《The Conqueror's Diary》


 Welcome to the real deal

    ¡°On the death¡¯s door, I stand,


    wondering; what was the past about


    which slid away like sand,


    It did no mercy on me,


    made me feel like I can''t.


    My goals, and my ambition, all turned wee.


    The open doors closed,


    nothing to see.


    In my last moments,


    my mind went astray,


    Nothing but regrets,


    that''s what death¡¯s about.


    and it only gets worse


    because after this moment


    I''ll never be the man I was and could have been.¡±


    <h2 style="text-align: center">¡°A man¡¯s wants cannot be fulfilled even if all of eternity is provided to him¡±</h2>


    <h3 style="text-align: left">1 November, 2060


    ¡°I regret nothing, death is the best thing that could''ve happened right now,¡± I thought as my life flashed before my eyes, while I fell from a skyscraper window. I saw all the days when I was being bullied, kicked out of my house, being homeless for years, even slaving away in the corporate world, meeting the woman of my dreams, as well as feeling her taking her last breaths in my hands, shutting down myself in the dark walls of the only shitty penthouse I could rent, and through those walls I could hear her voice, that hellhole which became my safe space. As I felt the floor crashing into me I had no regrets but a wish that i could''ve spent some more time with my wife. The moment my consciousness was fading away was the only moment I was surrounded by people worried for me, I must''ve been the only person they saw pass away with a smile.


    Day 1 of the ¡®real deal¡¯


    As my consciousness slowly faded into darkness¡­¡­ I heard a voice call out to me, emotions suddenly clouded my mind, thoughts like ''did i not die, ''do i really have to go back to that job again?'' my hands started shaking as my eyes teared, no amount of strength could make my hands stop.


    This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    i mustered up all my courage to take my hands to my throat trying to choke myself to death. Before i could squeeze my throat a voice stopped me, the words "trying to die twice are you?", i spoke up in a broken voice sarcastically "Well if i failed the first time, got to try again! just like the popular saying ''second time''s the charm'' isn''t it?" The man started laughing uncontrollably while passing remarks with the likes of ''this is one one of the best ones i have heard'', which made me annoyed to the extent i wanted to kill that person just as must as myself, the voice kept on laughing until i burst out in an emotional outburst, "Do you have any idea what I have been through!? what I have endured!? what I have lost!? I did not decide to end it on a whim, i have been suffering my whole life, and you think its a damn joke!?"


    I would''ve gone on for the whole day but the voice interrupted me, "you''re dead already moral, or as you call yourself ''Arick'', the name does not suit you, you are just a lonely depressed man, you did nothing your whole life to deserve to be called Arick. shut up and listen. You are dead! this is the real deal, or what you like to call afterlife. the life you experienced was a tutorial, you are about to experience the real stuff. So stop crying like a man-child, presenting yourself as the only one suffering, I have seen billions of people like you, people with no purpose, people with no ambition, or what i like to call ''the people who never lived''. So this is funny, your conditions is funny, your life was funny. If you live the same way here, you would be the biggest joke. so shut up!"


    With this the room fell into silence, i did not have a reply for him. He was right, my whole life I was just sorry, i did not even try to escape out of my misery, i just accepted. As I was engulfed the source of the voice walked in, contrary to my expectations the man looked like what a person would imagine a butler to be, this made me scoff a little and made me feel a moment of superiority until he opened his mouth and started narrating me whole life, the more he spoke the more I got pushed into a trance, the man seemed like the almighty. He might even be god for all i know.


    After he just narrated me my whole life, he instructed me while handing me a glass of water to get ready for the journey to the real deal both physically and mentally before leaving laughing like a madman.


    nothing could prepare me for what was to come next.

 exploring the real deal

    ¡°In fear of hell, people change their heaven into one¡±


    Day 2 of the ¡®real deal¡¯


    Today i woke up to sound of that person disguised as a butler. I was still bitter about yesterday, so in my mind i decided to call him Alfred. Alfred walked into the room with a commanding aura surrounding him. He gave me a signal to follow him. We started walking to a rather grim place. I saw people with the same lifeless eyes as Alfred, those people were coiled up in different corners completely alone, and no one near them. This made me se a glimpse of myself in one of the people staring at me intently, the person seemed like he wanted to say something, like he was calling out to me. That freaked me out, after a few more minutes of this walk in this loud silence, I had finally managed the courage to ask Alfred what may have been one of the biggest mistake i could make, ¡°what is this place?¡±, ¡°this is the place you humans call hell, welcome to the land afar. These are the people who had too many regrets and couldn''t accept death as is, these guys cripple and lose their humanity, just as you can see.¡± he replied in a rather nonchalant tone making the situation all the more weird. Curiosity got the better of me ¡°Wasn¡¯t hell made for sinners, sent there for eternal punishment¡± I asked on an impulse, the answer he offered to me made shivers run down my spine and forced me into a state of deep speculative introspection, ¡°hell isn''t a place a person can be sent to, it''s a place only a person can throw themselves in. hell is a mindset, hell is a choice." the everlasting path through this ¡®hell¡¯ was a very uncomfortable journey. Throughout the path his words kept going on and on in my mind.


    Slowly but surely the path started to lighten up and with that my mood as well. The room was filled with vibrant ornaments, I tried to touch one of them but the closer I went the further they shifted. Disappointed I turned around and faced the man leading me. He stood in the middle of the room and offered me a chance to get just one item from that extravagant collection of artifacts.


    I looked at a lot of things made out of gold, silver, heck even diamonds. I wanted it all, for a few moments i was consumed by greed. Maybe it was just my mind trying to fill up the lack of any wealth my whole life. I saw a very beautiful harp, which reminded me of my late wife. I wanted to pick the harp but the words of my wife in her beautiful voice rang in my ear ¡®you should write a diary, it will help calm you down.¡¯ i let go of the harp and asked the man if they had a never ending diary and a pen.


    The man was surprised to say the least, but he did find an old-looking diary and a pen which looked rather royal. The diary even had a title, ¡®the conqueror''s journal¡¯. It did make me feel nice as i looked at the diary thinking if not in my lifetime lets just follow the words of my wife in the afterlife, maybe this would''ve made her happy. Without prior warning the man dropped me in the middle of some large plains, with no man in sight..


    Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    Upon looking around a little bit I stumbled upon a small village with multiple cottage huts, a few cattle, and children running around. But even after I saw all this happiness and carelessness, the images of the far away could not leave my mind. They were stuck in my mind like an invasive parasite. Even though at first glance everybody seemed cheerful and lively, at a closer glance I saw those deathly faces in every single one of those kids, somewhere in there, those kids had lost the spark beneath their eyes. I knew beneath those smiling faces were children who had faced unimaginable situations. I knew they were happy and cheerful on the surface but they were not complete from the inside. I started to imagined that my old self would have loathed every single one those children, either thinking of them to be annoying or too energetic


    But, now it''s kind of soothing to see cheerful faces around, maybe I grew tired of the seclusion after the scene in the ¡°land afar¡± . I am still skeptical about the words of that man, how can hell be a mindset? And what did he mean by losing our humanity by not letting go of regrets? These thoughts ruled over my mind. I felt like I was starting to drown in the thoughts of the land afar when I was pulled out from my trance by an old man.


    He seemed nice at first sight but something was off about him. Something just didn''t feel right, he offered me a place at his house after getting to know that I was new to the real deal. The deal was not ideal, staying at the place of an unknown man your first day in a brand new place seems like something only a fool would do.


    As I walked into the room he lent to me I glanced at the mirror, the person i saw in there was not me, at least not what i am, the image in the mirror was of my young self, a version of myself who believed in the good of the world seeing the good in people was one of my daily activities, and not only that, if i remember correctly that was the time i used to be truly happy, maybe seeing the good in people was really the key. The one i saw in the mirror was the newlywed me, the image of the dumb boy who didn''t realize what wealth he had and how much it was worth.


    I clearly remember that day, after our marriage it was the first date we went out as a married couple. I wore the best clothes i had, obviously she picked it out, i had absolutely no fashion sense. That day she looked as beautiful as ever. I felt lucky to be alive just because she was there with me. I still cannot forget that beautiful smile shining through her beach cap, making even the sun look pale in her comparison. No words could describe how angelic she looked, sometimes even making me wonder ¡®did i really deserve someone like her?¡¯


    Just thinking about her makes my heart feel warm but a lingering touch of pain comes along with it. For which I cannot forgive myself to this day. I guess I should sleep now. Let''s end this eventful day here on this nice memory of my wife, i would like not to cry on my first day here


    Good night