《The Tower's Alchemist (The Gray Tower Trilogy #1)》


 Chapter 1

    I never imagined my first trip to Denmark would include crouching in a forest in the dark of night, but at least the beech trees gave Lyder and me much needed cover. I rose to my feet and stood over him, jerking my head to the right to indicate that we needed to pack up and head out. When he waved me off, I shut the transmitter case with my foot and trained my sten gun on him.


    He glared at me. ¡°I wasn¡¯t done with my radio transmission.¡±


    ¡°You went over by five minutes. That means they¡¯ll be coming.¡± I had little patience for people who did things that would likely get me killed.


    He pulled out a pistol and grabbed the case. ¡°I¡¯m ready.¡±


    I flinched when the first gunshot rang. It took the SS little effort to pinpoint our position. Lyder jumped to his feet and ran with me through the forest. I breathed in through my nose and out of my mouth, like I¡¯d do when taking a jog. I felt a cold lump in the pit of my stomach as my shoes haphazardly crushed dry leaves and twigs beneath them. We heard voices, dogs barking, and, where the forest cleared, we saw the headlights of a trekker sitting in the middle of the road.


    Great, we¡¯ve just been flanked.


    With heavy breaths, we paused and pressed ourselves against the trunk of a tree as if it were all the protection we needed.


    ¡°Any bright ideas, Sergeant?¡± I pulled out my golden knife and began carving repetitions of two alchemical symbols into the soft earth: Fire and Air.


    ¡°We make a stand and fight.¡± He dropped the case and pulled out another pistol. ¡°They¡¯ll likely force us to surrender once they see my uniform.¡±


    ¡°Bad plan.¡± They might take an officer of the Danish army as a prisoner of war, but if they caught a woman in civilian clothing with a machine gun aimed at them, they¡¯d kill me on the spot¡ªor take me in for interrogation with a nice dose of torture and then kill me.


    ¡°Drop your weapons,¡± a voice on a loud hailer commanded, first in English and then in German. It came from the trekker. From the other side I heard the dogs¡¯ howling grow louder and men¡¯s boots trampling crisp leaves.


    Lyder raised his guns and fired at one of the SS officers who made his way down from the trekker. It looked like he was hit in the shoulder, but he quickly reciprocated the gunfire. I took the opposite side and aimed my gun, hitting him with a burst of bullets. The officer grunted and fell to the ground. I began feeding my Fire and Air symbols with energy, and slowly built up the power I needed in them.


    Lyder shivered and stared at me. ¡°What are you doing?¡±


    ¡°Saving our lives.¡± My right hand shook as a warning, but I ignored it and continued. I held off the effects of the spell just long enough so I could blast the other men in range.


    We moved to another tree when the men from behind sent gunfire and their vicious dogs our way. When they were close enough, I released the symbols, and sparks began forming in the air. The sparks grew into flames and, joined by Air, became a whirlwind of fire. I directed the firestorm toward everyone behind us, and confusion and panic broke out. Some of the men fell back, while others were caught in the raging flames and burned alive. Still, others ran for cover and waited. I nudged Lyder, who simply stared at the spectacle, and urged him to follow me.


    ¡°Emelie, why are you going toward the trekker?¡± he asked.


    ¡°A trekker only holds two at most. I¡¯d rather go against one soldier than twenty.¡± I felt something wet trickle down my nose and knew it was blood. I relinquished any remaining hold I had on the firestorm, and, with fear, I awaited the inevitable physical exhaustion to creep in.


    We headed up the dirt embankment and saw that the trekker still had its lights on, but no one moved there or made any further demands on the loud hailer. Where did the second man go? Lyder suddenly shouted a warning, but it was too late. The man we were looking for had wrapped his arm around Lyder¡¯s neck from behind and lifted him up against the embankment with little effort. Lyder dropped his weapons and began kicking his legs in the air and clawing at the man¡¯s arm to no avail. His strength was simply inhuman.


    ¡°Drop your weapon, or I¡¯ll break his neck.¡±


    I placed it on the ground in front of me and held my hands up in the air. ¡°Who are you?¡±


    He released Lyder and made a quick blow to the back of his head to knock him unconscious. ¡°A rich man, once I hand you over. They like collecting Tower Slaves.¡±


    He jumped from the top of the embankment and landed on his feet. He wore no uniform, only a dark sweater and trousers. I sensed the taint of dark magic on him and I cursed at myself for having wasted so much of my strength earlier.


    ¡°I¡¯m not with the Gray Tower.¡± I trembled from fatigue and lowered my arms.


    ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter.¡± He gave a smug smile, watching me reel from the effects of my previous strong rush of magic.


    He pulled out a pair of Czech swivel cuffs. When I sensed the amount of iron present in them, I lifted my wrists and allowed him to cuff me. Obviously this warlock wasn¡¯t an alchemist. As soon as the cuffs clicked shut, I threw my arms up high and over his head and pulled him toward me so that the cuffs pressed into the back of his neck. We were locked in an embrace. I manipulated the iron, letting it do the work for me and turning it into a weapon that would corrode and blacken his flesh. He began struggling and screeching, unable to hit me with a spell because I was right up against him. He did put aside the pain long enough to figure out that he could strangle me. He wrapped his hands around my neck and squeezed with the ferocity of desperation.


    There we were, in near silence, arms around each other and neither one intending to let go until the other dropped dead. Tonight, however, would not be that night for me. A spray of blood hit me across the face as the corrosion from the iron cuffs ate into part of his neck. I fell down with the weight of his body, coughing and sputtering. After I managed to wriggle free, I tried to find a key on him, but his pockets turned up nothing¡ªexcept a business card for a Dr. Falk Meier, which made me shudder.Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.


    My wrists burned from the spell and my legs felt like rubber. I stumbled over to my sten gun and picked it up before limping over to Lyder. I prodded him and called his name a few times, uttering a silent prayer of thanks when his eyes blinked open. ¡°Lyder, we have to get out of here.¡± I coughed again, but this time it was due to the forest fire smoke billowing toward us.


    ¡°Where are my guns?¡± he groaned.


    ¡°There.¡± I nodded over to my right and he rushed toward the weapons to reclaim them.


    The other men who ran off were regrouping and we heard them in the distance. I helped him to his feet and we dashed south alongside the road, trying to make it back into town where my safe house stood. I was already running out of breath and hardly managed to keep up with him.


    ¡°You couldn¡¯t find a key?¡± He glanced at my wrists and then his gaze went back to the road.


    My eyes narrowed. ¡°Yes, but then I decided that I liked wearing Czechoslovakian handcuffs.¡±


    I stumbled and nearly fell, but he caught me and pulled me along with him at a quick pace. I had to give him credit¡ªhe wasn¡¯t going to stop for anything.


    When we reached town, a few resistance fighters who were appointed as lookouts signaled to us and guided us through back alleys until we reached the safe house. Once inside, Lyder immediately shed his uniform jacket and grabbed a bottle of liquor. I, on the other hand, asked my hostess Kanja if she knew how to pick locks.


    She grabbed her smallest blade from the kitchen and held it up with a grimace. ¡°I don¡¯t know what to do,¡± she said.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, I¡¯ll walk you through it.¡± I sat at her kitchen table and held out my wrists.


    She sat across from me with a frightened expression. ¡°Perhaps Sergeant Lyder¡ª¡±


    ¡°He¡¯s busy getting drunk, thank you.¡±


    ¡°I''m not drunk yet,¡± Lyder said. ¡°Can''t you transmute those cuffs anyway?¡±


    ¡°Maybe one day I¡¯ll be able to. Kanja, my wrists are badly hurt. Would you mind?¡±


    She sucked in a deep breath. ¡°Then...tell me what to do.¡±


    I guided her through each step, using encouraging words and a soothing voice. When the cuffs clicked open, I winced and gave her a pained smile. ¡°Thank you. You¡¯re a very brave young woman.¡±


    She couldn¡¯t have been older than eighteen, but then losing one¡¯s parents and joining the Resistance made one grow up rather quickly. I looked up at Lyder when he set a glass in front of me and poured me a drink. He grew much more subdued.


    ¡°To another day of cheating death.¡± He finished off the rest of the bottle.


    ¡°Just remember not to go over a thirty-minute broadcast. Ever.¡±


    ¡°God, I¡¯m going to have a headache in the morning,¡± he said, rummaging through Kanja¡¯s cabinets.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to be aching all over,¡± I complained. I was so exhausted from the fight that I didn¡¯t think I had the energy to mend my wrists with magic. I thanked Kanja once more when she went over to the sink and brought a wet towel for me. I had forgotten that my face was bloodstained.


    I wiped my forehead and cheeks clean. As soon as I downed my drink, I felt sick. The house suddenly quaked and unnatural screeches filled the air. People began shouting and screaming, and the sound of gunshots popped in long bursts. I didn¡¯t even have to look out the window to know that Black Wolves had landed.


    ¡°Get into the closet!¡± I rose from my seat and shoved Kanja toward the bedroom. Lyder was on my heels.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on out there?¡± he asked, as I pulled them both inside and shut the door.


    ¡°Everyone, quiet. Don¡¯t move, don¡¯t speak, and don¡¯t breathe.¡± I sucked in a quick breath when the pain in my wrists flared up, but I managed to get us into the compartment behind the secret panel in the back wall.


    I crouched in the compartment and closed my eyes, emptying my mind of any fear or expectations, focusing only on cloaking my abilities. A Circle of Protection would¡¯ve just served as a beacon for the Wolves¡ªI needed to hide, to be nothing to them.


    We heard more gunshots and screams. Somewhere nearby, glass shattered and a car screeched before colliding into something. When the house shook again with a crash, we thought a grenade hit part of the house. We thought better of it when it sounded like something heavy with talons came walking down the hallway and scratching up the hardwood floor. I opened my eyes when I heard a grunt. Through a crack in the panel we saw the Black Wolf¡¯s shadow blot out the stream of light coming from beneath the door. Lyder pressed his hand over his mouth and Kanja pulled out a tiny crucifix and held it close.


    Lyder looked like he would sick up at any moment when a set of claws, attached to a human-looking hand, reached beneath the door and spread out. I continued concentrating on cloaking myself and lightly extended it to the others in the closet. My head throbbed and I felt feverish. I knew that if I kept pushing myself, that I¡¯d faint. The only thing that kept me from passing out and hitting the floor was the fact that I wouldn¡¯t be able to do it quietly.


    The claws ripped the door open with a yank, and I feared the false panel that separated us would not remain secret for long. A garbled voice from outside called to the Wolf and it pulled away, making a long whoosh that resounded throughout the hallway. The kitchen window shattered and the menacing presence that permeated the house dissipated.


    None of us moved or spoke for nearly a half hour. Lyder licked his dry lips and finally stuttered. ¡°T-they said if our government surrendered, that they wouldn¡¯t send the Black Wolves.¡±


    I shook my head. ¡°They¡¯re a bunch of liars who can¡¯t be trusted. Put that in your next radio broadcast.¡±


    Lyder groaned. ¡°I left my radio set out in the forest.¡±


    Kanja cleared her throat. ¡°Is it safe to go outside now?¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s best we stay here a little longer. Just in case.¡± I placed my hand on her shoulder. My wrists felt slightly numb.


    ¡°And you said the Gray Tower trained you?¡± Lyder threw me a dubious glance.


    ¡°Do you want to go fight a half-monster that likes to eat people for lunch? I don¡¯t get into tangles with Wolves unless I have to.¡± Besides, I was so drained that I didn¡¯t think I could get up and move, even if I had wanted to.


    ¡°What time is your pilot coming to pick you up?¡± Lyder asked.


    ¡°Midnight. I¡¯ll be ready by then.¡±


    ¡°I hope we can see you again,¡± Kanja said with a weak smile.


    ¡°I hope so too. Hopefully when we¡¯re not under the threat of a painful death.¡±


    Lyder chuckled. ¡°Fits the job description, doesn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°Then maybe I need to find a new job.¡±


    I knew I said that every few weeks, but this time I think I meant it. How many more times would I push my limits and run weak and tired with a bloody nose? Or get trapped in a closet with a Black Wolf sniffing at me? Kanja had no business being my host, but she was the only one who volunteered¡ªand probably the only one left alive.


    She looked at me with triumph in her eyes, probably unaware of how close we all were to evisceration. I felt guilty at both having her involved and the prospect of never returning to help. In my heart, I knew the truth that I¡¯d have to speak aloud when I made it back to Baker Street¡ªI was tired, and at this stage I¡¯d be of use to no one.

 Chapter 2

    I really wanted to tell Brande to take his glass of dry Sherry and get the hell out of my office, but you couldn¡¯t say that to a wizard without there being trouble. I lowered my gaze and rustled papers on my desk, hoping maybe he¡¯d get the hint, but he obviously felt he had a few last words to say.


    ¡°I¡¯ll probably be able to see you again in a few months. It¡¯s becoming more difficult to enter and leave Prague...I hope you understand.¡±


    ¡°Well,¡± I lifted my gaze and met his, ¡°that¡¯s what happens when you let a gang of Nazis run into your territory.¡±


    ¡°Isabella¡ª¡±


    ¡°When we¡¯re over here, I¡¯m Emelie.¡±


    He waved his hand and took another sip of Sherry. ¡°Of course, Emelie. If we had been ready, perhaps we could¡¯ve fought them off without any trouble. But now...¡± he shook his head and it made me feel a pang of guilt for being dismissive.


    ¡°We¡¯re all trying to do what we can, right?¡± I placed my hand over his in a conciliatory gesture. I knew how he felt when the Gray Tower did nothing as the SS and German Armed Forces rolled into Czechoslovakia and took over. However, the Order of Wizards couldn¡¯t make a move without being detected by certain enemies of our own.


    I knew he would¡¯ve been first in line to fight off the enemy despite that fact, and that¡¯s what I was already doing in my own way. I had to admit that I couldn¡¯t escape the nagging feeling that we were so wrapped up in living for a cause, that sometimes it felt like life passed us by. He and I could have easily enjoyed our drinks over a dinner table in a dimly lit nightclub with our bodies swaying to the beat of music. It would have been a nice change of scene from the solitude and monotony of my cramped office.


    Knowing Brande though, he probably thought this was just fine¡ªwhich was a shame because what girl wouldn¡¯t want to be seen in public with him? I didn¡¯t realize my hand was still touching his as I thought about all this, and he gave me a quizzical look (but he didn¡¯t withdraw his hand, either).


    I pulled my hand away, a little flushed, and just then Ian walked in carrying a file. Brande acknowledged him with a nod and Ian did the same. When Brande faced me again, I saw Ian pointing toward the left wall, at an informational poster that you could find posted in nearly every pub in London nowadays. It portrayed men wearing military uniforms, frozen in laughter with a group of women hanging onto them. A caption at the bottom of the poster read: What you say to your friends...could be heard by the enemy!


    I always laughed at that poster hanging in here, but I¡¯ve seen some inexperienced operatives unwittingly betray themselves and their cohorts by not taking that motto to heart.


    ¡°Emelie.¡± Ian cleared his throat. ¡°The file is ready.¡± He furtively glanced at Brande.


    ¡°I swear I tried to make him leave,¡± I said as I shrugged my shoulders. Ian was even less patient with Brande¡¯s presence than I was.


    Brande pulled a package from a hidden pocket inside his trench coat. ¡°Your emerald spectacles, jade powder, and red garnet lipstick.¡±


    ¡°Thank you.¡±


    I didn¡¯t always have time to make or procure enchanted items, and I appreciated whenever he delivered them. Emerald granted the ability to see in the dark; jade¡¯s healing powers had saved me from grievous wounds and poison on several occasions, and I used red garnet sparingly as it inspired romantic desires and aggression. I learned a long time ago to manipulate the magical qualities in these stones and work them into everyday items. Whipping out a stone wasn¡¯t very subtle and, in my line of work, a lack of subtlety could get you killed.


    Brande handed me the coveted items and finished his Sherry. ¡°Perhaps you¡¯ll come to the Gray Tower once you¡¯re done playing spy with the British.¡± He rose from his seat and shouldered his way past Ian, leaving us alone in the office. I didn¡¯t know why, but Brande¡¯s comment stung me.


    I looked at Ian. ¡°I know what you¡¯re going to say¡ª¡±


    ¡°I trust you, not him. Besides, don¡¯t you think it¡¯s all part of a nefarious plot that the Gray Tower sends him over? If Bernadine actually did her job and stopped gushing over him at the reception desk, then maybe I could get a few words out of the bloke.¡±


    I let out an irritated sigh. ¡°I swear, sometimes you act as if you don¡¯t want a wizard on staff. If that¡¯s the case, then you shouldn¡¯t have recruited me.¡±


    He shook his head as if saying he wasn¡¯t going down that road today. ¡°Look, when are you going to let us take this out?¡± He glanced at the other half of the office, where an empty desk and chair stood collecting dust. Notes and pictures clung to the wall.


    ¡°Why do you suddenly care?¡± My eyes narrowed. I noticed, when I had first joined the Special Operations Executive, that all the men had their own offices, while all the women had to pair up and share, sometimes three to an office.


    My officemate and friend was a girl named Stella, whose husband died in a battle last year. She wanted to help the Resistance in any way she could, and successfully ran missions for us, but she hadn¡¯t reported back to us since January¡ªnow it was the middle of June.


    ¡°We¡¯ve got a new recruit, I think you¡¯ll like her.¡±


    ¡°Not interested. What do you have for me?¡± The last thing I needed was a wide-eyed new girl following me around, talking about how swell it was to spy on the Nazis.


    He opened the file to reveal a dossier and pointed toward a profile picture of an older gentleman. ¡°I presume you¡¯ve heard of Dr. Veit Heilwig?¡±


    ¡°The scientist? Yes.¡±


    ¡°For the past three months Allied forces have been taking heavy blows from the Nazis on the Western Front. The bastards have been violating the Geneva Protocol and unleashing a new chemical weapon on our soldiers. We have evidence that¡ª¡±


    ¡°There may be more than just chemicals in those weapons?¡± I fondled the Agate stone set in my ring.


    He nodded. ¡°Do you remember that incident with the poisoned food and water?¡±


    ¡°Believe me, I¡¯m not forgetting that anytime soon.¡±


    The contaminated goods were unwittingly dispersed among Ally soldiers throughout Europe. Over a thousand men died before it could be counteracted and hundreds more were still lying in hospital beds, strangely disfigured and barely alive. All we could do was separate and destroy the contaminated food, and there was still no known cure.


    ¡°That was Heilwig¡¯s work. Now he¡¯s perfected it...they¡¯re calling it The Plague. At this rate he¡¯ll win the war for Hitler and the Black Wolves, and that¡¯s exactly why we need another alchemist to go up against him, neutralize the new chemical weapons he¡¯s developed, and take him out.¡±


    ¡°You want me to kill him?¡±


    ¡°No, take him out of France. We want to extract him.¡±


    ¡°Why do you want him alive?¡± And how exactly did they want me to kidnap him? You couldn¡¯t just walk up to a warlock, cuff him and tell him to come along. Next time I¡¯d save my plaintive musings about life passing me by in favor of wanting to just live another day. This was going to be a tough mission.


    ¡°Just...read the dossier. I¡¯ve got MI6 breathing down my neck over this one and Morton¡¯s just dying for an excuse to discredit us.¡±


    ¡°My goodness, we wouldn¡¯t want that, now would we?¡± Discredit happened to be the least of my worries, buddy¡ªI could be rotting in Dr. Meier¡¯s Nazi experimental program by next week if I failed. Half the things I heard about it I refused to believe, and the other half I resolved to never find out through experience. I swore this would be my last assignment. If I had any sense left, I¡¯d gracefully exit the stage and go quietly live my life elsewhere...preferably with a handsome guy who didn¡¯t mind that I created explosions and induced heart attacks.This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.


    Ian rolled his eyes. Sometimes I wondered if he wanted to throttle me for my backtalk. ¡°Report to the hangar tomorrow at the appointed time so Richard can take you over to Paris. And don¡¯t be late.¡±


    ¡°Ian...¡±


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    I felt like squirming in my seat. ¡°You got my resignation letter, right? I put it on your desk this morning.¡±


    He pursed his lips. ¡°I wanted to give you some time to think it over. That Denmark job really got to you, didn¡¯t it?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll do this last assignment, but promise me you¡¯ll have the final paperwork ready to sign when I return from Paris.¡± My shoulders tensed in anticipation of his objections. I was certain he¡¯d go on about how much SOE needed me.


    ¡°All right then,¡± he said in a low voice. ¡°I don¡¯t want to see you go, but if that¡¯s what you want...¡±


    As he turned and headed toward the door with his gangly walk, I glanced at the clock on the wall and winced. Ideally my routine would have been to nestle in my reclining chair and eat dinner by 7 p.m., but instead 8 o¡¯ clock stared back at me without apology. I flipped through the dossier, noting the most important details and memorizing Dr. Heilwig¡¯s face. Once was dropped into Paris tomorrow evening, I wouldn¡¯t have the dossier to reference, nor any identification papers or passports on me.


    We did this for two reasons: an agent¡¯s counterfeit identification could be damaged or lost during transport anyway, and in the case of arrest, the Gestapo often found it difficult to verify or prove she was a spy. I usually obtained papers from trusted sources on an as-needed basis, but if I didn¡¯t need them, then I did not carry papers. When I first began this, I found it all exciting because it allowed me to be anyone I wanted. After a few months, I ended up feeling like I was no one.


    Sometimes I had to remind myself that Emelie was just my code name, and that her preferred mannerisms or activities weren¡¯t necessarily the ones Isabella George liked. My officemate Stella went to France often under the name Angela Wyatt, and had chosen it because her mother¡¯s first name was Angela and she obsessed over the 16th Century poet Thomas Wyatt.


    After my first few missions, I grew apathetic in choosing names. Ian suggested Emelie because, he said, when he was younger, he had always wanted a little sister by that name. Since he never got one and I was the closest thing to it, he had said I should go with the moniker, and I¡¯ve been using it ever since.


    My lips curved into a slight smile at remembering this, but then turned into a frown as I thought about Stella¡¯s failure to report back. Wherever she was, I hoped that she had only been delayed and needed to hide with the French Resistance, or was already en route to London. In any case, I wanted Stella¡¯s belongings to remain here, untouched. If she happened to return¡ªI didn¡¯t want her to think we gave up on her so quickly. In keeping with my weekly routine, I grabbed my dusty handkerchief from my desk drawer and wiped off her belongings.


    I wondered, with a twinge of sadness, if anyone would do that for me if I were missing for five months, and I didn¡¯t even want to think about what Ian would have to tell my family under those circumstances: So sorry, your daughter wasn¡¯t really working for the U.S. Ambassador to Britain¡ªshe was gallivanting about Europe engaging in counter-missions against the Nazis because we couldn¡¯t afford Hitler¡¯s occult powers to gain an advantage over Allied forces.


    It would kill my mother and brother to find out about me that way, and although pride kept me from saying it, the longer Stella went missing, the more anxious I grew that I could very well be next. Then what? Without a doubt, this would have to be my last mission behind enemy lines.


    ***


    When I arrived at my flat, I pulled out the few supplies I would take with me to Paris: a wad of francs, the enchanted items Brande brought me, and my golden alchemist¡¯s knife. I placed them on my nightstand and then headed into the kitchen to fix myself dinner. I went through the cabinets and refrigerator, but found nothing that piqued my appetite. My friend Jane Lewis usually came home around this time. She cooked enticing meals like lamb stew and meatloaf. Most importantly, she generously shared them with me.


    I still hopelessly tried to make an American dish every now and then, but I would only end up frustrated and yearning for home while my belly rumbled. I decided to see what Jane was cooking and went downstairs to her flat on the first floor. I knocked a couple of times, and she answered the door, wearing a dirty apron and wiping flour from her hands. Her freckled face broke into a smile, and she welcomed me in.


    ¡°Please, have a seat, Isabella. I was just finishing the liver sandwiches.¡± She went back into her kitchen and pulled a dish out of the oven.


    ¡°Liver sandwiches?¡± I wanted to grimace, but unless I was cooking for myself, I had no right to object.


    ¡°Well, it¡¯s more like a meat-filled pastry.¡±


    ¡°Filled with liver?¡± As if I were supposed to overlook that fact.


    ¡°Not everyone in the world eats loads of fried cows and cheese.¡±


    ¡°This is going to be interesting.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m trying to follow the ration recipes from Woman¡¯s Weekly.¡± She gestured toward the magazine on her coffee table.


    ¡°Is it that bad?¡± I went over and grabbed the magazine, flipping through its pages. I took a few moments to scan its housekeeping articles and recipes.


    ¡°If you went to buy food more often, you¡¯d know.¡± She arranged the liver sandwiches on two plates and invited me to come sit with her at the dining table.


    ¡°You¡¯re cooking an awful lot lately.¡± I took a bite and gave silent thanks that she had at least seasoned the meat.


    ¡°Well, I¡¯m just honing my housekeeping skills, you know.¡± She bit into her sandwich and turned her left hand to reveal a diamond engagement ring on her finger. She must have slipped it on in the kitchen.


    ¡°Congratulations, Jane.¡± With a smile I got up and threw my arms around her. ¡°I didn¡¯t know...have I been away that long?¡±


    ¡°It was all so sudden, even I¡¯m still surprised.¡± Her face simply glowed.


    ¡°Garret is a lucky man.¡± I frowned when she took it upon herself to plop another sliver of sandwich into my mouth. I wondered if she hid some stew or dumplings in the refrigerator and this was all to torture me.


    ¡°And it came at the perfect time. I was wondering last week what I was going to do with myself.¡±


    My smile faded. ¡°You were tired, weren¡¯t you?¡±


    She nodded and tears formed in her eyes. ¡°I don¡¯t want you to get the wrong idea. I still believe in what we¡¯re fighting for, but we all have to retire some time, right?¡±


    ¡°Sure we do.¡±


    Jane¡¯s sister, Anna, had been one of three Special Operations Executive agents arrested by Nazis last October in the Netherlands. She was immediately sentenced to death by firing squad. They had no pity on her because she was a woman; the SS shot her down and threw her body into a heaping pile of other victims.


    ¡°Besides,¡± she wiped her face, ¡°I¡¯m getting old and I want babies. All my girlfriends who I grew up with are married off and raising families.¡±


    ¡°Well I¡¯m glad for you, Jane. You deserve a happy life with Garret.¡±


    I asked her to recount the whole proposal from beginning to end. I asked to see her ring again and secretly felt a mixture of excitement and envy. Afterward, I offered to clear the table and wash dishes so she wouldn¡¯t try to feed me anything else. We made small talk the rest of the time, and she reminded me about some letters she held for me. I thanked her and continued cleaning the kitchen, wiping down the counters and saving scraps of leftover food.


    I couldn¡¯t help but steal glances of her engagement ring every few minutes and savor the sweet smoothness of the gold it was made of. As an alchemist, I had a natural ability to taste the metallic essence of metals. I eyed the shining round-cut diamond set in the middle and wondered if I would cry or jump with excitement if someone ever proposed to me.


    Though my life as a spy did have its share of excitement, I couldn¡¯t deny the mental, physical, and even spiritual drain that this line of work had on me. I remembered days when I would refuse to get out of bed because weariness or distress had dragged me down. Even when Ian had sent a car for me, I wouldn¡¯t answer. At other times I¡¯d return from a mission with a stone cold face and impenetrable heart, and then, as soon as I stepped through my doorway, I would start bawling. I called it being tired, and I understood what Jane felt.


    I wasn¡¯t going to lie to myself. I wanted to be married one day, move somewhere close to my brother and his wife, and watch our kids grow up together. I wanted to be able to stroll through my quiet little neighborhood not having to wonder if the friendly neighbor down the street was an enemy operative with a gun behind his back. I wanted to be in control of how I lived, and I couldn¡¯t reconcile this with living and dying by others¡¯ orders.


    ¡°I should go back up to my flat. I¡¯m going to Paris tomorrow.¡± I came back into the living room and leaned over the sofa to give Jane a peck on the cheek.


    ¡°Be careful, do you hear me?¡±


    ¡°You know I will, because I want to make it back for your wedding. When will it be?¡±


    ¡°March, of next year.¡± She got up and walked me over to the door.


    ¡°I think I can make it back by then.¡±


    She laughed. ¡°You¡¯d better. And I want to come to yours one day.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯d have to find a guy to stick with me first.¡±


    We said our goodnights and I headed back upstairs, feeling loneliness creep upon me. I quickly changed, got into bed, and began browsing through the letters Jane gave me. Some were bills, others were solicitations for mail order catalogs, and, of course, I received my letter from Jonathan. I tossed the others aside and opened his cryptic letter, written under the pseudonym Sherman Woods.


    I told him a long time ago that since I had access to ¡°sensitive information in the ambassador¡¯s office,¡± that my employer frowned upon casual and steady communication with family and friends. Johnnie took it upon himself to start writing me once a month using a silly code language we used to communicate in when we were children.


    I always found his letters, and the effort he put into them, amusing and gratefully welcomed. In fact, I found the elaborate system we came up with quite impressive. The codes would actually work if I wanted to use them for a real mission. As I read his account of his weekly triumphs and worries, as well as how mother was faring, I wistfully thought of the look on his face if I were to just show up on his doorstep.


    Well, perhaps I could do that once this mission was over. The sooner I extracted Heilwig and got rid of The Plague, the sooner I could be finished and truly go home. I slowly drifted into a restless sleep, hoping for this outcome, and of course, wondering what my final assignment would be like.