《Just Another VR Game Story》 Prologue - Its so warm... Prologue --- ¡°What does it mean to progress, To move forward? To improve? To contribute? What does it mean to regress, To step back? To deteriorate? To take away? What does it mean to stagnate, To not move? To stay still? To be eternal without change? It does not matter whether the direction you move in nor whether you move or not, for it is the essence of living to live the moment you want to live as. Must improve? Nay. Don¡¯t let yourself rot? Rubbish! To at least do something? Blasphemy I say. Who are they to dictate how you live I question to the sages. Let the people pave their own way through life, even if the very method destroys that path.¡± ¡°Very good reading Timothy, you may sit back down. Now as all of you have seen this is an excellent example of Social Poetry ¨C ¡®One¡¯s Path of Life¡¯ written by Samuel Leeson or as known as the ¡®Elite Hipster¡¯ during the 22nd century¡­¡± I¡¯m bored. ¡°¡­Is a new form of poetry emerged at the end of the 21st century during the ¡®Endless Depression¡¯ when many jobless poets and news writers band together to criticise the United Gaia Countries to paint them in a negative light¡­¡± Is this what the lullaby of the gods sounds like? It¡¯s very alluring¡­ ¡°¡­Oppressive ruling when the Joint Feminist Political Party decided to break away from the U.G.C. and the Masculine Muscle Members took the chance to join and empower the U.G.C. through Social Poetry ¡®Slamming¡¯ any remaining resistance groups in hopes to¡­¡± It sounds so beautiful that I feel I can sleep forever¡­ ¡°¡­However the F.P.P. returned slammed back to the U.G.C. and M.M.M alliance with Samuel Leeson as the head Poet and his famous Social Poem ¡®Dunked¡¯. Of course, in response, the public pointed fingers at all parties claiming them to be ¡®Massive Hipsters¡¯ and their popularity¡­¡± Zzzz¡­. Zzzz¡­ Zzzzzzzz¡­. ¡°¡­Spiked in the polls. By the end of 2093, the majority of the Earthen Public has voted to elect U.G.C. for Gold, F.P.P. for Silver and the M.M.M. for Bronze in the Governmental Paralympics. As you can see how powerful and how big of a role that Social Poetry plays¡­.¡± Zzzz¡­ (A.N. You don¡¯t have to remember any of these names, it¡¯s just some random stuff I made up. Imagine the MC¡¯s voice as monotone and a bit tired) /// ¡°My body aches.¡± ¡°Of course, it does you moron! You face planted your desk for the last two hours dreaming in Wonderland.¡± ¡°But it was so warm and soothing. It was as if nature had handed me a blanket and guided me to sleep.¡± ¡°Nature my foot! Your desk was just in the sunlight. You were lucky that I woke you up before Mr. Sunders noticed or you will be stuck for after school detention¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay either way, more hours to sleep.¡± ¡°No it¡¯s not okay, Getalburg Gates Universal is being released today!¡± ¡°Oh yeah¡­.there was that¡­..thing¡­released today¡­... What was is it again?¡± ¡°Does anything ever register in that forever-sleep-deprived brain of yours?¡± ¡°Food?¡± ¡°Anything other than basic survival needs?¡± ¡°In my defence, a good amount of sleep is a vital key for a healthy body.¡± ¡°Nobody sleeps for 12 hours¡± ¡°¡­Koalas do¡± ¡°They are animals; we are human¡± ¡°Homo Sapiens are kinda animals too¡­¡± ¡°Stop twisting my words, you know what I mean! Why do I feel like I feel more tired every time I argue with you? No don¡¯t reply to that, it was a rhetorical question.¡± ¡°Because yo-¡± ¡°Ahrg! Shut up! Anyways getting back to the topic, Getalburg Gates Universal is the most anticipated VRMMO this year due to the wide range of freedom. Other games may be limited to one genre but G.G.U. includes them all. Romance sims, fantasy, sci-fi, steampunk, different realms, mediaeval, prehistoric you name it they have it.¡± ¡°Sleeping Sims?¡± ¡°No, but you can sleep in it due to the four to one time acceleration.¡± ¡°Eating Simulator?¡± ¡°You can taste food as if you are eatin- wait why are you asking the obvious questions? Didn¡¯t you read the Capsule manual when it was delivered?¡± ¡°The pillow?¡± ¡°¡­. You used it to sleep didn¡¯t you?¡­¡± ¡°The machine was so warm and the pillow was just there. I think the Gods gave me the okay to take a nap so I did.¡± ¡°¡­What did I expect from you¡­ You know what never mind, I won¡¯t spoil it and let you explore it on your own.¡± ... ¡°...Thanks pal. For waking me up.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it, I¡¯m used to your stupidity anyways. We have reached your house.¡± ¡°Ah, you¡¯re right.¡± ¡°Now get in there and find me in game. My username will be the same as always.¡± ¡°Kay. Ditto.¡± /// MC¡¯s POV My name is ¡­hmmm¡­ Bob? No, wait it was more like Steve. Or is it Chris? Sam? Andrew? Charles? Or maybe it¡¯s Ad- [Welcome to the Kainite INC Capsule Menu User - Adam Segenam. Please select your option.] Right, Adam, I was about to guess that. Totally not Adrian, nope no way I was thinking about that. Although Adrian would be a cool name. ¡°Umm... Galeson Game University?¡± Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.[Game not registered. Please re-select your option.] ¡°Oh wait, I mean uh¡­ G.G.U.¡± [Getalburg Gates Universal has been selected. Pre-existing avatars have not been detected, would you like to make a new character?] ¡°Yeah sure¡± [Please wait a moment while the game loads¡­] Is it me or the overseas games nowadays have longer and longer names. Is this made by the Germans? I thought Japan was in the lead of the VR market. Ah. I¡¯m now in a black room. The capsule did say it will take a while so no one can blame me if I sleep right? I mean it¡¯s so warm and Jackson isn¡¯t here so it should be fine. My dad always said ''It''s a shame for a man to not eat when there is a meal in front of him''. Yep. Any time Jackson is around sleeping is banned but other than that I have the right to sleep. That sounds like something that should be on that paper declaring freedom signed ages ago. The right to sleep. Yep. I should start a movement or something¡­¡­.Zzzz¡­...Zzzz¡­Zzzzzz¡­. [Game loaded. Please enjoy your gaming experience and don¡¯t forget to give your rating.] ... ¡°Welcome to the Universe of Getalburg. You are now at the Gates of your limited world and the world beyond infinite where the possibilities are endless.¡± Zzzzz¡­.. ¡°Please enter your Username.¡± Zzzzz¡­. ¡°¡­¡± Zzzzz... ¡°Umm¡­excuse me?¡± Zzzzz... ¡°Excuse me, please enter your Username.¡± Zzzz ¡°I¡¯m sorry, can you please wake up? I would need you to enter your Username.¡± Zzzzz ¡°¡­¡± Zzzzz ¡°¡­¡± Zzzzz... ¡°WAKE UP ALREADY!¡± ¡°Zzzz¡­huh? Mum, it¡¯s a Saturday there¡¯s no school today so let me sleep in.¡± ¡°Uh no, I¡¯m not your mother nor is it Saturday, it¡¯s currently Friday 4:30pm, the 6th of August, 2132.¡± ¡°¡­eh?¡­My alarm clock talks. I thought I dismantled it. Oh well, just give me five more minutes.¡± ¡°Wait, did you just call me an alarm clock. How rude! I am trying to do my job-¡° Zzzzzz¡­. ¡°Here and you treat me with this poor attitude. Me! A goddess of GetalBurg! I don¡¯t know if you are ignorant or raised up the wrong way but that is not how you should treat people¡­¡± Zzzz¡­. ¡°¡­I know you can hear me, stop pretend to sleep! Such gal!...¡± Zzzzzzzzzzz (30 minutes later) ¡°...And that¡¯s why young people nowadays are so disrespectful of those older than them. They stand on the shoulder of giants, the efforts of those before them and they act as if they own that height! Such ungrateful creatures.¡± ¡°Zzzzzzz¡­. huh? Mmmm. " I stretch my arms around, I think I heard something pop. "That was a nice snooze. Ah. It¡¯s the ghost of my alarm clock.¡± ¡°NO! What did I just say! I am the Goddess of Guidance, Alistacia.¡± A floating girl(?) dressed as a magical girl with a black backdrop claims to be a goddess in front of me. ¡°Guide? A cheat guide? I¡¯m sorry but I may be a slob but I do things fairly.¡± ¡°Who are you calling a cheat guide!? I am the Goddess that guides the new souls into our fantastic world or in your world¡¯s words ¡®new players¡¯.¡± ¡°Eh!? Really?¡± ¡°Fufufu, are you shocked wide awake now? Yes, I am what you call an ''A.I.'' for I wield astonishing power within the world of Getalburg. You should start showing me respect for I can make your life in GetalBurg either a paradise or a living hell.¡± ¡°You¡­¡± ¡°This is not a threat but rather a lesson for you to learn, that you should always show others respect before throwing that arrogance around. Especially if the other party is a Goddess.¡± ¡°You mean to say¡­that you¡¯re not the ghost of Destruction no.23?¡± ¡°¡­.what?¡± ¡°Is it possible for a being to act annoying as the Destruction alarm clock series? No, wait. That can¡¯t be¡­this person in front of me¡­is truly that noisy?¡± ¡°Oi, is it me or I feel that I have been insulted?¡± ¡°That¡¯s impossible, the chances are 1 in a kajabillion that I would encounter a person this annoying. Even if it¡¯s an AI.¡± Ah. I think I see a vein appear on the little girl¡¯s face. And also there is a red aura around her for some reason. ¡°Ho ho ho, it seems like you wish to achieve eternal slumber.¡± I immediately leap into to the air and perform a dogeza. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClyMsLwdqUc) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avLJIZLt9bk) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uxvw_2oBLdg) ¡°I¡¯m sorry, please forgive the sins of this foolish one, almighty Goddess of Annoyance.¡± ¡°IT¡¯S GUIDANCE! No matter, it¡¯s the responsibility of the old to forgive the mistakes of the young¡± I¡¯m so glad to have learned the apologising techniques from anime. (AN: It¡¯s a fucked up prologue right? Just say it. I can take all the verbal abuse you can muster up you pig!... Ahem sorry got out of hand there. So this is my story. As you can see I am an inexperienced writer so any feedback would be nice.) Chapter 1 - Nothing really happens... Ch ¨C 1 (A.N. Please point out any mistakes you find, thnx) ¡°And so?¡± says Alistacia. ¡°so?¡± I reply. ¡°Your Username!¡± ¡°Oh. Just make it Adam.¡± ¡°[Adom] Got it¡± ¡°No wait, it¡¯s A-D-A-M.¡± ¡°Too late. The system already registered you as Adom.¡± ¡°¡­You¡¯re doing this on purpose aren¡¯t you?¡± ¡°What are you talking about?¡± She faces sideways while her mouth pouts in a 3 shape. ¡°What happened to the elder who forgives the young ones? (As expected of the Goddess of Annoyance. So petty.)¡± ¡°You said something?¡± Her neck snaps back to me. ¡°Ah no, it¡¯s nothing.¡± ¡°Tell me.¡± Ah. She is giving me the feeling of treading on thin ice. Best be careful. ¡°It¡¯s just I noticed that Adom isn¡¯t spelt as exactly Adam¡± ¡°It was just an honest mistake.¡± Returns back to the 3. I can almost see music notes coming out of her lips. I pull up the in-capsule web-browser. ¡°And I just can¡¯t help to notice that Adom means Laziness in Israeli.¡± ¡°Like I said, it was an honest mistake alright.¡± I can see a sneer in her eyes, I knew it. Heh, trap card activate! ¡°It¡¯s fine, it¡¯s the duty of the young to put with the senile elders.¡± ¡°Wha-!¡° There it is! The shocked face. ¡°After all, you kept on persisting that it was a mistake, didn¡¯t you? If not, it would mean that you did it on purpose.¡± ¡°But that doesn¡¯t mean-¡° ¡°And it wouldn¡¯t do the world of Getalburg any good if their goddess is so petty. I¡¯m sure the Goddess of Guidance would stoop so low to get back at a mere mortal would she?¡± ¡°¡­¡± ¡°Right, let¡¯s move on.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll let you keep that smug face for now. Choose your gender.¡± ¡°No race selection?¡± ¡°Nope. All new souls end up as human at the start but they can later choose to deviate from the human base race. Some will alter their race greatly to the point of Dragons or Leviathans, which are space whales, while some can choose for small adjustments like Elves, Dwarves or the rare High Humans.¡± ¡°Kay. I choose male.¡± ¡°Any adjustments to your appearance?¡± ¡°Hmmm¡­ reduce any features that might stand out.¡± ¡°So no changes then.¡± Heh. I know what she is doing, trying to provoke a reaction out of me. I¡¯ll show you the results of years of not caring. A trap card to counter your trap card. ¡°Yeah¡± Yep. She looks a bit disappoint. The way of the sloth always triumphs. ¡°Where would you like to start your new journey as a new soul?¡± Spawn location huh. Other than finding Jackson in game I don¡¯t really have any other objectives. ¡°A village, not too far from the Human¡¯s capital city.¡± ¡°uh, just any village that fits those criteria? Nothing else specific?¡± ¡°Hmm¡­ Ah. And also it must have little to none new players.¡± Oh no. My eyes hurt already. I wanna sleep¡­ ¡°Would you like an explanation on classes, levels and jobs?¡± ¡°Skip.¡± ¡°¡­¡± Oh wait. I forgot she acts like an alarm clock. ¡°I mean no please. Can we hurry this up?¡± ¡°¡­Fine. Since you¡¯re in such a hurry and I am a generous person, we will skip the last 2 stages and you will be sent to Rashia Village.¡± Ah. My brain is powering down. ¡°Yeah sure that¡¯s fine.¡± And then a flash bang went off. Well, not really a flash bang but everything went white. I have a suspect feeling that Destruction¡¯s ghost made it extra brighter to spite me. Na?ve. Too na?ve. Your puny mind thinks such an action can deter the way of the sloth. I have you know Alarm Clock, that I have been through much harsher trials than this. Oh, the world is coming to view now. Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road. Huh. I spawned near the village on a grassy hill. The wind is nice, not too cold that I shiver but cool enough to counter the warmth of the sun. Why does every newbie always rush off to their starter villages in every game? Can¡¯t they just relax and... Zzzz¡­Zzzz¡­Zzzz¡­ /// Another Player¡¯s POV It¡¯s here. It¡¯s finally here. After that long character customization, I am finally playing GetalBurg. Oh there¡¯s so many things I want to do: Become an alien, explore other dimensions, fight fantasy like creatures with sci-fi tech and so much more. But first, I have to level up and get an awesome class at level ten and- What¡¯s this? A Disney Princess? No, wait a prince? There¡¯s birds, rabbits, beavers and deer lying around this person. Heck, there¡¯s even a black bear. What¡¯s with all the animals lying right next to a guy sleeping on a hill? Is he an NPC? *Gasp* Is this what they call a Hidden Quest? That leads to a Hidden Class? No wait all the hidden classes would have been taken up by the Beta testers by now but then again the game makers might have added new content after the beta testing. Hmm¡­ Standing around won¡¯t do anything so I¡¯ll just go and approach to see how he responds. ¡°Hello sir, are you in need of any assistance?¡± Zzzz¡­zzzz¡­zzzz¡­ [There is no response, it¡¯s just a corpse.] ¡°Um sir, there are animal tracks all over you.¡± Zzzz¡­zzzz¡­zzzz¡­ [There is no response, it¡¯s just a corpse.] ¡°And a horned rabbit just excreted two meters on your left.¡± Zzzz¡­zzzz¡­zzzz¡­ [There is no response, it¡¯s just a corpse.] ¡°Sir are you aware that- ¡­How do you read this? Adom?¡± I was caught off guard by the bizarre amount of animals jumping around him that I did not notice his name popped up. ¡°Keh, he is just another player! What the hell?!¡± /// Site: GGUVRMMO.ORG/forums/topic/falling-asleep-on-day-one User 1: Did you hear about the rumoured sleeping beauty on the first day? User 2: Yeah lol. It looked something out of a Disney movie lol User 3: Not only that but I heard some villager NPCs thought he was a deity or something, left a bunch of food and good stuff User 4: LOL User 3: And his other nickname was Princess cuz it looked like Snow White with all the animals User 5: ROFL I won¡¯t be surprised if there was an evil step-mother. User 2: Lol did you see the rabbit took a shit on him. User 1: lol So much shit around the guy User 5: LMAO It was recorded by our net idol who found him, Pricia-chan User 1: Pricia-chan desu~ User 6: Pricia-chan desu~ User 8: Pricia-chan desu~ User 7: Pricia-chan desu~ User 9: Pricia-chan desu~ User 10: LOL a Princess with poop with our princess User 11: ROFL the video has over a million views already. User 3: lol. And in the end I heard he timed out and was forcibly logged out for not moving at all. lol User 10: Wait wut? User 9: I thought you can sleep in the game? User 7: Oh yeah I heard about that. When you sleep over 14 in game hours it logs you out. Health safety issues. User 6: LMAO he didn¡¯t move at all User 2: Truly deserving of the title Sleeping Beauty. Lol (A.N. Sorry, I don¡¯t know how to end and start chapters since this story has no direction, just a light hearted series I decided to do. I suck at pacing¡­ Also the poop thing was Alistacia''s revenge on Adam.) Chapter 2 - New friend? (A.N. Please point out any mistakes I may have made. Thanks.) Ch ¨C 2 I had a weird dream. A crowd of Destructions¡¯ ghosts surrounded me ranging from the first edition to the latest Destruction no.33 Some were tall, fat, short or skinny. Nonetheless, they all gave the vibe of an annoying mother. They kept on chanting ¡®Princess Princess¡¯ which crept me out. Did I watch too much anime? I know I have a bad habit of breaking my alarm clocks and my parents always sneakily replaces them but isn¡¯t this too much? Did I really build up so much grudge over the years? Is this my redemption? Nah. Then I woke up. /// I fell asleep. For four hours straight. In the capsule. That kinda sounds like a haiku, maybe I should publish it. Mum found me in a drool puddle when it was dinner time, luckily the capsule¡¯s insides were waterproofed against sweat. Now I am entering the game for the second time. Otherwise, Jackson wouldn¡¯t stop complaining about my progress. Ah. It¡¯s black. Oh yeah, I logged out while I was asleep. It feels warm. And a moist, but mostly warm. Moist? ¡°-Bro¡± Bro? The male voice sounds quite faint. ¡°Bro, are you still asleep?¡± A face comes into view. Male. 20ish. Gives off the vibe of a useless old man. ¡°Who are you calling a useless old man!? I¡¯m still 23, far from being an old man!¡± ¡°Ah. Did I say that out? I¡¯m sorry, it¡¯s just you look like someone with a crippling debt.¡± ¡°This may sound narcissist but I consider myself to be a friendly older brother and for my finances- , wait no never mind that, how could you sleep through that stench?¡± ¡°Stench?¡± ¡°The uh, you know, rabbit poop.¡± I look down to see that I have a moustache, made of poop. And droppings on other areas on my body. Breathe in, breathe out. Okay don¡¯t breathe in the poop, but calm down me. ¡°And it looks like the culprit left its message.¡± He pointed towards the ground. I look to my right and see a sentence written up in broken sticks and poop. [DON¡¯T WASTE MY TIME NEXT TIME! HMPH!] Instantly all anger I had vanished after seeing that message. After seeing my body tremble a bit the Pedo(?) guy keeps on babbling. ¡°Are you okay? I¡¯m sorry that you¡¯re in this state but I do not recommend getting revenge. You will never feel satisfied and plus Pricia¡¯s fandom will guard her 24/7.¡± ¡°Such-¡° ¡°Such?¡± ¡°Such dedication!¡± ¡°...huh?¡± ¡°Not only she was willing to dip her hands in manure to make fun of me but also finished it off with a message that stayed in character, not to mention the letters are all in the right size. I admire someone with such dedication. They have my deepest respect.¡± ¡°.... Are you sure you¡¯re right the in head?¡± I truly respect those with so much energy in life. They can just seem to be able to do anything. Those who are always willing to put in the effort will forever be my heroes. While I was having an inner worship moment, a crowd of players has grown around us. ¡°Oi isn¡¯t that the Princess?¡± ¡°Hey, you¡¯re right. Guys! The Sleeping Beauty is awake!¡± ¡°Where?¡± ¡°Seriously?¡± ¡°Ba ka na!¡± ¡°Who woke him up?¡± ¡°It was Stan.¡± ¡°¡­¡± And then there was silence. ¡°HAHAHAHA!¡± ¡°Dude! Do you really swing that way?¡± The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there. ¡°No way, I¡¯m dying here.¡± ¡°My stomach hurts.¡± ¡°LOL Stan was his prince charming.¡± I notice the pedo(?) guy¡¯s face was getting red. ¡°Oi, cut it out you bastards, it¡¯s not funny!¡± Stan shouts but they ignored him. ¡°Did you kiss him to wake him up?¡± ¡°HAHAHA I can¡¯t breathe.¡± ¡°Was there a poison apple in his mouth?¡± ¡°Did you see the 7 dwarves walking by?¡± *Briki* I think I heard vein pop out. ¡°Oi, you sons of bitches!¡± Stan slowly walks up to the crowd. ¡°Keep it up and I¡¯ll chop your balls off and make you guys real princesses.¡± Then they scatter off in a high speed while shouting out random stuff. ¡°RUN!¡± ¡°HAHA, He¡¯s mad!¡± ¡°It¡¯s Beauty and the Beast!¡± ¡°Stan is protecting his princess.¡± ¡°BWAHAHAHA!¡± ¡°Be careful that he doesn¡¯t capture your hearts as well guys.¡± ¡°LOL! He wants to make us into his princess.¡± They disappeared as quickly as they appeared. Stan was grumbling while stomping his way back towards me. ¡°Good for nothing classmates, retards who eats glue, I swear I¡¯ll get them back.¡± Didn¡¯t he just say getting revenge won¡¯t be satisfying? /// After getting myself cleaned up and collected the ¡®offerings¡¯ I found lying around I made my way towards the village. With a stalker of course. ¡°Who¡¯s a damn stalker?!¡± Ah. I did it again. ¡°It¡¯s just we¡¯re going in the same direction. It¡¯s not I have any ulterior motives or anything or the sort.¡± By the extent he is denying it, I fear for my chastity. ¡°Why are you giving that look? And what¡¯s with the sudden increase in pace? Hey!¡± Noisy, too loud. ¡°Oi, I¡¯m talking to you!¡± Stranger Danger. He runs by and stops in front of me. Faces me and hunches downwards with both hands clamping my shoulders. His face is flush red and breathing heavily. ¡° *huff* Look at other people when they talk to you dammit! *huff*¡± Survival instincts MAX. ¡°Sorry, I don¡¯t swing that way.¡± I retreat a few steps while flipping my hand left and right. ¡°No that¡¯s not it, you dumbass. I just want to know your name!¡± I tilt my head in confusion. ¡°¡­For your victim list?¡± ¡°NO! As fellow players!¡± Current we¡¯re on a forest pathway towards ¡­Rasaha? Well the starter village, but suddenly there was some shouting towards the left. I glance over to see some bandits like old men in rags doing some battle cry in the distant shrubbery. "N-no way... Are you kidding me? Bandits so early in the game?" He mutters. [Wild Bandits appeared?] ¡°C''MON BOYS, LET¡¯S SHOW THE VILLIAN THE BANDITS'' HONOR AND SAVE THAT POOR LAD!!!¡± ¡°OOOOHHHHH¡± ¡°DOWN WITH THE MOLESTER!¡± ¡°SEVER HIS JEWELS OFF!¡± ¡°SELL HIM TO THE BROTHELS!¡± "Too bad he is a cutie, what a waste." [What will you do? -Fight -Pok¨¦mon -Bag -Run] The Stalker Pedo lets out an "Eh?" (A.N. This chapter is a bit short, just shy of 1000 words, cuz I¡¯m still thinking of how the story will go from there. Although I have seen a lot of comedy, coming up with your own and conveying it through text is a much harder challenge. Again thank you for reading and any feedback would be nice.) Chapter 3 - New slave? Ch ¨C 3 (A.N. Please tell me if the pacing feels a bit too forced. Like I said, I am very inexperienced in writing so any feedback would be appreciated) Another Player¡¯s POV Hi everyone. It¡¯s Stan here, or as known by my in-game name ¡®Crusher¡¯, the hero who crushes away the sadness of the world and the loneliness in children¡¯s hearts. Currently, I¡¯m having the time of my life to be playing the most popular game Getalburg. Grinding away my skills and levelling up constantly. Isn¡¯t fun to reap the rewards of your own hard work at the end of the day? Ahahaha¡­haha¡­ha¡­a¡­ ¡­ AAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS IIIIIIIIIFFFFFF!!! WHAT THE F*CK!!! After trying to help a bullied kid, not only I was made fun of by my (now former) friends but even the kid called me a useless old Pedo! And to only make matters worse, some random bandits who were passing by just so happens to hear the boy¡¯s remark and accuses me of being a molester! Now I am being held up in a cage in the bandit¡¯s hideout cave while the kid gets all friendly with the bandit leader like long lost buddies. I mean what the hell is wrong with this situation!? ¡°I know exactly how you feel Sir Adom.¡± The bandit leader says while shedding a tear like he finally found someone who understands him in the whole world. The kid nods in return. No wait, what¡¯s with the ¡®Sir Adom¡¯? What¡¯s with the formal speech? Why are the surrounding bandits act as if they found their god? Since when did the kid climb that high in the bandits¡¯ hierarchy? ¡°After all, I chose the bandit life cuz I didn¡¯t want to work¡± Wait you mean that¡¯s it!? You just didn¡¯t want to work? ¡±And Ma kept on complaining that coins don¡¯t float on poo. I got sick and tired of her and jus¡¯ left.¡± Don¡¯t you mean money doesn¡¯t grow on trees!? ¡°I found me Mates all share the same problem, and you too Sir Adom.¡± Does that mean I''m just surrounded by a bunch lazy slobs revering a lazy kid!? ¡°Who has the time to work ya bastards!¡± Who the hell are you complaining to!? ¡°SCREW PUTTING EFFORT! SCREW THE NOBLES!! SCREW THE KINGDOM!!! RIGHT BOYS?¡± ¡°OOOOHHHH!¡± Uh, why are you blaming the kingdom for your sloppiness? ¡°oooohhhh¡± And why is the kid joining in the chant!? Do you really blame the kingdom that much as well? ¡°I knew it, you¡¯re truly our long lost brethren, my eyes had not fooled me. From now on call us brothers if you are in need of help to overthrow the damn Carulize Kingdom¡± He gives the kid a thumbs up. What¡¯s with that charismatic smile of yours? And that sparkle in your teeth? Are you sure you¡¯re a bandit and not a television spokesperson? ¡°As for your assaulter¡­¡± He sends me a glare that sends my bones shivering. ¡°*gulp* Wha- what are you going to do to me now?¡± I question the leader carefully. Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation. ¡°Hmm¡­ Well since Sir Adom is the victim and he is one of us now he can call the shots. Isn¡¯t that fair boys?¡± He turns around to get a response from the crowd. ¡°YEAH!¡± ¡°Cut his balls off Adom-bro!¡± Eh? Adom-bro? ¡°Lock him up with the Horny Monkeys Adom-bro!¡± Eh? Horny Monkeys!? ¡°Throw him into Mario¡¯s Sex Dungeon!¡± Eeehhh!? Was Mario that okama from earlier!? I turn to the maker of my fate and plead to him with my best puppy eyes. ¡­Is it me or do I see a sadistic smile emerging? /// Adom¡¯s POV What to do¡­ Pedo is looking at me with a disgusting face, well he is an old man so that¡¯s to be expected. On one hand, I have no reason to help him and but on the other, I have no reason to harm him either. What a dilemma¡­ Wait, if I can get him to put the effort in my stead then I won¡¯t have to work. Yep, I¡¯m a genius. That settles it. While he keeps on wailing about human decency and civilised behaviour I whisper my decision to Leader-bro¡¯s ear. ¡°I see, yeah, that could work. As expected of our brother, your methods greatly transcend ours¡± He nods, acknowledging my verdict. ¡°Alright you bastards!¡± He draws the attention of the other bandits. ¡°Our brother Sir Adom has decided this cretin¡¯s punishment.¡± I take a sneak peek at Ped-Stalker¡¯s face, yup, pale and full of sweat. ¡°He shall accompany Sir Adom¡¯s journey until our sire reaches the so-called ¡®level 10¡¯ where he would be able to select his ¡®class¡¯.¡± Obviously, the crowd was not happy but Pedstalker seems relieved. ¡°What!?¡± ¡°It¡¯s too light!¡± ¡°He tried to assault Adom-Bro!¡± ¡°Like I said, Cut them off already!¡± ¡°That ass¡­ how lovely¡­¡± ¡°Shut Up! Use your brains for once you imbeciles!¡± The leader quietens down the group. ¡°Why are we dirty bandits united together? ¡° ¡°WE HATE WORKING!¡± shouts back the group. ¡°Exactly! Can¡¯t you see that Sir Adom now has a slave to do his bidding? Sir Adom can just delay his journey to ¡®level 10¡¯ to exploit his prisoner to work for him.¡± ¡°Eh?¡± Pedstalker¡¯s pale face returns, this is too fun to watch. ¡°Ooohhh.¡± The crowd shows a sign of understanding and looks at me with awe in their eyes. ¡°Superb, truly superb.¡± ¡°Such an outstanding way of thinking that we could never achieve.¡± ¡°He is forever my idol.¡± ¡°Such a waste of a good ass¡­¡± ¡°¡­Oi kid, yo-you¡¯re kidding right?¡± [Slave ¡®Crusher¡¯ is caught. Its data is added to the Slav¨¦Dex. Would you like to give him a nickname?] ¡°Pedstalker.¡± ¡°WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PEDSTALKER!?¡± (A.N. The square brackets are just stuff that you can ignore, they are just spoofs of video game window texts)