《Somewhere in a Forest》


 A really strange forest

    Day 1#


    Dear diary.


    I am going to die.


    Where am I? Don''t know. There''s stupid trees everywhere, and the whole place is infested with bugs.


    I''m scared. Please save me, mom.


    Day 2#


    There''s fruits here. They taste like rotten eggs and bugs. The bug part is because there are probably bugs in them. However, I am desperate for food, and therefore I must persevere through this trial of god.


    Who am I kidding. I don''t want to do this.


    Mom, if you didn''t try to sell me to buy those drugs, this never would have happened.


    Day 3#


    Sleeping outdoors was rough. I at least found some water. I am still in this forest, and the only thing I have is this magic diary that never runs out of pages or ink that I just conveniently had on me.


    When did I even get this?


    However, I shall not fret the small details, and will only focus on surviving and maybe even reaching people. If I survive, I shall tell this journey to my children. If I ever get any.


    Which is not going to happen, as some... Vital body-parts designed for that function have been smashed when I tripped on a log.


    Mom, it hurts.


    Day 4#


    I meat someone today.


    It was a bear.


    It was sleeping. Have you ever heard the saying of "don''t wake the sleeping bear"? Me neither.


    So I poked it with a stick. It was not amused. In fact, it tried poking me with it''s claws. Such a polite bear. I was just about to be eaten, when I saw some even bigger claws swoop down from the sky and snatch the bear away.


    There is always something bigger.


    In this case, it was an eagle large enough to bring a three meter tall bear up in the air in a second.


    I was sad. He was my only friend here.


    Day 5#


    My epic journey through these fantastical woods continue. I am currently lacking in proteins, due to there not being any meat or fish to be found. At least there''s water and shitty fruits here.


    That''s something, right?


    Day 6#


    Today I found a skeleton. Of a bear. Beneath an eagles nest. I am sorry, Mr Bear, I will mourn your passing.


    Day 7#


    Turns out, being stranded deep in a forest in some (probably) faraway land is really fucking boring. Like, really fucking boring,


    Day 13#


    For the past six days, I have been depressed due to thinking that I lost my diary. However, turns out I accidentally just put it in a different pocket than usual.


    The space between the trees have grown larger, and I had the brilliant idea of climbing up one of them to see if the forest ended anytime soon. After splendidly failing and falling on my butt three times I reached it.


    The good news is that the trees doesn''t seem to grow any thicker in the place I am heading.


    The bad news is that there are two suns. Where am I, really?


    Mom, this is all your fault. Probably.


    Day 14#


    It seems some of the grasses are edible. I found this out after munching on random things on the ground. There was lots of throwing up before I found this out, and a surprising amount of hallucinations. Thankfully most of them were happy, and made me see rainbows and unicorns.


    Mom would have loved to try these. She liked doing these kinds of things a lot.


    There were a few mushrooms that looked so colourful that they might explode, but there were lots of bees hovering around them, so I couldn''t try them out. Although I will if I ever get the chance.


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    Day 15#


    Today was a bad day.


    I met a person. Now you might think this is a good thing, but it was not a pleasant experience,


    Number one, he was buried with his lower body in the ground.


    And two, he was naked, had no face and was flailing his arms around like a crazy hobo on crack.


    It was very creepy, and I wished Mr. Bear was here. But he''s dead now. He was so innocent. After glancing away for a second and then looking back, the creature was gone. Just a pile of dirt was left.


    It was just a hallucination, right? Yeah, just an illusion.


    Day 16#


    Today was an awful day.


    Now, after smashing your jewels on a log, seeing your only friend get eaten by a giant eagle and hallucinating faceless, naked and crazy people buried half into a the ground you would have quite the resistance to bad days.


    However, for this, I was not prepared.


    The day started just like most of my last two weeks have, with me inhaling some bug and almost choking on it. It''s a very reliable way to wake up.


    After this I packed up my things, which consisted of a half-eaten fruit I left in my pocket for future munching and a small bag of happy-grass. To temporarily relieve some depression.


    Then it started raining. Lots. It had not rained before in this place, so I was very unprepared for this occurrence.


    Then I almost died before I realised the rain was acid. Then, after miraculously finding a random cave in the middle of nowhere I just sat there.


    Of course, I could not be alone in such a safe haven, so there came in a little deer looking for cover. It had soft, beautiful white fur and adorable, large brown eyes and just generally seemed clueless about how the world worked.


    Instead of trying to rip my throat out like any other animal would have in this situation, it went to sleep in a corner.


    After trying, and failing, to strangle it to death in it''s sleep, I gave up on making it useful and just used it as a pillow.


    When I was just about to fall asleep the deer shook me off and I landed face down on the ground.


    At this point it had stopped raining, but I was mostly focused on whining and kicking the poor deer for throwing me off his back.


    After my mood had cooled off, and the deer was huddling in a corner, trembling in fright, I decided to leave the cave.


    This is where the awfulness really began.


    Acid usually corrodes things, right? This was no exception. What awaited me outside the cave was a sizzling forest full of horribly disfigured and blackened trees. The few bushes that had survived turned to were thin and looked as if they break with just a breath, and there was not a single straw of grass left.


    No more fruits or berries for me. Even the colourful mushrooms were gone. At this time the deer came out. Instead of being sad and troubled by the rain, it ran to me and started licking me. As you would expect from a stupid animal. Mr Bear was much nicer.


    So, I not only have a ruined forest without food, but also an incredibly annoying pet that constantly follows me around everywhere and licks my face all the time.


    Maybe I should try to kill it for food again. Even raw meat sounds better than starvation, and since it''s young, it might be delicious anyways. Hunger is the best spice, after all.

 The forest is strange

    Day #16


    Today I didn''t really know what to do. There was no food anywhere near me, so I could only continue walking, and hope the rain didn''t cover too much space. I have grown used to walking for hours, so that didn''t bother me as much as it did in the beginning.


    However, there was one problem.


    The little deer had decided that I was some kind of saviour to it, and was following me around. It often blocked my path, determined to constantly shower me with it''s eternal love and gratitude.


    It''s incredibly annoying, and due to this, progress slowed down to a crawl.


    I will try to starve it to death for now.


    Day #17


    Walk, walk, walk.


    There is nobody to speak to. I tried to communicate with the deer, but as expected, it just stared dumbly into my face. Stupid animal. I felt I could understand Mr. Bear, even if I only knew him for about five seconds, but this one was too dumb for that.


    I am also getting hungry. Somehow, the water isn''t contaminated, so I could still drink from all of the small rivers crossing through the forest.


    Day #18


    By now, I am really hungry. The deer shows no signs of being tired, and I have yet to see it drink anything. Usually it just stares at me when I''m sleeping. It''s a bit creepy, to be honest.


    I didn''t wake up the usual way, instead, the deer licked my face until I woke up. There''s nothing left to dry it with, so I had to walk around with a wet face all morning.


    Day #19


    Today I finally realised a use for the deer. I could ride it.


    If it doesn''t get tired easily and neither eat nor drink often it will be the perfect riding animal.


    This way, it also wont be able to be annoying, and I can show who is the boss.


    It was a lot of trouble to get on him. I tried lots of things to make him understand me, and after a couple of hours he finally let me get on. It was uncomfortable as hell, and after the day was over, my butt felt like it was splitting in two. However, he was really fast, so I have to get used to it.


    Day #20


    My stomach was screaming at me the whole day today. I was really hungry. And soon, my sore body was put through the challenge of riding the deer without throwing up, passing out or getting hit in the face with the remaining branches. It didn''t help that my behind hurt even more than yesterday.


    Wish I had some food.


    Day 21#


    I found it. True happiness.


    A bush with berries on it. When I saw it I threw myself of the deer, hitting my head on a branch.


    But I had completely forgotten my hunger or pain at this point.


    It was the only thing in my sight, like a miracle sent from god.


    When I bit it, it tasted so bad I immediately threw it up again. It was the kind of taste that would induce a lifelong trauma, and it was on a completely different level of terrible when compared to previous awful meals.


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    There is just no way to keep it in your mouth for more than a millisecond. I simply laid there for an hour, silently weeping. When the deer came and tried to console me with a gentle nudge I slowly rose up and gave my best smile, which was comparable to a twisted horror mask, but the deer seemed to be relieved anyways.


    In an amazing gesture of generosity and kindheartedness, I picked one of the berries, and instead of eating it myself, who was starving to death, I reached out and gave it to my ever-loyal companion.


    After smelling it for a second, it seemed to do it''s equivalent of shrugging it''s shoulder, and then ate it.


    The deer fell on it''s side and never moved again. Mission completed.


    Day 22#


    The deer obviously represented bad luck. Maybe it was karma from my previous life that brought it to me. However, that chapter of my life is now over. And true to my theory, just five minutes away from the corpse the forest returned to normal, with lots of fruit and berries. I ate until I almost threw up, and then I ate some more.


    Now I can finally get out of this place. Let''s hope I wont be eaten.


    Day 23#


    Everything returned to normal today. Well, normal relative to this place. No more hurting behinds or starving nights. Just back to walking all day long, all alone. However, my clothes are dirty. Very dirty. I probably smell a lot too. However, that is good, because it masks my scent from other animals.


    I hope.


    Day 24#


    Surprisingly enough, I feel a bit lonely. I''m happy the deer is gone, but I wish Mr. Bear was here.


    This night, I had an awful dream. The acid rain came pouring down again, and I was hiding under a big tree. Then, the deer corpse came, melting away in the acid, and when it finally reached me it was but a blackened skeleton, giving off shrieking sounds that were really scary.


    Then I woke up, and I was sweating buckets. Maybe I should be worried about my mental health.


    Day 25#


    It''s terrible. The dream came back again, however this time, the skeleton tried to lick me, only to realise it didn''t have a tongue. It screamed it''s despair towards the heavens, and then I woke up again. I am getting worried about this.


    Later in the day, I found another eagle nest. It was basically like a crater in the ground stuffed with the hair of dead animals and twigs. Lots of twigs. Deep inside you could see some small, round fur-balls that were probably it''s kids.


    Since they were sleeping, I didn''t want to disturb them, and quietly sneaked past them, continuing my journey.