《Number One》 Artful Suprise Chapter One - Artful Surprise Edited by Getbackols ¡°Number One...¡± Number One, such a meaningless name, you¡¯d figure a creative type would give a creative name but nope, individuality denied. Three years, I have slaved away as this flamingo colored spandex wearing cape loving crook¡¯s right hand man and let me tell you if he asks me to get coffee one more time he¡¯s going to have an ¡®accident¡¯ later. Seriously, it was my shitty luck that got me assigned to him and he¡¯s taking full advantage. He even makes us wear the most ridiculously colorful tight spandex jumpsuits imaginable. They look like modern art if modern art was a five year old throwing up the paint he ate on a canvas, which sometimes it is. Worst part is, after serving a TOTAL OF SIX YEARS together he sends me on a SUICIDE MISSION on the VERY LAST DA- ¡°NUMBER ONE ARE YOU LISTENING!?!?¡± ¡°Yes, Master Brushstroke, I¡¯m listening.¡± ¡°Oh really? What the hell did I just tell you then!?¡± Sigh. ¡°You told me that after number three blows up the power plant subsidiary and therefore knocks out the lethal defenses I am to use the explosives on top of the building to crash into the super hero art exhibit. Then I will use a paint roller to deface as much art as possible before number seven gives the signal to retreat when he spots any response on behalf of the super heroes.¡± ¡°Seriously, how did you guess it?¡± ¡°You¡¯re honored excellency has graced me by explaining it to the lowly me on many prior occasions.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t think that just because it''s¡¯ your last day as my henchman before you become a super villain I won¡¯t kill you.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t that what you¡¯re doing anyways!? There¡¯s no escape plan!¡± ¡°Like I said, The Cubist Mobile will take you out of the exhibit.¡± ¡°You expect me to believe that?! That block of metal can¡¯t even outrun ordinary cops, let alone super heroes!¡± ¡°IF YOU DON¡¯T WANT TO DO THE MISSION, THAT¡¯S FINE! Just remember that¡¯s grounds for ¡®dismissal.¡¯ Hegegege.¡± I mutter under my breath ¡°I swear he has the stupidest laugh.¡± ¡°What you say?¡± ¡°I was just saying to myself than I need to come up with a laugh as villainous as your own, sir.¡± ¡°Oh so you noticed? Yes well it took many years of practice not everyone can have a laugh that screams villainy like mine. Hegegegege.¡± That¡¯s because other people actually have some talent- in the midst of thinking this I saw what looks like a fireworks display on Fourth of July go off across the river. It¡¯s like he¡¯s advertising there¡¯s something going on¡­ ¡°Fuck me¡± I began to run from the riverside to the nearby Maximillian Art Center nearby while carrying two incredibly heavy duffle bags. An incredibly gaudy building made with a fusion of cubist and abstract design stood before me. Overall, it looks like a little kid spilled his Legos on the floor if legos were 45 feet tall. Thankfully that makes it easier to scale on the outside. Using a grappling hook and rope I curse my damn boss who can¡¯t even splurge for a helicopter because it¡¯s too ¡®conformist¡¯. What does that even mean? So because something is useful and therefore well liked it shouldn¡¯t be used? I swear, when this guy was in high school he was a goth or someshit and got constantly beaten up. My only regret is that we didn¡¯t go to the same high school so I could take a shot at him too. Climbing up the rope I understood more than ever how much P.E. class has saved my ass. Jumping, crawling, and running are the tools that I have used to not get my head melted down by some vigilante''s heat vision. Not to mention a guy with a paint brush stuck up his ass using our pain and misery to fuel his ¡®creative urges¡¯ while making expressionist ¡®art work.¡¯ Meaning that asshole gets off on us dying. Nearing the top I carefully placed down a big black duffle bag filled with explosives on the roof. The explosives are C4 so it doesn''t particularly matter if I toss it around a little or so I¡¯ve been told. I would like to know what sane person would randomly ¡®toss¡¯ any explosive. I lined them up in a circle and then placed the charges on a timer. Quickly running behind a lego smaller upper floor. *BOOM* As the whole roof shakes i struggle to keep my balance. Then after the shaking stops I immediately run towards the large new hole on the roof. Using the same grappling hook and rope I began to propel myself downward. Soon I arrived on the floor and I take out my sub machine gun with a flashlight attachment as well as a paint roller from the duffle bag. After engorging the roller with red paint I began to move towards the heroes exhibit. Thankfully it''s dark so the automatic defences should be down but emergency lights and security should be coming up soon. Entering the exhibit all the lights suddenly turned on. I pointed my gun outward ready to mow down whatever stood between me and the way out when I heard the word ¡°SURPRISE.¡± All around me are familiar faces. Cold sweat was pouring down my face. I had very nearly blew a few holes in Tiger Man¡¯s face. ¡°I say, would you mind holstering your weapon, old chap?¡± Said Tiger Man in the fakest english accent imaginable. I put my weapon down and spot Master Brushstroke. ¡°Whats going on?¡± ¡°Well, you wouldn¡¯t know but it¡¯s actually midnight right now and thus, you are officially a Super Villain! Shocked aren¡¯t you?¡± I quickly checked my watch and it had 11:03 on it making me utter ¡°uhh.¡± ¡°I wouldn¡¯t trust that. While all you croni- uh, ahem, subordinates were sleeping I adjusted the time to be one hour behind. Also, all your new guildmates are here to celebrate with you! Come, come, let me introduce you around.¡± With that everyone began to mingle and drink like it''s some sort of high class social. I got to admit, they all look pretty good. Guys in tux and women in dresses. Meanwhile, I have to embarrass myself in puke colored clothing. Fucking hell, Master Brushstroke. He then guided me to this voluptuous brunette wearing what could''ve passed as a dress if not for the top portion being a very revealing corset. Standing with her was what I imagine a human Pillsbury Doughboy would look like in a suit. ¡°Madam Delphinium, Sir Starmover, may I introduce to you number one. Number One, meet Madam Delphinium and Sir Starmover.¡± ¡°Oh you poor dear, you haven¡¯t changed your name yet? I hope you can forgive Master Brushstroke. He has really put up a lot of effort into surprising you. In fact he was as giddy as a schoolgirl when you finally became eligible for promotion.¡± Responded Madam Delphinium. ¡°Ha! Don¡¯t listen to her, Number One. He was only giddy about the fact that he won the death pool purely because he was your supervisor.¡± Elaborated Sir Starmover while slightly jiggling. You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story. ¡°No need to tell hi-¡± Master Brushstroke tried to whisper. ¡°Tell him what? That we Supervillains have a pool going on about who¡¯s right hand man was going to die? That you cheated and actually bet against him for a while? That if he hadn¡¯t won you would have had to prost-¡± ¡°OKAY, OKAY! Yes that!¡± Screamed out a mournful Master Brushstroke. ¡°So, uhh, is there a change of clothes anywhere? Also, when do I change my name?¡± I said while trying my best to maintain my calm before my new colleagues. ¡°Oh dear, I thought you were wearing that as some sort of fashion statement. No need to worry though, Sir Starmover possesses a dimensional space cube (DSC) courtesy of the guild exchange. Also, later on you will get a document uploaded to the Void Library App on your phone with all the relevant details. In fact, I¡¯d be surprised if it wasn¡¯t there already.¡± Spoke the ever so helpful Madam Delphinium. While Sir Starmover was playing around with what I assume is the DSC he whispered in a low tone. ¡°I¡¯d watch myself if I were you, boy. Madam Delphinium has had many boyfriends and all of them are missing.¡± While he was pulling out a suit from the incredibly small cube Madam Delphinium punched Sir Starmover. He loses his grasp and the suit goes back into the cube. ¡°What was that for!¡± Said Sir Starmover in an aggrieved voice. ¡°Hmph, what was that warning then? Nothing?¡± An equally aggrieved Madam Delphinium asked. ¡°Now see he-¡± Before he finished his sentence Master Brushstroke took me by the arm while saying ¡°These guys always fight and you have a lot more people to meet. Let me take you to that couple over there with the man with an oversized jaw line and the woman who looks like the love child of bulimia and anorexia.¡± While we were walking over, the blonde man, who does indeed have a jawline of a neanderthal, spoke ¡°It appears we put too much effort into how we look. Next time I¡¯ll dumb it down and put on a t-shirt with some actual creative art on it.¡± ¡°What did you say, you fuckin caveman!? You dare criticize the excellence of my artwork? Why don¡¯t you go back and paint cantaloupe in a cave somewhere with horse dung!¡± Rebuked Master Brushstroke. ¡°Even a caveman¡¯s painting skills are better than your 3rd grade art work, oh wait you lost that competition didn¡¯t you?¡± ¡°That was over three decades ago, Lammergier. Why can-¡± Before I could continue listening to the two bicker on and on, the admittedly skinny woman grabbed my attention and chatted. ¡°Don¡¯t mind them, They¡¯ve been at each other¡¯s throat since Lammergier¡¯s right hand man died under suspicious circumstances. He believes Brushstroke did it you see. He was just a month away from the promotion too. By the way, I¡¯m Amy - whoops. I just used my rea- my previous name. Do forgive me.¡± Thinking back on it now there was that guy Brushstroke had me kill a half a year ago. Well, discretion is the better part of valor. ¡°Hi Amy, I¡¯m¡­ well Number One for now. I¡¯ll get it changed suit- Uh I mean soon.¡± ¡°Oh could that have been a freudian slip?¡± She then gives me a once over and I do everything possible not to die of embarrassment. ¡°Well, no one can blame you considering the¡­ circumstances. You know I do think I have a suit your size in my DSC. If you''re wondering why I have one it''s because that messy ape of a husband who can¡¯t keep anything clean. I think you have the same body type. Would you like it?¡± I nodded affirmatively while saying ¡°Your a lifesaver.¡± She begins to fiddle with her DSC while chatting ¡°Oh I wouldn¡¯t go that far, plus you earned it. All those sacrifices you had to make? Only you know all the faces of your friends and coworkers that fell into an early grave because of our line of work. Those unfortunate souls dying with lingering regrets, having achieved nothing, and then replaced by a new ¡®number.¡¯¡± Come to think about, she¡¯s right. A lot of people have died on my way here. ¡°Honestly it''s just horrible. So many people dying I¡¯m sure you can tell me all kinds of stories of all the courageous wonderful people that fell right in your very arms.¡± Amy continued. ¡°Well, I normally don¡¯t try to think about it but my frie-¡± ¡°Stop right there!¡± Master Brushstroke interrupted. ¡°Lady Darkmind, stop playing around with the rookie¡¯s head. He¡¯s already got enough problems without you messing around his mind.¡± ¡°Oh poo. You''re no fun Master Brushstroke. No wonder your still single.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t bother, my mind is impervious to your charms.¡± Defended Master Brushstroke. Just when Lady Darkmind finished messing around with her DSC and started pulling out a suit. *BOOM* The exterior wall suddenly exploded in and on the rubble stood a man with a cape. I began to panic but everyone else was cool and collected, like they knew it was going to happen. The man with the cape started to approach us. He was wearing the kind of clothes people wear at home and a white cape. He then started to shout. ¡°WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ASSHOLES BLOW UP THE POWER SUBSIDIARY?! YOU THINK JUST BECAUSE THIS IS A GUILD SPONSORED EVENT YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU LIKE!? SO WHAT IF YOU GET A NOOBIE, HE''S PROBABLY GONNA DIE IN A COUPLE OF YEARS ANYWAYS! LISTEN UP! THIS WORLD BELONGS TO THE PEOPLE. NOT TO SHIT STAINS LIKE YOU! YOU¡¯RE SAFE FOR NOW BUT MARK MY WORDS WHEN YOU STEP OUT OF LINE, I''LL BE THERE TO BREAK OPEN THOSE EMPTY SKULLS OF YOURS!¡± He then turned to leave and shouted ¡°I¡¯M NOT PAYING FOR THIS FUCKING WALL!¡± He blew another hole in the wall and jumped down. ¡°Looks like Captain Anger Problems strikes again.¡± Said Anonymous. ¡°Anger problems? I¡¯m picking up major signs of sexual frustration.¡± Responded Lady Darkmind. ¡°I say, Master Brushstroke. Has Number One there signed the paperwork yet? Or is he still your subordinate who can play fetch?¡± Said Tiger Man. No, Tiger Man, is this because I pointed a gun at you? Come on! It was a mistake, don¡¯t do this! While thinking this I immediately looked at Master Brushstroke. I¡¯ve never begged in my life but I¡¯d like to believe that the look on my face was more pitiful than any beggar. ¡°I see where you¡¯re going with this. I did hear that Candid Valor had a dog. Number One why don¡¯-¡± Before he finished his sentence I took out my phone and began opening the Void Library app. Just when I was going to open the mail notifications, Lammergier stole my phone. I swear I don¡¯t regret killing his subordinate one bit. ¡°As I was saying. Number One go fetch Candid Valor¡¯s dog. Hegegegege¡± You gotta be kidding me. Dognapper Chapter 2 - Dognapper Edited by Get Back OLS ¡°Well? What are you waiting for? Go!¡± Said Master Brushstroke as he did his best to restrain his laughter. The other guests didn¡¯t even give me that small pittance and openly cheered at my misfortune. It¡¯s ridiculous. As I slunk away towards the main exit I could hear the party continuing at full speed behind me. Right now, I just feel like smashing Tiger Man¡¯s teeth while breaking all three of his legs. In a show of vain emotion I kick open the front door leading towards the outside world. The worst part is I still didn¡¯t get to get out of this ridiculous outfit! Walking into the abnormally dark street I separated my flashlight from my gun to guide my way. While walking down the street I suddenly realize I have no idea where I¡¯m going. Those assholes took my phone¡­ If I go back they¡¯ll probably have a good laugh at that too. I really don¡¯t want to do that. I¡¯ll just keep walking for now. Going to the corner of the road I notice a lot of bar patrons leaving their establishment with varying degrees of anger. I notice one particular fellow entering a dark alley. No doubt to take a piss. Well, it¡¯s time to share the love. Turning off my flashlight i quickly followed. As he relieved himself on the side of the bar¡¯s wall. Sneaking up behind him I hand chop the back of his neck and he falls into a puddle of his own piss. I quickly search his pants for his cell phone and then use his thumb to bring up a map to Candid Valor¡¯s home. I then consider going but too be honest I could use a change of clothes. So I separated him from his pants as well. The shirt was unusable since it was stained with his urine. So I¡¯ll leave him with it. After placing the pants over the suit i couldn¡¯t help but feel ridiculous as it was twice my size. Thankfully, he had a belt so it didn¡¯t outright fall off. Nothing ever goes right, sigh. Continuing down the road i make my way to Candid Valor¡¯s neighborhood. It used to be that superheroes were secretive about their families and their lives but nowadays you can find everything online and I mean everything. For example, what color underwear was Gelid Girl wearing when she went ice skating with her boyfriend two weeks ago? Trick question, she wasn¡¯t wearing any. Hence why I know. Now, villains may be a pile of crackpots and assholes but at least they understand the need for secrecy. They do take it a little far though. I heard of this one villain that made all his subordinates learn secret codes, handshakes, and passwords. Furthermore, he styles himself as a 1930¡¯s gangster, even talking like them. It sounds ridiculous but he¡¯s actually the drug kingpin that all the police are after. If you''re wondering how I know, it¡¯s simple, all subordinates love to bitch. We can¡¯t not do it. Everyday we put our lives on the line for a guy we don¡¯t believe in and with little to no chance of survival. If it weren¡¯t for the fact that the officially non-existent death squads would eliminate us almost everyone would leave. So yeah, we bitch. Passing through a neighborhood I notice how families are outside talking to neighbors, people are setting up their gas generators, and babies whose nightlights went out are crying. Alright, so Candid Valor has a point but I don¡¯t particularly care. Pretty soon the power company will redirect power and bam, problem solved. Also, who really needs electricity at 1am? Most of these people were probably woken up by their scared children. Before continuing on I see a dark home on the street corner. There is no one on the outside and no hum of a gas powered generator. The grass looks like it hasn¡¯t been cut in weeks and the mail is overflowing. So chances are they''re not home or they''re some of the laziest people ever. Sneaking to the back of the home I break the glass on the door and quickly reach in to unlock it. Walking in, I head straight to the kitchen and open the fridge. The rancid smell of rotten milk and fruits fills my nose. If I weren¡¯t in a desperate situation I wouldn¡¯t even burglarize this fridge. Even thieves have standards and no one likes a rotten fridge. Looking through it I spot a pack of hot dogs, taking it, I placed the hot dogs in my backpack. Then I search and find tape inside one of the cabinets also placing it in the backpack. After walking out the house I could hear varied screams about a man exiting the vacationing Robinson¡¯s house. Guess that¡¯s my cue to run. Running for about a mile I arrive at my destination. In front of me is a very large house with a bush that looks like a dog. Entering a paved path towards the dark house I could hear the low hum of a gas powered electric generator. The thing about electric generators is that they produce carbon monoxide and therefore it can¡¯t be place in an enclosed environment. Consequently, what most people do is put the generator in the garage, hook it up to the electricity for the house, and open the garage door. Candid Valor probably never believed anyone was bold (stupid) enough to burglarize (dognap) his home. Walking through the garage I notice the vintage 1920¡¯s Indian Motorcycle, Chief V-twin. I got to admit it looks pretty sweet, I¡¯ll be sure to try it out on my way out. Opening the garage door leading towards the house I can feel every squeak like an electric shock straight through my spine. Walking in I can hear a boring announcer talking about¡­ golf? In the entertainment room I snuck a glance and saw Candid Valor watching the Golf Channel at 1:30 in the morning. How bored does someone need to be to watch golf at 1:30 in the morning? I also notice he''s cuddling with a little brown dog. Noticing the dog I grew very scared. Small dogs are the worst because they''re the one¡¯s who bark at anything. Thankfully, I noticed Candid Valor was cuddling rather forcefully with the little dog. Soon enough I see Candid Valor loosen his grip and the little dog escapes. Then he sighs and says ¡°Pepper stay here, daddy¡¯s got a little business to take care of.¡± Cold sweat drips from my brow. The humidity in my suit feels like a pool. I unholster my gun and get ready to run. He, however, heads upstairs, enters a room, and locks the door. I can then hear light music playing from the room. Holstering my weapon I take my backpack and start unzipping it. Pepper hears it and begins to bark. Candid Valor then shouts from the room ¡°I¡¯ll be done soon Pepper, relax!¡± I hurried to take out the hot dogs and threw them at her. She began to devour them like there¡¯s no tomorrow. I ran up, got out the tape, and grabbed hold and overpowered her when out of nowhere I hear a woman shout. Fearfully I continue to tape the dog''s mouth shut while looking around. Then I continued to hear the woman but it wasn¡¯t shouting, it was moaning. I guess if I were listening to that at 1:30am I would scream a lot too. The forceful cuddling with the Pepper explains quite a bit. After taping her mouth shut I whispered ¡°trust me, you''re better off.¡± I stuffed Pepper into my backpack leaving a little opening for her to breath in. Before I left I searched around for his keys. I found his keys and they had a laminated picture of Pepper on the keychain. This guy takes dog lover to a whole different level. Riding his Indian I began to leave his house when I heard screaming coming from behind me. From the mirrors I could see Candid Valor in his boxers running on three legs. He wasn¡¯t fast enough to catch up though and I escaped with Pepper into the night. This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author''s work. While driving I could feel Pepper sticking her head out of the back pack. Probably enjoying the open air. If I ever get desperate enough to take out my frustrations on a dog I might as well kidnap someone. I¡¯m a villain afterall. I want a feisty redhead, no an airhead beach blonde, or even better a brunette with emerald eyes. Sigh, this is probably the number one way of getting killed for newly minted super villains. Also, being kidnapped by super villains is the origin story for roughly 60% of female super villains and 30% of heroines. Most of whom either killed or are currently seeking revenge against their former captors. It¡¯s a bad deal all around. The death rate for newly initiated super villains is already above 50% in the first two years. After that there is a steep increase in survival rate. A few other right hand men and I looked into it and attributed survival to the avoidance of five mistake. Mistake number one, kidnapping. Kidnapping opens up a long term case in the hero''s association that last as long as the kidnapee remains alive. It makes it so that as long as she lives there will be a hero out there with a hard-on for you. Worst part is that they are extremely experienced in tracking down new villains down and eliminating them. So, it¡¯s a really bad deal. Next mistake, fighting a super hero. After an initiate ¡®graduates¡¯ to super villain they always receive a special item if they don¡¯t already have super powers. This special item, while powerful, is not so strong that it can allow you to fight a veteran super hero right from the start. Doing so, is not overconfidence but flat out idiocy. The lucky die quickly and the rest get crippled and live out life sentences. The best thing to do is always to run or hide until one is is strong enough to guarantee victory. Third mistake, bad missions. The guild does not regulate missions for people aside from the extremely high level ones. So everyone can pick whatever mission they want most of the time. As it turns out most villains are extremely prone to risky behavior. Thusly, when they see a mission they, like gamblers, are more likely to only see the rewards and none of the dangers. In the case of the last initiate, that meant trying to steal top secret bioengineering info from the heroes guild and getting eaten by an experimental dinosaur. Fourth mistake, bad subordinates. Subordinates are ubiquitous in the world of villainy. Some of those very same subordinates become super villains if they play their cards right. After they become super villains though they promise themselves they will be much better bosses than their own assigned professional asshole. Thus, they treat their subordinates with ¡®kindness¡¯ and ¡®respect¡¯. Problem is that subordinates are villains too. So when the shit hits the fan if subordinates don¡¯t fear you they will throw you to the heroes to slow them down in order to get away. If it weren¡¯t for the fact I¡¯m pretty sure he took some precautionary measures, I would of sent Master Brushstroke to his death a long time ago. Fifth mistake, trusting other super villains. Super villains enjoy the sight of other people in pain, it¡¯s called schadenfreude. The last mistake any new super villain can make is believing the information provided to them by other super villains. Believing that info will not only make them a target of a hero, in the other super villain¡¯s plan but also a casualty. Furthermore, trusting any item given, such as a helmet, from them is enough to get one¡¯s head blown off. I still remember how three years ago a right hand man named Larry got a new transforming car from his former boss. His boss asked him to try it out and after making sure there were no bombs attached to it he got in. He then started the transformation sequence and poor Larry was turned into minced meat. It seems his previous boss ¡®forgot¡¯ to tell him not to transform while inside the car. This is the law of the jungle and if you don¡¯t become a lion then you''re food. Reaching the Maximillian Center I entered with Pepper in hand. The party was still going on at full bloom. I made my way to the entrees and began to devour them. Pepper whined like no tomorrow so I removed her tape and let her dig in too. After eating my fourth mini sandwich someone noticed that I survived and I think it was Mr. Anonymous who said ¡°Well I¡¯ll be a monkey¡¯s uncle, the kid did it.¡± Laughter and clapping soon spread throughout the room. ¡°See? I told you! Now hand over the phone and don''t forget to deposit the guild points¡± Master Brushstroke said. While he reached for the phone Lammergeier swiped it away teasing him with it and holding it behind his back. Master Brushstroke immediately tried to grab it while Lammergeier dodged. Sir Starmover then swiped the phone while saying ¡°Now, now you two. Stop behaving like children in public. Number One, here is your phone back. Also, head my suggestion and get rid of that dog as soon as possible. No doubt Candid Valor will hunt you down for as long as the case remains open. I don¡¯t think you want to be the first villain to be taken down for dognapping do you?¡± He then looked behind me. ¡°Oh, nevermind. Seems the problem ¡®solved¡¯ itself.¡± Turning I could see little Pepper choking on a toothpick. I was going to grab her but leaving her alive is just a bad idea. As long as she lives the case of her kidnapping remains open. If she dies then I just need to hide away for one month before the case expires. The beauty of the system, isn¡¯t? For villains a living kidnap victim is a much worse than a dead one. She only has herself to blame considering she was dumb enough to eat that toothpick. I grabbed my cellphone and begin to open the Void App. in it I find the document Madam Delphinium was talking about. The form opens up and asks me for me name. I then entered Number One and continued. It was as bureaucratic as it can get. It asked me my previous positions, experiences, where i would like to villainize, my preferred superpowers, any hero I have a vendetta against, and any hero that has a vendetta against me. It all seemed very long and tedious. Finally, i clicked submit for the form. However, it occurred to me that they never asked me for my new villain name. I voiced my concern saying ¡°when do I get to choose a new name?¡± A few of the guests looked at me funny, some snickered, and others laughed. Then Madam Delphinium replied ¡°Oh dear, that''s the very first question isn¡¯t it? Don¡¯t worry, the council has to approve villain names so there¡¯s a chance they will give you a new one.¡± However, despite laughing hysterically Lammergeier managed to spit out ¡°Fat chance! The council almost always goes with the name suggested by the new villain. So welcome to the club Number One!¡± Master Brushstroke came to my side while laughing. He then placed his hand on my shoulder saying ¡°I didn¡¯t know our time together meant so much to you. In your memory from now on I¡¯ll name my right hand man number two.¡± Fuck you. This is all you''re fault you sycophantic freak. Isn¡¯t your responsibility to explain all this to me? Instead, you throw a giant party I only spent five minutes at since immediately after I arrived you sent me on yet another suicide quest! As a newly minted super villain I was about to rage on him when three men wearing robes walked into the room carrying a large black box. My special item has arrived. A New Path Upon Shattered Glass Chapter 3 - A New Path Upon Shattered Glass Edited by Get Back OLS The room that was once filled with mocking laughter suddenly hushed. Even these Super Villains have people they fear and those people are their superiors. Elite super villains. A mountain that can¡¯t be climbed through tenure nor effort. Only deadly skill. These three men represent the peak of power, wealth, and prestige in our modern world. The robes they wear can at a moments notice turn them invisible and even absorb the impact from a 15 cm Howitzer. I envision myself one day standing amongst them wearing those same black and red robes. Far above these disgraces that call themselves villains. The gazes of all three converge upon me and I feel a massive killing intent flood my mind. Every hair on my body stands, a cold chill climbs up my spine, and my heart nearly explodes from how hard it is beating. ¡°Villain ID 48.48-02.07?¡± Coldly spoke the Elite Villain carrying a somewhat large box. ¡°Ye- Yes.¡± I managed to stutter out. He then threw me a box which I barely caught in time. ¡°Congratulations and yadi yadi yada. Try not to get yourself killed.¡± He then looked me over. I¡¯ve never regretted wearing a drunk man¡¯s pants more in my life. ¡°Well, that might be hard for you. So when death comes just try not to piss yourself¡­ again.¡± Looking down I noticed that the drunk man¡¯s aim was more terrible than i realized in the dark alley. ¡°Wait no. It''s not mine.¡± I tried to explain but he savagely interrupted ¡°Save it. I don¡¯t care about you. Let''s go.¡± Disdainfully, he then turned and walked away. Danm it, if he would''ve just stopped and listened then everything would be alright but my voice does not count for squat. I could feel Madam Delphinium¡¯s hand on my shoulder. ¡°It¡¯s alright, dear. Those boys are always like th-¡± Before she could finished I brushed off her hand. I held the box tightly before I stormed out the building. This whole night. Everything just went to crap. Master Brushstroke, if a hero doesn¡¯t kill you, I will. I will beat you to an inch of death then keep you around on a leash as a pet. When I tire of you only then will I give you the right to die. Continuing down the street I saw myself in the reflection off of a store window. Big words full of hot air. Frankly, I look like a mess. Beggars look better than me. Frustrated I hit the window with the box. The window shatters. Inside the store is filled with suits. The alarm fails to sound since the power outage was still in effect. Walking into the apparel store I went to the most expensive suit in the store. It could have been coincidence or a sign from a higher or more likely satanic power but it fit. It fit really well. Looking myself in the mirror I couldn''t help but feel some of my frustration lift. Exiting the store after taking some cufflinks in the shape of number ones I couldn¡¯t help but think about the motorcycle I left behind. I do need a ride but I think I could do better. I spot a luxury hotel and begin to walk towards the garage. The garage is manned by two to three people, even at night. Additionally, it has emergency power since the only way to move cars into the upper floors is through the elevators. I walked into the building and the receptionist, no doubt noticing my suit said politely, ¡°Hello sir, are you here to pick up your vehicle?¡± I quickly approached and said, ¡°yes, in fact, I am.¡± Before he could say anything further I reached for his head. Startled he tried to dodge but I still managed to grab hold and slam his head against the desk. I then stepped around the reception desk and pushed his unconscious body to the floor. Looking through the computer''s¡¯ car register, I spot what i wanted. I then clicked the retrieve command and begin to walk towards the inside of the garage. A large elevator opens up and the valet drives out a black Lamborghini Embolado. He then exited the car and threw me the keys saying ¡°She''s a beautiful ride, sir.¡± ¡°Thanks.¡± I replied as I catch the keys with my spare hand. I placed the box into the passenger seat as I drove off into the night. It was so early there was almost no traffic in the city. So I started to speed towards my residence. When I arrived at the run down apartment building I immediately felt disgusted. So I opened my void library app and browsed the real estate section of the market space. Upon becoming a supervillain the guild ¡®rewarded¡¯ me 1,000 guild points to begin my operations. Roughly translated into government currency a single guild point is worth $10,000. Using that money I purchase one of the several lairs the void app has for sale near my region. The whole process is as quick as pressing a button. I begin to drive from the city and start entering a more scenic road next to a cliff overlooking the ocean. The road is deserted and I drive at 140mph with a 185 foot drop right next to me. My heart beats hard not out of fear but excitement. As the sun rose I approached a large Mansion of Modern Architectural Design that overlooked the ocean. The manor would of looked as if made of glass if not for the few small white columns holding a diagonal roof. I entered the driveway and using the void app¡¯s ownership feature opened the gate. Entering I parked outside the front door. I then entered the house and saw what people killed and died for. Luxurie is a sin and the house exuded it. I tossed the box next to a fireplace not caring if what was inside broke. I then went up the stairs and saw a bed of white satin sheets. I fell down lifelessly upon it and could feel the softness of the bed like clouds. Even before I could feel hot the A/C began operating almost completely silently. No doubt the house is equipped with thermal detectors, some of which are used to adjust the A/C to my body temperature. The lights dimmed down on their own and the windows I thought were translucent glass suddenly became dark tinted. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. I wake up and stretch on the king sized bed. I begin to wonder what i should make for breakfast before I take out my phone and look at the time, 3pm. It¡¯s very late but I don¡¯t worry about that. Instead I notice the three red messages I received. Red messages are important notices given by the guild. Anything from a non-negotiable mission to a kill order can be contained inside. The first message contained information on the various crimes I committed yesterday and the monetary cost for each. The crimes range from destruction of property to assault. Monetarily the totals of the crimes cost reaches a staggering 2.3 million dollars. The two main contributing factors are the blackout, which I am somehow ¡®partially¡¯ responsible for, and the lamborghini. The second message states that the guild charges a non-negotiable 20% fee on all ¡®free¡¯ crimes committed by its members. Free crimes being the crimes that are not directly related to a guild mission. I have therefore been charged 56 guild points. Opening the last message I found out that I am currently negative 17 guild points because of the mansion using up most of my points and the free crime charge. Lastly I have now been forced to take a loan on the 17 guild points with 10% daily interest. The villain¡¯s guild really are criminals to charge that rate. That means every day I don¡¯t pay I will owe $17,000 not counting compounding¡­ Wait! I then opened the void app and checked my current balance. I am now in debt of 18.7 guild points. I almost threw my phone as I shouted ¡°Fucking Crooks¡± at the top of my lungs. I get up and go to the kitchen downstairs and try to grab a glass of water. However, there is neither food nor kitchenware. All I can find are some hard candies I found inside a bowl. I then start to take deep breaths in order to calm myself. Eating one and stuffing the other¡¯s into my pocket, I can finally feel myself begin to think rationally about the situation. There are a few ways to resolve the situation. I can sell the mansion or the lamborghini. Selling either of them immediately will be for 70% of market value. Meaning i will lose 30% of what I paid for the house or the value of the lamborghini. These properties are all considered ¡®hot¡¯ or stolen/illegal properties. Therefore a charge of 30% is made by the void app to immediately purchase them. I can also sell them myself for the full value but that takes time. Time that the interest has to increase exponentially. Another option is simply to steal. Expensive cars are easy to steal as long as one knows how. The same is true for most properties. The problem is I will always face the same charge for selling properties on the void app. As well as the time it takes for the guild to send an agent to pick up the car/property. There is one situation where no charge will be taken though and that is stealing cash. Stealing cash is much harder though since it''s always heavily guarded. The last option is to take a guild mission. Guild Missions are very well paid in terms of guild points. Also, they could potentially reward with rare minerals, items, technologies, information, and access. Guild missions are divided in ten levels based on difficulty but some rumors of off the books missions that are very lucrative. I once saw on the board a guild mission that reward information on a pocket dimension. Meaning, the person that gets that info can rule an entire dimensional space. However, it was a level 10 mission so far beyond my reach. All members can challenge any mission on the board, except level eight and higher since they are for elite only. If a person on a mission does not come in contact with the guild in a month''s time they will be considered deceased and no rescue mission will be attempted. Completing missions not only grants monetary but also increases a villains rating depending on difficulty. Lastly, all guild members of the supervillain level must acquire a minimum amount of 50 guild points to service their annual fees. Despite the lucrative nature it is very hard to become wealthy on guild missions. Guild missions always take time, preparation, and resources in order to accomplish. Resources like henchmen, which I can¡¯t afford anymore. The guild sets out a free 1,000 guild points not just to reward but assist new Super Villains in affording henchmen and other necessities, like weapons. Effectively, most supervillains sink most of their money into buying new henchmen and bigger and badder guns. Furthermore, guild missions are virtually guaranteed to have interference from the heroes guild. Making the danger very real. Therefore, as it stands now stealing is the best option. I¡¯m unwilling to just give up my lamb or my house and guild missions take too much time. However, if I don¡¯t want to be crushed by interest I have to leave right now. Frustrated and hungry I walk to the front door and remember the box next to the fireplace. Stepping over, I open the box and find a black scepter with a glass globe on top with what looks like a small spiral galaxy inside. I look for a piece of paper that I then scan with the void app to bring up a description of the scepter. Item: QST Model Scepter 000083 Class: Experimental Constituent(s): Description: The Quantum State Teleporter as the name implies teleports the user or anything in a 4 foot radius of the top of the scepter to a predetermined location. The scepter works by stabilizing the quantum particles that constitute matter and then influencing them into a controlled excited state that maximises the probability of quantum teleportation. Normally this would cause the disintegration of whatever is being teleported as all the quantum particles would teleport randomly. However, using the particles are controlled and can be moved in unison to the top of the quantum stabilizer. Needs to be charged for 48 hours after every use. This¡­ This is amazing. Teleportation! With this I can do almost anything. It¡¯s the perfect life line as I can use it to escape nearly every situation. Of course I can¡¯t let people approach me or the will be teleported along with me but if I can step into a bank vault¡­ then vanish. Cant Trust Old Men Chapter Four - Can¡¯t Trust Old Men Edited by Get Back OLS I felt like rich kid on christmas morning but I forced myself to calm down. Its 3:15pm right now. I double check the time by using a website just to be sure its not working on the old time adjusted by Brush Stroke. It will roughly take 45 minutes to drive into the city. With the Scepter I can teleport out of any situation. However, it has an obvious weakness. It teleports everything 4 feet away from the sphere on top of the scepter. So if I engage in close combat and the person fighting me is standing right next to me, then they will be teleported too. However, the way I read this is if any part of their body is not within the sphere it will not be teleported along with the body. So this can be an incredible weapon as will. So I got one badass power. The problem is I can¡¯t steal anything large since it won¡¯t be completely teleported. I would also need to be right next to whatever I¡¯m stealing. This is also a get away device. I still need to approach whatever I¡¯m stealing, preferably undetected. If I could have a stealth field¡­ I opened the Void Library App¡¯s market section and start looking for stealth technologies. Every type of stealth is available from sonar to thermal. However, what I need is optical. Applying the filter I then sort by price level and¡­ That is absurd. The cheapest price is 400 guild points for 10 square feet of see through fabric. It does not even turn a person invisible but it is still 400 guild points! That''s 4 million dollars! I try to back out of the void library app but I get barraged by advertisements. I could always buy the advertisement free model but it¡¯s ridiculously expensive, that¡¯s criminals for you. While closing the ad I read a bit of it. One of them was advertising a potion to give super powers with only a 90% mortality rate! Another was from a Dr. Seismic advertising his superhuman surgery only 999 credits! The last was advertisement for a mission to steal the royal crown display in the Fremont Museum. Sounds nice but only idiots go for it, those things are locked down tighter than the Queen¡¯s vagina. Even the wording they use is meant for the stupid. ¡°Want to make an instant 100 million dollars? Be known throughout the world as the number one thief? Impress everyone, even the haters, with your skills and daring? Then this is the mission for you!¡± Yea right, those jewels have hundreds of armed security guards just waiting to pounce on whoever is dumb enough to try and leave with them¡­ 10,000 guild points is a lot of money though. I¡¯ll just check the mission specifics for now. Opening the mission I am redirected to the to the Void Libraries¡¯ Mission section. There I find a host of information about the Freemont Museum including a complete blueprint and biographical information on the personnel. However, The display ends tonight since it is on loan from England. The Fremont has operating hours between 8am and 7pm. Since its downtown, including traffic, that would be roughly one and a half hours. I can do this. 100,000,000 million dollars just for a crown. I need to be careful though. My face might not be well known yet but if I do this I won''t be able to step in public again without plastic surgery. However, my new lair should have a standard bad guy laboratory at the very least. If I remember correctly it also has a household computer interface AI called ¡°Peter?¡± I asked loudly when a mechanical voice that would best belong to a very hairy man with a thick russian accent said ¡°Yes, comrade?¡± As he said this, the old USSR anthem played in the background. I think the politics and nationality of the previous tenant are abundantly clear. I think I should personalize it a bit. ¡°Are there any voice options?¡± ¡°You can change the background music, sound effects, volume, tone, and gender of the voice. However, if you wish to make more specific changes you can upload your own program or buy the world voice package from the Void Library, celebrity voices included.¡± Peter answered. ¡°What was that? An advertisement? How do I get rid of that?¡± I asked incredibly annoyed. A million dollar house is selling me advertisements after I bought it, I am surrounded by assholes. ¡°This voice model including the alternate female version came included with the house, comrade. However, the guild owned this home while it was for sale. Thusly, they altered my mannerisms to include the occasional advertisement when appropriate.¡± ¡°Delete all mannerism changes made. Also, switch voice model to female and get rid of the background music.¡± ¡°Will do comrade.¡± said a sexy mechanical voice with a thick russian accent. It''s not bad. Although I do prefer the standard english accent or at least what I thought was standard. ¡°I rename you¡­ Anastesia.¡± ¡°Thank you, it''s a lovely name.¡± I hope that¡¯s a female only mannerism. Just imagining the burly voice saying it gives me the creeps. ¡°Could you direct me towards the secret lab?¡± ¡°Certainly, please step into the fireplace.¡± The fireplace was currently lit with a very large fire. ¡°Uh¡­ what do you mean?¡± I asked perplexed. ¡°The fireplace is a hologram. Since you feel uncomfortable I will turn it off, comrade.¡± The fire instantly disappeared revealing a stairway leading to the basement. Technically speaking, a villain¡¯s lair is under the protection of the guild but it''s always best to be cautious. Entering the very large basement I couldn¡¯t help but be reminded of a hospital with white lights and the combined smell of bleach with a hint of death. Continuing onward I asked Anastesia ¡°Is there a 3d printer anywhere?¡± Anastesia then answered ¡°There is a high speed industrial 3d printer inside room 32.¡± I looked around but there are only 10 doors. ¡°Where¡¯s room 32?¡± ¡°It¡¯s on the third floor of the laboratory. Please use the elevator at the end of the hallway on right.¡± I continued down the hallway looking towards my right and lo and behold there is in fact an industrial elevator. I then entered it pressing the third floor button. As the rather fast elevator speeded downwards I could hear the elevator ¡®music¡¯ come on. Surprisingly, it''s heavy metal. The fellow that owned this previously was a bit weird, I¡¯ll change it later. Exiting on the 3rd floor I could see two doors, 31 and 32 respectively. Entering 32 it was as if I walked into a giant empty warehouse. I really need to explore the other rooms in this lair later. Towards the back of the warehouse there was a whole bunch of technological widgets and machines that I couldn¡¯t recognize. However, there was one I did. It was size of a semi truck and had a sophisticated technological feel to it. I would think it was some sort of alien machine if not for the conveyor belt attached. I opened the computer and found the blueprints section, which was unsurprisingly empty. ¡°How much to purchase the basic package from Void?¡± Master Brushstroke may not have been a good villain but at least he had one of these along with the basic package. ¡°It will cost 100 guild points.¡± ¡°What!?¡± I nearly coughed up my lung with how loud I shout that. ¡°The package includes more than 10,000 blueprints for various devices. If comrade finds it inconvenient then we can purchase individual blueprints from the basic package for 1 guild point each.¡± No doubt I will never use 9900 of those blueprints. However, it¡¯s still best if I use the basic package since it not only includes blueprints but design algorithms, which is what I really need. Sigh, ¡°purchase it.¡± I said in a weary tone. ¡°Caution comrade. Purchasing this package will place you 100 guild points further into debt. Are you certain?¡± The AI warned me in an all too charming voice. ¡°Yes, I¡¯m certain.¡± ¡°The transaction has been completed.¡± I could literally feel the pain in my wallet. I then refreshed the blueprints page and found exactly 10,001 blueprints. Everything from dolls to miniature helicopters. I have something more specific in mind though. I searched and found a plastic gun modeled after the desert eagle. I imputed the command to make one and it warned me it would take roughly 35 minutes as I also ordered it to create the molds for faster printing next time. If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement. I then talked to Anastesia ¡°Do you have access to the facial mask model algorithm?¡± ¡°Yes, would you like me to create a mask for you?¡± Anastesia inquired. ¡°Make one based on my facial features with slight changes to the bone structure. Additionally, age the mask¡¯s facial features by 50 years.¡± ¡°Right away, the order has been queued successfully. the mask is displayed on the computer screen.¡± I then looked at the computer display and the face staring back at me was familiar, wrinkled, and honestly somewhat ugly. I really do hope I age better than that. ¡°When will it be ready?¡± I asked the AI. ¡°Both orders will be complete in one hour and 23 minutes.¡± She or rather it responded. ¡°Thanks, Anastasia. Order and pay a cab to arrive five minutes after that.¡± ¡°Certainly, any particular destination in mind?¡± Anastasia answered. ¡°The Fremont Museum.¡± -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- While exiting the cab I do everything in my power not to scratch my face. I pretend to be old, which is in a way pretending to be a hunchback as I walk with my back bent down somewhat. As the cab driver pulls away he says ¡°Thanks for generous tip!¡± I wonder how much did Anastasia tipped him. Anyways the glue keeping the mask on my face is really itchy or it could just be the fact my real face is sweating profusely in this heat. Likely, it''s a combination of both. I began to climb the stairway up to the Fremont Museum, which is of classical greco-roman design. Its really large though, the columns on the front are tall enough to span a small river. While going up the stairs, using the cane like one would a crutch, I saw a troop of school children in front of me. Thankfully, it¡¯s 5:53pm so they are on their way out. However, one of them looks at me as I climb up the stairs. ¡°Hey mister, do you need some help?¡± A cheery seven or eight year old boy asked. No doubt he has parents who placed him in the boy scouts or the like. I immediately did my best to collect phlegm in the back of my throat. In a tone best described as a fusion of truck driver and a chronic smoker I said, ¡°Why, thank you but I think I¡¯ll have to decline. Here have some candy.¡± I then reach into my pocket, get one of the hard candies I had for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and hand it to him. Receiving the candy he says, ¡°Thanks mister!¡± He then looks at my hands giving them a weird look before scampering off to his little group. Crap, I completely forgot about the hands. It¡¯s too late now. It¡¯s very easy to approach a museum exhibit when it''s in time for it to be displayed. However, there¡¯s a lot of crowds and guards ready to making the escape nearly impossible. At night, however, there is less security presence in the form of guards but it¡¯s much harder to approach undetected because of all the hidden countermeasures, such as thermal cameras. Frankly, it''s near impossible to enter into a highly secured area since they use a wide variety of these sorts of countermeasures. Making it so that even if there are a few guards they are still used effectively to suppress any wannabe thief. Thankfully, I have the ultimate cheat. Entering into the museum I am surrounded by a huge crowd despite there only being a single hour left before closing time. I then get in line before the metal detector and after a minute or two am asked by the security guard to take everything metal off and place it into the conveyor belt. I then say, ¡°Alright, but my cane has a lot of metal inside to produce the hologram in the sphere. I hope you don¡¯t mind.¡± ¡°It¡¯s alright, sir. Just place it on the conveyor belt. Do you need assistance?¡± ¡°No thank you, I still got a bit of strength in these old bones.¡± I then made a show of my ¡®endurance¡¯ as I place the scepter on the conveyor belt while feigning weakness. As I pass through the metal detector I leave my hands in my pocket while watching the facial features of the person on the conveyor belt. His eyes furrowed for a minute but he still let it through. Thankfully, people tend to trust their elders. Grabbing it with fake patience I then set out to the display. The Fremont Museum has a number of displays ranging from neanderthal skulls to medieval weaponry. Essentially, they have a displays on quite a few ancient cultures and time periods. Of course, they have permanent displays on the more known cultures, such as Romans and Chinese, but they also rotate special exhibits for less known cultures, such as Celtic and Incan. Overall, it is an anthropologist''s wet dream. As i pass a wax native Hawaiian canoeing across the ocean I see the start of the line for the English exhibit. This¡­ Will I get there before the museum closes? As time flowed by quickly, the glue and sweat mixture hidden by the mask has brought me to a new level of uncomfortable. I check the time on my phone and¡­ only 30 minutes left till the exhibit closes. I feel rushed and frustrated. As far as I know, I¡¯m the only villain that has ever been foiled by a line. However, I can rush this. The crux of this operation is maintaining invisibility by blending in. If I make a disturbance now the guards will have more than enough time to react. So, I got to make the line. Just at the 7 minute mark, I saw a huge group of school children exiting the display. Why are school kids out this late! I never hated school field trips more than I do now. With them gone the line quickly shortened and I could finally see a glimpse of the display. Unfortunately, all around the display was a mob trying to take pictures including a few attempting to take perspective pictures to make the person look as if they were wearing the crown. I did not hesitate and begin to push my way through the crowd. People were of course bothered by it but aside from a few looks of disdain and grunts no one reacted much. As I approached a square cement column with a glass display in the middle. I could see the crown jewels inside the glass. I then approached the red rope barrier keeping people from being too close, about two feet from the display. Then a security guard said ¡°Five minutes to closing. Please begin to leave the display now.¡± Inwardly I was grimacing even though no facial expression were shown on my face. However, I stuck to my plan. I began to force myself to cough loudly. As i coughed the people near me backed away. Amidst the ¡°are you alrights?¡± and the well wishes I jumped the rope. I took out my gun and shot in the air saying, ¡°EVERYONE RUN! HE HAS A GUN!¡± People began scream and rush out the room when the security pressed the panic button. A dead drop formed underneath the jewels. Before they could fall I pressed the button on the scepter. Time instantly stood still. I couldn¡¯t even blink much less move my fingers. Everything was pitch black. I could even feel my thoughts beginning to slo- ¡°Ow¡± Instantly I was barraged by intensely bright light as I fell foward to cement that was strangely tipping at a roughly 45 degree angle. After, I recollected myself I realize I was in my lair with a piece of the Fremont Museum. Side Story: Melancholy of Destruction GetBackOLS wrote the prelude of this side story, ''Side Story: Prelude to Destruction'', in his novel "Rise of the Henchmen." Side Story: Melancholy of Destruction Edited By GetBackOLS Crossing the street, a man wearing a torn straight jacket fit right in with the convention goers of the popular movie franchise named ¡°Heroic Insanity.¡± However, unlike these revelers, this man is an actual recently escaped mental patient, Mark Jones. As he crosses the street while the pedestrian light was green, he couldn¡¯t help but breathe in the air around him. He was indeed feeling a form of catharsis, his smile was so pure it could even make angels cry. The sun gave him warmth he thought lost and he could not help but ponder why so many rushed about. In his mind, he found the other people who likewise wore strait jackets to be rather childish. The blood splatter on their clothes, cheap imitations, and their messy hair, uncleanly. He did not take offense to this however. Rather, he found it enjoyable to watch as children role played things they had little to no idea about. Much like watching toddlers pretend a box was a spaceship to the moon. However, his perfect scenery and state of mind was tossed onto the floor along with an empty can of soda. A middle-aged man on his way to the convention were his friends were waiting finished drinking a can of Dakota Star, an unpopular orange soda. This particular man was dressed in the same style as the arch villain of the third and most unpopular movie villain of the franchise, ¡®Green Hat¡¯ with a green overcoat, a frayed suit, and a large green hat. In his haste to join his friends he tossed the can of Dakota Star into a trashcan outside of the convention center. However, his aim was bad at best. As it landed, Mark Jones¡¯ seemingly transcended serenity instantly shattered with it metallic clink. His eyes wandered to the can and then back to the fellow wearing the green hat. The fellow was waiting for the pedestrian light just across the convention center. Mark Jones¡¯ then spoke up, ¡°Pick it up.¡± With the various conversations happening on the street no one paid his words any mind. However, he felt slighted as if his words carry no weight. He then repeated himself, this time with more emphasis, ¡°Pick It Up.¡± At this several convention goers began to pay him heed and silence spread like a wave. Almost instantly everyone but the man with the green hat had their eyes glued on Mark Jone¡¯s and the man with the green hat. Mark Jones then approached the middle aged man wearing a green hat and as if sensing danger he made an abrupt turn to look back. Mark Jones¡¯ a full foot taller than him, stared at the skinny fellow as one would the mosquito that bit him and said, ¡°PICK. IT. UP.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± responded the man with the very tacky hat. It is important to mention that the fellow with the green hat has long been a contrarian, which is to say he enjoys actively opposing others and their viewpoints. As long as something is popular, he believes it should be unused and that it¡¯s ¡®overhyped.¡¯ If something is unpopular then it must be that people are ignorant and can¡¯t fathom true ¡®artwork.¡¯ Needless to say, he actively enjoys annoying people and especially, in his case, to death. This was, sadly, unknown to Mark Jones. Mark Jones then forcefully pointed at the can of empty orange soda. The fellow in the green hat, however, began to laugh. ¡°Gehehehe, what are you some sort of avenging hero of the littering police? Let me tell you something! The city hires people to clean up the streets on a regular basis. These people are not paid much but it''s steady work. Now, what would happen if I do pick it up? What if everyone does so? Then the city would no longer need these fine underpaid men and therefore they would be made unemployed. So I ask you, why do you hate jobs?!? You think you''re better than others and their work in meaningless? Huh?!¡± As far as the man with the green hat is concerned, Mark Jones was just another busy body who is angered too easily. That is to say, the man with the tacky green hat viewed him as prey for him to play around with as a cat would a mouse. Indeed, he was correct. Mark Jones is easily angered. If he were a normal person he would have blown up with rage at the irresponsible and reprehensible words spoken by the tacky man but he is not a normal person. Instead he smiled. It was as if a man was looking at his own child mature and enter into society a proper individual. A kind of bittersweet happiness as he knows the child is gone and the man has grown. With a tender heart he placed his hand on the man¡¯s shoulder and said, ¡°A man should take responsibility over their words and actions.¡± To everyone else, Mark Jones had a smile the exuded warmth and kindness but the man in the shabby suit couldn¡¯t help but feel coldness and cruelty. Life was hard for the messy man. From being born in an orphanage to having to steal in order to make a living. In his life he has experienced many beatings. From his caretakers and his enemies alike. However, this made him immune to the fear from the threat of violence from others but one omission and that was Mrs. Wessington, the director of the orphanage. Mrs. Wessington was an avid believer of the concept of ¡®tough love¡¯ and she did her best to educate the children in her charge to the best of her abilities. However, all things have exceptions. Mr. and Mrs. Wessington were always romantics and their love was incredibly deep and could be described as always being together. Growing up together as neighbors to living together when Mr. Wessington¡¯s parents passed away to polio. Some of the final victims of the disease. Thankfully, their child, Mr. Wessington, was immunized. The family¡¯s friends and neighbors then took him in. Although he no longer had parents he still had a significant fortune left from the Wessington estate but despite the makings for a cheap drama he grew up well later married Mrs. Wessington, the family¡¯s only daughter. There was one issue, however, and that was Mrs. Wessington was barren. This was a soul crushing shock to the couple who always been together. One must know that before they found out they were planning to have a rather large family. Even going so far as to buying a mansion so give room to all their future children. This couple survived the shock but still felt a bit of emptiness in the large mansion. Rather than downsize the family they decided to open an orphanage. They hired many staff and took charge of many children. Although not their own they still treated all those within their mansion as family. However, this would not last. Clair Osborne was Mrs. Wessington¡¯s secretary. In the time and age those types of employment were lifelong and needless to say Ms. Osborne and Mrs. Wessington were quite close. In their seemingly perfect life lied a deep seated regret and guilt within Mrs. Wessington¡¯s heart. In her opinion she denied Mr. Wessington the opportunity to be a father and shared this regret with her friend Ms. Osborne. Together they formed an idea, that Ms. Osborne can bear Mr. Wessington¡¯s child and then the Wessington¡¯s could adopt him/her. Mr. Wessington, who indeed wanted his own child also agreed after much prodding. Perhaps this arrangement could have worked if not for one thing, love. In the course of millions of years of evolution, all mammals have developed a deep seeded love for one¡¯s own children. This love can be twisted, suppressed, and even ignored but not extinguished. When Ms. Osborne saw the infant child in her arms she felt regret at the agreement and decided to break it. However, Mr. Wessington could not leave it at that, this was his child after all. Furthermore, human children are intensive and Ms. Osborne, being an orphan herself, didn¡¯t have much support in raising him. Therefore, she was forced to rely on Mr. Wessington and his money while Mr. Wessington did all he could to convince her to follow the original contract. Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation. In Mr. Wessington¡¯s ideal world this child would be his and his wife¡¯s. However, the world is not ideal, rather, it¡¯s tacky, much like a green hat. In the end Mr. Wessington and Ms. Osborne were arguing while driving one rainy night and like so many before died in a frontal collision with another car. The little boy in the back seat survived in, what was in that era, a newly invented baby car seat. However, Ms. Osborne being an orphan and his father being ¡®unknown¡¯ he was placed in the care of the local orphanage, under the dutiful Mrs. Wessington. When Mrs. Wessington saw the child who should have been hers, the one that nearly destroyed her marriage, the child of the one who betrayed her but most of all her own failure as a woman in her care she smiled. Thus he knew just what kind of coldness laid in that smile. He immediately moved to remove Mark¡¯s hand but before he was quickly punched in the stomach into the traffic on the street. He flew a full 5 feet before crashing into a moving semi-truck. People everywhere began to stop their vehicles. The truck driver exited the vehicle and went around to look at the messy body. With the indent made to the semi-truck no average person could be expected to be alive but he was not average. He took in a large painful breath and then puked his guts out as he fell on the floor. Mark Jones slowly approached him. He looked up and he managed to stutter out, ¡°what are you doing?¡± Mark Jones once again thought for a minute and said ¡°taking out the trash.¡± The man who lost his green hat began to laugh, ¡°As if I¡¯m going to die to such a lousy pun.¡± He then stood up and took out a paint brush. He aimed the paint brush at Mark Jones and twisted the end and with a little explosion the bristles turned into flying needles inserting themselves into Mark Jones and a few other spectators. Before this had happened they thought they were in a live movie shooting, which came with a bit of disappointment at the return of Green Hat. After, their fellow spectators, friends, and love ones fell and began to enter anaphylactic shock they realized the true matter. Screams and panic rang through the streets. Many called the police while others dragged the victims away from the madmen in the middle of the street. However, as if oblivious to the pain of others the tacky man began to say, ¡°Gehehehe! Taste the seven colored poison of I Master Brushstroke! Regret crossing my path as you enter an oblivion of pain.¡± Mark Jones body was in extreme pain. Furthermore, His skin randomly discolored and turned into a blotch painting of the colors of the rainbow. However, he was not perturbed in the slightest instead he began to flex his muscles throughout his body. Slowly the needles were being pushed out and some went flying right next to Master Brushstroke. Master Brushstroke, however, felt fear deep in his bones at the inhuman feat. He quickly got out his cell phone and made a call, ¡°It¡¯s me. I¡¯m still outside you all need-¡­ LET ME FINISH. You all need to get out here now! There¡¯s a crazy mutant that¡¯s trying to kill me! Lammergier quit being a dick and come out now!¡± He hanged up the phone and said ¡°Fuck. The friends I have.¡± Meanwhile, Mark Jones already removed 70% of the needles and was quickly finishing up the process. Master Brushstroke began to take out multi-colored bottles from his green overcoat and throw them at Mark Jones. One landed on his face but aside from a little steam and redness not much more happen. ¡°Fuck!¡± screamed Master Brushstroke, ¡°That was enough acid to melt a hole in a battleship! What the fuck are you!?¡± With a peng the last needle was ejected from Mark Jones body. He then straightened himself and said, ¡°Rather than what it is whom. I am Phanuel. Here to redeem you.¡± Just as he finished speaking a man and woman in a mental hospital¡¯s nurses¡¯ costume along with a man shaped tiger wearing a purple suit like the movie villain in the first ¡®Heroic Insanity¡¯ movie. The male nurse at seeing the distressed Master Brushstroke began to laugh, ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Can¡¯t handle a single mental patient by yourself?¡± ¡°Just shut up and help, Lammergier.¡± Lammergier then began to levitate off the ground and took a silenced handgun hidden in his uniform. With a calm composed look as if the world was under his control he shot Phanuel in the back of his head saying, ¡°There, problem sol-.¡± Suddenly a blue sedan was sent flying and crashed into him. The bullet broke through Phanuel¡¯s skin but not his skull. It did serve to enrage him though as the cold look he had throughout his fight with Master Brushstroke gained an even deeper murderous glint. Lammergier crashed with the car on top of him. However, thanks to multiple body enhancing surgeries and experiments he managed to barely survive although unconscious. Phanuel then punched the startled Tiger Man into the window of a nearby car and slowly began walking towards the nurse and the tacky man, who were stepping back. Master Brushstroke then screamed at the nurse as he pulled out tiny paint bottles, ¡°Madam Delphinium call everyone right now!¡± ¡°Oh dear, It will take them hours to get to this city. I fear it will be far too late by then.¡± Responded the nurse as she tossed strange seeds on the ground. Master Brushstroke began to throw the paint bottles at Phanuel both with ominous multicolored smoke arising while saying, ¡°What about your new boyfriend?! Lord zik, cek¡­ Zek! Lord Zek!¡± Madam Delphinium then pulled out a phone and began to make a call. However, Phanuel was upon Master Brushstroke who¡¯s back was against a truck. Phanuel then smiled and said, ¡°Fear not child. For this is for your own good.¡± Just when he was about to punch a hole in Master Brushstroke Tiger Man roared as he tore flesh from Phanuel¡¯s back with his claws. Phanuel did not panic but instead turned around and grabbed Tiger Mans arm. Before he could dislocate it strange red vines grew across his body and entered his wounds, causing so much pain even Phanuel screamed. He began to tear away at the vines but they seemed to grow just as fast as he could break them. Tiger Man also began to slash away and Master Brushstroke continued to use every kind of insidious poison he managed to tuck away in his tacky green overcoat. Phanuel¡¯s eyes grew bloodshot defending against the different opponents until he shouted, ¡°enough!¡± With his scream a blood red bubble appeared around him with him at the center. It then exploded with incredible heat and force. Tigerman was sent into a nearby car partially bald and charred. The plants were eradicated and there was no longer any smoke from Master Brushstroke¡¯s poison. Phanuel was tired though. Nearly exhausted he once again stood and approached the villains. Master Brushstroke and Madam Delphinium threw everything they had left at him. However, Phanuel was having none of it. His speed suddenly increased massively and he appeared right in front of Madam Delphinium were he punched her so hard her into a nearby store window, shattering it. Her once graceful face now bloodily disfigured. Master Brushstroke felt cold raw fear and began to run for it. Phanuel was far faster though. He caught the little runaway by the arm and tossed him like a Frisbee. As soon as he crashed into the ground unconscious Phanuel was going to kick him like a football when Lord Zek appeared. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GetBackOLS will be writing the conclusion of the fight in his side story Zek Fight for the novel, "Rise of the Henchmen".