《Apocalypse》 Chapter 1 : Welcome To Apocalypse ¡°RIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG¡± ¡°OHHHYEAAAAAA I''M DONE WITH ALL THIS SHIT!¡± Yelled Anthony at the top of his lungs. It was the last day of school. But it wasn''t just an ordinary last day of school because this really was the last day of school. The day where we graduate as seniors, the day we finish our high school journey. I looked around the class. Everyone was happy that it was the last day of high school. That we really had our lives to move on to now and not just live in the path that was paved to us by the government. We could choose to get a diploma or a degree, we could even start work now and establish a career. But despite this joyous occasion of not having to hit the books anymore, majority of the people around us had tears in their eyes. Including me. ¡°HAHAHAHA JINX IS A CRYBABY!¡± Anthony shouted. ¡°HAHAHA STUPID JIN-X!¡± Zack tried to follow but broke his voice because he too was tearing a bit. Joe was just bawling his eyes out because this bromantic journey has reached its inevitable end. Graduating is always hard. Especially if you had a girlfriend that was a junior. ¡°NOOOOOOOOO!¡± Suzy came bawling into class the moment she heard the bell ring and hugged me, using my shirt as a towel. I''ve grown to become quite reliant on her and the opposite was true as well. The beauty of it was that because she was so used to hanging out in our group, we could totally be ourselves and still be with the group so I didn''t have to choose one group to spend more time with. I could go out with the three of them and still bring Suzy along with me. Of course we have our own private dates but that just means the private time together becomes that much more special for us. ¡°Guys. If any of you lose contact just because we might not go to the same place in the future... I will personally chase you down to the ends of the earth and literally stick my finger up your ass.¡± Joe said. ¡°I''m fine with it but can you not include Suzy in this deal?¡± I said. ¡°I''m going to purposely run away so that Joe will come chasing after me. Awwww.¡± Anthony chimed. ¡°Let''s screw this wave of emotion and reminiscence. We still have a place we can easily meet in no matter the circumstance right?¡± Zack said. The five of us nodded. It has been a 15-16 months since we successfully killed Norse gods and became gods ourselves in RR (RoyalRoad). Things have been pretty hectic since then. All of us had to stop screwing around for a bit and establish churches in different towns, try to get more followers because the more followers we had, the greater our powers became. Of course it was not an easy task but it was greatly facillitated by the media coverage of the great battle of the Bifrost. Apparently, one of the citizens of Carnival was a member of a broadcasting company and he turned on a video recording of the entire fight. The viewer count and ratings shot through the roof and everyone loved the end result. Sure there were heavy casualties on both sides but at the end of the day, who doesn''t like to see the underdog and more importantly the retard joker come out on top? We repaired Carnival first and foremost to become an even more glorious masterpiece, shining even brighter than the original Carnival which was ruined because rainbow sacks had to fly to rescue Fenrir and the fountain was demolished. Now, Carnival was back in action with an even bigger surface area, walls twice as thick and twice as high as the original and a whopping 10,000 in game players and NPCs residing within our walls. That was just the people who were permanently residing here. Including tourists and players who stop by, the usual populace was estimated to be about 20,000. Making it crowded, noisy, chaotic. Just like a Carnival should be. Apparently all of us had a competition who would have the most followers and not surprisingly, Breadtalk had the most followers after 1 full year in game. Since 16 months have passed in real life, 64 months have passed in RR and as such, most of us already had a sizeable number of followers and we also thought of something entirely original to our churches. We made our churches not only a place for worship, solace and quests but also a school. We could impart our skills to our followers should they choose to pay a fee and of course it won''t be as godly as our powers, we could still teach them some skills. For example, Breadtalk''s church had a class called ¡°Retard101¡± that teaches you how to do things so unpredictable in the battle it would throw the whole flow of the battle in a random direction which was pretty handy when things were looking bad. Soup''s church had a more practical class that would train the followers to be more resilient to physical damage and train their strength and vitality. Similarly, my church trains magic and intelligence. Since Mana Manipulation was a skill I could not impart to others just like that, just as Dumblemore has told me, I could only teach spells, especially darkness and water spells to my followers. Loki was busy roaming the world to introduce his new set of Norse gods to the world and try to find capable people to join the church as well. As such, apart from the all capable Hermes, we had found replacments for Skadi, Thor and Odin as well. This time of course the hierarchy was changed and Loki was the king of the Norse gods. Odin''s reincarnate simply had a fighting style similar to that of the past Odin so he was given the title. All of this was in preparation for what Loki predicted would be the next huge quest we would all be involved in. He called it, Apocalypse. Unknowing to us, all over the RR world, many gods were doing the same thing. It seemed like all the gods have predicted this ever since Ragnarok and soon, it was time to settle it once and for all. The true value of religion. The basis of all religion and that being: ¡°My God is the one true God.¡± ¡°Alright guys lets go grab some pizza for lunch and get back to RR. Loki says something big is going to happen today lets go check it out.¡± I suggested. After 24 slices of pizza among the 5 of us, (we all have huge appetites) I headed back to the pod at home which I have not really been active in because of studying for the university entrance examinations which happen just before we graduate. A familiar darkness enveloped me followed by a promp i''ve seen for the umpteenth time. Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.
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¡°Yes.¡± I respawned in the middle of the familiar town square i''ve designed for Carnival and boy oh boy, everyone around me recognised me. ¡°OMG ITS JINX!¡± ¡°ASK FOR A SIGNATURE QUICK¡± Nope time to go. Time to get the fuck out of here. I teleported to the top of the castle which was now a lot grander than it used to be. You see I could shapeshift into the shape and size of how Jormungandr is supposed to be with a skill but because its so freaking huge I usually like to stay in my default avatar form. The same goes for the rest of the BOTs. Everyone knows its us though because we''re pretty much famous for Carnival and there''s statues of us both proper in the town square and significantly altered due to the food sculptures in Breadtalk''s East spine. Shortly after, I saw notification boxes telling me the rest of them have come online. ¡°Meeting room?¡± Soup asked. ¡°Meeting room.¡± Zack confirmed. We made a meeting room inside the castle which served as a room for planning and strategizing. When we stepped in however, it was... A surprise to say the least. The usual oaken, grand furniture was replaced entirely with pinkish hello kitty furnitures. The huge round table in the middle was now pink and surrounding it were no longer 10 red and golden chairs but 10 chairs with a hello kitty face for a backrest. The torches around the wall of the room were replaced with hello kitty standing lamps and even the walls were of a hello kitty wallpaper. ¡°What the heck?¡± I said. All of us turned to look at Breadtalk. ¡°I swear by every hair on my body it wasn''t me.¡± He said, wide-eyed as well. All of us were puzzled by the change in furniture and suddenly, Loki teleported into the room as well. ¡°MY GOD! What a beautiful job you''ve done Breadtalk!¡± He exclaimed. All of us turned to look at him again. ¡°HAHAHA all of you are so gullible. I swear. I think I might even be able to make you think I have two dicks instead of one.¡± He said. -Two minutes later- ¡°Loki is it true? Have you received credible information about the upcoming event?¡± I asked, covering Horses'' eyes with my hands. ¡°Mmmmmppppffffff!!!¡± Breadtalk was rolling around the floor, fully naked with a cucumber stuffed into the back of his pelvis just below the waist in between two buttcheeks so he really did have 2 dicks for the time being. Loki went to sit down on a chair, put his legs on top of Breadtalk, pushing the cucumber in further before answering very seriously. ¡°Yes. It''s called the Apocalypse. From what I heard, the deciding factions have all been decided. And YES WE ARE INCLUDED WOOOOOOO!¡± ¡°HELLYEAHHHHHH!¡± We all cheered. For several weeks now, there have been a rumour that the creators of RR wanted to create an epic showdown to mirror that which happened between the Norse gods and they decided to involve every major god there is. Since there is no ultimate ruler in RR yet, the producers decided to give the title of ultimate ruler/creator/god/whatnot to the god that wins this royal rumble. Everything is not finalised though until the quest has been given out. However, just in that moment, all of the BOTs received a new quest notification.
Quest Received : Apocalypse RoyalRoad is deciding once and for all who is the greatest ruler of them all. There have been 8 factions contending for this crown which were chosen based on one simple criteria. Population. The 8 most popular gods among the players in game will fight for this title. As adapted from the Bible, ¡°The Apocalypse¡± is a form of divine judgement. Only one true god will come into power after this selection. These are the 8 selected factions : 1) Christianity 2) Hinduism 3) Islamic 4) Egyptian 5) Norse 6) Greek 7) Buddhism 8) Satanists The way this selection will be held is through random competitions which may involve sports, tournaments, old fashioned battle competitions, quests, trials and maybe even a good old fashioned Carnival war. Quest Difficulty : Unavailable You will not be able to choose whether you want to participate or not. Once you belong to the 8 factions, you will automatically be involved in this battle. However, there is a catch. Some trials require huge amounts of people. Others only require some. So each faction has to choose a representative to be their God. This ¡°God¡± will eventually take power over the entire faction. He or She will then be the one deciding who to use for the trials. Additional information will be subsequently announced. For now, you have three days time. In three days, you must announce the representative for your faction. Cheers, RoyalRoad Administrators
Breadtalk tried to shapeshift into a lion to escape the torture of our hands but even when he did change into a lion, the cucumber was still stuck in his ass so it wasn''t helping but it was really really funny. ¡°Alright guys. I know I''m in charge of the Norse gods so I should be the God by right. However, I''m finding it too much of a responsibility now. I currently have the power to choose the God so I can relinquish my power to someone else. Does anyone want to represent the Norse gods? It''s no easy task mind you. The other factions are definitely powerful as well. No faction can afford to let their guard down if they want to win this. Despite knowing this does anyone dare to take up this mantle?¡± Loki announced. One hand rose up into the air.
End of Chapter 1
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Chapter 2 : The Factions One shaking hand rose up. Or should i say paw. Breadtalk was still in his lion form, waving his paw up in the air whilst his face was still contorted with pain. Highly likely due to the cucumber sticking out of his posterior. Suddenly, he bent down at an angle, his face changed and a sound equivalent of a large cannon being shot off filled the room. The cucumber flew out of his ass and straight into Soup''s face. ¡°ME ME! I wanna be god! OH MAI GOD think of all the fun stuff we could do!!¡± Breadtalk exclaimed while the rest of us were laughing out asses off at Soup who''s face so clearly spelt ''disgust'' with a priceless facial expression. Loki looked over at Breadtalk with a huge smile on his face. ¡°HAHAHA my new addition into the Norse family and my ex-disciple huh. I thought Jinx would wanna do it cos he''s usually the more responsible one out of all of you.¡± Nop. Being with them looking after them is already such a chore. Taking over the entire faction and managing thousands of people? Nuh uh. Nop. Not even if Breadtalk shoots 100 of those cucumbers at me. Horse looked at me and smiled. She knew what I was thinking already. ¡°Alright then Breadtalk. I think if you''re in charge, the least we could all say is that this quest will no doubt be an interesting one. And why would we wanna win something other than a beautiful and interesting game right?¡± Loki asked. All of us nodded in agreement. ¡°Very well. Let me invite the new addition of our families over.¡± *POOF* ¡°BOTs, I would like you to meet the new Skadi, Thor and Odin. Guys introduce yourselves! And oh don''t worry. They will fit into the group dynamics quite splendidly.¡± Loki added. First up was a male who looked to be 2-3 years older than us. He had unkempt medium length black hair and a typical ''Just got out of bed look'' ¡°Hello. My name is Reaven. I''ve been selected to be the next Thor. Pleased to make your acquaintance.¡± He said. Seems like a prim and proper nice chap even though he looks like that. Next was a lady who was extremely fair, had long brown hair with big eyes, a small cute nose and a nice shy smile. ¡°Hi. My name is Wanda. I hope to be good friends with all of you.¡± She said in a timid voice. The last of them was a tall boy around the same age as us who had short black hair. He was quite fair as well but his most prominent feature was his cold, black eyes. ¡°Hello. My name is Rogue. Pleased to meet you.¡± He said in an equally cold hard voice. ¡°Wanda''s quite the looker.¡± I whispered to Horse. ¡°OOOOMMMMPFFF.¡± I said next, whimpering to a nearby hello kitty chair, clutching my balls. Apparently Horse hasn''t changed one bit. She was still obsessed with penises but not in the way I would want that obsession to be. Apparently she couldn''t care less if it could work should there come a time I would pull a 50 shades of grey on her. ¡°Wanda let me show you around.¡± Breadtalk initiated, took her by the hand and quite literally kidnapped her and flew out of the meeting room using his wings from Baldy the Eagle. (Weapon number 5 in case you forgot.) *POOF* ¡°SOUPPPPPPP!¡± A familiar voice screamed. Soup turned around and saw. ¡°MACARONIIII!!!¡± He shouted as he went to embrace her. Soup and Macaroni started going out in real life about 4 months after Horse and I went out. Meeting people through RR was the most common way to meet the opposite sex now. Online dating has reached a new level. Beathoven went to greet Rogue and Reaven and decided to give them a VIP tour of the town since this was the first time they''ve been to Carnival. With this, we got the usuals, Beathoven, Soup, Breadtalk, Horse, Macaroni and I, along with Reaven, Rogue, Wanda and Loki. We already had 10 gods on our side! Well techincally 9. Macaroni was not really a god she was still just a disciple of Surtr but we knew very well what a great help she could be. -Meanwhile- ¡°WHERE THE HELL IS MOSES?!¡± ¡°Dear sire, please relax. Don''t curse.¡± ¡°DON''T TELL ME HELL IS A SWEAR WORD. EVEN I CAN CURSE YOU KNOW!¡± The door burst open and a panting young man with shaggy brown hair stood in the doorway. ¡°I''m so sorry Jesus. I can exp-¡± ¡°SORRY?! You know if I could be late, I would have chose to rise again on the 30thday instead of the 3rdyou know! I COULD''VE ENJOYED 27 MORE DAYS IN HEAVEN! BUT NOOOOOOO I CHOSE TO BE PUNCTUAL. BECAUSE MY DAD TOLD ME I NEED TO RISE AGAIN AFTER 3 DAYS. If my dad took 6 years instead of 6 days to create the universe THINGS WOULD HAVE BEEN VERY DIFFERENT AS WELL YOU KNOW. DON''T UNDERESTIMATE LATECOMING FAGGOT!¡± Jesus screamed. ¡°MY APOLOGIES SIRE!¡± Moses immediately shouted and went on his knees. ¡°Rise. Don''t test my patience again. And next time if you''re really running late, just cut through the moat. If you can split an ocean I don''t see why you can''t split apart a moat and jump through the back wall to reach this cathedral faster.¡± ¡°Yes Jesus. My sincere apologies.¡± ¡°Alright now go pin yourself up on that crucifix over there.¡± ¡°WHAT?!¡± ¡°Just kidding. Let''s get onto the real matter at hand. Council. Rise.¡± The full table of Jesus and his twelve disciples rose to their feet along with over 30 significant people of status inside their meeting room. ¡°Today, we discuss the Apocalypse. But before that. Let''s have a last supper.¡± -Meanwhile 2- A blackened figure was sitting alone, desolate and lonely on his throne in a cave. His cave which was located so far from any civilisation. The cave itself led into a crater of a volcano so it was hot as hell as well. But it was a cave so huge it could easily fit a town inside. ¡°My lord, I''ve brought what you''ve tasked me to bring. I''m sorry it took so long.¡± ¡°No. You did well apostle. You did so well in bringing this to me. Just in time as well. Better late than never but you weren''t even late. Come here let me give you a reward.¡± The figure said. The apostle walked towards his lord. ¡°Here. I stumbled across these when I was venturing in disguise at a town earlier. They''re called Milkybars if I''m not wrong. I had a few of them and I loved it so much I bought every available piece in stock and shipped them over here. They''re in the refrigerator over there.¡± He pointed to a fridge the size of 20 cupboards. ¡°Take them as you wish. Anytime. Any amount. I am forever grateful.¡± If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. ¡°MY LORD! I know how much you love sweet treats. This means so much to me I''ll appreciate this priceless reward. I will always be faithful.¡± He pledged. Satan stood up wearing his pink Nike trainers along with matching singlets and shorts and pat his apostle on his head. ¡°There there. You know how nice I am. Just continue giving me your best and I''ll do the same.¡± He said as he put the book down on his throne. It read : ''Ars Goetia ¨C Part 1 of the Lesser Key of Solomon'' -Meanwhile 3- A mysterious figure was sitting on a lotus, in full bloom on a pond. ¡°Master Master! The quest is out!¡± ¡°Relax young one. Nirvana cannot be reached if you get so excited over something so small.¡± ¡°How is this small master?¡± ¡°In the face of the universe. Everything is small. It is through nothingless that we attain the ultimate enlightenment.¡± ¡°Master. You know if you win this you will become the ultimate ruler of the universe and you can make your own rules right. Like if you become a vegetarian you become two times stronger or stuff like that.¡± ¡°YOU SHOULD''VE TOLD THIS TO ME SOONER. I''M GONNA BUDDHA PALM STRIKE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!¡± -Meanwhile 4- In the depths of a labyrinth far far away, a holy figure engulfed and loved by the light was sitting atop his throne, gazing into nothing, planning ahead of his time. ¡°Your holiness, the quest is here.¡± ¡°I''m aware of that. Call Isis and Osiris over.¡± Ra loved the two of them the most out of all his council because they were wise, good natured, committed and extremely loyal. ¡°I take it the two of you have heard about the turn of events?¡± ¡°Of course your grace.¡± ¡°Listen, I am turning old.. I don''t think I have the power, confidence and drive to follow through with this. As such, I believe the wisest decision is to give this throne to someone I deem more capable to do it.¡± ¡°Your grace are you sure? All you''ve done are marvellous jobs. Look at this great pyramid we are in! It''s all due to your efforts.¡± ¡°Yes but time and tide waits for no man. Time governs all. Come Osiris. I have much to teach you still. Don''t worry I will still be involved in this event. However, it is you who should represent us.¡± In the depths of the corridor, lurking deep in the shadows, a trembling hand clenched into the shape of a fist was shaking, undeniably because of anger. Set wanted to be the ruler and he had already proved his bravery, courage and worth. -Meanwhile 5- Two hooded figures ran into the building. ¡°We need to pray and ask for guidance now!¡± They chanted a few verses of the Quran and settled into a deep prayer. ¡°Oh dear Allah, we have heard about the quest. We do not have the power to opposte the other factions. We need your help.¡± Suddenly, the floor of the mosque started glowing and suddenly, three figures appeared beside them. ¡°Allah has heard your sincere prayers. He will personally oversee this event. We are malaks sent to you all to temporarily provide leadership and unite all the disciples of Allah. We will lead you to victory.¡± -Meanwhile 6- ¡°SILENCE!¡± A voice roared across the hall at the top of Mount Olympus. Everyone rose to their feet as their king walked past, heading straight for the throne, white hair flowing behind him clutching his favourite weapon, a thunder bolt. ¡°I trust everyone here has heard about the war. This council is called just for that event. We have so many gods and goddesses at our disposal I''m only concerned about one thing. Victory. Athena will be my chief strategist I''m sure no one will have any arguments about that. Poseidon and Hades will be my generals. I expect no complaints. Everyone can play a part in this event and I will use whoever I deem worthy for the challenges. Don''t forget. We have a hero who has completed his twelve labours. We will not lose.¡± Roars and cheers can be heard from the massive council. It was in the triple digits. There was little doubt in Zeus''s mind that he had the largest firepower of all the factions. -Meanwhile 7- ¡°Vishnu! Shiva! My room now.¡± ¡°At once Brahma.¡± they replied. They gathered in the biggest room of the royal temple. ¡°I trust that you are aware of the situation. I''m going to retain my right as god and representative of Hinduism. However, this is the chance to overtake Christianity and Islam to be the biggest religion. I''m going to need all your help.¡± ¡°I understand my lord. I will activate all my avatars as you need and wish. All you need is ask.¡± Vishnu added. ¡°I will destroy anything that opposes your wishes.¡± Shiva added. ¡°I know you two will. We will show them the true power of our faction.¡± -Back to the most retarded faction of all- ¡°So how did the date go Wanda?¡± I asked jokingly. ¡°It went great! Breadtalk was such a gentleman even though he kinda kidnapped me away but it was pretty fun! He''s really well liked here huh.¡± She replied. Horse and I had our jaws dropped so low mine could almost reach the floor. Because Horse was slightly shorter than me, she managed to hit the floor with her jaw. ¡°BREADTALK WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER. HOW MUCH MONEY DID YOU GIVE HER???¡± Horse shouted as she walked towards Breadtalk. Reaven and Rogue had also become more familiar with Soup and Beathoven. Reaven was actually quite a crazy guy. The moment he saw the culture of Carnival he just became himself and went around spraying alcohol everywhere especially onto hot girls. Rogue clearly became more relaxed and his eyes instead of being jet black and deadly were now a deep, calm river of nothingness with no hostility detected. ¡°Alright guys. We''ve become friendly with each other so now lets move on to the next stage of getting to know each other! We''ll go to The Ascension and find out how each of us fights!¡± Loki announced. All of us turned abruptly and looked at him. He killed quite a good mood going on. ¡°What? Don''t worry we''ll get even closer once we all fight each other.¡± Loki smiled and led the way. Looks like we''re going to the utmost depths about knowing each other. Nothing like making up after a fist fight to deepen relationships is there?
End of Chapter 2
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Chapter 3 : Lets Play A Game Author¡¯s note: Sorry I¡¯ve been MIA for so long guys. I¡¯ve taken quite a hiatus in order to pursue my own interests first. I wanted to check off many things off my bucket list so I¡¯ve gone and done that over the past 3 months of my life. Now, I finally have the time and resources available to continue giving you all what I hope will be an even greater series to the prequel. I can see more potential in this plot for sure. I know that this may be a sensitive topic to some of my readers. I can safely assure you that as much as I like jokes, I DO NOT view religion as just a joke. I respect that some people truly are better and more complete with a religious belief instilled in them and this piece of work I¡¯m embarking on is not one to soil those important beliefs. I DON¡¯T WANT to undermine your faith and this story does not serve that purpose at all. That being said, please understand that I will still poke fun at certain religious stories because it is necessary for a better story. They will all contain faucets of truth e.g. Moses splitting apart water, David shooting a Goliath in the eye, Buddha palm strikes, Islam¡¯s disadvantage of not being able to touch pork related products. These WILL happen. However they are NOT meant to undermine you and your religion. Please take this with a light heart and try to enjoy this FICTIONAL story. Finally, I¡¯ve researched an extensive amount on the 8 religions so after reading this there is an actual academic, intellectual takeaway with solid facts aside from the crude jokes so let¡¯s get down to it yes? =D ¡°My my it¡¯s been awhile since we last set foot here haven¡¯t we?¡± Loki asked. All of us looked around, at the even bigger version of The Ascension. The number of spectators it could hold has increased to a whopping ten thousand. Half of the city¡¯s population. There were bigger TV screens, an even bigger announcer¡¯s room with only one thing unchanged after so long since it was first built. The nostalgic view of two huge balloon castles and the three lanes leading to it. I still can¡¯t believe this was built due to Breadtalk¡¯s utter gibberish. I really don¡¯t know if he¡¯s an idiot or a pure genius. All of us headed down to the arena. It was still 12 noon so people in Carnival were still at work due to the 7 day work week rule (Everyone works every day from morning till 1pm). It had been awhile since my last Carnival War. We had been so busy with restoration after Ragnarok that it was impossible to find time for other things. Finally the time had come again. Or so I thought. ¡°Today, I will not be asking you all to fight each other in a Carnival War system. Today it¡¯s about getting to know each other better while fighting at the same time so I¡¯ve already made a game. It¡¯s a game all of you should be familiar with.¡± Loki begun. Please don¡¯t let it be something stupid, please don¡¯t let it be something stupid¡­ ¡°It¡¯s a game called : Tag, You¡¯re it!¡± I never ever get my way don¡¯t I. ¡°The rules are simple. I attach this bomb at random to someone amongst you all. This bomb will get bigger and bigger over time and oh yes the weight gets heavier and heavier as well. This bomb will be transferred to another player once you manage to touch or an instance of attack lands on your target. After a certain amount of time, this bomb will reach it¡¯s limit and blow up.¡± Loki explained ¡°So¡­ Basically just not getting tagged is the best way to win this game?¡± Breadtalk asked. ¡°Naturally. Any other questions? It¡¯s really quite a simple game.¡± Loki continued. All of us shook our heads. It really was a simple game. However there were tons of strategy one could adopt. Oh well I guess leaving us so much room to decide what we wanted to do would help us know one another better. Especially the three new Norse Gods who just joined our ranks. Rogue, Reaven and Wanda¡­ ¡°Alright since the preparations are complete. I am not playing by the way touching me will be of no use unless it¡¯s any of the three women here who want to touch me hehe let the game begin.¡± Loki announced. What seemed to look like a black pokeball appeared at the top of Beathoven¡¯s right shoulder. ¡°OH COME ON WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?!¡± He said as he transformed immediately into his demon form. I teleported to the top of the red castle immediately from the middle of the map since that¡¯s where we all were at the start of the game. I needed to distance myself as far away from the bomber as possible. Beathoven had long ranged attacks in his demon form and his speed was almost on par with Soup when he was in his alpha wolf form. Suddenly, the scenery around me started to get distorted. It was tilting to one side, slowly at first then faster towards the opposite side. All of a sudden, everything swirled into confusion and I was standing in a field of cherry blossoms with Horse standing about 3 feet away from me. ¡°OHHHH FUCK. ILLUSION MAGIC. NOT COOL BRO.¡± I yelled as I tried to figure out a way through this illusion. Illusion magic was a very rare form of magic not classified into any of the eight elements. One could only use this magic upon learning very very specific skills and there are even fewer classes who could learn these skills. Every illusion magic is specific in the sense that it shows everyone ONE thing. I¡¯ve heard of an illusion magic which shows people their worst fears but this one obviously wasn¡¯t it. I looked around and in the field of cherry blossoms, I saw a well decorated, spacious and large bed. Hell no. I¡¯m not a pervert I¡¯m not a pervert I¡¯m not a pervert. Horse began to undress herself. NOOOO I¡¯M NOT GOING TO DO MY FIRST TIME IN A FUCKING FANTASY I closed my eyes. That seemed to work until Horse took my hand. It seemed like Illusion magic could govern all of your senses and not only sight. I had to think of something fast and I remembered that in order to interrupt an illusion, one had to either come into contact with the one who cast the illusion or break the caster¡¯s concentration. I could not see where Beathoven was because I was obviously looking at a very twisted desire of mine so I decided to go with the latter. ¡°TSUNAMI!¡± I screamed. It was the highest level water spell available in the game. I spent about a quarter of my mana just casting one spell and the results were always amazing to watch. From my outstretched hand, a torrenting whirlpool started rising up until it hit the top of the dome covering the arena. Usually it would go up to about 100 meters but now was limited by the dome. The whirlpool exploded outward, releasing huge amounts of water instantaneously and the entire dome became an aquarium in half a second. Of course I couldn¡¯t see it happening as I was in the illusion but I¡¯ve casted Tsunami so many times I knew what it could do. When I finally broke out of the illusion, I saw that the now slightly larger bomb was not on me but rather, a gigantic wolf swimming its way towards Breadtalk. However, it wasn¡¯t underwater combat for long. In a split second, my aquarium had become a steamy sauna. There was little question about who did it. Macaroni used Inferno to evaporate all my water instantly to steam and that steam explosion made everything cloudy for a while, making the hulking, unmistakable outline of Soup in his wolf form that much scarier since he was rather large. His speed was unbelievable and soon enough, he tagged someone else as the bomber. This time, everyone didn¡¯t know what to expect in the least. The steam started to clear away and the bomber was.. Rogue. With a hugeass bomb over his right shoulder. Everyone turned their attention to him. Odin had been a huge trouble in the past because of that insane damage output he had with Gungir and his versatility in combat. For some reason or another, he did not have Sleipnir so I guess that was one thing good for us. However that thought soon vanished as Rogue begun his attack. He summoned an entire flock of ravens which appeared from the sky. But then the raven¡¯s suddenly disappeared. Just when I was wondering what happened, I remembered something from Jormungundr¡¯s teachings. ¡°Disciple. Preparation is a magician¡¯s greatest weapon. Insight is a warrior¡¯s greatest weapon. Since you are both, you must be equally adept in both. Your experience will guide your insight and preparation to higher levels so always remember what you¡¯ve learnt in the past.¡± My master¡¯s voice from my memory found its way to my brain. If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it. I immediately put up a sphere of mist created from water and wind 3 meters around myself. All of a sudden, from the corner of my eye, I saw the globe of mist distort slightly in a straight line, a line leading straight to my chest. I swung my katana straight at the object. Lightning impulse made me react faster than anyone can due to the added electrical activity in my synapses. The invisible raven was split cleanly into two as it was struck, revealing that my doubts were indeed correct. He was indeed Odin, capable of summons units which had invisibility numbering in the hundreds. When I looked back at Odin, he wasn¡¯t the bomber anymore. Looks like someone was struck by one of the ravens. Then, I saw who was carrying the bomb. To clarify, I didn¡¯t see who was carrying the bomb. I saw the bomb first before who was carrying it because the bomb had grown to a size of a fully grown man now. It was kinda ironic that it was him though. Raven stricken Reaven was practically pissing his pants and you could see it. How would the next Thor carry out this tag mission? Thunderclouds loomed inside the dome and I wanted to kick myself. Of course this would be the most efficient method. Like how I engulfed the entire arena in water, Thor could do the same with something infinitely quicker than water. Lightning. I quickly made myself a barrier but not just any barrier. Lightning could travel through almost any defence. Even if you made a barrier of earth around you, lightning bolts conjured by Mjollnir was no laughing matter. I racked my brain and decided to weigh the odds. I needed a lot of mana for this but this wasn¡¯t the time to decide if it was worth it or not. I made the ultimate barrier around me that I was capable of. It required making a uniform layer of black holes around me all at once. A complete vacuum surrounding me which could absorb anything and everything. It was after months of research and experimentation before I came up with this. My ultimate defence. The drawback of course was the insane mana cost despite my Ouroboros seal and mana regeneration, the maximum amount of time I could keep this up is 1 minute. One minute. Burning through one million mana in one minute was not something many spells could do. This was not many spells. An onslaught of lightning barrages came shortly after and I was pretty sure this was Reaven¡¯s all out attack considering the size of that godforsaken bomb. The huge bomb vanished from the top of his right shoulder and sure enough his lightning has struck someone already. Not many people would be able to find a way to negate that attack for sure. The bomb which I cannot give a superlative to how much it had grown since the beginning was now so huge that you couldn¡¯t even hide if you were the bomber. The bomb would instantly show itself on the map and everyone would know your location. Except this time, there was nobody there. I activated terrasense immediately. There was somebody there. Somebody who was invisible. I looked around and figured out who it was by process of elimination. Since Horse was around, the only other person most likely to turn invisible was Wanda. However, with the huge bomb giving her location away, turning invisible could hardly be considered a strategy. Until I heard a whistle in the air. Praying that I was not too late and cursing for letting my guard down, I deployed my mist barrier again. The arrow whizzed past my right ear. THANK GOD SHE MISSED. Wait. Skadi? Miss? No I don¡¯t think that¡¯s likely¡­ I turned around behind me. The arrow definitely did not miss. It could not be any better of a bullseye. Breadtalk had been busy flying around the entire map with his Baldy the eagle form but this time he had an arrow unmistakably pierced into the very hole a cucumber was stuffed into two chapters ago. He crashed down to the ground instantly because the weight of the bomb which has now turned into a fucking skyscraper pinned him there. My estimate was that within the next minute, the bomb would go off and I don¡¯t think whoever was the bomber was going to matter. Everyone within a 20 mile radius would easily be blown to pieces except that this dome was magically enchanted never to break so I guess at least we wouldn¡¯t have to rebuild Carnival all over again. Breadtalk quickly changed his form to Anaconda, where his weapon was a rope and it looks like a magically enchanted rope from Loki¡¯s armoury was nothing to laugh at. The rope instantly became a huge net which wrapped itself around the dome on the interior, and once Breadtalk gave the command, it shot out from the sides of the dome, converging towards the centre of the arena, catching anything and everything within the dome. I used my ultimate defence yet again but it seemed that vacuums do not work on god level enchanted weapons so I was still caught within the web. Since terrasense was still on, I could tell that everyone was caught and on the ground, being rapidly pulled towards each other and then we saw it. The bomb on the shoulder of Horse which could barely even fit inside the dome already. Breadtalk¡¯s attack finished and the aftermath was 9 people (Breadtalk himself, Soup, Beathoven, Horse, Macaroni, Reaven, Rogue, Wanda and I) in one gigantic mess entangled up in a rope fighting tooth and nail to get out with a bomb hovering over all of us. The bomb was now frantically being transferred from one of us to another since all of us were basically permanently in physical contact with one another and sure enough, what was bound to happen sooner or later happened. It fucking blew up.
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OMG THAT IDIOT LOKI. IT DIDN¡¯T MATTER WHO WAS THE BOMBER ALL OF US WERE SURE TO DIE I checked my incoming messages on my mobile phone which was hooked onto the capsule so in case of emergencies in real life, you would still get to attend to it while on RoyalRoad.
Joe : Are all of you dead? Zack : Why the fuck did you have to drag everyone down together? Anthony : I¡¯m dead alright. Dying of laughter since I used that skill. Jinx : It was pretty funny on hindsight I have to admit. Everyone being dragged together to a massive bomb explosion. Anthony : Wait till you see the skills I created myself since I became a first ever original god. Zack : Why does the retard always get the best things in life? Joe : Amen. That aside, Korean BBQ anybody? After Zack casted that illusion all I saw was piles and piles of beef waiting for my consumption.
The three of us agreed and we invited everyone else. We managed to get Rogue, Reaven and Wanda¡¯s numbers and since we were all dead. Might as well hang out right? We were going to be with each other for a loooong time in this game and a very important time too. SO I REALLY AM A PERVERT?! I BET THE ILLUSION SHOWS OUR DEEPEST DESIRES. JOE SEES BEEF AND I SEE A BEDROOM SCENE? FML! I wanted to take a long warm shower but I didn¡¯t think wanking would be a solution to that desire so I ended up settling for a short warm shower.
End of Chapter 3
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Chapter 4 : And The First Trial Is.... We waited at our usual spot for everyone to arrive. Joe was there first because he was extremely excited to eat beef again. Ruby (Macaroni) was second because well there¡¯s no need to explain. Anthony, Zack, Suzy and I went together and we were left waiting for the three new additions to our team. Soon, someone who looked exactly like Reaven came up to us. He had the same unkempt black hair but he wore spectacles in real life. ¡°Heyya guys I¡¯m called Kenny.¡± He introduced himself. Rogue appeared next and his dressing style was exactly like his character. Cool, cold, hard with a leather jacket, chains hanging from his belt and pockets. It gave off a very ¡°Biker¡± feeling. ¡°Sup guys. And girls. My name is Henry.¡± And last but definitely not least, Wanda came. And in a miniskirt nonetheless. All of us immediately pulled onto the collar of Anthony¡¯s shirt because we knew if we didn¡¯t he would be sprinting over to her at top speed and pretend to fall down near her to get a good glimpse from a downward angle. She was wearing a simple top but with that miniskirt, even a simple top looked sexy. She was also quite similar to her avatar in RoyalRoad with the exception of her hair and eye colour. I doubt she even needed to change it since she already looked so good. ¡°Hello! I¡¯m Jane!¡± She greeted us lively. ¡°HELLO I¡¯M TARZAN!¡± Anthony shouted back enthusiastically while Jane was obviously amused and entertained. ¡°Come on now you can¡¯t possibly blame me for finding her beautifu-¡° I couldn¡¯t even finish my whisper to Horse because she kicked me so hard in the ass I think I would have problems sitting down later. All of us talked briefly and comfortably since we already got acquainted to each other in RoyalRoad before this. After about 10 minutes of talking, we decided to go fill our stomachs as Joe¡¯s desire could not be put on hold any longer. -30 Minutes into the meal- ¡°PASS ME MORE BEEEEEEEEEEEF!¡± Shouted Soup at the top of his lungs. All of us were eating at our favourite Korean BBQ restaurant and it was utter chaos. You know how you feel bad because you¡¯re basically killing like 3-4 cows in one meal but then again you don¡¯t feel bad at all because it just tastes so good? Yea this is always it. Currently, the record for today stands at 14 trays of beef (Each tray has about maybe 150-200g of beef?) eaten by Soup. Henry aka Rogue was at 10, Kenny was at 8 and these were the top 3. I was not a big eater so I was full after about 6 trays. Suzy ate 6 trays as well. (My wallet is gonna have a bigggg hole next time.) All of us were finishing up our meals when suddenly, a cute little girl came up to our table and stared straight at Anthony. ¡°Yes you cute little thing?¡± Anthony asked. ¡°Are you the retard on Royalroad?¡± She asked with so much innocence one could only find adorable. However, we were all too busy laughing our asses off at the novelty of that simple yet efficient question. ¡°Shut up guys. Yes I am! And I¡¯m proud of it. You play RR as well? Do you want to be like me next time?¡± He asked. ¡°Yes I play! It¡¯s so much fun. But no why would I ever want to be like you.¡± She replied and all of us laughed while telling her she had undoubtedly made one of the best decisions and statements of her life. ¡°I do however like seeing your videos on TV sometimes. It¡¯s so refreshing to see that even retards can have a place in RR! Can I have your signature?¡± She asked while holding up a book and pen. All of us by this time had already tried to shut our ears because any more pain in the stomach would make all the beef come back out of our digestive systems. A 7 year old telling you that it¡¯s nice to see that even RR has a place for retards¡­ WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA Anthony however of course took no insult and graciously signed the book for her, captioning it off with ¡°I¡¯m glad to give little children excitement.¡± All of us laughed even louder because we were sure Anthony didn¡¯t even have a clue how much paedophilic innuendo was in that simple 7 word sentence. After that intense 1 minute 8 packs shortcut workout : Which is non-stop laughter (I assure you this is a real thing it hurts like hell), we split the bill and everyone got ready to go home. After one whole night of fun, we found out that Henry and Kenny were actually good friends and they got headhunted by Loki together. They were the same age as us and similarly, this was their holidays before high school officially starts. Jane was also our age but she went to an all girl¡¯s junior high. As such this was one of her few times hanging out with guys so she was not really sure about guys in general. We told her that she would have to learn slowly after getting into high school but just stay away from anyone who acts like Anthony. I suspected that Anthony was going to get ready to troll yet another girl into liking him. We all split our ways and went home. I was ecstatic about our group dynamics as even though we were slowly becoming bigger and bigger, it seemed like the fun doesn¡¯t split between the group but multiplies. Kenny was a funny guy in his own right with his jovial and happy go lucky attitude. Henry was a more serious dude which was quite a rare thing in this group but priceless when he could not differentiate when we were joking and when we were serious. Jane was serious eye candy but her looks does not speak of her personality at all. She was not concerned about her image at all she even ate 5 trays of beef and when she laughed she throws her head backwards to laugh like a maniac so it was a very refreshing personality despite her looks. I needed to send Suzy home first but because she lived rather near me it wasn¡¯t a problem. ¡°Jinx, do you think Anthony is going to hit on Jane?¡± She asked. ¡°I can bet my entire fortune on this answer. Yes.¡± I replied. ¡°What about you??¡± I looked at her. OH MY GOD. Her face was full of genuine concern and worry. I still remembered the day I first met her where she was haughty, rude, totally underestimating me and totally full of herself and now she was about as insecure as a thirteen year old having her first crush. ¡°HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!¡± I couldn¡¯t contain myself. ¡°HEY WHAT DOES THAT MEAN YOU JERK!¡± She said as she punched me repeatedly on my shoulder. ¡°Owowow okay stop you violent woman. I just remembered the time when I first met you. You¡¯ve changed a lot since then you know. But I bet you¡¯ll still come across as rude and haughty to other people for your first impression heh. However, I like the change. I¡¯m not the sort of person to go running after the prettiest things I see don¡¯t you know me enough by now? Even though I keep telling you Jane is pretty it¡¯s because I like to tell the truth. So also know that this is the truth when I say this, for some weird reason, I find you prettier than her so don¡¯t worry. Please continue being insecure though it¡¯s adorable!¡± And she turned her violence one notch higher but this time she was clearly in a better mood. I was in good spirits too. Everything seemed to be going on super well now and it was like nothing could possibly go wrong. -The next day- ¡°AND THIS IS THE FIRST TRIAL! A GENERAL KNOWLEDGE QUIZ!!!¡± Ash announced. Yup. Something could go wrong alright. Something very, very wrong. -30 minutes before this scene- I logged back in since it has been one full day since I died in RR and everyone could be seen logging in around the same time I did. We all went to meet up at the meeting room in the castle to begin our first ever full team meeting. The room was back to its normal grandeur with the hello kitty furniture all gone. It was a round table in the centre and 10 chairs surrounding it, with each and every one of our names engraved onto the backrests of every single chair. Mine was : JORMUNGUNDR at the top in block letters and in the centre, Jinx. Everyone had their god names on top and RR names in the centre and it just felt nice to look at. The moment Anthony came in he saw the chairs and he immediately rearranged the chairs such that Jane was seated beside him. My god he¡¯s really trying hard for this one isn¡¯t he? Soon, everyone arrived to the meeting and Loki was the last to enter the room. ¡°Ahhh my fellow Norse gods. How nice to see you again after that spectacular explosion in The Ascension.¡± Stolen novel; please report. All of us could be seen getting ready to throw some spells with serious firepower at Loki. ¡°Moving on from that topic.. I received word from the quest that every faction has already decided on their leader and the first event would happen the moment all the leaders came online. You can see the status of the leaders in the quest tab and you can see who they are, whether they are online or not.¡± We all opened our quest tabs.
Apocalypse Christianity : Jesus [Online] Islamic : Allah [Online] Buddhism : Buddha [Online] Hinduism : Krishna [Online] Greek : Zeus [Online] Egyptian : Osiris [Online] Norse : Breadtalk [Online] Satanic : Satan [Online]
¡°Wait Loki you said when everyone is online but everyone is online now so-¡° My sentence got caught halfway through as suddenly, a portal appeared in the side of the room. A white haired male, with short hair, dressed in a magnificent cloak of white and gold stepped out from the portal. He was wielding a staff which was tipped with an orb which exuded holy mana of magnificent purity. I could tell from my mana identification. ¡°Good Afternoon Norse gods. My name is Ash. I¡¯m the overseer of the Apocalypse quest and it is time for you to head to the first trial. Please proceed through this portal.¡± He said in a lofty voice. All of us looked at each other and got to our feet. Finally the time had come for the start of an all new adventure. One which was bound to be infinitely more challenging and epic than the previous. Everything was going well for us so I was brimming with confidence. We all stepped through the portal. We ended up in a huge gigantic room. The sort of room even I have never seen before. The room itself was pure white. There was nothing to even taint the purity of this room. Everything inside this room was white. The eight sections which were clearly allocated for us to sit in. The chairs in the sections. The names of our factions hanging high above the chairs. The tables located inside for our personal use. Everything but one thing was white. The enormous glowing sphere in the middle which exuded different colours every second. The sphere radiated power. That much was certain but it was unknown what it could do. We looked around. Several of the factions have already went to their assigned positions to get ready. If the layout of this room had to be described, it would fit this analogy the best. Imagine a pure white compass, with the eight different directions (N,S,E,W,NE,NW,SE,SW) as the sections for the factions and the glowing sphere right in the centre of it. Christianity was already seated neatly and their leader was unmistakable. Long, white gown with a red sash draped over his shoulder, a brown beard with long brown hair. It was exactly like Jesus normally depicted in bibles and churches nowadays. Buddhism was clearly present as well with all the followers adorning a common orange robe and bead necklaces. Buddha was also immediately noticeable as his bead necklace was the largest one and he radiated an aura even I could not sense what it was properly. It was not magical but also not an aura of fighting spirit or resolve. I just couldn¡¯t identify it. We went to our assigned places which was rather huge since we only had 10 main members and they allocated enough space to seat a hundred people. Faction after faction appeared through the glowing sphere and I realised that must¡¯ve where we came out from as well. After all the factions were present, Ash stood on a white podium located directly above the sphere and addressed all of us. ¡°Good Afternoon everyone. There is no need for many words I assume. Let me go through some ground rules before we start. This is the beginning of The Apocalypse, where one true god gets sovereignty of RR. The creators decided that this would help the game progress as a whole and this quest is extremely public. It is everywhere on the forums as well as the main website of RR. You can be sure that it will be followed closely by everyone on RR and this would be a good chance for you to boost your already huge number of followers.¡± He began. ¡°Basic rules of the Apocalypse: 1) This is a point based competition. The faction with the highest score at the end of the trials will win. 2) There will be no fixed number of trials. The only time we will tell you is when we reach the final trial. 3) Should the leader of the faction unable to continue at any point of time, a substitute leader will have to be put in place. This will be decided by voting amongst the other people in the faction. 4) No one is to hurt anyone from other factions in this room. 5) This room will be the place for every single trial. The glowing sphere in the middle is a dimensional object which will change to the venue we will be having the trial. This room is modified to expand and contract to accommodate the venue designated for the trial. 6) The seats will be filled by your main committee first. After the trial starts, if there is any leftover seats, any one of your followers will be able to find a portal in town to take them here and they will be able to sit amongst you in the faction they belong. This is for publicity.¡± So far everything is clear, simple and easy to understand. It¡¯s just the point allocation I¡¯m worried about. Will all trials hold the same number of points or will they be different. Will everyone be getting points all the time or is it possible none of the factions get any points at all should the trial be too hard?... ¡°Any questions?¡± Ash asked. I raised mine to his awareness. ¡°Excellent question. The number of points differ based on the trial. Before every trial starts I will brief the judging criteria and the points awarded per trial. Yes everyone can get many points or everyone may get zero.¡± Ash answered. I glanced around the room. Everyone seemed to be confident and the rules were easy to understand so everyone was already gearing up into battle mode. I too wanted to check out the level of prowess of each and every faction so I was raring up to go as well. I could feel high quality mana exude from many different individuals within the room. There was no doubt everyone here was here to win this. ¡°Alright since everyone has no further questions. LET US BEGIN THE FIRST EVER APOCALYPSE!¡± Ash announced. Suddenly, people begun streaming in behind us and we knew the portals were open. Our followers quickly rushed to grab front row seats and everyone was busy looking for the Norse god they liked the most. ¡°LOKIII!¡± Some fans screamed. Some of them cheered for me, some of them Loki, but it seems like every single time, the one who received the most cheers would be the one and only. ¡°BREADTALK BREADTALK BREADTALK BREADTALK!¡± The chant continued. Ahhh there¡¯s even a fan aspect to this competition. Well thought out indeed. We were pumped up. Pumped up indeed. Until¡­ ¡°AND THIS IS THE FIRST TRIAL! A GENERAL KNOWLEDGE QUIZ!!!¡± Ash announced. Yup. Something could go wrong alright. Something very, very wrong.
End of Chapter 4
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Chapter 5 : How Smart Are The Gods? ¡°Alright so I will explain the rules of this quiz. RR decided that the god should be well versed in the ways of the world in BOTH RR and in real life so all of you will be quizzed on both aspects. For this trial, only one person is needed to represent the faction and you will not have a choice in the matter. The one person has already been fixed. The representative of your faction.¡± Ash disclosed. All of us turned and looked at Breadtalk. He was still trying to comprehend the rules. Soup went over to one of the railings of the enclosure and started banging his head slowly but repeatedly on it. Beat took out his lute and played a tune commonly heard in funeral processions. Everyone begun to say their prayers to settle for last place and I was no different. WE FUCKEN LOSTTTTTTTTTTTT! Suddenly, the glowing sphere in the centre of the room started to warp and distort. After a few moments, it suddenly imploded and what took it¡¯s place were 8, pure white podiums each facing outwards towards each faction. ¡°With that, let us begin the trial! Will the 8 representatives of each faction come up to your respective podium in front of your section and we will begin the games shortly.¡± Ash announced. ¡°Well guys, let¡¯s see if we can do this. I have a good feeling about this.¡± Breadtalk chirped. All of us gaped in amazement. An idiot who had totally no idea he was an idiot. After spending 10 years of my life in the same classroom as him, I could safely say that this was not going to turn out well. All the representatives took to their podiums and it was actually quite a sight to behold. From my instincts, the faction with the highest chance to win this should be either Greek or Buddhism. Zeus has always been known to make cruel decisions and you need guts and faith in your own knowledge to do that. Buddha has always been all knowing and all encompassing. Oh well let¡¯s have a look then. I was pretty sure we would come in dead last. ¡°Alright before we begin this is the rules specific for this trial. Please take note everyone. 1) Once the question has been given, you have a buzzer at your table. Please ring it asap and the first one to do so will be given the chance to answer it. 2) Each question has a maximum of five chances to be answered as if too many chances are given, the possibilities become too narrow and it is too advantageous for those who haven¡¯t answered. 3) You may only answer each question once. If you answer incorrectly, you may not answer again for that question. 4) For this trial, every correct answer is worth one point and every incorrect answer is worth zero. 5) Once the question has been correctly answered, we will move on to the next question.¡± Ash finished. Everyone understood the rules and sure enough, here comes the horror we were all unprepared for. ¡°LET¡¯S BEGIN!¡± Ash roared as the entire room roared along with them as followers of every faction were excited to be part of the opening event of one of the most epic quests in RR history. ¡°Question 1 : We have a list of 5 most famous things you can find in Venice. Just name one of them.¡± Ash started. A buzzer immediately sounded. One of the podiums lighted up with flashing red and gold lights around the perimeter of it. The worst part was it was the podium directly in front of me. ¡°Breadtalk!¡± ¡°CHICKEN WINGS!¡± He shouted. A moment of silence could officially be heard since I entered this room and it lasted for a split second. Nothing could be heard except the sound of Soup still banging his head on the enclosure. Then, it came. ¡°AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! CHICKEN WING! HE SAID CHICKEN WING WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!¡± Every faction was clearly enjoying the prowess of our representative and since it was so like Breadtalk, even our followers were having a good time watching this. They didn¡¯t seem to think winning was important. They just wanted to see more of this shit. Couldn¡¯t blame them though. Even though I was expecting a bad answer chicken wing was just too funny. ¡°Wrong!¡± Another buzzer sounded. ¡°The Eiffel Tower!¡± Zeus said. I gaped in astonishment. The Eiffel fucking tower? In Venice? ¡°HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!¡± Everyone just couldn¡¯t believe their ears. ¡°Wrong!¡± Jesus pressed his. ¡°People!¡± WTF SORT OF ANSWER IS PEOPLE?! At this stage, the whole hall was getting out of control. Everyone was trying their best to hold in their laughter when it came to their own faction but when it was another, there was just no holding back the laughter at the sheer stupidity of those answers. ¡°Wrong..¡± Buddha pressed his. I was sure he would get it correct. ¡°Lotus flowers.¡± I died. ¡°Wrong¡­.¡± There are Gondolas, the iconic houses alongside the river, one might even call the Venetian Republic itself one of the 5 most famous things about Venice but those answers¡­. The final chance was answered by Osiris. ¡°Pyramids.¡± I couldn¡¯t take it anymore. This was killing me. We had, chicken wings, Eiffel tower, people, lotus flower and pyramids. Pyra fucking mids. It seemed like not all hope was lost. All gods are idiots! ¡°5 chances are used up. The correct answers were : Gondola, Doge Palace, St Mark¡¯s Basilica, St Mark¡¯s Square and the Grand Canal.¡± Ash revealed. Ohhh I was right about the Gondola and sort of for the grand canal. But still those level of answers.. What would be next?! ¡°Alright next question! What is a five letter word commonly known on the internet as someone who likes to manipulate another person into a state of their preference?¡± Ash asked. [Correct Answer : Troll] ¡°Breadtalk should know this he is the master of this art. It¡¯s undoubtedly : Troll.¡± I muttered to the rest of our faction. Everyone nodded and it was no surprise. Most of them would know the answer as well. Again Breadtalk went first. But this time I was confident that even he would be able to give this answer. ¡°Rapist!¡± He shouted. ¡°Wrong!¡± ¡°MY GOD HOW DID HE EVEN GET THAT WORD? MANIPULATE INTO PREFERENCE = RAPE?!¡± I shouted. ¡°WHAT THE FUCK MAN WHY DO YOU NOT EVEN KNOW THE ONE THING YOU ARE ACTUALLY BEST AT?!¡± Beat hollered beside me. ¡°HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN SPELL RAPIST? RAPIS?!?!?!?! IT HAS 6 NOT FUCKING FIVE LETTERS BRO!¡± Soup finally exploded as he stopped banging his head on the enclosure. Everyone else were just too busy on the floor, rolling around, clutching their stomachs. Breadtalk literally just K.O.ed half of the entire audience. I bet if this was shown all over RR everyone would be dying too. Jesus quickly buzzed in his own answer. ¡°Satan!¡± ¡°HEY NOT COOL MAN.¡± The real Satan quickly said. That answer was so apt and hilarious though that I immediately forgot Breadtalk¡¯s answer and joined the maniacal laughing crowd. ¡°Wrong!¡± ¡°Jesus!¡± Satan shouted. ¡°Wrong!¡± By now I was squirming so hard that my laughter couldn¡¯t even be heard. It was laughing so hard that you couldn¡¯t even make a single sound you know that feeling? It¡¯s the best sort of laughter. ¡°Douche!¡± Vishna tried. HOW MANY FUCKING GODS FAILED THEIR SPELLING TESTS?! ¡°Wrong!!¡± Ash announced, clearly exasperated by the level of answers. I was amazed though at his ability to keep a straight face. Every single answer so far could have drawn laughter from even the most demanding crowds but he was just.. Doing his job well I guess. If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°Pork!¡± Allah declared. ¡°WRONG!¡± Ash shouted. It was official.. Every god had tried once. It proved one, clear thing. ALL the representatives were idiots. Regardless of whichever faction wins, the god would undoubtedly be a total idiot. Ash just moved on to the next question quickly. ¡°In the Geography of both the Earth and RR, Certain things move under the earth such that when they collide into each other, earthquakes happen. What are these things called?¡± Ash said. [Correct Answer : Plates] JESUS CHRIST WE JUST LEARNT THIS IN CLASS 5 MONTHS BEFORE WE GRADUATED. PLEASE DON¡¯T GIVE THE ANSWER YOU GAVE IN CLASS PLEASE DON¡¯T GIVE THE ANSWER YOU GAVE IN CLASS PLEASE DON¡¯T GIVE THE ANSWER YOU GAVE IN CLASS. Breadtalk was either fast as hell on the buzzer or the other gods just weren¡¯t even trying. ¡°EARTHWORMS!¡± He shouted full of confidence. ¡°And he just had to give that answer which caused our teacher to give up trying to teach us plate tectonics¡­¡± Beat muttered beside me. Well, to give him credit, earthworms did indeed exist and move under the earth. BUT WHEN THEY COLLIDE THEY DON¡¯T FUCKING CAUSE EARTHQUAKES HOLY SHITTTTTTTT. The worst part was that the other gods which seemingly had no clue up till now thought Breadtalk¡¯s answer was genius and it gave them ideas of their own. The resulting answers given would be as follows : Armadillo, Anteater, Millipede and Earth Dragon. Earth dragon. In RR maybe but you find one in real life and I would give you my balls. Everyone in the room was basically so tired they couldn¡¯t even laugh properly and I guess by now everyone here would have a 6 packs after laughing continuously for 10 minutes. Laughing continuously for 1 minute can already cause pain so you multiply that by ten and you get a hell of a work out. I expected many things when this quest was first given. Would we be doing sports? A battle royale? A competition to finish a quest? I definitely did not expect a quiz. And the best part was EVERY single faction having an idiot for a representative. ¡°Let¡¯s try two more questions. If no one still scores ANY points at all for these two questions I don¡¯t see the point of dragging this any longer.¡± Ash said. ¡°Fourth question! Name one religion which is not involved in this quest.¡± [Correct answers : Catholics, Babism, Taoism, Judaism etc.] For once, Breadtalk wasn¡¯t the first one to answer. Jesus took it first. Oh my god Christians and Catholics are very close. I¡¯m sure he would know the answer.. ¡°Cats!¡± He shouted, full of certainty. ¡°Cats?.. Do you wanna expand on that?¡± Ash prompted him, urging for any possibility of a right answer. ¡°Huh? No? I know the answer is cats!¡± he insisted. ¡°Wrong..¡± Ash sighed. The Catholics must have asked him to call them Cats as a short form to make it easier for them.. Breadtalk buzzed in next. Oh no what now.. ¡°Dogs!¡± Everyone in our faction did a facepalm at the same time! Surprisingly Ash joined us. It was quite a sight to behold and we definitely were prepared to get zero points from this trial. ¡°Wrong!¡± ¡°Turban!¡± Satan shouted. ¡°TURBAN IS NOT A RELIGION!¡± Ash finally roared. At this point in time however all of us laughed our asses off because we could tell how long Ash was trying to hold it in. ¡°Hercules!¡± Zeus tried. ¡°DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF RELIGION?!¡± Ash threw his question sheet down onto the floor in his fury and Zeus quickly looked down sheepishly. I know it just seems mean but when someone is genuinely angry at the stupidest of reasons it was so, SO fun to see them rage. ¡°Indians.¡± Osiris calmly answered. ¡°INDIANS ARE A RACE! FURTHERMORE THE RELIGION MOST OF THEM ARE FROM ARE ALREADY HERE LOOK AT KRISHNA LOOOOOOOOK!¡± Ash grabbed Osiris¡¯ head and turned him to face Krishna. I totally lost it by then and just prayed that Ash would be so frustrated he would leave it as it is and moved on to the next trial. However, it seemed like he was a man of his word. ¡°LAST QUESTION! IF ALL YOU PRICKS STILL GET THIS WRONG ALL OF YOU WILL FACE HELL FOR THE LATER TRIALS! LISTEN CAREFULLY! What is my name?¡± [Correct answer : Ash] Breadtalk buzzed the buzzer. Please get this right please get this right it¡¯s impossible to get this one wrong please please please ¡°Brock!¡± ¡°BROCK YOUR ASS! HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THAT NAME?!¡± He shouted, spraying saliva into Breadtalk¡¯s face. ¡°I remember your name was something along the lines of a pokemon trainer or something. Sorry I¡¯m bad at names so I just labelled you as pokemon trainer. So I had to guess a random pokemon trainer¡¯s name!¡± Breadtalk explained. I can¡¯t even begin to comprehend that train of thought by which Breadtalk functioned but at least he was not entirely wrong. Ash seemed to calm down abit since he saw the weird twisted form of logic in that as well. ¡°Alright you¡¯re partially correct but there will still be no points.¡± Someone is bound to remember his nam- ¡°JAMES!¡± Buddha cried out. ¡°I AM NOT FROM TEAM ROCKET! WRONG!¡± Ash shouted. ¡°Jessie!¡± Osiris tried. ¡°DIDN¡¯T YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID YOU IMBECILE??! I AM ALSO NOT A GIRL!¡± ¡°Misty!¡± Zeus tried to redeem himself. ¡°OPEN YOUR EARS ALL OF YOU MORONS. I AM NOT FROM TEAM ROCKET. I AM ALSO NOT A WOMAN! LAST CHANCE WHO WANTS TO GRAB IT?¡± ¡°Pikachu!¡± Krishna finally said. ¡°DO I LOOK LIKE A YELLOW FUCKING MOUSE TO YOU?!¡± Ash gave up. It looks like gods have so many things more important to do than remembering the emcee¡¯s name. Well credit to Krishna, his answer did fit the two categories Ash said he wasn¡¯t in. ¡°My name. Is Ash. The fucking main trainer from pokemon. Please try to remember that. It is official. After the first trial, the total score for all the religions are : ZERO.¡± He announced. Everyone around us cheered and I don¡¯t even know why they were cheering now but this was just ridiculous from start to finish. If Ash was the one planning the trials I was sure he would make the next trial extremely hard and have nothing to do with wits or brains or anything that needed thinking. ¡°The next trial will start tomorrow at 12 noon. Portals will appear wherever you are at that point in time. If you are not online, we will just start the trial without you. Please get ready for hell tomorrow.¡± Ash said before he vanished into thin air as the podiums transformed into the glowing sphere again. The factions began to took their leave by walking into the glowing sphere. Sure enough, we found ourselves back at our location. The meeting room. ¡°So. How did I do guys?¡± Asked Breadtalk with a huge grin on his face.
End of Chapter 5
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Hiatus! Hello everyone! I''m back for about a period of 3 months (at least)! I hope all of you are still reading good fan fictions on RR. I would just like to apologise for being inactive for so long. However, college is a beast that does not allow me much freedom or time to continue writing my fictions. Also, things have become a bit more serious so I plan on giving Apocalypse a continued hiatus for now. After that insane chapter which I laughed like crazy myself while writing, I realised that my jokes are not as retarded anymore. I will need to hang out with my bunch of tards to get my sense of humour back. In the meantime, I thought of a cool new world and plot which I am now currently putting into writing. It is a fiction a lot more concentrated on a well-developed, interesting plot with also a bunch of interesting characters but more in depth. It also has some aspects of comedy inside it but it''s major selling point will be the plot and storyline and action scenes. Not so much the level of retardedness. If any of you are keen, you all can take a look by clicking here! I''ll be updating this with one chapter (~3000 words) every 1-2 days! The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. http://royalroadl.com/fiction/6622 It''s good to be back guys!