《Loco the Yanko》


 Chapter 01 : My best friend died.

    I was shocked. I mean it really, who would have thought that the old fart would just dissapear like that with his bunny girls. Leaving his best friend alone in this universe. He just went and transferred his soul to another dimension. Fleeing from his responsibilities and work.


    Now that the new has spread it''s going to be a huge fuss setting disorder everywhere...


    And holy bunnies i can see all the work that i''ll have to do to keep everything in check.


    Because basically, God died. To others the mighty and powerful overseer is nowhere to be found. He vanished as we''re speaking of today.


    Now what should i do i am his most trusted assistant and close friend when he was here. But he vanished letting me rot alone in this dark universe. Should i let the angels to themselves? And dissapear as well? Or play the nice guy and take over the huge amount of work that even three thousand archangels couldn''t handle? No no no.


    The boss is on a long vacation with his bunnies and i don''t know when he will return. Let''s just have some fun shall we?


    Adjusting my messy grey hair and leaving the room of the overseer i rushed myself to the balcony of life where the good souls of the high heavens can choose to reincarnate if they wish to experience another mortal life. Of course the balcony of life has features that gives advantageous dispositions to the people who wished to be reborn anew. VIP features from the house of God.


    As i was chosing my destination, the planet where i''ll descend to i heard the voices of angry men that sounded to me as if horses started to hiss like snakes. Not that pleasant to hear.


    They are the upper gods each one of them overlook a part of the universe with lesser gods under their command. I should erase myself from their memories before i go. It''d be wise to dissapear completely as if i never existed. I''ll have to change some details here and there on my book of destiny.


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    As the group of upper gods passed by in the corridor i hide myself behind the open door of the room where the balcony of life is located.


    Thinking back this room is not decorated at all i mean it''s a square white room with a square luminous table in the middle of it. And the freaking heaven is all about white. Everywhere is white, everything is white, everyone is wearing white. I''ll never get used to this honestly. We can create anything and everything with our imagination and out of nothing. Why are we restraining ourselves to just the theme of purity and the whiteness?


    Closing my eyes i accessed to my book of destiny.


    Anyway, i''m deleting my existence from the heavens and any realms erasing all traces of myself.


    I never existed, only god himself would know of my existence and would not be affected by what i am doing. The guy is gone now. Is it time for la fiesta.


    As i finished with my book in my head i strip myself slowly before jumping in a fast motion and a quick movement into the top of the glowing square table in the center of the white room.


    Naked i fly, i am flying towards my destination, but why didn''t i turn into a clich¨¦ ball of light? What is going on? A moment later i fell on my butt hitting a hard soil before falling on my back.


    I was naked and a few steps away i saw a stunning beauty with red eyes and golden long wavy hair. She was on a horse... Or... Wait a horse without a head? A centaur?!!

 Chapter 02 : Can I ride you?

    It feels like an eternity has passed. She was staring at the naked me. I was ogling at her two impressive mountains. How can she maintain her balance with those things ? It is, I think one of those mysteries of the oh so grandiose universe. Even so... I feel a bit embarassed, I feel like screaming like a highschool girl facing a perverted old man. "Kya. Ecchi..." Slowly but surely I hide my little Johnny with my hands and tried to scream as realistically as possible." Kyaa I''ve been seen I''m never going to get a husband. Kya...ahahaha..." It probably looked really weird seeing an old man butt-naked in his late sixties holding onto his intimate parts with teary eyes in front of a one in a billion beauty.


    After such a display I have expected the cruelly beautiful creature in front of me to run away from the old crazy geezer that I am but surprisingly the individual didn''t move a flinch. Strangely I discovered that her eyes seem to be shining on top of that she was smiling like an idiot. I could see stars in her eyes. I suddenly feel the urge to flee like my life was at stake. I started to fall back step by step steadily while keeping an eye contact with the four legged-volumptuous-beauty. She was looking at me like I was her new toy. What was scaring me more was that a strange smile can be seen on her angelic face and holy bunnies she was drooling! The strange horse-girl was giggling "muhe..hehehe..". I need to run now and fast. I can''t use my godlike power yet to teleport myself out of here. I''d need a day in heaven''s time or a year here in the mortal realm to recover my administrator''s right.


    I sighed. When we high heaven beings descended to a mortal realm in our original form we need time to let our power be transferred to us. Power is simply the energy and it is harder for it to travel over than our soul. Also our body can be instantaneously created once the soul came in contact with the destination it''s easier because of the ingredients available on the planet filled in the air. To put it simply my enormous quantity of power need to cross the realms to come to me. This planet doesn''t have enough of what you would call life force, chi, qi, mana to supply me.


    Anyway, aside from the boring clich¨¦ explanation I need to figure out something to deal with this situation. I don''t know what she wants with me or what''s her problem with old naked men but this is becoming scary as hell. I''m not mentally prepared for this.


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    I fell after a few steps. Butt-forward into a rock. *Thud* Something has been torn. I can see my body from above. And then, it''s pitch black.


    "is..er?..mis..mister?"


    An angel? My good Alora? What is this feeling of dread? Ughh it''s painful. I opened my eyes to discover a tail... Swaying left and right. My body is on something that has been moving me for a while.


    "Oh mister you are awake. I am sorry if I have scared you back there." Said the angel sounding voice.


    I glare at the tail. Wondering how it can speak. And what''s with this angelic voice?! After pondering for a few seconds I accepted the fact that anything is possible and it shall be. "No it is not your fault miss tail back then I was facing a demonic and ferocious predator I tried to flee but ended up hurting myself accidentally you saved me here don''t apologize it''ll make me feel bad" Yep don''t judge the book by its cover.


    Miss tail stopped her swaying. "M-mister! I am not a demonic predator and I don''t eat people! " Almost as if crying it out loud she continues. "I-I just met for the first time a human and you think of me as if I''m a monster huuuuu misthtaa ishh meann ahhhehhnn mommy was right humans are despicableee ehnnn"


    Turning my head to the source of the cries I met the back of a young woman with her long silky wavy hair.


    Feeling my gaze she turned around. She was crying profusely. It was Tsunami. Looking closely she was godly. What am I saying she is divine. And this innocence! This feeling that I am getting. It is MOE! Holy carrots! She makes me want to protect her. To pet her. I want her to call me papa. Such a cute girl ahhh. So puuure. I''d never ever let anyone touch her or look at her badly in this life. There there calm down you old geezer Yanko. Yanko the right hand of God. Control yourself.


    "Euh.. Missy I didn''t mean it. I''m sorry, really. As an apology I''m willing to be your friend. What''s your name?" I tried to be as convincing as possible. Hope it works out.


    Wiping her tears off the horse-girl replied shyly. "I am Ll''yana." Sitting up on my destroyed butt I answered her while trying to hide my discomfort with this position. " Nice to meet you Ll''yana my name is Yank..koo.ooooh urg" I met darkness once again.