《Pretty girl stranded in another world》


 One day Im going to beat that fugly chick over the head with this water bucket.

    Gaming was useless!


    Studying was useless!


    Working was useless!


    Sitting around on my ass was useless!


    I could feel the soles of my bare feet sinking into the mud and shivered, ignoring the snickers of the nearby onlookers. If I were to describe myself at this moment I''d say I was slim, petite and pale skinned as the moons unbaked backside.


    ¡°And incredibly pissed that those things mean absolutely nothing in this world!¡±


    Oops, I said that out loud. Now these people are staring at me. At least I''m getting some attention. Where was I again? Oh right.


    I''m a desirable, good looking and fun teenage girl damn it!


    At least I was back in my own world. I think we can all agree on what happened here. One minute I was laying on my plush and luxurious bed thinking about this low carb salad I''d just eaten and the next minute I was knee deep in long grass that was cutting into my thighs like razorblades.


    This is the grass that hell grows in its lush fiery forests.


    Of course that was about two weeks ago. I can''t really tell time over here, they have two suns and it''s hot as balls for twenty hours of their thirty hour days. I wasn''t so calm about it in the beginning but five days of continuous crying didn''t lead to prince charming coming to my rescue. I didn''t even find a perverted old man.


    Some fugly as tanned chick with muscles for tits shot an arrow into my back.


    Not that it says much about her, they''re all tanned and muscles over here. Even the babies. Apparently she thought I was a freakin'' wounded animal crying for its mum. I saw some of them on the way back, beasts that look like what the nerdy kid at my high school draws when he''s imagining how crap all of humanity except the girl he likes is and escaping into fantasy because he''s so cool in his own world.


    I should add that I don''t have to eat in this world. I went ten days without a drop of water or a bread crumb before fugly realised she could use me for cheap labour.


    Talking about the breadcrumbs now, what do they put in them?!


    I''m not joking, I tried to sneak out a loaf of bread when I thought I was going to die and my teeth bounced right off of it like they were amnesty international meeting a Pamela Anderson. Which leads me to my next observation between the crying and slave labour.


    All these people are strong. Each one looks like a professional wrestler had sex with a baguette and got ripped. Their skin is tanned and crusty like bread and apparently its fine for it to shed right off of them while they walk on the street. Each one of them is ripped like gods and they don''t even seem to care that I''m struggling while carrying this very heavy water bucket.


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    Not to mention none of the guys even glance at me.


    I would cry at how unattractive these people find me if I wasn''t all dried out. Like, I think there''s no more water in my body. It''s becoming a serious concern for me. Oh wait, fugly is walking up to me. Oh god she''s talking to me now. I don''t even understand a word of what she''s saying but I think she''s angry at me. She''s probably just angry because deep down she knows I''m prettier than she is, a personal win.


    Did I mention the breath?


    I swear I can see it wafting towards me like a mist of death. Yesterday she got into a conversation with one of her muscle friends and I don''t know what they were saying but to me it looked like they were fighting over who could get the most bad breath into the other persons airspace.


    Why couldn''t prince charming come and save me like in those fairy tales!


    As for why I haven''t run away, I already mentioned the beasts right? What I didn''t mention was what happened after I got shot by an arrow.


    These guys don''t know backwards from front and yet they somehow managed to heal my wound with what I suspect was wad of leaves put together with spit. Rubbed it all over my back and probably gave me forest rabies. If I catch whatever horrible skin disease they have I''ll just kill myself.


    I actually tried that too.


    I ran away instead of getting water, right into a giant cat thing with tusks that was walking in the long grass outside this place and it stabbed me right through the stomach. It looked like a big puma. I was happy for about three seconds. Then fugly walked up to me and smashed the thing over the head with her giant fist. She actually smiled and dragged me back inside her straw hut while my stomach organs were flailing about in the air.


    Spit and leaves later and I was all fixed and ready to go back to work.


    Because that''s how things work here apparently.


    Which reminds me, I have no idea where here is. Or how I got here. Every night is a nightmare, I either cry myself to sleep or I think about anything except for what''s around me. I can''t stand this place. The animals are giant monsters, the people are giant monsters and I don''t think that was mud I stepped on before.


    I don''t even think it was animal shit.


    Mark my words.


    One day I''m going to beat that fugly chick over the head with this water bucket.

 That damn cat is going to stab me in the stomach and I die. We can all go home happy.

    The cat thing followed me home.


    I beg it to stab me while fugly isn''t here but apparently the dumb thing doesn''t speak English. Just like everybody in this god damn world!


    It just waves its tusks around like some love sick puppy and cuddles up to me. I think fugly''s hit to the head made it retarded.


    It''s sort of nice. In a warm and fluffy kind of way.


    It really does look like a big puma. Fur as black as these peoples feet, dainty little paws with giant claws, slitted yellow eyes that look like they want to devour my soul and two large white tusks. Did I mention the giant teeth?


    I had a kitty once.


    I used to play games like throwing it into water and throwing it down the stairs so it could land on its feet.


    It ran away and got hit by a car.


    Now that you''ve had that delightful look into my life I bet you''re wondering what else has happened in my exciting life in this new world.


    Well I''m currently walking with yet another bucket towards the nearby lake.


    Did you know these people drink the same water they take baths in. I kid you not. There are people taking baths and I''m taking the water only two steps away from them. Plus I can hardly hear because there''s this huge waterfall right at the entrance.


    It''s big and pretty.


    But I can''t even enjoy it because there''s always ten or so old dudes sitting underneath it with their privates waving about in the water. They don''t even line up properly, they formed a triangle with some at the bottom, less in the middle and one at the top so no matter where I look someone''s shriveled junk is flapping down at me like god almighty gave it free reign of the sky.


    Weirdly they glow too. Not their junks, just the old dudes. Their whole bodies glow when they cross their legs and close their eyes underneath the waves of water. I think they want everyone look at them.


    I suspect they''re perverts.


    Oh crap one of them is looking at me. The one at the top opened his eyes and I swear he has the longest eyelashes I''ve ever seen. I''m actually jealous right now. The guy can''t even look good in old age but somehow he has lashes as long, thick and luscious as a pop star.


    And now he''s flying towards me.


    I shit you not the man is walking on air like it''s no big deal. It''s a real king of the jungle type look he''s got going on with his huge amount of hair and straight back. The cat is hiding behind my body like it was looking at it''s long lost and incredibly pissed off mother.


    Did I mention it started following me everywhere?


    Well, I have no idea what this guy is saying to me. When did he put on clothes? More importantly, why are his clothes made out of silk when I was given some wool crap that''s giving me scratches every time I walk. The guy is waving his hands around grandly like he''s a priest preaching the best sermon he''s ever given.


    I''m just going to walk away.


    Bad idea! The guy is hitting me over the head now with one of his enormous muscle hands. He''s really beating into me. I just wanted to get some water. This is a hostile work environment. Well I''m not going to let it stand, if this guy wants to keep hitting me then I''m going to pull out my trump card. This guy wont know what hit him.


    I cry like a little bitch.


    All the people around me give me weird looks but don''t even make a move to help me. This always worked when I used it on my parents. Damn muscle people wont even move to help a pretty girl out.


    Hey! What did that guy just say!


    ¡°Gulgi¡±


    That''s what he just called me! I know that word because everyone keeps pointing to me and using it, even fugly uses it to call to me.


    I think it means that I''m ugly. No, I definitely gave the look they''re giving me to ugly people back in my world. I give it to these people every second of the day. They''re calling me ugly.


    How dare they call me ugly! My face is as oval shaped and pristine as a peach and my ass looks like two apples gave birth to a beautiful bubble filled with jiggling water. I won''t take such an insult from these muscle chested, flat butt people!


    ¡°Gulgi, gulgi, gulgi!¡±


    Meanwhile this guy is still bashing into me with his fists. I should probably mention I don''t actually feel pain. It feels like a sort of pins and needles sensation wherever stuff like that happens. It made it really hard to walk during the first few days when the grass cuts and feet sores were everywhere. My poor feet. Also, this guy hits like a toddler. He''s trying to make some sort of point while shouting but all I feel are tickles.


    I''m feeling sleepy.


    Oh crap, my visions going black. And I think I''m falling onto something it feels sort of warm and fluffy. Maybe it''s the cat. Maybe I''m dead.


    Finally.


    I can hear people talking. Well, that means I''m not dead at least. Maybe next time. It''s that weird language they''re always speaking to each other, sort of sounds like Chinese. Maybe German. I''ll be honest I don''t know crap about languages except for English. But they sound angry now and they sound angry all the time.


    I should just keep my eyes closed.


    And that is the story of how I accidentally made a noise and got kicked into the air so high that I smashed into a wall and fell five meters head first into the concrete floor.


    Wait, concrete?


    These savages use mud and grass for their floors.


    I''m definitely looking at concrete. And maybe some of my blood. Wait no, definitely my blood. More importantly there''s a hot guy in front of me.


    My god. This guy isn''t ripped. He looks sort of normal. Actually he looks fit. Not wrestler fit but nice tanned guy goes to the gym fit. What a hunk. He even has an eight pack. I''m taking a second to take a mental picture of this guys abs. Definitely four sets of two. Man I would eat this guy up in a second if I wasn''t a jumbled up bleeding mess on the floor.


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    Pity his face looked like a smashed up watermelon. That''s a no go for me.


    Well I am clearly out of this guys league. I don''t think he knows it because he''s talking to me and waving his head around like there''s an invisible tornado. At least he''s smiling. Then again he did kick me straight into a wall.


    So many pros and cons to measure.


    There''s a lot of books here. Don''t get me wrong, I hate reading. But it''s just so different from my normal place of crap and straw that I can''t help but look at them with a tear in my eye. It all looks so much cleaner compared to fugly''s house. And the blood on the floor actually adds a touch of colour to the place.


    Oh my god, have I just lowered my standards? Too many trees and sticks are making my brain go crazy. Not to mention I stopped being able to cry like a week ago. How long have I even been here? I''d be able to concentrate if this guy would stop swinging his head around the place.


    Eight Pack finally stopped talking.


    Oh he''s leaving now. What a nice guy. Maybe he can read my mind, that would be pretty cool.


    I''m wrong.


    He''s coming back with a book in his hands. I''m no expert on books, but to me this looks like a pretty crappy one. It''s covered in dust, the pages are yellow and I think some of them are actually made of grass since there''s bits of it stuck in there. Plus the writing is all over the place, it''s all crappy and squiggly. Somebody clearly sucked at doing his job.


    Eight Pack isn''t even trying to pull any moves on me. I mean I know I''m out of his league but he doesn''t know that.


    The words are in English!


    No time for mashed up faces now people. The book this guy just handed me is written in English. Really crappy English. Oh, what does the title say?


    ''You''re screwed. Part 1''


    Well thanks Einstein, I already worked that part out. Does this guy think I''m stupid or something?


    ''If you''re reading this you''re screwed.''


    That sentence alone took up three pages of paintbrush writing. I think this whole book is only a few sentences long.


    ''I''ll make this short''


    Said two pages of writing,


    ''This world is deadly to us, it has almost no edible food in the wild and the people can kill us with a flick of their fingers. Each village is lead by their strongest people regardless of background. I''ve seen a person they consider weak taking on and killing a giant elephant beast. We have no way of reaching up to them and competing with them. I''ve already been wounded too badly, and I''ve been plagued by disease since I arrived. I almost starved until I was given cooked meat. They have a word for people like us, ¡°Gulgi¡±. It seems to be a term of respect. We are not part of their society but they will still house and give us jobs if we need them. Honour is a high priority in their society. If you disrespect any of them they have the right to kill you without a complaint.''


    ''Be warned''


    ''This world has something ours doesn''t. Some sort of magic that makes everybody incredibly strong, with the power to kill people from up to a mile away with a flick of their fingers. I''ve seen villagers control rain and create fire out of nothing. They also seem to use martial arts as a way of increasing their power. They have many names for what they do but I call it ¡°gathering spirit¡±. So far I haven''t been able to gather spirit like they do but it may be the key to healing my ravaged body. The only way to get what you want in this world is through respect.''


    A piece of paper floated to the ground after I turned the last page and I saw a diagram. It looked like a bunch of stick figures squatting to take a crap.


    ''Gathering spirit manual''


    Well.


    I looked at the expectant face Eight Pack was giving me and gave him a thumbs up. Then I threw the book onto the ground and smashed it with my fist. Magic and being screwed. Given a job and respect.


    ¡°I don''t give a crap about any of that!¡±


    I don''t need any of that stuff. I just want to go home!


    Eight Pack picked up the training manual and flicked off some of the blood that it had fallen into. He left the book on the floor. He had a fierce look in his eyes and passed it back to me.


    Fine. I''ll take your stupid paper.


    That book may have been useless but at least I got one thing out of it. I took a look at the stick figures and saw that they were all doing things in different positions, there were no notes to go with it but one of the figures looked exactly like the position of the old farts sitting at the waterfall.


    ''Fugly was so strong because of this stuff right.''


    I may have been incredibly pretty. May have been? I mean I am incredibly pretty.


    But that doesn''t mean I''m an idiot.


    I''m going to learn this stuff and then I''m going to smack that old guys head until he blacks out. Then I''m going to smack fugly too. Then Eight Pack is going to smack me. And then I''ll kick his face!


    And that damn cat is going to stab me in the stomach and I die. We can all go home happy.


    Wait.


    I''ll work out the fine details later.

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 I dont like pushy men you know! You have to beg for me to go out with you.

    I''m not insane.


    A few seconds ago I was bleeding all over the place but now I''m fine with no scars of injuries to see. Unfortunately my perfect blonde hair got all bloody in that time.


    Not to mention I''m sitting in what has got to be the ugliest seat that I''ve ever seen in the dirtiest library that has ever had the pleasure of my company. This is actually the second library I''ve ever been in. The first one I used to hook up with someone. That was a fun day.


    If this wasn''t the only seat I''ve seen in this world I wouldn''t let myself be covered in dust like this. Mud chairs do not count as proper seats.


    ¡°Gulgi.¡±


    Eight Pack was motioning with his hands to get my attention. Speaking of, Eight pack is smart. Unlike the rest of these people barking at me like dogs he sees that I have no idea what he''s saying. That makes him way better than most of the guys I''ve talked to before. He''s pointing at that piece of paper labelled ''Gathering spirit manual''.


    I watched his body as he did slid his hand over the stick figure drawings and then stood up. He copied the movements perfectly, but he did them all in a couple of seconds. How am I meant to see that! He ended up finishing in a cross legged position and his body began to glow. It looked really pretty. And best of all nobody was talking.


    Peace and quiet at last.


    So what was I saying again? Terrible seat? Oh wait!


    I''m not bleeding any more.


    It seems like a point too important to skip over but I was distracted by the hunky topless guy in front of me. These guys haven''t invented shirts for males and I''m not complaining. So there''s two important I can think of that impact me because of this.


    The person that wrote that book said that he was wounded. And starving.


    Yet here I am, not standing in a pool of my own blood and not hungry. I don''t think I used to heal myself before I came here but I never actually got hurt before except for a few scratches. I was definitely good at starving myself though.


    Secondly!


    That fugly chick shoved leaves and spit inside me for no reason. Clearly she was against me and just wanted to see me cry as I watched myself bleeding to death before. What a terrible person. I knew girls that used to try to make me cry when I was young. All of them were ugly and didn''t need boys around them anyway.


    Which remind me.


    I''m from another world, but I have no idea how I got here. There was no bright flashes of light, no cracks of thunder or screams of wind. There definitely wasn''t a hunky god there telling me I died. It''s as though the world didn''t need to give me all the information I want. Why does all this bad stuff happen to me.


    And that book didn''t help me with crap.


    Eight Pack is looking at me now. Has somebody around here finally grown a sense of beauty. You know, despite his ugly face he has nice brown eyes. Oh, he''s gesturing now.


    I think he wants me to copy what he was doing.


    I think he was expecting me to pay attention.


    I think I was too busy staring at his body to see his arms.


    Well, it can''t be too difficult. If that other English guy could figure this stuff out I can easily take his hard work and make it my own. Did it before copying homework and everything turned out fine. I look at the manual.


    These positions don''t look so hard.


    Heck Eight Pack did them in a couple of seconds.


    Let''s see.


    I lift my left hand in the air, then my right to the bottom until they''re opposite from each other. It''s like those gymnastic stretches I did. Boy did those pay out when it came to getting free stuff. Then I circle them once and end up with my hands in the air like a star fish. Then I wiggle my fingers around, then sit down and cross my legs. Bringing my hands down onto my lap and clicking my fingers together my chastity lock is complete.


    I''m pretty sure closing my eyes has something to do with it. But I''m honestly just keeping them shut because that was the most embarrassing thing I''ve ever done.


    Oh look, a light.


    And more lights.


    Pretty little lights floating in the black space in front of my eyes.


    Now they''re touching me.


    It looks like they''re trying to rough dance around my body.


    Oh my god, my bodies lit up with a ton of them. It looks like a group of ravers pushing through the front door of my skin and trying to join the party inside. Luckily there''s enough weed in there for everyone. At least there should be considering the last time I smoked some was only the day before I popped up here. Maybe smoking pot had something to do with it. Maybe I should smoke more to go back. I should try and find some weed.


    It''s only logical.


    All the lights are doing is entering my body and glowing more. Well. This training thing got boring fast. How do I see my body with my eyes closed anyway?


    It feels like something too tough and boring for me to care about.


    Wait!


    I can see more lights, they''re going somewhere. It looks like a glowing version of Eight Pack. It is Eight Pack! And there''s something else at the edge of my vision. It looks blurry and big. Also shiny. It''s hard to see where it is, it sort of looks like...


    Now I''ve got a headache.


    I couldn''t keep my eyes closed if you offered me a million dollars. I''d probably off my dad for that much money. That''s how bad my headache is.


    I opened my eyes I noticed a difference. Well the sky looked a little more clearer and the two suns were a little redder. Wait, when did I get outside. And when did it become night time. Also there are little lights floating in the air like the ones I saw just before in my body. Also the old fart and Eight Pack were standing there and glowing like mini suns. The old man more than Eight Pack though. More importantly,


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    My skin was shedding!


    Oh my god.


    I caught their damn skin disease.


    I knew this would happen, that book warned my about diseases but I didn''t listen. It tricked me! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I''m going to kill that person when I see him. And this place. Screw this world it''s basically hell incarnate. How dare it do this to me. I don''t deserve this. Oh my god.


    The new skin is way clearer!


    It feels so silky smooth.


    Why did nobody tell me about this earlier. The old skin is so much grosser compared to my new one. The shedding look icky but damn I am fine underneath all that dirt. I mean I knew I was looking fine since the beginning but damn I probably look way better now. I think I even see some interest from Eight Pack.


    It''s about time.


    My cat! The thing slinked right beside me as I was admiring the pretty lights. Oh man, now that I look at it, it''s full of lights too. This is getting sort of annoying. Every thing is all shiny and new. Even the grass and the trees. I want to go back to looking at stuff normally. And the old guy is walking towards me which blinds me even more. I have delicate eyes you know. I have to keep them away from bright lights or they might grow dry.


    But of course he doesn''t understand me.


    I flinch as he lifts his arm. It didn''t hurt last time but it sure as heck didn''t feel like I was getting licked by kittens. He''s not hitting me though. He''s patting my shoulder. What a nice guy, I clearly misjudged him. Why is he walking away? Now he''s flying! That old bastard! I ought to kick his ass that ungrateful git! First he knocks me out and now he doesn''t even stay behind to take me back to wherever the heck that village is! How is a delicate little girl like me meant to find her way back home. More importantly, does he think I''m actually going to walk all the way back? What an incongruous old codger!


    At least the library is behind me. It''s the only building made of stone. Actually, it''s the only building around? Where''s the straw houses and crappy mud huts. Where are all the ripped people and fugly?


    Why am I even wondering. I''ll take that chair over their crappy beds any day.


    But Eight Pack''s stopping me from walking into the library. What''s his problem? I don''t like pushy men you know! You have to beg for me to go out with you. That''s the proper way of doing things.


    He''s pointing behind me. Where the old guy flew off. Oh what the... It''s a dirt road! Is he seriously telling me, a pretty young girl to walk who knows how much to get to some crummy village I never even wanted to live in in the first place.


    Apparently he was.


    So now I''ve been walking down this crappy dirt road for who knows how long. Still bare footed and all that shiny new skin I got has just been dirtied once again. Thank god this night air is cool or else I would have screamed my lungs out at the inhumanity of it. They''re treating me way too roughly. Didn''t that book say it was their responsibility to treat me well or something. These villagers are violating their own rules.


    I can hear noises all around me. Low growling sounds. And they''re not coming from the cat that''s still sticking around next to me. It''s all coming from the long grass surrounding the roads from all sides. Don''t they know about basic lawn keeping. It must be those beasts. I hate this world.


    I''m not as scared as I should be. Is that natural?


    ¡°Ow!¡±


    What the... some little kid just face planted onto the road in front of me!


    *Growl*


    There''s a giant animal prowling towards him. Dark red with giant fangs and six legs. It looks like a wolf. But all gross like the others. Oh man it''s opening its huge mouth. Saliva''s dropping from its teeth and the kids still lying on the ground all dead an crap.


    I have to help him. I run up to the thing while shouting at the top of my lungs and waving my arms around in the air. The thing looks at me and I swear it laughed at me. So I smacked it in the face with my hand.


    It''s a good time to mention I''ve never been in a fight in my life.


    But somehow I don''t think this is how they''re meant to go.


    Why did I try to save the kid? I don''t know. I know I''m a bitch at the best of times. It''s no secret that I hate this world. I''ve shouted it into the faces of almost every person I''ve met here.


    But that''s doesn''t mean I''m the kind of person that let''s some kid die in front of me.


    I saw a flash of light and the next thing I know I''m being lifted into the air and waved around. Pins and needles are flowing up my arm and between the feeling of hurling and the grass flying into my vision I can see my hand being chewed by the beast while it''s still attached to my arm.


    *Snap*


    Scratch that.


    I went flying meters away as it finally bit off my hand. Now the wolf thing has a taste for my flesh. I can see it''s beady eyes looking at me like a fatty looking at a cream pie. I realise now that I''m screaming. The wolf snarls and I get a good look at the shiny silver edges of its teeth. Little lights are flying all over the place and the thing is jumping straight at me!


    The foul stench of flesh and pieces of my own hand flew towards me as the wolfs fur filled my vision.


    That was the only thing I could see as I felt it''s fangs wrapping around my throat, it''s breath heating up my flesh.


    *Crunch*