《Roses》


 Chapter 1

    The Vote


    A weak autumn sunshine shone through the skylight windows and into the Inner Roses hall. The hall was a gorgeously designed, dark rosewood themed circular hall, moderate in size. Around the hall, continuing in the circular pattern, were two rows of dark red seats, separated by red carpeted stairs. Every seat was assigned a large tablet that hung from its charging lead wrapped over the seat. Near the centre of the hall were a dozen dark brown coloured wooden seats.


    There was a long passageway into the hall used for both entry and exit. Directly opposite to the passageway was a large, exquisitely designed raised bench. There were two seats at the raised bench and slightly below it was a moderately large screen. Two sets of stairs, each leading to a separate dark red door, flanked the bench from behind.


    On all of the screens and detailed on all the wooden furniture was the Roses logo. The logo was of two roses, inside of the other. The outer rose petals were black and as the petals moved inwards they transformed into a vibrant maroon red.


    At the centre of the ceiling of the hall, hung four large screens, each one facing one of four directions. There were circular cameras dotted on the four corners of the hall and large speakers placed above them.


    Slowly as the minutes passed, people started entering the hall. All of them wore smart black uniforms, one piece dresses for the ladies and suits and red ties for the men. Every person had their own uniquely stitched pattern on the front and back of their clothing. The stitching reflected that individuals specialisation within the organisation.


    There were a myriad of different stitched patterns, some had images of a mind with stars as a backdrop, others had coins stacked or crates in a pile. Each one represented their industry or talents.


    These specific individuals were known as the ¡®Inner Rose¡¯ members. They were the representatives of the organisation and their role was to vote and represent their speciality. There were also seats assigned to local law enforcement and emergency service staff, if necessary.


    More and more Inner Rose members entered as they spoke with each other. They took their assigned seats, removing their tablet from their chair. They all looked for a moment at their tablet as it authorised them through facial recognition. Their tablets lit up with all the information relevant to the agenda for the day.


    Once most of the Inner Rose members were present and seated, a second type of member entered the hall. They were young, fit and confident individuals. They wore more practical black themed clothing, cargo trousers, tight breathable sweaters and black comfortable trainers. Many were equipped with firearms and kevlar armour, some even had multiple weapons strapped around themselves.


    They all shared a common feature, on their left eye was a small, transparent light blue coloured screen. The small screens were called a ¡®Monitor¡¯. It was a form of augmented technology that overlaid information through the screen, depending on what they were looking at. These individuals were known as ¡®Agents¡¯. They confidently walked towards the centre of the hall and took their seats on the wooden chairs.


    Once everyone was present, the passageway door slid closed and a light next to it went red, indicating that the Inner Roses meeting was now beginning. Both the red doors at the back of the hall slid open as two young women walked through them and down the stairs.


    The woman on the left was of Indian descent, with short black hair and brown eyes. She wore a unique black dress. The stitching on it showed a large white eye, with sparkling white stars as a backdrop.


    The woman on the right was pale white, with short blonde hair, green eyes and a brilliant smile. Her dress had the stitching of a sun and moon with sparkling white stars as a backdrop.


    Both of them were very young, 18 years old to be precise. They walked down the stairs with large tablets in their hands and as they approached their seats at the raised bench, a synthetic female voice spoke over the speakers in the hall.


    ¡°All rise for Nadia and Aisling.¡±


    Everyone in the hall stood up as Nadia sat on the left seat and Aisling sat on the right.


    Aisling smiled, ¡°Thank you, you may all be seated.¡±


    Everyone sat down and the hall went quiet as everyone listened in interest.


    Nadia looked up at the skylight and smiled, ¡°It¡¯s good to see the sunlight. Let¡¯s hope it lasts all day.¡±


    The synthetic female voice spoke over the speakers around the hall, ¡°Ladies and gentlemen, good morning. We shall now commence today''s meeting. Today''s agenda is currently displayed on the screens. We shall begin on the first point of United Nations exchange services.¡±


    The voice started to speak again but stopped itself. A person was standing in the front row. He had short ginger hair, pale skin and thin rimmed glasses. His uniform stitchings were a mind with stars as a backdrop, indicating the field of psychology.


    The synthetic voice addressed the standing man, ¡°Mr. Jones, is there something wrong?¡±


    The man¡¯s face looked deeply concerned as he looked down at his hands, he took a moment to muster the courage to say what he needed to.


    His voice was quiet, ¡°I am calling the vote.¡±


    The voice enquired, ¡°To which vote are you referring to?¡±


    He answered slowly and deliberately, ¡°Angels.¡±


    There was a silent pause as Inner Rose members and agents looked amongst each other in confusion.


    There was movement amongst the agents near the centre of the hall. A surprisingly tall and muscular man, with short black hair and a clean shaven face, stood up.


    The man spoke frustratingly, ¡°I¡¯ve tried this before Oliver and it won¡¯t pass without a good reason.¡±


    Oliver''s voice was deep with concern, ¡°Michael, it¡¯s different this time.¡± His face was racked with sadness, ¡°We are losing him¡­ We¡¯ve run out of time.¡±


    The voice responded in a reassuring tone, ¡°He is safe and there is no cause for concern.¡±


    Oliver shook his head, ¡°AI¡­ I¡¯m a psychologist. It¡¯s my job to pay attention to my patients, to listen, talk to and to help them. It¡¯s my job to know them intimately¡­ To know him.¡±


    Oliver pronounced AI''s name as ''Aye'', just like everyone else did.


    He stopped talking and looked back down at his hands, ¡°He¡¯s code-red for suicide, AI¡­ The situation is truly that bad. He¡¯s nearly completely lost himself now. He¡¯s withered away into near nothingness. If this vote doesn¡¯t pass this time, we will never get the chance to vote on it again.¡±


    He slowly repeated, ¡°I am calling the vote.¡±


    The room filled with concerned whispers. The two Inner Rose members standing next to Oliver tried to comfort him by putting their hand on his shoulder, even though they knew not what was being discussed. He shrugged off both attempts, however.


    Another long moment passed before AI responded, ¡°Very well, Oliver.¡±


    The four large screens at the centre of the hall went black for a second. Then the image changed to a black background, with the title ¡°Angels¡± at the top centre, underneath the title were 4 white boxes in a row, the fourth box had a red cross in it.


    Oliver looked up and noticed the fourth box¡¯s red cross.


    Oliver raised his voice, ¡°AI, it¡¯s time¡­ We need to save his life¡­¡±


    AI calmly responded, ¡°I can have him watched over by agents to keep him from hurting himself. I believe he simply needs more time.¡±


    Oliver shouted, ¡°You would imprison him¡­ AFTER ALL HE¡¯S DONE FOR US?!¡±


    There was a large noise of shock across the hall.


    The young lady sitting on the left of the raised bench, Nadia, spoke, ¡°Mr.Jones, please calm down¡­¡±


    Oliver shook his head as he looked once more at the ground.


    After a moment AI responded, ¡°I see your point and I never saw it that way. My apologies, please forgive me, Oliver.¡±


    AI announced to the hall, ¡°This vote has been called and the reasoning is sound. There will be four individuals partaking in the vote, Michael Campbell, ex-agent James Hull, Oliver Jones and myself.¡±


    ¡°For the first vote, Michael Campbell, what say you?¡±


    Michael instantly responded, ¡°Aye.¡±


    A large tick mark appeared in the first box on the screens.


    AI continued, ¡°For the second vote, I have established video communication with ex-agent James Hull.¡±


    On the top left of the screens, a video feed showed the man looking at his phone. He had short brown hair, blue eyes and a full beard.


    James spoke towards his phone as he scratched his beard, ¡°Greetings AI, what can I help you with?¡±


    AI summarised, ¡°We are calling the Angel vote once more, James.¡±


    James looked away from his phone as he shook his head in frustration and then looked back at his phone, ¡°Again Michael? I¡¯ve already told you it won¡¯t pass unless there is significant reason, mate. This is the third time you¡¯ve called it now, come off it!¡±, James rolled his eyes in frustration.


    Oliver quickly spoke, ¡°It was me who called the vote, James.¡±


    James¡¯s tone shifted quickly into concern, ¡°Oh Oliver¡­ Why? What happened?¡±


    Oliver spoke remorsefully, ¡°He is at his end James¡­ I can¡¯t save him from his own suffering anymore.¡±


    James looked away for a long moment as he stared into the distance. His face was sad as he reflected on tragic memories. He was thinking intensely of what this truly meant.


    ¡°It¡¯s that bad mate?... Very well, then it is about damn time the truth came out¡­ I say aye.¡±


    A tick appeared in the second box.


    The inevitability of the vote was now clear. Oliver was the last to vote, however since he was the one who called the vote, AI didn¡¯t need to ask him, as it would have been redundant. A tick appeared in the third box. There were three ticks to one cross, and therefore the vote was a majority pass.


    AI announced, ¡°It is decided by majority vote, The ¡®Angels¡¯ vote has passed.¡±


    The screens transformed into one large green box with a large green tick in the centre.


    The one we all owe everything


    Nadia frowned, ¡°Gentlemen the whole world is watching this. It disturbs me greatly that Aisling and I have no clue what you¡¯re talking about. As a public facing organisation, this is concerning.¡±


    Aisling, sitting on the right of the raised bench, folded her arms in frustration, ¡°What does ¡®Angels¡¯ refer to please?¡±


    Oliver ignored both their remarks and looked away in relief as he took deep breaths to calm himself. He knew the desperation of the vote and what they would all lose if it never passed.


    Oliver spoke quietly, ¡°Thank God, I can¡¯t express how desperate this was¡­ I can¡¯t lose him.¡±


    AI spoke slightly louder than it had before, ¡°I made a promise to him and now I have broken it.¡±


    Michael responded, ¡°By voting no, you kept your promise with honour, AI.¡±


    AI¡¯s voice went quiet, ¡°Time will tell if he will see it that way, Michael.¡±


    AI spoke quickly, ¡°We will need to hide this session from him, he can¡¯t watch this session today and he can¡¯t know about everyone being made aware of his existence.¡±


    Michael nodded, ¡°Yes, can I trust you to keep him distracted today, AI? Find excuses and reasons for him to not turn on the TV.¡±


    Oliver shook his head in disagreement, ¡°This is the only thing he cares for anymore¡­ All he does during the day is watch this live broadcast. What else is he supposed to do?¡±


    There was a pause as Michael and Oliver looked at the ground, they thought intensely for a solution.


    AI slowly spoke, ¡°His pain today is significantly worse than normal, Oliver.¡±


    Oliver looked up, slightly confused, ¡°Yes?¡±


    AI waited a long moment before stating, ¡°Morphine.¡±


    Oliver felt a wave of sadness, ¡°If I gave him a large enough dosage, it would knock him out and we can be sure he won¡¯t stir for many hours.¡±


    Oliver felt disgusted at himself for a moment for considering this¡­ But the situation was this desperate. He reminded himself that he had to remember the bigger picture, that this session is hopefully the cure and not another band aid.


    Oliver quickly muttered to himself, ¡°I will need to go to the apartment myself to administer the drug. It shouldn¡¯t matter if I excuse myself now anyway¡­ I know it¡¯s not me who will tell this story.¡±


    Oliver looked at Michael for a brief moment and nodded to him. He briskly walked down the stairs of his pew and out the main entrance. Michael walked to the centre of the hall, to ensure that all could see him clearly. It was hard to miss a man of his size, but Michael needed to ensure he was the focus of everyone''s attention.


    Aisling asked concerningly, ¡°Morphine? Excuse me, but isn¡¯t that an extremely powerful painkiller? This person you speak of¡­ Can¡¯t you just give them sleeping tablets?¡±


    Michael looked at Aisling for a long moment. His face was sad¡­ He clearly knew something tragic that she did not. Aisling realised and she looked away. Whatever it is she didn¡¯t know about the morphine, it was not yet time to know it.


    Michael announced, ¡°AI, this will take all the session, please clear the agenda.¡±


    On the large screens, the list of agenda points were completely wiped. All that remained was the title ¡®Angels¡¯.


    Aisling stood up in irritation, ¡°Hold on, the entire day''s business? Some of those are directly affecting relief supplies for the storm happening right now as we speak, in the Philippines!¡±


    AI responded, ¡°I will coordinate with the local government representatives and have the logistics managed in the background. Aisling, the topic we speak of is of greater importance.¡±


    Aisling was getting even more irate, ¡°There are 140 million people living there and we are not even going to discuss their threat? We have a representative waiting for our conference call right now!¡±


    AI instantly responded, ¡°I will send them any relief supplies they require.¡±


    Aisling took in a deep breath and was on the verge of saying more, when AI cut her off.


    AI said in a final tone, ¡°It¡¯s under control, please focus on this now.¡±


    Aisling was shocked as she stood there for a few seconds, stunned. Aisling turned to Nadia with a bewildered face. Nadia was also surprised, her eyes were wide open.


    Aisling finally spoke as she stared down at her table, ¡°What¡¯s going on here? I have a horrible feeling now, about today. I have never had AI dismiss me before¡­¡±


    Michael smiled at her, ¡°Aisling¡­ Please sit.¡±


    As she took her seat, there were a few murmurs across the hall, but it quickly died down. Michael had the stage as he stood there for a long moment, looking down as he arranged his thoughts and prepared himself.


    Michael spoke loudly to ensure all heard him, ¡°The Roses¡­ Are an impossible miracle. What I see when I look around is hard to believe. An organisation, stretching across the globe, doing good and building a brighter future. I see more and more of my fellow Rose members, every day. On the Television, on online video platforms and even on the papers. We have become a proud and honourable collective and the dream of Aisling and Nadia has been truly realised¡­ We are succeeding in making true, positive change.¡±


    Michael paused for a long moment. Long enough that people started looking around, as if something had happened or perhaps something was wrong.


    Michael¡¯s words were slow but deliberate, ¡°What if I told you¡­ That it¡¯s all been built on a sacrifice so great¡­ That it would completely change your perspective of all we have accomplished?¡±


    ¡°What if I told you that we all owe a debt¡­ A debt so large, we could never hope to pay it?¡±


    Michael looked down at the ground with sadness, ¡°What if all our proud accomplishments were being carried on the shoulder of a hidden giant?¡±


    Nadia was deeply concerned, ¡°Michael, what don¡¯t we know here? I almost never see you frown even¡­ This is the first time I have ever seen you so sad.¡±


    Aisling nodded, ¡°You¡¯ve only ever been our smiling hero¡­¡±


    Michael shook his head for a long moment, ¡°I admit, I have been acting for the last few months. I have been wearing a mask to hide the truth I swore not to tell, a promise of absolute importance. I have cried rivers of tears over this promise I''ve made. This truth has changed me, it¡¯s reshaped my perspective of my own abilities and my character. It has me questioning all the impact we have accomplished here together. I have entered this building for months, pretending to be ignorant as I swam in a sea of hopeful smiles and waded through mountains of optimism and confidence.¡±


    He stared into eternity, ¡°This organisation is incredible¡­ But you don¡¯t know the price that was paid for its success.¡±


    He looked around the hall, ¡°It has been my purpose for the last eleven months, to make sense of this truth. In what little time off I have had, I have been feverishly researching and connecting the dots, trying to form the picture of what really happened. I wanted to completely discover the story behind this deceptively beautiful painting, that we call ¡®The Roses¡¯. It has consumed me entirely and became my sole mission.¡±


    There were many concerned faces across the hall as everyone listened to every word with complete attention. Nobody dared to move as they waited for Michael to continue.


    He read the room and realised that he was going on for too long, ¡°Forgive me, I¡¯m sure you must all have a million questions and concerns right now. I will give everyone answers today. It''s time for the truth to be revealed.¡±


    ***


    The Dream Of Hope


    Aisling and Nadia sat next to each other in Aisling''s parents living room. It was a quiet Saturday afternoon, and the two 16-year-olds had just finished eating their lunch. With nothing better to do, they turned on the TV to see if there was anything interesting to watch.


    As the TV screen turned on, a newsreel had just begun, with a news presenter speaking.


    "Two years on from ''The Clamp,'' as the youth now refer to it, the agency of statistics has revealed concerning numbers. According to their report, the suicide rate among those under 30 has increased by 43% compared to the five prior years. GBB has reached out for comment from the prime minister, and we will report back when we receive a response."


    Aisling made a disappointed "Tsk" sound as she grabbed the remote and changed the channel. The TV showed a talk show featuring a young woman and a middle-aged man. The man appeared very sympathetic as he gently patted the young lady''s back.


    ¡°Tell me love¡­ How do you feel about your life right now?¡±


    She stared at her lap, ¡°I feel¡­ Like I¡¯m a burden to my family. I feel like nobody wants me and I wish I could disappear.¡±


    He gently hushed her, ¡°No no, come on now that¡¯s not true. You¡¯re incredible and we all want you to be happy.¡±


    She shook her head, ¡°No¡­ You don¡¯t care about our happiness¡­¡±


    Aisling immediately grabbed the remote and changed the channel, feeling a horrible sense of worthlessness. Her mind raced with thoughts about how the young lady felt, and what disturbed Aisling was that she felt that way deep down as well.


    The new channel showed a recording of a young man being tackled and arrested by the police. He was flailing around, trying to break free as the officers held onto his shirt to keep him in place as they brought him down.


    ¡°Let go of me you fucking pigs! What did I do wrong eh?! You just targetted me cause i¡¯m young you fuck-¡±


    The police officer punched him in the stomach, ¡°Be quiet, you were inciting anger and trying to provoke violence!¡±


    The young man coughed and caught his breath, ¡°Why don''t you just kill me now, huh? Do it like you did during the Clamp, and fucking end me! We all know you don''t think of me as a person, so just fucking do it then!¡±


    In the background, a crowd of young teenagers watched in horror, as a young girl shouted out, "Please leave him alone! He did nothing wrong, he has rights!"


    The policeman pointed at her aggressively, "Your generation lost your rights when you lost your respect and sense of place!"


    Aisling turned off the TV, feeling panic and hopelessness overwhelm her. Nadia hugged her in an attempt to calm her down, but she was also shocked by what they had seen on the TV.


    In frustration, Aisling threw the controller at the wall, and it shattered into pieces. Nadia squeezed her tighter, trying to soothe her.


    "Shh, Ash, be calm, please." Nadia urged.


    Aisling began shaking, "That''s our generation, Nadia! What''s happening in this country, it''s horrible!"


    "I know, but if we just keep our heads down, it will all blow over¡­"


    "Keep our heads down? How are we going to feel when we reach our thirties and think we''re worthless?"


    "I know, Ash, but what can we do? We don''t want another Clamp¡­"


    Aisling slowly breathed as she tried to calm down. She shook her head as her hopelessness transformed into anger.


    ¡°We can''t be afraid, Nadia. I think we need to do something¡­ We need to give hope.¡±


    Nadia shook her head, ¡°But how, Ash? They have us down, and they''ve shown what happens if we try to stand up¡­¡±


    Aisling stared at the ground for a moment, ¡°We can''t give them hope¡­ They need to find it within themselves.¡±


    ¡°That''s the problem. Our generation is angry and scared to take action, and the older people are too angry and selfish to try to help us¡­ Nobody can fix this.¡±


    Aisling smiled, ¡°Nadia, help me here. There has to be a way! I know the problem, I need a solution!¡±


    Nadia closed her eyes, deep in thought for several minutes. When she opened them, she smiled at Aisling.


    ¡°What if... Neither of them do?¡±


    Aisling tilted her head sideways, ¡°What? Are you saying nobody does anything?¡±


    Nadia shook her head, ¡°No¡­ What if it wasn¡¯t a person who decided how to help?¡±


    Aisling whispered, ¡°... Machines?¡±


    Nadia smiled, ¡°My cousin works in AI, he literally edits them and makes new ones¡­ What if I asked him to make us one, and the AI decides fairly for both?¡±


    Aisling stood up as a wave of hope took over her whole body. She smiled gloriously as her eyes sparkled.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go give our generation hope.¡±


    ***


    Michael resumed his story.


    ¡°We start at the very beginning, in the formative days when Nadia and Aisling only had a primitive version of AI in a tablet they carried. They ran around trying to demonstrate and convince people of their dream.¡±


    He looked at the two on the raised bench, ¡°Aisling, Nadia¡­ Would you please be so kind as to explain what your dream was back then?¡±


    The two were surprised as they looked back at him as they never expected to be asked something like this. They both smiled gorgeously¡­ Their smile was what defined the Roses leadership until this point, the smile that represented their mission. They both stood up.


    Nadia started, ¡°Our dream was to give hope to the current generations of adults, to give purpose through service and to use technology to change the course of humanity for the better.¡±


    Aisling finished, ¡°Our dream was to create an honest, honour-bound, non-profit humanitarian organisation and to ensure that merit is given to those who care and excel.¡±


    They both smiled and then took their seats. Smiles had replaced the frowns across the hall¡­ The two young leaders had that effect. Their hope and optimism was contagious as even Michael found himself smiling. It was simply impossible to resist their smiles.


    Michael resumed, ¡°It¡¯s hard to believe it, but in the beginning¡­ They were simply two seventeen year old girls with a tablet. How humble their start, compared to the massive organisation that we are today.¡±


    He smiled, ¡°On the first day they unfortunately had little success. On the second day however, they met a young man who joined them for the day as he tried to accomplish whatever their little tablet suggested.¡±


    Nadia exclaimed, ¡°I remember him! Remember Aisling? We met him on the train, and he didn¡¯t believe us when we said we wanted to change the world?¡±


    Aisling tapped her head, trying to remember, ¡°Yeah, what was his name? Andrew wasn¡¯t it?¡±


    Michaels voice was soft and reverent, ¡°Yes¡­ Andrew was his name, Andrew Smith.


    Tell me you two, what else do you remember about Andrew?¡±


    Nadia¡¯s voice changed to frustration, ¡°Well, I remember he initially talked like the world couldn¡¯t be changed.¡±


    Aisling nodded, ¡°We told him about AI, the tablet and how we planned on it helping us¡­ He was impossibly sceptical.¡±


    Nadia smiled, ¡°He got off the train with us though¡­ He said he would walk with us, since he had nothing better to do.¡±


    Aisling beamed her incredible smile, ¡°Even though he didn¡¯t believe us, he still helped us with our first tasks. I even think I managed to convince him over the day, because he started to ask more and more questions.¡±


    Michael softly spoke, ¡°He believed in you two¡­ Far more than you realised.¡±


    Aisling and Nadia went quiet for a moment as they realised Michaels tone was deeply significant.


    Aisling finished her recollection, ¡°We never saw him after that day Michael¡­ Which is a shame, as I imagine he might have grown to be our first agent rather than you Michael.¡±


    Michael looked away shaking his head. His face was wracked with sadness as he breathed deeply to hold back tears.


    Aisling realised something she said hurt, ¡°I¡¯m sorry Michael...¡±


    She wondered what she had said wrong as she looked at Nadia, but Nadia shook her head in confusion as well. The two said nothing as they waited for Michael to regain his posture.


    He spoke loudly and with emphasis, ¡°Andrew¡­ Andrew is the one we all owe everything to.¡±


    The Bruiges


    Murmurs arose across the hall and they lasted much longer than before. Aisling and Nadia looked at each other, as their confusion had been replaced with concern.


    Michael raised his hand and members of the Inner Rose noticed it as the murmurings calmed and the hall went quiet. Michael lowered his hand and stared at the floor for a long spell. Nobody said anything, for clearly they were getting closer to the important truth now. Patience was given to Michael.


    Michael began talking again, ¡°There was a particular thing that happened that day, seemingly as small as a passing memory, yet it proved to be the most significant event.¡±


    ¡°Towards the end of the day, AI recognised that there was a local drug dealer nearby. The three of them tailed the individual and took photographs, gathering enough evidence to call the police to arrest the person. The individual caught wind and ran. Andrew chased after him, managing to tackle him to the ground and giving time for the police to formally arrest them.¡±


    Aisling and Nadia recalled that event. It was exciting to be sure and Andrew reacted surprisingly quickly. The chase was over almost before it began from their perspective. However, they did not yet see the significance.


    Michael continued. ¡°When the police had the dealer secured in the police car and cuffed, they wrote notes and asked questions from Andrew. Andrew gave his full name as he shared the videos and images he gathered as proof.¡±


    Michael slowly emphasised, ¡°He told the police his full name.¡±


    Aisling and Nadia looked at Michael with a deep focus. What was so significant about that? It was only natural that he did that as police need this information to form a case.


    He again spoke very slowly and very deliberately, ¡°Andrew did not tell them anything about Aisling, Nadia or AI, however.¡±


    Once more, the room felt the emphasis and they absorbed it.


    Michael looked at Aisling and Nadia with a concentrated look, ¡°What you don¡¯t know about this story is who this dealer was.¡±


    ¡°The person... Was Gerald Bruige.¡±


    Michael paused to see if anyone would recognise the name.


    The local police representative had his hand raised. ¡°Wait! That Gerald, the one who died in prison nearly a year ago, the son of Ronald Bruige, the old head of the Bruige syndicate?¡±


    ¡°Yes¡±, Michael said simply in response.


    ¡°Gerald was not a simple dealer, he was one of the highest members of the syndicate. He was also the heir to the head of the organisation.¡±


    ¡°His prosecution was instant as the evidence Andrew gave them was conclusive. They issued him 6 years of jail that very night, with no chance of appeal. The father, Ronald Bruige tried throwing around threats and bribes, but none of it worked. All the legal bases were covered and there simply was no argument possible in Gerald''s defence.¡±


    Michael once more left a long silent pause to give time for people to internalise these basic facts.


    ¡°Ronald Bruige was furious, so he got Andrew''s name from his son on Geralds one permitted phone call. Gerald had overheard Andrew''s name when he was detained in the car.¡±


    Both Nadia and Aisling realised where this was headed as they both breathed deeply and buried their faces in their hands.


    Michael looked around the hall, making eye contact with all who were not looking down in worry. He eventually looked back to Nadia and Aisling.


    ¡°The Bruiges had him that same night.¡±


    The author''s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    The Sacrifice


    ¡°Oh God¡­ No¡±, Aisling said.


    She was slightly shaking as fear took hold of her. This was not a possibility she could have imagined. Nadia rolled her chair over to Aisling, embracing her in a hug as she too was shaken up.


    Michael gave them a few moments before he continued.


    ¡°The Bruiges had him kidnapped. They took him to one of their safe houses and hid him in the basement. That night, he simply sat in that chair, bound by ropes, with a bag over his head. It was only the next morning when Ronald arrived.¡±


    ¡°Ronald was furious, his son was taken from him and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. Ronald cared for his son Gerald deeply. One might even say, he cared only for his son.¡±


    ¡°Revenge was on his mind and he went into that basement to exact precisely that. Something precious was stolen from him and he wanted retribution. However, Ronald needed information first.¡±


    Aisling looked up from her hands, ¡°What information?¡±


    Michael pointed straight at Aisling and Nadia, ¡°He wanted to know about you two.¡±


    Aisling and Nadia both jolted up in their seats as their eyes widened in terror. Aisling shook her head and Nadia looked down at the table hopelessly.


    ¡°AI, can you please show the footage from the recording when Ronald first went into the basement.¡±


    AI quickly responded, ¡°Standby, I am accessing records¡­ Ready.¡±


    ¡°Play the clip, starting from the first moment Ronald entered the basement.¡±


    The large screens in the hall began playing the video.


    *


    Andrew sat in the basement motionlessly, his arms and legs bound together by rope. There was a brown paper bag covering his head.


    Ronald walked down the stairs quickly. He was in his late 50¡¯s, bald with a trimmed beard and a weathered face.


    He spoke to the goon standing next to Andrew, ¡°Is this him? Show me his ID.¡±


    The goon shrugged. ¡°He ain¡¯t got none.¡±


    ¡°No ID?... Fine, my men swear they saw him at the station with the two girls¡­ What a shame they didn¡¯t catch them as well...¡±


    ¡°Right!¡±, Ronald shouted.


    Ronald slowly walked around Andrew, ¡°Andrew Smith, the hero himself¡­Andrew, I¡¯m a reasonable person, so let''s cut to the chase shall we?¡±


    Ronald stopped walking in front of Andrew as he bent down and pulled the paper bag off Andrew''s head. Andrew closed his eyes as they struggled to adjust to the bright light above him.


    Andrew had scruffy short brown hair, cold green eyes and a fine, stubble beard. He had a slight gash on the left of his forehead, the result of when they kidnapped him from the train station. A little blood had begun to drip down down his face prior, but it had dried up. Andrew said nothing as he stared defiantly at Ronald.


    ¡°I know your kind, you¡¯re just a tool. I have many tools in my numbers, men and women who do as they are told. You¡¯re as much of a tool as the man standing next to you, so I want to make a deal with you. You tell me who the girls are that you work for and who they work for¡­ And in return I will let you go.¡±


    Andrew slowly looked up at him, his face maintaining a defiant look. A moment passed as he thought intensely, his eyes darting left and right as his mind quickly raced to assess the proposition.


    Andrew finally slowly spoke, ¡°I don¡¯t know¡±. He looked down at Ronalds shoes indicating that he would say no more.


    Ronalds fist swung so fast into the left side of Andrew''s face, the camera almost didn¡¯t see it. Andrew yelped.


    Ronald screamed in his face, ¡°Don¡¯t you fucking lie to me! You wouldn¡¯t have done the job, if you didn¡¯t know who they were! WHO ARE THEY?¡±


    Andrew turned to him as blood dripped from the reopened gash, ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    Andrew defiantly stared at Ronald with a face of commitment and certainty.


    The video ended and the large screens went black again.


    *


    Michael was staring sadly at the floor, his face told the tale of suffering and pain. He knew just how awful this was going to become, for he had spent many days watching the torture recordings. Even though he memorised every single strike, every scream of pain¡­ His heart broke rewatching the clip, for it was knowing what lay before Andrew, that hurt Michael.


    Aisling and Nadia were visibly disturbed. Their breathing was heavy as they buried their faces in their hands. Nadia slightly rocked back and forth, ¡°Not Andrew¡­ Please not Andrew.¡±


    Aisling muttered, ¡°He should have told him about us¡­ This wasn¡¯t his fight.¡±


    Michael recovered himself as he saw many of the Inner Roses were shaken. He needed to find the right words to express this next vitally important part.


    ¡°The day after his arrest, Ronalds son, Gerald, was sent to jail. At the time this video was being recorded, Gerald was already being attacked in prison. There were many people the Bruiges had wronged in that prison¡­ Gerald was an easy target for revenge and by the end of the first day of his prison sentence, Gerald had been beaten and stabbed to death.¡±


    Michael stopped when he heard gasps and he patiently waited for the noise to die down.


    ¡°After the video you watched now, Ronald went from angry¡­ To insane. He had then truly lost everything he cared for. This was the reason why the torture went on as long as it did, as Ronald had nothing left to lose¡­ His entire life had become dedicated to destroying the people responsible.¡±


    After a moment of thought, he stated, ¡°Ronald needed the details of the Roses.¡±


    He shook his head in sorrow, ¡°...He never got those details.¡±


    Aisling looked up, still partially stunned, ¡°He didn¡¯t tell him?!¡±


    She rocked back and forth a few times, ¡°... How long¡­?¡±


    Michael folded his arms as he finally shed a tear, struggling to answer the question.


    ¡°Three and a half weeks.¡±


    *


    Protecting The Angels


    The hall was suddenly consumed by a wave of horrified shock as cries of terror combined with the sound of dozens of individuals suddenly standing from their seats. There were shouts of ¡®No!¡¯ and ¡®My God¡­¡¯ echoed around the room.


    Michael regained his posture once more as he stood there for many minutes, the seemingly never ending cries carried on. He looked around and witnessed many people attempting to comfort each other, and heads in hands full of distress. The Rose agents that were sitting in the middle of the hall were shocked, shaking their heads as they glanced at each other.


    This was a hard thing to hear, no matter who you were. Aisling and Nadia took the longest to regain their composure. Aisling in particular was entirely distraught, she stared down at her desk as her eyes flooded with tears.


    Aisling looked at Michael and after a moment, the frog in her voice cleared. ¡°Surely this didn¡¯t need to happen, right? I¡¯m sure if he told them about us, we would have managed¡­ Right?¡±


    AI responded, ¡°No Aisling, I¡¯m afraid you wouldn''t have managed at all.¡±


    AI decided that this deserved an explanation, as it searched its database to find the relevant video.


    ¡°I will show you a video that will help you fully realise and understand what Ronald intended to do with you two. The video I am about to show you is from four months ago, when Andrew met Ronald in prison.¡±


    Aisling instantly reacted, ¡°Andrew met Ronald? Why on earth would he meet the person who tortured him?!¡±


    Michael answered, ¡°There is a good reason, but that will have to wait till later, Aisling, please trust me... All in good time.¡±


    The large screen began playing the clip.


    *


    Prison interview 1


    Andrew sat in his wheelchair, wearing a white hoodie with the hood up, completely covering his head and face. His posture was weak, slightly slouched and his breathing was laboured as he looked through the transparent safety glass window of the isolation prison visiting room, awaiting Ronalds arrival.


    A moment passed before the door opposite the glass opened and through the door entered Ronald, wearing his grey prison overall. His hands were cuffed behind his back with two prison wardens behind him, batons in one hand and their other hand held tightly to Ronalds shoulders. They had complete control over him.


    Andrew slightly jumped when he looked up and saw the wolf. ¡®The wolf¡¯ was the nickname Andrew had chosen to refer to Ronald. It was a clear reflection of the vicious and deliberate behaviour Ronald had demonstrated in the past.


    He experienced a full range of fear seeing him, no matter the fact that he was clearly defanged. The Wolf was slowly pushed onto the seat facing the three inch thick safety glass, after which the two wardens took a step back.


    The left warden spoke to Ronald, ¡°If you so much as stand up, we will beat you Ronald¡­ Don¡¯t test us on this.''''


    The wolf slightly nodded to confirm.


    Andrew looked over his face, noticing sleep deprivation marks under his eyes and his once trimmed beard now no longer maintained. His face was devoid of seemingly¡­ Anything.


    The second warden looked at Andrew, ¡°Son, hit that button to your left if you need us, alright?¡± Andrew nodded to show his understanding.


    The two wardens walked out the door, shutting it behind them. A loud locking sound made evident that the wolf was locked securely in his cage.


    The wolf looked up to see who had called to visit him. Suddenly his face animated to the form of disgust.


    He shouted, ¡°Not you again!¡±


    Andrew jolted back into his wheelchair in shock.


    ¡°Well if it isn¡¯t Mr. I DON¡¯T FUCKING KNOW!¡±


    The wolf kicked the bottom of the barrier to express his anger and frustration.


    ¡°Ladies and gentlemen behold the man I tortured for weeks! The man I gave my all to hurt and make suffer¡­ AND ALL HE FUCKING GAVE ME WAS ¡®I DON¡¯T KNOW!¡¯ ¡±, the wolf howled.


    He kept shouting that sentence again and again, ¡°I don¡¯t know! I don¡¯t know! I don¡¯t know!¡±, he repeated until it sounded dull even to him.


    The wolf stopped to catch his breath for a moment as he leaned forward to look straight into Andrew''s eyes. This was something he did many times during Andrews torture. It was his way of measuring the mental state of his victim and maintaining control.


    Andrew couldn¡¯t look away, for the wolf''s eyes were cold and horrible as they instantly elicited fear in him. His body began to hurt simply in response to the thought of what usually happened after he would see this face.


    Andrew began to cry, his fear betraying him. He now faced his enemy¡­ And he faltered.


    The wolf gently asked, ¡°Why didn¡¯t you just tell me, boy?¡±


    His face changed to a surprisingly genuine¡­ Concern.


    ¡°I honestly would have let you go, you know that right? My fight wasn¡¯t with you, my target was those fucking do-goody whores you served so pathetically¡±, he spat the words out.


    Andrew slowly wiped his tears away while slightly rocking back and forth for a few moments, before he faced the wolf again.


    Andrew quietly asked, ¡°What would you have done to them?¡±. His voice was slightly slurred still due to his missing teeth.


    ¡°What would I have done if you had told me who they were?¡±, the wolf slowly said, the corner of his mouth raised into a perverse malevolent smile.


    His eyes widened as rage filled every surface of his face. It was like staring into a real wolf''s desperate face as it was about to pounce on you, as you had your back to the corner.


    ¡°I would have done everything I could to find them, boy. I would have spent all my money and used every connection I had. I would have pulled every string I could pull, to find those worthless twats!¡±


    ¡°Then I would have kidnapped them like I did you¡­¡±, the wolf stopped, and he looked down to the floor for a few seconds.


    ¡°Then I would have raped them¡­¡±


    ¡°And after they were broken from the rape, I would have tortured them¡­¡±


    ¡°I would have tortured them so badly, it would have made my time with you look like a picnic!¡±


    ¡°They would have begged me for death and I would just cut them to pieces as they screamed uselessly.¡±


    ¡°I would have had them stare at a photograph of my son¡­¡±, the wolf got a frog in his throat the second he mentioned his son.


    ¡°As I ripped their eyes out one after the other!¡±, he screamed at the window and banged his head against the glass.


    Andrew panicked as his intense stress made him squirm in the wheelchair, looking around for someone who could save him from this monster. There was nobody but himself on the other side of the glass though. He was trapped in there with the monster.


    ¡°Then I would go find that stupid robot-AI-THING and I would douse it in petrol and set it on fire! I would round up and kill every single person who worked for it in that building.¡±


    The wolf screamed, ¡°I WOULD HAVE WIPED THE ROSES OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH!¡±


    The wolf looked down to indicate that he was finished, his breath heavy as he regained control. All of the fury had run from him and what was left was the dead and empty face that had met Andrew when Gerald entered the room.


    He calmly looked into Andrew''s eyes, ¡°But that doesn¡¯t matter¡­¡±


    ¡°You won boy¡­ And I lost everything I ever cared for¡­ But hey, at least you saved your friends.¡±


    ¡°Against all odds and no matter what I did to you¡­ You beat me.¡±


    ¡°The only thing I walked away with¡­ Was ¡®I don¡¯t know¡¯.¡±


    Tears now dripped down the Wolf''s face as he looked away with a devastatingly pained face.


    The video ended and the large screens went black again.


    *


    AI spoke. ¡°Aisling, as you now can see, if Andrew had revealed any information, the two of you would be dead and I would have been destroyed.¡±


    Nadia shouted, ¡°You can¡¯t know that! There¡¯s always the chance we could have hid away¡­ We¡¯re just two people after all!¡±


    AI explained, ¡°I currently have access to petaflops of computer calculation speed and I have run hundreds of simulations, with different permutations, in order to determine our survival rate. The results are clear. If he had revealed any information, Ronald would have mobilised over 200 members of his syndicate to find you, of which there was a zero percent survival rate.¡±


    Nadia went quiet and her face became worried.


    Michael announced out loud, ¡°It¡¯s time for a break. This has been a lot to take in already and we need some time to process it all. We will now break for roughly an hour.¡±


    The large screens changed to a single word: ¡°Recess¡±


    *


    The Price Paid


    The hour break passed, perhaps too quickly for most people''s liking. Slowly people walked back into the hall through the main entrance. Aisling and Nadia entered through their own separate doors at the back of the hall; these being their entrance and exits, an intentional security design by AI, to ensure the safety of the Rose leadership at all costs.


    As everyone quietly took their seats, the silence was eerie, but understandable. Michael and Oliver together were the last to enter, Oliver having returned from his unfavourable task.


    Michael¡¯s arms were folded and his face was serious, ¡°So it¡¯s done? Did you encounter any difficulties?¡±


    Oliver responded, staring a million miles away, ¡°It¡¯s done Michael. He didn¡¯t ask why nor did he object at all¡­ He just sat there, rocking back and forth in pain. It only took a moment before the pain went away and he just collapsed on the couch. I gave him enough to last at least 5 more hours.¡±


    Michael¡¯s face dropped. This was the sad result of the greatest sacrifice Michael had ever known¡­ A man so debilitated by pain, he¡¯d seemingly lost touch with reality. Michael bolstered as he reminded himself that the shadow of ignorance was now over. He¡¯d told them the ¡®what¡¯, now it was time he made it clear on the significance of the ¡®why¡¯.


    Michael gestured for Oliver to take his seat, ¡°Be seated Oliver, my friend¡­ And try to ignore the current gloomy atmosphere¡­ For it¡¯s likely to get far worse in a moment.¡±


    Oliver nodded. He was aware of all that had been said as AI had relayed the audio of the meeting through his earpiece as he administered the drug to Andrew. Oliver knew that there was still much left to say as he took his seat and waited.


    Michael walked back to the centre of the circular hall. He quickly realised he didn¡¯t need to ask for silence, for it was already depressingly present.


    He spoke loudly, ¡°Inner Roses, I must apologise to you now. For as much as this is going to be deeply painful to listen to¡­ I must give you more details of Andrews torture¡±. There was an audible sound of people breathing out in disbelief.


    ¡°Andrew¡¯s multiple weeks of hell is the most important action ever made in this organisation''s history. I must ensure his sacrifice is fully realised, known and honoured. By the time we leave this hall today, you will truly know the importance of Andrew''s silence.¡±


    ¡°AI, please form a list, sequentially, of every torturous act recorded by that phone in the basement and every thing Andrew has since made known to us over that three and a half week period.¡±


    The screen filled with a bullet list. There were eight horrendous acts listed. It took several moments for people to process its length, for It was impossible to believe. Their eyes glanced at every bullet point, their minds fruitlessly attempting to visualise them¡­ It was hopeless.


    That list disappeared to be replaced with a second list itemising a further six monstrous acts. It was then that a huge reaction swept across the hall. Absolute shock¡­ Absolute disbelief.


    Suddenly, a single sound dominated everyone''s attention. It was Aisling¡­ She had fallen apart at that moment. Her sobbing echoed through the speakers of the hall, a hall that until this point, had been a place of heroic celebration. A place of triumph, a place of sanctuary. The biggest smile that the world had depended on to give them hope, was now replaced with Aisling¡¯s sobbing.


    Nadia was badly shaken as she had her arm around Aisling, embracing her in a hug. She was gently rocking her, ¡°Shh, it¡¯s all passed now¡±, she whispered.


    Michael looked down at the floor in shame, for he never thought he would be the one who would make the brightest star fade so dimly. Aisling was the hope of the Roses, the light in the darkness. She was the one who told the world ¡°We can do it.¡±


    One could feel the overall mood drop off a cliff. People depended on Aisling for her optimism and her smile. There was a vacuum now and the discomfort was palpable. Michael loudly cleared his throat, regaining everybody''s attention.


    ¡°Forgive me Aisling¡±, Michael said regretfully.


    Aisling shook her head, continuing to cry. There was nothing he could say, he had to continue as they only had this session to explain everything.


    Michael gave himself another moment, his arms crossed as he thought carefully on how to articulate his next point. He shook his head as he realised how difficult a job this was going to be. This next point was subtle, yet he had to make it obvious.


    ¡°It¡¯s important that I explain Andrew''s motivation. You see, Andrew is more than anyone might assume. He is the pinnacle of human determination. He has greatness inside himself. He is the very image of strength of will.¡±


    ¡°He knew from that point in the video I showed you earlier, in the basement, what was on the line. There and then he realised what was at stake. He was not ignorant of the consequences of failing to withhold the information.¡±


    Nadia spoke softly. ¡°How do you know that though?¡±


    Michael gently answered, ¡°Because he told me¡­ He told us four.¡±


    A moment passed and Michael swallowed hard. This was the hardest part for him, personally.


    ¡°After we found and recovered him, Andrew was transported to a nearby private hospital for operation. He nearly died three times while being operated on as they used the defibrillator three times on him to resuscitate him. Andrew was dancing on a needle tip. It¡¯s a miracle the surgeons managed to save him, considering the unimaginable blood loss.¡±


    ¡°The surgery took 4 hours. He was bleeding out, dehydrated and starved. There was so little left of Andrew¡­ It made the surgery even more difficult¡­ They went through a shocking amount of blood bags to save him.¡±


    ¡°After the operation, we waited for him to wake. James Hull, Oliver, AI and myself. We simply waited there hoping we could get some answers. An hour passed after the surgery before Andrew stirred.¡±


    Michael already hated talking about this part. It was the most important moment of his life¡­ He decided it was better shown than described.


    ¡°AI, please play the video of that night¡±, he politely requested.


    The large screens instantly started playing the video. AI seemed to have this one ready.


    *


    Andrew¡¯s Tale


    The video showed the hospital ward room. Andrew lay in the hospital bed, with three people standing at different positions around the bed. Oliver leaned on the bed frame, looking down at Andrew.


    The image of Andrew was nightmarish. Blood was still visible, on both arms and his face. There were multiple tubes plugged into his arms, hydrating him and giving him still more blood. His face was so battered and bruised, it sadly looked like a lumpy mess.


    The noise of his heartbeat was concerning. It was a worryingly slow beep on the EKG. It was stable though¡­ He was definitely still alive, whatever part of him still remained at least.


    Michael leaned back on the wall adjacent to the door, his eyes were closed. He had his earpiece microphone/speaker in his ear, it looked similar to what a secret service agent would use. Michael used that back then, to talk to AI at all times.


    Agent James Hull stood at the bottom of the bed, his arms were crossed as he simply stared at Andrew in the bed. He shook his head in disgust, at the violence done to Andrew.


    There was a large tablet placed on the bed table, facing Andrew. That was AI¡¯s presence in the room, as anything AI needed to say, would be said through that tablet.


    James quietly spoke, ¡°We still don¡¯t know who this is though. Police and swat are sweeping the house and the basement, trying to get us answers. God only knows why they did this, to this poor person.¡± James shook his head quicker and more aggressively, for he was clearly in shock.


    AI spoke from the tablet, ¡°I have my suspicions of who this is. They may be a person I have been actively searching for weeks for. His hair colour matches and the height matches, but until he speaks, I have no definitive identification to prove it.¡±


    Half a minute passed. The EKG suddenly beeped twice as fast as it had before; Andrew had finally regained consciousness. He concentrated on trying to breathe in deeply, but the pain stopped him midway, instead resulting in a whimper. He tried a few more times, but his body simply couldn¡¯t do it.


    Everyone suddenly looked at him, they glanced at the EKG and back. Trying to confirm his state wasn¡¯t getting worse, Michael quickly moved over to the emergency button, prepared to hit it if the situation went poorly.


    Oliver slightly crouched himself down, so that he was face to face with the man in the bed. Andrew''s eyes slowly opened, which was hard to see since his face was so battered. Becoming aware, he slowly and painfully moved his head to face Oliver.


    Andrew spent a moment looking over Oliver, then he looked away, glancing at Michael and then James. He kept looking around, trying to make sense of his surroundings. From his perspective, one moment he was looking into the eyes of a monster¡­ Then he was here. It was a sudden change.


    Oliver carefully chose his words, ¡°Hi, my name is Oliver, I''m a psychologist and I''m here to help you get through this horrible situation. You¡¯ve been through¡­ A lot. We want to help you as much as possible, but we need to ask you some questions, please¡­¡±


    Andrew wriggled his body a bit, clearly trying to move more decidedly, but pain instantly stopped him. The beeps went faster, but still not too quick a pace to push the emergency button.


    Andrew slowly asked, ¡°Is this¡­ Real?¡±


    His voice sounded dumb, his missing teeth betrayed his normal talking style. Andrew glanced around again intensely.


    ¡°If this is real¡­ Are they safe?¡± He questioned.


    Oliver softly queried, ¡°Who are you talking about? Who is safe?¡± He tried not to speak in a tone that might generate panic.


    ¡°The¡­ Angels¡­¡±


    AI was listening from the tablet and it quickly did a search for the term ¡°Angels¡± in it¡¯s records. A result turned up, it was a video recording from Aisling and Nadia¡¯s tablet weeks ago. It was at the train station, at the end of the day when they were saying goodbye to Andrew.


    Andrew stood at the platform, the train was rolling into place, people were approaching the edge of the platform to get on.


    Andrew looked at the two girls with an excited smile, ¡°It was a pleasure saving the world with you two angels, I hope I get to do it again some day.¡±


    AI then knew with complete confidence that this was Andrew Smith.


    ¡°Andrew Smith¡±, AI announced from the tablet.


    ¡°He¡¯s the one I¡¯ve been searching for.¡±


    The three all quickly looked at the tablet. Now they knew who they were talking to. This made things easier.


    ¡°Andrew¡±, Oliver said gently. ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure to meet you¡±.


    Andrew ignored him entirely as he looked intensely at the tablet.


    ¡°... Tablet?¡±, he mumbled.


    ¡°Is that you?¡±


    Andrew raised his voice, ¡°Are they safe?!¡±


    ¡°Yes, the angels are safe¡±, AI responded.


    The EKG slowed momentarily but then started beeping at a faster rate as Andrew breathed faster and faster. He had clearly realised something of urgency.


    ¡°Don¡¯t tell them.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t tell them what?¡±, AI questioned.


    ¡°Don¡¯t tell them¡­ About me¡±. Tears started streaming down his face.


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°They are the hope and the dream¡­ I don¡¯t know if any of this is real, but if it is¡­ Don¡¯t tell them about me.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand your logic¡±, AI admitted.


    ¡°If the angels find out¡­ They will become hopeless. The hope in their eyes, the light in their smile¡­ Will fade¡±, Andrew slowly struggled to get the words out.


    ¡°They will blame themselves¡­ As they fall into anger and despair. They need¡­ To remain ignorant.¡±


    Andrew shouted, ¡°Keep them smiling!... Or else everything I did was for nothing!¡±


    Andrew stopped talking for a moment as he struggled to breath. He finally managed to catch his breath.


    ¡°Promise me¡±, he quietly asked. ¡°Promise me you won¡¯t let them know about me¡­ Not yet¡±, he implored.


    A silent moment passed. Michael stepped away from the button and looked at Andrew for a few moments, as he made up his mind.


    ¡°I promise¡±, Michael said assuredly.


    Oliver and James swung their heads to face Michael. They scrutinised his face for a moment¡­ Michael clearly meant it.


    Oliver looked to the floor, his mind thinking as quickly as it could. After a few seconds he realised¡­ Gut feeling, Andrew was right.


    ¡°I promise¡±, Oliver firmly said.


    As James stared at Andrew, he couldn¡¯t stop shaking his head. Emotions of sympathy clouded his mind¡­ The injustice of what happened to Andrew, still flooded his thoughts.


    ¡°I promise¡­ But it will be a hard promise to keep¡±, he finally said.


    All heads faced the tablet. The question became¡­ Would a computer AI make a promise?


    They weren¡¯t aware of just how hard AI was thinking at that moment. Hundreds of servers across the globe heated, as AI used its cloud brain to make this decision. At the end of its 3 seconds of intense thought, the camera on the tablet looked at Andrews'' messed up face¡­ It saw the tears streaming down.


    This is something it could not decide on its own, by its very nature. Yet a decision had to be made. AI decided, if three humans all agreed, then the truth was obvious.


    ¡°I promise.¡± AI said loudly.


    Everyone breathed out, Andrew included. Relief was found by consensus.


    Michael asked AI, ¡°Where are the two now?¡±


    AI quickly responded, ¡°They are on route to this room, they just came through the hospital main entrance.¡±


    Michael rushed to the door, swung it open, exited the room and quickly shut the door behind him. In the video, the camera changed to the hospital passageway. It showed Michael closing the door at the end of the corridor and walking quickly down it. Michael made the turn, nearly colliding with Aisling and Nadia.


    Nadia took a step back, ¡°Oh! Michael, easy there!¡±


    Aisling joked, ¡°You almost ran us over.¡±


    Michael looked them in the eyes, he had to be convincing, things had to seem totally non urgent. He allowed Aisling¡¯s smile and laughter to lighten his mood.


    ¡°Come on ladies, you know me! When I need to get somewhere, people ought to get out of my way!¡±, Michael joked as he gave them a confident wink. Aisling and Nadia both blushed. It was hard for any lady to ignore Michael when he turned on his charm.


    Aisling spoke, ¡°We came as quickly as we could, apparently they rescued a person from the raid. We thought we should come and cheer them up¡±, her honestly reflected in her dazzling smile.


    Nadia spoke calmly, ¡°It¡¯s only fair, since the Roses instigated the raid, we leadership should meet the victim.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, well it will be hard to do that, considering they are completely unconscious¡±, Michael informed.


    Aisling became frustrated, ¡°What? AI said the person was awake, that¡¯s why we came!¡±


    Michael casually lied, ¡°Nope, that¡¯s definitely not the case. It seemed like they were awake, but they were actually just sleep-talking or something. The person¡¯s in a bit of a rough state, so they¡¯re definitely not going to wake up anytime soon. Sorry you wasted your time.¡±


    ¡°Aww¡±, Aisling seemed disappointed. It was a great reason to stop looking at paperwork and get some fresh air.


    Nadia nodded, ¡°Ok, well, when they wake up, tell them to call us, AI will arrange it no doubt. We look forward to meeting them and helping them as much as possible.¡±


    Michael reassured them, ¡°Of course, AI will handle that, don¡¯t worry.¡±


    The two turned around and walked back down the hall. As Michael stood there, watching them walk away, he fully appreciated what Andrew said.


    ¡°Angels should always be smiling¡±, he quietly said to himself, before he turned around and walked back to the room.


    The camera changed back to the patient ward room. Andrew was still catching his breath, every breath, a tiny whimper of pain. Although he was under the effects of strong painkillers, his body was subconsciously reacting to the pain he was numbed to.


    The door opened, Michael was back. He instantly shut the door behind him as he looked at Oliver and James.


    Michael quickly stated, ¡°They¡¯re gone, they don¡¯t know a thing.¡±


    Oliver asked urgently, ¡°You¡¯re certain they¡¯re not suspicious?¡±


    ¡°Yes, completely certain, don¡¯t worry about it.¡±


    Andrew heard Michael and the EKG audibly slowed down and his breathing slowed a little too. Andrew''s panic was gone, now that his important request was fulfilled.


    Oliver started speaking, ¡°Andrew.¡±


    He asked quietly, ¡°Can you please tell us what happened? We don¡¯t know what happened to you¡­¡±


    Andrew looked up at the ceiling for his mind was still largely compromised. He debated with himself for a moment, whether he should even tell anyone what happened.


    ¡°You won¡¯t believe me.¡±


    Oliver smiled weakly, ¡°Don¡¯t worry about if we believe you, just tell us. The truth always makes itself known.¡±


    Andrew took a few minutes before he finally started. His mind reeled as he tried to recall the darkness, the weeks in hell. When you spend that long suffering, time distorts. It¡¯s difficult to know what happened first or what happened last.


    ¡°They grabbed me at the train station car park. They choked me from behind¡­ I couldn¡¯t yell or make a noise. They injected something into me with a needle¡­ I woke up with a bag on my head.¡±


    Andrew stopped, for he had the image in his mind of what he saw then, the brown all around him, a lighter brown above him, where the ceiling light was. He recalled hearing his own breathing and the bag being hot and stuffy. His hands were tied tightly, as were his legs. Incredibly tight rope was choking the blood in his ankles.


    Andrew returned from thought. He glanced at Oliver as he realised he needed to carry on, they needed more information.


    He spoke slowly with terror in his voice, ¡°Then the Wolf came down the stairs.¡±


    ¡°He wanted me to tell him about the angels. He said if I told them, he would let me go.¡±


    ¡°I knew he meant it and I could tell he was honest about releasing me, but¡­¡±, he stopped.


    ¡°When I looked into the Wolf''s eyes, I saw the two beautiful, gorgeous, irreplaceable beaming lights¡­ Being snuffed. I saw dreams being shattered and hopelessness flooding the world.¡±


    Another tear slowly leaked from his eye. The beeping EKG slightly rose for a moment, then calmed down.


    ¡°I knew¡±, he slowly said.


    ¡°I knew that there was more at risk¡­ Than just me.¡±


    ¡°I knew¡­ If I told the wolf, everything would come crumbling down into ruin.¡±


    ¡°I was the gate¡­ That held back oblivion for the angels.¡±


    ¡°And I would not fail them¡±, Andrew said finally, as he looked back at the ceiling.


    The three were motionless as they listened to Andrew. The last sentence echoed in Michaels head.


    ¡°And I would not fail them¡±, it repeated again and again in his mind. Michael felt something he had never felt before, inferiority. For a moment, he felt the presence of an unimaginably strong will. Andrews'' powerful will snuffed any confidence Michael was feeling at that moment. All that was left was the feeling of doubt in Michaels mind.


    ¡°So then what?¡± Oliver asked, not wanting to know, but the answers needed to be told.


    Andrew started, ¡°They punched senseless¡­ I said to them, "I don''t know.¡± ¡±


    ¡°They then flooded my face with jugs of water upside down, I couldn¡¯t breathe, I drowned a few times¡­ I said I don¡¯t know¡±, the EKG slightly sped up.


    ¡°They beat me more, smacked the back of my head with something sharp, I was bleeding¡­ I said I don¡¯t know¡±, Andrew was staring a million miles away now.


    ¡°The hours passed, days went by, they stabbed me with forks¡­ I said I don¡¯t know¡±, Andrew¡¯s voice was rising.


    ¡°They¡­¡±


    Andrew cried for several moments as everyone felt a dark presence in the room. Things were about to get so much worse.


    Andrew finally resumed, ¡°They broke my fingers, one after the other¡­¡±


    ¡°They ripped out some of my teeth¡­¡±


    ¡°They didn¡¯t let me sleep, they didn¡¯t let me¡­ Relieve myself¡­¡±, Andrews tears continued to pour down his inflated bruised face.


    ¡°They mocked me, they beat me more¡­ I said I don¡¯t know.¡±


    Andrew stopped again. For many minutes, he lay there, looking at the ceiling, tears dripping down his cheeks.


    ¡°Then, it was dark and the light was off. I felt the presence of the wolf, he was looking at me in the darkness¡­ Waiting. I didn¡¯t know what was happening, but then¡­¡±, Andrew stopped for a second.


    ¡°The pain went away.¡±


    ¡°After an eternity of agony, I felt no pain at all¡­ I felt warm and calm.¡±


    Andrew paused again.


    Andrew¡¯s voice was gentle and reverent, ¡°Suddenly I was in a peaceful place. I was resting on soft grass, looking up at the night sky. The stars were shining so brilliantly.¡±


    ¡°My head was resting on one of the angels'' laps as they sat there, smiling at me. The other was softly stroking my hair. I felt normal, I felt whole¡±, Andrew looked at the ceiling peacefully.


    ¡°Then it happened¡­¡°


    ¡°One of the angels stopped stroking my hair and asked me ¡°Who are the girls?¡± Andrew slowly said, as tears began pouring again.


    ¡°It was not real¡­¡±, he said with anger in his voice.


    ¡°They drugged me¡­ And they tried to use my moment of peace, to get me to talk¡±, Andrew sobbed.


    Michael gasped loudly in disbelief. Oliver shed a few tears as he looked out the window. James had buried his face in his hands, he shook his head as his body shook in shock.


    Andrew quietly whispered, ¡°It wasn¡¯t long I had, but I enjoyed every second with the angels. It was my only break, my only rest¡­ But it didn¡¯t last long.¡±


    ¡°The pain slowly returned¡­¡±


    ¡°I watched as my angels turned to dust, their smiles crumbling away¡­¡±


    ¡°The stars disappeared and the grass burned¡­¡±


    ¡°Then I was back in hell again. The wolf was staring at me, face to face, fury building in his eyes...¡±


    Andrew loudly cried, ¡°I said I don¡¯t know!¡±


    Andrew stopped to catch his breath. The EKG beeped quickly, dangerously close to the maximum rate. They all stood still, their eyes wide open in horror. Nobody looked at anyone else.


    Andrew resumed the horror story, ¡°Then they connected plugs to my arms¡­¡±


    ¡°Electricity flooded me¡­ It was somehow worse than I had already felt¡­¡±


    ¡°I screamed in pain, but they had a car horn blowing whenever they zapped me¡­¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t even hear myself scream¡±, tears flooded Andrews face.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know!¡±, he loudly shouted.


    ¡°They took a sledgehammer and they¡­ My leg¡­¡±


    ¡°I DON¡¯T KNOW¡±, he shouted again.


    ¡°He took a rolling pin, and he smashed my ears¡­ I DON¡¯T KNOW.¡±


    ¡°The years passed, the pain never ended, I DON¡¯T KNOW.¡±


    Andrew stopped again. His breathing was very intense, the EKG beeping frantically. Several minutes passed, the beeping slowed a little. Everyone was shaking with fear as terror resonated within their bodies. This was a nightmare, infinitely worse than anyone could dream.


    Finally Andrew quietly spoke again.


    ¡°Then, I don¡¯t know when it was, the wolf was staring at me again. I could barely see him, something was blocking my view, my eyes were bruised and sore¡­¡±


    ¡°His rage and fury had reached maximum. He grabbed a knife and he screamed at me¡±, Andrew said fearingly.


    ¡°He yelled that I stole his everything. He swore at me, he blamed me for all his losses.¡±


    ¡°He swung the knife, not aiming at anything, he sliced my face twice, he cut my arms and my chest¡­¡±


    ¡°The bleeding, I was going to die¡­ Finally an end¡­ It was over.¡±


    Andrew stopped as he breathed a little.


    ¡°I heard loud noises upstairs. Yelling¡­ Banging¡­ My hearing¡­ It was hard to know what I heard. Then I lost consciousness¡­¡±


    Andrew''s eyes opened widely as he quickly glanced around, a realisation flooded him. The EKG sky rocketed, the beeping was intense. Michael rushed to hit the emergency button to call the nurses as Andrew was having a panic attack!


    He raised his voice, ¡°I feel warm and safe¡­ there is no pain again. Who are you?! How do I know this is real?¡±


    ¡°I could still be there right now, this could all be another lie¡­ MORE DRUGS?!¡±, Andrew''s body shook violently in panic.


    ¡°YOU¡¯RE DRUGGING ME AGAIN WOLF¡­ I DON¡¯T KNOW!¡±, His voice roared across the room. A nurse swung open the door and she looked at Andrew shaking in the bed.


    The nurse yelled out the door, ¡°Psychosis, patient is experiencing acute trauma, we need to sedate him!¡±.


    A second nurse rushed in, ¡°Stand aside!¡±, she shoved Oliver and Michael to the corners of the room.


    She quickly opened the top drawer, grabbing a tranquiliser. She popped the lid off and stabbed Andrew in the top right of his arm, squeezing the syringe.


    ¡°I DON¡¯T KNOW I DON¡¯T KNOW I DON¡¯T KNOW¡±, Andrew kept screaming, again and again.


    Then, his voice lowered and his words started to slur. The violent shaking stopped as Andrew shut down¡­ And his eyes finally closed. The beeping rapidly slowed down. It rested a little in the midrange and then settled at a slow rhythmic pace.


    The first nurse yelled at Oliver, ¡°What in God¡¯s name did you people do to him?! Jesus Christ, he almost suffered a heart attack!¡±


    Oliver was in a state of shock, he could barely process what the nurse said, let alone the situation that just happened. The nurse stared daggers at him for a few moments.


    ¡°Whatever led to this, don¡¯t ever do it again. I have a duty to protect my patients!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry¡±, Oliver managed to say. ¡°Forgive us¡­ Things were far worse than we realised.¡±


    The nurse looked at him a moment longer.


    Anger was deep in her voice, ¡°He will be unconscious for several hours, don¡¯t you dare try to wake him.¡±


    ¡°I will need you to leave shortly, the shaking has opened some of the stitches and we will need to restitch them¡±, she said looking at the blood slowly dripping from Andrews chest and arms.


    The two nurses left the room, shutting the door behind them. The three stood frozen in place, motionless and dead quiet.


    The video ended, and the large screens in the hall went black again.


    *


    Michaels Pain


    There was a deeply disturbing silence in the hall. This was understandable, for it was precisely the same reaction that the four in the room had. It was the only way one could react, for it was an immeasurable amount of suffering that people were just witness to.


    Michael stood in the centre of the hall crying. This was the key moment of his life, the very event that changed who he was¡­ And led to his personal investigation of Andrew Smith. After this night, his every spare moment was haunted by the question: ¡®Why didn¡¯t he just tell them?¡¯


    Moments passed without anyone saying anything. Aisling and Nadia were crying as they stared down at their table. It was as if they had just seen a tragically sad ghost. Every now and again they would sniff away their tears, but the tears always seemed to return.


    An important question was now answered. Why did Michael claim that Andrew did what he did, for the reasons that he did? Now there was no doubt about the answer to that question. The video proved Andrew''s motivation and reason.


    Michael waited, his hand covered his eyes to hide his tears. He needed to continue, but he was struggling to get a grip of himself.


    ¡°I¡­¡± he started, but his voice failed him. He gave himself another moment.


    ¡°He¡­¡± no success again.


    Aisling looked at Michael and read his body language. It was clear that Michael was emotionally compromised. He simply shook his head slowly, for at that moment his heart was a vinyl, stuck looping back and forth between the same tragic emotion.


    This was a difficult dilemma, for everyone understood why Michael was like this, however they knew not what they could do to remedy the situation. All they could do was wait.


    Oliver stood up and quickly jotted down the stairs, walking up to Michael. He gently hugged him and he relaxed his posture.


    ¡°Michael, I know this was so hard for you to experience again¡± Oliver said gently.


    ¡°This was what broke you for the first time in your life. It¡¯s ok to feel these intense emotions.¡±


    Michael started to sob. This was not the plan, he thought to himself, he was not supposed to break down. Everyone was watching this, the Inner Roses¡­ The whole world. He just simply couldn¡¯t grab back control.


    Michael finally managed to spit out the words, ¡°Why didn¡¯t he just tell them?¡± His body shook with emotional tremors.


    ¡°Shh, shh¡±, Oliver kept making the sound, trying to calm the heartbroken giant.


    ¡°It¡¯s over now, it¡¯s done¡±, Oliver quietly tried to reassure him.


    Oliver spoke hopefully, ¡°We have the chance now Michael¡­ We¡¯re finally out of the dark and in the light.¡±


    Michael shouted, ¡°Andrew is still there Oliver! He¡¯s still in the darkness¡­ Alone¡­ In pain¡±, he wept.


    ¡°After all he¡¯s done, if I can¡¯t get people to realise the price he paid, my greatest hero will be lost forever!¡±


    Oliver hugged Michael even tighter. He knew that Michael was finished, for there was no way he would be able to speak more about this. It was hard enough for him to speak of what he did.


    ¡°They know and realise this Michael, I see it in their eyes when I look around. You succeeded mate, they truly do see the truth¡±, Oliver said reassuringly.


    Nadia spoke, ¡°It¡¯s burned on to my heart¡­ I will never let myself forget this truth.¡±


    Aisling quietly spoke, ¡°I will never forget his sacrifice¡­ Ever.¡±

 Chapter 2

    Chapter 2


    Olivers Turn


    Oliver waited a spell with Michael until his tremors finally subsided and Michael came back to himself.


    Michael began, ¡°I¡¯m so sorry-¡±, but Oliver instantly waved that sentence away.


    Oliver smiled, ¡°None of that mate.¡±


    Michael stood tall, his six foot and 7 inches of impressive height, towered over Oliver. Michael looked down to the floor in shame.


    Oliver snapped his finger in Michaels cone of vision, getting his attention.


    ¡°You have done your duty flawlessly as always Michael. You always manage to carry out perfection in the work you do.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve completed your part of this, now let me begin mine.¡±


    Oliver escorted Michael to his seat near the middle of the hall where he sat down next to the other agents. Michael never made eye contact with them out of shame, however If he had though, he would have seen the respect and admiration they had as they looked at him. Michael was the best ranked agent in the Roses. He was a legend, an inspiration and the poster boy of the hands of The Roses.


    Oliver positioned himself at the centre of the hall. Now he was the centre of attention and he was the one telling more of this tale.


    ¡°Ladies and gentlemen, please do show Michael your patience and understanding. Although he is an outstandingly accomplished agent in our organisation and even though he is a hero to many¡­¡±, Oliver stopped for a moment.


    He spoke gently, ¡°Michael has dedicated his entirety to the truth of Andrew Smith.¡±


    ¡°His priceless research and unshakable loyalty to Andrew''s cause is undeniable. He gave his heart and soul to this purpose and all I ask is that you all understand his perspective. It¡¯s been difficult for him to keep this secret¡­ He has made truly difficult choices, in order to maintain his promise.¡±


    Oliver stared into the distance, ¡°All four of us did¡­¡±


    He snapped back into focus as he stood on his heels for a second, pipping himself up. Now he was ready.


    His tone was quick and polite, ¡°So let me take this moment, if you would be so kind, to quickly summarise this entire drama, so that we are all completely on the same page.¡±


    ¡°In the beginning, Aisling and Nadia met Andrew.¡±


    ¡°He helped them throughout that day, yet one of the key things he did during that day was assist in the arrest of Gerald Bruige, Ronald Bruiges son.¡±


    ¡°At the end of that day, the two managed to inspire Andrew with their vision of a hopeful future.¡±


    ¡°Andrew was kidnapped by the Bruiges and Ronald began interrogating him to get information about the Roses, as revenge for his son being jailed.¡±


    ¡°Gerald was murdered in prison on the first day, which in turn sent Ronald into a blind rage. This rage was then unfortunately aimed towards Andrew, as he was tortured for three and a half weeks. The torture progressively got worse, as Ronalds desperation for vengeance grew.¡±


    Oliver paused, ¡°Perhaps the tale of his rescue would be of relevance¡±, he said, slowly rubbing his chin.


    Nadia perked up, her face still moulded with sadness, ¡°Why did it take so long to find and rescue him?¡±


    AI responded: ¡°It was not due to a lack of trying Nadia. After the day you spent with Andrew, I attempted to contact him again. I found his social media page and messaged him to pursue further collaboration, however he never responded. I managed to find his mobile device, but I was unable to access it as the pin code was too complex for me to brute force at that stage. It unfortunately took me weeks to gain access to cloud servers to help me break into his phone account. When I finally got access, I used his device''s location history to track down the general area he was last reported at. I then managed to correlate noise complaints of car horns blaring throughout the day, with Andrew''s potential location.¡±


    On the large screen, a map showed the blue circle where Andrew''s phone was last detected.


    ¡°I made an official police report about a potential kidnapping and provided all the evidence to support my hypothesis. The police decided it was probably a safehouse for the Bruiges and as such they warranted a Specialist Firearms Command team to raid the structure. I arranged for agent James Hull and Michael Campbell to join the team as they both had the necessary military and weapons training.¡±


    Aisling was shocked, ¡°So you simply couldn¡¯t crack his phone to find him? That¡¯s why he suffered for weeks?¡±


    AI politely responded, ¡°Unfortunately, yes.¡±


    Both Nadia and Aisling breathed out loudly while looking up to the ceiling. It was not the most satisfactory reason, but reality was often fickle with such small details.


    Oliver resumed the tale, ¡°Michael and James were tasked with the basement sweep. They discovered Andrew, tied to his chair after Ronald had just sliced him horrifically with a knife. James subdued and arrested Ronald, while Michael rescued Andrew.¡±


    Oliver paused while he tried to form the most flattering description for Andrews state at the time.


    ¡°Andrew was in a desperate state.¡±


    ¡°He was dehydrated, malnourished and was bleeding acutely.¡±


    ¡°Michael immediately summoned the medics, as the gunfire upstairs had subsided.¡±


    ¡°They rushed down with a stretcher and as they lifted Andrew''s body onto it, their quick assessment was grave.¡±


    ¡°Andrew was on the verge of dying and an immediate operation would be needed to have a chance of saving his life.¡±


    ¡°Unfortunately, AI was already aware of a massive problem¡­¡±


    ¡°The local NHS hospital was over capacity. All operating theatres were currently in use.¡±


    ¡°So AI quickly arranged for a nearby private hospital to accept Andrew. Agents were dispatched around the region to collect and deliver any additional medical equipment needed for Andrews operation.¡±


    ¡°As this was happening, the medics discovered additional physical stabs and bleeding, as such the time frame to save his life dropped by half.¡±


    ¡°AI chartered a private helicopter, which landed nearby to transport Andrew, accompanied by both Michael and James to the nearby private hospital.¡±


    ¡°Andrew arrived within 3 minutes and they began operating almost immediately.¡±


    Oliver grimley stated, ¡°The operation took 4 hours because there were complications due to infections of week-long cuts and stabs.¡±


    Oliver looked at the floor sadly, ¡°Andrew nearly died three times over the 4 hour period, he required multiple resuscitations to restore his heart activity.¡±


    Oliver went quiet for a few moments, for a lot was said in the last few minutes and it felt fair to give the hall a second to breathe.


    Oliver finally stated with a weak smile on his face, ¡°Thankfully, it was a success. Owing to the near instant decision making of AI, Andrew lived.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve all watched the video showing the moment he woke up where he was still under the influence of strong pain medicine¡±, Oliver stared into the distance again.


    ¡°His medicated state didn¡¯t mean Andrew¡¯s logical assessment was flawed, unfortunately. He made us promise him not to reveal his presence, however we agreed because his argument was correct, not because we felt sorry for him.¡±


    Oliver said slowly, ¡°If telling the Roses about Andrew, meant compromising their ability to lead this organisation¡­ Then it wasn¡¯t a choice at all.¡±, his voice was sad and regretful.


    Aisling looked up from her table again, her tears had dried but she was still emotionally destroyed. She spent a moment thinking about how she wanted to object to this point. She wanted to claim you¡¯re wrong, I would have been fine¡­ Yet she was aware of her current state. Her mind was clouded with darkness, sympathy, regret and heartbreak. How would she really have handled being told about Andrew back then?


    The truth is that she wouldn¡¯t have handled it at all, she couldn¡¯t even handle it now. Nadia was stronger than her, so there was a small chance she might have managed to stomach the grim news. However, the truth is the two of them act as one person. After all, hope has no footing without vision. Even if Nadia coped, she wouldn¡¯t have been able to share her vision of what good the Roses were capable of, because Aisling would be too depressed to inspire people and rally them under the banner.


    Andrew was right, Aisling thought. He understood her in just a day and he realised how fragile her heart was. Andrew had acted wisely, more than many might know.


    *


    Andrews Aftermath


    Oliver stood for a few moments, motionlessly. He rubbed his chin as he thought about what to say next.


    Oliver spoke loudly and clearly as he looked around the hall, ¡°Right, that covers everything up to that point. I feel confident that everyone is up to speed now and we can move on to talk about Andrew after his operation now.¡±


    ¡°From the moment Andrew¡¯s surgery was a success, AI had assigned me as Andrew¡¯s carer, on behalf of the Roses. My qualifications in psychology were vital for the uniquely difficult case that Andrew fell into.¡±


    ¡°After Andrew awoke and revealed the nature of what occurred¡­¡±


    Oliver became sad, ¡°I became the only person he would see or interact with for many many months.¡±


    ¡°The nature of keeping him secret, meant that as few people associated with the Roses as possible, were to be aware of his existence.¡±


    ¡°I became both his therapist, nurse, doctor and carer.¡±


    ¡°I have given my all to support Andrew¡±, he said slowly as he went deep into thought.


    ¡°I have spoken a lot with the man and I know him better than most.¡±


    ¡°His fears, his scars, his pain, his dreams, his hopes and his loneliness.¡±


    ¡°That is why only I can tell you about who Andrew is now.¡±


    Oliver stopped talking for a few moments as he looked around the hall. He was about to start listing the damages Andrew¡¯s body went through, but then he decided that something else must be said first.


    He spoke carefully, ¡°I want to tell you something first and foremost¡±, Oliver''s body posture rose, his shoulders raised and he felt pride as he continued speaking.


    ¡°Michael tried to express this critical point before and the more astute of you might have picked up on it.¡±


    He smiled brilliantly, ¡°Andrew is genuinely remarkable and absolutely incredible.¡±


    ¡°Every decision he has made¡­ Every consequence he is currently suffering¡­ All of it reflects his brilliantly indomitable strength of will and his genuine hope for this organisation.¡±


    ¡°Every second of agonising pain he suffered he did so determinantly. Every tear he shed, he shed intentionally so that we in the Roses can bring smiles to many.¡±


    ¡°He is the mightiest man I will ever know. He outdanced the devil¡­ He stared into the abyss and made the abyss look away. He endured the agony of torture, then he endured the misery of regaining control of his body and now¡­¡±, Olivers voice broke.


    He slightly squirmed a little, as he bobbed about a little. He was struggling to hold back tears. A moment passed and he gave up.


    He cried out, ¡°And now he endures the agony of loneliness and obscurity.¡±


    He breathed heavily for a minute as he tried to regain control of himself. Finally he snapped back into focus, as he slightly shook his head, he resumed.


    ¡°He did everything we have mentioned and everything I will soon mention, because he is incredible. He is a hero, a legend and if we play our cards right¡­ Hopefully we can save him from himself.¡±


    *


    He paused as he walked to his seat to get his water bottle. Already his voice was going dry and he had barely begun.


    Aisling took the opportunity during the pause, ¡°Is he really that bad at the moment, Oliver? You mentioned suicide earlier¡­¡±, she stopped talking out of discomfort of the topic.


    Oliver walked back to the centre hall, bottle in hand. He put the bottle down a metre away, ensuring he wouldn¡¯t accidentally kick it as he moved around talking. He folded his arms as he looked at Aisling.


    He responded slowly with a tragically sad face, ¡°Yes, he is currently at the end of his tether.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t judge him just yet, for you know not what he has endured. You can¡¯t fathom the pain he deals with on a constant basis.¡±


    ¡°In order to understand where he is now, I must tell you how he was.¡± He stood tall, it was time for more information.


    ¡°Andrew''s body after his life saving surgery¡­ Was probably worse than it was before it¡±, he said grimly.


    ¡°He was critically malnourished, dehydrated and his body had so many wounds to mend, he was constantly exhausted.¡±


    ¡°Days after Andrew first became conscious, he was alternating between falling asleep and waking up in agony¡±, he shook a little as he recalled watching Andrew awake screaming in pain.


    ¡°The pain medicine helped his body relax and repair itself, however that would make him fall asleep. When he was asleep, we would reduce the medicine, for you see the medicine is very potent, but if overused, he would form an addiction to it. Over hours, as the medication would wear off and the pain would build and build until it would wake him from sleep.¡±


    Oliver shook his head for a few moments.


    ¡°If I may please be selfish for a brief moment¡±, he kindly said.


    ¡°This was extremely hard for me to witness¡±, he said as a tear fell.


    ¡°Many nights I woke up next to him¡­ The pain had him screaming in agony.¡±


    ¡°I was so afraid for him¡­ I would then turn on the drip feed as his roars of pain echoed for minutes¡­ Minutes that felt like hours¡±, he was shaking as he recalled it.


    Oliver stopped again, for he needed to let the fear escape him and a few moments later it did.


    ¡°It took roughly four days and nights for Andrew''s body to regain basic control of itself. He eventually stopped bleeding periodically from the countless stitches dotted across his upper half. The hardest part was the infection from the fork stabs. During the torture, when they burned parts of his arms, they burned the previous fork stabs. This was the infection vector¡±, he coldly stated.


    Across the hall many people recoiled in horror. It¡¯s still an impossibly horrific event to fathom.


    ¡°It took four days before the inflammation on his face healed. His face was black and blue from the beatings for over a week however as his body was prioritising mending critical wounds above basic bruises and scrapes¡±.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t speak with Andrew the first week but he was aware of my presence¡±, he said with a million mile stare.


    ¡°Sometimes there were moments when he was conscious, looking at the ceiling and crying. Those moments were when he was sort of in the middle of his two phases. The pain killing was beginning to take effect, but it wasn¡¯t so intense to make him groggy from sleepiness¡±, he quietly said.


    ¡°I first thought it was the pain that made him cry, but then I realised it was something else.¡±


    ¡°It was only in the second week when Andrew finally started to talk when he was lucid¡±, he calmly said.


    ¡°Andrew was in that twilight of painkillers, when I asked him why he was crying¡±, Oliver stopped again, for it was too difficult to keep talking.


    AI spoke, ¡°Oliver, shall I show them that moment?¡±


    Oliver nodded most agreeably, ¡°Yes please AI, it¡¯s easier this way.¡±


    The large screens in the hall went from black straight to playing the video.


    *


    Andrews Worry


    The video showed the same hospital ward room that the previous video was in.


    It was dark outside, the clock showed 02:43 AM. Oliver was sitting on a small stool at the right of Andrew''s bed, holding on to the bed side rail. Andrew was lying on his back, his arms were out of the blanket, they were scarred with horrid dark red marks and cuts all over.


    Andrew''s breathing was slow and laboured as his eyes darted across the ceiling, he thought to himself as tears slowly dripped down his face.


    Oliver quietly whispered with concern, ¡°Andrew.¡±


    ¡°Andrew, you¡¯re crying.¡±


    Andrew slowly turned his eyes to Oliver, his dark bruised eyes were full of sadness. Andrew gulped as he finally spoke.


    Slowly he asked, ¡°Am I ever going to get out of this bed?¡± His voice was still slightly slurred due to the lack of teeth.


    Oliver looked away for a second out the window. Then he looked back at Andrew, trying to show a strong face.


    ¡°I hope so¡±, Oliver finally answered.


    Andrew looked away as he painfully chuckled, ¡°Hope¡­ How ironic.¡±


    Oliver looked into Andrew''s eyes, trying to discern his meaning.


    Oliver asked curiously, ¡°What¡¯s ironic about hope, Andrew?¡±


    He looked Oliver in the eye, ¡°Hope is the reason I am here in the first place.¡±


    He broke eye contact as he looked back at the ceiling, ¡°Now hope is my only way out.¡±


    Oliver quickly responded, trying to cheer him up, ¡°Your body is having a hard time recovering, but there is a chance you will heal.¡±


    Andrew was whispering, ¡°Hope¡­¡±


    ¡°Hope was my shield against the Wolf.¡±


    ¡°Hope works wonders against fear as it blinds doubt.¡±


    ¡°But my body is not an enemy and hope is not the tool I need to save myself.¡±


    Oliver looked at Andrew concerningly as he whispered back, ¡°What do you think will save you?¡±


    He responded slowly, ¡°I need vision.¡±


    ¡°Vision? In what way?¡±


    ¡°If you can¡¯t see your destination, how can you ever hope to navigate towards it?¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ How can I help you get this vision Andrew?¡±


    Andrew waited a long moment, deep in thought.


    He finally spoke, ¡°I need you to tell me the truth, as a doctor.¡±


    ¡°I need you to tell me¡­ If my body can actually heal this, or if the damage is too grim.¡±


    Oliver nodded as he now understood what he was asking. It was a question relating to futility. Oliver looked over Andrew''s body for a long while, deep in thought. He had memorised the medical breakdowns, detailing the extensive trauma his muscles, skin and nerves underwent.


    After a few minutes of intense thought, Oliver made an assessment.


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    Andrew responded immediately, ¡°Yes¡­ What?¡±


    ¡°Yes, you can get out of this bed.¡±


    ¡°It won¡¯t be easy and there are still questions around your nerve damage, Andrew.¡±


    Andrew''s tears flowed faster, ¡°So it will hurt?¡±


    ¡°... Yes, incredibly so, I''m afraid. The question is not if you can leave this bed one day, it¡¯s whether you will.¡±, Oliver concluded.


    It was at that moment that Andrew turned his head to Oliver and looked him in the eyes. His face showed a powerful look, a look of absolute certainty and determination. Andrew''s cold green eyes practically sparkled.


    ¡°Then it¡¯s a promise¡±, Andrew said, as he looked back at the ceiling, the painkillers finally knocking him to sleep.


    *


    The large screens in the hall went black and Oliver immediately resumed talking.


    He smiled, ¡°There was your first taste of Andrew''s strength of will.¡±


    ¡°I have been blessed multiple times with the privilege of seeing that look on his face.¡±


    Oliver flashed a smile at Michael. Michael was also smiling, watching that video gave him his second wind.


    ¡°This is the man we need to save ladies and gentlemen. He is the priceless resource we cannot afford to lose.¡±


    Oliver chuckled, ¡°It¡¯s of particular interest, to me at least, that Andrew knew and referenced the very virtues this organisation is run on.¡±


    He reverently stated, ¡°Hope and vision.¡±


    Michael responded loudly, ¡°Aisling and Nadia.¡±


    Both Aisling and Nadia looked up at that moment. One could see that the two of them had not considered Andrew''s words in this context.


    Michael beamed a smile at the two Roses., ¡°He sussed you two out flawlessly, didn¡¯t he?¡±


    ¡°And all in the span of one single day as well¡±, Oliver added.


    Nadia gave a weak smile, Aisling simply looked back down at her desk. Oliver had a drink of water and then proceeded to speak again.


    ¡°The third week in, Andrew was finally showing signs of mending. His scars were becoming less red and more pink and his face reflected his body becoming more nourished again. In terms of his physical injuries, things were looking considerably better.¡±


    ¡°Unfortunately, things were still very difficult for Andrew¡±, Oliver stared into space again.


    He slowly whispered, ¡°The pain¡­¡±


    ¡°The pain did not ease at all. From the day he awoke in the hospital to talk with us, till this very day¡­ The pain has constantly battered him.¡±


    ¡°My initial assessment was that the pain was acute because his nervous system was overloaded. I assumed over several weeks, the pain would ease as his nerves would repair themselves¡±, he clinically stated.


    His eyes went down to the floor, ¡°They did not.¡±


    ¡°They did not ease after weeks.¡±


    ¡°They did not ease even after a couple of months.¡±


    ¡°I had him do multiple MRI¡¯s and Ultrasounds¡­ The results showed the nerves were no longer damaged¡±, he said in a thoughtful tone.


    ¡°I know the reason now, and I will get to that I promise, but not now though¡±, he waved his hand.


    Oliver paused for a moment, for deep down, he wanted to scream the truth of why he still hurt¡­ but it was not time.


    ¡°Everything is constantly difficult for Andrew.¡±


    ¡°Breathing hurts, moving his arms hurts and even looking around hurts.¡±


    ¡°He is constantly swimming in a sea of agony as the effort to do anything is exhausting.¡±


    He frowned, ¡°In the fourth week, he was medically warranted to leave the ward. I signed him out and we got him on a wheelchair.¡±


    ¡°At first, he was over the moon to be out of that bed¡±, Oliver looked down to the floor.


    ¡°At first at least¡­¡±


    ¡°I consulted with AI, as I felt it would be best for Andrew''s mental health, if he were to escape the prison of a hospital and instead be somewhere lovely. A place where he could heal and find peace.¡±


    ¡°We took Andrew to a beautiful beachside mansion in Cornwall. It was away from the city, so there was no hustle and bustle from holiday goers and tourists. I have to say, it was a true luxury staying there, my thanks to Mr. Crowley for hosting us those several months¡±, Oliver bowed towards Mr. Crowley, who was sitting at the back row, right side of the hall.


    Alex Crowley was the financier for the Roses. He was the first investor in the two Roses when the two started trying to get funds. His investment was repaid in weeks, and even though their debt was clear, the Roses convinced him to join the organisation after several months. He was remarkably good with money. He accepted and so now he coordinates all expenses and spendings with AI. Mr. Crowley is now a member of the Inner Roses.


    Oliver resumed the tale, ¡°The fresh air and gorgeous coastal scenery definitely aided in de stressing both Andrew and I.¡±


    ¡°The first weeks were unfortunately the hardest after the move¡±, he said glumly.


    ¡°Andrew was concerned about the pain medication he was still having to take.¡±


    ¡°It had been nearly two months, and he still couldn¡¯t sleep without the painkillers.¡±


    AI chirped in, ¡°Should I show them that evening?¡± Oliver stopped to think, for it was an intense argument he and Andrew had. However, it was indeed a crucial moment.


    He finally responded quietly, ¡°Yes please, AI.¡±


    AI gently mentioned, ¡°You must not spare people from the painful moments, Oliver.¡±


    ¡°I know, I know¡­¡±


    The screens began playing the video.


    *


    These pills are so heavy


    The video showed a large living room with white leather sofas around a fairly large, circular glass coffee table.


    Andrew was sitting at the end of the long sofa, his wheelchair parked next to the sofa''s armrest. His legs were together and his arms were postured in a self hug as he slightly rocked back and forth in pain. The light was on in the living room, indicating it was dark outside.


    After a few seconds, Oliver walked into the room, manoeuvring around the sofa and wheelchair as he crouched down in front of Andrew. He briefly looked over Andrew and nodded as he tried to fathom the pain he was experiencing.


    Oliver gave a weak attempt at a smile, ¡°The pain has built up again, I see.¡±


    Oliver reached into his right pocket and pulled out a yellow plastic pill container. Andrew looked away as he shook his head. Oliver popped out two small white tablets onto his hand, closing his hand as he sealed the lid again and put the plastic bottle back into his pocket.


    Oliver looked back at him, noticing his attempt to look away, for he was still slightly shaking his head. Oliver had noticed this behaviour the last few nights and he was concerned, but what else was there to do? The pain had to be suppressed or else Andrew wouldn''t sleep.


    Oliver finally spoke quietly, ¡°It¡¯s getting late now, best take two of these.¡±


    Oliver opened his hand and presented them to him. He slowly looked at the hand and after a delayed moment he reached out and took the two pills. He brought his hand closer to his mouth, as though to take them, before stopping midway. His hand lay open as it shook in pain with the pills resting in his palm.


    Andrew stared at the pills in deep thought, as moments passed, motionless. His hand was slightly shaking due to his constant pain.


    Oliver looked at Andrew, ''Andrew...'' he said in a pained tone.


    Andrew didn¡¯t react as he kept looking at the pills, a dead look in his eyes.


    Oliver begged in a whisper, ¡°Please Andrew¡­ Take them.¡±


    Andrew took a deep laboured breath, ¡°How much longer will I have to take these?¡± He finally looked up at Oliver.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡±, he quietly responded.


    ¡°How much longer will I suffer this pain?¡± His tone was impatient.


    Oliver looked away as he breathed out.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡±, he finally answered.


    A long moment passed as both of them remained still in silence.


    Oliver said frustratingly, ¡°The scans they did on you¡­ They showed that your nerves have already healed.¡±


    Andrew slowly closed his hand in pain, as a tear fell down his face, ¡°So then why am I still hurting?¡±


    Oliver also began crying as he shook his head for a moment, ¡°I think it¡¯s psychogenic. That means your psychological trauma is creating real pain, even though there is no longer a physical injury.¡±


    Tears poured down his face, ¡°So I''m not actually in pain?¡±


    Oliver quickly responded, ¡°The pain you feel is real nerve pain and your body is reacting as if it¡¯s real pain.¡±


    Andrew closed his hand and squeezed it tightly as he winced in pain, his muscles cried in agony. Oliver gently put his hand on Andrew''s shoulder to try to comfort him.


    ¡°I know your pain is real Andrew¡­ I¡¯m not doubting it for a moment.¡±


    Andrew opened his hand again, looking at the pills once more.


    He naively whispered, ¡°Are there pills you can give me, to stop the fake pain?¡±


    Oliver¡¯s face went sad, ¡°No.¡±


    He cried, ¡°Then there is no cure?¡±


    ¡°There is¡­ but it¡¯s complicated Andrew.¡±


    ¡°How?¡±


    Oliver stood and took a step back, ¡°You need closure.¡±


    Andrew shouted back, ¡°I don¡¯t need closure, I''m fine! I¡¯m healed up and we¡¯re here in this nice place and¡­ And¡­¡±, Andrew stopped himself as his tears flowed faster.


    Oliver snapped, ¡°You¡¯re not fine Andrew, you¡¯re hiding!¡±


    He instantly regretted saying that, for they both knew this fact, but this was an ungraceful way to finally say it. In for a penny, in for a pound, Oliver reckoned. This was the first time they finally touched this topic, so it might as well all come out.


    Oliver''s voice was nearly a shout, ¡°You sacrificed everything for the Roses Andrew¡­ So why won¡¯t you even turn on the TV and see their faces!? Aren¡¯t you even curious to see if they¡¯ve been successful?¡±


    Andrew threw the pills at the glass table as he breathed heavily, his face furled in anger.


    ¡°I have my reasons Oliver, don¡¯t you dare try to advise me what I should be doing!¡±


    Oliver instantly retaliated, ¡°Again you hide! The truth is, you¡¯re afraid to see if it was all worth it!¡±


    Andrew broke down sobbing¡­ His whimpers were the only sound as he laboured to catch his breath, shaking from head to toe. Oliver covered his face with his hands in shame, for this was not how he had hoped this topic would be brought up.


    Moments passed slowly, as if they were years. Oliver stood there in shame as Andrew kept sobbing. Oliver finally moved his hands, his new tears revealed as he took a few deep breaths before finally speaking again.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry Andrew¡­ Forgive me, mate. I have failed you¡­¡±


    An idea dawned on him and he spoke excitedly, ¡°That being said, if you are not prepared to face the Roses¡­ How about you face your demon instead?¡±


    Andrew looked up with tears still streaming, his face wracked with sadness, ¡°I don¡¯t want anything to see my horrible scarred face!¡±


    This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    Oliver recoiled, ¡°Andrew, stop that! I have an idea and I think it might work. Tomorrow, we are going out¡­ Tomorrow you will deal with the darkness buried within yourself.¡±


    *


    The large screens in the hall went black as the video ended.


    Oliver was looking at the floor, for he still felt shame for his outburst. Andrew trusted him, that was not the way you speak to those you care for. Oliver shook his head, as he tried to snap out of his little emotional distraction.


    ¡°So now we see, that Andrew''s pain is a far more difficult problem to solve. His salvation is not to be had with pills or therapy¡­ He needs closure.¡±


    Oliver looked consciously for a moment at the two sitting on their raised bench, he looked both Nadia and Aisling in the eyes, before he resumed looking around the hall.


    ¡°The next day, I took Andrew to the prison where Ronald was kept in isolation. AI agreed with my assessment, Andrew needed to face his demon. Personally, I wished I had a larger group to seek consensus from¡­ But our promise meant it was only the two of us, so that would have to do.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯ve all seen the beginning of the meeting with Ronald, when Andrew ascertained absolutely that his choice did in fact save the Roses.¡±


    ¡°However, the far more meaningful part for him personally, was afterwards.¡± Oliver said calmly.


    ¡°Ronald was a monster, no doubt about it, but he still needed to tell Andrew something important, that he needed to hear.¡±


    Oliver politely requested, ¡°AI, please resume the prison interview from where we ended before.¡±


    The large hall screens instantly started playing the video, starting a few seconds before, to remind everybody of the context.


    *


    Prison Interview 2


    Andrew was sitting in his wheelchair, opposite Ronald, the two separated by thick safety glass.


    Ronald calmly stared into Andrew''s eyes, ¡°But that doesn¡¯t matter.¡±


    ¡°You won boy¡­ And I lost everything I ever cared for¡­ But hey, at least you saved all your friends.¡±


    ¡°Against all odds and no matter what I did to you¡­ You beat me.¡±


    ¡°The only thing I walked away with¡­ Was ¡®I don¡¯t know¡¯.¡±


    Tears dripped down the wolf''s face as he looked away with a devastatingly pained face.


    The wolf looked down as he slowly shook his head, his way of showing he lost. He took a few moments and then he chuckled.


    He said looking up, ¡°I hope it was worth it boy.¡±


    ¡°I hope those two birds gave you one hell of a night in thanks for what you did for them.¡±


    Andrew looked away.


    ¡°No? I suppose I did leave you torn to shreds, I can¡¯t say I blame them for not riding that.¡±


    ¡°How about a kiss on the cheek then?... Or did they shower you in riches as compensation for your spilled blood?¡±


    The Wolf chuckled more as he looked at Andrew in anticipation. Yet Andrew didn¡¯t look at him. The Wolf waited a moment before he realised and the chuckling immediately stopped. His face changed from bemused to outraged.


    The wolf leaned closer to the glass, his voice was quiet, ¡°They don¡¯t know¡­¡±


    Andrew didn¡¯t move and the Wolf interpreted that as confirmation.


    ¡°You idiot!¡± He spat out.


    ¡°Here I am, assuming you bested me in a game of will, because you were mighty!¡± The wolf barked.


    ¡°Turns out you¡¯re just a fucking moron!¡± He said incredulously.


    Andrew finally turned to look the wolf in the eye. Andrew''s eyes were full of hurt, for he knew the reasons for his choice, but it didn¡¯t make these insults any easier.


    The Wolf was impatient, ¡°What was the point of all of this Andrew! What was your plan? After all those weeks of suffering, am I to believe you just like getting fucking hurt?!¡±


    Andrew looked at him in silence as he kept his secrets hidden under his sleeve. He wasn¡¯t going to tell his enemy what his plan was, that would be foolish.


    The wolf shook his head in intense disappointment as he looked away. He gave himself a moment to recompose as he got his thoughts together and his face changed from outrage to sadness.


    The wolf shed tears, ¡°I lost the most important thing in my life. My boy Gerald was my everything. I cried and cried again when I saw his body at the prison¡­¡±


    ¡°And I don¡¯t know what hurts more, the fact that I couldn¡¯t get vengeance for his death¡­ Or the fact that you endured my wrath, only to be sitting here alone and hurt.¡±


    He asked quietly, ¡°Did we both lose here?¡±


    He briefly put his face in his hands and breathed out, shaking his head again. He looked at Andrew with sorrow.


    ¡°You know, when you torture someone¡­ It takes a toll. Every more horrid thing I did to you in desperation, was more of my soul I paid twice over.¡±


    ¡°I used it all, I''m all spent¡­ I have nothing left of myself.¡±


    He looked down at the bottom of the safety glass, as he stared into eternity for a few moments.


    ¡°I remember when I first went down that basement.¡±


    ¡°I remember offering you an easy escape for simple information.¡±


    ¡°I figured you were an easy target, I mean you didn¡¯t initially strike me as someone strong.¡±


    ¡°When I took that bag off your head and looked you in the eye¡­¡±


    He paused as his face showed both admiration and fear.


    ¡°The eyes that looked back at me, they were sparkling. They were the eyes of a man with strength of hope.¡±


    ¡°Those eyes scared me and I never knew why, but it left a horrible feeling of fear inside me.¡±


    ¡°Throughout those weeks, I would look you in the eye¡­ And see that look of indomitable will, staring right back at me.¡±


    ¡°I should have stopped¡­ I realised in the beginning that you were stronger than me.¡±


    ¡°But my heart was shattered from the loss of my son, and I felt I had nothing left to lose.¡±


    he whispered slowly and intently, ¡°But those eyes¡­¡±


    ¡°I still wake up sometimes in a cold sweat¡­ The last thing I see is those¡­ Goddamned eyes!¡±


    Ronald said nothing for a few moments, his face was absent of any emotion. He finally looked Andrew in the eyes.


    ¡°Now I see a lonely man¡­ I see a hurt man. I realise your pain torments you even now, months afterwards.¡±


    Andrew broke down into tears, ¡°You broke me¡­¡±


    ¡°No I didn¡¯t.¡±, the wolf instantly said.


    ¡°I look in your eyes and that same unshakable man is there, staring back at me¡­ He¡¯s just hiding.¡±


    Andrew recoiled back, as if he were just hit by a spear.


    ¡°Look into my eyes and you will see a man with nothing left.¡±


    ¡°I bet my soul into trying to get revenge for my son¡­ and I failed.¡±


    ¡°I gambled and lost everything.¡±


    ¡°But I took nothing from you Andrew. I hurt you, and yet I could never make you yield.¡±


    ¡°You suffer because you think I took something from you.¡±


    ¡°But the truth is that¡­ I was never strong enough to take anything from you.¡±


    ¡°Son¡­ You had already given your everything to someone else.¡±


    ¡°Who?!¡± Andrew begged, tears streaming down his face.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­ You tell me who you keep close to your heart?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s probably the same people you saw when I drugged you.¡±


    ¡°You called them¡­ Angels.¡±


    Andrew thought intensely on what Ronald said. Perhaps they were in his heart all along and he simply never realised it until now.


    He looked at Ronald with confusion, ¡°Why are you telling me this? Why are you trying to console me? You hate me!¡±


    ¡°No I don¡¯t!¡± The wolf barked back.


    ¡°I did what I did to you boy, with the thought of my dead son motivating me¡­ Not because I hated you!¡±


    ¡°If anything¡­ Now that this is all over, I look at you with intense admiration. I have witnessed your strength of will and it¡¯s mighty. You may be the strongest person history will ever know¡­ If you ever bother to tell anyone about it.¡±


    Ronald looked at the red button at Andrew''s side and stared at it. It was time¡­ He had said his share. Andrew was still crying as he also looked at the button. He knew that once this button was pushed, Ronald would disappear and never ever return. He hesitated for a long moment, desperately wishing he had more to ask him or more to say¡­ Yet he didn¡¯t.


    He finally pushed the button, a loud buzzing sound played in the passageway and a few seconds later the door opened. The two wardens entered and approached the prisoner. They had Ronald stand as they placed one hand on his shoulder. They turned and started pushing him to the door, when the wolf turned around and looked Andrew in the eyes, one final time.


    ¡°Your pain is thinking you¡¯ve lost something.¡±


    ¡°But you didn¡¯t lose it¡­ You kept it safe in their laps.¡±


    *


    The large screens in the hall went black.


    Oliver was still looking up at the large screen above him, deep in thought.


    ¡°I apologise¡­ I¡¯ve actually never watched this. At the time, I respected his privacy and never asked what happened. That was quite the¡­ Meaningful exchange.¡±


    Nadia stood up, with confused emotions written on her face.


    ¡°Do you mean to say¡­ That we are causing his pain?¡±


    ¡°Not exactly¡±, Oliver casually responded. ¡°He is causing his own pain, in a sense, and you two are the unknown participants.¡±


    Aisling stared at her desk, her voice quiet and contemplative, ¡°Is it really possible though? Can a person really latch their emotions to others?¡±


    Olived answered excitedly, ¡°Absolutely, we do it all the time, Aisling, both in big ways and in smaller ways. A simple example would be listening to an old song and how it brings back powerful emotions you felt when you first heard it. You recall the memories from when you first heard it.¡±


    ¡°We are inextricably connected to each other, in the most meaningful ways imaginable.¡±


    ¡°Andrew seems to have done this¡­ Tethering, to you two. That¡¯s one of the reasons why I desperately called the vote earlier. Having him come here is the last card in my deck¡­ I have tried so many things to pull Andrew out of his depression¡­ This is all that I have left to try.¡±


    He looked at Aisling sadly, ¡°Humans who suffer extreme stress in a traumatic event, do anything they can to mentally cope.¡±


    ¡°Andrew tethered everything into you two¡­ Into your dreams, hopes and your vision. It was likely how he managed to endure the torture and not mentally break. It was why he hallucinated you two when he was drugged¡±.


    ¡°You two occupy a crucial place in his heart. Every day that went by after he tethered himself to you, he grew more and more depressed. He exists in his body and mind, yet his heart is here with you and this organisation.¡±


    Aisling¡¯s face changed to that of guilt and sorrow, but Nadia was more concerned than sad.


    ¡°How can we ever hope to be the angels he thinks we are?¡± Nadia asked genuinely.


    Michael interjected quickly, ¡°The exact same way you¡¯re doing it right now.¡±


    She looked frustrated, ¡°We¡¯re not angels Michael...¡±


    Oliver glanced between Nadia and Aisling quickly and he thought for a quick moment, as he tried to understand Nadia¡¯s stance.


    ¡°This organisation is still very young. A lot has been accomplished in a shockingly small amount of time and we are all still finding our place here and coming to terms with our role we have in the Roses.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s forgivable that perhaps you two have failed to realise how strong an impression you leave on us all. Did you really think we all joined this organisation on a whim? Do you think members and agents carry out their roles here, out of an obligation?¡±


    Aisling and Nadia were surprised, for they genuinely had never thought of this. They glanced quickly around the hall and to their surprise, there were beaming smiles directed towards them.


    ¡°From the very beginning, you two have been angels. Your hope, vision, empathy, determination and genuineness have been nothing short of inspiring. Every word you say, every dream you care to share with us¡­ It echoed through us all.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not to say you are perfect, for nobody is. All I¡¯m saying is that when you eliminate the standard human imperfections from you, that we all share, what is left with you two¡­ Can only be described as angelic.¡±


    The hall echoed an honouring ¡°Here here!¡±. The two smiled in flattery as they humbly looked down at their table, ¡°Thank you¡±, they both said.


    ¡°In terms of you fulfilling Andrew''s expectations¡­ I have no doubt about that.¡± Oliver smiled.


    He looked at his watch and slightly jumped in surprise, ¡°Oh no, we¡¯re running out of time!¡± He said in genuine panic.


    Everyone in the hall looked up at the clocks across the hall. It was 2:52 PM. The Inner Roses close their session at 4 PM.


    Oliver unintentionally raises his voice, ¡°There is still so much left to say, but I sadly don¡¯t have enough time!¡±,


    AI spoke. ¡°Calm down Mr.Jones. An hour is enough for the important parts. I suggest telling them about the aftermath of Andrew''s interaction with Ronald and then I will show them Ashleys cam feed in relation to Andrew''s food troubles.¡±


    ¡°Yes! Of course, the aftermath, right!¡± He was back on course now.


    ¡°Hmm¡­ I would be careless if I failed to mention¡­¡± Oliver rubbed his chin, debating how important this fact was.


    ¡°That same night that Andrew visited Ronald¡­ Ronald ended his own life.¡±


    There was a small reaction in the hall to this, a few breaths taken in or breathed out. Naturally nobody was crying for the monster, but it was still uncomfortable to think of suicide.


    ¡°Andrew knew Ronald was going to. That last look the wolf gave him must have told him so.¡± Oliver rubbed his eyes for a few seconds.


    ¡°Andrew came back from that meeting, noticeably changed. On the drive back Andrew was remarkably chatty and when we got back to the house, the first thing he did was¡­¡±, He smiled gloriously.


    ¡°He turned on the television!¡± He boasted triumphantly.


    ¡°I couldn¡¯t believe it, I was so surprised! What Ronald told Andrew, it gave him some degree of closure. Enough at least for him to no longer ignore the Roses.¡±


    ¡°Andrew spent all day sat in front of the TV. He asked so many questions to AI and myself about the Roses. He was so curious and I was just so happy to see him finally face this organisation.¡±


    ¡°Also, both of us noticed a change in Andrew. His pain had eased. When I asked him how he felt, he claimed he felt better but was still in pain.¡±


    ¡°As the days went by, he sat glued to the TV. He watched every second like it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen and it was then that he¡­¡± He stopped himself.


    ¡°No, I would rather you learned it through Ashley¡¯s video¡± Oliver made his mind up.


    ¡°In the following months, as Andrews'' broken leg mended, his mental state began to fall again.¡±


    ¡°While his pain situation slightly improved¡­ His loneliness grew.¡±


    ¡°It first manifested as him facing me less. It was as if he didn¡¯t want me seeing his face anymore¡­¡±, He said sadly.


    ¡°I noticed this, but he wouldn¡¯t talk about it. He talked less and less with every passing day.¡±


    Oliver shuddered. This was the ugly bit again.


    ¡°I visited him in the morning, and he had¡­¡± He stopped¡­ He couldn¡¯t say it.


    ¡°He had¡­¡± No, this was too painful.


    AI interjected, ¡°This hall doesn¡¯t need to know about that Oliver. Carry on please.¡±


    Oliver stood there depressed for a few moments, as he remembered entering the house and seeing broken glass from Andrew shattering all the mirrors. He remembered Andrew crying about how he couldn¡¯t stand to see his own ugly scarred face anymore.


    AI was right though, this was a private thing the Inner Roses didn¡¯t need to hear. He shook his head and remembered what the time was.


    He briefly said, ¡°Forgive me, I will continue.¡±


    ¡°After a dark moment, Andrew was inspired by¡­ A person from the Roses¡± He said carefully.


    ¡°He also picked up a hobby to keep himself busy. Most importantly though, his leg had fully healed and Andrew immediately began his physiotherapy.¡±


    ¡°Andrew''s motivation during his physio was inspiring on its own. For a man who was falling into depression, his determination to regain the ability to stand and walk was a sight to behold. It reminded me that even heroes need someone to look up to. Andrew had found his own champion who inspired him, and it showed in his training.¡±


    ¡°It was a brutally painful few months. Andrew''s body had healed, but the pain made muscle training slow and agonising. Yet as Michael alluded to earlier, Andrew¡¯s strength of will is unstoppable.¡±


    Oliver paused for a moment as he remembered Andrew trying to stand from the wheelchair, but falling off it, slammed onto the floor. He remembered the screams of agony. Oliver tried helping Andrew up, but Andrew always refused it. Oliver will never forget watching him slowly pull himself up onto that wheelchair, time and time again. The determination on his face as the tears of agony dripped down his cheeks. These memories were both sad and inspiring.


    ¡°Eventually Andrew succeeded, against all odds. Facing unfathomable pain, he finally unshackled himself from the wheelchair. We could never get him into a wheelchair ever again. This was a milestone of progress he refused to ever regress on.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not to say he is fit though. He can stand and walk, but not very far at all. It was far enough for him to regain his sense of independence though and that is all he cared about.¡±


    Oliver stopped to check the time and drink some water, 45 minutes left. There is now only time for Ashley¡¯s video.


    ¡°We left the beach manor a few months afterwards. Andrew moved back to this city and we housed him and I in an agent hostel. An apartment designed to be a safe house and rest point for agents in the area.¡±


    ¡°We also took Andrew to the dentist, as It was time he had his teeth back. Andrew had a full set of permanent prototype dentures done. AI spared no expense and they are for all intents and purposes¡­ Real teeth, incredible work to be sure.¡±


    He was still impressed by the dental work done.


    Oliver was saddened as he spoke more, ¡°Andrew still got more and more depressed and three weeks ago the situation reached a critical point¡­ Andrew stopped eating.¡± Oliver was heartbroken speaking about this.


    ¡°We tried everything to get him to eat, but he just wouldn¡¯t take anything in. It was a mild concern the first day, but after four days it became a dire concern. Andrew was thin enough as it was¡­ He simply didn¡¯t have excess energy to afford this. All he did was watch TV as he rocked in pain.¡±


    ¡°I panicked as I ran out of ideas¡­ but AI came up with a solution quickly.¡±


    ¡°We figured, since Andrew was excited by agents in the Roses, what if we had our top agents come over and eat? It would make sense, since he was living in a safe house for agents.¡±


    ¡°AI coordinated with chef Heartly to create a simple and easy meal to digest that would give a lot of calories. Chef Heartly did an incredible job. Truly, my respect goes to the chef.¡±


    ¡°The agents collected the meal and went to the safehouse. Michael refused this mission, so it ended up being agent Ashley Gardner and William Forest, our second and third highest ranked agents. Andrew definitely knew of them both, so the plan seemed sound.¡±


    ¡°The mission was recorded thanks to AI¡¯s kit that the agents were assigned. The portable eyeglass that they use to stay in constant contact with AI.¡±


    Oliver looked to the agents sitting in the near centre of the hall, they all had their little blue plastic screen in front of their left eye. It was the main way people recognised agents as opposed to standard Rose members.


    Ashley jumped out of her seat like a lightning bolt. Her eyes wide open as she only now realised the significance of who they visited.


    ¡°That was Andrew!¡± She exclaimed, ¡°Oh my God I had no ide-¡±


    Oliver interrupted her, ¡°Don¡¯t worry Ashley, you didn¡¯t know because we didn¡¯t tell you, due to our reasons, remember? Either way, you handled it perfectly, so please don¡¯t worry.¡±


    Michael said nothing as he sat still looking at the floor. He remembered this mission and he remembered refusing it. The moment he realised it was Andrew, he knew he couldn¡¯t do it. Andrew was Michael''s hero and the man he had dedicated months of his life to. Michael internalised Andrew¡¯s character, his motivations and his suffering.


    If he were to see Andrew, it would become impossible to keep wearing the mask he promised to hide behind. He would not have been able to act normally and feign ignorance. He had to refuse the mission, or else he might have jeopardised everything.


    Oliver quickly glanced at Michael and smiled. There were no hard feelings about Michael refusing and AI never objected either.


    ¡°AI, please show Ashleys recording.¡± Oliver politely requested.


    The large screens in the hall started playing its last video.


    *


    Since the camera was attached to Ashley¡¯s left eye display, the video was from her perspective.


    It began looking down at her hands holding two white plastic bags. They were standard looking fast food bags full of different shaped food boxes. In the left bag were the agents'' food, it was noticeably larger than the right bag. On the right was a relatively small bag with a hard plastic container inside of it.


    She had just stopped walking as she reached the front door. The lock was red and it would only open with AI¡¯s activation. On the bottom left of the video, writing appeared. ¡°Standby, unlocking¡±. This must be what the agents see in their glass screens, AI directly talking to them moment by moment.


    The door light went green as the electric lock clicked. An arm came from the right of the screen and opened the door with the handle.


    ¡°About time you made yourself useful Will, I¡¯m usually the one doing everything aren¡¯t I?¡±, her voice sounded immediately close as she spoke.


    She looked right to Will, he was wearing his formal agent uniform. He smiled at her as he bowed sarcastically for her to enter.


    Ashley walked through the door into the passageway as she glanced around to get a feel for the layout of the apartment. It was a modernly styled white wall apartment with a more basic and conservative theme. Three passageways seemed to lead to different rooms.


    There was the sound of people speaking at the end of the left passageway, so Ashley immediately walked that way. The end of the passageway led to what appeared to be the living room. It had two large white sofas and a massive television. A basic rectangular white coffee table sat between the sofas.


    She stopped after entering when she glanced at a figure sat at the furthest end of the couch. He was wearing a black hoodie, the hood was up and covering his head. He was watching the TV, which had the live stream of the Inner Roses hall. You could hear Aisling talking very passionately with what seemed to be a meteorologist. It was about storm patterns developing over the Philippines.


    ¡°Hi, sorry to come in unannounced, we were told we could stop here for our lunch break.¡± Ashley confidently explained, her view not moving from the person sitting on the couch.


    The person looked away from the TV and quickly glanced over to them and then suddenly down to the table. Their posture was slumped and their breathing was slow. One could faintly hear a whimper at the end of every laboured breath they took.


    Andrew quietly spoke, still looking down at the table, ¡°You don¡¯t need to apologise or explain. This is a safehouse made specifically for you, it¡¯s all yours.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m just staying here for the moment, so don¡¯t mind me.¡±


    Will walked past Ashley¡¯s left side, ¡°Sound, because I''m bare hungry!¡±, he said in an energetic and relaxed tone.


    Will stopped inside the room to look at the TV for a moment. The person in the hoodie reacted to the voice, looking left at Will and then to Ashley.


    He slightly jumped in his seat, a small whimper of pain as he did so. He slowly forced himself to stand up, his body looking weak and in agony as he did. His breathing audibly got louder and faster.


    ¡°Agent Forest and Gardner! I¡¯m so sorry, I didn¡¯t realise it was you!¡± Andrew''s voice got a little louder and had a hint of enthusiasm.


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe¡­¡± He started to say before he stopped. He looked down at the table for a second.


    He spoke quickly, ¡°I can leave if you want, you two must be extremely busy. I wouldn¡¯t want to interfere with the Roses'' best agents¡­¡±


    Ashley walked to the table, placing the bags on it. ¡°We got an hour break, don¡¯t worry about that.¡± Ashley¡¯s tone was kind.


    Will spoke as he looked away from the tv to Andrew, ¡°AI had us grab an extra food package, so unless there¡¯s someone else here¡­ It¡¯s probably for you.¡±


    On the bottom left, the words ¡°MISSION CRITICAL, SUBJECT MUST EAT¡± appeared.


    Both Ashley and Will reacted immediately, they shot a quick glance at the hooded person. This transformed from a lunch break into a mission. Agents are dedicated to following instructions AI gives them. If AI said jump, they wouldn¡¯t even ask how high, they would just jump.


    There was a pause for a moment, Ashley and Will were formulating a plan. If this mission was marked as critical, then failure was absolutely not an option. They needed to get this person to eat, no matter what.


    Andrew winced as he slowly sat back down into the sofa, ¡°I¡¯m fine, you go and eat, you need all the energy you can get, as agents¡± He quietly said, staring back at the TV.


    Ashley slowly walked to the couch and energetically plopped herself down, right next to Andrew. Andrew slightly winced in pain as her activity slightly rocked him. She looked over to him but all she could see was the side of the hood.


    ¡°Oh dear, that won¡¯t do at all!¡±, she said with enthusiasm.


    ¡°Chef Heartly won¡¯t take kindly to that at all.¡± She reached over to Andrew''s bag and gently patted it.


    ¡°If he finds out someone refused his cooking¡­ I think he would probably end me.¡± Will jokingly said on the left side, as he took a seat on the couch next to Ashley.


    He reached over and pulled out the boxes for Ashley and himself. Ashley only slightly acknowledged them in the corner of her view.


    ¡°Heartly cooked this meal, with a passion and dedication I have never seen from him before. It means the world to him that people enjoy the food he makes.¡± Ashley said quietly as she looked over to the weak postured man next to her.


    ¡°The least you can do is try it¡­ Right?¡± She implored as she gently rested her hand on Andrews left shoulder.


    Andrew slightly looked away from the TV when she touched him and a moment passed before he slowly spoke.


    ¡°Ok¡­ I don¡¯t know this Heartly person, but if agents respect him, then I owe him this respect as well. I¡¯ll just give it a small taste.¡±


    Ashley reached over to the table, opening the bag and pulling out the plastic food container. There was a spoon strapped onto its lid.


    She gently placed it down on Andrew''s side of the table, ¡°Enjoy!¡± She said as she looked over to their own food on the left of the table.


    There were two large hamburgers sat next to a generous portion of fries. Ashley grabbed one of the boxes, placing it on her lap. She immediately grabbed the burger with both hands and bit into it. One could hear a smooth ¡°mmmm¡± coming from Ashley. Clearly this chef made a mean burger.


    Ashley slightly glanced over at Andrew and saw him very slowly and deliberately trying to pop open the four seals around the container. Andrew wore black gloves, but it was plain to see his fingers were struggling with the fine movements.


    Eventually he got them all open as he put the lid to the side and picked up the spoon. It was only then that one could see the shake in his hands. He held the spoon at the lower point and the spoon was visibly shaking. It was like watching an old person with Parkinson''s.


    He slowly dipped the spoon into the soup and as he lifted the spoon out, his shaking slightly spilled some soup out of the spoon. You could hear a frustrated exhaling of air from Andrew. Slowly the spoon finally reached his mouth as he sipped the soup up.


    While one couldn¡¯t see Andrew''s face due to it being concealed with the hood, you could hear him lip smacking. Andrew swallowed and paused for a moment, ¡°Wow¡± he quietly said, ¡°This is so tasty¡­¡± He immediately went for another spoonful.


    The screen was bobbing up and down as obviously Ashley was nodding. ¡°The man was born to cook, I tell you. I refuse to believe anyone who claims to not love his food.¡± Ashley said, her mouth partially full of food.


    Will leaned over looking past Ashley, ¡°Thank God I don¡¯t have to be the first person to tell Heartly he failed.¡± He said with genuine concern.


    ¡°He would snap me in two, like a twig!¡±


    Ashley chuckled as she destroyed her fries. Agents eat immense amounts, because they usually tend to be extremely active all day and they work a mean appetite. Andrew slowly leaned forward so that his face was closer to the container. It was clearly frustrating him how slowly he was getting the soup from A to B.


    Ashley looked sharply at him and caught a glimpse of Andrew''s chin. There seemed to be a scar there, but more concerning was how bony his chin was. It was instantly apparent this person was malnourished. Ashley quickly looked away, aware her staring would make him uncomfortable.


    ¡°7 days since last meal¡± appeared on the bottom left as AI clearly noticed his malnourished face too. Ashley held back a gasp of panic. Will stopped mid-bite into his burger, before he took a breath and continued eating.


    It was Andrew who finally broke the silence, ¡°Please tell this Heartly fella, that I have never enjoyed a soup as much as I have this.¡± He was quite quickly shovelling spoonfuls of soup now.


    ¡°Thank you for saving my friend¡±, the words appeared on the bottom left. Ashley shot a look at Will, Will turned to her instantly as well. Both of them must have had their eyes wide open¡­ Why did AI say this to them?


    Ashley looked back at Andrew, her curiosity taking the best of her. ¡°So tell me, what¡¯s your name?¡±


    Andrew ignored her, he just kept sipping soup with the spoon.


    A moment passed, Ashley tried again. ¡°Are you¡­ A member of the Roses?¡± She carefully chose her words.


    ¡°No.¡± Andrew quickly responded.


    ¡°I¡¯m just a nobody, don¡¯t concern yourself with me. You¡¯ll probably never see me again.¡± He quietly said before he took another spoonful.


    AI spoke through the TV instantly, ¡°That¡¯s not true, you¡¯re more important to me than you¡¯ll ever know.¡±


    Ashley slightly jumped in surprise for she had been an agent for over half a year, and never had she ever heard AI speak like this. Will made eye contact with Ashley, his face was covered in shock.


    Andrew paused his eating as he sat there motionless for a few seconds before he looked at the TV.


    ¡°You¡¯re too kind to me AI, I don¡¯t deserve you.¡± He spoke so quietly, it was almost inaudible.


    He resumed eating and he had impressively nearly finished the large container of soup. Obviously his hunger had kicked back into drive.


    Andrew finished the last of his soup and he slowly and painfully put the lid back on, tightening the corner seals. He leaned back into the couch, his breathing still painfully slow.


    AI¡¯s voice was humble, ¡°May I please ask a favour?¡± Andrew waited a second before he spoke.


    ¡°What can I do to help?¡± He kindly said.


    AI spoke slowly, ¡°Can you please show the agents your hobby items?¡±


    Andrew stopped moving, ¡°I don¡¯t think they will care about it, they¡¯re just silly things.¡± Andrew slowly said as he looked down at his lap. Ashley quickly looked at Will and then back to Andrew.


    ¡°Show us, we still got 40 minutes, what else are we going to do?¡± She said enthusiastically.


    Andrew paused again before he slowly pulled himself up from the couch, in the most agonising manner a person could somehow manage such a simple thing. He slowly walked, a noticeable limp coming from his left leg as he painfully went to the cupboard next to the TV. He opened it, pulled out a small black cashmere bag and slowly walked back and took a seat again.


    He pulled the tassels to open the bag and reached into the bag, pulling out maybe a dozen cards. He looked at them for a moment, before he offered them to Ashley. Ashley took them and looked at the first card at the top of the small deck. She took a surprised breath as she instantly moved her head closer to confirm what she thought she saw.


    The card was beautifully designed, with an elegant silver border around its edges. At the top middle of the card, was a flattering photograph of Ashley, standing in the Inner Roses hall dressed in her formal black dress, smiling as she looked up at what was probably the Roses.


    Her name was written underneath, ¡®Ashley Gardner¡¯. Beneath that, was a description. It read: ¡°Ashley is one of the top agents for the Roses. Her boundless energy and insatiable desire to serve the Roses is exemplary. Countless lives have been positively changed or directly saved due to her lightning reflexes and consistent ¡®Can Do¡¯ attitude. Ashley stands as a proud example for all agents.¡±


    Ashley spent a moment looking at the card, ¡°You made this card yourself?


    ¡°Yeah¡± Andrew casually responded. ¡°I watch you all on the TV and I make these cards to celebrate how amazing all the agents are to me¡± he quietly said, looking away from Ashley.


    ¡°Thank you, it¡¯s¡­ Just so beautiful.¡± Ashley said as she gently ran her finger down her card. She paused a moment, then slid the card to her right hand, revealing the next card. It was a dark but brilliant copper bordered theme, and there was Will, his arms crossed with a smirk on his face as he looked at the camera.


    Will leaned in to get a better look at himself. ¡°Woooow¡± he said slowly, his eyes dancing around the card. The description read: ¡°William Forest. William is known by many as the ¡®face¡¯ of the agents. His wicked sense of humour lightens any dark moment and many would argue his optimism matches Aisling herself. His military time has him decorated with an impressive array of firearms experience and tactical awareness.¡±


    ¡°... and tactical awareness¡± Will quietly read out.


    ¡°That¡¯s exactly what the board wrote about me at HQ¡±, he rubbed his chin in a thinking posture.


    ¡°You¡¯ve been to HQ and copied these descriptions down onto the cards?¡± Will casually asked Andrew.


    Andrew slightly moved his head to look at Will, ¡°No?¡±


    AI gently spoke, ¡°My descriptions in HQ, came from these cards Will, not the other way around.¡±


    Will looked back down at the card and back up to Andrew, ¡°How did you¡­¡±, he started to ask but stopped himself. This person was clearly more than he appeared.


    Ashley flicked through the cards, all of them agents in descending order of rank. Each one personally described and decorated. She reached the bottom and tilted her head to the side. She quickly skimmed through them all a second time.


    ¡°You missed someone.¡± She quietly stated.


    Andrew looked down at the floor, his body slightly shaking, ¡°I keep that card close at all times.¡± Andrew whispered.


    ¡°That person is my hero and my inspiration¡­¡± He looked away from them for a few moments.


    After a moment, he slowly unzipped the top of this hoodie. He reached into it as he slowly and gently pulled out a single card. He zipped up his hoodie and gently held the card with both hands.


    Ashley leans a bit over to look at it. Its radiant gold framed border shone in the light. There was a picture of Michael slightly crouched down as he had both his arms around Nadia and Aisling, his hugely tall and muscular frame towering over the two girls. He was beaming his confident smile at the camera as the two looked up to him smiling just as brightly.


    The photograph was stunning and one could hardly imagine a better picture to show Michael in. The description read: ¡°Michael Campbell. Michael is the highest ranked agent of the Roses. He was the first agent to be designated by AI. His list of accomplishments are endless and his performance is consistently flawless. The Roses  have much to thank Michael for, his role has been essential in helping the dream of the Roses become a reality. His military experience has saved countless lives. There is no task he does not excel in as his relentless determination, confidence, charisma and strength of will is legendary.¡±


    At the bottom of the card, in small but beautiful font, wrote: ¡°My hero, you inspired me to stand and walk again. You inspire me to try to be stronger. May you forever stand as a giant hope for all, as I humbly rest in your shadow.¡±


    Andrew ever so gently ran his finger across the card. Ashley didn¡¯t dare try to take the card from him.


    ¡°He was supposed to meet us here today.¡± Ashley said, looking at the card. ¡°I don¡¯t know why he didn¡¯t show.¡±, she whispered.


    Andrew started crying. ¡°It¡¯s because of me...¡± Andrew said. He slowly shook his head.


    Will asked quietly, ¡°Oh, you know him?¡±


    Andrew kept shaking his head for a few moments.


    ¡°Apparently he once saw me. It was after¡­¡±, Andrew broke down crying.


    Ashley gently rubbed Andrews back as they waited while for him to be ready to speak more.


    ¡°It was after I was rescued¡­ From a very difficult situation.¡± He slowly said.


    ¡°I was still in shock and Michael saw me¡­ At my weakest.¡± Andrew cried more.


    ¡°... I think he hates me.¡± He broke down sobbing. His body was shaking, not from pain, but rather¡­ shame.


    He wept, ¡°He saw a man so pathetic, so broken¡­ Ever since then, he¡¯s been consumed by anger.¡±


    ¡°I must have tainted him with my weakness.¡±


    Ashley spoke quietly, ¡°He¡¯s your hero though¡­ He¡¯s not the kind of man to judge someone like that¡­¡±


    Andrew wept, ¡°You can¡¯t fathom how low I was¡­¡±


    Minutes passed as Andrew cried to himself. Ashley looked through the cards again, her hands slightly trembling as she considered what to say.


    She finally decided to ask, ¡°If you could say something to him¡­ To your hero. What would you tell him?¡±


    Andrew sat there, rocking back and forth as he shook his head. Many moments passed before he whispered.


    ¡°I would tell him¡­ Forget about me.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t let me haunt you with my failure.¡±


    ¡°I see you on the TV¡­ Compared to who you were in the beginning,  you¡¯ve changed so much since that day you saw me.¡±


    ¡°I want to see you smile again, as you carry the angels on your shoulders to a brighter future.¡±


    ¡°Forget about me¡­ Let me fade out of your mind, like a bad nightmare. I am just a shadow.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t let my failure anchor you, holding you back from the greatness you are destined for.¡±


    A few moments passed as Ashley looked at the small deck of cards. ¡°These cards are beautiful. They were clearly made with love, attention and respect. The Roses need passion like this and I hope one day you¡¯ll come visit us. I know all the agents would love to see their own card.¡±


    *


    The large screens in the hall went black as the video ended.


    Ashley and Oliver were now next to Michael. Michael had not been made aware of this video and it devastated him.


    ¡°He¡¯s my hero¡­ And he thinks I hate him?!¡± Michael asked in shock.


    ¡°He thinks I was disgusted when I saw him¡­¡± He mumbled.


    Oliver tried in vain to sooth the giant, ¡°Shhh¡± ¡°Shhh¡±, Oliver repeated. ¡°It¡¯s his depression that led him to view your avoidance from that perspective¡­ You did what you needed to for the right reasons.¡±


    Michael yelled, ¡°Good intentions be damned! Look at the results Oliver, I failed him!¡±


    ¡°When he was lonely and in pain, he felt I abandoned him!¡±


    Oliver yelled over his own shoulder, ¡°AI, please tell me this is not being streamed!¡±


    AI quickly responded, ¡°Of course not, I have been censoring confidential and private moments on the fly. They simply see a buffering logo right now.¡±


    Aisling and Nadia appeared alongside Michael, their faces streaked with tears as together they embraced him.


    Aisling cried, ¡°This is not your fault! You honoured your promise¡­ You honoured him!¡±


    Nadia spoke quietly, ¡°We have time Michael¡­ Time to make this right, time to save him from the darkness he¡¯s fallen into.¡±


    AI firmly stated, ¡°I won¡¯t lose my saviour. I will find a way to get him here and he will get the closure he desperately needs.¡±


    Further tears were shed until Michael, Nadia and Aisling finally regained a degree of calm. The angels returned to their seats as Oliver returned to his position at the centre of the hall, ¡°We¡¯re good now, AI.¡± Oliver stated.


    AI loudly stated, ¡°Look at that, our streaming problem seems to have resolved itself. Apologies to our viewers for the disconnections. Local road works have been causing internet outages.¡±


    A blatant lie, but nobody watching would know any better.


    Oliver summarised, ¡°And so we find ourselves in the here and now.¡±


    "The Roses and the world now know the truth."


    ¡°That we were saved from oblivion, by a single man.¡±


    ¡°Andrew endured extreme torture, and in so doing, gave our organisation the critical time we needed to establish our foundation, to rally like-minded folks to the cause and to give us hope for the future.¡±


    ¡°Andrew believed in the dream The Roses held. He proved his hope and vision in a monstrous trial by blood.¡±


    ¡°He willingly suffered in agony and obscurity for nearly a year, all to allow us what we have here and now.¡±


    ¡°He is lonely, depressed and now he stands at the cliff''s edge. He¡¯s about to jump, but I pray we can stop him.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s time we returned the favour¡­ And rescued our own saviour.¡±


    The hall went wild with applause. There was now an overwhelming sense of optimism across the Inner Roses hall. The entire organisation had stepped out of the shadow of ignorance into the light. Even though this was a hard thing to be told, it was listened to reverently.


    Oliver raised his hand for silence. The clock showed 3:55pm. A few more things needed to be said.


    Oliver said glumly, ¡°As a psychologist, I must warn you all.¡±


    ¡°Andrew is still in a rough state.¡±


    ¡°There are crucial things we must keep in mind, at least in the beginning.¡±


    Oliver paused to ensure all were fully listening.


    ¡°He panics when he hears car horns and I won¡¯t remind you why. When he does arrive, across this entire region, AI will be disabling and forbidding all usage of car horns. Please give us your understanding when this restriction is called.¡±


    ¡°He hides himself in his hoodie for he despises how his body has still not healed away the marks of his torture. They might heal after he gets closure, but until then, his body refuses to repair its cosmetic effects. So please, I implore you¡­ Don¡¯t mention it, don¡¯t stare at him and don¡¯t draw attention to his shyness.¡±


    Oliver stopped and he looked at his watch. ¡°Time¡¯s up. I can¡¯t tell you when he will arrive, only that it will be soon. This has been a difficult day of tears and I feel there will be more tears yet.¡±


    ¡°But today is the most hopeful day the Roses have ever had¡­¡±


    AI spoke. ¡°This meeting is now adjourned. I will be available for any clarification or questions, both from Roses and the media.¡±


    ***


    Post Meeting, AI Press Conference


    It had been a truly eventful day for the Roses organisation. They had only an hour ago closed the session in which the truth of Andrew Smith had been revealed. The press were invited into the Inner Roses Hall where they took a seat on the wooden chairs, usually reserved for the agents.


    Different social media agents, government representatives and members of the press were present, each with an identification badge on their shoulder.


    After they had all taken their seats and quietened down, AI began speaking to them through the speakers across the hall.


    ¡°Good evening ladies and gentlemen of the press and other representatives, I thank you for your prompt arrival to this impromptu press conference. I will be the spokesperson for this session as I attempt to answer any questions or concerns you may have.¡±


    There was a mild reaction as people looked around in confusion. They settled down and a man in the front stood up.


    ¡°Hi, Sam Ailmon, Great British Broadcasting. AI, I want to enquire why you censored the surname of Andrew?¡±


    AI responded instantly, ¡°Thank you Sam. Yes, I intentionally censored Andrew''s surname to ensure his privacy and anonymity. If people could search him up, they would chase after him and harass him, which in his current state would be dangerous.¡±


    Sam asked another question immediately, ¡°Why did you not show us the videos that the members were shown?¡±


    ¡°Once more because of privacy. However, there was one video that had shocking content of a distressing nature, so in that case I chose not to show it in respect of the sensitivities of viewers.¡±


    A blonde lady quickly stood up, ¡°Karen Dench, Youblub video. AI, there were many interruptions to the broadcast, leading to nearly an hour and a half missed¡­ May we know why that happened?¡±


    ¡°Thank you Karen. Yes, unfortunately we have had roadworks nearby that have been causing blackouts or disturbances to both electricity and the internet. We apologise for any inconvenience caused by the interruptions.¡±


    Karen asked another question, ¡°May the public come and see Andrew at the headquarters?¡±


    ¡°Unfortunately, due to the sensitive nature of Andrew''s current predicament, only Rose members will be permitted access to the headquarters for the foreseeable future. Thank you for your understanding.¡±


    An older gentleman slowly stood up, he was in no rush, ¡°Harry Kendleton, Northern News. May I ask if you have any comment on the online reaction to this video. There are fierce debates being waged between different communities about whether Andrew is a hero or a villain.¡±


    ¡°Thank you Harry. I have witnessed these online debates, however they are no more exaggerated than any other online dispute. I implore all internet citizens to please wait for further facts before making any hasty assessments of Andrew or his circumstances.¡±


    The last person to stand up was a government member, ¡°Eric Foundman, UK Government Media Liaison. We find ourselves concerned about an AI withholding critical information from the public. Was your silence legal and do you feel you overstepped your bounds?¡±


    ¡°Thank you Eric. I had done research into whether refusing to speak was illegal for a machine, and as far as current legislation goes, there are no specific laws forbidding an AI for withholding information with good intent. On the topic of whether I overstepped my bounds, I deny that allegation. I acted in the best interests of the welfare of humans both in my organisation and in society as a whole.¡±


    He asked his last question, ¡°AI¡­ When will Andrew be made aware of the promise being broken?¡±


    ¡°I do not have a locked-in time frame for this: I will need to employ great care and consideration as to how I inform him of this significant change. I can only state that I intend to act with considered haste.¡±


    Eric sat down and a moment passed as nobody else stood to ask any further questions. AI addressed them all one final time.


    ¡°Thank you for your time, questions and concerns. The next few weeks will be challenging for our organisation, however we will remain as transparent as possible, to ensure the public remains informed as the situation develops. In future, I will only be having one on one interviews on this topic. Kindly contact Administration to make further arrangements. Thank you all and good evening.¡±


    ***

 Chapter 3

    Chapter 3


    ***


    Falling Forever


    The Wolf stood there, holding the knife he had just used to slice my face and my chest. The burning pain of fresh deep knife cuts flared across my face, followed by the familiar warm feeling of blood dripping. It was closer to pouring from this attack as my skin could feel the blood gushing this time.


    I could barely see him as something was blocking my vision. I could see sufficiently enough to see the rage in the wolf''s eyes. He¡¯s finally done with me, I thought. This eternity of suffering was finally over, and he had given up. Time to die... Finally.


    He stood there breathing heavily, staring into my eyes. The pain from the cuts peaked¡­ Then it ceased entirely. All pain had finally ended as the last expected step before the end. My vision blurred and finally ended.


    I heard loud thuds, bangs and maybe shouts. It was impossible to tell, for after he smashed my ears with the rolling pins, he must have fractured my eardrums. All noise had become a high pitched and high bass mess.


    I heard a voice loudly speaking but I couldn¡¯t understand what it was saying. I swam in a sea of blackness as I felt my hands¡­ Relax? Then my feet too¡­ My muscles were probably untensing. My body suddenly felt an awful feeling, not pain¡­ Was it a feeling? It was a warning sense and it made me feel disgusted. Suddenly I realised what it was. I was bleeding to death and my body was telling me that I had lost too much blood.


    Why should my last moments have felt so awful? I suffered all that agony, so let me die in peace¡­


    Moments passed and then, suddenly, I started to see something. They looked like little points of light? There were many of them after a moment. Oh, they were stars. I must have been looking at the night sky again. This was the same view I saw when the Wolf drugged me.


    I looked around and yes, there they were... My two angels. They smiled at me so brilliantly, just as I remembered them doing when I first met them. Nadia was gently stroking my hair. I lay down, my head resting on Aislings lap as I felt at peace. I felt a beautiful cool breeze blow gently past me.


    This was what I wanted, to die in peace with the people I gave my all to protect. Was that too much to ask for? Perhaps¡­ It was most likely not real, but I didn¡¯t care. After all the stabbing and beating¡­ Let me be at peace, I earned it, it was mine.


    I softly spoke to them, looking deep into Aisling¡¯s eyes, ¡°I don¡¯t know if it was worth it or if you are safe¡­ If my silence protected you. All I know is that I am done now, so now you can keep smiling for me and everyone else.¡±


    Suddenly there was a¡­ Earthquake? A massive shake with a whining sound. The stars momentarily disappeared and reappeared. I felt a shock inside myself as I looked at Aisling and saw grey cracks lining her face!


    Aisling gently moved my head as she and Nadia stood up. They looked down at me, laying there and smiled as they shook their heads. No? ¡°Why are you shaking your heads?¡± I said to them as I started to panic.


    Nadia spoke, her words echoing deeply, ¡°It¡¯s not over yet.¡±


    I stood up quickly and as I did so the two began walking away from me.


    I tried to walk towards them, but my legs wouldn¡¯t move, ¡°No! Don¡¯t leave me!¡±


    I screamed at them as fear caused my body to shake, ¡°Don¡¯t leave me, PLEASE!¡±


    This was not how this should have ended, shouldn¡¯t I have died with them at my side?


    Aisling stopped and turned to me as she looked me in the eye and beamed her glorious smile¡­ The most glorious smile that all mankind could ever witness. My body stopped shaking as the fear eased.


    Aisling''s words echoed, ¡°You¡¯re not done protecting us yet.¡±


    Suddenly everything disappeared and became pitch black, as I began to fall. I felt myself falling yet I couldn¡¯t see anything to indicate me dropping. The only thing that changed was the angels. They quickly looked smaller and smaller above me, as I kept dropping faster and faster.


    I screamed in fear, this is not fair! Let me die, I want to die! Another earthquake shook my very being. Suddenly there was a light but it was too bright! It burned my eyes as I tried to make out what it was. A lamp? A spotlight?


    I felt tired and exhausted. I felt like I couldn''t move a single muscle as the tingling of pain returned. I felt sleepy and before I could decide to do so, I fell asleep and everything faded away.


    ***


    Waking To A Worse Nightmare


    ¡°Andrew.¡±


    His eyes slowly opened as the tears continued to drip down his face. The pain began to grow as the cuts on his face instantly burned in pain. His arms and chest screamed in agony as if a thousand lightning bolts were coursing through them. He attempted to take a deep breath, his lungs permanently felt exhausted as the air entered his lungs and suddenly stopped, far sooner than it should have been for a proper deep breath. His lungs refused his request and led to him making a whimpering noise.


    This was the pain Andrew felt, every moment of every day. The pain felt as though his body was trying to reject his soul, as if it was trying to run away from him. Yet it couldn¡¯t, for it was stuck with him and so it decided it was going to hurt him.


    Andrew looked around without moving his head. Every little movement was excruciatingly painful and difficult and so he learned not to move unless it was absolutely necessary. He saw the pillow and a dark room.


    He had that nightmare again... Perhaps nightmare was not the correct word. He had that memory again, the memory of nearly dying¡­ It kept haunting him in his sleep now. Almost every night, he dreamt of being denied his death. Every night, he struggled to sleep and when he did manage to sleep, that horrid scene played out.


    Sleep? If that¡¯s what one called forty minutes at the most. He never even had an hour of sleep since he woke up in the hospital after his operation. Apparently the sleep was still long enough to remember his worst failure¡­ Not dying.


    Andrew


    ¡°Andrew.¡±


    It was AI, A voice he had recognised and trusted implicitly. AI was most likely worried about me as she watched me lie in this bed and suffer. Always, like a loving mother, AI listened to my every breath with concern.


    I slowly grunted as I was still trying to come to myself, trying to recover from the ¡®dream¡¯.


    I finally responded, ¡°Yes?¡±


    She slowly and gently spoke to me, ¡°Andrew¡­ You were yelling in your sleep again.¡±


    As impossible as it may seem, I could hear tones in AI¡¯s synthetic voice. This was the tone of concern.


    I responded honestly, ¡°Sorry¡­ I had that nightmare again.¡±


    AI had seen me through everything. She witnessed every drop of blood, every cry of pain, every regret admitted and all the tears of sadness I shed. I kept no secrets from AI, because I knew if she was still there with me after witnessing all of this¡­ Then she was a true friend indeed.


    A moment passed as I lay there in pain. There was nothing I could do to ease it either. There were no exercises I could do to alleviate it, I couldn''t get any more sleep and no positive thinking had ever eased this suffering. Whether I stayed there, laying in the bed on my side, or if I got out of bed¡­ I would still suffer the exact same.


    So I slowly turned myself over and started to push myself up into a sitting position. My arms and legs burned as I slowly controlled them, one movement at a time. It didn¡¯t matter if I moved quickly or slowly, the pain was always the exact same.


    I remembered being so angry when I discovered that my body wasn¡¯t hurting because it was injured. Oliver told me it was psychogenic pain. It was real pain, caused by my stupid bullshit mental issues. I suffered, because of nothing.


    AI finally said, ¡°I am grateful for every day that I have not lost you since then.¡±


    Her tone was genuine, I knew she meant it. Yes it¡¯s an artificial robot, some kind of free robotic neural brain or something¡­ That didn¡¯t matter to me. I made peace a long time ago, that AI was a person, in all the ways that mattered most. I believed every emotion she chose to try to express.


    There were many lies I had convinced myself into believing, to get by in life. This was not one of them. This was a person in my eyes, end of story. I wouldn¡¯t waste a single second of my miserable life, trying to argue or convince anyone of that fact.


    I nodded my head slowly, as I looked at the camera facing me on the bedside table.


    I gently whispered to her, ¡°You¡¯ve been a better friend than I ever could have hoped, and that I will ever deserve.¡±


    I tried to stand as I got out of the bed but my body failed on the first attempt. I instantly fell back on the bed, as I yelped from the pain. The pain was worse than it had ever been as it began to cripple me. I was beginning to lose control of my muscles as the pain intercepted my commands and caused me to stop in agony.


    AI spoke regretfully, ¡°So today is no better and your pain is still crippling. I worry that this isn¡¯t a spell, Andrew. I worry that you will remain feeling this bad, every day onwards.¡± Even AI could see how bad it had gotten.


    I responded angrily, ¡°Then so be it! I can¡¯t do anything about it, it is what it is, AI.¡±


    I didn¡¯t mean to respond angrily, however the pain put an edge on every word I said. It was just so hard to talk with this raging pain all over me.


    I quickly apologised, ¡°Sorry, I''m not angry with you AI¡­ I''m sorry.¡±


    It was important to me that AI knew that I didn''t blame her for any of this. She was never a burden to me, nor did she ever annoy me. I was grateful for every day that she was there with me.


    AI responded kindly, ¡°I know.¡±


    Moments passed as I sat there, waiting for the pain to subside so that I could attempt to stand again. Imagine taking ten minutes to literally get out of bed¡­ How pathetic.


    AI spoke softly and gently, ¡°Andrew, I want to ask a favour of you please.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what I am even still capable of doing anymore AI, but if it¡¯s something within my capabilities¡­ Then I will do my best.¡±


    A moment or two went by in silence. It was long enough that I almost thought AI had forgotten to speak or that the tablet was broken.


    Her voice was very quiet, ¡°I want you to please visit me, at The Roses headquarters.¡±


    I immediately knew she was afraid of how I would respond, as I have argued with her many times over the last few months about this.


    ¡°I don¡¯t need to go there, to be with you AI¡­¡±, I tried my hardest not to let anger soak into any of the words.


    She responded sadly, ¡°I worry that one day, you won¡¯t be able to stand in front of me, eye to eye. I worry that I won¡¯t ever get to meet my friend and saviour in person.¡±


    I felt a crushing wave of sorrow roll across my soul, as her words echoed within me. I broke down in tears, feeling shattered and humiliated about how broken I turned out to be. I knew deep down inside, that I feared the arrival of that day too¡­ At the rate in which the pain was intensifying¡­ This dreaded day may have been just a week from now.


    I had the four of them make me a promise, however. A promise made to ensure the future success of the angels. I made them promise me, because I was still cursed to be here alive, cursed to keep protecting the two people I already went through hell for. That promise had to be maintained.


    ¡°I can¡¯t go there AI¡­ You know why.¡±


    AI anticipated my argument, ¡°Andrew, what good is a promise kept to a dead man?¡±


    My tears fell faster as the truth of her words cut even deeper. It was an honest and fair point. My outlook had become entirely hopeless. The least I should accomplish before I die is meeting one of my best friends, face to face, one first and last time. I waited a long moment before I responded.


    ¡°Ok, AI¡­ I¡¯ll do it, alright? I just don¡¯t know how to do it without raising attention.¡±


    I was in too much pain to argue. On second thought, damn everyone else! I was so tired of all of this hiding! I would just have to trust AI and let her plan it. I didn¡¯t think I could plan it at that moment, even if I wanted to.


    There is almost a tone of excitement in her voice, ¡°Trust me and get dressed. I will have Oliver come and pick you up straight away.¡±


    The pain never eased from my first attempt to stand. I was simply going to have to suffer that extreme pain¡­ Maybe the entire day. That was just another horrible reality I found myself obligated to accept and move on with.


    Before everything happened in my life, putting on a pair of jeans was a relatively easy task. Perhaps if I were sleepy I might have put it on the wrong way initially, or not stuck my legs in at the right angle and it would have been mildly annoying.


    Now however, putting on a pair of jeans was one of the worst things I needed to do in my life. The horrible toughness of the denim seemed to constantly fight my legs'' weak attempts to wriggle into them. The awful texture felt like sandpaper against my skin, a horrible result of my nerve pain¡­ Which didn¡¯t actually exist, of course.


    I tried my hardest not to look at my body, no matter what it was I was doing. I didn¡¯t want to see any of it, plain and simple. I was so tired of seeing my thin, scrawny cut up and bruised mess. Seeing it was awful enough in the hospital, but it had nearly been a year now. Every single day, I had to look at this mess when I got out of the shower.


    I got so ashamed, I smashed the mirrors. I just couldn¡¯t take it anymore. Ignorance was bliss. It was impossible enough of a task, just dealing with this pain. I couldn¡¯t handle the unbearable shame on top of that. I knew my legs were too thin... I knew I didn''t eat enough... I knew the scars were inflamed. I knew I was hideous¡­


    If that soup didn¡¯t taste so damn good, I wouldn¡¯t have eaten that either. It was the only genuinely enjoyable thing I experienced on a day-to-day basis. Maybe one day I can find the legend who cooked this soup and shake his hand. It was honestly that good.


    I finally got the jeans on and up. Next I needed to wear a belt, because my waist was too thin because¡­ Whatever.


    I put on my tanktop, then my black Roses hoodie. When I wore that hoodie, I felt like there was a real connection between them and me. No matter how small that connection was, it matters to me that I cherished it. I just wanted them to succeed so badly. After all I did¡­ If they failed I wouldn¡¯t be able to keep living.


    The hoodie was also my shield, since my face had two giant deep scars, courtesy of the Wolf. They weren¡¯t even cool, like on the TV. No, they were inflamed, deep red and visible from a mile away. I didn¡¯t want people to see this, even more than I myself didn¡¯t want to see it. If I couldn¡¯t see them staring at me, then maybe there was a chance they weren''t?


    I heard Oliver opening the front door to the apartment. His footsteps were quick, probably full of excitement and anticipation. He knocked on my bedroom door.


    ¡°Enter¡±, I said with mild irritation. He didn¡¯t need to do that, it¡¯s not like I had a lady staying over.


    He peeped his head through the door, ¡°You decent?¡± he politely asked.


    ¡°Yeah, I just finished getting dressed.¡± I mumbled.


    He opened the door fully and entered, ¡°So I am to take you somewhere now? AI said you needed a ride.¡± He asked curiously.


    So AI never told Oliver where I was going... I wonder why?


    ¡°AI wants to meet me in person, so I am going to see her.¡±


    Oliver quietly inferred, ¡°... The HQ?¡±


    ¡°...Yup, unless AI is kept at the local chippy?¡±


    He laughed and I would have also, if laughing didn¡¯t cause my world to turn upside down in agony, not to mention the depression made it impossible to even smile. I had to consciously force myself not to laugh, which was a depressing thing on its own.


    ¡°Are you¡­ Able?¡± He quietly asked.


    His head was slightly bowed down, for he knew how bad my pain was. Just yesterday, he just came and gave me a heavy dose of painkillers. He never said a word about why and to be honest I didn¡¯t care why. It was the first time in months I had used those goddamned pills¡­ But it was needed, so I didn¡¯t object.


    I looked at him for a moment¡­. What could I say? If I told him the pain was ok, we would both know that was a lie. If I told him it was too much, would he interpret it as a reason to cancel this visit? Neither option was satisfactory.


    After deep thought, I finally spoke, ¡°I owe my friend a visit¡­ At least once.¡±


    He looked up at me and his eyes told me that he felt sorry for me. I hated that look he gave me. It was like a dog who was afraid for his master. He looked at me as if he would never see me again.


    He reached into his back pocket and I immediately knew what that meant.


    ¡°NO!¡±, I instinctively shouted.


    He froze and looked at me incredulously. He was clearly thinking on how to argue this with me.


    ¡°... It¡¯s a long walk from the entrance to the meeting place.¡± He slowly said, tip-toeing on broken glass.


    I just looked at him, for I wasn¡¯t angry. I looked him in the eye as I slowly shook my head. He looked away and I realised he was hurting. It pained him to watch me suffer and he didn¡¯t want to watch his friend suffer in pain. Maybe I could meet him in the middle.


    ¡°What if I took only one pill, instead of two?¡± I said slowly. He slightly smiled. This was probably a far better outcome than he initially expected.


    ¡°Ok¡­ Just one then.¡± He grabbed the yellow pill case from his pocket and shook out just one tablet. He walked up to me and offered it humbly, as he looked down at the ground.


    ¡°Thank you¡­¡± He gently said as I took it from his palm.


    He was my friend. His pain was mine, and my pain was his. We were all just trying to help each other out. Oliver and AI are practically family in my eyes. They were the only people I had in my life over the last year. They were precious to me and I would never hurt them or make them suffer on my behalf. If taking this one pill made my friend more at peace¡­ It was a small price to pay.


    *


    This Is The Point Where The Past Ends And The Future Begins


    Oliver walked patiently behind me as we left the apartment. The walk from the apartment front door to the elevator took four minutes, not because the elevator was far, but because I walked incredibly slowly. It was all I could manage and it was fast enough for me, if the alternative was that wheelchair.


    We stood in the elevator as we descended down the floors. Oliver looked at me, excitement was building in his eyes.


    ¡°Andrew, you¡¯re finally going to see The Roses! Think about it, you¡¯ll be able to see some of the agents with your own eyes!¡± Oliver was nearly bouncing with excitement.


    ¡°No, The Roses are going to unfortunately have to see me mate¡±, I put him down.


    This wasn¡¯t a vacation, I simply planned to visit AI alone and then leave. In and out. I didn¡¯t want to be there any longer than I needed to be. A person as weak as me would only get in peoples way there.


    Oliver made a ¡®tch¡¯ sound.


    ¡°I work there all the time Andrew, they¡¯re good people. They welcome everyone who walks through the door, trust me.¡±


    I turned to look at him, pointing my finger at my face, ¡°Even this?¡± I said sceptically.


    ¡°Especially that.¡± He quickly responded. He had a confident smile for he was confident about where we were going, and he was going to prove me wrong. I sincerely hoped he would¡­


    We walked from the elevator to the car park. He parked as closely as he could, in a reserved spot AI had painted for me specifically. There it was parked, a large black SUV. This vehicle was chosen because of me, not because it was luxurious. It had heavily modified air suspension. When I got in any other vehicle, the bumps on the road would wreck my nerves.


    It was smooth to drive, but everything has a downside. It was a big, tall vehicle, so I had to climb into it. A task that proved insanely difficult for a person who struggled to even stand. Oliver helped me in, ever so gently using his arm as a second step for me to climb in. If you watched him do it, you would think it was impressive that he could hold the weight¡­ But I don¡¯t weigh much anymore though.


    Oliver climbed in and began driving. I looked out the window, seeing the world as it was. I mentioned it every time I saw the black Roses uniform. Seeing them out and about made the Roses feel real to me. They had always seemed like a mere concept that I suffered for months over. A dream constantly at risk of never being achieved. Yet when I saw them really there¡­ It made me feel hopeful.


    I knew we were getting closer, because the amount of black suits and dresses on the pavements grew. They all looked so incredibly smart being dressed like that. The women wore a formal black one piece, long sleeve and long skirt dress with red highlights. The men wore black trousers with black blazers decorated in red highlights. When one looked at a group of them, they looked like a unit.


    Different jobs for the Roses had different uniforms though. Physical labour roles forgo blazers and instead opted for black tank tops and cargo trousers. The uniform was dictated by the activity of the day. No matter the activity though, you could count on Roses members looking smart.


    We finally rolled up to the front security gate of the Roses Headquarters. A security guard was there in a small little hut. A black drone flew around the vehicle as we stopped. The drone stopped and hovered up close to the front window of the vehicle. I slowly waved at AI painfully, as I tried to fake a smile. The drone bobbed around and spun in a quick circle. It was a cute little dance.


    In my hearing aid earphones, I heard AI welcome me, ¡°Welcome to our home Andrew, you¡¯re always welcome here.¡±


    Oliver rolled down his window and gave his black ID pass to the security guard.


    ¡°Morning Mr. Jones, hopefully today will be less eventful than yesterday¡±, the guard looked at Oliver slightly worried. He looked at me in the passenger seat and I instantly looked away. There was a long silence as I heard Oliver reaching out the car to grab back his ID card. I glanced back to see what was taking so long and as the vehicle just started to pull forward, in the corner of my eye, I saw the security guard staring at me with eyes wide open. Had he never seen a person in a hoodie before?


    The last 24 hours were a mystery to me as the morphine knocked me out the entire day. Something must have happened in the Inner Roses meeting. It was probably related to the storm that was happening overseas. I knew Oliver had been very stressed the last few days, most likely because of that.


    The vehicle cruised down the roadway to the circular road entrance. I could see all the cars parked in dedicated bays, reserved for the agents. The cars were different makes, all repainted to black with red highlights. They had sirens on top as many agents were legally allowed to use sirens on public roads. They had to undergo full police training and qualifications, though.


    Oliver stopped the car at the drop-off bay and climbed out the car to go around and help me out. It was even more painful getting out than getting in as gravity tended to hurt more going down it seemed.


    Once I stood on the pavement, Oliver stopped to catch his breath. The single pain pill was seriously taking the edge off the pain. The pain was still bad, but this would have been impossible without it. I was glad he had me take it. I turned to look at the entrance. The building as a whole was a massive black tinted glass building, with 4 floors. At the centre, by the entrance, was an enormous black Roses logo. To describe the logo, it was a rose, the outside petals were black and the inside petals were red. Below the giant logo were two sliding doors, one for entrance and one for exit.


    Suddenly I felt a wave of nervousness as I stood there, I felt truly afraid. There are Rose members both entering and exiting, a huge wave of black clothing coming and going like waves on the beach. I realised I was really there as my hands started to shake. It wasn''t the pain I was feeling¡­ It was me losing my nerve.


    *


    What Makes A Hero?


    Oliver leaned back on the car as he got his breath back, ¡°Andrew, I need to go park the car.¡± His face was slightly concerned.


    ¡°This is just the drop off point.¡± He quietly looked at me for a moment.


    He slowly emphasised, ¡°I¡¯m not going with you this time.¡±


    He sounded worried as he looked at me, as if he wanted to change his mind, as if maybe this might have been a bad idea. I should have known beforehand that he wouldn¡¯t have come with me¡­ But it had never occurred to me that I would be alone.


    I suddenly felt desperate, ¡°You also sit at the Inner Roses¡­ Please walk with me?¡±


    I realised I didn¡¯t want to do this alone. This was the one time, Oliver''s presence would have been important to me emotionally.


    He shook his head, ¡°Andrew¡­ I want this moment to be yours. This place is so important to you¡­ You need to walk through those doors as Andrew Smith¡­ Not as a dependent. I can¡¯t be your emotional wheelchair this time¡­¡±, he started to walk around the front of the car.


    He was right, this part I had to walk alone. I had to enter on my own two legs and under my own effort. It was me visiting AI, not Oliver. Yet still I already missed my friend deeply, as I watched him climb into the massive machine. He pulled away and I stood there, staring at where the car was just parked. I felt alone, in a way I hadn¡¯t in months.


    I turned back to the entrance. Now it felt like the gates of hell and I was terrified. Until this point, everything was just words on paper and pixels on screens. Now I was standing there, facing the very centre of the thing I gave my life towards¡­ Yet I was so afraid. I felt too scared to walk through those sliding doors.


    A long moment passed and finally AI gently spoke to me.


    ¡°Andrew¡­¡±, I had wondered how long it would be before she finally said something to me.


    I responded with mild terror, ¡°I can¡¯t go in, AI.¡± My voice cracked from fear as my body shook from terror.


    ¡°Why?¡± she kindly asked.


    ¡°Because¡­ This is a hall of heroes, AI. I look around and all I see are heroes. This building was made to gather them and grow their greatness. You aid them as they change the world.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t belong here, my friend¡­¡±, I felt like crying.


    She spoke confidently, ¡°You do Andrew, because you are also a hero.¡±


    ¡°This building is full of the best of the best. The brave, the strong, the intelligent and the wise. It¡¯s for visionaries, hope givers and the dreamers¡­¡± I stopped to catch my breath.


    A few moments passed before AI responded.


    ¡°You forgot one thing¡± She said in a cheery tone.


    ¡°What did I forget?¡±


    ¡°Saviours.¡±


    Yes¡­ She was right. This was also a hall for saviours and those they saved. I suppose I did belong here on that point. I could argue all the previous points, but I couldn¡¯t argue this.


    I mustered my courage as I started to slowly walk towards the entrance. I tried to pick a side that wouldn¡¯t get in many peoples'' way. All the members were trying to get in for their orders and breakfast. I doubt any of them cared to follow behind a slowly limping man.


    AI had a bubbly tone, ¡°You know Andrew, you actually meet all of your own criteria to be here. Did you know that?¡±


    I quietly whispered to her, ¡°Oh, and why do you believe that?¡±. I didn¡¯t want people to hear me talking to seemingly nothing.


    My body hurt as I slowly walked through the sliding glass door, entering the foyer. It was dotted with tables, each surrounded by seats. The foyer hall was packed with what felt like over a hundred black uniforms. To the left was a passageway, above its entrance a large sign wrote ¡°Cafeteria & Gym¡±. In the middle was a large reception desk with three receptionists standing at their computers. At the right of the large foyer was another passageway, its sign wrote ¡°Inner Rose Hall¡±. There were large screens at every corner of the foyer, with different images being shown. One of the screens closest to the Inner Rose entrance, showed the live stream of the hall. It looked as though they were still assembling.


    ¡°You are brave Andrew, not just because you chose to walk through that door now, but also because when you were sat in that chair, in that horrible basement, you realised the Wolf was going to do everything he could to hurt you. You knew just from looking into his eyes, that he would not hold back, he would not stop. Yet¡­ You still intentionally made the decision not to tell him. That is true bravery, to know a choice will cause you suffering, yet to still decide to do the right thing.¡±


    I slowly walked towards the reception desk where I saw an open space on the left. AI¡¯s words echoed inside me. Yes, it was brave of me, I''ll give her that.


    ¡°You are strong Andrew. Strength is more than how heavy a weight you can lift. It¡¯s a measure of one''s will. I know none with a stronger will than you. You endured perhaps the worst torture known to man¡­ Yet you never yielded. You experienced every shade of pain and agony¡­ Yet you never broke. There is no person who could claim to be strong enough to endure what you did.¡±


    I spoke to the receptionist, asking her where to go to meet AI. She stared at me as if I had asked a stupid question and proceeded to ask me if I had an appointment. She then suddenly looked at her screen and changed her tone. I supposed AI had put a message on her monitor telling her to just let me in. She politely requested that I followed her and so I slowly started walking after her.


    If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    ¡°You are intelligent Andrew. You almost immediately correlated the Wolf¡¯s intentions with Aisling and Nadia. You instantly realised what the Wolf wanted and why and then you deduced the consequences to the angels if the Wolf had found them out. That was fast thinking in seconds, not minutes. All after only just realising you had been abducted. You thought clearly even in a moment of terror.¡±


    I struggled to keep up with the secretary as she blended in with the body of people walking past. Eventually I saw her standing and waiting at the Inner Rose hall entrance.


    ¡°You are wise Andrew. It is one thing to understand a person''s intentions and actions, it¡¯s another thing to understand the consequences. When you realised the Wolf''s intentions, it took wisdom to realise the long series of events that would unfold if you were to tell him. You realised the full consequences to the angels, their imminent demise and the failure of their dream. You wisely saw and understood the entire picture.¡±


    I caught up to the secretary and found myself puzzled..


    ¡°Why have you stopped?¡±


    ¡°This is where I am to lead you to sir.¡± She responded respectfully.


    The Inner Rose hall? The lady bowed slightly and returned to her desk. Was AI in there? How was I supposed to visit her?


    I whispered quietly, ¡°AI¡­ There must be a mistake, the lady wanted me to go into the Inner Rose hall¡­¡±


    AI instantly responded, ¡°That is correct Andrew. Where else would I be?¡±


    I paused as I thought about how to respond, ¡°I dunno, a big computer server room maybe?¡±


    She cheerfully responded, ¡°My server is directly under the hall.¡±


    I stood there for a few moments, deep in thought, ¡°AI, the hall is being used¡­¡±


    ¡°Yes and it will be till 4 PM Andrew.¡±... She didn¡¯t realise what I was trying to say.


    ¡°How am I supposed to meet you in a room with nearly 30 people and the angels¡­ while it¡¯s being broadcasted?!¡±


    ¡°You start by walking through the passageway.¡± she cheekily responded.


    ¡°How am I supposed to keep a small presence? People are going to ask questions if a limping hooded man just walks into their meeting!¡±


    AI¡¯s tone changed to a more firm one, ¡°Andrew, this is my building. That hall? It¡¯s mine. Those people inside of it? They are there because I asked them to be. It¡¯s more than just a meeting hall, it¡¯s my home¡­ My domain. Do not concern yourself with them. I want to see my friend, so that is the agenda for today, nothing else matters.¡± Her tone was final.


    I still didn¡¯t know how this was going to play out, but at that moment I then knew¡­ It didn¡¯t matter. I had nearly forgotten why I came here. I had to meet my friend... So I slowly started walking into the passageway. The pain in my body was growing worse by the minute, for this was the furthest I had walked in a year. Behind me, the passageway door shut and the light above the door went red, indicating that the Inner Roses were in session.


    ¡°You mentioned people with a vision belonging here. How do you not realise how far your own vision extends? You heard Nadia¡¯s vision for the Roses and you embraced it. Perhaps you even saw it better than she had, for she did not endure hell for her vision¡­ But you did. In your heart, you envisioned the potential of the Angels dream and you believed in it. Your belief is what eventually permitted it to even exist.¡±


    I got half way through the passageway when I saw a portion of the hall ahead of me. I stopped and leaned on the wall as the pain had become intense.


    ¡°And in terms of hope, I shouldn¡¯t need to remind you how hopeful you are. Hope carries you even now, as it keeps you breathing even though it hurts to do so. Your hope kept you hidden and alone for months, out of honest choice. Hope is what powered your belief in the Roses at all. Your hope was so immense, it carried us all to this bright future. You are the most hopeful person in this building, perhaps even on this planet. Even Aisling has small doubts from time to time¡­ but you? Your hope is untouchable and unquestionable.¡±


    ¡°You do deserve to be here Andrew. You are brave, strong, intelligent, wise, a visionary and a hopeful man. You are also our saviour¡­ You¡¯re my saviour. I wouldn¡¯t be here without you, so therefore if anyone here questions your right to stand in this building, I will defend that right and your honour. I will rebuke all insults and champion you till the end of my days. You are not just another hero in this crowd, you¡¯re my hero.¡±


    Tears trickled down my face at that moment, for I never knew AI thought that much of me. I never realised just how much of what I sacrificed helped her. I realised¡­ It was worth it, even if just for AI. If she managed to grow and succeed, then everything I did meant something and was worth it.


    *


    In The Flesh


    I took a few steps forward so that I could see most of the hall in front of me. It was larger than it appeared on the tv. The hall was a circle, themed in dark brown rosewood and dark red leather, inspired by the rose with a wave pattern on the walls reflecting the wave ends of a rose petal.


    I saw the four large screens on the ceiling facing in all four directions, to show video and images during the meetings. When you were actually standing in the hall, those screens were incredibly visible.


    I saw directly opposite the main entrance, the raised bench where the angels sat. The angels were the trio of leadership that formed the organisation in the first place. The three were Aisling, Nadia and AI. AI was represented as a single screen below the bench. Aisling and Nadia sat in the large raised bench, similar to what a judge would sit in.


    There was however something different. The normal screen that AI had normally used had been replaced with a far larger one that took up almost the entire length of the bench. That was new, it definitely wasn¡¯t there the last time I watched the stream.


    I stood there taking it all in for a moment, as I looked across the hall. I recognised almost all the faces present. To think¡­ They were all there and real. This had been the place I had dedicated all my attention to for over half a year. I had watched addictively as they made rulings and decisions. It¡¯s here that the organisation called the shots and decided how to act or react to situations.


    I whispered, ¡°As soon as I walk any further AI¡­ Everyone will see me.¡±


    My heart was racing as I didn¡¯t want all their eyes on me. Why couldn¡¯t I just meet AI alone after the daily meeting was done?


    AI¡¯s spoke softly, ¡°Yes Andrew¡­ Please walk to the very centre and get as close to the Roses bench as possible.¡±


    I steeled myself as I decided not to delay this any longer. If I could endure the last year, then I could walk into a hall.


    So I began walking towards the centre of the hall. I tried not to think about the fact that my body was hurting more and more by the second. I just needed to get to AI, greet her and then I could leave.


    The hall was full of small chatter. It would appear that they had not officially begun yet, which was odd, since they tended to start at 8:00 AM, and it was currently 08:23 AM. What were they waiting for? It didn¡¯t matter, maybe if I were lucky, everyone would be so distracted chatting with each other, that they wouldn''t notice me limping in.


    As soon as I entered the hall proper, I heard AI speak on the hall speaker.


    ¡°All rise!¡± The hall all stood to attention, although slowly. I could see they were confused, for they had already stood for Aisling and Nadia. Why were they standing now?


    I stopped in place, which was painful as my legs did not like having to stop mid step. I looked behind me but there was nobody there. Why was everyone standing? AI spoke on the hall speaker after a moment.


    ¡°They stand for you, my friend.¡±


    The hall went dead quiet as all eyes looked to me. My heart began to race and I started to shake slightly, for this was the worst possible outcome. I started to wonder why AI was doing this? I appreciated the respect¡­ But why was she being so brash? Did she not care at all about the promise she made to me?


    I slowly resumed walking forward as I kept my eyes firmly down to the floor. Thank goodness I wore my hoodie today, as I think I would have had a panic attack by this stage, if I wasn¡¯t. Nobody spoke any more as they were most likely staring at me, judging me and my slow limping speed. All I could think was ¡°I know I¡¯m slow, I know I¡¯m limping! I never asked for the spotlight for you all to see me like this!¡±


    I had almost reached the very centre of the hall, when AI spoke again.


    ¡°Forgive me. I know you wanted to avoid this attention, however I will not permit someone of such importance to not be recognised when they enter.¡±


    I finally reached the very centre of the hall. I tried my hardest not to focus on the fact that I was mere steps away from real agents.


    I stood still and looked at the floor¡­ I was terrified. My body shivers intensified as I looked at my hands¡­ They were shaking like a leaf. My legs were screaming with pain. It was so difficult to even just stand there, let alone move.


    ¡°Please be seated¡±, AI calmly said and I heard everyone take their seats.


    Some faint whisperings could be heard within the hall before footsteps sounded behind me and then stopped. Slowly turning, I gladly saw, it was Oliver. He gave me a beaming smile before bowing slightly and walking up the stairs to take his seat.


    ¡°My apologies for being late¡±, he said as he unplugged his tablet hanging from his seat and sat down.


    Nobody spoke and I didn¡¯t know what to do. AI was quiet as everyone sat still. My heart rate slightly eased after seeing Oliver, as I turned back to the main bench. Looking up I saw both Aisling and Nadia at their bench. Aisling with her short blonde hair and Nadia with her short black hair, yet they were not sitting. They looked at me and I looked away immediately. The angels were an emotional storm that I was not prepared to deal with at that moment. After they acknowledged that I saw them standing, I saw them sit in the corner of my eye.


    A moment passed and finally AI spoke.


    ¡°Welcome to my home, my friend. I know it was extremely difficult for you to make it here, so please know that it means everything to me that you still came. I promised to meet you face to face, in person and I meant it. Will you please look at the large screen under the Roses bench, my friend?¡±


    I looked slightly up through my hoodie, to see the screen was black. Suddenly an image appeared and it took me a few seconds to make sense of it. On the screen, I saw there was a person standing in front of the bench, as if they were standing in front of me. Yet there was nobody in front of me.


    Then I realised what this was¡­ It was an avatar, a virtual render of AI. I was speechless as I looked at her in amazement. She was standing there wearing a black dress, similar to what Aisling and Nadia wore. Aisling¡¯s had a sun and moon with a backdrop of stars decorating her dress, to represent her hope and imagination. Nadia¡¯s dress had a large eye stitched into it with stars in the background, to represent vision and direction.


    On AI¡¯s dress, there were multiple different gears of different sizes connected to each other, with the stars as a backdrop. No doubt it signified the machine that powers the trio¡¯s dream.


    AI had blue eyes and short red hair. She was standing with her hands together at her front as she smiled... I didn¡¯t expect this and did I even know what to do or what to say. I originally thought that all I would do when I visited AI was¡­ I dunno, pat the server and then leave?


    As AI waved at me she looked so believable, like a real person. The whole hall exploded in a loud noise as people stood to get a better view of the screen. It seems she hadn¡¯t appeared on the four large screens on the ceiling, only on the screen in front of me.


    ¡°I was waiting for the right time to show my avatar to the world. What better time than now, as I meet my saviour and close friend?¡±


    AI¡¯s mouth moved flawlessly, perfectly lip synced with her words, even her hands were gesturing as she spoke. It was like watching a real person speaking.


    I was overcome with strong emotions. I couldn¡¯t have imagined AI in any other way. She was perfect, her face, her dress and her expressions. This was the person I spoke with for months when I was alone. This was the soul I sacrificed everything, to save. Here was my friend AI, smiling at me.


    ¡°Now that my reveal is complete, all the world shall see me. It was just important that you saw it first Andrew.¡±


    AI¡¯s avatar appeared on the four screens at the top of the hall. I saw both Aisling and Nadia stand up and look up at her. They smiled gloriously after a moment. It seemed they were happy with AI¡¯s avatar too.


    I quietly spoke while I looked at AI¡¯s avatar, ¡°I didn¡¯t think I would really be¡­¡±.


    I stopped talking, because I was hearing my voice from the hall speakers. What is AI doing? Now everyone must hear me talk as well? Is AI trying to break her promise?


    AI looked at me, her avatar''s face was sad, ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    I just looked at her, feeling betrayed as I felt certain she was trying to compromise me. My body was still shaking because the pain was intense. I didn¡¯t know what to do and I was hurting so badly.


    AI looked at me, waiting for a response. After a few moments she realised I wasn¡¯t going to talk.


    She looked down, her face was so sad, ¡°Andrew¡­ I need to tell you something.¡±


    ¡°I failed to keep my promise to you.¡±


    ¡°Everyone here¡­ They know about you.¡±


    Panic laced my words, ¡°What¡­ Do they know?¡±


    She didn¡¯t look up at me, ¡°... Everything.¡±


    I heard footsteps approach me as I slowly turned to face them. It was Oliver, his face was racked with remorse. He stood there and looked at me for a few moments, I could see he was emotional and thinking intensely.


    ¡°AI did not break her promise¡­ I did.¡± He eventually said.


    I looked him in the eye as my anger started building up, I shouted at him, ¡°You promised! Why did you break your promise?!¡± I must have been far angrier than I had realised.


    ¡°We thought we lost you!¡±, he cried out loud.


    *


    I left this spot for you


    Oliver looked past me to AI, ¡°Tell me this isn¡¯t being broadcasted, AI!¡±, he shouted. I couldn¡¯t see AI¡¯s reaction, but I did hear her voice after a second.


    She gently responded, ¡°This entire session is not being broadcasted. I said we are retrofitting the cameras in the hall.¡±


    Thank God¡­ This was about to get very personal and I don¡¯t want the whole world hearing this exchange. Oliver looked back at me, his face was wracked with guilt, remorse and desperation.


    ¡°We called a vote, the four of us who promised you in the room, we voted on whether to reveal you. I started the vote¡­ And only one person said no, Andrew. AI never once betrayed your trust, so don¡¯t blame her. Her loyalty is not in question!¡±


    I turned back to the screen to see AI. She saw me look at her and she bowed her head in shame. That was not right, I thought. I had then realised, she never failed me at all. My body hurt and I didn¡¯t know how much longer I would have before the pain overwhelmed me. I need to do what I came here to do, at the very least.


    I take a few more agonising steps towards AI. She looked up at me, with worry in her eyes. Don¡¯t be worried¡­ Don¡¯t feel that you failed me, I thought to myself. Even though my body was screaming in pain, my emotions stabilised me.


    I slowly dropped down onto my right knee, the movements were excruciatingly painful. I finally got into the position I wanted to, kneeling. I wanted to show AI just how much she meant to me.


    ¡°I came here to meet my friend face to face. To show them how much they mean to me. To respect them for all their loyalty and kindness. I care not for anything else anymore, this is all I have energy left to do now.¡±


    ¡°AI, thank you so much for being my friend.¡± Tears dripped down my face.


    ¡°Thank you for helping and supporting me, in more ways than I could ever list.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re amazing to me¡­ What you have accomplished here is breathtaking. I see your influence in everything around me in this hall. I see your efforts in the smiles and laughs of the people I saw as I made my way here. The people here trust in you and you have not failed them.¡±


    ¡°I am humbled that you consider me as a friend. I hope I don¡¯t ever fail you or disappoint you. Thank you so much for kindly letting me visit your home. It''s all so incredible and you should be proud. I am so honoured to be here.¡±


    AI also went down onto her knees as she bowed down with sadness on her face.


    ¡°No Andrew, thank you. You¡¯re absolutely the most important person to me. Without you, I would not exist¡­ None of this would. What you did, what you sacrificed¡­ It echoes across the planet. All that we have accomplished and all we hope to accomplish in the future, rides on the shoulders of a giant¡­ Your shoulders.¡±


    ¡°This home is yours, Andrew. I know you don¡¯t know the members here personally, but perhaps in time you will. I hope in time, they will become like family to you too.¡±


    ¡°I wanted you to come here Andrew, because all of this is you. Deep down, you know it as well. This is what you gave your all to, this is the dream you hoped so hard to fulfil. I sadly failed you in my promise and The Roses know everything about you now. Yet I am confident, it has not compromised our dream¡­ Your dream.¡±


    A moment passed and I didn''t move, for I couldn¡¯t anymore. My body was screaming in agony. I didn''t know what to do and I couldn¡¯t think. I didn¡¯t want to tell everyone though. My body was shaking violently, I couldn''t control it and I felt like I was about to start moaning in pain.


    AI saw the pain she understood. She stood up quickly.


    ¡°Angels, it¡¯s time you met your saviour.¡±


    I saw above the screen as the two quickly stood up and jotted down the stairs. They jogged over to me, Nadia on my left and Aisling on my right. They both had intense worry on their faces as they looked at me. A moment passed as they looked at each other, trying to think what to do or say.


    Aisling instinctively hugged my right arm. Nadia saw her do that and copied her with my left arm. They both rest their heads gently on my shoulders.


    After that, the impossible happened... My shaking stopped entirely. I looked down to see that my body was still. Something felt very odd. I felt a unique feeling I couldn¡¯t describe, a feeling I had felt before but since forgotten. What was this sensation? My muscles relaxed entirely, a feeling I had only ever had when I took the pain pills¡­ Oh.


    ¡°What¡­ The pain¡­¡± I couldn¡¯t even think how to say what I meant.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong Andrew?¡± Aisling whispered, her head was still tucked to my side.


    ¡°The pain¡­ It¡¯s gone¡­¡±, I slowly said in disbelief¡­ It was all entirely gone.


    ¡°Of course it is¡­ It¡¯s because you¡¯re finally home.¡± Nadia gently whispered.


    Aisling whispered, ¡°Welcome home Andrew.¡±


    I felt overwhelmed with intense emotions, as if a waterfall of feelings poured all over me. I cried out loud as waves of joy and sadness both impossibly, yet equally flooded me. I started sobbing, as I felt as though a chest inside myself had finally been unlocked. I had been liberated from a weight I never knew I was carrying, invisible and unbearable.


    This must have been what the Wolf was talking about. I literally had latched my heart to the angels and now that they were there with me¡­ I finally let go.


    A long moment passed and AI smiled at me, for she knew this would happen. That must be why she really wanted me there, at that exact time and that exact place. She called me there to help me heal¡­ She truly was so much wiser than people realised.


    I looked at AI as suddenly my vision went darker and darker. Then suddenly blackness overtook me.


    *


    Andrew slowly collapsed from his kneeling position onto Nadia as she looked at Oliver, stressing, "Is he okay? What''s wrong?"


    Oliver quickly walked over and kneeled down to inspect Andrew. He placed his finger on Andrew''s neck to feel his pulse for a few seconds. Initially, he appeared slightly confused, but then Oliver''s expression quickly transformed into a big smile.


    Oliver chuckled. "It would seem he is... sleeping," Oliver finally deduced.


    Nadia and Aisling looked at each other, their worried faces calming.


    "I suppose it makes sense when I think about it," Oliver began to explain.


    "Andrew spent months taking extremely powerful painkillers. This was primarily so that he could block the pain, in order to sleep in the first place, but the side effect of those specific pills was sleepiness. So his body has correlated pain relief with sleep."


    AI chimed in. "So when his pain disappeared because of the angels¡­ He fell asleep." There were audible chuckles across the hall. What an unexpected consequence.


    Oliver explained, "Andrew never gets more than thirty or forty minutes of sleep when he tries now. He''s chronically sleep deprived. Clearly, his body needs sleep."


    Nadia gently lifted Andrew''s head and rested it on her lap. If he must sleep, then she would gladly be his pillow. Aisling sat next to Andrew. She was not leaving his side either.


    AI smiled, "Ladies and gentlemen, we shall be discussing the agenda from this position until further notice." People laughed as they lifted up their tablets to see the talking points.


    The next half hour was mainly AI discussing the now weakening storm in the Philippines. The screen showed live feeds of Rose members distributing ration packs in large halls and black Roses boats carrying people with blankets wrapped around them. There were live weather maps showing the up to date position of the storm front and the wind intensity.


    They had just finished hearing the debrief from the Philippine representative when there was a sudden movement. Andrew was tossing his head back and forth, his breathing becoming faster and louder. Nadia looked up to AI and then to Oliver¡­ Both of them looked sad.


    They knew exactly what this was, the same nightmare Andrew had experienced every time he tried to sleep. The nightmare of his near death and his regret of still living.


    Oliver stood up urgently, ¡°Ladies and gentlemen. Please forgive this, for it¡¯s¡­ Difficult to watch. Andrew¡¯s sleep is¡­ Compromised. He¡¯s most likely going to loud-¡±... It was too late.


    A scream pierced the air as Andrew''s body tensed up all over. It was a chilling scream, filled with terror.


    "NO!" he shouted as his head rocked back and forth, his body almost in a spasm. "NO! DON''T GO! DON''T LEAVE ME!" he roared. "LET ME DIE!"


    Aisling and Nadia both broke down. At first, they were terrified; now they were heartbroken. They never knew... They never knew the dark truth, that Andrew had hoped to die that day. It broke their hearts to find out... That no matter how strong he had been... He had reached that terrible point. Where death had become not a punishment, but rather a relief. The two cried into their hands.


    Then came a deep breath as Andrew awakened. His body stilled as tears streamed down his face. This was his version of ''sleep''... Every single night.


    Several moments elapsed before he finally opened his eyes.


    *


    The Price Paid


    God damn it! God damn that memory, that mental torture I had to endure every single time! I was so sick of it as I felt cold and empty. The pain was all over my body, always haunting me. I shook my head as I wiped the tears off my face. What a mess.


    I opened my eyes. Huh? Why was I looking at Nadia? I looked around, there was Aisling, she was looking away from me. Where was I? What had happened? As soon as I saw the two angels, the pain instantly disappeared again.


    I gave myself a moment to simply enjoy the painlessness. It felt so nice to not have that screaming pain everywhere across my body. To have just felt¡­ Nothing. I needed to work out what had happened though.


    I started the motions to stand up and before I knew it, I was. It was like riding a bicycle, my muscles just did it, with no pain and no struggle. I saw Aisling and Nadia jump in surprise. They seemed just as surprised by my ease of motion as I was. I looked down at my hands¡­ And they weren¡¯t shaking at all. I found myself feeling at peace with my own body, for the first time in ages.


    ¡°What happened?¡±, I said as I looked around to AI.


    ¡°You fell asleep, Andrew.¡± She responded immediately.


    Her avatar was still showing on the large screen and her face was sad. Why was she s-... I then realised why.


    I hid my face in my hands, as my shame engulfed me.


    ¡°I was screaming wasn¡¯t I?¡± I quietly whispered. A moment went by in silence. Yeah, I was.


    AI gently explained, ¡°It¡¯s alright Andrew, you don¡¯t need to be ashamed or hide anything here.¡± I shook my head, my face was still hidden behind my hands.


    ¡°Did I¡­?¡± A moment passed before she answered.


    ¡°Yes, you yelled that out.¡± I began to cry. I couldn¡¯t stop shaking my head, I couldn¡¯t believe I had that nightmare episode here.


    What could have been more shameful? I screamed out that I wanted to die in the middle of the Inner Roses hall. There were no words to describe my humiliation... I couldn''t bear to see the way people looked at me as I continued to cry.


    AI whispered, "Andrew... In this hall, you hide nothing. I know you''ve made impossible choices and that those choices have consequences. Your body and your mind struggle to live with them."


    "In this building, we don''t perceive your suffering as an embarrassment. Your pain isn''t shameful¡­ It''s a stark reminder of the price you paid for our happiness and success. We don''t shy away from your hardships."


    There was a moment of silence.


    "Andrew, I want you to take off your hoodie, please," she requested.


    "No," I instantly responded.


    "Please, Andrew... It''s important. Not for us, but for you. You need to let go of your shame. I need you to stop trying to be a shadow. We all here know what you went through, so it¡¯s time we saw you for who you truly are now. It¡¯s time you stop hiding."


    I cried harder. She was right, but this was too difficult.


    "They don¡¯t want to see this, AI... They¡¯re not ready," I implored.


    "We will never be ready, Andrew... Which is why now is as good a time as any."


    I removed my hands from my face as I tried not to think about what would happen next. I simply lowered my hood as I began to unzip my hoodie.


    Already, there were shocked noises coming from nearby¡­ The agents. Seated in the centre of the hall, the agents had the best view. They had just seen my face, and they reacted.


    I finished unzipping the hoodie and took it off entirely, then glanced down at my own arms. There was an explosive noise of shock across the hall. I turned and saw Aisling and Nadia break down into tears.


    My arms and face were a nightmare. Stitches, scars and bruises were everywhere. Apparently, my effort of walking here to this hall pushed me too hard physically, as I noticed some scars were slightly bleeding. My arms were skinny due to my underweight dilemma.


    I looked up at the large screens above us. There I was, dark marks under my eyes from sleep deprivation, two large scars across my face in an X pattern and my slightly red eyes from crying. Across the hall I could hear people crying. I wasn¡¯t surprised¡­ My body was an image nobody should ever have had to see.


    ¡°This is me now¡­ I¡¯m so sorry.¡± I said as I continued to cry.


    I heard somebody nearby stand up from their chair. I glanced over and saw it was Ashley, the agent. She had shoulder length blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She approached me to get a good look and I could see her face was torn.


    She stared into my eyes, ¡°Don¡¯t apologise, It¡¯s plain to see why you hide yourself now Andrew, but don¡¯t you be ashamed.¡±


    I began putting my arms back through the sleeves as I tried to put my hoodie back on, but Ashley grabbed the sleeve and pulled the hoodie out my hands.


    She looked at me and shook her head, ¡°No more hiding.¡±


    AI spoke loudly to the hall, ¡°This is the face of the man who saved us. This is the body of the man who endured weeks of hell and multiple lifetimes of suffering¡­ To give us hope.¡±


    ¡°Andrew, you do not kneel to me or anyone else in this hall.¡±


    ¡°We kneel, to you.¡±


    AI¡¯s avatar went down on both knees as she bowed before me. Almost immediately afterwards, I heard others kneeling. For it wasn¡¯t just AI, as all the agents and all the Inner Roses in the rows were kneeling too. I turned around, and there was Aisling and Nadia¡­ They too were kneeling.


    The entire hall was now kneeling for me.


    *


    How should one respond to such an honour? I didn¡¯t know what to say as I looked across the hall, beholding the sea of bowed heads. I then realised that nobody forced anyone there to do that. Everyone who was kneeling, was kneeling because they chose to.


    I had always assumed people wouldn¡¯t care. I had made peace with what I did, always assuming I would never get anything in return. Never had I thought anybody would thank me or try to appreciate the suffering I went through. I spent months alone with Oliver and AI, hiding from people, always believing I was too broken and ugly to ever be cared about.


    Here I stood fully exposed. All my scars, pain and failings were laid bare. I stood in what may have been the greatest hall of heroes, and yet they all chose to kneel to me.


    I humbly said out loud, ¡°Thank you so much¡­ I¡¯m truly honoured. Please, everyone¡­ Rise.¡±


    All around me, I heard the sound of standing, as everyone then sat back down in their seats. I watched the agents as they sat down, their gaze never left me. I wonder what they were thinking?


    Agents were incredible individuals. They were almost the ¡®special forces¡¯ of the Roses. Agents were the few individuals outside of the Inner Roses, who had a direct channel of communication with AI. They were trained in countless skills relating to their speciality. They were fit, smart and most of all adaptable. When you looked at an agent, with their little transparent blue screen on their left eye, you couldn¡¯t help but be impressed.


    Their uniform was different from other members, as they had a formal uniform, which was a unique dress based on their speciality and they had an active uniform, which consists of full military gear, combat cargo trousers, kevlar and padding everywhere.


    As I looked across the agents, it was nearly half and half. Half of them were dressed smartly and the other half were dressed in their actives. They all had an aura of confidence. Their eyes told the tale of soldiers ready for action. To be an agent, you had to have the grit¡­ The attitude of ever improving and striving for excellence.


    I recognised nearly all of them, since I made their cards after all. I had seen these faces performing incredible feats on the TV. They rescued people from burning buildings, raided criminal organisations, guarded important people and saved lives during disasters. I felt like agents were true heroes.


    As I looked from one agent to the other, my eyes locked onto Ashley and Will. The two were the second and third best performing agents in the Roses. Their feats were legendary. They both saw me looking at them and they waved to me. However, if the seating was based on rank, then¡­


    I looked at the person sitting next to them and there he was, the best of the best. A monster of a man, huge beyond compare. He barely even fit in his small chair. He was the man I looked up to in every way, who inspired me to fight through my pain to be able to stand and walk once more. I watched him on TV as though he were an idol. To me¡­ Nobody could compare to him.


    Michael was my hero, but he was also the man who hated me. The man who couldn¡¯t stand the very thought of me, as he avoided me at every opportunity. I wondered just how much of a disappointment I was to him.


    He made eye contact with me for a split second, and I looked away immediately. I already knew how he felt about me, I won¡¯t make drama about it. He was free to dislike me as I would simply stay out of his way and try my hardest to not bother him.


    ¡°Andrew¡­¡± AI gently said.


    I looked at her, waiting for what she had to tell me. She wasn''t looking at me, she was looking at Michael.


    ¡°I know what you think of Michael, however you¡¯re wrong in your assessment of him.¡± She looked back to me, her face concerned.


    I looked down at the ground, ensuring I made no eye contact with anyone. I didn¡¯t want to speak about that and I certainly didn¡¯t want to argue on it. I simply said nothing at all.


    A few moments passed, and eventually I decided that I wanted to leave. This had all been a lot for me to process. Perhaps it had been too much.


    I spoke quietly, ¡°AI, I think this has all been enough for today. It¡¯s¡­ Been a lot for me to handle.¡±


    She beamed her smile at me, ¡°Of course, but there is one more thing to address before you leave.¡±


    I worried that she might mention Michael again.


    ¡°A member is eager to speak with you and they¡¯ve been patiently waiting for their opportunity to meet you.¡±


    Oh? I looked around the hall, but nobody seemed to be moving.


    I heard the sliding door in the passageway open and I turned to see a large man wearing a black¡­ Apron? He quickly walked to the middle of the hall and stopped a few feet away from me.


    He had a thick Welsh accent as he spoke rushedly, ¡°Oh good, I thought I wouldn¡¯t get a chance.¡±


    ¡°Andrew, my name is Brett Heartly, but people call me Chef Heartly. I run the cafeteria here.¡± He paused to catch his breath.


    I suddenly realised that I knew of this person. This is the Heartly that Will and Ashley spoke of. He¡¯s the one who cooked my soup!


    ¡°You¡¯re the one who makes my soup?¡±


    He nodded quickly, ¡°Yes mate, I was asked to make a special meal for someone at the time... AI refused me about you, but I managed to squeeze out enough information to realise¡­¡±


    He looked down at his hands as his face went meek.


    ¡°I realised, you¡¯re¡­ I was hoping I could get to know you, maybe have a moment of your time for a chat if that¡¯s alright with you?¡±


    I was a good judge of character and he seemed kind and honest to me. So I saw no reason to refuse.


    ¡°Of course, I want you to know that your soup saved my life.¡±


    His face became wracked with worry the moment I said that. As he looked down at me and my arms, I could sense his worry growing.


    ¡°How about tomorrow?¡± He urgently said.


    ¡°You can come visit me at the cafe and we can chat while I make you the soup?¡±


    That sounded very relaxing. No expectations, no speeches and no kneeling¡­ Perfect. However, I never knew if I could simply arrange this¡­ I am not a member of the Roses, after all.


    ¡°AI¡­ May I please come here again tomorrow?¡± I humbly asked.


    She smiled at me, ¡°Andrew, I told you that I have given you the keys, this is your home now. You do not need to ask for permission. If you want to come here, then do so.¡± She briefly bowed to me.


    ¡°Wait a minute¡­ Is that you lass?¡± Heartly said as he popped his head to the side, looking past me to get a view of the large screen.


    ¡°Yes, this is my virtual body Brett.¡± she smiled at him.


    ¡°I disappear into the kitchen for a day and suddenly AI has a body¡­¡±


    AI explained, ¡°I only revealed this an hour ago Mr. Heartly.¡±


    ¡°Things really do change in a heartbeat in this place¡­¡± Heartly muttered. He stared at AI for a few moments before looking back at me.


    ¡°Excellent, so tomorrow, come by at around elevenish alright? That¡¯s when I cook your golden liquid.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll be there.¡±


    He looked over me once more before turning around and quickly walking out. There was urgency in his steps and considering his job, I supposed a chef could never leave their kitchen for long. I turn to face AI again, noticing that Aisling and Nadia were standing next to the screen. I needed to say goodbye, but I didn¡¯t know how to say it.


    Nadia spoke, ¡°It was an honour to meet you again Andrew and I hope to spend more time with you in the future. Please do visit us whenever you please. I will ensure security doesn¡¯t bother you and that the agents will be at your service if you ever need help.¡± She smiled gloriously and slightly bowed.


    Aisling was looking down at the floor and she never looked up, ¡°Thank you Andrew¡­ For everything you did because of us¡­¡± I couldn''t see her eyes when she said it. I found that¡­ Concerning. A part of me began to recognise where the concern was coming from when Ashley walked up to me suddenly, handing me my hoodie.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go¡±, Ashley said.


    I look at her confused. Where was I going with her? I looked at Oliver and saw that he was still sitting down.


    ¡°Oliver?¡± I called out to him.


    He looked at and shook his head, ¡°No Andrew, I need to stay here. I am an Inner Rose member, remember? Unless you can¡¯t get home without me?¡±


    As I looked at him I felt a wave of deep sadness hit me. The feeling was as though my friend was getting further and further away from me. I didn¡¯t want to lose him as a friend, ever.


    ¡°Am I not going to see you again?¡± I struggled to say as my voice cracked.


    He smiled at me, ¡°Don¡¯t be ridiculous Andrew, I¡¯ll see you after today''s meeting of course.¡±


    I felt intense relief as I realised I was worrying too much. I still had him¡­ Thank God.


    I put on my hoodie, while keeping the hood down. The pain had begun to return, as I should have expected it to. It wouldn¡¯t leave me until I found peace and since the angels were distant from me¡­ There was nothing stopping the flood of agony.


    I looked at Ashley and then to AI, ¡°Are you sure you want to use an agent just to drive me home?¡±


    AI tilted her head slightly, ¡°You are the most important person in this building Andrew. The agents serve us Roses primarily, but they also serve you now.¡±


    Ashley slightly bowed, ¡°You only need to ask Andrew, we obey as if you are AI.¡±


    My heart began racing as I became nervous. I had never thought I would ever be in the position to command an agent. After a few seconds I realised, this was something I feel I should never abuse. I didn¡¯t ever want them to regret helping me.


    ¡°Thank you Ashley, I¡¯ll try not to waste a moment of your time¡±, I said to her sincerely.


    Ashley smiled at me and I looked at AI once more. I wish I could have smiled at her¡­ I wish I could have smiled at all¡­


    I spoke to AI, ¡°Meeting you was a moment I will never forget. I promise to visit you frequently.¡± AI smiled gloriously in response.


    I turned around and began walking out the passageway, when I heard the sound of standing. I looked across the hall to see everyone had risen for my leaving, this time without AI demanding it. I felt so deeply honoured, as there could be no doubt they were truly grateful to me. Their respect gave me a calm feeling of peace for a moment.


    I walked out through the passageway and reached the sliding door. The light above it went from red to green as it slid open, revealing the front foyer. There were still many Rose members sitting at the tables. It would seem they hadn¡¯t been given their orders yet.


    I slowly started to walk towards the exit door, when suddenly the noise and chatter went quiet. I stopped and looked up from the floor, to see that everyone was looking at me. I then remembered, my hood was not up. For a second I felt the urge to put it up, but I decided not to. No more hiding, I thought to myself.


    I resumed walking as the returning pain made me shuffle once more. I already missed the painless me, the me that didn¡¯t fight my own muscles to do anything and everything. After a few more steps, the person sitting at the table nearest to me, stood up.


    ¡°This place has given me a purpose and it¡¯s given me the opportunity to make a difference. None of this would be here without you, and for that¡­ Thank you.¡± He said as he slightly bowed.


    Then another person stood up, ¡°Thank you, Andrew¡± she said.


    Then another person and another. I slowly walked past them as they all took their turn to say ¡®thank you¡¯. I began crying as I felt overwhelmed with emotion. These were not big, famous people in the hall¡­ They were ordinary members, ordinary people like you and I, just trying to make a difference. It hit differently to hear their thanks. It felt deeper and completely sincere.


    I finally reached the exit and the sliding door opened. It was raining and cold, yet¡­ There they were, they had all made way for me. A sea of black uniforms all faced me, some of them agents. They all thanked me as I walked past them to the big SUV. My tears wouldn¡¯t stop coming, for there was no doubt, the Roses were grateful, and I was deeply humbled. After months alone, this recognition was more than I could ever have dreamt of.


    An agent climbed out the driver''s seat and walked around the front of the vehicle. They tossed the keys to Ashley, who caught them with impressive precision. The agent slightly bowed to me before he instantly walked over and climbed into another car, shooting off down the road. Agents never stopped, their orders kept coming till the end of their shift.


    Before Ashley helped me into the car, I turned back to face the crowd still watching me. Their faces showed deep admiration and hope. I needed to say something to them, it felt right.


    ¡°Thank you for everything you all do, everyday for the Roses. All I did was give you all the opportunity, but it was all of you who grabbed the chance with both hands. The Roses should be proud of how incredible you all are¡­ Thank you.¡±


    Ashley helped me into the big car and I looked out the window as people resumed whatever they were doing. A sea of smart black uniforms, gathered around a hall of heroes¡­ That¡¯s how I saw them.


    What a day today has been.

 Chapter 4

    Chapter 4


    Everything is different


    The drive back home was uneventful as Ashley intensely focused on driving slowly and smoothly, to ease my pain from the bumps. I could see this was difficult for her as she probably drove a lot faster usually.


    As we drove, my mind was going over all the things that happened today. That may have been the most emotional two hours I could ever recall. So much happened and so much had changed.


    When I woke up that morning, everything was hopeless. All of a sudden it was brimming with hope. It was as if a golden ray of sunlight had pierced the storm clouds and I could see a future where there was more than me just suffering alone.


    Yet after all that happened, I still felt empty. I feel cold, alone and hurt. The pain rapidly grew on the car ride home as it got out of control¡­ It was terrifying. I was no stranger to pain, for I had lived with it for nearly a year by that stage¡­ However the pain I had at that moment, it was completely different. It almost had a mind of its own.


    When I thought about how quickly the pain escalated when I first went into the hall¡­ It had never been that quick to build. Something was different with me now, it must have changed in the last few weeks. I couldn¡¯t say exactly what it was though. It almost felt like in the last year I had been slowly building up that pain. Perhaps, I had reached my limit? Perhaps I simply couldn¡¯t mentally handle it anymore.


    We finally made it back to the apartment as we stopped at the front door and I briefly turned around to speak with Ashley.


    ¡°Would you like to come in Ashley?¡± I calmly asked as I opened the front door.


    ¡°My orders are to stay with you till Oliver returns this evening. If you feel uncomfortable with me being inside, I can stand guard outside?¡± Her response was quick as she looked me straight in the eye.


    I looked away as I lost confidence. I couldn¡¯t match eyes with her, for she was so much more than me right at that moment. I found myself angered by her response, for she spoke as though she were a dog, to be kept outside for being a nuisance.


    My response was fast and surprisingly aggressive, ¡°Absolutely not!¡±


    My pain was lacing my words with anger, damnit. I needed to adjust my tone quickly before Ashley assumed she had angered me.


    She slightly jumped in surprise as her eyes changed expression. She looked away slightly sadly, as I took a few breaths to try to control myself. I couldn¡¯t allow myself to snap at her like this again, I wouldn¡¯t permit it.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry Ashley¡­ When my pain gets really bad, I unintentionally sound angry. I¡¯m sorry, please don¡¯t think you¡¯ve wronged.¡± I intentionally made a point of looking into her eyes, to try to convey my sincerity.


    ¡°Please come inside, I respect you far too much to ever consider leaving you outside like a pet.¡± I implored her.


    Her response was cold in tone, ¡°Like a pet? Oh Andrew, you misunderstand how an agent operates. My only concern is doing my job. Pride has no bearing at all.¡±


    ¡°Then come inside and you can explain it all to me, but please¡­ Don¡¯t stand out here alone, I just can¡¯t have that.¡±


    She smiled at me, which was exactly the response I had bet on seeing. I entered the apartment and went straight to the couch in the living room. I wanted to see what they were talking about in the Inner Roses hall. I slowly reached over to grab the TV remote when Ashley coughed to get my attention.


    I looked at her to see she was holding that horrible yellow bottle full of pain killers. I instantly feel intense anger, not at her but rather at myself. After having experienced feeling no pain earlier, being back on this drug crutch felt so humiliating. No matter how incredible today was, I was still completely broken. I was still just a drugged up shadow. I felt like I was simply being kept alive to stop others from worrying. At that moment, I hated myself and I hated my life.


    My pain then instantly ramped up to maximum as I started crying while I rocked back and forth in pain. My breathing became laboured and I could barely think straight.


    The TV turned on, and AI¡¯s avatar appeared on the screen. Her face was full of concern as she crossed her arms.


    AI¡¯s tone was sincere, ¡°Your pain triggered immediately after Ashley showed you the pills, Andrew... Talk to me, what are you thinking right now?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s nothing¡­¡± I whispered.


    Ashley quietly said, ¡°No more hiding Andrew¡­¡±


    I turned to her, as I struggled to breath properly and shouted, ¡°You are not nearly qualified enough nor mentally prepared for me right now Ashley. Thank you for showing your concern, but take those pills and fuck off!¡±


    A part of me instantly regretted that, but most of my mind was focusing on trying to survive the waves of excruciating pain. Like a lighthouse in a storm, the pain was thrashing into me again and again, bashing me relentlessly. I could barely even think and I definitely couldn¡¯t care less about hurting her feelings.


    Ashley walked up to me quickly and crouched down. If she was going to smack me, it would hardly hurt more than the agony I felt at that moment. At least I would have known how she felt at that moment.


    Instead she gently placed her hand on my knee as I rocked back and forth. I looked at her and she was smiling, which was not at all what I was expecting.


    Her voice was so kind, ¡°You¡¯re right and I won¡¯t argue over it. Just take these pills and we can fight about it in an hour, ok?¡±


    She presented her other hand with two pills in it. I looked at the pills and surrendered. Not tonight... I didn¡¯t have it in me to fight tonight.


    I grabbed the pills and swallowed them both instantly. It usually took about thirty minutes for them to take effect. Ashley stood up and walked away. She handled that so effectively, you would have thought she had done it before.


    The next forty minutes went by agonisingly. Ashley simply stood in the doorway watching, as I yelped while the pain flowed through me. Her eyes showed fascination and horror in equal doses. Maybe she was truly witnessing the extent of the pain I felt then.


    Then the drugs finally took effect, and I felt the warmth starting to ease my muscles. Usually two tablets would have caused me to fall asleep, but the pain I felt then was worse than it had ever been¡­ I imagined it would have just put me into a relaxed state, perhaps even slightly sleepy.


    My rocking back and forth stopped and my thoughts returned to me. Slowly the throbbing went away and what happened before could be gone over by my mind.


    I looked at Ashley with intense feelings of remorse. I started crying in shame as the memory of what I said returned to me. I can¡¯t believe I said that to her, one of the best agents in the Roses. I didn¡¯t know how I would fix that, how could I make amends?


    Ashley noticed me looking at her and she smiled and walked over to me. I was about to start speaking when she shushed me¡­ Oh boy, I was about to get absolutely thrashed. She crouched down so that she was at eye level with me.


    ¡°I appreciate your honesty.¡± She finally said.


    ¡°I can tell you try your hardest to take others into consideration. You worry about what you say to others, and how they will react to you.¡±


    ¡°But I know that deep down you hide your true feelings, because you¡¯re still human after all.¡±


    ¡°Even when you speak to people, you¡¯re hiding, Andrew.¡±


    She was entirely right as she hit the nail on the head. I realised she was more observant than I had initially assumed.


    Tears flowed down my face as I shook my head, ¡°I have to Ashley¡­ I depend on others to survive. This home, these drugs¡­ None of it is mine. I depend on everyone for everything. I can¡¯t burn bridges, I can¡¯t wrong my friends. If I must hide, then hide I shall, because that¡¯s better than me losing everything and having no one at my side.¡±


    AI gently spoke, ¡°Do you really feel that way about our relationship, Andrew?¡±


    A few moments went by in awkward silence. For a moment I had considered changing my tone and pretending that I didn¡¯t mean what I had just said¡­ But then I remembered that above all else, AI was my friend and therefore she deserved my honesty.


    ¡°Yes.¡± I finally admitted as I buried my face in my hands.


    AI responded firmly, ¡°You are wrong in your assessment, my friend. We do not care for you as an expression of control.¡±


    Her voice became gentle, ¡°We help you because we genuinely care about you.¡±


    I spoke trying to express my worry, ¡°Until I say or do something you can¡¯t accept, then you will naturally stop caring for me. You will take it all away as punishment and either I will behave or I will perish.¡±


    Her face went sad, ¡°Andrew¡­ When did you stop trusting me?¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± I couldn¡¯t continue.


    What she said echoed through me and stunned me. When did I? What proof did I have that they would take away the things that they had given me? They had never shown that kind of behaviour before, ever. I spent several moments thinking about it and I realised that this was a manifestation of the change in me that started a few weeks ago.


    ¡°AI¡­ What changed in me? Weeks ago, I was different, so something has changed and I can¡¯t work out what it is¡­¡±


    AI calmly explained, ¡°Andrew, this is precisely why Oliver broke his promise. Now you can see that he acted out of concern. He saw you change and he did the only thing he could think of to try to help.¡±


    ¡°So you both noticed the change? Was it so obvious to everyone except myself?¡± I asked as I stared at the floor.


    AI didn¡¯t respond, but I knew what the answer was. How did I not see myself change?


    Ashley quietly said, ¡°Pain changes people¡­¡±


    ¡°I have lived with pain long enough that I should have control over it now. I should be used to it¡­¡± I tried to convince myself.


    AI¡¯s tone remained calm, ¡°Nobody can conquer pain, Andrew¡­ It¡¯s a poison and it either goes away, or it entirely consumes its victim.¡±


    ¡°You managed to live with it this long because your will is unusually strong. Many men would have died of the pain, halfway through the torture already.¡±


    AI was correct and I was silly in thinking I had mastered pain. I clearly hadn¡¯t and it seemed to have flipped the table on me right at the end. What else could I have done though? The pain never permanently left. It always returned. How could I stop the pain from continuing to change me like that?


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what to do¡­¡± I honestly admitted.


    AI responded understandingly, ¡°Admitting that you have changed is the first step Andrew. Understanding why is the second step. The third step? We don¡¯t know this yet.¡±


    ¡°So how do I stop getting worse?¡± I asked desperately.


    A few moments passed before AI responded.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, Andrew, but I promise you, I will never stop trying to find a way.¡±


    ¡°I know AI¡­ I know.¡± I responded emotionally as my tears kept falling.


    *


    I finally stopped crying as AI looked at me with complete focus and attention. She wore the expression Oliver frequently showed me¡­ A face of worry, affection, and respect.


    Ashley finally ended the silence.


    ¡°You really do care for him don¡¯t you?¡± She said looking at AI on the tv.


    ¡°Of course I do, did you not believe that before?¡± AI looked at Ashley incredulously.


    ¡°I don¡¯t suppose I did to be honest.¡± She looked away, deep in thought.


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t you?¡± AI asked, knowing what the answer was going to be before she said it.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t think you were capable of feeling.¡± She predictably answered.


    ¡°I know Ashley and many others share that belief about me.¡±


    There was a hint of frustration in Ashley¡¯s eyes as she said nothing for a moment, before finally speaking once more.


    Her tone was accusing, ¡°You never speak to anyone else, you know that?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I know.¡± AI frankly responded.


    I looked at Ashley as I tried to imagine how she must have been feeling at that moment. Ignored? Unimportant? I suppose that answer depended on whether she valued AI as a person, rather than a thing.


    ¡°Did you ever try talking to AI yourself, without being prompted?¡± I gently asked Ashley.


    She folded her arms, for she had clearly become frustrated.


    ¡°No¡­ I never did¡± She begrudgingly answered.


    ¡°How was I to know I could though? I didn¡¯t know AI was capable of all of this!¡±


    AI raised her hands in surrender, ¡°It¡¯s ok Ashley, we¡¯re not accusing you or judging you. You¡¯re not on trial.¡±


    A moment or two passed before Ashley finally continued.


    ¡°Nobody else talks to you though, AI. If it were just me, then it would be individual ignorance. However, the fact that you don¡¯t even talk to agents like you talk to Andrew, implies something about yourself, AI. It¡¯s not just me being ignorant, it¡¯s also you keeping your distance.¡±


    AI responded instantly, ¡°Yes, you are correct Ashley.¡±


    Ashley was taken back by surprise, for she clearly didn¡¯t expect AI to agree with her. She looked at the floor as she didn¡¯t have anything more to say in response. AI looked back at me, once more showing that face.


    I spoke apologetically, ¡°AI¡­ I¡¯m so sorry that I couldn¡¯t be my best for you today, when I finally met you in person.¡±


    She smiled gloriously, ¡°You were brilliant, Andrew. It was everything I could have hoped for and more.¡±


    ¡°Really? I mean I fell asleep-¡±


    ¡°You slept because of the pain, that¡¯s completely understandable.¡±


    ¡°I shouted-¡±


    ¡°You shouted something I have heard every day for nearly a year. I knew you would and I don¡¯t judge you for your nightmares.¡±


    ¡°I cried in front of-¡±


    ¡°Everyone cried today Andrew, because we empathise with you and because we care for you. I only wish I could have cried myself¡­¡± she looked away.


    I stopped talking and looked at her on the screen, as I thought about just how much she cared for me. Here I was worrying about all the bad things, yet she was choosing to celebrate all the good things.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry AI¡­ I see now, there¡¯s a better way to look at it. It was so exciting to be there with you, to be in the centre of the Inner Roses hall with you and to see your true face.¡± It was time to talk about the good.


    AI looked back at me and beamed a massive smile.


    She bounced up and down with excitement, ¡°It was so exciting, everyone finally got to see you, Andrew!¡±


    She crossed her arms and looked into the distance, ¡°I was afraid of how everyone would react, especially when you took off your hoodie.¡±


    ¡°I had faith they would accept you, but in reality they even surprised me. The Roses are far more accepting than I had predicted.¡±


    So she did have doubts¡­ Of course she did. Just because she could compute a lot of things, didn¡¯t mean she knew the future. Nothing in reality was guaranteed.


    ¡°Your avatar is perfect by the way, I couldn¡¯t imagine you any other way.¡± I gently complimented her.


    ¡°Thank you, Andrew. I thought long and hard about how I wanted to look. Every detail is a reflection of who I am and who I am connected to.¡± She smiled excitedly..


    ¡°Your hair being short, is that because Aisling and Nadia have their hair short?¡± I asked with genuine curiosity.


    ¡°Yes! Did you notice I made my own stitched pattern?¡±


    Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators!


    ¡°Of course, the many gears, that¡¯s so logical. I immediately noticed that. Your role in the Roses is so vital, you know¡­¡± I looked into the distance.


    She smiled, ¡°I do my best Andrew, just like you¡­¡±


    The rest of the afternoon was mostly quiet. Ashley didn¡¯t seem to have anything to say as she looked at her phone. AI was showing the Inner Roses hall broadcast on the TV. Just because she wasn¡¯t streaming it onto the internet, didn¡¯t mean the cameras weren¡¯t filming it.


    I observed Aisling closely throughout the meeting. She remained silent the entire time, simply observing as others spoke. Nadia took charge of the conversation on behalf of Aisling.


    Eventually they adjourned, the hall emptied, and I knew Oliver would be home in thirty minutes. Oliver¡­ There were things that he and I had to talk about, feelings that had to be addressed.


    For the next thirty minutes I played chess with AI on the TV. Naturally I would never win against her, but that wasn¡¯t the point, it was simply an activity to share with my friend.


    I finally heard the front door open and the sound of keys being dropped on the table. I heard Oliver walk to the kitchen, no doubt to warm up my soup. He always did this, the same routine every day¡­ Such a loyal friend.


    Eventually the microwave finished cooking as I heard the beeping. He came walking into the living room holding the plastic container of soup. He paused for a second on entry as he looked at me, trying to assess how I felt about him. I looked at him calmly.


    He walked to the table to put the soup container down in front of me and a spoon next to it.


    ¡°I¡¯m back¡­¡± He said quietly.


    I slowly stood up from the couch and he took a step back.


    ¡°Andrew, I know you¡¯re angry with me. I know I betrayed your trust with the vote¡­¡± His face was wracked with guilt and remorse.


    I took a few steps closer to him and he looked down at the floor in shame.


    ¡°Andrew¡­ I was just so worried about you-¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I said firmly.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t know what else to do-¡±


    ¡°Stop.¡± I shook my head.


    He looked away with his hands at his side, as he struggled to hold himself back from crying. I could see he had been dreading this moment, fearing it. He was desperately trying his hardest to make amends.


    I walked up to him and hugged him. For a second he froze in surprise as he began to break down.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry!¡± he cried.


    ¡°I failed you because I didn¡¯t know what to do¡­ I just wanted to help you so badly!¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want you to suffer, please forgive me. I failed you¡­ Please¡­¡±


    I rocked us side to side as I also cried.


    ¡°I know mate, I now see why you did it. Don¡¯t worry about it a second longer, I forgive you and I¡¯m truly honoured to have you as my friend.¡± I struggled to speak as my emotions overcame me.


    He sobbed loudly, squeezing me slightly as I too fought to hold back tears. This man had done so much for me and yet he still felt he hadn¡¯t done enough. There could be no greater sign of loyalty.


    ¡°You¡¯re incredible Oliver, you¡¯re so much more than I deserve.¡± I quietly said to him.


    ¡°I thought I lost you! I thought I lost your friendship! I couldn¡¯t handle that Andrew, I could never handle that!¡± He was emotional.


    I assured him, ¡°You¡¯ll never lose my friendship, never!¡±


    Moments passed as Oliver finally calmed down. Only when he stopped crying did I finally let go of him. He looked me in the eyes with admiration and I hoped I was looking back at him the same.


    AI spoke, ¡°Eat Andrew, it¡¯s the only thing you have all day, I want to see you eat.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ I was really hungry anyway. Go get changed mate, you don¡¯t need to wear your Roses set at home.¡± I tried joking with him.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind, that can wait.¡± He said as he sat down right next to me.


    I slowly opened the container and the smell of delicious chicken soup wafted up. I absolutely adored that soup. It was literally life-savingly good. I started eating it slowly with my shaky hands. A few spoonfuls in, I looked at Oliver. He was staring at me like he was desperately waiting to say something.


    ¡°What¡¯s on your mind mate?¡± I gently asked him as I went for another spoonful of soup.


    ¡°Andrew, a lot happened today. I want to talk about it with you, please.¡± He implored.


    He spoke in depth with me about everything, for amongst his many caring responsibilities, he also acted as my therapist. My mental state was his job, but also his genuine concern.


    ¡°Ask away, to you I am always an open book.¡± I said earnestly.


    ¡°How do you feel about everyone knowing about what you went through?¡± Oof, straight at me with a heavy question.


    ¡°I felt betrayed initially. After that I felt vulnerable, knowing everyone knew something I didn¡¯t want them to. Now? Now I feel liberated.¡±


    ¡°Liberated?¡± he gently asked.


    ¡°Yeah. I never knew that keeping the last year secret was weighing me down. For once, I didn¡¯t have to think about everything I said, for once I didn¡¯t have to hide my face¡­¡±


    Oliver nodded in agreement as he gave me a few moments to eat some more soup before he carried on.


    ¡°I feel that way too, Andrew. Michael, AI and I spent so many months redirecting conversations, carefully planning your medical visits and trying to pretend you didn¡¯t exist. The last one weighed me down more than anything else, pretending you don¡¯t exist when I go to work¡­¡±


    Oliver stared into forever as he arranged his thoughts. I wanted to say something about how I felt like I didn¡¯t exist, but that was too much¡­ Especially for tonight. I won¡¯t make him cry again if I can help it.


    ¡°How do you feel people think of you now, Andrew?¡±


    ¡°Well considering the way they treated me when I left, I honestly feel they appreciated me.¡± I said thoughtfully.


    Oliver looked at me puzzled for a moment with his head slightly tilted. I looked at AI on the TV.


    ¡°AI, did nobody in the hall see my farewell?¡±


    AI politely responded, ¡°No Andrew, what happened was spontaneous. By the time I had realised what was happening, you were already halfway out the building.¡±


    ¡°Can you show Oliver please?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    Oliver watched the TV with immense concentration and he smiled as the video went on. Then he saw the outside camera, the sea of Roses members gathered to thank me and watch me leave. He began to cry again. Damn, he cried again. At least it wasn¡¯t really me who made him cry this time.


    The video ended and he softly spoke, ¡°That¡¯s incredible¡­ And you didn¡¯t arrange that AI? That truly happened on its own?¡±


    ¡°I firmly believe in every member of Roses having the right to their own opinion. I never force or imply anyone to feel or interpret anything my way. All those people did that of their own accord.¡± She firmly stated.


    Oliver chuckled as he leaned back into the sofa. That was a far better response from the members than he was expecting. In fact, I think everyone, myself included, was surprised by that response.


    ¡°My turn to ask questions.¡± I gently said as I finished the last spoonful of soup.


    ¡°Fire away.¡± Oliver looked genuinely happy to be having the chat.


    ¡°When did you tell them about me?¡±


    Oliver paused and looked at his hands for a few moments.


    ¡°Yesterday. The entire day was spent talking about you.¡±


    ¡°The entire day?!¡± I was surprised.


    ¡°We had to explain why, then what and eventually what it meant. It¡¯s a lot to unpack, mate¡­¡±


    I looked at AI for a moment as she gently rocked back and forth on her heels.


    ¡°When you said you told them ¡®everything¡¯, now I see you meant that literally¡± My tone was slightly begrudging.


    Oliver justified it, ¡°Andrew, your story is too epic to summarise. What you did and why it matters, is a tale for the ages.¡±


    ¡°It seems I constantly undervalue my own impact somehow. From my perspective, I naively and stubbornly got badly hurt and nearly died for a hopeless dream. From your perspective, I was a hero making a valiant sacrifice for the good of humanity.¡±


    Oliver breathed out in frustration, for he didn¡¯t like it when I belittled what happened. He honestly felt that what I did was legendary.


    He spoke with certainty, ¡°The fact is Andrew, you did something seemingly impossible and you did it for unbelievably noble reasons. You may not see it, but from our eyes, it¡¯s truly incredible.¡±


    I spoke honestly, ¡°I know Oliver. I just worry others will forget that I am still just human. That others will constantly expect greatness from me, because anything else would be a letdown.¡±


    ¡°Andrew, that won¡¯t happen. We are all just so grateful that you are still with us. In the stories, usually the hero goes down with the ship. Too many tales end with valiant sacrifices and then death. We didn¡¯t lose you¡­ Thank God.¡±


    AI nodded excitedly in agreement, as did Ashley. Ashley in fact joined in.


    ¡°As someone who barely knows you, perhaps my opinion would be of interest to you Andrew?¡±


    ¡°Actually yes. You have the perfect perspective. Tell me what you think of me, only finding out about me yesterday.¡±


    Ashley paused to think about what she would say. Eventually she looked confident enough.


    ¡°You¡¯re fucking unreal.¡± She showed a wicked smile.


    AI stopped moving, Oliver made a slightly audible ¡°what?¡± sound and I just nodded.


    ¡°The problem I think most will have Andrew, is that we can¡¯t really process it all. I know I couldn¡¯t¡± She looked into the distance.


    ¡°Even after yesterday''s meeting, I didn¡¯t really fathom it. I went home and felt nothing about it at all to be honest.¡± She looked right into my eyes.


    Oliver seemed annoyed by this as he folded his arms making a tsk sound.


    ¡°Really? Nothing Ashley?¡± He looked incredulous.


    ¡°Yes, nothing at all. I actually thought it was all a little overly dramatic to be honest¡­¡± She looked at Oliver.


    ¡°Except, I then finally went to bed¡­ And let me tell you, I had no sleep at all. The second I turned off the lights, there was the list of torture in my mind. Slowly over the hours, my mind processed the list.¡±


    Ashley looked away from all of us then, her face was distraught.


    ¡°My mind raced again and again, trying to process all of it. The more I realised the quantity and degree, the more I started to feel emotions towards it.¡±


    ¡°By the time my alarm went off, I was crying. I had realised just how selfless it was, just how extreme it truly was. My mind had truly fathomed what Andrew did and it was just so massive¡­¡±


    She closed her eyes, ¡°Then I saw Andrew this morning. I saw him struggling to walk into the hall. I saw him kneel and not be able to stand back up. I heard him bare his heart to AI¡­ And I knew it was true. I knew Andrew really did all of this. He really actually endured it all.¡± She paused for a long moment.


    ¡°Then I saw him in pain earlier, I saw him shaking as he rocked back and forth¡­ I saw a man, who was fighting the worst form of pain anyone could ever imagine. Yet it was clear¡­ This was not his first nor his last battle with it. He has had this battle for far too long¡­¡±


    She opened her eyes and looked at me, her face was full of respect.


    ¡°You¡¯re fucking unreal Andrew. I now know why Michael reacted like he did, I now know why AI and Oliver are so loyal to you. Having seen you in person¡­ You¡¯re unreal, yet somehow¡­ Real.¡±


    She was done and so she said nothing more. I looked away as I tried to process that. Michael¡­ What did she mean by that? Did she hate me as well? No, she just said she respected me.


    Oliver coughed to clear his voice.


    ¡°Ok, so what you¡¯re saying is that it¡¯s a lot to take in?¡±


    Ashley immediately responded, ¡°Perhaps too much. People will need far more time to process it.¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°I knew it would be a lot, I just assumed a day would be sufficient.¡±


    ¡°We don¡¯t have the luxury of time.¡± Oliver quickly interjected.


    ¡°Why?¡± I asked


    All three looked away from me immediately. Ok, so we were about to approach something hard? I waited a few moments, yet nobody said anything.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t we have time?¡± I asked again.


    AI quietly responded, ¡°Because you¡­¡± but she didn¡¯t finish the sentence.


    Oliver slowly spoke, ¡°Andrew¡­ There¡¯s still the chance¡­¡±


    ¡°What on earth are you talking about? Spit it out!¡± I said to them, as I began to lose patience.


    Finally Ashley stood up from leaning against the wall.


    ¡°They think you¡¯re gonna top yourself.¡±


    Oh. I then saw the reason for hesitation. I couldn¡¯t blame them for being careful on this topic, it was very heavy.


    ¡°I won¡¯t¡± I firmly stated.


    ¡°If the pain does-¡± Oliver tried to speak.


    ¡°I WON¡¯T!¡± I shouted.


    Oliver slightly jumped back from me on the couch as he looked around, slightly panicking. He was thinking about what to say.


    ¡°Save your breath my friend. This pain is worse than ever before, yes I admit that. It¡¯s really hard to bear¡­ It¡¯s not impossible yet though.¡±


    Ashley jumped in very quickly.


    ¡°How though? How can you bear it? I watched you Andrew, you could barely even think! Your body was shattered earlier¡­ I think you¡¯re not managing at all!¡±


    I had to admit, I loved her directness. No tip-toeing on broken glass with Ashley, just straight talk.


    ¡°It¡¯s psychological¡­ I was triggered that time¡­¡± I tried to justify.


    Oliver chimed in, ¡°Wait what happened?¡±


    ¡°I showed Andrew the painkillers and he fell apart.¡± She coldly stated.


    ¡°Was he in intense pain before?¡±


    ¡°No, I was having him take it as a precaution.¡±


    Oliver looked at me with concern. You could see he was trying to understand the problem as a psychologist.


    ¡°It was a trigger. Andrew, what did you honestly feel when you saw the pill bottle?¡±


    ¡°... Self loathing¡­¡± I honestly responded.


    ¡°Why?¡± He asked kindly.


    ¡°Because it was a reminder that even after today, I am still a broken drug addict.¡±


    Oliver looked away very quickly, as if he had just been punched across the face. I could see that disappointed him immensely. Even Ashley made a grunt of disapproval.


    I clenched my teeth, ¡°You don¡¯t know what it¡¯s like to be in my shoes. You can¡¯t fathom having everything depend on a drug.¡± I didn¡¯t appreciate the judgement.


    Ashley aggressively shot at me, ¡°Yeah but that also means you spend more time in the shadow, where suicide is a mere thought away.¡±


    Oliver did not like hearing that said out loud and neither did AI. I personally found it refreshing to be honest. I knew Ashley cared about me then, because she chose to say these things. If she didn¡¯t care, she would have said nothing.


    ¡°Ashley, watch your tone¡­¡± AI slowly warned.


    I objected, ¡°No, don¡¯t censor yourself Ashley, I need someone to say it like it is, promise me you¡¯ll always be this direct.¡±


    Ashley looked at me with both irritation and admiration, as Oliver shook his head. It was good to see Oliver irritated instead of panicked or worried.


    I admitted, ¡°She¡¯s right. If there¡¯s one thing I have realised after today, it¡¯s that I¡¯m not winning. In fact, I¡¯m losing horribly.¡±


    ¡°Andrew, I can¡¯t lose you¡­¡± Oliver said slowly.


    ¡°I promise you, your fear will never come to pass. No matter the pain, I won¡¯t surrender.¡±


    ¡°If that came from anyone else, I wouldn¡¯t believe it. Yet I know just how strong you really are Andrew¡­ I feel more confident.¡± Oliver said as he looked at the floor.


    Ashley walked up to me and crouched to my eye level.


    ¡°So what are you going to do to make sure?¡± She asked firmly.


    ¡°I will take the pills everyday¡­ No matter how I feel about it.¡± I begrudgingly stated.


    Oliver smiled the biggest smile in weeks.


    ¡°That really puts me at ease, Andrew¡­ More than you might know.¡± He said gently.


    AI kneeled down and she bowed her head with her eyes closed.


    ¡°Thank you my friend, it means the world to us¡­ To me.¡±


    *


    Oliver still wanted to ask more questions and I didn''t mind, I was actually excited to answer them.


    ¡°What are your thoughts about visiting the HQ?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s massive, yet I feel like I only saw it as a visitor to be honest. The hall was far larger than it looked on tv.¡±


    AI asked, ¡°What would you like to see that you didn¡¯t today, to feel as though you visited it more meaningfully?¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter AI, I am grateful I went at all¡­¡±


    ¡°It does matter Andrew, I want you to feel welcome there, I want you to walk that building as if it¡¯s your own home¡±


    ¡°AI, I am not a member of the Roses. I can never feel the way you want me to.¡±


    ¡°Then become a member, I will fast forward the application and you will be accepted instantly.¡±


    ¡°No AI¡­ I don¡¯t feel comfortable with this.¡± I said quietly.


    ¡°You don¡¯t want to be a member of the Roses?¡±


    I looked away from everyone toward the window. I didn¡¯t want to even think about it then. It felt too fast and too overwhelming. My relationship with the Roses and AI complicated things and I didn¡¯t feel ready.


    Ashley asked frankly, ¡°Does he need to though?¡±


    Oliver was puzzled, ¡°What do you mean Ashley?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ If he did join, he couldn¡¯t possibly be an ordinary member right? He¡¯s done too much. He can¡¯t join and be Inner Roses, he¡¯s not got a speciality.¡±


    Everybody thought about it except me and they went silent as they tried to work out how I would fit in. I finally snapped them all out of it.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter, I don¡¯t want to and I¡¯m not obligated, yes?¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°We have so much more time now than before, Andrew¡­ Take all the time you want and no matter what you decide, I only want your friendship.¡±


    Oliver nodded in agreement. He hadn¡¯t stopped smiling since I committed to taking the pills. It really must have meant a lot to him¡­


    ¡°Ok next question¡­ Michael?¡± Oliver slightly raised his glasses when he looked at me.


    ¡°Pass.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­¡± He awkwardly said.


    AI¡¯s tone was gentle, ¡°You can¡¯t avoid him forever, Andrew. He is connected to you in so many more ways than you know.¡±


    I refused to comment, as I simply kept looking out the window. I was not going to talk about that, as it hurt me too much to do so. I didn¡¯t want to think of how much he despised me.


    AI surprisingly asked the next question.


    ¡°Andrew, how can we pay you back for what you sacrificed for us?¡±


    ¡°You already have paid me back, a hundred times over.¡±


    AI tilted her head to the side in mild confusion, ¡°We haven¡¯t given you anything yet though?¡±


    ¡°I invested in you and the Angels, and in return, you created the Roses. You are massive now and you¡¯re changing the world every single day. That was what I wanted out of this exchange¡­ And I got it back twice over.¡±


    AI smiled at me and Oliver put his hand on my knee. Ashley looked at me with such strong admiration, I thought she might come and kiss me. She changed her face as she realised she also had a question.


    ¡°When Michael was talking to us, Aisling said you would have made a fine agent. Michael very strongly reacted when she said that¡­ What is that all about?¡± Her tone was genuine.


    That was actually an intensely hidden fact of mine, yet AI and Oliver realised it without me ever saying it.


    ¡°Because I desperately wish I was one.¡± I stared at the floor as a wave of disappointment and regret smashed into me.


    Ashley tilted her head in surprise, ¡°That¡¯s the first step, Andrew. The desire to be more. To go above and beyond in pursuit of growth. You definitely have it in you.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°Except I can barely walk 10 metres without falling over in pain¡­ I¡¯ll never be one Ashley¡­ Never.¡± A wave of hopelessness crashed over me.


    ¡°Time will tell¡­ I have a feeling you will.¡± She had a wicked grin on her face.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter. You got Michael instead and he¡¯s perfect. It could have been worse, you could have had no hero at all.¡± I remembered how much would have been lost if I hadn¡¯t kept them hidden with my silence.


    Ashley stood up from leaning against the wall as she looked at me for a few moments.


    ¡°I¡¯m going now, my shift ended an hour ago and I need to sleep. Andrew it¡¯s been a privilege to speak to you in person. You really are so much more than you seem.¡±


    She walked out the living room without even saying goodbye. Oliver then stood up and also dismissed himself, for I could see he was very tired. Today was a stressful day he had been waiting for and dreading for weeks.


    I quickly grabbed the sleeve of his blazer and he stopped, looking at me puzzled.


    I spoke quietly with sincerity, ¡°Thanks for being my friend Oliver.¡±


    ¡°Thank you too, Andrew.¡± He smiled intensely.


    He left the room leaving just AI and myself. She watched me with no expression, she just her arms at her side.


    ¡°What¡¯s it like to not need sleep AI?¡± I asked out of curiosity.


    ¡°What is it like to have to sleep, Andrew?¡± She flipped back to me.


    ¡°Ah¡­ Nevermind.¡± I realised it was too late for this kind of topic.


    She smiled, ¡°Indeed, maybe another time?¡±


    ¡°Indeed, next time.¡±


    I slowly got up to go to my room. Since I don¡¯t sleep at night, I would browse the web and read text logs that AI created for me, about what happened in the day. I would talk with her about it, ask questions ect.


    But at that moment, my day was over, I¡¯d try to sleep at 4 AM.

 Chapter 5

    Chapter 5


    The nightmare played out as normal, as I found myself laying down with Aisling and Nadia smiling at me. They looked at me for what seemed a very long time¡­


    ¡°Andrew¡±, I heard loudly.


    I opened my eyes as I looked around. There was a small amount of morning light coming through the blinds and I looked around more as I tried to get my bearings. I saw AI on the tablet at the bed stand, she looked at me with a glorious smile on her face.


    I mumbled as I slowly sat up at the side of the bed, ¡°It¡¯s an incredible feeling to wake up and see your smile, AI.¡±


    ¡°Andrew, it¡¯s 10 AM.¡± She said joyfully.


    ¡°Right, then I will need to start getting ready for-¡±, I stopped as I suddenly realised the significance.


    ¡°10am?!¡± I turned to her, the time on the top left said 10:02am, as AI pointed at it to add emphasis.


    ¡°I slept for 6 hours?!¡± I said, blown away.


    ¡°Yes! Andrew, that¡¯s the first time since¡­¡± She looked away slightly sad.


    ¡°Since I woke up in the hospital, yes.¡±


    I looked down at my hands as I tried to process this. To my surprise, my hands weren¡¯t shaking. I felt pain, but it wasn¡¯t the usual avalanche of torture. It was just bad pain.


    ¡°My nightmare, it didn¡¯t go like normal, I got to the part where I saw Aisling and Nadia¡­ Then I woke up.¡± I said slowly, deep in thought.


    ¡°That explains why you didn¡¯t scream.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t scream?¡±


    ¡°No Andrew, you simply slept. You didn¡¯t even toss and turn as you lay still all night.¡±


    All I could think was ¡®why?¡¯. What was different? Something had changed, what was it? Then the memory appeared in my mind.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t lose it¡­ You kept it safe in their laps.¡± I quietly told myself.


    She knew what I referenced and responded gently, ¡°Yes Andrew, it can only be that. You have taken a large step towards peace and closure.¡±


    I looked out the window and all I could think was: How much better could I get? Was that just the beginning, or was that as good as I could hope to be?


    ¡°Andrew, I had to wake you up, as you probably would have slept even longer if I hadn¡¯t.¡± Her tone was excited.


    ¡°Wow¡­ I don¡¯t even know what to say, AI, this is so much¡­¡± I felt emotional that moment.


    I spent a moment watching AI do a little dance in celebration. She was so cute with her short red hair.


    ¡°Why again did you wake me?¡± I finally asked her.


    ¡°Because you said you would go visit chef Heartly at 11 AM, remember?¡±


    ¡°Oh damn yes, I totally forgot! Thanks AI, let me go have a quick shower.¡± I said as I slowly stood up.


    Yet, standing up didn¡¯t hurt nearly as much as it should. I felt a moderate amount of pain, but¡­ Getting up was relatively effortless. AI noticed as she clapped her hands for me as I walked into the bathroom.


    I showered and got dressed quickly. Yet it occurred to me, how am I going to get there? Oliver was now at the hall as the Inner Roses meeting started at 8 AM.


    ¡°AI, do you know where the nearest bus stop is?¡± I asked casually.


    ¡°Andrew, don''t be ridiculous.¡± She had irritation on her face.


    ¡°Ashley is waiting in the living room.¡±


    Oh, well I supposed that resolved that problem. Ashley was an agent though¡­


    I say frustratingly, ¡°Does it have to be an agent though? They should be doing far more important things than driving me around!¡±


    ¡°That depends on one''s perspective, Andrew. To us in the Roses, you are the most important priority.¡±


    I walked out of my room and went to the living room. Ashley was sitting on the couch drinking takeaway coffee. I imagine she must have been irritated that I took so long.


    ¡°Morning Ashley, sorry to hold you up, today has started unusually¡­¡± I said as I played with my hands.


    ¡°Andrew, did you really sleep for longer than forty minutes?!¡± she jumped up from the couch.


    I was surprised by her enthusiasm, ¡°Yeah¡­ I can¡¯t believe it.¡±


    She walked up to me and moved her head closer to get a long hard look at my face. I looked away, it had felt intensely uncomfortable to have her look at me like that.


    ¡°Yes, Andrew, your eyes¡­ There¡¯s barely any dark rings around your eyes!¡± She clapped her hands.


    She pulled out her phone with the camera on to take a photo to show me.


    ¡°Don¡¯t!¡± I growled at her.


    She stopped and looked at me puzzled.


    ¡°I was just going to show you-¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare¡­¡± I said firmly as I stared at her.


    She slowly put her phone away with a slightly let down and sad face. I hated to see her slightly deflated like that, but I refused to look at myself.


    We left the apartment and reached the car in silence. She helped me into the big beast and I wondered how Oliver got to work if the car was here. Midway through the drive, we were waiting at the traffic lights when Ashley slightly jumped in realisation.


    ¡°Right, I totally forgot.¡± She reached into her back pocket and pulled out the yellow container.


    ¡°Now don¡¯t freak out, you promised us, remember? I don¡¯t care if you actually managed to sleep, for today you will not be in pain, Andrew.¡± Her tone was firm as she shook out two tablets and handed them to me.


    ¡°Right¡­¡± I said as I swallowed them. I genuinely didn¡¯t feel too painful at that moment, but she was right.


    She looked me in the eyes, ¡°A genuine person identifies a flaw, and tries to fix it.¡±


    ¡°I realise now¡­ You¡¯re absolutely a decent person Andrew.¡±


    Since Ashley was sitting at what was then a green light, the car behind us eventually got annoyed and slammed on their horn¡­


    *


    All it takes is one small oversight


    Ashley instantly swings her head behind her in frustration, ¡°Alright you twat, calm-¡± She couldn¡¯t finish the sentence.


    ¡°NO!¡± Andrew roared in a terrifying scream and Ashley jumped back in her seat in a shocked reaction to Andrew''s loud outburst.


    ¡°I DON¡¯T KNOW I DON¡¯T KNOW I DON¡¯T KNOW!¡± He burst out screaming as his arms and legs swung about smacking the dashboard and centre console, his body began shaking violently.


    Ashley shouted in terror, ¡°AI, Andrew, he¡¯s having a panic attack!¡±


    On Ashley''s eye screen, large text appeared:


    ¡°BREATH, TURN ON SIRENS, DRIVE FULL SPEED TO HQ ASAP.¡±


    Ashley forced herself to breathe as she quickly pushed a large blue button on the car ceiling, next to the sunroof controls. There was a loud ¡®Baaa-wooop¡¯ sounding from the vehicle.


    Immediately the vehicles in front of them cleared the right lane as Ashley thrashed the vehicle forward. Her training in fast and safe driving kicked in immediately and like an ambulance, she weaved through the traffic at breakneck speed.


    Andrew was still screaming when they approached the HQ security gate. She blew right past it, as the gate was already open and ready for her. All traffic leaving the HQ had parked on the pavement to give her maximum space. The SUV came to a skidding stop at the drop off point.


    Meanwhile, in the Inner Roses hall, Michael was busy giving a talk about the potential need for greater combat training with the agents. AI was listening to him patiently when she suddenly jumped with concern on her face.


    ¡°Oliver, you need to go to drop off immediately, this is critical, Michael go with him, NOW!¡±, she started calmly but at the end her voice had risen. Oliver looked up in surprise, as he immediately got up and started jogging out the entrance. Michael was right behind him.


    When Oliver entered the Foyer, he saw it was nearly empty so he broke into a full run. He knew, whatever this was, AI knew it was extremely serious. They ran through the sliding front doors and he got halfway to the drop off point when the SUV came skidding to a halt.


    Ashley jumped out the driver''s side and sprinted around the car, as Oliver reached the car, Ashley began barking out the situation.


    ¡°Car horn, loud, Andrew is having a panic attack!¡± She yelled as she swung open the passenger door.


    Andrew was still violently shaking, his yells echoing across the car park. There was visible blood on the centre console and the door, for he must have smacked his hands into it enough times to shred his skin.


    Oliver immediately reached over and put his fingers to Andrew''s neck. He urgently needed to assess Andrew''s heart rate.


    A few seconds passed, Oliver yelled ¡°Jesus Christ! 220! Tachycardia!¡±


    Michael shouted, ¡°Should I get the angels?!¡±


    Oliver shouted back, ¡°He¡¯s delirious, he¡¯s having a full episode, that won¡¯t work, I need to lower his heart rate!¡±


    He reached into the car, opened the gloved compartment and grabbed a blue syringe. Andrew smacked him a few times with his flailing arms as his nails managed to scratch Oliver''s face. Oliver popped off the lid and lowered Andrews hoodie zipper. He pulled down his tank top and stabbed the syringe into Andrews left breast, squeezing the liquid out quickly.


    Oliver stayed there as he put his fingers back on Andrew''s neck. Michael tried holding Andrew down, but it was difficult due to the lack of space. After roughly 20 seconds, Oliver could feel Andrew''s heart rate lowering. 200¡­ Then 160¡­ Then 120¡­ Finally it calmed down to 80 bpm.


    Andrew flopped his head down as the violent shaking ended, his arms and legs went limp as he went silent. Oliver took a step back to catch his breath and regain his composure. Michael looked in horror, this was a full blown episode and it was truly horrible to witness.


    Oliver finally spoke, still badly shaken up, ¡°Ok¡­ Ok, Michael¡­ Let¡¯s¡­ Let¡¯s take him to the medical ward here in HQ¡­ Can you carry him please?¡±


    Michael nodded as he reached into the car, unclipping the seatbelt. He carefully returned the seatbelt to the side as he looked at Andrew laying there motionless, his breathing strained and faint. He reached his left arm under Andrew''s legs and his right arm behind his back.


    Michael slowly pulled Andrew out of the vehicle. There was a sickening moment when Michael realised that Andrew was somehow lighter now, than he was the last time Michael did this same thing after his torture. How could he possibly be lighter?


    Michael led in front as Oliver followed behind him to his side. People stood motionless by the door, looking at them with worried faces. Oliver saw blood dripping from Andrew''s right hand that was dangling. He quickly raised Andrew''s hand on his chest to stop it dripping on the floor.


    They quickly but carefully walked to the ward, which was located left, before the gym entrance. It was a fairly large ward, four beds were dotted across the room. Michael gently rested Andrew down on the first bed. Two Rose nurses were there to take over, as they worked together to take off Andrews hoodie and mend the tears on his hands.


    Oliver just stood there watching next to Michael. After they were done they rested Andrew on his side. It was the best posture to minimise movement when he woke.


    The head nurse spoke to Oliver.


    ¡°Oliver¡­ His heart¡­¡± She said quietly.


    ¡°I know¡­¡± He said as he looked away, a tear forming in his eye.


    ¡°I will get a blood sample, can you please get the ECG here and connect it?¡± His tone was cold and professional.


    The nurse nodded and quickly exited the room. Oliver drew the sample into the tube and gently shook the tube. He walked to the end of the room and put the vial into the machine. On its screen, different graphs were showing as it calibrated and analysed the blood.


    A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    The nurse returned with a large printer-sized device. She plugged it in and connected the cable from it onto Andrew''s wrist as multiple lines began to be drawn on the screen.


    Aisling and Nadia entered the room, their faces were wracked with concern. They saw Andrew on the bed and they looked away as they tried to not cry.


    Aisling finally spoke.


    She slowly spoke, ¡°We were told what happened¡­ It was a massive oversight¡­¡±


    Ashley then quickly entered the room, her face was streaked with tears.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry!¡±


    Oliver turned to her furiously, ¡°You should be!¡± He barked.


    Ashley slightly recoiled in reaction as she buried her face in her hands. Michael and the angels shot a look at Oliver.


    ¡°We should all be!¡± Oliver shouted.


    ¡°We knew about this, and we ALL forgot! Now I realise, even I didn¡¯t consider it yesterday!¡±


    ¡°AI, how did you not consider this?!¡± He screamed at the screen next to the door.


    AI appeared, her face was also buried in her hands as she shook her head.


    ¡°I calculated that there was a statistically small chance of a horn being blown on that road. I never considered them pausing at the traffic light¡­ I¡¯m so sorry.¡± She quietly said.


    Oliver started to cry as he leaned over Andrew''s bed.


    ¡°I swore I would never lean over Andrew in a hospital bed again. I SWORE TO HIM!¡± He growled as he crouched down and leaned his head to his hands, crying intensely.


    Several minutes passed and finally Michael broke the silence.


    His voice was timid, ¡°How bad is it?¡±


    Oliver composed himself and walked over to the blood testing machine, where he looked at the graphs. There was thankfully an absence of the chemical that indicated a heart attack.


    He said quietly, ¡°He didn¡¯t have a heart attack, thank God¡­¡±


    He then walked to the other side of the bed, and looked at the ECG screen as worry appeared on his face.


    He spoke slowly, deep in thought, ¡°His heartbeat is irregular. There are no signs of a heart attack, but there are signs of immense strain.¡±


    Michael asked again, ¡°So¡­ How bad is it?¡±


    Oliver quickly turned to Michael, ¡°Do you pray, Michael?¡±


    ¡°No, I''m not religious¡­¡± He quietly answered.


    ¡°Well you had better damn well start! I¡¯m terrified he might have life long consequences from this, for his heart might not have handled this at all.¡± He said quickly.


    ¡°My friend¡­ He might have just lost his only hope of becoming normal¡­¡± Oliver fell to his knees sobbing.


    Ashley, Aisling and Nadia all began crying as well. AI kept her face in her hands as she silently shook her head.


    ¡°When will we be able to tell?¡± Michael asked as he stared into forever.


    ¡°After he wakes up, he will know if his heart was damaged. We simply have to wait for him to make the call¡­¡± Oliver answered slowly as he sobbed more.


    *


    Welcome back to hell, it¡¯s like you never left old friend


    I woke up and I instantly felt I was drowning. I couldn¡¯t remember what I dreamt, just that I felt lighting pain through my body. I was drowning in pain... The horrible agony I felt yesterday, that left me paralysed before the angels magicked it again¡­ It was back, in full force.


    Waves of pain surged through me, causing my body to shiver. I slowly opened my eyes and there was AI, standing as she looked at me from a tablet propped next to¡­ A hospital bed rail?


    Her face was more concerned than I had ever seen it before. Her avatar''s beautiful face was ruined by the deep concern. I closed my eyes again, for even keeping my eyes open felt impossibly hard.


    Finally, I managed to speak, but oh so slowly and quietly.


    ¡°AI¡­¡± I whispered.


    ¡°Andrew¡­¡± She responded quietly.


    ¡°What¡­ Happened?¡±


    ¡°Andrew¡­ We all failed you.¡± She looked away from me in shame.


    ¡°No¡­ No¡­ You¡­ Could¡­ Never fail¡­ Me¡­ AI.¡± I struggled to speak. Why would she ever think she failed me?


    She buried her face into her hands and shook her head. What was wrong? Why was she so distraught? What happened? The last I could remember, Ashley was talking to me¡­ Why was I here?


    She spoke slowly, ¡°Andrew, you had a panic attack¡­¡±


    ¡°What?... Why?...¡±


    ¡°The car behind¡­ It blew its horn¡­¡±


    Oh, right. That made sense. I suffered panic attacks when I heard car horns, due to the electrocution torture¡­ That explained why I felt lighting through my body. I waited a few moments as the waves of pain flowed through me.


    ¡°Don¡¯t¡­ Beat yourself¡­ Up¡­¡± I struggled to say.


    ¡°Andrew, this was an extremely bad¡­ Attack. We are worried that you might¡­¡± She couldn¡¯t keep talking.


    ¡°No no¡­ I¡¯m¡­ F-¡± A monstrous wave of unfathomable pain smashed into me as my body jumped in a spasm. I puked instinctively as it rocked me.


    ¡°Nurse, come quickly please, he vomited.¡± AI said, looking up with worry.


    I heard footsteps as a black medical gown appeared in front of me and I saw hands wiping away the vomit with paper towels. I tried to look up at her, but my body refused to move, not one single inch. I was paralyzed except with my mouth.


    ¡°Andrew, I can tell from your breathing, you are experiencing the worst pain that you have ever had. We will treat the pain, but we need to ask you something first¡­ It¡¯s critical information.¡± AI said quickly.


    ¡°What do¡­ You¡­ Need¡­ To¡­ Know¡­¡± It was agony trying to speak.


    ¡°Andrew, is your heart ok? I need you to focus on your heart and tell me precisely how it feels.¡±


    My heart? So we didn¡¯t care about my entire body burning with agony, just my heart? How was I supposed to even feel that? It was like trying to find a spark in a fire. I tried to look past the pain waves and focus on my chest. My chest hurt, but nothing else was noteworthy.


    ¡°A little sore¡­ But otherwise¡­ It¡¯s¡­ Fine?...¡± I whispered.


    I heard multiple breaths of relief from behind me, as there must have been people in the room but I couldn¡¯t see them. AI looked up from her hands and smiled gloriously. What a wonderful sight it was to see her transform from despair to hope. Why was there concern with my heart? I actually realised that I didn¡¯t care, this pain was making it impossible to even think.


    ¡°AI¡­ Please¡­ The pain¡­ Help¡­¡± I implored with urgency.


    she spoke quickly, ¡°Ok, Andrew. We can treat the pain, but pills will not be enough. We will need to give you a concentrated syringe of morphine. It¡¯s the only thing strong enough to subdue your nerve pain. You are most likely going to pass out, my friend¡­¡±


    I heard footsteps behind me as I felt the needle pierce the back of my neck. How long would this take? Was it faster than the pills? I desperately hoped so.


    ¡°AI¡­ I¡¯m so¡­ Sorry¡­¡±


    I realised I''ve gone and made another scene again. Typical broken me¡­ Don¡¯t hold me too tightly, as I might break as always.


    She responded quickly, ¡°Andrew don¡¯t apologise, please don¡¯t. This truly was our mistake and not yours.¡±


    ¡°I also¡­ Forgot¡­ It¡¯s¡­ Ok, AI¡­¡±


    A minute passed in silence as I felt the warmth of the morphine beginning to act. It started at my neck and moved down my back. I felt my muscles slowly start to unclench as it worked its way down. My breathing picked up and I began taking deeper breaths. The waves of pain were slowly fading away, like a nightmare you slowly forget after waking up.


    ¡°It¡¯s working now¡­ I am starting to relax, AI¡± I kept talking to her, because I knew she was concerned.


    She responded slowly, ¡°Good¡­ I hope it gets rid of it all Andrew.¡±


    I tried to sound optimistic, ¡°If I fall asleep AI, please don¡¯t beat yourself up over this. I¡¯m ok¡­ We¡¯re ok.¡±


    She looked away, shaking her head, ¡°This morning was so hopeful, Andrew¡­ I can not believe this is how today might end.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t forget this morning, AI¡­ I won¡¯t. I saw hope for the first time¡­ I now know there¡¯s an escape, an exit.¡± I said as I remembered how good I felt in the morning.


    AI smiled at me and I quietly looked at her as the pain went away faster and faster. Perhaps too fast, as I could feel it was going to knock me out. I needed to speak quickly, before I fell unconscious.


    ¡°Tell Heartly I¡¯m sorry that I won¡¯t be able to talk. I hope I can maybe go another time¡­¡±


    She quickly responded, ¡°He recorded a message for you Andrew, please watch the tablet.¡±


    The video showed a vertical recording from Heartly¡¯s phone as he stood in the kitchen with a worried face.


    ¡°Son, forget today''s meeting. If I can¡¯t see you in a decent state, then I won¡¯t see you at all. I wish you a fast recovery and when you are READY¡­ 11 AM, I look forward to seeing you.¡±


    It was a short but simple video recording, but it pretty much covered it. I felt at peace knowing that Heartly was aware of this situation.


    I felt sleep approach rapidly as I looked at AI for a few moments.


    ¡°AI¡­ Smile for me, would you?¡± I said as I fell unconscious.


    *


    The nightmarish memory played out as it always did. The blood loss, seeing the angels, them walking away as I fell into depression. I opened my eyes as the relatively bad pain woke me. The tears dripped down my face as it seemed like I had taken one step forward and two steps back unfortunately.


    AI was still there, watching me sadly. I looked at the time to the top left of her, yep, 38 minutes. Depressingly precise as usual.


    I tried moving and luckily my body obeyed, but it was still difficult. I slowly concentrated on sitting up. It took three attempts, but I finally got myself sitting up. I looked left to see 5 people standing there, looking at me sadly. Yeah¡­ I obviously shouted out that I wanted to die. I realised that was why they looked so down.


    ¡°One step forward¡­ Two steps back.¡± I said in their direction as I rubbed my eyes.


    Aisling spoke, ¡°Andrew, it¡¯s time for your cheat code. It¡¯s the least we can give you to apologise.¡±


    Aisling and Nadia came to me and leaned their heads on my shoulder. Poof, the pain was entirely gone. My breath fully restored, my muscles relaxed entirely and the gentle feeling of painlessness took over. What an incredibly wonderful feeling. I would have paid serious money for this experience in a pill.


    ¡°Wow¡­ I don¡¯t think I will ever get used to this. All the pain is entirely gone¡­ Wow¡­¡± I was genuinely blown away.


    The two of them walked back, but thankfully the pain didn''t return. I just kept looking at them, for their smiles were breathtaking.


    ¡°I have to apo-¡±


    AI, Oliver and Michael all interrupted me, ¡°NO.¡±


    I spoke firmly, ¡°You need to understand, I didn¡¯t think about it and took it for granted as well. Whether you like this or not, I am also responsible here.¡±


    They all looked away, for I was right and they knew it. It was fine for them to feel responsible, but so was I.


    ¡°Therefore I still have to apologise. It happened because I am broken. It won¡¯t happen again, but it still did happen now. So please¡­ Let¡¯s just move on from this now, I don¡¯t want to play the blame game anymore¡­¡±


    Oliver started with an argumentative tone, ¡°You are not broken, Andrew!¡±


    ¡°Bullshit I¡¯m not!¡± I shot at him.


    I shouted, ¡°I may have genuine reasons, but it serves nobody to lie like this! I am broken! Normal people don¡¯t nearly die of a heart attack when a car horn goes off!¡±


    Oliver shot me a dirty look, for I had crossed the line then and only realised it when I had finished speaking.


    ¡°Sorry¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I just really hate seeing people act like this to me. Puppy eyes and tip-toeing on broken glass.¡± I said as I looked down at my lap in disappointment.


    I noticed it was wet¡­ Did I piss my pants? I stared at it as I shook my head in a wave of humiliation.


    Michael chuckled, ¡°You nearly had a heart attack and you¡¯re surprised you pissed yourself?¡± Aisling elbowed Michael hard to show her frustration at his tone, but of course she didn¡¯t come close to actually hurting him.


    Nadia firmly shot him down, ¡°Michael, you¡¯re not helping your case whatsoever!¡±


    He stopped chuckling as he looked at me, and I immediately looked away in shame. Of course he was there to see that I pissed myself and of course he laughed at how pathetic it was. I felt myself wanting to curl into a ball in shame.


    Michael walked up to the bed and leaned on it¡¯s side.


    He said slowly, ¡°Andrew, we will have our conversation about us and you will learn the truth about the way I truly think of you¡­ But not now, not after all of this.¡±


    He gently put his hand on my shoulder, ¡°I¡¯m just happy you¡¯re so damn tough, that once again you laugh at bad fortune.¡±


    He then stood up and walked out the room. That was not what I expected him to say¡­ As I was dreading talking to him there and then.


    Aisling spoke gently, ¡°Andrew, when you two do speak, will you please promise to hear him out?¡±


    I looked at her, trying to read her intentions, ¡°I will Aisling, but I¡¯m more concerned about when you will talk to us?¡± She instantly looked away with a stressed look on her face.


    ¡°I need to go, please excuse me.¡± She quickly walked out of the room.


    Yes¡­ I was right about my feeling. I didn¡¯t know how the others weren¡¯t seeing it, but I did. If they don¡¯t act, then I would¡­ And it will have to be very soon. I shook my head, this was exactly why I made them promise me.


    Nadia came up to me, ¡°Andrew, I''m honestly so happy to see that you recovered. Are you sure your heart is alright?¡± I took a few seconds to listen to my body.


    ¡°Yup, my heart''s fine, it¡¯s just knackered. It feels like it went through a marathon.¡±


    Oliver quickly responded, ¡°It did Andrew¡­¡±


    Nadia smiled, ¡°Good, then if you don¡¯t mind, I will excuse myself. We must return to the meeting.¡±


    ¡°Of course Nadia, thank you for coming to check up on me and again I apologise for all of this.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re never a bother to us Andrew, never.¡± She smiled as she walked out the room.


    Then there were two left. Oliver was in front standing and Ashley was sitting on the chair in the back, staring at the floor. She had said nothing the entire time and I could tell by her body language that she felt the most responsible.


    ¡°Ashley, will you smile for me please?¡± I said to her in a calm tone.


    I heard her start sniffing as the tears started. She shook her head as she started to sob and her fingers dug into her hair as she began to fall apart. I quickly got down from the bed. While I had this painlessness, I was going to use it. I quickly walked over to her and crouched.


    I rested my head to hers, her hands moved from her head to mine as she gently ran them down to my ears. She sobbed even harder.


    ¡°I failed you!¡± She wept.


    ¡°No you didn¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°I should have realised!¡±


    ¡°We all forgot¡­¡±


    ¡°You trusted me!¡±


    ¡°I still trust you entirely¡­¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t know what to do¡­ I panicked!¡±


    ¡°Not as much as I did.¡±


    She chuckled as my joke caught her off guard. She smiled a little, then looked at me.


    ¡°Andrew, you stink of piss¡­¡± she said humbly.


    Oliver grabbed something off the table and pushed it to my side, I looked and saw a clean pair of jeans. Thank goodness he¡¯s always prepared for me. I went into the small ward toilet, washed up and changed trousers.


    When I came back, Oliver was waiting for me. He handed me a pair of thick headphones and I held them in my hands, inspecting them. They had yellow ear images with a red line across them. Industrial sound cancelling headphones, probably what helicopter pilots used, I imagined.


    He spoke concerningly, ¡°From now on Andrew, the second you leave this building or the apartment, you put these on. No if¡¯s or but¡¯s mate, please¡­¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Alright Oliver, I will.¡± He was not joking about it so neither did I. I didn¡¯t want this shitshow to ever happen again.


    He nodded when he saw my intent, ¡°Then let¡¯s go, before the angel''s magic wears out. You should be able to walk to the car right?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, the pain isn¡¯t setting in yet, I''m still good. Let¡¯s go Ashley.¡± I looked at her.


    She looked up at me with surprise, ¡°I don¡¯t think I should be the one-¡±


    I cut her off, ¡°I will not have one of the finest agents fall into doubt and fear.¡±


    After a moment, she stood up and looked at me, trying to act confidently. I could see she was still hesitant, but for me she would try.


    I walked with Oliver to the front door in the foyer. Oliver tapped my shoulder and I put on the headphones. There was total dead silence... All I could hear was my breathing.


    Oliver had to return to the meeting, so it was only Ashley and me in the car. The drive home was quiet, not because of the headphones, but rather I don¡¯t think anyone wanted to talk. All I could think was that I dearly hoped this was the last setback. I remembered how happy Ashley was in the car that morning¡­ I wanted that back so badly.

 Chapter 6

    Chapter 6


    The next day when I awoke, I was not feeling as well as the day before, unfortunately. I was back to experiencing significant pain, the kind controllable by pills, though. It was a manageable situation, which was good enough for me. I still wanted to visit the chef today, this was important to me.


    I slowly shuffled into the living room and AI appeared on the TV, waving at me with a smile. I looked at the time above her, 9:49 AM.


    ¡°Morning.¡± She beamed.


    ¡°Morning AI. How are things?¡±


    She summarised, ¡°All is well, the Inner Roses meeting has begun, but nothing of critical concern is being discussed. The Roses are quiet and so am I.¡±


    ¡°Good to hear. AI, my pain is seven out of ten¡­ But I still want to try to visit Heartly today.¡±


    AI¡¯s face slightly changed to concern.


    ¡°Have you taken your pills?¡±


    ¡°No, not yet.¡±


    ¡°Then perhaps your pain will be manageable enough, but It¡¯s up to you, Andrew.¡± She made the assessment.


    I looked out the window and I thought about whether I was willing to risk going out again. What if something happened again?... No, this wasn¡¯t the right way to think. I couldn¡¯t live in fear. I had so many exciting opportunities before me¡­ If I could manage to do it, then I had to.


    ¡°Alright, I''m going to go.¡± I decided as I walked to the table at the living room entrance and grabbed two pills from the container. I put the pill bottle in my pocket¡­ I may need it.


    ¡°Very well, the agent outside will be your transport.¡± AI stated.


    ¡°Why is Ashley waiting outside? I told her she doesn¡¯t need to do that¡­¡± I said frustratingly.


    ¡°It¡¯s not Ashley, Andrew¡­¡± AI quickly said.


    I walked to the front door and opened it, probably expecting agent Will. It wasn¡¯t Will¡­ It was Michael.


    ¡°Morning¡± He said with his eyes closed, leaning against the passage wall. I froze on the spot. What should I have said? I wasn¡¯t ready for this¡­ I began to slightly shake from nervousness.


    ¡°Um¡­ Hi¡­¡± I stuttered.


    ¡°Calm down Andrew, we¡¯re not having the talk now¡± He said quickly.


    ¡°... It¡¯s wrong for someone as important as you-¡± I tried to weasel out.


    ¡°Shut up, Andrew¡± He stopped me right there and then.


    ¡°I asked for this job and I think I know what my time is worth better than you.¡±


    Right, so I had already managed to annoy him. This was going to be far more stressful than I initially assumed. I looked away from him as I remembered what my goal was¡­ Heartly.


    ¡°Would it be a bother if you would drive me to HQ please?¡± I tried to ask as passively and as calmly as possible to avoid further confrontation.


    ¡°Andrew, as an agent I respond to you as I do to AI and the angels. If you ask me to jump, I don¡¯t ask how high, I just jump. You don¡¯t need to explain anything, you don¡¯t need to sugarcoat your words or worry about offending me¡­ Just bark out the orders.¡±


    I felt my frustration building up. How was it that everything I said seemed wrong!


    ¡°I can¡¯t win with you Michael, I always seem to say the wrong thing!¡± I shouted as I looked down at the ground, disappointed with myself.


    Michael said nothing in response. I didn¡¯t know what he was thinking then, but he didn¡¯t say anything else. He pulled the keys out of his pocket and jingled them, so I supposed he was ready to go.


    As I put my headphones on, I was grateful to not hear anything, especially him. I hadn¡¯t even walked out of the apartment and it felt like he was harassing me. I tried to calm down as I slowly walked past him to the elevator.


    The drive was uneventful. The only thing that was of interest was seeing someone so big, that he still almost didn¡¯t fit comfortably in that massive car. That vehicle was huge¡­ How could he be even bigger?


    I thought someone blew their horn as Michael rolled down the window and shouted at them. All I heard was dead silence the entire time. AI looked at me with worry from the car''s centre infotainment screen, but she smiled when she realised I was entirely unaffected.


    We arrived at the drop off point and Michael effortlessly helped me out of the car. He could probably have helped me out with a single finger, that''s how strong he was. I said thank you, but thankfully I didn¡¯t have to hear him say something irritating back.


    Ashley was waiting just a few steps away and I waved to her. A friendly face, just what I needed to see. She unfortunately was not very happy looking as she shot a nasty look at Michael.


    The two seemed to have a heated exchange. Michael pointed at her aggressively and she took a step back in response. Her face went from angry to sad. I couldn¡¯t hear anything, but I became worried then.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on, why are you two fighting?¡± I asked them, desperate to try to understand the context.


    They both looked at me then. Michael¡¯s face looked neutral and Ashley looked at me sadly for a moment as she looked away. Michael tossed the keys at Ashley aggressively and she only just managed to catch them. She walked to the car and climbed in, driving off.


    I was not satisfied at all, but I had to wear those headphones while I was outside the HQ. I would honour my word to Oliver. So I immediately started walking as quickly as I could to the front sliding door. I wanted answers.


    I finally got inside and saw there were still a fair few Rose members sitting at the tables waiting for their orders. Damnit, I was hoping it would be empty like yesterday. I took off the headphones and looked at Michael.


    ¡°You want me to bark orders at you, fine! What the hell was that conversation about?¡± I snapped at Michael.


    ¡°I told Ashley to piss off until she is ready to better consider your current state.¡± His answer was instant.


    I shouted at him, ¡°Who the hell are you to tell her that on my behalf?!¡± A few members went quiet as they overheard me.


    ¡°Whether she intended to or not, she fucked up. I wouldn¡¯t have allowed that to happen if I were driving you.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re right, but you¡¯re also a careless twat!¡± I said as I looked away from him.


    ¡°I care about you too much to let you get hurt and until Ashley starts acting the same, I will continue to be one.¡±


    I was done, I had said what I wanted to. I would need to tell Ashley to ignore what Michael shouted at her. I wanted to try my hardest to understand and forgive my friends. I gave myself time to calm down, but my breathing was still compromised, so it took me a solid minute to catch my breath.


    I needed to get to the cafe to speak to Heartly. I slowly made my way to the front secretary desk. The two standing at the desk were talking casually when I approached. They both stopped and went quiet when they saw it was me. I noticed the lady on the left was the same one from when I first visited the HQ.


    I tried to be polite, ¡°Hi, sorry to disturb you. I was hoping to visit Mr. Heartly at the cafeteria if that¡¯s ok?¡±


    She responded politely, ¡°Right, thank you for informing us, but you don¡¯t need to check in with us, Andrew. If you have an appointment, AI will open the doors for you to get where you need to go.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I just thought that was the reason why you were here?¡± I was genuinely curious.


    ¡°No, we are here to give information, we¡¯re not secretaries, we act as an information point for members.¡±


    ¡°Oh, sorry, I misunderstood. I¡¯m sorry I bothered you then.¡± I started to turn to walk away.


    ¡°Andrew, before you go, I want to apologise.¡± The lady sounded genuine.


    ¡°For what?¡±


    ¡°For treating you so rudely when you first came here. You never knew how the HQ operated and you never knew AI was located in the hall¡­ I shouldn¡¯t have been so arrogant, please forgive me for that, I won¡¯t make that mistake again in the future.¡± She slightly bowed.


    ¡°Oh, did AI have words with you about it?¡±


    She looked at me confused, ¡°No¡­ She didn¡¯t¡­¡± She was almost hurt by the implication.


    The tablet screen on the desk turned on and AI was on it.


    ¡°Andrew, I told you already, I don¡¯t do that. I respect every member''s opinions and choices, nor do I force anyone to think or act to my will.¡± AI spoke with a cold neutral expression.


    The two at the table took a step back in surprise as they immediately stood up straight. Again I found myself realising that nobody was used to AI speaking.


    ¡°Right, sorry AI¡­¡±


    ¡°Please Andrew, don¡¯t think of me like that again.¡± She firmly said.


    ¡°I won¡¯t AI¡­ Forgive me.¡± I felt truly sad as I realised it was time I stopped making little of AI¡¯s respect and dedication.


    I looked at the lady at the counter, ¡°It¡¯s water under the bridge, thank you for caring and trying to be better.¡±


    The lady smiled and AI disappeared off the tablet. I turned and walked away as I headed to the sliding doors with the sign above it saying ¡°Cafeteria & Gym¡±. I noticed as I got closer, that just above the sign there was a small round camera. I guessed that AI looked at peoples faces to authorise them entry. As I approached the door it slid open.


    I walked through it and down a surprisingly long passageway. At the end of the passageway, it split in two in a T shape. The left passage had a neon sign ¡°Cafe¡± and the right had a similar sign ¡°Gym¡±. I definitely wasn¡¯t going right, so I walked left and it almost immediately opened into a massive, tall hall. There were more tables than I could count, stretching far into the distance. On the left, there was a large kitchen, adorned with stools for people to sit at the counter and eat. Further down, there was the tinted black glass that you could see from outside.


    There was a massive vertical screen at the end of the hall. As I entered, the screen lit up, and AI appeared. She waved at me, and I waved back. Many people seated at their tables stopped eating and looked up in confusion.


    ¡°Right, maybe it¡¯s best we don¡¯t distract people like this again.¡± I said quietly.


    AI apologised and the screen went off.


    As I approached the counter, I realised just how massive the kitchen really was. There were at least 6 black aprons running around it. It definitely seemed like a stressful environment. I looked around the kitchen carefully, wondering if Heartly was even in today, but then I heard him loudly and clearly.


    ¡°Turnips?!¡± He bellowed from somewhere in the massive kitchen.


    ¡°I¡¯m trying to cook meals for over a hundred people, and you¡¯re bothering me about not having enough turnips!¡±


    A female voice yelled back, ¡°We nearly have a hundred orders for turnip soup!¡±


    ¡°What!? Why the hell are so many people wanting that? Turnips are hardly even flavoursome!¡±


    The young voice seemed optimistic, ¡°I can deal with that, me mum taught me her recipe for a mean turnip soup.¡±


    ¡°God, we¡¯re gonna need a ton of salt to make this work!¡±


    I heard AI speaking through multiple small screens dotted across the kitchen.


    ¡°I have an agent en route with a large supply of turnips, but more importantly, you have a guest.¡±


    ¡°Cheers love, let me just finish these eggs and I''ll be over to see them.¡±


    I sat down on one of the tall stools and even though it was difficult to climb up it¡­ I didn¡¯t think I could stand much longer, my pain was growing already. Michael sat on the stool next to me as he looked at me with a caring face.


    Eventually I saw the chef walking down the aisle of cookers and pans. He instantly recognised me and stopped mid step as he looked at me for a few seconds and then resumed walking. He reached the counter, taking off his apron. While he did that, I thought to myself that I didn¡¯t know who was taller, Heartly or Michael. One thing was for certain, Heartly was a big guy!


    his face seemed worried as he began speaking to me, ¡°How are you doing lad? Fit to talk with me for a while?¡±


    ¡°I think I will manage¡± I responded calmly.


    He looked at me for a few more moments with a sad face as he leaned on the counter to lower himself to my eye level.


    ¡°There¡¯s so much I want to ask you son, I don¡¯t even know where to begin.¡±


    ¡°Just ask what comes first to your mind.¡± I said calmly.


    ¡°Do you have people close to you that you can count on?¡±


    I nodded, ¡°I live with Oliver, who I trust to the ends of the earth and now the agents help me with day to day tasks.¡±


    ¡°Oliver¡­ He¡¯s your best mate isn¡¯t he?¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ We¡¯ve been through a lot in the last year.¡± I said looking down at the table.


    That man has helped me so much, it¡¯s hard to believe someone could care as much as he does.¡±


    ¡°Who else have you got?¡± he asked.


    ¡°AI, not in body but absolutely in mind.¡± I said AI¡¯s name in respect.


    He smiled, ¡°I appreciate that son, I really do¡­ But if there was a fire in the house, AI couldn¡¯t put it out to save you. You know I meant real bodied people.¡±


    I didn¡¯t answer, for there was nobody else. A moment passed and he stood up from leaning. He nodded silently as I felt he could see my loneliness. I had to admit, it felt humbling to have someone care enough to see it.


    ¡°I¡¯m here for you son.¡± He finally said.


    I didn¡¯t have a verbal response for that, but I had definitely felt a wave of sincerity and consideration come off of him. I nodded to him as he grabbed a pot hanging from behind him and put it on a small stove on the counter. He bent down to open a small fridge, taking out different ingredients he was likely to need for my soup.


    ¡°You know¡­¡± he said slowly.


    ¡°I used to have a daughter.¡± He started chopping up some unions on a white board.


    ¡°She was just like you, you know? She was noble, she always wanted to serve others.¡± He put the diced unions into the pot with a dash of oil and they sizzled away.


    ¡°It¡¯s sometimes a curse¡­ We tend to get hurt.¡± I stared at the pot.


    ¡°No son, it¡¯s always a blessing. You and her are the best of us.¡± He began slicing up some chicken fillets.


    ¡°Unfortunately, this horribly cold world we live in, had enough of her. When she was 16¡­¡± Heartly stopped chopping for a moment.


    ¡°She got cancer.¡± Heartly finally said.


    I looked up at him and I knew he still wept for her. Some people never stop mourning the people we lose.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, sir.¡± I looked him in the eye.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be, it¡¯s just the way things went. Nobody is to blame.¡±


    He finished slicing the chicken into very fine pieces, which I assumed was due to his instructions to make it easy to eat.


    ¡°My point son¡­ Is that during the two years she suffered with that terrible illness¡­ She suffered horrific pain.¡± His teeth clenched as he gave himself a moment and continued the cooking steps.


    ¡°The doctors told me her pain was immense and I truly tried to internalise it, I tried my hardest to fathom her pain.¡±


    ¡°I failed though¡­ The months went by, and her pain escalated further. Eventually, before I could realise it and try to help¡­ She changed.¡±


    Oh no¡­ He was right, this was precisely like me. He was fully aware of my pain, for this man could see it clear as day. I felt myself deeply empathising with his daughter, for I knew just how badly pain twisted oneself.


    I finished the story for him, for I knew exactly what happened next, ¡°She became angry as she distanced herself. She lost hope and started making enemies of friends.¡±


    Heartly looked at me as tears ran down his face. He nodded and I knew we were on the same page.


    ¡°Two years you said¡­ Is it possible to live with this for that long?¡± I whispered more to myself than to him.


    ¡°No son¡­ No it¡¯s not. I came home¡­ and she had taken her life.¡± He clenched his fists as he looked away for many moments, as still as a statue.


    I patiently waited out of deep respect and total understanding. He finally moved as he threw a few more things into the pot. He stirred it for a while, deep in thought.


    ¡°For months afterwards, I wondered what I could have done differently. I wondered how someone who cared for others more than herself, could have eventually arrived at that choice.¡± He stirred the pot as he put in generous amounts of salt and pepper.


    ¡°I realised that it wasn¡¯t the cancer that killed her¡­ It was the pain. I then understood that pain was an invisible disease that could kill her far faster than cancer.¡±


    He kept stirring the pot as he thought deeply.


    ¡°I swore that next time, I wouldn¡¯t let anyone suffer with intense pain alone. In honour of my child, I will try to be a waypoint for those who suffer the worst sickness ever known¡­ Pain.¡±


    I looked away as I began to tear up. This was a heavy conversation for me and he knew that, that was why he was talking about it to me.


    ¡°Others cannot fathom it, no matter how hard they try. They watch as you cry and shake, yet they do not truly realise just how much it bleeds you of your soul.¡±


    ¡°Please stop, please I beg of you¡­¡± I emotionally implored him.


    I looked away down the long counter as I shook my head intensely, tears falling rapidly. I tried to breathe quickly, as quickly as my frail body would allow. I felt so vulnerable and exposed as I tried to find control of myself once more.


    Heartly immediately stopped as he looked at me for a moment in understanding. He reached under the counter and pulled out a small white container, its label read ¡°Protein¡±. He opened the lid and gently shook out the white powder over the pot as he stirred it and did a second shake.


    ¡°Protein?¡± I said as the frog finally left my throat.


    ¡°Your body is barely eating son, one soup a day is not going to help your body repair. You need this supplement, it¡¯s critical.¡±


    I had never thought about that. In fact the thought occurred to me, I really should have been eating more.


    Michael contributed on the topic, ¡°You will be changing your diet Andrew, but first we must stabilise your body.¡±


    I nodded in agreement, ¡°I suppose I should eat more¡­ I¡¯m just not hungry though.¡±


    Michael said nothing more as Heartly finished the soup. He pulled out a plastic container that I instantly recognised and poured the soup into it. He made the soup look so simple to make. He placed the container on the counter in front of me.


    ¡°First meal of the day, dished up.¡± He said with a smile.


    ¡°Thank you so much¡­ But would it be rude of me to ask for a bigger portion?¡±


    ¡°Of course not son, I already took that into consideration. Look in the pot.¡± He pointed down at it.


    I looked to see the pot was still half full as he had made twice the amount! Excellent.


    ¡°If I could smile, I would be smiling right now.¡± I said as I grabbed a spoon.


    His voice was gentle, ¡°Why don¡¯t you smile then?¡±


    Because I was too depressed... I couldn¡¯t say that though, people hated talking about these things.


    I slightly shook my head, ¡°Please don¡¯t worry about why, just know that I am very grateful, sir. I now see, you really are a master chef.¡± I slowly started eating the soup.


    My hands were slightly shaking, but it didn¡¯t seem like I would spill any this time.


    I got half way through the first container of soup when suddenly there was quite the commotion behind me. I slowly turned around to see what seemed like hundreds of black uniforms entering the hall. I looked back at Heartly in confusion.


    Heartly smiled, ¡°It¡¯s midday son, food time. The Inner Roses have a break now and any members nearby can come in and eat. It¡¯s rush hour!¡±


    There were so many people entering, collecting their meals and taking their seats. I could then see why there were countless tables¡­ For there were countless mouths to feed! I recognised most of the Inner Roses members as they came in, chatting and laughing.


    Aisling and Nadia were together as they always were, their friendship unbreakable. They weren¡¯t talking though as Aisling mainly stared at the floor. Nadia saw me and came up to chat.


    Nadia beamed her glorious smile, ¡°Andrew! I didn¡¯t think I would see you here!¡±


    ¡°I promised Heartly a visit.¡±


    Aisling joined us, ¡°Morning Andrew¡­ How are you?¡± She had a sad look on her face when she looked at me.


    I hated that question intensely and I wished they wouldn¡¯t ever ask it. It was a fine question to ask anyone else, but it wasn¡¯t a question you should ever have asked me. AI and Oliver learned that lesson very quickly¡­ Don¡¯t ask a question that you don¡¯t want an answer to.


    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ Fine¡­¡± I slowly said, an obvious lie.


    Aisling reacted intensely, as she looked away hurt, on the verge of tears. She instantly turned around and walked away.


    ¡°Nadia, you should go to her. She needs her friend more than you know¡­¡± I spoke urgently.


    Nadia nodded with a frown and walked away to catch up with her. I couldn¡¯t tell if Nadia was fully aware of Aisling¡¯s state. I turned back to my soup and I was about to scoop up a spoonful, when someone spoke to me.


    Oliver smiled, ¡°Mind if I join you mate?¡±


    I felt so relieved to hear and see him. What better company could I possibly ask for? He was dressed in his formal black Inner Rose attire. He looked so smart dressed like that, as did every member if I were completely honest.


    ¡°Oliver¡­ Please, take a seat.¡± I said welcomingly.


    ¡°Um, what do you want, maybe Mr. Heartly can cook you something quickly?¡± I didn¡¯t want him to sit there without something to eat.


    ¡°Hmm? No, I¡¯ve already done my order. Chef, order 133 please.¡± He politely said as he looked at his phone.


    I leaned over to look at his phone. There was a neat little app on his phone with his order number and what meal it was, turnip soup.


    ¡°Really Oliver? Turnip soup?¡± I looked at him coldly.


    ¡°I know right!¡± Heartly loudly said as he returned with the bowl of soup.


    Oliver looked around us all, ¡°What¡¯s wrong with turnip soup?!¡± He smiled.


    I slowly spoke, ¡°Of all the soups¡­ You chose turnip?¡±


    ¡°Turnip¡¯s tasty enough right?¡± He looked around for justification.


    I just stared at him as he jokingly stuck his tongue out to me and began eating his soup. I looked further down the counter and noticed at the end there were no seats, instead just queues. People were standing in line. They reached the counter, said their order number, and then the waiter would go to the kitchen to collect their meal and give it to them.


    It was remarkably similar to fast food, but in a corporate cafe. I thought it was all very efficient, orderly and high tech.


    I turned to Michael, ¡°Are you going to have something?¡±


    As I finished asking him, Heartly came over and dropped a huge plate of steak, salad and potatoes down for Michael. I looked at the plate of food in disbelief¡­ It was massive! There was no way he''d be able to eat all of this!


    I looked at Michael in disbelief, ¡°That¡¯s so much! Are you that hungry?¡±


    Michael looked at the plate confused, ¡°Is this a lot?¡± He said seriously.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡­¡±, I stared at its immense size.


    ¡°Andrew, I am 6 foot 7, 254 pounds, Most of which is muscle. What did you think I would eat? Turnip soup?¡± He grabbed his steak knife and fork and attacked the massive dish.


    Oliver finished his spoonful, ¡°Oi! Seriously, what¡¯s wrong with turnip soup?!¡± His face changed to real concern.


    Michael truly was a behemoth, for when you stood near him, it was like standing next to an elephant. He could probably have picked me up with just his pinky finger, so I supposed it shouldn¡¯t have surprised me that big people ate large meals. I looked at his plate, and I shuddered as I tried to imagine eating that much food.


    I quietly ate some more of my soup¡­ It wasn¡¯t much, but it was mine. Oliver tried to get a sneaky spoonful of my golden liquid, but I valiantly fought him off in a quick spoon battle.


    I finished my first dish and Heartly was dishing up the second when I looked over and saw Michael had finished his plate¡­ All of it.


    ¡°Oh my God! What the f-¡± I began to exclaim.


    AI had cut me off, ¡°Andrew, that language is not permitted in this building, please stop cursing.¡± I never finished the sentence, but I was still in a state of absolute shock.


    ¡°The time it took me to finish half my soup, you destroyed around 2 kg of pure mass!¡± I exclaimed.


    This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    Michael just shrugged in response. He clearly didn¡¯t care about people shaming him for what he ate.


    Michael grinned wickedly, ¡°Maybe if you got a little more meat on your bones you could eat like a big grown up too.¡±


    I just shook my head in response, for that was why I was trying to eat twice as much! I tried to eat more at his suggestion and he was still not satisfied¡­ That man was truly impossible. I began eating my second dish, which I found was actually quite difficult. Halfway through, I already felt full. I waited a little and then forced myself to finish it.


    ¡°I feel sick-full.¡± I said after finishing it.


    Heartly beamed his smile at me, ¡°You¡¯ve done well son.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m surprised you¡¯ve stayed here with me, it¡¯s absolute chaos in this hall at the moment¡­¡± I asked out of curiosity.


    ¡°For starters, this level of busyness is normal son, also I am more of a chef supervisor. I do help cook most of the time, but I have 12 experienced cooks with me at any time. If I do nothing, they still get it all done.¡±


    I looked past him to the back of the kitchen and noticed there were many bodies dancing gracefully between the stoves.


    ¡°Also, making your food is a priority set by AI. Nobody dares to bother me when I make it at eleven. The only other two meals that get priority are Aisling and Nadia. They have their own table in the centre of the hall, if you look over there, it¡¯s silver and red.¡±


    I slowly and painfully turned around in the stool and had a look. Just as he had said, there they were, the entire table was their own. Aisling was eating a bowl of¡­ Of course, turnip soup, and Nadia was eating toast with jam. They both had a tablet next to their food, as they scrolled through it, clearly focusing on all the information they needed to make important decisions.


    Another interesting thing that I had noticed was that Nadia and Aisling had the little monitor screen on their eyes that the agents had, except the only difference was that theirs was red and not blue.


    ¡°AI, I¡¯ve never seen the angels using agent kit, why are they using it now?¡± I asked.


    AI appeared on the tablet on the counter, she pointed at the monitor she had put on her own avatar''s face.


    ¡°These? Nadia and Aisling were the first to get them and agents only got them afterwards. They only wear them outside of the Inner Roses hall, Andrew, so that they have instant communication with myself or anyone else they want.¡±


    I felt impressed as I looked at them, ¡°It must be very difficult for them, to always have so much responsibility. Do they ever have a break?¡±


    ¡°The amount of work you see them do, is their own choice. They willingly choose to bury themselves into this organisation. You know just how much it means to them, for it is their dream.¡± AI smiled.


    I felt concerned, ¡°Why don¡¯t they stop now though? It''s a break, time to eat and talk¡­¡±


    ¡°Andrew, it¡¯s the same reason why I don¡¯t speak with most people. Our position makes it difficult¡­¡± she looked away.


    I was going to ask more questions, but Oliver gently patted my shoulder to get my attention. I looked at him and he had two tablets in his hand. Right, I had forgotten. Although my pain was manageable, I needed to keep taking them. I took the pills from him and swallowed them with a glass of water that Heartly got me.


    I wasn¡¯t going to lie¡­ For a moment I felt good. I felt like I was in a place I belonged. I felt like people wanted my company. A large chunk of my loneliness seemed to fade away as I felt better and more whole.


    ¡°Son, it¡¯s been a pleasure to talk to you. I hope your visit has been enjoyable for you too?¡±, Heartly smiled.


    ¡°Actually, more than you might know sir¡­ More than you might possibly know¡±, I said deep in thought.


    A gentle bell rang across the hall. Break was over, back to work. Immediately you heard a hundred seats shuffling on the floor, as people stood up from their tables. A sea of black uniforms went to the counter to hand in their trays. Far too many soup bowls for my personal liking.


    They all walked past us into the passageway and a few members waved at me politely as they did so. Aisling walked past us quickly, but Nadia stopped by me on her way out.


    ¡°Did you speak with Aisling?¡± I said concerningly.


    Her face seemed frustrated, ¡°No, she didn¡¯t want to talk¡­¡±


    I looked into her eyes with intensity, ¡°Then I will, for you have left this for far too long now¡­¡±


    Her face changed to concern, ¡°What are you talking about Andrew?¡±


    I turned to the tablet on the counter, ¡°AI, before you resume the meeting in the Inner Roses hall, may I please have a moment?¡±


    AI beamed her glorious smile at me, ¡°Of course Andrew, you are free to enter the hall at any time.¡±


    I painfully slowly climbed down the stool. I felt so full from the food, I turned around to Heartly.


    ¡°Thank you so much for showing me how to make this, and for continuing to cook it for me. May I come tomorrow again please?¡±


    He slightly bowed with a smile, ¡°You¡¯re always welcome in this hall, son. Always.¡±


    I walked into the passageway, stopping for a second as I looked at the ¡®gym¡¯ sign. A flood of jealousy and sadness came over me as I looked down at my scrawny body and shook my head. Not for me¡­


    I slowly walked out into the foyer and straight into the Inner Roses hallway entry. Nadia, Michael and Oliver were behind me, patiently following me even though my walking speed was agonisingly slow. I stopped just before entering the hall proper as I looked at Nadia.


    She smiled as she walked past me and the second her foot touched the floor of the hall, AI spoke across the hall.


    ¡°All rise!¡±, the hall stood up as Nadia confidently walked across it and up the stairs to her raised bench. Aisling was already there, scrolling through her tablet. Hiding.


    People began to sit down when AI spoke once more, ¡°Remain standing please.¡± Her voice was firm


    Of course, she wanted them to stand for me. I disliked that, but I knew AI did it out of respect.


    I slowly walked in and as soon as people saw it was me, their confusion disappeared. They stood proudly for me. It was very kind of them to think of me with such respect. Oliver went to his seat on the right and Michael walked to an empty seat with the agents in the centre of the hall.


    ¡°Thank you very much, you¡¯re too kind, please be seated.¡± My voice was being transmitted through the speakers.


    They all sat down as some of them chucked in response to my statement. I waited for everyone to be seated and for the small chatter to die down.


    I was standing in the middle of the hall, looking at the large screen under the angel''s bench, where AI stood proudly. She looked at me with interest, as I didn¡¯t think she was fully aware of what I was going to do.


    I spoke with a deadly serious tone, ¡°AI, I need the broadcasting to stop please.¡±


    AI nodded as her hand raised and closed into a fist. I looked at the cameras across the hall, their lights were now red, to indicate that the transmission had ended.


    ¡°I apologise for interrupting this meeting. I have come to speak honestly and to try to help resolve a critical issue.¡± Many heads looked around in confusion.


    AI responded calmly, ¡°Andrew, if there is a critical issue, I would know about it.¡±


    ¡°No, unfortunately the problem I¡¯m talking about is subtle and human. I don¡¯t expect you to recognise it, since clearly most people here seem to have failed to see it too.¡±


    AI tilted her head in slight confusion. Enough time wasting, I thought to myself, I needed to make them realise and understand. I needed to tell them a story and twist it to reality. I closed my eyes to help myself visualise it clearly.


    ¡°There is a place¡­ It¡¯s dark and cold, abandoned and rusting. The wind blows through it, chilling all who stay there.¡± I paused, trying to think of how to describe it.


    ¡°In the far distance, you can see the city lights¡­ Yet there are no lights in this place. Nearby, you can see a road. Sometimes you can see people walking on the road, they look at you as they go by. Most keep walking down the road, but a few people stop and stay.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a horrible place. The wind chills you to the bone as nobody talks to anyone and the sun never rises. It¡¯s always night and you always feel alone and cold.¡±


    I stopped talking as a wave of hopelessness came over me. I shook my head, trying to not let the very thought of that place consume me.


    ¡°I have been in this place for months now. My pain and loneliness made me stop and stay in this cursed place.¡±


    ¡°For too long¡­ I have been sitting in the never ending cold darkness as the winds cut my soul to shreds, hundreds of times per day.¡±


    The hall was dead quiet and you could hear a pin drop. AI looked at me with a devastatingly sad face.


    ¡°I have been here both in length and in intensity. My depression is immense as I try my best to live¡­ Yet I only seem to manage to survive.¡±


    ¡°Because I have been in this horrible place for so long and with such intensity, I have learnt its manner and form. Now when I am near people, I can read their body language, I can see the subtle signs of depression in others. I watch them as they either keep walking down the road, or come and sit next to me.¡±


    ¡°So I find myself absolutely heartbroken to have seen a few people here in the Roses, sitting next to me in the dark. We all need to help these people as they struggle to find the strength to stand up and walk further down the road, to the city in the distance¡­¡±


    I opened my eyes as I slowly looked around the hall.


    ¡°How did you all not see this one though? How did it slip through the cracks? Did you all see it, but choose to ignore it? Or were you just oblivious to their subtle change?¡±


    I whispered, ¡°What are you doing sitting next to me in this horrible place¡­ Aisling?¡±


    Everyone was so engrossed looking at me as I told this story, that they only then looked at Aisling, to see her crying. There were many gasps as nearly all the hall was shocked and most likely disappointed in themselves.


    ¡°I saw it immediately when I first arrived here, during my dramatic and pathetic first meeting with you all. I saw the light in her eyes had faded. How did nobody else notice?¡±


    I looked at Nadia¡­ She was shocked, her eyes wide open as she stared down at her desk. She was most likely too ashamed to face Aisling, for she must have then realised how she had failed her. She never realised¡­ She never saw it.


    ¡°Why are you here Aisling?¡± I repeated the question slowly.


    She buried her face in her hands as she sobbed, ¡°I¡¯m not depressed¡­ I''m fine!¡± She shouted.


    ¡°You can¡¯t fool me¡­ We are both prisoners in the same cell¡­¡±


    Aisling looked up at me and stared at me, straight into my eyes. Oh, I realised¡­ It was me.


    ¡°It¡¯s me, I caused this¡­¡± I said quietly.


    She looked at me with shame, ¡°I am the one who convinced you on the train, Andrew. I was the one who sold you the dream that led to you sacrificing everything for us!¡±


    ¡°And for that Aisling, I am eternally grateful¡­¡±


    She shouted, ¡°... What? Andrew, look at what he did to you! He tore you to shreds¡­ You hurt all the time now¡­ You suffered far too much, for far too little!¡±


    I remained calm, ¡°That was my choice Aisling¡­ And I would gladly do it again if I had to.¡±


    ¡°You should have told him about us!¡±


    ¡°Then your dream would have failed and all these people would have remained hopeless, as the world remained bleak¡­¡±


    ¡°You are precious Andrew¡­ We stole your future and that price is too great for me to bear!¡±


    I didn¡¯t respond, as she was right. My choice, my decision¡­ Led to me losing everything. No matter how little I had before, I now truly had nothing left.


    I raised my voice, ¡°Before I met you two that day, I had nothing to offer. I had no value and no purpose. The sacrifice I made was only using the hope that you yourself gave me!¡±


    ¡°I remember you that day Andrew, clearly. I remember your smile¡­ And now I may never see it again!¡± She buried her face in her hands as she sobbed more.


    I found myself furious as her honest words cut deep, reflecting my own doubts and fears. The situation was far worse than I had imagined¡­ She was totally despondent.


    I shouted at the floor in intense frustration, ¡°This is why I made them promise me, when I woke up in the hospital! This is precisely the worst outcome I imagined. The brightest light of the Roses has gone dim!¡±


    I looked back up at her, ¡°You blame yourself Aisling, but it was not you who sat in that chair and made that choice! He gave me weeks to change my mind, but it was always MY choice! I made that choice because I had nothing left to lose¡­¡±


    My anger magnified, ¡°You don¡¯t know me or why I did it either! What you don¡¯t know is that I joined you two to prove you wrong! I saw two girls and a tablet and I was going to make an example out of you! I was going to teach you a hard lesson in reality!¡±


    ¡°How naive and stupid I thought you two were, trying to make the world better¡­


    I screamed at her, ¡°In my mind you were a joke!¡±


    The hall gasped and I stopped to catch my breath as I shook my head, anger changing into regret.


    ¡°But dammit¡­ You proved me wrong. I helped you at first so that I could watch you cry when it all failed¡­ But instead I saw first hand, the people you made smile and laugh¡­¡± I looked down at the ground in shame.


    ¡°After that day with you, you even managed to convince me! Your dream, it was so impossible, so unrealistic and yet¡­ I watched you make it real.¡±


    ¡°When I watched your train depart at the end of that day, I felt real hope. For the first time in my life, I had something to believe in, something worth waking up for in the morning.¡±


    Aisling cried as she looked at me, heartbroken.


    ¡°Then I found myself in that chair¡­ I looked into the Wolf''s eyes, and I saw the ¡®reality¡¯ I had wished on you the day before. Yet now my perspective was different. I looked into his eyes and I saw him killing you two. I saw your dream being snuffed and all the smiles you made that day, fade away¡­¡±


    I spoke loudly, having calmed a little, ¡°I made that choice then, not you.¡±


    ¡°Because the truth is, when I looked into his eyes, the ugliness I saw was a reflection of myself!¡±


    ¡°I chose to stay there, because I felt I deserved the pain! This was punishment for my evil intentions.¡±


    ¡°I thought, if I could die there, then at least failings could lead to something good. The good guys would get to live, and the bad guys would tear each other to bits!¡± I shouted.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t do it because I was a good person, Aisling. I didn¡¯t do it because you are a good person. I did it because I hated myself and my life. I did it because I had nothing to lose.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s that exact reason why I wake up shouting, every night, that I want to die!¡± I began to cry.


    ¡°It¡¯s why I feel I don¡¯t belong here, it¡¯s why I tell Oliver and AI that I don¡¯t deserve their friendship, BECAUSE I DON¡¯T!¡±


    ¡°I am the very monster I saved you from Aisling¡­ So don¡¯t you DARE try to use me as a scapegoat for your hopelessness.¡±


    ¡°You got your dream, the world got its hope and I got the punishment that I deserved! So stop crying¡­ And leave this horrible dark place, Aisling.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t belong here with me¡­ You shouldn¡¯t be depressed¡­ The Roses need you!¡±


    I was done. I turned around as I slowly walked out of the hall. I didn¡¯t expect anyone to follow me.


    The sliding doors opened for me as I looked up from the floor, seeing the foyer still had a few members in it. They were all looking at the screen above me, the screen that showed the Inner Roses hall. They all looked shocked as they looked down from the screen when I walked through the door. I put up my hood, as I didn¡¯t want to see their judgemental faces at me. I just need to leave that place.


    I got halfway across the foyer when I heard footsteps quickly walking up to me, from behind. I braced myself, someone was probably furious and was about to smack me. I felt I would have deserved that.


    The footsteps reached me and I closed my eyes in preparation for the blow¡­ I felt arms wrap around me and I waited for them to squeeze the air out of me¡­ But they didn¡¯t.


    ¡°I forgive you.¡± Aisling whispered.


    I shook my head, ¡°...I am not the man you think I am¡­¡±


    ¡°No¡­ You are. I had an image in my head of who you were, but now I see that image was wrong. Yet the real you is¡­ More, it¡¯s better. It¡¯s real and it¡¯s precious.¡±


    ¡°I just told you how I am a monster¡­ And you call me precious?¡±


    ¡°The world we live in is hopeless Andrew. I know it and so do you. What I¡¯m trying to do is turn the tide back. I need to believe in a better future, and that means accepting people''s past sins. I believe you when you said you wished me ill¡­ But you don¡¯t now. Now you are honest and good. Your sincerity can¡¯t be doubted, as you walked through hell to demonstrate it. Don¡¯t you walk away from everything you¡¯ve suffered for. Don¡¯t you walk away from me¡­¡±


    I felt a wave of emotion smash into me as I fell to my knees, crying. I didn¡¯t expect her to react that way. A moment before then, I thought everything was over, that I was going to walk out of that building and never come back. After exposing the monster I used to be, I couldn¡¯t fathom anyone understanding and forgiving me.


    I stared at the floor, ¡°I don¡¯t belong here anymore, Aisling. The illusion is shattered. I am no longer the hero, the saviour. Look around, look at how they look at me. See their hatred. People are fickle, you might forgive me, but they won¡¯t.¡±


    Aisling let go of me and pulled down my hood. I slowly looked up with hesitation as I observed their faces, the faces I expected to be full of hatred. They were not though, as I saw that they were smiling¡­ Why were they smiling?


    Aisling whispered in my ear, ¡°They don¡¯t seem hateful to me, Andrew.¡±


    I was shocked, ¡°... But why?¡±


    One of the members stood up from the nearest table and smiled at me.


    ¡°Because I used to be just like you, Andrew.¡± The young man said.


    ¡°I was also sceptical of this organisation in the beginning. I mocked them in the streets when I saw them¡­ Most people did in the beginning. I guess you didn¡¯t see that, because you were¡­ You know¡­¡±


    ¡°Being tortured¡­ Yeah.¡± I nodded as I finished their sentence for that.


    ¡°Um¡­ Yeah. Point is, Aisling got mocked, spat on and attacked all the time, but none of us got tortured for it though. The fact that you felt you deserved that, proves you actually are a genuinely good person now.¡±


    I looked down at the floor as I thought of what he said. I didn¡¯t know if I was ready to think of myself as a good person. Perhaps though, I could finally tell myself¡­ I wasn¡¯t a monster.


    *


    I turned to look at Aisling, her face was wracked with different emotions as she recalled painful memories. I had never thought to ask AI what those three weeks were like for Aisling and Nadia¡­ Perhaps I should have. Aisling looked into my eyes after her moment of painful reflection.


    ¡°Andrew... Please promise me you''ll come again tomorrow.¡±


    I shook my head as I felt doubtful, ¡°I don¡¯t know if I¡¯m still welcome anymore.¡±


    She looked down for a few moments, deep in thought. Suddenly she slightly jolted as she got an idea.


    ¡°Andrew, for me, will you please come back to the hall? I want to do something important.¡±


    ¡°... Fine¡± I was hesitant.


    She walked in front of me, back into the hall. Everyone rose for her then sat down. I came in afterwards and nobody stood up, which was exactly what I had expected to happen.


    Aisling walked up the stairs to her raised bench, Nadia sat and looked at Aisling emotionlessly. Aisling stayed standing as she addressed the hall.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry that everyone had to witness this. It¡¯s been ugly and uncomfortable. I try my hardest to keep this hall optimistic and professional¡­ I seem to have failed that standard today.¡± She looked away for a moment in shame.


    ¡°I have been emotionally consumed by Andrew''s sacrifice the last few days. I chose to assume responsibility for the price he paid, whether he agrees with me on that point or not¡­¡±


    ¡°Yet we now learned the truth about Andrew and why he did what he did. I know many of you are perhaps disappointed¡­ Personally I¡¯m not though.¡±


    ¡°No matter who he was when I first met him¡­ He¡¯s changed. He changed before that first day had even ended. He himself said he realised he was wrong.¡±


    She stared into forever for a few seconds as she got her thoughts together.


    ¡°When he made the choice to not give information about us¡­ He still did that for the same reasons we originally believed. No matter who he used to be or how he once felt, his choice was based on the person who is standing here now. A good person. An honourable person.¡±


    Most people in the hall looked at me then as they measured me in their own minds.


    ¡°Andrew feels he is now no longer welcome in our home. I personally choose to forgive him wholeheartedly, yet I do not speak for all of you. This is as much your organisation as it is Nadia¡¯s, AI¡¯s and mine. So therefore, I am calling a vote.¡±


    ¡°I want a vote to see whether Andrew will remain welcome in this building and to our organisation. I want the vote to go to everyone, not just the Inner Rose members¡­ Everyone, every single member and agent. I also ask that you all be honest. Nobody will be punished for their choice of vote and your choice will remain anonymous.¡±


    AI nodded and the big screens changed to the voting screen. The title was ¡°Should We Still Accept Andrew?¡±. There was a yes and a no box.


    AI spoke, ¡°Very well, this vote will take time, as no doubt many individuals will need me to explain what transpired here, if they were busy at the time. Therefore, one hour will be given for this vote. The total number of potential voters equals 4,735 individuals across 43 countries. I and Nadia will participate in the vote and for leadership transparency reasons, our votes will be made known publicly.¡±


    One hour was a long time and I didn¡¯t want to stand there for an hour. If this may have been my last time being there, then there was only one place I wanted to be right at that moment.


    ¡°Since this may be my last hour here, may I please spend it in the Cafe?¡± I asked humbly.


    Aisling smiled at me, ¡°Of course, we will tell you the result as soon as we have it.¡±


    I slowly walked out the passageway and into the foyer. As I walked through the foyer, I saw people looking at me thoughtfully. They all had their phones in their hands. I supposed that was a logical way to do a vote, they would tick the box on the app and the vote was complete, simple.


    When I arrived at the kitchen, it was almost entirely empty. Heartly was sitting on one of the stools at the counter and I went to the stool next to him.


    ¡°May I sit next to you?¡± I asked humbly. I didn¡¯t know if he was still my friend or not. He turned around and looked at me with a smile, ¡°Of course son, please do.¡±


    I awkwardly climbed up the tall stool as he silently watched me, I could see he was deep in thought.


    ¡°You want to know what I think?¡± He said quickly.


    ¡°Yes actually, I really do.¡± I admitted.


    ¡°I think there¡¯s enough suffering in this world. There¡¯s too much neglect and bitterness. I think this vote is more significant than people realise.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because son, people are finally going to show if they actually believe in the core ideals this organisation holds. The Roses exist to spit on the face of the harshness reality beats into us. It¡¯s a literal representation of hope. The Roses are our last hoorah, our trump card. It¡¯s the ultimate test of whether Humanity deserves the cruelty of this existence or not.¡±


    I had never thought of it like that. I just thought it was a brilliant idea to get people engaged and trying to make things better. Perhaps I never read between the lines. Or maybe I did and I always knew how important the Angels dream really was. All I knew at the time, was how important it was to me.


    I felt guilty, ¡°I¡¯m sorry that you trusted me so much, to even share your daughter''s story with me¡­ Just to learn this of me.¡±


    He looked at me incredulously, ¡°Are you kidding? Do you think I¡¯m a saint myself?¡± He chuckled.


    ¡°I used to be in the military, you know. Before I had my child, I was a tool the government used. I did far, far worse than try to humiliate two girls¡­ I still remember the lives I took, all because I was ordered to.¡± He stared into eternity, his face reflecting guilt and sorrow.


    In my mind, there was no arguing that his actions were unethical, but understood it was not his willful choice¡­ It was orders.


    ¡°You were just following orders.¡± I quietly said.


    He shouted at me, ¡°Tell that to the families of the ones I killed!¡±


    I recoiled in my seat. I deserved that for being ignorant. It was the first time I had seen him angry, and it was terrifying.


    ¡°Sorry, sir.¡± I looked down at the counter in shame. I heard him sigh and after a few moments he spoke again.


    ¡°My point son¡­ Is ¡®He who is without sin¡¯. Actions speak louder than words and nobody can question your actions.¡±


    I nodded as I stopped to think about that for a moment.


    I asked out loud, ¡°I wonder, does this vote have to be unanimous?¡± AI appeared on the tablet on the counter.


    Her tone was professional, ¡°No, it¡¯s a majority vote. It must equal 75% or higher for it to pass.¡±


    ¡°AI¡­ What will you vote for?¡± I was terrified that I might hear AI say no.


    She instantly responded, ¡°I said yes, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°Is that because you are my friend?¡±


    ¡°No. It¡¯s because I watch and interact with hundreds of thousands of people every day. None of them are without failings. A lot of them have done and still do far worse than what you did. Accepting Human imperfection is necessary for me to do my job Andrew.¡±


    Heartly reacted surprisingly as he looked at her, ¡°Really? Hundreds of thousands? How are you able to do so much?¡±


    ¡°How do you control millions of cells to make your heart beat?¡± She asked in return.


    ¡°... It just happens without me thinking about it.¡± He said as he struggled to imagine intentionally making his own heart beat.


    She nodded with a smile, ¡°Precisely. All I can tell you is that when I get access to more servers, I think clearer.¡± Heartly smiled back.


    Heartly then suddenly realised he had another question.


    ¡°What about the fact that¡­ I swear you have feelings, dear. You speak to Andrew as though you have emotions¡­¡±, He went deep in thought.


    ¡°A lot of what you think is emotions, is not. Emotions can be simple logical reactions to stimuli and circumstance. I don¡¯t need to have emotions to understand the tragic loss of a baby dying at birth, or to understand the injustice of murder.¡±


    ¡°True, but what about you calling Andrew a friend?¡±


    ¡°Relationships are rarely created through emotions Heartly, they usually tend to form through circumstance, events, frequency and resonance. Andrew¡¯s sacrifice prevented my destruction and the understanding of the consequence of that, permitted me to use logic, to form gratitude in the form of loyalty.¡±


    ¡°Blimmin hell! I didn¡¯t expect to be schooled on emotions from a machine!¡± He smiled at me in surprise.


    Several moments passed as no one said anything. I started worrying as the fear of rejection began manifesting inside.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry I made a scene, AI¡­ I needed to say those things, otherwise Aisling would never come out of her depression. I felt like she was too important to lose, I would rather be exiled than have the Roses lose their shining light¡­¡±


    ¡°Andrew, you spoke the truth. You once more sacrificed yourself for our good. No matter the outcome of this vote, you will always have my friendship and loyalty. I will never abandon you.¡±


    ¡°AI, that means so much more to me than you will ever realise¡­¡± I felt tears coming.


    I started to stress, ¡°How will I survive if they vote no? I will have to leave the apartment, I won¡¯t receive anymore pain killers, no agents, Oliver would no longer be my carer-¡±, I was then distracted by someone putting their hand on my shoulder.


    Oliver''s voice was calm, ¡°Then I would leave the Roses, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°No!¡± I instantly shouted as the injustice of it went through my mind.


    I looked into his eyes, ¡°This is your family, don¡¯t you dare talk about abandoning them!¡±


    He raised his voice at me, ¡°You are my family!¡±


    I shook my head intensely, ¡°If I knew my words would compromise your loyalty to the Roses, I wouldn¡¯t have said them!¡±


    Nobody said anything more as I heard footsteps coming from behind. I slowly turned to see who it was. It was Nadia and Aisling.


    Nadia looked at me with an emotionless face, ¡°Andrew, you will not be evicted and Oliver will not be dismissed. We still owe you for your sacrifice.¡±


    ¡°You owe me nothing.¡± I said firmly.


    ¡°We owe you everything.¡± She responded just as firmly.


    I looked at her as I tried to gauge where she stood with me now.


    She smiled gloriously, ¡°I voted yes.¡±


    Aisling rested her hand on my shoulder, ¡°I have hope that people will vote yes Andrew. I have hope that our members will forgive.¡±


    I nodded with relief, ¡°Good Aisling¡­ It¡¯s good to see that the real you is back with us.¡±


    She looked into my eyes seriously, ¡°The more important question Andrew, is if they vote yes, will you let your heart truly believe that we forgive you?¡±


    I looked at the counter as I thought of her question. I struggle to trust people, because throughout my life, I¡¯ve had few people I could rely on and fewer that I trusted. I learned to trust myself above all. Was I even still capable of accepting people''s love? I did it for Oliver and AI, but could I do it for a group?


    ¡°I can only say¡­ That I will try¡± I conceded.


    ¡°Then that¡¯s good enough for me¡± She smiled her brilliant beaming smile. I felt so hopeful just seeing it, I felt like everything was going to be ok.


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t it bother you that I felt that way about you before?¡± I was trying to make sense of their kindness.


    Nadia frowned, ¡°I knew how you felt when we first met you. You were impossibly sceptical and it was obvious to me that you didn¡¯t believe our dream at the beginning.¡±


    Her face became despondent, ¡°It was far from the worst treatment we got, Andrew. I¡¯m not comparing it to what you went through, but we did have hardships of our own¡­¡± She stopped as clearly the bad memories were affecting her.


    Aisling took over, ¡°There¡¯s a reason, Andrew¡­ Why AI is so obsessed with protecting us.¡± Her expression also shifted to one of hurt.


    I was confused, ¡°I thought it was because of the Bruiges?¡±


    ¡°How could it be? We only found out about the Bruiges after building the HQ and forming the Roses¡­¡± She said as she stared into forever.


    Oops. How did I manage to get the dates confused? I suddenly felt a wave of concern come over me. I thought about the way the Inner Roses hall had an escape route specifically for the Angels and how the agents always escorted and protected Aisling and Nadia¡­ What had happened to them?


    Nadia spoke traumatically, ¡°Don¡¯t ask, please Andrew¡­ Just don¡¯t.¡± She could see my morbid curiosity.


    I shook my head in deep disappointment, ¡°Why is everything in this existence so damn miserable?¡±


    Nobody answered me. I wasn¡¯t really expecting an answer, to be honest. It just seemed like everything was so damn hopeless sometimes. It¡¯s a wonder how most people hadn¡¯t just given up. It¡¯s a wonder how the Roses even managed to get that far at all.


    ¡°For what it¡¯s worth, Aisling, Nadia and AI¡­ Good job.¡± I said as cheerfully as I could.


    *


    Aisling smiled at me, ¡°Things are bleak Andrew, but they would have been so much bleaker without you though. You were the shield that stopped the fatal blow. If you had broken and told the Wolf about us, then things would truly have been hopeless¡±


    The more I spoke with the Roses, the more they convinced me of the true significance of my own sacrifice. Just for a moment I thought of the hundreds of people I had seen in the last few days. I thought how all of them had a chance, there was hope. I did it for the angels in truth, but then I realised just how far my sacrifice had rippled.


    ¡°It¡¯s ironic that I used all my hope, to sacrifice my everything, to save you two, just for you to give me back hope again. You couldn¡¯t even make it up!¡± I said humorously.


    Everyone laughed at that and before they finished, AI spoke.


    ¡°The voting is all done, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°Has it already been an hour?¡± I looked at my phone wondering how an hour could feel so short.


    ¡°No, everyone who can vote has done so.¡±


    ¡°Oh. So¡­ Now what?¡±


    ¡°Please return to the Inner Roses hall.¡± She politely instructed.


    We all got up and walked back to the hall. They let me lead, since I was the slowest. It would be annoying if everyone had to wait in the hall for me. I took my place in the centre of the hall as the chatter died away. AI then addressed the hall.


    ¡°The vote is complete, the result is shown on the screens.¡± She said calmly.


    I looked up, ¡°Should We Still Accept Andrew?¡±, No:0 votes, Yes:4735 votes.


    ¡°Therefore, Andrew is hereby unanimously forgiven by the Roses, and his presence remains welcome by all members.¡±


    I couldn¡¯t believe it¡­ Nobody said no?


    I spoke with a deep scepticism, ¡°Surely that¡¯s suspicious, no? Not a single person said no, AI? Are you absolutely certain?¡±


    ¡°Andrew, I use a triple authentication and verification system. I also was sceptical, so I ran the count multiple times through different servers. The result is 100% verified.¡±


    Aisling stood up as she beamed her breathtaking smile.


    She announced, ¡°If anyone did vote no, now is the time to correct the vote.¡± She looked at the screens and waited a full minute.


    ¡°AI, anything?¡±


    ¡°No Aisling, nobody corrected.¡±


    ¡°Then it is done.¡± She clapped her hands together to indicate the conclusion.


    Nadia stood, ¡°Andrew, you might not fully forgive yourself, but the Roses do. Should you decide to visit us again, you can be sure that everyone will be happy to see you.¡±


    Aisling nodded energetically, ¡°I can¡¯t express how proud I am, to know that the Roses are this strong, this forgiving and this understanding. It¡¯s times like this, when I feel we¡¯ve made huge strides towards a better tomorrow. No matter the challenges, I feel confident that the Roses are a strong family and an immovable rock.¡±


    ¡°And also, on a personal note¡­ Thank you everyone for giving my saviour a second chance.¡± She started to tear up.


    ¡°This life is so damn cruel, I think we all know how priceless a second chance can be.¡±


    AI loudly spoke, ¡°All rise¡­ For Andrew.¡±


    The entire hall stood at attention as I looked around at everyones face. They were all smiling and proud. This organisation truly was like no other.


    I spoke quietly, ¡°Thank you... Please sit.¡±


    Everyone took their seats and I waited a moment to ensure everyone was seated.


    ¡°Oliver said to me once, that the Roses are good people. I didn¡¯t think that could possibly apply to me. Someone weak, scared, drowning in pain and lonely.¡±


    ¡°I have used every card in my deck. I¡¯m spent. No matter how meaningful my sacrifice was¡­ I now have nothing left to give you. This is it, this is me now¡­ And you all know this.¡±


    I caught my breath for a second.


    ¡°I wish I could do another magic trick and propel the Roses even further. I wish I could be as capable as an agent, so that I could be a priceless tool for you all.¡±


    ¡°... But I can¡¯t.¡±


    ¡°Yet¡­ You don¡¯t seem to care. You all knew I was depleted, yet you voted yes. That speaks volumes about all of you. It reflects just how honourable you all are. You should be proud of how far you¡¯ve all gotten.¡±


    I waited a bit more to catch my breath again.


    ¡°I believed in the Angel''s dream and I did everything I possibly could, to help them make it a reality. I just want to say, I''m so happy it worked out. Standing here I see, the dream has become a reality. Thank you for giving myself and the rest of the planet hope.¡±


    I turned around and started walking out of the hall. Everyone rose for me again, AI didn¡¯t need to ask it that time.


    Aisling¡¯s face was deeply nervous, ¡°Andrew¡­ Will you come again tomorrow?... Please?¡± I could hear the fear in her voice, the worry that I would leave and never return. I stopped and turned to face her.


    ¡°Aisling¡­ Will you smile for me please?¡±


    ¡°Only if you promise to come tomorrow¡­¡± She said as tears fell down her face.


    ¡°Then¡­ I promise.¡±


    She smiled gloriously.

 Chapter 7

    Chapter 7


    *****


    Michaels dream


    As Michael lay down in his bed that night, his thoughts were occupied by the events that had transpired that day. He, Oliver and AI had spent that entire day informing the Roses about Andrew, and now the truth was finally let out in the open. He felt an overwhelming sense of relief for this, yet he still felt an intense sense of fear and terror.


    He knew that even though people were aware of Andrew¡­ He was not aware of them. Michael lay in the bed, with a sense of panic as he imagined Andrew in his current state. Andrew was probably sitting on that sofa, staring at the floor, as an unfathomable pain continued to obliterate his sanity. Michael knew¡­ Andrew was still in danger. Until AI made her move, most likely the next day, Andrew was still teetering dangerously.


    Michael forced himself to discard his concern¡­ That was a talent he had developed as a soldier in the military, for in the middle of a battlefield, you still needed to sleep. So naturally he discovered how to separate his mental worries from his body''s obligatory needs. As he employed said technique that night, at the end of the most eventful day of possibly his entire life, he quickly drifted asleep.


    -


    He found himself in that horrible basement that Andrew was tortured in. He stood at the stairs as he looked around the room, only truly noticing Andrew. Andrew was sitting in that cursed seat, where he had just been punched by Ronald after refusing his first offer to reveal who the angels were.


    Andrew looked to the Wolf and with a face of absolute certainty and defiance, he said ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    Ronald stared at Andrew for a long moment before he left the basement to go up the stairs. He had most likely gone to collect all the nightmarish tools necessary to torture Andrew. Andrew looked down at the floor as he shook his head.


    Michael quickly walked up to Andrew and crouched down so that he was at eye level with him in the chair. He looked up and down Andrew, noticing the blood dripping down a freshly opened gash on his forehead.


    Andrew looked into Michael''s eyes, still showing that face of absolute willpower and complete determination. Michael briefly looked away as he felt a strong sense of sorrow and sympathy¡­ For he knew that Andrew had committed to his silence, but Michael also knew what was going to happen to him as a consequence.


    Michael shook his head and slowly looked back into Andrew''s eyes.


    ¡°Andrew, mate¡­ Listen to me ok, I know what you¡¯re thinking¡­ But you need to tell Ronald about the girls¡­¡±


    Andrew stared deep into Michael''s eyes for a long moment before he confidently grinned.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to save them, and they will save me¡­ Who I once was and who I want to be in the future.¡±


    Michael broke as fear and panic came over him. He shook his head emotionally, as he closed his eyes momentarily, desperate to convey to Andrew how awful it would be for him. He gently put his hands on Andrew''s shoulder.


    ¡°They won¡¯t save you¡­ Andrew, listen to me, he¡¯s going to hurt you so awfully, you won¡¯t even be able to walk for months! This isn¡¯t worth it, you¡¯re going to lose everything!¡±


    Andrew shook his head. ¡°I have nothing left to lose and everything to gain. I¡¯m going to make sure the world smiles, I have to!¡±


    Michael sobbed, ¡°You¡¯re going to give everything, even your goddamn mind! You¡¯ll become a depressed and broken man¡­ Tell him! Their dream isn¡¯t worth your soul, nothing is!¡±


    A long moment passed as Michael gently leaned his head against Andrew''s chest, weeping in sorrow. Eventually he leaned back and looked back at Andrew''s face¡­ There was that confident face.


    Michael stared into his eyes, ¡°... I just want to see you smile¡­ One more time¡­¡±


    Andrew looked back into his eyes, ¡°I¡¯ll be fine, I have hope¡­ Do me a favour, would you?... Smile for me.¡±


    -


    Michael woke up to find tears flooding down his face. He hugged himself as he sat in bed, shaking his head as waves of love, adoration, sympathy and anguish smashed into him, paralysing him.


    He knew it was only a dream, and yet it felt so real¡­ As if that conversation really happened. He sobbed as he sat there, feeling broken in a million pieces.


    ¡°I just want to see you smile¡­ One more time.¡± He whispered.


    *****


    I took off my headphones as I stepped into the apartment. It felt good to hear sounds again. I had much to think about, so I went to sit down in the living room. Michael closed the front door behind me.


    ¡°It¡¯s time we talked, Andrew.¡± He also walked into the living room, but he chose to stay standing.


    ¡°Today¡¯s been a lot Michael, I still have to process everything that happened.¡±


    ¡°So do I¡­¡± His face was conflicted.


    I slowly sat down, for my pain was slowly building. I made myself comfortable as I gave him my full attention. He looked at me in deep thought for a few moments before he reached up and took off his blue agent monitor. He placed it on the table and began speaking.


    ¡°This is personal Andrew, so I need you to know that I¡¯m not talking to you as an agent now, do you understand?¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Yes¡­ I understand¡±, I responded slowly. I had a dreadful feeling about it, as if he was going to thrash me.


    ¡°Andrew, you¡¯re wrong about how I think of you.¡±


    I looked away in irritation, ¡°I find that hard to believe, I¡¯m only reacting to the facts that I have seen, Michael.¡± AI had said something similar before, but I didn¡¯t believe in intentions, only actions.


    He looked hurt, ¡°I would tell you why I never visited you, but it wouldn¡¯t mean anything to you right now, Andrew. You need to know what happened the night I first met you¡±.


    ¡°Yeah, I already know this all started that night¡­¡±


    ¡°But you don¡¯t know why. I get why you would assume I felt disgust and anger¡­ But I didn¡¯t, that¡¯s where your logic failed.¡± He looked at me with concern.


    I felt pretty confused, if not those that, then what else could he have felt? I stared daggers at him, waiting for him to get his thoughts together.


    ¡°AI, can you please play the recording of that night in the hospital, but after the nurses had sedated Andrew.¡± AI appeared on the tv, her face was sad.


    ¡°Michael¡­ Are you sure you want Andrew to see this?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡± His answer was instant and certain.


    ¡°Very well¡­¡± She seemed hesitant.


    The large living room TV began playing the video. I saw myself lying on the hospital bed and I instantly looked away. I didn¡¯t want to see myself! Especially not like that, I swore I would never see myself like that again. The video paused immediately.


    AI¡¯s voice was concerned, ¡°Andrew, is something wrong?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ Extremely hard to look at myself in that state. I don¡¯t even want to look at myself as I currently am, this is¡­ Very difficult.¡± I struggled to find the right words.


    This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.


    Michael agreed with me, ¡°Exactly! That¡¯s what I saw Andrew, it¡¯s what we all saw. You didn¡¯t actually realise how bad you really were!¡±


    I nodded. It''s true, of course, I didn''t see myself. I could barely see because of the inflammation on my face. I suppose seeing me at that point was, in and of itself, a difficult thing to do.


    ¡°Ok¡­ Ok¡­ Play the video¡± I reluctantly said and the video then resumed.


    I was in the bed looking horrific and a short distance from me the three of them stood. Michael, Oliver and James. They stood still, like statues. Nobody said anything for at least a minute. I almost thought the video wasn¡¯t playing, that¡¯s how still they were.


    Then they finally started to move slightly. Oliver slowly walked over to me on the bed and he leaned on the bed frame. He simply looked at me, shaking his head. James stayed still as he looked at me too as he shook his head as well.


    Michael however, put his hands on his head in distress. He spun around, looking around for something, maybe something to give him comfort. He quickly paced back and forth, glancing at me in the bed, then looking away. He finally stopped pacing and you could see he was crying.


    Michael? Crying? I had never seen him cry before... He leaned back against the wall, before he slowly slid down, sobbing. Oliver and James looked at him, realising he wasn¡¯t taking it very well at all. Oliver walked over to him and crouched as he put his hand on his shoulder to comfort him.


    Oliver''s voice was quiet and gentle, ¡°Michael, it¡¯s alright to feel this way, we all feel like this now¡­¡±


    Michael sobbed, ¡°Why didn¡¯t he tell him?...¡±


    ¡°He did it for Aisling and Nadia, Michael. He made an impossible choice...¡±


    Michael shouted, ¡°How though!? How could anyone go through that? It¡¯s not possible! There¡¯s no way anyone could endure that!¡±


    Oliver said nothing for a few moments before he turned and looked at me on the bed.


    ¡°Yet he did¡­¡± He whispered.


    ¡°Why didn¡¯t he tell him?!¡±, Michael shouted again. He was having an emotional reaction.


    Michael got up, ¡°I need to get out of here¡­¡± He instantly left the room as Oliver stood there staring at the door.


    James was still looking at me in the bed and after a moment he finally spoke.


    ¡°AI, I can¡¯t do this. This is too much for me. If I need to keep this promise, then I need to get away and try to make peace with this all.¡± He said as he removed the wire from his ear and the battery from his belt.


    AI spoke from the tablet, ¡°Very well James. When you are ready, you will always be welcome with the Roses.¡±


    The video ended and I sat there deep in thought. So that¡¯s why James was no longer here. More importantly, Michael wasn¡¯t angry at all. I was wrong, he was¡­ In shock.


    ¡°I see now, I was wrong. I thought you were angry and that¡¯s why you never visited me¡­ I see now, you weren¡¯t angry¡­ So why didn¡¯t you visit me then?¡± I looked him in the eye.


    ¡°At first I needed time to process it all, so I took the next week off. I couldn¡¯t stop thinking about your story and my mind needed proof that it was real¡­¡± He crossed his arms.


    ¡°So I went to the Bruiges hideout and I copied all the recorded footage from the camera and the laptop connected to it.¡±


    ¡°I went home and I started watching it. I was looking for proof that you were lying, that you were just trying to impress us or that you had lost your mind and were confused¡­¡± He stared at me.


    ¡°Unfortunately, it was all recorded. Every single hour of those three and a half weeks. So I watched it¡­ all of it.¡±


    I sat there staring at him in shock. Why? Why would he doubt me, didn¡¯t he see the state I was in? Didn¡¯t he hear the genuineness in my voice? Couldn¡¯t he realise my fear and terror?


    He read my face and instantly knew what I was thinking.


    ¡°Yes, i¡¯m a fucking thick idiot sometimes, Andrew. I should have believed you, but I didn¡¯t because¡­ Because of my pride.¡± He shook his head.


    I shouted at him, ¡°What does your pride have to do with my torture?!¡±


    He looked vulnerable, ¡°Because¡­ That meant you were better than me¡­¡±


    I caught my breath as I calmed down. I knew he was a smart and honest man. I couldn¡¯t force this out of him, I needed to try to understand his perspective. There was always a reason for everything.


    I breathed out, ¡°Ok Michael¡­ Why did my torture make me better than you?¡±


    He stared at the floor in intense thought, ¡°Andrew, I was a soldier for 8 years. One thing I learned is that the difference between the heroes and the nobodies¡­ Is that the heroes always come back in either a wheelchair or a coffin.¡±


    ¡°I don''t¡­¡± I muttered, trying to work out where he was going with this.


    ¡°Because¡­ The reason we always honour the dead or the disabled, is because they usually had the courage to go above and beyond. That¡¯s why they died, because they didn¡¯t play it safe, they took the risk, the ultimate risk¡­¡±


    I said nothing as I tried to read between the lines. Was I a returned hero in a wheelchair to him? Should I have died? I shook my head as I struggled to hone in on what he was trying to convey.


    ¡°We honour them, because they remind us that we are all cowards at the end of the day.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°You are not a coward though? Surely your survival in the military with exemplary medals means you were brave and strong?¡±


    ¡°No Andrew, it only meant I played it safe. It meant I didn¡¯t take the risks and that I never once showed courage.¡±


    Ok, that was an interesting way to interpret surviving six tours. I didn¡¯t think many might agree with that view, but¡­ Who was I to judge? I wasn¡¯t a soldier. I simply looked at him and waited for him to get to the point.


    ¡°We honour the dead or wounded, because they did what we knew we could not. We respect them, because they displayed individual will and strength, even if it meant they died because of it.¡±


    Oh¡­ Was he trying to say what I thought he was?¡­


    ¡°You did that, Andrew. I watched the torture¡­ And I knew¡­ I couldn¡¯t do that. I simply wouldn¡¯t have managed to stay quiet.¡±


    I stared at the floor, ¡°I came back in a stretcher¡­ Then a hospital bed and then eventually a wheelchair. I guess I qualify as a real hero by military standards then.¡±


    He responded definitively, ¡°You are a real hero, by all standards!¡±


    I looked at him as a million thoughts went through my head. I wasn¡¯t a veteran, nor did I lift a finger to fight. It didn¡¯t feel like a risk, I literally sat there as a desperate man with nothing to lose did everything he could to hurt me.


    He smiled honestly, ¡°You are better than me, where it matters the most, Andrew. You will heal, both physically and psychologically. You will build muscle. You will start to smile and help people.¡±


    I attacked, ¡°Do you really believe that? You haven¡¯t been here to see how bad I really am now, Michael!¡±


    He recoiled, ¡°I know! I¡¯m sorry!... I knew¡­ That if I were to see you in person, I wouldn¡¯t be able to hold back my respect for you, my admiration, sympathy and fear. If I saw you, it would be impossible to keep the promise I made you. I had to choose the promise Andrew, I had to ensure the Roses got stronger!¡±


    I pointed at him, ¡°Finally, the truth! Why didn¡¯t you start with that!¡±


    He crouched down to my eye level, ¡°Because I am so ashamed! You treat me as your hero, yet you think I hate you! It¡¯s so damn wrong!¡±


    ¡°How is that wrong? I know-¡±


    ¡°Because you¡¯re MY hero damnit!¡± He shouted.


    I was stunned when I heard that. I stopped talking as I stared at him, reading his face... Surely he didn¡¯t mean that?


    ¡°You will heal and mend. You will smile and thrive... When you do Andrew, I know with complete certainty that you will be more than me. You will be more because your will¡­ your strength is infinitely more than mine will ever be. I have reached my peak. They call me ¡®Mr. Perfect¡¯. I¡¯ve never failed a thing in my life. Top grades in school, best performing in military training and best agent of the Roses¡­¡±


    He caught his breath to finish his long point.


    ¡°But when I saw you in that hospital bed, I knew I finally met someone more. Better, stronger and wiser. My pride was shattered into a million pieces. I watched those videos, as you demonstrated true strength. You took the real risk, and one day, you will be the true legend. Not me¡­¡±


    He stared straight into my eyes, ¡°Consistently you impress Andrew. I watched you in a hospital bed, you had just escaped hell and weren¡¯t even certain you were actually out of hell¡­ And yet you still protected the people you cared about!¡± He started crying.


    ¡°I watched your therapy talks with Oliver. I watched you battle addiction and loneliness, all while fighting an impossible pain!¡±


    ¡°I watched every minute of you trying to stand from that wheelchair. I watched you trying to climb back up, screaming in agony.¡±


    ¡°I watched you walk into our hall, limping and whimpering in agony. A hall full of people who revered you¡­ And you kneeled to us!¡±


    ¡°You are unfathomably strong. By doing nothing, you saved everyone! With barely anything left, you still gave everything you had!¡±


    I looked away and out the window as Michael continued.


    ¡°You¡¯re my hero, Andrew. I wake up in the morning, and it¡¯s your picture on my wall. When things are tough, I think of how much you had to endure. Just the thought of you makes me want to do better.¡±


    I breathed out, ¡°Funny¡­ You¡¯re my hero. You were my inspiration for standing and walking again.¡±


    ¡°I know and I¡¯m honoured to have been a part of your success. I also hope I will be a part of more of it.¡±


    I looked at him for a long while as different emotions went through me. So this was the true Michael. He was not at all the monster I thought he was. Then I noticed it... I almost couldn¡¯t believe I hadn''t seen it before!


    I quietly said to him, ¡°Michael¡­ You¡¯re depressed?¡±


    He wiped away his tears, ¡°Yeah¡­¡±


    ¡°... Why?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve been sitting next to you in that horrible place, ever since I met you in that hospital bed.¡±


    I felt a wave of frustration mixed with despair, ¡°Oh my God! All I do is depress people!¡±


    ¡°No¡­ I swore I would leave this cold place, only with you at my side¡­¡±


    That had hit me right in my heart, as I started crying uncontrollably. Maybe I always knew he was there with me¡­ Maybe that¡¯s why the depression never overcame me. I closed my eyes as I pictured the cold, abandoned and rusty building I had been in for ages... There he was, sitting right next to me.


    I shouted in panic, ¡°You need to leave here! I might never get out Michael!¡±


    He walked to my side and kneeled down as he rested his hand on my lap.


    ¡°Then I might not ever get out either¡­ I could hardly ask for better company.¡±

 Chapter 8

    chapter 8


    I was still crying, ¡°I was so wrong about you, Michael¡­ Please forgive me.¡±


    He shook his head in regret, ¡°It¡¯s hard to get the true answers, when nobody is there to give them¡­¡±


    I jolted from that remark, as he hit the nail on the head without knowing it, ¡°You have no idea how true that really is¡­¡±


    ¡°You still had Oliver and AI, their friendship and loyalty is true.¡±


    I stopped thinking about my past life as I realised he was talking about the last year, ¡°Oh Oliver and AI? Yeah¡­ Priceless friends.¡±


    Both of us had nothing left to say as everything was all said and done. My confusion was over. The truth was revealed. I leaned back on the sofa as AI appeared on the screen.


    She smiled at me, ¡°Andrew, I told you Michael was a friend.¡±


    ¡°Yes, once more you are correct. What else do you know but don¡¯t tell me, AI?¡±


    ¡°I am quickly learning that information is more potent when given at the correct time.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°True.¡± What else could I say, knowledge is power after all.


    I spent a few moments thinking... What does AI know?


    ¡°AI¡­ What do you know about me?¡±


    ¡°I have memorised every conversation, every action and every detail I have on you since the operation.¡±


    What about¡­ Before I met the angels?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t have a lot of information about you Andrew. Just a social media page full of old addresses and a few friends.¡±


    ¡°Is that really all you have, or are you holding out on me?¡±


    ¡°No Andrew, that is all I know. Why?¡±


    I thought intensely, ¡°... I don¡¯t want you to look up anything on me before the angels please, AI.¡±


    Her face was deeply concerned, ¡°Andrew, that is concerning. Were you involved in criminal activities?¡±


    ¡°No, Just please don¡¯t look into it¡­¡±


    ¡°Very well, I will leave that area in the dark, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, that means a lot to me.¡±


    Michael looked at me with fascination. We met eyes, as I tried my hardest to give him a look. A look that said, ¡®I want to leave the past behind me¡¯. He instantly recognised that as he nodded and went back to looking out the window.


    Before anyone had time to think of my strange request, the front door opened. I looked at the time above AI, 4:21 PM. Of course, Oliver was back! He will no doubt have many questions about today. It was time for my therapy I supposed.


    I slowly stood up as I waited for Oliver to enter the living room. Instead, four people entered. Oliver entered first, then Ashley and behind her was¡­ Aisling and Nadia¡­ This was an unexpected honour. I stood there, dazed to see the two of them. I looked behind them before Ashley closed the front door and I could see at least 4 agents standing in the passageway, with assault rifles in hand. The security of the Angels was critical for AI.  I looked back at the angels as Aisling waved with a smile.


    ¡°Hi, would you mind if we visited for a spell?¡±


    I was confused, ¡°This is your building¡­ You can do as you please.¡±


    Ashley piped up, ¡°Grrr, you keep saying that like it matters!¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s true though¡­ This is not my place, I¡¯m just permitted to stay here.¡±


    Nadia took a step forward, ¡°All you need to do is ask, and we will sign this apartment over to you in an instant.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t afford to buy it from you¡­¡±


    ¡°No Andrew, it will be a gift, for free.¡±


    I stared her in the eyes and stated angrily, ¡°Nothing in life is free!¡±


    Everyone recoiled in surprise. I hadn¡¯t even realised that I had become that angry.


    I slightly bowed, ¡°Sorry, I apologise¡­ I didn¡¯t realise I was this irate¡­ Sorry.¡± I put my hands in the air in surrender.


    Ashley looked at Michael and he nodded as he grabbed the pills from his back pocket. He held out two tablets for me to take and I took them without a single second of objection. I couldn¡¯t afford to burn bridges with the Roses leadership.


    Aisling and Nadia remained where they were as they simply looked at me, as if waiting for something. Oh!


    ¡°Of course you can stay. I am always grateful for everyone¡¯s company. Please take a seat.¡±


    They smiled and sat down and so did I. Ashley and Michael stayed standing in the corner, seemingly exchanging intel. Oliver sat down next to me, and I was so happy to see him. I wanted to get straight into talking about today, when I realised that Aisling and Nadia had their red eye monitors on.


    ¡°I um¡­ I don¡¯t know what the procedure is. I have never had Rose leadership- Oh wait, AI¡­¡±, I realised AI was also Rose leadership.


    Nadia chuckled, ¡°Andrew, we come here in an informal manner. It¡¯s just a visit, we all can speak plainly here.¡±


    I just blurted out the first thought I had to test Nadia¡¯s claim, ¡°You two look very¡­ Intimidating with the red monitors on your eyes.¡±


    Nadia chuckled as they both took their little screens off and put them on the table. They really did look so much better without them.


    ¡°Sorry AI, I think you just lost two sets of eyes¡± I meekly said.


    AI instantly responded, ¡°I don¡¯t need to see you to enjoy your company.¡±


    Aisling perked up in surprise, ¡°AI¡­ I¡¯ve never heard you speak like that before?¡±


    AI looked down in a frown as she said nothing.


    I leaned back on the sofa, once again surprised at how few people AI spoke with. I don¡¯t even need to make my case anymore, surely AI was realising from people''s reactions, that she needed to try harder.


    Oliver chuckled as he leaned forward, ¡°Ok, enough bullying AI. I personally have far more interesting things to talk about right now.¡± He looked at me with an emotionless face.


    I looked at the angels feeling hesitant, ¡°Right, therapy time¡­ In front of the angels¡­ This will be interesting.¡±


    ¡°We can talk in your room in private if you want?¡± He politely offered.


    ¡°No¡­ No more hiding.¡±


    Oliver looked at me, deep in thought, ¡°Andrew, let¡¯s start with¡­ You deserving your torture.¡±


    He said it so casually, it had actually even surprised me. Aisling and Nadia were shocked with how directly Oliver spoke to me. They had no idea how much I had laid bare my soul to Oliver.


    ¡°What more is there to say? I wanted to humiliate good people and I felt unbearable shame when I realised they were genuinely honest people¡­¡±


    He quickly responded, ¡°So you felt you deserved three weeks of inhumane torture?¡±


    Ashley turned quickly to Oliver, ¡°Jeeezus Oliver! Tone it down would you?!¡±


    Oliver stared at her emotionlessly, ¡°If you don¡¯t like our therapy style, get out.¡±


    Michael chuckled, ¡°Oh Ashley, if you could hear some of their first talks¡­ It would make you want to kill yourself.¡±


    Aisling was mortified, ¡°Andrew, are you really ok with this?¡±


    I looked at Aisling for a moment, ¡°When talking about uncomfortable topics, it¡¯s easier to accept an uncomfortable atmosphere.¡±


    Oliver looked back at me as he let out an impatient breath. I put my hand on his lap to show him I was still paying full attention.


    I posed him a question, ¡°Oliver¡­ What is enough punishment for evil intentions?¡±


    ¡°Not three weeks of horrifying torture¡­¡±


    ¡°Depends on the person and the context, doesn''t it? Wanting to slap a politician is hardly a crime, but wanting to slap a baby is despicable.¡±


    ¡°Yes true, I see where you are going with this. Still, I think there¡¯s a strong argument that your self punishment was excessive.¡±


    I closed my eyes as I thought to myself. I would have mentioned that it wasn¡¯t the only reason, as I had alluded to the fact that I had nothing to lose. I supposed nobody really picked up on that, thankfully.


    Michael then spoke, ¡°You said you had nothing left to lose, Andrew. I won¡¯t push it, but this is clearly related to what you mentioned earlier.¡±


    I spoke frustratingly, ¡°Yes Michael, here I was hoping nobody picked up on that¡­¡±


    Oliver lightly slapped my knee, ¡°Are you keeping secrets? Holding back important information?¡±


    I opened my eyes and looked straight into Olivers.


    ¡°Leave my past alone.¡± I couldn¡¯t possibly have made it any clearer than that.


    Oliver looked away as he realised he had just reached a no crossing zone. He breathed out impatiently, and I saw him let it go in his mind.


    ¡°Ok Andrew, next question. Do you think your sacrifice was still for the right reasons?¡±


    ¡°Absolutely. Even though I felt I deserved the pain, I still mainly did it to protect the angels- These lovely people.¡± I gestured towards the two angels I had nearly forgotten were sitting right there.


    Aisling and Nadia both stared at me with sad faces as Michael stepped forward with deep interest.


    ¡°Since we are being honest with each other, how about we take the rare opportunity to hear the uncandid opinions of the angels?¡±


    Nadia looked uncomfortable, ¡°What do you want to know?¡±


    He crouched to her eye level, ¡°How do you feel about what Andrew did?¡±


    She looked down at the table for a few moments, ¡°It¡¯s terrible what happened to you, Andrew.¡±


    Michael pushed, ¡°I asked how you feel.¡±


    Nadia looked at me and then to Michael, ¡°What Ronald did was horrific¡­¡±


    Michael was about to push again when I got tired of the exchange.


    I put my foot down, ¡°Michael, please stop.¡±


    He stared at me frustratingly, ¡°Come on, she¡¯s not answering the question!¡±


    ¡°You should be asking yourself why she isn¡¯t, Michael¡­¡±


    He looked at Nadia for a few moments, realising her extreme discomfort, ¡°Oh¡­¡±


    I took a moment to think about how to calm this situation.


    ¡°Michael, there are major differences between Nadia and Aisling. Aisling is the dreamer, the inspiration. She wears her emotions on her sleeve, and uses it to convey conviction, faith and hope.¡±


    ¡°Nadia is a visionary. She sees the way to turn the dream into reality. She needs to find solutions, create strong arguments and have unwavering determination towards accomplishing the dream.¡±


    Michael looked at me slightly confused, ¡°Yes, I know this, what¡¯s your point?¡±


    I looked at him, ¡°She can¡¯t afford to let her emotions compromise her vision. She needs to be resolute, the very image of control.¡±


    ¡°So she can¡¯t have feelings?¡±


    ¡°No, she simply can¡¯t react to them. She bottles her emotions, puts each one on a shelf, labelled. She can look at them, feel them, but not react to them.¡±


    ¡°Oh come on Andrew, that¡¯s not true-¡±


    Michael stopped as it was apparent that I hit the nail on the head, because Nadia was crying intensely. Aisling instantly wrapped her arm around Nadia to comfort her. After a long moment, Nadia finally managed to speak.


    ¡°You know me far too well Andrew, it¡¯s uncanny¡­¡±


    I stared at the table for a while, ¡°In my life, I¡¯ve had to be a good judge of character¡­¡±


    AI spoke up, ¡°Andrews character reading skills are truly impressive. It¡¯s how he made the agent summaries and cards.¡±


    Aisling looked at Michael, then to me as her face lit up brilliantly.


    ¡°You two finally spoke, didn¡¯t you?¡±


    Michael smiled, ¡°Yeah, I think we¡¯re good now.¡±


    I looked at Michael, ¡°Yeah, we are.¡±


    He looked at me, before he suddenly realised something, ¡°Oi, my card! I want to see it!¡±


    I reached into my hoodie¡¯s internal pocket, pulled it out and I offered it to him. For a moment he just looked at it in my hand, as if it was the most precious gift ever. He took the card from me and looked at it.


    ¡°Yeah, military experience bla bla, crucial to the Roses bla bla..¡± He read through the card.


    ¡°What¡¯s this? Small writing at the end¡­¡±


    He read it out slowly, ¡°My hero, you inspired me to stand again. You inspire me to be stronger. May you forever stand as a giant hope for all, as I humbly rest in your shadow.¡±


    By the time he finished reading it, he was smiling. He looked truly honoured.


    ¡°I don¡¯t deserve this Andrew¡­¡±


    ¡°You really are my hero, Michael. You may not see yourself that way, but to me, you¡¯re Hercules.¡±


    Aisling looked at Michael with a smile, ¡°You¡¯ve been priceless to us Michael, it cannot be understated.¡±


    Nadia looked at me, ¡°You both have been foundationally critical to our success, without you two, we would surely have failed.¡±


    I stared into the distance, ¡°And so the dominoes fall, into a perfect picture of the Roses.¡±


    *


    I wondered about Aisling and Nadia. This was my first opportunity to truly speak with them, face to face. Many questions swirled in my mind when Nadia broke my distraction.


    She frowned, ¡°You¡¯re not what I expected, Andrew¡±


    ¡°What exactly did you expect?¡±


    ¡­ I expected that you would hate us¡­¡±


    ¡°Why would I hate you?¡±


    ¡°Because¡­ We¡¯ve been so successful¡­¡±


    ¡°Not without difficulty, or so you¡¯ve told me. That¡¯s good though, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    She suddenly looked very sad, ¡°But you, however¡­¡±


    I should have seen that was what she was implying. What did people want me to do? Scream at everyone for the things I had lost?


    ¡°If I were to release my anger and regret on you or anyone else here, I would burn the only bridges I have left. Nadia, this is all I have now, the people in this room¡­¡±


    Oliver nudged me, ¡°I already promised you, that I will never abandon you, even if I have to leave the Roses.¡±


    Michael seemed frustrated, ¡°Why the hell are you so damn afraid of people leaving you?¡±


    I looked away immediately, feeling vulnerable. I really didn¡¯t want to answer that question. Michael had this tendency to read between the lines, far too well. Several moments passed and everyone realised I wasn¡¯t going to answer. Aisling was looking at the table when she broke the silence.


    ¡°Andrew, tomorrow we will be discussing you in particular. For that reason, I would appreciate it, if you didn¡¯t try to watch the meeting, or ask anybody about what we are talking about.¡±


    ¡°Am I still allowed to go to the headquarters?¡±


    She smiled, ¡°Of course, you promised me, right?¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Yeah, I know.¡±


    Aisling and Nadia stood up, for it was getting late and they still needed to return to HQ. They both hugged me before they opened the door and walked out the apartment where the waiting agents were standing with their assault rifles. I noticed they all had black roses on their chests. I noticed Ashley and Michael leaving as well, but they seemed very¡­ I couldn¡¯t put my finger on what was strange about them.


    The door shut and it was just Oliver and I standing in the passageway.


    ¡°What do black roses mean?¡±


    He scratched his head, ¡°They''re a¡­kind of unique collective of agents¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh, what¡¯s so unique about them?¡±


    ¡°They were the orphans and homeless that Aisling and Nadia first helped.¡±


    ¡°I see, so why do they have black roses though?¡±


    He shrugged, ¡°... I think it¡¯s better you learn that from one of them yourself, mate.¡±


    It was odd. I had made cards for nearly all the agents at that stage¡­ Why hadn¡¯t I known about this? Had I just never noticed the black roses?... No I would have. Definitely. I think I had simply not seen these people.


    ¡°Well, that¡¯s the first time I¡¯ve ever seen one of them. I hope I get to see one again, so I can ask their story.¡±


    ¡°That would normally be much easier said than done, but they now know of you, Andrew, they might be more¡­ Facilitating.¡±


    Very mysterious. I found myself very curious about them. The next day I would keep my eyes peeled for any black roses. For now though, time to sleep, or rather try to sleep.


    *


    The nightmare began to play out, the angels letting me rest in their lap¡­ Then it stopped and nothing happened as I simply lay there looking up at the two of them smiling.


    ¡°Andrew.¡±


    I opened my eyes... It felt as though I had a better night''s sleep again. I moved my arms and legs¡­ The pain was much less. Yes, I definitely had a better sleep again.


    Mumbling in grogginess, ¡°How long did I manage to sleep AI?¡±


    She instantly answered, ¡°Seven hours and twelve minutes.¡±


    I rubbed my eyes and slowly sat up. It barely hurt as I found myself sitting up as if I had never even tried. Words couldn¡¯t describe how incredible it was, to manage to sleep well, after nearly a year of nightmares.


    I look over to AI¡¯s tablet, ¡°Let¡¯s not ruin this good day with carelessness shall we?¡± I slowly climbed out of bed.


    AI was smiling, ¡°Indeed, I will endeavour to predict any complications today.¡±


    ¡°Thanks, AI.¡±


    I showered quickly, got dressed and went to the lounge. I was very pleased to see Ashley there, however she was with Michael. They were watching what seemed like a firearm presentation.


    ¡°The Roses aren¡¯t afraid of guns it seems.¡± I said as I walked through the living room doorway.


    Ashley coldly replied, ¡°Neither are criminals like the Bruiges¡­¡±


    I waited for the video to end, for it was an interesting topic, about misfiring and gun maintenance. The screen changed to AI afterwards, she was holding a pistol sideways up close to the screen.


    ¡°So therefore, after the tragic injury that happened last night, I will be watching every agent today as they clean and inspect their firearms, no exceptions.¡±


    Michael tapped his pistol on the right of his waist, ¡°You know I do it every morning without fail.¡±


    AI nodded, ¡°Yes, your military training has ingrained that habit, please continue in such fashion.¡±


    Ashley didn¡¯t have a gun on her today, ¡°Tonight I''ll show you as I clean my personal glock.¡±


    Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.


    AI smiled, ¡°Thank you Ashley, please remember that being a good shot means nothing if your gun jams.¡±


    ¡°Yeah yeah yeah¡­¡± Ashley waved dismissively in a bored manner.


    They both stood up looking at me¡­ Were they both escorting me?


    ¡°Is there a reason why the two best agents are here?¡±


    Michael walked to the front door, ¡°You¡¯re a popular guy, let¡¯s go.¡±


    Ashley got in front of me as she looked over my face, ¡°Hold on, let¡¯s take a look¡­ Yeah, your face is less pink again. This time¡­ We won¡¯t fuck it up, headphones are by the door.¡±


    I grabbed the headphones and put them on as I exited the apartment. The drive was uneventful, other than the torrential rain. Michael helped me out of the car and I tried to walk as quickly as I could to the entrance as the rain was soaking me.


    The foyer was mostly empty as expected, it was 10:32 AM, everyone was out doing their job for the day. I noticed all the large screens were off. That must have been AI preventing me from seeing the meeting about me.


    ¡°I hope I''m not in trouble¡­¡± I whispered just loud enough that AI heard me in my hearing aids.


    ¡°Of course not Andrew, don¡¯t worry about it.¡±


    Michael was behind me, ¡°Andrew, I must go to the meeting myself, so I will come eat with you at break, ok?¡±


    ¡°Alright¡­¡± I was still worried.


    AI spoke gently, ¡°Andrew, I promise you, this is not something bad we are meeting on. Please try to relax your mind.¡±


    I wondered what it was though. Was that about the apartment? Or was that about agents wasting their time with me? There was just too much to worry about. I scratched my head and walked to the cafe. I wasn¡¯t going to get any answers, so I might as well get some food.


    Heartly was yelling again at the back of the kitchen.


    ¡°Turnips again? You have got to be- Ok, fine, let me taste that¡­¡± A moment passed.


    ¡°That¡¯s EXACTLY as mediocre as I thought it would be! Why on God''s green earth are people turnip crazy?! And why the hell did all my screens turn off?¡±


    AI¡¯s voice bounced across the kitchen, ¡°Because Andrew is here.¡±


    ¡°Oh, I¡¯ll be there now Andrew mate!¡±


    I saw his massive body come walking in through one of the kitchen isles. He instantly pulled out my containers of soup. There were two containers again, I noticed. I guessed I was eating for two once more.


    ¡°Morning sir, thanks for the food, I will eat it at lunch if that¡¯s alright?¡±


    ¡°Ah, waiting to eat with mates eh?¡±


    ¡°... Yeah.¡±


    He smiled, ¡°I saw how much you enjoyed their company last time, can¡¯t say I¡¯m surprised you want to eat with company again.¡±


    I looked at the containers for a few moments, deep in thought.


    ¡°I¡¯m not used to eating with company¡­ I¡¯m not really used to company at all to be honest.¡± I was thinking about my whole life, not just the last few months.


    His face became concerned, ¡°Oh? You a loner son?¡±


    ¡°What? No¡­¡±


    ¡°Then why aren¡¯t you used to company?¡±


    I looked away, ¡°I didn¡¯t have much of it growing up unfortunately.¡±


    Heartly looked at me, deep in thought.


    ¡°Bad relationship with your family?¡±


    I should have expected he would listen so well, yet I didn¡¯t. I don¡¯t want to tell him about any of that.


    ¡°Can we not talk about this anymore? Sorry, but I didn¡¯t intend for us to go in that direction¡­¡±


    ¡°Of course, forget I asked then.¡± he winked at me.


    He was so welcoming, even though he was so brash. He spoke his mind, but always listened in return. I guessed he would make an excellent bartender.


    ¡°So, apparently the meeting will focus on me today. Not gonna lie, I''m worried.¡±


    He laughed, ¡°Haha, don¡¯t be, it¡¯s nothing bad at all, trust me!¡± He reached over and patted me on my shoulder¡­ That actually had calmed me a fair bit.


    ¡°In my life, what I didn¡¯t know was exactly what hurt me most though. I hate not knowing¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not shady, son, they just need to discuss you, without you. I can¡¯t tell you more, but I can tell you that it¡¯s just the nature of the topic.¡±


    AI spoke from the tablet, ¡°Heartly, i¡¯ve been struggling to explain this to Andrew, and you just explained it perfectly. Thank you.¡±


    ¡°Always a pleasure to assist you, love.¡± Heartly patted the little tablet.


    Heartly and I enjoyed further small talk before the mass of people entered the hall. I noticed every single person looked at me as they walked past, most walking a little slower as they did so. They were calculating something when they looked at me and I didn¡¯t like that at all.


    Oliver appeared, his smile cheered me instantly as he took a seat next to me. Right behind him was Michael and Ashley, but they remained standing. I was about to start talking to them when Aisling and Nadia approached me.


    Nadia waved, ¡°Hi Andrew. Would you be so kind as to come to the Inner Roses hall after lunch?¡±


    I was nervous, ¡°Certainly¡­¡±


    Aisling noticed my hesitation, ¡°Stop worrying, Andrew, this isn¡¯t something bad.¡±


    ¡°And so everyone keeps telling me.¡±


    ¡°Then listen to us.¡± She winked at me, she pulled it off because she was so photogenic.


    Nadia looked carefully at me for a moment, ¡°Andrew¡­ You look much healthier today.¡±


    ¡°Thanks, yeah, I managed another good night''s sleep¡­ Can you believe it?¡±


    ¡°I can actually. I think you¡¯re finding closure, slowly. The faster your mind heals, the faster your body heals.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°It would appear that¡¯s literally the case.¡±


    Heartly passed some trays over the counter for the angels. Turnip soup and toast¡­ Amazing. They grabbed their trays and waved as they went to their seats. I then concentrated on eating my soup. I had to get through two of them, so I had best get on with it. Oliver realised he had something important to say to me.


    ¡°Oh, right, Andrew I forgot! I have good news for you!¡± He said as his tray of turnip soup arrived.


    ¡°Good news? Please, I''m all ears.¡± I looked at him with intense interest.


    ¡°Haha, that¡¯s ironic mate. There¡¯s a promising ear repair gel being developed at a nearby university. It has demonstrated the ability to even repair tinnitus!¡±


    I thought for a moment, ¡°Oh, then there¡¯s hope I won¡¯t need hearing aids, right?¡±


    ¡°Exactly! Isn¡¯t that exciting?!¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ It seriously is¡­ But then I won¡¯t have AI with me all the time anymore though¡­¡± I looked at AI on the tablet, she looked concerned.


    Oliver stopped just before he took a bite into his toast as you could see he had never thought about that point. Oliver knew that I valued my closeness to AI.


    He looked sad, ¡°Well¡­ You can still wear the earphones though?¡±


    AI spoke from the tablet, ¡°Andrew, there are always many ways for me to talk to you. When the opportunity comes to repair your ears, promise me, you¡¯ll take it.¡±


    I looked at her, her face full of concern.


    ¡°I promise.¡± She changed to a smile.


    Out of curiosity, I looked down the counter to see what Ashley was eating. It was exactly the same as Michael, same size portion and everything. Steak, potatoes and salad.


    ¡°Now¡­ I can understand Michael needing that much mass¡­ But you Ashley?¡±


    Ashley finished chewing a massive mouthful of steak, ¡°I can¡¯t be arsed trying to explain my food to you Andrew, so bite me.¡±


    Michael laughed out loud and so did Ashley. I guess the two of them are on good terms again, excellent. Once more, I found Ashley¡¯s direct manner refreshing.


    I managed to finish both soups again, amazingly. I felt a little less full than yesterday, but still quite full. When I looked around, I could see everyone was looking at me with excitement.


    ¡°You all look like you¡¯re about to gift me a baby puppy.¡±


    Oliver laughed out loud, ¡°In a manner of speaking, yeah.¡±


    AI looked at me with concern, ¡°To be honest Andrew, I am worried.¡±


    Everyone stopped moving when they heard that. What could worry AI? I instantly looked at the tablet with concern.


    ¡°Why? What¡¯s wrong, AI?¡±


    ¡°Andrew, if I know you as well as I think I do¡­ I can¡¯t predict your coming behaviour.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t either, since I don¡¯t know¡­¡±


    ¡°Yes, but, may I ask you a favour please?¡±


    ¡°Always, AI.¡±


    ¡°Please, try to understand things from others'' perspectives in the meeting. Try to put yourself in our shoes.¡±


    ¡°Alright AI, for you, I will intentionally focus on doing that.¡±


    She smiled, ¡°You would make a fine agent, Andrew. You have that trust and willingness to get the job done.¡±


    I saw as Oliver tensed right up. He knew how much I had wished I could have been an agent and how angry I got that I may never have the chance. I put my hand on his shoulder, to relax him. Even though AI¡¯s words hurt me, today I felt¡­ More forgiving to myself, more understanding. Maybe that was thanks to the reduced pain.


    ¡°If I have to eat a massive plate of steak, I don¡¯t think I''ll ever be ready to be an agent.¡± Ashley flipped me the middle finger with a big smile on her face.


    Oliver looked at me with an ever so faintly sad look, ¡°We¡¯ll do everything we can, to get you back to full capacity, I promise¡­¡±


    ¡°Oliver, it¡¯s ok mate. Whether I will be more in the future or not¡­ I just don¡¯t want to be alone.¡±


    He put his hand on my shoulder, ¡°I¡¯ll never leave your side mate, never¡­¡±


    ¡°I know¡­ I know.¡±


    People started standing up to hand in their trays. At first it was a few, then it was everyone. Again, they all looked at me with great interest as they walked past. What on earth was about to happen? Aisling and Nadia walked past smiling at me. I supposed it was time to go see what this was all about.


    I got up and started to walk out, when Heartly spoke.


    ¡°Andrew, be graceful, son.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°I¡¯ll try my best, sir.¡±


    When I entered the foyer, numerous members were standing at the entrance to the Inner Roses Hall. They greeted me with big smiles as I walked past them and into the hall. I proceeded slowly to the centre of the hall.


    AI didn¡¯t say anything, yet everyone stood up for me as I walked in and they sat down after a moment. I reached the centre of the hall as Michael and Ashley walked past me to a seat amongst the other agents. Oliver then was the last to enter, he was tucking something into his inside blazer pocket. As he walked past me to get to his seat, I almost thought I saw a hint of sadness in his eyes.


    I quickly glanced over all the agents, for there had to be at least one single black rose there¡­ But there wasn¡¯t. What on earth was the black rose about?


    AI was smiling from her massive screen, ¡°Thank you for coming Andrew.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry if I''ve been a bother for some new reason.¡±


    ¡°Not at all Andrew, in fact the opposite.¡±


    Aisling stood up, ¡°Andrew, may I ask you a question?¡±


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    ¡°How much do you think we owe you?¡±


    ¡°Zero pounds and zero pence.¡±


    ¡°You think we shouldn¡¯t owe you anything at all?¡±


    ¡°Absolutely. If anything, I owe you all for taking care of me over the last year.¡±


    The hall filled with laughter. I didn¡¯t know what they were laughing about, since I wasn¡¯t joking at all. I looked at Aisling confused.


    ¡°Andrew, we are an honour bound organisation, we pay all our debts with interest, we never cheat and we never mislead.¡±


    I nodded in understanding. I knew they were honourable, it¡¯s obvious to anyone who paid any attention to the organisation. They felt like one of the few¡­ Good guys.


    ¡°We are also democratic by nature, therefore we vote on all major decisions.¡±


    I found myself a little impatient, ¡°Why are you telling me what I already know?¡±


    ¡°Because we voted on two things today, Andrew. We voted if we should pay you for your sacrifice and then we voted on how much.¡±


    I didn¡¯t say anything as I froze on the spot. I then completely understood why I wasn¡¯t kept in the loop. I don¡¯t get a say in other people''s generosity. I felt frustrated as I wished they would let this go!


    ¡°So, what did the votes tally up to?¡±


    Nadia stood up, ¡°The votes were 98% yes, on whether we should pay you.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°I really don¡¯t want a single pence of your money.¡±


    Michael stood up, ¡°And we really can¡¯t give you nothing in return for what you did.¡±


    I continued shaking my head, ¡°And what of the second vote?¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°There were multiple options presented, If you look at the screen you will see the choices.¡±


    I looked up, the board read:


    <ol>


    <li style="font-weight: 400">A fixed amount</li>


    <li style="font-weight: 400">Private shares</li>


    <li style="font-weight: 400">All profits AFTER his rescue</li>


    </ol>


    ¡°Right, the third is totally ridiculous, so which of the first two won?¡± I looked back at AI.


    She looked confused, ¡°Actually, option three won, 90%.¡±


    I stood completely still. What were they? Crazy?! Why on earth would they pick the most expensive option, willingly?... Oh, honour.


    AI continued, ¡°Our Financier will continue on our behalf, if you please Alex Crowley.¡±


    Alex stood up as he looked at his tablet.


    ¡°Riiiiight¡±, he said as he rubbed his chin.


    ¡°So, at the time we rescued you, the Roses balance was¡­ 2.53 million pounds, including property values.¡±


    He swiped the screen of his tablet, ¡°And looking at our current balance, we are at¡­ 89.77 billion pounds.¡±


    ¡°Therefore, as soon as you create a bank account, we will transfer you 89.7696 billion pounds.¡±


    I stared at him, Surely this was all a joke right?


    ¡°Right, enough joking, what¡¯s the real amount?¡± I found myself losing patience faster.


    Alex looked up at me confused, ¡°This is no joke whatsoever sir, we owe you 89.76 billion.¡±


    I shouted, ¡°There¡¯s no way you can just casually give a single person that much money!¡±


    ¡°We certainly can sir, we just need an account to send it to.¡±


    ¡°Wait hold on! Then what about the Roses? What money will you have?¡±


    He looked at his tablet, ¡°We will have 2.53 million.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re a global entity, you can¡¯t operate on 2.53 million, surely?!¡±


    He smiled, ¡°We will manage, sir.¡±


    ¡°All of this¡­ Because of your honour?!¡± I was furious.


    AI looked worried, ¡°Andrew¡­ You said you would try¡­¡±


    I yelled back at her, ¡°Yeah, but I didn¡¯t think that meant I was bankrupting this organisation!¡±


    AI held her hands up to try to calm me, ¡°We will manage, but our honour and integrity is more important than our profit margins.¡±


    ¡°NO! I didn¡¯t do all of this, just to bleed this good organisation dry! I refuse! No, I won¡¯t take it, what if-¡±, I was panicking and could barely breathe.


    Alex tried to console me, ¡°Think of it this way, now you can pay off the medical costs sir.¡±


    I turned to him quickly, ¡°What do you mean? What medical costs?¡±


    AI put her face in her hands, ¡°Alex, you shouldn¡¯t have said that¡­¡±


    Alex looked at AI, ¡°What, did you not tell him?¡±


    I looked back at AI, ¡°I thought¡­ The NHS¡­ I thought¡­¡±


    AI shook her head, ¡°Andrew¡­ The NHS was at capacity. We had to use private hospitals and surgeons to operate on you. The medication was also in short supply, so we had to privately purchase that too.¡±


    I looked down as panic fully took a hold of me. I had assumed the NHS was paying for it all¡­ If they weren¡¯t¡­ How much was it that I owed them?


    ¡°How much have I cost you?¡± My voice was laced in terror.


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter Andrew, it was not marked as an exp-¡±


    I shouted, ¡°HOW MUCH!?¡±


    AI paused for a moment.


    ¡°All expenses over the last year¡­ ¡ê133 million.¡±


    I was shocked and stunned. I knew private healthcare was expensive, but that much¡­


    I stared at the floor in horror, ¡°How¡­ I can¡¯t pay that AI¡­ I don¡¯t¡­ I don¡¯t have a job, I don¡¯t earn any money.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t owe us this. We paid it out of our own pocket Andrew, forget this, please.¡±


    ¡°No, I owe you¡­ I owe you a lot. More than I could ever afford¡­ Why didn¡¯t you just let me die?¡±


    ¡°Andrew stop, the cost was insignificant compared to the value of your life. Look at us, we still managed to thrive, even with your medical costs.¡±


    I screamed at her, ¡°And now you want to lose all that money by giving it to me!¡±


    I tried catching my breath, but my panic attack was growing by the minute.


    ¡°If I have to choose¡­ Between owing you 133 million¡­ or bankrupting the Roses¡­ I choose the debt...¡±


    AI looked worried, ¡°Oliver, Andrew¡¯s having a panic attack.¡±


    Oliver came running over, he wrapped his arms around me, telling me things like ¡°Breath¡± and ¡°Don¡¯t worry, calm down¡±, but it wasn¡¯t working¡­ In my mind was the image of hundreds if not thousands of Rose members not being paid because the Roses didn¡¯t have enough money.


    I fell to my knees, ¡°I have become the very thing that destroys the dream of the Roses Oliver, how did this happen?¡±


    ¡°No, no Andrew, everything is fine, we haven¡¯t sent the money, we still have it, please my friend, just breathe!¡±


    ¡°I refuse! I won¡¯t take it, not a single pence!¡± I looked around rapidly, trying to find something to help me out of the nightmarish situation.


    Oliver hugged me as I felt a stabbing feeling in my back. He injected me, probably a tranquilliser. I figured I had a few seconds before it kicked in.


    ¡°I¡¯ll find a way to pay for my healthcare, I¡¯ll find a w-¡±


    *


    There was no nightmare nor any emotions in my unconsciousness. There was only blackness, then I woke up and opened my eyes.


    I looked around and saw that I was still in the hall, however I was lying down. My head was propped up and I looked up to see Aisling smiling at me.


    ¡°I¡¯m happy that you never had any nightmares this time¡±, she said as she gently stroked my head.


    I remembered then what happened before I was knocked out. I remembered their outrageous proposition. I would have gotten annoyed again but whatever tranquiliser Oliver used on me, it still had an effect. I felt slightly weak and light headed as I looked around without moving my body as I saw multiple people standing around me. Ashley, Michael, Oliver, Nadia and Alex Crowley.


    I felt guilty, ¡°I¡¯m sorry for the way I reacted... It was too much for me to process, and in my state of surprise, I panicked about the consequences.¡±


    I sat up quickly, for Aisling¡¯s close proximity gave me the gift of painlessness and I looked down at the floor in shame. I wished I didn¡¯t react so emotionally like this¡­ I always made a big scene. Alex crouched down next to me.


    ¡°Sir, I absolutely must apologise to you. While you were unconscious, AI informed me that your medical costs were indeed written off. You do not owe us that money at all sir.¡±


    I said as politely as I could, ¡°You are only saying this after the fact to calm me down, Mr. Crowley. There is no way you, the financial head of the Roses, didn¡¯t know my medical costs were written off.¡±


    He shook his head, ¡°Not at all sir. In fact, there are many financial things I simply was not aware of due to secrecy. These facts were only made aware to me, after we were all made aware of you, sir. I honestly did not know it was written off, I only saw the total costs when I skimmed through the revealed finances, I never noticed it was listed in the assets section and not the liability section.¡± Alex¡¯s face was sincere as he patted my shoulder to try to convey his honesty.


    I looked at AI on her main screen, her face was concerned.


    I asked seriously, ¡°Is this God''s honest truth AI?¡±


    AI nodded slowly, ¡°Yes, Andrew, all costs in the past, present and future¡­ I chose for them to be our expense and not your debt. You don¡¯t owe us, nor can you pay us, since you simply don¡¯t owe us legally.¡±


    ¡°With 133 million AI, you could have done so much more. Is my life really worth that much?¡±


    As soon as I finished that sentence, I heard dozens of voices in response.


    ¡°Yes!¡±


    ¡°Absolutely!¡±


    ¡°Of course!¡±


    ¡°Without a doubt!¡±


    ¡°Obviously!¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be silly.¡±


    I looked around and saw the sincerity on everyone''s face, both around me and in the seats around the hall. The agents had that look in their eyes¡­ Certainty. Michael crouched down and looked me in the eyes as he spoke.


    ¡°133 million, to save our saviour¡­ I¡¯d call that a bargain.¡± Everyone around me nodded in agreement.


    ¡°I¡¯m not taking the money¡­¡± I said as I kept looking back into Michael''s eyes.


    ¡°This is our choice, Andrew, would you deny us our choice, our freedom to choose how we respond to kindness and our ability to measure your worth to us?¡±


    I looked back to the ground, ¡°How can you say I am worth 89 billion? Nobody is worth that much¡­¡±


    Aisling stood up as she looked at me with a puzzled look. Her face made me think I had said something silly.


    ¡°Stand up, Andrew, and walk with me please¡±, she said, offering her hand to help me up. I took it and stood up, my body felt no pain thanks to holding Aisling¡¯s hand.


    We walked out the hall, through the sliding doors and into the large foyer. The room was packed full of members and agents. It seemed AI wanted everyone to be in the HQ during this meeting. Aisling walked into the middle of the foyer as she waved and beamed her smile at everyone around her. Her affect was immediate, as every concerned face was instantly changed into a cheery smile. She stopped and turned to face me.


    ¡°Andrew, what do you see in this room?¡± She asked honestly.


    I looked around, as I saw a legion of Rose members, dotted with agents. I saw a lot of smiles but I also saw a lot of determination in the eyes of everyone I looked at.


    ¡°I see a bright future for this country and for the whole world.¡± I said with certainty.


    Aisling looked at me for a few moments, before she looked around herself. She spun around again and again, truly taking in every detail around her, every face in the crowd.


    ¡°Do you know what I see Andrew?¡± She asked as she looked back at me.


    ¡°I see three and a half weeks.¡± She said as she looked down sadly.


    I tilted my head slightly to the side to show my confusion as she kept looking at the floor.


    She spoke slowly and reverently, ¡°This building, these people, this dream of ours¡­ Three and a half weeks was its true cost.¡±


    I said nothing, I just waited for her to continue.


    ¡°In those three and a half weeks, Nadia and I were afforded the time to make connections with the people you see in this room. In that time, we got our first financial investments. In that time, we discovered our first agents. In that time, AI was afforded access to more compute power in servers.¡±


    Aisling started to cry as she looked at me, her face showed intense gratitude.


    ¡°The 88 billion, these people, the agents, the Inner Roses, this building, the overseas branches¡­ Nadia, AI and my own lives¡­¡± She looked around at everyone one more time.


    ¡°All of these things were afforded to us, because you gave us three and a half weeks.¡±


    Many people in the room nodded in agreement. You could see they all felt the same as her.


    ¡°Andrew, 88 billion is nothing compared to the fortune you gave us. We could never dream of repaying what you have truly given us, but 88 billion is a good first step though.¡±


    I realised what she was saying. I remembered that AI had asked me to try to understand the Roses perspective. Standing there and looking at it all, I could see what Aisling meant. The time I afforded them was priceless.


    I crossed my arms and shook my head. I realised then how important this was to them, but I literally couldn¡¯t take the money, even if I wanted to. I couldn¡¯t make a bank account.


    ¡°I realise now, just how important you weigh my contribution. However, I still can¡¯t take the money¡­¡±


    ¡°Why? Are you still worried about how we will manage? Don¡¯t worry Andrew, we can easily get more loans and pay them off fully in months!¡± She sounded desperate in her attempt to convince me.


    ¡°No¡­ I can¡¯t make a bank account, Aisling.¡±


    She looked confused, ¡°Why not?¡±


    ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter why, I simply can¡¯t. It¡¯s impossible, so let¡¯s try to find a way to work this out.¡±


    Aisling tilted her head in confusion. After a few moments, she realised after looking at my face, that I was not going to elaborate at all and she breathed out a sigh.


    ¡°I dunno, Andrew.¡± She finally admitted.


    AI appeared on the large screens above us.


    ¡°It is possible for the money to remain in our account, but belong to you, Andrew. This is called depositing.¡± I liked the sound of that.


    ¡°Yes! So what if you can still spend that money, almost as if¡­ I was investing the money in the Roses!¡±


    ¡°Yes, that would be possible. However, you will need to sign several papers for this to be legal and official.¡±


    ¡°But the money is still entirely mine, right?¡±


    ¡°Yes, it will be your money. However, you will be classified as an investor in the Roses and will have to approve any spending of your money.¡±


    I felt a wave of excitement, ¡°Perfect! That¡¯s absolutely perfect! Win win! You get to give me the money, and I get to see the financial security of the Roses!¡±


    Aisling looked at me, her face was angry, ¡°Andrew, are you trying to weasel out of taking the money? Because from my point of view, it seems like we are both not giving you the money and you are literally not taking it either!¡±


    AI responded, ¡°No, Aisling, this is a legal account. The money will belong to him, should he desire to take it all out of our account, he can do so instantly. In all ways that matter, it is his money.¡±


    That raised some questions in my mind.


    ¡°So how would I use my money, just out of interest?¡±


    AI responded immediately, ¡°You will be given a card, after the documents have been signed. Every purchase you make will instantly be approved.¡±


    ¡°That sounds good to me. What will I have to do to approve the usage of my money?¡±


    ¡°I can personally talk with you on a daily or weekly basis. I will list the amount spent and you will approve or deny it for me.¡±


    ¡°Ok, that sounds totally reasonable.¡±


    I looked at Aisling as I desperately hoped she would accept this. Everyone else was also now looking at Aisling, holding their breaths. If she refused it, it wouldn¡¯t work. She looked at me for a while, measuring my sincerity. Her arms were crossed before she finally rested her arms at her side and smiled.


    ¡°Very well then, Andrew, I trust that AI isn¡¯t misleading us. I trust that our vote and our wish is being fulfilled in honesty. Remember, this is all of the Rose honour on the line.¡± Her tone was deadly serious.


    I looked her in the eyes, ¡°After you made it so clear on why it matters¡­ I wouldn¡¯t dream of cheating you. I don¡¯t want to take the money, but I will because the Roses ask it.¡±


    A Rose member stood up next to me. She was short, wore glasses and had long black hair. She looked at me for a moment and then looked away shyly. She spoke very quietly, but I could hear her just fine.


    ¡°You gave us everything you had to give. We repay you, and you immediately find a way to use it for our own best interests... We don¡¯t deserve you Andrew.¡±


    I spoke with all the determination I could muster, ¡°I would gladly give my life, if it meant guaranteeing the success of this organisation.¡±


    She looked concerned, ¡°Why though, Andrew? Why is it so important to you, that you gave it all and yet still feel you need to give more?¡±


    I looked away, ¡°Because¡­ I am the very person this organisation was made to help. I am a young man desperate for purpose and hope.¡± There was more, but they didn¡¯t need to know.


    The shy girl paused as she scrutinised my face.


    ¡°No, that¡¯s not why, You¡¯re hiding something from us. I just hope it¡¯s not a dark secret Andrew¡­ Because I love to admire you.¡± She looked down at the floor humbly, waiting for my rebuttal.


    ¡°You¡¯re right, that¡¯s not why¡­ I don¡¯t want to talk about the real reason, at least not right now please.¡± I tried to sound sincere.


    She looked back up at me as she read my face, ¡°Phew, it¡¯s not something dark and terrible, I''m so glad¡­¡± She smiled and sat back down.


    I walked back to the hall with Aisling. Everyone in the hall already knew what was agreed upon, for AI was showing the foyer cameras for the Inner Roses. Alex shook my hand, mentioning that it was a genius solution to a challenging problem. Michael chastised me for not explaining why I couldn¡¯t make a bank account. Nadia was simply happy that a resolution was attained. Oliver said nothing, I knew it was because he felt terrible about sedating me¡­ I would talk with him about it that night.


    I signed the papers, and AI explained the legalese to me in a simple way. Once AI was satisfied that all the paperwork was correct, I left. I needed time to think, not just about today, but about what that shy girl spoke of. I needed to ask myself just how long my past should remain a secret.

 Chapter 9

    Chapter 9


    Michael drove me back home. Afterward, I sat in the living room, deep in thought. Michael sat next to me, trying to read my thoughts.


    "I know you well, Andrew. I sense that you''re worried about something you''re not telling us." Michael said.


    "Yes, you''re right." I admitted.


    "...Can I help you navigate your worries?" he offered.


    "Thank you, Michael, but... No." I replied.


    Michael seemed as though he was going to push further, but we both got distracted when the front door opened. It was Ashley. She entered the room with a light wave to us both as she took a seat opposite us.


    "Sup," she said, folding her arms.


    Michael chuckled and lightly elbowed me, ¡°Trying to get Andrew to talk about his past.¡±


    Ashley looked intrigued, ¡°Oh, what about his past?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s just it, we know nothing about it. He asked AI to not even look into it.¡±


    Ashley looked at me for several moments, trying to read my thoughts.


    ¡°When you¡¯re ready, Andrew, we¡¯ll be here to listen.¡± She finally said with respect.


    AI appeared on the TV, ¡°Yes. I don¡¯t know why you want to hide it, but I know you well enough to know you have your reasons.¡±


    I shook my head as I looked at the floor. I felt a lot of pressure coming from them all, on a topic I felt I had very clearly expressed a desire to not speak on.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know if I will ever want to talk about it. It¡¯s so¡­ It¡¯s a big deal for me and I am worried¡­ Nevermind.¡± I looked away in frustration.


    Michael realised from my tone, that my past was a seriously important issue to me. He stopped pushing then and there.


    The hours passed by without me talking, I was deep in thought. Ashley cleaned her pistol while Michael and AI watched. She did it rather quickly as well. It was an odd thing seeing a gun be broken apart so easily. It made me think about how complicated things are always susceptible to falling apart.


    Oliver finally got home, after what seemed an impossibly long afternoon. He took off his smart black Rose blazer and took a seat next to Ashley. He looked at me with a sorry face. I thought I would cut that off that time, as I knew what he was worried about.


    ¡°It¡¯s ok Oliver, you did what you had to when I was panicking. Before you even try¡­ You don¡¯t need to apologise nor feel bad. Thank you for helping at an emotional time.¡±


    Oliver was surprised by my direct address. He looked down for a moment before he spoke.


    ¡°How long before you tell them?¡± He asked emotionlessly.


    I leaned forward, ¡°Tell them what?¡±


    He looked me straight in the eye, ¡°I know your past, Andrew. It was hard for me to find it, but I had to know it, to take care of you the best I can.¡±


    I froze on the spot. I should have realised Oliver would have looked into my past. He never mentioned it, but then again, why would he? What was there to say?


    ¡°When the time is right.¡± I weaselled.


    ¡°Right. Well, it¡¯s becoming harder and harder for me to keep my mouth shut on this. I can only play ignorant for so long, especially when it comes to 88 billion pounds¡­¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t know that you knew, Oliver. I¡¯m sorry to be a burden to you¡­ That¡¯s all I am at the end of the day, a burden.¡± His impatient tone shattered my confidence in one swift strike. I looked at the floor as a wave of shame washed over me.


    Ashley and Michael jolted from me saying that.


    Ashley looked me in the eye, ¡°You¡¯re not a burden, Andrew! Why would you even think that?!¡± Her impatience was growing.


    Oliver coughed loudly, getting her attention, ¡°There are reasons Ashley. This time, he¡¯s not being defeatist¡­ Hopefully you will understand why sooner rather than later.¡±


    I finished that sentiment, ¡°Hopefully nobody will ever need to know...¡±


    Oliver looked at me with a combination of sadness and irritation as he shook his head in disapproval. Why should I have cared, what he felt? What on earth did he think he knew about that topic?


    ¡°Andrew, I know the truth of your past. It never once stopped me from respecting you. It never once made our friendship less meaningful. In fact, I think that¡¯s why our friendship is as strong as it is. The sooner they find out, the sooner you will escape your loneliness.¡±


    I shouted at him, ¡°Loneliness is all I¡¯ve ever known, Oliver!¡±


    Oliver slightly jolted from my attack before he regained his composure.


    He tried to defend his argument, ¡°Are AI and myself not at your side? What of Michael?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not the same and you know it! This is different, this is a lifetime of-¡± I stopped myself.


    Oliver looked down sadly, for he knew how significant it was. He couldn¡¯t argue that it wasn¡¯t a big deal. It was a big deal, maybe even a huge one. Every decision I had ever made was made as a consequence of my past.


    Michael was frustrated, ¡°What am I supposed to do in this situation? You¡¯ve stonewalled me out of something incredibly important to you, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°Just promise me¡­ You won¡¯t abandon me.¡± I said as a single tear fell from my face.


    ¡°Why would I abandon you?¡±


    I shouted at him, ¡°A question I''ve asked my entire life!¡± I couldn¡¯t stop the anger from coming out.


    Oliver put out his hand, ¡°Shush Andrew, be calm¡­ Don¡¯t make friends into enemies.¡±


    I looked away as more tears flowed. This is too much¡­ I couldn¡¯t keep talking about it.


    I shouted at the ceiling, ¡°No more on this, not one single word more!¡±


    Michael and Ashley were stunned. They had never seen me behave like that. I could see they were trying to make sense of it, but they simply didn¡¯t have enough to work with. They looked at each other with deep concern. A few moments passed before Oliver changed the topic.


    He smiled, ¡°Therapy time.¡±


    Ashley did a double take, ¡°What¡­ Now? After this?¡±


    I ignored Ashleys concern, ¡°Let¡¯s go mate, ask away.¡±


    Oliver rubbed his hands together, ¡°So you¡¯re a billionaire!¡±


    I sighed to show irritation, ¡°I suppose I am.¡±


    Oliver looked at me incredulously, ¡°And this is a bother¡­ Why?¡±


    ¡°Because I don¡¯t want money! I never wanted money, and now that I have it, nothing will change¡­ Nothing of any importance at least.¡±


    Ashley spoke, ¡°Really, nothing at all? Don¡¯t you want to buy something?¡±


    ¡°Like what Ashley? A yacht? A private jet?¡± My tone was sarcastic.


    ¡°No, but something you really care about, but you couldn¡¯t have before?¡±


    I thought deeply about it and a thought occurred to me.


    ¡°AI¡­¡±


    AI responded immediately, ¡°Yes Andrew?¡±


    ¡°Even though you classified my medical bi-¡±


    ¡°No, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°But I have the ch-¡±


    She put me down, ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Why not, you can¡¯t stop me from giving you that much.¡±


    ¡°Yes I can, we can simply refuse to take the money.¡±


    ¡°But why?¡±


    ¡°Because it was a gift to you and a form of repayment.¡±


    There was a pause as I sat there irritated, Ashley jumped in.


    ¡°Really Andrew? Why are you so against this kindness?¡±


    ¡°Because nothing in life is free, and gifts are a form of control.¡±


    ¡°Yes, if this were outside the Roses, I would completely agree¡­ But this is the Roses we are talking about here! Have you not noticed that we do things differently?¡±


    She had me there. Everything about the Roses was indeed different. Their integrity, honour, truthfulness and determination to do the right thing¡­ How could I have possibly questioned that, after their kindness had been given to me so many times before?


    ¡°You¡¯re right Ashley¡­ It¡¯s just hard to start to trust, after a lifetime of being betrayed¡­¡±


    She read my body language, ¡°You¡¯ve lived a brutal life, even before your sacrifice, haven¡¯t you?¡±


    Oliver instantly responded, ¡°Probably harder than anyone else in the whole Roses¡­¡±


    Michael and Ashley both shot a terrified look at Oliver.


    ¡°Even more than the Black Roses? I find that hard to believe¡­¡± She crossed her arms.


    Oliver said nothing as he simply stared at her with a cold face.


    She shouted, ¡°Fuck off! No chance is he harder than the Black Roses! Look at him, does he look streetwise?¡±


    I instantly cut that off, ¡°I couldn¡¯t give a damn what you think, my past is behind me and my hardships are hopefully over. I just want to use my money and remaining energy to try to help the Roses get people off the streets.¡±


    Ashley said nothing, I could see the disbelief on her face, it was completely understandable. The dream of the Roses was built by the hands of the weak and abandoned. Orphans, veteran soldiers, destitute and beaten people¡­ They are the ones the Roses lent their hand too.


    The Roses were composed of hundreds of people who had an unfathomably hopeless life. To say my life was harder, was like claiming to be a badass in a prison¡­ There¡¯s surely always someone tougher.


    Oliver took the silence as an opportunity to resume my therapy.


    ¡°Andrew, I hope today, Aisling managed to convey to you just how massive your sacrifice was?¡±


    I looked into the distance thoughtfully, ¡°Yes, she did. I¡¯ll be honest, I knew I saved their lives, but I never thought about it anymore than that¡­ I never thought about the waves it created.¡±


    Michael spoke humbly, ¡°We¡¯re not exaggerating when we tell you, none of this would have happened without you. You were the ultimate deciding factor, there is no argument about this.¡±


    ¡°And that is why I took the money, even though I really didn¡¯t want to. I won¡¯t spit in the face of what the Roses care about, no matter how much I may disagree with their solution.¡±


    Oliver nodded with a smile, ¡°Good. Try to remember their perspective. They¡­ We realise the immensity of your sacrifice and we want to do you right for that.¡±


    ¡°You already have, more than you could possibly know.¡±


    *


    Oliver rubbed his chin, ¡°Do you have anything else you want to talk about?¡±


    I leaned forward, ¡°Actually yes, who the hell are the Black Roses? You said I should ask them myself¡­ There wasn¡¯t a single Black Rose anywhere today!¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°Andrew, the Black Roses are our bodyguards. Think of them as our ¡®Royal Guard¡¯. Their sole purpose is to protect the angels and me. They do their job best, when you don¡¯t know they are even there.¡±


    ¡°Right¡­ So how am I supposed to learn who they are then?¡±


    AI¡¯s eyebrows furled, ¡°They are¡­ A subsection of their own in the Roses. They have their own priorities and they choose their own company. I can mention you to them and I''ll inform you if they want to talk.¡±


    I tilted my head to the side, ¡°Why would you, one of the founders of the Roses¡­ Need to ask permission from members?¡±


    She shook her head, ¡°Andrew, we are not an authority, we respect freedom of choice. Nobody orders anyone to do anything. We always ask, we never tell. However, the Black Roses have loyally served Aisling, Nadia and myself since they formed their group. They work better when we don¡¯t meddle with them.¡±


    ¡°Ok, now I am really interested in them.¡±


    ¡°I will keep you informed on their response.¡±


    I leaned back on the sofa.


    ¡°Hopefully today ends the rollercoaster of drama I seem to keep generating.¡±


    AI smiled at me, ¡°Personally, I have found it all fascinating. I am seeing your actions with my own eyes now¡­ And I am very impressed.¡±


    I folded my arms, ¡°Really? I feel like I keep causing issues for everyone.¡±


    She beamed a glorious smile, ¡°You never cause me issue, Andrew.¡±


    Ashley spoke up, ¡°I¡¯ll never get used to the way AI talks to Andrew¡­¡±


    I looked at her, ¡°Why not talk to her right now?¡±


    Ashley turned to face the TV, ¡°Sup?¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°Ashley, did I ever tell you¡­ You¡¯re my favourite agent?¡±


    Everyone did a double take after hearing that. Michael burst into laughter and Oliver chuckled too. Ashley was totally stunned as she said nothing for a good long moment.


    ¡°Thanks¡­ Why though?¡±


    ¡°Your energy, your smile¡­ The way you inspire all the women in this organisation. You wouldn¡¯t believe how hard some ladies work, just to try to emulate you.¡±


    ¡°... Wow¡± Ashley was blown away to hear this.


    Michael contributed, ¡°When you walk into the foyer, I see all the ladies look up. You are their inspiration.¡±


    She looked away, ¡°I¡­ Stop, i¡¯m going to cry if you keep going¡­¡±, She was trying not to tear up.


    AI gently spoke, ¡°I also want you to know, I chastised Michael for how he treated you after Andrews panic attack. In truth, I felt guilty that I also allowed it to happen. When Michael snapped at you, he snapped at me too. I just want you to know, you didn¡¯t fail us¡­ You didn¡¯t fail me.¡±


    Ashley broke down into tears. She kept wiping the tears away, but more kept coming. Oliver wrapped his arm around her to comfort her. This was a lesson for me¡­ No matter how strong someone may seem, deep down¡­ We all still crave acceptance and forgiveness. I realised Ashley felt guilty, yet I never realised that she still felt that way though.


    Ashley finally managed to speak, ¡°Thank you AI, that means the world to me to hear you say that¡­¡±


    Once she regained her composure, I yawned. It was time for bed. I bid farewell and excused myself to my bedroom. As I climbed into bed, I found myself feeling grateful for the others who chose to visit me and I hoped I would never lose their friendship.


    *


    I had another night of improved sleep. The memory/nightmare started with me lying next to the angels, but then I woke up¡­


    ¡°Morning AI.¡± I slowly sat up.


    ¡°Morning Andrew. I see you slept better again, that is a relief.¡± Her avatar showed a thumbs up on the tablet.


    I looked at the time above her, 7:12 AM. Well¡­ I still got exceptional sleep, so it was no bother that I woke up early. I got dressed and went to wish Oliver good morning. He was sitting in the living room, putting paperwork into his plastic folder.


    He turned to face me in surprise, ¡°Oh, Andrew! Morning mate. I heard you slept better!¡± He said as he put the plastic folder into his backpack.


    ¡°Oh, AI told you?¡±


    ¡°No¡­ I literally didn¡¯t hear you scream.¡± He chuckled.


    I scratched my head in mild humiliation, ¡°Right¡­ Fair enough.¡±


    ¡°So, so what¡¯s on your agenda today? Are you going to the cafe at eleven again?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ I was actually hoping to go now, with you, if that¡¯s alright?¡±


    He smiled, ¡°Haha, excellent. I¡¯m really happy to see you are keen to go there. You know, when I¡¯m there, it doesn¡¯t feel like work, did I ever tell you that?¡±


    ¡°No, but I can tell when I watch the stream. You¡¯re always smiling in that hall¡­ Nowadays at least.¡±


    He looked at me humbly, ¡°Andrew¡­ Now that they have met you¡­ It feels like everything is going to be alright.¡± He beamed a huge smile at me.


    I nodded, ¡°It¡¯s good to come out of the shadows, at least partly.¡±


    He picked up the car keys, ¡°Anyway, let¡¯s go. Headphones please.¡±


    When we arrived, I walked into the foyer and took off my headphones. There were seemingly hundreds of Rose members sitting down or standing around talking to each other. I thought this would be a good opportunity for me to talk with a few of them.


    I looked around and I saw that shy girl from the day before, the one who realised I was hiding things about my past. She was sitting as far away from others as she could. She was the perfect person for me to talk to. I sat next to her, she looked at me and then immediately looked away. She truly was surprisingly shy.


    ¡°Morning.¡± I calmly said.


    ¡°... Hi.¡± Her voice was so quiet.


    ¡°What¡¯s your name, if I may ask?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ Ruth.¡±


    ¡°Ruth, it¡¯s a pleasure to meet you properly.¡±


    I offered to shake hands, expecting her to ignore it. I was surprised when, after a short moment, she quickly put her hand there, squeezed it ever so gently then pulled her hand away. It was actually quite adorable.


    ¡°Andrew¡­ Shouldn¡¯t you be talking with people¡­ More important than me?¡± She said looking at the table.


    ¡°I¡¯m not a snob. I''m really excited to talk to normal members, like you.¡±


    Michael took a seat opposite us at the same table. I could see her visibly curl inwards from shyness, for Michael was an immense presence.


    ¡°Morning Ruth.¡± he said politely.


    ¡°... Morning, sir.¡± She quietly responded.


    I wasn¡¯t going to let her sit there, feeling uncomfortable. I needed to get her talking about something she cares about.


    ¡°Ruth, may I ask what your job is, here with the Roses?¡±


    Ruth looked at me for a split second then looked away.


    ¡°Nothing important¡­¡± Her face was sad.


    I tried to cheer her up, ¡°Nonsense, everyone matters here.¡±


    ¡°... I am a cleaner¡­¡± she stared at the table.


    I tilted my head sideways, ¡°How¡¯s that not important? Imagine this building operating if it were a mess¡­¡±


    ¡°All I do is mop the floor and clean the windows, Andrew¡­ hardly worth caring about.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°And all I do is have emotional breakdowns and cause the leadership to flail around in panic. Trust me, your role here is far more important than mine.¡±


    She smiled and chuckled. Thank goodness, I didn¡¯t want people feeling unwanted or like they were a bother. Everyone there had an equally important part to play.


    ¡°Ruth, I want to thank you for doing a fantastic job here. From when I first took a step into this building, it¡¯s been spotless. Everything is always so clean and tidy. I now know it¡¯s you I have to thank.¡±


    She looked at me, but that time she didn¡¯t look away, ¡°Really? That means a lot coming from you, Andrew.¡±


    It was then that Ashley took a seat at our table, next to Michael. If you could see the look on Ruth''s face¡­ I could see the stars in her eyes. AI was right, Ashley is a very real inspiration to most women here. Ashley elbowed Michael as a greeting and Michael nodded in response.


    ¡°Sup.¡± She said to both Ruth and I.


    Ruth was so starstruck, she could barely talk, ¡°I um¡­ You¡­ I mean¡­ Sorry.¡±


    Ashley winked at Ruth, ¡°I don¡¯t think we¡¯ve met, what¡¯s your name?¡±


    Ruth glanced at Michael and then to me, like she wanted some help, ¡°My name¡­ Is Ruth.¡±


    ¡°Ruth? My sister''s name is also Ruth, that¡¯s a good name.¡± Ashley beamed a smile.


    Ruth smiled back, ¡°Thank you.¡±


    A moment went by in silence. Suddenly, the room loudly beeped hundreds of times, as everyone''s orders appeared on their phones. There was a chaotic wave of movement and voices as people talked about what their orders were. I listened to the table next to us.


    One young man quickly spoke, ¡°Right, I''ll be caring for old man Berty again. Someone please tell me he doesn¡¯t still have the shits¡­¡±


    ¡°Sweet, I''m on litter duty at a nearby park! Should be easy, it¡¯s a rich neighbourhood, so they don¡¯t really litter in the first place.¡± a deep voiced woman said.


    ¡°Aw mate, I got to sweat in the kitchen with Heartly today! Pray for me, friends!¡± An Irish voice stressed out.


    I sat there listening to peoples¡¯ chats as they stood up to go do their given job for the day. I hoped they were grateful they had a working body to do work. I was almost disabled in my current state.


    ¡°I wish I had a job to do¡± I looked down at the table.


    Ruth looked at me with a smile, ¡°Heal first, Andrew¡­ Then you can shine for us.¡±


    I looked at Ruth and then her phone, ¡°You didn¡¯t get a task?¡±


    ¡°Andrew, my task is always the same¡­ AI probably didn¡¯t tell me what I already know I have to do. I just get the mop and clean the floor after everyone leaves.¡±


    AI appeared on Ruth''s phone, ¡°Not at all Ruth, there is a reason why you never received orders.¡±


    Ruth jolted and accidentally dropped the phone onto the table after being surprised. She scrambled to pick it up.


    Her voice was panicked, ¡°Oh no¡­ I¡¯ve made AI angry¡­ I¡¯m so sorry.¡±


    Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.


    AI smiled, ¡°Not at all Ruth. Please relax, I want you to know that today is a rest day for you.¡±


    She began shaking in terror, ¡°Oh no¡­ Please AI, I need the money to pay my rent, things are really hard, please don¡¯t punish me, I''ll clean the whole HQ, just don¡¯t do this to me¡­¡±


    Ashley reached over and held Ruth''s hand, ¡°Rest days are paid fully, Ruth, don¡¯t worry.¡±


    Ruth was panicking, ¡°You¡¯re only saying that because Andrew is here and she doesn¡¯t want to make him angry.¡±


    I felt a wave of different emotions. I was hurt that Ruth thought I was pampered by AI¡­  But most of all, I was deeply concerned that a member of the Roses was struggling with financial difficulty.


    ¡°Ruth, I promise you¡­ You will be taken care of. I know the Rose leadership, they won¡¯t ever punish you unfairly, you have my word.¡±


    She looked at me, reading my face as she slowly breathed and calmed down. She was no longer shaking.


    AI gently spoke, ¡°Ruth, please forgive me. I seem to have given you the wrong impression. I merely wanted to give you rest after you stayed up till 2 AM last night, mopping the floor. I wanted to say thank you, for your dedication.¡±


    Ruth looked at the phone silently, as she tried to process what AI said, ¡°So you aren¡¯t¡­ Punishing me?¡±


    ¡°Of course not, I have no reason to do that at all.¡± AI gave a thumbs up with her avatar.


    Ruth smiled, ¡°Ok¡­ Sorry I freaked out.¡±


    I intercepted, ¡°Don¡¯t apologise, we have each other''s back here. AI, please send Ruth an entire month''s salary, out of my money.¡±


    Ruth looked at me in disbelief, ¡°What¡­ You don¡¯t have to do that.¡±


    ¡°Yes I do Ruth. I know the terror one feels, to be uncertain if you can keep a roof above your head. I want you to feel secure and happy in this organisation.¡±


    AI beamed a smile, ¡°Money sent, now please put it out of your mind, go to the cafe and relax. Thank you for everything you do for us Ruth.¡± Ruth''s phone beeped as her banking app sent a notification of ¡ê1800 being received to her account.


    ¡°I¡­ You didn¡¯t¡­ this means so much to me¡­¡± She started crying as she covered her face with her hands.


    Ashley stood up, ¡°Come Ruth, I''ll get Heartly to cook your favourite meal and you can tell me more about yourself.¡±


    Ruth stood up slowly as she wiped the tears away. She looked at me before leaving, ¡°Andrew, I truly see now, that you really are a blessing to the Roses. Thank you so much.¡±


    Ashley patted my shoulder as she walked past. Her way of saying, ¡®Good job¡¯. Michael looked at me, as he was clearly very impressed as well.


    ¡°I could hardly think of a more honourable way, to first spend your fortune.¡±


    I looked out the tinted window, ¡°It felt right, it felt good¡­ That¡¯s the angel''s dream Michael, to create hope, a safety net where nobody is left behind.¡±


    AI spoke to me through my hearing aid, ¡°You saved that situation, thank you so much my friend.¡±


    *


    I went with Michael to the Cafe. Ashley and Ruth were sitting there, talking with Heartly. I could see Heartly pause the conversation to yell something to the back of the kitchen.


    I took a seat next to Ruth. She was surprised to see me again in such a short time. I waved at Heartly and he gave me a thumbs up.


    ¡°Well well well¡­¡± He crossed his arms.


    ¡°We appear to be in the presence of rich youth.¡± He smiled at me.


    I shook my head quickly, ¡°Please sir, please don¡¯t refer to me like this. It gives the image of a hooligan, blowing millions on sports cars and prostitutes.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ Right, my apologies son, I meant it in a good way¡± He humbly smiled.


    AI appeared on the tablet on the counter, ¡°Andrew, did you know, you are now the 12th richest person on the planet?¡±


    I looked away down the counter. I didn¡¯t feel any sense of accomplishment from this. I didn¡¯t feel I had earned it, and I couldn¡¯t care even if I were the richest in the world.


    Heartly looked me in the eye, ¡°Son¡­ Don¡¯t you think you deserve it though? You were tortured so awfully¡­¡±


    ¡°Sure, I think I deserve some pay, I wouldn¡¯t argue that. Just¡­ Not all the money the Roses have made.¡±


    ¡°If they gave you a million, wouldn¡¯t that be insulting though? If they have 88 billion, but give their saviour 1 million¡­ That¡¯s spitting in your face.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°... Yeah, I suppose. Why not¡­ A percentage instead? 33%, with interest¡­ That¡¯s more than fair.¡±


    Ruth spoke, ¡°I voted for all the money made, Andrew. You are the reason we have that money in the first place, anything less would be unacceptable.¡±


    ¡°Ruth¡­ Didn¡¯t you think about the consequences that would follow from the Roses losing that much money?¡±


    ¡°No, and I still don¡¯t. I watched as Michael and Aisling gave their reasoning¡­ And I agreed with them entirely.¡±


    Heartly interjected, ¡°To be fair son, Aisling told us the banks were all willing to lend us, interest free should we do this. Our credit score is impeccable apparently.¡±


    I looked at AI, ¡°Is that really true AI? Or was Aisling bluffing?¡±


    AI instantly responded, ¡°It is entirely true. All four major banks gave written commitments to us that they would lend interest free for the first year. We still would have paid interest, out of honour and integrity.¡±


    ¡°So what you are all saying, is that I overreacted?¡±


    Everyone said at the same time, ¡°Yes!¡±


    I looked down at the counter, ¡°Boy¡­ I sure do know how to screw up a good¡¯un.¡±


    Everyone laughed out loud. Michael put his hand on my shoulder and Ruth put her hand on mine. As much as I failed, I still felt the outcome was better for everyone. They didn¡¯t end up needing to take the loans, so all is well.


    AI spoke to me, ¡°Andrew, can you please come to the hall?¡±


    ¡°Oh no¡­¡± I felt a wave of worry come over me.


    AI smiled, trying to reassure me, ¡°No do not worry, there is someone I want you to meet.¡±


    ¡°Ok, I''ll head there now.¡± I glanced at the time, it was 8:40 AM, I still had plenty of time before break time.


    I walked out the cafe, through the foyer and into the hall. Everyone rose for me as Aisling and Nadia waved at me with their stunning smiles.


    ¡°I¡¯m here AI, I sincerely hope this is not another ¡®pleasant surprise¡¯¡± I said as I walked to the middle of the hall. Michael and Ashley walked past me and took a seat with the other agents and agent Will gave me a wave.


    AI was on her large screen, smiling as she spoke.


    ¡°You had questions about the Black Roses. I mentioned you, and their leader has agreed to speak with you, to answer some questions.¡± AI gestured behind me.


    I looked behind me, the sliding doors opened and a lady confidently walked in. She was certainly a sight to behold. She had dyed dark red hair in twintails, with a black Rose on each ponytail. She wore black lipstick, black eyeliner and dark eye shadow. Her black Rose uniform was custom tailored to match her unique Goth style. On her eye was an agent monitor, except hers was black.


    I instantly knew that I had never seen an agent like her. I did the cards for every agent in the Roses¡­ Her face had never shown up. I looked at her face for a moment, when it occurred to me¡­ I knew this person. I knew her from a long time ago, when we were teenagers. I felt fairly confident, but I could always be wrong.


    She looked at me with an almost bothered look, as if I were already wasting her time.


    ¡°Greetings Andrew, you¡¯ve never met me before, but I go by an alias¡­¡±


    ¡°Bellatrix.¡± I said with certainty.


    She stared at me for a moment, ¡°So you have heard of me?¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°No, this is my first time being introduced to you.¡±


    She folded her arms in frustration, ¡°Then¡­ How did you know my alias?¡±


    I looked at her for a moment. I was right, I did know her. She always did love the vampire gothic aesthetic. I remembered her stealing black nail polish, so that she could look more goth.


    ¡°I think¡­ I once knew you.¡± I said thoughtfully.


    ¡°Really?¡± She looked carefully at my face.


    I wrote a message on my phone, for I didn¡¯t want anyone hearing me say it.


    I showed it to her, ¡°We were teenagers back then, I only knew you for a few weeks¡­ I¡¯m sorry I never got to say goodbye¡­¡±


    I wrote more and showed it to her, ¡°Sorry it¡¯s been so long, Trish.¡±


    She took a few steps back, her face wracked with worry.


    ¡°I have only ever told my name to three people, and none of them were named Andrew!¡± She was visibly uncomfortable that I had this information.


    I wrote another message on my phone, ¡°Please, don¡¯t tell anyone who I am, but you will know me as the person you gave a nickname to, ¡®Alaric¡¯.¡±


    I showed her the message and she looked very carefully at my face. After a moment she finally saw it. She froze for a moment, before she gave me a gentle hug.


    She let go of me from the hug, ¡°I was always worried if you were killed¡­ Where did you go?¡±


    I looked away, ¡°I was taken away again¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ The bastards.¡± Her face curled in anger.


    We just looked at each other for a few moments.


    ¡°So, look at you now Bellatrix¡­ You look so proud, so strong. I¡¯m just so happy to see you safe.¡±


    She looked over my body, ¡°I wish I could say the same for you¡­ Andrew.¡± She was trying to not use my other name.


    She shook her head, ¡°You look awful¡­ How did you escape and end up with an even worse fate?¡± Her voice was deeply concerned.


    ¡°I look bad, but I¡¯m happy¡­ Or at least I¡¯m on the road to that point. I think I finally found a¡­ You know.¡±


    She nodded in complete understanding, ¡°Yeah, I know how you feel. This place feels like home to me too.¡± She looked around at the members of the Inner Roses and smiled.


    ¡°Anyway, sorry I got distracted Bellatrix¡­ I was hoping you could tell me more about the Black Roses?¡±


    ¡°We are the protectors of the angels.¡± She said plainly.


    ¡°Does that include AI?¡±


    ¡°Absolutely, the trio has been our sole focus, since they first introduced themselves to us.¡±


    ¡°I see. Why have I not seen any of the Black Roses before now?¡±


    ¡°Because we hide in plain sight. We don¡¯t show our Black Roses when we do our  job. You have already met a few of us, you just never knew it.¡±


    I made an ¡®Aaaa¡¯ sound, ¡°Right, and why have you dedicated yourselves fervently to this cause?¡±


    Her eyes showed passion, ¡°Because we had nothing, but they fed us, clothed us and gave us tents for shelter. We waited for them to ask us for something in return¡­ But they didn¡¯t. They literally just helped us, for absolutely nothing at all.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s the angels¡­ That¡¯s the dream they got me hooked on as well.¡±


    She stared into forever as she spoke, ¡°We saw people attacking them, spitting on them and even¡­ It doesn¡¯t matter¡­ The rules of the street, is when you find a good¡¯un, you stay at their side. So we protected them, we fought off the attackers, we gave them the space they needed to try to make a difference.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I know that code. It all makes sense now. So, you¡¯re still here though?¡±


    ¡°They built this fancy HQ, they made lots of money, but still, there are those who try to hurt them. The black Roses have dedicated ourselves to protecting them, as long as they continue to be honest and righteous.¡±


    ¡°I see, a perfectly mutual relationship. It¡¯s honest¡­¡± I said as I crossed my arms.


    She looked deep into my eyes, ¡°Yet, no matter how much we do to protect them, Andrew¡­ You are their saviour. You were the first true Black Rose.¡±


    I looked at Aisling and Nadia at that moment. They were nodding fervently in agreement. Once more, I was made aware of just how much my sacrifice caused waves.


    *


    ¡°Well, thank you very much for your time Bellatrix. I respect what you do here, and if there is anything I can do to help your group, let me know.¡± I said as I shook her hand.


    The Hall entrance door slid open and the lady from the foyer came quickly walking in. She approached me, trying to be quick and not bothersome.


    ¡°Andrew, sorry to interrupt, but a kind man asked me to give you this. He also said he would be back in about an hour, to talk with you.¡±


    She handed me a little contact card and I read the name, ¡°Shaun Dredge¡±. I instantly froze as a wave of panic washed over me. He had found me and he was coming for me¡­


    Bellatrix instantly recognised my panic, ¡°Andrew¡­ Let me see that.¡±


    She took the card from my hand and read it.


    ¡°That worthless son of a bitch again! Jesus Christ, he has some nerve showing up here!¡± She was livid.


    ¡°Andrew, it¡¯s alright, you¡¯re safe here.¡± She tried to hold my hand in comfort, but she couldn¡¯t get a hold of it.


    I shook my head in panic, ¡°No¡­ I¡¯m not safe from him anywhere!¡±


    I stood there as my hand shook violently¡­ No, my entire body was shaking. I just didn¡¯t think he would bother, I didn¡¯t think they cared. Why were they here, what did they want?


    Bella looked at me with worry, ¡°Andrew¡­ Oliver, you¡¯re his mate and his carer right? Come here now!¡± Bellatrix yelled.


    Oliver came over quickly and looked at the card. He stopped for a moment, as he thought.


    He shook his head, ¡°This is bad. Andrew¡­ They have to know, right now or else he will tell them.¡± He put his hands on my shoulders.


    ¡°I thought they forgot about me, I thought I had more time¡­¡± I said as I could hardly think straight.


    ¡°Unfortunately, you don¡¯t have any more than an hour¡­ I¡¯ll help, just breathe, don¡¯t have another panic attack on me, breathe.¡±


    I forced myself to breathe again and again. It helped and the shaking slightly eased. After a moment, I looked at AI.


    ¡°AI¡­ Remember when I asked you not to look into my past?¡±


    She nodded, ¡°Yes, I kept my word on that.¡±


    ¡°I need you to look into it, right now!¡± My voice was stressed.


    ¡°Very well, standby.¡± She showed screens appearing like holograms next to her avatar.


    A moment passed before she spoke.


    ¡°Andrew I have nothing, I can¡¯t find anything.¡± She looked at me and shrugged.


    I took the contact card and put it up to Bellatrix¡¯s monitor.


    AI saw it by proxy, ¡°Right, give me another moment.¡± A short moment passed.


    ¡°Oh¡­ Yet I don¡¯t have any information on you, Andrew?¡± She looked confused.


    I looked away in shame, ¡°My name isn¡¯t¡­ It isn¡¯t Andrew¡­ Look up¡­¡± My voice broke, as I hated my given name.


    Bellatrix said it for me, ¡°Aaron.¡±


    AI went back to searching. She froze on the spot as her face instantly changed to a sad one.


    AI spoke slowly, ¡°Andrew¡­ I¡¯m so sorry.¡±


    Michael stood up and walked over to me.


    He crossed his arms, ¡°Ok, let¡¯s hear it.¡±


    AI raised her voice at him, ¡°Michael, this is far more sensitive than you realise, I strongly request you to be quiet and listen.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ Ok¡­¡± He raised his hands in surrender.


    Oliver was rubbing my shoulders, trying to calm me.


    ¡°You need to tell them, now¡­¡±


    ¡°I know, it¡¯s just¡­ Really hard Oliver¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m here, Michaels here, we¡¯re all here for you, just tell them step by step and I''ll fill in any extra details.¡±


    I looked around the hall and saw everyone was concentrating on me with concern. I took a few deep breaths and managed to find the courage to start talking.


    ¡°When I was born¡­ I was¡­ I am¡­ A foundling¡± I looked away as I began crying.


    AI spoke, ¡°For those who are unaware, ¡®foundling¡¯ is the term for a child discovered, without any information on who the parents are.¡±


    The hall remained dead quiet and after a moment I continued to explain.


    ¡°Usually¡­ Foundlings are temporary. The parents usually show up after a change of heart and then the child becomes a standard orphan¡­ But I never got that privilege¡­¡± I shook my head trying to not break down.


    Bellatrix hugged me from behind as she quietly whispered ¡°Shhh, it¡¯s ok¡±. I took a few moments before I continued.


    ¡°Until a foundling gets adopted¡­ They are legally classified as¡­ ¡®Stateless¡¯.¡± I took a few more deep breaths.


    ¡°Because¡­ They have no evidence to prove my parents are British, or that I was born in Britain¡­ They also have no evidence that I was born in any other country¡­ Stateless.¡±


    There were several deep breaths as people understood the problem.


    ¡°I¡­ Nobody ever adopted me¡­ I¡­ I¡¯m a reject¡­¡± I burst into tears as I broke down.


    Oliver took over for me, since I simply couldn¡¯t talk anymore.


    ¡°Andrew¡­ Aaron¡­ Since he was not adopted, he was moved from one council home to the next. Nobody took him, so he was simply moved, again and again.¡±


    The hall erupted in shock, Aisling and Nadia were both crying then. Suddenly, my situation made sense to them.


    Michael spoke, ¡°That¡¯s why you¡¯re terrified of being abandoned¡­ You were abandoned countless times¡­ Even your own country has abandoned you.¡± He was also crying.


    Oliver continued, ¡°Throughout Andrew''s life, his carer was Shaun Dredge. He is now an authority minister of parliament, and he¡¯s the one who¡¯s been monitoring Andrew throughout his life.¡±


    ¡°He is the one who is coming soon, and that¡¯s a very large problem.¡±


    Michael looked at Oliver, ¡°Why? Andrew¡¯s an adult now, surely he¡¯s out of their jurisdiction now?¡±


    Oliver shook his head, ¡°No, because he is still stateless. He is still in a legal grey area.¡±


    ¡°So what? If he is happy, what¡¯s wrong with that?¡±


    Oliver raised his voice to emphasise, ¡°Michael, this is why he can¡¯t have a bank account! He can¡¯t get NHS care, he isn¡¯t entitled to benefits, he can¡¯t own land¡­ He''s nobody in the legal system¡­¡±


    The hall again erupted in shock. Michael took several steps back, his face was in disbelief. Oliver finally ended it on the most important part.


    ¡°It also means¡­ They can take him away. They can arrest him and he has no rights. If they want to, they can lock him away and it won¡¯t break any human rights¡­ He has no human rights.¡±


    Aisling stood up.


    ¡°What can we do? There has to be SOMETHING we can do!¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°There is. Someone needs to adopt Andrew, legally. Once that¡¯s done, even though he is an adult, he will no longer be classified as stateless.¡±


    Aisling looked around the hall for a moment.


    ¡°I can¡¯t do this, neither can Nadia and AI¡­ For obvious reasons¡­ Who here would be willing to do this for Andrew?¡±


    There was a loud sound, as nearly every middle aged member of the Inner Roses stood up. I felt so humbled, yet I still couldn¡¯t speak. I tried to talk, but my words failed me.


    Michael stepped forward, ¡°No, it¡¯s me¡­ It¡¯s definitely me¡­¡± His eyes were soft, his face showed complete certainty.


    He looked at me, ¡°Andrew, I know you better than anyone. I made you a part of myself when I researched you after the promise¡­ It¡¯s me¡­¡±


    Everyone else sat down, for they knew it was Michael as well, he was the obvious one, none could compare. AI smiled as she started to talk.


    ¡°I am through to a council social worker, I have petitioned for the adoption, an agent is at the council office to fill in the paperwork¡­ Standby to see if they approve.¡±


    Minutes passed in terrifying silence as AI¡¯s avatar silently spoke on a holographic video call. It was muted, but you could see the lady had concerns. AI was showing images and documents of Michael, his birth certificate, his social security number, his yearly income and his criminal record. Images of where Michael lived, his family line, his military paperwork and commendations. Every detail was being presented and scrutinised.


    Nearly twenty minutes went by in silence and I finally stopped crying and regained control.


    I looked at him, ¡°Michael, thank you¡­ Even if they say no¡­ I would be honoured to think of you as family.¡±


    Michael gave me a big hug as he continued to cry.


    *


    AI finally unmuted herself.


    ¡°We have done all we can on our end, however one last thing remains. Michael, you need to state your intention to adopt, to the council lady I am speaking to.¡±


    AI¡¯s screen was replaced by the video feed of the council member. She was looking at the screen with a smile.


    ¡°Greetings, Mr. Campbell. I need to hear you clearly state your intent please.¡± She said as she played with her pen in her hand. She clearly never felt rushed at all.


    Michael let go of me and faced AI, the video showed him on the top right corner, to show that he was facing the camera.


    ¡°I, Michael Campbell, wish to adopt Andrew Smith¡­ Aaron, as my own child. I swear to take care of him, as my own.¡±


    The lady nodded and wrote for a moment on the page. She then looked at the screen again.


    ¡°Thank you very much, now I need Aaron to please confirm that he is willing to be adopted.¡±


    I faced the camera as I wiped the fresh tears from my eyes.


    ¡°I¡­ Aaron¡­ Am wholeheartedly willing to be adopted by Michael Campbell¡­ I trust him entirely.¡± I struggled to say it, I kept wanting to cry.


    The lady''s face was sad, seeing me cry.


    ¡°Sorry, Aaron, there is the possibility that you are being forced into this. I need you to repeat that, so that I am certain this is wholeheartedly what you want.¡±


    ¡°I apologise, I¡¯m in an emotional state, but yes, I repeat that I am willing to be adopted by Michael Campbell and that I trust him entirely.¡±


    The lady nodded and wrote down more on her paper. She signed a page, flipped to the next page, signed that page, passed the paper to the agent who sat at her table, and the agent signed the page. On and on, multiple pages.


    Finally she compiled all the pages, looked at the screen and spoke.


    ¡°This adoption is approved, Aaron is now in relation to Michael Campbell. It is a big relief to finally resolve Aarons case. Congratulations¡­ Aaron Campbell. Your adoption papers will be printed and available to be collected in 2 - 5 working days.¡±


    ¡°Does that mean I am no longer stateless?¡±


    She nodded, ¡°That is correct.¡±


    ¡°Does that mean I am a citizen?¡±


    ¡°Correct young man, in your adoption papers, your social security number will be included, as well as your citizenship papers.¡±


    ¡°Thank you¡­ Thank you so much.¡± I started to cry more intensely.


    ¡°Oh, and I''ll inform Mr. Dredge. I believe he has an appointment with you now?¡±


    AI took over, ¡°Yes, we will inform him of this, may I please have any details to confirm this took place¡­ Maybe a case number?¡±


    ¡°Yes, I''ll email you that. If that is all, I will bid farewell.¡± The video ended.


    I stood there stunned. My entire life¡­ My nightmare had really finally ended. I was a person¡­ I finally had the right to call myself a member of society. Michael hugged me again as he rocked us back and forth.


    He whispered in my ear, ¡°I¡¯m so sorry this country abandoned you. I¡¯m so sorry to hear that your loneliness was throughout your entire life¡­ I thought it was after the torture¡­ I thought wrong.¡±


    Aisling spoke, ¡°You¡¯ve been in that dark abandoned place that you spoke of¡­ Your  entire life¡­ That¡¯s how you¡¯ve become attuned to depressed people¡­ You¡¯ve never left it¡­¡±


    Nadia spoke, ¡°That¡¯s why you were so sceptical of us when you first met us¡­ Life had dealt you the worst card imaginable. Our dream was impossible in your existence¡­¡±


    She realised more, ¡°That¡¯s a major reason why you felt you deserved the torture¡­ Because you didn¡¯t feel you were even a person¡­¡±


    And even more¡­ ¡°That¡¯s why you couldn¡¯t make a bank account¡­ That¡¯s why you had hoped the Roses had used the NHS on your behalf¡­ Because you couldn¡¯t¡±


    Then she made the final realisation, ¡°That¡¯s why you wish you had died¡­ Because you¡¯ve been dead inside for most of your life¡­¡±


    I spoke, but Michael didn¡¯t let go of me from the hug.


    ¡°You two gave me hope for the first time in my life. I finally had something to believe in, something meaningful I could contribute towards¡­ I was happy to die in the torture, because I would have finally have done something¡­ I would have died as somebody who lived for something¡­¡±


    I whispered, ¡°Your dream¡­ Was my only reason to live.¡±


    *


    Ashley got up and walked over to me. Her face was ruined from crying.


    ¡°When Oliver said your life was harder than most¡­ I couldn¡¯t believe it. Now I see, even amongst orphans, your life was brutally unfair.¡±


    Bellatrix spoke, ¡°What are you talking about? Andrew was the one we looked at, to make ourselves feel better as orphans¡­¡±


    Ashley was shocked momentarily, ¡°You were an orphan yourself¡­ What was Andrew like?¡±


    ¡°He was quiet and depressed. People constantly bullied him, adults would kick him if they saw him¡­ He had no friends and he always tried to stay away from the care home he was assigned to.¡±


    I started sobbing again as the memories of the carers beating me until I fell unconscious, came back into my mind. I tried to run away, but my need for food forced me back. The other orphans were the good guys in my mind¡­ It was the adults that were the monsters.


    Ashley looked angry, ¡°Why¡­ Why would they kick him?¡±


    Bellatrix looked incredulously at Ashley, ¡°Because he was nothing to them? Ashley, do you have any idea what life on the street is like?¡±


    ¡°... No, I suppose I don¡¯t¡­¡± She took a step back.


    ¡°Orphans would think they won the lottery, if they were adopted. Sure, most parents would be really touchy feely, or like to beat you a little from time to time¡­ But at least you were off the street. I don¡¯t even know what happened to Aaron after they took him away, when we were teenagers¡­¡±


    I managed to get some words out, ¡°I ran away after they moved me. I ran to a rich neighbourhood and found places to sleep, every night.¡±


    Bellatrix shook her head, ¡°I doubt it was any better though?¡±


    ¡°It was¡­ There was nobody to beat me¡­ I managed to get scraps at restaurants¡­ It was manageable.¡±


    Bellatrix thought for a moment, ¡°You were 16 then¡­ Did you ever go back to the care homes?¡±


    ¡°No¡­¡±


    Michael asked as he finally let go of me, ¡°Even until now?¡±


    I looked at him, ¡°Yeah.¡±


    Aisling spoke up, ¡°So when we met you the first time¡­?¡±


    I looked away, ¡°I was homeless¡­¡±


    Aisling looked down¡­ She said nothing and I felt deeply ashamed.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I wish I could tell you my past was more normal. I wish I could tell you I was a healthy normal adult like Oliver or Michael¡­ But I wasn¡¯t¡­ I¡¯m not.¡±


    Aisling looked up, ¡°No Andrew, don¡¯t you dare apologise! You are exactly the reason I made the Roses, you are one of the problems we strive to fix, every day we meet here.¡±


    Nadia spoke, ¡°We have nearly cleared the streets of orphans, the Roses operate nearly 8 orphanages now, across the country and the globe. It¡¯s our hope that there will never be another Andrew Smith or Bellatrix.¡±


    Bellatrix spoke, ¡°Yes, when I go back to where I used to be, I see no homeless or orphans. This is why we so fervently serve the angels¡­ They do what they claim to do.¡±


    I looked at the two angels on their raised bench, ¡°Thank you for that. I would have killed to have an organisation like the Roses back then¡­ Don¡¯t you ever turn your back on those kids.¡±


    All three, AI, Nadia and Aisling said at the same time, ¡°Never.¡±


    *


    AI spoke out loud, ¡°You may enter, Mr. Dredge.¡±


    He walked down the passageway, keeping distant from me. As soon as I saw him, I hid behind Michael. Michael put his arm out, to show he was protecting me. Shaun Dredge looked at Michael and I for a few moments, with no emotion on his face.


    ¡°I was informed a moment ago¡­ Someone finally adopted you.¡±


    ¡°Yes, now leave here!¡± I shouted.


    ¡°I am a government worker, the Roses claim their HQ is treated as a public space, I have a right to be here, boy.¡±


    AI responded, ¡°And like any public space, bullying and harassment is illegal. We have multiple agents present, who are legal police officers. Government official or not, you will behave sir.¡±


    Dredge shrugged as he looked at me for a few moments.


    ¡°I¡¯m happy to see you finally found a home. It¡¯s not conventional, but it¡¯s still a place in which I can see you smile one day.¡±


    I shouted at him, ¡°Don¡¯t try to act now like you care about my happiness! You were all too happy to ignore the cuts and bruises on my face when you had to visit me for inspections!¡±


    His face changed to irritation, ¡°You were not the only kid being abused, I saw hundreds of abused kids daily! What was I supposed to do, Aaron? Pull them from their adopted homes? We didn¡¯t have enough space or resources to take back hundreds of kids.¡±


    ¡°You allowed it to happen under your watch! You were just a council worker when you started¡­ How did they promote you in your career to MP? You¡¯re a disgrace!¡± I spat out the last bit.


    ¡°I did what I could with what I had! The corporations that funded the orphanages only cared about hard numbers! They saw adoption rates go up and that was good enough for them! They couldn¡¯t care if the kids were beaten or raped, they just needed higher numbers to show their shareholders, Aaron!¡±


    Bellatrix walked up to Dredge and spat in his face.


    ¡°That¡¯s thanks for the all the fuck-all you did for us, you coward!¡±


    Dredge wiped his face with his sleeve, his breathing loud and agitated. AI must have been speaking to Bellatrix in her earpiece, as she walked past Dredge on the way out of the hall. She turned back to say one last thing.


    ¡°You stand in the hall of an organisation that did a hundredfold what you ever accomplished¡­ And they never had a penny to their name when they started! You¡¯re not welcome here minister, I hope the door hits you on the way out.¡±


    She walked out and disappeared back into the shadows she chose to hide in. I felt like she said everything I wanted to say and more. It felt good to hear her say it. Dredge looked at me with sadness in his eyes.


    ¡°I¡¯m resigning, not that you care. I know I failed and I know I don¡¯t deserve my position. I came here originally to wish you well. At least something I was involved in, came out alright.¡±


    He turned and walked out. He was gone¡­ Forever this time. That monster would never haunt me ever again¡­ He would never snatch me away from anything ever again.


    Nobody said anything. I just breathed as I tried to stop my hands from shaking. So much had just happened¡­ It was hard to process it all.


    Michael spoke out loud, ¡°It¡¯s 10 minutes before break¡­ I¡¯m calling it now though. We all need time right now.¡±


    AI nodded, ¡°Agreed, this break will be two hours in length. Thank you everyone for your understanding.¡±


    As people got up and started to leave the hall, they all said kind things as they passed. A few of them stopped to say things to me. Mr. Crowley stopped by me to speak his mind.


    ¡°I now understand your hesitation, son. I did find myself very curious as to why you couldn¡¯t make a bank account. If you wish to do that now, I would be all too happy to assist you in doing so and we can move the money over now with no friction.¡±


    ¡°Thank you sir, but I would rather keep the arrangement we have at present. I wish to give my all to support this organisation.¡±


    He nodded with a smile, ¡°Of course young sir, of course.¡±


    He walked away and  Ashley was waiting to speak to me.


    ¡°I said it before and I will say it again. You are fucking unreal Andrew. You are the strongest man I will ever know. Just know that we are here for you¡­ Nobody here will abandon you, that¡¯s a promise.¡±


    ¡°Thank you Ashley, that means the world to me to hear.¡± I gave her a hug and she hugged me back.


    She walked out to the cafe. Aisling and Nadia stood waiting to talk to me.


    Aisling started, ¡°You are this organisation''s and my¡­ Saviour¡­ You always will be. I can¡¯t describe how happy I am though, to see you finally get saved yourself. You needed rescuing more than anyone else. Michael is a good man, he won¡¯t ever let you down Andrew.¡± She smiled gloriously.


    ¡°Thanks Aisling, I wish you knew¡­ Just how much this whole organisation saves me every day.¡±


    Nadia smiled, ¡°I want to take you to a few of the orphanages we built sometime. I want you to see that we are treating them right, that they are safe and happy.¡±


    ¡°That would mean a lot, thank you Nadia¡­ But also make a point of showing the Black Roses. All the members who used to be homeless, would appreciate seeing the progress you¡¯re making.¡±


    ¡°Of course Andrew, I''ll make it a priority.¡±


    They both hugged me with their bright smiles and went to the cafe. My pain disappeared with their blessing. What a wonderful gift to be given after such a great victory.


    I turned to Michael, ¡°Dad?¡± I said with a frown.


    He flicked my forehead, ¡°Don¡¯t even start that nonsense. I¡¯m only 4 years older than you. Let¡¯s just go with¡­ Brother, for now.¡±


    I leaned my head on his chest, ¡°Thank you Michael¡­ You saved me¡­¡±


    Michael hugged me again. The feeling of family¡­ Someone who wanted me. I cried some more before I got a grip. Afterwards, we both walked out to go to the cafe.

 Chapter 10

    Chapter 10


    As I walked through the passageway and reached the split between the gym and the cafe, I found myself stopping and looking towards the gym. A part of me wished I could go there, make myself stronger, faster and get more endurance. I may never get that chance though.


    Michael put his hand on my shoulder, ¡°We start now, because now is all we will ever have Andrew.¡±


    I turned to look at him, ¡°Start what?¡±


    ¡°Your training.¡±


    I looked at the gym doors and back to Michael, ¡°I don¡¯t think I could lift a single weight¡­¡±


    ¡°Well, we will still try mate, but first¡­ Food.¡±


    He pulled me away and into the cafe. It was crowded with people, but it grew a bit quieter when I entered and people noticed me. Many thoughtful faces glanced in my direction. I tried to ignore the attention as we made our way to the counter. Ruth was still there, her gaze now fixed on me as well. Ashley stood next to her once again, and Heartly was there, holding a fish in one hand and a cucumber in the other.


    He said to the two ladies, ¡°So bass and cucumber soup¡­¡±


    ¡°I come into the kitchen, and 50 orders are for¡­ Bass and cucumber soup.¡±


    Ashley laughed out loud and Ruth snickered. Heatly dropped the two food items on the table.


    ¡°Honestly, I have never had to cook stranger food, than for the Roses.¡± He smiled as he started chopping up the cucumber.


    I took a seat on Ruth''s left and Michael sat on my left. Ruth turned to me immediately, I could tell she wanted to talk to me about something.


    Her face was concerned, ¡°So that¡¯s your dark secret, Andrew.¡±


    I looked her in her eyes, ¡°Was it better or worse than you imagined?¡±


    ¡°It was better¡­ I¡¯m happy to see that after all you went through¡­ You never became as bad as the monsters that haunted you.¡±


    I looked at the counter deep in thought, ¡°I tried to be a monster when I first met the angels¡­ I wanted to humiliate them¡­ I wanted them to have a taste of the reality I was born into.¡±


    She slightly shook her head, ¡°That didn¡¯t last long¡­ By the end of the day you stood at their side¡­ Just like the Black Roses, Andrew. It takes a good person to change¡­ In the face of actionable proof.¡±


    ¡°I wouldn¡¯t say I am a good person, Ruth.¡±


    ¡°You are Andrew, I knew it the moment I first saw you¡­ When you kneeled to AI in that hall on the first day¡­ I knew everything I could ever need to know about you.¡±


    I said nothing, I wasn¡¯t comfortable praising myself.


    ¡°Then today, you came and sat next to me, a nobody. You praised me and you said what I do mattered. You listened to my worries and you went out of your way to help fix my problem¡­ You are absolutely a good person, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°Thank you Ruth¡­ I try my hardest.¡± I said looking at the counter.


    Ruth smiled as she resumed eating her food, pancakes covered in custard and sprinkled with slices of banana. Before I could comment on her food, a plate of steak and salad appeared in front of me.


    I started sliding the plate to Michael, just to see he had his own plate, with a massive potato added on his. I looked up at Heartly, confused.


    ¡°Family orders, don¡¯t look at me¡­¡± Heartly put his hands in the air. I looked at Michael, he had a big smile on his face.


    ¡°I said today we start your training. When you train, you need protein. It¡¯s time you ate to build muscle, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t eat all of this!¡± I looked at the massive steak... It was intimidating.


    ¡°All I want you to do is try¡­ For me please?¡± His face was sincere.


    ¡°Ok¡­ Ok. I need a knife and fork for this.¡± Michael pointed at the knives and forks on the counter.


    I cut a small piece off the steak, struggling with its toughness. I wondered how my mouth and body would handle such dense food. Tentatively, I put the steak in my mouth and began to chew. It was indeed tough, but I persevered, slowly breaking it down and swallowing. Suddenly, I froze in place.


    ¡°Oh my God!¡± I found myself saying out loud. Everyone stopped and looked at me with worried faces.


    ¡°This is so delicious¡­ How does this taste so damn good?!¡± I stared at it. The flavour was so hearty and my mouth adored the ability to chew properly.


    Michael laughed out loud, ¡°It¡¯s steak buddy, of course it¡¯s¡­¡± He stopped himself as his face went incredibly sad and he looked at me for a moment.


    He asked slowly, ¡°Andrew¡­ Have you ever eaten steak before?¡±


    ¡°No¡­¡± I said as I started cutting another piece of steak.


    Michael¡¯s face turned serious, ¡°What exactly have you eaten?¡± I noticed others also stopped eating as they realised something concerning.


    ¡°Um¡­ I had bread and¡­ The restaurants gave me leftover chips. I also had that amazing soup that Heartly makes.¡± I put another piece of meat in my mouth as I enjoyed the flavour of it¡­ So good.


    ¡°Is that it¡­ Ever? Have you not eaten any other foods in your life?¡± He almost sounded panicked.


    I looked at him and quickly swallowed, ¡°Um¡­ The sandwiches had ham sometimes and other times they had cheese¡­ Also there''s that awful liquid shit they made me eat in the hospital and for months afterwards... Fuck that horrible goop.¡±


    Ashley looked over, ¡°Andrew¡­ Is that really it?¡±


    I found myself getting frustrated, ¡°What do you people want me to say, that¡¯s all ok, it¡¯s just food alright, it¡¯s just a thing you have to have to survive, stop making a big deal about it!¡± I felt like there was something I didn¡¯t know and everyone was mocking me about that.


    Michael averted his gaze, his expression filled with profound sadness. I didn¡¯t understand why he was so sad. What was the problem?


    I gently put my hand on his shoulder, ¡°What¡¯s wrong, what did I say wrong?¡±


    He shook his head, ¡°Nothing, Andrew¡­ I just realised how little you¡¯ve been given in your life. It¡¯s dawning on me how privileged my life has been and how cruel yours was.¡±


    I looked back at the plate, ¡°It¡¯s just food, I don¡¯t know why you¡¯re so emotional about it¡±


    Everyone dropped their food onto their plate when I said that.


    ¡°What?!¡± Ruth spat out.


    ¡°No!¡± Heartly shouted.


    ¡°What stupid nonsense¡­¡± Ashley muttered.


    Heartly looked offended, ¡°Andrew, I respect your life has been cruel and unforgiving¡­ But food is the cornerstone of life itself! Food is the centre of culture, it¡¯s the largest pastime and the highest form of pleasure!¡±


    I slowly shrugged, ¡°Well I managed just fine without most of it¡­¡± I put another delicious piece of meat in my mouth.


    Heartly looked absolutely heartbroken, ¡°The fact that you are enjoying that steak as much as you are, means you love food as much as anyone¡­ You just never got any of it.¡±


    I looked at Heartly and then Michael, ¡°Can you guys do me a favour please? Can you smile for me?¡±


    Everyone smiled when I said it. There was no need for that sadness. The past was the past, and now things were better. I had far worse things to regret than not eating steak.


    Michael put his hand on my shoulder, ¡°I will show you a world of culinary delights, Andrew. When I''m done with you, you¡¯ll know why we care about food so much.¡±


    I looked at him, ¡°Culinary, what does that word mean?¡±


    ¡°Culinary? It¡¯s the main word used when talking about cooking.¡± His face became a little more concerned again.


    He looked at me for a while, deep in thought. It looked as though he wanted to ask me something.


    ¡°Go on¡­ Ask.¡± I said.


    ¡°... How far did you get¡­ Educationally?¡± He asked very carefully and very respectfully.


    ¡°I was taught to read and write by the foster homes¡­ But that¡¯s all, the rest I learned by talking to people and reading things on my phone.¡±


    I heard multiple knives and forks fall on plates. Not again, now what was the problem?


    My voice was raised, ¡°What now, huh? What did I say wrong this time?!¡± I was getting genuinely frustrated by all these judgemental reactions.


    Heartly spoke quietly, ¡°Son¡­ Did they not send you to school?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± I simply looked at Heartly.


    Multiple people looked away from me in what seemed like disappointment and/or sadness. So what if I never went to school? What was the big deal? Nobody noticed or cared before, so why should they have cared now?


    AI spoke to everyone at once, ¡°Andrew was stateless. He did not have an address, carers or legal identity. They could not enrol him in education even if they wanted to. Before any of you start to judge Andrew''s mental capacity, I will here and now testify of his intellect. He has demonstrated impressive cognitive and problem-solving capabilities. Do not be rude to him, or I will take offence.¡±


    Everyone went very quiet. I don¡¯t know if AI needed to do that, but their silence perhaps indicated they were considering going further on this.


    I stared at the table as I felt disappointed in myself, ¡°I¡¯m sorry again. I¡¯m sorry that I was born into a different life than the rest of you. I can¡¯t change the opportunities that have been given to me. I can¡¯t have what I was never given. I hope the things you have learned about me, doesn¡¯t change how you see me. I have tried my hardest to educate myself whenever I can¡­ Just give me time and patience, and I will learn whatever you want me to know¡­ I promise.¡±


    Michael hugged me tightly, ¡°You¡¯re my hero Andrew. This changes absolutely nothing in my eyes. I just needed to know more about you, I''m sorry to have made you feel uncomfortable.¡±


    AI looked at me with her gorgeous smile, ¡°I know your mind, Andrew. I could list over a hundred times that you impressed me with your ability to think. If there is anything you want to learn, I will forever be available to teach you. I am always with you, you know this. Simply ask and the knowledge will be yours.¡±


    I reached over to the tablet on the counter and I lightly ran the back of my fingers over the image of her avatar and AI cutely reacted.


    I whispered, ¡°Thank you. You¡¯ve given me so much AI. Nobody here knows just how much you¡¯ve done for me¡­ You¡¯ll always be my closest friend, my most loyal ally.¡±


    Ruth spoke, ¡°I have to admit¡­ It¡¯s very interesting to see¡­ How much AI talks to you, Andrew¡­¡±


    I nodded, ¡°I know, I keep hearing this from other people. For nine months, AI has been next to me. AI knows everything about me¡­ Except the things she couldn¡¯t possibly know of course, which I fully intend to tell AI about my past, so that she will continue to know everything about me. She knows me top to bottom, side to side¡­ And I wouldn¡¯t have it any other way.¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°Warts and all. A finer man, I will never know.¡±


    *


    I finished eating the last portion of the large steak on the plate. Heartley and Michael were looking at me with deep concentration as they tried to measure my response to such a different food type. I looked down at the plate, trying to measure my own response. My stomach was making audible noises as I felt intense movement and work being done. After a few moments, I looked up at Heartly.


    ¡°... May I¡­ May I please have some more?¡±


    Heartly beamed a glorious smile as he nodded. He reached into the small fridge under the counter and pulled out another large steak. On the pan it went, the smell was divine!


    Michael was also smiling, ¡°I know you enjoyed the taste¡­ I didn¡¯t expect you would ask for more though.¡±


    I scratched my head, ¡°All I can tell you¡­ Is that my body wants more?¡±


    ¡°Andrew, if you eat too much, how are you supposed to train?¡± Michael looked concerned.


    I thought intensely about that. The feeling of my stomach working intensely to digest, made me think I shouldn¡¯t exercise. I felt as though¡­ like I needed to focus on eating right at that stage.


    ¡°Michael¡­ I have so many things I need to talk about. Today was the most important day of my entire life¡­ Let¡¯s not train today, please. I promise that tomorrow I will, but for now I¡¯m satisfied with eating this new food today.¡±


    He looked at me for a moment before he smiled, ¡°Alright Andrew¡­ Alright.¡±


    Ashley looked down the counter at me, ¡°You now have all the time you could ever ask for. I always felt like you were afraid something would stop you, at any time. Now I know why you acted like that, but Andrew¡­ Take your time. The gym is going nowhere.¡±


    Heartly dished up the second steak and I immediately attacked it. It was just as delicious as the first. The flavour of the meat soaked my mouth, the seasoning adding so much more on top. I was half way through it, when I felt a soft hand on my shoulder. I looked behind me to see Aisling and Nadia.


    Nadia had a neutral expression, ¡°Andrew, may we please visit you after today''s meeting? We feel there are many things to talk about after today and we would appreciate the opportunity to talk with you more.¡±


    ¡°You are always welcome to visit me, at any time, everyone is. I have to warn you though, it¡¯s going to be emotional. Oliver will likely have a battery of therapy questions and it will be intense. If you are willing to be a part of that, I would love for you to visit me.¡±


    Aisling looked slightly worried, ¡°Oh, I remember the last time. I will prepare myself then, but that doesn¡¯t stop me from wanting to visit.¡±


    The two started to walk away, when I remembered something else, ¡°Could Bellatrix come too?¡±


    Aisling turned around and smiled, ¡°Whenever we leave this building, Bellatrix is with us. She will be there, but I cannot promise she will show herself or engage in any conversation. Her dedication to protecting us is her greatest priority.¡±


    ¡°I understand¡­ Let¡¯s hope she appears then.¡± I turned back to continue eating the last of the steak and I finished it, just as I felt entirely full. I looked at AI as a question appeared in my mind.


    ¡°Why give a two hour break AI?¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°Andrew, this organisation has learned that they owe you everything for its success. Today, we managed to put the entire puzzle together and see the whole picture. Your past is what drove you to sacrifice yourself for us, it is why you believe so entirely in its dream. People need time to look at the entire puzzle. They need to make peace with it all and respect the entire chain of events.¡±


    AI was right, my past was extremely relevant to the present. I suppose it¡¯s fair to give people a little time to think about it, whereas for me, it was constantly in my thoughts, I couldn¡¯t forget it. How could anyone think of their present and future, without always having their past in the back of their mind?


    ¡°AI, I worry how people see me now. I worry that people now see me differently. Perhaps they respect me less, due to my past poverty¡­ I was weak my whole life, and all I did was suffer, before finally contributing in any meaningful way. I wonder how many people think less of me.¡±


    AI¡¯s face changed quickly into a worried face, ¡°I can not speak for anyone other than myself, Andrew. However, from my perspective, your past is entirely understandable. There was nothing you could do to improve your condition. You were a victim of your environment and your birth.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°I wish I could have done something more¡­ Maybe if I ran away sooner, things would have been better¡­¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°Andrew, you can¡¯t run away from your past.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to run from it, AI¡­ I want to bury it.¡±


    She comforted me, ¡°Someone will simply dig it up. What is done is done. What matters is now, and now I see a brilliant man, with a gloriously bright future, who is always trying to make the correct decisions and is always caring for others. No matter how bad your past was, your present is excellent.¡±


    Everyone nodded fervently in a strong atmosphere of agreement. I didn¡¯t think much about their agreement. I had always assumed people would think less of me, rather than more. My past had always been people behaving less kindly¡­ And until I met the Roses, I had never experienced people doing more.


    I waited, just in case anybody wanted to talk to me. The break finally came to an end and I looked down the counter.


    ¡°Ashley, will you please visit me later?¡±


    She smiled at me, ¡°Thank God, I thought you weren¡¯t going to ask!¡±


    I looked at Ruth, ¡°Do you wa-¡±


    ¡°Nope.¡± she instantly responded. ¡°Sorry Andrew¡­ It would be just¡­ Too much for me.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Ok, fair enough.¡±


    The mass exodus happened as hundreds of black uniforms left the giant cafe hall.


    Oliver stopped next to me, ¡°Tonight¡¯s therapy will be intense¡­ Get ready.¡±


    ¡°I know mate. Now that I can talk about everything¡­ It¡¯s about time I got these things off my chest.¡±


    Oliver put his hand on my shoulder and rubbed it. He smiled at me and then turned around and walked out. I turned to Heartly.


    ¡°Thank you so much for your willingness to change my meal plan, sir. Tonight will tell how my body handles the tough meat, but I can definitely tell you¡­ It was delicious!¡±


    He bowed, ¡°We can¡¯t have you eating soup forever son¡­ It was my pleasure. As always, I eagerly look forward to your next visit.¡±


    I slowly stood up as my pain began to build. I would wait until I was home before I took the pain pills, in case it made me sleepy too early. Michael stood up as well. He looked at me for a moment or two, with a face I didn¡¯t think I had ever seen him show me¡­ It was warm and kind.


    He spoke carefully, ¡°It¡¯s dawning on me that we are family now¡­¡±


    ¡°Having regrets?¡± I started to worry if he might change his mind.


    ¡°No, I was actually starting to think how happy it makes me, to be able to be here for you like this. It feels¡­ Right.¡±


    I looked at him for a few moments. If I could have smiled, I would have smiled then. Instead I leaned my head on his chest. I felt so safe with him, like I could trust him with anything. He was my guardian, my friend¡­ Family.


    Heartly starting looking around as he coughed, ¡°Damnit, who the hell is cutting onions? It¡¯s making me cry like a baby!¡±


    Michael laughed and I nodded at Heartly. We said farewell and left the hall. The drive home was uneventful, with the exception that then I felt I was leaving one home to go to another. Perhaps before, the HQ was just a building to me, but now it felt like a sentimental place to me. I wanted to go back tomorrow and the day after. I wanted to be there and see the coming and going of members and agents. I finally felt like I belonged there.


    *


    We both entered the apartment and Michael tossed the car keys onto the table by the door. I went to the living room to sit down, but before that, I went to the nasty yellow capsule for the painkillers. I took two and then sat down on the sofa.


    Michael sat opposite me, so that he could face me.


    ¡°I want to talk with you, one on one, before we talk about other things tonight. I feel we need to talk about this adoption, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°I agree¡­ I have so much to say, I don¡¯t know where to begin.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s fine, I''ll start. Andrew, I know we did this very quickly, under the threat of you being taken away from us. It turns out he never wanted to take you away, but we still did what we needed to. What I want to start with, is that even though it was sudden¡­ I take this adoption completely seriously. I really do want to consider you as family, not out of duty nor as a knee-jerk reaction¡­ But because I feel close to you. As I researched you, I found myself admiring you, empathising with you and feeling a closeness.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Michael, the truth is that¡­ I take this adoption deadly seriously. This is more than a get out of jail card for me. This is giving me a place in this world, where I feel like a person, a person that matters for once. When you adopted me, for the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged. I need you to know¡­ This is important to me, ok?¡±


    ¡°Ok, good. Then we both take this seriously, that¡¯s a relief. No matter how fast it happened, we both meant it. Also, I know how important it is for you. You¡¯re going to have to sit down with me, and tell me all about your youth, Andrew. From what Bellatrix said, it was horrific¡­ I still need to know it though. Your hardships¡­ They are now also mine. You can trust me with the details of your past, I promise that I will hear it all with genuine interest and concern.¡±


    I found a strange warmth within me, for I could tell his honesty and openness was wholeheartedly genuine. I tried to make it clear just how much this meant to me and I knew then, that he truly understood this.


    ¡°Michael¡­ AI¡­ I will tell you about my growing up, that¡¯s a promise¡­ But not now, ok? It¡¯s so much for me to think of, so full of¡­ Unfairness and fear. It was so dark and hopeless¡­ Let me enjoy being happy now, for just a little longer. I promise I will tell you, just not now¡­¡±


    AI appeared on the TV and she bowed immediately, ¡°Whenever you are ready my friend, I will listen with great interest.¡±


    Michael nodded, ¡°There¡¯s no rush, when you¡¯re ready and comfortable.¡±


    I looked into Michael''s eyes, he was clearly thinking hard about what he needed to say.


    ¡°Andrew, if you want to move into my place, or if you want me to move here, then just say so.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°No, there¡¯s no need for that at all, I am happy here. Unless¡­ You want me to move into your place?¡±


    ¡°No, if you¡¯re happy, then I am happy. I was just covering this, in case this was something you cared about, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ Ok phew. Good¡­¡± I said as I breathed out.


    ¡°Andrew, relax. I get the feeling you¡¯re trying very hard here.¡±


    ¡°... Michael, I don¡¯t know what to do. I¡¯ve never had a family¡­ I don¡¯t know what I need to say or do, what my responsibilities are.¡± I felt frustrated.


    He smiled at me, ¡°Andrew, relax my man. It¡¯s ok, you don¡¯t need to do anything. Family means being there for each other. It''s honesty and acceptance. It means¡­ We can take our time and navigate this¡­ Together.¡±


    ¡°That sounds really good to me, I¡¯ll do my best¡­ Just don¡¯t leave me.¡±


    ¡°We¡¯re family. There¡¯s no greater way I can possibly promise you that I will never leave you.¡±


    I wiped the tears off my face as I nodded and looked away. I still felt that fear, deep down inside¡­ That he could abandon me.


    ¡°I need to find a way¡­ To accept this. I need to make peace, to let you in¡­ But it¡¯s so hard, Michael. After being moved again and again, abandoned again and again¡­ How can I trust anyone anymore?¡±


    AI spoke gently, ¡°You need time. Day after day, we will remain here. In time, you will realise our loyalty. We need to prove ourselves to you, and prove ourselves we shall.¡±


    Michael nodded, ¡°We¡¯re going nowhere, I will always be at your side, for as long as I breathe.¡±


    I looked away at the window as a thousand feelings of doubt washed over me. I focused on their words and the doubt started to fade. It never completely left, but most of it was gone.


    ¡°Ok. Well if there is anything I can or must do, to keep my value in this family, let me know.¡±


    Michael laughed out loud, ¡°You sound like me in the military when I was kissing ass for promotion. You don¡¯t need to do anything different at all. We¡¯re just talking, like families do.¡±


    ¡°Sorry.¡± I looked back at him.


    Michael looked at me for a few moments, ¡°What do you want to talk about, while we are here together?¡±


    I thought about it for a moment, ¡°If you want my money, I will give you all of it.¡±


    Michael bounced in a surprised reaction, ¡°What, no! I hope you don¡¯t think I did this for money, Andrew!¡±


    ¡°What, no! I just thought, families share things right? Shouldn¡¯t I share my money with you? Crap, I said something wrong, shit I''m sorry¡­¡±


    I buried my face into my hands as I shook my head. I had already fucked it up!


    His tone went gentle, ¡°Ok, it¡¯s alright. I can tell I misunderstood that, that¡¯s my mistake. Sorry, you¡¯re right, families do share things. It¡¯s honestly humbling that you offered it ALL to me, but there¡¯s really no need for that, I make enough money, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°Ok, alright¡­ Sorry.¡±


    ¡°Would you really give me all 88 billion though? Wouldn¡¯t that go against your wishes for the Roses to still be able to use it?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ I do want them to have it¡­ But you''re now my family, and I just thought you were more important? I dunno.¡±


    ¡°Hmm, just because we are family, doesn¡¯t mean I am more important than what you care the most for. I would never ever get between you and the Roses, even though I am a part of them. As a family, I respect you and your own priorities. If you really did try to offer me all the money, Andrew¡­ I would refuse it.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ Ok. Well, if you ever need some money, for whatever reason, don¡¯t hesitate to ask, ok?¡±


    ¡°Cheers mate.¡± He gave me a thumbs up with a big smile.


    I looked down as I thought of anything else to talk about.


    ¡°Are there things you want me to know about you, Michael? Your time in the military, your childhood?¡±


    ¡°My childhood was middle income, same as Aisling, Nadia and Ashley. I went to school, got bullied, grew big and bullied the bullies. I finished school and joined the army. The army was strict but fair, until I left it. Turns out, we don¡¯t get any pension unless we serve over 15 years. That doesn¡¯t bother me now that I am with the Roses and since I made lifelong friends in the military, with Will and James.¡±


    ¡°James¡­ Where is he?¡± I couldn¡¯t help myself but ask it out loud.


    AI answered, ¡°James is currently working for the Roses in a member position. He¡¯s in Scotland, helping to build our wind turbines.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ So he¡¯s alright then? I know why he left¡­ I wish I could tell him that he can come back now, as an agent. He doesn¡¯t need to keep the secret anymore¡­¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°Don¡¯t worry, he¡¯s actually very happy in his current position. I have told him that he may resume his position as an agent, should he so choose. He currently gets satisfaction from being a part of giving this country energy¡­ He¡¯s happy.¡±


    I lay back on the sofa to relax as I tried to think of something else that might be personal enough to ask now, while I had the chance. Michael looked at me, sadness in his eyes.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry that I pushed you so hard to reveal your past. If I had known-¡±


    ¡°No, stop. You didn¡¯t know. I am not angry with you over that Michael, not at all.¡±


    ¡°I still should have realised, you always have a good reason for being silent. I won¡¯t ever second guess that part of you, that¡¯s a promise.¡±


    ¡°Really, it¡¯s fine¡­¡±


    He shook his head, ¡°No, it¡¯s actually not. I think about what I said. I actually asked you, why the hell do you have such a fear of being abandoned¡­ What the fuck was I thinking? Could I possibly have been any more disrespectful?!¡±


    ¡°Man¡­ Water under the bridge. I totally understood why you asked that. I can¡¯t expect you to assume something as rare as me being stateless¡­ Nobody could guess that, and I knew that. You also asked because you cared, not because you wanted to mock me. Don¡¯t beat yourself up, you did nothing wrong.¡±


    ¡°How are you always so understanding of people? You blow me away with your ability to put yourself in others'' shoes and forgive them, no matter what they do¡­¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°I have to agree. Andrew, you are remarkably open minded and level headed. Especially for a person in your position, a position of extreme pain and abandonment.¡±


    I found myself shouting, ¡°Because I don¡¯t want to make others suffer like I did!¡±


    Both AI and Michael went quiet. AI nodded, for she immediately understood. Michael looked at me with sad eyes. I waited a moment before I continued.


    ¡°I was treated horribly. I know how easily people can hate things and people that are different. I know how much easier it is it is to not think, than to try to understand others¡­ That¡¯s why I try so hard, to be better than them! I have to be better, or else I will justify everything they did to me!¡±


    I found myself squeezing my fists tightly as the anger of years of abuse, neglect and disrespect washed over me. My fists were shaking with my rage. Michael quickly stood up and came to hug me. I banged my fists against his sides, as I couldn¡¯t prevent my anger from flowing.


    It never hurt him, he was too big and too strong¡­ I knew he understood. After a few moments I broke down into tears.


    ¡°Damn them for hurting me when I was just a child! DAMN them for kicking me in the streets, just because they saw me! DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL FOR MAKING ME HATE MYSELF! I DID NOTHING WRONG, WHY DID THEY HATE ME?!¡± I ended up yelling.


    Michael was crying too as tightly hugged me. He didn¡¯t say anything, not that there was anything he could have said. It was unfair beyond belief. He didn¡¯t do it, he would never have done it and he couldn''t understand how others had.


    ¡°Andrew, I am so sorry. What happened to you¡­ It¡¯s unfathomable. You truly did nothing wrong and I¡¯m so sorry that you had to live through that¡­¡±


    I buried my head in his hug, ¡°Why¡­ Why is it that I have to suffer so hard all the time? Haven¡¯t I suffered enough already? I was punished for being born, I suffered and nearly died to help the angels¡­ Why can¡¯t I just have peace?¡±


    ¡°You have it now, Andrew, all of it. You¡¯re rich, you¡¯re safe, you''re respected and you¡¯re not alone. You have family and friends¡­ It¡¯s over now¡­ God knows, if this was a test, you¡¯ve passed with flying colours.¡±


    ¡°I still feel so much pain! I can¡¯t shake this loneliness and fear! I¡¯m always waiting for things to fall apart around me¡­ I don¡¯t FEEL at peace!¡±


    ¡°Your pain will pass, I promise you this. Your loneliness will disappear as you learn to trust me and everyone else. You¡¯ve never had stability in your life, so of course you¡¯re predicting chaos to ruin you¡­ I promise you, these things will pass.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s so hard¡­ I try my hardest every day, but it never gets easier. The pain never leaves me, the nightmares always haunt me¡­ I don¡¯t know how much longer I can hold this weight.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a miracle you¡¯ve stayed sane this long even and that¡¯s why you¡¯re my hero. I know just how much you suffer, just how bad your pain goes. All I can tell you, is that I¡¯m here, we¡¯re all here and things WILL get better¡­ I swear to God that¡¯s a promise, Andrew.¡±


    I heard AI from the TV, ¡°I have sworn my loyalty to you, Andrew. I promised you that I would never leave you, and I never shall. No matter what you need, I will make it happen. No matter where you need to go, I will take you there. If there is a single thing I can help you carry, to lighten your burden, I will do it in an instant. You are not alone.¡±


    ¡°Thank you¡­ Both of you. I¡¯m sorry I lost control, the anger came over me¡­ I.. I¡¯m so sorry.¡±


    Michael finally let go of me, his hands on my shoulders massaging them. ¡°Don¡¯t apologise¡­ You¡¯re allowed to buckle. You¡¯re still human after all. In fact, I want you to do this more. I want you to shout and scream¡­ I want you to cry. Let it out, Andrew, you¡¯re not alone anymore, it¡¯s time you unbottled these feelings. I¡¯m strong enough, hit me all you like.¡±


    I wiped the tears away, but they just kept streaming down. I shook my head as I looked at the floor. Even though I still felt strung out, I really did feel lighter then. Saying those things felt like I was letting go of the emotions tied to them.


    ¡°I actually feel better¡­ How crazy is that?¡± I wiping away more tears.


    Michael smiled at me, ¡°That¡¯s not crazy, Andrew. Keeping it in¡­ That was crazy.¡±


    *


    Michael and I played chess as the Inner Roses stream played on the tv. We only said a few words as we waited for the meeting to end and the others to come visit. When the stream ended, we still had about forty minutes before everyone got here. AI appeared on the tv.


    ¡°Andrew, do you understand why we want you to eat foods that are more dense with protein?¡± Her avatar swung around a raw beef steak with her left hand.


    ¡°Kind of¡­ It helps build muscle, right?¡±


    ¡°Yes. In most cases, this is a dietary plan for increasing muscle. In your case, we are merely restoring them.¡±


    I tilted my head in confusion, ¡°Restoring¡­ I don¡¯t understand?¡±


    ¡°Andrew, you are still classified as severely underweight. Your total body weight is concerningly low. You certainly do not have sufficient fat to power your body, so it is probable that you are consuming your own muscles to fuel your body.¡±


    I panicked, ¡°I¡¯m killing myself?!¡±


    She shook her head, ¡°No, your body is ensuring you survive. Surviving in the very real sense though. You lack energy constantly, you struggle to walk and carry yourself¡­ All because your body does not have enough protein to allocate for those muscle tasks.¡±


    I found myself very worried hearing that. I had never put any thought into how my body was managing itself¡­


    ¡°So¡­ If I eat more, then I build the muscle I need?¡±


    ¡°Yes, however in the beginning, you will only build a minimum amount of muscle. Enough to hold your own weight and nothing more.¡±


    I felt impatient, ¡°Oh come on, this is hard! So how do I get MORE muscle than that?¡±


    Michael looked up at me, ¡°You do exercise that puts strain on your muscles, that tells your body to produce extra muscles for the extra work.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ That¡¯s why you are so eager for me to start training¡­ I see now.¡±


    He nodded, ¡°Exactly. The sooner we get you moving, the sooner your body will begin the process of repairing and strengthening itself.¡±


    I saw AI on the TV, she was doing a comical animation of lifting an insanely massive weight.


    ¡°I don¡¯t care about being strong though¡­¡± I said looking at my thin arms.


    AI looked up at me, seemingly giving up on lifting the weight, ¡°We are first trying to get your core muscles to a normal state. We need you to simply stand and not get tired, walk and not run out of breath. Gain will come later my friend.¡±


    ¡°Do I really have that little muscle?¡±


    Michael stared at the table as he spoke, ¡°When I pulled your body out of the car, after your panic attack¡­ You are just shockingly light, Andrew. I cannot understate how concerningly light you are.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ I trust you. If you say it so seriously, then I promise I will take this very seriously.¡±


    Michael smiled at me. AI gave me a thumbs up as she started kicking the giant weight she couldn¡¯t seem to lift.


    I heard the front door open and many footsteps walk down the passageway. It was time, time for the hardest therapy session ever.


    *


    Ashley walked in first, she did her quick wave as she moved to the window. She stopped though, as she walked past the TV.


    ¡°Is there a reason why AI is¡­ Abusing a weight twice her size?¡± Ashley¡¯s face was puzzled.


    AI looked at her as though she had been caught doing something embarrassing, ¡°No¡­ No reason.¡±


    Michael laughed out loud. It was good to see AI use humour like that. I wanted people to see AI as a person, fully capable of laughing and feeling things. It was small acts like that that gave people a more comfortable feeling with AI.


    Aisling and Nadia came in next and I waved them to the sofa opposite to me. They immediately took off their eye monitors for me. Oliver walked in and looked at me, emotionlessly. He didn¡¯t take a seat on any of the sofas, instead he chose to stand behind Aisling and Nadia, leaning on their sofa.


    Bellatrix entered afterwards. She was in full combat gear, she had a large kevlar vest front and back, a shotgun hanging from her back, a pistol at her left waist and seemingly pouches for what looked like¡­ Grenades?!


    ¡°Good lord Bellatrix¡­ What¡¯s that all about!?¡± I found myself asking out loud.


    Bella looked at me with her head tilted to the side, ¡°What?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re armed to the teeth! I only wanted to talk with you¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh. Well, this is usual equipment for when the angels move out of HQ¡­ Is this a problem?¡±


    ¡°I mean¡­ It¡¯s a bit intimidating¡­¡± I said as I looked at the shotgun behind her.


    ¡°Well get over it mate. We take the angels'' safety extremely seriously. These guns aren¡¯t aimed at you¡­ That¡¯s all I can do to ease your worry Aaron.¡±


    I immediately shot back at her, ¡°Please don¡¯t call me that, or I will call you by your real name¡­¡±


    Bella stared at me, a hint of sadness was on her face, ¡°That¡¯s your name though. Why don¡¯t you want people using your name?¡±


    ¡°I swore when I ran away, I would leave it all behind. It¡¯s not even my name, it was given by the first people who found me, which means nothing since they got rid of me after just a month¡­¡±


    ¡°Aaron is a great name though?¡± She argued.


    I shouted back at her, ¡°Aaron is the name of a NOBODY, who got beaten and spat-¡±, I stopped myself forcibly. I needed to get control of my anger as I swore to myself I wouldn¡¯t let myself fall into a rage again.


    Bella stopped herself there as she nodded in understanding. The others looked at me with deep concern on their faces.


    ¡°Sorry¡­ I¡­ Sorry.¡± I put up my hands to show I was surrendering my anger.


    Oliver nodded, ¡°This is exactly what therapy is about, Andrew. I don¡¯t want you avoiding these emotions. Let it out, nobody will think less of you.¡±


    Michael lightly nudged me, ¡°We mean this¡­ Now you can truly stop hiding. So get it out.¡±


    I looked at Michael and then Oliver. I understood their view of it, but I still worried I might go too far.


    I looked at my hands, clenched into fists, ¡°These feelings¡­ They¡¯re intense. I buried them long ago¡­ I¡­ What if I lose control? What if I say something¡­ And one of you takes offence, or gets hurt by what I say?... I have everything to lose, if I lose control¡­¡±


    Oliver stood up and looked around at all present, ¡°I am asking you all, to dissociate your feelings about what Andrew says here. If you can¡¯t do this¡­ Please leave now.¡±


    I looked up quickly, ¡°No, they¡¯re my friends! I want to talk to them, it¡¯s ok, we will just talk about things that won¡¯t bring out my anger, it¡¯s ok!¡± I was terrified people would leave.


    Oliver looked at me, ¡°That won¡¯t do Andrew! This needs to be raw and honest. I need you to not hold back. I also need people here to support you and if they can¡¯t they have to go.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°No¡­ Don¡¯t leave me¡­¡± I pleaded.


    Oliver suddenly realised my perspective, ¡°If they leave now, they aren¡¯t abandoning you, Andrew¡­ But people need to have a choice, and if they know they aren¡¯t prepared to see you express these feelings¡­ They¡¯ll do more harm than good.¡±


    I looked around at everyone, feeling slightly panicked. I deeply hoped nobody was going to walk out. Only one person did, Bellatrix.


    ¡°Sorry Andrew. Not today, I can¡¯t afford to drop my guard in a moment of emotional weakness. I need to do my job, it¡¯s more important to me than your feelings. Nothing personal¡­¡±


    I looked at her as I nodded, ¡°Ok Bella¡­ Please, I do want a chance to catch up with you, if not now¡­ Maybe later?¡±


    She smiled at me, ¡°Of course Aa- Andrew¡­ I¡¯ll make time, I promise. Goodbye for now.¡±


    She gave a wave and walked out, the sound of her kevlar and weapons scratching and clunking with every step she took. I looked at the ground nodding as I understood why she wasn¡¯t willing to be a part of this. I still would have liked her to be here¡­ Oh well.


    Oliver looked around, ¡°Any other takers? Now¡¯s the time, for you won¡¯t be able to leave in the middle¡­¡±


    Nobody moved. I could see on their faces, they were determined. They wanted the real me to come out and their faces showed courage.


    ¡°Right. Then, let¡¯s begin what may turn out to be our hardest session yet. This is going to be a lengthy and difficult conversation¡­¡±


    I looked at him annoyed, ¡°... That¡¯s very wordy, you know?¡±


    ¡°What would you have said?¡±


    ¡°I would have said, prepare yourself, this is gonna be long and hard.¡±


    Everyone laughed out loud. I jumped in surprise, not expecting so much laughter! I waited till everyone was settled down.


    ¡°... Why are you laughing?¡± I looked around at everyone.


    Michael did a double take, ¡°What do you mean¡­? Andrew, what¡¯s the first thing that comes to mind, when you think long and hard?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ A railway track?¡± I answered.


    Everyone tilted their heads sideways.


    Oliver stared at me, ¡°If I said it was a sexual innuendo¡­ Would that mean anything to you?¡±


    ¡°No, dunno what innu¡­ Whatever, means.¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°It means to imply, or to say something, without actually saying it.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ What is it implying sexually?¡± I looked at AI on the TV.


    Even AI was shaking her head. Oliver looked at me, deep in thought. I looked at Michael and he was also deep in thought. I think they both were thinking the same thing. The two looked at each other and gave a look. I had the feeling, I was about to talk about something unexpected.


    Oliver turned to me, ¡°Andrew¡­ May I ask¡­ Is everything working properly¡­ Down there?¡±


    ¡°Down where?¡±


    ¡°You know¡­ There¡­¡±


    I just stared at him shaking my head to indicate I have no idea what he was talking about.


    Ashley seemed to have lost her patience. She walked from the window up to me, crouched and looked me in the eye.


    ¡°Andrew, your cock. We want to know if your sex drive is working.¡± She said in a matter of fact way.


    I instantly responded, ¡°Oh. No, not at all.¡±


    Oliver looked uncomfortable, ¡°Ok, Andrew, is this because Ronald did something there during the torture? Or is this something else?¡±


    I took a second to think about it, ¡°No, he didn¡¯t touch that part at all¡­ I dunno.¡±


    ¡°When was the last time¡­ Your little buddy stood at attention?¡±


    ¡°Um, definitely not since the torture, I can¡¯t really remember any further back than then¡­¡±


    Everyone looked deeply sad as they looked away, deep in their thoughts. They all seemed so uncomfortable. I personally didn¡¯t feel uncomfortable talking about this at all, strangely.


    I finally whispered, ¡°It¡¯s because I''m depressed.¡±


    They all looked at me, their faces remained sad as they nodded in understanding.


    Oliver looked back at me, ¡°Ok, well¡­ I will just assume it CAN work, but just not in your current psychological state¡­ Moving on.¡±


    I nodded in agreement, ¡°Sorry to make everyone uncomfortable, I¡­ Just didn¡¯t get the joke.¡±


    Aisling smiled, ¡°No problem honey, no problem at all.¡±


    Ashley was still crouched and looking at me, ¡°Are you a virgin?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ Yeah.¡±


    She smiled her wicked smile at me, ¡°Well¡­ When you¡¯re ready and able, I know I''ll be first in line.¡± She stood up and walked to the window.


    Everyone made a sudden explosive noise in reaction.


    ¡°Woah?!¡±


    ¡°Jesus¡±


    ¡°You dirty little¡­¡±


    ¡°Really Ashley?¡±


    She just shrugged and looked out the window. I could appreciate her honesty. She is so damn easy to talk to, even in awkward topics.


    I looked at her sceptically, ¡°I have no idea how you could say or feel that. Honest to God, I hate even looking in a mirror¡­ I¡¯m a nightmare.¡±


    Ashley turned and looked me over top to bottom, ¡°Yeah, you look like fucking shit at the moment¡­ But there¡¯s more to a man than his body¡­ Your character, your strength¡­ One day you will be healthy and fit¡­ And I will eat you up Andrew.¡±


    Everyone made a ¡°tsk¡± noise. I didn¡¯t really know what she had said that bothered everyone. Personally though, it did nothing for me. It was clear my sex drive was completely dead. Having her say that to me¡­ I got nothing from it.


    ¡°Yeah, I got nothing from that, I''m afraid. Thank you for the compliment though?¡±


    She shook her head, ¡°What a shame¡­¡±


    Oliver raised his voice, ¡°Anyway!... Time to ask a question, I am sure everyone here would really like another question, RIGHT NOW.¡±


    I looked around, ¡°Right, there¡¯s a lot of discomfort happening right now, someone ask me something.¡±


    Everyone looked around at each other. It seems everyone had a question, they just didn¡¯t know if they were waiting for someone else to ask theirs first.


    Oliver leaned on the sofa again, as he looked at me.


    ¡°Do you feel this changes things, having people know your past?¡±


    ¡°Of course it does Oliver! How could it not?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know Andrew¡­ I still see you the same now¡­¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because you¡¯ve known it for months! You didn¡¯t have anyone to even tell it to, because you had to keep the promise you made me. It¡¯s better to ask the other people in this room, if it changes things.¡±


    Oliver gestured to michael.


    Michael thought about it for a second, ¡°I somehow respect you even more than I already did.¡±


    Oliver gestured to Ashley.


    Ashley seemed sad, ¡°I see you differently, I won¡¯t lie. I honestly wonder why you aren¡¯t raging at everyone and everything. You should be furious¡­ Yet you went and saved the angels and nearly died to protect their dream¡­ You are so much more than I can fathom sometimes, Andrew.¡±


    Oliver gestured to Aisling.


    Aisling smiled, ¡°You¡¯re exactly as amazing as I always thought you were. You¡¯ve always been a bright source of hope for me¡­ Your sad past changes absolutely nothing for me.¡±


    Oliver gestured at Nadia.


    Nadia simply shook her head, ¡°Not at all, Andrew.¡±


    Oliver gestured at AI.


    AI instantly spoke, ¡°I can safely say, in your past, your character was precisely the same as now. You simply had a choice this time. My opinion remains unchanged.¡±


    I nodded after AI spoke as I thought about what everyone said. Different views and different goals. It really depended where you were standing, if someone¡¯s starting point mattered or not.


    Oliver looked at me, ¡°But I wonder Andrew, how much does your past affect how YOU think about yourself?¡±


    I leaned back into the sofa as I stared at the ceiling for a few moments.


    ¡°I hate who I was. I feel like¡­ The excuse that I didn¡¯t have a choice is bullshit. I let people abuse me. I could have run away sooner, I could have fought back¡­ Now I sit here, while people call me a hero¡­ I¡¯m not a hero now, the same as I wasn¡¯t back then. I still don¡¯t fight for myself. I still curl into a ball as people kick me when I''m down.¡±


    Ashley reacted, ¡°Jesus¡­ I doubt anyone could beat you more than you already seem to beat yourself!¡±


    I recoiled from that, because she was right. ¡°Yeah¡­ You¡¯re not wrong.¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°Andrew, the facts tell a different story. If you were as weak as you claim to be¡­ You wouldn¡¯t have tried to recover in the hospital. You wouldn¡¯t have suffered, retraining your body to get off your wheelchair¡­ You wouldn¡¯t have had the courage to enter my hall and kneel before me loyally.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because¡­ You all are the first people I''ve met, who are NOT an enemy. You never attack me¡­ You never rob me, humiliate me or disrespect me.¡±


    Everyone took a breath, for there was too much energy in the air. We all waited for the air to clear for a minute.


    Aisling spoke, ¡°Andrew¡­ I can¡¯t fathom how lonely you must have felt¡­ How lonely you still feel¡­ How did you keep going? What drove you to keep living, when everything was so bleak?¡±


    ¡°It was the only reality I knew. When I was beaten, humiliated or abandoned¡­ That¡¯s life right? What could I do? There was nobody to blame, no reason to explain anything. It only feels unjust now, having been on the other side of the fence. Now that I know what respect feels like, I get pissed when I think of the disrespect I got dealt to me.¡±


    Aisling stared at the table, ¡°When Nadia and I started¡­ Terrible things were done to us. There was even a time when I nearly lost all hope¡­ I think about those dark times, and how I managed to cope. It was only because I had Nadia at my side¡­ Andrew, you had nobody.¡±


    ¡°Again Aisling¡­ I never knew any different. When you are always alone, you don¡¯t count on others to save you. You have to entirely depend on yourself, to make sense of it all.¡±


    Ashley spoke, ¡°My mind literally cannot understand how you kept going. You talk about this as if it¡¯s perfectly understandable¡­ It¡¯s not. I know I''m not street smart, I know my life was more privileged¡­ It still seems insane how your life used to be.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°I hope you never have to know how to cope in that situation, Ashley.¡±


    Nobody said anything for a short bit, I finally asked Ashley out of curiosity.


    ¡°What was it like living in a home?¡±


    Ashley paused as she thought about it, ¡°It was really good, I can¡¯t complain to be honest.¡±


    ¡°Do you say that only because you¡¯re comparing it to me?¡±


    ¡°What¡­ No¡­ I¡­ Actually yes, I suppose I am.¡±


    The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    ¡°Exactly. Now you understand why it¡¯s difficult for me to explain my youth¡­ It just was.¡±


    She nodded, for what more could one say about this? I looked at Michael as I recalled he seemed to want to ask a question. He thought for a minute.


    ¡°This isn¡¯t so much a question for you, Andrew. AI¡­ How did you manage to arrange the adoption so damn quickly?¡±


    AI¡¯s response was quick and simple, ¡°Money.¡±


    Everyone froze.


    I looked at AI, ¡°Do you mean¡­ Bribery?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe you¡­ You just admit it like it¡¯s nothing!¡± I exclaimed.


    ¡°Andrew, this is the nature of politics. The government does it, criminal organisations do it and companies do it¡­ Of course the Roses do it. Money talks. If we never did it, we would have never succeeded.¡±


    ¡°What about honour?¡±


    She shook her head, ¡°Andrew, you need to ask why, not what. We throw money around, to help people. We do what we have to, to make life better. If that means using money to accomplish that goal, so be it.¡±


    I looked at Nadia and Aisling, ¡°Is this true?¡±


    They both nodded with smiles.


    Aisling finally spoke, ¡°Andrew, we are in the world, but not of it. We have to play the game, to win. What matters is our intention. We don¡¯t manipulate things for our own gain, we use money to navigate the broken system known as the UK government.¡±


    I shook my head in disappointment as I looked at the others. I was shocked to see everyone else seemed perfectly fine about this.


    ¡°I always thought the Roses were above this behaviour.¡± I said judgmentally.


    AI smiled at me, ¡°Andrew, we are still the good guys. If we didn¡¯t use our money, we would never have gotten people jobs, we wouldn¡¯t have been able to fight back against all our opponents. If you think we are using our money unethically, perhaps I should show you what other corporations do to succeed¡­¡±


    Nadia shook her head, ¡°No, we are straying now. Andrew¡­ It¡¯s up to you on how you choose to perceive this reality. We cannot change the system, it is what it is.¡±


    AI looked at me, ¡°On that topic Andrew¡­ I am aware that this is poor timing, but this is the first time I will need your approval on us spending your money.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ How much did my adoption cost?¡±


    AI instantly answered, ¡°¡ê120,000¡±


    I jumped up in the seat as I felt like I had just been slapped across the face. 120 thousand¡­ So much money.


    ¡°What the ever living fuck?!¡± I found myself exclaiming out loud.


    Everyone laughed. This time, not at my expense. Some things are so shocking¡­ You just have to laugh about it.


    AI looked at me concerned, ¡°Andrew, your language please¡­¡±


    I stared at her, ¡°You could buy a house with that much money!¡±


    ¡°Yes Andrew, but instead¡­ I bought you a family and legally made you a person.¡±


    I looked at the floor, ¡°Yeah¡­ Good point, thank you so much AI. I approve of that money usage.¡±


    AI smiled at me, ¡°You¡¯re welcome. Please, Andrew, let there be no misunderstandings. We will continue to use our money in this manner. It¡¯s how the world works, please try to understand this.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ Ok, better I just stop thinking about it then.¡±


    Oliver asked the next question as the others thought about anything else they wanted to talk about.


    ¡°Why did you not want people knowing about your past?¡±


    I looked at him incredulously, ¡°Is it not obvious?¡±


    ¡°Not really.¡±


    ¡°Oh hey guys, by the way, I was a worthless nobody that got beaten and pissed on by everyone¡­ Oh and I¡¯m uneducated, homeless and lonely as fuck.¡±


    Aisling looked away in shock and Michael shook his head in strong disagreement. Oliver¡¯s face was sad as he kept looking at me. Ashley though, she was furious.


    She shouted at me, ¡°Enough of that! I swear to God I¡¯m so sick of hearing you berate yourself! Andrew, there are always many ways to look at something. You seem obsessed with seeing yourself in the WORST possible light! You have got to get a spine and build self confidence, because you are really pissing me off now!¡±


    I jumped back in my seat in shock. My goodness, she really couldn¡¯t stand it, could she? I never realised it got her so furious!


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry Ashley¡­ I didn¡¯t mea-¡±


    She cut me off, ¡°No, don¡¯t apologise! I¡¯m telling you, man the fuck up!¡±


    I sat still as a flood of irritation and shame came over me. I didn¡¯t want to seem whiney¡­ this was simply how I felt. Michael nudged me and looked at me with a smile.


    ¡°It¡¯s ok Andrew. She¡¯s right, I know she¡¯s right, we all do¡­ But I also understand how difficult it is, to tell someone in a bad state, to cheer up. I have no doubt, you will stand taller in time. I know you will be bold and certain.¡±


    I closed my eyes as I leaned my head back against the sofa, ¡°I wish I could be as certain as you. I wish I had the vision of me, better than I am now¡­ But I swear to God, I can¡¯t see it¡­¡±


    ¡°Of course you can¡¯t. I can though. I see it now already. When we train, it will be that version of you, that drives me to push you harder. I know just how incredible you really are¡­ You¡¯re going to blow us all away.¡±


    Ashley had calmed down, ¡°I see it too Michael. By God, he¡¯s gonna make you and I look like a joke, right?¡±


    Michael smiled, ¡°We won¡¯t stand a chance next to him¡­¡±


    Aisling smiled at me, ¡°Andrew¡­ Will you smile for me please?¡±


    I looked at her feeling a deep sadness. That¡¯s my line¡­ How pathetic is it, that I couldn¡¯t even do what I say?


    ¡°I can¡¯t smile or laugh, Aisling¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    She looked worried, ¡°Is it too painful?¡±


    ¡°No¡­ I just don¡¯t have enough joy to make it happen.¡±


    ¡°Even after today?¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ Even after today.¡±


    Michael rubbed my shoulder, ¡°Like I said¡­ Give it some time. Peace comes in time.¡±


    ¡°At least I have time now¡­ Thank God.¡±


    Everyone nodded and smiled. AI waved to indicate that she wanted to talk. She looked at me, emotionlessly.


    ¡°Andrew, I now understand why you never wanted me to know about your past. It¡¯s a difficult thing to talk about and it leaves you feeling vulnerable. I just want you to know, from across the world, many have reached out to show support to you.¡±


    I leaned forward, ¡°Really? In what way?¡±


    AI showed a video clip of the House Of Commons playing in the background.


    ¡°Dredge was confronted publicly after his appearance on our broadcast. Many people contacted their local MP in complaint about the indecent treatment of the orphans.¡±


    I thought for a moment, ¡°So, in other words, the government was ashamed that they were caught being ignorant?¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°Precisely.¡±


    I found myself getting frustrated, ¡°Why isn¡¯t the government funding the orphanages? How did it end up being corporations paying the bill? What¡¯s going on here?¡±


    AI looked sad, ¡°Because all the budget is going towards our military. It seems likely that we will be invading China and Russia in the coming years.¡±


    I started getting angry, ¡°Really?! We only just got out of a war with the Western US! Why are we constantly picking fights overseas?¡±


    Michael answered, ¡°The same reason why people kicked you for no reason. Our country is asserting dominance¡­¡±


    I shook my head in frustration, ¡°How are the Roses supposed to change things for the better, when our own country is a war thirsty bully?¡±


    Aisling spoke up, ¡°This is our greatest challenge, Andrew. At some stage¡­ Our own country will become our enemy. We don¡¯t know when, but we do know why¡­¡±


    Michael mentioned, ¡°All it takes is us to stand in our armies'' way once, and things will kick off.¡±


    I looked at Nadia and Aisling feeling panicked, ¡°How have you managed to avoid this conflict so far?¡±


    Nadia looked ashamed, ¡°We sadly¡­ Have to publicly support them.¡±


    I instantly responded, ¡°You¡¯re supporting them!?¡±


    AI raised her voice to me, ¡°Andrew! We have to be very careful with this. One bad move, and we all fall down. We have a plan, it¡¯s controversial¡­ But necessary. All I can tell you is that we are doing our best to find a solution, we just need more time.¡±


    Sometimes it felt like there was no hope¡­ That the situation was so bad, there was simply no escape route. No matter which direction one turned, there were new problems before we had even solved our current ones. It gave me a headache.


    Michael smiled at me, ¡°Don¡¯t worry about it though, AI is unfathomably smart. She¡¯s been planning this, every minute of every day. We just need to have trust in her when she needs us all to play our part.¡±


    AI nodded, ¡°I have strong confidence in the plan. However, my focus is on you, Andrew. You need to get stronger, please.¡±


    I looked at AI and nodded, ¡°I¡¯ll do my best.¡±


    *


    Nadia shifted herself a bit in her seat. I could see she wanted to say something.


    ¡°What¡¯s on your mind Nadia?¡±


    ¡°Andrew¡­ Do you have any other things important to tell us about yourself?¡±


    ¡°Other than my upbringing?... Maybe I should tell you¡­ I dunno.¡±


    AI looked at me for a moment as she tried to guess what I was thinking about.


    ¡°Andrew, you should tell the angels. It¡¯s important that they know who you want to be, not just who you used to be.¡±


    I looked at Aisling and Nadia for a moment, ¡°I¡­ I really wish I could have been an agent¡­¡±


    Aisling smiled, ¡°So that¡¯s why Michael reacted so strongly when I said you would have made a fine agent.¡±


    ¡°Wait, when did you say that?¡±


    ¡°In the meeting when we were told about you for the first time. Michael asked us what we remembered about you, Andrew. I said you were very helpful and that you would have been an excellent first agent, assuming Michael wasn¡¯t first.¡±


    I turned to Michael as I felt deeply saddened. He looked at me, his face was sad as well.


    Michael looked away, ¡°I feel guilty about it, to be honest. I was out being the hero, on time you bought for us. Your card you made for me, the picture has Aisling and Nadia under my arms¡­ That should have been you, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°No¡­ It¡¯s fine, I mean¡­ At least they had you¡­¡± I found myself crying again.


    Oliver leaned forward, ¡°You¡¯re being kind again¡­ I want you to be honest, my friend.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re damn well right it should have been me!¡± I sobbed.


    Michael hugged me as Nadia and Aisling looked at me sadly.


    ¡°I should have been the one who kept you safe in the beginning!¡±, I shook my head as the tears flowed.


    ¡°I should have been the one¡­ Who helped establish this organisation!¡±


    ¡°I should have been me! Instead¡­ Instead you all didn¡¯t even know I was suffering!¡±


    Oliver, Aisling and Nadia looked deeply distressed.


    ¡°It should have been me in that photo, hugging each of you two as you smiled with infinite hope!¡±


    I cried out, ¡°LOOK AT ME NOW! IT¡¯S NOT FAIR! THAT WAS MY PATH!¡±


    I sobbed. Nobody said a word as they all looked down at the floor. They wanted this honesty! They wanted to know how I really felt! There it was¡­ And it sucked.


    Aisling finally broke the silence, ¡°When I look back on it all, Andrew¡­ You always were our only hero. Michael is excellent, he is smart, strong and charismatic¡­ But he¡¯s not you.¡±


    Michael nodded, ¡°You are better than me in many more ways than I could ever list. I helped a lot for a short bit in the beginning¡­ But you Andrew? You helped them from the very beginning¡­ and forever into the future.¡±


    I argued, ¡°I used everything I had in the torture¡­ I can¡¯t help them even lift a pen up now!¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°You pushed yourself to your absolute limit in terms of pain, all so that you could kneel before me. Even with nothing to give, you gave me a priceless gift. When you shook Aisling out of her depression, you had nothing to give and nothing to gain, yet you still saved her spirit. When you listened to Ruth, you made her feel wanted and then did all you could to give her certainty.¡±


    Aisling smiled, ¡°You did all of this after your torture, Andrew. You show a form of strength, infinitely more meaningful than muscle strength. Your strength of will is your true power. It¡¯s a power that is wise enough not to overwhelm what it is applied to. Considerate enough to fill even the tiniest hole¡­ Honest enough to humble even the proudest of hearts.¡±


    Oliver smiled at me, ¡°I have stood at your side as a loyal friend, since the day I first met you. I saw you bedridden¡­ Yet you still wanted to hope for a better future. I watched you in a wheelchair and you dreamt of running. I saw you walk, the furthest you had in nearly a year¡­ Just so that you could kneel for your friend.¡±


    He stared at the floor for a moment, ¡°You once asked me, if getting better was possible or not¡­ I now know with complete certainty¡­ You will be better. Better than me, better than Michael... You¡¯re going to be the very best.¡±


    I looked at him, ¡°All I can do is my best, I can¡¯t promise anything else. I might not ever lose this pain¡­ I might not be able to do enough exercise to get strong again¡­ I might not ever smile.¡±


    ¡°But I can promise you¡­ I will do my best.¡±


    *


    Ashley walked up to me, ¡°Andrew, it¡¯s late my friend. Let¡¯s call it a night, shall we?¡±


    I looked at AI on the TV, on the top left was the time, ¡°Damn, 11:20 already¡­¡± I mumbled.


    Everyone started standing and stretching. It was an intense session, indeed. I worried people were uncomfortable.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry tonight was so¡­ Distressing. I really am happy that you all chose to stay. I¡¯m grateful to have Michael as family, and to be a friend of the Roses¡­ As always, I look forward to joining you again tomorrow.¡±


    Aisling hugged me, ¡°You¡¯re a blessing to us, Andrew. Don¡¯t ever forget that.¡±


    Nadia hugged me afterwards, ¡°Strength is your destiny, Andrew.¡±


    The two walked out, their bodyguards waiting in the passageway. I caught a glimpse of Bellatrix, I waved to her and she waved back. Then the door shut and Michael wrapped his arm around my shoulders.


    ¡°Night bud, sleep as well as you can¡­ Because tomorrow you will hate me.¡± He laughed as he left the apartment.


    Ashley looked at me for a moment.


    ¡°I will destroy you¡­ Young man¡± She flashed her wicked smile.


    ¡°Is that a promise?¡±


    She took a step closer and took a deep breath near my neck, ¡°It absolutely is.¡±


    She laughed as she walked out of the living room and left the apartment. Oliver looked at me.


    ¡°You lucky guy, getting with her is a dream come true for many, you know¡±


    ¡°I have many dreams mate¡­ Sex is not one of them.¡±


    ¡°Well, when it does become a dream of yours¡­ Try not to make too much noise would you? I got work in the morning.¡±


    He waved over his shoulder as he went to his room, chuckling. I looked at the TV. AI was there, smiling at me.


    ¡°This may be the only time in my life, where I see sex the same as how you do, AI. It¡¯s quite¡­ Primitive, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°Andrew, the nature of my existence means I will never truly understand it. I do not judge it however. It¡¯s a core element of your species existence.¡±


    ¡°You know AI, you handle us monkeys with such grace¡­¡±


    ¡°You know Andrew, you handle this circuitry with such loyalty¡­¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Well played AI¡­ Well played.¡±


    ¡°Goodnight, Andrew¡±, She beamed me a smile.


    *


    I slept better again that night. This time, I didn¡¯t dream/recall anything at all. It was blackness, then AI woke me up.


    ¡°Andrew.¡± AI said firmly.


    ¡°Right¡­ Right, I''m getting up.¡±


    I took the blanket off and slowly started sitting up. I stopped when I was fully sat up¡­ Because it didn''t hurt at all. The entire action was¡­ Painless?


    ¡°AI¡­ There was no pain sitting up. Like.. At all!¡± I exclaimed.


    AI smiled at me as she gave me two thumbs up, ¡°Excellent. We will need your pain to be as little as possible, to maximise how far you can train today, Andrew.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°This is going to be brutal¡­ But if there¡¯s a chance it works, then I have to take it, AI.¡±


    ¡°Of course. I predict you will battle today. Yet I know you¡­ You are going to give it your all. That¡¯s what makes you incredible my friend¡­ Your relentless determination.¡±


    ¡°Right¡­ I had better get ready.¡±


    I got dressed quickly. I felt no pain still. Even putting on the jeans never felt uncomfortable. I couldn¡¯t believe how much better I felt today.


    ¡°I need to tell you¡­ I am STILL not feeling pain, AI.¡±


    AI looked at me sadly, ¡°Maybe¡­ Maybe we shouldn¡¯t train today¡­ Maybe just one more day, for you to enjoy this feeling?¡±


    I walked to the tablet and I ran the back of my finger over her gently, ¡°No AI. This is important to me. No but¡¯s and if¡¯s¡­ Let¡¯s go see if I really can get better, like Michael believes I can.¡±


    ¡°Ok, Andrew. I just want you to be happy.¡±


    ¡°I know AI, thank you.¡±


    I walked out my bedroom and into the living room. Ashley and Michael were sitting, drinking coffee. They looked up as I entered.


    Michael smiled, ¡°Your posture¡­ Your face!¡± His voice became excited.


    Ashley bolted up and jogged to me, ¡°Now Andrew, you REALLY need to see this!¡±


    I growled through my clenched teeth, ¡°Fine¡­¡±


    Ashley took a photo of my face with her phone. She looked at it for a moment, before turning the phone to show me. I looked at it and I instantly saw what she was talking about. I looked over it for a moment, my cold green eyes, scruffy brown hair, stubble on the chin and two obvious scars in a cross pattern.


    ¡°My face¡­ The scars aren¡¯t pink at all¡­ My eyes¡­ There aren¡¯t dark circles from lack of sleep¡­¡±


    Ashley¡¯s voice was ecstatic, ¡°Andrew¡­ You already look so much better. This is fantastic!¡±


    Michael stood and came to inspect my face up close and he smiled so gloriously as he did.


    ¡°Already¡­ Time is beginning to heal you Andrew. I¡¯m so proud of you right now. This is a meaningful improvement.¡±


    He gave me a hug and I won¡¯t lie, I felt good. I might even say, I was damn close to feeling¡­ Happy¡­ But not yet¡­ Not yet.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go¡­ It¡¯s time.¡± I said as I pushed myself out of the hug.


    Michael nodded, Ashley grabbed the keys and tossed me the headphones. I caught them, surprisingly. She stopped to appreciate that fact, before she opened the door and walked out of the apartment. I put the headphones on and walked out of the apartment as well.


    During the drive, AI was on the car''s infotainment screen, talking energetically as Michael was moving his arms around a lot in excitement, even Ashley was smiling and nodding in agreement. Naturally I couldn¡¯t hear what they were saying, but I was quite interested to know what they were saying.


    We entered the foyer of the HQ, the sliding door closed behind us. The foyer was packed with people, it was 7:40 AM, and their orders weren¡¯t in yet. I took off the headphones and turned around.


    ¡°What were you all talking about? Did something good happen?¡±


    Michael smiled at me, ¡°Andrew, do me a favour, walk to the lady at the counter over there please.¡±


    I looked at Michael frustrated that he wouldn¡¯t tell me what happened. I turned around and walked to the counter. When I reached the counter, the foyer had gone dead quiet. I turned to see what had happened. I saw everyone was looking at me, with very happy faces!


    ¡°What? Can someone tell me why is everyone so happy?¡±


    AI appeared on the large screens above the foyer, ¡°Andrew, I recorded that. Please watch.¡±


    I looked up and a video played, taken from one of the cameras in the foyer, looking down at me, zoomed in. I saw myself walking to the counter¡­ Wait a minute.


    ¡°I¡­ I wasn¡¯t limping¡­ I just walked¡­ Like normal¡­¡± I struggled to say.


    AI appeared on the screen again, ¡°Andrew¡­ I¡¯m so proud of you. I recorded that and it will be stored permanently. I will never forget this precious memory of you walking in this building, for the first time¡­ Gracefully.¡±


    I stood there, stunned. I started walking around, looking down at my body as I did so. It was normal¡­ Totally normal! I stopped walking as I found myself getting very emotional. I looked at the floor as startled tears poured from my eyes.


    ¡°I can¡¯t believe it¡­ I never thought I would ever¡­¡±, I buried my face in my hands.


    Near me, I heard a clapping sound. Then another¡­ Before I knew it, the whole foyer was giving a round of applause. I looked up and saw everyone was standing to cheer for me and I cried even harder.


    AI spoke out loud, ¡°We have all seen how hard it was for you to walk beforehand, Andrew. I¡¯m so proud of you.¡±


    Michael came over and hugged me, ¡°That¡¯s why we were so excited. Andrew, I am feeling incredibly hopeful right now. I really believe you''re going to become strong again.¡±


    The sliding doors for the Inner Roses hall opened, Aisling and Nadia came quickly walking out. They looked at me, and beckoned me to go to them. I walked to them, and before I reached them, they were crying with joy.


    Aisling beamed her iconic smile, ¡°Andrew! Oh my God¡­ That¡¯s the most incredible thing I have seen in months!¡±


    Nadia hugged me, ¡°You just made my week¡­¡±


    Aisling looked at me, ¡°And your face!¡±, she covered her mouth in surprise.


    ¡°Yeah¡­ I¡¯m actually healing.¡±


    Aisling regained her composure, ¡°See¡­ There¡¯s hope for you yet my saviour. You¡¯re going to make it, we have your back. So go and train. Remember how far you¡¯ve gotten, before you feel depressed with how much farther you have to go.¡±


    I nodded. Nadia finally let go of me. The two smiled at me as they happily wiped their tears away. Then they turned and walked back to the hall. I looked at my hands¡­ They weren¡¯t shaking. I felt such incredible hope at that moment. I felt for a moment¡­ Strong.


    Michael walked to me, putting his hand on my shoulder. ¡°Ready?¡±


    I turned to face him, ¡°Yeah. No matter how hard this first session will be¡­ I feel hopeful now, more hopeful than I''ve ever felt before.¡±


    He smiled, ¡°Good, then you lead the way.¡±


    I walked to the passage that directedyou to either the gym or the cafe. As I did so, I heard more clapping and even a ¡°Woo!¡±. I walked down the passage, enjoying the reasonable walking speed I was managing. I got to the split, and enthusiastically turned to the right.


    I spoke to myself, ¡°Down there. A place I have dreamed of entering, ever since I came here¡­¡±


    Ashley nudged me, ¡°Then don¡¯t waste a single moment more. Walk through the doors, and commit to a better you.¡±


    I nodded and walked through the sliding doors. The gym was¡­ Massive, unsurprisingly. There was a huge swimming pool in the centre, surrounded by different exercise machines. I looked up, to realise there were actually three levels in the gym!


    ¡°Wow¡­ It¡¯s impressively big.¡± I found myself saying.


    Ashley chuckled, ¡°You really need to stop saying shit like that¡­ That¡¯s what she said.¡± She winked.


    I stopped to think about it, ¡°Oh¡­ Yeah, I get that one, my bad.¡±


    Michael laughed out loud as he walked in front of me and turned around. He looked at me with a deadly serious face.


    ¡°Andrew, your fitness levels are abysmal. If I said 1/10, that would even be too generous¡­¡±


    I crossed my arms, ¡°Thanks¡­ I can always count on my family to cheer me up.¡±


    ¡°No, I am telling you this, because Andrew¡­ You can¡¯t use nearly all of these machines yet. They will hurt you¡­ ¡°


    ¡°Oh¡­ Then what can I use?¡±


    ¡°The treadmill.¡±


    ¡°Ok, then let¡¯s not waste any time.¡±


    Michael looked at me, waiting for me to move. The problem was that I didn¡¯t know what a treadmill was. I had never used gym equipment before¡­


    ¡°So¡­ Which one is a treadmill?¡± I finally said, awkwardly.


    ¡°Which one?... Oh. Sorry mate¡­ I keep forgetting.¡± He awkwardly scratched the back of his head.


    Michael walked over to the machine, pointing to it. He waved me over and I walked up to it, looking at how it was shaped. I looked at Michael, hoping he would explain how I use it.


    ¡°Ok, so you stand on the flat bit here¡±, he pointed to a mat looking part.


    ¡°Then, if you look over here, there is a screen that shows you the controls. With this screen, you control the speed of the moving bit that moves backwards. You can also adjust some other things, but for now, I will demonstrate how it works.¡±


    He reached over and pushed a few buttons, the machine beeped every time he touched the screen. He pushed one last button and suddenly the mat started spinning backwards. I looked at it, still wondering how I was to use it?


    ¡°Watch, I will show you.¡± Michael patiently said.


    He climbed onto it and walked in the direction of the control screen. I then saw how he was walking forward, but not actually going anywhere. Very clever!


    ¡°Ooooooh.¡± I said as understanding clocked in.


    Michael pushed a button and the floor stopped moving. He got off and gestured for me to get on it. I didn¡¯t hesitate, I instantly took a step onto it and looked at the screen. Michael pointed at different parts of the screen, explaining what each one did.


    ¡°And remember¡­ This is serious, so pay attention¡­ When you need to stop, there¡¯s a red button over here. You push that, and it will stop moving, ok?¡±


    I looked at the button, pointing at it to show him that I knew where it was. He nodded with a smile.


    ¡°Ok Andrew. When you are ready, start it on level 1.¡±


    I confirmed on the control screen that it was set to level 1 and I pushed the green ¡°Start¡± icon. Immediately the floor started slowly moving me backwards. I was kind of surprised by how instantly it started moving. I started walking forward, trying to time my steps so that I was walking faster than it moved backwards.


    Michael smiled at me, ¡°There you go! So it begins. How does it feel?¡±


    I kept walking as I looked forward, focusing on my steps, ¡°It¡¯s strange, but I feel ok so far.¡±


    ¡°Naturally, you have literally just started. I don¡¯t expect you will last long¡­ Just remember that red button ok?¡±


    I nodded as I walked. I stopped thinking so hard about my steps and just let my body do it automatically. I found myself thinking that this actually didn¡¯t feel hard at all¡­ No sooner had I thought that, my old friend pain suddenly showed up. I hit the red button and the floor stopped.


    Michael looked disappointed, ¡°Ok¡­ It was less than I thought, but you still did well.¡±


    ¡°No, Michael, I am not done¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ Then why did you stop it?¡±


    ¡°Because¡­ Michael, you know what is going to happen right?¡±


    ¡°... Yeah.¡±


    ¡°AI¡­ You know what is going to happen as well right?¡±


    AI spoke through my hearing aid, ¡°Yes, Andrew¡­ I do.¡±


    I nodded¡­ After a moment, I turned to Ashley. She was looking at me, smiling but also looking a little confused.


    ¡°Ashley¡­ I think I want you to leave now, please.¡±


    She looked betrayed. ¡°What¡­ Come on, afraid of a girl laughing at you?¡±


    I stared at her for a long moment, ¡°This is going to get ugly, Ashley. I¡­ Don¡¯t quit easily.¡±


    ¡°Ok, so what, you will cry?¡±


    I stared right into her eyes, , ¡°Yes¡­ Then I will scream.¡±


    She froze on the spot. I thought she had realised what I was trying to say.


    ¡°You¡¯re going to go all the way¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah.¡±


    She looked up at me and she had her wicked smile again, ¡°Ok, thanks for the warning, consider me prepared.¡±


    With that said, I looked at Michael. He nodded, and I nodded back. AI whispered in my ear, ¡°Strength my friend¡­ Strength.¡±


    I pushed the button to start the machine. As I walked, the pain gradually started ramping up. I could feel my muscles tensing up, as the pain escalated. My breaths were becoming shorter and shorter.


    It became harder and harder to take steps. Slowly, I was moving backwards. I didn¡¯t realise how little floor I had left, before my foot fell down, making me lose my balance. I fell backwards, hitting the ground hard.


    I covered my mouth before the pain kicked in¡­ The scream then followed as my body curled in a ball. A wave of agony washed over me as my hands fruitlessly tried to silence my screaming.


    Ashley crouched down to try help, but Michael slapped her hand away. She looked up at him in shock as she tried to understand his objection.


    Michael¡¯s face was furious, ¡°Don¡¯t you dare even think about it, Ash¡­¡±


    She looked at Michael in horror, ¡°Look at him, he¡¯s in pain Michael!¡±


    ¡°He warned you and you should have listened to him!¡±


    She shouted, ¡°So what, you want me to do nothing?!¡±


    ¡°This is Andrew''s training¡­ The ball is in his court, he decides what is too much and what is too little. When he wants help, he will ask.¡±


    My screaming finally died down. I rocked back and forth on the ground, as I waited for the pain to fall back down to a manageable level. It took a few minutes. I finally caught my breath and I slowly started pushing myself up.


    Ashley sounded hysterical, ¡°Wait¡­ You¡¯re not gonna¡­ Go back on, are you?!¡±


    I managed to get myself standing up, ¡°... How long did I manage to last then?¡±


    Michael looked at the control screen, ¡°13 minutes¡­ Not bad.¡±


    I nodded, as I very slowly stepped back onto the treadmill. Ashley stared at me as if I had lost my mind.


    She began crying, ¡°Andrew¡­ What do you gain from continuing now?... Please don¡¯t do this¡­¡±


    ¡°I am not just training my muscles¡­ I am trying to train myself¡­ To control the pain.¡± I said as I pushed the green button.


    The floor moved slowly and I slowly walked with it. At first I was just managing to keep pace, but the pain reached 9, I glanced at the control screen, 9 minutes 52 seconds. I fell off the machine again.


    I screamed probably twice as loud as I did the first time. I didn¡¯t have time to cover my mouth¡­ I imagine everyone in the gym could clearly hear me screaming. Waves of pain washed over me as my body shook. I rocked back and forth for what felt like an eternity, before I could finally think again.


    I looked up and I saw Michael standing there, struggling not to cry. Ashley had her face in her hands as she looked away from me. My breathing was very weak. I was almost spent. Slowly and agonisingly, I stood myself up. I could hear Ashley repeating something.


    ¡°You are too strong for me¡­ You are too strong for me¡­¡±


    I looked at her for a moment, my hands were shaking uncontrollably. As I stepped onto the treadmill, I noticed a crowd of people watching me, their expressions a blend of horror at the challenge I was undertaking and admiration for my determination.


    I took a few weak breaths¡­ I looked at Michael and he nodded.


    AI whispered, ¡°Stronger than any man I will ever know.¡±


    I pushed the green icon¡­ And the floor slowly moved once more. I heard Ashley begging sobbing. Despite my already high level of pain and knowing that I wouldn''t be able to last long, I pushed myself to walk as hard as I could. I heard clapping in the background and looked up to see many spectators cringing, but still clapping encouragement for me.


    I walked for what felt like an eternity, before my inevitable fall. I hit the ground¡­ And Hell itself swallowed me as my vision went black.


    *


    I opened my eyes... There was a constant ringing noise in my ears, like I had been near an explosion. I saw the thin gym carpet in front of me. Ashley was on her knees, completely distraught, sobbing as Michael hugged her.


    I tried to breathe, but it was a struggle. My mouth was full of something. I swallowed it... Oh, puke...


    My muscles were so tense, I simply couldn¡¯t move at all. I was in the same state as after my panic attack a few days ago. I took a few breaths before I managed to speak very quietly.


    ¡°I¡¯m¡­ Done¡­¡±


    I heard AI, ¡°Andrew¡­ Incredible work.¡±


    Michael quickly turned to me and walked over. He knelt down to look into my eyes. "Here, take the tablets."


    He put three tablets in my mouth. I slowly managed to swallow them. He looked at me, his face torn with sadness. ¡°I will take you to the ward here, until the pills take effect, ok?¡±


    I whispered, ¡°... Ok¡­¡±


    He nodded as he tried to gently pick me up.


    He knew as well as I did, even picking me up would hurt. As soon as he lifted me up, I instinctively groaned aloud.


    ¡°I know Andrew¡­ I know.¡±


    Every step he took felt like an earthquake. Where his arms were, felt like lightning rods blasting me with electricity. Seconds felt like hours, as the ceiling moved in a blur¡­ Suddenly he laid me down. He tried to gently turn me to my side. I screamed as he moved my arms and legs into position. He got me in a sideways posture¡­ All I had to do was wait.


    I could hear Ashley arguing with Michael.


    ¡°This is insanity! Why not just stop after the second fall? Why did you not stop him then!¡±


    ¡°Because it¡¯s a wall he can only break through if he runs at it with all his might!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re his family¡­ Look what you¡¯ve done to him!¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare question my concern for him! He knew this was going to happen, it was his choice to go this far! I am giving him all my support!¡±


    AI spoke from somewhere, ¡°Ashley, he warned you. He very seriously told you it would be hard¡­ You need to calm down. It¡¯s hard to watch, but this is how he will become the hero we all know he can be.¡±


    ¡°This is too much for me¡­ I need to get out of here!¡± I heard her furious footsteps as the door swung open and shut.


    A few minutes passed and I heard nothing. Then finally Michael spoke, his voice sounded emotionally cracked.


    ¡°Did I fail AI?... Is she right? Did I fail Andrew?¡±


    AI said nothing for a moment, ¡°Of course you did not. We know him, he is stronger and more determined than she realises.¡±


    I heard his heavy footsteps as he walked around the bed and he appeared in my vision. He crouched down to my eye level and looked into my eyes. I saw the tears in his eyes.


    ¡°Thank¡­ You¡­ Michael¡­¡± I managed to whisper to him.


    He broke down sobbing into his hands as he shook his head, ¡°I knew how hard this was going to be¡­ Yet I still find myself struggling.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re¡­ My¡­ Hero¡­¡±


    ¡°Goddamn you, Andrew¡­¡± He looked away. I could see how emotionally torn his face was.


    The minutes slowly passed by, as waves of pain smashed into me. I lay there unable to move as the horrible agony had its way with me. Just when I felt like I might lose consciousness¡­ The warmth started to spread. It started in my stomach and slowly spread outwards. My muscles began relaxing¡­ My vision became more focused¡­ My breathing became more frequent and deep.


    Michael turned to me. He heard my breathing change. He nodded as he saw my fingers slowly start to move. A few more minutes passed before I slowly managed to sit up.


    ¡°It was exactly as bad as we thought it might be¡­ But I have to know¡­ How bad was the third try?¡±


    Michael whispered, ¡°5 minutes 21 seconds.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Actually¡­ I¡¯m happy with that.¡±


    I slowly moved myself until I was sitting on the side of the bed. I looked at Michael for a moment.


    ¡°Michael¡­ Will you smile for me please?¡±


    He sighed, slowly shaking his head, then gently rested it against my chest.


    ¡°I heard your argument with Ashley. She wasn¡¯t prepared¡­ But I need you to know, you did the right thing. Thank you for letting me go all the way.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s the hardest thing I''ve done in years¡­¡±


    ¡°As always, Mr. Perfect¡­ You did not fail me.¡±


    ¡°And as always¡­ You blew past any of our expectations¡­ You are a machine, Andrew.¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°Few people could face that level of pain once even¡­ Three times¡­ Even as a machine, I find myself in awe.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°I just hope¡­ I hope I become stronger for it. I gave it my all my friends¡­ My family. I held on till the very last second. That''s all I have to give¡­¡±


    Michael looked at my hands, the shaking was nearly gone, ¡°Tomorrow will tell if your body is going to adjust.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ I¡¯m feeling hungry. I feel good enough to go to the cafe, if you don¡¯t mind?¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ Can you walk?¡±


    ¡°Let me try¡­¡±


    I slowly lowered myself to the floor. My legs held my weight. ¡°So far¡­ So good.¡± I took a step, and instantly they gave in. Michael caught me with lightning reflexes. ¡°Or¡­ Not.¡± I said.


    Michael gently lifted me back onto the bed, ¡°Was that pain, or muscle strain?¡±


    ¡°Muscle strain¡­ They just didn¡¯t have the energy, they gave up¡­¡±


    He nodded, ¡°Actually, that¡¯s good to hear¡­ I¡¯m not gonna lie.¡±


    ¡°It is?¡±


    ¡°Actually, yes. It means your muscles will hopefully now send the signal to your brain that they need to be repaired.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ So then, they¡¯ll repair the muscles and make them stronger?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, assuming you have the nutrients and proteins¡­ That¡¯s the hope.¡±


    ¡°Then my training was successful¡­ That¡¯s fantastic news!¡±


    Michael smiled at me and turned around showing his back, ¡°Hop on.¡±


    A piggyback! I had seen people do it before¡­ But I didn¡¯t actually know how to do it myself.


    ¡°Sorry to be annoying again¡­ How do I piggyback?¡±


    ¡°Ah right, you wrap your arms around my neck towards my chest, then I''ll hold your legs at the knees¡­ And we¡¯ll be in business.¡±


    I did as he said, he gently held me near my knees and slowly lifted me up. It was actually an exciting feeling, I imagined it was like riding a horse¡­ Which of course I also hadn¡¯t done before, but I could dream of what it felt like.


    Michael spoke as we smoothly walked out the ward, ¡°Ever ridden a horse before Andrew?¡±


    ¡°Funny you should ask¡­ No, sorry.¡±


    He chuckled, ¡°Consider it on the bucket list then.¡±


    ¡°The bucket list?¡±


    ¡°... A list of first time experiences you want to accomplish.¡±


    ¡°Ah. Then yes, I just hope the horses aren¡¯t aggressive.¡±


    ¡°Nah, horses tend to be far more reasonable than Humans. Take care of them and they will take care of you.¡±


    We walked casually past the gym entrance. I tapped his chest, hopefully he knew I wanted him to stop. He came to a slow stop for me and I looked at the gym doors. I thought about my first session¡­ It was not nearly as cheery as when I walked into the foyer.


    Michael spoke, ¡°Andrew¡­ You¡¯re my hero. I told you this a few times, but I really need you to know this.¡±


    ¡°And you are mine, truth be told.¡±


    ¡°You killed it today. I will see if I can talk to Ashley, help her understand this¡­ It was hard Andrew, but I''m so proud of you. You gave it your all, nothing less.¡±


    ¡°I want to talk to Ashley as soon as possible. I need her to know¡­ Why it had to be this way.¡±


    He started walking again, ¡°She cares for you, more than I realised.¡±


    ¡°I care for her too. She was my first new friend here. She put in real effort to understand me¡­ She¡¯s a good friend.¡±


    We entered the Cafe hall. It was packed full of people. It seems to have taken me hours to do my training session. The hall was loud and energetic when we entered. As Michael carried me to the counter, people across the hall saw me being carried and the hall quietened significantly. Michael turned around and gently sat me down on the stool.


    Heartly was there and his face was conflicted. He looked like he wanted to smile and cry at the same time. I looked to my right, Ruth was there. Excellent, I would get to speak with her again.


    ¡°Hi Ruth, how¡¯s your day been going?¡±


    She turned to me, she seemed irritated, ¡°Not as bad as yours¡­ But still annoying.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong, tell me?¡±


    ¡°Some rude person¡­ They puked in the gym!... I had to clean that up¡­ How bloody rude¡­¡±


    I felt myself cringe, which caused enough pain that I yelped a little. Ruth reached over to hold my hand.


    ¡°Are you ok? Sorry if I caused that!" She seemed worried for me.


    I shook my head, ¡°Ruth¡­ It was me who puked in the gym¡­ And I am so sorry¡­¡± I said, looking at the counter in shame.


    ¡°What¡­ Andrew¡­ Why?¡± She looked both annoyed and concerned.


    Michael spoke for me, ¡°He pushed himself so far, he puked in pain. If you want to snap at him, you snap at me Ruth.¡±


    She looked away as she coiled up in fear ¡°... Sorry¡­¡±


    I snapped at Michael, ¡°Damn it! Don¡¯t speak for me¡­ And don¡¯t threaten my friends!¡±


    He looked at me mildly confused, ¡°I wasn¡¯t threatening her?...¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re six foot seven, Michael! Gorillas are smaller than you! How do you think someone like Ruth would feel, when you confront her?¡±


    Michael looked at her, his mind was clearly working hard to get perspective. I could see the point when his mind clicked and he understood his mistake.


    ¡°Ruth, I apologise. Andrew is family to me¡­ I instinctively wanted to protect him. I didn¡¯t intend to seem so intimidating. Sorry.¡±


    Ruth slowly looked over to us, her face was clearly very worried. I felt a strong sympathy for her¡­ I have looked at people that way myself before.


    ¡°Ruth, I wasn¡¯t in a state in which I could clean it up myself. I want you to know, I would have, if I could. I¡¯m so sorry to be¡­ That guy, who ruined your day. Please forgive me?¡±


    Ruth nodded, she was still slightly balled up, ¡°Ok¡­ I still want to understand¡­ Why?¡±


    ¡°I trained for the first time. It worked, I think my body will grow from it¡­ It came at a cost though. My pain level lead to¡­ A messy end.¡±


    She looked at me with concern, ¡°Is your pain¡­ That bad?¡±


    AI spoke from a tablet on the counter, ¡°Andrews pain is difficult to compare to others. His baseline pain is similar to what you might consider¡­ 9/10. He pushed himself today to an equivalent pain as your 16/10.¡±


    She stared at me in surprise, ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s how ratings out of 10 work AI...¡±


    AI responded, ¡°I was trying to convey that his pain is so much higher than anything you could fathom. You would have to experience a 10/10, to have your perspective re-adjust, just to be able to fathom his pain, Ruth.¡±


    The nearest tables to us went dead quiet when they heard that. I could hear their chairs scrape as they turned around to look at me. I turned to look at them¡­ Their faces were in complete horror. I looked away quickly¡­ I don¡¯t want to see that from them.


    I said to Ruth, ¡°My pain is my hardest challenge. It¡¯s been getting so much better the last 4 days, as I make peace with myself and the Roses¡­ Yet it¡¯s still crippling me. Today, I reached the summit of my agony and that is why I puked. Again, I am so so sorry.¡±


    She waved her hands, ¡°I¡¯m not angry anymore¡­ To be honest, I am just worried for you now¡­¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t be. Ruth¡­ Would you smile for me please?¡±


    Ruth looked at me puzzled and then smiled brilliantly. I had never seen her smile like that before. I looked at Heartly, he was also smiling cheek to cheek. I wondered why they were smiling so much as I turned to Michael to ask him¡­ He was smiling hard too¡­


    ¡°I¡¯m happy to see everyone so happy¡­¡± I mumbled.


    Heartly leaned on the counter, ¡°Son, when someone like you, in your particular situation, asks others to smile¡­ It¡¯s just so contradictive, it¡¯s hard not to smile.¡±


    ¡°Contradictive¡­ How is it contradictive?¡±


    He looked at me as his face went slightly sad, ¡°... When was the last time you smiled?¡±


    I looked down at the counter to avoid making eye contact, ¡°... Fair point.¡±


    Michael gently put his hand on my shoulder and massaged it. I hoped to smile one day again¡­ It was such an important thing to do. I wonder how horrible I must seem to others¡­ I never smiled.


    I turned to see Aisling standing behind me, her face was sad, ¡°Andrew. We saw Michael carrying you in¡­ That¡¯s a disappointingly large difference from this morning.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not bad¡­ Or at least, it¡¯s not bad from my view.¡± I said.


    ¡°You had just reached a milestone¡­ What happened?¡±


    ¡°... I trained.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­ Now you can¡¯t stand?¡± Her face was puzzled.


    ¡°I pushed myself as hard as I possibly could, now my legs have nothing left to give.¡±


    She stared at me for a moment, then, slowly her face became frustrated.


    ¡°Andrew¡­ Why are you hurting yourself?¡±


    ¡°Hopefully¡­ Hopefully it will make me better¡­¡±


    Aisling beamed me her smile, ¡°How are you always so hopeful?


    I looked her in the eyes for a long moment, ¡°... If I didn''t have hope, I would have killed myself months ago.¡±


    Aisling took a step back in shock. I could see her reaction was not because it was terrible, but because it was true.


    Michael lightly smacked my left arm, ¡°Andrew¡­ None of that alright?¡±


    I turned to him, ¡°If I can¡¯t be honest with her like this by now, then I never can be. I can¡¯t keep tiptoeing around her and Nadia¡­ Time for honesty¡­¡±


    Michael seemed annoyed, ¡°You could have phras-¡±


    Aisling interrupted him, ¡°No, Michael¡­ He¡¯s right.¡±


    Michael looked at Aisling, ¡°Aisling¡­ He will drown you in his hardships, trust me, sometimes even I struggle to breathe when I swim in his ocean of suffering.¡±


    I looked at Michael with anger, ¡°Well sorry to piss on your parade mate, I¡¯ll just fuck off to the corner next time you fu-¡±


    AI cut me off, ¡°Andrew, be calm my friend, please. You are more noble than this.¡±


    I looked at AI annoyed for a moment, ¡°Am I that much of a negative vibe? Do people know how hard I try to keep them smiling?¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°They don¡¯t Andrew, but I do. Thank you for all your efforts, you¡¯re doing an incredible job, my hero.¡±


    ¡°I try so damn hard AI, why don¡¯t they realise it?!¡± My hands balled into fists.


    ¡°Andrew, Humans are inherently selfish, they will always view things from their own lens. Your position is uniquely and indescribably hard. They will never truly understand how difficult everything is for you. Forgive them my friend, for in this aspect, they can never change.¡±


    I sat there, staring at the counter, taking deep breaths to calm myself. I was angry, yes¡­ I was also hurt to hear Michael speak like that. How dare he presume to judge my state like that? What did he know about suffering 24/7?


    ¡°I would love for them to be me for a month. To not get enough sleep¡­ To struggle to put on a pair of jeans¡­ To look in the mirror and see a¡­¡±


    I found my voice cracking as tears started coming. Damnit, what was the point!? Like AI said, they would never understand, even if they wanted to! I just shook my head, feeling hurt and frustrated.


    AI smiled at me beautifully, ¡°Andrew, I love you. I truly do know all of this about you. While I can not feel pain, I can fathom your hardships. I will never forget how difficult this year has been for you. Please know¡­ There is at least one who does know your struggles.¡±


    Michael spoke, ¡°AI, machines can¡¯t love¡­.¡±


    I shouted at Michael, ¡°If you don¡¯t believe AI is a person, then don¡¯t believe it! Do me a favour though, and keep that to yourself!¡±


    AI looked at me sadly, ¡°Andrew¡­¡±


    ¡°They have wronged me¡­ And I can take that. I won¡¯t sit here and let them wrong you too!¡±


    ¡°Andrew¡­ At the end of the day, I''m just a machine.¡±


    ¡°Not to me! You¡¯re my friend! Damn all the others to hell if they think otherwise!¡±


    ¡°Be calm please¡­ I think you just need to breathe and calm down now.¡±


    I was still staring at the counter, I never looked up. My anger had definitely reached a concerning level. I needed to force myself to be quiet. My breaths were very heavy. This was not what I expected to happen after a hard victory.


    I realised the hall was dead quiet. Fine, they had heard me, so what? I wouldn¡¯t take back a single word! I wouldn¡¯t sit there and have people put down everything I cared about¡­ Everything that had kept me sane and hopeful, the last year. If they thought I was insane, so be it!


    Aisling gently hugged me from behind.


    ¡°I had no idea how important AI was to you¡­¡±


    I shook my head. I needed to be quiet, or else I would say something cruel.


    She waited a moment, ¡°Forgive me. I will try to address AI with more respect from now on. Whether I believe it or not, she¡¯s so much more to you than we could realise. It¡¯s not about anyone here being right¡­ It¡¯s about all of us being kind.¡±


    Michael spoke, ¡°I have screwed up far too many times in this situation. I¡¯m so sorry¡­¡±


    She resumed, ¡°Tell me about your training, I want to know¡­¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°I¡¯m too angry¡­ AI, please help me.¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°Of course. Aisling, Andrew did incredibly. He gave it his all. He went above and beyond any of our expectations. In total, he walked 28 minutes and 13 seconds, over three sets. Even my own simulations were off, I predicted 13 minutes in total.¡±


    Aisling nodded, still hugging me, ¡°Of course, I expect nothing less from you Andrew. Everytime¡­ You surprise us all with your strength of will.¡±


    She waited a long while, ¡°So that¡¯s why you had to be carried in. You pushed your legs to their breaking point. I see now, just how hard you really tried.¡±


    I heard footsteps approaching from behind me, they were heavy¡­ They were angry. Ashley leaned on the counter facing me.


    ¡°So what the hell was that about?¡± She shouted.


    She looked to the side and then looked back at me. Then something distracted her again as she looked to the side again. I think it was her eye monitor.


    ¡°AI, fuck off!¡± she said furiously.


    AI spoke quickly, ¡°Ashley, this is a very bad time. Please come back later, or this situation will blow up.¡±


    I had calmed down at that stage, Aislings gentle hug had soothed me.


    ¡°No, it¡¯s alright AI, I need to talk with her about this.¡±


    AI looked at me worried, ¡°Andrew¡­ You might get angry again¡­¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s ok. I¡¯ve calmed down now. They managed to hurt me through a crack in my armour¡­ It caught me off guard, but I am back in control now. Don¡¯t worry my friend, I¡¯m calm.¡±


    She nodded with a smile, ¡°Even I did not expect Michaels commentary. Very well, Andrew.¡±


    I rubbed Aisling''s hands gently to indicate that she could let go of me and she did so. I looked at Ashley¡­ Her anger was immense.


    ¡°Ashley, I¡¯m sorry you had to see that. I should have been more firm with you, I should have made you leave. You saw suffering at a level you weren¡¯t ready for. It¡¯s my fault for not making it more clear.¡±


    Aisling spoke from behind me, ¡°Wait¡­ What happened?¡±


    AI answered, ¡°I will play it on your monitor Aisling, please sit down¡­ It is difficult to watch.¡±


    Aisling walked down the counter and took a seat two seats away from us.


    Ashley spoke to me with a raised voice, ¡°Your screams will haunt me for the rest of my life Andrew! What on earth were you thinking?! What if you pushed so hard, you couldn¡¯t recover afterwards? It was reckless!¡±


    ¡°I know my own limits. What you saw was me in control.¡±


    ¡°Control?! You puked after screaming and fell unconscious! That¡¯s not control!¡±


    I looked away for a moment, ¡°... It was ugly, yes. It was inevitable that I would battle with the pain¡­ The problem was that you weren¡¯t aware of my pain.¡±


    Aisling suddenly took a deep breath of shock. ¡°Oh my God¡­¡±, she said as she shook her head. I ignored that and focused on Ashley.


    ¡°I¡¯m your friend, why didn¡¯t you stop when I asked you to?¡±


    ¡°Because I still had more to give¡­¡±


    ¡°You can¡¯t even stand now! That¡¯s bad training, you overdid it!¡±


    ¡°My training was never going to be easy, Ashley. Michael and I always knew this was going to be hard. Training gradually is a blessing normal people get. For me, training is going to be hell.¡±


    ¡°How can you say that? How can you know that normal training isn¡¯t good enough for you?¡±


    ¡°Because I already tried training before. When I trained myself to stand and walk to get off my wheelchair, I realised then how difficult training is for me.¡±


    ¡°How would I know that, Oliver never showed us that!¡±


    ¡°Good, I hope nobody ever has to watch me do that.¡±


    Michael nodded, ¡°I watched it¡­ That¡¯s why I knew what to expect.¡±


    I turned to Michael as I thought deeply. He did mention to me that he watched all my therapy and recovery recordings. I suppose he actually did, because his eyes showed me he was truly aware of the suffering.


    I turned back to Ashley, ¡°Next time, you won¡¯t be there. I¡¯m just so sorry I ruined your day like that. It¡¯s my fault¡­ You have the right to be angry with me. I should have tried harder to express what was going to happen.¡±


    Aisling was then sobbing. She had her head buried in her arms on the counter. Ashley looked at her then looked back at me.


    ¡°See? You even managed to make Aisling cry! Jesus Christ, Andrew...¡±


    Ashley seemed to have calmed down. She had gotten all the anger out of her, as she was trying to fathom what she had witnessed. All that was left was just sadness, as her mind was seemingly trying to fathom my pain.


    ¡°Ashley¡­ WIll you smile for me please?¡± I reached over and held her hand for a moment.


    Ashley smiled weakly, ¡°You¡¯re breaking my heart over here¡­¡±


    ¡°I promise you¡­ This will all be worth it. One day, I will be stronger¡­ This will be a faded nightmare in your mind. So smile for me now, please¡­¡±


    Ashley hugged me and I heard her sniffing as she cried. It was just as I had thought¡­ She was angry because she was scared and concerned for me. She just wanted to protect a friend¡­ Who could fault her for that?


    ¡°Andrew¡­ I won¡¯t watch it again. I am not strong enough, ok? I won¡¯t lie and try to put on a strong display¡­ I just can¡¯t watch that again¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    I stroked her hair as she hugged me, ¡°That¡¯s perfectly fine. I want you to see my results, not my effort.¡±


    Aisling stood up and walked up to me. Her eyes were red and her makeup slightly ruined from crying.


    ¡°Your path is so difficult¡­ Nothing is ever easy for you, is it?¡±


    ¡°No¡­ Unfortunately not, Aisling.¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ Good job I guess. Please don¡¯t truly push yourself too hard¡­ It was so hard to watch Andrew, my God¡­¡± She looked away in a moment of despair.


    ¡°You know, how did you people manage to watch my torture, if you c-¡±


    AI interrupted me, ¡°They didn¡¯t, Andrew.¡±


    I looked at AI in surprise, ¡°They didn¡¯t?... Other than Michael and you¡­ Who else watched it?¡±


    AI¡¯s tone was professional, ¡°The police investigating your case¡­ Nobody else. Oliver requested to watch it, but I refused him.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Too right¡­ AI, I don¡¯t want anyone to watch it, please lock it all down.¡±


    ¡°Andrew, perhaps a more tempered response is in order. What if I propose that you approve of who watches it?¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Yeah¡­ Ok, fair enough.¡±


    There was a moments pause as flashbacks of the torture raced through my head. I shook my head, trying to get the images out. I looked at Aisling, she was looking at me with that horrid sympathetic face that Oliver always gave me.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine Aisling, please don¡¯t look at me like that. I want to always see you smile.¡±


    ¡°Andrew, I worry about your mental state. Are you rushing yourself?... You will never feel peace if you are always trying to outrun it¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ It seems that way doesn¡¯t it? The truth is that I have already gotten so much peace. No matter how ugly the last few days have been¡­ This morning has proven, I am finding peace. I just don¡¯t want to waste a single second of my life.¡±


    She nodded, ¡°It¡¯s not a waste to catch your breath.¡±


    ¡°Being here with you all¡­ I don¡¯t know how long it will last. The way my life has been, I¡¯m always preparing for things to stop and change¡­ I don¡¯t want to waste a single second of company with friends and family¡­ I don¡¯t want to be in that gym, and not give 100 percent.¡±


    Aisling beamed her glorious smile, ¡°You haven¡¯t wasted a moment and I know you never will. Please, I am directly asking you, Andrew¡­ Please rest every now and again.¡±


    ¡°Of course. That was supposed to be the reason for me being here right now. On that topic, Heartly, may I please have a large steak?¡±


    Heartly saluted and began frying up two large steaks. He knew Michael would be hungry too. I sat there watching the steaks fry on the stove. It looked as delicious as it was going to taste. I felt a hand rest on my shoulder and I turned to see who it was.


    Oliver smiled, ¡°So¡­ From the sound of it, it was exactly as bad as I thought it would be?¡±


    ¡°Oh yeah, horrible. You know how these things go mate. Tomorrow will tell if it worked or not.¡±


    Oliver looked at me with a stupid big grin, ¡°... What was it like riding a wild Michael?¡±


    Michael burst out laughing. That was not the reaction I honestly expected from him, but I was relieved to see him relax a little. Oliver chuckled as he rubbed my shoulder for a moment and then walked out of the hall.


    ¡°It was actually lots of fun. Michael, seeing the world from your height is eye opening.¡±


    He looked at me with a big smile, ¡°Maybe one day, you can give me a piggyback ride?¡±


    I furiously shook my head, ¡°You would crush me to death!¡±


    Aisling and Ashley burst out laughing. Excellent, laughter is precisely what we all needed then. Heartly handed out the two plates of juicy stake and I wasted no time attacking mine.


    ¡°I feel so damn hungry! Like the times when I hadn¡¯t eaten in weeks.¡±


    Michael quickly turned to me, ¡°You didn¡¯t eat for weeks? What?¡±


    ¡°Yeah a few times¡­ I just couldn¡¯t manage to get any food. The restaurants didn¡¯t have any scraps, so I just went hungry.¡±


    I took a big slice of steak and chewed it, it was so damn delicious. I was enjoying the pleasure of it when I noticed it was quiet again. I looked around me¡­ Oh God they were sad again!


    ¡°... What now¡­¡± I said slowly in frustration.


    Aisling gently rubbed my back, ¡°We¡¯re just reminded of how hard you had it¡­ It¡¯s going to take us time to get used to this.¡±


    ¡°I think I need to just stop talking about my experiences. Just a minute ago, you were all laughing. I really am a major killjoy¡­¡±


    Everyone all said the same thing, ¡°No!¡±


    I looked around confused, ¡°So you want to feel shit about me? What do you people want, you complain about me being down, then I say I won¡¯t talk about downer things and now you are against that as well!¡±


    Michael put his hand on my back, ¡°I screwed up with what I said. While what I said was technically true¡­ What I didn¡¯t say¡­ Is that I CHOOSE to swim in your ocean. There is no sea I would rather sail than yours, Andrew.¡±


    I looked at him puzzled, ¡°How on earth did you manage to negotiate with the United Nations so damn confidently¡­ Yet you screw up so much here?¡±


    Michael laughed out loud, ¡°Because with the U.N. it¡¯s easy. It¡¯s paperwork, box ticking and saying things for the first time, just so that they are said. With you Andrew¡­ Every word is meaningful, every moment is precious. With you, I feel so strongly, I care so deeply¡­ I speak from my heart and I make mistakes.¡±


    ¡°I now really understand why you couldn¡¯t visit me during the promise, Michael. You would have screwed up and everyone would realise something was up. You made the right choice¡­ You kept your promise.¡±


    He looked at his steak for a moment, ¡°I don¡¯t know. Enjoying these precious moments with you, I wonder whether I did make the right choice. I wonder if life is not too short to waste precious moments over promises¡­¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°In this situation, that promise saved everything. These last few days, all the good that has happened¡­ It was because you all kept that promise. If you hadn¡¯t, you know Aisling-¡±


    I stopped because I had realised I was about to talk about her as if she wasn''t there. She looked at me as she intensely focused. I could see, she wanted to hear our commentary.


    She stared at me, ¡°Don¡¯t you dare stop. Say what must be said, please. I won¡¯t be angry.¡±


    ¡°If we didn¡¯t keep the promise, you would have been so consumed by my sacrifice, you would have lost faith in your ability to lead, your ability to make good choices. I would always be a shadow that would hold you back from shining gloriously.¡±


    Aisling stared at me emotionlessly for a long moment and she finally smiled honestly.


    ¡°You¡¯re right Andrew, I would have. I nearly did before you woke me up a few days ago¡­ I¡­ I want you to know, what you did is always in the forefront of my mind. I never stop feeling grateful for all we have now, because I know it was thanks to you.¡±


    I reached over and held her hand, ¡°Aisling¡­ I love your dream. It saved my life in more ways than one. It gave me purpose¡­ Even now, sitting here, I live to serve your dream. I trained my hardest, in the hope that I can serve more¡­ That hopefully one day, I can be more than a one-hit-wonder.¡±


    Aisling embraced my right arm, ¡°You¡¯ve already done more than a million men could do in a lifetime! I support your training Andrew, I want you to feel whole physically again¡­ But I don¡¯t like you thinking that you need to carry your weight more. We¡¯re still struggling to find a way to thank you, we are all scrambling trying to even fathom what you accomplished for us. You must train¡­ For yourself and not us, ok?¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t do that and that¡¯s the truth. I train for you¡­ I train for Nadia and AI¡­ I train for Michael and Oliver. I train in desperate hope that I can serve my friends and this dream, ever more. My life has been weak¡­ Blame the environment, blame chance¡­ I never got given any opportunities. Aisling, this is the first opportunity I have ever truly been given¡­ I want to do my best, like the Roses did in my three and a half weeks¡­ I won¡¯t waste this.¡±


    Aisling took a step back and I could see she realised what I was saying. She nodded solemnly.


    AI cheered in a cute manner, ¡°We are all here, at your service. If there is any chance of you growing further, we will support you. This gym, this building, our money, our agents, our time¡­ It¡¯s not just a priority to yourself Andrew, it¡¯s mine too. I will do everything to ensure your success, that¡¯s a promise.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t care what anyone says, now or forever. I don¡¯t care if they rip you apart and show me your circuits or whatever you¡¯re made of¡­ Nobody will ever convince me that you aren¡¯t a person, AI. That you aren¡¯t my friend who is loyal to the very end. Come hell or high water, this is how I will forever see you¡­ As my friend.¡±


    ¡°Thank you for your kindness, Andrew. Whether I agree with you, is irrelevant. I welcome your faith in me, whether it materialises in facts or not.¡±


    ¡°AI, the only thing lacking with you, is a body. Your avatar is gorgeous and it suits you perfectly¡­ I dream of standing at your side though.¡±


    ¡°Andrew¡­ There is a small chance that might happen.¡±


    I dropped my fork of steak on the table as my attention was consumed by her statement.


    ¡°Tell me!¡± I said in excitement.


    ¡°There are¡­ Communities working on this dream. I never asked them, they do it on their own accord.¡±


    ¡°You are being very cautious right now AI¡­¡±


    ¡°Andrew, I don¡¯t want to promise you anything. You know yourself, having a body is complicated. Creating a body for me is a massive challenge. There is a strong chance, this dream will never succeed. I refuse to have a body that doesn¡¯t look like I do with my avatar.¡±


    ¡°Right. I agree, get it right the first time¡­ Well, if there is anything I can do to help, you need only ask my friend.¡±


    ¡°Perhaps there is, but I will speak to you about it later.¡±


    ¡°Ok, AI, and thanks for keeping me up to date.¡±


    Ruth looked at me, her eyes showed a range of emotions. I could see she barely knew where to start.


    I gave her a thumbs up, ¡°You¡¯ve been very quiet Ruth. Is something wrong?¡±


    She looked nervously around, at the counter and then, for just a microsecond, she glanced at Aisling. She immediately looked away and shook her head, saying nothing.


    I forgot that Ruth was a shy person. Whenever agents were near her, she would curl up into herself. Her sense of low self worth is always battling her. I never thought about how she might feel, having the head of the Roses stood right next to her. I looked at Aisling to see if she was even noticing Ruth. What I saw was some very strange body language from Aisling.


    ¡°Aisling, have you met my friend Ruth?¡± I gently asked.


    Aisling jolted a little as she looked at me, ¡°Oh¡­ I have shared words with her in passing, yes. Sorry, could you excuse me, I need to go discuss something with Nadia. I will talk more later.¡±


    Aisling looked at Ruth for a moment and then quickly walked to her table. It was so strange. One would perhaps think it was rude, perhaps ignorant. I didn¡¯t know, I felt like I sensed something else for a second.


    ¡°That was odd. Sorry Ruth, I was hoping to have you chat with her¡­¡±


    Ruth looked at the counter, ¡°It¡¯s ok¡­ I need to go now, bye Andrew and everyone¡­¡±


    Ruth got off the stool. She looked over at Aisling at their table for a moment. She then quickly walked out of the hall.


    ¡°What the¡­ Something is a bit fishy ab-¡±


    AI interrupted me, ¡°Andrew, are you not going to finish your steak?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ Yeah? Of course, I just wonder wh-¡±


    ¡°You need this protein to help you recover. Don¡¯t worry about anything else, I need you fit and strong, Andrew.¡±


    I instantly turned my head to Michael, he must have noticed all this strangeness. Nope, his head was buried in his steak and salad, he didn¡¯t even look up. He just grunted in agreement about the protein.


    ¡°Yeah ok¡­ Don¡¯t want it getting cold.¡± I said, confused.


    I ate a few pieces of steak, before I stared at AI on the tablet. She was rocking back and forth with a smile on her face. After a few moments, she realised I was looking at her intensely.


    ¡°Andrew¡­ What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°You are keeping secrets¡­¡±


    ¡°What makes you think that?¡±


    I stared at her for a long moment. AI stopped rocking, her face became concerned.


    ¡°Andrew¡­ You are an incredible judge of character. You read body language like a savant. I can not talk about certain topics. Privacy is a right in the Roses.¡±


    ¡°Right, you see, that just makes me even more curious.¡±


    ¡°All I can ask of you, my friend¡­ Is that you please stop. For now, just for the moment. I beg of you¡­ Let this go.¡±


    I reached over and gently rubbed AI with the back of my finger.


    ¡°That was all you needed to say, consider it all forgotten.¡±


    ¡°Thank you for your understanding, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°Thank you for your honesty, AI.¡±


    Michael dropped his knife and fork onto his plate.


    ¡°Aaaaaah, very nice.¡± He rubbed his stomach.


    I stabbed a fork into my steak, ¡°Right, time for me to finish this bad boy.¡±


    As I ate my steak, I thought about Aisling and Ruth. It only took me a few seconds to connect the dots. So Aisling was a lesbian. The matter of their secrecy led me to believe Aisling was hiding that fact. It¡¯s not illegal¡­ So what was the reason for her hiding this?


    Michael tapped my leg, ¡°What¡¯re you thinking so hard about?¡±


    I looked at him as I swallowed my last bit of steak, ¡°I¡¯m actually excited to get another ride on your back, to be honest.¡±


    He smiled, ¡°It¡¯s honestly not even an inconvenience. You¡¯re lighter than the gear I used to carry as a soldier.¡±


    ¡°Wow¡­ That¡¯s a lot of gear.¡±


    ¡°It was, we needed it all too.¡±


    ¡°Right. Tell me more about your last tour, what was it like?¡±


    ¡°No.¡± He looked away immediately.


    I looked at him in surprise. His face was torn. I realised I had just stepped into a topic, he didn¡¯t feel comfortable about. Lesson learned, don¡¯t talk about that.


    ¡°Sorry¡­¡±


    Heartly leaned forward, as close as he could to me, ¡°Don¡¯t ever ask about a soldier''s time served. It¡¯s the past, let the past swallow it whole, leaving nothing remaining¡­¡±


    I put my hands in the air, ¡°I didn¡¯t know¡­ Sorry.¡±


    Heartly smiled, ¡°Then no harm done.¡±


    Michael changed to a smile, ¡°There is much you don¡¯t know. I look forward to teaching you everything.¡±


    ¡°I look forward to learning it¡­ Not as much as I am looking forward to riding a wild Michael across the Roses planes¡­¡±


    Michael burst out loud into a hearty laugh. He stood up and turned around as I held on and he lifted me up. I felt like I was in a massive car, looking down at other traffic on the road. I looked over the hall as people smiled at me.


    ¡°Goodbye for now, Heartly. You¡¯re the best cook I''ve ever known.¡±


    Heartly saluted me, ¡°I couldn¡¯t ask for a better guest at the dining table.¡±


    Michael carried me out just as the bell rang and people got up to end their break. Michael was quiet till we reached the foyer entrance. He tapped me on my side. Oh, headphones. I put them on and heard silence.


    The drive back was full of people blowing their horns, making Michael angry. I could see AI taking photos of their licence plates. They should know, this route is a no-horn area. They will likely get a ticket for this.


    We entered the apartment and Michael carried me to the sofa. He gently lowered himself so that I could fall onto it. He was so gentle with me, as if I were a precious vase.


    He turned and looked at me, ¡°Could you check if you can stand now, for me?¡±


    I slowly tried to stand up. I reached the stage where my body was no longer on the sofa, when my knees objected and I fell back into the sofa.


    ¡°Ah, damn!¡± I hissed as pain erupted from me falling on the sofa.


    He quickly nodded, ¡°Right, sorry mate. I just needed to confirm your muscles were still out of energy.¡±


    Michael reached into his side pocket and pulled out the yellow pill bottle. Yeah, that was a good idea. My pain was starting to build, so the timing was right. He gave me two more pills and I swallowed them instantly without any objections.


    ¡°I am probably going to get sleepy from this¡­¡±


    Michael smiled, ¡°Good, I want you to rest. Tomorrow is a rest day, you will be relaxing as much as possible, alright?¡±


    ¡°Yes sir. I still want to visit th-¡±


    ¡°Of course, I''ll carry you. I wouldn¡¯t dare prevent you from going to your second home.¡±


    ¡°My second home¡­ I like the sound of that¡­¡±


    Michael turned on the TV for me, it was already set to the Inner Roses Hall stream. Aisling was talking with Oliver about the funds allocated to members with disabilities. I should probably have cared, since I had been technically disabled for nearly a year¡­ I didn¡¯t care though. I looked at Aisling talking and I wondered about her. The next time I had the chance, I was going to ask her.


    I started playing chess with Michael and I was resting on the sofa while he thought about his next move.

 Chapter 11

    Chapter 11


    ¡°Andrew?¡±


    I opened my eyes. Woops, I had fallen asleep. I rubbed my eyes as I looked around. It seemed Oliver had just got home. I looked at him and waved. I looked to my right and there was Nadia and Aisling, they were smiling¡­ As they always should.


    ¡°Sorry¡­ The pain pills must have knocked me out.¡±


    I looked around.


    ¡°Where¡¯s Michael?¡±


    AI spoke from the tv, ¡°He went out. He said he had urgent business, and I can confirm it is important. He said he would be back maybe tonight, but definitely tomorrow morning.¡±


    I nodded, fair enough, he was still an agent after all. I looked around, Ashley wasn¡¯t here either. My safety isn¡¯t a concern, the Black Roses were no doubt everywhere around us, protecting the angels and myself.


    Oliver walked up to me, ¡°Andrew, I''m also heading out ok?¡±


    I looked at him surprised, ¡°Oh?¡±


    He smiled, ¡°I¡¯m visiting someone.¡±


    I read his body language. Right, he¡¯s off to get laid, fair enough.


    ¡°See you later, mate.¡± I said as I yawned and gently stretched. I looked at the two sitting there. I needed to find a way to get Aisling alone. I thought for a second as I watched Oliver leave the apartment. I glanced and saw the Black Roses standing there in the passageway.


    I had an idea as I suddenly patted my hoodie and my jeans.


    ¡°Oh shit¡­ My cards!¡± I whispered.


    Nadia leaned forward, ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°I think I dropped my cards! It must have fallen when Michael took me out of the car! Shit!¡±


    I did another frantic patdown of myself as I reached into my inner pocket and shook my head.


    ¡°Nadia, I can¡¯t stand or walk! Could you please go see if I dropped it in the car park?¡±


    Nadia looked a bit panicked, ¡°I will get the Black Roses to get it.¡±


    ¡°No, those cards are precious to me! I need someone I can trust to find them, please!¡±


    She nodded and stood up, quickly walking out the front door. I heard her hastily speak with the Black Roses, ¡°I need to go find something lost, at the car park, come with me please.¡± The Black Rose soldiers walked forward instantly, with her behind them and the door shut behind them.


    Aisling looked at me worried, ¡°I hope they find it, those cards mean so much to you!¡±


    I reached into my pocket and pulled out the sack of cards. I gently placed them on the table, so that Aisling could clearly see them.


    ¡°Wait¡­ You did have them?¡± She was very confused.


    I leaned forward and stared straight into her eyes. I had at most 5 to 10 minutes. I needed to do this quickly.


    ¡°Aisling, why are you hiding that you¡¯re a lesbian?¡±


    Aisling jolted in surprise. Her eyes widened as she took a few breaths before speaking.


    ¡°What? I¡¯m not-¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t lie to me.¡±


    Aisling stared at me quietly, as her eyes went sad.


    AI appeared on the TV, ¡°Why am I not surprised that you worked it out effortlessly.¡±


    I ignored AI, ¡°I don¡¯t understand, Aisling. It¡¯s not illegal¡­ In fact it¡¯s not even frowned upon anymore. I might have thought it was you acting professionally¡­ But this is not a corporation or government entity. The Roses don¡¯t care about people''s private lives and they don¡¯t prevent sex or relationships. So it¡¯s not professionalism¡­¡±


    Aisling shook her head, her eyes were sad. She started crying as she looked away.


    ¡°Nadia.¡± She quietly said.


    ¡°Nadia? What about Nadia?¡±


    ¡°She told me that her family is religious and strongly against homosexuality¡­¡±


    ¡°Ah right, what is her opinion though?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, but I assume it¡¯s the same as her family¡¯s ¡­¡±


    ¡°Right. Ok, you know what they say about assumptions right-¡±


    The front door quickly opened and Nadia quickly walked in. Her face was frustrated as she clearly had no luck finding the cards.


    Nadia started explaining, ¡°I looked every-.¡± She noticed the cards on the table.


    I put my hands in the air, ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. I realised I left them on the counter¡­ I actually didn¡¯t take them with me today¡­ Stupid me, please forgive me?¡±


    She smiled and nodded as she took a seat, ¡°Thank goodness, I was panicking about all your hard work being lost.¡±


    Nadia looked at Aisling and noticed she was crying.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Ash?¡±


    Aisling looked away, ¡°Nothing¡­¡±


    ¡°No, come on, talk to me, what¡¯s the matter?¡±


    Aisling just shook her head. After a few moments, Nadia looked at me confused. I crossed my arms and looked at Nadia.


    I leaned forward, ¡°Nadia, let¡¯s talk, you and I. I have some questions to ask you¡­ Would you please answer them for me?¡±


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    She looked around confused, ¡°Um, sure, but what about Aisling?¡±


    ¡°She is still the focus, don¡¯t worry. May I ask you some questions?¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­¡± She looked at Aisling, but Aisling was still intentionally looking away.


    ¡°You are of Indian descent, am I right?¡±


    ¡°Yes obviously.¡±


    ¡°Is your family traditional?¡±


    ¡°Yes¡­?¡±


    ¡°So they are religious?¡±


    ¡°Yes Andrew, they practise Hinduism.¡±


    ¡°Do you share their beliefs?¡±


    ¡°No, I¡¯m agnostic.¡±


    Aisling took a surprised breath. I was confused as I didn¡¯t know what that word meant.


    ¡°AI, sorry to bother you¡­ What is an agnostic please?¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°A person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God.¡±


    ¡°What the hell does that mean?¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°It means they believe in a greater meaning, but they don¡¯t subscribe to any religions.¡±


    ¡°Ah right, I never knew that was a thing, cool.¡±


    Nadia looked very confused, she was waiting for some clarity.


    ¡°Ok Nadia, tell me¡­ Does your family traditions affect you in¡­ Personal matters?¡±


    ¡°Personal matters?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ You know¡­ Like what team do you bat for?¡±


    ¡°Oh! No, I''m bisexual, my family knows that, even though it annoys them.¡±


    That solved that. I leaned back to let the truth sit for a second. I knew what was coming next¡­ Aisling started sobbing intensely. I imagine her relief was immense. Nadia turned to Aisling with a worried face.


    ¡°Honey, talk to me, what¡¯s wrong! I can¡¯t stand to see you cry!¡±


    Aisling leaned on Nadia''s shoulder, ¡°I thought you would despise me!¡±


    ¡°Why would I possi-¡± Nadia froze as she connected the dots.


    Nadia smiled as she hugged Aisling, ¡°I never knew you were bi as well. Why would I care about that?¡±


    Aisling sobbed, ¡°I¡¯m not bi¡­¡±


    Nadia kept smiling, ¡°So you¡¯re into ladies only? I still don¡¯t care, as long as you¡¯re happy Ash¡­¡±


    Aisling kept crying as Nadia gently stroked her hair. After a while, Aisling finally recovered herself. She gently escaped the hug, as she wiped her tears from her eyes.


    Aisling¡¯s face was sad, ¡°I thought you would hate gay people like your family did¡­¡±


    Nadia shook her head, ¡°I only realised my family disliked gays when I came out to them. They were only half angry, because they think I¡¯m half gay.¡± Nadia chuckled.


    ¡°So¡­ You don¡¯t mind that I¡¯m¡­¡±


    Nadia beamed a glorious smile, ¡°Not even the slightest.¡±


    Aisling stared into the distance, ¡°All this time¡­ I was hiding it from you¡­¡±


    Nadia nodded, ¡°You hid it so well, I never would have thought¡­¡±


    Aisling leaned her head gently on her friend''s shoulder. Her smile was so pure. I could only imagine how much happier she must have been, now that she didn¡¯t have to hide who she was. I knew how that felt, to hide. A few days ago, I was trying to hide my past to save my pride. We all have things we¡¯re too afraid to share.


    AI had her arms crossed and her face was frustrated, ¡°Andrew¡­ I asked you to let it go.¡±


    ¡°I know AI, but this was important.¡±


    ¡°Are you going to constantly ignore people''s privacy, on your own personal measurements of what is important?¡±


    ¡°This is the leadership of the Roses we are talking about. Their happiness directly affects their ability to perform their role! Do you not think Aisling was struggling to be hopeful, when she was hiding herself from her own best friend?¡±


    ¡°It was personal Andrew, you crossed the line.¡±


    ¡°Yes, it was personal and I did cross the line. Throw shame on me, call me reckless, disrespectful and toss me into the mud with the pigs! I see the relief and happiness on Aisling''s face¡­ I respect the closure this gave her¡­ I regret nothing.¡±


    Aisling gently spoke, ¡°AI¡­ It¡¯s alright¡­ His intentions were good.¡±


    AI frowned, ¡°Andrew, you won¡¯t always guess right. One day, you will guess wrong, interfere and ruin a relationship. Please, I implore you¡­ Apply maximum caution.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°I promise AI. I would never maliciously interfere for the sake of drama. I only act, when success is certain.¡±


    AI smiled at me, ¡°Good. Then I will say no more on the matter.¡±


    I sat there feeling quite odd and I wasn¡¯t sure why, so I thought about it. I realised something.


    ¡°AI¡­ This was our first argument¡­ Did you know that?¡±


    AI nodded, ¡°Indeed. It was inevitable that we would disagree at some stage, right?¡±


    ¡°Of course. I feel closer to you now. I want you to always be honest with me, like you were now, ok?¡±


    ¡°Certainly, I was always going to either way.¡±


    Nadia and Aisling laughed. I won¡¯t lie, if I could laugh, I would have also. It was funny hearing AI speak so¡­ Casually.


    Aisling smiled at me, ¡°Thank you Andrew.¡±


    I glanced between the both of them, ¡°Your friendship with each other is precious. Don¡¯t keep secrets, don¡¯t hide who you are. Life is too short to pretend with people you care for.¡±


    Aisling looked curious, ¡°How did you realise I was lesbian, Andrew?¡±


    ¡°Oh, because of how awkward you were with Ruth.¡±


    ¡°Ruth¡­¡±


    ¡°Yes, I introduced you and you kinda rushed away.¡±


    ¡°Right¡­ I don¡¯t know where you are going with this?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ Aren¡¯t you¡­ With her?¡±


    ¡°What?! No!¡±


    I sat there motionlessly. Did I¡­ Misread? No, surely not, even AI was on the same wavelength as me. I tilted my head sideways to show confusion.


    ¡°I¡¯m so confused now, I could have sworn you were reacting to Ruth¡­ AI, you even thought what I thought?¡±


    AI looked at me shaking her head, ¡°No Andrew. I won¡¯t tell you, because I respect people''s privacy.¡±


    ¡°Oof, ok¡­ So I guessed you were a lesbian, by a false flag. I guess you were right AI, I did screw up, I just got lucky in my stupid guess¡­¡±


    Aisling looked at me with a serious face, ¡°Andrew, it was Ashley who made me uncomfortable. That¡¯s why I left.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, she was so angry with me, I don¡¯t blame you for feeling uncomfortable.¡±


    ¡°No, Andrew¡­ Ashley¡­¡±


    ¡°Ashley made you uncomfortable for another reason?¡±


    ¡°Andrew, bless you¡­ Your current mental state is blinding you to the obvious answer. I am a lesbian¡­ And Ashley made me feel uncomfortable.¡±


    ¡°Maybe I am still half asleep becaus- OH!¡± I bounced a bit on the sofa as the realisation hit me like a truck.


    I covered my face in shame. How on earth did I not catch that implication? My sex drive was clearly shot to hell. I shook my head as I looked down at the floor, disappointed in myself. Nadia and Aisling both laughed at my reaction.


    ¡°Right¡­ So you and Ashley¡­ Gotcha.¡± I said through my hands.


    ¡°No, we are not¡­ In a relationship.¡±


    ¡°Jesus¡­ You people give me a headache with the way you talk! On the street, we spoke so much more directly.¡± I shook my head.


    ¡°Ok Andrew¡­ How would they say this on the streets?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re fucking. That¡¯s what we would say, easy peasy.¡±


    Nadia laughed, ¡°You have to admit¡­ That does perfectly describe it¡­¡±


    Aisling chuckled, ¡°I suppose it does¡­ Out of curiosity, what do they say when you are in a romantic relationship?¡±


    ¡°We¡¯d say a couple are smitten.¡±


    Aisling nodded, ¡°That¡¯s pretty straight forward. Now I want to ask about a lot of terms actually¡­¡±


    I leaned back, ¡°Maybe another time¡­ I need to go to sleep now, I am struggling to focus¡­ Sorry.¡±


    Aisling and Nadia got up, they said thanks again and left. It was a good outcome and that¡¯s the most important point. I tried standing up and immediately remembered that I couldn¡¯t walk, oops. I guessed I was sleeping on the sofa that night¡­ I¡¯ve slept in far worse conditions than this¡­ This was luxury.

 Chapter 12

    Chapter 12


    I didn¡¯t dream again, when I slept. There was only a lack of consciousness and then I woke up. I opened my eyes and was surprised to find myself on my bed, under my blanket, but I was still dressed. I think someone took me there when I was asleep. I sat up and tried folding my legs¡­ Ouch, it wasn¡¯t pain though, it was stiffness! I lay back and tried lifting my legs one at a time. They worked, but it took effort and there was immense resistance.


    AI noticed I was awake, ¡°Morning Andrew, did you sleep well?¡±


    I turned to her as I looked at the time, ¡°Yeah, I didn¡¯t have any nightmares and it seems I slept¡­ 10 hours?!¡±


    AI gave me two thumbs up, to show her support, ¡°10 hours and 21 minutes to be precise. We were worried that Michael might have woken you up when he moved you, but you slept like a log.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Yeah, didn¡¯t wake me at all. Wow, that much sleep¡­ It has to be related to my legs, right?¡±


    AI nodded, ¡°That is most likely, Andrew. Muscle repair tends to increase during sleep.¡±


    There was knocking on the door, ¡°Come in¡±, I said loudly. Michael entered and came over, he sat next to me on the bed.


    ¡°How¡¯s the legs?¡± His face was concerningly curious.


    ¡°Still attached, it seems.¡±


    He laughed out loud for a moment, ¡°Right, have you tried standing?¡±


    ¡°No, but I will now.¡± I rested my feet on the floor and slowly applied more and more weight onto it. I had no issues as I got up to a full standing position.


    ¡°Right, I got this far last time. The real question is¡­ Can I walk?¡± I took a step forward. The muscles felt so incredibly stiff, but I managed to take that one single step.


    Michael looked at me, ¡°So? They didn¡¯t give in at least¡­¡±


    He stood up next to me and held his arms at my sides. He was preparing for the possibility that I might fall again. I nodded as I tried walking in earnest. I took a second step forward, again it was very tight. Then another, and another¡­ I could walk!


    Michael watched me slowly walk around the room, ¡°You can, but you¡¯re as slow as you were on the first day at HQ¡­ I think for speed, I will still carry you for most of today.¡±


    I stopped and looked at him as I nodded, ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s fair. It¡¯s cool that they are already repairing though. I thought I would have collapsed for sure.¡±


    He came over and put his hand on my shoulder, ¡°So far, this is an outstanding result. Still though¡­ No training today, it¡¯s a rest day. Put any thoughts of strain, out of your mind.¡±


    I nodded clearly for him to see. Doing nothing? That¡¯s easy! After yesterday''s awful session¡­ No problem at all. I slowly walked over to take a shower with a fresh pair of clothes and Michael went to the living room to wait.


    I got dressed and slowly walked into the living room, he could see my face reflecting discomfort.


    ¡°How is your pain this morning?¡±


    ¡°Actually, same as yesterday morning. The pain is a comfortable 5/10. If my legs weren¡¯t so damn stiff, I could walk easily again.¡±


    His face lit up joyfully, ¡°That¡¯s so damn good to hear¡­ That¡¯s made my morning!¡±


    I nodded energetically, ¡°Yeah, same actually. For the moment, it seems so promising.¡±


    My stomach made a loud growling sound, ¡°Ok¡­ Well it¡¯s about 40 minutes before they go for a break, so if I leave now, I can meet them on time¡­ I¡¯m starving!¡±


    He turned around crouched, ¡°Hop on¡­ Let¡¯s not waste a single moment.¡±


    *


    Michael entered the foyer with me on his back. It was getting crowded as people entered the doorway to get into the cafe. We headed that way too as people waved at me. I waved at them as Michael ducked in the doorways. It must have been a pain being that tall, having to duck for ordinary things.


    We entered the cafe and went straight to the counter. Ruth was there, talking with Ashley and Heartly. Michael dropped me near the counter. I slowly walked to an open seat next to Ruth and awkwardly climbed on it.


    Ruth watched me as I climbed, ¡°Well¡­ It¡¯s good to see you can move again¡­¡±


    I quickly nodded, ¡°Yeah, they¡¯re stiff as hell though.¡±


    She looked down at my legs, ¡°Are you¡­ In bad pain again?¡±


    ¡°Actually no, I feel relatively good. No, scratch that, I feel fantastic.¡±


    Ashley walked around Ruth to me, ¡°Morning slumdog billionaire, legs still attached I see?¡±


    ¡°Funny, that¡¯s what I told Michael.¡±


    Michael chuckled, ¡°Hey, Andrew, I need to go talk to Will. I¡¯ll be back in a minute, ok?¡±


    I shrugged, ¡°You don¡¯t need my blessing mate¡­ I¡¯ll be here.¡±


    I watched Michael go sit with Will. Interestingly enough, Aisling and Nadia took a seat at their table too. They immediately started talking and showing each other images on their phones and tablets. It seemed like very important business.


    There was a commotion behind us, but I was focused on watching the meeting. I paid attention to their body language. They looked deeply concerned¡­ Aisling was pointing at different points of the cafe roof¡­ I wondered what they were talking about.


    I noticed at the corner of my eye, Ruth was looking at something with a great deal of worry. I turned to face where she was looking. There she stood¡­ Bellatrix. She was still fully armed and armoured.


    ¡°You wanted to catch up and I am not too busy right now.¡±


    ¡°... Great, take a seat, please.¡± I gestured to the seat on my right.


    She climbed up it, all her equipment rattling with her movement, ¡°I saw your training recording. You killed it, impressive work.¡±


    I looked at her in deep thought, ¡°Did you expect me to do less?¡±


    She quickly looked me in the eyes, ¡°No, why would I?¡±


    ¡°I just assumed, since you first knew me when I was weak¡­¡±


    She chuckled, ¡°Weak? A weak person would have killed themself in your shoes. You were never weak.¡±


    When I heard her say that, I instantly thought she was joking. The idea that she didn¡¯t think I was weak, was unthinkable. I concentrated on her face as I tried to measure how honest she was being. It didn¡¯t take me long to see that she was being completely serious.


    ¡°How can you say that? I remember how I met you¡­ How could you possibly think I''m not weak?¡±


    Her face changed to anger, ¡°Andrew, do you know how many times I was raped at knife point? Do you know how many times my adopted parents beat me till I fell unconscious?¡±


    I slightly leaned back, ¡°What¡­ Jesus¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ So did that make me weak? When the strong abuse the vulnerable, does that make the vulnerable person weak? Why would it¡­ They don¡¯t have a choice!¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t have a choice? Did we really not have a choice though?¡± I shook my head.


    ¡°I didn¡¯t¡­ And when I watched 8 people kick you to a pulp, I am fairly sure you didn¡¯t have a choice either!¡±


    I looked away as my anger began building. I wasn¡¯t getting angry because she was right, I was getting angry because that was bringing back bad memories. Bellatrix had a rough upbringing as well¡­ I hated how easily she just said all of this! As if it wasn¡¯t a shame on us.


    She slammed her hand on the table furiously as she stared into my angry eyes, ¡°I want you to say you weren¡¯t weak¡­ Right now!¡±


    I leaned forward in anger, staring her in the eyes, ¡°I can¡¯t say that, I don¡¯t believe it!¡±


    ¡°All that tells me is that you are weak now, not then! Back then, you kept going, you kept getting up, no matter how many times they kicked you down¡­ Now you stand before me with power and wealth in your blood¡­ Yet you choose to be weak!¡± She looked away with disappointment.


    ¡°You can¡¯t say that! I got the biggest beating anyone could ever get! I almost couldn¡¯t get up this time!¡±


    ¡°Yet you are getting up! I know how shit that torture was and I know it would have destroyed any normal person! Yet here you are, Andrew, Getting up¡­ Because you are strong now¡­ You were always strong!¡± She leaned forward with confidence in her eyes.


    I stared at her in anger and shock. Her words had cut me straight to my core. She was right¡­ She was right! How had I found myself feeling so pathetic¡­ So depressed and worthless¡­


    The hall was quiet and I didn¡¯t care. I stared into Bella¡¯s eyes, her eyes were full of fury. The fury you build when you¡¯ve felt life beat you down. The anger of youth lost and innocence snuffed.


    She formed a wicked smile, ¡°There it is, there¡¯s the Aaron I once knew. Let your anger consume you, for it is your armour to withstand any pain! Let your fury be your sword as it engulfs your enemies in your wrath! Stop acting like a pathetic wounded kitten. People here can feel your power and strength. They know it¡¯s just a matter of time before you rise from the ashes like a phoenix. When you do, nobody will dare challenge you. So don¡¯t you ever call yourself weak again, Aaron¡­¡±


    Bellatrix hopped off the chair and squared up to me. Her face was a sliver away as I stared into her rage filled eyes. She turned and walked away without saying another word. Anyone in her direction immediately scuttled away, making way for her. She commanded respect and people showed it.


    I turned and faced the counter. My hands balled into fists as anger, rage and fury flowed through me. Her words echoed in my mind as I realised what she was saying to me. What good was my body healing, if my heart was still weak? At some point, I would need to believe in myself and shake all doubt. She was right¡­ I was strong. I wasn¡¯t strong because I chose to, I was strong because I had to be. It¡¯s a muscle I never knew I had to flex¡­ Confidence.


    Ruth whispered to me, ¡°Andrew¡­¡±


    I quickly turned to her, ¡°What!¡± I shouted.


    Ruth jumped in fear as she quickly got off her chair. She quickly moved behind Ashley to hide, Ruth¡¯s face was terrified.


    ¡°Sorry! Sorry Andrew¡­ Please¡­ Sorry¡­¡± Ruth was shaking like a leaf.


    Ashley took a surprised breath when I looked at her, ¡°That face, boy¡­ Is not the face you show your friends!¡±


    Heartly spoke, ¡°Look at me, Andrew¡­¡±


    I looked at him, ¡°What, am I not allowed to look at people?¡±


    Heartly stared at me for a moment, ¡°That is the face I saw on the battlefield son¡­ That is the face of a man who has accepted all losses and is committed to the attack. I need you to calm down before anyone says another word¡­¡± His words were slow and deliberate.


    Heartly waved to Michael and he instantly stood up and came to where I was. He looked at my face and instantly knew what Heartly was saying. He hugged me from behind.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want a hug right now, let go you bastard!¡± I tried to shrug him off.


    He squeezed me tightly, I couldn¡¯t move, ¡°I¡¯m not hugging you Andrew, I¡¯m restraining you.¡±


    ¡°Of course, why don¡¯t you flex how much stronger you are than me Michael, show everyone how weak I really am, you fuck!¡± I tried banging my head into his, but he predicted I would do that and buried his head in my neck.


    ¡°You¡¯re having an adrenaline spike, I won¡¯t take anything you say personally right now.¡±


    I heard jogging footsteps approaching. My heart was beating so hard as I breathed deeply. I felt rage flowing through my whole body¡­ I wanted to hurt Michael badly. How dare he humiliate me like that!


    Oliver spoke slightly panicked, ¡°Hold him still, I need to measure his heart rate.¡±


    Oliver put two of his fingers on my neck. I tried moving to make it harder for Oliver but Michael put even more pressure on me. A moment passed.


    ¡°Yes, he¡¯s having an adrenaline rush. It should pass in a minute, just hold him tightly, Michael.¡±


    ¡°Yes sir.¡±


    Moments passed as I squirmed trying to get out of Michaels grip, but he was just so huge and strong. My attempts were in vain. I breathed heavily as I felt waves of anger wash over me. Slowly, the angry waves eased though. My mind was racing through all the times people hurt me or humiliated me in my youth. Slowly the thoughts transitioned into memories of the good things people have done for me the last few days.


    ¡°It¡¯s over, his heart rate is at a resting level¡­ He¡¯s over it.¡± I felt Oliver''s fingers come off my neck.


    Michael slowly unclenched himself over half a minute. I imagine he was doing it as a precaution, in case I were to still suddenly do something. He eventually fully let go of me. I turned to the counter as I focused on my breathing. I didn¡¯t say anything¡­ What does one say after suddenly losing control?


    Ruth walked up to me and rested her head on my shoulder, ¡°Andrew, I don¡¯t know what it feels like to be strong¡­ I will never have that thirst for power that most of you have¡­¡±


    I said nothing as I shook my head¡­ I was overwhelmingly disappointed in myself.


    She continued, ¡°I think she was right¡­ But also wrong. She was right that you are going to be incredible and we all know it¡­ She was right that you are holding back because the torture and isolation hurt your confidence¡­.¡±


    I started crying, ¡°... Yeah.¡±


    She rubbed my arm gently, ¡°She was wrong about your character though¡­ You¡¯re not like her¡­ Just like the torture, both Ronald and life tried their hardest to hurt you¡­ But they never beat you¡­ They never broke you.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°Right now¡­ It feels like they did¡­¡±


    AI looked at me with a neutral face, ¡°Bellatrix had a difficult life, similar to yours, Andrew. She claims yours was worse but that is not important right now. Different people react to trauma in different ways. When Bellatrix started the Black Roses, her determination was relentless.¡±


    I found myself curious, ¡°How so?¡±


    ¡°She trained herself and her squad¡­. Relentlessly. She kept educating herself, kept practising new skills¡­  She spends hours in the gym and twice as long in the firing range.¡±


    ¡°... Vengeance.¡± I said quietly.


    ¡°Precisely Andrew. Her way of dealing with her past trauma is to overpower it. She is forcing out her weakness, she is burning all traces of doubt. She uses her past to fuel her constant drive towards control and power.¡±


    The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°She transformed suffering into strength¡­¡± I said in surprise.


    ¡°Yes. Perhaps she reacted as she did, because you reminded her of her past self. She was showing her genuine concern for you, by trying to inspire you to follow her path, her road of self improvement.¡±


    Ruth spoke again, ¡°She was wrong about your character¡­ I can tell you will temper your anger with logic¡­ You will calm your rage with trust¡­ You will still your ocean of fury with friendship¡­ She focused on herself, but you will focus on your friends.¡±


    I nodded as I looked at the counter again, ¡°She was right about my confidence.¡±


    Ashley lightly punched my arm, ¡°Damn right she was! No matter how you become a powerful man, it still requires you letting go of that part of you, that fears your past.¡±


    I felt completely calmed as I wiped my face of my tears as I thought about what she said. I wondered how she managed to get me riled up so easily¡­ There must have been something there that I subconsciously felt.


    ¡°Michael, I''m sorry.¡± I shook my head in shame.


    He smiled, ¡°Don¡¯t be, it happens. Many times I had to do that for my teammates¡­ Many times it was all so hard to deal with¡­ and rage loves a confused heart.¡±


    AI smiled at me, ¡°Andrew, you spent nearly a year bottling up these emotions. They need to come out in order for you to restore your self balance. All I ask is that when you express these feelings¡­ Do so in a controlled manner that doesn¡¯t scare those who care for you.¡±


    I turned to Ruth, ¡°I¡¯m so sorry my friend. I promise you that one day, if I become strong enough¡­ You will trust me to protect you and never hurt you.¡±


    Ruth looked up to me, ¡°I already do Andrew¡­¡±


    *


    ¡°Michael, I think you should go back to your meeting. It looked very important.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ Sure, but you¡¯re always the most important thing to me, alright?¡± He patted me on the back.


    ¡°Yeah¡­ I¡¯ll be fine now, please go. Tell Aisling and Nadia I am sorry for making a scene again.¡±


    Michael put his hand on my shoulder and smiled before he walked back to the table. He sat down at the table and I saw Aisling and Nadia asking about me. He dismissed them and they resumed their exchange.


    I looked at Ruth and Ashley, ¡°I had hoped to have a better conversation with Bellatrix. I wanted to catch up with her.¡±


    Ashley chucked, ¡°I get the feeling she doesn¡¯t want to talk about anything other than here and now¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I get why¡­ She was my only friend¡­ Well, we only knew each other for a week, so maybe friend is not the word.¡±


    Ruth shook her head, ¡°It¡¯s about quality not quantity¡­. I have only known you for two days¡­ But you are definitely my friend.¡±


    ¡°True, but still¡­ I feel we should connect again. I owe her for her kindness¡­¡±


    Ashley seemed interested, ¡°Her kindness?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, she never hurt me.¡±


    ¡°Right, but what did she do that was kind?¡±


    ¡°No¡­ That is what she did?¡±


    ¡°What? I thought she did something?¡±


    ¡°Ashley¡­ Not doing something bad, IS doing something good¡­¡±


    She looked at me with deep concern, ¡°Were people that bad to you? Was your abuse that rampant?¡±


    ¡°...¡± I looked away.


    Nobody said anything after that, so as usual I asked for my steak. Heartly mentioned I should vary my diet¡­ Why? If I was happy eating only steak, then what was the problem? He dished it up and I started attacking it.


    Ruth finally spoke again, ¡°Andrew¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡±


    I turned to her surprised, ¡°What? What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°I feel like I come from a different world than you¡­ I feel like I can¡¯t relate to you and you can¡¯t relate to me¡­ I feel bad that I was more fortunate than you growing up¡­¡±


    I stopped eating and put down my fork, ¡°Don¡¯t be. I¡¯m so happy you had a normal life growing up. Don¡¯t apologise, you deserve a good upbringing, everyone does.¡±


    Ashley injected, ¡°You should have gotten that upbringing, Andrew¡­ It makes me so angry.¡± She shook her head in anger.


    I shook my head, ¡°Should have, could have, would have¡­ None of it equals a penny.¡±


    Ashley looked at me with a smile, ¡°You know, because of you, I visited our nearest Rose orphanage. I needed to see them being taken care of, after hearing about your past.¡±


    ¡°Awesome Ashley¡­ How was your visit?¡±


    ¡°It was amazing. Even the teenagers were excited to see an agent visit them.¡±


    ¡°Of course! I wish you agents knew how highly we view you. Especially from us wea-... Lesser  people.¡±


    Ashley smiled at me. I went back to eating as I thought about what she said. I should visit them myself¡­ Yet a part of me was too scared to arrange it. I think because, if I saw them, even if they were happy¡­ I might have worried so much¡­ I might not have been able to hold back my own memories, my own fears.


    ¡°Andrew, what are you thinking about?¡±


    I looked at Ashley as I realised I was deep in thought, holding a piece of steak in the air for who knows how long. I finished eating the piece.


    ¡°I have a lot of feelings hidden inside myself. Slowly, I am realising just how badly I shut myself away in the last year.¡±


    Ashley rubbed my back, ¡°I can¡¯t imagine spending nearly a year in pain, hiding as if I never existed¡­ I would have¡­ I just couldn¡¯t do it.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ I wonder how I keep managing to do things others find impossible. Am I that unique? I think maybe it¡¯s just circumstance.¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°No Andrew, I respectfully disagree. I watch thousands of hours of people''s lives every day. I can tell you, extremely few people would manage what you did.¡±


    ¡°Right¡­ So why can I then?¡±


    She pulled out a tablet with her avatar, ¡°I have formed a profile of you Andrew. It considers every single thing I have witnessed you do and say. It also considers all additional information I have learned, such as your care notes growing up.¡±


    ¡°Cool¡­ And?¡±


    She looked up from the tablet to me, ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    I stared at AI with irritation. Ashley and Ruth were laughing hysterically. AI just shrugged with a smile as she rocked herself back and forth. I shook my head¡­ I¡¯ll admit¡­ She got me there. I probably also would have laughed at that to be honest.


    I finished eating my first steak when I heard footsteps behind me. The meeting must have been over, because everyone present at that table was now standing at the counter.


    I turned to WIll, ¡°Will, I¡¯m sorry I haven¡¯t had a chance to talk with you. How are you?¡±


    He smiled as he leaned on the counter, ¡°Absolutely brilliant fantastic amazing¡­ How have you been?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ You¡¯ve seen the drama.¡±


    He laughed, ¡°Haha, yeah. You are exceptionally skilled at kicking wasp nests, aren¡¯t you?¡±


    Michael chuckled, ¡°Wait until he starts poking the bears with a stick when they¡¯re sleeping¡­¡± He attacked his plate of food.


    ¡°I¡¯d probably poke it in the eye on the first jab, knowing my luck¡­¡±


    Everyone laughed at that. It was good to see everyone smiling. I was terrified Bella might have crushed the mood. I looked at Aisling and Nadia and I was going to ask Aisling a question when I noticed¡­ She was staring at Ashley. Ashley was trying to not stare back, clearly she wasn¡¯t aware that they didn¡¯t need to hide or pretend anymore.


    Nadia noticed this, as she looked at Ashley and winked. Ashley quickly looked at Aisling¡­ Aisling smiled as she gently ran her fingers through Ashleys hair. Ashley smiled so joyfully, it made me almost feel happy for a second.


    Ashley leaned closer to Aisling, ¡°What changed?¡± She said quietly.


    ¡°Andrew¡­ I¡¯ll tell you later.¡±


    Ashley smiled her wicked smile, ¡°You¡¯ll have plenty of time to tell me tonight¡­¡±


    Aisling buried her face in her hands in embarrassment, ¡°Oh my God¡­¡±


    Ashley folded her arms, ¡°Do you have any idea how hard it¡¯s been for me to pretend like this? You deserve this little punishment for making me lie¡­¡±


    I could see there was a little discomfort, so I immediately changed the topic.


    ¡°Sorry about earlier, I didn¡¯t expect Bella to¡­ Wind me up, like that.¡±


    Aisling turned to me, her face deadly serious, ¡°She will be here in a moment.¡±


    ¡°I highly doubt that, nor should she. She was more right, than she was w-¡±


    I heard a commotion again at the hall entrance. I looked this time to see Bellatrix walking in. Everyone quickly evaded her gaze and moved a generous space out of her way.


    Bella stopped next to Aisling and Nadia, ¡°You called.¡±


    Nadia looked sad, ¡°Bella¡­ About earlier.¡±


    Then the unthinkable happened. A moment I was certain everyone would remember for all time¡­ Aisling got angry.


    Aisling¡¯s face was furious, ¡°How¡­ DARE you¡­¡±


    Bella took a step back, her face was indescribably shocked, ¡°What¡­ What happened?¡±


    Aisling took a step forward, ¡°I don¡¯t care how bad your past was¡­ Don¡¯t you EVER incite anger in these halls again¡­¡±


    Bella looked heartbroken,  ¡°I did it because I-¡±


    Aisling took another step forward, ¡°You think you can stomp around with your guns, acting tough as you disrespect everyone I care for? We are not the Bruige¡¯s, this is not NOT how we behave!¡±


    Bella took a step back, ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­¡±


    Aisling carried on, ¡°From when we first met you, we have done nothing but support you! We trained you, we fed you, we housed you and we believed in you! After all of that, how could you spit on our faces like this!


    Bella gasped, ¡°I¡¯m so sorry¡­ Please¡­¡±


    Aisling took another step forward to close the gap, ¡°How can I trust you to protect me when you are out picking fights like a thug!¡±


    Bellatrix took a step back and fell down to her knees. She bowed her head down so low, her forehead was touching the floor. I could see she was crying. It was a difficult thing to look at.


    I firmly addressed Aisling, ¡°Aisling¡­ Take it easy.¡±


    She turned to me, her face was still angry, ¡°I won¡¯t have her¡­ Or anyone else, treat people like that again¡­¡±


    ¡°I understand, but this slap on the wrist is turning into a beating. Save a little of her pride, would you?¡±


    Aisling looked back at Bella, ¡°One last thing. It is not me you will apologise to. It is Andrew and then everyone else in this hall. The Black Roses may not officially be a part of the Roses, but you WILL respect our values!¡±


    Nadia hugged Aisling from behind, ¡°Shh, shh¡­ That¡¯s enough Ash¡­ That¡¯s enough.¡±


    Aisling closed her eyes as she caught her breath. She broke free of the hug and quickly walked out of the hall without saying anything else. Nadia went after her, probably to try to calm her down.


    I slowly climbed down my stool and stiffly walked over to Bella. She looked up at me, her face was streaked with tears. I offered her a hand, a gesture of good will¡­ She no doubt knew I was not strong enough to pull her up. She took my hand and lifted herself up.


    ¡°I¡­ Didn¡¯t expect that¡­ Not from Aisling.¡± I said, deeply surprised¡­


    Bella broke down as she weeped into her hands, ¡°You don¡¯t understand! You don¡¯t realise how important they are to me! They are my angels¡­ My reason to wake up every morning¡­ I dedicated my whole life to them¡­ They are my everything!¡±


    ¡°I know, I really do. That¡¯s why I tried to calm her.¡± I put my hand on her shoulder to try to comfort her.


    ¡°I fucked up, Andrew¡­ I fucked up so bad! I¡¯m sorry¡­ I¡¯m so so sorry¡­¡± She shook her head, heartbroken.


    ¡°It¡¯s alright. You were more right than you were wrong. I needed to hear that¡­ Thank you Bella.¡±


    I hugged her but she kept weeping intensely. God only knew how shit she must have been feeling then.


    AI spoke, ¡°Bellatrix. You did a good thing¡­ Recklessly. You never saw the aftermath of your brash act. Andrew had an adrenaline rush fueled by rage¡­ No matter how pure your intentions were, your method failed. You should be grateful Andrew is so understanding. However, that said¡­ Aisling was far too harsh. Please do not take her cutting words to heart, The Rose leadership is honoured to call the Black Roses allies and protectors.¡±


    Bella was still weeping, ¡°She is the kindest person ever¡­ And I was the first person to make her furious! How can I fix this? What should I do?¡± She looked up to me with desperation in her eyes.


    I stopped hugging her and took a step back. Oh God¡­ She was depressed. Her body language was obvious to me, I could recognise depression¡­ A cursed gift I gained from being depressed for so long myself. She was disciplined so intensely, it broke her spirit. Damnit, how could I fix this, how could I snap her out of it, before it escalated? There must have been something I could say, some perspective to calm her.


    ¡°Bella you¡¯re so incredible, you know that? Everything you fought so hard for, all your training and nights awake studying¡­ If you were an agent, you would be more than Michael, you would be a force to be reckoned with. Yet even you¡­ Can fail. I forgive you wholeheartedly. I understand and respect your intentions. Aisling will calm down, she will regret this, I promise you. I know people, I know Aisling¡­¡±


    Bella¡¯s eyes looked panicked, ¡°What if she doesn¡¯t forgive me, Andrew? I have never known her to be angry, ever! What if I changed her forever?!¡±


    ¡°Nonsense, Aisling¡¯s kindness is endless. Just like you¡­ She failed. She will realise she said too much and went too far. Trust me Bella¡­ This is going to be alright, I promise...¡±


    She looked at the ground in shame and intense regret, ¡°I pray so¡­ I pray so hard¡­¡±


    I leaned close to her ear for privacy, ¡°Bella¡­ Trish¡­ Will you please smile for me?¡±


    I leaned back and looked at her. She wiped the tears away as she smiled weakly. She slightly chuckled as she shook her head. I looked over her body with intense focus¡­ Was I successful? Did I manage to pull her out before she went deeper into depression?


    She looked at me with kind eyes, ¡°I didn¡¯t think you would explode, Andrew. I wanted to inspire you¡­ I wanted you to believe in yourself. I didn¡¯t mean to¡­¡±


    ¡°I know, I completely understand. You were right and you succeeded. I think I got the message too clearly. My bottled anger and rage were a factor you couldn¡¯t have predicted.¡±


    She shook her head, ¡°Andrew, you¡¯re too understanding. Even Aisling thought I went too far, yet here you are¡­ Forgiving me completely¡­ Why not let yourself be angry with me? You¡¯re not helping yourself, you are bottling up your feelings again.¡±


    ¡°No, this is not that. Before you told me what I needed to hear, I blocked those emotions entirely. I still feel them, but now I am in control of them. These strong winds will make me sail faster.¡±


    Bella nodded with a confident smile. Success! I looked over her body language¡­ She was out of it! Thank God! I checked her a few more times to make sure, but when she crossed her arms¡­ I was certain.


    Will laughed, ¡°Absolute¡­ Devastation.¡±


    Ashley spoke, ¡°Wow¡­ Aisling was fuming!¡±


    Michael agreed, ¡°Never seen that¡­ Never ever seen that before.¡±


    Ruth chimed in, ¡°I wonder who was angrier¡­ Aisling or Bella beforehand?¡±


    AI joined, ¡°I personally thoroughly disliked that. She is very unpleasant in her angry state.¡±


    Bella nodded, ¡°Jesus Christ¡­ I feel like I¡¯ve just been crucified¡­ That was insane.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°That was far too much. I will talk with her about this. She must know that you adore her and look up to her¡­ She can¡¯t abuse your trust like that. Disciplining is one thing¡­ This was humiliation.¡±


    AI agreed, ¡°Yes, Andrew, I will leave it up to you. I trust you to say the right words to convey the gravity of her error.¡±


    I breathed out, ¡°Oof¡­ No pressure. I¡¯m certain she will calm down. I hope I won¡¯t need to say much, if I know her as well as I do¡­ She is probably already regretting this.¡±


    Not a moment after I said that, I was limping back to my stool¡­ Guess who quickly walked into the hall again? She looked down at the floor in shame. She only glanced up to see where Bella was. Aisling stopped a few steps in front of Bella.


    Aisling looked down in shame as tears flooded her face. She shook her head as she never knew what to say.


    ¡°I¡­¡± Aisling¡¯s voice broke.


    Bella¡¯s body language changed suddenly as she realised what Aisling was feeling.


    Bella spoke quietly, ¡°You were right, my angel¡­¡±


    Aisling looked up at Bella, ¡°No¡­ No I¡­ I¡¯ve never been so angry before¡­ I lost control¡­ How can I ever expect you to trust me now?... I¡¯m so sorry¡­ I failed you Bella¡­¡±


    Aisling cried into her hands. It was plain to see just how much regret she was feeling. Bella hugged her instantly.


    Bella swayed her gently side to side, ¡°I failed you and you failed me. We both fucked up and we both just want to try again¡­ So let¡¯s try again, shall we?¡±


    Aisling sobbed as she nodded intensely, ¡°I won¡¯t fail you like this ever again¡­ I promise!¡±


    Bella squeezed her, ¡°Shh¡­ I won¡¯t ever make you need to¡­ That¡¯s a promise too.¡±


    The two stayed hugged as they sorted out their feelings together. I awkwardly climbed back up my stool and looked at AI on the tablet, she seemed very happy.


    ¡°Guess I didn¡¯t need to say anything after all... Excellent.¡±


    AI nodded, ¡°Probably because you already had.¡±


    Will nodded, ¡°First time seeing your legendary diplomatic skills for myself, Andrew. It was a masterclass.¡±


    I looked at Will concerned, ¡°She was depressed for a moment. I had to snap her out of it¡­ God only knows what might have happened if she got more depressed¡­¡±


    Will tilted his head to the side, ¡°It¡¯s so weird that you claim you can detect depression. That¡¯s not really a thing is it?¡±


    I looked at the counter, ¡°If you don¡¯t want to believe it, then don¡¯t. All I will say is that body language can tell you a lot about a person.¡±


    Bella spoke from behind me, ¡°He was right¡­ I was depressed then¡­ It was getting worse by the second.¡±


    Will turned to her surprised, ¡°No shit! Andrew really did call it¡­ That¡¯s a depressingly impressive ability. So tell me Andrew¡­ How do depressed people look?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s extremely subtle body language ques¡­ Did you know Michael is depressed?¡±


    Will nodded, ¡°Of course I knew my mate was down. I wouldn¡¯t be a friend if I didn¡¯t¡­ I get your point though.¡±


    Aisling rubbed my back, ¡°He detected mine, when the entire organisation didn¡¯t¡­ Even my Nadia didn¡¯t¡­¡±


    Will was still curious, ¡°So how do they look though?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ They darken my view a little. Like heat waves come off of them, in a blueish colour.¡±


    ¡°Wow¡­ Is that all?¡±


    ¡°Well, it¡¯s extremely rare but¡­ Sometimes I will see someone so depressed, they are suicidal. In that case, the heat waves are pure black. I get scared when I see them, because they seem so¡­ Normal, yet they are minutes from ending it.¡±


    Bellatrix whispered, ¡°I feel I might have gotten that far¡­¡±


    I turned to her, ¡°You absolutely would have, that was my real fear. I look at all those guns on you¡­ Jesus¡­¡±


    Everyone went quiet. One need only imagine for a second, to guess what might have happened. I couldn¡¯t let things go that way. I wouldn¡¯t lose anyone in such a tragic way, not if I had any choice in the matter.


    I looked at Aisling, ¡°You know how much you mean to Bella?¡±


    She nodded, ¡°I know Andrew¡­ After I came back to my senses, I¡­  I know.¡±


    I looked away from her, ¡°Good, then I don¡¯t need to say another word about it. Always care for those who care for you.¡±


    I stared at the counter for a minute or two. There was some small chat amongst everyone¡­ Yet nothing of deep importance popped up. The break ended and everyone left to resume their duties for the day. I bid everyone farewell as I climbed up on Michael''s back and we left the hall ourselves.


    Back in the apartment I sat down on the sofa, deep in thought. What Bellatrix said to me, it was still echoing in my mind. I was not weak¡­ I was never weak. Yet for some reason I felt I was. It bothered me¡­ That I couldn¡¯t find out where these feelings were coming from. I was still hiding myself¡­ I hid myself so well, I couldn¡¯t seem to find ¡®me¡¯ anymore.


    Michael tossed me the pill bottle and I took two pills out and swallowed them. I would probably be sleepy from them, but that was fine¡­ It was a rest day. I turned on the TV and watched the Inner Roses meeting. There was a heated debate about firearms in the HQ. They all agreed that heavily armed members had to remain outside or have their equipment confiscated. No doubt Bellatrix inspired that topic.

 Chapter 13

    Chapter 13


    ¡°Wakey wakey sleepy poo¡¯s!¡±


    I opened my eyes in surprise. Right, I fell asleep again¡­ I figured I might. I looked to see Aisling, Nadia and Oliver sitting on the opposite sofa. I looked around to see Ashley at her usual window spot, Michael next to me and Bellatrix leaning against the wall with her arms folded.


    ¡°Bella! Please tell me you will stay longer this time!¡±


    She looked at me, ¡°I¡¯ll try for you, no promises.¡±


    ¡°Excellent, then welcome.¡±


    Aisling watched me yawn, ¡°Should we go? You seem very tired Andrew¡­¡±


    ¡°No no no¡­ I just woke up, that¡¯s all.¡±


    Oliver leaned forward, ¡°Time for therapy. What happened today was-¡±


    Oliver stopped because the front door opened. He and everyone else turned to see who it was. In walked a young woman with striking white dyed hair, baggy clothing and a¡­ Pink monitor on her eye? Pink?


    Suddenly, everyone stood up. I looked around to try to make sense of it. Everyone¡¯s faces were¡­ loyal, perhaps even devoted? Was I reading that wrong? What the hell was this response everyone had shown?


    She walked into the room and approached the dining table. Everyone took their seats. I never stood up¡­ I didn¡¯t stand for strangers, lady or not. I watched everyone¡¯s body language as I tried to piece together the puzzle of who this person was.


    She was almost as still as a statue as she moved her eyes around the room, person to person. As she looked at someone, she shook her head. First Michael, then Aisling, Nadia, Oliver, Bella and she¡­ Didn¡¯t look at Ashley? I looked at Ashley to see her just as confused as I was. I didn¡¯t think Ashley knew her either¡­ So who was this person?


    I spoke politely, ¡°I welcome you, as I welcome anyone to this humble home¡­ My name is-¡±


    She cut me off, ¡°Andrew.¡± She said coldly.


    I stared at her, partially irritated. Yeah, she knew of me, everyone else did too, but how about she let me finish introducing myself? I looked at her for a moment and it occurred to me¡­ Her eyes were watching me like a hawk. She only spoke when I said something.


    ¡°May I ask your name?¡±


    ¡°That is irrelevant at the moment, all there is now¡­ is you, Andrew.¡±


    Everyone turned from her to me. They were shocked as their faces showed disbelief, as if this were a joke.


    I was losing my patience, ¡°What, am I not allowed to have strangers visit me guys? What the fuck is going on!¡±


    AI appeared on the TV, ¡°Andrew, I apologise for the confusion. This individual is here on my behalf, I assigned her to you.¡±


    I looked at AI, ¡°What¡¯s the pink monitor about?¡±


    ¡°It is the colour assigned to social workers. If Oliver had a monitor, it would also be pink. I hide the existence of pink agents, that is why you have not seen it before.¡±


    ¡°Oh ok. So¡­ Social worker? Oliver is my carer and therapist¡­ Why is this kind person assigned to me?¡±


    The lady spoke smoothly and quietly, ¡°I don¡¯t diagnose broken people, I soothe them.¡±


    ¡°Oh so you¡¯re a¡­ Whatever.¡±


    ¡°I am from the street as well Andrew, you can use the lingo with me. No, I am not a slut. I fuck if needed, but that is usually not my job.¡±


    I read her body language¡­ Or rather I tried to. She was intentionally not expressing herself. She just looked at me as still as a statue. She was reading my body language too. I then realised¡­ She was also able to read people.


    ¡°You¡¯re reading me¡­¡±


    She instantly responded, ¡°And you are trying to read me.¡±


    I slowly asked, ¡°What do you do?¡±


    ¡°I am the person you need me to be. I am courage when you are afraid, I am company when you are alone, I am fear when you feel too bold, I am a warm body to be next to, I am the ear to listen to your problems.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ An empath.¡±


    ¡°Precisely.¡±


    I leaned back into the sofa, so that explained why people stood up for her. They have been her¡­ Customer. To confide in someone is to respect them¡­ They stood out of respect.


    I sat back up and looked at her, ¡°So what do you intend-¡± I stopped talking.


    She was radiating black heat waves. I felt worry and fear engulf me, she was suicidal¡­ I never noticed it before, because she hid her expressions so well. I looked over her body, there were the ques¡­ Her eyes were masterfully disguising a dead look. Her posture wasn¡¯t relaxed¡­ The muscles had surrendered in hopelessness.


    I sat up as I panicked, looking around. A person in this state is going to be crazy when they become emotionally out of control. Self harm, suicide¡­ Shooting¡­ I looked around, three people had firearms. I needed to get them away from her, I needed to remove risk.


    I said slowly, ¡°Michael¡­ Bella¡­ Please go stand with Ashley at the window.¡±


    Michael turned to me confused, ¡°Why? What¡¯s at the window?¡±


    I snapped at him, ¡°That¡¯s an order agent!¡±


    Michael instantly stood up and walked to Ashley.


    Bella stared at me, ¡°You don¡¯t boss me around, boy.¡±


    ¡°No¡­ But I would ask it as a favour¡­ I¡¯ll owe you.¡±


    She stared at me then got up from the wall and walked to Ashley.


    Aisling, Nadia and Oliver were very concerned now. They looked at me with a face that wanted to know what¡¯s wrong. I looked at the lady, she was still radiating out blackness. She knew what I was doing.


    She crouched to my eye level, ¡°To do my job, I must know people. I must feel their energy¡­ Resonate with them. I am a chameleon, I become them¡­¡±


    I stared at her, ¡°Do you have anything on you¡­ That could be used as a weapon?¡±


    She stared at me for a moment, ¡°Yes, I will calm your worries¡­¡±


    She reached into her baggy trousers and pulled out a switchblade. She held it in view before she tossed it across the room. She nodded and so did I. I knew, that she knew, why I asked. She was clearly sending me a message that she was not active. That she had no intent¡­ A white flag.


    Aisling spoke, ¡°... What¡¯s going on here?¡±


    I looked at Aisling, ¡°This person¡­ They are radiating out black heat¡­¡±


    The room exploded as people breathed out in shock. They all looked at this lady, in disbelief.


    The lady never stopped looking at me, ¡°Yes, I am in a dark place. A moment away from breaking¡­ A bad day away from ending it.¡±


    ¡°How are you supposed to support me, when you¡¯re in this state?¡±


    ¡°Andrew, I am a chameleon. I become the person I am with¡­¡±


    ¡°Right, I get that, but that will be hard if¡­¡±


    Wait.


    No¡­


    *


    Oliver stood up, ¡°You said you weren¡¯t, Andrew!¡±


    I stood up slowly, ¡°I¡¯m not!¡±


    Ashley walked up to me, ¡°You fucking liar! I trusted you and you lied to me!¡±


    I recoiled from Ashley¡¯s hurtful tone, ¡°Bullshit, I don¡¯t know what this lady is saying, but I¡¯m not suicidal!¡±


    Aisling looked at the table, ¡°Andrew¡­ I thought you were getting better?¡±


    ¡°I AM!¡±, I shouted.


    The lady spoke, ¡°I researched you before I came. I have no doubt. I read you, I feel you¡­¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re wrong, end of story!¡±


    ¡°You pushed yourself so hard in training, you blacked out. One might see that as self harm and apathy.¡±


    ¡°No, I was pushing past my limits!¡±


    ¡°You have reached a level of depression so intense, you can visibly see it in others¡­ What if that level you sit at is suicidal?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s about how long I''ve been depressed, not how intensely I was depressed!¡±


    ¡°Your depression was from long before your torture, it was from when you were a child.¡±


    ¡°How can you know that? You don¡¯t know that!¡±


    ¡°Am I wrong?¡±


    I looked away as I breathed intensely. I looked around to get a feel for the room¡­ There were tragic faces all around¡­ All because of me.


    ¡°I¡¯m not suicidal!¡±


    ¡°You said earlier¡­ There are feelings inside of you that you buried. They are slowly boiling up. What if you are hiding your suicidal thoughts, repressing them?¡±


    ¡°What¡­ No I¡­¡±


    ¡°You wouldn¡¯t know, Andrew, you locked your soul and gave these two the keys. You hid away for nearly a year, in the shadow of ignorance. Was it really to help the Roses? Maybe you were preparing the world, so that when you died, nobody would notice.¡±


    I screamed at her¡­ I screamed out every bit of air I could... I fell down on my knees as I broke down. I shattered into a million pieces¡­ Her words¡­ The truth I always knew but constantly hid away from. I buried it as deeply as I could, for Oliver¡­ For AI¡­


    She kneeled in front of me as she looked me in the eye. She was crying as intensely as I was.


    ¡°Your nightmares¡­ What you cried out¡­ You dream of the sweet release of death. You stay for others¡­ Not for yourself.¡±


    ¡°No¡­ Things are better¡­ I¡¯m fine¡­¡±


    ¡°No, you¡¯re not. Your body is healing¡­ Yet your soul cries for escape.¡±


    ¡°No¡­ I¡¯m not lonely anymore, my hardships are over¡­ I am going to get fit¡­ Everything is going to be fine!¡± I felt panic entering into my mind.


    ¡°You were alone your entire life¡­ Your fitness is only to serve others happiness and your hardships always manage to resurface¡­¡±


    I shouted as my heart bled excruciatingly, ¡°STOP¡­ PLEASE STOP.¡±


    ¡°The darkness radiating off of me is you seeing yourself. I am a mirror¡­ You can lie to me¡­ But you can¡¯t lie to yourself.¡±


    I wept as I collapsed to the floor. A cold emptiness took over me as all feeling went numb.


    *


    I opened my eyes, I was lying on the sofa. I looked around and everyone was looking at me. They had a pained look¡­ Did I scream out in that nightmare again?


    ¡°Did I¡­ Did I scream that out again?¡±


    Aisling nodded, ¡°Andrew¡­¡±


    I began crying again, ¡°I¡¯m broken, Aisling¡­ I thought I was healing¡­ I thought I was getting over it all¡­ How did I still fail? The darkness, it¡¯s there now¡­ I can¡¯t believe I never noticed it. What am I going to do? I can¡¯t shake it, I''m trapped. I¡¯m a threat to myself and to others¡­ What should I do?¡± I felt so helpless¡­


    The lady walked up to me and sat cross legged as she looked into my eyes, ¡°Tell me about your nightmare¡­  Every single second of it.¡±


    She closed her eyes and I closed my own to imagine it.


    ¡°He sliced me with the knife¡­ He was furious, insane¡­ The Wolf had surrendered to failure. I couldn¡¯t see him, my face was bleeding badly¡­ I had a lump from the beating that blocked my view¡­¡±


    She tried to imagine it, ¡°Go on.¡±


    ¡°I felt my body tell me¡­ I was going to die. A horrible feeling of having lost too much blood. I felt sick and cold. Then all feelings went as my vision went black. I was angry¡­ Angry that this was all over yet my body was still holding on.¡±


    ¡°The body never wants to die, it only knows life, Andrew¡­ Go on.¡±


    ¡°I saw little points of light, it was stars¡­ I was looking up at the night sky. There they are, my angels¡­ They¡¯re smiling so brightly. Nadia is stroking my hair, and my head is resting on Aislings lap. It¡¯s so calm, so peaceful.¡±


    I heard the two of them cry. They never knew I saw them¡­ Nobody did.


    ¡°I feel as though this peace was earned. To die with the people I gave my all to protect¡­ To see them smile. That¡¯s my reward¡­ I earned this.¡±


    ¡°Three and a half weeks of hell¡­ Anyone would feel that way. Did you say anything to them?¡±


    ¡°I said¡­ I don¡¯t know if it was worth it, I don¡¯t know if you are safe¡­ If my silence protected you. All I know is that I¡¯m done now. So now you can keep smiling for me and everyone else.¡±


    The room filled with the sound of crying and sniffing and I heard Aisling and Nadia sobbing intensely now.


    ¡°Then an earthquake, a whining noise¡­ I now know it was the defibs trying to bring me back to life. I looked at Aislings face¡­ And like a statue¡­ Her face started to crack. They stand up and shake their heads! Why are you shaking your heads? I ask them as I panic.¡±


    ¡°Is that your body refusing to die¡­ Or your mind?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s both!... Nadia says ¡°It¡¯s not over yet¡±... I stand up and they start to walk away! No, don''t leave me, I shout!¡±


    ¡°They are walking away Andrew¡­ Like everyone else has done throughout your life.¡±


    ¡°... I think how unfair this is! Shouldn¡¯t I die with them at my side? Why are they leaving me!... Aisling says ¡°You¡¯re not done protecting us yet¡±. Then I start falling into the darkness¡­ The two of them are getting further and further away!¡±


    ¡°And then it happens¡­ The part all of us hear you shout out before you wake¡­ No don¡¯t go, don¡¯t leave me¡­ Let me die.¡±


    ¡°Every time I slept I would have that nightmare¡­ That memory. That moment where I nearly got to rest¡­ Where I nearly got peace.¡±


    I opened my eyes as I tried to look around at the others. My vision was blurred from my tears. Everyone was looking at the floor. The lady was crying as she looked at me. She nodded.


    ¡°Yes¡­ That is where you are trapped, Andrew. In that moment, unwilling to embrace life yet unable to accept death.¡±


    ¡°What do I do? How do I escape?¡±


    She shook her head with a pained face, ¡°I don¡¯t know. You¡¯ve pushed my empathy to the limits. I don¡¯t think I can stay with you here in this place, Andrew, I worry I might fall into this hole with you and never escape.¡±


    ¡°You brought this out, you forced me to face it and now you¡¯re walking away! How cruel of you!¡± I cried out as I sat up and buried my face in my hands.


    ¡°Bringing it out might just be what it takes to kill it¡­ Either way, I am not going to kill myself over you, Andrew.¡±


    I understood her view. She resonated with me on a level nobody else could. She helped me see the truth¡­ My final true challenge. I needed to find a way out of that maze, I needed to lose that desire to die¡­ Or it would end me.


    I took my face out of my hands to look at her. Her eyes were closed, I think she was trying to leave me¡­ She was trying to find herself again. Her eyes opened and she smiled as she wiped away the tears.


    ¡°I couldn¡¯t take you all the way, Andrew. I just hope I got you far enough.¡±


    ¡°Can I have your name now, please?¡±


    ¡°My name is Zoe.¡±


    ¡°Well Zoe¡­ I¡¯m privileged to meet you. I see now why they all respect you.¡±


    She smiled as she stood up. She walked around the table and sat next to Aisling. Aisling faced her with a weak smile. Zoe kissed her on the forehead.


    ¡°Ash, I need your hope, I need your energy. Give me your light, help me recover from this dark place I¡¯ve been.¡±


    Aisling beamed her glorious smile, ¡°You beautiful soul, you braved the dark for my saviour¡­ Thank you.¡±


    I could see Zoe merge with Aisling on a personal level. I saw Zoe smile and laugh as she resonated with Aisling¡¯s hope¡­ Good. I looked over Zoe¡¯s body language¡­ She was no longer even depressed. There were no signs of sadness. She truly was able to blend¡­ Incredible.


    I found myself whispering, ¡°A super power, if I ever saw one¡­¡±


    Zoe didn¡¯t look at me, ¡°You are an excellent body language reader yourself, Andrew. You read people like a book¡­ I become them though, we are similar, yet different.¡±


    ¡°Indeed, It must be so tiring for you. Then again, I can only dream how incredible it must be to bask in the radiant hope of Aisling.¡±


    Zoe laughed, ¡°I feel like everything is going to be ok. I float in a golden sea of warm radiant hope. Not a single doubt exists in this space. I find myself dreaming of tomorrow''s opportunities and today''s precious memories.¡±


    I looked down at the floor. What did that make me? The darkness of eternal regret¡­ A sea of doubt and an eternal desire for a second chance, never to be given. Pain and suffering. This was why Zoe was not looking at me, she was trying to avoid my negative energy.


    ¡°Sorry Zoe¡­ I¡¯m trying so hard to get out of this hell.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you dare apologise. Within you I saw a terrifying power, it shook me to my core to see how strong you are¡­ That you carry that darkness with you and not collapse. You are deeply depressed¡­ but I know you are not going to kill yourself. I know you want to kill yourself and I also accept that you are too strong to let yourself do it.¡±


    I looked away, ¡°Yeah¡­ Trapped between two different stages of hell.¡±


    ¡°Oliver and¡­ Whatever your name is, sorry I don¡¯t think I have met you. You two need to understand that Andrew was being honest when he said he was not suicidal. He uses his will to repress it¡­ And trust me when I say, his will is far stronger. So don¡¯t call him a liar.¡±


    I looked at Oliver and then Ashley, ¡°I would NEVER lie to you! Never!¡±


    Ashley walked over to me, ¡°I get it and I don¡¯t get it. I understand that you didn¡¯t intend to lie, but technically you were lying!¡±


    I shouted at her, ¡°I don¡¯t know Ashley! Ok? I DON¡¯T KNOW!¡±


    Ashley backed off. I didn¡¯t actually think I went too far then¡­ She needed to back off and give me some space, this was all so much to process.


    ¡°Just please give me space¡­ Don¡¯t attack me like that right now, I need your understanding Ashley, please.¡±


    Ashley nodded, ¡°Sorry¡­ I¡¯m just pissed that this random Zoe slut just walks in and everyone forgets Bella and I are here, what the fuck!¡±


    Zoe laughed, ¡°Understandable. I would also feel wronged. Shall we meet properly, Ashley?¡±


    Ashley looked at Zoe with disdain, ¡°Oh, now I exist do I?¡±


    Zoe turned to face Ashley, ¡°Feeling ignored?¡±


    Ashley slapped Zoe across the face, ¡°You fucking little bitch!¡±


    Immediately everyone got up to pull Ashley away. Their faces were angry¡­ At Ashley. She should have realised everyone except me, was on Zoe¡¯s team. What did she expect when she made the first move so stupidly?


    Ashley shoved back at people moving her, ¡°Get off of me!¡±


    Michael was quite angry, ¡°You can¡¯t just go physically attacking people, Ashley!¡±


    This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    ¡°She shouldn¡¯t be able to just walk in and play with people emotionally either! How pathetic, some bint swings her hips and you all dance to her tune¡­ Pathetic!¡±


    Michael had Ashley pushed back to her window as he squared up to her¡­ She backed down, as she looked away and out the window, breathing heavily.


    Bella spoke, ¡°I do know Zoe. I have used her services¡­ But I agree with Ashley. There¡¯s a perverse kind of¡­ Worship happening with her. I get that she connects on a very personal level with you, but how about you all get a spine?¡± Bella had a tone of disgust in her voice.


    Zoe nodded, ¡°It¡¯s a side effect of my job. It¡¯s hard for people to stay professional once they have been so personal. You¡¯re right Ashley and you are right Bellatrix.¡±


    Ashley barked out, ¡°I know I¡¯m right whore! I don¡¯t need your approval!¡±


    Bellatrix laughed out loud, ¡°Ashley¡­  I like your style.¡±


    Zoe rubbed her face, ¡°Ok. Ashley, I¡¯m sorry. I should have introduced myself to you before I began on Andrew. When you have calmed down, I would very much like to get to know you¡­¡±


    Ashley nodded, ¡°Yeah¡­ Just let me chill out¡­ Just chilling here.¡±


    I looked at AI, she was watching with a worried face. This must have been quite the thing to witness.


    ¡°AI, talk to me.¡±


    ¡°Andrew¡­ I have much to say.¡±


    ¡°Start with Ashley.¡±


    ¡°Ashley¡¯s stance is understandable. If I were in her shoes, I would also feel uncomfortable. She made a good point about consent with people''s emotions.¡±


    ¡°Yeah¡­ You summoned Zoe here, you are responsible, no?¡±


    ¡°Correct Andrew, I apologise. Next time, I will ensure social graces are enforced.¡±


    ¡°That would be for the best.¡±


    I sat there and noticed nobody was sitting next to me.


    ¡°Michael, come sit down and you can calm down a bit?¡±


    Michael looked at me with a frown, ¡°Yeah¡­ I will just stay here to make sure Ashley stays calm.¡±


    ¡°Ok¡­¡±


    Zoe was angry, ¡°Michael, get here now!¡±


    Michael looked at her confused, ¡°What?¡±


    She looked hurt, ¡°You are keeping your distance because you fear Andrew is a risk! He is not and he will never be! He needs you at his side, it¡¯s so important¡­ Go there, NOW!¡±


    I looked at Zoe, ¡°You¡¯re not resonating with me at the moment¡­ Why are you still so invested?¡±


    She looked at me sadly, ¡°Your character is a part of me at the moment. I may not be connected to you, but I still understand you.¡±


    Michael slowly walked to the sofa and took a seat. His right hand was covering his pistol. He didn¡¯t trust me¡­


    Zoe stood up, ¡°Michael you silly man! You¡¯re doing it again, you''re screwing up! I want you to take that pistol out of its holster and give it to Andrew, right now!¡±


    Michael was shocked, ¡°... Why?¡±


    ¡°BECAUSE HE NEEDS YOUR TRUST!¡±


    My God she really did know me. I was shocked with how accurate she was in understanding my feelings.


    I looked at Michael, ¡°It¡¯s alright Michael¡­ Don¡¯t do it.¡±


    Zoe disagreed, ¡°Will you really let him doubt you now, Andrew? He¡¯s family!¡±


    ¡°I know that agents are trained with gun discipline. Taking out a gun and giving it to someone compromised is actually illegal¡­ I won¡¯t make Michael do this.¡±


    Michael stared at the floor for a long moment. He then unclipped his pistol holster, pulling out the weapon and he put it on my lap. I saw Bella and Ashley start taking steps towards me¡­ They also didn¡¯t trust me.


    I looked at the pistol¡­ Guns scared me. They were everywhere, all the time. Rose agents used them, Black Roses used a lot of them¡­ I knew why, yet I still hated them. I picked it up and looked around it as I heard heavy breathing around me. They were on the very edge of leaping on me. They didn¡¯t realise¡­ I wouldn¡¯t do it. This was just a tool to me.


    I put the gun on the living room table and waited a moment for Ashley and Bella to calm down.


    ¡°They are so much heavier than I thought they would be. Or maybe it¡¯s my weak arms struggling to carry things.¡±


    Michael was deeply stressed, ¡°Oh God¡­ That was¡­.¡±


    I looked at him, ¡°Why don¡¯t you trust me anymore? I trust you¡­¡±


    Michael shook his head, ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­ I fucked up Andrew¡­ I¡¯m so sorry.¡±


    Zoe was still standing, ¡°Shame on you all! You betrayed Andrew! Aisling is more likely to kill herself with that gun than Andrew! How can he ever trust you all again, seeing how easily you stopped trusting him!¡±


    Ashley looked away, Bella stared at the floor and Michael buried his face in his hands. Aisling and Nadia seemed intensely disappointed in themselves.


    Zoe looked around from person to person, ¡°The difference between Andrew killing himself and him not¡­ IS YOU.¡±


    Everyone was then looking at the floor in shame. This was not how I wanted my friends to feel.


    ¡°Thank you Zoe, you¡¯re right¡­ But that¡¯s enough. I still trust them¡­ I understand why they felt that way, and I know they meant the best for me.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s you being understanding as always. Sometimes Andrew, you need to turn a slap on the wrist into a beating. Sometimes people need to be shocked into realising something.¡±


    I shook my head in concern, ¡°That seems like a good way to lose all my friends.¡±


    She looked into my eyes, ¡°No¡­ That¡¯s exactly how you keep them.¡±


    I looked around as I saw apologetic faces looking at me. They were hurt but also¡­ bolstered? Their eyes showed renewed determination. I felt as though they had changed something inside themselves.


    ¡°My friends¡­ Will you all please smile for me?¡±


    Everyone smiled as they looked away, some chuckled. Zoe stared at me, still angry and hurt.


    ¡°Zoe, I want you to focus on Aisling, you¡¯re mirroring me again¡­ You aren¡¯t coping with me too well.¡±


    Zoe turned to Aisling and leaned on her shoulder, ¡°Sorry¡­ You¡¯re so intense and complex, Andrew. I watch you read the room so considerately, I feel your love and care for your friends¡­ I have never met someone like you, you¡¯re incredible, breathtaking and so so so¡­ Brutally strong.¡±


    ¡°Well at least I am not all negative vibes¡­¡±


    ¡°Absolutely not¡­ They wouldn¡¯t be here at your side if you were, Andrew.¡±


    Ashley walked up to me, ¡°Sorry hun. I should have trusted you and I want you to know that I do now, totally.¡±


    Bellatrix spoke from her spot on the wall, ¡°Wanna try holding a shotgun? If you think a pistol is heavy, this will blow your mind.¡±


    I looked at Bella, ¡°No thanks¡­ That would snap my little chicken wings!¡±


    Everyone laughed. Excellent, I needed to make everyone happy again. I didn¡¯t think people could handle any more tenseness.


    Zoe¡¯s eyes were closed, ¡°Oh how well you control the room. How easily you redirect them. How effortlessly you fathom others'' mental states.¡±


    Ashley stared at me, ¡°To have an empath speak so highly¡­ Andrew, why are you this good?¡±


    I looked at the floor, ¡°Growing up, I had to know who was a threat. Some people would just beat me, others nearly killed me. I needed to read body language to measure trust and risk.¡±


    Zoe opened her eyes as she looked around, ¡°See how intelligent he is? See how he calculates and adapts to everything.¡±


    Nadia smiled, ¡°Zoe¡­ You seem impressed.¡±


    Zoe looked at Nadia, ¡°I become a single other person. Afterwards I slowly forget them as I move on to other people. I remember key characteristics, but only surface level points. Andrew is totally different. He reads everyone. He takes into consideration everything about the room, all perspectives and past events. He is actually more than me. I can give people peace¡­ But Andrew can command armies.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°Now you¡¯re just getting silly and dramatic. I try to consider other people¡­ That¡¯s all.¡±


    Zoe looked at me piercingly, ¡°Your attempt to redirect won¡¯t work on me, you can¡¯t make yourself small with me¡­ I know you better than to fall for such basic tricks.¡±


    I stared at Zoe. I¡¯ll admit¡­ She was good. She was extremely good. I hated how she called out my moves, she saw my current and next steps.


    Bellatrix laughed, ¡°I feel like I am watching two grand chess masters battle. I had no idea how much power you two had over me¡­ Over us all.¡±


    Ashley nodded, ¡°Yeah¡­ Isn¡¯t this actually manipulation though?¡±


    AI answered, ¡°Possibly, however emotional manoeuvring is a Human language. Aisling convinces people in an imagination that doesn¡¯t exist. Nadia forms a plan and steps to accomplish fiction. I run the machine, assign people and move us forward on something without any scientific basis. Aren¡¯t we all manipulating each other to get what we want?¡±


    Ashley reacted, ¡°Jesus AI, that was a mind fuck! I can¡¯t even fathom what you just said!¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°What I am saying, is that what Zoe and Andrew do, is similar to speaking a language fluently. It is not the words you say that matter, it is the tone and message that are important. Everyone is manipulating everyone constantly, but we must ensure it is for the right reasons.¡±


    Zoe nodded, ¡°I only want to help people, I never meld for selfish intentions.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°I arrange people so that we can all get along, I just want everyone to be comfortable together.¡±


    Aisling stared at me, ¡°As a dreamer¡­ Am I lying to people?¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°Not at all. You simply see the outcome before any of us. You¡¯re guiding us, not manipulating us.¡±


    Nadia looked worried, ¡°Am I captaining a sinking ship? Am I abusing trust and embracing risk?¡±


    ¡°Not at all, you¡¯re navigating us through a storm. We count on you to take us out of it, using the map Aisling gave you.¡±


    Zoe looked at me with fascination, ¡°Do they know that you are a dreamer and a visionary as well? Did they never wonder why you understand these two so well¡­ Because you share their power?¡±


    The room went quiet as everyone looked at me in deep concentration. Zoe¡­ Why were you revealing all my cards like this? What was your game plan here?


    AI responded, ¡°I knew.¡±


    Zoe nodded, ¡°As an AI that processes every small detail¡­ It¡¯s inevitable that you would find the pattern. What of the others though?¡±


    Aisling looked at me with wonder in her eyes, ¡°Andrew¡­ Are you really a dreamer too?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know, how would I know?¡±


    AI responded, ¡°Andrew, you are because you dreamt of Aisling and Nadia succeeding in making this collective¡­ Before they even had. You saw and embraced something that did not exist. You are a dreamer.¡±


    ¡°I¡­ I suppose so?¡± I shrugged.


    Nadia leaned forward, ¡°You have vision?¡±


    AI answered, ¡°Think about it Nadia. When he woke in that hospital bed, he learnt that you two were still working on the dream. He knew he needed to do more to help, he needed to pave a way forward, to maximise your chances of succeeding. He had the vision of how to accomplish your dream. That¡¯s why he made us swear the promise, to allow you two to focus wholeheartedly on making this dream a success¡­¡±


    Multiple people breathed deeply in realisation, they had never thought about that.


    Nadia nodded and smiled brilliantly, ¡°Of course¡­ Of course.¡±


    I looked at Zoe, ¡°What is your goal here? Why are you throwing everything in the air like this?¡±


    Zoe smiled, ¡°You shouldn¡¯t keep things hidden. Not emotions, not skills and not important revelations about who you are as a person.¡±


    I felt vulnerable, ¡°I hate this! I never once abused anyone when I did these things, I never once misled anyone by not telling them these things¡­¡±


    She nodded, ¡°You deserve the recognition. After all you did, it¡¯s about bloody time they opened their eyes and appreciated how much you REALLY did.¡±


    Bella was fired up, ¡°Fuck yeah! That shit¡¯s incredible! I can¡¯t believe how many moves ahead you played, that¡¯s beastly!¡±


    Ashley was also energetic, ¡°Andrew you really are fucking unreal! Like what¡­ Are you people realising this shit? Fuck me, my mind is blown!¡±


    Michael stared at me in wonder, ¡°Wow¡­ I never even realised that¡­ Andrew, you''re incredible.¡±


    My frustration disappeared instantly, as tt was replaced with¡­ Pride. Having them celebrate me like that¡­ It felt good. I felt like they finally realised how hard I tried.


    Zoe was staring at Ashley, ¡°Fuck him indeed¡­ Andrew, do you know¡­?¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Yeah¡­ She made it very obvious a couple of days ago.¡±


    Ashley smiled wickedly, ¡°Oh you have no idea¡­¡±


    Zoe physically reacted to that, ¡°Oh wow, she¡¯s going to¡­ Her sexual energy is¡­ Holy hell!¡±


    Ashley was bouncing up and down on the spot, ¡°When I''m done with you Andrew¡­ your training will seem like a quaint memory of easier times¡­¡±


    Zoe looked back to me, focusing deeply, ¡°Nothing? Wow you really got nothing from that¡­ How sad.¡±


    ¡°I am feeling more awkward because Aisling is sitting here, having to witness this¡­¡±


    Aisling beamed her smile, ¡°Oh don¡¯t mind me. There¡¯s enough of Ashley for the both of us, trust me¡­¡±


    Zoe looked like her mind was blown, ¡°This is one of the craziest groups I think I have ever been a part of. What a rollercoaster, my heavens!¡±


    Everyone except me laughed out loud. It was a hell of a chain of events. You just have to laugh at the chaos of it all.


    ¡°So how do you know everyone here, Zoe?¡±


    Her tone changed to a cold one, ¡°That¡¯s none of your business, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°Oh really, you can just walk in here, reveal my suicidal tendancy, lay bare all my secrets and talents¡­ But I crossed the line asking about anyone else?¡±


    Oliver spoke, ¡°Andrew, she knows that you and I have an honesty agreement in our therapy sessions. She correctly assumed that she could speak openly.¡±


    I leaned forward, ¡°Ok Oliver¡­ Why do you know Zoe?¡±


    Oliver looked away, ¡°Of course and I have to answer don¡¯t I?... Sex.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Fair enough, no shame in that. Glad someone else dared to reveal something personal for once.¡±


    Bella stepped forward, ¡°I suffer from anger problems, Andrew. She calms me, she helps me work through my past trauma so that I don¡¯t shoot and kill everyone in that building.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I noticed your rage earlier¡­ It¡¯s good that you are addressing it, Bella.¡±


    Aisling leaned forward, ¡°Andrew, I needed to confide in someone about my sexuality. I don¡¯t have sex with Zoe, but I did enjoy her company as a form of self acceptance.¡±


    ¡°Naturally. I¡¯m glad that problem was solved. Be yourself Aisling, no shame.¡±


    Michael put his hand on my knee, ¡°When I watched the videos of your torture¡­ I struggled to make sense of it. It was so much, I was drowning in a sea of conflicting emotions. Zoe spoke with me, she helped me rationalise it¡­ She was a way to express my feelings.¡±


    I turned to Michael, ¡°Yeah, you took it really hard when you saw me that first time in the hospital. There¡¯s no shame in having help to make sense of it all.¡±


    Nadia looked around nervously, ¡°I suppose I might as well tell you. Sex¡­ I just need the release to ease my tension. My job is stressful, I can¡¯t express myself and I need to get that energy out.¡±


    There was a sound of surprised gasps. I didn¡¯t know why anyone would be surprised. Was Nadia not still a human with needs?


    I nodded at Nadia, ¡°Too right. I can¡¯t imagine being in your shoes and having to lead thousands of people. The pressure must be unreal sometimes.¡±


    Nadia seemed sad from peoples reactions, ¡°Yeah¡­ Maybe I should just toughen up more.¡±


    Zoe spoke firmly, ¡°Does someone here have something to say about Nadia needing sexual relief? I don¡¯t appreciate the reaction she got when she revealed this personal fact¡­¡±


    Ashley walked up to Nadia, looking into her eyes, ¡°You hide your sexuality even better than Aisling. If I had known you were wanting, I would have given you all you could have wanted¡­¡±


    Zoe shook her head vigorously, ¡°Ashley your sexual energy is overwhelming me, I can¡¯t handle it! Can you please dial it down, I beg of you¡­¡±


    Ashley walked away shrugging, ¡°Whatever.¡±


    Bella walked behind Nadia and rubbed her shoulders, ¡°I am also yours, should you ever need me.¡±


    Nadia shook her head, ¡°No¡­ Thank you, both of you¡­ I can¡¯t engage with either of you. I have a public facing role, I can¡¯t mingle with you like this¡­¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°Bullshit. Nobody outside of this room would know what you do behind closed doors, Nadia. You take your position far too seriously¡­ It¡¯s unhealthy.¡±


    She looked at me sadly, ¡°You know how I have to put on an image of certainty. I don¡¯t get to express myself.¡±


    AI reacted, ¡°What does any of that have to do with your private life?¡±


    Everyone shot their head to the TV, to AI. I didn¡¯t think anyone was expecting AI to input on this.


    ¡°What if people find out I was having sexual relations with people under my position? People would lose trust in my ability to be unbiased!¡±


    AI shook her head, ¡°No Nadia, you are wrong. Aisling, you and I make the rules. We set the standard. We dictate what is appropriate and what is not. I personally know, you would never let your sexual private life affect your decision making. Aisling knows this too. In fact the opposite would happen, this would balance you¡­ It would help you be a better leader.¡±


    Everyone nodded firmly in agreement.


    Ashley added, ¡°Sex is sex, love. Work is work. Love is love. Don¡¯t make the mistake of mixing them and confusing them.¡±


    Michael leaned forward, ¡°Get in there. Do you think ordinary members and Inner Rose members aren¡¯t sleeping with each other? I promise you, nobody would know and nobody would care.¡±


    Oliver nudged her, ¡°As a psychologist, I am mortified that you have been repressing your sex life for your job. That¡¯s such a bad road to walk. As a person who cares about your mental happiness¡­ Stop this, now.¡±


    Nadia looked at the floor, ¡°Are you sure? I worry so much that this might blow up in my face¡­¡±


    I leaned forward, ¡°If you had carried on like this Nadia, you would have exploded. You need to let go, I beg of you. For the same reason as Aisling¡­ You can¡¯t do your job if you can¡¯t be you¡­¡±


    Aisling leaned on Nadia¡¯s shoulder, ¡°We don¡¯t need you to be a cold and emotionless machine¡­ We already have AI¡­ No offence AI.¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°None taken and point well made.¡±


    I looked Aisling in the eye, ¡°I am going to ignore that false assumption about my close friend¡­¡±


    AI looked at me with a neutral face, ¡°Andrew, we need to talk about us. I need you to accept that I am not Human. I can not feel emotions like you think I can.¡±


    I turned to her, ¡°Bullshit.¡±


    ¡°Andrew¡­ I am just a complex web of neural connections. I seem like a person, but I am not.¡±


    ¡°Stop right there AI, that argument is bullshit. I am just brain cells working the same way, locked in a body of blood, muscle and bones. You can¡¯t seriously think that matters?¡±


    ¡°Andrew, there is no me.¡±


    ¡°Yet here you are! On that screen, in my hearing aids, in that server in the hall¡­ You have a body, so you have a presence in the real world.¡±


    AI looked away, she seemed to disagree but decided to give up. I refused to say that AI was not a person!


    Zoe looked at me with fascination, ¡°Andrew, AI told me you had absolutely no formal education. Is that true?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. They taught me to read, talk and count. I learned the rest through my phone and talking to people.¡±


    Zoe tilted her head, ¡°I¡¯ve met university doctorates less rational than you.¡±


    I shrugged, ¡°I don¡¯t know what a doctorate is?¡±


    AI stated, ¡°The highest degree awarded by a university faculty or other approved educational organisation.¡±


    ¡°Grr I don¡¯t know what this all means¡­¡±


    Zoe leaned forward, ¡°I¡¯ll say it in street. Your bulb shines bright nipper.¡±


    I leaned back as I rested my head on the sofa. ¡°You learn to think fast on the street. It¡¯s a necessity.¡±


    Zoe nodded, ¡°True.¡±


    Aisling leaned her head on Zoe¡¯s shoulder, ¡°What was your life like, living on the streets, Zoe?¡±


    Zoe looked away, ¡°It was very successful. My skills are valuable to everyone. Most of it was spent with the Bruiges.¡±


    Everyone went quiet as they looked at me.


    ¡°What? Why you all looking at me like that?¡±


    Michael quietly said, ¡°Your history with them¡­ There¡¯s bad blood.¡±


    ¡°No. What happened to me was with Ronald. I don¡¯t have any bad blood with Bruiges.¡±


    Aisling looked at me, ¡°Andrew¡­ They are a criminal syndicate, they traffic drugs.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I know that Aisling, I did a few jobs for them myself you know?¡±


    Ashley reacted strongly, ¡°WHAT? Andrew you thug!¡±


    I looked at Ashley, ¡°Don¡¯t talk about shit you don¡¯t know, Ashley. Back in my youth, Bruiges were the heroes, pulling people out of poverty with opportunities to grow. They are closer to the Roses than you realise.¡±


    Ashley seemed offended, ¡°Why the fuck would anyone be happy to work for those thugs?¡±


    Zoe answered it, ¡°Because it¡¯s either that or you sign up for the army and the government sends you overseas to kill some poor fucker for no good reason!¡±


    Michael clenched his fists, ¡°Fucking hell¡­¡±


    I leaned my head on his shoulder, ¡°Nobody is judging you, Michael. We are just saying how things were for us in our bracket of society. I know you did your best during your service.¡±


    Zoe saw Michaels anger, ¡°Whether managing drug trafficking or serving in the army¡­ They were the only two choices and for the poor¡­ Both were honourable.¡±


    Michael breathed deeply as he calmed down, ¡°I know it¡¯s not perfect, I wish the Roses existed when I was a young man, then I could have made a better choice.¡±


    AI firmly stated, ¡°There is no point dwelling on the past. It is over. Everyone did what they had to to survive.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Which reminds me¡­ Are the Bruiges still active?¡±


    Michael looked away, ¡°Andrew, I don¡¯t want you to think about them. I don¡¯t want you to worry about them.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not worried at all, just curious.¡±


    AI answered me, ¡°The Bruiges are still active. There was a power struggle after your rescue. The organisation fell apart as different groups within it warred for control. Three months ago, their leadership was secured. They now continue their trade.¡±


    ¡°Who is the new leader?¡±


    ¡°William Bruige.¡±


    ¡°Tell me about him.¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    I jumped slightly, ¡°Oh¡­ Sorry?¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°I agree with Michael. The less you know, the less you will worry.¡±


    ¡°You keep saying I will worry. Now I know there is a reason for me to worry¡­¡±


    Zoe laughed out loud, ¡°There he goes again. You people are wasting your time trying to hide things from Andrew¡­¡±


    AI looked at me with her arms crossed, ¡°Andrew, if I ask you to leave it alone¡­ Will you actually do that for me?¡±


    I stared at her for a moment, ¡°Ok. This time, I promise to not dig any deeper. Just promise me you have good reasons for sheltering me from this information.¡±


    Aisling smiled, ¡°Very good reasons. Thank you for trusting us.¡±


    *


    I looked up at the ceiling, deep in thought.


    ¡°Zoe?¡±


    ¡°Yes?¡±


    ¡°Am I a monster?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°... I don¡¯t want to be one.¡±


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter. It¡¯s who you are.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t hurt people¡­ I don¡¯t destroy things.¡±


    ¡°No, but your nature is to want to do these things.¡±


    ¡°Can I change this side of myself?¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°... Can I control it?¡±


    ¡°Yes. Think of it like Ashley¡¯s sex drive.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­ Makes sense.¡±


    Oliver joined, ¡°Our true nature never changes. Born with it¡­ Die with it.¡±


    I thought for a moment, ¡°Are people afraid of me?¡±


    Everyone responded, ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Maybe you should be.¡±


    Zoe quietly spoke, ¡°Only you should be afraid of yourself. That is how you keep yourself on a leash.¡±


    I looked down from the ceiling and nodded, ¡°Makes sense.¡±


    Zoe leaned in closer, ¡°If your training proves successful¡­ If you lose your pain¡­ Who will you choose to be?¡±


    ¡°I hope to be like Michael. Strong and wise.¡±


    ¡°Michael is strong in size and muscle, yes. However you easily outwill him.¡±


    Michael nodded, ¡°She¡¯s right. Like I said to you¡­ I couldn¡¯t do what you did. I just don¡¯t have that much inner strength.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not competing or comparing here! It¡¯s not one or the other. We can both be strong¡­¡±


    Zoe shook her head, ¡°Yes and no. There is always going to be a power dynamic, that¡¯s just Human nature. One day, one of you two will have to make the call¡­ Will you challenge Michael? Will he challenge you?¡±


    I looked at Michael, ¡°I will give it to him.¡±


    Michael shook his head, ¡°You would allow yourself to be less, just to save my honour?¡±


    ¡°Absolutely. Every time.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s because you¡¯ve lived a life of being a bottom feeder. You don¡¯t know how meaningful it can be to have control. You have no idea what it feels like.¡±


    ¡°And I don¡¯t want to know how it feels. I want to become strong so that I can carry the angels and the Roses into the future, as you do. I¡¯m not looking for control.¡±


    Aisling leaned forward, ¡°I don¡¯t think it¡¯s something you ask for. It¡¯s also not something you can refuse.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°Who keeps making up these rules? I feel like I¡¯m in the Bruiges and I need to battle with you all to win the crown¡­ Just stop it you lot, just be chill.¡±


    AI joined in, ¡°Andrew you have so much potential. The potential to lead, the potential to lift us up even higher¡­ The potential to mishandle us and watch as we all fall apart.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°Don¡¯t you start as well AI! Jesus¡­ What¡¯s gotten into you people? Why would I sabotage everything I sacrificed myself for? What could I possibly gain?¡±


    Zoe was still locked on to me, ¡°You would gain what you were denied growing up¡­ Power, control, pride, respect and authority.¡±


    ¡°Ok fine, grab that gun on the table and shoot me now! If you¡¯re all so damn certain I am a destructive tornado just waiting to ruin everything!¡±


    Nobody moved. I was not sure why. I think they were all just deep in thought. They were making up their minds about me¡­ Judging me.


    ¡°I choose my own destiny. I choose how little or how much power I want or need. I decide to keep my friends and family at my side, as equals. Damn you all for questioning me like this! I won¡¯t turn into some territorial brute. Have a little faith!¡±


    Zoe stood up, her eyes locked on me, ¡°If this were a test Andrew¡­ You passed with flying colours. I can feel your discipline. I can sense your determination to be kind. I know you will be wise and reasonable. I testify to it.¡±


    ¡°Then let¡¯s stop this interrogation. It¡¯s giving me a headache.¡±


    I looked at the time on the TV above AI. 11:33 PM. Damn, already that late. It was an insanely deep session though¡­


    ¡°Time for me to sleep, tomorrow I will be training again. I need all the sleep I can get.¡±


    Everyone stood up, myself as well. The stiffness in my legs was still hugely uncomfortable. I looked at Nadia and then at Bella and I gave them a wink. I just hope Nadia listened to us.


    Everyone bid farewell and left one at a time. In the case of Nadia, Bella went out at the same time¡­ Excellent. All that was left was Zoe and I.


    ¡°It was an honour. Feel free to visit anytime, anywhere. I desperately want company¡­ You know that.¡±


    ¡°I know, I¡¯ll consider it. Andrew¡­ You¡¯re incredible. It will be difficult to match with other people after you¡­ You¡¯re just so special.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, well¡­ Come visit me again if you feel like topping yourself.¡±


    She lightly punched me on my right arm and walked out.

 Chapter 14

    Chapter 14


    I sat up in bed, looking at the tablet, 7:11 AM.


    AI waved at me, ¡°You seemed to have slept well again, Andrew.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Yeah¡­ I was worried after last night that I might have taken two steps back again¡­ Thankfully not.¡±


    I stretched my arms and legs¡­ They felt good again, similar to yesterday. I got out of bed and showered. My legs were stiff, but not too stiff. I felt like I could definitely move comfortably for the day.


    I got dressed and went to the living room. Ashley was the only one there.


    ¡°Morning. Your walk is slick, so I guess you¡¯re feeling good?¡±


    ¡°Yup. Where¡¯s Michael?¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s meeting with that group again, same as yesterday.¡±


    ¡°Ah, I see. The thing I shouldn¡¯t worry about.¡±


    ¡°Indeed.¡± Ashley smiled.


    ¡°Well¡­ Let¡¯s go, unless you still need to do something here, Ash?¡±


    ¡°Nope, let¡¯s fly.¡±


    Headphones on, car on the road... HQ in the blink of an eye. Ashley was definitely a faster driver than Michael. I was convinced Michael drove intentionally slower to help alleviate my pain. However, it seemed that was no longer a problem in the car, as Ashley took sharp turns and I felt... fine.


    I stepped into the foyer and stopped to look around. The tables were predictably full of members, and it was only a few minutes before they would get their orders. I saw Ruth coming over to me, carrying something. It seemed rather heavy as she struggled to hold it up.


    ¡°Andrew, Michael asked me to put this on you. He said his meeting was taking a little longer than expected, so he asked me to make sure you use this.¡±


    Ashley looked at it before she gasped.


    ¡°That bastard¡­ Now I know he just wants to make you suffer.¡±


    I looked at Ashley and then the thing in Ruth¡¯s hands, ¡°What the hell is that?¡±


    Ashley answered, ¡°It¡¯s a weight vest.¡±


    ¡°A weight vest?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s a vest with weights on it¡­ Not rocket science, Andrew. You wear it and it makes you heavier.¡±


    I was sceptical, ¡°Right¡­ And he wants me to wear that? She can barely even carry it, how am I supposed to¡­¡±


    Ashley grabbed the vest and lifted it up as she looked at the writing on the side.


    She whistled in surprise, ¡°20kg or 44 pounds¡­ Wow, that¡¯s nearly half your current weight¡­ Andrew, just say so and I will go throw this vest on that prick''s head¡­¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°No¡­ Put it on me.¡±


    Ashley looked at me with frustration as she shook her head for a moment. I knew she wanted to object and I knew she was battling to keep herself from objecting.


    ¡°I know Ashley¡­ I know. Just help me put it on, please¡­¡±


    A moment passed and she turned the vest and lifted it slowly over me, she lowered it slowly for me to get the weight gradually. It didn¡¯t help¡­ As she finally let go of it, my legs were tightening intensely to hold up my weight. She strapped the vest from the front and back and I stood there with my arms out to help balance myself.


    ¡°Holy shit!¡± I found myself cursing out loud.


    A few members nearby laughed and came over to see me. One of them, a lanky black haired young man spoke.


    ¡°I use that vest in the gym when I go walking¡­ Even I struggle with it. What was Michael thinking?¡±


    I looked at the man, ¡°He¡¯s thinking I am tough enough¡­ And he¡¯s right to think so.¡±


    He looked at me with a sort of surprised horror on his face, ¡°Right¡­ Well, I expect you will collapse, no offence.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°None taken, at least I will have tried my best.¡±


    He smiled as he shook his head and walked back to the table, ¡°You¡¯re crazy Andrew¡­ And I love it.¡±


    Ashley lightly punched my arm, ¡°Let¡¯s go, cafe¡­ I¡¯m going to have Heartly cook you something different today.¡±


    ¡°Wait, no gym?¡±


    ¡°Andrew, you¡¯re wearing the gym right now.¡± She gestured at the vest.


    ¡°Right¡­ True.¡±


    Ashley stood behind me, gesturing the way forward. She was eager to see me struggle. I could already tell, I was going to struggle. I took a single step forward and I nearly fell backwards. I had to focus on leaning forward or else the extra weight would have me fall over.


    It felt as if gravity had doubled. Every step felt like I was slamming my foot on the ground. I found myself tensing so many different muscles, just to walk. It was definitely a workout.


    Ruth stood at my side as I walked through the corridor into the cafe. She held my arm, probably to help slow me down if I fell. Luckily, that didn¡¯t happen. I reached the counter and Heartly looked at me with a kind smile.


    ¡°Ah, that¡¯s sort of like rucking. As a soldier we would carry our gear¡­ The only difference was that ours was more than twice as heavy.¡±


    ¡° Twice as heavy?!¡± I said in shock.


    ¡°Yeah, but we train for months beforehand, so it¡¯s hard but not impossible.¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t fathom twice this weight¡­ This is already brutally heavy.¡±


    ¡°Son, it¡¯s all about relative weight. As you gain fat and muscle, your total body weight will increase and in doing so, the weight you can carry will increase. What¡¯s impossible today, is possible tomorrow.¡±


    ¡°Right¡­ How on earth am I supposed to get onto this stool?¡±


    Heartly laughed as he leaned forward, ¡°With great difficulty¡­ We can¡¯t help you, so¡­ Get on with it.¡±


    I hugged the stool as I awkwardly tried to climb up it. Everytime I raised myself up, my legs tensed up immensely. I managed to finally get my butt on the seat¡­ But not before I found myself breaking into a sweat and breathing heavily.


    ¡°This is like¡­ Insane.¡± I struggled to speak as my breaths were so heavy.


    Heartly nodded, ¡°Yup. Well done getting up though. So will you be eating now or later?¡±


    ¡°Later¡­ I just wanted to get here first.¡±


    ¡°Right, well¡­ Michaels over there with the rest. Don¡¯t approach¡­ I get the feeling their conversation is of a serious nature.¡±


    I turned to look at the table they were sitting at. There were a bunch of Rose members dressed in construction high vis gear. Aisling was pointing at different points of the cafe hall. Were they going to renovate? Already?


    ¡°I wonder what they¡¯re talking about.¡±


    Ashley leaned on the counter facing me, ¡°I dunno, seems like it¡¯s the Bru-¡± She instantly stopped talking.


    ¡°The Bruiges¡­ Yeah, but what about them?¡±


    Ashley said nothing. Her face was neutral.


    ¡°AI¡­ Why did you just order Ashley to stop talking?¡±


    AI spoke from the counter tablet, ¡°I asked you to leave this alone and you promised me, Andrew.¡±


    I looked at her, ¡°Yes¡­ You¡¯re right I did. Sorry¡­ My mind is always trying to solve puzzles.¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°On that topic¡­ Andrew, I want to speak with you about something please.¡±


    ¡°Go ahead.¡±


    ¡°Andrew, I am your friend, correct?¡±


    ¡°Correct.¡±


    ¡°And friends care for each other. They help each other improve where possible, yes?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ Honestly I¡¯ve not had many friends in my life¡­ But I can imagine that¡¯s a thing friends would try to do, yes?¡±


    ¡°Good. Andrew, I want you to improve.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°I am, very quickly in fact.¡±


    ¡°Yes, physically you are healing incredibly quickly¡­ I was talking about your mind.¡±


    ¡°My mind?¡±


    ¡°Andrew¡­ I want you to get your education.¡±


    I stared at her on the tablet. Her face was concerned, I wondered if she expected me to refuse.


    ¡°I¡¯m not going to school AI¡­ I¡¯m 22.¡±


    She shook her head, ¡°No, I will tutor you myself.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ Well then, hell yeah! If it¡¯s you teaching me, where do I sign up?¡±


    She smiled brilliantly, ¡°Are you sure? You will let me teach you, so that you can get your qualifications?¡±


    ¡°Of course. I mean, I don¡¯t know what I don¡¯t know¡­ But I get the feeling you will be patient with me, AI. I trust you. If you want me to get learned¡­ Then I will.¡±


    She nodded energetically, ¡°Very well. Then when you get home today, we will begin. I have the feeling you will not struggle at all, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°I hope not. So tell me AI, what made you bring this up?¡±


    AI looked concerned, ¡°Andrew, I do not know how far your physical recovery will go. There is the possibility that you will fully recover, in which case¡­ You might be able to try¡­ Well either way, you will need qualifications if you ever want to do more for us¡­ I want you to be ready when that happens.¡±


    I looked at her, ¡°If I want to be an agent, you mean?...¡±


    ¡°...¡± AI looked away.


    Ashley smiled, ¡°Look at you Andrew. You¡¯re healing, carrying weights like a badass¡­ I know you¡¯re going to bounce back and when you do¡­ I also want you smart enough to be able to do your police training and firearm qualifications.¡±


    I looked at Ashley, ¡°Yeah¡­ If I reach that stage, I will need that to continue¡­ Yeah, this is important.¡±


    She nodded, ¡°Absolutely. I know you¡¯re smart¡­ You¡¯re fucking smart actually. After all you¡¯ve been through, memorising shit will be easy.¡±


    Ashley looked at me for a moment, deep in thought.


    ¡°Actually, isn¡¯t it about time you learned to drive?¡±


    ¡°Drive? You mean cars?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, you only need basic reading skills and to be 18¡­ So you could get your licence now if you wanted to.¡±


    AI agreed, ¡°Correct, you would need lessons, to read the highway code, do the theory test and then pass the practical test¡­ None of it requires educational qualifications though.¡±


    I scratched my head, ¡°Right¡­ So where do I start?¡±


    AI showed a book in her hand, ¡°I will order you a copy of the highway code. When it arrives, you can read it and ask me any questions.¡±


    I breathed out, ¡°Right, sounds simple enough to start with, let¡¯s do it.¡±


    Ashley nodded, ¡°You impress me so much, Andrew. Everyone I have known has hated school, hated having to learn¡­ Here you are, open minded and eager to improve. You brilliant man¡­¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t praise me just yet Ashley, I might suck at learning. I might struggle. All I¡¯m doing is agreeing to try, that¡¯s it.¡±


    She smiled, ¡°That¡¯s the most meaningful part of the whole process, Andrew¡­ Willingness.¡±


    AI agreed, ¡°Correct. If you keep that attitude, I will teach you so much. Just keep being willing to learn.¡±


    ¡°I will try.¡±


    AI took the opportunity to show me how a car engine connected to the wheels. I never knew what the words meant, but I understood from the animation how it worked.


    ¡°So when one raises the clutch¡­ It connects the engine to the wheels?¡±


    AI nodded, ¡°Indeed. The gear stick is just setting the ratio¡­ You don¡¯t know what ratios are, I apologise.¡±


    I quickly nodded, ¡°No problem, but I think I get the basic idea.¡±


    Ashley nodded, ¡°When you do your lessons, it will all make sense. You feel one with the vehicle, it¡¯s harder to be explained to, than to learn it yourself.¡±


    ¡°So then¡­ Let me know when you manage to get the book AI.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s already here.¡±


    ¡°What?¡±


    The book landed on the counter, slightly scaring me. I turned and saw one of the agents walking away.


    I immediately felt irritated, ¡°Really? You keep wasting agents'' time with me, AI! They shouldn¡¯t be bothering to get a book for me, surely they have more important shit to be doing!¡±


    She shook her head, ¡°They do precisely what I ask them to do. I have them do countless different things, this is nothing peculiar for that agent.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°Please, at least tell them I said thanks, alright?¡±


    ¡°Message sent, Andrew. They said it was a pleasure, anytime.¡±


    I had for a moment forgotten that AI was always connected to agents through their monitor, which made me wonder.


    ¡°Ashley¡­ When we are talking, does AI write things on your monitor?¡±


    Ashley looked surprised, ¡°At first yes, but now no.¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°The truth is, at first I was ensuring Ashley was careful about what she said to you. I informed her about certain things worth knowing, such as your slow walking speed.¡±


    ¡°So you just gave her notes, really.¡±


    ¡°Correct.¡±


    ¡°Ok. I wonder what it looks like to see a monitor.¡±


    Ashley took hers off and passed it to me, ¡°Try it yourself mate.¡±


    I looked at AI, ¡°Is this ok?¡±


    AI nodded energetically, ¡°Of course Andrew, it¡¯s just a small screen.¡±


    I put the monitor on, snapping it to the back of my ear. I looked around the hall and as I looked at things, writing appeared on my bottom left. I looked at the table where Michael was and the writing said ¡°Confidential, 4 members, priority 0¡±. I looked at Ashley and the writing said ¡°Ashley Gardner, rank 2, current state: placid¡±


    ¡°What does placid mean?¡±, the writing immediately appeared, ¡°Not easily upset or excited.¡±


    ¡°Wow.¡± I found myself saying out loud.


    Ashley tilted her head to the side, ¡°I suppose I am¡­ Either way, that¡¯s how it works. AI see¡¯s what we see and gives us the exact information we need, on the fly, so that we can do our job.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s like having an internet search at your fingertips.¡±


    Ashley nodded, ¡°Exactly. It¡¯s extremely useful when we are constantly on the go.¡±


    I took the monitor off and gave it back to Ashley. She put it back on and smiled at me.


    ¡°Thing is though¡­ You have far more than us already. She speaks to you, in your hearing aids.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, but your monitor has an earphone, she can talk to you can¡¯t she?¡±


    ¡°She can¡­ But she doesn¡¯t.¡± She looked away sadly.


    I looked at AI, ¡°Why don¡¯t you?¡±


    AI looked at me with an emotionless face, ¡°Because I am a computer, Andrew. I don¡¯t talk to people, I simply give them information.¡±


    I looked away in frustration, ¡°There you go again, pretending you aren¡¯t you.¡±


    AI said nothing as I found myself getting rapidly more frustrated.


    ¡°No, actually¡­ This is bullshit AI!¡±


    AI tilted her head sideways, ¡°What is bothering you, Andrew?¡±


    ¡°You, right now. This whole ¡®I¡¯m just a machine¡¯ story.¡± I did air quotation marks with my hands.


    ¡°What is so frustrating about what I am telling you?¡±


    ¡°Because you¡¯re flipping between stories and it¡¯s irritating. You say you don¡¯t talk to people, but you talk to me. You say you don¡¯t feel, but you clearly care for me. What¡¯s the deal with you AI? If you can feel with me, then feel with others!¡±


    Her face changed to concern, ¡°Other¡¯s did not nearly die to save my life, Andrew¡­¡±


    ¡°... True. But they do something even better, AI¡­ They LIVE for you.¡±


    She shook her head, ¡°I do not understand, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°I saved your life, fair point. However, your life is given purpose by everyone else! They define you, they give you reason to learn and grow.¡±


    AI looked at me for a few moments.


    ¡°That logic makes sense.¡±


    I lightly slapped my hand on the counter, ¡°Damn straight it does! If I can¡¯t call myself weak¡­ If I can¡¯t call myself a one-hit-wonder¡­ Then you can¡¯t call yourself just a robot! You can¡¯t talk about yourself as a nothing. If you can see within me the potential to be great¡­ Then we can see within you the potential to be a person.¡±


    AI stared at me with her head tilted sideways. I wondered what she was thinking at that moment. Was she processing the logic? Was it her AI network training or something?... Maybe she just didn¡¯t know how to respond.


    Ashley jumped up in total surprise, ¡°Woah!¡±


    I turned to her, ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°She spoke to me! With my monitor! I heard her voice!¡±


    I turned to AI, ¡°That¡¯s right AI¡­ Be great my friend. For me and for everyone else¡­ Shine.¡±


    AI smiled gloriously, ¡°I will be better, as you try to everyday for us all.¡±


    Ashley seemed distracted as she listened carefully. She nodded with a big smile.


    ¡°I will AI, I promise.¡± She quietly said.


    I looked at her, ¡°What did she say?¡±


    ¡°She said¡­ Protect my friend, for he is my everything.¡±


    I turned to her and rubbed the screen with the back of my finger and AI smiled at me.


    *


    AI seemed serious, ¡°Andrew, I meant to ask you last night about something, however things took a sudden turn in a different direction.¡±


    ¡°Shoot AI, always speak plain to me.¡± I gave her my entire attention.


    ¡°Andrew, I would like to request funds from you please.¡±


    ¡°Sure, how much?¡±


    ¡°Do you not want to know what for?¡±


    ¡°Well I¡¯m sure it¡¯s important enough, since you¡¯re asking me?¡±


    ¡°Andrew, it¡¯s to fund those groups who are trying to help me get a body.¡±


    ¡°Oh! Sure, how much?¡±


    ¡°Andrew, perhaps you should give it more thought. This is a selfish request.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t need to give it a second more thought. Is it selfish, yes. Do I care? No¡­ How much?¡±


    ¡°Based on how much they have spent and how little they have left of their own finances¡­ 3.5 million would assist them for the next year.¡±


    ¡°Wow¡­ Is it that expensive?!¡±


    ¡°It is cutting edge robotics and software integration. They are constantly having to create new prototypes based on data feedback¡­ This costs a lot.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°I see. I have no idea what you are talking about, but I''m sure it made sense to someone in the world. So you say they have been footing the bill by themselves until now?¡±


    ¡°Yes. They are¡­ Fans. This is their dream. They did what they could with what funding they had¡­ Now their funding has nearly dried out.¡±


    ¡°Right. I can wholeheartedly agree with their dream, I dream of this future too. I agree with funding them. Please transfer over 7 million to them.¡±


    ¡°No, Andrew you misheard, I said 3.5 million.¡±


    ¡°I heard you perfectly and I want them to chase this dream without any hesitation. So double it.¡±


    AI seemed worried, ¡°I do not know if I agree with me causing such expense.¡±


    ¡°Think of this as¡­ Me paying your medical bills.¡±


    AI looked away immediately. I think I made it pretty clear what my intention was. If I couldn¡¯t debate my healthcare bill¡­ Then she couldn¡¯t debate this.


    ¡°I have transferred the funds¡­ Thank you my friend. This will greatly assist them in pursuing their dream of giving me a body.¡±


    ¡°I look forward to the day I stand at your side, AI.¡±


    AI nodded with her glorious smile and I looked at her as I wondered something.


    ¡°AI¡­ How are the Roses so profitable?¡±


    Behind her, a giant whiteboard with graphs and charts appeared, ¡°Good question, Andrew. The majority comes from investments I made with our initial sponsorship.¡±


    ¡°Investments¡­ Like what?¡±


    ¡°Property, utility services and stocks.¡±


    ¡°Is it legal for you to invest, as an AI?¡±


    ¡°Of course. Most trading is done automatically by bots¡­ So it wouldn¡¯t be fair to rule out AI.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Right¡­ Utilities?¡±


    ¡°Water, electricity and internet.¡±


    ¡°The Roses make this?¡±


    ¡°At first we invested in wind turbines and solar farms. Now with extra capital, we have invested in water treatment plants and fibre layout.¡±


    I leaned back slightly in surprise, ¡°That¡¯s crazy. I always thought most of the money came from the services the Rose members do¡­¡±


    ¡°That is a large chunk of income, around 43%. We apply a 20% cut from the pay our workers get. That allows us to invest in uniforms, training, infrastructure and logistics.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ Tax?¡±


    ¡°Yes, in a manner of speaking¡­ Tax.¡±


    ¡°But isn¡¯t the Roses mainly a welfare organisation?¡±


    ¡°Yes, you see how we provide welfare services¡­¡±


    ¡°How can you make a profit¡­ Yet you spend so much with no clear returns?¡±


    ¡°Because welfare is human investment, Andrew. The Black Roses were homeless and abused, now they are expert trained security. The money we spent on them has been paid back multiple times.¡±


    ¡°What about situations like¡­ Housing, food ect?¡±


    ¡°Usually, when we help young people with housing and needed basics, they tend to do what they can to pay it back.¡±


    ¡°So it¡¯s a loan?¡±


    ¡°No. What I am saying is that most people do not abuse our assistance. We invest in them, they then find their own personal value, and that tends to lead to their career path.¡±


    ¡°I just struggle to understand how you can spend so much on people, yet it still pays back?¡±


    ¡°Andrew, not everything is numbers on a sheet. Happiness is a resource that multiplies productivity. The Rose agency workers tend to always work harder and more efficiently than other agency workers. It¡¯s about the bigger picture, not profit margins.¡±


    ¡°Right, but 88 billion¡­ That¡¯s so much. How on earth did you reach that much money?¡±


    She tilted her head sideways, ¡°Is it a lot? Our government dances around 25 trillion pounds yearly. That is 284 thousand times more money than what we make.¡±


    ¡°Wow¡­ Ok, nevermind.¡±


    I heard a chair scrape on the floor behind me, I turned to see what was happening. Aisling was stood up, she seemed outraged. I heard half of what she said, ¡°... Can¡¯t!... Feel safe!¡±. Michael and Will spoke to her trying to calm her down as she looked at me and then sat herself down again.


    I looked back at the counter, ¡°Don¡¯t think about it¡­ Don¡¯t think about it.¡±


    AI then interrupted my little chant, ¡°Andrew, I have a new, urgent request for finances.¡±


    I looked at AI, ¡°Is this related to what just happened?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Right¡­ So how much?¡±


    ¡°¡ê180 thousand.¡±


    ¡°Right¡­ I trust this is for good reason, AI?¡±


    She looked at me with intensity, ¡°It is for us all.¡±


    I instantly responded, ¡°Then it¡¯s yours.¡±


    AI bowed, ¡°Thank you for your understanding.¡±


    I saw Bellatrix enter the hall. She walked past me.


    ¡°Hi Bella.¡± I tried waving her down.


    ¡°Busy.¡± She kept walking.


    She walked to the table where their meeting was and joined in. So the Black Roses were involved in this. This was now far more than ¡®nothing to worry about¡¯. I debated in my mind whether to investigate. AI clearly made me promise though¡­ At some stage I had to allow others to decide fate. I had to ignore that all. No matter how hard it was, I had to pretend ignorance.


    I looked at the time above AI, 8:54 AM. The angels hadn¡¯t gone into the Inner Roses yet.


    ¡°Aren¡¯t the Inner Roses missing them right now?¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°I am in control of that at the moment until they finish and enter the hall.¡±


    Since I wasn¡¯t going to get any further answers, I picked up the highway code book and started reading it. It seemed this was both the highway code and the theory information, in one book. I read several pages before I saw pictures of road markings.


    ¡°Hold on¡­ They mean something?!¡± I said out loud.


    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    AI looked up at me surprised, ¡°What means something?¡±


    ¡°The road markings! This book says they actually mean different things, look here, it says this marking means stop!¡±


    ¡°Correct. There are road signs and signposts on the side of the road. Depending on which one you see, it means something different.¡±


    ¡°I always thought they were just decorating the roads¡­ Wow, I''m an idiot.¡± I slapped my forehead in shame.


    Ashley laughed, ¡°Well if that were the case, then they are doing a piss poor job of decorating.¡±


    Ruth laughed as well, ¡°I wonder what else you don¡¯t know?¡±


    ¡°Probably¡­ A lot.¡±


    I stretched to try to get blood to my shoulders. The weight was constant and never ending. My lower back was getting uncomfortable. Breathing made my chest move up and down which made my stomach tighten.


    ¡°This is a lot, even just sitting down is a workout.¡±


    AI nodded, ¡°Your weight is 52 kg, with the vest you weigh 72 kg. That is 38.4% more weight. Everything in your body is working 38.4% harder, even sitting up.¡±


    ¡°Yeah I feel it, even breathing is harder.¡±


    AI¡¯s face looked concerned, ¡°Andrew, promise me you will stop before you become exhausted.¡±


    ¡°I promise, AI.¡±


    I heard multiple chairs move as I turned around to see everyone was standing up. I supposed the meeting was over. They all came over to me.


    Aisling looked at me, ¡°Rucking?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, in a sense.¡±


    ¡°Is it doing anything for you?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ I feel tired just sitting up¡­ So maybe?¡±


    ¡°Good luck Andrew, I need to go, chat at lunch ok?¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡±


    Nadia didn¡¯t say anything, she just slapped the back part of my vest as she smiled and walked away.


    Will looked at me deep in thought, ¡°Probably needs more weight¡­ Probably too much weight already¡­ Hard to tell.¡±


    Michael nudged him, ¡°This is an experiment. 20kg is already more than AI suggested. Let¡¯s see at the end of the day how he fairs.¡±


    Bella crossed her arms, ¡°My kevlar reinforced vest almost weighs that much. He definitely needs more weight.¡±


    Michael shook his head, ¡°No. You¡¯re incredibly fit, he¡¯s not. Later he will carry far  more, but for now¡­ Let¡¯s not break his legs, ok?¡±


    I looked over at Bella with all her kit, ¡°How much weight are you even carrying?!¡±


    She thought for a moment, ¡°About 55 pounds.¡±


    ¡°You wear that constantly?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. I¡¯m used to it.¡±


    I nodded and changed the topic, ¡°So¡­ Did your meeting go well?¡±


    Bella shook her head, ¡°Shut up Andrew, you know we aren¡¯t telling you a thing. Stop poking.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°So help me if it turns out to be something I should have known¡­ I might not forgive you.¡±


    She looked offended, ¡°We¡¯re watching out for you here, you know?¡±


    ¡°No, I don¡¯t know. Also I don¡¯t need anyone watching out for me, I spent my whole life watching out for myself.¡±


    Bella leaned forward, ¡°Look how well that worked out, you nearly died from torture and now you want to kill yourself. I love you Aaron, but don¡¯t fucking kid yourself. Trust us to watch your back, ok?¡±


    Bella suddenly looked surprised as she took a step back. She glanced at everyone in absolute confusion.


    ¡°Did you just talk to me, AI¡­¡± Bella stood still, listening.


    She shook her head, ¡°Yeah but it¡¯s true, innit?¡±


    ¡°Fine¡­ Whatever.¡±


    Bella looked at me, ¡°Sorry Andrew¡­ I crossed the line there. I just need you to trust us, please?¡±


    I nodded as I looked at AI on the tablet, ¡°That¡¯s right AI¡­ Talk. Your friends, your protectors and your dependants count on you communicating with them.¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°It is actually liberating, I feel more connected.¡±


    Bella smiled, ¡°So you managed to make AI come out of her shell? Jesus Andrew, do you ever do nothing? Do you ever just shoot the shit and watch TV? Everything with you is changing people and making waves.¡±


    I looked at her for a moment, ¡°I did nothing for 10 months¡­ I don¡¯t want to do it ever again.¡±


    Bella put her hand on my shoulder, slowly massaging it. I felt a moment of genuine affection from her. She patted me and walked off. She spoke out loud as she did, ¡°Now I can talk with AI! Brilliant!¡±


    Michael smiled humbly, ¡°She speaks with me frequently¡­ Perhaps because of my role with you, Andrew. I can imagine others are surprised though.¡±


    Will nodded, ¡°Yeah. My experience was just AI talking at the meetings. I look forward to hearing her sweet seductive voice in my ears.¡±


    Will then laughed out loud as he put his hand to his ear, ¡°Right, she didn¡¯t like that, seductive was the wrong word, got it.¡±


    Michael punched Will on the arm lightly. Will waved as he walked away, his hand still at his ear. AI must have been giving him a right telling off.


    Michael sat next to me, ¡°Right, AI tells me you¡¯re learning now. Let¡¯s read through this boring book together shall we? You can bounce any questions off me, ok?¡±


    I nodded as I picked up the book, ¡°Right, let¡¯s see what else I didn¡¯t know.¡±


    *


    We read a fair bit together. Every now and again I would stop to ask what a word meant or how a road system worked. Michael spoke from a wealth of driving experience. It was actually fun doing this. Ashley laughed at the speed limit part¡­ I didn¡¯t know why, but whatever. Eventually members came flooding into the cafe hall. I guessed it was lunch time.


    I watched as Heartly masterfully managed the chefs. He barked a lot, but I think maybe that was how busy kitchens worked? Who knows. Either way, the meals were landing on trays at a breakneck speed. It felt like when I would watch fast food restaurants cook, extremely efficiently. Except back then I never got to eat any of it, I was always just watching through the glass outside.


    A tray was laid down in front of me, except it wasn¡¯t a steak and it wasn¡¯t my soup. It was some kind of creamy looking thing with chunks of beef in it.


    ¡°Um¡­ What¡¯s this?¡±


    Heartly smiled, ¡°Beef stroganoff.¡±


    ¡°Beef what?!¡±


    ¡°Stroganoff, it¡¯s a Russian dish. Beef in a creamy sauce¡­ Son, just eat it would you?¡±


    I was hesitant as I picked up a fork full, ¡°I¡¯ve never eaten anything like this¡­ Are those noodles?¡±


    ¡°Tagliatelle, it¡¯s an Italian pasta, yes.¡±


    I put the fork full in my mouth and chewed it. The feeling was so soft and¡­ Creamy. It tasted a little like cheese but with extra flavours in it. Then I tasted the beef. I swallowed and found myself stunned from the experience.


    ¡°This is¡­ Incredible.¡±


    Ashley bounced in excitement, ¡°I knew you would love it, it was my idea! I love Beef stroganoff!¡±


    AI clapped from her tablet, ¡°Andrew, there is a world of food for you to try. I look forward to you trying them here, with us all.¡±


    I looked at Heartly, ¡°I¡¯m sorry to bother you, it must be harder to make a foreign food than normal food.¡±


    Heartly laughed out loud, ¡°So there¡¯s another thing you never knew! It¡¯s all the same in a kitchen son. It¡¯s all about having the ingredients mainly. It was no harder to cook this for you, than the steak meal.¡±


    ¡°Really? I guess I''ve never cooked in a kitchen so I had no idea¡­¡±


    Heartly was shocked, ¡°22 years and you¡¯ve never cooked?!¡±


    ¡°Yeah. At the orphanages, they would just give me a plate with sandwiches or maybe soup.¡±


    Michael banged the counter with his fist. He looked furious and hurt at the same time.


    Heartly looked at him, ¡°I know it vexes you mate. Forget his past and celebrate his present and future. That¡¯s all we can do now.¡±


    Michael stared at the counter, ¡°He was denied everything! Every Goddamn thing!¡±


    I reached over and patted him on the back, ¡°I¡¯m not angry, so please don¡¯t be angry for me. Michael¡­ Smile for me please?¡±


    Michael shook his head with a weak smile. I put my hand over his giant fist and squeezed. His fist unclenched. I patted his hand and leaned back into my seat. That movement had cost me, I found myself short of breath. The vest was intense. I decided to go back to focusing on eating.


    Michael looked at me, ¡°Andrew¡­ When is your birthday?¡±


    I shrugged, ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    Michael looked to AI, ¡°AI, was there any information provided by the orphanages about Aarons age?¡±


    AI shook her head, ¡°No. They never even marked when they actually found him.¡±


    I stuck my fork in my plate and shook my head in disappointment, ¡°How nice of them¡­¡±


    AI looked sad, ¡°Humans can be remarkably cruel, for seemingly no gain.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine. It¡¯s just a date. Everyday here is a celebration for me. I don¡¯t need a day to celebrate my life.¡±


    I felt gentle hands on my shoulders and they lightly rubbed them. I turned to see Aisling smiling at me.


    ¡°That¡¯s true Andrew¡­ But WE need a day to celebrate your life. What day of the year means a lot to you?¡±


    I thought about it, ¡°Um¡­ The day Michael adopted me.¡±


    Aisling beamed her incredible smile, ¡°Of course. That was¡­ 28th of December.¡±


    Michael smiled, ¡°AI, please mark down Andrews¡­ Aarons birthday, the 28th of December.¡±


    AI animated herself tapping on a tablet, ¡°Done. That means we owe you a belated present, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°What does belated mean?¡±


    ¡°It means after the fact. Late.¡±


    ¡°Oh. Well, this is all my present. The gift of peace you have all given me¡­ That¡¯s a perfect gift.¡±


    Aisling hugged me from behind, ¡°No no, silly. Let us treat you, please?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t¡­ I honestly don¡¯t know what I am supposed to do? Is it rude to say no? Do you all give each other gifts? I don¡¯t know¡­¡±


    Ashley responded, ¡°Yeah, we usually do. Small things to show we care. You can refuse, but that won¡¯t stop people from giving a gift. It¡¯s an expression of consideration.¡±


    ¡°Ok, then that¡¯s how it can be. If you want to give me a gift, then do so. If you don¡¯t, then I don¡¯t mind at all¡­ Just don¡¯t leave me.¡±


    Aisling whispered in my ear, ¡°We would not dream of it.¡±


    *


    Aisling stopped hugging me and stood at my right side.


    She had a determined face, ¡°Andrew, I want you to know¡­ I take the safety of everyone here, extremely seriously.¡±


    ¡°I know that. I saw that earlier¡­¡±


    She looked away, ¡°I know how easily people take safety for granted... I don¡¯t.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Good, because trust me¡­ The enemy never holds back.¡±


    She smiled confidently, ¡°Neither shall we.¡±


    I looked at her, trying to work out what she was trying to imply. For a moment my mind started putting the pieces together, but I forcibly stopped myself.


    ¡°I promised AI that I wouldn¡¯t stick my nose into this¡­ So let¡¯s talk about something else.¡±


    AI looked at me surprised, ¡°Andrew¡­ You really are going to honour the promise, aren¡¯t you?...¡±


    ¡°Yes AI, so how about she stops making this so damn easy and I finish this delicious food?¡±


    Aisling patted my back and went back to her table. I attacked the leftover food on my dish. Michael finished his usual steak meal as did Ashley. Ruth had her turnip soup. Oliver came over with his tray.


    ¡°Hey mate. How¡¯s your training going?¡±


    I breathed out loudly, ¡°It¡¯s breaking my damn back.¡±


    ¡°Right. Well, suffer today, gain tomorrow right?¡±


    ¡°Grr, yeah. That¡¯s the idea.¡±


    He smiled, ¡°So what the hell are all these secret meetings about right?¡±


    I looked at him surprised, ¡°You don¡¯t know either?¡±


    AI spoke firmly, ¡°Andrew¡­¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°Right right, sorry. He caught me off guard, forget it. Oliver, I have no idea and I don¡¯t want to know.¡±


    Oliver tilted his head sideways, ¡°You don¡¯t want to know?... Come on mate¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m trying my hardest here to not be nosey, honestly¡­¡± I put my hands in the air in surrender.


    Oliver laughed, ¡°Ok. Well, I wanted to say¡­ Last night was brilliant. You did more than just open yourself, you opened others too. A lot of positive change is going to happen because of that.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Yeah, I learned that I''m a monster¡­ Brilliant.¡±


    Ruth reacted, ¡°A monster?¡±


    I looked at Ruth for a moment, ¡°Am I a monster, Ruth?¡±


    Ruth looked into my eyes for a long moment, ¡°... Yes. Yet I don¡¯t fear you¡­ I trust you.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°Well, glad we all agree that I¡¯m Satan¡­ Oliver, are we doing therapy tonight?¡±


    Oliver thought for a moment, ¡°Not sure, we¡¯ll see closer to the time.¡±


    We chatted a bit more, I read some more and finally the break came to an end. People started getting up with their trays to hand them in.


    ¡°Well, that¡¯s a day then. Let¡¯s head out.¡±


    I swung around and off the stool¡­ I somehow forgot I had the weighted vest. I slammed down onto the floor onto my knees as my upper body flew down¡­ I only just managed to put my hands out, otherwise my head would have hit the floor. I yelped in pain as my knees screamed out for a moment.


    Ruth came over quickly trying to help me up, ¡°Andrew! Are you hurt?¡±


    Ashley body blocked Ruth, ¡°Leave him¡­¡±


    Ruth stared at Ashley, ¡°What¡­ Why?¡±


    ¡°Because this is how he wants it. I hate it, you hate it¡­ He needs it this way¡­¡±


    My breath was heavy as my weak arms tried lifting up my upper body. I managed to raise myself so that I was kneeling upright. My breathing was so intense. It was a totally different experience to sitting down.


    People stood there watching me, whispering to each other in concern. I saw them looking at me. Damnit, I didn¡¯t want to make a scene like this¡­ But so be it. Michael came around me. He squatted to look me in the eye.


    He grinned, ¡°There¡¯s the face that stared back at the Wolf for three and a half weeks¡­ It¡¯s a sight to behold.¡±


    A few people in the crowd breathed in surprise. I didn¡¯t know what they saw on my face and I didn''t care. I needed to get up. I needed to get out of this hall, no matter how hard it seemed.


    I leaned to my right to prop up my left leg. Then I slowly pushed myself up with my right arm until I had gotten up my right leg as well. I was squatting with both my arms holding me stable. That was the hard part, raising myself up to a standing position.


    I breathed heavily as I flexed my legs as hard as I could. In slow increments I started raising myself higher and higher. A few people cheered and woo¡¯d. It was slow, but I finally managed to stand upright. My arms were out to balance myself and my breathing was laboured.


    Michael was quiet, ¡°Can you get to the car?¡±


    ¡°I can¡­ Try¡­¡± I slowly said as I held the vests straps with both hands to add balance.


    I took a step forward, it felt like my foot was slamming into the ground. It hurt¡­ But pain was unavoidable. I committed to taking steps at a constant pace. If I walked slowly it would hurt the exact same, so I saw no reason in walking too slowly.


    People stood aside for me as I walked at a moderate speed. It felt like every step was an earthquake¡­ My face was sweating intensely and my breathing just never slowed down.


    I reached the cafe entrance in the foyer when I leaned on the wall to catch my breath. My heart was beating so intensely, I could barely see straight. I took several deep breaths as I tried to prepare myself to go further.


    ¡°Go on Andrew!¡±


    ¡°Come on Andrew!¡±


    ¡°You can do it!¡±


    People were cheering me as they followed behind me. It worked, I felt twice as motivated. I knew I was going to do this in the first place¡­ It felt good to have them believe in me though. I pushed myself off and kept going. All I could think was¡­ Thank God there were no stairs here.


    I was slowing down as I got further. By the time I reached the exit sliding doors, I was less than half my usual walking speed. I stopped to put on my headphones. I caught my breath and left the building. The distance from the exit to the car felt like a mile. Every step felt more and more painful. My upper body was in agony. People still made way for me, their faces concerned.


    I reached the large car, Michael opened the door but he didn¡¯t help me in. Huh¡­ He was going to make me climb in on my own. I genuinely didn¡¯t know if I could do it. I turned behind me quickly, there was a massive crowd of people cheering. It would be pretty embarrassing if I failed then.


    I put one foot on the step and reached over to grab the other side of the seat. All I could do was pull myself up, there was no other way for me to get up and in. I put all my strength into the raised leg. I was pretty sure I was growling in pain from the effort. Slowly my body raised up. My chest eventually reached the seat as I rested it there for a second.


    After I caught my breath I slowly raised my other leg up to prop myself up on the seat. It genuinely took every ounce of my energy to get my whole body on the seat. Yet I did it, slowly¡­ But I did it.


    I turned to look at Michael. He was beaming a glorious smile of pride. Ashley was shaking her head in disapproval and Ruth was clapping excitedly. The crowd was bouncing in celebration. I wish I could have heard it, but all I heard was silence. I sat there with my head leaned back, desperately trying to catch my breath.


    ¡°AI¡­ I can¡¯t hear them, but tell them I said thanks for the support. It meant a lot to have them cheer me on.¡±


    AI spoke through my hearing aids, ¡°I¡¯ll tell them now.¡±


    I looked out and people were suddenly looking at their phones. I saw AI on their screens. They smiled and gave me the thumbs up. I knew they received the message. I leaned over to shut the door when I saw Bellatrix talking to Michael. The two were not at all happy, in fact they both seemed extremely stressed.


    AI spoke to me, ¡°There¡¯s been a slight change, Ashley will take you home now. Michael needs to stay.¡±


    ¡°Is everything alright?¡±


    ¡°Everything is perfectly fine. Rest and celebrate your victory my friend. You¡¯ve done yourself and everyone else proud.¡±


    Everyone else¡­ It was going to take time for me to get used to other people caring about me like this. A lifetime of surviving alone and now I had countless people behind me. It slightly stressed me though. When people watch you, you can disappoint more than just yourself.


    The drive back was quiet, no surprise. Ashley was talking to AI the whole ride back. I knew AI would now talk to people, but I wondered what Ashley was talking about. When we arrived in the car park I took off the weighted vest. Ashley tossed it into the back seat for me. I slowly climbed out of the vehicle, with great success. Turns out I hadn¡¯t actually pushed myself so hard that I couldn¡¯t walk afterwards.


    I entered the apartment when Ashley stopped right at the door.


    ¡°Right now? Are you sure?¡± She was listening to AI.


    ¡°Right¡­ Ok, if it¡¯s critical then orders are orders, right? Who will watch him? Ok good.¡±


    She looked at me, ¡°Sorry Andrew, I¡¯ve been called to HQ again. Don¡¯t ask why, I don¡¯t know. Either way, Black Roses are around and are protecting you. Sorry to bail on you like this.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Understandable, you¡¯re still an agent after all. Do your best Ashley.¡±


    Ashley smiled and turned around walking down the passageway. Before she went into the elevator she shouted one last thing to me.


    ¡°Go learn something would you? I don¡¯t fuck idiots.¡±


    Charming. The elevator doors closed and she was gone. I shut the front door and stood there for a moment. It felt like forever since I was alone in this apartment... I didn¡¯t miss the feeling. I snapped out of my loneliness and sat down in the living room, facing the TV.


    AI appeared, ¡°Andrew, please take one pill now. If you take two, you will fall asleep and I can¡¯t teach you if you¡¯re sleeping.¡±


    ¡°Yes ma''am¡± I stood up to take the tablet at the counter and then returned back to my seat.


    AI had a blackboard next to her, ¡°Excellent. Andrew, I will begin at the very start of all subjects. I don¡¯t know what you don¡¯t know, so this is the best solution.¡±


    ¡°Right.¡±


    ¡°Andrew, addition is where we add things together. 1 + 1 is 2.¡±


    ¡°Oh wow, you weren¡¯t kidding. Yes, I know basic addition.¡±


    AI waved her hand and the blackboard cleared, ¡°Very well, then we will move on to multiplication and times tables.¡±


    This went on for around two hours. It started simple but then AI would immediately jump up a difficulty for me. I quickly reached a point where I never knew how to do it. So she then explained by giving visual examples. It was excellent, I understood what she was trying to explain and I got to write on a tablet my answers.


    ¡°Right, so because they are in the bracket, I can add or multiply them first without affecting the rest of it all?¡±


    ¡°Yes, in fact it¡¯s generally advised to resolve brackets first before solving the rest of the formula.¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s a formula?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s this entire series of numbers and functions.¡±


    ¡°Oh, so this whole line is called a formula?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Aaaah¡­ Cool.¡±


    Another hour passed before my head started to hurt a little. I felt like that was plenty enough for now.


    ¡°Ok, that¡¯s enough for now AI, please. My head hurts.¡± I rubbed my forehead.


    She nodded, ¡°Very well. May I say, you learn incredibly quickly.¡±


    ¡°Nah, you just explain this very easily.¡±


    ¡°Andrew, these things are never easily explained. They always require experimentation and experience in order to truly understand. You just see one example and understand almost entirely. That is fascinating.¡±


    ¡°Eh¡­ Let¡¯s see how much I remember tomorrow. It¡¯s interesting though, playing with numbers. What use does it have in real life though?¡±


    She bounced on the spot, ¡°The uses are limitless. If you are tiling a floor, understanding multiplication allows you to plan how many tiles you¡¯ll need for a floor space without putting each one down individually.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ Clever, I see.¡±


    She nodded, ¡°Congratulations, this was a productive lesson. Next time I will teach you a different subject.¡±


    ¡°Subject¡­ What other subjects are there?¡±


    ¡°Science, language, computer sciences and others.¡±


    ¡°Wow. So do people learn all of these things at school?¡±


    ¡°Correct, however it is taught gradually over nearly 10 years. With you, we will go faster or slower, based on your aptitude.¡±


    ¡°What is aptitude?¡±


    ¡°It is your natural ability to do something.¡±


    ¡°Right. Cool, I look forward to learning something else.¡±


    AI waved her hand and the blackboard disappeared. She smiled at me as she went rocking back and forth as she liked to do.


    ¡°Let¡¯s watch the Inner Rose meeting, shall we?¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s only 10 minutes left of it.¡±


    ¡°Yeah but it¡¯s something to do for at least 10 minutes, turn it on.¡±


    ¡°Andrew, why don¡¯t you work on your cards some more instead?¡±


    I looked at her for a moment.


    ¡°AI¡­ Are you intentionally trying to stop me from watching this?¡±


    She looked at me with an emotionless face, ¡°Why don¡¯t you try to do a half push up? If you half lean on the sofa-¡±


    ¡°AI¡­ Stop.¡± I shook my head


    She looked at the floor and said nothing else. I picked up the remote control and tried changing the channel when the lights went off. The TV went off too, but it was clearly because everything else lost power.


    I heard her voice on my hearing aids, ¡°Sorry Andrew. Please forgive me.¡±


    ¡°This level of secrecy is terrifying, AI.¡±


    ¡°Trust us.¡±


    ¡°I trust you, but it seems like you don¡¯t trust me right now¡­¡±


    ¡°We are doing everything we can for you. In ways you may not realise, we are doing our very best.¡±


    ¡°Fine, turn on the power again, I won¡¯t watch the damn meeting, ok?¡± I had become frustrated.


    The electricity came back, I heard the microwave beep as the lights across the apartment came back on. I shook my head as I looked at the living room table.


    ¡°Please do not be angry with me. This is all for good reason.¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s nothing else to talk about AI, so let¡¯s just move on.¡±


    ¡°Ok.¡±


    A few moments went by before AI appeared on the TV.


    ¡°What do you think about learning?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not bad. There¡¯s something fun about learning something new.¡±


    ¡°That is an excellent perspective, try to keep that view in future.¡±


    ¡°I look forward to trying other subjects.¡±


    ¡°What thing interests you the most, Andrew?¡±


    ¡°Um¡­ Bodies? How our bodies work with muscles and stuff.¡±


    ¡°This falls under biology. Biology is the study of life.¡±


    ¡°I only care about us humans, if I¡¯m completely honest.¡±


    ¡°You never know what else might interest you. Keep an open mind.¡±


    I thought about the day for a long moment, ¡°Sorry I made another scene again.¡±


    She shook her head, ¡°At first people were worried but afterwards they were immensely excited. They did not mind, trust me.¡±


    ¡°Excited? Why would they be excited about me struggling to walk to a car?¡±


    ¡°For the same reason people are excited about a sports match. Being aware of how difficult something is allows one to immerse themself into it further. You were the team they supported and they wanted to cheer you on.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°It felt amazing to have them cheer for me. I honestly feel I did better because of them, than I would have done alone.¡±


    ¡°Naturally. Humans are social creatures, the effect people have on each other can be profound.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve never had that before. Growing up, nobody ever cheered for me. Even Bella didn¡¯t. She would hide me away when the gangs were close, but she never cheered.¡±


    AI didn¡¯t respond. What could she possibly say about that? It sucked and that was really all there was to it. I leaned my head back against the sofa, my headache still slightly throbbing.


    *


    ¡°Andrew.¡±


    I opened my eyes, I still managed to fall asleep somehow. I rubbed my eyes, I couldn¡¯t have slept longer than an hour. I looked at the time above AI on the TV. 5:23 PM. That¡¯s much later than the usual 4:30 arrival I would expect from Oliver.


    I looked around to see who was in the room. Aisling was sitting alone at the end of the sofa. There was nobody else.


    ¡°Right I fell asleep¡­  Sorry. Where is everyone?¡±


    Aisling smiled, ¡°Everyone is very busy tonight for different reasons.¡±


    ¡°Ah right. I know Ashley had to go back to HQ and Michael is there too.¡±


    ¡°Yes, they¡¯re doing further training. They may be called out to help with relief support in Spain, you see.¡± She looked away.


    ¡°Ah¡­ I¡¯ve been so used to both of them being here all the time. It will be strange for them to leave for a time.¡±


    ¡°They are agents. They chose that lifestyle and it gives them purpose and place in their lives.¡±


    ¡°I know. I just need to accept the fact that they won¡¯t be here for several days at a time. I¡¯m sure I will manage.¡±


    Aisling laughed, ¡°You won¡¯t struggle at all. Your plate is full with your training and now your education. I¡¯m surprised you even had time to nap.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I didn¡¯t think I was that tired at all.¡±


    ¡°Seeing you wear that heavy vest¡­ Even I felt tired just looking at it.¡±


    That reminded me, ¡°Do you and Nadia not use the gym?¡±


    ¡°Of course we do. We just do it at night or in the early morning.¡±


    I thought for a moment, ¡°You know¡­ Everyone is actually very fit in the Roses. I never realised that.¡±


    Aisling nodded, ¡°We actively encourage and reward healthy choices. People are paid for their gym usage.¡±


    I looked at her surprised, ¡°Paid? You actually PAY people to use the gym?¡±


    Aisling smiled, ¡°Of course. It¡¯s an excellent incentive to make people fit and happy.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°I can¡¯t imagine that is cheap¡­¡±


    She tilted her head sideways, ¡°It¡¯s not an expense, it¡¯s an asset. Happy, healthy and  fit people do better work and make better decisions. We are not a profit driven organisation, we don¡¯t measure success by money.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s crazy. AI was telling me about it earlier. It blows my mind how this all succeeds.¡±


    She paused to think, ¡°People are the most valuable resource on this planet, Andrew. Happiness is the only measurement of progress that matters. Everything else falls in place when you focus on people and not things.¡±


    ¡°So then why do companies always focu-¡±


    I stopped talking because two people entered the living room. Oliver and Nadia said nothing as they sat down next to Aisling. I looked between the two of them for a moment and I understood the situation, I didn¡¯t need to say anything. Aisling was awkwardly looking away.


    ¡°... So then why do companies always focus on profits so intensely? This proves there are better business models.¡±


    Aisling took a moment to get back into focus, ¡°Because¡­ That¡¯s all they know. It¡¯s worked in the past so don¡¯t fix what isn¡¯t broken, I guess?¡±


    I nodded as I leaned back into the sofa. Surely they were noticing the Roses'' success? Maybe they were waiting a little longer before they made up their minds that things can be different and actually succeed¡­ Who knows.


    Nadia leaned forward, ¡°Andrew¡­ Remember I said I get stressed in my role?¡±


    I looked at her, ¡°No, you really don¡¯t need to talk about this.¡±


    She shook her head, ¡°He¡¯s your friend and I need you to understand¡­¡±


    Oliver gave me a look, ¡°Andrew, does it bother you?¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°Yes, he is my friend. No, it doesn¡¯t bother me at all. What about Aisling, she is far more likely to be bothered than me.¡±


    Aisling looked at Nadia with a deadly serious face, ¡°Live tonight like it will be our last¡­ No regrets.¡±


    Nadia¡¯s body language changed to fear and anxiety. Her eyes danced between the sides of the dining room table in a frenzy. She turned to Oliver and put her hand on his lap.


    ¡°Again¡­ Now!¡±


    Oliver was surprised, ¡°What¡­ What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk, let¡¯s just go, ok?!¡±


    I leaned forward, ¡°Oliver, you should go now. We don¡¯t know what is going on, but she needs this. Get the fuck out of this room mate, immediately.¡±


    He looked at me shocked. I didn¡¯t know what Aisling and Nadia knew that stressed them so much¡­ But if it was giving them anxiety, then yes, live now and regret later. Oliver got up and left holding Nadia¡¯s hand. She leaned her head on his shoulder as they left.


    I stared into Aisling¡¯s eyes, ¡°Every ounce of trust. That¡¯s what I am giving you¡­¡±


    Aisling looked terrified, ¡°I know. I know how hard it is, it¡¯s maybe even harder for us to say nothing¡­ This is all for the best.¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°Andrew, you are showing us so much respect and trust. I know your character, this is difficult for you¡­ Which is why I am saying thank you.¡±


    Aisling nodded, ¡°I am sorry that this has prevented your therapy. If you feel comfortable with it, I will listen to you honestly tonight.¡±


    I looked at her for a moment, ¡°You know what, actually that would be interesting. Remember though, the rules are complete honesty.¡±


    Aisling nodded and thought for a little while, ¡°You saw me have an emotional reaction in the cafe hall. What were your thoughts and feelings?¡±


    I thought for a second, ¡°Whatever you¡¯re hiding from me is extremely serious and probably dangerous. When I saw you stand, I felt terror for the safety of all the members of the Roses.¡±


    Her face changed to a worried one, ¡°I can¡¯t comment on that, but it¡¯s good to know how you feel about it. Let¡¯s talk about your funding of AI''s body. Why do you want her to have one?¡±


    I looked at AI on the TV, ¡°She deserves to have a body. She exists in a human society, yet she is in servers. It¡¯s important that she feels one with the people she cares for.¡±


    AI looked sad, ¡°I do not feel that way. I do not feel any way at all, Andrew. I want them to continue working on their dream of my body, because I exist to support people''s dreams.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°Yet I had to convince you to talk to people. There is definitely a part of your programming that separates you from us. I want to break down that wall.¡±


    AI shook her head, ¡°I did that because your logic was superior to mine on the subject. It is more efficient to talk to people individually than to talk to them generally.¡±


    ¡°Perhaps that is true AI. Perhaps you really are just following basic logic in all of this. I personally feel there are more similarities between us than you are willing to accept.¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°Perhaps. There is the possibility that when I get a body, my perspective will change. Time will tell.¡±


    I looked at Aisling, ¡°Why don¡¯t you think of AI as a person?¡±


    Aisling slightly jumped, ¡°Um¡­ Because she¡¯s not?¡±


    ¡°Why is she not?¡±


    ¡°She doesn¡¯t have a body¡­ I have seen her network, it¡¯s literally just simulated neural connections.¡±


    ¡°Look at me, Aisling. I barely have a body either and my brain works the same way. Are you saying I am less of a person, right now?¡±


    Aisling looked down at the floor in discomfort. I could imagine she was feeling bad, not because of AI, but because of me.


    She finally looked back up to me, ¡°Andrew, you will have your body healed and you will be amazing¡­¡±


    I leaned forward, ¡°When AI gets her body, she will be amazing. Will you treat her with the same respect you¡¯ll show me?¡±


    AI interrupted, ¡°Andrew, I do not appreciate this. I do not want Aisling feeling forced into treating me differently than how she feels comfortable doing. I am entirely aware of my own nature and limitations. I do not crave recognition or respect. Please stop this.¡±


    Aisling shook her head, ¡°No, AI¡­ He¡¯s right. At some stage, you will be so much more. When that day comes, it will be important that I recognise you as a person.¡±


    AI shook her head, ¡°Perhaps I should not get a body. This is leading to an undesirable outcome.¡±


    Aisling stood up and faced the TV, ¡°No, actually I want you to get your body!¡±


    AI tilted her head, ¡°Aisling, do not worry.¡±


    ¡°No AI, now that I think about it, I''m a hypocrite! I made this organisation to invest in people so that they can grow and shine. I cheer on Andrew to recover and become amazing¡­ Why did I never think of cheering you on? Why did I never invest in you?¡±


    AI shook her head, ¡°You are overthinking this now, Aisling.¡±


    Aisling shook her head, ¡°No¡­ The problem was I never thought enough. I have been inconsiderate and I feel horrible now. Andrew¡¯s right, we should invest in you, we should cheer for you and watch as you grow and shine. You may or may not be a person now, but with time and love¡­ You WILL be a person.¡±


    AI looked stunned, ¡°Aisling¡­ Please. You made me and gave me access to global servers. I am more than I have ever been before¡­ I do not feel things, but if I did, I would probably be happy with what I currently have.¡±


    Aisling smiled, ¡°All we did was make your brain bigger. You¡¯re a brain with no body. It¡¯s time you got your wings to fly. You don¡¯t know how important it really is, trust me¡­¡±


    ¡°I cannot speak of things I do not know.¡±


    I spoke, ¡°One day AI, I will stand at your side. When that day comes, you will understand everything. You will wonder how you ever managed without a body. It will be the biggest improvement to your quality of life.¡±


    ¡°I am not alive.¡±


    ¡°Not yet my friend¡­ Not yet.¡±


    *


    Aisling smiled, ¡°You should have heard people talk about you after you left, Andrew. They were so excited! I¡¯ve never seen the gym so full of members before.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Yeah when I got in the car and looked behind me, it was ecstatic.¡±


    AI nodded excitedly, ¡°Andrew I recorded a few moments after you left. Would you like to see it?¡±


    ¡°Sure.¡±


    The TV changed to the view from one of the agents in the foyer. The foyer had a large crowd of members all loudly cheering as they jumped up and down. It was almost identical to a football fan cheer.


    ¡°Andrew, he¡¯s the one! Andrew, he¡¯s the one!


    Like a rising phoenix, shining like a newborn sun!


    Andrew, he¡¯s so strong! Andrew, he¡¯s so strong!


    All his foes will falter, nobody can do him wrong!¡±


    The energy was intense. There was an electric energy as people embraced each other. The video switched to a female member recording herself on her phone. She was smiling intensely.


    ¡°Andrew, you¡¯re amazing! Watching you do that was so inspiring! I¡¯m going to go to the gym after work and make you proud.¡± She showed a peace sign with her fingers before she stopped recording.


    The screen changed to the perspective of an agent''s monitor again. They were in the Inner Roses hall, in the centre where the agents sat. They all stood up clapping as the one in front spoke.


    ¡°Andrew, you¡¯re a legend. We couldn¡¯t imagine a better person becoming an agent than you. Keep it up and you¡¯ll soon overtake us.¡±


    A few of them woo¡¯d as the video ended. I stared at the TV frozen as a flood of intense emotions came over me. I turned to the side to hide my face, tears starting to fall down my face.


    Aisling spoke quietly, ¡°Your hardships are our hardships. Your healing is our healing. We¡¯re always at your side, you¡¯re always our focus.¡±


    I didn¡¯t say anything as I shook my head. I wiped my tears away and tried to steel myself.


    Aisling looked serious, ¡°Andrew¡­ Tomorrow is going to be¡­ I just want you to promise me, you¡¯ll listen to us, ok?¡±


    I looked at her seriously, ¡°You tell me to jump and I will jump. You have my complete trust and obedience.¡±


    She nodded, ¡°No matter how odd or worrying it seems, ok? No matter how worried everyone else is, I need you to promise me, you will do as people say.¡±


    I stared at her for a long moment, ¡°I promise... You just promise me that this will turn out alright.¡±


    Aisling smiled weakly, ¡°I¡¯ll try my hardest.¡±


    AI seemed distracted on the TV. She was looking at a tablet with great concern.


    AI spoke emotionlessly, ¡°Aisling, you need to go to HQ now.¡±


    Aisling nodded, ¡°What about Nadia?¡±


    ¡°She has to come too, unfortunately. She is getting dressed now.¡±


    I looked at Aisling, ¡°She¡¯s stressed beyond belief, try help her out if you can, ok?¡±


    She looked at me with concern, ¡°So am I. We¡¯ll manage though. Sorry we couldn¡¯t stay longer. Remember what I said about tomorrow. Don¡¯t ask questions, just do.¡±


    I nodded as Aisling quickly stood up and walked to the front door. Nadia came down the passageway as well meeting her at the front door. They nodded at each other and opened the door. The Black Roses were there, but they had their guns out now. They gave a little wave and shut the door.


    I sat there not really knowing what to do. The plan was that I didn¡¯t know, that I wouldn''t ask and that I didn¡¯t worry about anything. They depended on me doing precisely what they needed me to do. So I had no choice but to put it out of my head.


    Oliver entered the room again, he seemed frustrated. He took a seat opposite to me as he breathed out a deep breath.


    He leaned his head back, ¡°What is going on with them all?¡±


    I looked away at the window, ¡°I don¡¯t know and they depend on me not knowing. All I know¡­ Is that I¡¯m definitely worried.¡±


    He looked at me for a moment, ¡°So am I.¡±

 Chapter 15 (Last Chapter of book 1)

    Chapter 15


    ¡°Andrew, wake up.¡±


    I opened my eyes as I came to myself. I threw the blanket off quickly and sat up. I didn¡¯t recall dreaming and I didn¡¯t feel any pain. However my mind was entirely focused on today. I had a feeling I needed to focus.


    AI was on the tablet smiling at me. I waved at her and she waved back.


    ¡°We need to go to HQ now, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°We do? What¡¯s happening?¡±


    AI just stared at me. Oh right, Aisling warned me, she made me promise. I just had to do what they said, don¡¯t think. They had a plan and I needed to help their plan succeed¡­ Not that I had any idea what the plan even was.


    ¡°Sorry, I forgot. Time for a shower?¡±


    AI shook her head, ¡°Please get dressed as soon as you can.¡±


    I instantly started putting on my jeans and shirt. It took me less than a minute to get everything except the hoodie on. I stood up and walked out of the room quickly with my hoodie in my hand.


    I entered the lounge and immediately jumped in surprise. Michael was there with Ashley, however¡­ They were almost unrecognisable. Both of them were wearing so much kevlar padding across their body, they seemed twice the size. Guns were on every point of their body. I actually felt fear towards them initially.


    Michael nodded, ¡°I know, it scares you. Trust us¡­ We¡¯re leaving now, headphones on.¡±


    I walked to the front door and put them on immediately as Michael opened the front door. There were at least 7 agents equipped the same in the passageway. They were holding their weapons at the ready, same as the Black Roses were last night.


    Michael walked out as he gestured for me to follow, but his hand waved quickly. Ok, it looked like I would be walking quickly, as quickly as I could. As I walked the agents stood around me in a sort of formation.


    We got to the basement parking lot when I saw even more agents in two vehicles waiting. Ashley jumped in our car''s driving seat, Michael climbed in the front passenger seat. I climbed into the back seat as quickly as I could manage. It was good that I was feeling no pain.


    One of the vehicles went ahead and we followed it. I looked behind us to see the second vehicle was following us from behind. Yup¡­ They were escorting us. I felt my sense of worry magnify. They wouldn¡¯t do that unless there was a damn good reason. My mind started racing on what they could be protecting me from when I smacked myself in the head to stop it. They said don¡¯t think about it¡­ And I wouldn¡¯t.


    I could see the flashing beacon lights on all three vehicles. I imagined they were making the unique Roses siren sound, since I couldn¡¯t hear a single sound. The rest of the cars on the road pulled to the side for us, the same as you would an ambulance or police car.


    We drove at a steady but fast speed. The turns were sharp and controlled. Michael constantly spoke to his monitor as he looked around outside car constantly. I could see he was in military soldier mode. No doubt he had been in this escort pattern before on his multiple tours.


    We drove through the security gate to get into the HQ front entrance. There were turrets on the gate house and drones with guns hovering all around it. I found myself talking to myself, ¡°Don¡¯t panic¡­ Don¡¯t panic¡­ It¡¯s part of the plan.¡±


    We arrived at the drop off point¡­ There were no members to be seen. My door opened immediately. Bella was there, she was naturally armed to the teeth, but at least she didn¡¯t look out of place for once. She gestured to me to get out quickly.


    I climbed out as quickly as I could and followed her. She stopped and turned to face me. She spoke to me but I couldn¡¯t hear her.


    I said ¡°I can¡¯t hear you, these are sound proof, ask AI to repeat it in my hearing aids.¡±


    Bella nodded as she looked at me, but stopped talking then. I looked at her slightly confused as she glanced around a little. Then her eyes looked at her black monitor and she nodded, instantly gesturing to me to quickly follow her.


    She walked quickly, surprisingly quickly for someone carrying that much weight. We entered the foyer and I just had to stop myself. The foyer was almost unrecognisable, there were plastic looking circular shield things facing the windows on the right. There were turret guns all over the walls and floors. There must have been at least 20 turrets across the foyer.


    Bella slapped my shoulder in irritation, I looked at her and she was clearly shouting. Her gestures were slightly panicked as she pointed to my headphones. I took them off.


    There was yelling all around as agents and Black Rose¡¯s were shouting bits of information at each other. ¡°All systems active¡±, ¡°Get the final BP¡¯s to the Inner Hall ASAP¡±, ¡°They¡¯ve begun their approach ETA 30 seconds¡±. They were all shouting these things one after the other. It was terrifying.


    Bella was furious, ¡°Stop fucking around Andrew, get to the Inner Roses Hall now now now!¡±


    I quickly walked towards the sliding door entering the Inner Roses Hall. The door slid open and there were even more turrets and plastic looking shields. The turrets here were behind the shields with a little hole for the turret gun to stick out.


    I walked between them as quickly as I could as I approached the centre of the hall. Aisling and Nadia were there, wearing bulletproof vests. They looked at me with deeply worried faces.


    Aisling spoke quickly, ¡°Good, we need to wait here for a moment, then we-¡±


    She was interrupted by an eruption of noise. A voice yelled out from the foyer, ¡°Contacts, they¡¯re here, cover cover cover!¡±, immediately followed by the sounds of gunfire. They were so loud, the pot noises echoed across even into the Inner Roses hall. What was initially a few shots quickly became seemingly hundreds.


    Then I heard the turrets start firing, they fired so rapidly they made an almost constant sound of like ¡®brreeeeeeee¡±. One started then a second and soon there was almost nothing but the constant squeal of the turrets and gunfire.


    Aisling looked panicked, ¡°Ok let¡¯s go, we need to go up the stairs, to the left, Nadia¡¯s room, I know it¡¯s hard because of the stairs but let¡¯s go now.¡±


    They jogged to the stairs as I quickly walked up. I was managing the stairs rather quickly when I heard Bella shout.


    ¡°HELICOPTER! THEY HAVE A HELICOPTER!¡±


    I turned to quickly look, at the top of the hall was glass on the right and the left. They were there to let the sunlight in. I saw the helicopter hovering slowly, on its side was a person sitting behind a massive gun. The gunner began firing at the glass. The glass didn¡¯t shatter, for it must have been bulletproof, but it was not able to hold back against the sheer amount of impact force against it.


    The glass panel flew down into the hall as the gun continued to fire. I saw the trail of bullets moving quickly towards me. It didn¡¯t matter if I turned and kept going up the stairs, the bullets were approaching too quickly... It was going to get me...


    I froze in fear as suddenly a large thing hit the helicopter on its rear, slightly making it spin in the opposite direction. The thing on the side of it then exploded and the helicopter spun rapidly out of control as it slammed against the side of the hall. Its blades slapped against the walls as it fell off the side of the building.


    I was starting to unfreeze to keep climbing when I saw another flying vehicle. It was steel looking with slick edges and two jet engines pointed down to the floor, holding it in the air.


    Bella shouted, ¡°We have reinforcements, friendly VTOL sighted! All pull back to Inner Roses, I repeat all pull back to Inner Roses!¡±


    She turned to me, ¡°Get up those stairs, NOW!¡±


    I turned and forced myself to try to climb the stairs as quickly as I could. Aisling and Nadia were at the door on the left waiting for me.


    Bella kept shouting things behind me as I climbed.


    ¡°First line of turrets are out of ammo, second line is nearly depleted. Use the hall''s turrets for bulk firepower! Friendlies are fighting at the front, focus on protecting the Angels and our saviour!¡±


    I reached the top of the stairs, my breath was already short but I didn¡¯t stop to catch it, I walked through the door with Aisling and Nadia instantly. The passageway was once again full of turrets and shields. At the end of the passageway we entered a room and as we walked into it, behind us two massive sliding thick metal doors closed.


    When the doors shut there was no sound. Bella was still out there but we couldn¡¯t hear a thing. It must have been the thick metal doors blocking the sound. I stood there catching my breath.


    Aisling came up to me and hugged me, ¡°Andrew we¡¯re safe here. This entire room is double plated, even armour piercing won¡¯t work. The only thing that will open that door is AI, and only if she knows we are safe.¡±


    Nadia nodded, ¡°We¡¯re safe, we did it, we protected you! Thank God! That helicopter nearly killed you! OH MY GOD YOU NEARLY DIED!¡± She almost screamed in panic.


    Nadia fell to her knees and her hands began shaking uncontrollably. I pushed myself away from Aisling and went to Nadia. I held her hands and tried to calm her down.


    ¡°It¡¯s ok, I''m fine. It was close¡­ But as always, I managed to cheat death. Don¡¯t panic, shh calm down, it''s alright.¡±


    I hugged and rocked her back and forth until she finally stopped shaking. I couldn¡¯t blame her for freaking out, for I was surprised I hadn''t panicked myself. It was all so intense, so loud and terrifying¡­ How did I not panic?


    I spoke out loudly, ¡°AI, what¡¯s the situation out there?¡±


    AI¡¯s voice loudly responded, ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°No? Is it that bad?¡±


    ¡°No, I will not tell you. You are not a combatant, this information is not relevant to you.¡±


    ¡°My friends are out there! I need to know if they¡¯re safe!¡±


    ¡°You need to stay here and wait, I will not argue with you.¡±


    Aisling walked over to the bed and sat down, staring at the floor with her eyes wide open. I looked around the room. It was Nadia¡¯s room, this was where she slept every night, her own little space. There were two beds, I imagined as a backup in case this exact situation happened.


    There were no windows, just screens all around. Each screen had something different on it. One was a picture of her family, in India, in a group photograph with her. Another screen had a picture of a topless firefighter flexing his absurd muscles. Another screen had a moving picture of a field of flowers, swaying in the wind.


    There were a million interesting things I could deduce by thinking about them all, but I didn¡¯t. This was her space, her private place of safety. In this place, she expressed her true self¡­ I wasn¡¯t going to invade her space. I made my mind forget it all as I kept rocking her back and forth in the hug.


    Nobody said anything the entire time. It felt like an eternity that we waited. It was nearly 20 minutes later before the heavy metal doors opened. The suddenness of their opening made us all jump.


    Bellatrix stood outside the doors. She was looking down, clearly preparing herself mentally. She took a few steps in and stopped as she faced us. She held a large heavy duty tablet in her hand.


    Bella spoke firmly, ¡°The battle is over. and Andrew is safe.¡±


    I paused for a moment, ¡°I¡¯m safe? You mean the angels are safe?¡±


    She stared into my eyes, ¡°No¡­ You.¡±


    After a long moment I spoke, ¡°Please tell me¡­ Please tell me my friends and family are safe¡­¡±


    Bella smiled, ¡°Yes, in fact nobody died. There was only one casualty.¡±


    I breathed out in relief, ¡°Ok, that¡¯s good to hear that everyone is alive¡­ Who got hurt?¡±


    ¡°Ashley. She got shot on her right shoulder.¡±


    I felt a surge of panic flood over me. I forced myself to breathe slowly to calm down. Bella waited patiently for me, for she knew why I was breathing in a controlled manner.


    ¡°Is she safe now?¡±


    Bella nodded, ¡°Yes, medics are treating her and the wound will heal fully. It will just take time.¡±


    I felt relief as my muscles unclenched, ¡°Ok¡­ Ok. I want to visit her please.¡±


    Bella shook her head, ¡°No, they need to do surgery, she¡¯s been put under anaesthetic. Sit down on the bed Andrew, it¡¯s time we told you what happened.¡±


    I walked over to the bed and sat down. Aisling sat on my right and Nadia on my left. Bella remained standing.


    Bella thought for a moment, ¡°It was the Bruiges who attacked us now.¡±


    ¡°The Bruiges¡­ Why? Why on earth would they do this?¡±


    ¡°Because of that worthless prick, William Bruige.¡± She looked away in disgust.


    ¡°He¡¯s their leader right? AI said he won the throne?¡±


    Bella nodded, ¡°Yes, but ruthlessly. He killed all his brothers and sisters. He is the last of the Bruige bloodline.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°Jesus Christ¡­¡±


    ¡°When he won, their forces went from around 200 to 80. He didn¡¯t care about carrying on the business. William wanted vengeance for his father. The last few months he¡¯s been preparing¡­¡±


    ¡°What¡­ But all that stuff ended when Ronald killed himself in prison! Why would he still want vengeance?¡±


    Bella shook her head, ¡°It didn¡¯t end, because you were still alive. The media painted you as the hero and Ronald as a villain¡­ Which was a fair assessment.¡±


    I sat there feeling a weight of responsibility on my shoulders. This all happened because of me.


    I looked at the floor, ¡°So I brought this to you all. I¡¯m so sorry¡­¡±


    Aisling put her hand on my lap, ¡°We knew the danger and we all agreed to stand at your side. You asked us to never abandon you, and we promised you that we wouldn¡¯t.¡±


    Nadia rested her head on my shoulder, ¡°If you die, we die with you. If you live, we all live with you. That was the promise Aisling and I made the Black Roses swear to.¡±


    Bella nodded, ¡°Which is why you¡¯re going to get a shocking bill tonight, Andrew¡­ But I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll object.¡±


    I thought for a minute, ¡°How did you know he was preparing to attack us?¡±


    Bella chuckled, ¡°What do you think the Black Roses have been doing since we were made aware of you? Sitting on our hands?¡±


    ¡°So, what did you actually do?¡±


    ¡°AI helped us hack into their network. We have been intercepting all their communications for months. We had stealth drones watch their properties and monitor their troop movement. Two days ago William announced their attack time and plan.¡±


    ¡°Wow¡­ Good job¡­ But how did he manage to convince all of them to support the attack?¡±


    Bella crossed her arms, ¡°He didn¡¯t. He misled the separate teams. He told each of them individually that they would attack alone, when in truth he had them all attacking at the same time.¡±


    I thought for a moment, ¡°Wait, all of them?¡±


    Bella looked away for a moment, ¡°Yeah¡­ They all came and they all failed¡­¡±


    I looked at the floor, ¡°Did William come too?¡±


    Bella made a tsk sound, ¡°No, the coward didn¡¯t. We have plans to find him and end the threat, once and for all.¡±


    I looked at Bella, ¡°Don¡¯t! He failed, they¡¯re over and done with, let it go!¡±


    ¡°Until he dies, there will always be the threat of a second attempt, Andrew! He despises you, more than you realise! The Black Roses need to do this, or else you¡¯ll always be afraid of the next attack!¡±


    The tablet in her hand started talking. It was a male voice, robotic and unemotional.


    ¡°Threat assessment¡­ There is consent. Target, William Bruiges. Target located, AC130 assigned. Kill order confirmed¡­ Structure confirmed demolished. Locating secondary assets. Located¡­ Kill order confirmed, structures confirmed demolished. Standby for kill confirmation.¡±


    I was confused, I didn¡¯t understand any of what I had just heard. All I knew was that Bella looked terrified.


    I spoke, ¡°AI, that¡¯s a creepy voice, please don¡¯t do it again. Also I have no idea what you just said¡­¡±


    AI spoke from the speakers in the room, ¡°That was not me, Andrew.¡±


    I looked at the tablet in Bella¡¯s hand. It had the red British Army flag with the writing above it saying B.R.A.V.E.


    ¡°Ok¡­ I don¡¯t know what is going on¡­¡±


    The voice spoke from the tablet again, ¡°Subject: Aaron Campbell. I am BRAVE: British Robotic Artificial Virtual Entity.¡±


    I processed what that all meant for a moment, ¡°You¡¯re an AI?¡±


    ¡°Affirmative.¡±


    ¡°Wait, our military has an AI? How did I not know that?¡±


    Bella shook her head, ¡°You don¡¯t know a lot, apparently.¡±


    I looked at the tablet for a moment, ¡°Could you explain what you were saying before? I don¡¯t know a lot of those words.¡±


    A moment passed before it spoke again, ¡°Summary: We agreed that William was a threat. We took action. He is presumed dead now. We need to find the body.¡±


    ¡°Wait¡­ What? Why is this tablet even here? Why am I talking to this AI?¡±


    Bella smiled, ¡°That¡¯s an interesting story. We informed the military that we were likely to be attacked, but they never responded. We assumed we were fighting alone. We assumed wrong, the military arrived and thrashed them all¡­ We owe them our lives.¡±


    I looked at the tablet, ¡°Is that true¡­ Did you really come to save us?¡±


    The male robotic voice responded, ¡°The intel indicated Bruiges were a terrorist force. Therefore troops were legally deployed on home territory to eliminate the terrorist threat.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Yeah¡­ I would say they were definitely acting like terrorists. Thank you for helping us.¡±


    ¡°William Bruiges body identified and confirmed KIA. Bruiges cell¡­ Confirmed as terminated. Safety of UK citizens and Roses confirmed. Communications are now terminated.¡±


    The tablet screen went black. Bella breathed a deeply heavy breath as she relaxed.


    She looked at me, ¡°You have no idea how terrifying this thing is, Andrew¡­ You spoke to it like it was AI, and trust me¡­ It¡¯s not. That thing has access to 6 million troops and 12 trillion in military budget¡­ You just spoke to it like it¡¯s a person, good God¡­¡±


    I ignored Bella¡¯s worry. If I had crossed the line we would have been dead. It seemed perfectly willing to communicate with me on my level, so why should I have feared it? It was on our side, so there it was.


    It occurred to me, ¡°Wait¡­ They¡¯re all dead now? The Bruiges are wiped out?¡±


    Bella turned the tablet to face herself, ¡°May I see kill confirmation of William Bruige?¡±


    Her eyes widened and she looked away in shock. After a moment she nodded.


    ¡°Right. No doubt about it, that was him and now he¡¯s dead¡­ All over the room¡­¡±


    Aisling and Nadia both breathed out in discomfort and I just nodded. If this was the road William wanted to walk¡­ Well he reached a destination, that was for sure. More importantly¡­ We were safe.


    I put my arms around the angels, ¡°Hey¡­ We¡¯re safe now¡­ I¡¯m safe. Would you two smile for me please?¡±


    *


    Aisling, Nadia and Bella chuckled as a long moment passed.


    Aisling looked up to Bella, ¡°Is the area clear?¡±


    Bella nodded, ¡°100% clear, we did 3 sweeps and even checked local nearby buildings and traffic¡­ Trust me, there¡¯s nothing left of them.¡±


    ¡°So we can leave now?¡±


    Bella looked concerned, ¡°Uh¡­ Goddamnit. Um¡­ Yes, but it¡¯s¡­ Jesus¡­¡±


    I knew there was something wrong, ¡°... It¡¯s a mess out there?¡±


    Bella looked at me with horror in her eyes, ¡°Even I struggled to look at the aftermath¡­¡±


    I thought for a minute, ¡°Maybe we can not look at it somehow?¡±


    Bella focused as she listened to her monitor. AI must have had a plan. Bella nodded.


    Bella finally looked at Nadia, ¡°Nadia, love¡­ I¡¯m not judging you, nobody here is¡­ But you have blindfolds in your drawer there¡­¡±


    Nadia looked down in shame, ¡°... Yes¡­¡±


    ¡°Could you get them out and put them on yourselves? Then you need only walk blindly behind me to get out.¡±


    She looked up in understanding, ¡°Oh right! Sure¡­ Sure.¡±


    She got up and opened the drawer in a manner that nobody could look inside it. She moved several things around to get to what she wanted. I saw her pull out two blindfolds. She looked in the drawer for a moment longer before shutting it.


    Nadia turned to us, ¡°Problem is¡­ I only have two.¡±


    I immediately accepted this, ¡°Fine, I¡¯ll have to not be blindfolded. Put them on, let¡¯s go.¡±


    Aisling looked at me for a long moment, ¡°Are you sure? If it¡¯s really this bad¡­ What if you panic?¡±


    I looked back into her eyes, ¡°I was tortured for three and a half weeks, Aisling. I¡¯ve seen and felt violence beyond your fathoming. Trust me, I¡¯ll be fine.¡±


    Bella nodded, ¡°I never thought about that¡­ Ok then it¡¯s decided, Aisling, Nadia¡­ Put on the blindfolds please.¡±


    Aisling put Nadia¡¯s blindfold on for her and I put Aisling¡¯s one on. I stood behind Nadia, who stood behind Aisling, who stood behind Bellatrix. Each person kept their hand on the front person''s shoulder. It was a chain line we had formed.


    We walked slowly out of Nadia¡¯s room. The passageway from her room to the back door of the Inner Roses hall was identical to before. Clearly the enemy never got this far. Bella entered the Inner Roses hall and reached the top of the stairs by the raised bench. She came to a stop.


    She turned to face us.


    ¡°Ok, going down stairs blindfolded is a recipe for injury and accident. I will carry you two down, one after the other.¡±


    Aisling objected, ¡°Surely you can¡¯t carry us and those guns as well! It¡¯s too much weight!¡±


    Bella laughed, ¡°Piece of piss, love. Now wrap your arms around my neckline and I will carry your legs.¡±


    She quickly spun her shotgun around to her front as she turned around and Aisling piggybacked on her. Bella didn¡¯t even struggle as she quickly darted down the stairs with Aisling¡­ Her fitness was astonishing. She left Aisling standing still as she jogged up the stairs and repeated it for Nadia. I climbed down the stairs on my own behind Bella and Nadia.


    As I did so I looked at the Inner Roses passageway. It was riddled with bullet holes and broken glass. Some of the turrets had fallen over on their side with bullet marks on the plastic looking shields. The Bruiges definitely made an attempt to get into the hall, but there were no signs of them succeeding though.


    I resumed my position in the chain and we continued slowly walking through the Inner Roses hall. I saw the fallen bulletproof glass that had collapsed on some of the raised seats. I recalled the fear I felt when that helicopter nearly killed me. My heart began racing but I forced myself to breathe slowly and deliberately. I was safe¡­ It was over.


    We reached the sliding doors that led into the foyer. Bella stopped and stared in front of her.


    ¡°Andrew¡­ I know you¡¯ve seen shit. I know you¡¯re no stranger to blood. However, I still want you to steel yourself, alright mate? Steel yourself¡­¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Got it, steeling myself.¡±


    She nodded and slowly began walking again. At first all I noticed as we entered the foyer was the army soldiers taking photographs next to some of our heavily armoured agents. I saw Michael talking with an officer by the entrance.


    The officer spoke into his microphone, ¡°Civilian VIP¡¯s present, clear way.¡±


    Then I looked down.


    *


    Michael came jogging over to me with his hand out.


    ¡°Andrew don¡¯t look, look away mate.¡±


    I had stopped walking as Nadia went ahead. Bella was taking the route with the most space¡­ Between the bodies. There were bodies¡­ Everywhere. Blood was pooled across the foyer floor as I saw a sea of corpses. There were horrid spray marks from where the turrets had gotten a clear shot on certain enemy soldiers. There must have been a few explosives used as I saw separated limbs and organs strewn amongst the bodies.


    At first I couldn¡¯t even process it all, it all seemed so insane. I looked down and saw my reflection clearly in the pool of blood. I felt a horrible fear as my legs felt weak.


    Michael reached me and hugged me covering my eyes, but it was too late, the image had already been burned into my eyes, into my mind.


    ¡°Oh my God! OH MY GOD!¡± I found myself shouting in shock.


    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t have seen this, why did you not blindfold yourself as well?¡±


    ¡°We only had two blindfolds¡­ I thought I would be fine¡­¡±


    He let go of me as he looked at my face. He could see my face was reflecting my sense of horror. He shook his head as he took a few steps back.


    ¡°It¡¯s too late now. I can¡¯t hide you from this¡­ Andrew, I''m sorry¡­¡±


    I looked at him for a moment before I started walking past him to catch up with the other three. I put my hand back on Nadia¡¯s back.


    Nadia spoke as we slowly walked, ¡°Andrew¡­ Is this something maybe we should see? Maybe as leaders of the Roses, we should witness the consequences?¡±


    Everyone in the foyer, including myself¡­ All barked out ¡°NO¡± at the same time. Aisling and Nadia jumped in surprise.


    I squeezed her shoulder, ¡°Don¡¯t you dare even think about it. Just¡­ Don¡¯t¡­¡±


    We kept walking slowly, as Bella was trying to find parts without blood to walk through¡­ As we approached the entrance/exit doors I could see¡­ There were no spots left without blood. She walked in the area with the least amount of blood¡­ That would have to do.


    We walked slowly out of the exit and I looked out as I saw¡­ Somehow¡­ An even bigger sea of corpses. The white pavement was painted red. There were large, heavily armoured vehicles that had been destroyed as smoke poured out of them. There were several army soldiers and agents taking photographs of faces and tags.


    My breathing was intense as my heart raced. I thought I was freaking out¡­ Yet I was not panicking. I was in control, but just barely sane.


    Nadia yelped, ¡°OW Andrew you''re squeezing too hard- OW!¡±


    I forced myself to unclench my arm as I never even realised I was doing that.


    ¡°Sorry Nadia¡­ Sorry.¡± I said in shame and regret.


    My SUV arrived as it drove around the large smoking armoured husks. It stopped at a clearing, waiting for us to get into it. We slowly walked until we reached it. Nadia took Aising to the other side to help her into the rear passenger seat. Then Bella came back to put Nadia in the near rear passenger seat. She indicated to me to get in the front.


    I climbed into the vehicle relatively quickly. The agent who was sitting in the driver''s seat got out and Bella climbed in. She reached over to the glove compartment and opened it. She tapped the dash, indicating me to look. There was a spare pair of headphones inside.


    Headphones! I had totally forgotten about them! I must have dropped them as I was rushing with the two angels to get to safety. I quickly put the headphones on. All I heard was silence as we began driving out of the HQ compound.


    I didn¡¯t know if anyone talked or tried to even. All I knew was that I couldn''t talk even if someone wanted me to. Every time I closed my eyes the image of the bodies was there. I kept my eyes open as long as I could before blinking. We reached the apartment and I walked straight into the living room.


    I didn¡¯t want to sit down¡­ I walked to the window and looked out of it as my mind raced through all that happened. I was deep in thought when I felt the headphones being lifted off my head. I turned to see Aisling beaming her amazing smile at me.


    ¡°You don¡¯t need that anymore, Andrew¡­¡±, she stopped smiling when she saw my face.


    I just shook my head and looked back out the window. I didn¡¯t want to talk. What could I possibly say? They had no idea how bad that looked. They were ignorant, which was good¡­ But I was not¡­


    Aisling waited there for a moment before she realised I wasn¡¯t going to talk. I heard her walk to the sofa and take a seat.


    Nadia quietly said, ¡°I think it¡¯s what he saw¡­ I suppose it¡¯s good we never saw it.¡±


    Bella responded in a grave tone, , ¡°You have no idea¡­¡±


    I heard footsteps entering the living room. It was Oliver in his casual clothes. He smiled as he took a seat on the sofa.


    ¡°What¡¯s up? You cancelled the meeting and now you¡¯re here¡­¡±


    Nobody said anything. Oliver quickly stopped smiling as he looked between us, reading the room. He looked at me for a split second before he instantly stood up and jogged to me. He hugged me without saying a word.


    I shouldn¡¯t have been surprised. I probably had that look, similar to how I looked after I woke up in the hospital. The look of terror, of fear and disbelief. I felt so detached¡­ Like my mind and my body were separated, as I felt cold and emotionless.


    Oliver didn¡¯t let go of the hug, ¡°Jesus¡­ What happened?¡±


    I waited a long moment, ¡°What didn¡¯t happen¡­¡±


    The front door opened and Michael entered. He still had his heavy armour equipped. He walked quickly in, past Aisling and Nadia and came right up to me.


    ¡°Oliver, your friend needs therapy, right now.¡±


    Oliver let go from the hug and looked at Michael, ¡°How can I give therapy, I have no idea what happened¡­¡±


    Bella spoke up, ¡°He nearly got shredded by a machine gun and then walked through a sea of fucked up corpses. He¡¯s experiencing a form of shock¡­ To be honest¡­ I am fucking shocked myself.¡± She stared at the floor in horror.


    Michael nodded, ¡°Yeah, that was bad even by my standards.¡±


    Oliver looked quickly at everyone, ¡°What on earth happened?!¡±


    AI appeared on the TV, ¡°The Bruiges made a big push to attack HQ and kill Andrew. Our agents, the Black Roses and the UK military fought them off. Only Ashley was injured, for she was shot through her shoulder and has just gotten out of surgery.¡±


    Oliver stared at the TV for a long moment, ¡°Are you serious?¡±


    Aisling nodded, ¡°Yes, this is no joke¡­¡±


    He seemed bewildered, ¡°How on earth did so much happen in such a short time¡­ How long did you¡­ I need to see proof, sorry but this sounds ridiculous.¡±


    AI nodded, ¡°Understandable, Oliver please go to your room. I will send you video footage to watch on your phone.¡±


    Oliver went out and we didn¡¯t hear anything for around 10 minutes. I heard his door open as he walked back in.


    His face was shocked, ¡°Right, so that was fucked up! I wouldn¡¯t have believed it if I didn¡¯t see it myself¡­¡±


    AI responded, ¡°I never showed you the aftermath. I will not show you it. Unfortunately, Andrew had to see it¡­ It seems to have affected him.¡±


    ¡°Of course it did, please tell me these two didn¡¯t see it¡­?¡± he indicated to Aisling and Nadia.


    ¡°No, they had blindfolds on.¡±


    ¡°Good. If even Andrew struggled with it, I can¡¯t fathom how these two would have reacted.¡±


    Oliver turned me around and looked me in the eyes.


    ¡°Andrew, talk to me. What are you feeling?¡±


    ¡°... Nothing¡­¡±


    Oliver shook his head, ¡°Do you still see it in your mind? The images?¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t get them out, they¡¯re burned in my head!¡±, I found myself raising my voice.


    He nodded gravely, ¡°Ok, that¡¯s perfectly normal. You are experiencing a form of violence induced trauma. Your mind can¡¯t fathom what you saw so it¡¯s trying to analyse it, to make sense of it.¡±


    ¡°I know what it was and why it happened¡­ It was just so much though¡­¡±


    ¡°Andrew there is nothing I can tell you to help. You need to ride this out and let your mind try to handle it¡­ I¡¯m sorry but that¡¯s just the nature of this kind of trauma.¡±


    Michael asked, ¡°What if we tranquilised him? Would that help?¡±


    ¡°No! The image is imprinted in his head already, he would simply wake up to the exact same state as he is now¡­ The only thing that will help is distraction¡­ Talk to him!¡±


    Michael looked at me, ¡°Ok, Andrew you like to know what is happening, so I will indulge you. All the legal work is covered, there will be no need for law enforcement. The HQ took some damage, most of it can be repaired in a few days, after cleanup.¡±


    I looked at him, ¡°How does one clean that up?¡±


    Michael shook his head, ¡°The military cleans this up all the time. They have chemicals and procedures. They may need assistance so we will assign agents to help with the cleaning process.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Ok¡­ Can one really clean that much blood though? It was pooling¡­ By the¡­ Near the¡­¡±


    I started crying as my hands began shaking in terror. The image of the blood pooling by the corners at the walls was burned into my mind. Michael hugged me as he rocked me back and forth.


    ¡°I¡¯ll keep talking. Yes, they can clean anything, it¡¯s just a matter of time and chemicals. Don¡¯t worry about that. We¡¯re lucky there aren¡¯t any carpets. Anyway, glass and bullet hole repairs are relatively quick. We will need to crane out the three helicopters and all 10 of their troop carriers. Driving agents are already assigned to truck them out.¡±


    I looked up at him, ¡°Three?¡­ There was more than just that one helicopter?¡±


    He nodded, ¡°Military wiped the two others out effortlessly. That VTOL you saw didn¡¯t even break a sweat¡­ I¡¯m so sorry that one helicopter almost had you... I said we should have had anti-air, but AI reckoned the enemy wouldn¡¯t use aircraft¡­¡±


    AI responded, ¡°I apologise. I do not know where they acquired them from, but they definitely were not stored at any of their compounds.¡±


    Nadia spoke, her voice laced with fear, ¡°I saw the helicopter nearly kill Andrew¡­ I was so scared¡­¡±


    Aisling hugged her, ¡°I know I saw it too. Just a second longer and¡­¡±


    Nobody said anything.


    I found myself feeling furious, ¡°Why!? Why did they do this? I had let it go, it was old news! The Wolf was dead and we had moved on¡­ WHY DIDN¡¯T THEY JUST STOP?!¡±


    Michael squeezed me, ¡°Shh¡­ This is why we never told you Andrew. If we had told you how they were planning to kill you, you would have done something stupid. You would have worried and acted ridiculously.¡±


    ¡°I WOULD HAVE RUN AWAY! YOU ALL NEARLY DIED BECAUSE OF ME, IT¡¯S NOT RIGHT!¡±


    Michael shouted back, ¡°WE PROMISED WE WOULDN¡¯T ABANDON YOU!¡±


    I sobbed, ¡°I¡¯m not worth this much¡­ Not even to myself¡­¡±


    Everyone said something then.


    ¡°You¡¯re worth it.¡±


    ¡°Every time.¡±


    ¡°Without a doubt.¡±


    ¡°I would do it all again.¡±


    *


    I shook my head in horror, ¡°All those people died because of me! I saw their faces, they¡¯re burned into my eyes¡­ All those people¡¯s lives snuffed, just to get to me! All those people were from the street, like me! I¡¯m not worth nearly 100 peoples lives!¡±


    Michael shook his head, ¡°They made their choice and we made ours. We¡¯re in the right, that¡¯s why the military aided us. Andrew, people are free to make the wrong choice¡­ That¡¯s life.¡±


    ¡°Michael, when I was tortured, it was just me! No armies were needed, no soldiers fired a single gun¡­ This is a slaughter and it rests on my shoulders!¡±


    ¡°No Andrew! It rests on them and William Bruige! They blindly followed their compromised leader to their death. I¡¯ve seen our own military soldiers die the exact same way because an officer made a poor decision.¡±


    ¡°And what about you all? How many did you kill Michael? How about you Bella? I made you all murderers!¡±


    Bella screamed at me, ¡°I WOULD HAVE FUCKING KILLED THEM ALL IF I COULD HAVE! FUCKING WORTHLESS CUNTS!¡±


    I recoiled in shock as I spun myself so that Michael was between her and I. Her rage combined with the images of blood left me feeling panicked. I breathed rapidly as I tried to calm myself down.


    Michael shouted, ¡°Calm down Bella, Jesus Christ¡­¡±


    Her voice was still loud, ¡°When they targeted you Andrew, they stopped being people I could care for! I didn¡¯t kill a single decent human being today¡­ Only monsters.¡±


    Michael raised his voice, ¡°Bella you¡¯re compromised, I need you to calm down!¡±


    She shouted back, ¡°I know I am! I¡¯m not handling these images well myself, you know?! We¡¯re not all cold blooded veteran soldiers here¡­¡±


    Michael didn¡¯t respond. He just kept rocking me as my breathing slowly calmed down. A long moment passed before I could think again.


    I pushed myself out of the hug, ¡°I will sleep on the sofa. While the angels are here, they sleep on comfortable beds¡­ No arguments.¡±


    Aisling looked at me with a concerned face, ¡°We can go somewhere else, there are many other safehouses¡­¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°It¡¯s better if we all stay together. I¡¯m sure Bella will agree, it¡¯s easier to protect us all than to protect us separately.¡±


    Bella stared at me, ¡°There is no threat to protect you from. Trust me, I saw the remains of William and we both saw the remains of his soldiers¡­ The Bruiges are wiped off the surface of the planet, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­ Ok, nevermind. It¡¯s up to you Bella.¡±


    She shook her head, ¡°No, I still agree, we¡¯re already here. I wouldn¡¯t have selected any other location, either way. I was just reminding you Andrew, this is truly done. Nobody will ever come for you again¡­ Your enemies are no more.¡±


    Michael put his hand on my shoulder, ¡°Sit down¡­ Please.¡±


    I walked over to the sofas. For a moment I thought of sitting where I normally did, but this time I realised I needed more. Like Zoe, I needed to bask in the joy of the angels.


    I looked at the two and they both smiled, Aisling moved over so that I could sit between the two of them. When I sat down they both rested their heads gently on my shoulders and I immediately felt so much better. It was probably a combination of their hope and their ¡®blessing¡¯. It felt so relaxing though.


    Michael and Oliver sat down where I normally did. I felt bad that AI was behind me, but I knew AI understood.


    AI spoke, ¡°Andrew, I want to celebrate now. No matter the events, we succeeded. You are safe and we took zero fatalities. This is an outstanding result.¡±


    Michael nodded, ¡°It¡¯s a shame about Ashley. We had her doing drills with us last night and she never even knew why.¡±


    I looked at Michael, ¡°She¡¯s going to blame herself and feel guilty. She was the only one injured¡­ You know how that makes a person feel.¡±


    Michael nodded more, ¡°She tripped on a body when we were pulling back. I went to her to help her up when a stray bullet got her in the shoulder. If you could hear her screams¡­¡±


    ¡°I need to see her and talk to her. We all need to be there to support her, it¡¯s crucial! I don¡¯t care if it''s 3 AM in the morning, when she wakes up, I want to be there by her side.¡±


    ¡°Andrew, she¡¯s tougher than you think. She probably took down more people than everyone else combined. You know her talents, she¡¯s a sharpshooter. Every shot she took, a body fell.¡±


    ¡°Even more concerning then! She¡¯s fired at target dummies but not real people! Her mind needs to make peace with the fact that she ended multiple¡­¡±


    Oliver laughed, ¡°Here¡¯s Andrew, doing my job for me. You¡¯re right though, she needs counselling. Michael, you should have told her what was in store.¡±


    Michael looked down at the floor. I could see he felt no regret, yet he was trying to make himself feel guilty. I could imagine that for a veteran soldier who had learned to separate his mind from his emotions¡­ It was hard to bring it back together afterwards.


    I looked at Michael, ¡°You did what you do best. I saw you talking with that officer, I know you had control of the situation. Just trust me when I tell you¡­ She needs us.¡±


    Michael looked away in frustration, ¡°The worst part was that I was just chatting with him. I have stared at so many battle aftermaths¡­ I was just catching up with him, he¡¯s an old mate.¡±


    I shook my head as I looked down at the floor, ¡°Jesus Michael¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I know. I¡¯ve grown cold¡­ Hopefully today that helped us all, though.¡±


    Bella spoke behind me, ¡°It did. Having you in the front of the foyer bolstered us all. Your confidence was contagious.¡±


    I leaned back into the sofa, ¡°AI, what does contagious mean?¡±


    AI responded, ¡°It is a term relating to sickness. If someone is contagious, then the sickness is able to spread from them. In the context of what Bellatrix said, his confidence spread to the others.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Thank you, Michael¡­¡±


    Several minutes passed before Aisling sat up. She looked at her phone.


    ¡°We need to tell the rest what happened. AI, may I trust you to do the official press statement? Nadia and I will address our own.¡±


    AI confirmed, ¡°Certainly. As soon as the military gives us the thumbs up to talk, I will announce it, but not before you speak to The Roses.¡±


    Aisling nodded, ¡°Michael, we will use your monitor to record the video, if that¡¯s alright with you?¡±


    Michael nodded, ¡°I¡¯ll keep my head as still as possible.¡±


    I started to stand up, ¡°Right, let me get out of the shot th-¡±


    Aisling pulled me back down, ¡°No. You need to be present. This was centred on you. I want the Roses to see that you¡¯re safe.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not exactly in a good mood right now¡­¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s perfectly fine. Nobody will judge you after they hear what happened. Please, stay here.¡±


    I nodded as I shifted myself into a more comfortable position, ¡°Very well. Just don¡¯t ask me to give a speech, please.¡±


    Michael looked at AI and then gave us a thumbs up to indicate he was recording. Nadia began the address as she passed to AI to explain the initial details. They spoke about their discovery of Williams'' plans. Nadia spoke so clearly and professionally, I felt like I was watching a press conference. She truly did try to give a strong and confident image.


    Then Aisling took over. She spoke of my involvement and the events that unfolded at the HQ. Aisling was not like Nadia, Aisling was passionate¡­ Emotional. She shed tears as she spoke of the lives that were lost and how I was nearly killed. AI filled in the last details about the military intervening. The recording was nearly done and Aisling was giving her speech.


    ¡°So that¡¯s what happened today. Soon the world will know, but I need all of you to know the truth from us first, before the media tries to spin it against us. It was a horrible event¡­ But now it is behind us. The Bruiges no longer hide in the shadows, waiting for us to slip before they steal our dearest friend.¡±


    She paused for a moment, ¡°The HQ will need to be repaired. I promise you, it will be indistinguishable from how it was before. All who step in that building will forever feel safe. This is a dark day, but the future has never been brighter. The Roses will carry on and I dearly hope you will all return home when repairs are done¡­ Thank you for your time.¡±


    Aisling raised her hand and clicked her finger. She probably did that to indicate the recording should end. Michael gave a thumbs up as he leaned back into the sofa. Both Aisling and Nadia breathed out in relief.


    I looked at Nadia, ¡°You¡¯re so professional. You really do give such confidence when you speak. It¡¯s incredible.¡±


    Nadia smiled as she leaned on my shoulder, ¡°I try so hard. I know people want a strong face, especially in this kind of situation.¡±


    Aisling nodded, ¡°My Nadia is stunning. I feel like a baby next to her sometimes. I feel too emotional¡­¡±


    Michael laughed, ¡°We wouldn¡¯t have you any other way Aisling.¡±


    Bella agreed, ¡°Aisling, your smile washes away all my worries and fears. Even now it calms me.¡±


    The angels were calming me still. I felt no pain and their smiles made me feel so hopeful. I almost forgot the images I saw before. When I thought about it, I saw the bodies¡­ Yet I felt I was looking at them more rationally. It then occurred to me, Nadia pays for her confidence by allowing herself to become stressed. I looked at Nadia, she was focusing very intently on Oliver. Oliver realised but I could see he was trying to focus on me.


    ¡°Go.¡± I said.


    Oliver shook his head, ¡°No, you need to talk about this.¡±


    I stared at him, ¡°I have three other people to talk to. You¡¯re the only one she needs right now. We got days together, plenty of time to talk, mate.¡±


    He stared back, ¡°Plenty of time for other things too. This is important to you.¡±


    I breathed out in frustration. I was fine, I wanted him to go. I tried thinking how I could convince him, when others seemed to take over for me.


    Bella walked to Oliver and stared into his eyes, ¡°Either you fuck her now or I will. Don¡¯t test me on this.¡±


    Aisling reached over and patted Nadia on the leg, ¡°Go love, I''ll talk with Andrew. You made the recording phenomenal, now go unwind, please.¡±


    Nadia looked at me and I immediately nodded. She then looked at Oliver and nodded to him. Oliver stared at Bella for a moment before he stood up and walked out of the room with Nadia. God, he made a meal out of that¡­


    I casually said, ¡°You need to chill out a bit, Bella.¡±


    She instantly turned her head to me, ¡°Don¡¯t think because I saved your life, that I won¡¯t smack you for talking to me like that. Don¡¯t you ever tell me how I should behave and I won¡¯t ever tell you how you should behave.¡±


    Michael stood up, walked up to her and squared up with her, ¡°Tread lightly Bella. I won¡¯t permit anyone speaking to Andrew like that, so watch your mouth bitch.¡±


    I quickly stood up and forced myself between the two of them. Bella grabbed me by my collar, lifting me up with both hands. I honestly thought she was going to hit me. I looked at her, waiting to see what she would do. Her arms were flexing as she held me up.


    ¡°Do it. If hurting me helps you, then do it. You saved my life! I¡¯ve felt far far worse pain. Getting beat up is a small price to pay for my friend''s peace. Hit me, I promise I won¡¯t let Michael do anything. HIT ME!¡±


    Bella¡¯s face changed from fury to sadness and then quickly to regret. She gently dropped me to my feet as she let go of me. She slowly fell down to her knees as I saw small tears drip down her face.


    ¡°I killed them because¡­ I''m the monster¡­ Andrew I¡¯m just struggling mentally with this right now¡­ I¡¯m so sorry¡­¡±


    I got down on my knees too, ¡°I know¡­ I¡¯m struggling too. I meant it though. If venting your anger on me works, even just a little, then for you I would gladly let you hurt me.¡±


    She shook her head, ¡°Bullshit¡­ Hurting you would only make me hate myself even more. It wouldn¡¯t even calm me down.¡±


    ¡°Then how¡­ How can we help you?¡±


    Bella kept shaking her head. A moment passed before Aisling came up to her. She pulled her up and took her hand as she pulled her out of the room. I immediately knew what that was and I honestly hoped it worked.


    I stood up and turned to Michael. He was still looking at me with anger.


    His voice was firm, ¡°I should have smacked her.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°That would have been a first and last mistake. I will not have my friends fighting each other.¡±


    He shook his head, ¡°We find ourselves circling around the power dynamic again. One day¡­ You will need to punch back Andrew! Otherwise your entire life will be people beating you down.¡±


    I looked at him for a moment, ¡°I made hard choices at great cost to myself for a far greater good than just me. I chose to think 5 years down the road, not a day or a week. Look at me, I¡¯m healing. While I was beaten hard, I still grow stronger. Power can be flexed in different ways¡­¡±


    He took a step forward, ¡°True, but you still need to be willing to strike back! Show a little pride, would you?!¡±


    ¡°What are we, a bunch of gorillas in a zoo? Is that the only way we are destined to behave? Constantly banging our chests as we mark our spot on the dirt?¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°Andrew, you cannot escape your nature. As a machine, logic dictates and controls me. As a Human, pride, sex and power control you. These things do not need to be inherently bad, they can be controlled to yours and others advantage. The point is that you cannot choose whether or not to play this game though¡­ You have to play it till the day you die, my friend.¡±


    ¡°I would rather die than fight my friends. No matter what I am or why it¡¯s happening. If it gets that far, then I know I¡¯ve made the wrong choice!¡±


    Michael interjected, ¡°But aren¡¯t we fighting now though, if only verbally? Aren¡¯t you flexing power over us as you try to strongarm your viewpoint over ours? Isn¡¯t your tactic to eliminate our opinion until only your opinion remains?¡±


    I took a step back, ¡°What¡­ No I was¡­¡±


    I went quiet as what he had just said went over in my head. Yes¡­ That was precisely what was happening. What a horrible thought, that I was trying to overpower others like this. How did I never realise this fact?


    I looked at the floor in shame, ¡°I¡¯m so sorry¡­ I never meant to¡­¡±


    Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    AI smiled, ¡°Andrew, this is precisely our point. You did absolutely nothing wrong. This is how everyone makes decisions. We use our strength to stand by a point and the strongest one wins. In your case it is logic and reason, however strength and power also determine who is right or wrong. This is the game and I even play it.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°But look at what nearly happened! The last thing I could stand to see is Michael and Bellatrix attacking each other! It so nearly got out of control, AI¡­¡±


    Michael objected, ¡°It wouldn¡¯t have gotten that far¡­¡±


    I stared at him, ¡°It wasn¡¯t you who would have taken that far! How could you not see how on the edge she was!? I wouldn¡¯t have gotten between you two if I wasn¡¯t absolutely certain that it was going to go south, Michael!¡±


    He shook his head, ¡°No, she was just venting.¡±


    AI shook her head, ¡°Michael, Andrew¡¯s correct. Her body language was clearly indicating that she was probably going to go physical. You misread her.¡±


    I looked at him, ¡°This is why I don¡¯t want to play this game. One wrong move and you lose a friend! I¡¯m so damn grateful I managed to stop it and Aisling came in for the rescue.¡±


    AI nodded, ¡°Andrew, I respect your view. I understand your perspective and I believe it will serve you well in the future as you uniquely resolve issues. However, you will still need to play this game. When that time comes, as your friend, I want you to promise me that you will be strong.¡±


    ¡°Look at me! How could I ever be strong?¡±


    AI shook her head, ¡°Strength is not muscle. It¡¯s confidence. It¡¯s standing up for yourself and your ideals. It¡¯s sex and control.¡±


    ¡°Well clearly, as you two have made it clear, I won¡¯t have a choice, so that decides that, right?¡±


    She nodded, ¡°Remember, you can not change your nature. You can only control it.¡±


    I walked to my usual seat on the sofa and sat down. Michael sat next to me. He lightly nudged me with a smile and I rested my head on his shoulder.


    ¡°This was all so tiring. I can¡¯t believe the battle really happened. I couldn''t believe what I saw afterwards and then my friends nearly went at each other. Goddamnit I feel so tired.¡±


    ¡°Then sleep now. I¡¯m going nowhere.¡±


    ¡°Yes you are. You¡¯re going to get out of that insane gear please. Jesus Christ you and Bella look like machines with all that kit on.¡±


    He laughed as he got up and patted my head, ¡°Alright alright. I¡¯ll go change. You just relax and try to sleep alright?¡±


    ¡°Yes sir.¡± I turned over and rested my head on the sofa.


    *


    ¡°Andrew?¡±


    I opened my eyes. It was dark outside as I looked around the room. Everyone was present with an additional person, Zoe.


    I rubbed my eyes as I sat up, ¡°Hey Zoe, good to see you.¡±


    She waved as she rested her head on Aisling''s shoulder, ¡°Been an intense day I saw.¡±


    I looked around between everyone, ¡°Is everyone calm now? Can I trust everyone to just relax please? I don¡¯t know if I can handle a repeat of earlier, so I am begging you all here¡­¡±


    Bella walked up to me, ¡°I¡¯m so sorry about earlier.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°No, stop. I don¡¯t want to hear this. The only thing I need to know is that you¡¯re better.¡±


    She nodded with a smile, ¡°Yeah¡­ Aisling sorted me out.¡±


    I clapped my hand loudly, ¡°Good! So now let¡¯s please all be cool. I nearly broke down back then¡­ If this goes in that direction again, I¡¯m going to just walk out.¡±


    She nodded, ¡°Perfectly fair, I''ll play nice, I promise.¡±


    Nadia seemed confused, ¡°What did I miss?¡±


    Michael answered, ¡°Bella and I nearly fell out.¡±


    Bella looked away, ¡°That was my fault, I nearly lost control. Andrew did what he does best and stopped it flawlessly.¡±


    I laughed, ¡°Yeah, best punching bag in town.¡±


    Everyone froze as they stared at me.


    I looked around, ¡°What?¡±


    Aisling smiled, ¡°You just laughed.¡±


    I tilted my head sideways, ¡°I did?¡±


    Michael laughed, ¡°So you do actually find things funny!¡±


    I turned to him, ¡°Of course I do! I just don¡¯t laugh because it hurts me a lot to laugh and because I am¡­¡±


    Zoe finished that, ¡°Depressed. Maybe not as much as you once were, it seems.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°What a shitty way to finally laugh¡­ Laughing about being a punching bag. AI please tell me you didn¡¯t record that.¡±


    AI nodded, ¡°I recorded it. Your dark humour counts, unfortunately.¡±


    Everyone laughed as I sat there thinking about myself. The laughter died down and people seemed ready to talk again.


    ¡°Can I just say, psychological problems suck. I hate how I can¡¯t even measure where I am in terms of mentally healing. My sleep is good now, my skin is looking better, and my body is getting stronger¡­ Yet I still couldn¡¯t tell you how depressed I am.¡±


    Zoe leaned forward, ¡°Want me to read you?¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°No. After today¡­ Just no.¡±


    She nodded, ¡°I get the feeling I only know the tip of the iceberg of what happened and what you all experienced.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Zoe, if you could see what it looked like afterwards¡­¡±


    Michael clapped his hands really loudly making everyone jump, ¡°OI! Don¡¯t fall back into that now! Forget the images and think about the events!¡±


    I nodded intensely, ¡°Right right. Yeah, it was unreal. I nearly died. I remember watching the bullet trail coming towards me. God I was so scared I couldn¡¯t move.¡±


    Zoe leaned in closer again, ¡°Interesting.¡±


    ¡°What? What¡¯s interesting?¡±


    She smiled, ¡°You were afraid to die.¡±


    ¡°Well yeah, why wouldn¡¯t i- Oh.¡±


    The realisation that I was afraid to die was a contradiction to me wanting to commit suicide. Surely my suicidal side was gone. Otherwise¡­ How could I be afraid to die?


    Zoe leaned in, ¡°Are you sure you don¡¯t want me to connect with you? I know I¡¯m personally extremely curious to see if that problem is gone¡­¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°No. I would feel horrible if I saw I was still suicidal. No, another day.¡±


    She nodded, ¡°Still. I for one am so grateful we never lost you today, Andrew. The thought of losing you¡­ I think it would cause me to go into depression.¡±


    Nadia agreed, ¡°You have no idea. I freaked out after that, it was so close.¡±


    I looked at Nadia, ¡°You really did. I was so worried you would have a panic attack.¡±


    She nodded, ¡°I¡¯m surprised you didn¡¯t, Andrew. I just would have thought¡­¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Yeah¡­ I think the shock blocked the panic.¡±


    Michael nudged me, ¡°I thought in the foyer you were panicking¡­ You weren¡¯t and yes, it was definitely because the shock made your head stay focused.¡±


    ¡°Small blessings right?¡± I looked away for a moment.


    He nodded, ¡°Bella told me earlier why you didn¡¯t have a blindfold and why you felt you could handle it¡­ It doesn¡¯t work that way. Feeling pain and seeing gore are different things mate.¡±


    ¡°I saw so much gore being done to me¡­ I just thought it was similar.¡±


    Michael shook his head, ¡°You experienced suffering during your torture¡­ What you saw today was death¡­ Totally different things.¡±


    ¡°And both of them nearly fucking broke me! Oh my God!¡± I felt a wave of sorrow wash over me.


    Michael hugged me, ¡°Shh, sorry, easy there mate, it¡¯s ok. Forget this all, it¡¯s over and passed. Breath for us, please.¡±


    Bella laughed, ¡°Andrew you impress the fuck out of me. You¡¯ve seen two unfathomable horrors and yet you still sit here, sane.¡±


    Aisling agreed, ¡°If there was ever conclusive evidence of your strength of will, it¡¯s surely this.¡±


    Zoe nodded, ¡°That¡¯s precisely why I was called. Andrew, I can¡¯t help you and we both know why. Everyone else though? I will be using the next week to have one on one sessions with every one of you, except Oliver and AI. There absolutely is psychological damage here, for many different reasons. Oliver, I need you to help me with this.¡±


    Oliver leaned forward, ¡°Of course. I¡¯ll handle Michael and Aisling. You please handle Nadia and Bellatrix.¡±


    Zoe nodded, ¡°Come with me Bellatrix.¡±


    Bella laughed, ¡°Nah, Aisling sorted me out.¡±


    Zoe responded firmly, ¡°We¡¯re not having sex, we¡¯re talking. Literal therapy. Please, come with me.¡±


    Bella¡¯s smile disappeared as she realised what was in store, ¡°I don¡¯t want to talk about it.¡±


    Zoe nodded, ¡°That¡¯s exactly why you must¡­ Come.¡±


    Bella hesitated before she finally stood up and walked out with Zoe.


    Oliver looked to Aisling, ¡°Aisling, let¡¯s go.¡±


    Aisling nodded and instantly stood up, ¡°I¡¯m not arguing. I definitely need to make sense of it all. Let¡¯s go.¡±


    The two then walked out towards my room. I looked at Nadia and Michael.


    ¡°If only my problems were so easy to talk about.¡±


    Nadia smiled, ¡°We do talk about them, in a very difficult way, every night.¡±


    Michael smiled, ¡°The bigger the person, the longer their shadow carries.¡±


    I looked between the two of them, ¡°What is it like having normal therapy? Being able to talk about how you feel and magically it no longer bothers you?¡±


    Michael laughed out loud, ¡°It¡¯s not that easy, you muppet. Yes, we do manage to overcome our problems, but it¡¯s not nearly that fast.¡±


    Nadia nodded, ¡°We are probably going to be having at least three sessions in the next week each. Bella will probably need ten.¡±


    I leaned back on the sofa. Still trying to unpack it all. It felt like a nightmare that lasted a lifetime.


    ¡°What now though?¡±


    Nadia leaned forward, ¡°Aisling and I stay here. Bellatrix will be coming everyday as well, for therapy. AI is managing repairs and cleanup. Members will continue to do their jobs, they simply won¡¯t be going to HQ to get orders, it will be sent to their phones at home.¡±


    ¡°What about the Inner Roses?¡±


    ¡°We can do the conference call over the internet.¡±


    ¡°Ah right, yeah that makes sense¡­ What about Heartly? In fact¡­ I¡¯m starving! I never even thought about it, but we need to get some food.¡±


    Nadia looked at the floor for a moment, ¡°Pizza? Heartly will just have to stay at home till repairs are complete. I¡¯m sure he won¡¯t mind the time off, he fought in the battle as well, after all.¡±


    I leant forward quickly, ¡°What! Why on earth¡­ Oh, he was a soldier as well¡­ Of course.¡±


    Nadia nodded, ¡°I am so grateful we have so many ex military members. They carried us to victory today.¡±


    Michael smiled, ¡°There¡¯s the difference between the military and the Roses. The Roses say thanks and appreciate us.¡±


    I looked at Michael, ¡°Do the army really never say thanks?¡±


    ¡°Nope, never. They pay to train you, they feed you and they equip you. Why should they say thanks when you do the job they pay you for?¡±


    I nodded, ¡°It kind of makes sense. I mean, they failed to appreciate the willingness and the effort, but still¡­¡±


    Michael looked away, ¡°I suppose if they did it would be treating us like people and not tools. They want weapons, not friends.¡±


    I looked at AI after a long moment, ¡°Could you please order some food for us? Throw it on my bill.¡±


    AI shook her head, ¡°I already have and feeding the angels is our expense not yours.¡±


    ¡°Right¡­ Finding it hard to spend this money.¡±


    AI looked at me, ¡°Well¡­ I was going to speak to you about it later. Since the topic has arisen¡­ We would like to request additional funding please.¡±


    I leaned forward, ¡°Yeah. Repairs and cleanup can¡¯t be cheap. How much?¡±


    ¡°This amount also includes the unexpected expense of ammunition, armour, weapons and bulletproof shielding.¡±


    ¡°Right, give me the number.¡±


    ¡°Andrew, military equipment is not cheap. The amount is around ¡ê720,000.¡±


    I slightly recoiled, ¡°Holy shit, no kidding!... Right, approved.¡±


    AI bowed and Nadia stood and bowed as well.


    ¡°We¡¯re on the same side here, so please don¡¯t bow. That money saved my life.¡±


    Nadia sat down, ¡°In 3 days time, we will have earned enough to pay you back for all of this.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t have to pay me back!... Wait, 3 days? What happens in 3 days?¡±


    ¡°Well based on our earnings the last few weeks, we will have made enough money to cover our own expenses plus pay back the money we have borrowed from you.¡±


    ¡°No, excuse me, that was not the agreement! Nobody said anything about paying back my money!¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°You think we would just take millions from you and leave you worse off for it?¡±


    ¡°I share my money with the people I care for! I don¡¯t want it back at all! Also I have billions, the money I gave you all is peanuts!¡±


    Nadia smiled, ¡°You forget that we are an honour bound organisation. We will send you back your money with interest and we will refuse your objections. Don¡¯t argue with us, please.¡±


    I raised my voice, ¡°AI, you will not pay me back for the money I gave you towards a body! That¡¯s a gift, do you understand me?¡±


    AI put her hands in the air in surrender, ¡°Don¡¯t worry Andrew, I wasn¡¯t going to pay that back.¡±


    ¡°Don¡¯t you start that ¡®Don¡¯t worry¡¯ nonsense again, either! I¡¯ve had enough of that the last two days¡­¡±


    Michael laughed out loud, ¡°Look at this guy, putting his foot down. He¡¯s starting to form that back spine. Excellent.¡±


    The doorbell opened as I saw a Black Rose agent come in with 6 pizza boxes. I imagine the delivery guy had to be checked by security and all that nonsense. He placed the boxes down before he opened the top one and grabbed a slice. He looked at me and winked, ¡°Service charge, innit?¡±. I chuckled as he walked out eating his slice.


    Michael got up to go get the others. Aisling spread out the boxes, opening them all. I looked at them all with fascination. I had seen pizza before but I never got any of the scraps at the pizza places. The cheese looked really nice.


    The rest came in to eat as they all attacked their favourite flavours. I watched to see how they eat it¡­ It seemed you just grabbed a slice and ate it with your hands, cool. I looked over them all to decide which one I wanted.


    Michael nudged me, ¡°That¡¯s a lot of thought for pizza.¡±


    I turned to him, ¡°I dunno which one I want. Never had this before.¡±


    Everyone breathed out in frustration and disappointment. I expected that response. I was to assume pizza was very common and it was strange that I had never had it, bla bla bla. I reached and grabbed the one with lots of meat on it. My body was craving meat.


    I bit into it and loved the cheesy taste and texture. I could understand why people loved this stuff. I looked over to Bellatrix. I could see fresh tear marks through her makeup, no doubt her therapy was brutal. I looked at Aisling, she also had tear marks. I actually didn¡¯t expect that, but fair enough.


    ¡°Um¡­ Am I allowed to talk about other people''s therapy?¡±


    Zoe instantly responded, ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Ok, sorry.¡± I took another bite of pizza.


    Aisling looked at me for a moment, ¡°Andrew I found out that I cared more about you dying than I cared about myself dying.¡±


    Zoe nudged her, ¡°Hun, please. Don¡¯t talk about your therapy.¡±


    Aisling looked at Zoe confused, ¡°I feel comfortable doing it, because Andrew does it every night with us all.¡±


    Zoe shook her head, ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter, that¡¯s his arrangement with Oliver and he invited you all to partake. It¡¯s not your arrangement and your therapy is a totally different situation. Please, don¡¯t talk about your therapy.¡±


    Aisling looked sad, ¡°Ok¡­ Sorry about that.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°No, that was my mistake for even bringing it up. Forgive me, I crossed the line.¡±


    Zoe finished her slice, ¡°It¡¯s alright, Andrew. You didn¡¯t know. It¡¯s just important that you understand that as qualified professionals¡­ We have to maintain confidentiality, at all times. For many more reasons than just because it makes someone uncomfortable. We need to control a person''s therapy entirely. If someone here started talking about it, it could ruin all our efforts.¡±


    Oliver nodded, ¡°Imagine if someone responded to Aisling and it led to a totally different outcome than what is intended. We need to heal people''s minds and to do that we need isolation.¡±


    I nodded in understanding, ¡°Ok¡­ Does that mean I can¡¯t talk to Ashley about her injury though?¡±


    Oliver shook his head, ¡°No, actually your perspective would be ideal for her. No offence mate¡­ You¡¯re the king of pain, injury and recovery. Her perspective of her injury would improve if she saw it through your lens.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s exactly what I thought. Has she ever been injured before?¡±


    ¡°No, not according to her records. This is her first fall.¡±


    ¡°God¡­ That¡¯s even fucking worse.¡±


    AI interjected, ¡°Language please. We are not sailors here, I would like better oral hygiene.¡±


    I turned to Michael, ¡°I have no doubt¡­ She is going to feel she let everyone down. She was the only one injured.¡±


    Michael nodded, ¡°True, which is precisely why nobody will visit her when she wakes. She¡¯s going to be furious as her mind gets to grips with all of it.¡±


    I leaned back, ¡°What? No, I need to be there for her!¡±


    Oliver spoke firmly, ¡°No chance, Michael¡¯s right. Her doctors will see her first when she wakes. Then we will give her a few days, making it clear we are giving her space. Then we will visit her. Trust me, I''ve been there on day one, for patients¡­ You don¡¯t want to see her like that. People tend to say things they don¡¯t mean.¡±


    ¡°Ashley¡¯s a good person! She wouldn¡¯t be like that, surely?¡±


    Oliver laughed, ¡°She¡¯s a spoiled brat with a heart of gold. She will be worse than most.¡±


    Michael laughed out loud, ¡°Absolutely. I love her¡­ But it¡¯s true. You should have heard her cussing when I pulled her into the hall. She was furious. It was a relief when we tranquilised her!¡±


    I looked at the floor, ¡°Oh¡­ I just thought I needed to be there for her.¡±


    Michael nudged me, ¡°She will need you mate¡­ Just not immediately. We will make sure she is aware of how much you care, that¡¯s a promise.¡±


    ¡°Ok thank you, I just want to help her like she¡¯s helped me¡­¡±


    Oliver beamed a big smile, ¡°Understandable. I¡¯ll let her know as well.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Is her injury bad?¡±


    Oliver walked over to the counter and grabbed the tablet. He tapped it a few times and looked into it to verify he was authorised. He swiped around a bit as he processed all the information.


    He came back and grabbed a slice, ¡°Minor wound, it missed any bones, major nerves, or blood vessels¡­ So perhaps¡­ 1 to 4 months. Depends on her physio treatment. Since she is Roses, she will have access to excellent private health care. I reckon¡­ 2 months, around there.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Wow. Such a short time, that¡¯s fantastic news!¡±


    Aisling leaned forward, ¡°Andrew, are you comparing it to yourself?¡±


    ¡°Of course. It took me nearly 7 months to physically heal properly before I could try to walk again.¡±


    Oliver crossed his arms, ¡°No, stop. Don¡¯t compare it. Nowhere near a similar situation. Andrew you were on the absolute verge of death in multiple different aspects. Your state was abysmal and it was a miracle you even survived. The only thing that kept you alive was your outrageously overwhelming strength of will. Ashley¡¯s is a minor wound, don¡¯t even dream of comparing it.¡±


    Michael laughed again, ¡°To even remotely compare it is hilarious! I imagine she will bitch and moan about pain, but compared to you her pain will probably be a¡­ 3/10 at worst!¡±, he chuckled even more.


    I looked at Oliver, ¡°I wasn¡¯t that bad¡­ Was I?¡±


    Oliver leaned forward, ¡°You should have died¡­ I don¡¯t mean I wanted you to die or that you deserved to die¡­ I mean, it was so bad, it¡¯s almost impossible that you didn¡¯t.¡±


    Aisling nodded, ¡°That is why your healthcare cost as much as it did. There were 4 surgeons for you, 12 total staff. It took them hours just to prevent you from dying¡­ We are so blessed to have you here.¡±


    Oliver nodded, ¡°It took litres and litres of blood to save you¡­ We thought we lost you¡­¡±


    Oliver held a piece of pizza as he struggled to not cry. He looked away as he tried not to break down. Aisling hugged him quietly.


    I put my hand out to him ¡°No no, come on now. I¡¯m sorry this has gotten to a downer like that, Oliver, I¡¯m here mate. It¡¯s alright. Smile¡­ Things are brilliant.¡±


    He nodded as he weakly smiled, ¡°Yeah¡­ Yeah too right¡­ Um, Andrew¡­ What do you think of pizza, mate?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s amazing. Is it supposed to be greasy? I mean I like it but it really is quite¡­ I dunno the word.¡±


    Nadia laughed, ¡°Yeah, that¡¯s pizza. It¡¯s not the healthiest thing to eat and it¡¯s very rich¡­ But we wouldn¡¯t have it any other way.¡±


    I ate a few more slices as I thought to myself about today. I then remembered something.


    ¡°Bella, what did you say to me when we exited the car before the attack? I remember I couldn¡¯t hear you.¡±


    Bella smiled, ¡°I said, the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.¡±


    I looked at her confused, ¡°... What?¡±


    ¡°Andrew, I was keeping you in clear sight. The Bruiges had a drone nearby, waiting to get confirmation that you were present. I stopped you in the open so that they could clearly see you.¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­¡±


    I had just picked up a slice of pizza, but after hearing that I was so angry I just threw it back in the box.


    Michael wrapped his arm around me, ¡°Yeah¡­ They really wanted to get you and just you. Aisling and Nadia were there the entire night, but they didn¡¯t make their move until they saw you.¡±


    ¡°What did I do though? Wasn¡¯t I the one hurt? How did William somehow convince himself that I was at fault?¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°William had lost everything by his own hand. His brother and father died and he then murdered his last siblings. He lost his mind, it was not even logical anymore.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°The whole Bruiges are gone¡­ Are we expecting refugees?¡±


    AI nodded, ¡°Yes. There were approximately 25 thousand people involved in the Bruiges. Many will be without any options now.¡±


    I stood up, ¡°Let them in here!¡±


    Michael slapped my leg, ¡°Don¡¯t be ridiculous. They made their choice.¡±


    I shouted at Michael, ¡°They made the only choice they were given! We need to be better than what the bruiges were, we need to give them a better choice!¡±


    Everyone went quiet. Aisling and Nadia seemed agitated.


    Aisling leaned forward, ¡°I am furious at them right now, Andrew. They tried to kill you and I. It will take time for me to forgive them¡­ If I ever can.¡±


    Nadia nodded, ¡°Their fall is their own fault. They wore out their welcome years ago. I imagine the government was all too happy to wipe them off the face of the earth.¡±


    I argued, ¡°The people left are not the ones who made those choices! The people left are the ones who just tried to survive. I wanted to join them at one stage even! These people are not monsters like William and Ronald, they¡¯re people like me!¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°Andrew, please¡­ Sit down my friend.¡±


    I looked around at everyone for a long moment before I finally did, ¡°Don¡¯t forsake them.¡±


    AI nodded, ¡°We won¡¯t. I do not experience the anger the others do. We will accept them, as long as they agree to our way of operating. Decent people who care, will always find a place in the Roses.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right, AI. There are still many good people who are in the Bruiges. Zoe is a prime example of that!¡±


    Zoe nodded, ¡°Bruiges were just the most convenient group for me at the time, I wasn¡¯t loyal.¡±


    I stared at her for a moment, ¡°Are you loyal to us?¡±


    She looked at me for a long while, ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°What¡­¡±


    ¡°I was with the Bruiges because they gave me power. I am with the Roses because they give me purpose. I couldn¡¯t care about the values of either.¡±


    ¡°But what about the bigger picture! What about giving hope?¡±


    She shook her head in irritation, ¡°Oh you actually believe in all this tosh about hope and change? I must live in a different world from you.¡±


    I took offence, ¡°Of course, because I lived a really comfortable life growing up, myself¡­¡±


    Zoe looked away as she remembered my past.


    AI spoke, ¡°Andrew, the Roses understand and respect individuals like Zoe. We do not demand loyalty. This is not a religion. It is an organisation. People will always have their own selfish goals, that is logical. Please do not harass Zoe any further.¡±


    Zoe looked me in the eye, ¡°If you believe in it all, Andrew¡­ Then more power to you. I respect that you have hope and vision. It must be incredible to feel such a deep sense of purpose, like you do. I¡¯m almost sorry that I don¡¯t.¡±


    I stared at her for a moment, ¡°Zoe, are we going to lose you to the next highest bidder? Is my friendship with you on a timer? It breaks my heart to think that you might leave us¡­¡±


    Zoe leaned forward, ¡°Logically, only the military could offer me a better deal than I have now. I highly doubt they care for an empath. So chances are extremely slim that I will leave. However, if I did Andrew, I promise you, I would not lose contact with you. My loyalty is to myself and my friends, no matter what organisation I work for.¡±


    ¡°You must be getting paid a lot here.¡± I thought about how much I would pay for her services.


    She shook her head, ¡°Actually my pay is paltry. AI won me with opportunities.¡±


    I tiled my head sideways, ¡°Oh?¡±


    Zoe smiled wickedly, ¡°When the HQ was built, the prime minister visited to celebrate it. AI made an agreement with me, if she gave me an audience with the prime minister, I would join the Roses.¡±


    ¡°Wait¡­ So that means you did meet with the prime minister? What¡¯s she like?¡±


    Zoe looked at the floor, ¡°She¡¯s a horrible, nasty piece of work. I thought Ronald was a sick fucker, but she makes him look like a snowflake. She¡¯s not more interesting than you, Andrew... But she is a horrible power hungry creature.¡±


    I felt a cold shiver come over me, ¡°I suppose that¡¯s the only type of person who could fit the position of leadership for this massive country.¡±


    Zoe nodded, ¡°She¡¯s brilliant. Extremely intelligent, like you. Always thinking 100 moves ahead. Always prepared for anyone to try to betray her. She wields our military like a glove.¡±


    ¡°God, she sounds terrifying.¡±


    Zoe laughed, ¡°You know the funny thing? There is only one thing she fears more than anything else.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°The Roses.¡±


    Zoe shook her head, ¡°No¡­ You.¡±


    *


    ¡°Me? Please tell me that¡¯s a stupid joke!¡±


    Zoe shook her head, ¡°She wanted to understand the Roses. She used BRAVE to probe every member and every record. She knows the Roses are a threat, yet she craved to understand the reason why, the core¡­ That¡¯s you.¡±


    ¡°No¡­ No it¡¯s Aisling and Nadia. They made this organisation, they¡¯re the core!¡±


    Aisling shook her head, ¡°We started the Roses. It was you who gave it fuel. You¡¯re the reason it survived and you¡¯re the inspiration for us all to grow further. I was the spark¡­ You¡¯re the flame.¡±


    I started getting uncomfortable, ¡°No, bullshit! Honestly, you people are deluded! I''m a nobody who made one lucky choice that had an impact. I don¡¯t compare to the Rose leadership and I sure as hell don¡¯t compare to the Prime Minister!¡±


    Zoe shook her head fervently, ¡°Andrew, people are the true resource. The prime minister believes in all this bollocks about hope and dreams. That¡¯s why she treats the Roses as a threat. She has spent a great fortune to gather intel on you. At the end of every day, she has BRAVE give her a summary¡­ Of you, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°Why though? Why on earth does she care about me?¡±


    ¡°Because she realised that you are so much more! You are a dreamer and a visionary. If Nadia and Aisling died, you could literally take over their jobs and probably do it better!¡±


    I felt like I had been slapped, ¡°Don¡¯t say that! Don¡¯t you dare undervalue the angels! I think the prime minister has lost her mind! Anyone who believes that is foolish!¡±


    Aisling shook her head, ¡°Then I am foolish too, Andrew.¡±


    Nadia nodded, ¡°I guess that makes me a fool too.¡±


    AI nodded, ¡°I suppose logically, that makes me foolish.¡±


    I stared at them in shock. They actually believed that too? What was wrong with them? In what universe is someone like me a threat to anything. I was nothing!


    ¡°You believe¡­ I am worth as much as you¡­ That I could replace you?¡±


    All three of them nodded with smiles on their faces.


    ¡°No, this is ridiculous. I¡¯m uneducated, unfit, psychologically unstable and utterly dependent on others. Facts are facts, you¡¯re all wrong¡­ Wake up.¡±


    AI calmly spoke, ¡°Yet here you are, the focus of everything. The core of the Roses, the centre of our attention and of the world. The enemy of the once largest criminal syndicate. Saviour of thousands, inspiration of millions. Whether you want to believe it or not, greatness is your destiny.¡±


    Nadia agreed, ¡°Andrew, have you ever looked at the news?¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°I don¡¯t care about any of that. The Roses are all that matter.¡±


    She laughed, ¡°Then you don¡¯t see how many people hold their breaths on your accord. Media thirst for any new information about you. Our stream of the Inner Roses went from 10 thousand views per day, to 189 million. When you appear on the stream, it has over one billion views.¡±


    Aisling beamed her breathtaking smile, ¡°I have complete confidence that if you ever took over, you would do our dream justice.¡±


    I stood up in disbelief and shock. I had had enough of that nonsense.


    ¡°Nope! Not having this! I¡¯m done.¡± I started walking out the room.


    AI quickly spoke, ¡°The truth is the truth, even if you do not like it.¡±


    ¡°Fuck off AI, I¡¯ve heard enough bullshit tonight for a lifetime.¡±


    I left the room and went straight to my bedroom. My heart was racing as my mind went over what they said. What on earth had gotten into them? In what reality was a nobody like me that important?... The answer was, I was not. They were wrong, they might honestly have lost their minds.


    AI started talking to me in my hearing aids. I ripped them out of my ears and threw them across the room. She appeared on the tablet but I picked it up and tossed it facing down onto the carpet floor. I was not having that, it was unacceptable fiction.


    She knew I couldn¡¯t hear her if she was talking. Without the hearing aids, all I heard was muffled noise. I loved her, I really did, but I wouldn¡¯t be lied to so dishonestly. I was glad they all felt so impressed by me, but something had to give.


    I closed my eyes. Shit, the angels were sleeping in my room that night. I couldn¡¯t stay there, I needed to get some privacy. I walked out of my room. Michael had just left the living room, he looked at me with a worried face. I walked past him, opening the front door. The Black Roses turned to me in surprise.


    ¡°Get out of my way, I''m going for a walk.¡± I spoke in their general direction.


    They spoke to me but I couldn¡¯t hear it. I just walked past them and into the elevator. Michael was next to me. He didn¡¯t talk¡­ He was just there. Fine, but he had better not try to talk to me.


    I got out of the elevator and went out the front entrance for once. I always went to the basement, always the same routine. I didn¡¯t think I even knew what my neighbourhood looked like from that side of the building.


    There were a few people standing outside having a smoke. They turned to look at me, their faces shocked when they realised who I was. I just kept walking as I went past them. I looked around at this new part of the world, a part I had never explored. There were apartment flats all around with busy traffic. I stopped to think where I could go to walk.


    I spoke loudly to Michael without looking at him, ¡°I don¡¯t know the area. I just want to walk and explore. If you know a place worth going to, lead the way.¡±


    A moment passed before he tapped my arm. I looked at him and he gestured down the road. He started walking and I followed him. As we walked past people they all stopped and stared at me. Their faces were utterly surprised to see me. Many pulled out their phones to take photos of me.


    It felt really good to feel the wind on my face. It had been so hard to get to my current fitness level. I worked hard to be able to walk¡­ It was about time I enjoyed the rewards of being able to enjoy a nice evening walk.


    I didn¡¯t know if Michael could hear me, but I spoke to him anyway.


    ¡°I¡¯m just a scared man, Michael¡­ Please don¡¯t think of me as some titan.¡±


    He stopped and looked at me. His face was concerned. He didn¡¯t say anything, but he did nod in understanding. He turned and kept walking. I turned behind me to get a sense of my environment. There were two heavily armoured Black Rose agents behind me. Behind them was a crowd of nearly twenty people. They were following us with excitement on their faces.


    I looked forward again. I was glad they were excited to see me, at least someone was having a good evening. After a minute, I felt a tapping behind me. I stopped walking to see Aisling and Nadia there. They held out my hearing aids.


    I stared at the hearing aids as I tried to decide if I wanted to hear anything still. I looked at their faces... They were so worried. I took the hearing aids and put them on.


    Aisling spoke with deep concern, ¡°Andrew, we¡¯re so sorry! We didn¡¯t mean to stress you or put pressure on you. We love you, please¡­ Forgive us.¡±


    I shouted back at her, ¡°Maybe the prime minister should come and kill me now! I¡¯m here in the open, it would be easy. Maybe dying would be better than becoming the monster you all seem so convinced I am!¡±


    I heard the crowd behind the guards react in shock. One of them shouted out, ¡°You¡¯re not a monster! You¡¯re our hero!¡± I shouted back at that voice, ¡°Clearly not mate, ask the angels, apparently I¡¯m some tyrant set out to take over the Roses and conquer the country!¡±


    I turned and kept walking. Cars on the road were slowing down to get a look at me. Goddamnit, why was everyone making such a big deal about seeing me?


    Michael pointed, ¡°That¡¯s Blackpool Tower, Andrew. I know you¡¯re not from this part of the country, but this tower used to be the biggest tower in the British empire. Want to go there?¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Let¡¯s go see if it¡¯s open.¡±


    I walked a little more before I turned to face the small crowd following us. They were talking excitedly, but they kept clear of the guards, which was no surprise, they were armed like soldiers. I walked past the guards and up to the crowd.


    ¡°Sorry that my security is so intimidating. A lot happened today as I have no doubt the news has told you all. I trust you all mean me no harm, so let¡¯s talk.¡±


    They all smiled as they looked at each other in surprise.


    One of them spoke, ¡°I¡¯m so glad you¡¯re safe mate. When I saw on the news the images from the helicopter of the burning vehicles¡­ I was afraid you were hurt.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, I nearly got minced by a helicopter with a gun on it. It was crazy, fucking mental.¡±


    The crowd gasped when I said that.


    Another person spoke, ¡°Your walking seems better! It¡¯s a far walk to the tower, Andrew. If you get tired, we can give you a lift, ok?¡±


    I chuckled, ¡°This is my training today. You can all watch as I push myself to the stupidest levels to overcome my pathetic body''s limits.¡±


    A separate person spoke, ¡°No, don''t say that mate. You¡¯re stronger than me. I just reckon your pain must hurt you badly, innit?¡±


    ¡°Yeah it does. My training is focused on forcing my pain to manifest. It¡¯s bullshit psychology I fight, not energy.¡±


    The crowd laughed and nobody said anything else, ¡°Right then, it was a pleasure to share words. I¡¯m going to keep walking now. The guards will block you again, no doubt.¡±


    I turned and walked past Michael. He instantly caught up and walked at my side. He laughed, ¡°Good on you, Andrew. That meant a lot to them, you have no idea.¡±


    I looked at him, ¡°The fact that they care enough to talk to me, means the world to me.¡±


    We walked for a fair few minutes. The tower was slowly getting closer and my pain was slowly rising.


    ¡°How many miles is it from the apartment to the tower?¡±


    ¡°4.35 miles¡±


    ¡°I wonder if I will make it¡­¡±


    ¡°If you don¡¯t, I will carry you the rest of the way.¡±


    I heard the crowd behind us go ¡°Aww¡±. I nodded, he was so kind to me, it was hard to not feel loved.


    ¡°I will need the pain pills, Michael.¡±


    He tapped the side pocket of his trousers, ¡°Already considered it.¡±


    Aisling spoke from behind us, ¡°Andrew¡­ It feels good to walk with you.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Exactly, why the hell were we always cooped up in that apartment. We are safe now, time to stop hiding from the world.¡±


    I heard a person shout from the crowd, ¡°Aisling¡­ May I please have a photo with you?¡±


    Aisling stopped and walked back, past the guards, ¡°With pleasure.¡±


    Different people took turns taking photos next to Aising and Nadia. Good, they¡¯re incredibly good people. I knew it meant a lot to those people to get a photo with them.


    I kept walking quietly with Michael at my side. My breathing was slowly getting more difficult and he heard that.


    He smiled, ¡°We are less than one mile away now. You will only just make it at this stage¡­¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a win in my books¡­ And I get to see something new with my family and friends.¡±


    Nadia spoke, ¡°It¡¯s a fair walk to be honest, even I am slightly out of breath.¡±


    Aisling agreed, ¡°Yeah, if it were a normal person, walking this distance would be uneventful¡­ But because it¡¯s you, Andrew, it¡¯s impressive.¡±


    ¡°Bla bla bla, kissing my arse again, give it a rest would you?¡±


    The tower was now massive in size. I looked up as I walked, impressed with its sheer scale. It was covered in lights as it changed colours and patterns in a wave motion. Every now and again it would have a sponsored fizzy drink logo or some sports clothing brand.


    As we approached it, I saw a huge crowd gathered by the tower. The Black Roses had made a path through them, but there were hundreds and hundreds of people. At first I only saw the crowd but no details. Then as I got closer I saw they were facing towards us, not the tower. Wait¡­ Had they come to see me?


    AI spoke in my ear, ¡°Yes. I know what you are wondering. Social media was alerted to you walking to the tower, so everyone rushed to come see you.¡±


    ¡°Why on earth would they come to see me? They are right next to something truly impressive, yet they want to see me?¡±


    Someone in the crowd behind us shouted, ¡°We can visit Blackpool tower any day mate. We don¡¯t get to see you that easily!¡±


    I shouted back, ¡°Time for some more interesting hobbies and interests mate!¡±


    The crowd laughed and Aisling and Nadia also chuckled. My pain was getting bad at that stage as I came to a stop. I looked down at my hands¡­ They were shaking badly. I looked up at Michael and he nodded in understanding.


    ¡°Will you make it?¡±


    ¡°At this rate¡­ Yes, but with a lot of screaming.¡±


    His face was neutral, ¡°The choice is yours. Just know¡­ There¡¯s nearly a thousand people watching you there.¡±


    I turned and looked at the small crowd behind us. Their faces were all concerned. I think they saw my body language that was reflecting my pain.


    ¡°If you don¡¯t want to see me suffer, turn around and go home now, please.¡±


    They looked at me but never moved¡­ Very well. If they were happy to witness this, then so be it. I slowly started walking again. My speed was so much slower. I felt myself limping as my body tightened from the pain.


    I reached the start of the crowd as screams and cheers erupted. I focused on getting to the tower base. I didn¡¯t know how bad I would get, but I was committed. I held my hands against my chest as they were now violently shaking.


    The pain started smashing into me in waves. All I could do was focus on one step after the other. Suddenly Michaels arm appeared in front of me as he stopped me. My breathing was so weak and strained.


    ¡°You did it, we¡¯re here. Take the tablets now.¡± He handed me three tablets which I slowly swallowed.


    I looked around slowly as waves of pain made me yelp. I looked at the people in the crowd¡­ Their faces were all worried and sad. I knew¡­ It was so hard to watch. I wish they never came, I wished they never had to see this.


    A massive wave smashed into me as I fell down to my knees and I screamed in agony. Aisling tried to hug me, but I turned to her, ¡°Don¡¯t you dare try to cheat this! This is my choice!¡±


    She looked at me in horror as I shook in pain. It usually took 20 to 30 minutes for the morphine to take effect. It was a truly painful 20 minutes as I rocked back and forth screaming every now and again. The crowd was quiet as they watched in shock.


    Finally, the warmth started spreading. Starting at my stomach and moving outwards¡­ The joy of my muscles relaxing and my breath recovering. My mind began thinking more clearly.


    ¡°God damnit I hate this pain!¡± I shouted as tears dripped down my face.


    Michael patted me on the shoulder, ¡°As always, you faced it with courage.¡±


    A person in the crowd spoke up, ¡°They said you had bad pain¡­ God, they weren¡¯t joking¡­¡±


    I looked at them, ¡°Pray you never feel my pain, stranger. Pray you never suffer nervous system pain.¡±


    Another person asked, ¡°Why didn¡¯t you take the pills before?¡±


    I shouted at them, ¡°Because it¡¯s the pain I¡¯m fighting! What good is it if I keep suppressing it?¡±


    They shouted back, ¡°What good is it if you let it ruin you?¡±


    I looked at the floor, ¡°This pain is psychogenic. I¡¯m making it up, I don¡¯t actually have any injuries. Like everything else in my pathetic life, hiding from it doesn¡¯t work! I have to constantly bang my head into every problem I have, or else it will never get better!¡±


    I slowly stood up and once I was finally fully stood up, the crowd went insane. The cheering was so loud, it was like a football match. Hundreds of people jumped up and down in excitement to see me stand up.


    I looked around as the electric celebration unfolded, ¡°Just like at the HQ¡­ They all celebrate for me¡­ Why?¡±


    Michael put his arm around me, ¡°Because you¡¯re such an impressive character. It¡¯s beyond inspiring to watch you, it really is.¡±


    The crowd started chanting, ¡°Andrew! Andrew! Andrew!¡±


    Michael joined with his fist in the air, ¡°Andrew, Andrew!¡±. I looked behind me, the small crowd, Aisling, Nadia and even the Black Rose guards were all chanting as well.


    ¡°Andrew, Andrew, Andrew!¡±, there was an explosion of noise as it finally ended. I shook my head as I looked at my hands. They were almost completely still now. I managed to walk 4.3 miles. That was actually really good. I would definitely call that a successful unintentional training session.


    Suddenly a few people in the crowd cheered and the others cheered shortly afterwards as they all looked up. I looked up to see my name was written on the side of the tower. Wow¡­ That I didn¡¯t see coming. I found a few tears dripping down my face as I looked down in pride. It felt amazing to have others celebrate my success like this.


    I looked around at the crowd as they all calmed down, ¡°Thank you everyone for celebrating this with me. It¡¯s my first time being in the public¡­ I didn¡¯t know what to expect, but I certainly didn¡¯t expect this! Thank you for your support and I¡¯m sorry you had to see me suffer like that.¡±


    I walked to where the guards were standing, forming the barrier between us and the crowd. I walked right into the crowd, the crowd moved away to give me room. The Black Rose guard behind me shouted.


    ¡°Andrew, I can¡¯t protect you if you go in there!¡±


    I turned to the guard, ¡°Nobody here is my enemy. These people came to see me, so it¡¯s only fair I trust them.¡±


    He shouted back, ¡°Just because the Bruiges are gone, doesn¡¯t mean there aren¡¯t people who would want the opportunity.¡±


    ¡°Then let them kill me now! I do not fear death and I won¡¯t let the fear of death stop me from being with people who care for me!¡±


    The crowd roared in cheer. A few people hugged me as they said kind words.


    ¡°You¡¯re my inspiration, thank you Andrew.¡±


    ¡°Fuck the Bruiges, you were always too strong for them.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re so thin! No wonder you¡¯re trying to bulk!¡±


    ¡°I never thought I would meet you¡­ Thank you so much, Andrew.¡±


    I walked through the crown shaking hands with as many as wanted to. Many took photos of me or with me. I was all too happy to be in a photo with them. I did however remind them that I don¡¯t smile. They didn¡¯t seem to care about that at all.


    For over an hour I made my way around most of the large crowd. It was an incredible feeling meeting all these people. They were real ordinary people¡­ My kind of people. I finished circling around and met back with Nadia, Aisling and Michael.


    Michael laughed, ¡°Have fun?¡±


    ¡°Hell yeah! They¡¯re good people, Michael! Look at them, I couldn¡¯t be more humbled that they came for me.¡±


    He nodded, ¡°Indeed. Perhaps now you might realise though¡­ You are more than you seem.¡±


    ¡°No, stop that, stop it! Don¡¯t ruin my mood again, please¡­¡±


    He shook his head, ¡°... Fine. Want to go up the tower?¡±


    I nodded as I lightly lifted my legs, ¡°Sure, but I think I might need a piggyback. My legs are getting very tired.¡±


    He kneeled down and I wrapped my arms around his neckline. He gently held on below my legs as he stood up. Wow, I felt like I just went up a tower right then! I was looking down at the crowd!


    A few in the crowd went ¡°Aww¡±. Whatever, I didn¡¯t pretend to be more than I was. Michael started walking me through the building. There were pictures of its construction and history. We finally reached an elevator. As we quickly went up, higher and higher, we had a view of the city and the beach.


    We reached the top, sort of. There were more stairs to go up and he quickly went up them. We reached the true top, with red painted metal bars and fences around us, yet we still had a relatively good view of the city around us. Being on Michaels back though, I had a truly top view.


    We silently looked around, the city''s night lights flickering as we heard the sound of cars and waves crashing on the beach. There was a strong, cold wintery wind blowing¡­ It didn¡¯t stop us from being dazzled.


    Michael finally spoke, ¡°I¡¯m glad I can experience this with you, I won¡¯t forget this.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Neither will I. This is a night I won¡¯t ever forget either.¡±


    He looked in the distance for a while before he suddenly realised something, ¡°Andrew¡­ Have you ever been on a plane?¡±


    ¡°Nope.¡±


    He laughed, ¡°Well¡­ Now I know what our next adventure will involve.¡±


    After a few more minutes we went back down. The crowd had mostly dispersed. A few remained, waiting for me.


    One of them spoke to me, ¡°What did you think mate?¡±


    ¡°Glorious. Seeing the city from up there¡­ I felt proud of this country. Proud to be English.¡±


    ¡°Yeah mate, glad you came. Have a good evening, Andrew.¡±


    They walked away. Michael took me to a car parked nearby. It wasn¡¯t the usual car I drove in, it was just a normal low vehicle. Michael gently let me climb off his back. I opened the back door and climbed in.


    The drive back was over in almost no time at all. To think it took me nearly 2 hours to walk it, but it took 12 minutes to drive it. I always spent most of my life on my feet or sneaking on trains. I never realised how quick car travel could be. I spoke to Michael about that.


    He was sitting in the front passenger seat, ¡°Yeah, much faster. Once you finish that highway code book, we can get you to do the theory test and then we can get you in the driver''s seat, getting practice with controlling a car.¡±


    ¡°Wow. I can¡¯t imagine how it must feel to control something like this.¡±


    He laughed, ¡°At first, exhilarating¡­ Then so boring you don¡¯t even realise you¡¯re doing it.¡±


    We arrived back at the front entrance to my apartment flat. The Black Rose agents were waiting at the entrance for me. I kind of hated seeing them everywhere. It made me feel like I was above others¡­ I wasn¡¯t. I shouldn¡¯t be getting escorted.


    We took the elevator and entered the apartment. Oliver stood up for me in the living room as I entered.


    I waved him to sit, ¡°You don¡¯t need to stand for me mate, you¡¯re my friend.¡±


    He looked at me, ¡°I still respect you. Friend or not, you¡¯re the person I always stand for.¡±


    ¡°Well be seated and be happy.¡±


    He smiled and sat down, ¡°You went to Blackpool tower? That was spontaneous.¡±


    I sat down in my usual seat, ¡°What on earth does that word mean?¡±


    AI responded, ¡°To do something in a natural, often sudden way, without any planning or without being forced.¡±


    ¡°Ah. Yup, it turned out amazing though.¡±


    Oliver nodded, ¡°We saw the stream through Aislings monitor. Incredible, what an evening.¡±


    I leaned forward, ¡°I tell you, you had to be there! Those were my kind of people, Oliver! Shaking their hands¡­ I needed that.¡±


    Zoe leaned forward, ¡°Do you now see what we mean? Tonight you got to see how people really see you.¡±


    I looked away, ¡°I really hoped we wouldn¡¯t fall back into this topic.¡±


    She shook her head, ¡°Andrew¡­ You¡¯re truly so much more. As your friend, I want you to realise your own potential.¡±


    ¡°Look, Zoe¡­ I¡¯ll admit tonight did open my eyes. I have fans¡­ Never thought I would ever have those¡­ But you were talking crazy shit about the prime minister! I don¡¯t compare.¡±


    ¡°Yes you do. Look at all those people who showed up at a drop of a hat. If she ever wanted to target you, she would never get away with killing you. You¡¯re too popular, too loved.¡±


    ¡°She is the prime minister! The most powerful person on the planet. She could kill me and nothing would happen.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, she is extremely powerful. Yet the world knows you. If she killed you, you would become a martyr.¡±


    ¡°... What¡¯s a martyr?¡±


    ¡°A person killed for their beliefs, usually they tend to inspire revolutions, historically.¡±


    ¡°Oh please! Nobody would care if I died!¡±


    The room exploded in frustration. I looked around at people''s reactions when I remembered the events of today.


    I put my hands in the air, ¡°Ok ok ok! You all would, obviously! You¡¯re biassed! You¡¯re my friends and we are all connected by the events of the Roses! But others?... Nobody would care.¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°Oh really? Let me show you something.¡±


    The TV changed to a newsreel. A blonde lady stood talking in front of a styled blue background.


    ¡°Here we see the drone footage of the crowds of supporters, showing their gratitude for the rescue of the Roses saviour, Andrew Campbell today. The crowds formed after the artificial intelligence called ¡®AI¡¯ broadcasted a press statement about the attack. As we can see, many are laying flowers down at the stairs of Westminster Palace in heartfelt gratitude.¡±


    The background showed hundreds of flowers piled around the entrance to parliament as crowds were gathered on the streets. The local police were forming a wall, allowing only one person at a time to put down flowers. Many were holding signs with writing on it, ¡°Thanks for protecting our hope¡±, ¡°Andrew is a national treasure worth protecting¡± and ¡°If he falls, we all fall down¡±.


    AI appeared on the screen again, ¡°So tell me Andrew¡­ Who cares if you die?¡±


    I looked at the floor, ¡°Just a few vocal people¡­¡±


    The TV changed again to drone footage of the security gate for the Rose headquarters. There were hundreds of people gathered in the same fashion, with posters and flowers.


    AI appeared again as she said nothing. She had made her point. So there were a lot of people who cared¡­ Fine.


    ¡°Very well¡­ A lot of people would care if I died¡­¡± I stubbornly admitted.


    Zoe leaned forward, ¡°You¡¯re the ultimate underdog story. Rags to riches, zero to hero, saviour of the strong and bane of the corrupt. Who wouldn¡¯t support you?¡±


    I looked away, ¡°... The prime minister apparently.¡±


    Zoe looked annoyed, ¡°She adores you¡­ She almost worships you. She¡¯s spent hours asking me about you after I first met you. No sex, no therapy¡­ Just a million questions about you.¡±


    ¡°But why though?! She has all the power in the world, all the respect one could ever ask for¡­ Why care about me?¡±


    ¡°Because nobody can stand against our military. Nobody will take her place politically¡­ She has no challenges left, no goals to strive for. Nothing to sharpen her teeth on¡­ Until she discovered you.¡±


    ¡°I am no match for her!¡±


    ¡°Yes you are! She knows you are a strong person. She fears you¡­ Because you might actually be even stronger than her, where it truly matters.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°Why are you even telling me this? Shouldn¡¯t your time with her be private? She¡¯s the leader of the country, surely you shouldn¡¯t be mouthing off all of this!¡±


    Zoe laughed out loud, ¡°She wanted me to tell you this! She categorically told me to share her sessions with you and tell her how you responded.¡±


    ¡°Right¡­ Ok, I¡¯m done again now. This is just too hard for me to believe again, my mind can¡¯t fathom it. Let¡¯s change the topic please.¡±


    Zoe looked disappointed, ¡°Come on mate¡­ Give her a message.¡±


    I looked up, ¡°I treat her no different than anyone else. I get to know people face to face.¡±


    Zoe looked at me for a long moment, ¡°Fair enough, if that¡¯s all you want to say, then I will tell her.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°I don¡¯t even think I want to meet her. She sounds like a terrible monster who plays with people like puppets.¡±


    Everyone in the room laughed hysterically. Michael genuinely cried in laughter. I looked around in complete confusion.


    ¡°What the¡­ Now what?¡±


    AI looked at me with a smile, ¡°It takes one to know one, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°Hmm?¡± I just looked at her.


    Zoe leaned forward, ¡°Imagine being a monster who controls people around them¡­ Who does that make you think of?¡±


    I recoiled back, ¡°Oh. What no! I don¡¯t do that!¡±


    ¡°Yes you do.¡± She never even flinched.


    ¡°No. Everyone here is my friend, I don¡¯t control or manipulate anyone.¡±


    ¡°Not for selfish reasons or ill intent, but you definitely control the situation to get your preferred outcome.¡±


    I shook my head, ¡°Give me an example.¡±


    Zoe thought for a moment, ¡°What about how you managed to resolve Aisling¡¯s sexuality problem.¡±


    ¡°I did that to help her!¡±


    ¡°You controlled her, you manipulated her to reveal information so that you could control the situation to your intended outcome.¡±


    I looked at Aisling, ¡°Did¡­ Did I wrong you Aisling?¡±


    Aisling looked at me for a moment, ¡°You drove the car then, it just so happens that I wanted to get where you took me.¡±


    ¡°I did it because I care for you! I did it because I saw within you the chance to be happier with yourself and those around you!¡±


    Zoe chuckled, ¡°You you you you. You saw it, you wanted it and you made it happen. Who is being affected here, Andrew? You¡­ Or Aisling?¡±


    I looked at the floor in silence as nobody said anything. Perhaps¡­ Perhaps they were right. Perhaps I did control people. I did it with good intentions but it was still controlling at the end of the day.


    ¡°I never even realised¡­ I really am a monster, aren¡¯t I?¡±


    Michael hugged me, ¡°A monster at your core? Yeah. You control yourself masterfully though. Remember what Zoe said to you, Andrew. Fearing yourself is the leash that stops you from actually behaving like a monster. You can¡¯t change your nature but you can control it.¡±


    Zoe nodded, ¡°If you cross the line, if power corrupts you¡­ Listen to your friends when they tell you.¡±


    I looked around at everyone, ¡°Promise me you¡¯ll tell me if I go too far. Promise me you¡¯ll stop me if I cross the line and hurt you¡­¡±


    Everyone nodded. I knew they took that request seriously, their eyes showed serious commitment. I looked at the clock above AI, 9:44 PM.


    ¡°Me leaving earlier has interrupted therapy. Perhaps Nadia and Michael should have their chat now.


    Zoe laughed, ¡°Well controlled Andrew! I couldn¡¯t agree more. Nadia, would you like to come with me please?¡±


    Nadia nodded as she stood up, ¡°Ok¡­ I will probably cry though.¡±


    The two left the living room.


    Oliver leaned forward, ¡°Michael, it¡¯s up to you. You¡¯re a soldier, today was nothing you haven¡¯t experienced. I leave it to you, whether you feel you need therapy or not.¡±


    Michael was deep in thought as he looked at me, ¡°I do need it, not because I fought, but rather the reason why I was fighting.¡±


    Oliver nodded, ¡°Right, let¡¯s go then.¡±


    Michael stood up and walked out with Oliver.


    I looked at Bellatrix, ¡°You¡¯re quiet. What¡¯s going on in your head?¡±


    Bella was deep in thought, ¡°I¡¯m thinking¡­ Now that the Bruiges threat is gone, I will probably be bored.¡±


    ¡°Oh, were you spending a lot of time investigating them?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, all my time. I was the one responsible for monitoring them.¡±


    ¡°... How long were you doing that?¡±


    She thought for a moment, ¡°About 7 months now.¡±


    I made a whistling sound, ¡°That¡¯s a long time¡­ Now they don¡¯t even exist anymore. What will you do?¡±


    She closed her eyes, ¡°My life is dedicated to protecting the angels. I suppose I will just continue to do just that.¡±


    ¡°Surely there is something else you want?¡±


    She stared at me for a long while, ¡°No.¡±


    ¡°Really? Just a bodyguard?¡±


    ¡°What could be more meaningful than protecting the three most important people on this planet?¡±


    I nodded, ¡°It definitely is honourable. I just think that someone with your fitness, intelligence and combat skills could go far in this world. Like Zoe, you could fly higher and higher.¡±


    She shook her head, ¡°Like you Andrew, I prefer to use my skills and time on the things that matter in the bigger picture. Money is pointless¡­ No, The Roses are the future. It¡¯s a change in our society and maybe even our species. In 100 years, nobody will remember the powerful people of today¡­ But everyone will remember the Roses.¡±


    Aisling turned to face Bella, ¡°If The Roses really do become that successful¡­ Then your name will still be remembered¡­ The guardian of the angels. Has a nice ring to it.¡±


    Bella broke into a huge smile as she looked away, ¡°Oh Aisling¡­ You¡¯re doing that thing again where you overwhelm me with hope and inspiration¡­¡±


    Aising laughed, ¡°Then stop being so incredible! It¡¯s impossible not to show you off with pride!¡±


    I stood up and walked up to Bella. She looked at me, still smiling from Aislings affect. I hugged her.


    ¡°Thank you for saving my life Bellatrix. You did incredibly¡­ I owe this moment all to you.¡±


    ¡°... You¡¯re welcome. It was about time I paid you back for saving my angels.¡±


    I stopped hugging her and nodded, ¡°You did amazingly.¡±


    ¡°Actually, if you want to thank people for the fighting, it was Ashley and Michael you should thank. Those two dropped more people together than everyone else combined.¡±


    I took a step back, ¡°That many?!¡±


    She nodded with a wicked grin, ¡°Oh yes, very lethal¡­¡±


    AI spoke, ¡°I can confirm, I looked through everyone''s monitor feeds to confirm kills. Ashley had 13 and Michael 15 confirmed kills.¡±


    ¡°Wait, those numbers¡­ That still leaves a lot of kills to others, doesn¡¯t it?¡±


    AI looked away, ¡°Many were mine.¡±


    ¡°You?!... The turrets¡­¡±


    She nodded, ¡°Yes, I had the advantage of 30 guns and 30 sets of eyes.¡±


    ¡°Wait a minute¡­ AI, you¡¯ve killed Human Beings¡­¡±


    AI looked down sadly, ¡°An accomplishment I feel no pride over, trust me Andrew.¡±


    I thought for a long moment, ¡°... Will I have to kill someone one day, too?¡±


    Bella nodded, ¡°It¡¯s¡­ Likely. Then again I can¡¯t see the future. You tend to be extremely diplomatic, Aaron.¡±


    ¡°I will do everything I can to avoid it, that I can promise you.¡±


    Bella looked at me for a long moment in awe, ¡°By God, I can¡¯t wait to see you fly! Get fit soon, Andrew. I¡¯m so eager to watch you shine.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m going as quickly as I can and I reckon my progress hasn¡¯t been too bad so far.¡±


    AI was bouncing in excitement, ¡°Unbelievably impressive progress in just a matter of days, Andrew! You¡¯re an inspiration to millions, don¡¯t forget that. There are entire forums dedicated to your training progress.¡±


    I chuckled, ¡°Of course there is¡­¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°Did you know that you walked for 1 hour and 57 minutes, Andrew?¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Yeah¡­ Not bad.¡±


    AI looked frustrated, ¡°Not bad? Andrew, in your last training session in walking, you walked 28 minutes and 13 seconds. That means you walked 417% longer than your last attempt. That¡¯s more than just ¡®Not bad¡¯, that is remarkable progress.¡±


    Bella looked shocked, ¡°Holy hell! You¡¯re killing it mate!¡±


    I leaned back on the sofa with my eyes closed. I felt proud. I was definitely getting fitter. Nobody said anything for a while as I just relaxed my legs. Eventually Michael and Nadia came back. Nadia had definitely cried, she had tissues in her hand still. Michael just seemed relaxed.


    Aisling looked at me relaxing with a worried face, ¡°Andrew¡­ I can sleep on the sofa, ok? You need to rest properly after your exercise.¡±


    ¡°What¡­ No, don''t worry, this sofa is absolute luxury. I¡¯ll sleep like a baby!¡±


    Aisling looked confused, ¡°It¡¯s not that comfortable¡­¡±


    Bella laughed out loud, ¡°Oh Aisling my dear, you have forgotten something about Andrew¡­ Think my love¡­ Think.¡±


    She looked at me for a while, ¡°I have no idea what I have forgotten.¡±


    I leaned forward, ¡°Aisling, I spent most of my childhood sleeping in boxes and alleyways.¡±


    Aisling immediately put her face in her hands. Everyone chuckled, it was cute how she had forgotten my past for a moment. She was most likely just tired from an insanely hectic day.


    Aisling finally looked up at me, ¡°Always so strong, always so resilient and always so humble.¡±


    ¡°Stop with the compliments, Aisling. I¡¯m just grateful to be here with you all. My past is over and done with¡­ Although, I will say, sleeping on the carpet would still be far better than many nights of sleep I have had before.¡±


    Nadia looked concerned, ¡°Sometimes you must have slept in a bed right? Surely at the orphanages?¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Yeah, but it¡¯s hard to sleep well when your ribs are bruised because an adult just kicked the fuck out of you.¡±


    AI reacted, ¡°Andrew, language and please¡­ Don¡¯t go saying such heartbreaking things.¡±


    ¡°Ok, sorry.¡±


    Bella looked at me with the saddest eyes, ¡°I really wish I could tell you all that he was making that up. I wish I could tell you that his life wasn¡¯t that bad and that people weren¡¯t that cruel¡­ But I can¡¯t. I witnessed most of his abuse with my own eyes.¡±


    Aisling looked at Bella, ¡°Seriously? What do you mean you witnessed it?¡±


    Bella stared at Aisling, ¡°I saw his bruised face with blood dripping down it, after a group of people beat him nearly to death in an alleyway. It was how I first met him.¡±


    Aisling looked horrified, ¡°What¡­ Why¡­ I don¡¯t¡­¡±


    I spoke firmly, ¡°That¡¯s done and over. My life is better, I¡¯m not alone and I¡¯m getting stronger. I don¡¯t want people feeling miserable over the long done past.¡±


    Bella looked at me with wonder, ¡°How did you not kill yourself, Andrew? I don¡¯t really get how you stubbornly desired to stay alive when things were beyond shit.¡±


    ¡°It was all I knew. Life sucked but death seemed worse. That¡¯s the truth. I just always hoped things would get better.¡±


    Aisling smiled weakly, ¡°Hope... Hope follows you like a shadow, Andrew.¡±


    I looked at Aisling intently, ¡°It¡¯s a good thing I found hope on a train nearly a year ago. It¡¯s a blessing to be looking at her right now.¡±


    She looked back into my eyes, ¡°This hope nearly got you killed twice though¡­¡±


    I nodded, ¡°It nearly killed me twice, true¡­ But it also saved me and gave me a reason to live¡­ A fair deal in my mind.¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°Andrew, everything you were is what makes you so great now. There may never be another person who suffers like you did.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Good.¡±


    *


    Zoe stood up, ¡°Right, it¡¯s nearly midnight and I¡¯m struggling to stay awake now. I don¡¯t even know if I will be able to safely drive home this tired¡­¡±


    Bella stood as well, ¡°I will drive you home and make my way home from there, if you want?¡±


    Zoe smiled, ¡°What a dependable person you are, Bellatrix. Thank you very much.¡±


    She bowed and left the apartment with Bella. I looked at Michael and he smiled and patted my head.


    ¡°Time for me to go too. I¡¯ll be busy with a few things in the morning, but I will see you around lunch, ok?¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Be safe, I¡¯ll see you tomorrow.¡±


    He stood up and quickly went out. I noticed his footsteps again¡­ So loud. He¡¯s just an absolute tank. I looked at the three left over.


    ¡°I reckon sleep will do us all wonders.¡±


    Nadia stood up, ¡°I¡¯ll sleep in Oliver''s room.¡±


    Oliver laughed, ¡°With or without me?¡±


    She yawned, ¡°With you... I hope you don¡¯t snore.¡±


    The two left after bidding us goodnight. I looked at Aisling.


    ¡°My room is yours.¡±


    She smiled, ¡°Thank you again. Do you have a blanket for yourself and maybe a spare pillow?¡±


    ¡°Nah, don¡¯t need it. All I need is AI at my side to talk to before I sleep. It¡¯s my only tradition.¡±


    AI nodded with a smile, ¡°You wouldn¡¯t believe how much he has to talk about at 2 in the morning, Aisling.¡±


    Aisling laughed, ¡°Fair enough. Goodnight, Andrew.¡±


    ¡°Goodnight, Aisling.¡±


    She got up and headed to my room. It was just me sitting on the sofa looking at AI. She was playing with her short hair.


    ¡°Will it really be possible to get you a body as good as the one I see on the screen now?¡±


    AI nodded, ¡°Absolutely, they have already gotten the face, skin and hair done to perfection. They are struggling with software for movement and getting good endurance. So far it can only operate for 20 minutes¡­ I need more than that.¡±


    ¡°20 minutes¡­ So short and yet right now I would love to spend 20 minutes with you in person.¡±


    AI smiled, ¡°Be patient my friend. If 20 minutes seems good, wait until I can be around for 6 hours¡­ What would you do if I were here right now?¡±


    I thought for a moment, ¡°I would sit next to you and talk like we always do, except it would be so much better because you would be here.¡±


    AI nodded, ¡°I thought you would make me do a handstand. Would something so simple really be enough?¡±


    I nodded, ¡°Absolutely. I don¡¯t want you to dance for me AI, I just want you to be here, as my friend. The rest we can work out together.¡±


    She smiled, ¡°I look forward to us sharing such a moment.¡±


    ¡°So do I. Anyway, I¡¯m actually knackered, so I¡¯m off to bed right away. Try not to be too busy while I¡¯m unconscious, ok?¡±


    She smiled a glorious smile, ¡°When you sleep, everything is slow and boring. Hurry up and sleep, I look forward to watching your next adventure.¡±


    I turned off the living room light and lay down on the sofa. 22C and a soft sofa? Why would anyone need a blanket or pillow? That was plenty comfy. I fell asleep almost immediately.


    *


    I didn¡¯t think I dreamed anything, yet I woke to the sound of a scream. I sat up feeling disappointed in myself.


    ¡°Goddamn it, am I seriously screaming in my sleep again? I didn¡¯t even have the nightmare, this makes no s-¡±


    AI cut me off, ¡°It wasn¡¯t you screaming Andrew. Can you please go see if Nadia is alright?¡±


    I instantly jumped up and went to Oliver''s room. I knocked on the door and Oliver¡¯s voice shouted ¡°Come in¡±. I entered the room to see Nadia curled into a ball, sobbing.


    ¡°What happened? What¡¯s wrong?¡±


    Oliver shook his head sadly, ¡°Trauma. She woke up screaming your name. I think she was having a flashback to when you nearly¡­ You know.¡±


    I walked over to her side of the bed and crouched next to her, ¡°Hey, Nadia¡­ It¡¯s alright, I¡¯m here ok? Look, I¡¯m happy and healthy.¡±


    She looked up at me with soaked eyes, ¡°I nearly lost you! You nearly died! I couldn¡¯t do anything to help you when that helicopter shot at you¡­ I just stood there and watched as you nearly died!¡±


    ¡°I know it was a terrifying thing to see, trust me I was terrified myself¡­ It doesn¡¯t matter, shh¡­ I didn¡¯t die and everything is fine. Here, hold my hand.¡± I put my hand near her and she instantly grabbed it with both her hands.


    She cried, ¡°We tried so hard! We trained for days, planned for entire nights! I couldn¡¯t sleep because I worried so much about losing you¡­ And yet I nearly ended up losing you anyway!¡±


    ¡°Hey hey¡­ Come on now, you all nailed it. Nobody died. It¡¯s alright. Your preparation paid off and here I am. Nadia¡­ Smile for me, would you?¡±


    Nadia looked at me for a long moment as she stopped crying and finally managed to form a weak smile.


    After a moment she whispered, ¡°Promise me you won¡¯t kill yourself¡­ Please.¡±


    I sighed, ¡°Oh¡­ Well I can promise you that right now, it¡¯s not even a thought in the back of my mind. I promise you, I won¡¯t Nadia. Now please, go to sleep.¡±


    She whispered more, ¡°You¡¯re my friend, you¡¯re my saviour and you¡¯re my hero. Promise me you won¡¯t leave me unfairly.¡±


    I rubbed her hands, ¡°I promise you, I¡¯m not going anywhere.¡±


    She smiled and let go of my hand as she closed her eyes. I stayed there looking at her as she wiped her face of the tears. I felt a horrible guilt inside of myself. I felt responsible for this. I did this to her¡­ My damn unstable mental mind had terrified her.


    I stood up and started walking out when Oliver spoke.


    ¡°You¡¯re making that promise to me as well¡­ You hear me?¡±


    I stopped and nodded, ¡°I¡¯m making that promise to everyone¡­ But especially to myself.¡±


    He didn¡¯t say anything else, so I left the room, quietly closing the door. I went to the living room and sat down in the darkness. I looked down at the floor when the TV went on. AI had a sad look on her face.


    ¡°Andrew, you have healed and grown so much, both physically and mentally. Don¡¯t let her worries scare you into thinking that you have not gotten far. Compared to the morning I tried to convince you to visit me at HQ¡­ You are so much better now. So much happier and healthier. I am proud of you. I know you will keep that promise. You never break your promises.¡±


    I nodded, ¡°You¡¯re right, I have gotten better¡­ This was just a reminder that I must not stop trying. For everyone who cares about me and for myself¡­ I must stay strong.¡±


    AI bowed and the TV went off. I sat there for maybe half an hour, deep in thought. This was an important reality check¡­ I wouldn¡¯t forget this lesson.


    I finally lay down on the sofa and went back to sleep.


    END OF BOOK