《A Hero's Common Sense》


 Prologue - Mighty Warrior, Truck-man!

    It was a story as old as the humanity itself.


    A noble hero that always remains victorious.


    A demonic villain that always perishes.


    An eternal conflict between two opposites.


    Honestly, at this day and age, people still love to abuse such utterly hopeless concept, twisting the original formula in an attempt to be creative. In my eyes, they are pointless to the core.


    A hero that consists of nothing but faults won¡¯t be any better than a hero that lacks them, and a ¡°hero¡± that does more harm than the main villain cannot be even called so.


    A villain that always acts righteous is the same. In fact, the audience may even cheer for him more, which is, in my opinion, not a good thing. However, an opposite is even worse. If a villain¡¯s motivation can be described as ¡°bad because he is bad¡± that is a no, too.


    It is good to sometimes stray from basic premise, but an overcooked dish is still an overcooked dish. As one once said, if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck, and same goes for boring stories.


    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.That said, I still love such kind of stories. In the world where you cannot discern between black and white, such naivety is refreshing in its own way. Heh, what kind of a tsundere character I am?


    I always prided myself on always being rational. It is no surprise that I was known as the Poker Face Yamada during my middle school days. Nowadays, I am called only chief executive Yamada and nothing more.


    Ah, it is that late, huh? I said, while passing the crosswalk. As if agreeing with me, street light shined upon my costume-clad form. Behold, a very model of an office plankton is right before you. Name is Yamada Satoru, thirty years old and still single, much to my parents¡¯ dismay.


    Suddenly, as if it was the work of fate, a truck appeared out of nowhere, moving at the high speed. I could clearly see the face of a driver, who appeared to be dead. My last thoughts were: ¡°So this is that kind of a story, eh?¡± After this, tons of steel slammed into my body, leaving an angry red mark behind.


    Yet again, truck gained an outstanding victory against a common man. Go, mighty warrior, Truck-man!

 Chapter One - I wont turn this into an 18+ novel

    As I wake up, an unfamiliar softness of a cushion I¡¯ve never seen before greets me. It¡¯s certainly strange since I don¡¯t own any western beds, preferring traditional futon more: I am a Japanese person through and thorough. And yet, I am currently lying on a wooden bed, under soft and warm covers.


    I squirm a bit, and finally manage to sit. I look around to see the room better. It is small, even smaller than my apartments, and decorated with nothing but wood. It feels more like a cottage than a place where you can live all the time. I see some furniture, like a cabinet and a table ¨C all made of, as you can guess, wood. I guess, the owner of this house is either a carpenter or some kind of an eccentric furniture lover.


    I hear the door open: its hinges seem to be really old. An old man enters. He looks like a magician with a long white beard and dressed into strange robes. He eyes me, and a kind smile blossoms on his wrinkled face. He must one of those kind gramps, who give children candies for free.


    ¡°Hello, little miss. Are you feeling quite well?¡±


    Ah, even his voice sounds gentle, but with a hint of steel inside. Honestly, he is the very model of a fantasy old man who takes care of a story¡¯s protagonist. However, who is this ¡°little miss¡± he is talking to. I am certainly no ¡°miss¡± and it¡¯s not like I can be mistaken for one: I am a man of a tall stature with boorish, but masculine face and hair too short to be considered androgynous.


    That is, until I slip a hand under covers and check what is exactly between my legs. I, much to my distress, find nothing at all. Well, I do find something, but this will instantly turn it into an 18+ novel, so I prefer not to speak about my nether regions. However, the fact is that I am, despite all the odds, female.


    Obviously, I react by emanating a rather loud shout of ¡®eh!¡¯ and shattering the old man¡¯s eardrums, as he starts to shiver in pain. In my defense, it was the first thing my anxious mind could do. I need a mirror, so I try to stand from the bed, and find one, only to trip, as my legs were too weak to support me.


    The old man somehow manages to catch me, moving in a flash from his place near the door to me. He holds me as if I weight nothing. Man, that old man certainly has some moves up in his sleeves, isn¡¯t he? Normally, characters like him serve as mentor and parental figures, while also providing information about the outside world for the hero.


    ¡°You got a nice set of lungs, little miss. However, your body is not up to match: it took almost a week for our local healer to patch you. It¡¯s a good thing that elves like you have such a strong affinity for magic, but don¡¯t strain yourself this early¡±


    As he says this, the old man puts me back on the bed, adjusting pillows so I could sit on them comfortably while talking to him. However, something he said before bothers me a bit.


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    ¡°Elves like me¡± he says? I touch my ears and find that they are quite long, longer than those of a human. Huh, so in addition to being female, I am also of another race? It seems, I am either hated or blessed by the god. I also take a good look at my bangs, feeling a silky texture on my fingers. I retained by black hair in the other world, too. Well, that¡¯s a small victory here.


    ¡°Say, gramps, where am I? What is going on? I can¡¯t remember anything at all¡±


    I say, as I shake my head back and forth. It is time for some info dump!


    Obviously, the old man obliges and starts his story from the beginning. I take some pauses and asks some question. In the end, this is what I managed to gather:


    I was found by this person¡¯s grandson when he was playing in the woods. I was injured, so he dragged my body all the way to the village. Since then, I was treated by the local healer. Since elves usually live on the south of the continent, my sudden appearance caused an uproar, which called for the landowner¡¯s immediate attention. Said landowner is the old man I talked to.


    I managed to attain some other information by probing further. It seems, I am currently in a nameless village, located on the west of the Lyon Empire. It is a massive country that takes near the half of the continent, and appears to be governed by the emperor with the help of the senate, located in the capital. That said, most of provinces are actually autonomous, and ruled either by local nobility or, in rare cases, strong chieftains.


    I should note that this empire seems to be multi-racial, housing the standard fantasy set of dwarves, elves, beastmen and, obviously, humans as well. However, it¡¯s a rarity to find one of those in this part because the local wildlife and climate seem to be too harsh. In fact, it is a place where mainly only ogre and orc nomad tribes reside, besides human settles who choose to move to this land in hopes of better life.


    Also, I managed to somehow fool the old man, Percival, into thinking I have an amnesia and can¡¯t remember anything, even my own name. I couldn¡¯t help but squirm and seeing incredibly sadness in the old man¡¯s eyes. Damn, he is too kind for his own good. I sincerely sorry for lying to you, Percy-san, but I need some means to survive in this world.


    After the lecture, Percy-san told me to have a good sleep and relax. Also, he told me that he will come with his grandson tomorrow since I wanted to thank him for rescuing me.


    I yawned and plopped on the bed. I was too tired to think about anything, so I will leave all problems to the me of tomorrow.

 Chapter Two - I wont allow you to set flags on me, idiot!

    ¡°Fireball!¡±


    I create a small ball of pure destructive force in the palm of my hand and send it into my target, accelerating the projectile to incredible speed. I watch the javelin of flame pierce the air and collide with its target, my opponent. A violent burst of heat explodes, engulfing both the target and the nearby location with fire.


    It is a low-level spell, but I became proficient enough to compress the force I put into the ball to create a more dangerous and versatile version of the spell. As a side effect, it is harder to control, but not by wide margin.


    ¡°Fireball!¡±


    I create another one and send it in the same direction as the previous one. It is good that this so-called low-level spell needs no preparations and is very cost effective. I have a rather large mana pool because of my elven heritage, so I can use it as a magical equivalent of a sub-machine gun.


    Honestly, I see no reason why mages of this world try to learn advanced magic, if it takes so long to chant and activate it, if my version has both speed and destructive abilities. I mean, even my teacher was pleasantly surprised, when I showed him an example of this spell.


    And yet, that person still manages to annoy me, brushing of my magnum opus as if it is some kind of cheap fireworks. It is not normal for a person to have such high resistance for explosions and extreme temperatures, but that dunce somehow tanks them with his sword.


    It is impossible to cut a ball of fire since I am pretty sure it has no mass, but common sense doesn¡¯t work against this person. As I muse over what would I do next, a figure appears out of the dust cloud, raised by my spells. His cocky smile makes me want to strangle him once and for all.


    ¡°That one was better, Marie! Have you altered its properties somehow?¡±


    He even has gait to laugh at my misery, that bastard! I should teach him a lesson not to simply stand at the battlefield and have casual chit-chat. If he has time to talk, he also has time either dodge or run to me, right?


    ¡°Fireball!¡±


    I am not sorry for this! I mean in it in a totally not tsundere way! However, I am not that confident in my physical strength, so if he were to pass away, I wouldn¡¯t be able to drag him to the village. Thus, I will try to pull my punches a bit.


    ¡°Hey, that was rude! I was talking, you know!¡±


    His annoying and energetic voice moves closer, as the idiot runs to me, and when I say runs, I actually mean, moving on the speed of a car on foot. It seems, people naturally accumulate mana over the course of their lives, but intensive training can do the same faster, which gives them powers I¡¯ve never seen before. It is safe to say that some of distinguished warrior cannot be called mortal anymore.


    ¡°Here I go! Be prepared to lose, Marie!¡±


    However, this guy is even worse since he actually didn¡¯t have to train as hard as a normal human should. His mana pool is already massive from the start, and he can easily copy any martial skill he ever saw. It is good that he has no interest beyond fighting or eating, otherwise, I might lose my confidence in magic.


    ¡°O, Fiery Heaven! Descend and Crush! Inferno!¡±


    I use my last resort, a middle-level spell I tried to ¡°work with¡± as my last project. Normally, it also involves a small sacrifice like killing a small animal, but a sufficient amount of mana can also do the trick, which is more pragmatic, leaving more space in my inventory. Also, the chant itself was too long to be used in battle, so I experimented and found the key words.


    I should clarify that ¡°chant¡± is not an essential part of a proper spell, despite what my so-called colleagues in capital might say. However, it makes magic easier to conduct and apply, so it¡¯s not completely worthless. And yet, ¡°chant-less¡± magic is, for some reason, considered either a sign of a genius or a potentially suicidal individual.


    A pillar of fire engulfs his form; the idiot only continues to laugh. I don¡¯t even need to aim this time, and I adjusted the heat just enough to scorch him a little. All I need now is to make him admit my victory, so we can go home and have Martha-san¡¯s lunch. Ah, I am hungry.


    ¡°Hey, that was kind of weak! This has, like, no heart in it at all!¡±


    No, he didn¡¯t. And yet, he did. He pulled himself out of the pillar. Damn, the distance between us is less than five meters: he can reach it in a moment. I also nearly exhausted my reserves! I won¡¯t lose! And even if I do, I will do it with dignity and pride.


    ¡°Take this! Sword Mirage!¡±


    Hey, wasn¡¯t that a high-level sword skill Percival-san treasured so much. The one he used all his life to master. What kind of a cheat-character are you, pulling heroic last moment like this and showing me a cool special move? He swings his dulled swords and creates two images of the same weapon, both coming from different directions.


    It goes against common sense! A human¡¯s arm cannot produce speed high enough to create such after-images, no matter how much you train! Also, I¡¯ve never seen you train this skill before, so it must be the first time you use it. Then, why in the world you are such proficient with it? It took me nearly five years to create my ¡®advance¡¯ version of the fireball, you know? I mean, five years of hard work and diligence, you know?!


    I tried really hard, even though they call me a prodigy. I never used any shortcuts, but he is too talented to understand this. To him, everything is as simple as ¡°two times two equals four¡±. Granted, I am the one who does all the math in this pair.


    Ah, the swords are coming closer. It feels like a film in slow-motion. Now, I will be hit and lose since my defense is as strong as that of a kitten. I don¡¯t like physical activities, and spent most of my time either reading, studying or cooking, so I turned into an example of a sheltered and fragile maiden her needs to protect.


    But I refuse! I still have my magic, so I am not that hopeless.


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    ¡°Alan! Marie! It¡¯s time!¡±


    I hear the blessed voice of Percival-san. Instantly, the idiot stops and turns his head to the direction form where the voice came. Damn, he is too light-headed!


    ¡°Fireball¡±


    I silently mutter, sending a tiny bit of flame from the tip of my staff. At this point, it¡¯s nearly all smog and no fire, so he starts to violently cough. So, getting hit face on with my spell doesn¡¯t hurt, but getting a face full of smoke does? What kind of twisted logic is that?


    ¡°Ouch! Why would you do this, Marie? The training is already over! It¡¯s dinner, you know?¡±


    Don¡¯t act like a spoiled child, dammit! I suddenly feel frustration rise within me, so I pinch the idiot¡¯s face with my free hand. It is a very good and healthy way to relieve stress. Also, I do this with full intention to hurt him, and not out of embarrassment, so it is not a tsundere act at all.


    ¡°Ouch! Ouch! Why?!¡±


    Ah, what a pleasant sound. It seems, I am a sadist at heart. Well, I could live with it.


    ¡°Because of your attitude, idiot! It¡¯s not just a training, it¡¯s a mock battle, an imitation of a real conflict, and no solider on the battlefield will ever take a lunch break in the middle of war! Is your head a decoration, or is it plainly empty?¡±


    ¡°I am sorry. Please, forgive me, Marie-sama. This humble me will honestly regret his brash decision, so, please, stop pinching my cheek: it hurts!¡±


    ¡°Huh? So getting hit with my best spell doesn¡¯t? You seemed awfully nonchalant, considering you never bothered to dodge them, damn hardhead! Are you calling my magic capabilities weak?¡±


    I pinch harder, making him moan harder. Wait¡­ that sounded incredibly wrong and indecent.


    ¡°Sorry! Please, accept my sincerest apologies!¡±


    I sigh and finally let go of his cheek, which, at this point, turned red. Man, how does his defense against harm works? Is he subconsciously thinks of me as an ally, so my attacks can easily pass his shields? If so, I need to create a way for him to identify whether this is really me or some kind of imitation. Knowing him, it is only a matter of time before such bizarre thing happens.


    ¡°Marie, you are spacing out again¡­¡±


    I can think about this later: food is my main priority right now. I march faster, and see Percival-san in the distance. He smiles at us and waves.


    ¡°Good work, you guys. It is good to be so young and full of life¡±


    ¡°Greeting, Percival-sama. I am grateful for you praise¡±


    ¡°Yo, Gramps! Have you seen that? Marie was all ¡®foosh¡¯ and ¡®bam¡¯, but I was ¡®swish¡¯ and did that thing you showed the day before!¡±


    Honestly, calling my masterpieces such derogatory names, and referring to the legendary sword skill as ¡®that thing¡¯. Even the ¡®swish¡¯ he is talking about actually means ¡®I passed though the barren field without any covers while being constantly shoot by artillery-grade magic from at least five-kilometer distance¡¯. That man amazes me, even though I already know him for about¡­ how much?


    ¡°The dinner is ready. You go first; I will go for a short walk¡±


    I bow properly, and say:


    ¡°Then, excuse us, Percival-sama¡±


    ¡°See ya, Gramps¡±


    Honestly, Percival-san is such a hard-working person. Even though he was granted a title of nobility and lands for military exploits during the war, he still acts humble. His house is made of simple wood, and his meals are not luxurious at all. He even inspects his lands by himself from time to time. I always question how such a wise individual managed to have such an idiotic grandson like Alan.


    ¡°Hey, Marie, you know¡­¡±


    I turn my head and saw a surprisingly thoughtful expression on his face.


    ¡°¡­ How long do we know each other?¡±


    I cannot help it: I giggled.


    ¡°We¡¯ve met when I was eleven, so that makes about seven years¡±


    Yes, it was almost seven years since I, Satoru Yamada, died and reincarnated as me, Marie Klausel. And an idiotic person beside me is Alan Muller, my self-proclaimed childhood friend.


    ¡°This long, huh? I guess, I should thank you for bearing with all these years, Marie. For this, I am grateful¡±


    He shoots me a smile that made all girls back in the village swoon, but for me, it¡¯s another flag I need to dodge. I am not sure if Alan goes for a childhood friend route, since he acts very suave sometimes. Though, he is too dense to realize this.


    ¡°Is that so? Well, I thank you too. For saving my life back then, and¡­ for becoming my friend¡±


    Alan may be a complete moron, but he is my complete moron. However, stop staring at me with those puppy eyes! I won¡¯t allow you to set flags on me, idiot!

 Chapter Three - I wont become your granddaughter!

    I play with the trim of my pointy hat, a present I received after finishing my education in magic from my teacher. It not only a fashionable accessory, but also a symbol of my status and profession as a master of arcane arts. It is made of a salamander¡¯s hide, so it is also has a very strong heat-resistance, keeping my head cold all the time.


    ¡°Are you going to enter? I am hungry, you know¡±


    Alan¡¯s voice sounds from behind, and I finally manage to compose myself. It¡¯s a nervous habit I picked from the teacher, and the reason I am so flustered is the resident of the house we are standing before. It would be hard to call this place luxurious or well-decorated: it¡¯s mostly made of wood and stone, and also looks quite humble. As I expected from Percival-san¡¯s household.


    I try to knock at the oaken door, but Alan manages to beat me to it: he violently opens the door with a loud thud and shouts at the top of his lungs. His annoying voice reverberates through the whole place.


    ¡°I am home! Is the dinner ready?¡±


    Damn, you are too loud! My ears are this big for a reason: they are very sensitive to vibrations and various noises. It is as if a drill pierced my eardrums, and then was turned on. Alan can be quite scary, but he is even scarier when hungry.


    ¡°Hey, watch your volume. Were you trying to bust my ears on purpose, dolt? I almost got deaf from that. Should I train you with a water bottle again?¡±


    Yes, I trained him how to act normally with a water bottle. If it works on cats, it works on humans, too. It even showed some results: Alan started to chew when eating, and he also started to use a fork! Alas, it doesn¡¯t work when he accidentally makes girl fall for him since he can¡¯t realize when exactly he did wrong. He simply looks at me with those stupid puppy eyes.


    ¡°Anything but that! No bottles! I am sorry!¡±


    Have I scared him this much? Alan, stop prostrating yourself like that: something horrible starts to raise within me. I am not a damn sadist. Well, I don¡¯t think I am one. As I try to placate him, a kind lady appears at the doorframe.


    ¡°Oh, here are you, children. Every time I see you, you grew only closer and closer¡±


    Of course, we would grow close. We share seven years of friendship built upon problems, incidents and misunderstanding: you can¡¯t get a sturdier foundation for relationships anywhere else.


    Her name is Martha Muller. She is Percival-san¡¯s wife, and Alan¡¯s grandmother. She is a woman with plump body and graying hair with purple streaks. I saw the portrait of her when she younger, and Martha-san was quite a beauty. Nowadays, she takes care of Alan and me, teaching me how to sew and cook.


    What? It¡¯s interesting. Also, mages can engrave various runes on objects to improve their capabilities: usually they use it to enchant swords or armor, but sewed runes work as well. Alan¡¯s coat is the testament of my skills as a seamstress.


    I took cooking because I wanted to try this world¡¯s cuisine. However, Alan started to abuse my skills to make him lunches all the time. Make them yourself, lazy dolt!


    ¡°My, I wonder when Marie-chan will become my granddaughter? I am still waiting¡±


    Huh, how strange: I always thought it¡¯s impossible to do a spit-take without drinking anything before. Is this an abnormality if the other world, too? Naturally, Martha-san assumed my reaction was a sign of embarrassment, but it¡¯s not quite that. I never thought she didn¡¯t know that Alan was, well, romantically-challenged.


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    ¡°What do you mean, grandma? Marie was adopted by Klausel-san. In fact, weren¡¯t you the one who presented the idea? Do you want to adopt Klausel-san, so Marie can become your granddaughter?¡±


    See? That¡¯s what I am talking about. He is hopeless. I can see Marth-san putting her face into her hands, while muttering something about ¡°grandchildren that need some work¡±. Sorry, but I am not interested in any man, especially Alan.


    ¡°So, what about the dinner? Is it done yet?¡±


    ¡°Ah, yes, it is. I need Marie to add some finishing touches, but you can set the table¡±


    I enter the house with an ¡°excuse me¡± and march to the kitchen. There¡¯s no need for directions since I actually spend here more time than in my own house. My adopted father, Karl Klausel, is currently has some urgent business in the capital, so he won¡¯t be here for a month.


    I see the soup on the fire and take a first taste with a wooden spoon. It is good, as I expected, but also needs some seasoning. Something like¡­


    ¡°Here, Marie-chan. Those are spices you always use¡±


    Right! It¡¯s good that Martha-san is this sharp. She puts a hand on my shoulder and whispers.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay. You have my full support, Marie-chan. I am sure you will crack through my grandson¡¯s thick skull sooner than later. Fight!¡±


    You don¡¯t need to cheer for me, Martha-san: I am not a competitor and I don¡¯t even want that ¡°prize¡± of yours. I am not sure Alan can be called so. He is a pain in the ass, and a horrible womanizer, even though he doesn¡¯t realize this himself. Also, he snores and acts like an animal.


    His face might be pretty, but he attitude is the worst. It¡¯s an out there. Completely.


    Honestly, even if I wanted to marry someone, I have a mob of potential grooms knocking at my door. Granted, I don¡¯t want to marry someone. Either as Satoru Yamada or Marie Klausel, I will always be in love with my work!


    However, I do not wish to trouble Marth-san even more, so I refrain from speaking my mind. Instead, I say that the food is ready and start to serve it in bowls.


    After some time, Percival-san comes and we start to eat. Alan, as always, does so with the grace of a swine. I wonder if he was one in his previous life. That said, I can¡¯t help but enjoy simple meals like this. Truly, it¡¯s a good thing that this place is away from all the hustle and bustle of the center. I hope peaceful days will never end.


    Suddenly, the door was violently opened second time today, and this time it wasn¡¯t Alan, which was very surprising. I see the form a local shepherd, Marcus-san. His eyes are incredibly scared.


    ¡°A dragon! I have seen a dragon nearby! It took away my sheep, my sweet Dolly!¡±


    Oh, come on¡­.

 IV – Radiance of Dawn (lol)

    Hello. My name is Alan Muller. It¡¯s nice to meet you.


    I am currently having my dinner with gramps, grandma and my childhood friend. It¡¯s very tasty, even tastier than what grandma cooks us every day. She said it¡¯s because of the special mix of spices Marie created before, and that it¡¯s hard for anyone other than her to add the prefect amount of them.


    ¡°She would certainly make a good wife¡±


    I say. Marie is good at taking care of chores, she also loves to sew and cook. Even though she says it¡¯ only for the sake of convenience, she always has a smile on her face when she does either of those two. Also, she adores little children and cute animals.


    Hey, why are glaring me at me like that, Marie? Scary! It was meant to be a compliment. Is it because both gramps and grandma are merrily laughing now? It¡¯s not nice to make fun of someone, but I can¡¯t say this out loud since Marie taught to me to respect the elders. Who knew she is so sensitive?


    I wince when her boot connects with my leg. It hurts! I turn my head to Marie who seats to my right and try to ask why with my expression only.


    ¡°Eat, idiot. Food is getting cold¡±


    Ah, she called me ¡°idiot¡± again. When we were younger, I always thought that ¡°idiot¡± was an elven word for ¡°friend¡± until Marie told me she doesn¡¯t actually know the language. Gramps then told me it is a word for someone stupid. I nearly cried that day, but Marie hugged me and said she has recalled that ¡°idiot¡± really means ¡°friend¡± and that I am her best ¡°idiot¡± ever. She is nice like that.


    Her words are also true, so I start eating. After near five minutes my bowl is empty and I ask for seconds¡­ or thirds. However, before I can receive my bowl back, our door bursts open and Marcus appears at the doorstep. He is breathing heavily, as if he has run all the way here. It¡¯s impossible: Marcus has a huge belly that juggles when he walks like ¡°boom-boom-boom¡±


    But when he says the word ¡°dragon¡± both gramps and Marie¡¯s expressions turn grave. I heard dragon meat tastes really great, so I can understand their seriousness. I want a bite, too. I am sure that if I ask hard enough, Marie will cook some for me. She always tells me that she won¡¯t do this, and yet always does.


    How did grandma call her?


    Tsundere?


    Eh, it doesn¡¯t matter. I take my bowl and continue eating.


    However, both Marie and gramps stand and call an emergency meeting. Hey, I am still hungry!


    ¡­ Nevermind. I follow them to our guest hall to hear out Marcus¡¯ story.


    Here it is:


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    ¡°It was just a normal day. I was tending my herds, but when I started to count them, one was missing. And it¡¯s wasn¡¯t just a normal sheep! It was my sweet Dolly! I raised her since she was this small, you know! She has a dark spot on her fur! And she always recognizes me!


    So, when I started to search for Dolly, I heard some weird noises in the woods. I went to the direction for where the noises came and saw that thing with my Dolly in its clutches! It was a dragon! A real dragon, I tell you!¡±


    After this, Marie gave him so tea to calm his nerves and sent him home, telling that we will take care of this. How nice. Why you don¡¯t act this nice to me? Is that because I once used your staff to harvest an apple from highest branch? I already apologized!


    ¡°I believe, you already know what the problem is, Marie-chan?¡±


    What? I look at gramps. He seats on the chair, while eyeing Marie.


    ¡°Yes, I already got to the point of this case. Which brings some other questions. Dire questions, I should add¡±


    Marie¡¯s tone is so serious it¡¯s scary. Her blue eyes are also very serious. Is it that bad that a single dragon was spotted near the village. I mean¡­


    ¡°Why won¡¯t we just find their nest and eradicate the threat altogether?¡±


    It¡¯s easy. I and Marie are both strong enough to take care of this problem. We will come and kill them all, and everything will turn good again. I am a genius!


    ¡°It¡¯s not the problem, retard!¡±


    Marie shouts at me.


    ¡°Dragons lived here for a long time, so it¡¯s not strange. Seeing them this close to our, to any settlement, on the other hand, is. They are territorial creature that create nest. Usually, they avoid large clusters of humans and hunt animals in the forest.


    If they were spotted this close, it can mean two things. Either there is no food in the forest anymore, or something drew them away. Both of them are equally scary. First would mean an outbreak of famine in the future. Second would mean that something there could overpower an apex predator of this biome¡±


    ¡°Should we assemble an expedition, Marie-chan?¡±


    ¡°No need, Percival-sama. Me and Alan will do this faster. Just give me some time to recharge my mana and we will be ready to move¡±


    Wait¡­


    What?

 Chapter Five - I will solve the problem

    I feel the cold wind blowing at my face, nearly sweeping my hat away. We, me and Alan, are following a distinct set of footsteps ¨C three talons with claws at the front and one at the end. It is, without doubt, a sign that a dragon was here and, judging by how fresh the footsteps were, it wasn¡¯t far ahead.


    I suppose, an explanation about the dragon species is in order. You see, even though we refer to them with the word ¡°dragons¡±, those creatures are more akin to dinosaurs in their anatomy. It means, no wings or fancy fire breathing. However, some sub-species are to known to have both secreting a relatively strong toxin or stomach acid, concentrated enough to melt stone. However, this is only the conclusion I reached after reading historical books about dragons: I¡¯ve never seen one before.


    At least, we can chalk an outcome where they will simply fly away instead of facing us head-on. It would also be hard to fight an opponent who moves in three dimensions as opposed to normal two. Overall, we have pretty good chance to win, and our pair is also pretty balanced with me acting as a support and the idiot as a tank.


    ¡°Hey, Marie. Do you think dragon meat tastes good?¡±


    If only he stopped stopped talking, this day would certainly become better. It took me about two hours to recharge my reserves, a time Alan used to stuff himself with food, while trying to persuade me into making him a boxed lunch to eat after taking care of the dragon problem.


    ¡°I honestly don¡¯t know Alan. I¡¯ve never tasted reptiles before¡±


    I think he has a point there. I will harvest some of their meat later, even though Alan will be the one eating the most. I wonder if it¡¯s tough or tender since we still don¡¯t know much about how active dragons¡¯ life is, or whether they are carnivorous or omnivorous.


    I hear a strange noise from the bushes, and the figure of a dragon appears. It is creature size of horse, covered in dark scales and with sharp yellow fangs. I prepare my staff and hear how Alan¡¯s sword leaves its sheath.


    ¡°Don¡¯t move. I want to see whether it¡¯s aggressive or not¡±


    I meet creature¡¯s gaze with my own. Slowly, we start circling around each other. Its moves are surprisingly elegant. I wonder if it even understands who we are. In an instant, I am captivated by this animal from another world. No, of course it doesn¡¯t. At least, not in the sense that sentient creatures do. I see neither good nor evil in its eyes.


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    Despite common people¡¯s superstition about them being inherently evil, I cannot see the creature before me as anything more than an animal. I think it won¡¯t attack us as long as we remain motionless. However, a distressed roar shatters the stillness between us.


    The dragon starts to slowly retreat and, after gaining some distance, runs away, following the call. It looks like something bad happened with its mate. I gesture Alan to move and we run after the dragon. I hope we will get to the point of the problem.


    We reach the forest clearing, and a horrible picture opens before me. I see bodies on the ground, about four of them, all


    mutilated to the state so horrible they became almost non-recognizable. I¡­


    One of them is smaller than the others.


    It¡¯s horrible to watch. I hear Alan softly mutter something behind me.


    What scares me even more is the creature responsible for this.


    I see the dragon in its clutches. I have read about those things before. Created as an ideal weapon by magical means, they were used in previous war against demons as heavy infantry. However, in times of peace they usually hibernate until either next demon lord appears, or some poor soul accidentally awakens them only to be instantly killed.


    If dragons can be called innocent in the sense that they are animals, those thing are cruel. They don¡¯t hunt for food since they use mana around them as a source of nourishment, but they still do so for their own amusement.


    Its disfigured parody of limb snaps dragon¡¯s neck, and throw it away: it found a more interesting toy to play with, it seems. I


    don¡¯t have to describe this grotesque creature that looks like a crime against the nature itself.


    It is called¡­


    [CHIMERA]


    [MONSTER: D-RANK]

 Chapter Six - I wont allow myself to be humiliated further!

    Chimeras.


    They are vicious creatures, twisted abominations of demonic magic. It is said that no two equal chimeras exist in this world, but all of them are borne with the same hate for all races, men or not. However, it is another trait that made them infamous during the war ¨C regeneration, power to heal any wounds as long as their central core remains intact.


    Although I call it ¡°central core¡±, it¡¯s position can be easily changed by chimera¡¯s whim, making it extremely hard to kill one by yourself. Usually, warriors of old somehow cornered them and attacked from all directions in hopes of accidentally damaging the core.


    ¡°Marie, I need you to distract it for a moment. A usual will do fine¡±


    Ah, I am relieved: Alan reverted to his ¡°battle¡± mode. He may act like a dunce, but when pressed, he shows his smart, even cunning side. His tactics are top-notch, and his battle analysis is always on the spot. It¡¯s even scary how much his usually goofy personality changes.


    So, he wants my ¡°usual¡±, huh? I will oblige for now, but don¡¯t mind if I accidentally kill it.


    [Fireball]


    I shot a spell from my staff at the chimera, aiming at its head, or what I presume to be head. Yeah, those creatures are nasty like that. And, if rumors are true, undead chimeras are somehow even worse. Fortunately, we have a regular one. Just our rotten luck.


    [Fireball]


    I continue my assault, while Alan carefully eyes our target. I wish I could know what is happening in his head. Chimera staggers, it¡¯s charred flesh reconstruct at in incredible speeds, but the pain from getting your head blown over and over must be extreme.


    And yet, it moves in our direction.


    ¡°Marie! Make it double! I need you to do that¡±


    That, huh? You asked for this, Alan! I plant my staff at the ground, and continue firing, but this time, instead of using any tools, I send projectile from both of my hands. It¡¯s a practice that no self-respecting mage from capital would use, but I am not from capital and I will use any opportunity I have. Even Goku can fire Kamehameha with legs, you know?


    [Dual Fireball]


    What? Don¡¯t you dare to accuse me of spamming the same spell over and over. It¡¯s all fair in war and love. Or, in my case, only in war. Chimera continues to move, but even slower now. I feel a bit winded now, and Alan must¡¯ve seen it, judging by the concerned look he sent me.


    He leaps before me and starts slashing with his sword. His moves are graceful and perfectly controlled, a far cry from his hot-blooded nature. He slashes and stabs. I guess, it¡¯s impressive from a swordsman¡¯s point of view, but it simply doing this and that with a pointy sword to me.


    While Alan and chimera are entangled in the fierce dance of violence and blood, I ready our secret plan. A small gem at the tip of my staff, planted into the ground shines as I pour my mana inside. Normally, it would be impossible to chant three spell at the same time, but I cheated.


    You see, staff are generally used to control a magician¡¯s power output, but some them have something called ¡®memory gem¡¯ inside. Memory gems, as their name might imply, can store pre-made spells inside to shorten the time needed to evoke the spell. However, they are restricted to only one spell at the time, so it¡¯s ideal for attack-spamming bots like me, and not so much for experimenters like my adopted father.


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    I stored a particularly nasty spell this time.


    [Frozen Moment]


    Chimera¡¯s legs were instantly locked with a thick layer of ice. Its movements are sealed, and since Alan attacked it without stopping, all of its attention was on him. Now, it¡¯s time for the finishing move.


    [Mastery! Anger!]


    [O, Fiery Heaven!]


    As I said, you need to destroy the central core of chimera to kill one, but those cores are usually made of pretty sturdy stuff. That said, it becomes weaker when chimera starts to heal. It¡¯s a lesson Percival-san taught us very thoroughly. In short, if you manage to hurt it, and then blast¡­


    After finishing his mantra, Alan starts to move his sword, creating thousands and thousands of shallow cuts on the creature¡¯s hide. Even though chimera¡¯s regeneration speed is fast, he is faster. Let¡¯s end of this charade!


    [Descend and Crush! Inferno!]


    I have no qualms about ending this abomination¡¯s life, so this time my spell is at its best. I incinerate the body until nothing¡¯s left. I hear something shatter and lower my staff. Hopefully, there is nothing left, not even an ugly corpse.


    ¡°Whew! That was pretty close!¡±


    I am beat. I use my staff as a makeshift pole to support my weight. I totally used all of my mana. Damn, that last spell was too much even for me. Suddenly, I feel someone lifting me up, and Alan¡¯s face gets really close all of sudden.


    ¡°Yosh! Now we can go back home! Right, Marie!¡±


    What¡­


    ¡°Hey, you okay?¡±


    What in the world¡­


    ¡°Marie?¡±


    What in the world are you thinking, idiot? Is your head actually a decoration or something?! Putting flags all of sudden! Don¡¯t you dare to princess carry me! I am no princess, so find yourself a harem and pull such stunts on them, dolt! Imbecile! Pervert!


    ¡°Ah! Stop pinching my cheek! Why are glaring at me?! I am helping! Helping!¡±


    However, Alan still insisted on carrying me back home, much to my dismay. I couldn¡¯t help but feel embarrassed. It hurts! The disappointed looks both boys and girls send our way hurt! Percival-san and Martha-san¡¯s merry gazes, as if they just know something, hurt as well!


    I won¡¯t allow myself to be humiliated further!


    With such thoughts I fell asleep in Alan¡¯s arms.


    Author''s Note: I feel so sweet inside~

 Yuri or not Yuri

    False Alarm: it''s not a new chapter.


    However, I recently faced a moral dilemma, and thus, I need your opinion, dear reader, since I am spineless slave of the masses.


    Here is the fact:


    Alan will definitely have a harem, but small-sized, consisting of two girl or even three, if we are counting the main heroine.


    On the pretense a preview, it will be a kuudere-kemonomimi knight and a tsundere archer who will have a tsundere contest with our heroine. And maybe a princess, too.


    This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    Also, Marie might accidentally charm someone as well. He-he-he~

 Omake Corner

    Still not an actual chapter.


    It will be a warehouse for things I want to add, but can''t find place for in the main story. Mainly, backstories and such. Feel free to add, if you have an idea. Here comes the first.


    Idiot.


    Hi. My name is Alan.


    I am eleven years old. I live with my grandparents because my mama and papa are dead. Even though grandma says it is sad, I am very happy since I have gramps to teach me how to read, write and use sword and grandma to take care of me when I am sick or hungry.


    Gramps is harsh: he always tells me to do my best. He says it¡¯s our duty as nobles to guide and protect normal people. I am still unexperienced, but gramps told me that I will understand once I found someone I want to protect with all of my heart.


    That¡¯s unfair! I want to protect both gramps and grandma, and all the folks in our village! I honestly want, but gramps still says I don¡¯t understand a thing. He said:


    ¡°It¡¯s one thing to protect all you care about, but having someone special is what makes a good man great¡±


    When I asked who is gramps¡¯ special person, he told me it is grandma. I still don¡¯t understand. I love them all, you know! I can¡¯t choose only one because others might be sad, and I don¡¯t want to make them sad. I want them all to smile! Is it that hard?


    Ah, I can see my friend, Marie-chan! She is easy to spot because of her hair: nobody but her has hair this black. Also, her ears stuck out a bit, and I find it cute. However, I am sure Marie will be angry, if I tell her this.


    ¡°Marie-chan! Good morning!¡±


    I run to her. She is together with her adopted father, Klausel-san. He looks scary, but gramps says he is actually kind and loves to give little children sweets. Klausel-san is local healer; he is the one who saved Marie-chan¡¯s life.


    ¡°Oh, your friend, Marie?¡±


    She looks at me with dull eyes and then turns to Klausel-san, shaking her head. Marie doesn¡¯t like to talk much, but expressions and gestures she makes are funny. However, I am not allowed to laugh at her or I will get my cheek pinched. Angry Marie is scary.


    ¡°Well, it looks this way to me. You can go play with him, child. I have some urgent matters to attend to¡±


    Klausel-san adjusts his glasses and walks away, but not before petting my red hair. He has a sly smile on his face, which also makes me smile. I take Marie-chan¡¯s arm and drag her to play. Hmm, her arm is so soft. I wonder if it¡¯s because she is an elf, or because she is a girl.


    We run together, but after a bit, Marie stops. She is breathing harshly. I must have overdone it a bit. Gramps always says how important it is to control my strength. And yet, I always break things, so other kids don¡¯t want to play with me.


    Marie-chan is the only one who stays with me, so I like her very much. Even though she always grumbles like an old man, she has never left me on my own. Grandma says she acts almost like a little kitten. Yes, I really like that side of her.


    ¡°Honestly, why are you always so active? Do you ever feel tired, idiot?¡±


    Ah, it is her pet name for me! Marie calls me ¡°idiot¡± all the time. I think it¡¯s elven word for friend. Hurray!


    ¡°Hey, Marie-chan, do you know any other elven words beside ¡°idiot¡±? I want to know more of them, so we could have a secret language only for us two!¡±


    Marie-chan looks at me really strange. She blinks and says, dumbfounded.


    ¡°Idiot, I don¡¯t know elfish. I don¡¯t remember anything¡±


    What? She wanders forward, telling me to keep moving if I still want to play. I guess, I will ask gramps later, and have some fun now. I go after Marie, laughing. Every day is fun with her!


    [Later]


    ¡°Alan¡­¡±


    Gramps looks at me and Marie-chan, but she refuses to look at him. She is really embarrassed: her face and ears are red like tomato. I don¡¯t know the reason why.


    ¡°¡­ What is this?¡±


    He gestures at the thing before me, before sending a strange look our way. Marie-chan is still silent.


    ¡°It¡¯s a treasure chest!¡±


    Yeah, it has things made of gold, like rings or so. There is even a jeweled crown inside, and a really cool blade. I wonder if gramps allows us to keep it.


    ¡°I can see this. Question is how did you possibly find one?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s easy! We found a strange map, and, after fighting with a bunch of wild goblins, we found this thing! It was easy-peasy!¡±


    Gramps sighs. It¡¯s not a good sound.


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    ¡°I see. Well, I expected this from Alan, but nor from you, Marie-chan¡±


    She holds the hem of her skirt tightly; she is about to cry. Gramps start to laugh.


    ¡°Well done, children! It is good to be so energetic when you are young! Marie-chan, you can go to your father; he is waiting you in the clinic¡±


    Marie-chan obeys gramps¡¯ orders, softly murmuring ¡°idiot¡± on her way out.


    Oh, I nearly forgot!


    ¡°Gramps! I have a question!¡±


    ¡°No, you can¡¯t keep the sword, Alan¡±


    ¡°Not this one. What does the word ¡°idiot¡± mean?¡±


    He blinks at me, scratches his scalp and answers.


    ¡°It¡¯s a person who does something stupid¡±


    What? B-But I thought¡­ I¡­


    Is this what Marie-chan thinks about me? That I am stupid. That I am an idiot.


    This is bad! Marie-chan is really smart, so it¡¯s obvious she will want to talk with smart people, too. If I am stupid, she will leave me, and if she leaves me¡­


    I don¡¯t want be alone anymore¡­


    No! It¡¯s a selfish way to think! I have gramps and grandma! They love me! They¡­


    She doesn¡¯t want to play with you. She doesn¡¯t want to be friends with me. She doesn''t...


    ¡°Alan, you okay, my boy?¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ I-I am just a bit sleepy¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s all?¡±


    I nod slowly. He leaves me be, and I walk to my room and crawl under the sheets.


    I¡¯ve never felt myself this alone.


    I just want to sleep and sleep¡­


    ¡°Hey, wake up¡±


    I hear Marie-chan¡¯s voice. Is this a part of the dream? Please, let this be a normal dream, and not one those nightmares I have. There is nothing but darkness and screams, and then so much red it hurts.


    ¡°Wake up, Alan!¡±


    Someone¡¯s arms pull my cover, and I open my eyes. It¡¯s Marie.


    This is bad. I need to make her go away somehow. I wonder if she leaves, I will remain silent. I turn away from her and face the wall.


    ¡°Alan? Are you okay? Percy-san says you acted really strange yesterday¡±


    My breath hitch. Why¡­ why does she cares about this stupid me so much? I always selfishly drag her to do stupid things, even though she has better things to do. She deserves better.


    ¡°Hey, what¡¯s wrong? I want to help, Alan¡±


    Her worried tone makes me tremble. Stop being so kind. Why? Why does she¡­?


    Just why?


    ¡°Go away!¡±


    Please, stay with me!


    ¡°You don¡¯t need me! You don¡¯t want to be friends with me, do you?¡±


    It¡¯s me who needs you. Please, let me be together with you.


    ¡°I am an idiot, after all!¡±


    I don¡¯t want to be in the dark no more


    Suddenly, I feel myself warm. I look at hands, hugging me from behind. I can¡¯t be Marie-chan: she hates to touch me without a reason. And yet, I hear her voice.


    ¡°Yes, you are a huge idiot. You bring nothing but trouble and always make me worry.


    Honestly, it would be such a hassle to be your friend, and¡­¡±


    She hugs me even tighter.


    ¡°¡­ I can¡¯t become your friend¡±


    What? I turn my head, and see her smiling face.


    ¡°I can¡¯t become your friend since we already are friends, Alan. I call you my friend all the time. Isn¡¯t this right, ¡°idiot¡±?¡±


    I look and her smile and wonder¡­


    Is this the special person I need to become great?

 Omake: A Fathers Heart

    As of now, my adopted daughter¡¯s current attitude can be described as troublesome, even alarming. She always was a quiet and reserved girl; a child any parents would consider a blessing of gods. And yet, as her father, I felt a rift between us, some kind of boundary I cannot pierce despite my numerous attempts.


    I may not have been of her kin, but I am still a parent, and any parent would be saddened if his beloved child were to be as depressed as this little flower of mine. I look at her mature eyes and wonder about the world inside her tiny head. It must be quite sad no to have something everyone takes for granted, memories of old.


    I cannot but muse over how alienated she might be in this cold land where no other elves live. And yet, I sometimes find her smiling to herself during our lessons of arcane arts. She excels at magic as no one else I have ever seen before. Truly, a gem without a peer.


    My little Marie.


    Ah, how rude of me: perhaps, introductions are in order. I am a scholar and a man of medicine, but may refer to me as Merlin Klausel. I work as a healer in a nameless village on the west, while also researching local fauna, but this is only a hobby of mine. I was born into a peasant family, but I was adopted by an old and childless noble as means to be accepted into a magician¡¯s academy in capital.


    I would never forget all the kindness it took to accept another man¡¯s child as your own, and cherish him as if I was his flesh and blood. Ah, but don¡¯t presume that I adopted Marie as some twisted form of atonement: she is an apple of my eye. When I first saw her, she was so small and lonely, but now my little flower blossomed into a splendid maiden.


    If only I could eradicate all pests that bother her¡­


    Ahem, the problem is that she refuses to call me father, referring to me only by my name or title. It pains me so much that she still treats me as if I am a stranger to her. I hope that someday she will accept me as a replacement for the family she cannot remember. I wonder if she feels that by accepting me, she betrays her real parents.


    It''s not the time to be sad, however. It¡¯s a great day; a day when Marie will finally graduate from my apprenticeship. Oh, how wonderful! She is only fifteen, not even an adult, but her accomplishments put even me to shame. Now, if only she would have stopped using such disgraceful and inelegant tactics¡­


    Ah, here she is. I stand before her and adjust my glasses. It¡¯s time for graduation ceremony to begin. We are surrounded by rows and rows of burning candles ¨C it was such a hassle to place and fire them all by myself ¨C and I say the words every mage hears once in his life.


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    A journey into the endless. Thee, who pursue the secrets inside, shall be the one above.


    A travel into the nothingness. Thee, who follows questions, shall be the one under.


    A destination unreachable. Thee shall be the one of center, unmovable and free.


    I declare thee a master over the nature.


    I declare thee a fellow mage.


    Finally, the ceremony ends without my butchering the words. I give her my present, a box. She looks at it curiously before opening to see what it hides inside. It is a hat, made of salamander¡¯s hide. My, it costed quite a sum, and I even had to order it from capital, but I couldn¡¯t afford less for her most important day in the world.


    I see the girl before me clutch the hat in her hands before starting to softly cry.


    ¡°Finally¡­¡±


    I hear her murmur.


    ¡°¡­ I am finally worthy of being your child, father¡±


    Oh, this foolish girl¡­


    You were always worthy¡­


    ¡­ Since the day I met you, little flower

 Interlude/Percival - Orc Diplomacy

    I must admit that future looks dire, to say at least. It might be a coincidence for a chimera to appear out of blue, but the recent news can only disapprove such notions. I can see that the times of discord are close, thus I pray for my children to be strong.


    ¡°It¡¯s a checkmate, old man¡±


    I open my eyes and see a familiar image of my friend sitting on a chair before me. He is not a human, but an orc, and not a normal one at that. His name is Wyrm of the Ladon Clan, whose migration paths are very close to the settlement I govern. We, as fellow leaders of our people, share friendship build upon mutual respect and interest in prosperity. I am proud to call him my friend.


    ¡°Oh, dear me, it seems so, rude brat. It looks like I am going senile if an idiot like you can win even a single match in chess¡±


    As I said, I respect him very much. Wyrm is old by his tribe¡¯s standards, but he is still pretty young in my eyes. In fact, he looks a lot like an attractive human male, save for reddish tint to his skin and barbarian choice of wear.


    ¡°Never change, old man. Also, a little birdie told me your kid and that elf girlie somehow defeated a chimera. How nice¡±


    ¡°Oh? And who might be this bird? I will make sure to hunt one next time I see one¡±


    ¡°Easy there. I am against killing birds: too much work for so little meat. What I wanted to ask is whether they are ready or not?¡±


    ¡°I am not sure. Alan has a heart and Marie has brains, but I am afraid that they lack power to challenge the calamity ahead¡±


    ¡°Kids kill a damn chimera on their own, and you think they are not ready. What would they fight then? A demon lord?¡±


    ¡°If my worst assumptions are correct, they will¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh, that bad, huh? We both know orcs won¡¯t help you. No matter how much we like humans, we still own demons for protecting our ancestors centuries ago, and orcs don¡¯t go back on their words, even for the right reason¡±


    ¡°I know and I won¡¯t ask for your help, old friend. Even if it pains me to do so, I will leave the rest in their hands and hope that they will save us all¡±


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    ¡°Hey, old man¡­¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°Soon, my son will become the clan leader¡±


    ¡°Is that so?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, he is pretty good. Just like his father. He even wants to create a school, so all orcs could learn how to read and write. Isn¡¯t that nice?¡±


    ¡°Ah, what a nice boy. Is that the one who was guarding the merchants the other day?¡±


    ¡°Yep. So, since he will become a ruler soon, I think he needs a good wife, too. You know, the smart one¡±


    ¡°Rejected¡±


    ¡°Eh? But I haven¡¯t finished yet! Listen me till the end, old man!¡±


    ¡°I know you and I know your son. Marie won¡¯t become Warm¡¯s bride, and that¡¯s final¡±


    ¡°Wait! Wait! Wait! Think about the possibilities! Yeah, the multi-cultural exchange! They might become a symbol of the new era! A peace between all races. Sounds great, don¡¯t you agree?¡±


    ¡°Let me guess. Warm saw Marie, when he was in village and fell in love with her at the first sight, correct?¡±


    ¡°How do you¡­¡±


    ¡°She probably became interested in orc culture and started an idle chat with him. And, after speaking with her a little, your son fell even deeper, seeing how smart she was. His idea about ¡°innovations¡± was most likely influenced by Marie, too¡±


    ¡°How come you know all this?¡±


    ¡°Because my dear friend, if you want to ask for Marie''s hand¡­


    You need to wait you turn after Alan like the others, and believe me, it will take a lot of your time, boy ¡±


    I certainly was not pleased by his horrified look

 Chapter Seven - I don’t want to cause a misunderstanding

    I am not sure how this happened.


    ¡°Marie?¡±


    I mean, it wasn¡¯t on purpose. I might have done that subconsciously since I am pretty sure at this point I am a closet sadist, and I am not sure what this tells about Alan, who stayed by my side all this time without asking questions.


    ¡°Marie?¡±


    Ah, what should I do? It must a misunderstanding of such amazing proportions I might not be able to solve it by myself. I wonder if Percival-sama will lend me a hand as well. It¡¯s not like it¡¯s only my problem: there is almost the half of village¡¯s population involved.


    ¡°Marie? What does this bunch of guys want from you?¡±


    Damn you, dense idiot.


    ¡­


    It was another normal day.


    After the chimera incident, Percival-san ordered us to have some rest, so I went home to bathe and have a good sleep. Obviously, it was not the case for Alan, who was too preoccupied gushing over how awesome the battle was to the village folk.


    As always, he entered my home as it was his own. And ¨C as always ¨C he had the worst timing possible, breaching my house when I was about to finish bathing. In fact, he somehow found in which room I was exactly and entered without hesitation into my bathroom with me inside, naked.


    In novels, it would be an ideal moment for a heroine to scream embarrassed and hit him with the hardest thing in close vicinity. However, I wasn¡¯t a heroine, so I simply asked what he wanted with me. His reaction, on the other hand, was surprising: Alan¡¯s face turned red instantly.


    Huh? So even he knows what shame is? Who knew¡­


    ¡°M-Marie! I was ordered to say that gramps is waiting for you to discuss the recent developments tomorrow morning!¡±


    He retreated at the speed of sound after saying this message. Oh my, Alan was quite a maiden at heart this whole time, even though I cannot remember even a single occurrence when he showed at least some degree of consideration before.


    And yet¡­ I missed another flag! Even Alan can be sneaky sometimes.


    [Next Day]


    I dressed into more comfortable clothes instead of mage robes I always wear, so I started to attract everyone¡¯s gazes on my way to Percival-san. Was it that strange to see me without a hat and messy robes?


    It is a depressing thought, so I brushed it off before entering Percival-san¡¯s house. There, in the living room I saw Percival-san and Wyrm-san playing chess, while discussing something between themselves. And, judging by Wyrm-san¡¯s expression, it wasn¡¯t something pleasant.


    ¡°Ah, here you are, Marie-chan. Come closer¡±


    I obeyed his words and sat on comfortable sofa, waiting for my orders. At this point, I concluded that something was out of place.


    ¡°Percival-sama¡­¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°We will be talking about the recent influx of encounters with demonic monsters, correct?¡±


    I heard Wyrm-san¡¯s gruff voice to my right.


    ¡°Oh? And why do you think so, girlie?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s quite simple. I may not be an active adventurer or a member of local militia, but Alan and I routinely encounter various adversaries as a part of our ¨C ah ¨C escapades, so I could see a recent trend¡±


    ¡°There are more and more of demonic monsters that ever before¡±


    ¡°Correct, Percival-sama. Usually, we were dealing with goblins, local fauna or occasional packs of bandits, but now it looks like a large-scale invasion. Ignoring the recent chimera awakening, there were already four encounters with skeleton warriors and three appearances of headless riders. It is not normal¡±


    Wyrm-san nodded his head.


    ¡°I share this sentiment. I can see the signs; they are everywhere. After all, orcs are more attuned to this land that humans, so we can feel the sudden increase of demonic mana in the air¡±


    ¡°Is that so, Wyrm-san?¡±


    ¡°Yep. It¡¯s a trait all orcs share. It¡¯s what our shamanic believes and magic are based upon, so I can honestly say that no other race beyond orcs ever developed such a unique way of spellcasting. We are in tune with the mother-nature, as opposed to your barbaric suppression¡±


    ¡°Honestly, it is all fine, but is it superior in any way to the orthodox magic all nations practice¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Ours is better in any way, but an orc shaman needs to understand the notion of mana, hear the voice of nature, and this takes a lot of talent, so not anyone can practice¡±


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    ¡°So, can I¡­¡±


    ¡°No, you are not allowed in our tribe. I have nothing against you personally, but I don¡¯t want my people to go extinct in one generation, girlie. No hard feeling, but this is my duty as the current chief¡±


    Huh? Why would I make the Ladon Tribe extinct with my presence only? It¡¯s not like I am a carrier of some kind of strange disease. I mean, numerous human merchants were allowed, but not me. Is this because I am an elf?


    I guess, it¡¯s a cultural thing I should ask Warm-kun later. It¡¯s so good to have a friend like him, who always has interesting topics to talk about like agriculture or importance of education. He also has such nice smile when listening to me. I am sure he is popular among orcs.


    ¡°Ignoring the last statement, I have something important to tell. Say, Marie-chan, do you know about the previous war against the demon lord?¡±


    ¡°Umm, I do. It happened ninety years ago, when the third demon lord appeared to cause discord, assembling numerous armies of monsters and demons. He was defeated by the united armies of humans, dwarfs, beastmen and elves alike with the hero spearheading the assault. Is that correct?¡±


    ¡°Brilliant. Ah, but do you know who exactly the hero was?¡±


    ¡°No, there are no records about the hero¡¯s race, gender or name since nowadays they and their accomplishments are used as a symbol of unity among all races¡±


    ¡°Heh, you know your info, girlie. I always hated the way your nobles lie through the teeth¡±


    ¡°Is the hero¡¯s identity of any importance, Percival-sama?¡±


    ¡°Why yes, Marie-chan. You see, previous hero was my late father, Bors Muller, and, as the hero¡¯s descendant, I have some political weight, and so does Alan¡±


    Alan? I can¡¯t picture him as a part of the senate. I think that he would accept any idea no matter how crazy it would be. I can already imagine this:


    You know, why do we even need army, if we are not at war with any country? Let¡¯s abolish it, so we will have more funds to give more food to poor people!


    ¡°As I said, I am a respected figure not only for my heritage, but also for my exploits during the recent war with our neighbors. Thus, I believe that our king will believe my words, and both you and Alan will act as my representatives. I hope you will be a good influence on his, Marie-chan¡±


    Ah, so Percival-sama believes in my abilities. What a great day! To be recognized by such a splendid person like Percival-sama is a great praise. I am not even against babysitting Alan along the way.


    ¡°You should go home and begin preparations: your road to the capital will take almost two weeks, so take all you consider necessary. I already contacted Merlin, so he will be waiting you two in the capital¡±


    After this, I excused myself calmly, but I was nearly simmering with happiness on the inside. However, when I was on my way home, I met Warm on the street. He asked me if something good happened, so I told him the whole story.


    Somehow, he wasn¡¯t pleased at all. Hey, you can be more supportive for your friend. However, he said something incredibly


    outrageous instead.


    ¡°I want to be with you forever! Marry me! I love you!¡±


    Instantly, a mob of guys appeared around me, surrounding me from all sides and cutting my escape path. I don¡¯t know the reason but they started to quarrel.


    ¡°Hey, newcomer, you got some guts to confess like this to our angel!¡±


    ¡°Yeah, don¡¯t think you have an advantage because you are so exotic and muscular!¡±


    ¡°Pretty boys like you should just die!¡±


    Wow, people even started to scream, but a loud clap somehow silenced them all. Nice save, Warm-kun. I may even forgive your joke from before¡­


    ¡°Marie-chan will be leaving soon with the bastard, so it¡¯s our last chance to confess our feeling, you lot! Thus, we will do so in civilized manner, and Marie-chan will make her choice one by one. Is this fine with you?¡±


    I heard murmurs and agreements among the crowd that soon turned into a very long queue.


    ¡°So, what is your answer, Marie-chan?¡±


    U-u-u¡­ What should I do? I don¡¯t want to cause a misunderstanding, but I don¡¯t want to have start relationships with someone either, man or woman! Alan, save me somehow!


    ¡°Marie? What does this bunch of guys want from you?¡±


    Damn you, dense idiot.

 Chapter Eight - I will travel to the capital

    Romance.


    I want to ask you to describe the notion of so-called love to me.


    What is love? How does it start? Does it have an end?


    I am a person who never experienced attraction or romantic love to any woman or man I ever saw. I was disinterested in the process: I had an important work and respectable place. Literally, there was no time for me to fool around and fall in love. Perhaps, I even despised the concept of love that mass-media tried to cultivate. And yet, love nonetheless tried to cause me pain once more.


    ¡°What is your answer?¡±


    I did my best impression of a fish at this question to the person before me. My friend was in love with me at first sight, which was incredibly vexing, but a long line of males behind him was even more vexing. Honestly, when did I become so popular?


    ¡°I-It¡¯s¡­ You¡­ Me¡­ We¡±


    It looks like my tongue refuses to move the way I want it. I must look adorable from the side, too shy to say even a word. As always, it is incorrect impression. My mind still tries to process this reality where I accidentally tripped a mine field of flags.


    ¡°I-I am not ready for serious relationships now!¡±


    ¡°Now? Does this mean I still have a chance?¡±


    I hate to be not in control because I can get flustered easily and do brash decisions without realizing. I nodded my head, still embarrassed by the whole ordeal. I think I shouldn¡¯t give him a false hope like this, but this happy look on his face was too much: I am not that cruel to kick a puppy.


    ¡°Ha-ha! Did you hear that, lot? I still have a chance over the lord of denseness!¡±


    Wait, ¡°the lord of denseness¡±? Who in the world is that? Could it be¡­


    ¡°Ah, I am next. It¡¯s me Aaron, I am the blacksmith¡¯s son. We used¡­¡±


    ¡°Of course, I remember how we discussed the possibilities of forging steel by using magic-produced fire. It was such nice and refreshing conversations, Aaron!¡±


    His face turned red at my words. I wonder if he is ill or something. Normally, Aaron doesn¡¯t leave the smithy because he hates cold, and yet, he is here only to say his farewells to me. Aw, he is such a nice guy¡­


    ¡°I-I am¡­ I am okay with starting as friends!¡±


    Aaron retreated after shouting these words. My, I always thought of him as a good friend of mine, but to think that he shared my sentiments all this time. I feel oddly refreshed¡­


    After him, there were only perverts and even more perverts, and all of them tried to make a move on me. It was the most embarrassing hour of my whole life since the time I was scolded for adventure-hunting with Alan¡­


    Here are the examples of their confessions:


    ¡°I want to eat the food you made every day for the rest of my life!¡±


    ¡°Hey, that¡¯s my spot you are pinning after, Bob!¡±


    ¡°Damn it, Alan!¡±


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.


    ¡°I really love you and your face, and hair, and eyes, so become mine¡­ Ah, your modest chest is fine, too!¡±


    ¡°Ah, excuse me, but could you please go and die horribly. I thank you in advance¡±


    ¡°Ah, Marie-chan has such nice ears. I want to lick them every day!¡±


    ¡°Alan! Alan! Come here!¡±


    ¡°Can I call you one-sama?¡±


    ¡°O-Of course, I don¡¯t mind¡­¡±


    ¡°Can I also have se¡­¡±


    ¡°No! I mean¡­ My soul is not ready for this!¡±


    ¡°Marie-chan is my waifu!¡±


    ¡°Am not!¡±


    And if you think that was bad, imagine what happened to Alan. Well, nothing much¡­ You see, when a group of girls (and one boy) appeared to say their farewells, Alan only told them¡­


    ¡°Ah, it¡¯s so good to see you, guys! I may be leaving, but all you will still be here, deep within my hearth. Thus, all of you will always be by my side!¡±


    ¡­ And hundreds of hearts exploded, and those who managed to withstand such powerful attack were blown by the force of his radiant smile. I felt something horrible churn in my stomach looking at this scene.


    [At The Next Day]


    ¡°Are you ready, Alan?¡±


    ¡°Yes, sir!¡±


    ¡°You packed all the stuff you need? Also, it¡¯s a ma¡¯am¡±


    ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am!¡±


    ¡°Your scarf? It¡¯s pretty chill outside at this time of year¡±


    ¡°I did!¡±


    ¡°And your second scarf?¡±


    ¡°Aye!¡±


    ¡°Any candies?¡±


    ¡°None!¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ Only a small bag, ma¡¯am!¡±


    ¡°I am proud of you, Alan¡±


    ¡°He-he~¡±


    As I said that we sat into a horse-drawn carriage prepared by Percival-sama and started our journey to the capital. As the familiar images of our village I love so much were slowly disappearing, I started to muse over what would wait the two us in the future.


    Farewell, my precious home...


    *Snore*


    Damn you, Alan.

 Omake: Growing Pains

    It is a story of a certain summer day¡­


    I was fourteen at the time, when a local seamstress proposed an idea after taking a good look at my usual clothes. ¡°You have such a nice face¡±, she said, ¡°And yet, all you wear are rags. I am sure that a nice dress would make you blossom more! Do you want me to make you one?¡±


    I, on the other hand, was not interested in looking neither pretty, nor attractive, but the fact that my attire was at its last legs was true enough, so I didn¡¯t refuse the offer, it was free of change, too. In fact, my wardrobe at the time consisted of robes father used when he was a child and some shirts with pants.


    Honestly, as opposed to the wonders of magic, such trivial matters as clothes weren¡¯t worth my attention. However, a freebie was still a freebie, and my pride wouldn¡¯t have allowed me to let this chance slip.


    I certainly wasn¡¯t expecting the following course of action.


    Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings.¡°Now, Marie-chan, I need you to take off your clothes, so I can take proper measurements¡±


    Obviously, I obeyed, but¡­


    ¡°Now, let¡¯s see what we have here¡­¡±


    ¡­ Her expression turned into one of pity in a moment¡­


    ¡°Oh, dear me, I never thought¡­ I mean, you always wear such baggy clothes¡­ I thought they are bigger¡­ But¡­ Maybe because you are elf¡­¡±


    ¡­ She bowed¡­ Her chest went boing-boing¡­


    ¡°I am sorry for this, Marie-chan. I am sure they will grow, and if they won¡¯t, I heard there are males who love this kind of thing. You know, they do sometimes say that smaller is better¡±


    ¡­ And I felt a deep sense of loss inside of me.

 Chapter Nine - I wont share

    I don¡¯t like to travel, and neither I did in the life before. I liked the place where I lived, never wanted to see other countries or such and believed that people would be happier, if they simply choose one place they preferred and settled there forever. It was a shallow outlook of a typical section chief who lived only for himself. I had no hobbies or interests, too. In other words, I wasn¡¯t a real human, but more of a human cocoon which one day was crushed by the truck to create space for the one with passion for magic.


    ¡°Are we there yet?¡±


    I may be a little bit too enthusiastic about my favorite topic, but any earth-dweller would understand the excitement of finding something completely new and alien in its nature. It is magic that allows me and numerous other mages of this world to bend the structure of the reality itself, to play and shape it as we see fit.


    ¡°Are we there yet?¡±


    Oh¡­ I am done. It was a straw that broke the camel¡¯s back.


    ¡°No, we are not, Alan. We wouldn¡¯t there in the next few minutes either. You see, only a week passed, but you keep asking every hour of every day the same question. Do you what this means?¡±


    ¡°We will be there soon?¡±


    ¡°No, we won¡¯t reach the capital soon: we still have almost a week of travel ahead of us, not counting various stops for re-supply and rest. Thus, if you don¡¯t want me to find a way to seal you mouth for the duration of our travel, you will stop asking stupid question, okay?¡±


    Alan looked at me, looked at the road ahead and again on me, as if trying to solve a puzzle, before slightly nodding his head in agreement. I hear the coachman¡¯s voice outside of the cabin.


    ¡°We will arrive to the city of Hardin soon. I think you should prepare your documents¡±


    Oh, we have reached the so-called ¡°pearl of west¡± already? It was originally a fortress, meant to protect the borders against occasional attacks from rogue demons and wild orc tribes, but with time, it steadily developed into a normal city, where both humans, orcs and dwarf can gather to trade, and, since there are lots of golden and silver mines nearby, this place became the financial and cultural center of this region.


    Ah, but it¡¯s not like I wanted to see such brilliant city with my own eyes. It¡¯s just that there are no alternative routes to bypass this town, if we don¡¯t want to be attacked by bandits or dangerous animals on our way¡­


    That said, we safely entered the city through the main gates after the guards checked the documents given by Percival-san. I even tried my best to ignore strange looks they had given me. It¡¯s not like there are a lot of elves here. In fact, there are almost no elves at all in other provinces other than their native lands due to the heavily isolationist policy they declared after the previous war against the demon lord.


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    Thus, I also tried to be as nonchalant as possible when nearly every citizen stopped to have a good look at my ears. It is as if I encountered a town full of weir ear-fetishists. I mean, there were beastmen twice my height and covered in fur, but apparently an elf is even stranger than this. Fortunately, Percival-san already booked a room for us in advance. However, there was a glaring mistake in our sleeping arrangements. Namely, only one king-sized bed and nothing more, not even a futon. And when I tried to complain about this to the owner, Alan somehow made things even more uncomfortable.


    ¡°It not a big deal, Marie. We already shared a bed before, remember?¡±


    At this, both me and the owner, a wolf-beastwoman woman in her thirties, blushed violently. I ¨C because of embarrassment, she ¨C because of the obvious implications. She put a hand on my shoulder, gave me the biggest smile she could muster and said that she wouldn¡¯t mind some noise after the curfew.


    U-u-u~ What should I do? I somehow missed yet another flag and faced yet another moral dilemma: money over dignity. The inn was one of the best in the Hardin, so renting another room was impossible with our funds, and they didn¡¯t have a spare futon, or maybe they did, judging by the sparkles in the owner¡¯s eyes, but refused to give or sell me any.


    ¡°It is sure nice to be so young¡± was all she told me at this, waggling her fluffy tail back and forth. Is this the way you treat customers? This place wasn¡¯t worthy of even one star ¨C on, I am pretty sure it would have a negative number of starts for this stunt. I cannot believe that they had audacity to pull such tricks on me.


    With such thought I went to sleep, pre-emptively warning Alan that I would kill him, if he even tried to snore or turn. However, he diligently slept through the night without even turning to face me. In fact, he was strangely silent through the whole dinner, looking dazed and turning bright red every time I tried to talk to him.


    On the other day, I awakened in an unfamiliar room, looking at an unfamiliar ceiling without any signs of Alan in sight. I only heard tow masculine voices.


    ¡°We got dem elf, boss¡±


    ¡°Bravo, my friend. I knew I could trust you to bring this beautiful mademoiselle to me. I am sure we could get a large sum from her caretakers, yes?¡±


    ¡°Ya got dis, boss. I ain¡¯t a genius like you, but even an old tool like me knows elves would better die than leave on of their own¡±

 X – A Hero Awakens (Literally)

    I am in a strange state between being extremely conscious of every single thing happening around me and half-asleep. I can even feel a warm sensation of my childhood friend¡¯s back brushing against mine, which doesn¡¯t help the situation at all. It¡¯s very bad: I can¡¯t sleep at all.


    I decided to somehow find a way to pass the night safely, away from incredible dangers that awaited me in the inn room. Hence, I made my way to the kitchen where the owner, a kind beastwoman lady, was silently drinking all by herself.


    ¡°Oh, what are you doing here?¡± She told me with a smile and, after explaining my situation, quickly allowed to sit by her side. I am not a fan of alcohol ¨C it¡¯s too bitter ¨C but I nonetheless accepted her offer. We talked for some time and she asked me a question. ¡°Hey, what are your relationships with the girl you came with?¡±


    I honestly replied. ¡°I like Marie a lot!¡± Yes, I really do: she treats me kindly, makes me delicious food and teaches me important stuff. At this, the owner lady started to merrily laugh, as if I said some kind of joke to her, while saying something about ¡°youth¡±. I was completely serious there, you know.


    However, when I felt too tired to remain awake, I decided to take my chances with the lion¡¯s den. I mean, it¡¯s not like Marie will try to kill me for real, if I were to accidentally turn and hug her in her sleep¡­ Not a good idea, Alan. Even if she slept deeper than normal today, Marie is still sharp as always.


    I opened the door and there saw no familiar figure of my friend sleeping on the bed. ¡°It¡¯s strange¡± I muttered, feeling uneasiness spread through my body. ¡°Her clothes are here¡± I checked the wardrobe provided by the inn as well. ¡°Empty¡±


    I couldn¡¯t find a trace of her: she disappeared¡­ Magic? No, it can¡¯t be because¡­


    ¡°Listen well ¨C I won¡¯t repeat twice- ¨C it¡¯s impossible to transport an object with magic: such phenomenon requires two impossible conditions from the caster.


    One of them is very large quantities of mana, more than a human body can possess without damaging itself. While elves like me are more attuned to storing larger capacities of mana, they too have a certain limit and it is not near enough to teleport even a small item, much less a person.


    Secondly, a caster in question needs to be able to operate with a massive amount of information ¨C weight, length, shape, color, taste, inner structure, history and more. In other words, they must be able to store them all inside his head, which is entirely impossible in its nature. I can say it is a flaw of every sentient creature in this world and beyond¡±


    ¡­ I already heard that lecture long time ago: I pride myself on always remembering what I was told before. Then, if it wasn¡¯t a work of magic, and it wasn¡¯t Marie then why did she disappear? In other words, who dared to attack us in our sleep? I may be a kind person, but now? I am royally pissed.


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    I looked at the window and found the first clue: the open window. Marie always makes sure to close her windows before going to sleep: everyone back home does because it¡¯s either this or slowly freezing through the night.


    It a custom native to the western regions, but not to the natives of this city since their climate is milder, so those capturers are from here. Yes, they ¨C I may be an idiot, but I hunted animals for so long I can recognize two distinct pair of footsteps on the floor. Oh, so one of them has a damaged leg, too. Amateurs¡­


    It all connects: Marie¡¯s drowsiness, the owner lady¡¯s strange mood and an open window. They wanted to capture an elf, Marie, from the start and I was a hindrance. I think they drugged our drinks, but hopefully I am immune to poisons after the hell that was gramps¡¯ idea of training. It was a horrible experience.


    It was only their luck that I decided to wander a bit, wasn¡¯t it? However, they even had the owner at ready to attract my attention and buy some time for them to do the deed, huh? It is pretty good for a quick improvisation, I must admit.


    I only need to track them now. I will find them and when I do¡­ I will kill them all, if they even dare to touch her with a single finger


    Author Notes: It''s Alan Time!


    In the next episode:


    "So, mademoiselle, tell me what a tiny elf like you forgot in a rotten hole like this? Other than being a captive, of course..."


    "I will give you one more try, bastard! Talk and I won''t break your second leg!"


    "Let''s start our lesson, shall we? I believe an introduction is in order. I also hope we will have a nice and productive conversation ahead of us"


    "Marie-e-e-e!!"

 Chapter XI – I will ask nicely/ Cavalry Come

    He:


    I must admit that I expected better of these guys. I mean, their hideout was nothing more than a cave near the town, not even some kind of warehouse or something. And, while I admit that all these adventure novels that Marie made me read to broaden my vocabulary and sense of aesthetics raised my standards pretty high, the cave in question was even more disappointing because it was just a cave and nothing more. It wasn¡¯t even abandoned mines!


    And, to end this festival of disappointment, a single guard was on watch. A burly man with a huge beard, armed with a low-quality sword that blacksmiths usually claim to be a piece of art to overprice some newbie wannabe-adventurer. I am sure it was his first time holding a real weapon in hands, judging by the completely amateurish way he held it.


    Now, it¡¯s time to shine and be a hero. And, take down bastard who think they can mess with my precious childhood friend¡­ Also, I am hungry so I will make Marie make something tasty after saving her from bandits. Thus, I jump behind the beard man, and¡­


    His left kneecap shows obvious signs of damage: he is crippling on this leg. Also, incorrect posture means a novice with the sword means an easy target means lethal moves and weapon are not needed.


    First comes the left punch aimed at his head to disrupt his concentration. Then, crack his knee completely with precise strike with my left. After this, an uppercut to his head again. Apply enough force for him to lose consciousness. Result ¨C he will be out cold for some time, one broken leg and a killer headache, possibly ¨C a brain trauma.


    ¡­ I am ready to go!


    She:


    I must also admit that my capturers were, mildly said, disappointing, and not in a good way lie Alan does sometimes. Their defense was figuratively paper, they have almost no experience and their knot-roping need some brushing because I untied myself about a minute ago. In short, it was humiliating to be fooled by the likes of them. Even their leader was¡­


    "So, mademoiselle, tell me what a tiny elf like you forgot in a rotten hole like this? Other than being a captive, of course"


    ¡­ An utter moron for a number of reasons. He was a pretty boy with a mask and an ensemble worthy of a noble, brand new even. However, his accent turned annoying extremely fast, and the bombastic way he acted was even worse, all these unneeded gestures...


    ¡°I will tell you and only you, so make your henchmen go away. It is a private information, after all¡±


    He looked me in the eyes and, after somehow making sure I wasn¡¯t bluffing, sent his brutes to guard the entrance, which by this point Alas has already taken care of. He can be pretty reliable in potentially dangerous situation.


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    ¡°Now, mademoiselle, keep your end of a bargain and talk¡±


    ¡°Oh, stop this charade. I don¡¯t know who you are trying to fool, but this won¡¯t work on me. I mean, it¡¯s painful to watch¡±


    ¡°Fine. For a captive, you got a sharp tongue. How do you know?¡±


    ¡°Your clothes. You have traditional eastern accent, but your style of wear is common for the northern nobles. And before you ask, I was trained to recognize such trivialities¡±


    ¡°I take it you are an ambassador then¡­ or a spy. This explains the reward for your head, smart lady-girl¡±


    Oh, I had enough of this prick. With this, I untied the rope.


    He:


    In hindsight, I need more intel on why exactly Marie was targeted by them, so I picked up my new friend, the beard sentry, I decided to have a nice chat between the two of us. Of course, after brutally dispatching two of his friends that appeared out of sudden. Fortunately, they were as strong as the first one. In other words, not even a challenge.


    "I will give you one more try, bastard! Talk and I won''t break your second leg!"


    ¡°I-I tell you I don¡¯t know who, but there was a reward out on the elf¡¯s head, preferably alive, so me and the boss decided to snatch her before the competition arrives! It¡¯s all I know! I swear!¡±


    A reward?


    She:


    ¡°What reward? Speak or I will make you. You know, I always wanted to try my hand at teaching. However, I can only teach two things at the moment ¨C friendship and pain. Now then, let¡¯s start our lesson, shall we? I believe an introduction is in order. I also hope we will have a nice and productive conversation ahead of us, won¡¯t we, girl?"


    He ¨C or should I say she? ¨C looked at with astonished expression. Come on, I can clearly see you have no Adam¡¯s apple this close, and it¡¯s not like your voice sounds this manly. I mean, I am an idiot, and this cheap masquerade won¡¯t fool me. Alan, on the other hand¡­


    ¡±So, what is your answer?¡±

 Chapter Twelve - I will pretend

    ¡°I will tell you! I will!¡±


    Oh my, what a brilliant reaction came from this cross-dressing girl before me. She is trembling so hard, and cold sweat rolls down her forehead, even though all I showed her was a nonsense beginner-level spell I can use without incantation. Granted, it enough to burn off her tasteless mask.


    ¡°I¡­ Before you and your friend came, news spread through the city about an elf appearing here and that the one could capture her alive will receive a huge sum of money, s-so¡­¡±


    ¡°You decided to take your chance when I was resting at the inn, did you not?¡±


    Wow, I never thought a person can prostate themselves this quickly; the sound of her excusing herself over and over is splendid as well. Hey, those extravagant clothes might get ruined from such treatment. I simply touch my forehead in indignation, trying to cool my head, so I can carefully and thoroughly analyze this conundrum.


    ¡°You said ¡°news spread¡± but who exactly originated them, hmm? I really wish to know who decided to mess with my precious time¡±


    It seems my smile was convincing because my ¡°captor¡± suddenly produced some kind of a wanted poster. However, author¡¯s choice of words piqued my curiosity: there were too many elaborate words for it to be an ordinary message. If we twist there and switch some letters there, we will get.


    Yahoo! It¡¯s Percival-sama!


    Your training under me might have ended, but the real master never stops to learn, and what is the greatest teacher if not the danger? Thus, I decided to prepare this challenge for you, children. I have sent in advance such posters to various crime lords, so you will have to dodge their attacks for the duration of your stay in the city. Have a nice time!


    I am not angry. Who is angry? Certainly, it somebody other than me. I am a very example of calmness, cold as an iceberg. Hey, ¡°captor¡±, why did you shriek like this, if I am not angry at all? It¡¯s rude to assault my sensitive ears like that, but I am calm, so I will let it sleep.


    Ah¡­ the wanted poster got thorn for some reason. It must be the low-quality paper, right?


    ¡°Hie-e-e! D-Don¡¯t kill me! I will serve you faithfully!¡±


    Oh, what an interesting thing to say. I must admit that the girl before certainly was attractive, and her short hair even added some androgynous appeal to her, but I am not sure I need a servant. On the other hand, I do need someone who knows their way around the city.


    ¡°Hoh? Is that so? What is your name then? It is impudent to simply call you girl¡­ or do you prefer boy more?¡±


    She winced at my words and looked somewhere else, refusing to clash with my sleep-deprived gaze. Ah, what a cute child. From her looks, she might be one or even two years younger than me and Alan. Her blue hair and eyes might have been surprising, but I got accustomed to those peculiar traits long time ago.


    ¡°I-I am Akira Maine. I am a high-class noble, you know? My parents have¡­¡±


    ¡°No, you are not. And I am quite sure your parents are as noble as me, so you should stop bluffing so much. I guessed this after you tried to ¨C ah, stroke my ¡°cute little face¡± to show your thugs who is in control. Obviously, no ordinary noble would have such calloused hands¡±


    ¡°And what if I am¡­¡±


    ¡°Please, you can¡¯t be from military family either: weapons don¡¯t leave such callouses, too. I know because I have friend whose wounds I always have to patch. Besides the fact that he can be too touchy sometimes, so I know exactly how many scars on his arms he has¡­¡±


    Obviously, I omitted the last part to save me face: you ought not to tell a person you want to intimidate about your private life and history. However, what kind of name is Akira? It¡¯s very uncommon around here.


    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.¡°I can see past your tricks, so tell me the truth or I will get angry. We don¡¯t want me angry, do we?¡±


    ¡°I-I am working at the inn you and your friend stopped! I-My sister owns the place!¡±


    ¡°Your beastwoman sister?¡±


    ¡°She is a half-breed like me! Our father was one, and our mother was a human! E-Erina inherited all animal traits, and I didn¡¯t!¡±


    ¡°Interesting. So, how come some amateur like you knows about the reward? From the sound of it, it is something completely illegal. Good children should stay away from the criminal, shouldn¡¯t they, Akira-chan¡±


    She muttered something under her breath, red as a ripe tomato.


    ¡°That won¡¯t do. If you want to speak, do it loud enough for other people to hear. It is basic conversation etiquette, or should I teach it to you directly?¡±


    ¡°I swiped it from a drunken customer! He was a bounty hunter and had this thing on him. When I was searching payment on him, I found it. I am completely honest, see?!¡±


    Well, it certainly would be hard to imitate all the nervous sweat this girl was secreting as of now. I think I can let that slip.


    ¡°And this charade about pretending to be a noble? It was quite vexing¡±


    ¡°I thought that nobody would take a tiny girl like me seriously, so I took my great grandfather¡¯s clothes and tried to fool both you and the guy who started this¡±


    ¡°Now then, you thought that acting as the main character of ¡°Tales of Gallant Thief¡± would make you respected¡±


    Her breath hitched, and she focused all of her attention at a single point. Namely, me.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be so surprised. It is second favorite books my childhood friend likes to read. Though, I personally despise it. Most of characters are bland, storytelling is so-so, and the protagonist is so smart, that are no challenges for him. In short, it is a waste of quality paper at best, and a waste of my precious time at worst¡±


    ¡°This is not the point! It is not a piece of professional literature, and you shouldn¡¯t treat it as one! This story is made so both children and adults can enjoy it without bothering themselves with questions! It doesn¡¯t matter if the characters are one-dimensional, as long as it¡¯s fun to read!¡±


    Oh, so this meek girl can be quite passionate about things she likes. My, she even dared to raise her voice against me just to spout some nonsense about trashy books Alan reads all the time. Speaking about Alan¡­ Where is he?


    As if answering my question, I heard heavy footsteps and a figure of my friend appeared in the light. He was, honestly speaking, a real mess: bloodshot eyes, messy hair and a sword in one arm. In fact, he was intimidating enough to scare Akira away.


    ¡°I found you¡­¡±


    He said menacingly, slowly walking in our direction. I-I think it¡¯s enough, Alan¡­


    Alan?


    ¡°I finally found you¡­¡±


    I was enveloped into a hug, but that wasn¡¯t what I was concerned about right now. It was the obvious relief in Alan¡¯s voice that irked me so much. For the first time in so long, I allowed him to do so without complaint.


    ¡°You sure did, Alan. Nice work, idiot¡­¡±


    ¡°You are safe. Thank gods, you are safe¡­¡±


    That night, I pretended that this scene never happened¡­


    And that the wetness on my shoulder was just my imagination.

 Chapter Thirteen - I will destroy a flag

    ¡°I hereby announce the roll call!¡±


    ¡°Why would we need a roll call? I know¡­¡±


    ¡°Alan! It might be the only moment in my life to announce the roll call, so don¡¯t steal this precious moment from me¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡±


    ¡°Akira Maine!¡±


    ¡°Here, boss¡±


    ¡°Alan Muller!¡±


    ¡­


    ¡°Alan! Muller!¡±


    ¡°¡­ I am here. It¡¯s better only when I am the one acting stupid¡±


    ¡°I will pretend I never heard the last part¡±


    Oh, I ought to tell what is happening now. You see, after the raid yesterday, the three of us somehow safely made our way to the inn for the night. There, Akira-chan retired as well, leaving our duo to have a good sleep. Rest assured, we were too tired to feel embarrassed about sharing one bed.


    And yet, when we finally hit the bed, the sun was already raising on the horizon, and with it, our dreams of relaxation were mercilessly crushed as well. We were tired, a little bit twitchy and had obvious bags under our eyes, which created yet another misunderstanding with the inn owner.


    What was even more unexpected is how our ¡°captor¡± was the one to serve our breakfast in a cute maid dress. Obviously, Alan decided to do what Alan does. ¡°Hey, Marie, this is the guy from yesterday, right? Why is he dressed like this? Is he a pervert?¡± I decided not to answer him and continue eating in peace.


    However, after finishing our breakfast, I ordered Alan to return to our number, somehow shocking the inn owner yet again. Brilliant. I also asked Akira to accompany us as well, at which the inn owner started to bleed from her nose, but not before giving her little sister a big thumbs-up. I didn¡¯t see no evil, nor heard no evil. ¡°Youth!¡±


    Thus, we reached this situation.


    ¡°Let the assembly begin! Firstly, we need to discuss the current matters thoroughly¡±


    ¡°I think it¡¯s simple. We are wanted by the group of gangs around the city, so they could grab the reward gramps promised them, which is most likely doesn¡¯t even exist¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not that simple! I heard the rumors! You two are not simply wanted by the gangs! Prices for your heads are so big there are really big guns involved! It¡¯s not about small fries and whatnot anymore!¡±


    Hmm, so it¡¯s like this. I think the most rational way to solve this would be leaving the town as fast as we can, right? I mean, we already have a carriage pre-rented by¡­


    ¡°They even accidentally destroyed your carriage! That¡¯s awful, boss!¡±


    ¡­ Forget it. I guess it was na?ve of me to assume. However, if they are so powerful¡­


    ¡°How come no one tried to harass us directly?¡±


    ¡°E-he-he. It¡¯s because of -ane-ue and her fearsome reputation. She is Erina of the Molten Steel, after all. Well, it more like ¡°Dented Steel¡± by now, but you catch my drift¡±


    ¡­ Wait.


    A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    I think I heard a title like this before from merchants in my hometown. I believe there was an adventurer who once defeated a B-Rank Monster by herself, killing it with her blade destroyed by the flame. A woman that demanded her potential husband to be as strong as herself at least. There was another nickname too¡­


    ¡°Eternal Cake¡± Erina Maine


    ¡°Oh¡­ That explains so much¡­¡±


    ¡°What explains, Marie? There¡¯s something about the owner lady I should know?¡±


    ¡°Only that you must avoid battling with her at any costs, Alan. I don¡¯t know who would be the winner, but I will lose in both cases, so any time you even think about challenging her¡­¡±


    With this, I aimed for the kill. Namely, I pinched this lady killer¡¯s cheek as hard as my tiny body could allow me, leaving an angry red mark and making the idiot exclaim a cry of pain.


    ¡°Don¡¯t. Ever¡±


    ¡°Hie-e-e!¡±


    ¡°Ouch! Ouch! Marie, you are scaring me!¡±


    It took us some time to settle, but I managed to create something distinctly looking like a plan.


    ¡°Akira!¡±


    ¡°What?! I-I mean, ready to serve, b-boss!¡±


    ¡°Good! I need you to take those stupid outfit of yours and pretend to be a noble yet again!¡±


    ¡°O-Okay! Hey, those clothes were cool!¡±


    At this, Alan snickered at the corner.


    ¡°He-he. It was the worst cosplay of ¡°the Gallant Thief Marx¡± I¡¯ve ever seen, dude. Everybody knows his outfit looks different¡­¡±


    ¡°And how come you know how exactly he looks, huh? There are no illustrations in regular issues!¡±


    ¡°Of course, there are no illustrations. In regular editions, that is. I have this!¡±


    He started to brutally salvage through his belongings, until procuring a tiny and rugged-looking book. His face was incredibly smug.


    Urge to pinch ¨C Rising.


    ¡°Ta-da! It¡¯s original limited edition gramps ordered for me!¡±


    ¡°Y-You don¡¯t mean¡­ Does it have that?¡±


    ¡°Yep! It has an autograph from the author himself! Here it is!¡±


    He was like a kid with a new toy. At least, his eyes possessed the same twinkle in them.


    ¡°Oh! Give me! I want it! I will give you anything!¡±


    ¡°Nu-uh! It¡¯s mine and mine only, you know~¡±


    It was an incredibly comic scene, if not the fact how close those two were right now. It would take about a minute for Akira to realize this. In other words, a minute for me to destroy this flag.


    ¡°Oh, how nice, Alan¡­¡±


    ¡°Marie?¡± ¡°Boss?¡±


    ¡°Even though I ordered you to bring only essential, you took a trashy book for no reason¡­¡±


    It¡¯s not the time or place to set flags on anyone, idiot. We still have some work ahead of us!


    ¡°¡­ Prepare yourself for divine judgement¡±

 Omake: A Nice Day

    Ah, what a nice, refreshing morning we have today. If I were to put it into words, it was the type of morning that always came before something really good.


    Oh, by the way, the name is Akira Maine. Nice to meet ya, folks!


    I don¡¯t really have much hobbies, so all I do is helping around the inn our family owns. Well, ¡°family¡± would be stretching it a bit since it¡¯s only me and ane-ue¡­ It¡¯s nice! I have lots of fun every day! I even made some friends among the staff.


    ¡°Oh, you are so energetic. Did something good happen, Aki-chan?¡±


    Here is Bors-san, he takes care of our documents and taxes. He may look intimidating because of his robust body and gigantic beard, but he is actually quite a scholar. He was the one who taught me everything I know. He always tells everyone that he has a bad leg because he once fought off a whole bunch of bandits by himself, but I am not sure about this.


    ¡°Nope! I just have a really nice feeling about today, Bors-san!¡±


    ¡°Oh, nice! That¡¯s the attitude!¡±


    As the day passes, I continue my chores, while ane-ue takes care of our new customers. It¡¯s some dopey-looking carrot-top and¡­ Was that an elf? I thought they don¡¯t leave their lands, like, never ever. What gives?


    ¡°Oi, are you ponderin¡¯ what I am ponderin¡¯?¡±


    I turn my head and see two brothers who work here as well. Their names are Timmy and Jimmy, and I think their parents were not the most imaginative people. Timmy is tall and lanky, with slanted eyes that give him a thuggish look. However, he is completely harmless. I mean, he really loves his garden.


    ¡°Yeah, I feel ya, bro¡±


    Jimmy is a polar opposite. He is built like a barrel and has nearly the same stature. He has eyebrows so big I can¡¯t even see his eyes. He is the muscles, taking care of things I or Timmy can¡¯t carry when ane-ue is either away, busy or too wasted to move, with the later starting to happen more often after her thirtieth birthday¡­


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    ¡°That chick was totally ten out of ten!¡± ¡°Yeah!¡±


    Those idiots¡­ However, even I admit that the elf girl was nice. I mean, I am a girl, but you need to be blind not to notice how beautiful she was: graceful movements, slender arms, pale skin, cherry lips and hair black as the night sky. In other words, what boys call ¡°a total babe¡± ¡­ Ugh


    After some time, ane-ue orders me to take rent from Randal-san, so I go to his room and find him there. Wasted. On the floor. I guess, I would leave him to be for now.


    However, my sight lands on a piece of crumpled paper in his arms. It piqued my curiosity, so I took it from his clutches and started to read.


    Greeting, scoundrels and thieves


    You have no need of my name, nor do you want to know it. Trust me on this.


    However, what I want you to know is that there is an elf in the town.


    Yes, and not just an elf, but an elf maiden of unrivaled beauty.


    She will be accompanied by a lone warrior, so it wouldn¡¯t even be a challenge for professionals like you.


    Thus, I want you to capture her alive and well, and meet me at the place XXX


    For this, your reward will be ¡­


    Holy shi¡­

 Chapter Fourteen - Im surrounded by perverts

    I¡¯m not a person that does anything without a reason behind the action.


    Instead of following my emotions, I always tried to remain rational, despite the odds. Perhaps, because of such shallow character of mine, I took my transition better than I expected. I never allowed myself to be emotional, to be ordered around by feelings since the incident long time ago¡­


    However, since the day I met that man, my plans were never complete, despite the sudden victories. Just like how in novels, no matter how complex and well-thought the plan was, something completely unexpected would happen, only for that man to solve the problem as a last ditch effort.


    For example, even if we were to raid a bandit hideout, a high-level monster would like appear, attracted to the bloodshed. Normally, a probability of such chain of events would be incredibly close to zero, but with that man it was to be expected.


    Thus, when I conceived my plan, I always had that man¡¯s bizarre talent to get in troubles in mind, expecting the unexpected. Hmm, maybe instead of learning the art of magic, I should¡¯ve chose to pilot a giant robot, because I sound like a hot-blooded youth right now.


    ¡­ Ignore that


    ¡°Boss, it¡¯s time¡­¡±


    I follow my student (gopher) to the stage, feeling the shackles on my hangs clung, matching the rhythm of my footsteps. It may be a bit dramatic, but I specially made them this way. Naturally, I can easily escape them any second. However, I still play the role of a distressed maiden.


    ¡°Let¡¯s get this over really quick. I want to eat¡±


    I hear Alan grumble behind me and shoot him an angry glare, making him shut up instantly. Certainly, there¡¯s a time and place for everything, but the time to satiate that bottomless pit you call a stomach is not now, idiot.


    ¡­ His frightened expression is certainly superb. I am quite pleased.


    ¡°Ahem¡­ Greeting, ladies and gentlemen! I am glad to see so many faces at this auction!¡±


    Akira¡¯s boyish voice reverberates through the whole hall, despite how big it is. I am sure that a person who made this building had a very good grasp of acoustics. Instantly, nearly every person turns their attention to the stage, where I, Alan and Akira stand.


    ¡°Now, we all know why we gathered here! I present you the elven maiden from a distant land. Oh, and for your information, this pretty head would sell for quite a sum¡±


    A soft murmur passes through the crowd. I can feel the audience intently watching me from head to toe, and some of them do so with barely restrained lust. However, a skinny man in the front rows questions loudly.


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    ¡°Where is da catch, ¡®ere? Why wouldn¡¯t ya just take da reward?¡±


    It takes me a lot not to smile at his words.


    ¡°It¡¯s quite simple. I am sure that a man of your craft would have certainly knew of recent assaults at the docks. According to my resources, some masked warrior attacked during the slave transportation, leaving the guards unconscious and stealing the goods. Last time I heard, he was searching for an elf girl¡±


    ¡°So?¡±


    ¡°I am not so confident to face an opponent who could dispatch a squad of armored men by himself. Instead, I am willing to sell this girl for a humble payment. Quite simple, yes? You may think of me as a medium of sorts, or would a matchmaker be a better title¡±


    Damn, she got too absorbed into the role. I¡¯m sure that Akira would¡¯ve made a very good actress, but this is my dignity you¡¯re selling right now. I feel their dirty gazes on me! I feel them!


    ¡°Ahem¡­¡±


    Slightly coughs a sharply dressed man with a trimmed goatee. He looks like a serious person, so I am sure he will ask something reasonable, like¡­


    ¡°I want to ask about the product¡¯s quality. Is she still a virgin?¡±


    He is a pervert, too! Stop staring at me like I¡¯m a piece of meat! Don¡¯t stoke your chin, as if you thinking about something important!


    ¡°O-Of course. She is as pure as snow¡±


    W-What are you talking about, Akira? You are correct, but don¡¯t look so smug, when telling someone about this. Don¡¯t you have a sense of shame? That¡¯s your beloved teacher you¡¯re talking about!


    ¡°Is that so? Then, it was a good idea to come here. After all, it¡¯s rare to see an elf outside of their territory, and nearly impossible to acquire one as a slave. She would be the prefect addition to my harem!¡±


    Don¡¯t try to sound cool, pervert!


    ¡°Now-now, I am not so sure¡­¡±


    A husky, but certainly womanly voice retorts. I see its owner, a tanned woman with gigantic assets and a very short dress. Finally, someone with a lick of common sense here¡­


    ¡°¡­ Rather than becoming an old man¡¯s possession, she would look better by my side. I will make sure to treat you well, little birdie¡±


    She winked at me, licking her lips.


    ¡°Oh, and that hunk over there would also do quite well¡±


    I am surrounded by perverts.

 Chapter Fifteen - I will endure or not

    ¡°I¡¯ll give you four thousand grand for the girl!¡±


    I looked at the pervert number one, also known as Marcel Knox, a local mobster with a really big name around here and even a bigger wallet, it seems: four thousand grand is about an average noble¡¯s income per year. In other words, it¡¯s really big money. I¡¯m not sure whether I should feel honored or disgusted by the depths of his perversity.


    ¡°Heh! Only four? You¡¯re such a push-over, old man. Hey, you there, make that six thousand grand! I¡¯ll have some elven dish tonight!¡±


    I heard a sultry voice of the pervert number two, Karina Berthold, a so-called queen of the underworld. It looks like her definition of ¡°elven cuisine¡± involves a particular elven maiden, her and a very sturdy bed, if the rumors I picked up now are correct.


    ¡°Oh my, how come such poor and unrefined people have gathered here. Truly, it would be a shame, if such a beautiful flower were to be bought by somebody other than this great me, yes? Oh, my dear friend, I would gladly pay you seven thousand grands¡±


    Oh, and here comes the pervert number three, simply known as Mister Anura, is of the beastman race, the frog sub-species.


    He is a rotund, sweaty, two-footed monster, dressed in clothes made for a human two-sizes smaller. Also, I¡¯m not one to point this out, but he is scary as sin.


    ¡°Hey, don¡¯t write me off, brats! I¡¯ll raise the price to seven and a half thousand grands, you hear me? I may be my only a chance to do an elf, after all¡­¡± said the pervert number one with a smug smile on his face.


    Endure¡­


    ¡°Oh? And what would an old man do, huh? We both know I am more skilled. And besides, I have stamina to go all night long¡± said the pervert number two, while seductively licking her lips. I shuddered, when our eyes met, and for a good reason.


    Endure¡­


    ¡°My, such impudent language you use, my fair lady. I, on the other hand, have only pure intentions in me. Namely, I want to take a good look and have a good taste of every nook and cranny¡± said the walking dead man previously known as the pervert number three.


    Endure¡­ Ah, to the hell with this!


    ¡°Alan, it¡¯s time!¡±


    I shouted at him, before activating a magic sequence I inscribed into our chains earlier. At my command, they crumbled, setting both of us free. And, with my first step, I sealed the doors, creating a giant trap.


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    ¡°Here, boss¡±


    Akira shouted, throwing us our weapons. I felt the familiar sensation of wood in my hands, as my staff was finally returned to its owner. Now, it¡¯s time for some divine punishment!


    ¡°In my whole life, I was never faced with such humiliation. For this, all of you, perverts, will face my righteous wrath!¡±


    I threw a singly fireball at the crowd, aiming at the trio of perverts, but the spell was intercepted with a barrier.


    ¡°Don¡¯t think we weren¡¯t prepared for troubles, girl!¡± shouted the pervert number two, while holding the barrier. ¡°However, you¡¯re not only a hot piece of ass, but also a mage. I think I¡¯ve fallen in love¡±


    Oh no, not this crap. I had enough for today and forever again. I will kill them all one by one no matter what it takes. I, with my intentions clear, decided to use something more advanced.


    [Frozen Shot]


    It was only a middle-level ice spell, but in my hands, it was much more. I crushed all resistance without mercy with a really big piece of ice, sending them flying with an expression of shock on their faces, and it felt so good and pleasant¡­


    However, my happy time was interrupted by Alan.


    ¡°Marie, I think I need a hand here!¡±


    I looked at him and saw about one, two, three, ten¡­ um, many bodies on the ground, and my childhood friend facing a giant man in a full set of armor. Compared to him, Alan looked small and even fragile to my silent horror.


    ¡°Oh-ho-ho-ho!¡± laughed a giant set of armor. ¡°It was so long since the last time I faced such a good challenge! I guess, going rogue and working as a bodyguard for a crime lord wasn¡¯t such a bad idea, after all! Say, young one, what¡¯s your name?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m Alan. Nice to meet you, mister!¡± said the idiot, looking positively intrigued by the whole charade.


    ¡°Huh, what a plain name. Well, Alan, I am Gorn the Mountain Cleaver. Let¡¯s try to kill each other, young one!¡±


    Oh, damn¡­


    Gorn the Mountain Cleaver


    [Shadow of a Hero]


    Former S-Class Adveturer

 Chapter Sixteen - I wont die

    I¡¯ve never experience such tremendous presence before. It was magnitudes stronger than any beast or human I¡¯ve ever faced in my life. I could hear a faint presence in my head, a weak voice screaming at me to stop, to find a place to hide and hope that I¡¯ll be left alone and safe. It was this kind of presence that a strong adventurer emanated simply by standing there, letting his immense bloodlust free.


    I saw numerous men on the ground, all fainted from this horrible aura, and I, too, would have been among them, if not my training from before. It was like facing the final boss on the first level, only it wasn¡¯t a game and no scenario existed in this world. I could die here for real¡­


    ¡°Hey, Marie¡± I hear his voice, free of doubt or fear. It was normal. It was the same kind of tone he used to beg me for food, or to tell me about ¡°that awesome thing¡± he saw today, or to simply talk with me, like it was an everyday occurrence. It was normal. ¡°I know you don¡¯t like to bother you, but it certainly would be nice, if you lend me a hand out there or even two, okay?¡±


    Alan wasn¡¯t scared. Rather than this, he was smiling genuinely. I couldn¡¯t believe this. And yet, it was so much like what he would do. Even when we were younger, Alan never faltered. At least, he never showed that he was scared. It was me who was the voice of the common sense, but¡­


    ¡°I will make sure you will repay me for this, idiot¡±


    ¡­ I can do stupid things as well, can¡¯t I? I took a deep breath of air, trying to stop my hands from shaking so much. It was an arduous task because I could hear my heart beating at incredibly speeds, as if trying to make its way out of my chest.


    ¡°It is common tactics to go after the magic caster first, young ones. So, be prepared!¡±


    I heard the imposing voice of our opponent, and, before I could even react, a giant shadow of the two-handed sword was slowly closing in on me. I wasn¡¯t prepared for him, a man in a full-set of metal armor, to be able to move so fast. And I wasn¡¯t prepared for Alan to match him as well.


    ¡°It¡¯s also stupid to tell you opponent who you are going to attack, you know?¡±


    He stopped the attack. Alan, that idiot, somehow moved fast enough and intercepted the swing before I could react. And he did so only with one arm. I could feel his comforting presence as he whispered to me, using the stalemate as a distraction.


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    ¡°Listen, Marie, I need you to use that spell right now. I will give you some time, and when the chance appears, attack with all you¡¯ve got, okay?¡±


    I nodded at him, still shocked by the whole situation. It was something out of a fantasy novel, and yet, this was my new reality. I never had a chance to realize how bizarre this world was. After all, it was impossible for humans to move as fast as did Alan or Gorm. And yet, they did. Against all odds, they did.


    ¡°Guardians of the Above¡­¡±


    I started my chant, feeling my voice finally free of trembling. Meanwhile, Alan did his best to stale our enemy as long as he could, sending a barrage after a barrage of impossibly complex sword-skill combos. I am still not sure how strong he was compared to a normal adventurer, but the fact that he could stop such advanced opponent was astonishing.


    ¡°Guardians of the Below¡­¡±


    ¡°Not so fast!¡± roared Gorm, preparing to attack me. You see, a chant requires a precise amount of concentration from the caster and, once interrupted, needs to be started again. I could have dodged that blow with speed-enchantment magic, but that would mean starting from the point one yet again. I could have, but I forced myself to continue.


    ¡°I will be the one to command you¡­¡±


    I heard the sound of clashing swords above my head. However, since I closed my eyes shut, I couldn¡¯t see what was happening. I had to believe in Alan. I believed in Alan.


    ¡°I will be the one to obey you¡­¡±


    ¡°Marie!¡± I heard Alan shout somewhere from behind. Good. Now, I only needed the location to hit, and this battle would be won in a single attack. Heh, serves you right, compensating sword assholes. Feel the might of arcane arts! ¡°He is on your six!¡±


    ¡°Awaken, Starlight Crusher!¡± I turned around and fired a bolt of pure destructive power, one of the highest-level spells in my repertoire, and one of the most destructive. However, in order to use it, I have to burn all of my mana reserves for only one shot. Also, no auto-aiming for me this time.


    ¡°Heh, interesting, young ones¡­¡± I saw the gigantic frame of Gorm, his amused form and¡­


    Alan holding him in an arm lock.


    I could only shout his name, when my spell connected.

 XVII – Thou Shalt Not Die

    I¡¯m lying on a bed. It¡¯s soft.


    ¡°I must admit that this child¡¯s determination wasn¡¯t as overblown as I presumed, when I was told about you two. Honestly, I¡¯m not sure whether I should praise him or not¡±


    I hear a man¡¯s voice.


    ¡°Hmm, definitely the opposite! It¡¯s this idiot¡¯s fault that he looks like a mummy now!¡±


    I hear a woman¡¯s voice, as well. It sounds very familiar, like that of a certain black-haired, petite, small-breasted, extremely self-conscious, violent without a reason, moody elven mage whom I knew since I was a small boy. In other words¡­


    ¡°Marie!¡±


    I am so happy to see her well since the last thing I remember was that explosion. If she is fine, then all is fine, too. I¡¯m so relieved I can even ignore the pain in my stomach. A-ha-ha¡­ It hurts, though.


    ¡°Idiot!¡±


    I feel a familiar sensation of an arm on my cheek. It makes a sound of pain and agony, so I shout. Is this how you show your love to your friends, Marie? Well, in her case, it might as well be some strange custom of elves.


    ¡°Who said you are allowed to move so suddenly? Look! Your wounds have opened!¡±


    She points at my body. Hmm? Why do I have so much bandages on me? I really do look like a mummy! It¡¯s funny because I once fought a bunch of mummies in an ancient tomb about two years ago. Ah, good times¡­


    ¡°Oh, so this is youth my friend was writing about. Should I leave? I don¡¯t want to interrupt a lovers¡¯ quarrel¡±


    Hmm? I look at a man in the corner. He looks really old because of his white hair and short beard. Also, his huge muscles and a small scar on his brow makes look dangerous. His voice sounds familiar, too¡­


    ¡°What? A lovers¡¯ quarrel, you say? It¡¯s a dire mistake on your side, then, Gorm-san!¡±


    Oh, Marie¡¯s face is red! It means¡­


    ¡°Look, how can anyone fall for a dumb face like this?¡±


    ¡­ She did it. Again. My cheek is not made of rubber; you know?


    ¡°A-ha-ha! I see! Jokes on me here!¡±


    He starts to laugh, but not before winking at me for some reason¡­ I don¡¯t swing this way! I mean, I¡¯m sure there are a lot of people out here, who would appreciate your frame, but I¡¯m straight as a sword! Wait, I hear some warriors from distant lands have curved blades, so it¡¯s a bad metaphor. I like girls, Gorm-san!


    ¡­


    ¡­ Wait


    ¡­ Gorm?


    ¡°I said you are not allowed to stand, Alan¡±


    Marie¡¯s tone turns cold, when I try to reach my weapon. Why?


    ¡°Stand down, soldier boy. I¡¯m not here to hurt you. In fact, I¡¯m here on your old man¡¯s orders¡±


    Gramps? But¡­


    ¡°He is safe. I checked him myself¡±


    Oh. In this case, I am relieved. If Marie believes him, then so do I.


    ¡°So, how long did I sleep?¡±


    I guess, I took a good nap¡­


    ¡°About two days¡±


    ¡­ I took a very good nap, it seems


    ¡°After the battle, you were to wounded, so Gorm-san revealed that he was working for Percival-san this whole time, acting as some sort of safety measurement in case we fail somehow¡±


    This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.


    ¡°I actually never expected you to pull such trick. I thought¡­¡±


    ¡°That we will stay here, waiting to be attacked? I think that, if we were to do this, a bunch of assassins would attack us, and, if my theory is correct, all of them would be hired by you, and the next assassin would stronger than the previous one. In the end, it would still be us facing you, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    At her words, Gorm-san started to sweat a lot. He scratched the back of his head in embarrassment, trying to laugh it off.


    ¡°Was I so obvious?¡±


    Marie only hmph-ed at him, crossing her arms. Well, I wasn¡¯t expecting such outcome, so you quite well?


    Meh, it doesn¡¯t matter since we still thwarted the original plan in the end.


    ¡°However, it was a surprise for me to hear about this crazy auction of yours. I mean, what kind of insane mind would it take to plan that?¡±


    ¡°Are you calling me crazy? It was mostly common sense, though¡±


    ¡°Taking down ninety percent of this city¡¯s organized crime with a team consisting only of two people is what people call common sense now?¡±


    ¡°I rest my case¡±


    After this, Gorm-san took his leave, saying that he still has some business to deal with, leaving us alone. Again, he winked at me for some reason I don¡¯t want to think about. Honestly, what a strange guy¡­


    He also left me to deal with Marie¡­ Bastard!


    I look at her, trying to see if she is mad at me. However, because her face is hidden by her bangs, I can¡¯t see what kind of expression she makes right now.


    ¡°Idiot¡­¡±


    Shit! It looks like she is pissed off, after all. I have to run! I have to¡­


    ¡°Don¡¯t you ever dare to do this to me!¡±


    ¡­ I


    ¡°How¡­ Just how could you do something so stupid! I-I mean, I was so worried, there was blood everywhere and you¡­ you¡±


    ¡­ I am sorry¡­


    ¡°I feared you wouldn¡¯t make it! I-I thought that you would die!¡±


    I am sorry, so please stop crying! I am fine! See! I am all patched up, but I am alive


    ¡°Please, don¡¯t do this again, Alan!¡±


    I embrace her. She looks so small and hurt and¡­


    ¡°I won¡¯t. I promise I won¡¯t¡±


    She hugs me tighter. Heh. How long was it since the last time Marie acted like this? It was about three, maybe even two years ago. I nearly died that day, and gramps said that Marie stayed by my side the whole time I was nursed back.


    ¡°You better keep it, then, gigantic idiot¡±


    Damn¡­


    She smells really nice¡­


    Bad Alan! Bad thoughts!


    A/N: Guess who pulled an all-nighter!

 Omake: Academy

    It was a pretty normal day. I could see the rays of sun pass through the closed window, painting the room into a beautiful shade of red. I even felt a slight breeze of cold air, coming from the air conditioner at the back of my cabinet. Ah, how I wanted to be free from this hellish work, so I could go home and finish that game I pre-ordered almost a week ago.


    ¡°President! You aren¡¯t paying attention, are you?¡±


    Ah, it was such a nice day outside. In fact, it was so nice it would certainly be a shame to stay indoors, especially for such mundane task as the club-related meeting of the student council. Honestly, a real sin against the whole humanity and this little me in particular.


    ¡°Now then, I¡¯m all ears, Marie-chan. We are talking about this month¡¯s budget for the clubs, aren¡¯t we?¡±


    Suddenly, I heard a sweet voice to my left. It was really an angelic voice, melodic and with a hint of shyness within. It was a voice that suited an anime character with mellow personality and a domestic streak. I¡¯m so glad that my treasurer was such a nice girl.


    ¡°Umm, we already talked about this, president¡­¡±


    Oh? We did. How nice of you, people. I¡¯m relieved that this student council could work as a well-oiled machine even without my involvement. I always wanted my subordinates not to rely on someone else¡¯s help, not even mine. Thus, I can proceed with my beauty sleep, right?


    ¡°It was three topics ago, dumb-ass. If you decide to take a nap with your eyes open again, I will sew your eyelids to your face, so you won¡¯t be able to blink ever again, shitty president!¡±


    Eh? What?!


    ¡°Is this how you treat your precious, dear, beloved, cool, pretty, talented, charismatic, over-achieving, dashing childhood friend, Marie-chan?! I¡¯m so hurt, I now need a good nap to recharge my mental reserves, or I will die from depression¡±


    Ha! You activated my ultimate trap card, Marie! Now, it¡¯s useless, useless, useless to try to make me do any work! Eat this!


    ¡°Oi, are you a bunny or something, you poor excuse of a human-being? In this case, I¡¯ll make some good stew from your meat for today¡¯s dinner, bastard¡±


    ¡°Eh? Stew? You¡­ You said stew just now? I¡¯m hungry! Marie-chan, you precious childhood friend is hungry! Please, do something about this, won¡¯t you?¡±


    ¡°I already prepared four boxed lunches exclusively for you this morning. Sometimes I think that this black hole of a stomach doesn¡¯t deserve to be treated so well¡­¡±


    ¡°Hey, don¡¯t bully stomach-chan! It¡¯s her hopeless owner¡¯s fault; she is a very good girl who digest tasty food very well. In fact, she is a very hard-working girl!¡±


    I feel how something hard connects with my skull. I touch my head and find a chalk dust on my fingers. Could it be Merlin-sensei¡¯s infamous ¡°Chalk Destroyer¡±? It¡¯s impossible for Marie to inherit this scary ability already¡­ or is it?


    ¡°There is already one hard-working girl before you, isn¡¯t it? Now, clean up your act and follow your duties, shitty president!¡±


    My, what a scary vice-president I have. I honestly don¡¯t understand why gramps ordered someone violent like her to be my right hand. Hmm, I remember him saying something like¡­


    ¡°Without Marie-chan by your side, you are completely hopeless. Please, do me a favor and make some fricking progress with her already! Otherwise, I won¡¯t be able to pass away without any regrets¡±


    How heartless from you, gramps! I¡¯m shocked!


    ¡°Ue-e-e! President and vice-president are arguing again!¡±


    ¡°Hmm, I am not even surprised. I mean, they were always like this since their middle-school days, so it¡¯s not so strange to find them quarrelling like an old married couple. In fact, it would be stranger to find them not arguing with each other at this point¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to hear an advice from a blasted pretty boy of all people¡±


    The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    I send my secretary the look of pure disgust. Honestly, people like him should just go and explode. Do you hear me, Akira? I still wait for you to go boom, blasted pretty boy.


    ¡°Boy? President, you still think I¡¯m male? I am a girl, for pity¡¯s sake!¡±


    You won¡¯t fool me with your pretty face and girlish voice, demon. I know that the truth on my side!


    ¡°If you aren¡¯t a boy, then why do you wear a male student¡¯s uniform? Are you some kind of sick perverted, Akira?¡±


    I mean, no girl could pull of this uniform so nice. Heck, he looks even better than me. My manly pride won¡¯t allow me to accept him as something more than a fellow male. I may not seem so, but I¡¯m also a territorial animal, you know.


    ¡°It¡¯s because all my requests for another uniforms were annulled by someone from the board directorship! They treat me as this school¡¯s mascot for some reason! I even have a separate bathroom and changing room for some reason!¡±


    Hmm? So, are you a third gender or something, then? Well, good for you. For now, I will continue to sulk and¡­


    ¡°Now then, with this comedy act finished, we can proceed with our meeting¡­¡±


    She threw a piece of chalk at me. Again. I won¡¯t tolerate this ever again!


    ¡°Oh? That¡¯s some nice fighting spirit in your eyes, president!¡±


    ¡°Shut up, Akira¡±


    ¡°Eh¡­ fine¡­¡±


    I walk closely to Marie-chan and grab her arm. I look straight her in the eyes.


    ¡°P-President? W-What are you doing? H-Have you lost your mind?¡±


    Hmm, seeing her flustered isn¡¯t so bad. I mean, her long ears even started to flap cutely. What a nice reaction.


    ¡°Marie¡­¡±


    I say smoothly. Her face turns even redder.


    ¡°Those arms of yours are not meant for violence. They are too precious, too beautiful to be wasted for such barbaric actions¡­¡±


    ¡°P-President¡­¡±


    ¡°Instead, I want you to cook me lunch every day, okay?¡±


    ¡­


    ¡°Akira-chan, did he just¡­?¡±


    ¡°Yes, he did! Without doubt, it was a brave act¡­¡±


    Suddenly, Marie-chan¡¯s leg connects with my crotch. Violently.


    G-Gramps, I¡¯m sorry: I am not sure I can treasure you with a grandchild anymore.


    ¡°¡­ A foolish one, but still brave¡±


    I look up and see my childhood friend¡¯s cute face. Ah, her eyes are as cold as iceberg. You could lend me a hand now, you know. And when I meant a hand, I didn¡¯t mean ¡°lift me up by my cheek¡±, Marie-chan. I totally didn¡¯t mean this.


    If you continue to do this, I might open a new side of me, a side I don¡¯t want opened!


    ¡°W-Who allowed you to set flags on me, idiot?! Die!¡±


    Thus, a bizarre everyday life of Alan Muller and his student council in the Magic Academy of Common Sense continues. I still wonder what does the term flag mean¡­


    Author Notes: I¡¯m not allowed to drink ¡°Red Bull¡± anymore. I get strange ideas, when I do.

 Chapter Eighteen - I will bear with it

    I, for an unknown reason, was put in charge of the idiot¡¯s treatment until he turns healthy enough to travel to the capital. It was, mildly put, not a pleasant experience.


    ¡°Marie, can you feed me?¡±


    I had to bear with helping him with changing his clothes or even feeding him with a spoon. I never expected that I would be on the giving end of feeding someone. I mean, it was like we were a couple or something! Honestly, Gorm-san even started to call us one and no matter how much I threatened or begged, he never stopped, only telling me the word youth again and again.


    ¡°Ma-a-arie¡±


    Ugh. I-It¡¯s normal for friends to take care of each other, right? I mean, I¡¯m sure Alan would do the same, if our roles were switched. There is nothing strange in lending your friend a hand, after all. Thus, I took a wooden spoon with the soup I prepared, cooled it a bit and was about to give it to the red-faced idiot.


    ¡°Here. It should be warm¡±


    I refused to look at him, admiring the well-made ceiling instead. Man, that¡¯s some awesome work with wood, isn¡¯t it? It takes some mad skills to pull such thing off, right? E-he-he¡­


    I¡¯m so hopeless right now.


    ¡°T-Thanks¡­¡±


    Hmm, so he is finished. Well, that¡¯s fine.


    ¡°¡­ I¡¯m still hungry, though¡±


    Goddamn it! I can do this. I will take this spoon¡­ and feed him!


    Hmm, surprisingly, it became easier after the first experience, and we managed to have a nice lunch between the two of us. And, while we were eating, Alan asked me some questions.


    ¡°So, what¡¯s about those guys we defeated? Where are they now?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s quite easy. After that incident, most of them were finally captured. However, some of them used their connections and got off scot-free as the result. I don¡¯t think they will bother us after that display of power from our side, however¡±


    Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.¡°Oh, that¡¯s nice. Then, what we are going to do now?¡±


    ¡°You are going to rest well, and I will take care of travel expenses and such. Also, I will have Akira accompany me, so I won¡¯t get robbed by any shady merchants¡±


    ¡°Eh, you can honestly trust a wishy-washy guy like that?¡±


    Wait. Did he say ¡°a wishy-washy guy¡± just now? I guess, since he has seen her only in a man¡¯s clothes, he doesn¡¯t realize that Akira is a girl. I can leave it like this, or I can crush a potential misunderstanding and an associated flag as well. It looks like my choice is quite obvious.


    ¡°Yes, I cannot trust such a guy, but I can trust a girl like this, correct?¡±


    ¡°I see your point, but I don¡¯t quite understand¡­¡±


    ¡°Akira is a girl, Alan¡±


    It definitely was a good fact that he finished his soup, because I expected him to do a spit-take here. I should praise my ability to predict potential comical effects.


    ¡°H-He¡­ I mean, she is?!¡±


    ¡°Of course. I think I can see the difference¡±


    After this, it ordered Alan to sleep a bit, while I will take care of things. Before I could walk out of the room, he was already snoring. Well, he deserves a good sleep.


    I silently tip-toed to his bed and whispered into his ear.


    ¡°Sleep well, idiot. You deserve this¡­¡±


    He muttered something in his sleep about being a president, before his expression turned into that of a serene smile. Hey, you¡¯re completely defenseless, i-di-ot¡­


    However, when I turned back, I saw Gorm-san looking at me and Alan with a smug smile on his face. Silently, he said only one word.


    ¡°Youth¡­¡±


    ¡­ Damn it, Alan

 Chapter Nineteen - I will ask nicely

    ¡°I don¡¯t think you understand to whom you are talking to, missy!¡±


    Hmm, what is this. I can see nothing but an ugly frog croaking at me. I am sure there are lots of cute frogs in the world, but the one before me is definitely ugly because it looks like a human being, but still a frog.


    ¡°I am talking to a merchant who thinks it would be easy to fool me with overpriced goods¡±


    After all, I am not alone here; Akira is currently accompanying me at the market. You see, I am actually not so knowledgeable of prices and whatnot since my daily needs were usually taken care of by father. Well, I did some business with orcs before, but their nomadic ways had no need for actual currency, relying mostly on barter. In short, neither I nor Alan knew how to trade successfully.


    ¡°Eh? Are you calling me a liar?¡±


    Oh, the frog-merchant croaked at me again. I think he needs to be shown his place.


    ¡°Oh, why would I even do this, sir? In fact, I can¡¯t remember even once calling you this, did I, Akira-chan?¡±


    I look at her, meekly nodding her head. Oh my, my student looks quite good in a simple dress. I may even gobble you up right now, Akira-chan.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t, boss!¡±


    Ah, what a nice child.


    ¡°See. I can accuse this shop of bad-mouthing its customers now¡±


    Oh, who knew that a frog can turn so red from anger. It even tries to seem bigger and more imposing now, as if it would somehow intimidate me. After all, a frog, no matter how big it is, will always remain a frog.


    ¡°Y-You!¡±


    How articulate. Do you want me to praise your immense vocabulary? Well, it is pretty small for a human, but from a frog¡¯s perspective, you certainly have talent for speeches.


    ¡°Me¡­¡±


    I deadpanned with an unimpressed look. I even twirled my magic staff in boredom, hearing a loud gulp from behind. Oh my, how uncouth from you, my student. Certainly, I was not threatening this frog in any way, didn¡¯t I?


    ¡°Bah! I surrender! Look, I know my wares are pricey¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s two times normal price!¡±


    Heh, his eye twitched.


    ¡°¡­ But it¡¯s all I can do to survive. I need money to move closer to the capital!¡±


    Hmm? That¡¯s interesting.


    ¡°Why would you need to move, then? If it needs such amounts, why bother yourself with this?¡±


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    ¡°Because I don¡¯t want to die!¡±


    What?


    ¡°Explain¡±


    ¡°¡­¡±


    ¡°Now¡±


    ¡°¡­ It¡¯s because of the demons. More and more of them appear out of blue. If it isn¡¯t a sign of dark times, then I don¡¯t know what is! Villages go dark one after another, and we don¡¯t have neither army, nor knight orders to protect us¡±


    I see. So, it¡¯s more than baseless rumors at this points. That can explain the tense atmosphere on the market. It¡¯s because they realized the incoming danger, too.


    ¡°Also, there were news about seeing an e-elf in the city! It must be a sign as well!¡±


    Instinctively, I touch my hat. Ah, it¡¯s so good that it¡¯s large enough to hide my ears. I will show father my gratitude later.


    After this charade, we proceeded further and I heard more of the rumors that circulated around. Mainly, there were three main topics:


    About the king¡¯s illness and who will inherit the throne.


    About the sudden spike of demon activity nearby.


    About who slept with who and such.


    I expected the later, but the first two really surprised me. It seems, the old king is currently suffering from an illness of unknown nature. Moreover, it looks like there are two favorites for the throne, in case of king¡¯s demise: the first prince and the second prince have divided both general populace and nobility among themselves. In worst case, there might be a civil war.


    Ah, such disturbing news. I can¡¯t help but shiver, and Akira shares this sentiment.


    ¡°B-Boss, it¡¯s bad¡±


    ¡°Yes, Akira-chan. Current news are¡­¡±


    ¡°No! That¡¯s not what I¡¯m talking about! Boss¡­¡±


    I look deep within her frightened eyes.


    ¡°¡­ I felt a great disturbance, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. I fear¡­ some poor silence took ane-ue¡¯s challenge again¡±


    Challenge? Ah, the one about Erina-san¡¯s inability to marry someone isn¡¯t it? How was it? ¡°Anyone who wants to marry me, should be stronger than me¡±, right? In this case¡­


    Meanwhile:


    ¡°I feel so much better! Now, if only there was someone strong to spar with?¡±


    ¡°Oh, maybe I can help you, my boy¡±


    ¡°Thanks a lot, owner lady!¡±


    ¡­ It somehow must be Alan¡¯s fault.

 Chapter Twenty - I will make him pay

    I found that peculiar talent of my friend not so long time ago, only after both of us properly reached the period of adolescence, when our bodies started to mature. I must admit that from certain perspective Alan was an attractive young man, having sturdy muscles and sharp features, but his ability to attract romantic attention was legendary. Before I could realize the fact, he already charmed nearly all of our village¡¯s female, non-married population one way of another, and those who didn¡¯t apparently fancied the idea of going out with me instead.


    In other words, my idiotic friends somehow charmed all females in close vicinity. I was told by Percival-sama that such trait was pretty common in his family. I certainly remember that desperate look in his eyes, too. It was as if he expected some kind of certain reaction from me. Well, I took that in stride and decided that it was my duty to help those poor souls that remained unspoiled by my friend¡¯s charms.


    It seems, I became soft and from a crack that appeared in my near-perfect vigilance a great evil appeared yet again. Once we understood what exactly happened at the inn, I practically run my way back, hoping that I wasn¡¯t too late. Oh, how I hoped that Alan followed my advice and decided not to challenge that woman. Obviously, he did not¡­


    Meanwhile, Alan:


    ¡°I¡¯m bored. Hungry, too¡±


    I am currently not allowed to do anything because of the stupid rules set by Marie. I mean, I am healthy enough to swing a sword, so why am I still grounded? And yet, when I tried to breach this topic last time, Marie pulled out a trick card to make me shut up.


    ¡°Alan, I understand your unrest. I truly am, but I cannot allow you to strain your body right now. I know it may sound selfish, but I am honestly worried that something bad might happened again. I¡­ I am not sure I could forgive myself, if you hurt yourself again¡­ So, please, promise me you won¡¯t run away to train by yourself again, okay?¡±


    I couldn¡¯t refuse her, when I saw her red eyes and the way she hunched from me. However, when I promised her that, she smiled at me out of blue.


    ¡°Oh? Then, I expect you to keep this promise when I return. Now then, I am off to the market!¡±


    She made a fool out of me me! It was the first time she used that trick with fake tears against me, too. I distinctly remember how grandma used that against me once, but to think that Marie knew that as well¡­ Honestly, they are so unfair to us, guys. None of them could possibly understand all the hardships we face in our lives.


    ¡°Here¡±


    Hmm, what is this? A plate of sausages was placed before me by a kind lady that owns that inn. She gave me a kind smile. Ah, but am I allowed to eat this without paying for the meal?


    Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.¡°It¡¯s on the house. What kind of an inn owner would I be, if I let my customers loiter around with an empty stomach?¡±


    In that moment, I attacked the adversary ¨C sausages ¨C with an incredible vigor. Of course, I didn¡¯t forget to chew as Marie taught me. It¡¯s nice. I mean, it¡¯s not Marie-quality food, but it¡¯s still pretty good in my opinion.


    ¡°My, such ferocious appetite¡±


    ¡°Of course! It¡¯s a must for a warrior to have a strong stomach, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°Hmm, so it¡¯s like this. I wonder if your lover approves a dangerous job like this¡±


    ¡°My lover? I don¡¯t have one¡­¡±


    ¡°Eh? And that maiden you travel with. Or, is she your wife, then?¡±


    ¡°No! No! Nothing like this! We have been friends since childhood. Marie get super angry, when someone calls us a couple¡±


    ¡°O-ho-ho. So it¡¯s like this, huh? I must not look like this, but I¡¯m pretty skilled with a sword, too. How about a spar, lad?¡±


    I am not sure I should. I mean, I promised Marie not to train¡­ by myself. Technically, it won¡¯t count, right? Right? I won¡¯t be able to protect Marie, if my muscles turn weak from inactivity. It¡¯s my golden chance.


    ¡°Of course! I will be glad to have a par with you, miss. I should warn you, though: I¡¯m pretty strong¡±


    At this, her eyes turned really scary, as if that of a predator before a helpless pray. However, after a brief moment, it all returned back to normal, and an image of a feral predator was replaced by a docile owner lady again.


    ¡°Now then, let¡¯s go to the backyard, shall we? I will prepare my armor and weapon, too¡±


    I looked at her back, and found her tail swinging madly for some reason. Hmm, does this mean she wants to have a good spar as much as I do. It must be a pretty good thing, right?


    Back to Marie:


    I will make him pay for this.


    ¡°Boss! I think you should rest a bit¡±


    I will¡­


    ¡°Ah, she fainted! Somebody, my boss fainted!¡±


    Damn it, Alan!!

 21 - It Was...

    I am not a man to wax poetic. I, when I see something that I favor, will call it either amusing or interesting, but don¡¯t expect me to use flowery language, as if I am trying to bed some country girl. In short, I like when simple things remain simple.


    Greeting. I am Gorn Morel, but nowadays everyone calls me embarrassing titles from my years as an active adventurer. It is not like I am not proud of my accomplishments, but ¡°The Mountain Cleaver¡± sounds a bit silly, no?


    ¡°Gorn-san?¡± said a young man that looks a lot like my old comrade-in-arms. I can already see potential in him, in more areas than one. ¡°Is something wrong?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s nothing. I am fine,¡± I said with a smile. It is not good for old men like me to think so much about the past. I wave at him and say: ¡°Hmm, certainly, it was a surprising thing for you to ask me to be a referee for this match between your two¡±


    Yes, I will see something good right now, a battle between two promising youngsters. Well, more like one youngster and one desperate woman, but it¡¯s all the same in my eyes.


    ¡°Hey, I can feel you thinking something rude, relic!¡± shouted a certain beast-woman junior of mine. Hmm, seeing her in her old armor again is not so bad. It¡¯s certainly bad that her battle-ready body I helped to train turned so soft.


    ¡°I was quite certain that I taught you to show some respect to your elders, brat. It looks to me that this lesson needs to be repeated,¡± I said with a dry tone to my voice.


    For your information, most adventurer guilds across the continent are tight-knit communities of mercenaries who are willing to risk their life for various rewards. They usually require a small entry fee for an access to official quests. It is a convenient system.


    I, personally, started my path at this city and once served as a tutor for the adventurers I considered worthy. And yet, most of them were not as good as I expected, some of them even called my training regime positively hellish.


    For example, eradicating a monster nest singlehandedly and without a weapon doesn¡¯t look like an impossible job to me. Well, I must admit that this brat was cut above rest in that regards. I can¡¯t say that she did brilliant, but I gave her a solid pass before proceeding with my travel.


    Oh, she instantly started to nervously sweat, while swaying her head from side to side. I do have such impression on people.


    ¡°Good. Now, let the battle between Alan Muller and Erina Maine commence!¡±


    As I shouted, the sound of metal clashing reverberated through the air. Hmm, certainly, for an ordinary observer, it would be as if those two teleported from their place in an instant, but to me it simply was practiced movement of crossing the distance of five meters with one step. In other words, nothing impressive.


    After some time, the fighters finally settled the tempo and main trend of the battle. Just like in dance, there was one to lead and one to follow or one to attack and one to defend. Alan, with his outstanding speed and strength, naturally had an advantage, but so did she¡­


    Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    In spite of his advantage, the boy couldn¡¯t land a solid hit, while his more experienced opponent parried nearly all of them. That brat, I¡¯m pretty sure she couldn¡¯t see his attacks at this speed, either.


    Thus, she predicted where they would land even before the real attack commenced. I never trained her to deal with humans beyond basics, so it must be the testament of the skills she acquired after becoming independent from me. Hmm, not half-bad.


    At this point, it was an endurance battle. Alan attacked and Erina parried, blocked and deceived. It was a perfect lesson for an inexperienced kid like him. Somebody ought to teach him precise control, after all.


    Ah! He took another direct hit! And my former pupil¡¯s face twisted into a grim one, too. Is she so desperate? Well, it can¡¯t be helped. Right now, the battle¡¯s result was already decided.


    ¡°I can¡¯t¡­¡± Hmm, he is muttering something under his breath, even though his chest must hurt. Well¡­


    Another hit landed.


    ¡­ it¡¯s not a good thing to lose your composure at a battle like this.


    ¡°I can¡¯t¡­¡±


    Another two hits landed. Must be painful. I can see bruises forming on his skin. It would be such a pain to explain that to the kind miss later¡­


    ¡°I can¡¯t lose again!¡± he shouted, as his whole body started to glow brightly.


    He made his move. It was a simple, direct attack. Honestly, nothing great. Just your regular swing. It seems, Erina thought so, too. After all, she decided to block and then redirect the hit¡­ which was a grave mistake


    Their sword connected and one of them shattered, sending pieces of metal fly in the air. I expected this, but Erina didn¡¯t¡­


    Without any resistance, Alan made yet another hit. Thus, the battle ended¡­


    You see, after all these years, Erina¡¯s body wasn¡¯t in a good condition and the damage must have been quite high. Still, she smiled.


    ¡°E-he-he. I did it!¡±


    Certainly, that kid did it. At the last moment, he awakened the power hidden inside him to turn tides at the last moment. It was¡­


    ¡°Bull...!¡±

 Announcement

    I am sorry to all readers, but I won¡¯t be able to finish this story properly because of my recent problems.


    In about two or three weeks ago, I lost my flat in a fire. It started when my neighbor ¨C I lived in a penthouse ¨C decided to repair our ceiling and started a really huge fire. In short, I lost a lot of valuable things such as a computer.


    The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.


    I am not sure what to do now and I don¡¯t have enough time to write.


    I am honestly sorry to those who waited for the next chapter.


    In this week, I will answer any posted questions regarding the story, its possible development or characters.