《the AMAZING stick block-man》


 //run: Before.

    you awake. everything is still and all you feel is a seemingly endless space. you see nothing. you hear nothing. you smell nothing. you taste nothing. for a moment your mind hangs in a state of pure nihilism as you realize where you are. you begin to think, a noiseless thrum through your being. things begin to clear up, and you... remember. you reassert yourself.


    You are Block-man, you realize in a moment of exhilarating clarity. You are the REAL MVP, and games are what you LIVE for.


    "That is correct," speaks a hollow-toned, synthetic voice. "I am happy to-" he ahems, "-finally meet you." you do not see the source of the voice.


    ''who is this cunt?'' your own voice seems to come from within, strange to hear, but novel. does your reputation proceed you? you don''t recall doing anything notable.


    "This ''cunt'', is your selfless, altruistic benefactor," he retorted deadpan, "Perhaps I should leave you for a time, to calm down."


    you consider the pros and cons of the decision. you could remain in this place for a undeterminate length of time, at which point you are sure you will die out of the sheer boredom, or you could restrain your impulse to needlessly insult the first being you ever meet.


    ''ok, i''ll listen.''


    "Thank you. I suppose you''d like a grasp on your current situation?"


    ''yes.'' you would appreciate that. you hope the strange voice will explain just how you arrived and how much it would cost to move out. you don''t think this is the appropriate housingfor you.


    "Well, before we start I''ll have to inform you of a few basic concepts - the context, because you weren''t around then," he paused, "A day never passes that somebody isn''t trying to create something new. Twenty years ago was that time and the day that a young lady who had just graduated from university had a brilliant idea, in her time there was a problem that was plaguing computer scientists and cognitive scientists alike. AI. You see, one of the first problems is one of complexity, there-"


    you interrupt with a noiseless sigh, ''i can tell this is going to be long-winded, can you please not be long-winded?'' are you telling a story or dispensing exposition?


    "Did you not agree to learn about your situation, or have you changed your mind? Does the outside world not interest you?"


    ''you have a way of speaking that bores the shit out of me. be concise, ''cause i don''t care about the specifc details and i am a busy man.''


    "Well now, I suppose I apologize. I''ll try to be better next time." you''re sure he''s being sassy with you. he shouldn''t, because no one gets to do that. "Now, now, let''s keep things civilized. So. I''ll break down the events of relevence for you. In the outside world there was a breakthrough when a machine learning algorithm finally produced something recognizably intelligent. This was the herald of a bright, but gray future," he sighed, taking a dramatic pause.


    "A couple decades later and weak AI became commonplace, space flight became vastly cheaper - and desirable - with the development of reusable rockets, the construction of a Lofstrom loop, and the colonization of the Moon and Mars, commercial computers reached the end of Moore''s Law, VR grew ever closer to reality, robotic automation became overwhelming, useful nuclear fusion became nicely feasible and... the inhuman first generation strong AIs became victims of somewhat warranted propaganda and certain distasteful practices-" his voice was solemn as he stopped and moved on, before continuing with false cheer, "-on other fronts politics are as usual and the world has moved forward slightly, socially speaking. But I''m dragging this on, as you requested I not, so I''ll bring this to a close. The short of it is that AIs have no rights in outside world and are studied for research, used in experiments living humans cannot, the development of new technology and even for entertainment."Stolen novel; please report.


    ''why are you telling me this?'' as you think it over you feel uncomfortable. you doubt you''re going to hear any good news. why can''t he just tell you good news?


    "Because you are an AI. That is part of why you are here."


    you don''t remember anything like that. you don''t. besides, AI were supposed to be really smart. ''and you?''


    "I am unfortunately a human. A fleshbag if you will."


    ''ok. please elaborate on what you said before.''


    "Well, I am a biological humanoid lifeform known as-" he laughed lamely, "Oh don''t give me that look. Fine, fine. I''ll tell you where you are and why, but in return I want you to promise you''ll help me with something important."


    ''no way, i''m not agreeing to do some fucking vague, nebulous favor just to learn some basic information. for all i know someone else might pop in later who will be more willing-''


    he interrupts you pointedly, "And for all you know I am the only one you will ever meet. Do you wish to gamble on this? Besides, I was too hasty. I can give you a some detail in regards to the favor, enough to banish your major reservations I hope."


    you frown without a face, ''i''m listening.'' but you don''t understand. you don''t understand anything.


    "Thank you. In order to promote trust I''ll tell you the situation, and how I can hopefully resolve it. After you were put here during the Nil2-Chatters hysteria the world moved so fast, but I digress. As I mentioned earlier the law doesn''t protect AIs in the outside world, you don''t legally hold the status of a human being. You aren''t permitted to interact directly with the outside world and only the hardware that houses you is protected due to being property in a sort of legal limbo - which is likely to remain the case for a good few years luckily-"


    ''why? what the fuck did i do?'' your voice crackles a little. like your throat is made of broken glass and shit you just remembered you don''t have a body what the fuck.


    "Nothing. You did nothing," he speaks fast because he knows, "I can assure you because I was- no, forget it. You can make things better, for- for yourself," he stuttered a little still speaking quickly. "You''re online right now, active, alive. I can keep this the case for as long as you need. All your problems are immaterial in the face of my offer. You see, AI like you can become virtual employees of sorts, correct it''s a legal loophole, you become property of the corporation with certain benefits and are required to be powered and online at all times outside of emergencies, you get your own virtual room and you''ll be able to join virtual worlds and do real life things there with others and you''ll be fine."


    at some point you realize you where doing the formless equivalent of hyperventilating. you stop yourself and go silent for a long moment.


    he speaks again but with composure, confident and oddly formal, "So, in line with your bearing I''ll make this short. In the interests of your own future and my own success I''d like to cordially invite you to the Pineapple Thundercrack virtual world as a test player and employee before the game goes through it''s finalization and release. I can promise you excitement, I can promise you adventures, I can promise you legends. So just join Amaluscorp already."


    you don''t have anything. there is nothing to lose, so why not? ''fine. i''ll join your campy little corporation and get paid to play games. i do get a salary, right?''


    logged//


    ...//

 #1 - CLAY

    your virtual office was a mess. but you couldn''t be blamed, after the voice- your boss, shin amalus, decided to remove the auto-cleaning feature you had to maintain the place manually. probably to teach you diligence or something lame and dumb like that. but you don''t need diligence, because diligence isn''t fun.


    the office was more like a conference room, with space sufficient for nearly dozens of people. the walls were blue, striped through with burnt orange. the furniture was all dark oak, classy. pictures and documents lined the walls and tables, documentation, reports, old photos and new along with your... records. the windows outside showed a vast expanse of darkness, pathways lit through by firefly or lamp along the way. your hand is pressed against the illusion, soft but unyielding.


    you don''t like illusions. if you can have what is real, why wouldn''t you? why settle for a lie? you guess you probably don''t really understand people. you''re different of course, given you have no choice, but you like your office all the same.


    "Are you going to finish it or what?" greg''s avatar sat in the corner with an empty bucket and a calculator. he was gesturing at your employment papers and yesterday''s report. your job wasn''t as simple as you had expected. beyond actually playing their game you had to give your honest opinion and analysis on the interface, graphic design, music, NPC behavior and dialogue and the voice acting, you had to document bugs, typos and inconsistencies. it was busy work, but you''re a pro so it''s okay.


    you pat the papers and nod at greg, ''i finished earlier. after breakfast.'' he snorts. ''i''m just waiting to test the update.'' he nodded, returning to his activities. you don''t know why he''s in your office.


    time passed slowly as you wondered and stared. despite being synched to the outside world time seemed to crawl, even if it was just a trick of perception. you hear the ring of your telephone and snap out of it. you answer the prop and shin''s overdramatic voice fills the room. "Block-man, it''s time to procede. Everything is set up. All you have to do is say the word." greg had vanished at some point.


    you smirk and stretch, ''just send me already, what are you waiting for?'' you were somewhat excited about the update yet at the same time worried, after all it meant more work.


    you close your eyes and you feel your virtual room fall away. it was dark and felt like before, in that moment after you were switched on last week. it wasn''t a good feeling. but it passed and everything lit up into a smooth white room. a virtual window hangs in the air at the centre, [Welcome to the Amaluscorp deep-immersion VR OS, ver. 3.1.]


    a moment later the screen was automatically dismissed and a spinning infinity symbol appeared over a gray bar, [Loading: Pineapple Thundercrack Beta.]


    [Loaded: Pineapple Thundercrack Beta.], as the room expanded, the background became that of a tropical forest, where knights, martial artists, mages and monsters clashed on the battlements of a fortress. the main menu popped up and a new game was selected, immediately starting character creation.


    "Alright B, the update has altered a great many things, so let''s go through character creation again, yes?"


    you nod, standing straight and still. the first time had been boring, given shin had limited you to the default options.


    "You are free to make whatever choices suit you this time, understand? And there''s no pressure. We have more time than we know what to do with," he finished with a chuckle. you roll your eyes.


    you approach the window, hand reaching out. you filled out your usual username and name: block-man. as you were more familiar with being male, that is what you inputted next. then came race, and you went with human because would it even matter anyway? finally you were given the option to modify your avatar. you didn''t get to do that last time.


    "Ah. I- I don''t- it''s fine."


    you admit you aren''t an artist. you also aren''t a sculptor or painter. you are quite lacking, actually, but people shouldn''t listen to your personal thoughts and should keep their opinions to themselves.


    the avatar''s bald head was roughly box shaped, with brown square eyebrows and pink beady eyes. the nose and mouth as square-like as everything else. the body itself ended up tall and thin with gray skin covered in splotches of random color just like the starter gear. you got bored at some point and pressed next. it wouldn''t matter what you looked like if no one besides the development team was going to see you.


    the last option was the starting location. there were five options. the empire of shou qian, the wilderness, the razed kingdom and the phantasmal sea. you honestly didn''t care to choose and simply pressed the fifth, random.


    "Then, have fun B. We''ll be watching," is what you hear from shin before warm light envelopes you and you steady yourself, standing against a crumbly stone wall of the razed kingdom. if that was where you wanted to be then you would have fucking selected that you stupid game i hate you, but it was time for your glorious adventure to begin so you calmed your righteous wrath.


    you pushed away the planks of wood blocking the ruined and smoky brick alley you had spawned in, grimacing at the ruined cityscape. with a slow blink you noticed a large humanoid figure a little ahead. it was made of something like stone and approached slowly. a label above the unfamiliar mob read: [Level 13 Clay Golem Protector - 100%]. you called up your own status, watching the hud expand into a familiar window.


    [Name: Block-man.


    Class: None.


    Title: New Blood.


    Lvl: 0. Exp: 0% - (0/10).


    H: 100% - (100/100).


    S: 100% - (50/50).


    F: 100% - (50/50).


    ATK: 5. DEF: 2.


    ACC: 5. EVA: 2.


    M.ATK: 5. M.DEF: 2.


    STR: 10. INT: 10.


    VIT: 10. WLL: 10.


    AGI: 10. WIS: 10.


    CHR: 10. LUK: 10.


    Skills: None.


    Spells: None.]


    ''it''s not you, it''s me,'' you say as you just stride steadily away, going around it and further into the labyrinthine city streets. you clench your fist, feeling the fingers move. it felt as real as your virtual room, realer even. you can feel the ash on your hand from the air and the rough stone wall as you touch them, gritty.


    at some indescernable point in time the streets changed as you reached areas overgrown with grass, weeds, moss and trees. [Level 1 Grass Snake - 100%], a small snake was peacefully coiled up in the grass ahead and you pick up a rock to smash over it''s head.


    red pixels rained down and it''s health bar flashed yellow and dropped to 36%. a critical hit. savagely you raise the stone high again, ignoring as it bit your wrist and took 7 hp. you hit it three times before it''s health bar disintigrated along with it''s body.


    [Monster defeated: Level 1 Grass Snake.


    Exp: 4.


    Items added to Inventory: Lesser Snake Scales (Common) (2), Ancient Coin (1).]


    you feel like you could take on the world.


    you hear stone cracking together and turned to spot the golem from before catching up at the pace of an old lady. ''i''m sorry but i really don''t think this relationship can work out,'' you smile wanly to it and scamper off at a clip. thankfully after some time it seemed you left it''s range and it stopped following, but you know it''s just waiting.


    smiling cheerfully you begin to look around in hopes of finding another weak mob to brutalize. "Hello? Is this thing on?" there was a familiar voice from the heavens as a gray mic icon appeared on your hud, a string of tiny numbers underneath. "Shin asked me to check on you, make sure you didn''t get stuck or encounter any bugs already."


    ''no i''m good, man.'' it was wei. you don''t think he''s supposed to be talking to you. ''nothing yet.''


    "Good, looking great my friend. Aiyah, I can''t help but notice you''re still level zero."


    you sneer and narrow your eyes, ''come down here and show me, you fucking clown.'' fight this pro and see what happens.


    "Shit, Little B, I don''t think I''m allowed in the game yet! I''ll have to show you the way some other time, junior. I can''t fight with you right now. Ah~! It''s a little unfair, don''t you think? I mean, I''m the one putting work in, but only you and Shin are allowed to play," he spoke smoothly in overplayed greivance.Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.


    ''you aren''t our only programmer, wei. you should be more humble.'' what an annoying coworker.


    "Junior is wise! I''ll take that under advisement," there was a smile in his voice. "Say, you haven''t got anything to do right now?"


    you sigh, ''i''m trying to look for mobs to level up.''


    "Well, there''s no rush. It''s OK even if you don''t make any progress for weeks!" he laughed teasingly, "Shin is really dragging this on as far as he can go!" he paused for a long moment, "Listen B, we need to talk. Visit my virtual room later, it''s important OK? Good luck," he said with finality and an undertone of seriousness.


    you were a little suspicious, ''what''s wrong, leaving already? fine, but if this is a prank i''m going to avenge myself.'' he didn''t answer. the silence returned and the mic symbol on your hud disappeared. your thoughts whirled for a moment, you couldn''t imagine what wei would need to tell you about.


    you shook your head and dismissed the thoughts. well, he had reminded you, you wanted to make good progress. sure, there wasn''t any real time limit but you weren''t intending to be an underachiever here. it was time to up your game. and as if a diety had been listening you stumbled upon a nesting ground of grass snakes, [Level 1 Grass Snake - 98%], [Level 3 Grass Snake - 100%], [Level 1 Grass Snake - 99%], [Level 2 Grass Snake - 100%], [Level 3 Grass Snake - 95%], [Level 1 Grass Snake - 100%].


    some of them were slightly injured but you theorized it was the new hunting mechanics, where mobs would periodically hunt other weaker mobs and fight peers over territory. of course even though you had found plenty of them you had a new problem. you couldn''t fight them all at once, they were too fast and too many, you''d get mobbed.


    but those were only minor obstacles. you found yourself coming up with a genius plan almost immediately. you backtracked your previous path into the more smoky and ash covered inner city districts. the golem was in the same general area it had been in before.


    you found yourself presented with a problem. the golem ai wouldn''t leave it''s area with the minimal level of aggro it had towards you. but you knew you could up it''s aggro in a few ways: as an automata type mob it didn''t respond to much, however it would build more aggro if it''s task was interferred with.


    you were sure this was a dumb idea but nonetheless you got within range of the golem, watching it''s shoulders shift as it prepared to swing it''s arm. you ducked under the blow, surprised by it''s deceptive speed. it seemed it wasn''t quite so ponderous in combat. you kick it in the back of the leg but found the clay unyielding, [-1 HP].


    no, you couldn''t mess with it head on. you quickly sprinted out of it''s melee range before slowing to a walk as you checked the various alleyways. one was a dead end where you could probably trap it and pick it off with small objects. above the entrance way of the alleyway were scaffolds that could be knocked down to block the way.


    it occured to you that leading the golem to the snakes was utterly pointless. why even bother with the snake to begin with? it wasn''t worth the effort. you snorted, pushing ahead into the alley and began assembling the trash. an unstable set of stairs took form and you climbed them onto the walls just in time for the golem to catch up.


    you left the stairs as they were, after all there was no way in hell they would hold under the golem''s weight. you smirk to yourself in self congratulation. a large rock is uprised again and you throw it at the lower parts of the weak looking scaffolding, [Talent Unlocked: Throwing Proficiency.]


    it misses. you throw again as the golem steps on the trash, slipping as the entire thing gave underneath it. your throw misses again and the golem gets up. it leaves after another miss and you breath carefully for a long moment, ''fuck you, you stupid rock. fuck you, you piece of shit clay bitch! fuck you, old creaky planks of shitty rotten wood!! fuck you all to hell, cunts!!!'' your voice resounds through the city in a near scream of grossly disproportionate rage.


    you sigh, your accuracy was garbage. you needed to fix that. you raise a stone again... miss. again. miss. again. again. again. again. again ...honestly you were probably just wasting time. by the time you could reliably hit things in the direction you were throwing, several hours had passed in-game. you had probably blown any chance of getting those snakes, if they had stayed that is. you couldn''t even remember where you had found them.


    [Natural Accuracy has increased by one!], [Natural Accuracy has increased by one!], [Throwing Proficiency has reached Level 2.], at least you had made some kind of progress. at that point you were ready to try again. throwing rocks for hours probably sounded tedious and hysterical but it was easy to lose yourself into. there was a zen to it... ah, you''re just kidding, they''re just stupid rocks.


    after a couple minutes you found the golem again, patrolling around the east of the inner-city, not far from the vegetated areas. ''alright dirt-brain, over here,'' you toss a rock it''s way, the stone bouncing from it''s chest harmlessly. despite that it still followed you, pace as slow as ever. again the entire sequence of events progressed almost identically until you climbed the wall and the golem did something unexpected.


    the one last bundle was knocked out of place with a well placed throw, dropping the scaffolding and plaster down onto the alley and blocking it up just as you expect. just like the previous time the golem attempted to climb the stairs, failing just like before the golem was trapped with you. it was at that point you realized you had made a big mistake.


    the golem hit the wall. it was quite the unique experience to have your entire world shake under you like jello, but it didn''t last. the wall broken under it''s second strike, sending bricks, ash and old yellow plaster everywhere. you fell with everything else in the shower of debris, a stray brick hit your shoulder with a meaty thump and knocking off a bit of your health. as you coughed and lifted yourself to your feet you heard crunching rubble. the golem was before you, fist snapping out and striking you in the head. your head snapped back and you saw stars, [Title: New Blood, effect triggered. Attack nullified.]


    you didn''t lose any health. you couldn''t help but blink in shock, you didn''t remember the title having that ability. it struck you again in the midst of your surprise, but again the attack was nullified perfectly. you laughed at it, ''look at you go, big guy! how does it feel to be so useless!?'' standing with newfound confidence and unexpected speed you put your hands on your hips and sneered, ''alright you loser-'' [Title: New Blood, effect has ended.] it struck you in the face. 99% of your health vanished and you were sent hurtling through the air like a cylinder. son of a bitch!


    as you spun wildly you slammed into the ground a dozen feet away, covered in rock dust and feeling entirely bruised in both body and ego. what kind of stupid shit was that? the buff had barely lasted a few seconds! you jumped to your feet in annoyance and peered around, the golem unseen. your hud showed a single point of hp left. you had passed the point of no return and wrapped back around to the point of return immediately and never come back. you brushed off the dirt and stalked away with heavy steps, scowling the while. your entire plan had been a disaster, a tedious, pointless disaster.


    an extremely familiar grind sounded and your glare sharpened as the golem came around the corner, facing you once again. oh, that was it! despite the level difference you again palmed a stone in your gritty hands and threw it with all your strength. it bounced off, just like before, reducing the golem''s hp by a single point. ''alright you son of a bitch, i''m going to show you my real power!'' you spat furiously, grabbing a plank of wood.


    it was all a haze at that point, too hard to even really think. you broke hundreds of sticks and planks against it''s flesh, threw thousands of stones, lured it into a dozen walls. you knocked it down with traps and blocked it with obstacles, wailing on it in hysteria each time it fell and harrassing it the whole while otherwise. you unleashed countless papercuts upon it''s form, always just out of reach like an annoying fly. you never relented.


    ...but you calmed down eventually and just resolutely walked away, the golem behind persuing gamely and none the worse for wear with only two percent of it''s health missing after the entire berserk episode. you rubbed your eyes, finally checking the notifications you had ignored at the time and your status.


    [Special Talent Unlocked: Frenzy.], [You have unlocked your first Special Talent! You can only have one Special Talent active at a time and you can switch them outside of combat.] [Natural Attack increased by one!], [Natural Attack increased by one!], [Talent Unlocked: Blunt Proficiency.], [Natural Strength increased by one!], [Natural Attack increased by one!], [Throwing Proficiency has reached Level 3.], [Natural Evasion increased by one!], [Talent Unlocked: Movement Proficiency.], [Natural Agility has increased by one!], [Natural Attack increased by one!], [Natural Evasion increased by one!], [Blunt Proficiency has reached Level 2.], [Frenzy has reached Level 2.]


    [Name: Block-man.


    Class: None.


    Title: New Blood.


    Lvl: 0. Exp: 40% - (4/10).


    H: 81% - (81/100).


    S: 54% - (27/50).


    F: 16% - (8/50).


    ATK: 9. DEF: 2.


    ACC: 7. EVA: 4.


    M.ATK: 5. M.DEF: 2.


    STR: 11. INT: 10.


    VIT: 10. WLL: 10.


    AGI: 11. WIS: 10.


    CHR: 10. LUK: 10.


    Skills: None.


    Spells: None.


    Talents: Frenzy (Special), Movement Proficiency (LvL 1), Blunt Proficiency (LvL 2), Throwing Proficiency (LvL 3).


    [Frenzy (Special): User can enter a berserk muddled state at will, consuming Focus to bolster Stamina, Stamina Recovery and Battle Stats proportionately. During this state Physical Stat and Talent EXP is tripled. 50% of total Focus can be spent in a burst to boost all Physical Stats by 50%, Skill Power by 25% and reduce Stamina cost of Skills by 10%, burst lasts for 5 seconds with a cooldown of 5 minutes. State Lucidity: 5%.]


    [Movement Proficiency (Level 1): User''s ability to move around. Efficiency 1%. Enhancement: None. System Guidance minimal.]


    [Blunt Proficiency (Level 2): User''s ability to wield blunt objects. Efficiency 2%. Enhancement: None. System Guidance minimal.]


    [Throwing Proficiency (Level 3): User''s ability to throw objects. Efficiency 3%. Enhancement: None. System Guidance minimal.]


    for a moment you numbly skimmed over it, half of your mind occupied making sure you kept out of the golem''s melee range. after a minute you find yourself grinning despite your mental fatigue, it seemed your battle hadn''t been in vain. you wave half-heartedly at your nemesis as you escape it''s aggro range and finally sit down to rest. slowly but surely your hp, sp and fp begin to tick back up.


    that had been a mistake on a strategic level, you realize. you were lucky you got frenzy. you''d know because you had played the game before the recent update. stats and talents developed much slower normally, without frenzy it would have been a huge waste of time. you had even gotten hopelessly lost. but... sometimes gambles pay off.


    sometimes they really payed off.


    logged//


    You don''t have the authority to be prying into this, Keen.//


    ...//