《Noodle Knight》 Chapter 1 - Noodle Knight Bob Ninety-five years ago, the Great Prophet of Oodlesnoff foretold the coming of great calamity in audience before the royal family. I quote ¡°A calamity of calamitous proportions shall befall the Kingdom of Noodles in one hundred years. Great evil will rise up from the dark west and ravage the lands before it. Heed this warning and take this time now to prepare!¡± Pausing for dramatic effect, the Great Prophet of Oodlesnoff slurps some noodles from the bowl before him and continues speaking as he chews. ¡°The great evil that will rise up shall be known as-¡± At this point, the evil¡¯s name has unfortunately been lost to time for the GPoO choked to death on the very noodles by which this proud kingdom attained its name. I guess his mother never taught him not to chew and talk. It¡¯s an even greater shame that he didn¡¯t get to finish his meal. Anyways, in preparation for this great calamity, Queen Annabeth began a period known as ¡°The Great Preparation¡±. During this time, the smithies smithed, knights knighted, armies recruited, magicers developed their magic, and most importantly, the noodlers noodled, for what would one do without noodles? Now, ninety-five years later, here I am. 25 years old and son of a farmer, I have worked my way up from the rank of Limp Noodle as a foot soldier to Al Dente as one of the royal family¡¯s guards. Today marks ¡°The Day of Cooking¡±. As of this moment, the great sauceror, magical mage of magical sauces and all things magic, is preparing the summoning ritual which had been simmering over the decades so that it might bring about the perfect entree, I mean hero. ¡°Tomatoes, arugula, mushrooms and pan. We take up spoon in hand. Stir and simmer, mix it with spice. Let it be served, the dishes not bland.¡± Bam! And a flash of light pours forth from the summoning circle. As those in attendance recover their sight, claims of exclamation can be hear all around. ¡°Great mother of macaroni.¡± ¡°Holy marinara!¡± ¡°Godly gouda.¡± Once the smoke cleared, three teenagers could be seen looking around in a daze. The first to recover is a boy, physically fit and ever flowing hair, he is the epitome of prettyboys everywhere. His two companions both seem to be girls and cling to the boy¡¯s arms for support. I say ¡°seem to be girls¡± because one of them is extremely ambiguous and the neutral attire doesn¡¯t help in gender confirmation at all. It doesn¡¯t seem like anything important is happening soon so I just zone out the whole ¡°Welcome, heroes¡± spiel and decide to look for some noodles. The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. Ooh, is that ramen I see? NomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNom ¡°Ahem, Bob.¡± Did I hear someone calling me? Nah, let¡¯s just go back to eating. NomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNomNom ¡°Noodle knight Bob.¡± ...NomNomNom¡­ I look up to find the entire court staring directly at me. ¡°Huh? What? Sorry, I was busy enjoying these wonderful noodles over here. Would you like a bowl? No, sorry. What were you saying?¡± ¡°As I was saying, the heroes here shall be under your care so that they may get accustomed to our world and combat in preparation for The Great Serving time.¡± Still distracted by my noodles, I reply idly. ¡°Yes your majesty¡­¡± Wait, did I just agree to babysit these guys?
A/N: Okay, I originally wasn¡¯t planning on posting anything new to RRL for quite a while, but seeing as I¡¯m likely to come back to this on and off, I might as well share it. This is supposed to be humorous and light so tell me if anything is getting serious. I am aiming to keep it completely not serious. Here¡¯s the original doc in my google drive. There¡¯s another update so just follow the link. It¡¯ll be posted within a day or so. Anyways, it started off as a little random idea with what is essentially a side character as the MC taking care of the summoned heroes in a more traditional fantasy setting and a bit more serious¡­ Don¡¯t ask how it came to noodles and this because I couldn¡¯t answer that properly even if I tried. Along with Noodle Knight, I¡¯m doing some stuff in my Terrible Topic Corner from time to time and the entries continue to slowly grow. I write dumb shorts by request so check it out if you want anything in particular. Chapter 2 - Noodles! ¡°Yes your majesty¡­¡± Wait, did I just agree to babysit these guys? Me? Babysit some teenagers who would surely distract from my time for noodles? No! Say it ain¡¯t so! This blows my entire schedule completely out of the alfredo! Tomorrow was supposed to be ravioli day and the day after that was- ¡°Here-ye! Here-ye! The honorable Noodle Knight Bob has accepted the task of preparing the Entrees, I mean heroes, to ready them for the Great Serving Time Calamity.¡± -lasagna and my experimental alfredo-marinara fusion! How am I supposed to fit all this around training these kids in the art of Noodling? ¡°Let¡¯s have a round of applause for Noodle Knight Bob!¡± What? Huh? Why are they all looking at me again? Now they¡¯re clapping? Maybe I should just play along for now and smile and clap along with them¡­ Thankfully this awkward clapping didn¡¯t continue on past a couple minutes as Queen Annabeth made an announcement. ¡°I would like to give thanks where it is due. Thank you, sauceror and assistants, for all your hard work. If it weren¡¯t for you, I am certain that our Kingdom of Noodles would surely befall to the Great Calamity. I am sure that it has been a long day for our summoned heroes so we shall begin their training tomorrow. As they retire to their quarters for the night, you may relax and enjoy some refreshments for the remainder of the night. For myself, I bid you farewell.¡± Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon. To the left, I notice the trio of heroes being escorted out through a side door to the guest chambers. Well, it seems that I¡¯m not needed here, might as well turn in myself¡­ but not before grabbing some of that delicious shrimp scampi, and that rigatoni casserole, and some of this delectable macaroni, and a bowl of those¡­.
Original google doc. #potato_was_there And that''s it for the written stuff. More to come eventually. It may be soon, it may take a while. Either way, my next semester of college is starting soon so any updates will likely continue to be short. Chapter 3 - Hotdog Is it true? Could it be? I¡¯ve been transported into a food mecca! There¡¯s waterfalls of spaghetti, clouds of alfredo, and even meatball trees! I could stay here forever and never run out of food! I have no idea how I got here! But it¡¯s time to dig in! ¡°GERONIMO!¡± Taking a running jump, I aim to dive head first into that delicious food. *Knock-knock* ...time just stopped. Nothing¡¯s moving... More importantly, I¡¯m not getting any closer to the river of linguini! No! It¡¯s so close! Just one bite! Please! Just one mouthful! It¡¯s just out of reach of my tongue too! I can almost taste it! *Knock-knock* ¡°Excuse me, Sir Bob? May I come in?¡± Argh! It¡¯s all fading away now! Meatballs and marinara, I knew it was too good to be true. Haaa~ maybe I¡¯ll just lay here for the rest of the day¡­ I feel as if I¡¯m forgetting something important though. ¡°Sir Bob, I¡¯m coming in.¡± My door opens and who I presume to be a maid walks in, a tray full of what smells to be food clinking with its silver cutlery in hand. A moment later, I hear a gasp and the crash of cutlery as she drops the tray. Hmm, what could be wrong now? Sitting up and rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I finally open them to see the maid, Mary, red-faced and covering her face with her hands. Though, if she were trying to cover her eyes, she¡¯s doing a terrible job of it. Oh well, no use worrying about it. Time to get properly dressed. As I whip off the covers, Mary suddenly swoons and collapses in a heap upon the floor! Now I wonder how that happened. Looking down at my lap, I find my little weiner dog sitting there. ¡°Oh Hotdog. Did you crawl under my covers again?¡± Just looking at her yawning face revitalizes me in the morning. ¡°Come on girl, it¡¯s time to wake up. I¡¯ll take you on a walk as soon as I wash up and put on my armor.¡± Five minutes later, I¡¯m getting ready to go out the door with Hotdog in hand when I remember Mary lying on the floor. It can¡¯t have been comfortable down there so I lay her in my bed to rest. I wonder what could possibly make her so tired! I hope the poor woman isn¡¯t overworking herself. One maid bedded and a particularly wet mess now cleaned up, I¡¯m ready once more. ¡°Come on Hotdog, let¡¯s take you on your walk now.¡± ¡°Yip-yip!¡± I¡¯m hungry so I decide that our walk shall just so happen to go through the dining hall first. Hopefully there will be some delicious leftovers making a reappearance. Along the way, I spot Mary¡¯s younger sister, the first princess¡¯ handmaid, Martha. ¡°Good morning, Martha.¡± ¡°Good morning Sir Bob and good morning Hotdog. Taking your morning stroll?¡± ¡°Indeed. I was about to get some food too. Care to join us?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry Sir Bob, but I¡¯m a little preoccupied right now. Maybe you could help me.¡± ¡°Sure thing! What can I do for you?¡± I reply with a smile. It¡¯s a funny thing though, almost every girl that I smile at blushes at the drop of a hat. ¡°I¡¯m looking for my sister, Mary. She was sent to wake you up half an hour ago. Have you seen her?¡± ¡°Yes actually. She¡¯s resting in my chambers right now. Maybe you should let her have the rest of the day off. She seemed incredibly tired.¡± For some reason, Martha has this odd look of what appears to be shock and a flushed face. ¡°Tha-thank y-you for the h-help! I best get going now,¡± she blurts hurriedly, and with that, she dashes off and disappears around a corner. Is she getting sick? I sincerely hope not. ¡°Yip-yip!¡± At my feet, Hotdog is looking at me expectantly. I guess it¡¯s time to get back to our little walk. ¡­ Bread in hand and Hotdog at my heels, I make my way towards the gardens to enjoy my spoils. The only thing I dislike about the gardens is the fact that one has to cross the training grounds. All that shouting and clanging really puts me off of my mood. Oh well, there¡¯s nothing I can do about it. I might as well stop thinking about it and just enjoy my walk with Hotdog instead. Interrupting me from my thoughts, a voice shouts out from behind me before I managed to properly enter the gardens. ¡°Noodle Knight Bob! Noodle Knight Bob!¡± The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement. Now who could this be? Oh¡­ ¡°Hello Soggy Bill. Would you like some bread?¡± ¡°Never mind the food Sir Bob. I¡¯ve been looking all over for you! Did you forget what was planned for today?¡± This Bill, he¡¯s a newer recruit and all holding the rank of Limp Noodle, but surely he can figure out priorities, right? Food is life and life is for food! More so when the food is good. ¡°Actually, yes. There was something planned for today?¡± ¡°Yeah, yesterday, remember?¡± ...Great, now he¡¯s giving me this look. I only give him my blank, confused look in return. Clearly, nobody else could possibly get what he means from that alone. ¡°There are three of them? Young and stupid to boot?¡± ¡­ he¡¯s still giving me that look. Wait a second¡­ Yesterday, I remember a lot of good food. That doesn¡¯t happen too often and may explain my food coma dream earlier. If there was a bunch of good food, then there had to have been a celebration of some kind or something really big and important. Think Bob, think. ¡°Yeah, I got nothin¡¯. Could you just tell me please?¡± Hotdog yips in agreement with me. ¡°Ugh, seriously Bob? You¡¯re a senior knight with the rank of Al Dente and one of several tasked with guarding the royal family. I¡¯d expect you to do better than this. You really don¡¯t remember?¡± ¡°Not at all.¡± What does he expect of me? I can¡¯t tell what I don¡¯t know? ¡°The Great Serving Time?¡± Nope, nothing. ¡°The Great Prophet of Oodleshoff and his prophecy?¡± I think there¡¯s something. ¡°Three heroes? Ring any bells?¡± Ah, and there it is. It¡¯s all clicking now. ¡°I¡¯ve got it! The three heroes foretold in the GPoO¡¯s prophecy were summoned yesterday along with a feast of delicious food in order to defeat some Great Calamity said to occur during the Great Serving time and I am here to¡­ show them the wonders of the Kingdom of Noodles!¡± ¡°NOOO!!! You¡¯re supposed to train them! TRAIN THEM. And that¡¯s not even a part of what the GPoO said!¡± ¡°Really? I could have sworn that they were supposed come here to sample all the great food that our chefs make. That way they can be better inspired to save our kingdom, for the food.¡± This is a much better answer than training them, right? ¡°*sigh* I honestly wonder how you got the rank of Al Dente with your personality and disposition. Whatever, come on. Let¡¯s get you to them so that you can get them trained in time for the Great Serving Time.¡± ¡°Fine, lead the way Bill.¡± Ugh, I am conflicted here. He¡¯s going to the central training grounds while my goal is the gardens. Should I just ditch him while his back is turned? ¡°Hey, Hotdog. What do you think I should do?¡± ¡°Yip-yip.¡± ¡°Fine, I¡¯ll go through with this training thing. You¡¯ve never steered me wrong before.¡± I toss some bread for her before turning to follow Bill, already a moderately small figure in the distance. ¡°Come on Hotdog, let¡¯s go.¡±
A/N - It¡¯s actually kinda difficult keeping Bob¡¯s character consistent with set defining characteristics when it was originally a joke and he has no set defining characteristics other than stupidity. If you have any concerns or questions, feel free to post them. If you spot any holes, by all means, point them out! I¡¯d like to keep things consistent. Original google doc P.s. Any ideas may be incorporated into the story. You¡¯ve noticed my simple naming scheme, right? Well, that¡¯ll likely remain that way unless some things change, namely readers providing whatever they¡¯d like to be included. P.p.s. I reserve the right to take any provided idea and make it super ridiculous. P.p.p.s. Train Summoning may come sooner than expected¡­ if you know what I¡¯m talking about.
Oh, and if you voted yes on the poll, you have a dirty, dirty mind. =3 Info & Reference Doc (Not dead, just slow) Hey readers. Sorry it''s not a chapter, but chapter 4 is in the works in my TTC if you want to read what may/may not become the chapter. (sometimes things get scrapped in favor of different stuff) Back to the topic at hand, I''ve started up an info doc HERE for myself and any curious reader to look at. It contains profiles for characters, world events, world mechanics, and possible story ideas in the future. It may not be much right now, or very organized, but I update it whenever I''m writing the chapters and building upon the world in order to not lose the information. If you''ve got any suggestions or ideas, feel free to leave a comment for me on the doc. Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.Also, those last few rapid releases won''t be happening again any time soon... unless I happen to find a load of dead time and/or be stupid and procrastinate my other stuff. I''ve got a new semester of college on my plate along with real life to deal with. I don''t want to drop Noodle Knight though so I''ll force myself to write at least one chapter a week, probably on the weekends due to time constraints, in order to keep momentum at a moderate pace. Thanks for reading so far and don''t forget, comments help motivate flaky authors like me and keep us writing longer. :)
P.s. I''m still taking requests for (really) short story ideas in my TTC, but it''ll take a while to get to them. P.p.s. Somebody just gave me a 5 star rating earlier. Thanks and you rock whoever you are! :D Chapter 4 - The Heroes *Humming* ¡°Sir Bob, meet the heroes....¡± *Humming continues* ¡°Not again. Noodle Knight Bob¡­ Bob!¡± ¡­ ¡°BOB!¡± ¡°Huh! What? Oh, hello, Bill. Who are these three?¡± It seems that while I was busy humming, we¡¯d already reached the central training grounds. Tee-hee. On the left is a pretty¡­ something. Actually, I¡¯m not sure whether or not that¡¯s a very pretty boy or a very boyish girl. I¡¯ll just call it a girl until further notice. She is wearing tan slacks, a simple blue t-shirt, and has her brown hair in a ponytail. Moving on, a confident looking girl stands on the right in a simple white one-piece dress with her black hair done up in pigtails¡­ which look disturbingly like gigantic curly pig''s tails. Sandwiched between the two is a pretty boy, but he looks a little young and thin for me to call him a hero. In all honesty, he looks like a kid barely eligible for knight school. ¡°Seriously Bob? We just talked about this not even five minutes ago. I give up. Let¡¯s just get this over with. Heroes, Bob. Bob, heroes. And Bob, remember to train them. My job here is done. I¡¯m out.¡± As Bill leaves us, an awkward silence develops between us¡­ Quick Bob! Do something! What? I dunno? Who are these people? I dunno? Wait, hold that thought. ¡°So, uh, hi. My name is Bob. What are your names?¡± Good job Bob. This will work great. The confident girl decides to speak first. ¡°My name is Serina, this is Riley, and this guy between us is Nathan.¡± She ruffles his hair and he pouts in response. It¡¯s actually kinda cute¡­ I wish I had a little brother like that. Then we could do everything together as brothers. We could eat together, I could train him in the art of swordplay, have adventures together, and even sleep together under the stars. ...Stop that, Bob! Focus on what¡¯s going on now, fantasize about your nonexistent little brother later. ¡°Umm, I guess I¡¯ll be your mentor for the next five years or at least until the Great Calamity reveals itself. What would you like to know?¡± ¡°Excuse me? I was wondering why we were summoned and what we¡¯re supposed to accomplish. We¡¯re just high school students and I¡¯m not sure how we¡¯d fit into this world,¡± the little guy asks. He¡¯s quite perceptive, contrary to his adorable visage. ¡°Hmm¡­ would you like the long version or brief version?¡± ¡°Brief version please,¡± they cry in unision. Their synchronization is amazing. Maybe this will help later. Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. ¡°Okay, so ninety-five years ago, this guy called the Great Prophet of Oodlesnoff comes around and gathers the entire court to give a prophecy. Said prophecy mentions some Great Calamity to come in one hundred years, or five year from now. Well, he kinda-sorta choked on some noodles and died while telling it so we don¡¯t know what this Great Calamity is exactly. Then comes the next 95 years we call the Great Preparation started by Queen Annabeth the first. You met Queen Annabeth the third yesterday if I¡¯m not mistaken. Anyway, the Great Preparation built up a lot of things such as the Noodle Knights army, magic, and other stuff. Somewhere along the way, our head sauceror made some sort of summoning spell, thus allowing for the heroes, you, to be summoned and here you are, speaking with me.¡± ¡°And that¡¯s it?¡± ¡°Yep, simple as that.¡± ¡°But, what if we can¡¯t fight whatever this Great Calamity is? Can we still go home?¡± Huh, good question. I never thought about that. I guess none of the saucerors did either. ¡°Hmm, maybe you¡¯ll go back when the Great Calamity is over?¡± The three slump in defeat upon hearing my words. Aw, come on. I can¡¯t go depressing the heroes on the first day of meeting them. ¡°Come on, cheer up. I¡¯m sure we can think of something in the meantime. And if none of that works out, you could always live the rest of your lives together here. Think of it like being a family living in one house and everything.¡± The two girls seem to perk up at that and hug their companion tightly. ¡°In the mean time, let¡¯s get you trained and prepared for whatever the Great Calamity may turn out to be.¡± ¡°Sounds like a plan. So, what are we doing first?¡±
A/N - I was planning on continuing this chapter... but seeing as how my brain kinda derped, it may just be edited in the future to accommodate the next couple chapters. Sorry about that but I just wanted to get this out there and outta the way so that I might progress with the story. That or scrap this one later and replace it with something more fitting to Bob¡¯s previous demeanor. It didn¡¯t really feel Bob-like enough to me. Anyways, readers should check out this thing. I¡¯m just trying to get some more exposure out there for you all. If you like reading something, drop us authors a word or two. Or even if you don¡¯t like it, say why and maybe we can fix things. We, as authors, appreciate it either way. Thanks for reading. Chapter 5 - Food is Magic Notes: Might be a bit info-dumpy on the magic bits but I tried to keep it simple. I apologize. There were also a total of three music links in the last chapter but one got taken down¡­ I can¡¯t remember what it was so if anybody remembers, please tell me. Also, sorry for lack of consistency in tone or writing style, but it just comes and goes as it please. Don¡¯t lynch me for it. Here¡¯s the chapter and enjoy. (Leave a comment if you read. It¡¯s not like I read them or anything... baka.)
¡°Sounds like a plan. So, what are we doing first?¡± ¡°Hmm...¡± That¡¯s a good question. They¡¯re the heroes and were summoned yesterday. Think about what you talked with Bill earlier, Bob. There was something about training, preparing, and food. Ah-hah! I¡¯ve got it. ¡°Okay, question: Did you eat breakfast yet?¡± ¡°Not yet,¡± all three of them cry in sync again. Man, I wish I could be that in sync with somebody else. If I were, then we could cook twice as much delicious food in the same amount of time. Since they haven¡¯t eaten yet, I have an excuse to eat a second breakfast, too! Yay! ¡°In that case, let¡¯s go raid the kitchens!¡± ¡°For toast!¡± ¡°For scrambled eggs!¡± ¡°For fruit!¡± ¡°Yip-yip!¡± I feel a bit left out¡­ ¡°For Noodles!¡± ¡­ Unfortunately, all the cooks and food was cleaned up by the time we got to the kitchens. It¡¯s only mid-morning and breakfast is already out of the way. I guess that just goes to show the efficiency of the castle staff. ¡°It seems that all the cooks are gone until lunch so I¡¯ll make you some food instead. Just wait a bit longer okay?¡± Disappointed, Nathan, Serina, and Riley nod in affirmation. Guess it¡¯s time to get cooking! Looking around the pantry, I wonder what I should make. Last time I got somebody to try my new dish, they cried. Thinking that it was bad, I tried to throw it away but he tackled me to the ground and stuffed it in his face and even proclaimed it was the most delicious dish in the entire kingdom with tears in his eyes¡­ He didn¡¯t have to do that to protect my feelings. If it was bad, I could have just made something else. Oh, looks like I grabbed a couple pots, dried spagetthi, tomatoes, some cheese, a cut of beef, and an assortment of spices and vegetables. It¡¯s nice how my body knows exactly what to do when I¡¯m thinking. Looks like it¡¯ll be pasta for breakfast. After setting the pasta to boil, sauce to simmer, and cubed beef to sear, I have a chance to look at my audience waiting expectantly for their food. They must be bored with waiting. I think that Riley is even having a staring contest with Hotdog. Time to be productive as I cook! ¡°So, you three, what do you wish to do?¡± ¡°With what?¡± Nathan asks while the other two perk up in attention. ¡°With training of course. I know I may not look or be the most suitable person for the job, but I¡¯m still a Noodle Knight tasked with training you and I take that seriously¡­ or as seriously as I can with such delicious food in front of me.¡± Actually, I¡¯m just hoping that I can pawn them off onto one of the other guys so that I can go back to enjoying my food with Hotdog. ¡°Well, if we need to be prepared to fight with some Great Calamity in the future, power would be necessary, of course. So I guess we¡¯ll need to learn how to fight with weapons, learn magic if possible, and learn how to fight if we want to survive. Could you explain each magic and fighting to us, please?¡± Ahh, surprising me with his insightfulness despite his cute face yet again. I wish he were my little brother again. He¡¯s so cute I could just hug him! ...Ahem. ¡°These are just the main points, but should be good enough until you meet the castle instructors. Magic is powered by something called mana, which is equivalent to your life force. In order to use magic, you have to take individual components and join them together like making food. Magic is simply imposing your will upon mana to achieve a result.¡± Draining the pasta, I put it into the saucepan to finish cooking. Riley interjects, ¡°But if controlling mana with your will was so easy, why haven¡¯t we seen very many people using it?¡± This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. ¡°Mana is like these noodles. They¡¯re the basis for the dish, I mean spell, but the sauce is what makes it a dish. If the sauce is not done right, the food tastes bad just like how bad spells often fail. Taking into account outside factors, one has to work with outside factors to achieve harmony.¡± The cubed beef now done, I toss them into the pan with the noodles and sauce, mixing them together. ¡°When mana, intent, and existing factors are taken into account and properly executed, you have magic.¡± The food should be done now so I divide it between four plates and a small bowl. One for each of us and the bowl for Hotdog. ¡°Ahh, here. Breakfast is served. Now let¡¯s dig in!¡± Oh how I¡¯ve longed for you, food. I can hardly hold myself back any more. My fork an inch away from my mouth though, Serina interrupts me. ¡°Wait! You never mentioned fighting!¡± Can¡¯t a guy just enjoy his food? ¡°Fighting is fighting? I see no point in going further than that. In a fight, you just bop the other guy on the noggin¡¯ until you win.¡± Now she¡¯s giving me one of Bill¡¯s signature stares¡­ please don¡¯t tell me that she¡¯s like Bill. Whatever, not my problem. Time to dig in! "Boooooob!" Before I can enjoy the fruits of my labor, I am interrupted again, this time by a princess bursting through the kitchen doors. "Bob! Hey, Bob! Where''s my portion?" It¡¯s none other than Edith. She is only fourteen but eats my food like a glutton. I wonder where she puts it all. ¡°Good morning Princess Edith. I guess you can have my portion if you really want it.¡± Farewell my creation. My only regret in your creation is that I never got the chance to enjoy you. Handing her my plate, she frowns at me. ¡°That won¡¯t do!¡± Could it be? ¡°You need to eat too!¡± Can I really have some too? ¡°Here, I¡¯ll even feed you.¡± Oh joy! My creation has come back to me! ¡°Say ¡®Aaah~¡¯ Bob.¡± *Aaah* Placing the food in my mouth, it hit me like an anvil drop. This food is delicious! Oooh, the creamy cheese, tangy tomatoes, tender beef, and al dente noodles. I¡¯m in heaven. Something feels off though. ¡°Huh? Why aren¡¯t you eating? I thought you wanted some?¡± Edith is sitting there, staring at the fork in a daze so I take it from her hand and put some food on it. ¡°Say ¡®Aaah~¡¯ Edith.¡± Mechanically, she does as prompted and opens her mouth. After a few moments of chewing, the light comes back to her eyes and her cheeks start reddening. Did I perhaps put too much pepper? ¡°So, how does it taste?¡± ¡°It¡¯s... delicious.¡± It¡¯s too silent¡­ looking to the heroes, I find them staring at me and Edith. ¡°Is there something wrong? Eat up. We¡¯ll be starting training after your meal.¡± As they start eating, they whisper among themselves. It¡¯s not like I can¡¯t hear them, but it¡¯d be rude to listen in when they¡¯re clearly trying to be discreet about it. ¡°Does he not realize what she¡¯s doing?¡± ¡°Like you¡¯re one to talk, Nathan, you idiot. Don¡¯t you think so Riley?¡± ¡°Yeah, so dense that it¡¯s sad, the both of them.¡± "Yip-yip!" ¡­ ¡°Uuh, guys? Why¡¯d you go silent on me. Is it something I did?¡±
Sooooo¡­.. A/N here. I may have mentioned previously, but none of this is likely to be stable in style or consistency between each chapter. If any of the character traits change drastically, please point it out so that I may improve myself and fix it. Thanks for reading. P.s. I¡¯ve added some possible plot ideas to the info/world doc if you¡¯re into shadowy plots and backstories. It¡¯s not much right now, but it¡¯s an idea towards a direction. Chapter 6 - Training Pt. 1/2 (Birds and Stones) ¡°Okay, to know how to fight and be good at it, you first need to know what you are good at. Try some of these training weapons and pick whatever feels good to you. You should have one main weapon and a backup weapon. We can test your aptitude for magic later at the mages¡¯ tower.¡± Lined up on several racks are weighted wooden mock-ups of various weapons ranging from daggers and shields to clubs and flails. After our meal in the kitchens, I make quick work of cleaning up the dishes and took Nathan, Serina, and Riley back to the training grounds. Edith decided to tag along despite being full red in the face and is sitting next to me on a bench. I sincerely hope that a bug isn¡¯t being passed around the castle. It¡¯d be horrible if everybody got sick. I should be fine though, Bill said something about idiots and an inability to get sick. They¡¯ll be fine. Oh, and Hotdog is sitting under a bench in the shade to watch. ¡°Hey, Bob.¡± Nathan calls out to me. ¡°Yeah?¡± ¡°I¡¯m a bit weak so what would you recommend?¡± ¡°Well, you¡¯re also fairly fast, right? You should make use of that so I¡¯d say daggers or a short sword would be good for you. You can just dodge attacks while closing distance to counter. If you happen to have good magical abilities, maybe you could mix that into your attacks.¡± ¡°Thanks Bob. I think I¡¯ll pick the short sword as my main weapon and have the daggers on standby.¡± Picking up the wooden counterparts, he turns to his companions and asks, ¡°Are you two ready?¡± ¡°¡°Yes,¡±¡± the two chorused. Serina chose a bow and rapier for her two weapons; it compliments her grace and confidence well. Next to her, Riley is holding a hand axe and flail¡­ I think it¡¯s scary how the calmer one chose weapons the most opposite of what I was expecting. Well, it¡¯s not like I¡¯m in a position to say no. We¡¯ll just see how they perform with it for now and make adjustments as we go along. ¡°Now that you all have your weapons, I want you to get accustomed to their weight and feel. Here, have a couple swings at these earthen dummies.¡± With a wave of my hand, I erect three rock hard figures spaced far enough that my trainees wouldn¡¯t be able to hurt each other on accident. ¡°Wha~? How¡¯d you do that?¡± ¡°What do you mean, ¡®How¡¯d you do that?¡¯? It¡¯s magic, nothing that great. Even Edith here can use magic, wind and water magic to be exact. Enough of that for now. You¡¯ll have plenty of time to play with magic at the mage¡¯s tower.¡± Honestly, I¡¯d thought that Nathan would have gotten used to this world by now. He¡¯s got a good head on his shoulders but it¡¯s full of fluff it seems. ¡°Well, what are you waiting for? Try hitting the earthen dummies.¡± The first to start is Serina with her rapier, followed by Riley who alternates swings with her flail and axe, and lastly by Nathan with his short sword. Hmm¡­ they¡¯ve got the gist of things. Serina has already figured out how to stab properly, Riley has gotten a good tempo down with her swings, and Nathan is squaring up his stance and swing, all without me even needing to say anything. This hero-sitting job might be easier than I thought. It¡¯s too bad that I don¡¯t have as much time to perfect my fried lasagna and casserole fritters any more. This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there. ¡­ Okay, I think they¡¯ve gotten enough training for now. ¡°ATTEN-SHUN!¡± The three snap to surprisingly fast, maybe I should do this once in awhile during other activities so see how they¡¯d react. ¡°That¡¯s enough training for now. Let¡¯s take a quick break, then go to the mages¡¯ tower for your introduction to magic. There¡¯ll be plenty of time for your doom training later anyway.¡± Everybody¡¯s giving me this look now. Even the princess and Hotdog. Did I say that last bit out loud? Oops. Well, if I can¡¯t spend my time cooking, I¡¯ve got to find something fun to do, right? It¡¯s like killing two stoners with one bird¡­ or was it killing two birds with one stoner? Hmm¡­ I¡¯ll ask Bill about that one later.
A/N - I tend to get a little long winded sometimes...Spoiler : Thanks to the anon and donkeymonsterz for the ratings/review. Just a note on the reviews, but advanced reviews get a front page mention of the RRL site, further increasing viewership. If you¡¯re making a review, I¡¯d prefer an advanced one as to see what I could improve upon for my story and the added exposure helps, too. Last chapter¡¯s poll standings as of 2/20/15 - 19 readers <3 me and one hates me. @ the person who said he/she/it hates me in last chapters poll, don¡¯t worry, I love you regardless of your stance. You little tsundere, you. Do you need a hug? =3 About the past Valentine¡¯s event, I¡¯d planned a possible side chapter, but my head¡¯s blanking. If any scraps of that idea come to fruitrition, I¡¯ll post a double chapter up for you guys. One regular and one side chapter. To any who have read Not Quite an Author (Yet), I¡¯ll be trying to start that one up again or be adapting the idea in my TTC in the coming weeks. It¡¯ll be riffing off of our lovingly insane brother of starch, potato_of_darkness, and his stories for the next stretch. There will be more info for you when I actually produce something for it. tldr; Thanks for the reviews, poll takers and there may be work on NQaA eventually. Sorry it¡¯s taking me so long to write, but I just do this for fun. I¡¯ll see if I can get the other half of training out by Monday. I just wanted to get this out there of any who were wondering whether or not I was still alive. As always, thanks for reading. Chapter 7 Training Pt. 2/3 (Out the Window) Spoiler: Quick Notes Been a few weeks¡­ yeah, sorry about that. Not much momentum going right now with my weak-willed self and life. This particular chapter has had at least two failed starts, one of which actually got somewhere and may or may not have different jokes than those in this posted one. The scraps can be found here but I don¡¯t recommend trawling through it. This chapter is a bit of a patchwork of all the scraps and whatever my mind is thinking at the time of writing (currently 2AM local time) so you¡¯re not really missing anything. The entirety of the Noodle Knight development folder can be found here or through my TTC so drop me a comment or suggestion in the comments or on the docs. Just be aware that some links may be missing or out of date. Without further ado, I hope you enjoy the chapter.
[Experimental] Nathan POV Barring the future ¡°doom training¡±, I think everything so far has gone considerably well. Despite the fact that my two friends and I have been mysteriously transported to another world in a flash of light. What if one of us had been in the bathroom or something? That wouldn¡¯t have been good¡­ Anyways, our current trainer/mentor/babysitter is a Noodle Knight named Bob. Like his name suggests, he¡¯s a fairly simple guy, if a tad dense at times. It¡¯s like he¡¯s a few cards short of a deck. He¡¯s even oblivious to the ladies¡¯ advances around the castle. Several clearly have eyes on him, including Edith¡¯s open advances. Sadly for her, I don¡¯t think he sees her more than a little sister. All in all, Bob is jovial, but dense. I know, I know. Like I¡¯m one to talk. I know that both Serina and Riley feel something towards me by the way they¡¯re so forward, but I¡¯m worried about what the future holds. How can I act knowing that one mistake may spell our doom? If I accept one, what happens to the other? If I reject one, what happens then? We¡¯ve been friends since childhood but I¡¯m not sure when it developed into the subtle stalemate it is today. Best to remain friends than uncertain couples/rivals, I guess. I don¡¯t want to hurt either of them or cause them to do anything rash. *sigh* It¡¯s difficult playing the cliched dense harem lord. What am I gonna do? Oh well. No use worrying about it now. Paying attention to my surroundings again, it seems that we¡¯ve arrived at the mages¡¯ tower. A central spire stands erect between two small grass-covered domes and a doorway lays at the base. As Bob knocks on the door, the sound of something large and mechanical can be heard in response. The girls cling to my arms as we step back in worry. *BAM* The top of the spire splits open, ejecting something white straight into the air. Seconds later, that white something lands with a thud on the grass before us on one knee, arms spread open in welcome¡­ pointing the wrong direction. ¡°Tadaa! And welcome to thy Hole of Glory. The very place where- Huh? Where art the heroes and Bob? The sensors doth proclaimed they hath arrived.¡± Bob coughs lightly to grab the guy in white¡¯s attention. Turning around to look at us, he appears to be a wizened old man much like Gandalf, but with 90% less awesomeness. I must have whispered that last bit under my breath as Serina giggles. The rest of us continue to stare blankly at the guy, even Bob seems shocked with the whole thing. ¡°Why for the looks of Bill? Art thou not amazed?¡± Behind the old dude, somebody pops their head out of the doorway. ¡°Did you activate the eject sequence again, Sam? You know that¡¯s only for emergency releases so that experiments don¡¯t blow everything up. Also, I believe you meant to say ¡°Hall of Glory¡±, sir.¡± ¡°Pish-posh Simon. Hall of Glory, Hole of Glory, same difference. We have a bigger problem. I just jumped from the top of a tower, landed on a knee, went ¡®Tadaa!¡¯ and nobody is amazed?¡± Bob then breaks from his shock only to utter, ¡°So cool¡­ Teach me how to do that! I wanna fly too!¡± It looks like somebody was amazed. We still don¡¯t know who this old guy is though. Riley starts to join Serina in nudging my arm in an attempt to get things moving. I get it, but I wish they would be more confident in themselves to ask instead of relying on me all the time. I won¡¯t always be there to help them. If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. ¡°Excuse me? But who are you? Is this where we learn magic?¡± I say, only to be ignored. ¡°Seriously? The only one who is amazed is Bob? He doesn¡¯t count by the way. He¡¯s amazed at just about everything. All the magical prowess in the world and the only one that¡¯s amazed is oblivious. No offense meant, Bob.¡± ¡°None taken.¡± Time to put plan ¡®get things moving¡¯ into action. ¡°Err, if you¡¯re done doing whatever you¡¯re doing, could we please continue on?¡± ¡°GRAAAAHHH!!! Nobody appreciates the finer things in life any more!¡± By this point, the old man looks like he¡¯s ready to start pulling his hair at any moment, which, in fact, he does. Wispy patches of cottony hair start falling onto the grass. A couple minutes later, he¡¯s leaning against the wall and panting for breath. Next, he procures a sparkling vial, full of golden liquid, from within his robes and downs it in one go. To everybody¡¯s amazement, except for the lab coat guy called Simon, his hair grows out in moments, leaving his once patchy head now a frizzled mane. Man, I really wish this world¡¯s inhabitants weren¡¯t so¡­ peculiar. With any luck, it¡¯s only the Kingdom of Noodles that¡¯s this crazy. I can¡¯t wait to get strong enough to be let loose and get the heck out of here. The only thing they have going for them is the food¡­ I might literally kill for Bob¡¯s cooking. ¡°Now that I¡¯ve calmed down a bit, might I inquire as to your intent for coming to the Glory Hall today?¡± ¡°Actually, I was just dropping off the heroes here so that they could learn some magic. Now that that¡¯s over with, I¡¯ll be going now,¡± Bob replies as he turns to leave. Before he could, however, the old dude grabbed Bob by the collar and started dragging him towards the oddly shaped building. ¡°You¡¯re not going anywhere, Bob. I need you for some practical demonstrations.¡± The three of us follow behind after a moment¡¯s hesitation. Hotdog had left earlier with Edith to accompany her in her life lessons. ¡­ The interior of the Hall of Glory was surprisingly plain. A cozy couch and table furnished a simple lobby before forking into two paths, one up the tower, another down and further in. ¡°I do believe introductions are in order. My name is Samuel the magical magician man of the Noodle Kingdom. This here is my assistant, Simon. Might I have the pleasure of your acquaintance?¡± I start followed by Riley who peeks from behind me. ¡°My name is Nathan. It¡¯s a pleasure to meet you.¡± ¡°Riley¡­¡± ¡°And I am Serina.¡± Feeling left out, Bob interjects with, ¡°Hi! I¡¯m-¡± :( *CRASH* ¡°What was that, Nathan?¡± Riley asks as she pulls closer to me. ¡°Worry not, for that is simply Logic being thrown out the window. Sometimes us magicy types need to throw Logic out the window in order to test new theories or make innovative discoveries.¡± Throwing logic out the window, huh? I guess that sort of makes sense, sometimes. What I want to know is how to use magic. ¡°Hey, Old Man! Can we please learn magic now?¡± Oh Serina, how I wish you weren¡¯t so blunt. ¡°So eager, are we? Let¡¯s get you all situated then. Follow me into one of the testing rooms and we¡¯ll begin your lessons on magic.¡±
Spoiler: A/N Hey-o¡­ Yeah, not much going on here. I¡¯ve kinda started an impromptu unofficial RRL guide¡­ thingy. Meh, check it out if you want. It¡¯s called Trending News (According to Narrator) and is mostly me derping about with my narrator, Narrator. (Yes, that''s grammatically correct. You''ll get it if you checked out NQaA.) P.s. I am aware of the chapter title. Intentions and results rarely go my way when writing. That may be a trend for a while or I¡¯ll just rename the training bits with only their sub titles. Chapter 08 - Magic This is the info dump of the magic system. If you don¡¯t wanna read but know about the system in its entirety, check out the Notes: Magic System Doc at the end of the chapter. It¡¯s dry so I don¡¯t recommend it.
[Experimental]* Serina POV The moment Nathan, Riley, and I were transported to this weird place, I was immediately against staying here out of sheer principle. However, now that I think about it more, it might not be so bad. There¡¯s no competition from those jackals at school and the only one I have to compete against here is Riley. In all honesty, I¡¯m willing to share if it comes down to that. Despite the fact that we¡¯ll have to combat some sort of Great Calamity, it can¡¯t be all that serious if the Kingdom of Noodles is any indication. Just look at the name! It¡¯s all just too fantastical and benign to be serious. Not to mention that I can have Nathan all to myself if something untoward happens to befall Riley. Sure, Nathan may be upset for a while, but I¡¯ll be the shoulder for him to lean on and have him all to myself after that. I seem to be getting ahead of myself however. Let¡¯s just take this one step at a time. It¡¯s best to start small, then go big. Earlier Bob helped us pick our weapons and now we¡¯re going to learn magic! Real-life magic! Perhaps I can learn something that will make Nathan notice me more¡­ ¡°Ahem, Hero Serina? If you aren¡¯t going to pay attention to the lesson, you can always come back when you¡¯re more ready to learn.¡± Oops, that old dude is looking at me now. Nathan is giving me this intense stare, too. Aww, don¡¯t look at me like that, I think I¡¯m starting to blush! ¡°Well?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, sir. I¡¯m paying attention now.¡± Don¡¯t forget, Serina. Baby steps first, then comes conquering Nathan¡¯s heart. ¡°Good, now that I have all of your attention, let¡¯s begin the lesson properly.¡± ¡°To get things started, let me formally introduce myself. I am Samuel Simmerson, great sauceror, magical mage of magical sauces and all things magic, but you can call me Sam. Now with that out of the way, I¡¯ll be teaching you of the basic magical alignments and will have Bob participate in some examples. From there, we shall have you practice manipulating mana in a safe and supervised manner until you feel comfortable with it.¡± After ducking behind a large desk, Sam pops back up with several glass flasks, a block of wood, cup of water, a candle, and pot of dirt before beginning. ¡°In order to use magic, you need to know what it is. Simply put, magic is the manipulation of mana in a structured will and strong projection. In other words, you can will mana into magic by projecting your will and intentions upon your personal mana. As for mana, there are two types, personal and ambient mana. Personal mana is the mana created by any living organism and is contained within its body while ambient mana comes from the environment and takes on the elements most closely related. We can only control our personal mana as ambient mana has no ties or signature as our own does. Some glyphs and materials may draw from ambient mana but more on that later.¡± So, if I wanted, I could probably manipulate this ¡®mana¡¯ without even saying a word. I know what I¡¯m practicing later. ¡°Since personal mana is produced and maintained within a person¡¯s body, it is believed to be an extension of one¡¯s life force, soul, or energy and the results of overuse, called mana burn, are similarly telling. Symptoms of mana burn include nausea, headaches, fainting, bloody noses, and shortness of breath. In the rare event of a person containing too much mana, you will suffer mana overload and must burn off this excess mana as it will, in some cases, make a person explode. The power high may feel good or even addicting, but a mana overload can just as easily kill you, if not provide a worse fate. Some cases of frequent mana overload have resulted in mutations, more commonly known as demonification for the twisted forms its victims bear.¡± ¡°Anyways, the four basic elements magicians can manipulate are Earth, Fire, Water, and Air.¡± Hehe, everything was fine and dandy, until the fire nation attacked. As he says each element, Sam holds his hand over the flasks one by one. The dirt and water are the most plain as it just sits there, but the fire and air elements swirl about in a vortex around the contours of the flask. Similarly, he mirrors the flasks with forming the dirt from the pot into a pillar, the cup of water into an ice cube, waved his hand to send a breeze through the room, and enlarged a flame on the candle until it looked like a blowtorch. ¡°Additionally, secondary magics such as magma, ice, and lightning may be achieved through specialization and/or combining the basic elements. There are many paths towards the same destination so don¡¯t worry too much if you don¡¯t think your element can achieve the goals you want. Each person handles mana, and therefore magic, differently so when in doubt, throw Logic out the window and have at it to be sure.¡± I wonder if I could use fire magic to cool instead of heat. Fire is considered another form of energy and if I take that at its base form, energy, I could possibly draw energy out of an object instead of increasing energy to produce a flame or heat. Conversely, drawn energy may then be transferred to another state or location if I apply the conservation of energy. If I had a molten piece of metal, could I then convert its heat energy into kinetic, therefore creating a bullet or explosion? This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. ¡°Outside of the basic elemental systems are the chaotic pair, light and dark as they are in constant conflict yet maintain a balance with the other. Despite their names, do not associate one or the other with good and evil. All power is fully capable of both inflicting pain and helping those in need. Some of the more common uses of light and dark mana is illumination, darkness, healing, and hexes.¡± Good. I¡¯ve always found the whole, light is holy and darkness is evil situation to be a bit contrived. ¡°Now, who can tell me the difference between when I used magic in the flasks and magic with the objects on this table? Yes, Nathan?¡± To my left, Nathan raises his hand energetically. ¡°I noticed that with the materials, you manipulated a pre-existing material, but formed the element within the flasks. I¡¯d assume that the mana consumption between the two instances differ on the application. With the dirt, all you had to do was form it into a block while in the flask, you created dirt, seemingly from nothing.¡± Oh, he¡¯s so cute when he¡¯s acting smart. I could just hug him! ¡°Correct. It is far easier to produce a desired magical phenomena if you simply manipulate pre-existing factors within your environment. That isn¡¯t to say that you can¡¯t produce a flame over the ocean, just that it¡¯s much more mana intensive than striking a flint to a lantern.¡± ¡°Lastly are mediums, glyphs, and controlled burn of mana. Mediums such as mythril, mana stones, crystals, staves, or even just something a mage has a strong personal attachment to can serve to channel and focus mana more easily.¡± Cool, now I can be practical and cosplay as that sexy mage from Nathan¡¯s RPG. That¡¯ll be sure to catch his eye. ¡°Glyphs, while very limited in versatility, yield consistent results and are often the only way for one to create more complex spells. An example of this is the hero summoning spell which required no less than fifty distinct glyphs and forty-six geometric control units.¡± ¡°Finally, mana can be used at controlled rates. This is achieved by either channeling mana directly into a spell, such as a flame or light spell, or by charging a medium and controlling the stored charge with a prearranged glyph or self maintaining control spell. Anyways, who¡¯s ready for some magic?¡± ¡°Finally!!!¡± I exclaim while my friends answer, ¡°Yes please,¡± and, ¡°Unh.¡± I can¡¯t take much more of this sitting around and doing nothing. It¡¯s almost as bad as my history teacher¡¯s lectures. Bob, on the other hand, starts from his nap and yells, ¡°Finally! Do I get to blow stuff up this time? Last time, all you had me do was dig holes.¡± ¡°Yes, Bob, you can blow stuff up this time. Meet us on the training grounds behind the Tower of Glory.¡± With a hop, skip, and a dash, Bob is out of the room in three seconds flat. I swear he left behind an after image like in the cartoons. ¡°Well, shall we?¡± ... A few minute later, we were out of the Hall/Hole of Glory. Rounding the tower, I was surprised to see a person buried head first in the dirt, his legs slumped in resignation to his fate within the ground. The only one who doesn¡¯t bat an eye at this is Sam, and he greets the pair of legs no less! ¡°Hey Logic. How¡¯s it hanging.¡± ¡°Murmph mmph-mphm emph. Mmph mrm mrr.¡± [I¡¯m doing fine, don¡¯t mind me.] His muddled greeting returned, Sam continues on like this is normal. I guess I¡¯ll just have to get used to it if this is the norm around here. I can¡¯t wait to learn how to use magic!
Notes: Magic System Doc ^Specific rules, instances, and full coverage of magical rules. Will be edited as needed. Spoiler: A/N I made myself a little cover so check it out¡­ Yes, it looks like Jurassic Park¡¯s cover simply for the fact that the book was sitting in front of my face at the time. Beware the giant noodle¡­ BEWARE!!! I forgot to thank those of you who posted reviews last time so thanks for that. I¡¯ve read them and will go back to fix up some of the grammar in previous chapters if I ever get around to it. Also, Shadow_Eater21, I haven¡¯t forgotten about you. Good luck with writing your story. If you still plan on writing it, I suggest just taking what you¡¯ve already got and jumping straight into it. Things will work themselves out eventually and if not, the experience will help you on your next attempt. *I¡¯ll be changing these [Experimental] chapters if either nobody likes them or if I feel they just don¡¯t work right. The originals will still be up, but will be shoved in a spoiler box in favor of a different perspective. Noodle Doodles!!! [Not a Chapter] I have a new-ish drawing tablet. I got bored. I had a blank canvas and my head was in derp mode. Here are some results. Noodle Doodles Logic (Start at the bottom) This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it. (If you''ve got any requests or ideas, feel free to post them in the comments below. No promises, but doodles may come as spontaneously as chapters do... Yeah, if you haven''t figured it out yet, I have no idea what I''m doing here. Yay for spontaneity! At least when it gets things done. The flipside means nothing gets done for a long time.) Chapter 08.5 - Bobs Magic There¡¯s not really much plot or development in this one and it¡¯s short, hence it being called a half chapter. Here¡¯s the magic, Bob style¡­ sorta. It¡¯s not exactly Bob-esque enough for me, but I¡¯m doing this before bed so yay for being groggy. It may be improved upon when I¡¯m alive to the world again.
Bob POV Ooh goody. Sam¡¯s giving the heroes the run down on magic. In the mean time, I¡¯ll have a nice nap. See you in a few minutes, world! ¡°Ahem, Hero Serina? If you aren¡¯t going to pay attention to..." Zzzz... ¡°Bob... Come on Bob. Don¡¯t do this to me.¡± Hmm? Is nap time already over? Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I notice that I¡¯m in my food mecca! I haven¡¯t seen this place since *cough*chapter 3*cough*! Who¡¯s this guy in front of me though? He looks kind of lumpy and brown¡­ like a potato. ¡°Do you remember me?¡± He¡¯s fat, round, and got splotchy bits, too. I think I¡¯ll call him Spuds. ¡°Nope. Who are you exactly?¡± ¡°*sigh* I really should have done better work the first time around¡­¡± A few more mutters escape my hearing until he claps and continues on. ¡°My name matters not at this time. Anyways, I hear you¡¯ve been appointed as the summoned heroes¡¯ personal tutor cum babysitter.¡± Huh, word travels fast. Then again, Spuds is a dream potato from my head so I guess the voices in my head would know of everything I know of. It¡¯d be weird if they didn¡¯t, right? Actually, there¡¯s little Bill; he¡¯s quiet but nicer than actual Bill. ¡°You¡¯ll likely need all your skills available in the coming time so let¡¯s have a refresher course of your magic, shall we?¡± ¡°Eh, why not?¡± It¡¯s best to just humor Spuds. I think I like him. ¡°Good. You already know how to use magic, right? If I remember correctly, you¡¯re best at earth magic and body reinforcement magic. Could you please hit these targets with your magic?¡± About fifteen feet away, uncooked lasagna sheets spring up from the casserole ground and paint themselves targets of marinara. Those must be my targets. First visualize, then realize the magic. Control is key for without control, the magic may run rampant or not manifest at all. ¡°Step one, mix the ingredients.¡± Gathering up a ball of mana from my belly, I knead it like dough until it¡¯s nice and bouncy like pizza dough. ¡°Step two, form the dough.¡± Spinning the mana-dough out provides a vortex of mana while compressing and stretching it along the central spinning axis forms my dough into a sharpened cone of concentrated mana. ¡°Step three, pop these buns in the oven.¡± That should be enough preparation. Time for the cooking. Willing the spiraling mana bolt forwards, I release it from its fixed position on my right and it shoots forwards, shattering the first lasagna pasta target. ¡°Good. Good! I see that you haven¡¯t lost control of the basics yet. Now show me each of the elements in turn.¡± Waving his hand, several more pasta targets sprout up. Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more. Okay, water mana is kinda cold and sloshy like water so I create a mana bubble shell to hold the water mana before throwing it into the next target. Earth mana is a bit more aromatic and solid so it¡¯s best to add it to an already focused dish of intent- a spike of earth stabs another target. Fire is hot like a pepper and an open flame so I use a flame to form the dish and compress before sprinkling it with more potent peppers- the resulting fireball explodes against a target and sends shrapnel into several surrounding pasta sheets, setting them aflame. Air mana is breezy and cool, refreshing like mint so giving a more gentle intent with spike of will can produce blades of wind- another handful of targets get cut to pieces. Last are light and dark mana, the chaotic duo. Light tastes sweet while darkness tastes bitter- both manas require intense will to create the desired effect so I simply make a ball of light and shadow respectively. ¡°Good job. It looks like you don¡¯t need my help after all. Just keep that up and you¡¯ll do fine.¡± ¡°Since the magic review is over, can I go dive into the stream of food over there?¡± I can¡¯t tell you how much I¡¯ve been holding myself back. This self control thing is more difficult than you¡¯d think. ¡°Sorry, Bob, but it¡¯s time for you to go.¡± What? NO!!! I wanted to finally taste the food! Diving head first towards the food, I¡¯m stopped once again by dream physics. I just wanted to eat the food... I hope to see you again in the future when you¡¯ve regained your¡­ ¡­ ¡°Anyways, who¡¯s ready for some magic?¡± ¡°Finally!!!¡± Who? What? When? Where? Huh? Oh, right, magic lessons and heroes¡­ What was that dream about, again? Meh, it must not be very important if I can¡¯t remember what it¡¯s about. ¡°Finally! Do I get to blow stuff up this time? Last time, all you had me do was dig holes.¡± ¡°Yes, Bob, you can blow stuff up this time.¡± Ah yeah! Let¡¯s blow stuff up this time!
Spoiler: A/N It¡¯s been a while¡­ oops. Unless I actively will myself to write, I¡¯m not much for writing continuous stories. Maybe WriTE will help a bit once it¡¯s officially up and running. This chapter was written right before bed on a whim because I figured I should work on this more¡­ Anyways, if you have any questions, comments, or spot any mistakes, please comment below. It¡¯d be a great help Shout out to Shadow_Eater21 for the advanced review. I think I got a handful of new readers from that review alone. It was about a 13% increase in followers after that review was posted. In other news, WOE/WriTE is having a vote on its official name. You still have some time so go vote! Its Time to D-D-D-D-DUEL! Hi everybody! I just wanted to give a brief update on the near future of Noodle Knight. With the recent addition of official duels, I seem to have acquired a writing duel along the way with BeeBaBoop. The duel consists of three chapters and the winner is decided by not me, not the cat on the cover of T.N.(A.t.N.), not Bob, not even Narrator, but by you, the readers. Long story short, the two of us, Boop and I, write three chapters and at the end of the duel, you all shall cast your votes on which you like the most. I''m not sure how the votes shall be tallied, but we''ll figure it out soon enough. The current updates are scheduled to be released within the next two or three weeks depending on real life issues. Here''s the official duel proposal and BeeBaBoop''s fic is called A-Zero. Check it out if you have the time. Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.
In other news, I''m apt to pick Genesis back up after the duel, but I''ll be writing with more of a plan. If you like my sense of humor, but with a more solid plot, then you might like it. I apologize for the rough start as it''s one of the first proper stories I tried to write on RRL so things may go through a couple revisions to clean it all up. P.s. Do you like the Mod badge? It''s shiny and green... Nothing is really gonna change much though. As always, ideas and stray thoughts posted below are fair game to be used in Noodle Knight. See you soon with those chapters. Chapter 09 - Adventure! But First... Bob POV It¡¯s been an entire two weeks of babysitting those three. It¡¯s so dull. Sure, I got to blow stuff up on the first day, but after that, I just had to sit back and make sure they didn¡¯t blow themselves up. It¡¯s a pity none of them did. It would have been one less head to keep track of. Oh, and that¡¯s not even the worst of it. No, the worst thing is that I could never enjoy my cooking in peace! Whenever I make a new or different dish that¡¯s not ¡®normal¡¯, Serina just has to be a limp noodle and insult it¡­ She called them abominations of all food kind. *Sniff* don¡¯t worry lasagna tacos, I¡¯ll always hold your delicious, cheesy, crunchy, meatiness in my personal cookbook favorites. ¡°Bob! Hurry up, you said we were going on an adventure!¡± Nathan shouts from the gates. Right, I forgot to mention that the queen decided it was time to show them the sights, give them a little tour of the city, oh, and also get rid of a little gnoll problem in the nearby hills. Guess I better get going. ¡°Come on Hotdog.¡± ¡°Yip-Yip!¡± *sigh* She always knows how to cheer me up. Along the way towards the gates, I stop by my room to grab my bag of shinies. I can¡¯t buy food or kitchenware without shinies, afterall. ¡­ Okay then. Now that I have my shinies in hand along with Hotdog and the heroes, we¡¯re ready to go adventuring! ¡°Gather round now. Nathan, Serina, Riley, I have one thing to say to you before we exit these gates. Around the city, it¡¯s okay to look, but don¡¯t be rude and stare, no matter how hard it is. If you ever get lost, just return to the central fountain by sundown and I¡¯ll meet you there. Understood?¡± ¡°¡°¡°Sir! Yes Sir!¡±¡±¡± they chorused together. Aww, they look so cute dressed up in their assorted arms and armors. ¡°Just to be sure, you have your IDs, some food, water, and money, right?¡± ¡°Yes Bob.¡± ¡°Oh, and also a change of clothes, light camping gear, and toothbrush?¡± ¡°Yes Bob! Can we get going already?¡± *Sniff* They grow up so fast. ¡°Okay. Open the gates! It¡¯s time to get some food!¡± As the gates open up, the heroes let out a collective gasp. Yes. Yes! Take it all in, my young padawans! The sights! The smells! ¡°THE FOODS!¡± ¡°-ob.¡± Did somebody say something? I¡¯m having a little deja vu moment here. ¡°Ahem, what? Did you say something, Nathan?¡± ¡°Yeah. I¡¯m just amazed at all the different shapes and sizes of people here. Where do they all come from?¡± ¡°What, never seen a wolfman, dragonkin, dwarves, or elves before?¡± ¡°No, but why are they all here?¡± he asks. Odd, I could have sworn that we had a few beastkin working in the castle. Their fur is so soft. Fwue~ Petting their heads is pure bliss¡­ No time to get sidetracked now, however. It¡¯s edge-yu-ma-cation time. ¡°Well, I¡¯m sure you¡¯ve had some lessons on the Noodle Kingdom and surrounding lands from some mentors, right? So, take what you¡¯ve learned these past two weeks and you tell me why they¡¯re here.¡± ¡°But Bob, we want to know your thoughts on it. That¡¯s why we¡¯re asking you.¡± Riley chimes in from the side. Ooh, she¡¯s crafty. I knew she was a sharp one. What the hey, I¡¯ll humor them. ¡°Fine, but we walk and talk. Okay?¡± Once they all nod and we start walking around town, I begin. ¡°The Noodle Kingdom began its humble beginnings as a trade city, it being closest to the Northern, Southern, and Eastern lands. Ignore the West for now as it¡¯s called the Barren Lands for a reason. Anyways, the Noodle Kingdom is a trade city as I was saying, so it stands to reason that all the various races would converge here, right? There¡¯s beastkin that live almost anywhere, elves that live primarily to the south and south-eastern lands within the forests but there are a few groups of dark elves towards the east proper, the demonic races mostly come from the temperate east, dwarves that hail from the mountainous north, and us humans who live just about everywhere except for the Barren Lands. Nobody lives in the Barren Lands as far as we¡¯re aware of. Well, there¡¯s also some of the more crude races such as goblins and orcs which are a step above monsters, but they mostly keep to themselves. We¡¯ll trade and stuff if they¡¯re willing, but if they turn towards banditry as they have in the past, everybody joins in to form a sort of militia. This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there. That about sums up all the main racial groups you can find in the Noodle Kingdom. Just be polite and you¡¯ll be fine. Now that we¡¯ve arrived at the central fountain, I¡¯ll leave you to gather your supplies. Meet back here by sundown. I¡¯ll leave you to it.¡± And I¡¯ll lead myself to those delectable looking dumplings over there, and these scrumptious sandwiches over here, along with that rack of lamb right there, and...
Spoiler: Butt-ton o¡¯ Stuff -aka- READ ME (please?) Hey-o, j0nn0 here with some news. 1- It¡¯s game time with BeeBaBoop so we¡¯ll be releasing three chapters in paired releases and this is the first of three. Be sure to check out his fic, A-Zero, so you can properly vote once it¡¯s all over. 2- Marmartar, now a member of INKED, was kind enough to draw some character portraits for me, just cuz. The characters drawn are Bill, Serina, and everybody¡¯s favorite, BOB! Okay, maybe they¡¯re not perfect representations, but they¡¯re pretty good nonetheless. Check them out in the art thread here. I know it¡¯s a bit late to share, but it has been some time since I could just sit down and write. Better late than never. 3- I coulda sworn that I had something else to say¡­ maybe not. Well, there¡¯s Genesis which I¡¯m thinking of writing again, several long term duels to work with, another interesting story idea made of several former scraps, and you can look forward to another chapter within a week. There will be actual adventuring of some sort¡­ I¡¯m working on it.
P.s. The ¡°interesting story idea¡± is for the brave of heart and not meant for those easily offended by lack of ¡°proper¡± storytelling, completely not strong MC, absence of a fully enclosed house (fourth wall and all), who hate my Narrator, dislike blatant self inserts as the god author of the story, dislike short chapters, or just don¡¯t like bad words such as ¡°doo-doo¡± and ¡°copopulation¡±... In all seriousness, I¡¯m referring to the more mature version of those two words, if you haven¡¯t figured it out yet. If still curious as to what other random and wholly abnormal stuff my head can cook up, feel free to check it out Spoiler: DO NOT OPEN UNDER PAIN OF INSANITY here Honestly speaking, if you straight up don¡¯t like my whacked up sense of humor, don¡¯t even click on it. I did write all of ^that^ the other day within a couple hours, idea and all, so don¡¯t take it seriously, like, ever. If you try to take it seriously, it¡¯ll be like hanging out with a clown all day and expecting to not get hit in the face with a cream pie at least once. I may write more in the future, but I¡¯ll never state when it¡¯s updated. Perhaps I¡¯ll post it to RRL when I have a sizable amount of ¡°chapters¡± amassed. P.p.s. Ignore the ¡°P.s.¡± You saw nothing. P.p.p.s. I just checked my word count for this update compared to BeeBaBoop¡¯s chapters for A-Zero¡­ I feel so unaccomplished now. This chapter is about half as long as Boop¡¯s latest. :-| Ugh, I feel compelled to write longer chapters, but I don¡¯t know how to without forcing myself and making it feel forced. I just start writing and stop when my brain dies, sputtering to an incomplete stop. Poll posted! Vote here! *Poll Info: Currently, the polls will be posted in a series of 3 alongside the chapter releases. That''s all. See you in the comment section. Chapter 10 - Actual Plot? Bob POV ¡°UP AN¡¯ AT ¡®EM KIDS! Rise and shine cuz the grapes ain¡¯t wine!¡± Aah, what a day to camp out under the stars. As my three trainees stretch out their stiff bodies, I stoke the campfire, pull out my trusty skillet, and start making some eggs and bacon. Today is the day that we take care of the queen¡¯s gnoll problem in the local hills and as everybody knows, you can¡¯t fight or adventure on an empty stomach. A few minutes later, Nathan is cleaned up, ready to eat while the other two are still groggy. Evidently, he¡¯s still tired by the way he grumpily shovels his food away. ¡°You awake yet, Nathan?¡± ¡°Ugh.¡± ¡°No worries, I can wait.¡± In the meantime, I can gather some berries in from the nearby bushes. When I come back, I find that Nathan and Riley have finished eating and are sitting around while Serina is still asleep. Hmm¡­ letting food go cold is bad. I should rectify that. Two blueberries should do the trick. Two quick flicks lodge them in Serina¡¯s nose and wakes her with a start. ¡°Huh? Hoo? Wha? Wher is dis pwace? Amb why arr yuu laughing?¡± After glaring at her friends, she finally sneezes out the berries and gives me a glare. Maybe throwing berries at her nose wasn¡¯t the smartest thing to do. Now I have two less blueberries to eat. ¡°Eat up, we¡¯ll be heading for the hills in ten minutes. We¡¯re going to be solving a little gnoll problem so make sure you¡¯ve got your weapons ready. Most aren¡¯t violent, but a certain tribe has been stirring up trouble lately, impeding the trade caravans and therefore, my delicious food and spices. I was thinking of letting some other guys, maybe Bill, take care of it, but I couldn¡¯t resist after hearing that it involved my precious food. You need the experience, too.¡± Nobody, and I mean nobody, is going to get in the way of me and my food. ¡­ ¡°Bob, may I ask why we¡¯re just walking down an open path between that is clearly ambushed?¡± Nathan asks. ¡°Well-¡± ¡°Yeah! Why the heck do we have to trek all the way out here? It¡¯s dirty, and stinky, and there¡¯s bugs everywhere! I think I ate a few. Ew.¡± ¡°...Are you done interrupting? If so, I can explain myself. And bugs are an excellent source of protein. Don¡¯t forget that.¡± ¡°Ew. Just hurry up and explain the plan.¡± ¡°Thank you. Okay, the reason why we¡¯re walking in the open like this where an ambush could happen is because we are waiting for an ambush to happen.¡± ¡°¡°¡°WHAT!!!¡±¡±¡± Really, they find the oddest of times to be perfectly in synchronization. ¡°Sheesh, quiet down a little. You¡¯ll scare off the little critters.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°For what reason?¡± ¡°I knew you were an idiot since you first made those dumb lasagna tacos.¡± ¡°Oh, that¡¯s an easy one. It¡¯s to get it over with quickly. With them in the open, we don¡¯t have to track them down. Let them come to us, then just bop them on the noggin. Done and done. Also, don¡¯t think that I didn¡¯t hear that, Serina.¡± ¡°That¡¯s the plan, so if you have no more questions, shall we sing a song to pass the time?¡± ¡°Sure.¡± ¡°If you wanna.¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°A one, a two, a one-two-three. OOOOOH!!! Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall!¡± ¡­ Boring. It¡¯s so boring. I sang the song three times through so far and nothing¡¯s happened. Serina didn¡¯t bother to sing, Riley sang through five verses, and Nathan was slightly better, sticking around for half of the first song. Why can¡¯t those gnolls just attack already so we can get this over with? Let¡¯s try this. They¡¯ll attack us in three, two, one¡­ nothing. Eh, nothing left but to sing some more. ¡°OOOOOOH! Ninety-nine bottles of b-¡± ¡°Bob! Look out behind you!¡± Nathan suddenly shouts. Ducking, I look back to see the other two diving for cover and Nathan deflecting an arrow with his dagger. Nice reflexes. Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings. Ah, and here come two gnolls rushing from out of the hills. They must be the ones assaulting the trade caravans, or at least some of them. I doubt two would be a problem for most, especially if they have guards with them. Now that¡¯s odd; they seem to be covering their ears and crying. I wonder what they¡¯re wailing about. Better get my frying pan ready, just in case I need to crack some eggs. It¡¯ll only be a few more moments before they¡¯re within earshot now. ¡°Stop! Make it stop! For the love of the great Wo¡¯den, make that infernal singing stop!¡± yells one gnoll in black rags, wielding a rusty short sword. ¡°I should have never left home today! I¡¯d do anything to make it stop singing!¡± cries another in a potato sack and armed with a club and odd pieces of armor. ¡°Bob? Should we be doing something about that?¡± ¡°Hehehe¡­ Let¡¯s see how effective my axe is against their armor.¡± ¡°Meh, do I have to do anything?¡± ¡°Nah, just leave this to me. You can take care of the next ones. Your concern is touching, Nathan, but unnecessary.¡± Not to mention, Riley sounds like she¡¯s more likely to create a bloodbath than send them on their way and Serina is just being a big meany as usual¡­ ¡°There! That¡¯s the one! We need to kill it before it can start singing again!¡± With a nod, the two gnolls rush forward, one with sword upraised, the other with its club trailing to the side. Time to get cooking! Still wailing about how horrible my singing is, they swing at the same time. You know what, this makes me feel a song coming on. ¡°Somebody¡¯s in the kitchen with Bo~ob!¡± Stepping back, their swings miss and hit the dirt. ¡°Somebody¡¯s in the kitchen I kno~o~oh!¡± The two split up and try to flank me. Smart, but not smart enough. ¡°Somebody¡¯s in the kitchen with Bo~ob!!!¡± They swing again but I parry the blade, disarming the one with a shortsword before throwing him into his companion. ¡°Playing the ol¡¯ banjo!¡± There, fighting over. ¡°And that is how you deal with two opponents, my young padawans.¡± Let¡¯s see what we have here. ¡°Hey, where¡¯s your leader?¡± I ask the more coherent one which happens to be mister no sword now. ¡°EEK! I¡¯ll do anything, just don¡¯t sing any more!¡± Well that¡¯s rude; I just asked a question. ¡°Hey! I just wanna know where your leader is. I need to talk to him.¡± ¡°Okay! Okay! Our leader is-¡± *bonk* The one with a club hits his companion on the head. It appears that he¡¯s the smarter one. ¡±Shh! Stupid. They can absolutely, positutely, no know that he¡¯s hiding behind that hill over there.¡± I guess not. A loud smack comes from the same direction of the hill and another gnoll stands up with his face in his right hand, the other raised in surrender. He has a bow strapped to his back and wears tribal looking painted leathers along with a stone knife at his hip. ¡°Honestly, you two bumbling buffoons always manage to screw things up. And you four, why don¡¯t we go back to my cave to talk. It¡¯s too open here to discuss things without interruptions.¡±
A/N Just putting this out there, but if the plot seems forced... Spoiler: it¡¯s a secret that¡¯s because it is. Just making some progress, however disjointed. The chapter hit 1.25k words and I felt it was time to stop so I did. It¡¯s better than nothing and letting NK stagnate. Right, moving on, don¡¯t forget to check out A-Zero by BeeBaBoop and vote on which chapter you liked more¡­ sorry for the delay. Writing slumps suck.
P.s. Boop should be posting his chapter soon, the poll is set to a 30 day close but is likely to close earlier, and RRL is being plagued by spotty 522 errors so posting it now.