《Femme Fatale - An Element On the Run》


 Chapter 1: A Glimpse of the Real World

    I wish I could ride our horse one day, although he¡¯ll probably die if I ever try to. It¡¯s a week after my 12th birthday and Papa finally came back home. I hate it when he goes to the city to sell the crops but at least he always brings me a present when it¡¯s around my birthday. The horse isn¡¯t for me though, Papa and Uncle bought the colt together since he''ll be plowing our shared land when he''s big enough. The present they brought back for me is a huge book on anatomy.


    ¡°How in the world were you able to find it? How could you afford it?¡± Mama takes care of the finances and I understand how she can be upset. Papa always gets me books for my birthday but none of them have ever been this big or detailed; although they are always science type books. He said he wants me to read practical things if I like reading so much, which I do.


    ¡°The regular customers spread word about our produce being bigger and sweeter so we sold more than usual. I took some money out of our half of the profit.¡± Papa nonchalantly explains and Mama points her nose up at him with her shoulders back to look more stern.


    ¡°How much?¡± Mama barks.


    ¡°It¡¯s ¡®cause of Feline that we got such a good harvest, Adelaide. We still have more than what we usually get.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t ask you that, Fredrick!¡± I get worried about when they stop using nicknames and mentally prepare to give up my book to be replaced by a cheaper one. Papa sighs with a pout pointing down at her. His pout is one of the things that Mama adores most about him. Papa has bright blue eyes that turn down at the ends with long eyelashes. With those and his expertly controlled facial features he looks like a boy who got in trouble for something he didn¡¯t do.


    ¡°The book was 2 gold pieces,¡± he mumbles.


    ¡°What?!¡± Mama¡¯s eyes grow wide.


    ¡°But I got it for 90 silver!¡± Now my eyes are wide! Mama eyes him with suspicion and Papa continues, ¡°I was negotiating with a merchant about giving him a discount if he bought a few loads and I noticed the book was marked for 2 gold originally but marked down to 1 gold and 40 silver. We talked it over and I gave him the discount while he lowered the price on the book.¡±


    ¡°Ugh, I suppose it could be an investment into her future; helping her husband making money as a midwife or something.¡± Mama holds her head like she got a headache from Papa¡¯s flagrant disregard for her efforts to save money: not only buying a, still expensive, book but also giving out discounts.


    Once Mama calms down Papa relaxes then gives me a grin, ¡°I hope you had a happy birthday, Feline.¡±


    ¡°I did, Papa,¡± I smile as big as a barn and slip into the next room to put the book alongside the others. I now have 7 books lined up above the hole in the ground I call a bed. Each one is a birthday present since I was five and I¡¯ve read over the previous 7 books over a dozen times already. Being excited over this new monster of a book will have to wait though since I have chores I need to finish.


    I glide past Mama and Papa with careful steps and head back out to the fields where I left the plough. Loosely gripping onto the handles, I leisurely push the metal scythe through the soil for the last time today. Now that the fertilizer is mixed in properly we can let winter through without this being a worry. My next chore is also in preparation of winter: gathering firewood. I take one of our newer axes along with my favorite and latch them to my slim waist. The forest is only a few steps away from our fields so I don¡¯t have to go very far from home. I remember when I was ten Papa brought me along for assistance, but after I beat off a bear Uncle and Papa decided that it was okay for me to go alone every once in a while. Mama was furious even after Papa used his pout and I chipped in with my own version. Even if she was angry, it¡¯s still a fact that the job gets done faster when I go into the forest alone. I¡¯ve been targeted as prey by several carnivores since then but only got some scratches as a result.


    Within the loosely crowded wilderness I find a tree of adequate size and set up to hack at it downward with my trusty ol¡¯ axe. It slices in clean enough and stops just where I want it to in order to begin the guiding wedge. As soon as the blade is free I take up another stance for my favorite part¡­ with one swift movement the metal slices through the wood and I swiftly step out of the way out of the way, ¡°timber!¡±


    The shout is completely unnecessary since I¡¯m the only one out here; however, it¡¯s still fun pretending that any animals around understand me and scurry off in gratitude. My axe couldn¡¯t reach all the way through the meter wide trunk so the tree splinters off the stump and knocks a few others out of the way while going down. This one wooden giant took down two others and I¡¯m satisfied with these for now. Going to the middle of the tree where the first branches span out I rip them off by hand and lay them to the side for later, split the trunk through the middle to make it easier to hold onto, and balance the still long lumber over my shoulder to stomp out of the woods. I lay all the timber at the outskirts of the forest so Papa, Uncle, and the older boys can chop them up to fill the wagon as best as they can. Heather, our old mule, may be weaker than she has been but is still plenty strong enough to tug along a full wagon a couple times.


    When the work is done it¡¯s almost dusk and Papa decides to walk with me to the house. ¡°Have you finished that book about farm animals?¡± His question makes me laugh since he knows that I¡¯ve read it to the point where I can recite any page. There''s no need to respond to something so obvious with words. ¡°Well, you¡¯re the one who¡¯s gonna train that colt from now on. He¡¯s still young so go easy on him.¡±This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.


    ¡°Papa, that book didn¡¯t have anything about training in it! It only has information on taking care of animals.¡±


    ¡°Oh, you¡¯ll be doing that too,¡± he adds while I double my flabbergasted expression. I don''t take care of anything more than the dogs, pigs, and hens since the old mule just about takes care of herself. ¡°If the book didn¡¯t say how to train a horse then just train it like it¡¯s a dog; you did a great job teaching the dogs.¡±


    I sigh, he can be so exhausting - I don¡¯t understand how he can just lump two completely different animals into the same category. ¡°What do you want to feed him?¡± I ask while inwardly thinking of what I need to teach a horse. Heather usually gets hay and grain but a growing colt might need something more substantial.


    ¡°Well, we figure you¡¯d know what to do,¡± he¡¯s awfully easy-going about not knowing what to feed the year old horse he just bought.


    ¡°What did you feed it on the way here?¡± I try to control my voice and not lose focus enough to stomp the ground in.


    ¡°We just let it eat grass. I thought your book would have told you that horses eat grass.¡± I know he¡¯s just teasing me at this point but it makes matters worse when he brings my books into it.


    ¡°If you have so much trust in me then I¡¯ll be using the grain we have in storage until we begin to collect straw next year.¡± I pick up my speed to where he¡¯ll have to run after me to tell me to find something else to use. He thinks he¡¯s so good at teasing but I''m a pretty fast learner.


    ~~~~~~~~~~


    Winter came soon after that and I spent most of my time in the barn to make sure the colt keeps warm enough. Even though the barn is still really cold I don¡¯t feel it as much as others do. In that time I read through the anatomy text only once. It had so much information that I had to stop and process what I read more than a few times. I¡¯m actually glad I don¡¯t have to sleep in one room with 14 other people since I can read without listening to half the family snoring and disturbing my concentration.


    ~~~~~~~~~~


    It¡¯s almost spring when we get a rare visitor. Just in case something goes wrong I¡¯m sent to the barn to hide. Through the cracked door I can listen to the greetings a little and learn that it¡¯s our closest neighbor, Mr. Munder. They take him inside to talk while I¡¯m stuck in here, figuring out what they¡¯re talking about.


    ¡°Why do I have to hide?¡± I ask Ethan, the horse I¡¯ve been training for seven months. He responds by going back into his stall. He¡¯s really good at recognizing words so he thought I gave him an order and went to hide like we¡¯re playing a game with the younger children. His ignorance makes me smile and I go after him for the company. ¡°I know that by now you¡¯ve noticed how strong and heavy I am,¡± I say while I ease down next to him. ¡°What I¡¯m not sure is if you realize how strange it is. Mama and Papa try not to make a big deal out of it but I know Papa loves it while Mama¡¯s worried about me finding a husband.¡± I pause to worry about letting her down. Women are meant to get married, especially farmer¡¯s daughters. ¡°Sometimes I wish I was normal,¡± I stroke his pink nose, ¡°but then I remember that I¡¯d be dead by now if I was.¡± I take his chin in my hand and bring it up to look at him, without struggle. ¡°You should be glad I don¡¯t easily get hurt, Sir. Stubborn.¡± He recognizes my serious tone and lowers his ears with big doe eyes. I can¡¯t resist that face and let his chin go, scratching under his jaw. He¡¯s like Papa sometimes with how emotional (manipulative) he can get.


    It¡¯s an hour before I¡¯m let out of the barn. Papa, Mama, Uncle, and Aunt¡¯s faces are mixes between anger, worry, and fear. ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Mama?¡± She¡¯s most likely to tell me if it¡¯s really bad news.


    ¡°There¡¯s a war to the North.¡±


    ¡°Oh,¡± If it¡¯s to the North then it means that we¡¯re most likely safe for now, but there will still be a need for soldiers. I¡¯m pretty sure that the national army takes all men from ages 15 - 40. If that¡¯s accurate then Matt, Sean, Peter, Ben, Junior, and Papa will have to go. I don¡¯t know anything about war but I know that it¡¯s terrifying. The adults refuse to talk about the one they lived through and the only thing my books say is that farmers give a fraction of their crops to the army in support.


    The rest of the day is spent in a foreboding silence. At night I can hear Aunt sniffing through otherwise silent sobbing, neither her nor Mama sleep much for the next few days. Aunt will have to part with Matt, Ben, and Junior while Mama will have let go of Papa as well as Sean and Peter.


    The officers gathering men from the civilians don¡¯t come for another month, an extremely anxious month. It¡¯s late in the evening when their wagon interrupts our supper, like drumming in the distance. With a few bangs on the door our brows drop and since I¡¯m the closest I¡¯m sent to open the door. It¡¯s too late for any courtesy calls and too late to try to hide me as most of us have a clue as to who''s on the other side of the door. I try hard to control my strength and the door slides open easily. There, I find five men towering over me. Each one is dressed in thick, musty clothes and they all have a mildly irritated attitude. The one in front reads a paper and scratches his grimy neck.


    ¡°The Brant family?¡±


    ¡°Yes, it is,¡± Uncle stands up and approaches the door, allowing me to return. The man doesn¡¯t bother to hide his indifference as he speaks to Uncle.


    ¡°We¡¯ll collect the men of this house from the ages of 15 to 40.¡± He glances behind Uncle at my cousins and brothers, ¡°you bring your own food and clothes until we reach base. We¡¯re heading straight for Bristow from here so pack accordingly.¡± Mama panics and calls out to him before he can continue his turn toward their wagons.


    ¡°It¡¯s quite late, sir, would you like to have supper with us? We can make more food for you and your companions.¡± Aunt and Mama have a brief moment of talking without speaking and Aunt continues for her.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure that you¡¯re tired from sleeping under the sky as well. If you¡¯d like, we could make room for you. It may be one room but it¡¯s still indoors.¡± Even while Mama spoke all the soldiers were interested. After Aunt spoke the leader of the group was obviously willing to accept.


    ¡°Alright,¡± he grins, ¡°bring out something to drink and we may turn out to be good friends.¡± I¡¯m not sure why he added the topic of friendship so I look to the adults; their eyes shine and they laugh with wide smiles, waving the men in. All the children under 9 y/o are told to go to Aunt and Uncle¡¯s room to sleep for tonight while the rest prepare the only other room of the house for the soldiers. Aunt goes with me to pick out a pig for me to slaughter and helps me tear the organs out. Mama meets us outside to cook it while Miranda and Eleanor prepare more side dishes from our preserved food. Aunt and I quickly wash up behind the barn and bring out the barrel of alcohol Uncle¡¯s been saving for an emergency. I sit it next to the back door so no one can see me carrying the large burden then help Mama to keep the fire strong while she watches the meat.


    ¡°You be courteous to the soldiers, Feline.¡±


    ¡°Yes, Mama.¡±


    ¡°Pretend to be weak, don¡¯t speak unless spoken to, if you have to speak then don¡¯t say much, don¡¯t make eye contact, and slip away if anything upsets you; I¡¯ll check on you when I can and we can deal with it as a family.¡±


    ¡°Yes, Mama.¡± I¡¯m unsure what she means by being upset or why she¡¯s telling me all this. There must be a reason, Mama¡¯s very smart and never wastes a thought.


    ¡°Just keep your distance without being rude,¡± she orders, ¡°you may not be grown all the way but you have a nice face; sometimes that¡¯s all you need to be bothered by some men.¡±


    ¡°Yes, Mama.¡±

 Chapter 2: I Dont Like the Real World

    With the five strange men, the four adults of the family, and the five eldest boys there¡¯s just enough room for them all to sit and be comfortable. Thankfully, the youngest ate long ago and only the older members of our two families were finishing our meal. We only have room for a table that seats fourteen so our combined family of twenty-seven eats in shifts. Everyone¡¯s combined effort making the extra food helped enough so that the soldiers didn¡¯t get too agitated with only beer to fill their stomachs. Through the doorway Mama and I carry platters of meat and set them at the table between the plates and mugs. Dirty hands tear into the meat like the mouths of starving wolves and Mama pauses before she takes her seat between Papa and Peter.


    Aunt had already navigated the rest of the children to bed before Mama and I served the meat. ¡°Once they¡¯re fed and full of beer,¡± Aunt whispers to the three of us older girls, ¡°I¡¯ll let you all join Veronica and the rest in the barn. I should have sent out enough blankets for everyone.¡± She lowers her voice more and eyes each of us individually. ¡°Be careful. We¡¯ll drink these men under the table if we can, but if they still manage to get indecent thoughts and find a way to the barn without a sound -¡± she looks at me, ¡°- defend yourselves and each other.¡± I nod confidently and my two older cousins look nervous. Aunt takes her seat between Uncle and Jr. and motions us to keep the mugs full.


    It barely takes a moment before we notice mugs emptying; not much later we see empty plates and I bring in more meat that I couldn¡¯t fit on the table earlier. The soldiers go on about what they think about war, bringing the boys, Uncle, and Papa into it frequently. The topics change multiple times the more they drink, including various vulgar stories and jokes. Mama keeps a straight face but Aunt isn¡¯t so skilled at ignoring the more raunchy details. Still, she keeps quiet and tolerates everything with her hand squeezing Uncle¡¯s. I learned a few things about my cousins and brothers that I didn¡¯t think I¡¯d ever guess: Jr. and Sean frequently delve into conversations about fighting, Jr. also pays extremely close attention to the stories about women along with Ben, and Peter and Matt just sit uncomfortably with the occasional blush after a certain point. I don¡¯t blame Peter and Matt for their blushes since the latest jokes are particularly descriptive and involve gestures. There are quite a few words that I don¡¯t understand but what I figure out makes me regret reading that anatomy book.


    The point we all feared comes when Miranda is filling the mug of a soldier they called ¡®Terry¡¯ who slams his mug every time he finishes a gulp. When she takes the pitcher away from the mug he catches her arm. ¡°It can fit more than that! Fill it all the way.¡± The soldier next to him bursts out in laughter.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that what the whores tell you?¡± The rest of the soldiers join in with bellows.


    ¡°I doubt you ever do!¡± Another joins in and Terry glows red in anger, his hand still gripping Miranda¡¯s arm. She tries to take it back but that just makes him notice her.


    ¡°Don¡¯t listen to them,¡± he smirks at her and eyes her, ¡°my women only moan.¡± Uncle bangs his mug against the table like he was slamming it at Terry. Each man goes silent and Terry releases Miranda¡¯s hand with a jolt. As soon as Miranda gets away from Terry, Papa laughs as loud as he can.


    ¡°Gettin¡¯ too drunk to keep your arm up, huh? Joe, I thought you were a respectable big brother.¡± The silence returns to loud, mocking chaos and I switch places with Miranda, telling her she should go. She nods with red eyes and leaves through the back door, Aunt following just a step behind her.


    ¡°You sure have some pretty sisters here, boys,¡± I hear from the corner of the table. The one who spoke is the man who brags the most, Red. ¡°I bet you chase away a lot of rascals coming down to take a gander.¡± All of the boys are pretty drunk by now even though they haven''t had half as much as Aunt (mother doesn''t partake since she''s pregnant); our parents wouldn¡¯t let us refill their mugs until we were given permission to.


    ¡°What? You must be kidding!¡± Ben laughs. Red grins at him then eyes Eleanor and me.


    ¡°I¡¯m telling you,¡± he starts up again without breaking his line of sight, ¡°we have some promising young ladies in our midst.¡± Some of the other men hear what he says and stop their conversation. Papa invades the topic.


    ¡°Maybe in a few years we¡¯ll find out. Right now they¡¯re just sprouts.¡± Junior nods sleepily at Papa¡¯s words.


    ¡°They¡¯re not even worth a glance,¡± he speaks a little louder than normal and points at Red. ¡°The women in Bristow, they¡¯re the real beauties.¡± He has no idea how glad I am that he just insulted us. The way Red looked at us made my stomach turn. I try to forget it and refill someone¡¯s glass but notice him looking at me. I get a cold spark in my brain and hurry to fill the mug so I can go back to my spot on the wall behind Red, away from his line of sight.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know about that Junior, this one behind me is worth at least a couple glances. If she¡¯s just a sprout I can only imagine the full grown version.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t go there, man,¡± Sean warns, ¡°trust me, Feline¡¯s not even human!¡±


    ¡°Sean!¡± Papa barks. Sean sinks back into his seat with his drink, looking away. ¡°It¡¯s gotten late, gentlemen. I suggest we all get some sleep; if we don¡¯t stop now I don¡¯t think we¡¯ll get any rest before tomorrow.¡± The soldiers all mumble and nod in agreement, leaving their plates where they are and taking one last gulp. A couple of them pat the boys or Papa on the back with compliments about the beer, food, or the time they had before stumbling into the room we prepared. Papa sighs after closing the door and a somber expression now hangs from his face. ¡°Go to bed everyone.¡± He glances at Sean for a moment before motioning him to follow.


    ¡°You did a good job,¡± Mama hugs us as tightly as she can with a growing baby in the way. ¡°I¡¯ll clean up here. You two go to the barn.¡± We mutter thanks as she kisses us goodnight and I follow Eleanor to the back. Aunt is standing at the open door to the barn, keeping watch I suppose. She doesn¡¯t resemble an imposing figure in the least but somehow I wish that she would never leave that spot. Just as the thought enters my head she moves toward us in swift steps and arms held out.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡± She asks us as she holds onto the both of us, her long arms easily able to complete a huge hug.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine,¡± Eleanor responds.


    ¡°Me too,¡± I agree.


    ¡°Good,¡± she lets us go. ¡°I¡¯m sorry to say this but the night isn¡¯t over yet. Take turns watching over each other. Miranda¡¯s really shaken up, try to get her to sleep if you can.¡± Eleanor nods to her mother.If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    ¡°I¡¯ll make sure nothing happens,¡± I tell Aunt. Eleanor looks like she feels somewhat better but Aunt looks sad. I guess she doesn¡¯t want to rely on a twelve year old to protect a third of the family from a few drunken men, even if I am stronger than any normal man.


    ¡°I know,¡± she responds then kisses us both on our heads lovingly. ¡°Good night.¡± Eleanor and I hurry into the barn and close the door with a bag of grain leaning up against it. Between Heather and Ethan¡¯s stalls we see a cluster of young girls and one boy between 9 and 11 years old huddled against each other, covered in blankets. Miranda sits next to the warm lamp light that almost seems cold since it doesn¡¯t seem to give her any comfort; she sits on the ground staring at nothing.


    ¡°Miranda,¡± Eleanor calls out to her. She rushes over to us and hugs us like we just escaped certain death.


    ¡°Are you okay? Did they touch you too?¡± She whispers in a panic. I give her a second hug and speak to her in my most calming voice.


    ¡°We¡¯re fine, we are all going to be fine.¡± I let her out of my arms and look her right in the eye, ¡°I won¡¯t let them near you.¡± She calms down a bit and her tense face relaxes to a point that I can see the beginnings of a small smile.


    ¡°Okay,¡± is all she says before guiding us to the lantern she was sitting by before we came in.


    ¡°You should try to get some rest,¡± Eleanor tells her, ¡°Feline and I can stay up tonight.¡±


    ¡°Are you sure?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, we can keep each other awake. You should sleep.¡±


    ¡°Alright,¡± she must have been waiting for us to come before she allowed herself to relax. ¡°Good night,¡± she tells us.


    ¡°Good night,¡± we echo. She takes her blanket and lays up against the rest of our family. Eleanor and I spend the next hour or so playing written games in the dirt floor. When we were small she was the one who taught me words and how to write when Mama was busy. She and Miranda are only two years older than me and each just as much of a big sister to me as Abigail was. Eleanor and Abigail were also best friends before Abigail died last winter. I want to ask Eleanor if she misses her as much as I do but I can¡¯t pull the words out of my mouth. If I start talking about it then we¡¯ll both start crying and then there will be one of those really long, heavy silences. I¡¯d rather keep this silence, the kind that has a purpose rather than the one you wish you could break.


    I win my first game after several losses to my amazingly clever cousin but suddenly freeze when we both hear something pound against the door. It¡¯s not really that loud but nervousness means we both heard it like it was right next to us. The door suffers a second hit while Eleanor slips closer beside me. I can hear my blood being pushed through my veins and it¡¯s like the first time I was face to face with a mountain lion. I know that if one of the soldiers manages to get in then I¡¯ll definitely attack. What I need to do is to not hurt him, if I hurt him then the others will find out and then they¡¯ll go tell everyone, and I might be taken away or even killed out of fear. But what if I kill them? No, I can¡¯t do that. Well, I can; what I meant to say is that I shouldn¡¯t, but I could.


    While I¡¯m thinking a thousand things a bag of grain slides away along with the door opening. I didn¡¯t consider the possibility of someone being able to move it since I can¡¯t discern how much something weighs; most things are light to me. The lantern¡¯s glow catches Terry¡¯s figure. ¡°Leave, now!¡± I order him. Eleanor isn¡¯t beside me anymore and I hope she¡¯s with the others.


    ¡°Ah, it¡¯s the little one,¡± he walks closer. A second figure slides through the doorway and I see that it¡¯s one they called ¡®Jim¡¯. They¡¯re both twice my size and I wonder how I¡¯m going to work this out. I can¡¯t let either one of them past me. ¡°Oh, there¡¯s the second one too.¡±


    ¡°Get out of here,¡± Eleanor¡¯s voice comes from behind me. What does she think she¡¯s doing?!


    ¡°Come on, is this how you treat guests?¡± Red walks up behind Jim and smiles. I get a bitter taste in my mouth just from looking at them.


    ¡°I¡¯m warning you now, leave!¡± I shout, waking up some of the girls. I hear Miranda whispering to them, having them go into Ethan¡¯s stall. She¡¯s doing fine for someone so shaken up before and I¡¯m quite proud of her.


    ¡°That¡¯s the one that isn¡¯t human, right?¡± Jim laughs, ¡°boy, is she scary.¡± The others laugh too and walk closer without a trace of fear. They wouldn¡¯t normally be afraid considering the fact that they¡¯re three grown men facing two girls aged at fourteen and twelve. I take a quick look at Eleanor and find that she has an ax.


    ¡°I wonder why your own family said such mean things,¡± Red says to me. ¡°You poor girl.¡±


    ¡°Eleanor, give me the ax and go with the others,¡± I hold out my hand to her.


    ¡°You can¡¯t handle all three, Feline.¡±


    ¡°I can do far better than you!¡± I feel the handle slip into my hands and hear her running back to the stall.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t she the cutest little hero you¡¯ve ever seen?¡± Terry laughs. I take my one-handed stance and wait for one to come within range. Even though we have a big barn their pace isn¡¯t slow; Red approaches me from the front. I swing at him like I have a scythe, without losing my balance, the sound of the ax cutting through air is the only result. He saw me coming and backed up at the last second. Their faces reveal their surprise followed by anger. It looks like they¡¯re not about to be warded off by a little girl even if she has a weapon. The other two try to sneak around me but I catch them off guard by putting strength into my legs and reaching the one closest to the girls, Terry. Using my empty hand I grab him and throw him at Jim. They both fly into a stack of tools, breaking whatever''s in there. Red stares at me with wide eyes and mouth pulled back like he¡¯s about to shout. Before he gets the chance to, I throw my ax at him. I¡¯ve never thrown an ax before so instead of it cutting into him the dull end lands on his stomach and knocks him on his rear.


    All three men are still alive, judging by their groans. I¡¯d like to say that I don¡¯t know what to do but that¡¯d be a lie. If I was in the same setting but instead of defending against men, if they were animals, then I would kill them on the spot. They would find their way back here sooner or later or maybe even return the attack without holding back. ¡°They saw me,¡± I tell Miranda without looking away from the three men. They¡¯re already starting to get up, Jim looks like he¡¯s in pain.


    ¡°The fucking bitch threw me!¡± Terry screams.


    ¡°Shut the hell up! I think I got stabbed by something!¡± Jim returns the curses. Red is merely gasping for air with his hands against his gut. He picks up the ax and uses it to help himself to his feet.


    ¡°Not... human,¡± is all Red can force out.


    ¡°We gotta get rid of this thing,¡± Jim tells the others.


    ¡°Don¡¯t look,¡± is the only thing I can stand to say as a warning to the others. I¡¯m not worried about Jim or Terry anymore; the problem is that Red has my ax. The only real comfort is that at least they don¡¯t care about the other kids anymore. I take the initiative and leap straight at Red before he can compose himself. He has time to cross his arms and block me but the ax is pointed downwards. I ram into him and we fall back into wooden crates. He¡¯s stunned for a second but I don¡¯t pause. With both hands I punch him repeatedly. On the first strike I break bone, on the second I break the shaft of the ax; both times I hear a crack and feel the snap beneath my knuckles. In the next four punches I can feel the cracking of bones from his arms and chest. Each time I bring a fist back down on him blood splatters further. In only one more hit the force brings me to crash through his abdominal muscles and my hand sinks deep into the organs of his chest cavity. The inside is warm so when I pull my hand out there¡¯s a bit of steam as it moves through the chilled air. The light cast from the lantern gives the blood a vibrant color; like the inside of a berry. I only now realize that I don¡¯t know where the other two are.


    Before I can look for them something hits me on the side of the head. It doesn¡¯t hurt but stings my skin and my head jolts to the side. Twisting around from my position I find Terry and Jim with a shovel and a sledgehammer. As our eyes meet I see blatant terror and Terry takes another shot at my head. I wince at it and he begins to scream while swinging it at me again. I catch it with my blood soaked hand and rip it from his grasp. ¡°I warned you,¡± I mutter as I reposition the shovel to wield it and rise to my feet in one motion. ¡°You could have just left. You could have just gone to sleep and left in the morning.¡± Jim drops his sledgehammer and they both run for the door. I run after them, switch the shovel for the hammer, and narrowly catch them just as they are about to reach the door. I swing the hammer into Jim¡¯s side and hear the crack of his bones. Jumping after Terry, I throw the hammer at his legs and he starts screaming for help. He can¡¯t move with my monumental weight over him. I need to stop his screaming so I hold him down, crawl to his head, and grab onto his thick neck with my small hands. I¡¯m able to keep him in place but I can¡¯t grasp his neck so I crush his throat with my fist, over and over until he stops twitching.


    ¡°Feline?¡± I hear from the other side of the barn.


    ¡°Don¡¯t come out yet!¡± I scream. With two dead I just need to kill the third. Not far off from my left I see the barely visible outline of Jim¡¯s body. He¡¯s not moving but I approach him anyway; he¡¯s not breathing either but just to make sure I break his neck in the same manner as before.


    ¡°Feline.¡± A small sound from where the others are makes me yell out again.


    ¡°I said not to come out yet!¡± Standing back up and turning to where Ethan¡¯s stall is, I hold my breath. Eleanor and Miranda are staring at me, I¡¯m not sure who they¡¯re afraid of anymore. I don¡¯t get an obvious clue or have the time to ask. The front barn door slams open and people burst. The first one they notice is Terry yet what worries me is that the screams of men are drowned out by the screams of my mother.

 Chapter 3: This is What My Family is Really Like

    Mama¡¯s high pitched screams are immediately quelled by Papa. I begin to shake, realizing what I had just done. They may have acted like monsters but this soaking mass of flesh lying still next to me was once a living man. This blood on my face, dripping from my hair, painting my hands; this blood belongs inside three human bodies; this blood supported three lives. Sean said that I wasn¡¯t human and he¡¯s right. I can¡¯t get any air. It won¡¯t go in. Is it because I took their blood that I can¡¯t have air? The only thing I can stand to see is the straw beneath my feet. Even that is tainted by the slowly growing pool of hot, red liquid leaving Jim.


    A blast of cold air burns inside of me with a gasp. Through a veil of water blurring my vision Uncle stands above me with an empty bucket. I wipe the water from my face as Papa covers me with a blanket and holds onto me from the side. ¡°You¡¯re okay, you¡¯re okay,¡± he puts my hands down and wipes my face with a rag. His words pull the tears from my bleary eyes. It¡¯s over, I have nothing else to do with it. My breath staggers again and I get scared of suffocation. ¡°It¡¯s gonna be alright, Feline, you¡¯re safe. Everyone is safe, you protected them.¡± Papa dips the rag into a full bucket of water. He pulls out my hands and I see that the blood is still wet. My hands shake again but he takes them in his to wash them for me. I notice his warmth and my breathing steadies. Since I¡¯m calming down I notice the thick smell surrounding us, like we killed every pig we owned.


    ¡°Papa,¡± I can¡¯t control my voice, ¡°what happened?¡±


    ¡°You protected your sisters and cousins, just like we told you to.¡±


    ¡°Not that,¡± I clarify, ¡°after Mama stopped screaming.¡±


    ¡°So you heard that,¡± he finishes cleaning my hands and rinses the rag out to wipe my hair. ¡°She was just surprised; she took the others to the house with your aunt. Your Uncle¡¯s dealing with the other two soldiers. The boys are waiting for us outside the barn. Do you think you can stand?¡± I lean to the side and pick myself up. Nothing hurts much but my muscles are tense. I remember how much strength I used to cause this strange soreness. The images that come to mind make my face contort with more tears. I don''t want to be a monster. Papa keeps his arm around me even though he knows that if I were to fall he¡¯d be injured.


    ¡°Is Uncle going to -¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about that. You leave everything to us and forget this ever happened.¡± The last few words were more like an order than an attempt to comfort. I keep my head down while he leads me out of the barn. The light of dawn gives me no warmth due to the silence surrounding the boys. Even when the seven of us gather through the wet, early spring grass the only indicator of the five of them is the swish of their feet. I¡¯m too afraid to look for their expressions and keep my eyes to the ground. Over the last twelve years they were all gentle leaders; now they feel like persecutors glaring at me from the background. It¡¯s probably all in my head. Sean was only joking last night, I¡¯m not a monster. Even humans must do terrible things to protect their loved ones, right?


    ¡°Feline.¡±


    Mama¡¯s urgent voice calls me out from my thoughts. She looks so tired. In her hands are clothes, a towel, and some soap.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go clean up.¡± Her voice is as kind as when any of the children are injured. I wonder if fear counts as an injury. She brings out her hand to take mine. I reach out at first but I use the hand that first sank into Red¡¯s chest. Quickly, I take it back. ¡°Feline?¡±


    ¡°Sorry,¡± I don¡¯t want her to think that I don¡¯t want to hold her hand. My head hangs low again, afraid to look at her. ¡°I don¡¯t want to get you dirty,¡± is the first thing I can think of. It¡¯s true in a way.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay,¡± she speaks softly, ¡°I don¡¯t mind.¡± She comes closer and takes my hand for herself. ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡± Slowly, I follow her to the back of the barn where the well is. She takes the blanket from around my shoulders and I can see the blood that dyes my clothes rather than staining it. Mama doesn¡¯t pause or hold her breath like I do; she moves as gently as she speaks, ¡°let me help you.¡± Together we peel away the garments sticking to my body. The skin revealed is mottled with light red smears over every inch. I stand by the well naked while Mama brings up the water. We each use a rag to scrub off the sticky residue and Mama uses soap in my hair before we lather it around the rest of me. I can¡¯t smell anything other than the wax soap anymore and even the underside of my nails are freshly cleaned. She gives me a towel to dry myself off while she brings over the fresh clothes. Once I¡¯m in them a renewed Mama smiles at me and it almost feels like I¡¯m the same girl I was just a day ago.Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.


    ~~~~~~~~~~


    Papa and Uncle cleaned up the barn and buried the remains. In order to prevent suspicions Papa and the boys went to the city, claiming that they only heard about the war recently and came as soon as they were prepared. Papa came back by himself since a new policy made it so any farms would have at least one man of proper age for harvest. The goal is to not destroy the agriculture market while the army takes all the food it needs from said farmers. I¡¯m not sure how much good only one man under 40 could do when we lost five others but I¡¯m glad Papa is home. I take care of the most taxing duties while the younger kids pick up the slack; our whole chore system is reworked and it takes a while to get used to it. We get to the point when no one has a second to spare, but even without using Ethan (who¡¯s still too young to be a workhorse) we manage extremely well.


    Over the next year no one brings up the night I killed three men with my bare hands and I¡¯m not going to change that. A few of my cousins who were there don¡¯t talk to me that much anymore. Mama tells me that they were surprised and don¡¯t understand that I¡¯m the same as I was before that night. She tells me to keep being myself and it¡¯ll all be fine. One day the situation changes drastically. I assume that a major discussion happened while I was in the fields because a couple of the girls came up to hug me with teary apologies as soon as I returned. I have no idea about what was said because the only words I could hear from them was just ¡®sorry¡¯ repeated a few hundred times.


    ~~~~~~~~~~


    ¡°¡°Happy Birthday!¡±¡±


    It¡¯s mid-winter and also the birthday of our family¡¯s first set of twins, Eleanor and Miranda. They¡¯re fifteen and so their mother and mine will be teaching them all they need to know about marriage, wifedom, and motherhood. When they¡¯re eighteen they¡¯ll use that training to go to the Maiden Festival in Bristow, find suitors, and eventually leave the family to join another.


    ¡°Ursula!¡± Uncle calls out from his family¡¯s room.


    ¡°Yes?¡± Aunt maneuvers between children to reach him, closing the door behind her. A few minutes later we all hear high pitched screaming. I immediately tense up as well as the rest of the girls but the screams soon turn into cheers and laughter. Uncle tries to calm her down and we hear giggles and ¡°sorry,¡± from behind the door. Uncle comes out trying to look dignified and pretending that Aunt didn¡¯t act like a child only a moment ago.


    ¡°Eleanor, Miranda,¡± he begins as a more calm version of Aunt comes out to stand behind him. ¡°With how well the family has been doing I had decided to save up for a very special gift. No one in the history of our family has ever been fortunate enough to get such an honor.¡± He pauses for dramatic effect and the edges of his mouth turn up. Aunt is visibly holding herself back with her lips turning inward and tense fingers wrapping around her other hand. ¡°In your eighteenth year we can afford you both to be part of the ¡®Ladies¡¯ group in the Maiden Festival.¡± Aunt shouts her congratulations and squeezes the girls tightly in her long arms. Mama copies the actions, although not as violently enthusiastic. ¡°Make sure to study hard,¡± Uncle finishes.


    ¡°Thank you very much Daddy,¡± Eleanor responds, ¡°but what does the Ladies group do that is different?¡±


    ¡°They get to meet with high class bachelors and stay in the Bristow Castle during the Festival.¡± Aunt¡¯s eyes shoot upwards like she¡¯s having a daydream.


    ¡°Those are the two most widely known benefits but there¡¯s more to it than that,¡± Mama adds.¡±There¡¯s a council that pairs you up with the most fitting candidates depending on personality and interests.


    ¡°That¡¯s right! You came from a high class family, didn¡¯t you Adelaide?¡± Aunt casually blurts out. She, Uncle, and Papa may only recall this piece of information but none of us children had ever heard of such a thing.


    ¡°What?!¡± Elizabeth shouts, my ten year old sister has lately been in love with the idea of prestige and the upper class.


    ¡°Hahaha, where did you think I learned all those stories I told you? Many of those are based on fact.¡± Mama¡¯s enjoying our confusion. How could we not be shocked? We live in a four room house with almost 30 people altogether, 13 before I was born. When I was little Papa and Uncle were the only ones who worked the farm. We didn¡¯t have any hogs, chickens, or even our one mule. Our crop fields were a quarter of what they are now and I can¡¯t imagine there being as much revenue as we get each year. They¡¯re saying that a high class, privileged, young lady married into almost certain poverty. Luckily, we¡¯re not in poverty even though the house is still only four (very large) rooms, but still!


    ¡°How did you end up marrying Papa?¡± I can¡¯t help but to ask such a pestering question. Mama only smiles at us but it doesn¡¯t reach her eyes.


    ¡°Because I love him,¡± her voice is soft while she links her arm into Papa¡¯s like she¡¯s telling the truth but her sorrowful eyes tell me that there¡¯s more to the story than that.


    ¡°My previous social title is in the past,¡± she avoids the topic like it doesn¡¯t matter. ¡°Now is the time where Eleanor and Miranda work towards their future.¡± Everyone''s smiles grow excitedly.


    ¡°That¡¯s right,¡± Aunt joins her, ¡°you two have my blood and the combined knowledge of myself and Adelaide. From tomorrow until the Maiden Festival we¡¯ll teach you all we know about being a woman.¡±


    ¡°I look forward to it,¡± Eleanor¡¯s mouth spreads a confident grin with a voice as strong as ever, no hesitation.


    ¡°Yes, Mommy,¡± Miranda isn¡¯t as energetic as her instructors and not as sure as Eleanor.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, Miranda.¡± Aunt takes her hands, ¡°you¡¯ll learn much more than how to make a man like you. Defending against unwanted attention is necessary for every woman as well.¡± Miranda relaxes a bit and nods. I¡¯m sure both Eleanor and Miranda will find great husbands in the future. Eleanor is the type to leave us in awe while Miranda is the type you want to protect but also strongly supports you. I catch Papa¡¯s unsure glimpse at me and I wonder if I can follow Mama¡¯s dreams of me having a family. I have no doubts about my twin cousins but plenty of doubts about myself.

 Chapter 4: I Cant Decide What Hurts More

    I¡¯ve been training for marriage with Mama and Aunt for three years now and I have absolutely no hope. A wave of dirt splashes up around me as I dig for a new outhouse. My strength has grown a lot, more than twice since I was twelve. Mama does well teaching me graceful movements to help me get some control but sometimes I get distracted and things end up broken. Eleanor and Miranda were married off within a year of the Maiden Festival and I can¡¯t help but feel bad for giving my parents any kind of hope.The shovel handle splinters in half and I realize that I dug the shovel head into a large stone. This was the second to last shovel in the barn; at this rate I might have to use a spoon from the kitchen. I haven¡¯t been around the house except to sleep or receive lessons on lady-like behaviors so the kids think I¡¯m mean since I don¡¯t play with them anymore. In reality, I don¡¯t stay around my little cousins and siblings because I¡¯m afraid of hurting them. This increase in strength has had me stressed out for a while now and Papa worries; this frustrates me even more since I do as much work as I can to let him relax.


    ¡°How¡¯s it going, Feline?¡± He comes out of nowhere using that soft tone he adopted from Mama. The downward inflection at the end means he wants to comfort me but I¡¯ve identified that long ago. I do admit, knowing that someone wants to comfort me is comforting enough.


    ¡°I broke it,¡± I toss the two lengths of wood through the opening of the hole. Annoyingly, they fly upwards quite the distance before plummeting toward the ground and out of my sight. Mama tells me to focus on breathing when I get upset but this constant underestimation of my own strength is leaving me with more exasperated sighs than deep breathing exercises.


    ¡°I can see that,¡± is what I hear with my eyes closed. Suddenly there¡¯s a voice in the distance. I look to Papa for an explanation. ¡°We have visitors,¡± he tells me with a glare focused outward. ¡°Stay here for a while; you¡¯re in no state to welcome strangers.¡± I nod and sit myself at the bottom of the pit. Even if I was standing I wouldn¡¯t be seen, but this might take a while. There is one voice that stands out through all the others. It¡¯s mildly uplifted like a friend of the family over for a visit. It doesn¡¯t sound like the neighbor that comes over every so often; it¡¯s male so it can¡¯t be Eleanor or Miranda; I don¡¯t know who else it may be except for someone from their families, newly befriended. He¡¯s quite loud, though, like he wants the whole mountain to hear even though I can¡¯t understand what he¡¯s saying from this distance. The tone turns cold in an instant and I get suspicious. Not long after the voice turns harsh I hear Papa yelling. Although he¡¯s nowhere near as loud as the other voice I can tell that Papa is enraged. I¡¯ve only heard it once before and it was directed at a representative of the Royal Army, who I later learned wanted more rations than dictated by official law.


    I keep my hearing trained on their voices with eyes closed so I can try to figure out what¡¯s going on. Things aren¡¯t getting better and I get the sense they¡¯re around the front of the house. Still, Papa told me to stay here. I¡¯m sure he and Uncle can handle anything too troublesome so I¡¯ll wait for now.


    There are a few grunts and yells from several people. Aunt is yelling too and it¡¯s getting harder to hold myself back. Rising to my feet I lean against the cold earth wall, trying to get any sort of indication as to what¡¯s going on with strained ears. Some of the shouts stop and Aunt screams.


    There¡¯s a click from somewhere in my head and at that point nothing else matters. I need to protect them. I jump out from the pit and the ground trembles as I land. Every bit of my strength is used to run to them but I¡¯m not fast enough for myself. In a split second I incorporate Mama¡¯s lessons to dance. Each step bends down and I flick myself forward on my toes. I emerge from behind the house and stomp down to a stop. Dirt and dust clouds my vision but I know exactly where everyone is. The problem is that I can¡¯t completely tell who everyone is. There is this feeling of an unknown entity, a vibration in the air, and I leap that way. My arms are outstretched to catch the intruder only to drill through the ground like a comet.


    I¡¯m unharmed and quickly rise to my feet. There¡¯s plenty of dust in the air again so I slowly follow my path of destruction. It would be dumb to rush in again when they already know I¡¯m here; I should plan something out but I can¡¯t even see where I¡¯m going. The dug-out path leads me to a group of soldiers coughing wildly. I rush past them so I can find out where my family went. Not long into my search the soldiers calm down and many are silently making way for me. I like this much better than an outright attack, especially since there¡¯s more of them than I can count. Soon I see Papa¡¯s body sprawled out on the ground and I run to him, as gently as I can. I use as little strength as possible and turn him over to look at him. He opens his eyes and tries to talk but his jaw is limp. After his effort the pain shows in his eyes and I lay him on his back with great care.


    Every muscle in my body is tense as I cannot afford to slip up and lose control of my strength. Papa breathes shallowly while on his back and I panic while glancing over his body, broken ribs. If he¡¯s not treated then it¡¯ll puncture his lung and he¡¯ll die. I do my best to follow instructions from a book he brought me a couple of years ago. His face shows the intense pain, it hurts me to continue but I do what I can. His jaw is set and I took care of making sure his ribs won¡¯t move.


    ¡°Feline.¡± Mama¡¯s voice slips through my worry for Papa. Following the direction it came from I see Mama looking through the front door, gesturing for me to go inside. Uncle is wheezing nearby, though, and I need to take him and Papa inside too. I nod to Mama when, behind me, I feel that vibration in the air like before.


    ¡°Turn around, slowly,¡± the previously unknown voice appears with that strange presence. I push off with one foot and spin on my other to spring at him. Within half a moment he¡¯s gone and I fall into water. The odd thing is that there¡¯s no source of water around except for the well several yards away. Through the water is a distorted scene of where I was just a second ago. My pulse beats through my limbs and it¡¯s the first time I¡¯ve felt fear for myself since I was nine. I hold my breath tight in my chest and try to get some footing. The water begins to sting and I have to close my eyes. The pain is light at first but progressively grows more intense.


    ¡°Feline!¡± Through the liquid I hear Mama screaming for me. I can¡¯t keep my eyes open long enough to see what¡¯s happening and my chest burns; the pain in my chest is not only a yearning for air but also to get to Mama. Whoever beat up Papa and Uncle is still out there.


    ¡°Adelaide, no!¡± Aunt screams at Mama and I also want to tell her to get back, to find safety. Mama¡¯s shouts come closer and soon followed by a scream. I open my eyes and my body becomes tense through the sudden bolt of pain. Through the burning blindness growing in my vision I see Mama on the ground; I can hear her crying and calling out my name. With everything I have I struggle from within the acidic liquid to get to her. Every muscle in me lashes out to reach her somehow. My vision is gone and the blurred image of her feeble hand reaching out to help me is the last thing in my mind. I release my breath, not in exhaustion but in anger and pain.A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    The fizzing sensation in my skin intensifies and my eyes burn like flaming coals were shoved in. My throat is torn apart through my screams and I can feel everything inside of me explode and break. There is nothing in my mind but pain, Mama¡¯s voice of pain, Mama¡¯s body in pain, Mama is in pain because of me. I have to protect her. I don¡¯t even think of breathing, just moving. Tiny bursts and spasms envelop every inch of my body. Inside of me deep heat rumbles around with what feels like large stones. Everything swirls and throws me about like a vortex within that strange liquid until I¡¯m thrown out. Even though I¡¯m crawling to my arms and knees on the ground the throbbing doesn¡¯t stop. My head has such pressure in it I think it might burst out of my skull at any moment. Instead, the pressure spreads throughout my body and collects at my chest. The whole time I¡¯m seizing every muscle, pounding my fists into the ground with every pulse. Mama, I need to help Mama, save Mama, she¡¯s hurt.


    In mere seconds the pain in my body subsides and I gasp for air. No sooner than I realize that I¡¯m in a giant glistening hole I¡¯m surrounded by the burning water again. I tense up reactively and not long after the sizzling is gone. My sight is still clear even though I closed my eyes. When I try to open them a searing cold burns them so I close my eyelids again. I stand within the water and look up to find the stranger watching me from outside the crater. Mama isn¡¯t here so I leap above the edge and fall past him. The ground doesn¡¯t resist me and cracks open as I land. Mama is a little far away and I dash with as much grace as I can muster, hoping I don¡¯t disturb her with my weight.


    As I reach out to lift her I catch sight of something bright red at the edge of my vision. Shifting my attention to it I realize that it¡¯s my hand. I fall back with a deep rumble and see that my whole body is made up of it. Trembling limbs reveal a red and black mixture of shifting light beneath smooth, hard, and transparent skin. All of me is the same as this fearsome image. I can¡¯t breathe but I don¡¯t even feel the need to. Forcing my eyes to leave the terrifying sight, I look at Mama''s figure crawling away from the corner of my eye.


    ¡°Mama,¡± I whisper with a broken voice. She doesn¡¯t say a word. It¡¯s impossible to speak when your breath stutters in fear like that. ¡°Mama, it¡¯s me,¡± I can hardly believe it myself. I¡¯m scared too.


    ¡°Feline,¡± she barely gets out.


    ¡°Yes, Mama,¡± something warm like tears fall from my eyes. When I go to wipe them away I see that it¡¯s the same mixture as what¡¯s within me. I think I¡¯ve read of something like this before, maybe in my atlas. Some of the surrounding islands have volcanoes and are filled with magma which can explode from the mountain-like volcano. It¡¯s called lava as it spreads to the outside world and burns everything it touches.


    ¡°Feline,¡± Mama repeats and I look to her again. She seems to have calmed down a bit but is still very hesitant to get up. I¡¯m not sure if I should move and so I sit still while brushing the long white hair out of my face. The way I am right now I don¡¯t want to get too close to anyone, especially Mama. She seems unharmed, only startled; I feel much better after seeing her move without visible pain. The sense I get from the stranger shifts my attention away.


    ¡°Mama, he¡¯s coming,¡± I warn her. ¡°Please, go inside,¡± I ask without looking away from the man approaching. I intercept a stream of water as it¡¯s half way between him and Mama. The liquid doesn¡¯t burn at all and I can only feel the strength growing. The water stops when I hear the door close. After it stops there follows rumbling beneath the ground and the stagnant crowd of soldiers are blown into the air by giant spouts of water emerging from beneath their feet.


    I dash towards Papa and gather him up before I lift Uncle over my shoulder and carry them to safety. When I sit them down I realize that I touched them without thinking and check for burns. The areas I touched are red but not burnt off like I was worried about. A sigh of relief passes through my mouth, causing the rest of me to loosen up a little. Papa watches me wordlessly and I wonder what he¡¯s thinking. Some of the magma from my body drips through the solid coating around myself and I tense up to contain it.


    ¡°You¡¯ll come with me,¡± the stranger¡¯s voice replaces my relief with alert anxiety twice over. I rise to my feet and steady myself for anything he might do.


    ¡°Please, leave us alone,¡± the words don¡¯t fit my strong tone and he laughs at me.


    ¡°If you don''t, these people will be in danger. I see you care about them but you can¡¯t stay here. Look at them, you tried to save them and damaged them in the process,¡± he holds back a grin. ¡°That woman was scared shitless of you too; if that¡¯s how your mother acts how do you think the others will?¡± He has a point about how I burned them but I don¡¯t blame Mama for being scared.


    ¡°It¡¯s not her fault, I¡¯m scared too. But she calmed down when she realized it was me.¡± I can only defend Mama. The rest of the family might not be so understanding as Mama and Papa will be; they¡¯ll always love me.


    ¡°She ran to safety and left you here when I came.¡±


    ¡°I told her to.¡±


    ¡°Should the child really be protecting the parent?¡±


    ¡°If I can then I will.¡± The door clicked open and Mama stepped out. Her back was straight but her face revealed worry. I want to tell her to go back in but I don¡¯t get the chance.


    ¡°Calm down, Feline,¡± with her few, simple words my heart tears to pieces. Mama¡¯s gaze shows that it was an order. She approaches me and I can now see how small she is; rather, how much I had grown since a few minutes ago. I¡¯m now much taller than her and probably almost 2m in height. Mama looks up at me and takes my hand. I can see her skin turning red and slip my hand back immediately. ¡°See?¡± she whispers. ¡°He¡¯s right. It should be me protecting you. For a long time I thought I was protecting you by teaching you to pretend to be normal. Now I realize that it¡¯s impossible and it would have been better if I had never tried.¡±


    Shifting from the ground nearby, Papa tries to sit. Mama goes to him and holds his hand, whispering to him that it¡¯ll be okay. She lets him look at me and I worry about what he¡¯s thinking. His eyes are steady and regardless of his unhealed jaw he smiles at me.


    ¡°Fredrick, you know it¡¯s going to be hard for her here, don¡¯t you.¡± He nods at Mama¡¯s words with downcast eyes and tries to speak but I can¡¯t let him.


    ¡°Stop Papa!¡± I shout at him and bend down to his body, ¡°Your jaw isn¡¯t healed and you have some broken ribs.¡± He raises a hand and touches some of the white hair that has fallen in front of my face. I pull it back behind my ear and he lets his hand down again. ¡°You need a doctor or the ribs may puncture a lung.¡± Papa smiles again.


    ¡°He¡¯s so proud of you, Feline,¡± Mama tells me. ¡°You¡¯re smart, kind, and you love us more than anything.¡± Mama stands and watches the stranger. ¡°What kind of place will you take her? Will she be safe and happy?¡±


    ¡°Mama! How can you be serious about sending me off with some crazy stranger?! He killed all those soldiers without a thought and you trust him?!¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t promise happiness,¡± he ignores me and speaks to Mama with an amused grin, ¡°but I can tell you that it¡¯s a safe place for our kind,¡±


    ¡°You are like her?¡± Mama asks, suspicious.


    In a split moment his body changes into water beneath his clothes, standing just as before. ¡°Satisfied? Now, can you finish this up? I do enjoy a good drama but it¡¯s better not to let this go on for too long. I was thinking of leaving you alive since I don¡¯t suppose you¡¯d spread anything. However, if you ask any more questions I may change my mind.¡± I hate his voice, he¡¯s enjoying himself in this situation, playing the bad guy like it¡¯s a game.


    ¡°If you want me gone so badly then I¡¯ll go,¡± I can¡¯t stand to look at them and bolt off in the other direction. If he wants me then he¡¯ll have to catch me. I slip away from the lot of them in an instant. Within a few seconds I¡¯m already past the second plot of crops and heading straight for the mountains. I think I¡¯m clear of the stranger when I get into the forest. Only a few steps in and I¡¯m suddenly wrapped in soil swirling around me without pause. I try to break through but the way it moves is like water. Attempting to find solid ground is impossible and forcing my way out won¡¯t work so I calm myself down and wait to see what happens. I have to be prepared.

 Chapter 5: Chaos Down to My Core

    Even though I try to calm myself down there¡¯s nothing that really changes except for closing my eyes. There¡¯s no difference since I¡¯m surrounded by dark dirt in the first place. Also, there¡¯s the fact that when I tried to close my eyes before I could still see through them. Instinctively I take a breath to try and control my fear. The act may not get me any air but it does get me a large amount of dirt in my mouth. I try to cough it out but breathing back in brings it back down. Surprisingly, it doesn¡¯t feel wrong in any way and it¡¯s almost like I¡¯m swallowing a huge gulp of refreshing water. Once I close my mouth again the dirt that I ate no longer swirls about but spreads throughout my body. Immediately after I swallow it the dirt around me stops like frozen. Now, I¡¯m sitting inside a sphere lit by my own body, there¡¯s vibration coming from the outside and I think that the dirt out there is still moving around. It can¡¯t be a coincidence that once I accidentally swallow some dirt the rest of it moves away; someone is controlling it, like that stranger controlling water. My fingers are shaking but I¡¯m able to think clearer, if only just a little.


    Since there¡¯s a floor now there¡¯s a possibility that I can break it. Although, if I break it then loose dirt will fill up the area. I could repeat the process until it¡¯s gone but it could go on forever depending on how much there is. Just the idea of going on like this forever spreads the strange shaking to the rest of my limbs. I don¡¯t like it, I don¡¯t like it, I don¡¯t like it, I don¡¯t like it. Why am I shaking? Flashes of those three soldiers in the barn appear. A pool of blood crawls around my feet and my hands are quivering much worse than a second ago. The barn disappears and I find myself glowing in the brown sphere again but the blood still covers my hands. This has happened before; Mama taught me how to stop it. I clench my hands and look away, whispering, ¡°it¡¯s not my fault, I am fine,¡± over and over again while breathing.


    There¡¯s only a flash of darkness before I see light again. At this point I remember seeing a hand shoot into the sphere and hitting me. Judging from the sudden change in scenery, it must have knocked me out. Now I find myself in a huge cave big enough to envelop a mountain. The whole place is lit up by a sun-like orb held in the ceiling and a huge lake of magma. Masses of white crystals are embedded in the walls, glistening in the light the fire gives off when it flickers on top of the lake. The ground is soft, rich, soil covered in black vines that stop just short of the rising tide. Somehow I feel that I should be here, that I belong in this place. It would make sense on account of my current body of magma and clear, crystal skin.


    ¡°Welcome,¡± a smooth, light, male voice echoes from behind me. Only a few paces away, I see a human shaped, metal statue standing partly out of the wall. ¡°I¡¯m so glad I get to meet you.¡± Contrary to his giant, muscular, silver, and cold looking figure he has kind eyes and a warm smile. There¡¯s something about the person that feels very comforting. Of course I¡¯m wary, since I just had a fight with a man made of water, but there¡¯s something in me that knows he¡¯s not a threat.


    ¡°Who are you?¡± I¡¯ve never seen anything like him and yet it feels like I¡¯ve known him all my life.


    ¡°You have known me all your life. I gave you my soul before you were born. My name is Xavier Aalders.¡±


    ¡°You gave me your soul before I was born? How exactly does that happen?¡± He may be familiar to me but what he¡¯s saying is wildly outlandish.


    ¡°When you were still within your mother, she treated me kindly. I was about to die anyway so I gave up my soul as a gift in thanks. This does sound strange, I know, but you recently turned into sentient nature; are you sure it¡¯s such a strange concept in comparison?¡± He¡¯s right about that, even though both things make no sense - one did happen, how can I question the other? ¡°Since you¡¯re still suspicious, consider your strength. Your strength is a portion of the power I once held. Actually, you surpassed me a little while ago. It¡¯s why you began absorbing me and transformed. That time you wondered if you were a monster wasn¡¯t completely false since other races consider us monsters; even if it¡¯s untrue.¡±


    ¡°You know my thoughts?¡±


    ¡°I have been with you for eighteen years, living and learning along with you, a part of you. What you have experienced is what I also experienced, up until today. Today, I experienced the creation of this place. This is your core, the area where your soul resides. When you transformed it appeared and began absorbing me. If you take a look at my feet you can see.¡± Following his line of sight I see the dark soil climbing up his legs. It¡¯s moving slowly, but visibly.


    ¡°Oh. So, how do we stop it?¡± I doubt this is a good thing for him, even if he¡¯s so nonchalant about it. He chuckles and shakes his head.


    ¡°It¡¯s certainly unexpected but I don¡¯t consider it a bad thing. I resigned myself to pass on along with you anyway. Even though this is my definite end and much sooner than I expected, I¡¯m glad.¡± His smile broadens and reaches his blank, silver eyes.


    ¡°How is being unable to pass on something that makes you glad?¡± All life gets to pass on to a better place; except what he¡¯s talking about doesn¡¯t include that at all. He¡¯s there then gone the next, like he never existed but only in memory.


    ¡°It¡¯s just death, Feline. I died once, dying a second time probably won¡¯t be any different, maybe easier. Technically, I suppose that I won¡¯t be me anymore but I¡¯ll be you; you will be you and I will be you, or maybe something close.¡± Xavier jerked his arm out of the diamond lined wall and itched his jaw as he looked up to the sun in the ceiling like there¡¯s some clue. ¡°I don¡¯t really know, I¡¯ve never been on this end. To tell you the truth it¡¯s illegal - no one¡¯s even allowed to know how to transfer and merge souls anymore.¡±


    ¡°Why would you do it then?¡± This man may have a few answers but they¡¯re vague and insane. Although, it¡¯s really interesting. It reminds me of the interaction between ants and trees. Ants live within the tree and help it defend against certain harm.


    ¡°Ah! That¡¯s an interesting way of putting it! You always manage to surprise me. Anyway, that¡¯s how it used to be. Now, it¡¯d be like saying the ants die and the tree uses the corpses to turn itself into ants.¡±


    ¡°Not quite right, then,¡± I muse, then realize he read my thoughts again.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    ¡°Well, normally, it would be ants in a tree but you made that transition into something else.¡±


    ¡°We got off topic,¡± I glance at his legs and the soil reached his knees, ¡°why did you give me your soul if it¡¯s illegal?¡± He paused at my question and it seemed like it was difficult for him to answer.


    ¡°The best way I can explain it is that I¡¯m extremely old, well over a thousand years. When I was young, I was taught to be the one person in our village who could do this for the people of earth element. The reason it became a practice is so a large amount of power could be inherited if the strongest member was killed. The most wise, who I learned from, knew how to capture a soul and would be able to implant it to an infant or unborn child, a successor. This way, once the child had grown to an appropriate age, there would still be someone who could protect the people. They would be able to get stronger as well, starting out with that same strength and gaining more little by little.¡±


    ¡°So why is it illegal?¡±


    ¡°Over the next few hundred years a handful of successors had gotten it in their heads that they wanted to take rulership over our race. At the time, we were tribes governed by the wisest rather than the strongest. These rogue successors wanted the others to join them and lead as a group. At the time I was actually a successor of power as well as a successor of wisdom.¡± He pauses and I think he wants praise.


    ¡°How lucky,¡± it was actually luck rather than anything else since he had to be chosen as an infant to get the soul. It¡¯s not like an infant is able to earn it.


    ¡°I suppose so,¡± he¡¯s disappointed at my response and sighs like he knew it all along. ¡°Being a successor in power is truly a lucky thing. Although, keep in mind that wisdom can only be attained through work and experience.¡± His authoritative tone surprises me.


    ¡°Sorry, you¡¯re right,¡± I remember that learning to control strength and studying under a teacher at the same time is certainly very difficult.


    ¡°You have potential for both,¡± his voice becomes softer again. ¡°You trained to control the strength rivaling a naturally born earth elemental while studying all those books. For you it may have been out of sheer interest and fun but it was still work. I¡¯m quite proud of finding such an intelligent successor. Even if you did grow naive from isolation you were still able to remain yourself after certain traumatizing events.¡± His soft kindness changes as his eyes show sadness. ¡°AND,¡± before I can linger on my memories he continues with a shout, ¡°before long those successors had already taken control of all the tribes, united them, and killed anyone who knew the process of creating successors. I hid for a few several hundred years and after being caught I resisted death with all I had, enough to escape into the sea with a mortal wound to my core.¡±


    He holds his finger up like I should keep notes, ¡°If humans have certain organs as weaknesses then I have to say that elementals only have one, the core. It¡¯s a physical part of our bodies and the only thing that can cause unnatural death. As long as you protect your core then even if all the earth from your body is taken away your core can still build you a new body from new material in time. Depending on the circumstances it may take years but it will still happen.¡± I nod and he continues, ¡°I was able to control enough silver to follow the current and ended up in your country. While hoping I could still escape the other successors I dragged myself onto land and somehow kept going until I met your parents, who tried to heal me. The short reason why I broke the taboo is because I wanted to.¡±


    ¡°...¡± I¡¯m at a loss. He said that much just to answer with something so simple.


    ¡°I elaborated into the background since I¡¯m sure you wouldn¡¯t be satisfied with such a vague answer. It¡¯s also important to know the history of your lineage.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯re right,¡± and then I realize he mentioned lineage. ¡°What do you mean by ¡®lineage¡¯, isn¡¯t that by blood?¡±


    ¡°In our race successors have their birth parents and a third who they got the power from. You have your birth father, Fredrick, and you have your ¡®power¡¯ father, me.¡±


    Thinking of Papa makes me remember how I left them and I¡¯m disappointed in myself for acting so childish.


    ¡°You made the right decision,¡± Xavier breaks me out of my self-loathing. I¡¯m at a loss and wait for him to explain. ¡°Even though it was the right decision there was no chance for that plan to succeed. You¡¯ve already been captured and you¡¯re able to speak with me because you were knocked out. Believe me, that man is dangerous. He knows that you were a human successor, now a full elemental. It¡¯s why he tried to kill you. Another elemental captured you and probably someone who travels with him. This earth elemental doesn¡¯t have the same abilities as you but is still very strong. It¡¯s best if you find a way to escape but I¡¯m not sure how. Just know that the danger grows when someone learns that you were originally human.¡± He notices that the soil has reached his waist. ¡°I need you to listen, no questions. You¡¯re absorbing me faster than before and you need to know this.¡±


    He¡¯s the only one who may ever be truthful to me from now on so I listen intently. ¡°You are not a normal successor, you began as a human. All elementals have a point at which they can¡¯t grow stronger and live for maybe a century after that before their core is unable to control elements, leading to an immediate and natural death. Successors can grow to the point that they transform into beings that live until unnatural death but still stop growing in strength at some point. The problem is, as far as I can tell, humans are always changing; always growing until they begin to decay leading up to natural death. Because of your origin I don¡¯t know if you¡¯ll ever stop getting stronger. Certainly, since you¡¯re an elemental in body, your body won¡¯t decay until you die. But, since your soul began as a human soul I don¡¯t know if it made an authentic elemental core that weakens or something that grows along with your human soul that, as far as I can tell, doesn¡¯t grow weaker. I can tell that you are able to manipulate elements since you can control your new body and at least be able to control earth.¡±


    ¡°Judging by your core I can also tell that you have two elements, which is unnatural. Through you, it seems that humans have certain affiliation with the elements as well. Normal successors may obtain power by an elemental affiliated to another element: such as a wind elemental given the power of a water element. Only in very, very rare occasions will the successor keep both instead of the core choosing only one at a certain age. Your body not only kept both elements but was also somehow able to merge them: from fire and earth respectively into a mixture of fire and earth, magma. This can only be the result of a variance, a random ability that differs from traditional powers. I have a silver variance and metal variances aren¡¯t really that uncommon in earth elementals. Your variance, however,  is not one I¡¯ve ever heard of or even considered possible. You have the ability to condense and decondense your elements; it¡¯s probably how you were able to keep both. As you can see, your core reflects your abilities.¡± I take another look at my core as he speaks, ¡°you have the rich type of soil that supports life in these vines, magma which is a mix of earth and fire, fire so hot that it even burns the magma, a thick and bright flame that resembles the sun, and dense diamonds that can¡¯t be broken by normal means. Feline,¡± he calls my name to return my attention to him. ¡°Absorb all the earth and fire you can, focus on your ability to change them, and don¡¯t stop. If you do this, then eventually your diamonds will never break, your magma will flow as easily as water, and your light will never be put out. Somehow I know that you¡¯ll still find a way to get stronger even after that. This is the only way to ensure your survival, I don¡¯t care what you do as long as you survive.¡±


    Xavier stops speaking and I see that the soil has already reached his jaw, ¡°If you don¡¯t do everything you can to keep living then the mother who died to give birth to you would have died in vain.¡± I pause in shock but he keeps going as his eyes are enveloped in soil. ¡°You have two mothers and two fathers who love you more than life itself, don¡¯t give up.¡± With that, the soil has covered him entirely.


    ¡°Wait! Tell me what you mean? How do I have two mothers too?¡± There are no answers to my shouts. I go up to him to get a response but with only a touch his form crumbles away from the niche I found him in. My head is swirling and questions keep swimming through my head. He said I had two fathers, him and Papa, but what does he mean by two mothers? I know Mama is my mother, but who¡¯s the second? He said something about my mother dying to give birth to me. Isn¡¯t Mama the one who gave birth to me? What if she¡¯s not? Who did? Who gave birth to me and why didn¡¯t anyone say anything?!


    My head begins to ache and I hear sizzling nearby. The tide of magma is rising further than the line of vines and so they¡¯re being burnt away. The magma itself is chaotic and the flames that used to be resting on top are rising high and flying about frantically. The sun embedded in the top of the cave is pulsing, cracks are forming in the floor, and the diamonds on the walls are extending like thorns. My core, like my mind, is succumbing to chaos.

 Chapter 6: Transitions

    I try to breathe carefully, like Mama had taught me, so I can calm down. At this rate, I¡¯ll be killed in my own core - if that¡¯s possible. The memory of Mama¡¯s patience spurs on another wave of confusion and sense of betrayal. I don¡¯t understand! Why wouldn¡¯t anyone tell me about something so important?! What if the woman who gave birth to me had something to do with this elemental situation? Xavier should have told me more! I don¡¯t care about some stupid history lesson, tell me about her! Anger rises from within my confusion and overwhelms me. Through all these thoughts I begin pounding on the wall he used to be encased in. On the first hit, a crack spreads, on the second hit, the crack turns into a hole, on the third, the hole crumbles into what looks like a tunnel. My curiosity is piqued but my anger doesn¡¯t dissipate; this is just one more thing he didn¡¯t mention. I no longer have the intent to throw my weight around but the intense scorn on my face isn¡¯t going anywhere. In the corner of my view I notice movement, the black vines are quickly crawling up the wall to a platform that juts out above me. I didn¡¯t notice this before. I¡¯m then taken away from that discovery by the warmth edging around my feet.


    With every second the warmth moves around me I can feel the tension ebbing away. At this point I no longer want to calm down and try to move out of the magma that flows along the floor. Although I try to move out of it, it follows me. With a surging wave, the magma swirls around me and quickly engulfs my legs. I feel a sense of worry and comfort. It¡¯s strange, there¡¯s something about this magma that imitates consciousness. Like a warm embrace, the magma climbs up my body and steals away the strengthening wrath; what¡¯s left is weakening disappointment, fear, and sadness. The thoughts hidden underneath my ire seep through: is it because they didn¡¯t think I could handle it? Obviously I can¡¯t. Mama and Papa were right, I¡¯m too weak to be trusted with something so important.


    I stop resisting the magma as it pulls me into the depths and cradles me in its currents. I want to cry, I think I am, did they ever really love me? I don¡¯t notice anything else but the warm, slight pressure on my body. I feel no need to breathe and the lights slowly dim; I just want to sleep.


    ~~~~~~~~~~


    My eyes open and I¡¯m confronted with hazy vision. Oh, wait, my eyes aren¡¯t open yet. I guess it should be more like: I regain consciousness and I¡¯m confronted with something hazy in front of me. I do open my eyes and the image isn¡¯t noticeably clearer. What I¡¯m seeing is distorted and mildly green tinted. It¡¯s like looking through badly made glowing glass colored in a thin, lime hue. Behind it is mostly a dark expanse but I notice some indications that I¡¯m in a room.


    As I get up from my place on the floor I notice that the glass isn¡¯t only on one side of me but instead surrounding me completely. It¡¯s like I¡¯m in a box, within a room, dimly lit by the box. The room behind the glow is warped but I can see well enough that there¡¯s nothing else in here but me. Unsteadily, I stand only to lean against the glass to secure my footing. In a moment I realize the shock that my weight isn¡¯t breaking through the translucent wall. This revelation shakes away my haze and I begin to analyze it. Its texture is smooth without any of the protrusions that I expected given its appearance. It¡¯s somewhat chilled and really is glowing. I obviously don¡¯t want to remain trapped so I steady my tired legs and throw a fist straight at it. Amazingly, my fist bounces off and I¡¯m pulled to the other side of the box by the force. The resulting connection of my body and the other side results in a similar force throwing me to the other side with less force than before. My dumbfounded self is left lying on the floor with wide eyes and slack jaw.


    ¡°What the fuck?!¡± I usually don¡¯t talk like this but there¡¯s no regret in my lapse in verbal control.


    ¡°Hahahaha.¡±


    Laughter echoes around me and I jolt to attention. No longer laying on the floor, I¡¯m sitting vigilantly with my legs underneath me in an attempt to be ready in case I need to leap to my feet. I haven¡¯t needed to pay so much attention to my surroundings since the fight with the water elemental; even before that I was only twelve years old - it¡¯s been a while. Although I¡¯m scanning my surroundings to the best of my abilities I can¡¯t seem to find any indication of someone else within the room. ¡°Where are you?¡± Really, that jovial laughter indicates that the man behind the voice doesn¡¯t care if I know he¡¯s here or not. He already revealed himself so why not let me see him?


    ¡°It¡¯s unusual, isn¡¯t it? This feeling of weakness,¡± the man taunts me.


    ¡°I¡¯m starting to get used to it,¡± I wonder if he¡¯ll come out if I talk to him. It¡¯s true that I don¡¯t like the feeling of having no control but it¡¯s not completely strange.This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.


    ¡°Is that so? Isaac told me that you did well in his fight against you. Well, maybe it wasn¡¯t so much as a fight but rather a struggle against his attacks.¡± Any sense of being amused is gone and he speaks smoothly but carefully. I¡¯m not sure how to feel about this, it reminds me of Mama interrogating someone when she knows they did something wrong. The memories of the water attacks resurface and I attach the name Isaac to the water elemental.


    ¡°¡®Struggle, that sounds about right,¡± I mumble to myself without realizing I¡¯m speaking out loud.


    ¡°You¡¯re quite aware of your limits against him, aren¡¯t you?¡± I can feel his calculating gaze through his voice. ¡°Tell me, why can¡¯t you beat him?¡± This man confuses me. Why does this matter? I¡¯m already caught and should be dead by now based on how they know my origins. They want something from me and I shouldn¡¯t just let them take what they want without resistance.


    ¡°Why do you care about what I think? You should already know the answer if the man himself told you.¡± There must be something he¡¯s after concerning my abilities. I don''t even know what¡¯s going on inside of me. My core doesn¡¯t make much sense in a couple of ways, those vines for instance.


    ¡°Your answers tell me if I should let you live or not,¡± he¡¯s surprisingly blunt. ¡°I can tell whether you¡¯re telling the truth or not so don¡¯t bother lying. I also advise you to not hide any information as well. Every word said and unsaid is taken into account.¡±


    ¡°How can you tell if I¡¯m hiding anything?¡± There must be some clue from body language; it¡¯s not like he can hear my thoughts. He probably won¡¯t even tell me but I can¡¯t help but to ask.


    ¡°It¡¯s better if you don¡¯t know,¡± his voice turns sharp. ¡°Answer my question. Why can¡¯t you beat Isaac?¡± He gives me a chance to answer and I can¡¯t deny him at this point. It¡¯s not really for those who told me that I should live, in reality it¡¯s because of my own will.


    ¡°First: I can¡¯t use strength against him. His body is made out of water so I doubt I can hurt him by throwing a few punches.


    Second: when I¡¯m surrounded by his water I¡¯m somehow lifted up and I can¡¯t secure myself. This means that it¡¯s difficult to run away and use any strength that is already established as useless.


    Third: if I open my eyes then he can send water into them and it hurts like Hell.


    Fourth: I was able to run away at one point but didn¡¯t because I was worried about him hurting my family. In the end, I only ran because a hunch told me that he¡¯d just leave them and follow me.


    Fifth: I¡¯m pretty sure he¡¯s faster than me too.


    And sixth: there was someone else working with him.¡±


    There¡¯s a pause of silence before he continues with his questions.


    ¡°How were you able to survive?¡±


    ¡°My hard skin protects my magma-like body. When I close my eyelids there¡¯s no way in and I can still see, because of this I was unhurt. Also, a few times he let me escape his water, and so I was able to move around without much difficulty. The real reason I¡¯m sure I survived is that at some point the two decided to let me live. I have no idea what the other one is capable of so there¡¯s a fair chance that the partner could have killed me without trouble.¡±


    ¡°You thought about this a lot, didn¡¯t you?¡± His voice is calm and still holds that analytical caution.


    ¡°I think a lot,¡± I reply without hesitation. It¡¯s a well known fact to me since it hasn¡¯t only been a benefit but also a hindrance.


    ¡°Why is that?¡± I¡¯m not sure how to answer this question but consider it carefully. This question seems to have a lot of weight behind it.


    ¡°Well, I read a lot. What I read has to do with farming and survival. If I don¡¯t understand what I¡¯m reading then someone may get hurt or crops might fail. At best, if I screw up, I can try again. At worst, I would have been responsible for the downfall of the entire family or even someone¡¯s death. So, I developed the habit of overthinking.¡±


    ¡°Hmm,¡± it¡¯s similar to a grunt of understanding and I can tell that he¡¯s taking a lot from my words and how I say them. It¡¯s the honest truth. I may have been told I was being dramatic or that my worries were unnecessary, but it was how I felt. This was also due to thinking too much and caused a lot of my stress.


    ¡°Have you ever been the cause of someone¡¯s death?¡± He speaks calmly yet these words caused my chest to tighten. There¡¯s no use in lying, like he told me before, he very well may be able to tell if I¡¯m lying or hiding something. It¡¯s best to lay it all out there and hope they consider my honesty; it feels like the dumbest decision I¡¯ve ever made.


    ¡°Yes,¡± this word slides from my tongue and drops heavily into the atmosphere. Neither of us speak for a while and I get the idea that I¡¯m done for. The final nail driven into my figurative coffin.


    ¡°Explain.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± This is something I never expected. Why would he care if it¡¯s already been established what I did? I¡¯ve killed people and I admit it! For a second I can only stare into the darkness in front of me.


    ¡°I said, ¡®explain¡¯. I want you to explain why you were the cause of someone¡¯s death.¡± He¡¯s a little impatient but otherwise not too agitated.


    ¡°Oh,¡± I¡¯m still surprised. For a little while I describe the situation surrounding the time I killed the three soldiers when the war began. He asks for specifics and with hesitance I tell him everything, about the ax, hammer¡­ and my hands. After I finish he moves on like it was no big deal. The anxiety built up in my chest deflates as he asks me about what I¡¯ve noticed about my body and the time spent in my core. When I wondered if I should tell him about Xavier the box suddenly constricted and I took it as a sign he knew I was holding back. With only a second¡¯s hesitation I slowly relayed what main points I was told by the man within my core. No other sounds reverberated throughout the room but my cautious voice. Even if cautious, all the more worried and fearful. Somehow I felt like I betrayed Xavier and the eerie silence at the end of my tale brought forth thoughts of my own death.

 Chapter 7: New Race, New Place

    ¡°One last question,¡± the voice echoes out again. He¡¯s asked a lot of questions, some I expected and some I didn¡¯t. My every response is supposed to convince them to let me live. I¡¯m not even sure why I want to live - but I do. I don¡¯t have a family any longer and I¡¯m no longer even human, yet I can¡¯t abandon this life. Somewhere along the way I developed this feeling and I have no idea why. Could it have been in the forest when I was a kid? What about when I was defending my family in the barn? Maybe it¡¯s from confronting that water elemental. These all feel somewhat correct and yet not enough to justify my betrayal to Xavier.


    ¡°Do you know how to manipulate elemental souls?¡± His tone is sharp and cold.


    ¡°No,¡± I¡¯m sure Xavier purposely didn¡¯t tell me. What he did tell me is that he doesn¡¯t care what I do, as long as I survive. I suppose that should let me feel better for giving away everything he said. Still, the abnormal familiarity I had with him makes my stomach sour at how easily I relayed every bit of information. Maybe it¡¯s Xavier¡¯s words that make me desperate to live. I had a very strange bond with him. He told me to survive no matter what and now he¡¯s been absorbed by me. Can it be that his last wish internalized within me when the last of him was absorbed?


    ¡°Alright, we¡¯re done here,¡± the voice finalized. The sound of wind whistling through the room comes in past the glowing barrier. The inability to feel the wind though I could hear it makes me a bit disturbed. The sound gathers to my left and as I turn I see a dark skinned man¡¯s head lit by a ray of light behind me. He emotionlessly watches me with a silver item reaching from ear to ear. It¡¯s not easy to see because of the distortions in the box but his features look rather narrow.


    ¡°You will stay here while your case is being looked over. The result will be conveyed to you through your cell, the box you¡¯re in. If it disperses then you will continue to wait for someone to lead you elsewhere. If the judgment is death then you¡¯ll be killed before you realize.¡± Right after that the light turns off and I hear him opening a door. After he closes it again lights appear in the ceiling, almost like the sun in my core but within an obvious orb. Even through my cell I can see the glass containing each light source.


    All I have left is to wait. My whole future depends on the council who tried to kill Xavier. Supposedly, the reason they wanted to kill him was because he knew how to transfer souls. I¡¯m not sure, but maybe the initial reason I was supposed to be killed is because I absorbed Xavier¡¯s soul; so they thought he might have told me how the process worked. I¡¯m really, really glad he didn¡¯t. There¡¯s also the fact that I was originally human and now no one knows what will happen to me because of that. I have the accumulated power of the strongest in the history of Xavier¡¯s tribe, a rare ability, two elements, and unknown potential. The first, second, and third aren¡¯t unheard of since that could be said for any of the successors of strength, depending on their chances. The strange thing is the question pertaining to my limits. All elementals have limits because of their souls; all humans have limits because of their bodies; What happens when a human¡¯s soul merges with an elemental¡¯s and gains an elemental body? That seems to be the main reason why I¡¯ve been kept alive so far, curiosity.


    For the next hour or so all I can think of is what¡¯s already happened, why it happened, what I did wrong, and what I should have done. Like I told the man from before, I think a lot. Not a moment goes by that isn¡¯t filled with analysis and suffocating regret. I used to be able to tune everything out and focus on silence but that¡¯s only when I¡¯m in the fields, trying to control my emotions. The same emotions that spurred me on to act like a child and run away from my parents in a fit of stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID... misplaced anger. Xavier did say that the action of running away from the water elemental was the right idea in the sense that he¡¯s dangerous. I suppose he¡¯s dangerous because he took me here and I¡¯m waiting for judgment on my life.


    While I imagine the chances of my answers resulting in death I lie in the middle of my green, glowing box. There¡¯s suddenly a small buzzing sound coming from the corners. For a moment I think I¡¯m driving myself crazy but it grows louder as the light from the box dimms. My body shoots up from the floor and watches the scene. Within seconds the box disappears and four pebbles fall to the floor, rolling around with four others nearby. Without the first set of walls surrounding me I get a good look at the second set. Stone. It¡¯s all just stone. There has to be something special about this since I can just punch my way out of here if it¡¯s just normal stone. I really want to test it out. Although it¡¯s tempting, If I¡¯m caught the decision to let me live would quickly be revoked. I did tell them of my one known weakness, like an idiot! How is it that after the initial danger has passed I suddenly start thinking clearer? I didn¡¯t have to tell him that water hurts my eyes. He didn¡¯t ask about my physical weaknesses specifically and yet I blurted it out along with everything else!


    I sigh to keep myself from spiraling into a pit of regret. It¡¯s okay to regret since I can learn from it but I can¡¯t dwell on it or I can¡¯t learn properly - another thing Mama taught me. The thought brings my energy further down than expected since I¡¯m reminded of the idiocy from yesterday. Once more I do my best to put my regrets to the side and distract myself with the pebbles.


    These eight tiny pebbles have something to do with the box I was in. They¡¯re reflective, dark green, and have the shape and size of a pea. ¡°I¡¯ll take those,¡± a woman¡¯s voice cuts through my thoughts. Turning away from the pebbles I find an extremely curvy, peach looking woman. Everything about her makes me think of pink roses and sunshine. She has light brown hair tied into a wavy ponytail, light brown eyes, and round facial features. She¡¯s wearing clothes with pale colors: a light blue simple dress and a woven jacket type cloth wrapped around her shoulders that hangs off her bust and shoulders. Another woman next to her walks up and forcefully takes the pebbles from me. This one must have been the one who spoke. She¡¯s shorter than me but probably as tall as I was before the elemental event - so... average height? I can¡¯t really tell since I don¡¯t have anything to compare myself to. This second woman gives off the vibe of a fox, she has shoulder length dark orange hair, solid yellow eyes, and is very quick. She¡¯s wearing a thick, gray, long sleeved shirt and black pants. The image that comes to mind is a gray fox surveying her territory. I¡¯ve come across a few on my walks through the woods and they don¡¯t bother me unless I get too close. This woman might be the same.


    ¡°Here,¡± the peach woman has a voice that matches her soft appearance. She approaches and holds out a stack of folded clothes for me. I take them and thankfully slip them on. I¡¯m now wearing a sleeveless white dress that fits well and reaches a little past my knees. I was also given a vibrantly white pair of underwear¡­ but no shoes. Taking a look at the other two, I see the fox woman was wearing something like leather boots while the peach woman wasn¡¯t wearing any shoes either. ¡°Oh good, they fit!¡± The peach woman rejoices gleefully at the fact the clothes fit me. She looks me in the eyes with nothing but warmth, ¡°I was worried that they¡¯d be too big since you have fire as well as earth but it looks like your physique takes after the earth element.¡±


    ¡°Are these yours?¡± Everything¡¯s white and the dress is a bit frilly.


    ¡°Yes! How did you know?¡± She genuinely looks amazed and I have a feeling she¡¯s going to be exhausting; she talks and moves like a child in a grown woman¡¯s body. I don¡¯t mind children, I watch over them a lot, but I can only handle them an hour at a time at most.If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    ¡°Just a lucky guess,¡± I automatically put on the face I use on the kids, momentarily switching personalities. It¡¯s a lot easier to handle them if you act like you¡¯re extremely happy. The peach woman accepts my facade and the fox woman is entirely disinterested in the whole interaction, like she expected it. It¡¯s not like I did it intentionally, it just happens, if I slip up and my siblings find out I can¡¯t stand playing their games I¡¯m in deep trouble. This woman brings out one of my more shameful attributes: the ability to use fake personalities (I call it acting). After the event in the barn, if anyone saw me get upset or annoyed in the slightest they¡¯d distance themselves whether I want them to or not; this usually results in Mama telling me to control my emotions better. I¡¯m glad for her help a lot of the time but it should be okay for me to get upset sometimes, Papa told me that once. Therefore I developed the ability to fake emotions¡­ most of the time.


    ¡°That¡¯s enough, Una,¡± the fox woman stopped us before Una could respond. Una probably does this a lot. The fox woman takes the lead and Una steps back without a negative emotion to be seen. ¡°You¡¯ve been judged by our leaders and they have decided that you will integrate into our society. If you don¡¯t follow our laws you¡¯ll be punished accordingly.¡± Her originally calm face reveals a hint of severity, ¡°and just to be clear, this is the only safe place for you. Our race faces many dangers; most threats are unnatural - whether it be slavery, genocide, or being hunted for our cores. This place is an escape from all that, a sanctuary for elementals.¡± I nod, unsure of what to say. No one mentioned anything about slavery or being hunted. Xavier should have mentioned something about this since he wanted me to stay away from the other elementals. Could it be that she¡¯s lying?


    ¡°First thing¡¯s first,¡± the fox woman changes her attitude again to a slight sense of pity, ¡°you need to learn how to change form.¡± Una nods like a child acting grown up. ¡°We¡¯re both here because of that, each element does it a bit differently. It¡¯s actually a natural instinct but the officials were worried since you just recently awakened. Since we awaken in childhood it¡¯s supposed to be quite easy.¡± There¡¯s a pause of thought, ¡°how old are you, anyway?¡±


    ¡°Eighteen,¡± I answer without restraint. There¡¯s no sense in hiding anything anymore and these two seem to understand the situation.


    Una has an amazed shock on her face but the fox woman only has surprise. ¡°Helen, is this normal?¡± Una turns to the fox woman.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure, Mechanics must be different from the other races.¡± I have absolutely no idea what they¡¯re talking about and Helen picks up on that. ¡°You¡¯ll learn about the races later but I¡¯ll tell you now that we call your former race ¡®Mechanics¡¯ for a couple of reasons. We¡¯re getting off subject.¡± Helen gets irritated at the tangent I unintentionally led her into. She glances at Una and nods to signal something. Una goes through the door and shortly afterward she brings out a huge mirror to prop it up against the wall. ¡°The simplest way is to imagine yourself looking ¡®human¡¯ while focusing on your fire moving around.¡±


    ¡°The same with the earth, move it around and focus on what you want to look like,¡± Una adds.


    ¡°Your hair and eyes probably won¡¯t change color though, so don¡¯t be surprised.¡± Following Helen¡¯s last tidbit I go through with their instructions. This is the first time I¡¯ve looked into such a huge mirror. I¡¯m just about as tall as Una with similar proportions: wide hips, slim waist, muscled limbs, and big boobs. Honestly mine are a little smaller than Una¡¯s and I¡¯m pretty glad since hers look like they get in the way of everything. My wavy white hair rings like tiny bells when I try to push it away from my face, back over the back of my head, and jostling the rest of it hanging down my back to my waist. The bright light from my eyes flashes in the mirror and even though I squint it doesn¡¯t die down so I do my best to ignore it. My completely magma body swirls around inside the clear diamond casing when I do my best to focus. Although I say focus, I look like I¡¯m glaring at myself. It¡¯s slow at first but speeds up little by little. Helen and Una¡¯s instructions aren¡¯t very helpful since I don¡¯t have just earth and fire so I take turns focusing on the black earth and the white hot fire mixing around.


    Once I get everything to a satisfactory speed I focus on human skin. From within the center of my chest I see minute changes. Getting excited, I force more of it to come through. The image in my mind spreads it out and changes the diamond encasing as well. Soon the pale flesh spreads out to my shoulders and over my chest. I now notice how thin this dress is and almost lose focus. As I force the flesh to continue it crawls down my arms and legs leaving hair in specific places as well. When it rises past my neck I find a familiar face, albeit changed just a little. The whole body is pale whereas I used to have tan lines and of course this includes my face. My previously pink lips have turned dark to a red clay color, my jaw is more mature without the childish roundness, and my eyes aren¡¯t green anymore. Instead, my eyes are a bright, light yellow color that almost look like they¡¯re glowing with the contrasting white circlets. My hair, like my eyes, did change even if they said it wouldn¡¯t. The white, crystalline strands change from the roots onward into a dark, almost black, red. The light from the open door causes a bright, red shine within it which reveals that it¡¯s truly not completely black. With all these surrounding colors my eyes seem to glow even more so.


    ¡°Well done!¡± Una squeeks.


    ¡°I don¡¯t look like how I used to,¡± I comment more to myself than to them.


    ¡°It¡¯s probably because of your change in race. The hair change is more like a combination of your two elements rather than what your elemental body uses. There are actually a few other signs of this.¡± Helen doesn¡¯t seem as annoyed as she did before. I notice that she has a glossy stone in her hand as she speaks. ¡°There¡¯s the trademark Earthen figure and height, Firite eyes, and combination lip and hair colors.¡± Glancing over myself as she speaks I take it all in a second time as a finished product. Something I didn¡¯t really notice before was how muscular I am now. It¡¯s not like you can see every sinew. It¡¯s soft looking but obvious with my big thighs and shoulders. My hips are still proportionate with my shoulders so it¡¯s not like I¡¯m unproportional, I have an hourglass figure. Realizing that I¡¯m probably going to turn vain at this point I stop and set my attention on Una and Helen. I¡¯m not sure if they noticed my little moment but Una smiles at me kindly and Helen¡¯s still analyzing me. Her focus is making me uncomfortable and I remember how thin this dress is so I cross my arms in an attempt to not be so embarrassed. She soon retracts her gaze and turns around with Una following in suit.


    ¡°What now?¡± I ask.


    ¡°You¡¯ll be taken to your guardian. Depending on your progress you¡¯ll be staying with them for a while,¡± Helen reports.


    ¡°You¡¯ll get to learn all sorts of stuff about our city and people. Even if it¡¯s not a nice person this is for the best so try hard,¡± Una cheers me on. These two somehow get along well even though they¡¯re so different. Una follows along with Helen and Helen treats her better than she does others; well, when I say ¡®others¡¯ I mean me. They both lead me out of the room and into a hallway similarly built and lit like the room I was kept in. At a steady pace they both kept silent with only the sound of footsteps. Helen¡¯s boots clop against the floor, Una¡¯s feet almost stomp even though she¡¯s not trying, while I unconsciously walk on the balls of my feet. It¡¯s a habit I picked up a long time ago. Ever since I got heavy enough to shake the house with each step I started walking like that and easing the rest of me down after. This results in a tiny jolt throughout our house but only a small tap in this stone hallway. Heather doesn¡¯t seem to notice but Una looks back at me in confusion before glancing at my feet and tilting her head.


    ¡°Una,¡± Helen calls, ¡°let¡¯s go.¡± Una jolts her head forward and keeps up with Helen¡¯s pace once again. For a few more moments I notice Una glancing back at my feet and making weird movements with her feet to only result in a louder stomp when her heels reach the floor. I try not to laugh at her attempts to which she doesn¡¯t notice. I usually don¡¯t rest my heels on the floor when I walk. Helen did notice Una¡¯s strange footwork but ignored it. I wonder if Una does strange things often. I resist the urge to teach Una how to walk like me, it¡¯s so hard to resist. Helen might get annoyed at the disruption and I¡¯m mildly amused at Una¡¯s vain attempts. I¡¯ll teach her later if she asks me. This thought prompts an uncomfortable realization: how long do I plan on staying here? With all things considered I¡¯m tempted to stay for a while. Then there are Xavier¡¯s words or should I say his mistrust of these people. It could have been biased on his part but it also could have been based in truth. He had been hiding from them for a long time and they still tried to kill him in the end. I can¡¯t just ignore that. What am I going to believe? Can I trust them now? Could they possibly have changed?


    ¡°Hello, Feline.¡± A warm voice in the distance brings my stare off of the floor ahead of me and up to the end of the hallway. Waiting there is a slightly tan, blonde headed, woman in her 30¡¯s. She¡¯s dressed in warm colors along with wooden sandals. ¡°My name is Winifred, you can call me Winnie, I¡¯m your guardian from now on.¡± Helen gives Winnie a curt bow while Una bows slowly. Winnie nods to them and smiles at me as she pats me on the shoulder. I want to shrink back but she pushes me around the corner with said hand before I even try. Helen slips by to open the door now in front of us and at our feet I find something I¡¯ve never seen before.

 ~Images of Felines New Appearance~

    Hello! I quickly drew up a few images for all of my fantastic readers (thanks to a couple requests from the past few chapters). I know that I don''t tell you all how thankful I am for you guys reading my story but I really am, truly.


    Also, some of you may notice that I didn''t make them true to events (like the slight reveal from within her dress and she''s not wearing the dress in the element form) this is because -


    1: her elemental form is cool so I didn''t leave the dress on her


    2: I''m paranoid about getting in trouble


    I hope everyone likes them and they give you a better idea of what''s going on!


    </a>


    The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.


    </a>


    Once more thanks for reading! Please rate and/or review!

 Chapter 8: Ive Decided

    Before Helen gets the chance to open the door she steps on the tail of a large green weasel. It hisses and swipes at her, revealing large paws with huge claws at the end of each toe. Helen shrieks and jumps back to Winnie¡¯s side while Winnie steps forward to block her from the creature. It stands as tall as her waist and stretches out in front of us. My eyes watch it as the claws extend from the large paws which lead to the short, muscular front limbs. From there I notice the dark green color of the fur on its long back and the less muscular back limbs that soon also stretch much smaller feet than the front. Its long neck turns up toward Winnie and stares expectantly. Winnie waves her hand to the side and it slinks away in the direction she ordered it to. Helen is able to open the door once again and as we pass through I notice the bright light gleaming in the weasel¡¯s eyes, showing the intent glare within the orange orbs. ¡°Come,¡± Winnie calls softly and it slips through our small group to arrive between Winnie and myself.


    Through the door the bright light dims as my eyes adjust. Right outside is what I can only assume is a bustling city. Dirt roads pass between all sorts of stone and metal buildings gathered close together. A common theme with all buildings is that there¡¯s at least one wall covered in some type of plant. Even the wall next to me. I can tell that stacked on top of the metal there¡¯s a layer of dirt held together with the roots of some type of flowering vine. Pulling my attention away from the wall I then take into account the large groups of people within view. They¡¯re filing in and out of the buildings, running down streets, or moseying around like they have nothing better to do than just walk. Needless to say this is the most amount of people I¡¯ve seen in my entire life. It feels more crowded than a forest and I would rather go back inside.


    Every once in a while a few stop and bow their heads to Winnie and a man standing by the door. This man is at most a head taller than me and although he has wide shoulders his muscular structure isn¡¯t bulging like a few other really tall men I see walking around. He has gray hair falling past his shoulders and an ivory complexion on his face, he¡¯s probably within his mid thirties. His eyes are narrow and calculating, holding a light gray color within. His face is almost slender but not without a chiseled masculine jawline, straight nose, and thin lips. All in all I think he¡¯d be considered handsome. Winnie smiles at him and his eyes become softer as he uncrosses his bare arms. His light brown vest has a crest on the left side and I notice that Winnie has the same crest on a necklace barely above the neckline of her long, orange dress. It looks like a sphere covered in tribal markings. This sphere is held in two hands while all this is contained in a bold lined square.


    I¡¯m jostled out of my thoughts by the weasel brushing past me toward an approaching figure. He has a brown vest similar to the gray haired man and dirty black pants tucked into leather boots. The weasel stops him and he stands at attention in front of it. After this action the weasel returns to Winnie¡¯s side, this time between her and the gray haired man. ¡°What is it, Desmond?¡± The gray haired man speaks with a low voice to match his height.


    ¡°Sir Lowell, there¡¯s a request for your presence at the Draioch embassy.¡±


    ¡°Is it from Fergus?¡± The gray haired man, Sir Lowell, responds sharply. And the man nods with reluctance. Sir Lowell sighs with exhaustion and turns to Winnie. ¡°It looks like he wants another match,¡± he glanced at me for a moment. ¡°I¡¯ll try to make him wait until tomorrow. See you later, Winnie.¡± He bends over so far he almost looks like he¡¯s bowing and kisses Winnie on the forehead. She takes his face within her small hands and stands on her toes to kiss him on the mouth. It doesn¡¯t last long but it¡¯s still awkward for everyone present, not including the weasel. The vested man looks away and catches my eye. His eyes open wide before he looks further away to the side with a stressed look on his face. He has dark green hair cut short, a light brown complexion, and a square face. Although he¡¯s a few meters away I can see he has olive green eyes under his bold, dark green eyebrows. I wonder about his element. Everyone within sight has some sort of strange color hair or eyes I¡¯ve never seen, if not brown or black. Those with brown or black colored hair are also much taller than everyone else. Through this, I can assume all these things have to do with elements. I wonder about Sir Lowell though.


    I don¡¯t have much time to wonder since he¡¯s already far ahead of us along with the green haired man. Winnie then places her hand on my back, causing me to jolt in surprise, and she leads me down one side of the street before retracting her hand. Without any words, Winnie, the weasel, and I navigate through a loose crowd of people. My anxiety grows at the sheer number that seems to grow with each building we pass. ¡°There¡¯s a tournament this week, a lot of people from the outskirts come here to watch or participate.¡± Winnie seems to have noticed me getting closer to her and continues with an amused smile, ¡°calm down, they¡¯re not going to hurt you.¡± Angry at how she makes fun of my unease I make some space between the two of us - not too much though. To my surprise, no one gets close to me. I catch glimpses with strange eyes I can¡¯t decipher but even those who don¡¯t look at me swerve out of my way. The same thing seems to happen to the other earth elementals within the crowd. Everyone else must be afraid of getting stepped on or knocked around by a stray limb. Winnie seems to have the ability to part a crowd as well; even if the space around us is a bit bigger compared to everyone else, it¡¯s more of a relief.


    As we pass person by person, building by building, I notice more things about the atmosphere here. It¡¯s quite lovely. The stone and metal on the buildings are sculpted into designs and sometimes figures. Each plant adorning the two to three story towers differ from one another. I say that the buildings tower even if they¡¯re only two to three stories (which should only be a bit bigger than the family barn back at home) because each floor is much bigger than normal. Even in contrast to earth elementals they¡¯re considered pretty big; in comparison to the other elementals the doorways themselves are gigantic.


    The people are quite lively as they¡¯re bustling around without much care. Their clothes are generally clean and usually vibrant. The styles vary from somewhat extravagant to cleanly cut and simplistic. I get the feeling that no one here has any troubles whatsoever. The hair colors and skin tones vary from the palest of whites to rich tones to pitch black. The diversity of color from clothes to hair to everything else almost puts me in a daze. Suddenly the crowd thins out and I can breathe much better. I feel my arms relax as I didn¡¯t realize I had them nervously held in front of me. My shoulders drop from their tension and my steps almost come to a stomp until I focus on keeping them light. I hate how my feet stomp around under my weight.


    ¡°We¡¯re almost there,¡± Winnie tells me and I wonder where we¡¯re going in the first place. I was so caught up in my nerves that I didn¡¯t realize anything else. I could have probably slipped away from her but I immediately remember that I have no other place to go.


    ¡°Madam Winifred,¡± calls out a small, light blue haired, young girl standing at the doorway to a huge two story building covered with steel fixtures as well as sculpted stone. She stands as tall as Winnie¡¯s brow and shaped like a pear, wide hips with a thin torso. Her light blue hair is cut at her chin and curls inward toward her face. Her face itself exudes innocence and sweetness. She reminds me of a spring pouring over rocks - calming.


    ¡°Phoebe, please prepare the innermost bedroom,¡± Winnie speaks without much emotion as she meets with the young girl.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.


    ¡°Yes, Madam,¡± Phoebe bows slightly before opening the door for us. It¡¯s almost strange how soft and light her voice is. Winnie leads me inside a large room more than half the size of my whole house. The walls are a strange color of blue stone while also filled with large paintings of landscapes. In the center is a large glass sculpture of a man fighting with a woman - at a very close proximity wearing nothing but glass flames.


    ¡°I made this in memory of the day Lowell and I first met.¡± Winnie has a warm nostalgic look to her eyes. ¡°We were trying to recruit him to help us establish this country and unite the elemental tribes,¡± she laughs silently, ¡°he said he¡¯ll decide after we prove ourselves. Apparently only a few of us gave him any challenge but it was enough. I fell in love with him during that fight, he was so meticulous, cunning, and strong.¡± She glanced over to me, ¡°not to mention handsome. In his elemental form he¡¯s not only striking but domineering as well, like a god of war.¡± I can tell just how in love she is with this man, disturbingly so. Her face conveys a sense of ecstasy as well as a bit of madness. In a moment she snaps back to a calm, warm demeanor, pretending like her break in character never happened. ¡°I¡¯ll give you a tour of the house.¡±


    Winnie leads me through the entryway to a room filled with plush furniture and small side tables. It has less metal but more stone and it¡¯s where they entertain company. Next are studies for both her and Sir Lowell, several bedrooms with large, stone framed beds fit for five people at the same time. I¡¯m surprised that the second floor is able to hold me as well as everything else and attribute it to the stone and metal this place is made of. Her bedroom has a similar situation but with metal posts and frames for their bed. In all, the house has six large bedrooms, two dens, two rooms for entertainment, a sun room, and a basement used as a stockroom. Lastly was a garden in the back filled with flowers, shrubs, and small trees. This is all very impressive but there¡¯s something bothering me.


    ¡°Where¡¯s the kitchen? And what about the toilets?¡± I ask. It¡¯s certainly something to worry about. For a moment Winnie takes her eyes off of the frolicing weasel and stares at me in confusion. After that brief moment her eyebrows rise like she remembered the basic necessities of life.


    ¡°Oh, Feline,¡± she smiles like she¡¯s thinking ¡®you poor ignorant thing¡¯. ¡°Elementals don¡¯t need to eat and certainly don¡¯t defecate.¡± The way she speaks is like she¡¯s telling a child that people can¡¯t fly. Of course I¡¯m confused. ¡°As long as we have our elements we have no need to eat, unless pregnant. You¡¯re not pregnant are you?¡± She asks seriously.


    ¡°No!¡± I can¡¯t help but shout, ¡°I¡¯ve never had children or... done such things!¡± Winnie chuckles at my angry tone. I want to storm off out of embarrassment.


    ¡°I can¡¯t help but think so,¡± she defends herself. ¡°It¡¯s impossible for elemental women to develop breasts without eating and we¡¯re unable to eat until our first pregnancy. Since you have such large breasts I figured¡­ wait, it might be because you were once human.¡± She stops to think with her arms crossed and one on her chin. ¡°I wonder if you were somehow able to digest your original human body while forming your elemental one. It makes sense unless there was blood, flesh, and bone scattered about when you transformed.¡± She glances at me, ¡°was there?¡± I shake my head tensely, I think I would have noticed such gore. ¡°Well, then,¡± she lowers her arms and goes to the weasel to pat it on the head, ¡°it must be that your human body was digested by your elemental body and sent it to your breasts as nectar as a result - I probably should say that nectar is a secondary source of energy for elementals.¡± I notice how she has a small but existent chest and she giggles, ¡°Lowell likes them. Oh, and I advise you to not give any nectar out until we figure out if it¡¯s normal or not.¡±


    ¡°Not happening!¡± I find myself shouting again. Really, are all elementals this casual about such topics? I can¡¯t help but to imagine what she means by giving out nectar and dash away that image as soon as it pops up.


    ¡°Calm down,¡± she waves a hand at me, ¡°it¡¯s not like you have to in the first place. It¡¯s just that it¡¯s normal around here. Some women with more potent nectar choose to sell it and it¡¯s a popular commodity for warriors trying to get stronger.¡± My face twists in disgust and she gives a short laugh.


    ¡°I think I need to lie down,¡± along with everything that¡¯s happened I suddenly get extremely tired.


    ¡°Sure,¡± Winnie nods. ¡°I¡¯ll take you to your room.¡± We left the garden with the weasel romping around by itself. Shortly after she took me to the innermost room of the house and let me in. ¡°Tomorrow we¡¯re going to buy clothes for you, get some rest.¡±


    As soon as she closes the door my fatigue escalates into exhaustion. I see the bed but hesitate. I¡¯ve never slept in an actual bed before; I¡¯ve always slept in my carved out hole since I break any normal bed I lay on. The blankets remind me of the old quilts Mama made for me and my body grows heavy.


    Mama.


    I miss Mama.


    I miss Papa, Uncle, Aunt, brothers, sisters, and cousins. I miss Ethan and training him. I miss the way he pranced around with the carriage behind him. I miss all the dogs. I miss the crops, pigs, and chickens. I miss playing those annoying games with the toddlers. I miss the woods. I miss so much, even the bears, wolves, foxes, and everything else that made farming harder. I miss our little house, our old barn, that well. I miss Mama.


    I want to cry. I need to cry but I can¡¯t. My face feels hot and it hurts from my twisted expression but the tears won¡¯t come. It hurts! My heart hurts. Why can¡¯t I cry?! I could cry before and Mama would comfort me. When I was little she¡¯d hold me and when I grew older she¡¯d wrap her arms around me; I need that now. I need my Mama and I need to cry. Only soft whimpers come forth and quickly change strength. I fall to the ground and hold myself as I shake. Of course I can¡¯t cry, I¡¯m not human anymore. I don¡¯t shit like a human, I can¡¯t eat like a human, who knows if I even have a heart?


    My breathing is getting out of control and I try to calm it down. I begin to wonder, do I even have lungs? I¡¯m afraid to test this out but I need to know, I just need to. I hold my breath, hoping for the pressure to build up in my chest, waiting for the pain. There¡¯s no pain, I don¡¯t know how long I¡¯ve been waiting but there¡¯s no pain. I don¡¯t even need to breathe. Like a rejection I take a breath with all my might and continue to breathe in defiance.


    There¡¯s no connection to me and humanity anymore. The blood bond between us is gone completely. I have nothing. They were my life. Everything I knew revolved around them.


    My sobbing softens and without warning I fall asleep.


    The only way I know that I fell asleep is because I¡¯m in my core again. I¡¯m truly tired in mind as well as in body and I just want to sit on the soft earth. Gradually, I hunch over and notice that I¡¯m in my elemental form now. A harsh bitterness invades my mind making me no longer simply sad, guilty, or homesick. Bitterness leads to hatred and my hatred leads to sadness once again while mixing with the other emotions. Suddenly disrupting my brooding is a black vine climbing up my leg. Actually, nearly a dozen are clinging to me and slowly moving around. Wherever they move I can see my magma cool into a darker color from under my clear skin. It seems that they¡¯re thriving off of the heat. It makes sense since they grow in a place like this (even if I¡¯m sure this is all in my head). They do grow amazingly close to the magma without touching it. I wonder what kind of plant this is.


    At a time like this I realize that my mood has changed simply because of these thin vines. I wonder if they¡¯re taking in all my anger too. As I watch them I see small black leaves begin to grow, little bundles of them. A smile unconsciously appears on my face and I¡¯m glad. I¡¯m glad because I¡¯m needed again. That was my whole purpose in life, helping my family. While I worked, learned, and even planned for the future. Eleanor and Miranda¡¯s marriages were partly a benefit for the whole family since tradition dictates that the family who gains a member must give something in return. There were also connections to the people in relation to their new families. I was supposed to do the same: get married, family would receive the gift, and would also use my husband¡¯s connections in business. Everything was for my parents¡¯ benefit. I felt needed, essential, helpful.


    Now, I¡¯m of no use to anyone but these little vines. They almost don¡¯t count because they¡¯re part of my core, essentially myself. Haha, I needed support from myself and in turn fulfilled that need to be needed. Wait, does that make sense? It almost does. It¡¯s just strange: I¡¯ve lived my whole life towards the goal of supporting my family and now I have no one to support but myself. Can I live for myself? How do I do that? I can¡¯t accept the idea of living for the sake of living, it¡¯s meaningless to me. What do I want?


    After a long time of following my own web of thoughts I come up with an answer. There¡¯s a war going on over there and I have no idea if anyone is even alive anymore. What I want is to protect my family. I want to protect them because it would make me feel better. Even if I¡¯m no longer physically related to them I still love them with everything I have. I may not stay with them for the rest of eternity but all I want right now is to keep them safe from the war. That is what I want - I have decided. But first, I need to find out where I am and how to get back home.

 Chapter 9: Lets Follow Along For Now

    Once I open my eyes I¡¯m greeted with a strange room. Oh, wait. This is the room Winnie took me to. I¡¯m at Winnie¡¯s house; I¡¯m not a human; I¡¯m an elemental. With a deep breath the memories return to me. My decision from my core almost escaped my memory - which is strange. So far I haven¡¯t experienced a deep, dream-like state after being in my core. It isn¡¯t such a bad thing since I¡¯m a little more clear now. That¡¯s right, there¡¯s no reason to continue being worried. I know what I need to do. It won¡¯t be easy to figure out all the specifics but I now have a goal.


    I¡¯m going to find a way home, make sure my family is safe, and make sure they¡¯re safe until the end of the war. I have no idea how long a war usually lasts, it may take a few more weeks or it may take centuries. For now though, I need to find a way there.


    My body doesn¡¯t feel stiff when I push myself off the bed but I still stretch just for the familiarity. Once I open the door the sunlight from the window above warms my skin. I didn¡¯t realize how sluggish I felt until the light spread over me. Stepping into it completely, I feel the warmth sink into me. My body becomes just a little bit lighter in more ways than one. With a glance at my hand I notice a dim glow. I almost want to laugh at how strange it is. It¡¯s like this human appearance doesn¡¯t matter since I still produce light. Soon the glow fades and the feeling of growing heat doesn¡¯t increase anymore but instead I cool down a bit as it ebbs deeper in.


    There¡¯s a tap on the floor behind me and I jerk around to search for the source. There¡¯s a man a few paces behind the doorway to my room and he looks more scared than I am. His evident fear turns to some awkward worry and I can¡¯t help but release my own fear. He looks like he¡¯s a fish who jumped onto shore. ¡°What?¡± I question him carefully. There has to be some reason he¡¯s here by my room. I understand that barely anyone visits this place. Winnie said so herself.


    ¡°I¡­ uh¡­¡± he sputters. He¡¯s shorter than me but seems to be above average height compared to the people I¡¯ve seen so far. His short hair is bright orange and matches the little stubble across his strong chin. He has light skin and eyes that bridge between orange and yellow. Altogether, I¡¯d say he¡¯s good looking: almost rugged but with the small effort to be cleaned up. He¡¯s wearing a black and green uniform similar to some I¡¯ve seen on the way to the house yesterday. The design emphasizes the narrow waist and broad shoulders above his sleeveless arms. Although he has a strong appearance it¡¯s barely noticeable since he¡¯s so flustered. He clears his throat and starts speaking again with his eyes cast to the side.


    ¡°I¡¯m here to bring you to Madam Winifred. Please, follow me.¡± He spins around and starts walking away without my response. It¡¯s annoying that he doesn¡¯t let me respond or even bother looking me in the eye. Because of this I almost forget to control my gait more than usual. After the first step causing a huge vibration through the floor I angrily recall this other annoyance and follow him with a glare. The morning began well enough until he appeared.


    He leads me down to the front of the house to where Winnie is waiting along with the weasel. By the way the weasel matches the uniform I¡¯d assume it was designed around the animal. Hm.


    ¡°Good morning,¡± Winnie greets me with a calm grin. She¡¯s wearing pants today along with a long blouse with slits on the side and a seam gathered at her waist. Her colors are more vibrant today and I wish I had something other than this frilly dress to wear. I usually don¡¯t care about clothes but Mama¡¯s bridal training gave me some idea of my own taste and this dress is not in that category. ¡°For now,¡± Winnie starts, ¡°I¡¯ll pay for anything you need. But once you get used to life here and start working you pay for your own stuff.¡± I nod thinking that I won¡¯t stay long enough for that. She returns the nod in affirmation. ¡°Good, let¡¯s go.¡±


    This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it


    The situation on the streets is similar to yesterday. This time I notice some things etched into the fronts of buildings and I¡¯m pretty sure that they¡¯re supposed to be words. I understand the spoken language though, so I¡¯m not sure what that¡¯s about. It¡¯s best not to ask Winnie about it right now but I¡¯ll talk to her about it once we¡¯re in a less hectic place.


    While in the middle of the city she veers off the road into a brightly colored building. With a glance I can say that it¡¯s a pretty huge place. It¡¯s filled with statues of various sizes covered in clothes along with shelves neatly displaying shoes. The statues are gathered in groups according to styles and I can actually see a few that I wouldn¡¯t mind wearing. Winnie weaves through the few other people analyzing the clothes and stops at a desk along the wall.


    ¡°Blythe!¡± Winnie¡¯s tone is once again suddenly sharp. From within an open room we hear something tumble over and a distressed yelp. What emerges from the huge doorway is a somewhat short man with round features. He has dark skin, light blue hair with white ends pulled back in a ponytail, and large blue eyes. Although he has round features he¡¯s not fat by any means; he¡¯s rather lithe if you look past his almost childish face.


    ¡°Lady Winifred!¡± He¡¯s surprisingly excited to greet her despite her aggressive barking at him. She explains that I¡¯m a lost successor that was found recently and I¡¯ll be staying with her. As such, I need Firet cloth sized for an Earthen. It¡¯s not hard to tell that these are words they use to describe different elementals. They could have been more creative but then again I¡¯m glad it¡¯s so easy to understand.


    The man called Blythe looks me over with curiosity and contemplation, like a puzzle he needs to complete. ¡°First, I suppose we¡¯ll figure out what you want to buy; then we¡¯ll take her measurements.¡±


    ¡°Go on,¡± Winnie waves at me, ¡°find something you like. Only a couple though, I¡¯m not that rich.¡± I don¡¯t really feel like answering and she doesn¡¯t seem to care since she starts talking with Blythe again. Out of all the styles I immediately head toward the most practical ones. There are those that seem obviously designed for males and those obviously designed for females. The difference is in the statues but mostly in the chest. These clothes further reinforce Winnie¡¯s statement about nectar. Many of the women¡¯s clothes have sections designed to remove the cloth around the breasts and I avoid these immediately. There are still many designs that don¡¯t visibly have this feature and I see a couple I like.


    One is more simple. It has thick, dark, brown pants that won¡¯t tear as easily as the other ones I¡¯ve seen, the inside of the thighs are reinforced with leather - which is obviously designed for Earthens since my work pants easily wore out in the past - and there are a couple additions to the sides which could be used to carry items and such. All-in-all the pants seem useful. The shirt I like is strangely stretchy - which I love since it doesn¡¯t look like it¡¯ll tear - and doesn¡¯t have a low neck-line or removable chest section like the others. It¡¯s black with rounded, orange lines in a design that¡¯s simple but nice to look at. Like a lot of other clothes in this section, it doesn¡¯t have sleeves but I don¡¯t care that much. The second pair of pants is much like the first except light tan, a bit wider at the bottom of the leg, and there are no additions on the sides. The second shirt isn¡¯t stretchy and has long sleeves. It¡¯s also blue and without design but looks comfortable and it¡¯s pretty soft.


    I don¡¯t think I should take the clothes off of the statues and simply approach Winnie to tell her that I¡¯ve decided. As I reach the counter I get closer to Winnie¡¯s voice, which I could hear all along. She seems to be bartering with Blythe and although he has a pleasant look to his face he¡¯s not letting her have her way easily. I also notice that the uniformed man that met me in the hallway in front of my room was there and wondered if he was there all along. I was probably paying too much attention to the crowds in front of me that I didn¡¯t see him following us from behind. Just like before, he avoids me as much as possible. It¡¯s fine because I don¡¯t have any business with him anyway.


    After I let Winnie know that I¡¯ve decided on what I want Blythe measures me overtop the dress I¡¯m wearing. It¡¯s only embarrassing when he measures me across my chest and on the inside of my legs but he doesn¡¯t take long to write down the measurements. ¡°I¡¯ll have these done by tomorrow as agreed,¡± he has a bit of a tired tone in his pleasant face and Winnie nods with an accomplished smile as she tosses a bag over to him. I assume it¡¯s a form of currency. Mama told me all about money and we mostly deal with silver and copper; I wonder if they use the same. Blythe doesn¡¯t bother to count anything so I can¡¯t check for now. As soon as we leave the store we¡¯re greeted by a woman wearing the same garb as the man that¡¯s been following us around.


    ¡°Madam, Sir Lowell would like you to meet him at the Arena as soon as possible. He says that the spar will begin soon,¡± she reports. I catch a few glances my way but most of them are directed at Winnie. She smiles and looks at me with glee.


    ¡°We¡¯re going to watch a fight.¡±