《The Ultimate Handyman》


 Chapter 1: The Witches Forest

    Thisworldisruledbyskills.Yes,that''ssomethingIcanbecertainof.HavingbeenbornbythedivinepowerofgodIdonot haveanyrealparents,oranyassociationwithanybodyinthisworld,butIdostillhavethepowerofobservation.


    HavingbeeninonevillageandonelargertownIfeellikeIunderstandthisworldalittlebetter.Firstofallthereslevels,then theresclassesandbothofthosefactorintothelastimportantthinginthisworld,skills.


    Skillsmayseemlikemagic,buttheyarefundamentallynotthesamething.Mostimportantly,whatpowersskillsandwhat powersmagiciscompletelydifferent.Maybeskillscanbeusedthroughthesamepowerthatallowedmetobebornintothisworld,I''mnotsure.Anyways,magicrequiressomesortofnaturalenergy,whileskillsarealmostlikeblessingsofthegods. Anyways,magiciscompletelyseparatefromskills,asmagicisnotclassboundinany way.


    Ofcoursethatwasconfusingatfirst,becausethemageclassdoesexist.


    Yeah,thataboutsummarizesallthereasonsastowhyIamalooser.Ihavealevel,butIhavenostartingclass,Ihaveno classatall.Inthisworld,exceptforafewexceptionslikethenobles,everybodyhasthesamestartingclass,"Peasant."


    Ihavenoclass,that''swhyIhavenoskills.EssentiallyI''manobody,completelyworthless.Youwouldthinkthatifagod revives youintoanewworldhewouldgrantyousometypeofpower,butno!Ofcoursehecursesmewithahandicap.


    Allthosefactshaveculminatedintomyowngrandreasonforwanderingintothisgiantforest.Thisforestiscalledthewitchesforest, somebelieveittobecursed.Pinetreesstandtallhereandaminusculeamountoflightbreaksthroughthegapsbetweentheleafsaboveme,butitstillfeelsratherdim.


    Theatmosphereinthisforestisthick.Soundsofbranchessnappingandfootstepsthroughtheundergrowthcanbeheardthrougheveryinchofthisforest.Beinghonest,itcanmakeyouprettyparanoid,butIcan''tbetooconcernedaboutanyofthat.


    Truly,ifbanditsattacked meI''dbedeadinaheartbeat.Ididdoboxinginmypreviouslife,butI''mnotsurehowwellthat transferredwithme.Moreimportantly,boxingwasn''tmadetofightagainstswordsandspears.Itsnotananswerofthepeasantstothearmiesofthe rich,likemanyothermartialartswere.


    MaybeifIhadpracticedKarate,orsomethingelsethatroseoutofneedforawaytofightbackagainstarmedopponentsIdbeoffalotbetter.Nottobrag,butbecauseofallthestaminatrainingIhadtogothrough,Iamprobablyreallygoodatrunningawayatleast.


    WhyamIhere,somebodymightask.Afterallthisjustscreamslikesuicide,butthat''snotthecase.Well,Iheardarumor,aboutanoldwitchpracticinginalchemyandblackmagic.Apparentlyhercraftsaresoungodlythattheresnoskillwhichcanrecreateherworks.


    ThisiswhyIamsocurious.Ifskillsarebackedbydivinepower,thenifshedoesn''tuseskillsshemusthavefoundawaytobecomestrongindependently.Awaytomatchandmaybesurpassskillswithoutthegiftofbeingabletoutilizedivinepower,that''swhatI''mafter.


    Apparentlythatwitchwasanevilwoman.Shewasanoutcast,shunnedbythechurch.Whilesomeinsistthatitwasanactofmercy,otherssaytheonlyreasonsheisstillaliveisbecausetheholyPaladinsofthechurchcouldn''tharmher.


    Obviouslyyouwouldn''thearanybodyexclaimsuchthingsoutloud,afterallthatwouldbedoubtingthepowerofgod,whichIhonestlydo.


    Ijourneyahead,buttheresnocleargoalinmind.ItsthemosthaphazardjourneyI''veeverdone.Idon''tknowwhichdirectionIshouldheadtowardsandIdon''tknowwherethewitchevenlives.AllIknowisthis;theremightbeawitchlivinginthisforestandifshedoesIcanfindher.


    Yes,goingoutherewasstupidofme,butIfI''mgoingtobeuselessallmylifewhatwasthepointofbeingrebornanyways?Right,therewouldhavebeennone.


    Ikeepventuringforth,throughbushesandovertheundergrowthIadvancesteadily.Thisforestisbig,biggerthananyotherplaceI''vebeentoyet.Notowncouldevencomeclosetothegigantismofthisforest.I''vebeeninhereformaybetwodays,advancingtowards''somewhere''everyday,withnoluck.


    ButIhaveastrangefeeling.IfeellikemaybetodayisthedayIwillseesomethinggrand.


    Whatsthat?Icanhearariver,probablyasmallone.Imustbesomewhatclose,otherwiseIwouldn''tevenbeabletohearthewateratall.


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    Ishouldmovetowardsit,refillmywaterandifI''mfeelingbravetrytocatchsomefish...Well,wewillseeaboutthatwholecatchingfishthing.


    ButIcantseeasclearlyanymore.Whatisthis,fog?Yes,I''mprettysurethisisfog.I''vebeenthroughthiswholeforest,butIhaveneverseenanyfog.Well,untilnow.Isn''tthatkindastrange?Whywouldfogappearrighthere,rightnow,inthemiddleoftheday.


    Itisinthemiddleoftheday,right?


    Ilookupandunconsciouslynod.Yes,thesunstillseemstobeshining.


    Ibecomealittlecautious.IfIhadaswordwithme I''dbegrippingitshandlebynow,slightlypullingitoutofitsscabbard, readytoslashatanemergingfoe.ButIdon''thaveone,soIjustraisemyfistsalittle.Idon''twanttogointoastanceandwastetime,afterallitcouldjustberegularfog.ButifitwassomethingcreatedbyaskillIwanttobereadytogointoabattlestanceatanytime.


    "Honestly,you''vemadeitreallyfar,haven''tyou?"


    Whatthefuck?Thatwasavoicejustthere,itwasreallycleartoo.Soundedveryfeminine.Well,femalebanditsareathinginthisworldafterall.


    ButamIreallygoingtogetassaultednow,whenI''mwho-knows-how-deepintoaforestthatyoucouldgetlostineasierthaninanymaze?


    "Yeah,itsbeenareallyhardjourney.Hey,ItsokayifyoutakethelittlestuffIhave,buthaveyouheardofawitchthat''ssupposedtolivehere?I''vebeenlookingforherforsometimenow."


    Ithinkmegettingrobbedisunavoidableatthispoint,butmaybeIcanatleastgainsomeinformation.Beinghonest,I''vebeenrunningoutoffood,soIwouldhaveprobablydiedwithinaweekanyways.Comingherewasagambleandtheoddsarefarfrominmyfavor.


    "Awitch,huh?Yeah,IthinkIknowwhoyouaretalkingabout."


    Wait,what?Youdamnfemalebimbobandit,spillthebeansalready!IwishIcouldsaythatoutloud,butIdon''twanttoberobbed,andkilledontopofthat.


    "Really!Yousee,I''veheardalotofthingsaboutherandsoIreallywanttofindher.Iwanthertoteachme,butIdon''tknowwheresheis,soifyoucouldjusttellmewheresheisIwillgiveyoueverythingIown."


    "Everything,huh?"


    Isn''thervoicegettingcloser?Thisiskindofdangerous,isn''tit?


    "Yes,evenmyunderwear.Iswear."


    Letsjusthopesheisn''tarapist.


    Ihearagiggle,averycheerfulonetoo.


    "You''reaprettyfunnyguy!"


    Suddenlyagustofwindblowsthroughthearea.Ibracemyself,eventhoughthewindisn''tstrongenoughtoblowmeoffmyfeetanyways,butitisenoughtomakethefogdisappear.


    WhenthewindsubsidesIlowermyarms,whenafigurerevealsitselfinfrontofme.Awomanwithahooded,blackrobestandsinfrontofme.Herhairisblondandmessy,frecklesonherface.Hereyesareblue,hergazeveryfocused.She givesoffamatureaura,almostintimidating.


    ThefirstthingIdoischeckherstats...Noclass,level82...She-Shesthegoddamnwitch!Yes,Ifoundher.Ifuckingfoundher.


    Ifalldownuntomyknees,suppressingthetearsfromwellingupandfromrunningdownmycheekslikemyfaceisawaterfall.


    Yes,I''msohappy.Ifshewasjustamyth,evenifImadeitoutofthisforestalive,mylifewouldhavenotbeenoneworthliving.Thankyougo-No,actuallyfuckyougod!Butforthesakeofthemoment,thankyougod!Thislife,Idon''twantittobelikemylastone.


    "Didyoureallywanttoseemethatmuch?"


    Thewitchesvoicebringsmebacktoreality.Myfirstreactionistobeghertotakemeasadisciple,soIlowermyhead,no,Itryto.Myforeheadismetwithgreatresistanceandtwoscreamsofpainsuddenlyrunthroughtheforest.


    "Fuck,thathurts."Iexclaim.


    ButwhenmymindclearsIrealize,Imusthavehitthewitcheshead.IgnoringthepainIlookaroundalmostinpanic,untilIspotheragain.Shesonherknees,holdingherforeheadwithbothofherhands.


    Well,shedoesn''thaveanyclass,sothatmusthavehurt,Iwouldknow.Wait,doesthatreallymatter?!


    InahurryIwalkuptoher,theword"sorry"continuouslycomingoutofmymouthlikeI''mtryingtomemorizeawordfromadifferentlanguage.


    "Areyoualright?Ididn''tmeantodothat."


    Atmeofferingmyhelpshesimplywavesherhandinfrontofmyface,anobviousrejecting.Butsurprisinglythatrejectionisfollowedbyanotheramusedgiggle.


    Sheraisesherhead,lookinguptomewhileshestillkneelsinplace.


    "You''reaprettyfunnyguy,aren''tyou?Idon''tthinkI''dmindteachingyouathingortwo.Haven''treallyhadcompanyforalongtimeanyways."

 Chapter 2: Spirits

    Whilefollowingtheso-calledwitchthroughtheforestIamstillinaweirdmood.I''mnotsurewhattothink,or how to feel. JustashortwhileagoIdepletedanamounthappiness,whichmightamounttoalifetimesworth.I actually found her, I''m so glad.


    ButmaybeI''mbeingabittoooptimistichere.Shelooksmature,butisn''tshealittlebitofanairhead?Imean,onourfirstmeetingweaccidentallybumpedheads,isn''tthataprettyairhead-ythingtodo?


    Maybewearebothairheads,Idon''tknow.


    "So,aboutthatfog,wasthatyourdoing?"


    I''mcuriousaboutthis,soIinquire.Afterall,thatwasmostlikelyherdoing,buthowdidshedoit?Magic,maybe.Ihaven''thadthechancetolearnanyyet,orrathergettingsomebodytoteachyoumagicisratherhard.Ijustsaid''hard'',didn''t I?Morelike,itsveryexpensive. Truth be told, I did get taught magic by somebody, for a very short time. I sought out a teacher at the last town I passed through, but I could only participate in a short trial lesson. He tried to teach me the basic magic "Ignite", which has power equal to a lighter. Guess what, I couldnt even learn that. Honestly, I felt pretty bad about it at the time.


    "Well,Iwasactuallyjusttryingoutthispieceofawindspirit."


    "Whatsthat?"


    Shestops,lookingbackatmealittlebaffled.


    "Youdon''tknowaboutspirits?"


    "No,notreally.Aretheylikefairiesorsomething?"


    Shegigglesatthat,guessI''moff.Maybeafrownisshowingonmyface,becauseshewavesherhandatmeinawaythatconveyssomethinglike"don''tmind."


    "Iguessthiscanbeyourfirstlessonthen,becauseyou''regoingtobelearningalot.Spiritsaresomethinglikematerializationsofnatureitself.TheresaspiritforeveryelementandImanagedtocaptureawindspirit.Becausetheyarebasicallyenergy,ifyoutearoneinhalfneitherhalfdisappears,butbothpartsbecometheirownseparatespirit.Don''tbefooledthough,theydon''tactuallyhaveawilloftheirown."


    Tearoneinhalf?Thatsoundsprettyextreme.


    "Sowhatyou''resayingis,yourippedoffapieceofaspiritandsomehowcreatedwindwiththat?"


    "Youcatchonprettyquickly,don''tyou?That''sexactlywhatIdid.Yousee,whilespiritsdon''tdieifyouriptheminhalf,theybasicallyrunontheirownenergy.Sowhenyouripoffasmallpiecefromaspiritthatpiececanonlysustainitselfforsolong.Whenaspiritdiesthatwayitbasicallyimplodesandreleasesthelastremnantsofitsenergyinanuncontrolledblast!Itsreallygreatandflashy.Sadlyspiritstakeawhiletoform,soyoufindoneratherrarely."


    Issheapyrotechnicianorwhat?Thatsoundslikeasupernovatome.That''sbasicallywhatitis,isn''tit?Howisthisworldstillinpieceswithselfdestructingnatureballsfloatingaround?But...Whatdoesanyofthishavetodowiththefog.Really,thatdoesn''texplainanything.


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    "Igetit,butwhatdoesanyofthathavetodowiththefog?"


    "Ithoughtmaybeyou''dgetit,butIguessyoudon''t.Well,Idon''tmindexplaining.Basically,thecoldwindthatiscreatedbythisblastcollideswiththewarmerairinthevicinity,causingthewatervaporpresenttocondensereallyquickly,andthat''showyougetfog.Itdoesn''tlastverylongandtheareathefogcanspreadtoisrathersmall,butitsstillverycool,isn''tit?Dependingontheweatherconditionandthesizeoftheblastyoucandosomecoolstuff.Itsalsomoreeffectiveearlyinthemorning,whentheresalotofdewpresent."


    I''mkindadumbfounded.Imean,isn''tshescientificallywaytoofarahead?Whatkindofthingshasshebeenteachingherselfinthisforest.Shesalmostlikesomekindofwisemonkthatretreatedintothemountainsandcamebackasanenlightenedman.


    "I''mreallyhappy."Isay.


    Myvoiceiskindofsmall,butfarfromtimid.Forsomereason,thislongexplanationaboutfogisexactlywhatIneededtohear.Shesdefinitelytheone!ThepersonIneedtobecomestrong.


    "Really?Didn''tthinktherewerepeoplearoundthesepartsthatdidn''tabsolutelyfearmetothepointofsuperstition."


    "Youknow,evenifyouwerethemostevilpersononthiswholeplanet,I''dstillbehappytohavemetyou."


    Forsomereasonasmuggrinformsonherface.


    "I''mprettyamazing,right?"


    IguessthestuffI''msayingwouldgettoanyone''sheadifthey''dhavebeenmadeanoutcastfortherestoftheirlife.


    "Yeah,youare.YouaresoamazinginfactthatIforgottoaskforyourname."


    "Ialsodidn''taskforyournameyet.Shouldn''tyoubetellingmeyournamefirstanyways?"


    "MynameisZennith.Justlikeyou,Ihavenoclass."


    "Zennith?That''saprettyfancyname.Alright,mynamesRoxanne,theevilwitchthatrulesthisforest.Also,justlikeyousaid,Ihavenoclass."


    Thewayshetalksassheintroducesherselfistotallyoverplayedandalmostdramatic.Youcouldpracticallytastethesarcasmwhenshecalledherselfan''evilwitch.''


    "Nicetomeetyou,Roxanne."


    "Thepleasuresmine,Kennith.Thenagain,havinganybodyaroundwouldbeapleasureatthispoint."


    AswekeepwalkingtowardsI''m-not-exactly-sure-where our chatter continues. Its mostly just me saying stuff and her answering me with something somewhat serious followed up by a joke, but I appreciate the company nonetheless.


    Buttheconversationcomestoanendwhenshesuddenlyexcitedlypointsatsomethingwhilealsosignalingmetokeepquiet.


    Ilooktowardswhereshespointing,whenagiantballofdirtanddustentersmyvision.Ithoversstrangely,theballslowlysinkingandthenrising.Itdoesn''tdoanything,itsimplyhoversthere.


    Isn''tthataspirit?I''mprettysurethat''saspirit.Itsmaybesixtycentimetersinheightandhasacircumferenceofaboutone,maybetwometers.


    "Letsstealapiece."Roxannewhisperstome.

 Chapter 3: A Handful

    "Whatdoyoumean"stealapiece?"Howareweevensupposedtodothat?"


    AsIquestionhershehastilyrunsherhandsalloverherrobe.Sheturnstomeandpullsoutaflaskfilledwithayellowliquid,fromapocketlocatedatherhip.


    "Yousee,youcan''tseparateenergywithyourbarehands,butthisliquidhereactsasasortofprotectivecoating.Withthecoatingappliedyoucanseparateapieceoftheenergywithoutanyproblems.Thecompositionofthiscoatingisabitcomplicated,buttheplantsusedforthismixtureareunusuallyfilledwithanaturalenergysimilartotheonethataspiritiscomposedoff.Whenyouinsertyouhandintoaspirittheenergyinthecoatingwillactasasubstituteforthepartofthespirityoutrytocutoffandenablesyoutoremoveapartofyourdesire.Rememberthatyouhavetograbthepartyouwanttoripoffwithyourhandandtonotopenituntillater.Afterall,thespiritinyourhandwillfeedofftheenergyoftheremainingcoatingandnotitsowntosustainitself.Thespiritwillberelativelysmallinsize,sowithoutthecoatingitwouldexplodeinyourhandinabouttenminutes."


    Igetthegistofit.Itsalmostlikemyhandwillbecomeaspirititself...But,youknow,thatwholeexplodeinyourhandpart,itsalittlebitofaturnoff.IfmyhandhasanysentienceitwillprobablyhauntmeifIletthathappen.


    "Now,showmeyourhandsasifyouwerebeggingformoneysoIcanapplythecoating."


    I''dbeangry,butIdidbegformoneyafewtimesalready.Honestly,itfeelslikeshejustassumedI''mahobo.Yes,Ididbegformoney,butitsimpossibletogetajobhereifyoudon''thaveaclass.Theydon''teventrustyouwithmanuallaborunlessyouareapeasant.


    WhenIshowherthepalmsofmyhandsshepourstheliquidoverthem,allofitinfact.Hey,waitaminute,didn''tyousay"letsstealapiece?"Iknowtheword''we''wasneverspoken,butitsoundedlikewewerebothincludedinthismission.Areyoutryingtokillme?Isthatwhatsgoingon?Maybeshecanreadmindsandheardmecallingherabimbo,soshesoutforbloodnow.


    "DoIreallyhavetodothisalone?"


    Shegrinsatme.


    "Scared?Youknow,ifyoucantdothisyourselfIdon''tthinkIcanteachyou."


    Damnedfemale.I''mnotsureifshesthreateningmebysayingshewontteachmeifIdon''tdothis,orifI''malreadyafailureifIcantevenmanagethis.Alright,Illdoit.Illcatchmeaspirittoday,asuicidalspiritthatmightexplodeinmyhand.


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    Iwalkafewstepstowardsthespirit,beforeturningaroundagain.


    "Actually,beforeIgo,thisthingcantattackme,canit?YoushouldalreadyknowthatIhaven''tevenleveledupyet.Ifthisthingwastodoanythingitwouldprobablykillmerightaway."


    "Didn''tIalreadytellyou,theydon''thaveanywilloftheirown.Theydon''tfightback,theysimplyexistandchangetheirpositionfromtimetotime."


    Alright,Icandothis.Ifitsnotdangerous,whywouldIbescared?I''maboxer,goddammit.I''vebeatenpeoplewithmybarehands!Idbemoreproudaboutthatifthatwasn''thowyoubeatpeopleingeneral.


    AgainIadvancetowardsthespirit.ForsomereasonItrytonotsteponanybranches,eventhoughIknowthatitwouldn''treacttothesoundanyways.AfterclimbingoversomerootsandpassingatreeI''malreadyfacetofacewithit.


    I''mreallynervousaboutthis.Imean,don''tthesethingsexplode?ButIwillhavetotrustinthishermitlady,afterallshesbeendoingthisalotlongerthanme.


    CautiouslyIreachmyhandintothespirit.ThemomentIcomeincontactwithititfeelsasifmultiplespheresarerollingovermyhand.Itsaweirdfeeling,butnotascaryone.Infact,Ialmostfeellikemyhandismergingwithit,goingwiththeflowoftheenergyinsideit.Iclosemyopenpalmandremovemyhand.


    WithintheenclosedspaceofmyhandIcanfeelsomethingswirling,althoughalotmoregentlythanbefore.Thefeelingofspheresrollingovermyhandpersists,butitssortofrelaxingnow.Itsalotmoresoft,asifmyhandwasenjoyinganelectronicmassagechair.


    IreturntoRoxanneandshelookspleased.Forsomereasonshegivesmeapatontheback.


    "See,thatwasn''tallthatscarynow,wasit?Thescarypartscomelater."


    Alright,shedefinitelysaidthattofuckwithme,butIdon''tmind.Youknow,todayIgainedmoreexperiencethaninmywholelifetimeinthisworldcombined.


    Yes,I''mstillworriedaboutthefactthatmyhandcouldexplodeanyminutenow,butmaybeI''dbeokaywiththat.Okay,Iwouldn''tbeokaywiththat,butitstillstandsthatthisisvaluableknowledge.


    Imean,ifIlearnhowtomakethatliquidIcouldcarryhandylittlebombsaround.Calculatingthetimingforwhentheywillexplodewillbetherealproblem.ButifIkeepasmallspiritinaflaskfilledwiththisliquid,Icoulduseitlikeahandgrenade.Theresalottobelearnedhereandthat''sexactlywhatIneed.


    "Now,letsgotomy...Well,Iguessourhome,shallwe?"


    BeforeIevenreplyshestartswalking.Whataweirdwoman.

 Chapter 4: One Bed

    WithspiritinhandIfollowRoxanne''sbackdeeperintotheforest.AsIfollowherthedensityofthetreesseemsto graduallyreduce.TomyrightIspotariver,mostlikelytheoneIheardearlier.


    Thetreeskeepseemingtodisappear,untilweenteraclearing.Inthemiddleoftheclearingstandsawoodencabin.Variousplantsandherbsgrowintheclearing,thegroundhavingacolorfullookasaresult.


    Itakenotenottostepontheflowers.I''mnotsurewhy,itjustfeelslikeawastetoaccidentallystepononeofthese.


    AswegetcloserandclosertothecabinRoxannestartspickinguptheconversationagain.


    "Thisisyournewhome!"


    Roxanneseemsexcitedaboutit,butI''mjusttryingtowrapmyheadaroundthefactthatthisallhappenedinoneday.


    WhenRoxanneopenstheentrancetothecabin,thewoodendoorsqueakssoftly.Theinteriorofthecabinseemsrelativelyspacey.Inthemiddleofitstandsabigtable,onitmultipleflasksfilledwithliquidsinmanydifferentcolors.Someflasks areconnectedbytubes,others arenot.Theresalsoliquidspresentthatseemtobesteaming.


    Alltheflaskssurround amessystackofpaper,theflasksstandinginahalfmoonformation.Crudedrawingsofplants aresketchedonsomeofthepapers,otherpapersdepictingimagesinacertainorder,likepicturebookinstructionsforcreatingpotions.


    Otherfurnitureinthecabinincludes,onebed,asmallcauldronoverafireplaceinsideofthesmokechamberofthestonechimney,awallshelfwitharowofcapturedspiritsonit,whicharefloatinginayellowliquidandanotherlargertable,withtwochairsstandingnexttoit.Leftoverplatesandbowlsserveasproofofaformermeal.


    Wait,theresonlyonebed?NotthatImind,butIsshereallycomfortablewiththis?I''malsonotverygoodwithwomen,soIdon''treallythinkshewouldbehappyaboutmyreaction if she made amoveonme.


    "Letsfreeyoufromthatlittlebombinyourhadfirst."


    Shetakesanempty,cylindricglasscontainerfromthewallshelf.Carefullyshetakesitfromtheshelf,sothatshedoesn''tknockoveranyoftheothercontainerswithspiritsinthem.Afterthat,shecarefullyplacestheemptyglassonthedesk,rightnexttothestackofpapers.Shetakesaflaskfilledwithyellowliquidfromthetableandpourstheliquidintothecontainer.


    "Don''tjuststandthere,getoverhereandridyourselfofyourexplosivelittlefriend."


    Isilentlyoblige.InadifferentsituationI''dsaysomething,buthertalkingaboutexplosionsreallydoesn''tmakemefeellikewastingtime.


    AfterIfreethespiritfrommygripandreleaseitintotheyellowliquid,Ifeelslightlyrelieved.Withoutreallysayinganythingshetakestheglassandputsitbackontheshelf.


    Forsomereasonweremainsilentaftersheputthespiritaway.


    It''snotthatweareawkwardwitheachother,it''sjustthattherereallyisn''treallyanythingtodo.Wewalkedthroughtheforestforquitesometime,thenwealsowastedsomemoretimebycapturingaspirit.Thesunisprobablyabouttostartsetting,soexceptforsuppertherereallyisn''tanythinginterestinggoingoninaworldlikethis.Youknow,aworldwithoutanyadvancedtechnology.


    Nophones,noTV,nointernet,novideogames.Addingtothat,literacyseemstoberatherlow,whichmeansreadingisalsonotanoption.Well,ofcoursetheliteracythingisjustanassumption,butsincetherearepeopleinthestreetsofferingotherstoreadcertainadvertsforthem,lowliteracyseemstobehighlylikely.


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    Funnilyenoughreadingistheonlythinginthisworldthatwasn''taproblemforme,consideringthatthepeoplehereutilizetheromanalphabet.


    "Areyouhungry?"


    HerquestionderailsmythoughtsandIsnapbacktoreality... (Oops,theregoesgravity.)


    "Don''tworry,I''mfine.Truthbetold,I''vebeenlivingonthestreetsforamajorityofmytimehere,soI''mprettyusedtoonlyhavingoneortwomealsaday."


    "Yourtimehere?You''renotfromthiskingdom?"


    Ohshit,Iletmytongueslipalittlethere.


    "Youknowthenearbyvillage,right?I,eh,wasn''tabletogetajobthere,soIdidalotofbeggingandcatchinglizards,andotherstufflikethat,toputfoodonthetable."


    Perfect,aliethatisalsothetruth.TheresnowayforRoxannetotellthatI''mlyingtoher,becauseI''mtechnicallytellingherthetruth.MaybeI''magenius?I''dliketoaskmyselfthatseriously,butI''mnotevenabletolearnIgnite,soI''mreallyjustadesperatemansayingsomethingtosavehisownskin.


    "Well,youdogiveoffthevibeofsomebodythat''sbeenhomelessforabittoolong."


    Seemsshefoundherownjokeprettyfunny,becauseshestartsgigglingagain.


    Whatkindofvibeisthatanyways?Alright,myclothesareprettydirtyandtorninsomespots,butIdon''tthinkIlookthatbad.Itsnotlikedirtisallthatvisibleonablackt-shirt. Well,mypantsarekindofragged,butthepeopleinthisworld don''treallyseemthatproficientatprocessingrawmaterials.Ireallydon''tthinkthestateofmypantsismyfault,thequalityofthematerialjustisn''tthatgood.


    "Okay,Ifyoudon''twanttoeatIguessI''llgotobed.Itsbeenaprettyexcitingdayafterall,soI''mkindofdonewithtodayalready.Nottomentionthatgoingtobedearlyisprobablyagoodbreakfromalltheall-nighter`sI''vebeenpulling."


    Sheexplainsthistomewhilecasuallytakingofherclothinginfrontof my eyes.Idon''treallymind, but I''m surprised that she also doesnt mind.


    "AndwhatamIsupposedtodo?"


    Itfeelsweirdhavingtoasksomethinglikethat,buttheideaofsleepinginthesamebed asherstillfeelskindof awkwardtome.


    "Coulditbethatyouareexpectingsomethingtohappen?"


    Whileitsobviousthatshesjustteasingme,thereisstillaslightlyseductivetoneinhervoice.MaybeI''mimaginingthings,butIthinkthefactthatshesonlydowntoherunderwearrightnowwouldbeprettyseductivetomostpeopleanyways.Idon''treallycare,butIguessshe''sprettyhotbyregularstandards.


    Shegotsomenicecurvesandherbreastsarealsoprettywellsized,I''dsayc-cup.But...I''mreallynotexcitedatall.


    "No,notreally.WejustmettodayandIdon''treallyknowyou.Also,Ithoughtmaybeyouwouldbefeelingalittlelesscomfortableaboutthissituation,butthenagainitsprobablybetterthatyoudon''t."


    Myanswerisprettystraightforward.SheseemsalittledisappointedfrommesofirmlyrejectingtheideathatI''dwanttodosomethingwithher,buttheresnoreasonformetolie.Also,theonlyreasonIcanimaginehertobedisappointedaboutthis,is that myreactionwasn''tveryamusing.


    "Youknow,I''manoutcastandall,I''vebeenthroughsomeuncomfortablethings."


    "IguessPaladinstryingtokillyouisalotworsethanhavingtosleepinthesamebedwithsomeguy."


    "Soyouknowaboutthat,huh?Thenagain,Iguesseverybodyknowsaboutthatwholechurchthing.Yeah,thatsituationwascertainlyalotworsethanthis."


    "Well, thenifyoureallydon''tmind,Iguesswewillbesleepinginthesamebed."


    Maybethewordsleepingissomekindoftriggerwordforher,becausebeforeIevenfinishspeakingshe''salreadylyinginbed,dozingoffintoherownlittleworld.Damn,shesmakingthatmattressseemreallyappealingrightnow.


    GuessI''lljoinher.

 Chapter 5: Resentful Me

    RoxannehasalreadydozedoffandisforsomereasonclingingtomelikeI''msometypeofplushy.Well,thebedisprettysmallIguess.I''mamazedthattwopeoplecanevenfitonherewithoutanybodyrunningintotheriskofrollingovertheedge.


    Iruntheeventsoftodaythroughmyheadagain."Todaywasthedaythateverythingchanged",IhopeIcansaythatinthefuture.


    Butthepossibilitytochangedoesn''tonlybringpleasantthoughts,I''malsorememberingalotofthingsI''drathernot.Iguessthose past events arewhatturnedmeintowhoIamnow,butitsnotlikeI''mcompletelybroken...             Well,maybeIam,afterallIdidkillmyself.


    Ibetmomsprettyhappyaboutthat,thewayshekepttellingmetodoit.Itsfunnyhowasmallfightescalatedintouscompletelyhatingeachother.Really,I''mnotevensurewhatitwasanymore.IthinkIgotmadatherfornotbelievingmeaboutsomething.ForsomereasonIgotreallypissedandstompedoff,andfromthatdayonthetensionpersisted.ShewasmadatmebecauseofhowangryIgotandthatjustmadememoreangry.Itfeltlikeshestarteddoinglittlethingstopissmeoffandeventhestuffthatmightnothavebeenintentionalfeltlikeitwaspreparedbymymomjusttomakemybaddaysevenworse.


    Andthencamethedaywhenstuffgotreallybad.IgotintoafightwithheragainbecauseIcouldn''tfindsomethingInmyroom.Iwasverysurethatshetookit,soIconfrontedher.ThingsescalatedwithhertellingmeshewishedIwasneverborn.Man,thatreallyhurt.Idon''tknowwhy,butmaybeithurtthewayitdidbecausebackthenIthoughtthingsmightfixthemselvesagain.AtleastIthoughtthatuntilshebasicallytoldmethatsheresentsmyexistence.


    Everydaywasprettyshitfromthenon,likereallyshit.AthomeallIwoulddowasfight,sonormallyIwouldjusthangoutoutside,sometimesjustwalkingaroundforhours,onlycomingbackhomewhenIknewthatmymomwouldbeasleep.


    That''salsowhenwestarteddriftingapartevenfurther.Wewereonbadtermsalreadyandthenwecompletelystartedavoidingeachother,itwashardformetoevencallhermymom.ThefewtimesIdidtalkwithherIwouldjustcallherbyherfirstname.


    ThenIstartedboxing,justtohavesomethingtodowhilemymomwasathome.IfinancedmytrainingwithmoneyIstolefrommymother.Yes,IhatedhersomuchthatIthoughtitwasalrighttostealfromher.Goodthingwas,becauseIhadsomuchtimeIstartedgettingprettygoodatthesport.BecauseIkindastartedtolikeboxingIoftenskippedschooltoattendtotrainingearlyinthemorning.


    Man,mytrainergotmadatmewhenhefoundoutIwasstillastudentandhadthenervetoshowupatthegymwhenIwassupposedtobeinclass,butforsomereasonhedidn''tbothermeaboutitverymuch.IthinkheunderstoodthattheremusthavebeenareasonformetobehavethewayIdidandtellingmeoffaboutitwouldn''tfixanything.


    Schoolstartedsendingmelettersaboutmylackofattendance,butIsimplythrewthemaway.Iwouldfindthelettersinthelivingroom,openedandleftonthetable.ThatmadeitcleartomethatmyMomdidn''tcareaboutwhatIdidanymoreandevenafterdriftingsofarapart,Iwasonceagainhurt.Fuck,Imightevenhavecriedalittle.


    IgnoringallmyproblemsIgotmoreabsorbedintothesportofboxing.Man,ItwasexcitingwhenIwonmyfirstamateurtournament.Yes,Iwasactuallygoodatit.Itwassostrange,afterwinningallIcouldthinkwas"Maybethisiswhatitfeelsliketohaveapurpose."This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    Butofcourselifewouldn''tbekindenoughtoletmeremainhappy.Schoolismandatoryandmeskippingschoolforboxingwasn''tappreciated.Iwasforcedtoprettymuchquitboxingvialawsuit.Theydidn''ttellmetoquit,theyjustarrangedcertainthingstomakesurethatIwouldattendtoschool.AndmeattendingtoschoolwouldmeanthatIhadlesstimeforboxing.


    I''dactuallybeescortedfromhometoschool,that''showbaditwas.


    ThiswasallaroundthetimewhenIsnapped.Istilltriedtopursueboxing,butitwasdifficultwithmylifefallingapartallaroundme.BecauseofthewholeescortthingIalsohadmorecontactwithmymotheragain.


    Mostofthetimewedidn''tinteract,wewouldjustwalkbyeachother.ButtherewasthatonedaywhenIgotreallyangryather.AftercomingbackfromschoolIplannedtostealsomemoneyfromherwalletagain.Shehadnevercomplainedaboutmedoingso,soIassumedthatshewasprobablyhappythatthiswasenoughtokeepmeawayfromher.


    ButasIwasintheprocessoftakingmoneyfromherwallet,hervoicesuddenlyrangoutfrombehindme.Thereshestood,lookingatmefrombeyondthedoorframe.ObviouslyshewasawareofwhatIwasdoing,butthis was thefirsttimesheinterfered.


    Shelookedincrediblysad,andwhenIsaythisImeanit.Herexpressionwasoneofsomebodycompletelyheartbroken.Anybodywouldhavebeenabletoreadeveryemotionthatshewasfeeling,justthroughthatexpression.


    "Whyareyoulikethis?"


    Sheaskedmethisastearsstartedrollingdownhercheeks,andthenshejustlookedatme.Maybeyouthinksomethinglikethatwouldmotivatemetotryfixingourrelationship.Well,youthoughtwrong.Idon''tthinkanybodybutmewouldbeabletocomprehendhowangrythatquestionmademe.


    "You''rereallyaskingmethis?!"


    TheresnowaythatIwouldhavebeenabletocontrolmyvoice,Iwasalreadyatthehighestpointofanger.IfsomebodyhadgivenmeaweaponatthatmomentImighthavekilledherinsteadofmyself.


    "Afterthesepasttwoyearsofyounotgivingashitaboutme,nowyoutrytofixthings?!Doyoureallythinknowisthetime?!IalreadyhavenothingleftanymoreandtheonlythingIfuckingenjoyiscurrentlybeingtakenawayfromme!NowIhavetolookatyougivingmethatexpressionofregret,likeyou''refeelingbadaboutthis?!Areyoufuckingkiddingme?!Justfuckingleavemealone.Idon''tcare,justdierightnow.Iseriouslyhopethatyoudierightnow.Please,justdisappear."


    MyvoicesuddenlyshiftedfromangrytoregretfulandsadwhenIstartedwishingforhertodie.Ireallybelievedthatitwasallherfault,whilenowIbelievethatitwasallmyfault.Sadly,I''mstillangryather.Shereallyruinedalotforme,especiallytheoppositesex.


    Beinghonest,Imightseemymotherinallwomenoutthere.I''mnotsureifIhatethemall,butIhaveamassivelackofrespectforthem.


    Theremightbeanexceptionthough.


    IlookovertoRoxanne,shessleepingprettypeacefully.Shereallydoesn''tcarethatshessharingthisbedwithsomebodyelserightnow,guessingbythewayshesclingingtome.


    Yeah,IdothinkthatIrespectRoxannetoacertainextent.ButImean,sheisbasicallymyonlyhoperightnow.DoIevenseeRoxanneasawoman?


    IthinkitsjustthatI''mreallynotcompletelysurehowtofeeltowardsher.Irespecther,butatthesametimeIdon''tknowifIlikeher.Yet,Ialsodon''thateher.Man, emotions are weird.


    MaybeonedayIcanlookatherandgetaroused?IthinkIreallymissedoutonthatwholeunnecessaryarousalpartyougothroughinpuberty,somaybeIcancatchup.


    AsIturnmyeyestotheceilingasmallyawnescapesme.


    Ithinkalltheseweirdthoughtsaremakingmetired.