《My Quiet Life》


 Prologue

    I sat on my bed, watching as a maid, whose name I didn¡¯t know, brought me a mash of food I couldn''t tell the nature of, and a cup of tea which could be brewed from my own tears for all I know.


    My world had shrunk and become oh so very small. It exists only within the confines of a single room that I cannot leave, and couldn¡¯t  even enjoy the entirety of.


    A prisoner of mind and body.


    The maid bent toward me and smiled. Her lips moved, but not even a whisper reached my ears. Behind her, I could see a bird on the windowsill, but could not hear its song. I couldn¡¯t hear the ruffle of the curtains as the wind blew by.


    I couldn¡¯t hear.


    I tried to ask the maid for some sugar, but as my lips parted and I let out a muted noise, her smile turned sour. Disgusted.


    Not wanting to anger her, I closed my lips and sipped on the bitter tea instead.


    This is my life now. My quiet life.


    ___________________________________________________________________________


    I ran down the hallway.


    I could hear them shouting at each other, hot on my tail trying to catch me, but I was too quick. Peeking around a corner, I saw them as they came down the corridor. Just as I was about to make myself scarce I locked eyes with one of the men.


    ¡°There she is!¡±


    He screamed as he pointed in my direction.


    ¡°Stop right there, Lady Silika!¡±


    The man ordered me, but I ignored him and kept running.


    If they catch me it¡¯s all over!


    At that moment, I tripped on my loose sock and landed roughly on the marble floor. Skinning my knee in the process.


    I whimpered and tried to get up, but my feet kept slipping between the smooth floor and my tangled nightgown. Just as I finally found hard ground and started getting up on my feet, someone caught me by the collar. I turned around and recognised a maid. She was the one who usually smuggled me some snacks before dinner.


    ¡°Betrayal!¡±


    I screamed before I noticed that my little brother, Dalton, was standing behind her, pointing at me.


    ¡°Double betrayal!¡±


    I won¡¯t forget this, Dalton!


    The head maid shook her head as she jogged toward us, making  the Meiriem insignia bounce wildly around her neck.


    ¡°Where did you even learn that word¡­? Nevermind.¡±


    She picked me up like a stray kitten and carried me back to my bedroom.


    One might think it odd, but this was a typical morning on the Everest estate.


    I, Silika, 5 years old, am the third child of the Marquess family which has governed the region of Oblon for 3 generations, and by this position, can do whatever it is I please.


    Unfortunately, as my parents and two older siblings are out on a trip to the capital, it seems the power has gotten to the head maid¡¯s head. I will have to make sure she is properly scolded when they return.


    She sat me on a chair and, against my best wishes, started scolding me.


    ¡°Every morning. E V E R Y morning! You¡¯re five years old, young Lady Silika. At your age the young lord and lady were dressed at sunrise and were done with breakfast by the 7th bell!¡±


    She said as she started combing my hair into place.


    ¡°That¡¯s unfair! Knox and Ela are twins, so they grow twice as fast!¡±


    ¡°How does that¡­? Urgh¡­.¡±


    She let out a long annoyed sigh.


    Yes! Feel that frustration, the same you make me feel every¡­


    She pulled back my hair strongly with the comb making me tear up.


    ¡°Ouch!¡±


    ¡°It wouldn¡¯t hurt if you had given me more time!¡±


    She said in a sarcastic tone.


    ¡°But it hurts every morning!¡±


    ¡°Because you run away every morning! By the love of Meiriem, how will you ever become a proper lady at this rate?¡±


    I grumbled and let her rip my rose coloured hair into place. The head maid slid me into my dress and pulled my hair back with a hairband. Rendering me ¡®presentable¡¯ as she put it.


    Dalton peeked his little head through the door frame.


    ¡°Silika? Are you done? You promised to play chess, remember?¡±


    ¡°I never promised that! I hate chess!¡±


    The maid looked at me coldly. As followers of the goddess of love, ¡®hating¡¯ something given by the gods was considered a sin, but I didn¡¯t care for her scolding eyes.


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    After thinking for a bit, I did remember promising to play any game he wanted if he played tag with me yesterday. Poor Dalton ran after me as fast as his legs could carry him for hours¡­


    ¡°Urgh¡­ Or I guess I did promise¡­ Can we maybe play after¡­¡±


    Just as I was about to haggle my way out. The sound of opportunity reached my ears in the form of horse hooves and large wooden wheels.


    Dalton and I perked up and looked at the window.


    ¡°They¡¯re here!¡±


    We screamed in unison.


    Shoving the maid aside, we both ran down to the entrance hall. As we rounded the corner and reached the gallery at the top of the stairs, we saw a blue haired girl and salmon haired boy crossing the door threshold.


    ¡°Ela! Knox!¡±


    I ran downstairs and hugged my older brother and sister with all my strength. The wind was blown out of their lungs but they greeted me nonetheless.


    ¡°Meiriem¡¯s blessing, Silika. You¡¯re as energetic as ever!¡±


    Knox said as he tucked the insignia back into his shirt.


    ¡°My lady please...! The young lord and lady must be tired from their trip!¡±


    The head maid pleaded as she tried to separate us.


    Dalton joined in the hug, and so Knox waved her off.


    ¡°We missed the both of you too.¡±


    Ela said as she patted my head


    I looked up at her with glittering eyes.


    ¡°How was Evergreen? Tell me!¡±


    ¡°Well it was very..¡±


    Ela began before I cut her off, too excited to wait for her answer.


    ¡°Were the walls as tall as father said? Did you meet the prince? The queen? The king?!¡±


    ¡°Young mistress please! The Young masters have just returned. They must be exhausted!¡±


    A young maid pleaded.


    She glanced at the head maid¡¯s face turning strange new shades of red and purple, just  as this one finally managed to break up the four-way hug.


    Mind your own business, you old hag¡­


    Knox turned toward the maid and gave a polite nod and then turned back to us.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry Silika. We will tell you all about it once mother and father get back.¡±


    Knox said as Ela clasped her hands together.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t we play a game before lunch? It will be a few hours still before they arrive.¡±


    She suggested.


    My eyes grew wide with excitement.


    ¡°Lets! Lets! Can we play tag? Dalton is too slow. I want to play with people that are fast!¡±


    Knox laughed uncomfortably while the head maid scolded me


    ¡°Young lady, this type of violent game is definitely not what a good Meiriem¡­¡±


    Knox dismissed her with another wave of the hand and she kept her mouth shut.


    Being 14 year old and having just come back from their social debut, Knox and Ela now had the same authority as adults.


    Luckily, Knox knew how much I disliked rules, especially those as inconsistent as the gods of love, Meiriem. I knew I would eventually have to fall in line, but that day was not today.


    ¡°What about something that involves a little less running? My legs are still full of ants..."


    He suggested with a tired smile.


    ¡°Your legs have ants in them?!¡±


    Dalton exclaimed, slightly panicked.


    ¡°No, you dummy! It means that their legs are sore from sitting!¡±


    I rebuked him.


    ¡°You¡¯re a dummy! Why would he say there¡¯s ants in them if he¡¯s tired? That makes no sense!¡±


    As we started bickering, Ela tried to interrupt us before it devolved into a fight.


    ¡°What about hide and seek?¡±


    Dalton nodded excitedly, but I wasn¡¯t as thrilled. I wasn¡¯t particularly good at hiding and I really wanted to show them how much faster at running I had become over the last few weeks. My daily morning runs were just starting to pay off! I could now escape the adults almost until the next bell!


    Knox noticed my expression. He kneeled down next to me.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry, we¡¯ll play tag next time!¡±


    He whispered in my ear while the head maid was looking away.


    I still felt disappointed, but I thought about it for a second.


    It¡¯s true that I won¡¯t be able to show off how fast I have become, but maybe..? Yeah that could work!


    I nodded enthusiastically. They both seemed relieved I wasn¡¯t as disappointed anymore.


    ¡°Alright then! Let¡¯s head outside. I''ll count first.¡±


    Knoxed declared.


    We walked around to the main house and reached the gardens on the side of the estate. Knox stood tall and took a deep breath of fresh air. He looked happy to be back home.


    ¡°Okay, here are the rules: No going inside the house, we stay inside the garden, I count to 100 and you lose if I see you.¡±


    We all nodded in agreement.


    Knox turned around.


    ¡°Get ready! 1, 2, 3, 4¡­¡±


    ¡°Come on, Dalton!¡±


    Ela took Dalton¡¯s hand and headed for the flower patches. I felt my chest tighten. I was the one who wanted to hide with Ela...


    ¡°...8, 9¡­¡±


    I shook my head. My plan could still work. I just need to head for the clearing. I ran straight across the flower plots into the thicker forest. Once at my destination, I looked around.


    Alright, which one is the¡­ Ah! This one!


    I spotted a great oak tree, the highest around even  taller than the mansion. I approached it and gripped the large chunks of bark in my moist hands as I pulled myself up.


    They will be so surprised once they find me!


    The plan was clear  in my head: Find the tallest tree and climb to the highest branch. When Knox comes looking for me in the clearing, I burst through the foliage high above the ground! I might lose the game, but Ela and Knox will praise me for weeks and weeks for becoming so good at climbing! As Father always says: ¡®A small loss is the path to a great victory!¡¯


    I climbed from branch to branch. The leaves became thicker as I reached higher. I looked down and saw that it was as high as the third floor of the mansion. I felt a vertigo come over me.


    It IS very high¡­ My heart feels like it will pop out of my chest any second.


    ¡°...99, 100! Ready or not, here I come!¡±


    I heard Knox declare in the distance.


    Knox will be coming soon! No time to go any higher. I found a solid branch and started making my way to the edge of the tree.


    ¡°I see feet! Is that you Dalton? Ah it¡¯s Ela! I got you!¡±


    Ela already got caught? That took less time than I thought, but my plan will still work so long as he comes for the clearing.


    ¡°I see you behind that tree Dalton!¡±


    Dalton too? Did Knox somehow become better at finding during his trip? Do kids play hide and seek in the capital too?


    It won¡¯t be long until he comes looking for me. I hurried along the branch. Through the foliage I saw Knox entering the clearing, but he couldn¡¯t see me yet. I crawled through the branches, purposefully breaking them and making the leaves ruffle so he would notice me, but Knox focused on the bottom of the trees while the chirping of the birds covered the sound of the rustling.


    What are you doing Knox? Look at me! I¡¯m so high!


    I moved faster toward the edge of the branch, but he was already starting to turn away.


    In a panic, I stood up on the branch.


    ¡°Wait, Knox! I¡¯m right h¡­¡±


    I heard a dry snap underneath me and felt my weight falling forward. I tried turning around and catching the other part of the branch, but it was already a small brown stain in my vision.


    I looked down, just in time to see the ground approaching rapidly. Before I could even let out a sound everything went painfully white...


    And then, nothing.

 1. A quiet night

    In the void, I saw no light nor did I hear any sound.


    There were only feelings and sensations reliving over and over again that day in the clearing.


    I felt the strain in my arms as I climbed up the tree. The thick leaves brushed against my cheeks and the rough bark rubbed against my skin, leaving scratches on my otherwise delicate silky skin.


    At the time it had not seemed to matter, but now, it was all there was. I felt the texture of the branch I had chosen as the platform for my performance.


    Now that I had time to reflect, I could tell that it wasn¡¯t a particularly sturdy branch, probably a bit too brittle and too green to support my full weight.


    Yet I couldn¡¯t stop myself as I crawled along it, ripping my dress in several places.


    I felt the anxiety and the dread as Knox started to leave the clearing without spotting me. Against my  best judgement , my own legs stood up once more, inevitably snapping the branch under me.


    I felt the sharp leaves cut my skin and the wind as my body plummeted toward the ground, but I didn¡¯t feel the impact.


    Just for a moment, a single instant in time, both light and sound came back to me piercing my soul with painful strident white.


    In excruciating pain, I opened my eyes to a familiar ceiling, or should I say the blue canopy above my bed.


    Illuminated by the soft light of the morning sun filtering through the thin fabric of the curtains, I could make out the insignia of the gods of Love, Meiriem, on the canopy. It was meticulously stitched, but as I strained my eyes to look at it, I felt a painful shock run through my skull and run down my body all the way through my spine.  It felt as though needles were pushing their way through my very bones. I closed my eyes and the pain subsided for a moment, giving me a moment of respite.


    When I opened them again, it was dark.


    I could only tell that time had passed from how the light reflected on the folds of the canopy. I tried sitting up, but, as soon as I tried to move a single muscle, I felt another shock go through my body and my vision went blurry.


    I blinked again, providing me yet another moment of peace from the pain. This time,  the sunlight was shining into my face right as I was opening my eyes. It made me squint as I felt another shock coming, but thankfully it stopped before then as darkness enveloped me once more.


    When I peeked between my eyelids, the light was gone, replaced by the blue light of the moon.


    Every time I blinked the room remained the same, only the light on the canopy changed. For only company, the Meiriem insignia, two intertwined foxes each holding a wallflower in their jaws, faced me. The fold of the fabric being the only inconsistence other than the light, although that might have been a simple fruit of my imagination.


    After what felt to me like only mere minutes since I was playing hide and seek, I blinked once more, but the light did not change.


    My mind felt as if it was starting to settle and I could once more construct thoughts. It was dark, but some light seeped through the seams of the door, illuminating the canopy with a soft yellow glow of a candle or lamp.


    As I tried to recall why I was laying down in bed and not on the grass of the garden¡¯s clearing, I felt a painful vibration going through my skull. As if a thousand horses were galloping inches from my head. I tried blinking a second time, hoping it would make the pain go away again, but the light remained the same. I turned my head to look at the window, but this small movement sent me a wave of nausea.


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    I wanted to hurl, but my body seemed too weak to even do that much. All it made me do was  gag  on my own dry throat. This sent me into a terrible coughing fit.


    Something was wrong with my body. It was painful, very painful. I had been sick before, I knew how it felt to be unwell, but this was different. It was so much worse.


    I pushed myself through the shocks of pain and the overwhelming dizziness to sit up. I slowly looked around the room, but everything looked normal. It looked the same as it did whenever I woke up from a nightmare in the middle of the night. Oddly quiet and dark. Very dark.


    [Knox?]


    I tried to call but the words caught in my throat.


    [Ela?]


    I called again, but no sound came out. I could feel my lips move and my breath running through my throat, but the sound didn¡¯t come out.


    [Mom?]


    I tried again. I could feel my throat vibrating, my breath on my hands, my lungs emptying.


    I kept calling for people, but no words escaped my mouth, no matter how loud I tried to make call.


    I started counting.


    [one, two, three...]


    Singing.


    [She said to me, my red lady...]


    And when not even the most conscious effort made a single sound, I started screaming.


    Nothing came out.


    Confused and afraid, I continued screaming on and on for what felt like hours.


    It felt like I was drowning, my screams muffled by the water as I sunk deeper into the dark abyss. Carried away never to be heard by a single soul.


    I panicked and tried to run for the door, but as soon as I put my foot on the ground, It felt as if thin nails pierced the sole of my foot. My head went woozy once more and I fell to my knees. Out of breath as if I had just run a marathon, I felt ashamed.


    By Onilab


    What will Ela and Knox think? I¡¯m always the fastest, always the strongest, and now I can¡¯t even stand still without falling over... Even Dalton can at least wiggle his way around when we play games.


    I started crying soundlessly.


    I tried to stand up again but another painful shock ran through my body starting from my foot, more painful than any before. It made me gag again and sent me into another painful coughing fit. Tears started flowing from my eyes as I screamed and screamed and screamed. But still no noise came out.


    [Please Knox, come get me now, I don''t want to hide anymore¡­]


    I tried to say as I cried.


    I¡¯m alone¡­ So alone¡­ And I can¡¯t even call for help. Knox always comes to get me when I have a nightmare late at night. Why isn¡¯t he here now? Why doesn¡¯t he know how scared I am right now? Why is he abandoning me like this?


    [Please Dalton come here! We¡¯ll play checkers! Or  toy soldiers! Anything you want!]


    I pleaded.


    My throat started burning, but I kept screaming, my vision went blurry from the tears and the pain but I continued trying to scream helplessly.


    Why isn¡¯t my voice coming out? Is this a dream?  Or maybe I¡¯m being punished for being naughty? I didn¡¯t want to fall from the tree, I swear! I just wanted to impress everyone. I just wanted you all to love me.


    [Help!!! Help!!! Mom! Dad! Ela! Knox! Dalton! Anyone! Please anyone help me!!!]


    Please someone, please come, I don¡¯t want this, I¡¯m scared, why can¡¯t I make any noise? Why does my throat hurt, but no one can hear me?


    I kept screaming and screaming, but no noise came out. I yelled for help until my tongue went numb, my eyes went dry, and my lungs burnt like embers.


    Light started fading from my eyes again. I fought to keep them open and kept on trying to make any noise I could, even trying to hit things with my weakened arms, but before I realised, I was back in the void.


    Back into nothing. A pit of pure darkness.


    However this time was different.


    This time the pain followed me as I fell into a deep tormented slumber.

 2. The begining of my quiet life

    It was a long dreamless sleep with, for only companions, sensations of anxiety and uncertainty.


    I was aware of time passing, but my body and mind refused to respond. I couldn¡¯t think, yet I could feel my soul endlessly tormented. I couldn¡¯t see anything but darkness, and I couldn¡¯t hear anything except every painfully slow beat of my heart.


    The tree was gone. There was only a strange haze.


    After what felt like an eternity, a soft rhythmic buzzing rang through my mind, slowly bringing me back to life.


    When my consciousness finally came to me, my eyelids felt too heavy to even open and my whole body felt sore. The only thing that proved to me that I was back was the weight of the blanket on my chest and the soft movement of the bed, as if someone was sitting at my side.


    I tried to grunt, but the sound remained stuck in my throat.


    I felt a moist and warm pressure on my forehead. The familiar and reassuring presence of a palm. I forced my eyes open, but things were blurry as light flooded the room from the windows. I could tell the shapes of the canopy again, but not the insignia.


    I blinked in an effort to wipe away the fog and as I did, the warmth left my forehead and moved to my cheek. A shape drew itself into my vision and then long rose nearly silver strands of hair.


    [Mom¡­]


    Again the words did not come out, but my vision finally focused again. I could see my mother¡¯s face again. Tears clouded her beautiful blue eyes as she visibly forced herself to smile at me.


    [Mom!]


    I sat up quickly and hugged her.


    Almost immediately, a horrible nausea overcame me, nearly making me lose consciousness once more on the spot. Before I could, I felt my mother¡¯s embrace. I held on tightly as the dizziness came and went in waves. I held her for a long time and when the nausea calmed itself, we finally separated. Tears were rolling down my cheeks and a wet spot stained the spot where I had buried my face in my mother¡¯s dress.


    [I missed you so¡­]


    My heart sank.


    As I looked up, I realised that my mother¡¯s lips were moving, but I couldn¡¯t hear any sound from them. I gripped her clothes tightly and tried to get closer.


    Perhaps she¡¯s whispering?


    [Mom? Mother? Please speak louder. I can¡¯t hear you.]


    As the words quietly left my lips, I could tell that she had heard them, but I could tell something was wrong.


    Her face was twisted in a horrified look. She turned her head to the left and only then I noticed the man standing next to her. He was an Archkinsmann of the Meiriem Orthodox church.


    He was a tall man dressed in the soft white and blue garbs of the Orthodox order. His blue-haired head was adorned with a lifted pink veil which usually covered Meiriem Kinsmann¡¯s faces when they walked from places to places. His counterpart, a pink-haired woman, was standing by the door, discussing something with a maid.


    The Meiriem Church worshiped the twin gods of love.


    Its Orthodox order¡¯s Archbishop had settled the duchy of Salland over two centuries ago and their followers had since grown to become one of the dominant faiths in the region.


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    Oblon, the county my father ruled over, was vassal to Salland and as our family was of Meiriem descent, it was only natural that we were highly regarded even by the church.


    Like all gods, Meiriem had bestowed unto its kin, its blooded-children, blessings. The blessings were powers of bond and peace which, amongst other things, had the effect of making twins quite common in families. Such was the case of these Archkinsmanns, and my own brother and sister.


    Each god also gave unto their kins, different traits.


    My mother¡¯s and my own rose colored hair and this man¡¯s blue hair were inherited from Meiriem. While my silver eyes came from the goddess of Order, Seeir. A trait inherited from my mother¡¯s blood who, although she did not sport any such traits, inherited the blood from my grandparent.


    Most people were of mixed descent, only a few pure blooded individuals still existed, often in isolated communities in far away regions.


    The Archkinsmann kneeled on the ground by the bedside so his face could be eye level with my own. He held out his hand and pinched my chin, forcing me to stare into his pink eyes. His mouth moved a few times, but I couldn¡¯t tell whether he was talking to me or my mother as he was also moving my head around at the same time, probably checking for bruises.


    [I...I don¡¯t understand what you¡¯re saying¡­]


    I said tentatively.


    His brows furrowed further. My chest tightened. My mother¡¯s face was still crisped into a horrified expression. It was starting to scare me. I felt my eyes swelling up.


    [Am I dying¡­?]


    I asked, but they only looked more worried and didn¡¯t try replying.


    They seemed to hear what I was saying, but couldn¡¯t understand what it meant.


    That¡¯s silly! If they can hear, they should know!


    He looked at my mother and said a few words, before turning back to me again asking me something.


    [What¡¯s wrong with you! I¡¯m telling you I can¡¯t understand!]


    I hit my bed in frustration.


    Doing so sent a wave of nausea through my body. Tears started pouring from my eyes once more as I gagged on my empty stomach. I looked at my mother whose own eyes were already filled with tears. She held me tightly as I cried on her shoulder. My tears did not dry up until I finally fell asleep.


    Over the following days, the strange haze that had kept me between life and dream slowly released me.


    I woke up a few hours every day and my mother and the maids came to attend to me. Bringing food, change of clothes and the occasional medicine. It tasted bitter and made my throat dry, but I could see the worried look on my mother¡¯s face when I refused to take it, so I forced myself to swallow. She often tried to talk to me, but I still couldn¡¯t understand.


    At first I would try to reply, but each time she seemed increasingly worried. Then the worry turned to annoyance... and eventually disgust.


    I don¡¯t know what she heard, but she was not the only one.


    At first, my siblings and father visited often as well.


    The first time, Dalton nearly knocked me out when he jumped on the bed to hug me. His excitement quickly subsided when he realised I couldn¡¯t come out of bed and play with him.


    After the incident, my body had become very fragile and weak. The simplest movement could send me tumbling down and I had essentially become bedridden.


    He tried to play checkers with me, but it was difficult to play on the bed and with my habit of losing balance, I ruined more than one game.


    My head still hurt quite a bit when I tried to focus, so he would always beat me easily. I expected him to look happy to finally be able to best me after all this time, but instead the look in his eyes was of worry.


    Father and Knox every so often came to greet me at meal time. I could tell they were trying to say a couple of pleasantries, which I obviously couldn¡¯t understand but I smiled nonetheless. Sometimes, they would feed me a few bites of my meal before giving up and letting the maids do it. It made me sad that they acted distant, but I understood. After all, it must have been boring to spend time with me when I was like this.


    Ela came the most during those early days. She always brought a tray with tea and sweets, and a book under her arm.


    She would sit down beside me and read the book to me and show me the images every so often, the same way she had before she left for her trip. Sometimes, she would look at me while she read to check if I was following along, which of course I couldn¡¯t, but I nodded along regardless and sipped on my tea.


    At first she would stop and trace over words or show me images to explain what was going on, but she soon grew tired of it. Slowly, she stopped looking at me while she read, and then stopped speaking as she did.


    As time went by, like the rest of my family, she stopped visiting altogether.


    By Hpeh

 3. The Golden Maid

    Weeks went by and eventually, the only person I would see consistently was a golden-eyed black-haired maid.


    I had seen her before around the estate, but she had always been working in the kitchen or doing errands. I didn¡¯t even know what her voice sounded like, but it seemed that she had been assigned as my personal maid.


    Normally, a young lady is not assigned one before her social debut at which time her schedule becomes too busy or complex for her to handle on her own, but they must have made an exception due to my condition.


    Since the first time I woke up screaming, she had almost always been in the room and bringing me my meal and generally taking care of me.


    She also tried to entertain me, but seemed to understand quicker than the others that having a conversation would be impossible.


    She tried a variety of different things instead.


    One day, she brought me dolls. I had never had any before since I spent most of my days playing games with my siblings or playing pranks on the estate¡¯s staff. I had never considered them to be of any interest. I knew that Ela had a few in her room, but now that I was seeing them up close, I found them quite frightening.


    They were just staring at me wordlessly. Unblinking. Their expressions frozen in a confused stupor. I looked at myself in the mirror.


    Is that how people see me? A creepy life-sized doll?


    When the maid came back later, I handed her the dolls and shook my head. She looked at me for a second and nodded. She promptly took the dolls away.


    I think that somehow she knew what I was thinking.


    As the weeks turned into months, I realised that people were avoiding me.


    Servants would no longer enter the room to give my meals to my personal maid and would instead leave it at the door. If I was looking outside the window and locked eyes with a gardener, they would avoid my gaze. Even my own family had not come to visit in weeks.


    The only person I saw all day was my personal maid.


    She wasn¡¯t very old. Younger than my parents, but still an adult. She had a serious but dignified expression on her face and had a small mole right underneath her golden eyes. She kept her black hair short in a bob and wore an intricate silver Seeir insignia around her wrist.


    Most of the other servants would wear theirs proudly around their neck, but Goldie seemed more subdued in that regard. Maybe because she wasn¡¯t a Meiriem follower?


    I had taken to calling her ¡®Goldie¡¯ for her eyes.


    At first, like anything else I said, she did not respond to the name. And so, every time I saw her looking at me, I would say the name while pointing at her.


    Eventually she approached me, after I said the word, while pointing at herself. She mouthed some words I couldn¡¯t understand, but I guessed the meaning.


    [Yes! Goldie! Your name is Goldie!]


    I felt warmth spread through my chest. It wasn¡¯t much, but it had been a long time since anyone understood or even tried to understand what I said to them.


    Goldie smiled warmly and bowed.


    Since then, every time I called her name, she would appear beside me. Sometimes with tea or a snack.


    After the failure of the dolls, Goldie had continued bringing me different toys. The wooden soldiers were fun, but after a few painful splinters I grew a bit wary of them. All the toys that required me to move around or move my hands around too much were right out.


    Eventually, Goldie brought me a stuffed toy. A pink bear with large buttons for eyes. It was very soft and fluffy. I liked holding it and its eyes didn¡¯t feel judgemental or avoidant like everyone else''s. When holding it, I didn¡¯t feel alone or afraid.


    By now I had recovered enough to sit-up for longer periods of time. Goldie still carried the meals to my bed, but she would sit me on the sofa for a few hours every day while she cleaned the room or stitched my clothes. From there, I would hold onto my plush bear while facing the window, but from my angle, all I could see were clouds.


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    I wanted to see the garden.


    Every time I tried to get Goldie to show me, she didn¡¯t understand my request and only looked at the window while nodding and smiling.


    I decided to take things into my own hands.


    While Goldie was busy fitting the sheets on my mattress, I put my plan into action.


    I turned myself around and let my foot hang down from the couch as I held onto my bear and the sofa, I reached downward with my foot until I touched the floor. I slowly brought down my second leg and stood tall. While still holding the sofa with one hand, I looked toward the window.


    It isn¡¯t too far. Maybe twice the distance to the bed. I can make it!


    I left my bear on the sofa and faced my body toward the window. The world started moving around me and a painful wave went through my head. I closed my eyes for a moment to calm myself.


    I opened them and looked straight. I put my right foot forward and  let go of the sofa. I then put my left foot forward.


    So far so good.


    Just as I lifted my right food once more, the world swirled around me and I lost my balance. I fell face first to the cold marble floor.


    The shock made my eyes tear up.


    I lifted my face and saw a small pool of blood where my nose had been a second before and even more still dripping from my face.


    Did I break my face? Am I dying? What¡¯s going on?!


    As thoughts flooded my head, and I registered the pain, I started crying. Almost instantly, Goldie came and hugged me.


    [Mommy! It hurts! It hurts so much! Mommy!]


    I cried as I hung onto the maid. I called for my mother to come for me and make the pain go away like she used to, but she did not come.


    She hadn¡¯t come to make the pain go away since the day I woke up months ago.


    Goldie picked me up and brought a handkerchief to my nose. She rocked me back and forth until my tears dried up. My eyes still burnt, but it felt better just having someone hold me.


    At that moment, I realised that no one else had held me like that  since the accident.


    Once I calmed down, she carried me to the bed and tucked me under the cover. She went and fetched my stuffed bear and gave it to me.


    Before I hugged it, I looked at it for a moment.


    It had pink fur and blue buttons for eyes. Fur like my mothers hair and eyes just as well.


    The same eyes that have not met mine in weeks and did not come make the pain go away anymore.


    [I hate you!]


    In anger, I threw the plush away. Tears flooded my eyes again.


    Goldie went to pick up the plush and looked at me.


    I could tell from the way she stared at me that she was worried, but her mouth didn¡¯t move. She only nodded.


    I buried my face in my pillow and cried until I fell asleep.


    The next day Goldie came to the room with a basket in her arms. I looked at it curiously, she smiled and put down the basket at the feet of the bed.


    I sat up, it was unusual for her to hide what she was bringing in. She took out a sewing kit, some coloured fabrics and buttons.


    Is she thinking of making another plush?


    I inched myself forward, my interest now piqued.


    She took out two black buttons and placed them in front of her eyes to show what they were meant to be. I nodded excitedly. She showed me the box filled with different coloured buttons expectantly.


    The answer was obvious.


    I pointed at the yellow buttons. The only kind eyes I still remembered were Goldie¡¯s after all. When I wake up in the middle of the night, it would be nice if that was the first thing I saw.


    She then showed me the fabrics, but they were all vivid pastel colours. I wanted something that reminded me of Goldie, but her hair was completely black.


    I looked at her and pointed at her hair, but she only tilted her head. She was probably thinking that I was just pointing at her...


    I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward me. Once she was close enough I held a bit of her hair and showed it to her.


    She blinked for a second, unsure. She grabbed some colour fabrics and mouthed something, but I shook my head and showed her the hair again. Goldie looked perplexed, but eventually nodded.


    She left the room and came back a few minutes later with a dark fabric in one hand and a platter with tea and snacks in the other.


    She sat me back against my pillows and placed the tray on top of my legs. I grabbed the cup of tea and watched as she worked.


    When I saw her reach for a yellow fabric, I grunted in discontentment, but she just simply smiled at me and continued.


    She traced shapes with chalk on the cloth and cut pieces of different sizes. She stuck needles in them to give them specific shapes and started sewing. I couldn¡¯t completely follow what she was doing, but I saw limbs taking form, then a head, and then long ears. She then used some sort of white webbing to fill the body out and give it volume.


    By the time I was done with the tea and biscuits, it was finished.


    A cute black bunny rabbit with golden eyes, paws and inner ears. She held it out to me and I  delicately took it into my hands as I stared at the plush in awe.


    It was just like Goldie, but could be with me all the time!


    [I¡¯ll call him Darkie! Say Hi to Goldie, Darkie!]


    I made the bunny rabbit wave at Goldie. She smiled and waved back.


    I hugged Darkie tightly and looked up at Goldie once more.


    [Thank you, Goldie! You¡¯re my best friend ever!]


    There was a hint of sadness in Goldie''s eyes as she smiled back at me.


    I couldn¡¯t ask her why she looked sad, but as her best friend, I silently wished for her to feel better soon.

 4. Family diner

    Days came and went, and my body slowly healed.


    I could now walk short distances on my own without losing my balance or falling.


    Goldie scolds me when she sees me walking for too long or too far from the walls or furniture, but I can¡¯t help it; I really want to show Darkie around and I can¡¯t do that without taking some risks!


    [Let¡¯s go see the garden, Darkie!]


    I slipped out from my bed by hanging onto the blankets and leaning against the nightstand.


    ¡°The garden? But isn¡¯t the garden too far?¡±


    Darkie said in his small bunny voice. He had started talking shortly after he was made.


    Of course, I knew it¡¯s all in my imagination, but it feels a little less lonely to have someone to talk to, and since he¡¯s with me all day and all night, I don¡¯t get as bored anymore.


    [It¡¯s alright! We can see it from the window across the hallway. All we have to do is go through the door and walk to the opposite wall!]


    ¡°Mmmmh¡­ If you really think so¡­¡±


    While holding Darkie, I walked toward the door by leaning against the furnitures. I peeked out to make sure Goldie wasn¡¯t around.


    She would definitely get mad if she saw us.


    ¡°Looks clear. Let¡¯s go!¡±


    I nodded in agreement and we slipped through the door.


    The window may have been right across the hallway, but this one was almost as wide as the room and the window sil had a bench that had to be climbed on before we would be able to look at the garden.


    ¡°Looks kind of dangerous¡±


    Darkie commented hesitantly.


    [I can do it, just need to take it slow.]


    I took a deep breath and looked straight ahead to my destination: the windowsill.


    I carefully walked forward, taking small calculated steps. It took me much longer than it would a normal person, but I was able to walk across without falling over.


    [See? Told you we would be fine!]


    ¡°Wow, Silika! You¡¯re so good!¡±


    [Hohohoho! Thank you! Now, how do we get up the¡­]


    As I was talking to Darkie, I caught a movement from the corner of my eye.


    I turned my head and saw Goldie standing behind me, arms crossed and glaring at me.


    By Onilab


    [Oh no¡­.]


    Oh yes. I could see her spell with her lips.


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    Goldie grabbed me by the collar and dragged me back to the bedroom.


    She sat me on the couch and started scolding me strongly as she held onto my bunny. You would expect scoldings to be easier when you couldn¡¯t hear them, but it actually only made them that much more confusing.


    I looked up at her with tears in my eyes. She hesitated for a moment, let out a long sigh and gave Darkie back to me.


    She looked me in the eyes for a few seconds and let out another sigh.


    She mouthed a few words to me and then headed for the wardrobe. I followed her with my eyes as she took out clothes. I got confused when I saw her take out a dress instead of pyjamas.


    It was already late afternoon.


    [What is that for?]


    She mouthed an answer but that did little to help me understand. She made me stand up and slipped me into a frilly blue dress with long white sleeves.


    I don¡¯t like this colour¡­


    She picked me up and we left the room. I travelled through the manor in her arms. We left the east wing and headed down. We passed the garden and headed toward the north wing, the heart of the estate.


    I recognised the hallway to the main dining room. She opened the door and I saw my family seated for dinner, waiting for me.


    [Mom!]


    I called out, but quickly regretted my excitement.


    Her expression was grim and only grew worse at my words. My father and older siblings¡¯ faces weren¡¯t much better. The only one who looked happy to see me was my younger brother, Dalton, who was staring at me expectantly.


    I tightened my grip around Darkie.


    Goldie walked me up to my seat. It had been a long time since I had sat at the dining table like this. I was seated facing Dalton and he waved at me while smiling. I waved back, but as I did he turned his head toward the end of the table. I turned my head as well and saw my father speaking.


    As I couldn¡¯t understand what he was saying, I just played along and tried to react like the rest of the family.


    Every member of the family spoke one after the other at my father¡¯s request and eventually he turned toward me, expectantly, but I could only smile in response.


    He said something again and I could feel everyone staring at me. Cold sweat ran down my back.


    What should I do?


    I felt a hand on my back and looked up at Goldie who was now talking in my stead.


    My father looked at her and then nodded, satisfied.


    Father brought his head down and lifted his hands as he began saying grace to Meiriem. I also tried to give my thanks as best as I could, mumbling through it as I didn¡¯t want anyone to realise I had forgotten how to do my prayers.


    Once it ended, the servants served us our meal. The food I had received in my room had been mostly those made for sick people.


    Finally being offered food with some consistency, I dug into my plate happily. I had been so engrossed in my meal that I was done before anyone else. I would have asked for seconds, but I was scared of causing a scene.


    Since I couldn¡¯t talk to anyone, I decided to play with Darkie.


    [The food was good! Wasn¡¯t it, Darkie?]


    ¡°It looked delicious! Do you think they will start bringing food like that to the room every day?¡±


    [Maybe¡­ That would be nice, but they might still think I¡¯m sick... And I am, am I not?]


    ¡°No way! You look very healthy!¡±


    [You really think so?]


    Goldie put her hand on my shoulder. I looked up at her, surprised, just in time to see her put a finger in front of her lips with a worried frown, but whatever it was she didn¡¯t want the other to hear, it was too late.


    Confused, I looked around and saw the entire table and the servants staring at me with horrified expressions.


    My father stood up from his chair and knocked over his glass of wine, spilling it all over my mother¡¯s dress.


    He angrily shouted something at Goldie and then at me. I looked around at my siblings and mother but they all looked down, refusing to meet my eyes.


    [What¡¯s going o¡­]


    As I tried to ask, he started screaming again. I felt a ball grow in my throat.


    Why is father acting like this? What did I do wrong? Is he angry that I was playing at the table?


    My father yelped something at Goldie. She gave a quick curtsy and picked me up from my seat.


    I held Darkie with all my strength as all eyes starred daggers into me as we left the room.


    I felt my eyes swell, but I tried to keep it in. I looked back as we crossed the door threshold. I could see my father glaring from the corner of his eye as he said something to mother as she silently nodded.


    The doors closed behind us and I was carried back to my room.

 5. Sinful nature

    The next day, Goldie woke me up at first light and dressed me in a white and blue dress.


    She had a somber expression as she did so and wouldn¡¯t meet my eyes. It made me worried, but I complied. After yesterday, I felt as if I might be in a lot of trouble.


    She picked me up and I tried to grab Darkie, but she stopped me and shook her head. It made me slightly anxious to leave without my plush, but from Goldie¡¯s expression, there was no room for argument.


    I felt a pit in my stomach from the thought, but I let go of Darkie¡¯s black and golden paw.


    As she carried me out of the room, I couldn¡¯t keep myself from looking back as Darkie¡¯s small black blotch of a shape becoming smaller.


    [Don¡¯t worry, I¡¯ll be right back.]


    ¡°Okay, I¡¯ll wait for you!¡±


    His shape disappeared as we rounded the corner of the doorframe.


    Goldie carried me through the estate on the same path we had yesterday, but instead of the dining room, she carried me through the front door of the estate to a horse-drawn carriage.


    Inside was my mother and father.


    They looked at me with a stern and disdainful expression as Goldie sat me on the opposite seat of the carriage and draped a blanket over my legs. She left the carriage and waved at me weakly as she closed the door.


    I was left alone with my parents.


    Normally that would be something to be happy about, but now, I felt like a small animal in a cage. The warm smiles my mother usually gave me were gone, replaced by a spiteful expression. My father¡¯s usually wide open arms were folded on his chest instead of holding me as I fell asleep.


    As I sat there under their judging gaze, the carriage departed.


    The trip took what felt like hours. I wish had been allowed to bring Darkie along. It would have made the trip that much more bearable.


    Maybe he was the reason they got mad at me last night? But why? He¡¯s a good bunny¡­ I never brought one before so maybe there was a rule about not having toys at the table?


    The carriage came to a stop and the coach driver came to open the door. The outside light blinded me for a moment, but after he helped me out into the daylight, my eyes adjusted and recognised the church of Meiriem where we usually came to worship once every few weeks or on holidays.


    My parents started walking and I tried to grab my mother¡¯s hand, but she pulled away with an annoyed expression. I looked to my father hoping he would help me, but he had already walked away. I tried to follow on my unsteady legs, but no more than 10 steps later, I lost my balance and fell on the rough pavement. It left painful bruises on my knees and hands.


    I was roughly made to stand back up on my feet by my mother. She reluctantly dragged me by the hand as I struggled to keep up with her pace. I followed as best I could, but I still lost my balance a few more times earning glares from both my mother and father.


    We crossed the large arches of the church into the lobby and continued into the main atrium.


    Facing the door was a large water basin with sculpted statues of a man and woman representing the dual nature of Meiriem¡¯s love. I was told that the water of this basin is filled via a miracle from the gods themselves and then blessed by Meiriem¡¯s kinsmanns every day. My father dipped a finger in the water and traced a line down the center of his face. He dipped it once more and then traced another one down my mother¡¯s face and then my own.


    We proceeded toward the main altar where two kinsmanns waited. As my father approached, they bowed their heads slightly and my father did the same.


    They exchanged a few words, they then escorted us through a hallway at the end of which a large oak door stood. One of the priests pushed the door open. My mother released my hand and, with my father, entered the room.


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    I tried to follow them, but the other kinsmann held me back by the shoulder.


    Before I could see what was in the room, the door closed and I was left with the kinsmann. As I wasn¡¯t familiar with him, I didn¡¯t want to hold on to him, but I could feel my vision spinning slightly as I tried standing still.


    I held on for as long as I could, but after struggling to stay on my feet, I still fell backward. The man reflexively caught me. Despite the veil covering his face, I could see his embarrassed expression.


    He guided me by the hand to an alcove where I could sit. From this height, I could look through the window in the opposite direction.


    An older kinsmann came by and started talking about something with the one escorting me, and dragged him away some distance down the hallway.


    Through the window, I had a view of the church gardens.


    Fall was already well on its way. The flowers had faded for the most part  and been cut, while the trees were now shades of yellow, orange and red.


    I could see birds digging through the leaves looking for seeds and worms. A black bird with an orange beak landed at the top of the window where a small venting trap had been left open.


    The bird looked around for a second until it locked eyes with me. It glided down to the floor at my feet without breaking eye contact.


    My gaze was transfixed with it.


    I looked into its deep dark eyes and imagined the wind going across my cheeks. I could see the top trees and the houses far below as I flew high in the sky above them.


    As I tried to look deeper into this vision of freedom in the gleaming dark eyes of the bird, it let out a loud caw. A caw so loud I could hear it in my bones and my soul.


    The first and only sound I had heard in months.


    As I tried to call out to it, I saw the oak door open and the bird flew away. The world went back to its usual silent self.


    The young  kinsmann came back and helped me off the alcove. I then followed him into the room my parents had entered a moment ago.


    A large altar showing two foxes intertwined on each other was illuminated by windows far up the walls giving it a mystifying appearance.


    In front of the altar, my parents were on each side of a man.


    I recognised him. He was the bishop who usually conducted the sermons in this church. He was an older man with greying blue hair. He wore no veil and instead a small square hat balanced on top of his head. The way this square stayed in place was a mystery to me


    He motioned me forward with a kind smile as the kinsmann accompanying me released my hand and took a step back. I walked forward until I was only a few steps away from the bishop and did my best to stand straight.


    The bishop brought his hand to my face and lifted my chin. A motion I felt was just customary of Kinsmann considering it seemed to be the only thing they ever did when I met them.


    He looked straight into my eyes. I felt a chill go down my spine as his piercing blue eyes stared right into mine.


    He said something, but as I couldn¡¯t tell what he was saying and didn¡¯t want to say anything stupid, I remained silent. He released my chin, but kept his gaze locked with mine.


    He moved his lips again without breaking eye contact, but I still waited.


    I could feel my knees buckling slightly from standing up and still for so long.


    Hopefully he¡¯s almost done, I¡¯m just about to fall over.


    I scratched an itch on my arm as he kept on staring at me. He crouched down and brought his face right in front of mine. I resisted the urge to pull away, but I could feel my balance failing me. He brought his hand to my side and he moved his lips again, but I was already at my limit.


    [I¡¯m sorry but could I take a s¡­]


    He slapped me.


    The strike was so strong that it sent me flying to the floor.


    The pain immediately brought me to tears. I could feel the stinging on my face where the palm of the bishop had struck me.


    The kinsmann that had escorted me until now tried to help me up, but was stopped in his tracks when the bishop lifted his hand toward him.


    He told something to the people in the room. Their expression immediately turned sour.


    My own parents looked at me with disgust and disdain. He made a dismissive movement of the hand in my direction and said something to the other kinsmanns present.


    It wasn¡¯t a moment later that I was picked up and put under someone¡¯s arm.


    I was carried roughly through the church and before I knew it I was thrown roughly on the grounds of the entrance.


    The coach driver ran to me and started picking me up while glaring at the kinsmann that had just discarded me.


    This one said something to the coach driver while spitting on the ground in front of him. The driver could only bite his lip in response. He picked me up from the ground and carried me to the carriage.


    We departed immediately, not waiting for my parents.


    I sat there, on the coach bench.


    Crying, confused and in pain.


    What did I do wrong? Did I offend the bishop? Ela told me that those who offend the church are punished harshly¡­ Was this the punishment..?

 6. Purgatory

    I was locked in my room as soon as I arrived on the estate.


    Later that day servants came back and stripped everything. They removed the blanket, the toys, the furnitures¡­ They barred up the windows from the inside and barely leaving gaps for the light to filter through. All they left was the mattress.


    For a while no one came. Not even Goldie. Once a day they cracked the door open just enough to leave some food by the door, mostly leftovers or stale bread.


    I miss Goldie and Darkie¡­ Hopefully they¡¯re both safe.


    After a few days of isolation, my father came to the room, but I did not move.


    In his hand was a horse crop.


    At first he only spoke to me. Thinking speaking would make him hit me like the Bishop did, I remained quiet, but that was a vain hope.


    He hit me regardless.


    Many times.


    I couldn¡¯t have counted if I tried. My skin felt like it was on fire. Long red streaks covered my body and split in places.


    He left the room only to come back with my 3 siblings in tow. I lifted my head hoping for them to help me. All I saw were the horrified looks. My father started telling them something angrily. The expression on Ela and Knox''s faces turned to anger while Dalton exploded into tears. My father took the horse crop once more and hit me. He then handed the crop to Knox. He hesitated for a moment. He said something to me.


    [Please don¡¯t do this, knox. Please please please don¡¯t hurt me.]


    He screamed something else at me, but I didn¡¯t know what to respond, and so he hit me.


    He asked me something else.


    [I¡­ I don¡¯t know]


    I shielded my face but he hit me again.


    Once, twice¡­ Too many times.


    Then came Ela. She didn¡¯t bother to ask anything, she took the crop and hit me even harder and longer than Knox with only spite in her eyes.


    Then came Dalton¡¯s turn, but he was still crying.


    Ela tried to give him the crop, but he refused to take it. She tried to force it into his hand, but he wouldn¡¯t grip it. Father did not hesitate and struck him across the cheek. He pulled him back to his feet and gripped his shoulder while yelling at him. He then pointed at me and back to Dalton, took the crop and forced it into Dalton¡¯s hand before pushing him in my direction. He looked at me with only tears in his eyes.


    As my father kept screaming, he finally struck me.


    By Hpeh


    He could only manage three hits before collapsing into tears.


    Father grabbed him by the arm and carried him out of the room followed by my two other siblings, slamming the door closed as they went.


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    After they left, all I could do was cry on the floor as blood dripped from the bruises all over my body.


    I didn¡¯t get any food that night.


    Three days later, my mother came to the room. To my surprise, she did not strike me or even scream at me. She simply stared at me in contempt until the sun set and then she left.


    I didn¡¯t get any food that night either.


    Days came and went vaguely.


    Sometimes my father came and screamed at me or hit me, other days my mother came by and simply stared at me.


    On those days, I rarely got to eat unless it happened much before sunset. Even then, the food I received could barely be called as much, often stale or moldy or cooked days before and cold.


    The only thing I could do was walk around the room.


    I discovered rapidly that if I tried to speak or made too much noise, I could expect a visit from my father that afternoon, so it was all I could do.


    My balance improved, but the dizziness still came and went. The intermittent missed meal and sore bruises did not help, but I still kept practicing.


    I couldn¡¯t think of anything concrete, but I had to run away. I had to practice for when the opportunity arose, I could leave this place for good. Not that I thought I could go very far on my own, but even becoming a beggar would be better than this.


    Time went by and the temperature became cold. With no wood or matches, I couldn¡¯t start a fire in the chimney and so I could only try to keep my limbs warm by snuggling into a ball. I couldn¡¯t sleep properly anymore.


    I would wake-up at all times of the day and night in sweat thinking my father or the Bishop were coming to hit me again. My mind constantly imagined the door opening or the floor trembling from their footsteps.


    The door opened again.


    It was my mother this time. She never struck me, only stared silently for hours on end. It was still nerve wracking since I was forced to look at her the entire time or I could expect my father to come too later.


    This time was different though.


    She was speaking. Not screaming or shouting. She didn¡¯t even have an angry expression, only contempt.


    She continued for a while until the sun started setting.


    She stopped speaking and looked at the light filtering through the boards on my window. She said something toward the door. She stood still for a moment, looked at me and then turned toward the door again.


    As she put her hand on the doorknob, I let out a sigh of relief.


    I might not be getting a meal tonight, but at least I could finally rest¡­ This thought was a fatal mistake.


    My sigh must have been louder than I thought, because she immediately took her hand off the handle and brought it to her side.


    She stood still in front of the door with her back to me. I waited, unsure what she was doing.


    Suddenly she rushed toward me.


    I tried to run away, but my feet tangled up and she wrapped her hands around my throat.


    She squeezed as hard as she could, choking me.


    Nothing could come through.


    I could feel the blood boiling in my head and my tongue stick to my throat. My lungs started burning and I could feel my eyes going to the back of my head.


    As the sides of my vision darkened, she released me. As I gasped for air, she slapped me, making me gag on my own breath and sending me into a coughing fit. I tried to get to my knees, but as I was folded over gasping for air and coughing, she kicked me in the stomach, making me throw up what little was left in my stomach. In what oozed out from my throat, I could see scarlet stains.


    She forced me to face her and slapped me over and over again. Until my eyes could barely open.


    I¡¯ve had enough.


    Gathering all my strength, I kicked her chest. She lost her breath long enough for me to pull myself away.


    I looked at her and just screamed. Screamed all my emotions away. My anger, my sadness, my pain. Raw uncontrolled fury. My bruised throat felt as if daggers rubbed along it.


    At first, my mother looked at me with the same spiteful expression, but that emotion quickly faded away and gave way to fear. She tripped backward as she tried distancing herself from me. I started screaming louder and louder and to my delight, she looked not only scared but in pain, holding her head between her hands. She struggled to her feet and ran out of the room and slammed the door behind her.


    Finally I did it. I stood up to them.


    As I had that satisfying thought, I lost control of my body, and my mind went blank before I could hit the floor.

 7. The black maid (Part 1)

    My name is Jace Miller. The ¡®black maid¡¯ of the Everest Household.


    I have been at the service of the family for almost 15 years, and during that time, I was always kept away from the scrutinising eyes due to my appearance: black hair and golden eyes.


    These traits were after all, a heritage of Scorn, which I, myself, inherited through my ancestor from the goddess of discord and hate herself, Scorn.


    The duchy of Salland, and by connection the county of Oblon, was dominated by Meiriem kins whose colourful appearances contrasted strongly with mine, and made me quite noticeable.


    My kind was especially despised by the Meiriem believer as there was a common misconception that Scorn directly opposed Meiriem¡¯s teachings. Which although wasn¡¯t completely wrong, was not true either. As far as religious dogma goes, the teachings had quite a few overlaps.


    It is also true that heritage does not define worship. The Everest dynasty, for example, is quite strongly mixed between Meiriem and Seeir, the goddess of law, yet only worshipped Meiriem.


    Nevertheless, it was typical for worshippers to despise the kin of gods of opposite mentalities.


    So, one might wonder why I was allowed to work here at all.


    The answer is simple: blackmail.


    My last name may be Miller, but that is not the name of my father. My father is Davon Fauger, Duke of Norland and father of Merilia Fauger, now known as Lady Everrest, Marchioness of Oblon, Mistress of this household and my half-sister.


    My father was not very fond of the old duchess and took my mother as a mistress over 30 years ago. When the duchess died 8 years later, I had already been conceived. My existence was hidden for political reasons until I reached the age of 13. My mother used her newly found leverage to find me a comfortable place working at my sister¡¯s mansion.


    She had known nothing of my existence when I came to the estate, sealed letter in hand. Under normal circumstances, this blackmail would not have been very effective. Bastard childrens were not uncommon and as they were now married, the outrage could be swept under the pretense of a ¡®precocious consumption¡¯ of the union. Therein lies the importance of my Scornkin heritage.


    Her marriage into the Everest family had been made under the pretense of keeping the Meiriem and Seeir Heritage pure in the family¡¯s dynasty, but the Scorn heritage did not come from my mother, but from our father. My mother had near pure Seeir heritage, if anyone was to learn of my existence, it would not take long to connect the dots together. My sister¡¯s life would be ruined and the Everest household would fall apart. My sister had no choice but to bend to my mother¡¯s request.


    And so, my life at the estate began. Despite being generally disliked by the staff, I lived comfortably. I had my own room within the residence and worked only a few hours a day before being sent on ¡®errands¡¯ to keep up appearances that I actually did work for the household.


    I was aware of my nephew and nieces. I had watched them all grow from a distance, but had kept my distances so as to not create any suspicion.


    That is, until Silika suffered her accident.


    Up until then, Silika had always been considered the problem child of the family and a loose canon. She ran around causing trouble all over the estate and had a rude mouth.


    The day she fell from that tree, no one knew if she was going to make it. She was in a coma for nearly a month. Both her legs had broken when she hit the ground and a large gash had been visible on the back of her head. The marquis had brought the best healers in the duchy, which the Orthodox Meiriem Church was more than happy to provide in exchange for more tithe and more consistent appearances at the church.


    Stolen story; please report.


    The Orthodox were an odd bunch. Despite following the teaching of the gods of love, who normally preached acceptance and care, the Orthodox were known for following strict and harsh doctrines in order to properly ¡®worship the gods¡¯. Most annoyingly to me personally, an obligatory vegetarian diet which never ceased to irritate me. Despite their ways, they had become an especially powerful religion in the south-west of the kingdom, especially here in the duchy of Salland.


    When the lady finally awoke, the situation on the estate went from grim to explosive. That night, dreadful screams of a dying beast were heard all throughout the estate. By the time someone had realised it came from Silika¡¯s room, she had already collapsed at the side of her bed in a pool of her own bile.


    When she woke up again days later, the priests had been present and were able to establish a diagnosis.


    They determined that the fall had rendered the lady ¡®simple¡¯. She could no longer walk, her sentences were indecipherable babblings and she did not listen to what anyone told her. She was constantly grunting. For an entire day, she made only wheezing noises with her mouth and nothing anyone did could make her stop. I heard rumors that a guard resigned from his post after a day where she was constantly singing unrecognisable versions of children''s songs.


    In time, the entirety of the estate, including her own family, found dealing with the young lady unbearable. By then they would seldom visit her, only out of a feeling of obligation.


    I don¡¯t know what came over me. Perhaps it was some strange motherly instinct or sense of obligation toward my niece, but I volunteered to become her personal carer. I believe what I felt was not a sense of pity, instead, it was a sense of camaraderie. I may not have suffered the same kind of debilitating handicap, but I could relate all too well with being shunned by my own family. To me she was not a strange and annoying child, but instead a confused and frightened girl.


    Despite being diagnosed as simple, I disagreed with this prognosis. It is true that the lady only spoke in babblings and grunts, but there was a structure. I realised that the day she gave me a nickname. It was barely a word, more like an obscure gurgling.


    ¡°Gledi!¡±


    Every time she said that word, she looked at me expectantly, and so I responded to the sound as if it was the most natural thing to do.


    I was wrapping my head on the nature of her condition. She reacted to seeing me speak, but did not react to me calling out to her when she was looking away. She would get scared or surprised when someone would appear from somewhere she did not expect, but would not even flinch to something being dropped behind her.


    I was not the only one to have had this realisation.


    The youngest child of the household came occasionally to play checkers with his sister. Seeing how terrible she was and how often she had a tendency to just knock the board over or fall asleep during the game, one might have thought that she was indeed dumb, but her movement felt too genuine, and too sincere. She knew how to play or how to win, she just couldn¡¯t do it.


    After one such session, when the lady had fallen asleep and he was packing the board, he turned to me.


    ¡°You know. They say Silika is stupid, but I think they¡¯re stupid for saying that.¡±


    I stopped and looked at him.


    ¡°Why do you say so, young master?¡±


    ¡°She can play checkers. Dumb people can¡¯t play checkers. I know because I was dumb before and I couldn¡¯t play.¡±


    His logic was simplistic, but it wasn¡¯t wrong.


    ¡°Maybe she just remembers, the same way she remembers how to chew her food or drink water.¡±


    He thought for a second, but shook his head.


    ¡°No, that¡¯s not right. She¡¯s not dumb. I know for sure. She just can¡¯t talk¡­ Or maybe she can¡¯t hear.¡±


    I gritted my teeth. I kneeled beside the bed and looked at the young boy.


    ¡°Young lord¡­ Don¡¯t tell anyone about this.¡±


    ¡°Why? Wouldn¡¯t everyone be happy to know that she¡¯s not dumb?¡±


    I chose my words carefully.


    ¡°They would¡­ But the implications¡­ What it will mean will be much worse for Silika. She will be punished very very very badly.¡±


    He thought about it for a second, but was still puzzled about the meaning behind my words.


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°If you don¡¯t tell anyone, I will tell you¡­ Eventually¡­ But not today, it¡¯s too soon for you to know about that.¡±


    He seemed unsatisfied with my answer but nodded.


    ¡°I will trust you, but if you¡¯re lying you will be in big trouble.¡±


    ¡°Thank you young lord.¡±


    The young lord left. He completely stopped coming to play after that day.


    It¡¯s probably for the best that he did.

 8. The black maid (Part 2)

    As Silika healed, she became more active.


    Not to say that she was now a perfect little angel. Silika had always been a problem child and very temperamental. She constantly got irritated when she didn¡¯t like the toys I brought her and more than once broke them out of spite. When I brought her a doll her sister Ela had asked me to give her, but she only so much as looked at it with a disgusted expression before giving it back to me like an especially dirty sock.


    The only thing she seemed to enjoy were stuffed toys.


    We went through a few of them, but eventually she stuck to a pink bear with blue eyes. It did not take a wise woman to see the resemblance with my sister. The same mother who had not bothered to visit her own daughter in a month. Every time I thought about it, I felt a pinching in my chest.


    Are children just disposable once inconvenient?


    In one of her tantrums, I clearly understood calling for her mother after falling on the ground and giving herself a nose bleed. I felt my own blood boil in rage as I tried calming Silika. For the first time, I cursed being of the same blood as hers. When she threw the bear that held her mother¡¯s resemblance, I had no doubt in my mind that my niece and I held the same hate in our hearts.


    To change both of our minds, I decided to have a bit of an activity with her. I brought all the materials to make a made-to-order plush toy. I brought a dozen different types of fabrics and all the coloured buttons I could find.


    The choice for the buttons went without an itch and Silika chose brightly coloured yellow buttons, but when it came to the fabric, the lady¡¯s temperament showed. She looked through the fabrics many times over, but couldn¡¯t find one that fitted her taste. Eventually she looked at me with a frustrated look and pointed an accusatory finger at me.


    When I failed to react to her frustration, she pulled me toward her and grabbed my hair roughly to get my attention. At first I thought she wanted more colour options, but I thought that following all her little whims would make my niece grow selfish. I tried to insist for some of the coloured fabrics, but she did something I did not expect. She took the lock of hair she had taken a hold off and tried to show it to me.


    For a moment, I felt shocked.


    ¡°You want a black plush?¡±


    She nodded as she looked at my hair.


    ¡°But there¡¯s so many pretty colours. Don¡¯t you want a pretty colour instead?¡±


    She kept showing the hair to me and I understood. She picked yellow buttons and wanted a black plush. She wanted a plush that looked like me. I felt tears coming to my eyes, but I stayed strong. I couldn¡¯t look weak, not in front of Silika.


    I nodded and left the room. I went down the stairs and through the kitchen to get to the storage room. There I found some fabric meant to mend the staff¡¯s uniform.


    You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.


    ¡°She wants a plush that looks like me¡­¡±


    Yesterday, she threw away the plush in her mother¡¯s image, and today she wants one that looks like me.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry Silika¡­¡±


    I cried alone in that storage. All the tears I had been hiding from her all that time. A child should never have to go through this. I had to be strong for her. I dried my tears, picked up the fabric and headed back up.


    As I walked through the hall back to the room, I heard people talking. When I was about to round the corner, I spotted two maids talking in front of Silika¡¯s room.


    ¡°This is the lady¡¯s room, right?¡±


    ¡°Yeah. I heard she¡¯s gone insane. You know, like screaming in the night and talking nonsense.¡±


    ¡°Really? I heard some people say it sounded like she was speaking in tongues¡­ Maybe she¡¯s actually possessed?¡±


    ¡°Do you¡­ Do you think it¡¯s because of her?¡±


    ¡°You mean the black maid? Maybe¡­ I heard that she¡¯s actually a witch contracted to the marquess. Until the lady became ill, she would always go on errands all day¡­ And when the lady became sick, she insisted on becoming her caretaker.¡±


    ¡°You think she¡¯s trying to make the lady into her disciple?¡±


    I had heard enough. I walked around the corner and glared at them. When they saw me they ran away in fear.


    Those rude maids¡­ They spoke in front of Silika¡¯s room.


    I opened the door. One would expect to find the lady distraught, but instead I found Silika still sitting on the bed waiting for me expectantly.


    ¡°Gledi! Hiir eur!¡±


    I smiled, but I knew. The lady was simply and utterly deaf. A truth I had to hide at all cost.


    Deafness, or any handicap for that matter, was not an actual sin to any god in existence, but then again the Orthodox Meiriem church did not truly follow their gods¡¯ teachings. They were false fanatics, misguided religious extremists, who took the message of love for the world delivered by Meiriem, and twisted it in order to control their followers.


    ¡®Love all godly creations¡¯ A simple thing and the first commandment Meiriem ever divulged. The Orthodox had used the vagueness of the words to their own advantage. Using this and other misinterpretations of the Meiriem scriptures, they twisted words to create fervours into their followers. After all, unity had no better birthing place than when faced with a common enemy. They made their followers believe that any individual who was unable to fully appreciate the entirety of all gods creation was a heretic. The deaf, the blind¡­ Hell, some countryside Othodox Meiriem kinsmanns were known to go after amputees as well. It was an easy thing to do, seen countless times in history. Going after those who could not defend themselves and use them to fuel fervour, blaming them for all of the world woes¡­ And the followers are none the wiser. Convincing themselves of the righteousness of punishing those who deprived themselves of the gods gift, as if that had been a choice in the first place.


    I finished the plush toy and handed it to Silika.


    She came up with a name on the spot.


    ¡°Alki!¡±


    She made it wave at me and I waved back. She hugged her plush with all her strength as I held back tears. She looked up at me.


    ¡°Eur mur beu fu ewe, Gledi!¡±


    She said as she looked straight into my eyes, a beautiful smile on her plump peach-coloured face.


    Oh gods. What can I do? Please tell me, what can I do before it¡¯s too late?


    By Onilab

 9. The black maid (Part 3)

    ¡°And so, Silika¡¯s condition is¡­?¡±


    ¡°Stable, Marquess¡±


    Every two weeks, I gave a report to Marquess Everest regarding Silika¡¯s condition. Contrary to his wife, Alfred Everest did not know the nature of my identity. He only knew me as the ¡®charity case¡¯ his mother-in-law had forced on the family for a reason or another.


    He let out a long sigh.


    ¡°Can she speak?¡±


    ¡°No your grace. She is improving physically, but her mind still appears clouded. She is more responsive and is beginning to express herself, but language seems to be outside her grasp.¡±


    Marquess Everest leaned back on his seat.


    ¡°I heard rumors. Rumors about Silika... And you. Servants have reportedly heard my daughter speak ¡®in tongues¡¯. Care to elaborate?¡±


    I gritted my teeth. I knew her speech wasn¡¯t random, but if he knew she just couldn¡¯t say the words properly¡­


    ¡°Just maid talk, Marquess. She is still making the same noise as when you last met her.¡±


    He nodded.


    ¡°Have her ready for the evening.¡±


    ¡°Sir?¡±


    ¡°She will be joining us for dinner.¡±


    I bit my lips, but bowed nonetheless.


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    I excused myself and headed back toward Silika¡¯s room.


    Just dinner should be fine, but there¡¯s no telling what could happen. Luckily, they will think nothing of me attending as an aid to the ¡®sickly lady¡¯.


    As I rounded the corner, I found Silika sneaking out of her room again with her bunny rabbit in tow. It never left her side anymore. She had become quite the little explorer in the last few weeks. Her balance had improved, but she was still prone to falling so unfortunately for her, I have no choice but to scold her.


    She turned her head and saw me. Her eyes grew wide.


    ¡°Oh neo¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh yes.¡±


    I picked her up and made a show of scolding her as she sat on the sofa. Of course, I wasn¡¯t actually angry with her. It was natural of her to want to walk around as she had done before, but I couldn¡¯t let her go on her own. If she fell down the stairs or got stuck somewhere, she could get really hurt. By the time I was done, the time had inched forward and was getting close to dinner time.


    I wish I could have given her instructions on what to do and not to do or how to act, but trying to do so might just create more confusion.


    I dressed her up and then carried her to the dining hall. She still held onto her stuffed rabbit, but considering her age and condition, I doubt they will hold it against her.


    The mood at the dining table was awful to say the least. When we arrived, an air of discomfort swept the room. From seeing Silika¡¯s expression, she could tell too.


    Marquess Everest started dinner by addressing the table.


    ¡°I would like to start by saying how happy I am to see our family gathered around the table once again. As I have told you all before, no one is to blame for Silika¡¯s fall and none should feel guilt from it. Your mother and I hope that you will learn to accept Silika despite her condition.¡±


    The marquess put his hand on the marchioness¡¯.


    ¡°Now, why don¡¯t we share what we have been doing for the last few months for Silika? Knox?¡±


    The young lord nodded.


    ¡°Well I have been focusing on reading up on Seeir scriptures. Specifically, on the topic of contract blessings. It seems like a useful skill to have for the future.¡±


    The Marquess approved with a grunt.


    ¡°Blessings granted by Seeir have many uses, but remember to dedicate your study first and foremost on Meiriem scriptures. Her blessings have more uses than it might first seem.¡±


    ¡°Of course father.¡±


    ¡°Ela?¡±


    His oldest daughter cleared her throat.


    ¡°Well, before the cold settles in, I took the opportunity to improve my horse-riding skills. I learned during our trip west that I needed to become stronger so I may be able to travel without discomfort in the future.¡±


    Lord Everest smiled.


    ¡°Very good, Ela. Dalton?¡±


    The little lord seemed a bit at a loss. After all he wasn¡¯t quite 5 years old yet and, like Silika, spent most of his days playing games.


    ¡°I...I¡¯m learning how to play chess.¡±


    My sister smiled.


    ¡°Very good, Dalton. Chess is a true gentleman¡¯s pass time.¡±


    Dalton smiled happily from the praise. The master then turned to Silika and was about to ask her the same question but caught himself. He thought to himself for a second and then looked at her again.


    ¡°Silika? Why don¡¯t you show us what you have there?¡±


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    He asked, referring to the black bunny on Silika¡¯s laps.


    Silika realised she was being asked a question, but was at a loss.


    ¡°It¡¯s simply a stuffed toy, Marquess. The lady has become quite fond of them.¡±


    I answered for her.


    He nodded once more.


    ¡°Then, let us pray to Meiriem to thank them for reuniting our family once more.¡±


    The lord bowed his head and proceeded with the prayer. As usual, everyone repeated after him. Silika tried her best to sound like she was repeating after him, but it could only be described as incomprehensible babbling. She probably forgot what the prayer sounded like.


    The family then proceeded with the meal.


    Marquess Everest conversed with the family, leaving out the topic of Silika from the conversation. The young lady had a great appetite and finished her plate before the rest of the family. She simply sat on her chair looking bored for a while as she waited for the others.


    ¡°Doo as ood! Asit Alki?... Meu¡­ Da ol ood, oi de mai inc um ic.¡±


    I looked down, horrified. Silika had gotten so bored she started playing with her plush, but I had forgotten about her habit of speaking to herself out loud when playing with it.


    ¡°Uoo li inc o? Ei peu o ou!¡±


    I grabbed her by the shoulder and tried to get her to be quiet, but it was too late. The entire table was staring at her horrified.


    ¡°What in Diid¡¯s name is this?!¡±


    Marquess Everest stood up knocking over his wine and staining the lady¡¯s dress.


    ¡°Did you not say she didn¡¯t speak in tongues!¡±


    ¡°Marquess, it¡¯s not what you¡­¡±


    ¡°Quiet! No more lies! The church will decide whether you have been deceiving me. If you did corrupt my daughter you will burn at the stake like the feral Scorn harlot you are! Take her back to her room and have her ready in the morning. You better pray I heard wrong just now!¡±


    Fear grabbed my stomach. I took Silika and left the dining room.


    Should we run away? No they will catch us. We can¡¯t run without preparation.


    I bit my lip, I shouldn¡¯t have waited, there never was any hope to hide her handicap forever. Why did she have to be born in this house?


    The next day, a guard followed me to Silika¡¯s room. I dressed her up and got ready to leave. She tried to grab her bunny plush, but I knew it could only hurt her right now. I promised myself to come and get it later before her parents disposed of it.


    As I carried her to the coach, I felt as if I was sending her off to the gallow. I sat her in the coach under the menacing eyes of her parents.


    After which, I was put under house arrest in my room until further notice.


    I would later learn that what I feared had come to pass. They learned the true nature of Silika¡¯s condition and she was indefinitely confined to her quarters. I was cleared of witchcraft suspicion, but for lying to the lord I continued to be under house arrest.


    Once a day, they allowed me outside of my quarters to deliver food to the lady. Being a heretic, no one wished to approach her for fear of receiving the same divine punishment as she did. As though deafness had anything to do with anything other than her fall. I was therefore ¡®forced¡¯ to deliver the food as part of my punishment accompanied by a guard.


    Whenever the Lord or the lady was present, I was not allowed to deliver the meal.


    One night, as I slid the food through the door, I caught a glimpse of her. She laid lifeless on the floor staring at the ceiling. Her skin was bruised all over and her clothes I had dressed her in on that day were in tatters. Splatters of blood vomit and excrement could be seen around the room.


    My stomach turned as tears welled up in my eyes.


    If it wasn¡¯t for the guard standing behind me¡­ But there¡¯s nothing I can do¡­ For now.


    I bid my time, but I knew every day where I didn¡¯t act meant another scar on Silika. The guilt gnawed at me. I had failed her, but I knew better than acting on my emotions, one wrong move and we would both burn at the stake.


    I discreetly made preparations for an escape route and alibis. Despite being under house arrest, there were no guards at my door. In the dead of the night I snuck out of the house and started making arrangements in town. It needed to look like a kidnapping or murder gone wrong. Silika had to disappear and be presumed dead so we could safely smuggle her out of the reach of the church¡­ and her family.


    One night, I came to Silika¡¯s door with her disgusting meal in hand and knocked. After all, it would do no one any good for me to slip food in while the lady or the lord were present.


    ¡°What is it¡±


    I heard my sister ask from the room.


    ¡°Dinner for the young lady, marchioness.¡±


    I heard her turn around and walk toward the door. The door handle started turning, but then I heard Silika. She let out a long painful sigh. The door handle immediately went back to its original position and I heard Merilia run. I heard struggle and the awful muted gasps of someone being strangled.


    In panic, I instinctively reached for the handle, but heard the rasping of a blade being drawn. I turned my head to see the guard pointing his blade at me with a cold look in his eyes. I retracted my hand and he sheathed his sword.


    The noise continued with the intermittent gasps of Silika struggling for air.


    Tears were flowing from my eyes as I resisted the urge to barge in. I couldn¡¯t¡­


    Then the sound of slaps began. It felt as if it went on for hours until it was interrupted by a dull thumping noise. I heard my sister gasping for air.


    Did Silika hit her back? How is that¡­


    But then I heard it, a piercing guttural scream.


    It pierced right through the door into my own ears. The sound was so strong that even the guard threw his helmet off and tried to cover his ears.


    ¡°Is that..?¡±


    That scream. It¡¯s more than just a scream. It¡¯s a blessing. A scorn blessing...


    Merilia stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind her. Leaning against it for support.


    The screaming stopped.


    Merilia stared at the guard.


    ¡°Leave.¡±


    The guard bowed and walked away. I was about to follow along, but my sister raised her hand to tell me to wait.


    Once the guard was out of earshots, she looked at me with contempt for a few seconds before addressing me.


    ¡°She¡¯s like you. Father¡¯s dirty blood managed to stain her after all this time.¡±


    She said in a spiteful tone.


    I grit my teeth and cast my sight downward.


    She hesitated before continuing.


    ¡°I guess animals attract each other. I¡¯ll give you a choice: make her disappear before sunrise or I will make you both disappear before the next.¡±


    Without another word, she left.


    I waited until she turned the corner before rushing inside the room. On the floor laid Silika, battered and bruised under the soft moonglow seeping through the gaps of the windows.


    I ran to her, dropping the food tray filled with half rotten food I had been carrying.


    Her eyes were half open as if her mind was between life and death.


    ¡°Oh by Seeir, what has she done to you.¡±


    I said as tears flowed through my eyes. As I wiped the blood and mucus from her bruised face, I saw between her swollen eyelids, something I never expected. Her iris had turned a warm shimmering golden colour, the same as mine.


    I hate to admit it, but my sister was right. No matter how it occurred, if the marquess or the church caught wind of this, neither of us would see the next sunrise.


    By Supernove Negra


    I picked her up and used my apron as a blanket to cover her.


    ¡°It¡¯s going to be ok. I¡¯m getting you out of here.¡±


    The preparations aren¡¯t finished, but they will have to do...

 10. Escape

    I did it. I stood up to my mother and made her flee, but at what cost? The darkness had swallowed me once more and I couldn¡¯t start to imagine what I would wake up to. Will they whip me harder? Break my arms? Rip out my nails and hair?


    As my mind settled back into my body, the pain was excruciating. I felt as if my whole body was on fire. I had gotten used to that from the continuous beatings of the last few weeks, but now my face, my throat and my chest also felt on fire. Something was hitting me repeatedly on the back.


    They didn¡¯t even wait for me to wake up to beat me...


    I opened my eyes, but, to my surprise, I was in Goldie¡¯s arms, wrapped up in some kind of sheet. The rhythmic thumps I had felt were simply her arms holding me as she walked briskly through the estate. I looked up and saw tears streaming down her face.


    [Goldie? What¡¯s¡­?]


    She looked down surprised and put a finger on my lips as if to tell me to be quiet.


    My ears were still ringing and my face felt sore, so the simple pressure of the finger was enough to make me wince, but I held it in. It hurt, but I felt safe in her arms.


    She looked around the corner of the hall furtively.


    Is she.. Sneaking me out?


    She rounded the corner and quickly went down the stairs in the darkness. Instead of going down the next hallway, she took a servant door and headed into the courtyard. We strayed off the path and stuck to the forested areas of the courtyard.


    A light came our way and Goldie hid us behind a tree while covering my mouth. The pain made me tear up, but I stayed quiet.


    Once the light  disappeared, she released her hand and the cold stung my face.


    Through the leaves, I finally spotted our destination, the servant building.


    Instead of the main door, Goldie circled around the main body and headed for a small wing. She spotted a low window, opened it with one hand and slipped us in.


    The room was dark, but I could tell it was a bedroom, Goldie¡¯s most likely.


    She sat me on a bed, took out a match and lit a candle by the bedside before shutting the window behind us.


    She then faced me.


    I could now see her more clearly. Her tears had dried up, but her face looked gaunt. My eyes were a bit blurry, but I could tell she had lost weight.


    Gently, she pulled off my dress, ripping painful scabs that had fused with the fabric in the process. I winced weakly, but this was nothing at this point.


    I saw my own naked body for the first time in weeks. I was covered in bruises, scratches and wounds. My skin was no longer an even peach colour. It was a pudgy mess of purple, yellow and green stains dancing under the warm light of the candle.


    Suddenly I felt a cold sensation which almost made me let out a yelp.


    Goldie was wiping my body with a wet cloth. It hurt but felt good as the dried blood and dirt was wiped away.


    It also made the things that happened to me so much more real.


    What my parents¡­ No, what my whole family did to me wasn¡¯t a nightmare. It was real.


    By the time she was done, many of the blisters had reopened. She applied an ointment and wrapped them in bandages. It stung, but it was soothing in a way.


    Once she was done covering my body in bandages, she took a brown dress from her closet and dressed me.


    I felt refreshed but exhausted. The pain was still there, but it somehow felt more sanitary.


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    I looked up at Goldie. As I had noticed before, she did look much thinner. A bit more on edge than before with large dark circles under her eyes, but she still smiled at me.


    I looked up at her, having difficulty keeping my eyes open, I could see she was trying to hold herself together. Just as I could tell her smile was breaking, she hugged me.


    It hurt, my whole body hurt, but it was comforting at the same time to be held again. She let go of me and said something.


    She stood up and went toward her closet. She grabbed a large cloak and something else. She extended her hand to me. I didn¡¯t recognise it right away. It was soft and dark. Although my eyes were blurry and fatigued, I finally remembered.


    Darkie!


    I hugged him strongly.


    [I missed you so much¡­]


    ¡°I missed you too.¡±


    I looked up at Goldie, but, before I could say anything, she placed a finger in front of her mouth.


    I nodded. I guess someone could hear me.


    She made me lay down on the bed and tucked me under the blanket. She then put on the cloak and waved at me lightly as she headed out the window, leaving me alone in the room with the dancing candle.


    I held Darkie tightly as I waited for Goldie to come back.


    As I felt the comforting weight of the blanket, I closed my eyes.


    It had been a long time since I had been covered by anything but that disgusting blue dress.


    Blue and pink¡­ Images of my mother and father surfaced in my mind.


    I suddenly felt short of breath and cold sweat ran down my back.


    Please don¡¯t find me... Please please please¡­ Just leave me alone.


    ¡°Silika? What¡¯s wrong?


    I squeezed Darkie harder


    [It¡¯s nothing. I¡¯m ok now.]


    I think I¡¯ve seen enough of those colours for a lifetime.


    The warmth of the blanket calmed my mind and I closed my eyes again.


    I suddenly felt the ground shake. I opened my eyes and I was back on the cold marble floor of my room. I saw the shadow of feet filter through the bottom seam of the door. I tried to run away, but they caught me. I tried to scream but they covered my mouth. I struggled and struggled until I noticed the light of the candle.


    I was back in Goldie¡¯s room. She was holding her hand over my mouth while insistently signalling me to be quiet as she looked at the door in panic. I stopped struggling and stared at the door too.  She said something toward it and then waited for a moment. She turned back to me and insisted on the finger in front of her lips. I nodded.


    She released my mouth and made me stand up.


    It was still pitch black outside and the candle had only lost a bit of its length. Only a bit of time had gone by since she left.


    Goldie dressed me in a dark green cloak similar to hers and picked me up once more. We left the servants building through the window once more.


    We walked through the gardens until we reached the walls of the estate. There was a ladder already propped there.


    She climbed it while cradling me.


    There was no ladder on the other side and so she dropped roughly on the ground, while still holding on to me.


    This was the road around the estate. On the other side, a coach waited in the shadow of a tree. A man was leaning on its side wearing all black with a hat covering his eyes. When he spotted us he motioned us over.


    Goldie jogged across as the man opened the door. She sat me on the bench of the carriage and handed the driver a bag that had been hanging from her side all this time.


    She looked back at me and hugged me tightly. Kissing my forehead tenderly.


    She looked at me one more time before closing the door of the coach.


    Without leaving me time to say anything, the horses took off at full speed, throwing me against the back of the bench. I stood on my knees and looked back through the rear window at the dark shape of Goldie under the moonlight. Seeing for one last time her golden eyes shining in the darkness.


    We sped down the road and as I was staring out of the window we passed the front gate of the estate where two men stood guard.


    I reflexively dropped into my seat.


    Did they see me? Oh gods... are they coming after us?


    The coach driver kept going into the night.


    We reached a dark forest and the coach came to a sudden stop.


    The driver came to my door and picked me up from my bench as I held on to Darkie. Outside, I saw a tree fallen across the road, and, on the other side, another coach and a driver waiting at the tree.


    The driver carried me to the other coach driver who was dressed much less suspiciously and handed me to him above the tree. He also handed the bag Goldie had given him. They nodded at each other and went their separate way.


    The new driver smiled at me warmly and sat me at the back of his carriage. It was much smaller, with only enough space for two passengers at the back and a driver¡¯s bench.


    We departed again just as the sun rose ahead of us between the ears of the horses.


    As I looked at the sky, I saw tiny glitters reflected in the waking sun¡¯s light.


    I poked my head outside the window just in time for something cold to land on my nose.


    [Snow¡­]


    ¡°It¡¯s so pretty!¡±


    [Yes. Very pretty.]

 11. Shades of white and green

    The journey was a long one and I was all too unaware of our destination. I had seen a map of the world once in a book, but the memory was blurry and my sense of direction wasn¡¯t very sharp.


    All I knew is that we weren¡¯t going toward the sea as the forest surrounding the road had grown thicker.


    At first I slept much of the time under a heavy blanket at the driver''s side. It was a strange experience to be facing the road instead of seeing pass as blur through the small windows on the side of carriages, but my condition made it difficult to enjoy


    The snow that had fallen the night of my escape did not subsist very long, but the temperature was still very cold and the snowfall had made the road muddy and treacherous. I could handle the cold thanks to the heavy fur blankets the driver had given me, but every bump in the road made my wounds ache.


    Some were still fresh and prone to bleeding. In the first few days of our journey, the driver had to change my bandages several times a day. In the evening, he would always apply some ointment.


    During that time, we almost never stopped our ride. Once or even twice a day, we would stop at a travelling station and would trade-in our horses for a fresh pair that could go on riding. We would only ever stop either when it got so dark the horses stopped walking, or when it rained too hard.


    Eventually the forest let up and I finally recognised something. I had heard about it countless times, but seeing it was something else entirely; before us was Lake Alenia. The largest lake in the whole world. It was called that way because the goddess of Harvest, Alenia, had blessed the valley and water reservoir with a miracle of fertility. People from all over the continent flocked here to get rare herbs that could only be gathered here or some prized blessed fertiliser.


    By Hpeh


    By this point I had healed the worst of my injuries and so when it had come into view I had excitedly stood up on the bench. Amused by my reaction, the driver had held me steady as I stared into the endless water. It looked like the sea, but the smell was different. It felt more¡­ Alive.


    From this point on, our speed slowed down and the coach driver and I started interacting more often. He would point out things around us and would go into long tirades over them. I guessed he must have been explaining what they were or some sort of story they were involved with. Despite not understanding them, it was entertaining enough to look at his gesticulations and funny facial expressions.


    We also started stopping to rest every night and every so often we would rest at an inn. It was both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, resting in a soft bed allowed me to forget about all the pain for the night, but every morning it made me dread getting back onto the carriage.


    The snow started falling again and contrary to back in Oblon, it started piling up. In the region around the estate, the warm winds of the Southern sea had always made the winters milder, but here the cold remained.


    Weeks went by and by the time we reached a large winding valley, the snow almost reached my knees.


    The trip through the valley took quite a long time. It was a strange place, the mountains reached far above and on its sides, small villages sprouted, overlooking us on the road. After a few days, the mountains gave way to the great sprawling field that had been described to me countless times.


    The Plains of Midlands. The very heart of the kingdom of Firsland and the last parting gift of the god of creation. ¡°Enough fertile land for kin and mann to never go hungry¡± the bishop had said in his sermons.


    The very memory of his voice in my head made me want to puke.


    At the very center of these plains stood the kingdom''s capital, the great walled city of Evergreen.


    It had been from there, on that day, that my parents had been returning from. The city was home of the king, and as such, nobles flocked to it to convene with each other. Almost all nobles had a residence in the city and used them to hold extravagant balls. A perfect place to grow within social circles¡­ Or in the case of Ela and Knox, hold their social debut.


    I doubt I will be doing the same.


    The grassfields looked endless Amongst the snow covered grass, we encountered farms, villages and even towns.


    After weeks of travel, Evergreen came into sight. What had first looked like a line of trees on the horizon turned into an enormous wall surrounding the island city. Before the river sprawled a gigantic bourg which we reached much before the city.


    Centuries ago, people would have never dared to build outside its walls which had kept the kingdom¡¯s heart safe from all kinds of threats throughout the ages as only a fool would try to lay siege on a city the size of a large county.


    We rode through the roads of the bourg and reached the bridge which would take us across the canal into the city. It was bustling with people. More than I had ever seen at once. Some looked like travellers, others were merchants, nobles, craftsmen and peasants¡­ All in one single place.


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    Not only were they of all different classes, but they were of all different heritage as well. Some had pink hair like mine, while others had green, red, purple, brown, blonde, golden, black¡­ It was as if I was walking in a sea of colours.


    Each of them looked different and unique. Nothing like the estate where most people had been of either Meiriem, Alenia or Seeir descent.


    What struck me even more was that many of them seemed to not wear any insignia at all around their neck. They would simply walk around in a shirt or vest with nothing around their neck.


    At home, anyone past the age of their baptism was expected to always wear their Meiriem insignia around their neck¡­ Or at least some other god¡¯s symbol. Even Goldie had always worn the eye of Seeir, but here in the city it was different.


    Here, everyone walked on the same paved road and inhaled the same air, regardless of what they wore. I had never experienced anything like it.


    We finished crossing the bridge and arrived at the city gates. A guard stopped our horses and approached the driver. As they started speaking, the driver handed the guard some documents which this one read with great interest. After a moment he motioned toward me. After a moment of hesitation, the driver picked me up and sat me on his knees, allowing me to face the guard.


    I felt flustered at suddenly being handled like a baby, but kept myself from grunting. To my surprise, the guard facing me had a kind smile on his face.


    As his piercing green eyes looked into mine, he spoke a few words to me.


    [Sorry, I don¡¯t understand.]


    I felt a pinching sensation in my chest as I said these words. I expected the guard to get angry, but instead he simply smiled and turned to the driver who spoke a few words to him. From their motions, he seemed to be explaining that I couldn¡¯t hear.


    The soldier looked back at me with a smile. He stuck his spear underneath his armpit and used his two hands to point at me and the driver in succession. He then showed me two thumbs up before tilting his head as if to ask a question and looked at me expectantly.


    I didn¡¯t fully understand what he meant, but I guess he was asking if the driver and I were friends. I nodded my head vehemently. After all, he had brought me all the way here and taken care of me in the process.


    The guard smiled once more. He said a few words to the coach driver as he handed him back the document. He then extended his hand toward the open road through the gate, welcoming us into the city.


    The coach driver shook his rein and the horses started walking down the arched gateway. As the stone ceiling gave way to the open air, I took my first look at the city.


    It was beyond any word I could find. In front of us were hundreds upon hundreds of houses, shops and warehouses. The lower parts were made of cut stones, but large wooden structures grew into the sky. Suspended passageways and drying lines ran above the narrow busy streets.


    As we navigated through the crowd, I observed the people around us. They would run from one building to another like ants. Sometimes laughing with friends or grumbling at people blocking the way as they carried bundles of food, tools and other objects. I even saw two men carrying an entire bed through the snow covered streets!


    We rode through these maze-like streets for more than an hour and eventually made it to a somewhat quieter area. We eventually stopped in front of a large house with a front garden covered in show. There was a billboard on the lawn, but I couldn¡¯t read it.


    The coach driver hopped off his seat with the bag Goldie had given him all those days ago. He helped me down the carriage and we walked hand-in-hand to the porch. There, he used the iron door knocker. We waited a few moments for someone to come open the door, but when no one came, he knocked again.


    After a moment, the door opened and a man dressed in a green apron welcomed us. I looked up to see him, but was taken aback. At first I thought he had been an old man because of his white hair, but he looked no older than Goldie. His hair ran all the way down to his shoulder and framed his face where two scarlet eyes were examining us.


    Reflexively I hid behind the coach driver. His appearance reminded me of one of the horrible snow wolves my sister had told me about to scare me away from wanting to go outside during winter.


    The man seemed curious about my reaction, but didn¡¯t say anything and instead started talking with the coach driver. This one also took out a letter from the bag and handed it to the scarlet eyed man.


    He read over the content and nodded before looking down at me and smiling. He crouched down so his head could almost be level with mine.


    Still intimidated by his appearance, I continued hiding behind the driver and clutching unto Darkie.


    He looked down at my arms and noticed the small bunny tucked in my arms. He started extending his hand toward him, but I pulled away. What was he trying to do? Steal him from me?


    The man froze for a moment. I looked cautiously at him as he lifted his hands innocently before going for Darkie again. This time I couldn¡¯t move fast enough and he took hold of Darkie¡¯s paw. I held onto him with all my strength so he wouldn¡¯t be ripped away from me, but to my surprise, the man simply shook the bunny¡¯s paw.


    ¡°What a nice person! Everyone always forgets to greet me!¡±


    Darkie exclaimed.


    I looked at him dubiously.


    [You think he¡¯s nice?]


    ¡°Of course! Only nice people greet others properly!:


    His logic seemed sound, but I wasn¡¯t convinced.


    [But isn¡¯t he scary?]


    ¡°Scary? How?¡±


    [His hair is all white¡­ Like ice. And his eyes are the same colour as blood. I¡¯m scared he¡¯ll hurt us. I never met anyone like that before.]


    ¡°So? You never met anyone like Goldie and I before, but you aren¡¯t scared of us.¡±


    [Oh¡­]


    I felt slightly embarrassed after thinking about it for a moment. I looked up at the man again just in time to see him chuckling. I felt as if he was laughing at me and I frowned angrily, but that only made him chuckle more.


    [Is he making fun of us?]


    ¡°I think he is.¡±


    I grumbled but the man simply ruffled my hair roughly before standing up again. I was still annoyed that he had made fun of me, but I wasn¡¯t scared anymore.


    Seeing us getting along, the coach driver simply tipped his hat and started heading back toward the coach. I tried to follow him, but I felt something holding me back by the shoulder. I looked up and saw the white haired man shaking his head.


    I watched as the driver climbed onto his bench and looked back at me waving his hand as the carriage departed. I felt tears swelling in my eyes as the last connection I had to my old life disappeared as it rounded the corner of a building.


    The white haired man crouched to my side and extended his hand toward me. Unsure what would become of me from now on.


    I held onto his hand as he guided me into the building and toward my new life.

 12. New life

    As we entered the building hand-in-hand alongside the white haired man, I saw two kids run out of a door and another pop up behind them to look at them running. He turned toward us for a second and laughed before running after the others.


    As we walked down the hall, I noticed more and more children walking around.


    This is¡­ An orphanage.


    I came to the realisation before we even reached our destination at the end of the hallway. It was a hall filled with small beds. He guided me to the one beside the door and went to the small chest in front of it. I could see from the other chests that that was where the orphans kept their belongings.


    ¡°But you¡¯re not an orphan Silika¡­¡±


    Darkie said.


    I thought about what she said for a moment. What IS an orphan exactly? Was it when a parent died? Or was it just when you weren¡¯t with them anymore. Regardless, it doesn¡¯t matter.


    [I am now.]


    The man smiled at me and opened the bag he had been holding. Most of it seemed to contain paperwork and other trinkets, but he took out a few daily necessities Goldie must have put in the bag before we left. There was a single change of clothes, a yellow dress, a hairbrush, a toothbrush and a hairband. None of them resonated with me. They were an assortment of objects I had never seen before. There was the same balm she had used on my wounds and the coach driver had applied during our journey as well, but he put it back in the bag. I also had no use for all the paper he didn¡¯t take out from the bag as I still couldn¡¯t read. The only important thing to me was in my arms, and he wouldn¡¯t go into that box any time soon.


    He finally took out a brown pouch. It¡¯s content looked heavy, and I could make out the circular shape of coins through the leather. He looked at it for a second and then back at me.


    He said something to me in very slow words trying to trace every syllable with his lips.


    I somewhat understood that he would keep it for now as he put it back into the bag and closed it.


    After placing my things in the box, the man took my hand and we headed back down the corridor. We turned at a door into what looked like a large playroom. A dozen kids were playing with toys and games with each other. I could even see some of the older kids reading to the younger ones.


    I saw the man clear his throat and exclaim something loudly. I couldn¡¯t tell how loud, but suddenly I felt the entire building shake and two dozen more kids poured from the door behind us. One bumped into me but didn¡¯t even apologize.


    Once everyone was gathered, the red-eyed man made me stand in front of him with his two hands on my shoulders. He spoke to them for a while as the younger ones struggled to keep still. Eventually they were all dismissed. Some of them came to greet me or simply waved as they went back to their games. He motioned to a girl a bit older than I was. He told her something and then lightly pushed me in her direction. I looked back at him, but he was already waving goodbye as he left the room.


    She was almost a head taller than me and had jade coloured eyes and blond hair. She had a kind smile on her face and took me by the hand. She dragged me to a corner of the room with a big box. She let go of my hand for a moment and dug out something from the box and showed it to me.


    It was a brown horse plush.


    [Wow! You have a plush too?]


    She grinned proudly and sat down on the ground and I did the same.


    ¡°Hi there I¡¯m Darkie!¡±


    Darkie waved.


    ¡°Hi! I¡¯m Horsie!¡±


    The horse waved back.


    ¡°It¡¯s the first time I talked like that with someone else! Normally I only talk to my friend Silika.¡±


    Darkie pointed at me.


    ¡°Really? I have a lot of friends! Let me show you.¡±


    The other girl helped Horsie up to the box and took out a wooden soldier with a stick for a sword.


    Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.


    ¡°Look! This is Knight!¡±


    ¡°Wow! He¡¯s pretty cool! But isn¡¯t his armor too hard?¡±


    ¡°Not at all, look!¡±


    The girl put the toy soldier on the horse and made it ride on its back.


    I laughed. The horse was way too small for the wood soldier.


    ¡°But sometimes he does this weird thing¡­¡±


    I watched as the girl grabbed the sword from the soldier''s hand. I felt a sting in my chest.


    ¡°...Where he hits me with it¡±


    She took the wooden stick and smacked it against the horse. I felt my breath getting stuck in my throat. My eyes dry up. Tears pooling at their corners.


    ¡°All I can do is run faster when he does that, but it hurts¡­. So¡­ Much¡­¡±


    I felt the sting of the crop as Horsie was hit by the wooden soldier in the shadow of the girl¡¯s golden hair. Horsie was hit over and over again as it struggled to move faster.


    My mind froze. I was suddenly back on that marble floor. I saw the shadow of legs in the light filtering through the seam of the door. I tried to turn and run, but the crop reached me first. It whipped me. Tearing my skin and leaving painful marks.


    I screamed for help but it didn¡¯t stop. I curled into a bar holding Darkie as the stick of the crop hit me over and over again as I begged for it to step through tears and snot. I kept emptying my lungs hoping to drown out the pain, but no noise came out and every hit was more painful.


    The feeling slowly started to fade and the hit of the crop on my back turned into soft pats. I wasn¡¯t on the marble floor. Instead I was being rocked back and forth.


    I opened my swollen eyes. Through my burning eyes I saw white hair dancing above me. I was in the man¡¯s arms as he sat on the floor, eyes closed, trying to sooth me.


    He was moving his mouth slowly as if singing a song. I couldn¡¯t hear it, but the simple idea was recomforting. He opened his eyes and noticed I had calmed down. He picked up Darkie from the ground and handed him to me. I hugged him tightly.


    ¡°Are you ok?¡±


    [I¡¯m ok now.]


    The man stood with me still in his arms as the other children stared, scared looks on their faces.


    We entered a room that looked like an office and he sat me on a couch.


    I noticed my sleeves were torn in several places. I could feel a sharp pain in my arms. The man went up to his desk and came back to me with Goldie¡¯s balm and started rolling up my sleeve.


    He had barely raised it up to my elbow before he stopped his hand. I followed his gaze to the countless bruises on my forearm. They didn¡¯t hurt anymore, but it must have been pretty ugly from another''s perspective. His brows furrowed and he looked at me.


    This amount was nothing to me anymore. Nothing compared to the kicking, the choking, or even just the smell and the stomach churning stickiness of the marble floor.


    I looked at him unwavering as he bit his lips. He continued applying the balm without meeting my eyes.


    The rest of the day went by in a blur. I sat in the office as the man worked through documents. He wrote letters and made notes on paper. He occasionally left the room and came back minutes later giving a worried look in my direction as I simply sat still on the sofa.


    I tried my best not to think, not even speaking to Darkie. There were memories and thoughts at the edge of my consciousness. I feared that if I let myself feel joy, the pain would also come back just as quick.


    As the sun started to set, he held me by the hand and we walked to the dining room. There, I could see the older children cooking a meal as the younger ones were setting the tables. He sat me down at the corner and sat down beside me at the end of the table. An older kid placed a bowl of stew in front of me. Everyone sat down and looked toward the man. He said a few words before dipping his spoon into his food followed by everyone else in the room.


    No prayer or anything. Strange.


    I hesitantly picked up my spoon and ate along, but I didn¡¯t have much of an appetite. The supper concluded and we walked back to the office. My eyes felt heavy. It had been a very long day.


    It was already dark outside. The winter solstice is probably drawing close¡­ The man put down his quill and looked up at me. Probably noticing my fatigue he stood up and helped me off the couch. We walked down the corridor into the dormitory. No one else was in bed yet, but he helped me settle into my bed.


    It wasn¡¯t long before my eyes closed and this long day finally came to a close¡­ Or so I had thought.


    It was the dead of night when I awoke to an unfamiliar ceiling only illuminated by the blue moonglow. I turned to my side and saw a boy, maybe 7 or 8, sleeping in the bed beside mine.


    Boys and girls sleeping in the same room? That¡¯s odd¡­ My mother would be furious if she¡­


    From the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of something. A pale flutter of pink. I turned my head but it was gone. I saw a similar flutter at the bottom of my vision and sat up.


    She¡¯s here, she must be.


    Panicked, I looked around but couldn¡¯t see her yet...


    Suddenly, it fell on my face. A long strand of pink hair. Panicked I fell off my bed, but it stuck to my face. I tried to pull it off but it hurt my scalp.


    The hair¡­ Her hair¡­ It¡¯s part of me. She¡¯s part of me.


    The idea made me sick to the stomach. Her silver eyes filled with hatred as she choked me surfaced in my mind.


    I ran out of the room. I needed something. Something to take her out.


    I reached the kitchen. I found a sharp knife and started cutting. Cutting every pink strand that came into my view Until no matter how much I shook my head, no hair came into view of my face. I dropped the knife in the pile of hair and simply walked back to my bed where Darkie was waiting for me.


    ¡°What happened?¡±


    [I saw something scary.]


    ¡°Is it gone?¡±


    [Yeah, it¡¯s gone.]


    I hugged him and fell asleep, my heart lighter.

 13. Bed hair

    I was roughly woken up from my sleep. After weeks of sleeping on the road I had been enjoying the comfort of a proper blanket, but something else had been planned for me on that day.


    My mind still half-asleep, I noticed that the white haired man was shaking my shoulder to wake me up as the other children chaotically got out of bed and huddled together in the middle of the room.


    I wiped the lazy tears at the corner of my eyes and got up as well.


    I went to join the others but he held me back by the shoulder. I looked up at the man¡¯s face and noticed his expression. The man was angry. He was shouting something at the kids gathered in front of him.


    They looked bewildered and confused. Amongst them I noticed some of them sneaking confused looks at me. Despite their overall pitiful expression, I noticed that some of them seemed very amused.


    Whatever the kids were being scolded for, it was in my regards.


    Did they play pranks on me while I slept? I hadn¡¯t noticed anything as of yet and I surely hadn¡¯t had time to complain to the white haired-man yet.


    I scratched my head, wondering what was going on, and when I retrieved my hand, I noticed pink hair stuck to my fingers. At first, a feeling of disgust filled me as I remembered the events of the previous night, but then I came to a realisation.


    I looked at the hand the man had been waving around for several minutes now. Clasped between his fingers was a lock of pink hair. Mine.


    He thinks one of them cut my hair! They will probably get in trouble¡­ I need to say something.


    I pulled on his sleeve, but he didn¡¯t seem to notice me as he continued his tirade, so I grabbed his sleeve again with both my hands and pulled as hard as I could.


    Although it still wasn¡¯t enough to shake him, he noticed my efforts to get his attention.


    He kneeled down.


    [I cut it.]


    He ignored what I told him and showed me the strands of hair in his hand and pointed at the kids.


    I shook my head.


    [I said that *I* cut it!]


    He still didn¡¯t listen and instead resumed scolding the other kids while kneeling in front of me.


    I know that when I speak others only hear gibberish, but I have had enough of not getting heard.


    I yanked his hand as hard as I could to force him to watch me.


    Before I lost his attention again, I took a deep breath and puffed my cheeks. I would get him to understand even if it was the last thing I ever did


    [I]


    I put a hand on my chest.


    [CUT]


    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    I motionned the movement of scissors with my fingers.


    [IT]


    I yanked on my own hair angrily and pointed at the hair in his hand.


    He looked at me stunned. I could see the children in front of him muttering amongst themselves and pointing at me.


    He frowned and mouthed something with an incredulous expression.


    Without hearing what he said I knew he was saying.


    [¡®You cut it?¡±]


    I nodded vehemently.


    I could see the children reacting. Some were chuckling while others looked at me with pity in their eyes while he only looked at me in silence.


    Will I be punished? It was too late to regret it now anyway, but I was scared of the type of punishment I would get in an orphanage. My sister had read me terrible stories of orphans being beaten by the people who ran these places...


    He let out a sigh and dismissed the other children. He looked at me for a moment before taking my hand and walking me to his office.


    He made me sit on a chair at the center of the room.


    I waited anxiously as he dug for something in his desk drawer.


    To my surprise he pulled out a hand mirror and made me look at my reflection.


    My hair was a mess, the front looked like it had been ripped apart by a monkey while the back still reached down to my shoulders.


    ¡°You look dumb!¡±


    Darkie said mockingly.


    I let out a grunt which only brought a chuckle out of the man and Darkie.


    Something else caught my eye when looking in the mirror, or, to be more accurate, my eyes caught my eye. While before they had been a reflective silver, they were now bright gold.


    I took the mirror from him and brought it closer. I blinked and moved my head and eyes around, but it was no trick of the light, my eyes were no longer the same they had been before.


    [They look just like Goldie¡¯s¡­]


    The thought made my chest feel warm, but at the same time I was at a loss. How had the change occurred who, what, how and when did this happen?


    [Why are my eyes gold?]


    Confused, I tried to ask the man but all I received in return was a curious look. I tried gesticulating and pointing at my eyes to get my point across like earlier, but my question didn¡¯t get across. He took away the mirror, much to my disappointment, and took out a pair of scissors from his desk.


    He started chiseling away at my hair. After several minutes he showed me my reflection once more.


    [...I look like a boy.]


    I let out another grunt which only earned me an unimpressed look from the man.


    By Physhstu


    After cleaning up the hair on the floor, I stayed in the man¡¯s office for the rest of the morning. He was probably reluctant to leave me on my own after yesterday¡¯s incident.


    It wasn¡¯t until noon that we left his office for the dining room. During lunch, the other children glanced at me from the corner of their eyes, but none of them addressed me.


    I didn¡¯t know what to make of their stares. Some were obviously very amused at my appearance while others looked worried or downright angry at me.


    After lunch, all the kids gathered in the main playroom. The younger kids were getting seated around a small platform as the older kids set up curtains and decoration on the scene.


    [A play?]


    The man left me to my own device as he went to help them set up the stage. I looked around for somewhere for Darkie and I to sit. I spotted the girl from yesterday waving at me, but I turned away. I don¡¯t want to be friends with someone that would hurt someone as nice as Horsie for fun.


    I found an empty space toward the opposite side and sat down. The kids in the front were starting to get up to the side of the stage in costumes. They were cheaply put together with pieces of fabric, but the characters were recognisable.


    ¡°Do you know what play this is?¡±


    Darkie asked me.


    [Of course, I¡¯ve seen it before. This is the only story you can read in every god scriptures: Roots.]


    The play began and I watched as it reenacted the very beginning of our universe.

 14. Story: Root

    This is a tale brough from our far ancestors. Before any kingdoms or strife.


    In those immemorial times, there was a great tree, Alcorn. It stood alone in the emptiness of the universe. For an eternity, the immaterial plane was nothing but incandescent light until one day, a single seed grew the great tree¡¯s branch. It plunged toward the ground and on impact grew into a lively dancing flame. The flames danced around the tree merily and explored the vast emptiness.


    The flame was Life and she named herself Fey. As she frolicked in her fiery dress, life spread across existence. It spread so much that every nook and crannies of existence became engulfed by its creation and it could grow no further.


    Chagrined that life would come to a halt, Fey approached Alcorn and begged for it to allow more life to be created.


    Alcorn asked her if that was truly her heart''s desire.


    Fey agreed, and so another seed sprouted and fell to the ground. A miasma spread from it which slowly extinguished life.


    Fey felt betrayed, but for every life that died, a new one could take its place.


    She felt respect for this new being which allowed her to create more, despite destroying what she had created. She introduced herself and it did the same. It was death and he named himself Solomon.


    A balance was struck and the perpetual cycle continued, but it felt incomplete. It had no movement. Life stood still only to wait until it was extinguished from existence.


    A third seed sprouted and from it two beings emerged and approached life and death. They introduced themselves as love and named themselves Meiriem. They brought life together allowing a movement, but inevitably life became stagnant once again when all of it was brought together.


    Frustrated Meiriem approached Alcorn and asked to make their action meaningful and so it once again sprouted a seed.


    Immediately it started ripping apart life and aggressively threw them far and wide. It never stopped, constantly splitting what had once been a whole. It only told the others its name as it travelled from one bunch of life to another. She was Scorn. She was hate.


    The world now flowed in a cycle of life, union, separation and death. The pattern repeated itself eternally in this order like the flow of water.


    To Alcorn, this pattern was no different from the incandescent void. To keep the pattern of change, yet another seed fell from its branches. As soon as it hit the ground it started rolling in all directions. It bumped into life, death, love and hate indiscriminately. It introduced itself as Diid, he was Chaos.


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    Diid was so effective in the unexpected that nothing could happen properly. The patterns had not only been broken, but completely thrown into disarray, and so Alcorn created one final seed.


    She was Seeir, the one who brings order. She reined in Diid yet permitted the world to move within a functioning ecosystem.


    It is then that memorial time began. The infinite consistency that had  made up the universe up until then had been broken and life now could flourish.


    The beings that made this possible came to call themselves gods. They would use leaves from Alcorn to create further gods to direct new aspects to their creation. In time, an infinite amount of gods came to be. They started shaping life in their image and to protect it, they all created beings they could call kin. These kins came to be known as mann and were tasked to maintain the balance between the different aspects of the universe.


    But it was not to stay. The First War occured and tore the immaterium apart. Gods pitted their kin against other gods and the world fell into a pandemonium that risked extinguishing the entirety of existence.


    Countless gods came and went from existence, and their kins did as much. The war raged on until it came to a standstill. The six original gods met under Alcorn to discuss how to reestablish a balance.


    They came to the conclusion that one of them had to withdraw from the world for balance to once more reign. Diid created an uneven dice upon which their fate would be cast. Each of the 6 sides represented one of them.


    The dice rolled, but only stood on its edge. A collective realisation came to them. The only one who had not been represented on the dice was Alcorn himself.


    This one accepted his fate and withdrew. As it''s root withered, the immaterial plane it had supported collapsed. God, mann and the rest of creation fell to the material plane. In doing so, gods lost much of their insight and influence and were confined to physical form. Alcorn  tasked the gods to care for mann who had suffered greatly in their war.


    As a parting gift, Alcorn created Evergreen, a great oak tree, which allowed mann to commune with gods, no matter the distance.


    It forever connected the fate of mann and gods, for if a god failed to commune with its kins, it would be a god no more.


    Over the centuries, manns and gods spread far and wide from Evergreen.


    They intermingled and created kins of impure blood who, despite being of gods appearances, no longer bare their attributes. Few of these pure kins still are in existence today. They live in far and isolated places.


    Most gods rescinded from an active role in the world, believing mann to be deserving of self determination, but others thought differently who decided to guide man directly.Such was the case for the goddess of order Seeir who created a Theocracy where she reigned supreme.


    This splintered religious fervour. While gods walk among us, they are far from omnipotent. Churches were established by them to protect the balance, but over time churches had developed minds of their own. Although an order had to be approved by its god and given a miracle to be considered official, the continent was far and wide, a god, especially a major one like Meiriem, relied on its bishops to enact their commandments. They, in the end, decided what offset the balance.

 15. Colours of life

    The play was told clumsily by the children. I couldn¡¯t hear the lines, but I could tell they were stammering on difficult words and sometimes forgetting their lines completely. They tripped on the poorly made costumes and even managed to break one of the seed props.


    It was quite funny to look at, but I tried to keep a straightface since the others were watching so attentively.


    They ended the story at the establishment of churches and their role in keeping the balance between what the gods had intended their blessings to be for, and what they were truly used for.


    Blessings are the powers we were gifted by the gods. Contrary to miracles, which were a manifestation of holy power by gods themselves, any kin could use a blessing from a god they descended from after receiving their baptism as long as they could muster the right emotion.


    I was still too young to be able to use blessings as I hadn¡¯t received my baptism, but I knew they were achieved through faith in the doctrines a god taught¡­


    While I was distracted, I noticed the room started clapping and I hurriedly followed suit.


    The white haired man came up front to congratulate the actors. He turned toward the room and announced something. A lot of the kids around my age looked excited, while the older kids looked slightly annoyed.


    The crowd was dismissed and the others went back to play. I sat there for a bit, thinking.


    Now that I was thinking about it, winter is well on its way. Having a religious play was nothing unusual, but this one specifically was designed to familiarise with the gods. Winter had many religious holidays, but it was hard to narrow down which one was to be celebrated at this time...


    I had never really dwelled on it when living at the estate as almost all of us were Meiriem or Seeir Kins, but there were truly many gods and probably even more heritage mann received from them. This meant that gods were probably worshipped very differently.


    I looked at the man. He had white hair and red eyes. Whose kin was he? His hair was white, so perhaps he was a kin of Solomon, the white Miasma? But then again, in the play Solomon was usually bald and his eyes black. Red eyes might be more telling. Red was the color of life and her hair was always hidden by flames, so perhaps¡­? But it could also be from another minor god altogether¡­


    I started looking around the room at the kids and tried to guess where their traits came from. Many of them seemed to be of mixed origin, yet you could perhaps tell?


    Red, blue, pink, green, purple, silver¡­ Eyes of all of the colours of the rainbow and sometimes streaks of colours mixed in. Some of their hair grew even wilder with different shades and streaks. One of the boys even had dark blue streaks running all throughout his pristine silver head of head like sapphires on a silver crown.


    It all meant something. They told a story spanning millennia.


    I pondered on this idea. Light pink and blue was always Meiriem, that I knew. Silver eyes and hair was Seeir. My mom had explained that one through and through when praising my eyes¡­ Well, my old eyes. The head maid had always said that green was a malicious colour so probably Diid? Solomon had black eyes, while Fey had red ones¡­ There was a boy with dark blue eyes and crimson hair. What could that be? And what about golden hair like the girl walking toward¡­


    It was the girl from yesterday. The one who had hurt Horsie. I felt an uncomfortable chill run down my spine when I spotted and quickly started walking away. There was no way I would be playing with her again any time soon. Before I could leave the room, the girl grabbed my hand. I turned around ready to smack her in her evil face, but I froze.


    She was crying while holding my hand with both of hers. I stared at her for a moment, dumbfounded. She was awkwardly fiddling with my fingers as she spoke to me, her eyes cast downward only glancing at me with her swollen jade-coloured eyes.


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    Is she trying to apologize? Useless. The white haired man probably just scolded her and forced her to.


    I thought about slapping her hands away, but hesitated. Despite her disingenuous intentions, she was still crying, and it made me feel bad.


    She continued talking to me as I stared at her coldly. She tried to pull me along somewhere. I resisted her insistence at first, but eventually allowed myself to be pulled along, slightly curious what kind of phony show of apology she was trying to make.


    Snot hanging from her nose, she dragged me through the corridor to the same playroom as yesterday. I grimaced as she headed for the toy box.


    She awkwardly dug through the toybox, obviously struggling to find whatever it was she was looking for through the tears and snot streaming down her face. I awkwardly sat down and waited for her to be done.


    ¡°What do you think that she wants?¡±


    Darkie asked me.


    [I guess she wants to apologize..? But she¡¯s really pushing herself¡­ It¡¯s weird.]


    Eventually she took out Horsie and tried to play with it. She could only manage to make it gallop twice before he slipped through her trembling hands as she started crying even harder.


    [Now I¡¯m starting to feel like a bad girl for some reason¡­]


    She tried to calm herself. She reached out for my hand which I allowed. She held it as she looked at it intensely. She started lifting my sleeve. For a moment I considered stopping her, but there was no point. She was probably curious after whatever the whitehaired guy had told her.


    The sleeve gave way to my skin. The purple bruising, the yellow stains and the scars shone under the sunlight. I could tell from her expression that she was about to explode into tears again, but was trying her best to keep her composure. After looking at it for a moment, she carefully pulled down the sleeve and released my hand.


    [I hope you¡¯re satisfied.]


    I said out loud, hoping to sound sarcastic, as I flattened the crease on my sleeve.


    The girl stood up and started lifting her skirts. I got up in a panic.


    What is she thinking?!


    [Hey there¡¯s boys in the room! Girls shouldn¡¯t show what¡¯s under their skirts to boys!]


    I tried to reason with her, but she ignored me. After pulling up her skirt She pulled down her left sock and I saw it.


    From her thigh all the way down to her toes, tiny circular scars spotted her skin.


    I had never seen anything like it.


    The skin bulged around the spots and the center had a sickening yellow tint. It looked painful. I instinctively tried to touch it, but caught myself remembering how much my own wounds had hurt when others touched them.


    Seeing my hesitation, she simply pushed my hand against her skin without a second thought allowing me to feel the deformed skin of her leg. It was tight and taunt as if dried and pulled like a piece of leather. The heat from her leg felt uneven, and the bulges around the browned holes felt as hard as nails in some places. I couldn¡¯t imagine what had happened, but I could imagine how it had felt.


    I looked up at the tearful girl''s face again. She wiped yet another string of snot hanging from her nose.


    After wiping her eyes once again, she looked down and our eyes locked.


    In her twinkling jade eyes, I could see myself. Hurt in ways others couldn¡¯t even imagine. Beaten, scared, betrayed, and yet, somehow, still hoping for things to be better someday.


    My eyes suddenly felt very itchy. I broke eye contact with the girl, and scratched and scratched but they only itched more. As I looked at my hands I noticed tears had stained my sleeves. I looked up to the girl, but before I could say anything, she hugged me tightly.


    I tried to hold it in for a moment, but gave in.


    I cried and cried as she hugged me tightly. It hurt. My whole body was sore as I still recalled the crop striking my skin and my own mothers hands around my throat.  but I didn¡¯t want her to let go. I didn¡¯t have to feel alone. I could feel her tears wetting my shoulder as I cried in hers.


    It was a long while before the tears finally dried up. I could still feel her tears falling against my shoulder, so I brought up my arms and held the girl tightly along with Darkie.


    I looked at her golden button eyes as I felt the girl shake as she cried in my arms.


    [Do you think it¡¯s ok to forgive her this once..?]


    I asked him.


    ¡°I think it¡¯s okay to forgive friends.¡±


    I nodded and held the green-eyed girl even tighter.


    It was a lonely thing to feel this way. No one should have to go through it alone.

 16. Hare and Jade

    I was shaken awake.


    It was Jade, the ¡°golden-haired¡± girl. I gave her the nickname a while ago because of her shiny jade coloured eyes.


    At first, she tried to correct me and get me to properly say her name, but I could never get it right, so she just accepted the nickname. Every morning she came to wake me up. Apparently, Hare rang a bell every morning to wake us up, but since I never heard it, she took it upon herself to get me out of bed. Hare was the nickname I gave to the white-haired red-eyed man who was in charge of the orphanage. He also tried to correct me as Jade had done, but to no avail.


    I grumbled and tried to close my eyes again. She roughly shook me again and lifted me out of bed by the armpits.


    It was at those moments that I always seemed to notice that she was quite a bit taller than I was, making me self-conscious of my height. I swore to myself to take revenge when I got older.


    She dropped me to my feet, still in my pyjamas. I grumbled, to which she only pulled her tongue while winking. She froze her expression and looked down the hallway through the door frame. She looked back at me and signaled me to get dressed quickly.


    I swallowed another grumble and got dressed.


    I picked up Darkie and Jade took me by the hand.


    ¡°Good morning!¡±


    [Good morning, Darkie. Slept well?]


    ¡°Mhh mhh, but you woke me up again last night.¡±


    [Is that so? My bad¡­]


    We walked down the hall to the dining room where the others were already seated, waiting for us.


    I saw a couple disdainful and angry looks, which was nothing out of the unusual. The other kids didn¡¯t really seem to like me.


    As I passed one of them, they pushed out their foot and made me trip. I would have fallen on my face if it hadn¡¯t been for holding hands with Jade. I turned around ready to throw a punch in the kid¡¯s face, but Jade pulled me back. She dragged me forward and made me take a seat at the table beside her.


    Hare gave me a disapproving look before beginning the usual short meal prayer.


    I sneered quietly. It was that fat boy who was picking a fight, I was just defending myself. The orphanage had a strict no violence policy. If you were caught fighting, you were forced to stay alone in the study room until you apologized. The idea didn¡¯t bother me, but what bothered me was that he never caught the other kids being mean to me.


    I quickly wolfed down my meal and escaped the dining room. It wasn¡¯t against the rules to leave before everyone was done since it wasn¡¯t my turn to help with the dishes, but it still earned me another disapproving look from Hare.


    He reminded me of the head maid back at the estate with his ¡®holier-than-thou¡¯ attitude.


    Once I reached the playroom, I sat by the windowsill as I waited for Jade to be done with her meal. Outside, the snow had piled up quite a bit. Back in Oblon, the snow only ever went as high as my knees, but here, I could easily have gotten lost underneath... Which Was probably the reason why only the older kids were allowed outside in the snow.


    That and the cold.


    Jade finally arrived in the room and I jumped off the windowsill, ready to go play, but, to my disappointment, she pulled out a large book and pointed toward the door.


    My mouth pursed.


    It had been about a month since I had arrived at the orphanage and it seems that Hare had taken upon himself to make me learn how to read.


    I followed Jade up the stairs to the classroom of the orphanage. There were no dedicated class times, but Hare would bring in groups of kids into the room at intervals so he could teach them. Since I was a particularly difficult case, he always made me come alone or with Jade so he could focus on teaching me.


    It was¡­ Difficult.


    I had never learned to read back on the estate since my formal education was only supposed to start once I turned 6. I roughly know my alphabet, but as it turns out, it wasn¡¯t the same alphabet that was being taught to me here.


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    When I tried pointing that out to Hare by comparing one of the books in the library that had the alphabet I had been used to seeing in the books my sister had read to me, he simply drew a crown on the chalkboard.


    From what I gathered, there were two alphabets, one for the nobles and one for the commoners. The noble alphabet looked much longer. A single word could take half a line. While this commoner alphabet often only took a handful of letters.


    Through trial and error and some helpful drawings from Jade, I eventually understood that each letter represented a syllable of a word, but not being able to hear that syllable made it extremely difficult to read, let alone memorize. There were so many bars, dots and hooks added to the characters, it was difficult to remember what each did.


    After a long study session I felt exhausted. I wasn¡¯t sure what I was learning, but it sure was draining!


    As I slouched on the chair, Hare took out a candy from his pocket and handed it to me with a smile.


    I excitedly took it from and started munching away.


    [Maybe learning isn¡¯t so bad after all!]


    I told Darkie as Jade and Hare discussed something by the chalkboard.


    Jade came back toward me and signalled me to follow her. We went down the stairs but as I headed for the playroom, she pulled me back and shook her head.


    Instead, we headed for the storage room in the basement. Inside, she started looking through the boxes and eventually found what she was looking for. She put the box on the floor. It was filled with white dresses. Baptism dresses.


    Something finally clicked in my mind.


    [So that¡¯s why we had the play the other week!]


    She didn¡¯t understand what I said but still smiled at my excited expression.


    Baptism was when a child chose their patron deity and received their insignia. Of course, some people could get baptised throughout their life, but it was considered a rite of passage for all children. It was usually a big event with lots of food and sweets and your entire family came to church to¡­.


    As I thought about my family, my smile broke.


    My parents had always told me how important it was to dedicate myself to Meiriem. That no matter what I had to ask for her blessing¡­ But now, they weren¡¯t here and I sure didn¡¯t want to give them that satisfaction, even if they never came to learn of it.


    The question became, from whom should I ask a blessing from? I could always ask from Seeir, but wouldn¡¯t that also be within those people¡¯s expectation? When they hadn¡¯t been praising Meiriem¡¯s glory, Seeir was at the tip of their tongue.


    Jade didn¡¯t seem to notice my perplexed expression and instead checked the dress''s sizes.


    They all had different shapes and designs. The only real rule for a baptism dress was that it had to be white. Even boys wore a white dress on that day¡­


    It should have been an exciting prospect to get dressed in a pretty white dress, but somehow my mind was filled with thoughts of my mother.


    As Jade excitedly showed me different frilly skirts and sleeve design, the shadow of the basement took strange shapes.


    I could feel her again, leaning on the wall far in the back. I could feel her icy blue eyes pierce dagger into my skull.


    The blood  in my vein froze and a ball grew in my throat.


    The walls changed colours. I was back. It had been months now, but I was back again in that room. The plain dimly lit walls, the stained marble floor and the light filtering from underneath the door.


    I fell to my knees. I thought I had finally escaped this place, but had it all been a dream? An illusion?


    [She¡¯s coming for me...]


    I looked around for an escape, but there weren¡¯t any. There had never been any.


    The door flew open and the silhouette of my mother appeared like a shadow. It started walking toward me.


    [No¡­ ]


    I got back to my feet and tried to back away, but her shadow didn¡¯t stop. She was reaching toward me with her long bony fingers.


    [Please stop! Leave me alone!]


    I screamed as I backed away, but soon enough I had my back against the wall. She stopped and observed me from a distance as I cried and begged. I could see her heinous grin as she sprinted toward me. Reaching for my throat.


    [NOO!]


    I closed my eyes and collapsed into a ball on the floor waiting for her claws to wrap around my neck¡­


    But instead, something warm enveloped me.


    I cautiously opened my eyes.


    Goldie was there. She was staring at me with her tender golden eyes smiling through the tears she always tried to hide from me.


    I hugged her as tightly as my arms allowed me and buried my head into her chest.


    When I opened my eyes again, Goldie was gone and instead of her, Jade was hugging me tightly. Squeezed between us was Darkie, still in her hand.


    We were back in the basement. The marble floor was gone and uneven bricks had replaced them. The walls were  back to wooden planks.


    I slowly broke the embrace and looked around for a bit, worried that my mother would be back, but she was gone.


    I looked at Jade. She looked worried, but she didn¡¯t say anything¡­ Not that I would have understood anyway. She gave me back Darkie and helped me back to my feet.


    Holding my hand, she went back to the box, took one more look at the dresses and picked one at the top of the pile.


    She looked at me once more and smiled. It was a sad smile. The same Goldie had given me often in the past.


    She turned around and without another word, we left the basement hand-in-hand.

 17. Baptism

    Back in the dormitory, Jade helped me put on the baptism dress she had picked out. The other kids my age were also getting prepared, seemingly having already picked out a dress before me.


    The boys were mostly wearing plain robes and seemed to be uncomfortable and were avoiding eye contact. It didn¡¯t seem to really seem to put them in a particularly bad mood, they just looked embarrassed. If I could speak, I would have teased the boy who tripped me earlier as revenge¡­ If I could speak.


    Meanwhile, the girls were putting on their cute white dresses and were excitedly walking around and speaking to each other. Some had even added handmade white flowers to decorate the skirts and sleeves.


    Hare was going around the room making sure everyone was properly dressed.


    As usual some of them gave me dirty looks, probably annoyed that I was, yet again, the last one getting ready.


    The dress Jade had picked out for me was quite nice. The skirt had slits going up to my knee on each side which were tied with bows at each end. The neck was in a v-shape tied by a string while the sleeves were narrow around the upper arm, but opened up like a flower at the elbow, giving me a surprising amount of motion for a dress. I felt bad not having contributed to picking it now, but it had turned out well in the end.


    I wonder if Hare will allow me to keep it after the baptism? I wouldn¡¯t mind wearing it everyday with how comfortable it was. Maybe it was a second hand from a noble?


    Yeah I probably would have worn something like that if I was still with my¡­


    I shook my head. No more thinking about them. Today is about me.


    ¡°You¡¯re looking good Silika!¡±


    [Thanks, Darkie! I didn¡¯t expect there to be so many cute dresses here!]


    ¡°Maybe it¡¯s more thanks to Jade having such a good eye for clothes!¡±


    I looked at Jade and smiled. I couldn¡¯t put it into words, but I hope she understood my appreciation.


    Once we were done Hare stood in the center of the room and announced something loudly. The now familiar feeling of dozens of feet running shook the ground as the rest of the children flooded the room.


    Hare explained something to everyone as Jade encouraged me to walk forward to join the other children in their baptism robes in the center of the room. I stood at the side of the crowd hoping to not attract attention, but just as he was finishing speaking to everyone; hare looked at me.


    Or more precisely at Darkie sitting in my arms. He was about to say something, but he looked toward Jade who quickly strutted to his side and whispered something in his ear. He nodded along and looked back at the crowd of kids and simply continued his speech.


    Everyone looked excited and nervous.


    I was still deep in thought. Although the fear of my parents had subsided, what had caused me to remember them was still weighing on my mind. Whose blessing should I ask for?


    Hare finally finished his speech and we started leaving the room. Jade hurried to my side and grabbed my hand as we walked down the hallway toward the entrance threshold


    It was the first time I was going outside since my arrival over a month ago. The wind blew through the hallway as the door opened. The light blinded me for a second as I adjusted to the brightness.


    As we walked forward I witnessed the snow covered streets and felt the cold slip through my skirt. It was incredible, in some places the snow was piled up higher than people¡¯s door, but another gust of wind stung my cheek.


    [So that¡¯s why Hare doesn¡¯t let us go play outside... I hope the church isn¡¯t too far.]


    I told myself as I held Darkie to keep warm. Jade wrapped her arm around me, providing a bit of warmth.


    Luckily, as it turned out, the church was only two street corners away.


    It was immense. Bigger even than the Orthodox Meiriem Cathedral in Oblon. It struck me right away that it was a Septenary church. More commonly known as the church of the seven. It was easily identifiable by the seven large sculptures representing the seven major gods at its front and the countless alcoves representing other minor gods who could also be worshipped here.


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    Before we entered, Hare took me aside. He gave me a piece of paper with a few written words.


    I tried to read the script but it looked like scribbles to me.


    I could only read my own name:


    ???


    He made some hand movements to tell me to give the paper and pointed at a non-existent hat. He probably meant to give it to the Archkinsmann once I¡¯m up to him.


    Jade gave me a big hug before we separated. Us children here for our baptism went in first to join hundreds of others already standing at the center of the cathedral. Some of the other orphans tried to mingle or go toward the front, but I stayed at the back.


    From here, I could still see Jade and the other orphans sitting on the pew benches along the walls. I looked around until I found Jade seated beside Hare. I nervously waved at her. She smiled and waved back, but then pointed toward the front to tell me to pay attention.


    It was a bit of a lost cause considering I couldn¡¯t hear anything the priests might be saying up front, but the look Hare was giving me inches above Jade¡¯s head was enough to tell me that I should comply. Last thing I wanted was to be scolded on the way back to the orphanage.


    There were quite a few people at the front with an old bearded man at the center, speaking to the children. They looked like Archkinsmanns of different churches. I had never seen most of these kinsmanns before but I did recognise one with the usual blue robes and pink headdress hiding his face, the usual attire of Meiriem devotees. I also recognised the silver trimmed robes of Seeir.


    The old man at the front wore a plain white robe with a large and complex insignia bearing many symbols. I guessed he must have been the Bishop of the Septenary church.


    He spoke for a while. Eventually, the children started lining up in front of different Archkinsmanns. It must have been the time to pick¡­


    Annoyingly, I didn¡¯t really know who was who. Some of the insignia I recognised like Fey, Meiriem and Seeir, but the other ones were a mystery to me. Maybe I should have paid more attention during the play... Speaking of, the woman with the Fey insignia looked very similar to Hare with her short white hair and scarlet eyes.


    I looked around for a while at the different priest, but before I even realised, I was the last one standing in the center.


    I panicked, holding on tightly to Darkie.


    [Who should I pick? Who should I pick?!]


    I asked, looking deeply into his golden button eyes.


    He remained silent, probably at a loss as well. I looked up again, my eyes darting from one person to the other.


    Meiriem was out of the question. Seeir as well. Maybe Fey...?


    But then, my eyes settled on someone. Someone with dark hair and golden eyes.


    I looked down at Darkie again for a moment. Remembering Goldie¡¯s kind smile and sad eyes.


    I took a deep breath and started walking.


    In front of the kinsmann, not a single child stood. He wore a dark robe with beautiful golden flowers trimmed on its sleeve and hem. He wore no headdress on his short black hair. On his face there was no smile. Only a cynic neutral expression, the type one would wear when bored at a ball.


    He did not react when I stood in front of him. Actually, he didn¡¯t even notice me. His eyes were glazing over the crowd and the other kinsmanns. I waited patiently for a while, but after a minute of just waiting and staring at him, I tried to get his attention. I grabbed the skirt of his robe and lightly pulled on it.


    It took a few tries but eventually looked down at me. He took a quick glance down at me and lightly mumbled something as he pointed in the direction of the Meiriem kinsmann.


    I shook my head, but he was already looking away. I yanked on his robe harder to try and get his attention.


    He looked down at me properly this time. He was about to repeat himself, but his eyes froze on Darkie in my hands. He then looked straight into my eyes. Unblinking. His face showed no emotions.


    He bent his knee slightly and extended his hand toward Darkie.


    I was afraid for a moment. What is he going to do with her? The Meiriem archkinsmann would have shred her to pieces¡­. But this kinsmann looked like Darkie and Goldie. Maybe I could trust him?


    by Apririnn


    I allowed him to take Darkie. He held it with both his hands and looked closely at the plush. A strange smirk appeared on his face, but disappeared just as quickly. He gave him back to me and asked me a question that I couldn¡¯t hear.


    I suddenly remembered the piece of paper Hare had given me. Instead of an answer, I handed the message with my name on to the black-haired kinsman who quickly read over it. He nodded and dug something out of his pocket.


    He opened his mouth and signalled me to do the same. I opened up and he delicately put a leaf-like thing on my tongue. He grabbed my hands and then made the motion to close my mouth.


    As soon as I closed my lips, I felt a cold feeling emanating from the leaf thing. I reflexively blinked when I felt something pop on my tongue.


    When I reopened my eyes darkness had enveloped the world. Only faraway lights could be seen, shining in different colours. Like a rainbow coloured night sky.


    ¡°Well well, it¡¯s not everyday I receive the visit of a pretty rose!¡±


    I heard a feminine and languorous voice say.


    Wait...


    I heard..?


    <div>


    <div>


    <div>

 18. The goddess

    The voice echoed in my head.


    It isn¡¯t my imagination is it?


    ¡°Are you alright, young kin?¡±


    The voice asked inquisitively.


    I turned around to face the voice.


    It was a woman. She was tall, taller than anyone I had ever met before. She had long black hair tied behind her back and her skin was so white it was almost blue. I looked up at her face. In the middle of her face were two golden eyes with cross shaped dark irises, and her sclera were black instead of white.


    Her eyes felt as if they were piercing me. Digging through my very soul. My mind told me I should be afraid, but something in my heart felt compelled by this woman. I couldn¡¯t look away.


    ¡°Well well, isn¡¯t that cute.¡±


    She said flatly, breaking eye contact. I calmed myself and looked at where she was starring, it was Darkie, still tucked between in my arms.


    ¡°It¡¯s not ¡®That¡¯. His name is Darkie¡±


    I retorted.


    A smile split her purple lips.


    ¡°I don¡¯t see what¡¯s so funny... And what is this place? Who are you?¡±


    I said angrily. I didn¡¯t like feeling mocked.


    To my annoyance, my outburst made her chuckle.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, young kin. I was simply surprised. It¡¯s unusual to see someone come here with such a thing; even more so when coming to me.¡±


    She looked me up and down


    ¡°It has been quite a while since I''ve had such a young rose visit me too.¡±


    She composed herself, the smile now only a fleeting impression on her lips.


    ¡°I am Scorn. I am Hate. This is the evergreen immaterium. A better question would be what brings YOU here, young rose? The smell of Meiriem permeates you...¡±


    I looked at her, confused.


    Hate? She is Hate? But how..? Goldie wasn¡¯t¡­ And Darkie¡­ I¡­ I don¡¯t want to hate them! They¡¯re good!


    This is wrong. This is wrong! Something isn¡¯t right. There¡¯s a mistake somewhere. Maybe I¡¯m imagining this? I can¡¯t hear so this must be an illusion! Maybe I¡¯m dreaming! Yes this must be all a dream.


    As I looked around in confusion, I felt her long fingers grab my chin and tilt my head upward. Her eyes locked with mine once more.


    ¡°Ah. I see.¡±


    She said flatly.


    I moved my chin away.


    ¡°You have experienced it. You know what hate is.¡±


    She said without an ounce of doubt in her voice...


    ...But it was all in my head.


    I can¡¯t hear so what she¡¯s saying is not true. I don¡¯t want to hate people! I¡­ I just don¡¯t want to be hurt.


    ¡°Yes. This must be very confusing to you.¡±


    Ignore it. Ignore it.


    She¡¯s not actually saying anything. It¡¯s in your head, just like when Darkie talks.


    ¡°This is the immaterium. Physical pain and illnesses have no effect here. Only things that are bound to your soul appear here.¡±


    She tilted her head.


    ¡°It seems you have yet to accept deafness as part of you. Yet, somehow, this Darkie, as you call it, has been bound. It is curious how a young kin¡¯s mind work.¡±


    I looked up at her, panicked.


    ¡°Death Ness? What¡¯s that?! Am I dying?!¡±


    She chuckled in earnest.


    ¡°No, of course not. Deaf is simply the word used to describe your handicap. For those who cannot hear. It is not truly an illness¡­ Moreso, the consequence of one. Poor child, you were truly kept in the dark weren¡¯t you?¡±


    Some things clicked in my mind. Handicap. Yes, that word I had heard before at church. So that¡¯s what it meant¡­ But¡­ Wasn¡¯t that something bad people had? Divine.. Uh.. Distribution..?


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    ¡°Is that why the bishop hit me?¡±


    Her smile broke.


    ¡°Young kin. Please look into my eyes.¡±


    ¡°I don¡­¡±


    ¡°I said look!¡±


    Her voice shook something in me. My mind lost control over my body and my head turned on its own. My eyes locked once more. The cross shaped irises stared deep into my eyes as if digging right into my soul. I felt cold sweat run down my back and my eyes stung as they were forced to stay open, unblinking.


    Finally, she closed her eyes and I regained control over my body. She remained that way for a moment and took a deep breath before opening her eyes again and smiling at me vaguely.


    ¡°I am sorry young kin, I didn¡¯t mean to scare you. It seems there are things I did not know that occurred in the world.¡±


    She reached her hands out to me.


    ¡°Regardless. Are you now ready for your baptism, young kin?¡±


    I didn¡¯t quite understand what was going on, but I sure wasn¡¯t ready for any baptism!


    ¡°I...I¡¯m sorry, but I don¡¯t think I belong here. I don¡¯t want to hate people.¡±


    Her eyes looked sad for a moment.


    ¡°Yes, a common misunderstanding.¡±


    Scorn gracefully sat down on an immaterial chair while one sprouted underneath me. This brought our eye level closer and I could finally tell the delicate traits of her face. When I had imagined Scorn, I had always expected a face contorted by anger, but instead her face felt soothing.


    ¡°Let''s talk a bit. What does hate mean to you?¡±


    ¡°It means¡­ It means hating things. Hating what the gods created. Hating people.¡±


    I said hesitantly. It felt like such a simple word that it was difficult describing it without using the word itself.


    ¡°Well, what if I told you that, sometimes, that was necessary?¡±


    Necessary to hate people?


    ¡°I don¡¯t understand.¡±


    She smiled knowingly and gently grasped my hand.


    ¡°I don¡¯t blame you. Hate is a word, but it is not the full meaning. What I represent and bring to the world, is not the ability to despise others. That is simply an emotion. What I bring, is the ability to separate, to split things apart. As you¡¯ve probably learned at church in the past: before I came to be, everything was always together¡­¡±


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that a good thing?¡±


    I interrupted her, confused.


    ¡°Well, it should have been... but not in practice. When life is forced to be together; it hurts itself, it suffers and then hurts those close to it. Those we hurt the most, are those we are closest to.¡±


    I felt a sting. Not in my head or my heart. In my soul.


    ¡°Love is the indiscriminate appreciation for life, for creation, but what about loving something too much? Becoming obsessed and obstinate; hurting the other things you love in the process. That¡¯s when hate comes in. Hate pushes this love away and breaks the shackles of obsession. It allows one to liberate themselves. Hate is what allows one to fight back, to point out injustice and fight those who seek to exploit it. Hate is just as important as love. Because when love is twisted and misplaced...¡±


    She delicately lifted my sleeve, revealing the countless scars, stains and bruises on my arm.


    ¡°...It becomes part of you. Young rose, love should never hurt so much."


    Was it true? Did love do this? I¡­ I thought love was something good..? Something to be celebrated, but did love really do this to me?


    I felt my eyes itch. I didn¡¯t know what to think. Will love always end like this? I looked down at Darkie.


    Will he also eventually hurt me? Will Jade hurt me again? Will Goldie¡­


    A palm rested on my head. It¡¯s warmth spread through my body, releasing the pent up worries and turning them into tears. I looked as my tears slowly landed on Darkie. His big golden eyes troubling my mind. I¡­ I don¡¯t know.


    ¡°Young kin. I said that hate is just as important as love, but the opposite is true. Hate needs love just as much as love needs hate.¡±


    I felt scared.


    ¡°But¡­ Won¡¯t I be hurt again?¡±


    I asked as I lifted my head to meet Scorn¡¯s eyes.


    She smiled sadly.


    ¡°It is likely. That is the nature of existence. A mysterious cycle of love and hate, life and death, chaos and order. No one can stop this cycle, you can only learn from it.¡±


    ¡°So¡­ It¡¯s okay if I love Darkie?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Jade?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°Hare?¡±


    ¡°Yes.¡±


    ¡°...Goldie?¡±


    She smiled.


    ¡°Of course.¡±


    I dried my tears. There were a lot of things I was still unsure about, but there was one thing I was certain¡­


    ¡°I think I¡¯m ready for my baptism now.¡±


    Scorn nodded and the chairs slowly dissolved underneath us. We stood in front of each other and I grabbed her extended hands.


    ¡°Please repeat after me.¡±


    I nodded.


    She closed her eyes and began reciting.


    ¡°I will not be trampled.¡±


    ¡°... not be trampled.¡±


    ¡°I will not trust those who seek to deceive me.¡±


    ¡°... not trust those who seek to deceive me.¡±


    ¡°I will not be abused.¡±


    ¡°... not be abused.¡±


    ¡°I will push back.¡±


    ¡°...l push back.¡±


    ¡°I will expose those who deceive¡±


    ¡°... expose those who deceive¡±


    ¡°... fight those who abuse.¡±


    ¡°I will fight those who abuse.¡±


    ¡°I will hate for hate will drive me forward.¡±


    ¡°...And I will hate for hate will drive me forward.¡±


    She opened her eyes and looked at me.


    ¡°Young kin, what is your name?¡±


    ¡°Silika.¡±


    ¡°Silika, you are now a kin of Scorn. Hate will become your weapon and as such, I grant you my blessing.¡±


    Scorn chuckled to herself.


    ¡°Although it looks like someone already granted that for me¡­¡±


    I was about to question her cryptic words, but she interrupted me.


    ¡°Now go, Silika. Spread the meaning of hatred¡­ And take good care of yourself.¡±


    The darkness around us started to dissipate.


    ¡°Will I ever see you again?¡±


    I asked hurriedly.


    She again gave me a fleeting smile.


    ¡°Who knows? Maybe our paths will cross again someday.¡±


    I nodded sadly as the darkness disappeared.

 19. Scorn

    As the girl¡¯s shape dissipated. I stood there for a moment, admiring the vestige of the immaterium that used to be home to us all.


    I chuckled to myself. It was no loss. The collapse of the immaterium was the only gift the creator had ever truly made.


    I closed my eyes for a moment. When I reopened them, I was back to sitting on the rosewood chair in my office. I took a deep breath and relaxed my body, letting my head slowly tilt back. Baptisms were an exhausting season for us gods, but luckily, few were those who professed to me, the goddess of hate.


    Staring at my own effigy on the painted ceiling. I thought about how strange it was to expect me to enjoy staring at my own image all day long, but there was no reason to insult my host by pointing this out.


    My thoughts shifted to the young kin, Silika. Her predicament was perplexing. Of course her life had been quite tragic so far, I could tell that much when I peeked into her memory.


    What was more troubling was the Meiriem¡¯s church involvement in the affair.


    There was a time when us gods had laid the law and administered it through our churches, but these days are past on most of the continents. Only Seeir had still not given up her power¡­ And despite not holding power, Steihnner the God of War¡¯s  church in the Heillhs Empire still practiced his divine decree to this day¡­


    These days, our main focus is on the only thing our divinity still provides: blessings. Blessings were a tool to kins. A tool that could be abused. It allowed them to achieve incredible feats, although most didn¡¯t realise the potential.


    I looked at my hand, still clasping the armrest.


    Blessings were powerful. They could corrupt mann and turn them into monsters. The church was a necessary evil to keep this unwarranted evil at bay.


    Ferals, or witches as they had taken to call them in this age, were real¡­ But they were uncommon, and constantly at the verge of extinction after the Curse of the Purple Veil making their offspring infertile. A cruel, but necessary punishment.


    There was no long-term reason to be afraid of a feral, but manns lived in the present. The threat of marauding feral abominations still existed¡­ But Salland was an inner duchy. The kinsmanns of the ¡®Orthodox Meiriem Church¡¯ had probably never encountered any, and probably did not know the first thing about dealing with them. Excommunication being probably the worst possible way.


    Those stupid stupid children¡­.


    I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself.


    Thinking our words had any meaning anymore¡­ Those stupid useless dogma we invented. Lip service, a charade! Anyone with half a brain knows that it¡¯s just a way to keep them fro¡­!


    I heard a snapping sound. I opened my eyes, my hand was no more, instead an iron claw replaced it, still clasping the remains of the armrest. I threw it against the wall in a fit of anger.


    At that very moment, I heard a knock at the door.


    I took a deep breath and composed myself.


    ¡°Come in.¡±


    I said, repressing the anger in my voice.


    A trap opened at the top of the door and a disembodied helmeted head flew in.


    A pureblood Solomonkin.


    Not a very rare specimen on this continent where their ability to displace their limbs independently from the rest of their body made them prized messengers, scouts¡­ and spies.


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    Death had an interesting design for his kins. Not only could their limbs act independently, but they also shared a common digestive system which would redistribute the food equally to the entirety of their kind¡­ An interesting concept for sure, but the implications were too philosophical for my taste. The starving kings of olden days being the primary culprit for my stand on the matter.


    ¡°Iron Maiden, his majesty would like to know if you will be joining him for dinner?¡±


    I looked out of the window. The sun was setting, but that meant that it was still only early afternoon in Firsland and most of the western continent.


    ¡°You will have to convey my most sincere apologies to your master, I cannot accept his invitation until the sun has set on Firsland.¡±


    The head bowed respectfully, catching a glimpse of the broken armrest.


    ¡°Shall I have a new chair brough, Iron Maiden?¡±


    I nodded and the head silently flew away through the same trap door it had arrived from.


    I waited for a moment before speaking.


    ¡°Eyzo, show yourself.¡±


    A swallow which had been sitting perched on a tree just outside of my window delicately swooped in. As it reached the front of my desk it turned into a man. His skin was blueish white, his hair black as midnight and his eyes golden with crosses going through them. If I had preferred the male form, I would probably have looked similar to this man, but that was not surprising. Not all of us were as ingeniously original as Solomon. Instead we created kins in our image.


    He was but one of a dozen of my original kins from untold millennia ago who had followed me all this time, acting as my most trusted servants.


    ¡°At your service, Iron Maiden.¡±


    ¡°Sock the false reverence, Eyzo. I¡¯m bored with it.¡±


    I said in an irritated tone. A title of war should only ever be used for exactly that, war. Yet the kins took these titles as such prized possession that they believed we would do the same.


    In other words, I am patient with ignorance, but not otherwise.


    ¡°As you wish Lady Scorn. What is it that bothers you?¡±


    I stood up and headed to the large bookshelf on the opposite wall.


    ¡°How long has it been since you¡¯ve last  been to Firsland?¡±


    Eyzo scratched his chin.


    ¡°Seven decades or so. Maybe eight? Is there something that you would like to know?¡±


    I nodded.


    ¡°The Everest family. Of Oblon. What do you know of them?¡±


    ¡°Ah, the marquessial family. The family was quite renowned in the capital for his role in defending the south-western coast of Salland against the Flatfoots. Truly, warriors with few equals and true protectors of Order. They wore their heritage with pride.¡±


    So the Everest family used to be followers of Seeir? Interesting.


    ¡°What about Meiriem?¡±


    ¡°What about them?¡±


    ¡°Did the family worship the gods of love?¡±


    Eyzo seemed to think for a moment before answering.


    ¡°I have never spoken to a member of the family directly, but that would be surprising. The Meiriem church presence in the region was quite ordinary.¡±


    ¡°Not anymore¡­¡±


    I mumbled to myself.


    I recalled the girl¡¯s memory. That day at the Meiriem cathedral. I thredge though her ingrained memory, rewinding it.


    Being dragged into the carriage. Thrown on the pavement at the front step. Being hauled through a long corridor. A painful slap from a ringed kin. An impressive Meiriem statue. Heavy wooden door opening. A screeching sound. A gard¡­


    A screeching sound?


    ¡°A crow¡±


    I said out loud.


    ¡°Mmhh?¡±


    Eyzo responded half-mindedly.


    ¡°Which one of you has the habit of taking the appearance of a crow?¡±


    His face lit up.


    ¡°Ah yes! That would be Orr! Last I heard she had indeed been drifting about the western region of the continent¡±


    Then she is the one who has the answers I need. I sat back on my desk and started writing a letter hastily.


    ¡°Deliver this to Orr, have her come and report to me.¡±


    I said as I handed him a summon letter.


    ¡°Shall I have her come here?¡±


    I thought for a second.


    ¡°No you will not. I will depart for the old continent tomorrow. Have her meet me at the Moreti Kingdom capital of Mai¡¯Ville.¡±


    ¡°As you wish, Iron Maiden.¡±


    I grit my teeth as he transformed once more and flew away through the window.


    Moreti was the midway point between Firsland and the Solom Kingdom, a perfect meeting point, but there was another reason I wanted to go there. For the last two centuries, it had been the primary residence of my counterparts.


    The gods of love, Meiriem.

 20. Celebration

    I was sitting in the praying room fiddling with my newly acquired Scorn insignia.


    It looked beautiful.


    A raven holding a sharp-pointed diagonal cross. The same shape as Scorn¡¯s Irises. Its wings folded over the cross and its beak nestled in the upper notch.


    At the front of the room, the Scorn archkinsmann was discussing something with Hare. I had -accidentally- caused a bit of a scene after my baptism ended and so my guardian had to come intervene¡­ Which seemed to have been a good idea either way.


    As it turns out, after the baptism, children had to follow their archkinsmann to a prayer room to receive their insignia, a holy text and some guidance. As I couldn¡¯t read or listen, it would have been a bit of a problem without Hare with me.


    Looking around the room, it was blatantly obvious that I was the only child the archkinsmann had helped through the baptism today.


    [Scorn isn¡¯t very popular is she?]


    I asked Darkie.


    ¡°I guess we weren¡¯t the only ones who thought she was bad¡­¡±


    [Yeah, but it is a bit confusing. Hating people is a good thing? She was convincing, but it¡¯s still weird¡­]


    While Darkie and I spoke, Hare and the archkinsmann finished their discussion and walked toward us.


    Hare sat beside me while the archkinsmann showed me something in the palm of his hand. It looked like a small silver cube.


    He held his insignia in his other hand and closed his eyes for a moment. Suddenly the cube shook and it transformed into a ring. He opened his eyes and showed me the ring. After a moment it turned back into a cube. He focused on it once more and it changed shape again, this time into a small bird.


    It¡¯s a blessing! A blessing! It¡¯s my first time seeing one! Ela always said it wasn¡¯t a game so she would never show me hers, but this was definitely the real deal!


    The bird turned back into a cube. He looked at me. Hare showed me to open my hand and so I did.


    He dropped the cube on my hand. Just as it made contact with my palm, it let out a small shock.


    I instinctively dropped it, yelping in surprise and pain.


    The golden-eyed man shook his head. He held his insignia while he picked up the cube and made it turn into a stick.


    He extended his hand to place the cube in mine again, but I felt reluctant. I looked up at Hare for guidance, but he simply insisted that I follow along with the man.


    Against my better judgement, I opened my palm once more and the man placed the cube at its center.


    It stung again. It was very uncomfortable to hold, almost like holding a ball of needles. It hurt quite a bit too. I tried to make it change by thinking of something that felt more pleasant, but it didn¡¯t work and I was growing scared of this weird cube.


    The archkinsmann shook his head again and held his insignia in his hand insistently.


    I have to hold... The insignia? I tried holding it in my hand as I imagined it taking a different shape, but nothing more happened. I closed my eyes as I tried to focus, but still nothing.


    Maybe I have to pray?


    Scorn did teach me a prayer.


    [I will not be trampled. I will not trust those who seek to deceive me. I will not be abused. I will push back. I will expose those who deceive. I will fight those who abuse. I will hate for hate will drive me forward.]


    I recited with my eyes closed. I opened my eyes but nothing had changed. I tried reciting the prayer over and over again, but nothing changed and the stinging continued.


    I was growing irritated.


    [Change you stupid thing!]


    I said as I glared at the cube and suddenly, the cube changed into a flower and the stinging stopped.


    It worked! The prayer worked!


    ...Was it really? It didn¡¯t work the first few times¡­ Maybe it¡¯s because I got annoyed at it...? No¡­It was hate... I hated that cube at that moment, I wanted it gone and so it changed.


    The flower turned back into a cube. The archkinsmann smiled and nodded approvingly.


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    Before it could shock me again, he picked it up from my palm and put it inside a small pouch which he handed to me.


    A gift? Maybe it was to practice my blessing.


    He said a few words to Hare before turning back to me. He handed me a small book he dug out from his pocket.


    The cover had the Scorn insignia engraved and the words:


    S?rn ?m?nd?nts


    It must be the Scorn holy book.


    Hare stood up and I followed suit. It was difficult to hold unto all the things he had given me along with Darkie. Hare tried to help by taking the pouch from me, but I pulled away. I wanted to show Jade later.


    We made our way back to the main hall where the children were all slowly flocking back to. There were no more lines, only excited children and their parents all admiring their new insignias and other trinkets.


    Meanwhile the orphans were standing in a corner. The older kids  were trying to look excited about the newly baptised, but it was obvious they were bored of waiting. When they spotted Hare and I, their eyes lit up. The younger children ran right up to Hare, showing him their insignia, holy books and newly acquired goodies.


    I was pushed away from Hare by the excited kids, so I started looking around for Jade, but someone else stood in front of me. It was the boy again.


    The same fat purple-haired boy that tripped me at breakfast. It wasn¡¯t our first encounter. Since the first week I arrived, he was constantly trying to pick fights with me.


    He looked down at the insignia around my neck. An ugly smile appeared on his face as he spouted something. He tried to grab it, but he was interrupted.


    Jade  had grabbed the boy''s hand and pushed it away. She put herself between him and I, and stared him down. It was at these moments that I remembered that she was much taller than I was, even towering over the boy.


    He tried to glare back at her, but eventually turned tail.


    Jade finally turned around and gave me a huge hug and looked at me excitedly. She held my insignia in her hands observing it. I could tell she was very curious about it¡­ and a bit worried.


    We waited until the last few stragglers came back from their baptism and we all made our way back to the orphanage.


    To my surprise, some adults were already there, cooking food and decorating the orphanage. Baptism was a huge time of celebration, even to households without children.


    It was customary to hold a celebration, but I didn¡¯t expect this would happen here too!


    I ran into the main room and noticed a huge pile of gifts! This was the real deal! I had no idea they would also celebrate it here! I looked back excitedly and saw Jade beaming at me, as if this was part of her plan all along.


    Well I guess she did keep it a secret... Although that was no miracle in my case.


    I felt my stomach grumble lightly. I suddenly remembered that with all the day¡¯s events we didn¡¯t have time to catch lunch. I noticed some kids were already walking around with plates filled with festive foods. I was surprised since we were never allowed to eat food outside of the dining room.


    Jade followed my gaze and understood right away. She gave me a thumbs up and pointed at the windowsill we usually sat on, telling me to wait there while she went to grab food.


    I nodded enthusiastically. She left the room and I headed for the windowsill. I put the things on top and hoisted myself. Once on top I put Darkie on my laps and glanced at the snowflakes lazily falling from the sky just outside the window. I considered taking out the cube and trying to play with it again, but when I remembered the shocks, I opted against it.


    Instead I opened the book the Scorn archkinsmann had given me. The first page looked very beautiful. The script was perfectly centered and generously spaced. It reminded me of how poetry books were written.


    I couldn¡¯t read it, but I tried to recite the prayer Scorn had taught me and to my delight the numbers of lines matched!


    [Hey Darkie! I think I can read this!]


    ¡°Really?!¡±


    [Yeah! Let¡¯s see, this must be¡­]


    Just as I was about to start. I noticed a shadow in front of me. I looked up expecting to see Jade, but to my disappointment it was the boy from earlier.


    Before I could say anything, he snatched the book from my hand.  I tried to take it back, but he held me back with his free hand.


    He started mockingly reading the book out loud. After he was done, he looked at me and laughed out loud. When I gave no reaction, his expression changed to anger and he pushed me, my head hitting the window hard.


    He then took the pouch with the cube inside away. I tried to stop him, but I was too preoccupied with rubbing the sore spot on the back of my head.


    He looked at it curiously for a moment, before opening it and dropping the content into his palm. He looked at the cube for a second, before the inevitable shock hit him.


    He yelped and dropped the cube and pouch on the floor.


    Ah! That will teach him!


    I dropped from the windowsill and picked up the cube and pouch from the ground, being careful to do it fast enough so I didn¡¯t get shocked.


    I looked up and noticed him sucking on his fingers with tears in his eyes.


    I snort loudly in reaction.


    His face immediately turned red with anger and he punched me on the shoulder.


    It was a weak punch, I could barely feel it and it made me explode into a fit laughter.


    What a wimp!


    He looked so tough a minute ago when he was pushing me around, but now he looked like my little brother Dalton when he lost at a game.


    I continued laughing until suddenly he tackled me.


    I landed roughly on the ground.


    [Oh now you¡¯ve earned it!]


    I said angrily.


    Jade and Hare usually always pulled me back, but they weren¡¯t here right now.


    Time for him to get a taste of the ¡®Silika¡¯s Best¡¯ in the teeth!


    I kneed him in his fat belly and slammed my palm against his chubby cheek.


    He grabbed my arm in retaliation and landed his fist on top of my head.


    Stars appeared in my vision, but I wasn¡¯t done with him. I headbutt him right on the forehead. More stars appeared in my visions, but nothing I couldn¡¯t shrug off.


    The impact had made him sit up holding his forehead in pain.


    I crawled to my feet and as I was about to give him another smack in the face, Hare caught me by the arm.


    I looked up at his face.


    I immediately understood that I was in trouble¡­


    ...A LOT of trouble...

 21. One step at a time

    And here we are¡­ The dumb purple hair boy and I. Sitting in the classroom while the others were celebrating downstairs.


    What a G R E A T baptism day!


    That idiot ruined it!


    I felt my stomach rumble uncomfortably and I put Darkie on my belly to calm the discomfort.


    I didn¡¯t even get to eat any of the delicious food! AAAARRRGGH! THAT DUMB DUMB DUMB FAT PURPLE BOY! I HATE HIM!


    I banged my desk with my fist and glared in his direction. His face still swollen, he looked equally irritated to be here, but it was his fault!


    Hare had one big rule: no fighting.


    Fighting meant detention. He meant well, but now it felt like such an unfair rule! The purple boy had been starting fights with me for weeks, but no one saw and I couldn¡¯t explain properly, so they just thought I was being moody.


    By Shionaru


    Annoyed, I took out the pouch again and placed the cube on the table. Hare had allowed me to keep the book and the pouch into the classroom. Probably because he considered it studying.


    The cube remained unmoving on the table as I observed it. Beyond its habit to shock people, it was really an unremarkable piece of metal. I opened back the book and resumed my attempt at reading. I tried to recite the prayer as I followed the different words. The number of words really matched the prayer, so it must really be what was written.


    It was kind of exciting to be able to ¡®read¡¯ even though I still didn¡¯t understand individual letters.


    After a while the boy approached me. He looked at the cube and asked me something. I looked at him. His forehead was swollen from the headbutt and his eyes were still red from when he cried.


    I raised an unimpressed eyebrow.


    I wanted to tell him off, but¡­ Wait, maybe that could work!


    I showed him the book¡¯s first line.


    [I will not be trampled!]


    I said, trying to repeat the line.


    It was his turn to raise an eyebrow. I thought that was going to be more effective, but maybe he¡¯s too dumb to get it.


    He shook his head and extended his hand toward me, motioning toward the book.


    I reluctantly handed him the book. He read over the text and put his finger over a line. It took me a second to figure out which one it was:


    ¡°I will expose those who deceive.¡±


    Uh? He thinks I¡¯m lying about something?


    [I¡¯m not lying about anything! You¡¯re dumb!]


    I said before furiously reciting the prayer in my head to find something that would counter it.


    He started talking while pointing at his ears.


    Wait¡­ Does he think I¡¯m faking being¡­! Uh... What was the word Scorn gave me¡­ Deaf!


    [I¡¯m not lying!]


    I said, crossing my arm.


    He pulled his tongue, threw the book back on my desk and went back to sulking on his seat.


    I pulled my tongue in response and went back to trying to read.


    After a while I got bored of trying to decipher the lines and eyed the cube on the table. Unsurprisingly, the boy hadn¡¯t tried to pick up the cube again. I picked it up. The shock stung me immediately.


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    I grimaced at the pain but held on to it. I have to hate it right? That worked last time. Maybe that''s why it hurts? To make it easier..?


    Annoyingly, the more I thought about hating it, the harder it was to focus on changing the cube.


    The boy approached again. Probably curious. He pointed at my hand with his chin. Probably curious about what I was doing. I wanted to show off to shut him off, but it still wasn''t working.


    I focused harder, ignoring his proding, but still no result.


    That stupid thing is making me look like a complete¡­


    Just as I thought about it, the cube turned into a spoon.


    I quickly took the spoon and hit the boy¡¯s forehead with it before it turned back into a cube.


    He looked completely dumbfounded, trying to register what just happened.


    After what felt like several minutes, he just started laughing.


    He laughed so much he fell on his butt making me start to laugh as well. We laughed for several minutes for no good reason.


    Everytime one of us managed to stop, we would just glance at the other still laughing and start laughing even harder. It was contagious, very very contagious. My cheeks and chest were starting to hurt..


    At some point Hare had entered the room and was now staring at us with a smug look on his face.


    Looking like we had made up from his point of view, he invited us back downstairs for the festivities. As we were following him out, I waited until Hare looked away and landed a punch on the boy¡¯s shoulder.


    He looked surprised for a moment, but then a malicious smile appeared on his face and he punched back.


    I couldn''t help but chuckle again. I guess a bit of rivalry never killed anyone.


    Once downstairs Jade scolded me strongly for misbehaving. She eventually relented when I looked sorry enough and took me around. We had some food and later opened gifts. From the look of our visitors, it seems they had been donated by different residents of the area. Some of them were well dressed, but not exactly rich. Perhaps some knights or minor lords?


    The gifts weren¡¯t extravagant, they looked mostly like used children toys and clothes.


    After the gifts had been distributed. Jade insisted we go thank the people who had given them. I had received a brand-new pair of socks along with a small yellow satchel. I wasn¡¯t particularly fond of them since they were things that I would have had dozens at hand in the past, but it would be rude to not say anything.


    We approached a couple. From the man¡¯s velvet coat and the trimming of the woman¡¯s petticoat, I knew right away they had to be from an affluent family. Perhaps nobles?


    I instinctively started to curtsy, but Jade interrupted. She shook her head and instead bowed her head and gave them words of thanks.


    Oh¡­ That¡¯s right. An orphan girl shouldn¡¯t act like a noble.


    The thought made me slightly melancholic for a moment, but I shrugged it off. It was better that way. Anything was better than back then.


    I bowed my head.


    [Thank you.]


    My words were probably ininteligible as always, but Jade made up for it by happily chatting away with the couple.


    We then went to thank an elderly man for the second gift.


    The festivities continued late into the night, at which point I couldn¡¯t keep my eyes open anymore.


    Days continued on and week went by. The winter raged on and the older kids went to play outside, while I was stuck indoors. I continued reading practices. A slight breakthrough came when I managed to explain to Hare and Jade I knew what was written on the first page of the Scorn holy book. We made some progress, but it quickly became apparent that I couldn¡¯t really read the individual letter, I had just memorised the series of letters making up the word.


    I made some rudimentary sentences with the words, but it was far from enough to actually communicate. It felt like a puzzle¡­ With most of the pieces missing.


    Jade tried teaching me other words by writing the words and drawing images and memorising the symbols. I could do it to a degree, but it was painfully slow, and sometimes I simply wouldn¡¯t understand the image she drew or the action she did so I couldn¡¯t connect the letters to a word.


    One day, after coming back from one of his many errands, Hare brought me something. It was an old weathered book. On the cover a circle split in halves and an inscription could be seen.


    Jade curiously looked over my shoulder and seemed to find the title interesting. We followed Hare into the classroom and he started showing us the book, explaining the content to Jade.


    There were a lot of drawings in the book.


    Actually, the book was mostly drawings and just a few words.


    The drawings showed armored characters making strange hand symbols, beside every symbol was an object or another knight doing an action, and a word could be seen at the beginning of every set of drawings¡­


    Was it a sort of¡­ Hand language?!


    I looked up at Jade excitedly and she nodded just as excited as I was.


    We quickly started learning.


    Apparently, the first few pages were directions on how to learn the language and so Hare began tutoring us on the content.


    At first they were simple things like how to address one another with ¡®I, you, they, them and us¡¯, after that we learnt a few necessary objects names, and then actions.


    The hand signals were complex and blended into each other. It required a lot of focus to properly signal them¡­ Let alone understand them.


    -I am food-


    I signaled to Jade, but she shook her head.


    She looked in the book and then signaled back to me.


    -You are hungry-


    I nodded and tried again


    -I was hungry-


    She hesitated for a second and replied.


    -Am, not are-


    Those exchanges became part of our daily life. At first we only practiced in the classroom with Hare, but eventually, we carried the book around and practiced even when playing.


    Slowly, but surely I regained the ability to communicate.

 22. Spring Market

    -Silika, can you help me with this?-


    -Yes, just a second-


    The winter has drawn to a close and spring has begun. With it came a great event called ¡®Spring cleaning¡¯ in which all children had to take part in.


    Over the cold months, Jade and I had tirelessly practiced our ¡®secret language¡¯, as I liked to call it, quite a lot. We had not quite mastered it yet, but we could hold conversations with ease to the point where Hare couldn¡¯t keep up anymore.


    I had gotten to know her quite a bit more over that time of us practicing. As I had guessed, she was older than me by almost two years. Having turned 6 over the course of the winter myself, she was going to turn 8 in just a few weeks.


    Birthday celebrations here were quite tame in contrast to how it had been held back at the estate, but it was still a very fun thing here, especially with so many kids my age instead of grumpy nobles and bourgeois.


    In our time together, I learned that Jade had become an orphan about 2 years ago. Her mother had died giving birth to her while her father, a violent drunk, had been killed by a merchant¡¯s carriage on a street not far from here. Not that his death was anything she mourned. She didn¡¯t say much about it, but from what I gathered he had hurt her. A lot. Not in the same way my parents had hurt me, but in a slow and painful way. The way only bitter adults know. She told me that his death was the best thing that had ever happened to her and that she was very happy here at the orphanage.


    I didn¡¯t really speak about my past at all and she never asked. I think she knew I was from a noble birth since she often taught me how to act. Never in a condescending way, just subtle things like who do you bow your head to or who eats first at the table. I was very thankful for that¡­


    We also spoke of more fun things too. For example she eventually learned what the nickname I had given her was. She had been very pleased with the meaning when I explained it. She tried to tell me her real name with the hand symbols for letters. I now knew how to sign it, but I didn¡¯t know what it sounded like. She also told me that she preferred the nickname I had picked for her anyway. Hare, on the other hand, was another story. He seemed to be offended when he finally understood his nickname, thinking that it meant I was calling him a coward. Apparently, hare and rabbits were often used as insults in this region. I found it very odd since I just thought they looked cute. I had to explain that it was just what his hair and eyes reminded me of them, but he still didn¡¯t like it. In the end he insisted that I call him uncle.


    -How is work progressing?-


    Hare asked as he happened to pass us as I was about to pick up the carpet.


    I stood up and whipped my hands.


    -Almost done, Uncle Hare.-


    He scowled.


    -Just Uncle.-


    He signed clumsily.


    -Slip of the hand, Uncle hare.-


    He grimaced for a moment before giving some kind word of encouragement to jade about keeping up the good work.


    Jade and I picked up the rolled carpet and started our way through the bustling hallways of the orphanage. Everyone was participating in the clean up, and so the hallways were packed with people running around.


    Once outside, we rolled off the carpet and had two older kids help us put it up on the drying line. We used a rugbeater on it one at a time to get the dirt out. The dust coming out from it made me sneeze, but I enjoyed it. There was something relaxing about hitting a rug with reckless abandon.


    The clean up continued for a few more hours and by midafternoon, the orphanage had been cleaned inside out. It was crazy to think how quick a few dozen kids could do things when they really wanted to get it out of the way.


    Sore, I let myself fall on the green grass of the orphanage¡¯s backyard. Far above, the cloud lazily sailed across the blue sky.


    I breathed in the fresh air.


    It felt¡­ Nostalgic.


    It had been so long since I was last able to just lay down, stare at the sky and smell the grass.


    Jade came strolling into the backyard. She walked toward me with a piece of paper in hand.


    I sat up and looked at her curiously. She showed me the front of the piece of paper and my eyes grew with excitement.


    It was a shopping list! A shopping list!


    -We¡¯re going! Uncle said you could come as long as you practice reading the list.-


    Jade explained.


    It was considered one of the biggest rewards to be allowed to go shopping, since you were allowed to buy yourself a snack on your way back. I had never gone on one before!


    I nodded excitedly. I whipped the grass from my dress and ran to the dorm room. There I grabbed the yellow satchel I had received on Baptism day and Darkie who had stayed indoor to not get dirty while we cleaned up.


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    I ran to the front door where Hare and Jade were waiting for me.


    -You listen to Jade ok? Don¡¯t leave her side for a moment.-


    He signed to me


    I nodded seriously. He smiled and gave me a piece of paper.


    -If you get lost, don¡¯t move and try to get the attention of a guard. Give them this paper, ok?-


    I nodded again. He said a few words to Jade and opened the door facing the street.


    The wind blew in my face and, for a moment, I was back on that snowy day when I first arrived in this strange mysterious place. A place far from everything I had ever known. Back then, it was only me and Darkie.


    I looked down at her small body tucked in my arm. She looks a lot like her. Like Goldie.


    After all this time, I still miss her.


    Jade put her hand on my back and I woke up from my daydreaming.


    -Are you ok?-


    She asked me.


    I nodded as I whipped the tear that had been forming at the corner of my eye.


    We waved goodbye to Hare and went into the hustle bustle of the city.


    The streets were filled with people going about their business. Our destination wasn¡¯t far, but we couldn¡¯t push our way through the crowd easily. I clutched onto Jade¡¯s hand so as to not get separated. It took us a long time to reach the wide open space of the market.


    It was incredible!


    So many stalls and people with so many different things to sell. I looked around excitedly, but Jade brought me back to reality.


    -Time for you to practice!-


    She handed me the shopping list and my head started swirling. I might have learnt how to read hand symbols, but somehow, reading words still eluded me.


    -We need¡­ Carrots.-


    Jade frowned immediately.


    -Atleast try to read the list, Silik.-


    My lips pursed and I looked down at the list. The lines looked so pretty and neat, but their meaning was so vague. I had memorised the symbols of the alphabet, but I was still unsure about what sound they were supposed to make. I looked up and down the list until I spotted a string of letters I recognised.


    -Cheese!-


    I said proudly.


    -And how much cheese?-


    Urgh... How much cheese? Is that a trick question? There were a few other words after cheese¡­ I tried to read it, but it remained indecipherable to me.


    I looked down


    -I don¡¯t know.-


    I signed shyly.


    She kneeled down so our faces were at the same height.


    -It¡¯s ok. We are here to practice. Just try your best and we will get through it.-


    She consoled me.


    She then took the time to explain what each of the words meant and try her best to describe what the letters sounded like. We went around the market practicing reading and then going up to merchants to buy the necessary things. Jade took care of talking to the merchants and had a pouch securely fastened to her waist from which she took the small copper coins to purchase the goods. I tried to fit what I could in my satchel but it quickly grew heavy and my knees started hurting.


    -Can we take a break?-


    I asked her, completely out of breath.


    She looked up at the sun, probably trying to guess the time.


    -Can you hold on a bit more?-


    I shook my head.


    She thought about it for a moment before getting back to me.


    -There¡¯s a fountain at the center of the market.-


    She said pointing behind me.


    -You can go sit down and I will come pick you up when I¡¯m done.-


    I nodded and we headed our separate ways.


    There were a lot of people so I couldn¡¯t really see the fountain, but I headed in the direction Jade had given me. After several minutes of walking and my legs coming closer to giving out, I didn¡¯t reach the fountain, instead I had reached the side of the market.


    I looked behind me, but there was nothing but waves and waves of people. I tried to make my way through people, but I couldn¡¯t find it.


    What to do? What to do?!


    ¡°Calm down, Silika! Remember what Hare told us before we left!¡±


    Darkie reminded me.


    Right!


    I dug through my satchel and¡­ Where is it?! Where¡¯s the paper? I looked around, panicked. There was a guard right there. Should I¡­? At that moment, I locked eyes with the guard. He must have noticed me.


    What should I do? What should I say?


    He bent down, spear in hand, and smiled at me. He asked me something, probably if I was lost.


    [Hum, I lost my friend.]


    He tilted his head and asked me the same thing again.


    [I¡¯m looking for the fountain, do you know where it is?]


    Still no reaction as expected. It would have been a miracle for someone to actually understand for once.


    ...Maybe I could try hand signs..?


    -I am lost.-


    He didn¡¯t notice my hands moving. So I backed up a bit and repeated. This time he definitely noticed, but his expression wasn¡¯t good. He looked angry¡­


    He said a few words to me while pointing at my hands.


    [I¡¯m sorry. I don¡¯t..]


    I said as I signed the same, but before I could finish my sentence he clamped down on both my hands with his glove.


    It hurt. It hurt a lot. He wasn¡¯t being gentle or trying to calm me. He was angry, very very angry.


    [I.. I.. I¡¯m sorry.]


    He squeezed harder as he said things I couldn¡¯t understand. He was about to stand up and pull me along when he looked behind me.


    He looked surprised. He removed his hands from me and I felt a reassuring warmth on my back, from the corner of my eyes I recognised Jade. She spun me around and bent to my height.


    -Are you ok?-


    As I was about to nod she looked at the guard behind me and said something angrily. She looked at me again.


    -Are you?-


    I nodded and she hugged me. She stood tall again and said something toward the guard before dragging me away by the hand.


    I looked back at the man who was still staring at us. I suddenly realised it wasn¡¯t anger in his eyes.


    No, it was something else. Something I had seen before.


    It was the same look my mother had in her eyes that night all those months ago...

 23. The preparations

    The memories of that day at the market slowly faded from my mind as spring came in full swing. With the warm winds came the festival season.


    -We have to meet with Hare for the Spring Bloom festival after breakfast.-


    Jade said as she sat beside me at the breakfast table.


    The kids were still trickling in the dining room, so there was a bit of time to talk.


    -Are we making garlands?-


    I asked.


    She shook her head.


    -We¡¯re going to help at the church.-


    The Spring Bloom Festival was a celebration to look forward to a bountiful summer. It was celebrated by both the church of Fey and Alenia. In other words, a celebration of Life and Harvest.


    From what Jade explained to me, the Fey church did a lot for our orphanage. So during celebrations, we were expected to volunteer our help.


    Hare finally arrived at the table and gave the usual short prayer and we started our meal.


    Jade had once taken the time to shortly recite it to me:


    ¡®To those who watch over us, we are thankful. Praise be.¡¯


    A simple but effective prayer. Something much shorter than the ones that had been recited at the dining table of the estate. It was probably to account for the fact that the children worshiped dozens of different gods at their own discretion.


    I, myself, had taken to making a short prayer before bed.


    Nothing big, but Hare had once explained to me that when we feel upset, it can be good for our head to tell someone. So when it was things I couldn¡¯t tell Jade or didn¡¯t want Darkie¡¯s consolation, I told Scorn.


    After we finished our meal, Jade and I went to meet Hare in his office.


    -You two will go to the church and help Kinsmann F¡¯?? to organise seat assignment.-


    I felt the corner of my eye pinch.


    Names were truly my weakness when it came to language since they used standard letters even in our secret language.


    -Work hard... and make sure to come back before dark, understand?-


    We both nodded. I waved us off and we started making our way to the Septenary church, where the celebrations would take place.


    I had gotten acquainted with the streets around the orphanage over the last few weeks. Although we weren¡¯t allowed to go as far as the market, Hare would allow us to go play in the neighborhood¡¯s streets as long as we stayed together.


    Some of the locals greeted us as we passed them in the street. An old lady stopped us and started talking with Jade. As they exchanged a few words, I started feeling bored, so I looked at the houses..


    It was still a strange sight to behold.


    Having grown up on an estate in the countryside, I wasn¡¯t used to seeing so many buildings all packed together. Even more impressingly, they reached high into the sky. As tall as five floors! On the other hand, the look of the buildings wasn''t anything particularly beautiful. Some of the buildings had faded colours mixed in the plaster or stains from soot. Drying lines were strewn from building to building, and beautiful flowers grew at window sills.


    [Say, Darkie. Do you think we¡¯ll live in one of those houses in the future?]


    Darkie remained silent for a moment.


    ¡°I don¡¯t think we¡¯ve ever thought about the future.¡±


    I pondered on the idea for a second.


    [I guess you¡¯re right¡­ But what do you think? Do you think this will be where we go once we¡¯re too old for the orphanage? What will we do? Jade said she wanted to become a scribe, but what about us?]


    ¡°Maybe we can become¡­ Secret language teachers..?¡±


    [And teach everyone how to talk with us?]


    ¡°Yeah!¡±


    I smiled.


    [Sounds fun!]


    Thinking about the future is not something I had ever had to do before. But now that I had to, I started thinking that maybe I could do something with my life.


    Jade was wrapping up her discussion with the old lady. The woman came to see me and said some words before pinching my cheek and giving me a pear.


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    I smiled and bowed to thank her. The wayJade had taught me.


    She gave me a very bright smile before wishing us farewell.


    -What did she want?-


    I asked Jade before taking a bite into the pear.


    -Nothing, she just wanted to talk.-


    I thought about it for a moment.


    -I think she¡¯s lonely.-


    Jade looked at me for a moment and then nodded.


    -Her husband died a year ago and her daughter has moved west to live with her husband¡¯s family. She¡¯s alone now.-


    -Doesn¡¯t she have friends? There¡¯s a lot of people around here. Maybe they could play together?-


    Jade smiled sadly.


    -I¡¯m sure she has lots of friends, but you know, when you go back home after playing and no one is there waiting for you, it feels even lonelier than before.-


    I could tell that there was weight behind Jade¡¯s words. She also had felt that loneliness before.


    As we finished eating the fruits the old lady had given us, we finally arrived at the church and made our way inside.


    There were a lot of people preparing for the festival. I recognised some of the garlands other kids had made at the orphanage yesterday being hung up on the arches running across the ceiling.


    Jade asked a man where to find the Fey Kinsmann and he pointed to an area at the side of the altar.


    There a white haired woman dressed in a black and red robe gave directives to a set of craftsmen preparing what looked like a podium.


    We made our way down the aisles.


    Jade called out to the kinsmann.


    When she turned around, the first thing I noticed was not her scarlet eyes, but instead how beautiful she was. Her face was slim yet plump, her nose short yet defined, her hair long yet wavy like a cloud. She looked like a statue of the kindreds.


    When she noticed us, she clasped her hand together and approached us. She said something while looking at us at an interval. Jade took the lead as I was still struck in awe and explained who we were.


    She nodded happily and told us to follow along.


    When she turned around, I quickly signed to Jade.


    -She¡¯s so pretty!-


    Jade nodded enthusiastically.


    -I know! And do you want to know a secret?-


    -A secret? Sure!-


    A mischievous smile appeared on Jade''s face.


    -I hear that she¡¯s Hare¡¯s girlfriend!-


    My eyes grew wide. Her?!


    -Really??-


    -Really, really!-


    She nodded with conviction.


    -But don¡¯t tell anyone! It¡¯s supposed to be a secret!-


    I nodded in agreement.


    I couldn¡¯t believe that Hare had such a pretty girlfriend!


    We eventually reached an office. There the kinsmann showed us sheets of paper with squares on it and a sheet packed with words. She then explained to us what to do which Jade translated for me.


    -Those are attendance papers. We have to look at all of them and make sure everyone has an assigned seat with a number. We have to make sure to put families together and the nobles closer to the front and center.-


    Jade explained, as the Kinsmann took a pile of paper of all the attendance slips.


    -She says that we should start by making a list of attendees with their titles and then assign them the seat so we don¡¯t make any mistake.-


    I nodded in understanding.


    I noticed the kinsmann was also staring at me with a large smile on her face. She said something to me and then looked at Jade.


    -She says that she¡¯s heard a lot about you from Uncle, and that she¡¯s happy that you have adapted so well to living with us.-


    Explained Jade with a smile.


    The compliment made me smile and I nodded in appreciation at her. She patted the two of us on the head before waving us goodbye as she left us in the office.


    I turned toward Jade waiting for her to get started, but to my surprise, her expression was quite perplexed.


    Is she¡­ Not good at these things?


    I looked down a Darkie and wondered.


    [Can *I* do this?]


    ¡°We won¡¯t know until we try!¡¯


    So let''s think, we need to make a list¡­ So it¡¯s like when we stand in a lign to choose teams at the orphanage¡­ We then have to make sure to put the title to remember where to seat them¡­ So it''s a bit like giving them different colours of armbands¡­ And then once it¡¯s done, I have to tell who goes where.


    I looked at the sheet with squares. It looked like the shape of the church. Each square had a number. So we have to give the seats the most at the front to the ones with the best armbands¡­ Or in other words to the highest ranking nobles¡­ And make sure they were with their family.


    I looked at the paper and reflected for a minute.


    My first instinct was to draw people, but then there would be no way of knowing who was who. And it would become chaotic.


    I looked at the sheet of paper and found the word for name. Underneath, a list of words was written in a different handwriting. That had to be the names.


    -Ok, I have a plan!-


    I made three columns and explained my idea to Jade.


    -So here what we¡¯re going to do; we will put the names here and the ranks here¡­]


    As she listened to my explanation, it seems Jade finally snapped out of her panic.


    She nodded and took the piece of paper and started to write the names in the first column grouped in brackets, in the second column she wrote the rank, and we left the last empty to write the seat.


    We split the work with me finding the information on the paper and her writing it down.


    The work progressed swimmingly and before long we started assigning seats. It took several hours but eventually we had mapped out seating numbers for every single guest.


    When the Archkinsmann eventually came to check on us, she was pleased with her work and gave us a candy as a reward.


    By the time we left the church, the sky was already turning a shade of orange.


    -Done! Now we can just have fun at the festival!-


    I celebrated. It was only two days until the festival and I was looking forward to participating in all the activities.


    -Oh¡­ You didn¡¯t hear¡­?-


    I looked at Jade and tilted my head.


    -Well of course I didn¡¯t hear. What is it?-


    She smiled apologetically.


    -We¡¯re also in charge of showing people to their seats during the opening ceremony.-


    -WHAT?!-

 24. Usherring of a new day

    -I hate this¡­-


    I said as I tugged on the church attendant dress I was forced to wear.


    The fabric was rough and itchy.


    -Please bear with it, it''s only for today.-


    Jade reminded me.


    We were standing at one of the 4 great doors of the church. In front of us, hundreds of people were standing, waiting for the bells to ring, announcing the beginning of the festival.


    Jade and I had been recruited amongst many of the other orphans, to help with seating guests at the church.


    Jade had been assigned as a greeter for our table. She would be in charge of welcoming the guests and finding them on the list. I and three other girls at the same table had been assigned as ushers. We had to guide the guests to their seats.


    After practicing all day yesterday, and having created the seating plan myself, I was pretty confident that I could do my job, but there were so many people¡­.


    The bells finally rang and the people started making their way toward us.


    -Get ready.-


    Jade told me.


    I nodded and stood straight as I had been taught yesterday.


    Almost immediately a line of people formed in front of Jade. She happily welcomed them, reading off the list and letting the ushers help them find their seat.


    The first group I ushered in was a family of four. The father sported deep blue hair while the mother had a head of gold. Their eyes were both a shade of dark orange colour. It was especially interesting to observe their children who had hair which shined a different hue depending on the light. Both blue and gold, who knew those colours could be so similar?


    Ela had explained long ago that the eyes and hair of children could be either the same as one of the parents, a mix, or the same as some ancestor, but I found it more interesting when it was a mix.


    The family was seated toward the center of the church, so I figured they must be some kind of lower nobility.


    The second group I escorted were two sets of couples. One elderly and one recently married. The young couple were stuck to each other, barely paying attention to Jade or I while they were being ushered in. The old couple on the other hand were overly talkative, even having Jade convey how happy they were for such a ¡®pretty young rose¡¯ to show them to their place.


    I was happy for the compliment, although I wasn¡¯t sure I was overly happy about being called a rose. They were the second, after Scorn, to have called me that way, but I didn¡¯t like it. It was the colour of my family, not my own. I didn¡¯t want to be pink. I wanted to be gold like Goldie and Darkie.


    I guided the couple to their seats and walked back to the entrance. The progress was going well. I ushered in ten more groups. The church was starting to look rather packed.


    As another girl sat the last person in the line, we all released a sigh of relief. It wouldn¡¯t be long before we could all go back and play.


    Just as I was about to ask Jade where we should watch the welcoming event from, a man approached the table. He walked hunched forward, his wine coloured hair covering his face.For a moment, I thought he was an old man from the way he walked, until he reached the table. He was tall. Taller than Hare¡­ Or any adult I had met, and he definitely wasn¡¯t an old man. Maybe Goldie or Hare¡¯s age at most.


    As he raised his head to speak his name to Jade, I finally saw his face. He was a handsome man. The contours of his jaw were angular and strong, and his face was clean shaven, but there was something about him. Something sad. His cheek looked sunken and above them I could see¡­ His golden eyes¡­


    They moved in my direction, they had deep dark circles underneath them. We locked eyes for a moment. He simply stared at me. A sad glimmer in his eyes.


    Jade turned to me and gave me his seat number; 5-3. A noble, maybe a baron or a count?


    I nodded at her. And bowed to the man before inviting him to follow me. I walked a few paces before looking back, just to realise he had not moved an inch. He simply stared at me, sad and unmoving. I looked at Jade, but she was just as confused as I was.


    There wasn¡¯t much time, the ceremony was about to start¡­


    Unauthorized content usage: if you discover this narrative on Amazon, report the violation.


    I walked back to the man and grabbed his hand. He looked at me slightly confused, that is until I started pulling him along. He let himself be pulled without resisting.


    [11...10...9...8...7...6¡­.5!]


    As we reached his seat, I turned around to show him, but to my dismay I noticed something on his face.


    It¡¯s¡­ tears? He¡¯s crying?? A grown up is crying?


    I looked around for help. But people were already focusing on the event starting at the front.


    I tried to stay calm.


    I couldn¡¯t just leave the man crying in the middle of the church like that!


    I recalled the kinsmann¡¯s instructions and took a deep breath. I pulled the man along, this time heading for the aisle. There, we went down the side of the main hall of the corridor until we reached the area behind the main altar.


    I pulled the man along and found the Fey kinsmann from the other day.


    She was still giving directions to volunteers, but when she saw me approaching she quickly dismissed them.


    She gave one good look at me and the man and seemed to immediately understand what was going on. She was about to say something and grab the man¡¯s arm, but someone called out to her. Looking a bit guilty, she pointed at one of the prayer rooms and showed me her index to tell me she would be there momentarily.


    I looked at the man. He still looked pitiful, but his crying had calmed down slightly.


    I walked to the prayer room and took a seat on one of the pews, but he, again, simply stared at me with an empty look.


    I tapped the seat with my palm to show him to sit down beside me. After hesitating a moment he sat down. He looked at the front for a moment. I followed his gaze. There, I noticed a carved statue of the goddess of la Seeir.


    It wasn''t a rare sight, especially in a Septenary church, but he looked transfixed with it for a moment before slouching forward and putting his face in his hands.


    Uh¡­


    I felt uncomfortable. Unsure what to do, I patted his back the way Goldie had done long ago when I cried.


    He looked up at the statue once again and started talking. He spoke toward the statue. Maybe he was praying? He turned toward me for a moment and stopped speaking. He looked down and resumed his talking for a bit.


    Maybe he''s talking to Seeir? Talking about the things that make him upset the same way I tell Scorn at night.


    He continued for a while, speaking to the floor.


    Eventually, he stopped and looked at me, as if to ask me for my opinion.


    I couldn¡¯t tell what he said, but I guess it can''t hurt to try saying something?


    [I...I don''t really understand a lot of things¡­ I don¡¯t understand what you¡¯re saying to me right now. I don''t understand why I stopped hearing things. I don''t understand why no one can understand me or why the Meiriem Archkinsmann was angry with me. I don''t understand why my dad hit me, or why he made my siblings hit me too. I don''t know why my mom tried to strangle me.]


    I stopped talking and looked toward him. I couldn''t tell if he understood me, but he was listening attentively so I continued.


    [I don''t understand why bad things happen... But I do know good things happen too. Goldie came to take care of me. She made me Darkie. She helped me escape from the estate and sent me to the orphanage. There, I met Hare and Jade¡­ And the fat purple boy who is so fun to tease! I went to the market and learned to speak a secret language! A lot of good things happened to me...]


    I looked at him and smiled.


    [I don''t know what happened or what made you sad, but I''m sure something good will happen to you too.]


    He looked at me, dumbfounded. He dug into his pocket and offered me a handkerchief.


    Just then, I realised that at one point or another I had started tearing up as well.


    I accepted the handkerchief and dried my face.


    After some time, the Fey Kinsmann came to the room.


    She smiled at me and gave a small thankful bow and let me know I could leave.


    I got up and bowed to the man.


    I suddenly remembered the handkerchief still in my hands. I tried to give it back, but the man gave a weak attempt at a smile before lifting his hand and shaking his head.


    He¡¯s¡­ Giving me his handkerchief?


    Suddenly my sister¡¯s stories about galant princes giving princesses their handkerchief surfaced in my mind.


    I felt the tip of my ears burning at the thought.


    I instinctively gave an awkward curtsy before quickly escaping the room.


    I nervously paced through the back area, keeping my head down so no one could see the red of my cheeks.


    Why did I curtsy? Why did I curtsy? Orphans don¡¯t curtsy, only ladies curtsy!


    I must keep it a secret from Jade or she will scold me¡­ I tucked the handkerchief in my pocket and headed back to the church entrance, where the others were still waiting for the end of the ceremony.


    Jade noticed me and waved me in.


    -What happened?-


    -Long story. I¡¯ll tell you later.-


    I answered, trying to hide my flustered expression.


    Shortly after the ceremony came to a close.


    Although the festival officially began today, Jade had explained to me, the actual public attraction wouldn¡¯t start until tomorrow, so we slowly made our way back to the orphanage.


    The next day, I woke up early and with Jade we prepared to go to the festival.


    Just as we were on our way out, we came across a man walking up the path to the orphanage..


    It took me a moment to recognise him, with his straight posture, clean face and composed expression, but he was unmistakable. Fiery hair and golden eyes, it was the man for yesterday. He still looked exhausted, but nowhere near to yesterday¡¯s condition.


    When he noticed me he gave a smile and said some words to us.


    Jade bowed and so did I, but I still raised an eyebrow.


    We continued on our way to the festival, but I couldn¡¯t stop wondering; Why was the man from yesterday at the orphanage¡­?

 25. The call of the void (Part 1)

    Nothing. The void. Death. A gift mann received from Solomon.


    In the tight embrace of the fictitious remains of the immaterium, we return from whence we came and hopefully rejoin those that once were lost¡­ But in the meantime, we remain forever split from them.


    Only momentarily, can we touch the membrane of the unknown in our dreams.


    A light appeared. Sentience; the material plane called to me from this illusion. I bore witness as the darkness was ripped away from me.


    ¡°Good morning, my lord.¡±


    The butler said as he slid the curtain open, letting light flood the dark room.


    I could feel my face was flat on the desk, something sticky on my cheek. I opened my eyes to witness the remains of a candle that had burnt out the night before. It had leaked all over the table and reached my face


    I lifted my head and the harsh ray of the morning sun crossing the large window in front of my desk assaulted my senses.


    I grunted as I ripped away the wax which had solidified on my face..


    ¡°May I humbly suggest a bath be brought to your quarters?¡±


    In front of me, the estate butler was still facing the window. Either out of respect for my miserable appearance or as an attack to my authority.


    Either way, I couldn¡¯t care less.


    ¡°A pitcher and a towel will do.¡±


    The butler turned toward me with a frowning expression on his face.


    ¡°With all due respect, my lord. If I may¡­¡±


    ¡°You may not.¡±


    I cut his sentence short. I knew what he was going to say, since I had heard the same thing every morning for weeks now¡­ Perhaps months?


    Irrelevant.


    Time was simply a hurdle between me and the inevitable embrace of the void.


    The butler seemed to hesitate for a moment, but nodded.


    ¡°I will have it brought momentarily¡­ Along with your breakfast.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t need a br¡­¡±


    The butler had already slamed the door behind him, leaving me once again alone in the confines of my office.


    Having slept on my desk for yet another night, my body felt completely sore. I rubbed my face and aside from the stubbles of my week old beard and the raw skin from the wax, I felt the imprint of the letter that still remained sealed on my desk.


    I picked it up and examined it. I knew the insignia. It was mine. Or perhaps I should say my father¡¯s.


    I knew of its content, but was there truly a point to delaying the inevitable? This letter will have to be read... and eventually answered. I had not spoken to my father in years yet he still wrote to me.


    I gripped the letter opener and sliced the envelope open.


    I opened the delicate piece of paper and started reading its content.


    ¡®To my son Marshall,


    It is with a heavy heart that I write to you. My condition has taken its toll on my body and I can feel the sweet embrace of Solomon coming for me. As my life is reaching its apogee, my thoughts lay on you, my only child and heir.


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    It was only seven short years ago when you left home for Evergreen, but to my now weakened mind, it feels like a lifetime ago.


    Your fiance¡¯s tragic demise weighs heavily on my soul. The guilt of never having blessed your union will be a shame I will carry to my grave. Yet I have no choice, but to beg you to reconsider your decision.


    You are young and¡­¡¯


    I crumpled up the letter and tossed it aside.


    I had read enough.


    It has only been 4 months since Lili¡¯s¡­ Since my fiance Lilica died¡­


    I hear the door of the room open once again. The butler places a tray of food and a pitcher on my desk.


    I washed my face and neck as the butler poured a cup of warm tea.


    The water still dripping down my face, I took a long sip of the bitter tea. The taste lingered on my tongue and cleared my muddled mind.


    I stared at the crumpled letter on the floor.


    Despite my personal feelings on the matter, I knew my father was right.


    After Lilica''s death, I had sworn myself off marriage, but as my father''s death was becoming inevitable, other nobles used this to attack my legitimacy as an heir.


    Being unwilling to produce an heir was tantamount to being an eunuch in their eyes. If a court ruled in their favour, our dynasty would be considered dead and I would be stripped of my rights as a baron, let alone a count¡­


    I knew what had to be done, but the idea of marrying a woman other than Lilica made me sick. It was unreasonable to ask this of me and they knew this. Yet, they exploited this weakness.


    They saw in it an opportunity to claim my family''s land and they were taking it.


    Most frustratingly, Lilica''s father, the Duke of Norland, also participated in this campaign against me. He blamed me for her untimely death as he had been opposed to our union.


    To make matters more complicated, we had been vassals to their family, but only in name. For generations, they had tried to subdue our territory by any means.


    Unfortunately for him, his daughter and I fell in love.


    We met seven years ago.


    Being from a military dynasty and of Steinhnner descent; members of our family had always produced exceptional soldiers.


    As faith had it, the Heillhs Empire had invaded Lowland just as I became of age to take up arms.


    I spent 3 years repelling the invaders. I led my father¡¯s retinue as he was too infirm to once more take to battle. I learned how to lead men and the weight of holding their lives in my hands.


    War was war, but the empire was an honorable opponent.


    A good death to them meant either by being bested by a fellow duellist or as an old man at home. They did not partake in mindless slaughter and many of our lost men were taken prisoners.


    After the siege of Khaln Fortress made the outcome of the war obvious, they surrendered, returned our imprisoned men and withdrew their troops.


    When we returned victorious to the capital, a great ball took place and there I met her.


    It only took a look for us to become taken with each other.


    We got engaged almost immediately, but due to her father¡¯s reluctance the wedding never took place.


    Seven years we sought his approval and for seven years we hid that we had already held a ceremony.


    We were happy, despite everything.


    A year ago, she became pregnant. We had planned to force the Duke¡¯s hand to approve our union once the baby was born, but, six months later, there were complications.


    I still remember that night. She woke up screaming. The sheets were covered in blood. I sent for a doctor, but by the time he arrived she had lost too much blood.


    I could only hold her as she had grown colder.


    Her screams of pain and desolation still haunt me.


    ¡°Master Ashbrook?¡±


    The butler asked, taking me out of my reveries.


    ¡°About today¡¯s Agenda¡­¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not going anywhere today.¡±


    I tried to interrupt him, but he ignored me.


    ¡°You have a commitment at the Septenary church.¡±


    I crossed my arms.


    ¡°I don¡¯t remember any commitment.¡±


    I retorted, looking at him dubiously.


    It was probably just another one of his tricks.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t?¡±


    He said with an exaggerated tone of surprise.


    ¡°Ah yes! That¡¯s right, it was lady Lilica! You must remember that the lady was particularly fond of the Fey church and their Spring Bloom Festival? Trully, I remember her speaking of it with so much enthusiasm. Wasn¡¯t there a lot of children tending to the event?¡±


    Ah... I remember... Lili loved that event. Lots of activities and children. She always loved children¡­


    It was that day, going to the festival that she announced to me that she was with child.


    One of the happiest days of my life.


    I felt a cloud over my mind, but I relented.


    ¡°Right. You¡¯ve convinced me. I will go.¡±


    The butler clasped his hand  and a smile lifted his mustache.


    ¡°Splendid! I will have someone come up and make you presentable!¡±

 26. The call of the void (Part 2)

    The carriage was making its way to the Septenary church in the lower district.


    It was in no way the most glamorous church in the capital, but it had a strong connection with the people.


    As per noblesse oblige, the aristocratic families had picked these facilities to make appearances on public holidays. It allowed for a closer connection with the commoners¡­ Or so they said.


    Before, I personally had frequented a church in the upper districts dedicated to the god of war, Steihnner, for the strength and protection he had provided me in battle¡­ But now these blessings felt vain in a world I barely felt a connection with.


    The carriage came to a stop and I stared out of the window. The church stood tall and bright. It¡¯s incandescent marble walls standing in great contrast to the neighboring commoner housing.


    The coach driver opened the door and I stepped down.


    The steps leading to the church were still the same I had climbed a year ago with my Lilica.


    I could hear her laughs and her excited talks about the children manning the door and about the baby¡­.


    Now, the judgmental stare of a hundred gods sculpted into the church walls weigh heavily on my conscience.


    I had failed her. I had failed them. I had failed myself.


    I struggled to keep straight as I pushed through my shame to walk up to the doors of the church.


    ¡°W-Welcome sir!¡±


    A nervous voice said at the door. I lifted my head and met the girl¡¯s emerald green eyes.


    From her expression, I already knew my face must have looked horrible, but she tried to stay composed and smiled.


    ¡°C-Could I have y-yo-your name, p-please?¡±


    The girl had difficulty getting words out, a stutter maybe? Not surprising. Orphans seemed to have issues more often than other children. Perhaps as a result of losing their parents¡­ Or maybe they were the reason their parents abandoned them.


    ¡°Baron Marshall Ashbrook.¡±


    I told the girl.


    Her eyes darted through the sheet of paper in front of her.


    ¡°Y-Your s-ss-seat will b-be 5-1 to 5-3. W..Will the o-o-ooo-other guest j-join y-you soon?¡±


    Something gripped my guts.


    ¡°No.¡±


    I said dryly.


    Her face twitched nervously. Maybe I should have tried to sound nicer¡­


    ¡°I-I-I see. P-Please follow my f-fr-friend S-Si-Si-li-li-lika¡±


    Li...Lilica?


    My eyes jumped to the other girl.


    And there she was.


    In the flesh.


    We had spoken of her extensively.


    How she would have looked.


    Golden eyes like mine. The same round cheeks and small shapely nose as hers. Hair a perfect mix of my fiery red and her shimmering silver.


    The same fierce look as her mother.


    The greeter girl said something to ¡®Lilica¡¯, but I was so focused on looking at this mirage that I didn¡¯t even hear words being exchanged.


    The little girl that shouldn¡¯t exist gave a small bow and started walking away.


    I tried to capture the apparition¡¯s form with my eyes before it disappeared.


    Maybe the gods in their eternal mercy granted me a vision of my unborn daughter? A last farewell?


    ¡°S-Sir? S-Silika is w-w-waiting for y-you.¡±


    Was that the name we would have given her? Silika¡­ So similar to her mother.


    Is it really my time? Should I join them in the void? The great unknown?


    The apparition stopped and turned toward me. Her eyes locked with mine again.


    The same golden eyes as the one I had seen in the mirror every day of my life.


    For a symbol of hate, why did they look so lovely on her?


    Suddenly the apparition came back rushing toward me.


    Had the gods lost patience with me? Had they come to claim me here and now in this holy ground?


    Something warm latched onto my hand.


    My mind snatched back to reality. This was real. Not an apparition. Lilica was dead and my daughter was never born.


    I looked down expecting the apparition to have changed form, but to my surprise she was the same.


    Her fierce eyes looked at me with a tinge of annoyance, but also worry.


    She pulled me along and we travelled along the rows of seats.


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    To think there was a girl like her, living in this world. A girl just like my daughter.


    I felt my eyes about to burst. I hadn¡¯t cried since the day Lilica died, but now that I saw this girl, I couldn¡¯t hold it in anymore.


    I tried to keep a straight face, but the tears kept flowing. We eventually reached my seat, but the girl panicked when she saw me.


    She looked around for a bit, before dragging me off-stage to a Fey kinsmann.


    ¡°What is it, Silika¡­? Oh I see¡­ Let me just¡­¡±


    The woman tried to say before being interrupted.


    ¡°Felicia! Can you come check this out?¡±


    The kinsmann named Felicia looked at a loss. I couldn¡¯t meet her eyes, ashamed of my current situation.


    ¡°Silika, can you bring the lord to the prayer room? I¡¯ll be there in a moment.¡±


    The young girl nodded and dragged me to the prayer room.


    Once the door behind us closed, I found it oddly quiet. While the rest of the church had been packed and busy, this room was completely silent.


    The girl I now realised was named Silika, not Lilica, took a seat on one of the pews.


    She looked so young. Probably no more than 5 or 6 years old, yet her face had a serious expression on it.


    It suddenly occurred to me that this girl must be an orphan as well. She was dressed in the outfit they gave children when assisting service. She also had been waiting at the doors.


    She looked at me curiously for a moment before wordlessly inviting me to come sit beside her.


    Realising how awkward it was to just stand there, I came and sat right beside her. It was strange to have such a small thing sitting right beside me. Like having a small animal.


    I looked in front. There a statue of Seeir stood.


    Lilica, being of very strong Seeir descent, had been a strong believer in the goddess of law¡¯s teaching. Believing that her life¡¯s mission was to spread the idea of peace and equality to the masses. I had always thought it slightly naive, but it was part of her charm.


    Tears started flowing my eyes again as I recalled these things. I hid my face in my hands, ashamed of the display I was showing this child.


    To my surprise, I felt a small tud on my back. I turned to the girl who was awkwardly reaching around my large back to pat it.


    Probably imitating something she had seen before.


    Such a small thing...


    I faced the statue and peered into Seeir¡¯s inscrutable eyes..


    ¡°Life is really strange, you know?¡±


    I said, leaving a moment of silence, but the girl didn¡¯t say anything, so I continued.


    ¡°I had everything. The love of my life with a baby on the way. We finally were going to make peace with her father and have him acknowledge us. We were going to return to Norland and live peacefully at my father¡¯s estate until one day I would succeed him. A quaint life. No war, no politics. I would have given up anything I needed for us to live happily¡­ And in one single night, all of it was gone.¡±


    I turned and looked at the girl.


    Her bright eyes curiously stared at me.


    I couldn¡¯t bear to look at her, so I turned away again.


    ¡°You look a lot like her, you know? Or what she would have looked like... I kept thinking about it for the last 6 months. What our life would have been if that night had never happened. What our baby would have looked like, what she would have sounded like and acted like. What we would have named her¡­ Sometimes, I wonder¡­ I wonder if it¡¯s worth continuing. They will never come back. I will never meet a woman like her, and my child will never grow up. Is it really a life worth living? Should I just give up? Let them take everything that¡¯s left? Let the Duke roll us over, take my land, my name? Should I give up and live as a beggar in the low quarters or perhaps simply return to the dirt in the hopes of meeting those I love in the void? Is it worth fighting on for a life I don¡¯t even want to live anymore?¡±


    I looked at the girl once more, braving her fierce stare, hoping for a sign. Although I now knew she was not a spirit sent by the gods, there was wisdom in the words of children.


    She hesitated for a moment. Bit her lips, tried to say something,but then stopped, before thinking about it again.


    ¡°Ey don ry dertion¡­¡±


    As soon as she started speaking, I understood how self absorbed I had been.


    Her speech was broken. Completely indecipherable, but it was structured. Reflected and thought through.


    She was telling me something no mortal ears could ever hear.


    Something deep, painful and abject. She shared these things with a stranger who she could not speak to¡­ And couldn¡¯t listen.


    I knew what she was.


    I had met soldiers like her on the battlefield. Men who had been too close to explosions or other accidents.


    Losing your hearing was difficult enough as an adult, I couldn¡¯t begin to imagine how it was for an orphan child.


    As she spoke, tears pooled in the corner of her eyes. She whipped them without stopping her speech. As she did, her sleeves pulled back, exposing her arm.


    Scars covered them. They looked discolored, like the shield arm of career soldiers.


    I felt sick to the stomach just imagining what might have caused those marks.


    By the time she was done, she was sobbing loudly, but still looked up at me, smiling through the tears clouding her eyes.


    I reached into my breast pocket and handed her my handkerchief.


    Nevermind that I was giving it to a commoner, the guilt of making a child recall whatever she had gone through was a much graver sin.


    Soon after the kinsmann returned to the room.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry about the delay..!¡±


    She noticed Silika¡¯s teary eyes, but seeing as the young girl was smiling, she probably thought it better not to say anything. She gave a short bow to the girl.


    ¡°Thank you, Silika! You can return to your friends now.¡±


    The little girl hopped off from the pew and gave a short bow in my direction. She looked down at her hand, remembering the handkerchief, and tried to give it back to me.


    I shook my head.


    ¡°It¡¯s a gift. For the trouble I caused.¡±


    She probably misunderstood what I said as her face turned red in embarrassment.


    She then did something unusual .


    She curtsied like a young noble lady before running out of the room.


    I looked at the door dumbfounded.


    ¡°She¡¯s an angel, isn¡¯t she?¡±


    I blinked a few times, before I realised the kinsmann was addressing me.


    ¡°Uh, yes! Sorry. Yes absolutely. A very kind girl.¡±


    She smiled.


    ¡°Smart too. She¡¯s the one who organised the seating arrangement for today¡¯s event. Or so her friend claims.¡±


    Surprisingly it seemed the kinsmann was familiar with the girl¡­


    ¡°Who¡­ Who is she?¡±


    I was still thinking about the curtsy at the end, but perhaps she had not noticed.


    She tilted her head, giving me an inquisitive look, but opted to simply respond to my question.


    ¡°Her name is Silika. She¡¯s from the orphanage that¡¯s being run just two street from here.¡±


    ¡°And she¡¯s¡­¡±


    I said while pointing at my ear.


    ¡°Deaf? Yes. Very much so. Untreatable from what I¡¯m told. I don''t know the details, but I also heard her family was quite abusive too. She¡¯s still healing from that.¡±


    ¡°Poor kid.¡±


    I said without thinking, but the kinsmann knowingly nodded.


    She cleared her throat and turned toward me again.


    ¡°...But we¡¯re here for you right now. Was there something I could do for you? If you need some guidance or¡­¡±


    I shook my head.


    ¡°No. I think Silika gave me all the guidance I needed today.¡±


    She nodded and I stood up from my seat.


    I walked toward the door, but before I left, I turned to the woman once more.


    ¡°Uhm¡­ About the orphanage.¡±


    A knowing smile appeared on her face.


    ¡°Yes, it¡¯s On Plum street, just turn left out of the church. It¡¯s two streets down. You can¡¯t miss it.¡±


    I nodded and headed back to my seat in the main hall.

 27. The call of the void (Part 3)

    The carriage took me through the narrow streets of the lower district once more as I leaned against the door, staring at the passing houses. My visit at the church yesterday had left me much to think about.


    Sitting at my desk, I had first considered what sort of donation I should give the orphanage. Not only was it what Lily would have wanted, but also because I felt as though I owed them something. My eyes drifted across the desk as I pondered on this question until it landed on the crumpled ball of paper still on my desk. I unfolded it and stared at the neat handwriting of my father.


    The impending death he mentioned in his letter was not, as some might imagine, a play on my sense of duty. For years now his lungs had been under attack by some disease as per the messengers reports. He had not much time left in this world and his pleas were not of a selfish nature.


    If I didn¡¯t marry and prove I could produce an heir before his death, not only the county, but my position as a noble and all our land would be stripped from our dynasty. I knew this, but I couldn¡¯t bring myself to betray Lilica.


    My thoughts then drifted to the young girl. Silika. She looked so much like her. Almost as if she was our¡­


    I leaned back on my chair. Yes. That could work.


    I stood up from my chair and immediately called for Alzan, my butler. He seemed confused at first when I explained that I wished for him to prepare a room for a young girl, but the rest of my requests seemed to clear up any strange misunderstanding.


    The entire staff was busy at the estate that evening. When I woke up in the morning, I let the servant bathe me and ate properly. I couldn¡¯t present myself to the orphanage looking like a corpse.


    The carriage came to a stop at the church just as I had requested. I had told them it was to avoid scaring the children, but in truth, I simply wished to experience the walk the girl had taken that day.


    Commoner¡¯s daily life looked strange to me. Walking up and down streets carrying things. Wouldn¡¯t it be easier to move everything at once using a carriage or atleast a cart? I shook my head at the thought, it wasn¡¯t my place to say what made sense here. Instead I took in the sights as I rounded the corner to Plum street.


    It was only a moment before I reached the orphanage. It wasn¡¯t very large. Perhaps the size of a country house, but with 3 floors, it still looked quite imposing.


    As I stepped on the paved path toward the front door. Two girls came through the door. I immediately recognised Silika and froze.


    The girl was happily chatting with her friend as they made their way toward me, seemingly unaware of my presence. It wasn¡¯t until they were only a few feet away that Silika¡¯s friend noticed me.


    ¡°M-My lord! W-What b-b-brings you here?¡±


    I suddenly remembered her, she was the stuttering greeter at the church yesterday. So they were friends after all? Silika also looked up, recognising me she smiled and waved at me. I smiled and waved back. She was dressed differently today, a yellow dress and in her arms was a black rabbit plush. To my suprise, I noticed a Scorn insignia around her neck...


    A very unusual sight to say the least


    ¡°If it isn''t our greeter from yesterday and Silika. I¡¯m sorry young lady, but I never caught your name?¡±


    ¡°C-Coleen, m-my lord. I-I w-w-wi-ish y-you a g-g-great sp-spring festival!¡±


    She said with surprising excitement. Silika seemed just as excited peeking behind me, probably thinking about the festival awaiting for her around the church.


    Not wanting to accidentally make her hate me, I stepped aside.


    ¡°A great festival to you both as well. I will see you later.¡±


    Coleen had a curious expression on her face for a moment hearing my words. Did she pick up on the implications behind my words?


    ¡°As you say my lord. Blessed be.¡±


    ¡°Blessed be.¡±


    Without another word, the two started walking into the busy street. I felt something pull in my chest as I saw their small shape disappear into the crowd, but I told myself I would see her again soon enough.


    I walked toward the main door and knocked.


    A blue-haired boy answered the door.


    ¡°What is it?¡±


    The boy asked in a mefiant tone.


    ¡°Could you fetch me the director of this establishment? I would like to have a word.¡±


    ¡°Do you mean Uncle?¡±


    The boy asked, slightly confused.


    It must be how the children called the person in charge, so I nodded.


    The boy slammed the door on my nose as I heard him down the hallways.


    I guess manners are not a priority in this establishment¡­ It¡¯s a good thing I¡¯m not in a particularly aristocratic mood. This incident alone would be enough to earn the boy a day on a pillori... If not a notch on the ear or cut off the tip of his pinkie.


    I would do well to warn ¡®Uncle¡¯ that not all nobles are so forgiving.


    Not a minute later, a man rushed to the door. He was young, no older than myself. Probably much younger actually. His long white hair was tied behind his back and sweat was pooled on his brow.


    ¡°Welcome, my lord! What brings you to this place?¡±


    The man said with a smile, but I could tell from his short sentence that he was out of breath, probably having rushed to the door after the message from the blue-haired boy.


    After all, it was unusual for a noble to visit an establishment in the lower quarters. Now. How should I approach this conversation? Should I get straight to the point¡­? or maybe I should build a positive rapport first?


    ¡°I wanted to discuss the possibility of sponsoring your establishment.¡±


    This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.


    He looked surprised.


    ¡°Is that so?!¡±


    His voice betrayed his utter confusion.


    Maybe that wasn¡¯t such a good opener after all¡­ It was customary to give a favour to get something from a merchant or another noble, but perhaps not from a simple commoner?


    ¡°Well, yes¡­ Amongst other things¡­¡±


    I said, trying my best at an innocent smile.


    ¡°...Why don¡¯t we continue this conversation in my office?¡±


    The man said with a confused smile.


    It wasn¡¯t much of an opener after all, but I¡¯ll take this as a victory.


    He opened the door fully and guided me through the hallways.


    This place was truly packed with children¡­ They ran up and down the hallway excitedly. Some of them left the building in a group just as we entered. Probably heading to the festival where Silika and Coleen had been heading to.


    Children everywhere¡­ Lilica would have loved it here...


    We finally reached the office. The man offered me a seat in front of his desk while he sat down on the opposite side.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Delian Blaine. The kids here call me ¡®Uncle¡¯. I am the director of the orphanage. May I ask who you are?¡±


    He looked more composed sitting behind his desk. It did give him a dignified look to be sitting behind such a large and busy desk. Despite his young age and disheveled clothing, he truly looked like a director now.


    ¡°I am Baron Marshall Ashbrook, first son of Count Eleran Ashbrook of Clotop.¡±


    By Hadesusme


    The director looked stunned for a moment, before bowing his head.


    ¡°It is a pleasure to meet you, count apparent. What can this common man do for you today?¡±


    He lifted back his head and looked more nervous than ever. Perhaps it wasn¡¯t the smartest introduction. Too intimidating. Baron would have been enough.


    I should try to relax the atmosphere. I looked around the room and noticed a well stocked library.


    ¡°Quite an impressive collection.¡±


    I said while pointing at the shelves with my chin.


    Delian looked in the direction and smiled.


    ¡°Children are full of questions. I¡¯m a director as well as an educator. It is my solemn responsibility to fulfill their curiosity.¡±


    He didn¡¯t seem to be annoyed by this. In fact, he looked satisfied. Like a man who had found his purpose in life. An enviable position.


    Delian paused for a moment, as if lost in thoughts, before turning to me.


    ¡°Do you have any children, my lord?¡±


    His question was innocent, but immediately, I felt a pit in my chest. A hollow whistling echoed through my heart. I tried to appear unbothered, but I must have failed.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. I shouldn¡¯t have asked.¡±


    He said, looking genuinely sorry for his question, but I shook my head.


    ¡°Don¡¯t be. It is in part the reason that brings me here today.¡±


    He suddenly perked up, probably remembering that this was no mere social chat.


    ¡°Ah yes, so about that... What can I do for you?¡±


    Suddenly my seat felt too stiff and my shirt too tight. What am I being so nervous about? Is this a mistake? No. No, I¡¯m just getting anxious, it¡¯s fine.


    ¡°I¡¯m looking to adopt a child.¡±


    He blinked a few times. As if registering the information before nodding.


    ¡°If I may be frank, my lord. We don¡¯t often have adoptions in this facility. Most of the children that come here are cases that require a lot of attention, I¡¯m not sure you will fin¡­¡±


    I waved my hand, cutting him off.


    ¡°I am aware of the details regarding your orphanage. I had a report drawn on the facility. I¡¯m aware of the relation you have with Septenary church, and your expertly handling of the children and their education.¡±


    I said while trying to sound as pleasant as I could rather than threatening.


    ¡°And I do not come here, blindly looking to adopt a child. I¡¯m looking to adopt a girl. A particular girl. Her name is Silika.¡±


    The expression shifted again in the man¡¯s face.


    ¡°Uhm¡­ Silika¡­ That is... Well...¡±


    His face contorted in all sorts of manner as if wrestling different emotions.


    "I understand that she''s a sweet looking child, but wouldn''t you consider adopting another child instead?"


    He finally asked me, making me raise an eyebrow.


    "I wouldn''t consider adopting a child in the first place if it wasn''t for her."


    I simply retorted. His lips pursed slightly.


    "You see, my lord. Silika is not what I would call a typical child. Even by my standards."


    I gathered he meant she was unusual, even for an orphan, but I shrugged.


    "We all have our differences."


    I simply answered.


    "But my lord she''s¡­"


    "Deaf? Do you think I''m foolish enough to come here without even knowing that much?"


    I said cutting his excuses short. I understood that he had some reservations, but his logic was getting irritating ¡®even by my standards¡¯.


    "No, my lord. I assumed you already knew that much if you knew her name. I was talking about the daymares¡­"


    He said with a complex expression.


    "Daymares?"


    He nodded.


    "Silika is not a typical child. She has gone through¡­ Difficult things. Not only is she deaf as you have already mentioned, but she has suffered tremendously in the past.¡±


    He took a moment and tried to swallow audibly. His throat getting dry. Was it just nerves?


    ¡°Her arms, her legs¡­ Her entire body is covered in countless scars, but that''s not what is important. Her soul is also scarred. Her mind is fractured between the present and the past. The very worst of her past. My lord, can I ask you something? Do you sometimes recall events from the past and the mere thought brings pain to you?"


    At that moment, I recalled Lilica dying in bloodied sheets. I closed my eyes.


    "Every day of my life."


    I answered and he nodded.


    "Silika does too, but she doesn''t simply recall them. She relives them. When the memories occur, she will stop being with us and will simply drop and scream. It''s not to say it happens everytime. She is strong. Unbelievably strong. But at any time, she could break down again. It¡¯s a constant uphill battle, trying to get her to forget her past. Every night she cries in her sleep and wakes up in sweat, screaming. Someone must be with her, at her side. Could you be there? No matter the time of day or night? No matter where?"


    I didn''t know what to say.


    Could I be there? I wanted to be, but could I truly..?


    Suddenly the door flew open and slammed against the wall.


    I turned around and recognised the little girl from earlier. Silika''s friend. What was her name¡­ coleen?


    "U-Unc-c-cle!"


    By Hadesusme


    She looked in a complete panic, her hair was all over the place. Her face was swollen above the brow and her dress was torn around the shoulder.


    The man completely forgot our discussion and rushed toward the girl.


    "What is it, Colie? What happened?


    Understanding that something was going on, I also got up from my seat and walked toward them.


    Coleen was here, but where was¡­


    "I-It''s S-S-Si-li-li-lica!"


    She struggled to say her friend''s name. Tears pooling in her eyes.


    Delian patted the girl''s arm, trying to keep her from breaking down.


    "It''s okay, Colie. Silika. Yes. Silika. What happened to her?"


    I was getting nervous. This isn¡¯t good.


    She was struggling to get the words out as they got caught in her throat.


    "T-T-They t-took her! T-They took Silika..!"

 28. Spring Bloom Festival

    ¡°C-C-Can I¡­. C-C-Can I have t-t-two¡­¡±


    The woman at the stall patiently waited with a crisped smile for me to finish my order.


    She was a neighbor who often came to help out at the orphanage, so I had felt confident talking to her, but it seems my voice didn¡¯t cooperate.


    I breathed in for a moment, before speaking again


    ¡°... S-s-strawberry puffs!¡±


    Yes I got it!


    The lady showed a proud smile before giving me the two pastries. I happily placed one of the festival tokens the church had given us as a reward for helping.


    I turned around and Silika was patiently waiting for me.


    -You talk too much, Jade! I almost starved to death!-


    She signed at me while chuckling.


    I smiled and handed her one of the strawberry puffs. She happily devoured hers as I took my time appreciating each and every bite.


    It¡¯s funny, really. In Silika''s mind, I must be a bubbly word machine. Always talking forever with people, like a chatty granny. What she didn''t notice was the annoyed expression on people''s faces, their impatience and the speed with which they finished conversations so it didn''t have to go on any longer.


    Talking with Silika was different. She would attentively listen to anything I told her and would happily respond. Sometimes, she would even ask me to say things to people for her¡­ She really had no clue about how difficult it was for me to say these things¡­ And I would rather she never did.


    She looked very small in her oversized dress, the large yellow satchel and her plush ¡®Alkie¡¯ tucked in between her arms.


    I assumed that, like the many nicknames she gave everyone, it probably had another meaning, but she never figured out how to sign it.


    -Where to next?-


    Silika asked after having wolved down the snack. I looked around. This festival had many activities, but a lot of them required us to listen¡­ or talk.


    It was too bad since there were a few plays I was interested in.


    Silika also looked around, but being a full head shorter than I, she couldn¡¯t see very far.


    I took her by the hand and we walked through the different stands, looking for something fun to do.


    Eventually I spotted a ¡®Hit the pot¡¯ stall and a puppet show¡­ Could she enjoy that?


    -What do you think, Silika? Should we go for the puppet show or hit the pot?-


    I asked her, but her confusion was visible.


    -Hit the pot? What¡¯s that?-


    And there it was. Silika¡¯s usual cluelessness¡­ It took me sometimes to wrap my head around that one¡­ Probably for the best too.


    At first, I had thought it was only because she had had a sheltered life before she came to the orphanage. In the loose definition of sheltered that is, but over the weeks and months, I came to the conclusion that it was something else.


    It was little things at first. Her mannerism. Her likes, Her dislikes¡­ Before her, I had never met someone who would have refused to eat perfectly good food based on its appearance.


    It was only a few weeks before her baptism that I understood. The way I figured it out was simple really; her choice of books.


    Every Time she had to pick a book to study reading, she had always picked the few that used holy script, a more advanced version of our alphabet. At first I just thought she liked their look better or something like that, but when Uncle drew a crown to explain that this was a script used by the church and aristocrats, her face had turned dark. It only only took a few minutes for her to go into panic, gasping for air on the floor¡­


    At that moment I learned two things: Silika used to be a noble¡­ And I shouldn¡¯t ever ever mention it to her.


    I did ask Uncle about it, but he had remained evasive. He only answered once I openly told him I thought Silika was a noble.


    He made me promise to never tell anyone, for her safety.


    I had asked if she was being hunted, but he denied it, saying that everyone thought she was dead. It was mostly to avoid her becoming an outcast among the other kids.


    Although that had happened regardless just from her condition¡­


    -It''s just a game where you throw a¡­-


    Just as I was signing an explanation, I caught a glance of someone staring at us from the side.


    I turned to face him and recognised him immediately.


    "Y-You ag-g-ain!"


    In front of me was a man. More exactly a city guard. It wasn''t our first encounter. The first time was at the market just a few weeks ago. He had cornered Silika and tried to take away. Luckily I arrived in time and was able to get her away from him, but it wasn''t the last time I saw him. I had also seen him skulk around a few times.


    "I t-told you t-to leave us a-alone!"


    I pulled Silika close to me and started backing away.


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    It was broad daylight and there were tons of people. There¡¯s no way he would¡­


    I felt something hard behind my back.


    "Haaahaaaaaa!!!"


    I heard a strange scream from Silika.


    I turned around and noticed that another guard had already taken grip of her. He yanked her toward him and slung her onto his shoulder in one swift motion.


    "W-What d-d-do y-y-you¡¯re d-d¡­.!"


    I heard a mocking voice behind me.


    "W-W-we''re d-d-doing? Dumb as a rock, aren¡¯t you girl? You''ll find out soon enough."


    The mansaid as he grabbed me by the shoulder.


    I pulled myself away, ripping my dress. His grip had been strong and I could feel some blood leaking down my arm. His glove had probably gotten caught on my skin.


    "Stop being difficult! Just come with us and we''ll sort it all out nicely!"


    The man said in a threatening tone.


    I started sprinting toward the church to get help, but realised there was another guard blocking the way. I looked back and saw Silika struggling helplessly on the man''s shoulder. Crying incomprehensibly while punching his back. The festival goers around didn''t seem to know what to do. Probably because the men were city guards.


    I''m sorry Silika¡­ I need to go get help....


    I turned right and started running toward the orphanage. Something hit me on the side of the head and sent me tumbling.


    "Careful! They''re kids! Not thugs! They can''t talk if they''re dead!"


    I rolled on my back quickly and figured I had been hit with the handle of a spear.


    I continued rolling, got to my feet and just ran. I heard them screaming as they chased after me. Luckily, I was small enough to run through the crowd and the people were none too keen to do the guards work.


    I kept my head down until their scream grew quiet. I turned the corner and kept running until I reached the orphanage.


    Some kids were blocking the entrance and I just shoved them aside. I sprinted down the hall.


    Please be there¡­ Please be there¡­


    I burst through the office door.


    "U-Unc-c-cle!"


    I screamed as I entered the room.


    I noticed there was the nobleman from earlier also in the office, but it wasn''t the time to think about that.


    Uncle jumped from his seat and came kneeling right in front of me.


    "What is it, Colie? What happened?


    He asked.


    There was a smile on his face, but he looked tremendously worried.


    Oh gods what happened? How do I explain this?


    "I-It''s S-S-Si-li-li-lica!"


    Damn it, mouth! Stay still!


    Get the words out! It''s important!


    I could feel my eye tearing up and a ball growing in my throat.


    No! I can''t cry now! It''s too important


    "It''s okay, Colie. Silika. Yes. Silika. What happened to her?"


    I took a deep breath. I need to tell him. I need to breathe. I can''t cry right now, Silika needs me


    "T-T-They t-took her! T-They took Silika!"


    Uncled hugged me tightly as I started crying.


    I didn''t want to cry, but I couldn''t hold it anymore.


    He released me and looked me in the eyes.


    "I know you''re scared right now, Collie, but I need you to be strong and tell me exactly what happened."


    I nodded as I tried to calm my crying.


    "I-I-It w-w-w-wa-wa¡­."


    Deep breaths, Collie. Deep breaths.


    I took a big gasp of air before releasing it.


    "I-It was at t-the f-festival. I w-was t-talking t-to S-S-Sili-lika and t-the g-guards t-took her and tr-tried t-to take m-me."


    I mustered to say before the tears took my voice again


    Hare frowned.


    ¡°The guards? Why would the guards go after her¡­?¡±


    He asked openly.


    Think Coleen, think!


    ¡°M-M-Maybe h-h-her¡­ F-F-Family?¡±


    I said, still trying to calm my tears.


    He shook his head.


    ¡°Impossible.¡±


    I fell to my knees crying my lungs out. What is going to happen to Silika!? It¡¯s all my fault. I couldn¡¯t protect her...


    The man behind him suddenly spoke up.


    ¡°What did you mean by talking to Silika? I was under the impression that she couldn¡¯t hear or say anything.¡±


    He asked. His tone was dry, but I felt compelled to answer.


    I worked through the tears and mustered two words.


    ¡°S-S-Sec-cret l-lang-guage¡­¡±


    I then did a few signs with my hands saying the same thing.


    The man looked toward Hare for more explanation.


    ¡°It¡¯s a book I found. It teaches hand signals that can be used to communicate. We learned it together to talk with Silika.¡±


    Hare explained as he rubbed my back.


    ¡°Show it to me.¡±


    The man asked dryly.


    ¡°My lord, I must beg your pardon, but there¡­¡±


    ¡°Show it.¡±


    He ordered, cutting any chance for rebuttal.


    Hare stood up and fetched the book from his desk and angrily placed it into the noble¡¯s hands. Probably because he was wasting precious time that could be spent looking for Silika.


    I started drying my tears and getting back on my feet.


    The man didn¡¯t even open it before his eyes grew wide.


    ¡°Where did you get this?¡±


    The nobleman asked.


    ¡°I found it at a used-book salesman at the market.¡±


    Uncle said while shrugging.


    He looked angry at the man, but there wasn¡¯t much he could do against a noble. The nobleman ignored him and started walking toward the door in a hurry, book still in hand.


    ¡°Where are you going with that!¡±


    Uncle grabbed the nobleman by the wrist.


    I gasped by reflex and covered my mouth. This was a capital offense! Raising your hand against a noble would at best see his offending hand severed and at worst sent to the headsman.


    ¡°Silika is under my care! If she¡¯s in danger, it¡¯s MY duty to protect her and be there for her.¡±


    The nobleman looked Uncle in the eyes for a moment before sighing.


    I suddenly got the impression that this man was actually worried about Silika¡­ And didn¡¯t care about the offense caused by Uncle.


    He relaxed his countenance and gently moved uncle¡¯s hand off of him. Uncle, probably understanding the gravity of what he had just done, did not resist, but still glared at the nobleman fiercely.


    The nobleman showed us the book cover.


    ¡°There¡¯s one thing the girls got right about this little book. It is for a secret language. The tongue of Solomon¡­¡±


    Uncle¡¯s eyes grew wide at this revelation, but I felt confused.


    ¡°Solomon? Why is that a problem?¡±


    I asked the two of them.


    Uncle hesitated to explain, looking guilty, so the nobleman turned to me.


    ¡°The Solomon tongue was devised by Solomonkin scoots. It¡¯s to allow them to communicate with people when their heads are elsewhere... Since then, it¡¯s use has spread as a mean to quietly communicate information.¡±


    The nobleman said, sighing again.


    He looked aguard and tired, but there was anger behind his golden eyes.


    ¡°In other words, it¡¯s the secret language of spies and assassins.¡±

 29. Of Kin and Mann

    ¡°What do you mean you can¡¯t say?¡±


    I asked the garrison captain.


    ¡°My apologies, Baron Ashbrook, I cannot currently deny or confirm that this was a garrison intervention. This garrison only deals with district affairs. If this was at a hig¡­¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t care about that!¡±


    I cut him dryly.


    ¡°Right now there¡¯s a six year old out there who was taken in broad daylight! I need you to either tell me where the garrison took this girl or I need you to get off your ass and find who impersonated these men!¡±


    After leaving the orphanage, we had rushed to the stalls at the church where Coleen had said Silika had been taken. I had my driver go alert the authorities and get my people at the estate working on the matter. To my annoyance, a single guard was dispatched who only took a few statements, refused to answer any question before wordlessly heading back.


    Angered by this, I headed for the garrison myself while Delian and Coleen gathered as much information as they could and waited for any words from my estate.


    ¡°A report has been drawn up and my team is investigating the matter. All there is for you to do is wait. We will find her in due time.¡±


    I bit my lips. Something¡¯s wrong with this conversation. The captain¡¯s voice is too stiff and detached. His tone has too much certainty. It isn¡¯t confidence or lassitude. It¡¯s knowledge. This man knows something and simply refuses¡­ Or can¡¯t tell me.


    ¡°Then please send word to my estate as soon as there¡¯s any development.¡±


    I said before turning my back to the man and heading out of the building.


    I made my way through the crowd back to the church. I spotted Delian and Coleen now joined by what looked like a panicked cotton ball.


    ¡°What do you mean: ¡®They took Silika¡¯?!¡±


    I heard her say as I approached them. I recognised her. She was the Fey kinsmann from yesterday.


    ¡°Felicia! I¡¯m sorry, but please focus. Did you hear anything about guards arresting or taking someone away during the festival? Did they let you know about it in advance or anything at all?¡±


    I saw her tremble at these words, obviously she was quite shaken by the news. She stuttered for a few seconds before throwing her hands up.


    ¡°I don¡¯t know! I heard a few people got escorted out for being too rowdy, but no kids being kidnapped in broad daylight! Who do you take me for?!¡±


    I cut in before the conversation devolved into a fight.


    ¡°I just came back from the garrison. I think a gag order has been issued, they wouldn¡¯t tell me anything.¡±


    ¡°A g-g-gag order?¡±


    It was the young girl, Coleen, asking. She had insisted on coming along, claiming she could be useful as a witness.


    ¡°It''s military jargon. An order to keep silent about a specific individual or thing.¡±


    I explained quickly. Although Delian nodded knowingly, I could tell from his expression that this information was just as new to him.


    ¡°So what do you say we do now?¡±


    Delian asked.


    It was a dire situation. We could try waiting it out, but this was risky. Having been part of the kingdom¡¯s military, I was all too aware of the treatment of prisoners. Even more so if the crime they were suspected of would warrant a gag order¡­ She was a child, so they might go easy on her, but it wasn¡¯t something I was willing to gamble on. We need to find her and fast.


    ¡°Kinsmann Felicia, Director Blaine, you seem troubled.¡±


    A monotone voice said.


    I turned around and was surprised at the sudden arrival of a tall kinsmann. The man had short dark hair and golden eyes. He wore a long dark robe with an embroidered mantle.


    ¡°Bishop Feldor!¡±


    Felicia exclaimed.


    ¡°It¡¯s a pleasure to meet you again, your excellency.¡±


    Delian exclaimed before bowing to the man followed by Coleen.


    An action which I quickly copied. Bishops were one of the highest forms of authority of the church. They had supreme religious authority over the domain to which they were assigned to and could lead armies against heretics in time of strife.


    The capital city housed many churches, but when a septenary was erected, it was far from unusual for higher members of the clergy to make it their parish. After all, the opportunity to cooperate with kinsmann of other heritage was a rare privilege. Bishops were men and women worthy of respect, yet this man simply waved aside our greetings with a single nod.


    ¡°We¡¯re looking for a missing child, your excellency, but there are some complications.¡±


    I started explaining.


    ¡°A missing child? One of yours I imagine?¡±


    He asked while turning to Delian who nodded gravely.


    ¡°It¡¯s Silika. She was taken in broad daylight.¡±


    The Bishop, Feldor, did not show any emotion on his face at this news, but somehow I could tell he was perturbed by this news in the quick movements of his eyes.


    So he knew Silika¡­


    ¡°And you speak of complications?¡±


    Delian nodded at the question and looked at me.


    I cleared my throat and explained  the situation at the garrison. When I finished my explanation he looked pensive for a moment before looking up at me.


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    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, I didn¡¯t quite catch your name sir¡­?¡±


    ¡°Baron. Baron Marshall Ashbrook. Son of Count Ashbrook of Clotop.¡±


    I answered.


    ¡°Mmh.. Yes I¡¯ve met your father. Some 8 or 9 years ago, and you were¡­¡±


    ¡°Leading troops against the Heillhs empire.¡±


    I confirmed.


    ¡°Yes, it all comes together. Your presence here must mean you have yet to take your place at the head of the county?¡±


    ¡°Correct.¡±


    I answered before continuing.


    ¡°But I think we have a more important topic to discuss, don¡¯t we?¡±


    I tried to stir back the conversation to the issue at hand, but he simply shook his head and carried on.


    ¡°What we need right now is information from someone within the garrison chain of command. I don¡¯t suppose you have any garrison commander in your entourage.¡±


    I shook my head.


    ¡°After the war, I¡¯ve¡­ Been focused elsewhere.¡±


    He glanced at Felicia for a moment who simply tilted her head with a smile.


    I couldn¡¯t tell what their silent conversation was, but he simply nodded and moved on.


    ¡°Then I have no choice but to elevate the matter. Kinsmann Felicia, would you be so kind as to fetch a carriage?¡±


    She nodded and quickly headed to the side of the church.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, your excellency, but can I ask where you¡¯re going?¡±


    Delian asked him. He was obviously a bit put off by the side tracked conversation.


    ¡°We are going to the Scorn cathedral.¡±


    Momentarily, Felicia came back  with a carriage and driver. Felicia had to stay at the church as she was in charge of the festival, and so Delian made arrangements with her to go take care of the orphanage if he was too late getting back, while Bishop Feldor went and fetched some things from his office.


    Seeing that the young girl still accompanying us was getting restless on her feet, I helped her onto the carriage and took a seat as well.


    Although she had remained quiet most of the time, I knew we couldn¡¯t just send her back to the orphanage quite yet. She was our only witness and the only person who could identify the kidnappers with certainty.


    Sitting in the dark cabin, she stared at the empty seat in front of her for a moment. She had a sad and guilty expression on her face. I wanted to tell her it wasn¡¯t her fault, but before I could say anything she started sobbing uncontrollably.


    Some instinct took over me and I immediately crouched in front of her.


    ¡°Hey! Hey! It¡¯s okay! It¡¯s okay! We¡¯ll find Silika, don''t worry.¡±


    ¡°I-I-I-I¡­ I-It¡¯s m-m-m-m-y f-f-f-fault! I-It¡¯s a-a-a-all m-m-m-my f-f-f¡­¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not your fault. You did all you could!¡±


    I said, trying to sooth her in vain.


    ¡°I-I-I-I sh-sh-should ha-ha-ave s-s-s-s-stayed. I-I-I sh-sh-sh-sh¡­ I Sh-should hav-v-ve pr-pr-pr-pr-pr¡­¡±


    She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.


    ¡°I sh-should h-have pr-protected her.¡±


    I could tell that there were a lot of things she meant to say. Hateful things. Mostly aimed at herself. I knew that feeling.


    Every time I close my eyes, I can see Lilica¡¯s face. The tears streaming down from her gorgeous silver eyes. Her confused and pained expression as she looks at me helplessly as I hold her. The blood stained the sheets where we sat as it dawned on us that our daughter was no more. I could remember her skin turning pale, her eyes growing weak as she stared at me, begging me to save our child, to save her. I remember her last breath on my cheek  as she told me one last time that she loved me¡­


    But this isn''t about me. It¡¯s about the girl in front of me. Coleen. A 8 year old girl whose friend was just kidnapped in front of her eyes.


    ¡°Coleen.¡±


    At the mention of her name she looked up. It was probably surprising to her that I even bothered to memorise her name. She probably only saw me as another austere and proud nobleman.


    ¡°You did EXACTLY what you had to do.¡±


    I might not be versed in childcare, but I was versed in the art of war.


    I put my hand on her shoulder like I had done to many of my men before.


    ¡°You were outnumbered and outmatched. If you had stayed and fought, you would also have been taken and we would never have known what happened to you girls. You didn¡¯t run away. You retreated and called for reinforcement.¡±


    I then put my other hand on my chest.


    ¡°We are the reinforcement, and I give you my word that you, me, uncle and everyone else will bring Silika back safely.¡±


    She rubbed her face as tears continued streaming down and took deep breaths. She put her hands down, closed her face and took one last breath, before opening them again and looking at me.


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    She simply said.


    I smiled.


    ¡°Okay.¡±


    I pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to her so she could wipe her face. It was starting to become a habit, but then again, I didn¡¯t normally have a habit of making young girls cry.


    Delian and Bishop Feldor finally arrived just as Coleen calmed down and the carriage departed.


    The ride was silent for a while. After all, we were almost all complete strangers. Only acquainted out of circumstances, so I tried to initiate some conversation.


    ¡°Your excellency, but I am curious. How exactly do you know Silika?¡±


    Although it was meant to be an icebreaker, I was legitimately curious, and to my surprise a slight smile cracked at the corner of the bishop¡¯s lips.


    ¡°During the Septenary baptism ceremony, she was the only child who came to me to receive her Scorn blessing.¡±


    He said with a certain amount of pride much to my surprise. It¡¯s true that Scorn was not a very popular baptism choice, especially for children, but to have only a single child amongst hundred was nothing short of disastrous for a god¡¯s following.


    ¡°Pardon me if this sounds rude, but isn¡¯t the Church of Scorn worried about such a small number of new baptised children?¡±


    I asked him to which he simply shrugged.


    ¡°Firsland does not have a particularly strong Scorn followership, but if you head east to Morrow and Avlir, you will find a much greater presence. Furthermore, many of our followers are converts who have reached adolescence or adulthood. Our goddess¡¯ teaching allows the confused and lost to redirect their emotion, this is rarely necessary for a child of baptism age.¡±


    He simply explained.


    I had only once travelled outside of Firsland in my life, so I couldn¡¯t tell if what he said was true, but I had heard that other kingdoms were vastly different from what we might imagine¡­ But his last comment caught my ear even more.


    ¡°If it¡¯s rare for a child to request a baptism from Scorn, then do you know why Silika decided to?¡±


    ¡°Oh! I k-kn-know!¡±


    Coleen exclaimed.


    We turned to her. She still looked chagrined, but her expression was better. Her stuttering also seemed much less pronounced. Perhaps it was tied to her mood?


    ¡°Sh-Sh-she t-told m-me that b-b-bishop F-f-feld-dor r-rem-m-mind-ded h-er o-o-o¡­ O-of A-alkie a-and G-g-g-gled-die¡±


    ¡°Children¡¯s minds are truly curious.¡±


    Feldor commented, yet he didn¡¯t look bothered by the fact that his goddess was chosen by mere luck.


    ¡°Alkie and Gledie? Who are they?¡±


    I asked Coleen.


    ¡°A-Alkie i-is h-her b-b-bunny p-p-pl-pl-plush! Sh-sh-she a-a-always c-c-carries it w-with her.¡±


    I did remember her carrying a stuffed animal with yellow and black colours. Now that I thought about it the similarity was quite funny, but I kept myself from chuckling.


    ¡°And Gledie?¡±


    I asked her.


    ¡°I-I-I-I d-don¡¯t r-r-re-rea-really k-know. S-s-someone f-fr-from b-before t-the o-orph-phanage. Sh-she d-d-doesn¡¯t l-like t-t-talking about it, b-but s-sometime sh-she talks ab-bout G-gledie.¡±


    She looked downward as she said that, as if she was hiding something, but I didn¡¯t want to make her upset again, so I didn¡¯t press on.


    ¡°Speaking of Ashbrook, I was wondering. How do you know Silika?¡±


    Bishop Feldor asked.


    I instinctively glanced at Delian, but this one simply stared back. I didn¡¯t really know where the line stood at, but lying to the man of god, even if not my god, felt wrong.


    ¡°I am planning on adopting her as my daughter.¡±


    There was a shocked silence in the carriage.


    ¡°W...W-Why..?¡±


    Coleen asked.


    Her question, reflecting my own confusion.

 30. Speaking up

    It didn¡¯t sound like a question, more like a statement of confusion, anger, happiness¡­ A fusion of emotions that couldn¡¯t be expressed in words.


    ¡°It¡¯s¡­ Complicated.¡±


    I said hesitantly.


    The fact was, I hadn¡¯t fully sorted my emotions on the matter yet. Did I think this through properly? Was it driven by selfishness? Did I only do it to have an heir? Could I truly care for her like a father? Could I really be a good father? What of Silika? Would she even want me as a father?


    All I knew for sure in my mind, is that this was something I needed to do. My mind had been frozen over right until the moment I had met her, and now the thought of continuing on without her¡­


    No.


    There was no other way. The moment I met her, I knew she was my daughter. I felt it in my bones. In my soul.


    ¡°When I saw Silika at the service yesterday, it¡¯s as if my world stopped. The torment that haunted me, all became quiet at once. I don¡¯t know how to explain it¡­. I just know that I need to do ¡­ No¡­ That¡¯s not right... It¡¯s the only thing I know that this is what I want to do. I want to see her grow up and become better than I ever will be. I don¡¯t want her to live in sadness and regret like I did.¡±


    I tried to explain. It was truly difficult to explain something without matter or substance; something as abstract as feelings.


    ¡°I u-understand.¡±


    To my surprise, Coleen was the first to say something.


    ¡°S-silika is my b-best friend.. Sh-she ha-has a b-b-bad t-temp-per, sh-she f-fights a l-l-lot, a-and sh-she can be v-v-ver-ry s-s-stuborn, but sh-sh-she¡¯s a g-g-good p-p-person. W-when I¡¯m g-getting b-bullied, sh-she¡¯s the first to jump into a f-f-f-fight. She a-a-always knows w-when I¡¯m s-s-sad. She n-never asks or s-say mean t-things to others even if they s-say mean t-things t-to her. I w-want h-her to b-be hap-p-py, b-but I d-don¡¯t k-know h-how.¡±


    Coleen looked up to me.


    ¡°W-would she b-be happy w-with y-you?¡±


    That was the question wasn¡¯t it? Is it the right thing for Silika. Would she be happy staying at the orphanage with kids her age who have similar struggles, or would she be happier with me?


    Before I could try to answer the question, we reached our destination.


    ¡°Let¡¯s go.¡±


    Feldor declared.


    He left the carriage followed by Coleen. I was about to follow suit, but Delian held me back by the shoulder. I turned around and faced him.


    ¡°Would she?¡±


    He simply asked. Staring straight into my eyes.


    I looked at him unwavering.


    ¡°I would put my life on the line to make sure she is.¡±


    Delian nodded and we followed Feldor inside the church.


    The main hall looked rather empty. After all, it was already late afternoon and not a worship day, but we could still see some kinsmann going about their business. Feldor guided us through a large corridor that led to a large spiral staircase decorated by large murals depicting the lives of Matriarch and Patriarch of Scorn since ancient times. I wasn¡¯t familiar with most of them as very few churches bothered with the stories of other gods, but as these individuals held the highest rank within a church, many of them had had country if not continent spanning influence.


    As we reached the top of the stairs we entered a large domed room. It was easily as large as the church''s main hall. Hundreds of Kinsmann walked about or sat around tables scattered around discussing topics that a layman such as I couldn¡¯t begin to comprehend.


    It was easily forgotten, but the church''s primary purpose after protecting the population from heretics was not to teach worship. Kinsmann dedicated most of their time to the research of blessings and what could be achieved with them.


    Only in these sacred halls could people experiment with their blessings with impunity without the risk of becoming ferals. They were the ones who brought the most advancement to technology and the use of blessings. Many now common household items were first devised in halls like these before being made available to craftsmen who could then use their own blessings to make them.


    This was one of the main reasons why Septenary kinsmann were so highly regarded as they were some of the few individuals who could work with the blessings of other gods in order to create otherwise unthinkable inventions. Well, there and the College, but the College could only be called ¡®safe¡¯ in the loosest form of the word. There was a very good reason it had made residence in Marshland.


    Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    We walked through the halls and reached a large ornate door on which Bishop Feldor knocked.


    It took a few moments, but eventually a black haired woman cracked open the door and glanced at us with a bored expression.


    ¡°The Archbishop is not taking any visitors at the moment.¡±


    Her eyes then drifted toward Delian, Coleen and I at the back.


    ¡°... And definitely does not have time to give his blessing on a mismatched couple. As the church has officially stipulated multiple times, we recognise the blessing of the Purple Veil on the union.¡±


    I felt my brow twitch and I could see Delian quietly fuming at my side, but somehow maintaining a polite crooked smile.


    The bishop, as always, remained unfazed. Likely due to the inappropriate comments being aimed at someone else.


    ¡°We are not here for such inane purposes. Tell Archbishop Kin Mericcia that Bishop Feldor has come on urgent business. His ear only. Is that clear, kinling?¡±


    It was her turn to twitch. Although not an insult per say, kinling was the lowest rank within the clergy. Often given to children recently having entered the folds and definitely not the rank of an Archbishop assistant.


    She almost snapped back, but I saw her grit her teeth and nodded. She closed the door and we heard footsteps walking away.


    Suddenly I thought back on what Feldor had just said and something stuck out to me. The name of the Archbishop. Did he say ¡®kin¡¯ Mericcia?


    ¡°Your excellency, when you said Kin Mericcia, you didn¡¯t mean as in¡­¡±


    I started asking, but was interrupted by the door opening once more.


    This time the kinsmann opened the door completely.


    ¡°The Archbishop will see you now.¡±


    Unable to finish my question, we followed the assistant across the small office on the other side of the doorway to yet another door that led into a large room where the Archbishop waited, standing behind his desk.


    The first thing that struck me were his eyes. Instead of circular pupils, his were shaped like two swords parrying each other. His skin was a pale shade of blue and his hair long and black. Most strikingly, the left side of his jaw was covered in a dark metallic contraption. When he moved his head toward us, the contraption moved in unison with the rest of his face.


    I had heard Feldor right. The Archbishop was a pure-blooded kin of Scorn.


    ¡°Feldor. To what do I owe the honour?¡±


    He said while presenting the chair facing him to Feldor, but the Bishop politely refused by shaking his head, prefering to stand. Probably as to not unwittingly exclude us from the conversation.


    ¡°The honour is all mine Kin Mericcia.¡±


    ¡°Nonsense!¡±


    The Archbishop responded with a chuckle as he took his seat.


    ¡°Be it as it may, I don¡¯t assume this is a social visit? You¡¯ve also brought with you quite the diverse cast of characters.¡±


    He said, as he observed us.


    I could immediately tell that this man had been a soldier before. It wasn¡¯t his stance or way of speaking. It was his eyes, going over each and everyone of us. Analysing, searching, strategising. Nothing could surprise a man like this.


    His eyes stopped on Delian, as if to ask him to speak up.


    Delian cleared his throat.


    ¡°Greetings your eminence. I am the director of the orphanage on Plum street. Earlier today one of my children was taken in broad daylight by members of the garrison¡­¡±


    The archbishop¡¯s eyes immediately darted to me.


    ¡°And I assume they denied the allegations.¡±


    He said rhetorically, but I nodded nonetheless to confirm his suspicion.


    ¡°Any clues as to why?¡±


    I nodded yet again and took out the Solomon book Delian had showed me.


    ¡°Silika, the kidnapped child, is deaf. Coleen here and her communicate exclusively using the Solomon tongue. One of the guards involved in the kidnapping has apparently harassed the girls over its use in the past. I believe they may have flagged the girls as a potential spy.¡±


    The archbishop flipped through the pages of the book for a moment before nodding and handing it back to me.


    ¡°An ingenious use of the language. I¡¯ll commend Mister Director on the decision, but it is indeed a problematic language of its own.¡±


    He then finally turned to Feldor.


    ¡°And so, can I respectfully ask you, Feldor, why did you deem it appropriate to seek my help in this matter?¡±


    The Bishop cleared his throat.


    ¡°I administered the girl¡¯s baptism just this winter. She is my ward. After having taken into account the situation with the garrison, I estimated that the matter was beyond my ability to remedy. It was my logical conclusion that only with your guidance can I find her swiftly and successfully.¡±


    The Archbishop leaned back on his seat, crossing his arms on his chest.


    ¡°And so, by your logic, every missing farmer is Alenia¡¯s burden to resolve?¡±


    He replied dryly, raising an eyebrow.


    ¡°If it were up to me, it would. For I will not be trampled; I will¡­¡±


    ¡°Fight those who seek to abuse. Yes, yes.¡±


    The Archbishop let out a long and tired sigh and closed his eyes for a moment.


    He stood up from his chair and faced the window behind him as he looked deep in thoughts. He nodded to himself before heading back to his desk and swiftly writing a note and sealing it on the envelope.


    ¡°Seek out this man. He will help you. You will find him at the Blue Palace.¡±


    He wrote a name on the envelope before quickly sealing it using a nearby candle.


    He handed the letter to Feldor and I caught a glimpse of the name written on the envelope.


    ¡®Chief Justice Milray Vilger¡¯


    I had never heard of the council position before, but for some reason the name stuck out to me.


    Milray Vilger¡­ Where had I heard this name before?

 31. Stone floors

    I woke up face down against a cold surface.


    My memory felt foggy¡­ Where Am I?


    As I slowly opened my eyes, I immediately noticed that I was laying down on a stone floor.


    My heart instantly started racing in my chest. A surge of energy ran through my entire body and I jumped to my knees and started walking backward, away from whatever the blur that still clouded my vision hid in front of me. My back roughly hitting against the wall behind me.


    It¡¯s finally happening, isn¡¯t it? I¡¯m back. Back at the estate.


    The ball was growing in my throat and I couldn¡¯t control the muted wheezing from escaping my lips.


    How did they find me? Had they known all along and simply waited for an opportunity to kidnap me so they could hurt me again?


    It became difficult to breathe as the panic set in. It felt as if I was choking on the air around me. I tried to grasp for Darkie, but he was nowhere to be found.


    I was alone.


    I blinked rapidly, trying to see where they were hiding in the shadows. Those blue eyes¡­ But to my surprise, I wasn¡¯t in my room as I had expected. Instead, I was in some kind of Iron cage within a larger room. Through the gaps of the iron bars blocking the way, I could see lanterns hung on rock walls.


    I was finally able to steady my breathing.


    [It¡¯s alright. This isn¡¯t the estate. Just another stone floor. Another stone floor.]


    I repeated to myself over and over again.


    Slowly, my beating heart also grew quieter inside my head and I was able to breathe and think normally.


    So, if this isn¡¯t the estate, where am I?


    I tried to recollect the events that had led up to here. I was at the Spring Bloom Festival with Jade¡­ And then someone grabbed me¡­ Then it becomes blurry again¡­


    I approached the iron bars to have a look. Beyond, I could see two more cage-like areas with iron bars. I also noticed a man sitting on a chair beside a metal door.


    His head turned toward and I backed away, afraid he would come for me, but he simply looked at me for a moment before saying something toward the door. He stood up and carried a chair and table to the center of the room. He then came for the door of the cage and opened it. As he did, I retreated to the back, but he simply picked me up by the collar of my dress and dragged me into the main room.


    He sat me on the chair facing the table and the door. He went back to his seat beside the door and waited. It felt painfully long to sit on the stiff wooden chair, but I was afraid that if he got up he would hit me so I stayed still.


    Eventually, the door opened and two people entered. They were dressed in the garbs of Firsland¡¯s knights, but instead of the usual royal blue colours, their uniform was a muddy grey. One of them was a young woman with golden hair kept in a short ponytail, while the other was a silver-haired man with stubble for a beard. At first I thought I was being saved, but then the woman sat in front of me and I understood I was their prisoner.


    She placed a large sack on the table from which she pulled a pile of paper and placed them in front of her along with a quill and ink bottle.


    She looked up and finally met my eyes.


    Her expression was neutral. Not angry nor happy. As if emotions were a foreign concept to her.


    She asked me something and waited expectantly for a response. Unsure how she would react, I simply remained silent. She asked something else, but I still kept quiet. This went on for a while and every time she asked something, she wrote something down on the paper in front of her.


    I couldn¡¯t help wondering what she could possibly be writing about since I wasn¡¯t saying anything.


    After a while she put down her quill and raised her hands.


    -What is name?-


    The woman signed to me.


    Surprised it took me a moment to react. Apart from Jade and Hare, I had never seen anyone use the secret language.


    -Silika-


    I responded, but she looked surprised.


    Did she not expect a response?


    -Repeat words.-


    Her siging looked clumsy. It looked like she wasn¡¯t very familiar with the symbols. Maybe she was still learning? I repeated slower.


    -Si Li Ka-


    I spelt once more for her, as slowly as I could to which she nodded and took notes.


    -Family?-


    I felt a weight being lifted from my shoulder. If she was asking, that meant that she was not sent to take me back to the estate¡­


    I better keep it that way so I shook my head.


    -Family name?-


    She insisted.


    -I don¡¯t know what it is.-


    I told her a white lie. I actually couldn¡¯t spell it, so putting it into symbols was impossible. Hare had once mentioned he could teach it to me, but at the time I had been more surprised that he knew my complete name at all so the focus of the conversation had shifted to that.


    But it looked like my answer annoyed the woman. She wrote something on her piece of paper. Maybe she knows I¡¯m lying after all?


    I was about to clarify that I simply couldn¡¯t spell it, but she started signing again before I could.


    -Where were you sent from?-


    Sent from? Did she mean where I came from? Afraid of her reaction if I gave another white lie, I honestly answered.


    -Salland.-


    Lucky for me, one of the few subjects I had started studying since I learned the secret language was geography, so I could tell her that much¡­ But my answer displeased her.


    -Don¡¯t lie.-


    I felt confused and angry from her accusation.


    -I¡¯m not lying! I was born in Salland!-


    I rebuked.


    It¡¯s rude to assume people are liars! She stood up from her seat angrily and slammed her hands on the table making me jump back. The chair tilted back dangerously, but I was able to catch myself before falling to the floor.


    -I no ask where born! I ask where sent from! Who give you work?-


    Anger flashed in her eyes, but she seemed to realise her outburst was excessive and sat back down on her seat.


    What can I answer? I don¡¯t work yet so I don¡¯t know¡­ Maybe she meant something like why I was at the church or at the festival¡­?


    -I live at the Plum street Orphanage. I help kinsmann F¡¯?? for the Spring Bloom Festival. That¡¯s all.-


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    I tried to explain, but she continued tapping her finger angrily on the table.


    -Kinsmann give this?.-


    The other knight dug through the sack and pulled out my yellow satchel.


    -No, it was a baptism gift.-


    I simply answered.


    -What¡¯s name?-


    This was much before I could sign and so I had never learnt the name of anyone I had met before spring.


    -I don¡¯t know.-


    -You don¡¯t know who give?-


    Now that she was saying it, it was a bit rude not to know their name¡­


    -I don¡¯t know his name.-


    The conversation was obviously very tiring for her. I remembered when I had just started I used to feel exhausted only a few


    -Do you want to take a break?-


    I innocently asked her, but this seemed to anger her greatly.


    -You take break when I say you take break!-


    I gripped my hands together. She looks very scary when she ¡®s angry.


    -Where keep secret word?-


    She said as she opened the bag.


    Secret word? Did she mean the secret language? What did she mean by where do I keep it? Did she mean the book?


    -I already know the secret language. I don¡¯t keep the book.-


    She looked confused


    -What language?-


    -The one we¡¯re speaking now.-


    I tried to explain, but it seemed to irritate her. Was she having a hard time saying what she meant?


    -No not talk ???n language. Talk secret words on paper. Where keep things in bag?-


    I was extremely confused about what she was trying to ask. Her sentences made no sense to me. She was angrily showing me the bag.


    -Where are secrets in the bag? How give secret words?-


    -I keep all my things in the main pocket right¡­-


    As I tried to point at the entrance of the pouch, she slapped my fingers.


    [Ouch!]


    I held onto my bruised finger.


    -No touch. Only words. That is rule for you.-


    She said, but I felt confused. Why wasn¡¯t I allowed to touch my things? They were my things¡­


    She took the bag and emptied it on the table. From it tumbled down on the table my things and amongst them Darkie.


    [Darkie!]


    I was about to grab him, but the woman raised her hand menacingly. I retracted my hands and she picked him up by the ear.


    -Careful!-


    I said as she handled Darkie roughly flipping him around, but she ignored me. She put him down on the table and swiped everything to the side. She said a few words to the man at the door who nodded and left the room. She stood up and walked around the table standing right beside me. In front of me still stood the silver-haired knight who looked on calmly, scrutinising me with his blood-red eyes.


    What was happening now? Why did they stop asking questions? Why is everyone standing and looking at me? Where did the other man go.


    My heart was beating so strongly that I thought I might stop breathing right there and then. The woman placed her hand on the back of my chair, right behind my head. I held my breath, trying to be as small as possible, but it was a vain hope.


    After what felt like an eternity, the guard returned and in tow a man in ragged merchant clothes. The man looked completely out of it. His face was swollen and red. He could barely stand without the help of his captor.


    He was made to sit on the chair facing me. The silver-haired man stood right behind him, holding the man¡¯s shoulder so he wouldn¡¯t fall from the chair. The woman yelled something at the broken man, but he didn¡¯t move.


    The knight behind him grabbed him by the hair and forced his head up.


    I gasped. The man¡¯s face was so swollen, he could barely open his eyes. His jaw hung half open and I could tell several teeth were missing. His nose was bloody and looked like a pudge of putrid yellow and green colour. I suddenly felt nausea take over me. His face¡­ It looked like my skin back then. How could they do that to him?


    She asked the man a question, but the man didn¡¯t react immediately. The knight behind him slapped the back of his head roughly and this sent a shiver through his body. His eyes lazily looked up and locked with mine.


    The woman repeated her question. He kept looking at me. Tears streamed down his face. He slowly shook his head. His jaw followed the movement of his head like a broken puppet.


    There was nothing in his eyes. Only pain and sadness.


    The woman turned to me and signed.


    -Did he give yellow bag?-


    Uh? Give me the bag. I looked at the man and finally recognised him. Despite his roughed up appearance. l remembered him. He was the man wearing a velvet coat at the orphanage the night of my baptism. Had he been the one that gave me the yellow bag? I coudln¡¯t really remember, but it was likely.


    I nodded at her question and almost immediately, the knight behind the man smacked the merchants face into the table.


    I let out a scream and tried to look away, but the woman gripped me by the shoulder and forced me to watch as the man¡¯s head was lifted once more.


    Bloody chuck oozed out of the man¡¯s face and nose and I felt my stomach turn.


    Why are these people doing this over a bag?


    They asked him something again. This time, his jaw moved slightly, but he had barely made a full syllable before his head was once more shoved into the table.


    I was forced to watch as tears started flowing from my eyes. I felt confused and scared. Why do they hurt him like this?! Are they going to do the same to me?


    When his head was raised once more, his eyes were upturned as if he was looking inside his own skull. A moment later, he started convulsing violently.


    Unable to hold it anymore, I hurled on the ground beside me. I would have fallen if the woman hadn¡¯t painfully kept my shoulder in place.


    The silver haired knight put his hands on each side on the man¡¯s head and slowly the convulsion stopped and the merchant slumped into his chair, eyes closed.


    I watched in horror from the other side of the table. Did he just kill him?! To my relief I saw the man gasp for air, but his eyes remained closed.


    He was picked up from his chair by the door guard and roughly tossed into one of the cages. The woman circled back to the front and sat in front of me.


    -What mission he give? How give information?-


    She signed as she signaled to the collapsed man.


    -I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re asking me. I only met him once!-


    I tried to explain, but it seemed she understood the wrong thing.


    -You admit you met him before?-


    -Yes, but it was only once at the orphanage!-


    She arched her brow.


    -Did orphanage say to give bag to you? Does orphanage also have mission?-


    What is she saying?


    -No! He just gave me the bag! He came to the orphanage and just gave it to me as a gift!-


    -So you only one with bag?-


    [Why does it matter!]


    I couldn¡¯t help but scream in frustration. I tried to compose myself before continuing to sign.


    -Yes, he only gave the bag to me.-


    This woman is insane! Ragging on bag this, bag that! Beating people because they gave someone a bag!


    Slowly she reached to Darkie once more, holding him by the ear.


    -Did he give this too?-


    -No! That¡¯s mine! Give it back-


    I signed before trying to climb over the table to take Darkie back from the mean woman, but she simply pushed me backward, making me fall off my chair onto the stone floor. The rough stone scorched my knees and left painfully red and bloody streaks.


    I tried to keep myself from crying, but the tears had started flowing a long time ago. I looked up at the knight angrily. Why were they doing this? What did they get from it?


    She stared at Darkie intently, swinging him from side to side. Weighing the ears with her fingers. Suddenly she took out a dagger from her belt and started bringing it toward Darkie.


    [No!!! Don''t¡¯ do that!]


    I screamed.


    She turned to me once more.


    -If not here, where secret? What mission? How give information?-


    -There¡¯s no secret! There¡¯s no mission! There¡¯s no information! Please just¡­-


    She stopped looking at me and started cutting the stitching.


    I felt a throb in my head. It bounced in my head making me sick. The pain made my vision blurry.


    [Stop that!]


    I screamed as I stood up on my wobbly leg.


    Her knife stopped in his track. She looked at me for a moment and smiled. Without breaking eye contact, she ripped Darkie¡¯s head clean off.


    [Ah¡­ Ahhh¡­¡­ AAHHH! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!]


    I started screaming uncontrollably.


    My vision started spinning. The woman¡¯s blue eyes had stopped looking at me and now stared with macabre interest at the decapitated remains of Darkied. She dug her finger into his body and roughly ripped away his stuffing.


    The world slowly got darker in my eyes. I fell to my knees as I gagged on every breath I took. The shadows and colours around the room started twisting and curling. The woman¡¯s golden hair slowly turned a shade of pink.


    She looked up at me, but her face had changed.


    It was my mother¡¯s.


    All I could do was scream in horror.


    She had a horrible rictus on her face, her blue eyes starring at me with pure hate as she dug her long fingers into Darkie. I threw up once more on the floor and continued screaming.


    [Please stop! Please stop!]


    I tried to speak, but simply couldn¡¯t stop screaming. I tried to sign, but my body wouldn¡¯t listen to me anymore.


    I watched as the stones of the floor turned to marble and the walls into wallpaper.


    I felt the ground tremble.


    The steps.


    They were coming.


    I am back.


    I am really back.


    Or maybe, I had never escaped in the first place.


    My vision grew dark as my silent screams continued leaving my mouth under the heinous expression of my mother.


    The world around me vanished and I was left in the void.

 32. The Red Herring

    ¡°I can¡¯t believe this shit!¡¯


    The man cursing was Chief Justice Vilger, also known as Count Milray Vilger of Grey Ridges.


    We were rushing through the corridors of the Blue Palace, home of the Judicial wing of the Kingdom¡¯s government.


    ¡°Counterintelligence my ass! Nutjobs all of them! Taking kids from the gods damned streets!¡±


    It was only a few minutes ago when we had met him  by chance while heading toward his office with a signed missive from Archbishop Kin Mericcia. Up until that moment, it had eluded me that the same man with whom I had fought side by side during the battle for Khaln Fortress had since taken the role of Chief Justice.


    After delivering him the missive, we explained the situation to him. The more we told him, the stranger the shade of red and eventually purple he had turned. Not out of embarrassment, but of pure rage. Evidently, the story had struck something in him and he was now on a warpath.


    ¡°Thank you, Vilger. Your help is tremendously appreciated.¡±


    I managed to slip between two of his outbursts of anger.


    He nodded while continuing to forge ahead. He gave whatever paperwork he was still carrying to a passing knight, who dared not argue with the new charge before turning his head toward me.


    ¡°You have to forgive me Marshall. This shouldn¡¯t have happened. They are supposed to be under my supervision, but so is half this forsaken kingdom! I swear, when I get those lunatics¡­¡±


    We reached the barrack and Vilger picked up a sword from the weapon stand. He examined it for a moment before looking satisfied and sliding it inside a sheath that he then tied around his waist.


    ¡°Isn¡¯t that a bit excessive?¡±


    Bishop Feldor asked.


    The trip to the Blue Palace had been a lengthy one and the girl, Coleen had fallen asleep. Dalien had then stayed back in the carriage with her until our return while Feldor accompanied me to give credibility to our missive.


    Vilger snorted at the Bishops question.


    ¡°You may want to stay here then, your excellency. These men are the very definition of paranoia. They are just as likely to pull a sword on their own as they are at actually pulling it on the enemy. Professional deformation if you take their word for it¡­ Insanity if you take mine.¡±


    He offered us swords as well. Feldor declined, but I accepted. The dagger currently tucked in my belt wouldn''t do me much good against trained soldiers if it came down to it. We headed out through the back door and reached the stables.


    As we walked toward the horses, Vilger gave a few words to a coach boy before sending him on his way toward the palace.


    We entered the cabin startling the sleeping pair awake.


    ¡°Where are we heading?¡±


    I asked Vilger.


    ¡°Calvas garrison.¡±


    He said loudly enough for the driver to hear.


    ¡°...can''t wait to see their faces when they hear their headquarters location has been leaked.¡±


    He mumbled as the carriage departed.


    ¡°I apologies for the disrespect, but I must ask: are we absolutely sure that this is where Silika is held?¡±


    Feldor questioned.


    It was an unfortunate doubt, but he was right. Although the man looked sure of himself, the information we had come to Vilger with was at best circumstantial and at worst half-baked conjectures. His certainty was nothing short of surprising.


    ¡°I guess that would be confusing to civilians, wouldn¡¯t it? Well, lets put it this way, I¡¯ve now been chief judge for the kingdom for 4 years. In that time, many cases have crossed my table and so, there are normally three possible culprits for this sort of kidnapping.¡±


    He lifted a finger


    ¡°One, slavers or brigands. Prey on isolated victims. Young kids are not a prime target unless they are nobles¡­¡±


    I felt Delian twitch at my side.


    Odd...


    I should ask him about it later.


    ¡°...Or a special order for clients with¡­ Unusual tastes.¡±


    Coleen looked around confused, but no one in the coach dared meet her inquisitive stares.


    ¡°Broad daylight and crowds is not their modus operandi. A guard outfit would be a bold choice of disguise, but they would get caught at the next checkpoint. So, possible, but unlikely¡±


    He lifted a second finger.


    ¡°Two, by the book arrest. If she was suspected of a crime¡­¡±


    ¡°We didn¡¯t do anything bad!¡±


    Coleen exclaimed.


    Vilger simply smiled at the outburst.


    ¡°I know sweetheart, I¡¯m speaking of theoretical¡­ I mean ¡®what if¡¯ scenarios.¡±


    That was surprisingly smooth. Did Vilger have children himself? It would explain why the situation angered him so.


    He cleared his throat once more.


    ¡°As I was saying, this could have been a case of a simple arrest, but then her guardian would have been informed in the quickest delay.¡±


    He looked half-hazardly between Delian and I.


    ¡°I wasn¡¯t told anything.¡±


    Delian simply said as he shook his head.


    Vilger lifted a third and last finger.


    ¡°And this brings us to the last option. The counterintelligence squad. They are the kingdom¡¯s invisible line of defence and the prime reason why this kingdom has survived the test of time for over two millennia. They would even be praise worthy if they weren¡¯t complete sociopaths.¡±


    He rubbed his temples.


    ¡°Due to the importance of their task, they answer directly to the king. They can make unsanctioned arrests if they have any reasonable suspicion that the person is acting against the nation. Emphasis on reasonable. As I¡¯ve mentioned, they are the very definition of paranoia. If they could have one of their men standing in every house, in every room of every house of every city in Firsland, they would. As I, or any of my predecessors, would never allow for it, they instead use a tremendously unreliable network of informants¡­¡±


    He finally looked up before leaning back on his seat.


    ¡°Which brings it to how ¡®I know¡¯ they are responsible. It¡¯s simple really. Although they can make any arrest they deem necessary, they have to act in tandem with the local garrison and the local garrison will only answer to me. I was aware of an operation meant to be held in the lower district today, but I wasn¡¯t told the details¡­ And now they¡¯ve gone and crossed a line.¡±


    As he finished his sentence, the coach came to a stop.


    ¡°Alright we¡¯re here. Ashbrook, with me. The rest wait for us outside.¡±


    I nodded and we exited the carriage, but Delian followed in our footsteps.


    ¡°I¡¯m coming as well.¡±


    He announced decisively.


    ¡°It might be dangerous in there. You should wait here and¡­¡±


    I tried to explain but he cut me off.


    ¡°Neither of you know how to handle Silika. If she sees you alone she might panic, it could be dangerous¡­¡±


    There was something  in his voice, a strange lack of emphasis on who would be in danger.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be coming as well then.¡±


    The Bishop announced as he stood from the coach silently followed by the girl who probably didn¡¯t want to be left alone in the cart.


    ¡°Well invite the whole damn royal family, why don¡¯t you!¡±


    Vilger said in an exasperated voice.


    Stolen story; please report.


    ¡°Alright. Ashbrook; stick close to me, as for the rest; stay ten paces behind us.¡±


    He turned toward the door once more.


    ¡°Let''s go.¡±


    Vilger pushed the door open and a startled clerk stood up.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but I¡¯m going to have to ask you to leave this is a¡­.¡±


    ¡°I know gods damned well what this is.¡±


    Vilger cut the man off before pulling something from his breast pocket and showing it to the man. It was a coat of arms adorned with the symbols of the kingdom¡¯s royal council.


    ¡°See this thing here?¡±


    The clerk stood up from his chair.


    ¡°My lord! I didn¡¯t know we should be expecting your visit!¡±


    ¡°Of course you wouldn¡¯t! That¡¯s why you¡¯re part of the *counter*-intelligence squad not the intelligence squad!¡±


    The man had a confused look on his face.


    ¡°Don¡¯t try to get this one, son. You¡¯ll burn whatever¡¯s still hanging between your ears. I need directions. Need to relieve someone from your custody¡±


    ¡°Of course, my lord. If you could take a seat while I¡­¡±


    ¡°Did I ask for you to get me something? I asked for directions.¡±


    He cut again dryly. Vilger looked at me, expecting me to say something which I could easily guess at this point.


    ¡°We¡¯re looking for a young girl, around 5 or 6. Pink hair and golden eyes.¡±


    The clerk sat down defeated. He looked through his manifest.


    ¡°Yes, we had an arrival matching this description, but sir I must insist that¡­¡±


    ¡°Where?¡±


    The clerk let out another defeated sigh.


    ¡°Down the hall. Take the stairs and turn left¡­¡±


    ¡°Good boy! I¡¯m sure your master will give you a bone.¡±


    Vilger walked off without another word. As we left the entrance, I could hear the whimpers of the clerk.


    ¡°I hope I don¡¯t get court martialed for this¡­¡±


    We started down the stairs but as we rounded the corner, we heard a loud howling sound echoing through the hallway.


    ¡°It¡¯s Silika! Quick!¡±


    Dalien yelled from behind me.


    We ran down the stairs and toward the screaming sound. It didn¡¯t take much effort to find the door. The screaming was so loud that even the door was shaking on its hinges.


    ¡°Open the door! We have to stop her before she hurts herself!¡±


    The Bishop yelled above the noise.


    Confused, but understanding the gravity of the situation, Vilger kicked the door in. On the other side a woman and a man were bickering around a table while a guard lamented as he held his head.


    ¡°Shut her up! Shut her up!¡±


    The guard yelled while leaning on the bars of a prison cell.


    ¡°Shut your mouth I need to find it! It has to be somewhere in here¡­¡±


    The woman screamed as she dug through something on the table.


    The Silver-haired man beside her noticed us as he tried to cover his ears.


    ¡°Hersia!¡±


    ¡°What do YOU want n¡­.¡±


    As his partner turned toward him, she also noticed and  faced us. Her face was deformed by a pained rictus as she tried to withstand the deafening noise of the screams. In her hand was a torn up bunny doll. It was the same Silika had had in her arms this very morning. She drew a dagger from her belt, but I instinctively struck and disarmed her by slicing the back of her hand. She fell to the ground screaming, holding her injured limb.


    At that moment I noticed something on the table. A pool of blood.


    I had seen many of them before, but this time it felt¡­


    My knees felt weak for a moment. Images of bloodied sheets and Lilica¡¯s tearful face surfaced in my mind. I caught a glimpse at my own sword stained with blood and dropped it in fear. I almost fell to the ground, but luckily Vilger was there to catch me as he held his ear with his other hand.


    Delian looked in my direction worried for a second before looking beyou the table.


    ¡°Sh¡­ She¡¯s here!¡±


    I looked up.


    Silika was there.


    Screaming, howling.


    Her eyes were wide open, but staring off to nowhere. Tears streamed down her face as horrible and painful screams escaped her unnaturally wide open mouth.


    ¡°Move!¡±


    The Bishop pushed his way through the crowd and kneeled down in front of SIlika. He placed his hand on her face and started mumbling something. I couldn¡¯t hear the words, but I guessed it was some kind of prayer. After a few seconds, the screaming finally stopped.


    ¡°Silika!¡±


    Coleen rushed past us and went to check on her friend. Silika had been rendered unconscious in Feldor¡¯s arms.


    ¡°What was that?¡±


    I asked Feldor who was now carrying Silika in his arms. She looked very peaceful, asleep in his arms. She looked completely unharmed to my relief. The blood on the table mustn¡¯t have been hers¡­ But looking at the scarlet pool still made me feel sick.


    ¡°It¡¯s her blessing.¡±


    Delian mentioned as the Bishop check over the girl, placing his hand over her forehead. He looked up at me.


    ¡°Silika¡¯s blessing is unstable. Because of her condition, she hasn¡¯t learnt how to regulate the connection between her emotions and the blessing and can¡¯t regulate it. Her inability to distinguish reality from her imagination causes her fear and anger to go out of control which causes those flare ups.¡±


    Bishop Feldor explained.


    ¡°That¡¯s nice and all, but who the hell are you people and how did you get in?!¡±


    It was the grey-haired knight who had finally recovered from his stupor. The woman, on the other hand, was still moaning in pain as the guard laboriously wrapped her injury in bandages.


    ¡°Oh! Forgive me.¡±


    Vilger scoffed before turning toward him.


    ¡°I must have forgotten to introduce myself. I am Count Milray Vilger, Ch¡­¡±


    ¡°Chief Justice. Yes. OF course. No one else would be able to barge in here that way. You know, despite your responsibility as head judge of the kingdom; it doesn¡¯t give you a right to police it.¡±


    Someone said from the doorway.


    I turned around in time to notice a dark green haired man. Dark circles highlighted his pink eyes and his mouth looked like a slit along his face giving him a strange snake-like appearance. His uniform was similar to the other  two knights, but he wore a gold-trimmed cape and several insignia on his collar.


    ¡°Always good to see you, Vilger.¡±


    The man continued, to which Vilger only responded with an annoyed grunt.


    The man¡¯s eyes turned toward Silika, still in Feldor¡¯s arms. They then shifted to the knight who was now standing engarde at his superior¡¯s arrival.


    ¡°I assume this is the girl from the report I received earlier?¡±


    The strange man asked.


    ¡°Yes My lord! My informant told me that¡­¡±


    ¡°Your informant?¡±


    The man said, staring unblinking at his underling.


    ¡°You don¡¯t have informants. I have informants. You have acquaintances. Remember that before you make a decision or there won¡¯t be a next time.¡±


    The knight bit his lip, humiliated.


    ¡°Yes, Sir.¡±


    The man¡¯s eyes shifted toward me. He examined me. Evaluated me. I suddenly noticed that his head had never moved once. HIs eyes moved around the room like a snake considering his preys.


    ¡°Baron Marshall Ashbrook. A pleasure. I was informed of your intention to take a ward. MY apologies for this¡­ Inconvenience.¡±


    The blood froze in my vein. He knew? Only members of my household would have possibly known that. Vilger was right, these people were dangerous¡­ And they were everywhere. But something stuck to me. If he knew I wanted to take a ward, was it too far-fetched to say he would know whom? Was that the extent of his knowledge, or was the fact voluntarily ignored? Most troublingly, if the mission landed on Vilger¡¯s desk, it must have meant this man approved of it. What did this man want with a deaf girl? Surely he knew better than this.


    ¡°Can I assume this whole ordeal is an unfortunate misunderstanding then?¡±


    Vilger asked sarcastically.


    ¡°Not quite.¡±


    The man finally broke eye contact with me and approached the cell on the right of the room and leaned against the iron bars.


    ¡°See this specimen?¡±


    I looked into the prison cell and realised it wasn¡¯t empty. A motionless man laid face down on the ground.


    ¡°Mister Calvian?!¡±


    Delian exclaimed, seemingly recognising the man.


    Things were coming together in my head.


    ¡°Indeed. Or atleast, that is the identity you know him under. His real name is Ai¡¯Vec Neiman. A Moreti spy. He made a name for himself as a fur merchant who did business with the East. A convenient alibi to justify his impromptu disappearances.¡±


    He turned his eyes to Delian.


    ¡°Your orphanage, amongst a few other organisations, provided a perfect opportunity to garner goodwill from the affluent of our society. After all¡­¡±


    His eyes shifted to me once more.


    ¡°Only those with the means have enough time to spend on charity.¡±


    I felt my blood boil at his jab, but before I could say anything his eyes shifted once more to Delian.


    ¡°Using these connections, he left a paper trail. A red herring if you will, alluding to a child he used to gather and move information.¡±


    He then turned toward the table where a yellow satchel laid. It was familiar somehow.


    ¡°He allegedly gave the child a special bag which had a special pocket to hide information, but, as is now pretty obvious, there are no such pockets and there was not a single bag given, but instead a total of 17 throughout the city to children aged 6 to 16. If any of the kids were to be taken in, he would know we were unto him and he hoped the confusion created would allow him enough time to escape the country, but he was wrong.¡±


    He pushed himself off the cage and went to stand by the door.


    ¡°We nabbed him three days ago as he tried to flee the city, but somehow, it eluded our two soon-to-be-suspended-knights that once we had the spy, that a simple interrogation on terrain would have been more than enough for dealing with so many young suspects. The only saving grace in all this is that they only had the time to bring in this girl and not all 17 children.¡±


    The man concluded with a shrug before looking spitefully at the knight on the floor whose monas had now turned to pitiful whimpers.


    I suddenly regretted not having cut her hand clean off instead, but the very thought made me feel woozy so I cleared the thought.


    ¡°So. Can we leave?¡±


    I asked the man.


    His lips parted into a stiff smile and he  moved aside to indicate the door.


    I let Feldor, still holding Silika, leave first, closely followed by coleen who was holding her unconscious friend¡¯s hand. Delian picked up the remains of the plush. Perhaps he thought he could salvage it. Vilger didn¡¯t say a word, but gave a meaningful glare to the man.


    After having let everyone out, I tried leaving myself but the man extended his hand, stopping me from leaving.


    ¡°I would suggest that you hasten your pace. The clock is ticking and your time is almost up. Who knows what else might come between you and your ¡®precious daughter¡¯?¡±


    I looked into the snake¡¯s eyes. This man knew a lot. He knew that there was more to my decision, more than I would ever be willing  to admit, but at the same time he knew nothing. He saw people as cogs in a machine. Animals with selfish needs.


    ¡°I¡¯ll keep that in mind.¡±


    He squinted his eyes, probably to make his smile look more genuine before lifting his arm. I crossed the threshold and was about to leaved, but he called out to me once more.


    ¡°Oh, forgive me, I must have forgotten to introduce myself.¡±


    He said in a whistling tone.


    I turned to him. He stood there, hand extended and frozen expression. I reluctantly took his hand.


    ¡°Aarvis Paranam. A pleasure Lord Ashbrook.¡±


    I Felt my eye twitch.


    I knew the name. In fact, most people in the kingdom and beyond knew the name. He was the hero of the boiling sea, the general of the battle for the Khaln Fortress, and now he was the peeping eye of Firsland.


    Aarvis Paranam, Marquess of Heed and the brother of the Queen.

 33. Spring in Oblon

    It had been a long winter in the Oblon County Estate.


    After Silika¡¯s disappearance, there had been a lot of movement in the household.


    At first, the Marquess had been dismissive of the entire affair, seeing it as one less problem to deal with, but despite his best attempts, it had been impossible to keep rumors from spreading like wildfire.


    Some rumors claimed Silika had been kidnapped or assassinated by a rival house or by the church, while other rumors were closer to the truth believing that her own family had killed her.


    It was an awkward situation.


    On one hand the household wished to find Silika to maintain their standing amongst their peers, but on the other, if her excommunication was discovered, they would also lose their standing.


    The investigation was slow for these reasons, but they eventually picked up the breadcrumbs I had laid. A fallen tree just before a bridge crossing the Alenia river and track veering off. They found the wreckage of a coach and the corpses of horses and a driver.


    The same coach that just happened to have been observed speeding by the estate the night of Silika¡¯s disappearance.


    They never found her of course, but it was assumed that her body was swept by the current before the scene was discovered.


    The investigation was called off under the guise of not wanting to incite political unrest over the ¡®accidental death¡¯ of one of the younger children of the household. After all, Silika would have been third in line to inherit the house, there was nothing tragic about her death from a dynastic point of view. The truth was, whoever might have committed the crime, had actually rendered the Marquess a service.


    Of course, the entirety of the setup had been planned. It had cost me quite the expense to make the coach look like the one of a rival noble house along with finding a ¡®willing¡¯ corpse¡­ Even more so drivers willing to do the job. No one had actually died, save the two horses. The corpse had simply been an unclaimed body I had bought from a morgue on that night which the morgue attendant had been more than willing to part with in exchange of a bit of lining for his pockets.


    After the incident and Silika¡¯s removal from the picture, one might have expected the situation to improve, but that was far from the truth. Something had changed that day.


    It was as if the flame that had once kept the estate warm and lively had been extinguished. It wasn¡¯t only the members of the household. The servants and staff also looked tired and weary.


    I picked up a tray with a bottle of wine and cheese from the kitchen and started walking down the hallway.


    At some point or another, my house arrest had been lifted, unfortunately, the events had brought unwarranted attention to me from the entire household. It was no longer possible for me to get away with doing minimal work, and therefore, I was often put on the evening service shift where I would bother the least amount of people.


    I carried the tray through the cool marble hallways from the core wing, to the living quarters of the family. As I walked toward my destination, I stopped in the hallway. I looked at the wall and observed the strange creases in the walls.


    Once this had been her room.


    Silika¡¯s.


    After her disappearance, the lord would allow none to enter the room and so, it was eventually decided that it should be sealed permanently. They removed the handles and covered the entire section of the wall with wallpaper.


    Rumors amongst the staff claiming Silika had been a witch had never run dry and it had been called the witch''s room for a time. Now it was just an impression on the wall where the hastily applied wallpaper bumped and rolled.


    I looked on the opposite side, at the window beyond which the garden stood. Spring had arrived for a few months already, yet the garden had not flowered. As if some divine punishment had been thrown at the entire estate.


    I still think about Silika every day. I had sent her away to a place I had only heard in passing letters. A small little orphanage in a quaint little district of Evergreen.


    Somewhere no one would ever think of looking for her and I prayed every night for her to be well. I had wished to join her right away, but I couldn¡¯t. My disappearance would have been suspicious, someone might have caught on.


    I shook my head, clearing my thoughts and continued walking down the hallway. Eventually I reached my destination.


    I opened the door and entered the study. It was messy. Books and clothes were strewn across the floor and the desk was stacked full with unopened invitation letters. On the balcony, sitting at a small table, was Merilia Everest. My sister.


    I approached her and placed the tray on the table, but she didn¡¯t look at me. Her bright blue eyes stared at the long wavy grasses far in the hills outside the estate. The evening wind blew softly on her face making her unkempt yet somehow dignified silvery-salmon hair bounce on her shoulders.


    I poured her a glass and placed it by her side before bowing silently and excusing myself. Just as I was leaving the balcony, I heard a voice.


    ¡°Do you think I¡¯m evil?¡±


    I looked back at Merilia. Her head had not moved, but her lips were frozen on the last syllable of the word. Her expression was indecipherable.


    ¡°Mistress?¡±


    I asked her in a professional tone.


    She shook her head. She took the glass of wine and gulped it down before serving herself another glass.


    ¡°No, I¡¯m not asking you. I¡¯m speaking to Jace Miller¡­ Or maybe I should call you the name they never allowed you to use; Jace Fauger. My sister.¡±


    She turned her head and looked at me.


    ¡°So I¡¯m asking you. Sister to sister. Do you think I¡¯m evil?¡±


    I looked at her for a moment. Unsure what to do.


    Ah¡­. What the hell!


    Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.


    I placed the tray on the pile of letters on the desk and ripped off the bonnet they forced me to wear while doing service.


    Seeir knows how much I hated that bonnet.


    I walked to the balcony and sat down on the chair opposite her and poured myself a glass of wine. I gulped it down and felt it¡¯s refreshing yet bitter taste trickle down my throat. True quality. It would be hard to find anything better in the whole of Salland.


    I didn¡¯t look at my sister. Instead, I looked at the windswept fields far in the horizon.


    ¡°I think you are the most repulsive human being I have ever met.¡±


    I simply said.


    I didn¡¯t let my emotions leak into my voice, lest I accidentally start screaming at her. She simply nodded and looked at the same horizon as I did.


    ¡°Yes. I think so too.¡±


    She chuckled, but there was no happiness in her tone.


    ¡°It¡¯s funny, you know? Even now I think of her. I worry about her health. I wonder where she might be. With whom she might live with, or what she might be do...-¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s none of your concern anymore.¡±


    I cut her off dryly.


    I knew it was a dangerous way of speaking to her, but I couldn¡¯t bear listening to these kinds of self-deprecating lines. Especially coming from her.


    ¡°You¡¯re right.¡±


    She cleared her throat. Something in her tone slipped a bit.


    ¡°It¡¯s none of my concern anymore.¡±


    I felt a tinge of satisfaction at the reaction. She looked defeated and pained and those emotions on her face brought only morbid amusement to my heart. She looked unwilling to fight back, ready to receive her due justice and yet no one could deliver it to her, and so, I was all too willing to be the one.


    She said nothing more and simply stared on, biting her lips and sipping on the warm tea. I waited a long time for her to say something. Anything, so I could chastise her over it, make her feel horrible, but she remained quiet. I bent forward and looked at her face.


    ¡°Why did you do it?¡±


    I simply asked her.


    Her lips parted for a moment but no sound left them. She looked at a loss for words, I could see a hundred excuses forming on her lips, yet none were good enough to even convince herself. She turned toward me. Her eyes glossy, like an animal facing an incoming arrow.


    ¡°What else could I do?¡±


    She said, almost expecting an answer, but I wasn¡¯t willing to do the talking for her, so she looked down at her feet.


    ¡°It¡¯s not as easy as it looks. I have to love all my children¡­¡±


    ¡°And yet you couldn¡¯t help the one that actually needed your help?¡±


    I asked her angrily.


    ¡°Couldn¡¯t you have visited her? Taken care of her? Fed her? Spent time with her? Loved her for Meiriem¡¯s sake! Isn¡¯t that what you all believe in here? So much for love¡­¡±


    I felt sick¡­ Sick of this place of these people. Maybe I should have just burnt the place down that night. It would have made just as good an excuse and maybe killed a few of these imbeciles.


    ¡°It¡¯s not that simple¡­¡±


    She whimpered again.


    ¡°If¡­ If I had done that. Then my other children would have paid the price for it! Do you know how difficult it was to hide? Hide the reason why Dalton¡¯s hair is slightly too dark. Hide why Ela''s eyes glimmer shades of gold when she stares at the fire? They all have it in their blood, in their soul! All corrupted. The only chance for them to ever live past it is to abide by the rules.¡±


    I gritted my teeth. Was this the best she could come up with? Blaming our Scorn blood?


    She continued with her shameless excuses.


    ¡°How could I stop him? He would have found out! Alfred would have known I was hiding something then! She had to be the scapegoat. The sacrificial lamb for father¡¯s sins. To hide the tainted blood I brought to this family. Any day I could be discovered and it will be OVER. And then what? I¡¯m not just talking about me! Knox, Ela, Dalton¡­ All of us, Disowned and cast away from this tiny little drop in our blood! We¡¯d be cast to the street, forced to starve! ¡±


    ¡°You could have returned to Father.¡±


    Merilia scoffed at my suggestion.


    ¡°Right! As if HE would EVER allow a disgrace like me to enter his household after I had brought shame to the family! Look at you! You¡¯re...¡±


    ¡°Here¡±


    I cut her short.


    ¡°I¡¯m here because he tried to give me a place, despite my ¡®corrupted¡¯ blood.¡±


    She looked away.


    ¡°It¡¯s different. I¡¯m a mother, I have children. You wouldn¡¯t understand what that¡¯s like...¡±


    That woman¡­ She dared to call herself a mother!


    ¡°I think I can understand just fine.¡±


    I said as I put down the glass on the table and stared straight into her eyes.


    ¡°Do you know how much time it was that you left Silika alone? I¡¯m not speaking about after her excommunication or any absurd boohoo story you tell yourself. I¡¯m talking about the time after the incident. It was months before her condition was even discovered. MONTHS! And where were you during those times? Those times when your own daughter couldn¡¯t stand on her own two legs? Couldn¡¯t feed herself? Or when she screamed for your name as she cried herself to sleep? Where were you damn it! I¡¯ll tell you where I was. I was RIGHT THERE WITH HER!¡±


    At some point or another, I had stood up and was now staring down right into her ¡®oh so perfect¡¯ blue eyes. She looked down, breaking eye contact.


    ¡°You¡¯re right. I failed. As a mother. As a wife. As a creation of the gods¡­. A complete utter failure.¡±


    She said in despair as she placed her face in her hands.


    ¡°You don¡¯t even deserve to feel sad for yourself¡­¡±


    I said, but somehow I felt as if I said too much.


    ¡°You¡¯re right. You¡¯re right.¡±


    She stood up from her seat and headed for a cupboard. She took a bottle of liquor from it and poured herself a glass. She offered me one, but I declined. She sat on the cupboard and sipped on her drink for a moment.


    ¡°Look in the drawer.¡±


    I looked at her inquisitively, but her eyes were focused elsewhere. On the bottom of her glass in which she was already pouring another dose of amber coloured liquor. I approached the desk and opened the drawer. Inside were a large pouch and a sealed letter


    ¡°Take it.¡±.


    I picked them up to place them on the desk. Immediately I could tell that the pouch was brimming with heavy platinum coins. Enough to buy several houses. The letter on the other hand, was sealed with the Fauger family seal and remained a mystery.


    ¡°A deed.¡±


    She said between two large gulps of her drink before she poured herself yet another glass.


    ¡°A title and a quaint piece of land in Norland. Far from here. Take it. It¡¯s yours.¡±


    She tried to pour herself another glass but her finger had become slippery from drinking. so much so quickly. She managed to pour just as much of the drink inside as outside of the glass.


    ¡°Please just¡­ Just¡­¡±


    She let herself slip down from the top of the cupboard down to the floor, glass still in hand. Tearing the hem of her dress in the process. She looked at the looping liquid in her hand.


    ¡°Please just make sure she¡¯s happy. I know you can do it. Much better than I ever could.¡±


    She poured one more glass from the bottle before stopping herself. She gulped down what was in the glass before going to drink straight from the bottle.


    I hesitated for a moment. Is this the right thing to do?


    ¡°Don¡¯... Don¡¯t worry about Alfred o-or Father. They won¡¯t even know what happened. I¡¯ll take care of everything¡­ Just¡­ Just leave. Put this life behind you. Be happy with her.¡±


    It was hard to accept, but she was right. There was nothing left for me here. For us here. I took the bag of coins and the letter, and tucked them into the folds of my apron. I walked to the door and placed my hand on the handle and looked back at Merilia.


    The shell of a woman. Drinking her guilt away by the bottle. Her usually serene expression was replaced by a wrinkled woeful look.


    ¡°Thank you¡­ Merilia.¡±


    I said bitterly.


    She simply stopped for a moment and stared at the bottle before taking another swig. She deserved no salvation for her actions... And she knew it.

 34. My Life

    The first thing that came back to me was the ringing in my head and a burning sensation in my throat.


    I tried to open my eyes but they felt dry and sticky, so I gave up. I expected the rest of my body to feel equally uncomfortable, but to my surprise, it didn¡¯t. Just the opposite. I felt as though I was resting on a cloud.


    A light shone on my closed pupils. I turned on myself, trying to gather the energy to open my eyes. To my surprise I felt the comfortable rustling of a duvet as I did. The orphanage only had thick wool blankets, so it hadn¡¯t been since¡­


    A rush of fear ran through my body. I immediately sat up and opened my eyes.


    What waited for me though, was a completely different scene than I had expected. There were no marble floors or blue-white wallpapers. Instead oaken floors and dark green painted walls filled my view.


    An older man was sipping on tea at the bedside. He was older with greying green hair. From his black jacket, burgundy vest and bow tie, I guessed he must have been a servant of sorts to a noble household.


    Why was a servant waiting on me..? Before that, how did I even get here? The last thing I remembered was Darkie being¡­


    [Darkie!]


    I screamed as I remembered what happened to him.


    The butler realised I woke up as he put down his cup of tea and stood from his seat. He smiled and said something that was probably meant to be soothing, but I was too panicked, looking around the room, to pay attention to him.


    What happened to Darkie? Where am I? Who is this man?


    He approached his hand toward my face but I dodged it before glaring at him. I was about to snap at him, but he raised his arms innocently. Probably to show that he didn¡®t mean to hurt me. He took his hand and put it on his forehead as he spoke. Probably explaining the meaning of his action.


    He looked like a nice old man¡­ And this was a nice house after all. I was put in a nice bed and¡­ My clothes have been changed? I am now wearing a flowery white and red sleeping gown.


    These thoughts bounced in my head for a moment and when he approached his hand again, I let him do as he wished. With one hand he gently clasped the back of my head while the other gently pressed on my forehead. It felt cool and refreshing on my still aching head.


    He made an exaggerated frown before taking off his hand. He grabbed a cup of tea from the tea set he had been drinking from just a moment ago. He filled it up and handed it to me. The cup felt warm in my hands and the flowery fumes tickled my nostrils. I slowly downed the liquid. I felt my eyes lose their dryness, the burning sensation in my throat dwindled slightly, and the buzzing in my skull also slowed to a more tolerable level.


    I felt my entire body relax and I closed my eyes for a moment. It¡¯s alright. Everything is alright. I am safe for now. I can feel it.


    When I opened them again, the butler offered more tea and I gladly accepted. As I sipped on the cup, he excused himself for a moment and left the room through the oak door.


    Being alone in the room, I finally had time to take in my environment.


    It was definitely a nobleman¡¯s bedroom. The bed was large and soft, yes, but the room was also spacious. Large enough to accommodate a playroom or sitting area, but it looked like they were in the middle of moving.


    For furnishing there was only a large wardrobe and dresser. These stood open and empty. Strewn across the room were different piles of drapes and sheets as well as packing crates and chests still sealed.


    A large window gave unto the city, from my angle, I could see houses and people walking in the streets in the distance. We appeared to be inside a small estate flanked on all sides by other such estates. Was this the upper district I had heard about?


    I sipped on my tea as I took in the view. After a while, the butler came back and from behind him, Jade rushed in and tackled me into a hug on the bed.


    I hugged her back, relieved. If Jade was here, it truly must mean that I was finally safe. She broke the hug and looked me up and down.


    -Are you okay? You¡¯re not hurt or anything?-


    She asked.


    I shook my head.


    -I¡¯m okay. Just my throat that hurts a bit.-


    She said something to the butler and this one nodded before heading out of the room. It was strange to see her act in such a familiar way with a complete stranger.


    -Where are we, Jade?-


    Jade looked at me and smiled.


    -We¡¯re at Sir ?shb?k home! Isn¡¯t it pretty?-


    -Whose home?-


    I don¡¯t know many people¡¯s name, and this was definitely not one of those I had grown familiar with.


    -The man you met at the church! He also came at the orphanage that day¡­ Ah¡­ I mean¡­ You know¡­-


    The man from the church? The crying nobleman? But why¡­? I was still confused about exactly what had happened. It all seemed like a strange nightmare. One minute I was in the market, then the other I was in a stone room¡­ And now I¡¯m here. In a nobleman¡¯s house. An almost stranger.


    -We looked for you all over the city! We went to see F¡¯?? and then Bishop F¡¯l?r decided to help us and then we met a kin! A real kin! He was the Archbishop of Scorn! Can you believe that? We met the Archbishop of your god! He had blue skin and, and¡­-


    Jade proceeded to throw at me more information than I could process F¡¯??? Bishop F¡¯l?r? A Scorn Archbishop?


    -Slow down, Jade! I don¡¯t understand anything of what you¡¯re talking about! Start from the beginning, but don¡¯t skip the details this time!-


    We then spent a long time talking about what happened yesterday. During that time, the butler came back with a honeyed concoction. He made me drink slowly as I continued speaking with Jade who had also been served a cup of tea. She looked a bit out of her element being served that way, but she took it with stride and nodded thankfully to the butler. This one looked at the quick movement of our hands with no lack of interest.


    He politely interrupted our discussion a few times to ask questions to Jade regarding what the symbol meant which she happily explained to him as he repeated the symbols on his own hands as if to commit them to memory.


    It was peculiar. Hare had offered on several occasions to teach the other kids how to learn our secret language, but they had all refused. Jade being the only exception of course. Now this perfect stranger wanted to learn it?


    Jade¡¯s story was also fascinating. I had never realised that the Scorn Kinsmann I had met the day of my baptism was a Bishop of the church! I was even more fascinated with the descriptions of the Kin Archkinsmann they had met. From her descriptions he must have looked a lot like Scorn herself.


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    -... And then Sir V¡¯l?r slashed the mean lady¡¯s hand and we were finally able to rescue you!-


    As Jade recounted the end of their adventure, I clapped in excitement. It felt like a fairytale where I was rescued by adventurers in shining armor from a dark and dangerous dungeon. All throughout her story, she brings up over and over again the deeds of one red-haired golden eyed nobleman. He reminded me of the Hero from a book that Ela had read to me back at the estate¡­ What was his name¡­ Lionheart! Yeah that¡¯s a good name! I couldn¡¯t help but beam at the idea of Lionheart going on an adventure to fight evil knights and save me.


    -He cut the evil lady¡¯s hand off?!-


    I asked, but she shook her head.


    -No. It was more like a scratch¡­ But it looked like it really hurt!-


    I was slightly disappointed and angry to hear that the person who had ripped apart Darkie had gotten away with just a scratch on the hand¡­ Which reminded me; what happened to Dar¡­


    As I was about to ask, the door opened and I saw Lionheart enter followed by Hare. They both looked relieved to see me awake. Hare approached the bed and hugged me tightly.


    -Are you feeling okay? Nothing hurts?-


    He signed with a worried expression on his face.


    I shook my head and his tense shoulders relaxed. Lionheart smiled and bowed respectfully at me which made me flustered. I didn¡¯t know how I was supposed to react while sitting in bed. He turned to Jade and told her something. She nodded and turned to me.


    -He said he¡¯s really happy that you¡¯re alright.-


    Jade translated for me.


    I bowed respectfully in return. Something seemed to cross Hare¡¯s mind and he started digging in his bag. When he too his hand out, I couldn¡¯t believe what he had between his finger. It was Darkie! He looked a bit different. There were new stitches and the paws were in a bit of a different direction, but it was definitely him!


    [Darkie!]


    ¡°Silika!¡±


    Hare handed the bunny to him and held onto its small body with all my might.


    [I was so scared, Darkie! I missed you! I thought that¡­ That¡­]


    ¡°It¡¯s okay, Silika! I¡¯m all okay now!¡±


    I smiled and wiped away my tears.


    [Yes! You¡¯re okay! I¡¯m so glad!]


    I hugged him for a moment until I felt all my tears dry away. When I looked up again, they all seemed to be talking about something.


    -What¡¯s going on?-


    I asked Jade.


    She hesitated for a moment before looking at Hare who also looked unsure. He said something to the Lionheart and this one answered with a confident nod and some words. Hare turned back to me.


    -There¡¯s¡­ Something we have to discuss with you about, Silika. It¡¯s important.-


    I nodded.


    The room felt a bit tense. Not in an angry or sad way. It was a different feeling, something more decisive. I couldn¡¯t really describe it. Whatever it was, I was ready for anything.


    The butler brought some chairs for them to sit on. Jade grabbed my hand and gave me one of her signature kind smiles. Whatever this was about, she seemed to want to tell me that it was all okay.


    They got seated and the butler stepped out of the room. Hare looked at me, then to Lionheart, and then back at me.


    -You know our friend Baron ?rs?ll ?shb?k before, is that right?-


    He asked as he indicated Lionheart.


    I nodded happily. I had two conflicting images of the man in my mind. I had the image of a hero who had come to my rescue, but also the one of him crying by my side, but somehow, it made me feel closer to him. I had once been the one to be at his side in his time of difficulty and he had come to help me in mine.


    -Baron ?shb?k and I have been speaking¡­ And after careful consideration... I would like to share with you what he wanted to ask of you. It¡¯s a bit sudden, but really it makes sense that it comes up now. I hope you will think about it seriously, but don¡¯t worry! We all care about you so whatever you decide it will be fine!-


    Hare was going in circles. Unsure how to say what he meant, but as I didn¡¯t know what it was all about, all I could do was nod along and smile.


    -He is a very kind man and he really cares about people¡­ About you¡­ When you were kidnapped he¡­-


    Jade interrupted Hare by placing a hand on his trembling finger. She looked him in the eyes and gave a meaningful nod. Hare took a deep breath and went for it.


    My heart was beating hard in my chest. Uncertain of what was coming.


    -Silika. ?rs?ll ?shb?k, the man sitting beside me, would like to adopt you.-


    It felt like a hollow bell had been rung and was now resonating through my whole body. I couldn¡¯t describe what this emotion was. Was it joy? Excitement? Anger? Sadness? Confusion?


    I was at a loss for words and looked at the people around me. Their faces were neither angry nor happy. They were determined. The man I had now taken to call Lionheart bent forward and clumsily moved his finger as he looked at me and talked.


    -Silika, I know we don¡¯t know each other well or for a long time.-


    He gave a quick glance at Jade who nodded to confirm he had properly signed. He continued.


    -But in this short time, you have completely changed my life. I would like to do the same for you.-


    He took a deep breath.


    -Will you become my daughter?-


    I froze and looked at Jade.


    What did this mean? What was happening? Becoming someone¡¯s daughter? Did that mean he wanted to be my father? Could he do that even though I already had a father..? Hare said something to Lionheart and this one nodded, before stepping out of the room.


    -Does that mean you don¡¯t want me to live with you any more?-


    I asked them. I could already feel the tears flooding my eyes again as I tried to wipe them away with my sleeve.


    -NO! No no no no, not at all!-


    Hare signed hurriedly.


    -We just want you to be happy!-


    I looked at Jade for help. I didn¡¯t understand.


    -It¡¯s okay Silika, it¡¯s your choice. Baron ?shb?k really cares about you and he will take good care of you. I think you would be very happy here!-


    She said with a soothing smile.


    -Will you also come live here¡­?-


    She shook her head at my question.


    I felt the tears overflowing again.


    -So I won¡¯t ever see you again?-


    Jade¡¯s eyes grew and she shook her head vehemently while shaking her hands as well.


    -No! Of course not! We will see each other all the time! I will come to play and you can come to play!-


    I looked back and forth between her and Hare.


    -Silika.-


    Hare said.


    -I think you should accept.-


    He signed with a serious look, seemingly at the surprise of Jade. Apparently she herself wasn¡¯t so certain.


    Hare continued.


    -There are a lot of dangers out there. A lot of challenges as well. I thought I could handle them for you all on my own, but after yesterday I¡¯m not so sure. My heart wants to tell you to stay with us, but my head knows that this isn¡¯t what¡¯s right. At the orphanage you will always be at risk of incidents like yesterday and although this time we were lucky, there¡¯s no saying how things could have gone if this man had not shown up in our lives at the moment he did.-


    He seemed to have trouble swallowing his saliva and his brows were sweating profusely.


    -He is a noble. He is strong. He is smart and kind ¡­ Most importantly, he cares about you. Please consider it, Silika.-


    He leaned back in his chair. Seemingly having finished. He stood up and also headed out of the room.


    I looked at the other person in the room.


    -Jade?-


    She had tears in her eyes.


    Unable to say anything, she hugged me tightly. We stayed like that for a long moment. The cool wind blowing gently through the open window.


    She separated from me.


    -Whatever you choose, Silika, we will always be friends. Best friends! Forever!-


    I nodded.


    She smiled and stood up from the bed and also headed out through the door.


    I looked down at Darkie tucked in my arms.


    [What do you think? What should we do?]


    I said as I raised him in front of my face. His yellow button eyes shining in the sun filtering through the window.


    ¡°I think you already know what you want.¡±


    I nodded.


    When they all came back to the room, I was standing in front of the bed still wearing the sleeping gown and holding Darkie in my arms.


    Hare kneeled down in front of me.


    -So. What is your decision Silika?-


    I stared at them one at a time and took a deep breath.


    Deep breath.


    Everything will be alright.


    [ I¡­ ]

 35. The Choice Made

    As I stood in the sleeping hall dressed in a dark red dress, I stared at the bed I had slept in almost every night since I left the estate. The green hitchy blanket covering a prickly straw bedding accompanied by a simple pillow made of burlap and chicken feathers had been my sleeping arrangements for almost half a year and now it was coming to an end.


    An elderly man continued past me to the end of the bed where the chest containing my things stood. He was Lionheart¡¯s butler to be exact although I didn¡¯t like signing the word so I had taken to calling him Stash for his green mustache. He opened it and started going through the content, but I didn¡¯t follow him quite yet. Something was bothering me. Something I had never questioned right up until a few days ago.


    [Did you know about it, Darkie?]


    I asked the black bunny plush in my arms.


    ¡°Uh¡­ Kind of? I did mention that you move a lot in your sleep at night.¡±


    I nodded knowingly. It was something he had mentioned to me in the past, but I never really questioned it and simply chalked it up to a bad sleeping habit, but now it had a different meaning especially in the movemented week I had had since the event of the Spring Bloom Festival.


    Many things had happened. I had learned many things, but I also had many more questions than answers. I didn¡¯t recollect much of the incident in question as I was unconscious for most of it, but I remember quite clearly the events that followed.


    Lionheart.


    He offered to adopt me¡­ No¡­ He asked if he could become my dad¡­.


    And I said ¡®Yes¡¯


    This had me both thrilled and terrified, but I had had very little time to dwell on my emotions. As it turns out, getting adopted is a pretty complicated process. After Lionheart and Hare finished filling out the initial paperwork, it was sent to the church to the Septenary church to be processed. I didn¡¯t quite understand what went on, but there were some complications and the Bishop of Scorn who had done my baptism had to intervene.


    Eventually, they made something called a ¡®Certificate of Baptism¡¯. Apparently, they had already made one for me during the winter, but since I was an orphan they had written ¡®Child of Scorn¡¯ where the parent¡¯s name was supposed to be. The new document had Lionheart¡¯s name: ?rs?ll ?shb?k written on it. There was also a second name, but I didn¡¯t recognise it¡­


    As far as understood, Lionheart wasn¡¯t married, so I didn¡¯t have a new mother. I never got the chance to ask about the second name, but for some reason he had seemed both very happy and very sad when he had seen the names on the certificate.


    Getting adopted also meant that I received a new family name¡± ¡®Ashbrook¡¯. It took me some time to make sense of the symbols, but Jade had helped me understand that it was the combination of the words ¡®Ash¡¯ and ¡®Brook¡¯.


    While the issue had been getting sorted out at the church, we had been coming to the orphanage every day from morning to sun down. One of the main reasons was for Jade to teach Stash our secret language. Lionheart sometimes stayed at his home or accompanied us depending on what paperwork was needed. I don¡¯t know what was going on exactly, but he often had to come to the orphanage just to speak with Hare about different things.


    I, being the main topic.


    This was how I came to learn that the time I had spent in this bed was far from uneventful. Although I couldn¡¯t recall any of it, apparently, every night, I woke up screaming and crying.


    It wasn¡¯t that it made me feel embarrassed that others had heard me cry or anything like that. It simply made me confused and worried about my own state of mind. It made me realise that since I had arrived at the orphanage all those months ago, not only could I not remember a single time I cried during the night, I couldn¡¯t even remember a single dream I¡¯d had. As if my mind had become a void. It was a time where I existed, but wasn¡¯t aware¡­ I cried yet I couldn¡¯t remember anything making me sad. Why was I crying? Why couldn¡¯t I remember?


    I squeezed Darkie tightly. I felt as if I wasn¡¯t in control of myself, of my own mind¡­ It scared me.


    I looked up and noticed Stash patiently looking at me as he waited in front of the open chest. An eternally kind smile on his lips. I looked at the bed one last time before shaking myself out of my torpor and joining him in front of the chest. There wasn¡¯t much. A few second hand change of clothes, some grooming and cleaning tools, and my holy book. I dug through the clothes and found my baptism dress. I looked over it for a moment.


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    Now that I compared it to the clothes that I was wearing now, it looked rather plain. For sure it was cute, but nothing that would make anyone gawk in admiration, yet I still felt an attachment to it. It was the dress I was wearing the day I decided that I would become a kin of Scorn, that I would accept the hatred in my heart and use it for something good. I gave it to Stash who gently folded it and placed it inside a mallet he had at his side. The only other thing I took from the chest was my Scorn holy book.


    Stash confirmed with me that I had taken everything I needed before closing the chest and mallet. As we got up to leave the sleeping hall, Jade appeared at the entrance. She ran up to me and swept me off my feet in a tight embrace. I grumbled and protested, but she kept on going. I relented and hugged her back.


    Once we separated, I looked up at her with a tinge of melancholy and frustration.


    -Won¡¯t you think about Lionheart¡¯s offer again?-


    I asked, but Jade shook her head.


    After the business of the adoption had ended and the dust had settled, Lionheart had extended an offer to Jade for her to become something called a ¡®playmate¡¯. Basically, it would mean she would be able to come live with us and all she had to do was to be my friend¡­


    But she had refused the offer.


    By coincidence, she had also recently received an apprenticeship to become a scribe. It had always been her dream and so she had accepted. Although the apprenticeship would only start in two years when she turned 10, she would have to start attending preparation lessons this fall¡­ So she couldn¡¯t accept both offers.


    I was happy that her dream came true, but there was still a lingering sense of betrayal that she had preferred a job opportunity over me, her friend¡­ But maybe it was a bit selfish of me to think that way. I felt lonely just thinking about not being able to spend my days with her.


    I felt as if I was just about to cry and so I rushed and squeezed her with all my strength as she gently hugged me back.


    By Physhstu


    -We¡¯ll still be best friends, right?-


    I asked her as I wiped the tear that had pooled at the corner of my eye.


    -Of course! I will come play whenever I¡¯m free!-


    I nodded as if to convince myself of the truth behind her words, trying my best not to start bawling.


    Stash joined us, mallet in hand, and smiled at the two of us.


    -Is the lady ready to depart?-


    I tightened my grip around Jade¡¯s hand, and with a heavy heart nodded.


    Stash had already become relatively fluent in the secret language thanks to Jade¡¯s intensive classes. It was incredible to think that just a week ago he had no knowledge of its mere existence. He could already easily string full sentences and even follow conversations between Jade and I at full speed. Lionheart had also been slowly learning the language, but since he had been so busy, he could only speak a few rudimentary sentences for now.


    Stash started walking down the hallway and we followed right behind him. On the way, some of the other kids popped their head out in curiosity and gave spiteful expressions. It was hard to tell whether they were jealous that I was getting adopted¡­ Or if it was their usual spitefulness towards my existence.


    I often forgot since Jade and Hare had been so kind to me, but the other children at the orphanage had been anything but welcoming. Although it wasn¡¯t openly malicious since I confronted the purple-haired boy on my baptism day, I could never truly get along with the other kids and I never had made a friend outside of Jade. It wasn¡¯t that they were bullying or excluding me from their games, it¡¯s just that none of them would take the time to explain anything to me or spend time with me. Jade had been the only person who could bother to do that much¡­ I was very lucky to have made a friend like her, but now that I saw the others¡¯ eyes, I felt a bit light about leaving this place for good.


    We went through the heavy door to the front yard where Hare and Lionheart were discussing in front of the carriage. As we reached them, they stopped their discussion and turned toward us. Stash bowed politely to Lionheart before proceeding to the coach with the mallet while Hare bent down to eye level with me.


    -Are you all set? Didn¡¯t forget anything?-


    He asked with a smile on his face, but I could see the twinkle of emotions in the corner of his eyes.


    I shook my head and looked at him. His white hair pulled behind his back in a ponytail, his stained apron and his scarlet eyes that had once seemed so intimidating to me¡­ I already missed him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him as hard as I could. Hare gently wrapped his own arms around me as I started quietly crying in his shoulder. I felt a pressure on my back as Jade joined in to the hug.


    Jade¡­ Hare¡­ I will miss them. I will miss them so much. I will miss the orphanage. Even the other kids.


    It wasn¡¯t like the estate. It was difficult to leave a place where I had felt so loved. I held on so long that Hare had to pull me away. I looked at them both tearfully before turning to Lionheart.


    He had a kind look in his eyes. Almost guilty from making me leave this place. He picked me up as I waved at Hare and Jade who waved back with a smile, before we climbed into the carriage.


    As the horse started pulling away, I popped my head out and screamed.


    [Thanks for everything! Thanks for being my friends!]


    I don¡¯t know if they understood what I said but they screamed something back. The orphanage grew smaller and smaller in my vision and it wasn¡¯t long before I lost sight of it.


    ¡°I¡¯m going to miss them.¡±


    Darkie said.


    I nodded.


    [I will too.]

 36. Toy store

    The carriage rocked softly as it rode on the paved stones road. I had now ridden down this path many times, but I felt my heart heavy as I realised it would probably be the last time I did so for a long while.


    I looked down at my arms where Darkie was nestled comfortably. We had been a long way together. From the days after my accident, to my escape from the estate, my stay at the orphanage, to the kidnapping just a week ago¡­ I felt conflicted. I was happy, very happy that Lionheart had wanted me to become part of his family, but at the same time I felt as though it would all collapse on itself.


    Was it the right decision? Would life truly be better if I stayed with Lionheart or would it all come apart again..? I don¡¯t know what¡¯s right anymore¡­ Maybe I should have stayed an orphan¡­ Maybe that¡¯s all I should be.


    Those thoughts bounced in my head and made my heart ache. I wish someone Goldie was here. I wish she could tell me that this was the right decision, that there was nothing to worry about and everything would be fine.


    -Are you alright?-


    I saw hands sign in front of me. I lifted my head and saw Lionheart¡¯s worried expression. I glanced down and noticed a few tears had landed on Darkie¡¯s gold button. I wiped the tears from my eyes and Darkie¡¯s before taking a deep breath.


    I didn¡¯t mean to be sad. I wanted to be happy, but for some reason only sad thoughts came to my mind. I tried to clear my head and think about all the happy things to look forward, but that only made more tears fall from my eyes as I was reminded that I wouldn¡¯t be seeing Jade and Hare tomorrow.


    I suddenly felt myself being lifted from my seat. I let out a surprised yelp, before noticing it was Lionheart who had picked me up. He brought me toward him and delicately sat me on his lap. Bewildered, I looked around, expecting something to happen, but he simply held me in place on his lap.


    -Is something wrong?-


    I asked as I looked up to him.


    He shook his head slowly.


    -You looked worried. I wanted you to feel better.-


    Does that mean that¡­ He did this to calm me down? In the confusion, I realised that my tears had dried up, so it must have worked, but I felt a bit strange. I didn¡¯t particularly mind, I actually kind of liked it. It felt safe and warm. Not many people had done something like that for me. Actually, I couldn¡¯t remember the last time I sat on someone¡¯s laps. I had often been held by Hare and Goldie in the past, but never simply sat with them like this. The last time I sat on someone¡¯s laps¡­ It must have been with Fathe¡­.


    No¡­ He¡¯s not my father anymore. That title belonged to Lionheart, even if I wasn¡¯t quite ready to call him that yet.


    It was strange. So much time had gone by since I had seen those people¡­ I couldn¡¯t even remember the man¡¯s face, only his crop¡­ My memories of the estate had already become vague. Especially the good ones.


    It had only been half a year since that fateful night Goldie had helped me escape. My accident had occured during the summer, but my parents-... Those people had been gone to the capital since spring¡­


    A year? Has it really been a full year since I last sat on someone¡¯s lap?


    That¡¯s a very long time¡­


    While I was deep in thoughts, Lionheart kept looking in my direction with the same worried expression. He turned to the side and said something to Stash and the coach driver before turning back to me and smiling.


    He tried to sign something, but embarrassed after a few failed attempts to find the right words, he turned to the butler in front him who politely nodded before signing.


    -My Lord suggests a small detour, my Lady.-


    A small detour?


    I looked up at Lionheart curiously.


    -Where are we going?-


    Lionheart smiled at my question and playfully placed a finger in front of his lips to indicate he wouldn¡¯t say a word. I looked to Stash for answers, but he gave a similar response.


    What could it be? Why? Where? The curiosity was getting the better of me and I tried to get them to tell me something, anything about where we were going, but they kept their lips sealed right up until the carriage came to a stop.


    Lionheart carried me out of the cabin and when he put me down. In front of us was what looked like a window display. It didn¡¯t really catch my eye until I noticed something seemed to be moving inside. Curious, I came closer just in time to see something come right up to the glass.


    It was a tiny toy horse! No bigger than my hand and looked similar to a toy horse, but somehow, it was moving as if it was alive and breathing. The tiny horse darted to the left of the display and I followed it, fascinated. It passed two wooden dolls that seemed to be dancing rhythmically before going up a slight incline in the middle of the display. A wooden monkey swung past it on a rope and disappeared into the side of a shelf. All across the display different, wood and porcelain contraptions walked, danced and generally moved about. I had never seen anything like it.


    I turned out excitedly toward Lionheart who nodded with a satisfied expression on his face as he looked back at me. I couldn¡¯t believe that we had come all the way here just for me!


    I was about to go back to the display when I noticed him walking toward the door and opening it. Was there even more inside? My question was quickly answered. The entire was covered from floor to ceiling in toys, moving and otherwise.


    ¡°Hey look! Friends!¡±


    Darkie exlaimed. I looked to my right and beyond a wooden archway, I could see a wall covered in plush animals. Excited, I walked up to them. They looked very different from Darkie. Instead of buttons, their eyes looked like small little black beads. Their fur was also thick and fluffy like hair. I couldn¡¯t help but wonder if the hair had been put on them one by one or if there was a special way to grow hair plushes¡­


    I spotted a green bear with a bow stitched under its chin. He looked big and friendly and I felt drawn to him.


    [Hi!]


    ¡°Oh hello! I didn¡¯t see you there! Who might you be?~¡±


    [My name is Silika! And this is my friend Darkie!]


    ¡°My my! What a pleasure to meet you both! My name is Bean because I¡¯m green to the seam!~¡±


    He said in a melodious voice, which made me and Darkie laugh.


    Curious, Lionheart walked toward us followed closely by Stash and another man who I guessed must be the owner. Lionheart said something to stash who, after nodding, kneeled down to my height.


    -Do you like Sir Bear, my Lady?-


    He asked me as he picked up the bear from the shelf.


    I looked at Bean and happily nodded. He was a nice bear. Stash looked back to Lionheart and then back to me.


    -Would you like to take him home with us?-


    The suggestion surprised me. It didn¡¯t occur to me that we could take things home from here, I thought they were just for show. I looked down to Darkie.


    If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.


    [What do you think?]


    ¡°Maybe we should ask Bean what he thinks?¡±


    I nodded in agreement and turned to Bean.


    ¡°Oh, I would love to!... But¡­ I think I might miss my friends.¡±


    He said.


    I felt my gaze gravitate toward the wall where dozens if not hundreds of other plushies sat on their shelves. So many friends¡­ I couldn¡¯t even imagine what it would feel like to have to say goodbye to so many.


    I shook my head. I couldn¡¯t do that to him. After a moment of hesitation, Stash put Bean back on the shelf with his friends. He turned back to me and signed.


    -This is a toy store, my Lady. My Lord has stated that you my claim any of these as your own and take it home with you.-


    A¡­ Toy store? I didn¡¯t know such a thing existed. I knew there were furniture stores, grain stores, clothes stores and even bookstores, but I never imagined people would make stores just for toys. I thought they were just something adults made for children. Like food or cleaning rags.


    I looked around with a new perspective. I could take one of these home? ANY of them?


    Curious and excited, I started looking around frantically. The clerk approached me and asked something, but I had to wait for Stash to translate for me.


    -The gentleman wishes to give a tour of the premises, if the lady would permit him?-


    A guided tour? Yes please! I want to see everything! I nodded enthusiastically, which didn¡¯t miss to make the store clerk smile. He pointed with his hand in a direction and started walking as we followed him


    There were a great many fascinating things around, and many of them, like those in the vitrine, did indeed move on their own or even change colours. Curious, I asked about it. He happily explained the process in detail to Stash who could barely keep up his hand signals. As I understood it, much of the work done to allow them to move on their own was thanks to the blessing of Coloviath, god of journeys.


    Stash then proceeded to clarify that the Coloviath¡¯s blessing was meant to ease his kin¡¯s burden during their travel. It would make sails blow their own wind on calm seas and turn the wheels of carts on their own when going up hills. The Coloviath Kinsmanns had researched his blessing extensively and had developed the ability to animate almost any objects to a certain extent. As they had discovered, the more complex the movement, the weaker the strength, and so they were perfect for toys.


    While the clerk was showing a fluffy sheep toy which would lazily eat away at imaginary grass before moving on to another spot; a small wooden bird landed on the man¡¯s shoulder. It chirped quietly a few times, but the clerk simply ignored it and continued talking about the sheep.


    -What¡¯s that?-


    I asked while pulling on Stash¡¯s sleeve and pointing at the bird. He looked in the direction but before he could say anything, the bird flew over his head and landed on Lionheart¡¯s extended finger. He brought his mouth close to it and whispered something. The bird flew once more and landed on my hand.


    It was small and round. It tickled as it softly bounced on my finger and flapped its wings. And gently caressed its head. It wasn¡¯t as soft as expected, but there was something calming in the restless movement of its body. Like holding a small animal.


    -Do you like?-


    Lionheart asked.


    I stopped stroking its head and held it in my palm as I observed it happily. I looked up at Lionheart and nodded vehemently.


    -Want to take it home?-


    I looked at the bird in my hand again. It looked just as curious about me as I was about it. I looked down at Darkied Still tucked underneath my other arm.


    [What do you think?]


    Darkie was silent for a moment before answering.


    ¡°Well it doesn¡¯t talk much¡­But it sure looks fun to play with!¡±


    Agreed, I looked up at Lionheart and nodded energetically.


    Lionheart smiled and said a word to the clerk. He then came and picked me up from my feet, bird still in hand, and we left the store for the carriage. I looked back in confusion.


    -Don¡¯t we have to pay first?-


    He shook his head in response and sat down on the coach benches. His hands now free ,he explained.


    -We are nobles. We don¡¯t pay in person. They send the bill home. ?la?n will arrange it.-


    Stash came back to the carriage and not a moment later the carriage took off once more.


    The bird in my hand was calmly resting on my hand. It only moved every so often. I knew it could fly, but I didn¡¯t really know how to get it to do it¡­ I extended my hand and try to make it fly away, short of actually throwing it, but it wouldn¡¯t go anywhere.


    -Are you trying to get it to fly?-


    Lionheart asked to which I nodded.


    -Seeking birds need direction, or else they won¡¯t fly.-


    So I have to give it directions for it to fly? That might be complicated¡­ Would it understand secret language? But something else also caught my attention in his explanation.


    -Seeking bird? Is that its name?-


    Lionheart hesitated for a second before turning to Stash who provided the explanation in his stead.


    -It is what these birds are called, my Lady. They are used to carry messages across long distances-


    He gently picked up the bird from my hand and after staring at it for a moment it flew back to me.


    -If you can think of who and where you want it to go, it should be able to fly there. Simply close your eyes and think of where you want it to fly to.-


    I tried to do as he said and the bird flew right out of my hand onto Stash¡¯s. It was much easier than I expected!


    Lionheart nodded approvingly.


    -This one is just a toy, so it won¡¯t go too far. Some can travel across kingdoms without a rest, but they can easily cost the same as a mansion.-


    A mansion? Wait¡­ How much did THIS seeking bird cost? Isn¡¯t that just too much for a gift? I didn¡¯t really understand but it made me anxious. Wasn¡¯t money important? Jade had once explained it to me, but was it really really okay to spend as much a MANSION just to make me happy? The idea made me uncomfortable. I felt guilty and remorseful.


    -Isn¡¯t that too expensive?-


    I finally asked him after agonising over the subject, but Lionheart simply smiled.


    -Well this is only a toy seeking bird, so it isn¡¯t quite as expensive.-


    He explained with a calm expression.


    I felt a sense of relief. Never had I gone hungry in my life, but my time at the orphanage had taught me what it meant.


    A proud smile spread on his lips.


    -But if it¡¯s for you, I wouldn¡¯t mind spending as much as three mansions! You¡¯re the daughter of Baron Ashbrook now, there¡¯s nothing you can¡¯t have!-


    Lionheart signed.


    I felt the air get stuck in my throat. I knew he meant it as a way to show how much he cared for me, but it somehow made me feel¡­


    It felt confusing. It wasn¡¯t the idea of money that made my heart beat so hard. Money had never bothered me before, why would it now? Why does it feel important when it should matter less than ever?


    No It isn¡¯t about the money. Not the gold and copper. It was where it came from. Someone from the orphanage could never have that much money. No commoner could. Only a noble¡­


    And I was noble.


    Again.


    A burning sensation in my chest made me bend forward on my knees as I gripped Darkie. Something was happening. In my head, in my heart, it hurt.


    The more I thought about being a noble, the more it hurt.


    It screamed¡­ I can¡¯t trust them!


    They were the ones who beat me, who hurt me! They were the one who brought me to church and had me slapped and then imprisoned me in a room, barricaded the windows to the point where barely any light could filter in.


    Suffocated me, like this carriage.


    Nothing¡¯s changed. It¡¯s only a matter of time. It will hurt again and they will justify it. They¡¯ll think it¡¯s okay to beat me with a crop made for animals.


    My head was burning as if hot coal had been poured in it. Why did it hurt?


    Why does being a noble hurt? I¡¯m tired, I don¡¯t want to hurt any more. Please. Please. Please. Please. Make it stop. Please. No pain Please.


    My throat was burning. My eyes were stinging. Please make it stop! Please make it stop!


    I couldn¡¯t breathe. I couldn''t think. I couldn¡¯t¡­


    Suddenly the air got lighter and light shone on my closed eyelids.


    My breathing was still erratic, but I could now feel the air of the outside world fill my lungs again. I could feel the tears that had trickled down my face and the saliva from my mouth. Probably from the silent screams that had escaped my still opened mouth.


    I opened my eyes, I was tucked between Lionheart¡¯s arms. So warm, so soft. The carriage was gone. I could see the vast blue sky above us and green grass around. I could see the carriage just a bit down. We must be in some kind of park, I thought, but then I noticed the manor just a bit further. It was Lionheart¡¯s¡­ I mean, our home.


    My mind slowly calmed itself. I wasn¡¯t screaming anymore. I could feel a silent whimper escape my lips, but Lionheart was there. He was holding me, hugging me tightly yet gently. I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed tightly.


    I felt so scared, but I didn¡¯t really understand it. It wasn¡¯t like before. I didn¡¯t fear that my pare¡­ That the people from the estate would find me. It was something unseen. The idea that maybe things would go wrong¡­ And it terrified me.


    I felt a tremor. It took me a moment to realise that it wasn¡¯t me, but Lionheart. As he held tightly onto me, he also cried on my shoulder.


    Maybe he was also scared. Maybe it¡¯s normal to be scared?


    We stayed like that for a long time. When we separated enough that I could see his face. His tears had dried, but I could see the dark circle under his swollen eyes.


    It was hard to trust nobles¡­ But I wanted to trust him. Very much so.


    He stood up and started walking toward the estate.


    I only caught a glimpse of the door before the fatigue was too much and I fell asleep in his arms.

 37. Life Goes On

    -...and aeons passed without Farah Satyll¡¯s prophecy coming to be. Until Matriarch Galivee, under the blessing of the Maiden, researched the benefit of ferrous glass to¡­-


    Jade looked from the leatherbound volume in my direction and frowned.


    -Are you listening?-


    I blinked a few times. I was vaguely aware that she HAD been telling me about something, but the exact nature of what she was saying eluded me.


    -Yeah, absolutely.-


    I signed, but couldn''t meet her eyes with a clean conscience.


    -Alright, so tell me what I just said.-


    She replied with an eyebrow raised as she leaned back on her wooden chair.


    I rubbed my chin pensively in an effort to stall for time, or for her to let go of it, but she was having none of it. I tried to glance at the book''s content in the hope that I could get a clue, but she wouldn''t have been here with me in the first place if I could read it on my own.


    By Onilab


    Seeing my eyes wander about she shook her head and visibly sighed.


    -Come on, Silika. You have to focus!-


    I felt my heart sink at her comment. I didn¡¯t like Jade being mad at me¡­


    -I''m sorry. It''s just really difficult to understand. Why do I even have to learn all this? It''s not even directly related to Scorn!-


    She shook her head again at my words.


    -Everyone has to learn at least this much. At your age, I had already memorised all the Patriarch and Matriarch of Diid¡­ And I''ve now memorised all of Scorn''s for your sake! You¡¯re late on getting started so you have to work twice as hard.-


    I grumbled.


    -You''re not that much older than me¡­-


    It annoys me when she uses her age to put herself above me, but it seems my words backfired as she raised an eyebrow.


    -I really don''t think saying that makes your situation any better. You have to focus or at least get better at reading. Once fall begins, I won''t be able to tutor you as often, remember?-


    Of course I remember! It annoys me to no end! If we''re not going to be able to see each other as often, I really wish we could at least spend the time we have outside in the sun or at least at the house instead of this stuffy library.


    Still waiting for an answer, Jade rested her head against her hand and looked at me expectantly, but before I could say anything, her eyes darted to the right and a polite smile appeared on her face as she stood up from her seat. I turned around and recognised the Bishop and followed Jade as she walked up to him, while trying my best not to trip on the hem of my dress.


    He asked something from Jade which I assumed to be the status of my learning. She replied to him slowly. I was a bit worried about what she might be saying. I know she''s my friend and wouldn''t purposely put me in trouble, but she sometimes has those ''big sister'' instincts that made her do otherwise.


    The Bishop''s face remained as expressionless as ever. Although it was nice to know he wouldn''t get angry at me, I knew very well that if I misbehaved, I should expect a scolding from someone else... Although probably not by Lionheart.


    I don''t know if that¡¯s because he''s too kind or afraid to do it. He is also a very busy person so I haven¡¯t seen him that often in the last week. Mostly only at meal times. I wish he wasn''t so busy, but I don¡¯t want to tell him. He might think I¡¯m too greedy.


    The Bishop waited patiently for Jade to finish her report before nodding knowingly and sharing a few words with her. After a few back and forths, the Bishop turned to me and knelt to my height. He closed his eyes and tilted his head forward. It was the second time we were doing this, so I knew what he expected of me and tilted my head forward as well and let our forehead meet. I felt the vibrations of his voice reverberate through my head. I knew it to be a prayer, although I didn¡¯t know the words for it.


    As the vibrations traversed through my head, I felt the muscles of my neck relax. Something about this process made me feel so much calmer.


    This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.


    We separated and he looked at me for a moment, before taking out something from his pocket. It was a black metal cube. Similar to the one he had given me at my baptism which was now carefully displayed on my nightstand back home.


    Knowing what he expected I extended my hand and let him place the cube in my palm. Before I could even feel the shock come from it, I made it turn into a flower.


    This was all part of the training every Scornkin had to go through before their communion according to what Jade had explained to me before.


    It was a bit like a rite of passage. Not as big of an event as a baptism, but a communion was just as important.


    Children and even adults sometimes worshipped more than one god, so although a person could only ever get baptised once, they could get as many communion as there were gods. For the church to recognise a person''s dedication, a believer had to prove their knowledge of both the gods and their blessings.


    The Bishop picked up the flower from my hand and observed it. After a few moments, the edges of the flower dulled and in an instant it went back to being a cube. The bishop nodded, satisfied, and put the cube back into his pocket.


    From my study session with Jade, I had learned that this dark metal cube was called ''Unimaterium Ferrous Glass''. I didn''t quite understand how it worked since there were so many big words involved, but it seemed that it was made from something that reacted to Scorn''s blessing and allowed us to change its shape with ease. The downside was that in its unchanged shape, it had the annoying habit of shocking the person holding it.


    The Bishop said a few more words to Jade behind me before standing up once more.


    Jade walked to my side and smiled.


    They discussed for a few more moments.


    At the sight of his expression, I let out a sigh of relief. It seemed that although I got distracted, the Bishop was still satisfied with my work today.


    As the conversation came to an end, and the Bishop bowed and took his leave, Jade signed to me.


    -Come on let''s go pack our things-


    I nodded and we walked back to the table. I tried to hop back on the chair, but the skirt of my dress got caught in a gap in the seat¡¯s wood.


    Since I had become a Baron¡¯s daughter, they had made me start dressing the part and that unfortunately involved a needless amount of fabric. It did look pretty though and compared to the past, I could actually pick the colour of my clothes.


    Jade, seeing me struggle, came to help me and we were able to get the dress loose without tearing it. Slightly exhausted I sat on the chair and let my body lay on the cool wood of the table.


    -Still not used to it?-


    She asked, but I wasn¡¯t sure what to answer.


    It wasn¡¯t a matter of ¡®being used to it¡¯. The actual question I asked myself everyday was: can I get used to it? Is it something that can be learnt?


    Unsure, I simply shrugged at her question.


    -Give it time. You got used to the orphanage didn¡¯t you? You can do it again.-


    She said with a kind smile¡­ but it wasn¡¯t what worried me.


    I looked up from her hand and stared at her green eyes for a moment. Eternally loving, eternally patient. Would I have gotten used to the orphanage without them? Without Jade?


    -It¡¯s just¡­ hard to accept.-


    I begun explaining.


    The right words wouldn¡¯t come to me, so I simply signed away.


    -I know this is real, of course it is, how could it be any other way? But there¡¯s something in my head. Like a voice¡­ Or a feeling. Something that tells me that I don¡¯t belong here. That I don''t deserve to ever feel happy. It whispers in my dreams and tells me that it can all be taken away at any moment and that my happiness is only temporary.-


    Jade started to move her fingers to reply, but she stopped in her tracks and her lips tightened.


    She doesn¡¯t know what to say. I can tell. She wants to be reassuring, tell me everything will be fine, but she knows just as much as anyone that things don¡¯t always go the way it seems they should.


    I looked down at the table.


    I used to think I was safe with my family, but then it came crumbling down with one mistake. I thought I was safe with Goldie, but even she couldn¡¯t do anything against my parents when they came for me. I finally thought I was safe at the orphanage, but as soon as I was alone in the streets, danger crept up on me and only Jade was able to protect me¡­ But in the end even Jade became not enough to stand against them.


    She put her hands on mine and squeezed tightly before signing to me.


    -I know it''s scary, but I think you can trust Sir Lionheart. If you had seen him that day¡­ Well, I don''t think he would let anything bad happen to you.-


    I want to trust Lionheart, but can I really? It feels like he¡¯s always so far, so distant.


    Almost as if he¡¯s avoiding me.


    -There''s¡­ Something else bothering me¡­ It''s really not important, but¡­-


    I said hesitantly.


    Jade tilted her head, but before I could say anything else, I Felt the table tremble slightly and Jade tense up. I looked to the side and noticed something new on the wood surface.


    -What''s that?!-


    Jade asked, shocked.


    -Sparrow!-


    It was my seeking bird looking up at us with its wooden body. If he was here, then that meant¡­


    I quickly started packing my bag at the surprise of a flustered Jade who was still curiously looking at the bird.


    -Wait a moment, Silika! What is this?-


    I stood up in a hurry, almost knocking my chair over, and grabbed the wooden bird.


    -Lionheart¡¯s here!-


    I quickly signed. I slung my bag over my shoulder, sent Sparrow ahead and grabbed Darkie. Not a moment later I started running down with Jade hot on my trail.


    I came through the threshold of the church, the sunlight blinding me momentarily.


    When my vision adjusted once more I was greeted with a familiar grey and green moustache.


    -Greetings, my lady. Ready to depart?-


    Stash asked with an eternal smile on his lips as he stood in front of the carriage¡­But Lionheart was nowhere to be seen.

 38. Meal Plan

    The carriage bounced on the rough pavement as we passed now familiar streets on the way home.


    I felt irritated¡­ angry even.


    It was only Stash and me in the carriage. He had offered for Jade to come spend the afternoon at the residence, but she had refused, stating she had chores to do at the orphanage.


    It was disappointing that she had declined but it wasn''t the reason I was in a sour mood. The guilt laid completely and entirely on Lionheart.


    -Where is he?-


    I asked Stash, barely hiding the emotions from my face.


    For a few moments he didn''t say anything and simply smiled awkwardly at me, hoping this would be enough of an answer, but I didn''t break eye contact.


    After a few tense seconds he relented.


    -My lord had urgent business at the Green Palace.-


    I raised an eyebrow.


    -Green palace?-


    Was that even a real place? It sounds made-up. Suspicious.


    -What''s the Green Palace?-


    Stash rubbed his chin for a moment. Was he trying to think of an explanation.. Or making up more lies? After a few instants he seemed to nod at his own thoughts and he explained.


    -It''s a place where laws are discussed.-


    -Like a court?-


    Stash looked surprised.


    -You know what a court is, my lady?-


    I nodded.


    -I heard about it from my Moth¡­ -


    No.


    I already told myself that I wouldn''t think about that woman as THAT anymore.


    -...From someone.-


    Stash smiled. Whether he understood that I was hiding something or not was a mystery.


    -Is that so? Well, you are partially right. Although it is similar, the Green Palace is not quite the same as a court, but it has a similar purpose. Those of peerage are required to attend in order to resolve their disagreements.-


    Disagreements?


    -Is Lionheart in trouble? Is it my fault?-


    I completely forgot about my earlier anger.


    I remember Jade telling me that Lionheart had broken me out of prison. I don''t know how these things work exactly, but I do know that you normally can''t just take people out of prison like that, but Stash shook his head.


    -Not at all, my lady. Perhaps quite the opposite. My lord is simply resolving a small argument.-


    I let out a sigh of relief.


    So he isn''t avoiding me¡­


    Despite having become closer during our trip to the toy store, I felt as if Lionheart has been avoiding me and keeping his distance lately. I barely ever see him outside of meal times and in a big house like his, full of busy adults, I''ve been feeling rather lonely.


    The carriage finally turned into the short entrance path.


    I called it short, but that was compared to the Estate in Oblon. It was easily four times the size of the yard at the orphanage.


    -Ah, my lady! I forgot to tell you. There is someone I would like you to meet.-


    Stash announced out of the blue.


    -Uh? Really? Who? Why?-


    Before he could answer, the coach came to a stop.


    Stash stepped out of the carriage and held out his hand which I gladly accepted on the way down. At first he would carry me out, but after my consistent protest, he finally stopped. Unfortunately, it seems Lionheart caught wind of it and also stopped¡­


    -So who was it that you wanted me to meet.-


    I asked him as he handed my book satchel to another servant.


    Having been looking elsewhere while I asked him, he tilted his head in interrogation. I repeated myself and he clasped his hand together as if just remembering about it.


    -That¡¯s right! Yes, my lady, I have someone to introduce to you.-


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    He said a few words, to a servant who bowed respectfully before leaving the room in a hurry.


    -Why don¡¯t we proceed to the garden first? You must be famished, I¡¯ll have the cook whip you up lunch.-


    I perked up at this announcement.


    Lunch!


    If one thing I could tell had dramatically improved since I came here, it was food! Despite not being considered particularly poor by the other kids'' standards, the food at the orphanage had always been on the bland side. Most of it was composed of oats, carrots and potatoes and it almost always tasted the same¡­ And sometimes slightly worse.


    Some of the kids ate something weird. They called it ¡®meat¡¯. It looked very tough and reddish brown. I had never seen anything like it before. It was apparently quite popular, but used sparingly since it was expensive.


    I asked Jade about it when I noticed her eating some. After struggling for a few minutes to figure out the best way to explain it, she finally explained that it was the skin of dead animals.


    At first, I was disgusted. I felt sick at the idea that my friend had eaten dead skin, but she explained that it was quite normal and that there are farms full of animals and people called ¡°hunters¡± who spent their entire life killing animals so they could be eaten. It was also this way I learnt that leather was also made from the skin of dead animals. I had never questioned animal products like milk or eggs since they were simply a byproduct, but the bodies¡­


    It was all very troubling. I had always been taught that killing and dying were the greatest tragedies and only done to the most wicked of people or wild animals. Never had I considered you could ¡®eat¡¯ them and never had I seen any of it being served at the estate.


    For a few weeks I looked at the small amount of meat being served with disdain. I simply couldn¡¯t detach the mental image of an animal being served as food on the dining table, but eventually curiosity got the best of me.


    I took a piece of meat from the table and bit into it.


    It was chewy. Very chewy. So chewy in fact I wasn''t sure if I was eating food or tree bark. But every time I bit at the meat, some invigorating aroma escaped it and filled my mouth. It was a curious taste and somehow¡­ Filling. Plenty of time in my life I had eaten until I couldn¡¯t take another bite, but this was different, almost as if it was filling a new stomach I didn¡¯t know I had.


    I asked Hare about it, but he had gone into a long winded explanation about how eating certain food gave different types of nutrients and small rocks. It left me more confused than anything, but from what I understood, some foods had more of them and made us grow taller and feel more energised.


    Although meat made me feel full, it was always really difficult to eat so I only ate a small amount, but this changed soon after coming here.


    At first, they didn¡¯t really serve me meat at all. Although I didn¡¯t particularly mind since I had spent most of my life not eating any, I started missing the chewy taste of the meat they served at the orphanage.


    So, not knowing any better, when I was asked what I wanted for lunch by Stash, I asked for meat.


    He had looked completely bewildered at my request and turned to Lionheart. After an energetic back and forth, they eventually turned back to me and asked if I was sure I could eat meat. Confused, I simply nodded and Stash excused himself to go prepare our meal. When he came back, he placed a plate in front of me. What was in front of me looked completely foreign to me. It looked similar at a glance, but it was much larger and looked somehow¡­ wet?


    Instinctively, I tried to grab it with my hand like I had done with the meat at the orphanage, but I was surprised to notice it was warm and soft.


    Seeing my actions, Stash panicked and quickly cleaned my hand and explained I couldn¡¯t eat it with my hands.


    He used a large knife at my side and used the blade to cut through the meat. As he did, I was amazed to see the pink inside, almost red. It was incredible, I had never seen anything like it. It was almost like¡­


    It finally hit me, it was still warm and the inside was red¡­ Like blood! The meat was still alive!


    I started panicking, I trashed about, tried to pull on Stash¡¯s sleeve to make him stop cutting and started crying, thinking they had killed the meat right in front of me. After some time, they were finally able to calm me down.


    I finally understood that that was simply how the meat looked before it was cooked. Apparently, what I had eaten at the orphanage was called ¡®jerky¡¯ and to cook it, it had to be completely dried so there wasn¡¯t much red left compared to what they had served me which they called ¡®steak¡¯.


    I was still reluctant to eat it for a moment, but as soon as I tried some, the taste flooded my mouth. I couldn¡¯t believe I had never eaten anything like it before and it erased the entirety of the sadness I had experienced a moment before.


    The idea of eating animals still left a funny feeling in my head everytime I thought about it and sometimes felt waves of discomfort, but I slowly began to accept the idea that this all made sense¡­ Somehow.


    Ever since then, there have been many meat dishes cooked for me and I feel like everyday is a new experience.


    And today was no different.


    -Here you are my lady.-


    He placed the plates in front of me, but as practised I waited before eating.


    -This dish called ¡®Mr?¡¯s plate¡¯. Originating from the great plains of Morrow, it is composed of wild herb sprouts topped with mutton meatballs and goat cheese. The meat is either chopped or grinded and then shaped into a ball that can then be stuffed with garlic and other herbs. It was once a common dish among sheep herders for the ease of access to the ingredients, but it slowly gained popularity throughout the years and can now be freshly prepared in any region with some adjustments.-


    I nodded at his explanation.


    This exercise was two pronged. The first was that, after the ¡®bloody meat¡¯ incident, I didn¡¯t want to get caught off-guard again. The other was to teach me more about the world. It seemed that from most people¡¯s point of view I had a lack of understanding of the world and history, so Lionheart and Stash have been trying to shove ¡®common knowledge¡¯ trivia like this in my daily activities so I become more ¡®cultured¡¯.


    I took my fork and split the meatball in two, a fragrant aroma assaulted my nostril and I happily started digging in.


    As I did, I noticed an amused look on Stash¡¯s face. If there is one thing I dislike, it¡¯s to be made fun of¡­


    -Why are you laughing?-


    I asked with a scowl.


    -Oh, pardon me, my lady. I simply cannot get used to this sight.-


    He said as he tried to compose himself.


    -The sight¡­ Of how I eat?-


    He¡¯s definitely making fun of me.


    -Oh not at all! My lady is very gracious in all she does¡­-


    I raised an eyebrow at his answer. Gracious in everything I do? Yeah right.


    -Then if it¡¯s not about HOW I eat, what is it?-


    I asked as I placed my utensils on the table and crossed my arms. I¡¯m not letting it go.


    He looked uncomfortable for a few moments, before speaking up.


    -You see, my lady¡­ How should I put this¡­ Meiriemkins can¡¯t usually eat meat.-


    My eyebrow sank into a disinterested look.


    -Is that all it is? I¡¯m a Scornkin so it doesn¡¯t matter what Meiriem says.-


    Stash shook his head.


    -No, my lady. You misunderstand. Those with Meiriem blood would normally surely get sick and could even die from consuming this much meat.-


    I sat up from my chair in panic.


    -Wait what?!-

 39. Heritage

    Stash smiled in a somewhat dry manner.


    -It is as I was just saying, those with Meiriem blood usually cannot eat meat. It could even kill them in fact.-


    Is that true? Am I going to die? Why did they let me do this? I didn¡¯t know!


    -But, be at ease my lady, this doesn¡¯t appear to affect you in any way. Otherwise, we would have seen some serious symptoms by now.-


    -I¡­Is that so?-


    -Absolutely, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, I guarantee it. Meiriemkin simply do not have the right stomach for it.-


    He rubbed his chin for a moment.


    -Think of it like feeding a cat grass. It simply wouldn¡¯t be able to eat it.-


    Stash insisted with a calm smile.


    Still unsure, but somewhat reassured, I sat back into my seat. After a moment of hesitation, I was about to dig into my meal once more, I hesitated and turned to Stash once more.


    -...But if people from my blood usually can¡¯t eat meat, why can I?-


    Stash pulled on the extremities of his green parsed grey moustache in a pensive manner.


    -My lord and I discussed a few theories, but we came to a¡­ Impasse.-


    I tilted my head at his comment.


    -What¡¯s an impasse? Can I help?-


    He looked hesitant for a moment.


    -In fact you¡¯re the only one who could, my lady, but I fear the subject could make you uncomfortable.-


    -I don¡¯t mind.-


    I simply answered as I shook my head.


    -Then, if you¡¯ll allow it¡­-


    Stash dug in his pocket and took out a small notebook and pencil and borrowed the seat in front of me.


    -Please tell me right away if you¡¯re feeling uncomfortable.-


    I didn¡¯t really understand, but he looked serious so I nodded.


    -About your¡­ previous family.-


    I felt my blood grow cold instantly and my fist started trembling. I tried to hide it by grabbing my dress, but I couldn¡¯t be sure Stash didn¡¯t notice.


    I took a deep breath and looked back at Stash, ready for the rest of the question. He had a moment of hesitation, but seeing I wasn¡¯t backing down, he continued.


    -I won¡¯t ask for details, but do you happen to know your family¡¯s heritage?-


    Of course I did. It was drilled into my mind since I could walk.


    -Yes.-


    I nodded and took a deep breath as I tried to recall everything.


    -My fath¡­-


    Wrong, that title doesn¡¯t belong to him anymore.


    -That man¡­ He was proud of the family¡¯s Meiriem and Seeir heritage. His father of that same descent. That man¡¯s mother on the other hand was from Sunvale and was half Meiriemkin and half Aleniakin. That man wasn¡¯t proud of that fact. He always said that¡­-


    ¡­Alenia¡¯s blood only made us closer to peasants.


    The words had never stuck out to me before. They felt natural. Peasants and nobles don¡¯t mix. One is made to serve the other, but could I really still believe that? Wasn¡¯t I a peasant just a few weeks ago? Or were peasants another thing entirely?


    Regardless, the words stuck in my throat and made me want to hurl.


    -He said a lot of things.-


    I concluded. This man¡¯s words didn¡¯t deserve to be retold.


    Stash nodded. I guess he might have known what came next.


    -That woman¡¯s family was different. Her father was of almost pure Seeir heritage, but not a kin. Her mother was a Fey and Meiriem kin.-


    Stash diligently wrote down everything I said while nodding.


    He sat back for a moment and pondered. He looked back and forth from me and the document. He wanted to ask me something, I could tell, but he couldn¡¯t find the right words.


    -What about¡­ That man and woman? What were the traits they inherited?-


    The traits¡­ He must mean their hair and eyes.


    -She had pale pink hair, almost white, and pale blue eyes. He had Pale blue hair and pink eyes.-


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    He wrote down what I told him but then stopped. He pondered for a moment and tapped his pencil on the sheet of paper. Something seemed to be bothering him.


    -Then perhaps it was Seeir¡¯s traits which influenced the tolerance¡­ But¡­-


    He stared at me for a long moment before addressing me.


    -My lady, why are you a Scornkin?-


    I frowned, annoyed


    -I can be whoever¡¯s kin I like.-


    I answered dryly.


    His eyes opened wide, and he lifted his hand innocently.


    -I did not mean to offend, my lady! I was simply curious as to how that came to be. If neither of your parents were Scornkin themselves, it is simply¡­ Well unusual.-


    Was that really how it was?


    Children just did the same as their parents no matter what?


    What if their parents were stupid? What if they were bad parents? What if they were evil? What about if they beat them every day because a kinsmann told them! Should they still be the same as them?!


    I wanted to get angry, but I knew Stash wasn¡¯t trying to be mean. He was curious¡­


    And I did agree to help him.


    -When¡­ When I lived on the estate. There was a maid. I don¡¯t know her name, but I called her Goldie. Goldie was a nice person. After¡­-


    I hesitated.


    I wanted to be honest. To tell him exactly what happened but something in my mind was stopping me. I was afraid of what would happen if these people knew. Knew who I was before. What had happened to me. Would they also get mad at me? Throw me in a dark room and beat me?


    I want to think they wouldn¡¯t, but could I really know?


    -I lost my voice and ears, she was the one who took care of me. She would bring me my meals, make me drink medicine, clean my room and my clothes¡­ She¡¯s even the one who made Darkie.-


    I brought Darkie in front of me on the table. His arm and ear were still slightly crooked from when he was sewed back together, but I still remember what he looked like that day as Goldie made him.


    I still remembered how she had been reluctant to make him black like her hair with golden button eyes like hers¡­ I remembered how sad she had looked when she had given it to me¡­ Why was it that she had been sad back then? Did she know about¡­ About the kinsmann? About what would happen?


    I hadn¡¯t thought about Goldie in a long time, but now the memories were flooding my mind. It felt like a lifetime ago, yet her face was so clear in mind. I remembered her face. Thin and pale as she smiled at me one last time before I left in that carriage all those nights ago.


    I¡­ I miss her. I miss her a lot.


    I suddenly remembered that Stash was patiently smiling and waiting.


    Realising I had stopped talking mid-sentence, I continued.


    -She¡­ She was the nicest person I ever met. So when it came time to get baptised, there was one person who reminded me of her. It was the bishop and I was drawn to him. It was only during baptism that I discover that they were Scornkins.-


    I finished my explanation.


    Stash nodded seriously for a few moments, but I could see his eyes still darting around. Almost as if he didn¡¯t believe me.


    -I understand what you¡¯re telling me, my lady, but¡­ I was really asking about your eyes.-


    I was surprised.


    -My eyes?-


    He nodded seriously.


    -My lady, your eyes are those of one who has inherited Scorn¡¯s blood. Either that man or that woman must have¡­-


    I shook my head.


    -No they didn¡¯t.-


    -Then perhaps you misremember what they said about their parents?-


    -No.-


    I answered categorically.


    -And my eyes weren¡¯t always gold. Before I came to Evergreen, they used to be silver.-


    He rubbed his chin before nodding.


    -Hmmh¡­ Yes that¡¯s possible, but then¡­. One of your parents would still need to carry Scorn¡¯s blood for you to inherit the traits.-


    I shrugged.


    The fact that people¡¯s eyes could change was news to me, but I didn¡¯t know what to tell him. I understood what he was trying to get at, but the fact was simple, neither of these people had this heritage.


    -Then, perhaps, one of your parents wasn''t really your parent..?-


    I immediately felt a wave of anger run through me. I knew what that meant. He was implying I was a bastard.


    But then, the idea that, perhaps, they weren¡¯t really my mother or father twinkled in mind. How wonderful would that be? That all my time at the estate had been a misunderstanding? Perhaps this ¡®mother¡¯ or ¡®father¡¯ would have come swoop in and saved me from that room. From the abuse and the beatings¡­ What a perfect fairy tale ending.


    But something in my guts told me it couldn¡¯t be. Life isn¡¯t THAT fair. That man and woman were my parents. We shared blood. A sickening connection I will never be able to severe.


    I looked straight into Stash¡¯s eyes.


    -I wish you were right.-


    I leaned back on my chair and stared at Darkie, propped up and sitting on the table.


    <What do you think?>


    I asked him.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry. As much as I wish I didn¡¯t. I agree with you. I don¡¯t think it would make much sense. Those people might be the worst in the world, but they used to treat you the same as Dalton, Ela and Knox.¡±


    I nodded, Darkie was right. It doesn¡¯t make sense. I reached out to him and brought him to my chest. Squeezing him hard.


    Stash remained silent. He clasped his hand together and looked away. Perhaps he felt guilty. I wanted to tell him he shouldn¡¯t. I also wish he was right, but I was also angry at the meaning behind his words.


    After a few tense moments, his expression softened. He bowed slightly and stood up from his seat. Just as he did, he glanced back and his eyebrow raised.


    -My lady, it seems that the person I wished to introduce to you has arrived.-


    He stood aside and I saw a woman approach. Well not quite a woman. She looked older than me, but not exactly fully grown up either. She was dressed in a servant outfit. A black dress over a white shirt, a green vest and a thin red bow held the shirt together at the neck.


    She had short fiery hair pointing in all directions encircling her freckled face and two sharp blue eyes.


    She stopped and stood upright just a few feet away from the other end of the table with a large smile plastered across her face.


    Somehow she looked¡­ Energetic. Her calm demeanour was barely contained and she looked like she could explode into a sprint at any second.


    Stash put a hand on her shoulder.


    -This young lady is ?? Glsr. She is the daughter of Sir L?n Glsr. She has volunteered to become your personal attendant and playmate.-


    He turned to the girl who stood proudly and lifted her hand.


    -Greeting! Mine sweet woman!-


    She signed energetically, making me choke on the salad I was just chewing..


    What did that girl call me..?

 40. An attentive girl

    Stash rushed to my side and helped me sip on a glass of water so the coughing would stop. He said a few words to the girl who looked shocked and bowed her head in an apologetic stance.


    -I apologies, my lady. ?? is still learning.-


    He signed hastily before wiping the rest of the food that had splattered down my chin.


    -My sorry! My sorry!-


    The girl repeatedly signed.


    She looked very embarrassed and glanced around for something to do in this emergency. She looked like she had just broken an expensive vase¡­ Somehow, meeting someone more clumsy than myself made me happy.


    As Stash finally finished wiping the salad from my dress, I addressed her.


    -Your name is ??, right?-


    The girl stopped her frantic apologies and tilted her head


    -Sorry. What say?-


    She responded.


    From the way she signed, she was still learning the basics.  Some people seem to pick up quickly when it comes to the secret language, but there are people who simply can¡¯t seem to grasp it.


    -Your . Name . Is . ?  ? . Right ?-


    I signed slowly.


    She repeated the signs a few times before her eyes lit up.


    -Yes! Yes! ??.-


    She signed back, smiling.


    -Our names are similar! Mine is ???! Almost the same accents! Can I call you ??? It will be even closer!-


    I learnt all the basic consonants of the language, so I could guess her name must be something close to Mili. There was another accent, but I wasn¡¯t sure what it sounded like.


    She seemed to hesitate for a moment. Stash spoke up and told her a few words and her eyes lit up once again.


    She seemed rather happy about what he had just told her and she nodded excitedly.


    -Yes! I like name!-


    After our short introduction, Stash took the time to explain who Mili was and what she would be doing.


    He explained that Lionheart and himself had been struggling on how to make sure I was well taken care of. Although the maids had all been kind, I was unable to communicate with any of them despite my best attempts. Apparently, Stash had tried to teach some basic phrases and sentences with moderate success. Most could ask me basic questions such as if I was thirsty or hurt, but they struggled to understand anything beyond ¡®Yes¡¯ or ¡®no¡¯. That¡¯s where Mili came in.


    Apparently, she was the daughter of one of our family¡¯s knights, Sir Glsr. As landed gentry, his family was quite well off. Recently, his daughter Mili had joined him in the capital to gain more worldly experience.


    To my surprise, she was the one who volunteered for the position. Despite her parents best intention in bringing her to the capital, there had been little in the way of interesting work for her to do and as she was both highly literate and learned, Mili had spent her days helping with keeping the household books and doing menial jobs around the estate.


    Seeing her bounce from one foot to another, I could already tell why this wasn¡¯t a good fit for her. She looked much too active to spend days in an office scribbling on paper.


    -So from now on, Mili will be the one to look after you throughout the day. You can call for me at any time of course if the need arises. She is still learning, so I hope my lady will be kind and patient with her.-


    I nodded and smiled in response.


    It was exciting to no longer have an adult with me all day long. Maybe Mili would also be able to play with me? Stash had tried, but it just wasn¡¯t the same as playing with other kids or Jade.


    Stash turned to Mili and talked to her for a few moments.


    There were a few back and forth, probably instructions, before he turned back to me.


    -I wish you a wonderful day my lady-


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    Stash finally said before bowing and taking his leave, leaving the two of us alone in the garden.


    We looked at each other awkwardly for a few moments. I was unsure what to say, so I turned my attention back to my unfinished plate.


    Once I finished the meat, it was always difficult to finish the plate somehow. The green always feels more bland and bitter in comparison¡­


    There was a Seeir saying that went something like: ¡®Those who do not know, do not crave¡¯.


    I had not truly grasped the meaning back then, but it all made sense now.


    I did try to skip the salad yesterday, but Stash scolded me. Maybe Mili wouldn¡¯t?


    Fork in hand, I stole a glance in her direction. She was still staring at me with an intense look in her eyes.


    Had she caught on with my plan already?


    Nevermind. It¡¯s not worth the risk. I chowed down on the herbs as quickly as I could, doing my best to ignore the bitter prickle in my throat. I washed it all down with a warm cup of tea and laid back on my chair. The entire time, Mili had never stopped starring.


    I don¡¯t think she even blinked.


    Somehow she had managed to sneak all the way up to my side and was now staring harder than ever. If she stared any harder, I think her eyes would pop right out of their sockets.


    -Are you¡­?-


    As I signed the words, she jumped forward and stared at my hands intensely. Making me backaway by reflex.


    What¡¯s wrong with her?


    After a moment, she turned back to me, perplexed looking.


    -Sorry, no understand words. Again?-


    Uh? She was trying to see what I was signing?


    I gently pushed her back and slowly signed.


    -Are you alright?-


    I saw her eyes trace every movement of my hands. She repeated the sign to herself once before nodding seriously.


    -Yes! I alright!-


    She answered proudly before going back to staring intensely.


    I could feel a grimace appearing on my face, but I forced myself to smile instead. At least now I understand better why she looked so focused.


    Learning the secret language can be exhausting at first, and it¡¯s very easy to miss a hand movement or the beginning of a sentence if you¡¯re not paying attention¡­ But maybe she¡¯s trying a bit too hard¡­


    I sipped on my cup of tea as I tried to ignore her gaze.


    I closed my eyes and immersed myself in the flavour.


    Like with most teas, the first thing I noticed was not the taste, but the aroma. The ones I had drank before coming here had mostly a floral smell, but this one was more fruity. Almost like wild berries. The taste on the other hand wasn¡¯t sweet. Actually, tea was a strange experience. The taste was never particularly good. If someone asked me to describe the taste, I would probably say that it is bitter with hints of whatever ingredients were mixed in. Yet, somehow, the experience of drinking was always enjoyable. It disconnects the mind, makes me stop thinking and instead makes me appreciate what one has.


    I opened my eyes and looked around me, The courtyard of the Ashbrook estate. Like many Evergreen estate, it was smaller than the ones you would find in the countryside. So compact in fact that the courtyard was surrounded on three sides with the rest of the mansion as to not waste space. At first I thought it looked cramped, but now that I was sitting here, I could tell it was all meticulously planned. Flowers surrounded the central pavillon, and trees and climbing plants had been placed along the walls to give the illusion of space.


    I took a deep breath and took in the smells of nature. Having lived in the city for quite some time now, I had almost forgotten this feeling.


    My mind feeling calmer, I turned to Mili and waved at her before signing.


    -Don¡¯t Worry. I will warn you before I sign. You can relax.-


    She watched  attentively as I signed slowly. She signed back to herself and in an instant her posture relaxed. She let out a sigh which I could only imagine must have sounded very relieved.


    -Thank you.-


    She simply signed back with a smile.


    I nodded and went back to sipping tea. It had been a hectic few weeks since I moved here, so finally being able to just be at home felt like a blessing.


    I went to take another sip, but it seems that Mili had continuously refilled my cup and the teapot was now completely empty.


    I sat back on my seat and¡­


    Wait. What do I do now?


    Actually, what do I usually do?


    Normally, once the meal is over, Stash would bring me somewhere to shop for furniture, pick colours for clothes or take measurements. He would bring me out to go to church, give me writing lessons or take me out to play with Jade¡­


    I don¡¯t usually have nothing to do.


    I turned to Mili.


    -Is there anything else planned today?-


    I asked her, curious.


    She signed back to herself and thought for a few moments, but simply shook her head.


    [Uh. Nothing. That¡¯s¡­ Boring.]


    I said to Darkie.


    ¡°I guess it¡¯s been a long time since we¡¯ve been bored. At the orphanage there¡¯s always a game to play, a thing to clean or a class to learn, but Jade isn¡¯t here and the servants take care of cleaning.¡±


    He replied in his bunny voice.


    [That makes sense. I guess we could play together?]


    I suggested.


    ¡°Yeah, good idea! It¡¯s been a while!¡±


    [So what should we play?]


    ¡°Uh¡­¡±


    We both thought for a long moment but nothing came up at all.


    I felt a small poking sensation on my shoulder. I turned around to a smiling Mili, but I could tell from her shifting posture that she was getting ants in her legs.


    -Would you like to walk around?-


    Walking around?


    ¡°She¡¯s right! We haven¡¯t visited the house yet!¡±


    [Right! Let''s get her to show us everything!]


    It had completely slipped my mind.


    The house was huge, much bigger than the orphanage, but I had only visited the entrance hall, the dining room and my own bedroom. This was a perfect opportunity!


    -Yes please! I want to see everything!-


    She smiled excitedly at my enthusiastic response and without a second thought took me by the hand, short of yanking me out of my seat.

 41. A Dusty Manor

    As we began our tour, Mili gave me a quick layout of the house.


    The house consisted of three floors and a basement. The basement was for storage, the ground floor was used for work and and events, the second floor was where the household members lived and the third floor was used as a living space for servants along with some storage.


    We begun our visit in the lobby. I had been curious about the door just on the side of the main entrance and it turns out that it was a sitting room where guests would be welcomed. It looked very nice and comfortable so I tried to take a seat, but it raised a cloud of dust.


    Mili panicked and quickly patted me down from any dust ball that had stuck to my dress. As we left she had talked to some maids so it would get cleaned.


    From her messy explanation, I had figured out that the Baron had not been taking guests for a while and messengers were promptly dealt with without time given for them to sit down.


    It sounded a bit odd, but I decided not to pry into the issue for now.


    Next we continued down the lobby to the left and wound up in front of two large doors. She took a key chain from her apron and unlocked the doors.


    Beyond was a large room two floors tall. A gallery was visible above looking down on the venue. I immediately recognised what this was. It was a great hall where celebrations and official events were held, but the place was strangely cluttered and the podium where the master of the household¡¯s seat would usually be placed was empty. When I asked Mili about it, she simply stated that Lionheart had not held celebrations in a year and had permitted the staff to use the space for the knights while their barracks was renovated when winter started.


    One thing had led to another and the great hall was now more of a general storage space than anything fanciful.


    She smoothed over the place, obviously not too proud of the area herself and walked us through the hall to the side. It was the glass walls I had noticed from the garden. Mili explained that this was a greenhouse where one could sit in any temperature and season and appreciate the sunlight. It was also a perfect place to grow plants in all seasons and the maids had garnished the side of the windows with flowers and herbs.


    Mili then led me through a pantry back to the lobby before heading to the opposite side of the great hall.


    I was vaguely familiar with the area as this was where the dining room was. The front half was indeed made up of the dining room and an attached tea room while the back was occupied by a variety of rooms used by the staff for different tasks. There were many people running about their business so she avoided some of the more obscure rooms, but we still made a stop by the kitchen. We greeted the head chef who was all smiles when he noticed my presence. He even gave me a cookie before allowing us through toward a staircase heading downward.


    It seems he figured children might be curious about this type of place.


    It was much cooler and darker here and Mili had brought a lantern. She said it was one of her favourite places in the household since it looked like a castle or dungeon. But I felt slightly scared of going into such a dark and damp space.


    She explained that this part of the house was much older than the rest as the house proper had been renovated many times over, but the foundation had remained for generations. We walked past the different cold storage and came to a large reinforced wooden door.


    Scared, but curious, I asked what was on the other side, but she said staff weren¡¯t allowed. Only the knights and the lord could go there, but Mili said that there was a rumour amongst the maid that it led to an elaborate network of underground passageways that connected the whole of Evergreen, but that it sounded too far-fetched to her.


    We headed back the way we came to my great relief and headed to the second floor through the lobby.


    This was the same floor where my room was. We walked down the long hallways and Mili explained that these rooms were interchangeable in their use. Apparently, one of Lionheart¡¯s ancestors had many many children, and had always wished for them to have a place to return to in this household just as much as the one in their homeland.


    Curious, I asked her about Lionheart¡¯s homeland since it was the first time I had ever heard anyone bring it up.


    She became excited as she told me about it since it was apparently her native land as well. The Ashbrook household came from the Duchy of Norland, far to the north.


    My grand-father, Lionheart¡¯s father, was apparently the count of Clotop and resided in its capital of the same name. The estate was built in the centre of the city and looked like a castle. She had never set foot inside, but from what she told me, it appeared to be quite impressive.


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    We continued down the hallway where she pointed out a few key rooms such as the head maid¡¯s office, Stash¡¯s office, a few studies and libraries. She finally stopped at a door at the end of the corridor.


    -This is the Baron¡¯s chamber. Me not allowed inside. You ask later.-


    She explained in her broken language.


    I made a mental note of its location. My room faced the front of the estate and his the back, so I only had to walk straight down to reach it. It shouldn¡¯t be too difficult to remember.


    We headed back up the hallway and she showed me the way to the balcony overlooking the great hall. There were several more chambers here, but she stated that they were currently used for storage.


    We finally headed to the third floor. At this level, the space reserved for the lobby was no more and instead, a wide hall filled with paintings, statues, pottery, armor and weapons filled the space beyond two reinforced doors. From what Mili told me, those doors were closed during the night to avoid theft.


    I looked around at the paintings and stopped at one that seemed to depict Lionheart. He looked younger and healthier. The dark circles were absent underneath his eyes and he seemed content. There was a portrait next to his, depicting a woman. It was painted in a similar way.


    -Who is this beside, Lionheart?-


    I asked Mili, but she looked confused.


    -Sorry. Who Lionheart?-


    I pointed at his painting.


    -My father.-


    I explained.


    Her eyes lit up but then she frowned in confusion.


    -You call your dad ¡®Lionheart¡¯? Why not dad?-


    I shrugged at her question.


    It was still unfamiliar to me. The idea that there could be someone else I could call dad other than my own.


    Seeing my expression she looked at the painting I had pointed at and carried on with an explanation.


    -This Mistress ???. Master Ashbrook¡¯s wife.-


    -His wife?-


    I replied surprised to which she only nodded.


    I thought he wasn¡¯t married¡­


    I looked at her. She had beautiful silver hair and eyes, a near perfect Seeir lineage and more importantly¡­


    -She¡¯s so pretty¡­-


    ¡­And looks familiar. As if I had met her before, but never in my life had I met anyone with such striking silver features.


    -Where is she now?-


    Mili shook her head. A sombre expression on her face.


    -She died. Half  year ago before winter.-


    I felt a pit build itself in my stomach. Something clicked in my mind.


    That day we met in the church.


    Lionheart¡¯s distraught expression.


    The tears he shed as he told me a story I knew nothing about.


    He was mourning. He¡¯s probably still mourning.


    I bit my lip and distanced myself from the painting. Looking at it made me feel guilty. As if I had somehow taken her place, but at the same time I felt jealous. Was it because of her that Lionheart was so distant? Why else was it that he had not spent that much time with me since I came here?


    Suddenly, Mili perked up as if she had just heard something. I looked at her curiously, waiting for an explanation. She turned back to me and smiled.


    -Master is arriving. We go greet him?-


    Lionheart is back!? My previous thoughts completely vanished form my mind.


    I recall Stash said Lionheart wouldn¡¯t come back before evening!


    I nodded energetically at her suggestion and, this time, it was my turn to take Mili by the hand and drag her down the stairs two by two.


    I got to the lobby and was about to rush for the door, but Mili held me back.


    -We wait inside, my lady. When master enter, we greet. It is rules.-


    Uh? That sounds boring¡­


    ¡°But maybe Lionheart will be upset if we break the rules? We should listen to her this time.¡±


    Darkie said to me from between my arms.


    He was right so I relented and stood by Mili¡¯s side while facing the door. Stash momentarily joined us in the lobby and greeted me with a smile. He headed for the door and opened it.


    As soon as I saw Lionheart¡¯s fiery red hair, I couldn¡¯t contain myself anymore.


    Seeing me run toward him, Lionheart turned to me.


    I was about to wrap my arms around him, but froze.


    My muscles refused to respond as my mind registered what my eyes had already seen.


    Something¡­. Something¡¯s wrong.


    My mind told me he was angry. That he wanted to hurt me.


    A cold chill ran through my scalp and cold sweat immediately formed on my forehead.


    [Ahh¡­]


    I could only let a quiet moan escape my lips before I dropped to my knees.


    My eyes were locked on Lionheart as tears pooled in my eyes. He slowly approached me.


    I tried to back away, but my knees were locked and I fell to my side pathetically.


    [I-I¡¯m sorry!]


    I said, but it was already too late. Too late. I will be punished.


    [I¡¯ll be good! I¡¯ll stand still next time! Please don¡¯t¡­]


    I tried to plead as he continued approaching me, but to no effect.


    As he did, all I could do was look at his hand.


    There, held tightingly in his palm, was a tool  I was all too familiar with.


    A tool designed to administer punishment.


    To administer pain.


    In his hand was a horse crop.

 42. What is a father?

    Without a moment''s warning, Silika collapsed right before my eyes just as I entered the house.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on?! Alzan! Call the doctor immediately!¡±


    I ordered the head butler who, without hesitation, rushed out of the door.


    I looked back at Silika, but her expression was blank.


    ¡°Uhng¡­¡±


    She let out unintelligible noise as tears pooled in her eyes.


    Panicking I tried to reach out to her, but she fell backward, a terrified look in her face. At her side, I noticed Gelsare¡¯s daughter panicking as well.


    Was today the day she was starting as her playmate? I should have been there for that¡­


    The girl tried to reach out to Silika, but I stopped her with a hand movement.


    ¡°Don¡¯t. It might make it worse.¡±


    I turned back to Silika.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay sweetie. There¡¯s no bad people around.¡±


    I said out loud as I approached her.


    I knew she couldn¡¯t hear it, but Delian had recommended doing so anyway.


    He explained that acting in a calm and kind manner when Silika panicked would help her feel less threatened and keep me from panicking as well, but her eyes remained the same, focused on an empty point in front of her.


    ¡°Hnnnnnnngggg¡­..¡±


    She started wheezing and moaning painfully.


    A passerby could easily mistake it for the cries of a dying animal. Never would they have guessed that its true nature was much more morbid.


    ¡°There¡¯s no monster, Silika. I took care of all the bad people today. No one can hurt you now.¡±


    I said as I carefully walked toward her, but she panicked again and fell over to her side as she tried to back away.


    ¡°Uh Syieee!¡±


    She suddenly yelled in my direction, fear plastered across her face.


    Was she afraid of me?


    ¡°It¡¯s me, Silika! Marshall! Lionheart! Dad!¡±


    I said, but felt a pang of guilt at the last one, but dismissed the feeling. Now was not the time.


    I kept walking slowly in her direction, but I could see her panic was climbing, what do I do? What would Delian do? What would the Bishop do?


    ¡°Ulh gooooo! Uh ta nu tu! Plea don¡­¡±


    Her breathing became erratic. It¡¯s about to happen. I need to act.


    She opened her mouth, tears completely clouding her eyes and a painful expression straining her face.


    There was no time left for hesitation.


    It was only at that moment I realised that my hands were clasped tight from stress.


    Without a moment of hesitation, I dropped everything, grabbed Silika and held her tightly.


    ¡°Oh Steinnher¡­¡±


    I prayed and Immediately, Silika let out a piercing screech.


    I rushed toward the second floor, toward her room, before anyone else got hurt.


    ¡°Oh Steinnher, lest I forget. Please, lest I forget.¡±


    Luckily it seems Steihnner¡¯s blessing was holding up, but how long?


    I closed the door behind us and walked to the bed. Her screaming continued.


    I¡¯m scared.


    Not for me, but for her.


    What if this never ends? What if this pain never leaves her?


    I shook away the thought. No not now. Silika needs me now.


    There must be something.


    I need a solution. I don¡¯t know any blessings like the Bishop, so there must be something from the orphanage¡­


    I remembered a story Delian told me about the first day he met Silika. The first time she panicked at the orphanage¡­ It¡¯s worth a try.


    I cleared my throat and took a deep breath.


    I need to be calm. I need to be steady. It won¡¯t work if I¡¯m not calm.


    I took one last breath before starting.


    ¡°Please do not cry for me, The other birds will hear you¡­¡±


    I sang as slowly and as calmly as I could


    Her screams turned to wailing. I could feel the pressure on my ears becoming almost too much to bear but I couldn¡¯t leave. Not without her.


    I pushed on.


    ¡°And their tears as well, Will be shed but for you. I am but an ageing crow¡­¡±


    She choked on her own voice and her breathing became raspy, but the screaming did not stop.


    ¡°...Whose wing can fly no more. And you are a young swallow, Who has yet to see the shore¡­¡±


    Her arms started thrashing about uncontrollably and her head tilted up. I held on to her and gently grasped the back of her head so she wouldn¡¯t hurt her neck.


    ¡°...So do not cry for me. The other birds will hear you. I have seen many dew. And have flown many winds¡­¡±


    Between two screaming fits, Silika started coughing uncontrollably. I gently rubbed her back until her breathing started again.


    ¡°...Yet when I¡¯m with you. I forget it all, but your grins.¡±


    I took a deep breath as I held on to her. Tears were still flowing from her eyes as she cried, but the screaming seemed to have passed.


    ¡°So do not cry for me. Do not grieve for me. Do not shed tears for me. I want you to feel the wind. And your laughter to fill the clouds.¡±


    Slowly the wheezing coming from her throat became quiet and her breathing became less erratic. I patted her back as I slowly rocked her side to side.


    ¡°When this dream becomes true. Only then, please sing a song. And I will shed your tears. While the other birds love you for me.¡±


    By the time I finished the song, her breathing had steadied. She was still crying profusely and coughing painfully, but at least she wasn¡¯t hurting anymore. I continued embracing her and sang back the song to her several times, until Alzan slowly opened the door and quietly walked to the bedside, water carafe in hand.


    He poured a glass and brought it to me.


    ¡°For the lady, my lord.¡±


    I nodded approvingly and slowly loosened my embrace with Silika. She sniffled and lazily wiped the tears from her eyes. They looked tired and unfocused.


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    She tried to look up at me, but it looked difficult and painful. I showed her the glass of water and she slowly nodded before grabbing it with both her hands. They looked unsteady so I supported the glass from the bottom so it wouldn¡¯t spill. After a few long gulps, she gave the glass back to me.


    ¡°Shall I fetch the young lady Milie Gelzare, my lord.¡±


    I glanced up at Alzan and then back down at Silika.


    ¡°Give us a few minutes.¡±


    ¡°As you wish.¡±


    He bowed and gracefully left the room.


    I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.


    Now that things have settled down, I need to understand what happened. I was about to ask something from Silika, but her eyes were focused elsewhere.


    I followed her eyes and spotted her bunny rabbit plush on the nightstand, Alzan had probably picked it up and placed it there. I stretched my arm and handed it to her.


    [Agh shf gnn.]


    She mumbled some words as she hugged it tightly.


    I sat her down more comfortably on my knees before I addressed her.


    -Why were you scared, Silika?-


    I asked her.


    She looked surprised at my question and looked up at me, almost as if to tell whether I was being honest. She stared straight into my eyes for a few seconds before looking down and looking at her hands.


    -The stick.-


    She simply said.


    -What stick, Silika?-


    -The horse stick.-


    Horse stick¡­ Does she mean the horse crop? I was holding one when entering the house, but¡­


    -Why are you scared of the horse stick?-


    -It hurts.-


    I guess it does, but so do swords and knives¡­ She¡¯s never been scared of those.


    -Horse sticks are only for horses. They¡¯re don¡¯t hurt humans.-


    She looked up at me again. Straight into my eyes.


    -They hurt me.-


    I suddenly felt sick.


    As she moved her hands, the collar of her dress shifted and I saw the long streak on her collarbone. The same that covered her entire body.


    I had spent many nights wondering what could have been used to cause such injuries, and now¡­ I know.


    I almost wish I didn¡¯t, but I needed to.


    I need to understand her pain so I can deserve to be called her father.


    A small bit of tears formed in the corner of her eyes, but she whipped it away quickly and looked down at her rabbit plush.


    ¡°I gdw gnn.¡±


    She whispered to it. Sometimes I wish I could switch places with it and be the one she whispered all those secrets to.


    She sat there quietly.


    I wanted to reassure her, but the words didn¡¯t come to me, or rather, I felt as though I wasn¡¯t the right person to tell them to her.


    I looked up at the door. I could hear the sound of shifting cloth. The girl and Alzan must be waiting.


    ¡°You can come in.¡±


    It was not a moment later that Alzan and Milie Gelsare entered the room. I could tell the girl had been crying. Despite being twice Silika¡¯s age, I guess she¡¯s still a child.


    They approached us and Milie kneeled at the side of the bed facing Silika.


    -I sorry! I sorry! You okay?-


    Silika looked at her for a moment and nodded.


    ¡°You didn¡¯t do anything wrong Milie, don¡¯t worry.¡±


    I told the girl as I lifted Silika and sat her on the bed.


    ¡°I¡¯m glad t¡¯hear it, m¡¯lord. Will Sil¨C... Will m¡¯lady be alright?¡±


    Truly a Gelzare. She speaks the same way her father does.


    I nodded.


    ¡°She will. Please take good care of her from now on.¡±


    She bowed respectfully.


    ¡°I will, m¡¯lord. Thank you for trustin¡¯ me.¡±


    She declared before turning back to Silika and yet again asking her for her well being.


    I looked at Silika as well.


    I should say something here. Something that sounds reassuring and father-like¡­


    I placed my hand on her small pink head which surprised her and she turned to me.


    -Be strong, okay? I¡¯m always there if you need my help.-


    Silika seemed unsure about something for a second but then nodded.


    -Okay.-


    I turned to Stash and Milie and smiled.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t we have Silika take a bath? I¡¯m sure it would make her feel better after a long day.¡±


    ¡°Well advised, sir. I will have the maids bring a tub and hot water. I¡¯m sure Ms Gelzare wouldn¡¯t mind attending?¡±


    Milie nodded at the suggestion.


    ¡°I don¡¯ mind, sir.¡±


    I turned back to Silika and smiled.


    -I will see you at dinner, okay?-


    She had a complicated expression on her face, but she eventually nodded.


    -Okay.-


    I stood up and after smiling at them one last time I left the room followed by Alzan.


    We walked some distance before I said anything.


    ¡°Anything to report?¡±


    The butler nodded seriously.


    ¡°I left a more complete report on your desk related to the ¡®meat¡¯ matter, if you wish to consult, but I fear it raised more questions than it answered.¡±


    ¡°Elaborate.¡±


    Alzan opened the door to my office on the third floor and closed the door behind us. I picked up the report he left on my desk. As I started reading he explained.


    ¡°From my current understanding, I believe that the lady¡¯s ability to digest meat products comes from the heavily carnivorous diet of her strong Seeir ancestry counteracting her obvious Meiriem descent¡­¡±


    ¡°Wait, Seeir? Are you sure you understood right?¡±


    I interrupted him to which he nodded.


    ¡°Positive, my lord. As a matter of fact, it is the Scorn blood which appears to be completely absent from her family tree.¡±


    I took a moment and read over his notes. There truly was nothing remotely hinting at Scorn blood. Perhaps she¡¯s an illegitimate child. Could this be the reason behind...?


    ¡°There are two more things, my lord.¡±


    I looked up from the paper, finally understanding why he had waited until I was seated to explain everything.


    ¡°Speak.¡±


    He nodded and continued.


    ¡°The lady claims her eyes weren¡¯t always gold but were instead silver.¡±


    I nodded.


    ¡°Post-natal trait development. I¡¯ve heard of it, although I heard it only occurs in infants.¡±


    ¡°As you just said, my lord. It is suspicious that this process occurred to a child her age.¡±


    I rubbed the stubbles on my chin.


    ¡°Theories?¡±


    He shook his head sadly.


    ¡°None that are too pleasant. We may wish to consult a physician¡­ Speaking of which, the doctor you requested is still here. Shall we have him examine the lady?¡±


    I nodded.


    ¡°Please do. Also mention the trait development, but double his pay to make sure he keeps quiet. We don¡¯t need my daughter¡¯s heritage becoming public knowledge on the information market.¡±


    The butler bowed and started heading for the door.


    ¡°Wait. You mentioned there were two more things. What¡¯s the other?¡±


    ¡°Oh, by Diid, I almost forgot! When I questioned the lady regarding her Scorn heritage, she brought up something interesting. Apparently, she has only ever met a single scorn descendant in her life before¡­ Well before. A maid who lived in the same household who she grew very close to. She¡¯s the one who made the rabbit plush the lady is always carrying around.¡±


    Alzan turned to the door and started leaving, but turned back toward me one last time.


    ¡°She seemed¡­ Quite fond of her.¡±


    After a moment of hesitation, he gave an uncertain nod and closed the door behind him.


    I once more read Alzan''s notes and as he said, this answer brought on just as many questions.


    There were a lot of information we had already gathered on Silika beforehand, but this was something new.


    From her mannerism and the information Delian had disclosed, she appeared to be from a noble household, most likely in the eastern part of the kingdom. They appeared to have been assiduous Meiriem believer, which in turn has made Silika spiteful of the religion.


    Her deafness is also not innate and would have been acquired as a result of some accident in the last year or so.


    Lastly, we know for a fact that both her mother and father were the main perpetrator in her mistreatment.


    I had tried to get more information out of Delian, who apparently had had a direct correspondence with at least one member of the original household, but he was bound by a blessed contract to never disclose past information regarding the orphans beyond what these ones had allowed.


    For their own safety.


    I let out a long sigh, dug through my desk, and pulled out a carafe of whiskey and a glass. I poured the copper liquid into the glass and spun it a few times before taking a sip.


    I felt the alcohol spread from my throat to my whole body.


    It might not resolve issues, but it sure made the symptoms more manageable¡­


    What a day.


    At least the Green Palace had paid off and the heir issue was taken care of.


    As of today, Silika was officially recognised as Lilica¡¯s and my daughter.


    The official story was that Silika was born shortly after Lilica and I first got married in secret some six years ago and that she had been kept a secret and lived with distant relatives until we could get our partent¡¯s approval for marriage, but Lilica died before this came to pass. After the fact, she had been sent in hiding at a local orphanage until she could be arranged to come live with me.


    The story had just the right amount of lies, truth, and uncertainty to grease the right people¡¯s pockets and let it pass as official in front of the court.


    Of course, I could now expect the same doubts coming from Lilica¡¯s family and my own, but I was confident it wouldn¡¯t be an issue¡­ As long as I get Silika to correlate it.


    I¡¯ll have to earn her trust first before we do that.


    I let out a sigh and took another sip from my drink.


    I think I underestimated Delian¡¯s words from back then.


    I had thought he meant that Silika was temperamental or simply moody, but now I understood the real meaning of his words.


    It was one crisis after another. Anything could send her into a panic and one misplaced word could see her mood spiral down.


    I always feel like I¡¯m doing something wrong and I know I¡¯ve been relying on Alzan too much¡­


    I need to start acting like an actual father, but I¡¯m afraid that I¡¯ll fail¡­


    Or worse, that I¡¯ll hurt her.

 43. Night Terrors

    -Goodnight, my lady. Have good dream.-


    Mili signed after tucking me into bed, Darkie at my side.


    -Goodnight, Milie. See you tomorrow.-


    She smiled and headed for the door waving goodbye as she did.


    I turned to my side and looked through the window. It was the beginning of summer and the sun was still high in the sky even when it was time for me to go to bed.


    I rolled back on my back and lifted Darkie above me, his golden buttons staring straight into my eyes.


    I brought him back down to my chest and hugged him tightly.


    [Do you think they will ever fade away?]


    ¡°Do you mean your scars?¡±


    I nodded while thinking back on earlier.


    That is that today, I took my first real bath in months.


    At the orphanage and even the estate when I was sick, I only got to clean my body using a bucket of tepid water and a sponge. A real hot bath felt like a dream come true.


    After removing my clothes that had become imbued with sweat, tears and snot from my earlier tantrum, I felt liberated. After a few awkward moments waiting, Milie had carefully helped me get into the bath.


    At first, the warmth of the water stung my skin, but after a few seconds I had gotten used to the feeling and was able to relax.


    I dumped my head underneath the water, letting my worries be washed away by the warmth before re-emerging into the refreshingly cool air of the room.


    Using soap and a scrubber, Mili started cleaning me up. At first it felt good and cleansing, but after a bit it became hard and rugged. When her scrubbing started pinching my skin I turned angrily.


    -Stop that! It hurts!-


    She had a surprised look on her face, but quickly apologised.


    -I sorry, lady. But there is a lot of dirt that no wash off.-


    -What dirt?-


    She lifted my arm and showed me one of the many yellowed and red scars on my arm. I yanked my arm away from her by reflex and hid it beneath the bubbles of the bath.


    -It¡¯s not dirt. It¡¯s my skin.-


    She looked shocked for a second before looking down in shame.


    -Sorry.-


    I shook my head and laid back down in the tub.


    -It¡¯s ok. I don¡¯t mind.-


    I signed nonchalantly, but I wasn¡¯t sure I believed it myself.


    Did it truly not bother me at all? Or was it a wall I put between myself and the memories these stains on my body were attached to?


    After the bath, the rest of the day went by in a flash.


    I had been so out of it that I don¡¯t even remember what it was we ate, but now that I laid in bed, I felt a sudden wave of clarity. So clear in fact, I didn¡¯t even feel sleepy.


    I brought Darkie back down to my chest and squeezed him.


    Why is it that I feel a pit in my stomach when I think about Mili¡¯s comment? I don¡¯t think I feel angry with her.


    If anything, I feel thankful to have such an honest and energetic person around. I feel like we might actually become friends with time.


    But her words¡­


    Specifically that word:


    ¡®dirt¡¯


    Why does it make me feel so¡­ strange?


    I pulled back the sleeve of my nightgown and looked at the scar. There were countless marks on my body, but there was one in particular that stood out; the one on my left forearm. While a lot of them had been surface marks that were fading a bit more every day, this one looked almost the same as it had the first time I laid eyes on it.


    Long, bulgy, brownish and pink. It looked ugly. Back when I first arrived at the orphanage, I had picked at the scar since they itched so much after the balm dried, but I had learned to leave them be, otherwise they would start bleeding again.


    Right now, staring at it, I didn¡¯t really feel anything looking at it other than a weak sense of disgust.


    I brought the arm back down to my side.


    Lionheart. What does he think of them? Does he know I have this ¡®dirt¡¯ on me? Would he hate it?


    I started thinking about what happened earlier.


    I really thought he was going to hit me¡­


    But he didn¡¯t. He didn¡¯t at all. He picked me up and hugged me. I think it¡¯s the first time he hugged me¡­


    It was warm. It was nice.


    I wish he had stayed longer. Maybe I should ask him to give me my bath next time, that could be fun!


    A shadow suddenly covered the room. I glanced toward and noticed clouds covering the setting sun¡­ It¡¯s going to rain tonight. I should go to sleep before it gets dark.


    I turned to my side while hugging Darkie and closed my eyes.


    I waited for sleep to take me, so my worries could be washed away by rest and a better day to start.


    When I was younger, I didn¡¯t feel the same way. Back then, I used to dream at night. I would be transported to fantastical places my sister told me about.


    I would go on wild adventures and become a princess, a knight or even a dragon¡­ I would visit places I had never seen and even fly across the sky.


    Now that I look back, it was truly a strange experience. Living a life that isn¡¯t mine. Doing impossible things and then just¡­ Waking up.


    As if nothing happened.


    I felt a wave of exhaustion and, before I noticed, I was asleep.


    It felt like only an instant had passed when I felt my bed shake and woke up.


    I opened my eyes, but I couldn¡¯t see anything. Confused, I thought that perhaps my blanket covered my face, but when I stretched my arm out, I only felt the cold air of the night.


    At the tip of my fingers, a small sliver of light flashed on my nails.


    Confused, I sat up and turned in the direction of the light source, but it was gone. The only thing I could see was the contour of the window and the light of faraway lampposts.


    Did I wake up during the night? That doesn¡¯t usually happen¡­


    I felt a cool gust of wind pass through my pyjamas. Instinctively, I looked around the room. There usually wasn¡¯t any wind in the room¡­ Did Mili leave the door open?


    A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.


    I looked in the direction of the door, but all I saw was darkness. I kept staring until I could see the rough outline of the door frame and it looked closed.


    Strange¡­


    Confused and a bit scared, I laid back down in bed and tried to go back to sleep.


    I went to hug Darkie, but I noticed he was gone from my arms.


    I reached out further to the side of the bed, but he wasn¡¯t there either.


    I looked on my other side of the bed and underneath the pillow, but nothing.


    [Darkie?]


    I called out in the dark, but no answer. I felt anxious, I couldn¡¯t tell where he had gone¡­ Maybe he went for a walk?


    I could try to look for him around the room¡­


    A bit scared, but determined, I poked my foot from underneath the blanket toward the side of the bed. I glanced down, but all I could see was pitch darkness. I shuddered, but still tried to slowly lower my leg down the side of the mattress to find the floor.


    It felt like whole minutes passed by as I slowly lowered my foot, but still no floor. When almost half my body was dangling down, I felt another cold breeze wash over me.


    The cold made my skin crawl and I retreated back into the blanket.


    I want to see Darkie but¡­


    [I¡¯m going to go find you tomorrow, okay?]


    Still no answers.


    Worried he didn¡¯t hear me and that he would think I abandoned him, I scooched to the side of the bed and looked in the direction of the darkness and repeated.


    [Okay?]


    Suddenly a bright light appeared on the wall I was facing before disappearing almost instantly.


    Surprised, I jumped back and grabbed a pillow to shield me.


    Did I imagine it? But I could still see the faint outline on the¡­ A strong vibration ran through my bed. I let out a quiet yelp and hid underneath my blanket.


    What¡¯s going on? Is someone breaking the house? Are we under attack?


    Worried, I poked my head outside the blanket and surveyed the room from my safe spot underneath the blanket.


    I couldn¡¯t see much in the darkness, but if something was¡­


    Another bright light suddenly illuminated the room, and in that instant, I saw it.


    On the wall facing me. It was there. Long and broken tendrils for limbs, a large black blob for a body, something was in my room.


    And it wasn¡¯t Mili or a member of the household.


    What did Mili say about the door in the basement earlier? That led to underground tunnels? Some bad things live underground. Maybe that¡¯s where it came from.


    The bed shook again.


    It¡¯s crawling around the room. It''s coming for me.


    I need to¡­


    Before I could finish my thought. There was a flash of light and the ground shook so hard I thought the ground would collapse underneath me.


    A strong gust of glacial wind washed over me. I turned around and noticed in my horror that the monster had broken the window.


    Wet from the rain pouring through the hole in the window and scared for my life, I jumped out of my bed and ran for the door.


    I tried to turn the handle, but I couldn¡¯t grip it with my wet hand. I looked frantically around, worried the monster would strike at any time.


    I need to open the door.


    I tried to use my sleeves, but they were just as wet. I was finally able to use the hem of my gown to open the door, and stormed out of the room, closing the door behind me.


    It should slow it down, but where do I go?


    Another flash of light made my heart jump and illuminated the long hallway in front of me.


    Think Silika, think! I need to get to safety! I need to get to¡­


    Lionheart! He¡¯ll protect me!


    If I remember right, Mili said his room was at the end of the hallway. So I just need to walk straight to get there.


    I pushed myself off the door and a shiver washed over me.


    My clothes were completely drenched and it seemed that it wasn¡¯t just my room that had breeze in it¡­


    Wait, is the breeze when the monsters get in? But then that means¡­ There might be more. I should hurry!


    I walked across the intersection toward the rest of the hallway.


    My feet felt as if they were burning from walking on the cold bare tiled floor.


    I reached the other side of the intersection and peeked outside the window. The inner garden was completely dark.


    From this angle, all I could see was the great hall which was equally covered in darkness.


    A great flash of light illuminated the garden and revealed hundreds of long dark tendrils all over the garden¡­ They¡¯re everywhere.


    I dropped to the floor to avoid being seen. The fear made me tear up and I could feel a hiccup coming up to my lip and I covered my mouth.


    I might not be able to hear them, but they probably could hear me.


    I distanced myself from the windows and hugged the wall instead. A soft vibration ran through the hall, but it wasn¡¯t as strong as before.


    They must be getting further away, this is my chance.


    I continued walking down the hallway passing many doors on my way. During the day I had not noticed, but there were truly many rooms in this house. More than I had ever seen. It made me think that this hallway would go on forever.


    A flash of light shone through the darkness but I closed my eyes. I knew that if I looked I would find more monsters and I would freeze from the fear. I can¡¯t stop, I have to get to Lionheart¡¯s room.


    As I stood there, eyes closed, the water from my soaked nightgown kept trickling down my body giving me uncomfortable shivers. I opened my eyes once more and started walking, but almost immediately fell forward. The tiles had gotten slippery from the water that had pooled underneath me and now I was sprawled across the floor.


    The pain, the fear¡­ It became too much and the tears started pouring like a torrent from my eyes. I couldn¡¯t hold my mouth closed anymore and started crying my heart out.


    I glanced back toward my room just as another flash of light illuminated the hallway.


    The door. It was wide open.


    It got out. It must have heard me.


    Terrified, I gave away caution and bolted down the hall and finally reached the last door.


    It was bigger and heavier than mine, but I was able to push it open.


    [Lionheart!]


    I screamed into the room as the heavy door swung open.


    I walked inside, but it was completely dark.


    [Lionheart?]


    I called again, but there was no response.


    Maybe he¡¯s asleep?


    I was scared of walking into complete darkness, but the knowledge that Lionheart was there gave me courage.


    As I walked deeper in, I felt something hard underneath my foot.


    Uh?


    I bent over and picked it up.


    Is that¡­ A hairbrush?


    Why is it on the floor?


    A flash of light illuminated the room and, to my horror, I understood.


    The entire room was upside down. The cabinets, the drawers, pieces of clothing, even the bed sheet. All of it was strewn across the floor.


    [Lionheart¡­?]


    Did¡­


    [D¡­Dad?]


    ¡­The monster¡­?


    My body started trembling uncontrollably.


    I started stumbling backward toward the exit.


    [Lionheart? Dad?]


    I looked at my hands, they were trembling so hard they looked like a blur.


    Another flash of light illuminated the room again and in the fabric I saw red spots.


    A disgusting feeling came up from my guts.


    I hurled.


    I couldn¡¯t keep it in. My body simply couldn¡¯t take it.


    I stumbled back into the hallway. I barely made it to the window before my knees gave out.


    Lionheart¡­ You¡­ I¡­


    The two of us¡­ Just became family¡­


    [Dad¡­]


    I whispered to myself.


    [Dad¡­Dad¡­Dad¡­]


    I started crying uncontrollably. I didn¡¯t care about the monsters. They could eat me, I didn¡¯t care.


    I want my dad! I just got him, and never got to call him that! Why did they take him away?


    I huddled into a ball and watched as the rain scattered along the window.


    By Me (Waurpel)


    Why did the monsters do this? Why did they take my Lionheart? Why did they take my dad?


    I tucked my head into my knees and squeezed it down with my hands.


    I just want to disappear.


    To become nothing.


    Maybe there I will be reunited with my dad.


    As I felt the darkness slowly swallowing me up, I noticed a warm light appearing from the corner of my eye.


    For a moment I felt relieved, but it was too late.


    I didn¡¯t care about being safe anymore. I just wanted¡­


    When I looked up I couldn¡¯t believe my eyes.


    Carrying a lamp, right in front of me, was Lionheart.


    [L¡­Lionheart..!]


    I felt a great sense of relief wash over my body.


    His face was gaunt and tired, I could see worry written all over his face.


    [I¡­ I¡¯m so¡­]


    I tried to get up but my leg had gone completely limp.


    [...Relieved!]


    I looked down and closing my eyes. I really thought he was gone for good.


    I felt myself being picked up and nestled somewhere warm.


    I opened to being held in his arms and slowly rocked side to side. I could feel a soft rumbling on his chest. It felt nostalgic, but I couldn¡¯t tell why.


    I wrapped my arms around his neck and squeezed as hard as my arms could manage.


    [Dad.]


    I said in a weak voice


    He stood there, frozen for a moment.


    [Dad. Dad. Please don¡¯t leave me. Dad.]


    After a moment, both his arms enveloped me tightly, and we stayed like this for a long time.

 44. By the fireplace

    My soaked clothes and the cool wind made me shiver as I was carried down the hallway.


    As we got closer to the open door leading to my room, I tried to tell dad about the monster, but the way he held me made it so I couldn¡¯t sign to him.


    [Monster! Monster! There¡¯s a monster! Careful! Monster!]


    I yelled as we got close, realising he was about to step in, but it didn¡¯t stop him.


    He crossed the threshold, lamp in hand, but to my surprise there were no monsters. My window was still broken and the rain was pouring in, but there were no monsters at all. Not even a trace.


    Suddenly I remembered something important.


    [Darkie! We need to get Darkie!]


    He stopped walking and looked down at me curiously.


    [Darkie! Darkie!]


    Even if I wanted to sign, I didn¡¯t know how to spell his name. So I kept repeating his name while pointing toward the bed. His brow furrowed. Probably misunderstanding what I meant.


    [DARKIE! Darkie!]


    I repeated while pointing.


    He looked toward the bed. Suddenly a spark lit up in his eyes and he headed to the side of the bed and bent over as I gripped his neck so as to not fall.


    Once he straightened back up, he had the bunny in hand and gave him to me.


    [Darkie! I was so scared! Are you ok?]


    ¡°I¡¯m fine Silika, but the monster¡­!¡±


    I shook my head


    [We¡¯re fine now. Dad scared them away, I think.]


    ¡°Dad?¡±


    I nodded.


    ¡°Ah! I see! Dad!¡±


    If Darkie could move, I¡¯m sure he would be nodding wisely like Hare used to do when he was teaching me.


    While I was busy talking to Darkie, Lionheart approached the broken window. After looking around for a moment, he turned around and picked up Sparrow from the top of my closet.


    I had been so scared that I had completely forgotten about him! I¡¯m so sorry Sparrow¡­


    Dad whispered a few words to it and it flew away.


    Looking around one last time and seeing I had calmed down, Lionheart turned back toward the hallway, leaving the room in darkness.


    We headed toward the stairs and headed up the stairs toward the third floor.


    Third floor? Why there?


    I guess we can¡¯t go to his room since it¡¯s all messy but¡­ Wait. Why was his room so messy in the first place?


    We reached the top of the stairs. It felt warmer up here. Maybe it was because the third floor was mostly made of wood? Wood always felt warmer than stones. We turned left and he stopped for a moment in front of a set of closed doors. I recognised the place. It was where I saw the portraits. Lionheart, dad, looked at it longingly.


    I felt a sudden shiver run through my body all the way up to my nose.


    [Tchoo!]


    It might be warmer here, but my clothes are still soaked and cold¡­


    Noticing my discomfort, Lionheart shook himself from his torpor and continued walking. We reached the intersection and he opened the door. Immediately warmth washed over me. Beyond the threshold, a flame gently danced in the fireplace illuminating a study packed with books, memorabilia and strange apparatus. The room was built in the corner of the mansion and so the walls were slightly inclined where the roof met the room. Windows were fitted in alcoves all along the walls and even at night, I could tell the view must have been quite impressive.


    There was something¡­ Calming about the room.


    The desk was a mess and I could see trays, plates and glasses scattered about the different surfaces, but when looking at the equally scattered books and letters, it all came together and gave the room a feeling of familiarity.


    He walked right in and sat me on a red couch facing the fire.


    Lionheart disappeared from my vision for a second before coming back with a towel in hand.


    He patted me down and removed as much of the water as he could, but the dress was completely soaked through and the raging fire in front of me only served to make it stick uncomfortably to my skin.


    -Let¡¯s get you out of that dress. Otherwise you will get sick.-


    Dad signed to me.


    I nodded in agreement and lifted my arms high, waiting patiently. After a few moments of waiting, I turned to Lionheart expectantly.


    Why wasn¡¯t he pulling it up for me?


    His expression was uncomfortable but after a few more moments of patient staring, he finally helped me remove the soaked dress which he promptly hung on the back of a nearby chair. He wrapped me up in the blanket and rubbed my arms and back strongly to soak out any and all remaining water.


    [Ah-!]


    A sneeze was coming up in my nose. It felt uncomfortable as it stayed in place for a few seconds before coming, tickling my throat as it did.


    [Choo!]


    -Are you cold?-


    Lionheart signed to which I nodded.


    His lips pursed in a guilty expression and he picked me up, still wrapped in the towel. He got closer to the fire and sat me down on his knee. He stared into the flame for a few moments and I followed his gaze.


    The fire was very pretty. It looked like small red dancers frolicking about. I felt calmer as I watched them and my eyes became heavier.


    -Why did you go down the hallway?-


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    Dad asked me, taking me out of my daze.


    I tried to rub away the sleepiness from my eyes before answering.


    -I was scared of the monsters.-


    I simply answered.


    Wouldn¡¯t it have been more dangerous to stay in my room?


    -Monsters?-


    He replied.


    I couldn¡¯t see his expression, but I could tell from his wavering hands that he was confused.


    -Yes. The one from the basement. They got in my room and in the backyard. They even broke my window! I was scared they would eat me¡­-


    I explained with trembling hands.


    I felt a palm on my head as Lionheart gently ruffled through my hair.


    -That must have been scary.-


    I nodded as I curled into a ball.


    His leg was so big that I could almost fit entirely on top of it. I tapped my toes on the soft fabric of the pants for a bit before bringing my feet back down to the rough carpet. The contrast felt interesting.


    -But why did you go there? There are plenty of servants still up elsewhere at this hour.-


    Is that right? Even when it¡¯s dark. Regardless, it wasn¡¯t what I had been thinking of back then, so I shook my head.


    -I was looking for you.-


    -For me?-


    I nodded.


    -So you could protect me from the monsters.-


    But you weren¡¯t there¡­ And your room was¡­


    Suddenly I remembered something important.


    -Daddy! I think the monsters got in your room! They broke everything!-


    Lionheart smiled sadly.


    -No it wasn¡¯t the monsters. The room was already like that. There are no monsters in the mansion.-


    I frowned.


    -But I saw them! There was one in my room and a ton of them in the garden!-


    He rubbed his chin for a second.


    Why did he look so calm? Was he convinced? Or maybe he didn¡¯t believe me¡­ Maybe he¡¯s thinking about how to get rid of the monsters!


    -What did the monsters look like, Silika?-


    I tried to remember. They were hard to see in the dark, but I guess the big light they made was at least a clue.


    -They were¡­ Dark¡­ And tangly! They looked like big spiders with snakes for legs!-


    After a short pause, he signed to me.


    -Did the monsters look something like this?-


    He extended his hand and spread his fingers wide and with his other hand he pointed to the back of the room.


    Curious, I followed his finger. Far against the wall, I saw the faint outline of his fingers.


    -The shadow?-


    He nodded and I looked again.


    It looked vaguely similar, but I had difficulty keeping my eyes open from the fatigue.


    -But they made big lights¡­-


    That¡¯s right! I didn¡¯t imagine that. The monsters made HUGE lights!


    -That¡¯s lightning.-


    Lightning?


    -What¡¯s lightning?-


    Lionheart looked perplexed.


    I was on the verge of falling asleep but I wanted to know.


    -Lightning¡­ Is something¡­ The sky does when he¡¯s angry.-


    The sky gets¡­ angry? Who''s the god of the sky? Is there one? I can¡¯t remember¡­.


    -I¡­ see¡­-


    I don¡¯t remember anything after that beyond Lionheart¡¯s gentle hand on my head and the warmth coming from the fire.


    When I woke up, I was sleeping on the red couch, dressed in a gown and covered by a heavy fur blanket.


    As I tried to sit up, I felt my head spin and it made me wince. Lionheart, who had been sitting at his desk, quickly stood up and came to check on me.


    He put his palm on my forehead and grimaced.


    I felt an itch down my throat and tried to clear it, but instead threw myself into a coughing fit. I closed my eyes and coughed harder, hoping it would make the itch leave, but it became even worse.


    Dad brought me a glass of water and I gulped it down. The cool liquid helps sooth it for a moment, but as soon as it was past, the itching came back as distracting as ever.


    I handed him back the empty glass and took a deep breath, but the pressure in my head was going nowhere.


    -How are you feeling?-


    Lionheart asked me.


    I tried to think of a way to describe how it, but that only served to make my head feel stuffy.


    -Bad.-


    He nodded and helped me lay back on the couch. I closed my eyes.


    A few minutes later, Stash came to the room accompanied by an older woman I had never seen before.


    She smiled toward me and said a few words, but almost immediately Stash intervened. He explained something to the old woman who¡¯s eyes lit up and nodded seriously.


    She bent down and waved kindly and I waved back before turning to Stash and Dad.


    -This person here, my lady, is a doctor. She is here to examine you.-


    Instinctively, I backed away and balled up.


    What did he mean by doctor? Examining me? I don¡¯t like it. It sounds like back then. Maybe she will also think I¡¯m bad and¡­


    The doctor smiled and raised her hands. By now I was familiar with the gesture. Stash and Lionheart had often done the same when they wanted to say they wouldn¡¯t do anything I didn¡¯t want.


    The butler leaned forward.


    -I apologise, my lady, I did not explain properly. Do you know what a doctor is?-


    I shook my head.


    -Is it like a kinsmann?-


    Stash¡¯s moustache danced for a moment as he thought about my question.


    -Not quite, my lady. A doctor is a person who looks after a person¡¯s health. They do not partake in the domain of the gods.-


    I released my knees slightly.


    -She¡¯s here to examine¡­ My health?-


    Stash nodded.


    -That¡¯s correct. She is here to determine if you have any illness and offer treatment.-


    He explained.


    -Like¡­ Medicine?-


    I said, remembering the black goo I was fed after the accident.


    -I don¡¯t really like medicine¡­-


    -I will ask her to only offer the best tasting ones, my lady.-


    Stash signed with a smile on his face.


    Not quite convinced but unsure how else to proceed I nodded and allowed the doctor to examine me.


    She opened her satchel and took out what looked like a stick with a circular piece of glass at the top. She gently opened my mouth with her thumb and looked down my throat with the glass apparatus.


    She held it there for several seconds and I had to resist the urge to bite down until she released her hold. While I chewed on air until my jaw felt normal again, she discussed a few things with Stash and Lionheart. She pressed her hand on my forehead and then on the side of my neck without even looking at me. She gripped the side of my throat and held it in place for a few moments before releasing her grip. She turned to me again and brought her glass circle to my face and stared at my eyes.


    Through the glass I could see that her eye was ridiculously bigger and it made me laugh. The doctor smiled and continued looking. She then turned my face to the side and pulled on my ear. Probably giving it a look over.


    After another long moment, she nodded and released me. Stash brought me a glass of water and while I drank, the three of them continued speaking.


    My nostril suddenly tickled and I let out a sneeze. Stash promptly wiped my nose with a handkerchief.


    The doctor asked the butler something, to which he nodded before, allowing the doctor closer once again.


    She started pulling up my sleeve, but I instinctively stopped her and looked around the room.


    Did they see the marks? Please tell me that they didn¡¯t see¡­


    Lionheart came closer and patted my head for a moment.


    -It¡¯s okay, don¡¯t worry. She just wants to make sure everything is healing well.-


    Ah.


    So he knew.


    Maybe he saw it last night?


    I felt relieved in a way, but also sad. As though I didn¡¯t have control over what people knew of me.


    The doctor started examining my arms, my back, then my legs¡­ By the end of it, I think my body held no secret for her.


    After the examination was over, Mili arrived with breakfast in hand.


    She helped me get dressed into a more comfortable gown while the three adults spoke to each other.


    She sat me down on the sofa and set the food in front of me. As I ate breakfast, I slowly started feeling better.


    The adult spoke calmly, but I didn¡¯t mind. The doctor didn¡¯t seem like someone who would get angry and seeing the way they were speaking, they weren¡¯t angry. They looked calm and maybe a bit worried.


    Although my throat still ached and my head felt swollen, it felt like things were about to make sense again.

 Side Story 1. Knightly endeavor (Knights)

    There we have it.


    The horses stink, my ass hurts, and, to top it off, my scalp feels like it¡¯s turning medium-rare¡­


    At least my blond hair wasn¡¯t as much a heat magnet as it could have been. I hear that those with darker hair will feel the heat twice as much. I wonder how that works?


    I looked up at the bright yellow sphere high above us, not a single cloud in view.


    Ah¡­ The scalding summer sun of Sunvale¡­ Quite the fitting name. There has to be  a song or poem out there dedicated to how much it just sucks.


    Actually, if there isn¡¯t, I¡¯m feeling pretty inspired right about now.


    Let¡¯s see: ¡®Oh sun of sunvale, you¡­.¡¯


    ¡°Hnnnnnnnggg¡­¡±


    I heard a loud and painful sigh behind me. Coming straight from my travelling companion.


    ¡°Oh, quit  moaning!¡±


    I yelped back as I glanced over my shoulder at Galvian.


    He looked pathetic, leaned back on his saddle. He had fashioned the jacket of his grey knight uniform into a makeshift tent shaped hat. Which made him look completely ridiculous, but he probably didn¡¯t care.


    ¡°And take that thing off! We¡¯re not supposed to draw attention!¡±


    He let out a grunt and did as told before tucking the jacket back into his luggage while sarcastically responding to me.


    ¡°Yes, Your Highness Hersia Okavlon.¡±


    He then tried to give a low bow on his saddle, but his horse failed to find it as amusing as he did and kicked the air in protest.


    ¡°Woah there! Easy! Easy!¡±


    He said in a voice he meant to be soothing.


    I let out a sigh and turned my head forward once more. The thick forest of the vale was still far away, so the only point of interest in sight was the still waters of Lake Alenia and scattered fisherman¡¯s villages amongst the rough and rocky outcrops of the lands surrounding the waters.


    ¡°Tsk!¡±


    I snapped my tongue in annoyance.


    ¡°oH qUit MoAninG!¡±


    Galvian parroted in a mocking voice.


    I pulled on the horse briddle strongly, bringing it to a hard stop and glared at the boy-knight. A wave of fear ran over as his horse¡¯s pace matched mine, but he then composed himself and glared back.


    ¡°What¡¯s with the attitude?¡±


    He asked in the most arrogant of tones.


    ¡°What¡¯s with the attitude? The ATTITUDE? Oh I don¡¯t know! Maybe something something, you almost got us kicked out of the order! Do you NOT remember how much of a damn pain in the ass it was to get in, in the first place? You and your damn two coppers plan!¡±


    Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.


    To my complete disbelief, he dared to act offended.


    ¡°MY two coppers plan? Need I remind you that it was OUR two coppers plan? And that I only organised the pickup. It was YOU who lost her cool at a SIX year-old! SIX! What the hell were you thinking? You just had to ask her a couple questions and check her bag! What in the blinding grace of Seeir made you think you had to beat a man to a pulp and rip her teddy apart right in front of her? She was a kid! There¡¯s no need to play good knight bad knight in front of her.¡±


    I kept glaring, unmoving. He¡¯s right. I know, but it sucks that we both had to pay the price for his shitty intel.


    I took a deep breath and let out a sigh.


    He grunted again, but also sighed.


    ¡°Sorry about that, it¡¯s just this heat¡­ Made me snappy.¡±


    Galvian apologised. He always apologises and it pisses me off, but he had a point.


    ¡°Yeah¡­ I¡¯m sorry as well. This just¡­ Sucks¡­¡±


    After the incident with the orphan girl and Marquess Vilger, Galvian and I had been put on probation. In simple terms, we had gone from active knight duties to glorified messengers between the different units posted around the kingdom. This usually wouldn¡¯t be so bad, but due to the circumstances of our work, we were meant to travel inconspicuously¡­ And that meant no carriages, no fancy horses, basic camping gear and worse of all: a very small budget for lodging so we would be forced to only stay at the worst of inns.


    I nudged my horse''s sides and we started moving again.


    At least there was a nice breeze coming from the lake itself sometimes. If only that was enough to counteract the sun. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.


    I felt the familiar tickle of Alenia¡¯s blessing in my lungs. Children of richer families were often made to drink this water from a young age to ensure they grow fast and healthy and I was no exception. One would always feel invigorated after drinking from it and so, I only associated good memories to this smell. The water of this lake was renowned for its curative properties and as a catalyst for many medicines and elixirs.


    Some sceptics doubted the actual benefit of the water, but the logic was sane. This water flowed from the great mountains in the north of Sunvale and trickled down the blessed forests of Alenia. The ground of these forests were a breeding ground for many a plant and some of the world¡¯s most famed alchemists had made it their home for this reason. It was said that the water that flowed through it became imbued in those plants'' curative properties and making it especially potent.


    As the heat slowly got to me, I felt just about to pass out when Galvian spoke again.


    ¡°Have you heard the stories about the Alenian?¡±


    I furrowed brows


    ¡°You mean Alenia¡¯s kin?¡±


    I asked, confused. No one liked when their heritage was casualised or abbreviated and being of Alenia¡¯s blood myself, it felt like a tone deaf probe, but, perhaps to my relief, he shook his head.


    ¡°No, the Alenian. It¡¯s an old legend. They say that deep underneath the surface of Lake Alenia, there is an ancient race of water-people who live and breathe underwater. Apparently, they built gigantic cities and will sometimes invite fishermen sailing the waters to come down and see it¡­¡±


    He stopped and stared at the lake.


    ¡°...And?¡±


    I asked, having no real expectation.


    ¡°They are never seen again.¡±


    I let out an unimpressed snicker.


    ¡°Sounds like a children¡¯s story.¡±


    Galvian only shrugged at my reaction, probably only telling me about the story out of boredom.


    ¡°Whose kin are these ¡®creatures¡¯ supposedly from anyway? Alenia?¡±


    He shook his head.


    ¡°None. Apparently they used to be fish and turned into people with the help of Alenia¡¯s water.¡±


    I exploded with laughter. It had been a long road, so really anything would set me off at this point.


    ¡°Fish? To people? Ridiculous! What¡¯s next? Cats to lions?¡±


    He smirked as well.


    ¡°Well, we could always try to feed one some water and see what happens¡­¡±


    We laughed for a bit and continued on our way.


    The day wore on, and after three weeks of riding, we finally saw  the other side of the lake, fields along the water and trees growing high.


    ¡°Sunbarrow Valley. Alenia¡¯s holy sanctum! Finally.¡±


    Galvian declared as he eyed a small town in the distance, probably thinking about the comfortable bed waiting for him.


    I nodded in agreement to the sentiment.


    ¡°Finally.¡±

 45. Sick day

    -Life is pain. Please just end me.-


    -My lady. Is a cold.-


    -Yes, and it has ravaged my body. Please Mili, I¡¯m only asking for mercy.-


    She visibly sighed.


    -Is only three days. You get better soon.-


    I waved her off.


    -No, I swear I can see the light.-


    I signed before extending my hand toward an imaginary point in space.


    -Where is you learn weird words like that? Sit up already.-


    She signed in a defeated look as I posed dramatically on the carpet of my dad¡¯s office.


    I let my arm drop at my side and stared at the wooden beam of the ceiling. After the storm a few days back, I had essentially been secluded to this room due to the terminal illness known as ¡°a cold¡±.


    As it turns out, one of those infamous ¡®lightning¡¯ things which made the shadow monster image appear on the walls struck a tree close to my room. The branches of which went flying everywhere and broke several things around the estate. Including my bedroom window.


    So there really were no monsters¡­ Unless the lightning was a lie to reassure me, but I haven¡¯t seen any monsters since, so it probably wasn¡¯t.


    The damage to the window was pretty substantial from what they told me, and so, while they repaired it, I was staying in the office.


    They had apparently checked for another room for me to stay in, but my dad was worried that they might be too dirty and cold and that it would impede on my health. So, in the meantime, I was to stay in his study where the sofa had been fully fitted into a bed for me to sleep in.


    At first I had been pretty excited to be able to spend all day with Lionheart, but, as it turns out, he didn¡¯t spend his entire days here and when he was present, he was often buried in his work.


    He did seem to make it a point to come talk or play with me before he left the room or when coming back¡­ Not that there was much to play with.


    I looked down at the board, observing the pieces. She was teaching me a game she called ¡®Joust¡¯. Played on a chess board. Each player had 4 ¡®jousters¡¯ pieces and 7 ¡®fences¡¯ which were placed across the board.


    The game played a bit like chess, but you could only move the jousters. The fences were used to either hide behind or jump over.


    When attacking another jouster, you had to flip a coin to see whether or not you defeated them. So it was an equal part luck and strategy game.


    I looked over the board trying to remember where I was at.


    Oh what¡¯s this?


    -I¡¯ll charge your jouster with this one.-


    I said before picking up the coin, but Mili shook her head.


    -Can¡¯t. You piece facing the wrong way. Need to reach other side of board.-


    I clicked my tongue before dropping on my back which moved the mucus in my throat uncomfortably, sending me into a coughing fit for a few moments.


    Once I had regained my composure I lifted my head.


    -This game has too many rules!-


    Mili stood up and looked down at me with an arched brow.


    -You just sore loser.-


    I grunted at her response and turned to my side to stare at the fire.


    The yellow and red flames licked the burning log tenderly as sparkles lazily flew upward.


    Fire is surprisingly pretty. It wasn¡¯t the first time that I was seeing fire, of course. There had been a fire growing either in the fireplace of the estate or hearth of the orphanage, but they had always been covered or out of the way. Treated like a tool more than a decoration.


    I closed my eyes and let the warm wind caress my face.


    I wonder why fire is so¡­ Different?


    It¡¯s the only thing other than the sun that can make light, make heat, turn ingredients into food¡­ Isn¡¯t that just weird? How would life work if there wasn¡¯t any fire? Would we starve? Wouldn¡¯t we just freeze to death every winter?


    You¡¯d think there¡¯s a god of fire or at least the sun, but no! Nothing! It just is! Why is that? Maybe I should ask Jade next time we meet. After all, she knows everything about the gods and what not.


    Mili laid down beside me, blocking the fire from my view, and turned her freckled face toward me.


    She mouthed something at me that looked like a question.


    -What?-


    I asked with a raised eyebrow.


    Probably realising her misstep she hurriedly signed.


    -You bored?-


    Bored? That¡¯s an understatement if I¡¯ve ever heard one. Joust is fine as far as board games go, but after losing the last four matches, I¡¯ve had my fill for the next month. Boredom felt like such a foreign concept to me. The only time in my life I had ever felt actually bored was in this household in the last few days.


    I think I might also have been a bit bored when I was recovering from my fall all those months ago, but between fatigue and Goldie¡¯s presence, I had never dwelt on it.


    Why am I bored anyway? There¡¯s things to do in the room. Plenty of board games, Darkie, Sparrow and Mili. I have everything I need to stay busy, but somehow I didn¡¯t want to play. I wanted to go somewhere. Anywhere. Maybe in the garden, in town or even the church, but I was forbidden to leave this room until I got better.


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    -Yeah. I¡¯m bored.-


    I finally answered.


    She pursed her lips into a sympathetic smile before laying on her back and looked up at the ceiling for a moment with her deep blue eyes. She stared intensely, seemingly deep in thoughts before jumping back on her feet in a singular motion. I sat up in suprise as she confidently strode toward the door. Curious. I watched her turn the handle to leave the room


    -I back in a minute.-


    She signed with a confident expression on her face.


    Seems like she just thought of something after all. Well I guess it¡¯s worth trying whatever it might be.


    As I sat around, waiting, I looked over the chess board, where the Joust game remained unfinished. How did she beat me so easily every time?


    Joust was easier than chess by a mile and I wasn¡¯t getting beaten to a pulp like when I played checkers with Dalton¡­


    Dalton.


    Something shook in my mind and my vision became fixated with the chess pieces.


    For a moment, I was back at the estate. Not in the darkened and boarded up room, but in my normal bedroom. The warm summer sun illuminating the curtains, Goldie sitting on the couch folding clothes and, right in front of me, Dalton.


    It was strange now that I thought of it.


    Why was it that I never thought about Dalton?


    I clearly remembered that woman and that man. I clearly recalled Ela and the things we did. Knox was always a bit distant, but I always had fleeting thoughts of him when I looked up at older boys at the orphanage.


    But Dalton¡­


    He was a consistent figment of my memory. In the back of every scene, not doing anything, always quiet. Before the accident, we had spent much of our time together. Playing games, running around and pulling pranks on the servants, but never do these memories surface.


    Only right now, facing a chessboard do I think of him.


    Now that I thought about it, wasn¡¯t he odd? Dalton was a little bit less than a year younger than me, but he was still only four years old the last time I met him. How was it that he was so good at those games?


    I looked up and stared at the blurry memory of his face. The details were muddled. I couldn¡¯t remember how round his jaw was, how big his cheeks were, but the intense look of his pink, near silver, eyes was still as clear as ever.


    He must be five-years-old now. The same age I was when I last saw him. I couldn¡¯t stop wondering why a boy younger than me had such an intense look behind his eyes? Do I misremember? Maybe he was just a normal boy who happened to not be as horrible at board games as I was? But my memory was unwavering.


    Dalton was smart.


    He had never gotten angry at me even when I didn¡¯t answer when he spoke to me. He hadn¡¯t wanted to use the stick¡­ Not like the others.


    I felt my eyes tickle as tears formed. I quickly wiped them away in case someone came in and when I looked in front of me again, Dalton was gone. Only the half-played joust game remained.


    Dalton. Goldie.


    I suddenly missed them.


    Without any warning, the door swung open, completely distracting me from my earlier worries. Mili proudly stood, smug smile and all, in front of me, her arms filled with papers and boxes.


    She carefully placed a pile of blank papers and focused her attention on the two small wooden boxes. She looked up at me expectantly, but I was completely clueless as to the content of the box and simply tilted my head, but this must have been as per her expectation since her expression only turned more smug. In one swift motion, she removed the top of the two containers, revealing their content.


    Rows of colourful sticks.


    I looked up at her, confused.


    -We going to draw!-


    Draw? Like¡­ Making paintings?


    -But this doesn¡¯t look like paint¡­-


    She smiled warmly at my confusion.


    -Colour oil stick! Look, I show.-


    Mili signed.


    She laid down on the ground on her chest and hovered her hand above the coloured sticks. She finally picked a dark blue colour. She brought it to the paper and started tracing lines and slowly I started recognising the familiar outlines. She took other coloured sticks and added more and more things to the drawing.


    She showed me the result and I was mesmerised. It was a face! I didn¡¯t know Mili was an artist! She¡¯s so good!


    -It¡¯s so pretty!-


    I exclaimed as I jumped to my feet excitedly.


    She smiled and handed me the drawing. I looked over the drawing fascinated.


    -Who is it?!-


    -Is you!-


    -It¡¯s me?!-


    -Yes, you!-


    It¡¯s me! I¡¯m in a drawing! I¡¯ve never been in a drawing before!


    -What are the red things on the side?-


    I asked while pointing at the strange shapes surrounding my face on the paper.


    -Hearts!-


    Hearts? Like¡­ Organs?


    -Is¡­ Is that what they look like?-


    She snorted and let out a muted laughter.


    -No! No! Not real hearts. Is drawn heart. We draw hearts around things we like.-


    Hearts around things we like¡­ I remember people saying love comes from the heart, so I guess that makes sense.


    -Want to try?-


    She asked me.


    I nodded, but then froze.


    -But I don¡¯t know how-


    -Come, I show!-


    She invited me to the spot beside her.


    Excited, I quickly laid down at her side and she started teaching me the ins and outs of ¡®drawing¡¯.


    It was difficult at first, and I wasn¡¯t too sure I liked my drawing as much as Mili¡¯s, but she seemed rather pleased with my work so I kept going. I added Darkie which she didn¡¯t recognise until I pointed at the bunny who was sitting in front of us. Her eyes lit up and the girl gave me an enthusiastic thumbs up. She looked over my drawing before clasping her hand in an exaggerated fashion.


    -You forgot someone!-


    -I did?-


    She nodded seriously before extending her hand and pointing right at me. I tilted my head in confusion before realising she meant me. I hastily put my nose down to the drawing. After a bit of work, I finished drawing myself, but something felt like it was missing¡­ I looked at her drawing and realised I forgot the most important part!


    I dug through the box of oil sticks and found a dark red. I then tried my best to trace the cute hearts above everyone¡¯s head. I looked once more at my work and satisfied, I presented it to Mili.


    She clapped excitedly.


    -I love drawing! Is very cute! You even draw hearts!-


    She exclaimed between two rounds of applause.


    I smiled and puffed my chest.


    -That¡¯s because I love everyone!-


    -Even me?-


    She asked curiously as she pointed her index finger at herself to which I nodded confidently.


    She delicately took the drawing from my hands and looked it over with a smile. She held it against her chest and signed to me.


    -Can I keep?-


    I felt confused. Why would anyone want to keep a drawing like that? Her drawings were much better.


    -Why?-


    -Because that makes it a gift, and that makes me happy! Here, I give you my drawing, so we both get gifts!-


    You can give drawings as gifts? That¡¯s pretty fun!


    I looked over her drawing and felt a smile draw on my face. It felt surprisingly good to receive a drawing as a gift¡­


    Wait¡­ That just gave me an idea!

 46. On the wall

    -He is coming!-


    Excited. I quickly added some finishing touches and hid my work behind my back.


    As I stood straight, I noticed Mili was chuckling while looking at me. I angrily put my index finger to my mouth to tell her to be quiet. She would ruin the surprise! With an exaggerated motion she covered her mouth which only annoyed me more, but I dropped it and focused my attention on the door.


    The curved handle slowly started tilting. My excitement was barely contained, but I resisted the urge to rush to the door. Finally, it swung open¡­ But it was only Stash.


    I felt my shoulders droop from disappointment. From the corner of my eyes, I noticed Mili slightly shaking. Confused, I looked up at her. She was laughing herself to tears.


    I frowned. Was that her idea of a joke? Getting me all worked up like that? I lightly hit her skirt with the back of my hand in frustration, but that only served to make her laugh harder.


    -I¡¯m not sure what¡¯s going on here, my lady, but I must insist that you do not go around hitting young lady Gelzare.-


    Stash said with a stern face.


    Realising I might get scolded. I quickly bowed in apology, but still felt bitter inside. Still with an amused look, Mili tilted into my field of view and smiled.


    -He really coming this time!-


    Feeling excited once again, I stopped focusing on Mili¡¯s prank and focused at the door while Stash walked toward the desk where he laid down some documents.


    [Dad!]


    I yelled as Lionheart crossed the threshold.


    He smiled broadly and picked me up from the ground. He walked toward the sofa and sat down with me on his knees.


    -How was your morning, Silika?-


    He asked much more patiently than I felt.


    -It was good, but dad I¡¯ve got something for you!-


    He looked surprised.


    -You do?-


    I nodded and was going to hand him the gift, but I realised that I had put it down before signing. Where did it go?


    I looked around for a bit, until I realised that I had distractedly put it on my knees. I felt my cheeks burn in embarrassment. I glanced up at Lionheart, but he didn¡¯t seem to have noticed¡­ Or at least he was politely pretending not to.


    I picked up the drawing and handed it to him.


    He carefully took it from my hand and looked it over. His expression shifted. It wasn¡¯t a polite smile anymore, but something else that I couldn¡¯t describe. He didn¡¯t look mad or angry at least¡­


    He looked down at me for a moment with the same almost confused expression and hugged me tightly. We stayed like that for what felt like several minutes, but I didn¡¯t mind. I liked being hugged.


    When we separated, he looked at the drawing again while wiping his face with the back of his other hand.


    -So¨C So you drew this?-


    I nodded proudly.


    I didn¡¯t expect him to be so happy about it, but now I was definitely glad I drew him this surprise!


    He smiled as he kept staring at the drawing. He finally stood up with me still in his arms.


    He sat me down at his desk, which felt a bit strange. I couldn¡¯t recall any other time in my life where I sat on a table. What an odd feeling, especially since someone voluntarily sat me here.


    He said a few words to Stash who promptly went to dig through a nearby cupboard and before coming back to Lionheart.


    It was a frame. Lionheart took the drawing and swiftly slipped it in. He removed a painting from the wall and replaced it with my drawing.


    Was it that good? I¡¯m sure the other painting was much better. Why is he replacing it¡­


    He backed away from the wall and admired it before turning to me with a smile.


    -This way, I can admire it every day!-


    He simply stated, but I still felt confused.


    -Wasn¡¯t the other painting much better? I just learn to draw today, so it¡¯s not very good¡­-


    I tried to explain, but Lionheart simply shook his head.


    -Anything you draw is a hundred times better than any painting in this house, because I know you drew it while thinking of me. Money can buy any paintings I want from any artists I wish, but a drawing from my daughter? I can¡¯t buy that with money. I have to earn it as a father.-


    I thought about what he said for a moment.


    It was a bit hard to wrap my head around the concept.


    -Like a medal?-


    I tried to guess.


    Medals were something you couldn¡¯t buy.


    Lionheart smiled in a satisfied way.


    -Exactly. Like a medal. A drawing from you is like a medal¡­-


    His expression shifted.


    A shadow of doubts in his eyes. He looked down for a moment and held his chin, but eventually simply shook his head.


    -I¡¯m very grateful for the drawing, thank you.-


    The strange expression still lingered, but it was now masked under a more happy one.


    -I¡¯m happy that it makes you happy!-


    I answered, all smiles.


    We stayed like that for a fleeting moment, before dad¡¯s eyes shone.


    -By the way, how are you feeling today? You don¡¯t seem to be coughing as much.-


    I nodded proudly.


    -That¡¯s right! I started feeling better today. Doctor says I shouldn¡¯t be sick anymore in a few days!-


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.


    -Is that so? Then should we go somewhere to celebrate when you feel better?-


    I almost fell off the table when I heard. Going somewhere! Yes! I want to go!


    -I¡¯m better! We can go!-


    He started laughing at my response and gently ruffled my hair.


    -Only when you feel better. Otherwise you will fall sick again.-


    I let out an annoyed click of the tongue. I was hoping he would let it slip, but I guess I really have to wait a few more days before I can leave the house.


    -Alright, let¡¯s eat. I think you¡¯re well enough to eat in the dining room.-


    After picking me up once more, we headed down to the dining room. Today¡¯s food was mostly composed of liquids and warm soft things. From what Mili had told me during our lunches upstairs, soft and warm food was good for your health when you are sick. I don¡¯t understand how that works. I wish I could just stuff myself like usual.


    Since I was feeling better and the weather was clement, Stash allowed me to go out to the yard for the afternoon, but no running.


    His words.


    After dressing me up, Mili and I headed out to the small terrace at the centre of the garden. She had already placed a set of tea, and brought down the chessboard and drawing supplies.


    I felt a bit annoyed at the thought of playing yet another game of joust, but since I was in a rather good mood, I decided to humour her.


    She set up the board again and we started placing the fences on the game board. After a lucky break, I was able to defeat one of her jousters on my second turn, but it was a short-lived victory and she quickly swallowed up two of my pieces after an unlucky coin toss on my part. In a matter of minutes, the game was wrapped up and another loss was added to all my collection.


    I let out a pained sigh and slowly collapsed in my chair. I extended my hand toward my cup of tea and took long gulps of the warm liquid.


    Will I ever win at this game? How was she always able to get so many pieces in one turn?


    While I brooded on my chair, I stared at the glass veranda of the building. Normally, the place was quite messy since it was being used as a storage, but I noticed people walking around picking up things.


    -What¡¯s going on?-


    I asked while motioning toward the building.


    She looked over and nodded.


    -Since there is renovation. Lord said to clean entire house.-


    She explained.


    Makes sense. When we walked around the other day, I noticed the house was pretty messy¡­


    We cleared the chessboard and just as we were setting it up once more, Mili turned her head to the side.


    -You have a guest.-


    She signed as she stood up from her seat.


    A guest?


    I turned in the direction she was looking and almost instantly jumped out of my seat.


    [JADE!]


    I yelled out loud.


    Jade was walking down the stone path toward us slowly. I ran up to her and squeezed as hard as I could as she squeezed back.


    -I was told to make sure you wouldn¡¯t run around, but I guess we can forgive this instance.-


    She signed with an amused expression.


    AAhhh I missed Jade! Less than a week had gone by, but it felt like an eternity.


    I took her by the hand and led her back to the table where Mili still stood.


    -This is Mili! She helps me and plays with me!-


    -Hello, Silika friend.-


    Mili signed clumsily before introducing herself verbally. They exchanged a few pleasantries before Mili offered Jade a seat.


    -I let you catch up. I go get snacks.-


    She signed before excusing herself, leaving Jade and I alone in the garden.


    Jade looked around curiously. Obviously, she had never been in a garden like this before.


    -It¡¯s really¡­ colourful, here.-


    I nodded. I never met the gardener, but he was talented for sure. Even in Oblon the gardens had not been as pretty as here.


    She finished looking around and turned back to me.


    -So how have you been? I heard you were sick?-


    She asked as she raised an eyebrow.


    I nodded as I pushed a cup of tea toward her.


    -Yeah, it¡¯s a bit of a long story.-


    I started recounting the tale of that night as she sipped on the cup of tea and nodded along.


    I explained how it turned out that there were no monsters at all and that it was the pieces of a tree that had been struck by lightning that had broken the window, and that the rain from the storm had completely soaked me through.


    -It¡¯s a good thing the branches didn¡¯t hit you. You might have gotten hurt pretty badly if it was strong enough to break the window.-


    She commented.


    I actually had not thought about that. As I considered what would have happened, I felt a shudder run through my spine, and shook off the thought.


    -It¡¯s okay. They are fixing the window. I¡¯m sleeping in my dad¡¯s office until it¡¯s fixed.-


    I reassured her off-handedly, but she looked surprised.


    -You call him dad?-


    She couldn¡¯t help but ask.


    She didn¡¯t look incredulous. Rather, she simply looked surprised.


    I guess I did start calling him that recently¡­ Last time Jade and I spoke, I was still unsure whether I belonged in this place, but somehow, over the course of a few days, I had developed a new opinion.


    Unable to explain, I simply nodded at her question and she didn¡¯t pry. Instead, she looked curiously at the art tools on the table and picked up a single oil stick.


    -It¡¯s to draw.-


    I explained.


    I took a piece of paper and started to make shapes on it and showed her. Her eyes lit up with interest.


    -So it¡¯s like chalk?-


    I had never made the connection before, but it did make sense so I nodded.


    -Want to draw together?-


    -Sure!-


    She dragged her chair closer to me and we both started doodling.


    As I was attempting to draw the office and the fireplace, an earlier thought occured to me.


    -Say. If there¡¯s no god of fire, why is there fire?-


    I simply asked Jade.


    She looked at me for a moment before putting down the oil stick entirely and rubbing her chin.


    -I¡¯m not too sure to tell you the truth. The gods don¡¯t normally represent objects as much as concepts, so you can assume that most things around us don¡¯t have a god. I mean, there¡¯s no god of water or rocks either, right?-


    I nodded in agreement.


    My own thought process had not reached that point, but it¡¯s true that there were many objects that weren¡¯t directly related to gods¡­ And those who were often came from unrelated objects that were then transformed by a god¡¯s blessing or miracle.


    -But then, where does fire come from?-


    I insisted.


    She looked pensive for a moment before turning back to me.


    -Do you remember your second day at the orphanage?-


    I frowned at her question. That was an odd thing to bring up. Still, I tried to recall that day and suddenly remembered.


    -Ah! Yes I do! The other kids did a play. I think it was called ¡°Root¡±?-


    I responded inquisitively.


    -I¡¯m surprised you caught the name, but yes that¡¯s right.-


    She took a piece of paper and started doodling a tree.


    -So in the very beginning, there was only Alcorn the god of creation. Well Root focuses on the story of the other gods, but there is another story in the books of creation that retells that era in much more detail. Before the War in Heaven, but after the creation of all the major gods, there was an era where Alcorn shed leaves that the other gods would shape into other gods. Remember?-


    That part of the story was in Root after all.


    -Well not ALL the leaves were shaped into gods. Some leaves were simply left where they fell and, from the indirect effect of the gods, started taking different shapes. So this is how we got rocks, grass, water and everything. I didn¡¯t hear anything about fire, but it¡¯s likely it was created in the same way.-


    She drew a bunch of leaves falling from the tree, all in the shape of different objects.


    I was incredulous. I had never heard of this part of the story.


    -Leaves turned to grass?!-


    Jade smiled uncertainly.


    -Well, kind of. There are a lot of different theories regarding exactly what these leaves were like. Some say they are similar to the grey leaves that fall from the Evergreen, but other kinsmann scholars disagree.-


    She continued to explain, but by that point I was starting to lose focus.


    What did it all mean? Everything is made of¡­ Leaves?


    Jade smiled kindly.


    -It¡¯s okay to be confused. Most adults don¡¯t really understand it either. That¡¯s why we have the kinsmanns there to do the thinking for us.-


    I agreed with the sentiment.


    Really. What was the point of racking your brain about how everything works when the people who best know how it works don¡¯t agree together?


    Unless that means I should be trying to rack my brain harder to decide who I think is more right¡­


    While I was deep in thoughts, Mili came back with snacks in hand and placed them on the table.


    -Dig in!-


    She announced.


    Seeing the sweets, my earlier trail of thought suddenly lost its importance.


    I have an entire lifetime to think about what is made of leaves and what isn¡¯t.


    These sweets, on the other hand, will be gone for good in a few minutes.

 Side Story 2. Last day in Oblon (Jace)

    I let out a sigh of relief.


    Today, I am finally leaving this accursed place. A single bag at my side, I slowly crossed the marble hallways of the main house. I had just handed my keys to the head maid and graciously received my monetary pension. Not that I needed it after my sister¡¯s ¡®generous¡¯ bribe, but 15 years of accumulated service would normally afford one enough to start a business or a farm.


    Not an amount to be scoffed at.


    As to why it had taken me almost a month since receiving her gift to leave the Everest household¡­ Well, it can be boiled down to bureaucracy.


    Had I left any time earlier, I could have been prosecuted for breach of contract.


    The madam probably would have at least tried to dismiss the matter, but Marquess Everest¡¯s attitude toward me had never warmed up after my house arrest. It¡¯s a miracle I had not been disposed of in some way.


    I guess I can thank their gods-forsaken cult for at least valuing the lives of individuals more than it valued punishing them.


    I quietly walked down the stairs of the main hall and headed for the exit.


    ¡°Jace, wait!¡±


    I heard someone call my name.


    I turned around in time to see my youngest nephew run toward me.


    ¡°Young master Dalton.¡±


    I said as I politely curtsied.


    In another life, I might have greeted him more warmly, but in this one, he was the master and I was the servant.


    ¡°What seems to be the matter?¡±


    I asked as I glanced around the room quickly.


    Surprisingly no one else was here with him, perhaps he had somehow sneaked away from his guardians? It wouldn¡¯t be good for either of us to be seen talking to each other, but under these circumstances, I could afford a few precious seconds with a nephew who knew nothing of his aunt.


    ¡°Here.¡±


    He said as he extended a small closed fist.


    ¡°It¡¯s for her.¡±


    He opened his hand and let a small object fall into my palm before running along as fast as he had appeared.


    How did he¡­?


    I shook my head. It¡¯s not important. I looked at the content of my palm but quickly closed it.


    The Everest family stamp!


    The initial S and E now etched into my mind had been visible on top of the family insignia.


    Why? How? It should have been buried in that empty casket with the rest of her belongings in the family crypt.


    I quickly slipped it inside my bag before walking through the door.


    My baggage, which had felt light until now, felt heavy.


    If someone was to catch me with this, I might end up facing the gallows.


    A stamp represented an official communication from a noble. Although not a proof of title on its own, this stamp, in the hands of someone who matched the description of Silika as per the family records, could easily claim her name, titles, dowry and properties.


    A dangerous tool, especially outside of the hands of its rightful owner.


    Did the young lord wish for Silika to return? Or perhaps he was more afraid of what it could do if it stayed within the household¡­


    I walked quickly down the stone path and through the estate¡¯s metal gate which the doorman promptly closed behind me.


    I looked back through the iron bars, but all I could see was a shell. The shell of a family that, in another life, I could have called my own.


    I let out a sigh and started walking down the wide dirt path which would lead me to the town down the valley.


    I looked at the rolling hills and breathed in the air. It would be the last time, perhaps in my entire life, that I laid eyes on this place.


    It looked peaceful.


    And that made me angry.


    I looked away and continued to make my way to town down the hillside. As I went through the threshold of the wooden gate, I crossed paths with a farmhand on his way back to the field.


    When he noticed me, he stopped, crumpled his nose in disgust and scoffed.


    ¡°The nasty witch ¡®s still around ¡®parently.¡±


    He spat at my feet before walking off.


    ¡°Scorn¡¯s whores should stick to where they belong.¡±


    He muttered.


    A nearby passerby snickered as he looked me up and down. I simply stared back at him for a whole three seconds and that was enough to send him scampering.


    Honestly¡­ A witch? Had they even ever met a feral?


    I have and I hope I never do again.


    The rumours regarding myself had never been limited to the household. Even before I was known as a witch or heretic¡¯s caretaker, I had been looked down on with disdain anytime I had come into town.


    If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    Since the last non-Orthodox Meiriem church had been driven out of the region ten years back, anyone who didn¡¯t look pink, blue or at least silver enough had been considered an outcast.


    Foreigners had always been frowned upon in the countryside, but Oblon wasn¡¯t the countryside. It was the second most populated county in the duchy and the city of Oblon itself, only a 2-hour horse ride from here, was home to over 20,000 souls.


    20,000 religious fanatics In a single city.


    It had always been a hostile environment, but now it had gotten so bad, that it felt like I could get lynched for any misstep.


    After walking a few more minutes, I finally reached my destination; the town¡¯s coach station.


    For the last 15 years, this place has been a sort of haven for me. Travellers from all over the continent would stop here. They would tell me all types of stories and news about the world, drink with me and, sometimes, they would even deliver letters to other traveller friends I had made over the years¡­


    But the most important thing they gave me was camaraderie.


    ¡°So today¡¯s the day, ¡®init?¡±


    A voice said from my side.


    I turned to meet with a now familiar face.


    Evelyn.


    If there was one person who was more despised than I was in this town, it was her.


    Most people¡¯s heritage and eventual blessing were only of mild inconvenience, but she was a kin to Istifh, the god of ¡®Misappropriation¡¯... More commonly known as the god of theft.


    Was it not enough that she would be related to such a¡­ Misunderstood deity¡­ But the traits one received from it, even through generations of dilution, were unmistakable.


    Shorter than most with soft features, an Istifh-kin could easily be mistaken for a child even late into Adulthood. The irises of their eyes were overdeveloped, taking nearly the entirety of their cornea. If that wasn¡¯t enough, a recessive trait could cause two stumps to grow from their forehead in their adulthood even if the rest of their traits were somehow erased through the generations.


    Needless to say, even if one was to look past their god¡¯s presumptions, the effect of any of these traits on their physical appeal, or lack thereof, could be considered the nail in the coffin for a normal social life¡­ And Evelyn had all of them.


    She watched me patiently with her marble-like eyes as I walked over to her.


    I took off my hat and gently placed it on the table before letting out a long and tired sigh.


    I dropped into the chair and let myself sink as my exhaustion noisily escaped my throat.


    ¡°I¡¯ll drink to that!¡±


    She responded mockingly while motioning to a server for two drinks.


    ¡°I need you.¡±


    I mumbled as I slowly straightened myself out.


    ¡°Now? After all these years? Well, if I¡¯d known I would have worn something nicer, but I¡¯m sure I can get us a room some¡­¡±


    She started saying with a teasing smirk, but I cut her off.


    ¡°I need your services. One last time¡­ Before I leave.¡±


    She wiped off the smirk from her face and replaced it with a serious smile.


    The waiter finally put down two large tankards of ale in front of the two of us.


    ¡°Alright, let''s go somewhere a little quieter.¡±


    She picked up both our drinks and walked off toward the other side of the bar. I picked up my hat and followed her.


    While walking side by side, she barely reached my chest, but I knew she was not to be trifled with.


    It is unfortunate to say that the stereotype fits, but Evelyn, like a true follower of Istifh, was the local liaison to the grey market.


    It was with her help that I had managed to sneak Silika to the other side of the kingdom unimpeded. It came at a cost for sure, but the results spoke for themselves and Evelyn knew how to keep quiet.


    ¡°So what can I do for you, friend?¡±


    She asked as she sat down in one of the booths by the window


    She took a long sip from her drink while inviting me to do the same.


    Here, I understood, we could talk undisturbed.


    I took a sip, before I directed my hand toward the pocket of my bag, but stopped halfway and opted to use words instead.


    After all, voices could be muffled, but not eyes.


    ¡°I was¨C Handed¨C A specific object from the Everest household.¡±


    ¡°Handed?¡±


    She raised an eyebrow and I nodded.


    There was a very fine line between the grey market and the underworld.


    And that line, even for me, Evelyn wouldn¡¯t cross.


    ¡°Yes. In the name of Seeir, it was handed to me. I cannot speak for the one who I got it from, but I didn¡¯t ask for it either. So...¡±


    I motioned my hand implicitly.


    The tension in her face softened and she took another sip of ale.


    ¡°I¡¯m all ears then. Well figuratively speaking!¡±


    She said pleasantly, chuckling at her own joke.


    ¡°It¡¯s a stamp. I need it authenticated, but no one else can know I have it.¡±


    I said in a quick and dry voice.


    I looked around. Luckily, it seemed no one had heard. Evelyn¡¯s expression sobered up and she straightened herself in the seat.


    ¡°Is it¡­Is it hers?¡±


    She asked with a worried expression.


    I nodded almost imperceptibly before taking a sip from my drink.


    She leaned back on the bench and rubbed the right protrusion on her forehead pensively before looking back up at me.


    ¡°I can¡¯t help you, but I know who can.¡±


    She motioned once more to the server before turning back to me.


    ¡°I¡¯ll refer you, but¡­ You do know the risks of holding on to this type of thing, right? Even if it was... handed to you?¡±


    I nodded seriously.


    In a flash, the waiter came back with a quill and envelope.


    She dexterously scribbled down an introduction letter before sealing it with a nearby candle¡¯s wax and her thumb.


    Inelegant, but effective.


    ¡°You¡¯re heading for Evergreen right?¡±


    She said with a motion toward a large coach that I recognised as the one I had a ticket for.


    I nodded.


    ¡°You¡¯re going to take a detour. Of course, you could find a thousand people who could authenticate it for you once in the big city, but you don¡¯t want a thousand people to know, right?¡±


    I nodded yet again. Explaining the reasoning and liabilities was part of her business, and this was already my second rodeo.


    ¡°At Lake Point, you¡¯re going to switch carriage and head to Sunvale. Look for the green-headed man with four fingers on each hand at the coach station and give him the letter, sealed. He¡¯ll know what to do.¡±


    She handed me the letter, but as I grabbed it, she gripped my wrist.


    ¡°Be careful. I¡¯m serious.¡±


    She said while looking me in the eyes


    ¡°You¡¯re no good to the girl if you end up in a ditch.¡±


    I smiled at the comment and put a hand on her wrist.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be careful, I swear.¡±


    I heard a bell outside.


    ¡°That¡¯s my call.¡±


    I said as I stood up from my seat.


    She grunted and cleared her throat before extending her hand.


    ¡°Ah!¡±


    I exclaimed, realising my mistake.


    I dug out four silver coins from my pocket and handed them to her. She looked at the content and nodded affirmatively.


    ¡°I¡¯ll see you again.¡±


    She declared as she slipped the coins into her breast pocket.


    ¡°I doubt I¡¯ll ever come back to this dump.¡±


    I commented dubiously as I looked around the place.


    ¡°That¡¯s why I¡¯m saying I¡¯ll see you again. Take care!¡±


    I put my hat back on and, with a last nod, headed out toward the carriage.

 47. Red Velvet

    -Silika, be still. Else you won¡¯t be ready in time.-


    Mili asked as she tried once more to button my dress.


    More than a week had gone by since Dad had promised to take me out when I got better and today is finally the day!


    Unfortunately, my cold had gotten worse again after my short garden visit. The doctor had explained that it was probably because of a cool wind and I had spent the next two days resting under heavy blankets before I was even allowed back on the floor to play or draw¡­


    But enough of that! The important thing is that today is the day!


    In my newly renovated room, Mili put the finishing touches on my dress.


    -All done! Look!-


    Mili announced before turning me to face the mirror. A puffy green overcoat over a long white frilly dress. A short apron-cape was strapped around my shoulder and a large red bow around the collar. If I didn¡¯t know any better I would guess she was trying to turn me into a doll, but it looked cute so I forgive her!


    I happily spun around the dress making the frills dance in the morning sun filtering through the windows.


    Satisfied and excited about my new outfit I jumped off the short stool she had me standing on and looked around my room for Darkie.


    My room had been fixed up for a few days now, but this was only my first time back in here since that night.


    Things felt¡­ Foreign. Somehow. Like they belonged to someone else. It was harder to remember where things were.


    My mind told me that my room wasn¡¯t here. That it was above us on the third floor by the warm stone fireplace of Lionheart¡¯s office.


    I spotted Darkie sitting on a nearby low table and turned to this rooms hearth with a pang or disappointment. It was all the way at the opposite side of the room from the bed, right by the door on its right.


    [You think we could get them to move the bed closer to it?]


    I asked Darkie.


    To which he responded with an imperceivable shrug.


    ¡°It can¡¯t hurt to ask.¡±


    His response sounded less than convincing. Maybe it had something to do with the room¡¯s size?


    Anyway, I still resolved myself to at least ask once the opportunity arises.


    I looked once more at myself in the mirror, happy with my outfit.


    -Thank you, Mili!-


    I told her to which she politely nodded.


    -I¡¯m glad you like it!-


    She turned her head  toward the door for a moment and said something. She waited another moment and said something else before nodding to herself and turning back to me.


    -Sir Ashbrook is waiting. Are you ready?-


    I nodded excitedly.


    She took me by the hand and we walked down to the main hall where my dad was waiting for me.


    When he saw me coming down the stairs he stopped talking with Stash and smiled widely at me. As soon as I reached him he gallantly extended his hand. It wasn¡¯t in the usual way, instead it was in the way a gentleman would offer a hand to a lady.


    I gleefully took his hand and after waving goodbye to Mili, we headed out through the door. A carriage was waiting for us and as we reached the step, Lionheart scooped me up and helped me to my seat. Without any further notice, the carriage departed.


    I looked out of the window and watched as the familiar front yard of the estate turned into the large paved streets of the upper city. For a while, all that could be seen were the walls and gates of other properties, but soon enough the coach turned into the more busy part of the city. Contrary to the lower city where the orphanage was, the upper city was much more lavish. The buildings were made of even stone walls with perfectly maintained sloped tile roofs. Trees were planted along the crosswalk and every window was adorned with fresh flowers. There was beauty to be found in both of these parts of Evergreen, but here there was an order to things. A sense of safety and cleanliness.


    I stopped staring outside the window and turned back toward Lionheart.


    -Where are we going?-


    Dad had kept the exact nature of our outing a secret, saying that if I knew it would ruin the surprise.


    He smiled, knowing perfectly well what I was trying to do.


    -Well, for now at least, we¡¯re going to get some food.-


    I squinted my eyes in response.


    -...But where? What food?-


    He gave an exaggerated shrug before looking out the window with a satisfied smile.


    The carriage came to a stop and before I had time to look outside dad picked me up from my seat and escorted me out of the carriage.


    I looked at the building in front of me.


    For a moment, I was too stunned to really process what I was seeing.


    It looked as if it came from an entirely different place than here. While the other buildings were made of grey or yellowish stone, this one was pure white. Almost as if carved out of one big piece of marble. The cornices were sculpted in such a way that they looked like waves of whip cream and the windows were rounded at their bottom like fruits or cherries. It was truly a strange sight to behold. In the centre of the building was a signboard of a fluffy pastry.


    Lionheart put me down on the ground and took my hand as we crossed the entrance threshold. Once inside, I finally understood why the outside looked so strange. The walls were popping red and the trimmings of the walls and the surface of the counters were all white, like red velvet cakes!


    I had seen one once at Knox¡¯s birthday. Apparently it was his favourite cake. I don¡¯t really remember what it tasted like, but it was very pretty!


    A strangely dressed man with a long curly moustache approached us. He smiled politely in the direction of my father, but as soon as he noticed me his smile widened into a full grin.


    He proceeded to give an exaggerated curtsy, his nose almost reaching the floor while lifting the hem of his coat like a lady would a dress.


    I tried my best to maintain my composure, but I couldn¡¯t hold a puff of laughter from escaping my lips. He looked completely ridiculous. Seeing the man¡¯s beaming expression, it was all according to his plan. Once his act was over he stood back upright and politely addressed Lionheart who answered without blinking.


    Were people usually so odd here? Was this not dad¡¯s first time here as well? Why wasn¡¯t he surprised? It didn¡¯t look like the type of place he would come to¡­


    After the short exchange was over, the strange man consulted a booklet he took from his breast pocket before happily guiding us through a muffin shaped doorway. The place was so strange. Everything looked luxurious for sure, but no two tables or even chairs looked the same.


    Stolen novel; please report.


    The place was packed to the brim with people. Some simply drank tea while others seemed to be eating things that looked more like sculptures than confections.


    He sat us at a table by a large window, actually, it would be more accurate to say that my seat was the window. Apparently, their peculiar shape I had noticed from outside made them a very convenient seating spot.


    -What is this place?-


    I finally asked Lionheart who raised an eyebrow.


    -Well, I would say it¡¯s a cake shop by the looks of it.-


    He answered with a smirk and I felt my brows sink into a frown.


    What¡¯s with that answer?


    Despite my annoyance I still tried to ask again


    -I mean¡­ Why is it so¡­So¡­-


    -Weird?-


    He completed with a raised eyebrow.


    Why couldn¡¯t he be forward like this in the first place?


    -Yes! Weird! Why is this place weird?-


    -Well, the people who work here are weird¡­-


    -Yes, and?-


    -...And for someone to hire them, the owner has to be weird as well, right?-


    I frowned.


    -Yes that makes sense, but¡­-


    -...And so, a weird owner, would also build a weird restaurant, to sell weird food for weird reasons!-


    He concluded, before nodding to himself.


    ¡­What?


    -So this place is weird¡­ Because it¡¯s weird?-


    I asked, confused.


    Lionheart¡¯s lips parted into a wide smile.


    -Exactly! Isn¡¯t it interesting?-


    He said as he looked around.


    I followed his example and looked at the different oddities around the place. A chair made of spoons, a chandelier in the shape of a nose¡­ Two women eating a cake shaped like a stone.


    It made me¡­ Uncomfortable somehow.


    Lionheart looked at me and tilted his head.


    -You don¡¯t like it?-


    -It¡¯s not that¡­ I just don¡¯t understand. Why does a place like this exist? Why do people want to come here?-


    Lionheart nodded understandingly at my confusion before rubbing his chin for a moment.


    -Well it¡¯s a bit like this.-


    He said as he extended his hands once more.


    -You¡¯ve been to church before, you know what a church looks like. Some churches are bigger while some are smaller. Some are impressive while some are simple, but no matter what; a church always looks like a church. The same can be said for everything in life.-


    A waiter came to the table interrupting his explanation.


    Lionheart made an order and once the waiter left, he continued.


    -Do you like going to church?-


    Do I?


    I enjoy seeing Jade there and the Bishop is also nice¡­ But do I enjoy the ¡®church¡¯?


    Seeing my hesitation, Lionheart intervened.


    -Let me say it differently. Do you think churches look interesting?-


    He asked.


    The question was much easier to answer. Churches all looked the same to me, so I shook my head.


    -See? You understand. Once you have seen a church, you¡¯ve seen every church. It can be a small church, a big church, a beautiful church or an ugly church. You know what a church looks like. You stop thinking it looks interesting. It¡¯s the same everywhere, even our homes. Once you¡¯ve seen one house in Evergreen, you always know what other houses will look like. Of course they are all a bit different, but eventually seeing similar things over and over again becomes boring.-


    He stretched his hand toward the restaurant.


    -This is why people like coming to places like this, because it¡¯s different!-


    People like things that are different¡­ Is that right? It didn''t feel right.


    Isn¡¯t it more comfortable to be with things that you¡¯re used to? It¡¯s true that I don¡¯t think churches look especially interesting, but aren¡¯t they interesting once you go inside?


    ¡°Maybe what he meant is that, it¡¯s more interesting to find out about new things than it is to always see the same? Like when we play games with Mili, it¡¯s always better when it¡¯s a new game!¡±


    Darkie suggested from my lap.


    [Mmmh¡­. I guess you¡¯re right.]


    While I pondered on this, the waiter came back and placed teacups in the shape of bunnies in front of us.


    Immediately I scooched down to look at mine excitedly.  It was a white teacup except it had two little protrusion for ears and cute little eyes and nose drawn on it. I looked over at Lionheart¡¯s teacup just as he was lifting it up to drink.


    -Wait!-


    He stopped in his tracks  and put back down the cup, a curious expression on his face.


    -Can I have your cup?-


    I asked him.


    His teacup was black. I wanted to show it to Darkie.


    Seeing where my eyes were drawn, he smiled and nodded.


    He exchanged our cups and we both took a long sip simultaneously, but to my surprise it wasn¡¯t tea.


    -It¡¯s sweet! Like cake!-


    I exclaimed.


    He smiled knowingly.


    -It¡¯s called hot chocolate. It comes from a plant known as cocoa that grows in the Kingdom of Avlir, far to the west. Do you know about it?-


    Avlir¡­ I had heard the name before. Many interesting things came from Avlir.  I once saw it on a map and it was easily three times the size of Firsland.


    -A little bit. It¡¯s a very big country. They make spice and silk.-


    Lionheart nodded proudly.


    -That¡¯s right! Spice and Silk from Avlir are sought throughout the continent. Very good!-


    I smiled happily, a warm feeling spreading through my cheeks.


    It was pretty rare for him to praise me like this.


    -I heard they make very pretty clothes as well.-


    He nodded strongly.


    He was obviously very happy that I knew so much about that place¡­ Maybe I should ask Mili to help me read a book on it later so I can tell dad more about it.


    In the meantime, I happily drank more chocolate from the cup.


    The waiter came back, this time carrying a large tray of sweets and pastries which Lionheart and I slowly ate as we chatted about different things.


    He told me a lot about his travel when he was younger. Although he hadn¡¯t gone all the way to Alvir, he had many times travelled to the Heillhs empire and to the Seeir Theocracy. He told me about how different people there were. In Heillhs, people were harsh but also honourable and with a good sense of humour, while the people of the Theocracy were often stiff and serious, but also polite and helpful.


    He also talked about what he called their "political structure".


    It was a bit hard to follow, but the gross lines were that in Heillhs, there were three types of people. Those who didn''t own land, those who own land and don''t fight, and those who own land and fight. Since they followed the teaching of Steihnner they believed those who engaged in warfare to be most honourable and so every landowner who fought was considered nobility while those who didn''t were considered their vassals. The Seeir Theocracy on the other hand had no nobles at all! Only Kinsmann which administered all aspects of the country


    Strange for sure.


    We talked for what felt like hours and finished our meal. Dad reordered hot chocolate three times and they even brought a stuffed cupcake for Darkie to eat! We got up to leave and I tried to return the plush cake to the waiter, but he refused and Lionheart explained that it was a gift.


    Satisfied, we left the restaurant.


    -So did you like it?-


    He asked as we walked hand-in-hand into the street.


    I nodded strongly before looking around confused.


    -Where¡¯s the carriage?-


    I asked him.


    -Nowhere. We¡¯re walking.-


    -All the way home?!-


    I asked incredulously.


    The house would take at least an hour to reach by foot if not more!


    -The day is only beginning, you already want to go home?-


    He asked, disappointed.


    Just beginning? I shook my head. I  don¡¯t know what else there is, but if that place was only the beginning, I can¡¯t wait to see the rest of it!


    He looked visibly relieved and glanced up at the sky for a moment.


    -There¡¯s still some time, why don¡¯t we take a stroll at the park?-


    The ¡®park¡¯? I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve ever been to a park¡­ I heard it¡¯s like a garden, but bigger?


    I nodded and we started walking.


    We headed to the park and sure enough it looked like an enormous garden. Easily ten times as big as our house and the flowers were just as impressive! Small buildings, sculptures and fountains were scattered about the place all adorned with a flurry of colourful plants.


    People sat on benches and had picnics on the grass. Performers were dancing, singing and other things.


    It was very lively¡­ But I, on the other hand, suddenly felt very sleepy.


    Seeing me rubbing my eyes, Lionheart stopped walking for a moment.


    -Do you need to rest?-


    -I¡¯m¨C -


    I said before another tickle in my eye interrupted me.


    I rubbed my eye strongly and once the itching was gone, continued.


    - ¨COkay¡­-


    He looked at me with an unconvinced expression before picking me up. Instantly I felt a wave of fatigue take me over as I rested my head on his chest.


    I closed my eyes and felt myself drift to sleep almost instantly.

 48. The Red Ballet

    [Mmmh¡­? Where?]


    I opened my eyes slowly, still in a daze as my senses registered the world around me. Everything was so¡­ Green¡­ and blue. The sun above me was blocked by leaves making the light dazzle in all sorts of colours only interrupted by the pale hue of the sky.


    As I blinked a few times, I felt a palm softly patting my head. It was dad, calmly looking around the park. He must not have noticed I had woken up yet, so I simply looked at him.


    He seemed wistful as he calmly sat there. As if more immersed in his own thoughts than he was watching. He looked down and, surprised to find me awake, smiled softly.


    -Did you have a good nap?-


    I nodded and slowly lifted my head from his lap. We were still at the park, but the sun was now lower in the sky. It was probably early afternoon. Around this time, Mili would usually get me my snack. Right on cue, I felt my stomach rumble.


    -let''s go for a snack, what do you say?-


    Lionheart asked, a muffled chuckle escaping his lips.


    I felt my cheeks go red and nodded.


    He helped me up from the bench and we headed out of the park into the busy streets. We stopped at a vendor window. Lionheart handed the woman handling the window a few copper coins and she returned with what looked like a meat cucumber.


    I looked at it curiously for a moment before turning to dad.


    -What is it?-


    I asked while pointing at it.


    -It¡¯s a sausage. It¡¯s made from minced pork. I took the cheese flavour one for yours, so it should taste very cheesy!-


    He explained before taking a bite out of his own.


    Sausage... Pork AND cheese¡­ What a strange combination. The smell was very appetising, so without any further hesitation, I took a bite and, immediately, flavour flooded my mouth. It tasted of so many things I couldn¡¯t single out any specific taste. All I could tell was how good it was!


    Lionheart once more took my hand and we continued walking. He looked like he knew where we were going, but as both my hands were full, I couldn¡¯t ask him about it. Eventually, we reached a large building with a large carpeted entrance. Several well-dressed people were idly talking in front. After discarding the sausage stick, Lionheart helped me to wipe my hands with a handkerchief, and we then started approaching the entrance.


    No one tried to talk to us, but I could tell some glances were aimed in our direction. As we reached the top of the stairs, two men opened the door wide open. Hundreds of people were happily chatting. All of them were well-dressed and elegant. Was this some sort of party?


    A man behind a desk greeted us and Lionheart approached him. Lionheart pulled a pair of sleek pieces of paper from his pocket and handed them to the man. They discussed pleasantly for a few moments before the man motionned us toward the rest of the room.


    Still holding hands, we slowly made our way through the crowd.


    A noble-looking man suddenly cut us off and greeted Lionheart with a handshake. Noticing me, he gave a short polite bow, but before I could respond, he began talking to Lionheart. While the man busied himself with ingratiating himself with Lionheart, an obviously troubled woman and two children briskly joined him from a distance away.


    She politely curtsied to my father before turning toward me expectantly. What did¡­ Oh! I remember being taught about it before! There was an order for greetings!


    If you were ranked lower than someone, you had to greet them first, and only after they would greet you back. When you were of the same rank it didn¡¯t matter, but, if you were a child, your rank was considered one step lower from your parent, so the child of a marquess wouldn¡¯t have to bow to anyone below that stature, but he would have to do so for any other marquess. Since Lionheart is a baron, it was safe to assume that I should bow to anyone who was considered above the title of a lord.


    I quickly curtsied to which the woman smiled and curtsied back.


    She asked me something, but I didn¡¯t catch any of it so I simply turned to Lionheart who seemed to already be explaining my circumstances. Seemingly curious, the woman started asking questions to which her husband, who had already been talking to Lionheart, participated. He seemed to have been in the know of my circumstance somehow and didn¡¯t seem fazed. As the three of them grew engrossed in their conversation, I turned my attention to the two children who had finally reached their parents. The boy looked about my age while the girl looked younger and hid behind her brother¡¯s back. She couldn¡¯t be older than 3 or 4 years old.


    The boy observed me curiously as if looking at a strange animal. He asked me something, but being unable to understand, I simply tilted my head.


    He asked again, but this time pointing at his head and tilting his head as well.


    Although I couldn¡¯t hear it, I felt pretty familiar with this particular line of inquiry at this point. With a simple nod, I confirmed his suspicion that I could indeed not hear what he was telling me.


    Surprised, he started pulling on his mother¡¯s skirt while calling out to her. She eventually bent over and listened to him. He told her things as she calmly smiled. Once he was done she answered and gently patted his head and his sister¡¯s who had been quietly watching them.


    I looked up at Lionheart, confused about the interaction. Understanding the situation he signed to me.


    -Their Great-Aunt is apparently also deaf. He¡¯s very fond of her so he¡¯s happy to meet someone else like her.-


    He¡¯s happy to meet someone like me? Why? Isn¡¯t it weird to like someone because they¡¯re¡­ Broken?


    ¡°I don¡¯t think he means it in a bad way.¡±


    Darkie whispered from my satchel.


    Hmm¡­ I guess Darkie is right. What was it that dad was saying earlier¡­ ¡®People like things that are different¡¯? I guess you could say I¡¯m different, so people might like me for it¡­


    Although it feels odd. As though I¡¯m an object and not a person.


    Suddenly, the entire room¡¯s attention shifted toward the back of the room.


    The man turned back to us and said a few words to Lionheart before extending his hand toward him. Lionheart nodded and shook his hand. The woman and the two children then gave a polite bow which Lionheart and I responded to in kind and they went on their way.


    -Who were they?-


    I asked dad.


    -An old friend. He wanted to see you.-


    I tilted my head.


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    -Why would he want to do that?-


    I asked, but he shrugged.


    -Curiosity, maybe?-


    He took my hand and started walking in the same direction as the crowd.


    -What¡¯s going on exactly?-


    I asked him.


    He still hadn¡¯t told me where we were.


    He blinked a few times and stopped in his tracks...


    -Sorry it must have slipped my mind¡­ Well, you will see soon enough anyway.-


    We kept walking and the flow of people started splitting. Some went up staircases on either side while some continued down a hallway. Lionheart picked me up so I wouldn¡¯t get swept away by the flow of people and then took the stairs. The upper floor looked like a restaurant, but for some reason, everyone was either getting up or kept walking past the tables and filtering out through large doors.


    The crowd slowly grew thinner until we reached the corner where an attendant was waiting with a smile on his face. Lionheart spoke to him and the man smiled widely before indicating to follow him through a long hallway. The left wall was filled with dozens of doors all strangely arranged diagonally. He finally opened a door about midway through and invited us in. The sight that was waiting for me was incredible. It was a theatre, I knew that right away, but like no other, I had ever seen. We were in some sort of private room overlooking the entire room, including the other seats. Once dad put me down, I was able to take a better look and noticed there were other small rooms like ours. Three floors of them in fact. In them were families or single individuals comfortably sitting by themselves or drinking from their glasses.


    -You can drink from your seat here?!-


    I asked Lionheart incredulous.


    In my experience, when at the theatre, you only sat in your seat and that¡¯s it. He started laughing almost immediately.


    -The first thing you noticed after seeing the largest theatre in the kingdom is that you can eat in private booths?-


    He signed as he suppressed another bout of laughter.


    I puffed my cheek in embarrassment as I looked down at the crowd. It seems lionheart was developing a habit of making fun of me. I didn¡¯t like it, but somehow I didn¡¯t really want him to stop either? Maybe it¡¯s because it feels like he pays attention to what I say when he does?


    My eyes wandered about to a booth across from us where I locked eyes with the boy from earlier. A big smile drew itself on his lips and he waved energetically. Still not too sure what to think after my discussion with Lionheart, I didn¡¯t react right away, but I then felt it might be rude to ignore him so I quickly waved. I glanced at Lionheart and noticed him smirking.


    -How do you like the M?s?-


    He asked me while nudging his chin in the direction of the family across from us.


    -They seem nice¡­ Madam M?s seems like a kind person, Lord M?s as well.-


    I answered carefully.


    I was honestly not sure what to think, but it looked like dad and the man were friends. He would probably prefer that I like them.


    -What about their kids? F?? is a bit younger but Mr?n is about your age.-


    So many names¡­ My head felt like it was spinning already. F?? looked a bit like my name so I guessed he must have meant it as the girl while Mr?n must be the boy¡­


    -They¡­ Seem nice as well.-


    I answered as confidently as I could manage.


    Seeing the smile Lionheart made, it must have been the right answer.


    -I¡¯m glad. Maybe you can all become friends. They are our neighbours after all.-


    I tilted my head.


    -They live close to our house?-


    -Ah. No, sorry. I didn¡¯t explain properly. Count M?s is right next to our territory.-


    Wait. ¡®Count¡¯ M?s? Wasn¡¯t dad a Baron? Yet the man greeted him first¡­ This is all so confusing¡­ I¡¯ll ask Stash or Mili about it later.


    A waiter eventually came by our booth with drinks and snacks. We started slowly nibbling on the food, while the people in the room settled in their seats.


    -What¡¯s the¡­-


    Just as I was about to ask Lionheart about the show, the red curtains lifted and the light in the room dimmed as the chandeliers were raised.


    A woman appeared, standing still, in the centre of the stage. She was dressed in a long red dress. Her long dark hair nearly blended with her ash coloured skin. The only exceptions were the two sanguine eyes and a short red line that ran vertically down her lips. Around her, long wooden poles stood tall, like a cage.


    I felt a strange pressure building in my chest as I watched the woman. Her eyes were melancholic but her lips were locked in a determined expression. The dancing lights of chandeliers made the shadows of the bar flicker around, but the woman always remained illuminated, as though she was light herself.


    Slowly one of her arms started moving downward. Once it reached her hips it stopped and her second hand started slowly going down before bouncing in unison upward and slowly going down. Like the wings of a bird. Then one of her legs emerged from underneath the dress, completely dark as well. She took a step forward, and then another while continuing the rhythm of her hands. She then twist herself and jumped, spreading her legs apart. Her dress was sent flying into the air, revealing layers of yellow, orange and red fabric underneath her dress, making her look like the flame of a candle.


    [Beautiful¡­]


    I couldn¡¯t help but whisper.


    Probably having heard me, Lionheart turned to me and smiled but didn¡¯t say anything. The woman in red continued dancing from within her cage and eventually, a second actor entered the stage. It was a tall man. His body was entirely covered by a large white cloak which trailed behind him. He walked toward the cage slowly, watching the woman dance wildly within. Was he mesmerized, confused or angry? I couldn¡¯t tell since his face was completely covered, but once his hand finally touched one of the cage''s bars, the woman stopped jumping and slowly shrunk herself into a ball as she held her knees. The man slowly walked around the cage from one bar to the other, and every time the woman would roll the same distance away in the opposite direction. Like a two-piece pendulum.


    -This feels familiar, but¡­ I¡¯ve never seen this play or heard of anything like it.-


    I finally mentioned to Lionheart.


    The woman stood up once more and started dancing again but refused to face the man. It looked as though she was fleeing, but there was desperation in the man¡¯s pace, as though despite the fact that she was the prisoner, she had control over him by refusing him the right to see her face.


    -Not surprising. This play was banned for several years and the story behind it is¡­ Well, very controversial.-


    He looked at me and, seeing my interested expression, continued.


    -This play is called ¡®The first dance of the Red Lady¡¯. It depicts one of the darker tales of the ¡®War in Heaven¡¯...-


    The War in Heaven. That was the war between the gods that had resulted in the banishment of the god of creation and the collapse of the immaterium planes of the gods.


    -During the final days of the war, before the gods¡¯ passed their judgement, the goddess of life, Fey, was imprisoned in the Depths, the plane of the god of death, Solomon. There is no records of what truly happened during her imprisonment. Not even whether Solomon had been the one to imprison her in the first place. The only thing that is known is that the Red Lady was scarred. Her entire body was licked by the burning depths of the immaterium and turned her skin into ash¡­-


    My throat felt dry as I listened to the story. It was strange to say, but I felt a sort of closeness to Fey suddenly.


    I looked down at the play once more, the two dancers were growing ever closer, but Fey was still fleeing as Solomon desperately pursued her.


    -But¡­ If Solomon hurt Fey, why does he look so¡­ Sad?-


    Lionheart looked at my hand and nodded seriously before looking at the play himself.


    -That¡¯s exactly why the play is so controversial. As I said, there is no record, no stories, not even passing comments from the gods on the subject. We simply do not know what happened in the Depths¡­ And this play makes it appear as though Solomon is just as much a victim as Fey. As though he is suffering the same as she is. Many Fey kins were outraged at this interpretation and so the kingdom banned it¡­ Until this year that is.-


    He concluded as he grasped his hands together.


    I looked at the dancers, both desperately running and dancing.


    -It makes me feel sad¡­-


    I simply stated to which Lionheart nodded, but didn¡¯t add anything.


    The dance reached its apogee as fey danced around the bars and escaped off-stage as Solomon sat on the ground watching her in awe. The stage lights suddenly closed and white curtains blocked the stage.


    People stood up from their seats and started clapping enthusiastically. Dad and I enthusiastically did the same.


    This play somehow spoke to me.


    Perhaps, I too escaped? Perhaps things can work out? But what of Solomon? Did I have a Solomon?

 49. What the wind blew in

    [This is so boring.]


    I mumbled to myself as I watched an old woman with a weird haircut make even weirder faces.


    It was apparently called ¡®Opera¡¯ and was ¡®very refined¡¯. Lionheart explained that it¡¯s a type of music, so I wouldn¡¯t really get it either way.


    After the break, there had been a more interesting performance by what Lionheart called ¡®mummers¡¯. The play didn¡¯t have any spoken lines so it had been a thrill for me to follow along, but this ¡®opera¡¯ was just too much.


    Just as I was about to doze off, Lionheart poked me on the shoulder. I sat up in a panic.


    [I¡¯m awake! I¡¯m awake!]


    I said outloud as I turned to an amused Lionheart who pointed behind us.


    There, standing in the open door, was the boy from earlier. His name was¡­ M¡­ Something.


    -Young lord M?s here wanted to know if you would like to go play with him.-


    Lionheart explained.


    -Play?-


    I asked surprised.


    Why would he want to play with me?


    -Play what?-


    Lionheart turned to the boy who said three short words to which Lionheart nodded.


    -He wants you to play hide and seek with him and his sister.-


    Hide and seek? I hadn¡¯t played hide and seek in ages!


    Before I realised, I had already jumped from my seat and headed toward the door, but realised I should probably make sure I was allowed to go first.


    I turned back to Lionheart who simply smiled and nodded.


    Excited, I nodded back and followed the M-something boy out of the room. He guided me to the end of the hallway back to the main room where his little sister was impatiently waiting for us.


    They spoke to each other for a bit. The boy looked uncertain for a moment but relented.


    He turned to me and smiled as he pointed at himself before covering his eyes and then showing himself counting down with his fingers. He then looked at me and tilted his head.


    AH! I guess he means that he¡¯s going to count!


    I nodded energetically. He looked ecstatic at my response and gave me a thumbs up before walking toward a wall and covering his eyes.


    His sister immediately ran off somewhere and I started looking. There wasn¡¯t much time before he would be done. I needed to find a good hiding spot.


    The room had many places to hide luckily. There were tables everywhere, plants and decorations. I spotted an especially large pot in the corner of the room and headed in that direction. As I expected, there was a little space behind it where I could fit.


    I slipped in, glanced at the room from my hiding spot and noticed the boy had finished counting. I quickly backed away, but accidentally nudged the pot. It started trembling from side to side. I tried to make it stop, but it was too late. In a flash, the boy was standing in front of me, arms crossed and a satisfied look on his face.


    [I lost¡­]


    I mumbled.


    After quietly gloating, he extended a hand toward me. I guess he¡¯s not a sore winner like the kids at the orphanage at least¡­


    I grabbed his hand and got to my feet. I quickly patted the folds of my dress down but¡­


    Hey! That M boy wasn¡¯t releasing my hand!


    Without a word, he started walking, still not letting go of my hand.


    [Wait! Stop that!]


    I tried to complain, but it fell on deaf ears and he continued walking around with a smile on his face.


    I could feel my cheek burning from embarrassment. I didn¡¯t mind holding hands with Dad or Jade¡­ But a boy I didn¡¯t even know? It felt weird. What if someone saw? I tried to hide my face but noticed a few people snickering as we passed. They definitely must have noticed¡­.


    The boy took his time looking for his sister, sometimes looking back and smiling, but turning away before I could say anything.


    I was certain he had looked for me much quicker than he was now doing for his sister. Is he playing a joke on me?


    As we walked down the hall I noticed a curtain shifting.


    [Ah!]


    I pulled on the boy¡¯s sleeve who surprisingly responded and looked back at me. I pointed at the curtain and he made a surprised expression.


    Just as I thought.


    The boy finally released my hand and put a finger on his lips to tell me to stay quiet. I nodded and he slowly inched toward the curtains. He then whipped them aside, revealing the ginger-haired girl. She looked stunned for a second before an angry expression drew itself on her face. She closed her fist and brought it down roughly on her brother¡¯s head.


    It mustn¡¯t have hurt much since he started laughing uncontrollably.


    He looked like a bit of a jerk, but curious, I looked up at his sister. Her puffed cheek perfectly emphasized her small amethyst eyes as her thick ginger hair bounced around while she shook her head. She looked a bit like a squirrel¡­


    I let out a snicker at the thought and received a well-earned thump on the head. I guess I¡¯m also a jerk now¡­


    After the girl had calmed down and everyone had settled down, it seems it was now my turn to look for them.


    After waving goodbye to them, I turned toward the wall and started counting to 10.


    [1¡­]


    Now that I think about it, it¡¯s really a bit nostalgic. Playing hide and seek like that.


    [2¡­]


    When was the last I played? Maybe at the orphanage?


    [3¡­]


    No, if we had done something like that Hare would have scolded us.


    [4¡­]


    So then, the last time I played must have been¡­


    [...5...]


    ¡­That day.


    [...]


    No, I don¡¯t want to think about it. I shook my head and resumed counting.


    [...6¡­7¡­8¡­9¡­10!]


    I turned around and as expected, the two had run off to hide. I use to be confident at hiding but, searching on the other hand¡­ I let out a sigh.


    This won¡¯t be easy.


    I looked around the second floor hall. There were many tables around and corners to hide in, but seeing how good the girl had been to hide behind a curtain in a secluded hallway, I probably wouldn¡¯t find them here.


    I still scanned through rapidly before moving on. I didn¡¯t find anything, but I did receive some curious smiles.


    A woman even tried to speak to me, but, not knowing what else to do, I bowed my head, gave an apologetic smile and moved on.


    There was no point trying to explain. No one ever got it.


    I turned a corner and headed down the hallway that lead to the booths on the left side of the theatre. I considered opening the doors to the booths, but I figured I could get in trouble if the occupants found my presence a nuisance. At the end of the hallway was a small archway covered by a curtain.


    Curious, I peeked through.


    The room was dark, but I could see light further down. Curious, I decided to investigate. The ground was different here, wood planks covered the floor and I could feel them creak under my weight.


    I cautiously made my way forward and reached the corner of the room where an opening stood on the right. I peeked through and noticed several men walking around. They were pulling on ropes and moving props around a sort of passerelle. Underneath I could see what looked like the play¡¯s backgrounds.


    A man noticed me. He looked at me angrily and shooed me away  with a movement of his hand. Slightly scared I retreated in a hurry back to the hallway.


    As I crossed the curtain in a run, my head struck something roughly.


    [Ouch!]


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    I rubbed my forehead and looked up.


    A man was standing there.


    [Sorry!]


    I said outloud as I quickly bowed and tried to run away, still thinking about the angry looking man in the dark room, but I was held back.


    I turned back and noticed the man¡¯s hands moving.


    -Are you all right?-


    He asked as he bent down.


    -I¡¯m f¡­-


    Wait. He just signed to me!


    I looked up.


    He had a strange smile on his face. The sort servants wore when they were having a long day. It was inscrutenable, but meant to look kind. His two eyes were barely visible between  the slits of his eyelids and the bangs of his green hair.


    -You know the secret language?-


    I asked him confused.


    This was the first time I met a stranger who knew how.


    -That¡¯s right. I use it for work.-


    There is work that uses the secret language? It reminds me, Darkie and I had thought about becoming secret language teachers in the past, maybe it was something like that..?


    I frowned. Something still feels wrong.


    -...But how did you know that I also speak the secret language?-


    His smiled curved upward. Maybe that was meant to be an actual smile? Yet his eyes remained the same.


    -Why do you think?-


    He asked as he observed me. The same way a predator would watch his prey.


    I hesitated for a moment.


    -Do you¡­ know who I am?-


    His smile became even wider while his eyes still remained inscrutable. It was unnerving.


    -You¡¯re a clever girl. Yes, I know who you are. I know your dad too.-


    -I¨C Is that so?-


    I glanced to the side, looking for an opportunity to walk away, but it felt like he had me cornered.


    -That¡¯s right, Si-li-ka A-s-h-b-roo-k.-


    I felt a shiver run down my spine, the way he spelt my name felt so strange. As if he was trying to say something else.


    -So, how do you like your new home? I hear you only recently arrived to the capital.-


    Without realising, my hand froze up. It took me a moment to relax them enough to reply.


    -It¡¯s nice. I like it.-


    -More than where you lived before?-


    He asked his question immediately after my previous answer. His face twitched as though he had just seen something at the corner of his eyes, yet he kept staring at me.


    -Y¨C Yeah.-


    Why is he asking me this? I don¡¯t like thinking about where I used to live¡­


    -That¡¯s good! And your father? Do you like your father?-


    I nodded nervously. I wanted to leave, but I couldn¡¯t see any way to sneak by and I was scared of what he would do if I tried to run away.


    His face twitched again, making his green bangs move away from his face for a moment revealing two shining pink eyes. I hated the fact that I was suddenly reminded of Dalton¡¯s.


    -Ah that¡¯s great! Great! So let me ask you one last question: do you prefer your father or your new home.-


    I frowned.


    -Dad.-


    I responded without any hesitation, but felt angry he would even make the comparison.


    His smile grew so large I thought his face was about to split open. It was disgusting.


    -I¡¯m glad! Well homes are only a roof and walls when you really think about it, so what¡¯s the point of getting attached.-


    He slowly stood up, towering over me.


    -Well I won¡¯t hold you any longer! Have a good trip, young lady.-


    Just as I tried to walk away from him, he blocked my way one more time.


    -Ah! I almost forgot! Here. For taking up your time.-


    The man dug in his pocket and handed me a small object. On closer inspection, it looked like a golden brooch with an emerald flower on it. It was pretty, but it reminded me of his hair, so I was also slightly disgusted.


    A gift was still a gift, so I politely curtsied in thanks without a word.


    -Please don¡¯t throw it away; it would hurt my feeling.-


    He said as he opened up the way and allowed me through.


    It¡¯s unfortunate that he told me not to throw it away since it had been my first thought¡­


    When I made it back to the main hall the two siblings were waiting.


    When they spotted me, they rushed in my direction with worried expression. It seems my encounter with the strange man had taken longer than I realised.


    Not being able to really explain what happened, all I could do was make a pathetic expression and mumble an apology. The little sister seemed to be on the verge of tears and hugged me while the boy patted my head.


    Lionheart emerged from the stairs leading down and looked relieved when he spotted me.


    -There you are! I was so worried about  you!-


    He said. The little girl released me and Lionheard replaced her, hugging me tight. He didn¡¯t usually come and hug me like this¡­


    Was he really that worried?


    -I¡¯m sorry.-


    I managed to sign from my awkward position.


    He released me slightly.


    -I was talking to a strange person.-


    I tried to explain.


    -A strange person?-


    I nodded and showed him the content of my hand, but he quickly covered it up as he glanced up. Once he made sure no one had noticed, he took the brooch from me and stuffed it into his belt.


    I felt slightly relieved about not having to hold on to it anymore.


    -I¡¯ll keep it for now, ok?-


    I nodded.


    The couple from earlier noticed us and rushed in our direction from the other side of the room.


    Lionheart stood up to greet them, but the woman completely ignore him and  kneeled on the ground in front of me, dirtying her pretty dress. She looked me down with her amethyst eyes. She looked worried, but let out a sigh once she noticed I was alright and gave me a big hug. She turned to the boy and scolded him strongly.


    He looked pretty miserable and turned to me. He said something and bowed in apology.


    [It¡¯s ok it¡¯s not your fault.]


    I said out loud before signing the same to my dad who immediately relayed the message.


    The boy looked relieved and bowed again. His mom still looked angry but had a satisfied expression on her face. She bowed to dad and I and forced her husband, who had been standing around with a confused expression, to do the same.


    After the situation was resolved we greeted each other and they went on their way.


    Lionheart picked me up.


    -Is the play over?-


    I asked him when he started heading down the stairs.


    -That¡¯s right. Did you have fun?-


    He asked with a worried expression.


    -Yeah, it was great!-


    He made a relieved expression and kissed me on the forehead.


    I felt flustered. I think it¡¯s the first time he¡¯s ever kissed me. I felt all warm and fuzzy.


    -You really gave us a scare.-


    He signed with his empty hand.


    -I¡¯m sorry¡­-


    -It¡¯s ok, it¡¯s not your fault.-


    We finally stepped outside the theatre where a carriage was waiting for us. He sat me beside him and draped a blanket over our knees.


    The carriage departed and I leaned back against the seat. Lionheart took out the broach and looked at it attentively, almost as if it was meant to mean something.


    -Did that man say anything to you when he gave you this?-


    He finally asked after a long moment of silence.


    I shook my head, but then thought better of it.


    -He asked me how I like my new home¡­ And if I liked dad.-


    -And you answered¡­?-


    I looked at him, feeling offended.


    -I said that I like the house and that I like you!-


    He smiled awkwardly.


    -Of course, sorry. That was a dumb question.-


    He went back to staring at the brooch for a moment.


    -Did he say anything else?-


    He asked.


    It was odd. For some reason, Lionheart wasn¡¯t surprised that the man and I could speak to each other.


    -He just said to have a nice trip.-


    -A nice trip?-


    -I think he meant it as a joke. He was smiling a lot.-


    Lionheart made a slightly disgusted expression.


    So he WAS familiar with the man!


    He nodded to himself and gave me the brooch once more. I wanted to hand hit back to him, but he stopped me.


    -Keep it.-


    He signed with a firm expression on his face


    -...Why?-


    I couldn¡¯t help but ask.


    I really didn¡¯t want to hold on to such a gift.


    -Ha. I guess you don¡¯t know what this is, do you?-


    I shook my head.


    -It¡¯s called a signet. It¡¯s something that you usually give to important servants and vassals¡­ Or to very close friends. With this, you can freely enter the signet¡¯s owner¡¯s estates and receive hospitality¡­ Think of it like a key, but to a noble¡¯s estate.-


    A key? Wait¡­ Why did a complete stranger give me the key to his estate?!


    -Why did he give this to me?-


    I asked Lionheart, but he had a complicated expression.


    -I have to admit, I¡¯m just as perplexed¡­-


    We both fell silent.


    I spun the brooch a few times in my hands while looking at the lamposts¡¯ light reflect on the emerald stones.


    -So¡­ Whose estate is this for anyway?-


    Lionheart let out a tired chuckle. It didn¡¯t look like an amused laugh.


    He mumbled something to himself before answering.


    -The signet belongs to the Prnm family.-


    He said off-handedly.


    -Prnm¡­-


    The name didn¡¯t ring any bells, but neither did most names.


    -So, it looks like the M?s are quite fond of you!-


    Lionheart said to change subject.


    -Yeah I was surprised; I didn¡¯t expect the madam to hug me like that!-


    He chuckled quietly.


    -You and me both! But I hear she¡¯s not the only one who¡¯s very fond of you!-


    I tilted my head.


    -What do you mean?-


    -A little bird told me they saw a cute girl holding hands with a boy all around the place tonight.-


    He said with a playful expression on his face.


    I immediately felt my face turn red.


    -I¨C I don¡¯t know what you¡¯re talking about! I¨C I¨C I  didn¡¯t see anything like that!-


    I stumbled on my words.


    I knew someone saw me¡­ And now even dad knows about it! I just want to disappear¡­


    I pulled up the blanket and covered my face with it. Maybe that would hide me from dad, but from the way the bench was shaking, I could tell he was laughing loudly.


    The carriage continued along and before long we arrived at the estate.


    Lionheart pulled me out from underneath the blanket and  tucked me into his arms. He stepped down from the carriage and looked at me fondly for a moment.


    -Don¡¯t grow too fast.-


    He caressed my cheek affectionately and shifted my weight in his arms.


    -I don¡¯t get it.-


    -Maybe it¡¯s better that you don¡¯t. Come on, lets get you to bed.-


    He walked up the stairs to the entrance hall and the coachman opened the door for him. When we crossed the threshold, I felt the air shift immediately. Lionheart¡¯s posture straighened up and I could feel his heartbeat going wild.


    Curious I turned around.


    Servants, including Stash and Mili were standing around the hall with solemn expressions. At the center, an older man was standing dressed in a heavy traveling cloaks. His expression was sharp and his golden eyes jumped from me to my father. He pulled back his grey parsed red hair and said something to Lionheart.


    Dad replied to him with equal solemnity.


    He looked down at me  before calling out to Mili.


    -Sorry Silika, I can¡¯t put you to bed. I have to talk to our guest.-


    Understanding that the situation was serious, I nodded quietly.


    Lionheart smiled apologetically and put me down on my feet.


    Mili took my hand and we started walking up the stairs. I glanced back just in time to see the old man putting his hand on dad¡¯s shoulder as this one looked down at the floor.


    A mixture of sadness and resolve in his eyes.

 50. The meaning of family

    I couldn¡¯t sleep.


    It was so late when we got back that once Mili had brought me to my room, she had immediately tucked me into bed, but so many things had happened that I couldn¡¯t settle down.


    Things were bouncing around my mind. Who was the old man downstairs? What about the strange one at the theatre? Why did he give me a signet? Why did dad not like it? Why were the M?s so nice to me? Was it because I was deaf? Did the boy like me?  Why did the count bow to dad? Were any of these things good? Bad?


    I sat up and held Darkie in front of me.


    [What do you think?]


    I asked him, out of idea.


    ¡°Maybe it¡¯s better to think that everything is a good thing?¡±


    He suggested hesitantly.


    [That would be easier¡­ But can we really trust people to be good? What if the M?s actually want to hurt me? Or dad?]


    ¡°Why would they?¡±


    [Because¡­ Hum¡­ Well what about the weird man?]


    ¡°Well dad said signet are something you give to very good friends. So maybe he just really really likes you?¡±


    [But how does that make sense? I never met him before¡­]


    ¡°Maybe he met YOU before.¡±


    [I think I would remember an ugly man like him.]


    ¡°That¡¯s not a nice thing to say!¡±


    [But he was ugly!]


    ¡°...¡±


    [... Okay, I¡¯m sorry.]


    I let myself fall back on the bed.


    [What about the M boy?]


    ¡°What about him?¡±


    [He held my hand¡­]


    ¡°...And?¡±


    [And I remember hearing that you only hold hands with someone you want to marry¡­]


    ¡°But don¡¯t you hold hands with Mili all the time? You also hold hands with with Jade and Hare. You always hold Lionheart¡¯s hand and even Stash!¡±


    [...Uh¡­ I guess you¡¯re right. Maybe you CAN hold hands with someone without marrying them.]


    ¡°See?¡±


    [Okay. You¡¯re right...]


    I turned to my side and looked out the window.


    [But what about the man downstairs?]


    Darkie fell silent for a moment.


    He was a mystery. I had never seen him before. Neither dad nor Mili had told me anything about him. What did his arrival mean?


    ¡°...Why don¡¯t you just ask Lionheart?¡±


    I sat up again at the realisation.


    [You¡¯re right! I can just ask him!]


    But I was suddenly reminded of the time. Wouldn¡¯t he get mad if I was up during sleep time?


    ¡°Didn¡¯t he say you could come see him if you had a nightmare again?¡±


    [But I didn¡¯t have a nightmare¡­]


    ¡°...Does he know that?¡±


    [...Darkie, you are a genius!]


    Having made up my mind. I slowly lowered myself out of bed. I made my way to the door and peeked outside. The hallway was empty. I slowly stepped out, being careful not too accidentally slam the door behind me. Mili always complained that the doors were very noisy in the mansion. I then went up the stairs.


    I rounded the corner and was surprised to find dad standing in the middle of the hallway. He was facing the door that led to the portrait room lantern in hand, looking anxious.


    I stopped. Suddenly I wasn¡¯t sure if I should bother him. It felt as if he was already deep in thoughts with his own issue. Perhaps I should just go back to my room and ask tomorrow.


    I started turning around, but I felt the wood beneath my feet creak underneath my weight. Lionheart turned in my direction and noticed me immediately. He walked hurriedly in my direction. He put down the lantern and picked me up.


    -Did you have a nightmare?-


    He asked me with a worried expression.


    I didn¡¯t know what to answer.


    Suddenly I didn¡¯t feel like lying anymore. Maybe that would make him sad.


    I shook my head.


    -You couldn¡¯t sleep?-


    I looked up at his face surprised.


    -Yes.-


    He smiled sympathetically.


    -Me neither.-


    He couldn¡¯t sleep either? So it¡¯s normal?


    He came up to me tucked me in his arms. He started walking toward the office, but stopped midway and stared at the closed doors of the portrait room. After some hesitation. He faced the doors proper and opened them.


    He sat me down a table in the center of the room and took out matches from the drawer. He slowly made his way around the room, lighting up one lantern at a time until the whole room was illuminated by soft yellow light. He put down his own lantern on the table, picked me up once more and walked toward the portrait at the center of the room.


    The portrait depicted a rugged man with short red hair and deep blue eyes.


    -This is¡­ ?ln Ashbrook. He is the count of Clotop. A once renown warrior, one of his majesty¡¯s most loyal servants and the wisest man I know¡­-


    He took a deep breath.


    -...He¡¯s also my father.-


    Lionheart¡¯s father. I could see the resemblance. Strong jaw, intense look, yet softness in their eyes.


    Lionheart walked to the next portrait.


    -This is ?r Ashbrook. The most patient woman to have graced this world. She was not only a talented diplomat, but also an artisan whose skills with the brush were sought throughout the kingdom. She was also my mother.-


    Was.


    The woman had wine red hair and golden eyes. Her expression was calm and loving.


    This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.


    I felt a tinge in my heart. So Lionheart¡¯s mom died¡­


    He continued walking telling me about the different portraits and their family relations. Some were ¡®are¡¯ and others were ¡®was¡¯. Each time, there was a ¡®was¡¯, I could see the sorrow deepen in his face.


    He then reached his own portrait.


    -This is Mrshl Ashbrook. I don¡¯t have anything good to say about him right now unfortunately.-


    Without any more comments he continued to the next portrait.


    I had seen it before with Mili.


    The woman had long silver hair and eyes her face seemed especially happy. It stood out from the other portraits which had more dignified expressions.


    -This is¡­-


    He stopped signing for a moment to clear his throat.


    -This is ??c Ashbrook. She was the kindest, happiest, most beautiful woman I had ever met. When she entered a room, it was as though a kindling had just appeared. Her smile was radiant, her laughter healing¡­-


    He looked down at me with a sad smile.


    -...She loved everyone. Especially children. If she had met you¡­-


    He stopped signing again and quickly wiped the corner of his eye.


    I could tell how difficult it was for him to tell me all of this.


    -...She would have adored you! She would have been the best mother¡­ The best mother this world has ever seen¡­-


    He took a deep breath and continued.


    -She was my wife. She died last winter. She was pregnant with our first child.-


    When I heard this, I felt a pit dig itself in my stomach.


    Guilt overwhelmed me. I remembered the first time I had seen the portrait with Mili. The jealousy that had taken me over and the relief I had felt when I learned she wasn¡¯t here anymore.


    -I¡¯m sorry¡­-


    I signed, the guilt gnawing at me.


    He continued, probably thinking I was giving him my condolences.


    -Don¡¯t be. I know they are looking over me. Over us. And that they love us very much.-


    Did they, though? Does that make sense? Maybe they hate me for taking their place.


    I could feel my eyes becoming prickly, but did my best to not let it show. He then continued moving past the portrait to an empty spot. He slowly sat down on the floor.


    -And this is where your portrait will go.-


    He helped me turn around and face him.


    -Silika. I¡¯m sorry. What I¡¯m about to ask you is difficult. And I understand if you don¡¯t want to but¡­-


    No dad, please don¡¯t be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about.


    I put my hand on his and smiled as much as I could manage. I could feel my lower lips shaking, but his hands stopped trembling and he continued.


    -Silika. I told you about my dad. About my mom. About my whole family, my wife and daughter. I don¡¯t want these things to only be mine anymore. You¡¯re my daughter now and nothing will change that, but I would like my family to become your family as well.-


    He stood up again and started walking around the room while looking at the paintings.


    -I want my father to become your grand-father. I want my mother to become your grand-mother. I want my cousins and uncle to become your uncles and great uncles¡­-


    He stopped again in front of the portrait of the silver-haired woman.


    -I want ??c to become your mother¡­-


    I felt¡­ Strange. My mind was full of thoughts yet none of them seemed to make sense.


    I looked at the portrait. Her name was ??c.


    [Li¡­ Li¡­ Ca¡­]


    Yes, like me my name. Just without the ¡®Si¡¯.


    I looked at her. Her eyes. Her smile. She looked¡­ Nice. Warm. Kind. Somehow, I could tell form the portrait that dad was probably not exaggerating  when he was praising her earlier. You could feel her joy through the painting.


    Yet she¡¯s gone.


    Another pang of guilt. I reflexively rubbed my chest. I felt like my body was about to burst, but I kept looking at her.


    -Can you put me down?-


    Lionheart nodded and let me stand on my own. I approached the painting. It was high on the wall, so i had to stretch my neck to see her.


    I turned back toward Lionheart.


    -I was bad.-


    I declared  as I felt tears pooling in my eyes.


    Lionheart looked disconcerted. He tried to approach me, but I stopped him with a sign of the hand.


    -I was jealous. I think Lilica¡¯s prettier. I think she¡¯s nicer. I think she¡¯s better¡­ So I was jealous. I¡¯m still jealous. I wanted dad just to myself without thinking about who dad likes and who likes dad. I wanted to have you all to myself.-


    I looked at the portrait again.


    Why did she suddenly look so nice. Why did I feel like the portrait would come to life and pick me up and hold me in her warm arms? Why was I imagining this?


    -People shouldn¡¯t be nice to bad people. It hurts them. You always get hurt when you like bad people.-


    It made me angry¡­ And that made me angrier since I didn¡¯t want to be angry! I wanted to be sorry!


    -And it¡¯s not the only time I¡¯ve been bad. Actually, I¡¯ve been bad a lot. I always cry. I always make trouble for Mili and Stash. I complain about everything¡­-


    The tears were dripping from my eyes, but I didn¡¯t want to cry! When you do something bad you shouldn¡¯t cry, it¡¯s the others who should be crying because you¡¯ve been bad!


    I roughly wiped my face with my sleeve.


    -I was bad before as well! At the orphanage, I got into fights a lot. I was mean to other kids and always bothered Jade because I was bored. I broke things all the time and complained about the food and¨C and always made Hare worry!-


    I slammed my fist against my thigh in frustration.


    Why am I so much trouble? Why am I so annoying? Why are people nice to me? I don¡¯t deserve people being nice!


    -And¨C And before that! I was bad! I was very very bad!-


    I pointed at my ear.


    -I can¡¯t hear things because I was bad! I wanted attention! I wanted people to praise me! So I climbed really high and broke my ears! I was bad! I hurt me and then I hurt everyone! And then I was punished! And I deserved it because I¡¯m a bad girl!-


    The tears became too much. I had to stop so I could dry them up, but they just wouldn¡¯t stop. Why am I always crying? I don¡¯t want to cry!


    I looked up at Lionheart, tears making his face blurry.


    -Why do you want a bad girl to be part of you family?-


    Lionheart went on his knees and came closer to me.


    -Because I¡¯ve been bad as well.-


    His face, were stained in tears, but he wasn¡¯t hiding it.


    -I was a bad dad to Silika. I was distant. I didn¡¯t take care of you well. I was selfish. I didn¡¯t think about things well and you got hurt. And before I met you I was bad too. I didn¡¯t work. I didn¡¯t write to my own dad and I didn¡¯t take care of the house.-


    He said while motioning toward the hallway.


    I was reminded of the first time I was visiting the house with Mili. The first time I saw Lilica¡¯s portrait and became jealous. The house was dirty. There was dust everywhere. The main hall was messy and uncared for¡­


    -I was also a bad person before that. I was a coward. I didn¡¯t take care of Lilica. I was scared of her father and could never confront him. I was bad to her¡­ And she died because of me. If I¡­-


    I hugged him tightly so his hands would stop.


    I didn¡¯t want him to say anything more. I didn¡¯t want him to badtalk my dad even if it was himself. I held him as hard as I could for as long as I could. I could feel him trembling slightly as I did.


    When I finally released my grip, his tears had mostly dried up as opposed to mine. He looked up to me.


    -So if we¡¯ve both been bad. Is it okay to become family? Become better together?-


    He asked again.


    Unable to do anything else, I nodded through my tears and it was his turn to hug me.


    After I had calmed down, I left the room in Lionheart¡¯s arms.


    -Lets get you to bed, it¡¯s getting late.-


    -...Don¡¯t wanna¡­-


    I signed weakly, still tearfully.


    -What do you mean ¡®don¡¯t wanna¡¯?-


    -I want to sleep with dad tonight.-


    I answered as I held on to his chest.


    He hesitated for a moment and mumbled something to himself before turning back to me.


    -Only for tonight.-


    He said with a calm smile.


    -Okay¡­-


    I wanted more, but I already said I would try being better.


    He took the stairs down and went down the long corridor. He opened the door to his room that had since been cleaned and put in order.


    He tucked Darkie and I underneath the sheets before laying down beside me.


    It was nice. My bedroom always felt empty, so I had always dreamed of sleeping in the same bed, but he had always slept at his desk or sitting on the sofa even while I was recovering from my cold.


    How did he do that anyway? It had to be uncomfortable¡­ At least tonight he will sleep on the bed so it should be fine.


    -Silika?-


    Lionheart signed in the air just as I was dozing off.


    I turned my head toward him, but he kept staring at the ceiling.


    -Grand-dad is dying.-


    The pit in my stomach dug itself again.


    So this is why he said all this¡­ I inched myself closer to him and snuggled into his chest. As much for me as for him.


    -Is that why the man downstairs came?-


    I asked Lionheart whom nodded.


    -He¡¯s your great-uncle, your grand-mother¡¯s brother.-


    He turned and looked me in the eyes.


    -He came because he didn¡¯t want me to regret not seeing my father one last time before he was gone.-


    His eyes were glassy as he signed those words.


    He felt guilty.


    -Are you leaving?-


    I asked, worried.


    -We¡¯re leaving. The two of us. When grand-dad dies¡­-


    He stopped moving his hands for a moment.


    -...When grand-dad dies, I have to take-over the land. We can¡¯t stay in Evergreen anymore.-


    He explained slowly.


    Leaving Evergreen? But¡­ Everyone I love is in Evergreen.


    -Where will go?-


    I asked, still in shock.


    -In Norland. To the Ashbrook¡¯s family ancestral land; the county of Clotop.-

 51. A conundrum of hate and anger

    -Alright, Silika. Focus. You can''t just want it to move, you have to want it NOT to be there.-


    Jade signed.


    I focused on the small black rock in front of me on the desk as hard as I could, but nothing happened, I let out a sigh.


    -It''s not working.-


    I complained.


    Jade looked perplexed and turned to the bishop for help.


    Mili was also in the room, but she had longed succumbed to the summer heat and was snoozing in the shade of a bookshelf a few tables away.


    The bishop explained something to Jade with a calm expression before motioning to me.


    -It isn''t that the blessing is not working. The blessing will work. The issue is that you think it won''t work. Anger creates misdirection and turns into frustration. You must stay calm if you want to properly direct your hate.-


    After she repeated what the bishop said, Jade thought for a second before continuing.


    -Think of it this way. Imagine the Ferious stone is a boy. If a boy is annoying you, you have to look unhappy, but not get angry. If you have an outburst, or worse, give up, he will just do it again.-


    I looked up at Jade confused.


    -Is that how it works?-


    I didn''t have much experience interacting with boys at all, so it was more confusing than anything.


    She nodded and I looked at the rock again and tooka  deep breath.


    -Ok, no backing down. I stay angry until it moves.-


    The bishop shook his head with a slightly exasperated look. He went on another extended explanation.


    -Not angry, Silika! How many times do we have to tell you?-


    Jade on the other hand looked legitimately annoyed, before continuing, with a calmer expression.


    -Anger comes from frustration. Frustration means that you''re giving up. Pure anger could work, but only those experienced in the way of scorn and in control of their emotions can achieve that. You need to learn how to hate calmly first.-


    Hating calmly? That¡¯s easier said then done¡­


    -Wait, what¡¯s the difference between anger and pure anger?-


    She turned to the Bishop who only said a few words.


    -The confidence to carry it out.-


    She signed dryly.


    I let out a sigh.


    -Why are Scorn¡¯s blessings so complicated?-


    Jade shrugged.


    -All blessings are complicated at first.-


    -Really? Even for you?-


    Jade nodded and took out a dice from her pocket.


    -Here I¡¯ll show you one of my Diid blessings. If I roll this dice¡­-


    She rolled the dice and it landed on 6.


    -It will always fall on one of three sides: 1,3 or 6. That is because mentally, I have, with full certitude, established that 6 means that I rolled successfully, and 1 means I have rolled unsuccessfully.-


    -What about 3?-


    Jade smiled wrily.


    -That¡¯s when Diid wins. He¡¯s capricious so you always need an outcome for him to win.-


    I thought about it for a second.


    -That doesn¡¯t sound so difficult¡­-


    Jade made a knowing grin.


    -Ah but that¡¯s the catch! IF I rolled my dice and it fell on 2 for example, what do you think that would mean? Wouldn¡¯t that be a sort of failure as well? What about 4? 5? If I use the blessing on something else than a dice the possibilities become infinite and, at that point, there would be no point to the blessing. So that means that I must think, with absolute certainty, that falling on 1 means that I failed, otherwise it won¡¯t work.-


    She rolled the dice again and it fell on three.


    Jade made an annoyed expression while I saw a discrete smile draw itself at the corner of the Bishop¡¯s lips.


    She stood up and threw her head up as she seemingly laughed maniacly.


    -What are you doing?-


    I asked her, worrying she had lost her mind.


    Jade turned toward me with an embarrassed expression.


    -Ah, well you see, when Diid wins, you need to do something unexpected, otherwise it¡¯s bad luck and your next blessings will always go wrong.-


    I blinked several times, confused.


    -Is that like¡­ A prayer?-


    -You could say that, but there¡¯s very few Diidkins who enjoy losing to Diid, so it¡¯s not a very good prayer¡­ But that¡¯s how it goes when you follow the teachings of the god of chaos.-


    She shook her head.


    She composed herself and put on her serious expression.


    -Now, lets get back to it! Focus properly this time.-


    The bishop nodded affirmatively. He had been sitting quietly at her side during all this time, but he must have been getting a bit bored just waiting like that.


    I turned my attention to the rock on the table once more.


    I must hate it, but nothing is working. Maybe thinking that I hate it isn¡¯t enough? What about I look at it from another way? Why is it that I hate the cube? Maybe the issue is that I actually kind of like the cube? It does change shape and looks like a useful tool, so maybe hating is existence might not work¡­ Maybe I should focus on something that I hate about it that would make me want to move it?


    That¡¯s it!


    I focused my mind and let my thoughts flow.


    [You ungrateful rock, I keep you nice and by my bedside and you won¡¯t even move for me? Maybe I should just get another rock altogether!]


    I mumbled as I focused all my attention on it, controlling my emotions so as to not get angry.


    After a few seconds of hesitation, the rock finally rolled on itself and moved.


    The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.


    I looked excitedly toward Jade and Feldor who both wore satisfied expressions.


    -You did it! You did it! Great job!-


    Jade signed as she ran up and lifted me off my feet.


    She hugged me so tight I thought I would suffocate. It looked like she was almost more excited about it than I was, somehow.


    The bishop walked up to us and began talking.


    Jade released me. Her expression suddenly a little less enthused but she still translated.


    -You should continue practicing your Ferrous glass manipulation everyday even when on the road. Your current skill is on track to be ready for your communion next year, although your knowledge of the scripture could use some work¡­-


    I gritted my teeth, but still managed to keep smiling.


    Reading is so difficult¡­


    -...The bishop also says he will send word to his colleague in Clotop so he will be able to continue giving you guidance once you get there.-


    I nodded and bowed in thanks to the Kinsmann.


    He gave a fleeting smile, before taking his leaves as the doors closed behind him, Mili woke up in a panic. She looked around and seeing the bishop gone, she started picking up my things.


    -So you¡¯re really leaving?-


    Jade asked me, a nervous expression on her face.


    I nodded.


    It was only two nights ago when Lionheart announced to me that his father was sick.


    At first, I thought it would take some time to prepare, but the very next day, preparations started.


    I spent the day with Mili and an older maid shopping for warm clothes as, as they claimed, a ¡®southern¡¯ girl like me needed something ¡®much warmer¡¯ to survive the winter in Norland. I was a bit confused at first, especially since we were in the middle of summer, but from what I gathered, the cold was more a matter of weather than it was a matter of season the further north you got.


    I didn¡¯t really get it, but needless to say that I spent the whole of yesterday on a tailor¡¯s stool getting all kinds of dresses, coats, hats, mittens and all matter of clothing fitted. I had wished Lionheart had come with me, but from what I gathered, he had many business of his own to take care of before we left.


    That also meant that I had not come to the church today only for my usual classes, but also to inform the Bishop and the wider Scorn order about the situation. Not that there was much of a Scorn order in the church to begin with, otherwise another kinsmann would have been teaching me instead of the Bishop himself.


    Stash had come with us, but had left after talking with the Bishop. From what I gathered, my upcoming ¡®communion¡¯ had been the main topic of discussion. Not my blessing practice. That¡¯s why it had been so important to the bishop that I atleast learned this blessing before leaving today.


    -When?-


    Jade added to her previous question.


    I hesitated.


    -I¡¯m not sure. A few days? Dad said as soon as possible.-


    I signed with a shrug.


    The situation somehow didn¡¯t feel real to me. How could it be? I had only known two places in my life. The estate in Oblon and the city streets of Evergreen. One I hated and the other one I loved. Why would I be leaving the one I love? It doesn¡¯t make much sense at all and yet¡­


    Jade put her chin on my head and hugged me tightly from the back.


    I grasped her slim arm for a second, feeling a bit more relaxed in my trail of thoughts.


    -I¡¯m okay.-


    I signed, thanking her for worrying about me, but she tightened her grip and signed back.


    -I¡¯m not.-


    I felt something warm drip on my forehead. And then another.


    Ah.


    I didn¡¯t¡­ I didn¡¯t think of that.


    I didn¡¯t consider that Jade might actually be sad that I was leaving.


    We had already said goodbye at the orphanage, so this was just a second goodbye to me, but was I looking at things too simply?


    -I¡¯m sorry.-


    I signed, not sure what else to say.


    I felt guilty about not being as sad as she was, but it wasn¡¯t that I wouldn¡¯t miss her. I could already tell that I would miss her terribly, I knew that, but for some reason I couldn¡¯t really believe it.


    -It¡¯s okay, I¡¯ll miss you a lot, Silika.-


    - I will miss you too.-


    I confirmed as i gripped the arms hugging me as if to ground me to reality.


    I¡¯m leaving. I¡¯m actually leaving Evergreen. Not just going to live in another house this time, but half a kingdom away. I felt a ball grow in my stomach as I forced myself to actually accept what was about to happen.


    [So far¡­]


    A shiver ran down my spine and I turned around to bury my face into Jade¡¯s dress.


    How did I not realise it? Why had I thought it would be so simple? That I would still see Jade every so often? When will I see her again? Will I ever see her again?


    -Can you come with me?-


    I asked her, but I already knew the answer.


    She shook her head.


    -No, Silika. I can¡¯t. I belong here, I¡¯m not like you.-


    -You¡¯re lying. We¡¯re the same. You¡¯re like a sister to me.-


    Jade held me by the shoulders reassuringly and bent down so out face were at the same height.


    -I know. You¡¯re like a sister to me too, but I¡¯m different. There¡¯s something I need to do here¡­ While you have something to do there.-


    I shook my head.


    -Can¡¯t you do it with me over there? I¡¯ll help you! I¡¯ll¡­-


    She put a hand on my head and smiled sadly.


    I understood there was nothing I could say that would change her mind.


    -I¡¯ll write to you. As often as I can.-


    I looked up at her.


    -You promise?-


    I asked her to which she nodded.


    -I promise. Will you write to me too?-


    I nodded back.


    -I¡¯ll ask Mili for help.-


    Jade laughed at my comment.


    -It would make me happier if you wrote it on your own, but I guess that¡¯s better than nothing. Make sure to practice writing so you can write on your own as soon as possible, okay?-


    I nodded again and hugged her tightly.


    After that, we slowly made our way out of the library while following Mili who was carrying my things.


    We kept talking all the way, not wanting for this moment to end, but inevitably, we reached the threshold of the church door where a carriage was waiting for me.


    We hugged one last time before I entered the carriage, leaving the chuch and Jade behind.


    My heart felt heavy, but somehow I didn¡¯t cry. I felt certain in my heart that we would see each other sooner rather than later.


    I kept  looking out the window, imagining the road we would take to Norland. I had never been there before. Would I like it? Will it be as cold as everyone says?


    Will I be happy there as well?


    -Are you alright, my lady?-


    Mili asked, noticing that I looked distracted.


    I shook myself from my torpor and smiled at her.


    -I¡¯m alright, Mili¡­ And why are you calling me ¡®my lady¡¯-


    I asked her confused.


    After all she normally addressed me by my name. She looked embarrassed for a moment.


    -I got scolded yesterday by Sir ?l?n for being too casual.-


    She signed hesitantly.


    ?l?n¡­ She must mean Stash.


    That was very in character of him.


    -Don¡¯t mind him, I prefer you keep calling be by my name¡­ And you¡¯re supposed to be my playmate, not a maid, so I¡¯m not even your lady.-


    I commented, a bit annoyed at how stiff Stash could be.


    -Ah, but if the butler sees me doing it again¡­-


    She scratched her messy red hair nervously.


    I guess it¡¯s really bothering her.


    -Then just don¡¯t do it in front of him.-


    I said with a shrug.


    She semed hesitant, but nodded nonetheless.


    For whatever reason, her meak behaviour was bothering me. To be more accurate, it was annoying me. It felt as though she was worrying about stupid things wile here I was on the cusp of leaving my whole life behind¡­


    It wasn¡¯t long before we arrived home and I stepped out of the carriage. Mili quietly guided me through the door into the main hall.


    Immediately, I noticed something odd, in the center of the hall stood someone.


    Not just anyone, but a man. Tall man. As large as a bull and as tall as horse. The same man that had arrived, uninvited, two nights ago, while bringing ill news.


    The man my father had introduced to me as my great-uncle.


    It was the first time, I had seen him since that time and. As we walked closer to him, I noticed just how gigantic he was. He was looking at me intensely, not twitching a single muscle.


    Mili greeted him respectfully with a bow. Although I didn¡¯t really like the man¡¯s presence, I figured there was no point in being rude, especially since he was family, so I curtsied as well.


    I stood straight again and looked up at him, but still he didn¡¯t move. Well, that is, nothing else but  his eyes. They were fixed right on me.


    He looked angry. I started feeling anxious.


    He finally looked at Mili and barked a few words.


    Mili immediately looked confused and surprised. She seemingly tried to say something back, but the man had alrteady gone back to staring at me.


    She looked down at me nervously.


    -Uhm¡­ My lord wishes to have a meal with you, my lady¡­. Alone.-


    I felt the my blood run cold.


    Alone?! With him?!


    He¡¯s not gonna eat me, is he?!


    I looked at Mili, quietly begging her to do something, but it seemed her hands were tied.


    The man turned around and started to walk down the hall toward the dining room. He stopped and looked back at me, waiting.


    I took a deep breath and started following him reluctantly.


    Most distubingly, I almost thought I noticed a smile at the corner of his lips.

 Side Story 3. Colourful Woods (Knights)

    ¡°What do you mean you don¡¯t know the way to Alenia¡¯s Sanctum?!¡±


    I asked the plump man behind the bar.


    He looked me up and down once more with his disgusting eyes. I was trying to ignore it, but his lecherous glances were wearing my patience thin and made my skin crawl.


    For some reason locals were extremely uncooperative, bordering on hostile.


    It was strange really, the people of Sunvale were renown for their calm and chalorous demeanor, but as soon as we mentionned Alenia¡¯s residence, people turned cold as ice.


    Our mission was to deliver a message to the order¡¯s contact deep within the Blossom woods, but the land was overgrown and difficult to navigate for the un-initiated. Which both I and Galvian were, so we had no choice, but to rely on the locals.


    ¡°Look we really need to get there. Our employer needs that fertiliser as soon as possible.¡±


    Galvian pleaded.


    Our cover story was terrible. Fertiliser. That¡¯s what we supposedly wanted.


    Our ¡®master¡¯ allegedly had a very precious flower which was waning and we needed to procure it the ¡®best soil in the kingdom¡¯. Honestly, I think the cover story was also part of our punishment.


    ¡°Look girly, they come down twice a week. Yesterday n¡¯ two days from now. Ye can wait here and get yer fertiliser, or ye can suck on ye shoiny coins and sod off.¡±


    This cover story sucks, this cover story sucks. I repeated mentally to myself.


    From Galvian¡¯s expression, he was just as close as I was to smack some sense into this innkeeper.


    ¡°Aye, wee Philips! What¡¯s da noise about?¡±


    An old man asked as he entered the otherwise empty inn.


    ¡°Nothin'' Ol¡¯ Maes. Just some big city wig trynna git in da woods.¡±


    The Innkeeper gumbled reluctantly.


    ¡°Aye? Why¡¯s that?¡±


    The old man continued as he slowly walked toward the counter.


    Seeing an opportunity to speak to someone sensible, I cut in.


    ¡°We need some high quality fertiliser. Urgently. Our master is the owner of a rare plant and wishes to save it at all cost.¡±


    The old man tilted his head curiously.


    ¡°A rare flower ye say? What flower?¡±


    He asked.


    ¡°A S¨Cs¨C...¡±


    I felt my cheek turn red instantly as I tried to say the name.


    This was so humiliating.


    ¡°A S¨C?¡±


    He insisted.


    Come on Hersia, you¡¯re an adult! You can say these things!


    I took a deep breath and let it out.


    ¡°A S¨C Saria¡¯s tear...¡±


    As soon as the words came out of my mouth I could hear the innkeeper and Galvian repress laughter.


    ¡°Randy sod, ye master, ain¡¯ he?¡±


    The old man said with an amused smile.


    ¡°I¨C I will make no comments¡­¡±


    Saria¡¯s tears. One of the goddess of matrimony¡¯s miracle¡­ Or so they say. It is a plant known for its impressive properties and is especially sought after by nervous newlywed couples. It is said to be especially useful for those who suffered in poor bedding performance.


    In other words, Saria¡¯s tears is one of the world most, powerful, effective, renown and expensive aphrodisiac.


    My cheeks turned bright red as Galvian and the innkeeper exploded into laughter. I wasn¡¯t sure if they were laughing at what I said, or at me.


    ¡°Settle down, settle down. Children these days I swear.¡±


    The old man said while waving in their direction.


    ¡°The lord¡¯s shoddy performance ain¡¯ the girl¡¯s business¡­ Well even if it is, ¡®tis none of mine.¡±


    He continued jokingly.


    The other two only roared louder while I could only stare at the floor awkwardly.


    Maybe I should give up this whole knight business after all. Get married, settle down on some land somewhere, have a dozen kids. Anything other than this humiliation.


    ¡°Alright, alright..!¡±


    The old man said again, waving at the air while the two men tried to calm their laughters..


    ¡°Enough jerking about¡­¡±


    He added maliciously.


    Galvian chuckled again, but one swift elbow in the guts on my part silenced him and sent the right message to the rest of the room.


    I looked back at the old man.


    What is his game here, I wondered? Yet he didn¡¯t look back at me and simply spoke.


    ¡°Aight, enough roundabout. Yungones, I¡¯ll be your guide.¡±


    ¡°R¨CReally???¡±


    Galvian managed to ask between labored breaths.


    ¡°Ye can¡¯t be serious, Ol¡¯ Maes! Ye¡­¡±


    ¡°I would be forever grateful for your assistance, sir. When can we depart?¡±


    The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    I quickly cut the innkeepers'' complaints short.


    This was the first of these villagers willing to guide us, and I wasn¡¯t about to let this opportunity slip.


    ¡°Hahaha! Yungones! So full¡¯o life! Aye, we can go now!¡±


    He declared before turning toward the door.


    ¡°Nay nay nay! Ye not going nowhere!¡±


    The innkeeper yelled before turning to me just as we were about to follow ¡®Ol¡¯Maes¡¯.


    ¡°Forgive me, but this a mistake. Ye can¡¯t go with Ol¡¯Maes!¡±


    I sneered.


    ¡°And why¡¯s that? Because he¡¯s the only person in this forsaken hole willing to help a pair of travelers?¡±


    He shook his hands.


    ¡°Nay nay! Ye can¡¯t go cos Ol¡¯Maes¡­¡±


    Suddenly a loud thump was heard at the door.


    I turned around just in time to witness Galvian catching the old man after he had ran head first into the doorframe.


    ¡°...Is completely blind¡­¡±


    ¡°Ha! Ha! Ha! Silly me, forget where door was! Ha! Ha! Aight yungones, let¡¯s go stretch our legs!¡±


    I could only grunt in response as I begrudgingly followed the old man out of the inn followed by Galvian.


    The old man somehow managed to lead us toward the forest and we started down one of the dozen beaten path through the thick and colourful forest.


    The day wore on and the amount of seemingly random turns we took through these confusingly thick woods became more frequent and erratic.


    ¡°Are you A B S O L U T E L Y sure, this is the correct direction?¡±


    Galvian asked for the enieth time.


    ¡°Ai. Yungones these days, got no patience!¡±


    The old man responded with a mocking tone.


    ¡°Then humor me, old timer¡­¡±


    I begun asking between two laborious breath.


    ¡°How exactly are we supposed to trust your direction if you¡¯re as blind as a bat?¡±


    I stopped walking for a second and wiped the sweat that had accumulated on my brow.


    The old man, probably having noticed the lack of huffing and puffing, also stopped in his tracks and faced us. He lifted a finger and tapped it on his nose.


    ¡°It¡¯s the smell.¡±


    He said as a smile drew itself on his lips.


    ¡°The smell?¡±


    I asked again, having a hard time believing him.


    ¡°That¡¯s right. The smell. In the wider lands, Alenia may be known as the goddess of harvest to most, but to us who have grown at her doorstep, we know her under a different name: the goddess of fragance¡­ But I¡¯m sure your master woulda told you as much.¡±


    He said in an amused tone


    I grit my teeth.


    Is he playing with me?


    ¡°So you¡¯re telling me you¡¯re ¡®smelling¡¯ the way to Alenia¡¯s sanctum¡­?¡±


    The man started laughing hysterically at my question.


    Galvian and I both looked at him disapprovingly. The summer heat making us increasingly unreceptive to the man¡¯s humorous nature.


    Really, what¡¯s his game? Why bother guiding us through the forest in the first place? I was starting to regret my hasty decision to follow a blind man through a forest just to spite an innkeeper¡­


    Perhaps there was something more to learn from this? A pattern of impulsive behaviours leading to less than optimal results, maybe?


    The old man continued laughing for a moment before finally catching his breath.


    ¡°Nay, nay, yungones! I ain¡¯t smelling a place! None can do that! Nay, I¡¯m smelling for them.¡±


    ¡°Them?¡±


    Galvian asked nervously.


    Oh Alenia, forgive my impudence, but I suddenly don¡¯t wish to see your sanctum anymore.


    I gripped the sword hidden under the thick coat wrapped around my waist.


    ¡°Hahaha! That¡¯s right! Oh they¡¯re getting closer as well, shouldn¡¯t be long now.¡±


    The old man declared before continuing to walk, but we didn¡¯t move an inch.


    The smell.


    The ¡®fragance¡¯.


    We could smell it now. Tentalizing at first, but then menacing as it grew. Like the sound of a thousand hooves in the distance growing louder and closer every second.


    Galvian drew his sword first, but I didn¡¯t have time to look back toward him before I noticed something move in front of me. I drew my sword and parried an almost imperceptible strike in the same motion.


    It took me a moment to even register what had just happened.


    To my eyes, everything had looked normal in this humid forest trail, but now I could see them. The trees, they were moving. A long branched flew in my direction and with a swift strike, I was able to cut it with the edge of my blade right before it made contact. I tried, to reposition my feet, but my movement felt restrained, I looked down and noticed the grass was sticking to my boot. I hastily kicked them away and backed out into the dirt road.


    ¡°Hersia! This is baaaad!¡±


    I heard Galvian say with a trembling voice.


    I heard his sword make swift and low movement, probably striking at the grass.


    It was. It was bad.


    These were definitely Alenia¡¯s blessings, and we were right in the center of the thickest forest on this side of the continent.


    ¡°Mae¨C¡±


    I tried to call out to the old man, but he had disappeared.


    ¡°That old¡­ If we make it out of here, I will turn his hide into boots!¡±


    I swore, but quickly took a deep breath.


    Calm down Hersia, we need to take control.


    ¡°Meiriem, Meiriem, oh Meiriem, Meiriem.¡±


    I whispered, as I took in a deep breath.


    I decided to focus on the smell. It was the same smell as Lake Alenia¡¯s water. A pleasant smell, reminding me of my childhood and my family. When all this is settled perhaps I¡¯ll visit them? That would be nice.


    My head now clear, I turned to my partner.


    ¡°Galvian, lets stay calm and focus.¡±


    Immediately as the words left my lips, I felt the tension leave my temples. My vision became clearer. The sound of the forest, quieter. Now, I could see everything clearly.


    ¡°Graced be thy name Meiriem.¡±


    I thanked the gods of love for their blessing.


    I could hear Galvian¡¯s breathing steadying behind me as he backed up until our shoulders were mere inches away.


    Nothing was moving for the moment, but my now sharp ears noticed the sound of feet among the trees surrounding us.


    One set of feet. Two, three, four... Thirteen in total.


    I shook my head.


    We¡¯re completely surrounded.


    I loosened the grip on my sword before sliding it back into its sheath.


    ¡°We surrender!¡±


    I loudly declared as I raised my arms skyward.


    Galvian looked at me hesitantly for a moment, before slowly following my lead.


    Although not as familiar with Meiriem¡¯s blessing as a kin such as myself, he had probably also understood from the sound that the odds were not in our favour.


    After a few moments. The steps grew closer and they emerged from the shadows.


    Long and flat ears emerging from hair the same yellow as wheat covering their skin the colour of fertile ground, there was no questioning it, these were Aleniakins.


    An older woman slowly walked up to me and only stopped when her nose was mere inches from my face. She looked me up and down with her bright green eyes.


    ¡°It good ta see da despite yer lack o¡¯ manner, yare na stupid, kin.¡±


    She said while a sarcastic and unamused smile drew itself on her lips.


    ¡°What ya got ta say fo¡¯ yer self, sword hound?¡±


    She nearly spat in my face.


    Think, think Hersia¡­


    Ha!


    ¡°M¨C My master lives in a blue Morrow manor.¡±


    I said in a shaky voice.


    She looked at me incredulously.


    ¡°Ah?¡±


    Damn, maybe I didn¡¯t say it right?


    ¡°My. Master. Lives. In a blue. Morrow. Manor.¡±


    I slowly said, but it only seemed to annoy her further.


    ¡°And wha¡¯ do I care about yer cursed¨C¡±


    ¡°Oh, I kno¡¯ yer master!¡±


    A woman stepped into the conversation.


    ¡°He da one with da blue nose, roight?¡±


    She continued.


    That¡¯s her. Our contact.


    ¡°T¨CThat¡¯s right! We¡¯re here for uhm¡­ His uh¡­ Fertiliser and such!¡±


    I responded nervously, hoping my tone wouldn¡¯t betray me.


    ¡°Well, why ye didna say so! Come on, kin. Lets get yee a cup¡¯a tea. We got much ta talk about.¡±


    She said before grabbing me by the arm and dragging me away from the confused eyes of her fellow Aleniakins.


    Behind me I could only hear the awkward ¡®sorry¡¯ of Galvian as he made his way through the Aleniakins toward us as I was dragged further into the forest by our new friend.

 52. Message in an echo (Part 1)

    I felt a shiver run down my spine as the man extended his hand toward the wine cup in front of him.


    I was sitting right next to him. I had tried sitting as far as possible, but it had only served to earn me some intense looks until I was almost forced to sit next to him.


    I sneaked a glance in his direction. Luckiily, it seemed like his attention had momentarily switched to the plate in front of him. I was able to breath for a moment.


    His presence was overwhelming, let alone his attention. The man was bigger than anyone I had ever met before. At first Lionheart had been the tallest person I had ever met, but not only did this man easily dwarf him, he was also twice his width. His shoulders could easily sit a family of four, yet he didn¡¯t look fat. He was built like an ox and the scar that traced around his brow down to his cheek told the tale of hard fought battles.


    A sudden burst of curiosity wanted to ask him about it.


    About the battles, the knights, their swords and their mighty steeds¡­ But then I would need to get his attention and the mere idea was making my palm sweaty.


    I looked down at my plate, probably as per this man¡¯s request, we had been served large steaks with a side of beans and sprouts. Although I had taken a liking to meat, I always struggled with steak. Too tough and difficult to chew. I picked up the oversized knife at the side of the plate and pressing my hardest, I tried to saw through the thick piece of brown meat with little success. I only managed to make it slide up and down my plate. I tried to stabilise my grip by using my fork, but with no success.


    Suddenly, the plate was snatched away from me. In a panic, I tried to take a hold of it, but it was already out of reach, the man had taken it away from me.


    He immediately brought down his knife and fork to it. Was he going to eat my food?! Just like that? But his plate wasn¡¯t even finished¡­


    To my surprise, he did not eat the piece he cut into. Instead, he cut another. And another. He continued cutting the steak in long and smooth motion until there was only a series of neat square pieces left on the plate. He then slid it back to me while staring intently.


    Had he¡­ Cut it for me?


    Why? Why didn¡¯t he just ask a maid or at least let Mili be here and do it for me? For that matter, we couldn¡¯t even speak without either her or Stash present¡­ He hadn¡¯t even allowed any servant to stay in the room any longer than the time necessary to place our food on the table.


    Hesitantly, I took a bite from my plate, and was pleasantly surprised with how easy to chew the pieces were. Usually, even when cut into slices I would struggle to chew on these type of steaks. On some unfortunate occasion, I had even had to spit out especially difficult pieces that just wouldn¡¯t go down, but none of that this time. I looked up curious and watched him methodically cut his own food and eat.


    Seeing his hands work, if I didn¡¯t know any better, I would believe he¡¯s a cook or perhaps what they call a ¡®butcher¡¯. A meat cook of sort from what Jade had explained to me once.


    Looking at him now, he really gave off that sort of aura. Cooks were often big and fat, but on the other hand, the man was muscular, and tougher. Like meat.


    Ok, I¡¯ll call him Cook¡­ Uncle Cook. Since, like Lionheart explained, he¡¯s my family as well now.


    -Thanks, Uncle Cook.-


    I signed.


    The man must have noticed my hands from the corner of his eye because he almost immediately choked on his food while turning toward me with a strange expression. He continued coughing for several minutes and I started worrying whether he was going to be alright or not, but after downing a few glasses of red liquid he seemed to regain his composure.


    He cleared his throat once more before turning his body toward me and doing a spinning motion with his fingers while pointing at my hands.


    Did he want me to repeat?


    -Thank you, Uncle Cook.-


    I signed while tilting my head, not sure if that¡¯s what it meant.


    His eyes seemed to grow wide before his cheeks raised themselves almost imperceptibly so.


    He tried to say something but seemingly caught himself.


    -Uncle.-


    He signed a singular word before touching his chest.


    As though claiming the name for himself.


    I nodded affirmatively.


    -Yes, uncle.-


    He nodded, before pointing to me.


    Uh? What did that mean?


    -Me?-


    I asked to which he nodded.


    Did he perhaps want me to introduce myself?


    -I¡¯m Sil¨C -


    He interrupted me by raising his hand. He shook his head and then pointed at his mouth while speaking.


    Did he¡­


    -But I can¡¯t talk¡­-


    I protested, but he didn¡¯t budge and looked at me expectantly. Still intimidated by him, I didn¡¯t try to protest anymore.


    [S¨C Silika. I¡¯m S¨CSilika.]


    I felt shy. I hadn¡¯t really tried to talk to someone using my voice seriously in a long time.


    I did sometimes talk to Darkie, but it was different, he always understood me even if I didn¡¯t finish my sentences.


    The man nodded but then motioned for me to say it again.


    [Silika.]


    He pointed at his mouth and seemed to be slowly repeating my name while emphasizing every syllable.


    I frowned confused and simply said my name again but he shook his head.


    He once more began repeating my name but froze on his bare teeth.


    This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author''s consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.


    [Sili¡­]


    He stopped me again. He insistently only traced the first syllable on his lips.


    [Si.]


    I tried saying, he nodded but again pointed at his closed teeth.


    [Si!]


    I repeated again.


    His eyes narrowed for a second before pointing at his face again. He opened his mouth wide and pointed at his curled tongue pressing against his teeth. He then closed his mouth and made the motion of him saying it again.


    [Sss¨Ci!]


    I tried my best to mimic the strange tongue position he had done and repeated the line.


    It had felt awkward, but he nodded approvingly. After that, he had me repeat it several times.


    We continued practising my name like that for a long while. So long that our meal was finished and replaced by tea and eventually snacks.


    [Ssi¨C Leeee¨C kah!]


    I declared after a long time.


    The man stood from his seat, surprised, I sat back, not sure what was going on. Wordlessly, he walked up to me and picked me up from under the armpits. He raised me so high I could almost touch the ceiling. As he stared at me intently, something strange appeared on his face. Was that¡­ A smile?


    I saw his lips draw my name once more! Excited I repeated after him.


    [Sii¨Cleee¨Ckah!]


    I felt myself move and before I could understand what was going on, I noticed I was flying through the air.


    Wait what?! Oh, Scorn! Oh, Scorn! I¡¯m gonna fall!


    Just as I started feeling myself fall back down toward the ground, I was caught.


    Still disoriented and not sure what just happened, I looked toward my uncle who was now once again holding me at the end of his thick arms. I looked at his smiling face dumbly and I felt a laugh escape my lips. I don¡¯t know what happened or why he did it, but it was fun!


    He nodded as if to ask me permission for something. Still not sure, but somehow excited, I nodded. I saw him slowly lowering me before launching me into the air. I saw him grow smaller and then bigger again. When he caught me again, I couldn¡¯t stop laughing and he threw me up and down over and over again.


    Somehow, this was so much fun!


    After a while he stopped throwing me into the air and squeezed me so hard I thought my head would pop. As he did, he suddenly stiffened, he slowly lowered me down and once more sat me on the seat. The excitement of it all finally caught up to me, and my laughter slowly receded as I caught my breath. I turned around toward where uncle was staring and was surprised to find dad with an amused look on his face.


    [Dad!]


    I exclaimed before getting up from my seat and running toward him, my earlier exhaustion now forgotten.


    I threw myself in his arms as he held me up.


    As I held unto his neck, he freed his hand while supporting me with his forearm.


    -Having fun with your uncle?-


    He signed before shifting his position to hold me properly again.


    I let go of his neck and signed excitedly.


    -Yeah! He can throw me really high in the sky!-


    I could feel a chuckle coming from his throat.


    -Can he now? What else did you two do?-


    He asked as he walked toward where we had been sitting, pulled himself a chair and sat me on his knees.


    -He helped me say my name!-


    -Your name?-


    I nodded excitedly.


    [Siileekah!]


    I declared proudly.


    I had expected Lionheart to look impressed, but instead, he froze up. He looked behind me at Uncle Cook, then back at me.


    -Can you say it again?-


    I nodded enthusiastically.


    [Siileekah.]


    He smiled and hugged me tightly. I could feel him stroke and kiss my hair as he held me. I did think that would make him happy, but not that much.


    -Do you mind doing something for me?-


    He asked as he released me.


    I tilted my head, curious.


    -Sure, what is it?-


    -let''s go upstairs, I¡¯ll show you.-


    He said a few words to Uncle Cook before standing up, still carrying me in his arms, and heading out the dining room where this one remained.


    We went all the way up to Lionheart¡¯s office. He sat me down on the sofa while he took something large wrapped in hides from a cupboard.


    He placed it down on his desk and slowly removed the packaging revealing a large ceramic bird, but it felt vaguely familiar.


    -It looks like Sparrow!-


    Lionheart smiled.


    -That¡¯s right, this is also a seeking bird, but a little different from your toy.-


    He said before finishing to remove the different ropes holding the seeking bird in place.


    -Different how?-


    I asked, curious.


    -Well, for one, it¡¯s much bigger and sturdier. As you can see, its frame is coated in Nv?s enamel which makes it completely impervious to weather.-


    -Nv¨C -


    I tried to sign back to him. Unfamiliar with the name.


    He nodded.


    -Nv?s, the god of wi¡­ of fermentation. His name is pronounced a bit like ¡®never is¡¯. Nevaris is the god that gave us things like cheese, yoghurt, pickles¡­ Anything that needs to be aged but not go bad. Nevaris enamel was one of his miracles which granted a material that facilitated fermentation.-


    -Nevaris¡­Fermentation¡­ Ok.-


    I signed back to confirm I was listening.


    I was still vague on the concept of fermentation, but I wasn¡¯t really interested anyway.


    -So as I was saying, this seeking bird is bigger and stronger, but it¡¯s also smarter. It can travel long distances and can even change its destination if the recipient isn¡¯t home. But its most impressive and valuable feature is that this little guy here¡­-


    He stopped signing to turn it toward me.


    -...Can repeat entire sentences.-


    I looked at him confused.


    -Your bird can talk? Sparrow never talks to me.-


    Lionheart chuckled a bit awkwardly before explaining.


    -Well actually, most seeking birds can talk¡­ A little bit at least. Even Sparrow can repeat one word back to people¡­-


    -Wait, so Sparrow CAN talk?!-


    Lionheart nodded.


    -Absolutely. He always talks when you tell him something and make him fly. You just¡­ Well, you couldn¡¯t hear him, so I didn¡¯t tell you. I¡¯m sorry.-


    He explained apologetically.


    -It¡¯s okay.-


    I answered.


    Suddenly I felt a bit bad. I had not played much with Sparrow since, as opposed to Darkie and other toys, I could never imagine it do anything else, but make bird noises¡­ I¡¯m sorry Sparrow, I¡¯ll talk lots to you from now on!


    -...But on to our friend here! This seeking bird doesn¡¯t only repeat a single word, it will repeat whole sentences and letters worth of words. Not only that, but it will sound just like the person saying it!-


    From his face, I guess this is something very exciting, but being used to not hearing anything at all, I didn¡¯t feel any way in particular about this revelation. I still smiled since he seemed happy, but I wasn¡¯t really sure why he was telling me all this.


    He turned to the seeking bird and slowly traced his hand along the smooth enamel wings.


    -I want to send a message to my father¡­ Your grand-father. I want to tell him we¡¯ll be by his side soon.-


    After signing this, his demeanour changed.


    As though something heavy had just been placed on his shoulders, he reminded me of the day I met him. Sad, tired, broken. I had almost allowed myself to forget the reason why we were going to Norland in the first place¡­ Here I was worried about leaving Evergreen while Lionheart¡¯s father was dying. How would I feel if I knew he was about to die? What sort of anguish would I feel in his place? How selfish.


    I shook myself from my torpor before I got anymore caught up in my own thoughts and focused on dad.


    -So what do you want to say in your message?-


    I asked him, which seem to temporarily distract him from his worries long enough for him to also focus his attention.


    -Nothing much really. It has been so much time since I last wrote to him. Let alone spoke, but I figured it would make him feel happy to hear from me in case¡­ Well, I just thought it might make him feel better. Even if just a little bit.-


    He smiled and came to pick me up and sat me at his desk chair.

 53. Message in an echo (Part 2)

    Lionheart began explaining as he raised the bird¡¯s head to be at his height.


    -I¡¯ll say a few words first. I¡¯ll let you know when it¡¯s your tu¡­-


    -But I only know how to say my name!-


    I interrupted him.


    Wasn¡¯t it strange to only say your name in a message? Wouldn¡¯t it come out as rude?


    -That¡¯s plenty, don¡¯t worry. I¡¯m sure it will make him happy.-


    Without another word, he turned to the seeking bird.


    This one slowly moved its neck to face Lionheart who began speaking to it. I obviously couldn¡¯t hear any of it, but I could see his expressions as he talked.


    At first, he looked serious, almost austere, but after a few moments, his face switched to an apologetic expression. Almost sad. He spoke much longer wearing that expression before seemingly forcing himself to brighten up. He began gesticulating and I could see his lips move faster. This continued for quite a while, I don¡¯t know what he was saying, but he was passionate. Usually, I would probably have started snoozing from just staring like this for so long, but somehow I found myself transfixed with the way he spoke.


    It was like watching the singers at the theatre the other day. The opera singer had been very boring, but between her and the mummers, there had been a pretty purple-haired woman in a long flowy yellow dress who had sang a quiet song.


    I had been fascinated at the time, not by the singing obviously, but by the way, her lips danced. It wasn¡¯t like when people spoke. There was a rhythm and smoothness to it. Like a dance.


    It got me thinking; what song do I know? I used to know a lot of songs, but the more I tried to recall the words, the more I realised I forgot. I used to have a favourite song though. ¡®A Fey spring¡¯ it was called.


    It has been more than a year since the last time I heard it though¡­ I can only recall the chorus. It went something like this:


    ¡®She said to me, my red lady;


    A prick from a stick;


    Is as a droplet from a bucket;


    We can cry, but it would be wise;


    To simply laugh and move along with your craft.¡¯


    I never really understood the whole story in the song, but it never failed to cheer me up.


    As I was lost in thoughts, I didn¡¯t notice right away when dad started looking at him. He wasn¡¯t talking anymore and simply looking at me patiently with a smile on his face.


    -It¡¯s your turn, Silika.-


    He signed softly.


    I nodded and straightened my posture. I took a deep breath and went through my earlier exercise in my head. It¡¯s not that I had forgotten, but I would feel very bad if I somehow messed it up now.


    [S¨C Siileekah.]


    Dad patted my head proudly.


    -You can say it again if you want.-


    He suggested.


    Again? Did that mean I said it alright?


    I nodded and cleared my throat.


    [Siileekah!]


    Lionheart nodded satisfied. He said a few more words to the seeking bird before touching its back and closing his eyes.


    A moment later it spreads its wings wide open, surprising me.


    I didn¡¯t really realise how big it was when just standing here, but its wingspan was larger than the desk. It was a miracle that it had not knocked anything over.


    Lionheart walked to the windows and opened them wide. The bird did not hesitate. As soon as they were wide enough, it jumped from the desk and hurled itself through the window. Excitedly I ran after it and watched as it flew toward the bright blue sky.


    -How long will it take for it to reach grandfather?-


    I asked, still watching the now shrinking bird on the horizon.


    -It should only take two or three days at most. Compared to us, he doesn¡¯t need to rest and can fly over mountains and rivers.-


    I nodded as I watched the white shape disappear in the distance.


    -You were singing, you know?-


    Lionheart commented, an amused expression on his face.


    -What?! Really?-


    I was singing? Did I start making noise without realising again? Oh, this is so embarrassing.


    Lionheart nodded.


    -Well more like humming. Quite well, all things considered. I even recognised the song, I think. I¡¯m sure grand-dad will be very happy to hear all of it.-


    He continued with a smile.


    -He will hear it?! How? I thought the bird only repeated words!-


    Lionheart shook his head.


    -Nope! It listens to every noise.-


    I felt my cheeks turn red.


    -This is embarrassing. It can¡¯t have been very good.-


    -It was very nice, don¡¯t worry.-


    I looked out the window again, worried.


    -Do you really think grandfather will be happy about me? He won¡¯t hate me?-


    I asked as I turned to Lionheart, suddenly worried.


    -I¡¯m sure he will. There are no grandparents who aren¡¯t happy about meeting their grandchild.-


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    -Really? I never met mine though¡­-


    I replied, doubtful of his word.


    My understanding of ¡®family ties¡¯ had always been limited to my immediate family. The concept of a grandfather being anything more than a person worthy of respect was a foreign concept to me.


    -Is that so?-


    He responded inquisitively to my assertion to which I nodded.


    -That woman¡¯s dad lived very far, and that man¡¯s parents were already gone when I was born, but my sister told me¡­-


    ¡°YOUR sister?¡±


    I heard a voice roar behind my back.


    Surprised, I turned around toward the voice that had called me out.


    ¡°I don¡¯t remember being sister with such an ugly pink rat!¡±


    The voice was foreign, but the face was unmistakable. It was Ela, the shape was blurry, but her hair and her prickly lips were unmistakable.


    [W-What are¡­!]


    ¡°You¡¯re sad you never met grandfather? Ha!¡±


    I grit my teeth through her mockery. It felt¡­ Bad¡­ A burning sensation spread through my skin. It was itchy. So itchy.


    ¡°He wouldn¡¯t have liked you anyway.¡±


    She continued, her eyes upturned in a spiteful expression.


    She was lazily looking me up and down her eyes never meeting mine as though she was observing an especially unappealing object.


    The itching got worse. It was the stains and scars the crop had left on my skin. I wanted to scratch every one of these marks. Scratch them until they bleed and disappear forever.


    ¡°Boohoohoo my name is Silika! I¡¯m a baby who always whines! I make mom and dad mad and then I wonder why I¡¯m in TIME-OUT!¡±


    She said as she got closer to me.


    [Shut up!]


    I screamed at her.


    She knows nothing, she doesn''t know anything!


    ¡°Is that what you think? That I hit you because I didn¡¯t ¡®know¡¯? Ha! No. I hit you because I wanted to. Because I hated you. I still hate you. If I had a stick right now¡­ Yeah, you¡¯re the worst thing that has ever happened to me, to Knox, to Dalton, to mom and dad...¡±


    I felt my blood boil, but she only grinned as she turned her head to my side.


    ¡°...And look at that! You found yourself a new victim! I can¡¯t wait to see how long it last before he starts hating you as well. He¡¯ll kick you out and you¡¯ll come crawling back.¡±


    She looked back at me and with her indexes pulled a forced smile on her lips.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be so happy to see you again since I¡¯ll finally be able to finish what we started back then!¡±


    Tears streaming down my face I rushed toward her and pushed as hard as I could.


    [Shut up!]


    She laughed at me.


    ¡°What¡¯s that? You¡¯re already running away from your ¡®new dad¡¯? Like you ran away from us? You¡¯re pathetic.¡±


    I raised my fist and brought it down as hard as I could against her side.


    [Shut¡­]


    I brought back my other hand and punched her straight in the stomach.


    [...Up!]


    She laughed.


    I hit her again.


    [YOU¡¯RE bad!]


    And again.


    [I hate you!]


    I gripped the side of her skirt and kicked her shin with my bare foot.


    [I hate all of you!]


    I kicked her over and over..


    [I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!]


    I kicked, punched and screamed so much that I became out of breath.


    My legs gave out and I fell to my knees. I tried to stand up again, but could barely muster the strength to talk anymore.


    [I¨C I hate¡­]


    Through the pain in my chest and my legs, I raised my head to say it to her face one more time, but she was gone.


    She probably had never been there in the first place.


    On the other hand, someone else was standing there.


    Lionheart. Dad.


    Realising what I had just done, tears started flooding my eyes.


    [I¨C I¡¯m sorry! I¨C I didn¡¯t mean to¡­]


    Wordlessly, he bent down and picked me up and held me in a tight embrace.


    Not knowing what else to do, I let my warm tears stain the white of his shirt as he slowly rocked me from side to side until I started feeling better.


    Dad continued to hold me all day. Reassuring me that he understood and that he still loved me, but I continued feeling terribly guilty.


    The next few days went by quickly and the memories of my outburst subsided.


    Before I knew it, the day came for our departure and my belongings were all packed up and strapped to a coach.


    The front of the manor was very busy. Many servants would be departing as well as the Ashbrook garrison which would be following us on our journey.


    As Lionheart had explained to me, our family had a long-standing history of military exploits and by that fact, had many vassal knights, some of which had been stationed with him in Evergreen in case the kingdom was called to war.


    This was also the reason why Mili was currently squeezing me so hard, I was beginning to think my arms would pop out of their sockets before she released me. I continued to pat her back until she finally let me breathe.


    Snot hanging from her nose, she signed to me.


    -I¡¯m so sorry, Silika! I¡¯ll be right behind you guys. It¡¯s just that¡­-


    -I know, I know. It¡¯s okay Mili, your dad is still on patrol. He¡¯ll be back soon I¡¯m sure and anyway, we¡¯ll see each other when we arrive in Clotop!-


    She nodded strongly as she wiped her tears. I hadn¡¯t realised how attached to me she had become in our time together, but seeing her like this made me feel warm inside. I twas nice to know that I had a friend in her.


    Stash at her side scolded her lightly, probably because she called me by my name again, before turning toward me.


    -I wish you a safe journey, my lady.-


    He signed with his usual smile.


    -You¡¯re really not coming with us?-


    I asked again, hoping that somehow the answer would change.


    -I¡¯m afraid not, my lady. I am bound to this residence like an oyster to its shell, but worry not, my colleague at the Clotop estate will be more than able to serve you adequately.-


    He stated before concluding with a bow.


    Lionheart walked up to us and put his hand on my head. He spoke to the two of them for a few moments before turning to me.


    -All set?-


    I nodded before waving at Stash and Mili one last time.


    Dad took me by the hand and we headed for our carriage.


    He helped me to my seat and arranged some pillows for me to lay back on. It would be a long journey, so comfortable clothes were primordial. That was also why I was dressed in a large and loose cotton dress that could double as a blanket if I became sleepy.


    -Nervous?-


    Lionheart asked as he sat at my side.


    I shrugged.


    -I don¡¯t really remember my last trip all that well¡­ But I did go somewhere better.-


    Lionheart nodded, not pressing the subject.


    -Well, let us hope this trip leads to a similar result.-


    It was only a few minutes later when I felt the carriage moving. I looked out the window watching all the other carriages in front and behind us as well as mounted knights on either side of our small convoy


    I thought back on all the friends I had made here, the things I had learned and the things I had experienced.


    A strange feeling grew in my chest. It wasn¡¯t sadness, happiness, anger or anxiety. It was something else. A feeling of regrets for what I was leaving behind, but excitement for what was to come.

 53.5 Interlude

    Chapter 54 Preview


    Warm and humid air washed over me as I shifted my heavy leather boots through the dry grass. Almost instinctively, I closed my eyes and inhaled as much as my lungs would allow. The waft of steam smelled odd. Slightly metallic with a faint hint of egg.


    The cold wind blew the warmth away and my face once more felt its bitting sting. I held my breath a moment longer before releasing the air from my lungs and opening my eyes to witness the smoke escape from my mouth. Lionheart had told me it wasn¡¯t smoke coming from my mouth but hot air, but I liked to imagine I was actually breathing fire.


    I let my gaze slowly lower itself and in front of me, I witnessed a large fuming lake. Its surface made difficult to distinguish from all the mist hanging over it, creating all sorts of coloured rainbows in the sharp morning sun.


    It¡¯s called a hot spring. One of many in the Lowland region we were now travelling, but while most were little more than a fuming puddle, this one was large enough to fit a boat in. Several actually. From what Lionheart explained, the water came from deep beneath the ground where it was heated so hot it came bubbling up like the water through a kettle whistle.


    I walked as close to the side of the water as I could without falling in. I bent down and touched the water and I retracted my hand reflexively. It was hot. Like an especially warm bath.


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    I had asked Lionheart if we could swim in these hot springs. He had explained that we could, but that doing so out here in the wild might be dangerous. After all, who knew what was underneath the surface?


    I looked beyond the boiling waters toward the horizon, large mountains spread through uneven grounds. I remember dad calling it the ¡®steppes¡¯ when the landscape had first changed, but it didn¡¯t really mean much to me. It did somehow remind me of the rolling hills of Oblon, but rougher. Wilder. Untamed. That made me feel at ease. As though this place had yet to be tainted¡­ Although from the ruins that cluttered these lands, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that whatever might have tainted this place is now long gone.


    I felt something being placed on my shoulders. Surprised, I turned around. My eyes lit up when I recognised Lionheart¡¯s smiling face.


    -Are you cold?-


    He asked, I suddenly realised that the weight I had felt on my shoulder was a heavy blanket. Now warmer than ever, I shook my head as he placed a hand on my shoulder and looked toward the hot springs.


    It was relaxing. Even more so with my father at my side.


    I took a deep breath again before exhaling for several seconds. I almost wish this moment would never end.


    Lionheart tapped my shoulder again and I turned to him.


    -Let¡¯s head back.-


    I looked toward the hill beyond which our caravan had stopped for the night before looking back at the smoky waters.


    -Just one more minute.-


    I asked him pleadingly to which he simply answered with a nod, before leaving me to admire the springs a bit longer while he headed back to the camp.

 54. The No Mans Land of Lowland

    Warm and humid air washed over me as I shifted my heavy leather boots through the dry grass. Almost instinctively, I closed my eyes and inhaled as much as my lungs would allow. The waft of steam smelled odd. Slightly metallic with a faint hint of egg.


    The cold wind blew the warmth away and my face once more felt its bitting sting. I held my breath a moment longer before releasing the air from my lungs and opening my eyes to witness the smoke escape from my mouth. Lionheart had told me it wasn¡¯t smoke coming from my mouth but hot air, but I liked to imagine I was actually breathing fire.


    I let my gaze slowly lower itself and in front of me, I witnessed a large fuming lake. Its surface made difficult to distinguish from all the mist hanging over it, creating all sorts of coloured rainbows in the sharp morning sun.


    It¡¯s called a hot spring. One of many in the Lowland region we were now travelling, but while most were little more than a fuming puddle, this one was large enough to fit a boat in. Several actually. From what Lionheart explained, the water came from deep beneath the ground where it was heated so hot it came bubbling up like the water through a kettle whistle.


    I walked as close to the side of the water as I could without falling in. I bent down and touched the water and I retracted my hand reflexively. It was hot. Like an especially warm bath.


    I had asked Lionheart if we could swim in these hot springs. He had explained that we could, but that doing so out here in the wild might be dangerous. After all, who knew what was underneath the surface?


    I looked beyond the boiling waters toward the horizon, large mountains spread through uneven grounds. I remember dad calling it the ¡®steppes¡¯ when the landscape had first changed, but it didn¡¯t really mean much to me. It did somehow remind me of the rolling hills of Oblon, but rougher. Wilder. Untamed. That made me feel at ease. As though this place had yet to be tainted¡­ Although from the ruins that cluttered these lands, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that whatever might have tainted this place is now long gone.


    I felt something being placed on my shoulders. Surprised, I turned around. My eyes lit up when I recognised Lionheart¡¯s smiling face.


    -Are you cold?-


    He asked, I suddenly realised that the weight I had felt on my shoulder was a heavy blanket. Now warmer than ever, I shook my head as he placed a hand on my shoulder and looked toward the hot springs.


    It was relaxing. Even more so with my father at my side.


    I took a deep breath again before exhaling for several seconds. I almost wish this moment would never end.


    Lionheart tapped my shoulder again and I turned to him.


    -Let¡¯s head back.-


    I looked toward the hill beyond which our caravan had stopped for the night before looking back at the smoky waters.


    -Just one more minute.-


    I asked him pleadingly to which he simply answered with a nod, before leaving me to admire the springs a bit longer while he headed back to the camp.


    There was still a long way to Clotop, but so far the trip had been nothing short of pleasant. It was a bit exhausting to stay cooped up in a carriage all day, but every so often I would be allowed to climb on someone¡¯s horse or even sit with the coach driver.


    Dad had been very worried that I might be something called ¡®motion sick¡¯, but whatever it was, I didn¡¯t catch any kind of illness other than being a little bored sometimes


    I turned heels and started heading to the camp, but looked back once more toward the waters. I caught one more whiff of the warm air, before heading into the cold tall grasses.


    During my short walk, it seems the people had almost finished packing back the tents and were busying themselves with readying the horses.


    Dad was busy talking to uncle so I walked over to the large campfire where a maid was pouring the last of the morning gruel into pots so they may be reheated for lunch. Seeing me approach, her eyes lit up and she quickly produced a bowl and poured me a generous portion and produced a pear from a basket.


    I gladly accepted the food, sat down on a bench and ate my breakfast quietly. After a few weeks on the road, I had gotten used to this routine. The food on journeys wasn¡¯t anything to write home about. Mornings were either eggs or gruel, lunch was either leftover or dried produce while dinner was often stew, dried meat or fish.


    I finished my meal and handed the bowl back to the maid. I headed back where Lionheart was just wrapping up a discussion with two men in studded leather armour. After they were done, he turned to me.


    -All set?-


    He asked me.


    I nodded and he led me by the hand to the carriage. He was about to pick me up to get inside, but I glared at him.


    I had asked him to stop carrying me around while on the trip since I noticed some of the people chuckling when Lionheart was picking me up. Also, an increasing amount of the people who talked to me through Lionheart seemed to be referring to me as a ¡®princess¡¯.


    Although I did like the idea of being a princess like in the stories, it made me feel very embarrassed to be called that way for some reason¡­Dad tells me it¡¯s supposed to be a compliment, but I don¡¯t think I look like a princess at all with my short hair, so it feels wrong.


    I finally managed to pull myself onto my seat and dad draped a blanket over our knees. Another man entered the carriage after us and sat across from our seat.


    I recognised him as one of the Ashbrook¡¯s garrison lieutenant. He was pretty young by ranking knight standards. Younger than dad, by several years, but he was still allowed to ride with us sometimes so he must be respected enough.


    He smiled kindly in my direction, which I returned politely. He exchanged a few words with Lionheart before tucking himself into the corner of the carriage and closing his eyes.


    He must have had guard duty last night.


    Lionheart gently wrapped his arm around my shoulder as the carriage departed to stop me from losing my balance and falling forward, which had embarrassingly happened more than once in our journey so far.


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    It was still early in the morning, so we stayed quiet for a time and I even fell asleep momentarily while being rocked side to side by the carriage.


    When I woke up again from my short morning nap, the sun had risen up in the sky and it became comfortable enough to remove the heavy blanket from my shoulders.


    I looked at my side and noticed Lionheart was busy reading a heavy book. Not wanting to bother him, I went toward the window of the carriage and looked outside. We were passing a small valley shaped as though a large axe had cleaved it in two. On the other side of the valley, I noticed yet another ruined building. This time, I could almost recognise the shape of a castle.


    I turned back and walked to dad.


    -Say¨C -


    I began signing and waited for Lionheart to turn to me.


    He slowly finished reading his passage, placed a bookmark and turned to me with a patient smile.


    - ¨CWhy are there so many old abandoned buildings around here?-


    I finally asked, gripping Darkie expectantly.


    Lionheart crossed his arms and looked pensive as he stared at the ceiling for a moment before nodding and looking back down toward me.


    -Well there is not a single answer to that question. All these places have their own history, but if I was to give you a general answer, it would be that this region has been a No Man¡¯s Land countless times over the centuries.-


    He started explaining, but I frowned.


    -What¡¯s a no man¡¯s land?-


    He nodded understandingly.


    -It means land that doesn''t belong to anyone. Lowland was the site of countless conflicts with the Heillhs Empire and the Seeir Theocracy. Both these kingdom as well as Firsland have claims on the territory which is often used as an ?ct of wr¡­-


    -What¡¯s an ?ct of wr-


    I interrupted.


    He had spelt out the word in letters instead of signs for some reason.


    He nodded understandingly.


    -Good question, it stands for Act of War 1. It means a reason to go to war with another country.-


    -You need a reason to go to war?-


    -Absolutely! Otherwise it would be an illegal war.-


    I squinted at him.


    -Why would a war be legal or illegal? Is there like¡­ A war garrison that arrests people who go to war illegally?-


    He rubbed his chin and looked pensive for a moment.


    -Well not quite. It¡¯s more that people will not approve of the war. No one likes a crazed war monger, even in the Heillhs Empire. In the worst case, someone attacking another territory without just cause might see themselves stripped of their title, excommunicated and probably executed as an example.-


    I gulped.


    I still didn¡¯t really get it, but it seemed that there really was such a thing as an illegal war.


    -But what does that have to do with Lowland and the ruins?-


    I asked him, realising we had strayed from the topic at hand.


    -Everything really. You see, Lowland is at the corner of three powerful nations. There is a saying that goes, ¡®Those who hold Lowland, hold the continent¡¯. If any of the three countries wish to gain territory into the two others, they need to take Lowland first or risk a counter-invasion. And so they do. Often. The last time it happened was just 10 years ago at the beginning of the Heillhs Empire¡¯s ¡°Khaln Campaign¡±, but we reclaimed it in only three years later.-


    -We?-


    I asked curiously.


    -That¡¯s right.-


    He nodded.


    -I led the Ashbrook garrison for three years during the campaign. I also participated in the assault of the Khaln fortress after which the campaign became known for.-


    My eyes grew wide at the discovery.


    -I didn¡¯t know you were a knight!-


    Lionheart chuckled.


    -Well not a knight per say. Knights are soldiers who have sworn fealty to a member of the upper nobility, like this lieutenant in front of me.-


    He signed while motioning to the man still snoozing across from us.


    -All nobles are, in theory, soldiers as well. It is their responsibility to protect their land. So they are addressed by their title.-


    My mind felt like it was spinning from all the information. Every noble is a soldier?


    -So you¡¯re¡­ Like a strong knight..?-


    Dad put a hand on my head and ruffled my hair.


    -You could say that, yes.-


    I nodded and looked out the window once more to stare at the ruins.


    -So every single one of these ruins was somewhere a battle took place.-


    I stated, but he looked hesitant to agree.


    -Well not always. Unfortunately, non-military structures such as farms or watch towers get destroyed by stray blessings as well.-


    -Blessings? Is there blessings strong enough to destroy entire buildings?-


    Lionheart nodded.


    -Absolutely. See the valley? That¡¯s the result of a Steihnner blessing.-


    I felt like something enormous had just been revealed to me. Amazing. Here I thought most blessings could only do small things like rolling dice on numbers and making rocks move.


    -Can you do that?-


    I asked dad excitedly.


    -Do what?-


    He asked confused.


    I pointed to the valley, but he shook his head.


    -No. Only cl?cs and pl?ns have that much power in their blessings.-


    Again strange words¡­


    -What¡¯s a cl?cs and pl?ns?-


    -They are warrior kinsmanns who have both mastered the way of their gods as well as the swords. They are terrifying foes on the battlefield. Although those who are powerful enough to create valleys such as this are one in a thousand¡­ And there are very few cl?cs and pl?ns to begin with.-


    I nodded and looked out the window again.


    Cl?cs and pl?ns. It must be pronounced something like clrics and paladins. I would like to meet one someday, they sound very interesting¡­ But also a bit scary.


    Suddenly, the carriage came to an abrupt stop throwing me forward. I was only barely caught by Lionheart before hitting the floor.


    He screamed something to the lieutenant who had just been woken up from his nap. Without a moment of hesitation, this one stormed out of the carriage toward the front of the caravan.


    I tried to look outside, but dad stopped me and forced me to sit down on the hard floor of the carriage. I wanted to protest, but seeing his expression, this was not the place nor the time


    What is going on? Why did we stop? Why are they both panicking?.


    The lieutenant came back through the door and said something to dad who nodded gravely. He stepped off the carriage only to turn to me briefly


    -Stay here.-


    Not knowing what else to do, I nodded and watched the door close behind him.


    Author note:


    1. An ¡°Act of War¡± in this case is used in the same way as the latin term ¡°Casus Belli¡±

 55. Highwayman

    ¡°Stay by the carriage, no one gets in there without my say-so.¡±


    I barked at lieutenant Levish.


    ¡°As you order, my lord!¡±


    The young knight responded before drawing his sword and placing his back to the carriage. He would be the last line of defence for Silika if things went south.


    I could hear the commotion growing louder as I made my way to the front of the carriage. Although the commotion was not born of idle talks, but instead of the sound of swords and spears being drawn as well as the muffled scream of servants.


    There were no sounds of battle yet, but it didn¡¯t augur well.


    I reached the front of the caravan and immediately understood the commotion.


    A lone figure stood at the centre of the road draped in a long hooded cloak¡­ And from its fold, 3 arms could be seen.


    ¡°Either an injured kin or¡­¡±


    ¡°A Feral.¡±


    A voice interrupted my trail of thoughts.


    My uncle appeared cross-armed.


    ¡°Elaborate, Lord Marlot.¡±


    ¡°Sharp claws. Disgusting heretic, he makes me sick just looking at it.¡±


    I squinted and traced my eyes down to the figure¡¯s hands. Marlot was right, the thing had claws growing straight from its fingers.


    I put my hand on the pommel of my sword and slowly retrieved it from its sheath.


    This will get ugly quickly, I have to do something.


    I started walking toward the creature. I needed to act like a leader more more than ever. Most people, including myself, never imagined encountering a feral in their lifespan. The mere idea might be more than many of them can handle.


    I need to do something I need¡­


    The thing let out a low and guttural roar. I dug my heel in the ground and began immediately muttering to myself.


    ¡°Oh Steinnher, lest I forget¡­¡±


    As I did the creature ripped off its cloak revealing it¡¯s thin yet muscular body. Two arms protruded from his left side while only one and a stump still wrapped in blood stained bandages on its right. Its face was barely human. The usual horn of Steihnnerkins protruded from the forehead, but they were misshapen, curling on themselves like screws, while its face was covered in hideous horns and scaly growths.  The eyes were the size of buttons and completely blue while the tip of its ears did not close instead spreading apart into two elongated tips. its entire body was disproportionate, with the chest being much too wide and the legs seemingly permanently bent at an angle and too short. But the feral looked strong. Terrifyingly so.


    I did not have much time to observe before the creature jumped and brought its two fists to the ground, making the ground beneath our feet quiver unnaturally.


    With no hesitation, the feral took off into a sprint in our direction, heading just to my left where many of the unarmed onlookers had been standing.


    With no time to think I took a deep breath and stood tall.


    ¡°YOU!¡±


    I roared at the top of my lungs while pointing in its direction.


    Thankfully the blessing took hold and the feral was forced to stop right in its tracks.


    Two arrows immediately hit it, but as per the blessing nature, they simply stopped short of its skin..


    It turned to me enraged.


    ¡°I will be your opponent!¡±


    I declared loudly.


    What I was currently using was one of Steihnner¡¯s most common, yet important blessing.


    The honorable duel.


    It allowed a person to request an unconditional one-on-one duel from another. Of course it had its limitation, but it prevented the two duelist to be interfered with¡­ As well as interfering with those around them.


    This was now a critical moment: the creature could decide to refuse the duel.


    I could see its disgusting eyes considering its option.


    A moment ago, it had the effect of surprise on its side, but now, several archers were aiming their bows at it. I could not retract my holy duel request, and allow the archer to takes its life, so I could only wait for it to either come toward me, or decisively turn away.


    ¡°ALRIGHT! I¡¯LL KILL YOU FIRST THEN!¡±


    It declared in a hoarse voice, confirming making the blessed contract.


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    It started rushing in my direction.


    Seeing an opportunity, I rose my sword, ready to strike, but I quickly realise my mistake when it pulled back one of its clawed hand. I dodged as it swiped upward nearly clipping my nose.


    I quickly stepped to the side and tried to strike its side, but it simply used another one of its hands to deflect the blow. In the same movement he dug its hand into the ground which immediately split. The crack moved so fast that it reached my foot before I could shift my weight and my leg sank up to my knee.


    It struck me with both its left arms, lacerating my left shoulder and ripping off the shoulder guard that had held my traveling cloak in place.


    I winced in pain but the injury had bought me an opportunity and I brought down my sword leaving a long streak across its back.


    Suddenly I heard a commotion and screams coming from behind me while my uncle began barking orders.


    More of them?!


    I pulled out my foot from the hole and was about to rush to their help, but was interrupted.


    ¡°WE¡¯RE NOT DONE YET!¡±


    I heard the feral scream behind me.


    I tuned just in time for me to dodge a vicious kick aimed at my chest..


    It escaped my mind that a feral wouldn¡¯t give up so easily.


    The duel blessing also allowed one to admit defeat, at which point a rightful Steihnner believer would spare their opponent¡¯s life and make them a prisoner of war, but this wouldn¡¯t apply to a feral. A feral would never be taken prisoner and it knew it.


    Unfortunately for it though, the feral was on its last leg. Panting loudly and barely keeping its eyes open. I almost felt guilty to keep the fight going, but this was not time for emotions. Especially not while my people were getting attacked.


    I pulled back my sword, dug my heel into the ground while facing the feral, brought my weight back and pushed myself forward as hard as I could.


    ¡°I beseech your hammer¡¯s weight, o¡¯ supreme lord of war¡±


    I prayed as I focused my attention to my sword.


    I pushed my weapon forward and without the opportunity to parry, the feral was empaled.


    I could see the momentary confusion in its face. As though it couldn¡¯t register what had just happened. It tried to raise its claws, but I simply pushed them aside with the back of my hand. I pulled back my sword pulling the poor creature toward me in an awkward embrace.


    I lowered it to the ground, closed my eyes and gave a short prayer.


    ¡°May Solomon¡¯s embrace allow for your soul find peace in the immaterium, lost kin of Steihnner.¡±


    By the time, I reopened my eyes, life had departed the feral¡¯s body.


    Remembering the earlier commotion, I turned around and was relieved to see my uncle walking calmly in my direction.


    I stood up and greeted him as a warrior should.


    ¡°Well fought.¡±


    I declared, extending my hand


    He grasped my forearm.


    ¡°Well fought.¡±


    He turned his attention to the corpse at my side.


    ¡°They ambushed us from behind, this one must have been a lure to keep us distracted.¡±


    He began to explain as he released my arm and bent on his knee to observe the creature.


    ¡°How many?¡±


    He shook his head, almost disapprovingly.


    ¡°A dozen or so. Most of them weakened, starved and deformed. I don¡¯t think they were planning to fight head-on, but some servants caught them digging through our rations.¡±


    I nodded while looking at the creature.


    I bent down as well, and examined the feral¡¯s  bandaged stump.


    Curious I unwrapped it uncovering a necrotic injury, oozing liquid in all colours of the rainbow. The dead tissues were running down the length of its arm up to its neck.


    The feral had been dying, if my sword hadn¡¯t struck its heart, it would have stopped beating on its own in a matter of weeks¡­ A month at most. That must be why it was chosen as a lure.


    ¡°Any casualty?¡±


    I asked him to which he nodded gravely.


    ¡°We don¡¯t have a count yet, but at least 6. Two soldiers and four staff.¡±


    I grit my teeth, although the loss were sour, considering we were up against a dozen feral, this was, unfortunately probably one of the better outcomes we could have hoped for.


    Many a caravan have been completely wiped out by just one of them¡­


    Which, now that i thought about it, was quite odd. The feral was strong, but not much stronger than a knight. If I hadn¡¯t taken the precaution of provoking a duel, this one would probably have been defeated without any casualty¡­


    While I was pondering, Marlot lifted what was left of the creature¡¯s rag skirt, took a glance and let out a click of the tongue before turning to me.


    ¡°Look.¡±


    Confused, I looked up the unfortunate creature¡¯s leg. I searched the strange darkness for a moment until my eyes settled on its groin area. To my complete dismay, what I saw was completely unrecognisable.


    ¡°What in the name of¡­¡±


    ¡°A mule.¡±


    Marlot quickly cut in.


    I felt a ball drop in my stomach. A mule. In other words, a feral¡¯s unholy bastard.


    He let out a long sigh as he rubbed his temples.


    ¡°At least it¡¯s not a mating pair.¡±


    I nodded in agreement.


    It meant that there only was one real heretic behind all this, not a dozen as I had believed at first.


    It also explained why they were so weak.


    From what I had learned in books, mules were often short lived due to their corrupted physiology. They would be lucky to make it to twenty years of age. Although they were also known to age rather rapidly, often on par with animals.


    It made me sick to think that there were people out there cruel enough to treat their children as such, but those who forsake the gods and misuse their blessings are rarely the type to care about anything other than themselves in the first place.


    ¡°We¡¯ll have to  make a stop at Jilbeck¡¯s Crossing. They must be warned.¡±


    I said out loud.


    My uncle nodded and extended his hand to help me back to my feet which I gladly accepted.


    Just as I was wiping the dirt from my pants, someone came running toward us.


    It was Lieutenant Levish.


    I felt my heart sink. IF he was here, where was Silika?


    The young knight was bloodied and battered. I rushed toward him and grabbed him by the shoulders.


    ¡°Silika! Is Silika alright?!¡±


    He winced weakly as I gripped him. Marlot put a hand on my shoulder.


    Only then I noticed the nasty gash on his arm. I released him and instead simply put a hand on his other shoulder.


    ¡°Lieutenant. Is my daughter alright?¡±


    He looked at me confused. As though he had just woken up from a nap.


    ¡°It.. It happened so  fast¡­¡±


    He said as he tried to catch his breath.


    ¡°Lieutenant! Focus!¡±


    I barked.


    His eyes stopped spinning and he straightened up at my call.


    ¡°She¡­ She ran, my lord! She ran away when they attacked!¡±

 56. The Chase

    ¡°Run, Silika! You have to keep running!¡±


    [I know! I know! Keep running! Keep running!]


    I repeated to myself.


    It all had happened so fast.


    It had been quiet in the carriage at first, but while I was sitting on the floor waiting for whatever was going on to be sorted out, the door on the opposite side of carriage had suddenly opened and I had locked eyes with a monster. With red skin, four arms and horns protruding from its face, I had wanted to scream, but my throat had remained stubbornly closed.


    At first, it had just watched me intently, as though considering how best it could eat me, but then a second monster had appeared at the door. It spoke two words to the other before its lips parted in a most terrifying smile. It slowly stepped onto the carriage and inched forward toward me.


    I immediately started screaming.


    It tried to reach for my face with its long clawed fingers, but I pulled back, sending the other door of the carriage flying open. I started crawling back away on the hard ground as the enraged monster rushed forward to grab me, but just as it was about to get a hold of my heel, the clawed hand was sent flying.


    It took me a moment to register what was going on and notice the sword now where the hand at once been. At the other extremity, holding it,  was the knight from earlier. He looked at me for a moment, a relieved expression on his face. He turned back to the screaming monster and lobbed its head off with a single smooth motion of the sword.


    I was shocked for a moment before a lump came up my throat as I immediately threw up the entire content of my stomach.


    What did I just see..? Did he¡­ Did he just¡­ Kill it..?


    I had never seen anything like it before.


    Still shocked, I  felt frozen in place. The knight started walking back toward me, but did not notice the other monster behind him. An expression of pure rage drew itself on its face.


    I need to tell the knight. I need to tell him.


    I tried to lift my hand and point but it was trembling too much. I couldn¡¯t even release the tuff of grass stuck in my palm. The knight walked toward me as he sheathed his sword. The creature slowly emerged from the shadow of the carriage raising its claw to strike at him.


    No no no no no no no!


    The knight took me by the arm and slowly lifted me back to my feet as my eyes were still locked with the creatures barely a few feet behind him.


    I need to do something. now!


    With enormous strength I managed to lift my arm and point at it and with shaky lips I forced sounds out of my throat.


    [T¨C Th¨C There!!!]


    I finally screamed just in time for the knight to turn around and spot the monster. He pushed me backward and tried to pull his blade form his scabbard, but the monster was too quick and slashed him across the chest.


    I stumbled backward, my eyes locked on the two of them.


    Did he¡­


    ¡°Silika!¡±


    Did the lieutenant just¡­


    ¡°Silika!¡±


    Realising Darkie was talking to me, I looked down at its small shape underneath my arm.


    ¡°Silika! Run!¡±


    Just as he said that the creature looked up from the knight and toward me. The stiffness in my legs released me and my heart started beating incredibly fast.


    I ran.


    I ran as quickly as my legs would allow through the rocky hills.


    I glanced back and saw it chasing after me through the tall grass. There was only a small distance between us. One wrong step and I would be done for.


    The monster¡¯s legs were short and its arms bulky so it was having a hard time keeping up, but it didn¡¯t look tired.


    I tried to lose him, but no matter how many time I ducked behind rocks and ran through tall grasses it kept finding me.


    It felt like he had been chasing me for an eternity, I was running out of breath, but as I rounded a large boulder, a spec of hopes appeared in the horizon.


    One of the many ruins that dotted the landscape was within reach. I don¡¯t know what I expected to find there, but its castle shape alone spoke safety to my mind.


    I began running up the short hill to the collapsed gate, not even bothering to look back, knowing very well that the monster was hot on my tail.


    I crossed the threshold into courtyard. The walls were crumbling, but still kept most of their shapel. I ran up the broken steps and went along the length of the wall that led toward the husk of a keep.


    As I crossed a arched doorway, I  glanced back momentarily, just in time to see him run up the stairs up the rampart.


    I ran down a hallway, the building was roofless, and many of the floors had long caved-in, but there were still many somewhat functional rooms and hallways.


    After climbing up some stairs, I took the time to catch my breath, I couldn¡¯t keep running like this. I needed to do something.


    I looked down from my second floor perch and was surprised to see the monster roam the lower floors. Luckily, it seemed to have lost sight of me temporarily, but now what?


    I didn¡¯t have the confidence or energy to try to make a run for it anymore¡­


    As I considered my option, I backed out from view and leaned against a wall when something sharp stung my back. Surprised, I turned around, but there was nothing there. I patted my back and found the culprit. I had completely forgotten, but inside my belt I still had my ferrous stone¡­


    I took it out the pouch and observed it for a moment.


    Dad had told me that some people used their blessings to fight, so maybe I could do the same?, But how was I supposed to make use of this? It¡¯s not like I can just throw it at the monster or make it turn into a hole¡­


    I tried to lean against the wall again, but it started giving way under my weight.


    Reflexively, I pulled back before it gave way completely.


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    That was close. A little more and I would have got buried under the rubble¡­


    Wait, could I use that? Maybe I could make the wall fall on the monster and crush it?


    I once more glanced around the corner of the collapsed wall. Right behind it was the hallway where I had come from earlier. If I could somehow make the monster  go through here again, I could crush him under the wall!


    That would work wouldn¡¯t it? But how would I know when he¡¯s passing by? I can¡¯t push the wall and see where he is at the same time¡­


    ¡­The ferrous stone! Yes, maybe I can use it to push the wall for me!


    ¡°But is it strong enough to do it?¡±


    Darkie asked.


    [Mmmh that¡¯s true.]


    I mumbled to myself.


    I had never used the ferrous stone to move anything before. Maybe it¡¯s really weak?


    I looked around and found a lonely brick on the floor. I placed the ferrous stone underneath.


    I crouched down and stared at it for a moment. I had never actually changed its shape without touching it before, but it has to be similar to when I was moving it, right?


    I focused on thestone. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I gathered my thoughts, I need to hate it. I need to want it to take another shape. I nodded to myself and opened my eyes again. I focused on the stone while thinking these thoughts and within a second, the ferrous stone rapidly turned into a long stick, launching the brick across the room through a hole in the brick wall.


    I was thrilled for a second at the result, but suddenly realised that this must have made a lot of noise.


    I hurriedly took the Ferrous stone from the ground and stuffed it between two bricks on the wall.


    I started running back toward the stairs, but hesitated for a moment.


    What if it doesn¡¯t work? What if the wall doesn¡¯t fall fast enough?


    I looked down at Darkie, but he remained quiet.


    What will happen if the wall doesn¡¯t fall? Will I¡­


    [Hey¨C Hey, Darkie?]


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Silika?¡±


    I shook my head.


    [Nothing, nothing¡­ But would you do something for me?]


    ¡°Sure! Anything!¡±


    I extended my hands and placed Darkie on a small alcove looking over the room.


    [Could you¡­ Hum¡­ Wait here for me for a few minutes? Just while I¡¯m gone?]


    ¡°While you¡¯re gone?¡±


    [Yeah, just a few minutes.]


    ¡°Sure, Silika!¡±


    I nodded and looked at him for a few seconds.


    I¡­ I really will be back in a few minutes.


    I could feel myself tearing up, but held it in. I took a deep breath and headed down the stairs.


    I hadn¡¯t seen the monster in a few minutes, and luckily, he was nowhere in sight while I backtracked toward the entrance. I made sure the wall was really facing right above the hallway and was relieved to see that I hadn¡¯t mixed it up.


    I kept walking out of the building until I was back outside on top of the rampart.


    I turned around and faced the doorway.


    This is it.


    I took a deep breath, but the air remained stuck in my throat.


    Should I really go through with my plan? Couldn¡¯t I just run away right now? No looking back?


    No. I¡¯m too tired.


    If he spots me even just once, I don¡¯t think I could outrun him again.


    Bracing myself, I released the air from my lungs in what I hoped was a loud scream¡­ And waited.


    My heart beat wildly in my chest. I couldn¡¯t be sure of anything right now.


    Had I screamed loud enough? Would my plan work? Was this the best course of action?


    All the while, my eyes remained fixed to the corner of the hallway. Every second made agonising by the knowledge that the monster could appear at any moment.


    My eyes felt strained. I wanted to blink so bad, but I feared that I would somehow miss the monster and then it would be over before I could do anything.


    Nervous and impatient I prepared to scream again, but it appeared. From the corner of the wall its ugly horned head emerged and it locked eyes with me.


    My mind went blank for a moment.


    It¡¯s happening, it¡¯s really really happening.


    The monster looked angry and annoyed from chasing me, but luckily it also seemed a bit tired. It observed me for a second, probably expecting me to flee again, but when I didn¡¯t move a smile spread across its lips as it slowly walked towards me.


    I felt my leg trembling. The urge to run was running through my entire body, but I squeezed my fists and bit my lip.


    I need to wait until he reaches the right place, but for some reason he was taking his time. Looking at me with a mocking expression.


    Perhaps thinking I was frozen in fear? Although I am very scared. So much I was starting my teeth would shatter from how much they were trembling.


    Finally he set foot underneath the wall.


    My focus immediately turned to the the stone stuck between the bricks, as I kept an eye on the approaching monster. I imagined its square shaped and imagined shanging into a star, a stick¡­ Any and all shapes.


    But the wall didn¡¯t budge.


    I glanced down and noticed the monster was rapidly approaching. Time was running out.


    As I tried my best not to panic, I brought back my focus to the wall. I imagined the ferrous stone taking all sort of shapes while hating  every aspect, but nothing happened.


    My throat was turning dry. There wasn¡¯t much time left. The monster would reach the archway soon.


    I hate you! I hate you! Change shape! I thought as I tried to focus on my blessing, but I by the the monster who kept advancing, it wouldn¡¯t be long before it would be too late.


    Sweat was building on my brow and my heart felt it was about to blow.


    [CHANGE YOU STUPID ROCK!]


    I finally screamed, but nothing happened.


    My entire body suddenly felt cold. As though a bucket of ice had just been poured over me. I looked down.


    The creature had stepped past the wall and through the door archway.


    I¨C Failed?


    My brain was screaming harder than ever to run, but my legs wouldn¡¯t respond.


    I should run. I knew that, but  my eyes were locked on the monster as it raised its arm either to grab me or strike me.


    Just as the monster was about to strike, I felt a sudden breeze blow over me


    The monster stopped in its track. We were both looking at each other, as though time had stopped. It looked down and I followed its gaze down to its chest, but my vision was obstructed.


    Separating us, floating 3 feet off the ground, was a sphere.


    It was about the size of a fist and made entirerly of copper.There were some sort of writing, but it was partially covered by some kind viscous liquid. Before I could stare at it any longer, the monster collapsed and the ball flew back.


    I suddenly understood what the liquid on the ball had been. A gaping hole was visible in the center of the monster¡¯s chest.


    I felt sick thinking about the amount of blood I had seen today, but I tried to keep my composure, as I looked up toward where the ball had just flown back to. A woman and a man were making their way toward me, she was spindly and dressed in a light leather outfit while he was dressed in some sort of short black robes that covered his face, but my mind was elsewhere.


    Still thinking about the monster¡­ And the wall.


    As they reached me, I saw them try to speak to me, but I simply walked past them.


    I had to know. I had to understand.


    I went down the hallway, turned to the left, I could tell they were following me, but I ignored them. I went back up the stairs and picked up Darkie. I turned to the wall. Still standing, not even slightly tilted, and the ferrous stone still stuck between the bricks where i had left it.


    I put my attention on the ferrous stone again.


    Immediately, the ferrous stone sprung into shape sending the bricks tumbling down violently.


    A strange feeling developed itself in my chest. It wasn¡¯t a feeling as simple as disappointment or frustration. It was stronger and deeper. A realisation that not only I had failed, yet had all the tools necessary to succeed.


    I felt my knees turn weak and fell down.


    Jade¡¯s word sprung to mind:


    ¡°It isn''t that the blessing is not working. The blessing will work. The issue is that you think it won''t work.¡°


    It slowly dawned on me that, if these strangers hadn¡¯t save me, I would have died. It would have ended. No heroic standoffs. No epic fights like the knights in stories. The monsters would have raised its claw and struck me down.


    All because I had been too proud and confident. All because I never bothered to push myself and learn before it was too late.


    I am a complete and utter failure. I didn¡¯t deserve this. I didn¡¯t deserve to be saved yet again. I should have died. I should¡­


    I felt chhocked up. Warm tears starting to drip from my eyes.


    Through all this anger and drustraiton, I still felt relieved and happy.


    That I was safe, that I was able to hold Darkie in my arms and that soon I will be back in my dad¡¯s arms.

 57. The rescue party

    After some time the fear and frustration had subsided enough for me to acknowledge the two strangers still standing in the room, watching over me with confused expressions on their faces.


    The woman had crouched down to my height and tried to talk to me. I felt a ball grow back in my throat. I still felt sensitive. So when she tried to talk to me, it made me feel smaller and even weaker.


    I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes again.


    The woman visibly panicked and turned to the man. Despite having most of his face covered by a large cowl, I could tell from the shape of his mouth that he was just as confused as she was.


    He said something at random and the girl looked incredulous, but still turned to me with an uncertain expression.


    The confusion only made me want to  cry harder.


    After some hesitation, the woman  hid her face behind her hands. Confused I watched on as I tried to wipe my face of tears unsuccessfully.


    After a long moment of waiting, she pulled back her hand, revealing a strange expression. Her tongue pulled out and her eyes crossed.


    I couldn¡¯t help letting out a puff of laughter through my tears. Why did this make me laugh? It was something completely absurd. Maids had done it to me countless times to Dalton when he was a baby, yet I couldn¡¯t stop myself.


    She hid her face again and, this time, when she revealed it, she was biting her upper lips and looking upward making her look like a fish.


    I tried to contain it, but I exploded in laughter, why was I finding this so funny? Maybe I wanted to laugh, to feel reassured somehow?


    She continued doing this until most of my tears had run dry. She ran her hand through my hair and ruffled my short hair roughly.


    She said a few words, but feeling calmer this time, I simply pointed at my ear and shook my head. Hopefully, that would be enough for her to understand.


    She still seemed puzzled and turned to her partner, who slowly approached us and also tried to speak a few words to which I had no choice, but to tilt my head in confusion.


    I felt wary of actually saying anything outloud to make a point. No one ever understood me and it tended to make people angry or disgusted. I would rather just stay quiet.


    While they were wondering what to do next, I noticed the woman suddenly glancing up. In an instant she pulled me toward her and I let out an audible yelp. I was scared that she was trying to hurt me, but when I turned around I noticed broken bricks now laid where I had been a second before.


    ¡°That was close!¡±


    Darkie said from my arms


    [Yeah¡­]


    I felt a shiver run through my spine as I imagined what would have happened if the woman hadn¡¯t pulled me out of the way.


    Not wanting to get crushed by the walls, I looked at the two strangers and urgently pointed toward the exit.


    The woman understood and nodded.


    She stood up from her prone position and, surprisingly, took me by the hand. We went down the stairs, and she started guiding me through the ruins in the opposite direction from the entrance. I wasn¡¯t sure where we were going, but afraid of what would happen otherwise, I didn¡¯t struggle and let myself be pulled along.


    The rest of the ruins slowly devolved into not much more than waist-high walls and piles of bricks. Before I knew it, the remains of the castle were far behind us.


    ¡°I wonder where we¡¯re going¡­¡±


    Darkie suddenly mentioned after a while.


    [Back to the caravan, I guess.]


    I simply replied to him with a mental shrug.


    ¡°Do you really think so?¡±


    I stopped in my tracks, nearly tripping over when the woman kept pulling me along for a moment.


    They both turned to me surprised.


    [What do you mean by that?]


    I quietly asked Darkie in my mind.


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    ¡°Well, I don¡¯t really recognise these people. I don¡¯t think they¡¯re part of the caravan.¡±


    I looked up at the two strangers.


    Darkie was right. These weren¡¯t just strangers. They were completely new people. They weren¡¯t dressed like anyone I had ever seen even, even in passing.


    What if they were bad people? Maybe I should run for it?


    I looked back behind me. All I could see were rolling hills after rolling hills. Not a single familiar landmark or even sign of life. Even if I was to run, would I be able to find my way? I turned to the two strangers who were looking at me with worried expressions.


    They looked like nice people for the most part. Enough to be worried about me and trying to make me laugh. I could feel my heartbeat throbbing in my chest. What should I do?


    ¡°There¡¯s one way to see if they¡¯re good or bad people¡­¡±


    Darkie said hesitantly, but I felt afraid. What if they were really bad people?


    No, Darkie is right. There¡¯s only one way.


    [H-Hello!]


    I said out loud while I squeezed Darkie between my arms.


    They looked at me for a moment, not moving. Almost as if they were afraid I would run away if they did.


    [My name is Silika. Sii-Lee-Kah.]


    I continued.


    They looked at each other, uncertainly. The woman slowly turned her body toward me and crouched down to my height. She slowly pointed toward me before asking something very slowly. I couldn¡¯t tell what she was saying, but I recognised the way she was saying my name at the end, so I nodded.


    [Yes! Siileekah.]


    She smiled and nodded.


    She pulled back her hand and put it against her chest before slowly saying some words, but I shook my head.


    [I¡¯m sorry. I can¡¯t hear you.]


    I bowed my head down apologetically while nervously playing with Darkie¡¯s ear.


    [But I¡¯m a good girl, I swear!]


    I added rapidly as I lifted my head once more.


    I waited nervously as she looked at me hesitantly. She tried to say something again, but I just shook my head while pointing at my ear.


    [I¡¯m really sorry.]


    She smiled sympathetically before extending a hand.


    They¨C Don¡¯t look mad. Or even slightly disgusted.


    I felt a wave of relief wash over me as I grasped the extended hand and continued following the two through the long grasses.


    By the time we arrived at an encampement, the sun had almost set.


    Partway through I had been so tired that the woman had let me piggyback. I had been curious as to why she was the one carrying me instead of the man since he looked much larger than her, but not being able to voice my questions, I had just gone along.


    When we arrived, it seemed they had some friends waiting for them and they happily welcomed them. Many of them carried swords or daggers and wore different sorts of outfits. They didn¡¯t look like soldiers though. I was a bit wary of them since they looked a bit scary, but they all smiled nicely at me.


    The camp was pretty small, with only 5 tents for the seven of them and two horses tied to a hitch some distance away from the campfire. I didn¡¯t see a road, but I thought I noticed a small path heading between two hills.


    The woman let me climb down from her back and led me by the hand toward the crackling fire.


    Although it wasn¡¯t especially cold, the warm fires felt soothing against my cool cheeks.


    The man and woman went to put down their things some distance away, while the rest of their friends joined me around the campfire. One of the men tried to talk to me, but was seemingly interrupted. The woman who had brought me here then came to sit next to me and said something while pointing at the pot above the campfire.


    Another man quickly produced two bowls and poured two piping portions of meat-rich stew. Not having eaten since the morning, I happily started drinking the soup.


    Meanwhile, everyone around the campfire became involved in excited discussions. From their gesticulation and the occasional glance in my direction, I guessed that they must have been recounting their encounter with the monster. I still felt a bit shaken from the encounter, but I tried my best to shrug it off.


    Trying to distract myself, I started looking at the people around the campfire.


    As I had noticed earlier, the people didn¡¯t look what I would usually think as typical.


    The man across from me was half bald. As in, his head was shaved on the left side but was long and luscious on the right. The one next to him was covered in drawings from head to toe. Next to them was a short woman, who wore a bandage across her head and over her nose. On her lip, I could see a ring with a pearl bouncing as she spoke. Then, next to me, were a pair of twins, but they were so similar, that I could barely distinguish them from one another.


    Adding to that, the tall and spindly leather-bound girl and the man in the black robes. It was a very strange group of people, to say the least.


    While I let my eyes wander, I suddenly noticed a single person wasn¡¯t eating from the large pot. The black-robed man was simply sitting there while talking to the others.


    Why wasn¡¯t he eating? He might not be hungry¡­ But did that make sense? We had walked for several hours and the tall woman was happily wolfing down her meal, he should be very hungry.


    I looked around worried and noticed there weren¡¯t any other bowls for him to eat out of. I looked down and realised I must have been eating out of his.


    Suddenly feeling guilty. I got up from my seat and extended the dish toward him. It took him a moment to even realise I was there and even then he only looked at his friends confused before shaking his head at me.


    Was he shy?


    I insistently pointed the bowl at him


    [Eat! You have to eat]


    He shook his hands and an awkward smile emerged from underneath the hood. He raised his hands in a defensive position.


    I shook my head and let out a sigh. Skipping food isn¡¯t good. Jade had told me as much.


    I decisively forced the bowl into his hands.


    -Not eating is bad for your health!-


    I signed annoyed.


    As I was starting to turn away, I noticed the woman laughing at us. She then said something to the robed man while pointing at me.


    Before I could react, I was suddenly and roughly gripped by the neck. My eyes darted toward my assailant who turned out to be the black-robbed man.

 58. See no evil, hear no evil...

    The black-robbed man held me by the throat. The woman tried to remove his hand, but he roughly shoved her aside as he tightened his grip.


    Strangely, it wasn¡¯t like that night. The pressure on my neck didn¡¯t feel like it came from anger and wasn¡¯t very painful. Just uncomfortable. I could feel his fingers moving around my neck as if looking for something. The sensation tickled me, but not in a good way. It made my stomach churn and made me scared. Scared that if those fingers found something, ANYTHING, it didn¡¯t like, the pressure around my neck would begin to hurt.


    The woman tried to move his arm and a few of the people around the campfire walked up to the man and  tried to help me, but the black-robed man dismissed them with some unknown words.


    After a few sickening seconds, he finally  released my throat.


    Scared I stepped back toward the campfire while gripping Darkie strongly. My eyes darted around the place. I wanted to flee, but was surrounded.


    Strangely though no one was approaching me. They all kept their distance while looking at me with worried eyes. The half bald man approached the hooded man and lifted him up by the collar before screaming at him.


    Seemingly, everyone in the camp were upset with the robed man, but it didn¡¯t make me feel much better.


    The black-robbed man  looked apologetic and didn¡¯t fight back. Seemingly feeling guilty for what he had done, but that didn¡¯t seem to calm the half-baldie. It wasn¡¯t until the woman with the bandage running around her head came forward to talk to the two of them that the robed man was finally released.


    The attention finally turned to me.


    The black robed man, sat back down and turned his head toward me.


    -Are you ?~sc~ltr Solomon?-


    Immediately, I recognised the secret language, but the word he used was foreign to me. I was hesitant, but seeing the apprehensive eyes from the people around me. I simply shook my head at his question.


    -But you can understand my hands?-


    I nodded.


    He seemed hesitant for a moment.


    -Then to whom do you owe your ?ll?ncc?-


    A weird word I¡¯d never seen before¡­


    -I don¡¯t know that word.-


    The tall woman looked at me and then told him something. He looked perplexed for a moment before continuing.


    -Can you show me?-


    He simply asked.


    I  looked at him strangely. What does he mean ¡®show him¡¯? I don¡¯t even know what the word means!


    -Are you dumb? I just told you I don¡¯t know what the word means.-


    The robbed man started talking to the leatherbound woman again. There was a lengthy back and forth until he finally turned to me again.


    -Can you repeat?-


    I felt as though I was about to explode. First he almost strangled me. Then he doesn¡¯t even try to understand what I¡¯m saying? What¡¯s wrong with him?


    -You. Are. Stupid.-


    I signed spitefully.


    The two started talking to each other again. I was starting to wonder if he actually knew the secret language or not. Maybe he just knows  how to do the signs. After a few moments, he repeated the signs to the woman who nodded. His head sunk as he sighed and made a defeated expression.


    He turned back to me.


    -Sorry, I should explain.-


    He pulled back his hood revealing pale, almost pearl-like, skin. There was a bit of hair on his head, but it was little more than the duvet that grew on my arms and was completely colourless., but most importantly was what was around his head. A leather strap was running across his face, covering his eyes.


    -That¡¯s how they punish ?~sc~ltr Solomon around here.-


    So he can¡¯t see and he¡¯s¡­ Whatever he thought I was before? Why did that make him want to kill me though? Wouldn¡¯t that mean we¡¯re friends?


    Confused, I simply let out a grunt.


    -So let¡¯s assume you¡¯re really not you¡¯re not a ?~sc~ltr Solomon for a minute¡­-


    I grunted in approval and let him continue.


    -What were you¡­ Ah let¡¯s stick to yes and no questions for now. Did you get separated from your friends.-


    I nodded.


    -From my dad.-


    The woman seemingly tried to describe the symbols to the man who seemed to somewhat understand.


    -From your dad?-


    I nodded.


    -I see. How old are you?-


    I showed him 6 fingers.


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    -Is that so? You¡¯re pretty brave trying to fight a feral at 6 years old.-


    His comment made my chest tightened. It might have been brave, but it was more stupid than anything. It felt almost as if he was mocking me.


    Seeing my lack of answers he continued.


    -Did your father teach you ?~sc~ltr Solomon tongue?-


    I shook my head.


    -From a book.-


    The woman relayed the word and he nodded.


    -I see. Did the book have a split sphere on it?-


    I thought back on the book and did remember something similar on the cover, so I nodded.


    -Okay, I¡¯m starting to see the picture here. So you use ?~sc~ltr Solomon tongue to speak with you family?-


    I was hesitant to nod since I also used it to talk to my friends, but since it was somewhat true, I approved.


    He crossed his arms for a moment and seemed hesitant. He then nodded and put his hood back up.


    -I¡¯m sorry for scaring you earlier. I thought you might be someone I know.-


    Did he try to strangle everyone he knows?


    -They¡¯re not very good people.-


    He added.


    Not very good people?


    -?~sc~ltr Solomon?-


    I asked.


    -That¡¯s right. ?~sc~ltr Solomon. Do you know them?-


    I shook my head.


    -Okay I¡¯ll tell you a bit about them then, but first¡­-


    He turned to his compagnons and seemingly explained the situation to them. Although they didn¡¯t look very happy with them, they looked at me and tried their best to ask me if I was alright. Although I wasn¡¯t very happy about being treated that way either, I could tell the man in front of me looked legitimately sorry for his action. So I nodded.


    Most of them then returned to their seat while I stayed with the strange man.


    It took some time, but through trial and error we got around to getting somewhat of a conversation.


    From what he explained ?~sc~ltr Solomon, or Eyes of Solomons as they were known, were men and women trained to use their blessings of Solomon to do things that were ¡®not so good¡¯. I had managed to ask him if he was an Eye of Solomon, which he had answered that he once was when he was younger, but after losing his eyes he had left that life behind.


    Something was bothering me though¡­


    I looked toward the woman and pointed at my neck and then at him. Understanding what I wanted to ask, she turned to the man.


    -Oh, sorry. I guess you wouldn¡¯t know¡­-


    The man once more pulled back his hood and started unfolding the large scarf around his neck¡­ Only for me to realise that he had no neck at all.


    His head was simply floating a neck length above his shoulders. I was scared for a moment, thinking that he was a ghost or that his head might tumble forward, but then curiosity hit me.


    I approached my hand toward his neck, but then stopped.


    He smiled knowingly.


    -Go ahead, I don¡¯t mind.-


    My fingers reached the space where his neck should be. I was expecting it to shock me or to feel some kind of tickling, but it was just¨C Empty. It now made sense that he had checked my neck so intently. Maybe he was trying to figure out if it was really there to start with?


    Is that also why he didn¡¯t eat?


    I got the woman¡¯s attention and pointed at the bowl and then at the man. She nodded and carried my question to him.


    -That¡¯s right. I¡¯m one of Solomon¡¯s kin and as such must observe intermittent fasting.-


    Intermittent fasting? I had definitely seen those words before, but¡­What did they mean? And more importantly why did he do that?


    I looked at the woman with a confused expression.


    -I see¡­ Since you¡¯re not actually of Solomon¡¯s you might not actually know this, but all Solomonkins share one stomach of sort. Everything we eat gets redistributed to everyone of our kins across the world. And so, to not get bloated, we must observe regular fasting¡­ Well most of the time that is. Once the Solomonkins start getting hungry, it can become quite chaotic.-


    He explained.


    I wonder what he means by ¡®quite chaotic¡¯. There must be interesting stories to tell, but asking him that sounded too complicated¡­


    -And, if I may,  whose kin are you, young girl? You used some sort of blessing to break the wall earlier, but I couldn¡¯t really tell how you did it.-


    Ah true! The wall! It did go down in the end, so it wasn¡¯t a completely failure I guess. I started patting myself down to show him the cube, but¡­


    Oh no¡­


    I started patting all my pockets and even looked inside my boot but couldn¡¯t find it anywhere.


    -What¡¯s wrong?-


    He asked after being made to notice my disarray.


    -Cube.-


    I simply signed as I continued looking through my clothes


    -You lost a cube?-


    I grunted once and he made a sympathetic expression.


    -We all lose things sometimes, don¡¯t worry.-


    He said, but I still felt a bit annoyed. Thinking it was the second best thing, I pulled out the Scorn medallion  from my pocket and showed it to them.


    -Oh, so you¡¯re a follower of Scorn? That¡¯s unusual¡­-


    I felt a slight tinge in my chest.


    Unusual was just another way of saying weird. I don¡¯t know why everyone think it¡¯s strange to be a follower of Scorn. Maybe they  misunderstand what her ¡®hatred¡¯ actually means? I was pretty confused at first myself.


    Still feeling a bit hurt, I simply shrugged.


    Seeing as I had been standing for a while, the woman invited me to take a seat between them. I hesitated for a moment, but feeling a bit exhausted, I sat down. Soon after, one of the twins passed by and distributed fuming cups to everyone. As the sun slowly set, I could feel the wind biting at the tip of my fingers and so the warm mug felt soothing to my finger. I took a sip and enjoyed a soothing sensation down my throat. It didn¡¯t have much of a taste, but it also didn¡¯t have the usual bitter after taste of tea.


    Feeling refreshed, I took a deep breath of the evening air and closed my eyes. What would I normally be doing around this time?


    Well since the sun is coming down, we would probably be set for the night, sitting around a campfire similar to this. I would be sitting on dad¡¯s lap as he signed to me the story Uncle Cook was telling to everyone. Laughing every time he made a silly expression with his otherwise morose face. Once my eyes would grow heavy dad would pick me up and carry me to my bedding in a nearby tent. He would then sit just by the flaps for the rest of the night until he went to bed just in case I got scared or had another nightmare¡­


    I felt a prickle in my eye.


    -Do you miss your parent.-


    I nodded.


    -My dad.-


    After the woman communicated the word which she was probably still familiar from earlier he nodded seriously.


    -Not your mother?-


    I felt my brow furrow.


    I felt a moment of anger at his words. What did he mean by that? Why did my mother matter right now? But then I questioned my own emotion. Why was I so angry? Wouldn¡¯t it be normal for other kids to want to see their mom when they¡¯re sad?


    I did have a mother in the past, but now her very face had become little more than a muddled memory somewhere at the back of my mind. I only remembered her hair¡­ And her eyes. Such dreadful blue eyes¡­ But she¡¯s not my mother anymore. That woman is nothing more than a stranger. I doubt I would even recognise her if I passed her in the street. I couldn¡¯t even remember her name anymore, maybe she had never had one to begin with?


    I simply shook my head.


    Probably noticing my reaction, or perhaps the lack thereof, he quickly changed topic.


    As we continued talking and the evening stretched on, the day¡¯s exhaustion finally caught up to me and my eyes shut by themselves.

 Side Story 4. A Strange Coach Driver (Jace)

    The journey to Lakepoint had been long, but finally, I was here. Halfway to Evergreen¡­ That is, if I had continued with my original itinerary.


    I had much time to consider the idea of simply throwing the Silika¡¯s stamp by the roadside and letting nature reclaim it or again throw it into the raging current of a river¡­ Finally, now facing Lake Alenia, I was considering closing my fist on this accursed family heirloom and throwing it as far as my arm permitted, and letting it sink into the dark abyss.


    Wouldn¡¯t it be simpler? Kinder? Better overall for Silika that this item never came to light? What good could possibly come out of holding on to it?


    I could only foresee difficulties. Pain. Conflict.


    All things I would never wish upon my niece¡­ But was it my place to make this decision? Was it my right to deny her just due from a family that ripped everything away from her?


    With that final thought, I slipped the heavy metallic seal back into my breast pocket and took a deep breath in. The crisp air of the lake tickled my nostrils.


    It was the first time in my entire life I had come to this part of the country. As a matter of fact, it was the first time I had gone anywhere east of the Baethorn highway¡­ And I had only travelled its length once from Brustilk to Clotop to get to my older sister¡¯s residence in the first place.


    This sight. This place. It felt different.


    The good kind of different. This is what it felt like to be on the other side of the coach station. To be the one leaving for some strange new place.


    Having recuperated enough since arriving at Lakepoint yesterday, I decided it was time to find transport to the second of many stops in my journey and headed back to the coach station.


    Since it was already early afternoon, I was able to find the station master at her office. I had tried talking to her in the morning, but she had been swarmed between dozens upon dozens of delivery requests and arrivals. I had tried to muscle my way but in vain.


    ¡°Excuse me.¡±


    I said as I knocked on the open door.


    The bespectacled woman raised her head from one of her logbooks and put on a polite expression.


    ¡°Yes? What can I do for you ma¡¯am?¡±


    She asked pleasantly enough, although I could tell from her tapping foot that she felt far from enthused.


    ¡°I¡¯m seeking passage to Sunvale.¡±


    I asked her with a bow of the head which elicited an amused smirk on her part.


    It seems my years of maid training have yet to wear away. I¡¯ll have to pay more attention or I might draw unwarranted attention to myself.


    ¡°T¡¯ Sunvale you say? Mmmhh¡­ There won¡¯t be many caravans willing to make the trip since we¡¯re a wee bit out o¡¯ season...¡±


    Thinking I understood what she was getting at, I nodded.


    ¡°That won¡¯t be an issue. I¡¯m more than happy to cover the necessary costs.¡±


    Her mouth pursed to one side.


    ¡°Well that¡¯s only part of it¡­ Not many people willing to do one-way trips like that, so you won¡¯t swamped with choices¡±


    I shook my head.


    ¡°I¡¯m not picky.¡±


    ¡°Good! Because I have exactly one driver in mind who might be willing to make that trip!¡±


    She stood up from her seat and headed out from her office.


    ¡°If You¡¯ll follow me¡­¡±


    I nodded and followed her through the yard. Passing dozens of carriages before stopping before a seemingly empty cart.


    She cleared her throat.


    ¡°Milord, I have a client for you.¡±


    I was about to ask her who she was talking to when a man sprung from underneath a pile of objects scattered on the carriage¡¯s hold, sending them flying all over.


    Taken aback, I was worried we had surprised him as I looked at all the strange foreign items on the floor, but when I raised my eyes to the man now standing proud, I understood.


    Completely bald with uneven features, comically round and fat, dressed in strange colourful clothes, and, most prominently, skin so green he could rival a tree.


    There was no question, this man was a Diidkin, a kin of the god of luck and chaos.


    Diidkins were renowned to be especially peculiar individuals, whimful in every one of their actions, unreliable, annoying, and rude, but frustratingly lucky.


    It is said that you either love or hate them, and I guess today was the day I would be finding out on what side of the fence I stood.


    ¡°Tarlia! Tarlia! It¡¯s Milord Diid! Or Diid Milord! Don¡¯t forget.¡±


    The stocky diidkin boomed, earning him a disapproving shake of the head from the station master.


    ¡°Even from you, I won¡¯t approve of using the names of the gods in vain, Milord.¡±


    She scolded him harshly.


    An uncomfortable shiver ran through my spine as well. I may not be noble, but I was brought up well enough to know how inappropriate the joke was. This could easily earn one a few lashing or even a day at the stock.


    ¡°My bad! My bad, Tarlia!¡±


    The diidkin continued while laughing.


    He climbed down from his perch and stood on the ground facing us. He was surprisingly tall. Almost a head over me. It would have been intimidating if he hadn¡¯t been wearing such a strange expression on his face and his belly hadn¡¯t been bulging under his clothes in such a comical fashion.


    ¡°So, you said something about a client? I imagine that might have to do with the scorn¡¯s kin at your side.¡±


    If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    He stated, giving me yet another shiver.


    I have been called many slurs in my life, but being referred to as a kin was a first.


    Not running to my defence this time, the station master simply nodded.


    ¡°And where would you like to go today, little lady?¡±


    He asked, a strangely polite, albeit crooked, smile drawing itself on his face.


    I cleared my throat, trying to shake any potential hiccups from my voice.


    ¡°To Sunvale, Mi-lord.¡±


    I wasn¡¯t quite sure if Milord was supposed to be a name or a title. Both felt wrong, but I decided to pronounce them in an ambiguous enough way that no confusion would be drawn.


    ¡°Ah yes, Sunvale. Before Sunfield, before Alenia, before the odd one and before Norland, but after her lake. Yes Sunvale, a nice destination. Not too far, but not so close that it wouldn¡¯t be entertaining. Only about a week or so. Yes, Sunvale is nice this time of year. Very hot though¡±


    He said in a strange fashion. As though he was muttering to himself, but outloud.


    Milord smiled widely, exposing a mouth filled with enumerable teeth, too many by any account.


    ¡°Sure! I¡¯ll take you there!~¡±


    He declared


    The negotiation afterwards were short-lived.


    The strange coach driver had been so immersed in throwing away enough of his trinkets to make space for my luggage that when the station master had named a price, he had simply approved it with a dismissive, but somehow not disrespectful, grunt.


    I was confused by the pile of objects littering the side of the carriage, but the station master seemed unshaken.


    Perhaps it was typical of coach drivers to just spring clean their carriage once in a while? I could tell some of the things he was throwing on the floor must have held some value, so someone would profit from this littering. It was still curious this man didn¡¯t bother trying to profit himself. Perhaps this was due to his Diid blood?


    Within the hour, we had departed from the coach station with my luggage and enough provisions for the trip in tow.


    I had seated myself on a bench fitted on one side of the carriage bed.


    The heat was stifling, but luckily, the coach driver had rolled up the side tarpaulin, leaving the top fabric to shield us from the blazing sun. It might be a bit rustic, but the extra leg room from being the only passenger and the humid wind coming from the lake surface made for a very relaxing atmosphere¡­


    Or at least could have been very relaxing if I wasn¡¯t sharing it with my Diidkin driver.


    ¡°...and did you know that in they make this dish called ¡®sand-cured kebab¡¯? Basically, instead of smoking or salting it, they wrap pieces of meat around those wooden sticks, you see? And they stick them in the sand for a whole day. So by the night, the heat has cooked them all the way through!¡±


    Why is he telling me this? What do I do with that information?


    He had been telling me random trivia for almost half a day now.


    ¡°Is that so?¡±


    I simply answered, trying my best to enjoy the breeze lest the heat or his voice make my head pop.


    I honestly just wanted to ignore him, but any time I simply kept quiet he just started to speak louder.


    ¡°Very much! Cadavan has beautiful deserts!¡±


    ¡°Cadavan? I thought Solom was where the deserts were.¡±


    I half-heartidly replied with a random thought.


    ¡°Common misconception for people living here in the west. Solom is actually mostly jungles and plains. Cadavan and Leviath is where the real deserts are at!¡±


    ¡°How do you know?¡±


    ¡°Well simple! I¡¯ve been there!¡±


    I felt my nose crumple up.


    ¡°You¡¯ve been all the way to Solom? How¡­?¡±


    He let out a hearty laugh.


    ¡°Well by carriage of course!¡±


    I dug in my memory for what little geography I knew.


    ¡°But I heard the boat ride from Avlir can take weeks alone¡­¡±


    He chuckled at my retort.


    ¡°I see that you have read ¡®A Journeyman¡¯s Chronicle to Redal¡¯!¡±


    I felt my ears turn red.


    ¡°How¨C How did you¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh no need to feel shy! Many people have! It was one of the most popular books of its time! Although the author was quite excentric. In fact, so excentric that he implied that the best travel route to Solom was, as you said, through Alvir. But that¡¯s completely wrong. In fact, if you were to travel to Alvir to head to Solomon, your travel time could almost double! We¡¯re talking a full additional year or much more if you can¡¯t afford a horse! No no no. Absolutely not. Passing by Alvir is simply the ¡®scenic route¡¯. If you want to travel to Solomon, you have to head south from the Theocracy all the way through Paramein.¡±


    Paramein? I leaned back on my seat. The continent of Redal was often described as a line with three dips, but Paramein and Alvir were on two different dips, how could they both lead to Solom?


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure I understand.¡±


    I admitted.


    ¡°Hahaha!¡±


    I heard him laugh heartily again.


    ¡°By any chance, have you never seen a world map?¡±


    He asked with a glint in his eye.


    ¡°Well of course not! I¡¯ve seldom seen maps of Firsland and those are expensive enough! How could I afford a map of the entire world?¡±


    I responded annoyed.


    Maps were very expensive.


    As opposed to books, maps couldn¡¯t be mass-produced through blessings, so each of them had to be painstakingly drawn by hand. Details couldn¡¯t be spared on a map, since the lives of travellers could hinge on it, so drawing the entire world was¡­


    ¡°Oh, but that¡¯s just because you¡¯re looking at the wrong type of maps! Here hold these¡­¡±


    Before I even had the time to react, he release his grip on the horses. Panicked, I jumped forward and grabbed the reins while he turned around and, quite gracefully considering his round shape, pilfered through the pile of items stored in the bed of the carriage.


    I was frozen stiff with fear. Not only had I never driven a carriage, but I was also deathly afraid of horses. With their huge size and loud hooves, I was always scared they would just yank me aside and step on me.


    After a few more agonizing seconds, he finally finished whatever he was doing and turned to me.


    He looked at me for a moment and exploded in laughter.


    ¡°You know that the horses know how to stay on the road, right? I just didn¡¯t want the reins to fall to the ground!¡±


    I felt my cheeks turn red, but still did my best to look composed as I handed back the reins to the kin. I took my seat as he continued laughing.


    ¡°HAHAHA you¡¯re a riot, Scorn lady!¡±


    ¡°Please call me Jace, Milord.¡±


    I said, as I looked away in embarrassment.


    ¡°HAHAHA! Ok ok. Of course, Jace. Here, take a look.¡±


    He said as he handed me a rolled piece of parchment.


    Curious I unfolded the yellow paper.


    ¡°This is a ¡®maritime map¡¯ it¡¯s used by sailors. It¡¯s not as detailed, but you can really see the whole wide thing can¡¯t you?¡±


    Before me was a map, but not any map. It was a ¡®world map¡¯ as Milord called it. I slowly traced my finger over each of the country¡¯s name starting from Firsland. It then went toward Theocracy where her ladyship resided. It continued through Morrow and then Avlir. I then slowly traced the coast I had read about so many times in books all the way down to the tip pointed straight at Solom.


    I quickly realised that Milord was right. It would be much faster to travel through Esliev, Simery and Paramein, but¡­


    I had a strange feeling in my chest.


    My eyes were led back to Firsland. A tiny rectangle of a kingdom, tucked in the corner, barely visible. I put the tip of my index at its top-left most corner. This finger. The small area underneath it. In my whole life, with months of travelling. I had never travelled outside of the tiny area underneath my finger right now.


    When I was young, I had dreamed of going to the Theocracy. Perhaps to take an oath and become a Seeir Kinsmann or even join the Septenary, but that wasn¡¯t really important. I had simply wanted to be there. See the Pearl towers with my own eyes or climb the thousand steps to the Conference¡­


    To me, this would have been the journey of a lifetime. Something only achievable in a dream, and now¡­ I learn that the strange green sillyman sitting in front of me had gone all the way to Solom. A whole other continent away.


    This feeling¡­ In a sense it was a bit like respect. Respect for his ability to make the trip and come back without a care in the world, but¡­ It left a bitter taste as well.


    As I mulled on these emotions, Milord continued talking endlessly about his travel while my eyes were glued to the map.

 59. A band of adventurers...

    Silika & Jace by @domitius_tan


    When I woke up tucked into some blankets the next day, the group was already up and dismantling the camp. They were much quicker than with the caravan. In a matter of minutes, the tents were no more and the resulting bundles were strapped to the two horses.


    Seeing as I was small enough, they grabbed me half-awake and sat me atop the bundles on the horses before setting out.


    I had a fleeting thought about not having had breakfast yet, but I felt too dazed to even bring it up.


    Their travelling pace was very different from the caravan. They didn¡¯t bother sticking to roads or even flat stretches of land and happily climbed over hills and rubbles. At first, I thought it was because we were lost, but eventually, I spied the tattooed man eyeing a map of what I assumed to be the region.


    I was kind of curious as to why they were travelling like this, but seeing as everyone was busy finding proper footing on the uneven rocky terrain, I couldn¡¯t exactly ask them about it, but it wasn¡¯t long before my question answered itself.


    As I had come to expect from the region, it was still doted by many ruined buildings dotting the landscape, but as opposed to the road the caravan had followed, it appeared that my new travelling companions were heading straight for the biggest one they could spot from a distance.


    Curiously though, they didn¡¯t go right in.


    Instead, they stopped some distance away and let the black robbed man, whom I took to calling Pearl for his pearly white head, approach the structure by himself. He lifted up the copper ball and sent it flying into the air.


    The ball then flew toward the building and disappeared between its walls.


    Confused I looked toward the leatherbound lady whom I had taken to calling Squirrel. After getting her attention I pointed toward Pearl curiously.


    She looked toward him as well before making an understanding nod and indicating that I would have to wait.


    I went back to staring at him he looked focused. His hands were moving around slightly, as though looking for something right in front of him.


    Eventually, the copper ball returned to him. Seemingly satisfied, Pearl returned to the others and told them something.


    Nodding in agreement, the twins took some ropes from the horses and followed by the woman with the bandage around her face, headed toward a collapsed wall, disappearing in the shade of the remaining ceiling. Meanwhile, the tattooed man and half-bald one took out leather pouches from the horses¡¯ packs and went after them.


    While all this was going on, Squirrel took me by the hand and approached Pearl who was now resting and taking long gulps from his canteen.


    She said a few words to him before leaving me with him and taking off to help the others.


    Despite the events of last night, I was no longer nervous around Pearl. Somehow I could justify in my head why he had done what he did¡­ While not actually understanding at all.


    -So, you were curious about what I was doing?-


    I nodded and let out an affirmatory grunt.


    He smiled and closed his canteen, before pointing in the general direction of the structure¡¯s remains.


    -I was scouting for danger.-


    He signed.


    Scouting?


    I had come across that word often in the secret language book. Although I¡¯m not sure exactly what it means, it seemed to mean something like looking around¡­ But how would Pearl do that with a ball?


    -Are you perhaps curious how I did?-


    [Uh..Uh.]


    I let out some approving noises while nodding enthusiastically.


    -Well it¡¯s a bit complicated, so interrupt me if anything sounds too confusing.-


    He signed as he took a seat on the ground, placing the copper sphere on his lap.


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    I imitated him and sat across from him.


    He picked up the sphere and held it across from him for a moment. When I did nothing he shook it again as if to tell me to take it. I looked at the copper sphere. The first time I had seen this thing, it was covered in the blood of the recently killed monster. It was a strange thing to think about. I had never seen anyone or anything die before yesterday, so I felt a mix of fascination and disgust for the object that had caused it. Despite the impulse to do otherwise, I still took it in my hands, albeit slightly reluctantly.


    Somehow, it was surprisingly light. I had expected it to be very heavy, yet I could easily hold it with one hand.


    As I did before, I noticed some script covering the sphere, but it was completely indecipherable. While I held it in my hand, Pearl placed his palm on top of it and, through some kind blessing, it opened up like a flower. I couldn¡¯t really see what was inside right away, or more accurately, whatever was inside made it hard for my eyes to focus on it.


    It felt as though my very pupils were being sucked into it, but after rubbing my eyes a few times I was able to focus enough to notice a single dried-up flower. I couldn¡¯t tell what it looked like exactly though. I tried to focus on it longer, but as it made my eyes increasingly itchy, it was getting harder to focus on it. Pearl eventually closed back the copper ball and placed it back on his lap.


    -This is a ianis flower, also known as Solomon¡¯s rose. It¡¯s what kinsmanns call a ¡®catalyst¡¯. Similar to the black stone you kins of scorn use. It allows me to focus the blessing of Solomon and freely manipulate this copper sphere like so.-


    Without any movement from the man, the copper ball started floating in the air and doing spinning motions.


    -I don¡¯t know how familiar you are with Solomon and his teachings, but he isn¡¯t simply the god of death, he is also the god of absence, or in other words, the void. Emptiness. So, through his blessing, I can create minute instances of emptiness in the air allowing me to move the catalyst freely.-


    He let the ball fall back on his lap and held it up.


    -The catalyst is encased in this receptacle. I¡¯m not versed in enchantments, but skilled Solomon kins are able to imprint the material with the Solomon¡¯s Rose properties and from there on, they can move as one object.-


    He placed back the sphere on his legs.


    Although his explanation was interesting to mull over, I was still confused as to how he could use to ''look around''...


    -Even if I can''t see your face, I can guess you''re wondering about!-


    He let out what I assumed to be a dry laugh.


    -The scouting thing, well it''s really pretty simple¡­ Well simple if you¡¯re familiar with the laws of Solomon''s blessing. It allows me to create voids in the air, but not in solid or living things. With practice, I learned how to use this to visualize the area around the sphere and figure out if there''s anything interesting¡­ Or dangerous.-


    He explained.


    I found the information very interesting. A catalyst for blessing wasn''t limited to itself... In other words, it means that I could use the black stone for more than just knocking down walls¡­ If I got the right receptacle. I wonder what type of receptacles exist for the ferrous stone in the first place? It was hard to imagine.


    -Ah in case you were curious, although I can¡¯t create voids in solid or living things, I can still throw it at things. Think of it like sipping on a cup of water. When you suck the air it makes the water fly into your mouth. The blessing is a bit like the same process, but much stronger.-


    He concluded.


    After a couple of minutes, the rest of the group returned with now neatly wrapped bundles. I was curious about what they had wrapped in them, but I didn''t have the opportunity to ask before I was picked up and placed back on top of one of the horses.


    As we departed once more, I started feeling my belly rumble uncomfortably. We STILL hadn''t had breakfast and I was growing irritated as I watched the sun rise high up in the sky.


    We stopped at a few more ruins on the way, but from Pearl''s expression after scouting, it seems they had nothing worth notice.


    Eventually, we reached a small town. My hopes of finally getting breakfast raised when we started heading toward a building which turned out to be an inn.


    I could feel myself salivating as I caught a whiff of something cooking.


    A man approached from the counter and from his disposition, I guessed he must have been the owner. Pear and Squirrel immediately started talking to him while sometime pointing in my direction.


    I was trying my best to wait patiently while they discussed something with the burly red-bearded man, when Pearl turned to me.


    -Could you write your name for us?-


    I nodded and Pearl produced charcoal and a piece of paper. I walked to a table and took a seat on the stool.


    As luck would have it, my name was one of the few things I could confidently write down on paper.


    I slowly traced the curves, lines and strokes before handing them the piece of paper with ??k ?shb?k written as neatly as my unsteady hands had allow.


    Squirrel took the paper and examined it before handing it to the innkeeper. He looked at my scribbles before shaking his head.


    They started talking again and I hopped off my seat.


    I waited patiently for a few more seconds but my stomach rumbled again when I caught a whiff of something sweet in the air.


    Following my nose, I walked away from the discussion since I wasn¡¯t needed anyway. I headed toward the counter beyond which a woman was standing in front of what I guessed must have been a boiling cauldron. Just about to pull on the skirt of the kind-looking woman to ask for some of whatever she was cooking, Squirrel caught me by the hand before and pulled me back to the group.


    -Don¡¯t bother people, Silika.-


    Pearl said with a scowl before returning to his conversation with the owner.


    I felt annoyed.


    Who was he to tell me who to bother and not to bother?


    When I was hungry at the caravan, I normally just tugged on the aunties sleeves and they gave me food, why was it that this nice lady wouldn¡¯t?


    I wanted to kick him in the chin, but I repressed the urge and only lightly stomped my foot in frustration.


    I tried to pull on his shirt to get his attention, but he dismissed me.


    -Sorry, not now, we have to prepare.-


    Prepare? Prepare for what?

 60. ...and clowns

    Before I could ask Pearl what he had meant by preparing, they had hurriedly left the inn with me in tow, much to the chagrin of my stomach which growled once more.


    We didn¡¯t walk very far, as just outside the inn, I could see the rest of the band doing something in the middle of the village center. Squirrel released my hand and let me know to wait there, before joining the others who appeared to be stringing something together.


    A curious crowd slowly built around the group and, to my surprise, they had somehow turned the tents from last night into a makeshift stage.


    I was a bit at a loss for a moment as I noticed the townfolks excitedly gathering around.


    Did I miss something? What¡¯s going on?


    Then, in a puff of smoke, the woman with the nose bandage appeared in the centre of the stage followed by Squirrel who came in walking on her hands, half- baldie whose hair was now braided into a long rope, the tattooed man being himself, the twins now disguised in clowns and finally Pearl whose head was mysteriously missing. A moment later something flew in and Squirrel jumped on top of it.


    I was surprised to recognise Pearl¡¯s head. Squirrel was precariously balancing on top of it as it slowly rose up in the air before returning to where i belonged on top of Pearl¡¯s shoulders. She did a pirouette and landed right behind him.


    The crowd immediately started clapping excitedly.


    It finally clicked in my mind. My newfound companions didn¡¯t look strange for no reason, they must have been some kind of travelling circus as well!


    That must be why Pearl was in such a hurry when talking to the innkeeper! The other must have needed help to prepare.


    Before long the show went at full pace.


    Although it was very impressive at first to see my new friends do all kinds of acrobatics, I started feeling antsy just standing there and adults kept bumping into me rudely as they tried to get a better look of the stage¡­ And I was still very hungry.


    [Let¡¯s go for a walk.]


    I mumbled as I took out Darkie from my coat¡¯s inner pocket.


    ¡°Sounds fun!¡±


    He said in his little bunny voice.


    I  started walking away from the town square, curious about what there was to see around here.


    As I left the main square and headed down the small beaten path to the row of houses that must have normally housed the people currently in the square, I had a strange feeling develop in my guts.


    It was my first time in a small town.


    It felt odd somehow.


    [Why do you think that is?]


    ¡°Maybe it¡¯s something like curiosity?¡±


    It¡¯s true that I was familiar with very populated places with tightly packed buildings and also used to very spacious estates. Yet it was my first time seeing something right in between. It gave me this strange feeling. As though something was wrong even if it wasn¡¯t.


    It made me want to see more


    As I was distractedly pondering, three kids emerged from the side of a house and bumped into me, making Darkie go flying and nearly sending me to do the same if it hadn¡¯t been for a boy catching me by the arm at the last moment.


    He pulled me back to my feet and I was surprised to find a group of three children around my age, two boys and one girl


    The girl, who I guess had been the one to bump into me, profusely apologised while the younger boy went and picked up Darkie for me.


    ¡°I¡¯m okay, Silika! Don¡¯t worry!¡±


    Confused but glad neither me or Darkie were hurt, I simply smiled and waved to show that I forgave her.


    We all then looked at each other awkwardly.


    I guess they expected me to say something, but I didn¡¯t even know what that could be¡­ Let alone the possibility that they would actually understand what I would say in the first place.


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    The younger of the two boys then pointed at the cloth ball the girl was holding and then at me while saying something.


    Was he inviting me to play? I mean that¡¯s not much of a doll when compared to Darkie, but it¡¯s been a long time since I¡¯ve played with other kids like this. Even at the orphanage, it was pretty rare to play with anyone else but Jade¡­ The offer was tempting enough, so I nodded happily.


    The girl then handed me the cloth ball and stared at me expectantly.


    I¡¯m not sure what they were expecting of me, so I simply stood there confused until one of the boys, catching on took the ball from me and started running. The other immediately started running after him.


    Oh! We¡¯re not playing dolls! That¡¯s how it¡¯s played!


    I suddenly started feeling excited. I hadn¡¯t played a game involving running in a lifetime.


    I tucked Darkie back into my pocket and joined them after the boy.


    We played for a while, I even got to hold the ball for a bit. I wasn¡¯t that fast, not as much as I was before anyway, but just the thrill to be playing like this again made it worth it.


    In the middle of a game where the youngest boy was running away, the two boys suddenly stopped in their tracks and turned to a specific direction.


    I stopped as well, but didn¡¯t see anything in that direction, so I turned back to them. The boys then said something to me and the girl while waving at us to follow them.


    Curious, I happily obliged.


    We followed the two boys across the narrow street through the open door of a small wooden house. We crossed the threshold into a cramped livingroom where a woman, who I assume was the two boys¡¯ mother from the similar colour of their red hair, turned to us and looked surprised at my presence.


    She greeted the girl at my side as though they were familiar with each other before asking something to the older boy while turning to me. She looked surprised, but generally unbothered by what the boys told her.


    She smiled at me and asked me something.


    There were very few things she could be asking me right now, so I decided to say the only thing I knew how to.


    [Siileekah!]


    I said proudly and, as luck would have it, she seemed satisfied with my answer.


    The rest of the kids had already gathered around the table and she pointed at me to do the same.


    Once seated, I smelled a sweet aroma.


    The thing I¡¯d been waiting for since we arrive in town! No, maybe ever since I woke up! It was here!


    The woman smiled as she slid a bowl of warm gruel in front of each of us. I could barely contain myself before starting to gulp down the content much to the amusement of the other kids around the table.


    The woman, seeing my enthusiasm and empty bowl seemingly offered me a second serving which I didn¡¯t hesitate to nod vehemently for.


    It was only after downing my third bowl that I finally felt properly full.


    I was busying myself with taking in the pleasant atmosphere of the household when the attention shifted toward the door.


    Curious, I turned around and was surprised to find the nose-bandaged woman looking panicked through the doorway.


    Her expression grew wide with relief when she locked eyes with me.


    She came and grabbed me by the hand, basically pulling me off my seat. Not sure how else to react I simply waved goodbye to the other baffled kids and the kind woman as the nose-bandage woman bowed apologetically and left the house.


    I was a bit confused, but I guess that she had been worried about me for some reason. Hopefully, nothing bad happened during their performance¡­ Oh, maybe she was mad I didn¡¯t watch it all the way through?


    We quickly walked through the town back toward the main place where I could still see the rough husk of the makeshift stage where Pearl was nervously pacing. He turned around at our approach and quickly walked our way. The bandaged woman placed me in front of her and Pearl crouched down to my height.


    -You can¡¯t go off on your own like that! Do you know how worried we all were?-


    He signed hastily.


    He looked really angry and I felt myself tearing up a little bit. Not because he was scary, but because somehow I didn¡¯t want to disappoint him. I didn¡¯t really understand what it was that made him so mad, but I felt guilty.


    He finished listening to something the bandaged woman was telling him and let out a sigh.


    -Look you can¡¯t just go into people¡¯s home¡­-


    -I was hungry!-


    I silently interrupted him, but since he couldn¡¯t see he continued.


    -..It¡¯s impolite and you could get in trouble. I don¡¯t know why you did it, but it¡¯s dangerous for a little girl like you to go on your own. What if they were bad people? What if they kidnapped you?-


    I felt my blood grow cold.


    Kidnapped?


    I had been kidnapped once before.


    It was scary and painful. People always got hurt. I don¡¯t like thing that hurt. It wasn¡¯t something I wanted to experience again.


    I could feel my hadn shaking as he continued to silently scold me with his hand. I felt tears dropping from my cheeks.


    I felt stupid.


    How could I be so careless? Nothing had happened, but what if it did?


    Dad isn¡¯t here right now, if I got kidnapped I could be gone for good this time¡­ Wait¡­Where is dad?


    Why hasn¡¯t he found me yet? Did he¡­ Abandon me? No no no no that can¡¯t be right! Dad said that he loves me and that I¡¯m his family now. I must just be hard to find right now. He wouldn¡¯t give up on me¡­Right?


    Pearl continued scolding me even when my face was stained with tears. It was only when Squirrel finally came back to the town centre that he stopped when she started scolding him back.


    She picked me up in her arms and held me tight as I continued to cry. Worried and confused that perhaps this was how I had lost my dad.

 61. A trip into town

    It has been a few days, maybe weeks, since I first started travelling with my new companions and I learned a lot about them and their way of life over our short time together.


    For one, they weren¡¯t as much a ¡®touring-circus¡¯ as a band of treasure hunters.


    The way I see it, they simply made use of the inherent adventuring skills to entertain people in towns. It did make a pretty amount of coins from onlookers, but it was also an opportunity to showcase the spoil of their ruin delving.


    As I came to learn, the many ruins were both a source of danger and riches. When they were abandoned, there had rarely been opportunities for their owners to properly clear out the place of supplies. I was curious as to how the group could always find more goods even after so many years, but as Pearl had put it;


    -Before all these ruins run out of treasures, many more wars will have passed and twice as many castles will stand to replace them.-


    It was a strange thing to think about.


    Lionheart had told me that this land had been the site of many battles, but it was only now that I was exploring the very husk of what remained after that I understood the scale of how troubled the Duchy of Lowland was. According to Tattoos, the nickname I gave to the man with the tattoos covering his entire body, the Lowland went to war almost every 5 to 10 years. It was almost unusual that this place wasn¡¯t at war.


    To me, it was even stranger to see so many villages scattered across the landscape. In a single day, we could visit as many as 3 towns, yet we never stayed there for long. My travelling companion seemed to prefer the open road to the comfort of inns for some reason.


    Despite having travelled across a dozen towns and asked around, seemingly no one had encountered or even heard about the caravan I had been part of. The name Ashbrook meant nothing to them and my own name meant even less. Because of that, my mood steadily grew worse.


    I started thinking that perhaps things wouldn¡¯t be alright.


    Perhaps Lionheart had given up on me. Perhaps I was so lost he couldn¡¯t find me. Or perhaps, worse than anything, the monsters had¡­


    No. I knew that was impossible.


    Lionheart was strong. He had protected me against the shadow monsters from the basement in Evergreen¡­


    Even if they didn¡¯t really exist in the end¡­


    I shook my head trying to scatter the thoughts away from my head.


    -Are you alright?-


    Pearl asked before helping me off the horse.


    [Uh uh¡­]


    I let out while nodding.


    -You were making the sound again.-


    He signed after having let me back on my feet.


    I felt a wave of shame run through me.


    Making ¡®the sound¡¯. It was something I had never realised before meeting Pearl. Apparently, I often let out noises from my mouth when I felt sad or anxious. At first I thought he meant crying, but he seemed pretty insistent that it was different. More like a whimper or a groan.


    Anyway. it didn¡¯t sound nice, that was for certain.


    I looked up toward the paved street, the first I had encountered since leaving Evergreen. According to Pearl this was one of the biggest town in the region, so there was bound to be someone that knew about the caravan or my name, but I felt guilty. It was obvious that they had had to take a detour to come here since they didn¡¯t stop at any of the ruins on the way here . Seeing how hard they worked for a few coins in each town, it couldn¡¯t have been an easy decision to make¡­ Though I do wonder what they do with all of it. After all, they seemed focused on spending as little as possible.


    Now that I was looking around the more familiar urban streets, some part of me was excited at the prospect of maybe finally finding a hint of where my dad had gone, but another part had grown weary of having my hopes brought up and then let down.


    Like we had done at every other town, the group split up into pairs and started going around the city. As had become common place by now, I was walking around while holding hand with Pearl and, for today, it was Nose-bandage who was tagging along.


    We greeted the others before heading out toward what Pearl told me would be the town square, the place I would be most likely to find anyone familiar to me. Although there weren¡¯t a lot of those around in the first place¡­ Beyond my dad and Uncle Cook, I was only vaguely familiar with the aunties and a few knights, and I doubt they will just happen to walk by.


    It took some time, but we finally reached the town center.


    It was busy with stalls and people standing around, but not as busy as the market in Evergreen. Here, I could at least see across the crowds just fine and I doubt I could get lost.


    Nose-bandage led us toward the center where a billboard stood with a variety of papers covering it. I was familiar with these by now. Apparently they were used by locals to post news or advertisement. Although unusual, according to Tattoos, they were sometimes used to look for missing people.


    While they read through the countless notices I let my eyes wander over the crowd. I noticed the flow of people started changing as the attention of the crowd became focused on two women seemingly shouting at each other. Although curious, I had learnt my lesson and, like the other bystanders, only watched from a distance.


    Suddenly, one of the women drew a short sword. The other then did the same while they glared at each other.


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    Confused and worried, I started pulling on Pearl¡¯s sleeve while pointing urgently at the women who had now begun striking each other¡¯s blade violently.


    -Oh don¡¯t worry about them. They¡¯re just arguing.-


    He signed dismissively.


    Arguing?! Is it the same type of ¡®arguing¡¯ he did when he thought I was a Solomon¡¯s eye?!


    [Nu-uh!]


    I tried to communicate my disapproval at his explanation, which at first only earned me a shrug, but after a bit of a back and forth between him and Nose-bandage, he ceded and elaborated.


    -I guess you¡¯re not be familiar with the Steihnner culture¡­ To make a long story short, it¡¯s customary amongst kins to resolve arguments through armed combat¡­ And in case you¡¯re worried, no no one will get hurt. Steihnner¡¯s blessings make extensive uses of what¡¯s called the ¡®law of war¡¯. The law of war prioritized defeat of the oponent over their death and in so doing, prevents killing an opponent who has whole-heartedly accepted defeat.-


    He then let out a sigh and seemingly shrugged.


    ¡°An honorable thing coming from a god which preaches constant conflict, but if you actuallt read the scripture, you will actually figure out that it was created to prolong warfare by preserving worthy warriors¡­ Anyway, enough babbling from me, these two girls are just fighting over some pretty boy. Nothing to actually worry about.-


    Just as he said that the sword of one the women bounced off her opponent¡¯s blade and stopped an inch away from the other girl¡¯s hand.


    As if it had hit a wall.


    The otherwoman dropped the blade she was holding and, seemingly, gracefully accepting her defeat by sitting down on the ground, while the other woman, proud smile plastered across her face, pranced away from the battle and grabbed some beffuzled man¡¯s hand and whisked him away.


    I felt short of words.


    [They never talk about these kind of things in fairytales...]


    I mumbled to myself.


    ¡°I guess it¡¯s just not as poetic as a knight in shining armour going against evil king.¡±


    Darkie responded from within my arms.


    I nodded my head in agreement and turned back to my two companions.


    Pearl had gone to talk to a nearby man. From his attire and trumpet like apparatus, must have been some town crier. Meanwhile, Nose-bandage softly shook her head to herself while reading the billboard before turning to me with a sorry smile. She kneeled down while looking at me and gently patted my head.


    I used to think that it was a bit of an odd thing to do, but seemingly all my travelling companions enjoyed playing with my hair like that. From what Pearl said, I apparently have very soft hair¡­ Well he doesn¡¯t have any to speak of, so it¡¯s not much of a comparison in his case.


    After a moment, Pearl came back to us.


    -The town crier recommends heading to the ¡®Gl?¡¯. It¡¯s a popular spot amongst travellers.-


    Nose-bandage and I nodded. She asked for some additional direction to the town crier before started heading out.


    The cobblestone road was definitely something I was grateful for. Although I was lucky to be able to ride on one of the horses most of the wa, the time I spent walking the steppes or towns was less than enjoyable. The ground was uneven at the best of times and I would constantly trip on holes in the ground.


    As I was appreciating the quality of the road, I noticed its quality suddenly increase sharply. Curious, I looked around and noticed that the building had also became much more beautifuyl. It almost reminded me of our home in Evergreen.


    Well.


    These house weren¡¯t AS big as in Evergreen, and there were only a couple of them, but they did contrast strikingly with the rest of¡­ Well everything I had seen in Lowland up until now.


    My eye were then drawn to something else.


    A symbol or maybe I should call it an insignia. I stopped in my tracks and looked at it.


    Stuck in the middle of a metal gate, it felt familiar, but I couldn¡¯t place it¡­ A green flower surrounded by golden leaves¡­ It was flashy in colours, yet dull in appearance¡­ And for some reason I felt sick while looking at it.


    There were very few things that made me feel that way, it made me a bit confused as to why such a pretty looking flower would make me feel so wrong.


    As I fiddled in my coat¡¯s pocket to fetch Darkie from his nook, I felt a slight jingling and the cold sensation of something metallic. It immediately came to me.


    I knew this flower, in fact I knew it very well.


    I released Darkie and it instead let my fingers fiddle downward into my pocket. It took me a moment, and in the meantime Pearl and Nose-bandage had walked back to me, but I ignored them as I finally grasped the small metallic object and pulled it out of my pocket.


    It was the brooch from that day at the theatre. A signet as dad had called it.


    I recalled his words from that day: ¡®Think of it like a key, but to a noble¡¯s estate¡¯.


    So with this, I could¡­


    I decidedly started walking toward the gate.


    Reflexively, Nose-bandage tried to stop me, but I simply shook off her grip and made my way to the metal bars of the estate¡¯s entrance.


    I gripped the heavy gate and shook it lightly to grab the nearby attendant¡¯s attention. He looked annoyed, but came up to me nonetheless.


    I suddenly felt nervous as I looked up at the large burly man. What if dad was wrong? What if they just took it from me?


    As i hesitated I could see the gatekeeper becoming impatient, and I could start to feel Nose-bandage tugging on my sleeve.


    Realising I had no time to waste, I showed the gatekeeper the signet.


    His reaction was pretty mild.


    Actually he didn¡¯t really react much at all since he was too busy talking to my companion to notice what was in my hands.


    Only when he was about to tell me off that he seemed to catch a glimpse at the small emerald badge in my hand.


    He tried to take it from me, but I reflexively pulled my hand away without breaking eye contact. He eyed me for a second before turning back to my companions and asking them something.


    They spoke back and forth and after some hesitation, the man nodded and indicated to wait there for a moment.


    Immediately, Pearl spun me around.


    -What do you think you¡¯re doing? You can¡¯t just bother a noble household like that!-


    Pearl began scolding me, but I ignored him and simply showed the signet to Nose-bandage and pointed at the emblem on the gate.


    Nose-bandage¡¯s eyes widened and she quickly explained the situation to Pearl.


    -So are they your masters?-


    Masters? As in, me being their servant?


    I let out an annoyed grunt while shaking my head.


    -Oh? Then are they friends of your family?-


    Friends.


    Me friend with some dirty green-haired and pink-eyed man¡­ The very memory of snake like face was giving me shivers¡­ But denying Pearl¡¯s interpretation now would just cause unnecessary confusion.


    I nodded while letting out an approving grunt.


    After that, we waited in silence for the man to come back. I wanted to ask Pearl what he told the gatekeeper earlier, but communication with Pearl was strained at the best of time, so I awkwardly waited.


    Some time later, the gatekeeper returned and, with great strain, opened the iron gate and allowing us into the estate.

 62. The man without a slit for a mouth

    As we waited in the sitting room of the mansion, I took out Darkie from my pocket.


    [Hey, Darkie.]


    ¡°What¡¯s up, Silika?¡±


    [I¡¯m scared¡­]


    I hadn¡¯t had the time to really think about it, but the person I was about to rely on was a stranger. Not only a stranger, but a scary one at that. One of the only people outside of¡­ My before life¡­ Who made me feel such raw disgust.


    Although, now that I had gone down this route, there was no turning back. At least Pearl and Nose-bandage were with me¡­


    ¡°It¡¯s going to be alright, Silika! If it was dangerous, dad wouldn¡¯t have left you with the signet, would he? He probably thought you would be safer with it than without it!¡±


    What Darkie said made a lot of sense.


    I can¡¯t imagine dad purposely leaving me to face danger on my own. Although, danger did have a habit of finding me.


    The door to the sitting room flung open and before I could see who was coming in, my companions stood up from their seats, blocking my view.


    Confused, I looked up at them, and realised they were bowing so their heads were at the same height as their shoulders. The same way Jade had taught me to do at the orphanage.


    I noticed a worried glance in my direction from Nose-Bandage. She probably noticed that I still hadn¡¯t done the same, but I knew better than to do that.


    I waited until the man who had just entered the room came into my field of vision.


    I was relieved to notice that he was not the same one as the man at the theatre, although I could tell they must have at least been family. Between their long dark green hair, crisped expression and sharp eyes there was no mistaking it. Although this man here had pale blue eyes instead of pink and, thankfully, had a normal looking mouth compared to the snake-like nobleman who had given me the signet.


    Once the man faced me, he looked expectantly and, without a word, I stood up from my seat and carefully curtsied.


    This had been much easier when I had a dress to hold on to¡­


    Although I could see my companions staring at me strangely, I knew this was the right thing to do once I saw a smile flutter at the corner of the nobleman¡¯s crisped lips.


    I Mentally thanked Stash for his annoying and impromptu etiquette classes.


    The man took his seat and I followed his example. After a moment of hesitation nose-bandaged took her seat as well while urging Pearl to do the same. In the meantime, a servant came by and started pouring tea for everyone. When he put the delicate cup in my hand, I felt relieved at the familiar aroma of tea tickling my nostrils.


    I took a long sip and felt the cold stiffness in my chest relax ever so slightly.


    The man looked at me with an air of distant curiosity, but also something else. He wanted something out of this conversation.


    He spoke some words to me, startling me out of my contemplation. Not sure what I was being told, I glanced at Pearl, but he looked perplexed and his hands decidedly remained stuck to his laps.


    I nudged him, which seemed to take him out of whatever torpor had taken hold of him.


    He began signing.


    -His lordship introduced himself as Viscount |sl Prnm¡­-


    I politely bowed and did my best to introduce myself.


    [Siileekah.]


    The nobleman nodded followed by another flurry of words.


    -Viscount Prnm wishes to confirm that you are truly Silika Ashbrook of Clotop.-


    Of Clotop? It¡¯s the first time I¡¯m addressed that way, but the name is familiar as it was the one of our destination. Since dad was from there, it would make sense to say that I¡¯m also from there, so I grunted approvingly.


    The nobleman nodded and continued talking.


    As the words came out of his mouth, I could see a strange expression appear on both Pearl and Nose-Bandage¡¯s faces. It wasn¡¯t a normal expression. Something between confusion, surprise and an ounce of fear¡­


    Perhaps they were anxious about being in this mansion? It wasn¡¯t exactly the most hospitable looking place.


    -The Viscount says that he¡¯s aware of your condition, so he understands it may be difficult, but he would like to ask you some questions, is that alright.-


    Aware of  my condition? Why would someone so far away from Evergreen know about my condition? Why would anyone know really?


    I wish I could be the one asking questions, but that was something I rarely had the opportunity to, so I simply nodded.


    -He asks from whom you received the signet?-


    I felt my lips purse up.


    That was a difficult to answer and completely annoying question.


    How do you say a name or describe someone without words? I scratched my head for a moment. I guess there weren¡¯t a ton of things to say that didn¡¯t also describe the Viscount as well¡­ I really hope he doesn¡¯t get too offended, there¡¯s only so many ways I can explain.


    If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    I tried to point at my hair and then eyes to describe the strange man¡¯s pink eyes. The next part though was a bit more difficult and there was only one way I could think of doing it.


    I bit on my lips and pulled the corners on the corner of my mouth into what I hope looked like a strange grin, while doing my best impression of the strange man with a slit for a mouth.


    The entire room stared at me as I held the pose.


    They didn¡¯t talk or even move. Their expression stuck between mildly perplexed and down-right confused.


    I could feel a cold sweat trickle down my neck as the corner of my mouth began aching.


    Just as I was about to release my mouth out of embarrassment, the Viscount exploded in laughter.


    He laughed so much, he started choking and a servant had to rush to him with a pitcher of water which the nobleman somehow managed to empty down his throat in one straight gulp.


    ¡°You should take note next time you have to swallow one of those medicine.¡±


    Darkie whispered from his perch in my arms.


    I let out an approving grunt and waited for the man to calm down his laughter.


    When the man opened his mouth again, Pearl began signing.


    -The Viscount is happy you¡¯ve had such¡­ a significant encounter with his brother.-


    I could barely hold a grimace at Pearl¡¯s words which eluded another round of laughter from our host.


    After this little back and forth, our host seemed to turn much more jovial and his following questions carried much less suspicion.


    We slowly discussed my current circumstances. Although I couldn¡¯t give much details, we were able to establish that I was separated from my father after our caravan was attacked.


    He also inquired about my health, but despite telling him I felt fine, he still had a doctor come examine me.


    After being satisfied with his examination, the doctor tried to make me drink some strange concoction. I didn¡¯t want to drink it and looked over toward Pearl and Nose-bandage who were still talking to the Viscount.


    -It¡¯s good for you. Drink.-


    Pearl simply signed after Nose-bandage poked him.


    ¡°Alright, Silika! Do it like the Viscount did earlier! All in one gulp!¡±


    Darkie encouraged me as I squeezed him tight for some courage.


    I Squeezed the air out of my lungs and in one swift movement, I emptied the content of the mug¡­


    Which was a terrible idea as the content of the mug was piping hot.


    I immediately started chocking on the drink and barely managed to swallow any of it out  before it came rushing up my nose.


    The doctor immediately brought a handkerchief to my face and helped wipe me off.


    -Uh¡­ The Doctor says to drink slowly.-


    I nodded at him, understanding that, clearly, I shouldn¡¯t be downing hot liquids like a glass of milk.


    [You¡¯re a dummy, Darkie!]


    ¡°Sorry! Sorry! I thought it was a good idea¡­¡±


    Before long, the conversation between my companions and the Viscount was over. Having understood the situation, the Viscount offered me his hospitality until I could be reunited with my father. After this conclusion, my companions stood up and bowed to the Viscount in thanks which I quickly imitated.


    When it comes to thanks, etiquettes are pretty much universal.


    Pearl turned to me and smiled.


    -So I guess this is goodbye.-


    Uh? What does he mean by that?


    Nose bandage, kneeled down and hugged me tightly. Wait why is she¡­ Does that mean that¡­ They¡¯re leaving? Just like that? Without me?


    They¡¯ll come back right? No¡­ No if they were planning to come back, he wouldn¡¯t have said it that way¡­


    They are probably leaving. Probably from the town entirely like we did yesterday and the day before that.


    Why aren¡¯t they staying here? I could just ask the Viscount if¡­ No, that''s impossible.


    I couldn¡¯t even tell them I didn¡¯t want to see them leave, how could I ever ask a stranger for a favor?


    But how can  they just leave? I don¡¯t want that!


    I didn¡¯t even say goodbye to the others yet! What about Squirrel? She was so nice to me! And tattoos? I thought he was scary at first, but it turned out he was very smart and its thanks to him that we came here! And what about half-baldy and the twins? I didn¡¯t even have time to get to know them yet!


    As Nose-bandage released me, I felt a pit in my stomach. As if something was now missing.


    I wanted them to stay, but no matter how much my mind was running I couldn¡¯t find a way to tell them and it frustrated me. I looked up, hoping she would understand what I was feeling, but all I saw was a pearly white smile as she softly pat my hair.


    My eyes met hers and I understood she was truly happy for me. She wasn¡¯t bitter or even relieved, but happy in its most simplistic form. She was so happy, in fact, that her cheeks lifted her bandage ever so slightly, revealing a strange scar, but I didn¡¯t focus on that. I focused on her eyes and that feeling she conveyed.


    She wasn¡¯t sad we were being separated, nor frustrated, just glad I was finally going to be reunited with my dad. Why wasn¡¯t I feeling that right now? Why was I being so silly and stubborn?


    I shook head. I have to let go of this feeling. I don¡¯t want to be bitter about the way we leave each other. If there was one thing I wanted them to feel, is how thankful I am¡­ And there is one simple way of doing that.


    I jumped forward and hugged a surprised Nose-bandage as hard as my arms would allow. When I was done squeezing her, I went to Pearl who was still standing and opened my arms expectantly. He looked around confused for a moment as Nose-bandage prompted him to crouch down. It wasn¡¯t until I jumped and wrapped my arms around his chest that he understood and wrapped his arms around me as well.


    I was still sad about seeing my new friends go, but at least, I would now be able to look back on this moment as a happy memory.


    The Viscount and I then walked them to the door where a servant delivered them a pouch and a piece of paper which I assumed must have been a reward of sort.


    I also wish I could have given them something but I didn¡¯t have much to give¡­


    If I was older, I probably would have had some gold or even a signet, but right not, I only had the clothes on my back and I couldn¡¯t well give them Darkie. He would be very angry with me and I would miss him¡­


    Ah but there is a thing I can give!


    I ran  to them in a hurry just as they were about to leave through the door.


    They looked at me confused as I stood in front of them, looking around wildly for something.


    Ha¡­.


    It sounded like something they would like but I need¡­ Oh!


    I noticed a knife on the table by the door, probably usually used to clean boots, but it would do the job.


    I grabbed it. Everyone seemed to panick for a moment as I brought the tool close to my face, but it didn¡¯t stop me.


    With one sharp movement, I cut off a long tuff of my hai. I looked at the long pink strands in my hand for a moment before extending them toward my friends.


    On many occasion, they said I had very soft hair. I know it isn¡¯t much, but it was the least I could give them. Maybe something to remember me by at least.


    Nose-bandage looked confused for a moment, but then smiled. She delicately accepted the strands of hair I offered and placed them in Pearl¡¯s hand who also let a small smile appear from underneath his hood.


    He pat my head one last time and signed what I had wanted to tell.


    -Take care of yourself, Silika. We¡¯ll see you again!-

 63. A pink rose in a red field (Part 1)

    ¡°They¡¯ve found her?!¡±


    ¡°Yes,Halfway across the duchy at Khaln Lake!¡±


    I answered to Uncle Marlot as I hastily buckled my riding vest as I rushed for the stable.


    ¡°Khaln Lake? In Diid¡¯s name, how did she get there?¡±


    ¡°Who knows Uncle, but I need to make for Khaln yesterday¡±


    I said as I flung the stable doors open, waking up a stablehand who hurriedly went to fetch a horse.


    ¡°Aye, by Steihnner, that you do, son!¡±


    He said as he picked up a saddle and handed it to the stablehand who barely had time to set the mat on the horse¡¯s back before throwing on the saddle.


    ¡°I still can¡¯t believe it. I really thought that¡­¡±


    ¡°I know. Let¡¯s not talk about it anymore¡­¡±


    I said shaking my head as I finished strapping my bags to the horse.


    ¡°Aye¡­ Take care, son. Come back quickly.¡±


    I nodded and saddled up.


    Without another word, I departed into the darkness of the early morning.


    After our Caravan was attacked by the litter of Steihnnerkin Ferals two weeks ago. Everything had felt like a blur. Like a nightmare that wouldn¡¯t stop.


    -o-


    After learning of Silika¡¯s disappearance from Lieutenant Levish, I had left him in the care of my uncle and made for the carriage.


    On my way, I couldn¡¯t help, but notice the extent of the damage caused by the ambush. Although my uncle had reported only 6 dead, the amount of injured was extensive as well as the damage to the carriages themselves. We would have to make for a town as soon as possible if we didn¡¯t want the death toll to worsen, but I closed my eyes to my duties to my people for a moment, and focused on my duties as a father.


    When I arrived on the scene, it was worse than I thought, one of those poor sinner¡¯s corpse lay headless in front of the carriage which had been stormed through. Dark blood was splattered everywhere on the ground and carriage door


    Immediately, a horrible nausea took hold of me and I felt my knees going weak at the sight. I looked away feeling a horrible feeling in my guts. I doubled over trying my best to catch my breath, but this only accelerated the inevitable and I once more emptied my stomach.


    Blood so much blood. Lilika, I¡¯m¡­ I slapped my cheek.


    ¡°Keep it together, Marshall¡­¡±


    I whispered to myself sternly.


    I need to focus, I need to find Silika


    I wiped the corner of my mouth, I noticed another pile of vomit just feet away from the corpse.


    Silika¡­ It had to be hers. I had hoped she wouldn¡¯t have to see anything like this, yet¡­ I was slowly getting the picture of what might have happened, but where did she flee after this?


    ¡°You¡¯re having a lot of trouble keeping your meal down.


    I heard my uncle comment as he put a hand on my back.


    He looked down at the scene and grunted for a moment.


    ¡°Two ferals, but only one corpse.¡±


    He said with a sigh.


    ¡°Two?¡±


    I asked him to which he nodded.


    ¡°And no one has seen her since Levish?¡±


    He shook his head.


    ¡°No one from the way we came, but¡­¡±


    ¡°I¨C I saw da lady, m¡¯lord!¡±


    I immediately turned toward the voice. A young servant girl was standing unsteadily on her legs while staring at us. Ignoring the pool of blood separating us, I quickly rushed to her.


    ¡°Where? Where did you see my daughter? Is she safe?!¡±


    She looked startled for a moment, but managed stutter her way through.


    ¡°I¨C I uh¡­ I saw her running in that direction!¡±


    She said as she pointed toward the hills away from the road.


    ¡°She was being chased by one of those monsters¡­¡±


    I felt my jaw tighten. She was being chased by the other feral Marlot mentioned¡­ But¡­ Something was bothering me.


    ¡°She was being chased? When did you see that?¡±


    I asked her.


    ¡°Hum, a bit after the creatures attacked us, m¡¯lord¡­¡±


    I felt my brow twitch.


    ¡°And what exactly were you doing while my daughter was being chased?¡±


    I could barely repress the anger mounting in my voice.


    ¡°Uh.. I¨C I¨C I was uhm¡­¡±


    She stuttered nervously.


    ¡°You were?¡±


    ¡°I¨C I was hiding, m¡¯lord¡­¡±


    I snapped.


    ¡°You were hiding?!¡±


    She recoiled, in fear, but I continued.


    ¡°You saw a little girl, no more than 6 year old, MY daughter, and you hid?! By Seeir, I should have you¡­!¡±


    ¡°Marshall!¡±


    I heard Marlot bark as he forced his hand on my shoulder and gripped it strongly.


    It was only then that I realised my fist was raised as if I was about to strike


    Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.


    What am I doing?


    The girl in front of me may have been a servant, but she was just that, a girl. No more than 16, may be younger, frightened, tears rolling streaming down her face, blood splattered on her clothes from god knows where¡­ Or whom¡­


    I released the tension in my fists and slowly placed them down back at my sides as I took a deep breath.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­¡±


    Pathetic. I¡¯m pathetic. Theatening a servant girl barely more than half my age. I felt disgusted with myself.


    ¡°Thank you for your help, lass. Is there anything else you can tell us?¡±


    She still looked shocked, but shook away her torpor and gave a confused halfnod.


    ¡°Between that hill and rock, m¡¯lord. That¡¯s where I last saw her running.¡±


    She said in a shaky voice to which I nodded.


    ¡°Thank you. Rest now, you¡¯re knees look like they¡¯re about to give out.¡±


    ¡°I will, m¡¯lord. Thank you, m¡¯lord.¡±


    She turned away and quickly walked away toward a group of servants tending the injured.


    I let out a sigh as I stared toward the rock.


    I could feel the judging eyes of my uncle on me.


    ¡°Say what you must.¡±


    I simply said as I looked at him and braced myself


    For a moment he looked into my eyes with his usual intense expression, but then simply let out a sigh.


    ¡°I can¡¯t add anything that you haven¡¯t already told yourself.¡±


    I nodded and turned to the place the girl had indicated.


    ¡°Send out search parties, we need to find Silika as soon as possible. I¡¯ll be taking a horse.¡±


    ¡°None of our horses are used to these lands, son. They¡¯ll break their hooves.¡±


    ¡°Then I¡¯ll go on foot.¡±


    As I started walking away from the caravan toward the steppes I turned back.


    ¡°Have everyone else move out  as soon as possible, we¡¯ll meet back with you in the next town.¡±


    He nodded as  I set out for my search across the steppes of Lowland.


    In total, we had lost 10 of our people that day out of the 45 who had departed with us from Evergreen.


    An absurd number. It was difficult to even wrap my head around  the fact that we had lost almost a quarter of our people. The only saving grace was that out of them, 6 were soldiers who were able to receive a warrior¡¯s death, but that wouldn¡¯t be much of a consolation to their families.


    10 volunteers stayed back to help the search efforts, while the rest of the carriage departed.


    It wasn¡¯t until the next day that a clue was found at a nearby ruin.


    The scene was¡­ Strange to say the least. There was dark blood and gore and a collapsed wall, but, stangely, no corpses.


    At first, all we had to go on was the recent presence of a Feral Steihnnerkin, but then we discovered something familiar to me, the small black cube Silika was always carrying around. Her ferrous glass stone. Somehow, it seemed she had used it to topple the wall.


    As her father, I had moment of pride at realising what my daughter had achieved, but it was shortlived when I understood the implications.


    Seeing as there was no scarlet blood or trace of her clother, Silika had made it out unarmed, and this could only mean one of two things: either she had escaped the monsters entirely before it could move again and was hiding nearby¡­ Or she had been kidnapped.


    While the search party widened its search area, I regrouped with my with our caravan at a nearby town where they had found the hospitality of the local lord, Baron Geril.


    He was a meek looking man, but he was still a man of Steihnner and did not hesitate to lend us his aid.


    After consulting with him and uncle, we came to the conclusion that the likelihood of Silika having been kidnapped by the ferals was high and that the heretic threat couldn¡¯t be left to be.


    We sent word to Jilbeck¡¯s Crossing for reinforcement while scouts were sent out to find where thealleged nest.


    It wasn¡¯t long before we found trace of them. Although it hadn¡¯t been obvious to us as Norlanders, the hunters had been able to trace the blood trail left by the missing corpse from the ruins to a nearby cave.


    While we were waiting for reinforcement from Jilbeck¡¯s Crossing, the scouts were able to notice some seemingly normal individuals coming in and out of the cave. Going out into town to buy food or sell things¡­ Including spoils they had acquired during their raid on our caravan.


    We had promptly nabbed one of these individuals and brought them in for questioning.


    The man was¡­ Plain looking.  Round head, dull blue eyes, short red hair. If a child was to draw a man, this would probably what would come out.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry for bringing you here so suddenly.¡±


    Marlot began.


    Marlot was something of an experienced interogator. As opposed to southerners, the north rarely employed torture as a mean to acquire information. There was many reasons for it, but probably one of the greatest one would be that it would be considered dishonorable in a region so familiar with the teachings of the god of war.


    ¡°Not an issue at all, kind sir.¡±


    The man answered with a smile.


    He looked unusually calm for a man being interrogated. Actually, that might be slightly understating it, the man in front of us looked down right, comfortable sitting on his chair while facing us.


    ¡°My name is Marlot Dalar, and this is Marshall Ashbrook. We would like to ask you a few questions, mister¡­?¡±


    ¡°Call me Blue, and certainly!¡±


    I could almost see my Uncle¡¯s eyebrow twitch at the obviously faked name.


    ¡°Mister Blue then¡­ Where did you acquire the goods you sold in town today?¡±


    ¡°Oh that¡¯s my brothers. They gived me things to sell.¡±


    ¡°Your brothers you say? And where does your brother acquires them?¡±


    ¡°Oh probably by stealing from someone¡¯s home or robbing travellers I would guess. That¡¯s what they usually do.¡±


    I recoiled in disgust and I could tell Marlot resisted the urge to do the same. How could this man just calmly talk about this. I wanted to jump and punch is flat face in right this moment, but I knew I had to follow Marlot¡¯s lead and he was staying calm as calm as kinsmann.


    ¡°Theft you say? And where do you live?¡±


    I wanted to ask Marlot, why he was bothering with all those useless question, but to my surprise the man non-challantly said something .


    ¡°Oh! It¡¯s not far too far!¡±


    To our surprise, he then proceeded to gingerly describe the way to their nest. At first I thought it might be some sort of trap, but as Marlot asked more and more specific question, and the man continued to answer honestly.  I expected him to stop at any moment, or slip up and tell a lie, but everything was so detailed¡­ He explained that the cavern was actually an old buried castle that had been turned into their home.


    From the way he spoke, there were at least 40 of them living in there which explained why the ferals had all looked so malnourished. Feeding so many, mann or not, was a difficult task if you couldn¡¯t grow your own food. He gave us so much information that I could no longer hold my tongue.


    ¡°Why are you telling us all this, Blue?¡±


    The man turned to me with a confused expression on his face.


    ¡°Because you¡¯re asking me..?¡±


    ¡°You could just lie instead.¡±


    ¡°Oh no! I would never tell a lie! Mom would have been very disappointed if I did that.¡±


    I felt my blood run cold.


    ¡°Mom? Who¡¯s ¡®mom¡¯?¡±


    He frowned.


    ¡°Mom is mom. She¡¯s me and my brother¡¯s mom! She taught us how to walk and speak¡­ Well atleast  us older ones. She died two winters back and we¡¯ve been teaching the little ones ourselves. Our new mom can¡¯t do it , you see. She¡¯s too busy crying all the time. It does make me a whole lot of sad to see her like that, but dad says there¡¯s no helping it since she missed her home.¡±


    I felt a ball grow in my stomach as I put together the information he just threw at us.


    ¡°Wait, when you were talking about your brothers¨C I mean¡­ Your brothers, are they like¡­ you?¡±


    ¡°Oh no, not at all! Dad says I¡¯m ugly since I only have two arms and look like a sack of potato. Most of them have four arms and a couple horns. Jiggy had only had three arms, but that¡¯s because he lost it. I think he¡¯s dead now though since he was caught stealing.¡±


    Listening to the words coming out of his mouth as though they were the most natural thing in the world was¡­ Disturbing, to say the least.


    There was a sort of naivety to this man, the type one usually found in children, but the thing he said¡­


    Marlot finally cut in.


    ¡°How old are you, Blue?¡±


    He was thinking the exact same thing as I was


    We watched the man as he scratched his head uncertainly.


    ¡°Well I¡¯m one of the oldest, I can¡¯t be too sure, but I think I¡¯ve seen eight winters go by..?¡±


    I had to close my eyes for a moment to keep my composure. The man facing us was also a feral. He wasn¡¯t a naive man, he was a child in a man¡¯s body.


    I opened my eyes again to the dumbly smiling Blue.


    Although I should hate him, for what he his and what his ¡®brothers¡¯ did to my people, all I could feel for him right now was pity.


    ¡°Thank you, Blue. I think this will be it for now. Do you mind staying here for a little longer? We might have more questions for you later.¡±


    ¡°Of course, Mister Marlot! Mister Ashbrook.¡±


    He said with a wide smile.


    Without another word, my uncle stood up from his desk and opened the door, letting me leave the room first.


    He slowly closed the door before turning to me.


    ¡°We need to burn that place to the ground.¡±

 64. A pink rose in a red field (Part 2)

    We had interrogated ¡®Blue¡¯ the feral several more times for information, but as it turned out, he was not aware of the exact goings on of his home.


    I had tried to get information regarding Silika, but he simply retorted that he wouldn¡¯t know, since he hadn¡¯t been staying at the hideout much for the last few days as he was busy ferrying goods to and fro. By Blue¡¯s account, her being kidnapped would mean that she wouldn¡¯t be hurt as they only took back people either as ransom prisoners or to become new ¡®mothers¡¯...


    I tried to focus my mind on the prior. She was too young by all accounts for that, but the mere idea made my mind drift to the worst of places¡­


    The actual preparation for the mission was quite hasty, in other circumstances, a week or more would have been taken to plan, but as soon as reinforcement arrived from Jilbeck¡¯s Crossing, we had come to the the planning table.


    It was agreed that the raid would take place tomorrow at dawn. I hadn¡¯t slept in 3 days and I could feel my vision wavering as I stared at the planning table.


    All together, we had forty abled men and women who volunteered for the mission. Composed predominantly of Jillbeck¡¯s Crossing and my own garrison, as well as some local hunters and residents.


    At the centre of the table was a cube representing the entrance to the buried castle and at its south, a sharp mountain face. The original plan would have had bowmen stand at the ready on top of the hill to rain down on the enemy as the ferals came out of their hiding spot, but after Blue¡¯s interrogation and my own men¡¯s experience, we came to the conclusion at their tactics seemed to be based on ambush instead of outright confrontations. This meant that they were likely to retreat to the relative safety of their base.


    The idea of using smoke or gases like for rat dens had been considered, but as this doubled as a rescue mission, the risks were too high. Although we knew they were low on food, starving them out was also out of question for that same reason.


    Our last remaining option was an all out assault, but this carried the most risks.


    I gazed up from the board toward my comrades. In truth, I didn¡¯t even properly register the garrison leader¡¯s name due to my sleep-deprived state, and so, I simply referred to him as ¡®Captain¡¯.


    ¡°So what¡¯s your opinion, Captain? Can your men handle this sort of close quarter combat?¡±


    The man scratched his greying beard as he stared the board.


    ¡°I believe they are aptly equipped, but I¡¯m worried about the rest of our troops. My men can¡¯t take them all on their own and the volunteers won¡¯t be able to make much use of their bow indoors.¡±


    I turned to my uncle.


    ¡°Thoughts?¡±


    He nodded.


    ¡°We spring clean.¡±


    Marlot then explained the details of what he had in mind. After going over what the strategies entailed, I left the room exhausted.


    My mind was more troubled than it had been for a long time.


    I could feel the heavy thuds in my chest and every thought running through my mind felt coated in molasses. It hurt to think, as, no matter what, my mind inevitably went back to one thing.


    Silika.


    Every moment since her disappearance, my mind has been filled with horrible thoughts about what might have happened to her. Thoughts I wouldn¡¯t even be able to put into words. Horrible, disgusting, the mere fact that they came to me made me feel repulsed with myself.


    I was grasping at the hope that she was being treated well and only kept as a hostage, but every hour we didn¡¯t receive any type of ransom, made me doubt this pragmatic outcome.


    The familiar hand of my uncle placed itself on my shoulder.


    ¡°You¡¯ve been standing here for a while now.¡±


    I turned to him. His expression was unscruitable as ever. For a man with such expressive features, it was a wonder how he was so adept at disguising his thoughts.


    ¡°I must have spaced out.¡±


    I said pitifully. Not even having the energy to come up with a proper excuse.


    ¡°That you have.¡±


    He looked at me for a moment before speaking again.


    ¡°It will be alright.¡±


    He simply said, but the words somehow made me feel worse.


    ¡°I know, I know. It¡¯ll be fine, Silika will be alright and we¡¯ll be on our way to Clotop to¡­¡±


    ¡°No.¡±


    He interrupted me before letting out a sigh.


    ¡°Sometimes, I forget how young you are, barely any older than my own son and daughter. Perhaps it is a parent¡¯s curse to never feel as though we have imparted enough of our wisdom to our children, or maybe it¡¯s because you were so young when you left for the battlefield¡­ But there is still much for you to learn, not only about the world, but about yourself.¡±


    He released my shoulder and motioned me to follow him.


    Although slightly annoyed at his condescending words, I followed him. Marlot, if nothing else, was a wise man. Only my cousin was fooling enough to dismiss him.


    As we leaned against the wooden balustrade he began speaking again.


    ¡°We mann are the recipients to a curse. Through our mortal condition, we are victims of the eternal dance of the gods. Life and death, love and hate, order and chaos. Through the way the gods designed this world, we are bound to suffer endlessly the result of their design. We are all blessed with life, but will inevitably experience death. We are all bound to experience love, but just as well, we are bound to lose it. We strive for a perfect life, but we will never fully experience it.¡±


    He took a deep breath and turned to me.


    ¡°We¡¯ve all learned of these things in church so many times over, but many of us forget what this truly means. Although we are all bound to suffer, we are equally bound to experience happiness. In the day-to-day life of us small creatures, life may seem unfair and difficult, but we must remember to not let it get the better of us. There is light at the end of this tunnel...¡±


    Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.


    Marlot raised himself and stretched.


    ¡°...But we must continue to believe that there is something waiting for us, for when we accept our fate and give up, that is when the dance of the gods will reach its end and our soul will return to the immaterium.¡±


    He turned to me.


    ¡°From the bottom of my heart, from my soul of soul, I believe that Silika will be alright, because if I don¡¯t, then there is no chance that she will be.¡±


    With those words, he left.


    I remained there for a moment, gazing out at the stars.


    ¡°I must believe that Silika will be alright¡­¡±


    It felt foolish somehow. As though I was supposed to trick myself into believing a lie, but I shook myself.


    It¡¯s only a lie if I believe it¡¯s a lie¡­


    I can¡¯t say I slept soundly that night, but I slept. Which was more than I had done for the three prior days.


    The sun had yet risen when we departed for the steppes as the scouts led us toward the entrance to the lair.


    Despite what I had been told through their reports, this place felt¡­ Underwhelming. It was a simple hole in the dirt, wild grasses grew around it making it almost imperceptible at a glance. It was probably how they had avoided detection for so long while still being at such a close distance from civilization.


    Marlot raised his hand and immediately the men arranged themselves into two lines. Two archers moved forward as we walked down silently toward the cave entrance and released arrows into the dark. Although I hadn¡¯t seen what they had shot, I could hear the surprised gasp of the victims. We closed the distance and found the sentry, dead at the entrance with two arrows piercing its body.


    I couldn¡¯t help but glance at its twisted corpse, how absurd and corrupted it looked¡­ Yet somehow pitiful in its diminutive size and emaciated form.


    I almost felt an ounce of sympathy for its cursed existence, but I shielded my heart as I looked up from the corpse and continued my way deeper into the cavern.


    As the men lit up their torches, I was relieved to discover that Blue¡¯s information had turned out to be true. The cavern eventually led to a broken stone wall beyond which laid the remains of a buried castle.


    The halls were empty although we could hear voices echoing in the distance distance. We walked slowly and eventually, the men reached the a door.The first knight placed his hand on the handle and looked back at Marlot who simply nodded.


    With that, he opened the door and 5 of them stormed the room before closing the door behind them. Some sound could be heard from beyond, obviously, they¡¯d encountered someone or something, but a simple 2 knocks sounded on the door. The signal that they were handling it.


    We continued on the corridor and repeated this process multiple times, at first it worked well, but eventually, some of the ferals were able to scream out and their curious breathren started poking their head out of doors and by the time we reached the main hall, we were swarmed by all sides.


    Luckily, it was all according to our expectations and the soldiers quickly cleared out the room in order to take control of the central area. The soldiers who had stayed back clearing out the previous room rejoined us and we were able to establish a perimeter.


    The battle was won, now it was mostly a matter of proceeding with the ¡®spring cleaning¡¯ Marlot had talked about. They would be hiding, hoping to catch us off guard, but we wouldn¡¯t let them.


    So far the attack was a success with no casualties, but the real danger was still to come.


    We had lost the element of surprise and every second they would be mounting greater resistance¡­ And most worryingly still no sign of Silika or the so-called ¡®mothers¡¯.


    Marlot, who had finished giving out orders to properly establish the perimeter, met back with me toward the centre of the room and began eyeing the same door as I was. It was central and large.


    He and I were probably thinking the same thing.


    All the creatures we had met until now, the ones we called ferals, were in fact only bastards of one progenitor. The true heretic at the heart of this operation, the one who had gone against the gods and made these bastards, was probably standing right on the other side of this door.


    I looked down at my sword, still clean. I don¡¯t know if it was cowardice or luck, but it hadn¡¯t struck a single enemy yet. The idea somehow terrified me, the sight of blood, its scent, watching as the life drained from their face¡­


    I took a deep breath. I had to do this. I had to protect Silika.


    I turned to Marlot who nodded meaningfully, we approached the door where three other men were already waiting for us.


    I gripped the rusting iron handle and flung the heavy wooden door open.


    The first thing that came over me was the stench.


    It was indescribable. It wasn¡¯t a good smell, but it wasn¡¯t pungent or particularly stomach-churning. It was simply the smell of something wrong. Like the smell of smoke in a cave or blood in a bakery.


    As my eyes adjusted to the darkness and the flickering light reached deeper into the chamber, I didn¡¯t know how to react. Saying that the room was covered in a mix of flesh and iron would have been making light of the scene in front of us.


    Scattered about were half-formed things. Things that looked like men and like blades, but all of it incongruous and misshapen, like the poor souls that we had slaughtered today, but somehow more raw¡­ And there was something or maybe someone, in here. I could feel its anger, its thirst for blood, yet I couldn¡¯t see them.


    It wasn¡¯t until it moved that I realised he was in fact the one we had been looking for.


    his body was draped in long stained canvas, beneath which patchy scarlet skin could be seen with 2 large horns protruding from his skull and countless limbs poking out of all sides of his body¡­


    The heretic. He looked¡­ Grotesque¡­ But the word couldn¡¯t even convey how disturbing the sight was. It wasn¡¯t simply abnormal, it was impossible.


    I watched as six hands gripped the chair handle, only to slowly push himself up.


    I raised my sword, but that was in nought as it simply took the chair and slung it in our direction with the strength of ten men.


    I only narrowly avoided the attack by diving to the floor and was horrified to find the chair had been turned into splinters.


    I turned back to the cmonster just as one of the knights sweeped his sword at the him, but the warlock¡¯s hands simply grasped the sword before it could make impact and crushed it into pieces making them fly out across the room. He then slowly started rotating toward the right.


    When I understood it was preparing to hit the man, I tried to get up to intervene, but Marlot was faster.


    With a roar he rammed into the creature with his shoulder throwing it off balance long enough to allow for the knight to retreat.


    The hands grasped for his body, but Marlot was able to invoke a blessing fast enough to shield himself, but that didn¡¯t stop the creatures from trying to pummel him which Marlot could do very little to protect himself other than protect his body as much as his shield would allow, but the denting was becoming more extensive by the second.


    As the creature focused its attack on Marlot, I noticed the arms rearranging themselves forward to focus on Marlot, leaving its back exposed.


    Using his distraction, I slowly made my way behind the creatures and then focused all my thoughts on the tip of my sword before rushing forward.


    It went through.


    It slid and knocked against impossible bones, but by some miracles it slipped all the way through until the hilt of my sword was right against his scarlet skin.


    He let out what a scream of pain. A strangely mann-like scream.


    As it begun thrashing about, I released my sword while it tried to grip the blade in vain as the strength in its arm weakened and the pool of blood grew beneath him.


    He bled a lot. Too much. It was illogical, inhumane.


    Lilika¡­ She bled like that as¡­


    Before finishing the thought I began hurling.


    ¡°Marshal! Are you¡­¡±


    I waved him off and wiped the corner of my mouth.


    ¡°I¡¯m fine.¡±


    I then pointed to the heretic.


    His body had somehow deflated. The arms that moved across his skin so grotestly up until now hung limply like excess skin, yet it continued screaming.


    ¡°You imbeciles! You ruined it! You ruined it all!¡±


    Marlot spat on the ground.


    ¡°You got what you deserved, you filth!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re a fool! You¡¯ve all been fooled! The gods will take everything from you and leave you to rot! We must fight it, we can''t let their laws control u¡­¡±


    Marlot ran a sword through the warlock¡¯s throat.


    ¡°May this poor sinner find a fair judgement in Solomon¡¯s embrace.¡±


    Marlot quietly prayed before removing the sword from its throat.


    The room fell in an odd silence and in the silence, when we heard a light whimpering sound.


    ¡°Silika!¡±


    I rushed toward the sound and found a door toward the back of the room, but what I found was not Silika.


    It was the mother.

 65. A pink rose in a red field (Part 3)

    The woman was sitting in the centre of the room crying uncontrollably as she held unto a deformed baby.


    When I saw its twisted and broken face, I knew it was¡­ gone.


    Even in the shallow light of the candles of the room, I could tell she must have given birth to it only hours ago.


    I looked around, to see if anyone else was here with her, but she was on her own. Silika wasn¡¯t here. Which was a relief of sorts. If she had seen what happened in this room¡­ I don¡¯t think any words in the world could have ever consoled her.


    I slowly approached the woman, I couldn¡¯t leave her like this even if she wasn¡¯t the one I came for.


    Her eyes shot up when she heard me and she grasped the child defensively. I stopped in my tracks.


    ¡°It¡¯s okay!¡±


    I tried to say reassuringly.


    ¡°I¡¯m a friend! I¡¯m here to take you out of here!¡±


    She didn¡¯t say anything, her eyes were hazy as she looked at me with a terrified expression.


    I extended my hand, but she recoiled shielding her child.


    ¡°Don¡¯t worry! The evil man is gone, he can¡¯t hurt you anymore. Let¡¯s go.¡±


    I tried to say reassuringly.


    ¡°B¨C But! My baby...!¡±


    I felt as though a bucket of ice water ran through my veins as she showed the remains of the infant.


    I could feel emotions welling up within me, but if I let them out right now, I don¡¯t think she would ever speak again.


    I closed my eyes for a second to composed myself.


    When I opened them again I looked straight at her with the most genuine smile I could muster.


    ¡°I¡¯ll take care of him.¡±


    I said as I extended my arms.


    Every nerve in my body were screaming to withdraw my hands, but I held strong as the woman looked at me with a dazed expression.


    Almost as if in a trance, she handed me the baby.


    When I felt the weight in my arms my mind went blank.


    Suddenly it didn¡¯t matter that it had horns or that it had 4 arms. What mattered was that it was a child. A child whose life had been extinguished much before its time.


    This feeling¡­ This moment of holding a child for the first time¡­


    ¡°No, Marshal! That¡¯s not how you do it! You¡¯ll hurt her neck!¡±


    Lilica scolded me.


    ¡°Her? What if it¡¯s a boy?¡±


    I said in a playful tone, much to her annoyance.


    She snatched the doll from my arms.


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t matter right now! You have to learn how to hold our baby properly if you want to be a good father.¡±


    She said with a sigh.


    ¡°And it¡¯s a her, I just know it¡­¡±


    She said with a pout to which I raised my hands in defeat.


    ¡°Alright! Alright! She¡¯s a girl. Just don¡¯t come to me crying when it turns out it¡¯s a boy!¡±


    I said with a chuckle to which she growled in annoyance.


    Still smiling, I slid along the bed and came to sit right beside her. I placed my hand on the growing bump under her robe.


    ¡°Have you thought of a name?¡±


    I asked her as I once more borrowed the doll while she moved my arms in the correct position.


    ¡°Nuhuh. I decided we should wait!¡±


    ¡°Wait? What for?¡±


    ¡°Well, what if we named her Melisia and once we see her face for the first time she looks like a Catherine? No, no, no! That would be too sad! We should wait until she¡¯s here.¡±


    She said with a confident expression.


    Evidently she had given the question a lot of thought.


    ¡°But what if you fall asleep? The midwife said that giving birth can be very exhausting, shouldn¡¯t we have a name just in case?¡±


    ¡°No! Absolutely not! If that happens you give her a name!¡±


    She said with an angry pout which made me chuckle.


    ¡°Then maybe, I¡¯ll call her Lilica, just like her mother.¡±


    ¡°No you can¡¯t do that! I would neve be able to face anyone again!¡±


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    She said slapping my shoulder angrily.


    The midwife had explained to me that pregnant women often were angrier than usual, but for Lilica who had never had much of a temper in the first place, these moment of anger were little more than childish outburst which never failed to make me chuckle.


    Because of that, I hadn¡¯t been able to stop myself from constantly teasing her.


    ¡°Okay! Okay! I give up! I give up!¡±


    I said while laughing.


    ¡°Then what about a name that¡¯s similar?¡±


    She looked at me dubiously.


    ¡°Like what?¡±


    I looked down at the doll, considering her porcelain feature as I racked my brain for a name.


    ¡°Well, what about¡­¡±


    ¡°...Silika.¡±


    The words echoed against the stone walls.


    Lilica was gone and so was the doll, instead the remains of the infant replaced it and it¡¯s mother still sitting on the floor, bloodied.


    ¡°...That¡¯s a pretty name.¡±


    The mother said in a broken voice.


    I nodded and extended a hand toward her which she carefully accepted.


    ¡°It¡¯s my daughter¡¯s.¡±


    She stood unsteadily on her leg and so I gave her my empty arm for her to lean on.


    ¡°That¡¯s nice¡­ I never had a daughter. Only¡­¡±


    As she began saying this, her eyes glanced at my arms where it landed on the baby and her lips became sealed once again.


    She needs to get out of here soon.


    Marlot was waiting for me right outside the door. He delicately took charge of the remains without showing any emotions while another soldier helped support the woman who was about to collapse.


    I signaled for the man to escort the woman out while I stayed back with Marlot.


    He delicately placed the remains on a piece of cloth and wrapped them up while uttering a prayer.


    Once the woman was out of earshot I spoke to him.


    ¡°Silika wasn¡¯t there.¡±


    He nodded.


    ¡°I know.¡±


    He produced a diary and handed it to me.


    ¡°She isn¡¯t here. She never was.¡±


    I felt my heart sink.


    Silika isn¡¯t here.


    ¡°So none of this even mattered in the first place¡­¡±


    ¡°No, Marshal. What we did today might be one of the most important thing a man can do in his lifetime.¡±


    He said as he placed his heavy hand on my shoulder.


    ¡°There is no saying what would have happened if we hadn¡¯t come here. More people could have been killed. More women would have exprienced what this poor girl went through and whose to say what would have happened if this lunatic had achieved his goal? No, what we did today may very well have saved the entire kingdom.¡±


    I felt anger well up in my chest.


    I pushed his hand away from my shoulder.


    ¡°I don¡¯t care about no gods damned kingdom! I want to see know my daugther is safe!¡±


    I scream out.


    I heard the sound of knights scuttling away. I wanted to scream at them too, but refrained. It wasn¡¯t their fault.


    ¡°I know, Marshall, that the pain you¡¯re experiencing right now is more than anyone could ever sympathise with, but this is good news. If she was never here, it means that she¡¯s somewhere out there, it¡¯s not too late, she must be safe.¡±


    I wanted to dismiss him, but I couldn¡¯t. Silika not being here meant she hadn¡¯t witnessed the horrors of this place, it meant that she must have escaped somehow from these bastards¡­ The anger welled up inside me once more and I put my hand on my sword once more, but Marlot stopped me.


    ¡°No, Marshall. You¡¯ve done enough, you should head out and take care of that girl.¡±


    ¡°What?! But..!¡±


    ¡°Marshall. Look at your hand.¡±


    Confused I looked down.


    Vomit and dried blood stained the glove. It was trembling. Just staring at it made me feel ill.


    ¡°You''re in no condition to fight. You need to rest. You¡¯ve done your part.¡±


    Reluctantly I nodded.


    Istarted walking away toward the entrance of this acursed castle.


    ¡°Marshall¡­¡±


    He called out to me again.


    I was starting to feel irritated with the way he called out my name, but still turned to him.


    He was silent for a moment, simply staring at me.


    ¡°I¡­ Know why you¡¯re shaking. I know it¡¯s not because of Silika.¡±


    I felt my jaw tightened.


    How could he not? A soldier who can¡¯t even stomach a little bit of¡­


    ¡°If you ever need to talk, I¡¯m always there.¡±


    He said before turning away.


    I grunted.


    I felt pathetic. How could I claim to be able to protect anyone if I couldn¡¯t even control my own body?


    With those thoughts, I began the long way up the corridor leading to the outside world. Midway, I encountered the knight still helping the woman walk.


    Needing to feel useful, I took over from the knight and picked up the woman from her feet and carried her in my arms instead.


    She was light, obviously underweight from malnutrition like the rest of the residents in this place.


    ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡±


    I asked her casually.


    Both of us could probably use some distraction.


    ¡°Sarah¡­¡±


    ¡°Sarah? What a pretty name!¡±


    ¡°Thanks¡­ What about yours?¡±


    ¡°You can call me Marshall. Marshall Ashbrook.¡±


    ¡°Ashbrook? That¡¯s a big lastname. Are you a noble?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right, I¡¯m a baron and soon to be Count.¡±


    ¡°Wow a Count!¡±


    She let out a dry laugh


    ¡°Never did I think I would be rescued from a warlock by a Handsome nobleman. I feel like a princess in a fairytale right now¡­ ¡±


    I smiled sadly at her words.


    Fairytales always had had a tendency to romanticise the truth¡­


    ¡°I used to thing I¡¯d get carried like this on my wedding day¡­ But, I don¡¯t think I can still get married after this...¡±


    She said in a sad tone.


    ¡°Oh, don¡¯t say that! I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll find someone who will do right by you!¡±


    She smiled sadly.


    ¡°You¡¯re just saying that, my lord. But don¡¯t worry, I don¡¯t think I want to get married after all this.¡±


    She turned away probably in a vain attempt to hide her tears.


    I couldn¡¯t blame her.


    After having experienced what she had, It¡¯s a miracle she could even trust a man such as myself to even be close to her, let alone¡­


    ¡°I understand. I promise things will get better from now on¡­ And please, just Marshall. You¡¯re a princess.¡±


    She let out another dry laugh.


    ¡°Ah that¡¯s right, almost forgot. I¡¯ll hold you to your word, Marshall.¡±


    She said before turning silent.


    We finally reached the exit and as the rays of the morning sun washed over us, I heard the girl, Sarah, gasp.


    I looked down, worried, but she was simply staring up at the sky in awe as tears streamed down her face.


    ¡°Are you okay?¡±


    I asked her.


    She closed her eyes and shook her head softly.


    ¡°I think I just¨C I think I forgot how warm the world could be.¡±

 66. Reunion

    As I spent more time in this household, I couldn¡¯t help but question the strange feeling in my chest. It has been a few days, now, that I¡¯ve arrived at the Prnm household and I can say without a doubt that this is the most uncomfortable I¡¯ve felt in a long long time.


    It wasn¡¯t just the fact that I couldn¡¯t speak with anyone or that people were rude to me, there had been plenty of that in the orphanage.


    It was more a feeling of emptiness. As though no one really trully lived here. An empty shell of sort where the people only existed temporarily.


    I was free to roam the place as I wish and yet never did I encounter more than two people in the same room and even then, they barely ever did more than exchange silent greetings with each others. It was more reminiscent to a church library than it was of a house.


    Although it wasn¡¯t that they were rude to me. They brought me meals three times a day and I could ring a bell anytime I needed something¡­ Although getting exactly what I wanted was sometime a bit of a challenge¡­.


    And to top it off, there was the worst part of the day.


    Every night I had diner with the viscount, although that was far from the highlight of my day. We simply ate silently. Sometime he would glance up, show a dull smile before returning to his food, sending shivers down my spine


    His expression bothered me. I couldn¡¯t shake-off the memory of his brother, the man with a slit for a mouth. It felt as though if he was to smile ever so slightly more, his mouth would grow larger and larger until it engulfed his entire face¡­ And then he would turn into that snake-like man¡­


    I knew it was absurd. Judging a man by his appearance is against everything that I had ever been thought since leaving my past life behind, but I couldn¡¯t shake-off my experience that day. I had felt as though I had been confronted with a monster, but not the type who had attacked me that day I was separated from my dad. Those monsters could be slain.


    No, the snake man was felt much more than that¡­ A true monster.


    But the viscount didn¡¯t feel like that, didn¡¯t look like that either.


    He looked lonely, in a way, but not in the same way I felt right now.


    I felt lonely because I missed my dad and my friends. His loneliness was different. It looked hollow. As though he didn¡¯t even realise and in so doing, must have though it was fine to feel that way.But it wasn¡¯t something I could do anything about. After and before food time, He simply disappeared into his office, the only room to be locked behind key.


    Outside of meal time, I spent my first few days just walking about, but as it was a pretty drab house to begin with and I had quickly grown bored of it.


    With no one to play with and nothing to do, I had started spending my time in the library.


    I don¡¯t know why, but this specific room felt less suffocating than the rest of the house. It felt lived-in and busy despite being completely and utterly empty.


    The butler, having noticed I spent a lot of time there, must have assumed that I enjoyed reading and brought me a selection of book, I assume were supposed to be easy enough for me to read¡­


    Although they really weren¡¯t.


    My reading skills were horrible at the best of time, it was more guess work than actually understanding what each of those symbols were mean to mean.


    [M¨C M¡­ Mrkas¨C Mrkasr?]


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t sound like a word¡­ Maybe it¡¯s a name?¡±


    [You might be right¡­ So would the next word be one too? Like a family name? Bathrn doesn¡¯t sound familiar.]


    ¡°Maybe it means Bathroom?¡±


    [Why would the knight need a bathroom?¡±


    ¡°He looked very tired on the previous page, so maybe he really needed to go and now he¡¯s happy?¡±


    [I¡¯m not sure they write books about that kind of things Darkie¡­]


    As i raised my eyes back from Darkie towards the book, I noticed a maid had entered the room and was trying to get my attention.


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    She bowed politely and indicated the door with her hand.


    Was it already time for lunch? I hadn¡¯t realise so much time had already gone by. They do say time goes by fast when you¡¯re having fun¡­ Maybe I enjoy this whole reading thing more than I realised?


    I nodded and carefully stood up from the ground.


    I headed downstairs but instead of being led to the diningroom, I was led to the main hall and just as we rounded the corner I was able to peak into the waiting room and saw him.


    Lionheart.


    Dad.


    I was so shocked, that I froze.


    Somewhere in my mind, I had given up on the idea of us ever seeing each other again.


    Something in my head had said that perhaps he had given up. Accepted that I simply disappeared amongst the hills that day¡­ Another part of me was much less kind.


    It said that dad never loved me in the first place. That I had simply been a toy, a temporary distraction, a replacement for his wife and daughter¡­ And now that I was gone, he would simply replace me this time.


    Find another orphan. Maybe with white hair like his wife this time, or red like his.


    One that could hear things and knew how to read.


    One that wouldn¡¯t cry over every little thing.


    One that would smile brighter.


    One who would act kinder.


    A good daughter.


    But when I looked at him right now¡­ My gaze lazed on his face.


    He looked tired. Dark circles hung underneath his golden eyes, creases had formed on his forehead and the skin of his cheek look taunt.


    He looked tired. Sick.


    A strange feeling was enveloping my chest.


    Suddenly, Lionheart turned his head and our eyes finally met.


    Neither of us moved, as though we had become stranger in the few weeks we had been separated. The feelin in my chest started to turn heavy and sour.


    My eyes felt heavy and itchy.


    Perhaps he really hadn¡¯t cared about me, and this was all¡­


    But then, I felt the world that had felt so big and empty until a moment ago shrunk and wrapped me up in a tender embrace.


    It was dad. He hugged me so tight, I could feel all my worries, all my insecurities dissipate.


    I was such a fool. A stupid untrusting fool.


    Of course dad loves me.


    He told me so many times, he proved it in so many ways and yet here, I had stood as though we were strangers. What a dumb stupid daughter I am¡­


    I squeezed him as hard as I could as he lifted me into his arms.


    [I missed you so much!]


    I whispered into his shoulder.


    And though I knew he couldn¡¯t actually understand my words, I felt that I understood me as he continued holding me.


    After our reunion it took a few days for Lionheart to recover from his journey to this place and during that time, he told me about everything that had happened during my time traveling with the troupe.


    He told me all about the horrible monster that attacked us were actually part of a flock of warlocks and how he had thought they had kidnapped me and how they had stormed their castle and saved a woman from the evil master of the place.


    I wanted him to tell me more, but he was hazy on the details.


    Instead, he wanted to know what I had been doing all this time.


    I told him about my escape from the monsters, my failed plan, but then my encounter with my new friends.


    I told him about how we travelled from town to town, how I saw new things every day, how I saw their performances dozens of times, the adventures exploring old ruins, and everything else.


    He asked question all along, curious about my friends and how I had fared throughout my journey.


    -And what happened to your hair?-


    He finally asked at the end of my story.


    -I gave it to my friends!-


    -Your friends?-


    I nodded.


    -I wanted them to have something to remember me by.-


    An amused smiled drew itself on his lips.


    -Well¡­ I guess that¡¯s very kind of you. But don¡¯t give out your hair like that too often or you¡¯ll go bald.-


    A few days later, he had recovered enough for us to depart.


    As we were saying our goodbyes to the viscount, this one interrupted the moment to dig something out of his pocket and handed it to me.


    Curious I looked and was surprised to find the signet I had given him when I arrived here.


    He said a few words before giving a nobleman¡¯s bow.


    -The viscount says that the Prnm family will always welcome you to their homes, whether in time of needs or of leisure.-


    I nodded at Lionheart¡¯s explanation before grasping the signet in my hand and giving a curtsy.


    It¡¯s strange to say, but I developed a form of respect for the Viscount. He was cold and lonely, but somehow healwayt maintained a sort of composure.


    I don¡¯t know if it was pride or family honour that drove it, but not only did he offer me shelter, food and protection, he also made sure my father would find me, and for that I was grateful.


    Allthough his face still bothered me, especially when I was reminded of his so called brother¡­


    We entered the carriage and I watched as the distance between us and this odd place grew. I turned to dad and looked at him happily.


    -So we¡¯re heading home now?-


    He smile and nodded.


    -We¡¯ll be heading there soon, but first, we must rejoin with everyone else. We¡¯re heading for an old friend of Mine¡¯s. Count Aremein of Jillbeck¡¯s Crossing.-

 67. The Count

    -We¡¯re almost at Jilbeck¡¯s Crossing.-


    I blinked a few times as I realized dad was signing to me.


    I smiled; it was all I could muster in my current condition.


    It only been a few days since Lionheart and I had reunited and we had been on the road ever since, but things hadn¡¯t gone has smoothly as I had hoped.


    Maybe it was because I had spent so much time riding a horse and walking around instead of being inside of a carriage, I had become acquainted with something called ¡®motion-sickness¡¯.


    Every bump on the road, every steep incline and every rough stop made my stomach turn and my head spin. Dad found it very strange, especially since I had experienced none of these symptoms even during the weeks we had spent on the road.


    I had tried several remedies like chewing ginger roots, but it didn¡¯t do much to help. He kept apologising for not bringing the medicine from the city along when he came to get me.


    -I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll like it here. Count Armein is very fun and will definitely keep us entertained. I was also told that their young niece is staying over, so maybe you two can be friends?-


    I simply shrugged at the notion. Friends were really at the bottom of my list of priorities right now.


    I looked out the window. At least, the view was different when I looked out the windows. Much of our journey through Lowland had been through rocky hills,  long grasses and spare patches of forests, but here, the trees grew thick and a dark green. They had a smell to them that I couldn¡¯t quite describe.


    When the carriage crossed the city gate, I realised just how far we had come.There weren¡¯t any tall stone houses like Evergreen, nor were there short wooden huts present everywhere in the rest of Lowland. Here, the houses were made of long wooden beams, painted in all sorts of colour.


    It was strange to say¡­ But it gave me a similar feeling to the library at the Prnm mansion.A warm and relaxing atmosphere.


    After a while, the carriage finally came to a stop.


    I let out a sigh of relief as the driver opened the door and offered his hand which I accepted.


    Finally back on solid ground, I stretched my legs and glanced up at our destination. It looked more like a castle than a home but instead of heavy stones, it was made entirely of wooden beams.


    It was a truely impressive to look at and I couldn¡¯t help wondering where they had found such large wood planks. Were there truly trees that tall?


    After a moment of waiting a maid dressed in a burgundy and light blue outfit came to greet us. After a short exchange between my father and her, she led us inside to an elaborately decorated hall.


    Waiting for us were standing the count and two women who all had pleasant smiles on their face.


    I remembered dad telling me the count¡¯s niece would be here too, but¡­ Well neither of the girls looked like children, maybe he got her age wrong?


    We walked right up to them and then all eyes fell on me.


    It took me a moment to realise that, as the youngest, I was expected to initiate the greetings¡­


    And, if I remembered Stash¡¯s teaching properly, I should be greeting the person holding the highest rank first. So¡­ the Count!


    I turned to him and curtsied with my head bowed as graciously as my still shaky legs allowed me.


    When I lifted my head once more, I was confused to see that the man was chuckling while saying something to who I assume must have been his wife at his side. I looked back at dad who made a complicated smile.


    -Uhm¡­ This is the Count.-


    He said as he pointed to the woman in the middle.


    I blinked a few times confused. Embarrassed, I turned to the ¡®Count¡¯ and performed another curtsy as my cheeks turned red.


    I felt a mixture of confusion, humiliation and annoyance.


    Why didn¡¯t dad tell me the ¡®Count¡¯ was a girl?! Can girls even be Count? Wouldn¡¯t it be Countess??


    After pulling back from my bow, I gave a swift kick at my dad¡¯s shin out of anger.


    It earned me a glare from him, but I didn¡¯t care, I avoided his eyes which seemed to amuse our hosts. After seeing I wouldn¡¯t even look at his hands, Lionheart gave up and the four adults then began talking to each other.


    At first, I simply ignored them, still feeling annoyed, but as the conversation dragged on, I started feeling bored and grew curious.


    -Dad, what are you talking about?-


    I asked, but he didn¡¯t respond.


    -Dad! What are you guys talking about?-


    I asked again as I pulled on his sleeve, but he still didn¡¯t look down.


    Is he¡­ Ignoring me?


    But why? He never ignores me!


    I looked  at the other adults, but they didn¡¯t look down either.


    Why is everyone ignoring me?


    Are they angry at me?


    Stash said that it¡¯s important to greet the right person first or it might be taken as an insult¡­ Does that mean they are angry at me because I insulated them?


    But it¡¯s dad¡¯s fault!


    I didn¡¯t know!


    I don¡¯t want them to hate me! If they hate me, dad will also start to hate me and then everyone will hate me!


    Before I realised what was going on, I felt my eyes itch.


    Why is dad ignoring me?


    Why did he play such a mean joke?


    Why didn¡¯t he tell me?


    Now everyone will hate me! I hate this! I hate all of it!


    As these thoughts whirled through my head, tears came pouring out of my eyes and snot from my nose as I began sobbing.


    Dad panicked, and in an instant he picked me up and held me against his chest.


    I would still have been angry, but I was so relieved that he wasn¡¯t ignoring me anymore that I just kept crying in his arms.


    Was he still angry? I was angry first, but¡­


    I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly as the tears continued pouring out.


    Dad quickly concluded things with our hosts and a butler lead us through the corridors.


    I kept crying until we finally reached our room. He sat me on the bed and waited until the butler left.


    He took a knee and lowered himself so our eyes could meet, but I looked away.


    I felt as though I would start crying again if I looked at his face right now and I was stil a bitl angry with him.


    -Silika¡­-


    I saw him sign from the corner of my eye.


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.


    -Silika, look at me.-


    I resisted the urge to follow his instructions, but  after a moment of hesitation I complied.


    As my eyes met his, I felt my bottom lip trembling again.


    -I¡¯m sorry for ignoring you earlier, that was mean of me, but you can¡¯t just kick people. Do you understand?-


    Uh?


    Kicking?


    Oh, I did do that didn¡¯t I¡­


    Seeing my lack of response he continued.


    -Even if someone ignores you. Even if you¡¯re really really angry, you can¡¯t hit people. You might think it¡¯s no big deal, but you could injure someone. You¡¯re still small now, but eventually you¡¯re going to get bigger and before you know it, you¡¯ll be strong enough to hurt someone, and by the time you realise it, it will be too late. Do you understand what I¡¯m saying, Silika?-


    I understood, what he was trying to get at¡­


    It had always been a rule everywhere I¡¯d been, whether at the orphanage, or back ¡®there¡¯. Hitting people was always bad and always will be, and it wasn¡¯t strange to me that I was getting scolded for it¡­


    But on the other hand HE didn¡¯t mention why I did it.


    -I won¡¯t hit people¡­ But you shouldn¡¯t play mean pranks!-


    His brow furrowed.


    -What prank, Silika? I didn¡¯t play any pranks on you.-


    He signed innocently to which I grunted in annoyance.


    -You said your friend was the Count! But then you said the woman was the Count!-


    -Well yes, women can also be a Count, Silika.-


    -No, they can¡¯t!-


    He shook his head.


    -No, Silika, they can be. Anyone can become a Count if they inherit the title.-


    -But a girl is called a Countess!-


    He looked at me for a moment.


    He looked down to his fingers and signed the words Count and Countess in succession.


    I could see his eyes grow before he stopped signing to himself and rubbed the corner of his eyes strongly.


    He took a deep breath before slowly letting out a long sigh.


    -I¡¯m sorry, Silika. I mixed up the words¡­ I¡¯ll be more careful next time and I¡¯ll let the Countess know that it was my fault.-


    I nodded satisfied, but he continued signing.


    -...But that still doesn¡¯t excuse kicking or punching. Hurting people is not the way to say you¡¯re angry, understand?-


    He looked at me expectantly.


    It was a bit annoying, but I relented.


    -I¡¯m sorry for kicking you.-


    He nodded with a satisfied expression.


    -Good. So, for your punishment¡­-


    -Punishment?-


    I interrupted him, confused.


    -Well, yes. You did something bad, so you get a punishment.-


    I felt a weight sink in my stomach.


    -You did something bad as well, why aren¡¯t you getting a punishment?-


    -Well, as opposed to you, I didn¡¯t do it on purpose.-


    -What about when you ignored me? That was on purpose!-


    I could see his eyes narrow at my retort followed by a moment of hesitation.


    -Well, alright, so we¡¯ll both get a punishment. How¡¯s that?-


    I could feel the corner of my eyes droop at his suggestion.


    -Why can¡¯t we just not get punished at all if we¡¯re both getting punished?-


    -Because we won¡¯t learn from our mistakes if there¡¯s no consequences.-


    -I think I will.-


    -Oh, I¡¯m sure you ¡®think¡¯ you will, but I prefer to ¡®know¡¯ you will.-


    I grit my teeth as I realised I wouldn¡¯t be able to wiggle out of this one.


    -Alright, so for your two punishments¡­-


    -I get two punishments?!-


    He nodded seriously.


    -Kicking people is a serious thing. I want  you to learn your lesson¡­ The second one is a smaller punishment anyway.-


    I let out a sigh which seemed to make him laugh for a moment, but when I looked up annoyed he pursed up his lips as if to hide his amusement.


    -Alright, so first punishment. You will have to read for at least an hour everyday¡­-


    I let out a sigh.


    I still don¡¯t get this whole reading thing, it¡¯s such a pain.


    Even when I was stuck at the viscount place, I only began reading because it beat doing nothing¡­ And only by a very small margin.


    -...And the second punishment is that you will have to play with Countess Aremein¡¯s niece tomorrow.-


    I squinted.


    I tried to recall the other girl from earlier, but, by all means, she looked like an adult.


    -Isn¡¯t she too old to play?-


    I asked confused.


    He tilted his head.


    -What do you mean?-


    -Well she looked like an adult.-


    - I¡¯m pretty sure you¡¯ve never even seen her.-


    -Wasn¡¯t she standing right next to the Countess?-


    He looked at me confused for a moment, before he understood who I was referring too.


    -Ah no¡­ That¡¯s not her niece¡­-


    -Uh? really? Who is she then? Her sister? A friend?-


    -No no neither. She¡¯s the Countess¡¯ wife.-


    The countess wife? Was he confusing words again?


    -What do you mean. Like, the Count¡¯s wife¡­?-


    -Well, no. There is no ¡®Count¡¯¡­ Well there is but¡­-


    He was silent for a moment, as if contemplating something.


    -Well I guess you¡¯re getting to the age where we should talk about these things...-


    I looked at him puzzled.


    He stood up from the ground and sat beside me.


    -Do you know what marriage means, Silika?-


    I continued staring at him strangely while he crossed his warm, waiting for an answer.


    -Yes, I think so. It¡¯s when two people get the blessing of Saria and are able to have children.-


    -...Well¡­ I¡¯m glad you¡¯ve been paying attention in your religious studies¡­ Yes, you¡¯re right, in theory, but do you know why two people decide they want to get married together?-


    -...Because they love each other?-


    -That¡¯s right! Or in most cases anyway. You see, everyone wants to live with someone they love, but sometime a man might love another man or a woman another woman.-


    -Really¡­? Why?-


    He smiled a bit strangely.


    -Well, hum¡­ Because¡­ Because they just like people like that? I might not be the best person to explain that part¡­ Anyway, that¡¯s not what¡¯s important.  What¡¯s important is taht sometime girls like girls and boys like boys. Like it¡¯s the case for Aremein and her wife.-


    -I see¡­-


    I said as I though about it for a moment.


    -So the woman you saw beside the Countess is what¡¯s called a ¡®Countess consort¡¯. Meaning, the wife of the real Countess.-


    It made sense enough.


    I had always thought that girls only loved boys and boys only girls, so that was new¡­ I¡¯m not sure if there was a reason why I thought that way but I guess it¡¯s just not something I expected. It was new and I had a lot of questions bubbling in my head that I couldn¡¯t quite put into words yet¡­ But one question stood out to me as it was still quite fresh.


    -Then who was the man I greeted first by accident?-


    Dad made an uncomfortable smile.


    -Well¡­ How do I put this¡­ Like you learned in church, marriage is a blessing between two people so they can bring children into this world, but¡­ hum¡­ Even if they really love each other, two women or two men can¡¯t have children. So when two women or two men get married and want children, they will also have to marry a third person¡­ It¡¯s what¡¯s called a ¡®?g?st¡¯ marriage.-


    I blinked a few times.


    I was learning a lot of things all at once, and I was starting to feel a bit confused. So not only can two women or two men get married, but they can also marry a third person? Why was this all so complicated¡­?


    -Why would they do that? Can¡¯t they just adopt a child like you did?-


    Lionheart made another complicated expression.


    -Well no, they can¡¯t.-


    -Why not? You did it!-


    -Well, yes that¡¯s right, but¡­ Well¡­ Hum¡­ Let¡¯s just say that¡¯s not really an option normally.-


    -But it was an option for us¡­?-


    He smiled, but it wasn¡¯t a happy smile. It was a complicated smile. The smile adults make sometimes when they couldn¡¯t say what was on their mind.


    -It was. You¡¯re my daughter after all, right?-


    I nodded proudly.


    -That¡¯s right!-


    He caressed my cheek while smiling for a moment.


    -I know this might be a little complicated to understand, but all that¡¯s important to know is that the Countess, the Countess consort, and the Count consort are all friends and love each others very very much, so that¡¯s all that matter, okay?-


    I nodded.


    Once I really thought about it, it wasn¡¯t that complicated, really.


    You can marry anyone you like, but if you want children, you need a boy and a girl.


    I don¡¯t know why that is though¡­ Maybe I should ask dad later.


    As I was thinking of things, I remembered how our conversation started.


    -So the Countess¡¯ niece is really around my age?-


    He chuckled.


    -That¡¯s right. Don¡¯t worry, I wouldn¡¯t have you play with a boring adult.-


    I let out a sigh of relief.


    I really thought he expected me to play with a grown up for an entire day¡­


    Now that I think about it, it is a bit strange that my punishment is to play with someone.


    Is there a trick? Mmmh¡­ I guess I can¡¯t just ask him straight to his face like that¡­


    -So I have to read once a day and play with the Countess niece¡­ What¡¯s your punishment?-


    I asked him and for a moment he looked perplexed.


    Maybe he forgot we said that we would both get punishment. Or more likely, he had hoped I forgot. That¡¯s what I would have done.


    -Ah¡­ Well¡­ Hum¡­ What do you think it should be?-


    He asked, obviously a bit reluctant.


    I though about it for a moment.


    A punishment¡­


    I had always been on the receiving end of those, so I wasn¡¯t too sure what would be a good one, but¡­


    An idea came to me.


    I felt a smile draw itself on my lips as I prepared to explain his ¡®punishment¡¯.

 Side Story 5. Within the woods, there is a house (Knights)

    I nervously looked out the window, staring at the root infested streets of Alenia¡¯s Sanctum City. I spat out the sunflower seed shell I¡¯d been chowing down on. For some reason, they had this seemingly bottomless complimentary bowl at the centre of our room.


    Truly, the only saving grace of being stuck here for over a week. That and the fascinating sight of the overgrown city.


    Galvian was lazily reading a book by a window alcove while wearing little more than underwear¡­ Sometimes, I wonder if he even considers me a woman, but I guess that¡¯s what happens when you spend so much time with someone.


    It still astounded me how non-challant he could be.


    Was it a curse or blessing?


    Who knows, but it sure irritates me to see him enjoying himself while I¡¯m quietly agonising a few feet away from him.


    ¡®Await further instructions.¡¯


    That had been the orders we had received from our contact after giving them the missive¡­ And waiting we do.


    I let out a sigh.


    ¡°Hersia, I swear to Seeir, if you won¡¯t just relax, at least don¡¯t be a drag and go take a walk or something.¡±


    I scoffed.


    ¡°And be missing when our orders finally arrive? No, thank you.¡±


    It was his turn to let out a sigh as he closed his book. He stood up from his perch and put on some pants before heading for the door.


    ¡°And where do you think you¡¯re going?¡±


    He looked at me with an annoyed expression.


    ¡°Following my own advice. Going for a walk before I shove what¡¯s left of those seeds down your throat.¡±


    He started leaving the room.


    I felt my head churn for a moment, before accidentally letting a few words escape my mouth.


    ¡°Wait¡­ Uh¡­¡±


    ¡°What now?¡±


    He turned to me annoyed.


    We shouldn¡¯t be leaving the room, but¡­If I¡¯m alone here¡­


    ¡°I¡¯ll come as well¡­¡±


    He looked at me incredulously for a moment before rubbing the bridge of his nose and letting out a sigh.


    He stepped aisde letting me lead the way.


    ¡°So where were you thinking of going?¡±


    I asked him, not expecting much from him.


    ¡°Don¡¯t know¡­ I was thinking of asking the Innkeeper for some place to eat¡­¡±


    Just as we started down the stairs, we ran into our contact.


    It wasn¡¯t something unusual as this ¡®inn¡¯ seemed to act as some sort of base of operation for the Grey order and its associates.


    Her name was Galeshia and had very little of the usual demeanour of the members of our order¡­ Although that might be just fine for a local agent who had to blend in.


    ¡°Aye kins! Ye goin¡¯ out?¡±


    ¡°Ah yes, just to catch some fresh air.¡±


    ¡°Aye ¡®tis a sunny day I¡¯ll give ye that!¡±


    The Aleniakin said with a smile as she stared out a window.


    ¡°Well if, da both of ye ain¡¯t too strapped fo¡¯ time, ye wanna go for a small excursion?¡±


    Excursion?


    That sounds like a mission¡­ Exactly what I need!


    ¡°Sure, why not?¡±


    ¡°Great! Let¡¯s head out then!¡±


    Well, that¡¯s a turn for the better.


    For once, it paid off to follow Galvian¡¯s lead¡­ Although this isn¡¯t exactly the type of ¡®mission¡¯ I had been looking forward to.


    After a short explanation, it seemed that the excursion entailed a painfully trail through the thick forest toward an indiscernible destination.


    The only saving grace was that this was an actual trail, as opposed to the trap the old man had led us through, which allowed for horses.


    As we started down our journey, Galvian chipped in.


    ¡°Say, Galeishia. Why are the trails so¡­¡±


    ¡°Poorly maintained?¡±


    She finished his sentence.


    ¡°I was going to say it some other way¡­ But yeah¡­¡±


    She shrugged.


    ¡°¡®Tis how its been fo¡¯ more than a century nouw. Ye might have hear ¡®bout da heresy of Duke o¡¯ Sunbarrow?¡±


    Who hadn¡¯t? But I let her continue.


    ¡°Well after da Duchy of Sunbarrow was no mo¡¯e, replaced by da Grand Duchy, and da surviving members of our people were able to rejoin, it was decided by our leaders da we should recluse ourselves in Alenia¡¯s Sanctum, as to avoid any future¡­ How do ya people call it¡­ Displacement? ¡®Nyway. Point bein¡¯, it¡¯s to defend ourselves. Armies canna invade us if they can¡¯t reach us.¡±


    We came across another group of Alenia-kin who casually greeted us. I was puzzled to see they were driving a carriage.


    ¡°But then, how exactly do you ferry goods on these roads? Don¡¯t things get stucked?¡±


    She laughed.


    ¡°Aye, if YE were to do so, it would, but for us¡­¡±


    she pointed forward and after a moment the root which blocked the way swayed aside.


    ¡°..Tis but a minor inconvenience.¡±


    Interesting.


    ¡°But then, if one of your kins were to betray the Sanctum¡­¡±


    ¡°Aye, it would be inconvenient, but that¡¯s unlikely¡­ And if one of our own was to betray us, it would amount to heresy.¡±


    I nodded.


    We continued our travel for some time, passing many small settlements.


    Galeshia never told us where we were heading and by the time the question formed in my head, it felt the timing wasn¡¯t right anymore, but the question answered itself soon enough.


    ¡°What in Diid¡¯s name is that?¡±


    I heard Galvian swear to himself.


    Before us, stood probably the largest structure I had ever seen outside of Evergreen.


    It looked like¡­ Well, there¡¯s really nothing I could really compare it to.


    It was an immense stone structure, built in what looked like three receding levels that cumulated into a cracked dome through which an enormous tree had sprouted. On either side of the dome, aqueducts poured down the structure like man-made waterfalls. It trickled down the structure until the edge of a cliff which fed into the river currently blocking our path.


    I turned to Galeisha and she smiled knowingly.


    ¡°A god¡¯s sanctum, kins.¡±


    ¡°Uh?!¡±


    I let out a strange noise unconsciously.


    If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    A sanctum was a god¡¯s residence¡­ But¡­


    ¡°It¡¯s not Alenia¡¯s, is it?¡±


    I asked her, confused.


    She shook her head.


    ¡°Nay, if ¡®twas Alenia¡¯s, they¡¯d already be a city built around it¡­ Or at least it would be a little better guarded. Nay, this is a dead god¡¯s home.¡±


    I felt a shiver run down my spine.


    Gods couldn¡¯t ¡®die¡¯ per se, but they could become somewhat irrelevant. A dead god specifically refers to a god whose worship reached a point as such that their influence over the world has become so weak that they could no longer grant blessings¡­ But the blessings weren¡¯t the only thing affected¡­


    ¡°Whose?¡±


    Galvian asked and after a moment of hesitation added.


    ¡°And why so close to Alenia¡¯s Sanctum?¡±


    The kin shrugged.


    ¡°No one knows. Well, ¡®xcept the gods I gather. Ain¡¯t none of our business ¡®nyway. We¡¯re here to ma¡¯e sure this place is clean. Ferals and scoundrels love this kinda place fo¡¯ some reason.¡±


    I frowned at her comment.


    ¡°Aren¡¯t we a little under-manned to clear out a potential criminal hideout?¡±


    She raised an eyebrow with an amused look.


    ¡°Well ain¡¯t we confident Missus Grey Knoight.¡±


    She chuckled.


    ¡°Nay, I¡¯m just teasin¡¯. It¡¯s only a short scootin¡¯ mission. We spot anythin¡¯ and we¡¯ll just report it to da garrison. They¡¯ll come clear it out. But dona worry. It¡¯s probably empty. Just people up top gettin¡¯ a bit fussy is all. Come on, let¡¯s head in.¡±


    We tied our horses and started our walk across the stone bridge. It was large enough to accommodate three carriages side-by-side, I couldn¡¯t help but wonder how such a place could fall into such disrepair.


    Although most of the structure was still intact, it was overgrown by bushes, ferns and wild moss¡­ And the pierced dome atop it all stood like a crooked crown on this fallen divine household.


    We reached the large metal gate shortly. I wondered for a moment if we were supposed to somehow push these brass doors open on our own, but Galeisha simply headed for the centre where encrusted within the elaborate design, the door split into a smaller set, only large enough to let two people through.


    Instinctively, I had started taking out my oil lamp, but seeing that the kin didn¡¯t bother doing the same, Galvian and I simply followed suit, and after seeing the inside, that turned out to be the right decision.


    The inside was¡­ Spacious.


    One would have expected long and cavernous corridors from the austere-looking exterior, but instead, the inside was built on four levels of interconnected passerelle that led to what seemed like small building-sized rooms and alcoves. The large waterfalls we had noticed pouring from the top outside seemingly also fed a system of water canals that flowed throughout the interiors. The ceiling was dotted with lightwells which reflected in these water canals and further illuminated the ceiling and walls with aquatic patterns.


    I had been dubious at first when Galeisha mentioned this place would be the type to attract unwarranted residents, I was now more surprised that it had not.


    ¡°Heck, I would move in here¡­¡±


    I mumbled to myself unconsciously.


    ¡°Roight? Well, we sometoimes hold festivals in here, but the place¡¯s keeper wouldna tolerate any more than dat.¡±


    ¡°Didn¡¯t you say this was a dead god¡¯s sanctum? They¡¯re still around?!¡±


    Galvian asked incredulously.


    I perked up. A god? In here? Right now?


    ¡°Nay, they here no more¡­ But da kinling, that she sure is.¡±


    A god¡¯s eternal servant? I would be lying if I said I wasn¡¯t almost equally curious.


    ¡°Can we meet her?¡±


    I asked as we continued making our way down the large stone pathway, flanked on both sides by water currents and catwalks splitting toward different rooms and walkways.


    She shrugged.


    ¡°She¡¯s quite¡­ Shoy. Donna get your hopes up.¡±


    We continued down the path and arrived at what looked like the centre of the building which had more in common with a town place than any hall I¡¯d ever seen. Beyond being surrounded by walkways, waterways and doorways to unknown rooms, in the centre of the place, beneath the cracked dome, grew a large tree surrounding a pit.


    Or at least, I thought it was a pit, but as we grew closer, I realised that the hole continued much deeper than I expected.


    Drawn by it, I walked until I was only a few feet from the edge and peered down.


    It was deep.


    So deep I couldn¡¯t even see the bottom.


    ¡°I reckon yee shoul¡¯ take care na to trip. ne¡¯er heard o¡¯ anyone falling down, but I donna think yee wanna find out what¡¯s at the bottom.¡±


    I let out a nervous chuckle and backed away.


    ¡°Ye two, take it easy fo¡¯ a bit. Jus¡¯ need to check on som¡¯thing.¡±


    Galeishia went ahead on her own, leaving Galvian and I to gawk at the scenery.


    The air was strangely refreshing. The summer heat didn¡¯t quite reach us here, but the plentiful lights filtering in mixed with the humid breeze of the water rushing all around us made for a relaxing atmosphere.


    I leaned against the remains of a collapsed pillar and closed my eyes for a moment.


    I felt calm. More than I had in months.


    There were many things that had led me to this very moment, mistakes mostly, but right now I felt at peace.


    I knew this was only a scooting mission, little more than a house call which Galeishia would have been more than able to do on her own, but I felt useful.


    I felt needed.


    And, perhaps most importantly, I was part of something.


    ¡°What god do you figure made this place?¡±


    Galvian asked.


    Compared to his other interruptions over the last week, I didn¡¯t feel irritated. It felt¡­ Apt.


    As though this question had to be asked.


    I opened my eyes once more and slowly looked across the place looking for some sort of clue.


    ¡°Not sure really. Dead gods don¡¯t tend to become that way when they¡¯re widely known in the first place. Maybe the water¡¯s a clue?¡±


    I suggested as I glanced behind me.


    A short trickle of water was pouring down from an upper gallery down to where once stood the other part of the pillar I was currently resting on.


    I hadn¡¯t really questioned it much, but it was truly curious to see all this moving water around the place.


    By all means, we were above the river¡¯s level and I doubt there had been enough rain in the last few days to feed such an elaborate system, but then, where did it come from?


    ¡°Good point. Reminds me a bit of a fountain of sorts¡­ Although this looks much more complicated.¡±


    I nodded in agreement.


    I wasn¡¯t much of an engineer or technical person in the first place, so I didn¡¯t have the first clue about how a fountain worked, but it would make sense.


    ¡°So¡­ Maybe an artisan god of sorts? The likes that would know how to make them?¡±


    Galvian shrugged at my suggestion.


    ¡°I¡¯m pretty sure there wouldn¡¯t be a god for something so specific¡­¡±


    ¡°How so? Nevaris is the patron saint of fermentation, Ercai of carpentry¡­ It wouldn¡¯t be too far fetched.¡±


    ¡°Well carpentry is a very useful skill¡­¡±


    ¡°So gods have to be useful now? Oh I¡¯m sorry, I forgot how important Urlot¡¯s diseases were to society! Oh and who could forget Gills and his¡­ What was it again?¡±


    Galvian glanced up to me with an annoyed expression.


    ¡°Shadows¡­ But that¡¯s completely different! It¡¯s an essential part of life!¡±


    ¡°Oh yes, you¡¯re absolutely right! What would we do if we could see everything at any time of the day? My, we may very well be out of a job!¡±


    We continued bickering for a while until we noticed Galeishia returning.


    I immediately signalled for Galvian to shut his mouth. It was one thing to argue in private, but when others were around¡­


    ¡°Oh, donna stop on my account! Love ta hear a good shooting match!¡±


    She said with a smile at the corner of her lips.


    I could feel my cheek reddening in embarrassment.


    ¡°¡®nyway, if I¡¯m not interrupting too much, I got somethin¡¯ to show ye.¡±


    Curious, I pushed myself off my spot while Galvian, almost as promptly, jumped to his feet and dusted his pants.


    We followed the kin down a walkway and then through a large gate that led to a staircase heading beneath the ground.


    The atmosphere became more claustrophobic. The walls narrowed around us into a long tunnel, which didn¡¯t split nor turn.


    It took us several minutes of us walking through increasing darkness to finally reach the end of the tunnel and enter a large room.


    I wasn¡¯t sure what I was looking at, but it looked similar to the watermill systems in Evergreen.


    Large stone basin, with long copper tubes pouring or draining water out of pools. There were other things around. They reminded me a bit of those strange furnace smiths used but more elaborate.


    Although the room looked and felt very busy, it was extremely quiet, as though all those stone gates moving and opening to drain water were little more than decorations. The water was also illuminated somehow. Perhaps it had something to do with light wells in the room above, but the light carried down here gave the entire room a strange ethereal feel.


    I could tell something else was going on in here¡­.


    Or there had been. Large struts of metals poked from the walls, as though meant to hold some large tool, long gone from this place, I could also see chains and wheels on the walls, long rendered immobile from rust and dirt.


    This room had once been very important.


    For what? Only gods knew¡­ Or one of them anyway.


    At the end of the room stood what could only be described as an altar which the kin approached and lightly touched, tracing the holy inscriptions engraved on it.


    The only thing that stood out to me was a strange metallic indent at the top, but she didn¡¯t bother with it.


    Her hand slid along the side and seemed to find a spot on the rugged surface.


    Her fingers pressed down and surprisingly the stone gave way and the sound of some mechanism was heard. Without a warning a loud rocky growl roared and the wall that had been right in front of us began lifting itself.


    Confused we looked-on as an enormous cavernous room was made visible to us.


    Within it, more elaborate waterway systems, stone gates and large wheels moved in indiscernible patterns. Beyond it all, a light shone and illuminated a series of 4 large spinning stone dials.Symbols were inscribed in them.


    The alphabet it used was from a dead tongue, but it was still familiar to some. Euronic. It dates from the 3rd Era.


    The dials spun on themselves for a while and stopped on certain letters before spinning again. It repeated this same pattern over and over again forming what I recognised to be Euronic Syllables


    It repeated over and over again, like the pendulum of a clock.


    Confused, I tried to understand what it said.


    ¡°Sap-, Eroc-, Ne-, Tot-, Neib-¡­Sap Eroc- Ne Tot- Nieb¡­ Sap Erocne Totneib¡­¡±


    Galvian mumbled to himself as he came to the same understanding as I did.


    ¡°Not yet, soon.¡±


    I said, nodding in agreement.


    ¡°What do you figure it means? And why bother making all this for such a simple message?¡±


    I looked to Galeishia for answers, but she only gave a vague smile.


    ¡°Le¡¯s call it one o¡¯ this place great mysteries. Since I¡¯ve known o¡¯ this place, it¡¯s been repeating ¡®Sap erocne, Sap erocne, sap erocne¡¯, but then last year the pattern changed. A new words. ¡®Totnieb¡¯; Soon. I canna tell yee what¡¯s comin¡¯ soon, but I can tell yee this place has been countin¡¯ down to it.¡±


    She said before turning back to the large dial repeating the ominous words.


    Not yet, soon.


    Not yet, soon.


    Not yet.


    Soon.


    Not yet.


    Soon.

 68. Dinner amongst friends

    -Can I take it off now?-


    -No! You have to wear it until we get to the diningroom!-


    -Alright, Alright¡­-


    I let out a sigh.


    I had been told that having a child wouldn¡¯t be easy, but I didn¡¯t expect being forced to wear a bow on your head when meeting other nobles level of difficulty.


    Dejected, I looked down at Silika as she proudly strode at my side with a smug smile sprawled across her face as she walked down the hall, her bunny plush dangling at her side.


    Well, a bit of humiliation is a small price to pay to see her smile. Kids are truly incredible, one minute they''re sick and crying, and the next they''re smiling and laughing. I wish it was so simple for an adult¡­ But well, for now, I¡¯m perfectly content with this outcome.


    -What are you smiling about?-


    Silika signed as she arched her brow. Obviously my thoughts had leaked onto my face.


    -I was just thinking how lucky I am to have such a cute daughter.-


    She smirked.


    -Well, you know what they say? Like father, like daughter.-


    She said while pointing at the bow on my head and laughing.


    I let out another sigh.


    How and when did my daughter get such a nasty sense of humour? I hope she doesn¡¯t grow up to be twisted¡­ Well, being a little twisted is probably fine. Adds a bit of spice to life I guess. I can¡¯t imagine Silika turning into a polite young lady or a wallflower. Anyway, I¡¯d rather she kept on being a bit bratty over becoming mute on top of being deaf¡­


    I felt a knot grow in my chest at the thought.


    Could it happen? Could Silika, just stop talking one day? I ignored her earlier as a petty punishment and it made her this upset. So what will happen when no one around can use the Solomon tongue?


    I glanced at her, worried about her future. If I was to die today, what would happen to her?


    Lost in thoughts I barely registered that we had reached the diningroom.


    ¡°The Lord and Young Lady Ashbrook of Clotop, Countess Aremein.¡±


    The butler announced as he opened the door for us.


    Sitting at the end of the table Evelyn Aremein stood up.


    ¡°Marshall! I see your daughter is back on her feet! I hope the room was to your liking?¡±


    Evelyne asked in her boisterous voice.


    ¡°I could not ask for a better host, Countess Aremein.¡±


    I responded with a bow. From the corner of my eye, I was happy noticing Silika doing the same.


    ¡°AH! Stop with the ¡®Countess¡¯ this and ¡®Countess¡¯ that! That¡¯s all I¡¯ve heard coming from your mouth since you¡¯ve arrived! We¡¯re practically family now, with your cousin marrying my wife¡¯s brother! Hell, I¡¯ll say it! Welcome home, brother!¡±


    I couldn¡¯t contain a snort as I noticed my ¡®cousin-in-law¡¯ hiding her face in embarrassment, while the count consort exploded in laughter.


    It¡¯s good to see some things don¡¯t change. Decorum was never her strong suit, but perhaps that¡¯s what made her such a good fit for her role.


    ¡°Now! Stop, standing there like ducks and come have a seat.¡±


    she said as she pointed to her left.


    ¡°And what¡¯s with the bow anyway?¡±


    She said pointing to my head. Silika chuckled raising a few eyebrows around the table.


    ¡°Ah yeah, about that¡­¡±


    I took my seat and glanced at Silika who looked up from her own seat expectantly.


    I let out a defeated sigh.


    ¡°I have to ask for your forgiveness regarding the commotion at our arrival. It appears that I inadvertently told my daughter that the countess of Jilbeck¡¯s Crossing was in fact a man. Leading to her making a fool of herself. As punishment, I am making a fool of myself  before you all.¡±


    Silika nodded in a content manner as I signed the words I spoke.


    -And don¡¯t you forget it!-


    She signed proudly back at me.


    We¡¯ll have to have a discussion about her way of talking eventually, but for now I guess it doesn¡¯t hurt too much since I¡¯m the only one who understands her around the table.


    ¡°Well your daughter certainly must take after her mother! I¡¯ve never met an Ashbrook or Dalar who¡¯d think up something like that.¡±


    Isola Marys said, having finally recovered from her earlier embarrassment.


    Evelyn nodded in agreement as she took a sip of wine, before her eyes lit up.


    ¡°Ah! Speaking of children with smart mouths! I¡¯ve yet to introduce you to my niece!¡±


    She said while looking at the girl sitting in front of Silika.


    The girl was supposedly the same age as Silika, but was much sturdier and taller. If that wasn¡¯t enough, she had fiery red hair held  back with a golden one-horned Steihnner circlet making her look even taller.


    Hopefully Silika won¡¯t be too intimidated by this girl¡­


    Her two amethyst eyes seemed to burn with determination as she stood up proudly from her seat. Arms crossed, as if on queue.


    ¡°I am Fiora Cidar! Daughter of Baroness Carolina Cidar and Frederick Armein! You may address me as Young Lady Cidar or Young Lady Fiora if you truly feel the need to be overly familiar.¡±


    Evelyn and Isola seemed unbothered by this strange introduction while Franklin, the Count consort, was muffling laughter on the side. Apparently, the countess was not exaggerating when she said her niece had a smart mouth.


    Fiora looked down at Silika then back to the point she had fixing while delivering her speech.


    ¡°I¡¯ll allow Young Lady Ashbrook to call me Fiora, since she looks fun!¡±


    The Count consort couldn¡¯t hold is laughter any more and began chuckling loudly, somehow which somehow eluded the young girl¡¯s attention, as the countess motionned for him to stay quiet as she muffled her own laughter.


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    Well at least it seems there¡¯s no shortage of fun in this household.


    ¡°I welcome you both of you to Jillbeck¡¯s Crossing! I hope you have a pleasant stay!¡±


    The girl then gave a poorly executed curtsy and sat back down on her chair.


    -What was that?-


    Silika signed as she tried her best at keeping a straight face.


    -The young lady introduced herself as Fiora Cidar.-


    Silika turned to me trying her best to hold her smile as her brows furrowed in confusion.


    -And why did she look at me as if she¡¯s going to kill me?-


    It was my turn to hold in a laugh.


    -She said she wants to be friends.-


    -By killing me?-


    -I don¡¯t think she mentionned anything about that.-


    -It sure looked like it.-


    I glanced at the aforementioned girl, who looked at us expectantly.


    -I think she meant it.-


    -Well I don¡¯t want to!-


    -Silika, we spoke about this! You have to play with her tomorrow! Try to be nice!-


    She clicked her tongue, but turned to them and stood up.


    ¡°Siileekah.¡±


    She tried her best to say her name followed by a curtsy, which eluded a pleased smile from Fiora.


    ¡°So the little mouse can talk after all?¡±


    Isola asked, while the countess and count consort focused on recovering their composure.


    ¡°Not much I¡¯m afraid. We¡¯ve practised saying her name, but anything else is still too much.¡±


    Isola nodded thoughtfully.


    ¡°It is true that my aunt said it was all quite difficult to regain speech at first, but she did improve over the years.¡±


    My ears perked up at the mention.


    ¡°Right, your aunt! Your Nephew did mention something about her deafness.¡±


    ¡°Oh you¡¯ve met Martin?¡±


    I nodded.


    ¡°Silika and I ran into the Marys¡¯ at the theatre last month. Your brother seemed to be in good health.¡±


    ¡°I would hope so! He¡¯s been down in Evergreen for what¡­ Two years? Has he mentioned when he¡¯s to come back to his county? My poor mother has had to administer the household for too long already.¡±


    she said with a sigh.


    It seems that siblings will always complain about each other, no matter their age.


    ¡°Not a peep about that, I¡¯m afraid.¡±


    ¡°Ah well, what can you do¡­ Oh but we were speaking of my aunt!¡±


    ¡°Right! I was hoping you¡¯d tell me a bit about her circumstances. Perhaps over tea?¡±


    ¡°Certainly. I¡¯m sure we¡¯ll find some time during your stay!¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re not trying to hit on my wife now, are you now you old dog?¡±


    Evelyn said jokingly, having finally composed herself.


    ¡°Wouldn¡¯t dream of it, ¡®sister¡¯.¡±


    ¡°Good, Good. Now! Before we all collapse from hunger, shall we?¡±


    The countess motioned to a maid and promptly afterwards a series of plates topped with a variety of foods were served. Silika, as she typically would, was fixated on the juicy-looking chunk of roast beef. The butler hastily came and served her a generous slice which only served to make her eyes grow large with anticipation.


    I borrowed the plate for a moment which elicited a dramatically dejected face from her.


    I let out a chuckle.


    ¡°It¡¯s only going take a moment.¡±


    I took my time to carefully cut the meat into bite size chunks. Although she had improved in using a knife, it would still cause too many screeching sounds and splashes of sauce on the table.


    ¡°She still doesn¡¯t know how to use a knife?¡±


    Franklin asked, surprised.


    ¡°Ah¡­ No. The servants didn¡¯t let her eat meat at her godparent¡¯s estate in Highland.¡±


    This was the lie I had worked so hard to create back in Evergreen.


    One built on so many falsified records and legal legerdemain that it was almost nothing short of the truth.


    But it had incurred a debt I would never be able to repay.


    Milray Vilger, the man who had helped me free Silika from the Grey Order, was the only noble who knew of her true origin¡­ Well he and the Paranam snake.


    Sympathising with my endeavor, he had offered to take on the role of Silika¡¯s godfather and thanks to him, I can now call Silika my daughter with no fear of reprisal.


    We crafted a simple story: Silika was born some 7 years ago, when Lilica and I eloped. Worried about the anger of our family and the danger Silika could face if she stayed in Evergreen, we hid her away at her godfather¡¯s estate in his home county of Grey Ridges.


    The only issue was that Silika was still not aware of any of this machination.


    ¡°Ha, well I guess that makes sense, even I would have batted an eye if I didn¡¯t know you were her father... My, with that striking pink hair¡­¡±


    He thought about it for a moment.


    ¡°Speaking of, who IS her mother if it¡¯s not too rude to ask?¡±


    ¡°Franklin, I don¡¯t think¡­¡±


    Evelyn tried to interrupt her husband, but I waved her off.


    ¡°No offence taken, I assume you will hear of it sooner or later.¡±


    I looked at Silika for a moment who was now too engrossed in eating to notice anything.


    ¡°It¡¯s Lilica Fauger.¡±


    Evelyn choked on her wine.


    ¡°Lilica Fauger? Like THE Fauger? What possessed you to¡­¡±


    ¡°Darling, please!¡±


    Isola interrupted the Countess, who quickly composed herself.


    ¡°My apologies, Marshall. I wasn¡¯t thinking. We had all heard of the lady¡¯s passing, but words hadn¡¯t come to me that the two of you were married.¡±


    I smiled pitifully.


    ¡°No harm done, Evelyn. Few knew. It was a closely kept secret until very recently.¡±


    She shook her head.


    ¡°Still, I can¡¯t forgive myself, please allow me to pass on my condolences to you and your daughter.¡±


    Seeing eyes suddenly focused on her, Silika looked at me curiously.


    -What¡¯s going on?-


    She asked with a confused look on her face.


    What should I say? Well, I guess the truth can¡¯t hurt.


    -They were giving me their condolences for Lilica.-


    -And they¡¯re looking at me because¡­?-


    -Because she¡¯s your mother.-


    She looked away for a moment, seemingly deep in thought, before turning back to me.


    -I¡¯m also sorry about her. I wish I could have met her.-


    I smiled and patted her head before turning back to the table.


    ¡°She thanks you for the kind words.¡±


    ¡°Haaa¡­ What a fool I¡¯ve made of myself¡­ My love, please help your tactless wife out of this situation.¡±


    She dramatically begged Isola from across the table.


    ¡°Oh what will we do with you¡­¡±


    This one sighed before smiling and turning to me.


    ¡°Blessing of Fei on you and your household, Marshall. I hope my Evlyn has not tainted your view of our household.¡±


    ¡°Not at all.¡±


    She clasped her hands happily.


    ¡°I¡¯m delighted to hear that! AH! Actually I was recently in Clotop¡­¡±


    I turned to her, surprised.


    ¡°You were?¡±


    ¡°So was I.¡±


    Fiora interjected, obviously feeling left out of the conversation, but Isola continued.


    ¡°Yes! Actually, I had the occasion to meet your father¡­¡±


    My father¡­ The meaning of our journey had almost been lost on me after everything that happened.


    ¡°How is he?¡±


    ¡°Well¡­ In good spirit if nothing else. You see, word around the court has it that his son may be returning from the capital soon.¡±


    She said in a teasing tone.


    A slightly mean-spirited jab, but reasonable. Many nobles were critical of my absence from Norland. As heir to one of its most important counties, there were a lot of expectations placed on me and I hadn¡¯t met any of them for almost 10 years.


    She looked at me expectantly. I knew this sort of comment would become frequent from now on, and that most people wouldn¡¯t be so playful about it, but it was a stark reminder of what was to come.


    ¡°Yes¡­ He is.¡±


    ¡°And he better be here to stay!¡±


    Evelyn roared in a lighthearted tone as she raised her glass.


    ¡°To your health, Marshall.¡±


    The rest of the dinner went on without  any issue. We talked about family, acquaintances and current events.


    The girls eventually excused themselves under the pretext of showing Silika around. It made me nervous letting her go on her own, but FIora would be with her.


    As the evening drew on, Isola and Franklin excused themselves and just as I was to do the same, Evelyn caught me off guard.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t we have some tea in my study, Marshall.¡±


    I felt an ice run through my vein. This was code word for ¡®we need to talk¡¯.


    ¡°Of course, lead the way.¡±

 69. Back to earth

    ¡°Do you know how screwed you are, Marshal Ashbrook?¡±


    And there it is¡­


    ¡°Yes, I do.¡±


    She let out a dry laugh, her composure had completely changed from earlier at the dining table. She wasn¡¯t joking and there was no pleasant expression on her face. The person in front of me was the Countess Armein. The one I¡¯d only met before on the battlefield almost a decade ago.


    ¡°No, no you don¡¯t. IF you did, you wouldn''t be here right nowl. Either you¡¯d already be in Clotop or you would be VERY far away. In another kingdom¨C Or on another damned continent!¡±


    She pulled back her hair nervously before taking her seat.


    ¡°For Steihnner¡¯s sake, Marshall! What were you thinking? You¡¯ll get yourself and your pretty little ¡®daughter¡¯ killed!¡±


    She said giving a strange intonation on the word daughter.


    ¡°What are you insinuating, Evelyn?¡±


    ¡°What? Am I catching on a little too well to your games?¡±


    She said with a sneer.


    ¡°I¡¯ve known you since you were a wee babe in your crib. You might have grown some hair on your chin since I last saw you but you won¡¯t take me on the same ride you¡¯re planning to take the rest of the damn kingdom!¡±


    She pointed a stern finger toward me.


    ¡°That girl is no more your daughter than any child I will ever have with Isola.¡±


    I stood up sending the chair tumbling down behind me.


    ¡°Take. That. Back. Now.¡±


    I said as I felt the blood boil in my veins.


    A wave of unease ran through Evelyn¡¯s eyes, but she quickly recovered and held my gaze.


    ¡°Look, Marshal. I love you like a brother, I really do, but this girl, Silika, is NOT your daughter. And if you think it¡¯s a good idea to pretend it¡¯s also the grand-daugther of Duke bloody Norland: you, sir, are insane.¡±


    I continued to hold her gaze, but I knew that no matter how much I didn¡¯t want to, I needed to hear what she had to say. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath,  picked up the chair and sat down in front of her. I did my best to avoid her eyes as I poured myself a glass of wine from the carafe sitting on the desk.


    ¡°It¡¯s not what it looks like.¡±


    I grunted.


    ¡°Oh really? Because I¡¯ll tell you what it looks like: the young lord, who has as many petitions against his hereditary right as a bird has feathers; comes back home with a pink-haired bastard daughter in tow to prove is not a damned eunuch. What¡¯s more he claims she¡¯s the daughter of the recently deceased heir apparent to the whole bloody Duchy!¡±


    She took the carafe from my hands and began to pour herself another glass.


    ¡°Now, I¡¯ll spare you the countless rumours of you bringing back the result of some ¡®foxy¡¯ affair that are bound to endlessly occupy the place of prime topic of tea parties for decades to come. Instead, please, please, please! Tell me¡­¡±


    She sat back on her chair and took a long gulp.


    ¡°...That you¡¯re not thinking, to do what it VERY MUCH looks like you¡¯re trying to do.¡±


    She looked away toward the fireplace in disgust as I attempted to gather my thoughts.


    It¡¯s not that it hadn¡¯t occurred to me that this wouldn¡¯t come up eventually, but I was truly hoping it wouldn¡¯t be so blunt.


    Everything she said WAS, at least partially, true, but it was never what I intended¡­


    ¡°Lilica was truly pregnant with our child¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh don¡¯t give me that bull¨C ¡°


    ¡°...When she died.¡±


    Evelyn''s expression froze, her mouth still in a twisted fashion as her eyes glazed up and the anger drained from her face; leaving the words that she had meant to follow forever unspoken. Instead she only uttered a single sound.


    ¡°Ah.¡±


    She closed her mouth and leaned back against her chair as she quietly took a sip from her crystal glass.


    I rubbed my face, feeling uncomfortable twitches and tingles run through my skin.


    ¡°It was a miscarriage.¡±


    I began explaining as I turned to the fire.


    ¡°It happened so quickly, you know? We were together that night,  talking about something silly. Names for the baby or something like that. Gods, you should have seen her, she was so beautiful laying there. Round belly just starting to poke out. And then it happened. Out of nowhere she howled in pain. She screamed and twisted¡­ And she just kept calling for my name as I looked at her like some stunned idiot, holding her as hard as I could while maids swarmed around us, trying to get the sheets out of the way.¡±


    I looked up into Armein¡¯s eyes.


    ¡°There was so much blood. More than I¡¯ve ever seen on any battlefield, Evelyn. It was everywhere. On the sheets, on her dress, on her skin¡­ On my hands¡­¡±


    I looked down at those same hands.


    I could still remember how they had felt  that night, warm, sticky¡­ And almost soon after turned cold and shrivelled.  The mere memory made me sick, but what truly stuck was what I saw in those last moments.


    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.


    ¡°She died, Evelyn. Bled out in my arms. There were no wounds to press on, no tourniquet I could make. She just bled and bled and, in less than an hour, she was gone.¡±


    The countess was silent for a while after that, slowly sipping on her glass of wine as I dropped my head into my palm


    ¡°And Silika? Who is she then?¡±


    I lifted my head and looked up at her with a pained smile on my face.


    ¡°She¡¯s my saviour.¡±


    She arched a brow at my answer.


    ¡°A seven year old mute, supposedly orphan, girl saved you? You? Count-to-be Marshall Ashbrook?¡±


    ¡°Laugh if you want, but that¡¯s how it was to me. If it wasn¡¯t for Silika¡­ I would still be rotting away in Evergreen, waiting for the inevitable¡­ And she¡¯s no mute, believe me.¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t take you for the poetic type.¡±


    Evelyn said with a dry laugh.


    ¡°Me neither, honestly.¡±


    I said with a sad chuckle.


    ¡°So apart from the whole adopting her. Making her your and Lilica¡¯s daughter was¡­?¡±


    I shrugged.


    ¡°Something I needed to do. Circumstances, yes¡­ But also my own selfishness.¡±


    ¡°I see¡­ Didn¡¯t want people thinking you had an affair?¡±


    ¡°If you were to put it simply, I guess that would be it¡­¡±


    ¡°There¡¯s another way to put it?¡±


    She asked with legitimate curiosity.


    I nodded.


    ¡°I can¡¯t quite explain it, but that day, when I met Silika, it¡¯s as if I was meeting my daughter¡¯s spirit. You¡¯ve never met her, but the similarity between her and Lilica are simply¡­¡±


    I shook my head.


    ¡°If Lilica was still alive, if she had given birth to a daughter, I know she would have looked just like Silika.¡±


    Evelyn was silent for a while as she spun the wine in her glass. Thinking.


    She placed the glass down and looked up at me.


    ¡°And what do you think would have come of your daughter if she had lived?¡±


    She said with a strange smile.


    ¡°This isn¡¯t funny.¡±


    ¡°And it¡¯s not supposed to be a joke. Answer.¡±


    I looked at her, puzzled.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure what you¡¯re getting at.¡±


    ¡°You see Marshall, there¡¯s one thing you fail to understand about all this, Marshal. You¡¯re not some nobody. Your Lilica was not some nobody. You both came from some, if not the, most powerful families in the whole of the northern part of the Kingdom.¡±


    She put down her glass, all warmth having left her eyes.


    ¡°Listen to me, Marshall; people will go after your life.They will go after your daughter¡¯s life. Hell, just from the fact that we¡¯re friends and that we¡¯re talking about this, they might go after mine! But that¡¯s not even the point, whether or not it was part of your ambitions, your daughter is not only heir to the much coveted county of Clotop, but potentially all of Norland. Do you grasp the sheer insanity of this? ¡°


    I stayed silent.


    ¡°By associating yourself to the Fauger, by bringing a child into this world sharing both of your families¡¯ blood, you¡¯ve created a catalyst for potentially the worst conflict this part of the kingdom has ever experienced! Give it ten years, when the old Fauger is finally ready to kick the bucket, what do you think will happen? Silika will be of age by then, whether or not she wills it, she will be considered an heir! Do you know what that means? There will be war, Marshall! War! Do you grasp exactly the magnitude of what you¡¯ve done?¡±


    I felt my fist tighten.


    I knew this. I always knew this and yet I had decided to ignore it.


    I hadn¡¯t done any of this out of any kind of grand ambition. I had done it for the love I held Silika, for Lilica, but no one cares about love or even hate. They care for the only thing that will always govern mann; power.


    ¡°Say something, Marshall! What¡¯s your plan? What are you even doing here?¡±


    I felt like a deer staring at an arrow flying toward his neck. Frozen. Unable to even flinch.


    Evelyn was right, I am a fool...


    ¡°What do I do, Evelyn? I don¡¯t know what to do¡­¡±


    She took a long look at me. Drew a long sip from her glass and placed it delicately on the table.


    ¡°You grow a gods damned spine. Stop fleeing. Stop avoiding. Stop pretending that everything is fine, because It. Is. Not.¡±


    She drew a long breath and after holding it in for a moment, a smile drew itself on her lips.


    ¡°But don¡¯t worry, it doesn¡¯t mean you have to do it alone. There¡¯s no need to pussyfoot around the subject, you¡¯ll be Count of Clotop before winter ends. My wife told me about your father¡¯s condition. It really isn¡¯t good. You need to gather allies, friends, people willing to back you up because right now Norland is a wolves¡¯ den, and you¡¯re a sheep. They hate your guts and they¡¯ll tear you apart at the first opportunity.¡±


    Friends¡­ To protect Silika.


    I nodded.


    ¡°Thank you, Evelyn.¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re welcome, Marshall.¡±


    She said with her familiar warm smile.


    ¡°Now, if you don¡¯t mind me, it¡¯s growing late and, I, weary for a good night''s sleep.¡±


    She stood up from her seat.


    ¡°Goodnight, ¡®brother¡¯. I hope night brings you wise counsel.¡±


    ¡°You as well, ¡®sister¡¯.¡±


    She smiled and left the study.


    I stayed a while longer, spinning the bit of wine left in my glass, I never ended up drinking any of it.


    I considered downing it, but simply put it down instead and headed back to my room.


    I was surprised to find Silika, sitting cross-legged on the bed holding her insignia tightly in her hands with her head bent forward and eyes closed. Praying as she did sometimes.


    She looked at peace, a fleeting smile on her lips. I slowly approached her not wanting to distract her. She looked so different than she typically did right now. She looked composed, serious, proud, and so much like Lilica. I could feel a tingle at the corner of my eye, but whisked it away.


    I slowly approached the bed and sat down at the corner. Silika opened her eyes, realising someone was in the room with her beamed strongly when she noticed me in front of her.


    -Your back!-


    -Of course I¡¯m back, did you  think I disappeared?-


    She raised a dubious eyebrow.


    -Obviously not, but I know adults loooove drinking until kids are asleep.-


    I chuckled.


    -That they do. Did you have fun with Fiora?-


    She made a strange face, but simply shrugged.


    -Well she showed me around for a while, but when went to the stable, she tried to climb on a horse. I think she wasn¡¯t supposed to because a maid immediately dragged her back to the room and me back here.-


    I raised an eyebrow, but didn¡¯t ask anything more. I wonder why the girl tried to ride a horse at night.


    -Well, that sounds fun, too bad your exploration was cut short.-


    I looked down at her hand still holding her insignia.


    -What were you praying for?-


    -Oh nothing really. I just wanted to thank Scorn for everything. I hear gods often get requests for things, but I was thinking maybe it must be nice to just receive nice words sometimes.-


    I smiled.


    The mind of children was truly fascinating. Praying to simply say thanks. Not for guidance, or help, but simply to tell them that they are happy.


    -If being a god is anything like being a father, I¡¯m sure Scorn is very happy right now.-


    -You think?-


    -I know it. Now, what do you say we get that reading done?-


    Silika made a sour expression.


    -I thought you forgot.-


    -Well, parents, like gods, never forget! Come on let¡¯s get tucked in! You still need to read that big book about scorn before your communion.-

 70. From across the Azure sea

    I grit my teeth as the wind whipped my face and made the creaking floorboards of the ship whine.


    ¡°Coloviath, you useless piece of garbage, couldn¡¯t you have made something more useful than a drifting piece of wood to travel long distance.¡±


    ¡°Now now my lady, it is the kins who designed this vehicle, not your brother.¡±


    I turned to the voice.


    Bluish-grey skin, crossed golden eyes and hair as dark as midnight.


    ¡°Eyzo.¡±


    I looked him up and down, annoyed to find him perfectly put together, despite his long journey.


    ¡°You¡¯re late.¡±


    ¡°Forgive me, Iron Maiden. Orr was¡­ More difficult to track down than expected.¡±


    I clicked my tongue.


    I couldn¡¯t tell if he was telling me the truth or simply making fun of me. I could have dug the answer out of him, but that would be playing into his games.


    ¡°So? Where is she? Moretti is but a day away now.¡±


    He shook his head, the smile never leaving his lips.


    ¡°Unfortunately, she is otherwise occupied. A debt of honour, I gather. For an old friend of yours in fact.¡±


    I snorted.


    ¡°An old friend you say? Well no matter. What did she say?¡±


    Eyzo brought a hand to his belt and pulled out an enveloppe.


    ¡°Not much really, just this letter.¡±


    He said handing the small folded piece of paper to me.


    Curious.


    Orr was not one known to be this diligent, even just this much was beyond any expectations. I had expected a word or two at most, or her simply coming along so she didn¡¯t have to have her words relayed.


    This, on the other hand, was something else.


    I opened the letter and felt a grimace draw itself on my face.


    The words shifted and slid on the piece of parchment like maggots on a day old carcass.


    I clicked my tongue and looked up at Eyzo.


    ¡°So THAT¡¯s the old friend we¡¯re speaking of then?¡±


    Eyzo simply smiled, but that was more than enough to confirm my suspicion.


    I turned my attention back to the oozing words on the parchment paper.


    There was no structure or sense to made from it, but I could recognise some words: Meiriem, Idols, Salland, Wesland, Norland, Firstland, Gods, Old wounds, Resurrection, Everest¡­


    ¡­Silika¡­


    That was the young rose¡¯s name. The one with my eyes.


    Curious. Truly curious. It¡¯s true that many manns throughout history had grown enough in greatness to be worth being discussed by us eternal beings, but why would a child be of any relevance?


    ¡°Did Orr mention why she administered the young kin with an early baptism?¡±


    Eyzo shook his head.


    ¡°I¡¯m afraid not, although I can hazard a guess.¡±


    ¡°Speak it, then.¡±


    ¡°She was bored.¡±


    I felt a smile flutter at the corner of my mouth.


    ¡°That¡¯s just why ¡®you¡¯ would have done it.¡±


    Eyzo shrugged with an all so telling smile on his lips.


    ¡°Regardless, we¡¯re almost in Moreti now. Have you heard anything about Meiriem?¡±


    ¡°Other than that they¡¯re still in Mai¡¯Ville?¡±


    I looked at him, with tired eyes.


    ¡°Preferably.¡±


    ¡°Then, yes. A lot actually.¡±


    I let out a sigh.


    ¡°Eyzo, if you weren¡¯t my most loyal servant, I would have you head turned into a latrine scrub stick.¡±


    He laughed loudly as the sail snapped in the wind above us.


    ¡°I know, I know, that¡¯s why I continue being useful despite your ladyship¡¯s nasty¡­¡±


    I glared at him which at the very least served in getting him to the point.


    He cleared his throat.


    ¡°Meiriem seems to have left her residence more than usual. Rumor has it that Seeirkins were hired on the hush hush by city officials to hunt vermins on the edge of the city¡­ Which has consequently thrown the citizens into an uproar. You know how Meiriemkins are. ¡®Animals are our friends¡¯  and ¡®who cares that they eat our winter food reserve, they¡¯re living beeing¡¯!¡±


    I let out a sigh.


    ¡°And so, obviously, Meiriem had to get themselves involved?¡±


    Eyzo nodded.


    ¡°That¡¯s right, the Seeirkins were arrested for their ¡®transgression¡¯ and Meiriem is now playing mediator to defuse the situation.¡±


    This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.


    ¡°Alcorn, how many Seeirkins did they hire to create such a buzz?¡±


    ¡°Around 200 of them, but over 800 Seeirkins were arrested in the sweep for the culprits.¡±


    ¡°So much for doing it on the hush hush¡­ Alright, anything else?¡±


    ¡°Oh yes! A lot, as I said.¡±


    ¡°I beg you, Eyzo, just say what needs to be said.¡±


    ¡°Well, if you¡¯re asking so politely¡­ The Orthodox Meiriem Church has actually recently reached Moreti. Rumor has it that they are the ones behind the Seeirkin ordeal.¡±


    I felt my ears perk up.


    ¡°What¡¯s with this Orthodox Church anyway? Why is there even such a thing?¡±


    Eyzo tilted his head.


    ¡°What do you mean? There¡¯s also an Orthodox Scorn Church, you know?¡±


    I frowned.


    ¡°Is there?¡±


    ¡°Absolutely, in Morrow. You¡¯ve even been there before. Well that was some 100 year ago, but you gave them a Polymaterium Ferrous Glass cube and they¡¯ve been using it as a sign to rally the fate ever since.¡±


    I sighed again.


    Kins are so tiresome, give them bread one day and they turn it into a knife the next.


    ¡°Alright, I¡¯ve had enough of you for today. Write me up a report with all the rumors you¡¯ve heard, I¡¯ll read it later¡±


    ¡°As you wish, Iron Maiden.¡±


    I felt the metal in my skin burn.


    ¡°I swear, Eyzo, I will turn you into¡­¡±


    I began threatening him, but he had already disappeared.


    I sighed and leaned on the wooden railing.


    Briefly staring at the deep blue of the sea.


    ¡°It appears you have changed very little even after all these years, your eminence.¡±


    I turned, toward the voice, curious who would be brave enough, or perhaps foolish, to interpel me so casually.


    It was an elderly man in his sunset years. A fine stream of white hair poked beneath a well maintained marineer¡¯s cap, while two scarlet beads poked through the fold of skin that were his eyes.


    Memory was not an issue for a goddess such as myself, but even I could not always recognise kins through the ever changing appearance the hold of Solomon caused them to experience.


    He felt familiar, a light timber in his tone spoke of azure seas and pearl mountain tops.


    ¡°You¡¯re from Cayko.¡±


    A pearly white smile split the wrinkled lips of the man.


    ¡°Correct, your ladyship. I once served you some 94 years ago.¡±


    I closed my eyes for a moment. 94 years ago.


    No, not 94 years, the kin is old, his mind is hazy and playing him tricks. It¡¯s more than that, let¡¯s try 103¡­ Yes, that''s right.


    ¡°Prince Isidil Laintoch.¡±


    The smile on his lips drew wider.


    ¡°Correct! My¡­ Being called a prince after all these years! That brings me back.¡±


    I smiled at the kin.


    He had been a young man when I met him last, little more than a child really, but even after all this time his expression was the same. It exuded a sense of calm, of serenity.


    ¡°You¡¯re an old man now, I¡¯m surprised you¡¯re even still around.¡±


    ¡°Ah well, you know, your sister Fey always had a soft spot for her kins. Kicking us a few more decades here and there. Not that there¡¯s much more of those left around for me to enjoy, but since I¡¯m around anyway, might as well make the most of them!¡±


    He chuckled as my smile lingered on.


    There was something about older kins. As though the crepuscule of their finite lifespan conferred them wisdom that forever eluded us immortals.


    He slowly walked to my side and leaned on the handrail beside me.


    ¡°So. Not a prince anymore, I take it?¡±


    I asked him in regards to his earlier comment.


    ¡°Oh no! Not at all! Not even since the last time we met!¡±


    ¡°Colour me intrigued, how is that? I seem to clearly recall the regal outfit you wore when we parted ways.¡±


    From the way his eyes shone, I could tell this was exactly what he had hoped I¡¯d ask.


    ¡°Do you remember the circumstance of our last encounter?¡±


    I nodded.


    ¡°One of my sanctum was victim of a rockslide. Thousands of my kins had to be displaced, but¡­¡±


    ¡°...But my father would not allow them into the city.¡±


    ¡°Correct.¡±


    He nodded to himself as though recalling those days. Perhaps trying to recall the face of his father.


    ¡°Yes, that¡¯s right. A story as old as the world. Kins of different gods who despite sharing the same world, will not share the same roof.¡±


    He smiled.


    ¡°My father may have been cold, but he was no fool ormonster, hecould not break the trust of his people by allowing them into the city, but he also knew you would come for them. That you would whisk them away to some placee or another¡­ And so he sent me, so I could assist you in doing exactly that.¡±


    ¡°And as I remember you did so excquisitely. As far as royal heirs go, I¡¯ve rarely seen one willing to walk knee deep in mud as enthusiastically as you did.¡±


    ¡°Well, fair is fair, let¡¯s just say that I was mostly trying to impress a certain goddess who I was escorting at the time, but I appreciate the compliment nonetheless¡­ But what were we saying¡­? Oh that¡¯s right! Me being a prince! Or well not being one anymore. Mmmhhh¡­ Ah, yes. Do you remember some of the Scornkins we escorted back then? A certain Anyet, perhaps?¡±


    Of course I did. I could also remember what she had worn back then, and I could also recall her as a child during her baptism¡­ But we¡¯re not having this conversation to test my flawless memory.


    And so, I tilted my head innocently.


    ¡°Maybe, but perhaps you could help job my memory?¡±


    A pleased smile spread across his face.


    ¡°Well, where to begin? She was pretty young back then. Maybe 18? Feisty and full of wits. I don¡¯t think I saw her smile once throughouy our entire journey! But she was tough, with will of steel. When we were traversing the marshed lands, she would carry children on her back and help out those who got stuck in the mud. She even got me out of a few sticky situations back then.¡±


    His eyes were closed as he recounted the events from memory.


    He took a long breath of the fresh sea air and exhaled.


    ¡°She was lovely. Truly truly lovely. And so, when we finally made it to the port, and I parted ways with your ladyship, I had already made up my mind to leave Cayko with her to built a life across the sea. Far from my homeland.¡±


    ¡°And you did.¡±


    I concluded to which he nodded.


    ¡°And I did. I never regreted the decision I made back then. My brother did a fine job as king in my stead and I hear his son is also doing splendidly¡­ As for Anyet¡­ Well, we lived a long and some time difficult life, but one I wouldn¡¯t have traded for anything in the world.¡±


    I nodded knowingly as I turned to the ocean and did what gods do.


    ¡°For life, there is death, for love there is hate, for chaos there is order. For good luck there are bad lucks, for sunny days there are rainy days and for every beautiful things there are ugly ones¡­ And so thereon goes the cycle created in our image.¡±


    I turned to him.


    ¡°I am pleased to see you were wise enough to appreciate this world in all it¡¯s perfections and its flaws.¡±


    He nodded and we both looked out to sea in melancholy.


    ¡°I don¡¯t imagine you can tell me if I¡¯ll ever see Anyet again?¡±


    He asked, like a child asking for desert without having finished his meal.


    I shook my head.


    ¡°That¡¯s not for me to say. After all, where the soul goes once it departs the material plane, is a place I can no longer reach.¡±


    He nodded, with the same smile he had until now. Satisfied.


    He pushed himself off the railing and looked up at me.


    ¡°It was a pleasure speaking to you once more before my time is up, lady Scorn.¡±


    ¡°The pleasure was all mine¡­ young friend.¡±


    He smiled and nodded to himself as he started walking away, but before letting him go, curiosity got to me.


    ¡°Say, Isidil, why are you here? An old man shouldn¡¯t be traveling alone.¡±


    He smiled painfully.


    ¡°Ah well, you see. It seems running away is a family trait. My daughter left us when she was still young, but decade later she wrote to me. Saying  she wished to make amend and for me to meet my great-grand-daugther.¡±


    He laughed.


    ¡°An old man only gets so many opportunities like that.¡±


    He said as he looked up at the sky.


    ¡°Her name is Anyet aswell.¡±


    He turned to me.


    ¡°Who knows, maybe you¡¯ll get to meet her for her baptism in a few years from now?¡±


    I nodded with a smile.


    ¡°I¡¯ll be looking forward to it.¡±

 71. Playdate

    -What IS this?-


    I asked with a disgusted expression as strange bulbous chunks jiggled in the pit of my spoon.


    -Red beans. It¡¯s a staple in the north. Try it, it¡¯s tasty.-


    I looked at dad with dubious eyes.


    -You said the same thing about beet soup.-


    -And beet soup is excellent. Your point?-


    I sighed before putting down my spoon.


    -See, that¡¯s why I don¡¯t believe you.-


    -Oh don¡¯t be dramatic, Silika. It¡¯s beans. Kids love beans!-


    -Well more for them then! I¡¯m an adult from now on.-


    I saw him start signing back to me, but I strategically looked away as I stepped down from my seat.


    This was our first morning in Jillbeck¡¯s Crossing and I was already starting to have my doubts about this whole ¡®living in the north thing¡¯. I hadn¡¯t really built up any expectations while travelling through Lowland since I was told it was very different from our destination, but now that we were only weeks away from Clotop, I was starting to worry.


    Weird trees, weird buildings, weird food¡­ Even weird people!


    Take Fiora for example.


    Apparently she was the same age as I was, but then how come was she a full head taller than I was? How did that happen? Was it something in the food? Was it in those ¡®red beans¡¯ dad was just trying to feed me?


    Wait¡­. Was THAT why he wanted me to eat them so bad? Does he think I¡¯m too short?


    Well I¡¯m not having any of it! I¡¯ll stay short like normal people! Like back in Evergreen!


    I turned back to Lionheart.


    -I¡¯m going out to play!-


    -Not so fast, Silika! Remember what we said yesterday?-


    Oh no.


    Why does dad have such a good memory¡­


    -I¡¯m not sure what you¡¯re talking about¡­-


    -Don¡¯t take me for a fool, Silika. It¡¯s written all over your face-


    I instinctively tried to hide my face, but it only served to make Lionheart laugh.


    -It¡¯s not funny.-


    He continued laughing despite my annoyance.


    -It¡¯s not! It¡¯s not! It¡¯s not!-


    He waved dismissively as he tried to keep his mouth shut.


    -Okay, okay. Not funny. But you still have to play with Fiora.-


    I could feel the corner of my mouth pull back in discomfort.


    Fiora wasn¡¯t just strange because she was taller than me, she also acted strange. She was always looking at me weird. As though she was some kind of war general or something.


    I was reluctant to play with her¡­ But I guess she hadn¡¯t actually been mean to me. If anything, she had been very excited to show me around, even though that ended up getting her in trouble.


    I let my shoulders droop and looked up at dad.


    -Alright¡­-


    -Good. Let¡¯s go meet young lady Fiora.-


    He got up from his seat leaving the leftovers of our breakfast behind.


    At least this means I won¡¯t have to eat any of those ¡®red beans¡¯.


    He took me by the hand and we walked through the sunlit wooden corridors of the castle. It was completely different from anything else I¡¯d been used to before. Compared to the manor in Evergreen or the estate in Oblon, the walls were covered in colourful tapestry and elaborate designs were sculpted right into the wooden pillars supporting the ceiling above us.


    We reached a small indoor garden where we found Fiora standing around staring intently at something on the floor. A nervous maid looked on from a corner in the room, keeping a visible distance from the girl.


    What was it about this girl that even kept the maids at bay?


    As we drew near, I noticed curious colourful sticks with ribbons lying on the ground before her. They looked pretty normal to me, but I remained suspicious.


    Lionheart called out to her. Which seem to take her out of her contemplation. He looked at the sticks curiously before asking her a question which she answered enthusiastically. He looked visibly perturbed which elicited another question to which she categorically shook her head to.


    He turned and signed to me.


    -Young Lady Fiora wanted to take you on a horse-riding excursion, but it seems that after yesterday¡¯s incident, she¡¯s no longer allowed to take any of the ¡®big¡¯ horses on a ride. So she found replacements.-


    I followed his gaze down to the ground.


    -Those sticks?-


    I asked as I squinted my eyes.


    -She called them ¡®small¡¯ horses.-


    I looked at the wood pieces, there were four of them all in different colours. I was curious how it was supposed to be made into a horse, but opted to keep my confusion to myself.


    -Well, I¡¯ll leave you girls to it. I have an appointment  with Lady Isola.¡±


    Lionheart bowed politely and excused himself, leaving me alone with Fiora and the twitchy maid who nervously approached.


    Fiora bent down and looked up at me expectantly as she said something while pointing at the sticks.


    I looked at her curiously. I still didn¡¯t understand how the horse was supposed to come together with only a couple of sticks.


    Seeing as she wouldn¡¯t budge until I did something, I picked up two from the pile, but Fiora seemed taken aback.


    She repeatedly signalled for me to put them down which only increased my confusion.


    I obliged and she then showed me a single finger while pointing the pile of sticks with her other hand.


    It was a bit confusing, but I bent down once more and picked up the yellow stick alone. She nodded approvingly and picked up a blue stick from the ground.


    She said something to me and stood tall, pumping her chest and placing her hands on her hips proudly, as though she expected an answer.


    I frowned in confusion and the maid whispered something to Fiora whose eyes lit up and an awkward expression drew itself on her face as she scratched her head.


    Had she forgotten that I was deaf?


    Now that I think back on it. I¡¯m pretty sure she was talking to me last night while we had walked around the castle¡­


    In an exaggerated manner, she pointed at the two of us, then at her stick and then at the door leading to the outside garden.


    If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.


    I guess she means for us to carry the sticks outside?


    I nodded and started picking up the sticks on the ground, but again she interrupted me while shaking her arms in a cross shape.


    She seemed at a loss for a moment, pondering.


    She seemed to come to some sort of conclusion and simply took me by the hand and dragged me along toward the door, much to the dismay of the maid who was looking at Fiora with glassy eyes.


    Once outside she released my arm and instead of her confusing finger pointing, she demonstrated. Fiora grasped the end of the piece of wood with both hands and straddled over its length. As she angled it down, I notices that the bow at the edge made it look like the tail of a horse while the ball at the tip looked like its head.


    [Oh! That¡¯s how it works!]


    I exclaimed but hid my mouth just as quickly as I realised I had spoken out loud in embarrassment.


    Most people outside of dad always look troubled when I do it¡­


    But that didn¡¯t seem to bother Fiora who simply beamed at me while motioning for me to  follow her lead.


    I watched her as she skipped down the garden path, on her horse and it fully came together.


    I followed her as we rode our make-believe horses.


    For a while we simply hopped around the garden and the inner courtyard. She would point at things and say a few words, but I didn¡¯t really care seeing as I was more focused on jumping from rock slab to rock slab without touching any grass the same way she did.


    After a little while, the novelty of simply hopping around visibly started wearing off for Fiora and she signalled for me as she headed out of the garden toward the west side of the castle. We followed the tall wooden wall until we finally reached the stables, which  looked much more impressive during the day.


    The large gates were left open as the stablehands and different people came in and out, sometimes even with horses with them.


    From the way she was longingly looking at the horses, I got the feeling that Fiora was quite the rider¡­ Or at least she wished she were. Even her choice of games seemed to circle around the idea.


    We tried to head for the inside, but the maid decidedly stopped us, nervously saying a few stern word at Fiora¡¯s attention. It seemed to take some convincing, but my playmate relented. Instead we rounded the stable and headed toward a small fenced field where we could see a few horses grazing.


    She pointed at a grey spotted horse and said something to me.


    She put down her stick and pulled me by the hand through the wooden fence. I hesitated, but seeing as the maid wasn¡¯t stopping her, I followed her into the long grasses.


    We walked right up to the horse and much to my surprise it didn¡¯t run away. I looked at it curiously as Fiora reached out.


    The large beast lowered its long neck down to her height. She patted it for a bit before turning to me and motioning for me to come closer.


    Although I¡¯d been around horses many time during our trip and even before, I never really interacted with them. I didn¡¯t even know how to ride beyond sitting and letting someone lead them. I always figured they would try to bite me if I tried to approach them, so it hadn¡¯t occurred to me that was something you could do¡­


    With some hesitation I reached out and was surprised whe my hand touched its skin. It was strangely rough and grainy as though the sleek fur was covered in sand. I patted below its head and I watched as it lowered its head further allowing me a better reach. I couldn¡¯t help but enjoy myself a little.


    After a bit, the horse raised its head and walked away leaving only a heavy smell behind. Curious, I brought my hand to my nose.


    [Ugh¡­ Stink!¡­ Good thing I didn¡¯t bring Darkie with me.]


    Fiora, seeing my disgusted face, started laughing.


    Annoyed, I tried touching her with my hand which she dodged as she continued laughing.


    I eventually managed to rub it all over her face, but she was too busy laughing to care.


    After straightening ourselves out, we made our way back to the fence where the maid was waiting for us holding our own ¡®horses¡¯.


    Instead of heading back the way we came, Fiora turned  toward a wooded area north beyond the garden. It wasn¡¯t quite a forest since it was obviously well-maintained, but it gave off the same feeling. Small animals like squirrels and rabbits were even walking around without a care in the world.


    The trail eventually led to a hut surrounded by trees. It looked extremely out of place, yet Fiora rushed inside, while the maid waited for me at the entrance. I felt wary at first, but seeing as Fiora simply strode in, I guess it must be fine¡­


    I entered the wooden building and was surprised to find a well lit but foggy room with a pit of ember at the centre surrounded by benches.


    Strangely though, I could see Fiora¡¯s discarded clothes and horse on a bench. I stared at it blankly for a moment, trying to understand what I had missed. Seeing my confusion, the maid following us took the horse from my hand before helping me out of my clothes. She wrapped a warm towel around me and led me through the room by the hand to the opposite side of the room.


    She lifted the curtains aside, revealing a large pool of steaming water in which Fiora was swimming energetically.


    It looked a lot like those lakes I saw along the way through lowlands, but much cleaner¡­ How had dad called it? T?rml water?


    The maid swiftly scrubbed me down with a warm washcloth before leading me to the pool. I carefully dipped my toe in the water and was surprised by how warm the water was. Almost as hot as a bath. The air surrounding it had been quite warm, but I hadn¡¯t realise that it came from the water itself.


    I slowly lowered myself into the water and felt warm bubbles tickle my side as I did.


    This felt completely different from a normal bath! It felt so big, so free.


    Fiora swam back toward me and started saying something excitedly.


    As usual, I didn¡¯t understand a peep, but she took me by the hand regardless and started swimming further into the shallow bath. I struggled to keep up as I walked behind her. I tripped and went head first into the water.


    I instinctively tried to inhale from my nose, but instead of air, water filled my nostrils. I panicked and started pullin on her and kicking my feet as I searched for the ground.


    It felt like forever before she eventually stopped pulling me along, allowing me to grab on to her. I pulled myself up and was finally able to breath. I coughed as my throat seized up over and over again as I tried breathing in fresh air.


    With an expression filled with guilt, Fiora carefully pulled me to the side of the pool where I was finally able to let go of her and hold on to the stone floor. She looked at me with worried eyes, but I was just confused about what just happened.


    One moment I was fine, the other I couldn¡¯t breath. It was a terrible feeling. I felt tears well up in my eyes.


    I was so scared. I felt so powerless. Unable to even find the floor¡­


    Fiora patted my back until I calmed down. She tried to pull me back toward the water, but I resisted; worried I¡¯d really drown this time. She released her grip on my arm and smiled. She made a flat area with her left palm, and used her right hand to show two legs walking on it.


    Does she mean we can just walk across the bottom? She won¡¯t throw me off my feet again, will she?


    I hesitantly let go of the side of the wall and held on to Fiora as we walked across the warm water, we walked like this until we reached the other side of the misty pool where the pool once more turned shallow. We could easily sit down and I was finally able to just enjoy the warm water washing over me. I leaned against a rock and simply relaxed my body as I looked up at the open sky where I could see trees peek out from above the walls of the pool.


    I wonder how they filled up such a large bath in the first place¡­ And even more so, how do they heat up so much water? Even filling up and heating enough for a tub had taken Milie enough time to have a meal. But this was no small tub, it would have taken days to heat up the whole thing, and I can¡¯t imagine how long it would take to fill it up from a well¡­


    But then again, if it was the same as those ¡®thermal source¡¯ we had seen across our travels, wouldn¡¯t the water already be warm¡­.?


    Mmmh¡­ I¡¯ll ask dad later.


    We enjoyed ourselves in the bath for a while before the maid  eventually told us to come out. We dried ourselves with the blanket and the maid helped us to wrap it around our hair. We then sat around the ember pit at the center of the hut.


    I closed my eyes as the embers flickered. The contrast between the warmth of the bath and this dry heat was strangely soothing.


    After a bit, I looked around curiously. From the amount of benches, this place could hold a lot of people. I wonder where they are right now?


    The heat of the ember quickly dried our skin and before long, I started feeling sweaty and walked away from the ember. The maid helped me put my clothes back on as Fiora came and did the same.


    As we left the hut, the feeling of the cool wind on my skin took on new intonations. As though it was breathing for the first time.


    We took it slow as we explored the forest some more on our horses, but before long we were jumping over fallen trees and stone creeks, looking for some more excitement.


    She led the way out of the forest back toward the other side of the castle. The place we reached was far different from the other. For one, it was packed with people, which was in sharp contrast to the rest of the garden and forest that had been relatively empty. But they weren¡¯t any type of people either. Men and women, clad in leather uniforms and holding weapons. Some were practising movements in groups, while others spar against targets, dummies or even each other.


    It was a strange sight. I¡¯d heard of this type of place, a training ground, and I¡¯d seen knights sparring during our journey north, but never had I seen so many at once. It felt strange to see so much movement, there was a pattern to their movement, a sort of rhythm, almost as though they were dancing.


    I felt mesmerised by their grace, but at the same time, somewhat confused. Why were there so many of them? Were there even enough bad people for these knights to fight?


    Fiora tapped me on the shoulder and when I turned to her she started asking me something while gesticulating.


    I guess she forgot that I can¡¯t hear her again¡­


    She tilted her head as though waiting for a response. Not wanting to be bothered with having her ask me again in some other way, I simply nodded at the question which resulted in a wide smile drawing itself across her face.


    She took me by the hand and dragged me back to the inner courtyard.


    She pointed at a spot some distance from her. I  walked to it, but once I turned back, I was surprised to find her holding the horse stick up, as though it was a sword.


    I was taken aback for a moment.


    Oh! I guess she wants to  play knights now! I never played that type of game, but I saw kids at the orphanage do it before.


    I raised my horse-now-sword and received an approving nod from Fiona.


    She looked serious as she readjusted her position. She closed her eyes and said something out loud.


    I couldn¡¯t hear what she said obviously, but almost as soon as she finished the last syllable; I felt a strange pressure work its way up from the bottom of my spine. my jaw tensed up followed by my arms and legs. A strange warmth came up my throat and slowly my field of vision narrowed until I could only Fiona before me.


    My mind became blank, all the laughter and excitement of the day erased.


    There was only one thing left.


    The urge to fight.

 Side Story 6. To control or not to control (Jace)

    ¡°Well, it¡¯s busted, Miss Scorn!¡±


    I sighed.


    ¡°It¡¯s Jace, Milord¡­ And what¡¯s busted?¡±


    I asked as I perched myself on the side of the carriage to look down to where the strange green fat man was sitting by the carriage.


    ¡°The wheel, that''s what! Four spokes, burst all in one swoop! My, how unlucky...¡±


    I felt the corner of my eye twitch.


    A Diidkin out of luck¡­ I feel played with.


    Only a few minutes ago, we were still merrily on our way to Sunvale, when our carriage had come to an abrupt stop, nearly throwing everything off the carriage. I¡¯d assumed we had gotten stuck somewhere, but now a busted wheel¡­


    I looked down at him in confusion.


    ¡°Did you¡­. How did that even happen?¡±


    ¡°Who knows! Things like that just do, Miss Jace. One moment you¡¯re gaining speed, finding shortcuts and then the other, BANG half your wheel turns to smithereens! Perhaps a bird can make a nest with what¡¯s left, but we sure aren¡¯t rolling on it!¡±


    Something in what he said made me squint.


    ¡°Shortcuts¡­ On a flat road?¡±


    I asked suspiciously as I looked around.


    By all means, we had simply been riding around the lake for days now, how could he possibly have taken shortcuts¡­? Unless¡­


    ¡°Wait¡­ You haven¡¯t been using your blessing¡­ Have you?


    ¡°Do fish swim? Do birds fly? Do eggshells provide a surprisingly good source of calcium to supplement one¡¯s diet?¡±


    I could feel myself fuming.


    ¡°How in Seeir¡¯s name, did you think that was a good idea?!¡±


    I burst out. This man had finally worn down my patience.


    ¡°Well, the first thing I did was to not consider Seeir in the equation¡­¡±


    I let out an annoyed scream before slapping the back of the man¡¯s round head.


    I felt the fat underneath his skin bounce under my palm which made my stomach churn as I immediately regretted my action.


    Why were Diidkins so¡­ Odd.


    He let out a hearty laugh before turning back his attention to the wheel.


    ¡°So, can it be fixed?¡±


    I asked in a defeated tone.


    He shook his head.


    ¡°Not without any tools. We¡¯ll need to walk to the next town.¡±


    I let out an exhausted sigh.


    ¡°I paid you to drive me to Sunvale, not to walk me there.¡±


    He laughed as though I had just told him a joke but I remained unflinching.


    I was thoroughly unamused.


    ¡°Well, you could always wait around, although¡­ Who knows how long it will take me to come back?¡±


    In other words, it might take several days and I would be left to fend for myself.


    I let out another sigh.


    ¡°So we¡¯re heading back?¡±


    ¡°Of course not! We must fend forward!¡±


    ¡°But we don¡¯t know how far the next village is¡­¡±


    ¡°Never fear! One surely awaits us in the near future!¡±


    He declared as he jumped to his feet.


    ¡°I¡¯ve never feared anything in my life¡­ Until now that is.¡±


    I grumbled as I stepped off the carriage.


    ¡°You flatter me, Scorny.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s Jace¡­¡±


    Under the blazing sun we walked along the coast for hours. It was unbearable, the heat, the sweat, the buzzing of insects¡­ Insufferable.


    I could feel my skin scraping painfully against itself at each of my joints from the dried sweat, my throat parched and aching from the heat¡­


    ¡­And, somehow, through all this, Milord happily whistled his way down the rocky path with not a care in the world. He pranced about, making the edge of his clothes flap happily in the wind and the soft skin of his protruding belly jiggle like jelly.


    How could he look so carefree?


    I slipped on a stone and landed painfully on my knee.


    "Shit!"


    I let out in a pained hiss.


    "Miss Scorn! Are you alright?"


    "For Seeir''s sake Milord! It''s Jace! Jace!"


    "Okay, okay. Miss Jace, are you alright?"


    I looked down at my dress now completely caked in dirt. I could feel tears running to my eyes.


    "Gods¡­ I''m just so..."


    I put my face in my hands in defeat.


    A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    "Alright, alright, take my hand for now Miss Jace. Let''s get you cleaned up."


    He led me down a path where a creek spilt into the lake.


    I looked at him as he poured a small amount of water on the hem of my dress and tried to brush away the muddy result with his thumb as he continued humming calmly.


    At this point I was so tired that it didn¡¯t annoy me anymore, it was simply so absurd to me that it turned into genuine curiosity.


    "How do you do it, Milord?"


    "How do I do what, Jacey girl?"


    "How do you keep so calm all the time?"


    I said as I looked at our surroundings, the very center of nowhere. Not a tree in miles, only grass, shrubs, water and insects. My skin stinging from sunburns, my legs screaming in pain and my head buzzing with a thousand worries.


    "Well¡­¡±


    I braced myself for the sheer idiocy that was about to come out of his mouth.


    ¡°...The first step is to acknowledge what is within your control and what is not.¡±


    I frowned.


    This seemed like a strangely reflected answer.


    ¡°How would that help?¡±


    His face flattened into a wide smile.


    "Ah, but you see, that¡¯s EXACTLY what it won¡¯t do. It won¡¯t help or more specifically; YOU won¡¯t be able help.¡±


    I won¡¯t be able to help? What is he even talking about?


    ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    ¡°You see, Jace, you have an illness. A common one, but still, it consumes your every thought and emotion; you¡¯re a child in an woman¡¯s body.¡±


    I recoiled in anger.


    Me? A child?


    ¡°How dare you¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh don¡¯t take it wrong, Miss Jace. We are all children in here.¡±


    He said as he poked his temple.


    ¡°We¡¯re just different type of children. Some of us were spoiled with care, others with wisdom, while others were spoiled with a little bit of both, or not enough of either.¡±


    He chuckled to himself.


    ¡°It¡¯s very rare we¡¯re blessed with plenty of both, and I¡¯d hazard a guess, my dear, that you are the opposite and lacked either. This made you into you. A capable girl, certainly, but also one that knows only to please.¡±


    I narrowed my eyes.


    ¡°Only capable of pleaseing? Are you implying I don¡¯t have a will of my own?¡±


    He let out a loud laugh.


    ¡°HAHAHA! Not at all! If anything, you probably seek independence more than most of us! But, contrary to others, you cannot do away with your need to act on what you believe needs to be done.¡±


    ¡°Then tell me, what wrong does THAT do?¡±


    He stood up from his crouching position and stretched.


    ¡°There is a common misunderstanding that, since we are thinking beings capable of free will, we are responsible for everything that happens around us. That, of course, is absurd. From the very moment we are born, we lack the choice of IF we are to be.¡±


    He held out a hand to help me back to my feet.


    ¡°So the first step to be at peace is to understand that we are simply a leaf in the breeze, and not the wind carrying it. You are not in control of everything around you, and that¡¯s simply the nature of life.¡±


    I arched my brow.


    ¡°Awfully pious of a thing to say, especially coming from you.¡±


    He chuckled.


    ¡°Can¡¯t a man make a metaphor about trees without it being a reference to the Creator?¡±


    I scoffed.


    ¡°No, no they can¡¯t.¡±


    The green man exploded in laughter and winked at me.


    ¡±Contrary to what some might say, not caring is not the talent of the dim, but of the wise.¡±


    We resumed our walk down the coast.


    I mused on his words. Giving up control¡­


    No that¡¯s not what he meant.


    It¡¯s more about admitting that we never had control in the first place.


    But what is it that I take for granted that I have control over? For my entire life I was powerless, unable to do anything without explicit permission, but now¡­ Now that I¡¯m finally free¡­


    What is it that I¡¯m missing? What am I seeking to control according to him?


    I looked up at Milord who was walking a few paces in front of me.


    What is it that he does that I don''t understand?


    The day turned into evening, with no towns in sight.


    ¡°ALRIGHT! Not a step further!¡±


    Milord declared loudly.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong, your feet hurting?¡±


    I asked him confused.


    ¡°Nay, Jayce Jace! Night approaches and I crave sustenance!¡±


    I let out a sigh.


    ¡°We don¡¯t have any food, Milord.¡±


    ¡°What is that I hear? Are you perhaps under the impression that you are the sole holder of sustenance in this world, Scorny? Mmmh? Perhaps you think you control how, when and where one may eat as well? Were my eyes playing trick and you are in fact the goddess of eating?¡±


    I clicked my tongue.


    ¡°That¡¯s not what I¡¯m saying.¡±


    I said, narrowing my eyes in annoyance.


    ¡°You still don¡¯t get it, Jace! You need to let go of this absurd preconception that YOU are the sole creator of your destiny!¡±


    He turned around and stared at the sky.


    ¡°Live! Let live! Food is given to those who seek it!¡±


    He screamed out before frolicking away down the hill while humming a tune.


    ¡°This kin is insane¡­¡±


    I followed him down a path that led through the thick bushes all the way down.


    We reached a small plateau giving unto the lake. Milord walked right up to the edge and turned to me.


    ¡°Let me demonstrate!¡±


    And with all the grace of an overweight donkey, he jumped down his platform and plummeted down like a rock into the shallow waters.


    And then nothing.


    Confused I approached the water, and just as I started getting worried about how long he¡¯d beed down there, he emerged with a loud splash sending cold dropplets hurling into my face.


    ¡°HA HA HA HA! See?!¡±


    I tilted my head as i watched him swimming in place.


    ¡°You found some food?¡±


    ¡°Not at all! But the water is to die for!¡±


    I felt my shoulders drop.


    ¡°I really don¡¯t know what I expected¡­¡±


    ¡°Oh come on Jacey Jace! You were just complaining about being sweaty! And your clothes are a mess already anyway!¡±


    Taking a dip, was that what he was suggesting?


    I looked at the water hesitantly, which made me recoil in surprise. Why was I even considering it?


    ¡­But why not? Was that what he was talking about earlier?


    Wait¡­ Was this all a trick on his part? Or was I just playing into his game by being so torn over this?


    Oh gods, I¡¯m way over thinking this¡­


    I took off my boots and let my feet dip into the cool water as Milord stared at me with a dumb smile.


    ¡°Disappointed?¡±


    I asked him, but he shook his head.


    ¡°Not at all! You are doing exactly what you want, that¡¯s the very essence of what we¡¯ve been talking about!¡±


    I arched my brow.


    ¡°Am I not exercising control by only doing this much?¡±


    ¡°Are you?¡±


    He simply responded as he pushed himself on his back and lazily floated as he looked up at the sky.


    ¡°Or are you perhaps giving up control by doing exactly what you want?¡±


    Uh.


    I let out a soft chuckle.


    So that¡¯s what he meant.


    I felt a weight lifted off my shoulder. A simple conclusion, but one worth musing over.


    Suddenly, Milord sunk back beneath the surface and reemerged a moment later.


    ¡°AH HA! I got it!¡±


    He said as he held a trout above his head.


    ¡°What in Diid¡¯s name?! How did you catch that!¡±


    I screamed in surprise as I quickly got to my feet¡±


    ¡°HA HA HA HA! I GOT NO IDEA! HAHA HA HA!¡±


    And that¡¯s how our day on the road concluded. Eating a freshly grilled trout around a warm campfire on Lake Alenia¡¯s coast as the sun sunk below the horizon.


    The next day, we found a town only an hour¡¯s walk from our camp. Usually I would have been frustrated at having given up so close to our goal, but right now, these worries were far in the back of my mind.


    It took us some time to retrieve Milord¡¯s carriage and fix it up, but time flew by and within a week, we finally reached our destination; Sunvale.

 72. Faith to fathom

    ¡°Thank you for this, Isola. This was incredibly helpful.¡±


    I said as I put down the now empty cup of tea.


    ¡°You¡¯re welcome, Marshall. I wish I could tell you more, but my only experience in the matter is my aunt.¡±


    My tea time with Isola had been most productive. Although her aunt¡¯s situation was not nearly as severe as Silika, perhaps due to her age, it served as a good point of reference and gave me many avenues to explore.


    ¡°That¡¯s more than most have been able to share. I¡¯m very grateful.¡±


    ¡°I suggest you send her a letter. She may be able to give you more information.¡±


    ¡°I certainly will.¡±


    Suddenly the door behind us swung open.


    ¡°My lady! My lord! Please you have to come, the girls they are¡­!¡±


    I immediately jumped to my feet.


    Did something happen? Damn! I knew the horse game was a bad idea! She¡¯s probably having another attack!


    No¡­No¡­


    Fiora said they didn¡¯t have any crop. Silika already said she was fine with horses alone. Something else must be going on.


    ¡°Where?!¡±


    ¡°The garden! The girls they¡­! The young lady went berserk!¡±


    The maid tried to explain as she led the way down the corridor.


    ¡°Berserk?! What in Steihnners'' name happened?¡±


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure¡­ I wasn¡¯t around when it started¡­  But I think Lady Fiora tried to duel Lady Silika as part of their play.¡±


    She tried to explain as we ran down the hall toward the garden.


    ¡°A duel?! And she went berserk on Silika?!¡±


    I yelled indignant, what was this Fiora girl thinking? As I started hearing screams up ahead.


    ¡°No, my lord, you¡¯re mistaken! It¡¯s not Lady Fiora who went berserk! It¡¯s¡­¡±


    I swung open the door to the garden before she could finish her sentence.


    The scene before us was surreal.


    On the floor, bloodied, was Fiora shielding her injured face, her dress ripped in several places. Just a few feet in front of her, a maid was trying to hold back an Silika whose face was contorted with blind fury and her hands formed into fists.


    ¡°Please, my lady! The fight is over! You have to stop!¡±


    ¡°HHHHHHHRAAAAAAAEEEGGGGGG!!!! HRAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!¡±


    Shrill guttural screams were pouring out of Silika¡¯s throat as she tried to wrestle out of the maid¡¯s hold.


    ¡°Steihnner guards us¡­¡±


    I rushed forward and tried to pick up Silika but she swiftly threw a kick to my stomach, driving the air out of my lung.


    I managed to hold on to her by wrapping my arms around her and squeezing her agains my chest, as she continued kicking and punching.


    I tried to summon a blessing to shield myself, but my mind was all over.


    ¡°What the hell happened here?!¡±


    I screamed in Fiora¡¯s direction as Isola tended to the girl.


    ¡°I¨C We were just playing! Playing knights¡­¡±


    ¡°So you just hit her?! What in Meiriem¡¯s name were you thinking!¡±


    ¡°Marshall!¡±


    Isola cut me off.


    ¡°She¡¯s a child.¡±


    I looked back at Fiora and I could tell she was terrorised and confused.There wasn¡¯t much of the proud young lady I had met yesterday in the little girl crying in front of me.


    I took a deep breath. Isola¡¯s right, this won¡¯t help.


    Silika was still punching, screaming and kicking in my arms, but I tried to control my tone as I spoke again.


    ¡°Fiora, listen. You can¡¯t just hit someone that doesn¡¯t even know what game you¡¯re playing.¡±


    ¡°But I didn¡¯t hit her!¡±


    I furrowed my brows.


    ¡°What do you mean ¡®you didn¡¯t hit her¡¯?¡±


    ¡°I didn¡¯t! I swear I didn¡¯t! We were getting ready and then when I started the blessing¡­¡±


    ¡°Wait, you requested an honourable duel?¡±


    I asked as I felt Silika deliver yet another vicious punch to my guts.


    Fiora nodded as tears continued flowing from her eyes. I looked up at Isola who also had come to the same conclusion.


    She turned to a servant.


    ¡°Get a Kinsmann immediately. She¡¯s has scorched blood.¡±


    I gave her a thankful nod as I focused on holding on to Silika.


    Scorched blood.


    No one was quite sure what caused it or why it manifested. It wasn¡¯t caused by the blood and wasn¡¯t accompanied by any other ailment or symptoms, but it was believed that roughly one in twenty mann was affected by it. The only consistency was that scorched blood individuals had a tendency for anger outburst.


    As for what it does¡­ Well it¡¯s as it looked. It caused uncontrollable rage when one is touched by Steihnners blessings.


    A rectangular woman in blue robes wearing a half crown with an inverted horn, the undeniable looks of a kinsmann of Steihnner,  arrived at the scene and made a beeline for me.


    She extended her arms toward Silika and I let go of my grip on her.


    Immediately, Silika¡¯s eyes darted for the woman as she begun swinging at her, but before her fist could land, the kinsmann brought both her hands down and, in one swift motion, forced Silika to her knees. The woman closed her eyes and begun quietly praying as Silika tried her best to escape the iron grip. Unbeknownst to her, it was a futile attempt. Few were those who could rival the strength of the ardent followers of the God of War.


    Slowly, Silika¡¯s scream grew weaker, as did her punches. After a few minutes she simply remained in that kneeled position while aggressively huffing and puffing.


    A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    ¡°Child, can you hear me?¡±


    The kinsmann asked in a surprising soothing tone.


    ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Mother. My daughter is deaf. Only I can speak to her.¡±


    She nodded understandingly.


    ¡°Then do so, child.¡±


    I nodded back and placed myself in front of Silika.


    -Silika? Can you see me?-


    Her eyes darted around angrily, not acknowledging my question.


    -Silika, please. Can you understand what I¡¯m asking?-


    She looked at my hands with an almost confused expression for a moment as her face twitches with waves of anger.


    She tried to bring her hands together to form words but she looked to restless to form the careful signs.


    -Just nod, honey. It¡¯s okay, everything¡¯s fine. Can you understand me?-


    She nodded strongly as her face twitched again. Her arm reeled back for a moment as if preparing for a punch before dropping to her side again. Obviously she wasn¡¯t completely back fto normal.


    -Are you hurt?-


    She looked up at me  with an angry yet confused expression, baring her teeth as she did,  before shaking her head.


    -Good. Try to stay calm. Everything will be fine.-


    She looked down at her hands and tried to sign to me.


    -I¨C I need to¡­-


    She struggled to steady her hands.


    -I. Need. To. Hit. Something.-


    -No, Silika. You don¡¯t.-


    -Yes. I. Do.-


    I let out a sigh.


    ¡°What¡¯s wrong, child?¡±


    The kinsmann asked from over her shoulder.


    I hesitated for a moment.


    ¡°She wants to punch something.¡±


    The kinsmann sneered.


    ¡°Well I think she¡¯s punched enough, don¡¯t you think?¡±


    I let out a dry laugh before signing back to Silika.


    -Silika. Remember yesterday. What did we say about punching people?-


    There was a wave of convoluted emotions that ran through her face.


    -It¡¯s. Bad.-


    -Right, now look at Fiora over there.-


    I said as I pointed to the bloodied girl some distance away.


    She wasn¡¯t crying anymore but she still looked shook.


    -Did¡­ Did I do that?-


    Silika asked.


    I nodded and slowly her shoulders slumped and her breathing steadied.


    She looked around for a bit as though she had just woke up from a dream.


    -I¨C I didn¡¯t mean to¡­I¡­!-


    Tears started welling up in her eyes as the reality of the situation sunk in.


    -I know, Silika.-


    -You¨C We¡­ We were just playing and then¨C And then things just became dark and I couldn¡¯t think properly¡­ I¨C I¡­¨C


    -I know, Silika. I know. It¡¯s not your fault.-


    -But I hurt Fiora! How did I even do that¡­-


    She looked toward the other young girl who was now completely back in character, standing arms crossed proudly.


    Silika tried to pull away to go see her, but the Kinsmann held her in place.


    ¡°I believe she¡¯s back to normal, Mother.¡±


    I said to the woman beside me.


    The kinsmann acquiesced and released her hold on Silika.


    -We¡¯ll talk later, but for now, why don¡¯t you apologise to Fiora?-


    Silika Nodded strongly and ran to Fiora. She bent her head down as she signed her apology to which Fiora responded.


    ¡°You bested me within the honourable bounds of the duel I requested. I have only myself to blame for this humiliation.¡±


    Silika looked at her with a confused expression before turning to me for some kind of explanation.


    I scratched my head for a second. Translating this into a couple hand signals was completely beyond my abilities.


    -She said she¡¯s not angry.-


    Silika made a surprised expression and nodded energetically she turned to Fiora and hugged her strongly. For once the typically stern looking child looked completely flustered.


    ¡°It¡¯s good that the children are fine, sire, but I fear that we must speak.¡±


    The kinsmann said to me.


    I nodded understandingly and dusted my knees as I stood up from the ground.


    I turned to Isola who nodded in understanding and escorted the girl inside.


    ¡°I can¡¯t thank you enough for your help, Mother.¡±


    ¡°Think nothing of it. I¡¯m simply fulfilling my purpose to Steihnner and his people. We, on the other hand, must discuss your purpose to your daughter.¡±


    I nodded.


    ¡°It isn¡¯t my place to tell you how to raise your daughter, and even less what  belief you should incult in her, but her faith is lacking.¡±


    She said as she turned northward, looking on to the distant mountains that separated us from the Heillhs Empite, the residence of Steihnner.


    ¡°I know. She¡¯s a strong believer of Scorn, though I admit that her knowledge is still lacking.


    She shook her head at my answer.


    ¡°Faith is not about knowledge. It¡¯s about feeling the presence of the gods within out hearts.¡±


    ¡°I know, Mother¡­¡±


    ¡°She must be taught to believe, child. The north is unforgiving to those weak in faith. Especially one suffering from scorched blood.¡±


    She closed her eyes and lowered her head in a silent prayer for a moment before raising it again and facing me.


    ¡°You can only guide her in the ways of mann. It would be wise to stoke the fire of faith in her heart. Lest more incident such as today happen in the future.¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ll take your word to heart, Kinsmann.¡±


    She nodded and left without another word.


    I sighed.


    Faith, uh? It was something I very much lacked myself. It was only a flicker in the horizon of my mind. Something I had started teaching her mostly out of expectation that she should learn the ways of the gods and not out of necessity¡­


    ¡­And yet all the signs to the opposite were there. Her doubts, her fears, her outbursts, and now scorched blood.


    Contrary to contemporary secular philosopher would have you believe. The gods, their rules and their teachings were not some antiquated method to enslave the masses. They were a mean to end. A way to guide the confused, heal the wounded and sustain the pioneers.


    Faith provides knowledge, of course. Knowledge of history, of our strength, of our weaknesses and, of course, of our blessings, but it also serves another purpose.


    Something abstract. It provides certainty. Certainty of the strength of our heart infiability¡­


    Something I still lacked greatly myself.


    It seems I have much work to do once we reach Clotop than I originally thought.


    I must become respectable. I must become a father to Silika.


    A few days passed and the time of our departure came to a head. We were still to meet the rest of the caravan at the frontier to Norland. From the letters I had received they hadn¡¯t reached Silver Raft River yet, so it wouldn¡¯t  too long before we met up.


    ¡°You¡¯re leaving so soon, brother. Are you sure Silika and you have rested enough to take the high road again?¡±


    I laughed.


    Coming from the same Evelyne who had urged me to do the opposite just a few days ago¡­ It could have been construed as sarcastic, but there was a glint of something else.


    Hesitation, worry, doubt maybe.


    ¡°We must be on our way, Armein. Fall will fall before we reach home otherwise.¡±


    ¡°Well you¡¯re always welcome here, Marshall.¡±


    Isola assured me as she held her wife¡¯s arm. Almost to reassure Evelyne more than I.


    ¡°Of course. We¡¯ll definitely come visit sooner rather than late. You should come visit us in Clotop as well.¡±


    ¡°That needs no say. I¡¯m sure Isola will drag me to your darn city and its market sooner rather than later.¡±


    The countess said with a snort earning her a stomp on the foot from Isola.


    Fiora approached Silika and held out her hands.


    ¡°I look forward to our next encounter Silika Ashbrook of Clotop. I will not be bested next time.¡±


    Silika smiled and hugged the girl instead of shaking the extended hand.


    ¡°AH! Stop! Stopstopstop! This is completely undignified! You are my rival, Silika! Rival aren¡¯t supposed to hug! STOOOOOOOOOOP!¡±


    Silika who couldn¡¯t hear any of this continued hugging her for a long while as Fiora loudly protested.


    Evelyn walked up to me and extended a hand of her own. I grasped it and she bent forward, her lips almost touching my ear.


    ¡°I¡¯ve received word that rumors of Silika are spreading. It won¡¯t be long before it reaches the Duke ears. I will head north for the winter assembly, but you must be careful in the meantime. There is no telling how the other lords will react.¡±


    I nodded seriously at the warning. I had hoped to announce the existence of his grand-daughter to the duke on my own term, but I may not be allowed the luxury.


    She released my arm and walked back to her wife.


    Fiora was finally able to pull herself out of Silika¡¯s embrace.


    -Let¡¯s play again soon! You sore loser!-


    Silika signed to her new friend.


    Fiora turned to me, now used to my role as an interpreter.


    ¡°She said you should come play in Clotop next time.¡±


    I said, avoiding to mention Silika¡¯s provocation.


    ¡°Mhph! Then Clotop will be the place of our next duel then!¡±


    And with that, our passage through Jilbeck¡¯s Crossing came to an end.


    Ahead of us, a mere fortnight away, Clotop awaits.

 Side story 7. Gods Affairs Part 1

    ¡°A¡¯ight kins! Vacation¡¯s ovah. Ye got business to attend.¡±


    Galvian fell from his perch by the window, surprised, as the Aleniakin swung the door open. I simply got up from my seat and faced the woman.


    ¡°What¡¯s going on, Galeishia?¡±


    I asked as I tried my best not to look like I had just been napping as I wiped the tears at the corner of my eyes.


    ¡°Ye both have an appointment a¡¯ the temple be¡¯ore the next bell. Also from now on it¡¯s ¡®Archkinsmann¡¯ Galeishia, ai¡¯ght?¡±


    ¡°You¡¯re an Archkinsmann?¡±


    Galvian asked dumbly.


    ¡°Do it ma¡¯er? We headin¡¯ out. Pack your things, ye ain¡¯t comin¡¯ back.¡±


    We hurriedly packed our bags and followed behind Galeishia as she guided us through the narrow streets of the overgrown city while doing our best to avoid crossing paths with anyone else. It came off as a bit odd since we¡¯d been walking freely around town for the last few weeks now. If our existence had to have been a secret, shouldn¡¯t it have started earlier than now? I knew better than to question a superior officer during what I assume was finally our mission, but the suspicion remained. It would be wise to be on our toes.


    I noticed we kept going deeper and higher into the city and as I tried to visualise where we might be heading, I realised there was only one possible destination; Alenia¡¯s temple.


    As the vine-laced pillars supporting the vaulted roof of the temple came into view, Galeishia guided us around the side of the tall foundations through a delivery depot at the back.


    Surprisingly, even though it was midday, the warehouse area was completely empty and as I delved further, it became increasingly glaring that we weren¡¯t coming across anyone in the stone corridors as we made our way inward, and by the time we arrived at the main hall, I realised the entire temple was completely devoid of people.


    Stunned to see such a place empty, I inadvertently slowed down my pace as I took in the sights. As opposed to the churches and temples in the city, this place wasn¡¯t made of carefully carved stone blocks or vaulted arches. Instead it appeared as though mountains of stones had been dropped in place and then carved into smooth walls. Thick roots descended from the ceiling along them in patterns resembling that of a fish net. I touched the roots and found them equally as smooth as the wall, as though each part of this structured had been polished for days.


    ¡°Kin, sorry t¡¯ interrupt ye, bu¡¯ we on schedule.¡±


    Galeishia called out, pulling me out of my daydreaming and turned away from the wall.


    We followed her deeper into the temple and were eventually led to a gate that seemed to be composed of intertwined roots. The Aleniakin placed her hand at the center and uttered a short prayer. To my surprise, the roots began untangling themselves until they had completed receded into the walls, revealing a large room with a single cone of light coming from the vaulted ceiling.


    At the bottom of which, under the incandescent sunlight piercing the darkness, stood two kinsmanns¡­


    ¡­Or so I thought until we got closer.


    Although the one one who stood a bit to the side was definitely an Aleniakin, the woman standing at the very center, was something entirely different.


    She looked like a cross between a plant and a kin. Her skin earth tinted skin was completely covered in root-like growths which followed the natural curves of her bones and muscles. They didn¡¯t look as though they had grown on top of it, instead it looked like it was the skin that had grown from it, like a spider¡¯s web precariously staying in place, and wherever her skin came visible, the web of veins that composed her body shone a soft blue light from underneath, as though her very blood contained unknown power. She was towering, easily a head taller than the tallest mann I¡¯d ever met, and yet her frame was slim and gracious. Her hair may have been similar to the other Aleniakins, but the single eye I could see peek from beneath shone in surreal greens and reds.


    You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.


    Her visible eye turned to us and I witnessed her tree like apendages shift as she turned to face us, something not so dissimilar to the way the kins blessing had acted, but all the more surreal as it was now part of someone¡¯s body.


    ¡°Lady of the Endless Fields.¡±


    Galeishia said with reverence in her voice as she took a knee.


    My blood ran cold immediately and I reflexively imitated Galeishia followed immediately by Galvian and cast down my sight.


    Lady of the Endless Fields was not some sort ceremonial title.


    It was HER title.


    Alenia, the Goddess of Harvest.


    ¡°Stand, children. We will speak.¡±


    Spoken with the authority and certainty of one beyond mortal blood.


    Galeishia nodded and signaled for us to follow the goddess¡¯ words.


    ¡°Thank ye, yer eminence. These the kins you¡¯ve requested ta meet.¡±


    ¡°Very well, child. Leave and prepare.¡±


    ¡°Of course, yer eminence.¡±


    With that, Galvian and I were left alone with a goddess and what I could only assume to be the matriarch at her side while my mind was spinning. What is this? Why are we meeting Alenia? Why does she need us? I thought this assignment was supposed to be a punishment, and now we¡¯re getting acquainted to the one of the most important deity of our times? What¡¯s going?


    Beyond these logical thoughts, the glee of meeting a deity in the flesh was almost overwhelming. I felt like if I was to speak a single word I might break down into tears. The memories of my baptism long behind me, I never thought I would be in such a presence again, and yet here I was. Standing right under her gaze, her lips smiling softly at me.


    The thought that I should throw away my own faith and give her my utmost piety even crossed my mind much so my shame. Although¡­ Little shame could I feel when within her glorious presence.


    ¡°Galvian Duree, Hersia Okavlon. Knights of the grey order, I require your service.¡±


    ¡°We are at your service, your eminence!¡±


    Galvian declared as he gave a soldier¡¯s salute.


    I gritted my teeth at the thought that I could only follow up on his diligence.


    ¡°What can we do for you, your eminence?¡±


    I managed to follow up with equal gusto, almost letting a smile draw itself on my lips.


    Alenia continued smiling as she extended her hand to the woman at her side and as she did her lips parted to grace us with more of her words.


    ¡°You will rob me.¡±


    The almost smile on my face immediately turned to an incredulous expression.


    ¡°Rob you, your eminence..?¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s right. Specifically, you will rob me of this.¡±


    She extended her hand to the kinsmann at her side who produced an object wrapped in cloth and placed it in the goddess wooden hands.


    She considered the object for a moment, before bending forward. The sight along felt heretical. Alenia, the mother of my mother¡¯s bloodline, bowing in front of me. She delicately placed the object on the floor before standing proud once more.


    Galvian and I exchanged a glance of confusion before I kneeled down to ¡®rob¡¯ the goddess before us.


    As I did, part of the canvas slipped, exposing a golden rod, engraved with words out of legends.


    Galvian swore under his breath and I froze in my stride.


    This was no trinkets.


    The golden rod, the words etched into it. This was the Holloways cane. The Alenian artifact stolen by the deposed Duke of Sunbarrow, stolen again by Alenian marty Esvelna of the Greenpew River, before being taken once more by the heretical Duke, and finally being returned to the Aleniakins as a symbol of reparation after their forced exile.


    Robbing this¡­ It would fan the fire of conflict between the Aleniakins and Sunbarrow, if not all of western Firsland.


    ¡°Your eminence¡­!¡±


    I begun to protest, but caught myself.


    This mission WAS our punishment after all¡­ And these were our orders.


    ¡°...It will be done.¡±


    I said instead as I bowed my head.


    ¡°You will take it to His house.¡±


    She said the word, as though it was not just a word but a name.


    ¡°His house, your eminence?¡±


    She nodded.


    ¡°My child, Galeishia, has shown you the way.¡±


    My eyes lit up. The dead god¡¯s sanctum!


    I folded the canvas over the visible part of the rod and bowed to the goddess before us.


    ¡°We¡¯ve arranged for da theft te only be discovered a half day from now. Ye shoul¡¯ be safe te da sanctum but ye shoul be warry on ye journey out through Sunbarrow.¡±


    The kinnsman at her side explained.


    I nodded and hid the rod inside my jacket and bowed once more.


    ¡°It was an honour to meet you, your eminence.¡±


    Galvian said which was only acknowledged by a slight nod on the goddess part.


    Without another word, we left the room and the door wrapped itself closed behind us.

 73. Welcome to the north

    ¡°Mom! Have some of this! It¡¯s really tasty!¡±


    ¡°Oh¡­? Where did you get that, Blue?


    ¡°A nice man gave it to me!¡±


    ¡°Uhmm¡­ It¡¯s okay, I¡¯m not really hungry.¡±


    ¡°Really?¡±


    ¡°Yes. I¡¯ll eat later.¡±


    The girl in front of me struggled to not show the overgrown child just how motion sick she was as she kindly responded to him with a forced smile on her face.


    It was a strange scene to watch. The two appeared to be around the same age and yet¡­


    -So¡­ Dad?-


    Silika signed.


    -Yes?-


    -Who are those two?-


    Silika asked as she glanced at the pair sitting with us in the carriage.


    -That¡¯s Sarah and Blue.-


    -And who are they¡­?-


    She insisted, glancing at them with a worried expression.


    I looked at the pair, and the woman noticing my glance politely smiled at me before turning back to her ¡®son¡¯.


    Before we rejoined with the main caravan, I had generally skirted the topic of the feral attack and our assault on their colony, but it had proved impossible.


    Once we rejoined the caravan before crossing over to Norland, Silika started noticing things. For one, many of the carriages were different, having been repaired or replaced after the attack. For two, between the people who were injured or died, we were far fewer than when she was separated from us¡­


    And the nail in the coffin was when she took notice of the carriage carrying the caskets¡­


    -They are the people we rescued from the Ferals.-


    I opted to answer simply.


    She straightened up in an instant.


    -Really?! They were prisoners?!-


    Well, Sarah was¡­ Blue not so much¡­


    I nodded as I smiled awkwardly, very conscious of the half truth I gave her.


    After the raid on the Feral¡¯s lair, we hadn¡¯t really known what to do with Blue. Technically he was a Bastard and a heretic, but his position disposition had made it difficult for anyone to condemn him personally especially since he had been the one that led us to the lair and consequently led to Sarah¡¯s rescue.


    Most of the time he acted like little more than a polite child despite looking like a grown man making it even more difficult to decide what to do as he didn¡¯t have full agency of his own. So, for a time, he had simply been kept in a locked room.


    Sarah on the other hand had not fared so well.


    Although she was grateful, she didn¡¯t have any life to return to. She had no family or friends to speak of to return to, but, more importantly, she was haunted by the memories of what she had been through.


    Struggling with Silika¡¯s disappearance, I had distracted myself spending most of my spare time with her as it seemed to bring her comfort.


    Although she didn¡¯t speak much about it at first, she eventually opened up about her experience and how it still affected her. She confessed the terrible guilt she held for bringing Bastards into this world¡­ But even more so, never allowing some to even have a chance to live. She repeatedly referred to herself as a murderer and a monster¡­ And as I tried to comfort her as best I could, I let it slip that Blue had survived.


    She was ecstatic at the news, and beyond anyone¡¯s expectation she demanded to see Blue repeatedly after that. I wasn¡¯t too sure what to think at first, but then I realised that she and I weren¡¯t so different. I filled the hole in my heart that was left from the death of Lilika and our unborn daughter through Silika, who was I to judge her longing for what she could closest associate to her sons? It took some haggling on my part, but I was able to let the two of them meet. It was to be a one time thing, but after witnessing their tearful reunion, no one could bring themselves to separate them again, but it became obvious we couldn¡¯t leave them in Lowland. The wounds and memories of the Feral attacks were still fresh and too many people knew Blue¡¯s true nature.


    As the one who decided to spare him, I took responsibility and had them journey with us. Maybe in Clotop the two of them could start some semblance of a normal life¡­


    -That¡¯s right. They were prisoners. It¡¯s not a very good memory, so let¡¯s not ask them about it.-


    She opened her mouth in surprise and nodded seriously, making me both smile and my heart ache.


    It was always heartbreaking to see how well Silika could sympathise with these situations. Something only possible for people who had suffered tragedies themselves¡­


    I looked toward the window as she began playing with her plush toy.


    I wonder if some day she¡¯ll trust me enough to tell me about it.


    About the time before.


    About that ¡°man¡± and that ¡°woman¡± she sometimes spoke of with fear in her eyes.


    Alzan¡¯s investigations in Evergreen had never turned up anything concrete. It had been a feat, actually, to turn up anything at all considering we also had to continue pretending she was my daughter from birth, but it was still disappointing.


    All we knew is that she was from the Somewhere West or perhaps South. Likely from a rich or noble family, but that was the extent of it. How she had ended up in a rundown orphanage in Evergreen was a mystery. We had tracked down a report of a coach carrying a girl who matched Silika¡¯s description, but even that was a dead end as the driver had given false credentials¡­ Meaning that someone had sneaked her into Evergreen, but for what purpose?


    A horseman walked up to the carriage side and I recognised my uncle, Marlot.


    ¡°We¡¯ll be reaching the city walls soon, Marshall. You should keep your head down. We don¡¯t know what type of welcome to expect.¡±


    I frowned seriously.


    ¡°Are we expecting trouble?¡±


    He shook his head.


    ¡°Can¡¯t be too careful. This trip has been anything but uneventful¡­ I¡¯d like to get you to your father in one piece.¡±


    I nodded and slid down the coach¡¯s shutters


    -Can we stop soon? I want to go for a walk¡­-


    Silika signed with a tired expression. .


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    -We¡¯ll be home soon, don¡¯t worry.-


    She looked at me with a look of bewilderment.


    -Home? Soon? Really?-


    -Of course, I told you we would arrive this morning¡­. I told you yesterday as well.-


    -Yeah¡­ But I figured you were lying. Like usual.-


    -I don¡¯t lie that often.-


    -Oh yeah? Well you said beans were tasty! And you said the carriage would stop bouncing soon! And you said once we joined the others they would have sweets! And you said¡­-


    I let out a tired sigh.


    -Silika¡­. Please¡­-


    She pulled out her tongue and forcefully rubbed her bunny rabbit in my face as some form of revenge.


    Sarah chuckled from across from us.


    ¡°You two look like you''re having fun.¡±


    I scoffed.


    ¡°Does it really now?¡±


    ¡°Of course! What else could it be?¡±


    While we spoke Silika climbed over my laps to look out the window. She pulled my collar excitedly as she pointed at something in the horizon.


    I looked out the window and recognised the outer defensive walls of the Clotop. I smiled as I slowly sat Silika more comfortably on my knees. It seems Marlot hadn¡¯t exagerated when he said we were close, although it would be a while still before we reach our destination.


    -It¡¯s a castle like Evergreen!-


    I nodded.


    -That¡¯s right, but that¡¯s not the castle. The castle is inside. Clotop and Evergreen are what is called a a walled-city.-


    She looked at me with a puzzled expression.


    -Isn¡¯t that the same?-


    -Well, a castle is usually just a fortified building and the walls around it. So when the walls go around the whole city, you don¡¯t call it a castle.-


    I explained, rubbing my chin as I tried to make my explanation not too complicated for a child Silika¡¯s age.


    -Actually, there¡¯s two places within the city you could call a castle.-


    -Really?! Can we go see them?-


    I raised an eyebrow.


    -Well, we live in one, so sure.-


    Her eyes grew wide in amazement.


    -You mean I¡¯m going to live in a castle? Like a princess?!-


    I laughed a little at her excitement.


    -That¡¯s right, like a princess.-


    A while the carriage came to a stop as the caravan reached the city gates. Curious, Silika tried to poke her head out of the window, but I stopped her, Marlot¡¯s warning echoing heavily in my mind.


    -Don¡¯t do that Silika.-


    She looked at me with an annoyed expression.


    -Why not?-


    For a moment, I considered repeating what Marlot had told me earlier, but caught myself.  Telling her would only make her worry.


    -The city guards will come for inspection soon, so you have to be well behaved, otherwise he won¡¯t allow you in!-


    -He won¡¯t allow me in?! How could he do that!-


    -It¡¯s his job. He decides who can come in and out.-


    -Can¡¯t you tell him to let me in?-


    -Nope, he has to decide you can come in.-


    Her expression shifted to doubt.


    -You¡¯re joking, right?-


    -You really think I¡¯d do that?-


    I said, raising an eyebrow.


    A genuine worried expression plastered itself across her face. Although it might be amusing, I decided to cut the joke short.


    -Of course I¡¯m joking, but please keep your head in until we reach home. Don¡¯t want you to hurt yourself.-


    As if on cue, the gate guard finally reached our carriage for her inspection accompanied by one of our knights.


    ¡±Fair tidings, my lord."


    ¡±Greeting, soldier."


    I simply responded with a nod.


    ¡±Tis a formality, but I need to see your family stamp, my lord.¡±


    I nodded and dug out the metallic object from my breast pocket. The woman glanced at it and nodded. Without another word, she continued on her way down the carriages.


    -What was that?-


    -The lady? She¡¯s the city guard I mentioned.-


    -No, I mean the thing you showed her.-


    I was taken aback slightly but avoided showing it on my face as I dug out the stamp from my breast pocket and handed it to her. I assumed she¡¯d know of it, but then again, she was still young.


    -It¡¯s a Stamp. Nobles receive them when they are born. It¡¯s a way to identify a person or sign papers amongst other things. It¡¯s very precious.-


    She carefully handed the stamp back to me.


    -Do I have one?-


    I shook my head.


    -We couldn¡¯t make it before, but we¡¯ll make one soon.-


    After all, the cast needed for the stamp is kept sealed within the Ashbrook castle¡­


    The carriage began moving again and slowly we crossed the threshold of the gate and the city finally came into view which once prompted Silika to climb over me.


    She gazed out in the streets with sparkles in her eyes. To me, Clotop wasn¡¯t anything out of the ordinary. As opposed to Evergreen, Clotop was a northern city which experienced heavy snow 6 months a year, the buildings were built with steep wooden roofs supported by large wooden beams. Most buildings did have stone foundations, but fully stone carved buildings, like in the capital, were a rarity. There was a charm though to the diamond lattice windows and the carvings in the wooden walls.


    As Silika leaned out of the carriage to look better, Marlot¡¯s words came back to me again and I pulled her back to safety.


    She looked back at me, annoyed.


    -What¡¯s that for?-


    -Don¡¯t lean out the carriage, you might fall.-


    I said, saying the first thing that came to mind.


    She didn¡¯t look impressed.


    -I always lean out of the carriage.-


    -Well, maybe you shouldn¡¯t.-


    She squinted her eyes in annoyance, but, surprisingly, listened to my request and didn¡¯t push any further.


    A few passerby eyed our carriage, but nothing more as we made our way through the city.


    We finally reached a second wall that despite being much larger and impressive remained in a state of disrepair and unmanned with traffic flowing in and out its gate unimpeded.


    This was the entrance to the Old Fortress. The area was once occupied by nobles and their servants, but this was of a bygone era. When the Ashbrook became lords of Clotop over five generations ago, it became an element of pride that we never had any need of a wall to protect ourselves from our own citizens¡­ Of course, there was also a tactical advantage to having an inner wall, but no siege on the city since then had ever necessitated it and the patriotism it inspired, more than made up for it.


    This part of the city now served mostly as an administrative and mercantile district, and at its centre, my childhood home, Windstep Castle. The Castle itself didn¡¯t have a proper wall, instead it was built around three large inner yards, the first of which served as the castle¡¯s umbilical cord to the rest of the city.


    I held my breath as we crossed this last gateway that had separated us from my family¡¯s home. My old home. Our new home.


    It felt like an eternity as the carriage made its long way around the yard before finally stopping in front of the steps leading indoors.


    Waiting on the threshold was a middle-aged man whom I didn¡¯t recognise, although, from his attire, he must be the castle¡¯s butler who replaced Alzan when he followed me to Evergreen.


    ¡°Welcome home, my lord.¡±


    He greeted us as he opened the door of the carriage. At the same time, another servant opened the door on the other side and quietly invited Sarah and Blue to come out.


    I turned back to the butler and solemnly nodded at him before taking a step out and turning back to help Silika down.


    The butler looked at her for a moment, almost as if to evaluate her, before taking a knee and bowing his head at her.


    ¡°Welcome to Clotop, young Lady Ashbrook.¡±


    Without waiting for an answer, he stood back up and finally faced me properly.


    ¡°Leon, at your service, my lord.¡±


    ¡°Pleasure. Marshal Ashbrook. And this is¡­¡±


    ¡°Silika, your daughter, I presume?¡±


    I was taken aback at his tone, not exactly dismissive and had a tinge of excitement?


    No, something more like urgency. As though he¡¯s been waiting for this specific moment for a long time.


    ¡°That¡¯s correct.¡±


    He nodded thoughtfully.


    ¡°My Lord has been gushing about the young lady ever since we received news of your arrival.¡±


    There was a bit of weariness to his voice.


    ¡°I¡¯m certain it will bring him great joy to finally meet her¡­¡±


    He almost allowed a sigh to escape.


    Well, that¡¯s unexpected. Who''d have thought that man would be the type to gush over a granddaughter? I guess age truly does things to people.


    ¡°Speaking of, where is the count? I had expected him to be here to meet us.¡±


    The butler¡¯s expression immediately turned darker.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t we get the young Lady inside first, my lord? The wind can be ghastly cold in this season.¡±


    I furrowed my brow at the strange comment.


    ¡°I¡¯m sure you know this, but my daughter cannot hear us.¡±


    ¡°It is not her that I worry about, my Lord.¡±


    He said, glancing at the people moving about the yard behind us.


    Perhaps, Marlot wasn¡¯t exaggerating after all¡­ Although what was it that they were so afraid of?


    The man led us inside, through the great marble entrance.

 74. About the guests...

    I sat there, bored and restless,  at a small tea table in the corner of the room.


    Dad had been acting weird ever since we left Jillbeck¡¯s Crossing, and even now that we¡¯d finally reached our new home, he was acting stranger than ever.


    I looked behind me where he and a butler were talking around a coffee table.


    I thought we came here to see his dad¡­ My grand-father I guess¡­ But here I was instead, bored, at a table, while dad was working on something weird while looking at paper as if those hid some kind of hidden meaning.


    I looked back to the window on my right. The view wasn¡¯t very impressive, especially for a castle. All there was was a bit of a garden and then a wall¡­ Maybe it¡¯s because we¡¯re on the first floor, but it¡¯s still very disappointing, and didn¡¯t help with my boredom.


    I leaned back on my chair and stared at the ceiling for a moment before bringing Darkie above me.


    [What do you think, Darkie?]


    ¡°I think we should explore the castle!¡±


    [Explore the castle?]


    ¡°Yeah! Maybe there¡¯s secret passages somewhere!¡±


    [Oh!!! We should look for those!]


    ¡°Yeah let¡¯s go!¡±


    I got up from my seat and headed toward the door.


    -I¡¯m going out to play!-


    I signed as I passed by and continued walking, but before I reached the door the maid at the door poked my shoulder surprising me. I looked up and saw her pointing back behind me. I turned around and saw dad motioning for me to come back toward him


    I furrowed my brow, annoyed, but still walked up to him.


    -What?-


    I asked him.


    -Where do you think you¡¯re going?-


    -I was going out to play.-


    He made a perplexed expression.


    -Can¡¯t you play in here?-


    It was my turn to look at him strangely.


    -There¡¯s nothing to do in here.  I¡¯m bored.-


    He hesitated for a moment before turning and asking something to the butler. This one looked pensive for a moment before nodding and saying something back to my dad who finally looked back at me.


    -Okay, you can go and walk around, but you see that nice lady over there?-


    He signed before pointing at the maid who was still standing by the door.


    -You have to hold her hand the entire time you walk around.-


    I felt my cheek turn red in embarrassment and annoyance.


    -I¡¯m not a little kid!-


    -I know, I know, but there¡¯s a lot of people around and the castle is very big. If you get lost, it will be very difficult to find you.-


    -I won¡¯t get lost!-


    -I know, but just in case¡­-


    -I don¡¯t wanna!-


    -Silika. You will hold her hand or you¡¯re staying in here.-


    He signed sternly.


    I bit my lower lip.


    I felt ashamed that I was being treated like a baby, but I also didn¡¯t want to be stuck in here.


    -It¡¯s only for this time, right?-


    I asked, hesitantly.


    -Only until the guests are gone.-


    I looked at him, confused.


    -There¡¯s guests? Aren¡¯t we the guests?-


    He smiled awkwardly.


    -No, this is our home. The guests are¡­ Well¡­ I guess they are your cousins. Or your second cousins technically.-


    I raised an eyebrow.


    -What¡¯s a second cousin?-


    I saw him let out a small sigh, putting me in a bad mood. I should be the one sighing from all this!


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    Out of spite I let out a very noisy sigh which seemed to amuse the butler on the other side of the table.


    Embarrassed, dad rubbed his eyes and faced me properly.


    -A second cousin is the child of my cousin.-


    He tried to explain, which didn¡¯t clarify much at all.


    Seeing my confusion he reiterated.


    -Okay so, grandad had siblings. These siblings, so MY aunts and uncle and YOUR great aunt and great uncles¡­ uhm¡­ Like uncle ?r?t !-


    -Uncle Cook? He¡¯s not my uncle?-


    -Well, yes, but he¡¯s also MY uncle. Anyway, so Uncle cook¡¯s children are my cousins, and his grandchildren are what we call second cousins¡­-


    This all sounded very complicated for something that really shouldn¡¯t be¡­


    -So uncle¡¯s grandchildren are here¡­?-


    -Well, no. He was my mother¡¯s brother. The guests we have are from my father¡¯s side..-


    He stopped for a moment to try and structure his explanation.


    -Okay so granddad has a brother and a sister. His brother, Sebastian, died a long time ago, but his children and grandchildren are here. Granddad¡¯s sister is still alive and she and her daughter are also here¡­-


    I looked at him with an empty expression.


    That was a lot of people to keep track of.


    -So¡­ How many second cousins do I have?-


    He hesitated and looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully as he counted on his fingers.


    -Uhm¡­ Well 4 second cousins, I think¡­ But there¡¯s also some other more distant family. I guess you could call them third or fourth cousins, and I think there should be about 7 or 8 in total¡­?-


    I looked at him with utter confusion.


    -And they¡¯re all here?-


    -Yes. And their parents, and some of my other cousins without children I guess¡­ I¡¯m going through the list right now, but there¡¯s at least 20 members of our family visiting right now¡­ As well as some other people-


    I rubbed my eyes trying to make sense of all this.


    I had been under the impression that it was just me, dad, granddad and Uncle Cook¡­ I didn¡¯t know we had such a large family.


    -Why?-


    I asked him incredulously, but, to my surprise, dad¡¯s expression grew darker.


    He said something inaudible before signing to me.


    -I¡¯m not too sure, they¡¯re visiting Granddad I guess.-


    He signed the words confidently, but his expression was all but.


    He was lying to me or at least he didn¡¯t want to tell me the truth.


    -Anyway, you can go now. Remember, hold on to the maid¡¯s hand, alright?-


    I nodded, too stunned to continue arguing.


    I have cousins, and a lot of them! That¡¯s the last thing I was expecting to learn today¡­ I wonder why dad doesn¡¯t look too thrilled to have them as guests?


    I left the room with the maid and she began walking with me through the halls.


    It was my first time in a castle, but I could already tell it was very different from a manor. For one, everything was made of stone, which was probably obvious, but there was also something about how the rooms were spread out. While the manor in evergreen, in Clotop or even the ones in Lowland, were built mostly in length, following singular hallways with  rooms on either side. This place was built wide, which gave a feeling of safety, but it also made the place much darker. Because of that, some rooms were built with large windows ending in a sharp point. It somewhat reminded me of a church window without the stained glass.


    ¡°Any secret passages so far?¡±


    Darkie asked as he dangled from my hand.


    [Not yet, I¡¯ m not sure how I¡¯ll find t¡­]


    The maid stopped suddenly.


    I looked up at her, confused, as she looked back at me with an equally confused expression.


    I tilted my head waiting for her to do or say something, but then she simply made a sorry expression as she said something.


    I shrugged, and looked back to the front. Maybe she thought I was speaking to her.


    We reached the main castle hall. It was the largest I¡¯d ever seen. It was built on three floors with curling staircases in every corner leading to the upper floors. You could probably even hold a ball here from how large it was, but right now it was filled with all kinds of people, either simply walking through or going about their business sitting about and talking to each other.


    Dad wasn¡¯t exaggerating, there were a lot of guests here right now. Maybe some of those were the second-cousins he had talked about?


    As we were walking by, a well dressed older woman sitting at a table, sipping on some tea, called out to the maid who stopped in her tracks. The woman asked the maid for something, but this one shook her head in response before motioning toward me while explaining something.


    The woman frowned strangely as she looked at me and motioned for us to come closer.


    The maid didn¡¯t hesitate to walk toward the woman, but I held back causing the maid to look at me with a confused expression.


    I couldn¡¯t say why, but I felt as though talking to this woman was a mistake. She had those suspicious eyes adults had when they weren¡¯t sure they liked something.


    The maid looked at me with a nervous and perplexed smile. Obviously she wasn¡¯t sure how to deal with this situation.


    The older woman yelped something which made the maid stiffen as she uttered apologies to her before turning back pulling on my hand strongly with a guilty expression, pinching my skin, forcing me to follow her.


    I was about to let out a wince as we came to a stop a mere foot away from the noble woman.


    Without hesitation she wrapped her bony cold hands around my jaw and pulled my face toward her. She scanned it over with a look of disdain for a while, moving my face from side-to-side.


    I felt frozen in place, unable to even move my lips or hands in protest, shivers running all throughout my scalp and down my spine.


    Who was this woman? What did she want and why was she looking at me like a bruised apple?


    I could feel her nail dig into my lip as she pulled my head down to observe the top of my head, making me wince in pain and a ball well up in my throat from the fear welling in my chest.


    As she did this, she seemed to be uttering something to herself and when she finally pulled my head up and stared into my eyes she asked something to me, which instinctively made me close my  eyes as I expected her to slap me any moment now.


    Thankfully, the slap never came as the maid responded for me.


    The old woman looked at her in disbelief before looking back down at me with a frown and finally letting go of me.


    I instinctively started rubbing my jaw, trying to wipe away the chilling print her hand had left on my skin.


    She asked something directly to me again, but, unable to answer, I looked up at the maid expectantly.


    She seemed to have regained the composure she had lost a moment ago and calmly answered the woman¡¯s question.


    After what felt like an eternity, the woman finally dismissed us with a simple wave of the hand, which only stoked the growing resentment I had started to feel toward this rude woman.


    The maid quickly bowed her head before we walked away.


    Relieved, but also increasingly angry I glanced back at the woman behind us.


    Greying red hair and blue eyes were pretty common around this place, but somehow her face felt familiar¡­ Where had I seen it before?

 Side Story 8. Gods Affairs Part 2

    Galvian and I exchanged a look.


    This is what we trained for, resolving situations before they occur, efficiently, unseen, unappreciated and without questions. I didn¡¯t understand why this was the correct thing to do, but Commander Paranam always knew, and that was good enough for me.


    If he sent us here, it can only be because he sees something we do not.


    We nodded at each other and started walking away from the temple at a brisk pace.


    We avoided busy corners and continued down the most vine infested streets available until we reached the outer city and found the stables.


    As we began preparing the horses, I worried about how we would get through the treacherous forest, but then a blond haired mann approached us.


    ¡°Yee need a guide.¡±


    His words were not formulated as a question, but as a fact.


    He handed me Galvian a small piece of paper which he quickly read before throwing in his mouth and turning to me.


    A grey market runner it seemed.


    ¡°We do.¡±


    Galvian answered right away. The man nodded and went to fetch his horse.


    We headed into the thick forest. As we walked, the man continuously prayed to Alenia as he cleared the path to the abandoned temple. It almost came at a surprise that he needed so much concentration when Galeishia had done it so effortlessly.


    Perhaps there was more to her than we had realised¡­


    Or maybe it was just the difference in a mann and kins blessing power. The church may have worked hard to tell us mann and kins were made equal, but that sure didn¡¯t seem to be the case when it came to godly powers.


    After what was a much more gloomy walk in the forest than our previous one, we finally reached the front of the sanctum.


    Somehow the stress of the situation did not reduce the awe the place inspired. The waterfalls flowing from the building¡¯s walls shone in the early afternoon sun.


    ¡°This is where we part ways.¡±


    The man announced.


    ¡°Uh?! How will we get back?¡±


    Galvian asked, echoing my own thoughts.


    Were we that disposable?


    ¡°Da miracle of the labyrinth stops its work here. Ye can go eastward or southward, take yer pick.¡±


    Without another word, he headed back the way he came, leaving us on our own in front of the gigantic stone structure.


    I looked on to the stone bridge with apprehension.Why was it that we were to deliver this here of all places? We solemnly crossed the bridge and entered the dead god¡¯s home.


    The place remained the same as our last visit, with one exception.


    A lone silhouette standing at the centre of the structure facing away from us toward the bottomless pit.


    The figure seemed like that of a woman, but as we approached something in my stomach tugged at me. As though I was gazing upon something forbidden.


    We walked all the way up to her and only then did she face us.


    Her appearance was alien.


    Uncanny.


    Her traits did not feel like they belonged to mann or kin or even the material world for that matter. She had veiny and sickly white skin, a mop of ratty greyish-brown hair. Her eyes were narrow, yet one could tell the irises were unnaturally stretched horizontally, almost like those of a goat. Her posture was unsteady as though she didn¡¯t typically stand on her own two feet for long, and yet they were anchored firmly on the ground.


    Her outfit was a simple leather vest covering a long-sleeved white shirt and a long blue skirt. A fashion style one wouldn¡¯t be surprised to find in Evergreen for certain, but in the depth of an overgrown ruin, in the middle of a thick forest, miles away from civilization, the outfit was anything but normal.


    ¡°You made me wait.¡±


    She declared with an irritated expression clearly plastered across her face.


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    ¡°Uhm¡­ Sorry?¡±


    Galvian responded tentatively.


    ¡°Don¡¯t care.¡±


    She turned to me.


    ¡°You have the stick?¡±


    Was she seriously referring to the Holloways cane as a ¡®stick¡¯? Was she unhinged?


    Regardless of my personal feelings on the matter, I nodded and pulled the rod from my coat and extended it toward her, but she didn¡¯t reach for it.


    ¡°Good. Follow me.¡±


    She walked away without even so much as a glance back at us.


    Puzzled, I continued carrying the stick as she led us in a familiar direction and then down a familiar entryway.


    This was the place Galeishia had shown us.


    Once we reached the altar room, the strange woman stood slightly to the side and pointed at the central piece expectantly.


    Unsure what else to do, I slid my hand down the side of the altar and let my finger search for something and found the small rectangular indent Galeishia had probably used. I pressed down and the wall in front of us revealed the cavern filled with water gates, wheels and other strange mechanical contraptions, including the large spinning dials at the back.


    Although its movement kept the same rhythm, the words had shortened so simply ¡°Totnieb¡±... Soon.


    Whatever it was counting down to, it was drawing closer.


    Confused at the situation, I turned to the woman, who pointed with her chin at the altar.


    ¡°The stick, shove it in there.¡±


    I followed her eyes to the centre of the altar where a slot remained empty. The gap was just wide enough to fit the object in my hand. With some hesitation I began inserting the rod.


    The golden artefact had barely begun disappearing into the stone when it felt as though something gripped it from within. An incredible force began spinning the octagonal handle making me lose grip. The sound of grinding rocks and metal began echoing from within the stone and after spinning for a moment more, the rod was yanked down by an inch, sending a tremor running through the very floor of the room forcing me to hold on to the altar so I wouldn¡¯t lose footing.


    I looked back at Galvian who looked back at me with an equally confused expression before his eyes widened as he looked beyond the altar.


    ¡°Hersia! Look!¡±


    He said as he pointed the dials. They were spinning wildly, only stopping for a fraction of a second forming words so fast I couldn¡¯t register what was being spelled.


    I glanced to my other side where the strange woman had been and found her holding a book and scribbling wildly as her eyes were glued unblinking to the dial.


    The rod meanwhile continued spinning before once more sinking downward, sending another shockwave running through the structure.


    The words continued spinning with new forms, the water flowing more rapidly through the water gates, the water wheels loudly creaking from the strain it caused on them.


    ¡°What¡¯s it saying?!¡±


    I screamed toward the woman so she would hear me above the cacophony going on around us, but she ignored me and continued scribbling, a strained expression on her face.


    The stick sunk once more, this time the sound of grating rocks echoed within the cavern as previously unseen floodgates off to the side began pouring in large amounts of water over the floor around the mechanisms.


    From the rate at which the water level rose it wouldn¡¯t be long before the whole water gate system was flooded, and the room soon after.


    ¡°We have to leave!¡±


    Galvian yelled. I nodded in agreement, and turned to the woman to tell her the same, but she was still scribbling.


    ¡°Ma¡¯am! We¡¯ve got to go!¡±


    ¡°You do that. I¡¯m busy.¡±


    She said nonchalantly.


    The rod once again sunk strongly, this time triggering an harmonic and strident sound. Like a thousand people singing at once.


    ¡°This place is gonna go, Hersia! We HAVE to leave!¡±


    Galvian repeated as he began nervously stepping back toward the exit.


    I walked to the woman and grabbed her by the arm. In one swift motion she loosened my grip and shoved me back with the flat of her palm. She finally turned toward me and looked straight into my eyes.


    The wide goat-like pupils dilated as she said her next words.


    ¡°You already left.¡±


    I felt as though something smacked me in the lungs making me double over to catch my breath. As I looked up, I realised that I was back in the main hall, my leg burning as though I had just ran with all my strength, and at my side Galvian in a similar state.


    ¡°What in Seeir¡¯s name was that?!¡±


    I said as I glanced back to the door that led to the altar.


    A strong tremor ran through the ground forcing me to hold on to Galvian for balance.


    ¡°Let¡¯s try to find out, AFTER we¡¯re out of this place.¡±


    He said between two breaths.


    ¡°Y¨CYeah.¡±


    I responded in agreement.


    I stood straight and looked toward the centre of the hall. Where the bottomless pit once stood, a jet of water rose as a single column toward the ceiling, filling the place with a fine mist and unnatural rain as it hit the tree clinging to the dome on its way out.


    We ran toward it only stopping briefly to glance at the unbelievable sight before turning toward the exit.


    Outside the cacophony of the inside sounded like an impossible melody. An otherworldly song.


    We ran across the bridge before turning back one last time to witness the once crumbling sanctum.


    As though purifying itself, the falls that once lazily slid along its walls had turned into torrents of water, ripping away at the vegetation that had once clung to the structure. And with every vine that was ripped from its shell, the song became clearer, louder.


    ¡°Holy father of gods¡­¡±


    I couldn¡¯t help but mutter.


    As I looked at Galvian to see if he was seeing the same thing, but instead I noticed movement in the east. Blond hair, earth-brown skin. Alenia-kins. And as I looked at them, I locked eyes with a woman who I recognised. Galeishia. A fleeting smile ran across her lips as words traced themselves on her lips.


    ¡°Bettah sta¡¯t runnin¡¯!¡°


    She winked before her expression changed to anger as she turned to her companions and screamed.


    ¡°SEARCH THE PLACE! TIS¡¯ WORK OF DEM THIEVES FOR SURE!¡±


    By Meiriem¡¯s love¨C


    I pulled on Galvian¡¯s sleeve and dragged him toward the forest before they could spot us.

 75. A soul smiling on two faces

    "Welcome to Moretti, Your Eminence. I hope your sail carried you well?"


    I scoffed at the greeting.


    "It would have if our ship had been allowed to land to shore in the expected delays."


    Although we had been in swimming distance from the port, the kins in charge had refused to let us ashore for more than a week despite knowing I was on board.


    "Please forgive me, Iron Maiden. The border was closed as we fell under martial law. I had received word on highest authority that no exception could be made, even for you, my Lady.¡±


    I raised a brow.


    On highest authority? There was no such thing to me. It was easy to guess whom he was referring to. Meiriem had sanctioned this order.


    I grit my teeth in annoyance.


    ¡±It would be wise for you to avoid wasting any more of my time, kin.¡±


    He bowed deeply.


    ¡±Of course. Please come this way, the emissary should be waiting.¡±


    I didn¡¯t bother with acknowledging him any further and began making my way down the elaborately carved marble docks.


    Moretti, being very much an island nation, was first inhabited by the kins of Coloviath, who worshipped travels, and for centuries had remained predominantly so. As such the port was considered as much of a holy place to the Morettians as the Evergreen Tree of Firsland.


    Though obviously times had changed, why else would it be that a kin of Meiriem would be put in charge of this port?


    Unless, of course, he wasn¡¯t actually in charge¡­


    What was the reason the kin said I wasn¡¯t allowed to land to shore again? Martial Law, right. Meaning that the military ruled the city during that time¡­ And that perhaps it was still ruling for the time being.


    I chuckled to myself.


    A Meiriemkin enacting a Steihnner doctrine was almost as absurd as one being in charge of a Coloviath port. What a strange world we live in.


    The emissary, perhaps reassuringly, was in fact a Coloviathkin. After a quick greeting, he had me and my entourage follow him into a carriage bound for the palace.


    ¡±Take me to my sibling, kin.¡±


    I asked instead.


    The emissary appeared taken aback.


    ¡±Your Eminence! You¡¯ve been travelling for too long, please let us at least offer us our hospitality!..¡±


    I looked over the well dressed kin.


    I could almost taste the trickle of sweat running down his neck.


    The true meaning of his words were not lost to me.


    ¡±I need no such thing as rest and I will meet your king once I have attended to MY businesses.¡±


    I frowned my brow as I narrowed my eyes.


    ¡±¡­And you should consider this a courtesy on my part. I have no interest in the affairs of your ¡®kings¡¯,¡¯ rest¡¯ or ¡®palaces¡¯ for that matter.¡±


    The mann¡¯s expression worsened, but he did not dare argue and simply bowed to my will as he repeated my orders to the coach driver.


    I looked out the window at the sight that I had seen at least once a century since the beginning of time. It had changed. New buildings had cropped up like anthills, the older ones had new roofs and their foundations had turned smoother from  erosion¡­


    Similar changes occurred before, and similar changes will happen again.


    The same way as this place will go from benign ruled as a monarchy, to an aristocracy, before a peasant revolt topples down its corrupt nobility, only for the most powerful amongst them to rule it as oligarch, until the people once more revolt and create a new puppet king¡­


    And so the cycle will repeat. Sometimes it varied slightly of course, but the cycle itself was inevitable. The many will always fruitlessly attempt to replace the few, only to turn to their strongest once more.


    We finally arrived at what I assume to be something of a temple of Meiriem turned estate.


    A blue furred Meiriemkin waited for us at the gate, obviously, my siblings were expecting me.


    She welcomed me with a smile and wordlessly guided me through the estate, making me wonder what was then the point to make me wait at sea for so long. Unless she had had something to do before I arrived¡­ Or perhaps she anticipated needing me for something at this time and not before.


    ¡±Sister!¡±


    ¡±Sister!¡±


    A duet of strident voices assaulted my ears as I finally reached my destination.


    ¡±Meiriem¡±


    Before me, my twin siblings, one male, one female. Their female part with sky blue hair and piercing pink eyes, and their male counterpart with  blue eyes and thin pink hair. Both of them with protruding canine ears and fur. A remnant of their pre-kindred form of two foxes.


    ¡°Why so cold, sister?¡±


    ¡±It¡¯s been so long, come, sit! Talk to us.¡±


    I scoffed at their words, but accepted the seat regardless.


    Although their separate bodies might confound you into thinking otherwise, Meiriem was of one soul, one mind, one thought. We all referred to ¡®them¡¯ as it was the simplest way to refer to their unconventional nature. So for them to then refer to themselves as ¡®Us¡¯, was only entertaining the false notion that they were not a single failiable being.


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    An annoying, if not somewhat mischievous habit.


    I dismissed my entourage and Meiriem did the same, leaving only us in the large hall.


    ¡±It brings us much joy to see you again,sister.¡±


    ¡±I¡¯m relieved to find you in strong spirits.¡±


    ¡±How are you?¡±


    They said innocently with a calm smile plastered across their faces.


    My lips, on the other hand, remained as they were.


    ¡±Are you not going to ask me what brings me to you?¡±


    I asked them, not bothering to return their greeting.


    ¡±My beautiful sister.¡±


    ¡±My wise sister.¡±


    ¡±You¡¯ll tell us anyway.¡±


    ¡±Why would we then ask you?¡±


    ¡±I¡¯d rather ask¡­¡±


    ¡±...What you otherwise would not allow me to.¡±


    They smiled mischievously.


    ¡±Perhaps¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­If you didn¡¯t have the habit of running away after getting what you want¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­I wouldn¡¯t have to first weigh you down with my words.¡±


    I closed my eyes as my brows furrowed in annoyance.


    They were always like this.


    ¡±I swear Meiriem, if you were not my favourite siblings, I would have long ripped you to shreds.¡±


    Meiriem began laughing loudly.


    ¡±Well then, wouldn¡¯t that make even more of us to deal with?¡±


    The comment brought a small smile to the corner of my mouth.


    ¡±But we are ever so glad to see you sister!¡±


    ¡±Yes,very much so! We had been hoping you could help us with this¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­Situation.¡±


    I sighed.


    ¡±I didn¡¯t come here to help you with any ¡®situation¡¯ of yours.¡±


    They laughed in unison.


    ¡±Of course not, but since you¡¯re here, would you mind giving us a hand? It won¡¯t take long and we¡¯ll be happy to hear you out afterward.¡±


    I grabbed an olive from the plate on the table as I made time to gather my thoughts.


    Annoyance and anger came naturally to me, but consideration? Not so much.


    As I spat the seed, I felt something course through my body.


    As though my being was being physically gripped, by an invisible hand I looked up at Meiriem, but found them equally discomforted.


    My instinct forced my head toward my left¡­ North.


    I could almost  see it.


    An imperceptible beacon, in the deep green of Alenia¡¯s forest, in the kingdom they now refer to as Firsland.


    ¡±It¡¯s him, isn¡¯t it?¡±


    I heard Meiriem ask in one unified voice, having dropped all pretence.


    I nodded.


    They turned to me.


    ¡±You knew.¡±


    I shook my head.


    ¡±I received a warning. My kinling sent me words of his.¡±


    I thought back to the odd letter and the shifting words I had received from Orr. Its meaning, still a mystery to me.


    ¡±Show me.¡±


    They demanded.


    I dug the letter from my waist pocket and in one swift motion of the wrist, flicked it to them.


    They grabbed it with both their halves and curiously looked at the content.


    ¡±Interesting¡±


    ¡±Odd¡±


    It said in unison.


    An appropriate response.


    ¡±Any of it¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­Means anything to you?¡±


    I shrugged.


    ¡±Yes, but I don¡¯t see why it would concern him.¡±


    They both raised an eyebrow almost comically.


    ¡±Do tell¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­Sister.¡±


    I took another olive, squeezing hard on either side, pushing the seed out and leaving only the tender flesh between my fingers.


    ¡±It was the original reason for my visit. That name. It belongs to one of my kin. A young rose by the name of Silika.¡±


    They frowned.


    ¡±How young are we speaking?¡±


    ¡±Couldn¡¯t it be a coincidence?¡±


    I shrugged.


    ¡±It might be. She is barely any more than a newborn, baptised less than a year ago.¡±


    ¡±And this relates to us¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­how?¡±


    Meiriem asked, confused.


    ¡±Well she was baptised under my name instead of yours for one...¡±


    Meiriem looked at me with pity.


    ¡°Sister, you are worthy of worship¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­As much as either of us!¡±


    My grip tightened around the arm of my chair, but Meiriem simply laughed it off.


    ¡±Well then¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­Apart from that inferiority complex of yours¡­¡±


    ¡°¡­How does this relate to us?¡±


    I sighed, but continued.


    ¡±I believe heresy may be committed in your name. One of its victims being this girl.¡±


    Meiriem¡¯s expression stiffened at the word.


    Heresy was not a word spoken lightly. Especially amongst us that remembered the collapse of the immaterium.


    ¡±You do not jest, I know that sister¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­But are you sure of your claim?¡±


    I shook my head.


    ¡±Of course not. Else I would have gone there and dealt with it myself.¡±


    Meiriem nodded their head understandingly, and were pensive as they looked at themselves in the eyes. As though looking for some truth within.


    ¡±I understand the seriousness of the situation, but unfortunately I cannot currently absent myself from Morreti¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­The situation here is quickly deteriorating.¡±


    I looked at her incredulously.


    ¡±How could this ¡®vermin hunting¡¯ issue require so much of your attention?! There¡¯s a church out there potentially spreading heresy in your name!¡±


    Meiriem sighed, visibly annoyed.


    ¡±Because it¡¯s not actually just some ¡®vermin hunting¡¯ business¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­It was a front. A ruse¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­Something to distract everyone¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­Including myself¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­From what is truly goin on.¡±


    I looked at her, still confused.


    ¡±Which would be¡­?¡±


    They placed their hands on their knees and looked straight at me.


    ¡±War, sister¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­A war is brewing.¡±


    I sighed in annoyance.


    ¡±And since when do we get involved with mann¡¯s business? They kill each other, they love killing each other. That¡¯s nothing new.¡±


    Meiriem looked at me disapprovingly.


    ¡±You are so full of empathy, sister¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­As always¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­But you¡¯re right, it is none of our business¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­But this is no simple war, no. No, there''s more to it¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­She¡¯s involved¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­I just know it.¡±


    I looked at her confused.


    ¡±What do you mean? Who''s involved? Doing what?¡±


    Suddenly it occurred to me¡­There was only one person Meiriem would ever refer to in such a derisive tone.


    ¡±Wait, you don¡¯t mean that she¡­?¡±


    They laughed drily.


    ¡±Of course it¡¯s her!¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­It¡¯s always her¡­¡±


    Meiriem looked off to the side and uttered words that would cause any Meiriemkin to cut-off their ears.


    ¡±Seeir, you damn mutt¡­¡±


    ¡±¡­I¡¯ll have your scalp for this!¡±

 76. Why are we here?

    I flung the door open, just about ready to flip the room upside down.


    I made a bee line for my dad, who turned to me in surprise, but was unexpectedly swept off my feet.


    I looked around confused until I met Uncle Cook¡¯s eyes. When did he get here? He looked at me with a raised eyebrow and seemingly asked me what was wrong.


    -Dumb old lady, grabbed my face!-


    -Who did what to your face?!-


    Dad asked, with an outraged expression, as he stood up from his seat.


    He turned to the maid and asked for explanations, which she hurriedly provided.


    I couldn¡¯t properly see Uncle Cook¡¯s expression from my nestled position, but it was clear from the way he and my dad rubbed the bridge of their nose, that they knew who the old woman was.


    -What is it?-


    I asked him, confused as they spoke between themselves.


    Dad turned to me.


    -That woman was your great-aunt Kerry¡­ In other words, Granddad¡¯s sister.-


    I looked at him confused.


    -So why did she grab my face?-


    He scratched his head, looking for his word.


    -You could say it was because she didn¡¯t recognize you.-


    I frowned at his answer.


    -I don¡¯t understand why she would grab my face for that.-


    He looked uncomfortable as he looked for his words.


    -It¡¯s a bit complicated, let¡¯s just say there¡¯s a lot of people going around the castle right now and she was in a bad mood.-


    Dad obviously didn¡¯t want to continue this topic, but I wasn¡¯t about to let that rude old lady get away with it.


    -Is she going to be punished for hurting my face?


    -I¡¯ll talk to her about it.-


    I frowned even more.


    -But is she going to be PUNISHED for it?-


    He sighed.


    -It¡¯s complicated, Silika. Your grand-father is very sick, so she¡¯s upset right now.-


    I grit my teeth. Why wasn¡¯t dad taking my side? Didn¡¯t he care that someone hurt me?


    -Last time you said you shouldn¡¯t hurt someone even if you¡¯re upset¡­-


    -I know what I said, Silika¡­-


    -So why aren¡¯t you angry!-


    -Because¡­!-


    His face contorted angrily for a moment scaring me, but Uncle Cook spun me aside.


    They argued back and forth for a bit before dad calmed down.


    I don¡¯t understand what¡¯s going on. Why is everyone so on edge? Did I do something?


    -I¡¯m sorry, Silika, but we can¡¯t punish Aunt Kerry. Not right now. But I promise once things everything¡¯s over, I¡¯ll have a very serious talk with her.-


    -Once what¡¯s over?-


    A sad expression washed over his face for a moment, but before he could say anything more, another maid entered the room and said something to us. Uncle cook politely thanked her and put me down to the ground as dad grabbed my hand.


    -What¡¯s going on?-


    I asked him, still a bit upset.


    He took a deep breath before signing to me.


    -We¡¯re going to go see granddad.-


    I felt something rise in my chest. I had never met any of my grandparents before. I was sort of excited, but seeing everyone around me looking so nervous made me unsure if I really should be happy.


    As we walked through the halls, I could almost see the weight on my father¡¯s shoulder grow. By the time we arrived at our destination, I was almost dragging him behind me as we followed the butler and Uncle Cook.


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    It was a large ornate wooden door on which the butler firmly knocked with the back of his hand.


    I was taken aback when shortly after, an older white-haired and red-eyed woman came out of the door.


    I hadn¡¯t seen a Feikin since Hare at the orphanage.


    She recognized my dad and uncle and they began talking for a moment before my dad turned the conversation to me and the woman politely curtsied to which I replied with one as well before turning to dad expectantly.


    -This is Lady Gotts. She¡¯s Coltop¡¯s chief scholar. She advises us on all sorts of matter and is also trained in medicine.-


    I didn¡¯t quite understand everything, but it seemed quite impressive and I nodded as if I did.


    -Is she taking care of granddad?-


    -That¡¯s right.-


    I turned to the door that was closed once more. A strange feeling grew in my chest as I stared at the door. It wasn¡¯t quite fear, but¡­


    -Are we going to see him now?-


    I asked, trying to push out the uncomfortable feeling.


    He hesitated for a moment before shaking his head.


    -No he¡¯s asleep now, and she doesn¡¯t expect him to wake-up until tomorrow.-


    I opened my eyes wide in surprise.


    -Not until tomorrow? But we haven¡¯t even had dinner yet. Isn¡¯t he going to be hungry? Shouldn¡¯t we wake him up?-


    Dad smiled sadly.


    -I don¡¯t think we can do anything about that. Lady Gotts is taking care of him, so I¡¯m sure he already ate.-


    -Why did we come here if he was asleep then¡­-


    -Well, the lady earlier came to get us because he had just woken up, but I guess he fell asleep again.-


    -Wait¡­ So he woke up and fell asleep in the time it took us to walk here?-


    Dad was about to respond, when he was interrupted by Lady Gotts.


    She seemed to be curious about something. Dad and her spoke shortly before he produced the secret language hand book from his breast pocket from jacket¡¯s pocket.


    She glanced over it for a moment before flipping through a few pages. She stopped at something that seemed to catch her interest.


    -Greetings, General!-


    She signed confidently.


    I looked at her strangely before turning to dad who smiled before saying something to the woman, who seemed to take her mistake with stride and asked to borrow the book for a bit which dad permitted before she headed back into the room.


    The butler asked something to dad to which this one nodded, before turning his attention to me and extending his hand.


    -When are we going to see grand-dad then?-


    -Tomorrow, probably.-


    -Probably?-


    He nodded.


    -If he¡¯s feeling good enough.-


    -And what if he isn¡¯t?-


    -Well then, we¡¯ll probably go the day after tomorrow.-


    -And what if he¡¯s still not feeling well?-


    -Well we¡¯ll go the day after that.-


    -What if he never feels well enough?-


    Dad stopped in his tracks and stared off blankly for a moment. Deep in thoughts.


    Before leaving Evergreen, he had said his father was dying, but now that we were here, he was avoiding the subject. It¡¯s not like I had forgotten his words or didn¡¯t know what dying meant. I think he himself didn¡¯t really want to admit that it was coming. He turned to me and smiled sadly.


    -He will. He has to.-


    I was about to argue again, but stopped myself. I don¡¯t think he would hear it.


    -Okay.-


    We caught up with Uncle Cook and the butler. Seeing as we were tired from our trip, the butler began showing us to our room.


    They hadn''t finished setting up my room yet apparently, so I was shown to a guest room instead. I was so tired that I simply laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling for a while.


    Dad was being strange. Normally he was always patient, collectedand attentive  with me, but now he was so dismissive and angry¡­ I didn¡¯t want to show it, but I felt hurt.


    Why had his mood changed so much? It stung. It stung so hard that I could cry. He told me not to worry when we left Evergreen. He said I¡¯d love Clotop, but it had been nothing but uncomfortable and weird. The stone walls of the castle feel cold and so did the people here. Their eyes only glaze over me and dad even though this is supposed to be our home¡­


    I don¡¯t want to live in a place like this¡­


    I want to go back home¡­ To Evergreen¡­ With Stash and Mili and Jade and everyone¡­


    I hugged Darkie tightly as these thoughts swirled in my head and the uncomfortable pang in my chest hung.


    Somehow, I fell asleep.


    When I woke up again, the sun was much lower in the horizon. It was yet another maid who came to wake me up. She helped me into a different set of clothes. They were different from what I typically wore indoors. Thicker and heavier. Maybe because it was colder here?


    She then guided me out where dad was waiting for me.


    He bent down and looked at me with a tired smile as he straightened out my outfit.


    He looked on edge. His eyes looked haggard and they darted around nervously, but not in a way that meant he was angry at me. Instead, it looked like he was worried about me.


    -Silika, I need to ask you a favour.-


    I looked at him strangely. Since when did he have to ask favours from me?


    -There¡¯s going to be a lot of people in there and not all of them will be nice, but I need you to stay calm and polite. Can you do that for me?-


    This sounded suspiciously like the lady from earlier was going to be there and he wanted me to behave.


    Normally, I wouldn¡¯t hear any of it, but¡­


    -Is it important?-


    He nodded.


    -Very.-


    I looked down for a moment, considering what he said.


    -Will things go back to normal after?-


    He shook his head.


    -Not right away¡­ But soon. I promise.-


    I closed my eyes as I tried to control the ball growing in my throat. I just wanted things to be normal, but I nodded.


    -Okay.-


    He hugged me tightly, before standing up and taking my hand.


    He nodded at a servant waiting by the door, who proceeded to let us into what turned out to be a large dining room packed with people.


    Dad quickly walked down the entire table and sat just left of the table end seat which remained empty.


    He sat me at his right, leaving my own thankfully empty.


    I didn¡¯t recognise anyone directly around me, which was a relief, but when all attention around the table turned toward the other end of the table. I immediately recognised the woman talking.


    It was that rude lady from this morning.


    Or maybe I should call her ¡®Aunt Kerry¡¯.

 77. Taking to the podium

    ¡°My, my, Marshall! I didn¡¯t believe my ears when I heard, this morning, that you were!"


    Kerry Ashbrook, my aunt and Viscountess of Colepass. Her strident and sharp tongue had only become sharper with age, but so had I.


    ¡±Dear aunt, I can¡¯t help but worry if this type of thing is enough to get you so aggitated, I wouldn¡¯t want to collapse. Perhaps I should write of my arrival in bold large letters next time, apparently your eyes are struggling just as much as your ears."


    A muffled snort echoed in the hall following my comment which earned a few meaningful glares. Although I couldn¡¯t see her, I recognised the voice of my cousin, Cicile Foster. Apparently, having her mother being made fun of, far from offended her.


    A good thing to note for later.


    Despite the glares though, no one came to the viscountess rescue and someone else opted to reclaim the conversation.


    ¡°Either way, it is good to see you in good health, Marshall. Is that a daughter at your side by any chance?¡±


    Count Frederick Omain asked in a sarcastic tone.


    The butler had warned me of his presence¡­And of the accusations he would make.


    Count Omain himself was only distantly related to the Ashbrook family. He was my late uncle¡¯s, Sebastian Ashbrook, brother-in-law. Despite this vague connection, we couldn¡¯t simply push him or his numerous progeny out considering his status.


    Speaking of progeny¡­


    ¡±That IS an interesting hair colour¡­ Who did you say her mother was?¡±


    I grit my teeth as I held my smile.


    Neilman Omain was the one who speaking out. Frederick¡¯s oldest son. Despite being a natural born pain in the ass, he wasn¡¯t able to do much more than to emulate his father.


    A loud scoff was heard at the end of the table making all turn toward the man.


    ¡±I¡¯ve received word that you claim her to be my niece¡¯s daughter? I certainly hope you¡¯re here to clarify this misunderstanding.¡±


    The man said in a slow voice. Barely repressing the venom in his tone.


    Marquis Hellion Fauger. The Duke¡¯s brother. His presence here was even less justified than the Omain¡¯s. In fact, I couldn¡¯t begin to explain what sort of connection he held with our family, but where there was the Frederick Omain, the Hellion Fauger Clan wasn¡¯t far behind.


    Both men were known friends and collaborators. They were also known for their large progeny and unrelenting ways when trying to get whatever they sought.


    There were rumours that they were actually aiming for the Norland duchal title, but that isn¡¯t something that should ever be uttered outside of closed doors.


    In short, both their presence here only meant one thing; people still saw an opportunity to claim the County of Clotop from the Ashbrook family despite my return.


    ¡±It seems I¡¯ll have no choice, but to put these rumours to rest, Marquis. My daughter Silika¡¯s mother is indeed Lilica Fauger.¡±


    ¡±Preposterous!¡±


    Fauger exclaimed as he hit the table with his fist.


    So much for keeping appearances¡­ I guess they¡¯re not afraid to openly challenge my legitimacy as an heir. As was to be expected.


    ¡±Now, now, this is nothing to spill wine over¡­¡±


    A meek voice interjected nervously.


    ¡±Hold your tongue, Elliot!¡±


    Frederick Omain growled.


    Elliot Omain was my late uncle¡¯s younger son and therefore Frederick¡¯s nephew. He was a baron in the neighbouring county and not one to usually fuss over this type of matters. If I had to hazard a guess he had been dragged down here by¡­


    ¡±That¡¯s right! Marshall has a lot to answer for. Why should anyone believe this isn¡¯t just some bastard child he popped out from somewhere?¡±


    ¡­His older brother, Viscount Karl Omain. A man of equal convention as his uncle, but unfortunately none of his power.


    That was probably the reason he dragged his brother in.


    ¡°Enough!¡±


    A booming voice echoed in the hall bringing the conversation to a halt.


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    ¡±I will not have you drag my nephew¡¯s name through the mud over baseless rumours!¡±


    Marlot declared in a threatening manner.


    I silently thanked him, but I knew his word on the matter held very little weight in this discussion. As my mother¡¯s brother, he only stood to lose from my disinheritance and the others wouldn¡¯t fail to point it out.


    ¡±I agree that this conversation has gone on too long. I may not be an Ashbrook in name, but I carry it in my blood and I will stand for this conversation to go on any longer. Wouldn¡¯t you agree mother?¡±


    Cicile declared turning to her mother Kerry who was taken aback. As the oldest Ashbrook after my father, Kerry¡¯s words held the most weight around this table.


    ¡±Uhm¡­ Yes¡­ Quite¡­!¡±


    She was obviously flustered being dragged into this conversation while it was playing out in her favour, especially by her own daughter, but not intervening at this point would only reflect poorly on her.


    ¡±I do believe this conversation has gone on quite far enough already. Perhaps we should enjoy the food for a bit instead?¡±


    She said as she tried to signal the servants to begin delivering the food.


    Thankfully the entire conversation had gone over Silika¡¯s head and she was simply excited to see food finally arriving.


    I saw Silika¡¯s eyes move and before she could even point to what she wanted, I pulled the ham closer to us and sliced her a generous serving which she immediately started gnawing at.


    ¡±Well! For a pink-hair, she sure doesn¡¯t seem to mind eating meat!¡±


    Estelle, one of Hellion¡¯s daughters, commented with an amused tone.


    I cleared my throat, as I tried to hide the smile growing on my face.


    ¡±Yes, we¡¯ve often heard the comment. The pinkness is an uncommon mixed trait between Seeirkins and Steihnnerkins.¡±


    I heard Hellion scoff at the mention of the Seeir bloodline the Fauger were so proud of, but he didn¡¯t say anything else.


    It was instead Cicile who carried on.


    ¡±Is that so? I heard those typically don¡¯t stick into adulthood.¡±


    I shrugged.


    ¡±It¡¯s possible. Her hair could turn white or red¡­¡±


    ¡±Or black.¡±


    Hellion opinionated in a derisive tone.


    Immediately a fist landed on the table.


    ¡±You will hold your tongue Fauger or I will make you swallow it!¡±


    Marlot roared angrily, making even Silika look up from her plate as it shook.


    It was an understandable response.


    The Dalar, from whom I got my golden eyes, were proud of their Scornkin heritage, and most of them sported their dark hair long and proudly. The Fauger on the other hand openly despised Dalar Clan and their blood, seeing them as foreigners in this northern land. The irony wasn¡¯t lost on anyone considering their own Seeir heritage in a mostly Steihnnerkin land. It was even more absurd when you realised the Dalar clan had inhabited these parts for centuries while the Fauger were known to be from after the founding of the Theocracy less than four generations ago.


    It was still true though that Scorn blood was rather rare in Firsland, especially in the western parts, and open animosity was increasingly commonplace.


    I¡¯d have to struggle with this bias soon enough when I look for a tutor for Silika¡­


    ¡°It¡¯s alright, Marlot. I¡¯m sure the Marquis didn¡¯t mean anything by it.¡±


    I made sure to emphasise his title to remind him he was not his brother, the duke.


    Fauger remained silent and looked away as he took a sip from his goblet. Marlot sat back down as well and returned to his meal.


    Well at least that¡¯s one situation somewhat defused¡­


    I wish I could move the conversation away from myself and Silika, but I knew this wasn¡¯t in the card. After all, this dinner was my trial. One I¡¯d been preparing for with the help of the estate¡¯s butler and Marlot.


    We already knew Hellion and Frederick were obviously two people who were coveting Clotop, but it wouldn¡¯t make sense for either of them to actually take it over since they already had land of their own. Therefore they must have been pushing for one of their children to take over. Among them, Neilmann Omain and Estelle Fauger were the only ones to have spoken up, so it might be the two contenders they were betting on.


    Karl had also piped-up, but since he wasn¡¯t directly related to them, he was probably working on his own. Perhaps he was pushing for his brother Elliot to take over, but he seemed too meek nature to actually go for it.


    Kerry also seemed interested, but at her age it would be surprising she coveted it for herself. Perhaps she was doing it for her daughter Cicile? Although¡­ Cicile didn¡¯t seem all that interested. She had actually spoken up for me, so perhaps she and her mother weren¡¯t on the same page? I wouldn¡¯t say we¡¯d really gotten along in the past, but we hadn¡¯t been on bad terms either¡­


    But I couldn¡¯t let my guard down, she must have had an angle.


    Apart from them, we still hadn¡¯t heard from Clouvian Fauger, the oldest of Hellion¡¯s children, or Guy Omain, Frederick Omain¡¯s second son or the wives and husbands. I couldn¡¯t write-off the people who didn¡¯t come today either. Perhaps they were pushed aside by Aunt Kerry or Hellion and Frederick, but that doesn''t mean they aren¡¯t also working against me.


    Regardless, I should go on the offensive now, before they find something else to pick on.


    ¡±I¡¯d like to raise my glass to you all.¡±


    I announced with a forced smile as the people around looked at me strangely.


    Silika, going along with what she was seeing, simply raised her glass. Looking somewhat amused, Cicile was the only other one to raise her glass.


    ¡±What for, if you don¡¯t mind me asking?¡±


    Cicile asked with a calm smile generating some grumbling around the table.


    Obviously she was looking forward to whatever I was about to say. I get the impression that she was perhaps the only person around the table not taking the situation seriously, but I was grateful for her candid disposition.


    ¡°For your care and support of course. After all, that is why you¡¯re all here, to care and support my ailing father?¡±


    A wave of discomfort ran through the room.


    I pulled down my cup.


    ¡±Or did I get that wrong? Are you not, distinguished friends and family, here to support the Ashbrook household through this difficult time?¡±


    A dead silence hung over the dining room.


    There were some grumbling and weak defensive comments, but of course, we all knew why they were here.


    They wanted Clotop, but admitting to it would be the same as admitting they had no more honourable than I was.


    Now, at least, we were on an even field.

 78. On the precipice

    The dinner was finally over, and I was walking Silika back to her room.


    The rest of the dinner had been rather uneventful.


    My aunt had made a show of how much she and her daughter had been taking care of my father and how often they had visited him. Meanwhile Karl Omain had explained at length how he and his brother Elliott had kept the household afloat. Frederick Omain and Hellion Fauger¡¯s families had seemed contempt with pointing out how much ¡®benefit¡¯ their mere presence had brought to the region.


    Of course these were all things said for show. Clotop was a self-sufficient city at the worst of times and my father was already well attended by our retainers without the help of anyone else.


    Silika rubbed her eyes as she tried to walk in a straight line. I picked her up and nestled her in my arm where she dug her sleepy head in the crease of my neck. The dinner had continued well into the night and after barely having any time to rest, it was a wonder she was even still standing.


    I could feel the exhaustion slowly washing over my own body, but I knew the night was far from over for me.


    I won¡¯t be able to rest until my father is¡­


    I felt my stomach twist on itself. I had tried my best to keep my emotions in check through all of this, but it was getting harder.


    Hearing everyone and myself talking about my father in such a matter-of-factly way had almost made me forget the reality of the situation.


    My father was dying as we spoke and I, his only son, had yet to show my face to him.


    I had made a lot of excuses to avoid doing so, and I am ashamed to admit that I felt relief when Lady Gotts informed me that he was asleep when I¡¯d been cornered into visiting him.


    I justified it to myself that I couldn¡¯t bog myself down with any more emotions right now, since I had to deal with the parasites that had made their homes here, but the truth is that I was afraid.


    Afraid that when I enter that large bedroom on the third floor, I would not recognise the man laying in that bed. I had always seen my father as a man bigger than life. I respected him and thrived to become someone worthy of his respect. Wise, powerful, compassionate, but now¡­


    I¡¯m afraid that when I enter his bedroom and see him, I will only see a decrepit old man in his dying moments and that I will feel nothing, but what I feared even more than that was the possibility that he wouldn¡¯t recognise me either.


    He and I would face each other, man to man, staring into each other¡¯s eyes and feeling nothing but indifference¡­


    ¡­And that I would then have to watch that person I had idolised my entire life die a lonely death¡­


    ¡­And still feel nothing.


    Silika was already asleep by the time we arrived at her room. A maid was waiting for us and she delicately took her from me before disappearing into the bedroom.


    I glanced down the hallway and was relieved to notice one of my knights was standing guard as I had instructed. I doubt anyone would be foolish enough to try something, but there was no being too careful.


    I faced the door again and stood there for a moment, unsure what to do next.


    I knew that if I went to my room and tried to sleep, I would simply stare at the ceiling until the sun rose.


    Perhaps I should find Marlot? He might have some thoughts regarding how to proceed.


    Or perhaps I should¡­


    ¡±Marshal! I was hoping to catch you.¡±


    A familiar woman called out to me.


    Cicile¡­


    She was strangely amiable during dinner. Personally, I felt grateful, but I couldn¡¯t help feeling suspicious of her.


    ¡±Good Evening, Lady Cicile.¡±


    She looked at me funny.


    ¡±Don¡¯t ¡®Lady Cicile¡¯ me! We¡¯re cousins! We basically grew up together!¡±


    It was a bit of a stretch, as we¡¯d only met frequently when we were still children. I hadn¡¯t seen her since I was 15. Why was she so insistent on acting familiar?


    ¡±Oh? Where¡¯s your daughter?¡±


    She asked as she looked around me curiously.


    ¡±She¡¯s gone to bed, It¡¯s been a long day for her¡­¡±


    ¡­And for me.


    ¡±Ah I see, understandable. Shame, I wanted to introduce myself.¡±


    She said with a disappointed expression.


    She wanted to introduce herself to Silika? What did she want with her?


    I frowned.


    Her actions were strange. Why would she speak up for me during dinner and then track me down right after? Why was she cozying up to me? Was there something she was after¡­?


    ¡­Or maybe¡­


    ¡­Wait. No, that¡¯s impossible¡­


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    ¡­Is she¡­


    ¡­Trying to get the county by seducing me?!


    No that¡¯s absurd! We¡¯re cousins!


    Well I mean cousin can get married I guess, but that¡¯s still wrong! We¡¯ve known each other since we were children!


    But maybe she sees it differently¡­ And I mean, she has grown to be very charming. Her soft blue eyes, her long flowing red locks, her perfect dainty nose¡­


    Oh no!¡­


    I almost fell for her scheme for a moment! I need to nip this in the bud before I slip up.


    ¡±I¡¯m sorry, but I don¡¯t think Silika will be meeting anyone for the time being, she is quite shy and tonight¡¯s dinner shook her quite a lot.¡±


    ¡°Oh Steihnner¡¯s grace, poor little duckling! Of course the dinner must have been terrifying for a small child! Oh my¡­ Oh my¡­ I should have stopped the conversation before people started screaming¡­¡±


    It seems rumours of Silika¡¯s deafness hadn¡¯t spread yet, which was probably good news. It also seems my excuse was quite effective as well, with a bit of luck I should be able to at least keep Silika away from these vultures for the time being.


    Now I just need to make it clear I¡¯m not on the market for a new wife or lover.


    ¡±Well, I have a minute right, would you care for some tea?¡±


    I offered as I tried to come up with a way to make myself clear.


    ¡±Ah no, not really.¡±


    She said in a flat tone taking me aback.


    What was that response?


    ¡±I just wanted to see my niece up close.¡±


    She said in what was unmistakably a disappointed tone.


    I narrowed my eyes.


    ¡°You really just wanted to meet Silika?¡±


    She looked at me funny again.


    ¡±Of course I did! She¡¯s my cute niece after all! What kind of aunt doesn¡¯t want to meet her niece!¡±


    I felt disoriented and confused by her words as she continued.


    ¡±I was only able to see her from the corner of my eyes, but isn¡¯t she the cutest little thing?! I saw her eating that slice of ham and I couldn¡¯t stop thinking how much she looks like a little squirrel! Well, a very carnivorous squirrel anyway¡­ Oh and that cute pink hair! It looks like a chick¡¯s first coat! It¡¯s sooooo cute! OH and when she tried to raise her cup for the toast! I thought my heart would explode!¡±


    She started gushing with an excited expression.


    Did she¡­ Really mean that?


    But why Silika?


    ¡±Don¡¯t Elliot and Karl have kids too?¡±


    I asked, confused.


    She looked a bit conflicted


    ¡±Well yes, of course, but Karl¡¯s boys are so bratty and loud. They¡¯re not cute at all! Elliot¡¯s daughter is cute, but you know she¡¯s so tall and mature for her age, it¡¯s just not the same!¡±


    I rubbed the bridge of my nose for a moment as I tried to suppress a sigh.


    And here I got worked up over nothing¡­


    ¡±Well I guess that¡¯ll have to wait until this situation blows over.¡±


    She said with a sigh of her own.


    Maybe this was an opportunity to gather some information?


    ¡±Speaking of; what¡¯s your take on all this?¡±


    I asked her to which she waved a dismissive hand.


    ¡±Nothing much deeper than what you saw at dinner. The Fauger and Omain think Clotop is easy picking. Karl is being his usual opportunist little prick. Mom says she¡¯s doing it because she wants the estate to stay in the family, but I think she¡¯s just the same as they are. Me? I don¡¯t really care either way, but now¡­ Well let¡¯s just say I¡¯d rather see you in charge around here.¡±


    She opinionated with a shrug.


    She looked at me for a moment. No real emotions showing on her face.


    ¡±You know¡­ This would all be done and sorted if you just met with your father.¡±


    The words stung.


    They weren¡¯t accusatory in nature, like they had been when coming from Marlot or Evelyn. They were a simple observation and the most obvious conclusion.


    If my father recognised me as heir and recognised Silika as his grand-daugther, those problems would just go away on their own, but as long as he and I didn¡¯t meet face to face, it would remain as it does now.


    ¡±I know.¡±


    I simply answered.


    I knew that if I tried to say any more than that, a sea of excuses would immediately come pouring out of my mouth.


    She looked at me curiously for a moment before smiling and giving a short curtsy.


    ¡±Well on that. I wish you a good evening, Marshal. I¡¯ll see you in the morning.¡±


    ¡±To you as well, Cicile.¡±


    I hesitated for a moment before adding.


    ¡°Thanks¡­ For the talk.¡±


    I said, giving a polite bow.


    She smiled before starting to walk away, before I called out to her once more.


    ¡±Oh and Cicile?¡±


    ¡±Mmh?¡±


    ¡±I think Silika should be able to meet with you in a day or two if that¡¯s alright with you.¡±


    A wide smile spread on her lips.


    ¡±I look forward to it.¡±


    Once she disappeared from view, I walked away and toward the soldier doing his round nearby.


    ¡±How¡¯s the night?¡±


    ¡°Calm, my lord. Most of the guests have returned to their rooms or gathered in resting rooms. The servants are not moving in suspicious manners and there have been no intruders.¡±


    I nodded seriously at his report.


    ¡±Good work, soldier. Don¡¯t let your guard down, we haven¡¯t been home in a long time. We don¡¯t know what might have changed¡­ And keep an eye on my daughter''s room. Anyone getting close to this door should be considered highly suspicious.¡±


    ¡°As you command, my lord.¡±


    He brought his fist to his chest in a salute before returning to his patrol.


    I looked back at Silika¡¯s bedroom door.


    I didn¡¯t feel comfortable leaving her here alone after being with her at all times for the last few weeks, but there¡¯s no way around it.


    I walked away, doing my best to believe Silika would be safe here.


    I walked for a long while, avoiding heading toward my bedroom where I knew sleep wouldn¡¯t find me.


    I walked aimlessly down the corridors. Up different sets of stairs before my feet came to a halt.


    I looked up and only then realised where they had carried me.


    The door to my father¡¯s bedroom.


    I placed my hand on the wood panel.


    Even if I wanted to, it was much too late to visit him.


    I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest as I imagined him, old and grey, laying on his bed only a few feet beyond this door.


    What would be his expression right now? Is he at peace? Is he in pain? Or is his mind tortured like mine?


    I closed my eyes.


    I remembered when these doors were always open. I would run into the room excitedly to show him some frog I¡¯d caught outside or to tell him about some new thing I¡¯d learn that day. Mom would be there all smiles, but trying to tell me father was busy, but he would still calmly listen to everything and anything I had to say. And no matter how meagre the achievement, he always told me how proud he was of me.


    I let out a long sigh before opening my eyes once more and looking up at the wooden door.


    That time was now gone. My mother died some five years ago, and then Lilica last year, and now it was my father¡¯s turn, but I won¡¯t leave any with regret this time.


    Tomorrow I¡¯ll do it.


    I¡¯ll walk into this room and meet my father after all these years¡­

 79. Im home... (Part 1)

    -Are you okay, dad?-


    -Of course I am! Why are you asking?-


    -Your face is all wrinkly. Like a raisin!-


    Silika signed with a worried expression.


    I made a show of making a funny face which made her chuckle, but it didn¡¯t ease the emotions I was masking so poorly.


    I felt completely terrified.


    As I walk with my daughter toward that third floor bedroom, all my muscles are screaming to run as fast and as far away as my leg can carry me.


    I felt my breath grow shallow and cold sweat run down my face, it took everything I had to keep a straight face so Silika wouldn¡¯t realise how much of a wreck her dad was, but I could tell I wasn¡¯t doing a very good job of it.


    -You know dad, we don¡¯t need to go see granddad today. We can go some other time.-


    She signed in a worried manner.


    I smiled. Proud that my daughter could be so empathetic, and how I wish that was true.


    But the circumstances weren¡¯t so kind. In just one night, rumours had spread even amongst the maids. Rumours about Silika and me. Some true, some false, but none of them in our favour. It was now somehow common knowledge Silika was deaf and I could see the strange looks she was already receiving, but even more outrageous things were being spread around and that I couldn¡¯t stand. Some claimed she was the child of a mistress, other¡¯s said she was dim and evil, while others even claimed they had seen her utter strange heretical curses.


    What horrible things to say about a child¡­


    If things were left as they were, it wouldn¡¯t be a month before the whole duchy was against us.


    No, I need to put an end to it today.


    Not just for the title.


    I need to do it for Silika and I.


    I need to face my father and show him the man I¡¯ve become.


    I bent down to Silika.


    -Why is that, Silika? Are you worried?-


    I asked her innocently with a smile.


    She shook her head strongly before looking back up at me.


    -I just don¡¯t want you to be sad.-


    I smiled as I ruffled her hair.


    Truly the best daughter a father could wish for.


    It¡¯s only fair that I should try¡­ No¡­ That I should be the best father a daughter could wish for.


    I took her hand and helped her up the last flight of stairs.


    Just like that we once more arrived to my father¡¯s room.


    Marlot and Lady Gott were talking as we approached them.


    Lady Gott turned to us with a smile.


    ¡°Lord Ashbrook. It is good to see you again today.¡±


    She said eloquently despite her thick Avlirian accent.


    ¡°And to the younger Lady Ashbrook¡­¡±


    -Good morning.-


    Silika smiled and signed back to her.


    -Good morning to you too.-


    A new person learning her ¡®secret language¡¯ never failed to bring a smile to her face.


    ¡±Interesting book, this is.¡±


    Lady Gott continued as she handed me the dictionary.


    ¡±Very elaborate. Complex Westernial syntax is emulated to perfection. I am surprised you found such a book. Even more surprising, you found one not in Solomian. Very rare. Perhaps one of the few remaining copies of its kind. Where did you find it?¡±


    ¡°A priest gave it to me. Apparently it was gathering dust in a Septenary Church of the Lower districts in Evergreen, I didn¡¯t ask, but perhaps they had other copies.¡±


    She nodded, obviously interested.


    ¡±I will send a correspondence to the College. I am sure they will be interested in such a book.¡±


    She shook her hand dismissively.


    ¡±But enough about scholarly topics. You may go in. Your father is awake.¡±


    I looked back to Marlot and her in surprise.


    ¡±Are you not coming in with us?¡±


    Marlot shook his head.


    ¡±We¡¯ll join you later. You two¨C You three have a lot of catching up to do.¡±


    I felt an icy grip around my throat. I had to clear my throat just to keep a straight face.


    I nodded and as my hand reached for the handle, a million thoughts ran through my mind.


    Thoughts of fear of what might come. Thoughts of shame for what already did. Thoughts of anger for the injustice that was forced on us. Thoughts of hate for everything that had made it this way.


    But also thoughts of hope. Hope for what tomorrow may be. Pride for the decisions I¡¯d made and the man I had become. Happiness for what life had brought to me, and a deep love for everything it now was.


    A love so strong, it pulled me out of my torpor in that dark office in Evergreen and brought me all the way here to this very moment.


    My hand now resting on the handle was resolute and I slowly turned the handle of the door.


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    As I stepped into the room, I was surprised by what was waiting for me. I had expected a dark and damp room, but instead, the place was illuminated. The morning sun was flooding through the drawn curtains while a small fire burnt in the hearth, keeping the room warm and comfortable despite the wind flowing from the outside. As my eyes followed the flow of light, they finally landed on the silhouette of a man sitting on the bed, staring out the window wistfully.


    It was my father.


    I almost called out to him, but the icy claw still had my throat in its grasp.


    He looked the same as before, maybe a little greyer, a little thinner, a little older, but still he had the same presence.


    I walked slowly until I was only a foot away from his bedside.


    From here, I could hear his slow laborious breathing as his chest rose and fell.


    His head slowly turned and I locked with his soft blue eyes. The same that had watched me come into this world. The same that watched me as I grew from a child into a man. The same that had never judged me for my actions.


    He struggled to part his lips, but almost in a whisper he managed a few words.


    ¡±Marshal? Is that you?¡±


    My knees immediately grew weak at the sound of his voice. I tried to keep my composure, but all pretence melted as my vision grew blurry.


    I fell to my knees and grasped his extended hand.


    ¡±Yes, father. It¡¯s me¡±


    He smiled.


    ¡±My, Marshall. You¡¯ve grown so¡­ So much.¡±


    He turned his eyes to the side where Silika was standing.


    ¡±I-Is that..?¡±


    He began asking as his hand extended toward her.


    I nodded as I motionned a nervous Silika closer.


    ¡±It¡¯s your granddaugther. Silika.¡±


    I said as I struggled to wipe the tears in the corner of my eyes.


    -Are you okay, dad?-


    Silika asked me with a worried expression.


    I smiled at her.


    -I¡¯m fine, I¡¯m fine. Why don¡¯t you get closer so Granddad can see you better?-


    She looked relieved at my words, but she looked tensely toward my father.


    I took her by the hand and delicately pulled her over.


    -Can you try saying hi to him?-


    I asked her.


    She was nervously fidgeting with her dress, but still nodded.


    ¡°Ur, gue-a¡­¡±


    She mumbled uncertainty as she glanced down, as if to avoid his gaze.


    ¡°Oh my, isn¡¯t she pretty! What a lovely voice¡­¡±


    He said with a weak smile on his face.


    He tried to reach out, but Silika flinched back as a fearful expression flashed across her face.


    ¡°Oh! Did I scare her?¡±


    ¡°Oh no, no, she¡¯s just a bit shy, just give us a moment¡­¡±


    I said as I turned to Silika.


    -Are you okay, bunny?-


    I asked her.


    She avoided my gaze as she chewed nervously on her lower lip.


    It was strange. She had never mentionned any reluctance to meet my father before and almost seemed excited at the idea, but ever since we entered the bedroom she had completely clammed up.


    -I¡¯m okay.-


    She motioned, but she still wouldn¡¯t meet my eyes.


    -I don¡¯t think that¡¯s true. Why don¡¯t you tell me what¡¯s going on?-


    She glanced back at my father who was simply smiling as he looked on, oblivious to what we were talking about.


    -Don¡¯t worry, I won¡¯t tell him.-


    I signed to her.


    She looked me in the eyes as she continued fidgeting for a moment before looking away and signing to me.


    -I think he hates me¡­-


    I looked at her in surprise.


    -What? No! Never! Why would he hate you?-


    She shrugged as she scratched the back of her neck nervously.


    -I don¡¯t know. I just¨C Well¡­ Maybe he doesn¡¯t like me because I¡¯m not his real granddaugther?-


    I felt my heart sink.


    I had almost forgotten.


    Although Silika called me ¡®dad¡¯ now, it didn¡¯t mean she truly believe it. Doubts and uncertainties probably still made it difficult to accept this complete stranger as her ¡®granddad¡¯ as I had so candidly referred to my father as.


    I still remember that night in Evergreen when I showed her the family portraits. How she had cried her eyes out, telling me all the reasons why she wasn¡¯t deserving to be loved or to be my daugther¡­ I had hoped that time had healed those wounds, but that¡¯s ridiculous¡­ It was barely a few months ago, how could she already have forgotten about it? How could she already think of us as her true family?


    I should have known better! I should have known that those thoughts hadn¡¯t gone away. I should have known that it would be difficult for her to change home. I should have known¡­


    ¡­And yet I didn¡¯t do anything.


    But that doesn¡¯t matter anymore. What matters is the girl in front of me and how she¡¯s feeling right now.


    -Silika, you¡¯re my daughter, right?-


    -Yes, but I¡¯m not you¡¯re real real daughter. I¡¯m just¡­-


    She made a vague motion as she looked down at her feet.


    I felt my heart sting. Perhaps she didn¡¯t understand her own feeling properly.


    I have been blind and conceited¡­ Of course she didn¡¯t think she¡¯s my real daughter, why would she? It hasn¡¯t been a year since we started living together. We hadn¡¯t even seen the leaves fall from trees or a singly snowflake together. It¡¯s a miracle she even calls me her father!


    I closed my eyes as I weigthed my words carefully.


    -What¡¯s my name?-


    She looked at me strangely through her glassy eyes as she rubbed a drip at the tip of her nose.


    -Lionheart.-


    I smiled but shook my head.


    -I mean my real name.-


    She hesitated for a moment before signing.


    -?rs?ll Ashbrook.-


    I smiled and nodded.


    -That¡¯s right. And do you remember Granddad¡¯s name?-


    She again hesitated, probably trying to think of the spelling again.


    -??n Ashbrook.-


    I nodded.


    -That¡¯s righ. And then¡­-


    I pointed toward her with my index finger.


    -...What¡¯s your name?-


    -...Silika¡­-


    -I mean your REAL name?-


    Her fingers froze, she looked as if she would crumble on herself. Despite this, she weakly signed her words.


    -...Silika¨C Ashbrook...-


    -That¡¯s right.-


    -But you gave me that name it¡¯s not the same!-


    She said as tears began trickling down her face.


    I felt the urge to pull her in close and tell her everything would be fine, but it would only serve as a bandage on the wound in her heart. I needed her to believe that not only did I see her as my daughter, but that she was also deserving of that title.


    -You¡¯re right, it isn¡¯t the same, but it¡¯s just as good.-


    She looked at me with a confused expression.


    -How..?-


    I smiled.


    -I may have been born with my name, but that¡¯s it. I didn¡¯t have to work for it, I didn¡¯t have to suffer, I didn¡¯t have to live in an orphanage, I didn¡¯t have to learn a secret language just for people to understand me¡­ But you did. You earned everything you have. Every struggle, pain and heartbreakers. Really, compared to you, I barely deserve a name at all!-


    -It¡¯s not true! I didn¡¯t! I didn¡¯t!-


    She repeated as she shook her head as tears kept dripping down her cheeks.


    -Yes you did!-


    -No! I was just lucky! I didn¡¯t earn anything!-


    -No, Silika. You earned it. You¡¯re an Ashbrook as deserving of the name as any of us!-


    -I¡­ I¡­-


    I picked up Silika and signed to her.


    -Look at your grandfather.-


    -No. I¡¯m scared¡­-


    -I know, but look at him. I¡¯m here, you¡¯re safe. So trust me and look at him.-


    She hesitantly looked up at my father who was still sitting in the bed, looking obviously a bit confused, but smiling nonetheless.


    -Does he look angry to you?-


    she looked at him for a moment before looking away.


    She shyly shook her head.


    -That¡¯s right, and do you know why that is?


    She looked up at me, tears


    -It¡¯s because he doesn¡¯t hate you. He¡¯s your grandfather and like all grandfather. He really likes his granddaughter.-


    She thought for a moment before slowly nodding her head and I felt a smile grow on my lips as I gently kissed the top of her head.

 80. Im home... (Part 2)

    I heard a chuckle coming from my father.


    ¡°My my my. I didn¡¯t think I¡¯d live to see the day.¡±


    He said in an amused tone despite his hoarse voice.


    I turned to him as I still held the now calmer Silika in my arms and arched a brow.


    ¡°What do you mean?¡±


    He smirked.


    ¡°That smile on your lips. I¡¯ve had that same many times¡­¡±


    He closed his eyes as he tilted back his mind in reminiscence.


    ¡°I remember smiling like that the day you were born. As I did the day you said your first words, and again when you came to show me the frogs you caught in the garden¡­ It¡¯s a smile all parents have when they look at their children and realise what a marvel they brought into this world¡­¡±


    A coughing fit interrupted him.


    I instinctively rushed toward him. He weakly raised his hand to stop me as he continued coughing. He was finally able to catch his breath and took long breath as he tried to steady himself.


    ¡°Ghrm¡­ I¡¯m sorry Marhsal. Would you pour me a glass of water?¡±


    He asked with a pitiful smile.


    ¡°Of course! Right away.¡±


    I turned my head to Silika.


    -Can I put you down with granddad?-


    She nodded shyly as I sat her down on the side of the bed while I went to fetch water from the cabinet by the door.  A


    s I poured a glass, I heard him trying to speak to Silika.


    ¡°So what were your dad and you talking about?¡±


    ¡°Hrm..?¡±


    ¡°Oh my, sorry, dear. It is a tad indiscreet of me¡­¡±


    ¡°Ah?¡±


    ¡°Oh yes I was asking you, but it¡¯s nothing important.¡±


    ¡®Hnng.¡±


    He laughed.


    ¡°No no, don¡¯t worry dear, I¡¯m alright! Why don¡¯t you come closer, these eyes aren¡¯t as good as they used to be.¡±


    ¡°Hmmmh¡­.¡±


    ¡°That¡¯s okay, dear. Take your time.¡±


    They continued this odd exchange for some time while I took my time bringing back the water, hoping they wouldn¡¯t notice.


    I finally brought the glass of water to my father and he took long gulps from it.


    ¡°Ahh thank you, Marshal. It¡¯s getting harder to speak for long these days¡­Speaking of¡­¡±


    He turned to Silika.


    ¡°Why don¡¯t you come sit here dear? Your dad and I must speak.¡±


    He said as he patted the spot beside him.


    Silika looked up at me with a slight uncertain expression, but I reassured her with a simple motion forward.


    After she had settled in, leaning against the pillow, father turned to me.


    ¡°Marshall¡­¡±


    He said in a serious tone.


    I braced myself for the words that were about to follow.


    ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, my boy.¡±


    I was taken aback. I had expected for him to say many things to me when we met, but an apology was never one of them.


    ¡°What for? I¡¯m the one who disappeared to Evergreen¡­¡±


    He shook his head.


    ¡°That doesn¡¯t matter, Marshall. Those are the worries for another time, another mane. It¡¯s the worries for the Count of Clotop. Worries I¡¯m no longer able to bare myself¡­ No, I¡¯m sorry as your father.-


    He looked away for a moment and took a deep and difficult breath.


    -I¡¯m sorry I didn¡¯t support you when you wished to marry the woman you loved. I¡¯m sorry I prioritsed my pathetic pride over your happiness. I¡¯m sorry your child had to be born in secrecy. I¡¯m sorry your wife died when the both of you were still so young¡­ And more than anything, I¡¯m sorry I wasn¡¯t there for you when all of this happened¡­¡±


    My heart ached as I listened to him. From sadness, anger, but more than anything¡­ Guilt.


    Guilt that even now, I was lying to him about Silika.


    By pretending that she was truly my child by blood, I was knowingly condemning him to die living a lie¡­


    ¡°Dad, I¡­¡±


    I want to tell him. Tell him everything that happened, all of my failures and inadequacies. All the lies and deception that surrounded me. I wante him to know I was just as flawed.


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    I wanted to tell him that he had been nothing less than a perfect loving father who tried his best to keep his son from a life of pain and suffering¡­ And that I simply chose to disregard it.


    ¡°No, Marshall. I don¡¯t need you to say anything. These regrets belong to me just as much as yours belong with you. Whatever it is, know that I love you and there is nothing for me to forgi¡­¡±


    Another fit of cough forced him to lay back on the large pillow supporting him.


    I quickly handed him another glass of water which he gratefully drank.


    ¡°I¡­¡±


    He grunted trying to clear his throat from the mucus, but when he spoke again, his voice was much weaker.


    ¡°I¡¯m tired, son. My body is hanging by a thread. There¡¯s so much I wish I could to tell you, so many stories, so many heartache¡­ But I¡¯m afraid I don¡¯t have enough time left to tell you all of it¡­¡±


    He handed me the empty glass and placed a hand on Silika¡¯s short pink hair.


    ¡°But knowing that I was able to see you again and meet my granddaughter, brings me great joy and relief¡­¡±


    He looked back to me once more.


    ¡°I believe it¡¯s time. Would you let the others in¡­ While I can still talk?¡±


    I nodded and went for the door. I let Lady Gott and my uncle in and we all surrounded his bed waiting for him to speak up.


    ¡°Ayki, dear, before I begin, would you mind..?¡±


    Lady Gott nodded without waiting for him to finish. She took out a piece of parchment and a quill and cleared her throat.


    ¡°I, Lady Ayki Gott, and for witness Lord Marshall Ashbrook, Lady Silika Ashbrook and Lord Marlot Dalar, will dutifully convey the word by the honourable Count Alan Ashbrook of Clotop, under the watchful guidance of Seeir¡¯s all-seeing gaze. All those who wish to protest this declaration, make yourself known or forever keep your peace.¡±


    Her word echoed in the room as she waited for any opposition.


    After the silence was maintained, she nodded thoughtfully before continuing.


    ¡°And so, his words are as follows¡­¡±


    She looked at my father intently as this one straightened himself up.


    ¡°On this day of the 10th of September of the 607th year of the 6th era, I, Alan Ashbrook, Count of Clotop, relinquish my titles, my name, as well as all my properties to my only son, Marshall Ashbrook, and fully acknowledge him, as well as his daughter, Silika Ashbrook, as heir to the Ashbrook name and assets. May they both serve our family, our land, and our people with wisdom, humility and courage.¡°


    By the time he finished, his voice was little more than a whisper.


    He visibly struggled to keep his eyes open as he rested on his pillow.


    ¡°Did you get all that, Ayki?¡±


    The woman nodded.


    ¡°Yes, Alan. Your words have been recorded as per the goddess of laws and blessings.¡±


    She then turned to me.


    ¡°As per the laws of our kingdom permits your father to bequeath to you, you are now Count Marshall Ashbrook and will maintain this title until your death or willful abdication. I look forward to serve, my lord.¡±


    Lady Gott said with a deep bow.


    I, on the other hand, was too stunned to respond.


    ¡°Thank you, Ayki.¡±


    My father whispered.


    ¡°Marlot¡­?¡±


    He called out.


    ¡°Yes, brother?¡±


    My uncle responded in an unusually meek voice as he kneeled down to his bedside. They had always been close, even before my father had married my mother. This moment may have been just as difficult for him as it was for me¡­ Perhaps more.


    ¡°Please take care of my son and granddaughter¡­ And take care of yourself, old friend, may you live with less regrets than I did.¡±


    ¡°I will, brother. I will.¡±


    He said as he squeezed my father¡¯s hand between his, bringing a smile to this one¡¯s face¡­


    ¡°Marshal¡­¡±


    It was my turn to kneel down.


    ¡°Yes, father?¡±


    ¡°Never lose sight of what¡¯s important to you. Many hardships await you, but you can¡¯t give up. You have to fight for what you love and fight for what is right.¡±


    I nodded frantically as I did my best to hide the tears pooling in my eyes.


    ¡°Of course, dad.¡±


    He nodded with a faint smile before turning to Silika.


    ¡°And you, my granddaugther¡­¡±


    He begun before another fit of cough interrupted him.


    Silika looked at her grandfather with a worried expression, as she grabbed his hand to comfort him.


    It took him several minutes of coughing and labored breathing to finally find the strength to speak.


    ¡°...I wish I had had more time to be a grand-father to you¡­¡±


    A weak smile drew itself on his lips.


    ¡°I would have loved to¡­ Bring you to the forest and show you that creek where your father used to play when he was your age¡­¡±


    He struggled to find his breath as he spoke, but I couldn¡¯t stop him even if I wanted to¡­


    He closed his eyes and sunk into his smile with a wide smile as he took deep breaht


    ¡°...Could you¡­ Sing me that song¡­ Again, dear?¡±


    I looked at him confused. Did he forget Silika couldn¡¯t speak? I looked up to lady Gott who worded to me.


    ¡°The Seeking Bird¡­¡±


    I remembered.


    When I sent word of my departure from Evergreen, Silika was singing behind me.


    You couldn¡¯t quite understand what she said, but anyone would recognise a nursery rhyme.


    I turned to her


    -Silika? Do you mind singing ¡®My Red Lady¡¯ to granddad?-


    She looked at me strangely which I didn¡¯t blame her for.


    -I don¡¯t think he¡¯ll like it¡­-


    I ruffled her hair.


    -Why wouldn¡¯t he? He just asked if he could hear your sing.-


    She immediately straightened up in surprise. I could even see a slightly excited smile on her lips.


    I smiled back at her, Silika was very self conscious about her voice, especially since it had been a concern that she was making a lot of noise unconsciously. Every time it got to a point where it became unbearable for others I had had no choice but to ask her to stop and she would become extremely embarrassed. I had tried to avoid doing it, but there was only so much screeching and wailing anyone could take¡­


    ¡­So for me to ask her to sing and make noise, was something was probably the last thing she expected, and I could tell nothing more more could make her happy.


    Maybe I should ask her to sing for me sometime as well? But right now, this moment didn¡¯t belong to me. It belonged to my father and Silika.


    She cleared her throat and began humming the song.


    ¡°Mhh mmh mh mhhh, mh mh mh mmhh¡­¡±


    The notes were slightly off, the the rhythm was also a bit strange, and yet¡­


    ¡®She said to me, My red lady¡¯


    The words sprouted naturally in my mind. There was a quality to a child¡¯s voice. An innocence.


    She didn¡¯t care about the content of the song or the quality of her singing. She was singing for the sake of singing. Letting her voice carry her thoughts and emotions and convey them to us¡­


    ¡­And what I heard coming from her was hope. Hope, happiness, but also a bit of sadness. Or perhaps I should say a melancholy.


    I closed my eyes and began humming along.


    We sang for a long time, and when I opened my eyes, I looked up at my father. His eyes struggled to stay open as a tired smile fluttered on his lips.


    He turned his head to me and extended his hand. I grasped it as he tried his best to squeeze it, but he had no strength left.


    ¡°Welcome back, Marshall.¡±


    A single tear rolled down his wrinkled cheeks


    ¡°I missed you so much.¡±