《Paramnesia》


 0 3 : 0 0 - T H R E E

    I¡¯m alone in a dark, murky world. All I feel right now is cold, anxious, and¡­scared. I¡¯m already too tired to run. I¡¯m shaking within a pitch black world. Then I hear someone¡¯s voice in the distance.


    ¡°Are you alr¡ªhey!? What the¡­?¡± Someone is shaking my shoulder roughly. I snap back into consciousness blankly, then, I¡¯m aware of the terrible cold around me. My wet clothes are clinging to my cold body.


    ¡°Hey! Come on!¡± When my eyes bring the world into focus, I see the face of a man. He¡¯s looking at me with a concerned expression.


    ¡°Where am I¡­?¡± I look around me and see a narrow space with glass walls. Apparently I had been sleeping in a telephone box.


    ¡°Good, looks like you¡¯re coming to. What¡¯re you doing in a place like this?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s dangerous to be sleeping in a place like this anyway. Let¡¯s get you home.¡±


    ¡°Home¡­¡±


    ¡°What¡¯s your address¡­?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know¡­¡±


    ¡°Hey¡­ are you drunk?¡±


    ¡°I really don¡¯t know¡­! I-I¡­¡±


    ¡°¡­What¡¯s your name?¡±


    ¡°Me? Who am I¡­?¡± I¡¯m really not trying to joke around. I honestly don¡¯t know who I am, where I live, or what I¡¯m doing here ¡°This¡­this can¡¯t be¡­!¡±


    ¡°Calm down. Do you have a license or health insurance card? A cell phone?¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­¡± I get up and look around me, but I have nothing. No bag, no cell phone, nothing ¡°I don¡¯t¡­¡±


    ¡°Do you really not remember anything?¡± This man really seems worried about me. I don¡¯t know much of anything at the moment, but I do know that he¡¯s not a bad person.


    ¡°I don¡¯t remember anything¡­¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re weak. I¡¯ll call an ambulance for now.¡± I have someone that¡¯s worried about me. This frees me from the terrible anxiety and suddenly an awful chill hits my body.


    ¡°I-I¡¯m cold¡­¡±


    ¡°H-Hey! You alright?¡± He takes off his coat and places it over my trembling shoulders. ¡°We can¡¯t afford to wait for an ambulance. Can you walk a little?¡±


    ¡°Probably¡­¡±


    ¡°My apartment is nearby. We can warm you up there.¡± I stand up with his support and I exit the telephone box dizzily.


    Cold rain is falling outside. The cold leaves me leaning against the telephone box, unable to move.


    ¡°Can you not walk¡­?¡± He looks at me, unable to move, then crouches down with his back facing me.


    ¡°Huh¡­?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll carry you to my place.¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­¡± Looking at the broad back in front of me, I think about how strange it is that he¡¯s being so kind to me. However, I get on his back with no resistance. His broad back is warm and comforting. I would be alright with him. After such little contact with him, I was confident of this.


    ¡°After you warm up in the bath, you should be able to remember things.¡±


    ¡°Thank you. Um, what¡¯s your name¡­?¡±


    ¡°Takao Hideaki. Just your average busybody.¡±


    ¡°Takao¡­¡± After riding on his warm back for about three minutes, he takes me into his apartment.


    ¡°We¡¯re here. It¡¯s a mess, but there¡¯s a toilet and bath you can use for the time being.¡± When I look around inside, I see that it¡¯s a simple studio apartment. He sits me down on the sofa, then immediately gets me some warm milk.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to go prepare you a bath, so wait here and drink this.¡±


    ¡°Thank you¡­¡±


    I look around the room as I drink the warm milk. There¡¯s nothing cute it¡¯s definitely a man¡¯s room. Then again, I¡¯m not sure if I¡¯ve ever even been in a man¡¯s room before.


    ¡°¡­Ah.¡± The coat that had been placed on me is on the end of the sofa. It¡¯s wrinkled by the rain.


    ¡°If it doesn¡¯t get dried¡­¡± When I pick up the coat to dry it with the towel, I see something sparkling.


    ¡°Huh? What¡¯s this¡­?¡± I take it out and see that it¡¯s a police badge. I hesitate for a moment, then open it up and see a photo of Takao ¡°A police officer¡­¡±.


    ¡°Hey! You can get in now!¡±


    ¡°Ah, okay.¡± I slip the badge back inside and set the coat down.


    Soaking in the bath, I felt as if my body was melting, thawing like ice. ¡°Phew¡­¡± Just when I¡¯m finally able to calm down, vicious anxiety immediately attacks me. There are no signs of my memory returning at all. Why is it that this¡­is happening to me¡­as I thought that to myself. Even though I have no memory, I feel rushed for some reason. I feel like I had been heading somewhere¡­ or fleeing. I feel a vague sense of impatience, my body heating up rapidly.


    ¡°If my memory doesn¡¯t come back¡­¡±


    ¡°How¡¯s the bath? Not too hot?¡± Takao said from the outside.


    ¡°Ah, it¡¯s fine.¡±


    ¡°Good. Then, well¡­¡±


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    ¡°You need a change of clothes. Underwear too¡­¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­¡±


    ¡°I-I¡¯ll go buy them right away, so wait here.¡± Takao speaks in an embarrassing voice as he heads for the door. For some reason, he¡¯s made my anxious feelings calm down.The author''s tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.


    I¡¯m in the bath for quite some time, but Takao doesn¡¯t return. After ten more minutes, I get out of the bath, wrap myself in a towel and head to the living room.


    ¡°I wonder if he can¡¯t find me a change of clothes¡­¡± He seems like an earnestly shy person, so he¡¯s probably having trouble getting me underwear. I flip on the television as I¡¯m waiting for him.


    (Newscaster: At round three in the evening, voices arguing were heard and police were sent to the site.)


    On the news, a video is being shown of several police officers swarming an apartment building. There was something familiar about the apartment though.


    ¡°Huh? That¡¯s¡­¡±


    (Newscaster: There was a bloodied man collapsed in the apartment. He was transported to the hospital, but soon pronounced dead.)


    ¡°Dead¡­? Ah¡­!¡± The screen switches to a photo of the deceased man. I have no idea who the man is, but there¡¯s something familiar about him.


    ¡°Ah¡­ah¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m back. It took a bit to get the underwear¡­..what happened?¡± I know that I¡¯ve seen the rugged man on the screen before. The image of the bloodied man flickers through my mind. I¡¯ve seen him like that!


    ¡°N-No!¡±


    ¡°W-What¡¯s going on?¡±


    Although I can¡¯t remember a thing, that scene torments my mind like an nightmare. The sofa soaked in red, the sour smell, my bloodied hands. And then, a fear that I would destroy everything. All I can remember is the intensely overwhelming feeling of fear.


    ¡°No! I can¡¯t take this! No!¡±


    ¡°What the hell is going on!?¡± I feel my shaking body being embraced. When I look up, I see the bloodied man¡¯s face.


    ¡°¡­Takao? Takao!¡±


    ¡°Did you remember something?¡±


    ¡°No! I don¡¯t want to remember anything!¡±


    ¡°What the¡­?¡±


    ¡°No! No! I¡¯m so scared!¡±


    ¡°C-Calm yourself!¡±


    ¡°Help me! Help¡­!¡±


    ¡°D-Damn¡­!¡± Unable to control my fear, I feel my lips being sealed by Takao¡¯s.


    In that moment, darkness falls over me and I slump in the sudden calm.


    ¡°Ah¡­¡±


    ¡°Are you calm¡­!?¡±


    ¡°Takao¡­I¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. I wasn¡¯t sure what to do for you. I just kissed you without thinking¡­.¡±


    ¡°Miyuki¡­¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°My name is Miyuki¡­ That¡¯s what I was called¡­¡±


    ¡°Miyuki¡­¡± I unexpectedly find myself recalling that name: Miyuki. However, I¡¯m unable to recall anything more, and I stay here, wrapped in Takao¡¯s arms.


    When I wake up, I search for Takao first thing. Takao had told me to sleep on his bed, while he would take the couch. However, he¡¯s not on the couch.


    ¡°Takao¡­?¡± Now that I¡¯m alone, I¡¯m suddenly attacked by anxiety. Just when I think to go search for him, he appears. He¡¯s wearing a suit once more.


    ¡°Oh you¡¯re awake. You can still sleep if you¡¯d like.¡±


    ¡°Are you already going to work?¡±


    ¡°Yeah, government workers go in early.¡± Takao smiles bitterly, then fishes a set of keys out of his pocket ¡°Did a night of sleep bring anything back?¡±


    ¡°No¡­¡±


    ¡°Really¡­? This is going to be more difficult than I thought.¡±


    ¡°What¡­?¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s fine that you haven¡¯t remembered anything yet. Your clothes are dry.¡±


    ¡°Okay¡­¡±


    ¡°And¡­¡± He pulls out his wallet and takes out a hundred dollar bill ¡°It¡¯s not much, but if you need anything, use this.¡±


    ¡°Thank you¡­¡±


    ¡°Alright, I¡¯m heading out.¡±


    ¡°See you later.¡± I said as a wave to him goodbye with a smile. He smiles cheerfully, opens the door, and takes his leave. I feel anxious by myself, but that smile is enough to break through it.


    ¡°What do I do now?¡± I sit in the apartment doing nothing, yet my memory won¡¯t return. I¡¯m not sure what will be effective, but I feel like all I can do is to try.


    ¡°I should try going to that place.¡± I change into my dried clothes and decide to go out.


    I¡¯ve come to the place that I remembered first. The rain has let up and it¡¯s bright out, but I remember waking up in the phone box yesterday.


    ¡°I wonder if I left anything behind¡­¡± The phone box is nondescript. Walls to the floor, nothing is abnormal ¡°There¡¯s nothing¡­Huh?¡± The phone book is slightly out of place. There¡¯s something red on it.


    ¡°I wonder what this is¡­¡± I pick up the phone book and open it. I open up the crumpled pages and my hand stops on a certain page.


    ¡°This is¡­¡± The page is stained with red. I don¡¯t know why I¡¯m so confident, but I know this is blood and not paint. I wonder if this has to do with my memory loss¡­ I honestly feel awful about it, but I tear out the page just in case and pocket it.


    Before returning to the apartment, I go to a nearby supermarket. What I should buy for dinner¡­ Takao never really eats at home and his fridge is full of nothing but beer and water. I look around at the ingredients, trying to come up with a meal. I don¡¯t even know if I can cook all that well. This is tough¡­I have to cook something for Takao though¡­I think he¡¯d like something with a home-cooked feeling¡­


    I go to the fish corner and pick out a flounder. Yeah, I¡¯m going to make boiled flounder. I wonder what kind of face he¡¯ll make when he eats it¡­ I place the flounder in my basket, hoping he¡¯ll enjoy it. I hope he¡¯ll like it¡­ I wonder if this is enough¡­?


    When I take the needed ingredients to the register, I remember the beer in the fridge.


    ¡°Ah, there wasn¡¯t much in there. I wonder if I should buy some.¡± When I try to turn around and go back, I run into the person behind me.


    ¡°Ow!?¡±


    ¡°Ah, sorr¡ª¡°


    ¡°You! Just where were you walking!?¡± The woman shouts, cutting me off, and glares at me sharply. Her ranting is so sudden that I can¡¯t find the words to reply ¡°Hey! Say something!¡±


    ¡°Umm¡­¡± Her clothes and makeup are flashy, her hair nearly gold in color. As I stare at the flashy woman without saying a word, she openly scoffs at me.


    ¡°¡­Geez, if you can¡¯t manage walking, don¡¯t step outside!¡± She crushes a loaf of bread nearby and slams it into my basket. Then she stomps away from me. When I glance around, I see that everyone has paused in their shopping and are staring. I feel strangely embarrassed and hurry for the register.


    I get back to Takao¡¯s and immediately start preparing food. The cooking pot, cutting board, and knives are unused, nearly new. There is, of course, no apron to be found ¡°I¡¯ll just have to make do anyway.¡± I put on my game face and tie my hair back.


    ¡°He¡¯s taking so long¡­¡± When I look at the clock, I see that it¡¯s already twelve at night. Considering that Takao left at eight in the morning, he¡¯d been working for nearly sixteen hours. I know that police work tends to be fairly involved, but I¡¯m still surprised that he¡¯s working so late.


    ¡°The food had gone cold¡­¡± I had managed to cook some food, but not wanting it to get cold, I left it in the pots. I sigh in the direction of the kitchen, then hear the door click open.


    ¡°Ah, you¡¯re home!?¡±


    ¡°¡­Huh?¡±


    ¡°Welcome back!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re still here. I take it your memory hasn¡¯t come back then?¡±


    ¡°It hasn¡¯t yet.¡±


    ¡°Really¡­? I kind of figured you wouldn¡¯t be here.¡±


    ¡°Am I¡­ bothering you?¡±


    ¡°No, not at all. I¡¯m actually kind of happy.¡±


    ¡°Really? Yeah. It¡¯s not a good thing that you can¡¯t recall anything, but I¡¯m happy you¡¯re here.¡±


    ¡°Please call me Miyu.¡±


    ¡°Miyu¡­¡± Takao speaks in a slightly embarrassed tone, then his gaze flickers away like he¡¯s noticed something ¡°Hm? What¡¯s that smell¡­?¡±


    ¡°Ah, are you hungry? I¡¯ll get you some food right away!¡±


    ¡°Huh? You made food?¡±


    ¡°I did! Let me heat it up!¡± I heat the food up right away. Takao watches me, fidgeting ¡°Hehe, just wait a bit longer.¡±


    ¡°Okay¡­¡±


    ¡°You should go take a bath in the meantime.¡±


    ¡°Hm? Oh, yeah¡­¡± Takao heads for the bathroom, confusion somewhere within his face.


    ¡°This is amazing¡­ you made this? Really¡­?¡±


    ¡°Yes!¡± Having gotten out of the bath, Takao is staring at his food on the living room table with wide eyes.


    ¡°But you can¡¯t remember anything¡­? I wonder what that¡¯s about¡­ Anyway, this looks delicious.¡±


    ¡°Hehe, go on ahead and eat.¡±


    ¡°Right. Thank you.¡± Urged on by me, Takao takes a bite of his meal. However, he chews slowly, no reaction at all.


    ¡°Um, is it not very good¡­?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s so delicious¡­¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s insanely good!¡±


    ¡°Great!¡± He finally smiles and digs into his food. Apparently very hungry, he wolfs down his food.


    ¡°It¡¯s really good! Perhaps you were a chef, Miyu?¡±


    ¡°Ahaha, I doubt it.¡± I have no memories of having cooked for a man before. However, the fact that he likes my cooking so much makes me happy. I wonder if I¡¯ve had experiences like this before¡­ I feel strangely happy as I begin to eat too.

 0 5 : 0 0 - F I V E

    *Beep, beep, beep¡­* ¡°Mm¡­¡± I hear an unfamiliar sound and wake up slightly, but the room is still dark. ¡°What is that noise¡­?¡± I check the time and see that it¡¯s already five in the morning. I look at the sofa and see Takao sitting there, already dressed to go.


    ¡°Takao...?¡±


    ¡°Ahh, I woke you up. Sorry.¡±


    ¡°That noise¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s an emergency call.¡± He pulls a square object from his pocket as he speaks. He presses a small button and the sound stops.


    ¡°At this time¡­ Did you even get any sleep?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s always like this. Being a police officer isn¡¯t easy.¡± He smiles bitterly, his eyes sleepy.


    ¡°Okay then, I¡¯ll make breakfast¡­¡±


    ¡°No, that¡¯s not necessary. I¡¯ll eat at work.¡±


    ¡°Really¡­?¡± Takao worked from the early morning until late at night yesterday too. Seeing how little sleep he actually gets makes me feel worried ¡°Are you¡­alright?¡±


    ¡°Haha, I¡¯m fine. How¡¯s your memory?¡±


    ¡°Ah, nothing yet¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah? Well, actually¡­¡±


    ¡°Actually¡­?¡±


    ¡°I was thinking you should go to the hospital.¡±


    ¡°The hospital¡­¡±


    ¡°There has to be something more effective than just waiting for it to return.¡±


    ¡°Hmm¡­¡±


    ¡°But, if you go alone, I imagine it¡¯d be complicated, what with not knowing your identity. So when you go, I¡¯ll go with you.¡±


    ¡°Okay¡­.¡±


    ¡°Just think it over.¡±


    Alone in the apartment, I lie down on the couch and think over what Takao said to me. I¡¯ll probably get my memory back if I go to the hospital, but¡­ Really thinking about it, my chances of getting it back are much higher there. However, I feel weirdly resistant to the idea of leaving here. It¡¯d be great to have my memory back¡­ There¡¯s this undeniable, yet vague, fear and anxiety in my head. I know that it definitely has to do with my memory coming back. Opening a door that has been so firmly shut until now sounds frightening.


    ¡°¡­Huh?¡± Takao¡¯s apartment looks tidied up. However, I can clearly tell by how few things there are that he never spends time at home. Looking closely, I can see that quite a bit of dust has accumulated ¡°I can¡¯t help but just think¡­¡±


    I decide to clean for a change of pace.


    ¡°Phew¡­ I think that¡¯s it.¡± I breathe a sigh as I overlook the cleaned room apartment. I rest for a moment, and then I begin to prepare dinner. There¡¯s something comforting in these household chores. I wonder if I was married¡­I glance at my left hand. There¡¯s no ring, nor is there a sign that one¡¯s been there. ¡°Is it my imagination¡­ Anyway, for today¡­¡± I open the refrigerator and see yesterday¡¯s groceries. However, there¡¯s not much left. ¡°Ah, beer¡­!¡± I forgot to buy beer yesterday when I ran into that fancy woman. I feel like I have to buy beer for Takao, as he¡¯s completely worn out when he gets home. ¡°I should make note of the type and the brand¡­¡± There¡¯s plenty left of the money Takao gave me. After checking the amount, I head for the entrance to go out shopping.


    ¡°Whaa!?¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡± I head to the front door to see a woman in a fancy dress standing there. She¡¯s holding an identical key to mine and trying to get in.


    ¡°W-Who are you¡­?¡±


    ¡°The supermarket¡­¡± There was no mistaking that she was the woman I bumped into. For some reason, this woman was trying to enter Takao¡¯s apartment.


    ¡°H-Hold up a second! Just what are you doing in Takao¡¯s apartment!?¡±


    ¡°I¡­¡± Oh crap!


    ¡°Are you his girlfriend, perhaps?¡±


    ¡°No, I¡¯m not. Takao is actually taking care of me¡­¡±


    ¡°Taking care of you¡­? Are you some sort of criminal?¡±


    ¡°What¡­?¡±


    ¡°¡­You don¡¯t look like one. What¡¯s your name?¡±


    ¡°My name¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m Fumika. I¡¯ve come to clean Takao¡¯s apartment.¡±


    ¡°Have you¡­?¡±


    ¡°Well, I¡¯ve identified myself. Now you.¡±


    ¡°Umm¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh? Not going to tell me your name, are you? You¡¯re awful.¡±


    ¡°¡­¡±


    ¡°Out of my way. I¡¯m going to clean.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve already done it.¡±The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    ¡°Don¡¯t do such unnecessary things!¡±


    ¡°Sorry¡­¡±


    ¡°Ugh, you¡¯re so irritating! I¡¯m leaving early!¡± Without entering, she turns around and leaves.


    ¡°If she comes to clean the house¡­¡± This girl known as Fumika is plenty beautiful, even without makeup. It wouldn¡¯t be strange if she had a close relationship with Takao ¡°That¡¯s right. He probably has a lover¡­¡±


    Takao comes home at around eight in the evening.


    ¡°I¡¯m back.¡±


    ¡°Welcome home! You¡¯re back early today.¡±


    ¡°I somehow managed to give my boss the slip. Hm? Did you make something today too?¡±


    ¡°Yes! I made a meat and potato stew!¡±


    ¡°Stew! Great! I should probably take a bath before I eat.¡±


    ¡°Okay! In the meantime, I¡¯ll fix you a plate.¡± Takao heads for the bathroom and I start preparing the dinner.


    He takes his bath quickly. By the time I¡¯ve set out the plates, he¡¯s already out.


    ¡°Phew! I¡¯m hungry!¡±


    ¡°Hehe, of course. Have a beer.¡±


    ¡°Oh! How¡¯d you know?¡±


    ¡°You worked hard today.¡± After I pour his beer, Takao drinks it all down at once.


    ¡°Ahhh! A beer is always delicious after a bath.¡±


    ¡°Hehe, have some of the stew as well.¡±


    ¡°Let¡¯s see¡­¡± Takao takes a single bite of the stew and his face lights up with surprise ¡°It¡¯s so delicious! This is the best stew I¡¯ve ever had!¡±


    ¡°Ahaha, you¡¯re exaggerating.¡±


    ¡°No way! Seriously, it¡¯s amazing!¡± He happily tackles his meal. Watching him, I find myself feeling happy too ¡°Is it okay to be this happy, I wonder? It kind of feels like we¡¯ve become a couple.¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­?¡±


    ¡°Ah, sorry. That was weird thing to say¡­¡±


    ¡°I feel the same way.¡±


    ¡°Huh?¡±


    ¡°I cleaned the apartment this afternoon and I felt like a housewife¡­¡± I¡¯m embarrassed over what I said, but when I look at Takao, he¡¯s looking back at me.


    ¡°Miyu¡­¡± The distance between us slowly closes. Then I hear a loud noise.


    ¡°Wha!?¡±


    ¡°Ah, the beer¡­¡± I hurriedly make my way to the kitchen to clean up. When I brought the beer to the table, I had been thinking about that woman, Fumika.


    ¡°Umm¡­ a woman came by this afternoon¡­¡±


    ¡°Huh? Really¡­?¡±


    ¡°Are you in a relationship?¡± When I finally manage to ask the question, Takao gives me a complicated look. A woman named Fumika had come by in the afternoon while Takao was gone. When I brought up the story, Takao¡¯s expression grew clouded.


    ¡°I¡¯m not in a relationship.¡±


    ¡°But she has a duplicate key to clean. I figured you guys were incredibly close.¡±


    ¡°...What was Fumika saying?¡±


    ¡°That she came to clean the apartment¡­¡±


    ¡°That so¡­? Well, that¡¯s not the real reason why.¡±


    ¡°Really¡­?¡±


    ¡°She¡¯ll probably come by again. If so, please try to get along with her for me.¡±


    ¡°Okay¡­¡± Takao ends the conversation there and returns to his food. There¡¯s something harsh in his attitude that causes anxiety to flare within me.


    ¡°Thanks for cooking! It was great!¡±


    ¡°Want another beer?¡±


    ¡°No, I think it¡¯s time for bed. I feel like I¡¯ll sleep well.¡± He said. We decide to go to bed early after finishing dinner. Unsuprisingly, Takao tries to sleep on the sofa ¡°Alright then, night.¡±


    ¡°U-Umm¡­¡±


    ¡°Hm?¡±


    ¡°If you sleep on the sofa, you won¡¯t get very much rest, will you?¡±


    ¡°Ahh, it¡¯s alright. I sleep on the sofa fairly often normally.¡±


    ¡°But¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s fine, really. Besides, you¡¯re the one who needs to be sleeping well. So your memory will come back sooner, no?¡±


    ¡°Right¡­¡± Takao is making me top priority. That makes me glad, yet I find myself feeling very sad about it as well.


    Even though I¡¯m in bed, I find myself unable to sleep. Fumika¡¯s sharp expression and Takao¡¯s smile are flashing through my mind. I wonder if I¡¯m causing a rift between the two by being here¡­ Takao just happened to protect me because he¡¯s such a kind person. I¡¯m sure there are no feelings beyond that between us. Maybe if I got my memory back quicker, Takao could return to his everyday life. My presence is nothing but a nuisance to those two. But earlier¡­ Takao said¡­


    ¡®This is nice, isn¡¯t it? It¡¯s almost like we¡¯re a couple.¡¯


    Were those his true feelings¡­?


    After he said that, he flushed red with embarrassment. I feel warm just thinking about it. If we could continue on like this, with me never remembering anything¡­ It¡¯s a selfish thought, but I can¡¯t help but to be drawn to the idea.Takao¡­


    I slowly rise up and look over at the couch. Takao seems to be sleeping, not moving in the slightest. I get out of the bed and walk close to him.I find myself wondering just what I¡¯m doing when I get there. All I do is quietly sit on the floor next to the couch.


    ¡°Hnn¡­¡±


    ¡°Ah¡­¡±


    ¡°Huh¡­? Miyu, what is it?¡±


    ¡°U-Umm¡­¡±


    ¡°Can you not sleep?¡±


    ¡°I can¡¯t, but¡­ it¡¯s fine. Sorry.¡±


    ¡°¡­Want to talk a little?¡± Takao gets up and sits on the floor next to me. Then he places a blanket on me. It¡¯s much warmer than the bed.


    ¡°Oh, how about we talk about why I decided to become a police officer?¡±


    ¡°Sure¡­¡±


    ¡°My original reason was that I lost my parents in an accident.¡±


    ¡°What? Your parents¡­?¡±


    ¡°When I was in middle school. We were on our way home when a car from the opposite lane came into our lane. My father swerved to avoid the car and crashed head on into a utility pole.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­¡±


    ¡°No, it¡¯s okay... I was safe in the back seat, but the man that caused the accident was terrible. Even though he had caused the accident, he testified that he saw my father slam into the pole on his own.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s just awful¡­¡±


    ¡°However, the police officers that responded didn¡¯t trust his testimony. Even though I was just a child, they listened to everything I had to say. Thanks to that, the insurance paid out and I was able to go to school.¡±


    ¡°So you chose to become a police officer¡­¡±


    ¡°Yeah. Having an occupation where I could save even a single life sounded wonderful. Knowing how things work on the inside now, I was being a bit altruistic, but¡­¡± Takao laughs helplessly in the dimly lit room.


    ¡°Are you happy that you became a police officer..?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not entirely sure. I¡¯ve seen more than enough of humanity¡¯s capability for terrible things. I don¡¯t think I would with another job.¡±


    ¡°Takao¡­¡±


    ¡°Even if you close a case, it¡¯s usually not entirely neat. It¡¯s hard to feel like you¡¯ve ever succeeded.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m¡­I¡¯m glad that you became a police officer.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because that¡¯s why you saved me.¡±


    ¡°This has nothing to do with my job. I would have saved you even if I wasn¡¯t a police officer.¡±


    ¡°Your sense of justice saved me.¡±


    ¡°I wonder¡­ I just¡­¡±


    ¡°You just¡­?¡±


    ¡°The moment I saw you, I knew I couldn¡¯t just leave you alone¡­¡±


    ¡°What¡­?¡±


    ¡°Ah, I¡¯m just¡­ such a guy¡­ I¡¯ve said something weird yet again. Sorry.¡± Even though we¡¯re wrapped up in the blanket together, Takao tries his hardest not to touch me. I know that he¡¯s probably thinking of my best interest, but¡­


    ¡°Your kiss¡­ made me feel calm¡­¡±


    ¡°What¡­?¡±


    ¡°I-It¡¯s just¡­¡±


    ¡°I-I did that because I was unsure of what else to do in the moment¡­¡±


    ¡°But¡­I was glad¡­¡±


    ¡°U-Umm, your cooking is some of the best I¡¯ve ever had! I¡¯m fairly sure that when your memory comes back, you¡¯ll have been 3 star restaurant chef.¡± Takao changes the subject to avoid talking about it any further. I find myself wondering what I can do to save his feelings. His sense of justice, ethics, his life as a police officer. Whatever he thinks of Fumika¡­


    ¡°Sorry, I¡¯ve kept you up even longer¡­¡±


    ¡°No, I¡¯m glad. Glad that I got to know how you feel.¡±


    ¡°I see.¡± Staying like this much longer seemed like it would be terrible for him. I get out from under the blanket and head back to the bed. A moment later, I hear Takao getting back onto the couch.


    When I wake up the next day, there¡¯s no sign of Takao. There¡¯s just a note saying he¡¯ll be back later.


    ¡°I wonder if he¡¯s worried about yesterday night¡­¡± I can¡¯t help but wonder what he thinks about me. And what I would have thought of him before. Without my memory, I¡¯m not quite sure if my feelings are right or not ¡°I¡¯ll stay here and wait for him all day until I understand¡­¡±


    Knowing I can¡¯t avoid the constant thinking, I suddenly flip on the television. There¡¯s a morning news program on. There had apparently been a murder. ¡°¡­What the? That place¡­.¡± There¡¯s an ivy-covered apartment building on the television. Something about it hits me ¡°I¡­know that place!¡±