《Thog: The barbarian》 Thog the barbarian, chapter 1 Thog woke up. Thog walks to the paladin, rather groggily "What mission today?" -Thog The paladin looks up at this 6''4 half-ork with no hair, and a massive tree trunk casualy tied to his back. He sighs. "Thog, I told you 3 times right before you decided "taking a nap in the middle of battle is a good idea", that we were subjugating goblins today, in fact we were in the middle of that "Mission" when you decided to take a nap." -The paladin Thog grins. He looks at his friend, standing at roughly 5''4 was an elf with slightly girly looks, wearing heavy full-plate for his stature. This was Thog''s best buddy much to the dismay of the paladin. "Thog knows, Thog sorry, Thog got tired, thought Tracy was having fun." -Thog "You thought I was having fun!?! I was surrounded by 5 goblin elites, and a goblin mage, were I less of a man I would have died!" -Tracy Tracy sighs. A deep, depressed sigh. "Whatever, lets just get this over with, we have wasted enough time as it is." -Tracy Thog pulls out his rather big stick with an ecstatic look on his face.If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. "Thog always ready for good fight!" -Thog The two head deeper into the goblin village, as soon as goblins came into sight one could see a rather large green blur, and not soon after flying, angry, goblins. Tracy sighed once more at the sight of flying, angry goblins, Tracy knew that their was a goblin subjugation quest, but seeing such a brutal act tired his rapidly aging heart. "Thog found something interesting! -Thog Tracy ran as fast as he could, Thog claiming something was interesting was always a bad sign and bad things were soon to follow, but when he arrived he saw over 100 dead goblins in a pile, and a half-ork holding two smaller then normal, extremely frightened goblins. "Thog found some goblin babies, they are so cute!" -Thog Tracy was stunned, not by the fact that Thog just said cute in the huskiest angriest way he had ever heard someone say cute, but by the fact that Thog found something cute that wasn''t over 10'' tall and/or breathing fire as was often the case. "Thog, put those down. We are here to subjugate goblins, not keep them as pets." -Tracy "But I found them, and they are small, wont eat much and Thog promises to take care of them!" -Thog Thog looked at Tracy with tears in his eyes, attempting to give him the puppy dog look that surprisingly worked despite Thogs brutish features. Tracy could only sigh, he knew Thog would not give up on the matter, and he didn''t find the idea of killing children appealing no matter how foul the race. "Fine, but you need to take care of them, and if they escape that is the end of it."-Tracy Thog was all smiles "Thog names this one Gobgob, and this one Hobgob!" -Thog Thog exclaimed as he raises each newly adopted goblin in turn. Tracy sighs at these names. Frankly he can''t tell them apart in the first place, but these names are awful. Well whatever, he didn''t expect them to last long, considering Thog. "Alright, well this quest is completed in any-case, best get back to the guild." -Tracy "YES!" -Thog The two start heading back to town, along with two frightened goblins strapped to a half-orks back. Chapter 2 Tracy went strait to the adventurer''s guild. Not that he was all that eager to turn in the quest, but because Thog just skipped inside, the kind receptionist is quite patient with Thog, but he was not willing to chance getting kicked out of another frequented institution. Thog having shipped in to the guild as he often did, waltzed strait up to the counter. And by strait to the counter, I meant that he literally skipped strait up to the counter ignoring anything that might be in the way as if they didn''t exist. The adventurers who just got trampled were about to say something to him, but their boss stood in there way. ?I would suggest you ignore what just happened, I am also not that happy about being trampled on but this is Thog we are talking about, and I really don''t want to see more of my underlings thrown through a wall again.? -Adventurer''s boss The adventurers noticing the name Thog started sweating cold drops of fear. They had heard stories about Thog, and if any one of the numerous stories they had heard of the half-ork that had tried to drag many 10'' tall frightened dragons in to the guild that was about the same size as the guild were true, it was best to stay out of the way. ?Thog greats pretty desk lady! Look, Thog has new pets!? -Thog The desk lady smiles, at first she was quite scared by the half-ork, especially since the first time he had a dragon in tow, but as it turns Thog was just like a giant green child. ?Good evening Thog, and what sort of pet are you going to show me today?? -Pretty desk lady ?Thog has baby goblins! This one is Gobgob, and this one is Hobgob!? -Thog Thog showed the pretty desk lady each frightened goblin in turn. ?Oh! So does this mean you have completed your task?? -Pretty desk lady She looks at the goblin children, they were kind of ugly but that made them a bit endearing. She did not personally like goblins, but it was better then most of the things he had tried to show her. Especially the goul that he had previously shown her, the goul was covered in maggots, and was chewing on Thog''s arm, not that he seemed to mind it. ?That''s great Thog, by the way, where is Tracy?? -Pretty desk lady Thog looks around, then panics a bit. Thog has left his best buddy behind. Just as he was about to run out the door, a very tired elven paladin walks in the door wheezing a bit. Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more. ?Thog! For the lords sake, please stop running off!? -Tracy Tracy steps up to the counter, and bows to the pretty desk lady. The pretty desk lady blushes a bit, she had quite a large crush on the paladin, not that Tracy seemed to notice. "Good evening Lena, I hope Thog has not bothered you overly much?"-Tracy "N... No! Thog has been perfectly fine!- Lena "Yes! Thog just show pretty desk lady Hobgob, and Gobgob!" -Thog Thog raises the baby goblins in turn, who seem quite frightened, and out of sorts as you would expect from two children who have seen their family tossed aside and been kidnapped by someone able to bash their heads in on accident. "Yes yes, in any case, might I accept payment for this job soon, as I am quite tired and wish to put up for the night" -Tracy "Yes, right away! Umm....." -Lena Lena fidgets a bit. "Yes, what is it?" -Tracy "Oh... Um the guild leader wishes to speak with you, I was told to tell you whenever you got back" -Lena Tracy sighs once again, this could only mean more trouble, potentially from Thog wrecking something once again. Tracy gives Thog a dirty look, who smiles brightly in return. "Oh, very well. If I might enquire what this is about" -Tracy "I believe he said something about a mission only you could handle" -Lena At this, Tracy sighed once more, usually these missions led to dangerous monsters, that Thog seems quite fond of. The last mission was against a lich that Thog decided to keep. That one lasted a month of discomfort for both the paladin, and the lich. At some point the lich begged Tracy to free him, and in exchange he would mend his ways, the lich currently works as a teacher at the local orphanage. "Yes, I will go see him, but do you think it could wait a day, I am after all quite tired." -Tracy "Yes, he had said that it was not that urgent, in any case here is your reward for the elite goblin subjugation!" -Lena Tracy accepted the bag, which was heavy with gold "Yes, well I will take my leave then, Thog is getting impatient." -Tracy Thog at that time was hugging and stroking a goblin baby much to its dismay, Hobgob if Tracy recalls correctly, though he can''t tell them apart that well. As they leave the guild, one could here many a sigh of relief. "Come back soon!" -Lena Chapter 3 Thog followed behind Tracy for a bit, usually Thog took the lead wherever they went, but Thog was preoccupied by his "Pets". Soon they arrived at a rather old inn, the inn was not in the best of shape, but it was the only one Thog was aloud in at the moment. As they stepped inside, a short man, with a long white beard greeted the two with a big grin. "By the blasted hells, Tracy and Thog! How blood sodding hells are you!" -Bearded short man "Very well, it is nice to see you McLaughlin, I see our time away has not cured you of your cursed tongue." -Tracy Tracy smiles at McLaughlin, the dwarf had a foul mouth, but was quite good company... Or at least the better of the company he had received of late. "Ai, why don''t you two gobshiets come in for a spell.... Or should I make that four?" -McLaughlin The dwarf looks at Thog, who is hugging, and nuzzling the two frightened goblings. It would not be the first time Thog had brought some of his "Pets" into the inn, but as it wasn''t rotting, bigger then the inn, or hideous enough to disembowel a man, he did not see a problem with it... This time. "Thog found babies! Thog names this one Hobgob, and this one Gobgob!" -Thog Thog showed off his new "Pets" to the dwarf, grinning hard enough one would not be surprised if his face cracked. "Ai, quite an impressive haul ye got there lad!" -McLaughlin Thog was all smiles once more, Tracy however could only sigh once more. "If it would be alright, would you mind if I...." -Tracy Just then, two smug looking men, barged in, nearly busting the door. They tried to push past Tracy and Thog. Tracy moved quickly out of the way, however Thog did not budge a singly centimeter.This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. "You big oaf! Move out of my way at once, before I have you, and this entire filthy establishment torn to the ground!" -Noisy human The inn went quiet. RELY quiet, and a thick fog of fear swept over the inn. The regulars snuck out the back, and those new to the bar hurried into a corner, or under a table. Half the fear came from the newcomers who know of the human that barged into the inn, he was the son of the regent of the city, who often caused trouble and regularly had people killed. The other half was left behind from the regulars that knew what happened when Thog got angry. Thog did not bother to look at what was screaming at him and continued to nuzzle the goblins in turn, which only furthered to anger the noble further. "Look at me when I am talking to you, brute!" -Noble Just then, Tracy paled and walked up to the noble, and bowed. "Please don''t let his manners offend you, right now Thog is preoccupied with his new pets, and probably doesn''t notice you." -Tracy The noble''s guards paled. They had heard of Thog before, he had dragged many dragons, liche''s, behemoths, and even a balor though town. Once a guard got brave enough to try and scold him about bringing a dangerous dragon into town, Thog simply looked sad, said "I guess Thog can''t keep you here, Thog sorry" And tossed the dragon, by its tail, out of the city, and possibly even out of the country. They shivered when they thought of what would happen if he got angry. "My... My lord, it may perhaps... Not be the best idea to antagonize this man..." -Noble''s guard "You dare tell me what to do! Humph, I will show this brute what happens when ignore a proud noble!" -Snobbish idiot noble He approached Thog from the front, and smacked a goblin out of his hand. "Let me tell you this Brute....." -Soon to be injured noble Tracy grabbed the guards, and pulled them outside as quickly as he could, after all they did not do anything to deserve what was about to happen. The dwarf ran after them. "I am going to owe you a lot, after this. Aren''t I...." -Tracy "Nah, I still have a few buildings left to use as an inn. Besides if he didn''t do it, I would." -McLaughlin Just then, the buildings all around shook, The earth cracked a bit, Windows shattered into a million pieces, a flood of running people out of the inn, and a massive roar the likes the nine hells themselves would run from surfaced. "YOU HURT GOBGOB!" -Thog Just then a rather battered noble, flew through a wall, into the arms of a quite frightened guard. The guard checked, and thankfully the noble was not dead, just... A bit broken. "Huh, the city is quite a bit less... Broken as usual. Perhaps the sod eating drakshit is learning to hold back a little." -McLaughlin The dwarf lets out a loud, merry laugh. Tracy sighed, as if to expel his soul right out his mouth. "Its a shame, this is him holding back.... Should we assess the damage?" -Tracy "Lets!" -McLaughlin The dwarf was all grins Chapter 4 Tracy lead the dwarf inside, what they found he could only sigh at. In the center of the room, is a crying goblin child, a creature 4 times his size trying to "Kiss his boo boo" and another goblin child that has fainted while strapped to his back. The Inn itself was not in that bad a condition however, the furniture was scattered all over, the windows busted, their was a Human noble shaped hole in the wall, and their were little cracks running all over the floor spreading out from where Thog stood, otherwise the building looked to be in good shape. "Thinking I might be able to salvage the building, the gremlin sucker rely did hold back, dint he?" -McLaughlin Tracy sighed, the "Holding back" was probably on account of his pets. He must have subconsciously held back on account of them. Perhaps the goblin babies were not that bad an idea actually. The other goblin baby, Gobgob finally stopped crying and is now sleeping in Thog''s arms. "Thog got Gobgob, and Hobgob to sleep, Tracy should give bearded man shiny coins so Thog can put them to bed." -Thog The place did not seem to be in that bad a condition, and Tracy was tired as well. Not a bad idea. "Ai, ill get ye all set up. Just hand over a copper and pick the room least damaged." -McLaughlin "Alright, thank you for putting us up after this whole mess." -Tracy "think nothing of it lad! Now get yer-selves to sleep, you couple a sulfur suckers." -McLaughlin Tracy smiled at the dwarf, handed over the copper piece, and headed upstairs. Thankfully, it was hardly damaged, and they quickly found a room they could stay in.Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel. Thog crawled into a big ball, careful not to hurt his new "Pets" and Tracy took a seat on the bed closest to the wall. Tracy cracked a smile at Thog, when he was like this, it hardly seems like he was originally meant to destroy the world. "Goodnight Thog, careful not to crush them in your sleep!" -Tracy "Goodnight Tracy, Thog promises not to!" -Thog And with that they fell into a peaceful sleep.
"Dammed them all to hell, I will make them pay dearly for this father!" -Snotty noble The regent just sat there and smiled bitterly, he had heard what had happened to his son and in any other circumstances, he would have had the person responsible beheaded. However, his son had not just been attacked by anyone. He antagonized Thog, and Tracy. Thog is a creature, capable of demolishing the entire capital without injury, there was even word he captured a Balor single-handedly and paraded the beast through town as a child would a puppy, this was by far not the worst of it. Tracy is the beast''s keeper, and head paladin of the all-god''s temple. If this was handled poorly, the temple could pull support, or even retaliate against the nation, which is the only reason for allowing them into the town at all. God knows how much damage they have dealt. "Theodore, there are battles you are not meant to fight. Normally I would slay anyone who dared to lay a hand on my baby boy, but their are some people, you must not make an enemy." -Regent "Humph, I will destroy him myself then, if you are too much of a coward to handle this!" -Theodore The idiot noble turned to storm off, but a shout followed him. "Theodore, I forbid you from retaliating against Thog, and Tracy." -Regent "But!!!" -Theodore "No buts, this is an order as regent!" -Regent The noble stormed off, and the Regent sighed. "What am I going to do with that boy...." -Regent As the boy stormed out of the throne room, and was making his way towards his room, suddenly a man(?) in long flowing robes that covered his(?) face appeared in front of him "I couldn''t help but to overhear your prior conversation, and I think I might be able to help with your little problem." -Robed man(?) "Go on." -Noble Chapter 5 The baby goblins woke up in turn, and looked around, although they are rather firmly attached to a sleeping half-ork with a massive smile. "The monster is still asleep... Do you think we will survive brother?" -Baby goblin A The other looks into his sisters eyes, and could see fear. He did not blame her, the monster that seems to be hugging him destroyed their village, but he had also thrown a human who hit him through a wall in his defense. "Yes, I think we might be fine.... Probably. At least he doesn''t seem to treat us badly, though the names he has chosen for us are awful." -Baby goblin B The other baby goblin looks back at her twin brother and nods. Though this monster did destroy her village, the goblins in that village had killed her mother and father in order to train their extensive magical talent, she would be thankful to the monster if it were not so frightening. "Yes, the names are bad.... But I think we must accept them, he did save us after all, broth..... Gobgob." -Hobgob "Hmm, you are right. Well, I think if we do not anger him, he will protect us... Hobgob..." -Gobgob Just then he heard his sisters stomach rumble. "You seem hungry... I... I think I will need to ask the monster.... Thog if I recall... If we might eat." -Gobgob His sister paled "You think this is wise...? I think I can hold off for a little while...." -HobgobSupport creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions. "Yes, I need to keep you alive. But I don''t think Thog will be overly angry if I ask, he seems quite attached to us." -Gobgob Just then, the monster stirred, and opened his solid red eyes. "Thog greats Hobgob, and Gobgob. Goodmorning!" -Thog This startled them. A lot and waking the elf man-woman. "Thog, goodmorning. I just wish that you would not wake me in this manner EVERY MORNING!" -Irritated elf man-woman Gobgob worked up his courage, and spoke up... Albeit in a small squeaky voice. "Um.... Thog.... My lord.... If you would be so kind, my sister and I are quite hungry..." -Gobgob Thog grinned in a HUGE smile taking up half his face, the elf man-woman''s eyes seemed to pop out of his head. "DID YOU HEAR THAT TRACY! THEIR FIRST WORDS!" -Thog The monster named Thog roared, which made the elf sigh. He did that a lot. "Yes, I heard. Not only can they talk, but in such a respectful manner." -Startled elf man-woman The elf smiled at them, it kind of made both his and his sister''s hearts beat a bit faster. "Hello children, my name is Tracy. I am quite sorry we have captured you in such a rough manner, I can not apologize enough for... Thog''s actions." -Tracy "N... No, no! He had saved us, and we are quite thankful for my lords actions. We were seen with magical talent by the goblin shaman of the village you attacked, he kidnapped us and trained us... It was not pleasant." Hobgob Tracy nodded, he had heard rumors of such things happening. Goblins raided each other often, and the shaman''s teachings must have led to such speech. He was sorry for their treatment, the least he could do for their sudden kidnapping was to make their lives as pleasant as possible. Thog was still grinning, and suddenly hugged Gobgob, and Hobgob. "You are Thog''s babies now, no one will mistreat you ever again or Thog will throw them out of town as hard as Thog can!" -Thog Suddenly Hobgob''s stomach growled, it seemed like a candle went off in Thog''s head. "Oh yes, Thog''s babies need food!" -Thog Thog ran out the door, caring two goblin children. Tracy could only sigh, now that Thog adopted some children, perhaps he will mellow down a bit, or at least stop grabbing more dangerous "pets". Just then he heard clanging, and could smell smoke.... Just then a REALLY panicked dwarf rushed into the room. "BY THE GREAT 9 HELL''S LAVATORY! THOG IS COOKING, TRACY STOP HIM!" -McLaughlin Chapter 6 Tracy ran as fast as he could towards the kitchen. Thog had only cooked once previous, and to put it lightly..... it was dangerous. The food did not look or smell foul in the least. No, the problem lies in the fact that Thog cooks so well, it can draw in not only people, but anything within a 100 mile radius, the smell alone seemed to work as lesser mind magic. It''s quite an oddity that such a brute can cook so well, but simply put, the only thing Thog really paid attention to, is food. including cooking processes. Tracy enters the kitchen, smoke rises from the crisp bacon, the smoke seems like the finest temptress and beacons him over. "Thog.... perhaps this might not be the best time to cook, their are simply not enough resources to feed whatever tramples their way over her..." -Tracy Tracy was having trouble thinking, the bacon smells so gooood. he looks to the dwarf, however the dwarf seems to have lost all arguments on the subject. "Hmm, Thog think you might be right. Thog just finish up what Thog is cooking here, for Thog''s babies!" -Thog Just then, it seems like the bacon and what appears to be two pancakes is placed in front of Gobgob, and Hobgob. the dwarf looks a bit upset, and Tracy is having trouble keeping his composure. "Um... perhaps you could cook a bit....." -McLaughlin Tracy covers the dwarf''s mouth in a hurry. "Never mind what he was saying Thog... Thog, you know the guild master is going to assign us something dangerous. We might have to let them go.." -Tracy The goblins look panicked, Thog looks lost in thought, which is an occurrence that only happens once a century to be sure. "Hmm, Tracy might be right.... Thog doesn''t want to let them go, and Thog''s babies don''t want to leave Thog. Someone can take care of Thog''s babies while Thog is away?" -ThogIf you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. Tracy looks upon Thog, this was easier than he thought. he thought Thog would at least throw a temper tantrum. Still, who would take care of two goblins? The goblins were quite civil, but the discrimination would be fierce. "Don look at me, hard enough time taking care of meself. Not ready to have brats-o-me own." -McLaughlin Just then Tracy had a brief thought, perhaps one of Thog''s previous "Pets" could do the job, the lich comes to mind. Tracy does not like the lich on principal, but the lich really cleaned up his act, and would defiantly not allow discrimination. This might actually work! "Thog, i had an idea. Why not leave them with Lazarus, he teaches at the local orphanage so he would be perfect for the job." -Tracy "This is great idea! Tracy so smart, why not Thog think of this. Even good chance to see Thog''s old buddy!" -Thog Just then, a shiver ran up a certain lich''s spine "Are you abandoning us? *sniff* *Sniff*" -Gobgob Gobgob looked like he was going to cry any minute, this pulled the heartstrings of the paladin. "No no, we are just sending you to a friend while we are doing dangerous work! We will be right back after taking care of business!" -Tracy Tracy wore a warm smile to reassure the goblin child. The goblin children were slowly carving a place in the paladins heart. The goblin looked relieved and jumped up and hugged Tracy in happiness, which further carved her place in Tracy''s heart. "Thog thinks we should go now! No time to waste!" -Thog He picks up the goblin babies, and runs out the door, Tracy chasing after him. "........ They forgot about me.... Well, might as well finish up the rest of the food, no point in wasting it!" -McLaughlin The dwarf stuffed his face with the remaining bacon and pancakes that Thog had cooked. "Shooo GOOOOOD!" -Very happy dwarf "Are you sure this will work?" -Snotty noble The noble was at the entrance of a dungeon that was hidden right under his castle. "Yes, i assure you, your doubts are unwarranted, if you can complete this dungeon yourself, you will obtain the power to defeat not only Thog, but anyone else that dare go against you." -hooded man(?) "This had better, or it is YOUR head!" -Snotty noble He took his first step into the dungeon, and the first step in his path to greatness. The noble could not help but to wonder how he had never seen this dungeon before, just what is this city hiding? Well he would find out, all in due time, first comes revenge! "Lead the way, Shade!" -Snotty noble "Right away my lord!" -Shade From under the hood you could spot a slight smile on the man(?)''s face. Only one person witnessed the noble and hooded man enter the dungeon. "All according to plan....." -???? Side Chapter 1 Slowly an elf in full-plate, wielding a giant hammer approaches a drow. Out of the corner of his eye, another drow jumped out. Tracy didn''t even wait half a second and brought the giant hammer down on the drow. he could feel the crunch of flesh as he bashed the drow, and a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Please, i beg you! Don''t kill me!" -Drow Tracy was chasing "I can not do that, i am tasked with destroying the drow settlement in the area, i must not miss a single drow. Perhaps the gods will show mercy and reincarnate you as something more pleasant than a drow." -Tracy Tracy smiled at the drow, and brought the hammer down upon her head. "Hmph, one more job complete. think i will go eliminate a few orc villages next." -Tracy Tracy showed a bright smile, he loved putting these lesser races in their place. Being a warrior was the best thing that had happened to him, he could now destroy those he thought foul all he wanted. Tracy cleans himself, and starts heading over to the local guild. "I have completed the drow subjugation quest, here are all their heads. Hurry with the payment, i don''t have all day." -Tracy He hoists the massive bag unto the counter, which puts the boy at the counter into a panic. the request only required their hair, not the whole head! "Y...Yes sir.... Right away sir!" -Young receptionist The boy puts a large bag of coins in the elf''s hands Tracy scoffs and grabs the bag off the counter, and walks to the job board. Then he noticed just what he wanted, and orc subjugation quest! he snatches the quest off the board, and marches out. He would not waste any more time in this cesspool then he would be required to After a month of traveling, and slaughtering anything foolish enough to attack, he finally reached the Orc village, time to let loose! It was hardly even worth doing, the Orcs were weak. Whenever one approached him, he would bash its head in without a second thought. At least the pleasant crunching of their skulls was present. He came upon what looks like a ritual, a human was strapped to the center of an altar, and was in the middle of childbirth. He bashed all but the women''s heads in, and walked up to the woman. just then, a baby softly landed in the basket which was prepared between the woman''s legs. He looked at the child, whose skin was forest green but where a normal half orc would have eyes like their mother, his were solid red.This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it. "Hmph, i had better kill you now before you grow into something troublesome." -Tracy He did not like killing infants, they were small, and did not even try to fight back. It would not stop him however, and just as he was to bring the hammer down upon the infant, right in front of his dead mother who died in childbirth, everything went white. "I would not do that if i were you." -Ghostly figure Tracy could finally see again, he looked around and saw nothing but a white room, but in the center of the room was a figure in full-plate, however he could not quite see the figure, it was as if the room itself was wrapping around the figure. "Who are you to order me around, and more importantly, why did you stop me?!!?" -Tracy He was irritated to say the least, but the figure just chuckled. "My name is Yggdrasil, but i go by many names. The world tree, the over-god, the all-god, the father of the world. All these and more. as for why i stopped you, it was for a simple reason. The child was not meant to die by your hands." -Yggdrasil Tracy scoffed, this was the world tree? Preposterous, the world tree did not want anything to do with mankind, let alone a half-orc infant. simply preposterous. "And how do i know you are the world tree as you have said?" -Tracy Yggdrasil was getting tired of this pompous fool, this was why he hated sentient races. Well, might as well have a bit of fun with this. Yggdrasil pointed at Tracy, and suddenly Tracy started shifting in shape. He had turned into a fish, a chicken, a dog, a donkey, a basilisk, a dragon, a behemoth, a beholder, and more, over 100 shapes in just but a moment. "Fine! Stop, i got it!" -Tracy Tracy finally believed he was defiantly dealing with the world tree, and more importantly, shifting that many times was making him get really sick. Tracy returned to his own form "Thats better, now back to the child. This child is special, if raised right, he will become the savior of the world, if raised wrong, he will destroy it instead. And now that we have gotten to the heart of the matter, i have a request for you. Raise this child as your own," Yggdrasil "What!?! Why should i do something as annoying as that, get someone else to do it!" -Tracy Yggdrasil laughs "Well, i admit that this is quite annoying, and he will probably destroy more than his fair share of whatever he touches. But i will make a deal with you, Your soul is close to being stolen by darkness. If you do this task for you, i will redeem your soul, and i will make sure you have a nice afterlife. Hell i will even make you my paladin, you would be the first paladin of the world tree!" -Yggdrasil "He will destroy whatever he touches? What the hell, why should i have to deal with the little thog" -Tracy Tracy in his frustration bit his tongue, but the over-god smiled brightly "Little Thog? I like it! That''s an excellent name, thanks for accepting my request!" -Yggdrasil Just as Tracy was about to complain again, he was sent back. "Take good care of him, my new paladin, we will talk again!" -Yggdrasil Tracy looks down at the child and sighs, the first of many. "Guess i am taking care of you, brat." -Tracy He picks up the child, and it has a happy smile on its face. It was kind of cute, despite the demonic eyes. Baby Thog hugged Tracy. His cold heart melted a bit. Perhaps this would not be that bad after all. "Well Thog, i guess we should get going. I don''t feel conformable holding an infant right next to his dead mother." -Tracy He holds Thog over his shoulders, and suddenly he feels something warm trickle down the gape in his armor. Thog just urinated on him. Tracy sighs, this was going to be more trouble than it is worth, but no point angering a god able to disintegrate him with a thought. Well whatever, might as well head off. And that was the start of how Tracy would become the keeper of the beast, and the savior of the world. Chapter 7 A half-orc barbarian, an elf paladin, and two goblin babies soon arrive at a rather broken down orphanage. That is to say broken down compared to the other buildings in town, for an orphanage however, it was in quite good shape with only a few broken windows, and a cracked stair. A lich who happened to be teaching at the time, glanced out the window and what he saw made blue droplets of pure mana drip down his face. "Oh god.... OH GOD! Maste..... er Thog is here!" -Very frightened lich "B...but, i have been good, I... I started teaching orphans! I BRUSH MY TEETH NOW!" -Extremely frightened lich "um... Teacher Lazarus? What''s wrong teacher?" -Little girl As if being slapped with a rather large fish, he looks at the child and smiles... sort of. he doesn''t have cheeks so its a bit hard to tell. "My dear, it''s just that a..... friend, has come to visit. one i would much rather they didn''t..." -Lazarus The little girl tilts her head at the lich, at first he was scary, but after awhile he became like a father to the children. "They don''t sound like good friends...." -Little girl "I assure you, they are not. however i owe... one of them, my life." -Lazarus just then, the building shook. "Buddy! Thog has come to visit!" -Thog The mana droplets are now pouring off of the lich. "um.... if you will excuse me for a bit children.... If i take too long, Thog might.... *Gulp* think i am playing hide and seek" -Lazarus
"I wish you would not shout all the time." -Tracy Thog just sits there ignoring tracy, petting Gobgob, and Hobgob. Gobgob looks quite annoyed, but Hobgob looks quite into it. Just then, a lich with blue droplets are pouring off of him "Greetings Tracy.... Thog.... What can i do for you today?" -Lazarus "Look buddy! Thog has babies!" -Thog The lich looks pale... well paler anyways, also extremely baffled. "Are... Are they yours?" -Lazarus Tracy looks like he is half between laughing and vomiting. "Oh gods no! No, no, no! Thog found these two children on a raid of a goblin elite village. Besides, i doubt any woman alive would favor Thog enough for that." -Tracy (Foreshadowing) "Yep, Thog found Thog''s new babies! But Thog is going on dangerous mission, cant risk Thog''s babies getting boo boos" -Thog The lich looks at the two goblins, he would think them cute... if they didn''t look a bit too much like Thog. "Yes, i can take them on, but are you sure you want them here? will they be able to keep up with the curriculum?" -Lazarus Lazarus knew that goblins are... for lack of a better word, quite stupid. He would not discriminate against any child, no matter how Thog-like. But he did not want to train them away from the rest of the children, to do so would be too cruel. If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. "Um... we will do our best mr teacher... We like learning!" -Hobgob "Yes, we will do our best sir!" -Gobgob The lich gasped, these children were not only smart, but quite polite! Defiantly children worth teaching! "Yes, as you can see they are quite intelligent, in fact, they also have quite a bit of magical potential if i remember right." -Tracy Once more, Lazarus gasped, he could teach magic! He had always wanted an apprentice, and had wanted to chose one from the orphans but none had any magic sense to mention. This was his big chance! "Yes of course, i will even make them my apprentices if you would like!" -Lazarus "Thog agrees with you, teach Thog''s babies to be strong, and blow up stuff!" -Thog Tracy sighs, this was all he needed, children who could "Blow things up." Still, it couldn''t be any more destructive then Thog is normally, and magic is quite handy. "Hmm, well i think this would be suitable. What say you children? This is your future we are talking about" -Tracy The goblins look at eachother and nod. "Yeah! we have always wanted to learn magic normally, or at not get whipped for failing..." -Gobgob The lich looks at the children who have gone through so much with tears in his eyes... or is that more mana droplets? Hard to tell. "Alright, its official then! -Lazarus Just then, Thog rushes over to the lich and gives him a huge hug, a huge painful, bone shattering hug. The lich lay in shambles on the floor, in his excitement he forgot one of the people in the room was Thog... "Time to go on mission, Thog leaves Thog''s babies to Thog''s buddy! Bye bye Gobgob, and Hobgob! Be good, Thog will miss you!" -Thog Thog runs over to the children and kisses them on the cheek in turn, it left slobber on their cheeks and then ran out the building. "Yes, we will be leaving, goodbye children. be good, and thank you Lazarus" -Tracy The paladin ran after the green blur shouting "Slow down Thog! Thog, don''t just run over people! GET BACK HERE!" The children look down at their new pile of teacher. "Yes.. um, could you please help me reassemble myself children?" -Lazarus
Hi, this is the author, thank you for reading! i can''t say how happy i am to have people interested in my story! In anycase, if i could please ask you leave me a post, or review, i would love to see how you like it, even if its just to tell me how bad a job i am doing, i am always open to criticism! Thank you! chapter 8 Blood splattered the noble as he sunk his sword into another man-eating frog. This was peasant work, all this blood was staining his noble visage! This had better be worth the effort as shade said it would be, or their would be hells to pay! "How much farther is it shade, i am tired of all this blood. It smells, and is soaking into my boots!" -Snotty noble just then, he had entered a huge room, it kind of looked like a cave mixed with a temple. there was a huge statue on each side of a huge door, where a huge goblin stood guard. Well, it was the size of a human and that is pretty dammed big for a goblin at least. The goblin smirked at his, and held his big stick with a gem above his head. How dare a lowly goblin smirk at him! "Do be careful my lord, he looks to be a mage!" -Shade The noble scoffs, who cared what the goblin was. The stupid creature probably couldn''t hurt him even with magic. He thought wrong. The goblins staff glowed and suddenly the noble flew up in the air, and was bashed unto the floor. Repeatedly. "Fight!.... Fair!.... You!...." -rag-doll Noble Just then, shade pulled out a crossbow, and threw it to the noble "My lord, catch this! use it to kill the goblin!" -Shade The noble caught the crossbow, aimed and fired. He hit! Dead center! but of course he did. he was a proud noble after all! He fell to the ground, and dusted himself off. he had a quick thought, if shade had a crossbow, why did he not just shoot? Well he probably did not want to steal the glory from the proud noble, as he well shouldn''t. "Ha, killed the blasted thing! now on to the lower floors. How many are their left anyways?" -idiot Noble "Just 99 left my lord!" -Shade The noble just shouted in rage. "HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLSSS!" -Noble
Thog strides into the adventurer''s guild as usual. right over the adventurers, as usual. "Dont do it, you will regret it. That person is Thog." Adventurer''s boss The adventurer had had enough, this was the day he finally said something to him! The adventurer walked right up to Thog, and just as he was about to tell him off royaly..... The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. "Aww... little man look sad, Thog will give you a hug!" -Thog One could hear a sickly crunching sound, even out side of the guild. after Thog said something about the man looking happier and marched up to the desk "Told you so." -Adventurer''s boss "*Groan*" -Broken adventurer. "Thog greets the pretty desk lady!" -Thog The desk lady smiles at Thog, at first she noticed that Thog no longer had the goblin children with him today. Well, Thog''s "pets" often ran away anyways. "Ahh, Hi Thog, where is Tracy?" -Lina Just then, a ragged elf in full-plate huffed inside. "Thog! How many times do i have to tell you, don''t run off! Also, stop stepping on people, its rude!" -Tracy Thog just smiles at him, this vacant smile just told Tracy it was not worth trying to scold him as he was not really paying attention anyway. "*Sigh*, well.... how are you Lina? "-Tracy She blushes, not that Tracy noticed. "oh... um i am doing fine.... Are you here for the guild master''s request?" -Nervous Lina "Yes actually, we have just dropped off the goblin twins with an old... "Friend" so we would like to request an audience with her." -Tracy "Ah yes, you may head back. she is expecting you!" -Lina Tracy sighed. he was not good with this woman, for more reason then she kept sending him on deadly mission after mission. "Thog will go great the lady with tasty snacks!" -Thog "Thog no! Dont eat anything she gives you. Thog, listen to me!" -Tracy Thog was already nearly stampeding he was over, he loves this ladies snacks, even if they made him itchy, or glow for awhile. The pretty desk lady sighed, she had wanted to talk to Tracy more. Well, perhaps later then. Thog rushed inside the guild master''s office, siting there was an elf who looked no more then twenty, with golden hair, and bright blue eyes. She had quite the bombshell body, and the looks to go along with it. However, Thog was not interested in the lady, but her snacks. The lady smiled sweetly and held a plate of cookies "Thog, come here, i have snacks for you!" -Guild leader Chapter 9 "Good morning children, i am quite pleased to introduce you to two quite interesting children! If you would please tell us a bit about yourselves?" -Lazarus The children went wide eyed for a second, some with fear, some with hatred, and others with curiosity. These "Children" looked like goblins, the monsters that mothers would tell children would nab them if they were not good. Well, if half the children here even had parents. "Yes sir. My name is Gobgob, as you can see i am a goblin, but i hope this would not be an issue. I like to read, and my role model is Thog." -Gobgob Lazarus went pale for a second, and so did the children. Did Gobgob just say Thog was his role model....? The children went pale for an unrelated reason, everyone in town knew of Thog, there were rumors of him bringing dragons, balors, and even the teacher was dragged in here by Thog. Some even said that Thog was the secret ruler of the town with the help of his elven minion, ruling with an iron fist not even the Regent could stop. "Um... My name is Hobgob, i like cooking, cleaning, and practicing magic. I dont really have a role model, and my dream is to someday become a house wife. *Blush*" -Hobgob This shocked the children, this goblin was a bit too normal. Well except the part about practicing magic, everyone could practice magic, but it was really boring and full of technical talk. "Very good children, why dont you sit next to Jane?" -Lazarus A little girl smiled and waved at the goblin children, the children took a seat right next to the girl. "Hi Gobgob, and Hobgob! My name is Jane, i hope we can become friends!" -Jane "Like wise" -Gobgob "Yes, i hope we become friends as well!" -Hobgob The children smiled at each other. "Yes, yes. now if you would please pay attention, i am about to start class!" -Lazarus The lecture was interesting to the children and the two kept excellent notes on the subjects, however the other children looked bored, few rather almost fell asleep. Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere. Soon, it was lunch break. The children were quite enthusiastic, the goblins were a bit disappointed tho. During lunch, a snotty looking child with two following behind him walks over to the goblins. "Well if it isn''t a couple goblins, what are you even doing here. My dad told me that goblins were stupid pests only worth stabbing with a sword." -Snot nosed brat. The goblins looked at Jane with a puzzled look on there face "I thought everyone here was an orphan?" -Gobgob "Oh, Mr. Lazarus opened the school to all children of the city." -Jane "Stop ignoring me, you little shits!" -Idiot brat The snot nosed brat slapped Hobgob in frustration. The girl layed on the floor and began crying. "Ha, that will teach you to ignore people when they are talking to you!" -Snot nosed kid "umm... you just hit a girl!" -brat''s follower "And i will hit another one if you dont shut up!" -Idiot brat Gobgob was infuriated, more so then he had been in his entire life. "What would Thog do in this situation?" the goblin asked himself. Actually, he knew exactly what Thog would do. The boy started glowing with red energy. "Wha... What the hell are you doing!" -Soon to be injured brat Lazarus was calmly drinking tea in his office when he heard a crash. he also saw a certain snot nosed brat fly through his office and land on the couch in front of him. This startled him a bit. He peered through the small boy shaped hole in the wall and saw a goblin on the ground crying, and another covered in magical energy. "Could you please come to my office Gobgob, and Hobgob?" -Lazarus Gobgob paled a bit, and Hobgob stopped sobbing, but she still had tears running down her face. "Yes sir...." -Gobgob "Yes sir....*snif*" -Hobgob Chapter 10 Thog ate a good cookie. Thog''s back is itchy. Thog not feel so good. Thog should not have eaten strange cookie..... Thog has wings now! "Well that is different!" -Guild master Tracy walks into the room and pales at what he saw, Thog has giant dragonfly like wings now! "What the hells Tera! What in Yggdrasil''s name is going on here! What the hell did you feed Thog THIS time!" -Tracy Tracy was rather angry, this preposterous woman keeps feeding Thog strange things. Now he has wings! The lady looks amused "Now Tracy, there is no call for cursing, especially in your gods own name. I just happened to feed Thog a cookie with a few... Magical ingredients. no need for alarm." -Tera "Thog can fly now!" -Thog The green giant flapped his giant wings and managed to get a foot off the ground "Great. He can FLY now! Do you have any idea how hard it is to not get him to chase after dragons when they fly away?!? Now he can just fly after them!!!" -Tracy The paladin takes a deep breath to calm himself down.... "Please tell me this is not permanent..." -Tracy Thog flew around the room, scattering quite a few papers around. The lady smiled at him innocently "Um... i am not entirely sure. Its possible he could stay this way his entire life.... But speaking of dragons...." -Tera "No." -Tracy She gives him a pouting face "You didn''t even let me finish..." -Tera Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. The paladin sighs. "I am 449 years old, way past the time when i am swayed by a pretty face. Your pouting face does nothing to me." -Tracy The lady pouts for a minute more, which only causes Tracy''s eyebrow to raise. "Oh fine, you old fart. No fun at all. In any case, i need you to go and take care of a dragon that has been rampaging around the capital. It pays well." -Tera "I already said no, you know how Thog gets about dragons." -Tracy Thog stops flying for a bit, for a second, he almost heard his favorite word. "You are the only ones close enough to dispatch. Becides, i happen to think you are quite proficient at dragon subjugation." -Tera Thog confirmed it, his favorite thing! The giant cuddly lizards he was so fond of. "Thog want to go, Thog want to go!" -Thog Tracy sighs. Thog was pouting, and while the lady had no effect, Thog''s pouting sent a bit of pain in the paladin''s heart. "Ugg. Fine! Whatever, we leave now. Best to get this over with!" -Tracy Thog''s eyes lit with excitement! "YAY!" -Thog The guild master bats her eyes at Tracy "Perhaps when you get back, you can come and keep my bed warm." -Tera "Not a chance." -Tracy The two headed downstairs Tracy could almost swear he heard "Idiot" coming from the room behind him. "Well, lets get this over with." -Tracy "YES!" -Thog Chapter 11 Thog is bored. Thog is REALLY bored. "Tracy, we there yet?" -Thog "For the 100th time, no Thog!" -Tracy .......................................................... ........................................................................................... .................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................... Thog is bored. "Tracy, we there yet?" -Thog "..... considering the dragon in the middle of destroying a poor flock of sheep, i would say so Thog." -Tracy "YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!"-Thog Thog grabs his trusty stick off of his back and merrily charges twords the dragon. ............... Tracy sighs as Thog stops charging. Thog turns twords Tracy with giant upturned eyes "IT''S SO CUTE! CAN I KEEP IT?!?" -Thog "NO THOG!" -Tracy "But Tracy!" -Thog "NO THOG!!!!" -Tracy Thogs eyes grow even bigger seemingly taking up half his face, and is now on the verge of tears. The dragon for some reason stopped what it is doing and is staring at the two. "Please!?!" -Thog "NO!!!!! This happens every time Thog, i wont let you drag another dragon arround!" -Tracy "But tracy, its adorable! I have never seen something so cute!" -Thog Thog crys a bit. The dragon''s eyes are sparkling.... "Dammit Thog. Fine. Just catch it or something. Suddenly the dragon is covered in magic , and starts shrinking. In its place is a large busty woman, with red scales covering her body as clothing. "Is what you said true... do you really think i am cute?" -Dragon lady Thog is quite startled. He jumps up and down "Yes, lady dragon is SOOO CUTE! Look Tracy, dragon is now lady size!" -Thog The dragon lady blushes, Tracy is baffled. Extremely so. "Um, don''t take this the wrong way but can i challenge you to a fight?" -Dragon lady "Hmm? Why dragon lady want to do that?" -Thog ".... Well i couldn''t help overhear. you said you wanted to... keep me, but i can''t let someone "own" me without them being stronger than me." -Dragon lady "Tracy! Can i?!?" -Thog Tracy sighs, a rather deep sigh. Dragons can''t even transform until reaching adult age, the number of adult dragons is actually extremely rare, she was just eating someone''s poor sheep... and to top it off, he feels the lady is misunderstanding Thog''s intentions. But whatever, at least this has the chance of a semi-peaceful ending. This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience. "You know what.... Fine, do whatever you want. I am going to go take a nap under that tree as you kept me up all night asking whether we have reached our destination, just wake me up when it''s over"-Thog "YAY!" -Thog ".....Are you ready?" -Dragon lady "Thog ready!" -Thog Thog rushed over with his massive tree trunk, and in one swat the now fully dragon lady flies about 50''. She charges over and while still battered, takes a deep breath and releases a torrent of flames. Thog is bathing in this fire, and is actually rather comfortable. He takes another swat at the dragon lady with his now slightly burning stick. The lady dragon flies another 50'' while she was still flying from the impact, Thog runs after her, leaps in the air and takes a mighty swing of his mighty tree trunk downward and impales the dragonesse into the ground. alittle battered, the lady dragon climbs out of the ground, in human form. "I give up. From this moment onward, i only belong to Thog." -Dragon lady "YAY! Dragon lady mine now! Tracy you hear that!"-Thog Tracy lifts an eyebrow as he sat under a tree. Well it was as expected, but Thog could at least made a bit less collateral damage. "Well done Thog, let''s go report to the guild master." Tracy The dragon lady is blushing from head to toe. "Yes tracy!" -Thog Thog rushes over and grabs the dragon lady and is holding her in the princess carry position. "Thog.... this is a bit sudden, please let me steal my heart! AHH!" -Dragon lady Thog is now running full speed towards the guild, eager to show off his new pet to the guild master and his babies. The dragon lady is looking quite panicked, she as a dragon is use to flying at a fast pace, but he is in fact dwarfing that speed. not only that but he doesn''t even look like he is breaking a sweat. This made her respect and love Thog even more as dragons are naturally attracted to individuals stronger than themselves. Tracy is now far behind Thog. "*Sigh* well i best hurry along." -Tracy Tracy starts running at top speed while wondering how much trouble Thog could cause. This thought did not bode well for Tracy. Side chapter 2 The paladin sits on the ground, holding his head in a major headache. "Mah goo!" -Thog It finally happened, Thog has started to walk. The paladin is almost in tears, sure the baby is a bit cute, but once it starts walking, it''s all downhill from here. "Thog, stop wandering around. Sit still for god''s sake!" -Tracy "Gah." -Thog The past year has been awful for the paladin, the little monster thankfully never needed milk, but it eats at a rate that baffles him. Suddenly it got really quiet. Quiet is a nice thing, but for the paladin, it did not exist. "...... Thog?" -Tracy Panic struck in. "Thog!" -Tracy "Roar!" -???? Suddenly Tracy heard a loud roar.... That was not Thog, he had heard many a wierd noises from the monster, but not roaring. "ROAR!" -???? And it''s getting louder. "Gah! Where the bloody hells is Thog!" -Tracy He wandered around and still could not find Thog. He did find something he had rather not. A big, Black, Basilisk. This is bad, Tracy is good at killing monsters, it is something he is rather proud of, but this is in a league of its own. Suddenly he caught a glimpse of something green on top of the massive beast. "Oh god! THOG, GET DOWN FROM THERE!" -Tracy "Gah!" -Thog The damned little monster is riding a much bigger monster. It''s petting it! The black beast had had enough, and charges at Tracy. Tracy in the nick of time dodged the basilisk in the nick of time. He raised his shield to block the sight of the beast''s head as it is well knows that looking into it''s eyes can turn one into stone. "Waaaa!" -Thog "*Sigh* Well, at least someone is enjoying this! Dammit Thog, get down from there!" -Tracy The basilisk is enraged at this point, bucking and charging. He clawed at the paladin, but the paladin bashed its claw away with his sword. "Dammit!" -Tracy He slashed at the beast, while channeling holy power into the sword. He stopped himself mid-slash, if he killed the beast, it might topple onto Thog and kill him. "Dammit Thog!" -Tracy "Gah!" -Thog Suddenly the beast had the paladin cornered against a tree. He got ready to bite the paladin in front of him. Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. "So this is how i die. Well, i guess i did serve my promise to an extent so hopefully i will get to enjoy a peaceful afterlife." -Tracy Just as the beast''s maw was closing in on the paladin, suddenly he saw a green blur slide down the front of it. "Thog!" -Tracy "RAH!" -Thog Thog smacked the monsters mouth, suddenly it did a nosedive as if hit by a massive hammer. "Gah!" -Thog The little monster charged the thing and backhanded it into a tree. "Thog, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!" -Tracy The little monster just flashed his usual vacant grin, and turned back to the basilisk. He grabbed it by the face with his tiny green arms, and kept its mouth closed. Then he glared directly at its eyes. "Thog, NO!" -Tracy However contrary to Tracy''s expectations, something surprising happened. Not only did Thog not turn into stone, but the beast stopped struggling. The beast seemed to understand it was outmatched, and lowered his head after Thog let go. "....." -Tracy The paladin was dumbfounded. Then the little green monster climbed back on top of it, and was riding it arround like a horse. The basilisk walked up to Tracy and stopped. "Gah." -Thog The basilisk lowered his front end. The baby was looking with big bright eyes. "..... We can''t keep it Thog." -Tracy The baby started crying. "No... Don''t do that! That beast nearly killed me, It''s too dangerous Thog!" -Tracy "WAAAAAAAHHHHH!" -Thog The monster was crying. The paladin has killed many an evil race while they cried, he felt nothing at that time, but this child''s tears hit him deep in his heart. "FINE! Fine, just until we enter town, after we need to set it free." -Tracy The baby immediately cheered up. He often wondered how this one year old understood what he said even though it could not talk, but he gave up on finding any answers about Thog a long time ago. Well, the little monster did save his life, so he can''t say much in anycase as the baby is definitely more dangerous than the basilisk. The paladin sighed, well best start heading back. An exhausted paladin, a tamed basilisk, and a giggling baby half-orc walked down the long road towards town. Volume 2, chapter 1 Sry for my long absence, i have been busy at work for quite awhile, and have not had the time to do much. Well, i was not just working! Alas i was out planning what i would do next for this little story, without further ado, i will let this story do the talking! Enjoy! P.S. i am still looking for an editor, to help me piece together this messy child :D
"Thog my dear, it is time!" -???? "Thog will destroy nasty god for Thog''s pretty lady!" -Thog "Can''t you give it a rest! I have been dealing with your damned pet talk for over an hour!" -Tracy Tracy sighs "Big door! It is time for Thog to punish nasty god, kill God''s babies, like god killed Thog''s!" -Thog Thog rammed his shoulder into the massive 20'' door, and smashed it as if it were made of paper "Oh Thog, I love that brutal strength of yours, almost like the day we met" -???? The mystery lady blushed "Enough! Thog, we should have planned this out better, this isn''t like all the damned balors you keep killing, this is a GOD for crying out loud. *Sigh* well, it''s a bit late now." -Tracy *Loud rumbling* "Hmph! You DARE enter my throne, you kill my children, you kill my wife, and dare to stand against ME, A GOD!!!! YOU WILL DIE!" -Nasty god Just then Thog rushed the god, and grabbed it by the scruff of his neck without even giving him a chance to react and started swinging him around the room by his overly long hair. Thog released him, and he crashed into a wall, making a rather nasty god shaped hole. "Thog beat you! Thog win, nasty god!" -Thog Tracy let loose a sigh, wasn''t this meant to be a god? And in a single hit! "Buahahaha! Pathetic! I even let you have the first attack, and this is all you could do?!?!?!" -Nasty god Just then a wave of magical energy flooded the area pushing the three of them to the floor and held them there, the raw magic burning their skins. "Just.... give me a break..... HOLY AURA!" -Tracy Just then a massive white light surrounded them and dissipated the dark magic as if it were non-existent Tracy lunged at the god, sword drawn, and swiped at him "Hah! It seems one of you has more than blunt force, come!" -Nasty god The god then pulled out a sword as black as night, pulsing with red bloodthirst. The two then proceed to swordfight, one wielding a sword of pure darkness, another filled with the life of the world tree Cross, parry, parry, slash, cross, it seemed the pattern repeated, and repeated, each strike filling the room with chaotic energy as the two opposing forces conflicted. Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit. "Yay! Gettem Tracy! Thog roots for you!" -Thog "Dammit, instead of watching, why dont you HELP!" -Tracy "Tracy looks like he is having fun, Thog not interfere." -Thog "Dammit Thog, HELP ME!" -Tracy Suddenly a massive force pushed them into the ground, this time, much more powerful than the first "Holy light! Dammit, it''s not working" -Tracy "Thog, I need help! I cant stand it any longer!" -????? "Thog''s pretty lady, no!" -Thog "Well, this was fun, but it is time for this nonsense to end. Die!" -Nasty god Suddenly, two full grown goblins burst through the door "Thog! You look like you are in a bit of trouble, Well i brought some friends to help!" -Hobgob Suddenly hordes of monsters, a lich, a basilisk, a highthy drow, a guild master, and many others showed up in droves. Most of which were "pets" at one time or another. The tables were turned on the god in an instint, goblins casing god class spells, liches casting darkness immunity on the monsters, monsters bull rushing the god, the whole scene was a chaotic mess Thog finally rose despite the overpowering magic holding him in place, and he forced his way to the front "This is impossible! How could i be defeated by puny mortals!" -Nasty god Suddenly a large tree trunk was raised above the gods head "Because Thog is better than you." -Thog *Crunch*
"Bah!" -Nasty god? suddenly a rather cranky god woke up, drenched in sweat. "Are you ok my lord!" -???? A demon rushed in to see what the commotion was about "Yeah bro, just a nasty dream. Also, how many times i gotta tell you, call me willson." -Willson "A lowly imp such as i could never do such a thing my lord! OH, i forgot to tell you, the next batch of heroes are here" -Imp "*Sigh* shit. i hate this job. Can''t you take over for me, or something?" -Willson "Hells no, my lord! I am but an imp, i would surely perish the moment they lay eyes on me!" -Imp "Damn. Fine then, ill be out in a minute." -Willson The god then changed out his nice sleepwear, for much less confratable armor and a dark sword "Damn... well i best get this over with." -Willson The sleepy god then walked into his throne room where his "Lovely" wife was sitting "Calmly" "Hah! Pathetic mortals, you dare kill my children, mock my guards, and enter my throne room! DIE!" -willson volume 2 chapter 2 "Thog needs to the the bathroom." -Thog "Wait untill we reach town, you can hold it." -Tracy "No.... Thog needs to go now, Can''t hold it -Thog "Ugg... fine, just do your buisness out by that tree." -Tracy .... ......... .............. "Thog! What is taking so long?!?!" -Tracy "Thog found new pet tracy!" -Thog "Thog, that is a slime, not a pet! Where did you even get that!" -Tracy "Thog was out doing Thogs buisness, Thog stopped, Thog''s new pet landed on Thog from a tree. Thog named it bubbles." -Thog "Ugg....... You know what? I dont care anymore, just make sure not to lose it." -Tracy Thog looked around, and saw Dragon lady, Making strange expressions at Thog. "Dragon lady! Look at Thogs new pet! Say hi bubbles!" -Thog "Greatings, my name is.... Bubbles was it? Ghastly name, but to the victor goes the spoils i supose. Pleasure to meet you." -Bubbles "Great! IT TALKS! Wonderfull.... Why am i still not yet suprised?" -Tracy "My name is Tabatha, Thog. And while i am still disapointed you cant seem to remember my name, it is good to see you take care of such a weak creature. Soo compasionate! Um... its a pleasure to meet you, bubbles." -TabathaIf you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it. "I would give up on that if i were you, hell it took me over a century just to get him to stop calling me Elf daddy. *Shivers*" -Tracy "Well, i supose it is nice to meet some compatiots, although it is rather sad that i have ended up in such a condition, at least i have gained a name.... Even if it is..... Bubbles.... Just saying the name sends shivers down my core, a learned gentalman called Bubbles." -Bubbles The slime sagged a bit, while being firmly held by the core by Thog "Well, for what it is worth, i am sorry, even if you did try to eat Thog. Well, bigger creatures have tried, this dragon in front of you for example." -Tracy The slime imidaitly perks up and shivers in excitment "A dragon you say! Such a majestic and powerfull lies before me? Where?!?! I simply adore such worthy researh material! Imagine what i could learn by simply observing such! ......Also, i did not wish to eat Thog, perhaps other slimes would debase themselves to such a level, but i would never eat a sentient creature. He had urinated on the tree i was sleeping on, and for some reason his unine corroded the tree causing it to fall, and sending me from my nice sleeping spot, strait on to my captor." -Bubbles "Um, i am the dragon, and Majestic, and powerfull?!?! You must have quite refined taste sir, once again, my name is Tabatha, its a pleasure to make your aquantience!" -Tabatha "*Gasp!* A dragon who can take a humanoid form! Wonderous! Astounding! Simply fantastic!" -Bubbles "Um... i hate to intrude, but if we dont start heading into town now, im afraid Thog''s slim patience will wear off, he looks as if he can no longer contain himself from speeking..." -Tracy Thog seems to be twitching, while grinning fiercly at the slime "Perhaps you are right, and i have never been inside a civilised town before, Let us be off.... also, could you release my core kind sir, its quite painfull to be held in my most sensitive location." -Bubbles "Thog will let go! Lets go! Thog needs to see Thog''s babies!" -Thog Thog releases the slime, and starts running twords the town "Thog has children! Who is the mother?!?! Why have i not heard of this!" -Tabatha "We dont have time for this! Thog is getting away, also he is not the father. They are Thog''s pets that he decided to formaly adopt. After him!" -Tracy "Fine, i will take your word for it, but i require an explanation when we get back!" -Tabatha "FINE, JUST RUN!" -Tracy ......"I could make a run for it, but my researchers blood is boiling at having such amazing research material, fine. illl follow, it should be intresting at least.... I better hurry, curse my lack of legs!" -Bubbles