《The Incredibly Lazy and Extremely Depressed Mr. Benedict In Another World》
Chapter 1: Now what?
I am Benedict Hammond, 23-year-old salaryman extraordinaire on the brink of being fired for my lax attitude despite the fact that I still manage to get everything done on time, even if it''s all done in a last-minute whirlwind.
Of course, the reason I''m being fired could be different. It could be my chronic depression, for example. The boss might come up with some bullshit reason about how I''m affecting workplace morale with my constant gloomy mutterings- which isn''t really bullshit since it''s actually true- but I don''t know yet.
Anyway.
My day started fairly normally. I woke up to a dubstep remix of In the Hall of the Mountain King by Grieg blasting in my ears, at which I opened my eyes and stayed in my bed, staring at the plain white ceiling with nothing but dark premonitions in my head. Who''d have known some of those would come true?
After thirty minutes of silent introspection, I rolled off my bed and onto the cold faux wood floor, wearing nothing but my white briefs. There I spent 15 minutes contemplating whether I should just go back to sleep and hopefully catch a rampaging strain of cold that would kill me, and then got up for breakfast. Breakfast was invariably heated cup noodles, because dear reader, not only was I- and I still am, really- extremely depressed, I was also incredibly lazy. I always looked up ''cup noodles'' on OnlineCart, the e-shopping service I used, and ordered a box of whatever was at the top of the list. Every month this ritual would be repeated, and a box containing the goods would arrive in front of my door.
After imbibing the spicy, artificial flavoring-laden treat, I started getting dressed, lay down on the bed halfway through, and after almost falling asleep again finished getting dressed. I then walked out of my apartment into the chilly autumn air.
My workplace was mercifully a mere 5-minute walk from my apartment, which is why I loitered for as long as possible before embarking on my grand journey to the caverns of hell, or GenCorp. GenCorp was one of those companies that everyone knew yet nobody really cared about.
Speeding up time to reach this current moment, I''m standing in front of the boss''s pointlessly extravagant desk, where he is sitting with a grim expression on his face, while holding something pink.
It''s The Pink Slip, the horror dreaded by many an office worker. I must escape now, before the boss engages his unique skill, ''Destructive Speech''.
Oh no, he''s already started. It''s super effective! Benedict is in critical condition!
The boss makes up some speech about how he''s sorry to let me go and yadda yadda yadda. Really, why even talk when you don''t mean it? Fucking dumbass.
As I walk through the doors, my feet feel numb. As though I''m not really walking, but floating. Gliding above the ground. I''m wandering aimlessly. I don''t really have a destination in mind. I can already feel the depression setting in again. It embraces me tenderly, giving me a lover''s kiss. And it doesn''t take its mouth off mine. My chest feels tight. I''m suffocating. It''s been a while since I seriously contemplated suicide. Of course, my body''s current state would make that exceedingly easy. Subsisting on nothing but cup noodles takes a toll on the body, and my laziness makes sure that I only eat when my body is crying out for it. This means that my body is extremely sickly-looking, with extremely pale, sallow skin, a near-skeletal frame, and dark bags underneath my dull eyes. My black, neck-length hair is almost perpetually greasy-looking, and there is a layer of stubble on my chin at all times. It''s the kind of body that would make children run to their mommies and cry about how a strange man stared at them.
I walk out into the road, staring fixedly at the ground in front of me. I don''t care if I get hit by a car, I just want to keep walking. Forever, hopefully. But hope is a lying piece of shit.
And suddenly everything goes black.
When I open my eyes, I''m in a black room. No, I don''t think it''s a room. Either I''ve gone blind, or something''s obscuring my vision.
And then I see a woman in front of me. No, more of a girl. A little girl. But little girls don''t have tits that big. What is this, some sort of fucking anime? I''m not a protagonist, dammit. I''m not protagonist material at all. My idea of a good time is lying down and contemplating the futility of life, not going around and killing monsters for the sake of peace. Who the hell thought that making a big-breasted little girl a goddess was a good idea?
"Welcome, Benedict Hammond! I am-"
"Shut up and send me back."
"Huh?"
She seems surprised by the fact that I interrupted her, but I don''t care. I want to get back to the semblance of life I had before this happened, and since I''m depressed anyway, being killed by a vengeful goddess is just a walk through a park.
"Look, whoever the fuck you are, little girl, send me back to Earth, assuming that this isn''t Earth in the first place."
I never really liked anime. The few I watched failed to interest me, although it might be because I swore my loyalty to books a long while ago. The same applies to movies and games, although when I was a child I was rather interested in Pouch Monsters, a game where you collect cute little pixelated monsters and force them to engage in brutal gladiatorial combat against each other. In short, perfect marketing material. Regarding movies, the only one I ever voluntarily watched was the adaptation of Hitchhiker''s Guide To The Galaxy. Marvin, a depressed, extremely intelligent robot, is to this date my favorite character of all time.
"Do you even realize who you''re talking to?"
Good. Get mad. Lose control of reason. Hopefully send a burst of killing intent my way so I can die peacefully.
"Are you trying to make me kill you?"
How''d you see through me that quickly?
"How''d you see through me that quickly?"
She sighs, and the sheer cuteness of the act makes me want to throttle myself. Is this the power of what they call moe? Truly terrifying.
"It doesn''t matter, anyway, since you''re already dead."
"How''d I die?"
I really hope I wasn''t hit by a truck. I''m not going to appease the God of Tropes (if he even exists) just because I''m a fictional character.
"They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so I''ll show you what happened."
The girl waves her hand, and a giant screen appears right in front of me. I can see myself walking into the road, and I see a truck barreling towards me. Fuck, so I did die in a trope-y way. But then the truck veers to the side, crashing into a building instead, and I just fall forwards, faceplanting on the road, while everyone''s attention is riveted on the truck stuck in the wall of some fancy cafe.
"What the fuck was that?"
I think you can excuse me for being angry in this situation.
"You were walking on the road, when due to your lifestyle your already frail heart simply gave out and you collapsed. The truck has nothing to do with it."
Fuck.
Fuck!
FUCK!
The girl makes an annoyed face at that.
"Language! You know I can hear all of your thoughts, right? I''m a goddess, after all."
Wait, really?
"Yes."
Then did you hear what I said about you being a big-breasted little girl?
"Mhm."
Oh, fuck. That''s another moment to add to the Benedict Hammond Embarrassing Moments collection.
"Don''t worry. I get that a lot. After all, lots of the people that I have to deal with are incurably morally corrupted otakus who salivate at the sight of me."
That sounds stressful.
"Tell me about it. Do you even know how scary it is when an overweight, panting man stares at you with lustful eyes? It makes you want to go and strip the skin off your body!"
Ugh.
"Indeed."
So, why am I here? I''m not overweight, nor am I an otaku.
"Well, you died, and you were a suitable candidate for reincarnation, so I brought you here."
A suitable candidate? What the fuck? In what way am I a suitable candidate?
No, before that, reincarnation?
"Allow me to introduce myself properly. I am the Goddess of Rebirth, Saisei."
Wait, isn''t that just rebirth in Japanese?
Here you might wonder just how I know what that means. Well, Japanese was my choice of a second language to learn- I''d wanted to learn an Asian language, and had originally considered Korean, Chinese and Japanese. Korea I simply did not have much interest in, and the complexity of Chinese characters drove me away, so the obvious choice was Japanese. Don''t mind the fact that Japanese borrows a lot of Chinese characters. Shhhh.
"Yep."
What the fuck? Why?
"I have no idea."
No wonder why otakus are so enamored with you. And here I was, trying to sympathize with you, when it''s all your own fault.
"Hey!"
I''m not going to be respectful to a big-titted kid. What do weebs call it? ''Oppai loli''?
The girl starts pouting, and my heart nearly melts. Focus. You''re the depressed, socially dysfunctional Benedict Hammond. You are utterly heartless and dense to the point that you don''t notice anything.
"Well, anyway..."
She coughs into her hand, and I start wondering if everything she does is designed to be cute. Probably. After all, men who are smitten are easier to sway. At that, she shoots me a dirty glare, but continues talking anyway.
"Would you like to be reincarnated into the fantasy land of Aithora?"
"No."
No. Nein. ??. ¤¤¤¤¤¨. ²». Whatever ''no'' is in Icelandic.
"Well, you don''t have a choice. ''No'' in Icelandic is ''Nr'', by the way."
Thanks for the information, but why don''t I get a choice?
"Because fuck you, that''s why."
Weren''t you the one admonishing me for my foul language just a few moments ago?
"I don''t recall anything like that."
How convenient.
"If you keep making me mad like this, I''m not going to let you choose a power before you get sent there."
Sure.
"Really? You''re going to be going there blind. And dumb. And deaf."
Why not.
"Stubborn fool."
Tsundere act?
"Now you sound like an otaku."
The horror.
"Walk over to me, and put your hand on this crystal ball."
She waves her hand again, and a floating crystal ball appears out of nowhere. Neat goddess powers.
"Thanks."
As soon as I touch the crystal, a giant blue box pops out of it. It is, unmistakably, an RPG-like status screen.
Name: Benedict Hammond
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Titles: [Embodiment of Depression], [The Powerless]
Level: 1
Health: 100/100
Mana: 100/100
Strength: 1
Dexterity: 1
Endurance: 1
Intelligence: 50
Wisdom: 1
Charisma: 1
Luck: 1
Skills: [Examine]
What.
The fuck.
What is with these stupidly low stats?
The loli goddess is holding her sides while she laughs, and I can see that her face is already red from laughing so hard.
"Hahahahahahahaha! These are the lowest stats I''ve ever seen! The only reason that they''re not 0 is because you''re not dead- or rather, your soul isn''t dead!"
She takes a big gulp of air, and cackles.
"Although your Intelligence stat is higher than the others. In fact, it''s incredibly high! What are you, some sort of genius? I suppose that makes up for the rest. And those titles!"
She''s completely gone. Captain! We have lost contact with the U.S.S. Saisei!
"Oh, I almost feel bad about this. It''s like sending a baby into a forest to deal with wolves!"
She coughs, the lingering traces of the laugh still in her voice.
"Well, bye!"
Wait, didn''t you say something about a power?
"You declined, didn''t you?"
Fuck.
And then she waves her hand, and my vision fades to white.
I''m in a forest. I can see the sky, so it''s a clearing. I can feel the soft blades of grass tickle my neck. Another trope. Add it to the tab.
I''m probably going to die soon. My weak body is already a handicap, and without the divine power to balance it out, I have nothing. Literally. Nothing but the clothes on my back. Saisei could have at least given me some beginner equipment. Maybe a sword. And badass armor. I''d rather have been reborn as a baby, as long as I get born into nobility, so I can live a comfortable second life.
And she didn''t even mention any goals. That means I''m free to do whatever I like, right? No? Dealing with an entire nation of demons isn''t my thing, and in lots of webnovels I''ve read the demons are portrayed as wronged victims of prejudice.
Unbeknownst to me, as I brooded over my hopeless situation, the vegetation in a short radius in front of me had begun to wither and die. And then, a giant, earth-shaking roar comes from somewhere near me, shaking the trees and sending birds a-flutter. Of course, I don''t care about this, being as preoccupied with my thoughts as I am.
The source of the roar is quickly revealed, as a giant, golden lion bounds out of the woods. And by golden, I mean golden- it looks like it''s actually made of gold. If I had bothered to [Examine] it, I would have known that it was a Level 56 Felinoid Aurum. As it is, I simply lay on the ground, eyes closed.
As soon as the lion came near me, it suddenly began trembling, and then it collapsed after futile attempts to steady its shaking knees, and after a series of rapid, loud gasps, simply died. Again, something had transpired without my knowledge- I had gained a skill. My constant depression had given me [Aura of Despair], which had somehow forced the Level 56 monster to its knees and had even killed it, despite me being a pitiful Level 1 with minimal stats. After the lion''s death, though, I had jumped to Level 32, which also gave me 155 unallocated stat points, 5 for each level. After the lion''s death, a veritable horde of monsters attempted to attack me, but was given the same treatment. A giant, four-winged gryphon, another Felinoid Aurum, a giant black wolf with blue markings on its fur, etc. All of them were about the same level as the lion, and my Level jumped again to 64. Of course, I was still unaware of the bodies slumped around me.
That was a summary of events up to around 5 minutes ago. I''m currently slack-jawed, staring at the bodies around me. For 5 minutes, I had thought some other, terrifying monster had come and killed all the others, and then I realized that I was the only living thing here. After some fiddling around (read: a lot of fiddling around, involving abruptly cut off shouts of "Status"!) I figured out that I can see my status again by thinking [Status]. Hopefully I can just say skill names in my head, too, or this would get really embarrassing, real fast. After hurriedly reading through my status, I found that I had indeed been the one to kill all those monsters. Being a sensible person, I put my 315 stat points into each stat evenly, which made my stats change by quite a lot. And then there were the repressed blue notification boxes that had popped up, but had been ignored, and is being perused by me right now. The first informed me that I gained [Aura of Despair]. I also found that I could use [Examine] on my skills, and I promptly did so on [Aura of Despair] and [Examine]. (Thankfully, I didn''t have to shout "Examine" every time I used it.)If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
[Aura of Despair]
Toggled: YES
An ability that projects the user''s own depression onto beings around it. Has different effects depending on how depressed the user is.
Cost: None
Hey, wait, isn''t that extremely overpowered? And here I was thinking I''d die as soon as I arrived here! Of yourself, the possibility of some kingdom trying to use me is still there, so I better not get my hopes up. Not to mention, staying depressed is actually beneficial to my health, at least in this world. Thank you overly emotional past self that landed me in this stupid loop of depression!
[Examine]
See a detailed summary of a target.
Cost: None
I also gained the titles [Monster Killer] and [Big Game Hunter].
[Monster Killer]
Requirements: Kill 25 monsters
You have started down the path of hunting monsters. However, you must beware- for those who slay monsters may become one themselves.
Effects: +20 Charisma
[Big Game Hunter]
Requirements: Kill 25 large monsters
You are not afraid to track down and kill colossal monsters. You are truly mighty.
Effects: +20 Strength
After allocating my stat points, my stats look like this:
Name: Benedict Hammond
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Titles: [Embodiment of Depression], [The Powerless], [Monster Killer], [Big Game Hunter]
Level: 64
Health: 9100/9100
Mana: 4600/4600
Strength: 46 (+20)
Dexterity: 46
Endurance: 46
Intelligence: 96
Wisdom: 46
Charisma: 46 (+20)
Luck: 46
Skills: [Examine], [Aura of Despair]
This, I hope, will remove the setback that the lack of a divine power has given me. Now that I''ve checked my stats a bit more, each level of Endurance seems to give me 200 extra Health, while each level of Intelligence gives me 100 extra Mana. I''m still miffed that I started with 100 Mana despite the fact that I had 50 Int, but oh, well.
After that, I check the two titles I started out with.
[Embodiment of Depression]
Requirements: Unknown
Your thoughts are constantly filled with depression. It is a wonder you have not committed suicide yet.
Effects: Grants the skill [Aura of Despair]
[The Powerless]
Requirements: Decline Saisei''s offer before being reincarnated.
Stupid!
Effects: Saisei gets to call you an idiot every time she talks to you
Thanks, [Embodiment of Depression]. That makes me feel so much better. Even if you gave me that incredibly convenient skill I can''t forgive you for making fun of my depression. That being said, though, why does the description for [The Powerless] feel like something that annoying titty goddess would say? Must ignore. Maybe if I pretend it doesn''t exist it''ll go away.
But still, stupid title or no, isn''t having this many titles kinda strange for someone who just landed in a strange new world? Unless everyone on this planet is so bogged down by titles that the average citizen has 10, I don''t think this is normal. That reminds me, can other people see status screens? Is it something exclusive to me? Saisei did mention that there are more reincarnators, so maybe not? Well, to find out I''ll have to go to a town, accept some stupid low-level quests like every RPG-themed webnovel, and run into an incredibly beautiful teenage girl that falls head-over-heels for me. Yeah, right. I don''t even need to take a look at myself to know that I am ugly. These muscle-less, toothpick-thin arms! These veined hands, skin so thin the bones take up more space than flesh! The outline of my rib cage pressing against my chest, as though an errant chestburster has taken up residence there! I''d be concerned for the mental health of anyone who thinks me attractive- they''d need to be either a skeleton or a zombie.
Hey, if my Strength stat went up, why am I still so... Skeletal? Does it only apply to actual strength, not external muscle mass? I''ll have to test that out later. For now, my more pressing concern is my stats. Are they average? Do other people have higher stats? I''d imagine so, since the titles I got just casually throw around +20 to my stats. Also, why do the answers to many of my problems involve entering civilization?
There''s a problem with that last one. For one, I''ve been thrust into a forest with a large number of creatures that are deadly to me, if not the other residents of this world. Finding my way out could take a long time, and without anything to cut the hide of these monsters I''ll starve real quick. Hah! I bet you expected me to worry about the dangers posed by the monsters, didn''t you! My [Aura of Despair] seems to be able to handle them pretty easily, so I''m not worried about them. But really, is monster flesh even edible? Are there non-monster animals in this forest?
The second problem is the fact that there''s a Race section in my status. Does that mean that there are non-human sentient beings in this world? What if I''ve been dropped in a forest near or in the territory of those who oppose humans? I''d rather not have to kill everything I meet, and even with [Aura of Despair] on I can''t protect against ranged attacks. Though, I might be able to convince them I''m not human. All I need to do is pour a bucket of blood and giblets on my body and I''d make a great zombie. Too bad zombies are probably considered monsters.
Oh, dear me, I''ve gone rather off course, haven''t I? Just standing around thinking, when I should really be trying to find a way out of this damn forest. For now, I''ll deactivate [Aura of Despair]. No point killing plants, since nature''s one of the few things I can appreciate. If only I could direct the skill at a single target instead of using it like a dome surrounding me. You know what? Sorry nature, but I need to do some experiments! First, I use [Examine] on all of the trees around me! just in case I accidentally kill some ultra-rare plant essential for survival. Thankfully, they''re all normal trees like elms and oaks. It''s good to know that this world shares some of the species my own has. Now, time to kill things (plants)! My [Aura] has already killed off the grass in a roughly two-meter radius around me. I''m not sure if I can increase the radius later or not, but for now, unless someone charges at me with an absurdly long sword or a spear I''ll be fine.
I concentrate on the most negative emotions I can find inside me, and try to target the nearest tree. It''s not easy to target something with emotions, but I try anyway. To my surprise, it works- although I already sort of guessed it would, since [Aura of Despair] seems to be a mind-based attack. The problem is, the skill keeps working on the grass around me, which is a rather large problem. This time, I focus on getting the emotions I''m broadcasting stopped, and the grass stops dying, and returns to verdant health. I don''t notice it though, since the emotions originally directed at the plants are now stuck inside me. I can feel the depression again, this time it''s caressing me from behind, its hands slowly rising to my neck. It''s obvious that the panic-induced suffocation is going to kick in again, but I won''t let it. You think you''re tough? I''ve lived with you in my head for a decade. Sure, I''m still going to be depressed as fuck, but I''ll be damned if I let depression kill me. Or that''s what I want to shout at it, if not for the snide little voice in my head that reminds me of how I actually died. Good thing that when you''re in a forest, nobody can see you blush.
But still, in the interest of my sanity, I should keep the [Aura] going on a single target constantly. One of the numerous therapists I''ve talked to told me that bottling up emotions isn''t good, and the pressure''s gonna make me explode when I don''t want to. So instead, if I let out the pressure in small jets, I should retain my sanity while continuing to be depressed, which is fine with me.
Also, if this world is a bit like a RPG, does that mean I have an inventory? Let''s check it out. I put my hand on one of the dead bodies and think [Inventory], and a screen much like my status screen pops up in front of me. Well, that wasn''t what I was trying to do, but that''s useful anyway. Now, do I have to think [Take] or [Put in Inventory] for this...? Oh, [Take] works. Great. Less effort. And the giant corpse only takes up one slot, so that''s great. How many slots do I have, anyway? Is that a scroll bar? You know what, I''ll explore this later. I think I might faint if I realize just how overpowered the new me is. As I go around taking the corpses, I realize that corpses from the same type of monsters stack. That''s good, although judging from my previous experience I have more than enough inventory slots for everything I need.
Now that I''m done with everything that needs to be done, time for a leisurely stroll.
I''ve been walking for at least a full hour now, and the novelty of being dropped in a new world is wearing off fast. Three more giant monsters went and tried attacking me, only to be killed by my fearsome [Aura]. It''s getting much easier to control now that I know exactly how to do so. Plus, I got a new level, so I''m fine with this.
And then, as I''m wandering aimlessly, I come across another clearing. What a surprise! If this goes according to common tropes, this clearing will contain some sort of incredible monster that''s the ''lord'' of the forest, who is either wounded and wants a worthy successor/is incredibly strong and accepts me as its disciple. Before entering the clearing, let''s take a peek...
Huh?
That wasn''t what I expected. It''s still a trope, but marginally less common.
Before me is a party of adventurers, sprawled out on the ground with various degrees of injury, with what looks to be a giant green horned frog standing in front of them. Seriously, what is with this forest and giant things? Oh, yeah, I have [Examine]. Let''s try it!
Name: None
Age: 254
Gender: Male
Race: Frog Lord
Titles: [The Wizened Frog]
Level: 183
That''s interesting. So this 254-year-old frog''s stats aren''t visible to me? Too bad. Well, I''m sure [Aura of Despair] will work on it, just like all the other monsters I''ve tried it on.
Surprisingly, the frog doesn''t drop immediately. I can almost feel it struggling, then I feel a loud, booming voice in my head.
''How dare you attack me so brazenly, human?''
Don''t tell me you''re another one of those thought-reading types.
''I am indeed a telepath.''
Fuck. Well, how''s the depression I''m sending your way?
''It- I have never felt such negative emotions before. Thi- this is-''
Well, now we know that not even super-old giant frogs are immune to depression. Truly a force to be reckoned with.
The frog gets more and more desperate as the depression forces it closer and closer to the edge, but of course, I ignore all the pleas. And then, it dies. Thank you, Wizened Frog! I am now Level 67! Ooh, now I have a new title, [Lord of the Mystical Forest]!
[Lord of the Mystical Forest]
Requirements: Killthe previous Lord
You are recognized as the lord of the Mystical Forest, a giant forest at the southern edge of Silvena which is filled with monsters. Monsters residing in the area will not attack you.
Effects: Max intimacy with the monsters of the Mystical Forest
I place my hand on the edge of its giant horn, and think [Take]. Hopefully this carcass is worth something. And then a whimper shakes me out of my thoughts, and I realize that the adventurers are (mostly) still alive. Hmm. Should I kill them? [Examine]!
Name: Carlie
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Race: Human
Titles: None
Level: 37
Name: Lanir D''Avarron
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Race: Elf
Titles: [Princess of Avarron]
Level: 42
Name: Johnnie
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Titles: None
Level: 35
Name: Luke Elyfern
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Titles: [Minor Lord of Silvena]
Level: 33
I sigh with exasperation. These idiots really thought they could just challenge this forest with levels that low? None of them have levels higher than the Level 56 Felinoid Aurum I killed, and there are only four of them. My guess? Privileged rich kids who begged their parents to buy them some fancy equipment and then charged into the nearest monster hideout they could find, only to have their asses kicked. And what''s with the cliched composition? A princess, a minor noble, and two nobodies. Well, whether they live or not is up to the cleric-looking girl- that Carlie- since I don''t know how to do anything about it, and I say as much.
"Oi, you brats. Take care of your wounds yourself, since I don''t have any skills to help you. I''ve already done enough by killing off that stupid frog, so I''m leaving now. Bye."
Killing them would be a bad idea, since one of them''s a princess. Don''t want an entire country to put a bounty on my head, no sir. And then I realize that the princess brat is crying. I wonder why, then I look at Johnnie and realize that he''s dead. Oops. I guess [Examine] doesn''t differentiate between dead bodies and living targets. Well, not my problem.
And so I leave the party of three lying down on the ground, covered in bruises and deep gashes. What? You''re annoyed with me? I''m not a goody two-shoes. It''s not in my best interest to go helping everyone I see. And besides, if I helped them I''d probably be sucked into the stereotypical light novel storyline, which I want to avoid for as long as I can.
Lanir D''Avarron had been utterly confident her small circle of friends would be able to come back out of the forest victorious. After all, they were fresh graduates from the Avarron School of Magics and Combat, an elite school in the elven country only for those with great potential, and they had the best equipment money could buy, courtesy of her father''s treasury. Sure, they had been warned that the forest was dangerous, and that there were incredibly powerful beasts in there, but they had ignored the warnings, instead choosing to rely on their bravado. And now that Johnnie was dead, the fact that they were still very small fish in an incredibly large ocean was hammered into their heads. The princess had been extremely close to Johnnie, even if marriage between the two was impossible to the difference in social standing. This was why Johnnie had been determined to accumulate incredible achievements, hoping to one day be worthy of asking the elven king for his daughter''s hand in marriage. And now he was gone, never to look at her with his intense yet soft gaze again. Her thoughts wandered as her fingers slowly reached for one of the last health potions on her belt. Who had been that strange man who had come in at the last second and rescued them? He was unlike anyone she had ever seen, looking as though he had been locked in a basement for centuries. He had killed the monster without even touching it, and had somehow made it disappear. She would suspect a storage ring, but there were none that could store a monster of that magnitude. And if he was that powerful, surely the man would have accumulated some sort of fame, but she had never even heard of him. And his attitude! Sure, she was not wearing any telltale marks that indicated her as royalty, but the man had treated them as though they were little kids caught sneaking into a brothel. Her fingers tightened on the neck of a glass bottle filled with a red liquid. Whoever he was, she would find him, although whether she would thank him or have him arrested was a different matter.
Chapter 2: People from Earth are shitty
That reminds me. I haven''t tested out my huge increase in Strength. Hopefully, even if it doesn''t turn me into Schwarzenegger, it''ll still let me do various strength-oriented things. Sorry, tree-life of this forest, but it looks like my first test subject will be you, just like that time with the [Aura of Despair]! I''m not going to ask for forgiveness, though, since it''s probably going to happen a lot. After all, trees are the perfect punching bags- they''re immobile, hard, and don''t punch back.
I honestly doubt my stats currently are that high though, since none of them have reached 100 yet. Maybe I''m over-generalizing and I need to focus on a single stat at a time.
Curious to see exactly how strong I am, I drop into an exaggerated windup pose, then slam my fist into the tough bark of the tree.
And then I scream because my hand- which feels like it''s broken- gets stuck about midway through the trunk. You let me down, Endurance stat. I thought you would last longer than half a tree. No amount of tugging frees my poor broken hand, which now has splinters in it to boot, and so I resort to drastic measures. After offering an apology to the tree, I use my [Aura], and within seconds the trunk turns brittle enough for me to pull my hand out destroying half of the tree in the process. Oops. I was originally going to stop my [Aura] before the tree dies so it can recover on its own, but now that I''ve basically killed it I suppose I should put it out of its misery. Well, at least this confirms it- trees do indeed have consciousnesses. I humbly request your forgiveness for using too much toilet paper.
I glare at my ruined hand, but there''s really not much I can do about it. The lack of a power from Saisei is really starting to show- what if I got advanced regeneration as a power? Now that would make Benedict a very happy (and overpowered) boy. I sigh, since it''s not worth thinking about what could have been, and start pulling out the bigger splinters with my fingernails. At least this is a good way to train my pain resistance.
You have gained the skill [Pain Resistance]!
Speak of the devil.
[Pain Resistance] Level 1
Level up requirements: Endure a substantial amount of pain
You have felt agony, and it has forged you into a harder blade.
Effects: Decreases pain felt
I sense an incredibly useful skill in the future! Too bad I can''t turn this off. Having a decreased sense of pain all the time seems like a bad idea, since it''s the human body''s natural warning mechanism. What if I, say, dislocate my shoulder, but without the pain screaming ''YOUR SHOULDER IS BROKE DUMBASS'' in my ear how will I know before it''s too late? Well, I''ll cross that bridge when I come to it.
I hear a rustling noise accompanied by slight vibrations in the ground, and I turn to see a smaller, silver version of the Felinoid Aurums I saw. Apparently, it''s a Felinoid Argentum. What is with this world and its love of Latin? I ready my aura to strike out at the creature at any moment, but it simply trots over to me, nods its head respectfully, and drops a pile of fruit on the the ground before leaving. Aha, this must be part of the effects of [Lord of the Mystical Forest]! That''s the food problem gone. I can''t help but think that farming Levels when every creature here is so subservient would be incredibly easy, but I don''t want to risk losing the [Lord of the Mystical Forest] title.
I''m surprised I didn''t get notified when I broke my hand, since that obviously resulted in a decrease to my current HP. And sure enough, when I check my [Status], I see that my Health has gone down by 200. Thank fuck it wasn''t more than that. The fact that I have to manually go to my [Status] to see changes in my Health is annoying, to say the least. I wonder, can I have a heads-up display that shows my Health and Mana like in first-person RPGs? Still in my [Status] screen, I imagine the HP section moving off the blue box and into the corner of my vision. After what seems like hours, the section finally starts sliding off the box. Having a numerical indicator is a bit less visually stimulating than the colorful bars most games have, but it''ll have to do. I repeat the process with my Mana, and I smile internally. Now, it''s basically a video game. Except there are no respawns. I hope there''s some sort of magic to bring back the dead in a fully self-conscious manner. (No mindless undead for me!)
How am I smiling despite being depressed? Well, I don''t know about you, but to me depression is not a constant thing. It comes and goes as it pleases, and when it''s not there I''m a perfectly ordinary person, but when it takes over I''m reduced to a sobbing wreck lying on the floor while clutching my shoulders.
Depression sucks.
All the stuff I''ve done has made me hungry (not to mention that this is the most physical labor I''ve done in a long while), so I turn to the pile of fruit. I''m pleasantly surprised to discover that none of them are like the fruits on Earth. Exotic!
[Besti Fruit]
A purple fruit. Sweet, slightly sour taste.
[Colberry]
A small, green berry. Extremely sour.
[Lireto Fruit]
An orange fruit. Sweet, extremely watery.
[Vitalis Berry]
A small, red berry. Bitter taste.
Effects: Recover 100 HP
[Salinon Fruit]
A dark blue fruit. Sweet, tangy flavor.
Wait, what did the description for the Vitalis Berry say? Recover 100 HP? Hell yes! I immediately grab two of the diminutive orbs and pop them into my mouth. They''re a bit like cherries- if cherries were bitter, and had way too many seeds- and there isn''t much to actually eat. I spit out the seeds, and check my [Status]. Instead of being immediately refilled, my HP is going up at a rapid pace. When I look at my broken right hand, I see that the wounds are closing. I just hope the bones getting put back together doesn''t hurt too mu- OH FUCK ME!
Now that the torture of having my broken hand put back together at a rapid rate has ended, I pant while lying on the ground. The blood from my hand is still there, and it''s beginning to stink. Ugh, some of it got on the winter parka I was wearing when I died. Goodbye, South Face parka! May you be reincarnated as some fancy handbag.
... That is what I would say if I had a way to dispose of it, but without a weapon or any fire-related skills I''m forced to keep the coat. Hold on, why did I never use [Examine] on my clothes?
[South Face winter parka (fake)]
A Chinese ripoff of a famous brand.
[Abibas sneakers (fake)]
A Chinese ripoff of a famous brand.
[Kalvin Clein shirt (fake)]
A Chinese ripoff of a famous brand.
Okay, I get it. All the shit I''m wearing is a cheap knockoff. Geez, you didn''t need to rub it in my face like that, [Examine]. That being said, I''m curious to see what would happen if I [Examine] my underwear. Probably more Chinese knockoffs, but it''s worth a try.
As I take off my pants, the silver lion that brought me fruit pokes its head out of a nearby bush again, notices my state of undress, and disappears with a whimper. What''s with that? It''s an animal. It shouldn''t be embarrassed by seeing a human with his pants down. Now I feel unnecessarily violated.
[Kalvin Clein panties]
100% cotton.
Ooh, so my panties aren''t knockoffs? Good to know. No wonder my crotch always feels so snug whenever I wear them! As expected, Kalvin Clein is always the best! (Not sponsored by Kalvin Clein.)
Well, now that I''m done with this tomfoolery, I better get moving. The sun is starting to set, and I should use the waning light to find my way. Thanks to my title I don''t have to worry about monsters attacking me at night (although my [Aura] would have taken care of them anyway), but the lack of light will be a problem. I don''t want to go around smashing into trees if I can avoid it, and I certainly can.
Nightfall has arrived! Judging from the sheer quantity of visible stars in the sky and the number of unrecognizable constellations, this world is most certainly not Earth. Although it should really be obvious from the presence of monsters and elves and whatnot, who am I to say that they didn''t exist at some point in Earth''s timeline?
Not having to worry about monsters is the best! Sleeping in a tree seems incredibly uncomfortable, and with my slight frame I bet I''ll fall through the gap between branches and hit my head on the ground, resulting in me dying again. No thank you, it''s the ground for me.
As I drift off to sleep, I feel a vague sense of contentment. I died and was given a second chance and got an OP power. What''s not to like?
I wake up to something soft and wet on my face, and I open my eyes to see the Felinoid Argentum from yesterday poking me with its nose. Ow, stop that. You could put an eye out with those silver whiskers. Why does it like me so much, anyway? I mean, I''m not complaining- I never complain about free food- but this is just odd. Is this the true strength of the title [Lord of the Mystical Forest] or has this giant feline just developed an attachment to me for no reason? And then the answer becomes painfully clear as the lion nuzzles against my hand.
[Felinoid Argentum] would like to become your pet!
Accept/Deny
Oh goddess. To be honest, I wouldn''t mind having a giant silver lion as a pet. But if I''m to rejoin civilization, it would stand out too much. Way too much. And if it''s really completely made out of silver- which doesn''t make sense, but that''s just because I''m trying to apply Earth logic to Aithora- then the sheer number of people wanting to kidnap it for their own profit will bring more problems than its presence can solve. Yeah, no. Sorry, kitty, but unless you can turn invisible or something like that I don''t think you can come with me. [Deny].
[Felinoid Argentum] would like to become your pet!
Accept/Deny.
Are you fucking serious.
I wasted a good few hours on rebuffing the lion''s advances, but it''s incredibly stubborn. I''m so tired of denying it that I''m tempted to simply accept it as my pet, and live as a hermit in these woods forever. And then I have a great idea. What if I accept, and order it to leave me? [Accept]!
[Felinoid Argentum] is now your pet!
Good! No, stop licking my face. That tickles, and your saliva smells. Now, Felinoid, [Release]!
[Felinoid Argentum] refused the order!
FUCK!
Now that I''ve calmed down a bit, I fall into despair knowing that I''ve tripped right into another common flag, also known as ''monster companion later evolves into a cute girl''. And it''s even basically a big cat! I bet you everything I have that this cat is female. [Examine]!
Name: None
Age: 2
Gender: Female
Race: Felinoid Argentum
Titles: [Pet of Benedict Hammond]
Level: 37
Yup, yup. I''m not going to ask why she has the characteristic mane of a male lion when she''s a female. And the age! Is it still jailbait if it''s a monster? Probably. Slap a bestiality charge on there and call me Candi, because I wouldn''t last a week in prison. Well, if she ever turns into a cute girl I''ll just treat her like a daughter. Nothing more, nothing less. Although I have no parenting experience at all, being a single man in his twenties. I would say that the level/age ratio is incredibly unfair, but I haven''t been in this world for two days and I''m already at 64, so I can''t complain.
Now that I''m stuck with it- no, her- I guess I should give her a name. I''d like to avoid something too common and obvious (read: Silver), but there really aren''t that many names I can think up on the spot. I know, how about Mirror!
...
Yeah, I''m not good with names. But fuck it. Mirror you shall be, loyal lion!
As soon as I give her a name I hear a sound like a motorcycle engine, and I look around in panic before I realize that it''s just the sound of Mirror purring. Jesus Fucking Christ (or Fucking Saisei now that I''m in a world without Christianity), don''t scare me like that, Mirror.
Now that she''s my pet, I suppose I''ll have to test her intelligence.
''Mirror, can you hear me?''
I imagine a tendril of thought stretching from my forehead to hers, and the reply is almost instantaneous.
''Yes, master!''
Good, so she''s intelligent. That saves me the trouble of trying to converse with a dumb animal.
''What do you think about your name, Mirror?''
''I love it, master!''
The constant addition of ''master'' to every sentence she says is somewhat disturbing, but I suppose I''ll have to bear it. Who knows, maybe I''ll start enjoying it.
''Mirror, can you leave the forest?''
''I don''t know, master, I''ve never tried.''
So we don''t know if she can leave the forest with me. Well, that''s fine- we can test it soon. Besides, I''m fairly confident, since I''m the [Lord of the Mystical Forest]. Surely there aren''t any bullshit restrictions on where the creatures of the forest can go, right? Wait, shit, that includes me! Now I really hope there aren''t any restrictions since I don''t want to become an isolated hermit, even if I thought about it earlier.
After hours of walking, the forest finally gives way to flatlands, and I can see for hundreds of miles in all directions. It''s awe-inspiring. I take a deep breath, and tentatively step out of the limits of the forest. Nothing happens, thankfully, so I motion Mirror to follow me out. There''s an obviously well-traveled road up ahead, and I decide to follow it, since it''ll surely lead to a city.
I''m inside another forest, this one not as imposing or as large as the Mystical Forest. The trees are rather far apart for a forest, but I don''t know what else to call it. I told Mirror to stay back and watch me from afar- this is all for a plan of mine. I put it into motion after the first town I passed without entering. The reason I simply skipped it is because there''s really nothing I can get from them, unless I completely wipe them out, which is something I''d rather avoid. Make no mistake, this decision wasn''t made to save the lives of innocents, but rather to keep my own life, as killing off an entire town would undoubtedly anger the leader of the country I''m in.
I hear the sound of boots clomping on the ground, and a group of bandits surround me.
"Hand over yer money an'' anything else you got!"
Thank goddess for English.
The lead bandit, a short, rat-like man with a rather square jaw, calls out to me. Too bad for them I don''t have any money on me, other than the paper dollar bills I have in my pocket, which are completely useless.
"I don''t have anything, I swear! Please, let me go!"
This is, of course, an act. I may not have anything of value, but that doesn''t mean I have to beg for my life. My parka is safe in my inventory, as are the monster corpses.
"Don''t got nun'' eh? Well then, shrimp, ye''ll pay with yer body! Get ''im, boys!"
I allow the attackers to rush me, and then after a hard knock on my head that surprisingly doesn''t hurt much, I pretend to faint and slump bonelessly to the ground. That attack only did 50 damage to me? Just how weak are these bandits? Sure, it was designed to stun rather than kill, but it was a direct hit to my cranium. The fact that it only did 0.5% damage is... Surprising, to say the least.
While they tie me up and carry me to their camp, I relieve my boredom by [Examine]-ing the bandits.
Name: Sterling
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Titles: None
Level: 23
The bandit leader is weak. Absurdly weak, to me, but when I [Examine] the other bandits I''m met with a slew of 17s and 18s and even 13s, making my estimation of the power of this planet''s natives plummet.
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.After a long wait, they carry me to a camp, with stout wooden cages standing in a line. All of them have people in them, they all look rather roughed up. The majority are women and children, although there are a few men mixed in the prisoners as well. I''m thrown inside a cell, and the door''s locked behind me.
It''s time to execute the plan: The Only Way To Steal Is To Steal From The Mafia (Bandits)
''Mirror, start picking off stragglers one by one. Try not to be seen until it''s unavoidable.''
''Understood, master!''
Within moments, I hear a high-pitched scream which is abruptly cut off. The other bandits immediately jump to their feet, weapons drawn, and begin searching the area. The screams continue, with different voices every time. It''s the perfect distraction.
I easily tear off the ropes binding me, and make a hushing motion with my hands, because the other prisoners, having seen my display of strength, are about to start yelling. I then simply break the bars of the cage, not bothering to deal with the iron lock. Seriously, these people must be weak if a wooden cage can contain them. Sure, the bars are as thick as a man''s thigh, and I have stat points on my side, but still.
Because I feel that the other prisoners will make a ruckus if I don''t free them, I quickly break the bars of the other cages, too. In moments I''m surrounded by former prisoners, and I motion for them to stay there while I creep towards the aimlessly searching bandits.
The leader is the first to notice the mass breakout, and he shouts at his men to come recapture us. Really? The prisoners are your priority, when there''s an unknown third party who''s picking off your men one by one?
The first men who reach me slow down as the effects of my [Aura of Despair] start taking their toll. They then start crying, clawing at their face, and they die. It''s interesting to see the differences in how my [Aura] affects humans and monsters. Very educational.
The second wave is more cautious, probing the edges of my skill. One of the throws a knife at me, but with my Dexterity stat being so much higher than his I simply catch it in my right hand and throw it back twice as hard. Unfortunately, it misses. Fortunately, it hits a bandit in the distance, a few meters behind the one I was aiming for. That was totally on purpose, y''hear?
I grow tired of putting up the facade and step forward, activating my [Aura] as a field making sure none of the prisoners are in its range. As the bodies start to fall, the bandits lose courage and run the other way, but are stopped by the sight of Mirror, beautiful silver fur splattered with blood, holding the broken body of the bandit leader in her mouth.
''Good girl.''
''Thank you, master!''
I can see her tail wagging furiously. You''re not a dog, you know? You''re a lion, so don''t you have any sort of pride?
The bandits, sandwiched between two terrors, are frozen, eyes darting from me to Mirror, then back to me. Both of us are clearly formidable opponents, and they don''t want to deal with either of us. One of them, already realizing that they''re going to die either way, has collapsed into a ball, crying.
Mirror and I attack at the same time, her leaping at the bandits with a ferocious roar as the body flies out of her wide-open mouth, me running at the bandits with the [Aura] at full force. The result is a slaughter.
''Eat as much as you can, Mirror. Don''t overeat, though, it''s not healthy.''
While Mirror is preoccupied with eating the bodies all over the place, I go around the tents and loot everything I find. There really isn''t much worth taking other than money; I don''t need melee weapons thanks to my [Aura], and there aren''t any ranged weapons. Why didn''t these dumbass bandits have an archer or two? The freed prisoners are completely ignored, and I only realize they''re still there when a child suddenly bursts out crying. I look up from the chest I''m rummaging through, and make a shooing motion towards them. They don''t need to be told twice, and they scatter into the forest. At least since it''s still afternoon they have a fair chance of getting back to their homes- if it was nighttime they''d be fucked.
Mirror trots up to me, proudly displaying the human blood stained across her body.
''You did a good job, Mirror, but the blood is smelly. Go wash yourself in the nearest river.''
And with that, she bounds off into the forest. I''m not worried about her- she can handle her own against pretty much anything in this forest, and apparently she can locate me through the whole pet connection thing. Handy.
I''m approaching a city right now. I couldn''t bring myself to leave Mirror behind, so I made up an excuse beforehand about me being a monster tamer. Hopefully such a thing exists.
"Halt! What is your name and your purpose for visiting Stahl?"
So this city is Stahl, huh? It''s fairly large, but it''s not as large as I would imagine a capital to be. So this isn''t the capital of this country.
"I am Benedict Hammond, and I am a monster tamer here to sell monster parts."
One of the guards frowns, his furrowed eyebrows clearly visible even through the metal helmet he''s wearing.
"Hammond? I haven''t heard of that house before."
Dammit, dammit, dammit, Benedict, you fucking idiot! In this country, only nobles have surnames! Think, think, think.
Excuse 1: "Sorry, sir, that was just me stammering ''and I am''. You must have heard wrong."
Excuse 2: "Well, we are a rather obscure noble house after all."
Excuse 3: "It''s not Hammond, it''s ''insert wild guess here''!"
The second will obviously be seen through, and the third is simply ridiculous. I suppose I''ll go with the first, then, although I don''t have much confidence in it.
"Sorry, sir, that was just me stammering ''and I am''. You must have heard wrong. I''m clearly not a noble, see?"
For added emphasis, I lift my arms, showing off my shirt and pants. I''m sure nobles travel in much more extravagant fashion.
The excuse seems to have worked, but the guard is still staring at me with clear hostility in his eyes. He looks at Mirror, who I''m riding, and frowns.
"You sure that beast of yours is tamed?"
"Oh, yes, sir!"
I dismount and stand in front of Mirror.
"Sit!"
Mirror sits down, much like a dog.
"Lie down!"
She lies down on the ground.
"Roll over!"
She halfheartedly rolls on the ground, then gets back up shaking the dirt from her pelt. Behind me, the guards are open-mouthed, and I smirk internally.
''Sorry about that, Mirror.''
''It''s fine since it''s master, but how dare those humans watch me degrade myself like this!''
Oh, so you don''t mind wagging your tail like a dog, but now your pride kicks in?
"The entrance fee is 2 silver."
I pick out two silver coins from a money bag I plundered from the bandits, and hand it over. The guard''s hand remains outstretched, a nasty grin on his face.
"Each."
I wordlessly pick out two more, and the guard stands aside to let us in. I can hear his laughter as I step into the crowd. I''ll get you back for that someday, you bastard.
Mirror is a great way to divide the crowd, and she makes me feel like Moses, parting the sea of heads with her sheer presence.
What should I do now? I ask myself. I''d love to settle down now, but in this state I''m sure there are still more people who are stronger than I am. I must make sure I can protect myself from anything before I do that. And who gets to fight the most monsters? That''s right, adventurers.
The wooden sign hanging above the door of the Adventurer''s Guild branch here has a drawing of a sword crossed with a fireball, most likely representing the might of swordsmanship and magic. Not a bad logo, if I may say so myself. When I step inside, there is a noticeable decrease of volume in the hubbub as people turn to look at me, then the din becomes as loud as it usually is. I walk up to the counter behind a man wearing black armor, where a busty brunette is filling out some form, which she hands to the warrior. I step forward, and she looks at me, all smiles.
"May I ask what you are here for?"
"I would like to register as an adventurer."
"I see, I see."
She ducks under the counter and brings out a crystal orb, much like the one Saisei used to show me my starting stats, except that one was completely clear and this one is rather clouded, and it has a flat, horizontal slit on it.
"Place your hands on the crystal ball."
I do so, and the ball immediately spits out a card made of what looks like copper.
Name: Benedict Hammond
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Rank: F
The receptionist looks at the card with raised eyebrows.
"I didn''t know you were nobility, Sir Hammond."
Crap. Think of an excuse, quickly!
"I''m not, but I was adopted into the family of a minor lord."
"Ah, I see."
She nods, and hands the card to me.
"This is your adventurer license. If you lose it, you have to have it re-issued at the nearest Guild branch for 1 silver. The first time is free."
She points at a wall, filled with nothing but pieces of paper pinned to the wood.
"That is the requests board. You can only take requests that are the same rank as you or below.. When you choose a request, bring it to me, and I''ll approve it, which will make a magical contract between you and the requester, so that if you complete the request the requester has to give you the reward no matter what.
"There are seven ranks: F, E, D, C, B, A, and S. Everyone starts at F, but you can advance your rank by completing requests. Rank ups are handled by me, or whichever receptionist is at the counter at the moment. Any questions?"
"No, ma''am."
I step away from the counter, and I''m about to leave, when the door burst open, shoving me to the ground. The newcomers are a colorful bunch, with a scantily clad catgirl, a scantily clad elf, and a scantily clad human, but the person that my eyes are glued to is different.
He''s a human.
But he''s definitely from Earth.
On Earth I was Kenichiro Watanabe, an 18-year-old no-good son, at least according to my parents. I died when I accidentally stabbed myself with a butterfly knife while attempting to twirl it. When I opened my eyes after death, I saw a bona fide oppai loli goddess sitting in front of me. How did I know she was a goddess? Simple. For one, she was clothed in pure white robes, with gold trim. Secondly, in every anime involving reincarnation, the main character is visited by a goddess, who gives them a second chance. My heart started beating faster at the last thought. I never liked my life. As an otaku with enough blubber to feed a family for a week, I was always ridiculed. Being reincarnated would be the best thing that could possibly happen to me.
At the time, my head was filled with lewd thoughts about the loli goddess, because she was too cute for words. I imagined her in all sorts of poses, and as though she could see my thoughts she gave me a disdainful glare, making me freeze and desperately try to clear my mind. But then she didn''t bring it up, so my mind wandered back into the land of sin as she explained why I was here.
I had been chosen for reincarnation into a fantasy world called Aithora, which is incredibly cool. Not only that, the goddess promised me a unique ability to help me start off. Wanting to fulfill my desires of a harem, I asked for absolute mind control, and was denied. Apparently, if I wanted mind control I needed to set conditions to limit its power, as an absolute control would be way too overpowered, and possibly even endanger the gods. So I told her to set the restrictions herself, and she came up with this: I would not be able to control anyone with a stronger will than myself. I didn''t like it much, but mind control was still mind control. And then she told me to touch a crystal orb, which displayed my information in a blue box just like in a game. My stats were all in the 10s, except for Wisdom, which was a measly 1. It showed me that I had two skills- [Examine] and [Mind Control]. And with a wave of her hand, my life as a harem protagonist in a new world started.
I woke inside a strange circle, with someone who looked to be a king anxiously gazing at me.
"Are you the hero we summoned?"
The fact that this world used Japanese surprised me for a brief moment.
"Yes, I am. Kenichiro Watanabe at your service."
The king looked doubtful, and I could understand why. I was just a fat slob, so why would I be a great hero? He swallowed his doubts for the time being, and had a maid escort me to my room. It was a prime chance to try out my new skill.
''[Mind Control]!''
I thought furiously, and then I could see strange, translucent tentacles emerge from where my forehead is and then work their way into the maid''s head. Instantly, the maid freezes.
''Say ''Master.''''
I thought to her, and she immediately said it. I was pleasantly surprised how well the skill worked. I had a lot of fun that night, and the following morning I ordered the maid to go about her usual duties.
I spent the rest of that day attempting to mind control everyone I met, and before long I had a small army of mind-controlled people, whether they were maids or cooks or weak-willed soldiers. My purpose for them was not for staging a coup and taking the throne, but to make myself look good. As a loser with no redeeming qualities, I had to make myself look like a proper hero. I had solders lose to me in spectacular ways in sparring matches. I had maids spread glowing praise about me. And before too long, I was already well-trusted by the king. I had registered myself as an adventurer beforehand, and with the King''s permission, I went and began completing requests. I used every method I could think of to brainwash as many people as I could, and any cute girl I found I added to my party, and forced them to service me. Life was great.
After a couple of months, I made a trip to the city of Stahl. I finished a couple of requests befitting me, a rank S adventurer. My strategy was simple. I strengthened up the other members of my party, and they would fight while I stayed back, stepping up only to claim the kill. My level skyrocketed due to this, and so did my reputation.
I finished a mission, and threw open the door to the Guild branch, which knocked down a man. I almost just went past him, then I realized something odd about him.
He was wearing clothes from Earth.
Heart beating in my throat, I [Examine]d him. One Benedict Hammond, 23 years old, level 67. I immediately tried to mind control him, confident I would succeed, but the tentacles were repelled by an unknown force.
While I look at this other Earthman, I feel strange, cold tendrils in my head. Panicked, I activate [Aura of Despair], and then after realizing my mistake turn it off. But the strange feeling is gone, but quickly replaced- I realize that the [Aura] is the only thing stopping it from doing whatever it wants inside my head. I try to keep it at the minimum I can do, and I sigh in relief as every trace of the tendrils disappear from my mind.
And then everyone in the room turns towards me, and all hell breaks loose.
Why won''t the mind control work on him? I thought. I send out a second barrage, which is repelled just as easily as the first. Panicked, I command every brainwashed person in the building to attack him. Surely they can take down a single level 67, after all, I myself am level 134.
And then I feel a sort of a crushing force, something that makes me completely unable to move- everyone else in the room stops as well, and I watch as Benedict stands up, brushing the dirt off his pants. And then he glares straight at me.
My mind''s working overtime to figure out what just happened, but I think I got it. This scumbag in front of me got a mind control ability from Saisei, and used it to have everyone here attack me, once he realized the skill didn''t work on me.
Sorry, kiddo, but my mind''s hardened by depression. You won''t be able to get by that easily, and especially not when the depression is making an actual protective barrier around me.
How did I know it was this fucker behind it? For one, he didn''t move when all the other people did, so he was obviously not under the influence. Secondly, such an ability seems so overpowered that I can''t help but think of Saisei''s offer of one power.
What have you done, goddess?
I [Examine] him, and find that he''s a 18-year-old Japanese kid. Nothing in his titles shows his abilities, but his level proves that he''s the one. He can''t have gotten that high of a level, not when he''s so overweight. As much as I dislike hating fat people, it''s the simple truth that weighing more makes fighting monsters harder. Fucker probably forced other people to fight for him, while he stole the kills.
I shall show you no mercy.
I aim a spike of depression straight at him, and then makes it fly forwards. It pierces his brain, and stays there, pumping depression straight into his mind.
I couldn''t move. My body was frozen by whatever this man in front of me was using. I had grossly underestimated him due to his low level. I couldn''t even cry at my predicament.
And then the whispers came.
Floating around my mind, telling me how I was a monster, how I shouldn''t have done what I did, that I should just go die.
"SHUT UP!"
I snapped out of the effects of the spell, and swung my sword at the man, who casually ducked.
"I NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG! I''M THE HERO! I GET TO DO ANYTHING I WANT!"
The man snorted.
"Hero? Really? You would call yourself, a man who forces his will upon others, a hero? What makes you so special? The fact that you talked with Saisei? Wrong. The fact that you got a power? Wrong. The fact that you were reincarnated? Wrong! So, tell me, why are you the hero?"
His words ate away at me as though they were acid, and I screamed, charging at him. And then in his place, I suddenly saw the maid. The first person I controlled.
She reached out at my neck, and I stumbled backwards. Impossible. The maid couldn''t possibly be here.
And the from behind another set of hands came, this time from a nameless girl who I had raped in an alley. I struck her face, and scrambled for the door. But more and more people started appearing, all dragging at me, like a living tide, burying me under its influence. As my vision grew blurry, I started leaking tears from my eyes. This wasn''t the way it was supposed to be. I was supposed to be the great hero. I was supposed to be rich and famous with a dozen beautiful wives. I was supposed to-
And then I died.
As soon as the depression finished its work on the self-proclaimed ''hero'', all of the people previously pinned by my [Aura] started groaning as they regained control over their own minds. I could see tears in many of the women''s'' faces- no doubt he had raped many of them, and probably put bastards in their wombs, too. Well, nothing I could do about that. I''m sure there are herbs and potions in this world to purposefully induce a miscarriage. I''m by no means a pro-abortionist, but when it''s for aborting the result of rape... I can make an exception.
This just served to remind me that Earth is a shitty place, and the less come from it to Aithora, the better. If there are more reincarnators doing the same thing as that ratfucker, then I shall make it a personal mission to hunt them all.
You have gained the title [Reincarnation Killer]!
Side story 1: Mirror mirror on the wall
Before master came, life was a lot worse.
I was born from two Felinoid Argentum, as master calls us, along with five other siblings. We were immediately abandoned and left to fend for ourselves. Hungry, lost, and just born, the six of us huddled together during our first night as living, breathing creatures.
When we woke up, two of us were gone, with only trails of blood marking the fact that they had ever existed at all. The blood didn''t perturb us much- in fact, none of my siblings seemed to care that two of our kin had just been whisked away like that in the middle of the night. I was incredibly scared of whatever creature had been able to do so.
And thus, I turned to thinking.
Monsters, as a general rule, are not very good at mental things. A monster that can speak is a rarity, and usually is at least a few hundred years old. A monster that can understand a language is less rare, but are still few and far between. I was of the latter case. I could understand what intruders into the forest were saying, but my mouth couldn''t make the sounds I wanted to make. After all, the vocal cords of a feline aren''t very well suited for actual speech.
And so passed two years, while I grew and grew and ate and ate, occasionally jumping into a tree to observe intruders into the forest. I watched them talk, I watched them fight, I watched them live, I watched them die. I picked up more than just languages from them- it was almost as though a part of me was no longer a monster.
And then I was introduced to the previous [Lord of the Mystical Forest]. A senile old frog firmly convinced that the world revolved around him, I had no intention of serving under him and said as much, which enraged him so much that he sent every creature in the woods to attack me. Until I found master, my life was a constant game of cat and mouse, with the roles reversed.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.One day, I woke up to find a strange blue box in front of me. Thanks to my knowledge of language, I was able to read what it said.
''The previous [Lord of the Mystical Forest] has fallen. The new Lord has been chosen.''
Then I was unaware of master''s greatness, and trembled in fear at the existence of a being higher than the frog. But my curiosity got the better of me and I peeked at him while hiding in bushes. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that he was not another monster, but a human, like the ones I had been scrutinizing for so long! Desperately hoping that he would not be angered at me, I gathered fruit I knew the humans ate, and brought them to him as a peace offering. His lack of a reaction was relieving, as it meant that he would not kill me.
That night, I could not sleep, and obeyed the strange tugging sensation in my gut that pointed me towards master. He was sleeping under a tree, so I clambered into it and stared at him during the night. Somehow I had been inching closer and closer to him without myself realizing it, and before I knew it, my face was touching his, and he woke up. I honestly thought he would kill me then and there, but my fears turned out to be unfounded, as he simply murmured a sentence in a language I did not know and did not seem to be angered. This was when I knew that I wanted him to be my master.
Watching master be surprised by my requests to become his pet was amusing, and even more so when he accepted and tried to let me go. When he accepted the request, I felt something flow into my head, giving me knowledge, allowing me to taste but a fraction of the incredible amount of facts held inside master''s head. It was... Intoxicating, that''s the word. And it only solidified my determination to be a good pet for my master, for he deserved such loyalty and devotion.
Chapter 3: Timeskips are for the weak
A peal of high-pitched laughter rings out in a black void utterly devoid of anything but the outline of a little girl, rolling on the floor while clutching her stomach.
"Oh, Benedict, Benedict. Here I was thinking that you''d be dead in ten minutes, and you''ve gone and killed another reincarnator! How great is that?"
She lapses into deranged laughter once more, until her tiny lung capacity forces her to stop.
"I wonder, how far can you go with this whole ''I-kill-evil-reincarnators'' schtick?"
I like it when every loose end is tied up, partly because it means that I don''t have to tie them myself. Unfortunately, the loose ends tied themselves up in a way I did not appreciate, not at all.
After the self-proclaimed hero died, the mind control wore off. Thankfully, it seemed that the mind control only controlled actions, not memories, which meant that everyone who was controlled had vivid recollections of exactly what he did to them. This saved me a lot of trouble explaining why I killed their hero, and a couple of ladies even kicked the dead body into mush, ruining the floor of the Guild branch in the process.
I''d hoped that I would be allowed to take the hero''s stuff, but it was all confisticated by the king and queen on the grounds of ''returning an investment''. At least I got some sweet exp, but I cry at night whenever I think of the great equipment he must have had. Oh, well, win some, lose some. Here''s my current status:
Name: Benedict Hammond
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Titles: [Embodiment of Depression], [The Powerless], [Monster Killer], [Big Game Hunter], [Reincarnation Killer]
Level: 70
Health: 9700/9700
Mana: 4600/4600
Strength: 63 (+20)
Dexterity: 48
Endurance: 49
Intelligence: 98
Wisdom: 48
Charisma: 48 (+20)
Luck: 48
Skills: [Examine], [Aura of Despair]
[Reincarnation Killer]
Requirements: Kill a person experiencing a second life
Killing one who was reborn is not a good idea in most situations, but some can twist it to their advantage.
Effects: None
The fact that [Reincarnation Killer] doesn''t boost my stats makes me frown, and so does the fact that I only got three levels from killing this 100+ level asshole. I have the feeling that leveling is going to be absolute hell from now on.
The rulers, by the way, were utterly disgusted with me. Don''t ask why, because I don''t know either. I''m a huge fan of vigilante justice- bad people have gotta go. And I''d thought killing a maniac with plans to take over the world through mind control would earn me some brownie points, but for some reason I''ve been formally prohibited from ever earning a noble title. At least it''s something I don''t care too much about, since politics are boring. According to the guards, I should be thankful that I''m not in jail. Psh. Thankful? For what? Not being in jail for retaliating in self-defense against an attack on my psyche?
You know, if the guy hadn''t tried to enslave me like everyone else I might not have had to kill him. Sure, he''d have to give me a position as co-mastermind, but I think having an entire world under your thumb is a pretty neat idea, as long as it''s done right. The idiot I killed clearly didn''t have the know-how to pull it off.
I didn''t even get any rank points for defeating a villain. Because it wasn''t a guild-sanctioned request, it was merely treated as civil service. I refrained from shouting at the receptionist that the only reason it wasn''t an official request was because all of them were too busy being mind-controlled to put it up.
Now, it''s a week after that fiasco, and I''ve taken my first request!
... Although, being a rank F, it''s something really stupid. I have to collect 100 of these ''Bluenose Flowers'' before dark. Problem is, I have no idea what they look like. Well, I have [Examine] for a reason.
[Help] module unlocked by Saisei for killing off a nuisance! Message attached: "Thanks~! -the cutest goddess"
What''s this? Another conveniently timed power that somehow exactly fits the protagonist''s needs? Don''t mind if I do. [Help] me please!
-[Encyclopedia Aithora]
-[Contact Support]
[Contact Support]? Fuck yeah! Admin, I need out!
Saisei is not accepting calls at this moment.
Support is that fucking annoying goddess? Thanks for destroying my hopes and dreams. Looks like there really isn''t a way out of this world. That girl''s got a sick sense of humor. Let''s take a look at this [Encyclopedia Aithora] instead.
[Encyclopedia Aithora]
Records everything you have ever [Examine]d. Multiple [Examine]s may lead to a more detailed description.
To use, think of an item you would like to view.
That''s not of very much use to me right now, but it''s handy having something like this to auto-organize things.
Why does this flower live in a swamp surrounded by man-eating plants? Also, how the fuck is this a F-ranked request?
I have passed the Trial by Giant-chomping-plant-mouth-things ([Examine] told me they are [Carnivorum hominidae], but that''s too long to remember) and emerged victorious with a stack of 100 blue flowers in my inventory. The plant things didn''t even give me any exp, and I feel ripped off. Well, time to turn the request in.
... What do you mean that this request was misranked, so you can''t give me the rewards?
At this point I''m fairly sure increasing the Luck stat is useless, judging from what''s happened so far. Not only did I have to fight through a horde of monster plants curiously devoid of any exp, but I also wasn''t compensated for it. Oi, Luck stat, I get that I''ve been neglecting you in favor of Strength, but isn''t this a bit too much? Could it be that you''re turning yandere on me?
I completely forgot to sell off the monster corpses. Fuck. I hope my Inventory doesn''t let things rot or anything like that.
[Alpha Dire Wolf corpse (rotten)]
A once-useful corpse of an Alpha Dire Wolf. Has rotted away to nothing but bones.
FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
Well, at least I had a couple of Felinoid Aurum corpses. They, being made of pure gold, do not rot, and can literally be exchanged for their weight in gold coins. After that I was a thousand gold coins richer, and I began to see why dragons love hoarding so much. The bones of the rotten corpses were apparently useless, and even apocatheries only accept the bones of certain types of monsters that I don''t have. Still, they''re pretty strong, so I decided to keep them for future use. If all else fails, I can use them as chew toys for Mirror.
Mirror, being my pet, gets a portion of the exp I receive. The exp from the hero was enough to give her quite the boost in levels, and now she''s at 73 and just as ferocious as ever. Should I be jealous that my pet is leveling up more quickly than I am? Not really. I''m fairly certain that monsters require less exp to level up than humans do. At any rate, as she is completely subservient I''m not worried about her suddenly rebelling against me or anything. Even if she does, there''s always my [Aura], as much as it makes things boring.
Fighting the plants made me realize that not having an actual weapon is not a very good idea, even with my Strength stat and the level disparity between me and the plants (the corrosive blood of the plants made punching them to bits not so fun- I envied Mirror''s silver constitution, as silver is resistant to the acid). The problem is, not many weapons fit me. I''d like bows, but I have no experience using them, and I''ll probably miss every shot, even if it''s dictated by Dexterity. Swords are useless, because again, my [Aura] can take care of melee. So what did I get?
Tarot cards.
No, I''m not joking. Caught up in the whole tourist thing, I was dragged into a stuffy tent with a wizened old fortuneteller named Griselda, who somehow knew that I was reincarnated, and gave me a few hints as to what would happen in the future- extremely vague hints, but hints nonetheless. She told me that I would be given great happiness, and then endure suffering as the happiness is taken away. She said that whether I would be consumed by the pain or not was unclear, but I thanked her for services anyway. When I took out a money bag to pay, and looked down at it for a single moment while rummaging around to find currency of appropriate denomination, she disappeared, leaving nothing but tarot cards scattered on the table. Shrugging, I took them, examined them, and almost fainted on the spot.
[Tarot Cards of Luck]
Rarity: Mythical
Effects: Randomised based on drawn card, +100 Luck
A set of tarot cards once wielded by Luck, the Gambler himself. While not intended to have offensive capabilities, the residual magic in them is so strong that it makes a capable weapon.
Why, you shouldn''t have, Luck stat! While I don''t know anything about tarot cards, I can learn through battle- or at least, I hope. As long as they don''t do freaky things like summon flowerpots or sperm whales or moles, I''m fine with it. Besides, there''s no way I''m letting a Mythical rarity item go.
Although I''m not very interested in swordsmanship, I visited the guards'' barracks to utilize their training grounds, where I tested my strength using a broadsword. With it I cut through the dummies with ease, no doubt thanks to the usage of all my stat points on Strength. And then some old guy called Rorik came over to me, and said that he would train me in the art of fighting with an unrealistically heavy weapon. He himself had a sword that would make Cloud''s Buster Sword turn green in envy, and his bulging muscles belied his high yet hidden Strength stat. This is one of the advantages I have over the natives- I get stat points when I level up. The only way for Aithorans to increase their stats is to actually train in activities related to the stats, which makes their stat gain much slower than reincarnators. Because he was level 164, and would be able to beat me up with no trouble at all without my [Aura], I agreed to show up to his training sessions.
Which brings me back to now, a month after the whole hero incident.
"Put your back into it, lad!"
I slash at a giant wooden dummy, the five-foot-long blade I''m holding sinking into the dummy and getting stuck. The intense training Rorik puts me through- a roughly 20-mile run, 100 push-ups and 100 squats before breakfast, something of extravagant proportions thankfully partially paid with Rorik''s money. After that, he gives me a giant sword, and makes me whack away at a dummy until the sun goes down and the moon comes out to gawp at the foolish human tugging at a piece of metal stuck in a piece of wood.
"Goddess- fucking- dammit- come on- you piece of shit- clingy- wood-"
Rorik, after watching this pathetic display for a couple of minutes, comes over and pulls the sword out of the dummy, as though it was never stuck in the first place.
Rorik is a bit of an enigma. Captain of the Stahl city guard, he''s an 86-year-old man who trained in the way of the sword all his life. He doesn''t seem to have a family, but I could be wrong. Maybe he has an engagement ring he keeps stowed away in his room. I don''t know. I haven''t snuck into his room, yet, because I''m afraid I''ll actually die if he catches me in there. Despite his shady origins, there''s no doubting his combat prowess. He can beat even some S-ranked adventurers with relative ease, although the fact that S-rank has so many layers makes it kind of irrelevant. When he swings his sword, an iron monstrosity he simply calls ''Sword'', the air displaced by the swing actually creates a powerful vacuum that can attract objects from ten meters away. He''s that strong, and yet his level is so much power than what you''d expect. Some say that he can split an entire mountain with one strike, but I''m skeptical of that rumor.
I''m apparently his first disciple. He never expressed the desire to pass on his love for giant swords, until he saw me. I like his method of training- no bullshit, no complicated technique names like [Ninth Heaven Shitting Dragon Strike]. My Strength has gone up by a significant amount just from training, and my Endurance is also starting to show signs of improving, too.
Name: Benedict Hammond
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Titles: [Embodiment of Depression], [The Powerless], [Monster Killer], [Big Game Hunter], [Reincarnation Killer]
Level: 70
Health: 11300/11300
Mana: 4600/4600
Strength: 75 (+20)
Dexterity: 48
Endurance: 52
Intelligence: 98
Wisdom: 48
Charisma: 48 (+20)
Luck: 48 (+100)
Skills: [Examine], [Aura of Despair]
Why am I even training with swords when my weapons are tarot cards? Well, for one, if I ever have to hide the cards I have a backup weapon I''m proficient with this way. Secondly, the stat gains are absurd. Really. The amount that went up in just a month makes me want to stay here forever, if not for my mission to hunt down corrupted reincarnators.
Rorik takes the sword from me.
"Watch and learn."
He holds it with one hand, keeping it behind his back as though it''s sheathed, and then with a lightning-fast movement, the sword whips out at the dummy and splits it into two pieces, neatly down the middle.
"I think you''ve been through enough of my torture to learn a technique, lad. This one I call [Quickdraw]. Very useful for when you want to end a fight quickly, before the opponent has a chance to use their weapons."
"Sir, did you ever use this technique?"
"Lots of times. Mostly in the arenas of Clodium, the demons'' country."
"You''ve been there?"
I''m so excited for information about Clodium that I forget to add a ''sir''.
This world is divided into five continents. The first is Nymea, the continent I''m in, housing Avarron, the elven kingdom, Silvena, the human kingdom, and the beastman tribes. The beastmen have no proper kingdom- they are divided into clans, each the size of a human city. The second continent is Clodium. The country takes up the entire continent, although the continent is smaller than the others. Clodium is almost exclusively inhabited by demons, and are at an almost constant state of war against Silvena. The elves are ambivalent, choosing only to attack when provoked. The third continent is Na''vi, a continent that is culturally like a mashup of eastern Asian countries. The most prominent influences are China and Japan, while hints of India and the rest are still visible. It is ruled by the Na''vi Empire, with the ruler being an empress rather than an emperor. The rights to the throne are passed down to the eldest daughter, or if there are no daughters available, a person chosen by the matriarch. The fourth continent is unnamed, its name lost to the ages, for the residents have not left it for millennia. It is the continent of the dragons, who are the strongest beings on the planet. The fifth continent is widely known as the lost continent, and houses twisted perversions of the laws of nature. It is there that people claim chaos was first created on Aithora, and being sent there is considered an automatic death sentence.
The arenas Rorik spoke of are special establishments where people pay to view skilled fighters duke it out in a sand-covered area. The arenas are protected by incredibly powerful magic, which is now thought to be lost, that can rewind time. This means that even if one dies inside the arena, it is not true death, for your body will be restored to a point before your death.
"Aye, I''ve been there. Not a bad place, all things considered. Them folks aren''t too welcoming to humans, but that''s natural, since we''re at war with them."
This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source."What''s the food like? Is it really true that they practice cannibalism?"
"No, they don''t. They''re a lot like us, really, but with different colored skin, longer ears, those horns on their forehead, and those tails. They eat what we eat, and aside from differences in recipes the ingredients used are much the same."
"Oh, okay, that''s cool. So, about [Quickdraw]..."
Half a year has flown by. It''s hard to believe that just over six months ago I was sitting at an office desk and complaining about tax forms- now I''m a badass warrior that can swing swords almost as large as Rorik''s own [Sword]. I no longer look like an undead creature- thanks to Rorik''s rigorous training, my body has bulked up with muscle in all the right places, although it''s still nothing compared to a professional bodybuilder. I must admit, though, I cried manly tears when I first saw my chiseled abs. One thing that never changed, though, is my pale complexion. No matter how hard I train in the sun, my skin refuses to tan, which is rather annoying.
While my level hasn''t changed in the slightest, my Strength and Endurance are now both over 100, which makes me happy. I''m pretty certain at this point I can be classified as at least a rank A in the adventurer''s guild, but of course, since I haven''t done any missions I''m still a lowly F.
Name: Benedict Hammond
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Titles: [Embodiment of Depression], [The Powerless], [Monster Killer], [Big Game Hunter], [Reincarnation Killer]
Level: 70
Health: 21500/21500
Mana: 4600/4600
Strength: 127 (+20)
Dexterity: 48
Endurance: 103
Intelligence: 98
Wisdom: 48
Charisma: 48 (+20)
Luck: 48 (+100)
Skills: [Examine], [Aura of Despair], [Quickdraw], [Flurry Strikes], [Earthshaker], [Bash]
Noticed my new skills, have you? Rorik taught me a new skill every time I passed a certain milestone in my training. The milestone would be verified during trips to monster-infested areas with him, and when we got back he would provide an example on the poor dummy of the day.
[Quickdraw]
The user draws his blade from its sheath in a quick movement too fast to be seen, then follows it up with a slash containing the momentum of the previous movement.
Cost: 250MP, can only be used with sheathed weapons
[Flurry Strikes]
The user lashes out with his blade multiple times. While not very accurate, thespeed of the blows is formidable.
Cost: 300 MP
[Earthshaker]
The user slams his weapon on the ground to deliberately create a shockwave.
Cost: 400 MP
[Bash]
A simple attack where the user hits the opponent with a blunt object, usually over the head.
Effects: Stuns enemies for a duration depending on their Endurance and the user''s Strength
Cost: 200 MP
Rorik looks me in the eyes, which requires him to hunch down a little. I''m not even 6 feet tall, and I''m pretty certain Rorik''s almost 7 feet tall. I suspect there''s a bit of giant blood running through him. Explains his strength, at least.
"Benedict. You''re a fine lad, and a better disciple I couldn''t have asked for. I''ve already taught you almost everything I know, but there''s just one thing left."
One thing left? Could it be?
"My most powerful technique."
Yes, go on, please.
"The legendary."
YES!
"[Mountainsplitter]."
I''m pretty sure I came when I heard that. Oh, turns out I didn''t. I certainly felt good enough to feel like I came, though. That was a manly orgasm, by the way. How can a true man not experience the same euphoria when told they''re going to learn how to actually cut a mountain in two?
Again, this begs the question of why he''s not renowned outside of Stahl. Are there truly so many people that are powerful enough that destroying mountains seems like child''s play?
Usually, the only reason Rorik and I leave Stahl is to find a forest full of suitably strong monsters for me to kill. This time, though, we booked a spot on a caravan, which can only mean that we''re going somewhere far, far away.
"Where are we going?"
"You''ll see in a month or two."
The caravan itself belongs to some wealthy merchant making a routine run from Stahl, which is near the southern coast of Silvena, to Triptych, a city in the northeastern part of Silvena. This means that Rorik''s destination is somewhere in between, but I can''t think of any obvious places he''d want to go to.
The merchant, fearing for his life and cargo, hired a B-rank adventurer team, [The Bared Talons]. Their leader is an insufferably cheerful woman, as I discovered on the first day of the trip. She just bounced up to me, all happy-like, and asked how I was doing. I replied with a noncommittal grunt, and she replied with the correct reply to what I was thinking. I initially thought she was another mind-type like that wannabe hero, but I''d have felt the intrusion. I later concluded that she somehow got so much meaning from a single grunt. A typical conversation between us would go like this:
"Hey, Benedict! How are you doing?"
"Ungh."
"I see, I see. Well, I''m doing great! It''s not every escort mission that you don''t see bandits in the first few days. I have a pretty good feeling about this trip!"
"Ugh."
"That''s right. Bandit attacks are so annoying, especially because they''re so weak!"
"Mmmnh."
I didn''t even use [Examine] on her until the 6th day of the trip, at which point I learned that her name is Selene, 22 years old, level 53, three sizes are- I''m just joking. Anyway, I was slightly reassured by the fact that her level seemed to indicate a modicum of competence.
Right now, on the 9th day of the trip, we get to experience our first bandit attack for this trip. A group of badly dressed, smelly, dirty men with crude weapons surround us, demanding all our valuables. I decide to sit this one out so I can see [The Bared Talons]'' combat strength. I''m not disappointed.
Selene fights like a combination of a dancer and an assassin, whirling and twirling as her daggers bury themselves in vital points. Their tank, a guy named Marcus who looks like he was born as an iron wall, sweeps enemies aside with a massive sword that isn''t quite as large as the ones I and Rorik use. Their healer, a tall, stately elf named Jalin, strolls casually through battles, occasionally deflecting an errant blade or two or healing minor cuts and bruises on his teammates. The three seem to have a good team dynamic going on, and I can''t help but envy them for it.
[The Bared Talons] aren''t the only protection the merchant has, of course. He has a small squadron of personal guards, there at his beck and call, only defending the caravan itself and the merchant, and nothing else.
After the bandits all die, me and Rorik applaud, and Selene winks and bows cheekily, as though she just got done performing on a stage. That night, during supper, Rorik and Marcus get into an animated discussion on the usefulness of heavy weapons, while Selene, Jalin and I entertain each other through jokes. The merchant eats on his own with his guards, and that''s completely fine with me. I always found merchants rather too snobby for their own good. The contents of dinner are a watery stew made of wild herbs and chunks of salted meat. Because I don''t have much of an appetite, I hold my bowl in one hand without really eating it.
Feeling a rumbling in my stomach, I excuse myself to take a shit. I crouch down in a small clump of bushes, dealing with nature''s call, and then I freeze, hearing voices nearby.
"Did you drug the stew?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good. Move out and capture them in an hour, the sleeping potion should take effect by then."
It''s a conversation between the merchant and a second voice I can''t recognize- probably a guard- and the contents of the conversation make me freeze. What do they want with a bunch of adventurers an old swordsman? Slaves? Sacrifices for a dark ritual? Anyhow, it''s a good thing I didn''t eat my portion. What can I do about this, now that I know their plans? Well, I can nip the plan in the bud and either kill the merchant and his guards outright or tell the adventurers what is to come. Or, I can wait until they''re kidnapped, and see what the merchant does with them. The second one sounds like a pretty good idea, since that way I get to loot more things, like the way I handled the first bandits I met in this world.
''Mirror, track the merchant and report his location to me every minute.''
''Yes, master!''
Mirror spent the half a year mostly fighting monsters outside Stahl. As time passed, the maximum distance between us where mental communication still worked increased, and soon she was venturing out into the wilds miles away from the city. The training did her lots of good, and elevated her to level 99. I''m not quite sure what''ll happen when she gets to 100, but it''s probably something really good. Or it''s the whole cute girl evolution thing. Either way, I probably won''t mind too much.
With Mirror on the merchant''s trail, all I can do is wait for him to make a move.
Selene woke up, gasping, and immediately attempted to jump to her feet. However, the ropes around her wrists and ankles prevented her from doing much more than wriggling, and she could see that the other members of [The Bared Talons] were there, too. The old swordsman was putting up a fight, but unlike the others he was bound with chains, and was unable to free himself. The only missing person was the swordsman''s protege, that pale, silent man. Perhaps he had betrayed them? If so, that was too bad- she''d started to like him. Or was it just because she liked the quiet, mysterious type? In any case, there would be hell to pay when she caught up with him.
One of her captors laughed and kicked her in the side, causing her to recoil in pain.
"Hey, Brian, want a turn on this bitch?"
A second man came up to the first, and inspected her.
"Nah, I don''t want to have my dick bitten off. Save it for after they''ve got collars."
Selene''s eyes widened. Slave collars were something every person feared- loops of metal imbued with magic, designed to bend the wearer''s will to that of the owner. Once worn, it couldn''t be taken off except by the owner- forcing a removal would utterly destroy the wearer''s mind.
And then something in her mind clicked, and she realized that she recognized the men. They were two of the merchant''s guards. This would mean that the merchant intended to sell them into slavery- then had that man- what was his name?- not betrayed them? Or was he an accomplice?
I''m not confident enough in my Dex stat to go around climbing trees, so I follow Mirror''s directions as stealthily as I can. Destroying the caravan himself and then abandoning it was a good ploy on the merchant''s part, and would probably throw off any rescue parties that would come looking for [The Bared Talons]. Too bad they picked up a tail while doing so.
The merchant and his guards had set up camp in a secluded clearing, with the captives unceremoniously tossed in a wagon. This would be hard to pull off- I wasn''t willing to use my [Aura], and I wasn''t sure if my sword techniques were enough. Well, you know what they say- you only live once. Or twice.
Yelling like a madman, I jump into their midst, and immediately use [Earthshaker], causing every guard in the vicinity to fall over. And then I order Mirror to start the massacre.
Each guard is exceedingly easy to deal with, being cut down with a single slash. I marvel at how light the giant sword feels compared to when I first started training with it. Within moments, there''s a ring of bodies around me, and the remaining guards have either fled or are too scared to approach.
"What do you think you''re doing, boy?"
Ooh, a mini-boss looking person.
Name:Jason
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Race:Human
Titles:None
Level: 65
Finally, someone worthy of tasting my blade! He seems to be awfully confident of his own skills, sneering as he approaches me. Your level is lower than mine, you know? I put my sword back into its sheath, and his arrogant smirk falters for a second. Good, doubt whether you can actually beat me. Think that I don''t even need my sword to kill you, which is actually true. And then [Quickdraw]!
Jason is faster than I think, and manages to block my sword from cutting him in half by blocking with the flat of his own longsword. Which is about the stupidest things he could have done. One of the most useful qualities of this larger-than-life sword is its incredibly weight. When swung properly, it can break most swords- like Jason''s own. Unfortunately for me, he manages to jump back as his sword breaks in half, leaving him with half a blade attached to a hilt. Oh, he just threw away the sword and picked up two more from the dead guards on the ground. A dual wielder, huh? I suppose it would be practical if you have a high Dex stat. He comes at me swinging, but I''m not worried. If you want speed, I''ll give you speed. [Flurry Strikes]!
With that skill, I easily keep up with his swings, and his expression quickly morphs to one of astonishment. He clearly didn''t expect someone with such a large, impractical sword to be so fast. Well, too bad, fucker. I suddenly toss the sword at him, and he instinctively puts up both blades to block. While he''s distracted with that, I dash forward and punch him in the gut. Oh, my fist didn''t go through his skin? That''s too bad. He still went flying, so he shouldn''t be a problem anymore. But just in case, I pick up my sword and run over to where he landed. He''s still feebly moving, almost unconscious. I position my blade over his neck, and let it drop, just like a guillotine. Aw, that didn''t give me as much exp as I wanted. I turn and grin at the merchant, still frozen in place, with urine dripping from the legs of his trousers. I run at him, sword held high, and he closes his eyes and whimpers, and then I bonk him over the head with the pommel.
''Master, I''ve dealt with all the stragglers. How are things on your end?''
''Good job! How close are you to leveling up?''
''Almost there, master. I''m looking forward to it!''
I move over to the hog-tied captives. I thought of cutting their restraints with my giant slab of a sword, but I decided against it since I don''t want to give them multiple consecutive heart attacks. So instead I just take one of the swords on the ground to cut the ropes. Rorik''s chains are a bit of a challenge though.
"Hold still, sir. Don''t want to cut you by accident."
I pull at the loosest part of the chain, and lay it on the ground next to Rorik. After lining up the swing in my mind, I take a few practice swings, and then cut at the chain as hard as I can. The chain breaks, but I almost hit Rorik in the process. He winces, and stretches his arms and legs, obviously tired from being tied up. That annoying girl- Selene- is looking at me with inquisitive eyes, so I tilt my head in her direction. The awkward staring continues for a few moments, before the girl suddenly bows and apologizes.
"I''m sorry! I thought you were the one that betrayed us!"
Huh? There are too many things off about that statement! My biggest concern is, why would you apologize to me about your thoughts? Are you just that self-destructive, or are you cripplingly honest? I can understand why you would think I''m the one that sold you out to the merchant, since I didn''t eat the stew, after all, but that still stings.
"Why are you apologizing for something you were thinking? Thoughts are free, right?"
... Although I don''t know whether they have such concepts in this world. There isn''t much journalism, and the small amount there is is rather oppressed, so maybe not?
"Besides, it''s natural that you''d suspect me. After all, I''m the only one that didn''t eat the stew. I suppose I got lucky."
Yeah, real lucky. Is the Luck stat really that influential?
"Now that our method of transportation is gone, what are we going to do, sir? For that matter, since the people you were supposed to be escorting tried to kidnap you, what happens to the request?"
"Well, I suppose it''s a failure. But the repercussions should be light, since it''s the client that broke the rules of the request himself. I''m glad you knocked him out instead of killing him- that way he can be interrogated for the truth."
Marcus nods at the unconscious form of the merchant. For such a large guy he sure has a high voice.
"Hey, you''re pretty good at fighting. Would you like to join our group?"
Selene asks. You know, that offer''s pretty tempting, to be honest. Since they''re a B-ranked group, even if I''m F-rank I can still take B-rank group commissions, which would make it a hell of a lot easier to rank up. But I can''t join them until I learn how to split a fucking mountain in half. Splitting mountains in half always takes priority.
"I''m sorry, but I''m still a disciple under sir Rorik. I can''t join you until my training is finished. Besides, I''m just a measly rank F. I''m sure you don''t want me in your group."
Fuck, that might have been laying it on a bit too thick. What if they actually think I''m useless now? Never mind, I can already see their eyes bugging out of their heads. I suppose they''re mulling over the outrageous proposition that a mere rank F took down all the guards on his own.
"If you ever change your mind, contact us with this."
Selene tosses me a blue crystal, and I stare at it for a moment before I pocket it.
"That''s a communication crystal. I have the one it''s paired to, so when you want to contact us just take out your crystal and say ''connect''."
Handy. The fact that the activation word is ''connect'' reminds me a lot of internet chatrooms. I wonder if I could recreate the internet on this world. There''s probably some rule stopping me from making drastic advancements in technology, but fuck it.
"Thank you. May we meet again."
And so we go our separate ways, me and Rorik continuing northeast, and [The Bared Talons] returning to Stahl to inform the guild about the situation.