《So You Want to Be a Farmer》


 Chapter 1

    ¡°When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization.¡± D.W. (Time and place unknown)


    Now a days we have Piotr and his mother wanting to be adventurers, with Gods roaming around and screwing everything up what is a small time farmer to do when they come knocking at your door with axes and shit? Tell me? I have manure up to my knees and my trees are barely hanging on for dear life and this three meter tall asshole with a grudge is trying to buy food from me. ¡°Look man! I would gladly give you some olives, but like I said before¡­ THEY ARE NOT YET READY TO BE HARVESTED!!¡±


    The giant looked at me like he couldn¡¯t understand what I was saying, I swear the taller they are the dumber they look.


    ¡°No, YOU look! Small man! Give me some olives!¡± For the record this is the fourth time we¡¯ve had this conversation, and for the other record, I am not small, this guy is just huge.


    I¡¯m not sure if he has difficulty speaking but all his sentences end with him screaming. I¡¯m too tired and too full of shit, not figuratively, but literally, to be talking to this disgrace of human intellect. Shit, I¡¯m not even sure it¡¯s a human, for all I know it could be one of the Gods screwing around acting stupid for his own amusement or one of those Tauren things the lady with the big tits at the bar was talking about last night.


    ¡°You know what, just take a fucking tree, lots of olives on those.¡±


    The big man, God, Tauren, thing stepped around me grabbed one of my olive trees by the trunk and uprooted it from the ground. What a dumbass. I stood there looking at the man walk towards his group of adventurers dragging my beautiful tree on the ground and just shook my head. Why in the name of Saturn did the magicians bring the Gods back down? Everything was so nice without them.


    I made my way back to what I used to call a home, now it¡¯s more like the reception area for greedy, stupid, sometimes good looking adventurers who are making their way to Minas Nosu in the search for the resting place of a long dead God called Jesus.


    I know right¡­ what a shitty name for a God, at least the guy that¡¯s always fucking up my fields has a cool name, I heard the woman with the big tits at the bar call him Loki.


    I still think he is an asshole.


    I used to be the most prosperous farmer in Fincas Nosu until some smart ass magician and his friends decided to get drunk one night and bring upon the apocalypse again. I tell you too much money addles the brain, and magicians are the worst of them. My dad was a magician, you should have seen his face when I told him I was becoming a farmer. I still fall asleep with a smile thinking about it. My sister ended up getting all his wealth, as you¡¯ve probably guessed, she¡¯s a magician. It wouldn¡¯t surprise me if the bitch was one of the assholes that opened the gateway for the Gods, she was always stupid like that.


    As Ilooked from a top what used to be my lovely home to see the state of my olive trees, what used to be 100 acres of beautiful planted olives was now, 100 acres of patches with some olive trees and some olives strewn over the untilled ground. I still had a lot of trees but the disturbances on the soil made by the travelers and Loki had put a lot of stress on the tree''s roots and some of them were dying.This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.


    Every morning I tried my best to water them and give them the proper care needed to have ten year old trees still be fruitful, but current affairs made it impossible for me to give them the love they needed to grow. The pigs were not happy either. From on top of my house I yelled down at the line of annoying adventurers ¡°The shop is closed! Go home or somewhere else! Good luck finding Jesus!¡±


    ¡°But Farmer, we need the olives to recreate the mountain that will bring back Jesus! How can you leave the quest unfinished?¡± a belligerent child yelled from under her mother¡¯s robe wanting access to my fields.


    I don''t really like kids, specially kids with initiative. I turned around to look at the gathered people and answered the smallkid.


    ¡°Look, I don¡¯t care about finding Jesus, or his mountain, or your needs. This is my field and unless you want problems you better leave!¡± The on looking crowd looked at each other smelling the blood of a weaker opponent and made their way towards my house. I tell you adventurers are stupid.


    At that moment I yelled for the animal that had been living with me for the last month or so ¡°Shadow!!!¡± from behind my house my over grown wolf came out to greet the travelers.


    They say animals always have the same personality of their owners, and believe me my wolf was an asshole. Greetings were fairly quick with Shadow around and the adventurers found something else to occupy their minds with very soon.


    ¡°Good boy!¡± I told my wolf as I reached up and patted his head.


    You probably didn¡¯t know but wolfs are good for helping trees grows and water flow, I¡¯m not sure it applies to giant wolfs but I¡¯ve had him for a very short time. We¡¯ll see what happens.


    Shadow leaned against me and pushed me to the ground. ¡°Get off me you humongous oaf, the only thing saving you from getting your ass kicked is that Loki left you. Next time I see him I will file a complaint and give you back!¡±


    The giant wolf got scared and stood up quickly, I guess he liked Loki less than I did.


    I walked Shadow to the back of the house and as expected I saw the corpse of the giant fellow that had been bothering me for olivesmoments before. I told him I couldn¡¯t give him any olives, but he wouldn¡¯t listen. The old olive tree he had uprooted was there next to him. I felt really sad for my tree, it had taken me ten years of nurturing and using the best fertilizers containing the necessary nutrients to give it a full crown of leaves, very tasty olives and a good life and just because this dumb adventurer at my feet felt the need to take the olives he was now Shadows plaything.


    I guess his companions left him when the giant wolf found them, I¡¯d have run too. I gave the wolf another pat on the head and let him play with his new pile of bones.


    The adventurers had pillaged my fields before Loki arrived, this last ones were arriving from the south, all the way from Minami. I guess word hadn¡¯t reached them that Loki had laid claim to my field and had left a giant wolf to guard it. At first I was scared shitless but Shadow had been nothing but a gentleman to the trees, Loki on the other hand was an asshole.


    I wasn¡¯t sure if I liked Loki, but I did like the wolf.


    Tonight I would go back down to the bar and hopefully the woman with big tits would have more news about what was happening in the world, if she didn¡¯t have any news it didn¡¯t really matter, I¡¯d be talking with the woman with big tits. I should ask her name.


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    Thanks for reading if you find any grammar mistakes let me know!

 Chapter 2

    The life of a farmer is hard and rarely rewarding, as a matter of fact I can¡¯t remember when I decided to become one.


    Before all shit broke loose in the world people only thought about being royalty, little kids played at being knights and almost all of them wanted to be magicians. The current fashion was to be an adventurer.


    As I made my way to the bar I thought about how we¡¯d gotten to this situation.


    <u>One month ago</u>


    I was hanging out with my pigs when I saw the rift open in the sky and stuff began to descend, my eyesight isn¡¯t what it used to be, so ¡°stuff¡± was the best way to catalogue it at the time. I wasn¡¯t scared, I really don¡¯t know why but I felt that whatever was coming down was either going to kill me or it wasn¡¯t. Either way when you are a farmer the only thing that worries you falling from the sky is rain.


    I decided to make my way to the bar at the center of the little village I lived in. I made my home in a backwater town all the way in the North of the continent where you rarely saw people with the ability to string more than two sentences together, or without the necessity to do so.


    As I opened the door to the Inn I was greeted by a sight I was not expecting, people were talking.


    Like I said before, talking was rarely necessary in this town. If you wanted something you pointed at it, if you agreed you grunted, if you disagreed you grunted and if you wanted to fuck you humped in the air and pointed (or maybe that was just me).


    Anyways as I entered the shoddy looking building made of weathered wood I felt the heat of the fireplace remove the bitter cold from my bones. I could hear old man Turtle speaking with vigor ¡°I heard from me wife that the Gods be coming down from the heavens!¡± he used his hands to point towards the ceiling and everybody looked up as if they would be able to see something other than roof.


    Another person whose name I didn¡¯t remember wondered ¡°But Turtle isn¡¯t your wife dead!¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s exactly what I be trying to say! She came down from the rift yonder and spoke to me!¡±


    I decided to interrupt ¡°Turtle, let¡¯s say for the sake of your story that I believe you saw your dead wife come from a rift in the sky. Your dead wife is NO God, how come she came down!?¡±


    He gave me an unsure smile ¡°Apparently she be whoring herself up to a God named Loki, she also told me to be careful, he be a mischievous God who likes to play people funny.¡±


    I had never heard of the Gods Turtle was talking about so I decided to leave the group on the rickety wooden table and make my way to the bar.


    I turned to see a familiar face.


    Hog moved in to Fincas Nosu at the same time I did, I started planting my trees and buying my pigs and he started building his crappy bar. It was good for him that it was the only bar in town or else It¡¯d be empty all the time.


    ¡°What can I do you for Kami?¡± the gruff voice of the fat man said my way.


    ¡°Give me something strong Hog, I feel the need to pass out by the time shit stops falling from the sky.¡±


    The big bald man turned around and grabbed a glass bottle with yellow liquid ¡°Piss fire it is.¡± He took a small glass poured the liquid in and hand it over to me.This narrative has been purloined without the author''s approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    ¡°So Kami, what do you make of all this talk of Gods and what not?¡±


    I looked straight into my shot of piss fire remembering the words of old man Turtle ¡°I don¡¯t know Hog, I really don¡¯t care¡±


    I drank my shot and put my glass forward for a refill. The fat man poured some more.


    ¡°Kami, be reasonable now fool, there are things falling from the heavens what do you make of this!?¡± I looked up at the man from my sit at the bar and frowned. Just because I came from the city more than ten years ago they thought I had the answer to everything.


    ¡°We have to wait and see Hog, we can¡¯t make assumptions from little information, right now the only information we have is, that Turtle¡¯s dead wife is fucking a God named Loki and that there is a hole in the sky, how in the Seven Hells of Titan am I going to know what the fuck is going on?¡±


    Hog felt mollified by my response, again we didn¡¯t speak that much before today.


    I wanted to keep drinking but all this talking had soured my mood. I rose from my seat without paying and left. Hog and I had a deal, I gave him pigs and olives for free, and he gave me room and drink for free. I felt like I was on the losing side of this agreement but up here in the North having a warm place to get shit faced was better than losing a couple of silvers. I nodded towards the rickety table with the group I had talked before and left before I caught their stupidity. Gods and dead wife¡¯s¡­.who would believe that?


    <u>Present day</u>


    I arrived at the door of Hogs crappy bar and old man Turtle greeted me with the ghost of his wife next to him, although she didn¡¯t look like a ghost.


    ¡°Top of the morning to you Kami!¡± his crooked nose and dirty teeth smiled my way.


    I looked his way and sighed ¡°Hello Turtle, but it¡¯s not morning friend it¡¯s already midnight.¡±


    I put my coat on the hanger near the door and nodded towards his dead wife, who wasn¡¯t really that dead.


    She had the audacity to call my way ¡°Sweet Kami, how¡¯s me lover treating you?¡± she was referring to Loki, I couldn¡¯t understand how someone in their right mind would touch that woman, she looked exactly like her not dead husband, but dead and with tits.


    I shook my head in disgust and answered back ¡°Tell him to come see me, I have a complaint, her creepy lover is making my eyes sore.¡±


    Turtle just smiled without answering back, I guess having his wife back had made him oblivious to insults, Tula shot me a nasty gesture with her hands and I shrugged my way to the bar.


    ¡°Hello handsome, what can I do for you today?¡±


    Now I know you might be thinking I am very pessimistic about all this, but if this situation with the Gods had any benefits they were standing right in front of me, two very big benefits to be exact.


    ¡°Hello fair lady, May I have something to quench my thirst?¡± I asked the woman behind the bar, Hog for some reason had gotten this beautiful woman to start attending instead of him, and business was booming. Our arrangement still held, but I was sure as all hell that I was in the winning side of the agreement now!


    ¡°Of course love¡± the woman with big tits whose name I didn¡¯t yet know turned around and provocatively leaned down to grab a glass.


    I saw that it was totally unnecessary because there were glasses right next to her, I guess she was just provoking me and succeeding. I thanked her for the drink and downed it asking for another.


    ¡°Is something wrong handsome?¡±


    I looked her straight in the eyes, something particularly hard, and answered truthfully ¡°Yes, everything is wrong! I am tired of getting adventurers in my farm trying to get olives to find Jesus, I don¡¯t know Jesus! I am tired of having Loki screw around with my trees and pigs a few months ago I had no idea what a Loki was! I am tired of having to fight stupid giants and I am particularly tired of not knowing your name.¡±


    The woman with big tits stretched her hand to grab my face and caressing my cheeks answered ¡°Oh sweet Kami, it will only get worse, and if you want to know my name meet me tomorrow morning here at the bar. Hog will be sleeping and you and I can get to know each other better.¡± She winked at me as she left me alone on my chair and went to attend other customers.


    My plan was to get hammered and sleep on the floor tonight, but the woman with bit tits had suggested an excellent morning if I was there early tomorrow, I wasn¡¯t going to pass that up. I drank my glass stood up, nodded towards the dead and undead couple, opened the door and felt the cold seep into my bones again.


    As I made my way towards my farm I thought about how my trees would be doing with the cold, I would have to heat them up somehow or they would die. I arrived at what used to be my home butnow was a reception area, and fell asleep on my bed.


    As I fell asleep I noticed I had learned something new today, the woman with big tits also hadgreen eyes.

 Chapter 3

    I woke up earlier than needed to visit the woman with big tits and green eyes, not because I wanted to, but because I had to.


    My trees were probably feeling the cold just as I was and I needed to cover them with thin sheets of paper so the frost of winter didn¡¯t gather on their branches and ruined my tasty olives.


    I saw Shadow digging holes around the 100 acres of land and yelled at the wolf to help me. Trying to put sheets of paper on top of trees is not easy especially when said trees are ten feet tall.


    The wolf came obediently and I stood on its back as we made our way through all the olive fields. Making the rounds I could see that some of my favorite trees had died because of the adventurers but since the arrival of the god named Loki the death had diminished considerably.


    Mind you not because of the god but because of the wolf.


    About to finish the chores that every famer has and as the sun rose from behind the snow peaked mountains that gave character to this region of the world a faint sound alerted me of an unwanted visitor.


    ¡°Ku Kuuuuuuu!¡± I heard from on top of Shadow.


    The wolf became frantic with the sound and started galloping towards the house.


    ¡°Ku Kuuuuuuuuu!¡± came the sound again but ten times louder.


    Now the wolf was going all out and I was holding for dear life. ¡°Shadow, stop it you stupid animal!¡± I shouted without success, the animal howled as the light shone on a figure waiting at the door of my home.


    ¡°Uuuuu, hello there puny mortaaaal!¡± the figure of the god who had given me some kind of peace was greeting me with effeminate voice.


    ¡°What do you want Loki, I have no time for you, I have date with the woman with big tits in town.¡±


    Loki gave a girlish laugh ¡°Woman, big tits, town? How interesting!!¡± he gave a small jump in the air and patted Shadow on the shoulder. The huge wolf shivered at the touch. I looked at the God straight in the eyes and I could see he was enjoying this. I couldn¡¯t help but shiver too if Loki ever touched me.


    I jumped from Shadows and spanked him hard enough for him to understand he was dismissed, Loki might be his owner but I was his boss. I started making my way towards the entrance of my home and the god started circling me.


    ¡°So tell me little mortal, what are you planning on doing with the woman today?¡± I ignored him, he usually left if I ignored him.


    ¡°Ignoring me won¡¯t help little Kami, if you don¡¯t answer I will most likely tear down all the hard work you did today¡± this stopped me in my tracks.


    ¡°I don¡¯t mind you bothering me god, but touch my trees and you and I will have a problem.¡± Loki smiled big when I said this.Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.


    ¡°So you like big tits and trees do you puny mortal¡­¡± his voiced changed in that instance from the girly voice he was using before to something more slithery and threatening ¡°threaten me again and you won¡¯t have eyes to look at them, now tell me what are you doing with that woman today?!¡±


    I was sure that if I didn¡¯t answer the future of my eyes was up in the air, so leaving my pride at the door I turned around with my most winning smile.


    ¡°I was hoping to probably get her naked and enjoy the company of the most beautiful woman in town, there has been an influx of beauties lately but they just want me for my olives, I think this one is different.¡±


    Loki changed demeanor again and became the effeminate figure I had become accustomed to. ¡°Very interesting, but just a word of caution Farmer, most roses have thorns and not all olives are green.¡±


    I looked around at Loki and marveled at his height ¡°What the fuck does that even mean?¡±


    For some reason I had never looked at him properly and usually Shadow was close to me and next to him both of us were tiny.


    ¡°What I said mortal that is what I mean!¡± he turned and disappeared with a laugh that the most discerning among us mortals would categorize as evil.


    I went into my room to wash my self and from the little slit on the stone I could see Shadow cowering under the shadow of the house, I wanted to let the wolf know I understood him, but I had a date with a beautiful woman and I was not going to let a god scare the shit out of me, I might let a god shake the milk out of me but that would be my limit.


    As I approached the town Loki¡¯s words bounced inside my head, not all olives are green, well of course they aren¡¯t, stupid god. I knew I was missing something important but fate awaited me in the arms of my green eyed woman and fate cannot be kept waiting.


    I opened the door to Hog¡¯s Inn and as usual I found it full of drunken adventurers that before all this shit went down would be considered drunk carpenters, masons or cooks and behind the bar the woman of my dreams.


    I tried my best to act nonchalant but like I said we didn¡¯t speak much in my town before the Gods got here ¡°So where were we big tits?¡±


    Fuuuuccckkkkk!


    I have no idea to what god I have to thank but she just giggled and replied ¡°You tell me Farmer?¡±


    I found it strange that she would call me farmer, the only one who did that was Loki but then again I was a farmer.


    ¡°If I recall correctly we were going to get to know each other better.¡±


    The sultry woman looked me up and down, I hadn¡¯t noticed how tall she was either. She moved her head to the side telling me to follow her, and I gladly acquiesced as we made our way to the cellar of the Inn.


    My mind kicked into high gear and I felt a sense of foreboding I hadn¡¯t felt before, the woman¡¯s hair began to turn black from the golden brown that was there before, her green eyes turned black, and the most egregious offense of all her tits began to shrink.


    I looked at the scene before me and I could see Hog hanging from some chains having lost a couple of hundred pounds. I wasn¡¯t sure if he looked better but the chains weren¡¯t helping my decision.


    I turned to look at the woman with small tits and genuinely asked ¡°Would you care to explain why Hog is tied down in chains, and why you decided to change to this extremely sexy but decidedly less voluptuous figure?¡±


    By now I had realized I was dealing with a goddess so I bowed a little to see if that would help my case.


    ¡°You are a funny man, Farmer, the Innkeeper here thought he could have me too, but I love seeing the despair in men¡¯s eyes when they figure out they can¡¯t have THIS¡± she dramatically pointed at her body.


    In my mind I was pretty sure I wouldn¡¯t be finding out her name anytime soon, on the bright side now I understood what Loki was trying to tell me, on a darker note I didn¡¯t know if I was angry at being deceived or at the fact that her real tits where smaller.

 Chapter 4

    ¡°The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn¡¯t still be a farmer¡± ¨C WR (Time and place unknown)


    I had been under the Hog¡¯s Inn for I don¡¯t know how long, at least two days according to the waste I was leaving at the corner of my little prison. Hog still hung from his chains and his faced lulled from side to side with a big smile on his face and the only light that shone on us came from the little candle that hung next to the door.


    I had my hands tied behind my back and my ankles where clamped together, you see know how difficult it was for me to go to the bathroom. I heard the door open once again and our captor made her way down the stairs very sensually as she changed her appearance once again from voluptuous blonde to elegant brunette. ¡°Good morning little pets!¡± Hog mumbled something that sounded happy under the weight of his chains, I nodded towards the goddess.


    ¡°How¡¯s my snake been treating you?¡± I looked towards the snake that know clung from Hog¡¯s left leg and shrugged. The goddess seemed angry at my mute responses ¡°Talk to me slave, I asked you a question.¡±


    I sighed inwardly and answered ¡°Goddess it¡¯s not very pleasant being bit by the snake, my friend Hog might not be immune to snake poison and that¡¯s why he is smiling like a retard over there in his corner, but I¡¯ve been bitten many times before and it is just annoying now.¡±


    I had been yelling for Shadow or even Loki the last few days but I never got an answer from them, every time I yelled the vapid snake would come and bite me somewhere, up until know it had only bitten my arms and legs, but I worried if I kept yelling my manhood would be at stake.


    The goddess pouted a little ¡°Stupid Farmers and immunity to poisons, I will have to bring a Wolf to break this fool.¡±


    I interrupted her trail of thought ¡°I¡¯m sorry goddess I don¡¯t think that will work, Loki already brought one and I have no sheep, only pigs and olive trees.¡±


    The goddess fumed at the name of Loki ¡°Did you just say Loki mortal?¡±


    I hesitated before answering ¡°Yes, ma¡¯am he left me a huge Wolf and I called him Shadow and he also pops up from time to time to screw my fields up, I don¡¯t necessarily like him. For the record he seems kind of queer.¡±


    The goddess gave a wonderful laugh that, had I not been tied down in a cellar with a mumbling idiot, would have made me happy to hear.


    ¡°He is not queer mortal, he is just eccentric, and I am actually his wife.¡±


    That last word she said with disdain, and if I was confused before I was baffled now.


    ¡°So you aren¡¯t very happy with him are you?¡± I sent the hook, line and sinker and hopefully she would bite.


    What came next I did not expect we sat there for what felt like days and she told me her whole life story and mind you never once did the bitch reveal her name. My trees where probably dying but every night I shouted to Loki to take care of them, Loki could probably kill mewith one blow but how much fear can you have of a god when you are tied down by another god in a cellar? The elegant woman was always angry at my interruption when I shouted ¡°Loki take care of my trees and pigs!!!¡± but I only got a slap on the face every time I did that, worth it if you ask me.


    ¡°So you are trying to tell me that for eons you stood next to Loki with a bowl trying to catch every drop of venom from a snake that fell on his body while he was tied down by the guts of his son?¡±


    The goddess looked at me remembering fond memories ¡°Yes, Farmer, those were some of the best days of my life.¡±


    I was confused at her answers but to each his own. ¡°Well, I am kind of surprised his married, I found him to be interested in other pursuits if you ask me.¡±Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.


    ¡°Well he once fucked a horse.¡±


    If dumbfounded had a look it was the one on my face at that instance.


    ¡°But he was the mare at the time, he actually gave birth to Sleipnir, have you seen a big eight legged horse going around?¡±


    I shook my head, I wasn¡¯t sure if I did it to answer the question about the horse or to negate the idea of Loki being fucked by a horse.


    ¡°Enough talk mortal, your punishment for desiring me is due.¡±


    I was sad to hear this news. She produced a whip from thin air and started whipping me all over, I had welts from the nights before and they kept opening up as she hit me.


    Once before I had passed out, and the exhaustion of hearing her whole story had decreased my stamina considerably, I know I shouted a couple of times.


    ¡°You see mortal, if you weren¡¯t immune to the poison of my snake you would be smiling at the pain like Hog over there, I find no pleasure in seeing you suffer without a smile.¡±


    For once I wanted to speak and tell her to shove her whip up her ass but words failed me. I was lying face down on the floor hurting for myself, my trees and my pigs but at the moment there was nothing I could do about it. It seemed the woman was tired for today.


    ¡°I will be returning tomorrow¡± she said my way as she went up the stairs and transformed again to the beautiful blonde. Every time she transformed I could see her naked for a fraction of a second, so I smiled a little, one had to take the good things with the bad.


    This sequence of events transpired for almost twenty waste deposits on the corner of our little prison, Hog didn¡¯t talk much for he was always in a venom induced trance, but I didn¡¯t really care for we almost never spoke.


    My conversations with the goddess became less interesting with time and my shouts to Loki and Shadow were never answered, I was losing hope but seeing the goddess naked from time to time kept me hanging by a thread. The life of a farmer is a lonely one.


    The snake seemed like an intelligent animal because it stopped biting me when it figured it¡¯s poison didn¡¯t affect me, I would like to think we became kind of friends by the end of my stay in the cellar of the inn but it would be a few months more before I ever got out. I have no recollection of time now but Hog eventually died, probably an overdose of poison. The goddess reprimanded the snake and I could see the snake was sad, don¡¯t ask me how I know this but we¡¯d gotten to know each other well. The snake had helped me clean the cellar of poop and piss by moving it all to a drainage pipe at the far corner of the room, and for some time day by day we just sat there looking at the door waiting for the goddess to show up.


    For what seemed like a year, but probably wasn¡¯t, the goddess opened the door once again and as usual she called to us ¡°Good morning little pets!¡±


    I enjoyed her transformation process and smiled towards the snake, even if it didn¡¯t understand me I felt it had to know what all men know without having to speakwhen there is a hot woman around.


    ¡°Hello goddess we are here waiting for your wonderful company¡± my straight face was very good so I hope she didn¡¯t see through my sarcasm.


    ¡°As it should be mortal, as it should be!¡± I was losing patience by now and for some reason not knowing her name made it even worse so I took what little of my courage I had left and asked ¡°Goddess I¡¯ve been in this cellar for some time know, I think me and the snake are now friends, I call it Snowplow, but I don¡¯t know your name, shit you don¡¯t even know mine!¡±


    The goddess frowned for a second ¡°I don¡¯t like the name Snowplow for my snake¡±


    I sighed ¡°Well if you would tell me it¡¯s real name I wouldn¡¯t have to give everything shitty names now would I?¡±


    Exasperated I turned to the snake ¡°Right Snowploooowww!?¡±


    The snake hissed in confirmation.


    The goddess stood up quite angry and slapped me in the face, she wasn¡¯t as strong as her whip and getting slapped by her hands wasn¡¯t actually so bad.


    ¡°You insolent mortal, if you want my name you should tell me yours first!¡±


    I swear I saw her blushing, I stood up with my tied ankles and wrists, not as easy as it sounds. ¡°My name is Kami, I am an olive farmer and I raise pigs¡±


    I could see the woman was taller than me but not by much she lowered her eyes towards me ¡°My name is Sigyn and I am Loki¡¯s wife, I like bondage and poison play.¡±


    For some reason this felt like a first date. I think I even blushed a little. As the awkward silence grew Snowplow decided to intervene with a hiss.


    I came back from my reverie ¡°Well¡­nice to meet you!¡±


    Sigyn gave me a small demure smile totally out of context with her ¡°I¡¯m a nasty goddess¡± look and commanded me to the floor. She whipped me again that night but I was sure the whipping felt lighter. As she left and transformed into the voluptuous blonde I wished she would have stayed as the elegant brunette. Next to me Snowplow hissed. The snake was right, I was starting to like the crazy goddess.

 Chapter 5

    I think I¡¯ve said this before but I was losing track of time.


    Snowplow and me where getting to know each other better and sometimes we had our differences. It got angry at me when I went to the bathroom, which was almost every day, and I got angry at it the only time it ever shed its skin.


    Things with Sigyn were looking up, she always beat the crap out of me when she visited but we were starting to get to know each other better. For instance she hated bowls, she enjoyed being a bartender and she wanted to have more kids.


    I understood that last one due to the fact that her last kids were used as restraints for her husband who was now taking care of my trees¡­ or so I hoped.


    She decided to untie my hands after some time, I felt this was an emotional success. I was still a prisoner but I could use my hands now.


    Snowplow and I tried to make the cellar a more habitable living space, we moved Hog¡¯s bones to the corner and did a little mound of bones that looked like a nice statue.


    We tried our best to clean the floor, but there is just so much you can do being tied by your feet. I started exercising my body every day, some crunches here, some pushups there. I was hoping Sigyn would notice.


    But one day I was greeted by Sigyn followed by another man, no doubt another person believing themselves to be an adventurer.


    ¡°Kami, I have some new friends for you!¡± came the voice of my beautiful goddess.


    ¡°Oh mistress, what wonderful news!¡± I answered feeling exactly the opposite, whoever had come in to the cellar would be fighting for her affection just like me. I looked towards the newcomer and saw he was actually a good looking man. This made me unhappier.


    I sneered his way ¡°This is my corner, and the snake is my friend. Come close to me and I will fuck you up!¡± my eyes flashed in anger. I might be a farmer but I grew up with one of the strongest magicians in the world, almost nothing fazed me.


    The newcomer spit my way and I let it fly by next to me, stupid adventurers.


    ¡°Now behave Kami, we can¡¯t have you soiling my new playthings.¡± I nodded like a brainwashed child towards my goddess and removed myself farther from the new prisoner. The goddess left without even whipping me and I knew I had displeased her.


    ¡°Who the fuck are you?¡± I asked the newcomer.


    ¡°Look you swiveling piece of cow dung, I have no words for you or your kind.¡±


    My kind¡­ My kind!!?


    ¡°What do you mean by my kind, you poor excuse for an adventurer? I¡¯ve been living in this cellar for what I hope is less than a year and you will treat me with due respect!¡± After uttering those words, what was left of my sanity made me realize the stupidity of my words.


    ¡°You are a prisoner of the wife of Loki, you have succumbed to her advances and now you can¡¯t even think straight!¡±Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.


    The good looking man before me was tied by his hands and feet, just like I was when I was brought in for the first time. My trusty snake was next to me defending my honor as I mulled over the words from the adventurer.


    ¡°I have no idea what you are talking about!¡± I answered slightly less unsure of myself.


    ¡°Like I said slave, you can¡¯t even see you¡¯ve been played by a God, and yet you stand there insulting one who is trying to save you!¡±


    Trying to save me? What was this deranged man trying to say? He continued with his belittlement of my person.


    ¡°There are only a handful of olive farmers in the world, and all of them have to be mentally retarded¡±


    I took offense to this remark and answered in kind.


    ¡°What do you mean mentally retarded, last time I looked you are the first adventurer to be caught by my beautiful goddess, I was having the time of my life before you came into this cellar. Isn¡¯t that right Snowplow?¡± Snowplow hissed in accord.


    The newcomer to my recently cleaned cellar shook his head in resignation. ¡°Don¡¯t you understand Farmer, you have been PLAYED!¡±


    How could this man know I was a farmer? I was getting tired of all this new revelations and moved even deeper in to my cellar. Was something really happening to me? I had no idea but I wanted to find out. I looked at the adventurer before me and I saw a man whose age showed in his eyes. He was lying against the wall and I decided to come closer, I wanted to know how long I¡¯d been under the ground.


    ¡°So if you are not here for the Goddess, would you mind telling me how long I¡¯ve been underground?¡± the strong looking individual lifted his eyes from the floor and answered.


    ¡°We have no idea how long you¡¯ve been in this cellar but right now the trees are beginning to dry and brown leaves scatter on the streets of Fincas Nosu.¡± Autumn. Almost a year I¡¯d been here, Hog had died, and now I had a visitor opening my eyes to things I would rather not know.


    ¡°Why am I played?¡± I asked unsure.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you understand farmer, to recreate the mountain and bring backJesus all adventurers in the land need those god forsaken olive branches! Your field was the last one until you were captured by Loki and his wife!¡±


    I looked towards the snake and it acted like it hadn¡¯t understood. Was my best friend playing me too?


    ¡°Snowplow is this true?¡± I asked the snake


    It hissed loudly. I noticed it was lying.


    ¡°Snowplow how could you, you piss of shit!¡± The snake hissed again but a little less loud.


    ¡°What do you mean you didn¡¯t mean too!!? You told me I would be able to fuck her!¡± I was losing it and the newcomers face reminded me that he thought so too.


    I grabbed my head and screamed like I hadn¡¯t screamed since those times studying with my father and sister. I was angry as all hell and there was nothing stopping what would happen next.


    To trust someone was really hard for me, but I trusted Snowplow and it had just confirmed what the adventurer was saying, to say I was sad was an understatement I was pissed.


    My Goddess hearing the commotion came down to the cellar. ¡°What is going on here boys? Playing nice?¡± She was still in her voluptuous blonde form, it had been some time since I¡¯d seen it.


    ¡°You played me Sigyn! I thought we were on to something!¡± I cried more hurt than angry. The scars on my back stung not from the pain but from the truth that the newcomer had revealed. Snowplow was at the farthest corner of the cellar validating the newcomer¡¯s words, ashamed of himself probably.


    ¡°What do you mean sweetheart? The most fun I¡¯ve ever had with a human was with you!¡± tears fell from my goddess¡¯ eyes and for a second I actually believed her. Just like the snake, she had played me.


    I had become immune to the snakes bite but not to a woman¡¯s love.


    The newcomer looked my way with a sorrowful expression and I with my eyes I told him to move.


    I did something I hadn¡¯t done in a long time. I called upon fire and it remembered me. I silently said goodbye to Snowplow and uttered one word.


    ¡°Burn.¡±


    And burn it did.

 Chapter 6

    Fire enveloped my makeshift home in the cellar, I saw how the newcomer went to hide in the pile of shit that had started to accumulate this past month. Smart man.


    In front of me my goddess burned like a glorious candle, she tried to transform herself to different shapes but my fire did not discriminate.


    I could hear a commotion from the floor above, they were probably roasting quite nicely, I was pissed and nothing was stopping this inferno now, not god, his friends or a magician close by. It had been fun for a while to live in the cellar, I had hoped to get to know Sigyn better but it seemed now she had other plans.


    If Sigyn looked like a glorious screaming candle, I looked like an angry torch, you never get used to the fire even if some magicians are good at controlling the burn upon themselves, and the flames still burn your body.


    I saw the newcomer battling to breath and I decided to stop the Inferno.


    I walked towards Snowplow but he was just ash now, he¡¯d been a nice friend, a lying friend, but a friend none the less.


    Sigyn was still screaming ¡°You will die stupid mortal!! Loki will avenge me!¡± I looked down at her with disdain.


    ¡°You looked better without the burns, bitch¡± I kicked her.


    She coughed up blood.


    ¡°I thought Gods didn¡¯t bleed woman!¡± My eyes were still burning.


    ¡°You are nothing Prometheus! The Gods from every pantheon will punish you for your insolence.¡±


    Who the fuck was Prometheus? Since I couldn¡¯t understand what the now ugly woman was saying I decided to be merciful.


    ¡°Are you able to die goddess?¡± The woman beneath me wreathing in pain shook her head.


    ¡°I will be back Prometheus! With a horde of gods on my back to destroy you! Neither you or Jesus will save mankind!¡± I shook my head.


    What a pity to kill such a fiery woman, no pun intended.


    ¡°Suit yourself, and by the way, my name is Kami.¡± I called upon fire again and burned the shit out of her, if particles of sand were left after that bonfire Sigyn became, they were taken away by the wind that came through the hole I¡¯d left on the floor above.


    ¡°Good job, Kami.¡± The newcomer had risen from the pile of shit he¡¯d been hiding in, all the shit was all dried up now. It would make great manure for my trees.


    ¡°Who are you, man?¡± I asked while wiping the ashes from my body, I don¡¯t know to what extent Sigyn had brain washed me but I was completely naked.


    ¡°My name is Dr¨®gar, and my party should be waiting for us on the outside, I was planning other means of escape but this will do.¡± He looked around at the damage I¡¯d created. From the hole on the cellar roof I could see old man¡¯s Turtle corpse full of blisters but with a smile. Her ghost wife or ex-wife was still there but the flames hadn¡¯t affected her as much.


    ¡°I am going to see my trees.¡± I told the man covered in shit and left for the stairs.This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.


    ¡°Hold on Kami, we¡¯ve been charged to look for you. The country need¡¯s those olives there are no longer any olive farms left and without those branches we cannot complete the mountain!¡±


    I was very tired from exerting myself, calling upon fire was not an easy task, I had been underground for almost a year and I had no idea if my pleas to Loki and Shadow had been heard. For all I knew my trees were already dead.


    ¡°If what you say is true Dr¨®gar, then going to see my trees is very important.¡± I started walking toward the stairs and I found I had burnt them down.


    ¡°Could you give a hand?¡± I asked the dirty figure. He sighed and gave me a push to the floor upstairs. I thought about leaving him but I was not that much of an asshole. I put my hand down and helped him up.


    We both walked to the outside of the burnt down inn and what greeted us was a crew of seven people, four men and three women, all of them covered in ashes.


    ¡°Dr¨®gar, we thought you would have been more subtle, Loki is probably on his way already, and did you get the farmer?¡± a huge man with a deep voice said as we approached.


    Dr¨®gar pointed my way. ¡°It wasn¡¯t me who burned this hovel to the ground, if you are looking for the culprit right there is your man¡± he pointed at me sideways as he cleaned himself from the residual crap on his body.


    ¡°And who might you be?¡± the same huge man asked me.


    ¡°I guess I would be the famer.¡± I stepped away from Dr¨®gar so as not to get shit on me while he cleaned himself.


    ¡°My name is Alfar, I am in charge of the people you see here. We are on a mission to revive Jesus and bring forth the salvation of men.¡± I was getting tired of this guy named Jesus and was about to blow up when I heard a sound that did not make me happy at all.


    ¡°Ku Kuuuuuuu!¡± Oh shit. Loki was near.


    I looked at the group of seven and at Dr¨®gar next to me. ¡°Loki is here, I hope you are ready to get the shit kicked out of you, because from what I understand I just killed his wife. And from what I learned from her this last year she was very helpful to him while he was being chained and poisoned.¡±


    ¡°Everyone get ready, Samuela shield us, Dr¨®gar get into attack position!¡± Alfar commanded his team of men and women. Dr¨®gar disappeared like smoke and I was left alone with Loki standing in front of me.


    ¡°Hellooooo puny mortal, what is this I hear you killed my wife?¡± Loki had arrived and was caressing my face with his long fingernails. I really didn¡¯t appreciate it.


    ¡°Hello Loki, how are my trees?¡± I replied without answering his question.


    ¡°Tsk, Tsk, Tsk¡± Loki said as he watched the other eight member of the party mover around us. ¡°When a god asks you a question, you answer Kami. Or weren¡¯t the gods of this pitiful world hasher on you people?¡±


    I had never been one to believe in gods, I once prayed for rain and it never came, so I decided to ignore them if they ever existed. ¡°I don¡¯t have faith in gods really, Loki. I repeat, how are my trees?¡±


    Loki stopped acting like the effeminate guy he usually was ¡°SHUT UP MORTAL! I asked you did you kill my wife!¡±


    I looked for help from the surrounding crowd but none came forth. ¡°Do you mean the woman with the big tits?¡±


    Loki grabbed me by the face ¡°Yes mortal, the woman with the big tits! Did you kill her?¡±


    ¡°Then no, I did not kill her.¡±


    ¡°What do you mean you didn¡¯t kill her, then why are her ashes rolling around Fincas Nosu?!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry if that is the case Loki but I killed the woman with the small tits, if the woman with the big tits was your wife then surely I can¡¯t be blamed if I killed the woman with the small tits, right?...Changing subjects. Could you tell me how my trees are?¡±


    Loki grabbed me by the neck and the group of adventurers that had been watching tensed up. I could see Shadow running towards us. ¡°Fenrir eat this insolent prick!¡±


    I saw Shadow wince at the words but he still came to eat me. ¡°You too Shadow? I already killed Snowplow. Did you take care of my trees?¡±


    The huge wolf shook his head and I felt despair at the action. Not only had I lost my time and my trees, I was about to lose my wolf too.


    Loki pressed with all his might and I lost the ability to breathe. I heard Alfar scream ¡°Charge!¡± and I saw Shadow¡¯s mouth open up to end my life. I shed a small tear as I called upon fire for a second time that day.


    It answered without hesitation, like old lovers meeting each other after being separated for a long time.


    Fire erupted under us burning away flesh and evaporating tears.

 Chapter 7

    I couldn¡¯t breathe and the fire wasn¡¯t helping, Loki was smiling at my failed attempts to scorch him to death. Shadow or Fenrir as Loki called him, was fighting off two men in Alfar¡¯s company, the wolf was burning but that didn¡¯t seem to stop him.


    ¡°I am a king of Jotund mortal! I¡¯ve lived Odin¡¯s wrath and Thor¡¯s disdain to be burned by the likes of you!¡± He shook me like a rag doll and all I could do was talk to the flames and beg them to burn brighter. As I lost consciousness I could hear Alfar directing the team.


    ¡°Now Samuela! Envelope him!¡±


    I saw a light bubble appear over me and Loki and I could breathe for a brief second.


    ¡°It¡¯s not working¡­ Dr¨®gar attack!¡±


    From behind Loki two blades the size of my arms pierced through Loki¡¯s body. Loki was stll smiling as blood filled his mouth.


    ¡°Do you think this is enough? Do you think you can kill me this easy!?¡±


    A seeping cold filled my bones and I could see it was affecting everybody around me, I was still unable to breath and my fire was dying. I lost consciousness.


    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------


    I drifted in my dreams, it was cold in here. I could hear a raging storm within my mind and someone trying to escape it.


    ¡°Hello, who¡¯s there?¡± I asked unsure. Wondering if I would be answering myself.


    I kept walking in the dark and the raging storm became louder. It seemed that I walked for ages until I found the distinct figure of a burning bush.


    ¡°Hello?¡± I asked the burning bush.


    ¡°Umm¡­who is there?¡± the burning bush asked my way.


    ¡°Are you blind?¡±


    ¡°You could say so, may I ask to whom I¡¯m speaking?¡±


    ¡°My name is Kami, what¡¯s your name?¡± Other than the burning bush and myself nothing else was happening in the void we found each other.


    ¡°I have no name, but you¡¯ve called me Fire ever since I¡¯ve known you¡±


    ¡°Then could you at least answer what you are doing here?¡± The burning bush thought for a while.


    ¡°You called upon me, so I came¡± I was pretty confused now, when had I called a burning bush?


    It kept talking ¡°Don¡¯t you remember the last time we met?¡± I was having a hard time taking the burning bush seriously. As far as I was concerned I¡¯d never met a burning bush before.


    The burning bush sighed ¡°Well, it seems that yet again we meet under inauspicious circumstances, if you don¡¯t do anything quickly you¡¯ll probably die.¡±Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    ¡°What do you mean I¡¯ll die?¡± I couldn¡¯t feel any pressure in the void, and the raging storm was dying.


    ¡°Outside, your friends are dying, and the fire is being eaten by the cold, if you don¡¯t wake up we will probably not meet again and not many people call for me now a days, it would be a pretty lonely life.¡±


    I turned and looked around, it was all dark but for the light emanating from the fiery bush.


    ¡°So what do I do?¡± I asked the bush


    ¡°Do what you did last time. Burn it all!¡± The fiery bush¡¯s tone had changed and the fire on its branches were reaching higher and higher in the void and I could see that we weren¡¯t really alone in the dark place. The light now showed me images of what was happening outside.


    I saw the woman Samuela being attacked by Shadow and two men trying to contain him, Alfar and Dr¨®gar fought Loki and my limp form hung from his hand. One man was dead under Shadow¡¯s body and a woman hung from his jaws, the third and last woman of the party was running away trying to heal herself.


    I hated seeing me weak and naked hanging from Loki¡¯s arm, he was laughing maniacally and a hint of his effeminate side could be seen from the way he carried my body. If he¡¯d let himself be fucked by a horse I didn¡¯t want to know what he would do with a dead man.


    I looked towards the fiery bush and asked one last question ¡°Are you by any chance a burning olive bush?¡±


    The fiery bush hesitated ¡°I have no idea, do I look like a burning olive bush?¡± I nodded knowing full well the bush couldn¡¯t see me. I looked at myself one last time and I yelled for fire.


    The fire in the void grew and grew until It could no longer be contained and I opened my eyes.


    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    I was breathing, Loki was on the ground and so were the remaining living people from the party. The ground was scorched and Shadow was lying some feet away whimpering. I got close to him.


    ¡°Shadow why did you do this?¡± The wolf had tears in his eyes, we¡¯d gotten to know each other and at least I thought he felt bad for his betrayal. ¡°Will you be OK?¡± I asked the dying wolf.


    It howled in assurance and I knew he¡¯d be ok. Later on I would learn he was a god as well, but to me he was my wolf. I killed him with one of the swords of the dead adventurers. His hide was too thick, but the exposed soft tissue from the burns made it easier for me to kill him. It took a while and it probably hurt like hell but my wolf had betrayed me and he knew it.


    ¡°You are quite something aren¡¯t you Prometheus?¡± Loki was standing up and back to his girly manners, his long nails drew circles on his cheeks.


    I faced Loki ¡°Who the fuck is Prometheus and could you explain what just happened?¡± I could see Dr¨®gar and Alfar making their way towards me, Samuela and the two other surviving members of the party were taking care of their wounds.


    ¡°Tsk, Tsk, Tsk, ignorant world we¡¯ve been thrust upon haven¡¯t we love?¡± from behind Loki, Sigyn appeared looking like a fallen angel all in black and very little clothes.


    ¡°Yes husband, it would seem so but at least the mortal is talented.¡± She pointed my way. ¡°Are the fields destroyed?¡± Sigyn asked her husband. Loki nodded towards his wife.


    ¡°Then our job here is done, the others are waiting for us, you can have fun later.¡± She playfully pinched her husband¡¯s cheek and disappeared into thin air along with Loki.


    I turned around to see the rest of the adventurers and from the eight people that had begun their little treck only six were left. Dr¨®gar, Alfar, Samuela, two other men and a woman. The mood was somber and the death of the other two members in the group weighed heavily on them. I gave them a sincere apology and let them know I would be on my way to see my fields. Before I could make my way home I heard the voice of one of the women.


    ¡°Just so you know, your eyebrows are gone.¡± One of the surviving men said my way.


    ¡°What?¡± I asked


    ¡°Your eyebrows are gone¡­ for that matter also your hair, like everywhere¡±He motioned towards my whole body. I looked at Alfar for confirmation and he nodded.


    I looked towards Dr¨®gar. ¡°It doesn¡¯t look thaaaaaat bad.¡±


    I followed his gaze to the woman lying on the floor who had been trying to flee moments before, she seemed the straight forward type. She cocked her head to the side. ¡°No¡­ they are lying, you look like shit¡±

 Chapter 8

    I was unhappy at the fact that I had no hair, anywhere, but it was nothing compared to how unhappy I felt when I got to my olive fields.


    ¡°We are sorry for your loss, Kami.¡± Alfar said on behalf of the group of people behind him. They had followed me all the way back to my farm and even though I didn¡¯t want their company it was good to have someone to talk to at the time.


    ¡°You don¡¯t understand, man. This fields were my life, I had found peace in them and I knew each tree by name.¡± I looked towards the tattered crew and pointed towards the now flat field of fallen trees. ¡°I came here to relax, to calm my mind, do you understand how hard it is to be a famer? How you have to wake up every morning to fight plagues, weather and unruly weeds? I had no time to think and I loved it.¡±


    For a while now I¡¯d been happy, even after the arrival of the Gods, getting to know Shadow had been fun. Pigs weren¡¯t the best of pets. And now all of my hard work and peace had been cut to the ground.


    ¡°Are you looking for revenge?¡± The woman who said I looked like shit asked me.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know what I¡¯m looking for¡­¡± I saw the sun setting towards the horizon and heard Dr¨®gar ask come close to me.


    ¡°So how about you join our party? We are in need of olives to complete our quest, and due to the lack of olives, we could at least use a farmer.¡± I gave him a small smile.


    ¡°And do what Dr¨®gar? Find Jesus?¡± the small good looking man gave me a slight shrug.


    ¡°It¡¯s better than been naked on a dead field of olives.¡± I looked down towards my state of undress and sighed in resignation.


    ¡°What do you say farmer, will you join us?¡± Alfar asked my way.


    I nodded towards the group and left to look around the field, it there was nothing left in it. As I made my way back to the group I felt a slimmer of hope in my heart. I picked up an olive, the only one left on the field as far as the eye could see.


    Maybe there was still hope to have my farm once again.


    Samuela whispered something in Dr¨®gar¡¯s ear once I was within earshot of the group and he yelled my way ¡°Samuela wants to know if you are ever going to put some clothes on, or if all farmers like to walk with their dick out?¡±


    I threw a piece of branch their way ¡°What does she like it?¡± The brunette woman blushed a deep red and threw the branch my way. Dr¨®gar answered for her ¡°She says you should measure your dick against that stick, if it¡¯s smaller you shouldn¡¯t even bother!¡±


    The stick was huge. ¡°What!? Let the woman speak for herself!¡± I yelled back, Samuela was now a very dark shade of red and was hitting Dr¨®gar over the head with a stone. I made my way closer naked as the first day I saw this world.The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    ¡°So the size of this stick?¡± I told her showing her the branch. She shook her head and hit me with the stone as well.


    Dr¨®gar was laughing on the floor ¡°She¡¯s mute.¡±


    Samuela ran towards the other members of the party and I saw the other woman consoling Samuela as she shot dangerous looks our way.


    ¡°Well you¡¯ve pissed the only two women in the party, I don¡¯t think you¡¯ll be getting lucky any time soon.¡± Alfar told me as I caressed the spot where the stone had hit me. It wouldn¡¯t be the first time women had shone me, after all I was a pig famer.


    I entered my home and picked up all the clothing I had left and opened the box that held treasures of my previous life. I picked up the red robe, and the staff, called upon fire and burned the chest.


    ¡°You look kind of dangerous.¡± The woman consoling Samuela told me. I still didn¡¯t know her name, and yet, finding out women¡¯s names had gotten me into trouble before, so I hesitantly answered.


    ¡°I think it¡¯s not having hair.¡±


    ¡°No, that¡¯s just creepy, your red robe¡­ it looks dangerous.¡±


    I understood, it was mostly blood.


    ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m Cora.¡±


    I looked her up and down, if Samuela was short, cute and brunette, Cora was nasty, big and blonde. I really liked blondes.


    ¡°What do you do for the party Cora?¡±


    ¡°I fight.¡±


    She spoke with really short sentences, she would have fit perfectly in Fincas Nosu.


    ¡°Then why were you fleeing when you fought Loki?¡±


    She made a face at that statement and hissed ¡°I was not fleeing, I was trying to heal myself or else the party would have one less fighter.¡± I nodded and left her there without another word.


    ¡°Is that it, you¡¯re not going to tell me about the blood on your robe?¡± she yelled my way.


    I shrugged and looked at her funny ¡°What blood woman? This blood?¡± I pointed towards my robe.


    She nodded.


    ¡°Its pigs blood Cora, remember? I¡¯m a farmer.¡± I winked her way and made my way towards Dr¨®gar.


    ¡°So pigs blood, eh?¡± the short man with the two swords asked me.


    ¡°What? You don¡¯t believe me?¡± He looked towards what used to be the pig den and shook his head.


    ¡°Nah, I don¡¯t¡±


    I shrugged like I usually did and made my way to the edge of what used to be my olive tree field. I caressed the small olive in my pocket and felt a deep sadness within me. I called upon fire and for some reason the face of the burning bush flashed through my mind.


    Fire appeared on the end of my finger tips and the fire jumped from hand to hand like it was eager to leave my grasp. I juggled it a couple of times to get back the feeling of what controlling fire felt like and I pointed it towards my field.


    I burned the remaining trunks scattered on the floor, leaving ashes and organic material where rows of olives used to be, even though the field was big, fire made quick work of almost anything. Burning the remaining trees would fertilize the land and it would be helpful to any new famers coming this way.


    Even though my trees would never give fruit again, they would become part of many new trees planted on this field.


    Unlike most humans who depart this world without leaving anything of worth behind, my trees would leave their help to the new generation of trees growing in Fincas Nosu. I could learn something from my trees.


    I turned towards Alfar and asked him ¡°So what now?¡±


    He gave me a giant smile and answered ¡°We go find Jesus.¡±

 Chapter 9

    It turns out that finding Jesus isn¡¯t as easy as people make it out to be. We started our journey the morning after I¡¯d razed my fields and we immediately found a problem.


    Dr¨®gar who was apparently the scout, rogue, assassin, smart ass, and all round pain in the ass announced to the party that we were lost. I couldn¡¯t believe what I was hearing.


    ¡°What do you mean we are lost? Fincas Nosu is right behind us, look!¡± I pointed backwards fearing I was being too obvious.


    ¡°I know where we are farmer! It still doesn¡¯t change the fact we are lost!¡±


    I looked dumbfounded at the rest of the party and apparently they knew something I didn¡¯t, because none of them looked distressed at the news.


    ¡°Could someone please explain to me why we are lost?¡± I asked as politely as possible. Cora came to my rescue and answered me.


    ¡°What the arseling is trying to say, farmer, is that the scriptures say nothing after reaching the north?¡±


    I still didn¡¯t understand what was going on, Alfar decided to come to my rescue next ¡°All the adventurers you¡¯ve met so far have been following some scriptures that were left at an altar were the rift opened. The scriptures talked of the North and said - It is the place of God¡¯s celestial dwelling ¨C ¡°


    Alfar was rudely interrupted by Dr¨®gar ¡°Some twat named Isaiah apparently wrote that one, there was another sentence pointing towards the north that said from the North ¡°¡­ His glory descends¡± a bloke named Job said that one.¡±


    Samuela the mute woman was just nodding along at everything being said. One of the men whose name I didn¡¯t know finally said ¡°He is the true king of the North.¡±


    I looked his way and asked ¡°And pray tell who said that?¡± Dr¨®gar took it upon himself to answer. ¡°Some guy named Ezekiel.¡±


    I had heard enough of shitty names.


    ¡°Job, Isaiah¡­ fucking Ezekiel!? Who are these people? And anyways there is no mention of the guy named Jesus in anything you¡¯ve said thus far¡­¡± Dr¨®gar interrupted me as he cleaned some meat from his mouth with one of his swords.


    ¡°In another verse it says Jesus is also called God, so whenever you read God it means Jesus¡­ or if you read Holy Ghost it means Jesus, almost anything close to a God in the papers means Jesus.¡±


    Samuela pushed Cora to say the correct verse ¡°Samuela wants me to say it correctly¡­¡± Dr¨®gar snorted, and Alfar scowled his way.


    ¡°But to us there is but one God, the Father, of whom are all things, and we in him; and one Lord Jesus, by whom are all things, and we by him.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s a lot of hims isn¡¯t it?¡± I asked Dr¨®gar


    He just smiled and nodded towards Samuela. ¡°And pray tell who said that one?¡± I asked her.


    She blushed a little and wrote on the floor with a stick. ¡°Corinthians.¡± I turned to look at the rest of the party, I couldn¡¯t believe this people fell for this crap.Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ¡°Corinthians? Who would even keep that name?¡±


    ¡°I think Corinthians is not a person¡± offered Dr¨®gar. I was still amazed that this people believed all of this.


    Alfar shrugged at my discomfort and led the conversation back to the important matters ¡°Regardless if you believe it or not, it is what it is, and we are still lost. So either you help or shut up.¡±


    I seethed from my corner of the camp thinking of the shitty names I¡¯d just heard but I didn¡¯t speak, Alfar was right, we had more pressing issues at the moment. I remembered the adventurers before talking about amountain a ways north so I offered the information.


    ¡°Does that help us Dr¨®gar?¡± Alfar asked the rouge.


    ¡°It might.¡± He looked my way ¡°Do you remember what way they went farmer?¡±


    I remembered the party with the huge man or Tuaren, whatever it was, and showed them on the map that Alfar had produced where Shadow had captured him.


    ¡°Then it¡¯s settled, we march towards Nosu Bundok.¡±


    Everyone gathered their belongings, I only had my staff and my olive hidden within my robe so I was one of the first ready to leave. Cora was next to me and ready to leave as well.


    ¡°Do you really believe all this nonsense?¡± I asked the big blonde woman, I hadn¡¯t noticed before but she had a scar under her jaw that went all around her throat.


    ¡°I do, Famer, when you¡¯ve seen what we¡¯ve seen you would believe too.¡± I thought about this for a moment. It was true that information always arrived late to the outskirts of any country and I had already met two gods who didn¡¯t really like me, and I had also seen old man¡¯s Turtle ex-wife as a ghost, that didn¡¯t really look like a ghost.


    So I did what I usually do when I don¡¯t know what to do, I shrugged and started walking forwards. Dr¨®gar had already started scouting in front of us and whatever awaited us farther north was better than what awaited me farther east.


    We made camp that night next to a small crevice on a nearby mountain, the trek had been a tough one for Samuela but going over the mountain was the straightest way towards what seemed to be theother mountainwe were looking for.


    I decided to sleep a little farther from the fire because I didn¡¯t want to talk to the people there, like I said before, we didn¡¯t talk much in my little town and I was out of practice.


    As I fell asleep I saw the slim form of Samuela kneel down outside the crevice were we slept and decided to follow her. I didn¡¯t hide my presences so as to not alarm the woman. She heard me approach and signaled me to sit or kneel next to her, I really didn¡¯t know what she wanted.


    ¡°So¡­¡­¡± I played with my hands not knowing what to do with them ¡°¡­is it fun to kneel during the night?¡±


    She gave me a small laugh for my efforts and handed me the papers that held the stories I¡¯d heard before. Samuela pointed at the papers and mimed reading them. She wanted me to read them.


    ¡°What? Is there anything about famers?¡± She laughed again. I liked blondes but this brunette was laughing her way in to my good graces. She shook her head and mimed fishing.


    ¡°There¡¯s fishermen?¡± She nodded her head vigorously. I made a shocked face for her amusement and told her.


    ¡°How dare whoever wrote this papers talk about fishermen and not farmers?¡± She kept on laughing and put a small hand over mine and pointed to a page in the mess of papers. I felt appalled at what I read.


    ¡°What do you mean, they talk about fishermen AND carpenters, but no famers?¡±


    She spanked my hand to stop bothering her and encouraged me to read them during the night. I would have to get closer to the fire to read them. If I called upon fire I would probably burn them all. And if it was a pain in the ass talking to people I guessed explaining how I burnt there precious paper wouldn¡¯t be an easier conversation.


    I nodded towards Samuela and left for the fireplace with my things and the pieces of paper. I had really liked to see her smile and when she put her hand on mine I felt a little fluttering in my stomach. I would have to reevaluate my love for blondes after this trip.


    As I was about to lay on the ground I heard the menacing voice of Alfar say ¡°If you touch her, I¡¯ll kill you.¡±


    On second thought, maybe blondes are the ones for me.


    I laid on my back and started reading the story with shitty names. Ezekiel¡­really?

 Chapter 10

    The night grew darker as I kept reading and my eyes could no longer follow the script in the loose papers the mute woman had given me. I found contradictions in the writing and some of the names written there where not as shitty as the ones I had previously heard. For example there was this guy named Cain, he didn¡¯t seem that bad.


    I couldn¡¯t finish the story, I think it was set in a place called Genesis. But again I didn¡¯t really understand any of it.


    We woke up the next morning and resumed our trek through the snowy mountain, Dr¨®gar led the party following the footsteps of the adventurers that had come before us.


    ¡°Why are we even bothering to go look for the mountain, even if we get there at least a thousand others have been there before us?¡± I asked the group a little bit annoyed. Alfar took it upon himself to answer.


    ¡°We still don¡¯t know if they¡¯ve succeeded. We have to look for ourselves before we decided what course of action we¡¯ll take next. You, on the other hand, should be thinking on how we will grow olive trees on the mountain, instead of nagging us with your questions.¡±


    I felt a little angry at his depiction of my questions and looked for support from Cora.


    ¡°He¡¯s right, you nag too much, you should be thinking about planting olive trees.¡±


    I gave her a rude gesture with my hand and she responded in kind. I really liked the blonde.


    Thinking about how I would be planting trees in a fake mountain, I kept on walking with the group. I remembered the papers I had read the night before and even though the north was mentioned a few times in the script, so was the south, the east and the west.


    Clearly the south was all negative, and the west was considered dark, but the east was also a place of light. Apparently the Genesis place I¡¯d been reading about faced east, I wasn¡¯t much of a thinker but I thought it had something to do with the sun rising from the east.


    I would ask Samuela later, she would probably be kneeling at night again.


    We made camp that night at the top of the mountain, the trek had been an arduous one but tomorrow we would be descending making it easier on our stamina but harder on our knees. I decided to join Dr¨®gar and the other three men in our party, they were playing a card game.


    ¡°Fulmar, Usok, Alfar, we¡¯ll be playing Heaven Stone tonight, you know the rules.¡± The rogue told the group of men gathered around him. I hated, and I repeat, I hated card games.


    Everyone I¡¯d met always told me, it has to do with ability Kami, it¡¯s not all about luck. But I didn¡¯t believe that bullshit. Every time you needed an answer to a card played by your opponent you never had it, and every time the opponent needed a card to trample your strategy he ALWAYS got it.If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    I had been banned from playing cards at the academy in my younger years, I always burned everything to the ground.


    There weren¡¯t many fire adepts those days, and I don¡¯t believe there are many now, but I was either being cheated or luck wasn¡¯t on my side. There was a saying at the academy while I studied there ¡°Lucky in love, Unlucky at the game.¡± I hated that saying, because I hadn¡¯t had any luck in love, and sure wasn¡¯t having any luck in the game.


    They all called me a sore loser, sore was how they felt after I burned them with my fire.


    I wasn¡¯t sure they were cheating but, god damn, how many times can you lose to the same bullshit and not chant foul play?


    I stood far away from the game so as to not show my emotions to the rest of the party and I watched as Dr¨®gar always had the answer to everything. I liked the rogue but he was winning way too often.


    ¡°Don¡¯t you think he is cheating you?¡± I asked the other three men in the circle.


    ¡°You don¡¯t understand how the game is played farmer.¡± Fulmar answered my way with a sneer, I knew that sneer fairly well, it was the face you had when you were losing every time.


    I shrugged his answer away and made my way to the fire, I would be reading a little longer, maybe I would find something useful in the scriptures about growing olive trees on a fake mountain.


    The fire seeped into my bones as I sat next to the burning logs and I felt at ease as I read about Cain and Able, fairly reasonable names if you asked me. I was so entranced by the reading that I didn¡¯t notice the two women in our party sit next to me.


    ¡°Having fun?¡± Cora asked me, I noticed she had blue eyes for the first time.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know if you would call it fun, but I¡¯m not bored.¡± She nodded.


    ¡°Samuela wanted me to ask you what you¡¯ve thought of the writings.¡± The mute woman nodded vigorously next to her big friend.


    ¡°I haven¡¯t made up my mind yet¡± I answered both of them as I shuffled the papers to find a specific passage I¡¯d read yesterday.


    ¡°That same guy, Ezekiel talks about the saving presence of God, being to the East.¡± Samuela nodded in appreciation, she nudged Cora to explain.


    ¡°What you¡¯ve found is true, farmer, there are two school of thoughts now of where to find Jesus, but the truth of the matter is no one is really sure. It is either to the North or to the East, but in both there will have to be a mountain and it will have to be filled with olives for Jesus¡¯ appearance.¡±


    I nodded towards both women, even though I didn¡¯t hear one word of what they¡¯d said. For some reason the fire next to us was dancing around making the shape of the flaming bush, so whatever they said went through one ear and out the other.


    I called upon fire and the flames appeared in my hand.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Cora yelled at me. ¡°You are scaring Samuela!¡± I saw the mute woman cower next to her friend and I gave her a small smile. ¡°Don¡¯t worry I thought I saw something in the fire. Are you afraid of fire?¡±


    She nodded vigorously. I looked at Cora for an answer and she mouthed Later to me. I nodded and swept the fire away from my hands.


    I stood up to leave and I told Cora I would find her later that night. Samuela looked at us disapprovingly, I shrugged it off and went to look at the men still playing their game of Haven Stone, Fulmar, Usok and Alfar had lost a lot of money and Dr¨®gar just smiled at their displeasure.


    ¡°So, having any luck winning boys?¡± I asked the angry trio.


    ¡°SHUT UP FARMER!¡± the three of them shouted in unison.


    I smiled at Dr¨®gar. I should really burn those cards.

 Chapter 11

    Before I fell asleep I went looking for Cora so she could tell me whatever it was she wanted to tell me. I found her melting some ice and pouring water over her dirty body a little bit outside of the camp we were all sharing.


    At first I¡¯d thought she was just a big woman, but she was a very well proportionate big woman. The armor she usually wore hid a slim waist that made way to pronounced hips and legs that could probably kick the shit out of you.


    ¡°Are you done staring?¡± she asked me.


    I shook my head. ¡°Just a little longer, please¡±


    I leaned on my staff and continued to stare. Her midsection was toned and her tits were just like Sigyn¡¯s in her blonde form, for a second I even thought she might even be the goddess.


    ¡°Done, yet?¡± she asked with a smirk enjoying my attention. I looked up from admiring her legs and nodded. ¡°Now, I am.¡± I gave her a small smile as a thank you.


    ¡°What only a smile? Aren¡¯t you going to wash yourself too? You do realize you stink, right?¡±


    Ah well no good deed goes unpunished.


    I took off my robe and got closer to her, the fire barely reached this area of the camp so I couldn¡¯t really enjoy her figure, like I¡¯ve said before my eyesight is not what it used to be. I don¡¯t know if she was smiling, scowling or enjoying my figure but I knew I wasn¡¯t bad off. Working every morning on a farm kept your muscles wiry and carrying loads of olives to my house always kept me fit.


    I knew I was fitter at seventeen when I had arrived at Fincas Nosu, but eating olives and pigs almost every day had its perks and its downside.


    My dinners were always tasty, but I had to work harder to keep my body in shape.


    ¡°It¡¯s really disconcerting seeing a man with no hair.¡± The blonde naked woman told me as I poured melted ice on my body.


    ¡°I know¡­ I hadn¡¯t called upon fire in a long time, I was actually liking having long hair.¡±


    ¡°You don¡¯t look that bad¡± she said cocking her head to the side.


    Not being one to lose an opportunity to flatter I replied in kind ¡°You don¡¯t look half bad yourself either.¡±


    She gave me a rude gesture with her hand, as was her way, and I gave her a small smile as a reward.


    ¡°So what did you want to tell me about Samuela?¡± I asked her as she put her clothes back on to fight the cold of the night.The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°Our dear Samuela there¡­¡± she pointed towards the sleeping woman ¡°¡­is the reason why we came looking for you. She has a god speaking to her every day and even though he rarely appears he is always following her. The rest of the party has seen him a few times but he seldom pays us a visible visit. Samuela says he¡¯s always floating around us but we usually never see him.¡±


    Since the gods had descended upon us crazy stuff had been happening so I didn¡¯t doubt there was a god walking around me now probably eaves dropping at my conversation with Cora.


    ¡°Do you know the god¡¯s name?¡± I asked trying to find the god, wherever he was around us.


    ¡°Samuela, says his name is Hermes.¡± I shouted some obscenities towards the invisible god to see if he would do something but nothing happened.


    ¡°And what does he tell her?¡±


    ¡°You should ask her, I really don¡¯t pay attention to that, I am here to fight and help the party with other issues.¡± I nodded but the reason I¡¯d come to her side was to find out why Samuela was afraid of fire.


    ¡°So why is Samuela afraid of me?¡±


    ¡°When the gods appeared a woman by the name of Agneya descended upon her village and burned it down. Much like Loki appearing in your village, gods appeared in other towns and destroyed them. Other gods came looking for people with specific skills and Samuela was one of them. She stopped talking soon after. From what I¡¯ve heard from Alfar, who is the closest to her, there is another god named Agni trying to stop Hermes from achieving his goals through Samuela. Having you alive and with us is a great coup to bring back the Mount of Olives.¡±


    Again, I had no idea what this people were talking about but I would go along with the group as long as they didn¡¯t head east.


    My family made their home towards the sun, meaning the East, and for ten years I had avoided them. If they so much as smelled me in their vicinity the ass kicking would be monumental. The group was pretty hell bent on going north and from what I¡¯d heard from the adventurers coming through my fields the month before, there were opportunities to be found farther in the mountains.


    I wasn¡¯t sure the environment would be the most ideal for my olives, but pigs could live almost anywhere.


    ¡°This is very helpful information.¡± I lied.


    I don¡¯t think she believed me, as she left for her sleeping area next to the fire she told me ¡°Next time you have a naked woman in front of you, you should try to do something about it.¡±


    ¡°Weren¡¯t we here to have a serious conversation?¡± I shot back.


    ¡°With the way you look you should take every opportunity you get.¡±


    I put both of my hands on my bald head and let her know how I would screw the leaving life out her next time I saw her naked. She flipped me the finger and flashed her tits as she left. I really liked blondes.


    I passed again by the men playing cards and I could see things hadn¡¯t changed since I¡¯d last left them playing.


    ¡°Aren¡¯t you tired of cheating them Dr¨®gar?¡±


    The rouge gave me a wink ¡°You just don¡¯t understand how to play the game Kami, care to take a sit and learn?¡±


    I saw the concentrated looks on the other participants and was sure I didn¡¯t want to participate in anything they were doing.


    ¡°You should play the Kodo and Hero Power¡± I told Alfar.


    He flipped me the finger. Dr¨®gar frowned at me.


    ¡°Did you and Cora learn in the same sign language school?¡± I asked Alfar.


    The leader of the group ignored me but Fulmar and Usok gave me the finger.


    I turned towards Dr¨®gar ¡°Are you feeling left out?¡±


    He gave me the finger too.


    That was more like it.

 Chapter 12

    I fell asleep with a smile on my face after antagonizing the group of men playing cards, if I was not getting laid then nobody would be happy tonight.


    Tomorrow was going to be a long day going down the mountain and according to Dr¨®gar we were close to finding other adventurers on the trail to Jesus¡¯s mountain.


    My bones felt like shattering when I awoke and I called upon fire to heat my body.


    ¡°You should really stop doing that¡± Cora told me as she cleared up the camp.


    ¡°Why?¡± I asked as I stretched my muscles from the morning rust.


    ¡°Your body hair will never grow back.¡±


    I looked at my hands and saw that effectively the little hairs that had grown back in the las few days had already disappeared. I would miss them.


    ¡°Better hairless than cold.¡±


    I made my way past her and went looking for Alfar and Dr¨®gar who were already set on leaving.


    ¡°Are you ready?¡± the leader of the group asked me.


    ¡°I am.¡±


    He grabbed his massive sword from the ground, put it across his back and yelled for the group to start moving. The going was slow due to Samuela who for all her good qualities wasn¡¯t much of an adventurer. The mountain began to lose the cold as we approached the bottom and Dr¨®gar was getting excited.


    ¡°If I am not mistaken in little less than an hour we¡¯ll arrive at another group of adventurers. Let¡¯s hope they have useful information.¡± The rogue continued forward without stopping and the rest of us just plodded along without many words being spoken. Just the way I liked it.


    Having the time to think as we walked I wondered about various things.


    I thought about Loki and his wife. What were they planning to do with our world? Before the mages opened the rift in the air I had never heard the name of any of these gods and now they were a part of our lives whether we wanted it or not. Maybe I¡¯d been asking the wrong questions to the group around me, I needed more information to understand what was happening to our world. Up until now I had just followed the group blindly because I had nothing better to do and was hoping they could lead me to a new place where I could farm. Maybe tonight I would ask more questions.


    We reached the bottom of the mountain in just about an hour and like Dr¨®gar had said before there was a camp of adventurers waiting.


    ¡°Well met!¡± Alfar greeted the camp from afar waving to let them know we came in peace.


    A small man with a thin mustache stood up from the adventurer¡¯s camp and greeted the tall man back.


    ¡°Well met stranger, may I ask what you are doing this far north?¡±


    The group of people behind him fidgeted with their weapons, as our party leaned on theirs.


    ¡°We were on our way to find Jesus¡¯ mountain, we were hoping you could help us with information.¡±


    The small man shook his head in disgust. ¡°What mountain? It was all a lie, we have been roaming this area for the past month and there has been no sign of any holy thing in a peak or cliff in the area. There is critical information missing on the papers or we have chosen the wrong side. Maybe we should try the east.¡±


    Alfar made a face ¡°Which messenger god guides you?¡± The small man turned and asked a woman to approach. The woman was like the man small and frail but with very kind eyes, at least that¡¯s what I thought until I saw she was blind. ¡°Turm, guides us through my daughter here.¡±


    The frail woman gave us a bow, how she could tell where we were facing is beyond me. Alfar turned to the small woman. ¡°And what does Turm say to you now?¡±If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it.


    The woman looked towards the sky and pointed towards me ¡°We should follow the farmer.¡±


    I did not appreciate the attention the group was bestowing upon me so I decided to step behind Alfar, he was big enough to hide me. Alfar ignored my childish action and asked Samuela. ¡°Does Hermes agree?¡±


    The mute woman drew a yes on the ground. Now everyone was looking at me.


    ¡°What?! You think I have any idea of what¡¯s happening here? A year ago I was a rich olive farmer, a couple of days ago I was locked up by a goddess getting whipped every day and I had hair. What I want is to plant my last fucking olive and begin my farm from scratch.¡±


    I put my staff on my back and feeling good about my outburst. The rest of the group looked at the mute and blind women for confirmation. The blind woman was the first to answer.


    ¡°Turm agrees with the farmer, we should begin his farm from scratch¡±


    ¡°Woah, Woah, Woah! Who said any of you were invited to my farm?¡± I had the undivided attention of both parties. ¡°I came along in this madness of a quest to find a suitable place for my olives, clearly the north is not it.¡±


    I dramatically pointed to myself ¡°I¡­.will be going south where the weather will allow my olives to flourish.¡± The mute woman interrupted me now writing on the dirt.


    ¡°No¡± she wrote. I looked at her with disbelief.


    ¡°What do you mean No?¡±


    She then wrote ¡°East¡± The blind woman nodded in agreement.


    ¡°Are you people crazy? I said I am going south.¡± I felt Alfar¡¯s hand on my back. ¡°The gods want you in the East famer, we will be going east.¡± I was kind of pissed now.


    ¡°Look you humongous piece of shit, you already saw how I burned the living crap out of three gods, you don¡¯t want to get me angry. If I say I am going south, I am going fucking south.¡±


    This did not sit well with any of the parties and everyone took their weapons out, I was calling upon fire when two gods appeared out of thin air.


    ¡°Stop this nonsense!¡± A skinny man with huge feet and winged shoes screamed our way. He was nothing compared to Loki and a lot smaller but he had the bearing of a god.


    ¡°Farmer don¡¯t you understand you are needed? The world is spiraling towards Chaos and you are here squabbling about east and south. The decision is final you are going east!¡±


    I used all the self-control in my body to not burn the living crap out of the god and asked through clenched teeth. ¡°Then pray tell dear god, why the FUCK did we come North?¡±


    Apparently the rest of the group was eager to know the answer to that question too, so they lowered their weapons and awaited the god¡¯s answer. The flying god gave a sheepish smile ¡°Well¡­ that was an honest mistake.¡±


    The other god who had just appeared but looked less powerful than the one that escorted our party decided to add his two cents ¡°As gods we are not infallible, and most of us didn¡¯t know each other before the rift to this world was open. The god named Jesus is clouded in mistery to all of us and like you we are gathering the clues from the scriptures that made their way to this world.¡±


    Hermes acknowledged the information and looked towards the heavens ¡°It is said that Jesus has the power to rival Zeus, and even though Zeus would be very helpful at this moment he is just frolicking around fucking every woman he meets. Like you, famer, my king has decided to ignore what is happening in the world and is just planting his seeds throughout the earth.¡±


    It took a while for me to process all this new information, this Zeus guy seemed like my type of guy. I gave a sigh of resignation and used my last line of defense, I whined ¡°But I realllyyyy don¡¯t want to go East!¡±


    My whining achieved nothing and Hermes addressed the group ¡°Turm and I will be following from a distance, we will communicate through Samuela and Lara.¡± The mute and blind women nodded in acceptance and I sulked my way to a tree. I caressed the little olive that hid in the recess of my robe and reminded myself that I would need to plant it soon or it would not be able to grow to a strong tree.


    Cora walked towards me and began a conversation I cared nothing about.


    ¡°It is unbecoming of a man to whine.¡±


    I smirked at her opinion of me ¡°Yeah well, it is unbecoming to force a man to do stuff he doesn¡¯t want to do. Especially when said man could burn the shit out everyone here¡±


    ¡°Are you going to act like a little girl for the rest of this quest?¡±


    I rummaged inside my cloak feigning to look for something and took out my hand giving her the finger.


    ¡°If you had any of that, you wouldn¡¯t be bitching about going east.¡±


    ¡°You know very well I have a dick¡± She gave me a small smile ¡°Yet I¡¯ve never seen you use it, now have I?¡±


    I grunted at the truth in those words and not wanting to give her the last laugh I kissed her, and fondled her ass just to be sure she understood who was boss.


    ¡°Everyone get ready!¡± I shouted ¡°We are going east!¡±


    Dr¨®gar came close to me ¡°And who made you leader of this party?¡±


    I gave him the finger and shouted at Samuela and her blind partner ¡°Didn''t the gods say follow the farmer?¡±


    Both girls nodded my way, I smirked at Dr¨®gar and Alfar. I saw Cora give me a small smile and I felt my stomach drop.


    I had no fucking idea on how to lead a party, I was just a farmer.

 Chapter 12

    I fell asleep with a smile on my face after antagonizing the group of men playing cards, if I was not getting laid then nobody would be happy tonight.


    Tomorrow was going to be a long day going down the mountain and according to Dr¨®gar we were close to finding other adventurers on the trail to Jesus¡¯s mountain.


    My bones felt like shattering when I awoke and I called upon fire to heat my body.


    ¡°You should really stop doing that¡± Cora told me as she cleared up the camp.


    ¡°Why?¡± I asked as I stretched my muscles from the morning rust.


    ¡°Your body hair will never grow back.¡±


    I looked at my hands and saw that effectively the little hairs that had grown back in the las few days had already disappeared. I would miss them.


    ¡°Better hairless than cold.¡±


    I made my way past her and went looking for Alfar and Dr¨®gar who were already set on leaving.


    ¡°Are you ready?¡± the leader of the group asked me.


    ¡°I am.¡±


    He grabbed his massive sword from the ground, put it across his back and yelled for the group to start moving. The going was slow due to Samuela who for all her good qualities wasn¡¯t much of an adventurer. The mountain began to lose the cold as we approached the bottom and Dr¨®gar was getting excited.


    ¡°If I am not mistaken in little less than an hour we¡¯ll arrive at another group of adventurers. Let¡¯s hope they have useful information.¡± The rogue continued forward without stopping and the rest of us just plodded along without many words being spoken. Just the way I liked it.


    Having the time to think as we walked I wondered about various things.


    I thought about Loki and his wife. What were they planning to do with our world? Before the mages opened the rift in the air I had never heard the name of any of these gods and now they were a part of our lives whether we wanted it or not. Maybe I¡¯d been asking the wrong questions to the group around me, I needed more information to understand what was happening to our world. Up until now I had just followed the group blindly because I had nothing better to do and was hoping they could lead me to a new place where I could farm. Maybe tonight I would ask more questions.


    We reached the bottom of the mountain in just about an hour and like Dr¨®gar had said before there was a camp of adventurers waiting.


    ¡°Well met!¡± Alfar greeted the camp from afar waving to let them know we came in peace.


    A small man with a thin mustache stood up from the adventurer¡¯s camp and greeted the tall man back.


    ¡°Well met stranger, may I ask what you are doing this far north?¡±


    The group of people behind him fidgeted with their weapons, as our party leaned on theirs.


    ¡°We were on our way to find Jesus¡¯ mountain, we were hoping you could help us with information.¡±


    The small man shook his head in disgust. ¡°What mountain? It was all a lie, we have been roaming this area for the past month and there has been no sign of any holy thing in a peak or cliff in the area. There is critical information missing on the papers or we have chosen the wrong side. Maybe we should try the east.¡±


    Alfar made a face ¡°Which messenger god guides you?¡± The small man turned and asked a woman to approach. The woman was like the man small and frail but with very kind eyes, at least that¡¯s what I thought until I saw she was blind. ¡°Turm, guides us through my daughter here.¡±


    The frail woman gave us a bow, how she could tell where we were facing is beyond me. Alfar turned to the small woman. ¡°And what does Turm say to you now?¡±Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.


    The woman looked towards the sky and pointed towards me ¡°We should follow the farmer.¡±


    I did not appreciate the attention the group was bestowing upon me so I decided to step behind Alfar, he was big enough to hide me. Alfar ignored my childish action and asked Samuela. ¡°Does Hermes agree?¡±


    The mute woman drew a yes on the ground. Now everyone was looking at me.


    ¡°What?! You think I have any idea of what¡¯s happening here? A year ago I was a rich olive farmer, a couple of days ago I was locked up by a goddess getting whipped every day and I had hair. What I want is to plant my last fucking olive and begin my farm from scratch.¡±


    I put my staff on my back and feeling good about my outburst. The rest of the group looked at the mute and blind women for confirmation. The blind woman was the first to answer.


    ¡°Turm agrees with the farmer, we should begin his farm from scratch¡±


    ¡°Woah, Woah, Woah! Who said any of you were invited to my farm?¡± I had the undivided attention of both parties. ¡°I came along in this madness of a quest to find a suitable place for my olives, clearly the north is not it.¡±


    I dramatically pointed to myself ¡°I¡­.will be going south where the weather will allow my olives to flourish.¡± The mute woman interrupted me now writing on the dirt.


    ¡°No¡± she wrote. I looked at her with disbelief.


    ¡°What do you mean No?¡±


    She then wrote ¡°East¡± The blind woman nodded in agreement.


    ¡°Are you people crazy? I said I am going south.¡± I felt Alfar¡¯s hand on my back. ¡°The gods want you in the East famer, we will be going east.¡± I was kind of pissed now.


    ¡°Look you humongous piece of shit, you already saw how I burned the living crap out of three gods, you don¡¯t want to get me angry. If I say I am going south, I am going fucking south.¡±


    This did not sit well with any of the parties and everyone took their weapons out, I was calling upon fire when two gods appeared out of thin air.


    ¡°Stop this nonsense!¡± A skinny man with huge feet and winged shoes screamed our way. He was nothing compared to Loki and a lot smaller but he had the bearing of a god.


    ¡°Farmer don¡¯t you understand you are needed? The world is spiraling towards Chaos and you are here squabbling about east and south. The decision is final you are going east!¡±


    I used all the self-control in my body to not burn the living crap out of the god and asked through clenched teeth. ¡°Then pray tell dear god, why the FUCK did we come North?¡±


    Apparently the rest of the group was eager to know the answer to that question too, so they lowered their weapons and awaited the god¡¯s answer. The flying god gave a sheepish smile ¡°Well¡­ that was an honest mistake.¡±


    The other god who had just appeared but looked less powerful than the one that escorted our party decided to add his two cents ¡°As gods we are not infallible, and most of us didn¡¯t know each other before the rift to this world was open. The god named Jesus is clouded in mistery to all of us and like you we are gathering the clues from the scriptures that made their way to this world.¡±


    Hermes acknowledged the information and looked towards the heavens ¡°It is said that Jesus has the power to rival Zeus, and even though Zeus would be very helpful at this moment he is just frolicking around fucking every woman he meets. Like you, famer, my king has decided to ignore what is happening in the world and is just planting his seeds throughout the earth.¡±


    It took a while for me to process all this new information, this Zeus guy seemed like my type of guy. I gave a sigh of resignation and used my last line of defense, I whined ¡°But I realllyyyy don¡¯t want to go East!¡±


    My whining achieved nothing and Hermes addressed the group ¡°Turm and I will be following from a distance, we will communicate through Samuela and Lara.¡± The mute and blind women nodded in acceptance and I sulked my way to a tree. I caressed the little olive that hid in the recess of my robe and reminded myself that I would need to plant it soon or it would not be able to grow to a strong tree.


    Cora walked towards me and began a conversation I cared nothing about.


    ¡°It is unbecoming of a man to whine.¡±


    I smirked at her opinion of me ¡°Yeah well, it is unbecoming to force a man to do stuff he doesn¡¯t want to do. Especially when said man could burn the shit out everyone here¡±


    ¡°Are you going to act like a little girl for the rest of this quest?¡±


    I rummaged inside my cloak feigning to look for something and took out my hand giving her the finger.


    ¡°If you had any of that, you wouldn¡¯t be bitching about going east.¡±


    ¡°You know very well I have a dick¡± She gave me a small smile ¡°Yet I¡¯ve never seen you use it, now have I?¡±


    I grunted at the truth in those words and not wanting to give her the last laugh I kissed her, and fondled her ass just to be sure she understood who was boss.


    ¡°Everyone get ready!¡± I shouted ¡°We are going east!¡±


    Dr¨®gar came close to me ¡°And who made you leader of this party?¡±


    I gave him the finger and shouted at Samuela and her blind partner ¡°Didn''t the gods say follow the farmer?¡±


    Both girls nodded my way, I smirked at Dr¨®gar and Alfar. I saw Cora give me a small smile and I felt my stomach drop.


    I had no fucking idea on how to lead a party, I was just a farmer.

 Chapter 13

    It took me less than an hour to realize I didn¡¯t want to be the leader of the party so I graciously relinquished the power back to Alfar who then had a conversation with the small man with a moustache and decided that Alfar would be the one leading us all.


    Our group had increased in numbers, now we were ten, and if you counted the two invisible messenger gods who apparently were still roaming around us, we were twelve. I was getting to know more people in the last few days than I¡¯d met in my entire life.


    The small man with a mustache was named Filio, he was the leader of a party that had lost four men before we¡¯d arrived there.


    ¡°My sons died before we met you, other jealous adventurers trying to reach the mountain attacked us on our way here. We were making our way back to Azuma when you spotted us.¡±


    Dr¨®gar was having a conversation with Filio and I overheard as I walked up the mountain we had previously descended.


    My rogue companion asked the man ¡°And who are the women?¡± Filio turned around and pointed at each one. ¡°My blind daughter Lara you already know, the woman with the broken arm was my eldest son¡¯s wife Maria and the woman carrying the bow is Dara my oldest daughter.¡±


    I followed the mustachioed man¡¯s finger and could see that his wife had been a beautiful woman because the women looked nothing like the father.


    Tired of eavesdropping and tired of the walk that lay ahead I decided to drop back from the group where Fulmar and Usok were tailing the group.


    I was looking for good soil to plant my olive before it lost properties, the soil in the mountain was cold but it was rich in minerals that would help the plant grow strong. My only regret was that I had no bowl to plant the seed in.


    As if reading my mind Samuela and Lara appeared with a bowl in front of me.


    ¡°The gods tell us you are looking for this.¡± The blind woman told me as she handed me a bowl. I looked up at the empty air hating the fact that the gods could even read my mind. I shouted a mental fuck you to both of them hoping they could hear me, but I couldn¡¯t verify they did.


    I thanked both women for the bowl and began filling it with the best earth I¡¯d seen on our hike up the mountain. I grabbed some organic material from the nearby trees and mixed it all on my makeshift pot.


    I was lacking water and it would be essential for my little olive to grow, at times like these I wished to have my sister¡¯s powers, she could manage water like I could fire.Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.


    I covered the pot with a cloth and tied it to my waist hoping that the soil would not spill, once we were back at Fincas Nosu I would make a better home for the olive pit.


    We made camp that night on top of the mountain again, and I called upon fire to heat my tired bones. The men began another game of Haven Stone and I could see Dr¨®gar happy at the prospect of swindling a new man.


    The women gathered close to the fire and I fell asleep under a birch tree a little farther away from the group.


    I was woken up by the rustling of the leaves next to my sleeping body, I opened my eyes and saw the big figure of Cora lie next to me.


    ¡°To whom do I owe the pleasure of your company?¡± I asked the blonde woman who was trying her best to be quite. ¡°Shut up, farmer, the fire in the camp has gone low and I want to be warm.¡± She lowered herself next to me and nudged herself next to my body.


    ¡°Go on.¡± She looked directly at me ¡°Call upon fire and get me warm.¡± I frowned.


    ¡°What? When did I become your own private heat source?¡± She lowered her hand under my covers and grabbed my groin and asked me again in a very soothing voice ¡°Would you please call upon fire to keep me warm?¡±


    At this point I had other ideas on how to keep her warm. I copied her movement and put my hand under the covers as well and started exploring Cora¡¯s body under the blanket that covered us from the freezing mountain.


    ¡°Is this your way of calling upon fire?¡± she asked me as she enjoyed my touch on her body.


    ¡°It¡¯s one of the ways.¡± I answered quickly enjoying the moment.


    I could feel the heat of her breath next to my ear and I started kissing her neck, I saw the scar for a second time and I looked into her eyes, the scar only made her more beautiful.


    ¡°So are you going to get naked or just grope me all night?¡± I was tired of being ordered around but this order in particular made a lot of sense.


    I got naked and got to know Cora a lot better, for once in a very long time I felt warmth without calling fire.


    We woke up at the insistence of Dr¨®gar. ¡°You two should know that everyone heard your little escaped yesterday night!¡±


    We both gave him the finger and got up to greet the new day. I felt lighter than I had in years. And I let Cora know about it.


    ¡°If we keep getting warm this way, I won¡¯t lose my hair that often!¡± I said with a big smile towards the blonde woman. She slapped me across the head and gave me a small kiss. She made her way towards the camp to start packing for our second leg of the journey back to Fincas Nosu.


    ¡°You should be careful.¡± Dr¨®gar appeared next to me out of nowhere.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡± I asked the rogue.


    ¡°Cora is unhappily married, and her husband is very jealous, if I have to guess we¡¯ll be meeting him in Azuma when we reach the east.¡±


    I was floored by this information. ¡°What husband would let her woman out of his sight to follow a quest at the other end of the world?!¡±


    Dr¨®gar shook his head ¡°Who said anything about her being let go, she escaped.¡± He pointed at the back of the woman who had just spent the night with me. ¡°Meet wife number four of King Salim, Kurana Salim¡±


    I looked at Cora who was smiling my way oblivious to the conversation me and the rogue were having.


    If I¡¯ve ever said I liked blondes¡­. I take it back.

 Chapter 14

    My mood had worsened after the news of Cora, real name Kurana Salim, literally meaning Cora of Salim. I was still going to sleep with her, but I wasn¡¯t happy at the homecoming I¡¯d be receiving once we arrived at Azuna.


    My family lived there and now I was the lover of a Kings wife, not to mention some gods were trying to take over the world and it didn¡¯t help to find more adventurers when we descended the mountain and we were back to my little village.


    ¡°Stop right there!¡± a man dressed all in black yelled our way. Alfar took the lead ¡°What do you want traveler.¡± Our giant man yelled back at the obscured one.


    ¡°I came looking for the olive farmer, yet there are no fields here.¡± I again decided to hide behind Alfar¡¯s big frame, being this famous was not making me happy. Alfar ignored the statement from the black dressed man and asked a question of his own ¡°What god guides you?¡± the dark dressed man gave a sinister smile and dropped his hood. The face of an old man smiled back at us ¡°No god guides me, for I am the Black God of the Navajo and I guide myself¡±


    We looked at the two women with a direct connection to the gods for some information and the blind woman answered us. ¡°He is but an insignificant god, a fire god with no real power.¡± The god seemed hurt at the words.


    ¡°I am not insignificant!¡± he yelled back a little miffed. He looked straight at me ¡°Hmmm, I see you know Prometheus human. Are you perhaps the farmer?¡±


    I ignored the old man dressed in black and kept standing behind Alfar.


    ¡°Come on Kami! Move your ass!¡± my lover¡¯s hand pushed me to greet the god. ¡°What do you want man?¡± I asked annoyed.


    ¡°Prometheus let me know of your plight and I am here to give you this¡± He grabbed something from under his cloak and handed it to me. It was a canteen.


    ¡°A canteen?¡± I asked dumfounded


    ¡°Not just a canteen mortal, it¡¯s a canteen with endless water.¡± He gave me a wink ¡°For your tree¡­ we fire gods need to stick together.¡± He vanished at that instant and I shook the canteen but it seemed empty. I was past not believing things the gods said, if they said this was an endless water canteen, it probably was.


    I shrugged my way back to the rear of our party and kept walking. I took out the little bowl with my seed and watered it with the canteen, and just like the Black God had said water poured out.


    I couldn¡¯t disturb the seed even though I was hoping it had already sprouted roots but only time would tell if I would get my tree. I grabbed a pot from what used to be my home and I transplanted the seed to a better vessel. I grabbed a back pack, something I should have done since the beginning and put my plant inside it, I would have to walk with care or my tree would never truly grow.


    We kept walking and I did something I¡¯d never thought I¡¯d do eleven years ago, I crossed the invisible border of Fincas Nosu on my way back to Azuna, and unlike my first trip to the north I¡¯d be making my trip back accompanied by a lot of people.


    That day we walked for hours and I really didn¡¯t want the opportunity to talk with anybody, I was not the happiest of people at the time, so it was with reluctance that I accepted Samuela¡¯s company. At least she was a mute.


    ¡°What do you want?¡± I asked annoyed at her presence. She hit me on the arm with little strength.Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.


    I rubbed my arm where she hit me ¡°What was that for?¡±


    She grabbed a stick and wrote on the ground ¡°For being an asshole.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m an asshole? Why am I an asshole?¡± she took the stick again and wrote down ¡°You just are.¡±


    Having a conversation with this woman would take ages so I let her know about it. ¡°Don¡¯t you have any other means of conversation? Writing things down will take forever.¡± She threw her stick at me exasperated and grabbed my hand.


    ¡°Can you hear me?¡± The most beautiful voice I¡¯d ever heard echoed in my head.


    ¡°Yeah I can¡­¡± I said soothed by the voice. Then she started berating me.


    ¡°How could you go around sleeping with people you¡¯ve just met, weren¡¯t you supposed to be a solitary man. Then you go on a trip with a big titted blonde and sleep with her the first chance you get! I swear I don¡¯t kill you because we need you. I have no idea why Dr¨®gar or Alfar haven¡¯t kicked your ass yet. Yeah, Yeah, I can play with fire, I am a fire magician, I can burn gods, wu huu¡­while you sleep you can¡¯t burn shit. You better be happy I¡¯m a patient woman because If I weren¡¯t you¡¯d be full of bruises by now. And If I see you fucking Cora again I will throw a fit that will be heard by all the gods and their brothers, you hear me farmer! No fucking until I tell you!¡±


    I was silent for some time, I think my brain couldn¡¯t understand what had just happened.


    ¡°Ummm¡­.what just happened?¡± I asked the mute woman in front of me.


    ¡°Look you hairless freak, you just heard me, you can¡¯t fuck until I say so and you can only fuck whom I say you can. Alfar answers to me, he is not the leader of this party I am! Dr¨®gar answers to me! He is my brother and he is a little piece of shit just like you! Cora was my friend and I helped her escape. If someone is a god here is me! You got that?¡±


    Again my brain couldn¡¯t understand what was happening, what happened to the sweet little brunette woman who made me smile.


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you come from a village? Cora said you came from a village!¡± The little brunette woman became red as my robe.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to kick that blonde¡¯s ass, what village fool, I am a princess of Minami, I swear on your future grave that you make me this angry again I will have you killed.¡±


    ¡°What the fuck is happening woman? Who are you?¡± I couldn¡¯t understand what was happening. Everyone at the camp looked at me funny, I guess no one could hear our conversation but us. I looked at the woman taken aback and closed my eyes to process what had just happened.


    ¡°Need help?¡± I opened one of my eyes and saw Dr¨®gar standing in front of me.


    ¡°What just happened?¡±


    Dr¨®gar took out a bottle he had hidden under his cloak. It looked familiar somehow.


    ¡°Man did you take that from my house?¡± I asked the rogue.


    ¡°Well you weren¡¯t using it were you.¡± I nodded and held out my hand to take a drink.


    ¡°I guess you just met the real Samuela.¡± I nodded between drinks.


    ¡°Not what I expected, she swears with the best of them too.¡± He nodded in agreement.


    ¡°Sweet little Samuela is not what you expected, what did she tell you?¡±


    I gave back the bottle and told him what I remembered from the berating. ¡°I guess no fucking for me.¡±


    Dr¨®gar shook his head ¡°No fucking for no one, did you read all of the scriptures?¡± I shook my head.


    ¡°There is a part that says you shouldn¡¯t fuck if you are not married.¡± I opened my mouth in disbelief


    ¡°Who says that crap?¡±


    ¡°Jesus¡± The guy with the shitty name had already screwed my olive fields and now my opportunity to get laid during this trip.


    I grabbed the bottle and took another drink ¡°Well at least that makes more sense than her being jealous.¡±


    Dr¨®gar laid down on the ground to sleep ¡°Oh she is jealous alright! Why the hell would she care about fucking a farmer I don¡¯t understand, but she is jealous.¡±


    I raised my head to find Samuela sitting next to Cora and guessed she was getting berated as well. I shook my head in disbelief and fell asleep without further questions.


    I would miss Cora tonight, even if she was the wife of a King. How did the saying go, if it¡¯s in another village it¡¯s not cheating?

 Chapter 15

    ¡°There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, being rolled over by a pack mule, and old age.¡± BB paraphrasing


    We continued on our trip east and I got to know the party even better, Samuela was not the little frail lady I thought her to be, Alfar who I thought was the leader of the party was actually just a very big guard, Cora was an unhappy queen with a tendency of omitting important information and Dr¨®gar was Dr¨®gar.


    The other members of the party I didn¡¯t get to know very well because¡­ well because I didn¡¯t want to. The blind lady seemed nice but if experienced had showed me anything during this trip was that not everything was as it seemed.


    I remembered my trip coming from the East to the North and nothing had changed in the landscape, the trees were a little bit older and the fields were already barren because of the winter months. The big change was on the towns that greeted us on the way to Azuma, the people were mostly dead or close to starving. Small fires kept the population warm as they cowered at the presence of our company.


    I turned to Dr¨®gar who was the only sane person in the group according to me and asked him ¡°What is going on here?¡±


    Dr¨®gar flipped his daggers in the air and surveyed the landscape ¡°Like I told you farmer, the gods have been on a rampage across the world, some try to help the people, but there are not enough gods to fix the destruction brought by the others.¡±


    He stopped and pointed with his dagger to a small house with three people trying to mend a door. ¡°You see that?¡± he asked me.


    I nodded.


    ¡°It took a god less than a second to destroy that house, and it will take those three people half a year to rebuild it. It is easier to destroy than to mend.¡± I looked at the rogue with new eyes.


    ¡°Since when did you become so eloquent?¡± I asked him


    He gave me a roguish smile ¡°What else did you expect from a prince?¡± I smirked at his answer and kept walking with the party.


    We never stayed in the towns for fear of angering the people in it and having to kill innocents. Jealousy could spur people to make stupid decisions and seeing our group of travelers thriving in the desolation of the town would probably make them attack us for food or some other thing.


    From what I¡¯d heard from Filio and his daughters, Azuma was one of the last strongholds standing defending themselves from the gods. There was an internal war within the ranks of the gods and each faction tried to gain a foothold on specific locations so as to have a better position once the war began.


    That made me shiver inside, I looked at the devastation that surrounded us and thought that if the war hadn¡¯t yet started, what would happen if it ever began.


    I shook of the feeling of unease that invaded me, but it returned immediately when I heard. ¡°Ku Kuuuuuuuu!¡± I turned to see where the noise was coming from and yelled to the group. ¡°Hide! Loki is coming!¡± The group had no time to move and they were frozen to the ground next to me.


    Boom! Out of nowhere the giant body of Loki appeared before me. Mist rose from the ground and little icicles appeared next to my feet and the feet of my companions, they could only move their eyeballs.


    ¡°Hellooooo my little farmer¡­¡± he greeted me as he caressed my face with his long nails ¡°Why hasn¡¯t your hair grown back Kami? You looked so much better with hair.¡± I swung his hand away from my face and put my staff in front of me as a shield and called upon fire to warm myself.


    ¡°Tsk, tsk, tsk, why do you always treat me bad Kami?¡± The eyes of the god blazed and he appeared instantly in front of me, I jumped back and put my staff in front of me again.


    Loki gave me a surprised smile ¡°I didn¡¯t know you could move that fast, little Kami. I heard from a little birdy that you have an olive with you. Is this true Kami?¡± He circled around me like a lion stalking his prey.


    I decided not to answer and followed him around as he kept circling me. ¡°Kami, why aren¡¯t you answering me?¡± he pouted. I shivered inside at his pouting face. ¡°Fenrir, says he misses you, he actually liked you, but you¡¯ve chosen to follow Prometheus and his ilk so I have no choice but to kill you.¡±


    I was taken aback by his words ¡°What do you mean I¡¯ve decided to follow Prometheus? I have never seen that guy. As a matter of fact I don¡¯t like any of you, specially that guy named Jesus. Going around telling people when to fuck and not to fuck.¡±


    Loki stopped circling me and seemed genuinely confused ¡°I don¡¯t understand¡­ then why have you been fighting us all this time? We are trying to stop the coming of Jesus, we should be on the same side!¡±


    I looked at him exasperated ¡°What are you talking about you destroyed my olive fields!! The only thing I¡¯m fighting for is my fucking olive fields! By the way you also killed my pigs!¡±


    Understanding dawned on the effeminate god and he started circling me again talking to himself ¡°So you aren¡¯t trying to bring forth Jesus, you are just trying to plant your olives. But we can¡¯t let you plant your olives or else, others who do want to bring back that hippie god will take advantage of it. This is something we¡¯ll have to talk in the council, the farmer is a capable magician and it would be a waste to kill him for wanting to farm, he would make a great slave. But then again, he can¡¯t farm olives, he could maybe farm something else?¡±


    Loki decided to finish his monologue to himself and asked me ¡°Would you be willing to give me your last olive and farm something else?¡±


    The question hung in the air heavily and I knew this answer would change the course of my life forever.


    Would I be willing to farm something else, this question implied a lot, the gods would stop harassing me and I would be free of this quest, I would probably be able to negotiate a big piece of land and nobody would bother me. Yes the world would be gone to shit and lots of people would die, but it wouldn¡¯t be me.


    My companions were still frozen by Loki and I could see their eyeballs talking to me.Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.


    Samuela¡¯s eyes were saying ¡°Say yes and I¡¯ll kill you hairless peasant!¡± I looked directly at her and told her. ¡°That attitude won¡¯t help your cause princess!¡±


    Alfar¡¯s eyes were saying ¡°Do as my princess commands or I¡¯ll kill you!¡± I looked directly at him and told him ¡°Repeating what your princess said won¡¯t help either!¡±


    Cora¡¯s eyes were saying ¡°Be a man you spineless farmer, protect what is yours!¡± I looked directly at her and told her. ¡°I am protecting what is mine! Farming!¡±


    Dr¨®gar¡¯s eyes were rolling around in his head mocking me. I gave him the finger.


    The other party that had joined us had pleading eyes. None of this was helping me make a decision. So I decided to dig deeper.


    I told Loki ¡°Let¡¯s say I¡¯m considering your proposal¡­ what would I be able to farm?¡± The god thought for a moment. ¡°How about broccoli?¡±


    I gawked at the idea ¡°Broccoli, fuck that, what else?¡± The god was clearly losing his patience.


    ¡°Look here mortal, I am giving you a chance to survive and you are squabbling about broccoli?¡± He showered me with pain as cold sweeped all over my body and I called upon fire again to warm me.


    I was getting angry at everyone threating me, the only sensible people were Filio and his daughters.


    ¡°Do you think this is an easy decision? On the one hand I have you, the asshole who destroyed my fields and who held me in captivity for almost a year, on the other hand I have Jesus and his barbaric views! I think you can understand when I say I¡¯m in a lose-lose situation here!¡±


    Loki sighed ¡°Why do all farmers have to be so difficult?...Time is up, you were going to die either way!¡±


    I grabbed my staff and yelled for fire, my body burned and the onslaught of ice that showered me melted away at my touch. I moved forward and attacked Loki with my staff, it had been years since I¡¯d last used it and it felt sloppy in my hands. He grabbed it and yanked it from my grasp, unluckily for me my grip was rather strong so I was carried in the air and thrown ten meters away still holding my staff. I stood up and gathered the flames in the palm of my hands and sent them flying towards the god.


    ¡°Why do you fight farmer? You will die either way.¡± Loki approached me and froze my feet to the ground, he started pounding my head and body with blows that felt like boulders, I tried my best to breathe through the onslaught but I couldn¡¯t.


    I passed out on my feet.


    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    ¡°Hello again!¡± came the unusually happy voice of the flaming bush. ¡°Back so soon?¡±


    I oriented myself in the void and sighed in resignation ¡°What the fuck am I doing here again?¡±


    The flaming bush pondered the question for a second and answered me ¡°I have no idea, I can¡¯t see much from inside the void, I can only feel your life force. What were you up to outside?¡±


    I strained to remember and I recalled what was happening ¡°I am fighting Loki outside.¡± The flaming bush answered annoyed ¡°And what are you doing about it?¡±


    ¡°What do you mean what am I doing about it, I am here talking to you aren¡¯t I, I¡¯m probably dead already.¡±


    The flaming bush corrected me ¡°You are not dead, if you¡¯d be dead I¡¯d know.¡±


    ¡°And how would you know? Do you live inside me or something?¡± The bush pondered the question. ¡°No I don¡¯t think I live inside you but every time you call upon fire I am within you.¡±


    ¡°So if I am not dead, what is happening outside?¡± The bush flamed up a little, I think I was annoying him


    ¡°Didn¡¯t I tell you I don¡¯t know, I can¡¯t see!¡± The bush started burning brighter and I could see outside the void again. My body was lying on the floor and Cora was trying to revive me, Samuela was healing the rest of the group and the blind woman was crying. I didn¡¯t know blind people could cry.


    ¡°So what now?¡± I asked the bush. If a bush could shrug it probably did and answered me ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡±


    I looked at the flaming bush annoyed ¡°You really are a useless bush!¡±


    The flaming bush took offense at that ¡°And you are a useless wielder, when are you going to start using fire properly?¡±


    It was true, I hadn¡¯t called upon fire in the last eleven years and now I was doing it daily.


    ¡°This was not my choice! I was happy being a farmer, why the hell do I have to learn again what I¡¯ve forced myself to forget?¡±


    ¡°Stop whining and man up! Like I told you the last time you came here. Burn it all and start a new!¡±


    I was reluctant to listen to the bush, but he had a point. ¡°You sound just like Cora¡±


    ¡°Who¡¯s Cora?¡± I shook my head in resignation. ¡°No one bush.¡± I looked around to see if there was a door to leave this place but I found none.


    ¡°So how do I leave the void?...Wait don¡¯t tell me¡­you don¡¯t know!¡± If a bush could give the finger it was probably doing it right now.


    I remembered the last time I was here and I decided to yell for fire, it burned me, but it didn¡¯t matter I could feel myself reappearing on the other side.


    ¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­¡­


    ¡°Stop that you stupid farmer!!!¡± I could hear Cora yelling. I opened my eyes and saw I had burned a huge hole where I was lying.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be such a baby it is only fire!¡± I told the woman rolling on the floor.


    She stood up and asked me ¡°How are you not dead?!¡± I had no answer for that because I myself didn¡¯t know. I gave her a small shrug and asked them what had happened.


    Dr¨®gar answered for the group ¡°Loki froze us all and then you started fighting him, when you tried to call upon fire he trapped you to the ground and suffocated you. You should be dead. Loki left after he checked your pulse, he stole your olive.¡±


    I closed my eyes and felt anger that I hadn¡¯t felt in eleven years my last olive had been stolen and I¡¯d been left for dead.


    I thought about what had happened in the void and I turned to Samuela to ask ¡°I need to learn how to use my magic again.¡± For the first time I saw Samuela¡¯s genuine smile, she came close to me and touched my arm.


    ¡°Does this mean you are joining our side of the fight!?¡±  She asked me with genuine enthusiasm.


    I shook my head ¡°I¡¯m on no one¡¯s side, but if my choices help your side then so be it. I am only here to bring back my olive farm, and next time I want to burn the shit out of Loki¡± I could sense her disappointment through our mental link


    ¡°You fucking farmer, how can you get my hopes up so quickly and then bring them down, I was even thinking of letting you touch me! No fucking for you ever!!¡±


    I sighed at her outburst ¡°Whatever woman, but my path follows yours now.¡± I looked up at the sky and shouted ¡°Come out you little winged freaks! Hermes, Turm!!¡±


    Fire was gathering all over my body and my hairless state was becoming kind of permanent ¡°Why the fuck did you not help us when Loki arrived!?¡± The two gods appeared out of thin air and Hermes stammered ¡°We are just me-me-messenger Gods, there is nothing we can do against Loki.¡± I shook my head in disgust. ¡°Where did he take my olive!?¡±


    The gods looked at each other with renounced faces ¡°He has already destroyed it.¡± I felt part of my soul crumble as I heard these words.


    ¡°But¡­¡± my heart felt a glimmer of hope as the god with big feet continued ¡°there is another party guided by Mercury, they also have an olive farmer with them and more than one seed from what he¡¯s told us. They will be arriving at Azuma tomorrow. We¡¯ve already contacted them. They will be waiting for you.¡±


    I smiled, there was still hope for my fields.


    I hugged Samuela with all my might and kissed her square on the lips. This won me a kick from Cora and a menacing look from Alfar, oddly enough no mental berating¡¯s came from the mute woman.


    Lara the blind woman interrupted us all ¡°Turm tells me we have little time to catch the other group, we should be leaving soon.¡±


    For the first time since this trip began I was glad we were going east.

 Chapter 16

    We arrived at the doorsteps of the last remaining stronghold of humankind, or so the god messengers told us. The stone walls that defended Azuma were full of soldiers with their eyes on the sky and others patrolling the perimeter.


    It had been a year since the gods had appeared in our world and all that was left was my birthplace, my sister and father would probably still be alive. I wasn¡¯t really loved in Azuma. Hopefully the people had already forgotten me after eleven years.


    Security was heavy at the entrance and our mute princess, followed by our blind companion, announced our arrival. ¡°Open the gate soldiers, we come with haste to find the travelers of Mercury!¡±


    The soldiers began moving restlessly trying to find their commander, after a few minutes a small door on the gigantic wooden gate opened and a small man came out. ¡°Which messenger gods guide you?¡± he asked confidently knowing that at his back were hundreds of armed soldiers pointing arrows at our group.


    Lara answered ¡°I am guided by Turm and Samuela princess of Minami is guided by Hermes!¡±


    Gossip began on the ramparts of the stronghold, a princess had come all the way to Azuma. The commander wasn¡¯t as convinced as the soldiers behind him.


    ¡°We haven¡¯t had travelers come through this gate in more than two months, how did your party of misfits manage to make your way here?¡±


    Samuela looked confused and relayed a message to Lara so she could ask a question ¡°Samuela would like you to explain. What do you mean you haven¡¯t had travelers come through in a month, our gods have told us that a group with a farmer crossed this very gate not long ago?¡±


    The commander gave our group another look and answered ¡°That group was five hundred men strong, guided by a powerful god and lost around three hundred men before they got to our gates. When they arrived they were bloodied and hurt. Your group seems far too healthy.¡±


    The commander made some sense, apparently all the humans were dying and here we were ten random people asking to come inside the last remaining stronghold on earth without a scratch on us.


    It helped a lot that Samuela was a very good healing magician.


    Lara called upon Turm and Hermes and the gods appeared ¡°Let us through commander, Prometheus will be waiting for us and we have a farmer that could aid in our troubles.¡±


    I hated the gods every time they used my profession, I was trying to hide behind Alfar when the commander yelled. ¡°What farmer?!¡±


    My group of so called companions pointed towards me and the commander took a closer look and opened his eyes as wide as humanly possible. ¡°IT¡¯S THE FIEND!!¡± he yelled as he ran back towards the castle ¡°CALL GENERAL TOBIAS!! THE FIEND IS BACK!!¡±


    I hung my head in resignation, time to meet father. My traveling companions had dumbfounded looks on their faces.


    ¡°What?!¡± I asked them, as even the gods looked at me strangely. Dr¨®gar came close to me and whispered ¡°I think everyone wants to know what just happened.¡±


    No shit I thought to myself. I looked at everyone ¡°Let¡¯s just pretend nothing happened, at least we¡¯ll get in pretty quickly now!¡± I said feigning enthusiasm.


    After thirty minutes of being ogled by the people on the ramparts and my own companions my father opened the gate and came marching with twenty guards at his side.


    ¡°What are you doing here Kami?¡± his gruff voice hadn¡¯t changed at all, he now had gray scattered across his beard but his long black hair remained unchanged.Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    ¡°Why are you asking me, I came here because this people brought me here.¡± My father studied the group around me.


    ¡°You are not welcome here son, you know that.¡± This man was too square for his own good, the world was coming to an end and he still didn¡¯t want to let me inside the fortress. At least he had called me son.


    ¡°I think old laws shouldn¡¯t apply anymore don¡¯t you think father?¡± I said pointing at the desolation around us.


    He shook his head.


    ¡°Just because the world has spiraled into Chaos does not mean that laws and traditions should be set aside, you shunned your King, your country and your family when you left us. We had hopes for you and you destroyed them when you departed. The King will be here shortly. He will decide what to do with you.¡±


    He turned to look at the rest of the party and told them to stand at his side. Fulmar, Usok and Filio¡¯s family except Lara moved next to my father but everyone else stayed next to me. Filio urged her blind daughter to walk to his side but she reneged and stayed beside me.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± I whispered to the people behind me. ¡°You should move to the other side, right now I have no idea if I am safe at all.¡±


    The group didn¡¯t make a move and I sighed in resignation. We had to wait another thirty minutes for the King to arrive and I was tired of walking so I sat on the ground.


    ¡°Rise Kami!¡± I heard my father order me. ¡°The King is here.¡± I took my time to stand up, it wasn¡¯t like I¡¯d be going anywhere anytime soon. Surprise suddenly hit me when I saw a young man instead of an old one receiving our group. I looked around for Alfar, I would need to hide behind him again!


    Just like my father moments before the King surveyed our group. When his eyes fell on Cora he spoke for the first time ¡°How dare you show your face here woman?¡±


    We all turned to look at Cora and she defied the king with her stare.


    Samuela raised her hand and asked Hermes to talk for her ¡°Princess Samuela wishes to ask for forgiveness, It was her who liberated Cora from your harem. We needed her skill for the voyage and Azuma was being attacked by the gods. We had no time to ask formally for her help.¡± The king spat on the ground.


    ¡°What skill? She is nothing more than a fourth wife!¡± I took this opportunity to hide behind Alfar, not only was the King pissed that I was back, but I had unfortunately fucked his wife, and me and the man had a lot of history together.


    The flying god answered ¡°Kurana Salim is one of the best fighters in the land and our voyage needed warriors. King I am sorry for the offense, but we bring her back without a blemish.¡±


    Again I had fucked his wife.


    The King thought of this for a while and nodded once ¡°We are not in a position to be squabbling about petty issues such as this, when the war is over we will revise these issues. For now all is forgiven.¡±


    His eyes fell upon Alfar and ordered him to move. I was again the center of attention.


    ¡°Fiend, it¡¯s been a while.¡± I walked up to my old friend and asked ¡°Since when do you call yourself Salim?¡± I gave him my hand and he didn¡¯t take it.


    ¡°Since when do you call yourself a farmer?¡± he questioned back. We stood there for what felt like ages without saying a word.


    ¡°You look like a diseased new born baby.¡± He said of my hairless appearance.


    ¡°I fucked your wife.¡± I said pointing towards Cora, his lips turned into a smile.


    ¡°I fucked your sister, she is my first wife.¡± I smiled in return.


    ¡°Did she open the rift?¡± The King¡¯s smile faded away. ¡°No, but some of her dumb friends did, I cut their balls and had them bleed to death in the square.¡±


    I grimaced at my friend¡¯s ruthlessness. ¡°Are you sure I¡¯m the fiend?¡± he put a hand on my shoulder ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sure it is you.¡±


    The King turned to my father ¡°General Tobias, I¡¯ve known Kami for a long time I was there when he decided to leave my father and you. Chain him for now and bring him to the palace. As for the rest of you¡± he pointed at my companions. ¡°You are needed at the council tonight, we will expect you.¡±


    The King left us there without another word. My father came closer and whispered to me ¡°You are very lucky son.¡± I looked at my father and said something I thought I would never say ¡°It is good to see you father.¡±


    Cora came close to me before I was chained and asked me ¡°What did you tell my husband? You knew him from before?¡± I sighed as I remember our times at the academy. ¡°Yeah he used to be a friend, maybe he can be one again.¡±


    Cora squinted at me ¡°Yeah but what did you tell him to make him smile?¡±


    ¡°I told him that I had fucked you.¡± Cora was left there standing with her mouth open as I was chained and escorted towards the castle.


    I needed to convince Salim to let me go so I could train magic again, I had forced myself to forget all that I had learned but now I needed it back.


    I had a god to kill and some trees to grow.

 Chapter 17

    It had been a while since I¡¯d been imprisoned by Loki¡¯s wife and it sure felt worse being imprisoned under a castle without the expectation of a sexy goddess coming to torture you from time to time. So I was surprised and happy when I saw Cora being shoved into the cell with me.


    ¡°Helloooo¡­¡± I said to my clearly unhappy guest.


    ¡°You sorry excuse of a human¡­. Why did you have to go and tell my husband you fucked me!!?¡± She wailed at me from the corner of the cell. I was glad she hadn¡¯t approached me, from what I¡¯d heard she was a formidable fighter. I shrugged my shoulders, like I usually do.


    ¡°He acted like an asshole.¡± I answered in response.


    ¡°He has the right to be an asshole, he is the fucking king!¡± she said as she punched the wall.


    ¡°You shouldn¡¯t hit walls, they usually win after a while.¡±


    The seething woman came running up to me and punched me in the face ¡°Shut up!!!¡± she slumped to the floor and closed her eyes as she breathed heavily.


    I clearly deserved that. ¡°I¡¯m sorry Cora, but what are you doing in my cell?¡±


    She rolled her eyes at me ¡°What do you think dumbass?¡± I pondered for a second and gave my best guess ¡°I imagine it has something to do with having fucked you?¡±


    The woman looked at me with scorn ¡°You think?¡± I sat down next to her without fear of being punched. I was really bad at telling the mood of people around me, but I had a feeling that she needed comforting. I started patting her head like I used to do with Shadow when Loki left after a visit.


    ¡°What the fuck are you doing?¡± Cora asked me, I ignored her and kept patting her head. I guess she gave up on being angry at me because she nuzzled into my arm. ¡°You are still a dumbass.¡± She said as she closed her eyes.


    I gave her a small kiss on the forehead and replied ¡°I know.¡±


    I was expecting we would have sex that night, but clearly women don¡¯t find cellar floors attractive because I got nothing, what I did get was an explanation.


    ¡°After you were sent to the dungeons Samuela and I were taken to the King along with some others. Your sister was there, I hate that bitch.¡±


    I nodded because I understood her.


    ¡°She mocked us for believing that you are the answer to liberate us from the gods.¡±


    I nodded because for the first time my sister and I agreed with something.


    ¡°Salim is planning a strategy with Prometheus and some other gods to fight once the war starts. Belief in the scriptures is at an all-time low, and even our messenger gods agree with the King¡¯s plan. We have at least some powerful deities among us and a fight seems inevitable.¡±


    I nodded because I really didn¡¯t care, I tried putting my hand around her waist but she pushed it back.


    ¡°Are you even listening dumbass?¡±


    I nodded because I thought it was appropriate.


    ¡°After the meeting Salim noticed me and divorced me on the spot, now that all has gone to hell there is no need for legal procedures.¡±


    I shook my head. ¡°My father would not agree with that.¡± Cora smirked at me.


    ¡°He didn¡¯t, but then Salim told your father what you told him and he agreed with the King.¡±


    I nodded because that made sense.


    ¡°So I was brought down here to keep you company. They won¡¯t kill me because they need my skills for the upcoming fight.¡±


    I put my hand around her waist to let her know I understood.


    ¡°Kami what the hell are you doing?¡± I gave her my best dumbfounded look. ¡°I am trying to console you!¡±


    She hesitated for a second ¡°Are you sure you are not trying to get into my pants?¡±


    I hesitated¡­ a big mistake. Luckily for me, sounds came from the door to the dungeon and both of us put our heads against the bars that imprisoned us.


    Cora yelled ¡°Let us out! We are here to help you.¡± In front of us were the King, Samuela, Dr¨®gar and a group of four people.


    The King spoke to us ¡°Hello Kami, how¡¯s my ex-wife treating you?¡± I looked over at Cora


    ¡°Not as nicely as I would have wanted, actually.¡± Cora slapped my head and started yelling at me.


    ¡°Quite!!¡± yelled the king. ¡°You still don¡¯t know how to read the mood do you Kami?¡± I shrugged at his question. He kept on talking. ¡°Anyways, the four people you see before us are part of the other party with a farmer. The others you already know.¡±


    I looked over at Samuela and Dr¨®gar and gave them a small nod.


    The King introduced the others, I had only eyes for the man they called a Farmer.


    ¡°The one with the big backpack is Sunder, he is the other olive farmer still alive, or so the gods tell us.¡±


    The farmer called Sunder came close to the bars ¡°Hello famer, I¡¯ve been told you lost your last olive.¡± I grimaced at his words.


    ¡°Loki, took it from me.¡± He shook his head at my response. ¡°How could you be so careless!? A true farmer takes care of his crops!¡±


    I didn¡¯t understand why I was getting berated by the farmer. ¡°What is it to you that I lost my olive?! From what I hear you have plenty more. I could help you!¡± I begged from the confines of my cell. The others watched us with curiosity.Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°It is unpardonable at this moment in time to lose that which could save us!¡± Sunder replied back.


    I looked for words to answer back ¡°I tell you Sunder, we were attacked by gods and we were a small party, mostly women!¡± The farmer seemed displeased at my response. ¡°You are the type of farmer I hate the most.¡± He said with disdain ¡°You only give excuses for your short comings, your fields were doomed to die with a farmer like you around.¡±


    I felt my hope disappear at the words and anger rose to fill the void.


    He looked towards the King and said ¡°He is useless, I cannot trust him.¡±


    I called upon fire and felt it rush through my veins, something that felt natural in my previous life now felt foreign and exciting. I let my anger guide me and I grabbed the metal rods that confined us and melted them away, my body was aflame once again.


    I am not sure if there was shouting, and I am pretty sure there was fighting because I have a big bruise on my temple, but when I came around the charred body of Sunder was dust on the ground. I could only hear muted sounds until Samuela touched me.


    ¡°What have you done Kami!!¡± again the most angelic voice in the world reverberated inside my head. ¡°You have killed the last farmer in the world other than you!! Everyone is restraining the farmer¡¯s companions from killing you, why have you done this?!!!.....You retarded piece of shit.¡±


    Hearing the princess call me a piece of shit brought me back to my senses. I could see the farmer¡¯s partners trying their best to get to me but Dr¨®gar and Salim kept them at bay, Cora was next to them without a weapon.


    I felt anger still within me and seeing Cora defenseless and Samuela in the verge of tears I did the only thing I knew how to do other than farming¡­ I burned the shit out of the farmer¡¯s companions.


    The dungeon was now filled with the dusty remains of four people and the smell was really unbearable, not that it was nice to begin with.


    ¡°Goddam it Kami!!! Why did you go and kill the other farmer!!¡± Salim screamed at me from the crispy remains of his former assailants.


    I looked at my old friend and told him truthfully without my usual ignorance ¡°Now you can¡¯t kill me.¡±


    I stepped through them and I heard them yell at my back ¡°What if the farmer had the olives on him¡±


    Shiiiiittttt! I hadn¡¯t taken that into consideration, but wanting to keep my aura of awesomeness I turned around and answered ¡°Not my problem.¡±


    I felt good with myself and I kept walking to the door of the dungeon, I had no idea where I was going but I kept walking forward, that is until I felt people beating me unconscious, before I passed out I saw Salim, Dr¨®gar, Cora and Samuela kicking the shit out of me.


    So much for being the last farmer alive.


    When I came back to my senses, I saw that I was no longer in the dungeon but in a plush bed, sadly there was not a woman beside me. I tried to stand up but I was chained to the bed.


    ¡°The fiend is awake!¡± a small child yelled next to me. I didn¡¯t like children. Before I could berate the little kid for yelling I was interrupted by my father. He walked to the bed as I watched him and stood before me with his solemn face.


    ¡°Kami, why do you do this to me?¡± my father asked me.


    I laid down with my chained hands and wanting to keep the feelings that I felt in the dungeon I told him


    ¡°Why do you even try to constrain me? You know I can escape whenever I want.¡±


    My father shook his head and sat on the bed next to me ¡°And what good will that do, Kami? How many times will you try to escape your calling? Didn¡¯t you learn patience from being a famer? Will you try to kill us all?¡±


    I was losing my awesome feelings with each question and I couldn¡¯t understand why I was in the wrong in all of this.


    ¡°What do you mean escape my calling!? I never asked to defend this world, I wanted to fuck around and live my life, I had no choice but to leave and become a farmer!¡±


    My father shook his head losing his patience, he yelled at me ¡°And then what happened!? The world went to shit and now the only person that can save us is a farmer!! Don¡¯t you see!?¡± He threw his hands in the air.


    I couldn¡¯t see what he was seeing. I shook my head.


    ¡°No matter what you become or what you believe you are, son, your destiny is written! That is why now, even if you decided that your powers wouldn¡¯t be used to save this world, now your farming skills will!! We do not decide what we become! We can only decide how we approach it!!¡±


    I was out of awesome feelings by now and I turned to look the other way so my father couldn¡¯t see me.


    ¡°Is it wrong to want something different?¡±


    My father sighed ¡°Why can¡¯t you do both?¡±


    I turned to face my father and I think I saw tears in his eyes, if they were there I had no chance to figure it out, at that moment he changed his demeanor again to the one I remembered all of my life.


    ¡°I trained you Kami, as I trained your sister, she did her part marrying the King. Now it is your turn to do yours. Tonight we will be gathering at the council and you are summoned, and don¡¯t think we haven¡¯t taken measures to control you. Your old fire master will be with us.¡±


    My father stood up and left me chained in the bed. I wanted to say something but I couldn¡¯t find the right words so I stayed quite.


    If Edna would be at the council she would be able to stop me. Before I was dimmed to be the savior of the world and housed in Azuma, she had been regarded as the strongest mage in the land, fire mages were counted with both hands and she and I were at the top of the list.


    I sighed and let my body relax trying to find sleep that wouldn¡¯t come, thankfully Dr¨®gar stepped into the room.


    ¡°How is our little fire cracker doing?¡± the rouge asked me as I feigned sleep.


    ¡°Wake up Kami, I can tell from your breathing you are awake! I want to talk to you about the redhead!¡±


    I opened one of my eyes and watched him suspiciously. ¡°What redhead?¡±


    ¡°Ha! I knew you were awake!¡± he said sitting down where my father had been moments before. ¡°What do you mean, what redhead!? The fire mage dumbass, is she single, do you know anything about her.¡±


    Funny how you start thinking of someone and people start talking about them.


    I looked at Dr¨®gar and remembered the first time I saw him in the cellar with Sigyn, he was strong, good looking and had the straightest nose you¡¯d ever seen on a human, his black hair was tied in a ponytail and his mischievous eyes spoke of adventures.


    ¡°Why are you looking at me like that?¡±


    I shook away the thoughts from my head ¡°I don¡¯t like men!¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s that supposed to mean?¡±


    ¡°Forget about it, the redhead is off limits.¡± The rogue looked at me displeased. ¡°Man! You already have the blonde and the brunette, why the hell do you need a redhead!?¡±


    ¡°What brunette?¡± I asked sincerely


    Dr¨®gar shook his head as if talking to a small child ¡°Salim is right, you really suck at reading people.¡± I gave him the finger and he laughed.


    ¡°So what about the redhead?¡±


    I tried to remember my past, as I laid chained to the bed and told him what I remembered from my former master.


    ¡°She is older than you and I, by about five years. She hates dumb people, especially those that do it on purpose, she likes gambling and hates losing.¡± Dr¨®gar granted me a smile at that information.


    I decided save him some pain.


    ¡°Don¡¯t even think about cheating her, she will probably cut your balls off, why do you think I don¡¯t play Haven Stone? Anyways she is strong as well, probably stronger than me, now that I haven¡¯t practiced in eleven years. From what I remember she liked women, so if you are not hiding a slit under your pants, your chances have been lowered considerably.¡±


    He took the information in stride and gave me a small pat on the arm ¡°Sadly, I don¡¯t have a slit under my pants, but boy does that woman make a man think about becoming dickless just to taste her.¡±


    I nodded in confirmation, I hadn¡¯t seen Edna in eleven years but if she looked anything like she did when she trained me I would probably cut my dick off too.


    As Dr¨®gar left my room he told me a piece of information that made me really happy.


    ¡°By the way, the olives are save, Sarah had them.¡± Before he could leave I yelled ¡°Who the fuck is Sarah?¡±


    ¡°The deaf woman.¡± He closed the door and left me to my thoughts.


    A deaf woman? I hadn¡¯t met a deaf woman yet, I knew a blind one and a mute, but not a deaf. I fell asleep thinking about blondes, brunettes, redheads, mutes, deaf and blind women.


    I hoped they liked hairless men.