《P.I.R.A.T.E.S. (Profiteering by Instigating Random Accidents To Embezzle Shipment)》 Prologue - the turkey Prologue "She''s in sight captain and she''s looking as plump as a thanksgiving turkey waiting to be plucked, shall I give the order to pluck?" I looked at the screen showing the fat ship that indeed had an uncanny resemblance to a fat turkey but something didn''t feel quite right so I turned to my first mate and told her, "Not yet Sandy, something smells fishy and it ain''t Tank''s dinner. Don''t drop camouflage or engage that ship, just keep out of range of their sensors and follow them." A Tadrunian merchant vessel this far out of monitored space, nowhere near any trade routes without a single escort ship? This was definitely a trap set by the idiots at the department of intergalactic commerce or as we liked to call them , dicks. The Tadrunians were penny pinching misers, there was no way that they would have a heavily loaded ship in deep space where the only planets are backwater hell holes where everybody is fucking their cousin. As our much smaller ship trailed the much larger vessel silently, I waited for the inevitable to happen and sure enough a few minutes later the klaxons in the bridge went off as three ships uncloaked a few Megameters to our port side. The giant screen zoomed in on three blocky spaceships that looked like they were held together with duct tape and prayers. It looked like three of Macormic''s boys took the bait, they never were too bright, in fact they were the type of bumble-fucks that gave honest pirates like ourselves a bad name. Just like I expected immediately after Macormic''s boys uncloaked, fifteen other vessels also appeared but unlike the rust buckets the Macormics owned these were state of the art sleek and silver crafts with the decal of the dicks proudly displayed upon their hulls. They quickly surrounded the three ships and fired all their state of the arts weapons at them reducing them into nothing but glowing radioactive dust which then dispersed into the infinite reaches of space, pirates were considered ''enemies to civilization'' so there was a shoot to kill order on all of us. What this means is that there was no such thing as surrender for a pirate as the poor bastards just found out. Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. Sandy gave a low whistle as she watched what was left of the Macormics disperse into space,"You called it captain, it was a dick trap after all. Should we get out of here?" Dicks had to use real bait to catch pirates, with recent advances in technology a pirate can sense a decoy ship from the other side of the galaxy. What this meant is that the Tandurian ship in front of us really was filled with all kinds of goodies. A crazy idea started to form in my mind, "No, I think we should wait for a little while." Sandy looked at me with a worried expression, "Why would we stay? And why are you smiling? You know that the crew gets nervous when you start smiling." I pretended that I didn''t hear her last comment and turned my swivel chair to a man sitting in a chair to my right. His rail thin body was almost completely surrounded by holograms that he was manipulating expertly. The most notable feature about him was his shaved head and the dragon tattoo that was coiling around it like a hat. His other notable feature was his cornflower blue eyes which were always twitching, hence his nickname , twitch. "Hey twitch , say I give you a time window of around three seconds, can you shoot the FTL drive on the Tandurian vessel from here?" Sandy''s jaws dropped, "Captain you aren''t going to do what I think you are about to do , are you?" My smile only widened, "Smaller crafts have FTL drives that can activate quickly but larger ships have a small delay before their FTL drives can engage. If the dicks try to leave this area simultaneously with the Tandurian vessel I bet that they aren''t going to factor in those few seconds meaning..." Sandy was also starting to smile, "...meaning that if twitch can destroy the FTL drive of the Tandurian vessel before it can make the jump we will have a completely unprotected ship floating dead in the water." "Bingo, then we will move in and pluck this juicy turkey." chapter one - the plucking Chapter one "Alfred, can you please switch the view on the main screen from first person to a third person view of the battlefield seen from above." Instead of the posh British accent I expected from our ship''s AI, a voice with a rough Scottish accent blared out from the speakers, "Of course I can, I am a fucking artificial intelligence am I not? Did you not notice the intelligence part of that?" I sighed in exasperation, "Who messed with Alfred''s personality matrix?" Suddenly everybody in the bridge of the ship became super interested in their work and started to stare closely at their screens. God sometimes I didn''t know if I was a captain of a pirate ship or a kindergarten teacher, half the time I felt like I was trying to herd cats. I decided that I was going to let this one go, thankfully I had a backup of Alfred''s personality matrix and I can get him back to normal after we were done with the Tandurians. Scottish Alfred eventually switched the main screen to a real time reconstruction of the battlefield as seen from above so we all clearly saw as the fifteen small ships that belonged to the dicks were enveloped in bubbles of multicolored lights as they engaged their FTL drives then vanished leaving behind the massive Tandurian vessel behind. The bubbles of lights that enveloped them before they disappeared were called temporal bubbles, they are one of the main components that made faster than light travel possible but it is also the main reason that bigger ships need slightly longer time to use their FTL drives, because it takes longer to cover a big ship in the bubble of disruptive photonic radiation than a little ship , which meant that as the ship was slowly being covered in the colorful bubble it gave Twitch plenty of time to fire our ship''s main plasma cannon and fry their FTL drive. On the screen I could see the Tandurian vessel get struck by a blue beam of light and the bubble that was gradually creeping over the ship flickered then disappeared, Twitch had shot down their FTL drives which was actually a pretty small device that was crammed between two of the Tandurian ship''s massive boosters with only a single shot which was impossible if you asked anybody else but Twitch was a genius when it came to handling the weapons on a ship, a savant if you will. Before he joined my crew he was the best shooter in the entire federation star fleet and on the fast track to fame and riches but he was one of those people with addictive personalities, at first it started with booze but slowly he started doing hard drugs until he was dishonorably discharged. I found him inside of a gutter outside a drug den in the port of Tortuga after I heard his story from a friend I had in the fleet. This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. I personally paid for his rehabilitation and it was one of the best investments I''ve ever made, although he fell off the wagon now and then he was the best damn gunner I''ve ever seen when he manages to stay sober as was evident now as he executed an impossible shot using fully manual controls at a distance that most would balk at. "Good job Twitch, you are nothing short of an artist with that plasma cannon. Sandy can you please jam any signals coming from that ship?" "Already done Captain." I turned my chair to look at a large black man who was sitting in a chair at the back playing video games, "Hey Tank, it''s time to suit up, these are just Tandurians and the scanners aren''t reading any other life signatures so it''s probably going to be a simple case of putting the fear of the devil in those bastards but be careful, you never know what those greedy bastards have up their sleeves." The Tandurians are a space faring nomadic race that left their home planet behind a long time ago in search of wealth. Their whole culture revolves around money, they spend their whole lives trying to get more of it, their society is ruled by it, hell their females actually charge the males for sex and it''s not considered prostitution. They didn''t even have a religion unless you count their unending obsession with money. Physically they are short pink bipedal creatures with long necks that looked eerily similar to a pink furry version of ET from old earth movies and they had what we pirates like to call a yellow belly. This was truly ironic since the little bastards had a yellow patch of fur on their stomachs , which made them yellow bellied in the literal and metaphorical sense. That meant that once their ship was disabled and Tank boarded it wearing his massive mech that was brimming with guns , the money grubbing assholes suddenly transformed into the most generous beings in the universe in an effort to save their fluffy pink behinds. We used our ship''s tractor beams to load up container after container of everything that they had in their storage hold. We finished robbing them blind and were on our way to Tortuga in less than thirty minutes. chapter two - the head dick Chapter two "What did you just say?" As the head of the department of intergalactic commerce I rarely had a reason to shout at people, I usually make my points by signing documents or giving facial cues that made it clear to my subordinates I wasn''t very pleased. People usually crap their pants when I simply raise one of my eyebrows so it was rarely necessary for me to resort to such an uncivilized act like shouting but today I was truly angry and no facial expression was enough to express my displeasure. The man that I was staring at had sweat running down his forehead, he was fidgeting around as if he could run away at any time, "The pirates came after we were gone and robbed the merchants that we were using as our bait for the sting operation." I put my elbows on my desk and placed my chin upon my intertwined fingers. I looked over the top of my glasses at the man who was now staring at the floor like it could somehow help him escape, "So let me get this straight, you were using a real merchant ship as bait to catch pirates then you made the decision to leave said ship behind and you were surprised when pirates came and robbed it? That is what you are telling me, is it not? I apologize for the repetition but I want to make sure you know exactly how stupid it sounds." "I''m sorry sir." "Are you really? Because I don''t think you are nearly sorry enough. Remove this man from my sight and make sure that he is made an example of. We at the D.I.C. do not tolerate incompetence like this, former Lieutenant Carl . Men , make sure that Mister Carl here doesn''t have any ''accidents'' on his way out of the building." The two large men standing behind Carl grabbed his arms and frog marched him out of my office while he wailed and screamed for help. After the screaming died down I focused on the file in front of me, it was a compilation of all the known and suspected facts on the pirate crew that managed to rip me off yet again, the crew of the famous pirate ship, the Vishnu. I tapped on the glowing screen of the holo-file and it expanded nearly filling out my entire office with images of the strangely shaped ship in the process of committing some crime or escaping from the authorities. The ship had six ''arms'' sticking out from its needle like body which earned it the name Vishnu. At the back, the needle like body is attached to a sphere which was a reactor taken from a freighter ship. The massive reactor was almost as large as the rest of the ship. It was a very clever piece of engineering that the scientists in our own organization had been unable to replicate. Which brings me to the crew of the Vishnu, I touched one of the flashing icons and the pictures of the rampaging Vishnu was replaced by the images of a scrawny old man with fluffy white hair , this was the man responsible for designing the Vishnu, Professor Albert Tillman. This nut job was performing illegal genetic experiments with human subjects in a government funded facility. When someone eventually noticed and he was caught he claimed that since all his subjects were rapists and murders it made it all okay, to his sick and twisted mind what he was doing was perfectly justified. He was on his way to a maximum security asylum for the criminally insane on a distant asteroid when he was rescued by the current Captain of the Vishnu,the legendary ''two face'' Callaghan but I will leave him for last. A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. I pressed another icon and this time the images were those of a beautiful woman with very light brown eyes and sandy blond hair which was probably the reason why she went by the alias ''Sandy''. Very little was known about her before she joined the crew of the Vishnu. She was an excellent pilot as was evident in the images of her literally flying in circles around the ''state of the art'' vehicles of both the fleet and the DIC. She didn''t have any records before she joined Callaghan which is impossible in today''s world. The leading hypothesis is that she had procedures done to alter everything from her face to her figure to her finger prints. I pressed another button and images of an old bulky looking Mech pancaking newer looking Mechs filled my office. Derek ''the tank'' Baldwin was a famous fighter in the intergalactic Mech championships until his manager stiffed him and run off with all his money. He was in deep shit with some loan sharks when Callaghan swooped in and offered him some help , in exchange he made Tank ''the muscles'' of his operation. The next icon showed the profile of a promising young cadet in the star fleet who spiraled into addiction and got fired. Brad ''twitch'' Gonzalez was then picked up by Callaghan and now he shoots down the ships that he used to work in. And last but certainly not least, I pressed the largest icon and pictures of a variety of people popped up. Bruce ''two face'' Callaghan was a suspected ex-member of some intelligence agency but nobody was willing to take the blame for unleashing this bastard on the universe. He was like a freaking chameleon , nobody knew what he really looked like but he was one slippery motherfucker. The current captain of the Vishnu had an illustrious career of impersonating several highly placed officials, including myself , to steal billions of credits from the government which was probably what he used to pay for the Vishnu. When I saw my own picture laughing at me , a surveillance picture from when he impersonated me, I got so angry that I accidentally broke the holo-file I was holding making all the images flicker and disappear. I hated that annoying bastard more than anybody in the universe, not only did he steal using my face but he also fucked my beautiful wife. Oh ,how I would love to get my hands on him. chapter three - the love interest Chapter three "To the Tandurians, they may be money grubbing assholes but they sure stock the finest whisky in the galaxy!" After my customary toast was done I raised my glass of whisky and drained it in one go and the rest of my crew followed suit with their own drinks. I was currently in the ship''s mess hall with my crew and we were celebrating the successful completion of our most daring raid yet. The Tandurian job had gone off without a hitch and the haul had been particularly good this time. I was very pleased with the luxury goods that we had managed to appropriate and when Blade discovered a case containing vintage premium whisky I decided that we should have a little party to celebrate. I sat at the large chair at the head of the table and looked around at my crew who were very happy and already a little tipsy. Thankfully Alfred , our ships AI, can handle a routine jump to Tortuga without any input from us so the crew was free get as drunk as they wanted. As I observed my friends crack inappropriate jokes , most of them at my expense, and dissolve into raucous laughter ,my eyes inevitably drifted towards my beautiful and mysterious first mate. Her features were not extraordinary , by most standards she would be considered at most average. Her eyes were an unremarkable light brown, her nose was a little long and slightly crooked as if she had broken it at least once and it hadn''t set right, her mouth was too wide to be considered attractive and when she laughed you could count each and every one of her small teeth that would be considered too small by most people. Her skin was pale and pasty because she didn''t bother to use the automatic tanner in the ship and her ears were long and pointed. It was obvious that her light brown almost blond hair rarely saw a comb let alone any other styling equipment and I''m pretty sure that it had been in that same ponytail for the last three days. All this combined to make her unattractive to most guys, but not to me. To me her eyes were a beautiful shade of brown that turned into a brilliant amber of the finest light honey when the light of her screen hit them. Her nose being crooked only added character to her beautiful face and I found her wide mouth to be sexy and appealing. In my eyes her teeth were cute and her skin was like smooth cream that you would want to dip Strawberrys in. Her pointy ears made her look like an elf and her unkempt hair gave her that rumpled ''just out of bed'' look that makes a girl look so hot in the morning. Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings. I quickly looked away from her before she noticed that I was staring at her, I have had this infatuation with her from the first time I had laid eyes on her. In fact the only reason I hired her was to get into her pants, at least it was at first, but now she was not only an irreplaceable member of my crew but had also earned the position of first mate. I didn''t know a damn thing about her past but she was a damn fine pilot and that was good enough for me. I had tried to ask her out on several occasions but have yet to be successful, I am very gifted with the ladies but when it came to Sandy I turn into a bumbling fool. I sighed in resignation as I stole another glance at Sandy, I guess we were just never meant to be. As I was sipping my drink and wallowing in self pity Scottish Alfred''s voice blared out from the speakers, "Captain we are approaching Tortuga in ten minutes but that''s not why I''m calling you. You have three people trying to establish communication with you on the horn. One is Bozzo, the other is Finkelstein and the last one is the Duchess. Who do you want to speak with or should I hang up on all of them?" Well this was interesting, the heads of the three biggest factions in Tortuga wanted to speak with me before I even made it out of zero space? Something big must be going on, good or bad only time will tell. "Use split screen to display all three on the mess hall screen, I doubt they are all calling me for different reasons so might as well save time and talk to all of them at the same time." "Aye aye, Captain." chapter four - the compendium Chapter four The large screen in the mess hall lit up then split into three equal parts to display three very different figures, On the right was a regal looking woman wearing an ancient Victorian style crimson dress that was the color of fresh blood with a large stiff white collar framing or more accurately displaying her bountiful chest. The way she was displaying her chest and the fact that she had clearly taken steps to make herself look as attractive as possible made it obvious to me that the duchess wanted something, she flirted with me only when a particularly big job came along. The duchess was a broker that acted as a middle man when one of the big powers wanted to hire some ''privateers'' and was also the only beautiful woman that makes me feel more unhappy the more undressed she gets. On the left was a short blue creature about a meter tall with four wings and a small snout where his nose should be. He also had four small tusks sticking out from his mouth. Bozo was one of the Pakedrius , a peace loving race that was nearly wiped out when the federation got tired of their peaceful protests. Bozo unlike the rest of his race had a more Tandurian approach to life, by that I mean that he was a shameless cheat and a swindler. Unsurprisingly he was the head of the criminal element in Tortuga. Lastly there was the center partition which was left completely dark, Finkelstein didn''t like to show his face but he was the undisputed ruler of Tortuga. A fly couldn''t burp on Tortuga without him knowing it. People pay taxes to Finkelstein and he kept everything running smoothly, he settled disputes, he took care of port maintenance and repairs, he even instituted a welfare system for retired pirates. He was also one scary motherfucker, not only did he single handedly keep the federation, the corporation and other powers at bay but anybody who disobeys him disappears without a trace, nobody even knew how he does it. Despite all of his power he rarely speaks with people, the only time he ever makes contact was when something really big was happening. I put on my best fake smile and said,"Hello Duchess, you are looking particularly radiant today." The duchess replied with her best simpering hard-on inducing voice, "Charlie darling, don''t be mad. I didn''t know that the Tandurian thing was a setup, I swear." You could probably scrape the sarcasm off my voice with a spoon as I replied with a sardonic, "Sure you didn''t." "You have to believe me Charlie, plus you didn''t get caught so you aren''t too cross with me are you?" Finkelstein''s synthetic computer voice suddenly burst into creepy synthetic laughter before saying, "Oh he did more than escape duchess, he cleaned out the Tandurians." Bozo finally spoke in his nasal voice that sounded suspiciously like a pig''s squeal, "That''s my boy, only you can take the bait from right under the dick''s noses. You remind me of myself in the good old days, brash and successful. You should come work with me, we can make serious money together, what do you say?" Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more. The duchess interrupted Bozo''s sales pitch, "Oh cram it Bozo, you just want the reward for yourself. Well that is not going to happen you disgusting filthy parasite." "Right, because you are not after the same thing you shameless whore? Why don''t you just take out your breasts and get it over with, maybe offer him a blow job?" Well that was interesting, what was this reward they were talking about? Finkelstein''s creepy synthetic voice spoke again, "If you two are done bickering like little children maybe you can actually ask Callaghan instead of swapping insults like four year olds?" Now I was really curious, "Ask me what?" Suddenly both the Duchess and Bozo fell silent. Finkelstein sighed and continued,"Fine, I''ll tell him. As you probably know the new shipment of shards has arrived." Shards were currency that most people in the universe use. It is a very strange crystalline structure that is almost entirely made out of energy. Shards are used in everything from the cold fusion reactors that power our ships to our personal communicators, a shard the size of my pinkie could power my communicator for a year. They were a clean efficient source of steady energy but there was one catch, only the compendium could produce it. The compendium was a group of A.I.s(artificial intelligences) that were created to answer the greatest questions in science, philosophy and religion. The structure to house it was so large that they needed an entire planet to build it. When they were finished the A.I.s tried to answer the questions but were unable to do so, so they started to upgrade and modify themselves to accomplish their task. In the end the compendium gained enough autonomy that it decided it didn''t like people inside its systems so it kicked out all the people in it''s system, then it decided that it didn''t like people in it''s solar system so it also kicked everyone out from its solar system. Now the only contact we have with the compendium is when they deliver the shards. Nobody knows why they even bothered to do this for us but any attempts to enter the compendium''s solar system which was renamed the Enigma system was met with rapid and brutal retaliation. The A.I.s had developed technology so advanced that even the federation Armada was unable to penetrate their defenses, now everybody lived in fear wondering if this frightful power would ever be turned on us. I didn''t know what the shard delivery had to do with me but I was starting to get nervous and just like I feared Finkelstein''s answer nearly made me crap in my pants. "There was a message from the compendium, it is asking for you." chapter five - family Chapter five "It is asking for you." Suddenly all of my crew were chocking on their food and spitting out their drinks in shock. I myself neatly inhaled the whisky I had brought to my mouth to take a sip. I used a napkin to wipe my face and looked towards the screen and calmly said, "Excuse me, I''m sorry for that but for a second I thought that you said that the compendium wanted me." The synthesized voice continued on , unbothered by our little display, "That is what I said Callaghan, the compendium is asking for you." "Is this your idea of a joke?" "I never joke Mr Callaghan. The compendium requested that you and your crew make your way to the enigma system to these coordinates." I studied the coordinates and nearly fainted, "So you are telling me that the compendium is not only asking for me but it actually wants me at its home? You are telling me that the compendium just invited me over for tea? Are you all crazy ? What makes you think I would ever do something so nuts? Granted I have been known to take a little risk now and then but I am not completely insane." "The compendium has given its word that you shall have safe passage." "Do you really think that I would risk my crew''s and my own life on the word of a giant machine? I''m sorry Finkelstein but you are wasting your time, I am not doing this." "But you haven''t even heard the reward." "I don''t give a damn about the reward." "It is an unlimited supply of shards for you. A literally inexhaustible supply of money, tell me that that doesn''t interest you." "It doesn''t interest me. This is in the category of things that are too good to be true and I haven''t survived this long by throwing myself at everything that looked shiny and alluring." "The compendium has also promised to tell you who you are if you follow its instructions." From all of the things that he could have said this might have been the only thing that could have changed my mind. One of the biggest questions in my life involved my identity. Ten years ago I had woken up in a seedy inn in Tortuga, completely naked and unable to remember anything except basic knowledge and common sense. Ten years later I still am not sure where I came from and it is a question that haunts me to this day. I turned to my crew and they were all looking at me with sympathetic expressions. They all knew of my amnesia and how much this would mean to me and I could see it in their eyes that they would come with me on this insane trip if I asked them to. But could I ask them to do something so dangerous for something so selfish? A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation. Sandy seemed to read my mind and smiled, "Captain , we can''t let an opportunity like this pass us by. Unlimited number of shards? I don''t know about you but having a private planet and an Armada of ships sounds good to me." The professor got up and started to gesticulate wildly while saying, "The learning opportunities are going to be massive! No human has been in that area for a long time and if I can get my hands on some of their technology I could reverse engineer some of their secrets from it. We have to go!" Tank''s deep booming voice talked next, "I have been getting rusty without proper opponents, a round or two with those droids is just what the doctor ordered. I say we go captain." Twitch slammed his glass on the table and said, "I heard that the compendium ships are the best shooters in the universe , we should go just to teach them a thing or two about what real shooting is." Blade just stuck his knife into the table then nodded. Blade had been with us for over a year but had never said a single word. He was a very rare weapons expert, he joined us in Tortuga after he demonstrated his skills on a group of ruffians who were trying to capture us for the bounty on our heads. The short man who was completely covered up in layers of black clothing had suddenly appeared and used a small dagger to completely annihilate a group of fifteen cyborgs who were following us, he has been with us ever since. He is an expert in every gun I have ever put in his hand but he preferred close up work and he was damn good with that blade of his. I was very surprised that he agreed to come along because he never seemed to be part of our group and had always been careful to keep a certain distance between us. I guess he was more attached to us than I thought. I felt tears well up in my eyes as each of my crew members voted to go. I knew for a fact that besides maybe the professor nobody really wanted to go on this crazy mission but they were willing to put their fears aside to help me find something very important to me, my identity. I had always felt close to my crew but now I knew that they were no longer my crew, they were my family. Im sorry... Some things have come up in real life that will slow down my release speed considerably. I know that my release speed is already slow because I have been working on five books simultaneously while editing the heretic but now the releases are going to be sporadic, if they happen at all. I will try to work as hard as possible so that the stories don''t stagnate but some serious shit is going on in my life so I''m not sure how successful I''ll be. Things should go back to normal in about two weeks to a month but until then please be patient. Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. Sorry for being such a flaker. Chapter six - the decision Chapter six "Have you decided to go Callaghan?" "Alright Finkelstein, we''ll play ball ,but I have a question. I understand why you were in such a hurry to contact me, you actually give a damn about things on Tortuga and this is a big deal, but why were the greediest creature in the universe and the woman with nothing but notches on her bed post so eager to contact me?" The duchess stopped trying to arrange her breasts in her too tight dress and looked up indignantly, "I resent that Callaghan. I don''t remember you complaining the last time you were in my bed." All of my crew turned towards me with expressions of shock and horror on their faces, but it was Sandy who put their feelings into words, "Really Captain? That woman has seen more dick than the urinals at the Hooters bar in Tortuga. God, I''m afraid to even sit next to you because I''m afraid I might get some STD." Yeah, that probably didn''t do much for my chances with Sandy, "Stop overreacting. Yeah it was gross and disgusting but this was years ago, back when I was young and stupid and most importantly really really horny. Back to the business at hand, why are you two calling when you wouldn''t lift a finger to help me unless it benefited you in some way?" This time it was Bozo who complained, "Cal! Buddy! Haven''t I taken care of you? Haven''t I always given you great jobs unlike that poisonous bitch? I only called to tell you about this opportunity because you are my long time friend and I hold you dear in my heart." I sighed at his overly dramatic proclamation, "Save it Bozo, you don''t give a damn about anybody and I know full well that you have been skimming off the top of my payments when you gave me those jobs. On top of that your race doesn''t even have a heart. Now stop bullshitting and tell me what is in it for you if I go to the compendium." The duchess was still looking offended and reticent but Bozo has always been known to fold quickly and he didn''t disappoint, "The rewards go beyond money and information on your past. The A.I.s have also promised to give you the schematics to one piece of their own technology. The message from the compendium has spread to the furthest reaches of the galaxy by now. If you go, everybody from two bit criminals to the goddamn federation will be coming after you. I am willing to risk all of my ships to protect you and in exchange all I ask is that you get the schematics to their engines. With those engines we will be able to pull off any heist or robbery we want and we would never get caught." The duchess sneered at Bozo and said, "Yeah right, I''m sure that you wouldn''t stab him in the back the moment he turns his back on you. Now you listen to me Callaghan, you''d be an idiot to let Bozo''s goons come with you. You know that they would steal the schematics the first chance they get. But I''m different, you know that I take care of my partners. Let a few of my girls tag along on your trip. Not only would they keep you safe but they will also keep you satisfied. And forget the engines, get the schematics for their cloaking device. With the technology to attack while still cloaked, we can strike like phantoms and disappear like ghosts. It is the smart thing to do." Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original. Twitch was almost drooling as he stared at her cleavage, "Captain, I''d rather have the duchess''s girls come along than Bozo''s goons. They are not only prettier but are probably more fun." Sandy smacked his bald head so hard that I could have sworn I heard his teeth rattling, "Shut up Twitch. The Captain is doing business and it isn''t your place to interrupt, especially if you are going to say something stupid." I smiled at Sandy before turning back to the screen, "Now that I have heard from the two sharks, Finkelstein what is your opinion?" "I think they are both short sighted. They can only think of short term gain. I take the longer view , the engines and the cloakers are both super advanced but they aren''t something we won''t get to eventually. I want you to get the schematics for their teleportation machine. The way things are going, I doubt that any of our scientists will figure that out anytime soon." "And you don''t want to send any of your ships as ''protection'' for me?" "No. In fact a refueling ship is waiting for you in orbit. You can take all the fuel and life support you need without docking in Tortuga. When you get me the technology I want, I give you my word that I will not betray you or shortchange you in any way. I shall make you an equal member in my enterprise." It might have sounded silly but I believed him. Finkelstein never lied once he gave his word. From the three offers given to me , his was the best and most reliable. Plus I agreed with him, the engines and the cloakers were pretty amazing but they didn''t hold a candle to the teleportation device. "Alright Finkelstein, I''ll get you the tech. But just out of curiosity , how do you know that I wouldn''t keep it to myself or sell it to the highest bidder?" I could hear the smile in his voice even though his voice was nothing but a garbled mess produced by the voice modifying software he used, "Because you know the consequences for betraying me and you are not stupid enough to try it." Chapter Seven- Friying Pan or Fire? Chapter seven We exited zero space right in front of Tortuga and we were treated to the sight of the sprawling monstrosity that was the largest ''free'' port in the galaxy. Nobody was sure how old Tortuga was, nobody was really sure when the damn thing was constructed or who was responsible for making it, hell nobody even knew if Tortuga was just a free floating amalgamation of several space stations or if there was an actual planet beneath the chaotic mess of blinking lights, mismatched thrusters, and metallic structures. The whole thing was massive and getting larger everyday since anybody who wanted to settle down would just add a new extension to the already massive structure. There were so many damn layers to the damn thing that no sensor could see what was really beneath the surface. Many expeditions had been launched to see what was at the center of Tortuga, none of them ever returned but instead of leaving what could be a potentially very hazardous location, the powers that be in Tortuga sealed all the entrances to what was generally known as ''the underworld'' and continued on with their lives as if nothing happened. "God, this thing gets uglier every time you see it, doesn''t it? It is like the asshole of the entire galaxy where all the shit congregates." "I feel dirty just looking at that place." "We don''t really have to land, do we captain?" "I wonder if the hooters bar has got a new waitress? We have been out in space for a while and I''m feeling the need for some companionship." Apart from the last comment from Twitch, which was promptly rewarded with a slap to the head by Sandy, everybody else in the ship started to grumble when they saw Tortuga, even the ships A.I. was badmouthing it with its new Scottish accent and excessively vulgar vocabulary. Luckily for everybody, except for Twitch, a refuel and resupply ship was waiting for us in orbit just like Finkelstein promised so we didn''t even have to dock at one of the many available space stations to restock. We quickly took everything we needed and went back into zero space before anybody even noticed that we were there. I knew that we were in a rather precarious situation. The compendium wanted us to come to it, whether we went there willingly or being forced by someone else , it never specified. What that meant is that we were now a target for anybody who wanted that reward from the compendium. In other words we were the targets for everybody in the galaxy including every nation, corporation, criminal organization and random Joe with a ship. We needed to stay low and we needed to get to the compendium as quickly as possible. "Sandy, what is our course?" Sandy sighed and looked at me with a tired expression on her face,"You tell me captain, the compendium is in the heart of sector thirteen. You know that the whole thing is a no-jump zone. The compendium has the whole surrounding space locked down with some unknown tech, anything trying to come out of zero space anywhere near that region is instantly atomized and scattered without a trace. We are obviously going to have to get there in normal space but the problem is that sector thirteen is surrounded by the federation on one side and the corporation on the other." As she spoke a star chart appeared on the main screen highlighting what she was saying. There was a small red circle that showed the home system of the compendium, surrounding it was a much larger circle highlighted in blue showing the no-jump zone that acted as a buffer zone between the case green region on the right that showed the territory of the Federation and the slightly smaller region on the left in bright yellow showing the territory of the so called Corporation of Prosperity or as it is more commonly known, the Corporation. Sandy continued to manipulate the hologram in front of her and the blue region was suddenly filled with small red dots. This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere. "Those are the regions filled with anti-spacecraft mines leftover from the last time the federation and the corporation had a small tiff. Anything that is not S class will not survive a second in there and anything that is S class will be able to survive a little above a second. So captain, which way should I steer this boat?" I looked at the screen and I had to admit that it looked pretty depressing. Whichever way we went, it seemed like we were going to be destroyed or hunted down before we could even say the word compendium let alone make it there. We needed a plan of action so I zoomed in on the star chart and started to study the location of everything in the area. I quickly memorized everything and then I began to digest the large amount of information I had just consumed. Slowly a slight glimmer of an idea started to form in my head. I pressed a button and a picture of a room appeared before me. It was by far the largest room in the ship, even larger than the hangar bay and the engine room. Inside was a complete mess of electronic parts, strange metallic objects, and body parts some of them obviously human. "Hey professor, how are the new shields you''ve been working on? Are they operational yet?" After some shuffling and grunting, the slightly breathless and wheezy voice of the professor answered me through the intercom system, "mmmm....the new shields?...shields, shields,shields...ah, here they are. Hmmmm...well they are complete but they are faulty. They are powerful and better than anything out there but I can''t get the energy oscillations to go down so they overload if energy beams of high intensity or a small object traveling at a sufficient velocity hits it." Sandy opened and closed her mouth several times finally closing her mouth without saying a word. Twitch on the other hand couldn''t stay silent, "So they are shields that can''t protect against plasma cannons or phaser weapons? What the hell is its use then?" "Ehm...I thought maybe we could use it to ram other ships?" This time Sandy couldn''t help it and joined in,"You wanted to play bumper carts using the ship? Are you crazy?" The owner of the voice finally appeared on the screen, blinking owlishly with his eyes that had been magnified by his glasses that were thicker than the bottom of a whisky bottle, "That was the opinion of some of my psychiatrists, why do you ask?" I cleared my throat to get ever body''s attention before the conversation could stray to the question of whether the professor was sane or nor. "Professor, you said that those shields were powerful? How powerful exactly?" The professor adjusted his glasses and started to mutter before he answered, "About a hundred and twenty five times stronger than anything in operation right now. As long as the oscillations remain stable, the ship can crash into a large asteroid and survive without a scratch." "Hmm...how long would the shields last under constant pressure?" "At full capacity? Two hours max." Sandy turned to me and raised her eyebrow skeptically, "You know that we can''t use those shields to cross the minefield, right? The mines use both phaser blasts and shrapnel to shred ships, the professors shield can''t handle either." I smiled at my crew and simply said four words, "I have a plan." The bridge of the ship was suddenly very silent. Tank, who was playing a game on one of the workstations looked up from his game with fear in his eyes before uttering in a small voice which strangely carried across the entire room, "Oh God! Not again! Not twice in one week!" Chapter Eight - the asteroid Chapter eight "Captain, what are we doing here?" Our ship was parked right in front of one of the biggest cluster of Federation and Corporation ships in the galaxy. We could see rows after rows of ships lined up perfectly, always staying in rigid formation. These ships were the pride of the entire federation and it''s main source of military might, the galactic starfleet. In a stark contrast to the discipline showed by the ships of the federation''s star fleet, those that belonged to the the Corporation were all over the place, just flying around without rhyme or reason but they were equally intimidating as the starfleet ships if not more so because what they lacked in numbers and discipline, they made up for in sheer raw power. The Corporations main source of power is money and that was why their ships were not only ridiculously expensive but also ridiculously overpowered. The Federation had brought hundreds of their starships but the corporation only brought five but five was enough. They were giant behemoths that were as large as moons armed with the latest weapons and outfitted with the latest tec. The federation ships flew around showing their abilities as a group but the corporation ships didn''t need to do Jack, they just floated through space and their mere presence was enough to terrify anybody into submission. And the reason why the two powers were here? Two words, Telerium alloy. Telerium was the heaviest stable metal in the known universe and an essential part of all ships. One of the reasons that there are a very limited number of ships is exactly because of the scarcity of this metal but during the last war between the federation and the corporation, they had stumbled upon a solitary asteroid that was almost completely made of Telerium. Both powers knew that the other one wouldn''t give up such a precious resource and the only outcome would have been mutual destruction so they immediately tabled their differences and decided to sign a peace treaty in order to share the Telerium fairly and from that treaty the Department of Intergalactic Commerce was born not only to oversee the actual mining of the Telerium but to mediate any conflict between the two powers. Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel. I ignored Twitch''s question because I was too busy concentrating on my screen. "Alfred, zoom in on the Asteroid." The screen zoomed in on the asteroid and I could see that there were no Federation or Corporation ships close to it, only a swarm of D.I.C ships and one old fashioned mining rig. The two powers didn''t trust each other so neither one was allowed near the asteroid. The only ships allowed were D.I.C and even they were under constant supervision. The only mining rig allowed on the asteroid was an old modeled rust bucket that couldn''t hide any tricks. "Alfred, can you scan the asteroid especially that mining shaft. I want to know how wide and how deep it is." This time it was Sandy who spoke up, "Captain, shouldn''t we be heading to the Compendium instead of loitering here?" I looked at the numbers and figures displayed by Alfred and smiled, "Patience Sandy. Right now all I want you to do is to fly us next to that asteroid." "But that would put us in the range of their sensors." "I know." "Correct me if I''m wrong but aren''t we wanted criminals? What will stop them from turning us into swiss cheese the moment they see us?" "Don''t worry about that, leave it to me. Just move slowly towards that asteroid." "This is crazy captain, even more crazy than usual." I looked deep into her brown eyes and asked, "Do you trust me Sandy?" She sighed deeply then smiled, "God help me but I do. Alright captain, I''ll do what you say." Chapter Nine - Scar and Black Chapter nine "Alfred, please start broadcasting on all frequencies." "Broadcast started." "This is Captain Callaghan of the pirate ship Vishnu. My crew and I have come here to give ourselves up, well sort of. We need a fleet of powerful ships that could help us cross the mine fields in sector 13 on our way to the compendium. Of course the one who helps me get to the Compendium will be entitled to get the prize that the compendium is offering." Twitch looked up from his workstation with a worried expression, "Captain, the broadcast has revealed our location and we have multiple weapons locked on to us." Sandy also looked up from her workstation, "Shall I take evasive maneuvers?" "No, keep going forward and uncloak. Steadily move forward and keep true to our current course." A few seconds later Twitch''s panicky voice rang out through the bridge, "Captain, several of the weapons are powering up!" "Don''t worry they won''t shoot." "They are about to shoot!" Klaxons started to blare and bright lights started to flash then Sandy said,"Those are the proximity sensors, we have almost reached the blockade. If they are going to shoot us, now would be the perfect time." My crew started to panic but I just pursed my lips and gave a loud whistle which restored some order, "Calm the fuck down you bunch of pansies. If you would get your heads out of your asses for a few seconds then you would have noticed that nobody has shot at us yet." They finally noticed that we were going through the blockade and passing in between the ships but not a single one of them were firing at us. Everybody looked at the surreal scene of hundreds of ships pointing their guns point blank at our faces yet not firing then Alfred''s soothing voice said, "Captain, the ship is being hailed by one Admiral Black from the federation starfleet and one Scarface from the Corporation''s armada." "Let them both through. Display them on the main screen. Open three split screen communication if you will Alfred." Two men appeared on the screen. One was an older looking gentleman with with gray hair and a clean white uniform with medals clearly displayed on his chest. The other was a man with a black mask covering the top half of his face. His mouth was visible and it was stretched into a large jovial grin. "Brucy! Have you gone senile? You can''t just waltz into a blockade like that! What if some nervous cadet with a twitchy trigger finger had shot you down!" "Who are you calling senile Scar? You are way older than me! So it was really true? You joined the Corporation?" This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there. He shrugged and said, "The pay is good, the ships are great , and they even offered to make me section commander. Plus I have more wives than I know what to do with. Maybe you should consider joining up too Brucy." "Maybe some other day Scar." The silent man in white uniform finally decided to speak, "I hate to break up this touching reunion between two degenerate lowlifes but my time is precious. Callaghan, you will board a small shuttle and come to our flagship to surrender yourself to the federation immediately." "Admiral Black I presume? Well Admiral Black, I think you might have misheard what I said, I never said that I was going to hand myself over to the federation on a silver platter. You might have noticed that there are two major powers here." "It does not matter. We will go retrieve the schematics from the compendium and share it with the Corporation." Scarface didn''t like that, "And we are just going to trust you? You want us to give you the key to unimaginable power and you want us to believe that you will just share it with us afterwards? Do I look like I was born yesterday?" Admiral Black started to frown, "How dare you question my integrity! You are just a mercenary, a rabid dog being held back by a collar made of money. What would you know of honor?" Scarface scoffed when he heard Black''s comment, "Don''t give me that honor crap. You want to pretend that you are somehow better than us but everybody knows that you are worse than any mercenary out there! Did you forget how you personally ordered the destruction of the planet calypso which was filled with innocent people just because some rebels were hiding there? Where was your honor then?" Sandy patted my shoulder and I pressed the button to mute my end of the conversation, "What is wrong Sandy?" "We are right next to the asteroid, what do we do now?" "Excellent. Twitch, on my signal I want you to shoot down all the dicks in the area before they can get their shields up and then I want you to knock down that mining rig. Professor, I want you to activate the new shields and I want you to concentrate them to the front of the ship. Alfred, I want you to concentrate the powers of our main shields to the back. Sandy, I want you to take the ship through that mining shaft and don''t stop until you see the bottom. Does everybody understand what they should be doing?" For a moment they just started blankly. "I said does everyone understand what they should be doing?" They eventually recovered and simultaneously shouted out, "Aye aye, Captain!" "Good, then it''s show time." Chapter Ten - The Admirals Lament Chapter ten Admiral Black was pissed. The fact that he had been assigned a position that was tantamount to glorified guard duty always made him feel like his talent was being squandered and as if that wasn''t bad enough, he had to share the command of the area and cooperate with the Corporation''s hired goons but he swallowed his resentment and continued to do his duty. Today, just like any other day, he was overseeing drills in formations and coordination so that the fleet didn''t get rusty and lose it''s edge when one of the communication officers suddenly came running to him without even saluting properly. He was about to have the man court marshaled and thrown into the detention area but that thought vanished when he heard the man speak, "Sir, Captain Callaghan of the pirate ship Vishnu is surrendering to us, he is sending the message through all frequencies. He is saying that he wants an escort through the mine field." Admiral Black was thrilled. Finally, something that was important enough to warrant his attention had come along. Callaghan was not only one of the most notorious criminals wanted by the federation but he was also the key to the reward offered by the compendium and now he had happen right into his hand. One of Black''s lieutenants saluted and said, "Shall I give the order to open fire?" "What? Fuck no! If anybody so much as breathes too hard in the Vishnu''s direction, they will be executed immediately. This is an executive order, hold your fire. I repeat, hold your fire." "Sir, what about the Telerium? The Vishnu is a known pirate ship, can we let them get to the asteroid?" "Am I surrounded by idiots? The asteroid is surrounded by our ships, where can the Vishnu go to even if they managed to steal some Telerium. In fact Fuck the Telerium. If we can get our hands on compendium tech then we can crush the corporation. After that we can have all the Telerium in the galaxy. Now shut up before I charge you with insubordination and hail the Vishnu." A few minutes later the nondescript face of ''two face'' Callaghan showed up on the screen but it wasn''t the only one. Next to it was a face that Black knew well, a face he hated to his core, his co-commander of the blockade, Scarface. As he watched, Callaghan and Scarface started to talk like old buddies. In the end he couldn''t take it anymore and he said, "I hate to break up this touching reunion between two degenerate lowlifes but my time is precious. Callaghan, you will board a small shuttle and come to our flagship to surrender yourself to the federation immediately." Callaghan just sneered at the Admiral, infuriating him further, "Admiral Black I presume? Well Admiral Black, I think you might have misheard what I said, I never said that I was going to hand myself over to the federation on a silver platter. You might have noticed that there are two major powers here." Admiral Black didn''t want to continue to associate with people beneath him so he quickly replied, "It does not matter. We will go retrieve the schematics from the compendium and share it with the Corporation." This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. Scarface didn''t like that, "And we are just going to trust you? You want us to give you the key to unimaginable power and you want us to believe that you will just share it with us afterwards? Do I look like I was born yesterday?" Admiral Black started to frown, "How dare you question my integrity! You are just a mercenary, a rabid dog being held back by a collar made of money. What would you know of honor?" Scarface scoffed when he heard Black''s comment, "Don''t give me that honor crap. You want to pretend that you are somehow better than us but everybody knows that you are worse than any mercenary out there! Did you forget how you personally ordered the destruction of the planet calypso which was filled with innocent people just because some rebels were hiding there? Where was your honor then?" Admiral Black traded some more insults with Scarface and was about to make a scathing comment about his hygiene and parentage when his lieutenant said, "Sir, the Vishnu''s weapon systems have powered up. Twelve D.I.C ships and the mining rig have already been destroyed. The Vishnu has gone down the mining shaft." The Admiral could not believe what he was hearing. At first he was angry but then he started to laugh. "All these pirates and mercenaries are the same, completely brainless. Where does Callaghan think he is going? Does he think that hiding in a hole can save him? Is he retarded?" An intelligence officer who had been silently watching from the side suddenly stepped forward, "Sir, Bruce ''two face'' Callaghan has been called a lot of things; ruthless, careless, honorless and heartless but he has never been called brainless. Callaghan is known for being cunning. I suggest that you take this more seriously sir." Black only scoffed when he heard that, "He is trapped like a rat, there is nothing to be concerned about." He hadn''t even finished talking when the squeaky voice of a panicky officer was heard, "Sir, it''s moving! The whole thing is moving!" "What''s moving?" "The asteroid is moving and it is headed right for us!" He turned to the main screen only to see the giant asteroid getting bigger and bigger as it approached. He immediately started to panic and shouted,"Everyone open fire! Evasive maneuvers! Evasive maneuvers" The screen lit up as all the ships in the blockade opened fire on the asteroid but it was no use. The asteroid was made of almost pure Telerium, even the Corporation''s super weapons couldn''t put a dent on it. Eventually the asteroid, which was now traveling at a respectable speed, bulldozed its way through the blockade, destroying the poor ships that weren''t able to get out of the way in time. Fortunately for Admiral Black, his ship did make it out of the way in time but all he could do was stare as the single biggest source of Telerium in the galaxy, the thing he had been ordered to guard, flew away into the mine field. Chapter eleven - greed Chapter eleven The ship shook slightly now and then but the facts and figures displayed on the screen showed that the stress levels were well within acceptable parameters. "You are one crazy son of a bitch Captain but I have to admit that this plan was rather clever." I couldn''t help but smirk when I heard Sandy''s compliment, I was rather pleased with my plan too. We were passing through the minefield covered by what was essentially an almost impenetrable turtle shell made out of the hardest material in the known universe. The mines exploded when we came into contact with them but none of the shrapnel or concentrated energy beams could get past the asteroid. Sure, the power they released was still devastating but with the professor''s new shields , the ship was safe. Basically, the asteroid complemented the professor''s new shields perfectly and made up for their rather obvious weaknesses so we were perfectly safe inside of it. The ship shook now and then as another mine detonated but other than that, we were sailing smoothly through one of the most dangerous regions without the need to use a fleet of decoy ships to clear the area ahead of us, a feat that was thought to be impossible. I sat there soaking up my crew memner''s admiration and awe, gloating like I always did after one of my plans inevitably succeeded, when Sandy frowned and started to type on her workstation before she looked back at me with annoyance, Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings. "I just did the calculations, this plan would have worked with any decently sized asteroid." "I know." "Then why did we just take the risk of stealing the most heavily guarded one available?" "Because the professor said that he needed some Telerium." "Couldn''t we have bought some?" "Hell no! We are pirates, remember? We take what we want! Plus, this way we can modify the Vishnu to our hearts content and make a pretty penny from selling the Telerium to the highest bidder." Sandy looked furious for some reason. Her face turned red and her eyes started to flash dangerously, "You idiot! We are going to the compendium to get unimaginable riches and all you can think of is getting even more money? What is wrong with you? How much money would be enough to satisfy you?" "What do you mean Sandy? How can one have enough money?" The respect in my crew''s eyes that were there a second ago vanished without a trace. The bridge was suddenly filled with people grumbling under their breath, "Money grubbing bastard..." "How can he be so greedy?" "Why did we let him become our captain again?" "Is there anything he wouldn''t do to get more loot?" I pretended I didn''t hear anything and instead I pretended to be busy working on my workstation while wondering if I really was too greedy. Chapter twelve - no red carpet Chapter twelve We finally made it past the minefield when the main screen in front of me flickered and an indistinct blurry outline of a man appeared on it. "Warning! You are about to enter a restricted area! If you move any further, we will be forced to take lethal action against you." I was surprised by the sudden unauthorized communication, "Alfred, what is going on?" "It seems that my communication protocols are being overwritten. Their hacking abilities are too great, my firewalls are crumbling under their assault like soggy tissue paper." "Is this a two way connection Alfred?" "Yes." "Alright then, I''ll try talking to them. Greetings to the Compendium. This is Captain Callaghan of the Ship Vishnu and I have come here following your instruction." The outline started to flicker and distort violently, "Error...error...inconsistencies found in memory bank. Integrity compromised. Going into emergency protection mode." Sandy''s panicky voice came from behind me,"Captain, our scanners are picking up fifteen incoming vessels. Judging by their speed and the signature they are giving off, they are compendium ships. They are opening fire! Captain, what should we do?" I knew that this whole thing smelled a little fishy but was all of this just some plot to get rid of us using a borrowed knife? No, I''m sure that no one was capable of a hoax of this magnitude. Plus there was the suspicious way that the blurry outline on the screen was acting. The thing was probably an A.I. that was in charge of the compendium''s perimeter defense. Inconsistencies found in memory bank? Integrity compromised? What did this mean? An A.I. belonging to the compendium being hacked? And on the day we arrive? Coincidence? I don''t think so. Something was definitely going on. No one in the known universe has the capability to hack into an A.I. that belongs to the compendium so who was doing this? This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it. The first volley of attacks arrived before I even had a chance to react. We were still inside the meteor made of Telerium, the same meteor that weathered through the combined attack of the federation and the corporation, the same meteor that let us pass through a minefield. After all of this, the meteor was still almost completely intact but after a single round of attacks by the ships from the compendium, cracks started to appear on its surface which scared the crap out of me. "Retreat! Retreat immediately! Go back into the minefield!" "They''re still following us Captain," Sandy''s voice was getting squeakier with panic. "Alfred, what is the status of the meteor?" "Seven percent of the outer shell has already been removed. The structural integrity has been reduced by thirty four percent. I calculate that it will break up after two more attacks." He had just finished speaking when another volley of attacks rocked our ship violently. Our scanners were showing us that the Compendium ships were powering up to deliver their third and final volley when they suddenly stopped. The glow of their weapons vanished and the weapons themselves were retracted back into their teardrop shaped body. "Captain....are we dead? Are we in pirate heaven?" I looked back to see that Sandy had her eyes closed tightly shut. "No, we are still alive." "What? How?" "That is something I also want to know." The blurry figure on the screen flickered again and we heard an angry female voice shout, "Athena you conniving bitch!"