《Boredom of a Goddess》


 1: A New Beginning

    The messenger bursts into the room, clearly out of breath. I scrutinize him idly, fingers poised to blow him into a million pieces with a single thought. He is a Lesser Angel, which meant he had been created and sent by Lumenia. And if she uses an envoy, she''s got bad news to break.


    "Humanity has gone extinct."


    <hr>


    I suppose I should introduce who I am.


    I''m Dementia, the goddess of Chaos. I was known by many names in the past- Talli Rua, The Dark Assassin, and many more- but now, I''m Dementia.


    I woke up in a forest, started killing things, and eventually ended up meeting my creator, the former god of Chaos. I killed him, then ate his soul, which resulted in me becoming the new goddess of Chaos.


    Did I mention that the former god of Chaos was also my father?


    He abducted some poor mortal woman, tortured her to insanity, then impregnated her. And then he imbued the fetus inside her with the sin of Gluttony, one of the Seven Deadly Sins.


    That fetus was me.


    His reasoning for doing such things was that he wanted more chaos- and the fact that he was going to absorb me back into him when I came back- but I doubt he expected me to kill him.


    After I devoured his soul- courtesy of Gluttony- all of his power went to me, which meant that I got to live in his giant obelisk-slash-palace in the middle of the City of Gods, with hundreds of thousands of monsters to care for my every whim.


    What''s the City of Gods? Well, it''s not really a city- it''s a whole different dimension, where gods live. It''s also where the gods show off their powers the most.Some built gigantic palaces (as Praeliora, goddess of War, did) or curated libraries housing billions of obscure texts (as was the case for Cognitus, being of Wisdom).


    When my father woke from his slumber, he marched into the center of the City of Gods- yes, a dimension can have a center, and only the most important gods live near the center- and raised the obelisk. The other gods tried to stop him, but only managed to get a stalemate.


    This was because of the Balance of Power.


    For some stupid reason, the powers of the ''good'' and ''evil'' gods are supposed to cancel each other out. However, because there''s only one ''evil'' god, all the power that was supposed to be spread amongst multiple gods went to my dear father, and consequently, me.


    I''m not complaining, though. It''s the only thing stopping the other gods from simply casting me into the Eternal Abyss, a dimension exclusively used for housing prisoners the gods deem evil. Of course, there''s nobody in it, yet. But I can tell, whenever another god looks at me. I can see it in their eyes. That cold, condemning look.


    It was hard enough to get them to acknowledge me as a replacement for my father in the first place, not when they consider what I did cannibalism and patricide. Lumenia herself, goddess of light, led the vote to cast me out of the Council of Gods, and the vote was divided neatly down the middle. To my surprise, the last voter, Cognitus, voted in favor of me remaining on the council, so I got to stay.


    Cognitus happens to be the god I get along with the best. On first glance, he might not seem like much. In fact, if you can see him at all, it means he''s taken on a physical form just to converse with you, and that''s a great honor. To put it simply, Cognitus is the sum of every idea that has ever been, and since ideas are invisible, he is, too. But knowing how humans prefer to talk to things they can see, and also knowing that such habits rubbed off on me during my time as a mortal, he appears to me in the form of a floating, lumenescent crystal. As a being of knowledge, he has no morals, no bias, no gender- in fact, I should call him an it. But whenever I talk to him, I can''t help but get the feeling that his ''voice''- although he doesn''t have one, we converse through telepathy- is rather masculine.


    Lumenia, of course, is my most bitter enemy. She might be the benevolent, kind goddess of Light on the exterior, but any of her followers would die of shock if they got to see inside her mind. She''s constantly thinking of ways to discredit me, to make sure I am punished for simply existing. Again, I thank my powers for the fact that she can''t do anything to me unless she''s backed by all the other gods.


    Other than those two, there are a slew of other gods, all reigning over some function- Praeliora over War, Vitalis over Life, Mortem over Death, and so on.


    Rather surprisingly, Vitalis and Mortem are very good friends, perhaps because they understand the need for balance the most. This is also the reason they stay neutral to any decision made by the Council, and although they have seats on it, they never attend any meetings.


    Mortem isn''t considered an evil god, as I discovered to my chagrin when I asked him about it a few days after I became the new goddess of Chaos. My conversation with him went somewhat like this:


    "Hey, Mortem."


    "Hmm?"


    "Are you an evil god?"


    "What? No!"


    "Why not?"


    "Death, although some consider it ''evil'', is a natural fact of life. In a way, my domain is part of Vitalis''s- the same way her domain is part of mine."


    "Oh."


    "Unlike your domain, Chaos, which serves to do nothing but cause trouble."


    "Jeez, I get it. Stop."


    As you can probably imagine from the provided transcript, calling him an evil god did notsit very well with him.


    <hr>


    I snap my mind back to the situation at hand, and glare at the cowering Angel in front of me. It- well, he- has a good reason to fear me. When I''m mad, I enjoy the therapeutic effects of murdering whatever happens to be in front of me at the time and bathing in its blood. Of course, after the first time, I never forget to shield my clothes from the blood.


    I hear amused chuckling from my left, and I turn my head to glance at Lust, my chief of staff and head maid. Lust is technically my sister, in a way. When she came back from sowing death and destruction, my father, the lecherous fool he was, decided to keep her alive instead of absorbing her due to her incredibly good looks. After I replaced him, she was more than happy to continue working for me, mostly due to the fact that I didn''t try to grope her every few seconds. That, and the fact that I had a soft spot for her, since she was also imbued with one of the Seven Deadly Sins.


    As the head maid, she had been absolutely livid when she found me soaked in blood- or rather, my ceremonial robes soaked in blood. She had shouted at me about how I should treat my clothing better for three hours, then tied me up and left me squirming on my bed for three days. It was a good thing gods don''t need to eat or take a leak. After that, I had requested a sparring session with her- of course, without my newfound godly powers, since that would be slightly unbalanced- and I had been thrown around like a pebble in a tornado. Being another embodiment of sin, I should have anticipated her incredible strength- but I didn''t. That is also when I learned to never let my guard down, although I really should have learned that after I killed my father, since the only reason I got close enough to kill him was because he became complacent, overconfident in his immortality.


    Today she''s wearing the guise of a tall, busty redhead, with a maid uniform cut in a way that exposes the maximum amount of bare skin yet isstill modest enough to pass for public wear. The Angel''s eyes dart to her, and he gulps, knowing that to stand at my side, one must have an immense amount of power- enough to make the Angel look like an insignificant insect.


    "Ahem."


    I clear my throat, focusing the Angel''s attention back on me.


    "So, how did they wipe themselves out? It hasn''t been too long since I ascended, and back then the world was fine."


    "Well, er, your godliness, with all due respect, it''s been two thousand years since you reached godhood."


    I jump from my seat in surprise. I''m pretty sure that it''s only been, what, ten years? And yet, this Angel is telling me otherwise.


    "Nonsense! Surely it hasn''t been that long."


    "Erm, if I may explain, time progresses differently in the City of Gods. While in here only ten years may have passed, in the realm of the mortals much more time has gone by."


    I sit back down, contemplating his- its- whatever- words. That makes sense, in a way. It explains why gods are normally very distant- they simply don''t realize anything''s going on in the mortal realm. I should have dropped in to check on them more often.


    "Well? Is that all?"


    "N-not exactly, my lord. The Council of Gods has requested your attendance in a meeting to decide how to repopulate Earth."


    "I see. Well, tell Lumenia I''ll be there in half an hour. Now, leave."


    The Angel wastes no time in sprinting out the doors of the obelisk, and disappears, leaving behind glowing white feathers.


    Lust turns to me, one eyebrow raised.


    "Why would you need half an hour? You''re already wearing your robes, and with your teleportation powers it should be simple to get there in no time at all."


    "I''ve got a few things to take care of first. Don''t worry about it."


    I run into my bedchamber, and after making sure there isn''t anyone trying to look in on me, I open an ornate wooden chest. Immediately, I am transported into another dimension, one filled with junk.


    I found this dimension while trying to learn more about my godly powers. After ascertaining that the dimension was uninhabited, I threw all my things in it, and created a gateway to it inside a wooden chest in my room. Inside this dimension are all the magical knickknacks my father owned, with my only addition being the equipment I used as a mortal. This equipment includes the Shard of Eternity.


    What is the Shard of Eternity? It''s a fragment from back when the Lightless Star exploded into gods, one tiny fragment, too small to have enough power to be a god, struck the Earth. By small, I mean small- it''s small enough to fit in my hand. Conveniently, it has a very sharp point, and it''s what I used to kill my father. Despite never being able to reach godhood, it was still able to kill him, as a god is the only thing that can kill another god.This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.


    Oh, you want to know what the Lightless Star is? So, basically, in the very beginning, before anything existed, the Lightless Star existed. One day, it exploded, making all of the major gods and also creating the Earth, its sun and moon. But after that, there was a mass of darkness left behind, that slumbered for eons before waking up and causing a ruckus in the City of Gods. You guessed it, that was my father.


    I run through the piles of junk, throwing things out of my way, until I see a blue glow. The object emnating the glow is a diamond-shaped gem, filled with what looks like tiny sparks. I reach out and grab it, then put it in one of the many pockets on my robes. Recreating an entire species is no easy task, and just in case Vitalis deems it impossible with the power we have on hand I want to bring along some backup.


    Finding the way out is harder than finding the Shard, as this dimension is impossible to navigate, what with it being so cluttered. I doubt even with a map one would be able to find their way out without a good amount of trial and error. Even if I''d memorized what the piles of junk looked like, the fact that I knocked so many of them over would render it useless.


    After roughly half an hour, I emerge from the chest, and carefully close it. I then rush out of my room, through the hallways, past the guardsmen, who salute me with their halberds as I run by, through the entrance hall, and out the gates. As soon as I clear the threshold, I teleport myself in front of the building the Council uses for meetings.


    When I arrive, I land on someone and we both go down in an untidy heap. I blink multiple times, realizing the person I''ve landed on is decidedly female (or has a female appearance at the moment). I know this, because my head is pressed against their formidable breasts. Combine that with the rather revealing red-and-gold armor she''s wearing, and there''s no doubt who she is.


    Praeliora, goddess of War.


    I jump to my feet, and leap backwards, just in time to dodge a truly ferocious punch. Even as I watch, the shockwave from the punch travels until it hits a giant statue of Praeliora, leaving many large cracks.


    "You- you perverted beast! How dare you try to sully a pure maiden like myself!"


    Praeliora, face red with anger, lunges at me, trying to pummel every part of me within reach. I continue dodging, while apologizing in rapid-fire gasps.


    "I''m- sorry for- accidentally- touching your breasts! I swear- it wasn''t on purpose- and you know Lust isn''t part of me- so I don''t have- any such desires!"


    It''s true. Because Lust isn''t a part of me, I have never felt any carnal desires during my ten years as a goddess. During the more boring periods, I considered using my absolute command over monsters to force them to fuck me, but it was a mere whim, and I never acted on it. Of course, there''s no way a meathead like Praeliora will accept that as an excuse.


    Sadly enough, she''s one of the more intelligent gods. Unlike most gods, who are simply airheads, she possesses some common sense. The only other gods that aren''t dumbasses are Vitalis, Mortem, and Cognitus.


    But seriously, most of the gods are fucking idiots.


    Praeliora continues swinging at me, blatantly ignoring the property damage she''s causing. That is, until Vitalis and Mortem show up. She immediately stops, and greets the duo, though I can still feel her eyes boring a hole in my back.


    It''s blatant favoritism, that''s what it is. If I''d gone mad and started smashing things left and right, I bet you my domain that they''d put me up on trial again. But no, when darling Praeliora does it, it''s completely fucking fine. Having to deal with other beings is tiring at best, and utterly infuriating at worst. This is why I enjoy Cognitus''s company so much.


    The inside of the Council building is a large room, with a round table in the middle. I say large, but you probably won''t be able to grasp the concept with your feeble mortal mind- when a god considers something large, it''s usually bigger than your entire measly planet.


    To be quite honest, this building''s a huge waste of space, even if the City of Gods has an infinite amount of it. The only features it has is the round table in the middle, and the chairs around it, so what do they do with the rest of the space? Why, it''s for the escorts some of the gods invariably bring, of course! Take Lumenia, for instance. The stupid bitch insists on taking a small armyof Angels wherever she goes, and an army, however small, takes up a shitload of space.


    Most of the Council members are already seated, making me, Praeliora, Vitalis and Mortem the last ones to arrive. My seat is to the opposite of everyone else''s, and everyone except Cognitus always makes an effort to sit as far away from me as they can.


    At the table are Helios and Lune (two well-muscled men representing the sun and the moon you could almost mistake for twins, if not for their contrasting hair color), Cognitus (wearing the form of a multicolored, floating crystal), Tenebra (goddess of the dark, which isn''t part of my domain since it mainly consists of nighttime), Alitura (represents nature and motherhood, patron goddess of elves, and the one I call ''titty monster''), Petro (literally a living slab of rock, cares for earth- not the planet, but actual dirt- also prefers to be called with masculine pronouns for some reason. The patron god of dwarves), Mare (mermaid with seaweed for hair. I don''t need to mention what she rules over), Cael (half-naked guy wearing a toga that likes riding clouds. His domain is air, which is why I sometimes imagine him controlling all that air between the other gods'' ears), Flamma (a silhouette of a busty woman made from flame), Geno (old dude who I''m told has a giant cock. God of fertility and fatherhood), and Ebrius (a perpetually drunk sleaze who''s supposed to preside over parties and general revelry).


    As I take my seat, the doors burst open once again, and Lumenia enters, leading her entourage. I put my hand to my face, realizing that I simply dismissed her- or rather, the lack of her- when I looked at the other gods. While an army sounds like it would be incredibly conspicuous, since I see it so often it''s just turned into background decoration to me.


    Lumenia sits down, and Vitalis clears her throat.


    "Ahem. I assume you all know why we are here?"


    Everyone nods. Even if they didn''t receive a message, they would have noticed from their sudden lack of overwhelming power. The power of a god is based off their followers'' devotion, and the less followers they have, the less power they get. This is another reason my power is so much greater than any other individual god- technically, all living beings are my followers. Each time a sin is committed, I get a teensy little bit of power. As it is, though, due to the lack of actual shrines to me, I''m considered the goddess with the least followers.


    "Just in case there''s someone here who didn''t receive the full memo, I''ll explain anyway. Humans, our most devoted followers and the source of most of our power, have gone and wiped themselves out. Not only that, they have left the entire Earth barren from their use of destructive weaponry. The same goes for other humanoid races, whether it be elves, dwarves, or the fae."


    Huh? I didn''t know that the entire Earth had been ravaged in such a way. It must have been a huge shock for Alitura.


    Cael lets out a derisive snort.


    "As if the fae matter to us. They don''t believe in gods in the first place, so why do we even bother?"


    "And yet, they are still living beings, and under my jurisdiction. Any complaints about that?"


    Cael shifts around in his seat uncomfortably as everyone''s stares focus on him, and stays silent.


    "Good. Now, I believe I can leave restoring nature to Alitura, Flamma, Mare, Cael and Petro. However, there is a complication."


    She pauses, her lips pursed together tightly.


    "Creating life is an incredibly exhausting process, in both a physical and magical way. The fact that I don''t have a reference point to go off of is another problem, but one that can be easily solved through using more power.


    "This is why I would like to ask you all to lend me your power. All of it."


    A series of gasps ripple through the seated gods. Her request is by no means a trivial one- even if the other gods are weak compared to me, they possess considerable power. I lean back, my arms crossed, expecting to be passed over since surely Vitalis is worried about my chaos and corruption leaking into the power I supply. As if reading my mind, she looks directly at me.


    "Yes, you too, Dementia. Humans are by nature rather chaotic beings, and we need your power for this."


    I sigh, and nod my head imperceptibly in assent. She claps her hand together, and motions for all of us to get up.


    "Good! Now, please, take turns sending your power into the air in front of me."


    All of us line up in front of her, and drain our power. The visual representation of power is strangely beautiful- like a multicolored spider''s web.


    When my turn arrives, I hesitate before I start.


    "You sure you want all of my power? Not just the same amount everyone else supplied?"


    "Yes, I''m very sure."


    My power, made of black, glistening strands, goes to join the others in front of Vitalis. She begins moving her hands and fingers in complex patterns, almost as if she''s knitting using the supplied power. I go back to my seat, and watch her work. Soon, I feel my eyes begin to droop, and I look around to see that the other gods have slumped over as well. I close my eyes, and sleep.


    Technically, a god has no need for sleep. But a god also has no need for technicalities.


    When I sleep, I dream. Back when I was a mortal, I used to have grandiose dreams of devouring the world whole. Now, I dream of memories. My father''s, specifically. This one involves my mother.


    <hr>


    Mother shrieks as she thrashes against the chains binding her to the stone wall. In front of her is Father, lovingly carving chunks of flesh from her right arm with a curved, serrated knife. Mother''s screams grow louder when Father cuts through muscle and into bone.


    ''Oops! You shouldn''t flail around so much, dearest Alisha. You could get seriously hurt.''


    He chuckles, and goes back to what he was doing previously. With meticulous care, he strips her arm of every bit of outer flesh, leaving nothing but torn muscles and ligaments beneath. He pokes at her arm, and her voice gets louder still. And then, her own shadow coils up around her ankles, and makes its way up to her arm. Even as I watch, her skin, which abruptly ends at her shoulder, begins crawling out towards her hands. In seconds, her arm is completely healed, and Mother''s screams subside into small sobs.


    Father puts the knife on a tray full of tools to his left. He then picks up what looks to be an ordinary fireplace poker, and with a single thought, its entire length begins glowing cherry-red, an indication of its heat. Mother begins moaning for him to stop, but of course, he doesn''t listen. He eyes her for a minute, then suddenly plunges the poker into her stomach.


    <hr>


    I jerk awake, and fall backwards, tipping my chair with me. I land in a heap on the cold marble floor, and I realize the reason for my abrupt awakening is Cognitus- he came up to me and nudged my thoughts.


    "Vitalis should be done any time now."


    I stand up, and see that the individual strands of power in front of Vitalis have coalesced into a ball. But she''s obviously having trouble, and every time she tries to force the strands to stay together, they fly apart. She stops to wipe the sweat off her forehead. I call out to her, and she turns to look at me. She''s frowning, although I don''t know if it''s because of my question or something else.


    "What''s the problem?"


    "For some reason, I just can''t get this to work. I don''t understand. This is the exact same procedure I used when I first put humans on the planet! There shouldn''t be any reason this won''t-"


    She gasps, and puts her hands to her mouth.


    "I-I''ve just realized what we''re missing.


    "I need the essence of a god to complete this."


    The essence of a god is different from their soul, but here, it doesn''t really matter, since to gain either of them means the death of a god. Already, the other gods are backing away from her, shaking their heads, except for Ebrius, who''s still snoring away in his seat, skin of wine in one hand.


    This is why you always have a backup plan.


    "Will this work as a substitute?"


    I draw out the Shard, and hold it aloft. Vitalis gasps, Mortem recoils, and Cognitus suddenly turns red, but other than that I don''t get much of a reaction. That much is to be expected, considering all the other gods only care about their own domains.


    "Is-is that-"


    "The Shard of Eternity? Yes, ma''am, it is. So, is it going to work?"


    Lumenia cuts in, with a confused look on her face.


    "What''s a Shard of Eternity, and why is it such a big deal?"


    Cognitus, ever the scholar, gives the rest of the room an impromptu history lesson. By the end, all of their eyes are wide in shock, and I''m pretty sure Flamma''s jaw hit the floor. Lumenia''s face is scrunched up, more in anger than anything.


    "Well, so that''s all nice, but why does she have it?"


    I smile at her. It''s not a nice smile. In fact, it''s the creepiest one in my arsenal, and as the goddess of Chaos, my arsenal is pretty impressive.


    "If you actually bothered to give a shit about the affairs of mortals for once, maybe you''d have found it. Finders, keepers."


    Her face looks like it''s about to start emitting steam, so I turn to Vitalis and hand over the crystal. Immediately, she breaks it down into the same threads of power we gave her, except there''s something different about them. This time, when she forces the threads into a ball, it stays together, and it starts shrinking, until it''s completely gone. Vitalis stumbles and falls on her back in exhaustion, and whispers something that manages to echo throughout the entire hall, despite it being barely more than a wisp of air.


    "It is done."


    At that moment, Ebrius chooses to wake up. He blinks blearily, and stands up, his footing unsteady.


    "Is it already time for the meeting? Uh, what was it about, again?"

 2: Spaghetti, the Universe, and the Bet

    The purpose of the meeting fulfilled, the gods begin to file out of the building, leaving poor Ebrius in the lurch. Last I saw, he was still asking people what happened during the meeting.


    I motion to Cognitus, and he floats over to my side.


    "Hey, Cognitus. Ever since I became a goddess, I''ve been wondering- why isn''t there a deity for love?"


    Cognitus does something I''ve never seen him do before. He hesitates.


    "While I don''t know for sure, if I had to take a guess I would say that it''s because love is not something that can be so easily manufactured. Lust, infatuation, and such emotions are very different from love. Not only that, but love is a purely mortal concept- when one knows their target of affection has a limited lifespan, I believe it induces them to care for them more than if they knew they would never die."


    "Huh, I see."


    Then a disturbing thought comes to me.


    "But wait, lots of gods get together and have kids, right? Well, then, does that mean they never actually feel any love, just lust?"


    Gods, in general, are very liberal with sex. If one of them feels horny, and they request sex from a second god, who agrees, they fuck, and go about their lives as usual. This is why there are so many minor gods in the City of Gods, ruling over a small domain, lesser than a fraction of their parents''.


    "Correct."


    I groan, and slap my head.


    "No wonder Lust is so powerful! If even deities experience such sin, how much power does she get every time? I''ll have to ask her about it."


    During our discussion, my footsteps have been carrying me to a restaurant.


    Gods may not feel hunger, but they still like to taste real food once in a while. And when there are gods and goddesses who rule over specific foods, you can be sure that the quality here in the City is better than anywhere else.


    This particular restaurant specialized in spaghetti. Mona, the owner, had simply popped into existence one day when mortals began to like spaghetti so much they started worshipping it.


    Because I don''t want to waste Cognitus''s time, I bid him adieu in front of the doors.


    As I walk in, bells above the doorframe chime to announce my presence.


    Mona is a very kindly goddess. In general, deities related to food are very nice, and the only thing they ever do is feed other deities. Mona herself is a short, squat, matronly woman whose chef hat is so omnipresent it almost seems like a part of her.


    "Welcome, welcome. Ah, it''s you, Dementia! What''ll you be having today?"


    I like Mona. True, she had been rather reserved the first time I had lunch at her place, but her opinion of me increased considerably when she saw how much I enjoyed her food. I made sure I visited at least once a week, and every time her cooking was top-notch.


    "Hmm, how about a simple seafood rose this time?"


    "Coming right up!"


    She disappears into a side door that leads to the kitchen, and in moments reappears balancing a huge platter of spaghetti on one hand.


    As a deity of food, she could simply create first-class chefs whenever she wants, much like how I can create monsters out of thin air, but she seems to enjoy the act of cooking and always cooks every dish herself. The only creations she employs are waiters and waitresses to serve the tables, since her restaurant is always packed with hungry gods.


    She weaves through the forest of tables and puts her cargo down in front of me. I immediately dig in, and give her a thumbs-up, my cheeks bulging with spaghetti.


    It''s nice that I don''t have to pay. Because ingredients are quite literally infinite, and the deities cook for their own amusement, customers aren''t required to pay for food, although some insist in paying in favors.


    Coins and such physical currencies are completely useless in the City of Gods. Favors carry much more weight, as by law a favor must be fully carried out whenever the holder wishes.


    I finish my spaghetti, and while I''m wiping the tomato sauce off my face with a napkin the door slams open, and a certain bitch struts in, with the biggest shit-eating grin I''ve ever seen on her face. The grin turns into a frown when she realizes that there aren''t any free tables, and immediately singles me out of the crowd of spaghetti-lovers.


    She walks over to my table, and grabs my shoulder, trying to drag me out of my seat by force. Of course, I don''t budge an inch. I leisurely clean my face until I''m sure every speck of tomato sauce is gone, and then go over it one more time for good measure. At this point, Lumenia''s nails are digging into my shoulder, and I figure it''s time to leave.


    But hell if I''m leaving without putting that bitch in her place first.


    As I stand up, I grab the wrist of the hand currently on my shoulder, and then squeeze until I can hear bones snapping. I don''t stop until ever single bone in her hand has been pulverized into a fine powder. Then, with a positively angelic smile on my face, I walk out the door. I can still hear her shrieking, but she can''t really do anything to me, because she''s bound to respect Mona''s rules when inside her establishment, and one of her rules is that no customer may damage the restaurant. Since Lumenia, being an idiot, only knows loud and flashy (translation: lasers, explosions, and general mayhem), she can''t get back at me until she leaves the restaurant.


    And by then I''ll be long gone. I almost regret not staying behind to watch her face as she realizes that I''ve put a curse on her hand, preventing it from healing for a few hours. I could have made it longer if I had more power, but after the recent drain I think conserving what I have left is the right thing to do.


    To be honest, I don''t have to leave the restaurant before teleporting. Sure, there''s a general rule of etiquette against it- nobody would be very happy if someone crashed though the window into their home, and then jumped out the broken window- but I''m the goddess of Chaos. I''m supposed to be an evil rule-breaker. The reason I don''t simply break every law in existence is because I don''t want to unnecessarily antagonize any powerful people.


    Specifically, the universe.


    It''s not really a person, since it''s not a living, thinking being. It''s more of a force of nature, like a storm or a flood, but damn it is powerful. Its power is truly infinite, because there are infinite versions of itself existing at the same time. Confused yet? If you''re not, you haven''t been paying proper attention.


    According to Cognitus, who''s done extensive research in this area, there are universes where gods don''t even exist. Imagine that. When I asked how, then, life would exist in that universe, he said that it simply occurred on its own, purely by chance. I still don''t quite believe him. It''s too bad I can''t simply hop over to take a look, as universes are a lot like super-durable soap bubbles floating around- they''re extremely self-contained. I''m stuck in my universe, forever. Which sucks.


    Anyway, anyone who violates a critical law is ''punished''. I added quotation marks there, because they simply wink out of existence. Seriously. Not only that, but apparently it''s made as though they never existed in the first place. Not even Cognitus has a definite list on deities who disappeared this way.


    Although a breach of etiquette is rather minor, I don''t want to risk it- after all, I figure I must have a lot weighing against me, what with being the goddess of Chaos and all that.


    When I open my eyes, I''m back inside the throne room. I can never get used to the sensation of teleporting from one place to another, and my eyelids always flutter closed, no matter how hard I try to keep them open.


    Lust is leaning against a corner, looking bored. I kind of understand- as the only being in the obelisk not under my direct control, it must be suffocatingly boring to be alone.


    "How''d the meeting go?"


    "Pretty uneventfully. Vitalis brought back life, although I had to give up one of my treasures."


    I suddenly remember my conversation with Cognitus.


    "But never mind that. Do you, or do you not, get power whenever gods have sex?"


    Lust fakes a cough, and looks at spot slightly above me.


    "Maybe?"


    I advance on her, hand raised, and she closes her eyes, expecting punishment for not revealing this information to me earlier.


    Instead, I ruffle her hair, and her eyes pop open, widened in surprise.


    "I don''t blame you for keeping it a secret, a girl''s got to have some secrets, after all. Besides, even I would be embarrassed if I had to admit that I got stronger from other people having sex, like some sort of twisted voyeur."


    This makes her giggle, and I smile.


    And then I pull my arm back down since it''s starting to cramp.


    When I ascended, I wasn''t very old. My body was that of a child barely reaching puberty, and it''s stayed that way since I became a goddess. I could always simply change my appearance, true, but it requires a constant amount of power and concentration to maintain, and that''s annoying. This means that Lust is much larger than me, in both height and boobs. Which is incredibly unfair.


    I yawn, and after a quick hug from Lust, I make my way to my bedchamber.


    In front of the door is a floor-to-ceiling mirror, and I take a moment to look at my reflection.


    I suppose I''m not exactly pretty, but I can''t say that I''m ugly, either. My jet-black hair reaches down to my waist, and my purple eyes, set in a face with rather average features, look a bit like gemstones. At least, that''s what I like to tell myself. My eyes used to be grey when I was a mortal, but for some reason they turned purple. Maybe it''s because of all the Chaos I channel, I honestly don''t know. I turn away from the mirror and flop on the bed.


    "Massage."


    At my command, the bed grows a series of bulges under my back, which begin to move and rotate, applying pleasurable pressure to my back. The bed is not a simple mattress-and-frame bed- it''s a living creature. The ''mattress'' is covered with its soft, downy skin, which feels surprisingly like fabric. It''s also rather warm, which means I can stay comfy even without a blanket. I suspect my father created it as a sort of sexual device, but failed to make it work the way he wanted to, and after discovering its potential for lifesaving massages decided to use it as his bed.


    I suppress the urge to groan as the bulges move on to my shoulders, squeezing the tension out of them. Sometimes I feel like creating tentacle beasts on Earth for the express purpose of giving massages. God knows- rather, I know- it''d certainly improve the sullen disposition of most humans.


    Deities don''t use phrases like ''goddamn'', simply because they''re redundant. What''s the point of saying goddamn when you''re a god? But since even deities need handy expletives lying around, they just use ''damn'', without the god attached.


    Deities also might not need sleep, but again, it''s another thing they do from time to time simply for the enjoyment. I myself try to keep a regular sleeping cycle, even if it''s completely unnecessary. Though the lack-of-power-induced nap in the meeting hall threw my internal sleep timer off a little, I can always fit more into my schedule. After all, I''ve got the sin of Sloth as part of me. Yay legitimate excuses to laze around!


    I close my eyes, and hope I don''t run into any wild memories this time. Of course, it doesn''t work.


    <hr>


    Father watches me through a giant projection on a wall, cackling madly. He has a tub of popcorn in his hands, and he periodically shoves handfuls into his mouth.


    "That daughter of mine is really something, no?"


    He speaks to a shadowy figure behind him. The figure doesn''t respond, and Father likes it that way- he''s too enamored with his own voice to have someone else''s cut in.


    He gasps when I cut off a rapist''s dick, and chortles.


    "Lust! Lu-u-st! Get your fine ass over here!"


    My sister appears, grasping a short-handled broom in one hand. He motions her to come stand next to him, and as soon as she''s close enough he grabs her butt. Her face twists into a grimace, and the handle of the broom starts splintering in her grasp, but both are ignored by Father. He rewinds the projection, then shows the messy emasculation again.


    "Wouldn''t you like to do that to me, Lust? I can see your hatred in your eyes- and I don''t even need to look in them, since you radiate bloodlust all the time! Oh, how delicious. Your rage is delectable. As a gourmet taster, I can sense a hint of vanilla, almost like you actually don''t hate me. Or is that just the slave contract? Yes, yes it is. Trust me, I know. I''ve got Wrath inside me! I''ve tasted all kinds of anger, and yours is like fine wine. Well, go away. Shoo!"


    He waves her away, and she walks stiffly out of the room. Soon after, a loud cracking noise can be heard from her general direction.


    Father pauses the projection, and puts up his own memories of torturing my mother. He parts the front of his robes and begins to idly jerk himself off. The shadowy figure behind him shows no reaction- either it''s already used to Father''s insane antics or it simply doesn''t show any emotion.The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.


    After a while, Father lets out a strange, strangled moan as he finishes, drenching the floor and the bottom of his robes with his load, and then he gets up. He motions for the figure to follow him as he leaves, and for an instant, the figure''s face is thrown into the light.


    It''s Mother, but her eyes are blank and unfocused, and her movements are jerky, as though she''s a puppet dangling on a string. Father pauses in the doorway, and turns to examine Mother''s body. He lets out a pleased sigh.


    "Even after all that torture, your body''s still as beautiful as ever! I knew kidnapping you was the right decision! Pity your, no, our daughter didn''t inherit your looks. If she did, I might have considered keeping her as a pet, like Lust."


    <hr>


    I open my eyes, and the first thing I do is shudder. The fact that my father was a depraved bastard is nothing new, but imagining him treating me the way he treated Lust is simply too disgusting for me to stomach.


    And then my thoughts turn to Mother. Could she possibly still be alive? I feel rather guilty that I haven''t sought her out in the ten years I''ve been a goddess, but I''d thought that she''d been killed after I was born, since Father likes to dispose of ''toys'' that aren''t useful to him anymore.


    There are still countless floors underneath the base of the obelisk I haven''t be able to explore. Perhaps one of them is a dungeon, and my mother is being held there. Or perhaps she''s dead, and I''m just pursuing a ghost. And then I realize there''s an easy way to find out whether she''s dead or not- I can simply ask Mortem. He never holds back on information about whether a mortal is dead or not.


    I shudder again, and tear the robes from my body. I swear to never wear those robes again- not after it''s been tainted in such a way by my father. I''ll have to ask Lust to get new ones made. She won''t be happy about it, but she''ll understand.


    I open my closet and pick out grey robes. The color grey is always a good idea when you want to be casual yet polite at the same time. I pull on the robe, and grimace as the bottom trails on the ground. It''ll have to do, I guess. It was probably made for my father, but was never worn since he never changed out of the ceremonial robes, the dirty slob.


    I walk out of the room, holding fistfuls of cloth to hold the robes up over my ankles so I don''t trip by accident. When I arrive in the throne room, there''s a bit of a scene going on.


    "I will not let you disturb Dementia while she is resting!"


    Shouts Lust.


    "Oh, how daring of you. A mere slave, challenging the authority of a goddess? Now step aside, girl, before I bring this entire place down."


    This from The Number One Bitch, Lumenia.


    I clear my throat, and both pairs of eyes turn towards me. (I''ve been doing a lot of throat-clearing these days. Maybe people just don''t notice me, but why? Is it because of my short stature?)


    "You don''t have nearly enough power to bring even a single pillar down, bi-Lumenia. You know my father was a paranoid son of a bitch. He probably made it so not even he could bring it down."


    On Lust''s face is a hopeful expression, as though she''s expecting me to save her. Well, I''m going to save her alright, but I have the feeling she won''t like the alternative very much.


    "Hey, Lust, could you make me some new ceremonial robes? Oh, and burn these while you''re at it."


    I hold out the tainted, filthy robes, and her expression quickly morphs to one of shock.


    "Are you actually insane? No, ignore that, you probably are. Why would you want to throw away these perfectly good robes? Do you have any idea how hard it is to weave magic into fabric like this? It''ll take me years!"


    "I just learned that He ejaculated all over it. So please, get rid of it for me."


    "Argh, I mean, if it''s about Him- fine. I''ll do it. Doesn''t mean I have to like it, though."


    She carries the soiled robe with her out of the room.


    I turn to go back to my bedchambers, when I remember there''s still someone left to deal with.


    "What do you want?"


    The goddess, who had been watching the open door where Lust had left, turned her gaze on me.


    "So that''s Lust? Insolent girl. I demand you apologize for the actions of your sl-"


    I grit my teeth, and grin. I can almost feel the horns threatening to emerge from my forehead.


    After becoming a goddess, I realized that whenever I felt a very strong emotion, I would start changing shape. In this case, because of Wrath, I almost began changing into an Archdemon, the highest ranking demons I control.


    Lumenia takes a step back from the sheer anger I''m letting out.


    The fact that Lust is still classified as a slave never fails to piss me off. After I discovered that she is under the control of a slave contract, I tried my best to find a way to nullify it. However, Father had bound her in a way that only he could modify the contents of the contract, and since he''s not around anymore she was doomed to be stuck as a slave. Instead of trying to get rid of the contract, I experimented with allowing her greater liberties while still staying within the tight confines of the contract. So far, I''ve been able to allow her to do mostly whatever she wants, although she still can''t leave the palace.


    "What, do you want? I don''t have the time to waste on chitchatting with you, bitch."


    She almost says ''How dare you'', then thinks better of it and closes her mouth, then swallows. Even a dumb animal can sense when it''s in danger.


    "Is it about your hand? I''ll have you know that no, I''m not going to remove the curse for you."


    "No, it''s not that. I already visited Vitalis, who helped me get rid of it."


    I slap my face with my hand. (Another thing that seems to be becoming a habit.)


    "You selfish idiot. Don''t you understand that Vitalis is still incredibly tired from all the power she had to use during the meeting? Do you not care about anyone other than yourself?"


    Every word I speak is punctuated by a sharp flare in my anger, and I''m pretty sure if I keep this up Lumenia''s going to start whimpering incoherently, so I try my best to calm myself.


    "So? What were you saying?"


    "W-well, I- I demand to know what kind of tampering you did while Vitalis recreated life on Earth!"


    Tampering? What tampering? Did something go wrong? What the fuck is she talking about?


    That was what went through my head, and I said as much.


    "Tampering? What tampering? Did something go wrong? What the fuck are you talking about?"


    This reaction shocks her so much that she forgets to be afraid, and starts walking towards me.


    "Surely you jest. How else could this have happened?"


    "Could what have happened? I have no idea what you''re even talking about!"


    "When I visited Vitalis, she told me that while she intended only to create humans, elves, dwarves, fae and other animals, for some reason she ended up with more types of mortals. Humans with features of beasts, elves with dark skin, and other creatures never seen before. Was that truly not your doing?"


    "No! And anyway, I thought Vitalis would be happy about having more living beings on the planet. Why''d she complain?"


    "She didn''t."


    "Huh?"


    An awkward silence stretches out between us as I struggle to process what she''s just said.


    "So, despite the fact that Vitalis is completely fine with it, you decided to storm into my palace, yell at my sister, and most annoyingly, accuse me of tampering with my own power?


    "Get out. Get out of here, and don''t ever come back. Oh, and you might want to stop using Angels as envoys, or you''ll notice your supply of them dwindling fairly quickly."


    Just in case she needs a little more motivation, I release my hold on my pure, unadulterated rage. Instantly, Lumenia is thrown against the wall, where she struggles to navigate to the exit using the wall decorations as handholds. As soon as she''s clear of the boundary, she immediately leaves with a flash of light.


    "I don''t think that was very wise."


    At some point in the discussion, Lust returned and is now leaning against the wall. She doesn''t show any signs of my anger having affected her at all, although she looks a bit pale.


    "Eh, it''s fine. I piss her off by just existing, so a little more can''t hurt, can it?"


    "Still. You just denied a major goddess access to your abode. She has every right to do the same to you."


    I rub my cheek absentmindedly while I consider what she just said. To be quite honest, I didn''t expect that. It could turn out to be a bit of a problem in the future.


    "I''m sure it''ll turn out all right. After all, I''m a major goddess myself. I can handle her."


    Lust gives me a doubtful look, but doesn''t press me any further, which I''m grateful for. I''m too busy planning out what to do next to respond to her.


    <hr>


    I''m standing in front of Lumenia''s palace.


    It''s a rather tacky affair, if I may say so myself- it''s a stereotypical castle, made of reflective, very shiny crystal. I''m sure I could fit ten obelisks inside it, at the very least. The courtyard I''m standing in is massive, and utterly wasteful. Every inch of it is crammed with flowers and bushes, but all it serves to do is give the area a sickeningly sweet, heady aroma.


    A herald notices me, and begins announcing my presence. I ball my hands into fists and grit my teeth, desperately trying to stay calm.


    "Dementia, goddess of Chaos, has arrived! She Who Devours, Lady of Evil, the Destroyer-"


    Most of these titles are bullshit, in the sense that they don''t apply to me. Except for She Who Devours and Godslayer, all of my titles were inherited from my father, and anything that reminds me of him is a bad thing.


    "-The Lurking One, The Monster Under the Bed-"


    Oh, come on. That''s not even my father, that''s just a Dream Eater, a shadow-like demon that enjoys living under childrens'' beds and feeding off the fear generated when they have nightmares, which is often, because Dream Eaters can induce bad dreams.


    After around ten minutes, the herald finally runs out of titles to announce.


    "-Crawling Chaos, Darkbringer, and Godslayer."


    The gates to the castle open, which I take as a good sign. It''s been a week since I tossed Lumenia out of my place, so I wasn''t sure how she''d react to me turning up at hers.


    During this week, I went to Mortem and asked about my Mother''s soul. He told me her soul was indeed in his realm, which means she''s either dead or my father simply removed her soul, leaving a fleshy husk behind. Either way, it means that she''s not suffering, so I''m glad.


    As soon as I walk in, I meet an invisible barrier blocking me from going any further into the throne room.


    "Give me a good reason I should let you in, after you so rudely forbid me from entering your dwelling."


    Thankfully, I come prepared. Attack me with everything you got, bitch!


    "I''m here to make a little bet."


    "Oh?"


    The barrier retracts imperceptibly, and I know I have her attention.


    "Yes, a bet. If you win, you get to remove me from the equation. Permanently."


    <hr>


    "So, let me go over this again. You want me to choose a mortal representative."


    "Yes, but not now. It would be useless choosing one now, since Vitalis forced them to regress to simple cavemen."


    "You want me to choose a representative once the world has caught up with approximately the same level of development as the world before you became immortal."


    "Yes."


    "And you will also choose a representative at the same time."


    "Yes."


    "And you want those two representatives to fight."


    "Oh, but not right away. After all, one of the conditions is that the representatives have to be newborns."


    "And you want those two representatives to fight once they grow up."


    "Yes."


    "What an utterly ridiculous bet."


    "Just think of what you could gain. If you win, you get to see me dragged off into the Eternal Abyss, kicking and screaming."


    "But think of what I could lose. You did demand that if I lost, I would have to relinquish my divinity and have the Council appoint a successor."


    "It''s not fair unless the reward for my victory is on the same scale as the reward for yours."


    I can almost see the thoughts inside her mind. She wants to get rid of me badly, but she''s also very scared. Scared that I''m going to win, and that she''s going to have to step down. I keep my facial expression carefully neutral, although on the inside I''m bursting with excitement.


    "And I''m allowed to appoint the representative as my Hero."


    "Yes."


    Heroes are mortals chosen by deities to carry out a specific task. The biggest perk of being a Hero is that you would gain access to a portion of your deity''s power- and in Lumenia''s case, that''s not a small amount. The only drawback is that a deity can only have one living Hero at a time.


    "But if you make your representative a Hero, they''ll be able to easily overpower my Hero."


    "True. Which is why I swore not to make my representative a Hero."


    She''s still suspicious of me- the deal undoubtedly sounds very good. Too good. But if she agrees to the bet, the magical contract would seal me from doing anything outside its limits.


    "I accept."


    She grasps my hand, and I feel a sudden heat on the back of my hand. I snatch it back, and examine my hand to find that there''s a strange rune burned into it- Lumenia''s doing the same, and I notice that her hand has the rune, too. So this must be proof of the contract.


    Lumenia sneers at me, clearly not expecting me to win the bet, no matter how hard I try.


    Little does she know that I purposefully added a loophole to the contract. Not an obvious one, but one nonetheless.


    "Well, begone! And don''t trouble me again until the time is right to choose a representative."


    When I appear back in my throne room, I pump my fist in the air and cry out in joy.


    While I''m not allowed to make my representative a Hero, there''s nothing in the bet that says I can''t be the representative myself- or, at least, myself inside a mortal body. After all, the contract specifically states that we have to choose mortal representatives.


    Normally, creating life is something only Vitalis can do. However, that is because creating souls is a restricted power, available only to her- creating a body is something any decent god can do without any effort. If I create a baby''s body, and send only my soul to reside in it, it won''t violate any of the rules and also allow me to make full use of my powers.


    I whoop again, rejoicing in the fact that I''ve finally gotten the opportunity to get rid of the bitch. And, to be fair, my side of the bet is much more reasonable. She simply has to give up her power- she doesn''t have to be punished, or thrown into the Abyss.


    Speaking of fair, it''s a completely useless thing. Fairness is a concept that goes hand in hand with arrogance. Those who know their true limits claw at every advantage they can get, often stooping to fighting ''dirty'' in the process. I don''t see what''s so dirty about it- I think the full usage of any possible weapon within reach is commendable.


    Maybe after this I can finally go to sleep without being troubled by horrid dreams.


    <hr>


    It''s been ages since I made that bet with Lumenia.


    I''ve popped in regularly to check the Earth''s progress, and it''s finally become rather similar to the world I left behind, although some of the continents are a little deformed.


    The new lifeforms, after much deliberation from the Council, were named ''beastkin'' and ''dark elf''. Wow, such creativity.


    I threw myself into planning out what race I wanted to be. According to Cognitus, beastkin are significantly more agile than humans thanks to their animal heritage, but are also rather weak. At least, the females are, and to me that''s what matters, since I''d prefer to stay female. Dark elves cannot wield any light magic- which proves that they''re creations formed from my contributed power- but are the best with dark magic.


    I decided to be a beastkin. I figured it would be the most comfortable form for me, as I was basically a beastkin (but without the physical additions) as a mortal. The dark affinity is tempting, but I just dislike elves in general. My body will be born to a guardsman of a moderately sized town- that way, I can have the body learn to use a sword, and ensure that it- no, I''ve got to start thinking of the body as me- won''t have a childhood fraught with poverty. I''m planning on using the time before I clash with Lumenia''s champion to experience life to the fullest, since I never got to do so as a mortal. Although it may be hard finding Lumenia''s champion in the first place- she''ll undoubtedly make him an attractive human male- since segregation is pretty severe, and each race has clearly defined borders. Still, I''m sure I''ll be able to find a way around the issue.


    And then there''s the matter of choosing a type of beastkin. There are different races of beastkin, depending on which animal they take their traits from. It seems that the predominant ones are beastkin with the traits of other mammals, although there are reptilian beastkin as well. I chose to be a wolf beastkin, in honor of the first hunting animal I killed.


    I''m ready to be reborn.


    I arrive at Lumenia''s castle, endure the herald''s nauseatingly loud voice, and step inside the throne room. She knows what I''m here for.


    "Is it time already?"


    "Yes, it is."


    Lumenia sighs as she steps down from her gilded throne. I can''t help but think that it would be extremely uncomfortable to sit in such a hard chair- my own throne is an unassuming, comfortable armchair.


    She waves her hand, and projects the image of a woman onto the floor.


    "I have already chosen my representative- this woman''s child. He will be born in three days."


    "I''m glad to see that you''re thinking ahead for once. I''ve chosen my own champion as well- she''s going to be born in three days, too. What a coincidence."


    Because I can''t just take a random baby and put my soul in it- that would be cruel, since I would be forcing out the soul already there- I went and found a barren wolf beastkin woman who is married to a guardsman, and implanted an embryo within her. I feel like I''ve done a good deed- the woman''s happiness when she found out she was pregnant was contagious, and I spent the whole day grinning.


    That was nine months ago, or about a day and a half in City of Gods time. Humans, elves and most beastkin have similar gestation periods, since they share the same base physiology.


    Now that I''ve gotten the matter of Lumenia''s champion settled, I turn and walk out of the room, leaving a parting remark behind.


    "Good luck."


    And this time, I mean it. It''s going to take more than luck for her to win this bet.


    The nightmares still haven''t stopped. Looks like I''ll be having to go through the entirety of Father''s memories.


    <hr>


    I open my eyes.


    I''m lying between a woman''s thighs, visible to either side of my field of view. So that''s my mother- or her legs, anyway.


    I see a woman''s face. I instantly dismiss her as the midwife- after all, my mother wouldn''t be able to look at me in such a way, not right after I''ve been born.


    I take in my surroundings. There''s a man worriedly looking at me- obviously my father- and after a moment he says something to the midwife.


    Shit! I can''t understand their language!


    I suppose that''s fine, though. I have plenty of time to learn.


    The midwife slaps me, and I realize that I haven''t been doing what all babies do- crying. I suppose they thought I couldn''t breathe, so they wanted to forcefully induce me to cry. Well, if you want me to cry, I''ll cry.


    Besides, that slap hurt.