《Cause and Effect》 I met an old man Prologue 1 I noticed I was in my room at my house. That¡¯s weird. I don¡¯t remember getting to my house as I was walking home from school. ¡°Hey there!¡± ¡°Gah!¡± I punched the old man¡¯s face who came out of nowhere. ¡°That hurts young man!¡± ¡°Robber! Thief!¡± I quickly pull out one of my katanas that I keep on display in my room and quickly unsheathe it. ¡°Are you fucking insane!?¡± The old man quickly said as he dodged my strike. ¡°How did you even get inside? I remember locking the door before I went out.¡± ¡°Well first of all, getting into a house is laughably easy nowadays, and second of all I¡¯m God!¡± Upon hearing that, I stopped trying to swing my sword at him, reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. ¡°What are you doing young man?¡± He noticed I wasn¡¯t trying to kill him anymore and was curious at what I was doing. ¡°Calling mental services for a mentally insane person.¡± ¡°Why you¡­¡± The old man¡¯s face contorted in anger raised up his hands and then the room I was in was no longer there. ¡°What the?!¡± My face was in shock as my room suddenly disappeared and what replaced it was a white nothingness. ¡°There! Surprised aren¡¯t you?¡± ¡°What the hell happened?¡± ¡°I told you! I¡¯m God!¡± ¡°No. What really happened?¡± ¡°Look. You might not believe me but let me show you.¡± He raised his arms again and suddenly I was at a funeral. There was my mom and dad. My brothers and sisters were also there. I kinda got mad when I remembered how they pulled me into the bathtub and turned on the shower to wake me up this morning but then I noticed their expressions. ¡°Everyone. What¡¯s with the gloomy expressions? Who died?¡± I asked that to everyone but it seemed like they didn¡¯t even hear me at all. Mom and dad¡¯s eyes were lifeless and some of my siblings were even crying. I looked around and saw many of my friends and classmates here. ¡°Bullshit. This can¡¯t be real.¡± Things started clicking together in place as soon as I saw all my friends and family here with sad expressions and the old man calling himself god. ¡°We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of Edward Reed.¡± ¡°FUCKING DAMNIT!!!!¡± That was my name. I went and looked at the casket and surely enough I found myself in it. ¡°Ha ha. Believe me now?¡± The old man suddenly appeared right next to me and I swung my fist. ¡°Ow!¡± It hit him right in the nose as he took a step back and pinched his nose trying to stop a nosebleed coming out. ¡°Why show me this?¡± ¡°Is that how you young people ask for a favor?¡± ¡°Just tell me.¡± I wasn¡¯t in a mood to argue and just wanted answers. ¡°Good grief. Young people nowadays.¡± Although he said that, he didn¡¯t raise any complaints and just shrugged his shoulders as if to say ¡®Well, there¡¯s no helping it.¡¯ ¡°I showed you this to convince you that you were dead.¡± ¡°Well, I still have my doubts but for the most part I¡¯m satisfied.¡± ¡°Oh? What doubts do you still have?¡± ¡°For example, this could all be a figment of my imagination and I¡¯m more doped up than I could possibly imagine and once this is all over I¡¯m going to get doped up, again, to avoid ever remembering this dream¡± ¡°So why don¡¯t you believe this is all a dream?¡± ¡°Two things. One, I¡¯ve never met you before and I don¡¯t think I would ever dream about a mug as ugly as yours even if I was doped up on drugs.¡± ¡°Hey! That¡¯s uncalled for¡­¡± ¡°And two, my room was too perfect. I remembered where everything was and where I left it (including the things where I don¡¯t remember because it was too messy and buried under the pile of crap of what I call my room).¡± ¡°Hahaha. To believe its not a dream based on the messiness of your room. You would have had a great future if you hadn¡¯t died.¡± The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.¡°That leads me to my question. If you are really God, then why show me my death? Do you do this for every soul that¡¯s departed?¡± The old man who called himself God made a pained expression as he heard my question and wondered on how to answer it. ¡°Well, you see about that. It was partly my fault that you died. You see, I like to sometimes be among mortals and have fun down there. This time, I was having a drinking competition with a random passerby and I was boasting of all my achievements that I managed to do since the beginning of humanity. He didn¡¯t believe what I did to the Tower of Babel and betted that I couldn¡¯t do the same to the next person who walked by and that person just happened to be you.¡± This time I kicked him in the balls. The old man scrunched over and was having difficulty breathing. I didn¡¯t stop there and I repeatedly kicked him in the balls. ¡°ONLY PARTLY??!!¡± I was fuming mad that the reason I died was due to a stupid bet he made while he was drunk. ¡°Stop! At least you didn¡¯t suffer since you were instantly killed by the lightning I called down!¡± No wonder I didn¡¯t remember anything. I literally died before I realized what was happening to me. That just made me madder and this time I was preparing to put my body weight on his balls and step on them. ¡°Wait! Wait! I can give you another life as an apology!¡± He hurriedly said this as he was desperately trying to move my foot off his balls. ¡°You mean you¡¯ll send me back in time to prevent this bullshit?¡± ¡°Nope, can¡¯t do that. That¡¯s against the rules.¡± ¡°Then what the hell do you mean?!¡± I gave another kick to his balls as he rolled around grasping his gonads. ¡°I mean I can give you another life in another world!¡± The old man said this as he finally stopped rolling around after several minutes. ¡°Can¡¯t you just send me back to this world?¡± ¡°Can¡¯t do that either. All souls that die must be sent to a different world instead of the same world.¡± ¡°You know, for a being calling itself God, you¡¯re surprisingly limited.¡± ¡°I have to have these limitations on myself or else I don¡¯t know what I will do.¡± A sad expression was suddenly on the old man¡¯s face as his eyes looked distant. Seeing that expression, most of my rage was quelled. He must have his own circumstances, too. Don¡¯t get me wrong. I¡¯m still mad as hell I died in a stupid way like that. ¡°Look. As an apology, I¡¯ll let you go to that world with any cheat you like.¡± The old man said as the sad expression left his face and was replaced by a happy one. ¡°Anything?¡± ¡°Yes, anything. It¡¯s the least I could do after I messed up things this badly.¡± I took a deep sigh and thought about what power I wanted. I¡¯ve been into superheroes ever since I was young and I still collect comics to this day. I¡¯m also into anime and manga and they were a growing part of my collection in my room. As I¡¯ve thought about their powers, I realized that none of them suited me. Sure they had cool powers but what I wanted was something absolute. Then I started thinking about the characters I play in my tabletop games and their abilities. No good¡­Their abilities are worse than superheroes or anime/manga characters. All I remember is how badly I wished to change the outcome of my rolls. That¡¯s it! As soon as I thought about somehow changing dice rolls, I knew what power I wanted to ask for. ¡°Then I want the power to manipulate causality while being outside of it.¡± ¡°FUCK YOU NO!!!¡± He said as he vehemently denied me. I met an old man - Part Two Prologue - Part Two ¡°What?! Why?!¡± I asked as he furiously nodded his head and crossed his arms into an x. ¡°What do you mean why?! That¡¯s one of the most bullshit powers that can ever exist!¡± ¡°But you said anything!¡± ¡°Just because I said anything doesn¡¯t mean you can ask for the power to change causality on a whim!¡± ¡°That¡¯s not what anything means. Anything-used to refer to a thing, no matter what.¡± If you¡¯re asking why I strictly know the definition of anything¡­I made that argument a lot around my parents. They learned to be extremely careful with their word choice. ¡°Ok. Let me put it this way. Fuck pun-pun. There.¡± ¡°What do you mean there?! That literally doesn¡¯t tell me anything! And how the hell do you know about pun-pun anyway?!¡± ¡°I played a lot of table tops. Anyway, with my restrictions, you would be more powerful than me! A god! THE God! So fuck you.¡± ¡°Ok. So what can I possibly do to make you agree with it?¡± ¡°Not gonna happen. No way. Nothing you say will make me change my mind. Think of another power.¡± ¡°Fine then. I want the power to rip anyone¡¯s balls off.¡± ¡°Sure. In a bit¡­wait¡­WHAT?!¡± A light enveloped me and I felt power flowing through my body. ¡°Too late.¡± I reached my right hand out towards the old man¡¯s groin. ¡°Wait! Stop! No! Not my balls!¡± His feet were planted in the ground and his back was bent but his pelvis was thrusting out with his hands on his groin to prevent his balls from flying to me. ¡°Then let¡¯s see how you handle this!¡± The old man tilted his head to look at me and raised his left arm while his right was still on his groin. A hole opened up beneath me that I didn¡¯t notice as I was too focused on the old man. ¡°See ya! Hope you have a nice life in another world!¡± ¡°I¡¯ll be back!¡± I said that as I noticed the hole beneath me and the world that was sticking out of that hole. As soon as I was completely out of sight, the hole closed up and the old man let out a sigh of relief. ¡­. ¡°Phew. That was the most rude and dangerous young man I¡¯ve ever met. Thought I would have lost my jewels before that was all over with.¡± Then again, that was probably the most fun he had in a while. It was the first time that he had someone so disrespectful to him. Usually, people would only be servile to him, cower in fear, or pretend that he never existed even if he was right in front of them. Having someone that didn¡¯t do those things was a refreshing change of pace. ¡°Hmm. I might be a little sad to see him go. The only other chance I¡¯ll get to see him is when he died in that world after all.¡± In that moment, another smaller hole opened up from the floor and the old man felt an immense force push him down to the floor. ¡°I regret everything I just said.¡± He slid across the floor to where the small hole was and his junk was caught in the hole. This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.¡°I said I would be back!¡± My voice came through the hole and reached him on the other side. ¡°WHAT? HOW?!¡± ¡°Anyone-any person or people. If I can¡¯t still rip your balls off because you¡¯re in another dimension, that¡¯s defeating the purpose of saying anyone.¡± The tugging force was getting ever stronger on his groin. ¡°Feel like talking now?¡± ¡°YES! YES! I¡¯ll give you your damn power so just stop!¡± I stopped my power and the next thing I knew I was right in front of him inside the dimension and not the world that I was dropped down into. ¡°The thing I hate the most is people taking back their promises.¡± I had a frown as I remembered my parents while I was growing up before they learned they needed to be careful with their words around me. It wasn¡¯t just my parents. I had a dislike of everyone who didn¡¯t hold their word with me. Seriously, if you need to do something else, then tell me BEFOREHAND instead of the DAY OF. Fuck college acquaintances. The old man got himself up and tidied up his clothes that were now a mess. ¡°So where do we start?¡± ¡°If you want godlike powers, you better accept the restrictions that come with them.¡± The old man said with an unpleased face. ¡°That¡¯s acceptable. What kind of restrictions you¡¯re talking about?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll give you access to an appraisal skill along with your causality magic that will make an approximation of your current strength in the form of levels from 1-100.¡± ¡°Like a game?¡± ¡°Yea. Like a game. Each 10 levels you get will raise your proficiency with causality magic until level 100 where it will be maxed.¡± ¡°Pretty straightforward.¡± It was pretty much along the lines I was thinking of. His face took a serious turn as he said the next line. ¡°Beware though. Until you hit level 100, you are still within causality so you might accidentally erase yourself from existence.¡± ¡°So don¡¯t fuck around too much. Got it.¡± ¡°I¡¯m saying to not fuck around at all. You might trigger a butterfly effect or erase the flow of history in another. Its certainly a power that will destroy you if you do not treat it with proper respect and care.¡± ¡°Coming from the drunk bastard who killed me because of a bet.¡± ¡°Urgh.¡± His face was fallen as he had nothing to respond to that. ¡°I get the gist of it. Anything else I should know before you drop me off in my new world?¡± ¡°Yea. It¡¯s really, really, REALLY hard for humans to gain strength in this world.¡± ¡°How hard?¡± ¡°You¡¯ll find out in a bit.¡± He said as his face turned into a huge grin. Another hole opened up beneath me as he said that. ¡°By the way, one of the restrictions that I have is that I can¡¯t grant the same power twice. Have fun dying~¡± ¡°YOU FUCKING OLD BASTARDDDDD!!!¡± The last sight I had of this white world was the disgusting smile he put on as I was whisked away. Life or death...or shit Late late late update Totally not satisfied with the chapter Extreme draft version (Its even more of a draft than the other chapters) Mixed feelings about this chapter God I need an editor.... Onto the chapter.... I didn¡¯t know how long I was out for before I woke up. There were nothing but trees around. ¡°Am I in a forest?¡± The humidity is stupidly high. A bunch of insects are chirping. I could see some birds in the treetops. ¡°Yep. In a forest. That fucking old man.¡± I have no idea where I am. I have absolutely no clue as to what world I was dropped in. I don¡¯t have any of the common sense that the people of this world have. I¡¯m not even sure if they speak the same language as I do. In other words, he dropped me off somewhere with no ways to fend for myself or any of the knowledge required to survive. That fucking bastard. Suddenly, the noise around me stopped. ¡°Hmm? It got quiet all of a sudden.¡± The earth shook right after I said this and I saw some trees falling behind me. Welp. Time to run. I started to run in the opposite direction. These trees are HUGE. I heard from a friend that full grown trees can weigh a couple of tons. These trees are so high that they blocked the sun from coming through and I could only see a little bit of light peeking through. Something that can take down those trees when they¡¯re still rooted? Yea. I¡¯m definitely running away. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. Oh my god. More trees are starting to come down. The frequency of the trees coming down started to increase and it sounded like they were coming closer to me. I picked up the pace and started to run as if my life was on the line. After some time, the vibrations from the trees falling down started to become intense and I looked behind me against my better judgement. A spider. A giant big black spider with 8 legs and 8 eyes. I could see its fangs and all the hairs on its legs. I started to scream like a little girl. Man, I¡¯m scared of spiders back on Earth. How do you expect me to keep calm when it¡¯s a spider magnified by a 1000 times? How clich¨¦ is what I would have thought if I wasn¡¯t being chased down as food. I started to zigzag through the trees as it got closer to me. The more trees in its way the better as it needed time to take them down. Still though, I was starting to run out of stamina and if I slowed down even a little bit it would have caught me. After a little more of running for my life, I noticed light on the other side of the trees. In an open plain, I would have no chance of getting away from the spider but I wasn¡¯t thinking at the time and just wanted to get away. Giving it my last spurt of strength, I began running with all my might towards that light on the other side. What awaited me at the end when I stepped out toward the light was a canyon. I was at the edge with nowhere to run to with the spider coming ever closer. Before even having the chance to move to a different spot, the spider came out and crashed into me. I don¡¯t why it did that but it probably didn¡¯t see me with all the foliage in the way. We both fell into the canyon. As I fell, I thought ¡®So this is how I¡¯m going to die. Falling 400 ft onto the ground with a giant spider trying to kill me.¡¯ The ground came closer with each passing second as I was somehow on top of the spider. I don¡¯t know if the spider will die from this drop but even if I somehow survive the spider probably will and eat me. I swear I¡¯m going to get back at the old man the next time I see him. ¡®Sniff sniff¡¯ ¡°Huh? Whats that smell?¡± In the last few seconds before colliding with the ground, I noticed a god awful smell. Smelling something this awful before I died was not how I wanted things to end. As we hit the ground, I finally noticed what it was. ¡°OH MY GOD! ITS SHIT!¡± I didn¡¯t find this out until later but apparently there¡¯s a group of monsters that makes it nest near the canyon and they all fill the canyon with their shit. From up above, the shit looked like ground. The smell was probably being carried away by the wind in the crevasse so I didn¡¯t notice the smell until I got closer. This is probably the most disgusting and awful thing that has ever happened to me. ¡°Gwarr.¡± While I was stupefied that I was swimming in shit, the spider let out a cry of anguish besides me. I noticed that it was struggling to stay upright. The spider probably can¡¯t swim in shit. Even while struggling, it still tried to kill me. The spider swung one of its legs at me and I swerved as fast as I could in liquefied shit. The leg pierced the wall behind me and made a large crater. In the wall. Holy shit. If I was hit even once by that spider, you would have to find me while carrying a plastic bag to pick up all the pieces. ¡°I¡¯m not going to die like this!¡± Fight or Flight: Fight mode activated. If there¡¯s any way to survive this, it had to be now while the spider couldn¡¯t move properly due to the shit. I swam (eww) to the spider while at the same time grabbing a handful of shit. I somehow have to make it flip onto its back since it can¡¯t swim. The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.As I got closer, the spider tried to stab me with one of its legs, again. With its movements slowed, I managed to avoid them as I was able to throw the fistful of shit onto its eyes. It roared as the shit got into its eyes and started to wail about. Taking this chance, I managed to get close to the spider and managed to give a push. The spider was already struggling to stay upright and one of its legs that it was using to pivot itself was gone trying to attack me. The spider fell on its side as it was flailing about wildly. In all that flailing, the spider managed to flip onto its back and was slowly sinking into the shit. ¡°DIE!¡± I grabbed as much shit as I could and started to stuff it down the spider¡¯s mouth. Dear lord, what am I doing? ¡°SUFFOCATE YOU ASSHOLE!¡± Oh. That¡¯s what I¡¯m doing. After many minutes of trying to stuff as much shit as I could down it¡¯s throat, the spider finally stopped moving. Is it¡­is it dead? I suddenly felt power flowing through me as I recovered all my stamina. The near exhaustion I was feeling earlier felt like a joke. Was this a level up? ¡°Status!¡± Nothing happened. Of course he wouldn¡¯t let me check my levels once I got down here. Wait. ¡°Get appraisal skill!¡± Knowledge suddenly flowed into my head and suddenly I knew how to use appraisal. ¡°Status!¡± This time a window popped up. Name: Edward Reed Level: 21 Skills: Causality Manipulation Lvl 2 Appraisal Lvl Novice Description: Covered in shit. Do you¡­do you actually enjoy being covered in shit? ¡®No other stats can be shown due to Appraisal¡¯s low skill level¡¯ ¡°SHUT UP. ITS NOT LIKE I ASKED TO BE COVERED IN SHIT!¡± Great. I got a status window that likes to talk back. Still though, I¡¯m level 21 so my ability should be level 2. Level 21?! Wait, what was the spider¡¯s level? ¡°Check status!¡± Name: Dead gigantic Spider Level: 54 Description: A dead gigantic spider that was drowned in shit. What a way to go¡­. ¡®No other stats can be shown due to Appraisal¡¯s low skill level¡¯ ¡°FUCKING OLD BASTARD! THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU, YOUR BALLS ARE GONE!¡± ¡°Get flying skill!¡± The knowledge of a fly spell was put into my head. Unfortunately, from the knowledge that was put into my head, I knew the fly spell wasn¡¯t at a practical level for me to use it to fly out of a 400 ft canyon. An idea popped into my head. ¡°Raise flying skill level to max!¡± A window popped up. Error: The skill currently cannot be raised past level 2. Please raise causality manipulation or train the skill yourself to raise it past level 2. Fuck. Flying isn¡¯t practical until at least level 4 from the knowledge I¡¯ve gotten. There¡¯s no way it can fly me out of here. ¡°Get climbing skill level 2!¡± Alright, from the knowledge I¡¯ve gotten from this skill, I should be able to get out of this canyon by nightfall. When nightfall came, I managed to get out of the canyon. Apparently, the skill doesn¡¯t factor in fatigue and just says when you should be able to get out by depending on current condition. By the time I managed to get up to the top, I was exhausted and panting for breath. ¡°Huff. Huff. I *huff* have *huff* no idea where the next *huff* town is *huff*.¡± I took that time to rest for a couple of minutes and get my breath. During this time I thought of something. ¡°Get map skill level 2!¡± ¡°Map!¡± A window displaying a map was shown to me and I saw that the next town over was 15 miles south. ¡°I¡¯ve been here less than a day and I already hate my new life.¡± Sulking, I got up and started to walk towards the direction of the town. Turns out no other monster attacked me because of the smell I had on me. ¡­.. Old man¡¯s POV When I dropped the young man towards his new world, I fully expected him to be back within a couple of minutes. The world I dropped him into was a harsh world where all the races had to band together to survive, albeit barely. It was no exaggeration to say they were on a collision course towards extinction if a couple of wrong moves were made. The place I dropped him into was often called the Forest of No Return by the inhabitants of that world since no one has ever came out alive from there. 5 minutes 10 minutes 30 minutes 4 hours passed¡­. ¡°WHAT THE HELL IS TAKING SO LONG!?¡± I opened up a screen showing me his location. I saw a brown creature climbing out of a crevasse and taking a rest. Wait. That¡¯s the young man. ¡°Status of Edward Reed!¡± Name: Edward Reed Description: Covered in shit ¡°?¡± What the hell did he do to get covered in shit? It can¡¯t have been more than half a day. Level: 21 He¡¯s level 21. ¡°WAIT!? HE¡¯S LEVEL 21?! FUCK!!!¡± I might have unleashed a terrible monster upon that world¡­.