《The Melancholy of An Immortal》


 Chapter 1: It was then that I first felt desire

    God''s first attempt at the ''Perfect being''. That is what I, Ambrose, am supposed to be.


    I was supposed to be the ideal being, created in God''s image. The perfect mind, the perfect body and undying.


    In the eyes of man, I was everything they wanted to be, however in the eyes of the one who created me, I was much too flawed.


    So it tried to get rid of me through various methods. It even sent a meteor to crash down on top of me.


    However, not even God could kill me. I, in the complete sense of the word, was immortal.


    And it was because of this immortality that I was considered a failure to God.


    Humans could find meaning to life in their endless desire for their ''needs'', but I never ''needed'' anything to live.


    I did not require food. I did not require water or protection from harm or even air to breath. I had nothing from which I could derive meaning from.


    Which is why I never felt any real desire from the beginning.


    I simplyexisted.


    I have lived a long time. Longer than humans have existed.


    I have watched the beings earlier humans called ''Gods'' as they ruled their land. I have seen human civilizations rise and fall. I have witnessed all of human history and because of this mind mind I have, I remember every second of it.


    My life was meaningless as I watched humans go about their lives.


    Until I looked across the crowd of people and saw her.


    It was then that I first felt desire.


    My heart began to beat faster than it ever had before, my body wouldn''t moveand I couldn''t shake the feeling of being nervous when looking at her.


    Looking back, she certainly would not be called the most beautiful or elegant woman by any of the other bystanders, in fact to everyone else she was just another face in the crowd drifting by, but to me she looked like the ''Perfect being'' God had tried to make.


    However, as inexperienced in such feelings as I was, I was completely oblivious to the fact that I had fallen deeply in love with her.


    I remember thinking that these feelings may be the feeling of ''Fear'' one feels when they see their imminent death.


    So I wanted to stay away from her, but that idea made my heartache so terribly I actually feel to my knees clutching my chest with tears in my eyes.


    I was confused and scared, I didn''t know what was happening to me or why I was acting in such a way whenever I thought of leaving her, who I was so sure would be my death.


    At the scene of a crying man clutching his chest, the other bystanders moved around to avoid me, fearful that I may have been possessed by something.


    I simply sat there unsure of what to do until I heard a voice ask me if I was okay.


    The voice felt like a sweet melody that was being played only for me. I felt the pain withdraw and my confusion and fear were completely forgotten as I etched the voice in my memory.


    The person asked me if I was okay a second time with a little more urgency.


    "Nn. Yes I am well."


    I was feeling more than just ''well'', I felt at peace for the first time in my everlasting life. I wished to witness the owner of such a wonderful voice as I properly gave my thanks and as I looked up. I saw her staring back at me with a worried look on her face.


    The previous feelings had returned, but with a newly added feeling. The feeling of sadness.


    "Ah...ah..."


    I can speak fluently in every language and know nearly every single word that has ever been written, but in that moment I couldn''t think of anything to say, I was too perplexed by the emotions I was feeling for the first time.Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.


    "Are you sure you are okay?" she asked.


    Not knowing what to even think let alone say, I did the only thing that made sense at the time. I ran away.


    It hurt me to do so, but the sadness and fear prevented my from looking back.


    Hours later, after I had regained my composure, I decided to follow her and try to determine what those feelings were and why she was the only one who made me act that way.


    Looking back, I should have been more courageous before it was too late, but then again I didn''t know of the misfortune that would befall.


    Just mere weeks after I had met her she had caught a terrible illness that would later be called the ''Black plague''.


    She had been walking down the same street I first saw her, the very street which had once been packed with people was now nearly devoid of life with dead bodies littering the surroundings.


    Even weak as she was, she went around helping the poor souls who had also been caught by the plague. My heart ached at the sight of her using that last of her own strength to help others. I couldn''t understand why she would do such a thing for others when she could save her strength and try to save herself. After all I had seen many human in the pas go to extreme length to save their own skin.


    Yet here she was, a phantom of her previous self, helping those worse than herself.


    And she continued doing that right up until the day she exhausted the last of her strength and collapsed.


    I rushed towards her before I could even think and picked her up in my arms.


    "I...I need to get you some hel..."


    Even as I frantically looked around at the other infected people in hopes of finding someone that could help her, she grabbed the collar of my shirt and looked at me.


    "Ah...It''s you. I''m glad you are....safe, but...you should put me down...and...cover your...n...nose... So you don''t...get...infected."


    I was shocked. Not only had she remembered me, she was also prioritizing my safety over her own. At her words, I couldn''t stop the pain in my chest or the tears falling from my eyes. I wanted to help her desperately.


    "P..pl..please. I don''t want you...to get infected...because of me."


    "Why?" I asked, tears flowing from my eyes.


    "Because it would make the work I..I''ve done to help others me...meaningless."


    "No. Why sacrifice yourself to help others? You may have been able to survive this plague if you focused on yourself first."


    At my words she smiled weakly and shook her head.


    "I...wanted my last...days on this...e..earth...to be spent helping others."


    Looking at her smiling face, whichlooked almost ghastly because of the plague, I noticed tears well up in her eyes and fall down her cheeks.


    At first I thought that she was not afraid of death and was doing what she did for some selfish reason I couldn''t think of, but in that moment I understood.


    She was just as horrified of dying as anyone else, but despite her fear of death she resolved herself and decided to spend her time helping others rather than letting that fear paralyze her as she slowly rotted away in agonizing pain.


    I used my thumb and wiped away her tears from her face. Even though she looked like a living corpse, I thought she was the most gorgeous woman I had ever met.


    "I..I''m scared..." she whispered to me in a weak voice. She didn''t have much longer.


    "Don''t worry," I cried, "I''ll help you. I swear I will. I won''t let you die..."


    I got up and carried her in my arms as I ran around aimlessly in hopes of finding a magical cure that would never appear.


    "S...smile...please. One...one last...time...be...fore...I...go....." she exhaled.


    "What? No. No no no no no."


    I stopped and tried shaking her awake. I listened for her breathing, for her heartbeat, for anything that would tell me that she was still alive and that the first promise I ever made would not be broken.


    But it was too late.


    "No..." I whispered as tear began to flow even more than before.


    I felt a deep despairing sorrow like never before as I laid there cradling her dead body in my arms, wailing for her to return to me.


    The first curse of immortality is the lack of meaning in life and the second curse, which I had learned in the most painful way possible, was that I could never grow old and die with the one I loved. I would forever be doomed to watch then slowly wither way and die.


    I never wished for death with the same desperation I had at that moment. I longed to spend more time with her. The woman who had capured my heart without even knowing.


    I hadn''t even learned her name.


    Crying into her body I remembered the promise I had made her.


    "I won''t let you die..."


    Although I couldn''t help her now, I would make sure to help others in her memory.


    I dried the tears from my eyes and smile, just as she did in her final moments.


    "I didn''t know you for long. In fact I didn''t even get the chance to learn of your name, but I think... No. I know that you would want me to help others, just as you had."


    Wearing a sad smile as I held back tears I laid her still smiling corpse down and crossed her arms. I looked around and noticed a single small flower growing through the cracks in the street. I picked it and walked back to her and placed the flower in her hands.


    As I stood back up and bowed my head to her I could no longer hold back the tears and began crying, but just as she had asked with her last breath.


    After a couple of minutes I finally stopped the tears, but I couldn''t stop the pain in my heart. Regardless of that I resolved myself, just as she had, and set out to help as many people as I could.


    For you my nameless love...

 Chapter 2: Before the Journey

    After I had gone and tried to help people affected by the plague, yet they continued to die regardless of my efforts. I realized then that I lacked the knowledge to help them.


    However, I did not feel the need to help them. If it weren''t for my unwillingness to break my promise with the nameless woman who had stolen my heart and gave life to my eyes, then I would have continued on as I always had. After all, I had never felt anypity for a human until I met her.


    So I decided to travel in search of medical knowledge. During my time helping the afflicted I heard some rumors that there were some medicines that could cure the plague in the east.


    Fortunately, during my time helping the afflicted I heard some rumors that there were some medicines that could cure the plague in the east. It seemed unlikely that such medicines would exist, but I decided that I may as well go as I had an eternity to acquireknowledge.


    I nodded to myself while smiling as I set a new destination. I had a purpose.


    Looking back I realize now that I may have had a larger fondness of humanity than I first anticipated. And it was because of that fondness that I did not travel alone.


    As I began to leave the city, which was just beginning to recover from the damage caused by the plague, I was stopped by I small boy.


    The boy looked no more than 5 years old and was dirty and malnourished. I wonderedfor amoment what kind of parents would have a child in such terrible times.Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.


    "Help...sis...please."


    I looked at him. He had the same eyes as that woman. His sister''s safety took precedence over his own, even though he looked like he needed help the most right then. I could only imagine what kind of terrible state his sister must be in for him to go out in search of help, but whatever state she was in I knew she would be in need of my help. Whatlittle help I could provide.


    So I nod my head and told him to led the way.


    I followed him through the streets and alleyways, he must have come a long way from where his sister was, until we reached the alley where his sister lay against the wall unconscious.


    My jaw dropped at the site of her. She was older than him by a couple years at least and was so malnourished that she looked almost like a skeleton with flesh. She must have given almost every scrap of food she got, as little as it most likely was, to her little brother.


    While I stood there dazed by the state she was in her little brother tugged at my ragged clothes to move me closer.


    Moving towards her I was unsure if she was even alive, but as I inched closer I saw her chest rise and fall ever so slightly.


    I knelt down beside her to inspect her condition more carefully. Fortunately for her, she didn''t seem to have contracted the plague, so she was only severelymalnourished and dehydrated but that didn''t change the fact that she was still outside death''s door.


    So I did what I could to help her.


    I bite into my wrist and feed her my blood.


    She was in need of two basicrequirements for survival, food and water, however, I carried neither on me as I didn''t need it to live. But that didn''t mean I couldn''t give those to her, after all, humans can derive the necessary nutrients and water from animal blood, so what was to say that they couldn''t also get also get it from my blood as well.


    Yet my wound closed up very shortly after I had bit into it, only allowing her to drink a mouthful at most. So I bit it again and again and again. I continued to feed her my blood for a long while. Sometimes she looked like she was going to die at any moment, but Itook care of her, and her younger brother, until she finally came to nearly a week later.

 Chapter 3: Companians

    I squatted in front of her as her eyes slowly opened again. She looked around for a moment, completely unaware of my presence, until her eyes landed on me, causing her to immediately back away from me.


    I frowned but considering that my current look, consisting of my tattered clothing, dirt covered skin and unshaven face made me look a little bit unfriendly, was the cause of her reaction towards me.


    As her brother came to greet her with a joyful expression her hugged him and cradled him in a protective position, all the while watching my movements with a fearful and angered look. She was certainly not happy to see me.


    Not that it mattered to me. I didn''t help her to receivegratitude, but out of my own willingness and capability to help her. I looked back at her for a while longer as her brother was trying to explain everything that has happened since she fell unconscious. I nodded my satisfaction at her recovery and stood up preparing to head to the east to resume my search for knowledge.


    "Wait.... Pwese."


    I stopped for a moment and looked back at the younger brother who had called out for me.


    "Don''t go"


    I raised an eyebrow at his request while his sister cupped his face and whispered to him, still continuously glancing back at me.


    "No, sis. He''s not a bad man. He helped us."


    The brother tried to appeal to his sister but to no avail. She was much too wary of me to listento her brother.


    When my eyes met her, I knew.So I closed my eyes and began to leave.


    The younger brother pleaded for me to not go, but I continued to walk away. After just a brief look in her cold eyes, I saw that she would not accept me the same way her brother had and would do what she must to protect her and her brother from me. So I took my leave even as I heard him beg me not to leave him and his sister.


    It was when I was a little ways away that I heard the tiny footsteps of the little boy chase after me that I turned around in time for him to run into me crying.The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    "Pwese. Don''t leave," he cried into me.


    Surprised, I didn''t know what to say. During my time aiding him and his sisterback to health, I had tried to treat them with kindness, but as I was not well versed in how to act a certain way, I mimicked how She, my first love, acted when she was treating others. However, I did not know that my behavior would provoke such a response from him. That was whenI heard his sister call out to him so I looked up from him and saw his sister running towards us only to stop with a surprised look on her face, much like my own.


    She looked back and forth from me to her brother, trying to decide on what to do next when her brother thought this highly of someone she didn''t trust until eventually, she yield and came towards me and said in a quiet voice.


    "Please listen to my brother''s request."


    I simply stood there dumbfounded, unsure what to do or how to react. Then I realized that I could not heed their request, after all, I needed to travel east and could not stay with them.I grabbed the young boy by the shoulders and kneeled down to look at him and shook my head.


    "I''m sorry, but I need to travel east. I cannot stay with you."


    He simply stood there with new tears falling from his already red eyes. His sister looked at him with a pained expression on her face and looked at me just as I was standing up.


    "Th...then take us with you..." she said.


    "Are you sure? Wouldn''t your mother or father worry?"


    As soon as I mentioned that her face darkened and she said.


    "We don''t have any."


    I looked at her with a puzzled look.


    If she doesn''t have a caretaker, then how has she been getting food for the both of ...


    That''s when I realized why she was so lenient when it came to her brother''s opinion despite her own and how they had acquired food. It was because of her. She took on the role of a parent for her brother and because they only had each other she wanted to give her brother a happy life in spite of their current situation. She was the one who gave up her happiness and was forced to grow up for her brother.


    I looked at them a while longer as I contemplated whether or not bringing them along would be the correct choice in such a situation. I went back and forth within my mind, getting no headway on the dilemma until I grew tired of it and just went with what I felt was the right choice.


    "Very well."


    I turned and began to walk off but I didn''t hear their footsteps behind me, so I turned around to look at them and was met with their comically confused expressions and smiled.


    "Well? Are you coming?"


    "Huh...ah... Yeah, yes. We''re coming."


    Watching them both come towards me I couldn''t help but feel happy that there were people who depended on me, but I also felt a sense of discomfort. I worried over whether or not my choice was the correct one.


    And even now, I still do not know.

 Chapter 4: Regret

    Immediately after the two siblings had begun to follow me on my search for medical knowledge, I felt a strange piercingfeeling and as I looked around in search of the source of that feeling, I saw that the surrounding people would immediately look away. I didn''t understand why, so I just stopped my search for the source of the feeling and just stared at a middle-aged man, although he looked to be decades beyond his true age. The man was aware of my gaze but vehemently refused to meet it, as if in fear. That was when I felt the piercing feeling return, more intense than before. Even the two siblings felt it as they crowded closer to me.


    I looked around in search of the feeling and this time I found it.


    As I looked around I noticed that everyone was staring at me, at us, with fear and another complex emotion I had not experienced yet. I knew we were not wanted nor welcome, so not wanting to cause any more trouble or draw any more attention, I told the siblings that we should leave and proceeded to walk off, all the while we felt the penetrating gaze coming from all around as we left the city, never to return.


    After we had departed from the city, I noticed that the siblings had continued to cling to me. I wasn''t sure if they had just forgotten that they were doing that because they had gotten used to it aswetraveled quite a long time like that. Or was it because of another reason that I wasn''t aware of. Either way, I was curious and decided that just speculating was pointless.


    "Say..." I began, but then I realized an important pieceof human culture that I didn''t know about them. I had no clue what their names were. Thus, as I was about to ask them their names, the younger brother looked up to me and declared.


    "I''m hungry and my feet hurt."


    "Huh," I replied idioticallyas my train of thought had been derailed.


    "Food. We should eat something and rest," said the sister.


    Ah. That''s right, Humans require food.


    I thought to myself as I remembered how I hadbeen feeding them.


    "Okay, just give me a moment," I replied as I bit into my wrist.


    "W..what the hell are you doing?!" The sister asked as she backed away from me.


    "Providing sustenance."


    She looked at me with a disgustedlook as she asked, "What?"


    "Food," I replied, correcting myself.


    The bite in my wrist had already regenerated itself so I bit into it again and gave my wrist to the younger brother who happily took it and began drinking.The sister was appalledby the sight and quickly pulled her brother away from me. She had a look of horror and disgust as she looked at me. Looking back her expression somewhat reminded me of the expression of the other people in the city.


    I was somewhat confused as to why she was acting that way since she had already been drinking my blood for a week and nothing bad had happened. In fact, they had recuperated because of it which proved that my blood was not toxic or inedible for consumption. So I didn''t understand why she had turned down the ''food'' she was looking for.


    "What''s wrong, " I asked, "My blood isn''t toxic. You''ve been drinking it for the past week without any problems so it''s safe to drink, so what''s wr-"


    "WHAT?!" she immediately exclaimed.


    I looked at her questioningly.The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.


    I was sure that my speech was clear and easy to understand, so what did she not know...? Anyway, I will just say it again.


    "I said,?-"


    "You sick bastard! Why would you feed humans to other humans!"


    As the wind blew around us I started to understand what it was that she didn''t like about my actions. Apparently she humans frowned upon the consumption of the human animal. Despite the fact that they themselves would eat nearly any and everything.


    For someone like myself who had never eaten anything before, this idea perplexed me. Yet, I said nothing about it as I believed asking such a question as ''why'' would cause her already bad view of me to worsen. Then again, I had nothing else to give them and the thought of killing a living thing, in order to feed them, didn''t sit well with me.


    So I decided that, since she didn''t approve of consumption of human, I would just have to tell her that I wasn''t one.


    "Never have I feed a human to you. I only gave you my own blood to drink."


    "Exactly! You are a human!"


    "No, I am not."


    "Eh?"


    We stood in silence for a moment as she tried to process what I just said. That was when I realized that humans aren''t used to the idea I had just said.


    "What I mean is, I can not qualify as a human."


    "Haha. Nonsense! Of course, you''re human... right?"


    "No. Unlike you, I can not die."


    She looked at me as if I were crazy, which, for all she knew, I was. She slowly placed her brother behind her as she stared me down. The sight of which reminded me of an animal protecting their young from a pack of wild animals.


    Seeing this I decided that my words would not be enough to convince her and inside I would just have to show her.


    I straightened my hand and looked at her.


    "You don''t seem to want to believe me so I''ll just have to show you. You may want to cover your brother''s eyes."


    Still, on guard, she hesitated but eventually complied and covered his eyes. I took that as my cue and quickly thrust my hand into my should using my abnormal strength. Although I could regenerate it, it still hurt. Then, before it could heal, I grabbed the inside and tore my arm away from my body.


    Immediately a new arm began to regenerate in its place and after a few moments, I stood there with my new arm as if nothing had happened. The only proof being the blood around the ripped part of my shirt.


    Looking down at the old arm I had just torn off, I saw it begin to disappear as it always had in the past.


    That should be enough proof.


    I thought to myself as I looked up to see the sister only to find her fainted on the ground with pale skin.


    "Ah... I guess I went too far?"


    I walked closer, believing that my stunt had caused her too much shock and knocked her out. After all, that seemed like the most likely cause of her state.


    However, something was amiss about the situation. She was rapidly losing color and looked as if she was losing weight too. I looked up from her and noticed that her brother was also in a similar situation.


    I instantly discerned what was causing their unnatural problem.


    It was my blood.


    I knew this with absolute certainty due to three reasons. The first was that this could not have been a regular occurrence for them as this was clearly life-threatening and their previous situation wasn''t equipped to deal with such a situation. Leading to the second reasoning. If it wasn''t something that happened before then it was new and some newly introduced variable had been the cause of their sudden change in state at the same time. My blood was the only newly introduced variable that couldhave affected both of them at the same time.


    Leading to the second reasoning. If it wasn''t something that happened before then it was new and some newly introduced variable had been the cause of their sudden change in state at the same time. My blood was the only newly introduced variable that couldhave affected both of them at the same time.


    However, the most defining clue that had caused me to draw my conclusion was that I had seen that happen before, and just recently too. Their current state resembled that of my severed arm.


    Their current state resembled that of my severed arm.


    Feeling the graveness of the situation, I rushed to their side and in a panic and bit into my wrists. Quickly feeding them my blood.


    Instantly, I noticed their color and weight begin to return and I breathed a sigh of relief.


    Shit! I was too naive. Of course, not all symptoms would reveal themselves so soon.


    I sat there,ruefully holding my head in my hands, I looked over towards the children lying on the ground. They were sleeping peacefully as if nothing bad had happened to them. Seeing this, I exhaled a breath I didn''t know I was holding. I also felt like I wanted to help them. Like I wanted them to be able to rely on me and trust me, but with what happened earlier I was unsure whether even the younger brother would trust me.


    I wanted to leave. Just go and not have to face the result of my actions. But I didn''t. For if I did, they would surely die as a direct result of my actions.


    I had doomed them to a life of sorrow, a fact of which I was fully aware of and regretted, but I didn''t know just how miserable their life would turn to be.


    All because of me.