《From a Neet, To The Emperor's Wife, To.....Eh, The Demon Overlord?!》 1. I Hate You, Mum! ¡°Isn¡¯t it about time you go search for a job?¡± Is a question I¡¯ve been asked for the last......17 years? I don¡¯t know, I¡¯ve already lost count. Or rather, I totally forgot how to count. Well, I¡¯m 29......and They started telling me to find work at the age of 15...... Un, 14 years now. Although I say I am 29 of age, my appearance is actually that of a 15 years old. With silky, red long hair; long eyelashes and jet black eyes. The hair is one thing, but the black eyes are called a curse in where I live. And thus, I haven¡¯t left my room for 14 years. My room is always dim, but very clean. I make sure that it¡¯s super clean. Although I say that my eyes are a curse, my parents think nothing of it. My mum at least. I don¡¯t know anything about ¡®dad¡¯. Mum comes in every morning, and cleans my room when I am too lazy to do it myself; which is pretty rare. She even comes in just to check if there is any dust, and lectures me at any given moment to leave my room and get a job. Although I am a neet. Although I am a shut-in. Although I am a bad child. She still supports her 29 years old child. ''As expected of a mother''....doesn¡¯t even cut it. It shows just how much she cares about me. I¡¯m sorry mum, but with my looks....I can¡¯t get a job even if I wanted to. Oh well, that trust and faith went all down the drain and out of the system on a morning... ¡°Hey, Kai! come out of your room right this instant!!¡± For the first time in over 14 years, my mum called me to leave my room. She never ordered me to leave before. I mean, she did ask if I could get a job....but she never said I should leave the room this directly. My mum never forced me to do anything at all. ¡°.............? Why!?¡± ¡°Just hurry up and come! We are inside the house, so isn¡¯t it fine to leave that dirty room for once!?¡± It¡¯s not dirty if you come for a health inspection every morning! ¡°Just do it!¡± ¡°.........And what if I don¡¯t want to?¡± ¡°Then I¡¯m coming right now, and burning all of your video games.¡± Eh, you mean my treasured crystal gear¡¯s video games! Oh, let me explain. Crystal gear is the cutting edge technology that let¡¯s you not only view moving images, it let¡¯s you interfere with them! And as such, it became a huge boom among children and adults alike. So much that they produce at least over ten games every month. ¡°And yet.........!¡± Like hell! You have no idea the pains I had to get my hands on those games!! I had......I had to walk outside!!! I, the first time I wanted to get a game, I asked my mum if she could just run to the store and get me the game if possible. Even though I gave her money for two games, and only requested one; she brought me the wrong game. Not only that, she bought it for the wrong crystal gear system! You have no idea how much of a waste of money that was. I had to go out of my way to buy that crystal gear in order to play those games that she bought after all. In disguise in the middle of the night. Thank god those stores are open around the clock. ¡°I¡¯m coming to burn them right now!¡± ¡°Oh shit, wait! wait wait waiiit!! I¡¯m coming out, I¡¯m coming out!! Alright!?¡± Dammit, and I just woke up! Well whatever. I quickly got out of bed, and walked toward a black curtain hang in the middle of the room. This thick-blanket-for-a curtain is light proof. This way, no evil light would come inside my holy room. Now then, I slowly slid through the curtain and moved toward the door that was right in front of the black curtain. It¡¯s a reinforced steel door. I slowly opened the door with a bit of difficulties, and dazzling light escaped from the slowly widening gap of the door. I closed my eyes in fright and surprise. It¡¯s been many years since my eyes has seen light. Oh well. For those wondering ¡®Exactly how did your mum hear you over that steel door?!¡¯ Let me tell you. Nay, let me bestow that information upon you ignorant savages. .........I¡¯m sorry. So anyhow, even though the door has steel reinforcement, the ground itself is wood. The wood is light yet sturdy. It¡¯s been grown with the blessing of the wood elves after all. It¡¯s pretty expensive yo. After taking a few minutes of mum¡¯s ¡®friendly¡¯ shouting and my eyes adjusting to the view that have, for the first time in many years, greeted me while light is flickering around it. After all, I did sneak around outside. At night. Mum doesn¡¯t need to know that. I know that she¡¯ll insist in me getting a job as soon as she finds out...... Ugh, I feel a juice of guilt in coming up from my abdomen. Great, this is why I hate the world while it¡¯s still morning.... Night is great. Morning sucks. I feel like throwing up already. Should I return back to my room? Alright, let¡¯s do that. ¡°Mum, I¡¯m sorry.....but I can¡¯t get out of the room.¡± While shouting as such, I began to slowly close back the door; shutting myself within my Eden. Who needs something like a life. Who needs something like light. I can say for sure, it can eat itself for all I care. I¡¯m sorry mum, I¡¯m sorry! I just can¡¯t do it. Let us all be happy and glad that I made it to the point of even opening the door. Although the reason why you called me interests me, it¡¯s still not intriguing enough for me to face the light of the world. Did I seriously just think of going out? Un, it must be that I¡¯m very sleepy. It got to be it. Like hell I¡¯ll be breaking my streak as a shut-in. Oh? I-I wonder....w-why can¡¯t I close the door? This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.Even though I¡¯m pushing......! L-looking closely....i-isn¡¯t that..... ¡°Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!? W-what the hell!??!?!?!¡± ¡°I....Huff....Huff....! I, I told you.......T-that....Hufff.........!¡± ¡°Oh my god mum! What the hell?! Take a deep breath! shit, you scared the hell out of me with that face of yours!¡± Her usually beautiful face, in which case was that of a woman in her late 40s; was strained to the end trying to catch her breath as she painstakingly trying to keep the door from closing. Her bright red eyes glared right through my soul. Her red, short hair fluttered throughout her attempt at catching some air. ¡°You.....are coming down with me!¡± ¡°M-mum....umm, that sounds like you¡¯re about to die and kill me with you.....¡± ¡°...Don¡¯t worry, Kai. You¡¯re the only one who¡¯s going to die.¡± ¡°Eh, if you say that with the face you¡¯re currently making...¡± It looks like a ghost is about to take me to the underworld! ¡°Oh, and if you don¡¯t follow me downstairs......I¡¯ll be crushing all of those games you got it!?¡± ¡°...........................................I¡¯m coming.¡± Dammit, holding hostages isn¡¯t fair! ¡°Ahh....wait a second, why do you even want me to go downstairs?¡± Now that she caught her breath, the light danced around her red hair. She looked pretty young for a woman in her late 40s. Like really pretty. She could easily be mistaken as a woman in her late 20s. When I asked my mum, she said something about it running in the family. The how we look so young. Oh right, contrary to popular belief....elves don¡¯t have a long lifespan. Although, they do look pretty young. This is all knowledge from books though, since I haven¡¯t met any live subject. They all look young, but their lifespan is the same as humans. For example, most of them die while they look like that they¡¯re in their twenties yet their actual age is somewhere along the lines of 60 or 70. Oops, I¡¯m going into denial.... ¡°.....And that¡¯s why I need you to hurry up down stairs!¡± ¡°......Eh? Ah.....umm.....okay.¡± ¡°Oh right, are you sure you want to go downstairs in your pajamas?¡± I look down, and it¡¯s the blue pajamas my mum bought me for my birthday a few weeks ago. Is something wrong with this? I mean, I¡¯m pretty sure I¡¯m not going to meet anyone..... Well, isn¡¯t it fine? ¡°.............Yup.¡± And with that, she grabbed my hand and led me downstairs. In the end, she led me to the living room. It¡¯s the biggest room in the small, two story house. The room looked completely different than i remember. The place is now filled with expensive looking paintings, nothing of the sorts existed fourteen years ago. The couches are all high-class in softness, something I doubt we can afford. And not to mention, the man sitting within the said couch. I am made to sit directly in front of him. What kind of situation is this? Why is this person calmly sipping tea? What the hell happened to the room? Ahh.... My jaw lost all its power as I realized what she meant earlier by her ¡®are you sure you¡¯re going down stairs wearing that pajamas?¡¯ Is this guy a noble?! I mean, isn¡¯t that the only possible reason that this guy is sitting in an expensive couch, in a room filled with expensive paintings and sipping expensive tea from an expensive tableware?! E-eh, it can¡¯t be.... T-this feeling..... Eh, eh, eh?! A-am I having an arranged marriage with this noble man!? Ahhhhhh, i-i-i-it can¡¯t be......I am not worthy of being a wife for anyone.....c-can it be.....a-am I being sold as a slave?! Or even worse, as a concubine?! God dammit mother, what¡¯s with this silence!!! I quickly shot up a questioning glare at mum, who was sitting upright. She glanced back, and smiled. What¡¯s with that gentle smile?! Are you alright??!?!!? Selling your only chiiild?!?!?!? C-can it be.....e-eh, a-am I....a burden.......? D-dammit, I can¡¯t criticize you anymore you hag of a mother! I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯ll find work!!! Don¡¯t sell meeeee~!!!! ¡°Now then.¡± Eh, after the old with the whites in his hair almost appearing put down his teacup, and then took a deep stare at me. Or rather, he looked at my body. Oi, old man! You look to be in your forties! And with that coat full of badges and expensive suit under that.......yup, this guy is without a doubt a noble. And yet, why do you want me?! Stop licking me with your eyes! ¡°Fumu. She is exactly what we need.¡± Oi, stop saying that while looking at mum right after checking me out! You homo! Gay! ¡°That white skin that looks the exact reincarnation of snow, the sharp yet charming black pupils! the flame hair that couldn¡¯t be compared to any silk! And her small butt!! Really, if she only packed in the breast department, she would¡¯ve been perfect.¡± Eh, but isn¡¯t black eyes something that only the cursed would have?! H-hold on.... ¡°..............?! Wha--- wait a second, I¡¯m a gu---------!¡± ¡°Yes, but of course! She is my prided daughter after all!¡± Ehh~ You liar! .................Wait wait wait wait a second, this isn¡¯t the time for that! You lying hag! I¡¯m a guy! Like hell you¡¯ll be selling me as a sex slave to an old man!!!! ¡°Now then, young lady. How about it, would you consider becoming the new crowned Emperor Chris the fourteenth¡¯s first wife?¡± The old man bowed to me. ¡°E-eh......? E-EHHHHH...........!??!?!?!?!!¡± 2. Keep Your Promises! My mother took the handle of the conversation while I sat through in a daze. Me? As a wife? To a person that I don¡¯t even know? And not any person, but the emperor!? Is he gay!? I mean, he has a fancy name such ¡®Chris the fourteenth¡¯ and all. I wonder what happened to the previous emperor. He was such a kind old man--or so I¡¯ve been told. I¡¯ve seen him on a few occasions, and he did indeed look like a kind old man with a long white beard and a fat belly. He always had a smile on his face. At the times I¡¯ve seen him at least. Oh right, right. I currently live in the Empire of Crystals, Kryven. Although most simply call it as the ¡®empire¡¯. I mean, this empire has conquered one fourth of the world. As far as I remember, we control the north while the demons control the south. Demi-humans control the west while the divine beings control the east. Us, the Empire of Crystals, controls all of the northern continent---as in we¡¯re the only pure human country. The demons up in the south are running rampart with no order among them at all; living by the law of the survival of the strongest. As for the Demi-humans, they are treated as the lowest beings of intellect; and yet, they control the continent of the west. Their position is even lower than that of the demons though. Us humans are fearful of the demons, while we treat the Demi-humans as nothing but slaves--cursed by the gods for their mixed blood of both human and demon. As for the divine beings...well, they¡¯re angels. They are the strongest race and yet the most peaceful. The church uses them as a medium to talk with the gods, and rather consider them as nothing but holy. Killing an angel is a huge offense to the church--that is, if you can even lay a scratch on them. Well then, that goes as far as my limited, outdated knowledge can go. Now, some of you might be asking ¡®why are you explaining this while your mother is talking about your gay marriage?!¡¯ Well, I need to think of something to blow off steam. Some think of math, others of food.....and I of history. ¡°Well then~¡± Oh? The old man put his hands on his knees, and slowly started getting up. He shot me a glance and then revealed a gentle smile. ¡°I shall expect an answer by tomorrow¡¯s morning. I must return to the capital in two days after all~¡± ¡°..........¡± ¡°Well then, Archduke Audrey. I wish you the best of journey. Until tomorrow.¡± ¡°.............?!¡± ¡°Ohoho~ Until tomorrow~¡± That was....well, he unexpectedly turned out to be a fun old man? Aside from that, how the hell does my mum know an archduke!? No wonder he came asking for my hand for the emperor! There goes my hope that it¡¯s a simple trick to get me out of my room!! Dammit! Just what happened in the last fourteen years?!?!?! O-oh, here comes mum! ¡°Mum! what¡¯s the meaning of this!?¡± ¡°What do you mean~ I¡¯m simply guiding my dear daughter¡¯s hands to the future~ I had it with you holing up in that dark room~¡± ¡°What do you mean by that!? If you wanted me to get a job, then just say so and I would have!¡± ¡°But haven¡¯t I been asking you that every morning? It¡¯s already been fourteen years, Kai.¡± ¡°G-guh....! I-I know....b-but, why do I have to marry.....a man.......?¡± ¡°Because~¡± And with an opening, she closed in on me and gave me a gentle hug. ¡°~You¡¯re my own blood and flesh. I¡¯m too tired to see you cry yourself to sleep--too tired indeed. Look at the bright side, that man didn¡¯t react to your eyes....right? That is proof enough that your eyes are not the same curse that has been feared for the last fourteen years. Go out and experience the world--is what I want to say....¡± ¡°You¡¯re cruel....mother. Selling out your only........son.......as a women.¡± ¡°Ahaha~ A women or a man, what¡¯s the difference?¡± ¡°A huge one!.........Actually, how about I don¡¯t leave my room from now on? I¡¯ll lock myself in........!¡± I quickly put both my hands between us, and started pushing with all my might. But........Still........I couldn¡¯t free myself from my mother. ¡°What the hell is up with your strength!?¡± This happened earlier as well--she was able to run from the living room, up the stairs and stopping my door from closing in a few seconds. My mother shouldn¡¯t be able to do that. ¡°Hmm, you should exercise more. You can¡¯t even free yourself from your mother¡¯s hug~!¡± Oh, I see... Un, indeed, fourteen years of simple sleep, eat and play video games ruined my physical condition.... Yup. ¡°Well then, Kai. I know you¡¯re wondering about what happened the last time you left your room...exactly why do we have expensive ware, couches and the like. Come, sit and your mother will explain everything!¡± As she said that, she held my hand and sat me back in the couch. Un, she doesn¡¯t need to know that I¡¯m used to escaping from my room via the window to buy games. She sat directly next to me, her warm hand still holding to my own. ¡°You see, mother has been working hard in those long years...¡± And then, she began explaining to me what the hell happened to her after I shut myself in my room, and how all of that led to this point.
It seems mum had it hard as well. Iya, I think she had it harder than I did. Well, my mother works as a medic in the health center of the small town of Amaki we¡¯re currently living in. It¡¯s a normal sized town with only a small healing center right next to the town hall. The health center is full of healers--magicians who specialize in healing skills. My mum is one of those healers. On a particular, cold evening......a carriage met its cursed fate. My mother was on her way home when she saw the said carriage on the way back home, and ran toward it. In it were three dead bodies. A male who looked to the coach driver and two-female and male-bodies who wore exotic clothes and accessories. On a closer inspection, my mother recognized the two as the crown prince and his wife. Although.....for those three, it was already too late. The horses were also found dead; burned to a crisp. My mum guessed that this was without a doubt an assassination and decided to not get involved in the matter whatsoever. My mother was no saint, so she turned her back on the incident and began making her way home. But that¡¯s when she heard a loud cry, a cry of that of a child. She decided to ignore the child and move on....but every time she took a step forward, the child¡¯s cries grew louder. She then gave up and decided to go with it. She didn¡¯t care if she was going to be framed for the assassination, killed for getting involved or sent to jail under suspicion...a child¡¯s cry would ache any mother¡¯s heart. You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.She ran back to the carriage, looked for the child......only to find him under the woman¡¯s body. Without a doubt, his mother protect its baby with her own life. The child looked to be in a serious condition, and my mother began casting her best healing incantations in order to ease the child¡¯s misery. As soon as the child¡¯s cries began to ease, my mum ran back toward the health center to get some proper treatment from the higher ranking healers. And with that, the child¡¯s life was saved. The very next day, an old man showed up to pick up the child--who truly turned out to be the crown prince¡¯s only son, Chris..who was at the time only five years old. The old man, Archduke Audrey, decided to reward my mother¡¯s so called emergency treatment. He got her an instate in the capital, and a big one at that. She was then offered the title of a small noble, but she declined. She rent the estate given to her almost immediately to a noble household, and the money began to flow in. Because she began to meet the new crowned prince, Chris and his new caretaker, the Archduke; she was forced to remodel the house to that, that can satisfy those two¡¯s status. Chris wanted to meet my mother, who was his savior--and began to look up to her as his own mother. And that same man wanted to repay his savior in his own way, and thus took my hand. Or so she said. That was way too heavy for me........just how the hell have I been living in ignorance all this time? This reminded me that the world is way too far and wide. ¡°Indeed, I can understand where this guy is coming from....But what about my own feelings?! For your information, I¡¯m straight!¡± ¡°Fufufu~ That has nothing to do with it~ The emperor decided to marry my own daughter and I accepted~ You have to go whether you like it or not~¡± ¡°I refuse!¡± ¡°Hrm~ Is that so....¡± Yes, I refuse! And I shall show mum my stand on the matter. I¡¯m not homo! I¡¯m a man! No matter how I look like, as long as I have a willy.....I¡¯m a man!!! ¡°I¡¯m a man mother, I will not mar-----E-eh..........?¡± J-just before I could re...act, mum t...ook ou..t a ne...edl...e a....n.....d..............................................
¡°MUM!¡± I shot straight up looked for mum, having absaloutly no idea why I¡¯m calling her right after waking up. .................................................... Oh right, it just came to me. I had this weird dream that Mum decided that I¡¯m having a gay marriage with the emperor.....What did I eat before going to bed to have a dream that crazy? Now then, I should probably get up and clean before mum gets here. Who knows what she¡¯ll say if my room is dirty. ¡°Good morning~¡± Ahh, now that you mention it....isn¡¯t my room shaking? Is an earthquake happening right now? ..............Wait a second................. ¡°WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?¡± What the hell, why am I wearing a red, frilly dress!? Looking again, this isn¡¯t my room! Isn¡¯t this a carriage?! ¡°Ahaha~ Well, good morning miss. It¡¯s surprising to see you this energetic right after waking up~ Even more so when we tried to wake you up earlier with no response~¡± ¡°Eh? Ahh......isn¡¯t this the archduke from earlier.......?¡± ¡°Earlier? Hahaha~ Would you rather continue your nap, young miss? After all, we met yesterday and not ¡®earlier¡¯~¡± Ahh...wait wait, let me try to remember... Last thing that happened....my mum was explaining how this all happened, I still refused her request and....she took out a needle and......wait a minute, did she drug me?! I quickly waved my hand to decline the old man¡¯s offer, in which he only revealed a wry smile. This isn¡¯t your time, Old man! Now then, how the hell did she get a needle....? They¡¯re a special emergency equipment used when there is a magic crisis...... Not only that, she even got her hands on a sleeping drug...... I quickly shot the old man a glare, in which his wry smile grew deeper. Alright, let¡¯s ruin it for mum. ¡°Hey, old man.......did you know that I¡¯m actually a guy?¡± The old man opened his eyes in surprise, and then let out an irritating laugh. ¡°Fuhahaha!¡± ¡°W-what¡¯s there to laugh at.....?¡± ¡°Of course I knew!¡± ¡°Then if you knew, why did you accept!¡± ¡°But of course, because you look like a girl~¡± Ehhhh~!? ¡°What does that have to do with anything!?¡± ¡°Oh?¡± The old man raised an eyebrow and rested one of his hands on his chin. ¡°Could it be.....didn¡¯t Madam Olivia explain it to you.......?¡± ¡°Mum?¡± And then, he starting nodding over and over, as if he came to his own conclusion. Seriously man, I really think you¡¯re having a misunderstanding right now! Please explain what the hell is happening!! ¡°Now now, let¡¯s forget about it all! It seems like you¡¯re a person who doesn¡¯t care about rank, so why not enjoy a peaceful, friendly match of chess?¡± What do you mean by that?! Explain you bastard, explain!! Ranks?! I don¡¯t give a shit! Whether you¡¯re the highest rank of a noble or not doesn¡¯t matter!! I¡¯m not going to be marrying a man!!! ¡°................? When are you planning on explaining what¡¯s happening!?¡± ¡°Fuhahaha~ How about after you beat me in a game of chess?¡± ¡°...........Grrr..............You¡¯re not planning on telling me anything, are you?¡± ¡°Only if you beat me in chess~ Then I¡¯ll explain everything!¡± ----After 3 minutes---- ¡°Now then, old man. Tell me exactly what do you mean by that it¡¯s fine with me being a man!¡± ¡°..............Best two out of three?¡± ----After another 9 minutes---- ¡°Now!¡± ¡°......How can you be so good at chess........? Three out of five!¡± ----After another 20 minutes---- ¡°You¡¯re not planning on telling me, are you?¡± ¡°..................How can you beat me 6 times in a row?!¡± ¡°Don¡¯t snap at me, old man! tell me what¡¯s happening!!¡± ¡°Like hell I¡¯m telling someone who doesn¡¯t even know the word ¡®mercy¡¯ or ¡®going easy¡¯ in their book!¡± ¡°Don¡¯t snap back at me, old man!!!¡± Weren¡¯t you the archduke!? Keep your promises at least!!
Author note: wow, for something i wrote out of boredom to explode like this.... 27 followers and three stars. Haha, I hope i didn''t disappoint or will disappoint anyone ^^ 3. I Hate Strangers. It takes about half a day from town to the capital. It¡¯s a long ride. And within that long ride, I had to cope the fact that this place is tiny, people can see me and the fact that I¡¯m playing against a retard that doesn¡¯t even has the intention of telling me what¡¯s up with my situation. So! Because the old man was quite weak at chess, it gave me the necessary liberty to think quite deeply about my situation....coming up with a few scenarios. The first scenario is that this man has already given my mum an estate in the capital, correct? And that estate is so worthy that a noble is willing to not buy it, but rather rent it. Doesn¡¯t that mean that it¡¯s a proper, high nobility type of mansion? Then isn¡¯t that proof enough that the new crowned emperor wanted my mum to move in to the capital? Here¡¯s what I think.......he might have called me in to ¡®marry¡¯ me in order to force mum to move in to the capital. Iya, perhaps he might kill me in order to get rid of the ¡®obstacle¡¯ in his way to my mum¡¯s moving away.... .........Or perhaps he¡¯ll kill me because I am simply her child, and thus take her top priority? My thoughts are ugly, I¡¯ll give you that. But ugly thoughts are necessary for survival. Oh, there¡¯s another scenario that came to mind.... It¡¯s about the part where ¡®I need to look like a girl¡¯. I am a man and yet, they want me to look like a girl. Why? Isn¡¯t it because the emperor is a woman who looks like a man? That way, we can both keep our secrets? Because, yet again, we are both cross-dressing? If I remember correctly, the new emperor is an only child. The previous emperor did not have any siblings and only had a single child. In which case, he already passed away. In order to not create a rift between the nobles, in order to not create a turf war between the districts.....did they not need an emperor to grab a hold of their breaks? Now here is where my part comes into place. The nobles, presumably those who took the previous crown prince and the current emperor¡¯s father life....did they not know that the current emperor is a woman? If that is the case, then they¡¯ll put a condition on him to keep the throne. That is, to ¡®marry¡¯ a woman. If that is the case, then they¡¯ll need a woman to keep the emperor¡¯s secret....right? They can¡¯t take a shot and miss, they cannot take any chances--The nobles from the emperor¡¯s faction. There is where my part comes into place..... A man who looks exactly like a woman. I won¡¯t spill the emperor¡¯s secret, and the emperor won¡¯t spill mine. But here comes the problem......I¡¯m not a cross-dresser! Ehh, I mean I am kinda wearing the dress right now.....B-but I meant originally!!! Honestly speaking, the latter scenario is preferable... It means I¡¯ll be gaining the status of a high noble--even if it¡¯s only in name, it¡¯ll still mean I¡¯ll be living in a luxury~ Hehehehe~ All the crystal gear games I could get my hands on! Bring it on, emperor! I won¡¯t get in bed with your gay ass in it, understand?! I¡¯ll be living in my own room, playing on my own crystal gears while eating delicious food that I never even dreamed of having!! ¡°Why are you grinning so much, Miss?¡± ¡°N-none of your business! A-anyhow, when are you going to stop with the miss? I¡¯m a man!¡± ¡°I can¡¯t do that~ It¡¯ll compromise the plan after all~¡± ¡°And when are you planning on telling me about that plan?!¡± ¡°After you let me beat you in chess!¡± ¡°We¡¯ve already played over fourteen games!¡± ¡°I don¡¯t care~ I won¡¯t tell anything to a horrible person~¡± God dammit! Arrggghhh!!! Knock knock ¡°Master, we¡¯ve almost reached the capital.¡± The coach driver suddenly said, and the old man smiled from ear to ear. ¡°Fuhaha~! We¡¯re finally here! Hey miss, you¡¯ve never been to the capital, right?¡± ¡°Y-yes...¡± He quickly removed the curtain covering the window from his side, and signaled me to come forward. Umm....he won¡¯t try to sexual harass me, right.....? W-well, whatever! I quickly approached the window, in which case I ended up sitting near the old man. ¡°Wooaaah~!¡± Oh my god, those gigantic walls! Those walls are at least a few hundred meters in height! The crystal white walls enclosed the capital in what seems to be a circle shape, in which case....the crystal walls don¡¯t seem fragile at all. Because even from here, you can spot a few moving figures on top of the said walls. The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement. ¡°Magnificent, no? Well, it¡¯ll take about an hour until we reach the gate~ so please enjoy the view to my city as much as possible!¡± ¡°Hrm~ Why are you puffing your chest with pride? isn¡¯t this the emperor¡¯s capital?¡± Guah! The old man took a critical hit!! The old man then dropped his shoulders and continued ¡°W-what you¡¯re saying is true...but see, the empire is the whole continent, and the continent is simply way too vast for a single man to govern! S-so, us, the Archdukes, are all responsible for a single district....in which case, I am responsible for the capital and all the towns within its vicinity...including your town, Amaki~!¡± ¡°Is that so.¡± Not that I care. As we slowly got closer, I began to recognize that on top of the walls, several archers and cloaked men were walking, perhaps patrolling. You could also spot a cannon every now and then, but those weapons are heavy and pretty much useless compared to the firepower of magicians. And in every curve of the town, you could spot an observatory tower made of the same material as the walls. Perhaps those are used to signal the enemy¡¯s approach? Right now, I could only spot two. One on the left and another on the right. Perhaps there are two others opposite to them. Hrm~ That defense looks good but I can spot a few weaknesses in the walls..... The whole thing feels quite sturdy despite it looks, but the men on top of the walls look quite careless. If you time the thing right, you could easily take out the whole city just by breaking down the walls. The men really look like they¡¯re working on appearances only, not a single archer drew his bow in readiness of any unexpected situation. The robed men did not seem to have their staffs either, something absolutely necessary for long ranged spells. They¡¯re pretty much as useless as those cannons, a simple burden to the real veterans of war. Ahh~ I want to return to my own room.... I refuse to marry a man! I also refuse to stay with this dumb ass old man! But I can¡¯t seem to find any kind of baggage of mine inside the carriage--is it perhaps outside with the coach? It¡¯s my first time riding a carriage after all...so don¡¯t blame me for not knowing anything. I want to change clothes immediately! Like hell I¡¯m alright with wearing a frilly dress. ¡°Muuu~ Miss, why are you suddenly so aggressive? And you were so cute back in the house~ With everything you say had included the ¡®Eh!¡¯ within it~¡± ¡°Ahh! We¡¯re here.....¡± My legs began to quiver in fright. ¡°.........? Is something the matter, Miss?¡± ¡°N-no, nothing at all.¡± As I payed attention back to the window, I noticed that we have reached a crowded gate. The carriages that carried fruits, vegetables, table ware and many other merchandises began to make way for our own carriage, and we passed through without even an inspection. ¡°Hehe! Look, this is the authority of an Archduke! Don¡¯t go thinking that you¡¯re better than me simply because you beat me in chess a few times!¡± Ahh, I can¡¯t even pay much attention to you, old man.... As I began glancing at the strangers outside, they also glanced back toward us. Without a doubt, their stares were directed at me. Without a doubt, their stares were filled with fear and hate. ¡°.............!¡± The shaking of my legs began to move toward my hands, and soon toward my whole body. Shit, I ended up remembering something I shouldn¡¯t! Oh shit, it won¡¯t happen again it won¡¯t happen again! That was fourteen years ago, life changed. Look, isn¡¯t this Archduke proof enough?! It¡¯s exactly as mum said, the world has changed!! Shit shit shit shit, I can¡¯t stop the shaking of my legs. If I weren¡¯t inside this carriage, I would¡¯ve already fell down on my face... Dammit, it¡¯s fine! No one thinks anything, nothing would happen!! No one knows me here, and no one have heard of me! It¡¯s going to be alright, I¡¯ll probably be locked in the castle after all!! Oh no, oh no! The shaking began to take over my body, shit shit shit shit shit!!! ¡°Oi, Miss?!¡± I can see the Archduke¡¯s frantic expression as he looks at me..... It¡¯s happening again, no? Although I was able to somehow suppress it with mother around, and the fact that the Archduke turned out to be a kind old man....managed to make me suppress it for this long....... But then again, this is to be expected. I am still not good with strangers or crowded places. ¡°Miss--!?¡± And with that, I passed out. 4. Im Back Baby! Yay, a reboot! Yay me! I deleted the previous chapters. hehehe, those unhappy with it, c''mon, I''LL READ ALL OF Y''ALL COMMENTS P.S: Yes, the title is about the series itself and not really about the chapter...anyhow, yay me! P.P.S: Is it just me or the codes simply don''t work...?
¡°Mnnmm¡± I slowly rose from my slumber, as my eyes began to adjust to the light in the room. Hrm, were you somehow expecting me to go into flashes of the past in that dream? Dream on! My past is only going to be revealed when the time is right. That is, when I feel like itt~!! ...Ahem, I¡¯m sorry. What is up with me...is this the effect of me passing out? As I thought, in the end, my place is in my room. After all, the whole world rejects me...be it strangers on the street who I¡¯ve never met even once in my life, to those who approach me in order for unreasonable favors with fake indifference. As my eyes finally adjusted to the brightness of the room, I noticed that I¡¯m in a rather vast room. Of course, I¡¯m called it vast comparable to my own room... I¡¯m currently lying down on a pretty big bed that could easily fit five people comfortably, while in front of me is a small, round table with a chess board on top of it. There are also a set of chairs in front of the table, each on on the opposite side...probably the whole set up is meant for simply playing chess. Further into the room, could see a narrow corridor with two, opposite doors facing each other. For all I know, one of them is perhaps leading a bathroom while the other to a closet. Back tracking a bit, there is a huge door just a few steps away from the bed on the left...in which case, I can easily presume it to be the door leading out of this room. ¡°The princess has awoken!¡± ¡°Eh?¡± A sudden voice rang out from within the room, in which case I can¡¯t see it¡¯s source at all! I began to earnestly search for the source with my eyes...and yup, still nothing at all. The remarkable door to the left suddenly made some noise, as it opened grandly...what entered through said door was the old man, wearing a getup grader than the one he wore when he kidnapped me, followed toe in toe by a young, golden hair, blue eyed woman. The young woman wore a long, blue and black jacket dotted with medals...but me, being a shut-in, don¡¯t know what they mean at all...Since in my eyes, they¡¯re just scrap metal. She also had a sword within its sheath roped into her waist, in which case I can easily say that she¡¯s of military origin. The old man gave me an earnest look, and then said, ¡°I¡¯m glad that nothing is abnormal in your body.¡± Yeah, nothing abnormal aside from the fact that I have a rod sticking in the center of my body! You bastard, you think it¡¯s normal to make a man crossdress?! But we¡¯ve already been through that. ¡°W-w-where am...I?¡± God dammit, my tongue is twisting and rolling in my mouth to the point where I can¡¯t even speak without stuttering because of my fright... I know it¡¯s unreasonable...but my body knows it better than I do...strangers are, to me, are nothing but a source of fear. Un, this train of thought is going to make me pass out again...so let¡¯s just throw it out of my head. ¡°Oh? You¡¯re in my residence, miss! Ahaha, I also brought someone who will shut you up in any chess-related matters! If you can beat her...I¡¯ll answer every question you have!¡± As he said that, he stepped aside to make way for the young lady behind him. She seemed to be in her mid twenties by the way. ¡°I am the vice captain of the Eagle Company, Major Angel¡± She said without even trying to hide the pride within her expression. The eagle company? What the hell? Ahh, is it like a military division or something? E-err, is it supposed to be famous...? I quickly shot the old man a questioning look, in which case he quickly nodded and went, ¡°The Eagle company is part of the Ace regiment. The Ace regiment is, as the name is self explanatory, our empire¡¯s visible trump card. The Ace regim--¡± ¡°Cut to the chase!¡± A-aah...I ended up interrupting him due to my short line of patience... Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.Ehhhh, I can¡¯t be helped, alright? I¡¯m going to return to sleep at this point!! Un, it seems that I somehow opened up to the old man...probably because of how pathetic he was... The woman shot me a glare, and quickly said, ¡°How dare you interrupt the archduke! No matter what, he¡¯s the one who is nursing you in his own resid--¡± But she was quickly cut off by the old man¡¯s hand. ¡°Oh well, please excuse me...I couldn¡¯t help but end up bragging a bit. So! As I was saying,¡± Continued the old man cheerfully, not phased the slightest by my harsh interruption. ¡°The Eagle Company is one of the top five companies in the Ace Regiment. The Ace regiment itself is composed of twelve Companies! The Wolf being the first, the Lion being the second, the Turtle being the third and the Serpent being the fifth!¡± ¡°I-is that so...¡± Well, I can understand what he meant. But should I be surprised? Am I supposed to go, Oh my god, you¡¯re an elite of within a group of elites! Heck, you might even be a genius of an elite within the elites! Please, take good grace upon myself! Ugh, if only I have enough courage to voice these complaints myself... ¡°Mmm, it seems that you don¡¯t quite understand yet what that means...Alright, let the master strategist of the Ace Regiment teach you exactly what it means! Come on, get up and let the two of you have a game of chess!¡± As he said that, the young woman, Angel, slowly walked to the round table. Of course, she sat on the black end. Even I, who only played chess mini games, know that playing in the black end is a handicap...after all, the white chess pieces have the first move. She clearly is looking down on me. The old man also followed her, to the table. Of course, there weren¡¯t any extra chairs...so he ended up clapping both of his hands, and the door opened, revealing two maids who are carrying a chair identical to the pair and positioned it right in the middle end of the table. That way, the small round table can fit three chairs. ¡°Old man...you clearly just want to brag about your cute maids!¡± ¡°Hahaha, I knew you would say that!¡± E-eh? Oh shit, did I say that out loud...? The glares coming from Angel also thickened... ......Grr, I won¡¯t lose to you!!! Let this be my first hurdle to conquering my phobia!!!!! As I said that, I finally noticed that I¡¯m still on my bed...sitting up. Of course, the blanket itself was pretty huge, so it covered my body. I looked down, and ended up noticing the undergarments of a woman on my body. Of course, it consisted only of a slightly transparent, black nightgown. Of course, of course, no bra included. I quickly took a peek under the blanket, and noticed that I was only wearing panties. ¡°That fucker...of a pervert...¡± I quickly shot a glare toward the old man, in which case he only replied with a shrug before sitting down on his own chair. How am I going to get up now?! My manhood is obviously going to stick out... Is it okay to show her? Is it not okay to show her? Am I going to get decapitated for letting her know that I¡¯m a man...? I sure talked smack before passing out...but...I still don¡¯t want to die yet! Ughh...I guess I¡¯ll just grab the long ass blanket and wrap myself around it, then walk to the table... ¡°Hey, what¡¯re you doing...?¡± The old man obviously was holding back his laughter when he asked that. As for the woman? Well, her gaze was filled with hatred, scorn and a little bit of ridicule... I just have a keen eye, y¡¯know... Is this his payback for me kicking his ass earlier?! ¡°Pfft...hahahahahahahaha!!!!¡± The old man broke into laughter as I began to walk toward the table, pushing behind me a long trail of the blanket¡¯s excess. Of course the blanket would be excessively huge...after all, it¡¯s supposed to be covered an abomination of a bed! Alright you old bastard...you started this! Well, maybe me for not holding back...but still!! I¡¯ll wreck this strategist of yours!!! 5. Eh, Even Though Im a Guy?! ¡°I...lost?¡± ¡°Yup. Now then,¡± I turned around to face the old man, grinning at him. ¡°How about you spill the beans already?¡± The old man looked a bit baffled, clearly not listening to what I¡¯ve just said at all. Oh well. Let us turn to the barbarous lady--not that she did anything barbarian, but the mere fact that she keeps glaring at me is disturbing my psychological comfort zone--and let her feel my grace! ¡°If you think that I won by a simple fluke...we can try again?¡± The young woman(I.E Angel), simply ignored me as well as she began to review the match one step at a time. Is it that? She wants to know exactly how I¡¯ve beaten her? Hmph. I have no reason to mind those who are inferior to me. ¡°A-ahahaha...¡± Hmm? ¡°Oi, old man...why are you laughing?¡± ¡°No...I was thinking about how to comfort you while you were playing the game in case you failed...in which case, I honestly did! And the words I was going to utter seem so laughable right now...¡± ¡°Huh...Old man, for argument¡¯s sake, how about you say those words out loud now? I want to hear ¡®em.¡± The old man broke a resigned smile, and quickly said, ¡°Angel, as the youngest vice captain in the Ace Regiment history is a genius even among the elites. Heck, she had offers to join the first company in the regiment, the Wolf Company...which she turned down! To simply join the Ace Regiment, you must be genius level in three fields. Magic, Proficiency in using a weapon and strategical ability to make the right decisions even if contact with headquarters is ever broken. So...don¡¯t feel bad for lo...sing...¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry, old man! Although I can¡¯t use magic or any weapons, I am the best at gaming.¡± After that, I spent the next few hours beating the hell out of Angel until she finally submitted to my superiority. ¡°I better leave...I¡¯ve been back to my own capital, and have yet to finish the paper work left for me. Oh, and by the way Miss, Angel is your own personal bodyguard.¡± Saying that, the old man sprinted out of the room without leaving me a single chance to utter a word. That bastard ran away again without explaining the situation and why I, as a man should dress like a woman and marry the emperor! The guy seems relaxed enough though...so I get the feeling that he¡¯s just messing with me... I miss my games... ¡°Oi you, do you have any crystal gear games? ...A crystal gear system is fine as well.¡± I looked at the girl, and she quickly replied while biting her lower lip, ¡°If you let me win in chess...I-I¡¯ll answer your question!¡± ¡°Sigh. What is up with you people and chess...are you really going to be satisfied with me letting you win?¡± She quickly lowered her gaze, in which case I could easily tell that she looked really conflicted. Is it perhaps that her pride is getting the better of her? Is she perhaps not mature enough to handle that someone is better than her? ¡°You¡¯re right...No, I¡¯ve never played any crystal gear. After all, it¡¯s a hindrance to my concentration if I ever played it...the only games I really got to playing are shogi and chess.¡± ¡°I see. Now then, if I may trouble you...can you please leave the room? I need to change my clothes.¡± I have, indeed, been wearing nothing but girls undergarments and a sheet/blanket for hours. ......Don¡¯t pity me! *Cries* ¡°Oh...indeed, let us continue our game after you finish changing clothes.¡± What game?! I never agreed to playing! ...This is but a trial set by the crystal gears...I¡¯ll be able to play my games...when I overcome this trial and meet the emperor...*Sniiiiiff* I somehow feel like it¡¯s the dragons! They keep yelling ¡°THEY¡¯RE COMING!¡± and in the end, they never did... Where¡¯s the emperor?! So anyhow, I quickly changed clothes. At least that bastard of an old man knows some style...he left me all fancy dresses except for a pair of black jeans and a long, black T-shirt. I¡¯m honestly surprised to see a T-Shirt and jeans here...why, you might be asking? Because the capital, of all places, fancies elegance over anything...that¡¯s common sense yo! You might find people wearing jeans or a T-shirt in the edges of the continent, where nobles usually avoid. To put it simply, the more you head to the center of the continent--the capital--the more nobles you find. Nobles fancy elegance, and thus some might not even heard of clothing such as jeans because of it¡¯s lack of elegance. As for myself? I¡¯m the man of the night. Of course I know about jeans. ...Well, I mostly heard about them from games but whatever! It took me in around five minutes to figure out how to wear the jeans, and I quickly wore the T-shirt before letting that woman get inside the room. ¡°What a weird nightwear,¡± Said the woman as soon as she got inside the room. ¡°Are you here to complain about my clothing or for me to beat your ass in chess?¡± If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. No one asked for your opinion! But I got to say...that¡¯s one witty comeback, don¡¯t you agree? Eh...no? ................................................................................... ¡°E-eh, is this the legendary Fool¡¯s mate?! A two-move checkmate!¡± With that being said, I ended up accompanying her until late at night. After all, it seemed as if I passed out for a full day...so I was brimming with energy. Did she even win against me once? Fool! I am not someone who would intentionally hold back!!
The very next day, I decided to take a tour. Wait, isn¡¯t that totally a bad flag?! Some of you might be asking. Indeed it is, indeed it is. But! I must fight through all of the risks!! Why? You might be wondering. But of course... ¡°...To get my hands on a crystal gear system!¡± I asked the old man kindly to give me some money, since it seems that I¡¯ll be staying at his place until the emperor is free to see me with that woman as a bodyguard. The only thing I really don¡¯t seem to enjoy is that...I¡¯m wearing a fancy dress. It seems that even though he smuggled in some jeans and a t-shirt, I can only wear that within the mansion of his. Oh well. ¡°So, milady,¡± The woman suddenly said, ¡°Do you want to visit the tea house first, or the clothes shop?¡± ¡°Huh? None of those, you silly woman!¡± ¡°Oh. Please excuse my lack of consideration...of course, we must first go to the jewelry shop!¡± Is this her payback for me beating her?! I did, kinda, earn her respect though...so let¡¯s excuse the Milady part, but still...I¡¯m not a girl! Not that she knows, but...take a hint!! But since we¡¯re in public...if they find out that I¡¯m a guy...the shame! The mere thought of strangers talking bad about me is about to make me hurl!!! ¡°I¡¯m sorry...but can you take me to any crystal-stop?¡± For those who don¡¯t know, crystal stop is the number one provider for crystallized technology! From weapons infused with crystals up to crystal water purifiers! They sell everything!! ¡°Oh my, it seems angels truly have descended from heaven,¡± ¡°Huh?¡± Is this what I think it is? Is someone hitting on someone else?! I quickly turned around to look at the smooth talker who just spoke, and... ¡°Eh?¡± I turned around to look at the smooth talker--I thought that he was talking to someone else in the street--only to see a handsome blue haired, light blue eyed man, surrounded by two other beautiful ladies--who are twins by the way--from either side, looking directly at me. He quickly moved, and before I realized it, grabbed my palm and kissed the top of my hand. ¡°An angel as beautiful as you truly needs the best of care,¡± He quickly said, as he walked toward the woman--my so called bodyguard--and kissed the top of her hand as well. Ehhh, is this the stereotype noble playboy? AND IS HE HITTING ON ME?! By the way, Angel doesn¡¯t have her sword nor her uniform that she wore yesterday. Since...well, this is public outing and all. It seems that she doesn¡¯t need a sword to protect me, since she already knows magic... Ahh, sorry, my mind escaped for a second there. I kept blabbering about the woman...still...I want to throw up... I looked at the young man, who was brimming with a charming smile and then back at the woman. ¡°Do something,¡± I whispered into her ear. But she simply smiled back at me. ...This woman!!! The young man who looked to be around eighteen years old, simply smiled and said, ¡°How about it, flowers as beautiful as you two are indeed a one in a million--and yet you seem to be together, truly birds of a feather flock together--would like to go shopping with us? Of course, if there¡¯s anything that catches your beautiful eyes, you simply have to ask and it¡¯ll be within your reach.¡± I see that this smooth talker is beyond hope. I¡¯m a man you know!! I quickly eyed the two women next to him, who seem to be of the same age as he is, and said, ¡°A-and...y-y-you...two?¡± Aren¡¯t they going to be mad that even though he already has them, he goes around picking up other girls? And right in front of their eyes nonetheless? And it looked like they misunderstood my question entirely when they answered, ¡°I am the third daughter of Baron Harley von Charles. This, here, is my twin younger sister.¡± The young man took it as his chance, and made his grand introduction, ¡°As for me, I¡¯m the only grandson of Duke Arthur! My name is Alastair, my two roses.¡± Angel quickly whispered into my ears, ¡°There are only seven official dukes in the capital. Of course, duke Arthur is known to spoil his only grandchild, Alastair...which turned him into what you see today, a simple playboy in the court.¡± Yay. Great. I¡¯m being hit on a super spoiled brat, who has an important political figure behind him. Doesn¡¯t this mean...that I am forced to follow him around...? 6. Trash! Gay!! Homo!!! Ugh. Why, heavens, WHY?! Why should I accompany this playboy--who has obvious intentions of bringing both me and that woman to the bedroom--on a shopping spree to bribe me into entering said-room?! I already got money, and all I really need is getting to a crystal-stop store and buy me a crystal gear for my games... Now, where am I you might be asking? Oh, I¡¯m glad you asked. I¡¯m in a women¡¯s clothing store. The whole complex is huge--bigger than my house even! It¡¯s also three storeys high. The first floor is dedicated to casual outing and make-up. The second floor is dedicated to formal outings and whatnot. As for the third floor...well, it¡¯s for nightwear and undergarments. I, totally blame this dress. And of course my petite, woman like body. My pale skin and my red hair. Speaking about my body condition, my black eyes...no one seems to be batting an eye about them. This is totally not like back in that cursed town. Well, I did notice a few girls walking around with pink or green hair...and that bastard is blue haired to begin with, so perhaps it¡¯s all fine having strange hair colors? ¡°Ugh...I mustn¡¯t escape reality into the realm of thoughts...!¡± So where was I. Oh yes, yes. I¡¯m in the third floor. The excuse that the playboy gave was, ¡°The recommended way to shop in the store is by starting at the third floor, up until the first floor and pay for everything there!¡± To start with, a spoiled brat like you would probably have butlers or maids carrying everything for you--in which case, I can¡¯t see ¡®em at all. Well, to be fair, the excuse is really believable. But the fact that the lust in his eyes could not be hidden was a huge mishap on his part. It was clear as day that he had something in plan. But that¡¯s all beside the point. Oh, why did I mention the butlers earlier? Well, you see, it seems that there are no employees coming in today in the third floor--fishy, no? Combine that with the lack of servants to carry whatever we¡¯re going to buy from the third floor...and viola, you get yourself a rather messed up picture of molestation. Oh well, I might just be paranoid. But! Just in case, let me whisper something in that woman¡¯s ear. ¡°Hey! I really, really have a bad feeling about this...!¡± The woman turned to face me, her eyes revealed confusion. ¡°What¡¯s there to be worried about? Alastair is going to buy us clothes...And from a store that¡¯s so expensive that I never even considered entering before!¡± This girl has been hooked! Ugh, is the shop really this expensive? I quickly grabbed a black laced bra to look at the pri-- ¡°--Holy fuck!¡± I ended up cursing without thinking. Why? This bra is seventy nine gold coins! To put it into perspective, a commoner only needs one gold to have enough food for him and his family of three for a year. Of course, normal commoners earn in about three gold coins a year... Also, there are silver and copper coins as well! Well, a hundred copper coins are a single silver coin, while a hundred silver coins are a single gold coins. Of course, there are currencies above gold coins. For example, there is the green holy paper. A single green holy paper is worth a thousand gold coins. Let¡¯s just stop at that, shall we? It¡¯s not like I can get any holy paper myself in this life time--or the next one either way. I, myself, only got my hands on ten silver coins that I got from the old man for the sake of my crystal gear. ¡°Hmph. I wonder who¡¯s shameless enough to curse...even though I bought the whole floor for the day.¡± Alastair quickly muttered as he led the way through. He then looked back to look at me, and quickly said, ¡°Did that catch your fancy, Lady Kai?¡± ¡°...A-ah...N-no...¡± I ended up muttering in a voice that even he couldn¡¯t pick up. I really, really should start working on my personality... Alastair thought my murmuring meant that I did in fact want it, but was too shy to admit it, and quickly said, ¡°Haha! No worries, it¡¯ll all be on me. How about you try it out?¡± I quickly replied, ¡°B-b-but there¡¯s...n-no one who can...help me...¡± I tried to bluff my way out of here. Alastair quietly smiled, and then turned around to face one of the twins and ordered, ¡°Jade, why don¡¯t you help Lady Kai fit her undergarments?¡± The twin that he just spoke to looked a bit conflicted for a moment, but then quickly nodded before wearing a forced smile. Alastair then turned to face the other twin, ¡°And you Amber, please help Lady Angel!¡± Amber, on the other hand, smiled tenderly and quickly pulled the woman who was by my side away. As for Alastair himself, he kept walking straight ahead. Amber took a few steps backward, and reached my side. She then grabbed my hand, in which case my body began to uncontrollably tremble. She looked to the side shocked, ¡°Lady Kai, is something the matter?¡± I lowered my head, and muttered, ¡°Nothing...¡± And quickly forced my body to calm down. It¡¯s fine. It¡¯s fine. Nothing is going to happen. Iya iya iya iya iya!!! Something is going to happen!!! Why? Because I¡¯m about to have this woman who¡¯s holding my hand fit a bra(and perhaps panties too) on my body! Doesn¡¯t that mean I have to strip down? Doesn¡¯t that mean that my manhood is going to be exposed? I will soon have a second label...the pervert!!! Who knows, the playboy might even spread bad rumors about me!!!! I can already see myself in the headlines of several newspapers!!!!! By the way, nobles have servants fit them their clothes. And I mean EVERYTHING! Including their underwear! The reason why Angel left the room when I changed clothes yesterday was because, well...the story is that I am a common girl who will marry the emperor. Of course, that¡¯ll explain a bit of her hatred for me. But! I ended up being accepted by her for beating her ass in strategy(I.E Chess). Although I haven¡¯t heard anything about the emperor myself... As I was stuck in my head, we reached a corner with a curtain behind it. ¡°Now then, since you¡¯ve already picked what you want, you should have Jade help you wear it,¡± Like hell I¡¯ll have this girl know my true form!! ¡°N-no, in second thought...I-I¡¯ll do it myself!¡± I quickly shook off the girl¡¯s hand, and ran behind the curtain. ¡°Oh my,¡± Exclaimed Alastair, the corner of his mouth lewdly curved upwards. Shit, shit shit shit shit shit! I shouldn¡¯t have fell into his hands!! And yet I dare say that I¡¯m smart? Like hell I am! If I were, I wouldn¡¯t have followed him to begin with!! I can think of many, many ways to get out of this situation...but I simply don¡¯t have the connections! On the other hand, that brat has a duke behind him. A duke! A level bellow the old man!! The old man himself didn¡¯t give me any identification to link myself to him, so I really can¡¯t use his name at all!!! ¡°Jade,¡± Exclaimed Alastair, ¡°Go along with Amber and chose whatever you fancy.¡± Of course, I heard him saying that to the twin...although I didn¡¯t hear her reply at all. I quickly acted as if I¡¯m taking down my dress(Which in all honest, I did not) and was simply trying to buy enough time before getting out, exclaiming that I didn¡¯t like it. I am in no way going to be in debt to anyone. And to be honest, my chest is so flat that I can¡¯t even wear any bras. Of course, the fancy dress I¡¯m wearing right now completely covers my chest in a way that anyone who¡¯s looking won¡¯t be able to guess whether I was big or not. Angel? Unfortunately...she¡¯s disappointing. ¡°Lady Kai, are you fine inside?¡± ¡°Y-yes...¡± ¡°Hmm...you don¡¯t seem that way though...ah! Is it because you don¡¯t have any help? If that¡¯s the case...why did you shy out? Unfortunately, no one is here to help...and Jade just went to pick her own clothes...ahh! How about I help you?¡± So it began! ¡°N-n-no need!¡± The bastard completely ignored me, and opened the curtain. He then entered, and closed the curtain again. By the way, the space here is quite large...it can fit three people at the same time to change with no problem. On the wall, of course, is a large mirror! ......Shit, I¡¯m escaping reality again!! ¡°P-please, I-I can do this on my own...¡± ¡°But, Lady Kai! Look at yourself...You still haven¡¯t taken off the dress! As I have thought, we should have had Jade help you out...¡± Exclaimed Alastair disappointingly. Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.Of course, he¡¯s just a good actor. God dammit! I¡¯m not good at oral warfare to make him get out of here!! ¡°Look, I might be a man, but I am a gentleman! So, as a gentleman, let me help you change.¡± Gentleman my arse!! Anyone can see the lust in your eyes!!! I wanted to run outside of the curtain, but he himself kept blocking my way while slowly approaching me with a smile in his face. ¡°T-this is...r-rape...!¡± Alastair continued walking, a smile still in his face, ¡°What do you mean? I am simply trying to help you change clothes...¡± He, in the end, got me. He quickly began to take off my clothes rather forcibly as my petite body tried to hopelessly struggle and scream, while he himself simply said, ¡°There is no one in this floor! And I already had Amber guide Lady Angel away from here.¡± In the end, all my struggle and shouts bore no fruit. ¡°You know, my enjoyment is painting pure maidens with my color,¡± He quickly told me, ¡°And you seemed untainted by any man.¡± Of course, under my dress I wore my jeans. Why would I wear jeans, even though the dress is hot enough to wear? Because I feel at home wearing pants. The young man was unfazed by the jeans that I was wearing(He already took off everything on my chest), and proceeded to take it off with one hand, while the other held both of my frail arms at bay. This man is trash! He¡¯s the trash of trash!! He¡¯s in no way human! Gay! Homo! Ugly! Ahhhhhhhh!!!! Fucking hell, in no way am I inferior to the trash of nobility!!!!! ¡°You fucking bastard, leave me alone!!!¡± I began to hurl insults into his face, in which case his lewd smile deepened even further. ¡°Hehehehaha! More!!¡± He kept shouting. You fucking pervert!! Make up your mind, are you a sadist or a masochist?!?!?!?!? As he was disgustingly laughing, he reached to the zipper in between my thighs...and came in touch with my manhood. At that point, his whole body stiffened and his laugh came to a sudden halt. ¡°Eh? W-why?¡± T-this...is my chance!! I instantly kicked him--I was still wearing my heels(A dress must be worn with heels, and it took me a while to get used to them)--with all my might. Where, exactly? His very own pride as a man! ¡°A-a-a-a-a-a-AHHHHHHHHH!!!!¡± The guy then fell to the ground screaming, and the whites of his eyes appeared. I stayed still for around ten minutes, trying to calm myself as much as possible. I quickly took off his white waistcoat and wore it myself, and then I began to dress the man himself in the dress I was wearing. Of course, I made sure to strip every article of clothing on his body before dressing him in the dress. I also stole his money. So where was I? Oh yes, I began to raise him little by little onto my back, and started to walk the hell out of the building. Ugh, descending the stairs will, without a doubt, bring me hell...the guy is super heavy too...I only took three steps, and I¡¯m already sweating...but I got to finish this before he wakes up! By the way, the fucker looks lovely in the small dress I forced him to wear. How lovely? Well, since my height was up to his shoulder(I am shorter while his height is rather normal.) The dress reaches...up to his thighs. Then how exactly am I carrying him? Well, the man himself doesn¡¯t have muscles at all...and as a matter of fact, doesn¡¯t seem prone to pain at all. Why? Because he passed out from me kicking his...pride. So, what exactly do I plan on doing? Well, I started thinking, y¡¯know. In that ten minutes I needed to calm down. The guy doesn¡¯t know who I am. His only clue is my name...and I have never even been to the capital before, so I really doubt anyone even knows me. So! If I¡¯m able to escape now, no one will know it¡¯s me. What about Angel? Well, she can take care of herself. Even in the worst case scenario, and they send people to kill us--her, she can defend herself since she¡¯s an elite. What about his grandfather authority? Well, even if he can force his underlings to search every single house in the capital...he won¡¯t be able to search old man¡¯s place. Why? He¡¯s his superior! I can just hide there. That¡¯s what I planned on doing to start with, as soon as I got my hand on a crystal gear. Then, I would have my hands on my games...and all I need to do is await the emperor¡¯s summoning. Why exactly did I have him wear a dress, you might be wondering? Simple, really. What do nobles care about the most? Status! Also known as face!! So...all I have to do is humiliate him enough--and make him self-destruct. I...just have to carry him to the most populated place. By that, I mean the place with the most nobles. Do I really have to carry him a long way until I find a place suitable enough? Nope! Why? Because we¡¯re already here! The shop is located in the most bustling place in the capital!! I mean, the prices in the store were not normal...right? I can just leave him be outside in the street.
¡°......U...gh...¡± What happened? I feel like there¡¯s a fog covering my head... ¡°................¡± I was planning on having fun with two, beautiful ladies...and went for the tasty one first... ¡°...Eh?¡± The fog in my head began to slowly disappear, as my memories began to come back one after the other. Right, right. I did go in to have a taste. But... ¡°...It turned out to be a guy?¡± That can¡¯t be right... T-t-that can¡¯t be right... THAT CAN¡¯T BE RIGHT!!!! The mere fact that Lady Kai acted shy, timid, and everything else are all features of the women I like... In fact, they should only exist within women who are sheltered their whole lives... I know that sounded wrong, but believe me...I tasted enough sheltered women to know that the outgoing type is by no means a sheltered woman. Sheltered women are timid, shy, and whatnot because of their lack of interaction with strangers. If not for that, why couldn¡¯t she have refused my invitation? But suddenly, I heard a few giggles which interrupted my train of thought. Oh right, I seem to have been sitting down on the ground up until now...how unbecoming. No wonder they are laughing at me. This is no good, my esteemed grandfather is going to scold me again... I stood up while clearing my throat, ¡°A-ahem.¡± S-something...feels wrong. The giggling continued, and in fact, loud laughter was mixed in as well. I began to register my location, and it seems that I am in an intersection...facing the other street. Of course, roads were constructed for the sake of carriages. This place is not really far from the shop I entered with Lady Kai... As I peered my eyes, I noticed that the loud laughter and giggling was coming from across the street. ¡°What are they laughing about...? Are they truly of nobility?¡± The laughter on street across from here suddenly infected all of those around myself, be it from the ones far away, to the ones on on the other side of the street up until those beside me. Wind suddenly blew, and my legs felt unusually cold. I peered down, only to see a him of a dress and my legs practically uncovered. ¡°E.....eh?¡± I-I¡¯m wearing...a dress? Th...there...is...no way...? ¡°...........A-a-a-a--¡± I cannot even utter a word. This can be?! Who did this? Who the fuck in the seven hells dared to do this to me? I turned around to the closest laughing woman, and quickly screamed so everyone can hear, ¡°Stop laughing!!! Who do you take me to be? I am the grandchild of Duke Arthur!!!¡± The laughter has gone higher, to the point that some men fell on the ground, hugging their stomachs. T-this...cursed dress! I quickly took off the dress, trying to know whether I know who it belongs to or not. As I took off the dress, the laughter escalated to a whole new level, as women began to scream ¡°Pervert!¡± And what not. ¡°This...this is Lady Kai¡¯s dress!¡± As I stared deeply at the dress...I noticed something else in the corner of my eyes. ¡°I-I¡¯m...n-naked?¡± As soon as I realized that, my mind went blank. 7. Eh? Why, Esteemed Grandfather!? Author Note: Wasn''t really planning on writing a chapter today due to the fact that I have a doctor appointment for a few hours, and after that I need to head to school and register a few things with ''em. To put it simply, I am too busy to write a chapter. But! something happened and I had to re-read the previous chapters(Kai(MC)''s hair is long and red!)...in which case, I forgot to mention a lot of information. Thus, this chapter. So yeah, be warned, they''ll be information dumping in this chapter! P.S: @Draxul, no worries. I''m not good with writing boyxgirl, girlxgirl or boyxboy scenes. So! If I was ever forced to do ''em, i''ll probably just hint at it. If not, then I will put it into a spoiler. P.P.S: YAY! FINALLY! MY RATING IS ABOVE 3.5 *^*
When I came to, I was in my familiar quarters, lying down in my comfy bed. My whole body feels powerless, and every time I try to move, my muscles scream in pain. ¡°Oww...what happened yesterday?¡± ¡°Young master has been hit by countless ladies for being a cross-dressing pervert.¡± A cold voice rang in the room--a familiar voice at that. I clenched my teeth, as I lifted my body to look at the person who just spoke. The person who just spoke was my very own personal attendant, and the first person I ever tainted. So to say, she is my personal maid. I have many more personal maids, but she¡¯s the only one I bothered to remember her name. ¡°Garnet, do you realize the effect of what you have just said?!¡± I shouted. ¡°Of course I do. Karma is such a bitch, ain¡¯t it?¡± Garnet smiled wickedly, and then said, ¡°Esteemed Master informed me to convey a message.¡± As soon as I heard that, my body froze. ¡°E-esteemed grandfather did...?¡± ¡°Yes! Esteemed Master said to meet him in his study as soon as you wake up.¡± The mere thought of what he¡¯ll do to me...makes my blood run cold. I don¡¯t want to go, I don¡¯t want to go, I don¡¯t want to go! But if I don¡¯t go...I¡¯ll be skinned alive... Esteemed Grandfather raised through the rank due to his effort, and is really known for his ruthlessness. Although Esteemed Grandfather likes to spoil me, he is still very strict. And...he cares very much to keep his image up-straight. I-I was already trending on a thin line assaulting anyone who caught my eyes...but now that I¡¯ve been knocked out and made to cross-dress...it won¡¯t be pretty at all. I noticed a wheelchair near my bed, and I immediately began to crawl onto it. After I finished my crawling, I quickly began to push the wheelchair to Esteemed Grandfather¡¯s study. In the hallways, I bypassed countless servants...all who avoided any eye contact with me. Even those who I had enjoyed an evening with before. I...really don¡¯t have any time to dwell on this. I can punish all of them later! Esteemed Grandfather is a well known swordsman, who raised through the ranks from a viscount to a duke in a matter of four decades. Strength can come in any form, true, but the most common ones are either weapon users or magic casters. There are a few special cases...for example, those who mix between the weapons and the magic, to create a superior hybrid. But that¡¯s all beside the point. Esteemed Grandfather is a Grand knight--a sixth level warrior. Warriors have twelve levels of power. The first level is a soldier, the second and third being apprentice knight, the fourth being a knight. Reaching the first level is pretty easy, all you need is to build your foundation...As in, all you have to do is work out. But. If you want to reach the second level...then you need more than working your body out, but rather build an aura. How exactly do you build an Aura? You simply have to master a weapon! Not any weapon, mind you--but crystallized weapons. After you get your hands on a crystallized weapon, then all that¡¯s left is raw talent. The crystallized weapon feeds the body it¡¯s own aura--basically put, you suck the aura of the weapon into your own body, making your own body more and more powerful. Of course, the better the weapon the better the aura. After you completely suck the weapon of its aura, then you¡¯ll be able to unlock a special ability of the own crystal. Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. The crystals themselves are the hearts of various beasts--their cores so to say. Using the sky and the earth to nutrition said heart, they are able to yield special skills or perhaps even use magic! So if you completely suck the aura of the crystallized weapon, you¡¯ll be able to wield one of the skills of the crystal¡¯s original owner. Of course, if you¡¯re lucky, you¡¯ll be able to use magic as well...and without casting! After the knight, comes the White Knights, then Grand Knights, and after that Black knights. Then comes the Saint Knights and Grand Saint Knights. As for the last two levels...they are lost forever in epic legends, and are known as the lost levels. As for their names? A lowly person like me who doesn¡¯t wield any sort of power may never know. The Mages follow the same system, but rather than wielding an aura and whatnot, they are judged by the highest level magic they are able to use. In this case, it is widely known that the emperor¡¯s right hand man, the Grand Saint Mage is able to cast a level 10, earth shattering spells. The same goes to the the level eleven and twelve grand spells, no one knows if they still exist or not. Just as I was thinking over how much fear I have to Esteemed Grandfather, I knocked on his study. ¡°Come in.¡±, Said an ancient voice in a hoarse tone. This, ladies and gentlemen, is my Esteemed Grandfather, one of the dukes of the Crystal Empire, Arthur. Each district has seven dukes, and being a duke in the capital of the empire is a special status...even within the ranks of dukes in the imperial court. ¡°Esteemed Grandfather...¡± I said, as soon as I entered the study. Esteemed Grandfather was sitting behind a desk, dotting on a reading glasses and a black suit. His structure was muscular for his age--being over sixty years old--and his height was around two meters tall. His sitting position alone was as tall as myself. I closed the door behind me, and stopped the wheel chair a few steps away from Esteemed Grandfather¡¯s desk. ¡°Would you mind telling me exactly what happened?¡± Esteemed Grandfather asked rather impatiently. It was apparent that he was holding back his wrath...at least enough for me to tell him my excuse. ¡°I-I was seduced by a woman...¡± I said, telling him my own little version of the story. I could not tell him that I was going to assault a noble, now can I? Although Esteemed Grandfather doesn¡¯t have anything such as a sense of justice...but assaulting women is clearly a black stain in one¡¯s imperial profile. I told him how I was seduced by a woman, only to have a man the woman invited knock me out-cold, steal all of my money, forcing me to wear the woman¡¯s dress, and throw me out into the worst place possible--right in the middle of the busiest street. ¡°Sigh. I guessed as much,¡± Said Esteemed Grandfather, unable to hide the anger from his tone. ¡°They dared to mess with me...¡± As he said that, he stood up. His majestic and noble figure would send shivers to run down anyone¡¯s spine, as his expression began to warp in both anger and frustration. ¡°They dared to kill my Grandson...I shall decorate their corpses at my Grandson¡¯s tomb!¡± As he said that, he slammed both of his hands on the table, reducing it to nothing but a huge pile of dust. ¡°Eh...? E-esteemed Grandfather, I-I¡¯m not dead!¡± Esteemed Grandfather looked directly at me, ¡°You are no longer my Grandson. From hereupon, you shall call me Duke Arthur. Also, you are not allowed to show your face in public! ...And Alastair, you are dead to me!! I shall turn the imperial capital upside down to look for your killers!!!¡± 8. I-is this turning into a fashion...? Author Note: I apologize again. Another short chapter...I promise, the next one is going to be longer! I''m just really busy now that real life has started it''s gear... Edit: added a poll. A friend of mine who read this says that my style is confusing...so I want to be sure about it. If that''s the case, then I''ll try to slowly change it.
¡°Ehehehehe~ Now I¡¯m rich! And I thought ten silver coins was too much for me to handle~! Hehehe, let¡¯s see...the latest crystal gear is about six silver coins, while I to buy quite a lot of games, since two games is for one silver coin...not so expensive now!¡± With that guy¡¯s money, forget buying a few more games, I can buy the whole store without batting an eye! However! I can¡¯t stomach wasting money. Sure, I might ¡®marry¡¯ off to the emperor...but what if she--yes, for my mentality¡¯s sake, I¡¯m going to refer to the emperor as she--treats me horribly? Worse, she might even refuse to give me any allowance and/or not allow crystal gears! If that¡¯s the case, I¡¯ll escape the palace and live off the golden coins!! Un, people are not kind. Look, my own mother sold me off...so treating your savior¡¯s child like pure garbage is not farfetched at all. ¡°Now then...how the hell can I get out of this place?¡± What I meant is, I¡¯m still in the area where nobility do their shopping and have their afternoon cup of tea. What I¡¯m looking for is not a place where nobility do their crap, but a place where an honest citizen could waste a coin. As in, I want to go to the middle-class shopping area! ¡°I also want to get out of here before that bastard wakes up...Alright, let¡¯s ask someone.¡± Looking left and right, all I saw was haughty nobles either walking with servants in toe, or ladies who covered their faces with fans as they gossiped away. ¡°......Yeah, I can¡¯t see myself approaching them at all.¡± Ugh. Let¡¯s just give up and walk randomly. I decided to walk through the dark alleyways that are devoid of any human activity. Why? Because most of these are either dead ends or could very possibly be a shortcut to the middle class area. ¡°Young lady, are you lost?¡± That¡¯s the first thing I heard right after entering one unremarkable dark alley. I did not stop, nor did I bat an eye. I continued forward instead. Why? Because I¡¯m scared. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!! Why did I enter a dark alley? I really am asking for trouble! They might kidnap me and mess me up!! Sell me drugs, and do every single dark and disgusting thing I can imagine!!! No no no no no no no no, I should not show any weaknesses to savages. Although If I turn around now, and take around five steps, I¡¯ll return to the bright side of the empire...I embarked forward with stubbornness. And by that, I actually meant that I made a 180 degrees turn and... ¡°...ARGH! Not again!! While I was stuck in my head, arguing with myself, I walked too far!!!!¡± The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. It¡¯ll at least take me over twenty steps to get to the other side!! Ugh, really? I shouldn¡¯t have entered... If only I asked someone for directions!! If only I brought that woman with me!!! To begin with, isn¡¯t she my personal bodyguard? Then where is she!? ¡°Not good...I¡¯m going through the five phases of depression...!¡± I turned around again to take a quick peek, and I can hardly see the bright light that leads me outside. To begin with, this alleyway is weird! It¡¯s dark! Are dark alleyways supposed to be dark? Also! Why am I still boldly striving forward? ¡°Umm, young lady, do you need help?¡± The same voice spoke to me again, and I ignored it again. This won¡¯t do. This won¡¯t do. He wants to kidnap me. I didn¡¯t even look at his face, because this place is too dark, and I¡¯m honestly too afraid to do so. If I stop now...I¡¯ll be kidnapped, forced to take drugs, and turn into their slave!!!! Since I already embarked this dark path of mine, let me follow it till the end. If I ever meet Angel again...I got to apologize for always calling her ¡°Woman¡±. I¡¯ll also let the old man beat me in chess... I¡¯ll also forgive my mother for selling me... That¡¯s when I felt a tap on my shoulder, ¡°IYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! YOU HOMO, GAY, BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡± I turned around, and kicked upward with all my strength. What did I aim for, you might be wondering? The kidnapper¡¯s pride! ¡°Oww, that hurts! What was that for?!¡± The voice shouted, and at the same time a finger snap was heard. The dark alleyway simultaneously lit up, and the man I kicked was looking at me, a slight tear in the corner of his eyes. He had short, black hair and purple eyes. He also looked to be around seventeen of age, quite young to be real honest. He wore long, black trousers and a simple shirt--the attire of a middle-class man. ¡°M-magic?!¡± The ¡®young man¡¯ smiled as he said, ¡°Do you need any help?¡± I, of course, ignored his question as I began to look at the source of the lighting. Fire balls were lined up on both sides of the alleyway, from the entrance to the exit. The alleyway can be crossed by simply walked straight, and the fireballs lined up with a space of around half a meter from each other. The total number of all fireballs...is over thirty. Indeed, alleyway is really, really long. Perhaps, it¡¯s lined up to be a shortcut from one side of the capital straight to the other...and this ¡®young man¡¯, who summoned this many fireballs without even chanting...is abnormal. ¡°Just one question...Umm...are you a girl...?¡± Because I totally didn¡¯t feel any sort of pride from my kick... The boyish young girl flushed red, and the alleyway immediately went dark again. 9. I Shall Get My Revenge! ¡°C-can you keep that a secret?¡± The reverse trap has spoken! Well, I really shouldn¡¯t judge since I¡¯m a trap myself... The alleyway once again lit up, and the boyish girl was bowing to me, asking sincerely. ¡°If you...accept a request of mine.¡± This person is one of my kind. Is he forced to cross-dress like me? ...Looking closely, I¡¯m not cross dressing right now, am I? W-why did he call me ¡®lady¡¯ then...? Oh well. ¡°Anything!¡± I ended up revealing a smile, as I quickly said, ¡°I¡¯m new to the capital, so can you please show me around? Also, it¡¯ll be preferable if you could show me the way to a Crystal-Stop...¡± I had a deep sense that this person in front of me is my equal. In fact, I felt as if I¡¯ve known him my whole life. He--or she in this case--extends an aura that makes anyone easily trusts him. ¡°Most certainly!¡± She said, as she raised her face to directly look at me, charmingly smiling. Am I gay to have my heart race in front of this cross dressing girl? I mean, physically speaking...she does look like a feminine man -- a handsome, delicate man. ...Ugh, this is hurting both my heart and my soul. I don¡¯t know whether it¡¯s because of my guilt or his honest aura, I ended up saying, ¡°D-did you know that I¡¯m...actually a guy?¡± E-eh? W-why does he look taken aback?! ¡°A-ahh~ I-is that why you didn¡¯t respond when I talked to you?¡± ¡°Well...i-it was mostly because you were hiding in the dark...¡± The boyish girl began to laugh until tears came out of her eyes, while I stared on, wondering what exactly was funny. So what if my inner monologue changes style every now and then. So what if I abandoned that woman, and in the end ended up blaming her for me being lost. So what if I won¡¯t keep my earlier promises of having the old man win against me chess. A man needs to know defeat in order to grow stronger! No one is born a genius. Well, no one except for me~! Is this perhaps too much of a personality change? Maybe it¡¯s the blood rushing into my head...Or is it a deep desire in order to impress this kinsmen of mine, a fellow cross-dresser? Even though I¡¯m not really cross-dressing at the moment. After the boyish girl finished laughing, she extended her hand and said, ¡°Luke~¡± I ended up extending my own hand, ¡°Kai.¡± And just like that we shook our hands together, and a friendship starting by sharing our two, similar secrets with each other. Even though I revealed my own sexuality by choice. ¡°Your hand, Kai, is as soft as that of an actual girl!¡± ¡°Is that really what you should be saying to a guy...?¡± And it turned out that she was just a straightforward idiot. An idiot who can somehow make people lower their guard around -- make them lower the walls in their hearts. Luke ended up laughing again, as he began to direct my body toward the place entrance I just went through. ¡°So Kai, what brings you to the capital?¡± .......I really can¡¯t say that I¡¯m here to marry the emperor, now can I? Un, I really can¡¯t. ¡°I...I¡¯m here t-to visit a relative of mine...¡± ¡°Oh, that makes sense!¡± And just like that, we made our way through with idle chatter. In the midst of all that, he never really let go of my hand...and he kept talking and talking, making sure that I¡¯m distracted from noticing his hand holding mine until it was too late...until it was too awkward for me to forcibly release my hand! There was also the instance where we had to cross the street where I dumped that fucker Alastair, but when we reached he was already butt naked, howling as he was beaten up by several ladies. I ended up on the floor, laughing my ass off of course. That trash deserved every single kick he received! And also, laughing gave me the chance to forcibly remove my hand from Luke¡¯s clutches. After that, everything went smoothly. I bought a crystal gear, bid farewell to her, sneaked back home, and went to bed. The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.The very next day, I was rudely woken up by that cursed woman, as she screamed, ¡°What have you done?! Not only did you get out of my sight, you even publicly humiliated the duke Arthur¡¯s only grandchild!!!¡± ¡°...........Ugh, I¡¯m still tired.........to begin with, you were the one who was blinded by the clothes and forgot her duty...¡± The rude woman flushed red, shouting, ¡°That¡¯s beside the point! Why did you do that to the brat?!?!!?!¡± It looks like she is truly mad. ¡°...I-it wasn¡¯t me. On what basis are you accusing me of doing so?!¡± Like hell I¡¯ll admit that he was going to rape me. A man, was about to rape me. A MAN! If this isn¡¯t enough of a stain in my manliness, then I don¡¯t know what is. That fucker should have received a harsher punishment, if you ask me. ¡°You have his clothes on the floor, right over there!!¡± As she said that, she pointed at a spot just before my huge bed. Oops, it looks like I was too tired yesterday...to destroy any evidence! ¡°What are we going to do, what are we going to do...¡± The woman began to panic, going back and forth in front of my bed. ¡°They don¡¯t know who we are, so it shouldn¡¯t be of any concern to us, does it?¡± ¡°...You just don¡¯t know! The walls have ears, don¡¯t you know that?!¡± The walls have ears...? ¡°Wait a second, are you trying to say that there are spies in this place...?¡± The woman began to vigorously nod, ¡°Don¡¯t you know that we can¡¯t really strictly know every single servant¡¯s movement? It¡¯s not odd if one of them is selling out information in exchange for silver!¡± ¡°...This...could be bad...¡± But it¡¯s not like I should care, right? So what if they have spies here! As long as I don¡¯t leave this huge mansion, they can¡¯t possibly do anything, can they? This is the archduke¡¯s residence after all! ¡°Oh well, let it be, Woman!¡± As I said that, I got out of the bed, bent down, and extended my hand bellow the bed. ¡°H-hey, what¡¯re you doing?!¡± ¡°None of your business!¡± So...where was I? Oh yes, yes! What am I taking out, you might be asking? My beloved crystal gear! I was lucky enough yesterday to get my hands on the new release that I¡¯ve been looking forward to, until sunset. Although the game sounds romantic, it¡¯s actually a horror survival game with the most advanced graphics ever created! To put it simply, it¡¯s said to be a masterpiece by those who got their hands on it early!! And I was lucky to find a copy yesterday~!!! I guess this is how fate works? For punishing a pervert, I got my hands on a rare game! As soon as I took out my crystal gear, alongside with the crystal game, the woman screamed, ¡°GET DOWN!¡± ¡°Eh?¡± And just like that, the deafening sound of ceiling crushing down filled my ears. I should have known better. I should have known better!! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER NOT TO EXPRESS MY EXCITEMENT!!!! I ended up raising my life¡¯s death flag. And by my life, I meant this shining, new crystal gear and until sunset... ¡°NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!¡± Due to the shock, my body jolted, and I fell to the ground -- presumably passing out. My ear rang because of the loud noise, but I truly didn¡¯t care. Because mixed within that sound, was my heart¡¯s cracking. Why? The crisp sound of the crystal gear shattering was pretty definitive.
Author note: Did I post this chapter in order to not post a longer chapter tomorrow? Probably. Also, look forward to next chapter...it''ll be a revenge chapter! Don''t you also hate it? How life throws something bad at ya, then rewards you for surviving the trial...but then snatches back that reward seconds before tasting it! Well, I sure do! 10. Silence Is of Gold. Fate. How can fate be so cruel? I accepted the fact that I¡¯ve been sold out -- I even punished a pervert who assaults women! If I wasn¡¯t pitiful enough for fate to show sympathy for me, then I don¡¯t know who is! Not only that, I strangely woke up without a single scratch. But that doesn¡¯t matter!! The pain in my heart is a thousand times more painful than any physical injury I could have received!!! More so when I immediately went to a Crystal-Shop--I inquired from Luke two days ago, only to realize that it¡¯s the only store here who sells games and anything related to them--Only to find out that they sold out! Not only that, the game company itself also refused to make any new copies. Why? They wanted their game to reach legendary status by only releasing limited quantity of their game! I WANT MY UNTIL SUNSET!! Call me a maniac, but if my eyes did not turn red from rage, then what will? So be it. I shall avenge my game, and decorate that perverted duke and his grandchild¡¯s guts on it¡¯s tomb! ¡°Achoo!¡± What a sudden sneeze. Am I going to turn sick? Is to from the rage? Don¡¯t belittle a man¡¯s wrath!!! I intended to have the old man compensate for me, but he is in the imperial palace for the next few days, or so said the head butler of the residence. I immediately thought of a bomb. I asked the woman what she thought on the matter before she was sent to the healing center, and she agreed that it is a possibility. She was, of course, injuries said bomb. Why? She protected me with her body. She dashed on top of my body, and before she could set a barrier to protect the both of us, some ruble fell on her...and, well, she broke an arm. So I guess this is revenge for hurting her as well? Ah, who cares! I shall wipe the floor with that perverted duke and his cross-dressing grandson!!! They dared to mess with the wrong person! ¡°To begin with, the timing was simply too perfect. Too perfect, too perfect!! Just as we were talking about spies, the bomb went out and caused everything to crash!¡± It was obvious that it wasn¡¯t set to kill, but rather to destroy my games! The spy was the one who probably set it. Am I going to go after the spy? Nope. Why? Because there might be more than a single spy! Am I going to punish them all? Why do I need to do that? I¡¯ll simply use them! This is all a game, a simple game!! They simply had the first move -- they¡¯re the white pieces so to say!!! Speaking about white pieces, don¡¯t you think that¡¯s racist? I mean, why does the white piece have the first move -- an obvious advantage against the black pieces?! I will let them know that a simple disadvantage is nothing against me. Trick me, humiliate me, attempt to rape me, and I won¡¯t get this angry...but dare to ruin the love of my life, and you¡¯re done for, understand?!?! ¡°Tell me everything you know about duke Arthur.¡± I said to the the head butler. The head butler is actually quite and aged person, appearing to be in the end of his sixth decade. It seems as if he served the Archduke since he was little--obviously, he was together with him before he even has been appointed the position of the capital¡¯s archduke. The old butler looks to be pretty frail, shivering from time to time. This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.His bald head reflected the sun light that is coming through the glass window, and straight to my eyes. ¡°Haah...Young miss, I¡¯m sorry, but I do not know anything about duke Arthur except for public knowledge -- Perhaps even less...¡± That¡¯s what they all say at first! I¡¯ve already smelled the fishiness that¡¯s coming out of your body. An old man like you, gaining a few coins in the side would be perfect, wouldn¡¯t it? Am I going mad? Is this how a madman acts? Just wait and see, you¡¯ll soon agree with me that he¡¯s a rat! You see, the most trustworthy person is usually the one who¡¯s the spy, alright? Just wait, I¡¯ll throw a bait. Let¡¯s see if he can bite it. I took out a single gold coin, and then said, ¡°Aww, and here I thought I could reward you for your help...¡± The old man¡¯s dim eyes brightly shone--brighter than the reflected sun out of his bald head--and eerily licked his dry lips, ¡°If you want...I can share with you my humble public knowledge?¡± As he said that, he moved his hand to grab the gold coin. I retrieved the gold coin before he could catch it, ¡°This is a reward for your public knowledge. Aren¡¯t I generous? And seeing as this is a reward...talk first.¡± I told you he smelled fishy! I told you he was a rat!! These dark eyes of mine did not fail me at all!!! ¡°You see,¡± I continued before he could start speaking, ¡°I did something horrible to the duke¡¯s grandson, something really horrible. So please, don¡¯t try to hide anything, would you?¡± The old man¡¯s eyes flashed, and a greedy smile appeared in his face, ¡°Duke Arthur is an esteemed White Knight. His preferable weapons is knuckles, gloves, and everything fist related. He really doesn¡¯t associate himself with politics much, but instead married a royal to raise in the ranks. His rarity in the imperial court made him instead mysterious, and is rather pretty popular...almost no one sees him in a bad light. Of course, that¡¯s all above the table!¡± Yeah, don¡¯t know anything my arse! ¡°He deeply cares about honor and face. He cares about his image, and resents everything that might ruin it...Oh yes, he¡¯s also known to be pretty merciless.¡± ¡°Oh. Thanks a lot~¡± As I said that, I threw a coin at him, turned around, and walked away. ¡°H-hey, this is a copper coin!¡± The geezer shouted. ¡°Well yeah, don¡¯t you know that silence is of gold? A crook like you, who can¡¯t keep his lips sealed, can¡¯t possibly get his hands on gold this easily.¡± ¡°G-going by what you said, then isn¡¯t speech of silver?!¡± ¡°Unfortunately for you, I don¡¯t have any silver on me~¡± The copper coin came as change from the crystal gear¡¯s shopping two days ago, after all. I continued to do the same with at least half of the servants in the old man¡¯s residence, before calling it a day and heading back to bed.
Author note: I''ll probably write another chapter before going to bed, just like yesterday~! Why don''t I fuse them together, and simply post them together as one big chapter? Well, first of all, i''m busy. Second of all, seeing that word count in the far bottom left of my screen makes me lazy. I can''t write a chapter more than 2k words without getting lazy~ 11. Mommy, mommy, Whats a Pedo-monster? You might be asking the question, why did I question tens upon tens of servants the same question, that would, without a doubt, yield the same answer -- or in this case, information? Well, to explain that, I must first tell you that a certain strategist once said, ¡®Luck is an essence in strategy. You can calculate every single step, but luck is what keeps that said calculations in plan! Without luck, perhaps you couldn¡¯t even make the first step in your strategy¡¯ And yes. Yes that was a quote from a crystal game, alright? So where was I...oh yes, explaining my master plan! Why exactly did I ask them the same question, and did the same trick on them(The copper rather than gold)? Well, there was a key word I said before letting them answer. ¡°I did something horrible to the duke¡¯s grandson, something really horrible. So please, don¡¯t try to hide anything, would you?¡± Now, whether they get angry enough to tell the duke that I did something horrible to his grandson--Which will fuel his anger for revenge--or not tell him at all, depends really on luck. What I¡¯m basically trying to do is simple. I¡¯m trying to make blood rush into his head. Of course, I¡¯m totally dependent on the fact that he cares about his dignity...if he turns out to be underhanded, someone who doesn¡¯t care at all, then I¡¯ll truly be screwed. Now then, shall we go take a tour around the most crowded, high-end streets in this corrupted capital?
It¡¯s been two days since my beloved grandson has been shamelessly humiliated. Within these two days, I realized many things. First of all, I questioned the twins who were childhood friends with Alastair, and it seems like...well, it seems like he was having them help him do many, many things that I should have punished him for. This is perhaps the most disgraceful thing to have ever happened to me. Who would have thought that my spoiling would produce...such a disgrace! But that¡¯s beside the point. As long as he was bellow the surface, then I really don¡¯t care. Also, based on what the pair of twins said, they escorted two women. Alastair was planning to assault the red haired one, only to somehow pass out, wake up in the middle of the street, wearing her dress. I have already disowned that disgrace of a grandchild of mine--even if most of the fault is within myself--and sent the dress to a well known tailor in order to tell me it¡¯s source. That all happened two days ago. I am now currently impatiently waiting for the identification of the dress to be complete... ¡°Lordship!¡± A handsome, blue haired middle aged man entered my study without even knocking on the door. He looked a spitting image of Alastair, but, well, older. This person is my son, and Alastair¡¯s father, Reynold. I awaited a couple of seconds for him to catch his breath, before saying, ¡°Speak.¡± ¡°L-lordship, i-it seems like we caught something!¡± I quickly stood up, ¡°Did the tailor identify who manufactured the dress?!¡± Reynold shook his head in denial, ¡°No, your lordship! Instead, it seems like a young, red haired lady was caught by our information web!¡± Isn¡¯t that the same description as the woman who tricked my grandson? ¡°Does she have black eyes?!¡± I couldn¡¯t help but impatiently shout. This matter is too much of a disgrace to me! I need to end it as fast as possible. ¡°Yes, yes your lordship! She does indeed have black eyes!¡± ¡°Fuuu~¡± Finally, I found her! She appeared! If it is indeed her, then let me end her pitiful life before she could do any more damage. And I thought she would hide. ¡°Where was she discovered?¡± Reynold looked conflicted for a bit, and slowly dropped a bombshell, ¡°In the Archduke¡¯s residence!¡± ¡°Eh?¡± I slowly took in a deep breath. The Archduke¡¯s residence? Can I truly attack a place like that? This isn¡¯t a matter of dignity at all, it¡¯s a matter of life or death if I attacked the archduke¡¯s private place of residence! I would be executed for treason! ¡°Q-quickly, tell me her relationship with the Archduke!¡± I doubt the archduke has a daughter, nor can I see her as a relative either... What exactly is her relation with the archduke? If her roots are too intertwined with the Archduke¡¯s...I can only turn a blind eye! I refuse to do so!! ¡°W-we don¡¯t know...we do, however, know that she has no blood relation to the archduke at all! In fact, her backgrounds is unknown!!¡± Unknown, unknown...so it¡¯s a gamble? Too risky, too risky, too risky!!! I ended up slamming my hands into my new table, reducing it to dust yet again, ¡°Are you telling me that I can¡¯t restore my honor?!! Do you know how hard I worked to raise my grand and noble dignity? do you!?¡± It took me years of painstakingly hard work, working the mysterious and cool old man image! And for what, you might be asking? For charming the court¡¯s ladies, of course! Don¡¯t you know that the nobility boast the best beauty in women? Be it soap, perfume or make up! They can get it all because of their status and money!! And, of course, they taste the best as well!!! I¡¯m already in my seventy first year, but I¡¯m as lively as a forty years old! No one can please mature, nobility better than I do. And that¡¯s all thanks to my strong, noble and mysterious image! If not for them seeking excitement, then why would they seek me? Reynold fell back on his bottom in sheer fright, and seeing his frightened expression made my own anger subside a bit. ¡°And?! Is she, as I expect, hiding within the Archduke¡¯s mansion?¡± Reynold began to shiver uncontrollably, as if he remembered something right when I mentioned her location. ¡°S-she¡¯s not! She¡¯s strolling about in high-end street!! She¡¯s also...spreading the rumors about Alastair¡¯s incident!!!¡± ¡°WHAT?!?!?!¡± For the sake of being popular...for the sake of tasting younger women... I kicked up the ground, and shot out of the ceiling like a rock flying right out of a catapult. Do you realize how hard for an old man like me to enjoy a dessert? This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.Sure, I can simply buy slaves and satisfy myself with them...but there are simply no good looking ones at all! The only beautiful women who can catch my eyes are that of nobility, and If I were to kidnap one of them...being exposed will be the end for both me and my family! And my very own wife refuses to enter the chambers with me!! Be it a man or a woman, I¡¯ll make them suffer for trying to ruin my night life!!! But somewhere deep within my mind still blamed Alastair for his shamelessness, it kept trying to tell me that it¡¯s all his fault...of course, I suppressed that small voice. I soon reached the high-end street, the street that the girl has supposedly been strolling in. Of course, it only took about three minutes to come from my residence to here. There are two reasons for that. One is that my own residence is close to here, while the second is that I¡¯m relatively fast. ¡°I never thought the saying, ¡®The apple doesn''t fall far from the tree¡¯ to prove this true, duke Arthur!¡± I turned to look for the source of this high-pitched voice, and finally found it. It was a young girl, seemingly fifteen of age. She was extremely beautiful, perhaps one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. It simply proves that...she does indeed have a good future ahead of her. The most distinct feature about her is her deep, abyss like glare. The hatred in her black eyes was really evident, and it seems that there is no way for both of us to back down. ¡°It seems...we both hold a grudge against each other.¡± ¡°Grudge? Grudge about what? Aha, are you perhaps going to do anything to me because of that perverted grandchild of yours? THE CROSS-DRESSING PLAYBOY?¡± As soon as her words came out, all the passersby stopped to look at us. In fact, some even chuckled or giggled as well! Hmph, so what if she¡¯s beautiful. That beauty was what tricked my grandson! That beauty was what brought us disgrace!! ¡°Hmph, an ant that only knows how to talk big!¡± As I said that, I extended out my aura. My own aura is not something formidable, but not garbage either. It took me thirteen years of absorption to finally be able to execute it¡¯s special ability, boost strength, without having to hold my crystal greataxe! Of course, using the greataxe to execute this ability would increase it¡¯s power by around twenty percent--but that boost is clearly not needed for dealing with a simple ant. In fact, my aura alone can easily squash her into meat paste! Alas, it¡¯s a waste of beauty! ¡°What¡¯s wrong, old man? Oh, is it perhaps...do you want to hurt a frail woman like me, in the middle of the street...? Aww, a scary monster! You¡¯re simply a pedo-monster!¡± ¡°Wha--?!¡± The giggling nobles stopped their faint laughter, as they realized the seriousness of the situation. Instead, they began to shoot me disgusting glares. ¡°Hey, I think that girl said that he was Duke Arthur.¡± ¡°Eh? Seriously? Him, a Duke?¡± ¡°I can¡¯t believe it! Duke Arthur is a pedophile?¡± ¡°That is indeed Duke Arthur, I remember seeing him two years ago in the annual royal banquet!¡± ¡°Oh. I heard that he was a strong, noble gentleman...who would have thought he was secretly after little girls!¡± ¡°E-eh? W-wait, t-that¡¯s w-wrong! L-listen to me, s-she¡¯s the one who forced my grandchild to crossdress!¡± But of course, I ended up spiking up more horrors!! ¡°Eh, did you hear him? It looks like the rumor about his grandchild being a cross-dressing pervert was true!¡± I quickly withdrew my Aura, and started to try and explain the situation. ¡°I-it¡¯s all wrong! I-it was all that woman¡¯s fault!!¡± I quickly pointed at the woman. Let¡¯s see you get out of this! ¡°I-it was indeed...m-my fault...!¡± ¡°Huh?¡± The girl began to...shed tears? ¡°I tried to stop him! I really did!! Not only did he forcibly remove my dress and wear it on himself, he even tried to assault me! I had to run outside to find shelter, where he bumped into a female swordsman and was beaten to unconsciousness! That very, very kind swordsman even gave me spare clothes to wear!¡± What...the fuck? I began to look left and right, and all these nobles are simply looking pitifully at the girl. ARRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! So be it, so be it, so be it! My reputation is already ruined, my private life is already ruined, my household¡¯s honor is already ruined! I¡¯m going to go down at any rate, so you little imp...I¡¯m taking you down with me! I instantly raised my Aura to the max, fully intending to crush that succubus of a woman to death. There¡¯s no more turning back! ¡°Kyaaaa~aaah! Miss magician, please hee~eelp!!¡± And just like that, a beautiful woman who wore a long, blue and black jacket dotted with many medals appeared. That uniform is pretty well known in the empire, and is said to be the empire¡¯s trump card. ¡°H-how.......!?¡± The golden haired woman looked furious, as she slowly unsheathed her sword. As soon as the sword was unsheathed, my aura was instantly suppressed. ¡°E-eh?!¡± How is this possible?!?! ¡°This is for hurting...a lady¡¯s body!¡± As soon as she said that, she swung the back of the sword in my direction and I passed out.
¡°Thanks to you, I have avenged my first love.¡± I said to the woman. After that, we returned back home together and met with the old man...only to finally realize that the whole house was simply growing old, and was crumbling down. After that, we moved out to a new mansion, somewhere closer to the main palace. Well, it looks like fate truly didn''t want me to play my games...to even have my own ceiling suddenly fall on me! ¡°Teehee~?¡± As for duke Arthur...well, it seems he went silent after that. I just hope that it isn¡¯t the calm before the storm...*shivers* I¡¯m sorry, old man Arthur!
Author note: It''s my first time writing something like this, so hopefully I did it right. As in, I really hope it was funny... 12. Panties-Kamen! ¡°Ugh..Lady Kai, don¡¯t you think we should visit Duke Arthur and apologize...?¡± I quietly shook my head, ¡°Check.¡± And yes, we are playing chess again. Because last time when I went to check if there¡¯s until sunset, I totally forgot to buy a new crystal gear. I guess blood was truly rushing to my head... ¡°To begin with, woman. He needs a good beating for the fact that he raised such a disgraceful grandchild!¡± The woman made her move, ¡°Ehh...what did he do, actually?¡± ¡°..........¡± Oh...right. I didn¡¯t tell her, did I? C-can it be that the story I told the other day with alligator tears was taken as a fabricated story...? I mean, I know it was all lies...but there was some truth mixed in there somewhere! ¡°...Checkmate!¡± ¡°Ahh...!¡± The woman dropped her shoulder in guilt. ¡°Sigh. I can¡¯t even leave the house after what happened, remember?¡± The woman shook her head in dejection, as she started to reset the board on her own. Earlier, I gave her a handicap with the reward for myself being, her resetting the board on her own. ...What? I should always even the odds against a weaker player? Well, she was the one who proposed it. ¡°...Ugh...¡± These groans... ¡°Listen here, woman. No need to feel any guilt, alright? The guy must have hurt someone before! Look, isn¡¯t he even called a Pedo-monster?¡± The woman replied without even looking at me, ¡°But isn¡¯t that what you came up to call him...?¡± T-this is... ...W-was I really that evil? A-am I that frightening when I¡¯m angry? ...Let us all hope she won¡¯t meet a green mutant, whom she won¡¯t like when he¡¯s angry. ¡°B-but! He was about to assault me!¡± She finished resetting the board, and looked me into the eyes--By the way, she had some tears in the corner of her eyes-- and said, ¡°That¡¯s what happen when you push people over the edge!¡± ¡°...You¡¯re hopeless, Woman. How the hell are you still in the army?¡± ¡°You¡¯re the hopeless one! To preserve the peace of the empire, of course!¡± I chuckled, ¡°So you¡¯re just a justice fanatic...good, good, people like you are the very first to be corrupted by evil.¡± The woman went silent, not intending to continue the conversation as she moved her first piece. ¡°Ugh...¡± ......And she groans yet again! ¡°Listen here, woman. If you want to...we can go visit him right now.¡± ¡°Eh? ...That¡¯s no good, Lady Kai! You¡¯re in house arrest!!¡± But weren¡¯t you the one who suggested that we go apologize in the first place?! ¡°That might be the case, woman, but aren¡¯t we going to do the right thing? Apologizing?¡± She looked conflicted for a moment, before saying. ¡°We¡¯re only going...to apologize! Then quickly return, okay?¡± I-it¡¯s not like I¡¯m totally going outside to buy a new crystal gear or anything, okay?! Hmph!! Although, I am still pissed at myself a bit for referring to myself as a ¡®Woman¡¯ the other day. I totally felt like admitting defeat. Alright, let us not get angry anytime soon. I quickly moved my own pawn, and asked, ¡°So how are we going to leave?¡± ¡°Through the front door?¡± Yeah, and have all the servants see me leave with you? I shake my head in denial, ¡°We can¡¯t do that. In order to lure out Pedo-mo--Old man Arthur, I had to trick most of the servants. I bet they are dying for a chance in passive vengeance.¡± Oops, my tongue slipped there. ¡°Then how do you suggest that we leave...?¡± I shake my head in disapproval over her attitude, ¡°Who do you think I am? I am the protector of the night! The savior of video game lives, and the invisible hero! How do you think I sneaked out of my room in the middle of the night, every once in a while to buy games?¡± Yeah, it looks like she doesn¡¯t buy it with that dubious glare I¡¯m receiving. ¡°Look, Angel,¡± I made sure to say her name, to emphasize my point, ¡°I actually got my hands on a crystal artifact!¡± This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there. For those who don¡¯t know, a Crystal Artifact is an aura-less crystal. Well, sort of. It¡¯s not that the aura has been sucked dry by a human, but rather that the aura is so thick, so pure, so high, that humans simply cannot sense or absorb it! I have absolutely no idea who forges these epic crystals, nor do I know from which grade of monster they came from. And the girl looks even more dubious of myself. ¡°You see, I have this piece of crystal cloth--a cloth embedded with thin, invisible to the eyes crystals--that can turn you invisible!¡± She took a deep, cold breath before uttering, ¡°You are a bad liar!¡± I simply smiled, stood up, and walked to the closet. I opened the closet and took out a panty and returned back to my seat. ¡°You see, putting this on your head will make you transparent!¡± She stared at me in disbelief, truly not able to comprehend what I just uttered. By the way, although I said ¡®I don¡¯t know any magic¡¯ before, I actually do! Just one useless spell. Just one, useless...spell. How did I learn it? Well, if I said from a game...would you believe me? So anyhow, it¡¯s an invisibility spell! How it works? Well, if you stay put, it¡¯ll make you turn invisible. But, if you start walking...you¡¯ll be noticed by anyone who¡¯s actively paying attention. That¡¯s probably one of the main reasons why I only shop late at night...I don¡¯t want anyone to look at me. As I uttered the spells words in a tone that she couldn¡¯t hear, I wore the panties over my head. And viola, I turned invisible! Of course, I made sure not to move. After I made sure that her jaw has been dropped, I took off the panties and disable the spell simultaneously. ¡°When you¡¯re invisible, you¡¯ll also be able to see anything that¡¯s...well, invisible with you. So, if you, for example, are invisible--you¡¯ll be able to see anyone who¡¯s invisible as well. That also means that you¡¯ll be able to see your own body while being invisible.¡± Of course, all the above is bull. Why? Because I don¡¯t want her to suspect seeing her own body while wearing the panty above her head! She quickly took the panty from my hand, and wore it on her head. It¡¯ll looked like a certain super hero... ¡°Woah, I never saw anyone turning invisible right in front of me before!¡± I yelled in excitement. But truly, I was holding back laughter as hard as I could! Since, after all, she just looks like an idiot who¡¯s wearing a panty like a mask Let this be payback. I, who wears dresses, and you, who wears panties for a mask! And thus, me and Panties-Kamen''s saga continues. Will we apologize to the Pedo-monster, or will I betray Panties-Kamen and escape to buy a crystal gear?
Author note: Two months ago, I wrote chapter six of this fiction. Of course, after that, I dropped it. At first, I wrote the first chapter without thinking of either a title, or a story line. I then set a title to be as ridiculous as ever, and finally wrote the finale of chapter one. I then, well, posted it on both royalroad and japtem! Royalroad was amazing, 27 followers the very following day. I continued it, and decided to go over to the serious road. Of course, I failed miserably. Two months later, I deleted the serious, failure chapters, back-tracked and decided to follow the comedy, not-brain-cells-numbing/killing road. Now look at me, I¡¯m in chapter 12! And for those who followed the journey from the start, thank you very much for reading! And for those who followed after I stopped writing, thank you for your patience! And for those who are just reading, thank you for giving this rather humble fiction of about a little more than three stars and a half a go! Please follow--I always wanted to do this once--Favorite and rate me! This is Light, and I¡¯m out~ *Youtube outro in text, simply brilliant, no?* P.S: I might write a chapter today or tomorrow. No, i¡¯m not dropping it again. *The speech sounds like I''m dropping it, no? I''m answering a question before it''s asked!* P.P.S: Woah, sorry if my speech sounded cliche XD also, sorry if it seemed like the author note is longer than the chapter itself~ 13. Isnt That Punishment a Tiny Bit Too Much...? Author note: There are two reason why I wrote this chapter today. One: I had a motivational boost! Actually, two. First, I reached over 160 followers! Second, I went to take a look at the weekly most viewed...and this one made it to, *Gasp*, rank #67! Yay, I''m in the top hundred! Two: I might not have internet connection tomorrow. So, this chapter is tomorrow''s share.
¡°Am I really invisible?¡± ¡°Hm? Indeed you are. In fact, take it off so I can tell where you are at~¡± She slowly took off the panties--she never even moved by the way--And smiled gracefully, ¡°This thing...it¡¯s too precious for me to use it!¡± ................HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Shit, shit, shit, I need to calm down! Must not let my expression change!! I quickly said, ¡°It¡¯s fine, I trust that you will not do anything to it.¡± Anything to the normal panties I mean! I-I must hold on...I-I can¡¯t start laughing!! I end up pinching my thighs, ¡°Indeed. How about this, you get out through the front door while I sneak outside by my own methods.¡± ¡°Eh? Why should I do that...? You¡¯re the only one in house arrest, y¡¯know?¡± ¡°.........¡± Eh? Really...? ..............Think, think, think, think, think! ¡°W-well, y-you see, a-ahhh...umm, Y-yes! I have an important mission for you t-that truly needs the panties to be on you!!¡± And the woman¡¯s eyes instantly brightens up, ¡°Do pry!¡± Ehhh...are you a kid to be excited about the word mission? Oh well, it¡¯s better for myself. ¡°I-I need a decoy in order to sneak out!¡± Ugh, I¡¯m bad under this kind of pressure...please be an idiot, please be an idiot, please be an idiot... ¡°A-also, don¡¯t you want to take t-the crystal panties for a test run...?¡± After taking thing into consideration, the woman began to nod her head rather frantically. ¡°I do kind of want to see people¡¯s reaction when they suddenly get touched, or seeing things moving on their own...like a spirit!¡± Thank god she¡¯s an idiooott~!!! ¡°Will then, would you please put the panties on? So we can start our mission to apologize to Pedo--Old man Arthur.¡± ¡°Alright!¡± And just like that, I somehow convinced her to step outside the door, and start sneaking behind people just to scare them. Of course, I was behind her at all times...why? She¡¯s my decoy of course! She made a complete fool of herself. For example, she slowly walked behind a maid, lightly tapped her shoulder, and when the maid turned around, Angel shouted, ¡°Boo!¡± The maid herself let go of anything in her hands, turned around, and ran as hard as she could. Angel? Well, she effortlessly kept up with her, and...well, she kept creeping the hell out of her! I stood in my place, laughing my ass off. It made me realize that the real world is truly fun--and how stupid the people in it are. After that, she walked toward a butler and began throwing cushions and whatnot at him, acting exactly like a child. ¡®Is she brain-hurt?¡¯ That¡¯s the first thing I questioned myself with. But I quickly came to the conclusion--she¡¯s simply under too much stress, and this is a way to relief it. She continued to play small pranks on the servants like a maniac, up until the head butler showed up. His bald head shined through all the horrors the other servants were going through, as he shouted, ¡°PEEERRRVEEERT!! HOW DARE YOU INTRUDE THE ARCHDUKE¡¯S RESIDENCE!!!¡± In which case, Angel ran the hell away while screaming, ¡°Ehhhhh~ W-why can he see meeee~eeee~?!¡± I, of course, made my way out while the two of them were running around. ¡°Why was he able to see mee~?¡±, Angel asked while catching her breath. ¡°Hmm...maybe because he¡¯s too old? You know, because he might die soon...so he can see things that we two cannot?¡± She looked at me shocked, ¡°I-is that so?! T-then isn¡¯t it bad!!?!?! H-he might die soon!!¡± I quickly laughed, ¡°You¡¯re pretty bright, Angel! Of course, I was just joking. Who knows, maybe the panties ran out of power or something~¡± At this point, Angel obviously took off the panties and returned them to me. ¡°Now then, Woman, do you know where Old man Arthur¡¯s mansion is at?¡± Angel shook her head in denial, ¡°I don¡¯t...¡± [A/N: This is still all within Kai¡¯s Head. He changed his inner monologue from referring to Angel as ¡®woman¡¯ to ¡®Angel¡¯] If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°...Then how are we going to apologize to him like this?¡± We both looked at each other, not knowing what to do now. ¡°Oh, if you¡¯re looking for that Pedo-monster, Hehehe, then I know where he lives~¡± ¡°¡°Woah?!¡±¡± A third voice interrupted us, and both me and Angel looking at the source. I quickly recognized the black haired youth, ¡°Luke!¡± But Angel quickly shouted, ¡°Colonel Luke?!¡± Eh? Luke simply smiled and waved, ¡°Hii~¡± ¡°W-wait a second, colonel?¡± I quickly turned to face Angel, and she answered, ¡°This person over here is, well...the leader of the number one Company, the Wolf company!¡± ¡°.............¡± ¡°I-I see...¡± Luke looked at me, baffled, ¡°Huh? That¡¯s it? You¡¯re only going to say, ¡®I see¡¯ after the big reveal?!¡± ¡°W-well...It is, indeed, rather shocking...but not surprising? Y-you were even able to cast spells without chanting...the first time we met!¡± Angel looked awestricken, ¡°Y-you know Colonel Luke...?¡± ¡°Well yeah...He was the one who gave me a tour when a certain someone left shopping for undergarments.¡± ¡°B-but you were the one who left me!¡± ¡°Hehehe, you two are awfully close~¡± Interjected Luke, chuckling. And, well, just like that, we were led to Pedo-monster¡¯s mansion. Luke presented his hands, chuckling, ¡°Here lies the Pedo-Monster!¡± Although Luke made it sound like we were presented tombstone; He actually led us to a really, really huge mansion! Looking closely at the mansion, the street¡¯s name and the number plate hung on wall of the mansion...I came to a shocking realization. ¡°This is Mum¡¯s estate!¡± But of course, my voice was muted by another, rather loud shout. ¡°Who dared to say Pedo-monster?!!?!?!¡± Let me just point out here, becoming a warrior would heighten a person¡¯s senses...and someone of the Pedo-monster¡¯s level could be said to be having super hearing and super vision! And at the same time as the shout rang, something huge fell from the sky. The huge thing was, of course, the Pedo-monster. His body slowly rose, emitting that frightening ghastly red aura of his. Of course, if not for Angel¡¯s protection, I would¡¯ve became mishmash of human flesh. As soon as he laid eyes on both Luke and Angel, however, he shrank down to nothing but a puny hamster. Of course, he didn¡¯t actually shrink down to a hamster, but you get my point. An interesting idea popped up in my head, and I immediately broke a smile. ¡°Hello, Pedo-monster~ I got a question! Are you renting this estate?¡± The Pedo-monster looked at me confused, and then simply sneered. I bet he¡¯s thinking something along the lines of, ¡®If you didn¡¯t have these two here, then a fart can easily obliterate you!¡¯ He, however, did not answer. ¡°Oh...Y¡¯know, a red haired women? A bit violent, but gentle at the same time...oh, and she also lives in a remote town called Amaki!¡± The Pedo-monster still didn¡¯t bat an eye, up until I said, ¡°Well...with a single word from me, and you could turn homeless! Or at least you¡¯ll need to find a new home.¡± Of course, Angel wanted to say something...but Luke stopped her. ¡°So...I want you to punish your perverted grandchild, or else I¡¯ll tell my mum--mother to kick all of you out!¡± The Pedo-monster looked super angry, but as soon as he took another look at the two beside me, he buried it deep down. ¡°I already disowned him,¡± He sneered. Eh? ¡°W-what?! Y-you disowned him?!?!?!!? Wait, wait, wait, wait! No matter what, isn¡¯t that a bit too much? Like, a tiny, winy bit too much? Oh...is it because you¡¯re a pedo?! You¡¯re mad that you only had a grandson rather than a granddaughter?! Is it that?! If he was a she, then her punishment would be sharing a bed, wouldn¡¯t it? Eww, you¡¯re so disgusting!!!¡± A passerby heard what we just said, and he quickly said, ¡°What!? I heard that he was just a pedophile...but if he had a granddaughter, then he would lust after her as well?!¡± Thud! The Pedo-monster, also known as Old man Arthur, passed out! 14. His Holiness, The Pedo-Beast! Well, after the old man passed out, a few servants got outside, sighed, and then carried him back inside the mansion. ¡°...Wait a second, their expression...their reaction...you can¡¯t tell me he¡¯s been passing out every time he left the house, would you...?¡± Luke smiled, ¡°It¡¯s exactly that!¡± Angel, on the other hand, hung her head down...is it from guilt? ¡°Cheer up, woman! Even if you are mostly at fault, what¡¯s there to feel guilty about? It¡¯s all your fault after all...so don¡¯t feel guilty, okay?¡± Aaa~aand she dropped her head even lower. Alright, time to cheer her up for real! ¡°Look...ah! I have an idea to cheer you up...how about we go visit a crystal-stop? I know this one game that will, without a doubt, knock your socks off!¡± Luke, of course, simply raises his hand to his mouth in an urgent need to hold his laughter in. You better not laugh...this is my supreme brainwashing technique! ¡°You...shut up and come apologize with me!¡± ¡°B-bouugh!¡± A punch went through my supreme brainwashing technique and into my stomach! ¡°Hahahahahaha!!¡± And as for Luke, he¡¯s laughing his ass off. ¡°Come on, we¡¯re going in as well!¡± Y-you don¡¯t have to shout at me! ¡°O-ow ow ow ow! N-not the hair, Woman, not the hair!!¡± And just like that, I was dragged inside the Pedo-Monster¡¯s mansion. I-I won¡¯t be eaten alive...w-would I...? The Pedo-Monster is, like, over two meters tall! Me? I¡¯m like, 1.6 meters tall...His body compared to mine...I won¡¯t be eaten, would I...? To begin with, I didn¡¯t get out to apologize to him! I got out to buy a new crystal gear. Last time, I had blood rushing to my head and totally forgot to buy a new one after it broke! And just like that, after going through and explaining our relationship with the Pedo-monster and whatnot, we were finally granted audience in his holy chambers. As soon as we entered, and I saw his holiness bedridden, and my knees couldn¡¯t help but fail me. I bumped my head on the floor in his holiness¡¯s direction, and shouted, ¡°This wicked sinner greets his holiness, the Pedo-Beast!¡± The middle spot of the top of his white, haired skull shined in response. ¡°H-his holiness is too bright.......!¡± Indeed, he is growing bald from the stress! And just in time, a squeaking sound came from behind us. ¡°Why are there people in Duke Arthur¡¯s chambers?!¡± I, of course, recognized the voice. I turned around, only to have my jaw drop instantly. ¡°Y-y-you--!¡± ¡°Who are you?! Why do you have his voice?!?!¡± The guy in front of me is on a wheel chair, and his face is...well...ahh...uhh, saying that it¡¯s disfigured is doing it injustice. Although the voice he carries is the same as that handsome playboy. ¡°I-It¡¯s me! Y-you¡¯re the one...who forced hi----¡± Slap! ¡°It¡¯s you, the pervert who wanted to assault me!¡± Angel still doesn¡¯t know I¡¯m a guy, so shut up! Don¡¯t want her to see me in bad eyes!! Oh...right, wasn¡¯t he disowned...? By the way, he is in so much agony that he simply cannot utter a sound. A soundless scream, so to say. ¡°Lady Kai!¡± Shouted Angel, ¡°How cruel!!¡± Luke has already withdrew from the room, probably somewhere out there laughing. She¡¯s the sort of girl who keeps laughing all the time, huh? Is that the aura she keeps emitting? ¡°E-eh? B-but my slap¡¯s strength is like that of a breeze! All sound and no power, woman!¡± To begin with, he was about to tell my secret! I don¡¯t want to be looked at as a monster anymore, y¡¯know! I¡¯ll totally hole up again, y¡¯know!!! Of course, I didn¡¯t say the above out loud. ¡°W-what are you doing here?!¡± He shouted after calming down. I took looks between the Pedo-monster and him, and then patted his shoulders. ¡°Don¡¯t feel bad because he disowned you! In fact, you should be ashamed to once having a pedophile as a grandfather. No! You should be ashamed to have his blood flowing within your veins!¡± This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. Nodding to myself for doing the right thing, I walked out of the room. ¡°Lady Kai!!!¡± Ugh. Fine. I know I did a bad thing, and as the only adult between these children...I should really apologize. Un, I should set myself to be an example for these pitiful children. I quickly walked over to a table beside the bed, took out a paper and quill and then wrote, ¡®I am sorry¡¯ on it. Then, I did what any other apologetic adult would do, and placed it on the hairless circle in his head. See, I¡¯m doing him a favor as well as apologizing! ¡°Look, Angel, there. I apologized, now let¡¯s hurry or the old man will return!¡± Of course, by the old man I mean the archduke...in which case, to be honest, I totally forgot his name. At one point, the wheel-chaired grandchild also left. I think his name was Alastair, wasn¡¯t it? Although he did try to assault me...well, I already gave him his punishment...but, well, disowning him was a bit too much. ¡°Fine. It seems that you don¡¯t really insist on apologizing, Lady Kai...you can return on your own, I¡¯ll apologize on both of our behalves.¡± ¡°Ehh...¡± I decide to ignore for now, and I walked back to the Pedo-monster. I took back the ¡®I¡¯m sorry¡¯ paper, in which case Angel broke a smile--presumably thinking that I would stay with her--But to her disappointment, I simply wrote on the back of the paper, ¡®P.S: Make sure to acknowledge him(I.E Dis-disown him) Alright? He¡¯s your only grandchild, and he suffered enough already.¡¯ After that, I returned the paper to it¡¯s rightful place, and backed away. I turned around to face Angel, ¡°Leaving him a message is enough. Waiting for him to wake up would take simply too long. You are my bodyguard, so do you intend on abandoning your mission to apologize?¡± Angel, without hesitation answered, ¡°Yes. I would apologize.¡± ¡°What about me? The last time you left me alone, I was almost assaulted!¡± Angel simply smiled resignedly, ¡°That really was the fault of negligence. But, you have colonel Luke with you outside, so have him escort you back home. Don¡¯t worry, he is at least five times as strong as I am!¡± ¡°Sigh. I just have to apologize with you, right? But I¡¯ll only wait for an hour!¡±
Author Ranting: Spoiler : I''m super tired and this is being posted via my phone''s E tethering! I truly did not plan on writing a chapter today, because my schedule is simply too tight. But! Something really good happened. Did you guys see? A review from this fiction made it to the front page! As in, it made it to the top weekly reviews! #3!! And also, i got more than 170 followers now~ How couldn''t I break a smile? Tell me, how couldn''t I feel motivated? So here''s the only chapter I''ll write today! Am I petty enough to care about numbers? Sure I am! Everyone who tells you otherwise is simply lying. Nothing can bring a writer more happiness than seeing that his work is being enjoyed by a lot of people! Sorry for the long author note, again, but I simply couldn''t help but say, THANK YOU! Also, short chapter again. Sorry! EDIT: Ugh, are you guys getting annoyed? I''m sorry...Haha, I promise, this is going to be the last one! Due to my low self-esteem, i tend to...well, be emotional? More so when the reviews say that my grammar is good. Since, well, my English is self-taught lol. Also, for those who are wondering when the emperor is going to come in place. He''ll be coming right after I finish up with Arthur. The next chapter should actually conclude Pedo-Monster arc, so after two~three chapters! I''m trying to actually write his character down right. Why? Because I don''t want to mess up like last time. 15. Believe Me, I Truly Am Older Than You! The first thirty minute went in a flash, and...well, Angel¡¯s smile was dominating the atmosphere. We, of course, ended up using that thirty minute in silence. After that, another thirty minutes went by. My one hour time-limit was crossed, but I didn¡¯t stress it out loud. I continued to wait patiently, and Angel¡¯s smile continued to grow...well, creepier? Gentler? After that, another hour went by in slow motion. It felt like days, to be honest. Is it that effect? When you want time to go fast, it ends up slowing down...while if you want time to slow down, it ends up running pretty fast. Of course, we both continued our silent treatment. It was simply too awkward. But when another extra thirty minute went by...Well, my patience simply faded out. ¡°Look, Angel, It¡¯s been over three hours. Three hours! He might not even wake up today. So, let¡¯s just leave for now and come back tomorrow, okay?¡± However, Angel simply shakes her head, ¡°No, I simply cannot leave him be. It is also partly my fault...This is a test to see how apologetic I am!¡± I could only frown at hearing that, and was forced to sit back in my own seat. To begin with, does she not realize that I¡¯ve escaped from the old man¡¯s place? Does she not realize that they perhaps already realized that I¡¯ve run away? Ugh. This would only spawn disasters after disasters! And not only that...I actually...still haven¡¯t bought a crystal gear!! I tried to reach out to Luke earlier, but he already left. By earlier, I think it was in about...the end of the second hour? He wasn¡¯t really forced to stay here with us after all. I took in a deep breath to relieve myself from my impatiences, and I truly felt helpless in this situation. If I leave here, I¡¯ll be seen as a heartless, worthless person. If I stay here, The old man will, without a doubt, find out. One of the conclusions he might come to is that, I ran away from home in simple frustration...and am not planning on returning. Even if I did plan on returning, I might be in danger. He will probably send some people to search for me. Although...well, I don¡¯t really see it like that after all. What worth am I to someone? The emperor¡¯s wife? What kind of bullshit is that? I¡¯ve been here for so long, and yet I haven¡¯t heard a single word for the so called emperor. I truly think that there is something moving behind the scenes, but I can¡¯t catch a single glimpse of it¡¯s shadows. Who knows, he might not have even cared to search for me at all. ¡°Sigh. I really shouldn¡¯t be thinking of depressing possibilities. Wait a second, depressing? What is? The lack of attention? ...Did I truly want attention...?¡± It¡¯s really hard for me to accept that I¡¯m slowly changing even without myself hardly noticing. ¡°Why don¡¯t you head home, Lady Kai? I can stay here by myself and tell him that you stopped by. Not only that, you waited many hours for him to wake up in order to apologize!¡± I turned to face Angel, who was still gently smiling, ¡°Believe me, I really want to do it. But...well, even I have my own morals. As the puppeteer of this incident, how could I let my puppet apologize while I head home?¡± ¡°Aww, what a harsh way of putting it...a puppet, huh. I don¡¯t believe that you have the cold heart of a puppeteer, Lady Kai.¡± I slightly chuckled, ¡°Well, you don¡¯t know anything about me...nor do I know anything about you. But, how can I let a woman of your caliber anywhere near a monster--a beast, such as Old man Arthur? You simply don¡¯t know, but he is used to wolfing down married woman!¡± I did my own digging after all! But they were simply all rumors I¡¯ve heard from the servants back at the Old man¡¯s house. Angel turned slightly red, ¡°Indeed, w-we only know each other for what now...a week? And to begin with...I¡¯m not n-nearly as beautiful as y-you...L-lady Kai...¡± I-it would...simply be too awkward If I told her that I¡¯m actually a guy... I truly curse this body of mine, but I don¡¯t regret having it at all. It could be better, true, but I can¡¯t regret something that I didn¡¯t have a hand in. ¡°Well, even though I look like this, I¡¯m actually nearly thirty years old...¡± Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site. ¡°...........H-huh?¡± The redness in her face instantly disappeared, replaced by extreme disbelief. ¡°I¡¯m not lying,¡± I smiled, ¡°This body of mine...well, I truly do not know what¡¯s wrong with it...but I think that it runs in the family. Heck, my own mother looks really young! Even though she should be looking like a grandmother!!¡± Angel closely studied my expression, ¡°I dare not to believe it,¡± She quickly answered. ¡°Although you might sound mature...you could still tell jokes like these.¡± ...It seems she really didn¡¯t believe me. ¡°Well, it¡¯s up to you whether you believe it or not...well, what I said really isn¡¯t that far off from the truth.¡± ¡°E-eh...B-but doesn¡¯t that simply mean...that you¡¯re older than me? N-not that I believe you or anything!¡± She seems to have received a shock. I guess even she would be worried about her appearance, eh? Women everywhere would always be jealous when someone looks younger than their actual age! ...But I¡¯m a guy! *Cries!* ¡°U-umm...E-excuse me...¡± We both stopped our conversation there, and the young Pedo-beast appeared in his wheelchair. ¡°Eh. Before you say anything, Alastair...Why doFn¡¯t you have a healer look at you? Those sorts of injuries should be healed in mere hours with their help!¡± Alastair looked troubled, but then broke a wry smile, ¡°Well, Esteemed Grandfat--Duke Arthur is too ashamed to show me to the public eye.¡± Angel instantly stood up, ¡°Is what you just said true? He¡¯s refusing to treat your injuries?! Please, can you tell me why?¡± Alastair looked really flustered as he pondered on how to answer Angel--it honestly looked a bit funny to me. ¡°...W-well, he is...really ashamed of my behavior...so he banned me from going outside. I also can¡¯t meet anyone aside from the servants...¡± I actually felt a hint of pity toward this young man. He had to go through all of that, no? But as soon as I remembered that he was going to assault me--and perhaps he assaulted many more before me--That tiny hint of pity disappeared completely. Angel clenched her fists in what I presume to be anger, and asked Alastair, ¡°So what did you want to ask us, Lord Alastair?¡± ¡°W-well...U-umm, I-I was asked to tell you that you should leave...because i-it¡¯s getting late...¡± Angel nodded, then walked behind the wheel chair and began to head toward the exit. ¡°Huh? Angel, weren¡¯t we supposed to apologize...?¡± She answered me with her back facing me, ¡°I only apologize to human beings. Those who do not care about their families are no human beings! They are simple beasts.¡± And walked away. Are you telling me that even you have a twisted side inside of you? I can guess that one of your family left you when you were young...no? ¡°Wait a second, if you¡¯re not going to apologize...then where are you going!?¡± ¡°To the healing center!¡± She shouted. And just like that, I wasted four hours of my life on nothing...and not only did I not get anything, when I returned back home...I got severely punished! No more games! Not even chess! Even If I end up buying a crystal gear, it¡¯ll get confiscated almost immediately! Why do you wonder I know that? Because he confiscated the one I bought on my way back! I separated from Angel, and returned on my own! Not only that, I¡¯m now really grounded, with people guarding my door to make sure I don¡¯t leave. People, this is what happens when you have good will within your hearts!
Author note: I ended up catching a fever, because yesterday I had a long drive from school to my friend''s house. The outside world is not for the likes of me...just a little bit of tiredness made me catch a fever! So, I really wasn''t in the mood for writing. But, I really didn''t want to stop writing. So! I ended up finishing the arc with character development(That I hope I didn''t screw up!) rather than comedy. Why? Because I really couldn''t think of anything funny. P.S: I MADE IT TO THE TOP 50 MOST VIEWED OF THIS WEEK! RANK #49 NOW! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! 16. ...Let Us Forget Our Grudges...? ¡°So bored. I¡¯m so bored!¡± It¡¯s been three days since we went over to the Pedo-beast¡¯s place, and all of my games were confiscated. Truly, you only realize something¡¯s value as soon as you lose it...I miss chess, I miss chess oh so much! From now on, I¡¯m totally going to appreciate everything I have. ¡°That¡¯ll teach you not to run away again.¡± Exclaimed the old man. Don¡¯t worry, old man. I shall get my revenge in due time! By the way, we are both sitting in opposing chairs. As you have guessed, it¡¯s the place where we usually play chess...although, the chess board is missing. Instead, there¡¯s a tray with two cups of tea. One for me, and one for the old man. ¡°To start with, when are you going to get me to my so called ¡®husband¡¯? I haven¡¯t heard from the emperor ever since you brought me here! And it¡¯s been almost a month!!¡± At least if I were to ever moved into the palace, I¡¯ll be able to get crystal gears! Although I really hope that the emperor is a woman just like Luke. I really do! I really, really hope that¡¯s the case. ¡°Well,¡± The old man smiled wryly, ¡°We¡¯re a bit busy, dealing with the various factions within the palace before introducing you to the scene.¡± ¡°Oh...The nobility?¡± I mean, I can¡¯t think of anybody else aside from nobility. Is it their refusal to accept a commoner as the emperor¡¯s spouse? The old man shakes his head, ¡°There¡¯s that...but to be honest, it¡¯s the church of the thirteen saints!¡± ¡°The church of thirteen saints?¡± Of course, by that question, I didn¡¯t mean for him to think that I didn¡¯t know the church of thirteen saints. It¡¯s a church that worships...well, the thirteen saints--or heroes--who defeated the demon overlord and unified the continent! The leader of the thirteen saints was also the first emperor--he was rewarded the seat because of his superb achievement of having the biggest hand in eliminating the demon lord. The old man sighed, ¡°It¡¯s truly a pain in the arse! Do you know what they want? They want to have their head priestess to marry the emperor!¡± ¡°...And...?¡± I don¡¯t really see a problem with that. ¡°You don¡¯t understand at all, do you? By having their head priestess marrying the emperor, the church will have it¡¯s roots within the royal family!¡± ¡°Again, and...?¡± Wasn¡¯t the church formed, to begin with, by decedents of the thirteen saints? What¡¯s the point of mixing, for example, the second saint¡¯s blood with the first¡¯s? ¡°Are you really that stupid?¡± Did this old man just call me stupid? Me? ME?! ¡°You¡¯re the one who¡¯s stupid! Idiot!! What does mixing the blood of one saint with another signifies?!¡± The old man was taken a back for a moment, and then as if he realized something, ¡°Oh! It really escaped my mind, but the church wasn¡¯t really formed by the thirteen saints of their descendents, you know?¡± ¡°Pfffffffft!¡± And a bomb has been dropped! I ended up spitting all of that tea on the old man. The old man pursed his lips in disgust, ¡°Hey! What the hell are you doing?!¡± ¡°What am I doing? You just broke one of the rules I call common sense, and you ask me what I¡¯m doing?!¡± The old man ¡®hmph-ed¡¯, ¡°Their roots are simply too deep. Too deep.¡± I took another sip of my tea to change the taste within my mouth, when the old man dropped yet another bomb, ¡°Because I¡¯ve known this since I was a child, I took it to be a natural truth. Of course, the masses have all been spoon fed lies. Oh, which reminds me, you can¡¯t tell people about this, alright? Not only will you be sentenced to death in the name of baptism, you¡¯ll also be labeled as a liar and be hated by the masses!¡± ¡°Pffffffffffft!!!¡± You freaking old man! If you know that telling me something as dangerous--as controversial--as that, then don¡¯t fucking say it to begin with! Ugh, I¡¯m not going to die, am I? T-there are no spies here that will tell on me and get me killed...are there? Oh, for fucking sake, aren¡¯t almost all of the servants here are my enemies?! ¡°Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second! I think I understand the problem here...are the church trying to deepen their roots even further by mixing their blood with the royal blood line?!¡± ¡°You arsehole, don¡¯t you dare ask my anything anymore! You¡¯ll only be spitting that whole tea pot worth of tea on me at this rate!! Put down the tea cup, then we¡¯ll continue talking.¡± The old man said, quite angry to be honest. It¡¯s just a little bit of tea, no need to get emotional over it... I put down my cup of tea, after making sure I take just one last sip of it. I, of course, swallowed it. What? Did you expect me to spit on him yet again? I do realize that it¡¯ll be hilarious, but even I do realize that the time is not right for these jokes. Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.After finishing up with the cleaning of his, rather old face, he looked down on his clothes disappointingly, and then at me with both disgust and contempt. ¡°The church already holds the hearts of the commoners. The nobility themselves are going to be content with money and women, so I doubt they hold any regard to the safety of the royalty. After all, they are simply too drunk on peace. loyalty is something of the pass, you might even say. I question that if the emperor and the head priestess married and had a child, that child will, most certainly, become a puppet for the church.¡± Ehhh...then aren¡¯t the church like the total bad guys here? How Ironic, is all I can say. The ones who are supposed to be the most pure, the most courageous, the most selfless and the most heroic are actually all greedy bastards, eh... ¡°Then why not have the emperor take another wife? And have her child become the emperor?¡± Won¡¯t that totally resolve the whole problem? ¡°It¡¯s really not that simple. As I said before, the church grasps the hearts of the commoners! They can simply say that the emperor--or in this case, the previous emperor--conspired against the good will of his ancestor, and the person who has both bloodlines of the saints--one from the emperor and the other from the church--is the legitimate emperor! They¡¯ll through a coup d''etat in the name of the saints and truly become the rulers of the continent!¡± ¡°...Or even worse, have the continent split up to different kingdoms and duchesses and whatnot...¡± The old man nodded in satisfaction, ¡°That¡¯s basically it.¡± Wait...if that¡¯s the case... ¡°...Then why me? Why did you kidnap me from home to marry the emperor? You could have chosen any random noble¡¯s daughter, than a man like me!¡± The old man sighed, ¡°That¡¯s true...but the emperor requested it himself!¡± ¡°...........¡± Doesn¡¯t that mean that the emperor is gay?! But I¡¯m not gay! ¡°Sigh. My clothes are in ruin, and my body feels super uncomfortable...I¡¯ll go have a bath and change clothes.¡± Quickly muttered the old man. Of course, I was able to hear it ever so faintly. ¡°Well then, I¡¯ll be going now.¡± As he said that, he stood up and began to walk toward the exit. As for me? I quickly cast the invisibility spell in a voice he can¡¯t hear, and exited the room before the door could close after the old man. The old man continued to walk toward his own chambers, and I followed in tow. As he started to climb the stairs to the third floor--this new mansion is composed of four floors by the way. My room is situated in the second, while the old man is on the third--I noticed a few young maids passing by here and there. And by a few, I actually mean a lot. At least more than ten. To put it simply, the perverted old man has situated a lot of young maids within the third floor. And right at this instant, I pulled down on his trousers. ¡°W-woaaaaah!!¡± He fell face first on the stairs, and his underware was visible for all the young maids to see. It was clearly noticeable that the young maids looked at the old man and his naked legs in both astonishment and confusion, before hurriedly leaving the scene. Why, you might ask? The answer is really simple. Because they can¡¯t hold their laughter any longer! It¡¯s mere stupidity to laugh at your boss--especially if he can have you and your family executed with a single word--no matter what! I could faintly hear their laughter in the distance. Remember people, a grudge can run through ten generations! Mere three days is nothing at all compared to that. Oh, and this was also for him telling me sensitive information! ¡°A spirit, eh...or was it a pixie?¡± The old man suddenly exclaimed. ¡°Whoever you are--whatever you are, let me tell you something. I have a very particular set of skills. Skills that will make you cry in anguish with the mere thought of them, skills that will make you dream of nightmares in the middle of a bright day. A particular set of skills that will let me find and...kill!¡± His exclamation sent shivers down my spine, and while he was still facing the stairs...I made my run for it! What the fuck man, I didn''t kidnap your daughter or anything! All I did was embarrass you a little in front of your little, cute maids! H-he didn''t catch a glimpse of me...right? I-I was invisible...r-right? Indeed, grudges run through ten generations...I truly hope that this saying is false!
Author rant: Still can''t think of anything really funny to write, lol. I wonder if this a writer''s block? On other news, I got my hands on the ps4 game, Mad Max a few hours ago. How exactly did I get it a few days before the release? Magic, people, magic! (To be serious, it''s more like I got the right connections.) 17. Hmph, Beauty Has no Gender! ¡°Your imperial highness, about the head priestess...¡± Ugh. Are we really going to discuss this again? ¡°As I¡¯ve said before, I already have a wife in mind. Not only that, as a gentleman, I will also refrain from accepting any mistresses or concubines! No matter how many times you ask me, my answer will not change one bit!!¡± The irritating bald bastard simply refused to back down, ¡°But! As an imperial emperor, your Imperial self should take a wife with the same standing as your imperial self! The same status!¡± I shook my head in retaliation, ¡°You simply don¡¯t understand, do you? Who do you think I am? Do you want me to get you and your family executed for treason? How dare you try to force me into changing my mind about my own spouse choice! Are you suggesting that I simply have no right to have feelings of affection? Or are you suggesting that me, your emperor, simply does not have good taste?¡± ¡°B-but...!¡± This guy...Is it because I¡¯m too kind? Is it because I haven¡¯t murdered anyone since taking the throne, that they think that they could push my buttons? ¡°You are dismissed! Leave, or you will not blame me for what I¡¯ll do.¡± The irritating minister that came to convince me--yet again--into marrying the head priestess of the church bit his tongue, and then left. Of course, frustration was very evident within his eyes. ¡°Hmph.¡± I quickly took out a crystal hub and opened it up, revealing a transparent screen in the middle of the air. a crystal hub is a crystallized machine that records, receives and sends information over distances. Be it in text form, audio form, still pictures or video, it receives them all. I quickly typed down ¡®Right Minister of Justice: Quinton Stefan.¡¯ And all his information came up. The end of this crystal hub is linked to the the head of the information department manager¡¯s, and everything he records will be sent to my own crystal hub automatically. I ignored the things about his birth¡¯s origin or his climb to authority, and scrolled down to the end of the transparent screen. ¡°He was offered five pure priestesses in exchange of convincing me...¡± I, of course, had the information department investigate him. They easily discovered the reason why he desperately is trying to convince me into marrying her. I quickly typed down the following, ¡°Find a reason to fire him.¡± and clicked send. I can always forcibly make fire him, but the church will, without a doubt retaliate. Finding reasons such as corruption is always better. Also, I can¡¯t use the church¡¯s bribery to him as an official reason...since...well, they have over three quarters of nobility in the palms of their hands. Doing something that will put a stain on their name would bring me an immense headache. ¡°Hmph, perverts deserve to die. Although...my hands are tied here.¡± I sighed. The church¡¯s fangs are simply too long. I can¡¯t move carelessly, or they¡¯ll use every wrong move I do against me. Tell me, who would you believe? The so called apostles of the saints, or your emperor? You don¡¯t pray to your emperor in the time of need, do you? You pray for the saints! What I need is, to eliminate their people from within the palace without having it linked back to me. But would that be easy? ¡°This stress is simply killing me...¡± I¡¯m nineteen this year, yet I¡¯m the emperor of this continent. Even though in name only. I think I¡¯m going to go bald... ¡°No matter. I should probably start reliving my stress...¡± Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. As I said that, I quickly operated the crystal hub to receives pre-recorded video feed. There, a beautiful red haired beauty appeared. She seems to be drinking tea with an old man. ¡°My beautiful goddess, you are the only one for me!¡± Yup, perverts should all die. looking from a far is by no means a perversion. It¡¯s a way to ensure that no man approaches my own spouse! Meaning, it¡¯s not perversion but protection!! ¡°Oh, my beautiful goddess! Even when you spit tea on my right hand(the archduke), I can feel your love for myself on my own right hand!¡± The video feed continued for a few minutes, and then the old man got up and was about to leave. My goddess simply smiled wickedly as she slowly turned invisible, and followed him. The live feed in her room began to change, switching from one video feed to another, following the old man. Just as the old man was climbing the stairs, he suddenly tripped and his trousers fell off right in front of the young maids. At this point, I completely lost it. ¡°Hahahahahaha!!!¡± This, right here, is the only source of reliving me of stress! My goddess is, of course, the funniest there is!! Her pranks are both elaborate and made to make people laugh. Of course, my favorite being when she ruined Duke Arthur¡¯s public life by branding him as a pedophile. His expression was simply priceless! That¡¯s when I heard a sudden knock on the door, ¡°W-wai--¡± And before I could continue, the door to my own study was opened. Of course, the person who entered was none other than the underwear old man. I quickly operated my crystal hub and closed the video feed. Oh, but the archduke--Uncle Audrey sighed, ¡°You should mess with that thing only in your own chambers, emperor.¡± I replied, ¡°None of your business!¡± Uncle Audrey laughed with a ¡°Hahaha,¡± before continuing, ¡°If you¡¯d like, I can send over one of my maids...after all, doing the real thing is way more times better than watching it from moving pictures!¡± Hmph. So he thinks I was looking at sexual intercourse earlier? ¡°Are you sure? Because I¡¯m seriously thinking that you¡¯ll send me a few steps of stairs instead of a cute maid!¡± Uncle Audrey looked taken a back, and it took him a few minutes to piece together what I meant. Of course, I had a very hard time holding in my laughter. ¡°I-I think Uncle is g-growing old...mistaking some steps of stairs for a cute maid! N-not only that, taking off your trousers in the middle of the day, in front of everyone and even doing it face f-first...!¡± Uncle Audrey¡¯s face instantly turned red from fury, ¡°I simply tripped, you brat! At least I¡¯m not into a man who¡¯s dressing up as a girl!¡± Is that your best reply? ¡°Hmph. Uncle, you simply don¡¯t know me well, do you? I am a person who appreciates beauty! That perfectly sculptured face, that high nose and those thin lips! Skin as pale as snow, and hair as red as a fiery flame! Her chest is flat yet soft, her butt is small yet firm!! Her figure is so slim that even girls will find her enviable!!!¡± Uncle Audrey simply sneered, ¡°But she is a man!¡± ¡°Man or not, true beauty is still there! Hue hue hue, I simply cannot wait until I meet my goddess! Judging someone by their gender is a very old fashioned way of thinking, Uncle! If you can insert your dong into stairs the middle of the day, in front of every young maid in your household, then am I not allowed to admire a hilarious goddess from afar?¡± 18. MY KAI COLLECTION IS GONE?!?!?!? ¡°Your imperial majesty! I, Archbishop Leo, requests an audience!¡± And with that, I paused the video file. This was the message I had on my information hub this morning, when I went to check on my goddess. As for how that corrupted Archbishop found out that I linked my crystal hub to that of my information chief, and send it there to reach me...I truly wonder. To be honest, it¡¯s not that hard to figure out since it¡¯s pretty practical...but yeah. ¡°Oh, right, there¡¯s still more...¡± ¡°I heard that you fired your right hand of justice, is that correct, your imperial majesty? Although it is a pity to relief someone of Sire Stefan¡¯s capabilities. In fact, I feel pity for you as well. After all, he managed to do the unthinkable! He set a an explosive within your Crystal device that activates two minutes after opening any sort of video file.¡± Haha, like hell that¡¯s true. I got this crystal hub of mine on me at all times. Who knows if someone finds my Kai Collection would do after all... ¡°Oh...what? O-oh, alright. It seems that what I just said was incorrect, your imperial majesty. It seems that Sire Stefan actually set the explosive onto the other end of that device. Of course, he implied that he did all of that after he copied everything from it...Oh my, look at it, it¡¯s been a minute and fifty seconds...¡± Eh? The crystal turned dim! ¡°Wait a second...if he copied off everything and then destroyed the crystal...be it spies, our hidden forces locations and numbers...and MY KAI COLLECTION!¡± He got my Kai collection, my Kai collection, MY KAI COLLECTION!!!! I stormed out of my chambers, yelling, ¡°Stewart! Get me Archbishop Leo right this instant! Let him meet me in my audience room!!¡± I quickly took off to the audience room after changing. My audience chamber is the proudest room in the whole continent, consisting of sixteen opposing pillars made of gold with a tint of the highest quality of crystals, giving the golden pillars a hint of crimson. Of course, the pillars themselves exclude an imposing presence, making sure that all within the room behave in the presence of their masters. On each wall leading to the grand throne that was made of swo-- ...No that¡¯s not it, glas-- ...Shit, that¡¯s not it either... [A/N: The first one is easy to get since the series is so popular...but the second?] To be honest, we did have a crystal throne a few hundred years ago, but it was stolen by god knows who. Now, we only have a normal throne that isn¡¯t unique and impractical at all. Remind me later to get some sculptor to sculptor me a throne. Why a sculptor? Well, I¡¯m not planning on sitting on it, now do I? Don¡¯t you realize the fashion which exists within this world of impractical, cool looking thrones? So where was I? Oh, right, the walls. On the walls hang various pieces of paintings, painted by master painters of every emperor to date. Starting for the first, all over to the one hundred and ninth, my grandfather. My own painting would be hung after I leave the throne...this is the kind of tradition that goes through the royal family. As soon as I sat on the normal, red colored--it¡¯s color is red, matching with the walls which are also red. Surprisingly enough, the ground are pure white--The large doors swung open with a bang! as a short, middle aged man entered. Ugh, this guy is the Archbishop Leo. ¡°Greetings, your imperial majesty.¡± As expected from the corrupted church. This Archbishop simply did not kneel before his ruler. ¡°Hmph. I request that you return all the things that you¡¯ve stolen.¡± These arse sniffers are a real pain to deal with. If I made that guy disappear, then they¡¯ll point their fingers at me. If I simply fire the guy, he will ¡®seek¡¯ revenge at me. By the way, if I were to describe the Archduke in a single word, it¡¯ll be ¡®Dog¡¯. Oh, not that he¡¯s royal...But that he¡¯ll hump probably anybody. He basically gained his status by bribery...oh, I meant generous donations. The Archduke curled his lips, ¡°What do you mean by stealing, your imperial majesty? We simply caught a spy that tried to do harm to our empire, our home! Of course, everything that he has stolen will be returned...although...¡± Black mailing me, is it? And as if in cue, a figure opened the door yet again and slowly entered. ¡°This subject presents herself to his imperial majesty!¡± Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.This figure, bowed slightly as she said that. ¡°Ughhhh...¡± Oops, that escaped my mouth by accident... Both the Archduke and the woman who just entered had their expressions twitch. ¡°Head priestess, what brings you here? I don¡¯t remember inviting you.¡± Of course, the reason why she¡¯s here is pretty obvious...but for courtesy¡¯s sake, let¡¯s hear it. ¡°Do I have to visit my husband-to-be with a reason behind it?¡± The woman smiled. Ugh. I feel like throwing up. Why? Because a pig would look a hundred times better than her fat ass! As a person who appreciate beauty to the highest level--the level that transmigrate even gender--and totally ignoring any plotting, conspiracies and whatnot...for them to try and force me to marry this small eyed, pig nosed, fat lipped, elephant eared monstrosity should be plucked out of this world! Thinking more and more about it, I immediately brought the barf bag that I always have on stand by next to the throne up to my mouth and barfed the breakfast I just had before watching the video. ¡°Blueeeeeeeeeh!¡± Both the Archbishop and the Head Priestess looking disgusted for a split second, before hardening their expressions. Of course, nothing escaped my eyes even while I was barfing my dear guts out. This is all your fault, dammit!! ¡°O-oh d-dear...d-did you have a bad breakfast, m-my dear e-emperor?¡± As soon as I finished clearing my bowels, I looked straight at this monstrosity and uttered, ¡°Indeed, it all turned sour as soon as I laid my eyes on you!¡± The monstrosity looked taken aback for a second, after that...well, it looked like she was trying her hardest to stop her tears from flowing out. ¡°Oh stop with the fake tears. It¡¯s public knowledge that you slept your way to your rank, or otherwise I can¡¯t see why you¡¯re the head priestess.¡± After I said that, the Archbishop snapped, ¡°What did you just say?! Hmph! Don¡¯t you realize that the church are the true rulers of this land? You should thank us that we even let you stay in the throne!¡± ¡°Hmph. I see that she slept with you, eh? A midget of a dog and a hybrid between a pig, an elephant and a bear. Truly, what a pair. How about this, rather than I marrying that thing, why don¡¯t you do it?¡± The Archbishop then instantly erupted his faint blue aura. Oh...did I hit a nerve? ¡°Hey, you monstrosity of a human being. Look, even he took offense at me appointing you as his mistress!¡± ¡°You...shut your mouth!¡± The Archbishop shouted at me as he shot toward me like an arrow. But before he could climb any of the steps leading to the throne, his aura flickered like a candle at the end of it¡¯s life. He held his hand on his knees, as if trying to stand while having a mountain resting on his shoulders. Of course, I knew what was truly happening. He--and that monstrosity--were hit by Uncle Audrey¡¯s gravity spell. ¡°Hmph, a mere fifth aura wants to challenge me and hurt his imperial majesty?¡± Uncle Audrey¡¯s voice rang, and the Archbishop turned into minced meat. Of course, the head priestess was mashed into meat as soon as the Archbishop¡¯s aura was released...it was more like, the line I said was the trigger. At the same time as the bishop snapped, paying no attention to his surroundings, Uncle Audrey released his gravity field spell on the head priestess, making it look like the aura of the Archbishop crushed her. ¡°Hahaha! Good work, Uncle! Did we catch everything?¡± Uncle Audrey nodded, smiling, ¡°Everything was caught on audio-less video.¡± ¡°Hahaha! We finally got rid of her ugliness while putting all the charges at the dog! Not only that, he tried to kill me so naturally, the church can¡¯t blame me, right?¡± Uncle Audrey continued to nod, ¡°Indeed, indeed! Hahaha, they won¡¯t know what hit them when they realize that your ¡®wife-to-be¡¯ was killed! This is exactly why the church shouldn¡¯t let untrained individuals in a status of authority!¡± We both laughed for a bit, ¡°Well then, can you bring anyone to clean this horrible mess, Uncle? Also, make sure to only release the video after the church requests eviden--¡± And as if lightning hit me... ...MY KAI COLLECTION!!!!!!! ¡°--Ahem. Only hand over the evidence to the church after they bring out both Quinton Stefan and the stuff he stole from the chief of information! Also, fire that useless chief of information!!¡± 19. You Should Never Take Shortcuts When Learning Magic! ¡°How is this possible?¡± They refused to return my Kai collection back to me... ...Don¡¯t they realize that I have saved some rare sightings there? Who knows when the next time she¡¯ll do something funny and bold, like accusing one of the great dukes to being a pedophile in the middle of the street... I mean, they did return back the secret information...but not my collection, the most important thing! ¡°Sigh...¡± It¡¯s been three days since that monstrosity and the dog died...and, well, they were replaced pretty much immediately. Not only that, the new head priestess is also aiming for me. At least, this time, she looks a lot better than the previous one...to be honest, anyone would be better looking than her. And of course, those annoying bastards are still trying to make me marry that girl. Hmm...Alright, so be it. ¡°Uncle, bring in Kai.¡± Uncle Audrey smiled, ¡°Are you sure that it¡¯s safe enough?¡± ¡°Are you being sarcastic, Uncle? Actually, you move in here as well.¡± I¡¯m done playing around with the church. I¡¯m done playing around with the corrupt! I will make sure to wipe them out...and take back what is rightfully mine. ¡°I shall take back my Kai Collection!¡± As for the empire? It¡¯ll naturally return to me as well, as a result of me getting my hands back on my Kai collection.
¡°Alright, miss, since you¡¯ll be moving into the palace soon enough, I brought you a magic teacher to teach you a little bit.¡± ¡°A magic teacher...? Why do I need a magic teacher, old man?¡± The old man shook his head, ¡°We both know that Angel is pretty much useless aside from bullying old men.¡± ¡°Hahaha! So you admit that she¡¯s not doing her jo-- o-oh, wait a second...was that an attempt at a joke?¡± I don¡¯t remember her doing anything to the old man after all...she only knocked out the Pedo-beast after all... ¡°Well, either way, we just want to make sure that you can save your own self or at least buy enough time for someone to come save you, alright?¡± I nodded, but then a question popped up in my mind. ¡°Why can¡¯t I get an aura?¡± The old man laughed, ¡°It¡¯s true that anyone can get an aura, but it could take from an hour to even a century to fully absorb an aura! It all depends on your body and your affinity to the crystal.¡± ¡°So let me guess...because it might take a long time, you won¡¯t let me try and learn it?¡± The old man nodded, ¡°Yup. As for your new magic teacher...well, he¡¯ll visit you in a bit.¡± And as if just in time, a knock was heard from the door. ¡°Oh, speak of the devil!¡± The old man got up and ran to the room¡¯s door, opening it. ¡°Miss, I want you to meet the second best mage in the empire, Saint Mage Leafless Stark!¡± The one who entered the room was an old man made from bones and skin. He looked to be over two centuries old, to be honest. His flabby cheeks rose slightly, making his already small eyes disappear, ¡°Nice to meet you, young lady.¡± I bowed slightly, a little bit creeped out to be honest, ¡°H-h-hello, Mi-mister Saint Mage.¡± I realized that my greeting isn¡¯t the best, but...well, it¡¯s the best one I can give right now! After that, the old man took both of us outside for training. ¡°Well then, I shall leave the both of you here and be on my way. If you need anything, just walk past that corner and you¡¯ll find a guard, ask him whatever you need.¡± The place he took us was his beloved garden, filled with both grass, roses, flowers and pretty much girly plants. We both nodded to the old man, and then he took his leave. The Saint Mage laughed a little bit like a skeleton, which scared the shit out of me, before saying, ¡°Well then, young miss, what is your vision of magic?¡± What is my vision of magic, is it? Hmm... ¡°U-umm...I-I think...I-it¡¯s uttering i-incantations a-and sh-shooting out s-spells...¡± To be honest, I wanted to answer ¡®You collect magic power and then shoot it out like pew pew pew!¡¯ just to mess with him...but, I can¡¯t do it. The old man smiled again, and his small eyes disappeared again. Dude, stop doing that, it¡¯s super creepy! But of course, I can¡¯t say that out loud. ¡°Ha-ha-ha, my granddaughter once replied with the same answer!¡± Well, of course she would. It was, after all, the generic answer to that kind of question! Although, it would be more fun if... ¡°My daughter on the other hand answered with, ¡®It¡¯s shooting pew pew pew out of your finger!¡¯ ...Yeah, she wasn¡¯t really that much of a magician. Well, luckily enough, my granddaughter turned out fine.¡± Alright, this old man just read my mind. I was about to think, ¡®It would be fun if the granddaughter gave my imaginary answer...¡¯ ¡°So where was I...oh yes. Your answer is correct, young lady. However, that thinking is really old fashioned.¡± ...Wait a second, did this old man just call me old fashioned? This skinny, bone on skin, two hundred years old man? ¡°Well then, I¡¯ll introduce you to the future, young lady. This,¡± The old man took out a staff from god knows wear--it was taken from his black robe, by the way-- and continued, ¡°Is my master piece. The magic wand M.K. Ultra five thousand!!!¡± His old voice ran out loud, and then broke into a fit of coughing, ¡°Cough, cough, cough!¡± The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement. This old man...he sounds like a fishy salesman! A super bad fishy salesman!! ¡°U-umm, Mister Saint Magician...you aren¡¯t trying to sell me anything broken, are you...?¡± After calming down, the Saint Magician looked at me like I offended him, ¡°You don¡¯t trust me? Then here, hold on to it and see for yourself.¡± He handed me the staff, and as soon as I held it I noticed something. There are five colored buttons on the staff. Blue, red, green, yellow and purple. As I was inspecting the buttons, the old man puffed his skinny chest in pride, ¡°This is my own invention. It looks like a normal staff. In fact, there isn¡¯t any crystal on the top, right? It is actually logged in the middle of the wood, not on the surface at all, so it looks like the cheapest kind of staffs out there!¡± I nodded, not really listening to him at all. ¡°Those five buttons represent the five spells installed within the staff! One is for...¡± He continued to babble about, and I didn¡¯t really listen at all. "One is for disarming, which is blue. The red shoots out a class three magic spell, laser. The green reverses the blue, while the yellow heals. As for the purple, it''s the self destruct button!" While he was talking, I tried to test it out a little... I pointed at the old man as he spoke, totally not noticing my action at all...and then I pressed on the blue button. ¡°W-W-W-W-WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!?!?!?!¡± Without a sound, without some sort of beam, without a warning...the old man turned butt naked. His boney, disgusting, creepy body in full display. Of course, it also included his flabby wiener...! THE HORROS!! ¡°H-huh? E-eh?! What have you done?!¡± The Saint Mage quickly shouted. ¡°Is something the matter?¡± A shout was heard from around the corner, perhaps from the guard that the old man told us about earlier. The Saint Mage quickly shouted, ¡°Hurry up and press the button next to the blue one!¡± And as soon as he said that, I pressed the button next to the blue one...which is the red button. ¡°N-no, the gr----------¡± And a red, thin stream shot penetrated the naked old man¡¯s skull, as a tranquil trail of blood swept down. ¡°D-did I...j-just kill him...?¡± As soon as I realized that, I ran to the old man¡¯s corpse. This isn¡¯t the time to think about useless things such as guilt! I immediately lowered staff and made the old man¡¯s cold, limp hand grip the staff. The guard who was around the corner walked toward us slowly, and as soon as he noticed the naked, disgusting body of the old man, he ran with all his might. As soon as he arrived, his first action was throwing up. After that...well, it took him a while to adjust to the naked old man¡¯s body. ¡°W-what happened here?!¡± ¡°To hell if I know?! He held the staff to his head, and then pressed the blue button!¡± The guard--who looked to be an honest, middle aged man--Quickly grabbed the staff and pointed it at his head. "Hmph, do you mean like this?" Is he trying to scare me by reenacting what happened? Or is this somehow for him to report back to his master--the old man--correctly?! ¡°Wait! Don¡¯t do it!!¡± The old man smiled, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, I don¡¯t have magic power so I can¡¯t really use any spells!¡± As soon as he said that, he pressed the blue button. And...well, he turned naked. The staff won¡¯t take magic power from the caster¡¯s body, but rather from the crystal! I think!! And just like that, the old guard lost his armor and also turned naked. ¡°H-huh? W-WHY?!¡± The middle aged man shouted, compeletly suprised. I quickly shouted, ¡°Get your hands off the staff, the thing is cursed!!¡± The middle aged man didn¡¯t seem to listen to my warnings, shouting, ¡°Hurry, young miss, tell me how to return my armor back! It¡¯s my only one, and it was a gift from my late wife!!¡± Oh...fuck, there goes a death flag! ¡°No, no, no, no, no! You just raised your own death flag, I won¡¯t be speaking anymore!¡± The middle aged man seemed to be holding back his tears, ¡°But...I promised my daughter to give her this memento from her mother when I retire!¡± More death flags!! ¡°I can¡¯t, I can¡¯t, and I can¡¯t!¡± ¡°Quickly, or I¡¯ll mishmash all the buttons!¡± I quickly gave a sigh, ¡°It¡¯s the button next to the blue one. Not the re--¡± ¡°--So it¡¯s the red one!¡± ¡°W-wait, n-not the re--¡± Thud! And the second naked victim fell right next to the first one! This one, however, truly held the staff with it¡¯s tight grip. I quickly made my way out of there, and when I was questioned at a later date about the incident...well, my answer was, ¡°The Saint Mage requested that I leave when the guard appeared, so I don¡¯t know what happened next...¡± and thus it was named the ¡®The Eaten Apple Double Suicide¡¯ incident. The ¡®Eaten Apple¡¯ part probably meant that they...well, tasted each other before killing themselves. Ladies and gentlemen, you should never try to take any kind of shortcuts when trying to learn magic--or else you¡¯ll turn your teacher naked and have him dead! ...Oh, and also gay!! 20. Soft Yet Firm?! So. Well, I think there¡¯s something wrong with me. My view of the world is slowly...well, changing. If you really think about it, I could¡¯ve just committed suicide at any moment in my life and just be with it, no? Well, if not for games that is. Either way, I don¡¯t really believe in some bullshit like the after life, heaven or hell. Gods...well, they simply don¡¯t exist! And if they do, no matter how small the chance of that being is, then they will simply be an entity close to humanity than we imagine! After all, ¡®gods¡¯ are supposed to be nothing more than unemotional wills. Wills that aren¡¯t supposed to be ¡®good¡¯ or ¡®evil¡¯. Yet, why do most people think that god is ¡®good¡¯ rather than ¡®evil¡¯? ¡®Good¡¯ rather than ¡®Neutral¡¯? At least, that¡¯s my view on the matter. An ultimate being should be neutral, neither good nor evil...after all, if he was good then why is there evil in the world? And if he is, after all, evil, then why is there good in the world?[A/N: this is all bull i wrote while being drunk, alright? plz don¡¯t complain about this part...] ¡°That¡¯s why...for god¡¯s sake, would you please let go of my chest?!¡± ¡°Hmm~? Indeed, I do believe that there is no such thing as an all mighty entity. Nay, if there ever were to be one...it¡¯ll most likely be you, my dear Kai!¡± ¡°*Squeeze* *Squeeze*¡± This...well, the one who¡¯s holding me from behind is none other than the so called ¡®Emperor¡¯. I immediately raised both of my hands to grab his¡¯, ¡°Hnghhh!!¡± But no matter what I do...I simply can¡¯t shake them off!! ¡°No use, no use~¡± The emperor simply laughed off my futile efforts, and I totally just looked toward the old man with my intense glare. GET. HIM. AWAY. FROM. ME. The old man simply shrugged off, and then began to read a book. Well, this is ¡®supposed¡¯ to be a ¡®tea party¡¯ in the royal garden at the palace, with just me, the old man and the emperor, Chris. But who would¡¯ve guessed that the emperor is simply a pervert? He sneaked up on me, and grabbed me from behind! He then whispered into my ears, ¡°Greetings, Goddess.¡± And then puffed into my ears. PUFFED INTO MY EARS!!! If that didn¡¯t send shivers down my spine...believe me, nothing will! And that¡¯s how I met this pervert!!!! ¡°Hmm~ hmm~ Alright, I committed their shape into my mind~¡± And with that, he finally let go of my chest. I quickly turned around to take a look at this so ¡®husband¡¯ of mine. Silver pupils and white, ponytail styled hair. To be honest, his ponytail reaches up until his lower back. A slender body, and long eyelashes. Although he might sound girly...surprisingly enough, he looks like a handsome young man more than someone as girly as myself. ¡°Y-you...!¡± A broad smile broke into his calm expression, as he continued to nod to my appearance while vulgarly squeezing his hands. Although I really shouldn¡¯t feel anything at all...but somehow, I feel ashamed! I feel like I¡¯ve been tainted. Tainted I say! But to be honest, I really hoped that he would be a girl...the emperor I mean. The thing is, he does kind of look like one if he dressed right...and his voice is a bit neutral, but y¡¯know? He has that ¡®manly¡¯ aura about him. ¡°Huehuehue~! The real thing really is better than any moving image!¡± I glared at the emperor, ¡°What a shameless bastard. So, tell me, are you a man or a woman?¡± Oh, did you expect me to refrain from asking the most important question? This isn¡¯t a mystery story! If my ¡®spouse¡¯ general appearance is rather neutral, I will of course wonder what his true gender is. The emperor pursed his lips, ¡°Won¡¯t you know in the bed~?¡± ¡°Siiiiiigh!¡± And as expected, he dodged the question! ¡°Hmph, like I¡¯m going to share a bed with someone!¡± The emperor simply laughed, ¡°Hahaha! Well, don¡¯t they say that a no is a yes? All you¡¯re missing is blond hair and twin tails~¡± [A/N: Consent is important though. Without a yes, it¡¯ll be immoral! It¡¯ll be wicked!! You¡¯ll trail off to the path of evil!!!][A/N.2: for anyone who got the reference...here, a cookie! [[Hint: Ultimate Vexation]]] This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work. The old man simply chuckled on the sidelines, as if he¡¯s enjoying the scene more than the ¡®book¡¯ he¡¯s holding. ¡°If you¡¯re going to laugh, at least help me here!¡± The old man did not have his eyes leave the insides of the book when he answered, ¡°Oh? Don¡¯t mind me, continue on. I simply never realized that a book on the theory of magic was this amusing.¡± I bit my lower lip lightly, then turned around to face the emperor, ¡°So, what is your plan by inviting me here? It can¡¯t be just for tea, now is it? How about you start by explaining everything!¡± The emperor rolled his eyes as if I just said something ridiculous. ¡°Are you sure you want to hear me out? Because over here...¡± As he said that, he clapped both of his hands and four pretty maids entered the garden. One maid was holding a tray of snacks filled with every kind of cake there is! The second maid who walked shoulder to shoulder with the first one was holding a tray with three cups filled with tea and a tea put on a side. As for the next two...well, one held a crystal gear while the other held until Sunset [A/N: for those who forgot, it¡¯s the super rare game that¡¯s a parody of until dawn that Kai wanted!] My eyes began to slightly tear up as I looked at the emperor, ¡°Bribing me...! You¡¯re truly wicked!!¡± As I said that, I sped past him and shot straight toward the two maids that held the dearest objects to my heart in a speed simply unimaginable, as the emperor simply laughed in the background in sheer evilness. Kuh...I know that I¡¯m immoral...! But I can¡¯t help it! My brain simply went blank...it¡¯s been for...ever...since I... played a game!!!!! ¡°Clang!¡± What the hell? Just as I reached the maid that was holding the crystal gear, a crisp sound of metal against metal rang from behind me. ¡°Eh...?¡± What I saw was pretty obvious. The tray that was holding the tea has fallen to the ground, and all the cups were of course broken. Including the tea pot. The maid had a savage look on her face, as she held a small dagger that was in a lock with a long sword. Of course, the sword belongs to Angel...who appeared from god knows where. Angel held the long sword with a single hand, while her other hand was firmly gripped another dagger. The second dagger belonged to the girl who was holding the tray of snacks...could the tray of snacks be behind the maid? Because Angel gripped the second dagger with her bare hands, blood was escaping her clenched fist. I immediately withdrawn my gaze from her and directed it at the emperor, ¡°What the hell is happening?!¡± The emperor simply shrugged, ¡°And how would I know?¡± ¡°Bang!¡± ¡°What the hell is happening now?!¡± An explosion sound happened from Angel¡¯s direction, and I almost snapped my neck at how fast I turned to look. A smoke screen was created that barely masked Angel and the two maids, and after a few seconds later, Angel walked out of there while holding on to the two bodies of the maids. She turned around to face the old man, who was still reading, ¡°They¡¯re uninjured and are only unconscious.¡± The emperor smiled, ¡°Those guys are really persistent...¡± ¡°Umm, what was that? How can you all be so calm?¡± The emperor began to advance toward me, ¡°Oh, well, just think of it as a greeting from those who are jealous of you, and yet don''t have the nerve to act in front of me and rather send assassins...But don¡¯t worry, as long as you¡¯re here, we can easily protect you.¡± I glared back at the emperor who is now right in front of me, ¡°Well, do you know where I¡¯ll be absolutely safe? Back home! If you didn¡¯t force my mother to knock me out...God dammit! And also, you don¡¯t sound quite convincing when you¡¯re squeezing my chest yet again, now do you?!¡± ¡°Hmm, hmm! Indeed, this breast is the best!! Soft yet firm!!!¡± 21. Who Will Want To Play a Game With a Trickster?! ¡°Hehehe...it¡¯s been a week. A full week! And I¡¯m finally done! I¡¯ve finally reached the full-fledged ending, where no one died. Hehehe!¡± ¡°And you were also nearly poisoned four times, assassinated by servants six times and secretive assassins brought after you twice...and that all happened without you even leaving this room even once!¡± Ugh, indeed. I¡¯ve spent, what, the last three days pulling an all nighter? And boy was it terrible. Most of the assassinations happened in the last three days after all...seeing that the poisoning failed practically every time. I turned around to face the tired looking Angel, ¡°Well, isn¡¯t it mostly that bastard¡¯s--the emperor¡¯s--fault? You could always bring me the food yourself!¡± Angel¡¯s hair is in utter mess, while her eyes are all baggy and stuff. She honestly looks pretty worn out...is it because she was forced to pull an all nighter along side me? Or was it because of her screams every time a jump-scare happened? Well, she was hiding behind my back pretty much for most of the game...never letting go of her sword, though. Believe me, that was a weird spectacular for myself as well! ¡°But if I left you and you were attacked...¡± ¡°Then, why can¡¯t we send the old man?¡± Angel shook her head helplessly, ¡°He¡¯s a busy man, governing the capital and all it¡¯s nobles...¡± Ehh... ¡°Then, what about the emperor?! He was the one who invited me to this place after all!¡± At that point, Angel broke a wry smile. It¡¯s pretty understandable, mind you. ¡°Well...the Emperor is...well, he can¡¯t exactly service food himself, now can he? He¡¯s the emperor for crying out loud!¡± Ugh...that¡¯s right. Even though that bastard is free enough to come bother me at least twice every day! Heck, he takes Angel¡¯s place behind me and sits down...just imagining what his hands do my chest is making me shiver nonstop! That monster! He has unbelievable strength...I can¡¯t shake him off no matter what I do...even if I wanted to stand up and run! ¡°Oh, goddess! I have heard the calling of my goddess!¡± And with that, the door slammed open. ¡°...Sigh!¡± The emperor quickly got inside the room, and looked at Angel, ¡°You are dismissed!¡± Angel looked blankly for a moment, and then, as if it was a hard pill to swallow, said, ¡°Y-your imperial majesty, but leaving the two of you unprotected...¡± The emperor simply waved his hand, ¡°No need to worry at all, I can guarantee both my protection and Kai¡¯s!¡± ¡°W-wait a s-second!¡± Like hell I¡¯m going to be alone with this freak! I bet he¡¯ll try to molest me... ¡°Angel, stay here!¡± Angel, who have yet to take a a single step, nailed her feet to the ground. ¡°Major Angelina Von Campcolt, I¡¯m ordering you to leave!¡± Eh, Angel is a noble?! ...Wait a second, when she introduced herself, she just said ¡°Angel¡± and not ¡°Angelina¡±...I mean, normally, you would think that no? Well, stupid me actually thought her name is Angel...wait, wait, wait, did she introduce herself to me with that as a nickname? Can it be that she unexpectedly wanted to make friends with me from the very start...? I continued to look at Angel, begging her with my eyes to stay here. She hesitated a bit...before her legs gave in and she slowly retreated outside of the room. ¡°Now then, Kai!¡± Grr, that broad smile! Stop flashing those white teeth! ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Emperor, but I was about to head to bed...seeing that I haven¡¯t had a wink of sleep for the last three days.¡± Now then, let¡¯s hope that he gets a hint and leaves. ¡°Ohoho~ I already know about that! How about this, why don¡¯t I join you? I haven¡¯t really had much sleep for the last couple of days either...¡± ...I just dug my own grave, didn¡¯t I?! ¡°A-ahem, no no, seeing that you, the Emperor, has graced me with his presence...how could I go to bed?¡± The damned Emperor kept his wide grin and said, ¡°Well, we either go to bed together or you call me Chris, Okay?¡± The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement. ¡°Eh?¡± ...D-did he just tell me to call him by his first name? ¡°Well, you see...being an emperor and all, no one is really close to me, you know? No one has been able to call me by my first name! I don¡¯t have friends, I don¡¯t have relatives, I don¡¯t even have...parents!¡± ¡°Aww...what a touching generic emperor story...if only you knocked off that big grin of yours, it might have been a tiny bit more believable, you know?¡± ¡°Hahaha, well said, well said! To be honest, I never really was able to mask my emotions. Anyhow, either you call me by Christ or I confiscate that beloved crystal of yours, my goddess!¡± ¡°Chris!¡± The Empero--Chris, laughed out loud, ¡°No hesitation at all!¡± A sigh couldn¡¯t help but escape from my breath, ¡°Blackmailing me...So anyhow, what do you want?¡± Chris took a step forward and grabbed a hold of my chest, per usual--I already gave up the notion of trying to shake him off--And said, ¡°These are as perfect as usual~!¡± He then looked up at me and winked, ¡°We can always talk about it after going to bed~¡± I take everything back. I grabbed his hands that were grasping at my chest, and pulled down as hard as I could. ¡°Hnghh!!!¡± And with every ounce of strength I could muster...I finally moved both of his hands an inch lower. I then looked at Chris, who simply blinked in disbelief, and a grin couldn¡¯t help but break into my face. ¡°Psych!¡± And then his hands returned to their original position... ¡°...No need. Just hurry up and tell me why you came here for...¡± Chris laughed for a bit while continuing his march of dominance over my chest. After a few moments went by, he finally withdrew both of his hands and stopped laughing...gradually. ¡°I came here to invite you for a game!¡± I tilted my head lightly, ¡°A game?¡± Chris suddenly made a grasp for my head, and began making a mess of my hair. ¡°Gooosh you¡¯re so cuu~uutee!!!¡± ¡°Hey, what the fuck do you think you¡¯re doing?!¡± ¡°Huehuehue, you¡¯re just too cute, Kai! I just couldn¡¯t help myself~¡± ¡°Siiiigh!!!!!¡± If I remember correctly, don¡¯t they say that happiness escapes through a sigh? I have to say, I couldn¡¯t have agreed more! Every time I see this bastard, I end up sighing. And then what happens? I get more miserable, which leads me to sigh even more! What a vicious cycle!! ¡°So where was I...oh yes, the game! Now that you finished your game, I thought you¡¯ll get bored pretty soon...¡± ¡°But I just finished the game literally twenty minutes ago! Isn¡¯t this simply too fast?¡± ¡°Just hurry up and answer me, do you want to play this game or not?¡± I walked over to the bed and took a seat at the edge...This bastard is taking everything out of me. I¡¯m more exhausted after talking to this guy than before he showed up! I can¡¯t believe just having this short conversation with this guy is making me more exhausted than a straight three days of nothing but video games! Christ walked over and sat directly next to me. ¡°*Pat* *Pat* Hurry over here, Kai~¡± I looked over to Chris...and this fucker was patting his lap. ¡°You...¡± And just a look at my face sent Chris on the bed rolling, laughing. ¡°Hahahaha~!! Seriously, Kai, that expression!!!! Hahaha~¡± ¡°Bastard!¡± ¡°In...viting you here...haha! Was probably the best decision I¡¯ve ever made! I haven¡¯t had this much fun since...well, that doesn¡¯t really matter! So you¡¯re in, right? The game, I mean!¡± I won¡¯t answer. Like hell I¡¯ll answer. I¡¯ll never answer! I bet he¡¯ll just find a way to make me even madder. ¡°Hehe~ No need to be mad, Kai~ Oh, by the way, I promise you that the game will, without a doubt, pique your interest!¡± Blah blah blah I¡¯m not listening! ¡°It¡¯s an interesting game! A super interesting game! After all, we¡¯ll be playing against those who are after you~¡± 22. Nothing Beats Normal Life... Author Note: Whoops, ended up double posting the chapter. Sorry for those who were inconvenienced~
¡°So, what kind of game are we talking about?¡± ¡°Well, it¡¯s a game to lure out the whoever is wasting these spies that he planted just for the sake of getting rid of you.¡± ¡°...Spies?¡± What do spies have to do with this? ¡°Oh...well, remember the servants who tried to kill you?¡± ¡°Of course I remember those guys. What type of palace do you run, if even the servants you just hired don¡¯t go through a background check? Hiring undercover assassins!¡± Chris simply smiled under my question, ¡°We haven¡¯t actually hired anyone for a few months, y¡¯know? These guys were here way before I even got you to the capital!¡± ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°Well, me, being the emperor and having both of my parents...well, mysteriously die in a freak accident is proof enough of how turmoil the capital is in, no?¡± ¡°Ahh...I-I¡¯m sorry...¡± ¡°Oh, if it¡¯s about my parents, then you don¡¯t have to bother. It¡¯s not like I remember them, to be frankly honest.¡± Chris shrugged his shoulders...although, the sorrow in his eyes was not masked fast enough, so I couldn¡¯t have helped but lay glimpse to it. Although...well, I really want to ease his sorrow...but, well, we aren¡¯t that close to begin with so be it. It is not the time for me touch the sorrow that¡¯s within his heart. ¡°S-so, what you¡¯re saying is...the one behind all of this is risking his own inside agents...in order to get rid of me?¡± ¡°Bingo!¡± [A/N: who would have thought that bingo existed in this world...] ¡°Then I don¡¯t want to be a part of it at all.¡± Chris looked as if he was taken aback, ¡°E-eh...?¡± Did he just steal my ¡®eh¡¯?! How dare he! But anyhow, ¡°Look, Chris, I¡¯m tired...alright? And to be completely honest, I don¡¯t like playing with people¡¯s lives. Sure, they sent people after me, but look...aren¡¯t I safe?¡± Hmm...I wonder why he looks even more taken aback? ¡°You...don¡¯t like to toy with people¡¯s lives...?¡± Hmm, hmm...why the hell is his expression quickly turning to a one that¡¯s painstakingly holding back laughter!? Soon enough, he swallowed the laughter deep into his body, and coughed once, ¡°I-I can hardly believe that...¡± ¡°Sigh. I just don¡¯t want it to have anything to do with me, okay?¡± Since, after all, I bet it¡¯s all a trap set up by you for the sake of ¡®sweeping¡¯ me off my ¡®feet¡¯. I bet the whole farce with the assassination attempts are all your fault! Hehe, nothing beats resolving a plot twist before it¡¯s revealed. And because I already know about said plot twist, I refuse to follow along up to the point where it is revealed! Sure, it¡¯s irresponsible of me to think like this...but look, I¡¯m tired, alright? ¡°I-I see...hmm, and here I thought I was going to set up a prize if you were to win the game...Siiii~iiiigh!¡± That over dramatized sigh...without a doubt, my suspicions must be true! This whole ¡®playing with my kidnapped victim¡¯s wife¡¯ farce is being planned by him! ¡°...I¡¯m not a kid, so those kind of temptations won¡¯t work on me.¡± I quickly turned back and began to climb to my bed, planning to go straight to bed. ¡°Huh...even though Colonel Luke recommended me buying the fully immersive crystal gear...¡± And with that simple sentence, my neck turned 180 degrees so fast that a snapping sound vibrated throughout the room. ¡°WAIT A SECOND!!! You don¡¯t exactly mean that super expensive, full body crystal chamber than lets you enter the game itself...are you?!¡± ¡°Indeed. Sigh. Truly, what a waste of resources! Rather than using it to create weapons that protects the empire from monsters, they use it to create useless things such as games...¡± What...did this fucker...just say? ¡°Your arse is a waste! This whole palace is a waste! This freaking ¡®crystal empire¡¯ is a waste! Don¡¯t you dare say that about my games ever again!!¡± ¡°Well,¡± Chris got up, ¡°Since you don¡¯t want to enjoy this rare opportunity that I¡¯m offering...I¡¯ll be smashing that toy of yours that I bought, and have it¡¯s pieces made into useful objects such as swords and spears!¡± This bastard! Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!! I got to calm down!! He¡¯s obviously trying to provoke me!!!! Take a breath in, and then breath out. ¡°*Hii Hii Fuuu...Hii Hii Fuuu*¡± ¡°You¡¯re already pregnant with our child, Kai?¡± ¡°........! Bastard!!¡± I¡¯m a man dammit! ¡°Oh, and by the way, I¡¯ll be taking that crystal gear I gifted you last week.¡± ¡°Huh? Why?!¡± Chris smiled gently, ¡°Because you¡¯re not planning to play any kind of game with me, so I¡¯m pissed off...and thus, I¡¯ll be taking back everything I¡¯ve given you!¡± ¡°You...isn¡¯t that called being a spoiled child?!¡± Chris¡¯s smile only turned gentler, ¡°I¡¯m the emperor. If I wasn¡¯t spoiled, then who is?¡± Arrgghhh that sarcastic smile....!! ¡°...Fine, I¡¯ll play into your hand! But, only with a condition!!¡± ¡°Huehuehue~ Even a goddess will listen to your prays if you play your cards right! Oh, in this case, if you pressed the right combination for dealing the perfect combo, effectively stunning her to the point where she can only give up and listen!¡± ¡°...You¡¯ve just cornered me, you ruthless brat!¡± ¡°So, tell me about the game.¡± Chris crossed his arms, ¡°Well, I actually don¡¯t really have anything in mind. Let¡¯s just say that it¡¯s a creativity-like game. Your goal is to find the person behind everything...how exactly you go about it, is all up to you, really~¡± ¡°Oh...okay. Oh, and what type of game did you get me alongside the Dream Crystal?¡± By the way, the crystal chambers is also known by another name, which is a dream crystal. It¡¯s actually called that because of the fact that it only operates when the player sleeps within the crystal¡¯s chambers...so yeah, a dream crystal! ¡°To be honest, I don¡¯t know much about it myself...However, I do know the game¡¯s title. If I remember correctly, it was called ¡®The Winter.¡¯¡± ¡°...............¡± He actually got me The Winter! The Winter is a role-playing game, pretty much comparable with reality. Be it with swords or magic! Although the game¡¯s weapons aren¡¯t crystal but are made of metal, their power is far stronger than crystal swords. It¡¯s story is also quite compelling. It¡¯s about how the dragons launched an attack at the very beginning of winter. You play the role of a villager, who¡¯s village and family have been killed of by the kingdom in one-summer, and how you pursue your revenge against the kingdom...only, at nearing the end, the villager who wished to destroy the kingdom ends up being the one who saved it! Truly, a compelling story!! ¡°Alright, Chris! Where are the assassins that we captured throughout the week?¡± Chris quickly rose an eyebrow, ¡°If you¡¯re planning on interrogating them...I advise you to give up.¡± ¡°Hehe, Chris, don¡¯t you know that as soon as you said those words, you rose my success flag? Now, even if I truly wanted to interrogate them, I¡¯ll succeed! So, please lead the way!¡± ¡°Umm, Kai, I just said this earlier...we¡¯ve already tried everything. We even chopped off their limbs and re-grew them. We even offered them a peaceful life and immense fortune. Yet, they accepted none!¡± ¡°Just hurry up and lead the way. Chopping someone¡¯s limbs off? Of course they won¡¯t tell you anything! Heck, all that pain could¡¯ve just numbed their senses!!¡± ¡°Alright. Since you¡¯re so confident, of course I¡¯ll believe in you, My goddess!¡± ¡°...Aren¡¯t you supposed to be denying the mere possibility of me succeeding until the very end?¡± ¡°Huh~ But isn¡¯t trust the most important thing in a relationship?¡± I quickly got up from the bed and began my preparations, while of course giving a side glance to Chris, ¡°Then why don¡¯t you tell me about your gender?¡± ¡°Hmm...but isn¡¯t it obvious simply by looking at me?¡± ¡°It isn¡¯t! That¡¯s why I asked you!!¡± A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation. ¡°Huehuehue, since you¡¯re this stubborn...you¡¯ll truly have to find out in bed! Who knows,, you might be lucky and I turn out to be a woman~¡± ¡°...Hurry up and lead the way, will you?¡± Like hell I¡¯ll share a bed with someone like you! I¡¯m not one to take chances, you hear!! Soon enough, we decedent quite a few stairways before we finally reached a gloomy wooden door. And by the way, ironically enough, no one even tried to escort the emperor down here...to the dungeons! Is he being bullied? If so, serves him right! ¡°We¡¯re here~¡± And with that a light push, the wooden door creaked open. From within, all that you could see was a poorly lightened room. This room had many doors on both sides of the walls, presumably taking me to a specific cell. ¡°So, the guys that tried to get to you are all held in chambers ten to thirty five~¡± ¡°Alright...¡± I quickly strode off to the left, straight to the wooden door that held a small plank labeled as ¡°10¡± and pushed on it. Surprisingly enough, the door opened. ¡°It¡¯s not...locked?¡± Chris laughed from behind me, ¡°Haha~ Well, if anyone was able to escape from within the insides of the chambers, then this little wooden door wouldn¡¯t really hold them back at all~¡± ¡°Is that so...¡± I quickly entered the room, which was even more poorly lighten than the previous room--or should I call the previous place a hallway? Passageway? Well, whatever that place was. At least in the previous room, you could make out what was written on the doors...but in this room, you can hardly see beyond your extended arm! I heard a clapping sound from behind me, and the room was instantly well lightened. I quickly turned around to face Chris, who was just smiling. ¡°I see that you can use magic as well...¡± And I returned my vision back to the inwards of the room. Within, a solitary chair could be seen. Of course, the chair was occupied by a middle aged man with disarrayed hair. His skin complexion looked a bit pale, and his eyes were bloodshot. However, his expression was strangely calm. The middle aged man¡¯s hands and legs were tightly bound to the chair¡¯s own limbs via circular crystals. ¡°Oh, if it isn¡¯t the princess.¡± Ugh, the middle aged man sound quite mad... ¡°If it isn¡¯t the cook who tried to poison me...¡± The middle aged man broke a furious expression, ¡°And look at you! Aren¡¯t you all fine and dandy? Isn¡¯t that all that matters?! Why the hell are you making me go through all of this?¡± I quickly took a step backward...but then took a big gulp of my own saliva. This is a man who tried to kill me. He¡¯s nothing but an animal. ¡°I-if you talked earlier...then none of this or that would have happened...¡± ¡°Hmph.¡± I quickly took out a simple looking bottle, and began to empty it¡¯s contents on the palm of my hands. Chris simply stood off to the side in the shadows, not uttering a single word...heck, even his breath can¡¯t be heard! If I didn¡¯t enter the room with him, I would probably doubt that he was even in here. The middle aged man...probably didn¡¯t notice him at all. ¡°What are you planning on doing, princess? Are you here to wash my hair?¡± ¡°Hehe, mock me while you still can...You see, I heard that you didn¡¯t break even after having your limbs get torn out, right?¡± ¡°Hmph, that¡¯s right. My lord isn¡¯t someone I would betray in this lifetime or the next one! So what if I lose a limb or two? Pain is only something temporary after all!¡± ¡°I see, I see,¡± I quickly nodded to him, ¡°Pain is something temporary...I couldn¡¯t have agreed more!¡± ¡°So, what are you planning?¡± ¡°Hehe, so you are interested in what I¡¯m planning to do to you! Well, to be honest, what I have in mind is pretty mediocre. It isn¡¯t something as horrible as cutting off your arm or leg...in fact, I bet you had this sort of pain pretty much everyday before you got into this hellhole!¡± As I said that, I started walking to the middle aged man. As soon As I reached up to the middle aged man, I extended my hands to his face. ¡°Hehe, so you are planning on washing my hair!¡± The middle aged man sarcastically laughed. After that, he tried to take a bite of my hands...but unfortunately, the crystals on his limbs tightened and he was forced to come to a stop. My hand quickly reached his eyes...and I gently began to rub them. ¡°Hehehe, this is my secret weapon...Shampoo!¡± Even if you got used to getting your limbs torn apart, there¡¯s no way you could get over having shampoo remotely touching your eyes! ¡°Arrgh....AHHHH!!¡± The middle aged man began to slowly shout--scream in misery. After about three minutes, he finally calmed down. ¡°You...you monster!¡± My body began to shiver a bit, but I quickly calmed myself down as well. ¡°Hehehehe~ There¡¯s no way any person could get used to the pain of having shampoo in their eyes! Believe me, shampooing this long hair of mine gets me to have some of ¡®em in my eyes every single day...and it still hurts up until now and probably into the future as well!¡± ¡°H-Hmph, this isn¡¯t enough to get me talking!¡± Oh, I already guessed that... And thus, I brought a little something with me! ¡°Do you recognize this, my dear friend?¡± The middle aged man took a look at the object at my hand, and he simply sneered. ¡°Isn¡¯t that a chair¡¯s leg? What possibly can you do with that?¡± I quickly lowered my self down, and took off the middle aged man¡¯s shoes. ¡°Oh, you¡¯ll understand the hard way in a bit...¡± And with that, I lightly hit the middle aged man¡¯s toe with the chair¡¯s leg. ¡°A-AHHHH!!!¡± ¡°Yes, hitting your toe on the edge of a furniture is the worst. It hurts so much! Doesn¡¯t it? Sure, it might not hurt as much as cutting off one¡¯s limbs...but, you know, there¡¯s this sort of pain that is simply indescribable. It¡¯s not absolute pain, but it¡¯s that tingling feeling that¡¯s for sure gets to you from hitting your toe on the edge of something or shampoo into your eyes!¡± When the middle aged man finally calmed down again, he looked at me with fear in his gaze. ¡°Y-you...¡± Before he could finish, I took out another instrument. ¡°This, is my master piece!¡± What I held in my hands...was a hot cup of coffee! I lightly took a sip out of it, and it instantly burned off my tongue. ¡°Isn¡¯t it just horrible? Drinking coffee that¡¯s too hot! Sure, having it hot is super great...but too hot, y¡¯know...¡± And with that, I proceeded to making him chug it down. He coughed a few times as he chugged it down, I could already feel the pain he¡¯s feeling from his expression alone! ¡°T-this...i-isn¡¯t...e-e-enough...!!¡± ¡°I-is that so...well, you forced my hand!¡± I then took out the last thing that I had ready. It was a medical pill. It isn¡¯t poison, nor did it actually cure anything. ¡°This, my dear middle aged friend, is a sleep inducing pill!¡± As I said that, I immediately forced it down his throat. ¡°Bgouughh!!!¡± After a few minutes went by, the middle aged man passed out. It took about three hours before he woke up again. ¡°Did you have a great dream?¡± The old man looked at me a bit confused, of course he would. The pill I got him to swallow wasn¡¯t any ordinary pill...it was one hell of an expensive sleeping pill! I had these ordered for me when I didn¡¯t really want to kill myself. What did they do aside from making one sleep? Well, they say that it¡¯s made from some herb-monster that make you able to experience happy dreams...and isn¡¯t it the worst? Waking up from a pretty happy, satisfying dream...only to realize that you returned to reality?! Of course, I can be happy with momentary happiness...but I¡¯ll still get depressed when I wake up. The middle aged man quickly sobered up, and looked extremely depressed. ¡°Will you leave if I tell you what I know?¡± The middle aged man said dejectedly. In the end, normal life is the one that hurts the most! 23. Who Enjoys an Overly Complicated Plot? ¡°My lord...or to be more precise, my lords are the thirteen heroes! Who else would I be willing to serve? The empire? Laughable! The royal bloodline is nothing but a charade! The true, destined rulers are the ones who decent from the thirteen heroes, and none other than them! Their heroic bloodline is the one that should rule this land, not a fake noble blood!¡± ¡°So...it¡¯s the church of the thirteen saints?!¡± ¡°Indeed. And let me tell you a dark secret, princess! Did you know that the first emperor...wasn¡¯t actually any of the thirteen saints? But rather, he was an impersonator of the first saint...the demon lord himself!¡± ¡°So to put it simply,¡± The middle aged man continued, ¡°The church¡¯s goal is to slowly cleanse the corrupt, demonic, ¡®royal¡¯ bloodline by having the saints¡¯ blood mixed in as well!¡± As soon as the middle aged man finished confessing, Chris, who I could have swore that I forgot that he was in this room, began clapping. ¡°Normal life, is it? Sounds exotic! Sound cool! And also sounds heavy~¡± ¡°Hmph.¡± I turned around to face the dimly lit expression of Chris who was still in the only dark corner in the room, ¡°Although these things don¡¯t really hurt much, they are...pretty relatable. To be honest, it¡¯s not the physical pain that made him confess, but rather his longing to the pains of normal life!¡± After all, I have to admit...nothing beats the pain of having your body cut to pieces! And to have magic that can regrow limbs is simply amazing. Not that I know much of magic. But hey, isn¡¯t magic...fantastical? And even if I was urged to learn magic, I¡¯ll probably refuse after that incident. ¡°Unfortunately, my dear goddess...that man is lying!¡± ¡°Eh? Of course I know that much! But the perpetrators should be the church, no?¡± To be frank, I actually don¡¯t care about bloodlines or anything of the sorts. However, since the old man testified that the first emperor was indeed one of the thirteen saints...then of course, I¡¯ll believe the old man over this guy. Not only that, how could the thirteen--or twelve saints if the first one was replaced--permit the demon lord to impersonate the first saint? Isn¡¯t that unrealistic? How could those sworn brethren not know about the impersonation of the first saint? How could they not notice? And not only that, how did the church, who has no blood relation with the saints, know about all of this? It¡¯s just a simple ploy! And a convincing one...to the public at that! Chris quickly shook his head, ¡°The ones behind all of this aren¡¯t the church~¡± ¡°Then doesn¡¯t that mean that you already know the ones behind all of this?! Why didn¡¯t you testify from the beginning?!¡± Christ laughed, ¡°Hahaha~ Of course I won¡¯t give you any hints! Then it wouldn¡¯t be a game, would it? Of course, if you lose in the end, I¡¯ll still be taking away all of your games...alright? I¡¯m not a softy who still rewards the losers!¡± But didn¡¯t you say earlier that you didn¡¯t know anything? ...Gosh! Dammit! ¡°Then the only thing that seems plausible is...that you¡¯re the one behind everything! To be honest, that¡¯s the most predictable twist in my opinion!!¡± Chris shook his head again, ¡°It¡¯s not me either.¡± He then pointed at the middle aged man again, ¡°Ask him again~¡± I turned around to look at the dejected middle aged man again, but quickly returned my gaze to Chris. If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. ¡°Want to know something?¡± Chris looked confused, ¡°Hmm...?¡± ¡°I give up!¡± ¡°Huh?!¡± Chris looked quite taken aback, ¡°What do you mean you¡¯re giving up?! Don¡¯t you want to get your hands on the games? Don¡¯t you realize that there won¡¯t be anymore games if you give up?!¡± ¡°Oh, shut up! Aren¡¯t you the one who¡¯s quite horrible? Giving me a taste of gaming after so long, and then threatening to take it away from as soon as I get satisfied with it! As soon as I finished just a single game! Aren¡¯t you a pretty horrible person? I refuse to play along with you! If you want to take everything away from me, so be it! I¡¯ll just go back home, and you can¡¯t do anything about it!¡± ¡°W-wait a seco--¡± ¡°To begin with, Chris! Don¡¯t you know that overly complicated games don¡¯t have many fans? Sure, some hardcore guys might enjoy it in the long shot...but most of the greatest games are simple ones! Heck, most of those who are called ¡®classical masterpieces¡¯ don¡¯t even have a plot! And yet, you want me to participate in this overly complicated game? I simply refuse!¡± Bloodlines? Heroes? Demon lord? Assassins? Death? I don¡¯t want to have anything to do with any of them! I¡¯m just a neet! God dammit, what am I getting comfortable in this place for? Right, right, I¡¯m getting away from this place! I immediately began to chant the spell for invincibility, and as I slowly began turning transparent...I said to Chris, ¡°See ya, fucker!¡± ¡°Kai, Just wait!¡± Before he could finish, I turned transparent. I quickly got on the ground, and began to crawl around. Of course, since this room is pretty lit...if he pays close attention to me, he¡¯ll find the moving me. So, I got to crawl. I could always take out the candles in the room...but to do that, I have to manually exhaust their flames by hand. It¡¯s not like I can manipulate fire or wind to shut them off. ¡°Kai! Oh, my dear Kai!! I¡¯m sorry, I¡¯m sorry!!!!¡± Chris instantly went to tears, ¡°I¡¯m sorry for trying to play a game with you! I¡¯m sorry for threatening you! Who am I, trying to trick a goddess? I¡¯m not even worthy!¡± As Chris continued on about how apologetic he was, about how many games he¡¯ll buy for me if I return and whatnot...I crawled up bellow him and then lowered his pants while he was slowly walking toward my previous spot. ¡°I¡¯m sorr---Woaaah!!!¡± And with that, he fell face first. The middle aged man, who saw all of this happening silently, began to laugh, ¡°What an emperor you are! Truly, what a demon deserves! You should have considered yourself lucky that the church doesn¡¯t want to eliminate you, but marry into you!¡± I used the opportunity of him falling to get the hell out of the place. Sure, the pants pulling is a method I used previously...but if it does the job right, I don''t mind using it again! However, I wonder why he didn¡¯t look either surprised or confused that I turned invisible...did Angel tell him about my spell? Anyhow, I must leave this place immediately! ...After, of course, I find that dream crystal.
Author note: Oh, god, kai, why didn''t you look at his lower half when you lowered his pants?! You could''ve realized whether he''s a guy or a girl that fast! 24. I Swear, It Was Totally Angel And Not Me! I quickly took off my disguise in order to not waste any energy as I ran outside. I can always create chaos in the palace by releasing the prisoners...but there¡¯s two bad points to that. First, let us not forget why they¡¯re there to begin with. They are there for attempted assassination of none other than myself! According to Chris, it wasn¡¯t by the church at all. So, some unknown power wants me dead! To be completely honest, I¡¯m considering that Pedo-beast to be the prime suspect...right after Chris himself ¡°Oh well, let¡¯s just get the hell out of here and grab my dream crystal!¡± I quickly got past the wooden door that leads to the staircase inside the palace...just in time to barely hear Chris¡¯s ¡°MY GODDEEESS~~~!!!!¡± That sends shivers down my spine! [A/N: as in his MY GODDESS cry.] To begin with, why does he call me a goddess? I¡¯m a god damn guy! GUY! Ugh, I hurriedly chanted the invisibility spell yet again, and continued to make a run for it up the stairs. It took me a full thirteen minutes before I reached the ground level of the palace. Of course, I kept on hearing Chris¡¯s cries along the whole trip up...god dammit! Can¡¯t he tell? I¡¯m wearing jeans! It¡¯s supposed to be s guy¡¯s attire, no?! No...? ¡°Now, the question is...where is he hiding the dream crystal?¡± Frankly speaking, I¡¯ve only visited two places in this humongous palace. I only visited the courtyard...and my own room. I¡¯m sure there is a treasury here somewhere...or, he might have hidden it in his study...or maybe the throne room...or perhaps a room that I don¡¯t know that existed! But, the highest possibility is the treasury! After all, the crystal, itself, is a supreme treasure, If I say so myself!! ¡°UNCLE AUDREY HELP!! KAI ESCAPED!!!!!¡± That bastard still hasn¡¯t given up?! And Audrey...that name sounds awfully familiar... Well, shit. This isn¡¯t the time to worry about names, I should really hurry up because he just called for help!! I continued to run as fast as possible, heading straight toward the top floor of this huge palace. I went through servants who did not notice me from left and right, as I continued to walk down this long hallway. If you think correctly, isn¡¯t the treasury and the emperor¡¯s chambers should be at the very top? Where invaders are forced to go from the ground up...it¡¯s a strategic location, alright?! ¡°Dammit, I¡¯m running out of magic...¡± My body began to slowly flicker, and slowly color began to return to me. A few servants looked surprised at me, or more like shocked and horrified. ¡°......¡± I forgot...My legs soon gave way to me. The horrified servants took a second look at me. Don¡¯t look. Don¡¯t look. Don¡¯t look! As if they listened to my wish, the servants soon came to a realization and ran off. ¡°I got to do something about this trauma of mine...¡± After they left, it took me about two minutes before I was able to stop the shivering of my legs. I quickly got up, and resumed running. ¡°Kai!¡± And just in turn, I heard Chris¡¯s shout behind me. ¡°God dammit, leave me alone Chris!¡± Remember, Kai, how do you stop a horny man from chasing you?! I shouted, ¡°I see that you¡¯ve got your pants on!¡± ¡°No thanks to you, Kai~! Please, can you stop? It¡¯s dangerous!¡± ¡°Dangerous? Dangerous to you!¡± Oh, I got it! I got how to stop a horny man from chasing you!! Give him another target!!!! If you remember correctly, there are servants all around us at the moment--seeing that we¡¯re still at the very bottom of the palace, the servants floor I presume--And there, being a maid next to me, I immediately did the unthinkable! I flipped her skirt, ¡°Kyaa!!!¡± and pushed her at Chris. ¡°Every maid¡¯s dream is having an affair with the emperor, so make sure you make her dream come true!¡± And continued to run off, paying no attention to the result of my efforts. However, I did manage to catch a flustered, ¡°I¡¯m sorry...¡±. Well, I guess if Chris was known as a bloodthirsty emperor then that wouldn¡¯t have been a flustered ¡®I¡¯m sorry¡¯ but a horrific one. Which means, Chris is a great emperor! At least he¡¯s not out seeking for blood. ¡°Careful!¡± The archduke¡¯s old man¡¯s voice rang, when I suddenly noticed a strong gust of wind blowing past me. I turned around, only to notice a small needle stuck in the middle of the air, suspended by the wind. Shit, is that needle poised? Was I about to die? Who the hell threw that needle?! Was it the maid I just flipped the skirt of?!! I began to chant the invisibility spell yet again. If I do turn invisible, I¡¯ll only be able to maintain that state for about ten minutes. Let¡¯s just get our dream crystal and get out of here! Since if I don¡¯t get that dream crystal, I¡¯ll never be able to give it a shot even if I get out of here and work myself to the bone for twenty years! And who¡¯s fooling themselves. Me, working? ¡°Kai, stop! The palace is infested by people who are after your life!!¡± Chris shouted. ¡°Then I¡¯ll leave without anyone even hoping to catch a glimpse of my shadow and head straight for the treasury!¡± And with that, I turned invisible for the third time. The gust of wind stopped howling, and the needle fell on the ground. The old man suddenly appeared ways ahead of me. The invisible me is now cornered. There¡¯s the old man in front of me, and the maid assassin and Chris behind me. And it¡¯s not like I can break through walls either... ¡°I...didn¡¯t want to come clean,¡± The invisible me said, ¡°But Old man, Angel told me a secret...¡± The old man didn¡¯t speak, but rather narrowed his eyes as he began to pinpoint the location of my voice. ¡°You see, I introduced her to this spell of mine...and she, in a fit of drunkenness of power, decided to play a prank on you!¡± The old man took a step forward. It seems he noticed my exact location. The old man then raised his foot to take the second step, ¡°She told me how, while you were climbing the stairs, she lowered you pants! And you fell face first in front of all the female servants, extremely humiliating yourself!!!!¡± Before the second step could be taken, the old man¡¯s calm expression turned crimson! He¡¯s angry! Super angry!! Hyper angry!!! ¡°Don¡¯t move!¡± The old man¡¯s thunderous shout echoed. His body shivered for an instant, and he disappeared! Almost as if he teleported!! Alright, coast cleared! ¡°Uncle!¡± Chris shouted, ¡°At least do something about this maid!¡± The maid, of course, be it an assassin or not, wouldn¡¯t dare to even touch a hair of Chris¡¯s. However, she didn¡¯t stay still at all either. She quickly got up, still flustered, and ran pass Chris further away from the two of us. Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.I walked slowly in order to not alert Chris of my location, in which case Chris resumed running and got pass me pretty soon. Hehe, since I said earlier that I¡¯m heading to the treasury...I hope that he gets a hint and heads there himself! And with that, I started stalking behind Chris, who was heading to god knows where. I just really hope it¡¯s the treasury. Quickly enough, about five or six minutes in, we reached a huge door. ¡°The door doesn¡¯t seem to have been unlocked...¡± So this must be the treasury then! Okay, now how do I force him to open it up?
Author note: To be honest, I don''t usually write drafts. Why? Because I feel like drafts are too much effort...And I don''t even have enough time to write a 1.5k chapter a day either! But anyhow, I ended up tired yesterday. And what do you do when you''re tired? You end up doing stupid things! So, I actually wrote a chapter yesterday and I woke today...feeling quite dissatisfied about the draft. So I re-wrote the whole thing. However, because I''m bored, I''m going to post this draft here. Just keep in mind, the draft and the actual chapter above ARE NOTHING ALIKE. for example, the draft took a huge turn of events. So, enjoy~ Spoiler : ¡°Thankfully, because that middle aged man took about three hours to wake up, it should be around early evening. Which means, I¡¯ll be somehow covered even while moving...¡± As I said that, I gave up the notion of either crawling or slowly walking, as I am currently running on my top speeds. To be honest, I¡¯m considering letting all the criminals out...just to spread the chaos. I mean, escaping in the midst of chaos is a great plan, no? And people, do believe me, no matter how ¡®weird¡¯ or ¡®illogical¡¯ my escape was...what I hate the most is simple things that shouldn¡¯t be complicated! Or more like, my tiredness has lowered the bar of my endurance and my anger from sexual harassment has simply overflowed...but either way, I¡¯m angry! I want to return home, to my fluffy bed!! Of course, after taking that dream crystal, as I mentioned earlier. But...there¡¯s one problem here. I...don¡¯t know how a dream crystal would look like. Hey! Don¡¯t look at me like that, it¡¯s not like I¡¯ve seen one myself before! It¡¯s like, too expensive and stuff! I¡¯ve only heard of it over at the magazines...and those guys didn¡¯t even print any pictures with their articles! And when they do, they always post the Representative of the people who created it! So anyhow, what I got to do now is release all the prisoners and then somehow find how the dream crystal looks like and take it. ¡°Sounds like a great plan, if you ask me!¡± Alright, first, how the hell do I release all these criminals? ¡°Oh right!¡± Those crystals, how do they work? ¡°MY GODDESS~!!!!¡± Shit. The bastard has recovered! Fuck, where am I again?! I got room five to the right and room six to the left... Which one should I duck into?! Oh, who cares! I quickly got into room five, and closed the door behind me. ¡°...Oh wait, aren¡¯t I invisible...? Shoot, I could¡¯ve just stayed still and he wouldn¡¯t have noticed a thing!¡± ¡°Oh...who is there...?¡± Hmm...? This...oh right, I¡¯m in a jail cell. But this elderly voice... I quickly turned around, to look at the white haired, pale faced old man. The old man had a black cloth covering his eyes, perhaps denying his eyes to the world. Or...it maybe that the world is denying his eyes. ¡°Hmm...old man, perhaps this is fate!¡± And as long as games are concerned, people who meet under these kind of circumstances are always destined to be comrades that you can trust your life with. The withered old man revealed a gentle smile, ¡°What is a little lady such as yourself doing here...? Don¡¯t you know that this is quite the dangerous place...?¡± ¡°Oh, me? Don¡¯t mind me at all.¡± I smiled sweetly, ¡°Rather, old man, don¡¯t you want to leave...?¡± This is a gamble. A gamble that I have to win! If games taught me something, then having the protagonist meeting someone in a jail cell, who looks kind, acts kind, and seems practically harmless...is someone who is extremely powerful! My gamble is pretty simple...whether he¡¯ll help me...or not! The old man kept his gentle smile intact, ¡°Not at all. Frankly, this room...is quite to my liking.¡± Aha! This further proves my theory that this old man is highly overpowered. He is relaxed in an environment such as this! With a crappy wooden door as his cell¡¯s gate...but whatever! ¡°Young lady, I truly think that this isn¡¯t a place for someone like you. So let me advice you again, can you please leave?¡± The old man kept his gentle smile. I walked toward the old man and removed the cloth from his eyes, and his smile deepened as he took a glance at me. But I don¡¯t know if it was a twist of fate or what not, the door broke down and what entered was none other than Chris himself. ¡°Get away from him!¡± Chris shouted. ¡°Leave me alone! I¡¯m going to get out of here!¡± I then cast a side-glance at the old man, ¡°And you can¡¯t stop me!¡± Hehe, he¡¯ll break out of those handcuffs and save me from the big baddie! Then, I¡¯ll go search for the dream crystal and get the hell out of here with this old man as my bodyguard! The old man, however, simply continued smiling. ¡°Hurry up, Kai!!¡± And just in time, the old man broke the cuffs off his legs and hands. When I saw that, I shouted, ¡°I¡¯ll be leaving now, Chris~!¡± I turned my head to look at the old man with a smile, ¡°So, how about we leave?¡± The old man continued to smile back at me, ¡°You...somehow, you have the smell of a boy.¡± I replied, ¡°Of course, I¡¯m a guy after all!¡± That¡¯s when the old man¡¯s hands suddenly made a grasp for my body, ¡°H-hey, don¡¯t you think the way you¡¯re holding me is a b-bit rough...?¡± Chris then dropped the bombshell, ¡°This creepy old man was arrested for infiltrating the palace and trying to molest one of the children of a maid!¡± ¡°E-eh...?¡± ¡°To put it simply...he¡¯s a true pedophile who enjoys children! And his thing, according to the report...is crossdressing boys!!!!¡± 25. The Return of The Phantom Panties! Okay, now I know where the treasury is. Chris just took a meaningful look at the door, before sighing again and then walking away. Without a doubt, he¡¯ll be shouting ¡°Goddess~~!!!!¡± Throughout the palace...god dammit, I totally hate that homo-emperor! After making sure that the emperor went away, I released a relieved sigh and quickly canceled the invisibility spell yet again. After all, I only have enough magic to keep the spell running for four more minutes...and my recovery is a bit on the slow side. A thousand times slower than the consumption. J-just a tiny bit. ...Okay, I admit it, I don¡¯t really have an aptitude to magic, alright? However, I also don¡¯t expect that many people know any invisibility spells either. So hmph! ¡°However...¡± I took a complicated look to the side, ¡°...I did not expect that it was this close to my room...¡± Yes. The most important place in this whole castle, the place that has the most treasure in this world, the place where it is basically the solid foundation of the empire, and the place where it also might hold some artifacts from the thirteen saints. Who would have thought...that the room, right next to it, was my very own! I quickly walked a few steps next to the giant door over to my own, tiny, humble brown door that¡¯s made out of a rather fancy elven wood. ¡°Who would have thought that the giant door that I really never paid attention to; Never even mentioned before; Never even crossed my mind before, was actually the treasury¡¯s!¡± I gently pushed on the door as I mumbled my doubts on exactly why Chris never really came to check my room, simply running off in the opposite direction. At least he would have had a shred of doubt, won¡¯t you agree? ¡°Whatever. Let¡¯s hurry up and find my battle panties...¡± ...Eww, that just sounded like something else! N-no, I don¡¯t mean like ¡®Battle panties¡¯ as in Battle panties But rather...ugh, you¡¯ll understand soon enough! I quickly walked to the closet and took out a familiar looking pink panties. Honestly speaking, all of the ¡®Panties¡¯ provided to me were pink. ...I have a feeling that it¡¯s someone¡¯s fetish. Anyhow, I picked a random panty and then closed the closet. ¡°Okay, now to find--¡± ¡°Bang!¡± The door was suddenly slammed open, which made my body jerk into action. The action was, of course, getting on the floor with maximum speed while trying to appear as small as possible. ¡°Kyaaaa~!!¡± No one will harm a small person! I look like a child--fifteen years old--after all!! A-and no, it wasn¡¯t me that uttered that girly cry!!!! ¡°L-lady Kai!!¡± ...And speak of the devil! I quickly looked up to the frantic looking Angel. Angel immediately responded with a forced smile. She urgently walked to me, and extended her palm in order to help up to my feet. ¡°Thanks.¡± I replied to her with a smile. Angel appeared as if she didn¡¯t hear what I said as she looked lost at what I was holding in my other hand. Yes, she looked lost at none other than the panty that I grasp within these delicate hands of mine! ¡°W-what¡¯s the matter...?¡± Alright, let¡¯s give acting another try. Let¡¯s do it, let¡¯s do it~! I¡¯m sorry Angel, but this is for the sake of my well being. Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll work it out with the old man before leaving. So you better dance to my tone, okay?! Now let us wait for her to say the magic words. ¡°U-umm...F-for some reason, the archduke is after me...!¡± She bit her lips as if she was going against something inside of herself. Can it be that she¡¯s ashamed from asking a favor from me? That shouldn¡¯t be it... ¡°Oh...c-can it be...you want this...?¡± As I said that, I opened my palm and extended it for Angel to get a better view of what¡¯s within. Even though she already saw what it is, I really need to play my ignorant part. ¡°Yes!¡± Angel nodded frantically, ¡°Indeed, I really need it to even have a chance against the archduke...I¡¯m not that powerful after all...I can only rely on underhanded means!¡± Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation. I made sure to make my expression go a bit ugly. My lips began to slightly quiver as my eyes began to waver. ¡°I-I was just about to use...¡± I then looked a bit conflicted, and then sighed. ¡°Never mind. H-here you go, Angel...¡± Angel, in return, had an ugly expression. Truly, this expression is ruining her image so far...oh well, it might as well has been ruined from the very start. After practically ten seconds of nothing but silence, she finally sighed. ¡°Never mind. I don¡¯t know what is up with the archduke...but it¡¯s probably just a misunderstanding!¡± Her eyes looked resolved to do anything. She looked determined to jump into the tiger¡¯s mouth, so to say. She turned around, planning on getting out there and fight it out with the archduke. ¡°W-wait!¡± I shouted, ¡°Since you are also being sought by the old man...please, take this and take care of him for the two of us!¡± And then I threw the panty at her. Angel looked confused. But that confusion was cleared up almost immediately, and was replaced by both delight and the reoccurring determination. ¡°Yes!¡± She shouted again, as the rims of her eyes began to tear up. Ugh...I somehow feel a tiny bit guilty right now. Oh well, guilt won¡¯t be able to get me my dream crystal, now would it? So, let¡¯s quickly bury it to the back of my mind. Now then...let¡¯s see. Hehe, let¡¯s hope that she will be able to truly turn into Panties-Kamen... She then slowly wore the panties on her head... ¡°...Fuu...¡± She exclaimed as her face became devoid of expression. My eyes looked at her with both anticipation and urgency. I should win an award for acting, won¡¯t you agree? ¡°A-angel...Do you f-feel like you can scare the living daylight out of the old man, and then b-beat him...?¡± Two seconds went by after I said that. Angel looked to be extremely calm. This isn¡¯t going as planned! Dammit, are you telling me that she doesn¡¯t feel the urge; the will of the panties...? Ahh, are you telling me that she doesn¡¯t feel anything at all!? As my thoughts were sent to a turmoil, a sudden change happened to Angel that calmed them down in practically an instant. ¡°Huehue...¡± A lewd grin appeared on Angel¡¯s face! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Haha! ¡°I-it seems y-you...are r-ready...¡± I tried my best to hold back my laughter while looking at the perverted Angel, who had panties on her head. Angel nodded while the lewd smile still crept on her expression, before she turned around and left. As soon as she closed the door behind her... ¡°...HAHAHAHA!! Fuck yeah! It worked!!¡± I fell to the ground laughing. ¡°I knew it! Not only were a full week of nothing but scary games made her super stressed--more so than last time, the old man being on her back trying to hunt her down...made it even worse! She is now more immersed in her alter-ego, Panties-Kamen, than last time!! Kehahaha!!!¡± I truly couldn¡¯t stop laughing!! ...And now, we only have to wait for the two of them to battle it out!!! ¡°...Wait a second, my plan was to have the two of them battle it out in front of the treasury¡¯s room...¡± As soon as that thought escaped my mind...all of my laughter came to a halt. ¡°Shit, she left the room!!¡± Doesn''t that mean that she won''t stay near this place because I never hinted at it?! I let loose a perverted spirit that wants to scare people(And also to battle it out with the old man) loose! Dammit, she could be anywhere at this point!! Now not only do I have to lure the old man here...but Angel as well!!!
Author note: Woohoo! Our very first battle chapter is going to come up pretty soon! Isn''t that exciting? Also, I''ve removed the hiatus thread because I don''t like none chapter-ish topics to be on the feed...so yeah, I''m still busy with the midterms. Sorry for the short chapter even after the long period of no chapters...on the bright side though, five more days before I''m done...? 26. If You Want Invisibility So Badly, Then Why Didnt You Say So!? This is bad. This is really bad! I really need someone to open up the treasury in order to get my hands on that dream crystal! There¡¯s no way I can go through the barrier that¡¯s protecting the treasury, nor is there a way to convince that pervert, Chris, to do it! The plan that I just came up with on the spot, and that is having Angel and the Old man duke it out utterly failed, by setting loose the stress-filled Angel! ¡°I knew it, I shouldn¡¯t have let her watch me play that horror game!¡± It stressed her up really badly... I ran to the door and opened it. As expected...she¡¯s nowhere to be found. ¡°God dammit...Should I leave now in the midst of chaos and never turn back...?¡± I released Angel into the wild, got the old man on both of our tails, and the Chris going back and forth searching for me. Not only that, I also have assassins aiming for me. Furthermore, my plan was to get out of here with a dream crystal, something that I could only hope to get in my dreams. It¡¯s so close, in the next room to be exactly. Yet, it¡¯s so far... To begin with, I never would have been able to recover it. Even if I somehow got through that barrier and opened the door, and was somehow able to get my hands on the dream crystal...How would I be able to move it around? It¡¯ll be, at least, twice my size. I think. I mean, I got to fit inside it right? Since I need it to sleep within the dream crystal in order for it to immerse me inside the game. To begin with, life is more important that games...Without my life, how would I be able to play new games... I took a step back and collapsed on the floor, with my back facing the cold wall. This...is so unlike me. ¡°Alright, now that I¡¯ve tried my best to disillusion myself...Really, I can¡¯t do this at all. I can¡¯t let go of my greed. I want it, I want it, I want it! Even if I were to die, I still won¡¯t regret it! I would rather die than not being able to make my dream come true!¡± My dream of becoming the hero! My dream of becoming popular! My dream of being a main character! My dream of not being useless! My dream of becoming a man, not this abomination of forced cross-dressing! No more! No more will I be played around! No matter who is after me, no matter who stands in my way, I will get my hands...on anything games related! I¡¯ve embarrassed a duke! I¡¯ve done it! Publicly humiliated him! I tricked an arch-duke as well! The logically step up in the challenge would be the emperor, no?! ¡°Ugh...I feel like throwing up...¡± I can¡¯t do this after all. I can¡¯t trick myself into giving up, nor can I succumb into the illusion of being able to achieve something. I feel like, I¡¯m being watched by countless eyes. I know I¡¯m being paranoid, but I really would barf at any moment now. Thankfully though, for the past few weeks, I¡¯ve gotten used to the feeling of being watched. I am somehow able to be myself out in the open. ¡°Alright, I need to be moving quickly.¡± If I¡¯m to be moving alone, I will be needing that. I slowly rose to my feet with the help of the wall, and sprinted outside the room. I need to save up on my invisibility magic for later, when I encountered any people. I can¡¯t be wasting it right now. Unlike normal magicians, I can¡¯t meditate in order to recover magic power. It all recovers naturally. It¡¯s a problem with me not being able to understand how magic works at all... ...To be honest, I still don¡¯t know how just saying the words I repeated from a game made me learn invisibility. I could have explored it further with an offensive magic, and believe me I tried. It never worked for some reason. Perhaps the invisibility spell was something special, inserted into the game for those who are lucky enough to discover it? ¡°I shouldn¡¯t be escaping the current situation by trying to reason the first thing that comes to mind...¡± I shook my head to get back my focus. ¡°I need to head to the old man¡¯s room as fast as possible.¡± Before anything happens at least. I took a few turns until I came up to an ordinary looking door. It looked exactly like my own room¡¯s door. Well, that doesn¡¯t really matter right? ¡°I really hope that he isn¡¯t here... Yup, he has to be outside looking for Angel. Has to.¡± After taking a few breaths in and out, I gently pushed the door. I expected the cliche, where the door would make the loudest noise in the whole wide world...however, contrary to my expectation, it easily slid open. Way too easily, in fact. ¡°Crap...Can it be that someone is inside waiting for me...?¡± Another cliche attacks me. However, my hand has already been rested on the door. The door is already in the process of opening. It¡¯s too late to stop it. I can only cross my fingers and hope for the best! It¡¯s do or die right now!! ¡°...Phew.¡± It seems like no one is inside. I enter the place like it¡¯s my own room, and close the door behind me. Hmm. The room is considerably large. Probably larger than my own room. The door that I¡¯ve just entered through took me straight into the reception room. Inside the reception room, there are two doors parallel to each other on either walls to my sides. Why I¡¯m calling it a reception room, is because there is a couch and a table in the very center of the room. Expensive paintings are dotting the walls, as if its owner wanted to brag to the world that he was rich. Then again, this is the emperor¡¯s Palace. More so, this is the city¡¯s archduke¡¯s room. ¡°Now then, where would I find something that the old man would be researching...¡± I decide to take a shot and take the door to my right. I proceeded into opening the door and enter the room. What greeted me was a grand bed that was at least five meters wide. I took a look left and right, and wasn¡¯t able to find the thing I¡¯m searching for on the desks or tables. ¡°Can it be under the bed...?¡± I took a shot and walked to the bed. I need to be quick about this...I don¡¯t know what Angel is up to nor do I know when the old man will be returning. Even worse, what if someone comes to take my life? ...What if Chris decides to check the old man¡¯s place just in case I was here? ¡°Ew...¡± As I hurried my steps to the bed, I noticed something on top of it. It was black, women¡¯s undergarments. ¡°That perverted old man will probably die soon with all of this action...He¡¯s not an animal, dammit. He should act more like his age...¡± You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version. But then again, he would be passing away doing what he loved. And as if in response, the whole Palace shook. ¡°AHAHAHAHAHA! YOU LITTLE GIRL THINK YOU¡¯RE ENOUGH TO FACE ME?!¡± I broke in a cold sweat. This is definitely the old man¡¯s voice... ¡°Did he find out that it was me?!¡± Or did Angel meet up with him!? I mean, his voice could be echoing throughout the Palace, right? ¡°YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!!!!¡± The old man voice rang again. This time around however, the Palace truly shook. ¡°Shit!¡± I shouted, ¡°They¡¯ve started fighting!¡± I think! Probably! Why else would the place shake! But thankfully, it wasn¡¯t me! The various paintings fell to the ground, but I stood my feet. ¡°I really need to find that thing and get the hell out of here as soon as possible!¡± It¡¯s not in the bed! That means its in the other room! I turned back and ran into the other room. The other room was set up like some sort of a workshop, with various devices I¡¯ve never seen before. The room itself was pretty large, and could probably house at least a hundred people with no problem at all. But that doesn¡¯t matter. I found the thing I was looking for on one of the numerous tables, picked it up, and decided to get the hell out of there! ¡°This isn¡¯t the time to describe some silly room that I¡¯ll probably never return to!¡± Various shakes and quakes have been happening for a while now. I can only think of it as an epic battle. However, for some reason, even with all this chaos, no walls fell out of place or anything at all. But I don¡¯t have time to think any deeper into it, I really need to get the hell out of here. ¡°Ahhhhh!! If only they were fighting in front of the treasury!¡± I made my way through the Palace while with both of my hands, a long, thick staff. Yes, some of you out there might remember this staff as the same one that was involved in the ¡°Eaten Apple Incident¡± where the old Grandpa magician tried to teach me magic. Yup, what I learned through that whole ordeal, is to not take any sorts of short cuts. That¡¯s why, I¡¯m going to give it my all in order to get my hands on the dream crystal without having to comply with Chris. I will take that dream crystal, and get the hell out of the capital. I miss mum a lot...Even though she sold me out. I took all the turns, stairs and what not, until I reached a door I am quite familiar with. It¡¯s the door that takes me to one of the Palace¡¯s many courtyards. The garden! ¡°Still, it was quite weird that I didn¡¯t meet anyone on the way here...Can it be that the fight has scared everyone away?¡± Oh well. I can think all I want later, when I¡¯m able to get the hell away from this place. ¡°Bang!¡± An explosion rang out from somewhere near me. ¡°Fuck!¡± That almost killed my ears! I feel like they¡¯re bleeding! ¡°God dammit, god dammit, god dammit, am I going to die? Is this really where I¡¯m dying?!¡± Quickly, I uttered the incantation to turn invisible as my ears are ringing. I took a look left and right, and saw that the maniac Angel was currently super confused in the middle of a crater a few meters away from me. Her sword was thrown into the ground, probably due to the impact she suffered, she lost her grip. No wonder my ears are ringing. She seems to have been saying something, but I couldn¡¯t hear her because my ears were ringing too much. I see, I see. Via my lip reading skill, I have come to the realization that what she said was, ¡®That cross dressing bastard tricked me!? I hope he burns in hell!¡¯ ****Author¡¯s Massage: What Angel Actually said was ¡°Why isn¡¯t this working?! If only it did, I wouldn¡¯t be losing like this!¡± Also, Angel still doesn¡¯t know that Kai is a male.**** You want to turn invisible right? Well fuck you too! Let me grant you your wish!! I quickly pressed the blue button, which if I remember correctly, is the naked ray. ¡°Let me turn your clothes invisible for you, bitch!¡± I shouted. Angel turned naked right then and there, and I made a run for it. Oh right, wasn¡¯t one of the buttons for healing? Let¡¯s press that... My body turned back to normal and started glowing a bit, and my ears stopped ringing. ¡°Eeeehhhhh?! Where are my clothes?!¡± ¡°That¡¯s what you get for cursing me...even though I tried to help you!¡± By tricking you! ¡°Hahahaha! Getting naked won¡¯t do you anything, little girl! What you¡¯ve caused me to lose, is my dignity! My pride! Offering your body to me won¡¯t restore that! If it was any other day, I would have gladly accepted...but you! Not you! Not now! The only way you can get out of this, is by death!¡± Anyways, I made it to the outer wall after a minutes walk while making sure not to trip through the explosions and quakes that are happening every now and then. Oh, and the occasional cursing and shouts that those two were throwing at each other. Hmph, hmph. And I even considered saving Angel. ...Okay, I admit, I never thought about it. But that¡¯s because she¡¯s more powerful than me! ¡°Attack Magic, Attack Magic...¡± I tried to remember which button to press in order to have this stick shoot off a beam...like how those two old men died... Ahh! It was the red one, wasn¡¯t it? Probably. I mean, it shot out red beams before, right? Red beams, means red button! Okay, okay, let¡¯s hit the red button... ...there! ¡°Shhh~ Shh~¡± The beam easily pierced through the wall. Alright, while holding the button in order to keep the beam going, let¡¯s carve a door! I moved my hands together, and created a large enough square hole on the wall in order to get out. ¡°Still, I wonder, how could I so easily break down the wall? Isn¡¯t this supposed to be the emperor¡¯s palace?¡± I mean, it can¡¯t be this weak, can it...? What I didn¡¯t know at the time was that the wall that was facing the outside had a barrier running through it. It would stand up to most attacks. However, employing such a grand barrier would take too much energy, so they decided to only supply it to one side of the wall, and not the other that was facing the inside of the palace. ¡°Alright, let¡¯s make a run for it. To the Pedo-Beast¡¯s mansion!¡±