《The Left Journey to the End of the World》 1st - My name is Theor Less 1st - My name is Theor Less The aftermath of what seemed to be my greatest run yet on ''Jumpman Armageddon'' left me speechless. The death count was, what, almost four digits? But in the end, it was all worth it. I was finally #1, on the global ranking, of hardcore mode. An achievement only the hardest of the hardcore gamers could achieve and now I was one of them. Beckoning my inner party-animal (who doesn''t have one?), I jumped into the middle of the room and did the greatest (self-proclaimed) victory dance. "I AM THE GREATEST!" Heck, who cares if the neighbours hear this? I am now literally the best jumpman gamer in the world! NO ONE CAN STOP ME!!! Thew, that was a great feeling. Finally, I can stop stressing out on which platform to jump to or what angle do I jump at. I pulled back my afterthoughts of doing a victory lap around the house before I get even more wilder and sat back on my customised all-purpose chair (batteries not included). Ah, the soft, smooth leather like the wings of an angel combined with the squishiness of a beanbag, all that with cup and food holders included. This even hide some other stuff, which I will omit saying. Life is good. "Now, what''s next on the agenda?" Reaching into the deep end of my mind again, I found the lost list of things I want to do in my lifetime. Reading the list, I snickered. Funny, all this time, I thought it would take me more than my lifetime to complete all of this, yet... "...I''m done with the list?" Becoming the best in the world at something, building a world renowned structure, invent a life-changing invention, build a sex- I mean sis- WAIT, I meant... a systematic A.I, yes and so on... Every one of those items on the agenda all seemed impossible to everyone else and once myself included. But looking at it now, all those seemingly impossible things, I''ve done them all. So... What now? No use thinking about it while doing nothing. I stood up again and left my humble room for the first time in what now, years? Being rich doesn''t mean you need a lot of space. A room, computer and ration is all I need to live a good life. But I guess, I still need to move around to keep my body in good condition. Man, these hallways look so strange. Do they always look like this? They are so... normal. I need to stop thinking about them or else I feel like my ingeniousness will slowly degrade into stupidity. Maybe I should call Dave for another delivery of Chinese takeaway, and also ask him for advice for what to do next. Ah wait, I remembered, his wife is going to have a child soon, definitely not the best time to call him right now. "Perhaps, I should visit my sister." Yes, I got a sister, and... it has nothing to do with my lost list *cough* moving on. I arrived standing in front of an iron door, more fitting to be named as a vault door, with a sign labelled ''Do not enter without permission'', a joke of course since no one would be even able to come here without bypassing my own personally designed, and might I add sadistic, security measures. I mean, who needs human guards when you got lasers? Anyway, I pulled open the iron door, which actually leads to the basement. Mad scientists always have a basement laboratory, me included. "Oh, Theor! It''s been a while since you came down here." Ah, my cute, ageless little sister. Not blood-related, nor even race-related, but we''ve been through so much that we are practically family. Oh, and there''s also the fact that I built her to manage the lab which I barely use. Again, not that I built her because of other reasons *cough* *cough*... Yes, she''s an artificial intelligence, world''s first and maybe only self-conscious, self-learning, systematic A.I I believe. Unless the US or Russia has been secretly developing their own, my home-girl here (literally) should be the only one of her kind, that is until I make another one. Though at first, I can''texactly ''seeher'' since she''s just an engine of code that I wrote for two weeks straight, I did plug her into a animation software so I can somewhat seehow she''s fairing by the way she displays herself. She''s displaying her avatar, a very cute girl with similar features to mine but with more feminine in body and facial proportions, in the screen in front of me, browsing reddit by the way. "Sorry if I''m disturbing you. I''ve only just checked off my last item on the lost list. Now I''m thinking about what to do next." Arie, her name an acronym of ''Assist Researcher Intelligence Engine'', went silent; presumably back to look around on the web again. A true otaku, holding up in her own room, searching for interesting topics around the web; though if she began to read fan-fics, I would be devastated and a slight bit terrified, especially if it is yaoi (oh god, the horror). Good thing she''s more into mysteries and action, even if I feel slightly uncomfortable with her interest in the latter. Not exactly ''girlish'' is she? "How about the hunt for god particles?" I shook my head. God particles are like wally/waldo (depending on where you are from), found them the moment I started searching ages ago. It was quite boring to say the least. "Erm... Space travel?" "You know I have already invented a multi-dimensional teleporter." "Then what about going to the end of the world?" Out of nowhere was a quiet and sly voice with a slurred pitch indistinguishable by gender nor age. You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story. I turned towards the source of the voice, surprised by the fact that he got past my home-defence, and saw... *tension music* ...A...cat, wait no...dog...thingy? "A Neonlapis." He read my mind. "That doesn''t explain anything?" I am too weird-out by this creature that I couldn''t help but turn that retort into a question instead. A cat-dog creature wearing what seems to be a costume from some sort of futuristic space themed movie. "Identify yourself!" Looks like only Arie kept a cool head. Wait, she''s an A.I so she doesn''t count. She''s also pointing a rail-gun at him. That''s my sister, good job. "Wait wait! I''m only here as a messenger of the Neonlapis race! Don''t kill me!" It turns out that this cat-dog thingy is a coward... and now he''s shivering in the corner. Also, why are you looking at me like that Arie? Wasn''t it you who point a rail-gun at him? "...*Sigh* What was that about going to the end of the world?" I really am too soft, especially in these type of situations. By that, I mean my sister''s gaze is burning a hole through my head, this time not literally. "Ah! Erm... See here, the thing is..." The cat-dog continued on to explain what he was doing. Apparently, his race is on the brink of extinction and was forced to the end of the world where only the void exists, or something like that. I wan''t paying attention on some parts because it was so dull and generic; a cliche if you will, but with this cat-dog alien instead of an old man. "So you want me to save your people or something like that?" "Yes! I heard you yelling that you were the greatest so I came to you for help." Something about that sentence irritated me. ''I am the greatest''...I didn''t think I yelled it THAT loud. Maybe I will need to prepare for a mouthful from my neighbours. But first of all... "This is interesting..." I pondered for a bit, eyeing Arie and cat-dog back and forth. Meh, now that I think about it, I got nothing to do anyway, "okay." "Erm... what?" He seems confused for some reason. Was my answer that hard to comprehend? "''Okay'' I will go to the end of the world." I''ve done everything here and got nothing else left. This is the next seemingly-impossible thing on my lost list now. It''s crazy, it''s weird, and most of all, it''s perfect. "Pack the lab Arie! We are going on a journey!" "Yes! Mr. Neonlapis, please go to the surface." Both cat-dog and Iwalked back up to the surface and waited for Arie, though cat-dog doesn''t seem to understand what we are doing. I don''t think most would anyway. "Erm...What are-" "Just wait." The next moment, the door to the basement closed suddenly and the ground shook. A minute later, the door opened up again, but only a lonesome girl stood there. The staircase going down to the basement laboratory was replaced by a small empty closet. "I''m done packing professor!" The girl was Arie, her physical avatar similar to the digital one. Black hair, smooth skin, even if it is an artificial body, no one can tell just from looking. But there was one problem in her greeting... "Please call me brother." "..." Both cat-dog looked at me strangely. Arie... that''s weird, judging from her sinister stare of death, I think she just mistook me as a pervert. "Anyway... I searched for a possible hero to save my species by my race''s fastest ship, the Bridger Light. I parked it on top your living quarter after I heard your calling." Wait, by living quarter, does he mean... ... "NOOOOO, MY SUPER DELUXE CUSTOMISED ALL-PURPOSE MOBILE COMFORT UNIT (batteries not included)!!!" "Wait, wasn''t it just the ''customised all-purpose chair (batteries not included)''?" "YOU DON''T UNDERSTAND ARIE! THAT WAS MY FIRST INVENTION AND IT TOOK ME YEARS TO CUSTOMISE IT INTO SOMETHING PERFECT!!!" "Don''t worry, professor is just throwing a fake tantrum to hide that fact that you crushed all of his special materials." "Special mater-?" "OKAY! let''s go onto your ship and save the Neonlapis race, my friend. We haven''t much time to waste," I quickly interrupted their conversation for no reason, cough cough. And so, we began our journal to save a race of alien on the end of the world. I''m obviously excited for this journey. "You know, you seem really relax for something like saving an entire alien specie, not to mention the fact that you shouldn''t even be trusting me to guide you since you don''t know me well enough to be trusted." Before we even took one step, cat-dog interrupted once again. "Well, cat-do-" "It''s Neo, Neo Fractise." "Well, cat-dog..." ignoring his interruption to what would be my greatest speech yet, the fact that I forgot what I was going to say stopped me before I say more. So, I just went back to my usual talking. But then... "Professor is an oddball. His like to do anyone and everything, even if it seems impossible. Actually, especially if it seems impossible." ARRHH! Why do people always interrupt me when I''m talking?. "But... Are you sure you want to do this?" "Hey. Look at me." This time, I''m definitely getting the last line. "The pathway will be unclear, but the mystery is part of the fun (I think)." Yes! And now, we walk. We walk far! Into my crushed bedroom. This is it. This is how it should go. Saying the last line and walk forwards like a badass. "I just hope nothing goes wrong." Damn it Arie! Now I need to make sure that isn''t going to be a death flag for us all! 2nd - A bigger boa- I mean ship 2nd - A bigger boa- I mean ship "You know, something about this doesn''t feel right to me." I looked at the so call ''fastest ship'' made by the same race as the brown fuzzball beside me and questioned my reality. I mean, this is real right? The "Bridger Light", whoever named it has a pretty good naming sense in my book. But looking at it physically, it''s only a small cruiser ship that three cat-dogs can ride on. Note the word: CAT-DOGS. "Erm, I don''t know what you are thinking about, but it''s Neonlapis." "Too long, cat-dog it is." "But my name is shorter?" "Sorry, no take-backs." Anyway, going back onto my previous train of thought... "We need a bigger boa- I mean ship. This one is way too small to fit even Arie." That was close, almost made an out-of-date joke there. I wander if the cat-dog race even thought about bringing an ally way bigger than themselves using this ship. And now I''m starting to wander if they are all idiots like (most of) our cats and dogs. "Well... I didn''t think that I would be bringing something as big as you." Yep, they''re idiots. "*sigh* We are using my ship then." Trying to stop myself from breaking my face with my palm, I head back indoors with Arie. Left alone, cat-dog only followed behind me. "You have a ship?" Cat-dog asking such an obviously-answered question. "Don''t everyone have a ship?" What? Why are you looking at me like that? Not you too Arie!? "Despite the fact that professor is a prodigy in achieving whatever he wants, he''s an idiot when it come to things he''s not interested in and just assumes whatever he thinks. A stubborn narcissist, if you like." Hey Arie! What the hell are you saying?! "I see, a stubborn narcissist." "What the hell are you saying?!" "Why do I only get a live retort?!" Like this, we continued through the house. Passing the strangely average corridor again (Oh man, the goosebumps), we advanced into the living room. "Where are we going?" What a stupid question, to get the ship of course. But I can''t keep reacting to everything this cat-dog says, it''s getting more and more irritating to retort. Now past the basement door, we arrive at the entrance to the garage. What use is a garage if you don''t park your vehicle in it? Especially when you got a twin-turbo electromagnetic generators with alloy-combined haul and nano-technologically constructed atom-perfect screen and- "Professor. Sorry to interrupt your little description monologue there but can you open the ship for us before you go into another one of your prideful moments?" Damn it, now I don''t feel it describing it again. What is with everyone today, interrupting my interior monologue all the time. "Fine, here." I took the ship''s keys from the hooks on the wall and click the ''open'' button on the key. The ship blinks twice, meaning it''s unlocked. Arie and cat-dog went on-board first, leaving me out here continuing my interior monologue. I also realise that I may need a better vehicle security than a regular car alarm. You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version. Oh, and erm, the ship''s name is Jetson On-song. It was the first thing that popped up in my mind so... "Come on professor, I can''t start the ship without you." I guess I''ll just abandon my train of thought into the depths of my mind and get going,before I go mad with whatever I''m thinking about again. Man, still remember that one train of thought that almost drove me into a never-ending coma, literally. Anyway, I got on my ship, inserted the key, verified my hand-prints, started up the engine and yadeyadeyada... "We got everything for the trip right?" I asked Arie. "Current and reserved preserved food, all packed in the PD." That''s pocket dimension by the way. "What''s PD?" "I already explained it in my head." "What? Bu-" No time explaining it again, I interrupted cat-dog. "Now, TO ADVENTURE!!" I broken through the roof and warped into the far, far universe. Though most of my house was ruined, half by me and half by cat-dog, next time, I''m going through the garage door instead of the roof. ---------------Meanwhile--------------- ||SOME RANDOM LOCAL NEWS|| "The reports showed an unknown object, presumed to be a two metre long meteorite, crashing into the local neighbourhood at the time of 3:53. The object was soon discovered to have landed on the property of Theor Less, super-genius scientist, all-purpose inventor, founder of the multi-national corporation ''Boreless'' and internet celebrity. Fortunately, it appears that Mr. Less was not present at the time of the crash as evident from his newest, strange tweeter post: ''Cya gays im off to teh end of teh wrld!'', as usual." ||SOME OTHER SHOWS|| "What do you make of this?" (Host) "What can I make of this? Nothing. Most of the posts that Theor Less has posted had something to do with whatever he was currently doing. MOST. Remember that post from last month? ''Puppie''s alive, with kawaii face''. What the hell that means, not something I would ever know." (''expert'' 1) "Well, the internet has theorised that he somehow found a way to actually go the the end of the world like the post says. Slightly absurd if you ask me." (''expert'' 2) "Slightly absurd? Yes. But not impossible. This is Theor Less we are talking about." (''expert'' 3) "I guess you''re right/Yeah." (''expert'' 1 and 2) ... What idiots. I already found a way to the end of the world ages ago. Actually, first of all, why the hell is there a show about analysing my tweets anyway? They''re normal! I even tried typing them like a normal teenager does it. Everyone should understand that, can''t they?