《I just want to play alone!》


 Chapter 1- I hate it when people get the same references I do

    It was difficult to look into her eyes. Even though she wasn¡¯t actually in front of me, the projection was so lifelike that I could feel the true intensity behind that tear filled glare. I didn¡¯t like seeing her cry, and it didn¡¯t really matter how much I told her or how I justified myself. Why couldn¡¯t she just understand?


    ¡°You won¡¯t even look at me? You know you¡¯re wrong so you can¡¯t look Jin.¡± Her acerbic tone was something I was used to after so many years.


    Gazing into her watery soft brown eyes my heart froze.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry darling. I¡¯ve told you so many times that it¡¯s just a matter of time. You know there are extenuating circumstances and I¡¯m bringing my life back on track.¡± My voice was shaking and I could feel the dryness in my throat.


    ¡°You only have excuses Jin! You can never do anything for me.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s not true and you know it.¡± I was really pissed when she said that, how could she say that.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t come when I asked you to.¡± Her voice was flat, a really bad sign for me.


    ¡°Like I said, there were really good reasons for that Lyn.¡± I was begging her to understand, just as I had done so many times in the past. ¡°I always talk to you and give you all of the time I have free. You know that.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not enough Jin, you¡¯re not here with me. I can¡¯t take this anymore. I need time.¡± She sighed, now it was her turn to look away.


    ¡°What does that mean for us Lynda?¡± I whispered.


    ¡°It means I need time Jin. Please give it to me.¡± She looked at my dazed expression and shook her head before the projection vanished.


    Staring at the spot her image had stood, I was lost in thoughts of us letting time go by, my milkshake warming up. She said time so I would give her time I decided. It wasn¡¯t the first time this had happened and I felt that it wouldn¡¯t be the last either. At least I hoped it wouldn¡¯t be.


    Paying my bill, I left the small coffee shop. Stopping at the door to attach an air filter to my collar I stepped onto the dirty streets. This coffee shop was in an alley of the BKC district of the greater Mumbai-Pune-Nasik metropolis, commonly just referred to as the MPN metro. The only reason I came here was the high fidelity Augmented Reality, or AR for short, services they provided with what I had been informed was some of the shittiest coffee in existence.


    Now I don¡¯t drink coffee. Can¡¯t stand the stuff, and I¡¯d spent quite a lot of time arguing with people on why they would drink that swill. Sure, it perks you up, but I¡¯m sure I read something stating that caffeine only makes you energetic to a normal state and that its withdrawal causes you to feel down. It¡¯s like a drug I¡¯d argued, minus the actual high. Not that people listen. Certainly never Lynda. I prefer a strawberry milkshake any day, I could be bribed with one for sure. Had been as well, giving away a friends phone number.


    Kinda the reason I don¡¯t have many friends anymore. I can understand that it¡¯s tough to trust someone that will give your personal information away for a milkshake. It¡¯s not like any of the people who got the information were ever criminals. Except maybe that stalker of Akshay¡¯s, but that was his own fault for being so damn popular.


    Well that¡¯s why I don¡¯t have many friends anymore. That and people are fucking idiots.


    Standing in front of a dingy high-tech coffee shop in the business capital of the Indo-Asian Cooperative, these thoughts may seem out of place, but friendship was on my mind looking at the billboard in front of me.


    FANTASY ONLINE- THE VRMMORPG OF THE CENTURY- WHAT ADVENTURES WILL YOU HAVE?


    JOIN THE NEW WORLD!


    RELEASING TODAY


    GT UR CPY NW @ SINGHS VR ODD SHOPPEy


    PM US @ [email protected]</a> FR UR CPY


    It¡¯s not the fact that MMO¡¯s are to be played in a group that made me think of friends. Oh no, that certainly wasn¡¯t it. Certainly not the hours of grinding on my own until I found a girlfriend and joined her guild. Definitely not that.


    It was that bastard Singh. One of my few dubious acquaintances, he was definitely an odd character. Just take his email ID for example. He claimed the V.B. stood for ¡®Very Big¡¯. I think you get the idea at what he was getting at. However, his IT admin, another odd friend of mine, is adamant that Singh made a mistake while typing, and had meant to write V.R. How on earth do you slip from R to B and add an extra R as well? Like I said people are fucking idiots.


    Now I know that my anger at those morons was probably because of my argument with my girlfriend, but who cares? Just because I may be single again doesn¡¯t mean that they¡¯re any less annoying. Plus, I had to collect my copy of Fantasy Online from him today.


    Trudging through the hazy air of 2133, I frowned at the reading showing the AQI going above 700. Great another hazardous day until they activate the cities scrubbers.


    Singh¡¯s Odd Shoppe was actually quite clean and organized considering the lunacy of the man who ran the place. Walking in, I headed straight to the counter where a bored looking Singh tapped a keyboard in front of him using his index fingers.


    There. See what I mean? In this day and age who types like that?


    ¡°Singh did my copy of FO come in yet?¡± I always talked to Singh with as little digression as possible. No need to give him anything to talk about the man could take any topic and talk it to death. That¡¯s not a joke. Poor Mrs. Patni sat and listened to him for hours until her heart stopped. It really put a dent in his sales to the retired demographic.


    ¡°Jin, mera dost! I got your box yesterday and have kept it safe just for you.¡± He looked up at me happily, jowls hanging loosely under his multicolored turban.


    ¡°Don¡¯t call me your friend Singh. Not since you scammed me last time.¡± Why was there so much stuff that reminded me of angry thoughts today?


    ¡°No, no. It was just a misunderstanding. The dons were really cooperative and gave your money back didn¡¯t they?¡± His apologetic expression was especially suspicious and I knew that if it wasn¡¯t for the Cooperative Police becoming very interested in the activities surrounding his shop, I wouldn¡¯t be seeing my thousand credits ever again. Dragging a head sized box from under his counter he plopped it down for me to check.


    Emblazoned on the box was the title Fantasy Online in super fancy calligraphy. Verifying that it was sealed I swiped my hand under his scanner to pay him and seeing the light turn green in approval I nodded at him, some of my anger easing at my new toy. Whatever a person may say, games are just toys. Big boy toys they may be, but I don¡¯t know why people get so butt-hurt whenever they¡¯re told they¡¯re playing with toys.


    I like playing with my toys.


    ¡°There¡¯s some really interesting info on this game bhai.¡± Singh leaned over conspiratorially as he whispered these words.


    I know I should ignore him.


    I¡¯ll ignore him.


    Completely ignore him.


    ¡°What?¡± So sue me, I¡¯m too curious for my own good and this fucker knows how to push my buttons just right. It¡¯s how I gave him the thousand credits in the first place.


    ¡°You know how there¡¯s very little info to go on?¡±


    I nodded. The developers had been surprisingly tight-lipped. A terrible marketing strategy I would have thought, but their beta-testers had changed the entire scenario. Posting comments that were glowing reviews without giving any concrete details, the buzz had turned viral and within a week the system for FO had preorders in the millions.If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.


    ¡°The most we know is that it¡¯s ¡®the next generation in VR technology¡¯¡± I mentioned.


    ¡°Right, Jin. I happen to know a beta-tester and he was very clear that his contract was extremely severe in what he was allowed to disclose, but I managed to deduce they had a mem-lock placed on them.¡± He almost hissed his last words.


    I breathed in surprise. Mem-locks were rumored technology that the various governments had, that allowed someone to block someone from discussing their memories at the lowest settings and blocked their memories from themselves at the highest settings. There were all sorts of laws banning the usage of the technology except in certain circumstances, which was horribly suspicious considering how much they denied it, making it the greatest exposed lie in history. However, there was no concrete evidence on the subject, making conspiracy theorists rant in fervor that it was proof that everyone was already mem-locked just because we can¡¯t remember their use.


    ¡°That¡¯s pretty excessive.¡± I pointed out.


    ¡°Yes, but a little bit of digging and by asking around the subject one of the things I discovered is that the beta-testers have no idea what they¡¯re doing. The system is insanely complex and flexible so they are confused at every action.¡±


    ¡°Complex system?¡± I murmured, intrigued by the prospect.


    ¡°I knew you¡¯d like that Jin.¡± His oily grin looked like a sneer. How could a man¡¯s actions make him look so slippery and suspicious?


    ¡°The mem-lock reminds me of the time when the Yakuza lord of Hinjewadi wanted to bring a dozen illegal fish for his fish tank from Brazil. There were all sorts of strange shipments made to a pet shop right next door and I could smell the horrible scent of the sea¡­.¡±


    Tuning out his words I nodded occasionally at his improbable tale of how he helped the police nab a gangster boss from the triad, even though the it was the Yakuza boss that was acting illegally. Thinking about the game and the time I¡¯d be able to spend alone to analyze this new system I felt happier. That would occupy me until Lyndas time frame to think was over.


    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


    Tossing my clothes to the side I took a quick shower. Angry showers are weird. You feel hot, but cold water really eases that. Yet somehow you feel even angrier. The reason for that? The fucking water heater was broken again.


    Shooting a furious mail to the maintenance department of the complex, I set up the FO system in my bedroom. Placing the system on my night stand I hooked it up and pulled out the connection cable.


    Lying down I took a deep breath and jacked myself in, the pin sliding into the port on my neck. Sure, inserting a metallic rod into your neck doesn¡¯t hurt directly but the scratching as it slides into the port sends shivers down your spine that never gets easier doesn¡¯t matter how many times you do it. Hitting the power button, I closed my eyes.


    When I opened them, I was in a featureless expanse with a white tiled floor below me.


    ¡°Hello, and welcome to Fantasy Online. I am your resident AI fairy. Please provide me with a name, gender and voice based on your preferences.¡± A featureless generic voice came down from my surroundings and a window popped up in front of me.


    Setting a female voice that I will vehemently deny sounds a lot like Lynda, I waited for the next instructions.


    A small dot of light appeared a small blue winged fairy came out of it.


    ¡°Hi, I¡¯m Miranda! Thank you for naming me. What¡¯s your name?¡±


    I told her.


    ¡°Welcome to Fantasy Online Lord Banana. Please choose a nickname.¡±


    I shortened my name.


    ¡°Hi Lord B. A world of adventure and mystery awaits you.¡±


    ¡°Please agree to the following terms and conditions to finalize your account. Please note that Fantasy Online functions on a 10:1 time compression and as such one day of time in the real world is equivalent to 10 days in game. All functions that connect to the outside world are restricted and as such only phone calls are permitted, however you will be removed from the game during the call so as to sync your time perception for the same.¡±


    I told her I agreed and understood all her explanations.


    ¡°Thank you. Fantasy Online servers will be online in 1 hour 35 minutes and 14 seconds. Please enjoy browsing the internet in the meantime. On completion of the countdown you will be teleported to a personalized instance to acclimate yourself to the controls and systems. WARNING! THE INSTANCE IS NOT A TUTORIAL AND ALL SYSTEMS AND THREATS ARE REAL.¡±


    I can¡¯t believe there¡¯s no tutorial. I didn¡¯t even look at the manual. It¡¯s been hundreds of years since a game expected you to read the manual. This thing is so weird, it better be as complex as Singh told me.


    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


    I was standing in a forest looking around me at the almost photorealistic graphics around me. It felt so real and the sensation of the air flowing by me and the smell of grass was insanely detailed. More like, I didn¡¯t think there was a place on earth that still had enough nature that they could model it properly. Hell, this might not even be an accurate model but it was awesome.


    Passing my hand through some leaves I marveled at the sensation. This feels so real. Wait, real? Uh-oh. In a rush, I called out the menu and scanned it before breathing a sigh of relief.


    ¡°Looking for the Log-out button?¡± Miranda asked me from her seat on my shoulder.


    ¡°How did you know?¡± I was surprised, could the AI intercept my thoughts?


    ¡°You¡¯d be surprised at how many people check that the log-out option the first time they join a new VRMMO. It¡¯s about 85%. The last hundred years of fiction really stick in people¡¯s heads.¡± Her dry voice made my face hot with shame.


    I¡¯ll ignore the suddenly sassy AI for a moment and check my status.


    ¡°Oh, for fucks sake.¡± Staring at my status I could only feel rage.


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="4">


    Status


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Name


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="3">


    Lord Banana


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Level


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Go Find Out


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Experience


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    You have no experience


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Class


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="3">


    Nope


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Titles


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="3">


    Still Nothing


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="4">


    Attributes


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    HP


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    MP


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Strength


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Charisma


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Dexterity


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Psych


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Constitution


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Magic


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Wisdom


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Intelligence


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center">


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="4">


    Skills


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="4" rowspan="2">


    Go do something. You have no skills..


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    ¡°Why can¡¯t I see anything on my status?¡±


    ¡°You have to discover your abilities first. That should be obvious, did you know how strong you were without measuring it outside the Game?¡± Does she have to sound so snarky?


    ¡°That may be true but it¡¯s still a game.¡± Arguing with Miranda was turning out to be a pointless endeavor.


    Checking my inventory, I discovered a small rusty sword which I equipped and slowly started to move through the forest. Coming to a clearing, I stayed in the tree line while I looked at little white rabbits hopping around happily. I¡¯ll admit that I assume that they¡¯re happy, but that¡¯s a reasonable deduction when it comes to hopping animals.


    ¡°Can¡¯t I see the rabbit¡¯s status or HP bar or something?¡± I asked Miranda after minutes of frustration and calling out skill names like ¡®Appraisal¡¯, ¡®scan¡¯ and so on.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have the requisite skills.¡± Was her succinct reply.


    Grumbling at how frustrating this game already was, I moved towards a rabbit. I hoped that killing something would unlock some of the information on the status screen.


    Sneaking up to the rabbit I swung at it as hard as I could.


    The blade cut into the rabbit, leaving a gash because my strike was slightly off target.


    The rabbit spun to face me and hissed, red eyes glowing and I backed away bringing my blade up.


    The rabbit streaked towards my face and my eyes widened as it moved through the air as if it was a puppet on strings.


    Slashing horizontally, I managed to tear its neck open, the blood spraying me as it hit me and fell to the floor. The force of the inanimate rabbit knocked me onto the floor, bruising me where it hit. Totally gross. Now I¡¯m not a vegetarian but tearing the throat open of a vicious carnivorous rabbit is not on my list of a good day out.


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td width="601">


    You¡¯ve defeated Monty¡¯s Bunny! 1XP gained


    Title unlocked: The Knight who didn¡¯t say Ni


    Skill unlocked: Basic Swordplay


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    ¡°They made a M*nty Pyth*n reference here!¡± I screamed, realizing that I may have just walked into a giant twisted joke.

 Chapter 2 – Don’t ever look in a mirror. You’ll only hate yourself more.

    Studying my status screen, I focused on the new skill that had showed up and brought up its details. I¡¯m thankful at least that works like normal.


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td width="601">


    Skill- Basic Swordplay: - The basics of the basics of the basics of how to use the sword. Make sure the sharp end is pointed away from you while you¡¯re training how to swing sharp chunks of metal.


    Effects:


    ¡¤ Minor correction to accuracy and damage while using a sword.


    ¡¤ Training the sword becomes easier.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    Alright, so for a while I¡¯ll use a sword until I get some more skills. Does this mean that if I use an item I¡¯ll get a related skill? That¡¯s definitely something I have to test out now, but it¡¯s not like I have other weapons.


    So, what¡¯s the deal with the jokey sounding title you may ask?


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td width="601">


    Title- The Knight who didn¡¯t say Ni- The first animal you defeated is a descendant of the feared rabbit of Caerbannog and you did it without getting hurt!


    Effects:


    ¡¤ Increased Defense against Knights (Especially those with antlers on their head)


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    Lackluster I know. Why they have to reference a show almost 150 years old I have no idea.


    Looking at the corpse of the rabbit in front of me I realize that there aren¡¯t any drops. That¡¯s a bad sign, I just hope it means that this particular mob had suffered under the grip of the RNG gods. I know what I have to do and I don¡¯t like it, but to test my thoughts this is the only way.


    Squatting down I jabbed the sword into the rabbit and started to remove its fur. Or tried to. Why is this so difficult? I¡¯m only getting patches of damn fur that are covered in blood. Maybe I can wash the blood out. A skinned rabbit in front of me and dozens of pieces of bloody rabbit fur in my hand, I was starting to reconsider my belief that complex and realistic systems were better.


    No skill.


    Fuck.


    Ok, next plan. Cutting the rabbit open and gagging at the smell I pulled out its innards and cut the flesh into a dozen chunks. This is definitely something that doesn¡¯t need super high definition sensory quality. Butchered it, maybe I¡¯ll get some cooking or butchery skill.


    No luck.


    Still no skill.


    Double Fuck.


    Fine let me try starting a fire and I¡¯ll roast the meat.


    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    An hour of fiddling with sticks later and a small fire was gloriously flickering in front of me. Skewering the meat pieces with another stick I held it over the fire. Watching it char, it actually smelt good, and it was cooking really quickly. Much faster than it would in real life.


    Oh, oh, oh? This is good. I have a good feeling about this!


    Nope.


    No skill.


    What is wrong with this?


    ¡°Alright Miranda why am I not getting a skill?¡± Giving up and asking for help is the best thing.


    ¡°What, you think you can get a skill just by setting fire to some rabbit in a forest?¡± The superiority in her voice is just proof that AI¡¯s shouldn¡¯t have personalities.


    ¡°So, what will get me a skill?¡± See I¡¯m the soul of peaceful conversation.


    ¡°You little flying bug.¡± I muttered.


    Since she didn¡¯t hear, that¡¯s still totally peaceful.


    ¡°Think about it Jackass. What is a skill? I can¡¯t tell you more than that.¡± Nasty, nasty. This bug really talks like a teenager trying to imitate a street tough.


    ¡°Hey, I resent that.¡±


    ¡°That you¡¯re a Jackass?¡± She tilted her head at me.


    ¡°No. That I know. The fact that you¡¯re supposed to be my resident AI, or navigational companion or some shit like that. You shouldn¡¯t be able to call me a jackass.¡± Hey, I know myself. I¡¯m not the most pleasant of people. People? Persons? Uhhh¡­ ok, whatever.


    ¡°That¡¯s just silly Jin. I can do whatever I want.¡± What¡¯s with that attempt at an adorable pose? Wait. Jin?


    ¡°Hey, don¡¯t use my real name. Call me Lord Banana, or Lord B. That¡¯s the setting I gave you not even an hour ago. I mean, come on! Why ask for it and then not use it.¡± Also, I¡¯ll ignore the fact that this bug can so casually mention my personal information. Not that I have the right to say that, but it¡¯s the principle of the thing after all.


    ¡°No one except you can hear or see me Jin. Unless you give me or them permission for it.¡±


    Huh. That¡¯s useful to know. If someone else sees me talking to the air they won¡¯t automatically assume I¡¯m insane. She hasn¡¯t been able to tell me anything really useful till now. Let me nag and see how much I can drag out of her.


    Which is what I did.


    Not much result. Either I just couldn¡¯t access the information or she didn¡¯t know. Alright new approach then.


    ¡°Tell me Miranda. Are you part of a larger AI or a separate system that¡¯s assigned to me?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m assigned to you directly Jin and I was born when you joined the game.¡¯


    Nodding at the expected answer I asked her some more questions before finally getting to the topic I was most interested in.


    ¡°How is your personality assigned? Is it from a standard package?¡±


    She froze and seemed to consider my question, so I guess it¡¯s a bust. I must have hit some security protocol.


    ¡°I¡¯m apparently allowed to tell you that Jin. It¡¯s based on your brain wave patterns and basic psych profile as established at last year¡¯s census evaluation.¡± Her widened eyes told me that she really thought she wouldn¡¯t be able to answer. Looks like they missed blocking this question in their testing, but that seems kind of strange, since if all the other AIs were as snarky as his was there would be many people becoming really curious about the subject.


    How could they have access to my census evaluation? That¡¯s restricted by the cooperative and doesn¡¯t that just mean that she¡¯s based off me? I¡¯m not that flippant, I¡¯m sure. Looks like it¡¯s better that I don¡¯t tell anyone about her or her behavior then.


    Kinda depressing really if I think about it. No wonder people avoid talking to me and why did Lynda even start dating me?


    No, no. Gotta be positive. I wanted complex and I sure as hell don¡¯t understand shit about what I¡¯m doing so that means it¡¯s got to be super complicated. Since I don¡¯t know what to do, it¡¯s time to utilize my trump card.


    ¡°Now what do I do Miranda?¡±


    ¡°Head to a village.¡± Quick response! Had she expected this question?


    ¡°Which way is the nearest village?¡± I have no idea. I would probably end up wandering the forest for days let alone trying to determine any sort of human passage. Following her arm poined in some direction, I nodded before trudging through the woods.


    Happily murdering every one of those evil rabbits that crossed my path I sang some classics in my off-key voice as I moved through the trees, not caring if anything heard me. Miranda had her hands over her ears. I may not be very good but I¡¯m not that terrible either. I used to be in a choir you know.


    Oops, better skin these little bastards.


    Boy I love games.

 Chapter 3 – Copyright infringement WARNING!

    The thing about being lost is that you don¡¯t know where to go.


    Wait! Hear me out before you hurl the reading device of your choice out the window.


    When you have no idea where you are, that¡¯s kind of a problem, sure, but on the other hand you may know where you want to go so you have a destination. If your destination is known then you can plan for it properly in some way or the other, maybe you use the sun to head west or east, or climb a tree to find a landmark. On the other hand, when you don¡¯t know where you¡¯re going all you can do is wander around for a while.


    You may be thinking. ¡®Jin! Last time we saw you, you were happily following Mirandas directions towards a village while depopulating the forest of its resident rabbit infestation¡¯, and I would happily reply, ¡®Exactly random person on the internet who is somehow talking to me. I was following Mirandas directions, but it turns out there¡¯s a problem with that.¡¯


    ¡®What problem?¡¯ you may wonder with a look of confusion on your pasty pale agoraphobic face.


    ¡®Well, it turns out that this completely unhelpful flying bug can only specify which direction something is in, and only important MAN-MADE landmarks at that.¡¯ I would gladly tell you as I twisted Mirandas sarcastic expression off along with her head.


    Man-made is the key word here.


    I give you exhibit A of why I¡¯m rapidly losing faith and interest in my companion.


    The Mountain Range in front of me.


    Not just one or two mountains but a range as far as the eye can see.


    The only advantage of not being able to travel in this direction any farther, is the dejected expression on Mirandas face. Sure, I may be screwed because I¡¯m lost, but it¡¯s not like I wanted to interact with people in the first place. If I can¡¯t get information from villagers, then I will learn from nature itself! Well that and sell my items, turns out there¡¯s no inventory per se except for your starting equipment, rest of the stuff you have to carry around by hand. I need to make some money off my rabbit goods. Hey! My precious bits of rabbit fur are totally valuable for people who want to make baby socks or something.


    Is what I said half an hour ago, but I have no idea what to do for that, hence my first statement.


    ¡°Miranda, any ideas?¡± I think it¡¯s better if I don¡¯t gloat too much at her failure for the sake of building the cooperation I¡¯ll need to get out of here. Gloat any more I mean.


    ¡°You can always train your swordsmanship for a while. Maybe search for some caves or special spots for treasure and manuals.¡± Her sullen behavior was actually a godsend, no need to face all that sarcasm.


    Latching on to her final word I tried to clarify it. Apparently, manuals are guides on everything from crafting to skill usage and acquisition. That¡¯s definitely something I need right now so, my current goals confirmed, find some manuals.


    Easier said than done though. Let¡¯s think about this carefully treasures and things are found in three places in MMOs as far as I remember.


    First- In dungeon chests.


    Second- As Mob drops.


    Third- Special events or merchants.


    Checking with Miranda I was surprised to discover that in FO there was an even more unique method to acquiring treasured items.


    ¡°Since it¡¯s been millions of years and various civilizations have come and gone throughout the ages, you may find various items underground for your use.¡± She¡¯d said.


    Now isn¡¯t that interesting.


    Now to acquire a means of digging.


    Items available to me. Rusty sword, Rabbit meat, Rabbit fur, Stones, Leaves and Trees. Oh, and a useless flying companion.


    IDEA!


    ¡°Behold ladies, gentleman and flying sentience¡¯s the world over, my greatest creation.¡± I shouted into the forest and stared at the abomination tied together by strips of rabbit fur in my hand.


    <table width="456">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td width="128">Item Name</td>


    <td colspan="4" width="328">The World''s Worst Shovel</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td>Atk</td>


    <td colspan="4">Unknown</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td>Def</td>


    <td colspan="4">Unknown</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td>Skills</td>


    <td colspan="4">Unknown</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td>Bonus attributes</td>


    <td colspan="4">Unknown</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td>Description</td>


    <td colspan="4" width="328">Crafted by a lunatic in an attempt to dig up treasures this strange hybrid of wood, stone and fur is more durable than it looks</td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td>Usage Requirements</td>


    <td colspan="4" width="328">Seriously? A baby could use this.</td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    ¡°How will that help?¡± Miranda asked in disgust.


    ¡°I don¡¯t want to use my hands so¡­. Shovel.¡± Proudly displaying my creation once more I set to digging.


    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


    Two hours later I¡¯d dug up a hell of a lot of stuff. All of it trash. I mean it, trash. Have a look for yourself.


    <table width="509">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td width="83">


    Item Name


    </td>


    <td width="427">


    Trash


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td rowspan="2" width="83">


    Description


    </td>


    <td rowspan="2" width="427">


    It''s Trash. Why are you even reading the description?


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    I was frustrated but I wouldn¡¯t let my inability to capitalize on this slimmest of chances stop me. I mean, I¡¯m known for grinding. I can keep this up for a long while.This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.


    Chatting with Miranda about some classical TV shows I continued to dig.


    And dig.


    AAAAAANNNNDD DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGG!!!


    PING! The sound of a system message hooray! What did it say? A new skill!


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td width="601">


    Skill- Treasure Hunter Lv. 1: - Your greed knows no bounds, and archaeological sites would tremble in fear if they had emotions. You¡¯re on your way to becoming a fine grave robber. Keep it up!


    Effects:


    ¡¤ Small increase in discovery and drop rates from monsters and Digging.


    ¡¤ Archaeological related skills are easier to learn and level up.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    Continuing to dig, another system message popped up.


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td width="601">


    Title unlocked: Lord of Mud


    Skill unlocked: Digging


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    Let me check these as well, although they both give me a really bad feeling.


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td width="601">


    Title- Lord of Mud ¨C At home in the Earth as you are above it, your affinity for the soil means your skills that affect the earth are more effective.


    Effects:


    ¡¤ Minor increase in effects of Earth and soil related skills.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td width="601">


    Skill- Digging Lv. 1: - What do you think? You dig well. End of story.


    Effects:


    ¡¤ Minor increase in digging speed for each level of the skill


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    Why can I see a level on these skills and not on my swordplay skill?¡± I asked Miranda.


    ¡°These skills you acquired yourself and you know that you¡¯re at the beginning levels of its usage. The swordplay was the skill assigned to you by the system as a freebie due to your initial actions so you have to discover more about it yourself first.¡± She explained, her superior attitude coming back into force.


    ¡°There was something like that?¡± I cried out.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t read the manual did you, jackass.¡± Yep the attitudes back. I¡¯ll ignore her for now and get back to grinding.


    Great, now my digging will be even more effective.


    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


    Who says that hard work doesn¡¯t pay off? Looking at the small booklet in my hand my mouth was dry and Miranda was gaping at me. Seems she didn¡¯t really expect me to find anything. Maybe I have a high Luck stat? But I haven¡¯t seen Luck listed as an attribute.


    I carefully pried open the first page and sighed in sheer pleasure at the pop up window.


    <table width="509">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td width="83">


    Item Name


    </td>


    <td width="427">


    Force Manual


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td rowspan="2" width="83">


    Description


    </td>


    <td rowspan="2" width="427">


    Learn the secret skills of the Guardians of Peace.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    Skills! It says multiple skills! Great! Awesome!


    Let¡¯s learn.


    Turning the page another message appeared.


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td width="601">


    Warning!


    By learning this skillset, the manual will be used up and vanish.


    Do you wish to continue?


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    Yes, obviously!


    Nothing happened.


    Imploring Miranda with my eyes for an explanation she gave me a long-suffering look before complying.


    ¡°You have to actually read it Jin. You won¡¯t just magically get a skill.¡±


    Huh. Alright, reading time.


    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td width="601">


    Skill unlocked: Force Use Lv. 1


    Force Attribute unlocked (+unknown)


    Force Points attribute iunlocked (+unknown)


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td width="601">


    Skill- Force Use Lv. 1: - The skills of the Guardians of the Peace. Go out and spread Justice young apprentice!


    Effects:


    ¡¤ Ability to move things with your mind based on your Force attribute.


    ¡¤ Minor ability to sense danger and threats targeted at you.


    ¡¤ Minor ability to influence others.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    That is amazing! This will help a lot for sure. Now what does my status say?


    <table width="661">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="4" width="661">


    Status


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="174">


    Name


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="3" width="488">


    Lord Banana


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="174">


    Level


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="167">


    Go Find Out


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="154">


    Experience


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="167">


    135


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="174">


    Class


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="3" width="488">


    Nope


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="174">


    Titles


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="3" width="488">


    The Knight who didn¡¯t say Ni, Lord of Mud


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="4" width="661">


    Attributes


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="174">


    HP


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="167">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="154">


    MP


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="167">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="174">


    Strength


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="167">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="154">


    Charisma


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="167">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="174">


    Dexterity


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="167">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="154">


    Psych


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="167">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="174">


    Constitution


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="167">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="154">


    Magic


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="167">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="174">


    Wisdom


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="167">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="154">


    Force


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="167">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="174">


    Intelligence


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="167">


    Figure it out


    </td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="154">Force Points</td>


    <td style="text-align: center" width="167"></td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="4" width="661">


    Skills


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="4" width="661">


    Basic Swordplay, Treasure Hunter Lv. 1, Force Use Lv. 1*, Digging, Lv. 1


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td style="text-align: center" colspan="4" rowspan="9" width="661">


    *Skill unlocks attribute


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    Alternating my gaze between my sword and status screen I was so happy I started to dance on the spot.


    ¡°That decides it! I¡¯m gonna be a J*di.¡± I shouted into the forest, a stunned Miranda watching me cavorting. Of course, she can¡¯t understand a man¡¯s romance. Now to go find some harmless, unsuspecting creatures to test my new-found abilities on.

 Chapter 4 – It’s tough to develop your own style

    J*di suck.


    Really suck.


    They¡¯re fucking stupid.


    I¡¯ve been a fan as much as anyone else has been, despite that weird seventh reboot where everyone was a robot. Taking away whatever meager acting skills were required in a sci-fi franchise was an unmitigated disaster. Try watching subtitles as clunky robots totter around a giant sphere of destruction.


    Still watched it 4 times though.


    Each time more hideous than the last.


    Well, my attempts at being a Guardian of light and justice were doomed to failure from the start it seems. Sword in hand I had backtracked until I found more of my rabbit nemesises? Nemeses? Nemses? Bad evil opponents of mine.


    I waited until there was one rabbit slightly separated from the herd.


    Wait. Is a group of rabbits a herd?


    So, herd-less fiend that it was, I stalked it for a short while until I was sure there would be no interruptions. Focusing within myself I drew on the Force around me and felt my senses becoming sharper. Striding forth I drew my blade and let the power guide my swing in a decapitating strike.


    Decapitated the little fucker with one hit.


    Wonderful so far, right?


    Confident in my abilities, I decided to test my danger senses. Approaching two rabbits this time I decapitated the first and felt the second become enraged and charge at me. Clearly sensing the attack, I sidestepped and swung at the off-balance creature.


    Two rabbits less to plague the world.


    Next, three rabbits.


    That¡¯s when things started to go badly. I sensed the rabbits¡¯ attacks and was able to dodge, but my skills meant that I wasn¡¯t able to attack when I had to face two rabbits attacking me at the same time, the third already a headless mess on the ground. My attacks weren¡¯t flowing from one to the next and I knew it. It was one swing at a time and that wasn¡¯t going to work. So, I imitated the Katas I¡¯d seen the J*di use.


    Bad move.


    Turns out that spinning around in a fight is abominably stupid. Even with danger sense and the ability to guide my strikes more effectively, it takes a long time to complete a spin. So, as I fell back battered by these vicious rodents, I relied on my new trump card.


    Force Push! The attacking Rabbit was deflected to the side. (Seems I need to improve the skill, I could only shift its trajectory a little bit.) The deflection was enough to give me time to take out the other enemy before dispatching the attacker.


    Sounds like things were going well? Yeah, they were. Until I ran into the skeleton.


    Turns out Force abilities rely on sensing living beings. Faced with a clattering, ragged, undead being, it turns out that my vaunted abilities didn¡¯t sense its snarling, until it bit me.


    A skeleton bit me.


    I did the only rational thing when you¡¯ve been bitten. Scream and punch whatever the fuck it was in the head. Then take the head as a trophy. The minute the head flew off, the rest of the skeleton had become a puppet whose strings were cut and it collapsed. Note to self, when dealing with skeletons, remove skulls first.


    Unsure of where it came from, I fell back to the rabbit pasture, skull hanging on my belt, and continued my experiments. The more I swung my sword in spinning arcs the less effective I became. It only went further downhill when I tried to influence the rabbits¡¯ minds. Turns out rabbits don¡¯t think. Especially evil doom rabbits like the ones that I faced. My attempts to cloud their minds were disastrous at best and catastrophic on average.Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.


    How so?


    My desperation embarrassed me.


    ¡°This is not the banana you¡¯re looking for.¡± I told the hissing Rabbit while I was covered in its compatriots dried blood.


    ¡°Brilliant! Did you think of that line yourself?¡± Miranda opined while hovering above me.


    ¡°Its mind is too small to influence.¡± I whined as I drove my blade through its skull.


    ¡°Your mind needs to be bigger than the creatures that you want to influence.¡± She cheerfully criticized.


    Taking too long to come up with a retort I decapitated the Rabbit in vengeance, and returned to grinding (Read: Murder).


    I was ecstatic when I heard the system ping to announce something new after my 150<sup>th</sup> rabbit.


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td width="601">


    Swordstyle created: Dancing Blades of the Guardian


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    Although my happiness vanished pretty quickly when I read the description.


    <table>


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td width="601">


    Swordstyle: - Dancing Blades of the Guardian Lv.1:- Created by a force empowered apprentice, these beautiful artistic movements are an excellent style for performance. Lacking the ferocity and ability of traditional sword styles, these moves are highly appreciated by the layman and scoffed at by the expert.


    Effects when this style is used:


    ¡¤ The movements of the sword appear clearer and charismatic.


    ¡¤ Damage reduced.


    ¡¤ Speed increased.


    ¡¤ Easier to Bluff, Intimidate and Perform using this style.


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    So, I¡¯m on my way to becoming a successful sword artist. That¡¯s probably not the direction I want to go, and that¡¯s why the only option I¡¯m left with is empowering myself with the force to sense things and just hack away at whatever the fuck comes at me.


    My experiments with the rabbits complete I found the mountain range, did a 180 and walked in the opposite direction as fast as I could. Not interested in searching the range, I figured the best thing would be to get as far from it as I could. Eventually Miranda would find some village somewhere and I could happily dispose of my spoils and get clean clothes.


    I need clothes because the blood won¡¯t go. Not because I pissed myself when bitten by the skeleton. Absolutely not.


    This time I carefully moved through the woods. Or, as carefully as a blood-soaked man with a sword and skull can move.


    The skulls for my next recitation of Hamlet. Joking. It looked valuable and when I¡¯d tried to identify it the result had been intriguing.


    <table width="587">


    <tbody>


    <tr>


    <td width="96">


    Item Name


    </td>


    <td width="491">


    Mysterious skull


    </td>


    </tr>


    <tr>


    <td width="96">


    Description


    </td>


    <td width="491">


    A Mysterious Skull you removed from a Skeleton


    </td>


    </tr>


    </tbody>


    </table>


    Mysterious is a very intriguing word don¡¯t you think?


    So, I trudged through the woods with a snarky flying companion in tow until it started turning dark. Darkness is bad. Really bad. There¡¯s not a single game that doesn¡¯t make things bad for you at night. It¡¯s already difficult to see but they have to make sure that you suffer even more from stronger monsters and all sorts of creepy crawlies.


    That¡¯s why I ran.


    It¡¯s also how I discovered there was a limit on stamina. I couldn¡¯t keep running indefinitely, but it wasn¡¯t as bad as my real-life stamina. Not that my stamina in the real world is all that bad, it¡¯s just difficult to get time to exercise with a desk job.


    Luckily the running did the trick and I managed to break out of the forest onto some plains.


    Out of breath and sweating, I gazed at the massive plains that stretched out before me. These are the kinds of plains you see on old records of the African savannahs, filled with grass and sparse foliage. The blazing red sunset flaring against the horizon like a thousand tendrils reaching across the Earth. Blurry shadows of indeterminate size stalked the plains and I could only stare in wonderment at the sight. It may not be much to you, but to someone who has never seen anything of this sort ever before it¡¯s an astonishing thing.


    ¡°Any luck Miranda?¡± I questioned after my breath came back.


    ¡°Not sure Jin. I¡¯m pretty sure there¡¯s a village in that direction but I¡¯m getting some weird readings that I don¡¯t understand.¡± The frown on her face may have concerned an average human but not someone as magnificent as me.


    I don¡¯t care to be honest. I want a bath so, off to whatever the hell weird village we¡¯ve discovered.


    Oops better retie the Mysterious skull. Damn things jaw clacks with each step when it gets loose.


    It¡¯s pretty creepy.