《Mallory the Luckless and the Quest for the Holy Quail》


 Chapter 01

    As far as Iwas concerned, getting sent to another world was a nightmare.


    From afar, it seemed like a swashbuckling adventure filled with magic, dashing heroes, beautiful maidens and a healthy dose of escapism. But once I had touched down on to this strange world, it was more like; magic (this part was thankfully familiar) , unsanitary living conditions and habits , and suspiciously eloquent hermits.


    To myutter embarrassment, I had wailed like a baby during my first hour in the new world , and had quickly gone through the five stages of grief in the next few hours with a sympathetic hermit who had chanced upon me whileIwas screaming at the sky. It was a highly humiliating scene, butIpreferred not to dwell on it and my new companion was gracious enough never to bring it up.


    ¡°Perhaps you are here for a higher purpose?¡± The older hermit sagely hummed as he gingerly offered me a kerchief.


    ¡°Is there a war going on?¡± I gratefully accepted the proffered fabric and blew my nose on it, an ugly sound ringing through the dense forest.


    Imissed the hermit¡¯s barely concealed disgust.


    ¡°The last war was nearly fifty years ago.¡±


    ¡°Oh. Um." Well that kind of put me in an uncertain position. "Is there a big demand for heroes?¡±


    ¡°Not that I know of.¡±


    ¡°A bloodthirsty rampaging dragon?¡±


    ¡°Dragons are endangeredfolk.¡±


    ¡°Oh.¡±


    I quickly realized that there was absolutely no purpose to my summoning. The world wasn¡¯t in danger from any powerful force, sans terrible sanitation, and it actually looked like a relatively peaceful domain that didn¡¯t need any intervention from an outside force . Plus, even as an outsider, I doubted that I had the necessary skillset to solve those types of problems.


    ¡°What will you do now child?¡± The hermit suddenly asked as he looked at me in curiosity.


    I pursed my lips as I contemplated my choices. This was a very dangerous world I had wandered into. I had nothing on my person aside from meager clothes and perhaps a stick of gum in my pocket, which wouldn¡¯t really be useful in the long run.


    At that moment, I wished I had some magic or some sort of ridiculous overpowered skill that would allow me to have an advantage. I mean, wasn¡¯t that the norm in situations like this? People who found themselves in new worlds often had some sort of ability that allowed them to survive, or were at least people of import and would be pampered like crazy.


    Unfortunately, I am certain that Idid nothave the aptitude for magic as I had tried to cast spells earlier by screaming at the sky with no such luck. I even tried to do some appraisal on my environment but all I got were blank stares from squirrels and the chirping of birds.


    It was moments later that the hermit had walked in on me and an awkward silence ensued.


    I shook my head to clear all thoughts of my earlier embarrassment.


    ¡°I¡¯m not sure,¡± I frowned as I fiddled with the hem of my shirt. I dimly realized that there was a loose thread and I wondered how long my shirt would last . That thought was enough to evoke a new batch of tears from me but I quickly wiped them away with the back of my hand.


    I didn¡¯t want to embarrass myself any further in front of this kind old man.If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    The hermit hummed to himself as he raked a hand through his beard, oblivious to my distress. ¡°Being an adventurer in this day and age is a lucrative occupation. The lot of them end up as heroes with fat pockets and a sizeable land. Of course, that is, if they manage to survive their quests and live well enough past forty. A hazardous livelihood for sure, but well, what job doesn¡¯t have an occupational hazard?¡± The hermit scrutinized me from head to toe and I felt a little self-conscious. ¡°Forgive me for saying this but you don¡¯t look like you¡¯d make a very good adventurer. So I would suggest against it.Butit is the easiest path to power and fame.¡±


    I had to admit he had a point.


    At present, I had severely limited options in terms of livelihood. I was lucky enough that I spoke the same language as this world but I wasn¡¯t so sure if that meant that I could also read and write their spoken language. Being an adventurer sounded ideal but Ireallywasn¡¯t an adventure type of person.


    Besides, being a hero soundedtediousand I had the defense of a wet tissue.


    ¡°I think I¡¯ll pass. I don¡¯t really need any sort of power or fame. I just want to go home.¡± I said.


    If I had paid more attention, I would have noticed the pleased glint that appeared in the hermit¡¯s eyes at my response.


    ¡°What about jewels, gold, or riches? Surely a girl such as you would have some need for comfort.¡± He pressed and I felt a bit offended. Did I look like such a high maintenance girl?!


    ¡°I¡¯m not really fond of jewels and excessive riches just stir unnecessary envy and trouble. Being comfortable is nice but I wouldn¡¯t really know what to do with gold or any of those fancy stuff.¡±


    The hermit looked even more pleased and I instinctively took a step back. It was a very peculiar look and the abrupt shift in his mood unnerved me.


    ¡°You could encounter a mage who could send you back to your home as an adventurer.¡±


    ¡°I could but¡­I don¡¯t know. Being an adventurer sounds awfully dangerous and doesn¡¯t seem like such astable job. Being a farmer sounds like a better deal¡ªwait, that¡¯s it!¡± I clapped her hands in delight.Whydid she not think of this sooner? ¡°I¡¯ll be a farmer! Surely , it isn¡¯tthatdifferent in this world and there¡¯s always a demand for agriculture regardless of society!¡±


    ¡°You want to be a¡­farmer?¡± The hermit croaked on the last word and I thought his voice suddenly sounded awfully different, almostyounger,but paid it no heed. Perhaps it was a norm to change voice pitches every now and then in this world.


    I nodded in excitement. ¡°I used to help around in a farm before, so I¡¯m not completely clueless about it. And it¡¯s a whole lot stable and safer than being an adventurer!¡±


    The hermit¡¯s jaw dropped in surprise before he guffawed.


    Loudly and violently.


    A swell of concern filled me. Thatcouldn¡¯tbe healthy for an old man right?


    So I spent the next few minutes trying to calm the hermit down as I voiced my worry over his state and he just took one good look at me before laughingharder, as if there was one big joke that I wasn¡¯t aware of. Had I done a social faux pas ?Oh gods.What if I just propositioned myself to the old man?!


    ¡°You have a distinct lack of ambition, no desire for power or to improve your station, and that space between your head isn¡¯t completely empty.¡± Laughter tapered off into chuckles and the hermit looked at me with bright green eyes.¡± Overall, you are a sensible young lass.¡±


    I wasn¡¯t sure if he was dissing or praising me.


    ¡°Um, thank you?¡±


    Nonetheless, I was raised with manners so I would accept the insult or compliment graciously.


    ¡°And of polite upbringing as well.¡± The hermit nodded to himself as he ignored my questioning gaze. ¡°It seems I¡¯ve made an excellent choice.¡±


    I stared in surprise as wisps of black mist surrounded the hermit from beneath his feet and his drab gray robe disintegrated into specks of little flames that radiated an ethereal shade of blue. Beneath the atrocious robe was a considerably younger fellow withwhitehair ¨Cperhaps not a day older than thirty¡ªgarbed in much more flamboyant and questionably fashionable robes in shades of purple , white andyellow.


    Back in my world, he would be a walking fashion disaster.


    ¡°Greetings, Mallory the Luckless.¡± I squawked at the offending title but my complaints fell on deaf ears. ¡±My name is Myrddin,¡± The walking fashion disaster curled his lips into a lazy smirk as he looked at me. ¡°I understand that you must be terribly confused at this turn of events. But time is of import and you have proved yourself worthy.¡±


    Terribly confused was putting it lightly and I wanted to grill the man for answers. Why did he conceal his age? Why did he have such terrible choices in clothes? Was his hairnaturallywhite?


    But instead, I asked. ¡°¡­Worthy of what?¡±


    A small part of me justknewthat I was going to regret asking.


    ¡°Mallory, how would you like to meet Prydain¡¯s Once and Future King?¡±

 Chapter 02

    The smell of strawberries wafted through the air and I was overcome with a feeling of fulfillment and pride at my success. This batch of strawberry jam had turned out a lot better than the previous ones I made, and I¡¯m proud to say that it tasted almost as good as the store bought ones I used to purchase back home.


    With complete reverence for the jam, I greedily spread a generous amount on my baked scones as my mouth watered in anticipation at the delectable sweetness. The treat did not disappoint of course, and as soon as I took a small bite of my creation, a burst of flavor instantly filled my mouth and I moaned in pleasure.


    So this is what a foodgasm was like, huh?


    ¡°¡­Are you ignoring me?¡±


    I pointedly snubbed my unwanted visitor and daintily picked up my cup of tea as tea time would not be complete without my favored beverage. To my surprise, tea was a highly popular drink in this world but coffee seemed to be unheard of.


    It was a pity but I was thankful that there was at least some source of caffeine.


    ¡°¡­Oi , oi! Can¡¯t you just hear me out ?¡±


    Tsk. So the pest was still here, huh?


    ¡°Hey! You just clicked your tongue at me didn¡¯t you?!¡± The pest ¨C Myrddin, I mentally corrected myself ¨C slammed his hands on to my wooden table, my tableware clacking in response at the sudden movement.


    Gods. What an obnoxious and rude fellow.


    ¡°I heard that. Besides , I¡¯m not rude. You are! You¡¯re not even listening to what I¡¯m saying. You¡¯re a terrible host!¡±


    Ah. Whoops. It looks like I accidentally said that insulting remark out loud.


    ¡°I offered you snacks and tea.¡± I meaningfully looked at the now empty plate in front of him before gazing at his face that was littered with crumbs. Had we been on better terms, I would¡¯ve told him of his current messy state. But whatever. This was a small revenge compared to what he makes me go through on an almost daily basis. ¡°And it looks like you enjoyed every last bite of it.¡±


    ¡°More tea?¡± I smiled, looking every bit like a hospitable host.


    On the outside, I was the complete picture of a serene and well-mannered woman but in the inside, I was in fact a seething banshee.


    How dare this mage accuse me of being a terrible host! I was nothing but polite to him ( Myrddin claimed that that was debatable at best) and what did he do in return? He badgered me nonstop to accompany him on some quest to find the once and future king of Prydain!


    At first, I declined him civilly as I wasn¡¯t interested in meddling with affairs of royalty and went on my merry way to work as a farmer in some rural part of the country. It was a difficult affair mind you, and I was frequently tricked and swindled on my arduous task. But after a year and a half of hard work, I was able to achieve my dream of living a peaceful countryside life.


    Unfortunately for me, it was then that Myrddin had mysteriously found me once more and began pestering me like some sort of determined salesman with questionable products. He claimed that I was vital to the future of Prydain and was necessary to secure the ¨C yadda yadda yadda.


    Myrddin prattled on and on about things that quite frankly weren¡¯t really any of my concern, so I promptly tuned him out at the first mention of king and Prydain ¨C because seriously where the hell was Prydain anyways?!


    But Myrddin was nothing if determined so I quickly found myself stuck in an odd routine of receiving him into my humble home for tea time , getting convinced to join some shady quest, banter some more , turn Myrddin down before finally sending him home with some snacks for the road.


    See? How could I be accused of anything but polite?


    ¡°Yeah,¡± Myrddin¡¯s voice distracted me from my thoughts. ¡±Thanks.¡± He passed his empty cup to me for what was probably his fifth refill in the past hour. He paused and then a look of horror crossed his features. ¡°Wait, wait , wait! This trick won¡¯t work on me again , you indolent woman! You may have tricked me the first few times with your abominable sweets , but it won¡¯t work again!


    I wanted to point out that the actual trick he was talking about had been working for about two months now. Once I discovered that the mage had a certain weakness for sweets, I made it a point to serve him my best treats to divert his attention. Surprisingly enough, it worked like a charm and I had a nagging suspicion that half the time he visited me; it was with the intent to mooch off free food.


    It was kind of like feeding a cat to be honest. If said cat was an overgrown man with a questionable taste in fashion and was predisposed to recruiting young innocent women for some shady quest.


    ¡°Oh no,¡± I drily said. ¡°Whatever shall I do?¡±


    ¡°You piece of --!¡± Myrddin hissed and I was reminded of a cat once more. He exploded into a bout of expletives and I promptly tuned him out once more as I drank my tea leisurely.


    You see, this is why I found Myrddin to be so obnoxious. In front of others, he was the picturesque elite mage ; handsome, charming, intelligent, well-mannered, and basically possessed all the traits women desired and men envied. But once it was just the two of us, he was sleazy, lazy, and incredibly crass.If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.


    ¡°¡­And that is why you should come with me to Gamalaot.¡± He finally finished his rant, looking absolutely smug.


    ¡°Like I¡¯ve said a hundred times, I¡¯m not going. I have no interest in messing with those kinds of things. Besides, I¡¯m happy here with my farm . And there¡¯s the spring festival next month and I heard there¡¯s going to be merchants with Kraeverian sugar.¡±


    ¡°¡­You¡¯ve adapted to living here fairly quickly.¡±


    ¡°It¡¯s not like I have any other choice , you know.¡±


    ¡°Still. Is being a farmer all you care about?!¡±


    ¡°I care about a lot of things. But your important quest isn¡¯t one of them.¡±


    ¡°Ugh, you¡¯re such a¡ª¡°


    But before Myrddin could even finish that sentence, the bangle on his wrist emitted a soft purple light. His face shifted into a hard expression and he just stared at the bangle as if he were debating something, sighed, and then finally brought it up to eye level.


    An unfamiliar voice spoke out from the bangle on his wrist, speaking a language I couldn¡¯t decipher. When I asked what it was before, Myrddin informed me that it was the old tongue, a now dead language that only mages were privy to.


    Ugh. Mages sounded like such an elite stuck up bunch. Case in point , Myrddin.


    Myrddin, in turn, responded to the voice in the same language and I took that as my cue to start clearing up the table. It¡¯s been well over two hours since he¡¯s been here and it¡¯s time that he left for the day, I still had other things I needed to do and this mage was distracting me from my tasks.


    Such as making more jam to be sold in the spring festival.


    Money was a bit tight recently and there were some things I wanted to find in the festival. I didn¡¯t really have anything of note to sell, but I was hoping that my jam would at least heft a good price or trade.


    Besides, it was the one of the few things I knew had a chance of selling.


    With a grin of satisfaction, I eagerly skipped to my cupboard and attempted to reach for the pretty glass jars that I got from a travelling merchant a couple of months back.


    ¡°¡­What are you doing?¡± A voice asked from next to me.


    ¡°Eeeeppp!¡± I squeaked in surprise, withdrawing my hand to my side.


    ¡°Don¡¯t do that!¡± I narrowed my eyes. ¡°You know I don¡¯t like it when you walk up to me! You could at least call out to me first. Instead of approaching me like some sort of stealthy thief!¡±


    ¡°I¡¯ve been calling you for the past five minutes.¡± Myrddin rolled his eyes. ¡°But as usual , you were too distracted with your¡­farming¡ª¡°He looked as if the word personally offended him.¡±¡ªto pay any attention to anything else. Not that it¡¯s any surprise.¡±


    I opened my mouth to give him a scathing remark but Myrddin continued on, ignoring me.


    ¡°Anyways, it¡¯s time for me to leave.¡±


    About time, I scoffed to myself but Myrddin as if sensing my thoughts , narrowed his eyes at me.


    ¡°As I was saying,¡± He continued. ¡°I have some urgent business to take care of so I probably won¡¯t be able to visit you for a bit. I know, I know, my presence will be most missed during tea time, but alas, I must part with you for now, good lady.¡±


    The sarcasm on the last part was not lost on me.


    ¡°It¡¯d be great if you didn¡¯t come back. Ever.¡± I mumbled under my breath.


    ¡°But in all seriousness, Mallory, do not leave Boar Village alone. There¡¯s been sighting of some¡­unsavory individuals lately. If you need to run an errand or do some farmer thing, make sure you¡¯re accompanied by a large group or at least someone who has some measure of physical prowess.¡±


    ¡°Yeah, yeah.¡± I waved him off, moving to pick up more of the supplies I needed but my path was blocked when Myrddin slipped in front of me.


    ¡°I¡¯m being serious here Mallory.¡±


    The look on Myrddin¡¯s face told me that there was more to it than just unsavory individuals, but I knew better than to question him. After all, it wasn¡¯t like I had any reason to live the village on my own.


    ¡°¡­Okay.¡± I said.


    Once Myrddin was satisfied with my response, he left my house in a beam of light ¨C gods, he could¡¯ve just used the door¡ªand I clicked my tongue in distaste.


    Would it kill him to use less flashy spells?! Look at all the pixie dust he left in my dining room! This would be a pain to clean up!


    .


    I spent the next few days in relative peace, going about my daily tasks without much fanfare. It was rather monotonous but I wasn¡¯t complaining because this was the exact kind of life that I found rewarding. I didn¡¯t have any desire to do anything grand and dangerous, despite the chance to do so being shoved in my face.


    To this day, I still had no idea why Myrddin was obsessed with having me of all people accompany him.


    But I chalked it all up to mages being a weird bunch in general and left it at that.


    ¡°Stop scowling , darling, it¡¯s unbecoming of you.¡± A voice chirped.


    ¡°I¡¯m not scowling.¡± Looking up from the strawberry I was cutting , I gave the woman¡ªLydia¡ªin front of me a small smile.


    ¡°Yes of course, and I¡¯m the queen of the five realms.¡± Lydia shot back from her side of the table. ¡°Come on, Mal, spill! Even I can tell that something¡¯s troubling you.¡±


    I snorted. Trouble was putting it lightly.


    ¡°Is it about Myrddin?¡± She pressed on, a Cheshire like grin on her pretty face. ¡°The miller¡¯s daughter told me that she saw him visit you a couple days back! Oh my, how absolutely scandalous!¡±


    ¡°Ah. Yes. Of course. Speaking of scandalous, you might want to avoid going to the lake during the evening for your weekly dalliances. I pick up my herbs there and I would appreciate not hearing the blacksmith¡¯s son moaning like a¡ª¡°


    Lydia shrieked as she threw an apple core at me, which I deftly dodged.


    I shot back another frank remark about her fraternization with the blacksmith¡¯s son and Lydia scowled as if I had killed her puppies.


    Despite my teasing, I was glad for her company. Lydia was perhaps the only person in this village I actually considered a friend and not just a passing acquaintance. When I first moved here, I was a bit of an outcast. The villagers, were nice, mind you, but they were comprised of people who knew each other from birth. They did their best to welcome me and in fact, they coddled me ¨C and still do¡ªto a surprising degree , despite my status as a stranger.


    But I was treated with some sort of distance and I suppose reverence? I wasn¡¯t really sure but I did notice that some of the elderly bowed at me whenever I went into the market but they were quickly shushed by the adults, who would placate me with a nervous smile.


    It was weird. But so was this entire world anyway.


    Anyways.


    It was only Lydia who actually crossed that distance and befriended me . She was a bit of a local celebrity and was lauded as the hottest girl in town<sup>TM</sup>. I was wary at first but she eventually won me over with her amazing personality ¨C and with bribery via bread.


    ¡°So,¡± Lydia patted herself of the fruit rinds that had fallen on to her apron. Damn. She was much faster than me at slicing these fruits. ¡°What are you going to do in the spring festival?¡±


    ¡°Just the usual, I guess?¡± I responded, as if I regularly went to spring festivals. ¡°Sell stuff. Trade some stuff. Eat.¡±


    ¡°¡­Do you even know what happens during spring festivals?¡± Lydia raised a brow.


    ¡°Well, I mean , how different can it be from where I¡¯m from?¡± Nervous laughter bubbled from my lips.


    Lydia and the rest of the village didn¡¯t know that I came from another world. To explain my lack of knowledge on their culture and norms, I told them that I was raised by a hermit who lived in the mountains and was robbed of all my earthly possessions when I left.


    And apparently that seemed to be a very common backstory over here so the good people of Boar Village were quick to accept my story.


    ¡°That¡¯s true, well, looks like I don¡¯t need to prepare you for our yearly boar racing competition!¡±


    ¡°¡­Don¡¯t you mean boar hunting?¡±


    ¡°Nope! I very clearly meant boar hunting!¡±