《SEIZE THE MEANS OF DESTRUCTION》


 Chapter one - Good morning

    ¡°The numbers are in from the last clash between local super hero group Titan Pride and terrorist organisation ICS. With casualties at a record low of 23 and only two mortally injured. Reports suggest that the attack was instigated by...¡±


    As the reporter continues to droll on about the miserable job my co-workers did I find my appetite quickly diminish. The very idea that I am going to have to spend the next year here in the city of Brighton spending valuable time retraining a bunch of idiots who think that 23 casualties in our line of work is an acceptable number already has me walking away from my table bowl over to the bin, dropping my cereal, bowl and all into the high tech disintegration machine.


    On the bright the powers that be have decided to grant me a rather nice sweet in one of the new costal apartment blocks, lots of glass and steal, more space than I¡¯m used too and a few items of furniture that I am currently debating as to weather or not I will make sweet love on with the super heroine who lives next door when I inevitably seduce her with my good looks and devilish charm. Maybe living here wont be so bad?


    ¡°All of a sudden I feel hungry again.¡± Oh well I¡¯m sure I can indulge later any way, but right now it looks like I¡¯ve got some supers to berate.


    As I reach the front door I realise I nearly forgot rule number one of confronting any group of impressionable young supers for the first time; always look Bad Ass. Unfortunately, I can¡¯t quite walk out my front door super suit and all which leaves me with the next best thing, my red on black motorbike suit. Yeah with this it looks like I can kick a sufficient amount ass, not to mention its form fitting design is a great chick magnet regardless that I am now living in the gay capitol of England. Actually now that I think about it I might have to be careful of that kind of attention, its already bad enough finding fanfiction of your self where you get raped by your arch nemesis. Just Eww.Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.


    Opening my door, I find my self face to face with the drop dead gorgeous heroine from next door, holding a letter level with where the letter plate would be on my door. Daaayum, well its settled I wanna see her spread over my couch, although eating her on the dinner table still holds some excellent appeal in exactly how appropriate it would be in the context of the furniture¡¯s function.


    ¡°Oh hello, us from 451 just wanted to welcome you to floor¡± She said while pushing the letter into my hands.


    ¡°dat so?¡± I utter intelligently as I flip the card onto its back, intent on removing its papery inside from its still papery skin. Dam envelopes and their dreadfully finicky seals. Fuck it, I just tear the top off to reveal a tastefully hand drawn welcome card containing a cheerful greeting and the URL to a web page no doubt about organised community events and there is nothing I don¡¯t love about community.


    ¡°You know most people would just buy some cheap card from the corner shop but this actually shows some genuine effort¡±


    ¡°yah, well we like to make go the extra mile round here, sides its pretty exiting to have the mystery owner of number 452 finally appear after two years of owning the pace¡±


    ¡°Ahh well its actually company property, so I¡¯m only really here for business but considering they basically gave me the place I might be around for a while. Any way I am Victor, its been a pleasure but I must run.¡±


    Yeah boiii, perfect cover story plus I now have an identity as an approachable rich business man which should be sickeningly bourgeoisie enough to trick any would be sleuths.


    ¡°Sorry, I can¡¯t believe I didn¡¯t say earlier but I am Sarah. Anyway Id take a look at the community events link on the card if I were you as we are Hosting a diner party come Saturday¡±


    ¡°I will take a look later but I¡¯ve got to go meet some wage slaves in the companies¡¯ local branch who need a slap from how badly they have been performing lately, see you round¡±


    Grabbing my rucksack, I wink to the lovely lady as I step out door and promptly stride over to the elevator.


    ¡°yeah you too!¡± I hear shouted from behind me as I round the corner.


    ------------------------------------------Sarah POV--------------------------------------------


    Did he just wink at me? Oh shit, did I come across that way, I don¡¯t even like men. Laura is going to shit herself laughing when she finds out. Fuck this is going to make a nice diner so much more awkward.

 Chapter Two - Down Under

    Wind churns around me as I speed down the high way weaving between traffic like a leather clad maniac riding atop a furious god. I honestly can¡¯t say what make this bike is only that the dam thing looks like someone decided it would be a smart idea to stick a jet engine on wheels, clad it chrome and paint it sexy.


    Really gotta thank Mechlomaniac for this beauty at some point, even if I did steal it from him and the thanks more more of a gloat that I managed to ride off on his pet project when he got caught in civilian cloths for speeding by a chronomancer. I don¡¯t think I will ever be able to let him live that one down.


    Drifting into the local Hero League HQ I am greeted with a towering spire of enough gold tinted glass and wasted labour to make even the trump towers look paltry in comparison. Hurray for yet another phallic statement to our capitalist overlords, may their trickle down economics sustain us.


    The Inside of the damnable thing looked as though old king Midas of legend crawled out of his fictitious but hole and decided to have an orgy leaving solid gold busts and furnishings on every apparent surface. Yet again reminding me as to why Hero League is by far the worst of all super hero organisations despite the private corporate funding that keeps ahead in tech game. Sadly, this very same funding and security also makes it one of the very best places for any organisation of supers to keep their public identities hidden to the wider public in the surveillance state of the surface world.


    Noticing the busty receptionist hidden between the awful d¨¦cor I saunter over to make introductions. ¡°hello, I am Victor Alexeev from the Geno Lab¡¯s department of security I Believe you should have the activation code for my clearance card¡±


    ¡°So you are one of the guy from down stairs, we don¡¯t see a lot of you around here¡±. I imagine its because we have some taste in interior design


    ¡°Then I should say its because we are doing our job properly, this is an arrangement of discretion¡±


    ¡°Of course Mr Alexeev, if you would hand me your card please. This should only take a second¡±


    Why we even bother with clearance cards I don¡¯t know, it is much safer to simply invest in neuro cybernetics which are keyed to their respective clearance zones. The technology is already practically common place, Hell I programed my bike to turn on the in seat heater when I feel my butt get chilly.Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    One beep boop later and I was walking towards the elevator functional clearance card in hand and one sexy receptionists number on speed dial, honestly who am I to say no with looks as good as mine ey?


    The elevator was one of those double door thingamajigs where it could open either front or back depending on the floor plan although in this case a swipe of a card in an inconspicuous spot of wall made the door I entered into close and its opposing twin reveal a cramped room dimly lit and decked in black, refreshing from the white and gold aesthetic taunting me from behind.


    Gota give the boys credit for hiding a secret compound behind an elevator behind an elevator behind the most aggressively Heroic organisation on the face of the earth, even if I hate them for it. You see the thing about the hero League is that they physically repulse me, it doesn¡¯t matter that their intention is just (despite the corporate backing) or that they help prevent hundreds of deaths every week or that the majority of them are in fact incredibly attractive on the level that even I a more or less straight male would consider bending over for a number of its male membership. Yeah that right, I the great slayer of pussy and exalted expert of women¡¯s anatomy would totally let Captain Power take me in the ass (even with a name as awful as his). Its just that the Hero League has its head so far up it ass that they would not even notice if a criminal organisation built a base of operations directly underneath its regional HQ. Speaking of which the elevator finally stopped descending.


    Doors opening, I am greeted with the pleasant sight of super powered nutjobs intent on killing each other. Ahh a sight for sore eyes. Looking down form the aerial walkway reviled a fortified training compound of 400 cubic meters made of a super dense compound aptly named super structure by god knows which one of the infinite number of pretentious techies running around out there.


    From my raised perspective upon the balustrade an gelatinous figure made entirely of orange slime was engaged in heated combat with what appeared to be a Mech constructed out of discarded car parts and scrap.


    The Mech¡¯s engine suddenly kicked up its rumbling engine a notch as plumes of black smoke rising from exhausts turned to flame quickly propelling the heap of scrap like a 5 tone wrecking ball of mechanical fury across into the currently reforming figure of Jelly.


    The resulting explosion of acidic goo radiated outwards smattering the walls, floor and me or more to the point my riding suit that was supposed to be used to impresses rather than look like some one threw a jar acid at me, oh wait¡­ they just did.


    Slowly the goo started pulling itself together around its mechanical foe, melting down its joints and fixtures making armour plating cascade down to the floor as it flailed at the binding tendrils wrapping around it like a web. As the acid continued rapidly exposing more and more of the its mechanical insides a small explosion jettisoned a capsule from the back its torso and over into the far side of the compound


    Honestly the result of that fight was a given, I mean it really doesn¡¯t matter how much armour you pile on top of your mechanical warrior of doom if you are going up against an opponent capable of taking on a non solid form that literally eats through you like a fat kid in a candy store. Note to self: NEVER do a job with Glutton again.


    Flicking off the remainder of the fights victor from my jacket I continued down the walkway looking forward to being able to being able to pick on the idiots stupid enough to ruin what was going to be my super suit, lets hope they have some appropriate spares.