《Beyond Singularity: A Will of Fire》 Chapter 1: The place where it all began Hello there, Amateur writer here. I hope you enjoy the story and if you do or do not enjoy this story please tell me. I love constructive (and not constructive) criticism. I thought up and wrote this story entirely for my own enjoyment however you can thank RoyalRoad for having cursed me with eternally coming back to this place even after multiple years of having ran away. Also because this story was originally never meant to be read by others it might have a slightly awkward writing style especially in these first 2 chapters. So with that out of the way here it is, this magical piece of future embarrassment.
The Sage: Follow the light, the fire of life will lead the way. Kedeng kedeng, kedeng kedeng, kedeng kedeng, kedeng kedeng.* Loud metallic clangs reverberate through the train for no one to hear. The sharp corners and dirty neglected seats unsavory to the eye. A despondent place. A place for someone who has nothing left to lose. Shattered glass litters the ground, now not even tumbleweed can pass this place unharmed. The first class seats that once were so neat and tidy, now flowery patterns of decaying cloth fills the luxuric pillows for the rich. Layers of dust and cushion filling settled on the floor. This... is the place my entire life was turned on its head. And hopefully yours too. I finally came back. I am not afraid. I have prepared for this, I have prepared just for this moment for the past ten years. You better be proud of yourself damn train! I slam my fist into the old train wreck. Fuck this hurts, note to self ¨C don''t punch trains... it hurts. After taking a few breaths its time to look around. The same old massive heap of metal as ever. It is as if time never moves. I can almost see the old me walking around here. Happy times, sad times, Laughing and crying, whining and nearly dying. It has been ten years yet I still have not moved on with my life. How long do you want to keep me here for damn thing! Hah, I am not going to punch you this time the joke is on you. I wish I had brought my steel toe boots I could have at least taken a little bit of revenge. I slide down the side of the train and sit down. The silence in this place is weighing down on me. My broken mental tape recorder just keeps on repeating the same questions over and over again, why didn''t I do something, why didn''t someone do something, did nobody care, was it all my fault. But the hardest question of them all: Why can''t I just let it go. All of the questions keep coming and going relentlessly like the ebb and flow of the sea... never to be answered. I know it isn''t actually this train that is at fault. I know that it wasn''t their fault either, they were just doing their jobs. They didn''t know. I have come to love this place it is always there for me whenever I need to be alone for a while. But I hate it. I hate how I can''t escape, this place doesn''t even hold any significant meaning for me. It is just that whenever I need some time to think I come here. So over time it became a symbol of past memories. The silence here is deafening. It makes you feel empty inside, as if something is missing here, something is not right that kind of feeling. Long ago there was a disaster here. This train held the people that were trying to escape. Ever since this place has been abandoned. I don''t know much about that disaster it was too long ago. It happened somewhere last century long before I was born. Now nature is flourishing here. As if to say "Life is possible even here so keep living on". I can''t help but chuckle a bit. It is ironic right, here where one of the worst disasters ever happened, completely abandoned, yet it is so full of life. Compared to the so called "Natural Parks" this place is heaven. Beautiful and full of life. You can see a vibrant lush green all the way to the horizon. Plants, trees, flowers, insects, spiders, and species I cannot even recognize, they''re everywhere. All of this enthralling life with at its center, an abadoned train left to rust on its own. Despondent, discouraged, dishearted, depressed and despairing, that is what it was supposed to be. But instead the plants, the animals, and the other beings of nature overcame all of that and see what we have now. One of the most beautiful and alive places I have ever seen. So whenever I feel hopeless and lost I come here. And now is one of such times. I have no time left. No time, no money, no help. I have been sick ever since I was fourteen. Unable to do anything about it. I have been to doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, and about every other type of medical practicioner in the book. Although I am doing much better now, I have never truly recovered. My parents have long since abandoned me, they gave up when I became eighteen. Welfare? You have to search for work to get that. Last time I tried I nearly ended up in the hospital. I have lived on the last money I had for over a year. In the winter I lived without heating, I eat as little as possible, I exercise to get as healthy as possible hoping that one day I will be able to work, I have tried every trick and pill in the book and every advice I could with what little money I had. I have tried to get a proper education so I could at least find an easier job I could do. However that is not easy to do having dropped out in 9th grade. I recall the moment I became aware something was seriously wrong. That morning I woke up after my normal bad nights, four hours of sleep, 5:30 am my usual time because of my school being far away, heaving a sigh of relief. I tried to stand up out of my bed and that is when realization struck. I screamed out in agony my limbs feeling as if they are tearing apart, my head splitting apart, every movement I made felt like it would kill me. I dared not even shout anymore, ever as much as making a sound hurt. After what felt like hours I finally brought up the courage to slowly turn my head bit by bit until I could see the clock at the other side of the room. 5:35 AM. My heart dropped into my stomach. 25 minutes left before my mom would ever bother to look into my room. And then in one of the most stupid decisions I have made in my entire life I decided to try and move myself to stand up. It did not take long for me to regret my decision, and when the pain came my entire life. Once again the same limb tearing, nerve wrecking, head splitting pain spread throughout my body this time it was many times worse. With not even the ability to scream in pain I had to hold everything in before it got any worse. Never before did I realize clocks tick so excrutiatingly slowly. If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. My head still blank with the pain from my attempt at getting out of bed I notice the pain ever so slowly going back to the way it was before when I just woke up. Tick, tock, tick, tock, is all I hear my mind starts waking up from its stupor. After who knows how long I finally take the only other action I can again: Turn my head to look at the clock. 5:38 AM. I want to curse at the goddamn god that thought this was a just punishment for anyone not in hell! I watch the clock hand move forward. Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock,tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock,tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock. I hear some stumbling coming from downstairs my parents are finally waking up. The hand is at exactly 270 degrees angle or 1.5 pi radian around the clock, 5:45 AM. Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock,tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock,tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock. The pain is getting worse why is it taking so long. I want to call her, shout at her: Please come help me! I just can''t force myself to make a sound any louder than a pipsqueek before my entire body starts cramping up from the pain. Please mom, just hurry up. I can''t stand this pain any longer. Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock,tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock,tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick. God please someone help I can''t take this any longer, the pain, the pain it is driving me mad. Moving hurts, breathing hurts, thinking hurts, everything hurts. I''ll take a pain killer, even that disgusting one. Please just anything, I''ll do anything just make the pain stop. I don''t want this anymore. Tears are welling up in my eyes, I want to scream with every fibre of my being. Tick, tock, tick, tock,tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick. It hurts. Tick. It hurts. Tock. It hurts. It hurts. Tick. It hurts. Tock. It hurts. It hurts. Tick. It hurts. Tock. It hurts. It hurts. Tick. It hurts. Tock. It hurts. It hurts. Tick. It hurts. Tock. It hurts. How much time has passed? I don''t know. Is it almost 6? Is it almost over? Please let it almost be over. Tick, tock, tick, tock, Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock. With the last bits of strength and courage I could muster I slowly turned my head to look at the clock. I could see it standing there in the corner of my eye, it took me I don''t know how long but I finally got my head in a position to take a good look at the clock. I tried to focus my because of the pain hazy eyes. I finally got a good look at the clock and... my heart stops and everything turns dark for a moment, 6:05 AM. She has never been even a minute late before. For how long will I have to endure this pain before she notices something is wrong. The thought of having to endure this for any longer simply shatters all of my hope. I can understand that for someone who hasn''t been through this pain this has to be unimaginable. But for me that was one of the worst moments of my life. All of the faith I had in the world shattered. The image I had of my mother as a kind and caring parent vanished. Even now thinking of that pain I shudder despite all I have been through. Even the most horrifying pain you can imagine cannot come close. It is akin to torture. I simply couldn''t hold it any longer. I could only shout out despite not knowing why she left me like this, she was the only person who could help me right now: "Mom please come!" I tried to shout as loudly as I can. Though it was barely any louder than my usual voice. However somehow she heard me, I could hear her walking up the stairs asking what is wrong. Despite barely being able to hear her over the pain screaming inside tapping into an inner strength I did not know I had I managed to utter: Mom, everything hurts. Before falling back into a state of half conscious. Aware of all the pain, yet not capable of escaping from it. Neither sound nor sight reaches me. Everything is a blur, the only thing I feel is an unbearable pain. Please. Someone. Make it stop. Just make it go away, please.
(props to anyone who got that reference)* Chapter 2: A lovely day Just make it go away, please. It hurts, it hurts so badly. That is all I could think until the pain finally started fading away. I am not sure whether I really felt better or I just got used to it. But it was gone now. I still remember it vividly. It was 12PM with the sun high up shining into my eyes. It''s obviously long past the time I had to go to school. I think I heard my mom call the school, but I am not sure. I can still hear the clock ticking, though clearly not as slowly as before. Wait. The pain. It is gone. A sigh of relief escapes my lips. I fall back down onto my bed. The soft cloud like texture of the mattress caressing me and the blankets keeping me warm. Even my old stuffed animals spread around the room give me some sense of comfort. I recall an embarrassing memory and blood rushes to my face. Why am I feeling embarrassed everybody goes through something like that once in there life. Heck I am all alone nobody can see me, why am I feeling so embarrassed about a little stuffed toy. It takes a few seconds but I overcome my urge to look away, instead I choose to indulge in my nostalgia. I really used to love pok¨¦mon didn''t I. I stretch out my hand picking up the old pikachu toy from under the slanted roof of my room. Jeez, how old is this thing, I have had it since when? I must have been six back then, I was still making plushy toy armies around my bed to ward off the scary monsters hidden in the darkness. These scary monsters I later learned go under the fearsome name of "fluttering curtains". When I finally realized what it was I must have looked so stupid. A short chuckle escapes my mouth looking back at my silly childhood memories. I think I feel a bit better now, reminiscing about old times lifts my mood for some reason. "Just like an old man". I say out loud however there is noone left here to listen. I feel a lot better now, what is the time? I turn my head and take a look at the clock. Seriously it''s 1PM already. In a mere moment I went from a daze to being fully awake. I am hungry as hell and though I am still a little tired but I want to eat my breakfast so I decide it is time to get out of bed. I carefully turn and twist my body into a sitting position as to not make the same mistake as before. Now with my legs hanging out of the bed, my body laying on its side and horizontally on top of my bed I pull myself up into a sitting position. My previously tense shoulders suddenly relaxing. This morning was terrible I think to myself as I put my hands on the railing of my bed to support me while I stand up. I still feel a little shaky despite all of the rest, I can only hope I will never have to feel like this again. I almost loose my footing and nearly fall over in spite of my hand holding the railing. I reflexively grab around me in order to find something I can hold onto. I grab onto the mattress barely keeping myself standing. Only now do I notice my shaky legs and still painful back. I don''t know why but I feel drained. I get the urge to simply lie down again however quickly dismiss that idea. I''ll try hold onto something while I walk. I stumble my way across my room to the door holding onto any and everything that I can find including an old tabletop football game that nearly fell over. With a loud thump I nearly fall into the door I am supposed to open. Looking back at this day I just realise how ridiculous it just looks, it is as if it came straight out of a poorly written drama with a heavily injured man walking down the stairs to thank the damsel in distress being shouted at by her father. However even now I can remember the pain so vividly. I look up from my thoughts when a bird shrieks echo loudly through the forest. Love what you''re reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on. I am not feeling so well and I really don''t want to risk falling down the stairs with my shaky legs, however this problem is easily solved with an old trick I thought up back when I wasn''t allowed to use one of my legs due to an injury. I sit down on the edge of the stairs and my legs two steps down, I slowly pull myself forward and with a slightly painful thud I hit the wooden stairs. 1 step done only 20 or so left to go. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. It took a while but when I finally reach the kitchen, despite my painful bottom I still feel a bit of relieve. Now that I am downstairs I can finally eat breakfast. I am hungry and yet I also feel nauseous, it is a strange feeling those two together. However the fact that you need to eat when you are sick was drilled into me by my doctor aka mom from a young age so it doesn''t matter, time to eat. Now that I am finally sitting down I lose myself in my thoughts, as I always do when I am alone. When was the last time I had so much trouble walking again? I think it was when I had a serious case of the flu. Was it my second elementary school or third that it happened in? I don''t know. I only vaguely remember, though I am sure it was a lot worse today than it was back then. Ding, dong, I can hear the old clock in my house ring twice, it is probably 2PM already. I am am actually starting to feel bored just sitting here. I am actually feeling a lot better now, still a bit tired but fine for the rest. While I move my way back to my room I think back to the hilariously stupid way I "walked" down the stairs. I never thought having had a heavily injured leg can actually come in handy one day. This might be a great memory in the future, but for now I just want to leave this day behind me. Time to play some games. Sitting against the cold metal train I cannot help but grimace at my own foolishness. How could I have not seen. Was it ignorance? Stupidity? Or did I simply not want to know. All the hints were there. You could have seen this coming years ahead of time. I curl up into a ball in order to hide away. I did with what I had back then, I know that I did my best. I know that back then I couldn''t have known. How could I have foreseen something that even the doctors didn''t understand after countless amounts of blood and other tests. I was in a hopeless situation like this before. Back then I managed to do the impossible. Can I do it again? How? I had at least a little bit of money to back me up then, is there another way? I have been trying so hard for months is it time to give up? Should I just sit here and think until the cold loving embrace of death takes me? How did I overcome it back then? This might be a great memory in the future, but for now I just want to leave everything behind me. I didn''t learn a thing in all of these years, I made the mistake once, I made it twice, like the dumb donkey hitting the same stone twice. The Sage: The easy road will lead you into the loving embrace of the reaper. When life gives you an easy way out, shred it to pieces and build one with your own two hands.