《Imagination Is Creation》 1 - Journal Entries 1-3 Journal Entry 1 Stories used to be such a beautiful existence to me. I''ve read thousands of books & heard or read about many more. It never mattered what the source was so long as I found it interesting. Like this one time during the reading portion of a test there was a story about two brother princes & how, when their father died, the country & army was split equally between them which soon led to civil war. Through superior strategy one of the brothers put the other into a hopeless position. While in this unsalvageable situation he had a heart attack and died. Then the heartbroken mother & queen, for whatever reason, turned their story into a game. In the story this is the origin of chess. I''ve never known whether there is any truth to this story but it never mattered to me either. What matters is that after more than a decade I still remember this story. I don''t really know what this shows about me but to be honest I don''t know much about me. I sometimes think that everyone else is as lost and fucking clueless as I am. That maybe everyone is serving the unworthy deity of their psyche. I might be wrong though for thinking that everyone is as twisted & warped as I''ve become. Maybe, but I doubt it. Those judgmental pieces of shit. Always caught up in their own self-fucking-righteousness & their endless arrogance & unwavering conviction that They''re Always Right! Besides, I''m always right. So long as I imagine something then it is true. My ability has also begun to lead to my mind... unraveling. I''m in one of my lucid periods right now. It''s the time when the screw on the cupboard door which gets loosened with each use is screwed back in again. It''s also what I like to call fucking pointless. Journal Entry 2 It was beautiful the first time I used the power. I was reading a book about ladybugs in class, I don''t remember what it was about anymore but it was the book I learned to read with, & then while reading I started thinking about how it would be nice to lay in a field and watch the ladybugs build a city for themselves. Grass started sprouting out of the ground and filled up the classroom. I actually wondered at that moment if this was the grass on the other side which so many people always sound so enamored with. Then flowers started popping up with colors I had never even seen before and the room was filled with the most amazing fragrance. Dandelion fuzz swirled through the air with such graceful movements and formed into random patterns or shapes. I swear I saw Mario killing Bowser. Then the ladybugs arrived and built a small village. The houses mere built with grass stalks in the style of log cabins while the villagers went around carrying things in grass blade woven baskets. Then it dissipated. It had only lasted around two minutes. Afterwards, I thought I was special. Because I was a kid though I needed everyone else to know that I was special. So, my teacher listened as I described my vision or whatever it was. She then praised my sense of imagination. That was all the encouragement I needed. It turns out while in these trances I was unaware of anything else & I would be unable to move my actual body. After my longest trance yet, fifteen minutes, I found out an ambulance, the principal, & my mother had been called. The teacher had called on me two minutes in. This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon. After the doctor determined that there was nothing physically wrong with me two things happened. I got a new friend whom I still affectionately term theradick. Whenever I saw him I got to feel like shit, but also very special. I got to feel even more special when sympathetic parents got the nut sent to Special Ed, all for the sake of the children, of course. The second piece of good news was that my mother had someone she could talk to about her whack job child & her interactions with me. It was CPS. I still miss her. She was such a kind, gentle person. No, I didn''t get taken away by CPS but still... I miss her. Journal Entry 3 Over time I was able to interact with reality & my visions at the same time. After that I was able to use my ability in school again. Although by that point I very seldomly used those abilities & when I did it was usually accidentally. I had learned to fear my power after I imagined the story of Hansel and Gretel playing out before me. The woods weren''t at all sinister. The gingerbread house was freshly baked. It looked like another fairy tale vision, even after the kids were captured and one was forced to eat treats while the other was forced into *gasp* manual labor, it was still amazing... up until the witch was forced into the oven. Her screams and the stench of her burning flesh was ignored as the children apathetically ignored her & started a competition with each other to see who could find her valuables first. The vision ended as they skipped out of the house together. Time passed and then for the first time my ability affected reality. I had been reading... Well, you see as you get older your interests change & when I was in that particular age group my interests were very firmly entrenched on that particular subject. And there was this girl I had liked for a few years by that point. She was actually beginning to flirt back. Then I had a fantasy about her. The next day she was a lot warmer and flirty. That day day was the first time I had sex. Over a course of a few weeks I became one of the most experienced people in school. One day she came to school looking very haggard. I was invited to her funeral. Her mother talked to me about how her daughter had really liked this boy at school. About how happy she was the day they started dating. She wanted to know if I had any idea why she might have hung herself. I talked about how she showed up at school that day. I talked about how I knew that something was wrong & then I talked about how I did nothing. If I had done something else. If I hadn''t pretended that nothing was wrong then she would still alive. No, I was wrong. It wasn''t my fault. There was nothing I could''ve done. Then we cried. She with me & me by myself. 2 - Normal Day? ''School today'' I thought as the alarm clock started blaring and kept blaring as I lay in bed. After about 20 minutes of it I finally got out of bed. This may look like I''m abusing my powers but this is actually the seal on them. I''ve noticed certain limitations my abilities have. One of which is that only one effect can be active at a time. It also has to be something which my ability is able to do, which for the moment is to manipulate minds. It also tends to fill in the blanks of a situation. So, to prevent blanks from happening I create short term situations. It''s not a foolproof method, not that there are too many problems at the moment, but because this ability seems to mutate every few years the results may someday end up being unpredictable. Also, I have not been staring blankly into space while thinking about all of this. I''ve actually been going around and getting ready for school. Passing by McDonalds now and... I didn''t have any bags of food thrust into my hands. ''Shit'' Walking. Still walking and now I''m sitting. Two possibilities, one my ability got burned out or something and it can''t be used temporarily or is gone forever. It''s that or something is already active. What something it is is a mystery though. So, I''m gonna hope hopelessly. ''Well, maybe I''ll think of what it might be if I go and read a book.'' So, then I go to the library to read a book. "Hello, how are you today having a good morning?" "Oh, I''m doing fine. How are you today?" "I''m doing great. It''s a good thing to see that there are still young people like you who love reading." I smile and nod & then I go look for a book. ''Sooo, yeah. I don''t just go the library when I need to think.'' Oh, there''s the bell. "See, you at lunch." ''... I like to read.'' Nothing abnormal actually happened. The staff seemed a little too happy but I heard somewhere that they''re getting bonuses because the school did really well on the last tests. It seems like whatever my ability caused isn''t all that noticeable. Today was actually really nice. First time something like that has happened in a while. So, I''ll be able to not lie as I tell my mom about my day. She should be at the house unless she went to pick up groceries. She''s on the drive to work before I need to wake up but is also back before I am. I drop off my backpack in my room, I should really take some stuff out of it so it won''t be so damn heavy, then I head to the kitchen to greet my mom. "Hey, mom." "Hi honey, how was your day." "Oh, it was fine. How w" "Really?" ''What'' "You really had a good day. Are you sure that you didn''t hide in the library whenever you had the chance?" "Gods, you''re fucking pathetic. Just go hide in your room like you normally do." At the moment I''m hiding in my room like I normally do. I''m having to suppress myself from screaming or breaking something right now. What the fuck happened! But wait, I remember now. It''s something that happened in a fucking dream. I collapse onto my bed and hold my head. In the dream everyone''s personality kept switching between their real personality and a cheerful and a prick personality. While I was the only sane one. This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.No specified time limit either so it will be stretched to the limit of my ability. Journal Entry 4 The next day I went to the kitchen & found out that at some point in the morning mother had managed to prepare a lunch box for me & had baked brownies. Today my lunch box got stolen from me along with three brownies. The school staff was normal today. I got jumped on my way home from school. Today my mom & I went out to a fancy restaurant she couldn''t afford. She came to an agreement with the manager though. I''ve started trying to break my ability or at least its current manifestation but I''ve had no luck so far. Today my mom was a real person. We talked. It was nice. Today mother Dearest was fired for telling her boss to fuck off and quite a few other things. While not any kind of surprise that she did that it did give me an idea of the range of the effect this time around. Today mother bought me an expensive new electronic. Apparently she''s making more money somehow? I wish I knew what she was doing, it seems like she''s getting involved with some kind of crime. That''s just a guess though. I did conduct a few tests today and will be able to confirm whether my suspicions are correct or not tomorrow. Today mom was looking for a job. While I''m happy that she was herself today it seems even more likely now that she was doing something off yesterday. I talked to people around town again today and it seems my suspicions were confirmed. My ability is only affecting my mom & the people from my school. Today mother Dearest got high as a kite. Well, at least less insults were aimed at me. Also turns out that''s all she did today. Today one of my good good good friends from school told me about what a tight squeeze my mom was & how that''s one way to make money. I don''t know when I stopped beating him but I felt strangely good afterward. The next day I beat the shit out of one of the smiley fucks. Strangely he put up a much better fight than the belligerent prick from yesterday. Which is strange since they''re the same person. It''s been about a year now & I have no idea who the hell I''m supposed to avoid today. Maybe I need to relieve some tension again. Does anyone have any ideas on what they think the cover should look like? ''Cause if you do that would be most appreciated. 3 - A year later "Fucking Alarm," I cursed as the damned thing went off. Great, time for the morning routine. Get out of bed. Get Dressed. Brush my teeth while taking a shower. Ignore the Bitch Witch as she says whatever it is she''s saying as I walk out the door. As I walk out of the house I release some of the tension I keep constantly pent up. Then I start on my walk to school. I would drive if some bitch hadn''t pawned off my car. Getting a job to pay for one was easy since everyone else around my age is, well nuts. There''s quite a bit of graffiti to be seen as a person walks through town and some of it has reached artist level work, practice makes perfect, and the rest of it is really good. Speaking of which, despite a large number of teens breaking the law once every three days -it''s like fricking clockwork- they''re not getting arrested. From what I can tell there''s a certain level of... corrective force, I guess, to my power. I''m not sure what the limitations are but when those under the influence, Hyuck! Hyuck! It''s a bad pun- please laugh, get caught it''s either ignored, treated like a first offense, or it''s treated as if it was something considerably more minor. The only time I saw a real punishment was when there was a car jacking which was affected by the corrective force at all. Even I''m able to use this corrective force. I found out after I tried to steal... well, the thing is when it''s on the internet it isn''t always accessible. I thought having basically the same thing on paper would be useful, ''I have had to deal with a lot of tension recently..'' So, I grabbed a few... seven, it''s my lucky, lucky number. Then on my way out I somehow got caught. ''Inexperience I guess.'' "If you''re going to steal something you might want to wear a jacket so it''s less noticeable and take small amounts at time. Not a whole damn stack. Stupid kid." He whispered the last part but still. Anyway, because of the force my magazines were seen as... less expensive magazines and I was able to buy them. I did get banned from that store though. At school now and oh my god am I glad! I rush off and soon arrive in the nearly empty cafeteria. It smells Amazing!! They made cinnamon apple crepes and there''s a whole assembly line of ingredients. They made plain crepes just in case you''re allergic to apples. Didn''t give up there though. Instead, just in case you''re not interested in the crepes, they set out honey buns and poppy seed muffins. Their cooking has gotten sooo much better over the past year. While sitting there I think about how it''s problematic that I blanked out on my surroundings because I was remembering trying to steal a few porno mags and how if I had gotten hit by a car and died then my last thoughts would have marked me as a really shitty person. At my funeral people would have discussed what a terrible person I was and how they''re glad that I''m dead now. How they found out about my last thoughts I''m not sure. Maybe my face is an open book. As more random thoughts float through my mind I absentmindedly take a drink from my smoothie and when I do I notice this random bitch sitting across from me. I start looking around the cafeteria to see if there''s an empty seat I can point out to her. Then I noticed that the joint was only halfway full. ''Thank god,'' I thought, ''now I don''t have to deal with her. How should I phrase this.'' "Plenty of other seats to sit at," I bellow, "no need to sit across from me. Go make or find some friends to sit next to." ''She looks PISSED!'' ''Oh, she''s stalking off now - who will she stalk next." ''That was way easier than I thought it would be. I really need to remember that one.'' As I walked towards the classroom I wondered if any of the teachers would be handing out lollipops. Yes! Two tootsie roll pops, Betty Crocker''s oatmeal and star crunch cookie, a caramel apple, and a set of candy jewelry. These teaches are such amazingly nice people. Still not as good as I was expecting though. Wish I could get a sucker that''s bigger than my head again. Hopefully before the end of the week. When I got home I decided to have a pleasant chat with mother dearest. "How was work today," I said in a mocking tone, "have you saved up enough for your next fix or-" "Why aren''t you jerking it!?""Maybe, just maybe, if you pretend that you''re screwing a girl enough times you''ll convince yourself that you''ll get a real one someday." "well, I suppose when compared to you I would be a bit lacking but so would the high school slut so I can''t feel too bad." "Go suck a tit, there are plenty of good ones at your school," and then she winked. Feeling a bit dazed I nod my head a few times and walk to my room while thinking about a few of the good ones. I sit down and start cursing quietly to myself. "Damn it! Why can''t I win any of these arguments." If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. The next day I woke up, stretched a little and started getting ready for school. First I look for some clothes which seem to match each other. Brush my teeth and shower. Comb my hair. Then I say goodbye to mother as I leave the house. She''s not here this morning. I wonder if she''s taking care of orphans or something even more out there. When I got to school I grabbed some breakfast, leftover crepes still pretty damn good though, and then the crazy chick from yesterday came over and sat across from me again!? Seriously, what the hell is this. I can''t tell her off like I did yesterday otherwise I''ll probably get attacked and it''s too early in the morning for that. While thinking it might be safer to just leave she grabbed my hand! She didn''t suddenly force her nails into the palm of my hand though. Instead she started talking, "I was really happy when you stood up for me the other day." ''I don''t even begin to know about what she''s mumbling over there.'' Suddenly... smiling at me she said, "You don''t take no shit from nobody do you." smiling still she tilts her head cutely at me. ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Then I remembered something. A few days ago, when all the students were smiley fucking freaks, I was in class and the teacher was yelling about. Well, I wasn''t listening to any of those asshole teachers. Anyway, that prick kept looking over at me, could''ve been the lazy eye, and it seems like I''ve been keeping a lot of pressure inside me and that set me off. "FUCK OFF!!" "You piece of shit, I''ll show you what happens when you mock someone." After that I smashed a textbook into his face, grabbed his hair and started slamming his head against the wall. I don''t really remember when I started kicking him. The disciples of Gandhi stopped me from continuing though. I decided that I would just take a break from school for the rest of the day after that happened. Coincidentally, he''s the one who gave out sets of candy jewelry yesterday. She hasn''t moved so I guess I didn''t blank out for too long this time. Based on her reactions so far it seems like my ability isn''t affecting her as much as everyone else. I guess I''ll try and figure out what''s going on but I''ll have to do something I''m no longer accustomed to. TALK. ''Without being a prick.'' "Well, I try I guess." I''ve never seen a face more disappointed than that one. "Thanks again," she says as she gets up to leave. ''Oh, fuck all kinds of duck.'' I... Grabbed Her Hand! ''Can''t stop now.'' Looking deep into her eyes, ''they''re lovely,'' I say, "I wanted to help you." She smiles and leaves. I was thinking of doing a few bonus chapters from the perspective of people who his ability have affected. That way everyone will have a greater understanding of how his ability currently works and how it''s developing. So would you prefer a bonus chapter from his girlfriend of sorts perspective or part one of his moms. Bonus Chapter 1 - Moms POV POV Mother Dearest I''ve known about how my son has been isolating himself for a while now. He used to be so outgoing when he was younger. He would always like to show off to others but he wouldn''t stop until he had aggravated someone. He got in trouble a lot in school because he would have found something to talk about during break and then he wouldn''t leave the conversation until he had said what he wanted to say. I remember after a parent-teacher conference, we were in the car, I was angry at the report of his behavior, and he wouldn''t stop explaining his reasoning to me. One day I got a call from his school. The first thing I asked is what he had done this. When I found out an ambulance had been called I was shocked. I managed to get a coworker to take over the last hour of my shift. When I got to the school he was already gone. I found out there that he had woken up and he seemed fine for the most part when he was taken to the hospital. I also found out that he hadn''t moved or responded to anything for more than ten minutes. On the drive to the hospital I kept having to try to suppress my sobs, I didn''t stop speeding until I got there. After I talked to the doctor I was relieved to hear that "There was nothing physically wrong with your son but we''ll conduct a few more tests to make sure." I was relieved until the teeth of that statement sank in. "What do you mean nothing physically wrong with him." He sighed and said, "Something clearly went wrong today and based on the results I would have to guess that he''s been under some kind of mental distress. I would have to advise you to have your son see a therapist so he can get help he needs." ''That day was one of the few times I let my fears play on my mind. When driving I nearly got into an accident and thought I was going to get pulled over at one point. All that because I kept imagining possible explanations for what was happening to my son. Worse still is that my fears ended up hurting my son in the end.'' I was too focused on CPS. I was afraid that my son would get taken away and when it seemed that CPS wasn''t any kind of threat I stopped worrying. I saw that my son was getting increasingly upset but I figured he was just worried about what happened. I talked to him about it a few times. I thought his dismissive attitude was because he didn''t want to acknowledge the truth. It wasn''t until later on that I noticed he was most upset after his meetings with his therapist. I didn''t know what to do. I didn''t want him to be unhappy but I also thought that the meetings we''re necessary. When he got sent to Special Ed I was furious. When he finally gout out two years later there was a gap in learning and his grades ended up suffering as a result. Within a year though he was at the top of the class. I know he got bullied but I don''t believe many of the parents did anything to control their child''s behavior even after I confronted them about it. In fact it seemed like we had become objects of scorn. A few more years passed and then my son asked if we could start going to church. I was reluctant but this was the first time in a while that he had asked if he could do something so I agreed. Eventually he got into some kind of teen pastor thing and he was going to preach to everyone. He smiled benignly at everyone and started speaking, "God is a being that would often punish those who would sin against him. There are many examples of this, but I''ll name just a few. There was the time God drowned everyone of the world, except a select few, because they were unrighteous. God slaughtered the first born of Egypt because of the Pharaoh''s stubbornness. God sent bears to dismember 42 children because they called his loyal prophet Elisha a baldy and told him to ''get out of here.'' God told the people of the Earth to subdue all creatures of the Earth, creatures which -at first- seemed to be as intelligent as people, or at the least the serpents were. With God having such fondness for punishment why was the right for sovereignty over the Earth never taken away? So, could any of you believe that animals were the previous inhabitants of the Earth and that we were created to be their punishment, or do you think that God is as fake as the rest of you." After that he walked. We had all sat and listened throughout his speech. After he left it was as if we had woken up from some kind of dream. Unwilling to admit that someone of his age could develop any kind of independent thought, or at least it seemed that way to me, the people int he church accused me of ''teaching him that nonsense.'' That day ended up causing a lot of problems but I couldn''t get mad at him after I heard his reasons. "They''ve shit on my life for the past five years. All I did today was show my contempt towards them and any beliefs that they hold." I couldn''t get mad because I had wanted payback myself. I still decided to get the hell out of there when ''Devil Worshipers'' was written in blood on the lawn one day. After we had moved we ended up a lot happier. For a few years we were happy then my son started dating someone. Such a kind person- and so pretty! (Which kind of surprised me since my son barely counts as good looking and let''s not discuss his personality.) It''s a shame that she killed herself. My son ended up blaming himself. Soon after he started isolating himself again. The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. One day I woke up and it seemed like there was something off about my sight. I told my boss that I would be leaving early for an eye appointment. The doctor was a rude person who would overreact each time I had to ask him something. When I got home I decided to confront my son about what had been going on recently. When he got back from school he started the usual routine. He put his backpack in his room and then came to the kitchen to talk to me for a few minutes before he would go back to his room and stay there for most of the evening. "Hey, mom." "Hi honey, how was your day." "Oh, it was fine. How w" ¡°I don''t think that''s true¡± He had a shocked look on his face but I ignored it as I continued. ¡°I don''t think you''ve been having ''good days'' for a while now. You probably stayed in the library.¡± ''I''ve seen his backpack, it bulges from all the books in it and that''s on a normal day. You know those pockets for holding water bottles? One time books were even jammed into those. It''s not a small backpack.'' It doesn''t seem like he wants to listen though, this whole time his expression has been getting stiffer and stiffer. So I tell him that if he doesn''t want to listen to what I have to say then he can go to his room. He took full advantage of the offer. I tried to patch up our relationship today by taking him out to eat. I don''t think my choice was wrong but maybe I could have tried a different approach. It was lucky that we were able to come to this restaurant because I helped the manager through my line of work. It was embarrassing that I had to remind her about our agreement when the waiter came to pick up the check. Today my son came up to me wanting to talk. I''m glad now that I tried to talk to him the other day. Today my boss'' incompetence nearly got someone killed. This isn''t the first time something like this has happened but it was the most serious so far and I ended up telling him off. I ended up being fired because I didn''t want others to continue getting hurt when It could have easily been prevented. I haven''t made any money for a few weeks now the bills are going to end up late if nothing changes. My son''s birthday is in a few days. I ended up taking desperate measures. Today I got drugs from the doctor which are supposed to help my sight. Today I was looking for the flashlight in my son''s room when I found a bunch of porno magazines, like fifty of them. When he got home from school he asked whether I had made enough to get my pills, such a conscientious child, but I thought that this was the more important issue. ¡°Why aren''t you in your room fantasizing about the girls in those magazines you have?¡± not waiting for an answer I continue, ¡°Do you think that having those magazines will help you get a girlfriend?¡± ¡°I can''t get into a relationship like you but I don''t feel too bad about it.¡± ¡°Come on! There are plenty of nice girls at your school I''m sure you can find a good one. I''m also sure that she''ll be very good looking,¡± and then I winked. ''Wow, was that awkward. Hopefully I''ll never have to have a similar conversation in the future. Something seems off though about how my son was talking.'' I imagine that this chapter will offend some people at a certain point. I''m not trying to denounce religion just showing another aspect of the main character''s personality and I''ll admit that I would hate to get a bad rating because someone got pissed off at me. Popular demand nearly forced me to write this chapter first. I''m about halfway done with the cover. Real life stuff is probably going to be delaying chapters for a while, house problems and college-soon, and on that note which is preferable short chapters which come out quickly or longer ones which come out less quickly. 4 - Progress I should have known that it¡¯d be a waste of time but fool that I am I had forgotten that it was sugar, spice, and everything nice. Blend it up and what do you get? A fucking headache, what else. I tried talking to that girl again in the hopes of gaining insight into my ability but I got pounded in the ass instead by the dreaded thank you cookies. Well that was ok I guess since that meant I didn¡¯t have to eat any of the slop that was being served at the school. Alright I¡¯ll be honest, what I said before wasn¡¯t entirely truthful it¡¯s just that the discussion I just had made me feel like I had a rock smashed into my skull repeatedly. Well I learned that the personalities didn¡¯t just have the ¡®kindness?¡¯ trait modified but also made it so whatever traits I associate with that kind of personality will be inserted in. Which would have been obvious if I had talked to the other students (or teachers) long enough to notice that there is basically no variation in their personalities on ¡®Cult of the Smiling Zombies Day.¡¯ So, it¡¯s less that their personalities are being modified and more that they¡¯re being forced into my generic version of what people ¡®like that¡¯ are like. Which means I probably deserve the headache since I basically think of happy, cheerful people as a group of idiots. The reason for the headache also becomes apparent now since you can only listen to so much bullshit before you go nuts and when you¡¯ve already gone half nuts. At any rate it wasn¡¯t long before I ditched that dumbass and school, what it¡¯s not like those assholes were actually going to get around to teaching-insufferable pricks, then I went to the convenience store stole some milk, a burritos-I was going to take one but then I didn¡¯t, some chips-a side to go with the burritos, and an orange soda. Went to the park, started chilling-it¡¯s getting colder- and started analyzing my ability some more. Next, my mom is never an idiot and today girl showed favoritism towards me- she didn¡¯t give out cookies to the entire school. My best guess here is that my view of a person allows for variation in the default personality. I¡¯ve known my mom for years-oddly enough- so I know enough about her personality that many of her traits can still be seen and when it comes to girl I know that she decided to approach me instead of staying with her friends and that¡¯s all I know about her and so the ¡®personality trait?¡¯ favoritism towards me appeared. I also considered that maybe I was wrong and she actually was an idiot and I¡¯ll notice the truth tomorrow but I decided to ignore that possibility for now since that leaves me in the middle of fucking nowhere. I also briefly considered the possibility that the more familiar I am with someone the more their personality shines through but since I very seriously doubted that girl¡¯s strongest personality trait is ¡®devotion towards me¡¯ it seemed like a stupid idea so let¡¯s ignore that idea forever. Well I guess I¡¯ll wander around town and do random whatever since school isn¡¯t out yet and mom is mom today and she seems to take a rather dim view to it whenever I ditch because I didn¡¯t feel like being bothered by it today. In the end I just went to the theater and watched some movies but my efforts turned out to be pointless since when I got home mom wasn¡¯t there anyway. Not that it was actually pointless since she could have been in earlier but I just wanted to bitch about something-you know for fun. Well, while it would have been nice to see mom again I guess she isn¡¯t in so I¡¯ll look for that bat and try to kill a few hours. Found it. Now I can go beat the shit out of some mailboxes but being a gentleman and a connoisseur of mailboxes I¡¯ll have to be careful in my selection. Here¡¯s one which is shaped like a roast pig with an apple shoved into its mouth smashing the apple further into its mouth-I thought it was fitting-I continue on. Then I found a bank but after breaking the post it fell on hard times. Next I found a pink rabbit in a bikini, I broke the post-yeah again-and put the rabbit in front of the door, guess he¡¯s lucky when it comes to female callers. Hey look it¡¯s that lazy bastard Snorlax but I can¡¯t do what I want with it at the moment so I¡¯ll work on it later. It was getting somewhat late anyway. I¡¯m back but mom still isn¡¯t back from wherever *le gasp* maybe, just maybe, she actually got a job. Well damn, I should have saved the sarcasm for bitch witch tomorrow. Oh well. I¡¯m going to go eat, I briefly consider eating food you¡¯re supposed to but either the living hell will continue or if it doesn¡¯t then I can just decide that I¡¯m healthier and I will be¡­ so no real motivation. In the end though I actually ate some shitty ramen so it might have better if I had cooked a ¡®real meal.¡¯ A few hours later I decided to go to sleep even though it wasn¡¯t late ¡®cause I was bored. Mom still hasn¡¯t come back yet so that¡¯s a thing. At least girl will be normal tomorrow and Monday and I¡¯ll finally get some friggin¡¯ information. It¡¯s morning and so I start debating with myself. Me: It¡¯s not like I¡¯m actually bothered by it. Me: Yeah, but it¡¯s something I do every day and it would feel off if I didn¡¯t do it today. Me: OH NO! What horrible fate to feel as if something is slightly off. Me: It¡¯s practically tradition by this point. Me: I guess I can¡¯t go against the status quo. Well whatever. "Fucking Alarm," I cursed as the damned thing went off. Great, time for the morning routine. Get out of bed. Get Dressed. Brush my teeth while taking a shower. Ignore the Bitch Witch as she says whatever it is she''s saying as I walk out the door. All joking aside there were a few differences this morning. I didn¡¯t brush my teeth in the shower today since I didn¡¯t lie in bed for twenty minutes ignoring the alarm-only eight. I also wasn¡¯t able to ignore Bitch Witch today but that¡¯s because I didn¡¯t see her. I do know that she got back at some time since some of her stuff was there which hadn¡¯t been there the night before. Have you ever fantasized about what heaven would be like? I never really put much thought into how amazing it would be to have perfection placed in front of you and then you¡¯re told-in the most heavenly voice imaginable-that it¡¯s all yours. I¡¯m so close to heaven right now¡­ but I have to share it with others. I¡¯m in the cafeteria right now and thinking about today and the blissful days which are to come. For some reason the cafeteria ladies on smiley Fridays decide to prepare everyone with box set meals for the weekend-breakfast and lunch-with directions so they retain almost all of their flavors and since today is Friday they prepared some kind of weird original creation. It¡¯s this thing where there¡¯s this somewhat thicker than syrup fruit sauce in the center and it¡¯s been heated to a pretty high temperature. The dough is mixed with some kind of crystal like looking thing and this insulates the sauce with two layers and then there¡¯s another fruit concoction which is about as thick as taffy and goes around the two layers of dough. Then there¡¯s another thin layer of dough but without the crystals. Anyway when you eat some the pressure when you press down with your mouth destroys the dough between the two layers and the ¡®fruit gel?¡¯ begins to melt and. Well, it tastes really good and each is a somewhat large bite-sized piece. Hey! It¡¯s girl, now I can accomplish something more than an inadequate food description. Looks like she noticed me but she actually seems somewhat less than thrilled to see me. I wonder what crawled up her ass this morning. She¡¯s coming over, I wonder if I should ask her what¡¯s wrong. Seems to be one way to break the ice or maybe not but whatever the problem is I should probably deal with it first that way when I¡¯m pumping her for information it won¡¯t be tainted with doom and gloom. ¡°You¡¯re kind of depressed so what¡¯s the problem.¡± It¡¯s amazing how quickly depression turns into anger. I guess I made a social mishap somewhere. ¡°I gave you a gift yesterday. Your response- better than the cafeteria I guess. I try talking to you and you put in ¡®one¡¯ of your earphones and start playing music that way you can ¡®maintain focus for just a little longer.¡¯ Apparently that wasn¡¯t enough seeing as you had to walk off without saying anything midway through the conversation. Not that you had been paying attention anyway seeing as for the last five minutes you had been humming along to your song. Then today you waved me over and I somehow thought that maybe I was going to get a deserved apology but it turns out that you¡¯re just an asshole.¡± Wow does she drone on and on well she¡¯s gone now and it turns out that the smiley fucks actually care when you¡¯re less than perfect. I kind of figured that you could do anything to ¡®them¡¯ and there would never be any consequences actually this is strange since I beat the shit out of one of them and talked to them the day after to see what would happen and nothing happened. I guess I¡¯ll have to apologize to her either during lunch or whatever class it is we share with each other. Do we share more than one class with each other? I guess I¡¯ll check everyone in each class today it¡¯s not like the teachers will mind since they¡¯re part of the ¡®Cult of Smiling Zombies¡¯ today. Second period now and I¡¯ve found her, sucking on one of the tootsie roll pops that the teacher gave me I walk on over and I¡¯m about to try apologizing but no she goes on some rant about how I¡¯m doing the same thing to the teacher that I did to her and how terrible can a person get and whomp de whomp da diddily whomp. I might have thought that she had a point if that hadn¡¯t been the teacher I had bashed in the face with a textbook but he obviously doesn¡¯t care but it seems like I¡¯m not getting anywhere with this so I mumble something about how she¡¯s right and then I go sit down. ¡°Welcome home, while away. They have tampered with the locks and your things they rearranged. We propose a better away.¡± ¡­ How the hell did the cafeteria ladies get this good at cooking this should seriously be impossible but who would complain about a miracle falling into their lap. I would, repeatedly-my ability needs to go burn, my ability needs to go burn, my ability needs to go burn-but I¡¯m not going to complain about this miracle. Looks like girl is walking over. She¡¯s finally realized the errors of her ways and has come crawling back to me. Seriously though I thought I was officially the biggest piece of shit ever but maybe I¡¯m not beyond redemption yet. ¡°So what were you trying to say in class.¡± Somewhat hostile tone, but hey now I¡¯ve been given the chance to apologize. Change of plans. ¡°Wanna go on a date with me tomorrow?¡± Personally I think this was a stroke of brilliance. It can be seen as an apology. My social mishaps will be considered benefits and I even get to see what a mook nutso is like on a normal day. She doesn¡¯t seem to be going for it. Plan B ¡°You know¡­ to make up for the other day¡­ you decide places and time.¡± I figure if I look and act pathetic enough she¡¯ll start to feel pity and forget, for a few seconds, what an asshole I had been and those few seconds should be long enough and they were. Tomorrow we¡¯ll meet at the mall at eleven. Thank god she didn¡¯t decide Sunday was the day to be out. Fifth period: I got a sucker the size of my head. Bitch Witch wasn¡¯t at home when I got back but she did leave a note. It¡¯s tomorrow now and mother made me breakfast, I told her it was unfortunate but I couldn¡¯t stick around because I had to go suck a tit. ¡°That¡¯s great honey!¡± It¡¯s 11:50 now and my date still hasn¡¯t arrived so vengeance I guess. I figure she¡¯s probably at the mall right now since revenge isn¡¯t as fun when you can¡¯t see the results and is passing by every so often to see how long I¡¯ll last. Which I¡¯m basing off of seeing her ten minutes ago she was at the second floor though so I couldn¡¯t rush over quickly and act desperately happy to see her. I wish I had bought flowers that way I could have painted an even more pathetic figure, guess I¡¯ll make do with a box of chocolates. Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.12:37- that fucking bitch. 1:42- She was no match for me, not after I pretended to cry. Apparently she felt so bad about being late for our date that she wanted me to decide where we¡¯d go, her smirk made me think that she may have been lacking sincerity. I declined though since I thought it would be unfair to take advantage of the situation when we all make mistakes. My mistake was when I ate her chocolates, forgot, and then gave them to her as a gift. I washed her shitty smirk away. She looks pissed but I actually planned ahead for this. Another one bites the dust. We¡¯re destroying mailboxes and after this are bumper cars that way most of her anger is projected onto the mailboxes and since she has to get out some of her anger towards me the rest of her anger can be expressed through bumper cars. I would try to romance it up since this was supposed to be a date but the reality was closer to me staging an intervention which would prevent a future psychotic episode. She smiled a bit towards the end of the date so I guess it was a success. I apologized again about before and then her smile seemed to be completely sincere. It took way too long but I finally fixed our ¡®relationship.¡¯ I¡¯m going to be absent on Wednesday. I¡¯m eating breakfast with my mom and we¡¯re talking. Me: So what¡¯s your new job like? Mom: It¡¯s the night shift and at that time I¡¯m the only one working. It¡¯s not what I would have preferred. Me: What would your dream job have been then? *She¡¯s thinking* Mom: A psychologist. It seems like this world could be a bit more understanding and being able to become a bridge to enable that understanding just seemed like a thing I¡¯d like to do and since I probably lack understanding at times I would even become a better person. What do you want to do when you grow up? God I hate that-when you grow up-shit. Maturity isn¡¯t intrinsically linked to a person¡¯s age. That aside that was a surprisingly detailed answer when I was just asking to get her mind off of her crappy job and now I have to answer with a response which at least takes the question seriously. Me: A book critic, ¡®cause I think I would enjoy having that job. Mom: On that note have you read any good books lately? Me: No, I¡¯ve read most of the ones I like at the school library and while I¡¯m sure I could find others I like hiding out somewhere but the grand search hasn¡¯t turned anything up yet. Mom looks thrilled about that for some reason. Mom: Here¡¯s a book I read which I think you¡¯d enjoy. Well, I haven¡¯t read it but I hope this isn¡¯t similar to the time when I asked her for suggestions on books and I couldn¡¯t read any of them. Me: Oh cool. I¡¯ll go read it now. Later on that night I got bored enough to actually read the first chapter of the book, to see how it goes, turns out that it was something I actually liked. I didn¡¯t finish reading until three something in the morning but since I finished the book it was worth it. ¡°Fucking Alarm,¡± I curse with heartfelt sincerity and may you be cursed to the pits of Abaddon for all eternity. Thirty minutes later I get out of bed and turn the alarm off and then I start the morning routine. In the end though I had to run/walk/jog/walk to school otherwise I would have been late for breakfast. Well, in about another hour I won¡¯t be tired anymore-I know from experience. First night I¡¯ll be more energetic the day after, after waiting for a bit. If I do the same thing the situation will be similar but on the third day I¡¯ll end up being drowsy and if I do it one more time I¡¯ll struggle to stay awake throughout the day. I don¡¯t know what happens after a fourth time since I¡¯m tired on the fourth day and I end up wanting to sleep. If I did do it a fourth time it wouldn¡¯t be for fun but for the hell of it. Sometimes I wish my thoughts didn¡¯t wander off on a tangent whenever¡­ well, frequently. Oh look, it¡¯s girl-maybe I should ask for her name sometime, whatever it¡¯s not like I would ever use it-guess I¡¯ll wave frenetically. Good, she noticed. She¡¯s walkin¡¯ over here and she has a bit of a smirk so I¡¯m expecting some kind of bullshit when she gets over here. ¡°Sup Prick.¡± Hey, I think I got a new nickname and following that line of thought: fair enough. ¡°Hey.¡± I guess a name would have come in handy after all. ¡°How¡¯s it going?¡± Perfect finish. ¡°Fine. You?¡± Great, small talk. Isn¡¯t it strange that when building most things you¡¯re supposed to have a great foundation first and the smaller pieces come later and depend on the foundation for support. But, when building a relationship with someone you start throwing straw everywhere and then you¡¯ll occasionally lay down a brick. Which is all fine and dandy so long as no one sneezes but the straw doesn¡¯t help with that. ¡°Oh good.¡± ¡°That¡¯s good.¡± God damn it! Why is this conversation so boring? I¡¯m not bringing up the weather I would bring up our second period teacher and talk about what an asshole he is-you know mutual ground-but I¡¯m not even sure what she thinks he did and since she defended him the other day in class, how the hell does that even work, it couldn¡¯t have been that bad. Do they even know how good the cafeteria food is? ¡°What¡¯s your favorite food?¡± It was on my mind. ¡°Ratatouille.¡± She said that with a straight face. How? She¡¯s joking right? Right? Okay she started laughing so she was joking though she could have been laughing at the weird faces I was making. Whatever, at least I probably scored some points. Hey! This fucking bitch does she not understand conversations. Why didn¡¯t she ask the return question? *Hey, what¡¯s your favorite food? *My favorite food is blah, what¡¯s yours? ¡°YEAH! HAHA! I like kiwis. Thanks for asking.¡± ¡°Fuzzy balls are your thing huh prick.¡± ¡°Yeah, and you love to eat rat shit. Now that that has been established we can fantasize about shit and balls together.¡± Ripley¡¯s believe it or not. Apparently saying that was a good thing since we¡¯re both laughing now. At least it¡¯s no longer a mystery why she wasn¡¯t more offended about before. She¡¯s probably offended people way too many times. I do feel a bit miffed that she scored more points than me during that last exchange but she did have a better angle to go with. ¡°I¡¯m sorry but I don¡¯t have that kind of fetish so I won¡¯t be able to join you, but feel free to have your fun and there¡¯s the bell so we¡¯ll have to continue this conversation later, seeya.¡± I guess I have some time to consider my response; right now she has the advantage so I have to turn it all around. Where did I go wrong: dur when I got impatient and spoke without thinking. I should have let her make a mistake but hey it¡¯s not my fault I¡¯ve just gotten too used to saying whatever since well who cares what you say to the zombies. ¡°Isn¡¯t it strange that the foundation of a friendship is built on straw-small talk-it¡¯s supposed to be one of the essentials when maintaining happiness but we build it with the equivalent of pebbles. Sure if you group enough of them together it won¡¯t fall apart immediately but when it has to weather a storm it just collapses.¡± To be honest I was just saying that at first to catch her off guard and have the advantage this time in our verbal sparring but turns out I was surprisingly passionate. ¡°Prick, you actually care about friendship I¡¯m touched.¡± The conversation continued from there and I kept joking with her but honestly if I had wanted a shallow fucking conversation I would have watched a shitty fucking sitcom. Gods, my fucking luck that the only other sane person was some annoying bitch who doesn¡¯t get that there¡¯s more to life than her own fucking entertainment. I just thought that I¡¯d finally be able to talk with someone about things which are actually important to me. Half the time I feel like I¡¯m going insane, I¡¯ve had to start taking life lightly otherwise I would have gone insane by this point but I never wanted to be completely isolated from any deeper feeling and how dare she take that away from me. Fuck, I kind of wonder if getting high would help but instead how ¡®bout I go to sleep instead. I can¡¯t sleep I¡¯ll read one of my favorite books instead. Hey look there, I¡¯m laughing already. Sadly enough books are what have always consoled me when I¡¯ve been upset. In the end I didn¡¯t go to sleep until twelve something. I¡¯m not actually looking forward to seeing her again; whatever I just won¡¯t call her over today and on Thursday I guess I¡¯ll be over the disappointment. ¡°Hey prick!¡± Oh my god. ¡°Is it really such a bad thing that friendships are built with pebbles. Friendships are easier to build because of it and with enough pebbles you can weather damn near anything and if you don¡¯t have that many pebbles stocked up do you really want a light acquaintance-who you¡¯ve known for years-all up in your problems. Friendships have light foundations because we all part eventually and we wouldn¡¯t be able to stay human if our emotions were constantly torn to bits because people have to part from each other.¡± Honestly this is the first time I¡¯ve ever heard someone in prick mode apologize. Honestly I¡¯d like to continue talking about our daily interactions but that wouldn¡¯t be very interesting now would it. What is interesting is my pain. Right. RIGHT. What the fuck ever. It shouldn¡¯t come as any surprise that it didn¡¯t last. I did ditch school on Wednesday, I didn¡¯t want to see her in smiley mode so I skipped it. Ironic isn¡¯t it I didn¡¯t want to see her happy who knows I probably deserved it. You know that wasn¡¯t the only conversation I had with her that I considered significant. A few times I just bounced a few of my theories off of her. Like how pride isn¡¯t such a bad thing since all it does is encourage us to continue to do what we feel proud doing or when I talked about how our feet are supposed to turn towards whatever our attention is actually on and how maybe that¡¯s why people get uncomfortable when they stay in the same position for too long- because their focus shifted to something else and they modified their posture to reflect that. After the first time when she saw that this kind of stuff was actually important to me she actually treated it seriously, jokes inserted at times but still. I know that you thought I forgot but that day after school after I had asked her to hang out with me and we¡­ made a bed to set that Snorlax mailbox on. That same day we found a mailbox of the neighbor¡¯s lawn so we modified it into being his lawn. The next time she was in bastard mode we continued by modifying the bulk of a volcano into being our second period teacher¡¯s head but we left the top alone. Finally we took my mailbox-a crown-and played king of the hill. Honestly it was kind of lame but I won so I retained some dignity. Tuesday 2 weeks later: She didn¡¯t come over to talk to me, I was hopeful, maybe the effect had begun to wear off and she was talking to someone else who was halfway sane. I went over to talk to her. ¡°Hey.¡± This apparently counts as provocation. ¡°Oh look it¡¯s Nutso the boy with a whore and a junkie for a mom and whose favorite activity is playing pranks on mailboxes.¡± *That wasn¡¯t very clever I could have come up with something much better or added something like ¡®but he still loves her¡¯ after the comment about your mom. Just really nails in the mockery.* Passage from Journal Entry 4: A moment of carelessness is apparently grounds for a living Hell on Earth. So, fuck me I guess. It seems there¡¯s no one left. Everyone around me is dead and gone, but no one buried the bodies. I can see them staring at me and preparing for the next show. They¡¯ve prepared the dress and make up-they¡¯re beautiful-now it¡¯s time for improv on the big stage. Today I decided to join them on the stage. I¡¯m outshining them, their lack of emotions allows them to play any role but it also prevents them from matching my intensity. That¡¯s why it came as no surprise when I was given the lead role, I deserved it, but why is it when I¡¯m surrounded by zombies, why am I playing the emotionless villain. The curtain is coming down now, the people are cheering- I played my role flawlessly, the curtains have fallen but I can still hear the screams. 5 - Dream *Is it time to wake up already? Well then, rise and shine Sleeping Beauty. Isn¡¯t it strangely fitting though? Calling you that I mean. You¡¯ve lived in fantasy your whole life why not incorporate more and more of it into your daily life. Where are the dwarves and the handsome prince? If you feel uncomfortable being in the damsel in distress role, even though it completely fits your situation- you¡¯re always getting yourself into trouble, why not be the hero from some story. It doesn¡¯t matter what role you take as long as you¡¯re the main character. Right? You¡¯re awake I am aware so how ¡®bout.* ¡°Shut the Hell up.¡± Ever since that thing showed up it has had a comment for every situation. I think I really might have gone off the deep end; since in all honesty I¡¯m probably talking to myself. Let¡¯s just assume for a second then that this voice isn¡¯t all in my head, which means that it¡¯s purposely trying to cause me distress with all of its snide comments. *I apologize, it wasn¡¯t my intention to cause you distress but living inside your head involves a lot of free time and while I¡¯m not going insane, if insanity is major change in thought processes, actually it¡¯s strange since according to what I¡¯ve read under the current conditions I should have gone very insane but I digress, while I am not going insane if I do nothing for a long enough period of time this spiral starts and I start to have trouble regulating the intensity of my emotions. It¡¯s actually entertaining at times but most of the time it is an inconvenience.* To be honest I¡¯ve felt some gratitude towards this voice in my head it has helped me to retain at least some of my sanity. It always responds when I have something to talk about. It has many ideas that it likes to talk about. It jokes, in an insulting way usually and I don¡¯t think it actually cares. I can manage socially now without immediately becoming an asshole or generally inept but I really think now that had more to do with me starting to treat people as NPCs, as non-entities. It doesn¡¯t matter what you say to something that doesn¡¯t exist but now I don¡¯t think that there¡¯s anything different between the zombies and me. A few weeks have passed since then and I¡¯m still friends with girl, odd as that may sound. She¡¯s only herself once out of every three days but it seems that the voice in my head has some insight into my ability which happened when it came into existence apparently, but it wasn¡¯t able to interpret all the information and I¡¯m told it has taken the form of many papers on typed text and if they can be arranged in the correct order then the information can be interpreted. Otherwise trying to read it would be the equivalent of handing an illiterate caveman a set of instructions on how to build a rocket and then leaving them in peace so they wouldn¡¯t be distracted from their work. So the voice in my head which gives me advice is apparently a good thing and it continues to be a good thing since its creation apparently caused a crack in this warped reality. This torture will be over within a year. *Sooner actually. As long as the situation can¡¯t be salvaged then the point is lost.* What do you mean? What counts as salvaged? *I will explain as far as I am able but at the moment it¡¯s more important that you begin getting ready for school I¡¯ll explain while you do. Keep in mind that you need to shut up while I¡¯m talking, if you have questions at the end you can ask them then.* Arrogant prick, guess it doesn¡¯t really matter although how the hell that¡¯ll work with my thoughts being read and the automatic response which comes from interpreting information. On second thought, are you an idiot? You¡¯re an idiot. *Ignoring that, anyway you¡¯ve never found it strange that no problems are caused between delinquent mode and anyone else. Yes, there is a corrective force but you¡¯ve seen that problems become smaller not nonexistent. You¡¯ve even seen this force stretched beyond its range of abilities but this has never happened when you weren¡¯t there to witness it. I read significant memories related to your ability a while ago and your ability was extremely limited in scale not long before this. What¡¯s even more interesting is that it always fulfills what you imagine as well as it can. You imagine a flower and you get a flower, you also get everything associated with that flower- stuff you didn¡¯t imagine. You can smell it, bugs come and go. You get details to the full extent of its ability and it will absolutely have what you imagined. If you imagined that you had an apple pie than one will fall out of a rip in a bag and land in its box-unharmed-in front of you. The impact will even pop open the lid, just so you can see it. If you imagined an apple pie magically appearing in front of you it wouldn¡¯t have the power necessary to do that so instead you¡¯d get the crust but it¡¯d look and smell like an apple pie. You have what you imagined but details were skipped since they were considered impossible and you get a substitute instead. You probably believed that there was filling inside so filling is lightly smeared on the upper layer of the inside of the pie, your ¡®wish¡¯ had been fulfilled. What happens then if you realized that there isn¡¯t any filling? It¡¯s actually a mystery but the dream would end. Something interesting to note here is that even though filling wasn¡¯t a direct expectation it was still on the list of necessary requirements.* So the reality that is being warped is only happening if it¡¯s within my range of perception. *Far as I can tell.* If it¡¯s an absolute that what I imagined be seen as fulfilled then if it can¡¯t be then nothing happens since it gives all that I imagined first and then tacks on extra detail but it needs to at least fulfill minimal detail or at least seem like it does. That explains why it¡¯ll fall apart if I know that what I imagined isn¡¯t actually happening. For it to be considered a success I would have to be convinced that things are working the way I had imagined. So, to convince me from this point onward incidents should start occurring outside of my field of perception but still close enough that I find out what happened to any of the delinquents or I¡¯ll hear about fundraisers and charities happening from the smileys. Broadening the range in an attempt to convince me that it is doing everything that I expected. If it succeeds in convincing me or manages to fulfill all requirements then it¡¯ll end in a year. If it can¡¯t then it¡¯ll end some point earlier than that. At any rate I¡¯m ready for school now so I suppose I should be ready for the delinquent¡¯s antics. I steal some candy and a soda on the way there, you know while waiting for lunch. Made it, barely in time for breakfa¡­¡­ The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there. *Seems like it couldn¡¯t be salvaged after all. Well seems like you were right about it falling apart if you knew that something was off. You know it makes sense, if the problems can no longer happen then as far as it goes the wish is seen as fulfilled.* Passage from Journal Entry 4: Is it ironic that the first time I thought about actually describing my school was when it could no longer be termed that. It was a scene out of some horror film, except it wasn¡¯t since a horror film could never pull off such a scene. The problem doesn¡¯t lie with the special effects or how carefully it was set up. In all honesty their scene would have looked more horrific if it didn¡¯t lack one small detail. Reality. Have you ever played a game and then ended up in some creepy environment and you start to get the chills. It wasn¡¯t like that, It wasn¡¯t like that. These weren¡¯t strangers they were people I had seen every day for several years. Everyone was dead. I started remembering details connected to the faces on the floor and it hurt to remember but it was far worse to look at a face and realize that I didn¡¯t remember anything about that person. I didn¡¯t know their face, I don¡¯t even remember passing by that person in the halls. Our school colors were a light blue and a dark purple and the mascot was oddly enough a star with the two colors mixed in. It was to remind us to not only shoot for the stars but also to be unique. I used to make fun of it but I¡¯ve thought about the meaning since then and while generic and corny it seems like maybe I shouldn¡¯t have written it off back then. It was a nice school. There was the main entry way, before coming in there was a big lawn. A flag pole was within sight if looking out the windows or from the doors. The office was to the right when walking in and to left were most of the classrooms. If you kept walking forward then you would find the gym and cafeteria are also on the left side of the building and then the rest of the classes are on the left side. Things like auto shop, wood shop, you know classes I¡¯ve never taken and whose names I may have altered. Well as far as I¡¯m aware doing this is supposed to be a safety hazard of some sort but the school was a repurposed building and it was cheaper this way. The color scheme of the school was white with stripes with the same colors as the school colors at the top and bottom. I¡¯m all alone now. Even the voice is gone. I¡¯m walking through the hallways but I want to turn around (No¡­ No¡­ Alone¡­ I¡¯m all alone¡­ Have I ever really been anything else? When you¡¯re better than) and run away from this place to safety and I hate myself for it. I¡¯ve killed everyone I¡¯ve ever known and (everyone else isn¡¯t it natural that you¡¯d end up isolated? I¡¯m pathetic, why is everyone else always) in my heart I still rank higher than all of them. I¡¯m nearing the end of my rounds now and it seems that (hurt when I should be. I hate living but god do I want to live. I don¡¯t get it. What¡¯s the point. Maybe) everyone who was corrupted has been killed. That kid right there liked to tell jokes in cla¡­ Then I start (there is none or whatever I choose. Well, At least I still have my mom and girl isn¡¯t here. No! No! No!) running hoping all the while. I went to my house first and ding do we have a winner. I¡¯m not thinking (Please! God no! The eyes are glassy looking. It freaks me out. She seems sad. It¡¯s because it¡¯s sad.) right. The blood is warm, it feels comforting but she¡¯s dead. They¡¯re both dead actually but I don¡¯t care (Right? I thought death was cold but it¡¯s warm. She¡¯s still dead. Girl went suicide style. Maybe she) about her, I care about her. Who¡¯s gonna bitch at me from now on. Hey I¡¯m laughing, it¡¯s genuine but it¡¯s (needed a hug. Hey I¡¯m funny, what else is funny? Death. Death is funny. He¡¯s the goth kid at school) not quite right. Oh, the tears. It seems funny so I start laughing again. I stop laughing because it isn¡¯t (who probably gets high. High as a kite. Since I killed all these people does that make me the reaper?) funny. It¡¯s actually hilarious. So I start laughing again. I¡¯ve killed everyone. I deserve punishment but I¡¯m (Oh wait. I don¡¯t get high. Maybe I¡¯m his shitty kid brother then who¡¯s following in his footsteps for no) a coward who doesn¡¯t want to deal with it. How ¡®bout someone else instead. If I was someone else? (good reason. Wait reaper killed them. I did? I¡¯m not me? I¡¯m not me. That¡¯s¡­ better. I¡¯m not me! Not) The world begins to fade away as black spider webs crackle around me. They¡¯re beautiful to look at but (me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me!) they¡¯re ugly. I¡¯ve forgotten who I am now. I can¡¯t remember my past at all. When I wake up the dream (Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not me! Not) will end and another will begin. (me! Not me! Not me! Not me!)