《Bored Hero》 Getting A Drink ¡°MR HERO¡± Crashing into the room, hair dishevelled and a fearing look in her eyes, she catches the hem of her skirt on the door handle, tumbling to the floor with a crack. ¡°Please help us¡± snotty tears mixes with her bloodied face as she looks at the languid figure rocking in the shadows. That shadow, rocking on two legs of a chair with the all the calmness in the universe, sighing with a world weariness of an elder beyond his years, ale lapping tasteless into his mouth¡­is me. ¡°Why help now when tomorrow you will ask the same thing? Why aid those who can do so themselves?¡± ¡°They¡¯re dying, they¡¯re DYING. Can ya not hear the screams?!!¡± Ghastly like a ghoul, she crawls towards me, unkempt dirty blond hair hiding more than half her girlish, not quite womanly, face, yet what is visible is caked in fresh blood and tears. ¡°A million screams I have heard and a million more shall I hear. And every scream although different in its source, is but a common noise, an annoying noise. I have spent my life wading through screams, what is one more but another sound to the cacophony of my nightmares?¡± that is if my dreams were still so vivid. ¡°But but you¡¯re a hero aren¡¯t chya?!¡± ¡°Retired missy, now¡± I take the last gulp of that bitter ale, placing the tankard down semi-lightly onto the rickety table ¡°Get me another drink¡± ¡°No¡± She stands up, blood spurts down her leg as she does so, almost topping her over once more. ¡°Are you the barmaid or a bitch¡± ¡°You don¡¯t take that tone with me, I aint serving ya nothing until ya go out there and save the town!¡± Crossing her arms defiantly. Oh come on, I just want another drink. ¡°Fine¡± a smile cracks upon her lips ¡°I¡¯ll go get the ale myself¡± Pushing off the table with my feet, the chair and I fall to the floor. Ah might actually have a nap instead. *BRATATATATATATTTT* *Snore* ¡°WAKE UP, WAKE UP¡± Her weak slaps are almost like raindrops, ahhh shitty memories. The screams permeate downstairs with a crash, that odd sound following inside and like a phantom of death cuts out all other sounds of life. ¡°PAPA¡± Molly screams, running out of the room towards the ever growing screams of death and battle ¡­¡­. ¡­¡­ ¡­.. ¡­. ¡­ .. . I¡¯m thirsty. Dragging myself to my feet and stumbling to the door, just about catching the handle, I swing it open into a human in full swat, black-ops looking gear pointing a machine-gun between my eyes. *Bang* ¡°¡­ow¡± completely deadpan I look through his night-vision goggles, seeing dreading eyes behind them. Crushing his head before he can shoot another bullet into my head, I get assaulted by a blue screen. Hello again, it¡¯s been a long fucking while blue screen.
Thank you for joining The Games in sector FS3-X41, Roy the Hero.Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.
Enemies left: 475 Allies left: 13
If I could roll my eyes further to the back of my head I could. *BRATATATAT* *Dingdingding* Oh that is going to get annoying. Wobbling down the shot up wooden stairs, nursing my favourite tankard, right into the crosshairs of a dozen swat looking soldiers, I cast a simple air slash before they can riddle me with enough holes to become swiss bloody cheese. *Dingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingding* Honestly the bullets might be less annoying. Strolling to the bar, dammit they even shot the casks. To the cellar and god dammit soldiers why do you have to shoot all the ale? *Dingding* Pain in the ass, all I want is a drink. Luckily the cellar is pretty big, so after a good twenty minutes of searching and killing the dozen soldiers that came in locked and loaded, before they could shoot up the place more than it already is, I finally found a cask that hadn¡¯t been punctured. Elfbark ale, tastes like sugary piss. Eh it¡¯ll do. Getting back upstairs, well that explains the massive cannon sounds as the entire above ground part of the tavern has been obliterated. Wait the bar is still slightly intact. Where is¡­aha there¡¯s a tap. Crooked but it¡¯ll do for now. *gulp gulp gulp gulp gulpahhh* Give me a second please tank, I¡¯m pretty thirsty. Poruing myself a second tankard of ale as the huge barrel of a black heavy looking tank veers towards me, I drain the second tankard just as the click of gunpowder reaches my ears. *BOOM* *dingdingdingdingding* And that¡¯s one blown up tank, now to get my tankard ba¡­nope it got shattered inside the barrel too. Man that was my third favourite tankard. *Brrrrrr* ¡°Fire!¡± Ignoring them as over a hundred machine guns, miniguns, shotguns, rocket launchers, sniper rifles and a bunch of other guns fire everything they¡¯ve got at my protective shield as I scour the somehow standing bar for another tankard. *Clickclickclick* ¡°He¡¯s a monster¡± ¡°M-m-men! It doesn¡¯t matter, reload and shoot, something will get through eventu-¡± *Dingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingding* Well I¡¯d be lying if I said I hadn¡¯t been through worse repetitive annoying noises before. At least I took them all out with a wind slice rather than have to suffer one ding at a time. ¡°Please spare me¡± There¡¯s always one that survives somehow, always a young looking kid probably not even legal sex age. Stomping his mask in, one last fucking ding and if I counted right that should be all the enemies
VICTORY!
The battle between Larios (Village) and Coombeinteignhead (Village) has ended.
Casualties: 500 Enemies 498 Allies
Please wait while other battles finish
Now THAT got my attention. Coombeinteignehead is from Earth if my perfect memory is correct¡­No wonder they sounded English and had guns¡­though the full on swat looking armour is definitely unusual. Well I¡¯ll learn whatever the hell is this in due time, might as well get myself a drink... *Crunch* Ah screw it. ¡°Hero¡±. Bloody Molly sits up suddenly, bullets falling out of her body with more annoying clanging. ¡°Why am I alive?¡± Ow shit my eyes are stuck in the back of my head again. *thwack thwack* There we go I can see again ¡°Find me a tankard¡± Plopping the surviving cask on the remains of the counter and sit on somehow an intact stool. ¡°And pour me a drink¡± Food Is A Must ¡°Why a-¡± Placing a finger on her mouth, I take a long drink of this surgary piss. Maybe I should go to a city and buy myself some proper drink. Ok now you can speak. ¡°Why am I alive?¡± She¡¯s almost distraught that she¡¯s alive, as if it were completely unnatural for her to be. ¡°Because I revived you¡± Once a day I canrevive a living being, had to burn a whole religion to stop them pursuing me for it. ¡°R-r-revive?¡± ¡°I¡¯m hungry, you got any scraps?¡± ¡°Wait a second Mr Hero, you revived me? B-b-b-b-b-¡± ¡°Food you blubbering fool, and don¡¯t be blubbering all over it either¡± ¡°R-R-R-right Mr Hero¡± Maybe I shouldn¡¯t have revived her...but ale tastes best when served. Within too many minutes she returns with a plate of literal scraps of food she could find from the blown up kitchen. ¡°Who are you?¡± She stays slightly away holding the tray of scraps from me. ¡°A hungry man, give me the scraps¡± a very hungry man ¡°No, tell me who you are, Mr Hero. Look at how many people are dead! I knew you were strong but this is¡­unbelievable.¡± The plate of food wobbles as she points out all the bisected corpses lying around. Woah there that¡¯s food you¡¯re going to drop. ¡°Just¡­put the food down and I¡¯ll talk.¡± It¡¯s been a couple of months since I¡¯ve properly eaten I think, so I do need some food. Squinting her eyes at me she slowly puts the tray down, still keeping it out of my reach however. ¡­.. ¡­. ¡­ .. . Dammit. ¡°Fine I¡¯m the hero¡± ¡°¡­Who?¡± This is a village but have a little knowledge of world changing history! Motioning her to pass me the tray, she pushes it an inch towards me. Standing up with a sigh as heavy as the world itself, I walk to the board and shove all the scraps into my mouth. I am really not going to play your stupid little game Molly. ¡°So you¡¯re a hero Mr Hero but how can you revive me. Are you a necromancer?¡± She looks down at her breasts in horror ¡°Am I a zombie?¡± ¡°Eh¡± ¡°I¡¯m not a zombie am I, you made me a zombie?! WHY AM I A ZOMBIE?¡± She starts crying on the floor, drama queen. All I did was shrug. ¡°TELL ME¡± Your crying¡¯s making my ale sour¡­stop. ¡°You may be a zombie¡± It¡¯s been a while since I¡¯ve revived someone running on fumes without a magic circle or even an incantation. ¡°But if you are, you¡¯ll rot a lot slow-¡± ¡°AHHHHHHHHHHHHH¡± Ignoring her screams of despair, I finish off the cask and get up unsteadily. ¡°Where are you going?¡± ¡°Eh¡± Somewhere with drink and some hot food, maybe Rintash if it hasn¡¯t been destroyed by whatever the hell is going on. With nothing but a comfortable set of boxers and a tankard, it¡¯s off to Rintash. Though it might be a promising idea to get some clothes, or shoes really. Having a quick loot of the village, I take Sherman¡¯s boots giving him a second of silence. I may have seen millions die in my lifetime but it still sucks when you actually see someone you know dead. Leaving the village behind, I turn around and cast a good inferno on it, burning everything to ash. Go and have fun with the Gods for a few millenia. *Grumble* I am starving Reaching the outskirts of the forest, I notice Tillia on the floor skull blown apart from a pretty hefty gun, through most of her cloak is intact.. ¡­Ah screw it, it¡¯s not every day you meet a half-elf with a nice body and face. Or a half-elf for that matter. Casting full revive on her¡­damn was that really a good idea? That¡¯s a month cooldown that I probably would¡¯ve never used. Slightly regretting my choice, I watch her skull regenerate, skin smearing the bones into a more human looking face, mature yet pointed with high raised cheekbones and a small mouth. And dimples, from one cheek to another across her small straight nose, going almost perfectly with her ocean blue eyes and black braided hair.You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version. Smoothest skin I¡¯ve touched for quite a few years too. Damn I miss the elves, suicidal morons leaving me all alone for eternity. Her face fully reforms, eyes staring blankly into the sky, mouth slightly parted to reveal slightly yellowed teeth. Casting clean on her teeth, there we go much whiter and brighter. Life may suck but doesn¡¯t mean I can¡¯t try have perfection when I get some random desire to be taken away from this immortal orgasm of boredom for half a second. While playing with her teeth she takes a breath suddenly, ramming her face into mine and¡­she just broke her skull again. Casting regenerate so she doesn¡¯t die, I take a little bit of distance. She takes another breath but doesn¡¯t jolt up like before, much more aware of her surroundings, ocean eyes darting furtively before stopping at me. Immediately rolling backwards to her feet, hunting knife out and a ferocious look in her eyes, she looks ready to pounce ¡°Who are you?¡± ¡°Roy¡± I force a smile on myself. It¡¯s been a while since I¡¯ve used those muscles ¡­ .. . She keeps her stance looking at me with a questioning curiosity ¡°You look like shit¡± Coarse just like any half-elf. Why are they always coarse? ¡°Thanks for reviving me¡± And blunt. ¡°I¡¯m off to get a drink¡± Lifting up my tankard, I start into the forest. ¡°¡­I¡¯ll join you¡± She probably looked at the burning inferno that used to be Larios. Ah much less annoying than Molly. Stepping into the forest, I hit a wall, literally. Not a physical one but as I press my hands against the air I can feel it and see the red outline of a no-go zone appearing on the edge of my hand. Giving it a punch, nothing happens. Well that is certainly unusual¡­maybe it¡¯s because I¡¯m still weak from months of disuse. ¡°You noticed¡± ¡°A barrier, and not a normal one either¡± ¡°It appeared up when the attackers came¡± Immediately she looks around for enemy survivors. Well trained hunter if nothing else. That and a nice pair of breasts, solid seven out of ten which is saying something on my scale. So anyway it¡¯s got something to do with the blue screen. Just bloody perfect. Time to see how locked into this place I am. As I walk, hand gliding across the red wall which does give a slight tingling, Tillia stalks next to me, boots sliding across the grass with little sound. Hmm never actually talked to this one much, run of the mill hunter indeed but definitely has more than a few perks of her elven ancestry. ¡°Can you stop looking at my ears¡± Even has a sixth sense too, if I wasn¡¯t basically a god she¡¯d be a pretty useful party member. ¡°Or my ass¡± Tight leather full body suit and you¡¯re asking me not to look as it shifts up and down? It¡¯s not like I¡¯m aroused or anything, it¡¯s just slightly less boring to look at them then the wide world of grass and trees. Plus after months of staring blankly into darkness it¡¯s a different sight of many memories. Turns out we¡¯re stuck in a square about 2 kilometers across. That means we¡¯ve got plains, plains and oh guess what, more flipping plains. And of course the burning wreck that used to be the town. ¡°So we¡¯re stuck here, great¡± Saying what I¡¯m thinking. Why haven¡¯t I talked to this woman before? Would¡¯ve made at least a few days less bloody boring. ¡°Until the other battles finish¡± ¡°You got that blue screen too?¡± I nod. Hmm so I¡¯m not special this time round that¡¯s¡­annoying. I like being special if nothing else. ¡°You get the victory bit?¡± ¡°Yep, popped up when I revived amongst a couple of other things¡± Huh blue screens don¡¯t seem that unique anymore. ¡°So, we just wait until whatever the hell is going on finishes¡± ¡°Pretty much. Got any food?¡± I am starving, which is ironic because I can¡¯t. She gives me a once over before relinquishing some jerky from her satchel. Not all of it but then again she does actually need to eat. While I devour the jerky, Tillia goes hunting for her bow. Oh yeah people had cellars, let¡¯s go have a look. Twelve cellars and oh it¡¯s heaven. Ignoring the fact that almost half of what I eat ends up having bullets in it, I¡¯m feeling eh satisfied. ¡°Roy, Rooy where in Hallocks name did you go?¡± Tillia calls from above, probably having found her bow. Popping out of a cellar munching on a freshly roasting rabbit haunch, she topples over backwards upon seeing me. ¡°w-W-w what in Hallocks name are you?!¡± ¡°The hero¡± ¡°¡­who?¡± Oh for fucks sake. ¡°Fuck that question, why do you look less like a zombie and more like a doddering old man?¡± ¡°Food¡± ¡°Well fuck me¡± ¡­Eh ¡°How long do you think we have?¡± ¡°Wow¡­ew. No¡­¡± she looks at me rather in disgust and a tinge of fear ¡°But how did food make you look so much better, like even your skin isn¡¯t clammy anymore¡± Somehow she regains her composure, if I didn¡¯t know any better I¡¯d think she¡¯s a full elf with the plethora of racial perks she has. Eyesight being just one of them. ¡°Magic takes a toll on my body, but food restores it¡± Since mana is literally created through natural decomposition of my body and by the fact that I can control the decomposition process¡­I get old very fast, or really show my true age. Elder problems.
Kaaran vs Earth Day 1 battles concluded
Kingdom of Arun vs Britain
¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ ¡­ Rintash (Victor) vs Quorn (Loser) Larios (Victor) vs Coombeinteignhead (Loser)
8 wins 48197 losses
Well Earth does have guns and as far as I¡¯m not surprised they won so much. Though apart from me how did 7 other places survive? Ah what do I care.
For winning, the ruler of Larios chooses a prize.
1. Revive on all members 2. Open border agreement 3. Take control of Coombeinteignhead
Roy the Hero, Choose
It¡¯s like an annoying game, just great. Just what I wanted to make me lull from my boredom¡­actually yeah this might be ever so slightly interesting. Especially with the third choice. Maybe I can go home and see what¡¯s changed. But to be honest I was already bored shitless of Earth when came here so why would it be any less boring going back? Maybe for a tv show¡­ Choosing the open border agreement because last thing I want is to take control of somewhere and actually participate in this game properly, the surroundings flash red with the barriers glowing and I instinctively know to choose one. Well the west one to Rintash obviously. The west barrier dissolves in front of my eyes¡­maybe if I had more strength I could break the barriers myself? That¡¯s a thought. Starting towards Rintash with a stalking Tillie, another blue screen pops up.
You are ranked 30,422nd in this war
Well there isn¡¯t much challenge or motivation to become first, but if I¡¯m stuck playing The Games thing, might as well be the best at it. Rintash Rintash, a shitty little hunting village in the middle of Greydar forest where every man woman child and even the babies are hunters. Their sole purpose in life is to hunt down the many wild animals and beasts of the region and sell their hides for good coin to the few brave merchants who come their way. A simple people with a simple life, hell if I remember correctly children don¡¯t wear proper clothes untiltheymake some from their first kill.A strange people indeed seeing as though most humans like to sit comfortably in luscious chairs surrounded by sexually arousing others tending to their every need, but this lot prefer cold hard wood as their beds and fresh furs as their blankets. I¡¯d say the only good thing about these people is their rowdy nature after a big hunt and their traditions for coming of age, less than dull compared to many human settlements out there. Though they could be a little more friendly. Signalling Tillia to stop,I sigh at the soundof thedrawing of a bowstring from the trees above. What did I have to do again? ¡°I stride like a beast to water, for parched and hungry am I¡± *Twang* They only have twogood thingsgoing for them that¡¯s for sure. ¡°Hey, you little shit that¡¯s the travellers saying so why did you shoot me?¡± Deadpan, I rub at the small bruise appearing at my throat, staring at the mousy brown-haired youth who almost falls off his perch from the trees above at being spotted so efficiently. He responds by taking out his hunting horn and tooting twice. ¡°No fighting¡± I stop Tillia as she knocks an arrow. Fighting would be easier but there¡¯s really no point to killing everyone. As I stand there, eye glued to the youth, he shakily knocks an arrow and aims it at me once more. But before he lets loose, a small contingent of people arrive, leaping branch to branch, bows trained on me once in range. *Sigh* ¡°I stride like a beast to water, for parched and hungry am I¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°And like the river, we are ever present, nourishing all¡± An elderly man, in his late sixties I suspect by his failing eyes and lack of teeth, nods towards me in a sign of acknowledgment. Finally someone with some common sense. Suddenly and silently, all bows lose tension and many descend the trees almost running with their clawed boots. The elderly man offers me a hand, still muscular from constant use. A strong and harsh village this is. ¡°Kairon Endlefan, Apologies for mistaking you as a zombie¡± Euric¡¯s nephew? And a zombie? I sense TIllia giving a nod of approval at that stament. ¡°Roy Hero¡± Roy the Hero technically but in my weak days I got bullied and many assassination attempts for that because apparently nobles don¡¯t like narcissism from others but themselves. He peers at me for a few seconds as if looking upon a memory come to light. ¡°Have I¡­¡± ¡°Are you Euric¡¯s nephew?¡± ¡°Indeed, though for you to have known my uncle¡­¡± Yes I am old but that isn¡¯t the problem here. ¡°Tillia how many years has it been since I came to Larios?¡± ¡°¡­I¡­m not Tillia. That¡¯s my mother¡± Not Tillia looks at me with a rather confused expression, which I reciprocate ¡­ .. . ¡°At what age did your mother have you and how old are you now?¡± ¡°I¡¯m twenty two and my mother had me at fifty seven¡± I came into the village when Tillia was barely in her twenties ¡­¡­. ¡­¡­ ¡­.. ¡­. ¡­ .. . Laeth?nion would be so proud. Collecting my thoughts on the fact that I had spent the past fifty six years sitting and drinking in a dark room and it only felt like a few months was¡­a wake up call to my stomach which hurt, a lot. ¡°Food¡± I thought it was strange how I was so hungry after only a few months of an average human¡¯s daily meals. ¡°Wait a second Roy, you and my mother knew eachother?¡± ¡°Food first, I¡¯m starving¡± Ignoring not Tillia, I rush to Rintash ahead of everyone else, since I obviously remember where it¡¯s at. In the trees, like children building treehouses but in a bigger scale. It helped that the groundwork was made by the elves before they ''departed''. Jumping straight to the Main tree, a black oak in the midst of large pine trees, I land at the side door, opening it straight into the kitchen. ¡°What¡¯s for lunch¡± I smile to a rippling muscled woman with tangled brown hair knotted in a messy bun as she roasts a skinned panther with delight. ¡°What did you bring?¡± Give food to get food, such a pain in the ass, but at least you didn¡¯t have to do the cooking.If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation. ¡°I¡¯m Euric¡¯s Forest Wanderer¡± Took me a day to finish that lifetime quest. ¡°Euric? Who the hell is that?¡± Barely twenty, so I guess she wouldn¡¯t know Euric then, this is a pain. ¡°Late Pack Master, Euron¡¯s father¡± ¡°Oh my ma, told me about ¡®im, a good hunter I was told.¡± A better actor. ¡°Your mother, Kayla, is she still around?¡± Perfect recall, annoying but quite useful when I really want something done. ¡°You know me ma? Wait here, I¡¯ll go get ¡®er¡± Kayla Juniour runs past me to the outside. That panther¡¯s cooking too slow¡­ Midway through my hot meal, Kayla Juniour and a decrepit hag shuffle through the door. How she''s alive is probably by sheer willpower. ¡°Kayla¡­may your blood be bait for the feast upon your death¡± ¡°Roy Hero¡­I¡¯m not dead yet you geezer, and you look more like a walking zombie than I do¡± Her curtness hasn¡¯t lost any edge from what I remember. Though she limps haggardly as if the toils of the world hang heavy upon her back. ¡°I am very hungry¡± She nods understandingly ¡°Tilly dear, can you get everything from our stores¡± Being one of many cooks who have had to feed me¡­she knows just how much I eat for breakfast alone. ¡°Everything ma, is this a festival?¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s lunch¡± She gives me a wicked smile. She seems almost delighted to cook for me again. Odd since for the few weeks that I stayed here neither she nor any of her dozen kitchen staff got a wink of sleep thanks to my hunger andrestoration spells. Would¡¯ve thought she¡¯d never want to see me again after that. Tilly leaves the two of us and immediately Kayla inches closer to me, failing eyes squinting to get a better look. I cast clean and regenerate so her dying breath doesn¡¯t spoil the meat. ¡°Over fifty years and you haven¡¯t changed a bit¡± Well it does turn out I haven¡¯t moved for fiftysix years, which explains a lot of muscle pains...and why my serving girl changed from Mary to Molly. ¡°It passed quickly¡± Laeth?nion really taught me something useful there, might have to find myself a nice place to lie down and make millenia pass and hope something interesting is happening when I come to. ¡°Indeed. While my daughter¡¯s busy cooking, how about I show you all the changes¡± As long as I get to take the panther with me. Holding the sizzling rack on both ends, I chomp away as we walk outside after casting a few utility spells to help speed her up from the zombie shuffle she was displaying. ¡°As you may have found out, Euric¡¯s dead, ripped apart by a Bristlebear Matriarch, his son Euron killed it and then took his father¡¯s place. Every bit as good as he, if not much less dramatic¡± Euric and his flouncing around was surely worlds different from the stoic, death-hardened people that made up this place. ¡°What about the Travellers saying?¡± Since a new Pack Master meant a new saying. ¡°Abolished after too many outsiders found out. How did you fare in this Games?¡± She suddenly directs the question as she points metowards the mountain of herbs growing in pots outside the herbalist¡¯s house. Deathroot lily, wow they certainly have been using my maps to make a good headway in. they might even reach the Blight in the next few years if they try. ¡°I need a drink and some food¡± She laughs gutturally. ¡°What about here?¡± ¡°They came but a few hours ago, wearing odd clothing and wielding even odder weapons. Most of us died rapidly once they found us, but our traps and numbers were enough to whittle them down in the end.¡± Seeing as though the place seems to be at full capacity, Euron must¡¯ve revived everyone with his victory. ¡°Will it happen again?¡± ¡°Most definitely and no I¡¯m not helping before you ask¡± ¡°Not even for a barrel of Goldensprout ale?¡± Goldensprout¡­dammit it has been too long since I¡¯ve had anything decent to drink. And Goldensprout is absolutely gorgeous with it¡¯s lemon and honey, tangy taste. ¡°How do you even have one?¡± Dwarven make from the Caverns of Coldar. Production stopped ninety years ago due to a final drow insurgency blowing it all up. By now all should¡¯ve been taken by all the rich bastards and drunk shamelessly. ¡°Years of looking and a lot of favours and trade. Euric¡¯s orders, as thanks for all you did in case you ever came back¡± A hint of a smile crawls across her thinning lips ¡°And if you would like a drink with an old friend¡± It must¡¯ve come after he died or he would¡¯ve drunk it, no doubt. ¡°Where¡¯d they use his corpse?¡± I cast a Recall spell on her to help things along. ¡°Near river Dwyne, lured a Krokoking¡± She seems impressed at her own memory. ¡°There you are¡± Not Tillia lifts herself up the last few pegs and onto the platform. ¡°You¡¯re really hungry aren¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Famished¡± Taking a last bite of the panther, I hand not Tillia the bones on a rack and wheel around. ¡°If you¡¯re buggering off I¡¯m joining¡± I can feel her discomfort emanating, Half-elf problems. Whatever, lunch won¡¯t be cooked for at least another hour. Casting a few more lasting spells on Kayla so she has the energy to cook, I ignore my stomach ripping itself apart inside and head towards the kitchen once again Without any trouble, my nose finds the cask and I hoist it onto my right shoulder, grabbing two wooden tankards and begin jogging lightly with all across the small treetop village. Since I am not in a rush, I allow not Tillia to remain beside me as she quietens her huffs as much as possible while sprinting and sweating profusely. Reaching the river in just a short while, I ignore her stares as I shapeshift my eyes into a Redcliff Roc¡¯s and begin looking around for the small grave made of blackened bones that signify a fallen hunter. Though I do have her go do something else as I¡¯m not to be disturbed. Beating an eager Krokokile to a pulp as it decides I¡¯m easy prey, I notice the small grave just a few meters away. Taking hold of a charred bone, I cast Taste on it, and then sit down by it and start pouring some ale. ¡­Hahhh Just like the old days, having a drink with someone who¡¯s already dead. Well I hope he enjoys his Goldensprout. Cheers to you, you burnt piece of bone Euric. *glug* The taste is worse than I remember; honey''s gone slightly sour, probably a few too many years stilling and waiting to be drunk. Dammit perfect recall, can¡¯t you let me enjoy this drink? Refilling his tankard and pouring it over his bones as I drink, we quickly finish the cask, of which I chuck into an oncoming Krokokile¡¯s face. ¡°I hope you¡¯re enjoying the bitch that is eternity¡± Giving a last look at the charred bones as they pulverize themselves to ash, I call out for not Tillia, who reappears from the trees not far away. Seriously I told you to leave us alone. ¡°Old friend?¡± ¡°Sort of¡± Friend would be a strong word. He actually kind of hated that I was superbly overpowered. But then again we both hated that ¡°So what is your name then?¡± ¡°Th?ssael?a¡± Thessa for short, long names are just annoying. ¡°That¡¯s pretty elvish¡± ¡°My father named me, who knocked up my Mom then fucked off¡± Okay daddy issues calm your tits. ¡°Was he a half-elf too?¡± ¡°Mom said he called himself a full elf but that¡¯s bullshit, everyone knows elves don¡¯t exist anymore¡± true so probably a narcissist. Damn, to see Tillia get knocked up by that, bloody typical of this world. Tutting to myself, I walk back to Rintash, climbing up the pegs this time, mostly holding onto Thessa, as I seem to have lost more muscle mass and am basically a stick at this point. Really should rein in on the whole throwing about spells like spit for now. ¡°Food¡± I grumble to Thessa as she supports me. I may be a hero but not getting enough sustenance really fucks me over big time. Just one of many things that will make boredom into living hell if I let it too much out of control. Stumbling into the main hall, guided by the same mousy brown-haired kid who shot me, I¡¯m assaulted with the sight of dozens of beasts being roasted in front of me, the fires taking up much space of the hall. ¡°Welcome Roy Hero, Forest Wanderer of Euric, it is a pleasure to see a figure such as yourself here, one whom my father spoke much of¡± He gives me a pleasant smile and nod ¡°But enough of the pleasantries, you are hungry are you not?¡± ¡°I could eat a country¡± Day 2, On The Attacking Side *Wobowobowobowobowww* Without my consent, all food in my hand and vicinity disperses as I get teleported to a wheat field.
Day 2, Kingdom of Arun vs Britain
Larios vs Stokeinteignhead Rintash vs Bunny ¡­ ¡­ ¡­
Dismissing the next blue screen since it¡¯s only going to tell me how many enemies I have to kill which doesn¡¯t matter at all, I have a think about what I am to do. Turns out the time is exactly one second past midnight. Well that explains why the soldiers yesterday were wearing night-vision gear since it seems battles commence in the middle of the night. Of course that poses zero problem to me since I won''t have to worry about stalking around anyways. Placing my palms to the sky, feeling the cool air currents, I let a pungent poison billow out of my pores and into the wind, snaking towards the village ¡­ .. . Where are the wails of dying people? I made the poison obvious enough to have some sort of commotion. *Bang* ¡°You betta start running or I¡¯ll kill ya¡± A farmer with his double-barrelled shotgun hobbles up closer to me as I pick buckshot out of my chest. Flinging one such cartridge at him, it goes cleanly through his eye and into his brain. ¡°PA¡± a scruffy young boy jumps up from his hiding place, running over to his dead farmer father. As he does, two others, slightly older and with more than a tinge of fear swimming in their eyes, rush to protect them from me. Gravity well ,and they all go squish.
VICTORY!
Casualties: Enemies: 4 Allies: 0
Please wait until other battles are finished
¡°You don¡¯t piss about do you?¡± Thessa shakes her head at the pile of mush that used to be our enemies. ¡°Have you ever fought a demon?¡± ¡°They¡¯re real?¡± She sounds almost surprised, well in all fairness demons haven¡¯t existed foralmost two milleniumnow. ¡°Extinct, but when they were around, a lot of trouble was caused. Mostly by their innate ability to possess other creatures. And I¡¯ll give you one guess as to what was their favourite thing to possess¡± ¡°Children. Mom used to tell me if I did anything naughty it would give way for a demon to possess me¡± ¡°Oddly enough, demons can¡¯t possess pure souled beings, although there was a certain lack of those back then. Children were especially easy to possess since they have a habit of mischief, in otehr words an impure soul.¡± Being a child back then was less than pleasant: if you were in a frontier town you¡¯d be killed no questions asked if word spreadof a demon nearby and any ¡®evil¡¯ thing they did anywhere in the kingdom was an immediate death sentence. Didn''t help in the long run, especially for the halflings. "But these are just children" She obviously points out. I simply nod. Remorse for killing children, possessed or not, was long taken from me. And I remember every single kill¡­ ¡°So¡­what do we do now? Since we¡¯ve got essentially a day to ourselves¡± ¡°Get some cid-¡± Midsentence I¡¯m teleported back to Larios, the ashen plain where nothing resides. Noted; if I want to eat and drink back on Earth, I need to keep someone alive.
The Village of Rintash is still fighting. Would you like to Assist?
Since I¡¯ve got literally nothing else to do¡­sure why not. Teleporting once more, Thessa vomits on the new wheat field that we appear in. Same after effects as a normal teleportation spell, interesting. I immediately notice the hundreds of hunters lying low in the field, quietly waiting for something in the pale moonlight. Euron, noticing me, beckons me towards him. He never got to talk to me in the end since lunch lasted until now. Crouching by him, he nods his head towards the village and I notice the dozen people scouting the perimeters. Fourty seven building, one hundred and six guns visible from here. Mostly shotguns, although a few hunting rifles and pistols mixed in. Why did Coombeinteignhead have proper soldiers and a tank?This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings. I need information. ¡°I can help you take out this village without losing a single member. But you have to give me leadership of Rintash¡± Technically supposed to be helping them for free due to Goldensprout but I''m curious about how the ruler rule works. Gagging back his laughter and surprise, Euron clears his throat eventually. ¡°Why in Hallock¡¯s name would I ever give you leadership of Rintash?¡± Worth a try. Casting Charm on him, he immediately agrees to give me leadership but no blue window telling me I¡¯ve received leadership of Rintash¡­guess it¡¯s not that easy then. Once again placing my palms into the wind, this time I conjure up Sleep Dust and let it travel to the village. This way if I let a few live, some information can be gained and I can raid their cupboards for food and drink. ¡°Alright everyone, go into the village, kill someone and tie another one up. Bring the live ones here¡± Everyone looks at me as if I¡¯m a simpleton by standing up and speaking so loudly in enemy territory. ¡°Now¡± casting Command, they get moving swiftly, feet before brain for most of them. Within ten minutes, over one hundred humans are lying at my feet, unbound and sleeping. Picking ten random individuals, all adults because kids know shit, I order for the rest to be killed. Mercilessly, arrows pepper the sleeping pile until the sounds of breath emanate from it no longer. Didn¡¯t even have to use Command for that, a rather cold people but I like that in an army. Do first, question after. Having everyone raid the houses for food and drink, I wake up my first prisoner with a light tap on the head: he¡¯s a thirty something man with greasy oil blackening his otherwise pale fingers. ¡°You¡¯re going to answer all my questions and if you don¡¯t I¡¯ll-¡± ¡°-I SURRENDER!¡± Screaming it the moment he fully comes to, a bright light shines down on him, disappearing almost as instantaneously as it came, along with him. O¡­k? So there¡¯s a surrendering system in play. Waking up my next victim, a portly looking man, the butcher I¡¯d assume with his bloody apron. Clamping my hand over his mouth, I watch him struggle to waking, words muffling in my palm. He too gets vaccumed away by the bright light. So no actual words required, simply a desire to surrender then? My third victim, an older woman, smelling of the butcher, probably his wife, gets the idea to surrender willed in her mind by me and she too disappears in bright light. Without even waking up. So if they want to surrender the system(?) will teleport them to safety(?). Before choosing my fourth prisoner, I have a peek at the pincushioned corpses, and sure enough within one of the survivors is a mother of now two dead little girls by the facial resemblances. Taking her a distance, away from everyone. I plant the crying faces of her two little girls into her mind. *Grumble* Overusing it again. I hope there¡¯s a lot to eat here. ¡°Your two little girls¡± I catch her immediate attention as she opens her eyes ¡°Will be killed if you surrender. If you answer my questions, I will allow them and you to surrender, I¡¯m not trying to kill people, just learn what¡¯s going on, understand?¡± ¡°Y-y-y-yyyes¡± She gulps loudly though rather bravely given the circumstance. Casting Calm on her so she stops shaking like a leaf and tearing up, there we go now I¡¯ll be able to get some information out. Without unnecessary drama. ¡°How long has Earth been in these ¡®Games¡¯¡± ¡°three days now?¡± She seems unsure but it¡¯s probably the fact that so much has happened for her three days seems unrealistic. ¡°And why did you have barely any weapons when other villages had soldiers and tanks?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. We got a blue screen telling us we had one day to prepare for the upcoming war against the Kingdom of Arun¡± I assume the same screen popped up on my side too. I must¡¯ve been too deep within myself to have noticed dismissing it. So must I assume that in just one day they got a contingent of soldiers and a tank? Seems rather impossible. ¡°What is happening in the south of Britain, around Exeter?¡± ¡°War with America, they blew up Falmouth last I heard¡± UK and USA are in a war? Well that¡¯s certainly unexpected. Although it has been a while since I¡¯ve been here. Ok so soldiers were down in Coombeinteignhead as part of a war and they just got sucked into another one. Well I won¡¯t be surprised if I have to kill some Americans soon. ¡°Final question¡± Since Earth seems to be new in all this too so they and definitely not some random woman in a village will have much idea about what is going on. ¡°What year is it¡± ¡°twothousand and twenty one¡± Well ain¡¯t that a bitch. Been away for almost three thousand years and barely five pass here¡­ I wonder if I can find my parents, that¡¯d be¡­almost fun? Maybe. I¡¯m not sure how it would be to talk to my abusive father and bitch of a mother after three thousand years¡­ Killing the woman, I don¡¯t bother interrogating the rest and head straight into the village. To the pub! A Wetherspoons, now I¡¯m hungry for a burrito and some loaded chips. Total recall will probably make it taste like shit though¡­ Jumping behind the bar, there¡¯s a beat in my heart as this may be the first time¡­the first time in thousands of years that I get to have gin. GIN! I¡¯ve spent literally thousands of years trying out all kinds of moonshine, alchemy brew and ales to find something that resembled the dry, acidy taste of gin from Earth. I might actually be excited. ¡°Are you alright? You¡¯ve been staring at all those strange containers of water for a while now¡± ¡°Water, hah you have no idea¡± Grabbing a bottle of Bombay, some Grenadine, sprite and an orange. Yum this is fucking good. The alcohol industry didn¡¯t truly kick off in Kaaran, especially as the most famous brewers of them all, the elves, buggered off to the beyond. It¡¯s preposterous I¡¯m actually getting excited over something. Passing the first quad shot cocktail of drunken demise to Terra, who sniffs at it cautiously and then takes an even more cautious gulp, I quickly make my own and begin drinking. Just as I raise the glass to my lips, the tangy scent wafting into my nostrils, I get teleported. The glass and all my drink disappeared, all of it. Every. Last. Drop. Well that answers the question of whether I can bring things back with me¡­god FUCKING DAMMIT. Ignoring the blue screen, I stop myself from stomping over to Euron and slaughtering him because pointless killing is just that. And life is no fun if you can just kill everyone and have everything work out for you just as you like it. That lifestyle got boring pretty fucking quickly. My Charm spell must¡¯ve worn off though, ugh I hate how I added a random generation to all my spells. Bad decision of the three hundred year old me. *Gulp* ¡°Damn, whoo what was that aggh?¡± Thessa opens her mouth widely to fan the burning sensation that¡¯s probably snaking its way down her throat right now. ¡°Something that might actually be worth my time¡± Maybe I could spend a week or two learning all the bartending skills before it got boring, maybe. For now however, let¡¯s get some more food in this starving self, reckless as ever, using up more than I ate. ¡­
Kaaran vs Earth Day 2 battles concluded
Kingdom of Arun vs Britain
Yedgar (Victor) vs Nottingham (Loser) Collll (Loser) vs Amberley (Victor) Dernam (Loser) vs Falmouth (Victor) Cailash (Victor) vs Ashford (Loser) Fordir (Victor) vs Chippenham (Loser) Raravale (Victor) vs East Farleigh (Loser) Rintash (Victor) vs Bunny (Loser) Larios (Victor) vs Stokeinteignhead (Loser)
6 wins 2 losses
So what does the rest of Britain do? Freetime?
For winning, the ruler of Larios chooses a prize.
1. Revive on all members 2. a pair of animals from Stokeinteignhead¡¯s local area 3. A wheat field
Roy the Hero, Choose
For winning, the ruler of Rintash chooses a prize.
Euron Contraid, Choose
Exactly zero point zero four two seconds passed until I¡¯m* nose to nose with Euron. ¡°I am the ruler am I not?¡± Interesing as I can see the ruler but not the prizes. He simply squints his eyes annoyingly at me, but since none of his people died and I did help¡­he ignores me, rather garnering his attention to the blue screen. At least he¡¯s not a little bitch giving me command when I ask him¡­good. Favour over, no more help to Rintash anymore. Now to get myself a pair of animals. *Ding* Just as I step outside the air beneath me shimmers intensely. Materialising around the black oak tree on the forest floor is the large white sign signifying the many alcohol moments of my early life: Wetherspoons Drinking At Wetherspoons ¡°Hello Sir, would you like to try out my new concoction?¡± Sliding a Gin bomb towards the new guy as he walks in, eyes wondrously wandering to get a feel for every inch of this pub. And after a Gin bomb he decides to explore the bathrooms. Ah there¡¯s no plumbing¡­I¡¯ll have to sort that out soon. Making drinks behind the bar using whatever I desire and giving my experiments away as an opening gift, relieves more than a few hours of my time. While concocting happens, I also try learning bar flair, using some very very old memories to help me through, and have a few meals from the menu. Turns out the cooking crew had little problem getting the meals done correctly once I implanted the knowledge in head cook¡¯s brain and let her teach everyone else. Burritos and pulled pork nachos are the best. Although they don¡¯t taste as nice as I remember, fucking mind. ¡°Hey¡± Catching a bottle mid-flip, I look past the bar to see Thessa standing impatiently, finger tapping on the bar. ¡°What would you like?¡± ¡°Anything but whatever you made before¡± Guess I¡¯ll give you a little bitch drink then. Grabbing a long glass, half filling it with ice, I pour Southern Comfort until it drowns the ice and top it off with some lemonade. Passing it to her, she gives it a sniff and then a small sip. And then a big gulp. ¡°This, this is amazing!¡± She¡¯s finished it off already, and I''m supposed to be the alcoholic. ¡°What is this?¡± ¡°Whisky and lemonade, it¡¯s a relaxing drink for the posh and the pretty¡± and for those who you¡¯re trying to get into the drinking life¡­Works excellently. ¡°More¡± No please? ah wait no such thing in this world. that was hell of a habit to kick. Rolling my eyes, I make her another, flipping the open bottle in the air and catching all in the glass. Just a little bit of anti-gravity magic and it¡¯s so much easier to do. ¡°You¡¯re bleeding¡± Ah shit, nosebleed. ¡°Why are you bleeding?¡± ¡°Magic overuse¡± To get to bleeding though, that¡¯s a stage I thought I wouldn¡¯t be at already. She just looks at me blankly. Why am I stuck with all the dim-witted people who know shit about the world? Mute Barrier, Physical distortion barrier I just made the nosebleed worse. ¡°Magic is like burning energy when you do a physical activity. It consumes you. Rapidly. And it will do so as long as you use it until you¡¯re nothing but a dry husk. It¡¯s how liches are made.¡± ¡°Liches?¡± My eyes are going to get stuck again from rolling them. ¡°Mages who overused their magic until it literally consumed everything but their bones. Come on you must¡¯ve heard about them. They are the leaders of all undead armies. Dreaded monsters over all kingdoms due to their incomprehensible power over magic.¡± ¡°Undead are just myths¡± You were this close to becoming one. ¡°They¡¯re extremely real and disturbing. Anyways back to liches. All mages who overuse their power and only get drained by it, not killed, will become liches. Became a real problem with the Third Blight Spread when all the court mages got lich-drained and then the whole kingdom had an army of liches against them. If you ever meet a lich, you¡¯ll have an inkling of how terrifying the notion of one thousand banded together is. Anyway,one of the signs of overusing magic is bleeding, usually from the nose but with more overuse it comes from the eyes, ass and literally any hole in your body, sometimes even making holes¡± ¡°¡­Disturbing¡± ¡°Indeed, but the body can be replenished naturally, or through alchemical devices such as mana potions or more commonly, food¡± ¡°So do all mages eat as much as you?¡± That sounded ever so slightly like an insult. ¡°In all honesty no, because most mages often had mana potions on hand for recovery after battles and dragging lots of food around is annoying, but I prefer eating.¡± Plus mana potions are addictive¡­ And thinking about food, I take three fresh burritos coming out of the kitchen, freaking out the waitress as she doesn''t exactly see me due to my physicaldistortian barrier,and devour it in one bite. Mmm they¡¯re improving. Thessa is still staring at me, empty glass and a slightly worried look in her eyes ¡°Don¡¯t worry about me, I¡¯ve learnt my limit and I won¡¯t be turning myself into a dry husk anytime soon. Rather it¡¯s more likely you¡¯ll turn into one¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Because if I ever need to cast a hefty spell, I¡¯ll be using my surroundings to help¡± ¡°And I count?¡± ¡°Yep¡± Sucking on the bottom of my glass, time for a refill. ¡°So what, you¡¯ll suck the mana out of me? I don¡¯t even have mana" Oh the naivety. ¡°All living things do, bar a few extraplanar manaless monsters. Some people have more than others, such as elves will naturally have more than humans but even goblins can learn magic if they tap into their pool¡± ¡°If it were that easy why doesn¡¯t everyone have magic?¡± ¡°Mana is like blood, take it out at the wrong place and you¡¯ll die faster than you can blink. It¡¯s why about fourty percent of apprentices die from incorrect mana dispersal¡± and eighty percent of the survivors from fucking up their spells. ¡°...¡± ¡°Actually do you want to learn some magic?¡± getting kind of bored from the bar flair, it¡¯s too easy. ¡°After telling me there¡¯s a pretty good chance I¡¯ll die from it?¡± She gives me a ''are you kidding'' look. very pretty, and it has been over fifty years... ¡°If you learn how to control it, you can stop it from leaving you when I¡¯m taking from the surroundings¡­¡± Honestly all mages should¡¯ve learnt it in but bloody nobles and their court wizards and coteries. ¡°¡­Well where do we start? What kind of magic can I even cast?¡± Back to basics because I¡¯m speaking to a moron in magic. ¡°Every kind. Magic is universal, why would you think in the first place that you can only cast one kind?¡± ¡°But my mother told me that elves used life and earth magic, to commune with the trees and help things grow.¡± So she¡¯s not completely inane towards the subject. That¡¯ll be slightly helpful? ¡°Society dictates what magic is learnt and what isn¡¯t. It¡¯s like how humans didn¡¯t learn druidic magic because they were simply told it was impossible. Human druids are a thing, rare they were but they were a thing¡± Blank look,ofcourse you have no idea what a druid is ¡°If you have mana, you can learn all types of magic as long as you don¡¯t do the stupid thing of refining your mana into a certain attribute. I¡¯ll get to that a long time later.¡± ¡°Attributes, like life and earth?¡± ¡°Exactly, there are vaguely around fourteen main attributes which can be further refined into thousands more and yes certain races have better affinity towards certain attributes like how Drows have an affinity to dark magic and an incompatability towards light magic.¡± Ignoring her blanks looks now or i will be rolling my eyes into the back of my head.This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. Drow priests are the best kind of priests from what I¡¯ve learnt. Holy yet no mercy when verbally ripping into you. Man I wonder where D¡¯aluk?in is. ¡°So what affinity do I have for being a half elf?¡± ¡°Doesn¡¯t matter, because real mages don¡¯t give a damn about affinities. You just need to learn how to cast¡± I refill her drink and pour myself another Ginerine. She raises her hands in a ¡®so what now¡¯ gesture. I poke the tip of her finger with a cocktail umbrella. ¡°Magic is complicated, it can be cast in a variety of ways. What I¡¯m going to show you is blood magic. The simplest by far¡± She raises her eyebrows at me, playing with her welling finger. Well I¡¯d imagine anyone would look at me suspiciously since blood magic doesn¡¯t exactly sound friendly. ¡°Now mana is a part of you, and more importantly is mixed in your blood. But you can¡¯t just cut yourself and pour it out, because then you¡¯ll just have blood.¡± ¡°So¡­?¡± ¡°Find your mana pool, and squeeze it out, as if you were squeezing the blood out¡± She closes her eyes and scrunches up her face. It¡¯s been a long time since I¡¯ve seen someone do something as idiotic as that. concentrate with your mind not your face. Activating my mana eyes, indeed she¡¯s got quite the pool, especially as it hasn¡¯t been used before. Maybe her father is an elf, would explain quite a few things about her. ¡°Think of it as a nest of snakes that sleep in your stomach. Imagine them wriggling around, one moving up and towards the opening in your finger¡± Still nothing, time for a little help then. Grabbing her left shoulder, I send a small wisp of mana across her collarbone multiple times, just so she can get the feel of what it is like. Something I learnt long ago is that most mages ¡®awakened¡¯ on the battlefield, usually when attacked by an enemy mage. The feeling of mana lingered for a while and those who focused on the feeling usually found their own pool due and played about with it. And died due to that,but then that''s life. Sure enough, I see the tiniest wisp of mana slowly travel up, through the heart and towards the arm. Within a short time, it stops at the edge of the wound, refusing to leave. ¡°Tug it, like you¡¯re removing a splinter, tug it firmly but not enough to do more damage¡± *Spurt* Blood splatters across the bar and me, a bloodied finger swilling in my drink. Nobodyever succeeds on the first try. ¡°Aaaagh¡± She gnashes her teeth, holding her 4 fingered hand to try stem the bleeding. ¡°That was the barest wisp of mana, now imagine if I ripped all your mana out of you at once¡± She shudders visibly, an inkling of understanding brimming her eyes. Grabbing her hand, I cast regenerate and cough some blood onto her. Quid pro quo. ¡°Now, usually with blood magic you don¡¯t want it to just spurt out your finger like that. Most blood magic users cast rituals¡± I begin inscribing a tree on the counter, roots facing her. ¡°A ritual has three main components to it¡± She stops playing with her newly regenerated finger and pays attention once more. ¡°The Gate is the first part. It opens up contact with the desired affinity and diety. It is also their hieroglyphic symbol.¡± I point to the newly made tree with countless roots and one branch, encompassed in a circle. ¡°So this is life?¡± ¡°Earth, Yegdrra is its name. now most people will just draw this, with a differing number of branches in relation to how complicated the spell is but if you really want to be efficient it needs to be as realistic as can be to Yegdrra¡± ¡°Yegdrra¡¯s a tree?¡± ¡°Technically yes, in actuality, that is just the head. Moving on¡± I stop her before this gets seriously off track ¡°The second thing in rituals are the runic symbols which dictate the spells components. For Yegdrra, each branch is a spot for a symbol.¡± Drawing the symbol for stone, linked to the branch, I make sure to get the strokes correct or I¡¯d be summoning a boulder. ¡°This is the symbol for stone¡± ¡°How do I know the symbols¡± ¡°Books, knowledge, asking the gods. It¡¯s their language, we just use their alphabet.¡± ¡°This doesn¡¯t seem easy¡± ¡°No it isn¡¯t. this is why rituals are the least efficient and most difficult to do out of all casting types. But it¡¯s also the safest¡± She replies with a raised eyebrow. ¡°The third part is the blood itself. It is used to fill the inscription, like this¡± Placing my finger on the circle, I force my mana and blood to push through the cell walls, trickling out from underneath my index nail. ¡°Use your mana to push the blood around, as you may notice this is flat so gravity won¡¯t do much to fill everything¡± ¡°That¡¯s a lot of blood¡± She exclaims as the small inscription, which is only the size of my hand, fills up. ¡°Blood magic, not efficient, and definitely not for one to do by themselves. Mainly a cult practice by the dozens if not hundreds. Taking the blood from others also works¡± And that¡¯s why a lot of people didn¡¯t like blood magic, nasty thing if used by the wrong people. and i don''t think I know more than two people who didn''t use it for ''evil''. Finally, I fill the inscription, feeling slightly lightheaded, ah my regeneration is getting slower. ¡­ .. . ¡°Now what?¡± She¡¯s staring at the blood filled inscription which is currently doing nothing. ¡°We wait. Once the blood is dry the ritual will be complete¡± ¡°Why would anyone in their right mind use this?¡± Yeah it is basically useless. ¡°Because you don¡¯t need any sort of skill whatsoever to do it. Plus most who do use it aren¡¯t in their right mind.¡± ¡°Noted¡± Using a bit of flame magic to heat and dry the blood, it dries within a minute and before our eyes, the inscription and blood congeals and disappears together into a brown rock about the size of my hand. ¡°Voila, I just created a rock out of my blood and mana. Technically rituals are for summoning since this has basically no use in combat situations, technically.¡± She¡¯s just entranced with the new rock and probably didn''t catch any of that. Well I guess it is pretty cool. ¡°Right your turn¡± ¡°Wait a second, I¡¯ll just blow my finger off again¡± ¡°And then I¡¯ll regenerate it¡± With a tsch, she shakily draws out the inscription with a knife, fully concentrating on trying to recreate the tree. ¡°Just draw a tree, it¡¯s not going to be efficient anyway¡± Giving up on trying to copy, she makes roughly the same tree, one branch and a few roots. After reminding her what stone looks like, she draws that too and now for the bloody part. *Spurt* Finger in my god damn drink again. And I just made another bloody drink too. ¡°Don¡¯t stop bleeding on it, just focus the blood on the circle¡± Grabbing her hand as she tries to pull it away from the spattered mess that is all over the bar, I place it on the circle. ¡°Once a ritual starts, you finish it or it will cast with whatever little you did to it. If you stop giving, it will count as finished and the excess will be rejected. And a finished yet messy ritual is ALWAYS better than an unfinished one¡± ¡°But isn¡¯t it ruined sinceI bled all over it?¡± ¡°The drawing and the cleanliness just improves the efficiency of the spell, as does the quality of mana in your blood, but you don¡¯t need to worry about any of that right now¡± Stopping her bleeding after another few seconds, I regenerate her finger, coughing my own blood away from the ritual and start drying. Hmm there¡¯s only a little bit of mana but that¡¯s about the average amount if you just cut a human¡¯s throat and let them bleed all over it. Within a minute, the blood and inscription coalesces into multiple messy pebbles scattered around. ¡°The less efficient you are the worse your spell will come out. If you were trying to summon an arch-devil, you¡¯d probably get a blood worm with this, maybe¡± Eh I''d doubt even that, maybe a wisp of hell-fire smoke. ¡°Thanks¡± bitterly sarcastic. ¡°But well done anyways, you can now cast magic. Or well at least you now get the idea that if you just tried to make a fireball, you¡¯d be blasting it and all your innards out of our body.¡± ¡°Disgusting¡± ¡°Indeed¡± Seen it happen too, not pretty and I¡¯ve seen some nasty things. ¡°Now I¡¯m going to show you why rituals are pretty damn useful, once I¡¯ve gotten something to eat.¡± Jumping into the kitchen and scoffing a few dozen meals, I get back to the bar. And has my bleeding stopped...yep that''s good. Inscribing a large Life gate, branching out into four different smaller different gates through miniature babies of all kinds, then writing the few symbols I need in each gate¡¯s respective ¡®branch¡¯; Lemon, Cinnamon, Cloves, Cherries, Oranges and Vanilla inside the scarecrows on Ferra¡¯s Field, Ice on the snow particle in Wakchar¡¯s Blizzard, Sand and Fire embedded in the logs surrounding Carlak¡¯s Campfire and Bungrop inscribed on the cask kept in Yaidors Inn. And now for the depressingly time consuming times. Giving everything a certain weight, height, volume, width, shape, density, ripeness and other annoying properties that I guess would be good to put, as well as its chemical compound which I do skip this time. Then I write the processes between the ¡®branches¡¯ and their gates, so using fire on the sand to make a glass of this shape and properties. I believe that¡¯s the only one this time¡­yep. Throwing everything else into Yegdrra¡¯s Tree, I make sure the glass remains separate, ice goes into it and doesn¡¯t become part of it and then the drink goes in. ¡­ .. . Shit, this is going to cost me a lot. Fuck it, been a while since I¡¯ve done an interesting ritual. Slicing my finger open, I make sure to fill it in order of process, so everything on the outer gates happen first and then go to the main one to become a single thing. Leaving the blood to dry naturally, I just about finish filling it within the thirty minute mark, even downing a few bottles behind the bar to give me a temporary boost in mana. Useful but not as good as food,although in times of need it¡¯s pretty useful. However this is going to be a bitch in a few hours¡­ Taking a break once I¡¯m done, Snacking on a twenty person pulled pork nacho plate and being told that I¡¯ve eaten all the stores already¡­well great. Silently, the blood dries and everything snakes together into a small pillar of blood and symbols until it just fades away. ¡°¡­Is that a drink?¡± ¡°Yep¡± I top up the newly made drink with lemonade. ¡°Taste it¡± She takes the glass and looks at me most oddly ¡°You aged almost fifty years, and are bleeding from your eyes quite heavily¡­to make a drink¡± ¡°I told you rituals aren¡¯t efficient, that¡¯s fifty people¡¯s lives right there. But imagine the possibilities¡± I can see the gears clicking. Yes it¡¯s inefficient but with only few limitations you can create anything. ¡°Gugh this is bitter¡± Ah forgot the sweetener. Honey honey honey? Aha there it is. Pouring some in, I have her drink again. ¡°Better, but it¡¯s still not as sweet as the southern comfort¡± ¡°That¡¯s because I used Bungrop, kind of like this world¡¯s bourbon but more bitter, way more bitter¡± Orcish brewers, strong stuff and surprisingly sought out by some major drinkers. She drinks in thoughtful silence. ¡°You¡¯re not a normal mage are you?¡± ¡°Now what gave you that idea?¡± Day 3, Playing with Magic
Day 3, Kingdom of Arun vs Britain
Larios vs Ashcombe & Ideford Rintash vs Albert Village Yedgar vs Derby Cailash vs Addington Fordir vs Barlow Raravale vs Blackley
Teleported once again, but at least this time I wasn¡¯t mid-meal. And back to shitty burnt down Larios with a single field of wheat, so defending again, I get it: it''s a rotation. Since I¡¯m here might as well feed them. ¡°KILL THEM¡± Bursting from the woods is a contingent of farmers, shotguns and pitchforks at the ready. ¡°YAAAH¡± Another group pour from the opposite side similarly equipped. Guns cocked to fire. ¡°STOP¡± My command stops all in their tracks. Phew that was close, don¡¯t want them trampling my seeds. ¡°You will all fight this woman one at a time. If you manage to kill her I will surrender but if you don¡¯t want to do that I can just kill you all right now¡± ¡­ .. . Oh right, they¡¯re being held by my command. Releasing it along with a wave of killing intent, many piss their pants but none collapse outright. ¡°Who is first?¡± ¡°I sur-¡±
Enemies left: 2,351 Allies left: 2
*BANG* *Ding* and so that begins ¡°Who else wants to try surrendering?¡± A collective gulp echoes across the plains. Ah I hate cerebral explosion, too inefficient. Casually wiping off the blood trickling down my nose, I stare at my enemies. ¡°Me. I¡¯ll be first¡± A burly man, sun-scorched and hands coarse as hemp rope stomps forward, carrying a double barrelled shotgun. I sit on the ground and give a wave ¡°Begin¡± Thessa ducks under the first buckshot, jumping to the right for the second and charges straight at the man, knife thrusting up his chin while he tried to reload. ¡°Next¡± I stand up, already seeing how this is going to go and head towards my soon to be growingwheat field. Shattering the silence is another gunshot, followed by the unmistakable grunt of a dying fool. ¡°Next¡± Placing my hand on the soil, feeling the budding sprouts I wonder what would be best for them. *Thunk* ¡°Next¡± Hmm, yes I should do that. Turning back round just in time to see Thessa¡¯s knife sink deeply into a teenager¡¯s eye, I waltz over. *DingDing* cowards ¡°groups of five now¡± hoisting the teenager¡¯s corpse onto my shoulder, I lay him on the soil in the field. The battle is harder than before, especially as the first group is five shotguns. Smart choice. A thunderous crackle shakes the plains, and five charred men wail relentlessly at their blackened fingers. Quickly rushing up to them she cuts their throats with due haste, ending that particular battle. ¡°She knows magic?¡± Someone cries out rather stupidly. Of course this is a magic world after all. ¡°Next¡± This group has only farming equipment with enough wood to probably ground any lightning, sort of. Little do they know that particular ritual was a once off. Taking out her bow for the first time, she strings it and knocks an arrow before they¡¯ve even made the thirty foot distance between them. *Ding* Simply outpacing and peppering them with arrows, all die within a good minute. ¡°Next¡± This may take a while. Switching her knife hands as a mixed group of shotguns and pitchforks challenge her, she slams the ground with her open palm.This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there. Immediately vines spring out, biting into the legs of the farmers and rooting them in place. Now it¡¯s simply her job to go around where they can¡¯t aim properly and stab them in the back. Took about two minutes. *DingDingDing* Oh I hate this noise with a passion. Hmm, I guess she is a hunter so putting her into fairish fights like this where she¡¯s outnumbered and outgunned isn¡¯t exactly her kind of fight. Still, I¡¯d like to see a little less using my rituals and using her skills instead. ¡°Next¡± Ignoring the next fight where she immediately takes out the shotgunner and kites the melee, I begin picking up the scattered bodies earnestly, lying them down in the soil between the furrows. And that¡¯s a fifth gasp. This is going to take forever. ¡°Groups of ten¡± Thessa gives me the evil eye as she pants, bleeding lightly from a few lucky nicks. It¡¯s only ten people, come on, they¡¯re not even proper soldiers. Before the next battle starts, she rips the right hand sleeve of her shirt, revealing a small ritual inscribed on her shoulder. Should have done that a while ago. Ten shotguns this time too. If they spread fire she¡¯d almost definitely get hit. *BANGBANGBANGBANG* And that¡¯s two bullets in her, yes it hurts doesn¡¯t it. *Ding* Seriously cowards, stop running. It''s actually rather painful for me. After a second almost concerted volley, a bullet shatters her right femur and she collapses on the ground. You haven¡¯t even killed a hundred yet Thessa, get up. All of them spend their time reloading, while she scrunches her face in effort, and they inch closer, surrounding her in point blank range. They want to make sure the next ones hit. ¡­ .. .
VICTORY!
The battle between Larios (Village) and Ashcombe (Village) & Ideford (Village) has ended.
Yeah yea whatever, delete you annoying blue screen. Idiots¡­ Wiping brain matter off my face, I see the large radius of bodies blown to bits and strewn around the plains. Fun fact about inscribing on your skin, blood dries a lot faster, especially due to the wind and clothes. Nowhere near as good as a spell but then again anyone could be inscribed, all they needed was a bit of sacrificed blood to trigger it. ¡°What¡­what happened?¡± Thessa lies face to the floor, entrails slowly sliding down her face. ¡°Living bomb. Infamous terror tactics used by the Kingdom of Sieis. Fill up a person with magic, then they¡¯ll explode in a crowded market and¡­¡± I gesture to the destruction wrought around her. Multiple thousands of people dead, and it was a messy ritual too. If it were a real living bomb¡­ ¡°That was a ritual?¡± ¡°Yes, now focus on pouring into your other rituals or you may die from the giant hole in your back¡± The ritual was a slightly better version since it usually didn¡¯t kill the user outright, but they needed some sort of mana control¡­which she doesn¡¯t truly have at the moment. Sending a small rejuvenation her way to make sure she doesn¡¯t just die then and there, I watch carefully as she wriggles her little snakes of mana to the many bleeding exits of her body, transferring them to the regeneration inscriptions carved onto her body. As her body runs low on blood to give, the inscriptions quickly dry up and cast. Quickly restoring her body to a stable condition. ¡°That was way too close to death¡± ¡°Yep¡± ¡°Why did you give me a giant bomb on my back and tell me it would save my life if i poured mana into it?¡± ¡°It did, and it also gave you the opportunity to learn mana control under the pressure of life and death¡± ¡°¡­I still could¡¯ve died¡± True. ¡°And you didn¡¯t, congratulations. Still, poor effort on the fighting¡± ¡°I¡¯m a hunter, I¡¯m not made to fight in these conditions, let alone outnumbered¡± She huffs at me. Once again true. ¡°Well there is only two of us.¡± ¡°You, the mage who is scarily strong and me. Why do you even need me?¡± ¡°Because it¡¯s boring being powerful, it was way more enjoyable to watch you fight¡± Well not really but it would¡¯ve been more depressing to just end it myself at the beginning. ¡°Right. Shouldn¡¯t I be dead?¡± She looks at her body, which although I said was at a stable condition, multiple organs can be seen from the large holes in the skin. ¡°About that¡± I believe may have fucked up a little. ¡°Didn¡¯t you revive me? Is that like screwing my system or something¡± ¡°Well when I cast a full revive on you which brought your soul back as well as fixing your body- ¡°What¡¯s wrong with that?¡± ¡°There was a teeny tiny chance that the spell didn¡¯t cleanse your soul from the damnation that it had entered¡± ¡°So what, I¡¯m undead?¡± ¡°Technically no¡± ¡°Technically¡± And she¡¯s slightly pissed. ¡°You¡¯re living and breathing and have living needs. But you also have the constitution of an undead¡­and if your living side dies, you¡¯ll become a lich¡± ¡­ .. . ¡°Wait a second, didn¡¯t you say liches were the overused husks of mages?¡± ¡°As with all rules there are exceptions. One being an undead with innate magical abilities and another being a revived person whose soul wasn¡¯t cleansed from death and has learn to harness their magic¡± I really fucked this one. But I was so sure that I properly revived her. Haah this is what I get for force RNGing my spells like an absolute twat. Can¡¯t believe I made that permanent too. ¡°I¡¯m an undead¡± ¡°Not until you die¡± ¡°I¡¯m immortal¡± ¡°As long as you don¡¯t die as an undead¡± ¡°So I will become an undead no matter what¡± ¡°Indeed. But I can always cleanse you before then¡± ¡°Then bloody cleanse me now¡± ¡°Well I kind of need direct access to your soul, which means I¡¯d have to tear it out your body¡± ¡°¡­Why did you even revive me¡± ¡°I actually revived the innkeepers daughter first but she was super annoying and being completely alone is extremely dull¡± ¡°Great¡± She storms off in a huff. Being a lich isn¡¯t so bad, I mean yeah you have zero feelings and no taste buds, an innate desire to kill all living beings on the earth and no flesh but¡­yeah there really wasn¡¯t any perks to being a lich. Grabbing a surviving shovel, I begin scooping up the bloody remains and tossing them into the field. Takes quite a while, even for me; over two thousand bodies splattered around the area takes quite some time to clean up. And the perpetrator of the mess is sulking in a corner because she found out that she¡¯s Harrowed. Guess it wouldn¡¯t help to tell her it was extremely common when I first came here. I died week two, fucking lizardmen. What an odd fucking life that was; being given the mark of the Harrowed to signify that you must be burnt to ashes if killed again, with prejudice since I had a Lich-Harrowed Mark. Not even your worst enemy would leave you unburnt, probably because it was folk lore that the risen zombie would come for their killer first and make them one of their own. That reminds me. ¡°Thessa come here¡± She turns to look at me seriously ¡°Thessa¡¯s dead¡± ¡°Oh stop being a soppy bitch, you¡¯re alive. Yes you look like you¡¯re on deaths door but you haven¡¯t crossed yet.¡± ¡°And then I¡¯ll be roaming around as a zombie when I do¡± She turns back to stare at the red barrier, hand placed against it wonderingly. I should definitely heal the massive hole in her back¡­ ¡°Lich, they¡¯re way more important and from there it¡¯s not impossible to become normal again¡± I guess no one wants to be undead, even if they don''t really understand what it''s like. That got her attention. She turns and simply raises one questioning eyebrow. ¡°You have to cleanse yourself and then a self revive. That¡¯s putting it simply¡± Usually a properly done full revive with maximum precautions would¡¯ve done the trick¡­but RNG spells are my accidental curse. ¡°¡­Just who the hell are you?¡± ¡°I told you, I¡¯m the Hero, the one and the only¡± ¡°Ok so you¡¯re a hero then? Save the world from evil kind?¡± ¡°Meh, I¡¯d just stick with saved the world¡± and well I kind of fucked it up a few times but one thing a time. ¡°Well Mr Hero¡± Almost childishly she punctuates ¡°There¡¯s a whole world for you to save, so go on and save it¡± ¡°Yeah yeah, how about we begin by cleaning the place"Igive her aburning slap at the back of her neck."If you would¡± *Snap* Ah that¡¯s right, the perk of being a lich. Total and utter innate control and knoweldge over the dead and undead. The corpse pieces begin shuffling together as a singular globular mass towards the field. I just made a lich¡­shit.