《If only common sense was a bit more common...》


 Prologue

    If only common sense was actually common. It''s your loss if you mind it.


    Daniel Ackland was a 16 year old. His life has always been one madness to another. At the age of 18 minutes, yes minutes, his mother was killed by ninjas. Not that he remembered it.


    Fearing their lives, his cowardly father fled to the mountains. Sadly, he didn''t live for very long and left the world when Dan was only eight years old.


    Barely knowing how to read, the child was left with a little hut, some money, and a lot of books.


    Not knowing how to sustain himself, turned to the books left in the study, he learnt many things. Social interaction was, however, not one of those things.


    Surviving on wild vegetables, scavenging fruit, farming and hunting, lived his life peacefully until the age of 14.This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    On a cold winters day, the ninja''s from his mother''s former clan had found him. Abducted from his sleep, he was forced to train and become an assassin. Not that it was hard work, it was much easier than hunting bears and wolfs, which to him was almost a weekly occurrence.


    In his 16th year, he escaped one night, well, walked out the front gate, sending bullets into everyone else''s heads. Having had enough, he was bored and decided he wanted to go and explore the world.


    After all, he was raised as a lonely child, and didn''t trust anyone other than himself. Killing people was just another part of a Ninja''s life, and so is backstabbing.


    So off he went on his journey, until he was hit in the head with a softball, which, mind you, isn''t soft at all. Stumbling, he fell onto the road and was sent flying, crashing into the window of the local bank. His body flew in front of the police force just as the bank robber fired his gun. And shot in the heart, he died.


    Which brings us to now, the present. This is the story of a boy, severly lacking common sense, decided he wanted to kill the hero, and did. All because he stole the last meat bun. Oh, and his sidekicks desperate attempts at stopping him.


    Warning: foreshadowing contained in prologue may or may not be incorrect

 Chapter 1: Just 5 more minutes

    He opened his eyes, vaguely remembering his death. He''s surrounded by bright white walls. Nothingness, the room is empty. A perfect cube, and pure, unblemished white walls.


    He then closed his eyes and went back to sleep. ''I''ll deal with this later.'' He thought sleepily.


    "W-wait! What are you doing! Don''t go back to sleep! Aren''t you confused? You just died! How can you be so calm!" Retorted a disembodied voice.


    ''Hmm? I feel like I heard something. Probably just the wind. Back to slee-'' A beautiful, childish voice interrupted his thoughts.


    "There''s no wind here! Get up!"


    ''I heard nothing. You can''t make me. Just 5 more minutes.


    How is this thing reading my thoughts?


    Well, I don''t really care.''


    "I-i-i''m not some THING!"


    "Smack"


    "Ouch!"


    In reply, he was smacked.


    The brunette, sitting up, opened his eyes to look at the perpetrator. It''s a girl.


    A small girl, her hair golden, the same colour as her eyes. Her facial features perfect, small, pink lips, long lashes and rosy cheeks. Her skin unblemished and white, like the walls of the room.


    Her smile could turn a thousand heads, making even girls fall heads over heels.


    Only, the young man currently in front of her had no attachmentthis ''love'' thing.If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    "Can I eat it? Is it tasty? No. Then I don''t need it."


    Same goes for it''s practically non-existent libido. (a/n I''m not writing ero, soz guys)


    He just looked at the proud girl for a few long moments, and then laid down, shifting into a comfortable position.


    "Don''t ignore me!"


    Sighing, the youth sat back up, wondering how he could send this nuisance away so he could keep sleeping.


    "And? Who are you? What do you need?"


    The blond immediately brightened up at the attention. Puffing up her chest, she announced.


    "I am the creator of all, God!"


    "Ah. Is that so." Replied the boy, matter of factly. He just didn''t care who made what. Unless it''s good meat. Human steak is one of the bests. The word cannibal isn''t even in his dictionary, after all, if it''s tasty, it doesn''t matter.


    The poor goddess felt her pride shatter. Unable to contain her fury, she yelled.


    "Be surprised! Goddammit."


    "Pfft" The boy giggled, leaving the divinity dumbstruck. ''She said Goddammit, but she''s god."


    The girl was baffled, after all that, and this is what got his attention. Never once in her billions of years has he encountered such an oddball. Sure there were strange ones, like the one that kept insisting he was god, or that one that claimed she was the devil, or even the one who wanted to lick her feet!


    The majority of the human race seemed to just scream in terror, but this guy, is laughing because she cursed using her own name.


    Resigning herself, she sighed.


    "Let''s just get this on with. Because of a mess up when you were born, your luck was... Odd. As compensation, we will reincarnate you into a world of swords and magic while providing you with a cheat. We hope you live a good life."


    The boy just looked at her blankly?


    ¡°So you''re saying, you messed things up when reincarnating me, so my life was messed up. And now you''re going to compensate me?"


    The goddess let out another big sigh." Well, if you want to put it bluntly, yes. We can''t change your luck as long as you possess your current memories, but we can give you 5 cheats of your choice. And you can do whatever you want, we won''t make you defeat the demon lord or anything." She explained sheepishly.


    Everyone makes mistakes, just God makes a few more than she should. She had no choice but to abuse her authority a bit to compensate the poor soul by giving him a better life in his brother''s world.


    The brunette took it all calmly and pondered for a bit before making a decision.


    "I can have anything I want?"


    "Anything." Replied the goddess, just wanting to get this over.


    "For my cheats, I want..."

 Chapter 2: Sadistic divinities.

    "For cheats, I want to clarify one thing first." The boy said emotionlessly.


    "Don''t build up the tension for something like that!" Retorted the angry goddess. Never has she ever met such an irritating mortal. Any more of this and she''d be ripping her hair out.


    The boy, clearly unbothered by the fuming divinity, simply asked his question. "I can have anything I want, right?"


    "Well pretty much, yeah." Sighed the divinity, resigning herself.


    "Then I want a million wish-"


    "No. You can not have a million wishes." Deadpanned the blond, staring into the boy''s chocolate browneyes.


    Then world war III erupted.


    "But you said I could have anything." Stated a male voice.


    "I said pretty much." Countered a female voice.


    "Then I want a million wishes." Rebuted the male voice.


    "I told you, you cannot have a million wishes." Replied the female voice.


    "Can I have a million and one wishes?"


    "No! You may not have ANY WISHES!" Yelled the little girl, stomping her feet.


    "But you said I could have anything."


    "Just choose something other that wishes already!"


    "Fine, I want you to be my familiar."


    "Sure, just no wishes!"The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.


    "Ok deal."


    "Yeah dea- wait. WHAT?"


    At that moment, a rip in space appeared and a golden-haired teen stepped out of the anomaly.


    "B-brother! Help me! I don''t want to become a familiar! I have a world to watch over." Pleaded the clumsy goddess, but without avail.


    "Oh my wonderful little sister," Replied the ''big brother'', his face frozen in the fakest smile Dan has ever seen. "You''re a goddess, a divinity. That means that if you make a promise, you have to keep it."


    The blonde boy waved his hand in the air and the girl suddenly vanished, followed by a searing pain in Dan''s left arm. Looking down, he could see mysterious runes etched into his skin.


    "Now that that annoying thing- I mean, my adorable little sister is gone, let''s get the rest of this done with." Smirked divinity. "What else would you like for your 5 cheats?"


    Dan thought back to all those light novels he had read, they weren''t that interesting but they were there so he read them. It was better than Shakespear, those were really old. Most of those stories seem to include a game system so why not.


    "Ok. I want the world to be a game system."


    The blonde just smiled.


    "Sorry, the world is already a game system."


    "Oh."


    That was somewhat expected for him, so he went with plan B.


    "Then, I want something to cheat appraisal to make me be able to customise what other people see and be able to appraise other people too."


    The god''s face showed a flash of annoyance. But that was quickly replaced by the fake smile permanently glued onto his face.


    "You actually have brains, I''m suprised. Most mortals just ask for some ''Hero Sword''." He commented, and with a wave of his hand. "Done. What else?"


    "I want 1000x the average stats, recovery rate and mp, hp pools and never tiring or needing to sleep. For 4th cheat, photographic memory and 10 faster at learning exp. And for the last one, can I have some information on the world first?"


    The divine being''s face twitched in annoyance. "That''s really pushing it, but I''ll let you get away with it since you''re getting rid of that annoyance- I mean, taking my wonderful little sister on vacation. And done."


    The blonde boy walked over to Dan, who was still sitting on the floor, and tapped him lightly on the forehead. A flash of warm light filled the room. Dan felt information flood into his head, like a tsunami crashing down on him. His brain went into overclock mode as he tried to understand all the information he was receiving.


    He screamed and yelled, the light blinding his eyes. His headache felt like his brain was being ripped into a million tiny pieces. The last thing he heard was a certain god''s giggling before everything went dark.


    ''That blasted sadist.'' He screamed in his mind.


    And he passed out.

 Chapter 3: Kicked out by God

    Dan opened his eyes sleepily. Above him was a young boy, around 15, with golden eyes and hair. He was floating in the air, looking down on him. Looking around for a moment, he recalled the previous events. Seeing this chance, he laid back down and closed his eyes again.


    "Whack!"


    "Ouch!"


    ''What''s with these siblings and violence?'' he thought to himself.


    Sitting up reluctantly, he spotted the fake-smile-god, holding a black leather whip threateningly. Involuntarily, he shivered.


    "Rise and shine worm~" Said the angelic little demon in a sing-song voice. "Hurry up and choose you last cheat so I can kick you out of here."


    Dan quickly decided based off all the information he received.


    "I want to have every single job."


    "All of them?"


    "All of them."


    "Even the monster jobs?"


    "Even the monster jobs."Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    "Stop repeating what I say." Said the God, breaking the chain. And with another wave of his hand. "Done. Last question, any race requirements?"


    "Male and humanoid."


    The divinity gave a mischevious smirk before replying. "Dragon it is, so I won''t have to see that annoyance for thousands of years-I mean, my loveable little sister could have thousands of years long vacation.


    And with a cheeky giggle, he waved his hand and the white room disappeared, replaced with darkness.


    ''Damn that god, what part of dragonmeans Humanoid!''


    <hr>


    Dan opened his eyes, or at least he tried to. But he failed. Or maybe he succeeded. He couldn''t tell.


    He tried to move his body only to find he didn''t possess one.


    So his flailed his arms in the mass of darkness he was currently floating in. Except,he didn''t have arms.


    ''Damn that god demon, he should have at least told me where I was going. I swear, one day, I will get back at him.''


    So time passed, or did it? You can''t tell!


    The darkness was unchanging. A darkness darker than black. It could have been eternity, or merely a few seconds.


    It was the darkness that drove people mad.


    But not Dan, because what did he do?


    He went back to sleep.


    No worrying about stupid futures, just sleep.


    Because sleep is important. After so many generations of evolution, humans still kept sleeping. Why do we need to sleep? To maintain our brain. The brain is crucial, only with our brain can we be considered intelligent beings.


    So to maintain his nonexistent brain, Dan slept.


    And time passed...


    Until he was to be reincarnated...


    Just Kidding, he slept for 14 minutes and 28.46 seconds before he was reincarnated. After all, how could that god devil let him sleep peacefully. It wouldn''t be a surprise if he guided the demon lord to kill his family.