《Monkey's Tail》


 Chapter 1: The All Powerful Monkeys Tail: AT A GARAGE SAIL NEAR YOU!!

    The world is a weird place.


    One second your life is only looking up and the next it¡¯s like the world is about to end, and vice versa.


    Then there are times when something happens, and it only fills you with uncertainty, because you''re the first person it¡¯s happened to, or at least you think you are.


    However, all of these things stem from a single person, doing something so out of place that they can¡¯t help but shake the status quo.


    For some people, they make these decisions because they can¡¯t stand the status quo, for others it¡¯s a mistake or a stroke of brilliance; however they wish to qualify it as.


    However, for people like me, it¡¯s my job.


    Yeah, you heard me, my job is simply to shake things up in the world, I just have one teansy-weansy little problem.


    ¡®I¡¯M BEING SOLD IN A FUCKING GARAGE SALE!!¡¯


    ¡°Hey honey, is that a monkey¡¯s tail?¡± woman


    ¡°Oh God, I knew this guy was weird, but who keeps a petrified monkey¡¯s tail as a souvenir?¡± Man


    ¡®HEY!!  FUCK YOU!!  I AM SO MUCH MORE THAN A FUCKING SOUVENIR!!¡¯


    The woman was fidgeting slightly and looked extremely uncomfortable.


    ¡°Umm, honey, let¡¯s just leave, that and the rest of the things here are making me uncomfortable.¡± Woman


    ¡®Alright, that I won¡¯t argue with.  Our aura isn¡¯t exactly what anyone in their right mind would call welcoming.¡¯


    Incidents continued for the rest of the day until a teenage boy wearing a blue hoodie walked up to me.  He had grey blue eyes, very peculiar for this world, to say the least.  He had an under-bite but that didn¡¯t stop his cleft chin from being prominent.  His hair was brown, but flecks of grey hair could be seen, despite his young age.


    ¡®Kid has to be Irish, I don¡¯t know of many other ethnicities that age so quickly and terribly.¡¯


    The kid had an expression that came off as pissed off, though he wouldn¡¯t be the first that I¡¯d met that looked pissed even if chipper.  His eyes, however, showed his true colors, curious with a tinge of mischief.


    The kid looked at me and started mumbling to himself, he touched me and, despite my best efforts, wasn¡¯t driven away by my unsettling aura.


    ¡®Looks pissed when he isn¡¯t, eyes that sparkle, ages like milk, resistant to my aura, and I¡¯ll be damned if he doesn¡¯t have his own brand of mischief.  This kid is definitely related to that


    damned midget.  Oh yeah, he is going to be a fun owner.¡¯


    The ornate spear covered in Norse runes to my right was just as bewildered by this as myself.


    [umm, Monk, you''re resisting him, right?]


    {yeah Gung, I am.  This kid is either naturally resistant to our aura, has literally no connection to his instincts, or is actually compatible with us like the old man¡­  oh shit he¡¯s taking me to the counter!  He¡¯s actually going to buy me!}


    [well shit.  Good luck man, gods be with you and all that jazz.]


    {well at least I don¡¯t have to deal with the old man¡¯s passive aggressiveness anymore.  Till we meet again, Gung!}


    [hahhh¡­ are you ever going to call me by my full name?  It¡¯s kinda disrespectful, the Dwarves would get pissed if they found out someone was calling the greatest spear they ever made with a nickname, they would get supremely pissed off.]


    {hahhh, again with this?  Firstly, as the guy that ate all magic in this universe, pretty sure I outrank you, secondly, there aren''t any Dwarves here anymore, remember?  They all went poof a few months before I went and ate all the magic.}


    He didn¡¯t talk much after that.  The two of us were some of the only surviving relics of the old days, back before my owner at the time decided this world shouldn¡¯t have magic and ordered me to eat it all.


    He was barely holding on after all these years, without the magic to support his enchantments, he¡¯s nothing but an ornate spear that, to his credit, still has no equal.  But that isn¡¯t all too surprising, he is the only remaining spear forged by the Dwarves, let alone blessed by the Aesir.  If it wasn¡¯t for that blessing, he¡¯d be just like all the runes covering his body, dead and dormant without the mana to feed him.


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    Ah well, all of us have learned to deal with it at this point.  Nobody but a few of the more dickish ones really hold it against me, as far as I know;  That demon crown of the Tudors being one of them, the cold hearted bitch.  I didn¡¯t really have a say in the matter, and if it¡¯s asked of me, it will be done, no matter how unreasonable or impossible.  Unlike the others, my existence isn¡¯t bound by conventional magic, I''m bound by¡­ other things.


    The teen took me to the stand where the Old Man''s son was selling all of us, bit by bit ruining all his father¡¯s work.  Though that wasn¡¯t really surprising.  The Old Man¡¯s son was like most people, creeped out by the aura us relics exuded.  He wanted us as far away from him as possible.  When he saw that the teen was taking me away, he was giddy, the bastard.


    ¡®Oh, yeah, no need to thank me!  I am the only reason your mother even looked twice at your father AFTER ALL!¡¯


    I met the Old Man when he was still young.  Him, Gung and I had quite a few adventures before he died of liver failure.  He decided not to use me to extend his life again, but I would have been disappointed in him if he did.  It¡¯s always best to go off on a high note, especially if that high note is dying in the first family you¡¯ve had in over three hundred years.


    ¡°How much?¡± Teen


    ¡°That, you can have for free, hell I¡¯ll even give you the spear for free!  Seeing how it doesn¡¯t creep you the hell out.¡± Ungrateful Dick


    The teen is stunned, and rightfully so.  If Gung didn¡¯t creep people out so much, he could probably go for a couple grand easy; I mean, he was an ornately crafted, white oak spear with pure gold inlay and Norse runes.  I, on the other hand, was the tail of a monkey with translucent fur, that if anyone with a penchant for magic saw, would realize was glowing.


    I was a novelty, he was a masterpiece.


    The Teen didn¡¯t waste an instant after that, ran over to Gung, and bolted.


    [well this isn¡¯t how I expected our reunion to go.]


    {Can¡¯t wait to see how he reacts to our existence, Fae-kin give the best reactions in my opinion.}


    [you can say that again, by the way, how do you know he¡¯s Fae-kin?  Pretty rare these days and Bulg said you never showed up in Ireland, last time we met.]


    {I did however have a few run ins with that leprechaun bastard, and this kid is startlingly similar.  I think I can see some Morrigan in ¡®im too.}


    He sends the feeling of him shuddering to me.


    [I hope he isn¡¯t like Morrigan, way too much work if he is.]


    {So, how should we do it this time?  I¡¯m of the opinion we slowly invade his dreams and make him discover our existence on his own, or start screaming at him in some dead language while he¡¯s by himself?}


    He stays silent for a minute before answering.


    [Let''s go with dead languages, don¡¯t want him thinking he¡¯s crazy, or he might bury us in a ditch.  However, let¡¯s not shout, but do that demonic whispering thing and actually say weird shit.]


    {Alright, lemme just give you some extra mana then.  Gods know I have way too damn much of the stuff.}


    I felt a little drain out of the near endless pool of mana I had stored up, a side effect of eating all magic in this reality.  If I had more freedom in how the wish was made, I would probably be as powerful as a God, and with none of the restrictions.


    The rest of the way was spent in idle conversation about how we were going to spend our time with our new owner.  Mostly how we were going to fuck with his head.


    It¡¯s always fun to screw with a scientific mind that didn¡¯t understand magic.


    However, things got weird when we finally arrived at his house.


    Let¡¯s just say the brothers Grimm would have a field day with his family.

 Chapter 2

    I had been placed into the Teen¡¯s backpack not long after he got me, so I couldn¡¯t really see anything.


    However the shrill, bitchy voice was more than enough to give me an accurate description of the scene, as well as the other, equally annoying, voices that accompanied it soon after.


    ¡°WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!!¡± Bitchy Mother?


    ¡°Oh joy, you''re not high anymore.¡± Teen


    ¡°EXCUSE ME?!  GO INTO YOUR NOW, YOU WANNA INSULT ME, YOU DON¡¯T GET DINNER!¡± Plain Old Bitch


    ¡°Heh, we both know you weren¡¯t gonna feed me tonight anyways, so just do me a favor and stop lying to both of us.¡± Teen


    She started screaming again, but most of it was unintelligible, so I ignored it.  I then heard him moving up a flight of stairs, then I heard asshole number two of the family.


    ¡°Hey!  What¡¯s this?  One of nerd friends give you a spear for LARPING!  (AN, sorry, I have no fucking clue on how I¡¯m actually supposed to write jock laughing.)Huhung huhung huhung!¡± Idiot


    ¡°Heh, Freshman.¡± Teen


    That elicited more angry remarks.  This guy is a real master at annoying people, Loki would be impressed.  The thing is though, all of these people felt like they deserved it.  I was good at reading people with darker personalities, I had to deal with them for centuries after all, and the way they spoke to him alone was not giving them good points in my book.  When I started doing wishes, these guys¡¯ fates were so fucked.


    I heard him open a door, then close it, the backpack was flung toward a wall.


    He had scrap metal in here.


    Ouch.


    ¡°Oh, shit!  Please don¡¯t be damaged, Please don¡¯t be damaged, Please don¡¯t be-- Wooh!  Oh good, ¡®fraid you were gonna be cut in half there, my bad.¡± Teen


    He had picked me out of the bag and inspected me for any nicks that could have been cut into me.


    ¡®Does this guy talk to inanimate objects?  Well, lonely people each have a quirk.¡¯


    He then placed me on a desk that looked homemade table, but not before I saw his homebuilt computer, it was ramshackle.  The parts looked pieced together from random sources, probably dumpster-dived out of a Best Buy.


    He gave it a few bangs to the side before mumbling to himself that he¡¯d have to go hunting again for spare parts.


    He logs into the computer, that has a password forty digits long, that was also a mix of random numbers and letters.


    Does his family really harass him that much?


    The sound of grunting, explicit moaning, and one hell of a lot of slapping derails my train of thought.


    The Teen then starts mumbling and cursing about a slut and manwhores, then grabs a supersoaker, walks out of the room opens the door to the adjacent room and moves to spray a man pinning a woman to the wall, before he abruptly stops and talks in obvious amusement.


    ¡°Really, Johnny?  Really?  You do know that you''re the seventh this month, right?  And the last two both had herpes and genital warts, right?¡± Teen


    They both stop immediately, the girl gets enraged, and the guy blanches completely.


    ¡°Bu-but I¡¯m wearing a condom¡­¡± Johnny


    The Teen who bought me starts waving at Johnny as if to calm him down.


    ¡°And those don¡¯t work for either warts, or herpes!  But don¡¯t worry, she doesn¡¯t have herpes on her lower regions, would have been complaining if she did.¡± Teen


    He starts to sigh in relief, though the Teen starts turning back and shouts at him while closing the door to this room.


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    ¡°Though she has been complainin¡¯ about blisters on ¡®er hands.¡± Teen


    I didn¡¯t get a look at his face, but the scream the Slut let out at Teen was, without a doubt, priceless.


    He then locked the door and started typing searches on my fur, the surprising thing is that he types ¡®glowing¡¯ into the search box as well as my other features.  Guy must have some seriously powerful mana sense if he can see my glow without any mana to fuel it.  If he had some mana, he would be a seriously scary manipulator.


    He goes about this for another half hour, even checking some dark web sites, but all of it turning up fruitless.


    He picks me up and starts running his hand through my unnaturally soft fur, what, mana does wonders for the hair.


    ¡°Seriously, the fuck are you?  Glowing, looks like it¡¯s still alive, and has zero presence on the net.  Just how did you get here?  Same as your spear friend, and why does it feel so familiar?  And what¡¯s this weird gaelic rune?¡± Teen


    {umm, Gung, did I hear him right?}


    [I swear I¡¯m hiding those runes!  No one without mana should be able to see them, not even merlin was that good!]


    Then it hits me.  Fae-like features, natural at mana manipulation, looks like morgana and merlin¡­ oh fuck me this is going to be an interesting few centuries.


    [Monk?  Why are you glowing like that?]


    If I had a face, I¡¯d be grinning like an idiot.


    {easy Gung, three reasons, one: this kid is the lost son of Merlin and Morgana.  Second: I¡¯m getting my body back.  And last, but certainly not least: I¡¯m going to send us to a world with mana in about seven minutes, so hold on.}


    [wah-?  But I thought you needed to be wished for that to happen?!]


    My figurative grin only grew wider, meaning my now blue glowing aura is practically blinding.  Oscar, the Teens birth name, took notice.


    {I was, by Merlin before the Fae died because of the mana loss.  He said that if I ever found his son, I was to take him to a world with mana.  And do you know who¡¯s this kids parent are?}


    Gungnir starts laughing like mad, his own aura blaring with blue light'' it was probably using up a serious amount of mana, but he didn¡¯t need to worry, he was going to be feeding soon.  Oscar, on the other hand, was very disturbed by the situation.


    ¡°Mother fucker, just what satanic bullshit have I gotten myself invol--¡± Oscar


    And in a blast of pure mana, we ceased to exist in the world we were all born in.


    And good riddance I say.


    Oh yeah, it also caused an explosion that gave everyone in the house permanent constipation.  Including the Old Man¡¯s son.


    Fuck you, assholes.  Fuck you.

 Chapter 3

    My life is an odd one, no getting around that.  So if I were to explain it, I would have to start at the beginning.


    I¡¯m a war-orphan.  Nobody knows who my birth parents were, because as far as any record and evidence suggests, I appeared after a bomb exploded.


    In Iran.


    Kinda weird place to find an Irish orphan, if you ask me.  My dad was actually the soldier that found me, he was a marine.  He said that I practically fell out of the sky, though I don¡¯t really understand what he meant by that.


    Anyways.


    By the way he told the story, his convoy was going through a relatively safe area, before there was this big explosion.  The entire convoy got into defensive positions and my dad along with his best friend, my pseudo-uncle Jackson, were supposed to get a look at the situation, and then report back.


    That¡¯s when my dad heard a baby crying, and said that I literally fell out of the sky.  I always thought he was being euphemistic, but Jackson said that that¡¯s really what happened.


    I really don¡¯t know what to make of that.


    After that, nobody knew what to do with me.  The base needed orders on what they were supposed to do with me, and so the duty of taking care of me went straight to pops.  Uncle said that he was pissing and moaning about coming there to fight, not change diapers.  However, by the time that I got registered to go to an orphanage in a safe zone, my father offered to adopt me.


    After that, it didn¡¯t take long to become a civilian again, and then he became a high end body guard.  And by high end, I mean he was the type of Bad ass that James Bond would steer clear of.  He hired a maid to take care of me when he was away, then married said maid, and my little sister was on her way not long after.


    I was a toddler at the time, but it felt like things were nice.


    Then came the crack, or was it cocaine?  I always get mixed up with which one came first.


    I always did my best to hide things for the few times that my dad came back home¡­


    That¡¯s when I fucked up big.


    I was only twelve at the time and my brother and sister, the twins, only got screwed up with her.  My little brother found friends in the middle school football team, and became a sports fanatic, my little sister was always a pretty girl, so she just escaped from the dark reality by basking in the boundless attention offered to her by the boys in town.


    I wasn¡¯t any different, I suppose, I found sweet release in reading, reading every book I could get my hands on.


    But my ¡®mother¡¯s¡¯ influence just got worse and worse.  She had now delved into the world of heroine, my sister didn¡¯t have any boundaries set, and before I knew it, she was the class piss fountain.  My brother wasn¡¯t helping either.  My little sports maniac of a brother had also changed while I was burying myself in my books.  My little brother had become a douche.


    I did what I could, I even involved my dad.


    But low and behold, the jackass had went and started drinking, he even had an affair going on with one of his contractors.


    She was a female senator.


    He was the talk of the town after someone blackmailed her and she refused to cave.


    Then he started drinking more.


    And everyone in the house got super bitter.


    I wasn¡¯t much of an exception.


    I was always sort of an ass, however the declining state of my family didn¡¯t help in the slightest.  People thought I was a bitter, reclusive sibling of the jock and the local slut.  My siblings alone had a repulsive effect on most, however my previous behavior just acted as a bug repellent, except with people.


    People repellent.


    Anyways, now we get to right now.  I just got caught up in that weird light.  That ornate spear that was covered in golden Norse runes, even a few Gaelic strangely enough, was vibrating all over the place and the tail was floating.


    Then, after the blinding light dissipated, I was left in a white room.  In front of me was an Irish woman clad in black silks and linens, inlayed with spiraling ruby designs.  She had black fairy wings on her back, raven black hair and was very beautiful.  She even had pointed ears.  Her eyes though, those were blood red.  She had a smile that was both bone chilling and heartwarming, it could be taken as either or and I doubt that either would be an incorrect interpretation.


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    Standing next to her was a man who, for all intents and purposes, looked like an older version of me.  It was weird as all hell, I mean, even his freckles were similar.  His hair was a few shades lighter than mine, but goddamn is this weird.  He was clothed in a grey cloak with a blue undershirt, both had the same golden inlay as the woman''s.


    Am I related to this guy?


    The woman starts speaking, her voice more entrancing than a singers.  She is looking at the man.


    ¡°Are you sure this is going to work Myr?¡± Woman


    He looks at her with a reassuring smile.  He speaks with a voice that, low and behold, is the exact fucking same as mine.


    Definitely related to me.


    ¡°All the precautions are in place, my Dear.  Now, I believe the recording has started.  Hello there, Oscar, if you¡¯re seeing this, it means you¡¯ve been found by that bastard monkey, your benefactor.  I just want to get this out there, the monkey has your best interests at heart, I just don¡¯t like him.  Now, you have probably tried talking to us, but know that we aren¡¯t actually here.  I took a quick peek at the world in the future, so just think of this as a recording, just very, very much more complicated.¡± Myr?


    The woman pipes up this time.


    ¡°You might know about us in the future, or you may have never even heard about us.  However, your father''s name is Myrddin Wyllt, or Merlin.  My name is Morrigan, or Morgana Le Fae.  The second name is what we are, pretty sure, others will call us in the future once we¡¯re dead.  Sorry, my future sight isn¡¯t always all that reliable, I mean I once tried to kill your uncle and father because they would take my son away from me, didn¡¯t see this coming though.¡± Morrig-- MOM?!


    ¡°Now, you are what''s called a Fae-kin, normally you would just be a human that has an unnaturally high aptitude for the mystic arts, but you are both my son and your mother''s son.  Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is standard for you.  You are the only remaining Fae in existence, the son of the most powerful Fae queen in history, and a druid that even the Tuatha De Danann offer not but respect.  So yeah, not sure what¡¯s going to happen to you once you get your magic back.  Suffice it to say, I hope you¡¯re not too attached to the clothes you''re wearing right now, because that is going to be torn to shreds by your wings.  That is the only thing I¡¯m certain you''re going to get.  Alright, you gotta get going now, remember this, doesn¡¯t matter where you are or who you become, your mother and I love you.  Also I left a few more of these messages as mile stones for you gaining power, so do that.¡± Dad?!


    Both start waving to me and I feel a tugging sensation at every fiber of my body, and I¡¯m a bit too shocked to actually try and resist it.


    I blink, and when I opened my eyes, I was surrounded by nothing but forests.


    I was kneeling, the wind was blowing and it seemed to pierce through my clothes.  Actually, why does it feel like--


    ¡°WHY THE HELL AM I NAKED?!¡± John/Oscar


    I hear someone snicker to my left, I turn to see him.


    It¡¯s a fucking monkey with oddly familiar fur¡­


    ¡­


    ¡°Mother fucker!  You¡¯re the monkey that tail came from!¡± John/Oscar


    He snickers again and speaks in an amused voice.


    ¡°Close, in reality, I¡¯m the tail this monkey came from.  Anyways, look behind you, being nude isn¡¯t the only new addition for you.¡± Monkey


    I turn to look at my back.


    My brain stops working all together.


    ¡°Great¡­ I¡¯m fucking tinker bell¡­¡± John/Oscar


    ¡®How can any of this get worse?¡¯


    ¡°GRAAAAARRR!!¡± Bear


    ¡®Oh look¡­


    ¡­


    a bear¡­.


    ¡­


    Fun.¡¯

 Chapter 4

    John/Oscar POV:


    ¡°Run!  Run little Fae boy!  Run!  Your life depends on it!  Hoohoohahahahahaa!¡± Bastard Monkey


    I had been running away from the bear for the last few minutes, and it was surprisingly easy.  The wings didn¡¯t seem to actually be there, strangely enough, and literally passed through solid matter.


    I found that out when the bear tried to eat one.


    Seriously, how the fuck did I get in this situation?!


    And why do I find this really, really fun?!


    Did my brain get fucked up when I came here?!


    I stop running just before I run into a huge wall of brambles, all of them glowing purple.


    Before I can start running again, all my instincts yell at me to duck, so I do.


    I am very glad I ducked.


    Above me flies a gigantic wall of brown fur, straight into the brambles.


    ¡°HUWAAAARGH!!¡± Bear


    It tried to move to get out, it¡¯s filled with fear, the only problem was, the brambles all snapped around it like trap that had only barely refrained from springing.  The bear screamed in absolute terror before the plant started slowly burying itself into the ground.


    ¡°Holy shit¡­¡± John/Oscar


    ¡®Just where the fuck am I?  First it¡¯s the wings, next it¡¯s that weirdass bear, now it¡¯s these weirdass plants that eat bears!  BEARS!!¡¯


    ¡°Woooh~!  Never seen a plant do that before!¡± Bastard!


    I turn to look at the asshole monkey that did nothing but mock me while I was busy being hunted by a bear.  He even made fun of me.


    I grip my fist tighter and tighter as my rage at him only continues to grow in quality and quantity.


    I feel a warmth growing from my back, but disregard it.  It wouldn¡¯t be the first time today that my wings did something weird.


    The monkey just grins, crosses his arms, and speaks in a mocking tone.


    ¡°Is that a spear in your pocket?  Or are you just happy to see me?¡± Monkey


    ¡®He¡¯s trying to get me to look my junk so he can run?  Because I know for a fact that I don¡¯t have a boner.  No one gets a boner from being hunted by a bear, no one.¡¯


    An old voice, one that rumbles like distant thunder, is the only thing that answers the monkey besides my seething rage.


    ¡°Please Monk, enough with the jokes.  Why didn¡¯t you tell me that he awoke, or that he was in life threatening danger?  Are you trying to kill the last of the tuatha de danann?  Let alone their king?  Kinda asking for trouble from the fae of this world.¡± Crow


    I looked to the direction the voice came from, it was a crow, larger than even eagles.  It¡¯s plumage was black as pitch, it¡¯s eyes golden.


    It¡¯s beak didn¡¯t even move when it spoke, this only elicited questions from me, leading me to forget my anger entirely.  This wasn¡¯t the first time something like this happened, put something interesting before me and I forget all my anger.


    ¡°So, talking monkey, talking crow, what''s next?  A talking spear that shoots lightning?!¡± Oscar, why not?


    The monkey finds this simply hilarious, making me remember my rage.  The warm, tingling sensation in my back returns.


    ¡°Holy¡­ Been a long time since I last saw those wings.¡± Crow


    ¡®What does he mean by that?¡¯


    I catch a wisp of flame in my peripheral vision.  I turn to see it¡¯s source, but there¡¯s nothing; well except for one of a lot more wisps.  I keep turning and turning and turning, the same wisps the constant result. Eventually I just fall flat on my ass, the monkey seems to be dying of laughter at this point.  Even the crow has an amused glint in his eyes.


    Not that I can really blame them, I probably looked like a dog chasing it¡¯s own tail.


    ¡®Wait a minute, wings, flames--  holy shit MY BACK IS ON FIRE!!¡¯


    I had slowly turned my head around, thinking that maybe my wings had something to do with it.  I was right.


    They looked like a fireworks display.  Green flames decorated the edge, red in the center, and blue followed the same patterns that were less ethereal than the rest of my wings.


    I did what any sane man would do when they realised they were on fire.


    I stopped, dropped, and rolled.


    ...


    It proved ineffective.


    So I went with strategy number two!


    Run screaming and hope the fire department comes to save you.


    ¡°AHHHHH!!¡± Oscar


    ¡®Wait!  What if there isn¡¯t a fire department in this world?!  FUCK!!  THAT HURTS!!¡¯


    I ran into a tree, plan two also proved ineffective.  Moving on to plan three--


    ¡°Hooohooheee~ stop. heehee~ Stop!  You''re making me die of laughter!  HAAHAAHAAA!¡± Monkey


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    ¡°Haaa~, Oscar, just calm down, the flames are being activated by your emotional state.  Also, if you pay attention, they don¡¯t harm you in the least.¡± Crow


    I stop for a moment, and realize he was right.  There was flame all over my back, but no burn marks were present, none at all.


    ¡®Okay, so calm down, calm down and think of a cool stream¡­ a cool streaa-why does my back feel wet?  Oh no, don¡¯t tell me.¡¯


    I look turn my head with a mortified expression just to see that now my wings looks like a rushing torrent of water.


    ¡°Ohhohoh!  He is definitely going to be an interesting one!  It took little Morry years to unlock her second set of wings.  Really, good on you.  You have absolutely no understanding on how to use them, but good on you.¡± Monkey


    I don¡¯t really know what to think about this monkey, first he sends me to an alternate reality, then he watches as I¡¯m nearly mauled to death, then he makes fun of me while I may have been on fire.


    ¡®Wait a minute¡­ I¡¯m in another world¡­ oh fuck¡­¡¯


    Realization hits me like a train.  I¡¯m in another world.  If my family was fucked before, it¡¯s definitely fucked now.


    Or are they?  I know dad still liked me, but the others¡­ well¡­


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, when I brought you here, I cut your strings of fate from the entire web.  It will be like you never existed, because for all intents and purposes, you didn¡¯t.  The person named Jonathan Juevos never existed.  All that remains are a set of memories that aren¡¯t even real.  You don¡¯t have to worry about people missing you.¡± Monkey


    His sombre voice and overall sorrowful expression surprises me.  A sad smile adorned his face, his eyes downcast and somehow nostalgic?


    ¡°How did you know that¡¯s what I was thinking?¡± Oscar


    He looks at me with a knowing smile, his previous demeanor slowly fading, but not leaving completely.


    ¡°Let¡¯s just say I have some first hand experience.  Now then, chop chop!  Can¡¯t spend forever in this forest!  We need to find you a Fae, they¡¯ll be able to find you a place to rest and give you some info on this world.  I didn¡¯t get that good a look into things when I sent us here, I only got a rough look at the world.  It¡¯s pretty big, about twice as big as earth.  Little surprised the gravity isn¡¯t higher, but it wouldn¡¯t be the first time physics decided to take a rain check on me.  I should have just enough mana for a locator wish.¡± Monkey


    He looks at me expectantly, while I¡¯m a little lost.  He starts doing the ¡®annnnd~?¡¯ motion with his hands.  I still don¡¯t know what''s going on.  He just huffs and pinches his nose.


    ¡°God, what are schools teaching you guys these days?  You know that old british short story, right?  ¡®The Monkey¡¯s Tail?¡¯ war vet from india comes to this house, has a magical, cursed artifact that¡¯s looks like a petrified monkey¡¯s tail?  Not ringing any bells?  Nobody knows if the tail¡¯s magic but things happen in a scarily similar fashion to the wishes?  Still nothing?  Really?¡± Monkey


    ¡°Wait a minute, are you talking about ¡®The Monkey¡¯s Paw¡¯?¡± Oscar


    ¡°Semantics!  Now make a wish!  Come one, we don¡¯t got all day here!¡± Monkey


    I was a little skeptical, I mean, if what he was saying was true, that means that this may seriously come to bite me in the ass.


    ¡°And don¡¯t worry about any of this biting you in the ass.¡± Monkey


    ¡®What is with this monkey?¡¯


    ¡°I, umm.. I wish to be led to the nearest friendly fae?¡± Oscar


    He then scrunches up his face, making him look like he¡¯s taking a dump, then he looks curious, he focuses again.  This continues for a minute more before his face says both realization, and terror.   His voice is one of nervousness and fear, which scares the crap out of me.


    ¡°U-umm.  Oscar, h-hate to tell you this, but, uh, your life j-just got a whole lot harder.¡± Monkey


    The crow is calm either.  He speaks in expectation and mild fear.


    ¡°Monk, what did you see?¡± Crow


    ¡°Well Gung, I saw every single Fae in this world, and they are sick.  Physically, thank God, but, unfortunately, this sickness isn¡¯t unknown to me.¡± Monk/Monkey


    ¡°Whats wrong with them?¡± Crow/Gung


    He then looks at Gung the crow.


    ¡°Remember Solomon?¡± Monk


    ¡°AhhHHHH, FUCK!!¡± Gung


    A lightning bolt shot down at the end of Gung¡¯s outburst.


    It hit him.


    I was panicking, I honestly thought that the crow was dead.  Then, when the dust cleared, all that was left was a spear¡­ an ornate, norse spear¡­ with gaelic runes¡­


    ¡°What the fuck did I do to deserve this?¡± Oscar


    The monkey pipes up.


    ¡°Easy!  You were born!¡± Monk


    ¡®Can see why Merlin hates him.¡¯

 Chapter 5

    Oscar POV:


    Monk, he told me that calling him monkey was insulting to monkeys, weird guy, told me to get Gung, which is apparently short for Gungnir.


    Spear of Odin.


    King of the Aesir¡­


    My life is annoyingly interesting.


    Right now we are walking through the forest and Monk is looking really scared.


    Didn¡¯t run into any more bears, or bear eating plants.  So that¡¯s nice.


    ¡°OUOOOOOHHHHRRrrr!¡± Wolf


    ¡®What do the young people call it these days?  Jinxing it?  That or just having terrible fucking luck.¡¯


    Monk looks to the east, where I assume the wolves are, and starts growling.  His tail starts swishing violently.  He then looks up a tree and starts climbing.  He looks at me when he is halfway up and huffs.


    ¡°You gonna fly up or is my ass that mesmerizing?¡± Monk


    I quirk an eyebrow, I¡¯ve already learned it¡¯s best to tune out his attempts at annoying me.


    ¡°Ah, yes, let me get right on that.  Flying with ethereal wings that have no air resistance is so easy after all.¡± Oscar


    ¡°You have a spear that both thinks and is telepathic.  You have seen a bear get eaten by a set of brambles, that shouldn¡¯t be able to even move, and then be buried by said brambles.  You have a pair of wings that break every law of physics you know of, and are also talking to a monkey.¡± Monkey


    ¡®Wow¡­ I didn¡¯t think about that.  Physics kinda got bitchslapped multiple times in the same day.  I kinda feel bad for it.¡¯


    He then turns away and gets back to climbing.


    ¡°Just think of floating, your wings are mostly just conduits for your mind after all.  Though go ahead and try to flap them, sure it¡¯ll work out eventually.¡± Monk


    ¡®Oh yeah, cause that¡¯s helpful.  Now how do I do this.  He said think of floating, so let''s try that.  Like a leaf on the wind, a leaf on the--OOF!¡¯


    It turns out that my wings turned into wind.  The gale force of the wind sent me flying forward into the tree.


    I really need to get a handle on my new capabilities.


    ¡°Oh look, my new owner is a tree hugger, lucky me.  Also, I said float, not wind.  Two totally different things.  By the way, nice going on unlocking another pair of wings, saying you''re a natural at it is an understatement.  The only problem is that you have no F-ing clue how it works.  Great.¡± Monk


    I glare at him.


    ¡°Fuck you.¡± Oscar


    ¡°Firstly, don¡¯t swing that way, secondly, just start floating or climbing, don¡¯t care which.  Those were direwolves, which means we don¡¯t have a long time before they catch up to us.  Thankfully, these trees are tall and direwolves can¡¯t climb for shit.¡± Monk


    He wasn¡¯t lying, the trees are big and, more importantly, their branches are wide and thick.


    ¡°Giggidy.¡± Monk


    ¡°What?¡± Oscar


    ¡°Oh, nothing, just felt an opportunity, and I never waste opportunities, now move!¡± Monk


    I¡¯ve never climbed a tree before, and I¡¯m not exactly the picture of a manly male.  I mean, I look like Tinker Bell for fucks sake!  So floating seems to be my only way out, or up to be exact.


    ¡®Okay, no wind this time, just floating.  Float like some kind of wizard, cause I¡¯m pretty sure I am a wizard.¡¯


    The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    And just like that, I started floating.  It was uncomfortable, mostly because I landed on my head after rising off of the ground.  The monkey was snickering again, but I tuned it out.  Everything he does is an attempt at annoying me.


    ¡®Well, I can¡¯t control my flight enough to get up the tree, but if I grip it and try flying¡­ yeah, that¡¯ll work.¡¯


    I then started floating upwards while using the tree to keep myself upright.  It was kinda like walking up a flight of stairs while being pulled with a rope, easy but you just need to keep a hold of the railing, or in my case, the tree.


    I think I was faster than the monkey, but it didn¡¯t matter because he was already on the branch.  I got to the same branch he was on, a small bit of my pride having returned.


    It had been shattered and mercilessly beaten today, but I still had a small sliver that I would protect with my life.  After I take a sitting position near the monkey, he smirks at me.


    ¡°Wanna know something funny?¡± Monk


    ¡°No, I want you to finally explain to me what the fuck I am, who the hell Solomon is, and why the fuck I¡¯m here, also why did that spear turn into a tattoo on my arm?  Kinda piling up the questions and not offering a single answer.¡± Oscar


    Yeah, Gungnir turned into a black tattoo on my arm.  It¡¯s in a black tribal like design, and honestly pretty awesome.  It doesn¡¯t look that cool seeing how my arm is thinner than a toothpick, but still, pretty awesome.  How would I even look if I were buff anyways?  I mean, the wings make me look effeminate, so will being muscular just make me look weird?  Oh well.  Still got the feeling that I¡¯m going to need to train my body at this rate.


    ¡°You sure?  Oh well, you can find out after our teaching session.  Now, have you ever heard of Solomon and the 72 pillars?  Well, they were all real, except not demons.  It was actually based on a far older myth that faded from memory, how that tale showed up in the seventeenth century, I will never know.  Now, the 72 pillars were actually 72 items.  They were all different, some swords, others spears, you get the idea.  Solomon made these from magic that has long since been outlawed in our world.  To perform the magic, one requires a very special ingredient, a creature of mana.  Solomon used everything, Djinn, Oni, Asura, even Fae!  Some of these items have slipped through the cracks and weren¡¯t destroyed, like the Djinni¡¯s lamp, however the very existence of these items led to everyone hunting Solomon down, killing him, and destroying all the research.  We then destroyed all of the items containing the spirits and the Tuatha De Danann and other races of similar stature made it their duty to prevent such an incident from ever happening again.  However, it looks like after the Tuatha De Danann died out on your world, along with the magic, the races of this world got stupid ideas about using this fucked up form of enchanting magic.  Also, you are the last of the Tuatha De Danann, king of the Fae, son of Morrigan, mother of Banshees, and Myrdin, last true druid and greatest wizard to have ever lived.  You are currently on the world gifted to the Tuatha De Danann by the Primordial One for guiding the irish through the ages, Otherworld; and before you say anything about it being a crap name, your people named it, so don¡¯t blame me for it being shitty.  Finally, Gung is dormant, IE the tattoo on your arm, he¡¯s a soul weapon and needs to siphon off your excess mana, which there is a lot of.  Seriously though, you have a fuck ton, must be because of your ancestry.  I didn¡¯t meet many Tuatha De Danann, but they apparently had some crazy mana pools, and then there¡¯s your father¡­  anyways, back to that really interesting thing!  Look down.¡± Monk


    ¡®Okay seriously, what is he taaaaaaaaaaaaaa¡­.¡¯


    My eyes were bulging and I was sweating like crazy.  What I saw, in order, were my rib cage, my stomach, my hips, my thighs, and so on.  Now, as you may have noticed, I am missing, one, excessively important piece of my body.  The baseline of a man''s pride¡­


    My junk is missing.


    ¡­


    I start crying.


    ¡­


    Remember what I said about dying to protect that pride of mine?


    Yeah¡­


    It¡¯s gone.

 chapter 6

    Monk POV:


    ¡®Oh God, this kid is too easy, I should probably tell him that for Tuatha of his specific caste, the male genitalia only surface when one is either peeing, or turned on.¡¯


    But that can wait a few more seconds.  Really, this guy is seriously funny.  Even when he thinks I haven¡¯t got a rise out of him, he is just freaking obvious.  I¡¯ll not tell him that his unawakened wings change color to reflect their emotional state.  It¡¯ll be priceless when he finally finds out that they do.


    ¡°Heeheehi!  Hahahahah~!  But, hehe, but seriously though, it only shows up when your mating or pissing, Bulg said it was akin to a defense mechanism.  A screwed up druid castrated one of your ancestors to use the junk as a holy artifact, messed up right?¡± Monk


    He gives me a death stare.  If I were a normal being, I would probably have flinched, at least.  Thing is, I have had death stares from the one person capable of killing me, so this is akin to a baby looking angry, it has the opposite effect from what is desired.


    ¡®Really kid, you are perhaps the most fun I¡¯ve had since Tesla!  I wonder how Shirley¡¯s doing?  Seriously, why did he ask me to give his pidgeon laser eyes instead of fixing his crippling debt?  Then again, his screws were a little loose¡­¡¯


    Oscar POV:


    ¡®One of these days¡­  anyways, that was one hell of alot of info.  But seriously though?  Why the hell do I get stuck with this shit!  Now I gotta go all breaker of chai-- when did they get there?¡¯


    I was currently starting at the pack of wolves that, despite being half as big as that bear, had shown up without making a noise, and were staring up at me with hungry eyes.  They were all black as night, and had yellow, gleaming eyes.  How they managed to show up without me noticing is beyond me, I mean, there has to be thirty of them at least!


    ¡°What are you-- oh, yeah, that¡¯s new.  This kid, is a Direwolf.  Things are almost as strong as an earth bear, and many times faster.  They won¡¯t leave us alone until dawn comes around, so get comfortable and sleep.  I¡¯ll make sure you don¡¯t fall down, that would be bad.¡± Monk


    I do notice a look of nostalgia in Monk¡¯s eyes.  Direwolves on earth went extinct thousands of years ago, so just how old is Monk?  Questions for later.  Right now I should probably do as he says.


    Though I can¡¯t seem to shake a single question from my mind.  Why am I so calm?


    Scryer POV:


    ¡°Umm, master, something''s happened to the pool.¡± Acolyte


    I look up from the pile of scrolls and papers that clutter my desk to see one of the many acolytes of this temple.  I am slightly annoyed that she saw fit to intrude upon my work, some disciplinary action would have to be taken to teach this girl some respect.  Why would she even consider interrupting my work just for a half-demon''s awakening.  After all, the real Demons are already sealed away within the ancient weapons.  I shake my head and get back to work, only acknowledging her with words.


    ¡°Let me guess, the pool rippled?¡± Scryer


    ¡°Y-yes but--¡± Acolyte


    ¡°What is the protocol for when the pool ripples?¡± Scryer


    ¡°W-we send a squad of Demon Hunters, but--¡± Acolyte


    ¡°So why are you here instead of speaking giving out missions to the Demon Hunters?¡± Scryer


    ¡°Because the pool stopped.¡± Acolyte


    I look at her, irritated.


    ¡®Why the fuck did she decide to interrupt my word just to tell me that a half-demon died right after awakening?¡¯


    This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    I put my quill down and give her a heart warming smile.  As she seems to be sweating a great deal more, it would appear that my smile had the desired effect.


    ¡°Then why, dear acolyte, did you feel it necessary to tell me that nothing of importance has occurred?  Have you been neglecting your studies, or have your teachers failed to instruct you that the Scryer should only be disturbed when a true demon awakens?¡± Scryer


    ¡°M-master, the pool didn¡¯t stop rippling, it simply.. Stopped!  The water isn¡¯t moving at all!¡± Acolyte


    I raised a quizical eyebrow.


    ¡®Did someone use an ice spell on it?  If so, this is, yet again, not my problem.¡¯


    She huffs.


    ¡°It¡¯ll be easier if I show you.¡± Acolyte


    I get out of my chair and follow after her.  This has somehow peeked my curiosity.  My job has gotten slower ever since the last demon was apprehended and bound into the Eye of Truth.  Any who posses the Eye can see any and all magic, some tales say it can even see lies.  The eye was constructed a century ago, back when I was still a young, hot blooded scryer with dreams of finding a Demon¡¯s Dun.  Now I have been reduced to hunting half-demons.


    At least they make good components for alchemy.


    The walk from my office to the Pool of sight, or the pool as it is referred to, is rather short, however along the way we come across several other acolytes who bow in respect, waiting for me to pass before returning to their duties.


    Eventually we reach the pool, and I am rather surprised by the sight.  Just as the acolyte had said, the pool had simply stopped.  The oddly large ripples caused by the demonic presence had stopped mid arc.  The weird thing being, it wasn¡¯t frozen like I had assumed, at least, not frozen in the conventional sense.  I had gotten closer to the pool to inspect it more accurately, then poked it, and was surprised by what I saw.  The ripples caused by the Demonic presence were the only ones that stopped, the rest kept moving as if nothing happened.


    ¡®So, whatever I¡¯m dealing with is capable of stopping the tracking effect of the pool, but this also confused the pool, meaning the magic is keeping the ripples in place.  Strange¡­¡¯


    ¡°Send a squad of Demon Hunters to this forest.  I want to know immediately whats causing this.¡± Scryer


    ¡°Master, it¡¯s several miles away, it will take days for them to reach the forest, should I also give them a communication stone?¡± Acolyte


    Communication stones are Demon bound artifacts that are made from a very specific type of demon.  Being Demon bound, these artifacts are highly expensive.


    ¡°Hmm¡­ I want you to go with them if we are to entrust an artifact with them.  I would prefer one of my Acolytes watch over it, rather than some Demon Hunters.¡± Scryer


    Demon Hunters only know how to hunt and kill, they do not understand how to properly care for the gifts from the heavens that are these blessed artifacts.


    ¡®Thankfully I have one right here.¡¯


    ¡°You shall go with them.  I want you to gather as much information as you can about how he was able to confuse the pool.  If this technique becomes common knowledge, the half-demons may very well undo all our efforts.  Now go.¡± Scryer


    ¡®Oh thank the gods.  I thought I was going die of boredom in that damn office.  Please tell me there¡¯s going to be another purge!  That would be wonderful!¡¯

 Chapter 7

    *Oscar POV*


    I wake up with a start.  At first I¡¯m confused, I¡¯m not in my bed and since when do I sleep in trees?  Then it all comes rushing back to me, and yet again I feel nothing but calm; almost as if this were some regular occurrence for me, despite it quite obviously being not.


    Monk is hanging upside down by his tail to my left.  He looks a little irritated, but then sighs in relief when he sees I¡¯m awake.


    ¡°You know, you kick like crazy in your sleep.  I fear for your future wife, you may break her legs with how much you kick.¡± Monk


    ¡®Can¡¯t argue with that.¡¯


    I have a long history of waking up without the blankets I went to bed in.  Once I tried tying my legs together, just to see if It would work.  To my genuine surprise, I snapped the string I used.


    It¡¯s currently dawn, and rays from the sun are slowly forcing the fog that hangs above the trees retreat back into the ground.  Now that I really look at it, these trees are all showing signs of autumn, meaning winter isn¡¯t long behind.  I¡¯m surprised I woke up warm, seeing how I have no clothing and world should be getting far too cold.  For now I¡¯ll chalk it up to luck, wouldn¡¯t be the first thing I find weird about my physiology, but I still need to get clothes.  My wings should just phase through anything, so normal people clothes should still fit me.


    ¡®My wings¡­¡¯


    ¡°Hey, Monk, you said people have probably been hunting down the other Fae, right?¡± Oscar


    He nods his head.


    ¡°Well, what happens if they see my wings?  I¡¯m guessing these are a pretty common trait, seeing how fairies are always depicted with them.¡± Oscar


    He just waves his hand dismissively.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it.  Your wings are incorporeal, unless awakened, even then their not as tangible as you might think.  In reality, I can¡¯t actually see your wings right now.  It¡¯s similar to your genitalia, just not as powerful.  So unless they get high as fuck, you''re good.¡± Monk


    I raise an eyebrow.


    ¡°High as fuck?¡± Oscar


    He simply grins


    ¡°Why do you think they call em ¡®Magic Mushrooms.¡¯¡± Monk


    ¡°Oh har har.  But seriously, do they allow people to see my wings.¡± Oscar


    He chuckles, shaking his head in a no, staring off into the sunrise.  I can¡¯t help but think about how my current situation compares to my old life.  While looking at the very beautiful sunrise, I ask the question that has so far been raging in my head.


    ¡°So, I¡¯m guessing my life has gotten one hell of a lot harder?¡± Oscar


    ¡°Fraid so.  Thankfully, you have your own personal wish granting device!  AKA, mua!¡± Monk


    He said the last part while gesturing to himself as if he were doing a theatrical introduction.  The fact that he is upside down, and a monkey, only makes the gesture look stranger.  I begin to think on what he has told me.


    ¡°Wait, so I could just wish you to release them all?  The Fae, that is.¡± Oscar


    He sighs dejectedly, shaking his head in a no.


    ¡°Even if I still had the power to do so, the way this world was built stops me.  It seems to restrict my power, same as yours.  I barely even noticed it, but you have gotten one hell of a lot weaker since you got here.  Let me guess, you can barely even see auras now, can¡¯t you?¡± Monk


    I focus on the monkey, and am dreadfully surprised by the result.  I have always been able to see people''s auras, it¡¯s a little weird, but it has made me better at gauging people.  If I had adrenaline in my system, it¡¯s almost as if it naturally slides into place above mine, but if I¡¯m calm I need to focus on what I want to ¡®see¡¯.


    I¡¯m coming up short, no matter how hard I focus.  This is a first for me.


    ¡°Guessing from your expression, you can¡¯t.  Well, shit.  I was hoping that your body wouldn¡¯t rely so much on mana to fuel it, but I see my hopes were misplaced.  Unlike your previous body, this one is mostly held together by mana, meaning you go through the stuff like food.  It¡¯s a Fae¡¯s greatest weakness, and you have it.  So, while your mana pool would be enormous for a more corporeal being, it¡¯s average for your purposes.  It¡¯s why you were aging like crap back on earth.  You shouldn¡¯t have that many greys with how young you were¡­ oh good, he¡¯s back up!¡± Monk


    I look at him questioningly, until I hear that same inhuman, thundering voice that Gung had.  Weird thing is¡­


    It¡¯s in my head.


    [Why is it that everytime I wake up from a binding, you seem to be trying to attempting to strike a pose?]


    I had my eyes trained on the now glowing brand that seems to have grown, since it now extends from my wrist to my shoulder.  The style seems to have taken a more celtic style, like illuminated manuscript, however there are some remnants of the norse design in certain characters.  It seems to have depicted a grand story, but without context, I can¡¯t make much of it.  It must have changed one hell of alot while I was asleep.  However I can¡¯t help but look at Monk, seeking answers to what he means.


    It would appear that while I was inspecting the brand, he was making an, upside down, heroic pose.  He¡¯s currently doing the one where he has both of his hands on his hips and, while it usually depicts them looking of into the distance, is looking straight at us.  His pendulum like swinging though, that just makes it all the weirder.  If recent events, and the fact that he¡¯s an asshole, weren¡¯t clouding my point of view, I would actually find this laugh worthy.  Now it simply elicits a glare.


    He shrugs and then decides it¡¯s time to get onto my branch.


    ¡°Alright, now that Gung¡¯s back up, we can get to training.  As a Fae, you don¡¯t train your body like a normal human.  Every cell in your body uses mana as a part of it, so you train your mana, not your body.  Tuatha Da Danann are equal parts mage and warrior, and while they can train in both, neither will ever amount to the capabilities of one who trains in both.¡± Monk


    ¡°So how do I train my mana?¡± Oscar


    He gets what I can only call a sadistic grin on his face, a sadistic glint in his eyes, and he is also rubbing his hands together.  He is starting to scare me.  The illusion is shattered the instant he goes into teacher mode.


    ¡°You need to circulate your mana throughout your body, and open your acupuncture points.¡± Monk


    The sadist look returns with a vengeance.


    ¡°And I¡¯ll take care of the acupuncture.  Gung, hold him down.¡± Monk


    This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    Just then, Gung¡¯s brand flared up again like when he was talking.  My entire body went rigid, and I wasn¡¯t in control anymore.  I still had control of stuff like my mouth and eyes, but otherwise, stiff.  I look between Monk and Gung several times.  Something about the whole atmosphere was terrifying me.


    ¡°Why are you looking at me like that for?  I thought acupuncture was supposed to be relaxing?¡± Oscar


    Monk starts walking towards me slowly, almost as if her were trying to play the role of a horror movie killer.  However, his tone of voice was completely different.  It was just like him when he¡¯s in teacher mode, as I like to call it.


    ¡°Oh, acupuncture is relaxing, when it¡¯s only purpose is relaxation.  However, I¡¯m going to strengthen your acupuncture points.  Which means¡­¡± Monk


    His tail stops swishing and now it starts glowing with a red light.  It makes him look even more like a serial killer.


    ¡°I am going to be forcing my mana into your body, until you¡¯re capable of resisting.  Gung, wanna bet how long it takes?¡± Monk


    [Two hours per cluster.  Three if he doesn¡¯t take after his mother.]


    ¡°I¡¯m thinking one and a half, you seem to be underestimating his father.  That guy was scarier than his mother, when the time called for it.¡± Monk


    I don¡¯t know why, but a cold sweat has slowly started to form on the back of my neck.


    ¡°Is this going to hurt?¡± Oscar


    Both reply yes in unison.  I let out a very loud gulping sound.


    Seriously, how the hell did I get into this situation?


    *Vira POV*


    ¡®I can¡¯t stand that Scryer!  Complaining to himself about how bored he is one instant, and then going on and on and ON about how important his work is!  At least I get to leave this fucking temple for once!  Why do they even call it a temple?!  There aren¡¯t even any monuments to the Old Ones or the Eternal King!  It¡¯s just that fucking pool of half-demon blood!  That¡¯s it!¡¯


    I make my way to the Demon Hunter training grounds.  These assholes were even worse than the Scryer.  Every minute of every day is spent with only one word.


    Training.


    These people were maniacs when it came to training.  Some of them were even reaching two hundred years old, with training being their only habit.


    Demon hunters, unlike acolytes, were volunteers.  Many came from families whose homes were ravaged by Demons and their half-demon spawn, others came for fame and glory, and the last were bastard nobles and other rejects from nobility.


    I really don¡¯t like the last two, though some bastards are pretty nice.


    I enter the training ground, a smell of sweat and sound exhausted grunts greet me.  Everywhere I look, there are men and women training with swords, spears, and just about anything they can think of against one another.  They all wear exceptionally heavy training armour, though it is also designed just to be heavy while at the same time doing little to protect them.  This is done to both tire them out and maximize the subsequent pain they feel to get them ready for both pain and fatigue.


    They''re also fucking terrifying, cause everyones all smiles.  I think they actually enjoy it.


    In another section of the area, there are the mages of the Demon Hunters.  They are sitting, but also forming sweat on their brow as swell as being sporadically being exposed to all manner of stimuli to strengthen their ability to maintain focus.  They have everything, from putrid food, to hot pokers, there¡¯s even a few whores here on most days.  I seem to have been lucky in getting here when there were none of those.


    I stand on the podium that is placed here for when Acolytes such, as I need, to announce the missions for Demon Hunters.  Once I stand on it, a quick shout from the training officers tells the others that I¡¯m here.


    Everyone looks at me with hungry eyes, though they''re not hungry for me, as I¡¯ve come to find out.  It¡¯s not my first time being here, though it is the first time I¡¯ll be on a mission with them.


    I clear my throat and then make the announcement.


    ¡°Hello, a Demonic presence has been discovered by the Pool of Sight.  It read the presence to be located in Godric¡¯s Grove.  However!  This presence has somehow confused the pool, preventing it from tracking the presence, and at the same time, may in fact be preventing the pool from tracking other Demon-kin.  We must capture this Demon-kin, interrogate it; and then, if it has not already died, kill it and burn the body.  Without the pool, we will also need to track it by ourselves.  And yes, I will be going along with you on this mission.  We will be making daily reports to the Scryer, and my job is to handle the Communication Stone.  I need a team ready within the hour.¡± Vira


    One of the captains came forward, he was an old man with bulging muscles and two many scars to count on his large body.  He wears an eyepatch, meaning he lost an eye.  He had grey stubble and messy grey hair.  There were claw marks going from his temple to his chin, on the side his eyepatch was on.  The man was a veteran of the Great Scurging, going off his age and wounds.  A lucky one at that.  Most people don¡¯t get away when their head seems to have been free game to a Demon.


    He walks up to the podium and turns around, letting out a bellowing and deep shout to the entire building.


    ¡°TORIN''S SQUAD!!  FRONT AND CENTER, NOOOWWW!!¡± Captain Crazy


    I had to cover my ears after that, a little ringing present somehow.


    After a few moments wait, I could hear running coming from the barracks that overlooks the entire training area.  The door to the barracks swings open and seven young Demon Hunters come through.  They don¡¯t look all that much older than me.  They were all standing at attention though one of them, a man, seemed rather flushed; and half dressed, for that matter.  The one standing in the center, a black haired man wearing a helmet that covers most of his face, speaks.


    ¡°Torin, reporting for duty!  All squadmates, present!  Ready for briefing!¡± Torin


    Captain Crazy looks at all of them before stopping at the half-naked one.  He goes rigid under the captain''s gaze and, despite being flushed from embarrassment, he goes bone white.  The captain then speaks in a calm, almost mocking tone.


    ¡°All of you will go to the stables, and then get to Godric¡¯s Grove.  The lady will give you the briefing on the way.  Consider this you¡¯re test.¡± Captain


    He then walked back to the training yard along with some amused looking Demon Hunters.


    I think I can also see a few whores entering the magic training area through their usual entrance.


    ¡®I am so glad all I have to deal with is a boring temple and asshole Scryers.¡¯

 Chapter 8

    *Oscar POV*


    ¡°Did you have to wiggle your tail so damn much?¡± Oscar


    I am currently face down on the tree branch.  It only took me around an hour to resist Monk on my first cluster, as he calls them, of acupuncture points.  However, I have thirty of such clusters.  Of course, I sped up considerably on every one, the last five were ten minutes each.  It¡¯s currently mid day, though it feels like it should be next week.


    And it hurt like shit on every single one.  Imagine having a big spike shoved into you, but it isn¡¯t making a wound, and you also feel like you''re on fire.  With every cluster, it was this assortment of feelings until I managed to expel it.  At first, I didn¡¯t know exactly what my mana felt like, but slowly learned.


    Mana is kinda like a cool river, nice and refreshing, but at the same time not cold enough to make you sick.  Not that specific, I understand, but you have to understand that I barely fucking understand what the hell it¡¯s supposed to be.


    So yeah.


    I hear the little sadist while he¡¯s trying, and failing, to massage my back with his feet.  I didn¡¯t even ask him to, but he felt like he wasn¡¯t finished with my unbelievably sore body.


    ¡°Of course I did.  Makes you wanna want it gone all that much faster!¡± Monk


    [And he takes a sick joy in giving his owners hell.]


    ¡°I had a feeling after the first few fits of hysterical laughter, but I just couldn¡¯t tell.¡± Oscar


    A sharp pain that I have come to be familiar with, burns its way into my lower back.  He had, once again, stuck his bastard tail into my back, but I was sick and tired of it, and it no longer served any purpose.  I decided to grab the little shit and fling him at the nearest tree.


    I reach back at him, feel something warm and furry, and chuck it, and am surprised by the results.  He goes flying at the tree before clamping onto it like a monke-- scratch that he is a monkey.  The thing that surprised me though, was that I seemed to be stronger.  I know my own body, or knew in this case, and understood that he shouldn¡¯t have went that fast.  Looking at my arm, it also seems to have a bit more meat, and not just fatty meat, nono.  Now my arm looked¡­ well, not skeletal.


    It would appear that whatever Monk was doing, it was having serious effects.


    ¡°Enjoying yourself there kid?  I see that my fun is over for today.  And don¡¯t worry, I won¡¯t go and leave you to your fate, that loses me a one of a kind owner.¡± Monk


    My brow started to twitch ever so slightly.


    ¡°Why do I feel like I¡¯m nothing but a trading card to you?¡± Oscar


    [Wow, Monk, you seem to be slipping!  It only took him 40 hours to figure out what he is in your eyes!]


    ¡®Okay, this is starting to scare me.  This guy is supposed to be very powerful, and also the closest thing I have to a ¡°Otherworld For Dummies¡± book.  I don¡¯t want to piss him off too bad, but at the same time he grates at me to no end.¡¯


    Monk seemed to be slightly pissed at Gung, but I was feeling a little insecure.


    I may not like this guy, but I¡¯m practically useless without him.  I mean, yeah, my survival chances aren¡¯t that high at the moment, but without him, they can only go down.


    Hard.


    Though the next words were a little¡­ well, not what I was expecting.


    ¡°Gung, can you stop that?  You¡¯re gonna give the kid a fucking heart attack!  Kid, I only like getting reactions out of you, I¡¯m not gonna kick you to the curb after having my fun.  As long as you don¡¯t make a toy out of me, I won¡¯t make a toy out of you, understood?¡± Monk


    I looked at him confused, but nodded my head all the same.  This was the first time he had ever acted this, well, serious.  It was reassuring, however the whimsical attitude of Monk returned not long after.


    ¡°Now, let¡¯s go bear hunting!  Yay!¡± Monk


    I knock my head back into the branch.


    ¡°Hahhh~... wonderful, just fucking wonderful.  I assume you have some plan that won¡¯t end in me dying or being horridly disfigured?¡± Oscar


    ¡°Of course I do!  Who do you think I am?¡± Monk


    ¡®Well that¡¯s g--¡¯


    ¡°You''re gonna jump on it!¡± Monk


    ¡®...¡¯


    *3 Hours Later*


    ¡®Ah finally, a beehive.¡¯


    After Monk actually explained the plan, I could help but realize the fact that it would work.  Bears seem to be prevalent in this forest, after all, according to Monk, two had went underneath my tree while I was asleep.  They don¡¯t seem to be all that territorial in a world where they aren¡¯t Alpha predators.


    Interesting.


    Monk told me to look for two specific kinds of flowers to set up the trap we were going to use.  Apparently these are all types of flowers the bears here can¡¯t seem to get enough of.  Something about the smell.  I was surprised when Monk told me about this, I mean, I know for a fact that these didn¡¯t exist back on earth.


    He said that they used to exist on earth, but magic disappearing destroyed all of them.


    Also interesting.


    I gathered them, after several failed attempts and actually getting a few cuts on my hands, fucking rabbit, and then set out to find a beehive.  Well, a normal beehive.


    Turns out this world likes making different kinds of normal creatures that are simply fucking terrifying.  I came across three different kinds bees on my journey to find this one¡­


    I start shivering from the memories.  Note to self: never look at a Purple Wasp Queen.


    Never.


    I motion to Monk while waving the flowers around.


    ¡°Alright Monk, what the fuck am I supposed to do with these?¡± Oscar


    ¡°Just crush them together in your hands and sprinkle it on top of the beehive.  These ones shouldn¡¯t attack you, unlike the others.  I can¡¯t remember why, but just know that they won¡¯t.¡± Monk


    The author''s content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    ¡®Huh, so my walking, talking wikipedia article actually has a limit.  Who knew.¡¯


    I do as he said and then start going up the tree as the plan stated.  After climbing till I¡¯m in the cover of foliage, I start to wait, that is, until a question crosses my mind.


    ¡°Hey, Monk?¡± Oscar


    ¡°Yeah?¡± Monk


    ¡°I¡¯m supposed to use gravity to help me shove Gung into the bears head, right?¡± Oscar


    ¡°Yeah, great plan isn¡¯t it?¡± Monk


    ¡°Well, I have a question¡­¡± Oscar


    ¡°Sure, just ask.¡± Monk


    ¡°Well¡­ How do I not break my legs on contact with the ground.¡± Oscar


    ¡°Hm.  That is a problem.  I¡¯ll let you come up with an answer while we wait.  Consider this your first survival test.¡± Monk


    ¡®Welcome back saidst Monk.


    You weren¡¯t missed.¡¯


    *Vira POV*


    ¡®Please Old Ones, please send me back to the Temple!  I won¡¯t complain about the Scryers anymore!  Just please send me baaackk!¡¯


    Remember when I said that Demon Hunters were training freaks?  Yeah, well, that seems to be the only thing they''re capable of.  Torin, specifically, is a prime example of a Demon Hunter.


    All his talk is¡­ well¡­ I¡¯ll let you see for yourselves.


    ¡°Hey Vira, how do the Acolytes train?  You all do train to be better at interrogating Demons, their kin and sympathizers, after all.  Maybe my squad and I could make use of it in our training schedule.  Knowing their weak points would be wonderful for taking them down quick and easy, so you can see why we would want to train in knowing them.¡± Torin


    He was like a kid in a candy store when I told him what Higher Acolytes perform are tasked to perform and teach, and what Lower Acolytes like myself are taught.  Apparently Torin thinks it will help him and his squad on hit missions if they know all the weak points of a human''s body, so he has been pestering me to let him in on my notes non-stop.


    Since yesterday.


    He even woke me up in the middle of the night last night.


    He scares the shit out of me.


    Thankfully his squadmates are better than him.


    Marginally.


    ¡°Torin, I love you boss, but could you SHUT IT!  We¡¯ve been hearing you talking about making new training schedules for us since yesterday, but pleaaasse stop talking about it already!  And don¡¯t try pretending that you don¡¯t try brainwashing us into helping you!  I was awake last night while you were whispering ¡®Acolyte training¡¯ into my ear!  It creeped me out more than that time you made all of us have communal crapper sessions!¡± Duja


    Duja was one of the members of Torin¡¯s Squad.  He was a warrior type, so that means medium armor and a focus on power and accuracy.  He was a spearmen, though that didn¡¯t stop him from getting a good amount of hand-to-hand training, as he has constantly alluded to while threatening to slug passers by who rub him the wrong way.


    We are currently on our second day of the walk, and I¡¯ve gotten the rundown on my companions.


    First is Torin, the leader and guy that feels the need to cover his body at all times of every day.  I have not seen anything about his body other than slight glints of his skin and the same scraggly beard he seems intent on not shaving.  I only saw his eyes once, but that was more seeing something that reflected the firelight, in reality, I don¡¯t even know what his eyes look like.


    Then there is Duja, he is of foreign blood.  He has very dark skin, like the bark of an oak tree.  He also is very gaunt looking despite the strength he seems to possess.  I¡¯ve already seen it in action once, a fallen tree was blocking our path and with the help of Torin they both cleared it of the road.  His personality is a an excitable one, no questions about that.  His hair is black, his eyes look black, and he is tall, around 5¡¯4¡±, slightly above average for the men of this era.


    Other than him is Lavas, a very handsome mage boy who is the son of a bastard noble, not a bastard himself.  I can only find that just a little strange.  I mean, is he a bastard noble because of his father, or is he a regular noble because of grandfather and not being a bastard himself?  Anyways, he has blonde hair and blue eyes and stands at 5¡¯2¡±, the average.


    Other than him, are the four I refer to as the grunts.  Because that is literally all they do, grunt.  They seem to be enhanced, which means they have Demon Bone Meal inscribed into their flesh, so I suppose their temperament isn¡¯t all that surprising.  Most men go mad from the effects it apparently has on the mind.  They all look similar, have similar attitudes, and stand at the same height of 5¡¯6¡±, way above the average.


    We are halfway to Godric¡¯s Hollow, and will soon come upon the Godric¡¯s Haven, a small hunting village here.  I¡¯ve been seeing a lot of fallen over stone architecture and the occasional building, but haven¡¯t a clue on why it¡¯s here.  This is a backwater portion of the kingdom afterall, locked in a chain of mountains.  No army would come in here for fear of being boxed in, so why would there be the remains of a city?


    Strange.


    ¡°I agree with Guja, Torin.  I am sure that if we would find the techniques of the acolytes useful, the Captains would have offered a Higher Acolyte to help in our training; and if you ask them on it, I am sure that they would answer you themselves.  They do oversee our regimens, after all.¡± Lavas


    Torin grumbles out a fine and we go back to riding in silence, only the occasional neigh of the horses to fill the silence.


    None of us, however, pay any attention to the fact that there is complete silence except for the horses.  No birds chirping, and no bugs buzzing.


    Simply silence.


    For the moment at least.

 Chapter 9

    *Oscar POV*


    ¡®Okay, so I¡¯ll just activate my floating ability right after I pierce it¡¯s head¡­ come on, just a little closer you over sized turd!¡¯


    It¡¯s been an hour inside of this tree, and the birds seemed to not like handing over their territory for the first half of it before they started getting real cozy with me being here.  No clue why though and Monk is less helpful with that kind of thing than I expected.


    A bear came for the bait about three minutes ago and that¡¯s when Gung decided it was high time to come back to the material plane.  It was a little disappointing because I wasn¡¯t paying attention and he just sort of showed up in my hands.  My brands however, they seem to have gotten seriously smudged now that he isn¡¯t present.  Guess it¡¯s cause he is ¡®out of the building¡¯, so to speak.


    I¡¯ve been waiting for the bear to get into place and every time I feel like it¡¯s a good time to jump down, Monk stops me and whispers to wait.


    The bait also works differently than I expected.  It is essentially catnip for bears.  No seriously, the damn thing is rolling around the place like my neighbors cat after getting too much ¡®nip.  It¡¯s freakin weird.


    Monk whispers to me to go, and I finally let go of the tree.  I¡¯m falling down like an angel of death when¡­


    ¡®Where the fuck did the bear go?!¡¯


    A huge, dark blur shot out of nowhere and snatched the brown bear that I was going to skure.  I start floating immediately and try my damndest to stay upright, and thankfully I do.  What I see is a bear that is about twice the size of all the bears I have seen thus far.  It¡¯s fur is blacker than pitch and covered in scar that look like they are made of fresh blood.  When it turns around, I catch a glimpse of the remains of the brown bear before it¡¯s gone again behind the mass of black fur and muscle.


    The Black Bear has a mouth full of blood, guts, and fur.  It didn¡¯t even waste an instant before it started gorging on the it¡¯s prey¡­


    ¡®No¡­


    My prey!¡¯


    I start feeling an unusual amount of rage at the prospect of this damn bear taking what I went through all this bullshit to find and kill, just for it to steal the sweet sweet satisfaction of achievement.  I don¡¯t really know what this feeling that is causing the rage, but I don¡¯t waste time to find out.  The bear is on me in an instant, not wasting time to growl or shoo me away from its kill like a normal predator.  It¡¯s eyes have a deep red haze covering them, something that reminds me of my mother''s when she was on crack.  Time seemed to slow down considerably while I made my plan.


    ¡®His eyes are like a junkies and he isn¡¯t even trying to show superiority like a normal predator would after getting enough meat to feed itself for a few days.  It¡¯s not thinking straight, which means that something, or someone, is screwing with it¡¯s thought patterns.  This could also work out for me.  If it¡¯s not thinking straight¡­ I wonder if that tree would like to be properly introduced?¡¯


    I get a sinister grin as I float up ever so slightly to make the bear miss me on its jump.  With nothing to collide with, the bear hits the tree that was behind me full force without my body to cushion it, resulting in a large thunk sound, and a few cracks forming on the tree.  It doesn¡¯t move all that much, probably dazed, but then again, it¡¯s not like I gave it much chance to recover after all.


    I get on the bears back and, with reckless abandon, shove Gung¡¯s spearhead, unceremoniously, into the bear¡¯s neck repeatedly.  I won¡¯t try to make it seem like I know how the fuck to properly use a spear, but doing a ¡®you shall not pass¡¯ motion over and over again on the bear¡¯s head doesn¡¯t require that much skill on my part.


    Eventually, when I am absolutely sure that the bear is dead, I stop destroying what''s left of it¡¯s head.


    [hahh, you really take after your mother, you know that?  Been centuries since I last saw one of your Caste¡¯s berserks, but that was especially lucid.]


    ¡°Thanks?¡± Oscar


    [Never mind, just steal the damn thing¡¯s mana already and let''s get a move on.]


    ¡°Steal the who now?¡± Oscar


    ¡®Does he seriously not realize that I have no understanding of magic?¡¯


    [Sorry, forgot you can be kinda retarded when it comes to magic, eat it¡¯s heart and you get it¡¯s aggregate Mana Nodes.]


    ¡°You always this grouchy?  And do I get to cook the heart or must I eat it raw.  Please tell me I can cook it.¡± Oscar


    [Just put it in front of your mouth and let instinct take over.]


    ¡®That sounds ominous.¡¯


    ¡°Umm, one quick question, how do I get the heart out?  Kinda missing a carving knife, and I doubt your current form wouldn¡¯t take kindly to being used as one.¡± Oscar


    [Gimme a second.]


    I look down at Gung and see that some of my brands are starting to straighten up while parts of him are cracking and falling apart like he¡¯s aging a thousand years in an instant.  At the end, all that¡¯s left is a pile of dust, some not-as-smudged brands, and a hunting knife!


    ¡°Huh, that''s a neat trick.¡± Oscar


    [Polymorphism is a pretty common gift among relicts.]


    ¡°I¡¯ll keep that in mind then.  So can you become any weapon?¡± Oscar


    [Long as it has a blade and handle, it should be possible.  Though knives and spears are easiest for me.]


    ¡°Also useful info.  Can you guide me through this?  Growing up in the suburbs did not help my survival skills.¡± Oscar


    [Fine.]


    The next few minutes were spent trying to get at it¡¯s heart, and not cut my hand off in the meantime, which, according to Gung, I was intent on doing.  Eventually though, I had the damn thing in my hands.


    ¡®Alright so just put it in front of my mouth, and let instinct take over?  How am I supposed to-- OH JESUS THAT SMELLS GOOOOOD~!!¡¯


    I then proceeded to cram my face with the bloody organ.  It tastes like the best cut of meat in the world, and it¡¯s not even been cooked!  When I finally had control over myself again, I was literally a mess of blood and dirt.  If I don¡¯t catch a disease, I have no idea what the bacteria on this world are doing, but I¡¯m basically asking for it at this point.


    ¡°Hahh~... shit, I really hope I don¡¯t come across anyone right now, I must look like a fucking monster with all this crap on me.¡± Oscar


    ¡°You do, to be perfectly honest, you do.¡± Male Voice


    I tense up immediately and swerve my head around so quickly I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if I got whiplash.  What I see is some very, very small people.  It¡¯s a pair, a man and a woman.


    The man looks to be my father''s age, however he only stands at roughly 5¡¯6¡±, blue eyes, brown hair and rugged features.  The woman is much younger, probably around the age of eighteen, however is even smaller, about 5¡¯2¡±.  She is very pretty, for want of her petite body.  She has blue eyes like her fathers, though silver hair instead of his brown.


    There was a fairly awkward silence and I was slightly embarrassed that I was naked in front of two strangers.  I mean, my man parts are missing, but it¡¯s still embarrassing.  Also how the hell am I supposed to explain that?  After a while I decide to end the silence.


    Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ¡°Hi¡­¡± Oscar


    ¡°Hello.¡± Man


    The silence continues for a few minutes.


    ¡°Nice weather we¡¯re having.¡± Oscar


    ¡°It is.¡± Man


    ¡°Do you want to keep doing this for the next hour or should we get to the part that I¡¯m covered in bear blood?  And also naked.¡± Oscar


    ¡°Yeah, was meaning to ask you that.  Are you a eunuch?¡± Man


    ¡°No, it¡¯s a long story involving my dad being an unfaithful bastard and a witch.¡± Oscar


    ¡°What did the witch give you a magical chastity belt?¡± Man


    [Nice cover, just say that the hearts helped lessen the curse.]


    ¡°Yeah, but eating hearts helped lessen the curse¡¯s effects, now it shows up whenever I need it to.¡± Oscar


    ¡°Oh good for you¡­ so why are you naked?¡± Man


    [Pixies.]


    ¡°Pixies.¡± Oscar


    ¡°Ahh.  That must of sucked.¡± Man


    [Oh thank Odin, Loki wasn¡¯t pulling my leg.]


    ¡®Did he just bank on info from a God of mischief?!¡¯


    ¡°It did.¡± Oscar


    Silence reigned again for a minute.


    ¡°Well, I¡¯d offer you some clothes, but I¡¯m pretty sure there isn¡¯t anything large enough in the entire kingdom, sooo¡­¡± Man


    ¡°Seriously?¡± Oscar


    ¡®Well this is different.  Not like I don¡¯t mind being the largest man in the country, though.¡¯


    ¡°Yeah, pretty sure that pixie screwed with your size.¡± Man


    ¡°And location.¡± Oscar


    ¡°And location.  So, names Tyrone, and this is Delilah, my daughter.¡± Man


    ¡°Oscar Wylt.¡± Oscar


    He looks at me in disbelief.


    ¡°Never heard of that clan.¡± Tyrone


    ¡°Equally long story, and I don¡¯t know all the details myself.¡± Oscar


    ¡°You have a pretty weird life, you know that?¡± Tyrone


    ¡°Ha!  Just wait until you meet my monkey!¡± Oscar


    ¡°Wait you mean this thing?¡± Tyrone


    He takes a step to the side just for me to see that Delilah is cradling a shivering Monk like he were some baby.  Monk then turns around to me and flashes a shit eating grin before wrapping his arms as far around her torso and giving Delilah puppy eyes.  She takes this as a sign that I¡¯m apparently a bad pet owner and hugs him closer to her upper torso while shooting me a disapproving scowl.  I can¡¯t help but sigh at the display.


    It seems that Tyrone also caught the shit eating grin and is now livid.


    ¡°I knew it!  Delilah, get rid of that damn thing!¡± Tyrone


    She looks at him in disbelief.


    ¡°Daddy?!  What are you talking about?!  His owner clearly abuses him!  Why else would he latch onto anything other than him?!¡± Delilah


    I pinch the top of my nose in exasperation.


    ¡°Oh he¡¯s latching onto something alright.¡± Oscar


    She doesn¡¯t understand what I¡¯m saying before her face goes red and she realizes that Monk¡¯s been groping her this whole time.  She then grabs Monk by the neck and throws him at the nearest tree like I did not so long ago.


    Guess he just has that effect on people.


    However, I am standing between Monk and that tree.


    It¡¯s almost like she is throwing Monk at me?


    ¡®Oh shit!¡¯


    Monk¡¯s head collides with my own and we both go tumbling back into the corpse of the bear.  It doesn¡¯t take long for him to recover though and almost instantly he¡¯s on my head, just sitting there, no doubt with a shit eating grin.  I look at Delilah, a little ticked.


    ¡°And you threw him at me because...?¡± Oscar


    ¡°YOU¡¯RE BOTH PERVERTS!!¡± Delilah


    ¡°Now honey just calm down, I¡¯m sure Oscar had nothing to--¡± Tyrone


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry you must be mistaken, it is obvious that I¡¯m a bad pet owner after all.¡± Oscar


    I flash her a smile, sending her over the boiling point.


    ¡°Oscar, my daughter is a little excitable so please don¡¯t take anything she says to heart--¡± Tyrone


    ¡°HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME YOU DEMON!!¡± Delilah


    ¡°DELILAH!!¡± Tyrone


    She goes silent after being shouted at by her father.  Daddy¡¯s little girl I suppose.


    He looks at me a little flustered.


    ¡°Sorry for my daughters insolent behavior, but please don¡¯t take it to heart.  She¡¯s just a little excitable is all.  Always had a warrior-woman''s heart but never a weapon with which to exercise it.¡± Tyrone


    ¡°It¡¯s fine, so anything else?¡± Oscar


    ¡°Oh!  Right!  Well, that bear had a bounty on it from the village so they will want to reward you and we¡¯ll probably be having a feast, so, wanna follow me over to the chiefs home?¡± Tyrone


    I look up at Monk for a confirmation, he is essentially my coach at this point.  He nods and I get up from the pool of blood that''s formed underneath me.


    *Vira POV*


    ¡°Hey, is it just me, or is it eerily quie--GUHACH!¡± Guja


    I turn to look at him and my expression shifts to one of horror as I see the primitive like javelin that had gone through his chest.  The world stops for an instant before a hail of javelins with similar makes go through every single one of my companions, I myself didn¡¯t go unharmed.


    After all, something had to be pinning my leg to the horse, or else I would have fallen off from going limp like I have just now.  I may have been training to become an Acolyte, but I didn¡¯t really have the stomach for it.  If they hadn¡¯t taken us at childhood, I would never have even thought of becoming one.  I also wouldn¡¯t have been here.


    Nothing was really registering.


    Time was turning in a strange fashion, one second I¡¯m on my horse, next I¡¯m on the ground, then I¡¯m looking at the strange man wearing cloth that covered his entire body.  He was tall, very tall, easily 6¡¯.  He leaned in closer to me, placing a finger under my chin.  I couldn¡¯t see his face, but I could see his eyes.  They were green, though a red glint was taking it¡¯s place in the whites of his eyes.  They were filled with rage.  He then looks up and turns into a blur as a few javelins race past over my body.


    At least I¡¯ve been avenged.


    I think?