《Spooky ☆ Scary》 Episode one: First day You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story. Episode two: Second day I awake with a slight start in my own bed. Moistened by the usually night sweats, and with only a vague memory of the night before, I turn my head toward the clock only to find its face blocked from view by one of mom''s dirty underwear. Figures... well at least I can tell it''s morning already by the thin stream of sunlight coming into my room from between the curtains. Its bright beam illuminating but a small fraction of the old pizza boxes and anime merchandise which litters and lurks the dark, cluttered room. I can''t help but feel a slight feeling of safety and refuge from being in my own space again when suddenly, and without warning, images of everything that had happened hits me like a trauma induced rectal prolapse. Straightaway, I bolt upright and thrust my hands into view. Relief flows warm and sticky over me when I see that my hand are the same pale dainty, lady fingers they''ve alway been. "Ha... haha... no skeleton hands." I tell myself underneath a whisper. Just to be sure, however, I proceed to check the rest of my body. Again to my relief, I find no sign of bone anywhere, even my man-titties are as full and supple as they''ve always been beneath my jammy top. I guess it was a dream after all. No Paul, no girl in black, and definitely no skeleton war. My life goes on like it always has... Before the disappointment produced by that last thought has a chance to overcome my relief, I make my way to the bathroom for my morning leak. Standing in front of the toilet bowl with the kind of high class regality only found in golden shower sessions, I begin to¡ª... Hmm? Wait... w-what''s this? Where''s my dick!? I frantically feel around my waist and groin in search of my penis but to no avail. Only a flat plain of skin remains in the space where my schlong used to be. In a sudden burst of autistic rage, I violently rip my anime jammies from my body, like a Jew renting his garment, before proceeding to grab hold of my now exposed nipples. With immense force, I twist them letting the pain (and low-key excitement) surge my body as I screech from the top of my lungs. "REEEEEEEEEEEEE¡ª!!" Rings out my glorious warcry. In my denial, I figured the pain would wake me from whatever nightmare I''m in, but of course, I have no such luck. Soon my throat grows tired from screeching, and I''m left with nothing but sore nipples and a ruined pair of pyjamas. I sink to the floor and lay there naked in quiet despair. There''s no way... This can''t be happening... H-how am I going to tell my waifus? I glare at the pale fleshy pad where my egg-roll once resided, and let out a deep sigh of defeat. What kind of fate is this? "A-are you done, Mi''lord?" Softly speaks a disembodied voice. That voice... I know that voice... "Up here. In the mirror." Speaks the familiar voice again. Obliging, I get up, out of the foetal position, and reluctantly make my way toward the sink mirror. At this point, a plethora of thoughts and ideas are now beginning to race through my mind, but they''re quickly put to rest as soon as I saw, in place of my own reflection, the girl from my dream standing in the mirror. "I knew you were going to be shocked" she said "...but what the hell was that?" I feel my body fills with distain and distrust as I blame her for all of my problems. "You..." I respond, somehow coming off slightly feminine in pitch. "The hell is going on!? Where is my penis!?" "Are you so blind? Isn''t it obvious?" ... "No, it isn''t." She gives me a blank expression. "After your original body was destroyed yesterday, I used one of my spells to give you mine in order to hide your true form from prying eyes. Worry not, however, even though your bones are inside my body, you have full control and sensation of it." ... "That made no sense at all. Where''s my peepee?" "I''m afraid it''s gone. Naturally, it comes with the fact¡ª..." "What do mean it''s gone? You bring it back right now! I know you got it tucked in somewhere, you witch." "Mi''lord, the only body I can give you is my own, a-and unfortunately I don''t¡ª...." "I don''t care! I''m a man with man parts, and I can''t be going¡ª..." All of the sudden, I''m cut off mid-sentence as my arms, without my control, lift themselves up and grab onto my reddening nipples once again before twisting with the same level of immensity as before. I let out a cry and fall back down to the floor. For a brief moment, my possessed hands loosened their grip only to tighten back up again and continue twisting. This goes on to turn into a cycle of rest and twist, occurring now in regular intervals. All the while, amongst my cries and questionable moans, the mysterious girl is shouting in tandem to these spikes of intensity. "You!" Twist. "Are!" Twist. "A!" Twist. "Girl!" Twist. I lady-nut at his point. "Now!" Twist "Do you understand now!?" "Harder¡ª... err.. I mean, yeah. I got it." I answer weakly, now reduced fully to the floor. "Good." I hear her bark back, only now realising that her responses was coming out of my mouth the entire time. "That hurts me too, so I don''t want to keep doing that okay?" "O-okay..." "Anyway, we''re going to be late to class. Lets just get ready for now. I''ll explain everything on the way." Too scared to resist, I promptly obliged and quietly go through the rest of my morning routine, gradually getting used to my new body. I always thought that suddenly turning into a highschool girl would be pretty lewd but it''s not what I imagined at all. I feel no better than I did before, I''m shorter and have to pee sitting down from now on. I feel lied to by the gender-bender genre. Either way, I have no idea how I''m going to go about my daily life as a female but I figured my life couldn''t get much worse anyway, so I''ll just go with it I guess. My normal school clothes weren''t going to fit me now but fortunately, mom has a whole collection of school girl cosplays, so I just wore one closest to my school''s. Having inserted myself into the daily routine, I inattentively walk downstairs to greet my mother who sat calmly at the breakfast table. "You''ll be late." She says coldly, "I put your lunch in a¡ª... W-who are you?" Just processing her question, I''m hit with realisation that of course she not going know it''s me. As she sits there glaring at me questioningly, my mind goes into overdrive looking for a means I can talk myself out of the situation. "It''s me, Ojo" I utter impulsively, "I''ve magically been reborn into a girl, and am now your daughter. I''m going to borrow your clothes." "Daughter...? I-I have a daughter?" she says, her eyes beginning to brighten. "I-I''m going to go now." "Oh okay then. Have a great day... s-sweetheart..." I grab my bento box and head out for class. That was pretty weird but luckily, she took the situation rather well. She must''ve taken her Edronax early this morning. Right now, however, there are still some things I need explaining. "Alright, I need some answers. Tell me who you are and what''s going on." I say, attempting to sound stern. "Ah, forgive me for my lack of introduction. My name is Yuri Kokowamihoboshi, I am an ancient ghost tasked, by my old master, to roam the earth in search of you, Rodomowo-sama, the Skeleton king." "The Skeleton king?" "That''s right, ever since the beginning of death, the dead have been looking for a dry place to call their home, trying to find some place to rest their bones. A place where they can live in peace, but due to their nature as undead, this can be a chaotic and unpredictable process, and an often consequential one at that. For this reason, they are watched over and kept by the Skeleton King who leads them to their eternal rest. Even the dead need a leader." "And what about this skeleton war that you mentioned before." "That is something that comes as a result of the death of the Skeleton King. With no leader, the ancient skeletons rise up from the earth in search of calcium and conquest of the surface world. The last war happened back in the 15th century. The skelington ranks rose up from the sand and conquered the ancient holy land but conquest was short lived as they were soon defeated by the pope''s forces. Since then a Skeleton king had been chosen, keeping the undead uprising at bay. He is the one you call the Grim Reaper." "Wait a minute, skeleton war? Undead ranks? What does any of this have to do with me? I''m just normal living person." "Are you really? A true greatness is not chosen, it is born!" "That''s an Avatar quote, I''m sure." "Face it, Rodomowo-sama! Look into yourself! Don''t you realise? The only reason why you can''t think of a time when you weren''t dead inside is because you were always dead inside!" I fall to my knees and punch the dirt I''m forced acceptance. "Dammit! You''re right!" I shout. "All this time, I thought I was fat but all along, I''ve just been big boned." "I think you really were just fat." She retorts Even now, I die a little more inside... it must be true. "What must I do, to fulfil my destiny." "For now, just blend in. The time will come when you will need to reveal yourself. You will know when that time comes." I furrow my brow at the vagueness of her words. It is as though it was written by someone who doesn''t know how to write proper dialogue... or plot. That aside, I put into account her words. Blending in should be easy. After a claustrophobic, rape-filled train ride, I finally arrive at school. I sit at my seat by the window. I looked down to see the gardener up to his usual antics. I look back up to see literally the entire class staring cautiously at me, the only exception is a comatose Chuchisuchi-chan propped up at the front. Everyone then turns back around to the front as the teacher cheerfully walks into the room. "Oheho gusaimasu, mina-san!" She sings "Unfortunately, I have some terribly sad news! 79% of our school''s students were caught in the explosion last night and were violently destroyed by the flames! This includes mature student Paul-san from this class, and recent transfer student, Rodomow¡ª... oh!" She shoots a quizzical glance at my direction. "And who might you be?" She asks in that same bubbly tone. Being put on the spot by the only authority in the room, everyone spins their head around to face me. A malnourished girl swivels Chuchisushi-chan''s wheelchair toward me. Once again, it comes to my attention that in this body no one recognises me, well wait, no one would really recognise me anyway, I''ve only been here one goddamn day. So then what''s their problem? Maybe they really are xenophobes. Either way I have to think of something fast. If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. "Uh... It''s me Ojo. My body was destroyed but I got a new one thanks to meme magic!" ... "Oh... well, you look very kawaii in that uniform." She says smiling "T-thanks..." Somehow having satisfied everyone''s curiosity, they turn back around as the teacher gets ready to continue with the announcements. "Now as you all know, due to certain circumstances, our beloved student council president, Chuchisushi-san, is unable to... fulfil her responsibilities. So, we''ll be having a new one! Isn''t that exciting?" No one says anything for fear of getting beat by their conformist cuck parents. The teacher spins on her heel and animatedly waves someone to walk in. At which point does the classroom door slides open and in walks a girl adorned in an intricate white uniform. Her long blonde hair flowing freely, yet disciplined and unintrusive of her delicate, smiling white face. A damn near perfect sight were it not for the out-of-place leather eyepatch that covers her left eye. Almost everyone in the room sits in aw of her demonstration of elegance and comme il faut. She reaches the centre where she spins and stand uprightly toward the class. "Maria Von Uberschlingler is an exchange student all the way from Germany! Not only will she be our new student council president, but she will be joining this class" Says the teacher. "Thank you" Maria adds, her voice flowing like running water "I hope to be good president to you all." She bows with a curtsy as nearly everyone in the class bursts into a standing ovation. The malnourished girl, in her excitement, accidentally knocks Chuchisushi-chan''s wheelchair across the class which rolls through an open window and crashes into the shed below. The gardener''s audible rejoices adds to the obliviously joyous throng of the room. Why weren''t they this excited when came into class? She didn''t even make a joke. Suddenly, my eyes meet up with hers from across the class. She gives me a graceful yet subtle smile, I quickly avert my eyes. My new vagina quivers in a strange and unpleasant way. Somehow, I know she cannot be trusted, and I become more wary of her presence. Is this how female intuition works? "I Have a bad feeling about her as well." Says Kokowamihoboshi. "You think so?" I respond, bowing my head to avoid being noticed "Yeah. It''s her last name, I recognise that family. But I can''t quite place it. Either way, let us be careful around her." "Got it. Most people avoid me anyway, so that should be eas¡ª" "Who are you talking to?" Speaks a calm, becoming voice. I jerk my head to find the new girl sitting at the desk beside me. She must of sat down while I was preoccupied. Wait, why is she sitting next to me? What happened to the faggot who used to sit there? It is then that I noticed the same skinny twink sat in the back, in the seat where she would''ve been. Dammit, cuck junior must''ve given up his place for her. Crap, now what? Act natural. "N-nobody... J-just reciting a funny meme I read..." I say, eyes fixed firmly on my desk. "I''m sorry, a what?" She shoots back befuddled. A meme, you dip! You don''t even know? What kind of casual browsing scum are you? Go back to Facebook and get Zucc''d of all OC. "It''s... n-nothing..." "Oh, I see... Well, my name is Maria, it''s very nice to meet you" She holds out her hand to greet me. I clap her hand in response. "D-don''t you mean rice to meet you?" Her smile disappears, she sits back, and doesn''t interact with me for the rest of the school day. Things go on like they did yesterday, nothing too interesting happened. Only difference is the fact that the school''s been reduced to like four home rooms. Eventually class ends, and I find myself getting ready to make my way home. I hurriedly pack my things and move quickly to avoid any kind of social interaction. "Nice job driving her away like that, Rodomowo-sama. That was some smart thinking." Says Kokowamihoboshi, "Wouldn''t expect any less from you." "Yeah... smart thinking..." "It was a good thing too," she continues, "because I finally remembered where I recognise the name Uberschlinger. They''re a family of¡ª..." Suddenly something wraps tightly around one of my wrists and pulls me back, stopping me from moving forward past the school gates. "Where are you heading off to so quickly?" I turn around to find Maria-san standing right behind me, wearing the same subtle smile as before, and her hand holding on tight to my arm. What the¡ª? How the hell did she catch up to me? I was moving at the speed of social anxiety! "You''re going home already?" She says, her well-spoken eloquence doing little to mask some clear hostility, "Don''t you have club activities to head to? How about student responsibilities, hmm? Is your classroom clean? H-how about friends? Don''t you have friends!? No good for a pretty girl like you to be all by her lonesome!" I feel her vice-like grip begin to tighten painfully around my weak girl wrists. Her superior euro-strength crushing my little jap arm. I can''t stand it, I got to do something. I focus all of my miso-strength into escaping her grasp. She let''s go immediately to my surprise, but no matter, I have to get out of here. "I''m not that kind of anime!" I blurt out before running away in the opposite direction. With both of my arms stretched out behind me, I''m able to run at a faster pace. Soon, I lose sight of her, having run as far as the local supermarket. "As student council president," suddenly shouts a booming voice from above me. I look up to find the crazed girl up in the sky, falling toward me "... it is my duty to encourage the growth of all students!" She lands in typical weeb-fashion a few metres ahead of me. The expression on her face now similar to that of a cat playing with a tumour. "Dammit, what do you want!?" I demand. "You know exactly what I want, Ro~do~mo~wo-chan." She sings demeaningly. "My steam account?" "Maria Von Uberschlingler... I''ve should have known." Butts in Kokowamihoboshi, "What does the youngest daughter of the world''s most influential family of undead hunters want with us!?" "Aha, I must be talking to the ghost now. Well in that case, I can keep it simple." In a brilliantly performed sequence of movements, she produces a coiled leather whip from her person. She twirls gracefully into the air, unraveling it, and laying it on the ground around her before extending her other hand to point at me. "I want the skull... of the Skeleton king!" "The wha¡ª..." Before I could have a chance to vocally express my confusion, her leather whip slashes across my upper torso with the speed of a 50.cal round, and with the force of one too. It sends me outwards and into a concrete wall, but not before tearing the front of my mom''s uniform exposing my new body in lewd and unhelpful ways. I lay there just as broken as the wall I''m leaning on. Damn that hurts. I''ve always had dreams of being whipped up by some pretty girl for being a naughty boy, but this ain''t it. Almost instantly after hearing a crack of the whip from behind me, it''s smooth leather end wraps around my ankle and pulls me violently from my position and off the ground. She brings me up high then throws me down into a store below, all the while her sadistic laughter echoes menacingly through the air. I crash through the windows and am showered with a wave of broken glass shards, but luckily my fall is cushioned by stack of tiny pillows. "Mi''lord, we can''t fight her like this! You got to transform quick!" "I don''t know how to do that. I don''t even remember how I did it the first time." "You can do it! You just need to focus! "What is it with you and cheap, unimaginative motivation? Give me some real advice." "Mi''lord¡ª...." "Nah, it''s too hard. I''m just gonna lay here and die in this pile of soft pillows." "Dammit, Mi''lord! How can you just... just... Rodomowo-sama?" As she was speaking had I picked up one of the pillows for examination. I feel my eyes widen in surprise when I notice it''s- it''s Umaru-chan! I pivot my head weakly to find the pillows are all Umaru-chan plushies. Wait, if these are here then I must be¡ª... Shifting my gaze around the room, I find myself surrounded by shelves upon shelves of games, books, DVDs, and of course,my waifus. A surge of emotional strength runs through my broken body. Rei-chan, Megumin, Taiga... all of you. You''re all here, in all your life-size, 2D glory. Cheering me on, believing in me. I now know what must be done. "R-Rodomowo-sama?" With new-found confidence, and the base drop of the emotional score playing in my head, I manage to force my weakened, bloodied body to stand on its feet, and walk out of the anime store. My waifus waving me off from behind their fixed cardboard poses and blank smiles. As I walk outside, I see Uberschlingler waiting patiently from a distance, her whip rolled up around her shoulder. She cackles as I limp ever closer. "Come back for more have we?" She says mockingly, "Don''t worry, I''ll give you as many as you want but either way, that skull of yours is mine!" "N-nuh uh..." I reply, hitting her with my dry wit. I strike a pose as, all at once, the energy I had focused and stored up within me spew out in violent display of light and destructive wind; releasing my true form. With my skeleton at the epicentre of the burst, the great tidal forces rip apart whatever flesh and skin was once attached to it in a vicious and painful manner, leaving only the bone. As I enter this state, a brand new aura of power swirls around me, along with the sound of jazz horns and sweet saxophone solos that make up my main theme music. "I am the Skeleton king. AMA." "Oho, looking to give me a real fight are you?" She says unravelling her whip. "Well, then let''s see what you can do!" In another set of well-timed whip movements, Uberschlingler extends a furious barrage of thrusts and slashes at a speed quicker than a Brazilian presidency but little did it matter as I was able to dodge them all thanks to my unleashed abilities. She may have incredible speed but in my skeletal form, I have minimal drag! In counter to one of her thrust attacks, I go low and move quickly along the ground toward her. Upon meeting her, I prop myself up and deploy an ultra edition uppercut but, moving in a gracious twirl, she dodges it before converting her twirl into spinning kick counterattack to my back. The force of her attack was strong but proved ineffective against calcium-rich ribcage. I return with a kick of my own as I jump for a King-style mega drop kick. She leaps out of the way, performs a couple impressive flips, and lands not far off from me. With a now considerable amount of distance from each other, we circle each other like sharks, wary in anticipation of the next move. Screams from panicked passersby can be heard from the background. I take this intense pause in the action as an opportunity to speak with her on equal footing, and obtain some well needed yet most likely poorly executed narrative exposition. "How did you know I was the Skeleton king?" I ask. "Do you not remember the high levels destruction you caused the night before?" She shoots back, "The whole world was shook by it. It was obvious that only the king of the dead could cause that kind of mayhem. So with an entrance like that, it''s not going to be long till everyone from everywhere will come here looking for your skull. Which is why I had to be the first to get here." I rattle in vexation of her jeering tone, as well as her vagueness. "There it is again!" I exclaim, "You say you want my skull, but for what? What exactly is it would you people want from it? What good will it do you?" "Oho, What''s this? A Skeleton king who doesn''t know about his own powers? Well, you don''t seem to be doing your job properly huh, kingseeker ghost." Kokowamihoboshi tuts in contempt as she materialises in her spirit form next to me. "It''s been known since ancient times that any man who defeats the Skeleton king and takes his skull will receive his power, and gain control of the endless ranks of undead soldiers. So it''s obvious. Power and control, this is what I want!" "But hasn''t the Skeleton king also kept the undead from rising up against man!?" Cuts in Kokowamihoboshi, "As an Uberschlingler, isn''t that what you want? Why go against your family''s wishes!?" "My family means nothing! They''ve become weak and content while they''re made redundant by your stupid king! No more, I say. You are clearly unfit for the crown, so mine it will be!" Now enraged from a struck nerve, she winds for another attack. "Now you will fall by the power of mein Uber-schlinger!" She screams as her whip slashes forward in an almost light-speed horizontal wave attack. Immediately my gaming instincts kick in and I duck down to dodge it. It passes over me and I move in quickly toward her to close the gap when all of the sudden her whip rolls over and turns into a vertical hammer strike. I roll, dark souls style, out of the way before it hits. Luckily my nimble, light bones provides extra invincibility frames and the attack just misses me, destroying the asphalt beneath. Without pause, she lets out another crack of her whip and goes in for a barrage attack, giving me no time to think and take inventory. Rolling onto my feet, I sprint around her perimeter, just managing to avoid the fury of thrust strikes and whip hammer attacks descending down on me in a pace too quick for decent animation. Looks like she''s trying to make me keep my distance. I can''t attack her like this, I need a diversion. "Kokowamihoboshi-san, could you..." "I''m on it, Mi''lord" She responds, floating beside me as I move. After a brief series of wispy-looking movements, she twirls and assumes a powerfully gay fighting stance with her ghost hands outstretched ahead of her. She gets ready to cast a spell. "Ghost Lase¡ª... Ahhh!" I spin my head around toward her as one of Uberschlingler''s attacks somehow manages to make contact with her mid-cast. She is blown backward, screaming in pain. Her floating body goes limp like a corpse at sea as she goes out cold from the pain. "How the¡ª... Gah!" I myself cry out as something strikes my chest. Searing pain runs through my sternum. I look down to find a long trench running diagonally across the front of my ribcage, the bone looking as though it had been corroded by acid. What the heck is this? Why is it¡ª... My pain overpowers my new confusion, and I fall to one knee. "You fools!" She laughs, "Did you really think I''d go against you alone? We undead hunters know our trade well. Mein Uber-schlinger was created specially for combating the undead. Ghosts and skellingtons are no match!" This is no good, not at all. She can do some real damage with that thing, and I can''t even get close enough to attack. Worst part is Kokowamihoboshi-san is completely incapacitated, so I can''t even gank her. Looks like I got to hit her psychologically! "So... you got yourself an anti-undead weapon?" I ask, standing up, "Well, ain''t that just dandy?" I immediately become engulfed in a whirlwind of attacks, quicker and more savage than any before. As my body constantly shifts and twists underneath the violence of her whip, my skeletal form grows even thinner as it corrodes which each strike. The pain barely even registers anymore but instead manifests as a consistent sense of urgency. "Enough of this!" She screams, retracting her weapon back, "Die already!" Prepped and ready for the next attack, she sends it out again at my direction. Too quick for me to react and dodge it, the end reaches me and wraps itself crushingly around me like a thin leather cobra made out of acid. It continues to coil around me, causing me to spin as it winds me closer to Uberschlingler. It brings me right up next to her just long enough for me to call her a faggot before she violently whips me back out, the force of the rapidly unwinding whorl sending me spinning through the air like a Beyblade. My gyrating body drills through the air and into the large window panes of the local supermarket. Still spinning, I am let rip through a couple aisle destroying everything in my way. I eventually crash into the fridges at the back of the store. I don''t even need to look to know that I''ve been reduced to a ground up, corroded mess of a human frame. Dammit, why do I keep ending up in this situation? This ain''t dandy. This ain''t dandy at all! I got to do something. Kokowamihoboshi is still out there, but that weapon of hers is deadly. I can''t just go out there. If this keeps up, my bones are eventually going t¡ª... Wait a minute, my bones.... Bones! Powered by the certainty of my new revelation and only chance of survival, I stumble my way around the supermarket until I finally reach the dairy aisle. Yogurt, cream, and milk line the cooled shelves. I rattle in excited anticipation... Chug. The store entrance bings electronically as the glass doors slide open. The sound is followed by a sequential series of sharp clacks as my metatarsi collides with the ground below upon each step. I walk calmly out into the young night air only to be met by that same jeering tone. "I honestly didn''t think you''d come out of there." She says, "Guess you do have some honour after all..." She pauses, her face falls from a look of taunting to one of befuddlement as only now does she behold the fully-healed radiance of my bones. If I could smile smugly, I would. "Y-you should be mush and marrow right now! H-how did you heal so quickly?!" I look to her with an air of condescension as I let my reinforced, calcium-enriched frame glow at its full incandescence, illuminating the darkening night sky in behalf of the already set sun. "Cream tends to taste better after a good whipping." "Enough of this! I hate you! You''re worse than a cockroach!" She screams as she deploys another high speed lightning thrust attack! "Die! Die! Die!" "Sticks and stones... won''t break these bones!" I say, stepping out of the way. Her whip trails onward past me and annihilates the store entrance. Enraged, she begins flailing her whip in an attempt to hit me but to no avail as her attacks of intense rage prove clouded and slow... No, her attacks are no slower than before. I have become faster. I dodge each strike, walking in a flowing motion. Soon she grows tired and stops, panting in exhaustion. "Where are you?!" She cries out, jerking her head to face several directions. "Behind you." I whisper. Almost straightaway, her breathing slows to a forced wheezing. Her entire body tenses up while simultaneously losing control of her grip. She drops her whip which falls to the ground with a swift flop. Her grip doesn''t appear to be the only thing to she''s lost control of as urine begins to run down her leg, darkening her thigh high stockings. Shaking, she slowly turns her head. "The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell." She shrieks in terror as I stand behind her, rattling in menacing laughter. Her trickle of urine turning full cascade along with the rolling of a couple terrified tears and free flowing snot. In a single smooth motion, I wrap my arms around her petite adolescent body before performing a high speed, ultra edition German suplex, crushing her delicately perfect spine and producing a satisfyingly grotesque sound of organs shifting beneath shattered bone. The cessation of frightened screams indicate death on impact. Victory. Without another thought or word, I throw the limp corpse high into the sky with enough speed and force to cause it to light a flame by virtue of atmospheric friction. Nothing remains. With the night going dark, and no more threats at hand. I tend to Kokowamihoboshi who is still floating unconsciously in the air like a dead dolphin at sea. One boob honk later, she awakens dazed but at least conscious. "O-Ojo-sama..." She speaks softly. "I was thinking of picking up some octopus balls on the way home, what do you think? She laughs weakly. "Baka..." And so, the rest of the night went on as normal. I returned into being a girl, mom had gone shopping for new school girl uniforms for me to wear, and we all enjoyed a box of octopus balls. The next day, I went to school and sat in my usual spot. Though, as I sat there watching the gardener, I felt perplexed by an onset of badgering thoughts. I couldn''t help but think about the words Uberschlinger said. She said she had to be the first to arrive. Does that mean there will be more? Will there be more like her? As the Skeleton king, I know things won''t be normal anymore, but how crazy are things going to get? I try my best to put my concerns behind me and decide to at least try and focus in class. I look back up to find a girl adorned in an intricate white uniform and a leather eyepatch sitting at the seat beside mine. Her long blonde hair flowing freely, yet disciplined and unintrusive of her delicate, smiling white face. "Sleep well, Ro~do~mo~wo-chan?" Episode three: Third day - Part one My heart sinks deep into the dark pits of my self-loathing soul as I, once again, come face to face with her; a hallucination, an apparition, an impossibility. This bitch. I lose my temper amidst the high flames of hatred within me, and without another word or thought, I throw myself up onto my feet ready to beat this petite, underaged girl into submission. As I do so, however, I immediately step back in hesitation as lingering disbelief hits me like a disappointed, equally self-loathing paternal figure. "H-how..." I groan, fists held back, "the hell did you¡ª..." I''m suddenly interrupted at the onset of my rage by surprise at the sight of Uberschlingler gesturing me to be quiet, her perfectly crafted index finger pressing teasingly against her own lips. It was at that moment when I realised that all eyes in the room were fixed firmly on me like I was an albino in Ghana. My anxiety kicks in and I''m left stuck, my mind blanking. I can''t do anything. "Is there anything the matter, Rodomowo-san?" Softly asks the teacher. I pause briefly as I gradually return to lucidity. "I-It''s nothing, Ishikaishiko-sensei..." I reply, scowling. "Just a stress-induced seizure, b-but managed to stop myself through sheer determination." "Ah, I see." She says, understandingly, "I used to get those a lot but didn''t really learn how to stop it ''till I hit my twenties, so well done. Now, please take a seat." I reluctantly do so, as she resumes handing out report sheets. Despite managing to keep still in my seat, the high levels of frustration building up in me kept me from paying attention on the ahego-theory dissertation sitting on my desk. This simply can''t be happening, this can''t be real. I must be seeing things for sure, but even now, I could feel Uberschlinger''s smug anime face looking down on me. M-maybe I''m being haunted. "Listen, Mi''lord" Quietly speaks Kokowamihoboshi, "I know how you feel. I''m just as confused as you are, but we mustn''t get worked up now. Loosing control of ourselves could compromise us. That''s not what we want. The less people know your true identity, the better. So, let''s just keep on the defensive." I sigh, unable to help feeling inclined to agree with her but before I have a chance to respond, I notice Uberschlingler drop something from her desk in my peripheral vision. I shift my gaze to find a small folded-up piece of paper by my feet. I sit there and glare at it for a moment. Wait, is this...? I reach for it and pick it up. I then proceed to give it back to her. She doesn''t even say thank you. A moment later she drops it again by my feet. Promptly, I pass it back to her. "You''re welcome." I say, driving my point across. She still refuses to say anything. Here I am, trying to be the better man, and she''s there being a petty asshole. ''Course she drops it again, the clumsy twit. I give it back to her, this time stuffing it into her hand for security. "Mi''lord, I think she trying to give you the note." Whispers Kokowamihoboshi. "You think so?" ... "I think you might be right." I immediately reach over and pry the note from her veiny clenched fist, and unfold the now crumpled piece of paper. ''Meet me in room C-3 during lunch'' it said followed by a small doodle of a love-heart in the corner of the note. I turn back to her expecting to see her usually conceited grin but instead, she had an expression closer to that of someone about to have an aneurism. She''s serious. For the sake of picking up the pace, I guess I have no choice. "I accept." I quietly announce as I stuff the note back into her shaking, red fist. Time moves quickly beneath me as the classes meld together into one, and soon lunch comes around. With my bento out and open, I prepare to eat my noodle subway alone like usual until I notice Uberschlingler standing over me and my desk. Startled, I brace myself for attack. "Ahh~ Rodomowo-kun, it''s so crowded in here!" She squeals softly, grabbing hold of my arm, "Why don''t we go somewhere nice and eat lunch together." I can''t help but feel a mixture of both blush and terror by this abrupt turn in attitude. Until I remember the note she gave me, and realisation lightly calms my emotional agitation. I get it, this must be her way of keeping low-profile. I guess, it''d be better to play along. And you never know, maybe being seen hanging out with the student council president might get me some brownie points with the other students. "Nah, I''m good here¡ª... Oh wait, no. I mean, yeah, let''s go eat lunch together. That would be great... ha... haha." She lets out a heavy sigh under her breath before taking back up her kawaii facade. "Great! Let''s go now..." She forces through grit teeth, hurriedly pulling me across the room by my arm. As we move, I turn to check out the impressed look on the students'' faces only to catch a glimpse of their eyes laden with envious disdain. Their hate for me is only bolstered from before, and now hunger for my magic albino limbs more than ever. We eventually make it out into the hallway where Uberschlingler straightway pushes me off of her and onto the floor. She steps up to look down on me with the usual level of contempt. "Disgusting." She spits harshly, before walking off hastily down the hall and up the stairs. You know what? I''m kind of just tempted to not meet with her. I could just get up and go home from here and not have to deal with any of this. I know I had some questions earlier this morning that she could probably answer but is it really worth it? Chances are she''s probably just going to tell me bad things, that''s all that ever really come with being the Skeleton king. I think I might just call it a day. Go home, beat the meat, and hit the hay. That sounds like a good plan to me. Hey, that was a haiku. Well, I guess I can''t really beat the meat now, can I? I wonder what the lady equivalent of the term would be. Slap the snatch? Fill the box? Eh...? Why am I in the upper floors? Wait, how did I¡ª... "It seems like you''ve come to, Mi''lord." Says Kokowamihoboshi, "You just sat there, so I walked us over to the rendezvous point." "I forgot you can take over like that." I say, disinclined, "I Guess, we are meeting with her then. Why not?" As I walk into the eerily empty classroom, I find Uberschlingler sitting in a chair at the back of the room playing with a mechanical pencil between her fingers. Legs crossed and perfectly composed, she looks up at me whilst somehow simultaneously looking down on me. "Really took your time didn''t you?" She jeers, "Did I really push you that hard or were you just too weak-willed to face me?" "Me, weak-willed?" I ask, "You''re the one who needed a new backbone! Bam, Zimbabwe!" ... "I''ll give you that one, Rodomowo-kun... t." "All burns are hot but mine are fire, dawg." "Enough games, Uberschlingler!" Cuts in Kokowamihoboshi, "Why did you bring us up here? What is it that you want from us?" "Yeah!" I add , "How the hell did you come back from the dead?" She grins condescendingly, as she switches over her crossed legs. "Heh, looks like being the king of the undead doesn''t necessarily mean the smartest does it?" She taunts, "My being here is the result of an ability granted to those of the Uberschlingler clan. Long ago, my forefathers assisted the last Skeleton king in halting the, then oncoming, skeleton war. For their valiance, they and their descendants were given the ability to forfeit death." "Wait..." I break in, "You''re telling me you can''t die?" "No..." Answers Kokowamihoboshi, low and under her breath, "She can, if you kill her enough times." "Hmph... Well, of course," Says Uberschlingler, brushing off the fact, "No human lives forever. It only makes us better at our jobs." I furrow my brow at the absurdity of this new info. Well, it''s just balls ain''t it? We could kill her over and over again, and she''ll just keep coming back like a repressed incestuous fantasy. It was hard enough the first time, I don''t want to deal with that again. Well, at least now I see why she''s so confident, I mean, it certainly is quite the ability. To think the Skeleton king was able to bestow something like that. I wonder just how much power do I really have? "So, Is that why you brought us up here?" I ask, "To gloat about your OP death hacks?"The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation. Her smile ominously grows wider before proceeding to fling the pencil somewhere into the corner. She then proceeds to throws herself up into her full regal height. "The reason why I''ve brought you up here is simple." She says, "I want to make a proposition." "A proposition?" "Whatever conceited bargains you have, we want none of it!" Barks Kokowamihoboshi. "Ah, but I think you might just want to hear me out." "Like I''ve already said¡ª..." "As we speak," Firmly interrupts Uberschlingler, now walking haughtily toward us. "Living dangers from every corner of the world are making their way over here after your power. Armies of the world''s most powerful hunters ceaselessly marching here for your head. Even you two with your abilities combined is not enough to stop it. You''re going to need all the help you can get." Suddenly, she comes to a halt only a few feet in front of us, and in one single yet gracious motion performs a curtsy so elegant, only years of practice can achieve such a gesture. "I''ve come to offer my services to you, O Skeleton Lord." She declares, the words silencing the world around them as they arrive. "Wait, wha¡ª..." Bam! Before I even have a chance to process the situation, my body suddenly springs into action, and in one fell swoop, sucker punches the blonde maiden in the face with a massive immensity of strength I didn''t know I had. Uberschlingler is sent spinning across the air, and slams into the back wall of the classroom before finally falling onto the hardwood floor with a heavy thud. I open my mouth to cry out only to find that I can''t. I try to move but it prove just as ineffective. I''m trapped, I''ve lost control of my body. Is this...? It''s got to be. Kokowamihoboshi. "You think we need your help!" Shouts Kokowamihoboshi, advancing aggressivelytoward her, "Fraternising with the likes of you will bring more danger to us than any mortal! All you want is the King''s skull and nothing else! Help from you? I''d rather you die." "Me, die?" Uberschlingler replies, having recovered from the punch. She wipes away a smear of blood rolling from her nose. "And what, ghost? Transform into your true from and kill me? You may as well advertise yourselves to the hunters." "Transform? You think I''d let Mi''lord subject himself to dealing with lowlives like you? No, your death will come by my hand." Uberschlingler tuts exasperatedly, "You fool. So that''s how you want go about it then huh?" ... "Forgive me, Mi''lord." Says Kokowamihoboshi quietly, "I''m going to have to borrow the body for a moment." Wait, you''re not thinking of¡ª... Cut off before I could finishing thinking my thoughts at her, Kokowamihoboshi preps herself and runs full speed at Uberschlingler. Right arm cocked and backed by momentum, shes throws another heavy straight-punch toward her head only to miss as Uberschlingler evades it, ducking out of the way before countering with a drill-fist jab to the gut. With an inward left arm spin, Kokowamihoboshi parries the oncoming attack followed by a full-spin roundhouse backhand punch to Uberschlingler''s right cheek. Contact heavy, critical hit! The German is cast outward toward her second wall today, but gaining the agile control of a gymnast cat furry, twirls midair and lands on her feet... on the wall! She jumps off into the air and, after a couple more impressive twirls, deploys a high-speed spinning buzzsaw downward kick. Kokowamihoboshi only barely manages to roll out of the area of effect as Uberschlinger''s heel smashes into the hardwood floor, its sheer force throwing up large clouds of dust and debris. Quickly recomposing herself, Kokowamihoboshi dashes back around before launching herself for a Mach-1 cruise missile drop kick into the dust cloud, only to be caught by her target who uses her immense level of momentum to ultra judo throw her into the wall. We smash right through the wooden partition into the second room, landing some distance from the wall, and rolling over a pile of broken wood and dust. Kokowamihoboshi coughs out a sputter of blood, hopefully somewhat aware of the fact I can feel the same amount of pain she can. Rest proves no option, though, as Uberschlinger suddenly leaps out from the new hole, and comes in for a von Braun rubber-stamped V-2 strike pile driver. Unable to dodge in time, Kokowamihoboshi thrust her arm forward, and with the speed Naruto fags think they have, performs a series of complicated hand gestures, casting a barrier protection spell which repels the pile driver and its screaming body with a flurry of bright technicolour light. As usual, Uberschlinger adjusts herself midair and lands nimbly on her feet. Quickly getting back on her own, Kokowamihoboshi performs another series of obscure hand movements in preparation for another spell, but just before she could finish, Uberschlinger slides in executing a potato-launcher full of bratwurst on the highest setting uppercut to the jaw followed up with another judo slam attack throwing her onto the oak flooring with enough force to break it. Little did she know, however, that the previously performed hand signs were still in effect, and with a single flip of Kokowamihoboshi''s middle finger, is blasted by a combo-breaking, hot ejaculate of blinding white magical energy. The undead hunter is once again sent airborne across the room by the magical discharge with enough speed to crash right through the wooden partition and into the hallway. Her body is lost in the sharp eruption of wooden debris and dust. Kokowamihoboshi rolls back up onto her feet and, in a dancelike sequence of arm movements, prepares for another spell. "Quick heal!" She cries. Almost immediately, a majestic pillar of blue, pulsating light surrounds us before quickly proceeding to relieve every instance of pain in my body as it repairs the wounds we''ve sustained. Exhausted and drain of mana, Kokowamihoboshi falls to one knee making the most of this brief respite. And brief it is as a mysterious glass vile suddenly bursts from the latest dust cloud and onto the ruined flooring where it smashes. Whatever was in that vile, it was friggin'' potent since the tiny pile of broken glass gives way to a fast-spreading cloud of sliver smoke which instantly fills the room around us. The darkening smoke cloud quickly surrounds us, the angry advance of dark grey snuffing out the blue like the Battle of Verdun. We get back up and assume fighting stance only to fall back down to our knees as something suddenly drains us of strength. It''s at this point when I feel Kokowamihoboshi''s eyes suddenly in surprised realisation. "Goddammit! It''s osteoporosis gas!" Coughs Kokowamihoboshi, struggling to keep upright, "We have to get out of here!" Just about mustering enough strength to stand on her feet, Kokowamihoboshi rushes haphazardly through the dark grey haze toward the classroom door. We run right through into the clear, violently sliding the door open only slide it back shut with a quick wooden thud to stop the spread. Weakened from the ordeal, she stumbles slightly around her feet before shortly catching sight the business end of a dagger hurtling towards us. With a swift and almost predetermined duck to the left, Kokowamihoboshi manages to avoid the oncoming thrust attack. The dagger, followed by the arm of a beat-up Uberschlingler, trails off behind us only so far before spinning into south-east downward slash. Still dazed, yet gradually getting back on point, Kokowamihoboshi quickly twirls right from her crouching position and somersaults back down the school hallway, just about managing to escape Uberschlingler''s reach. Rolling unstably back into a standing position, Kokowamihoboshi throws both arms out ready to receive the next attack. Uberschlingler, already on the charge, comes in for a beast-mode screaming knife-thrust to the neck, but with a right arm wiper-blade elbow swipe to the inner arm, Kokowamihoboshi parries the oncoming strike before following it up with a having just come home from a long day of bowing politely to pictures of your superiors because the actual people are all the way up in Osaka enjoying themselves whilst you work your life away like a cuck only to find your skinny, weak son cross-dressing in the living room elbow bash! Which misses as Uberschlingler ducks down out of the way, and with immediate succession, executes another uppercut to the jaw, accompanied with a full-spin roundhouse knife bunt, and concludes with a lance-thrust instep high kick to the chest. She sure loves her combos doesn''t she? Looks like, despite being weakened, she''s still just fast as last time. We stumble backwards, staggered by that last attack. Uberschlingler spins on one heel, plants both feet back on the ground before launching herself for another raging-rhino double-grip heavy knife-thrust attack. The world falls exponentially into slow motion, save for the oncoming angry German who look like she''s moving in realtime. In this moment of unusually clarity, I can''t help but think to myself just how slowly Kokowamihoboshi is reacting to this new threat. "Anytime now..." I say, the words apathetically leaving my lips. My mouth just moved. I can move my mouth. I can move. Kokowamihoboshi''s unconscious. Realising that I''m fully responsible for avoiding this next attack, I close my eyes and use all of my mental capacity to create a new plan of action. Neural connections spark and synaptic functions fire as I allow my brain to go into overdrive with a brilliant display of bright golden light which string across my consciousness as though they were cosmic dreams of God himself. I achieve spiritually tranquillity within my own mind. This is the true strength of the Skeleton lord. Using my new-found mind''s eye, I visualise the ideal sequence of evasive manoeuvres which will place me in the best possible defensive position. I reopen my earthly eyes, and time returns to its proper motion as I tumble backwards onto a pile of debris and scream like a bitch. Luckily, however, my well-timed grovelling catches Uberschlingler off-guard buying me enough time to wriggle away from her, and roll back on my feet. "Damn you!" Roared Uberschlingler, "Get back here!" Uberschlingler pounces at me like a jaguar to a lost Brazilian child, but before she could reach me, I spin on my heel to face her. "Sand attack!" I shout out as I throw a handful of dust and broken wood at her face. "What¡ª... Ahhh!" She cries out, "My eyes!" Aha, got her! Good thing I fell into that pile of dust.. Now''s my chance! "Counter that!" I taunt, followed by a swift kick to her crouch, and a mad dash towards the other direction. I got to get away from her. There''s no way I can fight her like this, and transforming could be risky. I just have to find my way out and wait ''til Kokowamihoboshi comes to. Now... where are those stairs? Should be here soon. Hoh, that was a pretty vengeful-sounding scream, I''m sure those stairs are here somewhere. Whoops, sounds like she coming, and fairly quickly too... some stairs would be much appreciated right now... WHERE ARE THOSE¡ª... It''s a dead end. Ha... haha... Well, maybe if I just turn arou¡ª... Suddenly something zips past my ear, and lodges itself into the wall behind me. Though having moved too quickly to identify, I felt as though I knew exactly just what it was. I reluctantly turn my head to see that same over-designed white dagger from mere moments prior, its then I feel the slight trickle of warm blood rolling down from the new gash across my cheek. I slowly turn back around with thatshe''s behind me isn''t shementality. Yep there she is, standing only a few feet from me. Although rough and beat up in appearance, she still manages to keep that high standard of lady-like composure and form, save for the wrathful grimace sported on her face. "You have some nerve don''t you!?" She says, her voice closer to a low growl than the usual jeering tone, "I offer to help you and this is how you treat me?" "Aha... ha... yeah, about that... I-Isn''t it just crazy how¡ª... Okay, I don''t know." "Heh, you know what? At my disposal is a whole arsenal of anti-undead tools and weaponry that could very much easily dispatch you and that King-seeker of yours. I can kill you right here, right now and not have to deal with you any longer." She produces another questionably hidden dagger from underneath her skirt, and begins playing around with it between her fingers like she did the pencil. "This dagger alone is just enough to burn away that unholy flesh of yours," She says, pacing menacingly, "It''s even more potent against reanimated bone." "S-sounds pretty painful," and reply apprehensively, speaking only for the sake of saying something. "Oh this? Well, actually this dagger, mein Uberschtinger, is so efficient at its purpose, victims tend not to notice any pain until it''s too late. Now like I said, I have plenty of other, more painful alternatives, However, I''m feeling rather courteous today, so consider yourself a lucky girl..." She stops dead in attention at the centre of the corridor, her eyes locked firmly on mine. At the very moment of highest anticipation, she throws the dagger at the floor in front of her, piercing the wooden flooring and sticking upright. The gesture stuns me in surprise and I stumble backwards, backing myself against the wall. I look down at the dagger in front of me then back up to Uberschlingler, her eyes still fixed on mine. "... because my proposition still stands." She concludes. "W-what...?" Ku kuku ku "Like I said, my proposition still stands. I would have killed you two already were I not serious about that." "Wait, after all this... you still want to help us?" "Well, were it still the ghost in front of me, I would have no doubt ended it already, but because it''s you now, I''m going to give you a choice. And whichever you choose determines whether or not you leave this corner. Now, which is it Skeleton king. Kuku krukukruku "Okay." I answer. ... "That''s it," She retorts, "You''re not going to ask me why or..." Ku krukukukukru krukru kuku "Well, I don''t really have a choice do I? Say yes or die, what did you expect? If you want to tell me why, feel free too. It''s probably just some stupid but essential narrative background that the ass-hat writer is too lazy to let the reader find out for themselves." Kru krukrukrukrukru kuku krukrukru ku ku "Well, if you must know¡ª... What the hell is that noise!?" Yells Uberschlingler. She turns to face the corridor behind her to suddenly find a large man standing mere inches from her. Caught off guard, she steps back in surprise, towards me. Left completely speechless by this new development, we both stare probingly at the stranger. The man is covered head-to-toe in what looks like old military fatigues along with an abundance of pouches and pockets. Large cylindrical shapes sit heavily on both sides of his backpack. A small Geiger counter clicks intensely and sporadically in his hands. The stranger looks down at the small device, and then back at us before proceeding the drop the thing on the floor to click away by itself. Low and muffled from behind the worn out rubber gas-mask concealing his face, he says something. "Blyat."