《The Afturlife》 Prologue It was a cold night, unusual for the Afturlife. Nicholas was sitting in his office, reading through different messages sent to him from throughout the realms. He checked for the time, only then realizing that his watch was never on his wrist. Pausing through his busy work, he remembered the glowing recording on the corner of desk, just waiting to be listened by him. It was labeled on the side of it. The label was stretching around the lit capsule, as if it just wanted a hug. He smiled, it was from Jefferson, an old friend in the Benevolence office. To The Desk Of President Talbot; Message IMPORTANT ~Jefferson He then frowned upon consideration, usually his recordings would be listened by his secretary. ¡®Probably because it was important¡¯ he thought. So, without further examination, he reached over and popped it open. Maybe Jefferson wanted to hang out, have some sprites and just have a jolly time. Or maybe not. The recording made a ¡®Screech!¡¯ and Talbot covered his ears. Why couldn¡¯t people use good-old-fashioned feather paper? ¡°I¡­¡± it was a strained voice, hardly sounding like Jefferson¡¯s usual deep tone. ¡°Nicholas, there is no time to waste, no¡­ we must take action. There is a weapon that someone has made that¡­ deconstructs the soul. An attack¡­ on the office in the Good Realm¡­ my soul¡­ take. Nicholas¡­ tell my wife I love her¡­ you must¡­ do¡­¡± Nicholas suddenly froze, he could¡¯ve sworn he just saw a shadow of a person, eavesdropping outside. President Talbot dropped the recording as it turned red hot and disintegrated into the air. Stunned, Talbot looked out the window, his personal guards were nowhere to be seen. Cautiously, he looked at the security feed, it was blank. He grabbed a communicator and scrambled from his seat running to the door. He quickly jogged down the stairs to inform his secretary. He pounded on the door and yelled, ¡°Darlene?!¡± No response. Talbot pounded on it again. Something was wrong. Fearing the worst Nicholas ran down the main level to the North wing. He shakily entered his passcode into the monitor next to the silver door. He slipped inside his large private chamber and locked the door. He pressed the red button on the communicator, red for emergency and immediate lockdown and security response. The five council members should also be informed, the President needed to hold a secure emergency meeting about Jefferson¡¯s alarming demise and the security breach. Suddenly, someone started banging on the steel door. If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. A concerned voice yelled, ¡°Mister President?! Mister President?! Are you okay? This is Marcus, code name: Alpha 214, the password is ¡®Chumbawamba¡¯.¡± ¡°Wait, who was the man in the first row, sitting in the second seat on my Inauguration day? I want a full name please.¡± President Talbot spoke suspiciously. Silence, and then the man responded, ¡°Uhh¡­ I believe it was Dan Harrison.¡± ¡°Middle name?¡± ¡°Is it Waldemar?¡± ¡°Correct! Good job! Can you call the council members? I want to have an emergency meeting.¡± Listen, sir, there¡¯s no security breach, your personal guards were in front of the building and Darlene is just getting coffee at Starbucks. I¡¯m here to help, do you need a massage or somethin¡¯?¡± ¡°Oh. Umm¡­ well than! I guess back to normal than. Sorry for the fuss, I really thought there was a level-ten security breach. I guess paranoia comes with age.¡± President Talbot reentered his 10-digit password and had his fingerprint scanned. The steel door opened. He briskly stepped out. Suddenly, he froze as a chill passed down his spine, the hallway was dark and filled with shadows. He saw the guard who he talked to, standing with his back turned away from him. The guard was dressed in a dark cloak, concealing his identity, but Nicholas instantly recognized him. Talbot quietly pressed the communicator on, making sure someone would hear this conversation. ¡°You,¡± he regarded the man with a steely edge to his voice. ¡°Yes, it¡¯s me. I guess I¡¯m early to the party. Sorry Talbot, but I always knew that you¡¯re reign would never last,¡± the man responded in a disturbing calmness. Nicholas Talbot just stared at him with a look of loathing rage. ¡°I should¡¯ve known. I-¡± Suddenly the man turned drawing an object from his black cloak, Nicholas gasped for where the man''s eyes should have been lay only bottomless dark pits. The former guard¡¯s arm was a blur, a knife thrown with deadly accuracy, and the world seemed to hold its breath as Nicholas fell, the President of the Afturlife was no more. The grim faced man chuckled and bent down to pick the knife up the knife, the knife was black and clothed in shadows. The knife almost seemed to suck the light out of the room. The man turned and with a shattering of glass, he jumped out the window, out of the Leader¡¯s office. The sun was rising, signaling a new era to come. And indeed it came to the Afturlife it came like crows come to a fresh kill. {Chapter 1: Jake Peterson} Tonight on 60 Minutes: Have You Ever Been Stabbed By a Pumpkin? You know that moment when you¡¯re trying to reach the toilet paper but can''t quite, then fall and kill yourself on a pumpkin? Yeah I know that feeling¡­ it¡¯s not good. It all started one very normalish day at 1065 Fitzgerald Ave. It was all because of Mom¡¯s lasagna. Her recipe for ¡°Scrumptious Perfection¡± began with a teaspoon of salt, followed by two tons of cheese, an amount of sauce the size of the Rhode Island, and enough noodles to give you heart failure. Mom¡¯s usually healthy, but she went overboard because- ahem, not to brag or anything- I was named El Capitan of the chess team. I was a pretty sad kid for a 7th grader. However, you would¡¯ve thought I had just cured cancer. ¡°My sweetie pie! This is the day you become a man!¡± my Mom gushed. Seeing as how I pretty much didn¡¯t accomplish anything, this was as close to a party as it could get. The lasagna was great though. However, whatever food tastes good, probably has more than 500 calories. So¡­ you know my stomach was gurgling an hour later. I was sitting on the toilet thinking about a plastic pumpkin, not any pumpkin, but my sister¡¯s pumpkin. She had gotten it for Christmas last year. Yes, my sister Macy asked for a pumpkin for Christmas. Some kids want puppies or video games for Christmas, but Macy wanted a pumpkin. Not just any pumpkin either, she wanted a plastic pumpkin. She was obsessed with vegetarianism (we have a weird family). Plastic pumpkins, she had thought, were much better because they lasted longer. Thus, the pumpkin was now sitting on the black and white tiled floor on the bathroom floor in front of me. At that very moment, I was examining the rather sharp plastic stem. They should really put a safety warning on this, I thought sarcastically. I wonder how far I could throw it out the window. I stood up with realization, ¡°Gosh darn it there''s no toilet paper left.¡± I said aloud (because I¡¯m the kind of guy who talks to themselves while pooping.) ¡°Mom!¡± I yelled, ¡°where¡¯s the toilet paper?¡± ¡°Top shelf, Honey,¡± she replied. ¡°Oh c¡¯mon, mom! I told you not to call me that!¡± ¡°Call you what, Honey?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t call me, Honey!¡± ¡°Okay, Honey.¡± ¡°Whatever.¡± ¡°What was that, Honey?¡±If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. ¡°Stupid moms always think they¡¯re the boss it''s not like she created me or anything¡­¡± I muttered under my breath. Rather annoyed, I stepped up on the toilet rim. I could¡¯ve used the actual stool that was 2 feet away, but when you¡¯re butt needs TP, every move can be fatal. Unfortunately for me, that¡¯s exactly what happened. I reached up to the top shelf stretching my arm out. I was so close¡­ I tried to tip the roll over the wooden lip on the edge of the tall shelf. Sadly, I couldn¡¯t reach it. Now, instead of sensibly just grabbing the stool and using that, I just stood up on my tippy toes. My toes were clinging onto the toilet rim as I reached for the stars (toilet paper). Whelp¡­ if you haven''t already figured, this was a bad idea. My toes couldn¡¯t stand the weight, and just as I grabbed the toilet paper, my toes buckled into the bowl and I lost my balance. ¡°Ahhhhhhhhhh!¡± I screamed as I fell. Crunch! Snap! I hit the edge of the counter with the force of, well a boy falling off a toilet. I felt my spine break as I hit the countertop. Horrible, piercing, agony that came in waves (which was slightly true since my feet were still in the toilet bowl). It felt like I was swimming to stay afloat in a sea of pain. I gasped and managed to flopped over. ¡°Ahhhhhhhhhh!¡± I screamed again, as the pain seemed to increase. I tried to roll over to lessen the pain but fell off the marble counter. Falling into whatever was under the counter, you¡¯ve probably guessed what it was. Brace for impact, I stupidly thought as I fell onto something. Something orange. And round. And made of plastic. The stupid pumpkin. ¡°Ughhh,¡± Was my only reaction as I was speared in the arm by my sister¡¯s pumpkin, because by this time I couldn¡¯t even feel any more pain. My vision swam as I faded in and out of consciousness. ¡®The pumpkin¡¯s cartoon face seemed to say ¡°karma!¡¯ I tried not to close my eyes but the pain was like a rushing river threatening to take me away. Finally I collapsed from exhaustion, and the pain swept me away into unconsciousness and my world faded into darkness. ¡°Jake, honey,¡± yelled Mrs. Peterson running up the stairs ¡°What''s wrong, Honey? Why are you screaming? Are you ok, Honey?¡± ¡°Ulp¡­,¡± Mrs. Peterson managed to say. She looked at the scene with wide eyes, as she saw Jake lying on the floor with a broken spine and blood pouring out of his arm. Mrs. Peterson clutched her chest. Jake¡¯s mom took a very deep breath, quickly turned and slammed the door. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed 911. ¡°911 What''s your emergency? This is the Boise Police Department, also known as the BFD, what can we for you today.¡± A woman answered in a cheerful voice. ¡°Please send an ambulance my son has been stabbed by a pumpkin!¡± screamed Mrs. Peterson hysterically breaking into tears as the shock began to fade. ¡°Ah. Gotcha. This a real emergency, alrighty then, stay on the line. Hold on ma¡¯am, help is on the way. I want you to calm down. Now, how was he stabbed by a pumpkin? Is this an attempted murder? And who stabbed him? Don¡¯t worry ma¡¯am, we¡¯ll fine this vicious pumpkin-stabber and bring him to the court of law,¡± replied the operator, now determined to catch this villainous pumpkin wrongdoer. Jake¡¯s mother fainted on the spot. An ambulance left the nearest station at exactly 8:22 pm, 2 minutes after Jake¡¯s untimely demise. Police would find his limp body 30 minutes later. It was too late to save him, but it was also a very dumb death, they had agreed. {Chapter 2: Valerie Desmarais} My Life Crashes and Burns Okay, being stabbed by a pumpkin is pretty stupid. Since Jake is already stupid, I guess it was fitting for him. However¡­ I did not deserve some stupid death! I mean come, honor roll, straight A¡¯s (Ok, I did get two B¡¯s), and not to brag or anything, but I was actually cool! People actually thought I wasn''t a geeky loner, JAKE. Not to mention, Jake keeps saying that Canadian schools are easier, but WHAT DOES HE KNOW?!! I¡¯m -cough, cough- in high school not middle school, Jake. Sigh. Sorry, I had to get that out of my system, being dead can be ridiculously frustrating sometimes. Americans. I¡¯m a French-Canadian if you have noticed by my extravagant last name, Desmarais (basically pronounced Da-Mare-Iss). Apparently Desmarais means to live by a swamp. That''s just great. As if my life weren''t a swamp right now. My family moved to America last year, but I still consider myself Canadian. America isn¡¯t as cool, plus high school absolutely sucks. However, my life really went downhill when I stopped living. And when I mean downhill, I meant my life rolled down the hill at 500 miles per hour and crashed into an Honda Civic causing an explosion. Sorry, that''s not what happened, instead it all came tumbling down when I left the house at 7:46 pm. Right, well I live in Eagle, Idaho. I live in a small, one-story house in the suburbs. It¡¯s a pretty safe place, I mean we have neighborhood watch and what not. However, it¡¯s not like people get run over by speeding cars. Or so I thought¡­ bum, Bum, BUM!!!!! Sorry. I have a problem. Right after dinner, I got a text. im at starbucks. wanna hang? It was from Vivian Jones, my BFF and partner in annoyance. Since it was a beautiful summer evening, and I didn¡¯t have anything better to do, I agreed. Sounds gr8. b there in 10 min. Excellent, I grabbed my very fashionable coat, put on some boots, checked for any more texts, and out the front door. ¡°Mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I''m goingtohangoutwithVinow bye,¡± I said in that trying-to-annoy-your-mother teenage voice that all of us teenage girls pride ourselves for. Then I shut the door and strolled out. ¡°What?¡± Mom said, poking her head out of the door (exactly a millisecond later). ¡°Val, you can¡¯t just leave like that? Where you going, it¡¯s almost dark out!¡± ¡°Sheesh, Janet!¡± I said, annoyed. ¡°I- am-going-to-hang-out-with-Vi-now,¡± I said, emphasizing each word. ¡°We¡¯re going to meet at Starbucks.¡± Mom sighed, ¡°Valerie you have to understand, you can¡¯t just go wandering off wherever at 7:33 pm. At least tell us in advance.¡± ¡°Mom. I can go wherever I want because it¡¯s now 7:34, and I already told you in advance, remember? I told you like a minute ago? Now, can I go or not?¡± I shouted from the lawn. ¡°Uuuummmmm¡­ fine, you can go. Just don¡¯t drink any caffeine or you won¡¯t sleep tonight. Remember to look both ways when crossing Fitz. Avenue. Don¡¯t forget, come back when the sun sets, so it doesn¡¯t get too dark when you''re heading back! I expect to see your smiling face within the hour. Have fun!¡± ¡°Right Mom! Love ya! Bye!¡± And as I was walking down our boulevard, I could hear Mom say, ¡°I love you too, Val!¡± I kept on walking as foreboding music started playing. It must¡¯ve been a pretty bad sign, but instead it was my depressing ringtone. It was Vi (short for Vivian if you haven¡¯t noticed). ¡°Hey Val.¡± ¡°Hey Vi.¡± ¡°Listen, I¡¯m so sorry, but I can¡¯t meet at Starbucks anymore.¡± ¡°What, why?¡± ¡°My Dad needs a ride, his car broke down and now he¡¯s stranded at the auto repair shop. I have to go save him from the evil auto parts,¡± She sighed. ¡°At least you can drive! I have to either walk or bike everywhere! And, hey it¡¯s not like your dead or anything,¡± I responded like the great friend I am. ¡°Really sorry we can¡¯t meet¡±Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website. ¡°No prob. We can meet tomorrow at the Creamery or somethin¡¯. Don¡¯t sweat it.¡± Vivian sounded genuinely disappointed, ¡°¡®Kay, seeya then. I have to go. Jeez, there¡¯s some annoying guy at Starbucks. He¡¯s like, being an idiot. Anyways, bye! Love you!¡± ¡°Love ya back! See you tomorrow!¡± ¡°Byeeee,¡± she said, and hung up. Well now this is a dilemma. I could either go back home and face mom, who, after arguing, probably wouldn¡¯t be too nice. Or I could go to Starbucks, grab a latte, and head back. I didn¡¯t think twice. I crossed Alton Street and headed toward the corner of Main and Fitzgerald where the mini- mall with a Starbucks is. The layout of our little suburb is interesting. Our neighborhood is basically down the road from the center of Eagle. You walk three blocks across, turn, and walk two blocks west, and you''re at the local Walmart. To get to Starbucks, I just walked out of the neighborhood, walked down the block, and boom you''re at Starbucks. All I had to do was walk down Liberty Road (Yes we¡¯re very patriotic here in Eagle), and cross Fitz. Avenue. The walk only took ten minutes, but since I slowed down to talk to Vivian, It was more like fifteen. I arrived at around 7:53 and walked into the Starbucks. Dingaling! The little walk-in bell announced my presence to the entire Starbucks community. Since it was a nice summer evening, there weren¡¯t many people. The place had a total of four customers, a guy typing on his Mac, two ladies chatting together while drinking coffee, and a woman who had fallen asleep on her croissant. I walked up to the counter, to meet a bored teen who probably worked the night shift. ¡°Welcome to Starbucks¡­ can I help you?¡± the teen said in a monotone voice, clearly expressing displeasure of standing around for three hours. ¡°Yes. Can I get a no foam latte with whip cream, with two packets of splenda, a touch of vanilla syrup, two pumps of caramel, and a dose of cinnamon at exactly 150 degrees? (I didn¡¯t even practice that! Ok, fine but I only practiced a little) Oh yeah, and this cookie.¡± He stared at me blankly, ¡°Okay, so you want a latte with that choco cookie? What size do you want the latte?¡± He seemed slightly annoyed and confused ¡°Oh, no, no, no. I wanted a no foam latte with whip cream, with two packets of splenda, a touch of vanilla syrup, two pumps of caramel, and a dose of cinnamon at exactly 150 degrees.¡± ¡°So what size do you want your drink in.¡± ¡°Just gimme the big one! Did you get my order?¡± I was now getting impatient with this nasal-voiced employee. ¡°Alrighty now¡­ do you want a tall, grande, venti?¡± ¡°Grande is fine. Did you get my ord-¡± ¡°What¡¯s your name miss?¡± ¡°Valerie. About my-¡± ¡°Your drink will be ready soon, please wait.¡± I sighed¡­ this stupid worker. I felt so frustrated by the employee, however eating the cookie while I pretended it was his stupid face helped. The drink takes like two minutes to make and I didn¡¯t have anything to do, so I just took out my phone and started scrolling through Instagram. ¡°Latte for Valerie!¡± the guy called out. I went and got my cup. ¡°Thank you,¡± I replied, trying to be kind as I normally am. I took a sip, ¡°Hey! This has foam in it!? I-¡± ¡°Ma¡¯am, I¡¯ve been working here since 4 o¡¯clock, so can it miss!¡± I sighed and went to sit outside. The sunset was beautiful tonight. It was relaxing. A single chair and table were outside for the customers, I took it and sat down. I set my cup down, only than realizing that the worker had spelled my name like: mAllry. I sighed again. Since I still had my phone out, I thought it would be pretty funny to post the picture on Snapchat. Little did I know that misspelled names at Starbucks were most common in America (Just kidding, we have Starbucks in Canada). I whipped out the picture option and snapped a photo. Wait. I needed to get the angle and lighting right! I snapped another snapshot, bingo. I sipped the last remnants of my latte, threw it in the trash, and started walking back home. I strolled along Main and headed back. It was a peaceful walk, well¡­ Ok, maybe not. First, I had to stop by 7-Eleven and get some Sour Patch candy¡­ and a bag of Swedish Fish¡­ and some Fanta for whenever. I kinda have a problem, my Mom says I have a sweet tooth. My dad says that he had the same problem back when he was a kid. My doctor says if I want to not get type-two diabetes, I should lay off the candy. So instead of Sour Patch, I got Reese''s, which has peanut butter (which is healthy). And so there I was, drifting around like a hummingbird who''s had too much nectar, when suddenly my phone buzzed. It was mom wondering where I was, it was 8:19 and honey you''ve gotta come home right now. With a sigh, I shuffled home, as if an invisible mom was right behind me. With a whip. I texted mom, K i¡¯ll be home in a few I purposely did my ¡°slow walk¡± which is where you take like one step that¡¯s an inch ahead, and then another, and than you stop and check for more texts. I definitely recommend it to all you desperate teens. I put in my headphones and started playing with the filters on Snapchat. I decided I could either take the picture of the misspelled Starbucks cup and make it either barf rainbows or poop unicorns. Ok you might say you really don''t need a filter for a misspelled name on a Starbucks cup but whatever I did it anyways. I started hear this really annoying repetitive sound like a siren so I turned up the volume on my headphones and soon some Ariana Grande started blasting through. I tried to block out the noise as I crossed Fitz. Avenue, and continued home. Oh my gosh, I typed, this starbucks employee was the absolute worst, like #Starbu¡­ I stopped typing¡­ time seemed to go into slow motion. An earsplitting noise was coming from the right of me.Can you believe it? I couldn¡¯t even write out #StarbucksFail before something interrupts me. ¡°Can you be quiet for,¡± I looked up and realized that I should¡¯ve listened to those smiley commercials that tell you to not look at your phone while crossing the street. ¡°What the F-¡± A huge ambulance was hurtling straight down the street towards me sirens blaring, honking it¡¯s big fat horn, and lights flashing. AHHHHHHHHH! My brain went into AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I¡¯M PANICKING!!!! mode. And I heard someone screaming (not me at all) my whole body froze like I was a statue and the world''s sounds seemed to fade away. The ambulance had either run me over, or I was dreaming. The pain was bad, it the kind of pain that you never want to feel in your life (although, really, no one wants to feel any sort of pain anyways) It seemed stupid that I would die at this age but I decided I would have the best last words of anyone. ¡°Tell mmmyyyy¡­ eck¡­.¡± and then I died. {Chapter 4 : Jake Peterson} Hello! Psychiatric Hospital Spoiler: Spoiler It''s a spoiler I know what you¡¯re thinking, that I¡¯m an insensitive immature kid who just died and has no perception of reality anymore. That statement is probably like 50% true. I mean you think getting stabbed by a pumpkin is worse? Imagine meeting a sarcastic teenage girl that¡¯s your only hope of escape from this mental institute. Sure I was in shock, but I knew what was really going on. I was either in some sort of weird hospital or I was somewhere that a 13 year old kid should not be. Sure I was acting clueless, but it was a ruse. ¡°What¡¯s up Jeffrey? My man? Sooo¡­ um where are we exactly?¡± I asked politely. ¡°That¡¯s what you¡¯re gonna ask him, seriously?¡± Valerie glared at me in disgust. ¡°Now, now children, let''s not tear each other apart. At least let me tell where you are.¡± said Jeffrey-Whoever, taking no notice of Valerie¡¯s comment. ¡°This place is a metaphysical reality, the beyond of human capacity, a marvel of existence. Young sir, you should not be asking where we are but how we are here. This contains nothing but the mortal soul of life. I would- ¡± ¡°Okay stop saying complicated mumbo-jumbo. Where the hell are we sir,¡± Valerie says cutting him off. ¡°You¡¯re dead and this is the Afturlife. It¡¯s rude to talk back you know, Valerie Desmarais,¡± Mr. David replies looking a bit annoyed at Valerie. ¡°Ok, great, so we¡¯re dead and in the Afterlife. Is this Heaven or Hell?¡± Valerie shoots back. ¡°Ah ha ha ha! Kids these days! Listen this place defies human knowledge right? But it¡¯s not heaven or hell. The close-minded come here and see it as heaven, the criminals as hell¡­ if you¡¯re religious that is. This places- we think- only makes sense to you if you have the perception to think outside the box. Religious folks come here and see whatever they want to see, after all they are dead and technically they¡¯re minds can¡¯t even acknowledge this place. However, everyone knows this is the Afturlife. Please spell it with an ¡°U¡±. The businesses would sue us if we named it with an ¡°E¡±. Anyways, did you get all that?¡± ¡°No,¡± Valerie and I both say in unison. Valerie looks and me and suddenly says, ¡°Oops I have to tie my shoe! You guys go on ahead. Jake can watch over me in case I escape. HAHAHA!¡± She laughs like it¡¯s funniest thing she¡¯s ever heard. I look at her interestedly. ¡°Ughh. Fine. I¡¯ll stay and make sure the baby doesn¡¯t crawl away.¡± I snicker. ¡°Just kidding Val. Can I call you Val?¡± She glares at me, ¡°Only my family and close friends call me Val. So¡­ no.¡± Than she bends down and slowly starts to tie her shoe. Mr. David and the big-mustached guy both shrug and start to walk away. I continue to stare curiously at Val. What is she up up to? ¡°Well don¡¯t just stand there Jake. C¡¯mon, bend down onto your knee and pretend you¡¯re tying your shoe too.¡± Valerie mutters. I bend down and poke at my shoelace. ¡°This is some grade-A weird-class shit, Jacob,¡± She whispers into my ear, startling me. ¡°What should we do to escape?¡± I stare at her, dumbfounded. ¡°Umm, well,¡± I stutter. ¡°I wasn¡¯t really thinking of escape, but now that you¡¯re thinking of it I guess we should. And shit is a bad word.¡± ¡°You just said it yourself Jake. So cut the crap.¡± ¡°I-I¡­ we¡¯re getting off task here! I mean I guess we just wait for the right moment. But don¡¯t you think we are dead?¡± I ask. She sighs and looks directly into my eyes, ¡°Jake, what other choice do you have right now? As for what I think? I think we¡¯re gonna bust the heck outta here. And you¡¯re gonna help me. Do you think it¡¯s just a coincidence that we both landed here. I mean we live near each other! Two kids dying on the same day at the same time is crazy? I plan to find out. It¡¯s up to you to make a choice, stick with me or survive in this place.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s just catch up to Mr. David. I want to consider all my options before escaping,¡± I reply as diplomatically as I can. This girl was starting to annoy me. We both got up and caught up to Big-Mustache-Man and Mr. David. They were mingling next to a room called Registration. ¡°So¡­ um, I never got your name mister,¡± I asked Big-Mustache-Man nonchalantly like nothing had happened. Big-Mustache-Man looked at me in surprise, like he just realized I existed. He than shook his head and muttered, ¡°Stanley. My name is Stanley.¡± ¡°That¡¯s great! So Mr. David what do we do next?¡± I said cheerfully. Mr. David smiled, ¡°Son, there¡¯s no need to call me Mister, just call me Jeff. I¡¯m glad you¡¯re taking this all in stride. I know dealing with this stuff is hard. As for next? I want you to follow me Jake. I can tell you¡¯re an excellent young man with a bright future here.¡± I gulped worriedly and exchanged looks at Valerie. Valerie looked at me and then quickly asked, ¡°What about me?¡± ¡°Oh letsee¡­ you can go with Stanley! Valerie, I want you to get comfortable and Stanley will show where your accommodations will be. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll see Jake soon, okay?¡± he said with too much enthusiasm, then whispered something to Stanley. Something was definitely going on. ¡°Hold up hold up. What¡¯s going on? I want answers people. So, Jeff I want you to explain everything that¡¯s going on okay?¡± Valerie sweetly asked with a fake grin. Jeffery sighed, ¡°Did you not even listen to my extremely well written and practiced 5 steps to realizing your dead speech?¡± Jeffrey asked. This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.¡°Nope, but I listened to Stanley¡¯s speech, and boy let me tell you, that was some convincing B.S,¡± Valerie snorted. Jeffrey rolled his eyes. ¡°Hey wait? Did you just roll your eyes at me?¡± Jeffrey sighed, ¡°Listen kids, since your minors, you technically can¡¯t go willy-nilly all over the Afturlife. And¡­ especially at this, ahem, particular time. Y¡¯see, recent events have caused some panic over the Afrturlife.¡± I suddenly became intrigued. And also worried. ¡°So what¡¯s been going on? Something easy-going and friendly like, oh I don¡¯t know, a 50% discount on bacon? Are we going to be eternally happy or something? Or something worse like-¡± Jeffrey cut me off in the middle of my sentence. His confidence seemed to sag as he explained, ¡°The president of the Afturlife, the man who lead all five realms of the Afturlife¡­ was¡­ was¡­¡± ¡°Tortured with vegan bacon? What! What! Tell us man!¡± I said, exasperated, and also hungry from all the talk about bacon. ¡°Assassinated.¡± ¡°¡®Kay, that¡¯s, well that¡¯s, umm,¡± a bit unexpected¡­ ¡°Hey wait, I have a question.¡± Said Valerie ¡°How is a dead guy dead or is he not dead?¡± ¡°Well that¡¯s the thing isn¡¯t it? There¡¯s been rumors about people mysteriously disappearing into some sort of unknown place. Some people call it the abyss, some call it the Black Hole, and some folks say that it¡¯s a 100 to 500 foot toilet bowl of pure cyanide alcamidium called Tubby. Well, actually nobody calls it the latter one, I just made it up. You get the point. Suddenly Jeffrey stopped chattering, I looked up to see a huge building with many layers. It was by far the largest building we had seen yet. People flowed in and out of the huge towering doors and the noise of people talking and discussing could be heard from where we were about 100 feet away (Sorry anyone who uses the metric system, anyone not American *cough* Valerie * cough* Canadians *cough*). Why am I coughing in my brain? ¡°Kind of leaves you awed, eh?¡± commented Jeffery ¡°This is the Dumb Realm senate house, each realm has one it is essentially the heart of each realm. We walked up to the crowd of people and attempted to force our way through, surprisingly the large sight of Jeffery seemed to make most people move out of our way and we quickly made it to the front door. We entered into a spacious white room adorned with colors of red and yellow. Jefferey led us to a long desk across the left side of the room, the desk had many receptionists talking, writing, reading, and generally just working. ¡°Heeeeey Linda---,¡± started Jeffery. ¡°Bug off,¡± said a tall caucasian woman who I assumed was Linda. ¡°Aw, don¡¯t sweat Linda. I actually have an excuse for coming here this time,¡± Jeffery tried to explain, ¡°these kids here¡­¡± ¡°Huh?¡± Linda looked up and flashed us a smile, ¡°Oh hi kids! My name is Linda, I hope Jeffery has been treating you okay.¡± she said as she glared at him as if he was psycho child murderer. ¡°Um, yeah! We just got here!¡± I spoke up. ¡°Oh newcomers!¡± Linda squealed. ¡°Cool beans! Can have you names and way of death please?¡± ¡°Valerie Desmarais and way of death? I got killed by an ambulance while texting.¡± Valerie said smoothly. ¡°Oh, why are you here?¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°Oh well usually when people come here they have died in some pretty dumb ways, for instance I died when I stuck my hand in a spinning blender.¡± What kind of psycho sticks their hand in a blender that''s turned on? I mean it''s obviously stupider than getting stabbed by a pumpkin I thought. ¡°Okayyy¡­ well, my name is Jake Peterson and I was stabbed by a pumpkin,¡± I said, just trying to change the subject. ¡°Oh well first let me put Valerie''s death into the rating machine.¡± ¡°What do you mean rating machine? You rate people''s deaths?¡± ¡°Of course we do! We''re not anti social savages who have no need of an extreme social ladder.¡± I stared at her blankly. Meanwhile Valerie looked at Linda with her best you''re-serious-bro expression. ¡°I''m just kidding silly, really it''s simple your death is rated on a scale of 1 - 10 on how stupid or ironic etc. it is.¡± ¡°But how can the machine rate a death if it doesn''t even know the whole story?¡± asked Valerie philosophically. ¡°Oh the rating machine analyzes the energy that comes from your entrance into the afturlife and collects the data and puts together a rating. Crazy huh? Anyways Valerie your rating is a 4.2.¡± ¡°Aw why¡¯s mine so low?¡± ¡°I don''t know but I want to check Jake¡¯s death, it sounded pretty stupid.¡± ¡°Fine,¡± Valerie huffed, ¡°I didn''t want a stupid death anyways.¡± At that point Linda stopped and then subsequently yelped, ¡°Ahhhhhh!! Oh-my- gosh!!! Your rating is so high! It''s a like a 9.8!¡± She exclaimed excitedly and turned her computer screen to face us. ¡°Why is his so high? All he did was get stabbed by a pumpkin!¡± Valerie grumbled. Linda raised her eyebrows, ¡°Have you ever heard of a person getting stabbed by a pumpkin? A pumpkin! A pumpkin that you make into pie and carve into jack o¡¯ lanterns? I mean that¡¯s just STUPID! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!¡± My face was flushed with embarrassment. I mean it was like 30 minutes into my afterlife and I was being publically humiliated. Linda noticed my tomato-red face. ¡°Oh, don¡¯t be embarrassed. We¡¯ve all died stupidly in one way or another. Everyone you come across here has probably died in a totally humiliating way. So you should be proud!¡± she said considerately. ¡°Yeah, proud. Those are the emotions going through my head. I just died and have severed every connection to the outside world, but nooooo. Some lady I¡¯ve never met says I should be proud that I got stabbed by a pumpkin!¡± I scoffed at my own acceptance of this. Here I was in a supposed ¡°Afturlife¡± with the annoying girl from across the street talking to two middle-aged people in business suits and a big-mustached guy named Stanley. I was starting to agree with Valerie, maybe we should try and escape. {Chapter 4 : Jake Peterson} Hello! Psychiatric Hospital Spoiler: Spoiler It''s a spoiler I know what you¡¯re thinking, that I¡¯m an insensitive immature kid who just died and has no perception of reality anymore. That statement is probably like 50% true. I mean you think getting stabbed by a pumpkin is worse? Imagine meeting a sarcastic teenage girl that¡¯s your only hope of escape from this mental institute. Sure I was in shock, but I knew what was really going on. I was either in some sort of weird hospital or I was somewhere that a 13 year old kid should not be. Sure I was acting clueless, but it was a ruse. ¡°What¡¯s up Jeffrey? My man? Sooo¡­ um where are we exactly?¡± I asked politely. ¡°That¡¯s what you¡¯re gonna ask him, seriously?¡± Valerie glared at me in disgust. ¡°Now, now children, let''s not tear each other apart. At least let me tell where you are.¡± said Jeffrey-Whoever, taking no notice of Valerie¡¯s comment. ¡°This place is a metaphysical reality, the beyond of human capacity, a marvel of existence. Young sir, you should not be asking where we are but how we are here. This contains nothing but the mortal soul of life. I would- ¡± ¡°Okay stop saying complicated mumbo-jumbo. Where the hell are we sir,¡± Valerie says cutting him off. ¡°You¡¯re dead and this is the Afturlife. It¡¯s rude to talk back you know, Valerie Desmarais,¡± Mr. David replies looking a bit annoyed at Valerie. ¡°Ok, great, so we¡¯re dead and in the Afterlife. Is this Heaven or Hell?¡± Valerie shoots back. ¡°Ah ha ha ha! Kids these days! Listen this place defies human knowledge right? But it¡¯s not heaven or hell. The close-minded come here and see it as heaven, the criminals as hell¡­ if you¡¯re religious that is. This places- we think- only makes sense to you if you have the perception to think outside the box. Religious folks come here and see whatever they want to see, after all they are dead and technically they¡¯re minds can¡¯t even acknowledge this place. However, everyone knows this is the Afturlife. Please spell it with an ¡°U¡±. The businesses would sue us if we named it with an ¡°E¡±. Anyways, did you get all that?¡± ¡°No,¡± Valerie and I both say in unison. Valerie looks and me and suddenly says, ¡°Oops I have to tie my shoe! You guys go on ahead. Jake can watch over me in case I escape. HAHAHA!¡± She laughs like it¡¯s funniest thing she¡¯s ever heard. I look at her interestedly. ¡°Ughh. Fine. I¡¯ll stay and make sure the baby doesn¡¯t crawl away.¡± I snicker. ¡°Just kidding Val. Can I call you Val?¡± She glares at me, ¡°Only my family and close friends call me Val. So¡­ no.¡± Than she bends down and slowly starts to tie her shoe. Mr. David and the big-mustached guy both shrug and start to walk away. I continue to stare curiously at Val. What is she up up to? ¡°Well don¡¯t just stand there Jake. C¡¯mon, bend down onto your knee and pretend you¡¯re tying your shoe too.¡± Valerie mutters. I bend down and poke at my shoelace. ¡°This is some grade-A weird-class shit, Jacob,¡± She whispers into my ear, startling me. ¡°What should we do to escape?¡± I stare at her, dumbfounded. ¡°Umm, well,¡± I stutter. ¡°I wasn¡¯t really thinking of escape, but now that you¡¯re thinking of it I guess we should. And shit is a bad word.¡± ¡°You just said it yourself Jake. So cut the crap.¡± ¡°I-I¡­ we¡¯re getting off task here! I mean I guess we just wait for the right moment. But don¡¯t you think we are dead?¡± I ask. She sighs and looks directly into my eyes, ¡°Jake, what other choice do you have right now? As for what I think? I think we¡¯re gonna bust the heck outta here. And you¡¯re gonna help me. Do you think it¡¯s just a coincidence that we both landed here. I mean we live near each other! Two kids dying on the same day at the same time is crazy? I plan to find out. It¡¯s up to you to make a choice, stick with me or survive in this place.¡± ¡°Let¡¯s just catch up to Mr. David. I want to consider all my options before escaping,¡± I reply as diplomatically as I can. This girl was starting to annoy me. We both got up and caught up to Big-Mustache-Man and Mr. David. They were mingling next to a room called Registration. ¡°So¡­ um, I never got your name mister,¡± I asked Big-Mustache-Man nonchalantly like nothing had happened. Big-Mustache-Man looked at me in surprise, like he just realized I existed. He than shook his head and muttered, ¡°Stanley. My name is Stanley.¡± ¡°That¡¯s great! So Mr. David what do we do next?¡± I said cheerfully. Mr. David smiled, ¡°Son, there¡¯s no need to call me Mister, just call me Jeff. I¡¯m glad you¡¯re taking this all in stride. I know dealing with this stuff is hard. As for next? I want you to follow me Jake. I can tell you¡¯re an excellent young man with a bright future here.¡± I gulped worriedly and exchanged looks at Valerie. Valerie looked at me and then quickly asked, ¡°What about me?¡± ¡°Oh letsee¡­ you can go with Stanley! Valerie, I want you to get comfortable and Stanley will show where your accommodations will be. I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll see Jake soon, okay?¡± he said with too much enthusiasm, then whispered something to Stanley. Something was definitely going on. ¡°Hold up hold up. What¡¯s going on? I want answers people. So, Jeff I want you to explain everything that¡¯s going on okay?¡± Valerie sweetly asked with a fake grin. Jeffery sighed, ¡°Did you not even listen to my extremely well written and practiced 5 steps to realizing your dead speech?¡± Jeffrey asked. If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.¡°Nope, but I listened to Stanley¡¯s speech, and boy let me tell you, that was some convincing B.S,¡± Valerie snorted. Jeffrey rolled his eyes. ¡°Hey wait? Did you just roll your eyes at me?¡± Jeffrey sighed, ¡°Listen kids, since your minors, you technically can¡¯t go willy-nilly all over the Afturlife. And¡­ especially at this, ahem, particular time. Y¡¯see, recent events have caused some panic over the Afrturlife.¡± I suddenly became intrigued. And also worried. ¡°So what¡¯s been going on? Something easy-going and friendly like, oh I don¡¯t know, a 50% discount on bacon? Are we going to be eternally happy or something? Or something worse like-¡± Jeffrey cut me off in the middle of my sentence. His confidence seemed to sag as he explained, ¡°The president of the Afturlife, the man who lead all five realms of the Afturlife¡­ was¡­ was¡­¡± ¡°Tortured with vegan bacon? What! What! Tell us man!¡± I said, exasperated, and also hungry from all the talk about bacon. ¡°Assassinated.¡± ¡°¡®Kay, that¡¯s, well that¡¯s, umm,¡± a bit unexpected¡­ ¡°Hey wait, I have a question.¡± Said Valerie ¡°How is a dead guy dead or is he not dead?¡± ¡°Well that¡¯s the thing isn¡¯t it? There¡¯s been rumors about people mysteriously disappearing into some sort of unknown place. Some people call it the abyss, some call it the Black Hole, and some folks say that it¡¯s a 100 to 500 foot toilet bowl of pure cyanide alcamidium called Tubby. Well, actually nobody calls it the latter one, I just made it up. You get the point. Suddenly Jeffrey stopped chattering, I looked up to see a huge building with many layers. It was by far the largest building we had seen yet. People flowed in and out of the huge towering doors and the noise of people talking and discussing could be heard from where we were about 100 feet away (Sorry anyone who uses the metric system, anyone not American *cough* Valerie * cough* Canadians *cough*). Why am I coughing in my brain? ¡°Kind of leaves you awed, eh?¡± commented Jeffery ¡°This is the Dumb Realm senate house, each realm has one it is essentially the heart of each realm. We walked up to the crowd of people and attempted to force our way through, surprisingly the large sight of Jeffery seemed to make most people move out of our way and we quickly made it to the front door. We entered into a spacious white room adorned with colors of red and yellow. Jefferey led us to a long desk across the left side of the room, the desk had many receptionists talking, writing, reading, and generally just working. ¡°Heeeeey Linda---,¡± started Jeffery. ¡°Bug off,¡± said a tall caucasian woman who I assumed was Linda. ¡°Aw, don¡¯t sweat Linda. I actually have an excuse for coming here this time,¡± Jeffery tried to explain, ¡°these kids here¡­¡± ¡°Huh?¡± Linda looked up and flashed us a smile, ¡°Oh hi kids! My name is Linda, I hope Jeffery has been treating you okay.¡± she said as she glared at him as if he was psycho child murderer. ¡°Um, yeah! We just got here!¡± I spoke up. ¡°Oh newcomers!¡± Linda squealed. ¡°Cool beans! Can have you names and way of death please?¡± ¡°Valerie Desmarais and way of death? I got killed by an ambulance while texting.¡± Valerie said smoothly. ¡°Oh, why are you here?¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°Oh well usually when people come here they have died in some pretty dumb ways, for instance I died when I stuck my hand in a spinning blender.¡± What kind of psycho sticks their hand in a blender that''s turned on? I mean it''s obviously stupider than getting stabbed by a pumpkin I thought. ¡°Okayyy¡­ well, my name is Jake Peterson and I was stabbed by a pumpkin,¡± I said, just trying to change the subject. ¡°Oh well first let me put Valerie''s death into the rating machine.¡± ¡°What do you mean rating machine? You rate people''s deaths?¡± ¡°Of course we do! We''re not anti social savages who have no need of an extreme social ladder.¡± I stared at her blankly. Meanwhile Valerie looked at Linda with her best you''re-serious-bro expression. ¡°I''m just kidding silly, really it''s simple your death is rated on a scale of 1 - 10 on how stupid or ironic etc. it is.¡± ¡°But how can the machine rate a death if it doesn''t even know the whole story?¡± asked Valerie philosophically. ¡°Oh the rating machine analyzes the energy that comes from your entrance into the afturlife and collects the data and puts together a rating. Crazy huh? Anyways Valerie your rating is a 4.2.¡± ¡°Aw why¡¯s mine so low?¡± ¡°I don''t know but I want to check Jake¡¯s death, it sounded pretty stupid.¡± ¡°Fine,¡± Valerie huffed, ¡°I didn''t want a stupid death anyways.¡± At that point Linda stopped and then subsequently yelped, ¡°Ahhhhhh!! Oh-my- gosh!!! Your rating is so high! It''s a like a 9.8!¡± She exclaimed excitedly and turned her computer screen to face us. ¡°Why is his so high? All he did was get stabbed by a pumpkin!¡± Valerie grumbled. Linda raised her eyebrows, ¡°Have you ever heard of a person getting stabbed by a pumpkin? A pumpkin! A pumpkin that you make into pie and carve into jack o¡¯ lanterns? I mean that¡¯s just STUPID! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!¡± My face was flushed with embarrassment. I mean it was like 30 minutes into my afterlife and I was being publically humiliated. Linda noticed my tomato-red face. ¡°Oh, don¡¯t be embarrassed. We¡¯ve all died stupidly in one way or another. Everyone you come across here has probably died in a totally humiliating way. So you should be proud!¡± she said considerately. ¡°Yeah, proud. Those are the emotions going through my head. I just died and have severed every connection to the outside world, but nooooo. Some lady I¡¯ve never met says I should be proud that I got stabbed by a pumpkin!¡± I scoffed at my own acceptance of this. Here I was in a supposed ¡°Afturlife¡± with the annoying girl from across the street talking to two middle-aged people in business suits and a big-mustached guy named Stanley. I was starting to agree with Valerie, maybe we should try and escape. {Chapter 5: Jake Peterson} Dumb, Stupid, Idiotic, and Laughable Apparently I¡¯m now the most famous dead person since Elvis Presley. I know because Linda just screamed it in my face. Back when I was alive, I was a pretty socially awkward kid. One day in my Literature class we had to write a short letter to someone on why you admire them. It was to be sent to anyone that was not your parent. Some kids sent it to a celebrity or their sibling, however I sent it to one my fellow classmates. Her name was Ellie Fross, and it¡¯s not like I had a crush on her, but I did admire here for her perseverance as she got her appendix removed. It just happened to be my letter that got read out to the entire class. Mrs. Mondelez thought I had shown ¡°exceptional effort and an advanced understanding of formatting and writing letters¡±, which was bullcrap. I did get an A+, but every time me and Ellie are in the same room some idiot will make a stupid comment. Now I won¡¯t go into what was in the letter, but let me tell you that 8th graders have the maturity level of a drunk 6-year old. Anyways that¡¯s how I know how being publically humiliated for a good reason feels like. Linda recommended to me that I should get an audience with The Council, and before I could reply she had already gone and we had no choice but to follow her. Linda, Valerie, Jeff, Stanley, and I walked down a long plush corridor towards a large oaken door guarded by a fat looking security guard reading a newspaper. ¡°State your business.¡± droned the lazy security guard. I looked closer at his name tag and read the guard''s name, Fred. ¡°Never mind, stop right there,¡± stated Fred ¡°I really don''t care, just leave now. The Council is busy right now. ¡± ¡°But I need an audience with the council!¡± I tried to explain. ¡°Nope no can do kid...¡± began the guard. Linda interrupted, ¡°This kid¡¯s an exception. I have a level 5 security clearance. Let him in.¡± ¡°And, I have 9.8 rating!¡± I said trying to get past the guard. ¡°And, he''s really derpy!¡± added Valerie. ¡°Not helping! And that is not a word!¡± I said glaring at Valerie. The guard peered over his glasses at us. ¡°I don''t believe you,¡± He said pointedly, ¡°before I call security that is¡± ¡°Aren''t you security?¡± Said Valerie a bit confused. ¡°Oh, yeah I forgot, sometimes I do that,¡± said the guard who was now completely nonplussed. ¡°Ah well anyways you can¡¯t pass, there is no way you kids got an audience with the-¡± ¡°The council is waiting Fred,¡± we heard a voice say, and then the door opened. Just like that. No one had opened it by hand and no one was within 20 feet of the door. At best it was surprising, and at worst it was horror-movie creepy. Besides, who would want to talk to me so badly? Man, these people must be dumber than I thought. I gulped and looked the others. Jeff seemed blown away by the turn of events and Stanley looked back at me and shrugged. ¡°Yo Jeff can I go now, or should I stick around?¡± Stanley asked. It¡¯s pretty late and I¡¯m working overtime.¡± Jeff promptly replied, ¡°Ah-duh-wha?¡± Stanley raised his eyebrows in confusion. ¡°I¡¯ll take that as a yes,¡± He grumbled. Stanley strolled to the elevator (I guess they have elevators in the Afturlife) and waved goodbye. His hulking body took up the entire elevator, much to the displeasure of the stuffy uptight government officials already inside. ¡°Thanks Stanley! Peace out dude!¡± Valerie called out as we headed inside the giant oak doors of the council. I was nervous and also amused at the same time. I wonder how dumb you had to be to be in the council. Maybe one of the members had died while trying to brush teeth on the toilet. The thought it made me giggle like a five-year old. Valerie looked at me oddly. I couldn¡¯t care less about social issues since I was dead. As we walked past the security guard¡¯s desk, I glanced at the security guard¡¯s newspaper. The newspaper was called the New Dead Times, and on it, it read: Huh, I guess even when you¡¯re dead there¡¯s still a lot of politics and crime. I caught up to Jeff and asked him, ¡°Hey Jeff, what¡¯s the Maximus Office?¡± Jeff looked back at me, ¡°It¡¯s the main office for the Important Realm, where important people go. Why do you ask?¡± ¡°Oh¡­ I just saw that newspaper headline, it was weird. Some guy from the Maximus Office suddenly disappeared.¡± Jeffrey looked up and for a brief second I saw panic in his face. He quickly went back to his usual business-like attitude and casually said , ¡°Oh really? Hmm¡­ well nobody actually disappears in the Afturlife. Usually if you¡¯re ready to move on to the next stage, than you can go to your local government office and get a Departicket. You have to check in and than the Abyss will take you away.¡± ¡°What¡¯s the abyss?¡± ¡°It¡¯s whatever¡¯s next in life. It¡¯s, well, who really knows? Just like how nobody knows about the Afturlife when they¡¯re living, nobody knows about the Abyss,¡± Jeff spoke solemnly, as if he was talking at a funeral. ¡°Well, come now. The council¡¯s waiting, you should focus on kinder topics,¡± he managed a smile, and with that, the conversation was over. The great oak doors of the council had opened and revealed a hallway. There were multiple doors in the hallway with labels like, Abernathy Chrome: Chairman of the Twitter Counsel, and Dana Mulstein: Board of the Public Relations. However at the end of the hall, there was an enormous sign reading, Conference Room For Council Members of the Dumb Realm Only -Various Refreshments will be Provided!- Our party was already attracting attention with its conspicuous look among the office workers. However it seemed that everyone was subdued, and as Fred the security guard knocked on the door (nervously), our small party looked at each and seemed to wonder how in the world we got here. Valerie looked at us, took a deep breath, and shouted, ¡°C¡¯mon sissies! Open the friggin door already!¡± I looked at her in apprehension than knocked on the door. Silence ensued for the next ten seconds. Did the council not want to see me? Was it a false alarm? Was it just a prank? Of course not, I thought reasonably. Then, the door suddenly banged open. This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon. ¡°Whaddya want,¡± a snotty nosed man with a bad comb-over snarled into Jeffrey¡¯s face. He suddenly saw me and changed face in about a millisecond. ¡°Oh! Mr. Peterson! Hello Hello! Come in, come in! I guess you can bring your¡­ more unsavory companions in,¡± he motioned at the others. ¡°That¡¯s right Jackson, me, a respected member of your office for thirty-five years, and I¡¯m an ¡®unsavory companion¡¯. Go in Jake, there might be more honorable members of the council we can talk too,¡± Jeff retorted. He strided past Jackson- the bad-comb over dude- and into a stunning room. Well, no, actually it looked quite run-down. A big conference table ran down the middle of the room on it was a bowl of stale looking pretzels, well there goes my idea of nice refreshments. Seated at the table were a multitude of stuffy-looking people with placards labeling them as people such as Eric Baldwin. The room had high windows only allowing for slanted lighting, perfectly illuminating the dusty interior of the room and giving the impression of a cathedral. Jackson briskly walked past an awe-struck Jeff and stepped onto a wooden podium. ¡°Good evening gentleman. This boy here, is in fact¡­¡± he paused for dramatic effect. However before he could do that I walked onto the podium and nudged Jackson away. I don¡¯t know what I was thinking, but I needed answers. ¡°Hi I¡¯m Jake Peterson.¡± I managed to stammer out. Jackson walked back down and plopped his butt on an expensive looking chair. He sighed and looked at me like I was five, ¡°You talk to when talked to son. This is the council of a realm you¡¯re talking to, not a - Oh, I don¡¯t know what you kids are into - a corner liquor store you ¡®hang¡¯ with some ¡®chill¡¯ buds.¡± This guy was like my health class teacher. I''m a teenager, not some little kid! I mean, I turned 13 like two months ago! Geez dude. ¡°Oh give it a rest Jackson he¡¯s only a young boy.¡± Said a tall woman who¡¯s placard labeled her as Juliette. That''s right Jackson! In Your face uh huh uh huh! Ok¡­ maybe I got a bit carried away. I realized everyone was still staring at me, and now mumbling amongst themselves. A man in the middle of table directed for his fellow council members to be quiet. ¡°Now that you¡¯re done showing of your dance moves, let¡¯s proceed with this hearing,¡± he said. As he was shuffling through his papers, he peered over his glasses, ¡°So you''re here on account that your rating is¡­¡± he paused. ¡° high, in most circumstances this would not be an excuse to come before the council. However it is abnormally high.¡± I decided I didn''t like this guy. ¡°With a rating of 9.8 you are entitled to be a honored guest. The council can¡¯t provide you with money or special rewards, since you are still a minor. You are lucky, because the council has generously awarded you to go on a trip to see the rest of the Afturlife including all 5 sectors. It is part of our young scholars program, which has a rigorous acceptance process and is the chosen award from our council. ¡± ¡°What so I won a trip around the underworld, great.¡± I muttered sarcastically. ¡°You may also bring one friend and all expenses will be paid. Is all the information previously told understood?¡± ¡°Yeah,¡± was my only reply. One problem is just that, well, I don¡¯t really have any friends yet! I just died! I mean, possibly, maybe Valerie? She¡¯s hardly my friend though, perhaps an acquaintance, and an annoying one at that. ¡°Dismissed!¡± Was all I heard as I was showed out of the room by a guard. Great that was the high and mighty ¡°Council¡±, they were more like group of stuck-up idiots. I guess they lived dumb lives, so it makes sense that all of them acted kind of clueless. I mean, I met with them for like, two minutes and learned that two probably didn¡¯t like me, and half of them didn¡¯t even talk. As I walked down the hallway all I felt was a sense of sadness. I wasn¡¯t especially close to my family, but family is family. I was starting to feel rather helpless in this new world, or secret government project. I was just a kid with no connections, how was I supposed to live in this new world all by myself? Teenagers often want more freedom, but I¡¯m not sure that I want anymore freedom if freedom is being lost in the crazy mesh pot that is the world. Freedom? Meh, who needs freedom, when you¡¯re happy. ¡°Wow! So kid who are you going to invite on your trip around the world?¡± says Jeffrey interrupting my brooding. ¡°It¡¯s a big thing you know to be invited on a tour like that, plus you can make new friends! There¡¯s some neat kids from all the different sectors every trip.¡± ¡°Yeah, well the council made it feel like a real trip.¡± I muttered darkly. ¡°Yeah well at least you¡¯ll be with me the dazzling Valerie!¡± ¡°Who said I was inviting you?¡± ¡°Me, duh.¡± Was her last comment before running ahead to look at something. ¡°I just hope you¡¯re safe with all these disappearances and stuff going on, just downright fishy to me. Oops forget I said anything, nevermind.¡± Jeffrey said awkwardly suddenly very enamored with his boots. Great now I''m going on a trip to who knows where with an annoying acquaintance and some random kids who with my luck are even more annoying than a certain someone. I''m looking at a trip with some monkeys a slight chance of death. Well as someone probably said, take it in stride and the monkeys hopefully won¡¯t eat you. ¡°So,¡± I said running to catch up with Jake, ¡°why are you so sad? You did win some stuff I mean you¡¯re lucks been better than mine.¡± ¡°I dunno, just sad I guess. I mean we won¡¯t get to see my old friends anymore unless they die and our family too.¡± He replied not really concentrated on the conversation. ¡°We¡¯ll isn¡¯t freedom what teenagers want?¡± ¡°Yeah but too much freedom is really as great as I thought.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not saying I don¡¯t miss my friends but cheer up we can meet new people And make new friends!¡± Jake turns away clearly no longer wishing to discuss the topic. He must be suffering from depression Or some other illness meant for old people. He''s just so boring and sad compared to when I first met him. Maybe he¡¯s just dealing with the fact that he died in his own way, I mean it¡¯s a pretty big deal! I turn to Jeffrey asking him a question, ¡°Why do ya think Jake is so boohoo?¡± ¡°Well some people deal with something most people around here called death-pression. It¡¯s just depression from being dead and stuff.¡± Wow guess I was right, Jake is suffering from depression, I''m gonna go tell him! {Chapter 6: Valerie Desmarais} A Nice Stroll With Dead People Chapter 6 Valerie Desmarais A Nice Stroll With Dead People ¡°So,¡± I said running to catch up with Jake, ¡°why are you so sad? You did win some stuff I mean you¡¯re lucks been better than mine.¡± ¡°I dunno, just sad I guess. I mean we won¡¯t get to see my old friends anymore unless they die and our family too.¡± He replied not really concentrated on the conversation. ¡°We¡¯ll isn¡¯t freedom what teenagers want?¡± ¡°Yeah but too much freedom is really as great as I thought.¡± Jake turns away clearly no longer wishing to discuss the topic. He must be suffering from depression, but I guess I am too. Who wouldn¡¯t be sad after dying so young, besides Jake probably misses the good comforts of home. Plus he was nice enough to invite me on the tour, so that''s commendable. We are currently making our way to the basic dormitory where Jeffrey says we¡¯ll be staying for the night before we leave on the trip. We¡¯ll also stay there for the rest of our lives unless we can afford something nicer or we decide to move on. I almost had a heart attack when Jeffrey told me that clothes here don¡¯t get dirty because I thought I would have to be stuck in the same clothes for the rest of my time here, but Jeffrey even gave me 10 shiny white coins to spend, about enough to buy a few snacks or a shirt, nothing fancy. Jeff explained that they were called ACE coins or ACES. ACES apparently stand for Advanced Currency Export System, which is basically slang for a currency that¡¯s fit for anyone. There are white, grey, silver, and gold coins. There are no dollar bills since, apparently, because there are no trees that make regular paper. All the trees make are feather paper, a reusable, almost invisible piece of parchment that can be torn apart and then put back together. It¡¯s really not fair since Jake got 500 ACES just for the trip. Even when they gave him a sack of literal gold coins he just muttered something again and took the bag. I hope I can cheer him up, it¡¯s the least I can do since he so generously invited me on this trip. As we walked down the street a small scuffle caught my attention, two men were fighting in a dark alley. The first man swung at the other but missed. The second man having dodged his attack jumped up onto a nearby dumpster and grabbed his opponent''s head slamming it violently against the wall. It was like watching WWE, except it wasn¡¯t fake, and everybody was dead, and that WWE doesn¡¯t even exist in the Afturlife. ¡°Wow is this a common occurrence in the Afturlife?¡± I asked nervously, wondering what would happen if we got caught out in alley like that. ¡°Yeah things like this are becoming more and more common, many people are scared because of recent events like the disappearances of respected officials,¡± Jeffrey replied grimly. The winner of the alley fight staggered out of the alley bleeding heavily from several cuts and looking dazed his shirt in tatters. The man who had won the fight spoke slowly and heavily, but still managed to project his voice across the street. ¡°The beginning of dawn is upon us friends. Many more will slink into the shadows,¡± the man seemed to look straight into my eyes. ¡°The end is near¡± People started to walk faster or look away, because it¡¯s never a good idea to casually stare at homeless, apocalyptic-thinking, junkies that just won a street fight. I mean the guy was a walking, talking New York City billboard. I wouldn¡¯t be surprised if he said, ¡®the end is near, so buy the new Cinnamon Frappuccino at Starbucks¡¯. ¡°What was that about?¡± Jake asked turning to Jeffrey. ¡°Recently there has been a resurgence of a band of rebels, they call themselves The Coming.¡± ¡°Spooky,¡± shivered Jake, ¡°So. How would one um, get in contact with these so called Comings?¡± I kicked him in the shin. ¡°Just um out of curiosity.¡± He said wincing. Jeff stared at us in bewilderment, ¡° Welll¡­ you see these rebels believe that the underworld should give in to chaos, like a world of crime and punishment.¡± ¡°Kind of like the methodical Greek land of Hades or the Greek underworld.¡± I replied. ¡°Why would anyone want their world to be worse?¡± asked Jake, obviously confused, the dim-witted dolt. ¡°They were part of a religion or cult, no one really knows. This group was apparently called the Trump relations project and it was a fairly large religion that was based off the fact that if you didn''t support or appease their deity than you would be sent to the underworld. The leaders were the original founders of this group and when they were in charge of The Coming nobody was that scared because they didn''t have any real power, they threatened to kill people but you can¡¯t actually die in the Afturlife so no one really took them seriously.¡± ¡°Then why are they such a big deal?¡± I asked. ¡°Recently there have been several disappearances of important figures.¡± ¡°Like the Maximus office guy?¡± Jake cut in. ¡°Yeah, The Coming claims to have a new cause and are saying they killed the people who have disappeared.¡± ¡°Why refer to them as disappeared then?¡± ¡°Well it''s mostly because there is no proven way of killing someone in the Afturlife. You can only voluntarily move on to the next stage of life, only one person has attempted to murder someone. It¡¯s common folklore among the people, the man who almost killed someone, but mutilated his soul in the process. His name was [insert scary name here] and he¡¯s like the boogeyman here in the Afturlife. So yeah rumors and other similar things have been stirring up a lot of unrest, also The Coming always leave this symbol at the sites of disappearances it looks like a bloody cross with a split bottom and with wings lining the top. Honestly in my opinion is just downright creepy, these guys kidnapping people and then leaving bloody marks behind.¡± ¡°Yeah that sounds like nonsense to me.¡± Jake said voicing his opinions. ¡°Donald Karloff? Wasn''t that guy like kicked out of presidency so he took over Russia and made a cult or something.¡± A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.¡°Yeah its that guy, he doesn''t really have much to do with the whole situation, though.¡± ¡°Oh my god! Is that what I think it is?¡± Jake practically yelled in excitement, ¡°Is that a mech!¡± ¡°Huh?¡± Was Jeff¡¯s reply ¡°Oh that I guess it could be called a mech, we call them Wyw Robots or W¡¯s for short, they help with manual labor and such.¡± ¡°How does it work? It looks like something straight out of a fantasy book!¡± He said looking excited for the first time in a while. It was about time, who would have guessed that Jake even read books? ¡°W¡¯s run on aero which is a of type mineral we mine here. Aero¡¯s is only found in the Afturlife as far I know, it helps us in many ways such as an energy source as well as just making life easier in general. People who use aero to create things are called Artificers.¡± ¡°What kind of things can they make out of areo?¡± Asked Jake his eyes practically bulging out of their respectful places. ¡°Well they make all sorts of gadgets and tools as well as toys and weapons.¡± ¡°Weapons?¡± I asked nervously ¡°Why do you need weapons if no one can die? Oh and definitely do not let Jake get a weapon.¡± ¡°Jeffrey can I get a weapon?¡± Idiot begged. ¡°Yeah sure there''s a store coming up soon it¡¯s on the way to the tram. To answer your question Valerie, aero weapons act like stunners, or tasers, they won''t hurt anyone but are still useful for enforcing the rules¡± said Jeffrey chuckling. ¡°Hey I said don¡¯t let him get one! Don''t take his side.¡± ¡°So what should I get?¡± Asked Annoying completely ignoring me. ¡°I¡¯ll let you decide.¡± Jeffrey said still smiling.¡±The store is right here,¡± Jake didn''t answer, he was already staring at the countless weapons on display. ¡°Hi my name is Joshua welcome to my aero weapons shop, how can I help you?¡± asked a young man. He had the appearance of a young eccentric, he wore a large trench coat and had large leather boots. He had a fair face and a wide smile. He seemed like a cute guy, but then again, I¡¯ve learned that everybody in the Afturlife is crazy. ¡°Can I have a sword?¡± Asked Jake. ¡°Wow, right to the point! We have several styles but I recommend this one, it¡¯s more of a dagger, but it has a retractable 1-3 foot blade with a unassuming rectangular handle. It''s perfect for just about any citizen because it will fit in your pocket and you don''t need a permit.¡± ¡°Huh why is that, why don''t you need a permit?¡± ¡°Oh! That''s because it a Grade C weapon, meaning that it¡¯s only for self-defense. However we do need a quick background check, just to make sure you¡¯re not a criminal.¡± I guess Jake won¡¯t get the sword because he¡¯s definitely a criminal. ¡°Huh, okay maybe I''ll get it. Valerie what weapon do you want?¡± Jake asked me expectantly. ¡°Well I don''t really want a weapon.¡± ¡°Okay your loss.¡± He said turning away to keep browsing. Ugh¡­ he is SO annoying! In the end Jake decided to buy the sword that Joshua recommended except with a small attachment that allowed it to do ¡°something special¡± (He wouldn''t tell me what it did). It only cost him 10 ACES and now he thinks he is a jedi apparently and won¡¯t stop swinging it around. He even almost gave a heart attack to this elderly looking person, at least I think she was old because she was using a walker. I mean who uses a walker unless their old, it even had tennis balls on the bottom of the legs. Anyways he almost hit her and instead hit her walker causing her to feel a shock in her hands and she would have fallen over if Jeffrey hadn''t caught her. After that he should have stopped the swinging but he just kept right on swinging, all the way to the tram. The tram was like a mix between a Japanese bullet train (not that I¡¯ve ridden on one), the Des Moines shuttle system (I¡¯ve, unfortunately, ridden on it), and the New York Subway (a blind guy in a wheelchair stole my Dad¡¯s wallet, spoiler alert: He wasn¡¯t blind). When we first got to the station, I wasn¡¯t exactly impressed. The station was on a platform that rose into the air, there were a lot of people getting into various trams and stepping out, it was a madhouse. ¡°Alright kids,¡± Jeff said while we waited for a tram, ¡°remember that I have to go back to the Relations office and settle out your files. There should be a member from Yates, the young scholar program, awaiting your arrival off the tram. Than, you meet up with the other members of the tour. The tour will take you across all the realms, and will stop at the Maximus Office for the night and then come back here.Here comes the tram, get your tickets out¡± The tram silently approached, it was sleek and smooth, but it seemed worn-out. It braked right in front of us, and silver doors started opening. Jeff, Jake and I got onto the tram and handed the operator our tickets. He examined it carefully and then handed it back. He glanced at us, ¡°Sorry for the wait, there has been high activity among known criminals. We¡¯re just ensuring your safety.¡± Following the grim warning, we found an empty row of seats and tried to relax. One great thing about the tram is that it has like movie theater seats, soft and sooo comfy. Jake collapsed on his seat and mumbled, ¡°G¡¯night,¡± before falling asleep. It had been a long day, and the Afturlife¡¯s moon was bright and shining. I wondered if the Afturlife and the same moon and sun as Earth. ¡°Hey Jeff, is the moon here the same? Like as the real-world¡¯s?¡± I asked out of sheer curiosity. ¡°It¡¯s artificial, a simple reminder of the life before us. It was made by the founders of this place. Thus, we still have the same night-day cycle. Does that answer your question?¡± ¡°Yeah. G¡¯night Jeff.¡± ¡°Have a good night¡¯s rest Valerie.¡± I reclined the seat (because it does that) and started to fall asleep. Before I did that, I realized I still needed to do one more thing. ¡°Hey Jeff, thanks for taking care of us. I just want you to know that we, me and Jake¡­ we appreciate your effort.¡± Jake let out a big snuffle. Jeff looked at me in the eye and simply replied, ¡°I know.¡± Leave it to the one adult to weird things out. However I was asleep before I knew it.