《A Hunter's Plaything - Extremely Hunterish Hunter》 01 - Its such a pain to farm for High Grade Earplugs! I was approaching the beast. As the strongest beast in the whole game, it had ridiculous attack, but for us hunters it was the same case, we had ridiculous armors and weapons. At least ridiculous from what we started with. My partners were fighting it skillfully, it was kind of strange to see them handle it so perfectly. But a single hit of the monster could bring our HP almost all the way down, it was only thanks to a certain skill we would not die in one hit. ¡°Guts is a very useful skill¡± I said in the chat, it is awkward to say things in English in this game, especially since it is an only Japan, so it was blocked by IP but thanks to some tricks we could get to play it. A hit, his HP went down from 150 to 10, and all that was left was a combo to kill him. Guts was a skill that when your HP was above a certain spot, any one hit K.O. would be neutralized and instead would bring you down to 10 HP. I instantly prepared to heal him by using my special skill ¡®Wide-Area Effect¡±. My partners would use Lifepowders, which were potions that were able to heal other players, but my skill let me use normal potions to do that so I could heal myself and my buddy at the same time. ¡°Thanks¡± He said before returning to battle. He then lifted to air with the pair of weapons he used. They were called Tonfas, you could only get them from a certain point of the game onwards, and they were a mostly offensive-evasive weapon. It was more of a Jack-of-all-Trades weapon. This lift was a simple movement that other weapons could not use, which is only one of the special traits of this weapon. While on the air, one could keep attacking with the weapons, the jump had frames of invincibility too, so he could dodge on those frames any kind of attack. That combined with another one of my buddies¡¯ Evasion +2 skill that was implanted on other people, a skill that let us have more frames unlocked in our evades, made it very easy to dodge any attack. I rushed to the boss, near its death and entering the third stage of the fight, he suddenly froze himself up. It was a cutscene. From this cool sight the already completely froze monster suddenly exploded and from there a monster with a metallic skin covering him appeared. The cutscene ended and we were facing him again. He (supposedly male) started flying with his two wings in the air, whilst doing that also making giant ice spikes fall to the floor that would later explode if we came into contact with them. The idea was to dodge them either by running away or just simply evading if we had failed to do so. It wasn¡¯t so hard for the Tonfa user or the Dual Blades player. But for me, someone who was very used to the Longsword, my roll was a pretty straightforward¡­ roll, so while easy it didn¡¯t feel as epic. The monster finally went down to earth and on that very same spot we all launched to him on an all-out attack. Two Tonfa players and then one Dual Blades and one Longsword. He made a quick tail whip and sent me flying only to see my HP go back to a full 150 because someone used a Lifepowder. Back onto the action. My attacks were many. So by describing them we can just get a very good view of the battle. I did a side-step with my Longsword, making a vertical attack, then starting a spirit combo interrupted at the middle, this combo was a simple double horizontal attack followed by another double horizontal attack and a finisher vertical down-slash. On earlier versions of this weapon¡¯s moveset, that would be the end of the combo but I can resume the attack again by continuing with an upward slash. My side-steps could make me get out of the way of an attack but the monster was huge so it was kind of pointless anyways, and they also don¡¯t have any kind of frame invincibility so it was even more useless. I used them to reallocate myself and to back away, and sometimes to keep the combo going because it¡¯s faster. The beast started turning to me at that time, after focusing on every other player and doing many flashy movements it finally turned to me. I was close to him so he just had to start with the worse kind of attack for me, it was a charge. Of course if I was between his legs he wouldn¡¯t hit me but this game hitbox prevented that from happening, so I had to believe in my roll to evade that attack. Every frame was calculated by the game, I rolled into the attack because the frames on that side were less than if I were to roll to the side, so if for any reason I managed to roll the attack, I wouldn¡¯t get hit by the continuing frames of it. It wasn¡¯t even a second I could manage to stay like this, but it was enough, and it managed to make me evade his charge in time. I wasn¡¯t hurt and not even affected by any kind of blight, even though that comes from another monster. ¡°I got you!¡± I thought at the time, everyone was playing very aggressively because we each one had support on our backs. Everyone cared deeply for the other¡¯s safety, or more like, the death counter. If the shared death reached 3, then we would fail the quest. But we were at 0. ¡°We¡¯re nailing it, keep going!¡± Said one of the party members, also a member of my English talking guild. Following his words we kept, the beast was just making a 180o turn from the charge, it went flying so we couldn¡¯t attack anymore and instead had to wait for him to come down. Huge spikes of ice came flying again and exploding, but this time instead of silently going down, because this was his third phase, he had to have something special for us. ¡°Be careful¡± Didn¡¯t type that one, it was an auto-message I had set onto a key shortcut, and it was especially made for situations like this. The beast marked his fly on the floor with his shadow, and his shadow suddenly cast a huge black hole on the earth, but that black suddenly turned to red, and instantly then turned to a bright white, the ice kind of white. It was a straight line and we were all out of its reach, that whole line exploded sending pieces of ice our way, prepared to hit us as a last-resort of managing to at least kill one of us, even though it couldn¡¯t. Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon. ¡°What!?¡± I thought at that very moment. Those pieces of ice suddenly had crashed into one of my buddies, wasn¡¯t such a big deal, that wasn¡¯t what surprised me though. I had healed him on the spot but suddenly something that we didn¡¯t know happened. The rock of ice that had hit him split into pieces and those pieces fused with the floor around him, even though I tried to heal him my potions didn¡¯t do as much healing as it was required to instantly return him to the safe area of the Guts¡¯ skill. The area where the ice had fused suddenly became a huge cage of ice around my partner, that cage became more and smaller and suddenly started to crush him before making a huge explosion because of the compression required to do such an attack. It was an instant-kill, that Dual Blades user was there no longer. We became aware of that kind of attack, we couldn¡¯t get hit by any ice or we would die the same death. ¡°When one gets hit like that, we should probably heal him on duo¡± That¡¯s true, the first Tonfa user who¡¯s username was typed in Japanese to blend more into the community typed that. My potions could only heal 60 of the total of 150 HP, the Guts skill activates at around 80 HP so we would need two of those potions to reach that. ¡°Sorry!¡± The Dual Blades guy who had an English name which got him into lots of problem before came to the area again after preparing in the camp, a special zone in which one starts some quests and also comes to when one dies. It has supplies and all sorts of things but not much for us. We just typed the usual no problems and started again. That attack took us by surprise, yes, but it wasn¡¯t the end of this rampage. The beast was moving extremely fast now, if I could compare it to something in the real life it would surely be a Jet moving at an extremely fast speed. In fact, that¡¯s what it appeared to be when it was flying. The camera let us see but a part of him in the sky, so we were stuck with his shadow which was positioned to the left of him so we needed to guess his position. All of a sudden we heard a roar, it was one that made users that didn¡¯t have ¡°High Grade Earplugs¡± stop moving. I knew what was coming but I couldn¡¯t stop it, I had that skill, most people had it but I knew one who couldn¡¯t get the gem needed for that before having to do this quest, he had regular Earplugs. This was a problem. ¡°Uh-oh¡± I tried to type casually before deleting it from the chat box, that would make things worse. We could only see as he trembled, or more like his character started trembling in fear from the roar. When a monster roared we would normally crouch down to protect our ears from breaking because of the extremely high decibels of that roar, in the case of some monsters it could even blast us away. The Earplug skill prevented that, but some monsters required a higher Earplug to resist. A sudden crash on the floor was heard, when I made way to the area with my camera I could only see that very same person I was talking about being crushed completely by the flying monster that came down to him. A complete body slam that was also furiously amplified by the extremely fast speed at which the monster had been flying and including that the Ice elemental attack which the beast could provoke from its attacks. ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s not very good¡± He typed while he was down, the only moment in which we could make sure he could go back to 80+ HP without having to die, Guts had activated and he had come back to 10 HP. We had to make him live, so we had to heal him so Guts would have its effect again, but before doing that we have to rethink our positions a bit¡­ He was around 10 meters North of us, and we both were in an exact straight line. All the monster had to do to shake us and make us not be able to heal him was¡­ jump south. A quick back-jump monsters did when they knew they were in trouble. This jump didn¡¯t even take a quarter of our HP, it wasn¡¯t too much, but it was certainly much for the one guy we needed to heal. If it was only a back-jump to evade attacks then it would be fine, but this certain monster started a sudden laser attack which completely obliterated this guy. That was the last thing we were expecting, 2 deaths in the counter and we were about to fail the quest. ¡°He¡¯s about to die anyways (the monster), let us be careful!¡± I typed. This same thing used to happen when we started the game, but it stopped happening from a point onwards, that was because we had become more skillful, and that doesn¡¯t only talk about our actual skills in the armor set or gem combination, but also our muscle memory and reflexes made it easier to evade certain attacks and we were aware of everyone¡¯s weaknesses so we were a very good team overall. Suddenly the monster started flying. This flying monster was a mess, it wasn¡¯t even fun at this point how many things were being thrown at us one after the other, but we needed to withstand it. So, I kind of started to laugh awkwardly after seeing what just happened. When he plunged into the sky he suddenly rained down lots of ice balls that contained a red matter inside. The ice balls themselves were something we had not expected so if we didn¡¯t evade them at the right time, we would just get all pushed away by them. Yes, it could only be avoided by dodging at the same time those balls impacted the floor. Everyone except me managed it. That would be the end of it, but the ¡°frozen floor¡± supposedly started freezing me to death, so I died because of the chip damage. ¡°SERIOUSLY!¡± I screamed and then covered my mouth with my hands. I could not contain it but I was living in an apartment so I couldn¡¯t just go and shout at night. But it was extremely infuriating. It was a simple attack I couldn¡¯t evade and because of that, the counter of a total of 3 deaths¡­ reached those very 3 deaths. 02 - That awkward feeling when youre the first to log out in a full party What a shitty day that was the one before. After convincing myself it was just bad luck I tried to go play a different game, one that had different monsters and that was not so flashy. I was talking about Extreme Supreme Duper Super Hyper Hunter United Unite, a very old entry in the main-saga but the only one I had on the PXP besides Extreme Supreme Duper Super Hyper Hunter Portable Joestar, another game I couldn¡¯t understand as it was in Japanese. In United Unite the monsters wouldn¡¯t suddenly go and blast the floor making it turn into ice that could explode in any moment and they won¡¯t fire lasers all of a sudden, even though there are some monsters that will fire lasers¡­ but not all of a sudden, they won¡¯t just go ¡°I¡¯m firing mah lazor¡± all over the place. I started the game, skipped the FMV cutscene that greeted me every time before the Title Screen and went to load my game. ¡°Man do I have lots of hours invested into this one, not even Frontier G8 could go over this¡± Yes, they were over 500 hours so I knew the game almost like the palm of my hand. I searched for my equipment. All this need of having to use Guts and AoE Heals and shaz sure made me wish to have them in United Unite, but that would just be a waste of skills. Guts is still present in this game as is the Wide-Effect Healing skill but they are not as useful as in Frontier G8. Only a few monsters need Guts at all, and Wide-Effect Healing isn¡¯t really all that needed because of the lack of Guts and insta-kills and combos. I logged into adhocParty on my PX3 and after preparing my rockstar set ¨Cat least that¡¯s what it looked like to me- I felt ready to just go and kick some easy asses. Fartalis armor could have been good but I really dislike the look of it, and because I¡¯m a woman in the game the Pedostra, Chakantor and Bitchataur armors mixed into a very good looking rockstar kind of set. I call it that because when my friend used it on a male set, it really looked like that. I¡¯d guess you could call it the Dio Brando Set. The skills were¡­ well, they changed depending on the weapon I used, but because I was using a Longsword I used Sharpness +1 which gave more sharpness to my weapon. Reckless Abandon +2 which made my critical chance rise by a 20% and Sharp Sword which made the sharpness of my weapon decrease slower, by a half I think. So, this is good for me because my weapon could reach the maximum sharpness which is Purple, increasing my damage by a lot. ***XxXDankMasterofPuppetsXxX*** has entered the guild hall. My name showed and other players acted happy, looks like they¡¯ve been waiting for quite a bit. Let¡¯s greet them first¡­ I¡¯ll activate voice-chat. ¡°So, hello!¡± I said. They were, donkard, FrenchGuy and spacedandy13. Awkward names. ¡°Hahaha, yeah!¡± FrenchGuy typed, seemed like he didn¡¯t want to speak. ¡°I need to do my Bargoth urgent¡± donkard said with a very manly voice. ¡°No, you¡¯re in the wrong game. Bargoth is an exclusive Portable Joestar monster¡­¡± I answered. ¡°Is that so¡­? I see, sorry¡± ¡°No problem, it can be quite hard with all these games¡± ¡°Yeah¡­ well, you see¡­ my wife has been hitting me very hard recently¡± Wha-? ¡°Okay? Huh, so what are we hunting?¡± ¡°No, listen to me first. So my wife has been hitting me very hard recently and I don¡¯t know what to do. Every time I come home from work she grabs her frying pan and starts hitting me in the butt, I really don¡¯t know what to do. Have I done something wrong?¡± He answered with a furious tone, almost as if saying he would not forgive me if I told him I didn¡¯t want to listen. ¡°You should tell me what have you done recently that might¡­ make her angry?¡± I tried to start a conversation. ¡°But first we should start a quest, an easy one so that we can listen to you and help you¡± So we chose to hunt a Great Bangee, a very easy monster that lives in the Tundra. Do remember guys, this is United Unite. ¡°Every time I arrived at work I would just sit there and start doing my job, but it¡¯s awkward. Aside from that I don¡¯t remember doing anything bad. To be honest, I think she might have a craving for my popo¡± ¡°Your¡­ popo?¡± ¡°Yes, and she might just want to just go and suck my popo¡± ¡°What do you mean by your popo exactly?¡± ¡°My ****¡± ¡°Aaaaaaand why do you have to reach that conclusion in the first place? How do you even think your solution will be to just think that? You should probably try to reach the actual truth, not show me your popo on the videocall screen¡± I answered angry. ¡°I see, you¡¯re right. Yes¡± It must have meant something important to him to think it was something else other than his popo. ¡°But if it¡¯s not my popo, what is it then?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. It could be anything, a woman can be hard at times¡± I tried to make him think instead of him making me do all the brainstorm. ¡°Meaning?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll tell you a story that once happened when I was a child. So, when I was in elementary I used to play with this very hot girl. We happened to get along for many years and just when I was around 14 or so she finally confessed to me. Up until that part everything was going fine but you see, I just didn¡¯t actually like her. I only liked her boobs, not her, I couldn¡¯t just go and accept her for the pair of blangos she had on her. She got mad and punched me in the face, I couldn¡¯t even answer back because she was a blangowoman of such proportions I couldn¡¯t even see her face¡± ¡°So you mean her blangos were covering her whole face?¡± ¡°Yes, so I might have loved her for a reason other than her blangos, but because they were covering her face it was kind of impossible¡­ oh, look, I spawned in the hidden area¡± Lucky me, I needed some Dragonboner Relics that would only spawn here. ¡°I see, yes. That seems like something a woman would get mad at even though it¡¯s not your fault. A situation very similar happened to me too. I used to be a very hard delinquent back at the age of 16. By delinquent I meant actual robbing, not some pussy gang fights. Thankfully my crimes weren¡¯t all that bad so the sentence was for 4 months and that¡¯s it. When I got out I met my first real love, she looked at me and I also at her, and it was very good, oh yes. Those eyes, such bestiality in them, this is why I love this ga--¡± ¡°Please try to stick to your story¡± I told him. ¡°Okay, sorry, I got carried away. So I needed to blend into society again and started working on getting a work. As silly as it sounds, my whole routine used to be searching for the work that would feel comfortable for me and would make my life easier. I could finally find that spot in MrDonalds, it was a great place. Giving burgers to children made me feel really warm inside, and that very same day I realized that she was also working with me in that place¡± Oh! Unexpected results, what will this end like? For now let¡¯s switch to a third person view of the story because I¡¯m not an-okay-guy to keep this just with dialogue. A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ¡°You are¡­¡± He tried to talk to her, but his words just wouldn¡¯t come out. ¡°Oh, you¡¯re the awkward guy that got out of prison aren¡¯t ya? Oh yes, black guy sure got it tough huh? So, were you accused even though you were innocent here tough fella?¡± ¡°Huh?¡± The guy was extremely surprised with the tone the woman was talking to him, and the words she was using would not fit at all in a kind of workplace as MrDonalds. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I must not¡­ be the guy you¡¯re searching for¡± ¡°Oh, don¡¯t be silly! You are of course, you¡¯re that ol¡¯ nigger over there! Oh please, I was gonna visit my son but ¡®cha big muscles guy needed to get out of that shit-hole. Oh good muscles, please, I¡¯m gonna faint! Let me¡­¡± ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ¡°I¡­ see¡± I told him when he finally finished his story. That was a very useless third person panel. ¡°That is certainly something that would make a woman faint. Wait! We¡¯re not talking about fainting women here, we were talking about women that--- oh, look, there¡¯s the Great Bangee¡± So yes, that was extremely awkward. And yet we¡¯ve no clue to the reason her wife is denying him, and hitting him and stuff. ¡°So¡­¡± ¡°Yes, okay. Let us try a different approach here. She might not actually be mad at you but instead she might want something and to make her ¡°not want it¡± she instead hits you, or something like that?¡± I wasn¡¯t even sure about what to say. ¡°So you mean like, when you want a rare item in this game and the desire sensor just tells you NO in big letters, therefore you¡¯re left alone with your stupid armor set and start hitting that monster but in lower ranks so you can make your fury go down?¡± ¡°Uh¡­ kinda¡± ¡°Yes, I can understand that, but real life isn¡¯t Portable Joestar¡± This isn¡¯t Portable Joestar, this is United Unite. ¡°Please do understand that¡± ¡°Yeah, you¡¯re right¡± There was a huge pause in between our exchange of dialogues from now on. The Great Bangee was about to die. ¡°Could it be¡­¡± He started talking. ¡°Does she actually hate me, and so, she¡¯s gone to another man and is actually hitting me so I hate her and divorce?¡± Ow man, that¡¯s sure a rough one. ¡°That¡¯s too specific, but it isn¡¯t impossible. Oh god, what should I do to confirm it?¡± ¡°Have you heard any strange sounds when you¡¯re asleep? Like your wife getting out of bed or something like that? It might be¡­ that she¡¯s going out to do that¡± ¡°That?¡± ¡°Yes¡­ that, the forbidden art of making children, but with another guy¡± ¡°UNTHINKABLE. IMPOSSIBLE. I¡¯ve yet to even try that ninjutsu, how could she just go and leave me alone here while playing with some awkward guy at Portable Joestar!¡± Well, excuse me. ¡°Calm down, it¡¯s only a possibility of the million. It doesn¡¯t necessarily need to be true, man. Wait, look, the monster is limping. Should we capture it or---¡° I stopped for a moment and looked at the screen of adhocParty only to see the hundreds of comments spacedandy13 had posted saying ¡°CAPTURE, CAPTURE, CAPTURE¡±. And then, the millions of text messages FrenchGuy had somehow typed that said ¡°Pussy her, pussy her, pussy her!¡±. Yeah, they were of course listening to the whole conversation and giving their thoughts about it, except for spacedandy13. I scrolled down a bit to see the last message of spacedandy13 only to see it saying ¡°I¡¯m alone guys, what happened? And please stop talking, I cannot concentrate with you and my mom laughing at me on my back¡± Next moment he disconnected from the party both in adhocParty and in United Unite. I was left with FrenchGuy and donkard. This was problematic, really. The only real guy has left the party now. ¡°Je suis le putte trappe!¡± So he was putting the trap, that¡¯s what I guessed from his message at least. ¡°Let us not worry about the trap. The monster will enter the area soon, just stand near the trap and tranq him when he gets her-¡° ¡°It¡­ can¡¯t be!¡± Suddenly donkard started shouting. ¡°A black guy, I can see him even though faintly, but he¡¯s there! I saw him in the window. How could this be? Is it him? Could my wife really be putting me the diablos in my ass because of this black guy!?¡± ¡°Calm down, calm down! They do say black guys are hard to spot in darkness so that must be one reason why you should probably think that he¡¯s about to steal your house, in which case you should probably worry more about your stuff and your live than this Great Bangee you probably don¡¯t need!¡± If what he was saying is true, this could be two outcomes, and the worst is yet to be decided, the first can lead to a mental scar, but the second one could lead to him not being able to play Portable Joestar again! ¡°Do I call the police!? DO I 911 THE HECK OUT OF THEM!?¡± He typed in the second sentence as to not alarm the black guy outside. ¡°Of course you do! It¡¯s the police¡¯s job to deal with stuff that¡¯s dark and grim!¡± ¡°I see, yes. I¡¯ll go down and call the police right now. Wait here¡± I waited for around two minutes and then I started to hear screams. ¡°Oh man, what¡¯s happening there¡± The videocam only showed me his room, the room of a fellow hunter. The door was open and from there a black guy showed up¡­ clinging to the same hunter¡¯s leg. ¡°SPARE ME, PLEASE! I SWEAR NOT TO DO IT!¡± Said the black guy. ¡°I won¡¯t¡­ NO I WON¡¯T, GET THE HELL OUT YOU STUPID GAY RAPER! WHY DID YOU TOUCH MY BUTT, WHY DID YOU TRY TO ENTER MY HOUSE!¡± ¡°Wait, what?¡± I thought. I was surprised, and this whole situation was getting out of hand. ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ but what?¡± I opened my eyes to this black guy trying to take donkard clothes off. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ sorry¡± Those were my last words before I disconnected from the guild hall, the capture quest, the PSX and turned off the PX3¡­ and went to sleep. To this day I still wonder what happened to this supposed wife of donkard¡¯s. _____________________________________________________________________________ This is what happens when I''m bored.