sins. 2015 January 22 - 09.00 A.M - Home. Today... For the first time... (did) I showed love to Hisako (?) Chapter 4: A Pulse Chapter 4: A Pulse 2015 February 9 - 07.00 A.M - School. I have been living a normal life since that incident, can you call this normal? I guess i''m already used to it. I told everyone that the doctor said I have rare heart condition, it makes my heart beat subtle so you can''t feel it, and it also caused my blood to turn cold, it was a rare condition, and it''s genetic, it was passed down from my grandparents. My mom made up the lie, I don''t know she tries so hard to keep me a secret from the doctor, but I didn''t think too much about it, I guess now I can really call my house as Home. 2015 February 9 - 07.30 A.M - School. "Goood morning Hisako!" "Oh, good morning Tomomi" "Were you thinking about something again?" "Yeah, why''d you ask?" "No reason, you just looked happier than usual" I looked happier? Heh, she''s just seeing things, how do I look happy when I can''t even feel anything. Or was I realy happy? "Happier?" "Yeah, I don''t know what happen to you last week, but you just seem to be smiling more... well at least a little bit more" "Was I smiling?" "Huh? You mean you didn''t even realised it yourself?" "Well no, it''s just that.... no nevermind" "Well it doesn''t matter does it? As long as you''re happy, I''m happy" "Uhm Tomomi" "Huh?" "Thanks" "Well that''s what friends are, we support each other" 2015 February 9 - 12.00 P.M - School. Every lunchtime I would eat lunch with Tomomi, but after a while a few people have joined us, why? Before, the said I was cold, emotionless, unsympathetic, but now they somehow become my friends. "Ah Tomomi, can I borrow your math textbook?" "Why do you need my textbook?" "Weeeell, I forgot to do my homework, so I wanna copy yours" "Uhm, ok just don''t copy exactly what I wrote, the teacher will find out" "Roger!" "Yuna, Why do you always forget to do your homework?" "Hehe, its because i''m lazy!" "I can''t believe you just answer that with confidence, and Tomomi aren''t you annoyed that she keeps borrowing your homework" "Well I don''t mind it" "Yeah, but if she doesn''t do her own homework she wouldn''t learn, and even worse, she''s going to get used to you always letting her copy your homework, and then later it''s not just gonna be math, at every subject, english, history, physics, she''s gonna copy each and every one of them" "Eh! Seriously!!!" "Yes!" "I''m sorry Yuna, but from now on you will have to do your own homework" "Wait what! Yuki! Why did you have to say that" "Trust me, it''s for your own good" "Nooooo! I''m gonna die!" "Calm down, it''s just homework" "But... but..." "Ugh, ok, I''ll let you copy mine, but this is the last time" "Yay!!!" They always converse with each other like this, I would just listen, but now, I was curious, what made them had a change of heart. "Uhm, can I ask you two something?" "What is it?" "Why did you two become my friend? You used to hate me because I was cold and unsympathetic" "Well, we used to" "But Tomo told us it''s because you were always being bullied by Kana & Hana" "But after seeing you with Tomomi, you seem like a nice person, we just misunderstood you" "Yeah, we''re sorry about that, why did you suddenly asked us?" "Nothing, no reason" Nice? Do I look like a nice person? I rarely interact with anyone, did I do something? Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon. 2015 February 9 - 03.00 P.M - School, Front of Classroom. "Uwaaahhhh, it''s finally over, I thought class will never end. Hey, Tomomi!" "Huh?" "I''ve been wondering, I''ve never been to your house before, so can I come over to..." "No" "Huh? Sorry I just thought that, maybe we could hang out together, but if it bothers you, then I understand" "No, it''s just that, I have to tell my mom about it first" "Then maybe sometime I could come over then?" "Sure" "Well then, see you later" I couldn''t let her come to my house, my mom was hiding something, and until I know what it is my house is not completely safe. But why do I care so much? 2015 February 9 - 04.00 P.M - Outside of My House. As I reached my house, i saw a car in front of my house, is it dad''s car? I walked to the window of my house to see if dad was home, in there i could see my mom & dad, they''re arguing about something, I opened the door and entered silently, I hid behind the wall next to the room my mom & dad was in, I could hear their argument. "So you think you can keep me away from my house!" "Get out, I want you to stay as far as possible from Hisako" "So it''s because of that little bitch huh? Then why don''t I ''pick'' her up from school" "NO! YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!" "What the! GET OF ME!!!" "Ugh!!!" "Ungrateful bitch, I''M GONNA KILL YOU!!!" "No.... stop...." Seeing the sight of my mom being choked, it felt strange, it hurts. I ran towards my dad, grabbed the chair near me and smacked his head with it, he fell down to his knees. "You... little..." I kept smacking him, I don''t know why but it felt good. "Hisako! stop! Don''t kill him" I stopped as soon as he fell unconscious, I looked at my mom, she was terrified, didn''t know what to do, I ran up to my room. 2015 February 9 - 06.00 P.M - Home The police came over to my house and arrested my dad, my mom had called them. She told them the whole story, and she showed them proof of my dad''s domestic violence over the year, and because of that I was left off the hook. 2015 February 9 - 09.00 P.M - My Room. What happen? Why did I do that? Was it anger? Did I got angry when my father was hurting mom? And when i was beating him up, why did it felt good? it wasn''t just that, Tomomi also said i was smiling, and her friends said I was nice. It was to much for me to think of, and I was tired, so I went straight to sleep. 2015 February 9 - 09.30 P.M - My Room. Today... I felt a Pulse. ?????????????? - ???????? - ??????? Huh? Where am I? Is this a dream? "That''s right" Who''s there? "Don''t you remember me? And you should just talk normally, stop thinking out loud" "how are you able to get into my dream?" "Being a reaper, I have many powers, and getting into people''s dream is one of them" "Is mind reading one them too?" "No, but i''m in your dream, and this is your mind" "....." "So how is your life, anything interesting to report?" "It was fine, nothing really interesting happened" "Really? So why did police ''visit'' your house?" "....." "Not telling huh? I''ll find out sooner or later, well then see ''ya later" I didn''t want to tell her about it, I don''t know why, but she was bad news. Chapter 5: A New Heart Chapter 5: A New Heart 2015 February 11 - 08.00 P.M - Home. After the incident with my father, my mom & the school insisted that I take a few days off, I wasn''t bothered by it very much, but my mom was. She forbids me from going to school and wanted me to just stay at home and rest until things cooled down. "Hisako! Are you awake? Breakfast is ready" "Ok, I''m coming down" I had breakfast as usual, my mom looked happier since dad is gone, I guess that''s understandable. 2015 February 11 - 08.30 P.M - Home. I had nothing to do at home, I wanted to go out, but what am I gonna do outside? But either way it''s still better than being holed up in my house all day. "Mom, I''m going out for a while" "Eh, where are you going?" "I''m just gonna take a walk" "Do you want me to go with you?" "No, don''t worry, I''m just gonna take a walk in the park" "Then be careful, and be back before lunch ok?" "Ok" 2015 February 11 - 09.00 P.M - The Park. I went to the park and just sat in of the swing. I did nothing other than just staring at the sky. I have nothing to do at home, outside, & at school, is this living? Am I living my life, all this time I''m just following the flow of this world, I have no freedom in my life. "Uhm... excuse me" A boy with grey hair walks up to me, he was wearing the uniform of my school. "Uhm... do you know where Yokosuka school is?" "Just walk straight follow this street, turn left on the second turn" "Ok, thank you very much...... uhm... what does the school look like?" He was going to the same school as I am, but he doesn''t even know what the school look like, is he a transfer student? "come on" "huh... wait, where are we going?" "I''ll take you to the school" "Is it ok, I don''t want to trouble you" "I''m not bothered by it, I wasn''t doing anything anyway" "Thank you, I''ll repay you somehow" "....." I didn''t take him to school to help him, I just wanted to go to the school. 2015 February 11 - 09.15 P.M - The Streets. I walked with him to school, the boy was smiling the whole time, he probably has a good family & a good life, the type of person who has never seen the dark side of life. "Hey, can I ask you something?" "What is it?" "How old are you?" "Huh?" "Ahh! Sorry for asking something personal! I was just a little curious. Oh yeah, I forgot to introduce myself, my name is Hikaru, oh and just forget about the question" Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings. "Hisako" "Huh?" "My name is Hisako, I''m 17" "Ah, you''re the same age as I am" His smile was bigger than before right after i answered. "Hisako, do you go to school?" "Yes" "So why were you at the park?" "I''m currently taking the day off" "Oh, what school do you go to?" "..." I didn''t want to tell him because we go to the same school. "Sorry, I was asking some personal information, I''m not thinking about doing anything, I''m just curious. I''m not bothering you right?" "No, I''m not bothered" "Heheh, I thought I was bothering you, sorry if I''m very talkative" 2015 February 11 - 09.30 P.M - School Gates. "Were here" "Ah, so this is the school, it''s huge, oh and thank you again for taking me here" "But looks like the gate is already closed, how are you gonna get i...." I looked to him and he was already climbing the gate. "I''m gonna climb it of course, I''m already used to this kind of... WHOOAAH! Ow that hurts" "Heheh" "AHH!" "huh?" "You smiled!" "Eh, what are you talking about?" "Your were sitting alone in the park, I thought you were depressed or something, so I was trying to cheer you up, but nothing was working, and just as I was about to give up you laughed a little, and now my quest is finished, the reward was a beautiful smile" He ran into the school after saying that, but was was that all about, why am I feeling warm. 2015 February 11 - 10.10 P.M - Home. "I''m back" "Ah welcome home Hisako, anything happened?" "Nothing much" "Oh, then I was worried for nothing huh" "You don''t have to worry about me all the time" "Well you''re my daughter, of course I worry about you, anyway, what do want for lunch?" "Anything is good" "Then I''ll make your favorite" "Ok, I''ll be in my room" I walked to my room and sat on my bed. What is happening to me, I thought that reaper took my heart, I thought I wasn''t supposed to feel anything, but talking to that boy, it was pleasant. I was happy when talking to him, I laughed, and it felt warm. But my heart is already gone, then what is this? 2015 February 11 - 10.30 P.M - My Room. Today... I felt Happy Chapter 6: A Connection Chapter 6: A Connection 2015 February 12 - 09.00 A.M - Home. I woke up in the morning and ate breakfast as usual. "Uhm Hisako... are you alright?" "Huh? I''m fine" "It''s just that you were spacing out" "I''m just sleepy, I couldn''t sleep last night" "Eh... did you had a nightmare?" "Yes, it was just a nightmare" but the truth is, I couldn''t sleep because I couldn''t stop thinking about yesterday "Hisako... I''m sorry" "Huh? For what?" "I''m sorry that I never pay attention to you, I''m sorry that your father...." "Mom, it''s ok, I''m fine now, you don''t have to say sorry to me" "But it''s my fault your life was miser..." Out of impulse I hugged my mom, and she kept crying. I wanted to let go, but I couldn''t, I just couldn''t let go. What is this? Sympathy? Why am I feeling sympathy? I had thought this morning would just be the same as everyday, but now everyday is never the same. Today was no exception. 2015 February 12 - 01.00 P.M - Home. After breakfast, we both went back to our daily lives and acted as if nothing had happened. I just watch TV the whole time and my mom was tidying the house. After my mom finished tidying the house, she was preparing her stuff, she was preparing to go somewhere. "Hey, Hisako, is it alright if I leave for a few hours?" "I''ll be ok, where are you going?" "I''m going to look for a job, a friend of mine recommended a few places that might be looking for help, are you sure you''ll be fine?" "Yes, I can take care of myself" "Ok then, if you''re hungry you can heat up the food in the fridge" "Ok" "Take care" My mom had to look for a job since dad is in jail. 2015 February 12 - 03.00 P.M - Home. I was still watching TV, then the doorbell rang. Did my mom came back early? Did she get the job? I opened the door. "Good afternoon Hisako!" "Tomomi!" "Ah sorry if I came to your house without telling you first, I''m just here to give you these, if you don''t feel like it I''ll leave" "Thanks, what are these?" "It''s tea leaves from china, my uncle was visiting us from china, so I thought I should give some to you. Well then, I guess I shoul g..." "Come in" "Eh? Is it really ok?" "Yes, I''ll prepare the tea" "I''ll help you with that" "It''s fine, can do it myself" I invited her inside, I was bored, I just wanted to talk to her. 2015 February 12 - 04.00 P.M - Home. An hour passed as we talked, I only listened and give short response to her. "Anyway, you''re coming back to school next week right?" "Yeah, why?" This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it. "To tell you the truth, it''s just not the same without you, I was lonely you know" "You have other friends, why don''t you hang out with them?" "Yeah, but they always talk about the same thing everyday it''s getting kinda boring, by the way, is your mom not home?" "She''s looking for a job, since dad is...." "Ahh! I get it, let''s change the subject, did you know we got a new student in our class" "New student?" "Yeah, he kinda looked like a foreigner, and also good looking" The new student is a boy and looks like a foreigner, is it him? "Did he come to school late yesterday and was his hair grey?" "Well... yeah, how did you know?" "I saw someone wearing our school uniform and he was running" "Hmm, you know, he said he was lost, and he met a girl in the park, she walked him to school. Hisako... it was you wasn''t it" "..." "I knew it, his description on the girl realy match you, but I didn''t think it was really you" "He told you about me?" "Yeah, he seemed really interested in you, and you seem to be interested in him... do you like him?" "Huh?" "I mean you don''t usually ask about someone" "No, there''s just something about him that bothers me" "Aaah, I thought you started to like guys. What time is it anyway?" "It''s 4.50" "What! Already this late! I gotta get back, I promised my mom I would help her cook dinner. Well then I guess I''ll see you next week" "Ok, take care" 2015 February 12 - 06.00 P.M - Home. The sound of the doorbell rang again. "I''m back" "Welcome home" "Did you already ate?" "Yes, I heated the food in the fridge. Did you get the job" "Uhm... they said that I wasn''t the right person for the job, but I''m going to look for a job again tomorrow, sorry but I''m gonna have to leave you again tomorrow" "Mom, you don''t have to worry about me, I can take care of myself" "Yeah, you''re right, I''m too overprotective aren''t I, I just don''t want to make the same mistake again" "It''s not your fault" "Huh?" After saying that I went to my room, ''It''s not your fault'' because the world is to blame for what is happening, we are only following the path that was already made for each of us. 2015 February 12 - 08.00 P.M - My Room. I sat lay down on my bed and thought, What happened today? I wanted to talk to my friend. I was interested in that boy. I wanted to comfort my mom Am I getting attached to them? Am I even supposed to be able to feel this way? I can feel everything around me changing..... Including me. 2015 February 12 - 09.00 P.M - My Room Today... I felt Connected