《Tuya of the Hollows [Grimdark] [Psychological]》


 Chapter One: Promises

    Tuya, a seedling with arms thinner than the branches she was beaten with, disheveled hair shaded like the dirt she was covered in, and skin like the sand darkened by the evil waters where they drowned those who birthed girls like her, looked out from the gap in her hollow to bear witness to another day of life in the Celegan Hollows.


    The tamers howled in the rain, their guttural voices shattering sleep¡¯s illusions. Tuya was no great-winged bird that could fly away from here in search of a place in the faraway lands where people looked like her and did not hate her, if such a place ever existed beyond the stories Zaya told when the tamers were distracted. She was one of countless girls in the Hollows. Even if most did not look like her, it did not change that her only purpose of existence, as the tamers reminded with every swing of the branch, every kick in the gut, every offering of meat, was to survive until first blood and carry the seed of mighty tamers.


    The tamers prowled around one such girl. She must have been one of their favorites, for Tuya counted off the tamers surrounding their claim, and she ran out of fingers. Nearly every man who lived in this section of dense woods, where trees with great holes in their base reached up toward Celegana¡¯s Spire, wanted to be the first to mount this fresh claim. The few tamers not hollering for a chance to battle each other for the blooded girl were the ones who knew they could not hope to win.


    Tuya would run out of fingers and toes long before she finished counting the khorota like her that peeked through the openings of the other smaller hollows. They crouched low in the dim light of the dawn, hiding their bruised faces, swollen eyes, and bony bodies, not daring to even whisper. For all their silence, Tuya heard them nearly as loud as she did their masters. The air felt thick with their thoughts, blessings to the Goddess that it was another¡¯s turn. Their relief permeated Tuya¡¯s mind, a steady pulse of gratitude, an emotion most unusual in the Hollows.


    The reprieve never lasted. The girl they corralled and fought over would be the first blood, but not the last. This tamer would lose to that one and he would come for another. Whether a small, useless khorota like Tuya that they could bludgeon to death with logs or fists, or a grown, blooded woman like Zaya that they could unleash their stymied lust upon.


    This realization infected them all and they shrank back into their hollows, not daring to show anything of themselves lest they be the one the losers chose to punish. Their fear thrummed within Tuya, its baleful tones intertwining with the lust and hatred of the tamers as they prepared to fight each other for the blooded.


    Tuya tried to mute their thoughts and the feelings paired with them. She tried to silence those tones of misery and conquest, but the noise was too loud. Her own depressed soul emitted the same pains as loud as anyone else, screaming silently into this void once her little eyes caught a glimpse of the girl being dragged, shrieking for Celegana to give her strength.


    It was Sarnai. Sarnai, the one who worked the animal hides better than the rest of them. Sarnai, the snowy-fleshed girl who had once helped Tuya when she did not find enough berries. That small handful of red that saved her from many days of spilling her own redness, possibly kept her from going back to the land, back to Divine Celegana. Sarnai, the one Tamer Khargoth battered but a few sunrises ago, rooting her in place within her hollow for being too slow with mending his zebra hides. Sarnai, the one who smiled at Tuya when she snuck her a weird rock full of good water. Sarnai, a girl just like her, even if she looked like the tamers and nothing like Tuya. Sarnai was the blooded.


    Tuya repeated Sarnai¡¯s name in her head, hoping the girl survived her first blood, feeling something she had no name for but knew was the most important feeling of all. It was the reason she woke up each day, striving to touch it even for a few moments like rare morsels of meat a tamer might give to Zaya and Zaya might sneak to her. It was there when Zaya told her stories of faraway lands. It was there when Sarnai smiled at her. It was there, forbidden to Tuya, but ever the sweetest fruit that grew in the Hollows.


    Khargoth slammed his fist into Sarnai¡¯s side, screaming for her to stop invoking Celegana¡¯s name. Tuya wished she could take away Sarnai¡¯s pain, her spare water running down her face, that forbidden fruit sheltered within her where no tamer could take it from her.


    Tuya focused her thoughts on Sarnai and reached toward her with that nameless feeling burgeoning in her chest like the first lights of day breaking the dark. She tried to share the feeling with Sarnai, tried to let her know that at least one creature in this world wanted her to live. Tuya thought to herself, reaching out with the hope that somehow Sarnai would listen. Be still. Don¡¯t cry. Survive, Sarnai.


    Hope was a rare thing in the Hollows. It was even rarer when hopes became truths.


    Sarnai¡¯s eyes flickered toward Tuya, then she went still, wiped away the tears on her face, and silenced her pleas.


    The tamers roared, ¡°Hoo huh!¡± and even big Khargoth chanted that the blooded khorota had the resolve of one determined to provide Celegana with a worthy tamer, one he would plant within her today. The other tamers challenged him, declaring they would be the one to fill Sarnai with their blessed seed.


    It was nasty Zalmug, Zaya¡¯s claimer, who hollered that they should see what they fought for, to give them the will to withstand the taming of their competitors. That horrible man tore at Sarnai¡¯s hides, ripping them off her before several other tamers held him back demanding he earn the blooded before he touched her.


    No matter how much Tuya hoped, no matter how often she dreamt of flying away, no matter if Zaya tried to protect her, some day that would be her. Some tamer would press her face into the ground and hurt her as much as Zalmug did Zaya. In hopeless moments like this, Tuya understood the ones that chose to leap from the cliffs into the evil water.


    Crying, gripping at her starved stomach, Tuya skidded away from the opening of Zaya¡¯s hollow and fell into something large and warm. Zaya caught her, made a shushing noise, and folded Tuya into her long arms. This single susurrus sound was drowned by the accelerating hooting of the tamers and the vitriol in their minds, by the sense of despair she tasted from every other unblooded pondering whether they would live through their oppression to experience this day, and by the discordant never-ending cries of those tamed. This last group begged her for a harmony she could not restore, for freedom she could not deliver, and for light when their whole world was dark.


    Hope was a rare thing in the Hollows. Life tried to extinguish it from Tuya, like raingivers sealing away the big lightmaker. Dread was easier and far more common. Tuya¡¯s heart quickened, her stomach contracted, sweat ran from her, eliminating the precious water her body hoarded, her tiny bones trembled like the hollows when the ground shook. Memories flooded through her into the deepest trenches of her psyche. Her inner voice echoed what tamers had screamed at her, immortalizing their words within herself. She was an extra mouth to feed. She was useless. She was weak. She was worthless. She was khorota.


    Bruises faded and bones mended. Yet, the scars on her mind ran deep and the best she could do was look away from them, gaze off in fantasy, for a time, before the scars reopened and deepened. Those great chasms, trauma¡¯s voids, did not mend with the passage of time. They only grew with each new wound, canyons shaped by the erosion of being hated and hurt. When panic claimed her, Tuya believed that nothing could ever fill these hollows. Nothing could make her whole.


    These memories merged and brought on a wave of despair so massive that it could cover the whole world in the evil water and forever drown her in salted misery. Tuya tried to find a ray of light shining through raingivers so thick and dark that it seemed none of the lightmakers could ever possibly break through hopelessness¡¯s pall.


    Tuya strained to still her mind and break this cycle. Yet, how did one swim to the shore when the flood was so ferocious? How could they do that, especially if they never learned how to swim? How could one swim to shore, when everyone else is in the flood with you, constantly crying to be saved? Tuya could not escape these raging rapids. How could she?


    Hope was a rare thing in the Hollows. But for all the misery of her life, that one nameless feeling nurtured the frail hope and kept it alive. Zaya held Tuya, sheltering her in this affection, quieting the storm within Tuya. Zaya seemed like the Spire rising above countless hollows. The tall woman was bigger than almost all of the tamers, bringing her unwanted attention among those she privately called insecure cretins. Though higher, Zaya¡¯s body was withered like a long-stemmed flower struggling to survive into the snowy seasons. Her stomach swelled with Zalmug¡¯s seed and her body was covered in more bruises than any other khorota in the region. The tamers hated Zaya, not just for her height, but because she came from the faraway land that had once tried to fill the Hollows with old stones.


    To the tamers, Zaya came from a horrid place of evil giants who desecrated Celegana¡¯s earth with their blasphemous constructs that defiled Celegana¡¯s natural order. Tuya thought of men bigger than the tamers and wished they would come here and rescue her and Zaya. Alas, the tamers spent their days shoving Zaya¡¯s head into the dirt and taunting her about the end of her people, of how Tugal would kill every last giant among them and fill all the big women with his mighty seed.


    ¡°Remember to breathe,¡± Zaya whispered, her voice the softest thing in this hard world. Zaya showed her, inhaling deep through her nose, holding the air in, then exhaling slowly from her mouth. ¡°Remember the faraway lands.¡±


    Tuya remembered. Zaya told few stories of her home, a place she called the Sunset Kingdom, saying they were an arrogant people best forgotten. It was the stories she told of other faraway lands that filled Tuya¡¯s head with dreams of a better life somewhere else. Places where girls were not born to be beaten and bred, where they were never hungry, hated, or hurt, even lands where women ruled from the old stones like Tugal did from the Spire.


    Tuya leaned into Zaya and remembered. She closed her eyes, inhaled, exhaled, and repeated. Each time, Zaya encouraged her, massaged Tuya¡¯s scalp, and kept her close. Zaya grounded Tuya to Celegana¡¯s earth, even as the endless, amorphous cries for freedom tried to pull her away from this shore of safety. Entrapped birds, enraged beasts, persecuted people, all oppressed into the recesses of their own minds by the tamers who controlled their bodies with their mind, cried out for help in a cacophonous chorus.


    Tuya yearned to make their pain smaller, but knew not how, and knew that she was a small, tiny, inconsequential thing matched against mighty Tugal and all the tamers beneath him. She felt like a perpetual failure. Guilt bludgeoned her harder than any tamer¡¯s fist. Her helplessness echoed their words of cruelty, reminding her that she was worthless.


    ¡°The cries grow louder,¡± Tuya whimpered. ¡°I cannot make their pain go away.¡±


    Zaya nuzzled the top of Tuya¡¯s head, somehow making Tuya¡¯s pain smaller. ¡°You will find a way, Tuya. But remember¡­¡±


    Zaya trailed off as the tamer howls outside their tree grew angrier. Near the old stones, a series of rocks that were unnaturally layered, smooth, and straight, only two tamers remained in the challenge for Sarnai¡¯s claim. Many men curled upon the ground, their faces covered in blood, punching the ground and cursing the tamers that made them submit.


    Sarnai leaned against the old stones where they left her, covering her bloody thighs and staring still at the ground, drawing strength from Divine Celegana who was said to dwell beneath the dirt, giving them the bounties of nature. Only Khargoth and Zalmug remained standing upon the hallowed ground, battling for the pretty girl who could prepare the furs and hides better than any other in their region. The two mighty tamers glared at each other, faces strained, as their minds warred for supremacy. They were the worst of the tamers here. Tuya hoped they killed each other. Already, one of the losers on the ground was dead from the claiming of Sarnai. At least, she wanted Zalmug to die for all the hurt he inflicted on Zaya.


    Alas, change happened often in the Celegan Hollows, and, in Tuya¡¯s experience, it was never good. Were two tamers to die, they might be replaced by even worse monsters. Monsters who sifted through thoughts, punishing you for any mental transgression. Monsters who could track you down and trace you, leaving you nowhere to hide, not even within your own mind. Monsters who cared nothing for you except for planting their seed and using you to bring them good water or Celegana¡¯s blessings. If there was one thing Tuya learned in the turning of the seasons, it was that there was always a worse monster. The pain would never end. She would never be free. The faraway lands were nothing more than a dream that could never come true for Tuya of the Hollows or any of the many like her.


    Zaya pressed her mouth against Tuya¡¯s ear. ¡°You must never let the tamers know how well you hear the wild, Tuya.¡±


    ¡°They will hurt me for it?¡±


    ¡°Yes. If they knew what you can hear, they would kill you.¡±


    The void in her chest would not cease to expand until Tuya felt an absolute, gnawing emptiness. All these men had ever done was hurt her simply for being born and they would kill her for something she could not control. Tuya tried to quiet the cries, but they never stopped. ¡°Why?¡± Tuya croaked. ¡°Why do they hate me?¡±


    She whimpered in the dark, dank, hollowed tree, not understanding and helpless to change anything.


    Zaya cradled Tuya in her arms. The wise woman from the faraway land swallowed a heavy lump in her throat. ¡°They hate you because they are afraid of you.¡±


    Tuya could not comprehend. Unlike Zaya, she was small. Her bones were like frail rocks covered by the thinnest layer of dirt. She lacked the strength to contemplate doing anything to the smallest tamer. Them being afraid of her was like her being afraid of the bugs that scurried out when you picked up a stone. These men, these mighty tamers who could seize control of a creature¡¯s mind and body as easily as they could deliver her death with their fists, could not fear a girl like Tuya.


    ¡°Tuya, you know about bad dreams where they hurt you?¡±


    She nodded. Not all dreams were of flying away and finding faraway lands where people did not hate her. Reliving beatings, watching women torn from their babes, seeing the tamed beasts stalk them as they ran, women devoured as tamers laughed, visions of her own day of first blood, and on and on. Worst of all, she dreamt of Tugal¡¯s chimaera, a creature said to be able to kill unlike any other. Three-headed monstrosities ruled her dreams as well as her days.


    ¡°You are to the tamers, what the chimaera is to us,¡± Zaya whispered. ¡°A nightmare. You have strength hiding inside of you, Tuya, strength that can break the Spire, but you must keep it secret. You, Tuya, are my hope.¡±


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    Zaya¡¯s words made no sense. Tuya rejected them in her heart. ¡°But I am so small.¡±


    Zaya defied the tamers, risking a beating most severe. Khorota were not allowed to look each other, and definitely not tamers, in the eye. Despite the danger, it felt wonderful to see Zaya¡¯s smile. That tiny feeling with no name was not so small now. For a few moments, fear and hatred were the little things, held at bay by this other sensation. Tuya smiled back at her, working her most atrophied muscles of all.


    Zaya¡¯s grin expanded, reflecting Tuya¡¯s. Zaya cupped Tuya¡¯s chin. ¡°How could they not be afraid of little Tuya with the olive skin of the faraway lands of Isihla and the cutest smile?¡±


    Tuya giggled, and joy went too far, summoning the fear. Looking into each other¡¯s eyes! Laughing! Smiling! If the tamers came it would be a beating to end all beatings. Tuya scampered away, not daring to peek out of the hollow. Eyes to the dirt, frowning, and quiet, as they wanted her to be. She hid, making herself small, wondering what strength could possibly be inside of her as the cries of every tamed creature in this world pounded within her skull, begging for freedom that she could not grant them.


    It was then, on this rainy, dreary day, that Zaya spoke the most important words Tuya would ever hear in her life. ¡°They fear Tuya, The Untamed, who can listen to the wild and break their binds. They are not afraid of you now, but they should be, and they will be. You can set us free, Tuya.¡±


    Realization dawned on her, a ray of light piercing the dark, dark raingivers and beaming into Tuya¡¯s mind, changing it forevermore. ¡°Do the other khorota not hear the voices I do?¡±


    Zaya whispered, ¡°Some do, but you are stronger, Tuya, stronger than the nightmares of the tamers, stronger than even your dreams could imagine.¡±


    For the first time in her life, Tuya comprehended that she was not useless, that she was not powerless, that she was not hopeless. Dreams filled her young mind, a mind unlike any other and exactly like every other. The empty pit in her chest filled with hope. No matter how many times they tried to drown her, she would never stop swimming for the surface. No matter how they tried to break her, to tame her, she would remain untamed. She would break the binds they held over the others, whether blooded women, little khorota like her, or the endless herd of creatures they possessed. She would bring freedom to the little girls who could only hide and the women who could not escape. She would put the Ezen and his empire on its knees. Thus, dreamed a child exactly like every other and unlike any other.


    In that moment, a beacon of hope burning within, Tuya used her power. She closed her eyes and sought out one of the seemingly infinite voices crying for their mind and body to be theirs again. It was like trying to find a specific drop of water in the rushing of the flowing water. The strongest and closest pulses suppressed the others. Zalmug and Khargoth blasted each other with hateful thoughts as they tried to seize possession of the other¡¯s mind. Such violent rage made Tuya shrink away, doubting whether she could ever withstand such a ferocious onslaught.


    Tuya retreated from the edges of their minds, sending her consciousness anywhere else as fast as she could. In the turbulence of her escape, she sifted through the pleas of the tamed and sought one distinct enough that she could separate it from the masses. Scrunching her brow, clenching her teeth, and squeezing her eyes shut, she focused until she isolated the cries of a creature soaring above the Hollows. The great bird cried for home, for a place faraway across the big, evil water where a great tree rose above two flowing waters atop the high hill where the flowers of every color bloomed.


    Tuya caught the bird¡¯s thought, experienced his feelings, saw his beautiful, wonderful, dreamlike home. His thoughts merged with hers, became one with hers, and resonated with every drop of her being. This bird, unlike her in so many ways, wanted the exact same thing as her. He wanted to fly away to the place where he belonged. A place far away from the Hollows.


    Tuya reached her mind toward his and projected to him, Fly away, friend. Be free.


    Yet, the bird was not free. A third mind lurked within his, the one that chained his mind and commanded his body. The tamer repelled Tuya, lashing out with psionic hatred. Khorota!


    The tamer projected thoughts of ripping out Tuya¡¯s throat and pounding her with his heavy fists, of hordes of tamers lining up to penetrate her, of large beasts devouring her flesh while she still lived, of murdering every other woman, girl, and babe in her region.


    Tuya shrank. In her panic, she sought refuge. Tears flowed down her face, as she was plunged back into the flood of memories, into helplessness. She pulled away, defeated and downtrodden. The great bird reached after her, cawing desperately for salvation that only she could provide. Tuya interpreted the bird¡¯s thoughts and feelings. Don¡¯t leave me alone with him! Don¡¯t leave me behind!


    Zaya embraced her, pulling Tuya into her lap, whispering, ¡°You are strong, Tuya.¡±


    Tuya wanted to believe in Zaya¡¯s words, wanted to believe she was strong. She wanted not to fail for once in her life. Despite the tamer¡¯s incessant stream of threats, of vitriol, of arrogance, Tuya held to the beacon of hope Zaya lit within her. For the first time, Tuya did not make herself small, she did not hide. Tuya tethered her mind to the bird¡¯s. Fly away, friend. Be free. Fly away to the place where you belong.


    Her defiance stunned the tamer. She shoved him with her consciousness, striking him madly with years of suppressed anger, clawing him with psychic talons she never knew she had. Fighting for the freedom of the bird, but also fighting for the little girl who cowered and took her beatings, fighting for every girl in the Hollows who suffered like her.


    The tamer¡¯s fury turned to fear as she overpowered him, enveloping him in her wrath and might. His fears transmitted everything he felt and thought to her. He was a mere servant of Tugal ezen Celegan, trying his best not to be humiliated and broken for this failure. For losing to a tiny khorota! He sat high atop Celegana¡¯s Spire, rain matting his dark hair and drenching his furs, skin turning snowier as the blood rushed to his head and flowed from nose, ears, mouth, and eyes while he strained to maintain his control over the giant bird. Yet, right on the surface, he knew it was hopeless for he could not match her might. Defeated by a khorota, a puny, worthless, unblooded girl. Other tamers pointed at him, laughing at his struggle, barraging him with insults. They thought he struggled with the beast. The tamer resolved to never let them know the truth.


    He clambered toward the edge of the Spire. Then leapt.


    Tuya released his mind as he plummeted. The tamer¡¯s mind vanished from her awareness, like a pebble blown into the evil waters by a mighty wind. He was gone, revealing a hopeful truth. ¡°I am strong.¡±


    Both Zaya and the bird answered, ¡°You are.¡±


    Zaya caressed Tuya¡¯s head, stifling her sobs. Tuya could not comprehend Zaya¡¯s sadness, but she felt every shared sensation of the great bird. He reclaimed his body, adjusting and correcting his flight for the long journey home. Tuya soared above the Hollows, seeing them from the superior eyes of the untamed bird. She did not control the bird as the tamers did, but coexisted. Those great earthen wings glided over the evil waters and his snowy head sought the way home. For once, things felt right.


    Such good things did not last in the Hollows of Celegana. Another tamer tried to force itself upon the great bird. The tamer¡¯s angry voice was a great gale blasting into Tuya and her friend. The bird dove, wild thoughts of never wanting to be tamed again sending him into a panicked frenzy. His panic, his plunge into that old, familiar flood, beckoned Tuya to do the same. Her life¡¯s pain compelled her to lose hope, to shrink, to cower, to hide, to await the beating.


    For all that, the tamer struggled. Even in fear, her link with the bird barred the tamer as if he was sprinting into impenetrable old stones rather than throwing a little girl into the mud.


    I am strong, she reminded herself. Hope flared within her. She did not hide from this man. She did not await the inevitable beating. She definitely did not make herself small. Tuya shielded the great bird¡¯s mind, projecting her will to keep the tamer away. You cannot have him. He is free!


    The tamer retreated, abandoning his efforts to break through her walls. Soon, more tamers than she had fingers tried to shatter her protection of the bird. None could so much as make her wince, let alone challenge her. She repelled them, ejecting their consciousnesses back through space, returning them to the bodies of the tamers who tried to take the bird¡¯s freedom.


    Once it was clear, no more tamers would challenge her, the great bird steadied his wings and his panic dissipated. In place of fear, he projected his gratitude to her, as well as that nameless, but wonderful, sensation Tuya oft felt. I fly away now, free, the bird thought to her. To the great tree with all the blooms, to my mate, to my life. Forever, you go with my gratitude and, the bird gave name to the feeling, name Tuya knew no words for, name for something she would hold on to, forever, love.


    Tuya grasped that feeling and gave voice to it, Fly away to the faraway lands. Fly away to the place where you belong. Fly away with my love, friend. Be free.


    Tuya opened her eyes, already missing the feeling of flight, of going to the place she belonged, far, far away. The Hollows soon reminded her of where she remained.


    Zalmug collapsed on the ground and gripped his head, roaring in pain and fury. Khargoth wiped the blood from his nose and moved toward his claimed. Sarnai cried out as Khargoth pushed her against the old stones and penetrated her. The big, brawny beast of a man showed no gentleness in his touch and hit Sarnai, berating each sob the frail girl emitted, warning her that if she cried during the planting, she would yield a useless, whiny khorota just like her.


    Zaya pulled Tuya away from the opening in the hollowed-out tree they shared. Desperation thrummed from her, Tuya sensing it with her mind. ¡°Promise me, Tuya. Promise me that you will hide your strength from them. Promise me that you will grow and learn to use it.¡± Zaya¡¯s voice cracked. ¡°Promise me that you will fly away. Promise me that you will free yourself, that you will free as many as you can. Promise me, Tuya.¡±


    Tuya turned to Zaya and again did the weird, wonderful thing where their eyes looked at each other. Alas, there was no smiling now. Zaya¡¯s face was covered in tears. The big woman did not cry when the tamers beat her or forced themselves on her. Why then did she cry now? ¡°Zaya?¡±


    Zaya squeezed Tuya¡¯s shoulders so much that it hurt. ¡°Promise me, Tuya!¡±


    Tuya recoiled. She cowered, sinking low, eyes to the dirt, and scurried away.


    Zaya knelt to meet Tuya¡¯s level and softened her voice. ¡°Tuya, promise me you will do your best. Promise me you will fly away from here. Promise me you will grow as strong as you can.¡±


    Tuya held her eyes on the dirt, confused and scared.


    Zaya lifted Tuya¡¯s chin until their eyes collided again. ¡°Remember, Tuya, you are strong. You can do anything. Promise me you will do your best. Promise me you will¡ª


    Zaya crashed to the ground. Tuya twisted in time to see Zalmug¡¯s nasty, scarred face, covered in hair, with blood trailing from his nose, ears, mouth, and eyes. He kicked her in the chest. ¡°No touching!¡±


    Tuya heaved for air, feeling something broken inside of her. Her vision blurred and her ears rang. Zalmug seized her hair and dragged her out of the hollow. This was it. She was going to die. Zalmug chose to take out his rage over the claiming on her. More than ever, Tuya wanted to live, wanted to fly away, to be free. She squealed as he cocked his fist and lifted her off the ground by her hair.


    Then the unthinkable happened.


    ¡°Stop!¡±


    Even in that moment, when pain racked her world, Tuya understood why Zaya cried and why she wanted Tuya to promise. Zaya knew her fate the moment Zalmug lost the claiming, and she would not let Tuya take her place.


    ¡°You do not command Zalmug!¡±


    The tamer tossed Tuya aside. She tumbled to the ground, slipping through the mud. Her chest hurt so bad, she did not know if she would ever rise again.


    Zalmug seized Zaya by her long, dark hair, forcing her toward the meadow in the middle of the hollows of this region. Rain and tears blended on Tuya¡¯s face as she watched Zalmug slam Zaya¡¯s head into a tree and then hammer her with a rock the size of tamer¡¯s fist. Tuya winced, knowing each of those hits were for her, and that guilt carried her down into a pit of helplessness and self-loathing. She would not have survived this beating and nobody would have cared, nobody except Zaya.


    When Zalmug was done, and Zaya on the verge of death, he discarded her upon the ground like she was dirt. The wisest, bravest, strongest person Tuya knew was nothing to these men and everything to her. The monster spat in Zaya¡¯s face, stepped on the belly swollen with his seed, and screamed for her to obey him. The threats were garbled with sputtering fury, but Tuya knew he would deliver on them. Zaya would be beaten every dawn and every dusk until she birthed his seedling. If she dared to disobey again, he would rip the babe from her womb himself, claiming that if the seedling died in the process, it was because it was a weak, disobedient disgrace just like the one who carried it.


    Near the old stones, Sarnai cried out, her face hardly recognizable and her body covered in welts and bruises. Khargoth pulled himself out of her, declaring that he planted a mighty tamer, a great conqueror, within the khorota. He threw her in the mud and commanded she lay there until the rain stopped as punishment for crying like the evil water goddess.


    Within Tuya, countless minds called out to her, begging for freedom as Tugal¡¯s tamers possessed their bodies and did his bidding. She gripped at the broken things in her chest, struggling to move, struggling to conceal her own tears lest another tamer kill her for crying.


    This was misery. This was pain. Just when she thought it was as bad as it could ever be, she relearned once more that change happened often in the Celegan Hollows and it was never good.


    ¡°Get up,¡± Zalmug barked at Zaya. ¡°We are leaving.¡±


    Tuya clenched her jaw shut, stifling the scream. It escaped her lips as a mousy squeal. She glared at Zalmug, closed her fists, and imagined punching him again and again, just like she had clawed at the tamer¡¯s mind when freeing the bird. He would take Zaya away, leaving her alone in these Hollows where not a person cared whether she lived or died. How could she endure this life without her, without the small pieces of that special feeling? How could she survive this ordeal without Zaya¡¯s love?


    Zalmug pulled Zaya to her feet and shoved her to the far side of the meadow. Soon, she would be beyond Tuya¡¯s reach. Zaya looked back, earning her a kick, a shove, and a reminder that if she disobeyed he would rip the little tamer from her womb.


    Tuya tried to reach her feet, tried to chase after Zaya, dreaming of hiding behind her and trailing her to wherever she went. The tamers here would not miss her. Zaya was the only one who even knew she existed. Holding her chest, pushing through the pain, she limped after Zaya and Zalmug. Tuya quickened her step, though it intensified each ache in her tiny body. She crunched a branch. Zalmug spotted her.


    The tamer yanked Zaya to her knees and stomped toward Tuya. She froze even as her dreams melted away like the snows when the heat returned. Zalmug threw her to the ground, gripped her neck with his meaty paw, and strangled her. Again, she knew this was the end. He spat on her, called her a stupid little khorota, and squeezed until her vision blurred. Tuya¡¯s resistance gave way to not wanting to live in a world without Zaya. She did not fight this man, even though any fight would have been hopeless. Not even Zaya stood up for her now. This was the end.


    Zalmug let her go. Tuya gasped for air, though her chest screamed in pain from the heavy breathing. He put his foot on her belly, crushing her into the ground with his man weight. ¡°Weak. You are not even worth the effort of killing. If I see you again, little khorota, I will be the last thing you see. Do you hear me?¡±


    Tuya nodded, blinking back tears. What else could she do?


    Satisfied, Zalmug spat on her, barked at Zaya and led her away.


    Zaya looked back once, only to be slapped and howled at by Zalmug. How Tuya wished she was stronger, how she wished she could blood him all over the meadow, and every other tamer here from Tugal atop the Spire to the lowest of them down here in the Hollows. Alas, she was weak.


    I am strong, she reminded herself.


    Tuya reached for Zaya with her consciousness. She found her, walling off her broken spirit from weeping. Tuya touched her mind. I promise, Zaya. I promise I will do my best. I promise I will grow. I promise I will find you and set you free.


    Zaya did not look back again, but Tuya heard her thoughts and felt Zaya¡¯s love. Fly away, Tuya. Free yourself and never look back.


    Like that, Zaya was gone. Gone from sight and gone from Tuya¡¯s mind. She would never be gone from memory, nor from her heart.


    Tuya remembered. She breathed in, stilled the breathing, and breathed out, just like Zaya taught her. She could have chosen to give in to her pain as the tamers took away her everything. She could have accepted their words, could have seen herself as weak and worthless. Tuya could have given away her power, refused to believe she could ever set anyone free, least of all herself. Tuya could have chosen to let this be the moment where despair became the shadow that followed her for all her days.


    Instead, Tuya of the Hollows closed her eyes. She heard the cries of the tamed and made an oath during the worst moment of her young life, an oath to hope, even though her pain had never been worse. I will fly away, mother, but I will grow strong enough to free you and everyone who is tamed. I promise.


    Tuya opened her eyes. In a world unlike any other and exactly like every other, there was a child exactly like any other and unlike every other. Had anyone cared, which everyone should, had anyone seen, which nobody did, they would have noticed that when she opened her eyes something was changed. For once, this change was good, and this change carried the hopes of millions, and the dreams of generations, even though they did not know it, and many would never know.


    Tuya¡¯s eyes were not the same brown of the land they had been before she shut them. Had anyone cared or dared to see, they would see that those brown eyes were now a shimmering silver, like two radiant lightmakers stolen from the night sky. Despite the darkness of this world unlike any other and exactly like every other, this child exactly like every other and unlike any other saw light where others saw only darkness. That small change would make all the difference in the story of a world unlike any other and exactly like every other.

 Chapter Two: Paintaker

    Chapter Two: Paintaker


    Even though the world looked different through Tuya¡¯s new eyes, it was the same world it had always been.


    On this dreary day where the lightmaker was trapped behind the raingivers, Tuya¡¯s eyes saw the world as though it were the brightest day that had ever been. Her new vision did not just disregard darkness, but enhanced every little detail, far, far beyond that of the great bird she freed earlier this morn. Lying in the same mud, in the same pain, in this unchanged place, Tuya could make out each splinter of wood on the outermost hollow, could detect each muddy spot on the blood-hued bug flying on the far side of the meadow between the trees, and see the dread upon the faces of tiny khorota lurking in the darkened hollows. Far or near, it mattered not, Tuya saw each thing, big or little, with more clarity than she ever had before.


    What was already exposed became more apparent but what was once hidden revealed itself too. Countless streams of mist floated high above her, extending toward the colossal Spire where the tamers consolidated their power under Tugal ezen Celegan. She knew the vaporous entities for what they were, consciousnesses spreading far and wide, linking the minds of the tamers to the bodies of the tamed they controlled throughout the Hollows and the lands beyond. The trees themselves were coated in a translucent glow at their roots that nearly blended in with the dirt. Tuya knew not what this meant, but seeing this lustrous glimmer made her lips arch up with wonder.


    For all her silver eyes shone and saw, little good it did for her lying upon the ground, crunched into the mud, her upper body wracked with immobilizing pain. This was still the Hollows, no matter that it seemed a new world to Tuya¡¯s eyes. Worse, Zaya was not here to make her pain smaller.


    All that remained of Zaya were memories and promises. Those would have to be enough, even if they often felt like they were not. I will be strong, Zaya. Just like you showed me I can be.


    Once, during the season of blooming flowers, a tamer sent Tuya to the flowing water to fill a weird rock for him. The weird rock he gave her cracked when she dipped it into the water and even with her hand covering the crack, most of the good water leaked through by the time she found the tamer. The tamer shattered the weird rock on her belly and its jagged points embedded deep. She crawled back to her hollow, certain that she would die from the pain and the bleeding. Zaya brought her a flower with sky petals and a lightmaker center and set it down beside Tuya¡¯s nostrils. The pain receded while Zaya removed the fragments of the weird rock and rubbed mud on them. Clutching at her chest, Tuya used her new vision to seek sky petals and lightmaker center.


    Alas, Tuya knew the season was wrong for the paintaker. The flower bloomed during the season of regrowth and died by the end of the season of heat. By now, Celegana¡¯s earth was into the heart of the season of slow death where the leaves turned to their dying colors and fell from the hollows. The sky petals would be withered and fallen just like the leaves while the lightmaker center would have long lost all luster.


    Hopeless. The flower could not survive where it was not meant to be. Tuya would be trapped with this pain, carrying it with her until her chest healed. If it ever got better, or if she lived long enough for it to heal, unable to do her tasks for the tamers because of the pain. This would be the time she finally died. Then again, Tuya had thought that many times before and was still here. Somehow.


    Tuya buried the thought. She could not abandon her promise to do her best, to grow, to fly away, to set Zaya free. If the khorota could survive in the Hollows, perhaps Celegana could spare just one of those flowers. Tuya hoped, a dangerous thing to do in the Hollows.


    Even her enhanced eyes saw no sign of the sky petals and lightmaker center. Defeat tugged at her again, but she fought it away. Just like all the hidden things now seen, just because she could not see it did not mean it was not there. If she hid great strength within her, this flower could hide itself, even in the season of the slow death. Tuya grasped for hope, seeking it from the source, even if Zaya was gone from her life. Remember, Tuya, you are strong. You can do anything. Promise me you will do your best.


    Tuya closed her eyes and searched the wilds with her mind. Sky petals. Lightmaker center. Sky petals. Lightmaker center. Paintaker. She imagined the flower, transmitting that thought out as if shouting through the region with her consciousness. Her mind opened, letting everything else in. The voices of the tamed, uncountable minds like the great bird from earlier, pleaded for freedom.


    I will do my best, she assured them all, trying to be strong like Zaya wanted her to be, but now I must find a paintaker.


    Somehow, the voices went silent for the first time. Her mind was still, even the despair and hatred that permeated the Hollows went quiet. Tuya noted this wonderful freedom, but she was far from free of her pain.


    Breathing, just like Zaya taught her, she focused on her memory of the paintaker. I need you, paintaker. Where are you?


    Tuya¡¯s mind tingled with a faint sensation like being pricked by a tiny tree needle. She reached her mind toward the sensation, grasping for the faint pulse of a dying lifeform, and found it. Her mind attuned to the flower, sensing its direction in relation to her. Better, Tuya opened her eyes, and saw the wispy trail of colorless consciousness linking her to the dying paintaker. Crawling through the mud on her side, trying to limit her pain, her eyes soon placed the flower near the old stones. Like she expected, the paintaker¡¯s petals were withered, many fallen, and all of them decayed. The flower¡¯s needs transmitted through her link with it. Too much water now, not enough light, too cold. The paintaker¡¯s stem drooped toward the ground, like a khorota awaiting death.


    Tuya pushed through the pain, crawling ever closer to the one who could take it away. This moment of struggle felt so large right now, but as Zaya used to say, looking back never felt as hard as living through when you were doing what you were meant to do. She was meant to survive, to grow, to set free, to, someday, be a paintaker herself.


    Thus, Tuya dredged her body through the mud, through mist, and past the hollows of many khorota. She did not crawl a direct path, choosing to avoid the bigger trees where the tamers stayed dry from the torrential downpour. She calculated that the only large tamer hollow she would pass would be the massive blood-shaded tree with all the intertwined branches that used to belong to Zalmug before he took Zaya away.


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    Alas, change happened often in the Celegan Hollows, and, in Tuya¡¯s experience, it was never good. Tamer Khargoth sat inside Zalmug¡¯s vacated hollow. The huge man ate Zalmug¡¯s abandoned meat, sat on the furs Sarnai had made for Zalmug, and looked happier with his situation than he deserved.


    The paintaker was nestled between the roots of another tree beside the old stones, easily in view of Khargoth¡¯s new hollow on a clear day. This was no clear day, and Tuya¡¯s eyes no longer saw the world as others did. She contemplated her options, as the paintaker emitted its needs again and again. Tuya chose to risk another kick if it meant she could take away her own pain and the flower¡¯s pain.


    Tuya slid through the mud, trying to avoid places where leaves and twigs might crunch, going as far out of range of Khargoth¡¯s sight as she could. At the nearest point, she stopped to watch Khargoth¡¯s movement. The big man kept chewing on the meat, sitting on the furs, showing no signs that he knew she was there. Tuya dared not to look into his eyes, lest it provoke more retribution than a kick. Pushing down her fear, she crept toward the paintaker.


    She braved a look over her shoulder, finding Khargoth still inside Zalmug¡¯s hollow, and then reached her bony hand out to the paintaker. She shielded the flower from the evil rain goddess¡¯s wrath. It cast off no scent, and thus, her pain persisted.


    Can you take my pain? Tuya asked.


    The flower emitted a faint awareness, lacking the fullness of human or bestial thought, but it transmitted a sentience to Tuya through their link. I am not myself. I am not what I am meant to be.


    Empathy blossomed within Tuya. She knew well that feeling. She spoke to the flower as though she would speak to anyone she loved and cared about. You wither and lose yourself. You who eases pain have had nobody care about or ease yours. I would change that, Paintaker. I would try to nurture you and make you yourself again. Tuya remembered the khorota who went to the cliffs and chose death. If you want me to.


    My scent is gone, Paintaker transmitted. Tuya felt the plant¡¯s sadness and anger as though they were her own. I never spread myself to distant soils through the hands of the carriers. I am dying.


    Tuya caressed the flower¡¯s stem. If I can help you recover your scent, I will carry you to new soils. I would help you find the place where you belong, where your seeds will prosper.


    The flower returned a faint sensation of happiness, followed by a desolate sadness. I am scentless. The soils will not have me anymore.


    Tuya knew what it was like to believe you had nothing to offer the world and no place where you belonged. She wanted Paintaker to know that, at least in her heart, it was not unwanted. Her care flowed through their link even as she took on Paintaker¡¯s pain.


    In their exchange, she felt the flower open to her, granting permission for her to do her best, even though Paintaker knew it was dying and scentless. Tuya lifted Paintaker¡¯s limp stem and sheltered it with a canopy made of her other hand. The sky petals were smudged by dirt from far below its place in the world and the lightmaker center did not shine. This is not you, Tuya told the flower.


    Tuya¡¯s empathy summoned her own tears as she shared Paintaker¡¯s pain. You will be yourself again. Your scent will return and make pain smaller. You will spread your seed to new soils.


    Tuya used her hidden strength, willing these thoughts to become true. Her eyes shined light upon Paintaker, the same earthen glow Tuya saw at the roots of the hollows flowed from her touch, infusing Paintaker. She held gently to the flower, giving it her strength and projecting, Be you, Paintaker. Sky petals and lightmaker center.


    Color returned to the petals and the flower¡¯s core. The stem gained strength, no longer needing her support to stand above the mud. Sweet scent filled the air, triumphing over the rain¡¯s heavy, earthen aroma. Tuya inhaled Paintaker¡¯s perfume. Her chest pain receded and her breaths came easier. The broken things inside her were not healed, but she would be able to live with them until they did. The flower continued to heal too, until it became a resplendent paragon of its kind. Several layers of sky petals formed a circle around the central petal that shined as if it were the big lightmaker itself. None of this brought Tuya as much happiness as Paintaker¡¯s bliss.


    I am me! I am me! I am me!


    Tuya smiled, sharing in the happiness of making one more of themselves. She pressed her nose to the flower¡¯s central petal, inhaling his blessed aroma. You are you and you are wonderful, Paintaker!


    Carry me! the flower demanded.


    Tuya pushed down her frustration at Paintaker¡¯s sudden imperiousness. It was, after all, a flower, not a tamer. Paintaker wanted fulfillment, just like any other living thing, and Tuya had promised to carry him to new soils.


    She grasped Paintaker¡¯s stem and carefully freed him from the land.


    Yes! Carry me! Take me to the new soils!


    Tuya crept away from the old stones, away from Tamer Khargoth, concealing Paintaker in her hands. A pained cry came from the far side of the old stones. Tuya released her connection with Paintaker and was bombarded by the thoughts of countless tamed and the gloomy mood of the Hollows. The bliss she felt moments ago was buried beneath the despair of so much suffering. Tuya wished she could take it all away, the way she had for Paintaker, or at least make it smaller somehow.


    The girl cried out again and Tuya carried her pain with her as it pressed against her mind. Such misery, such sorrow, such devastation of body, mind, and spirit, weighed upon Tuya like the Spire upon Celegana¡¯s earth. She must do something, anything, to make Sarnai¡¯s pain smaller.


    Tuya skulked around the old stones, using the fog to cover her movement, watching with her weird eyes for the tamers. None of the tamers cared about Khargoth¡¯s crying claimed out in the rain. They hoped she died before Khargoth¡¯s seed took root but they would not challenge him again so soon. Khargoth himself emitted a euphoric self-satisfaction for having won her and taught her the proper place of one claimed by a tamer so mighty as he. Unguarded, Tuya could hear his mind, imagining how tough treatment of the claimed would strengthen his seed.


    Tuya promised herself that she would do everything she could to help Sarnai from this monster¡¯s cruelty, starting now. She knelt beside the battered girl, thinking to herself that Sarnai looked withered much like Paintaker had before she helped the flower. ¡°I am here, Sarnai.¡±


    Sarnai flinched at the sound of her voice, breaking Tuya¡¯s little heart. The blooded girl lay belly down in the mud, cold rain pattering on her back, her eyes downcast.


    ¡°You are not alone,¡± Tuya said. ¡°I will help you.¡± She set Paintaker in front of Sarnai, letting the aroma filter through the pained girl¡¯s nostrils.


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°Because I love you,¡± Tuya said.


    Sarnai inhaled the flower¡¯s scent. As she breathed, Tuya brushed her fingers through Sarnai¡¯s hair just like Zaya had often done to her, being sure to avoid running her fingers through the tangled knots and hurting Sarnai. ¡°Love? What is that?¡± Sarnai asked, her voice growing stronger as the aroma softened her pains.


    Tuya pondered that question, seeking the words to explain that small feeling that kept her alive. She realized what it was that Zaya had given her all these seasons. ¡°Love is when you care about someone so much that you will share their pain and you are willing to do whatever you can to make their pain smaller.¡±


    ¡°You love me?¡±


    ¡°I do.¡±


    ¡°Why? Why would anyone love me?¡±


    Tuya looked into Sarnai¡¯s eyes. ¡°Because you deserve to be loved, Sarnai. No matter how much the tamers call us worthless, all of us deserve to be loved.¡±


    Sarnai held Tuya¡¯s eyes, tears still falling. She reached out, placing her hand in Tuya¡¯s. ¡°Then I will love you too, so that you have at least one person who will make your pain smaller, Tuya.¡±


    Huddled on the ground with Sarnai, making each other¡¯s pain smaller, Tuya felt found, at last. Seasons would change and so would she. She would grow. She would learn how to use her strength and her sight. She would care for the women of the Hollows, listen to them, provide them with food, with remedies, and with love. After all, that was what they all deserved.

 Chapter Three: Changes

    Chapter Three: Changes


    Seasons changed.


    The snows fell and brought with them hard days of hunger and the uncaring cold that froze the life out of many. The world warmed, life bloomed in the Hollows, if only to be plucked like berries from the bush before they could ripen. The merciless lightmaker grew fierce, leaving many exposed and desiccated while the flowing waters dried. The leaves on the hollows faded to brighter colors before falling dead upon the bloodstained grounds.


    The cycling of the seasons remained constant, but the Hollows changed in many ways since that rainy day. Celegana¡¯s Spire, the massive rise of melded earth and tree that loomed over the Hollows the way a giant man loomed over a little girl, never changed. The tamer who sat upon Munderra, the throne of earth and tree at its apex, did. The Great Ezen Tugal was no more. A more powerful tamer seized the title by wresting Tugal¡¯s chimaera from him and sending Tugal from the top of the Spire down into the evil waters below. Gurgaldai ezen Celegan sat upon Munderra and overlooked the Celegan peninsula and the Hollows that extended for as far as eyes could see beneath him. The tamers spoke of Gurgaldai¡¯s triumph over the giant pretenders of the sunset lands beyond the Hollows from where Zaya came. Now, Gurgaldai set his eyes upon new faraway lands, seeking to return the heathens and pretenders to Celegana¡¯s natural order.


    As the seasons changed, new women were brought into the Hollows. These newcomers were not like the giants Zaya had been, but neither were they the snowy-complexioned, dark-eyed folk native to the Hollows. Some had blood-tinted skins with earthy hair and eyes. Others had lightmaker-tinted skin that could either be dark or pale with eyes that bore the coloring of grass or sky and hair that was pure darkness. Neither group of newcomers looked like Tuya and neither spoke much to the natives of the Hollows. When they tried, the sounds were incomprehensible. Only with her mind strength, could Tuya understand their immense sorrows. Most of the newcomers died before, or not long after, they yielded their first tamer seedling, whether it was a khorota or a tamer. The tamers claimed these deaths were proof of their own superiority, of the might of Celegana, and the weakness of the pretenders. To Tuya, the dying of the newcomers only proved the cruelty of the tamers and each one she failed to save left her feeling hollow.


    As the seasons changed, the suffering of the women living in the Hollows remained a constant. Yet, for some of them, in one region of the Hollows, pain became smaller. It was in this region, where one child unlike any other and exactly like every other planted the seeds of the Paintaker within every hollow where women might find shelter, and tended them so they thrived in every season.


    The seasons cycled seven times in the life of the one who made pain smaller and still the wound of losing Zaya buried itself deep in Tuya. She carried on as she always did, trying her best to be the comfort that Zaya was to her for the women around her. She thought often of the woman she called mother and the first thing she did every day when she woke was remember her promise. The world changed, the people changed, even Tuya changed, but that promise never changed. Her promise was the constant guiding light in the dark world within which she persevered.


    This morning, unlike any other and exactly like every other, was nestled in the space between the season of cold and the season of birth. The last several rises and falls of the lightmaker saw the heat rise and fall dramatically, like a tamer that could not decide whether he was going to beat you near to death or if he was going to let it pass just this once. This morning was one of the coldest in many, like an oppressive tamer bound on making you hurt no matter what you did. Alas, one change in these six cycles of the seasons was of most importance to the girl unlike any other. Tuya used her eyes to find freedom in the dark places where others could not see. On this day of change, Tuya lurked in a dark place beneath the Hollows where none could find her.


    Tuya crouched near her small fire, enjoying the surfeit of roasted mushrooms, snails, and shrimp, skewered on a stick, savoring the warmth of the flames. She listened to the sizzle and crackle of the fire set against the susurrus sound of the evil water crashing against the dark place¡¯s rocks. She kept her walls up, not letting the unchanging cries of the many tamed in this world nor the despair and the hatred of those living above her disturb this moment of bittersweet solitude and loneliness.


    With every rise and fall of the lightmaker, Tuya dreamt of what it would be like to have a friend down here. Someone to help prepare and carry the blessings she snuck to the others, someone to share her responsibilities and the pressures of her promise, someone to talk to, someone to love where no tamers could hurt them. Sarnai asked often where Tuya found her blessings, but Tuya never told her about the dark place that only she could find. As she always did when she felt lonely, Tuya reminded herself why she could not share this secret. The tamers could pry into minds, could use caring about someone as another means of control, could make pain so much more than it was. If a tamer like Makhun learned of the secrets of Tuya¡¯s dark place, or how much she loved Sarnai¡­


    Tuya must be alone because she needed to make pain smaller, even if it meant increasing her own.


    She swallowed the last morsel on her skewer, a juicy shrimp gathered from the little flowing water that ran through her dark place on its way to joining the evil water beyond the rocks. The seasons of sustenance in the dark changed her. Tuya swam in the little flowing water, jumped over the deep cracks, crawled through the little holes, lifted the weird rocks, and ran, and ran, and ran through the dark place, dreaming of the day she would finally fly away from here.


    Flesh covered her skeleton, giving her strength, and something else that meant much to the tamers. When she looked at her reflection in the little flowing water, she saw what the tamers could.


    ¡°The good khorota.¡±


    Thus, spoke the tamers about Tuya of the Hollows. Too often the sobriquet was followed by their declarations of intent to claim her once her first blood arrived. She forced a smile when they spoke to her, kept her eyes down upon Celegana¡¯s earth, promised to birth many strong tamers, and continued to give them just enough of her blessings that they would be pleased with her in deed as well as in appearance. They still pulled her hair and dragged her, they still smacked her bosom and spanked her buttocks, they still shoved her against the trees and barked at her, but no more did they strike her ¡°good¡± face. In fact, since Makhun arrived they rarely struck her at all.


    You did this, khorota.


    Tuya darted toward the numbroot wall, running as far as she could from too many fresh memories. The memories chased her, Makhun¡¯s voice repeating in her mind, You did this, khorota. Too many broken faces, none of them hers. Too many cries, some of them hers. Too much self-blame, all of it hers.


    The numbroot covered the rocks where the evil water splashed, lapping up the salty wetness that found its way through the cracks. Tuya lowered her own walls, letting in the noises of the tamed, the feelings of the Hollows, but also opening herself to the numbroot. She attached her consciousness to the blessed plants, focusing on the needs of others to numb her own. If ever there was a better way of making her own pain smaller, she had yet to discover it in her cycles of the seasons.


    Tuya ran her hand along the numbroot and listened. The roots were unhappy with the sudden cold, so she left some flaming sticks near their growing place. The stems wanted water without the evil, thirsty as any creature could be. Tuya filled her biggest weird rock with the good flowing water, and used a smaller weird rock to slosh some good water on the numbroot stems. The leaves wanted just a little light. She beamed brightness from her eyes, gazing upon the leaves of the numbroot. Lastly, they all wanted to be more of themselves. Tuya used her strength. The translucent earthy essence flowed from her fingertips, invigorating every numbroot she touched. With each wave of heat, each splash of water, each beam of light, each touch of strength, the numbroot emitted gratitude and pride. Their appreciation helped dampen the memories of others being battered in her place, but those screams could not be silenced.


    You did this, khorota.


    Tuya grasped a numbroot, wanting to fade to that place of oblivion where every pain and every joy numbed to nothingness, wanting to escape the Hollows, to run from her responsibility, to hide from her self-blame. All she needed was to pull the numbroot from the wall and chew on the root. A few bites of one so ripe and she would fade away, quiet Makhun¡¯s voice, quiet the screams and the cries of the women and girls they battered because of her. Just a few bites and she could stop thinking about and remembering her failures to make their pain smaller.


    Tuya cried, clinging to that root. Her escape would last a moment, the pain Makhun would inflict on somebody else if Tuya was missing at first light would last forever. She cried, knowing the right choice, but not wanting to hear those screams, to see those faces, to listen to Makhun whispering in her ear, pinching her cheek, and promising that it would happen again if she did not learn.


    She pulled a couple numbroot from the rocks and quickly rushed over to her spotted hide and wrapped them with skewers of morsels she saved for the others. Tuya bundled the hide and thought of all the ways the meat and numbroot would make pain smaller. The root caused an oblivion that took away everything for a time, useful for one enduring immense pain and needing rest. When she was found with these, some of the tamers snatched them from her and descended into a stupor. Tuya did not mind. A happy, semi-conscious tamer was one who rarely hurt the women.


    The stalks could be broken open for an ointment that soothed and healed bruises and lacerations, daily occurrences for a woman or tamer in the Hollows. For many seasons, tamers sent battered women to her, or she snuck herself to them. The tamers even came to her themselves for the blessings of the stem when the others were not looking, oft was there wounds, especially since the arrival of Tamer Jhorgal.


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    The leaves were her pride. While the root numbed and the stalk mended, the leaves prevented pain. Since Tuya gave the women of her region the leaves to chew, few stomachs swelled with tamer seed, first blood came later, and later bloods were smaller. She was careful to hide this truth from both the tamers and the women, telling them all that the leaves provided mere sustenance. Given their acrid taste, the tamers were happy to let Tuya fill the khorota bellies with something they refused to eat. Given their phenomenal magic, Tuya was happy to disperse them regularly to each claimed and each girl nearing first blood, herself included.


    Thinking about the leaves and what they did increased her urgency to reach the top of the dark place. Tuya looked at the fire and used her eyes to shine light on it. The heat went back to the air, leaving behind charred branches and logs that she could use the next time she came to the dark place on cold days. She used her small weird rock to drink the good water and put the big weird rock back by the fire stones. Tuya checked her firemakers and made sure she had enough of the moss and the little branches for at least a handful of fires. Satisfied, she grabbed the hide-wrapped bundle and dashed for the surface.


    Tuya pressed herself against the cavern wall and slid through the crevice. This tight space long since stopped scaring her and was now more of a comforting protector. She reached her strength toward the spiders who made this space of several body lengths their lair and warned them to move. They scattered, her eyes beaming light into the small space until she entered into the jumping place. Tuya carried her bundle with both hands and dashed up the slope, leaping over the chasm. If any tamer followed her into this darkness and managed to make it this far, she savored knowing they would fall in, hopeless of ever climbing out if they somehow survived the deep drop.


    She climbed the steep, twisting and turning, convoluted incline until she reached a little crevice. Tuya slid through a narrow passage, squeezing and contorting through this twisting pass for many body lengths until she emerged into the topmost part of the dark place. This final area was expansive, bigger even than her refuge below but teeming with very little life. Light from the little lightmakers and the big, beautiful, sky-colored lightmaker beamed in from the dark place¡¯s entrance, not reaching her crevice.


    Tuya wanted to rush out and find her hollow before the tamers sought her. That fear was real and bigger than the Spire in her mind. Alas, she could not lose the dark place, the numbroot within it, or the blessings of the good water and her fire. Be patient, she reminded herself, skulking toward the light.


    Tuya opened her mind and used her strength to scan for life. She found two pulses of consciousness that set her into panic. Soon, she did not need her strength to know they were there, nor did she need to reach for their thoughts and feelings to know what they sought. Her two least favorite tamers lurked just beyond the dark place¡¯s only escape.


    ¡°You think the good khorota hides in here?¡±


    The deep voice belonged to Tamer Jhorgal, a gigantic man with arms that seemed thicker than a woman¡¯s torso. He returned from the faraway lands some seasons ago, a triumphant warrior against the pretenders of the sunset lands. His first act upon returning was bludgeoning Khargoth to death with his bare hands and claiming Sarnai. Tuya did not think a rise and fall of the lightmaker had passed since where some tamer or khorota did not get hit by his monstrous fists. If only it were Jhorgal, Tuya might have been able to still her panic, to think her way through this, to hope for a happy ending to this day of change. The other tamer was, by far, the worst she ever met.


    Makhun¡¯s distinctive, high-pitched voice was discordant for a man so strong with the taming sense. His body was smaller than any other tamer in the area, a fact made more salient when juxtaposed with Jhorgal¡¯s massive frame. That did not make him less terrifying. ¡°Like all khorota, and like Tamer Jhorgal, she is a stupid creature. She hides here.¡±


    Tuya could not silence the screaming women that he beat, each blow followed with his high-pitched, You did this, khorota.


    The big lightmaker had not even crested over the evil water. She did everything right to get back up in time! She cursed Celegana and the pretender gods. She cursed the tamers and the Spire. She cursed Makhun and Jhorgal. She cursed herself for being so stupid to let Makhun find her dark place. She cursed the unfairness of this life she lived, but if one thing never changed it was the unfairness of life. She could refuse to accept this reality, but reality simply did not care whether little girls rejected it. Reality made its claim on her with power that transcended even Gurgaldai ezen Celegan, and she was bound and tethered to it no matter how much she wished life were different.


    Tuya knew these truths, but she rejected them. This could not be happening today. Hyperventilating, she set down the bundle of blessings and crouched in the darkness, hoping they would give up and go. She could not go out and face them. She could not!


    One thing that never changed was the bickering of the tamers. Makhun belittled Jhorgal¡¯s stupidity and Jhorgal belittled Makhun¡¯s size. They pecked at each other¡¯s insecurities, trying to gain the upper hand in asserting their purpose: the claiming of Tuya. The good khorota would blood soon and they both believed they would prevail and send the other into shameful flight of the region.


    Tuya tried to remember, remember to breathe and think of Zaya. She tried to plan. Yet, all she could think of was the beatings. Jhorgal would shove her against the rocks and would hit her everywhere but the face. Worse, Makhun would try to pry into her mind, he would make her watch as he hurt someone else. You did this, khorota.


    ¡°We should leave her in here,¡± Jhorgal said, voice hushed as though afraid of who might hear. ¡°Keep her between you and me, little tamer.¡±


    Makhun scoffed. ¡°How many times did those pretenders hit your big, ugly head? That is even stupider than I thought possible from even you, dumb Jhorgal. It takes one tamer who wants us gone to tell the Ezen that we hid away our favorite unblooded from him. Do you know what would happen then?¡±


    ¡°Think, Makhun,¡± Jhorgal spat, growing flustered. ¡°Do you want to share our prize with Gurgaldai?¡±


    ¡°My prize, Jhorgal, and no, that is why we do what I say. Gurgaldai will overlook her after we are done. If you keep her from him, he will know.¡±


    ¡°I have been in more lands than you. I have seen this world. There are none like her. None! Even after you try to conceal what she is, Gurgaldai will touch her mind and know the truth and he will take her for himself. He will know what we did to her and why. What then, stupid Makhun? What then?¡± Jhorgal paused for a moment before cutting off Makhun¡¯s response. ¡°No, Makhun. No. We do not present her at all. We hide her. I will scare the others into silence.¡±


    Makhun released a high-pitched squeal of delight. ¡°You? You will scare tamers? Beside Gurgaldai ezen Celegan, you are nothing. You think you could triumph over the one who has been chosen by the chimaera, the one who slew the last of the Gidiites and wields his giant abomination, the one who will claim the world!¡± Makhun laughed and laughed. ¡°You are far stupider than I imagined.¡± The tamer laughed.


    Tuya lurked in the dark place, terror gripping her. If Gurgaldai took her to the Spire, she would be surrounded by tamers with nowhere to hide, nowhere to run, no blessings to ease the pain, no numbroot leaf to slow her blooding and block tamer seed. She would become property of the most powerful tamer, a man whose taming strength made Makhun¡¯s look puny. Her eyes saw Gurgaldai ezen Celegan¡¯s taming strength flow from the height of the Spire and down into the Hollows more than once. His power could swallow entire regions and it was said his body would make even Jhorgal look like Makhun. She would never escape, never fly away, unless leaping to her death from atop the Spire. Whatever Makhun planned for her today could not possibly be worse than such a fate.


    Jhorgal and Makhun continued to belittle each other and argue over who would claim Tuya. Jhorgal¡¯s temper was stressed to its meager limits and the only thing keeping him from ripping Makhun apart was the little tamer¡¯s strength of mind. The beast of a man would take that out on Tuya or the other women if she could not calm him down. Makhun¡¯s irritation would be impossible to soothe, but he might make less pain if she gave in to his plan.


    Tuya realized today was a day of change and change was rarely a good thing in Celegana¡¯s Hollows. All she could do was her best to survive, to keep hope alive that one day she would fulfill her promises, and that today she would do whatever she could to make pain smaller. Fortifying herself with these truths did not make her any less scared of what Makhun and Jhorgal would do to her or to the women she loved. Neither did it lessen the threat of Gurgaldai ezen Celegan, but they gave her the bravery to face the changes.


    Tuya would not greet them empty-handed. She would sacrifice the numbroot to them, use that as her reason for being in the dark place. Even better, she reached down to a wilted flower that grew in the warm seasons within the dark place. The angertaker, as she called it, was dull, like her hopes of this being a good day, but when this flower glowed it brought inner peace. Tuya linked with the flower and begged, Please help me. Please show them your beauty and make their hearts soft today. Please shine a light in this darkness.


    Tuya infused the angertaker with her strength and it shone a luminescent sky color, much like the big lightmaker in the night sky. You are beautiful, Tuya told the angertaker. Plucking it from the ground, she remembered Zaya¡¯s lessons, remembered to breathe, remembered her promises. Gathering her courage, Tuya marched into her terror, knowing that pain would be large today, but that she would do whatever she could to make it smaller.


    The air outside of the dark place was a shock of cold that went through Tuya¡¯s hides and straight to her bones. The evil breeze cut into her like the lash of a tamer¡¯s switch. Snowflakes fell atop her head, wreathing dark hair with light powder. The angertaker glowed just like the big lightmaker of the night and the edges of the world were starting to change to the pleasant color of an unpleasant bruise as the big lightmaker woke from its sleep.


    Eyes on the ground, Tuya walked toward the two tamers and offered her blessings upon them. ¡°For you, mighty tamers.¡±


    Jhorgal snatched both of the numbroot. ¡°What is a khorota doing lurking beneath Celegana¡¯s land when the lightmaker sleeps?¡±


    Tuya¡¯s jowls trembled from more than cold. ¡°I woke with a full belly because of the blessings you provide me. I wanted to find something worthy of the great tamers who may claim me, of their seed that will take root in me and grow mighty.¡±


    ¡°Good khorota,¡± Jhorgal said. The pulses of anger that emanated from him moments before were replaced with desire. He caressed her face with his gigantic hand. ¡°Good to look at and good bringer of blessings. I will claim you when the time comes and plant a future Ezen within you.¡±


    ¡°Celegana bless us and make it so,¡± she said, hoping they could not sense what she harbored beneath her reverent fear. Tuya extended the angertaker to Makhun. ¡°For you, Tamer Makhun. I found this shining in the dark place, and thought of your strength.¡± Her hands trembled as the offering hung between them, untaken, for many rapid heartbeats.


    Makhun startled her when he seized the flower. Tuya shook, suppressing the urge to leak on herself. You did this, khorota. You did this.


    ¡°Do you think I am as stupid as Jhorgal is?¡± Makhun asked. He sniffed the angertaker and sighed. ¡°Smells like lies. Smells like a khorota who thinks herself wiser than she is.¡± Makhun dropped the flower to the ground and stamped it into the dirt.


    The little tamer seized her arm and she shielded herself from whatever blows may come. She would have preferred the fist to the mental attack he unleashed upon her. Makhun¡¯s consciousness penetrated hers, probing through her mind like grasping fingers reaching into the bush for berries to pluck.


    Seasons changed in the Hollows. Tuya changed, growing stronger and finding new ways to survive and make pain smaller. The tamers in charge changed, whether Gurgaldai atop the Spire or Jhorgal and Makhun in her little region of the vast, vast forest where the trees all had holes. Alas, no matter the season, no matter how she changed, no matter who was in charge, the cruelty of the tamers remained as it always had, and Tuya had yet to meet one as cruel as Tamer Makhun.

 Chapter Four: Strength

    Makhun pried Tuya¡¯s mind open like she was a tortoise. He ripped at her walls, tearing away her shell to reveal hidden thoughts and masked emotions. It felt like her head was being pierced by a sharpened stake as he plunged into different layers of her consciousness, delving into her most private places. He rummaged through her, touching her where nobody ever should and battering her mind. He undressed her defenses, peeled off layers of thoughts and feelings, leaving her mind naked to his.


    Tuya concealed her deepest secrets, hiding them away by leading Makhun down different pathways of thought. One of the first lessons of the Hollows that a young girl learned was to always give the tamers something they wanted. Whether being tamed, beaten, or merely interrogated, the tamer needed to be appeased, needed to feel like he was in control, and needed to take something from you. Within this appeasement, you could give away a lesser thing to hide the greater ones, as long as the lesser thing was sufficient. She sensed his intense desire for her, to claim the good khorota that all the bigger tamers wanted to pin to the ground and have for themselves, to possess the beautiful one with the magic eyes, to keep her all to himself so that not even Gurgaldai ezen Celegan could have her.


    Tuya imagined Makhun penetrating her on the day of her first blood, imagined him in command of her, imagined the tamers respecting him for possessing the good khorota, imagined his feelings of glory and exultation. She projected thoughts of him having unquestioned access to her body and the right to plant his seed within her.


    Tuya felt his lust grow and engorge his body as he lost himself in desire. Makhun seized control of her body and slid her hand into her hides while he forced her other hand to reach into his. Makhun felt larger than Jhorgal, greater than Gurgaldai, as he basked in this moment.


    Tuya tried to conceal, tried to pretend she wanted these things, tried to think happy thoughts that might hide the disgust. Instead, each stroke of genitalia propelled her hatred from under the rock where she tried to hide it. Makhun¡¯s body, his mind, everything about him, disgusted her.


    You did this.


    He assumed absolute authority over her body. With a vindictive euphoria, Makhun masked his plans from her, sealing her away from his mind while severing the connection between her mind and body. She saw through her eyes, felt her body move, but could not control any of the movements. She howled for freedom, like the multitudinous voices of the tamed she heard crying out for her when her walls were down. In this place of ultimate subjugation, the only thing Tuya could control was her own thoughts, and even those streamed from her unbidden and uncontained.


    Makhun seized each desperate thread, each apology she transmitted, each wave of powerlessness and terror, letting it validate his own power and push down his insecurities. He reveled in her fear, in making her pain larger, and whatever he planned fused his rage with jubilation.


    He saw the light-starved world with her eyes, transforming the dark before the dawn into a blazing midday in the season of the heat. Tuya resented him experiencing this blessing that was supposed to be hers alone.


    Stupid khorota. Your mind, your eyes, your body, your everything, they all belong to me.


    Every khorota knew to submit to the tamers to reduce their pain. Tuya knew never to fight, always to hide, never to run, always to please. Make no excuses for yourself, never blame the tamer, always show respect, find the pathway to appeasement, even though it never ended the pain, never made one feel strong. Her survival instincts were sharpened by seasons of the same. These instincts allowed her to force thoughts of gratitude through the link. Do not let Gurgaldai take me away. Please, mighty Makhun.


    His amusement wrapped around her deference. He will not have you. I will be your first. I will be your last. For all your seasons.


    Tuya grasped the one thing she could to survive, relief that he would do whatever he could to keep her from the Great Ezen. She surrendered to him, knowing that there was nothing else she could do to make today¡¯s pain smaller.


    Her body strode through the Hollows as the first rays of the big lightmaker woke the woods. Many eyes flickered to her and to Jhorgal at her heels.


    ¡°First blood!¡± one of the tamers howled, striding toward her.


    ¡°Not yet, weak Nergun,¡± Jhorgal answered, shoving Tamer Nergun to his back.


    Makhun halted her body and scanned the area. Somebody has to pay for your evil thoughts, khorota. Pick one.


    Jhorgal.


    Tuya¡¯s body laughed, drawing many from their hollows with the forbidden sound. She glimpsed Sarnai, and Makhun seized her stray thought, wishing Sarnai stayed hidden within Jhorgal¡¯s hollow.


    Jhorgal¡¯s claimed? Is she your favorite khorota?


    Tuya tried to conjure contempt toward the woman she loved most in the Hollows. She belongs to dumb Jhorgal. I hate them. Abhorrence of Jhorgal flowed through the link, poisoning Sarnai by association as she thought of them together.


    Tuya¡¯s body licked her lips as Makhun prepared to feast on her secrets. He slammed his consciousness against her, ripping through her lies to reach for the truth hidden behind her veneer. Tuya threw up lie after lie, doing whatever she could to make Sarnai¡¯s pain smaller, twisting her thoughts about the beloved woman who endured the past many seasons with her, sharing secret conversations in the dark, exchanging blessings, hugs, and even eye contact and smiles.


    Makhun did not catch them all, but he gathered enough to connect the threads. A girl crying in the rain in need of love as her first blood slicked her thighs and Khargoth¡¯s hands marked her body as well as his seed taking root within her. The tamer clung to that memory and the powerful feelings it conjured within Tuya. He traced it forward, linking moments together. Tuya and Sarnai sitting shoulder-to-shoulder talking about flying away from the Hollows the day they stole Sarnai¡¯s babe from her breast. Sarnai comforting Tuya after the first time Makhun hurt another in her name, telling her that they needed her to be the one who made their pain smaller more than ever. Memory after memory betrayed Tuya¡¯s love.


    She knew it would not help, that her pleas would fall deaf upon Makhun, much like her prayers to Celegana. Alas, sometimes pain is too large to do what is wise and all you can do is beg for it to stop. Please, Makhun. Please! Not Sarnai! Hurt me instead! Hurt me! Hurt me! Hurt me!


    You did this.


    Tuya¡¯s body hefted a log and strode toward Sarnai. Sarnai glanced at Tuya¡¯s eyes, the glimmer of a smile shining on Sarnai¡¯s snowy face before she stepped back into the hollow. That moment of care, of another khorota being happy to see Tuya, of loving her, touched every broken thing inside of Makhun, inspiring his indignation, his jealousy, his hate. Makhun¡¯s desire to hurt Sarnai burst into their mental link like a sudden storm.


    A storm Tuya could not quell. Hurt me instead!


    You did this!


    Makhun compelled Tuya¡¯s body to smash the log into the side of Sarnai¡¯s belly. Sarnai cried out in pain, her knee crashed into the hard dirt within Jhorgal¡¯s hollow.


    No! Makhun! I will do anything! Please!


    ¡°What are you doing, Makhun!¡± Jhorgal roared. ¡°That is my claimed!¡±


    The monstrous tamer wrapped his hand around Tuya¡¯s throat and closed his other into the fist that tormented the region. How she hoped now that this day need not be among the worst in her life. Hope only required the most aggressive tamer in the region to punch her so hard that she could not hurt Sarnai, that the fighting would keep Jhorgal and Makhun busy with each other so Tuya could run away with Sarnai and flee to another region, one further from Gurgaldai ezen Celegan and closer to the faraway lands.


    Stupid khorota. I will never let you go. You did this.


    ¡°Think, Jhorgal,¡± Tuya¡¯s body said, squeaking through Jhorgal¡¯s stranglehold. ¡°Your claimed has not yielded a tamer since Khargoth died. Either she is worthless or Jhorgal¡¯s manhood is.¡±


    Hope was a rare thing in the Hollows, almost as rare as a tamer that could accept fault or bear to show any sign of weakness. Jhorgal released Tuya; his mighty fist fell open at his side. ¡°It is as you say, Makhun. Jhorgal bred many tamers from his Gidiite bleeders in the sunset lands.¡± He brushed Tuya¡¯s face, sickening her and Makhun alike. ¡°Jhorgal¡¯s manhood will make many great tamers with this one and the closest little Makhun will ever get is to tame her while she feels Jhorgal¡¯s great breeder swelling her belly.¡±


    Makhun shoved Jhorgal with Tuya¡¯s arms. ¡°She will be mine!¡± He could have been trying to push the Spire for all Jhorgal budged.


    The large tamer laughed, then shoved Tuya, flinging her to the ground with as little effort as one stepping on a bug.


    ¡°Go ahead, little Makhun,¡± Jhorgal taunted. ¡°Jhorgal will thrash you whether you are a pretty little khorota or puny little tamer. Celegana¡¯s blessings! I bet the girl would put up a better fight than you.¡± His guttural belly laughs lowered Makhun¡¯s walls. For a few heartbeats, Tuya saw flashes of his memories of being battered by bigger tamers in the Spire, shouting down at him that he was weak and little, worthless and pathetic, never would he claim a khorota or pass on his bad seed.


    It is Jhorgal that has bad seed! Tuya projected. Sarnai gave Khargoth tamers. Claim her, Makhun, and you will have both of us!


    Makhun closed his consciousness off from Tuya¡¯s, neither emotion nor thought passing from him to her. For several rapid heartbeats, she waited, hoped, and transmitted thoughts of Makhun keeping both Tuya and Sarnai in his hollow. The two most coveted khorota in the region. Sarnai preparing his hides. Tuya gathering food and the other blessings only she could find in the dark places of the Hollows. All he needed to do was stand up to a man he hated that would always be in his path anyway. He would be the power in this region, uncontested.


    This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    You did this, khorota.


    Sarnai rushed forward before Makhun could swing the log. Instead of striking her, Sarnai threw her arms around Tuya, hugging her openly with the love they concealed through the seasons.


    ¡°I know this is not you, Tuya,¡± Sarnai said, struggling to keep Makhun from breaking Tuya¡¯s arms free of the embrace. ¡°Know that you have made my pain so much smaller. Know that I love you.¡±


    Makhun released Tuya¡¯s grip on the log. Strengthened by her growth, Tuya¡¯s body tore free of Sarnai. Makhun pushed Sarnai against the back of the hollow and bit into her neck. Tuya¡¯s mouth filled with Sarnai¡¯s blood, her ears with Sarnai¡¯s screams, her heart with Sarnai¡¯s pain, her head with Makhun¡¯s evil thrill. Her body bit, punched, and tore into Sarnai, leaving her in a heap at the back of the large hollow, her blood splattered upon the many hides she worked on. You did this, Makhun interjected between every cry of agony.


    Sarnai leaned toward Paintaker, the original flower from the day in the rain all those seasons ago gave off an aroma that could mute Sarnai¡¯s pain. Within her own mind, Tuya cried, wishing this day was not so like that one where she lost the most important person in her world. In her heart she swore to never love again, lest she go through this soul-shattering pain. In her mind, Makhun¡¯s triumph over her pulsed like a throbbing headache that refused to end no matter how much misery it brought.


    ¡°You are a weak tamer,¡± Sarnai said, ¡°forcing Tuya to fight for you.¡±


    ¡°What is strength,¡± Tuya¡¯s voice said through Makhun, ¡°but making others fight for you? Do you think Gurgaldai ezen Celegan fights every battle himself on his path to taming the world? You who have been beaten, bred, and broken. You who have only known submission. What can you tell me of strength?¡±


    ¡°You confuse cruelty for strength, Tamer Makhun. The strong do not use their power to hurt others to make themselves feel strong. The strong endure any pain and keep going, they keep doing their best to make the pain in this world smaller. That is strength.¡± Sarnai met Tuya¡¯s eyes. ¡°I have been blessed to witness more strength than you could imagine, tamer.¡±


    Sarnai did not pull her gaze away. She did not blink as she stared into Tuya¡¯s eyes, blood trailing from where Tuya¡¯s nails clawed her cheeks, where her bites tore into her neck, where her fist slammed into her nose. Tuya thought she had never seen greater strength even as she wished Sarnai did whatever it took to appease the tamer.


    ¡°Stupid khorota,¡± Tuya¡¯s voice said. ¡°Witness my strength.¡±


    Tuya braced to fight him, to use her strength to expel him from her mind. She would not let Makhun harm Sarnai with her body. Just as she prepared to push against his mind, to surprise him with her sudden surge of strength, he broke the link and vacated her body.


    Shedding evil water from her eyes, she rushed to Sarnai¡¯s side and threw her arms around her. ¡°Sarnai!¡±


    ¡°Tuya?¡±


    ¡°It is me, Sarnai!¡±


    Sarnai groaned, stroked Tuya¡¯s hair, and looked into her eyes. She showed that same smile she did so many seasons ago. It was such a precious thing that Tuya wanted it to never go away. ¡°Then we have a few more moments. Listen, Tuya, whatever happens, remember that I love you, remember that you are strong, remember that¡ª


    Tuya shushed her. Her heart raced with the urgency and immensity of this moment. Unlike with Zaya, Tuya understood Sarnai was trying to say her last words to her. Unlike with Zaya, Tuya would not let the tamers take Sarnai from her. These last several seasons she made herself strong so she would not be that girl in the rain watching her most important person get dragged away again. She knew Makhun was coming, she knew that if they did nothing, Sarnai would return to the land. Now was the time to fly away from this region, to run toward the faraway lands before she ended up in the Spire. Now was the time to leave behind the only home she ever knew, leave behind the place she made her promises to Zaya, the place where she loved Sarnai and the others. Now was the time to escape the monster determined to make her life misery, before he could hurt Sarnai again.


    Her urgency, her excitement, her fear rushed out of her. ¡°Come on, Sarnai! We need to go now, before Makhun arrives! Gurgaldai is coming! We must go! Now!¡±


    Sarnai winced as Tuya pulled her off the ground. She gripped her side, bit down, and shook her head. Tuya could not stop the flow of evil water from her eyes. ¡°Now, Sarnai! It has to be now!¡±


    Sarnai shook her head, shaking off the evil water flowing down her face. ¡°I will never make it. I will only get you caught.¡± She sobbed and Jhorgal groaned from just outside the hollow and mimicked the cries of the woman he spent seasons beating and breeding, but never breaking.


    Tuya knew Sarnai was right. She could not accept it. This could not happen again! ¡°No.¡± She squeezed Sarnai¡¯s hand, holding to her with all her might. ¡°We can make it.¡±


    Sarnai stroked Tuya¡¯s face. ¡°You will someday. You will endure this, Tuya. You will keep going. You will make pain smaller. You are strong.¡±


    ¡°You are strong, Sarnai.¡±


    Sarnai nodded. ¡°I am.¡± Sarnai clenched her jaw and sobbed through gritted teeth. ¡°I am because a girl thought to make my pain smaller and she did the best she could.¡±


    Tuya held Sarnai¡¯s hands, determined to be with her until then end, clinging to the faint hope that she could still find a way to protect her. She did not want to live in a world without Sarnai. She refused to accept this was the end. She rooted herself beside Sarnai, planting herself beside her as she did Paintaker.


    She looked over her shoulder to see Jhorgal blocking the opening to the hollow, chuckling at them like they were inconsequential and meaningless. Stupid Jhorgal! Tuya wished he and all the other tamers could leap off the top of the Spire and rid the world of their cruelty. She would not move for that man or the little monster Makhun. If they wanted to take Sarnai, they would have to pry Tuya away.


    Makhun appeared in the hollow¡¯s opening. It pained her to be at the mercy of this tamer. She was confident she could kill him in a battle of blows. Below the neck, he looked like a child. His body was soft from seasons of gorging on the work of his claims and meat seized by his taming. He never ran, never fought the other tamers, and his blows were the weakest Tuya ever felt from a tamer.


    He disgusted Tuya. His sneer disgusted her. His cruelty disgusted her. Everything about this monster filled her gut with this morning¡¯s meal and made it want to come back out her mouth. ¡°Strength,¡± Makhun said, ¡°is leaving you on your own and coming to find you exactly where I left you. Strength is compelling you to do what I want without even taming you. Strength is the might that breaks those who dare to oppose you.¡±


    Jhorgal grunted his approval. ¡°The plan?¡±


    Makhun nodded. He hefted the log from the edge of the hollow and tossed it at Tuya¡¯s feet. ¡°Strike her, khorota.¡±


    Tuya rooted herself beside Sarnai, Makhun¡¯s words not penetrating her awareness. Sarnai clung to her, shaking, stifling her sobs. Sarnai¡¯s hides went wet and her bad water dripped down her leg and puddled at her feet.


    ¡°The plan,¡± Makhun said.


    Jhorgal cleared his throat and howled out into the region. ¡°Tamers, bring the khorota to me! Stupid khorota, watch as your little helper shows you how much she really cares about you!¡±


    The women were herded to the edge of Jhorgal¡¯s hollow. Whether they were born here or from the faraway lands, blooded or unblooded, they came as summoned, ringed by the tamers to witness Makhun¡¯s cruelty.


    ¡°Strike her,¡± Makhun said, ¡°or refuse. I dare you, khorota.¡±


    Tuya stood beside Sarnai, holding her hand, unwilling to do Makhun¡¯s cruelty for him and horrified at what he would do when she disobeyed.


    Sighing, but smirking, Makhun seized the smallest girl from the herd of khorota. Khula. The little girl was not even a babe when Zaya was taken away. Tuya remembered Tamer Nergun slamming Khula¡¯s mother¡¯s head into a hollow until her cries stopped and her soul returned to the ground for the mistake of birthing a khorota instead of a tamer. Tuya often tapped Khula on the shoulder and led her to weird rocks full of berries. Many times, when Tuya was sure the tamers were not near, she hugged the little girl and told her she cared about her, that she did not deserve the screams the tamers hurled at her, that she was good.


    Makhun slammed Khula¡¯s face into the bark of Jhorgal¡¯s hollow. ¡°You did this!¡± He yanked Khula¡¯s hair until her face arced up toward the rising lightmaker. Blood gushed from Khula¡¯s little nose and her whines made Tuya shake with rage. ¡°Strike her.¡±


    Tuya picked up the log, wanting to rush toward Makhun and break his head, wanting to hurt every tamer that dared to make little girls bleed.


    ¡°You have to do it,¡± Sarnai said, weeping. ¡°It is the only way, Tuya.¡±


    Tuya clenched the log, holding back her tears. Little Khula. She could not allow Khula¡¯s pain to be larger. She could not make Sarnai¡¯s pain smaller. The thoughts followed that hitting Sarnai was the only way to make pain smaller, at least for the others.


    Tuya swung, starting hard but breaking the blow just before it connected with Sarnai¡¯s gut. Sarnai exaggerated the hit, buckling over, falling to her side, and curling her knees toward her chest.


    ¡°Even you are stronger than that, khorota,¡± Makhun said. ¡°Strike her as hard as you can. Like this.¡± Makhun pulled on Khula¡¯s hair, tossing her to the ground. ¡°You did this!¡± He stomped on Khula¡¯s gut. The little girl squealed as Makhun pressed into her belly with his foot.


    Tuya stepped toward Khula, clutching the log and imagining it smashing Makhun into the ground. Jhorgal stood between her and the little tamer. ¡°As hard as you can,¡± said the colossal tamer.


    Her promise to Zaya felt hollow and broken as the log struck Sarnai¡¯s waist. Sarnai writhed on the ground, groaning from the pain. Makhun barked for her to keep going, all while holding his foot atop Khula. Sarnai cried out with each hit, her body breaking, Tuya¡¯s spirit shattering more and more with each shot of pain she delivered to the woman she promised to love. She kept the log below the neck, delivering strikes to Sarnai¡¯s arms, legs, and waist. Bones broke and still he demanded more. Sarnai crawled near Paintaker, but Tuya knew her pain was beyond the capacities of the old flower.


    ¡°Enough,¡± Tuya cried, falling to her knees. She dropped the log, her hand and arm throbbing from the reverberations of each blow she delivered. She put her head in her hands and cried, unable to stop the flow of evil water. She felt broken, unable to go on. She felt stupid for believing she could be strong, could make pain smaller, could free herself or anyone else. She could not. She was nothing but a worthless khorota.


    Makhun entered the hollow and knelt by her, as if daring her to try and strike him with the log. He gripped Tuya¡¯s hair and yanked her head until her ear was at his mouth. ¡°Who did this?¡±


    ¡°I did!¡±


    ¡°Who is strong?¡±


    ¡°You are!¡±


    ¡°Who is weak?¡±


    ¡°I am!¡±


    ¡°You are nothing,¡± Makhun whispered, ¡°nothing but a body to be beaten, bred, and broken by me.¡± He released her hair and stood over Sarnai. ¡°This khorota has refused to grow Tamer Jhorgal¡¯s seed into a tamer. For that, she deserves two handfuls of strikes to her head. No holding back the blows. If Celegana grants her the strength to withstand her punishment, she may live.¡±


    Sarnai clung to her consciousness, barely aware of her surroundings, groaning as she gripped at her broken body. Two handfuls of full-strength blows to the head would return her to the ground. Sarnai would not survive the first handful.


    Tuya witnessed strength. Sarnai closed her eyes and a tiny, wispy vapor emanated from her, just perceptible to Tuya¡¯s eyes. He lies, Sarnai projected. He wants to make me suffer to make you suffer.


    Even more than her thoughts, Tuya felt Sarnai project that wonderful feeling. Tuya projected it back, but she was unable to integrate Sarnai¡¯s. The dying woman¡¯s love felt undeserved when it was Tuya that got her in this position, that delivered the worst of the blows, that would soon be the one to return her to the ground. Instead of making her strong, Sarnai¡¯s love left her feeling hollow.


    You cannot survive two handfuls of hits to the head.


    But Khula can. You can. Sarnai¡¯s sorrow filled Tuya¡¯s mind. Think of me when you fly away, Tuya. Bring me with you.


    I was stupid, Sarnai. I cannot fly away. I will never make it to the faraway lands.


    You will, Tuya.


    I won¡¯t.


    Sarnai opened her eyes. ¡°You will. You are strong.¡±


    ¡°Strike her!¡± Makhun screamed.


    Sarnai was strong for Tuya, sharing her acceptance of her fate through their link, assuring Tuya she did not blame her, transmitting the love she held for the girl that found her in the rain on what was the worst and best day of her life. Still, Tuya could not feel deserving of Sarnai¡¯s love, of her forgiveness, nor could she accept her fate. When Sarnai died, her head cracking like a weird rock thrown at a tree, her blood pooling in the hollow where she lived and died, Tamer Makhun commanded her to deliver the entire two handfuls. Thus, Tuya went on, hating herself, until she counted off each finger on both hands, reducing Sarnai¡¯s skull to pulp.


    When she was done, Tuya collapsed atop Sarnai and wept. She could do nothing else.


    ¡°Get up!¡±


    She could not obey Makhun. Something in Tuya broke and she could not move from where she was. The cruelty of the tamers never changed. In her hesitation, he justified his actions. Tuya heard Jhorgal grunt with exertion and a loud snapping sound. The khorota assembled outside the hollow gasped, then quickly submitted to silence. Jhorgal threw the body of Khula beside Sarnai, the little girl¡¯s head twisted and broken from her body.


    Makhun knelt beside Tuya. ¡°You did this, khorota.¡±

 Chapter Five: Gurgaldai

    It was said that Gurgaldai ezen Celegan was the largest man to ever walk upon Celegana¡¯s lands, that he was strong enough to split men in half like their bones were twigs and their flesh brittle bark, that his taming power could destroy your mind with a single thought, that his mighty reach extended across the evil water to all the faraway lands and that there was nowhere to hide if he sought you. It was said that his destiny was to tame every heathen until the whole world was Celegan.


    Many things were said about Gurgaldai ezen Celegan. Seeing him with her own eyes, Tuya found it hard to disbelieve. The Great Ezen was sculpted like the old stones and the weird rocks left behind by Zaya¡¯s people. Gurgaldai was so immense that he made Jhorgal look like Makhun. Despite his terrifying power, there was an unparalleled beauty to his grandeur. Indeed, were this a world where the women were sovereign of the Hollows, it might be a man like Gurgaldai that they called the ¡°good tamer.¡± He was as beautiful as anything Tuya ever laid her eyes on.


    The Great Ezen strode among them and all was silent. No khorota moved from their position in the line the tamers arranged them in. Even the tamers kept their heads down as if they were mere khorota before the mightiest man alive. Gurgaldai set his eyes upon the old stones, desecrations that remained in the region throughout Tuya¡¯s days here, despite many tamers trying to break them apart in Celegana¡¯s name. Gurgaldai ezen Celegan hefted the abominable metal he claimed from the last of Zaya¡¯s people and shattered the old stones in a single blow. Big stones were flung afar and others crumbled into dust. The other tamers set their eyes even deeper toward the dirt as they knelt down before their master¡¯s might.


    Gurgaldai berated them for allowing this desecration of evil stone to shame Celegana, especially this close to the Spire. Alas, all Tuya could hear was the sound of Sarnai crying that day in the rain when Khargoth bred her and left her in a puddle of her own blood beside the old stones. All she could see was Sarnai¡¯s battered and broken corpse and her blood on Tuya¡¯s hands. All she could feel was the emptiness of a woman who could not go on without the person who loved her most.


    The crushing sadness washed away the memories of love, of making pain smaller, and turned them into dust just as easily as the Great Ezen destroyed the old stones. The pit in her chest, the hollow of hopelessness, dimmed her perception to the point where Tuya did not feel like she was in control of her body, even though no tamer possessed her now. Even her mind faded, as though she chewed the root of the numbroot after all and this was all a horrible nightmare. No, that was not it. Tuya twisted her neck and remembered the realness of everything. Khula and Sarnai lied beside her, their heads shattered or snapped from their necks, never to open their eyes again. They returned to the ground, to Celegana. If only Tuya had joined them.


    Instead, she lay there with them, her face bruised for the first time in many seasons, her eyes swollen and hard to keep open. Makhun¡¯s last words to her after he and Jhorgal struck her face ripened in her mind. Pretend you are dead like them or I will have you return another khorota to the ground.


    Thus, Tuya pretended at death, thinking that the real thing might be preferable. Perhaps if Makhun¡¯s plan worked, she would leap from the cliffs down onto the rocks and let her body be taken away by the evil water. She would never let him have her. Of that, she was certain.


    Beyond, out where the tamers and khorota gathered, Gurgaldai inspected the offerings the tamers made to him. Tuya braved another glance at him, again feeling awe at his presence. He was at the end of the line, nearest to her. The Ezen was not as old as she would have thought, given the legends of his deeds. Celegana made him well and Tuya felt a twist in her gut, an urging she had never known before. Disgusted by it, she twisted her head and looked away from the beautiful man. Tuya lowered her walls to remind herself of why she must hate this beautiful, beautiful tamer. At once, her mind filled with the desperate cries of the tamed creatures near and far. All of this suffering was due to this monster. Hatred filled the hollow pit in Tuya¡¯s center, giving her the smallest reason to live. If only she still believed she could help any of the many who suffered because of the tamers and their beautiful master.


    Then, walls down, she felt him. Gurgaldai pressed against the edges of her mind, enveloping her in his consciousness. The Ezen did not plunge into her, as Makhun had earlier. His thought came to her, its volume within her mind louder than the tamed combined, louder even than when Makhun was within her. His mental shout was tinted with curiosity and wonder. Who hides this one from me?


    Fear, that primordial survival instinct, awakened the girl who pretended to be and felt dead within. Her mind ran with ideas. To tell the Ezen the truth and hope he punished Makhun and Jhorgal, to deny the Ezen and hope he did not punish her, to continue to pretend at death and hope he ignored her. In the Hollows, it always came down to appeasement and hiding. Tuya could not hide and answer Gurgaldai¡¯s thought. She threw up her walls, blocking out the sounds of the tamed, the pervasive fear felt by khorota and tamer alike while the Ezen inspected them, and, most importantly, made herself small to Gurgaldai. His presence lingered, and despite her walls, she felt him there, pulsing with curiosity and wonder. His thought reached her, muffled as if spoken through a mighty wind. Do not hide from me, strong one.


    Tuya did not let the benevolent feeling attached to his thought lull her defenses. She stayed small, pretending at death, all while her fear mounted, knowing that the most powerful man in all the Hollows, in all the world, found her and knew her strength. Her life was over. She needed to find a way to die before he carried her away to Celegana¡¯s Spire.


    Her fear, her defenses did not let up when his presence vanished. She kept her eyes shut and tried to make her breathing small. Tuya breathed, trying to do as Zaya taught her so that the Ezen would find a third dead body if he sought her. When he sought her. Tuya knew hope was a dangerous thing in the Hollows and rarely did the good things happen, especially on days like this. He would come. He would find her. He would take her away. Her life was over. Strange, how just a few moments ago, she wanted to die and now she yearned for a life that could never be.


    ¡°Great Ezen,¡± Jhorgal said, panic touching his tone in a way previously unknown from him, ¡°where are you going?¡±


    ¡°You dared hide one from me. You thought to lie to Gurgaldai?¡± The Ezen did not shout or yell, but spoke with a calmness and control that made him more terrifying.


    Jhorgal sputtered, ¡°I do not know what you speak of, Great Ezen.¡±


    ¡°Which tamer resides within that hollow?¡± Gurgaldai asked.


    ¡°That is the hollow of Tamer Jhorgal,¡± Makhun answered, Tuya sensing his satisfaction went beyond serving his master and well into dooming his strongest competitor.


    Jhorgal¡¯s pleas were almost incoherent, as if he spoke through a mighty wind, as if he were naught but a khorota searching for the words that would appease her master, as he explained that one khorota killed his claimed and another little unblooded before he returned her to the ground. Jhorgal cried just like a khorota would have, whimpering, as he was dragged toward his hollow. His begging, his whines, felt so pathetic after seasons of drawing them from nearly every woman in the region. The moment he faced one stronger than him, he showed what he truly was: another slave to those with more might than him, a scared, little boy trapped in a big man¡¯s body.


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    ¡°What is this one¡¯s name?¡± the Ezen asked.


    ¡°Tuya!¡±


    The ground vibrated from Jhorgal¡¯s body meeting it, his cries assaulted her ears offset by the smooth calmness of Gurgaldai ezen Celegan¡¯s voice. ¡°Stay there. Pretend you are dead.¡±


    Face in the ground, eyes shut, Tuya pretended at death too, knowing that her life was about to change and change was rarely a good thing in the Hollows.


    Gurgaldai knelt beside her and placed his strong hand on her back. His touch was gentle, the same way Tuya¡¯s had been with little Khula. ¡°No more hiding, Tuya. None can hide from me, nor do you have to fear me as you do. I am not like the ones who did this to you.¡±


    Tuya startled at his use of her name. Tamers did not use a khorota¡¯s name unless referring to her as a thing. This was not something they said to her as a person, nor with such a soft touch. Not only did her flinching spoil her hiding, but it made her curious about this tamer that saw her as a human worthy of a name.


    Tuya crawled to the edge of the hollow and leaned against the blessed wood. She kept her eyes on the ground, neither looking at the two dead women, the fallen tamer, or this paradox of a man before her.


    The Great Ezen¡¯s hand was the roughest she ever felt but his touch upon her face was soft. ¡°I am sorry they did this to you, Tuya.¡±


    Her pain felt smaller at his touch, and that same urge from before returned at this little piece of love Gurgaldai offered her. He lifted her chin until her eyes met his. Sky-colored and bright, just like the big lightmaker of the night, they gave off a gentleness when gazing upon her. There was no denying to herself that she never saw a man that was so beautiful to her. In this moment, it did not feel so bad to have his hand on her face and his eyes on her. She smiled and his lips rose to match hers.


    ¡°He tried to hide your beauty from me by hitting you, but I still see it.¡± Gurgaldai lowered his hand and to her amazement, Tuya missed his touch, missed his eyes on hers as he turned to the supine body of Jhorgal.


    The menace of this region seemed so small on the ground before this mighty, beautiful man. Tuya hoped he suffered, she hoped Jhorgal cried like Sarnai had the many times he hit her, hoped his life would be extinguished and the pain he inflicted on others with it.


    ¡°Tell the truth now, Tamer Jhorgal,¡± Gurgaldai said. ¡°You hoped to hide Tuya from me so that you could keep her for yourself.¡±


    ¡°No!¡± Evil water cascaded down Jhorgal¡¯s ugly face. ¡°She killed my claimed. I struck her down and thought her dead!¡±


    ¡°I hate it when they lie,¡± Gurg said. He turned his head, those beautiful eyes on hers once more. Her chest rumbled and grew nauseous but with something much different than disgust. ¡°I would never lie to you, Tuya. I hope you will be as honest with me.¡±


    Tuya would make no such promise, lest he see through it and this kindness be killed. The Great Ezen stepped on Jhorgal¡¯s gut, and the tamer squealed much like Khula had. Tuya closed her fist, wishing it could be her foot on Jhorgal¡¯s belly. ¡°This is your last chance to tell the truth, Tamer Jhorgal. You thought to hide Tuya from me. You hoped to claim her yourself. Confess!¡±


    Jhorgal sputtered with denials. A vast mass of vapor emanated from Gurgaldai and bounded at Jhorgal¡¯s skull. The tamer¡¯s cries ceased and his trembling body went still. Gurgaldai spoke as he scoured the truth from within Jhorgal¡¯s mind. ¡°Jhorgal wanted the pretty khorota with the shiny eyes who sneaks food and herbs to the other khorota. You planned to break her and breed her. You thought you could hide her from me. You and another.¡±


    Jhorgal wrapped his hands around his own throat and squeezed. Tuya lowered her walls, curious. Within her mind, she could hear him screaming for freedom and feel his terror knowing that he was powerless. Tuya felt no impulse to free him, nor did she think she could if she wanted to. Gurgaldai¡¯s taming strength made Makhun¡¯s seem paltry and pathetic. Fear flowed from the little tamer and he made himself small. Besides Makhun, the other tamers and women watching mirrored Tuya¡¯s own hidden jubilation. None would be sad to see the end of Jhorgal.


    Jhorgal¡¯s face changed, growing paler. His gurgles grew weaker as his own hands choked the life out of him. Gurgaldai released him and retrieved his massive abomination while Jhorgal fought to breathe again. The long, stick-like handle of Gurgaldai¡¯s abomination was as tall as Jhorgal and the head of the monstrosity was rounded on one side, like a fist, and sharp on the other. It glimmered in the midday light as it descended on a screaming Jhorgal.


    The first blow crushed Jhorgal¡¯s leg, shattering bone with a sickening crunch. The once-horrifying tamer was reduced to a crying babe, pleading for his life. Tuya never heard any woman cry for her life like he did. She studied the other tamers, their eyes down, pulsing both glee that Jhorgal would die and fear at how this man who dominated them was broken. When faced with death, when given pain, this monster was nothing compared to Sarnai. It sickened Tuya that this creature had compelled one so much stronger than himself for the last seasons of her life.


    His cries only worsened as Gurgaldai continued to strike, shattering the other leg, both arms, his groin, and finally, pulverizing his skull, ending the wretched life of Tamer Jhorgal. The Ezen did not project any joy in the destruction, only an essence of determination and a tightly-contained rage. Beneath both, Tuya¡¯s strength detected a sadness within him.


    Feeling compelled to make his pain smaller, Tuya reached toward Gurgaldai with her strength. His mind flinched at her touch, but let her in, sharing his consciousness with her. Tuya felt the burden of his responsibility, of needing to make the entire world fear him, of always needing to be the strongest, of never letting anyone see him as weak or vulnerable, and of the inevitability that for all his efforts, they would still betray him.


    Gurgaldai recoiled, setting down his colossal abomination, a weapon he claimed from the last Gidiite pretender, a big man the sunset heathens called Aldar. The abomination shared the name of its last wielder. He turned toward Tuya, his eyes on hers. Smile, she thought to him, brushing his awareness with a gentle caress, trying to soothe the sadness he harbored within.


    If only it were so easy, Tuya. I carry the world on my shoulders. Will you share this burden with me?


    Me? Tuya pulsed with uncertainty and confusion.


    As my Chosen.


    Chosen?


    Yes. The one who will help me save this world and make it whole.


    Whole?


    To make the world as Celegana created it. He smiled at her and reached out his hand. Tuya took it and he pulled her to her feet. He towered over her, like the Spire over the Hollows. ¡°Would you share this burden with me?¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t know,¡± she said, too afraid to tell a lie. Why me?


    Because, I have been seeking for one like you.


    ¡°Like me?¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Gurgaldai said. ¡°One worthy of me and my burden.¡±


    I am worthy?


    You are unlike any other.


    Tuya¡¯s survival senses went up and she broke her link with Gurgaldai¡¯s mind. She erected the walls around her consciousness, quieting all the voices and keeping her away from everyone¡¯s thoughts and feelings. Lowering her eyes to the ground, she said, ¡°I am exactly like every other.¡±


    Gurgaldai held her face in his mighty hand as the entire region watched them from their peripheral vision. He was beautiful, yet so were many plants that hid poisons. Tuya tried to make herself small, even as she knew that there was no hiding from Gurgaldai. ¡°Amazing,¡± he said, the awe plain on his anything-but-plain face. ¡°How do you do that, Tuya? One moment, you are stronger than even Tugal was and the next you are so small I can barely tell you are there?¡±


    Tuya trembled as his smiling face surveyed hers. She tried to avert her eyes, to glance to Sarnai for courage like hers. ¡°I am weak, Tamer Gurgaldai. She was strong and they made me kill her.¡±


    Gurgaldai¡¯s eyes drooped as if he had not slept in days, his mouth curved down, and his beautiful face crumpled into dejection. He brushed Tuya¡¯s face and she could sense the sorrow in his touch even with her walls around her mind. ¡°I am sorry that I must do this, but I cannot let you lie to me, even if you are lying to yourself. Brace yourself, Tuya, and hope that you are not as weak as you say you are.¡±


    Tuya shook her head, she thought of running, of hiding, but nobody could hide from Gurgaldai ezen Celegan. Streams of tamer essence flowed from him and flooded into her, like waves crashing into the rocks and washing them away into the vast, evil water. Nothing could have braced her for his power.

 Chapter Six: Chosen

    All her life, tamers forced their consciousness within her. Before, they were like the flowing waters, some small enough that she could stand on the shore and let them pass under her like little puddles and others, like Makhun, that pushed themselves where they would. Still, Tuya retained the ability to direct their flow away from her most hidden secrets or to swim beside them, keeping her own consciousness afloat and distinct. With Gurgaldai, Tuya was plunged beneath the evil water and there was neither land nor surface in sight. In the depths of her own consciousness, in these dark recesses submersed far below the flow, she found Gurgaldai, and did not know where her mind ended and his began.


    The immersion with the mind of another was beautiful, not unlike the evil water itself when the lightmaker woke from sleep, and yet it was every bit as dangerous as being lost in that vast, murderous water. She could not escape from him nor did she even know which way to go. It was all Tuya could do not to drown in his consciousness.


    Gurgaldai flooded through her memories, starting from the nearest past and delving deeper. He saw her obeying Makhun and pretending to be dead. He will never hurt you again, Gurgaldai promised. Tuya fought to retain her own mind, too inundated to grasp the meaning of Gurgaldai¡¯s thought. He flashed through her life, grasping significant memories. Tuya held the bloody log, crying as she swung it down upon Sarnai. She submitted to Makhun¡¯s control, refusing to push back at him with her strength. She tended the numbroots in the dark place, blessing them with strength as her eyes created light in the darkness and saw all. Gurgaldai¡¯s joy radiated through her, smothering every other feeling like oversized furs that she could not crawl out of. You are Lifegiver and Lightmaker.


    He did not stop there, but dug ever deeper, mining her memories to know all that was Tuya of the Hollows. Gurgaldai passed through the seasons of her life, seeking to understand her and prove, over and over to himself, that she was worthy. He marveled at her interactions with the other khorota. Embraces with many girls like Khula where she let them know that at least one person cared about them, using paintakers and numbroot among the other herbs found in the Hollows to make pain smaller, taking credit for the crack in a weird rock when another woman failed to deliver good water to her tamer, gathering enough food to feed handfuls of women when their tamers were stingy with their supply, and on and on.


    Gurgaldai surveyed her deeds with a childlike confusion and wonder. He could not comprehend one helping others, trying to make pain smaller, and doing so at great risk to their own safety, without any gain for themselves. At first, he assumed she did it to gain their devotion, or to manipulate them into doing her bidding. He condemned her approach as inefficient compared to domination. Alas, when he saw that Tuya continued to make pain smaller even when it was clear that most of the women she helped never reciprocated nor did she command their loyalty, he sought her truth. Why do you help them when they do not help you? Why do you risk yourself for them?


    For love. Tuya shared her understanding of the word with him, remembering her conversation in the rain all those seasons ago with Sarnai.


    The concept struck Gurgaldai as if Tuya smashed him with Aldar. He withheld his thoughts, a few drops of sorrow leaking through his dammed flow. Then, his admiration of Tuya emerged from the dam. You are brave and good. Where I must break, you may mend. Where I must be feared, you can be ¡­ loved? This pleased the Great Ezen, but it did not appease him. Onward he went, plunging through her psyche.


    Gurgaldai became privy to her hidden resistance against the tamers. Memory after memory, many nearly forgotten, were drawn together, creating the story of how one with her phenomenal strength managed to hide herself right beneath the Spire without being detected. Yes, the tamers knew of her eyes, at least partially of the magic they harnessed. Yes, sometimes she failed and often she was beaten or battered by proxy, but always she endured, she found her way back to hope. She never gave in.


    Just like me, he thought. He admired her resilience, grew infatuated with her ability to continue to find the light in the darkness, to continue to give life even after so much had been taken from her, to let love guide her instead of hatred. With astonishment, he witnessed as she freed countless tamed from his minions. For seasons, she shattered tamer links, sharpening her skills right beneath his nose, and Tugal¡¯s before him, without picking up her scent.


    Very few of those tamers admitted losing to a khorota, he explained. Those that I pried the truth from did not speak of a beautiful unblooded child unlike any other, but of a horrid, evil monstrosity of a woman with claws like a yasmar and fangs like the lion head of the chimaera. You are more than I hoped for and I everything I will need.


    Zaya¡¯s warning came unbidden to Tuya. You must never let the tamers know how well you hear the wild, Tuya.


    I will not hurt you. Gurgaldai¡¯s sincerity flowed through their link, but Tuya resisted it, a short lifetime of needing to hide to stay alive refusing to relent to the most dangerous tamer alive.


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    Somewhere outside this vast sea of consciousness, strong arms embraced her body as his mind enveloped her with respect. You are special. You are worthy. You are my only equal. We were created by Celegana, two sides of her divine power, made to reforge the world in her honor. Together. Tuya, you are my Chosen.


    Tuya resisted the idea of being better than the countless others who suffered the same as her. She would not see the world and the people that lived in it the way the tamers did. She would not measure a person¡¯s worth by how mighty they were, either in body or in the strength of her consciousness. Sarnai could barely form a link with Tuya, her eyes could not see in the dark, nor could she give strength to the flowers, but she was of no less value than her, no less strong than her, no less deserving of love and freedom. All of these women were worthy. In that, Tuya did not lie.


    Gurgaldai persisted in his insistence that Tuya was unlike any other and she insisted in her persistence that she was exactly like every other.


    Tuya lowered her walls, released all her self-imposed restrictions to stay hidden, and repelled the tamer¡¯s consciousness. She was a tempest of love and light, a hurricane of hope assaulting Celegana¡¯s Spire, a solitary voice that spoke for the many who were silenced and she demanded her freedom. Gurgaldai did not brace himself for her rebellion, nor could his mind withstand her onslaught.


    Tuya opened her eyes to find the Ezen trembling, sensing his intertwined excitement and anxiety mirroring her own like a reflection in the good water. These feelings were mirrors of themselves, opposite reactions of the same sensation, one edging one forth and the other urging caution. Tuya saw him, simultaneously both the most beautiful and the ugliest creature she ever laid eyes on, and ever would. She wanted to hold him, to love him, and she wanted to break him, to hate him.


    ¡°My Chosen,¡± he said, kneeling in front of her and offering her his hand.


    Tuya twined her fingers between his, regretting and rejoicing the contact. She gazed into his eyes, seeing a boy unlike any other and exactly like every other. If she were to be claimed as his Chosen, she would determine whether she could choose to love him. She braved a deed she never imagined in all her dreams; she placed her hand on the back of his neck and pressed her head against his. Feeling his breath quicken on her face, seeing nothing but his eyes, Tuya reached out to him with her strength.


    He hesitated. Tuya¡¯s strength was unlike the tamers. She could not force her way into another¡¯s mind, but only be let in. ¡°Let me see your truth,¡± she said.


    Gurgaldai exhaled. ¡°I will never lie to you, Tuya.¡± He closed his eyes and their minds merged again, this time Tuya the visitor and him the host.


    Waves of awareness splashed Tuya and drenched Gurgaldai in his repressed truth. Beneath the surface, he harbored immense sorrow. She drank in his laments, spat out the lies that obfuscated them, and found the source of his pain. There was a hole within this man¡¯s spirit where love ought to reside. Always feared, never trusted. Always hated, never loved. Nobody loved him, nobody ever had, and he feared, like any other, that none ever would. In all his seasons, only one person ever reached out to him and tried to make his pain smaller. He longed to have her fill this void, but doubted he had the capacity to feel love for another the way he wanted her to love him. To him, every person, Tuya most of all, was a tool to be used to claim the world and fulfill Celegana¡¯s prophecy. His truth was like the weapon that defined his life: the crushing blow that he would never be loved and the piercing cut that he could never love.


    His thoughts flowed through to her as she witnessed tears form a layer of mist in those most beautiful of eyes. Gurgaldai ezen Celegan, master of the Celegan Empire, would-be conqueror of every nation on the grand landmass known as Vesarra, and fated father of the Son of the Conqueror and the Queen, gazed upon the only person in that world he would ever believe equal to him. She who could hear the voices as well as him. She who could quiet the voices of the tamed. She who had succeeded in breaking his binding link. As he looked upon this small, but unfathomably strong girl, he knew that she was the only one he would ever trust to be the queen to his conqueror. If anyone could ever fix the broken parts inside of him and make him love, if anyone could ever be capable of loving him, it was her.


    Gurgaldai closed the link.


    Feared by all and loved by none, he relinquished his touch on her and retrieved Aldar, no sign of the sorrow he hid within showing on the Great Ezen¡¯s mighty face. He pointed Aldar at her, extending it one-handed in another display of power. ¡°This one is my Chosen! Bring her to me by the sunset of her first blood. Any who harm her, who think to keep her, or hide her from me will meet an end far worse than Tamer Jhorgal.¡± He stepped toward the tamers, raising the abomination over his head. Each one cowered and flinched. Gurgaldai destroyed the ground at Makhun¡¯s feet, the shockwave causing cracks to appear like spiderwebs growing from where Aldar struck the land. Makhun whimpered and covered his head. ¡°You will beg and squeal like Tamer Jhorgal as the big lightmaker and the seasons cycle and yet you remain alive! You will wish it were a yasmar tending your fate and not Gurgaldai ezen Celegan!¡± He lifted Makhun off the ground with a one-handed grip around his neck. ¡°She and I are linked. If you disobey me, I will know.¡±


    ¡°I will obey,¡± Makhun squealed.


    Gurgaldai threw him at the nearest hollow. The tree reverberated and Makhun crumpled to the ground. ¡°You will.¡± He held Aldar out and spun to face each tamer. ¡°You all will. She is mine.¡± He gazed at Tuya, the anger on his face evaporating like morning mist. In its place, arose the most beautiful, yet dangerous, smile. ¡°My Chosen.¡±


    The tamers and khorota, all except for Tuya, fell to the ground and kissed Celegana¡¯s land as Gurgaldai ezen Celegan left them behind. Even then, Tuya wondered why Gurgaldai chose to leave her in the Hollows. To that question, she could find no truth, but only surmise that Gurgaldai ezen Celegan, the tamer determined to claim the world, acted with his feelings and not his wiser thoughts. For Tuya, her wiser thoughts realized that his emotional lapse gave her the opportunity to fly away to the faraway lands, if only she could overcome the feelings that bound her to this place.

 Chapter Seven: Misery

    Lonely days dragged past her like the bodies of runaways being tossed into the evil water after all the life had been beaten from them. The tamers avoided her, so afraid of Gurgaldai they ran from her when she was near. They demanded nothing of Tuya. That was not so bad as far as the changes went. Their lives went on, with always other khorota and new women from the faraway lands coming in to scream at and hit. To most of them, Tuya was one leaf in a forest. To one of them, their favorite leaf. Makhun remained, daring nothing but Tuya knew he schemed, knew the vindication pulsing in him whenever he glared at her. She would not give him another target in her stead. To make pain smaller, she would remain alone. As if she had a choice.


    The women avoided her too. None wanted to be connected with the Chosen of the Great Ezen, the one who murdered Sarnai. This was the most unwelcome of changes. They refused her offerings, refused to speak to her. When she was near, they scurried away like they were bugs, and she was the catcher. Tuya realized how much of her will to live came from making pain smaller, from the small moments where a little girl smiled at her from the corner of her eye, from feeling love and expressing it. With Sarnai gone, with everyone treating Tuya like she was gone, she had nobody but herself.


    For all the kindness she offered others over the last many cycles of seasons, she had none to give to herself. Her inner dialogue wore over the same thorny paths, where each thought was a barb to her esteem. The words she spoke within her lonely mind were like vines constricting her within her own self-hatred. Her own voice took on all the negative things tamers said about her and seasoned that vitriol with criticisms that only she could know. She learned that no matter how mean others could be, nobody could hurt you quite the way you could hurt yourself. When others said something to you, you could defend yourself. When you said something to yourself, you were the offender, and nobody was left to protect you. When you turn your own hatred inward, you believe it and you become it. It was the ultimate betrayal. Tuya¡¯s mind and body fought against her, binding her to misery and hopelessness.


    Tuya stayed up late, reciting these self-loathing conversations, occasionally adding something newly despicable about herself. She was stupid. She was gullible. She was a coward. She was weak. She was unlovable. She was incompetent. She was worthless. She was a failure. Over and over, she would run through every example she could think of that would confirm just how unworthy she was and just how much she deserved to suffer. After all, doesn¡¯t a person who murders someone they love deserve misery?


    Misery seeped into her as it grew in the region. With nobody accepting the leaf of the numbroot, many had first blood as the new season thawed the ice and even more of the women grew with child as the season of new life went on. Without her help, some starved and died of untreated wounds. Little girls had nobody to tell them they mattered and thus they too felt worthless and unloved. Tuya took on all that misery as her own. It was her failure that caused this.


    With her purpose gone, Tuya was stripped naked of meaning. No, the truth was worse than mere meaninglessness. Gurgaldai ezen Celegan had a purpose for her. She would have first blood any day now and then she would go with him, a tool he would use to make the world his. The world was better off without her.


    Tuya wanted to cry. For Zaya and the broken promises, for Sarnai, for little Khula, for the many women, and the many, many tamed creatures that she failed every single day. Yet, she could not cry. The ever-expanding pit in her stomach sucked away all the feeling, all the life, until all that remained was a hollow void. This too, was another indictment against her. If she could not cry for all the pain, did she even care? Did she ever care at all?


    Tuya lost herself in a stupor that had all the apathy of the numbroot¡¯s root with none of the numbing of the misery. She went days without eating or drinking, rarely sleeping, mostly thinking of how much she hated herself. When sleep did claim her, it was not her friend. Bloody logs and broken skulls, Zaya being pulled away from her, Gurgaldai coming to take her away, his three-headed chimaera roaring, bleating, and hissing at her. She dreamt of everyone in her region dying, of bodies piling high, bodies that looked like those of the newcomers, and even some that looked like her, all broken like Sarnai¡¯s, as she helped the chimaera feast upon the world. Above all the misery, the voices of the tamed cried for her to free them, but she never could. She stopped trying.


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    Sometimes, when she woke from the nightmares, she would let out a scream. Yet, that small burst of emotion was naught but the sky lights that flashed during bad storms, followed by a loud noise but soon gone and forgotten as if they never were. She buried her head into the ground and waited for whatever misery befell her next while she ate away at herself.


    Tuya oft thought of the cliffs that overlooked the evil water and the rocks beneath where the tamers threw the bodies of the khorota who birthed girls or who tried to run away. Some khorota found the strength to take themselves over the cliffs, ending their misery. Tuya, as avoided as she was, would be able to make the short journey past the flowing water and over the edge. She could end it all herself, rid the world of a failure and a threat. Each day and each night, the cliffs, and the answer they provided, were never far from her thoughts.


    It rained often in the Hollows during the season of birth. It was only on these days of downpour that Tuya remembered a day long ago when she chose hope over hopelessness and love over hate. Her promise to Zaya tried to awaken the slumbering will within her, to fill that dark void in her chest with hope. On these days, she wandered alone into the rains and found enough will to eat or drink, enough to stay alive for a few more days of misery. Like the big lightmaker cracking through the rainmakers and shining down upon her, these moments quickly passed as more and darker rainmakers smothered her hope again. It only took one moment of lapse, one self-loathing thought, one instance of another woman avoiding her, one memory of failure, of love lost, or of the inevitability of Gurgaldai, to bring her back to her hollow and into her stupor of misery.


    The season of the rains and rebirth ended, and with it, those moments of hope. Tuya lost her strength as her body wasted away, desiccated like many of the flowers that wilted in the big lightmaker¡¯s wrathful heat. She went days without moving from her hollow. With no food, no water, no love, least of all for herself, she waited to die so that she might join Sarnai, Khula, and the many she failed over the seasons.


    Makhun came to her in the night, carrying a large weird rock of good water and a favored strip of meat. Tuya thought she should want his offerings, but she desired nothing of the sort. All she wanted was for him to go away. She looked right through him as if he were an apparition.


    He set the offerings beside her and sat in the far corner of the tiny hollow. He sat there for what felt like the longest time, saying nothing, watching her with his tiny, dark eyes. Tuya¡¯s thoughts were frozen, as if she ceased to exist then and there, floating beyond her body like a falling feather. She felt nothing but the weight of her misery swallowing her whole.


    She startled when he spoke, as though surprised to still see him there. ¡°Who do you think will suffer if you kill yourself here, khorota?¡±


    Tuya said nothing. She did not care. Right?


    Makhun exhaled and leaned in, folding his hands in front of him and shaking his head at her. ¡°Everyone in this region will be killed for your selfishness. Not just me, nor even just the tamers. Everyone here will take the blame for letting you die. Gurgaldai ezen Celegan will ensure we all suffer immensely.¡±


    ¡°I don¡¯t care.¡± Speaking hurt Tuya¡¯s throat. It had been so long since she drank water, since she spoke. She decided never to do it again, one final act of spite for the tamer that hurt her so much.


    He jumped on her, seized her throat and thrashed her about, just for a few moments before pulling himself off her. ¡°Listen, khorota! You will either eat this meat and drink this water before the big lightmaker awakens or you will suffer something much worse than death!¡±


    Tuya did not bother to rub at her throat. She certainly did not bother to respond to him, let alone care about what more suffering he could inflict upon her. How wrong she was.


    Makhun leaned against her face, his horrid breath intensifying the ever-present pain in her gut, twisting starvation together with disgust. ¡°If you choose to starve yourself, we will have nothing left to lose. I will drag you out of this tree, throw you down upon the ground, and make you watch as we hurt every khorota in this region. They will suffer and each hit will be because of you. After we have pulled every scream from them, we will kill them all. Then, each of us will beat you, fill you with our seed, and only after all of us have had our turn, will we cut open your guts. You will slowly bleed out while we end our lives as painlessly as possible.¡± He leaned back, that wicked sneer on his lips. ¡°Or you can drink.¡±


    Tuya felt something other than misery awaken in her gut. The last thing she wanted was to let Makhun choose the way she died. The feeling was just enough for her to sit up and put her head to the weird rock and lap up some good water.


    ¡°Now eat.¡±


    Tuya¡¯s stomach hurt as the water went in and the second-to-last thing she wanted was to chew on meat. She did it anyway, taking a small bite and swallowing the tender, juicy offering.


    ¡°Good, right? I saved you the best piece.¡±


    She would never admit Makhun was right about anything. She hoped the evil Water Goddess swallowed him, but she kept eating, kept drinking, kept thinking of the cliffs as she ate her final meal. This monster would never decide her fate. Come morning light, Tuya would finally fly away from here.

 Chapter Eight: Cliffs

    Mist sprayed far, far below where the evil water crashed into the rocks and the good water roared over the edge of the cliff to join it. The endless evil seemed to fall over the side of the world at the end of Tuya¡¯s sight. In that vast expanse, a few fingers of rock rose above the evil, triumphs of Celegana over the nameless Goddess of the Waters. At the edge of forever, the big lightmaker climbed out of its daily slumber, tinting the distant skies beyond the Hollows the color of blood. Soon, it would reach the Hollows, and Tuya¡¯s misery would, at last, be over.


    Tuya sat down on the edge of Celegana¡¯s Hollows. A painful smile graced her mouth, knowing that she would die, having gotten the better of Makhun. Who was the stupid one now?


    Gazing down upon her death, Tuya¡¯s courage flew away, leaving behind the scared shell of a miserable child too afraid to fly away. She froze, numbing to nothingness, as the mist reached toward her like a tamer¡¯s mind.


    She looked behind her, trying not to think of the leap so much as to remember all the reasons she could not go on living. The Spire towered over her, rising high, high, high above all the trees with all their holes with an uncountable mass of tamer consciousnesses flowing from it like smoke burning from the fires of all the world¡¯s suffering. The tamers said that Celegana created her Spire when she left her children behind to fight the evil gods and goddesses, left it to the tamers so that they might continue her fight, continue eradicating all who defiled the land and the heathens who chose to follow the evil divinities. Tuya wondered if the one who gave eternal life to all the hollows truly wanted this life for her daughters.


    Whether she wanted to or not, Celegana was not here protecting girls like Tuya from her sons. Nothing would take away Tuya¡¯s pain, nothing but following Celegana back to the ground.


    Tuya leered over the edge again, her heart hammering harder than it had since the day she lost everything, for the second time. Something stuck out of the earth along the cliff¡¯s face, hiding a glimmer beneath layers of dirt and mud. Tuya reached for the hidden thing, straining to pull it free of the land. Almost tumbling over the cliffs in her effort to pry it free, she snatched herself from certain death and scampered back from the edge, holding the hidden thing.


    The thing was heavy for something so small, layered with seasons of ground. Tuya carried it to the flowing water and washed away the layers, curiosity distracting her from her true purpose this morning, the final act that she did not want to contemplate. Beneath all the layers of grime there was a sparkling little lightmaker. Tuya startled at the beauty of the thing, before sinking with the realization of what the thing was.


    Tuya stared at her eye. How long had it been since she saw herself? Certainly not since the last time she was in the dark place. She showed more wear than that day, cracks in her skin and a sallowness upon her complexion. How had she been so cruel to the person she looked at? How had she laid down and done nothing as her pain got bigger and bigger? Was this person she saw not worth caring about? Seeing her pain reflected back at her, Tuya regretted the last season of self-destruction, wishing she had seen herself, seen the girl like any other who still needed to be cared for.


    Tuya stalled, taking time as if she had her whole life instead of mere moments ahead of her, cleaning away the dirt from the hard, shiny thing. Once done, she took her place on the edge of Celegana¡¯s land, legs dangling over the cliffs, and looked at herself. Wide cheeks, narrow forehead, and pointed chin. Eyes like little lightmakers that shone upon a face colored like the wet sands where the evil waters met Celegana¡¯s ground. The tamers said it was a good face, though it felt like ages had passed since the last time a tamer spoke of it, since Gurgaldai called her beautiful.


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    She wept and wondered what life could have been were she born somewhere where the people did not hate her just for being born. The stray thought came like a sudden change in the winds. Gurgaldai does not hate me. The Great Ezen, a man more beautiful than any she ever saw, ever dreamt of, liked her face, wanted to protect her, wanted to be with her. Tuya realized, staring at her face but seeing into a different life how much she wanted a man like him to care about her, to put gentle arms around her, to press his lips to hers, and to tell her that she was beautiful, that he loved her.


    But, this was not a different life. Like all the others, he wanted to use her. The only difference was that he saw her as an equal. He wanted her and there was a world of difference between wanting something and loving something. Tuya clenched the shiny thing, so much of her wanting to believe that a boy so beautiful, a boy that showed the smallest touch of kindness, of respect, could love a girl like her. Many, many times her mind retraced this well-treaded path in the last season. She could not let him have her, make her a slave to making pain bigger.


    She sobbed for what could not be hers, anger rising as she regarded the beautiful face reflected back at her. Tuya threw the shiny thing over the edge, shrieking for the loss of the life that would never be hers, searching for the courage to fly away. Below, the good water crashed on the rocks, the evil water slammed into the cliff¡¯s side, but Tuya could not make herself meet them. Tuya did not want to die, she just did not want to live this life of pain. She hugged herself and rocked on the precipice of life and death.


    These two conflicting wants waged war inside her mind. Her past was nothing but echoes of suffering and loss, her now was relentless misery, and her future was hopeless. She could make nobody¡¯s pain smaller, least of all her own. She would only make things worse, only add to the suffering. Tuya lived by one code: make pain smaller. All the paths converged, the only conclusion was this: leap.


    For all that, the part of her that never gave up clung to life. This same part that turned her eyes to light on the day everything else was dark, the part that refused to let the last ray of hope within her extinguish. Like a small glow in a vast void, this tiny part of Tuya withstood the hurricane winds of self-destruction and hopelessness that spiraled around her screaming that she had no hope, that her life was and always would be loveless pain, that she did not deserve to live after what she did. Yet, this tiny piece of her held on to Zaya, to Sarnai, and to the dreams that someday she could feel loved again.


    Sobbing, Tuya dug her nails into the ground on the edge of her world, as this tiny part of her begged for one more moment, for a sign that life could go on. Within herself, she restored tentative peace, made compromise. Tuya agreed with herself on one final proposition that satisfied all parties within her. If no sign of hope answered her prayers by the time the first ray of the big lightmaker touched her, she would leap.


    Tuya lingered upon the cliff¡¯s face as the big lightmaker shone up the side of the rocks, light climbing ever closer to the end of her life. A snow-colored seabird flew from the forest and over the evil waters, a small, dull vapor connecting it to the tamer who controlled it from the Spire. It squawked, sighting her upon the ledge when the light creeped toward her dangling toes.


    Sobbing, Tuya clung to the ground, knowing that it was now or never as this harbinger of hopelessness soared over her. Heart pounding, breath rapid, her hands slick and sweaty upon the ground that held her to life, with no sign of hope answering her pleas, Tuya decided to die while she could still choose. From the Spire came the vastness of Gurgaldai ezen Celegan, his consciousness larger than any raingiver. The rocks below were her only chance at freedom, the only moment: now.


    Gazing out at the big lightmaker, Tuya released her grip on life and leaned forward. Then, just as the light touched the top of the cliff, just as all hope was gone, just as her decision was made, she saw upon the distant edge of the world beyond the ends of the evil water a final ray of hope. Riding upon the waters was an abomination made from the bones of trees, carrying people unlike any she had ever seen toward the Hollows.


    In that moment of hesitation, hope prevailed and life persisted, even as the stormwall crashed into her.

 Chapter Nine: Coward

    How dare you! raged Gurgaldai ezen Celegan.


    Tuya held him on the borders of her consciousness, pushing against his wrath. She scrambled away from the cliff¡¯s edge, clinging to renewed hope glimpsed upon the edge of the world, as her entire field of vision became the violent storm of his consciousness spiraling around her like a cyclone.


    He battered her with as much fierceness as any ever had, blood dripping from her nose as he forced his mind upon hers. How dare you think of dying on me, Tuya! How dare you waste your strength! How dare you be a coward!


    Tuya¡¯s frail defenses cracked like bones smashed by Gurgaldai¡¯s Aldar. He penetrated the cracks, seeping into her mind like evil water, filling every trench in her consciousness until he assumed absolute authority. Unable to withstand his wrath, Tuya surrendered her most recent thoughts to Gurgaldai. Desires of death to avoid life with him, dreams of flying away from pain, and most recently, of riding the abomination across the evil waters to where she could hide from him and be free of the pain of living in his Hollows.


    Disappointment inundated her. You cannot hide from me! Sorrow followed the first wave. Even you, the one who helps others for nothing in return ¡­ even you betray me.


    Gurgaldai¡¯s pain, his awareness that there was not a single person in all the world who cared for him, was large. It did not matter that he was the strongest man in existence, conqueror of the mightiest race of men to ever stride Celegana¡¯s earth, master of the Spire. Everyone would betray him, find any lapse in strength and exploit it, and he would have to crush them all. Even her. Even the girl with the great strength, shining eyes, beautiful face, and brave heart, would not make his pain smaller. She was just like every other.


    Tuya understood such loneliness, such hopelessness, such craving for someone to trust, for someone to make your pain smaller. She cried for him as she cried for herself, for the unloved boy and girl unlike any other and exactly like every other.


    Gurgaldai recoiled from her empathy, as if touched by the fiercest heat, as surprised as if he were a khorota given a kind word by a tamer. Gurgaldai pulled back from her, keeping most of himself beyond reach of their link. The sharpness and intensity of his anger dulled and softened. He watched the world¡¯s end from her eyes, following the abomination as it floated toward the Hollows.


    You would cross the evil water atop this desecration to escape me?


    To escape my pain, Tuya answered. I cannot live with this pain.


    His annoyance prickled against her. Even with him holding back much of his consciousness, it was sharp. Cowards do not breed conquerors.


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    Tuya¡¯s annoyance jabbed back at Gurgaldai. She refused to reduce her worth as a human to a glorified weird rock with the sole purpose of birthing a mighty tamer. That was one of the many, many reasons she would rather die than live with this pain. If even this beautiful boy could only see her as such a small part of her possibilities, what hope did she have that this pain would ever grow small?


    Then be more! Defeat the pain! Conquer it!


    You know nothing of my life, tamer! I have no power to change the world you create for me!


    With each thought, Tuya¡¯s rage grew, as did her will to survive, her will to push back against those who hurt and hurt and hurt everyone else until the world is naught but misery and suffering. She slammed into Gurgaldai, throwing his consciousness from her. The cyclone of foggy vapor swirled around her, pulsing with his thought. Their minds touched, remaining distinct as they communed as equals.


    You have power! he transmitted. If you want to change the way things are, do it! Be more than this cowardly creature hiding in her hollow, withering away like some pretty flower waiting to die! Be more, Chosen, and you shall be more than just a vessel for my seed! Be more and you can do whatever it takes to make pain smaller! Be yourself and we shall restore this broken world!


    Her whole life, tamers told her what she was. Nothing. Insignificant. Weak. Worthless. She knew nothing else. Like Makhun, he was trying to trick her so that he might find justification for her suffering. She would deny him such.


    No, he answered. Do not mistake me. If you run, I will catch you. If you hide, I will find you. If you attack me, I will defend myself. We are equal parts, both working together with the strength to remake Celegana¡¯s world. I do not want a Chosen who merely obeys me and carries my seed. I want you to show this world your power. Be strong. Be brave. Make pain smaller. Be yourself, Tuya.


    The words seeped into Tuya, like water into the sands. If I fight against the tamers who make my pain, if I protect the women in the Hollows, if I defend myself, you will allow it?


    Yes. His pleasure permeated the space between their minds. Cowards do not breed conquerors nor do they restore the Wholeness. Show me your will to live. Show me your power.


    I will.


    Gurg¡¯s satisfaction caressed the edges of her mind. That is what I want from you. Show them that you are unlike any other. Unlike any other except me. The satisfaction shifted, turning into something sharp, like the thorns of a flower that looked pretty but could leave you bleeding and in pain. Do not return here again. Do not allow yourself to wither away. Do not be a coward. If you do this again, you will be brought to me before you have proven yourself. Do not disappoint me. Chosen.


    Gurgaldai¡¯s consciousness whirled away, returning to the Spire, leaving Tuya alone on the cliffs. She breathed in the air, wanting to live this life, wanting to change her fate and the fate of others who spent their seasons oppressed. She would try to be as Celegana made her, a person to make pain smaller, to help good things grow, and to provide shelter from cruelty. Thus, she vowed to the Goddess, eying her Spire and the trees she left behind for her children, to restore balance and harmony where the Hollows had known naught but domination and discord.


    Alas, finding the first step was ever the hardest when your last step was so far away. The answer came to her as the abomination carrying dark people over the evil water encroached upon the Hollows. From high atop Celegana¡¯s Spire, several large taming consciousnesses flew toward the farawaylanders. Tuya stood upon the cliffs, staring out at the lives of those she would protect first.

 Chapter Ten: Beach

    Tuya ran, ran, and ran, cutting through forest, climbing over stone, and leaping across flowing water, remembering the joys of movement so long forsaken. She avoided the tamers rushing toward the sands, her mind sensing their hunger for conquest and claims as they hooted like it was a prized khorota¡¯s first blood. Tuya ran, as fast as she could, toward the splashing waters and cracking trees, toward the screams sounding off in her head, toward nightmares, but also toward the promise that she would make pain smaller, perhaps even toward the tiniest hope that she could leave the Hollows behind her.


    Tuya ascended the cliffside rocks, scurried along the coastal ridge, and witnessed from high the violence on the sandy shore below. More tamers than Tuya ever saw gathered on the sands where the evil water washed its poison upon the land, with more cascading down each moment like the falling water near the cliff. Any farawaylanders that reached the shore would be swarmed. Indeed, one man ran over the water like it was the hardest ground. The dark figure threw his hands up, shouted something incomprehensible to her ears, and was mauled by a horde of log-swinging tamers.


    A woman followed him, leaping from the wooden abomination and soaring through the air like a great, dark bird. She shouted something and swung at the tamer swarm with a long stick with a shiny rock-like point. She stabbed a handful of the tamers before they brought her down, raining punches on her from every direction. The tamers dragged her screaming from the broken farawaylander man, pinned her to the ground, ripped off her weird feathered hides, and took turns punching, kicking, pinning, and planting seed as she screamed and fought them.


    Tuya clutched her chest, wishing she had power to save this woman. What was she but one malnourished little girl against a horde of big brawny beasts like this? Her hope dwindled and she felt like a stupid khorota for ever imagining she could make a difference in a world like this.


    The farawaylander abomination was a most unnatural sacrilege. Formed from the dead parts of trees stripped of their bark, severed from their roots, bound together with weird vines, and tamed to traverse over evil waters where no tree should ever be, Tuya was repulsed. The tamed creature that rampaged in the waters, a gigantic-headed monster with many handless arms the size of trees, clubbed into the abomination, smashing through the propped-up dead tree in the abomination¡¯s center, seizing the farawaylanders trying to stab it with their pointy sticks. Evil water flowed into the abomination from the hollows the monster punched into its dead trees. Panic spread among the farawaylanders as they fought the evil water, the monster, and the tamed farawaylanders.


    Watching from the high ridge overlook, clutching to helplessness and hopelessness, those old hollowpartners, Tuya contemplated whether this carnage was Celegana¡¯s justice for what the farawaylanders did to the trees.


    She may have believed that if her mind could not detect the panicked thoughts and the immense emotions of those farwaylanders. This was pain. The dark figures ran along the desecrated trees, jumping and slipping past the monster¡¯s arms as it tried to grab them, stabbing with their long sticks, pushing against the wills of tamers that attempted to seize control of their bodies, screaming out as their tamed allies attacked them, dying inside as they yielded control of themselves to the tamers and hurt their loved ones.


    Tuya knew that panic, that misery, that sense of hurting the person you loved most and being unable to stop it. She understood such pain and never wanted another to feel it as she had, no matter whether they defiled trees and thought to tame the evil water. Even if she carried but the smallest hope that they could survive, even if she knew today was not her day to fly away, Tuya would make their pain smaller. She opened her mind to the strength within her and reached out toward the many-armed creature.


    Tuya knew this monster, a nightmare the tamers used to threaten little girls like her if they dared disobey. She could hear them still, chastising her for moving slow to do their bidding when she was staving off starvation. You will be food for the kalagoth, khorota. The tamers savored describing the monster¡¯s hunger for khorota blood, the violence of their teeth and arms, and how the death in the waters would not even send them back to Celegana. Touching minds with this monster, the tamers had been incapable of finding the words to describe the pain this terror was capable of inflicting.


    The tamer within the kalagoth controlled and directed the immense beast¡¯s hatred, working to keep the farawaylander women alive to be claimed rather than allowing this vile creature to stain the waters to darkness with its toxin, to thrash out and kill them all. The kalagoth lashed against the tamer and he fought hard to hold his control despite his great strength, but Tuya held back, knowing that this creature unbounded would only make pain greater.


    Tuya retracted her consciousness from the kalagoth. Upon the shore, more farawaylanders fought the tamer horde. Dark, hairless men with bare, muscular chests and bright hides on their legs evaded tamers swinging crude logs at them with beautiful, impossible movement, then sliced into the tamers with curved weird rock claws. They spun around the tamers, spilling entrails upon the sand. The dark women¡¯s not-hides blew in the breeze as they soared into the sky, bright many-colored feathers fluttering as they seemed to fly, each wearing a vine-thing around their necks with many rocks and shells on them. The women fell from the sky like great birds upon their prey, crunching atop tamers and plunging their long sticks through their flesh.


    What amazed Tuya most was not the impossibility of their movement, nor even that they made the tamers look weak. What amazed her most was that the dark men and women fought in pairs with one flying woman and one swift man working in tandem to kill tamers who only worked for themselves. They protected each other, they respected each other, they loved each other, working each moment to make the other¡¯s pain smaller. Hope flared in Tuya like the big lightmaker on the brightest day of the season of heat that there were places in the world that truly were not like the Hollows, places in the world where a girl could love and be loved, where life was more than enduring pain. There was love in the world out there beyond the Hollows and Tuya promised to protect it.


    From the Spire and the Hollows, came many streams of smoke, carrying malevolence and misery. The many minds of the tamers seeped into the farawaylanders. The dark people resisted the tamers, empowered by their connections with each other. Those who resisted became sluggish and vulnerable. Dark farawaylander men were swarmed by tamers attacking them with thick logs in their lapses and women were pulled down. Worse, a few succumbed to the tamers and turned their abilities against the ones they loved.


    Tuya reached for a tamed woman, her long stick slick with the blood of her beloved. She screamed in her mind for freedom, no longer caring whether she lived in a world without Rahan, without her pearl, just wanting to plunge her spear into as many Celegans as she could. Yet, instead of fighting the tamers, she turned her spear toward Finley, the smiling girl that loved to tease Captain Yaha to her wit¡¯s end.


    Tuya cried atop the ridge as her mind touched this farawaylander¡¯s, the pain echoing her own. She lowered every wall, let go of every hesitation, unleashed seasons of repressed hatred, and pushed on the tamer¡¯s consciousness. Be gone, tamer!


    Fragile was his hold, and easily broken. Freedom restored to the farawaylander woman, this beloved of Rahan and friend of Finley. The woman leapt into the air, Tuya feeling the weightless flight as the wind propelled her up on mighty legs and then guided her down into a crowd of tamers, spiraling her long stick¡ªher spear¡ªlike a cyclone of death.


    Please, the woman projected, help the others!


    Tuya ended her link with the freed woman and embraced her strength. One after the next, she severed the taming links that controlled the farawaylanders as if she were the sharpest spear and they the softest flesh. As she linked with the farawaylanders she learned pieces of them. In their thoughts of death, some yearned to return to a place with shores of sand the same color as the rocks they wore around their neck, deep vibrant jungles, and a huge good water where the rain always fell and purified hearts and minds. Others blamed their captain and the sultana who formulated this foul proposition to speak with the Celegans. Many offered prayers to Dalis, Divine of the Waters, and her brother Zafrir, Divine of the Winds. Even more beseeched someone called the Fourteenth for strength and wisdom or sought to honor a man called the First Mahagan. All thought of each other, cared for each other, dashed into danger to save friends and spearmates. The thoughts they shared, the love they carried with them, strengthened Tuya, propelling her forward to break every link upon shore and the floating abomination, this thing the farawaylanders called the Sixty-Four.


    She tried to bolster them with her own love, letting them know someone in the Hollows cared about them, admired them, and thought them strong. Be free, she told them. Be you. As she thought these things to the farawaylanders, she thought to herself that this was the most she had ever been herself.


    Taming consciousnesses swarmed around the freed farawaylanders, seeking any crack to seep through. They found none. Their glory and excitement became terror as they fled the beach without any claimed. The farawaylanders overwhelmed the stragglers with their strange movement and stronger weapons, piling tamers upon the bloody sands. Many tamers thought to seize the minds of their would-be killers, only to find Tuya¡¯s protection dooming them to the spear¡¯s sharp point. In the evil water, the kalagoth¡¯s huge, slimy body went limp and sunk beside the ruins of the farawaylander abomination, its blood darkening the evil waters as a tall, screaming woman continued to plunge her spear into the top of its head. Taming vapor rushed out of the dying kalagoth, retracting back toward the heights of Celegana¡¯s Spire.


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    Soon the beach was free of either the bodies or the minds of tamers. Tuya lurked on the ridge, watching, hoping.


    Their way of speaking pleased Tuya¡¯s ears even though she could not understand their words. Many wept over the bodies of their loved ones, Tuya lingering on the first woman she freed as she crumbled over the man the tamer made her kill. Rahan. For the first time in her life, Tuya felt sad that a man returned to Celegana. She wondered what he was like, to be so loved by this farawaylander woman. She wished she could have known him. She wished she could have been just a few moments faster, then she would have had the chance. Tuya let her tears fall down her cheeks, trying not to hate herself for failing.


    The woman who slew the kalagoth leapt to the shore and started barking at the others, pointing at the little abominations that were stuck on the sides of the big, broken one. Tuya shrank away from her, knowing the voice of command well, though seeing it from a woman intrigued her nigh as much as it scared her. She leaned forward, fingers on the edge of the ridge, and watched the woman organize the other farawaylanders.


    The men ran over the darkened water, climbed up the broken abomination and lowered the little abominations into the evil water. They jumped in, picked up weird branches, and somehow tamed the evil water by hitting it with the branches. The dead tree things carried them toward the sand, gliding over the evil water. Maybe with the exception of seeing woman who could jump as high as a tree or men that could run atop water like it were solid dirt, Tuya never saw anything so weird.


    Ashore, the women spoke, their Ezen listening more than talking. Tuya contemplated seeking a link so she could understand them, eying the first girl she freed as she gestured toward her head and spoke to her master. The master scanned the beach, looking up into the Hollows and barked at the other women.


    Soon, several handfuls of farawaylander women vaulted into the air. They searched the shore, leaping on ledges and even going up to the edge of the Hollows while their men pulled the smaller desecrations onto the sand and climbed out of them.


    Go, Tuya thought. Go, before they return, before he comes. She pushed her mind outward, with images of the farawaylanders taming the water with their weird sticks and leaving. She could sense their growing apprehension, permeating the air like smoke from a hollow fire. Still, they leapt around, the men now joining them as they searched the beach with growing panic. Go, to where you belong, where you can live and love. Go! Be free! Before he hurts you!


    The farawaylanders slowed their hunt, looking to their Ezen woman. She was among the tallest and darkest of them, her night-sky colored hair tied to look like intertwined vines, wearing the same bright feathers on her not-hides. She gripped the vine around her neck with the shells and shiny rocks, her kalagoth-slaying spear pointing up at the sky. ¡°Show yourself!¡± she shouted, speaking words Tuya knew even if she spoke them wrong.


    Tuya froze, making herself small, slinking down to her belly where they would not see her up high on the ridge.


    ¡°Please!¡± the woman howled, desperation from her strong mind loud in the void. ¡°I know you saved us! Please, show yourself!¡±


    Tuya stayed small. Go! Now! Before it is too late.


    ¡°Come with us! We can protect each other! Please!¡±


    Tuya tasted guilt, like a woman who killed her own best friend, emanating from the farawaylander. She wanted to make this strong woman¡¯s pain smaller, to preserve her life, and, the dreaming part of her pondered the possibilities of touching those faraway sands where no tamers roamed. Tuya took her mind to the woman, touching the edges with care so she knew Tuya was there, lurking on the fringes of her consciousness. You would take me with you?


    ¡°Yes!¡± Then the deaths of my crew will not have been in vain.


    Tuya¡¯s breath quickened, as the idea took root. She could not let herself believe in it, but neither could she deny how much she wanted it. Her body never felt so heavy as she pulled herself up and stood on the edge of the cliff. ¡°Up here.¡±


    The woman said something in her own tongue too quiet for Tuya to hear, barked orders at her people, and leapt through the sky, taking two big jumps to cross the vast space between them and then up, up, up until she landed on the ridge. She fell to her knee and bowed her head, like a khorota and not the Ezen of these people. ¡°I am called Captain Yaha of the Sixty-Four.¡± She stalled seeking words she could not find in Tuya¡¯s language. Captain Yaha of the Sixty-Four looked up into Tuya¡¯s eyes and extended her hand toward her. ¡°Life protector, it would please me to take you home, where we will honor you.¡±


    Home. The girl with a childhood of dreams of faraway lands clung to the notion that home could be somewhere other than the only place she had ever known. Her mind saw this land of sand and trees with no holes where dark men and women lived as equals and loved with all their beings. Home. A place to be free, to belong, to be loved, and to make pain smaller. Just the knowledge that such a place existed made pain worth enduring. Alas, she could not run, could not hide. She could not make these people¡¯s pain larger by bringing Gurgaldai to them. The dream died, like a childhood that never happened.


    The woman rose to her feet. ¡°What do I call you?¡±


    That much, Tuya could give her. That much, should not make Captain Yaha of the Sixty-Four¡¯s pain larger. ¡°Tuya.¡±


    ¡°Tuya of the Hollows.¡± The woman brushed Tuya¡¯s face with a touch as gentle as a soft flowing good water, like the one in the dark place, like how Zaya used to do. Feelings long buried welled up, bringing the evil water to Tuya¡¯s eyes. Captain Yaha of the Sixty-Four wiped away her tears, just like Zaya would have, only making them come faster. ¡°The Fourteenth binds me to protect you, as you have protected us. Tuya, you deserve to be free.¡±


    Tuya kept her head low, not wanting to show this woman how much she wanted to have a mother again. She would not cause this woman¡¯s pain, could not grow attached. Not after Sarnai. ¡°You cannot protect me. Nobody can.¡±


    ¡°You fear Gurgaldai ezen Celegan. Yes, I do too.¡± She brushed Tuya¡¯s hair out of her eyes and knelt to her level. ¡°I think we need each other, Tuya. I think Gurgaldai will chase us whether you are with us or not. I think he will hunt you, whether you stay here or go with me. I think we do not just want to be near each other, I think we need to be together if either of us will make it home.¡±


    Tuya lowered her eyes and Captain Yaha of the Sixty-Four squeezed her hand, not unlike how Zaya used to. Her promises to Zaya hung between them. ¡°If I fly away with you, can you make me stronger? Can you help me free all of us?¡±


    ¡°I promise to make it my life¡¯s purpose.¡± She tipped Tuya¡¯s head up, the memory of that motherly touch alighting her heart, and smiled.


    Tuya smiled back, ignoring every impulse the tamers ever taught her. She attached herself to another like moss to a tree, knowing that the tamers would strike that tree down to pain her. Hope was rare in the Hollows, and dangerous too when it rarely ever came to light. Alas, like the flower blooming in the season of new life, it grew in Tuya despite seasons of cold desolation.


    ¡°I will go.¡±


    Captain Yaha of the Sixty-Four beamed, her teeth like the shiny rock on her neck vine. ¡°Then we fly away. Hang on tight, Tuya.¡±


    Tuya put her arms around the woman, holding close to her, nestling her head in her side as Captain Yaha of the Sixty-Four slipped her spear into a hole thing on her back and scooped her up. Anxiety and excitement so often traveled in a pair and Tuya felt much of both as the wind rushed up at her. She flew away, and landed safely on the sands below as if she only stepped off a small rock and not leapt off a cliff.


    Captain Yaha of the Sixty-Four tapped her shoulder and chuckled. ¡°Good, Tuya.¡± She barked more orders at her people in her strange, but pleasant, language. Among the words, she heard her name a few times. Tuya kept her eyes down, dreadfully uncomfortable with all the attention, unsure of how these people would treat her or if they blamed her for the dead farawaylanders on the shore and in the water. She tried to make herself small and hide near Captain Yaha of the Sixty-Four, like she would as a little khorota staying behind Zaya.


    Many of the woman she liberated from the tamers tossed their arms around her and spoke their weird, melodic words. Tuya tried to appease them, to give them what she wanted, afraid of what they would do. She put her arms around them, touching them with her strength, making them more of themselves. In return, she could feel their overwhelming gratitude buzzing around in their minds. Some of the men approached her, and she retreated from them, scurrying and hiding behind Captain Yaha of the Sixty-Four. Captain Yaha of the Sixty-Four barked at the men, some of the women laughing as well as some of the men. Such a weird sight, like a wolf and a rabbit playing together. One man backed away from Tuya, arms up, hissing, ¡°Captain Yaha.¡±


    Laughter, men respecting a woman, men leaving her alone, dead trees taking her to a new home, promises to grow strong, to free the Hollows, a mother. These things should have made her happy. Instead, she felt nervous, certain they were too good to be true. Tuya watched the hill leading down to the beach as Yaha helped her into an abomination, certain that this must be a dream and any moment she would wake in her hollow, hungry, alone, and unloved, with Makhun standing over her saying, ¡°You did this.¡±


    Instead, Tuya forced herself to believe, to hope, and to dream. She envisioned her future, using her strength in the jungles of the faraway land, chasing her friends in the sand, looking into their eyes as she told them she loved them. She would learn to use these spears, maybe even jump like Captain Yaha, and someday, she would come back and help all the girls she left behind today. As this future grew in her mind, so did her fear. The more one had to live for, the more one had to lose. The more one had lost, the more they expected to lose again. Always watching and waiting for the next sign, for the moment when the good things were ripped away, she kept her eyes on the Hollows where no tamers nor even taming consciousnesses came to stop them.


    Could it be? Could she finally be free? With her protecting the farawaylanders from being tamed and them protecting her from being caught, the tamers could not stop them, could they? Tuya resolved herself to believe, knowing that she could face any tamed creature and that Captain Yaha would keep her safe in turn. She was flying away. This dream was real. She would not wake in her hollow, ever again. She clung to the woman beside her, never taking her eyes off the beach as all the farawaylanders loaded into the abominations.


    Then, Gurgaldai came, within the terror of every khorota, every tamer beneath the Ezen, of every living thing to ever hear its name. Chimaera.


    Some things were too good to be true.

 Chapter Eleven: Chimaera

    Atop the hill leading down to the sands, the central head of the Chimaera roared, quaking Tuya¡¯s bones, shaking the trees at its back and the dead ones on the beach, blowing hot breath scented with meat and blood. Within the dead tree that moved over evil water, Tuya clung to the farawaylander sitting beside her. The woman held her too, readying her spear as she shouted something in her language, her mind giving off the same terror felt by every consciousness bearing witness to the monstrosity headed toward them. Men holding weird sticks tried to tame the water, to push them off the sands and away from the Hollows.


    Captain Yaha gripped Tuya¡¯s shoulder fiercely as desperation dispersed from her consciousness. ¡°Can you free it?¡±


    Dare she believe in such a thing happening? The tamers oft intimidated khorota with the threat of beasts. Monsters like the kalagoth or the yasmar were familiar, but none were as prominent as the Ezen¡¯s favored beast. This creature conquered pretenders and sundered their old stones with unparalleled capacity for destruction and death. Three heads, each massive and large enough to be paragons of pain on their own, merged into one horrific body larger than a handful of the biggest bears and greater than the sum of its terrible parts. The beast was a lifeform perfected in the worst way, a creature as beautiful as it was hideous. The only thing that could match the chimaera was the man lurking within those three heads and the only one who equaled Gurgaldai was the only person in the world Tuya could control.


    ¡°I will try my best,¡± she told Captain Yaha, putting her hand on hers.


    Captain Yaha squeezed Tuya¡¯s hand, emitting her gratitude with her touch as much as Tuya could sense it with her mind strength. ¡°That is all I ask. If you can even slow it down, maybe we can kill it.¡±


    The farawaylander men jumped out of the desecrations to help push them away from the beach while every weird stick within was used to tame the water. At a foreign word from Captain Yaha, women leapt to the shore and readied their weapons. Tuya saw beyond them, her little lightmaker eyes fixed upon the three-headed tyrant, thinking of the boy unlike any other and exactly like every other within the creature. If she could match him, if she could equal him, Captain Yaha could defeat the chimaera, and she could be gone from this place of monsters wearing the bodies of beasts. She chose to believe, even as terror gripped her like the arms of a kalagoth.


    The chimaera¡¯s central head, the lion, roared once more, before galloping down the hill, each stride covering many, many body lengths. Tuya¡¯s mind rushed out to meet the chimaera like a spear hurled by the strongest arm. Yet, instead of piercing into the consciousness of the creature, she hit an impenetrable wall of stone, cracking the sharp point of her will. Tuya slammed into it, repeatedly trying to plunge into the depths of the creature¡¯s psyche, only to be repelled with no progress. Screaming within and without, she pressed harder, giving everything she had to merge her mind with the chimaera. Let me free you!


    The creature refused to grant her audience. I am greater, Chimaera returned, the thought pounding into her skull from several wills. She could not determine where the chimaera ended and Gurgaldai began, fused they were into the ultimate weapon of the Hollows. The creature exalted in its link with Gurgaldai, becoming more than it ever was before, perfected through the bond with the Ezen.


    You cannot free one who chooses to be one with me, Chimaera projected. You have fought well, Tuya. Be proud that you proved yourself greater than the others. Now, behold, the might of the Chimaera!


    Beast and man expelled her with phenomenal power. Tuya was blasted back, her mind crashing into her body, rattling her skull, sending her to her back, spilling over the desecrated wood within which she rode.


    Captain Yaha shouted and women leapt into the air, wind carrying them to the shore. Men rolled out of the tree skeletons and ran along the water, some rushing to fight and others pulling the abominations further out into the evil water. It was all Tuya could do to watch as her hope dwindled.


    Storms crackled upon the ram head¡¯s horns, rising toward a crescendo until it split the air, streaking toward the evil water. The water burst with colors, dazzling and deadly, accompanied with the screams of the men in the water. They writhed as their dark skin charred with lines that looked like trees when all the leaves fell dead. The storm continued to burn them, paralyze them, until they burst like berries squeezed in a tamer¡¯s mighty hand. Naught but empty husks remained of these men that smiled at her.


    The few men still in the desecrations howled out their rage, dashing over the evil water toward those fighting on the beach, leaving Tuya alone to behold Chimaera¡¯s might. They fought well, Captain Yaha synchronizing their assault, spears plunging from the sky, crashing into the beast¡¯s back and weird rock claws scraping against serpentine flesh. Alas, none of their blows slowed Chimaera and even these warriors who took to the sky and moved like forces of nature could not outrun the beast.


    The serpent head was as long as many hollows were tall and its scaly body was thick enough to swallow plenty of the holed trees. It thrashed about slamming into the farawaylanders, knocking them over, coiling around them until they suffocated and snapped apart, and biting into them with fangs larger than Tuya. The ram head gored into the dark folk, before they exploded from its crackling storms. The lion head¡¯s roars stunned those close enough to hear, its maw swallowing several farawaylanders at once, leaving behind bloody stumps where good people used to be. One woman leapt atop the lion head, her spear breaking on the top of the creature¡¯s hide. Chimaera threw the woman from its back, slammed her to the ground, and stomped her into the sands, crushing every bone in her body with its massive paw, as it devoured a screaming man trying to protect his beloved.


    Chimaera was unstoppable. It rumbled through the farawaylander defenses, claiming the evil waters, its scaly serpentine tail thrashing at any who tried to get close. The giant body splashed through the water toward Tuya, three sets of Gurgaldai¡¯s sky-colored eyes focused on her. Tuya froze, hopeless, helpless, lost. All good things came to an end. Always. This man would have her and he would be furious that she hoped to leave. He would take her to the Spire for this and leave her trapped within forever. Nobody could protect her from him. Tuya¡¯s life was over, not even a full morning after it began again.


    Captain Yaha landed beside her, the desecration shaking from the force of her arrival. She seized Tuya, tossed her on her shoulder, and leapt over the head of the beast, her legs barely avoiding the lion¡¯s teeth, her body soaring over the lashing of the serpent, landing where the water met the sand, both colored by the blood of the fallen.


    ¡°I cannot free him,¡± Tuya cried. ¡°Chimaera wants to be tamed.¡±


    Captain Yaha stroked Tuya¡¯s cheek as Chimaera obliterated the abominations in the water. ¡°This is not your fault, Tuya. Stay safe. Hide. The Sixty-Four do not surrender to tyrants and monsters. We will kill this creature yet, and we will go home.¡± Captain Yaha rose to her full, towering height, and roared much like the lion. The surviving farawaylanders rallied around her, forming ranks and staring headfirst at the avatar of death returning to the beach.


    Tuya ran and she cried, knowing that they would all die and there was nothing she could do to make that pain smaller for them or for herself. There was no end to her pain and no way to stop Gurgaldai and Chimaera. This was her life, there was no escape. She was Chosen.


    The farawaylanders fought with courage, with skill Tuya could only dream of possessing. Were they to fight every tamer in the surrounding regions, Tuya believed they could prevail with her protection. Yet, they fought an enemy who transcended the powers of all men except one. Bodies half-devoured, charred from skybursts, with faces twisted from poison and eternally etched with excruciating pain, fell upon the forsaken sand. The men were cast aside, killed with no mercy. The women were killed too, though many were left broken upon the sands, clinging to the last vestiges of their lost lives.


    Tamers returned to share in Chimaera¡¯s glory. Atop the hill, they chanted, ¡°GER-GULL-DIE!¡± Worse, they came down in droves, seizing women and dragging them up the hill to be raped.


    Captain Yaha¡¯s spear ripped through flesh and chased them off before Chimaera crashed toward her. Leaping high, roaring, ¡°Olono!¡± she evaded the serpent¡¯s reach, plunged, not unlike a skyburst, and buried her spear into an eye of the ram head. The monster growled, lower-pitched than anything Tuya ever heard. Captain Yaha leapt aside, leaving her spear in the creature, before the lion head could tear into her.


    Captain Yaha dashed toward another spear and, for a moment, Tuya believed in her. That inextinguishable hope flared like the big lightmaker breaking through the raingivers. Captain Yaha was invincible, she could stab each eye, blind this monster, and lead Tuya away from here. They could hide and move through the Hollows, lurking in dark places where Tuya could light the way. It might not be easy, but they would find their way home, to a place where Gurgaldai would never think to find her, to a place where there were no tamers, no chimaeras, no days like this one where everything was taken away.


    Hope was a rare thing in the Hollows, and for good reason.


    Chimaera anticipated Captain Yaha, the serpent arrived at the spear first, slammed into Captain Yaha and threw her to the sands. Captain Yaha rolled, first from the blow, then she continued downhill to escape the next attack. It did not matter, Chimaera was too fast. The serpent caught Captain Yaha as she vaulted into the air, sending her crashing to the sands where the evil water met the shore.


    Tuya screamed out her name, pleading with Gurgaldai to stop, knowing how this story ended but unable to accept the end. When had this not happened before? How many times must she live through this pain? Zaya, Sarnai, and now Captain Yaha of the Sixty-Four. Tuya reached out toward Chimaera, pulsing with desperation and need. Please, Chimaera. Let her live.


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    You care about this heathen?


    Tuya¡¯s instinct was to conceal, to never let a tamer see that she cared for another. She slumped down, physically and psychically. She made herself small, trying to hide her heart.


    When will you learn, my Chosen? You cannot hide from me. I sense the love you give to this one who breaks the blessings and twists them into abominations, who has the ambition to sneak into our domain, who dares to steal away my Chosen. Chimaera¡¯s anger tore through Tuya¡¯s mind, her head a storm of pain. It subsided nearly as fast as it came on, but not before it drove her to her knees and left her head in shambles like old stones smashed by Aldar.


    She knew it was pointless to plead, to cling to the belief that she would not lose everything. When had the futility of something ever stopped her before? Knowing it was stupid, it was stubborn, it was refusal of truth, she still tried her best to make pain smaller. Please, Gurgaldai! She will make me stronger!


    Curiosity bordering on bewilderment passed from Chimaera to Tuya, turning into intrigue and then a bright, burning glee. I may yet let her live, if you are strong enough to keep her alive. Show me your power, Chosen!


    Chimaera hesitated, restricting his mind from Tuya¡¯s awareness, and refusing to deal the killing blow. Captain Yaha pushed against the sands, but sank right in, unable to rise from this fall. No more did Captain Yaha try to rise to her feet, no more did she leap into the skies, no more would she protect Tuya.


    Tuya reached out to her, hoping to give her strength to survive this. I am here, Captain Yaha of the Sixty-Four. Let me in and I will do what I can to make your pain smaller.


    Nothing can ever take away my pain, the woman returned. Nor do I deserve your kindness. Still, Captain Yaha let her in.


    Captain Yaha¡¯s dying thoughts were of agonizing regret and unworthiness. It had been her to persuade Sultana Biba Mahagan to allow the Sixty-Four to embark on this expedition, it had been her to believe that they might find friendly life in the Celegan Hollows, it had been her who commanded the ship, and led them right to this forsaken shore, into the grasp of kalagoth, tamers, and a chimaera. It had been her to do all of this, with the hope that it would fill the hole within her, that it would etch her name in the history of the Isles lest she be forgotten. Yaha was a failure, a miserable, worthless, failure who got sixty-three good Mahagans killed just to prove her purpose. She did not deserve to live. She deserved this pain.


    Tuya wept. Nothing and everything about Yaha¡¯s pain was familiar to her. Her own pain seeped into the link. Memories of Sarnai and Khula, of a broken girl hiding in the corner of her hollow waiting to die, of sitting on the edge of the cliffs looking down at her death, feeling these same things. Then, Tuya compounded her own pain, even as Yaha did the same, blaming themselves for the pain the other now endured. Their thoughts flowed as one, their feelings aligned, as they shared with each other a final farewell. I am sorry I could not protect you.


    Yaha closed the link and chose to lie on the sand and accept her fate. Chimaera stood on the beach, watching Tuya, its own mind sealed behind the most powerful of walls. Tuya looked at Yaha, at Chimaera, and looked within herself. She was tired of always losing, of always feeling not good enough, of being broken. Of all the times she built herself back together, none felt so crushing as this breaking. From feeling like herself, from feeling hope, from feeling strong, to this absolute desolation where she was a failure and nothing could ever be right in this world and she would never be powerful enough to change anything.


    Tamers chanted Gurgaldai¡¯s name and dragged the surviving women into a pile behind Chimaera, already hitting them and ripping off their not-hides. Tuya hated them, hated Gurgaldai and his ruthlessness, hated this life. Once again, she decided that she would die. Tuya went to Yaha, wrapped her arms around her, and chose this time to go with Zaya, with Sarnai, with Yaha.


    Yaha begged her to run and Chimaera roared at them, the force of the breath nearly blowing Tuya out to the evil water as she clung to Yaha for the strength and courage to die. He roared again, this time Yaha seizing her tight to keep her from slipping away. Again, and again, and again, Chimaera roared. The creature towered over her, the serpent slithering along the shore and hissing in her ear, the ram crackling with skybursts and bleating, the lion opening its maw and spilling hot, horrid breath into her nose. Tuya wanted to run, to hide, but she held to Yaha, knowing there was no escape and choosing to let her running and hiding end here on this beach where she failed for the last time. Let Gurgaldai see how unworthy she was, let him end her.


    The serpent slithered on her back, scaly and slimy, the lion lowered its maw enveloping Tuya and Yaha in a mouth full of massive, sharp teeth. She closed her eyes, clung to Yaha, and accepted the end. Yet, he played with her, letting the fear build and the doubts fester.


    The ground shook and Tuya shook with it, daring to open her eyes. Chimaera sat back on its haunches, watching her with those beautiful eyes. Gurgaldai¡¯s consciousness pressed against her walls, his thought barely perceptible. Cowards do not breed conquerors and you are no coward, my Chosen. Claim this heathen for yourself and make her strength your own.


    ¡°I claim her,¡± Tuya said, gripping Yaha in her arms, shielding her from Gurgaldai, from all the tamers already staking their claims on the captured farawaylander women.


    ¡°What are you doing?¡± Yaha whispered, eyes wide, face covered in evil water, pulling on Tuya¡¯s hides to keep her from rising.


    ¡°Protecting you.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    Tuya inhaled, wondering that same question. Was she not just prolonging her pain? Dying would take away that pain, but it would not fill the hole within her, nor would it fill the hole within Yaha, and if she did not endure this pain, all the holes would remain in every soul in this land. ¡°Because there is still more we can do, Captain Yaha of the Sixty-Four. This world is not done with you, and I will need you before it is done with me.¡±


    Yaha clenched her jaw as she unclenched her fingers.


    Tuya stared into the eyes of the lion head, seeing Gurgaldai lurking behind them. She was no lion, but, she did her best, as she always did. ¡°I claim her!¡±


    The tamers rushed forth, open-mouthed and angry, ready to bludgeon her with their clubs and fists. Chimaera stomped upon the sands, and the tamers stalled, kneeling to their Ezen. His thought pushed out far and wide, touching every mind upon the beach and beyond into the Hollows. TEST THE POWER OF MY CHOSEN! TAKE HER CLAIM FROM HER IF YOU CAN!


    The horde remained bent, unworthy eyes down upon the sands. One tamer came forward. One Tuya knew well and wished had been among those killed by the farawaylanders. One who sought to dominate her, to claim her for himself ever since he first saw her. Makhun stepped beside Chimaera and sneered at Tuya, that same sneer that came before Sarnai¡¯s breaking, before he stomped on little Khula, before so much cruelty over the seasons. This man had been a boulder crushing her for many, many seasons. Tuya glared back at him, determined to toss him into the evil water like the small, tiny pebble he was. ¡°I claim her,¡± she repeated, daring to meet the eye of the monster she hated most.


    Makhun came for her, his mind lashing out toward her like so many branches that whipped her so many times. She slapped it away with her strength, easy as a tamer slaps a helpless little girl, steps on her, and tells her she is worth less than the dirt she lies upon. His sneer turned down on his ugly head and his eyes bulged with fury that she dared defy him after all the lessons he taught her. His mind stormed toward her, the smoke of his consciousness billowing around her again and again. Tuya blew it away as easily as the wind blows out the tiny flames of a little fire.


    Makhun roared and came at her with everything he had, like a fly buzzing into the spider¡¯s web. Tuya lowered her walls and let him in. He plunged into her mind, a vengeful little boy with weak arms and tiny nails scratching at a great wall of the hardest rock Celegana ever created. Tuya wrapped around him, squeezing on his little mind like a little girl in the mud with his foot on her chest. He roared within the link, threatening her with pain, with killing every woman in the region, with making her suffer as he devoted his life to breaking her over and over again.


    For all his hatred, he was the tiniest of pebbles caught in the greatest of flowing waters. She strained his mind for every vulnerable thought hidden deep within, and drowned him in his worst memories. Makhun was a small, small boy being screamed at by his trainers in the Spire for failing to form links. They beat him, gave him to the bigger, stronger boys to be used as the target for their taming, for their anger, for their lust. He was the whiny ¡°khorota¡± that would do anything to please his master, searching desperately for a single scrap of sympathy or praise. Season after season of torment at the hands and minds of those bigger and stronger, endless physical and verbal humiliation, in their fierce competition for the approval of their elders. Makhun persisted, hating himself, hating his peers, hating his masters, hating everything.


    The first time Makhun overpowered the link of one of his tormentors he forced the bigger boy to mutilate himself until the masters whipped them both to the brink of death, let him recover, and beat him right back to the border of life, time after time. They pushed him until he could tame near every one of his former tormenters, sending him out into the Hollows only when he challenged his masters. Hate grew in him like a sickness that never healed, following him into the Hollows where the only time he felt alive was hurting others, making them feel small, inflicting upon others his misery.


    The more people admired a person, the more Makhun tried to make them hurt, tried to make them small, tried to make them feel like the little boy in the Spire, tamed, beaten, and raped. Underneath it all, the little boy remained, certain that no matter how many times he triumphed he would always be puny Makhun. He chose to torment Tuya because, deep down, he knew she was the strongest, the one who would not break, the one who continued to help others and be kind no matter how many times he tried to make her into him.


    Tuya drowned his mind with his worst fear, treating him like he was small, insignificant, meaningless, weak, pathetic. Makhun¡¯s water dripped down his legs and he begged her to stop.


    You did this, tamer. You did this.


    Tuya remembered the mercy he gave Sarnai, Khula, and every little girl he pleasured in dominating. She shoved Makhun¡¯s body to the sands, stepped on his stomach, and pushed down as hard as she could. Her mind strangling his, paralyzing his puny body as it stretched to its limits, close to snapping and breaking like a twig beneath her colossal might. One more push, and she could ruin his mind, leaving him lost in his own body without a thought of his own. She held him there, his incoherent pleas, his immense fear, flowing to her in his helplessness. The hateful part within her wanted him to be gone forever. To end him once and for all and bring a close to the pain he created in this world.


    She pushed down on his chest with her sandy foot, wanting to make sure he could never hurt her or another girl again. Perhaps it was pity for the poor child that was, in the beginning, just like every other. Perhaps it was a desire to prove she was truly better than him, that he could not make her the hateful creature he was. Perhaps it was that she no longer feared him. Perhaps, as is usually the case, it was all of the above.


    Tuya released his mind, and set her feet firmly back on Celegana¡¯s ground. She trembled with strength, like when Celegana shook the earth. ¡°You are nothing, Makhun, nothing but a scared little man who makes himself feel big by inflicting pain. You are the pebble and I am the rain washing you away. You will leave the Hollows and never return.¡± Tuya turned her back to the insignificant creature drenched in his own water, trembling and sobbing in the sand like so many of his victims. She reached out her hand to Captain Yaha of the Sixty-Four.


    The dark woman staggered to her feet and took Tuya¡¯s hand. Tuya refused to look at Chimaera or the tamers on the beach, along the hill, and into the Hollows. For once, her eyes were held high, refusing to acknowledge those she would never submit to again.

 Chapter Twelve: Words

    While Tuya intended to never submit again, to never be at the whims of any tamer the way Makhun, Zalmug, and so many others had determined the flow of her life, she knew they would claim any opportunity they could to push her down and make her small again. She took Yaha to the dark place, seeking to retreat into a protective shell, much like the tortoises that sometimes found their way in her sanctuary. Within this shell, she would grow strong and emerge ready to make pain smaller for those still at the mercy of tamers.


    At least that was a better story than admitting you were terrified of Gurgaldai, of Chimaera, of the vast horde of tamers who despised her, of needing to be ever vigilant, and, worst of all, of failure. Tuya sensed many fears flowing through Yaha¡¯s mind, like water overflowing a weird rock and dripping through all the cracks at once. Captain Yaha¡¯s eyes were those of so many women in the Hollows, staring ahead but seeing only dread. Still, she followed Tuya into the dark.


    Tuya¡¯s eyes lit the place, beaming brightness to the corners of her periphery, illuminating the discarded hide bundle of food and numbroot blessings, left behind the day Sarnai died. Tuya knelt over them feeling Sarnai¡¯s pain, her own pain, bite like the teeth of a chimaera. She clenched the hides and thought of the hands that made them, of the smile that carried her through many seasons, of the beloved face ruined by her own hands.


    I beat him, Sarnai. I destroyed Makhun. Tuya gripped the hides, searching for peace, and finding only the hollowness left behind where her love for Sarnai once resided. She stifled a sob and covered her eyes, leaving her and Yaha in the darkness, wishing that Sarnai¡¯s light still lit this world.


    Tuya wiped away the evil water. She could not undo the past, no matter how much she wished she resisted Makhun then, no matter how much she wished Sarnai were here with her, going down to the place she always wanted to see. Tuya lifted the bundle of hides and clutched them to her chest. I will bring you with me, Sarnai. I will be strong and I will be the best paintaker I can be.


    Tuya wound through the dark place, her eyes scattering the bugs and leading Yaha into her world. The silent farawaylander followed, grim as every other farawaylander brought into the Hollows. Season after season of watching those women wither and die poisoned Tuya¡¯s hope. Could she take away enough of this woman¡¯s pain? Could she give her strength and life, like she was one of the numbroot on the far side of the dark place? Or, would she soon be clutching to Yaha¡¯s not-hides, missing the woman inside of them, swelling with sorrow and the memory of yet another failure? Tuya tried to cling to hope and wear it as the warmest hide, yet life left her cold and taught her to expect the worst for that was what she would forever get.


    Tuya led Captain Yaha to the little flowing water running through the center of her dark place and found her firemakers. If she could make something warm and bright for Yaha, maybe that would heat the cold, dark places in her mind. She started the long process, determined to make her pain even the tiniest bit smaller, determined to let her know that one person in this world cared, knowing that what Tuya wanted most of all were those exact same things. Thus, Tuya arranged the firemakers and began furiously scraping little branches together. Her arms grew tired, so long deprived of food and exercise. She sighed, head down, trying not to cry, trying not to give up. Celegana, why must life be so hard?


    ¡°Let me show you,¡± Yaha said, stepping between Tuya and the firemakers. Then, Yaha did something no less impressive than soaring into the air like a great wingless bird. From within her not-hides, the tall woman removed a dark, lustrous rock and a hard, shiny weird rock. Captain Yaha of the Sixty-Four made magic, sparking a fire with a single strike of these two rocks, and blowing upon the firemakers. Faster than Tuya could believe, the fire¡¯s heat and glow pushed away the darkness and dampness of the dark place.


    ¡°How do you do this? This magic?¡± Tuya stammered.


    Yaha chuckled, her fear and sorrow dimming as the light and heat expanded. ¡°There are many magic things in this world beyond the Celegan Hollows. I will teach you these things, Tuya.¡±


    Tuya wrapped around the fire, watching Yaha put the two rock things back in her not-hides. Impossible. They just disappear.


    Yaha pointed at the magic place where the things hid. ¡°Khalaas.¡±


    ¡°Khalaas?¡±


    Yaha nodded. ¡°You put things inside them and your khuvtsas keeps them safe with you.¡±


    ¡°Khuvtsas?¡±


    Yaha¡¯s eyes widened. She took a deep breath and ground her teeth, her mind searching for a way to explain things. ¡°Things you wear.¡±


    Tuya extended her fingers toward the khalaas. ¡°Can I?¡±


    ¡°Please do.¡±


    Tuya reached into Yaha¡¯s khalaas, afraid of what she might find, like sticking your hand in a bush and reaching for berries but knowing there might be nasty thorns ready to rip at your skin. She touched the shiny weird rock firemaker and recoiled, even though it was smooth and cool. Khalaas. Tuya comprehended this magic, these pockets, hidden places within khuvtsas. She gestured to the not-hides. ¡°Khuvtsas. Your not-hides.¡±


    ¡°Yes. Not-hides. In other places, we use different plants to make things we wear so they are not all made from animal hide or fur. Khuvtsas.¡±


    Khuvtsas. Clothes. A feeling of wrongness welled within Tuya, the same she felt when she saw the dead trees Yaha rode to get over the evil water. ¡°Do the plants know their purpose is to become clothes?¡±


    Yaha laughed, her sorrow muting further. Tuya tried to touch her mind, to explore whether this was the laughter of a tamer looking down upon a khorota or the, in Tuya¡¯s experience, much less common humor of a khorota finding something unexpected and endearing, like how Tuya would feel watching the reaction of a little girl tasting her first sweet fruit. Tuya pressed her consciousness near Yaha¡¯s, sensing both feelings there, like light from the big lightmaker sneaking through two dark rainmakers.


    The fire crackled between them, roaring up, even as Tuya felt herself dwindling and a cold grow between her and this woman who thought her ways were better than Celegana¡¯s. Yaha confirmed what Tuya already sensed. ¡°You have much to learn, Tuya. I can teach you about many things that the Celegan Empire refuses to consider.¡±


    ¡°Abominations. Desecrations. Heathen things.¡±


    Yaha¡¯s humor vanished, retreating back within those dark clouds blocking the light from her sky. In its stead, emerged a new tide of irritation, flowing like evil water through her. Tuya folded her arms over her chest, hugging herself, dread welling within her as it turned out that even farawaylanders that seemed like they would protect you and care about you still tried to make you small.


    ¡°Where I come from,¡± Yaha said, explaining as if Tuya were the dumbest child ever to discover how to draw breath, ¡°we create things with the blessings of Celegana and we respect her natural order. We respect the power and gifts of each of the Thirteen and the Fourteenth too. We do not close ourselves off from all just to narrow our eyes upon one. Using Celegana¡¯s blessings, we create new things that allow us to live better lives, to do great things like riding our zavis over the tengis.¡±


    Tuya hugged herself tighter, and she clung to Celegana, the mother who gave her this dark place, who provided for all her children, who the farawaylanders defiled with their desecrations. She did not know some of the words Yaha used, and she did not want to know them, did not want to betray the Mother by learning about desecrations. She rejected Yaha as mother and knew not how to go forward with this person who saw defiling Celegana as good. Tuya retreated into the shell of silence. Yaha followed, poking sticks into the fire, prodding, probably trying to do more heathen magic, probably thinking of ways to trick Tuya away from the one who gave her what she needed to survive, who sheltered her and gave her blessings even when her sons hated her and tried to take them away.


    Tuya chose her true mother, got up from the fireside, and tended to the numbroots on the wall. Yaha followed, watching as Tuya listened to the deprived needs of the beautiful blessings Celegana gave her. They wanted strength, light, and love. Tuya reached out to them, touching them with Celegana¡¯s strength, with her love, beaming light from her eyes upon them, helping them become their best selves as they grew, undoing a season of wither alone in the dark without their strengthgiver. She felt right with herself, with mother, doing what she was meant to do, being who she was meant to be, not defiling the world with arrogance that she was better than Celegana. Yaha could keep her zavis and her tengis and her clothing with the pockets. Tuya had everything she needed.


    ¡°Amazing,¡± Yaha said, her awe flowing from her mind and filling the dark spaces between them.


    Tuya harbored her feeling of vindication, that Celegana received the praise and wonder she merited. Let this farawaylander know that one did not need to twist nature to do amazing, magical things. ¡°I listen to them and I give them strength to make them more of themselves. All we need is Celegana¡¯s blessings.¡±


    ¡°To make something more of itself, to change wither to growth, Celegana¡¯s blessings are truly amazing,¡± Yaha agreed. Tuya sensed the undertow to her words, anticipating and still surprised by what came next, ¡°and you make use of the blessings of Norali too. It is Norali¡¯s light that shines from your eyes and allows you to see in this place, to create light so that others may see, and to be your full self. To be both a wilder and a lightseer,¡± Yaha took in a deep breath, ¡°I doubt whether there has ever been another to wield both magics, especially with the strength you have in them. You are exceptional, Tuya.¡±


    You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.


    So, Yaha saw her as unlike any other. Tuya narrowed her eyes, sought out Yaha¡¯s mind, and felt her hunger for Tuya¡¯s power. She felt this before, sharing minds with Gurgaldai, as he delighted in what she could do. Tuya wondered what life would have awaited her if they returned to Yaha¡¯s beaches and jungles. Would Yaha have taken her away to use her for her own goals, or her Ezen¡¯s? Did she even care about Tuya or would she mutilate her far from her purpose just like the abominations her people made from the dead bodies of trees? Tuya realized then that no matter where she went, people would see her as unlike any other, and want to use her magic. As long as she was with others, she could never be free, and as long as she was alone, she could never feel cared for.


    Her stomach swirled with nausea. She dimmed her eyes until the only glow in the dark place came from Yaha¡¯s fire. Still, she needed answers and she needed somebody to care about her. She could not shell herself forever and she could not make Yaha¡¯s pain larger, if she ever wanted this woman to care about her. ¡°Who is this Norali you speak of?¡±


    Yaha grinned. ¡°A beautiful goddess just like Celegana, one from the land your mother was taken from, from Isihla, a land far to the omnod, past the Great Atmana Forest and the Heiyan Ovsurgamal, beyond the Asalahm, in the great sands of your ancestors. Norali is the light and the hope, the one who never gives up when it is dark, the one who never stops shining light to help others find their way. She is the one who blessed you with your eyes that can see in darkness, that can find the smallest details, that make visible all magic in this world, and shine a light wherever they go.¡±


    Tuya turned away from Yaha. Isihla. The land of the sands that Zaya told me about. She could not doubt Zaya and that meant this Norali must be real. She wept, silently, understanding that a second mother watched over her. Norali sounded like a good mother, one who gave her what she needed to endure, one who came to her when she needed a light in the darkness, and hope amidst a hopeless day. For seasons, it was this Norali that helped her hold onto hope even in the Hollows where hope was a rare thing. Tuya could find place in her soul for both of these mothers, she could accept this truth, and that meant that Yaha did have things to teach her, things she wanted to know, skills she needed to learn like soaring into the air and fighting tamers with the pointed stick things. Tuya wiped away her tears and turned her eyes back on, ready to give Yaha a chance, ready to learn, as long as what she learned respected both Celegana and Norali.


    Tuya pulled leaves from the numbroot, chewed some herself, and offered a handful to Yaha. The farawaylander woman raised her brow. ¡°You eat leaves?¡±


    Tuya pushed down her irritation. As she knew little of this woman¡¯s world, Yaha knew little of hers. It was time to learn of each other if they were going to emerge from this shell stronger. Tuya pointed toward her crotch. ¡°They stop blood and,¡± she grinned with the bitter taste overpowering her tongue, ¡°are delicious.¡±


    Yaha nodded, took the leaves, and chewed them as if she was afraid they were undercooked meat. Yaha cringed at the taste and Tuya tried to hide her glee at the woman pretending to enjoy their horrid taste. ¡°What else do you eat down here?¡±


    Tuya smiled. ¡°Nothing so good as numbroot leaf.¡±


    Yaha¡¯s eyes bulged and Tuya giggled, grabbing her pained stomach. ¡°Come,¡± Tuya said, guiding her to the good flowing water and telling her how to make use of Celegana¡¯s blessings. Yaha proved good at catching shrimp and fish, even without having the ability to sense where they were lurking and flowing through the good water while Tuya gave strength to and gathered mushrooms. Tuya felt good, watching the dream come true of having somebody help her and share in this place. Yaha made skewers and started roasting their finds while Tuya filled her big weird rock with water.


    She offered her small weird rock to Yaha. ¡°Put the good water in the weird rock and drink.¡±


    Yaha took the weird rock and said, ¡°Ayaga. This is ayaga.¡±


    ¡°Little weird rock,¡± Tuya said. ¡°For carrying good water.¡±


    Yaha spoke a few words in her own language, the one with those soft sounds.


    ¡°Can you teach me to speak like your people?¡±


    Yaha beamed. ¡°Yes, I speak many of the tongues. Your xhoomei Giidite, the nearly-as-harsh Volqori, my own Leverian, and the even more soft Kavovan. I would teach you all of these, Tuya, but first I would give you the words of your own people that they do not speak.¡± She pointed to the little weird rock, ¡°Ayaga. A thing to hold drink.¡±


    Ayaga. Tuya pointed to the little weird rock, internalizing the meaning of the word ayaga. ¡°Cup.¡±


    ¡°Yes,¡± Yaha smiled, ¡°these cups, these weird rocks and all things like them made of temurkhiitz were left behind in the Hollows when the Giidites ruled here. I will teach you the name of every one of these things.¡±


    Tuya nodded, eager to learn new ways of speaking. For so long, the farawaylanders in the Hollows went unheard. If Yaha could teach her how to speak to them, how to understand them and have them understand her, she could make their pain smaller. Yaha taught her more words as they roasted their skewers. The big weird rock was ¡°pot¡± and made from ¡°clay¡± and other pieces of earth into something called ¡°ceramic.¡± Tuya¡¯s mind hungered more for new words than her belly did for food and her skewer went uneaten as she asked more questions. Yaha begrudgingly answered each one as she fought for the space to take bites of their ¡°lunch,¡± a thing eaten in the middle of the day.


    Tuya still had most of her skewer, her hunger far from sated. ¡°What do you know of Isihla?¡±


    Yaha dipped her toes in the good flowing water and contentment oozed from her mind. ¡°You look like the people who live there and have their rarest gift. A woman is their narxatah and she and her daughters all have eyes like you, eyes of pure mongo like the odod in the sky.¡± Yaha twisted her neck to see Tuya sidling up beside her, putting her feet in the cool water. ¡°I met her once,¡± Yaha said, ¡°Kahinallah, daughter of Ishra. We talked about clothes.¡±


    Tuya giggled, partly for Yaha speaking with this woman about not-hides and for the new words to learn. ¡°Narxatah? Mongo? Odod?¡±


    Yaha pinched her cheek and a warmth flowed through Tuya as the woman taught her about the Sun Queens of Isihla, the color called silver, and stars, what they called the little lightmakers that came out when the big lightmaker, Sun, was asleep. This led to other conversations and new words to learn about the faraway lands until Tuya¡¯s mind was overflowing like a pot left in the flowing water. Finally, she set to eating her skewers and trying to remember everything while Yaha submerged herself into the flowing water.


    Tuya lost herself in her own head, until Yaha¡¯s sorrow intruded on her mind sense. The woman from the place called Caleel stood in the water, weeping quietly to herself, trying not to show Tuya her sadness. In that moment, Tuya¡¯s own thoughts and worries could have been as faraway as Caleel. In that moment, only one thing mattered. Her mind reached toward Yaha¡¯s, her care extended like a loving hand, I can make your pain smaller.


    ¡°No!¡± Yaha cried.


    Tuya knew that resistance, knew what it was like to fail everyone you loved and to want to feel as much pain as possible because otherwise it would feel like you never loved at all, that they never meant anything to you. Tuya grabbed Sarnai¡¯s hides and hugged them to herself, knowing that Tuya wanting to feel the pain never would have stopped Sarnai from trying to make it smaller. ¡°I bring you with me,¡± Tuya whispered to the hides, hoping that somewhere, somehow Sarnai could hear.


    Tuya reached her mind toward Yaha¡¯s again, that sorrow still flooding into her mind whether she tried to touch her or hide from the pain. I know you feel like you owe them your pain, Yaha. Trust me, I know what it is like to feel like you have failed everyone that matters to you. I cannot take away that feeling, but I can share it with you, I can hold you while you feel it, and let you know there is one person who cares.


    Yaha sobbed now, no longer the quiet, lonely pain she tried to hide away within herself in the dark. Her mind opened and Tuya entered into a realm of overwhelming sorrow and catastrophic loss. Olono, her life¡¯s mate, the man who swam to the bottom of the sea and gave Yaha her pearl¡ªthe shiny rock on a vine thing at her neck¡ªwould never swim beside her again, never brighten her day with his big, goofy laugh, never, never, never again. Her crew was dead, or worse, in the hands of the tamers, one person from each of the sixty-four tribes and each of them holding a dear part of her heart, their names, quirks, and lives all ended. All of them, brought here by her, by her need to discover something new, to broker some new alliance, to find someone with khorota magic that could heal the plague festering in the heart of the Mahagan jungle, brought to their dooms because Captain Yaha¡¯s ambition was not satisfied with being captain of the Sixty-Four, by her need to replace the hole within her that told her that with no child and no legendary deed, her life would be meaningless.


    Now, Yaha was a sailor without a ship, a captain without a crew, a lover without her life¡¯s mate, and a Mahagan without the shores of Caleel. Lost in the darkness and surrounded by tamers who wanted to break her, rape her, and throw her into the Endless Blue after they extracted every drop of life out of her.


    Tuya could not take away her pain, this very real reminder of all Yaha had lost and her responsibility in losing everything that mattered to her. Tuya slid into the water and stood beside Yaha, putting her arm around her, searching for the perfect words but not knowing them. Any reassurance she offered would have been as hollow as the trees above them, Tuya could make no promises of an easy life, or even of ever feeling peace with the losses of today. After all, she brought Sarnai with her, and little Khula, and still could not forgive herself, only do her best to keep going.


    She held Yaha and sobbed beside her for all she had lost and could never undo or get back. Their shadows danced, intertwined, flaring and fizzling with the flames at their back. Yaha twisted and embraced Tuya, clinging to the one thing they both found this day of loss. Through the link came Tuya¡¯s belief that Yaha would go on, that she would carry Olono and all the others with her, that she would do her best, that she would jump high and soar far, that she would help Tuya become who she was meant to be. Yaha¡¯s heart answered, wanting to go on for this girl unlike any other, wanting to teach her every word there ever was and how to fight for what was right in this world, wanting to believe that she still had a purpose even when it felt like everything was gone and the last thing that remained was to die in this horrible place, a forgotten footnote in the world¡¯s song.


    Words were such weird things. You could not touch them, but you could feel them. ¡°I believe in you, Yaha,¡± Tuya said. ¡°Lover of Olono, Captain of the Sixty-Four, Child of Caleel. Friend of Tuya. I will be here to remind you that you are not gone.¡±


    Yaha tightened her grip on Tuya and kissed the top of her head. Her thoughts flowed, witnessing Tuya, this small girl full of love and hope despite being grown in a garden of hate and despair. She spoke the words she felt. ¡°And I will believe in you, Tuya, child of the Hollows, lost daughter of the sands of Isihla. Even when you feel like you are not good enough, or that you have failed, I will be here to remind you that you did not fail me and that you are as good as they come. I may hurt, but I promise I will never give up on you.¡±


    Tuya buried her head into Yaha¡¯s chest, grateful that she was not alone anymore, grateful that her pain was smaller. Yaha¡¯s pain did not vanish, but it grew smaller, shared within the link, touched by Tuya¡¯s love. She clung to Yaha, right now only needing this feeling.


    Yaha spoke the words anyway. ¡°If you want to know every word, I will give you every one I have. If you want to learn the way of the spear, I am here to teach you. If you yearn for stories of the world beyond the Hollows, I will share all of mine. If all you want is somebody who cares,¡± Yaha released a choked sob, ¡°I already do.¡±

 Chapter Thirteen: Summer

    The next season, one Yaha named summer, was the greatest of Tuya¡¯s young life. Of course, all the prior seasons were about as good as a thorn bush with berries hidden deep beyond the barbs. This season, this summer, the thorns seemed smaller, their bite softer, and the berries riper and sweeter than ever before.


    Beneath the smoldering heat in the Hollows, Tuya crafted fires the farawaylander way, scraping metals against special stones, and with that fire she learned how to burn and sharpen the ends of branches. Every morning, Yaha instructed her in the ways of the spear down in the hidden grotto where they slept and gathered Celegana¡¯s blessings aplenty. Now, she could capture snakes and slippery fish that used to evade her bare hands with precise thrusts of these pointed sticks. Her senses converged, her silver eyes seeing and anticipating, her strong mind sense granting insight, such that she could predict where they would be rather than chasing them where they were. Yaha refused to give her too much credit for this skill with her words, but Tuya could sense her amazement.


    Even when Tuya preempted Yaha in sparring, there was always some point to be made about how her feet were in the wrong place or how the way she used her hands made her thrust ineffective. These blows struck true, piercing Tuya¡¯s confidence and hitting her hard in her dreams. Yaha explained that Tuya would never get Zafrir¡¯s blessing, not being a child of the Mahogany Isles, she would never soar through the air as a Windjumper like Yaha and her women, blessed by the pearl necklace of their spearmate. Still, Tuya wanted to defend herself, and even that dream seemed unobtainable.


    The techniques and stances of a Mahagan Spear were incomprehensible and even linking with Yaha did not make them feel natural. Her feet stumbled through the motions and her hands fumbled on the different grips. Yaha struggled to conceal her frustration with the slow crawl of progress where it seemed that for every day Tuya made gains, she had two days of stagnation, and three days of regression. This continued many days, Yaha¡¯s words growing sharper and Tuya¡¯s discouragement spreading to the point that she hated holding the spear and thought she would never be good enough to fight a tamer. Each day brought her closer to throwing it away and giving in.


    Then, one morning when Tuya felt particularly downhearted, Yaha told her to put down the spear and asked her to link with her. They examined not what Tuya was doing wrong, but why it was hard for her. Instead of criticizing mistakes they tried to understand them and make sense of what made it so difficult for her, despite her intuition, despite Yaha calling her the ¡°sponge¡± when it came to learning words. Yaha reminded herself that the children of the Mahogany Isles were taught from a young age how to stand, how to believe in themselves, and to not back down, whereas Tuya was taught to surrender, to submit, to shrink, and make herself small. Mahagan girls wielded branches and practiced swinging them almost as soon as they could walk while Tuya hid and cowered from branches. Her body memorized these motions, using them to make her pain smaller. Tuya was not struggling to learn something new, she was struggling to unlearn something so old that it had kept her alive since before she could remember.


    From then on, Yaha changed the approach. Tuya practiced her stances while standing near tamers, retraining her body¡¯s earliest lessons, she was praised for what she excelled at naturally, and encouraged and reassured through the struggles. Yaha called her the ¡°uncut diamond,¡± a beautiful thing full of potential that needed to be slowly and carefully shaped to forge it into the masterwork it could be. Her body took shape and the workings of her muscles, of her feet and hands, soon flowed more smoothly and naturally through the stances and techniques. Mornings became one of her favorite times of the day for the first time in her life. Tuya felt powerful, capable, strong in her body. She was not large, but no longer did she feel small.


    While the summer heat scorched the Hollows, Tuya and Yaha descended into their cool grotto where her mind grew and grew alongside her body. She learned words and language, absorbing meanings through linking with Yaha¡¯s mind, insatiable to know more and pushing Yaha nightly until the woman finally told her enough. After Yaha took to sleep, Tuya continued reciting words, having conversations with herself, testing words in both her native language and Leverian, the language of Yaha¡¯s people. No matter how much she practiced, her tongue and throat refused to make the musical sounds of Yaha¡¯s softer language. Yaha chuckled at Tuya¡¯s guttural accent, at her inability to stop speaking with her throat. Once, Yaha compared Tuya¡¯s efforts at speaking Leverian with the wails of the empagong, a massive turtle guardian of the Mahogany Isles. From then on, Tuya refused to speak Leverian where Yaha could hear.


    Alas, the only thing that could rival Tuya¡¯s stubbornness was Yaha¡¯s. ¡°Speak, Tuya,¡± Yaha said, during their nightly practice.


    Tuya shook her head, breaking their link. She was done letting people make condescending remarks, having spent her whole life listening to tamers call her stupid, worthless, small, and every other mean thing. She folded her arms over her chest and looked away. She would not give this woman what she needed to make her feel small.


    Sighing, Yaha sidled beside her and put her arm around her back. ¡°Is this about the empagong?¡±


    Tuya said nothing, seething annoyance, sliding away from Yaha until the woman¡¯s arm fell off her. You would think comparing somebody¡¯s speech with a wailing tortoise might make them not want to talk to you.


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    Yaha¡¯s voice was far softer than Tuya¡¯s thoughts. ¡°The empagong are our most sacred protector. They are beautiful, strong, caring, and we consider ourselves blessed to hear their discordant song. We love them, Tuya.¡± She squeezed Tuya¡¯s shoulder and twisted around her until their eyes met. Tuya looked down, but Yaha did not look down at her. ¡°I could not think of a better comparison for you. So please, speak to me. I love hearing your words, my little empagong.¡±


    Tuya looked up, used her mind sense, and knew this was no joke to Yaha. ¡°I am your little empagong?¡±


    Yaha smiled. ¡°You are.¡±


    Thus, Tuya spoke, no longer focusing so much on whether she blended the throat noises of the Gidiite-Celegan language with the Leverian tongue. The words opened her to a new world of ideas. Her ideas grew with the stories Yaha shared of faraway lands, freeing her mind to grow beyond the confines of the reality the tamers beat into her.


    The faraway ideas that once seemed antithetical to her existence as a child of Celegana became less foreign, less repulsive. Her mind opened as she listened to stories of the Fourteenth, a disciple of Divine Leverith who used magic and kindness to spread love to her own warring people in the Leverian Kingdom, to the sixty-four warring clans of the Mahogany Isles, and even, long, long, long ago to the tamers and khorota of the Hollows who once lived in harmony and balance.


    Yes, in the distant past, khorota, those who free the wild, or, in Yaha¡¯s more loving language, wilders, lived in equality with the tamers. Not only were these lost stories of her people the key that unlocked her mind, but the stories of other people helped her learn that life could be lived many different ways, and that the tamer way was not the one true way of life, nor was it with the mandate of Celegana. Yaha taught her that Celegan society was a monster created of the most brutal parts of the Hollows of Celegana and the merciless might of their Gidiite conquerors. Yaha freed her from the belief that Celegana wanted this cruel life for her, that, deep down, this was the way life was supposed to be. Truth broke through, like a rainbow after years of rain, spilling vibrant light where once everything was one miserable color. Mother Celegana did not want this; she did not approve of the tamers dominating the wilders, did not approve of their need to conquer faraway lands. She did not.


    For all her seasons, tamer society shaped her mind to see things their way and tricked her into thinking this was the will of Celegana. The tamers told her that the sky must be red and she must believe that or be stupid, wrong, or evil. She had tricked herself too by pointing up at the sky at dawn and dusk, when red splashed upon the horizon, and declared, ¡°The sky is red,¡± while everyone around her said, ¡°Of course the sky is red, stupid khorota!¡±


    Tuya rejected the lies. No more would she squint her eyes, narrow her vision, and see only that which the tamers put in front of her, in the singular angle they wanted her to see, and accept it as the one true way of seeing things. Tuya opened her eyes and studied what she saw from every angle. Yes, the sky could be red at times, it could be orange, purple, black, white, gray, and many other colors too, but most often it was blue.


    Tuya and Yaha spent their days under skies of blue, where the big lightmaker, Sun, shimmered bright and bathed the Hollows in burning light. At first, the tamers made threats, tried to keep their claims away from Tuya, and poisoned her reputation by calling her the evil khorota accursed by Celegana while Yaha was a farawaylander demon that worshipped the evil water goddess and rode upon desecrations. The women and little girls in the region hid from them, pretended Tuya and Yaha were invisible when they came with blessings.


    The shadows of the past chased Tuya in this time, threatening to swallow her hope and bring her back to the wasting wretch she was the season before. If not for two things, she may have stayed within her shell and remained ever in the dark place. The first came the day Tuya found a little girl, Masarga, in great pain from a beating. The girl was feverish, vomiting what meagre stores her tiny belly kept, bruises covering her body and making every movement a punishment.


    Tuya knelt at Masarga¡¯s side, rubbed her head, just like Zaya used to do. ¡°Let me make your pain smaller.¡±


    Masarga coughed, gripped her side, winced, and cried out. Clenching her teeth, she whimpered, and gave the barest of nods. Tuya smiled at her and tended to her pains. Paintaker made her pain smaller, numbroot root dulled it further and brought down her fever, various other herbs tended her hurts, soothing her bruising, opening her airways, and ointment from the numbroot stems sealed her cuts. Masarga fell asleep with her head in Tuya¡¯s lap, Tuya¡¯s hand stroking her hair as she touched her with her strength. You are loved, little Masarga. You are strong. You are safe.


    For the first time since the day Sarnai died, Tuya felt like a paintaker.


    The tamers still tried to take that away from her. Tamer Bhalu strode toward them with a big log. ¡°Any who are touched by the evil khorota must die!¡±


    This day came before Tuya understood what it meant to stand tall, before she began to change those memories of what her body must do when tamers were angry. She shrank away from big Bhalu and his log, countless memories of what it felt like to be hit, what if felt like to watch as another was hit because of you, of Khula, Sarnai, and Zaya, and all the others she failed before, holding her frozen despite the heat. Soon, Masarga¡¯s name would be among them.


    Yaha shared none of these memories, none of these restraints. Bhalu found a pointed stick protruding through his gut. Yaha pushed him to the ground, and pulled the spear out of his back. ¡°Any who harm khorota will die!¡± She drove the point of her spear through Bhalu¡¯s neck.


    Like farawaylander magic, few women carried bruises beyond that day while many accepted offerings of food and numbroot leaf. Yes, the tamers remained cruel creatures that seemed to exist for the purpose of inflicting pain on the khorota. They made threats, they shouted and criticized, they restricted what they gave to the women, they came in the night and put their seed in their wombs, they tried to make the other women fear Tuya. All of them continued on, finding new ways to inflict pain or to hide their malice from Tuya and Yaha. All of them, save for one.


    The second change that left Tuya above her sanctuary arrived in the middle of the season on a windy day that blew new air into her life. Of all the berries that ripened on the thorn bush of this summer, Tamer Darrakh was the one that Tuya most wanted to harvest.

 Chapter Fourteen: Fire

    Autumn changed the Hollows from a place of green and brown to a place of many colors. In this season where the world died slowly, Tuya felt a new world gaining life within her. She sat near the meadow, enjoying the view while she scraped a dried wolf hide to stock furs for the coming winter.


    Yaha nudged her. ¡°Come on, Tuya. Let¡¯s get this done.¡±


    Tuya did not register Yaha¡¯s pestering, and it was not because she spoke in Leverian. Her focus drifted, like the scent of fallen leaves on the breeze. Tamer Darrakh attempted to tame a fire, rubbing dead tinder together the Celegan way. Last night¡¯s rains left the logs and the kindling damp, dooming his efforts. For all that, he did not scream, did not descend into a frenzied rage, did not throw logs at the nearest girl. Tuya sensed his frustrations with her mind, but saw his control with her eyes.


    Darrakh was beautiful. Perhaps he would not have been so had Tuya not desired to see him that way. Yaha certainly did not. She followed Tuya¡¯s gaze and delivered another nudge. ¡°The hides, Tuya.¡±


    ¡°My fingers need rest.¡±


    Yaha gave her a scathing side-eyed stare. ¡°Uh-huh.¡±


    Darrakh reminded her of the sun shining on warm sands, of a home she had never been to. His skin was the same light brown as hers, marking him as another lost child of the sands of distant Isihla. Tuya liked to dream of him being like her, pulled away from the place where they belonged and transplanted into this land where the trees had holes. This boy, barely into manhood, did not just remind her of a home she had never known; he did not remind her of the hell she had known.


    Perfectly average was Darrakh the tamer in nearly every sense of the word. He was slightly taller than Tuya, though Tuya would never be some towering woman like Yaha or Zaya. He was fit enough that his body declared that he was not the indolent tamer who made khorota do everything for him, though he was not so strong that his mere presence sent tendrils of fear down her spine. His body told the story Tuya wanted to hear; this man was unlike Gurgaldai or Makhun, unlike the other tamers who hit women or launched into harangues of hatred at the slightest frustration. His silent brooding over his failed fire ignited desire within Tuya¡¯s very core. Every other tamer she knew would have thrown the wet sticks to the ground and beaten the nearest khorota halfway to death. Instead, he set his sticks down, sighed, and did the thing Tuya most liked about him.


    He lifted his head, twisted his neck, and scanned with his eyes until he found Tuya. His lips curled into a smile, the same bashful smile that graced her face. For a couple very rapid heartbeats, they held this gaze, Tuya feeling things in her body that made her want to hold this moment in time, to close the distance between them, to sit beside him, holding his hand. Alas, their eyes darted away, scurrying like scared girls beneath the gaze of a cruel tamer. Now, they entered into the unspoken agreement to watch each other from the corners of their eyes, those little, secret smiles still there, shining upon their faces like sunlight on warm sands.


    Feelings of warmth reverberated through Tuya, tickling her belly. Her shiny eyes made out every beloved detail. Eyes green like the leaves in summer, plump lips made for smiling, his smile lifting his already high cheekbones. The other tamers mocked his wispy whiskers, but Tuya thought they were cute. Yaha gagged at his dark, messy hair, but she liked her men shaved. Tuya adored his wild, untamed mane.


    She halfheartedly scraped at the bear hide with her stone and contemplated if she should take Yaha¡¯s flint and steel and spark the fire for Darrakh. Her imagination ran away with the cascade of events that would follow from saying nice words to snuggling by the fire to running away from the Hollows with him.


    ¡°It could never be,¡± Yaha said, as if she was the one that could sense minds.


    This. Again. Tuya knew. She knew like she knew that the pretty sky would turn dark, that clouds would cover the sun and rain would fall. But knowing and feeling were not the same. It felt like it would always be sunny and always be light. Tuya knew that every tamer saw her as property to be claimed the moment her first blood fell. Tuya felt that Darrakh was different, and if farawaylanders could be different, why not tamers too?


    ¡°Things will be different for you when we leave the Hollows,¡± Yaha said. ¡°You will love and be loved in return. I promise you that.¡±


    ¡°My feelings are like a fire burning hot,¡± Tuya said. ¡°I cannot cool them down.¡±


    Yaha set down her scraping stone and tossed her arm over Tuya¡¯s back. ¡°Come here.¡± Tuya pulled herself to Yaha, resting her head on the bigger woman¡¯s shoulder. ¡°The fiercest fires fade the fastest, my beautiful empagong, but they also leave behind the worst scars if you touch them. All you must do is stop tossing more fuel into the flames and they will burn themselves out.¡±


    Tuya recognized wisdom in Yaha¡¯s words, but did not want to acknowledge that which she did not want to believe. In her fantasies, the fire burnt steady and it left behind no scars. She sidled away from Yaha and resumed work on her hide. Yaha sighed and scraped at her hide, muttering something in neither Leverian nor Gidiite.


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    Tuya stole a glance at Darrakh, as much out of rebellion as out of desire, and found his stream of consciousness flowing toward the Spire. Like all else about him, his taming power too was average. It was not uncommon for tamers to seek the Spire with their minds, but Tuya wondered why Darrakh would do so. The temptation to try to intrude on his link churned her gut, but she quelled it.


    ¡°I could tell you many stories about forbidden love forged in the fires of youthful yearning,¡± Yaha said.


    Tuya snorted. ¡°I could tell you about how stories can be lies told by the old to tame the minds of the young, or, if you would prefer, I could tell you about how just because one thing happened one way, one time, in one place, it does not happen that way every time in every place.¡±


    Yaha sputtered for a few moments, her irritation loud in Tuya¡¯s mind. A smug smile crested upon Tuya¡¯s face, like a great bird returning home to its nest. Yaha turned away from Tuya, scraping furiously away at her hide. ¡°I recognize when the wisdom of elders only radicalizes the imprudence of youth. I will speak no more on this, but believe me when I say that when this burns you, I will be there to rub the ointment onto your wounds, and I will be sure to remind you who it was that fanned these foolish flames.¡±


    ¡°Imprudence?¡±


    ¡°Bah! Figure it out yourself if you are so wise, Tuya of the Hollows!¡±


    For a long while, the two women worked on their hides in silence, even though Tuya¡¯s mind was awhirl with noise. An idea implanted within Tuya and she nursed it with hopefulness and desire. The answer to their biggest question was the solution to her greatest desire. Tuya needed both to be true and thus the idea grew and grew until her excitement could not be contained.


    ¡°Tamer Darrakh might be exactly what we need to escape.¡±


    Yaha¡¯s head shot up from her work, but she kept her eyes away from Tuya. ¡°Bring your mind to me.¡±


    Tuya linked with Yaha. The Mahagan woman¡¯s curiosity was a pearl resting at the bottom of a sea of skepticism. Tuya dove for the pearl, hoping she could hold her breath long enough to reach the bottom and not drown beneath the weight of Yaha¡¯s doubt. If they think we leave or if they cannot find us, Gurgaldai will be alerted, and the entire Hollows will hunt us. If one of their own escorts us, they will not seek us.


    It would be imprudent to trust any of these cretins, Yaha projected.


    Tuya assimilated the meaning of this new word as it assassinated her idea in its infancy. Bitterness swelled in her chest and she severed the link. ¡°You refuse to listen to me. It is always me that must change my mind.¡± She crossed her arms and turned away from Yaha, wanting to scream at her for being so closed. It was always Tuya who had to be openminded, had to listen to what Yaha said, had to explore different ways of seeing, had to move to meet Yaha. For once, she wanted the woman to move toward her, to explore a new way of seeing, to listen to her, to open her mind.


    Darrakh sat by the failed fire, his mind returning to him, and Tuya wanted to go to him, to be with somebody who might actually listen to what she had to say and not treat her like a stupid khorota. Divine Seraxa of the flames! She burned with rage and she burned with want.


    Tuya launched to her feet, feeling no more fear. Yaha gripped her hand. ¡°Please, my little empagong. Sing your song. I will listen. I will hold my judgment until I hear the whole plan.¡±


    Tuya dared not link with Yaha and feel her skepticism. She spoke in quiet whispers, even though she doubted any tamer understood Yaha¡¯s language. ¡°Numbroot will not stall my first blood forever. When it comes, the tamers will fight for my claim. The winner will be the one responsible for delivering me to Gurgaldai. If they instead lead us away from the Spire, we could escape before Gurgaldai knows we are gone.¡±


    ¡°Or,¡± Yaha said, in judgment, ¡°we kill the tamers and then run before Gurgaldai knows you are gone.¡±


    Tuya sighed. ¡°Without a tamer to escort us, we would not make it through the next region without drawing attention. Even if the tamers did not recognize us, they would try to claim us as newcomers.¡±


    ¡°Then we can kill them too before they have a chance to signal Gurgaldai.¡±


    ¡°Even if we win every fight, we leave behind a trail of bodies. Eventually, we will miss a tamer and he will alert Gurgaldai. We need a tamer to work with us. We need Darrakh.¡±


    ¡°No, you want Darrakh.¡± She furiously scraped at her wolf hide. ¡°He is wolf in sheep¡¯s clothing, Tuya.¡±


    Tuya slid away from her. ¡°Is this how you withhold your judgment?¡±


    Yaha ground her teeth and exhaled her annoyance. ¡°So, the boy claims you, promises to take you the Ezen, and then he risks his life leading us away from the Hollows? This is your entire plan?¡±


    ¡°No,¡± Tuya said, something jumping up and down in her chest, burning in her gut. She gripped it to try to keep it still, this wild excitement. ¡°I get him to love me.¡±


    Yaha took in a deep breath, frowned at her calloused hands, and stared up at the sky. ¡°I cannot stop you from trying this, can I? Nothing I say will toss enough water over these flames you fan.¡±


    That was probably true. Tuya shook her head. This was a thing she would do with or without Yaha¡¯s blessing. At least this first step, this attempt to see whether Tamer Darrakh could love a girl like her.


    Yaha chuckled. ¡°That is what I thought.¡± She patted the top of Tuya¡¯s head. ¡°Well then, if you are set on claiming that boy¡¯s heart, I daresay he is as hopeless to stop you as I am. I only hope, my little empagong, that whatever love a tamer is capable of feeling can be greater than the grip of their Ezen, otherwise you will feed us both to the flames.¡±

 Chapter Fifteen: Neverborn

    Tuya tried to breath, like Zaya taught her so long ago, hoping to bring peace to the conflict within her body and her mind. Visions of holding Darrakh¡¯s hand and walking on the sands of Isihla clashed with the future Yaha foresaw where this man betrayed her to Gurgaldai. Was this man like every other tamer, but merely disguised beneath a fa?ade meant to lull her well-honed defenses into clumsiness or was he the one that could help her fly away to the faraway lands and be free, be loved?


    These forces pushed and pulled her, leaving her rooted where she was, stuck on the ground near the meadow where tamers claimed khorota during their first blood. Beside her, Yaha pulsed with nerves, and Tuya knew she wanted her to stay there, to never speak with this man who might be salvation or destruction. The tension pulled her taut, and she felt close to snapping under the pushes and pulls of her split mind.


    She shook like a little branch in the great gusting winds of the season of slow death, trying to be of one mind rather than two as the turbulence within her tossed her around. Dreaming of this thing, of this love, was different than actually seizing it. Then, like a sudden downpour, she thought of Gurgaldai. He left her here, with Yaha, in the Hollows, free to do what she wanted as long as she did not try to flee. Though he had been absent, he did not forget her. This boy unlike any other who craved her love like any other.


    Tuya could not see far enough into the future to know what would happen if Gurgaldai discovered she gave her love to another man, but she did not need perfect foresight to know that whatever came would be an ugly sight indeed. Visions of Chimaera tearing apart the crew of the Sixty-Four, of Jhorgal or the old stones being pulverized by Aldar, of Darrakh being destroyed, and of Gurgaldai¡¯s anger finally turning upon her held Tuya to the ground. Imprudent was her feeling toward Darrakh and the foolish dream that this man who you could not hide from, could not run from, would allow the blooming of love between her and any other. In this moment, her ambivalence toward this boy who gave her more freedom than she ever had and bound her more tightly than any had, swung further in the winds of her anger, blowing away from love and closer to hate.


    Relief oozed from Yaha¡¯s mind, a weird sensation in the Hollows. The dark farawaylander returned to her hide as tension dispersed from her mind. Tuya exhaled, shook her head, and silently set back to her hide work. She tried to drive Gurgaldai from her mind, to think about him as little as he seemed to think about her, to imagine a future where she was not bound to him, but free to live her life, sharing her heart and her pain with people she chose rather than the beautiful monster that chose her. Scraping away at the wolf hide did not rid Gurgaldai from her thoughts.


    A ululating shriek could though.


    Yaha seized her spear and leapt toward the distress, ready to enforce her promise to kill those who hurt women. Tuya clambered to her feet and lagged behind her, thoughts of Gurgaldai retreating behind the urge to protect and help whoever was in pain. She ran through the region, past hollows hiding girls with downcast eyes and terrified hearts, scraping away at hides and hoping to do whatever they could to keep the tamer¡¯s anger far from them.


    A group of tamers gathered around a golden-skinned woman crumpled in an expanding pool of blood clutching her swollen belly. Tuya recognized the woman. She had arrived last season already starting to swell with seed, rejected any of Tuya¡¯s help, and never spoke. She spoke now, loud and with incomprehensible words, her ululating cries piercing Tuya¡¯s heart like psychic spears. Semug, a stout tamer, stood over his Heiyan claim, shouting, ¡°You killed it!¡± He reared his foot for a gut kick, restraining his anger at the last moment as the point of Yaha¡¯s spear approached his throat.


    ¡°Touch her and die, tamer!¡± Yaha roared.


    The other tamers backed away from Yaha, trying not to cower and look small. Veins popped on Semug¡¯s thick neck as he glared at Yaha¡¯s spear point. ¡°She killed my seed!¡±


    Semug¡¯s words carried truth. The seed would be a neverborn. The blood, the incomplete size of the farawaylander¡¯s belly, her pained wails, all came together to tell the story of a dead seed, or one that would die soon after it left the womb. Never would it experience the love that made life worth living nor would it be subject to the hate, the pain, and the cruelty of life. Whether this fate was a mercy or a tragedy, Tuya knew not, only that it ripped her apart that she lived in a world where one had to question whether being born was a gift or a curse.


    Yaha pressed the point of the spear closer to Semug¡¯s throat, making the broad-shouldered beast flinch. ¡°You killed the baby! You are the one that hurts her, that overworks her, that yells at her, that refuses to feed her! This is on you, tamer! You and all the others like you!¡±


    Semug defended himself, redirecting blame downhill at the claimed Heiyan woman whimpering in pain beneath him. Yaha yelled louder, her rage boiling over Semug¡¯s and the woman¡¯s cries. In the midst of all this, Tuya heard neither Yaha nor Semug¡¯s anger, but only the pain experienced by the woman dying alone in a place far from home. She knelt down and tried to make the woman¡¯s pain smaller, tried to let her know that she was not alone, even if she was far from home.


    The woman shrieked and pushed Tuya¡¯s hand away when she tried to reach for her. Her words were like the rapid rush of the big flowing water, somehow turbulent yet also peaceful and smooth. Alas, there was no peace left in her. She flailed her arms, warding Tuya away from her, and sank her body into the ground to keep Tuya from lifting her.


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    Unable to make physical contact, Tuya did not give up. Her instinct pushed her to reach for the woman¡¯s consciousness, to give her love and strength. Yet, one cannot give what another is unwilling to receive. The Heiyan woman kept her mind closed, refusing Tuya.


    Please, let me make your pain smaller. Let me show you that somebody cares.


    The woman sealed her mind like an oyster, unwilling to share its pearls with anyone. She stopped shrieking, stopped crying, and clamped down on the ground, clinging to herself. Yet, the seed opened, its incomplete consciousness reaching for Tuya.


    Tuya went to the unborn, hoping to give her a few moments of love. The link was unlike any other she experienced before. The unborn¡¯s thoughts came through with as little clarity as the wailings of her mother, lacking the imagery or the language needed to convey ideas in ways that born people or creatures could. For all that, one did not need language or imagery to feel.


    The pain of being planted in a place that did not want you to grow, of knowing nothing but pain, not knowing why you were in pain, why you suffered, why it felt like the world was ending, flowed from the unborn into Tuya. This distress passed through the link like the entire ocean being filtered into the smallest cup, achieving a scale almost beyond comprehension.


    Think of the world ending, of everyone you loved dying, of losing your hopes and dreams, of suffering in torment as the end slowly consumed everything you ever valued. Now, imagine that level of distress being caused by stubbing your toe. Then, if you will, if you can, imagine how much it would hurt to die confused, alone, malnourished, unwanted, never having known anything except distress. Imagine how much that would hurt, if, by scale, the minor pain of stubbing your toe hurt as much as the end of the world.


    That was the intensity of the distress Tuya sensed within the unborn.


    The burden of sharing in that pain threatened to shatter Tuya¡¯s mind, like a cup trying to hold the ocean. She fell to her knees, dropped to her hands, and sobbed as nigh incomprehensible pain flowed into her, the pain of existing as this unborn, unloved, unwanted, deprived, dying soul. Tuya did not let go, for if she did, nobody else would make this pain smaller. She held to the undeveloped consciousness, determined to be one drop of love in the unborn¡¯s neverlife.


    Whatever comfort she could provide, she tried. She made the unborn¡¯s pain her own, sharing it so that it was not alone, carrying half the world was easier than carrying the whole damn thing. She sang, in her mind, words of comfort from across this cruel world. May you wander into the everlasting oasis and always find the light. Go with peace, little one. She projected images of the unborn¡¯s tiny fingers grasping hers, of being held in Tuya¡¯s loving arms, of being rocked and sung to in the language of Divine Leverith of love and dreams, of telling her over and over. I am with you. I accept you. I love you.


    The unborn latched onto her, clinging like those tiny fingers in Tuya¡¯s mind. The mother¡¯s cries subsided, the vast ocean of pain grew smaller, bit by bit, until the love permeating the link grew larger than the distress. Tuya held on, ensuring that the neverborn was not a neverloved. Tuya held on, until, at last, the neverborn let go of Tuya¡¯s finger and her consciousness faded from the world.


    Sobbing, she staggered to her feet and wiped at her running eyes and nose. She felt weak, so unfathomably tired, and just wanted to retreat into the dark place and rest for days. The neverborn¡¯s mother bled on the ground. Yaha held the spear tip against Semug¡¯s throat. None of it seemed to matter anymore, Tuya¡¯s ability to feel crippled as it was. ¡°It is over,¡± she said, ¡°the seed is no more.¡±


    Semug gnashed his teeth, pointed at the mother, ¡°She killed the seed. Celegana demands she return to the ground for her heresy.¡±


    Yaha pressed the spear closer to Semug¡¯s throat, drops of blood gathering on the tip. ¡°I ought to¡ª


    Tuya placed her hand on Yaha¡¯s arm. ¡°There is enough pain already.¡± She met Semug¡¯s glare, sensing his sorrow being converted into tamer rage. ¡°It is okay to mourn for the seed you lost, Semug.¡±


    He snarled. ¡°The evil must be punished.¡± He pointed again at the woman crumpled on the ground, limp and slowly bleeding away her life.


    ¡°Witness the blood on the ground, Brother Semug,¡± another tamer said. ¡°The Reaper has claimed her already.¡± Darrakh emerged from the tamers crowded around them.


    Semug growled at the dying woman. ¡°Too weak to carry my mighty seed. May she die slowly for her failure.¡± He backed away and Yaha let him go. Soon, the tamers dispersed, going about their days as though nothing transpired. Only Darrakh remained beside Tuya and Yaha as the golden-skinned woman¡¯s color bled to a wan yellow and more blood pooled beneath her. The farawaylander muttered in her strange language, her eyes gazing someplace faraway from here.


    Yaha stormed away, leaping inhumanly high and screaming as she fled away from this memory.


    ¡°Can you help her?¡± Darrakh asked, his voice too quiet and soft for a tamer.


    Tuya¡¯s chest ached. It was hard to let the words out. ¡°She does not want my help. She chooses to die.¡±


    ¡°Then there is only one way to end her suffering.¡± He met Tuya¡¯s eyes, the sad twinkle she saw shattered her doubts that this man was secretly like the others. ¡°I will do this for you, Tuya.¡±


    A feeling broke through her crippling exhaustion. Gratitude.


    Darrakh returned from his hollow with one of the Mahagan spear tips, the main shaft shattered and leaving behind a jagged handle. He knelt beside the slowly dying woman. She looked right through him, mumbling her final words. Darrakh drove the spear point through her heart and buried it deep, applying force until the woman¡¯s consciousness disappeared.


    ¡°Return to the Goddess,¡± Darrakh whispered, tears misting the edge of his eyes as he closed hers.


    Tuya watched him, silent, as he breathed out, retrieved the broken spear, and retreated into his hollow without another glance. She retreated too, into the dark place, drained of all desires and unsure of when she would be ready to emerge back into this wicked world.

 Chapter Sixteen: Mother

    Tuya lived without feeling for many days after making the neverborn¡¯s pain smaller. She stayed in the dark place, moving little, wanting nothing but sleep, caring only enough to eat the food Yaha made for her. For a few days, Yaha covered her in furs, brought meals, filled her cup with good water, and was patient. Then came the days where she pressured Tuya to move again, to make her own food, to do her spear exercises, to get out of the dark place and back on the surface, to tend plants, to free tamed, even just to link with Yaha and learn more words.


    Tuya wanted none of it. Was it too much to ask for some rest after experiencing such devastation? Yaha thought so. You need to move again, Tuya, or you will stay stuck like this and we will never get away from here!


    Tuya relented, not able to put her heart into the things, unable to care about anything. She became clumsy, losing her spear progress, struggling to listen to the wild and make things themselves. Patience, Yaha would say, was a virtue, yet the woman possessed little of her own. She snapped at Tuya one morning after a series of spear mistakes then Tuya tried to do her worst just to make Yaha angrier. It worked in the worst way, Yaha screamed, and, for once, Tuya screamed back.


    The words said that day hurt more than any words Tuya ever said in her life. She stayed on the other side of the little stream, turned away from Yaha, vacillating between vindictive satisfaction and shameful regrets until Tuya chewed on more of the numbroot root than ever before and fell into a heavy, sleep of oblivion.


    She woke dazed, her body sore and spent. Yaha offered a halfhearted, ¡°Good morning,¡± and Tuya whispered it back, feeling like nothing about this morning was good. Was anything ever good in this world?


    They avoided yesterday like it was a chimaera, not daring to speak about the words that were said lest they be the death of them. Yet, they could ignore the undertow of yesterday¡¯s fight as easily as you could pretend away the salt that spoiled the ocean water and much like that salt, it made this morning unsustainable. Tuya doubted whether the woman would still care about her or want to help her for any reason other than her own survival. Worse, she worried that Yaha hated her now, just like the tamers did. Today¡¯s discovery was that it felt no better to be hated for something you did than for something you were.


    This heavy feeling set on her chest, making it seem like all hopes were crushed. Memories of being hated were her nourishment this morning. That, and feeling like she deserved to be hated for the awful thing she did. In this dark place where Norali¡¯s light did not shine, she remembered the oldest question of her young life.


    ¡°Why do the tamers hate me?¡±


    Yaha raised her eyebrows, her mouth made a sly smile, and her mind gave off a feeling of satisfaction. She would be happy to discuss why Tuya was a hated creature. Tuya was too tired to feel any anger at this. Only heavy sorrow sat upon her now, pushing everything else down.


    Yaha poked at the fire, already a pair of skewers roasting. ¡°Why do you seek stories of your own pain? Do you not have enough pain already?¡±


    Tuya¡¯s mind was slow, like the slug on the wall taking so long to reach its destination. Why did she ask this question when the answer would not take away the tamers¡¯ hatred? Why had this question burned in her for as long as she could remember, huddling small in a hollow and clinging to whatever kindness Zaya gave her? Why must she know why she was hated, if the knowing did not change that she was hated? Even dulled by numbroot, she found the answer, understanding herself enough to know why a thing mattered to know even if it did not change the world around her. Yet.


    ¡°When I listen to the tamed, or to the plants, I must know them before I can make them more of themselves. If I am ever to make the Hollows more of themselves, more into this place of harmony that your Fourteenth saw, if I am ever to make this pain go away, I must know where it comes from. I must know the root of a thing and understand the soil that it grows in, in order to change the thing itself.¡±


    Yaha¡¯s smile faltered into a sympathetic frown. ¡°The Fourteenth taught us that the things that divide people can always be understood, and that understanding was a bridge that can span across even the widest waters of anger and hate. It was with understanding that she helped the sixty-four clans overcome their unending conflict.¡± She moved closer to Tuya and squatted on the damp rocks beside her. ¡°You remind me of her. Sometimes.¡±


    Tuya found something she had not in days: a grin. ¡°And sometimes I remind you that I am only fourteen.¡±


    Yaha¡¯s laughter echoed off the walls. The light seemed brighter and the darkness smaller when Yaha laughed, when Tuya¡¯s grin grew like a seed determined to survive in the worst soils. Suddenly, just like that, it seemed possible that some things could be good, even this morning. Yaha caught her breath and handed Tuya one of the skewers.


    ¡°We will never know your age, Tuya of the Hollows. Between the numbroot leaf and the way you have been deprived, you could be anywhere between twelve and nineteen years old and I would not be surprised. For all that, you are both wise and insufferable as only someone with the painful experience of an elder and the rebellious spirit of an adolescent can be. With a combination like that, and a mind as strong and sharp as yours, you think you know best, and,¡± Yaha sighed, ¡°Yadeen knows that sometimes you do.¡±


    Tuya looked down, her smile fading as she knew what she must say now. ¡°I am sorry for the things I said. They were neither my truth nor yours.¡±


    After a few moments of silent staring at her own uneaten skewer, she braved a glance at Yaha. The old woman looked away from her, her chest rising and falling in small jerks, tears coming down the side of her face like rain. Seeing Yaha hurt, remembering those evil words, made Tuya feel like the worst soul to ever wander the world.


    Yaha wiped away her tears with the tattered remains of her sleeves. ¡°No, my little empagong, your spear hit closer to the truth than you know. We spent years failing to have a baby and when Olono encouraged me to step down and take on a ward it was I who always said, ¡®One more adventure.¡¯¡± Yaha sobbed. ¡°For years I chased purpose, refusing the truth. I thought the closest I would ever get to it was as captain of the Sixty-Four and I brought them here to die. As you said, I never should be anybody¡¯s¡­¡± Yaha¡¯s last word was swallowed by her weeping. Tuya knew it anyway. How could she forget what she said? How could Tuya ever take back the pain she caused by telling Yaha that the Divine never let her become a mother because she would have been the worst at it?


    Tuya put her hand on Yaha¡¯s, tears falling down her face like two streams coursing through sand. She wished she could take those words back and toss them into the ocean. Yet, time never turned backwards, and words once said could never return. There was only forward, only new words to be said.


    Tuya choked on a sob. She tensed her grip on Yaha¡¯s hand. ¡°Even when you get impatient, I know it is because you want what is best for me. Even when we yell, I know it is because you care about me. Even when I get angry and say the worst thing, you still love me. You would have been a great mother, Yaha. I am blessed that the Divine let you be mine.¡±


    Yaha threw her arms around Tuya and cradled her like a beloved babe. Tuya felt her love in the firm, but gentle, touch, in the overpowering flow of love coming from Yaha¡¯s mind, in the way her pain, and Yaha¡¯s, grew much, much smaller. They did not stop crying, that only accelerated, like a river after the rains. Alas, these were not rivers of guilt or sorrow or pain. These were the drops of love, of joy, of gratitude that made life worth living even in the worst of places.


    Ever the captain, Yaha moved into their purpose before the tears dried. ¡°Before I voyaged here and found my favorite little empagong, I studied the Fourteenth¡¯s accounts of Celegana¡¯s Spire, the Hollows of the Great Vesarran Peninsula, and the people who lived here a thousand years ago. What she found was nothing like what we see today.


    ¡°Alexia Leveria¡¯s chronicles describe Celegan men and women as people who lived in harmony with each other. Men were called tamers and women wilders. Tamers could make things what they wanted them to be and wilders could make things themselves again. The Fourteenth did not describe in great detail how they did these things, but she left the impression that their abilities were mutual and only when used in balance, could they thrive.¡±


    This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    Tuya found herself shaking in her chest. That, she thought, sounds like how Celegana would have envisioned her people living. She could see it clearly, this world as it was meant to be. ¡°The tamers exerted their will over nature to provide and the khorota, the wilders, made nature whole again so that nature could provide again. We need both to be in balance with Celegana. I should have liked to live in the Hollows then.¡±


    ¡°And I wish it was the place you were born into, because that is the society you and all the women here deserve.¡±


    Tuya nodded and believed this to be true. Could this world ever be that way again? If this was the Wholeness that Gurgaldai spoke of, why did he choose to attack faraway places? Could she change his mind as his Chosen, as his equal? Could that be the way back to Celegana¡¯s balance or would Gurgaldai force her to help him hurt everyone else until the entire world became like the Hollows as they were now? This was the true question of her life. Before answering that, she must understand the roots and the soil before she could hope to heal the Hollows. ¡°Then it changed when the Gidiites conquered us?¡±


    Yaha nodded. ¡°Yes. The Gidiites claimed the wilders and enslaved or killed the tamers. The ¡®weird rocks¡¯ and ¡®old stones¡¯ you can find in the Hollows are from when they controlled the Spire and the Hollows. Worse, they left behind the Gidiite law of Zakhirch Magadgui, which translates to ¡®might is right,¡¯ the belief that the strong have divine mandate to claim what they want from those who are weaker. To them, the Celegan harmony was weak, too different from their worship of Gidi, Divine of War and Strength. They saw themselves as your saviors and not your slavers, bringing tools, agriculture, and their god to a primitive people that lived inside trees.¡±


    Tuya shook her head and it felt like anger would burn a hole through her gut. ¡°The tamers became the very people who hurt them. They should have known better! They hurt us, they hurt the entire world, exactly as the Gidiites harmed them!¡±


    ¡°I agree, Tuya, but what you must know is that centuries passed where the Gidiites stripped away the identity of the Celegan people. They bred with the wilders, each generation making the tamers more like them, yet still keeping them oppressed by restricting their ability to own things or mate. Only when those with tamer powers outnumbered and overpowered the pure Gidiites, did rebellion ensue. Even then, the root of your answer lies in the role the wilders played in these rebellions.¡±


    Tuya understood now as revelation revised her worldview. ¡°We served the Gidiites. We broke tamer links and kept them oppressed.¡±


    ¡°Yes. It did not matter to the tamers that the wilders were slaves just like them. It mattered that the wilders made them weak and, in a world where might makes right, weakness cannot be allowed. Women like you are the weakness of the tamers and they learned that in order to stay strong they must dominate you until you were no longer able to challenge their might.¡±


    It all made sense now. Just as Zaya told her that day in the rain so many seasons ago, the tamers feared her and women like her. Rather than return to the vulnerability of harmony, they chose to make themselves mighty, chose to repay all the pain they suffered over generations and inflict it upon the wilders, upon any who were different or weaker. This was the soil she grew in. Understanding a thing did not change a thing, but having this answer brought her both peace and sorrow. She wished things could be different, but, again, she could not change the past. All Tuya could do now was go forward, doing whatever she could to change the soil around her.


    Three paths were laid out in front of her. In one, the easiest of them all, she could accept the world and acknowledge the tamers had a reason for their pain and that their might made them right to do whatever they did and nothing could stop them. This end made her think of the cliffs and the rocks below them. At the very least, she would not help Gurgaldai make this world worse. Neither would she make pain smaller if she gave up. She never wanted to think of this worst of options, but knew it would visit her on hopeless days where everything seemed wrong, when the belief that nothing could ever be good took hold of her.


    The second path was far harder, but still perhaps easier than the third. Gurgaldai saw her as equal and gave her a chance to find her strength so that they together might restore wholeness. Could she pull out the roots of their painful past and convince him to plant new seeds? Could they restore the harmony of that once upon a time long, long ago? Her stomach churned and not because the skewer remained uneaten on her lap. She did not know whether she could love the tamers, love Gurgaldai, after all the hurt, no matter how beautiful that past and Gurgaldai were. Yet, even though this path sounded like the right one, it did not feel so.


    The third, the final, path was the scariest of all. She could find allies and fight back, just as the tamers had against the Gidiites. There were people in this world, people like her, like Yaha, like Sarnai, that would stand up against this mighty monster that pushed everyone down. Some of those people were in the faraway lands, waiting for her to fly away and find them. Others were right above her in the Hollows, their wilding powers suppressed, or, just maybe, there was at least one tamer that did not want things the way they were, that wanted to change this soil that seeped in the tears of women and made the boys into hateful beasts. This path of war sounded wrong, but it felt as right as Celegana¡¯s touch.


    For all her supposed wisdom, Tuya trusted neither her feelings nor her mind. This single choice determined her future, the future of the Hollows, if not the entire world. Should she try to make the Celegans themselves again or did she need to rid the world of the tamers before they spread this plagued soil into every land? Right now, it did not feel like she could do either so should she just give up?


    When in the dark, when in doubt, it was a blessing to have a mother who loved you and wanted to help you find your light. ¡°You question what you must do,¡± Yaha said, tapping Tuya¡¯s shoulder. ¡°It is in your nature to make things more of themselves and this part of you, my beautiful empagong, wants to restore the balance between tamer and wilder. You wonder whether you can build a bridge of understanding and love between you and Gurgaldai or if the only way you can make pain smaller is to defeat him.¡±


    ¡°What do I do, Yaha?¡±


    Yaha inhaled. ¡°Almost every part of me wants to tell you he is too far gone. This man that killed my Olono and all of our crew will not stop until he destroys the Heiyan Savanna, the Great Atmana Forest, and even Isihla. He will turn your children into the monsters that will cross the sea and spread this hate to the white sands of Caleel and all the other places in our world. I want to tell you, Tuya, that he must be destroyed and our singular focus should be escaping him and defeating him.¡±


    ¡°Then I should let go of harmony? Choose rebellion?¡±


    Yaha said nothing, but kept her eyes on Tuya as the flames flickered and Tuya¡¯s lightseer eyes lit their grotto. Tuya wavered between her choices, unwilling to let go of harmony but also uncertain about rebellion. She locked her hands together and prayed to Celegana and Norali for the right answer. If they whispered anything, she heard them not. The planet and all its beings spoke to her, crying for freedom, wanting to be themselves again, while her eyes could not see the path ahead no matter how far away they saw.


    One mother did answer her, sitting beside her and putting her arm across her back, holding her together as these different paths pulled her into separate directions. ¡°You do not need to make this decision today. For now, all you must do is keep growing into who you are meant to be and seeking this answer for yourself. Whether you make this choice tomorrow or ten years from now, I will be with you, helping you search. Now, eat, Tuya, and we can think about your next steps.¡±


    Tuya smiled and bit into a lukewarm shrimp. She had to chew everything slowly and digest it all. Alas, patience was not Yaha¡¯s virtue.


    ¡°We need to figure out what you must figure out to make this choice. What say you, my little empagong?¡±


    Tuya swallowed. ¡°Listening to your story, I know of one thing I must do no matter what I choose.¡±


    Yaha perked up. ¡°Is that so?¡±


    Tuya nodded. ¡°I must help the wilders rediscover their strength.¡±


    ¡°Yes!¡± Yaha leapt to her feet, pacing around the fire. ¡°You do not have to do this alone. Whether for rebellion or harmony, you will need them.¡± She leapt up and down, pulsing with excitement. ¡°We start there! Not with gaining the trust of some tamer.¡±


    Tuya smiled, knowing which little wilder she would seek out first. But the wilders were not the only ones they would need in the days to come. Whether through harmony or escape, at least one tamer needed to be with her. ¡°Second, I will see if Darrakh can love me, if he can be trusted.¡±


    Yaha groaned, crouched down, and bristled on the far side of the fire, hiding her face. ¡°I cannot stop you there. But beware of Gurgaldai. I am certain he watches you, even if you cannot see him. I doubt he will idly allow you to fall in love with another man. There are too many ways this can go wrong for me to give you my blessing.¡±


    Tuya¡¯s smile faded into a frown. ¡°And that is the third thing, the most important of them all. Gurgaldai. I must speak with him again, see him again. If I am to make this decision, I need to know his heart and whether he can be changed.¡±


    Yaha sagged, slumping to the ground. Head down, she sighed. ¡°I suppose that is true.¡± She sighed again, then forced cheer her mind did not radiate. ¡°Where shall we begin?¡±

 Chapter Seventeen: Mistakes

    Tuya spread the ointment of the numbroot stem over Masarga¡¯s cuts and squeezed her bony palm to stop the bleeding. Masarga kept her head down and chewed the numbroot leaf. No cries of pain emerged from the small, underfed mouth of one who knew almost nothing but pain.


    Tough little wilder, Tuya thought, feeling love for this little girl that reminded her so much of herself when she was that small. Just like the Tuya of old, her mind radiated fear and shame. Short of her quota, desperate to avoid another beating, Masarga had reached into the brambles for the berries. Getting hurt was a cause for getting screamed at, certain to result in being called stupid and worthless. Not bringing in enough food was even worse. When both happened, your life was at risk.


    Tuya knew too well what it was like to have your own mind twisted against you and it tortured her to see another child suffer that same misery. Helping Masarga find her strength, untwist her mind, and relinquish unwarranted shame became a priority nonpareil.


    They lurked inside of a hollow barely large enough for a little girl like Masarga to lie down in. Dead leaves were strewn across the ground beside a small hide that would not even cover this tiny child. Nothing to soften the ground other than scratchy leaves, nothing to keep her warm, not even a paintaker to provide solace from suffering.


    Tuya¡¯s heart ached for her, and for the memory of the helpless little girl she once was. She touched Masarga¡¯s mind, venturing into a space crowded by fear and shame. Brave girl, let me show you how strong you are.


    Masarga¡¯s fear expanded like the swelling of a bruise struck a second time. She flinched and curled up into a ball, her hand slipping away from Tuya¡¯s.


    It is me, Masarga. It is Tuya. Let me show you a way we can help each other, a way that you can find me even when you cannot see me, a way that you can listen to the wild and make things more of themselves.


    I am not like you, Masarga projected, still keeping her mind closed, radiating the same deep sadness that kept Tuya curled upon the ground so oft in her life. Only you are Chosen. Only you are strong.


    Tuya did not, nor could she, stop the tears falling from her eyes. She could not stop the injustices in this world, at least not on her own. For all the futility, she must try because Celegana¡¯s strength was not a gift for her alone and she was tired of being alone with it. Wilders would return to the world and little girls would know their strength, would know it came from them, and not because some tamer chose them.


    Tuya put her hands around Masarga¡¯s back and placed her forehead on Masarga¡¯s. The touch awakened a feeling buried below the fear, the shame, and the deep, deep sadness. Masarga hungered for love, just like a little girl who used to cling to Zaya. Tuya would sate her appetite, would be her Zaya. You have strength that scares them, Masarga. They want you to believe you are weak. They want you to be afraid instead of them. They want you to be ashamed, when they are the ones who shame Celegana. Tuya lifted Masarga¡¯s chin until her eyes could see Tuya¡¯s smile. For the first time, she saw Masarga¡¯s beautiful smile. I know you are just like me, Tuya projected. You could listen to the wild and set it free. You could link with girls like us and make their pain smaller. You are amazing, just like you. When you see what I see, you will love you as much as I do.


    Masarga¡¯s eyes filled with water and Tuya let her look down at the ground, remembering how dangerous it was to look into another person¡¯s eyes. Will they hurt me?


    No, Tuya answered. We did this before, when you were hurt. They do not know about that and they will not learn about this.


    Masarga¡¯s mind opened and Tuya¡¯s consciousness merged with hers. Just like me, Tuya thought, sensing the full experience of this child. So many familiar beliefs from her early years came back to her like cruel tamers returning from conquests in the faraway lands. These old dreads, these self-loathing threads, filled Masarga¡¯s young mind, poisoning the strong, beautiful consciousness. Where joy should be, Tuya found apathy and agony and self-hatred. Masarga was convinced that she did what she should not do and was stupid for doing it. Whether linking with Tuya, or not finding enough berries, or reaching into the thorns, or any of the countless perceived errors, she saw only ugliness in herself. Tuya knew this girl well. It was like staring into the past and looking into herself.


    Tuya¡¯s understanding spread through Masarga¡¯s consciousness. She did not challenge Masarga¡¯s mind, did not try to argue with what she thought or why she thought it, but showed the girl who did her best with what life gave her another perspective from the eyes of one who had lived just like this and found the light within herself. Holding her body and mind, Tuya showed Masarga the beautiful, wonderful, lovable, strong, resilient girl she saw when she opened her eyes.


    Masarga clung to Tuya¡¯s love just as the neverborn had, even if she could not believe these same things about herself. I am a mistake.


    Tuya held her and brushed her tangled hair, trying to untwist the lies. ¡°When all we are ever told is that we are wrong, that is what we believe.¡± Tuya shared memories not unlike sticking her hand into the brambles, memories of weird rocks breaking and not bringing enough good water, memories of beatings and tamers screaming that she was a worthless khorota not worth the food she was fed. Masarga¡¯s mind struggled to comprehend that even Tuya, even Gurgaldai¡¯s Chosen, had once lived like her.


    ¡°We were never mistakes, Masarga. The only mistake here is that we are not allowed to make mistakes.¡±


    The thoughts were too far from Masarga¡¯s beliefs to be accepted. The soil was rotten and, for now, could only grow weeds tainted by the rot of self-hatred. Tuya could not change this soil with a single thought, or even with this flow of love. All she could do was plant the seeds of new beliefs and spend her days tending to the soil, fertilizing them with more love until, one day, beautiful flowers grew where once there were only weeds.


    Someday, those flowers would flourish, and maybe even help others find their own. That would not be this day, and that was okay. Today, they were enough, and tomorrow they would be even more. Tuya kissed the top of the little girl¡¯s head and caressed her mind with acceptance. Masarga¡¯s hunger for affection kept her open, kept her receiving every drop of love that Tuya showered her with. No, Masarga did not love herself, not today, but she loved this feeling, and she loved Tuya.


    You have the strength to link your mind with mine, Tuya promised. Think of me, think of joining our minds together, and I will be here for you.


    Tuya broke the link. Masarga¡¯s consciousness was there before she could blink, merging with her mind once more. Tuya did not need to feign her surprise at the speed and the size of Masarga¡¯s consciousness. The little girl was more powerful than Sarnai had been, and mightier than most of the tamers Tuya knew. For the first time, Tuya sensed pride from this precious child as she realized the truth of her strength. Tuya could tell her all day and night that she was strong, but another¡¯s words were no replacement for seeing one¡¯s own strength through their actions.


    I can learn to do the things you do?


    ¡°Yes,¡± Tuya said, nudging Masarga¡¯s forehead. I will teach you everything I know about sensing the world around you, how to listen to the animals and the plants, about blessing things with Celegana¡¯s strength and making them more of themselves.


    Masarga¡¯s delight pulsed through the link. The little girl was radiant with excitement as she imagined the possibilities. She would never be truly alone, never be lost, or need to risk putting her hand in brambles to avoid a beating. She would be a thought away from Tuya at all times.


    The girl¡¯s excitement spread through the link and Tuya caught it. Possibilities took root with her, seeding new dreams that before went undreamt in the Hollows. Hope blossomed within their link as Masarga saw the path to her empowerment and Tuya imagined a Hollows where every wilder was linked together in a union of sisterhood. She gave this vision to her accomplice. I will teach you everything I know and we will teach others to find their strength. Soon, nobody will suffer alone for we will always be together.


    The dreams grew within them until the old nightmares returned. Yaha knocked on the outside of the hollow three times. Tuya stepped out of the little tree and held her ground like she held a spear as three tamers came forth. Masarga made herself small, shrinking inside of her hollow. The little girl¡¯s newborn confidence and pride dissipated back into a raw terror that Tuya could only make smaller through the link.


    Yadakh and Semug carried logs that were chipped at the end into ridiculous imitations of Yaha¡¯s spear. They were way too thick and the chipped tips would pierce flesh little better than the unchipped end of the log. Yaha snorted and tapped the haft of her weapon against the ground, halting them well beyond the reach of their not-spears. Darrakh followed the other tamers, like a tail sticking out of their backsides.


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    Yadakh was a burly man, full of dark hair that shot in every direction. He deepened his voice, but the trembling of his throat betrayed his fear even to one who could not sense emotions. ¡°This little khorota owes me a bundle of berries.¡±


    Tuya held her fighting stance, projecting poise and security through the link as Masarga cowered and clung to Tuya¡¯s mind for support. ¡°I think these tamers must be reminded of how we do things in this region. What do you think, Yaha?¡±


    Yaha grinned with pure malice. ¡°In my lands, those who still have their strength but demand the fruits of another¡¯s labor are thrown into the evil water beyond sight of land.¡± Yaha stood tall, reaching higher than either of these stout men. ¡°I wonder how well tamers swim.¡± She took a sudden step toward them. Yadakh and Semug scrambled to huddle behind the other while Darrakh grinned from the rear.


    Semug stepped forward, with an evil sneer reminiscent of Makhun. ¡°Things have changed since you dared to threaten me.¡± He took another step and stared into the point of Yaha¡¯s spear. ¡°The Great Ezen has declared that there will be no more threats from you, dark one.¡±


    Tuya¡¯s poise fractured as she realized just how frail she was without Gurgaldai¡¯s blessing. Masarga¡¯s fear expanded and she trembled behind Tuya.


    Yaha drove the haft of her spear into the dirt. ¡°Is that so?¡±


    ¡°It is,¡± Yadakh said, moving beside Semug, bearing the same sneer. ¡°The mighty Gurgaldai says that if you so much as point your defiled stick at us he will disembowel his dark ones in front of you. He will do this until they are all dead and only then will he smash you into the mud where you belong.¡±


    Yaha shook, her hand clenching the spear. Tuya put her arm around Yaha. ¡°Gurgaldai has more dark farawaylanders?¡±


    Semug¡¯s eyebrows lifted. ¡°You did not know this, Chosen?¡± He chuckled and Yadakh hooted with laughter. Behind them, Darrakh lowered his eyes.


    Yaha spat through gritted teeth, ¡°Lies.¡±


    ¡°It is the truth,¡± Darrakh said. ¡°I saw them myself before I was sent away from the Spire.¡±


    Yadakh guffawed. ¡°Gurgaldai fills a different dark one with his giant breeder every morning and every night. Soon they will all have big bellies and yield mighty tamers that can jump like you.¡±


    Semug howled with joy and Yadakh mimicked that horrid tamer hoot. Tuya never wanted to hear that again, never wanted to see these hideous monsters who took joy in such pain. Hate filled Tuya like a poison that seeped through the link. Masarga knew she was about to suffer, about to hurt, and that not even the mighty Tuya could stop it. She was as good as alone. This was what she deserved for even contemplating thinking that she was worthwhile, that she was anything more than a mistake. Feeling this girl¡¯s pain, the hatred swelled in Tuya, swirling within her like a storm picking up and whirling all the fallen leaves and stripping the trees of every last one of their light drinkers.


    ¡°The berries,¡± Yadakh said, opening his palm.


    ¡°Masarga needs those berries!¡± Tuya said, her temper flaring like the hottest fire.


    Yadakh shook his head. ¡°Little khorota are fed what they are worth.¡±


    ¡°That is not true,¡± Semug said. ¡°We do not always feed them nothing.¡±


    The tamers hooted, except for Darrakh who lingered behind them, staring at his feet. Masarga¡¯s desperation fused with Tuya¡¯s need to protect her, fueled by memories of being this girl, by season after season of built up powerlessness. Tuya was not powerless anymore.


    She seized Yaha¡¯s spear and buried it into Semug¡¯s throat. His hooting became wheezing as Tuya ripped the spear out. Semug¡¯s blood spurted from his thick neck, coloring the air between he and Tuya. He put his hands to the wound, trying to stop its flow, but like time, it flowed on. Tuya held the spear, ready to strike, poised in her lion form. Semug stumbled toward her and she rammed the spear through his gut, once, twice, three times. Each thrust a catharsis, a release of seasons upon seasons of hate and rage carried by both Tuya and Masarga. The little wilder urged Tuya on, even as her fears of what came next gripped her.


    Semug crashed to the ground, gurgling noises escaping him just like they had the mother of the neverborn. His small taming consciousness fled his dying body. Tuya knew she could not let him tame a final time and take vengeance on her or Masarga. She enveloped his mind with hers, restraining his consciousness as she clenched the spear and aimed at Yadakh. She thought of killing him too, of leaving no tamers to tell the tale, then saw Darrakh, terrified behind Yadakh, his eyes on Semug¡¯s dying gasps. Semug¡¯s consciousness battled hers, as Masarga¡¯s fear built toward a crescendo. It was too much as Yaha stood frozen beside her, eyes wide and white against her dark face.


    I will destroy you! Semug¡¯s mind raged. He was too weak to be a true threat to her consciousness, but she sensed his yearnings. In his mind, he sought a bear, a strong clawed creature several times larger than her, and he would use that to hunt down Masarga. She held to his mind, not letting him go, held to the spear, not letting Yadakh go, held to Masarga, not letting her be alone, held to Yaha, not wanting her to hurt more than she already was.


    She stepped toward Yadakh. ¡°Gurgaldai has no authority over me and any who dare to hurt the khorota will answer to me. Do you understand, Tamer Yadakh?¡±


    Yadakh kept his eyes on the spear, sparing one glance to witness Semug spewing and choking on his own blood. ¡°Yes, Chosen,¡± he stammered, backing away from the spear. He turned tail and broke into a run through the forest, leaving a trail of fear and urine behind him.


    ¡°What have you done?¡± Yaha said, kneeling beside the corpse of Semug. ¡°My people will pay for this, Tuya.¡±


    Tuya huffed as she focused first on extinguishing the raging of Semug¡¯s consciousness. She squeezed his mind, much like she had Makhun¡¯s upon the beach, scenes of his life flashed in their link as he fought against her like a helpless woman being suffocated for daring to birth a girl. He screamed vitriol, empty threats, blaming her for everything wrong in his life, until, at last, his mind faded, his consciousness dying as his body ceased.


    Tuya vaguely heard Yaha. ¡°My girls are in pain and you bought them more misery.¡±


    ¡°Yaha!¡± Tuya stepped toward the Mahagan woman and Yaha flinched.


    Yaha shook her head, tears hiding behind the veils of her eyes, shame and guilt leaking from her mind. ¡°My girls.¡±


    Tuya lowered the spear and exhaled her anger. ¡°I will do what I can for them. I promise. I will seek out Gurgaldai today and I will make their pain smaller.¡±


    Yaha shook her head. ¡°You have already doomed them.¡± Yaha ripped the spear out of Tuya¡¯s hands, revealing strength held back in their sparring, leapt into the air, and traversed the tree tops. Tuya did not have to imagine what it was like to have someone you loved held by a monster while you could do nothing to stop their pain. She let Yaha go, knowing that she needed to burn off the heat of her anger before Tuya could make her pain smaller. Besides, there was another who still needed her, and would accept her help.


    Masarga remained rooted in Tuya¡¯s consciousness, clinging to the safety she provided. Tuya ignored a dumbfounded Darrakh, stepped into the little hollow, and hugged Masarga. Tuya held her, physically, mentally, spiritually, trying to soothe the little girl¡¯s fears, as well as her own anger. The kind touch helped her pass through the frantic rush, the queasiness, the hatred of her first kill. She remembered her purpose today and immersed herself in her love for Masarga. Honing in on that, holding the girl in her arms and her mind, everything else fell to the side. Her calm spread to Masarga, dimming panic into fear and fear into worry and worry into tranquility as she massaged Masarga¡¯s back and promised that everything was going to be okay.


    Use your strength, Masarga. Speak to the plants and listen to their stories. See if you can find any that are withering and need your strength to be themselves again. I will return to your mind before the big lightmaker goes to sleep.


    Given purpose and told how to pursue it, Masarga¡¯s anxiety gave way to excitement. Thoughts of listening to the wild coursed through her mind like good water. Tuya gave strength to those thoughts, willing Masarga to be more of herself until the girl grew antsy to get started.


    Tuya laughed. I love you, she projected, transmitting the meaning of this wonderful word as she brushed the girl¡¯s hair.


    I love you, Masarga returned. Smiling, the girl rushed off into the Hollows to find plants to speak with before Tuya even severed the link.


    Once Masarga¡¯s excitement left her mind, Tuya awakened to the mess in front of her. Semug¡¯s dead body, Yaha¡¯s pain, Yaha¡¯s people, Darrakh standing near, and Gurgaldai high in the Spire, all of these things needing to be dealt with. Her mind raced and she tried not to think about what she had just done and what she needed to do next. That only seemed to spur the thoughts on, making the idea of seeking out Gurgaldai bigger until it was her only thought.


    ¡°I will do what I can,¡± Darrakh said, ¡°to keep Gurgaldai from blaming the dark farawaylander or knowing of the little khorota you protected.¡±


    Tuya stared at this boy raised in the Spire who managed to retain compassion through the years of cruelty. Could he be real or just a mirage she wanted to see? She lowered her eyes, scared that he would reveal his cruelty at any moment, even more daunted by the possibility that he was real and that it was their chances of being together that were imaginary.


    ¡°Is there something you want to tell me?¡± Darrakh asked, his voice more mouse than man, seeming higher than she ever heard it.


    His gaze darted to the side when she lifted hers. ¡°Will you meet me tonight, after the big lightmaker goes to sleep, outside of my dark place?¡±


    He lifted his head and his eyes touched hers. Her chest fluttered. Was she nervous or excited? Perhaps both were so intertwined that they were one, like tamer and wilder fingers interlocking?


    ¡°I will be there. When the big lightmaker hides.¡±


    Tuya smiled. She remembered a phrase Yaha taught her, one of reunion and love from a land faraway. She spoke in the Leverian language, trying her best not to sound like a croaking empagong. ¡°Until next time, Darrakh.¡±


    He smiled and suddenly she felt much better, as if all it took to make pain small was the upturned lips and rising cheeks of the beautiful boy you admired.


    She carried that smile a few strides before joy faded back to worry. Tuya dashed for the dark place, knowing she would need the security of her sanctuary to withstand what came next.

 Chapter Eighteen: Love

    Tuya¡¯s consciousness wound through her dark place, past thousands of hollows, and up, up, up the massive spire of earth that rose far above the endless blue ocean that surrounded it from three sides. Higher and higher, she ventured, seeking the zenith of Celegana¡¯s Spire.


    This beautiful monstrosity where innocent boys died and ruthless monsters were born swelled with the hatred imbued into tamers as they underwent their horrid metamorphosis. Amongst the hateful, Tuya sensed the broken women that obeyed and suffered and suppressed every feeling within this bastion of brutality, wishing she could take their pain away, as her hatred for the tamers grew. Higher and higher she traversed until she reached the summit. The unmistakable presence of Chimaera was here, pulsing with the desire to be linked and guided to further destruction. Tuya dared not brush minds with the monster, shivering with the memory of corpses strewn across sand and dreams dying in their infancy. The strongest tamers resided atop the Spire, their hatred flashing like bright lights in dark places when you had your eyes closed. Shining brighter than them all was Gurgaldai ezen Celegan. He was the sun, the big lightmaker in the sky, and once seen all the other minds were faraway stars imperceptible beside the glow of his being. The mightiest tamer bathed her consciousness in his loneliness, in his paranoia, in his melancholy.


    She lingered in the space around his mind, angry about all the suffering within the Spire, frightened about what that anger would make her reveal, and saddened that she must do this. Nothing in her wanted to touch minds with Gurgaldai even though she knew she could not go forward without speaking to him one more time.


    Chosen. Gurgaldai¡¯s mind entwined around her like an unwelcome embrace. Remember, you cannot hide from me.


    I am not hiding!


    In this place where minds met but did not link, they could sense the colorful exterior of their feelings without knowing what thoughts lurked beneath them. Without either of them trying to merge minds, the only thoughts they received were ones the other chose to send. Tuya could tell that Gurgaldai felt curiosity and something pleasant but not what his pleasant feeling meant. Was it a sadistic glee in having her in grasp, a genuine joy in encountering her, or anything between these poles? Was he pondering how to punish her for the murder of Semug or would he praise her for showing strength? Tuya felt blind and for one who learned only reasons to mistrust the tamers, for one who relied on her ability to see danger, to sense the mind of those who could threaten her, and none could threaten her like Gurgaldai, this unlinked ambiguity was terrifying. Still, for all the uncertainty, the distance from him allowed her safety, much like why she chose to meet him shrouded in the dark place rather than at Celegana¡¯s Spire. Tuya knew not whether she feared if he would let her in more than she feared being left out when she pressed against his mind.


    Gurgaldai repelled her, erecting walls around his consciousness, withholding his inner self and controlling what flowed through his mental barrier. Blessedly, he did not try to invade her mind and force his will upon her.


    His hidden delight roiled Tuya¡¯s stomach, just as the thousands of times awaiting the decision of a tamer had in her early seasons. If she knew one thing, it was that the powerful enjoyed punching downward. If she knew a second thing, it was that none were more powerful than Gurgaldai. She could not dispel the belief that he was preparing to hit her with all his might. Reasons for the imminent beating ran through her mind, whether it was the killing, her delay of first blood, or worse, if he knew about her plans with Masarga. Terror presided over her mind, and, was also the dominant sensation emanating from Gurgaldai. What he feared, Tuya could not imagine as he concealed the real him behind his omnipotent veneer.


    Still, for all her fear, she knew that Gurgaldai wanted to see her be strong, be dominant, be unyielding. He chose her not for the way she cowered and made herself small, but for how she stood her ground. Cowards do not breed conquerors, she remembered.


    Tuya could not hide, but neither would she choose to hide. I have no access to you except through our minds, and yet you never come to me, never seek me out, and now you refuse to let me in. Who is it that hides from who, Gurgaldai?


    A wave of ecstasy emanated from Gurgaldai and Tuya knew she projected the strong thoughts he wanted to sense from her even if his excitement further stoked her fears. She could not endure these fears, nor could she retreat now. Tuya forced herself to focus only on him, to attune to what he felt, to seek out the truths hidden within him.


    Tuya sensed the predominant undercurrent beneath the ecstasy and the curiosity and even his fear. Gurgaldai tried to disguise the rising wave of sorrow that ran through each current of his consciousness. As she caught the undercurrent, her own fears drifted away, her desire to understand and make pain smaller flowed in place of the terror. Hope kindled within Tuya. If she could make his pain smaller, could she make pain smaller for all the Celegans? Could understanding and healing the sorrow in Gurgaldai restore harmony to the Hollows? She remembered her purpose, remembered that she needed to determine where her life would take her, and knew that she was in the right place, doing the right thing in this moment. She waited for him, riding each emotion she could find, willing him to be himself just as she would any other.


    One might think that you have missed me, Tuya.


    No, she thought, keeping that to herself, and hoping that her outward pulse was ambiguous enough to not reveal this truth. Tuya knew better than to lie to a man that could verify everything you said, but neither could she hope to find harmony if she broadened the rift between their worlds. You have left me to myself, choosing instead to spend time with farawaylander women.


    Man cannot give his seed to one who has not bloomed.


    Man does not need to give his seed to anyone but the one he chooses and the one who chooses him. Gurgaldai recoiled, his sorrow becoming even more discernable before he covered it with forced feelings. Tuya reached for him, seeking the source of his sorrow so that she could discover the real Gurgaldai. Again, she was repelled.


    You chose me, Gurg, Tuya projected. I want to choose you too, but I cannot choose a man who gives his seed to other women.


    Anger flashed like lightning and Tuya cowered within her mind, hoping she was not struck. You would have me waste my seed while you delay your bloom? You want me to squander Celegana¡¯s blessings?


    Tuya remembered how Sarnai would calm Jhorgal when he fell into fits of rage, even though projecting the thought sickened her. I would have you stop touching other women with your great breeder.


    My great breeder? Gurgaldai¡¯s anger dissipated, a torrential storm one moment and a placid rainfall the next. Are you jealous, Tuya? You would have it reserved for you and you only, would you?


    Tuya had never been more thankful that they were not fully linked. She could not stomach the thought of a man touching her with his breeder. Not even in her daydreams of Darrakh did she imagine being touched like that. Too many memories of Zaya being held down and hit while Zalmug put his breeder in her, of Sarnai out in the rain crying after her first blood, of farawaylander women going hollow as the tamers repeatedly touched them, of tamers hooting and hollering while women wept powerlessly. Tuya did not want anything to do with a man¡¯s breeder. Breeding was not love. In her world, it was a hateful act of domination, just like everything else the tamers did. She could not lie, but neither could she tell this truth.


    If you choose me, you must choose only me, Tuya projected. I cannot love a man who breeds with other women. I demand your loyalty.


    She waited for his angry outburst, for him to push his way into her mind, for him to know that she thought of Darrakh, for the end of the freedoms he permitted her, for a punishment delivered to another, to Masarga, to Yaha¡¯s women, to Yaha herself. She braced for those. Of all the emotions he carried with him, it was his hope that flared, smothering his sorrow.


    Gurgaldai projected an image of her. Tuya was older than she was now and more developed, like a plant she made into a paragon of itself. She was ¡­ beautiful, Gurg thought to her, thought of her. Strong. He transmitted an image of her holding him, wrapping her arms around him. He embraced her. You are my Chosen. My only Chosen.


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    Gurg¡¯s vision grew more vivid as he built his dream of them. They embraced atop the Spire, a vast mound of earth, stone, and tree melded together looming over the highest hollowed-out trees. The only structure in this world was Munderra, Gurgaldai¡¯s massive throne of earth and tree, a masterwork crafted by Celegana herself, fit for a tamer and a wilder to share, lovers presiding over a harmonious land. The sky was above them, endless and blue, nothing between Tuya and Gurg, no other people, no Chimaera, not even hides to separate them. Gurg stood beside her in all his magnificent glory.


    Tuya knew then that no man would ever be as beautiful to her. How could they be? He was no less a masterwork than Munderra, a near-divine being amongst the mundane, chiseled to perfection by Celegana. Darrakh was a pretty flower and Gurg was the Spire itself. How could someone this resplendent not be saved from the cruelty of their fathers? Tuya wanted to redeem him, not just for the women of the Hollows, but for him. He was just another victim, and she would make him into the beautiful man that ended the cycle of hatred. She chose to look past the horrible things he had done, things done not because of how he was born but how he was bred, if it meant she could love him into a man as beautiful on the inside as the outside.


    Her awe must have leaked through her walls, seeping to him. He was a beacon of hope and joy. We are equal, Gurg told her. You have my loyalty. From now on, it is only you and me.


    He held her, not in conquest, not in raw lust, but as an equal, as a spearmate would. He caressed her, his admiration of her flowing through his walls unfiltered. Gurg lifted her up and put his lips to hers. He carried her, never breaking his mouth away, never overpowering her, to their shared seat. This will be our future, Tuya. This world of wholeness. Can you see it?


    I see, she answered. Her mind ventured into futures where the wilders and tamers could be one again, where harmony was the rule of the Hollows, where little boys were not shaped into hateful monsters, where little girls had the chance to be loved, to believe in themselves, where the faraway lands remained safe from the three-headed beast. She could see with all her eyes the great, whole world that could emerge from unifying with this man. As these possibilities unfolded, she made her choice. This was her future, this was the path she would follow. She could love this man and restore the world Celegana envisioned. Together, they could change the Hollows and make it a place where girls like her and boys like him lived in harmony.


    We will bring the world together again, Gurg promised. He projected a vision of them sharing Munderra, their hands intertwined. We will restore Celegana¡¯s Wholeness and preside over an age of peace and unity.


    Tuya held his hand, merging with his vision. She smiled and stared into his vast blue seers and saw the future. You and me, choosing love instead of hate. We will make the tamers and wilders themselves again, make the whole world more of itself, make pain smaller, by restoring Celegana¡¯s harmony.


    Gurgaldai pulled away from her, shattering his image, erecting his barriers. Tuya reached for him and found only the wall. His emotions were hectic, a swirling storm of every possible feeling ranging from love to hate, joy to despair, hope to dread.


    Gurg?


    He spiraled, sending her spinning through all the same emotions. With the fall from hope, with the descent into dread, each fear, each terror held at bay, returned. Tuya screamed for him in the silence, needing him to come back to her, to believe in their dreams. She sent the image of them on Munderra, holding hands, loving each other, presiding over a Hollows where tamers and wilders worked in unison.


    You have it wrong, he told her, his anger on the edge of breaking through a tightly held composure. It is our duty to restore the Wholeness, writ by Celegana herself into the stones beneath the Spire. We must make the world one, Tuya. Gurg projected an image of Tuya wielding Celegana¡¯s strength, communing with the very land itself as it trembled and shook. The ocean shrank as faraway lands grew closer to the Hollows. Tuya continued to speak to the earth, making it more of itself, making it one again, merging lands long severed.


    In the beginning, all lands were one, Gurg thought to her. The evil gods and their people fought a calamitous war that would have left the world a dead place where nothing grew if not for Celegana¡¯s sacrifice. She gave her life to break apart the lands, to stop the fighting. But she knew that the evil gods would bring their death again to her children. Her breaking of the world was not the final solution, but only a respite until dreamers came along with the power to achieve the unification, the Wholeness that she dreamt of. You and I are those dreamers, Tuya. Only with my might can we make the people one and only with your might can we restore the world to the way it should be. Together, we can create the world Celegana dreamt of. Together, all shall be whole again. You must see this.


    Tuya was not ready to let go of the dreams of mere moments ago, of the life she could have led, of the love they could have shared. She was not ready to accept the end. She knew the answer, and yet in her denial, she asked the question. How would you make the people one?


    The followers of the evil gods have squandered Celegana¡¯s blessing to them. This world is rife with war in the faraway lands. People fight over who owns what, they fight over their differences, over whether they are from here or there, over who holds power, over who they call their god, or even over what they name themselves. The fighting will never end as long as they remain different, as long as they worship the evil gods, as long as they remain pretenders and heretics. The only way we can achieve peace is if all the people become one with us.


    Thus, Tuya wept for the loss of the beautiful future with the beautiful man. If this was his future, he would travel it alone, and she would stand against him. Dead was the dream of harmony. Rebellion was the only path, and that meant countless people would suffer to prevent the world Gurgaldai would create. She would not share these thoughts with him, and could only hope that he did not seize them from her. For all the heartbreak, a part of her found peace in the fact that she expected this was the road all along. Now she knew beyond all doubt what her future held. This boy unlike any other and exactly like every other believed himself the world¡¯s savior when he was the bane of all who lived.


    Still, he did not let go of her, even if she let go of him. This is the only way, Tuya. If we do not restore the Wholeness, the evil gods will ruin us. All life will be lost if we do not fulfill Celegana¡¯s dream. Can you not see that?


    What I see is a world where little girls are told they are worthless khorota and where little boys are taught to hate and hurt. Can you not see that is not the lives Celegana wanted for her children? Everyone in your world hurts, Gurgaldai. Even you. Especially you.


    Everyone already hurts, Chosen. You live in dreams and must be sleeping if you believe things are better elsewhere. Venture your mind to these faraway lands and witness what I have. People fighting over pride, over who sleeps on which lands, over which pretender should lead them, over the meaningless things they own, over who breeds with who. The fighting never ends.


    And you would kill them all to stop them from fighting each other.


    I would make us one!


    You would perpetuate the world that has made me, and everyone like me, want to leap off the cliffs!


    There is nobody like us, Chosen! Through her trials, we have grown stronger than all the others. Those who leap are too weak for the natural order. That is why we are the ones who will restore the Wholeness.


    No, Gurgaldai, it is not this foul soil that has made me strong. I am not strong because I have been beaten down and hated my whole life. I am not strong because I am unlike anyone else. I am strong because of the kindness and love I have received from others like me. Without those, I would have jumped seasons ago.


    It was I who stopped you from jumping!


    Yes, and that is why I sought you out, because I try to believe that you have the ability to love inside of you. If you believe in my strength, in our equality, you need to see what I see. You need to work with me to create a world of good soil where our children can grow strong.


    Tuya trembled, afraid she went too far, that she revealed too much, ventured too close to the breaking point. Gurg¡¯s mind went quiet as he took in her thoughts and gathered his own. Anger was the dominant color of his consciousness, with that ever-present sorrow lurking below it. She felt him there, on the edge of her mind, contemplating what to say to her. Hopelessness took root the longer their silence persisted.


    You must see what is real, Chosen, and if you cannot, I will make you see it.


    Tuya clenched her mental walls, preparing for him to slam into her consciousness and flood her mind with wrath. She held her walls tight, crying in her sanctuary even as her waste leaked down her leg, certain that this was the end of her freedom. She tuned out the entire world beyond her own defense, bracing, bracing, bracing for the collision. The collision never arrived.


    Tuya unwound herself, brought her mind back to her body, and found herself alone in the dark place.


    Alone, but not without love. Love for herself, love she would foster with Yaha, with Masarga, and with any willing to let her love them. She would not love Gurgaldai ezen Celegan. At least she knew that now. Hugging her own body, exhausted, forlorn, soaked in her own fear, but certain in her path, Tuya accepted that Gurg would never choose harmony. Well, she would never choose him. She needed to prepare the wilders, she needed to formulate her escape, and she needed to believe that there was a man here who could see what she saw, who could love her, so that she could challenge the most dangerous man alive.

 Chapter Nineteen: Darrakh

    Tuya lurked inside the mouth of the dark place like a sharp tooth ready to bite and tear. Her spear her lone companion, she allowed herself and her dead branch, dead vines, and sharpened rock a moment of respite. Sweat soaked her hides and stuck them to her skin, her hair was coated in slickness, and her scent was like no flower she knew. Over and over, she relived the death of Semug and the motions of Yaha¡¯s spear in her hands.


    The tamer¡¯s blood squirting from the hole in his neck, his wheezing, the dying gasp, the attempt to find a second life, and all the hatred and anger he felt. Even before his death, Tuya recalled how he kicked and shouted at the farawaylander woman who carried his seed, the pain of the neverborn, his hostility toward Masarga and Yaha, and on and on.


    Tuya was glad he was dead. She was glad she killed him. She spent her day, trying not to think about where Yaha was and whether she was safe or whether she would do something reckless, trying not to be afraid of whether Darrakh could love her or whether she would be speechless if and when he came, trying not to worry that Gurgaldai would retaliate against her, and trying not to connect her fears together, to worry that Yaha was not back because of Gurgaldai.


    No, by Celegana, by Norali, she spent her day thinking of how she would hold her ground and kill any tamer who got between her and freedom, and how she would feel no regret for the taking of a life that added nothing but pain to the lives of others. Semug was the first man she killed, and, now that she knew there would be no harmony with Gurgaldai, he would not be the last. Tuya and her spear would be ready.


    She sensed a consciousness approaching the cave, one that did not have Yaha¡¯s distinctive pulse. The mind reeked of fear and timidity, and yet it continued approaching a place where none came. Tuya clenched her spear and moved closer, crouching in the darkness where she could watch the cave mouth, ready to spring, ready to kill.


    She loosened her grip when she saw him, yet would not relinquish her spear. Darrakh stepped into the cave, braving the darkness but not losing sight of the light at his back. ¡°Tuya?¡±


    His voice betrayed the anxiety Tuya already knew was there. Her own heart pounded in her chest, as her mind pulsed with worries. She did not feel like the brave warrior he slew an oppressive tamer. Tuya was a little girl lost in the ways of love, knowing only that tamers were hateful. Despite that knowing, she desperately wanted this boy to like her, wanted to believe he was different. His fear gave validation to her own, and though her mind was not at ease, she did not feel alone in being scared. For some reason, that made her less afraid, it allowed her to be brave rather than scamper deeper into the darkness. ¡°Darrakh.¡±


    The hairs on his arms stood tall, he shook like little leaves in a mighty wind, his voice cracked and sounded ill-suited to a tamer, a poor fit for a man trained to spend his days dominating beasts and women with no mercy. ¡°You said to come. I am here.¡±


    Each time her feet pattered closer to him, she questioned if she were going the wrong way. If not for the rationalization that she would need a tamer to collaborate with her, her desire to be loved may not have been enough to keep her moving toward him.


    Darrakh startled when she reached out and touched his arm. He seemed so small, stepping back, thin-framed, not much further above the ground than her, with that wispy not-beard. Tuya had her spear, and thought she might be able to defend herself from him even without her weapon. Why then was he so terrifying? She could not think of what to say. All she could think of was that she said nothing and that she should have something to say if there was to be love between them.


    Their eyes collided, and then drifted toward their feet. What could she say to him? A season of dreaming of this moment, of rehearsing words, and she had nothing. She wanted to hide, to run for the depths of her dark place, but was too afraid to. Her hand slipped off his arm, she clung to the spear for safety. Darrakh watched her hand and she felt his fear emanating of his consciousness.


    Darrakh stammered. ¡°Are you ¡­ are you going to hurt me?¡±


    ¡°Are you going to hurt me?¡±


    Darrakh shook his head. ¡°No.¡± He stepped back and wrapped his hands together, keeping his eyes low. Tuya thought he looked more like a khorota making herself small than a tamer. ¡°I would rather die than hurt you, Tuya.¡±


    ¡°Because I am Gurgaldai¡¯s Chosen?¡±


    Darrakh shook, head and trunk, his voice grew stronger, more adamant. ¡°Because you are the only good thing I see here and ¡­ and you make the Hollows a better place than I do.¡±


    Tuya moved toward him, coming fully into the starlight at the edge of her dark place. ¡°You are a tamer. How can you think a khorota is worth more than you?¡±


    Darrakh took her hand, cradling it in both of his. Tuya jolted, sensing his sincerity, his care, his kindness, and most importantly, his love. ¡°Because you are. I have done nothing, worse than nothing, and you do so much to help the others. I would rather die than hurt you, Tuya.¡±


    Tuya thought of all the rebuttals that could deny him: But she killed Semug, but she killed Sarnai, but she failed so many times, but how could he, a tamer, believe the words he said. Yet, her hand in his, she knew that he told the truth. Darrakh believed what he said. He believed she was good and he would not hurt her. Tuya slid her spear across the craggy ground toward the path to her sanctuary. She would have no need of that now. She put both hands in his, kept her eyes on his, not looking away, suddenly feeling more brave than afraid, more excited than nervous, more hopeful than dreadful. This boy, this man, could love her, and she could love him.


    ¡°Come with me,¡± she said, pulling him into the cave.


    ¡°I will go into your dark.¡±


    Tuya grinned, and at last words were her friend again. ¡°I do not take you into the dark, Darrakh. Today, I show you the light.¡± Her eyes beamed a silver glow, shining ahead of her, allowing Darrakh to see what she saw. He gasped and she grinned, leading him by his hand into the dark place.


    ¡°Incredible,¡± he said. She squeezed his hand and he squeezed back. Tuya doubted she ever felt so giddy. She could see it now, a future of holding hands and smiling in the light they created within the darkness, two lost children of Isihla finding their way home to the place of sands in the faraway lands, leaving behind this hollow place that did not fit them or support the love they would grow.


    Tuya showed him the mushrooms and the moss, the snakes slithering into the cracks in the wall, many-legged bugs that lurked in the dark and scurried from the light, the pretty rocks that gleamed in the light and could not be cut.


    ¡°Celegana blesses you, Tuya.¡±


    Tuya turned to him, studying his cute face that echoed their faraway homeland, holding his green-grass eyes in her own. ¡°These are the blessings of our other mother, Darrakh. People who look like us come from a land called Isihla, a land of sand where Mother Norali blesses her children with the ability to have eyes like little lightmakers that can see in darkness and create light wherever they shine. Someday, she might bless you too, as long as you keep trying to see light in the darkness.¡±


    A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.


    ¡°I can see the world like you?¡±


    Tuya put her hands on his shoulders, stretched onto the tops of her toes, and brought her eyes closer to his. She could see it already, his cute face beaming with silver eyes, certain that would be their future. ¡°Stay with me and you will see,¡± she said, the edges of her mouth rising.


    He put his hands on her back and brought his face even closer, until they were almost touching. ¡°I would like that.¡±


    Tuya¡¯s insides felt hot, a pleasant warmth like a cookfire in a cool cave in the season of new life. ¡°Me too.¡± She closed the distance between them, putting her forehead to his, her nose to his, her eyes shining only on his. ¡°I would like that very, very much.¡±


    Darrakh pulled her body as close to his as he could. She felt his excited trembling, sensed the love flowing through his consciousness like good water. Like two rivers meeting, her love flowed strong, full of hope and happiness. Tuya thought not of the way tamers touched khorota, but of the love shared in faraway lands where two people bonded not over one conquering the other but by sharing of their lives, their hopes, and their bodies. She locked her arms around his back and pressed her lips to his.


    He ran his fingers through her hair, tracing down her back, as his eyes, for once, did not dart away from hers. Their lips held together and for how weird of a sight they must have been, it felt right, it felt good to be joined at the mouth. They said nothing for a long time, caressing each other¡¯s backs as they moved their mouths together. Tuya could not remember feeling so excited, so warm, so happy. This weird thing they did, so unlike anything she had ever seen, was good. Very good. Overwhelmingly good. When their mouths were not pressed together, they were smiling and laughing. It was the best form of unfamiliarity, smiling, laughing, embracing a tamer who did not want to tame her.


    One hand on his face, she whispered in his ear, ¡°I like this very much.¡±


    He turned his head, mouth to her ear. ¡°Very much? I like this very, very, very much.¡±


    She snorted, and it felt like wild beasts were stampeding in her chest. ¡°I love this.¡±


    ¡°Love?¡±


    Of course, they did not teach love in the Spire. Tuya was eager to enlighten Darrakh. ¡°Love is when you care about someone and would do what you can to make their pain smaller, to put the smile on their face, to help them be themselves.¡±


    ¡°Love,¡± Darrakh whispered. ¡°Then I must love you because I would do all those things for you.¡±


    Tuya lifted her head off his shoulder and looked him in the eye. ¡°And I would do those things for you, Darrakh.¡±


    He put his lips on hers. ¡°Good. Like you.¡±


    ¡°And you,¡± Tuya said between mouth embraces. She took his hands and, with effort, separated from his plump lips. ¡°How are you so good? I have seen memories of those raised to be tamers. How are you still ¡­ you?¡±


    Darrakh set his eyes to the ground, his smile faded from his face. ¡°I had a protector.¡±


    ¡°There are others like you?¡± Tuya could not fathom how a pocket of compassionate tamers existed in the Spire where brutality and cruelty were law, where little boys were attacked for any sign of kindness.


    Darrakh¡¯s frown deepened, looking as sorrowful as any she ever saw. ¡°No. Khorij. She who fed me. She taught me to change myself to be what tamers wanted me to be, taught me which ones to bow to and which ones to bark at, who needed to be tamed and who needed to tame. She taught a boy who could not dominate with body or mind how to survive.¡± He lifted his eyes, tears gleaming in them and beginning to glide down his sandy brown cheeks. ¡°She taught me to care, to see good in people like her, people like you, Tuya.¡±


    ¡°She taught you to love.¡±


    Darrakh nodded, the tears coming faster than rain drops now, cascading from his sweet, green eyes. His face scrunched in sorrow and Tuya cried with him, not needing to hear the rest of his story to know where it headed.


    ¡°I¡­¡± Tuya put a finger over his mouth. Darrakh broke into sobs, threw his arms around her, and buried his head in her shoulder. He wept like no tamer she ever saw. Always sadness was turned to anger in the twisted heart of the tamer, yet Darrakh softened in her arms. He was who he was because of the rare fragment of love he was able to take from a place where hatred was law. She did not need to hear the rest to imagine what it was like for him to kill, or, probably, worse, this woman who loved him like a son and did everything she could not to let the tamer¡¯s take away his ability to care about others.


    Tuya wept for that brave woman and thanked her for the gift she gave the world. Still, she shook with rage. Tuya thought of the spear, of disemboweling and watching these monsters pay for their evil with a fraction of the pain they gave to others. ¡°I will make them pay, I promise.¡± She pressed her lips into Darrakh¡¯s cheek, kissing the falling tears. He held tighter to her, clinging to the hope she offered, savoring another person who chose to give him her love.


    Tuya held Darrakh, her own memories swirling in her mind, ever drawing her closer to the people she cared about. She remembered what it was like when Makhun forced her to hit Sarnai, to kill her, and imagined what it would be like had it been Zaya, her protector instead. Tuya did not want to use her words to tell him that she understood, that she wanted to make his pain smaller. No, that was not the way. Tuya wanted to show him, not tell. She reached out to him with her consciousness, inviting him to link with her, to share minds and feel each other¡¯s feelings, think each other¡¯s thoughts. She wanted to remove every barrier between them, so that her love could make his pain smaller.


    He repelled her.


    Struck, as if by lightning, Tuya reached out again.


    He repelled her.


    Darrakh refused to look at her, keeping eyes closed, shaking his head. She sensed his sorrow, but rising above that was his fear. ¡°I cannot.¡±


    Tuya gripped his hands. ¡°Let me in. I want to make your pain smaller.¡±


    ¡°I cannot.¡±


    ¡°Yes, you can. It will help me share my love with you, like she used to.¡±


    He shook and shook, fear swallowing all sorrow. ¡°I cannot.¡±


    ¡°Why?¡±


    ¡°The Great Ezen.¡±


    Tuya tensed from head to toe. Eyes narrowing, brow furrowing, her hand squeezed Darrakh¡¯s, anger flowing through her and pushing everything else aside except for hate. ¡°Gurgaldai is not here. He cannot stop us from loving each other.¡±


    ¡°He is everywhere.¡±


    Tuya shook her head, letting go of Darrakh. ¡°Listen, Darrakh! I can see tamer consciousnesses with my eyes. He is not here. He will not know, so let me make your pain smaller.¡±


    Tuya reached out with her mind again.


    Darrakh repelled her. ¡°He always knows. I cannot link with you, Tuya. I would rather die than hurt you.¡±


    ¡°Then why do you hurt me now?¡±


    Darrakh put his head in his hands, his breathing went fast and he gasped for air. His anxiety blocked out Tuya¡¯s mind sense. ¡°Celegana preserve me!¡±


    Tuya stifled a scream. She wanted to shove him, she clenched and unclenched her fists, so mad at him. Then it hit her that she was mad at Gurg, mad at the master tamer and the world he created, not mad at another one of his victims. ¡°Celegana preserve us all,¡± she said, exhaling. She reached out to Darrakh and used her wilding to give him Celegana¡¯s strength, much like she would a numbroot starved for nourishment.


    Slowly, Darrakh¡¯s breath steadied and his fears eased. The essence of their father¡¯s mother, a shimmering brown to Tuya¡¯s eyes, flowed from her to him. ¡°It is okay,¡± she said. ¡°I understand. I wish it were different, but I understand. You are trying to protect us both from him.¡±


    ¡°I am sorry, Tuya,¡± Darrakh whispered, guilt overtaking fear. He slid against the wall until he sat upon the rocky ground amidst the moss and mushrooms and pretty stones.


    She sat beside him, placing her hand on his. ¡°I don¡¯t want to let go of you.¡±


    He twisted toward her, opening his fingers so they intertwined with Tuya¡¯s. ¡°I will not let go of you.¡±


    ¡°Then hold on to me.¡±


    Darrakh held her hand.

 Chapter Twenty: Captured

    Tuya and Darrakh stayed together deep into the night, her sharing stories that Yaha taught her while he listened and asked questions. They spoke mostly of Isihla, the land of their mothers, of lightseers and shadows, of a white palace on a lake surrounded by sand, of a nation ruled by a strong woman who was the daughter of Norali.


    Many, many times she found herself losing track of her words and gazing into his eyes, sharing smiles hidden in the dark from the rest of the world. It was the best night of her life, not that there was strong competition as far as good nights went. Even still, just as nothing bad lasted forever, neither did anything good. As time drifted toward the end of all things, they both knew that Darrakh needed to return, needed to resume the role of tamer in the morning.


    The parting embraces seemed to never end as neither wanted to let go. It did not matter if she got tired or if her arms wanted to stay still after the long day of training and holding. What mattered was how happy she felt with his lips on hers, how much brighter she saw a future with him in her life. Dreams of that white palace on a lake and of going home to a place where they would not have to hide their love. Dreams of not being alone in a world where every single man she ever met wanted to hurt her.


    They would continue meeting at dark, hiding their love during the day, and Darrakh would do everything he could to avoid suspicions, observing the other tamers to survive as his protector taught him. In the light, things must go on as they always had so that in the night they might find freedom in each other¡¯s love. Tuya looked forward to these good nights and these hard days of working toward the brighter days ahead. She could see them now, holding hands through it all.


    The elation burned in her soul, carrying her deeper into the night as she waited for Yaha to return. It sustained her when the worry built up, when the bugs chirped and the creatures of the night moved about and still Yaha was missing. Tuya waited near the mouth of her dark place, scanning the Hollows for Yaha, and not finding her in the region, not finding her mind scent among the millions who resided beneath the Spire. She feared the worst, opening her mind to the cries of the tamed creatures of the world.


    At once, thousands upon thousands of voices called out to her, begging and pleading for freedom, too many for her to help with a lifetime of time and infinite energy and will to break the links that bound them. Signals carried across the world, from faraway lands where Gurgaldai¡¯s tamers organized their conquest, partaking in his foul vision to make everyone just one. So much oppression, so much desolation, and her night with Darrakh felt like a distant past, a dream of a world better than the one she found herself in. A million voices screamed out for help and it felt like she was the only one who could hear them, the only one who can help them.


    Yet, Yaha was not among them, and Tuya feared even worse. Mahagan men and women, loving bondpairs, people with stories and lives, hopes and dreams, fears and faults, covering the beach tainted red, little Khula crushed in the mud, Sarnai battered by Tuya¡¯s own hands, the images rushed at her, telling Tuya to expect the worst. Again. Again. And again. She was a fool for believing otherwise. A million voices screamed out for help and it felt like she could help no one.


    Curling into a ball, crying in the dark amongst the mushrooms, moss, spiders, and snakes, Tuya tried to hope. Her eyes dimmed, tears blurred her vision, and fears scattered her faith that she could ever be free of misery. Yaha did not return no matter how many times Tuya begged Celegana, begged Norali, even pleaded to Yaha¡¯s Zafrir, Dalis, and the Fourteenth. A million voices screamed out for help and Tuya felt like one of them and yet completely and utterly alone among them. And Yaha did not return.


    In her deepest despair, she thought of begging Gurgaldai for help, or at least for an answer if Yaha was already killed. She wrestled with the desperation, knowing that Gurgaldai would only use it to chastise her, to control her, to force her to oblige his wicked visions of tomorrow and feed his actions of today. Still, she wanted Yaha returned and knew not what to do beyond running around blind, screaming her name among the millions in the Hollows. That would end with her being caught by tamers, beaten, and raped, probably like Yaha already was. A million voices screamed out for help and Tuya turned them off, silenced them in her mind, unable to bring even one to freedom.


    *************


    Tuya! Tuya!


    It felt like tiny hands jostling her, shaking her when she hurt, and trying to make her move when she wanted to curl up and fade away.


    Tuya! Tuya!


    Not now, Tuya thought. So tired. Tired of everything.


    Tuya! The dark woman needs you!


    Tuya jolted upright, scrambled to her feet, blood rushing to her head, dizzying her, she staggered toward her spear. Masarga! Where is Yaha?


    Tokhun has her!


    Where!


    Tuya merged minds with Masarga. Through the little girl¡¯s eyes, Tuya saw Yaha fighting the tamers, kicking and shouting while big Tokhun held her from the back. Tamer Yadakh carried her spear, early morning light shining on them, showing a Yaha covered in bruising and several streaks of blood.


    Some tamer shouted, ¡°Kill her!¡± The other tamers picked up the call. Tokhun fought to hold Yaha still but she twisted and resisted. In the end, he was too strong. He lifted her up and slammed her, head first, to the ground, then pinned her down. ¡°Kill her! Kill her!¡±


    Tuya screamed in her body, screamed for it was too late. No amount of running or wishing would get her to Yaha before Tokhun crushed her skull. Like always, there was nothing she could do but watch another loved one die. Masarga tried to comfort her, this little girl who knew nothing but pain, tried to give Tuya strength. Yet, all she felt was the familiar bleakness, the futility, the deep hole in her that grew bigger each time she lost, and it felt like she always lost, and would only ever lose. Today, it would be Yaha and tomorrow it would be Masarga and the day after Darrakh. Loss was the true nature of her life. Masarga cried and looked away from Yaha, curling into her tiny hollow, as Tuya¡¯s misery seeped to her.


    Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.


    Great, Tuya thought. All I do is make things worse.


    ¡°No! For all she has done, a quick death is too good!¡± The voice broke Tuya¡¯s heart.


    Masarga turned toward Darrakh, peeking out of her hollow to see him drop his furs around his ankles. He stepped out of them and toward Yaha and Tokhun. ¡°I go first.¡±


    Laughter erupted and the tamers hooted and hollered like it was a contentious first blood. The whole gaggle of them hurled insults and threats at Darrakh while Tokhun restrained Yaha. The tamers dropped their hides and volunteered themselves to be the first rapist.


    Tuya seized the moment, returned to her own mind, and ran. She ran, ever clinging to the faintest vine of hope. She ran, not allowing herself to contemplate failure. She ran, telling herself that Darrakh was not the evil tamer but doing this to give Yaha a chance to survive. She ran, ran until the cacophony filled her ears, until tamers gathered around a Yaha with the last vestiges of her captain¡¯s uniform torn to shreds, exposing her.


    The tamers themselves were in various states of undress, breeders limp or erect, arguing over who would go first and insulting anyone who dared volunteer themselves. If not for their need to always appear the strongest, to dominate, they would have already been taking turns. Monsters that they were.


    For all that, Tuya was nearly out of time. Tokhun, a massive man of obvious Gidiite descent, pale-fleshed, muscled, with hair like the red, falling leaves of the season, worked to pull down his hides as he restrained Yaha, and none dared oppose him as the first claimer. Not even Yaha. The mighty windjumper froze on the ground and gave off almost no mental pulse, as if her mind was someplace else and her body left behind.


    ¡°Stop this! Now!¡± Tuya flashed her spear, halting at the edge of the circle of tamers, ready to throw death at Tokhun¡¯s thick neck.


    Tokhun eyed her, hungry, his violator pressing into the hairs of Yaha¡¯s groin, his big hands binding Yaha¡¯s forearms to the dirt. ¡°The dark one is ours. Punishment for the death of Tamer Semug. Go back to your cave, beautiful one, before we toss you beside her.¡±


    Tuya clenched her spear. Her anger shifted from loud and desperate, the anger that murdered Semug in a moment of heat, to a cold, bitter hatred, one designed to savor the pain of monsters like Tokhun. She wanted to dismantle this beast, piece by piece, slowly and surely hurting him for his arrogance, his cruelty, his ignorance. Her voice went low, commanding through confidence rather than vehemence. ¡°You will release her or you will die.¡±


    ¡°Gurgaldai commands we do this,¡± Tokhun said, a tiny fragment of fear leaking through the overarching sense of his glory. ¡°The Great Ezen says you have displeased him and you must lose the one that you cherish. If you try to kill me, you will fail, and you will be thrown beside her and given your just rewards, Chosen.¡±


    Tuya ground her teeth, wanting to kill every tamer, all the way up to Gurgaldai, wanting to sunder them all from this world. What was the point? She could not escape without Yaha¡¯s help. Better to fight now than wait to be taken to the Spire, to live the rest of her life having watched another loved one suffer while she did nothing to stop it. Tuya stepped forward, ready to charge, when a bare, limp Darrakh stood between her and Tokhun.


    Seeing him, his green eyes, his face like hers, made her pause. ¡°We must follow the commands of the Great Ezen,¡± he said. ¡°Fighting us will not change your dark one¡¯s fate. Only his word could stop us now.¡±


    Tuya straightened her back and untensed her grip on the spear. Her mind scrambled for the right lie, one that would keep Yaha safe, one that would not be revealed as false. The best lies sounded truer than the truth and were ones that could not be disproven by scared men. The best lies became truth in the way they reshaped lives. ¡°As his Chosen, I commune with Gurgaldai ezen Celegan every morning. We linked mere moments ago, before I came here. I shared with him my reasons for what I did. He told me that Tamer Semug was too weak for this world, that I did well to kill him and claim my power as his Chosen. He told me to kill any tamer that interferes with me.¡± Tuya pointed the spear toward Darrakh. ¡°Must I claim my power again?¡± She glared at Tokhun. ¡°Stop now or experience the wrath of the Ezen and his Chosen. If you obey now, I will not tell him of your failures. Delay, and perhaps you too are too weak for this world.¡±


    Tokhun growled, shoving against Yaha as he pushed himself to his feet, took a few strides from her, his erect breeder swinging in front of him. He glared at her, his lust for her flowing from his mind larger than his violator. Tuya circled around Darrakh, gripping her spear as she approached Yaha, not daring to be more than a moment from shifting into empagong form to ward off their assault.


    ¡°What if she lies?¡±


    Tuya spat toward him. ¡°I do not lie, Tamer Yadakh. Why don¡¯t you link with Gurg and tell him you think that his Chosen lies.¡±


    ¡°All khorota are liars,¡± he said. The tamers murmured their agreement, their minds stayed rooted in their skulls, however.


    ¡°Big words coming from you. You who ran away from me yesterday, piss dripping down your leg.¡± The tamers hooted, laughing, mocking their fellow. ¡°Go on,¡± Tuya said, shouting over the din, ¡°Question Gurgaldai ezen Celegan, Tamer Yadakh.¡± Her stomach burned and she wanted to fall to her knees and cry, praying that the tamers were too afraid to seek out their master and risk his wrath. ¡°Do it.¡±


    ¡°Go on, Tamer Yadakh,¡± one of the tamers said. A new tamer, one Tuya knew not the name of yet, one monster out and another one in. ¡°Do it, piss baby.¡±


    ¡°I will do it.¡± Darrakh closed his eyes and Tuya loved him more than ever. No stream of tamer consciousness flowed from his pretty head. Darrakh waited, all eyes on him, several moments before he fell to the ground, shouting and begging for mercy.


    The other tamers, mortified, sieving fear like a broken bowl, like a little girl carrying a weird rock losing all its water back to their tamer, scurried to their hollows, leaving Tuya with Darrakh and Yaha while every eye in every hollow retreated. Darrakh howled in agony, so convincing that Tuya winced with sympathy for his not-suffering.


    ¡°We will leave her alone,¡± he cried out. ¡°We obey! We obey!¡±


    Yaha pulled at Tuya¡¯s hand, trying to get up. Her face was a ruin of its former sharp, dignified features, all swollen and purpled, her strong body covered in bruises and cuts. Tuya sensed her agony as Yaha¡¯s spirit stopped numbing the pain and returning to life. Things were broken inside of her, some would take time to heal, some could never be healed.


    ¡°Come on,¡± Tuya whispered, taking Yaha¡¯s hand. She had to support Yaha¡¯s weight, and the old woman was no fall feather. Tuya strained, tears misting her eyes not for her exertion, leading Yaha away from Darrakh¡¯s feigned convulsions.


    Her beloved tossed around on the ground, frantically spasming, his arms and legs tossing around, his neck whipping to and fro, as he whined and pleaded with obsequiousness incarnate. For Darrakh, she suppressed a smile, trust taking root in her mind, gratitude flowering in her chest. For Yaha, she frowned, helping her limp back to safety, to freedom.

 Chapter Twenty-One: Free

    Tuya and Yaha took respite near the first crevice into the winding trail leading through the dark to their sanctuary, sliding until they sat on the stone, backs against the moist cavern wall. Yaha stared into the void with vacant eyes, an aura of defeat pulsing from her.


    Questions could wait. For now. ¡°I am glad you are home.¡±


    Yaha was long in her response. ¡°This is no home. This is hell. A dark place suited for dark deeds, dark hearts, and dark minds. My home was the Sixty-Four.¡±


    Tuya could not argue with that. She kissed Yaha¡¯s bruised forehead, infusing the touch with Celegana¡¯s strength. ¡°I promise we will leave soon. We will be free of it.¡± One way or the other, Tuya thought.


    Yaha¡¯s curiosity spiked. ¡°You did speak with Gurgaldai?¡±


    ¡°Yes. There will be no staying here.¡±


    Yaha exhaled, relief flowing from her, releasing a tension long held and long feared. ¡°Then we prepare to go, as soon as we can.¡± Yaha groaned, trying to stand on her own, slumping back to the ground. ¡°I wish it was today.¡±


    ¡°We will go soon. Darrakh will be coming with us.¡±


    Yaha¡¯s low emotions bursted into the hot fury of one full of hatred. ¡°That monster showed himself today, Tuya. You must let go of that foolish thought. He is as bad as the rest of them, if Gurgaldai even leaves anything of him. Divinedamned power hungry raper.¡± Tuya laughed. ¡°This is no funny thing, Tuya! You are too smart to be taken in by his acting, and his stupid hair.¡± Tuya laughed louder. ¡°He looks like you but he is not anything like us.¡±


    Tuya tapped Yaha¡¯s shoulder and the woman flinched from her touch. Sorrow tinged her delight to know more than Yaha about a thing, and what a thing to know. ¡°You could not be more wrong! Darrakh saved your life, Yaha. He knew I needed time to get to you so he stalled. He knew I was not going to fight us out of there alive, so he reminded me of the one way out we had. He knew that Gurgaldai could tell them I was lying, so he faked communing with him.¡±


    Yaha¡¯s dumbfounded expression, that gaping mouth of disbelief, brought Tuya blessed moments of joy in an otherwise miserable morning. Perhaps she would finally see and accept that she was wrong about Darrakh. ¡°I spent most of the night with him and he is everything I hoped for. He wants to go to Isihla with me and see the land of our mothers. Darrakh would never hurt me.¡±


    Yaha shook her head, groaning in the pain of moving. ¡°He has tricked his way into your trust. This boy will be the ruin of us, Tuya.¡±


    Always, Yaha had to be right, and Tuya had to be the stupid child in need of a teacher. Always!


    Tuya slid away from Yaha, managing not to slap her already ruined face. Little good that restraint, as she hit her harder with the sting of her tongue. ¡°You always need to be the only one who has my back, don¡¯t you? You cannot imagine sharing that role with someone else? Let alone somebody who did not abandon me last night, leaving me to cry myself to sleep and feel like a failure, somebody who was not stupid and got caught! Somebody who did not have me worrying whether they were dead!¡±


    Yaha shifted, painfully adjusting until her back was to Tuya. ¡°Not everything is about you, Tuya. You let a tamer shove his cock in you and all of a sudden you think you are the center of it all! Miss Chosen, miss special, miss does-whatever-she-wants!¡±


    ¡°Nobody is putting their breeder in me! Nobody! Not Darrakh! Not Gurgaldai! Not Tokhun! Nobody! If it weren¡¯t for me and Darrakh we could not say the same for you!¡±


    Yaha let out a gasping sob, pushed herself to her feet by the sheer force of her anger, and staggered into the crevice. Tuya folded her arms, staying rooted, refusing to give her a light source. Let the stubborn woman stumble naked and broken into the chasm! Let her see who needed who more!


    Angry thoughts stormed in her mind, seeking for ways to hurt Yaha. Perhaps Tuya should let Yaha see how far she could get without her bringing her herbs to ease and treat her wounds, without her lighting the dark place for her, without her to talk to! Perhaps she should let Darrakh put his breeder in her! Perhaps she should blame Yaha for the Mahagan women in the Spire!


    The anger, as if oft did, ran out of trails, leaving Tuya with an aftermath of remorse. After all Yaha taught her, she would leave her to suffer? She would give her own body to a man just to spite her? She would mock the suffering of her people? People who had tried to free Tuya from this place, who lost their loved ones, their lives, who lived in misery?


    Tuya did not like herself very much sometimes. No, she did not like herself much at all right now. But neither did she like how Yaha refused to believe that Darrakh could love her. There seemed no way to be free of these twisted feelings. What good was all her power, the gifts of two goddesses, if she could not find a way to feel free of the ever-looming specter of self-hatred?


    Tuya breathed, like Zaya taught her, slowly in, even slower out. Doing this always made her remember that rainy day where she shared a smile and made a promise to the woman who gave her hope and the purpose that kept her going on the worst days. ¡°I promise,¡± Tuya whispered into the dark. ¡°I will help others fly away, free them from being tamed.¡±


    Tuya closed her eyes and reached out with her consciousness. Thousands voices begged for help, and today, Tuya would help, would use her gifts to stay true to her promises. She could not save them all, but if she could save a couple of them, grant freedom where she could, that would make the world¡¯s pain even just a little smaller. Tamers held to beasts and birds, much like they did to that first giant bird so many years ago. She hoped he lived a good life, enjoying his freedom in the place with the great flower tree across the sea. She hoped he was not alone, questioning his worth, but with those who he loved, savoring the breath of life that she helped him live.


    The sun rose and fell in the sky above while she lurked in the darkness, breaking binds wherever she found them. Losing count, losing herself in the act of delivering freedom, searching for some validation that she was not worthless, not just a hateful creature, trying to silence the remorse. The tamers tried to stop her, tried to cling to their domination, threatened her, some even knew of her, naming her Gurgaldai¡¯s Chosen. She challenged them to demonstrate their strength, to prove they were the mightier, and she severed their links. While some challenged her, brought drops of blood to her nose, she triumphed over and over again, going forth with renewed vigor, taking strength from each victory. Whether it was dozens or hundreds, she went forth, breaking the links that bound those who could not fight for themselves. Every last one severed, whether it took a few heartbeats or a hundred.


    Tuya basked in the gratitude of the beasts and birds she freed, even though few of them had minds as profound as the giant bird of that day of yore. Simpler their thoughts, more primitive their feelings, but it did not matter. The weakest deserved freedom just as the wisest and mightiest did. Freedom was not just for men like Gurg. From the smallest bug in the Hollows to the biggest dragon in the twin isles of fire and ice, every creature had a right to be free, to live their own life. None deserved the captivity that she lived through. Freedom was the right of all, and Tuya decided that enough was enough. She proved to herself that she was the mightiest and would challenge the only one who could equal her, pushing the boundaries this once instead of appeasing and biding her time. Tuya would make pain smaller for those she loved, for those who tried to save her on the worst day of their lives.


    Tuya brought herself back to hell and home. She reached her mind higher, higher, cresting Celegana¡¯s Spire and sought the souls in pain in this place where those with power dominated those without. She found one soul, a mind full of shame, a body ruled by pain, and pressed against her mind. Within, she felt a familiarity, a bond once shared. A beach on distant shores, a place meant to be their greatest achievement turned into their worst nightmare. Blood on a spear, screams that did not escape her mouth.


    Tuya touched the Mahagan woman¡¯s mind. I would make your pain smaller. I will help you be free.


    I remember you, the woman thought. You are the Celegan girl from the beach. The one who brought me back to myself after I¡­


    Tuya knew self-loathing like this. Sarnai¡¯s blood on her hands, just as Rahan¡¯s splattered on this woman¡¯s face, her spear coated in the life of the person who loved her most.


    I am here to help you be yourself again. I am here to free you, friend.


    Nobody can free me now, even if I deserved freedom.


    All those enslaved by the tamers deserve freedom.


    Not me. Leave me be.


    The woman¡¯s mind retreated from her. Tuya needed to help her, her stomach turned, imagining the life this woman led, after being forced to kill her own beloved, losing her friends, losing her dreams, and spending the past few seasons in brutal captivity, enduring the mental, physical, sexual torment of the mightiest tamers in the Hollows.


    Gurgaldai was right about one thing. Harmony was a child¡¯s dream of days long gone. She could never have worked with the tamers, even if Gurg had been malleable. The tamer culture needed to be eradicated, not reformed. Any who condoned or participated in this and did not see how evil it was, deserved the same end as Semug. There would be no mercy for people who did everything they did to this woman and convinced her that she deserved it all. In the end, Tuya¡¯s spear would end Gurg¡¯s wretched existence.


    Tuya pushed harder on the Mahagan¡¯s mind. Let me see your pain and I will judge whether you deserve this life or not. If you do, I will leave you be. If you do not, I will be here, pushing my thoughts onto you, telling you over and over that you deserve better. The woman kept herself closed off and gave rebirth to Tuya¡¯s aggravation. Are all Mahagan women as stubborn as Yaha?


    How do you know the captain was stubborn?


    Is stubborn. Yaha lives with me in the Hollows. She is worried about you and the others.


    There are no others. The sorrow that flowed from the former sailor twisted Tuya¡¯s chest, made it hard to breathe. Seven of us were brought up here. Several moments passed where the woman tried not to think, yet images of faces passed through the link, faces she could not forget, nor the damage done to them before their ends were met. I am the last one.


    Not only suffering, not only convinced she deserved it, but also alone, with none to love her, carrying that guilt of watching your loved ones die while you lived, carrying the pain of having been the one to kill your most beloved, knowing there was nothing you could do to change it, even if you felt you deserved anything other. Tuya knew this woman¡¯s pain in the echoes of her own. The story was always the same in the Hollows, with only the names and faces changing. This needed to end. Tuya shared with her the memories of her life. Being a little girl beaten and brainwashed into thinking everything wrong was her fault. Watching Zaya get dragged away, unable to stop it. Killing Sarnai, the bloody log in her hands, her best friend¡¯s face mashed beyond recognition at her feet. Failing to help little Khula as Jhorgal snapped her spine. Doing everything she could on the beach, but able to save only one woman from Chimaera.


    I know your pain, Tuya transmitted. I would share it with you, so you don¡¯t have to be alone anymore.


    It is worse than that, the woman thought. I killed my beloved, but I kill him again every day.


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    You never killed Rahan. It was the tamer who seized your mind and body that did that.


    No, I lacked the strength to stop the tamer. My spear, my hands, and, I wish that was the worst part.


    What is the worst part?


    Reluctantly, the woman let Tuya in. What she found was a shame more profound than any Tuya ever felt. In her own body, she shook and felt disgusting, like a billion bugs were swarming her, crawling into her skin, eating away at her. She felt irredeemably vile, rotten to the core, anathema, abomination, a heathen deserving of every blow. Never had a more disgusting creature existed than her and nothing could ever make her feel clean again. Certainly not the words of a little girl that never betrayed her lover like she had.


    Tuya knew what it was to feel wrong. Alas, even in her worst, Tuya never approached this level of self-degradation. She looked for the source of such crushing shame, finding it even though the woman refused to project the thoughts.


    This woman killed Rahan, then she broke her vows, her sacred oath, by making love with another man. Most damning of all, the man who touched her, made her feel things she never had with Rahan, and when she looked at him, she could not help but be awed by his masculinity, his might, his majesty. When he was inside of her, Rahan seemed a small hill, barely a bump on the ground, an anthill where low things burrowed. The heights of her pleasure with him eclipsed what came before, tantamount to Celegana¡¯s Spire beside that low anthill. The man seeped into her mind, told her that this was the proof that he was superior, that she never loved the pathetic heathen before him, that she belonged as a slave to him and his breeder, that he was the true conqueror, that he would give her a purpose worthy of her life, give her a child who would grow into a mighty man who fought to make the world one. As her body responded to Gurgaldai¡¯s lust, her mind warped by his words, she convinced herself that what he said was irrefutable. She never loved Rahan. She deserved to be enslaved. Gurgaldai ezen Celegan was the one to claim the world, but especially this lowly woman from Jarahe, especially Renisha.


    Tuya did not hide her truth, she could not hold back the flow of her disgust, not at Renisha, but the one responsible for her shame. Gurgaldai was a monster, no matter how beautiful, no matter whether he could make a woman feel things she did not with other men. He used every thing he could to control, to manipulate, to violate, to make the world an uglier place. She could not let this man win the war, and she was not going to let him win this battle.


    You are coming with me, Tuya projected. I will help you jump from the top and guide you to me and Yaha. You will be yourself again, Renisha.


    Renisha¡¯s doubts burned through the link. This is the fate I deserve.


    It is not! He is controlling you, making you believe lies. It was not you who killed Rahan, but the tamer who stole your mind and body.


    Renisha resisted. Her hand held the spear. Her body responded to the Great Ezen¡¯s manhood. If she truly did not want those things, she would have been strong enough to stop the tamer, her body would not do what it did with Gurgaldai.


    All lies he has made you believe. You cannot stop a mighty tamer from stealing your mind and body, your body cannot control how it responds to touch, especially with him in your mind influencing how you feel, tricking you into thinking you are wrong. There is no love in Gurgaldai, only the will to dominate and make things smaller, less of themselves. This is not you, Renisha. This is him. You loved Rahan and I will prove it.


    Tuya streamed through Renisha¡¯s memories, seeking the love buried within them beneath all the lies and pain. She melded her powers, wilder and lightseer, seeking truth within the warped consciousness. Through layers of self-hatred and shame, she dug down, parting the pain until they emerged from hidden layers of psyche.


    She was a little girl on a beach touched by jungle, watching a boy slide down a muddy hill and drop into the pure waters below, calling her name as he plummeted, telling herself that boy was the one she loved, even if she would make him work to impress her.


    Renisha cried out in their link, Please. I cannot do this.


    You must see the truth, Tuya thought, giving her strength, casting her consciousness in true light, enveloping Renisha in hope and love. You must remember to be free. You can do this, Renisha.


    Drums beat in the night, stars shining down on the whole village dancing in their little serena with all the glowing lanterns hanging from the palm trees. It was a wonderful night for the girl on the precipice of her womanhood. Her friends conspiring with her, telling her she should be the one to make the first advance and quit playing stupid games. The beautiful boy, soaked in sweat, his bald head glistening in the moonlight, laughing with his friends as he stole glances at her. Her heart beating fast, her breath catching as she walked over to him, and reached out her hand. His smile and the rush of love when he took it. Their friends laughed and heckled them but their words were lost in the moment. Fluid movement and air rushing into her lungs, not caring if anything was clumsy, only seeing him, only feeling him and what she felt for him. Only him. The drumbeat steadied and his lips touched her cheek. Her arms around his back, her lips on his cheek. They laughed with each other, joking about the dance, but she knew then, even more than before. He was the one she loved. There would never be another. Only Rahan.


    Renisha cried high at the Spire¡¯s apex. It was the best night of my life until then. We tried to laugh it off, tried to hide what we felt all along. I miss him. I miss him so much.


    Because you love him, Tuya thought to her, crying in the dark of her cave. This is real love, not the illusions he uses to trick your mind, not the reflexes of your body that he manipulates to make you feel wrong.


    Stepping onto the wooden planks, feeling forlorn and empty. Life seemed to be going the wrong way, but there was nothing she could do to stop it, like a wave crashing in from the sea there was nothing she could do but let it hit her. She looked behind her, hoping to see him one more time, while also dreading saying goodbye. He did not come. Her mother, her little brothers, waving from the shore as she stepped onto Pearl of Jarahe. She did this for them, to bring home pride and gold, to keep them fed. She tried not to resent her life drifting away from her heart. Yet, he did not arrive, not on the shore. Trying not to cry, she walked aboard, greeted Captain Jabuloni and thanked him for the opportunity.


    ¡°Thank you for the opportunity,¡± mocked a voice from behind her. Rahan standing there, hands on his hips, letting her know that she was the most junior member of the crew and not him since he got there first. The captain, the entire crew, laughing as she cried and punched Rahan in his shaved chest. The laughs turning to hoots when Rahan kissed her for the first time.


    I was so mad at him, Renisha thought, pulsing with love. Yet, he gave up so much to join Pearl of Jarahe. He chose me over everything else that was laid out for him. I never loved him more. It was not long after that when¡­


    The white shore of Caleel met the Endless Blue. Feet dangling off a pier, watching out to sea, full of dread that this would be the worst moment of her life. What if he drowned? What if all her hopes and dreams were reduced to dust, to tears falling into the Endless Blue? What if? What if? What if? The waiting seemed to last forever, like watching an empagong sleeping, and she cared too much to look away from the Endless Blue. Yet, Rahan was Rahan. A wet hand tapped on her shoulder after watching the sun rise and go beyond the zenith. She twisted her neck, ready to snap at whoever thought to bother her, having already sent away food and drink many times. He stood there, looking the same as he always had, holding the shiny white pearl in his hand, grinning like he just won life. She tackled him, taking him down to the ground, making him sweat as her mouth pressed on his and he fumbled to keep hold of the pearl.


    Pain retreated and happiness filled in the space it left behind. Tuya thought of love, hoping the man who could dive for her pearl was already in her life. Renisha saw clear again, remembered what love was. It was not anything she experienced in the Spire. She did not love Gurgaldai ezen Celegan. There was one man and one man only who dove for her pearl and only one man she ever committed herself to.


    A great climb to the peaks. Her muscles tensed with each leap, each handhold on the stones, each breath strained to find enough air to fill her lungs. Rahan climbed beside her, his naked, Dalis-enhanced body making the movements easy, like that little boy all those years ago climbing to the top of the muddy hill to call her name as he slid down into the Endless Blue. His words of encouragement kept her going, her promise to love him forever burning in her soul hotter than the burning in her fingers as she grasped for higher ground. At last, they arrived at the top. How giddy she was? Years of dreaming of this moment and it felt surreal no matter how many times she went here in her mind. Hands held, lips locked together, tongues seeking for lost treasures, sweaty bodies glistening beneath the clouds, his total embrace for the first time, fitting together like two souls made for this moment. She felt perfect, joined with the other half of her, unified in a way that no man could ever replicate. When she leapt, there were no doubts that the air would rush up and catch her, that her love would be blessed by Zafrir just as his was blessed by Dalis. No fear, no worries, only love and faith. The wind caught her, but long after Rahan already had.


    Tuya¡¯s eyes flashed in the dark, lighting up this memory, banishing away the lies.


    Crying far above, Renisha remembered truth. Thank you. Thank you, my friend.


    Thank you, Tuya answered. I will carry these memories with me forever, Renisha. They will forever remind me of what real love is.


    Renisha gripped at the dirt at the crown of the Spire. I will not let him take these from me again. I will not forget who I love, who I have loved all along. It will help me endure, until it is my turn to be¡­


    You deserve better, Tuya told her. Together, we can make it to the edge of the Spire. You can jump and Rahan¡¯s love will guide you down to the ground again. I will help you come to me, to be with Yaha again. Together, we will be free of them, Renisha.


    Dread emanated from Renisha¡¯s consciousness and Tuya¡¯s hope dwindled. Even if I could reach the end, reach a destination that those better than me failed to, I cannot escape. Renisha gripped at her neck, feeling the vacancy. My pearl is gone. My oath is broken. I would meet nothing but death at the end of that flight.


    Tuya thought, her mind a storm, seeking a way to free Renisha. Yet, making it through the tamers to the edge was already hard enough, getting her through the thousands to reach the ground would be impossible. Neither could she go there on her own, even with Yaha¡¯s help. She could beg Gurgaldai, but he would use that to leverage, possibly to get her to stay in the Spire with him instead. She could not do that, as selfish as that felt. Perhaps, just perhaps, she could get a great flying bird to help, but what were the chances that she could find one willing to head into the stronghold of the tamers, then how could she keep the bird safe from the other tamed, from Chimaera atop the Spire and his lightning ram, from the other tamed birds, while she warded off Gurgaldai¡¯s consciousness? Chances of success were smaller than the smallest bug in the Spire while the risks were as big as the biggest dragon in the twin isles of ice and fire.


    Renisha¡¯s mind co-existed with Tuya¡¯s, pushing into a state of tranquility, a state like a soft rain beside a sky streaked with rainbows, even as Tuya¡¯s stormed and thundered with nonacceptance.


    My friend, Renisha thought, interrupting Tuya as she continued seeking solutions, refusing what was real. You believe you can get me to the ledge?


    Yes, Tuya said, as long as Gurgaldai is asleep. I can keep your mind your own and you can evade the tamers if you wait for the right opening. But¡­


    That is my freedom.


    Tuya could not accept that, even as Renisha found peace in her decision. That is death, Tuya projected.


    No. I remember now what life is. What I am living now is worse than death. I choose to be free.


    Tuya resisted the idea, her mind going back to the cliffs. The last time she acted on a plan to end her own life was the day she met Renisha. Things may change.


    They will not. There is nobody who can help me more than you.


    Rage, hot and bloody, pulsed in Tuya. She wished she could strangle Gurgaldai. Her hands gripped around her legs and pinched until they broke skin. I will stop him.


    I hope you will, Renisha answered, her mind placid, but you will be too late for me.


    Tuya scrambled for a counterpoint, a reason to keep Renisha fighting.


    And you call Captain Yaha stubborn? Amusement passed through the link that was not bidirectional. You must accept your limits, young one. You must accept reality, even when it is not what you want it to be, and focus on changing what you can rather than what you cannot. If you fight everything, you will defeat nothing.


    Tuya reeled, her frustration with Yaha dissipating alongside her urges to keep fighting what she could not defeat. She inhaled and exhaled, like Zaya taught her. She accepted her limits and focused on what she could change rather than what she could not, as Renisha taught her. She did what she could and accepted that it was better than doing nothing at all.


    Tuya carried these lessons, carried Renisha¡¯s memories of love down into the dark place with her not long after. Yaha, impressively, managed to light a fire without any guiding light. The woman sat near it, nursing her wounds and curled up in hides. Her dark eyes looked up at her, her nose taking in a huge breath, her mouth curling downward as she braced for battle, a battle Tuya would not fight. After all, what was the point of fighting battles where you could not win?


    ¡°I needed to try to save them,¡± Yaha said, her words sharper than a spear. ¡°I went to the Spire. I thought if I could find a way in, I could get them out. I watched and waited, seeking any hope of success.¡± She lowered her eyes. ¡°But there was no way I could free them. All I would do was throw my life away, and I have too much to live for to do that.¡± She clutched the furs around her, and eyed Tuya, daring her to challenge her as if she were already in empagong form.


    Tuya sat beside Yaha, shoulder-to-shoulder, setting the woman on edge. ¡°They are all free now, Yaha.¡±


    Yaha¡¯s mouth opened. ¡°Free?¡±


    Tuya nodded and put her arm around Yaha¡¯s back. ¡°Free.¡±


    Yaha fought the sobs at first, her mouth twitching, her eyes narrowing, her body shaking, until she could not fight anymore. She tossed her arms around Tuya, nearly knocking her over, and sobbed.

 Chapter Twenty-Two: Winter

    Winter claimed the land, coating the growing things in white snows, blasting away the last vestiges of life with shrill winds. Yet, even in this season of death, in this place where things were made smaller, many things continued to grow. Among them, was Tuya of the Hollows.


    It seemed to Tuya that she did not have to look up so high to Yaha anymore, and that most of the other women in her region began to look up to her. Her body grew sideways too, gaining and sculpting flesh in her arms, legs, abdomen, and chest. She no longer looked at herself and saw the small helpless girl who would always be overpowered. She saw a warrior.


    Her training with Yaha became less focused on mastering new techniques and more demanding on her body and mind. Every day, she endured many Yaha-isms. Her favorite among them, ¡°You have learned how to wield the weapon. Now you must become the weapon.¡±


    Tuya ran, jumped, spun, danced, and moved her body with spear in hand, pushing herself to the point of physical exhaustion nearly every night. Then she recuperated, eating and drinking more than she thought possible, more than she could have imagined after spending her earliest years subsisting on whatever the tamers allowed her to have. The training and the eating were a release, fighting the battle she could fight now so that she could shift her limits and fight bigger battles later. Not that it was easy. There were times she wanted to lie down and rest, to dwell in the dark and hide, but Renisha¡¯s words stuck with her, allowing her to endure many Yaha-isms, throwing her forward on this path. Her body became a woman¡¯s weapon trained for fight and flight rather than a fearful child¡¯s for freezing like summer flowers in the winter winds.


    Growth was not always unequivocally good. Celegana¡¯s bounties often came with a price. For Tuya, the bittersweetness of her budding femininity gave her more trouble than the changes in height and muscle. First blood was coming and numbroot leaf could not stall it much longer. Whether in spring or summer, her time trickled away, and with it, her ability to evade Gurgaldai¡¯s grasp. She did not welcome the soft flesh budding on her chest and in her hips over her lean warrior body. This growth was a damn inconvenience, and more and more the tamers watched her not just for her face, which grew unwelcome, red bumps in places.


    If not for Darrakh, she would have hated these changes. He called her beautiful as they explored each other¡¯s growing with giddy hands and eager lips. They spoke deep into the night, safe in the dark place after sunset. Kisses and cuddles, growing ever bolder in their touch, but never crossing her final boundary.


    Tuya began to imagine what it meant for a man and woman to join together, with the memory of Renisha and Rahan linking always near. That did not have to be bad, it did not have to be conquest, it did not have to be hateful, it did not have to be pain. It could be pleasure, equality, love, and it could be wonderful. When she thought like this, these changes did not seem so bad.


    The problem was that she did not always think like that. The more she grew to care about Darrakh, the more terrifying trust became. He refused to link minds with her and that fight ended many cold nights of warm cuddling. Yaha¡¯s doubts crept into her, seeking sinister motives for closing his mind. Trust was like walking on a branch overlooking a deadly drop and the branch was one bad step from breaking. She felt like she could fall at any moment, and the fear often overpowered the love, never allowing her to be truly comfortable. Yet, she kept going, not only needing him, but wanting him. The fruit at the end of the branch seemed worth the risk of falling. What maddened her was that trust could have been proven, that she could see whether the branch was surefooted or whether it was hiding rot within, if only he opened his mind to her. This frustration compounded the more Tuya linked with others, wishing that he would let her in just like them.


    Masarga sought her out like a starved child sought out food, merging minds several times each day. The child gained confidence in her wilding, sharing how she found plants and nurtured them with warmth and life in the season of cold death. Masarga¡¯s loneliness dissipated, blown away like all the leaves in the winter, as she learned more of Tuya¡¯s mind and of her own strength. The more she learned to use her strength, the easier it became to believe that she was not wrong. When she froze this truth within her, Tuya felt the cracks in her own soul healing. Love she had been unable to give to herself, she gave to Masarga. Love she had been unable to give to herself since her earliest days, since the day she failed Sarnai and Khula, Masarga gave back to her.


    No more was she the powerful girl that could do nothing with her power. Never again would she let them make her feel weak, thanks to this girl, and the beautiful changes they seeded together.


    On one of the final days of winter, where new snows stayed wherever they came from, where the light shining down through the empty canopy melted the old snows, Tuya devoured roasted mushrooms and snails with a group of women. Her body ached, Yaha choosing to do training in the morning, waking Tuya from a restful sleep to tell her that the body did not get to choose when it needed to fight. She ran the perimeter of their sanctuary a few hundred times, half-awake, while Yaha shouted, ¡°Down!¡± and ¡°Up!¡± forcing her to drop to the ground then spring up and thrust her spear or jump, spin, and slash out with the spear. Often, the wicked woman would issue the commands so fast that Tuya never got to return to a sprint for she was constantly jumping and dropping.


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    Yaha must have been hurt as a child to scheme up such cruelty. When Yaha finally called for a stop, Tuya crashed into the stream and spent an age of her life catching her breath. Each ache, each muscle that got angry when Tuya tried to use them, kept the morning in her mind even though Yaha was not with her, as the woman rarely left the dark place anymore. Yet, those aches subsided, tended by the link she shared with Masarga, as the girl interpreted her thoughts and tried to make pain smaller.


    Eased of pain, Tuya looked up and took in the beautiful sight before her. She shared what she saw with Masarga, showing the world through her eyes. Tamer consciousnesses were colorless to Tuya and they siphoned the vitality of the lives they touched, marring them like smoke would. Were they to pass through a field of flowers, Tuya¡¯s eyes could see the subtle withering, or how the flowers strayed to the side, their stems flexing, and the way their petals grew less saturated with color, as if sick. Like tamer consciousnesses, wilder streams were translucent, varying in size based on the strength of the mind they belonged to. Unlike tamer consciousnesses, the wilder streams enhanced the colors of the world. Mushrooms clinging to cavern walls became deeper browns, yellows, and reds, while moss slithered toward the wilder consciousness, becoming a richer green, only receding when the consciousness flowed away. Best of all, people touched by wilder consciousnesses became more of themselves, their color became richer, giving off auras of the strength lurking within them, and the emotions pulsing from them grew more joyous, more peaceful, more accepting and approving of the world around them. To see what happened when six wilder consciousnesses flowed in the small space around the little fire was to see true beauty, life prevailing in the dead of winter, in the land of hollowed souls.


    Season after season, Tuya saw the misery left behind by the tamers, imbalanced by the absence of the wilders. At last, she saw the world at its best, if only in this small circle of six. To the world, Tuya, Masarga, Enkhti, Berude, Seruun, and Ibakha were just six girls sitting around a fire in the snow, eating in isolation, as it had always been in the Hollows. The tamers did not see them sharing the food they found using their wilding strength nor could they see the flow of their consciousnesses, streaming from one to another, branching off into three pairs and restoring color to the world around their little fire.


    Was there anything more beautiful than six girls sitting around a fire, none of them who were able to give love to themselves until they learned they could love somebody like them? Six girls sitting around a fire, learning to believe that trying their best was the greatest thing they could ever do and was all that Tuya hoped for them? Six girls sitting around a fire, learning that they were not wrong, that the lies they were taught were the true wrongness? Six girls who made each other more of themselves?


    We are beautiful, Masarga projected, mind melded with Tuya.


    You know, Masarga, you did this. You taught them to link. You taught them how to listen to the wild, to find the surviving mushrooms and make them more of themselves. You seek them out when they are getting yelled at and stay with them when they are scared. You let them know how loved they are and how love is only a thought away. You are responsible for this beauty. You are the beauty itself.


    Joy streamed from Masarga to Tuya, joy and pride. This little girl, many seasons from her first blood, mattered. Best of all, she knew it. She was not healed from every wound. Masarga still got scared, still cowered, still froze and made herself small when the tamers neared her, still had moments when she thought the worst would happen, or when she gave all the credit to Tuya, and that was alright because she kept going, kept trying her best, kept finding hope and sharing love, and knew now she did not need to be perfect to not be wrong.


    Now, where once was only dread, youthful hope bloomed, and it was more beautiful than anything Tuya ever grew.


    That beautiful mind with those beautiful thoughts reached out to Tuya. I like to imagine the Hollows where we all do this, where every khorota is connected so that we are never alone.


    We six are the seed that will grow into that great tree, Tuya projected. Long after I am gone, after you are gone, the seed we plant today will continue to grow, whether in the hardest of winters or the most bountiful springs. So, my little seed, keep being you, keep making others more of themselves, and know that I will always be proud of you, that I love you, that you were never a mistake.


    I was never a mistake, Masarga believed, a seed grown into the most wonderful flower after a season of nourishment. I am doing my best and my best will never be wrong.


    Tuya projected a mental embrace, a vision of her arms wrapping around Masarga, of the love she felt. She would be to Masarga as Zaya was to her and Masarga would be to others as Tuya was to her. After centuries of being held down, of being told lies about who they are and what they are worth, the women of the Hollows would return through this growing cycle of love and connection. In this place of pain and emptiness, they would learn to make pain smaller and stay connected, they would become whole. Tuya saw it with clear vision. Six girls sitting around a fire. This was how the wilders would return.

 Chapter Twenty-Three: Spear

    ¡°I have seen enough. Open your eyes, Tuya.¡±


    Tuya opened her eyes and inhaled. The sweat coating her body was not as profuse as usual. A blessing indeed. ¡°So? What was the point of that?¡±


    Yaha¡¯s twisted grin boded of trickery and mischief, like she made a fool of Tuya by having her do drills tonight with her eyes shut. She ordered Tuya through all fourteen forms. Tuya moved through lion form, squatting low and pouncing into a flurry of thrusts. She held empagong, standing firm, digging in her heels, and knocking aside Yaha¡¯s strikes with sound and instinct alone to guide her. She shifted into wind form, jumping and striking forth with light feet. She flowed into water form, dancing and dodging with graceful feet and flowing into precise counters. Tuya went through the other ten forms like they were a part of her and always had been.


    Why do it without her eyes? Tuya wanted to decipher that grin and make sense of this nonsense. Alas, Yaha being, well, Yaha, she expected the mystery to drag on, for her to try to unsettle Tuya and make her lose her patience. It was working.


    ¡°You are ready,¡± Yaha said, with as much ceremony as if announcing the snails were done roasting.


    ¡°Ready for what?¡±


    ¡°Everything, Tuya.¡± Yaha put her hands on Tuya¡¯s shoulders, kneeling to her level. ¡°Your body has become a weapon, Tuya of the Hollows, and you know how to wield it. You are a spear.¡±


    ¡°I ¡­ am ¡­ a spear?¡±


    Yaha nodded, vigorously, that lovely smile where her teeth flashed white against her dark face. ¡°You are. One that will protect and one that will destroy. Wield yourself well, Tuya of the Hollows. You. Are. A. Spear.¡±


    I am a spear. Such a powerful thought. Such an unimaginable concept. I am a spear. Yet, Yaha¡¯s proud smile, the sweat on her body, the welts and bruises too, the memories of hard days and nights, of blood, of the feeling of power when she held the weapon, they accumulated. This little girl who hid and made herself small was gone. She would wield herself, as she did with Semug. Tuya was a spear.


    ¡°I remember the days where we took one step forward and two steps back. Now, every day, you are running up a hill and I cannot slow you down.¡±


    Yes. I remember those days too. Days of doubt. How long has it been since I felt that way about the spear? About myself? Seasons changed and Tuya could not remember how long it had been since she felt stagnation. She thrived with the spear, with her eyes, with the wilding. She was so proud of the little girl who kept pushing through the doubts, through the setbacks, both those made by the traps in her own mind and those thrusted upon her by the world.


    ¡°I am proud,¡± Yaha said, her voice breaking, her eyes welling with good water. ¡°It has been an honor, Tuya of the Hollows, to be your spearmaster. You passed your final test and have proven that you are worthy of the title of Mahagan Spear.¡±


    ¡°Thank you, Yaha.¡± Tuya let the tears flow down her cheek. So, this is what it is like. To have a mother proud of you. I like this feeling. She wondered whether the others would be proud of how she spent the last several seasons. Would Zaya be happy with her? She believed it to be true. Would Sarnai? Definitely. Her own birth mother? She hoped so. She hoped that the girl she died to birth would make her proud, proud like this. Tuya let out a sob, and for once, this crying did not feel like it came from pain.


    ¡°You will drive tyrants to their knees,¡± Yaha said, sniffling, ¡°and when you do, tell them I sent you.¡±


    Tuya put her hand on Yaha¡¯s. ¡°Tell them yourself, Yaha. We do this together.¡± Tuya leaned into her and put her head against the taller woman¡¯s shoulder. ¡°I love you, Yaha.¡±


    Yaha closed the embrace. ¡°And I would go to the bottom of the sea for you, Tuya. I will do whatever it takes to get you out of here, even if it means I must never see the white shores again.¡±


    Tuya shook her head. ¡°Don¡¯t talk like that.¡±


    ¡°How do we defeat a chimaera?¡± Yaha demanded, once more the stern instructor rather than the proud mother.


    ¡°We do not,¡± Tuya rehearsed, her voice dropping. ¡°We need a Volqori dragon knight, a Leverian master cognitive-affectomancer, or several phenomenal warriors with meladonite weapons.¡±


    Yaha nodded, comporting herself with a few breaths. ¡°Yes, Tuya. Even then, they can fail. Never has the world seen mightier warriors than the Gidiites and they had no shortage of meladonite. Dragons can be blasted out of the sky by the ram¡¯s storm and cognitive-affectomancers cannot outrun a chimaera.¡±


    ¡°Why must you remind me of this now?¡±


    ¡°Because you will always be hunted, Tuya. Because...¡± Yaha sighed the heaviest sigh this world may have ever known. ¡°Listen to me now, girl. I am not the one who can break tamer minds. I am not the one who shines hope into darkness. I am not the one who nurtures what is withered. I am not the one who can protect the Hollows, or the Isles, or all the lands threatened by the chimaeras.¡± Yaha jabbed at Tuya¡¯s chest with her finger, driving this spearpoint into her heart. ¡°I am not the one who must go on!¡±


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    ¡°You are not as useless as you think. You are not useless to me.¡± She hated that this moment turned from joy to sorrow. Why was this always the way of her life? Why could nothing ever just be good and stay that way?


    Yaha shook her head, her eyes wet. ¡°I am a spear, Tuya. Like the spear that is used in training, my life will not be pointless either, even after my point dulls or breaks. Because you held me, because you learned what you could from me, I have become worth more than I ever imagined I could be. Like a spear, if I must break so that you can go on, then I have served my purpose.¡±


    Tuya shook her head, shook her whole body in firm disapproval of Yaha¡¯s sacrificial fantasy. ¡°You would be another mother who leaves me behind with all these promises, with all this responsibility, without you to help me.¡±


    Yaha clenched her jaw shut, her mouth drawing into a line as more water pooled in her eyes. ¡°I would be a mother who died so her daughter could live! Would you ask any other mother to let their child die? Would you ask any child to die just because their mother died? You would have us both die and let Gurgaldai have his victory!¡±


    Tuya threw up her arms. ¡°I would have us both live! You speak as if there is no other way! You do not get to take the easy way out, Yaha! You chose this life with me that day on the shore! I did not save you so you could toss yourself away like a broken spear when things got too hard!¡±


    ¡°Tuya of the Hollows! We! Cannot! Defeat! A Chimera!¡±


    Tuya crossed her arms, turned off the light her eyes emitted, and leapt into the water, letting the cool chill try to abate the rising heat of her anger. Always this! Always Yaha must be the cynic!


    Even in her anger, Tuya could sense Yaha¡¯s mind working hard to rein in her fury, her desperation to make this point, to give Tuya one more lesson before she would not be there. Yaha succeeded, her scream turning into a soft plea. ¡°Gurgaldai ezen Celegan took my world away from me. I refuse to let him take the world away from everyone else. When the chimaeras come, you must go on. Promise me, Tuya. Promise me that if a chimaera closes in, you will leave me behind. Promise me that you will go on after I am gone.¡±


    Promise me, Tuya. She closed her eyes, lowered her head into her hand, and wept. She wept for Yaha, for Zaya, for Sarnai. Tuya wept for all the mothers of the Hollows. She wept for Masarga who would lose her mother and, yes, she even wept for her birth mother who had to give away her daughter, and likely paid her life for birthing her. Once more, she was a little girl in Zaya¡¯s arms, being asked to make a promise for a reality she could not accept. Being asked to let go, to carry on. Tuya was tired of letting go, tired of carrying on alone. Was there nothing in this world that she could hold on to? Nobody that she could carry along with her? No. She could not accept this. She would not!


    Tuya would not let Yaha die like she did Sarnai! She would not let Yaha leave her as Zaya did! A part of her knew it was folly, but she refused to accept that a chimaera could stop them. That day on the coast, all those seasons ago, and the raw indestructibility of the chimaera demanded her acknowledgement. Yet, she refused to even consider it. They would not encounter the chimaera for their plan would work. Even if they did, they would find a way to evade or kill it. She would not accept anything else.


    Tuya opened her eyes, her heart still, and her mind firm. ¡°I cannot make that promise, Yaha.¡± Yaha lowered her head and held it in her hands, shaking it as if Tuya could not see her disappointment without looking at her face. ¡°The day we met, you promised to never give up on me. I hold you to that promise. We will escape. Me, you, and Darrakh. We will leave before Gurg even knows we are gone. We will flee to where no chimaera can find us.¡±


    ¡°I hope you are right,¡± Yaha said. Tuya did not need to link with her to know Yaha did not believe.


    There was silence save for the small rush of the stream. Tuya, dampened, let her thoughts drift away, seeing nothing but the wall ahead of them where the water rushed out into the ocean below. The ocean where last they fought Chimaera on the beach.


    ¡°How is your boy, Pelianna?¡±


    Tuya perked up. Yaha spoke in Leverian, as they usually did in their grotto. It had been many days since she learned a new word. She seized the distraction with no small enthusiasm. ¡°What is a Pelianna?¡±


    Yaha¡¯s cheeks were puffy and high, her eyes wide and bright, with her top teeth showing. Her impassive tone of voice a jarring contrast to her mischievous smile. ¡°A story for another day. When you are older.¡±


    Tuya groaned, narrowed her eyes, and crossed her arms over her chest. ¡°You will not have to worry about chimaeras, Yaha, because I will be turning off the light and leaving you in this cave!¡±


    Yaha¡¯s belly laugh rumbled off the walls, echoing in Tuya¡¯s ears, in her heart. She chuckled at that wide grin and felt her cheeks rising.


    ¡°I see my diplomacy lessons have been taking hold,¡± Yaha said, once her laughing subsided.


    ¡°Yes, Yaha, I am learning how to be insufferable. Thank you.¡± Tuya bowed.


    Yaha pinched Tuya¡¯s cheek. ¡°And you are welcome. With a face like yours, you can get away with it.¡±


    ¡°Ha ha ha.¡±


    Yaha¡¯s hand slid from cheek to shoulder, and her smile lit Tuya¡¯s soul. ¡°Speaking of your cute face, why don¡¯t you run along now. Go talk to your Elior, my precious Pelianna.¡±


    Two new words in one day. ¡°My Elior?¡±


    ¡°A story for¡ª


    ¡°Another day.¡± Tuya made her voice as stupid as she could, trying to imitate that musical Mahagan lilt, ¡°When you are older.¡±


    Yaha gaped at her, mouth wide, before launching into another belly laugh. Tuya took her exit, showing the woman her back before she could rein in the laughter and rebut. No, the best move was to not relent on the attack, to keep driving while your opponent was on their back foot. Such was the way of the spear, the way of Captain Yaha of the Sixty Four. ¡°Am I older yet?¡±


    ¡°Not yet.¡± Yaha chuckled. ¡°But you will be soon. I fear.¡±


    Tuya sighed, her mind dwelling on the last two words Yaha whispered.


    ¡°Good luck, Tuya. I suggest you bring your spear. Just in case.


    ¡°I am the spear,¡± Tuya turned back, filling the cavern with hundreds of glowing specks of silver light that would shine long after she left, ¡°thanks to you.¡±

 Chapter Twenty-Four: Gnats

    Darrakh claimed her hands beneath a clear, starry sky, a full moon shining iridescent and blue above the Hollows. His verdant eyes lit in the moonlight, and she could see stars in them, as her eyes reflected off his. In harmony, they smiled. Joy, purified and true, emanated from his mind and resonated within her. That lovely flutter in her chest as she looked ahead and saw their future in the faraway lands, followed by the doubts, those ever-present gnats circling around her dreams. One way or another, tonight she would know where they were headed. Tuya tried not to think of the spear she stowed in the cave behind them. She put every hope in her trust, every faith that he felt the same as her, and was willing to seize their future from the grasp of Gurgaldai ezen Celegan.


    Darrakh got off to a fantastic start, merging his lips with hers. Darrakh pulled her to him, his lips slid off her mouth and he nibbled on her neck, sending shockwaves through her body. Desire tingled in her sensitive places, made her feel so hot that she would burn up if she did not have more and more. Her hands darted up and down his body, traveling to faraway lands she never dreamt of before him. He groaned as she pulled on him, tugging and tugging. His lips trembled on hers, his arms went weak, and she dove into his mouth with her tongue, tasting him like he was the sweetest nectar. For a few hundred sprinting heartbeats, she thought not of the spear. At least not of the one in the cave behind her.


    Darrakh convulsed, struggled to stifle his groaning, and his whole body felt a release that she wished she could share, mentally, physically, spiritually. Missing out on that linking, that absolute harmony, her doubts returned. Those damned gnats. She tried to swat them away, tried to enjoy the precious moment she shared, tried to think of leaving this place behind so that they could more fully meld, the way Renisha did with Rahan. How she wanted that now.


    Instead, she thought of the worst reason he might not link with her. She knew he loved her, that was evident without linking, that could not be faked, at least not in a way her wilding could not detect. No, at the end of the night, she could not banish the dread that he still belonged to his old masters, to Gurgaldai, that this was just some sick test that he set forth for his Chosen. If that was true¡­


    Darrakh caressed his forehead against hers, rubbing their noses together. He giggled, oblivious to the storm raging inside of her, of the doubts and the fears of how this conversation would end. It flashed in her mind, blood on the tip of her spear, splattered on her face, just like Semug. Instead, this time it was Darrakh¡¯s gurgles, his eyes full of hatred, his mind raging at her as his body died.


    ¡°You are my life, Tuya,¡± he said. ¡°I wait every day for the big lightmaker to go to sleep, so that I might finally be awake. With you, I am myself. With you, I am alive.¡±


    Tuya backed away from him, visions of his death, of her spear run through his heart, refusing to leave her. She looked down, gagging as she suppressed the urge to vomit. Now or never, Tuya told herself. Now or never. She felt the changes in her body, knew that soon there would be no more time. So nauseous. So sick. So scared. She hated feeling this way, hated putting her trust in somebody she could not link with. Yet, she had no choice, either in the love she felt, or the role she needed him to perform. Yet, she could not do it. She could not speak the words, could not risk losing him and never having another night like this.


    Darrakh ran his hands through her hair, brushing out the tangles and lightly scratching her scalp. She breathed in, savoring this feeling, even more not wanting to lose him, lose this sensual care. The gnats circled her mind, nipping at her, swelling her doubts. A part of her was certain of how this would end. The other part of her was certain she could not go through with it. She reasoned with herself. Not now. Never, if it must be so. Not now. I cannot do it.


    ¡°What is wrong, Tuya?¡±


    The sweet tone of his voice, made as soft as a Celegan voice could be, oozed compassion. He loved her. He loves me. At once, she knew he would never hurt her. He only wanted to make her pain smaller. He was already hers as much as she could make him and she was already his. A hundred meetings much like this one bound them together with love and care for each other. He knew her story and she knew his. Darrakh¡¯s reasons for wanting to leave the Hollows were, if anything, stronger than her own.


    Never would she thought she could feel grateful to be a woman in this land, preferring her suffering to the life of a boy. From his early days of being taught to hate everyone and everything, to how they beat him if he lost battles with mind or body, how they compelled him to hurt other children, how they punished mercy and kindness, and, ultimately, how they forced him to rape and kill the woman who fed and cared for him. When he failed to get erect, his master seized control of him and¡­


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    Tuya did not want to think of such things, even though she was grateful to know, to understand. In a world like this, monsters like Makhun and Gurgaldai were to be expected. It was a miracle that Darrakh retained his ability to feel compassion and his compassion was not a lie. For seasons, he was enslaved in the Spire, wanting to get out but unable to do anything, anything until...


    ¡°You can tell me what is bothering you, Tuya.¡± Darrakh brushed her cheek, every touch tingling with the irrefutable sensation of his love. ¡°I want to make your pain smaller.¡±


    ¡°Tell me again,¡± her voice quaked, ¡°how you were released from the Spire.¡±


    ¡°I was watching you through the eyes of a gull.¡± He swallowed, sorrow flowing off his mind. ¡°You were on the edge of a cliff, looking down at the rocks far below. I ¡­ uhh ¡­ I watched you many times. I saw your suffering, saw how you tried to help others before that, before Sarnai. You fascinated me, Tuya, and I wanted to help you but never saw a way I could do it.¡± The pain in his voice tore at her, pulling sadness to the rims of her eyes, swatting away gnats. ¡°I could not let you do it, let you leap. It was me who told Gurgaldai that his Chosen was on the edge of the cliff.¡±


    ¡°You did everything you could to save my life.¡± Tuya pressed her lips to his cheeks, kept her head pressed against his. If she could not trust this man, who could she ever trust? A person could not live without trust, not even her. ¡°You are my hero, Darrakh.¡±


    He shivered, refusing to meet her eyes now. ¡°I don¡¯t feel like a hero. I feel like I have never done any good thing in my life. The Great Ezen only released me from the Spire so that I could keep my eyes on you, make sure you don¡¯t return to the cliffs.¡±


    ¡°You are not the man they force you to be, but the man you want to be. That is why you are the man I love.¡±


    ¡°I do not deserve your love after all I have done.¡±


    Tuya shook her head, putting her fingers on his lips to silence these lies he told himself. ¡°Should I not deserve you because of Sarnai¡¯s death? Once, I would have thought so, but just like you, I could not stop what happened. I have learned that the responsibility for her death belongs to Makhun. In fact, I did everything I could, even in that horrible situation, to make her pain smaller.¡± Tuya¡¯s eyes watered. ¡°I still miss her and I still wish that it had never happened. That day still haunts my dreams and whenever I see the paintaker flower with those pretty sky-colored petals with the sun-yellow center, I think of her,¡± Tuya swallowed, ¡°and I mourn her again.¡±


    Tuya gripped Darrakh¡¯s hands, squeezing tight, letting Celegana¡¯s strength flow into him, willing him to be his truest self rather than wilt under the weight of what they made him do. ¡°But when I blamed myself, when I thought all I deserved was pain, you saw me. Even then at my worst, you wanted me to live. You thought I deserved love, even when I wished I had never been born.¡±


    Tuya released a choked sob. Darrakh wrapped his arms around her, pulling her so close that she felt so certain that he would never let her go. ¡°Don¡¯t tell me you do not deserve me,¡± Tuya cried. ¡°We are allowed to be happy and make each other happier.¡±


    ¡°I hear you, Tuya,¡± he whispered into her ear. ¡°I will try to believe as you do. It is hard when¡ª¡±


    ¡°¡ªGurg released you from the Spire and compelled you to keep me safe.¡± She lifted her head off his shoulder and pressed it against him, noses touching and eyes so close. Tuya intertwined her fingers with Darrakh¡¯s. ¡°But he did not force you to care about me, to love me, or to make my sky brighter. You have chosen to do that yourself, Darrakh.¡±


    He nodded, eyes down. ¡°I care about you more than I could ever care about myself, Tuya. I value your life above my own.¡± He looked up at the sky, eyes toward the Spire. ¡°I do not do that for the ezen. I do it because I love you.¡±


    Tuya stifled her irritation, fresh off her conversation with Yaha. She did not want another person planning to sacrifice themselves for her. She wanted a companion for life. ¡°I want to be with you for all of our days,¡± she said. She breathed in, trusting herself. ¡°Fly away with me, Darrakh. Be with me forever.¡±


    Darrakh¡¯s hands trembled, her fingers wrapped between his. She gave him strength, seeing the flow of their father¡¯s goddess, her own fingers, her everything shaking, on edge. She tried not to think about the spear, but the spear refused to be ignored. Please say yes. Please. Her eyes teared, again. I cannot lose you too.


    Clouds passed between them and the moon, cloaking them in shadow. Shadows did not linger forever and almost as soon as it came, the light found a way down to them, basking them in its glow. Tuya did not let go. Neither did he.


    ¡°When do we leave?¡±


    Tuya laughed, and laughed, and then cried. She tossed her arms around him, so grateful, so happy, so relieved. The spear could stay where it was, and stay out of her thoughts. Farewell, loathsome gnats! She kissed him, tackled him to the ground, and they tumbled, rolling over each other until she landed on top, cloaking their faces in her hair. She felt at perfect harmony and looked forward to feeling this way until the end of her days.

 Chapter Twenty-Five: Discord

    He came again at the end of summer, pushing down into the dark place one evening, invading her sanctuary of silver light, her grotto of growth where the mushrooms and numbroots flourished, where the clear water ran through and delivered shrimp and fish and so many bounties, where no tamer came before. Tuya floated in the stream, trying to battle the heat and heavy air, practicing her leg kicks to try and unclamp her cramped muscles while Yaha bantered about how Tuya would need her own cognitive-affectomancer to chase her around to keep her cool were they in the Isles.


    If only Tuya could have stayed in that carefree moment where she mimicked Yaha¡¯s belly laugh and barraged her with a volley of Yaha¡¯s complaints of being too cold in the winter. If only she could have savored the joy of her mother¡¯s face twisting into disarray as if she had swallowed a bug. If only she could have left before the devil even knew she was gone. If only.


    There could be no mistaking the consciousness of Gurgaldai ezen Celegan. It was the Spire beside hollows and the saplings, dwarfing every other mind she ever saw, all the blessing she cultivated in her sanctuary veering aside, but still subsumed in the withering presence of this mightiest of minds. Tuya reacted, her mental walls erected and reinforced as she braced for invasion.


    ¡°Gurg!¡±


    The Ezen¡¯s mind collided into her walls, penetrating and pushing through them, like a fist pushing into a spider¡¯s web, folding it inward. Tuya strained, feeling the blood rush to her head and flow from every orifice. Gurg was angry, but she was too focused on keeping him out to make any sense of his feeling, or even to grasp at any of his thoughts. She lost sight of everything, of the sanctuary, of Yaha, of herself. Everything was a blur as she warded her mind from him.


    Tuya held weakly to her self, trying not to lose it, desperately trying not to go to the place of pure abyss where he took his victims. Like fingers slipping on the cliff¡¯s edge, she felt herself letting go, and soon the fall, and with it everything she built for herself would come crashing down in an instant. With one final grunt, blood rushing from her eyes, nose, ears, and mouth, she pushed, repelling him with every last fragment of her fractured will.


    Breathing heavy, her body pains of moments ago mere inconveniences besides the strain on her exhausted mind, she opened her eyes and saw him, spiraling around her, but not attempting to breach. Yet.


    Tuya did not feel like herself, did not feel anything but the lethargy. If he came again, he would find no wall, only an opening into her soul, and, all her secrets.


    Chosen.


    One word, one thought, conveying with it so many feelings. Gurg¡¯s respect, his desire, his regret, and his hate. Above them all an anger, and lurking underneath it, always concealed by the wrath, was the sadness, the sorrow, the isolation. Tuya knew his mind as well as anyone in this world, perhaps better even than he knew it himself. What she did not know was why today? Why anger? Why not when she helped Renisha leap? Why not last season, when she began training wilders in secret, or when she told Darrakh about her plans to escape? Why now?


    She gave him one word, one thought, conveying with it so many feelings. Her respect, her desire, her regrets, and, yes, her hate. Above them all was fear, fear of his anger, and concealed beneath the fear, her sadness, her sorrow, her lament for what could have been if only he were able to see. Gurg.


    He knew her mind, even if he did not breach and seize her secrets. They both knew the sorrow underneath it all, the desire that things could have been different between them, that the world could be saved if only the other could see it through their eyes. Alas, Tuya¡¯s eyes were her own and Gurg¡¯s his. They saw the futures ahead of them, the one they must take, and the one they must not for it led straight to the end of everything dear to them. They knew this. Tuya accepted it, many cycles of the moon ago, when they last communed. She harbored no hopes for this man. Not anymore. Those dreams were buried beside the bodies of all the people he killed and could not be exhumed. One path was before her, and she prayed to her divine mothers that Gurg did not breach her consciousness and see just how far gone she already was from him.


    They say that you have bloomed, that you have grown more beautiful than any other.


    Tuya bristled, more confused, but also irritated. This man chose her, and yet, this was only the second time he sought her in all the years since that day he chose her, and the only other time was to stop her from leaping to her death. She did not miss him and she would prefer it no other way. For all that, the way he ignored her often made her think of him, made her question whether he wanted her, made her want more of him, even if she thought that part of her supremely foolish. She could have ignored that jilted little girl inside of her, pretended it was not there, yet here she was. And yet, you have never come to see me. One time we met, the seasons have cycled many times, and still, you never come. Not once. Instead, you rely on the eyes of your lessers. One might wonder why she was chosen.


    Gurg was quiet for a while, though the pulse of his rage softened, much to her surprise. Just when she thought she knew him, he felt comforted by confrontation. Why? She thought to herself, trying to make sense of this man she thought she understood. Why does he leave me? Why does he like that I challenged him for leaving me behind?


    I must do so, Gurg projected. I could not risk being near you before you are ready for me.


    Why, Gurg? What risk could there have been in spending a few days together? In getting to know each other, in seeing from each other¡¯s eyes? You left me to myself when you could have been by my side.


    Gurg thought, his sorrow rising above everything else now, muting his anger until it seemed he was sadness incarnate.


    You can tell me, Tuya said. I want to understand you. While that was true, she thought to herself, it was no longer for the purpose of achieving harmony. No. Nothing would come of their communion but discord, and still, she wanted to understand what made this man the monster he was.


    Come to me and I will show you.


    Tuya froze. Knowing him was not worth the risk of him knowing her. The moments passed between them, Yaha watching Tuya with big eyes, eyes blind to the swirling consciousness that filled their grotto and spread sorrow through them as a faint hope extinguished within Gurgaldai ezen Celegan. Gurg¡¯s anger rose from the ashes of that fire, as fierce as ever, pushing down sorrow until it was in its proper burial place, always there and never truly dead, like fingers grasping from beneath the muddy lies of the world¡¯s most dangerous man.


    You will stop chewing those leaves now, Gurg said. You have grown strong enough, made me wait long enough. Too long. The day of your first blood, you will be delivered to the Spire with your dark woman and any of your little friends that you would have. If you are ready to honor Celegana and make the world one again, I will let them live out their seasons as your claimed. If you resist, they will be given to my tamers, with orders to make their suffering slow and thorough.


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    Tuya beamed, her eyes going bright, hope flaring in her. No numbroot leaves had been in Tuya¡¯s mouth since the day Darrakh agreed to leave with her, and, Darrakh knew that. Trust, ever balancing on that high branch that might hide the most treacherous of falls, at last felt secure. No doubt Gurg could sense her hope as their minds shared this space. Honing in on her hope, her trust toward Darrakh, and the truth that she would not use numbroot leaf, she answered, It shall be done, Gurg.


    His pulse was confused, and again, that tiny flicker of hope was lit, diverting rage into hope and paranoia. She knew the color of those feelings well enough to sense them from the man who commanded all and trusted none, the man who believed it was his divine mandate to save the world. In this, she expected nobody else in the world could understand her as well as him.


    You understand what you must do?


    Tuya wanted to lie, to tell him what he wanted to hear, to give herself time to escape. She almost willed the thought to him, but she knew better. Knew better than to insult his intelligence, to give him the reason to assault her walls again. She would not hold out against another taming attack. No. Lying was not her way.


    I have not changed my mind. She inhaled. There was no stopping now. She needed to see this through even if there was no hope. For better or worse. Harmony is better than discord. That is what will make us whole again. This is what I will spend my life trying to achieve.


    Once more, Tuya shared her visions of wholeness. Tamers and wilders working in unison. Celegana¡¯s land flourishing as nature¡¯s perfect balance was restored, as they gave back to Celegana what the tamers took, achieving symbiosis with Celegana and with themselves. Every person playing their part, but free to be themselves. Chimaeras roaming the borders of the Hollows, unified with the mighty tamers, men like Gurg, that linked with them, protecting Celegana¡¯s sons and daughters from the threats of faraway lands. Women nurturing the wild, women like Tuya, giving Celegana¡¯s strength to the land, listening to her cries, and soothing the wrongness and making everything more of itself.


    Her vision expanded, showing the vastness of their harmony, of the happiness shared by all. Tamers gathered from the beasts, stripping them of hide and meat, even as the wilders soothed the frenzies of the untamed, as they found the ripest berries and made the withering plants strong and full of life. The men did not spend all their days seeking domination and hating. They laughed and shared amongst themselves, never needing to fear who would try to overpower them and take what they worked so hard to provide for themselves. Little boys were not carried away to the Spire where they would be forced to kill to live because every one of them had worth and place in this society, for that was the true spirit of wholeness. The women did not hate themselves, they did not spend their days believing they were wrong and that they were mistakes even to be born. They were able to love. Love themselves, love each other, and, love the tamers who were their other halves. They kissed and danced, sharing their lives, their joys, their sorrows, their hopes, and their fears. There was no loneliness in this world. Mothers, fathers, children, communities, all were there and all were true to Celegana.


    Tuya formed the image of she and Gurg sharing Munderra, of holding hands and kissing, even of making love and sowing the seeds of their future. Those seeds grew into a son and a daughter, strong saplings that grew before their eyes, from hearty babes, to smiling kids, to hardworking adolescents, to responsible and loving adults that would carry their vision forward, shaping the Hollows into this future of wholeness and harmony. At the end of it all, Tuya and Gurg, two people unlike any other and exactly like every other, looked down on the world they created with whole hearts full of love, with the pride of knowing they made pain smaller, and did the best they could.


    Gurg took in these thoughts, a seething ocean of sorrow caressed by undulating waves of repulsion and hope. I wish it could be, he admitted. Tuya sensed the world¡¯s loneliest man trying not to cry from the world¡¯s highest seat.


    She reached her mind toward his, on the verge of linking. She wanted to make his pain smaller, to love him, to will this world into being. Yet, for once, Tuya sought light and found none. She could not see a future where this man changed, could not risk everything she would lose by linking with him. Her consciousness pulled back, and he knew it. Tuya knew then, there was no going back. She made her choice and he confirmed his.


    His fury flowed to her, unbidden and unwanted. There is only one way forward, even if it is one of discord. I will make the world one!


    Giant men, Gidiites, their large metal weapons rending the harmonious people of the Hollows into viscera. Linked wilders and tamers, severed, men enchained and taken away screaming while their woman were thrown to the ground and raped. The happy children of her vision crying as they were placed in metal desecrations, yelled at, whipped, and separated from father and mother. Celegan men, fighting to break free, trying to tame the beasts, only to be oppressed by the khorota who now belonged to the Gidiites.


    You would have us return to this!


    Tuya did not fight him. There was no point anymore. No point in anything but flying away to the faraway lands and leaving this man behind. He would never see anything other than this. There would be no harmony for Gurgaldai ezen Celegan. Only discord. She waited, making her feelings small, keeping her thoughts within, as he flooded her with his future.


    This is what we must be!


    Chimaeras burst into her mind, lion head roaring, ram head spitting lightning, snake head hissing venom. People of all shapes, colors, and sizes, men, women, children from lands near and far, fell to the three-headed beast. The graceful and golden people of the Heiyan Savannah, the red folk of the Great Atmana Forest, the sand-shaded and small people of the Isihlan deserts, the sun-tinted people of the Kavovan jungles, dark folk of the Mahogany Isles, the fair people of Leveria, and, finally, the dragon folk of Volqor. The chimaeras did not stop, unleashing death to them all just as Chimaera had upon the beach seasons ago. Societies devoured and trampled, old stones shattered, wooden desecrations torn apart, great bastions of the faraway lands depleted of their belongings. The destruction was paramount, leaving nothing behind but the sanctity of Celegana¡¯s land, a land drenched in blood.


    You will be a part of this, Tuya! This is our divine right!


    Her all-encompassing hatred did not need to be shared for even the weakest of minds to recognize it¡¯s color.


    I hate you too, Gurg transmitted. Be ready to come to me on the day you bleed. You have a choice, Chosen. Come to me and I will let your precious claimed be with you. Run and¡ª


    I know better than to run, she lied. I cannot escape you.


    Gurg¡¯s sadistic amusement seeped into her. Tuya spewed her evening meal into the stream. Yaha rushed to her, hand on her back, not needing to say anything for Tuya to know she was loved.


    Run and I will rip out every root you planted and crush every petal you nourished! Every khorota you ever tried to help will be slaughtered! You will spend the rest of your seasons birthing my conquerors, birthing the daughter who will do what is needed, all while knowing that you are the reason why everything you cared about is gone!


    I hate you. I hate you so much.


    I don¡¯t care, Gurg lied. All I ever needed was your womb. That is all you are worth, khorota.


    It is you who are unworthy! You who have been gifted with phenomenal strength from Celegana and who uses it to make the world nothing but a hollow shell of the beautiful place she left us!


    Be ready to come to me, khorota, or, even better, run. See how far you get.


    Tuya braced for another taming assault. Worse, it did not come. Gurgaldai¡¯s consciousness flowed back to the Spire, allowing the color to return to the plant life in the sanctuary. He knew she would try to run, knew she could not succeed. His confidence called out her doubts, made her remember again that even with Darrakh and Yaha, running would be nigh impossible. Running would seal the fates of all the women she left behind, unless she could find a way to protect them.


    Yaha pulled her close and cradled her in her strong, safe arms. The Mahagan woman sang a lullaby and Tuya let herself be whisked away into a place of comfortable unthinking, where she heard Yaha¡¯s music and nothing else, where she felt only her mother cradling her from afar, and nothing else.

 Chapter Twenty-Six: Red

    Tuya woke before the first rays of light found their way through the hole where the stream flowed into the ocean. She remembered good sleep, back when Yaha trained her to exhaustion before declaring her a spear. Tuya hoped that she proved as elusive as good sleep when she fled the Hollows.


    Her body was sore in every place she imagined could be sore and in too many areas she never anticipated hurting. Her stomach seemed determined to squeeze itself, like it was not sure if it should send its contents back up or violently onward. Whichever way they would go, right now it felt like the hands of a giant squeezed her gut, clamping it shut so that nothing could move along or return from whence it came. Tuya¡¯s stupid body wanted to be a slug when her mind wanted it to be like the slithering snake. She slithered out from under Yaha¡¯s arm, and that was the end of her valiant effort.


    Everything hurt. Her chest was so tender that the rub of her furs made her contemplate going about the cavern without any coverings. The only problem with that brilliant plan was that she needed to muster the energy to undress and it was easier to throw her arms up in metaphorical defeat than to literally lift them.


    Tuya limped to the edge of the stream, knowing at least one thing that would help her feel even a little less discomfort. She squatted, her legs, heavy things shaking like saplings in the wind, and lifted the bottom of her furs.


    Red. Red, matted in the hairs. Red, coated down the sides of her legs. Red, flowing with her old water. Red, the most emotional color there was. Red, harbinger of fear that loomed over tomorrow¡¯s horizon for the sixteen years Tuya lived with nightmares of this day. Red, still a surprise after seasons of anticipation, years of delay. Red, disgust that she could not control what her body did or how uncomfortable and unsightly this red. Red, calling down the anger of what the tamers had done, what they would try to do, what she would not allow today, making the world ever more red. Red, herald of hope and answered prayers, of the dream of flying away to the faraway lands and finding the place where she belonged. Red, the farewells to everything she knew, to everyone she loved, to the life she knew, and, despite it all, especially these last few seasons, was able to cherish. Most of all, red was the color of her sadness. Even if her tears bled colorless in the dark beneath the Hollows, they were red.


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    Too much red. Wiping at her eyes, she slipped into the stream, trying to wash away all the red. As she did in the big moments of her life, she thought back to Zaya, trying to remember the exact sound of her voice, the sight of her hair flowing down her gargantuan frame into little hands. Instead of a clear image, a pristine sound, Zaya was distorted by the passing of seasons. Everything changed and sometimes it felt impossible to keep up with it all, and for several moments, Tuya craved for the few drops of love in the sea of misery that was her early years.


    Still, even though things changed, some things were remembered, preserved as girl became woman. If not the sound of a mother¡¯s voice, the way it felt when she helped you breath through the panic, when she made your pain smaller when you were sad, when she nourished your hope. That never went away, no matter how many seasons stood between them, or however much distance, or even if Zaya already returned to Celegana, becoming one with the ground. This world of red could not take that away from her, nor could any tamer, or even the most unstoppable force of all, time.


    Tuya made this world just a little better, inhaling, closing her eyes, counting her breath, exhaling, slowly ridding herself of thoughts that would not help her today, of feelings that, even though they belonged, would stand in her path on this defining day of her life. Zaya was here with her again, just as if she never left at all, and with her the promise.


    I will fly away, mother, but I will grow strong enough to free you and everyone who is tamed. I promise. Tuya kept her eyes closed, seeing with her mind what her body would achieve today. Years of preparation, seasons of planning, all for this red, red day where she would, at last, fly away. This was an end, but it was not the end. She would see this first home of hers again, returning to make it a home for everyone who lived in the land where the trees had holes and the people were hollowed-out versions of what they could be. With Zaya¡¯s love, with her promise, with the hope that made her seers shine like stars on a rainy day long ago, Tuya opened her eyes.

 Chapter Twenty-Seven: Dreams

    Tuya emerged from the mouth of her cavern. Her lightseer eyes gazed into the dark haven for the last time. A place where she could see and others could not, a place where she grew when in the light she would not, the place where in the dark she found herself. Thank you, my sanctuary.


    Yaha sighed. ¡°Never would I have expected to mourn a dark, musty-aired cave full of snakes and spiders. Thank you, haven beneath the Hollows. Farewell, my home in hell.¡±


    Tuya took Yaha¡¯s hand. ¡°Goodbye, my friend who drew no breath but breathed such life into me.¡±


    The sun crested the seaside horizon, tinting the sky with red. Tuya breathed, as Zaya taught her. Through their link, Yaha felt an ill foreboding. She knew better than to voice it. Today was hard enough without giving credence to pessimistic superstition.


    Darrakh¡¯s hollow was a pretty place for a beautiful man. He laid claim to it due to its proximity to Tuya¡¯s cave, that he might sneak to and from her dark place with as few watchful eyes. It too was red. A large red-barked tree, at least fifty body lengths high, and another ten in circumference, with no low hanging branches but many strong limbs closer to the sky all covered in verdant green. Moss grew on the seaward face of the hollow and flowers and herbs splashed color around the hollow. Tuya had names for each plant and knew their strengths and purposes. The majority of these served the sole invaluable purpose of being pleasant to the eyes and the nose. The wind picked up their scents and foretold of a sweetness that did not belong to this day or this land.


    Tuya snuck inside of the hollow and Yaha stood vigil at the opening. Darrakh¡¯s sleeping face conjured many things in Tuya. The dreams of tomorrow began today.


    Do I have to be linked with you right now?


    Tuya ignored Yaha¡¯s discomfort. They both knew the plan. If she had to ignore Yaha¡¯s dark premonitions, Yaha could tolerate Tuya¡¯s dreams. Tuya hoped Darrakh had pleasant dreams last night and that she was in them the way he was so often in her dreams.


    Please. Stop...


    Tuya, perhaps out of spite, visualized her future. She and Darrakh would be gone from this place where they were only allowed to hate. They would travel the lands of love, finding allies and living out the dreams of countless nights spent looking forward. They would recruit the world¡¯s mightiest warriors: the Leverian cognitive-affectomancers, the lightseers and shadows of Isihla, Mahagan bondpairs, Heiyan Hanas, and the dragon knights of Volqor. They made zealous love in Mirrevar, where the world¡¯s largest tree grew above clouds and bloomed every flower to ever exist. They spread hope in Malhaya, the city of their mothers, sharing their story with people who looked like them and cared about them. They held hands in the rains of Dalazuli, near the shores of Caleel where Yaha was from. They chased each other through the tall grasses of the Heiyan Savanna, acting like the many yangkun cats that roamed the land. She thought of Volqor and how it would feel if they soared through the skies on the wings of a dragon. How she wished they had one right here that could fly them all away, far beyond Gurg¡¯s reach.


    As she dreamt, even Yaha¡¯s sourness, her aversion to everything tamer, seemed subdued and docile. Her desire to get Tuya out of the Hollows and give her those moments became the most important thing in her world.


    Still, as warm as Yaha¡¯s feelings were, she was still Yaha. Focus, Pelianna. Today is the day to make dreams come true, not the day to dream them.


    You still need to tell me what a Pelianna is.


    Pelianna Leveria and Elior the Paladin¡¯s story is one of love between people who were not allowed to love overcoming the impossible odds. If this boy proves himself to be your Elior, the man who will fight to be with you no matter how powerful those who would drive you apart, I will tell you the full story.


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    I would like that, Tuya projected, her eyes set on her lover¡¯s sleeping face. My Elior. Tuya knelt down, nudging his head with hers.


    Darrakh startled awake, eyes wide with fear before the smile crested his face and they alighted with glee. ¡°Beautiful.¡±


    ¡°Me?¡± she said, raising an eyebrow and adding a playful lilt to her voice, one using tongue and lips rather than throat.


    Yaha¡¯s discomfort in sharing her mind was at an all-time high and this only enhanced Tuya¡¯s amusement.


    ¡°You.¡± When he took her hand, Tuya felt the currents of his love flow like a river that could smash through any barrier. Now that she was blooded, things previously forbidden could be considered, and Tuya considered with a great deal of excitement and nervousness, wanting to have something like Renisha and Rahan had, or Yaha and Olono, but afraid of everything her eyes had seen in the Hollows.


    Fourteenth help me, Yaha prayed.


    Darrakh pulled her tight to him and they held each other¡¯s hands, fingers interlocked and spread them out like wings. We will fly today. She leaned into him and waited for the first kiss of their new life.


    ¡°You,¡± Darrakh said, ¡°are the most beautiful girl in the world. I will tell you this at the start of all our days and kiss you until you know my eyes see true.¡±


    ¡°You might have to kiss me for a long time then. Better get started now.¡±


    Get started, Darrakh did. Tuya wished no furs separated their touch. With her blood now flowing, her flower bloomed, Tuya was hungry for him. Once, like a fool, he tried to break off the kiss. She kept him there, savoring the flow of love, of passion, and, yes, of lust between them. Tuya might have kissed the early dawn away if not for the yearning and sorrow that did not belong to her infiltrating her mind.


    Yaha yearned for one more day with her Olono, for a chance to tell him again that she loved him, to hear his voice, to feel his lips on hers, and, yes, even to merge as man and woman like two youths recently bonded.


    Tuya broke off the kiss, and used her wilding to try and make Yaha¡¯s pain smaller.


    ¡°What is wrong?¡± Darrakh asked, his palms on her cheeks.


    ¡°I am linked with Yaha.¡±


    Darrakh snorted and his cheeks grew puffy as he suppressed his laugh. Tuya¡¯s lover knew much of the prudishness of her mother.


    Yaha¡¯s irritation sparked. The Mahagan warrior gave the Celegan tamer a side-eyed glare that emptied him of laughter the way a spear emptied one of blood. Focus, Pelianna! We must use every moment of this day to get away!


    Tuya suppressed her impulse to lash back at Yaha, suppressed it because the woman was wise in this. Very wise. Tuya¡¯s excitement got in the way of the hard work that needed to be done today, the blood that needed spilling, and the bodies that needed returning to Celegana. These moments of stolen love were precious moments they needed and could never get back.


    Make my dreams come true today so that I can live them tomorrow, Tuya reminded herself, much to Yaha¡¯s satisfaction.


    Wasting not another moment, Tuya lifted her furs. Already, new blood wet her hairs and made tracks on her inner thighs.


    The joy bled from Darrakh¡¯s face. ¡°No. You can still hide it. We don¡¯t have to do this now. We have more time.¡±


    This is not your Elior, Yaha projected. This is a coward. We should never have trusted in him.


    Tuya was more sad than angry, more disappointed and discouraged than bitter and boiling. His response sent her into a downhearted spiral, calling into question the day and the dreams that were supposed to be born today. Her eyes went to her feet, like a little girl who was promised food by a tamer only to be denied after she gave him everything he demanded.


    Darrakh took her hands. ¡°I don¡¯t want to lose you.¡±


    Now, the anger. ¡°And that is why we must go! Gurgaldai will not give us another chance if we do not take it today! If you want to kiss me every morning, it starts with today! With doing what we must to fly away to the faraway lands!¡±


    Please, please tell me you are ready, that you will do what it takes, that you will be an Elior.


    Darrakh cradled her in his arms. ¡°You are right, Tuya. I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe.¡± He kissed her cheek and she let his fingers drift away from hers before he wandered into the morning light.


    ¡°Remember,¡± Darrakh said, back to her as he greeted the day. ¡°Remember to stay linked together at all times.¡±


    Darrakh went toward the heart of their region, where the mightiest of the tamers would be rising soon. Tuya tried to be confident that he would play his part in the plan. It was hard when her mind was merged with one who had no such faith in Darrakh.


    She needed to find confidence, needed to will it from somewhere, to shift away from these doubts that would doom them all. ¡°This is it,¡± she said. ¡°All the seasons I have dreamt of leaving this place. Today, we make that dream come true.¡±


    ¡°You will fly away from here and find the place you belong, my little empagong.¡±


    Do empagong fly?


    Yaha snorted. Not usually. You are special though. You can do whatever you dream, even if that means making empagong fly.

 Chapter Twenty-Eight: Blood

    A Celegan meadow, a wide-open space where flowers and tall grasses grew, resided at the heart of each region within the Hollows. Each meadow was a perfect circle, ringed by hundreds of hollows and the dense forests that dominated the landscape. This perfection was no happenstance, but an intelligent, compassionate design, much like the shelter provided by a land where all the great trees had holes for the sons and daughters of Celegana. Perhaps these perfect circles, places without canopy where light shone down were gifts from Celegana, much like the hollows? Perhaps these were designed by the ancient wilders hoping to create a large space in a time long, long ago where communities gathered and celebrations occurred?


    Tuya smiled, dreaming of the days of harmony and what life and love must have been like in these meadows. Music and dancing, talking and laughing, sharing blessings, these must have been the ways of gathering in this place of serenity. Instead, this beautiful meadow had been twisted into a site of death and domination. Now, this was a place of executions, of public beatings, of the raping of women on the day of first blood, of taking and taking until those with less had none. A land of the most fertile soil transformed into a place where growth was stifled in every way.


    And today, Yaha projected, it will be a place of reckoning for those who defiled this place. This will be the place where you pull your roots out of this bad soil and carry yourself to where you belong.


    I will find the good soil and grow, Tuya projected. Then, when I am strong enough, I will make this place how it is supposed to be. I will purify this land, make this a good home for all who grow here.


    Yes, but first you must only focus on today. Look too far ahead and you will lose yourself in dreams.


    No, I must see ahead, so that I know how much today means.


    Yaha pulsed with reluctant agreement. Tuya, for once, did not exploit that stubborn woman¡¯s rare moment of elasticity. Not today. Today, she projected, I am where am I must be as who I must be so that I can fly away from the girl that I was and show others like me how things should be.


    Indeed. But always remember, I am proud of the girl you were, the woman you are, and the woman you will become.


    Tuya sat in that pride and reflected it back to Yaha and buried it deep within herself. She was proud of how she lived her life. One could give oneself few greater gifts than living in a way they were proud of, nurturing the best parts of themselves even in the worst parts of their life. Tuya looked back and knew she did the best she could. With that pride came confidence that she would do her best today and in all her tomorrows.


    She was still afraid. One did not grow up in the Hollows, in the shadow of Celegana¡¯s Spire, and ever believe that everything would go as perfect as the ring around the meadow. She sat upon life¡¯s precipice and one did not stand on the precipice and feel safe and sure. Tuya¡¯s scars from a life where things were rarely safe and sure bled fresh doubts. The doubts spoke to her, trying to remind her that she was the helpless little khorota who was worth nothing. That small voice howled at the precipice, begging Tuya for attention and acknowledgement. It was the voice of all the tamers who tried to break her. It was the voice of the girl who walked to the cliffs and committed to her own death. It was the voice that she had learned to say no to.


    Confidence did not blind her to the possibility of failure, of surprises, of struggle. Rather, confidence assured her that no matter what happened, she would do her best, that her best was among the very best, and her best would always be enough. No, confidence could not take away her fear but it could quiet the voice of the beaten-down little girl who always expected the worst. Confidence gave her the freedom to hope. It told her, far louder than that old voice, that she was worthy and that she had some control over her fate.


    The first rays of light crested the hollows and pushed back the darkness in the meadow.


    Norali agrees with you, Yaha projected.


    She has always believed in me. Tuya thanked the Divine of her motherland for the gift of seeing even in the rampant darkness that was her earliest years, for the gift of hope. Without these blessings, without light in the darkness, she would not be on this precipice today. Even in the dim, dawn light, her eyes saw as if in the brightest of day and could make out the details in places farther than the typical human eye could see.


    Masarga and the others gathered on the outskirts of the meadow, lurking in the little hollows, a web on connections linking them together. Their numbers swelled since the days of six girls around a fire. Most of the region, at least those with Celegan ancestry, were linked in their community. Even the farawaylanders moved about this place with less despair and were recipient to many of the blessings procured by the wilders. Color and life radiated throughout the region in the forest and in the meadow, willed to be the best it could be by this rising tide of young wilders. Masarga had her own hidden cache of numbroot, purple needleleafs, and paintakers and helped the others learn to do the same. Berries grew aplenty throughout the forest while mushrooms thrived in the dark places ensuring none would ever have to rely on the tamers to fill their bellies.


    Your girl has done well, Yaha transmitted. Even when you are gone, she will carry on.


    Tuya knew that, knew Masarga was ready to take the lead, ready to carry on. Yet, sitting in the meadow, looking at the girl, remembering their last several days of conversations, knowing how much of a hole she would leave behind in Masarga¡¯s heart, Tuya did not want to leave her behind to face the worst of this world without her, to enjoy the best of it without the person you loved most. She did not want to leave her as Zaya left her.


    As long as she persists, a piece of you still exists within her. When she carries your lessons to the others, you will exist in them too. You will always be here, Tuya. Always. Just like Zaya.


    That was true, Tuya realized, just as Zaya and Sarnai were still with her now, and often were in the hard moments of her life when she needed them. Still, she missed them, and would miss Masarga. It felt like she was leaving a piece of herself behind. Tuya doubted she would ever feel whole with that piece of herself still here in the Hollows.


    I will return for her, Tuya promised herself. Will you be with me when we return, Yaha?


    Yes. I will always be with you.


    You know what I mean!


    And you know what I mean, Tuya. I will always be with you. Just as you will always be with Masarga.


    Tuya breathed as Zaya taught her and linked with another as she had with Sarnai so many times. She sat upon the ground in the center of the meadow, holding the spear as Yaha trained her. As more light spilled into the meadow, cresting over the seaward hollows, the absence of the tamers grew more worrisome. Yaha did little to ease Tuya¡¯s mind, up in her perch in one of the hollows overlooking the meadow, predicting her own death and maintaining mistrust of Darrakh.


    Tuya tried to reassure herself that Darrakh¡¯s task took time, that the tamers would be slow to rally around him. Her wilding sense was clear to her, the tamers were gathered in the forest nearby, in the section where the biggest of the hollows stood, near the place where the old stones used to be, where many seasons ago Sarnai had her first blood. Darrakh was among the tamers and would ensure that today went differently than that rainy day etched into her memory like scrapings on a tree. Confidence and trust helped her sit, even if the seating was uncomfortable.


    Instead of worrying, she reminded herself why their plan was good. Vindictive satisfaction coursed through her, knowing that she would escape by using the worst parts of Gurg¡¯s power against him. The tamers would be too afraid to question Darrakh¡¯s story, to seek out the Ezen himself to verify it. It was because everyone feared Gurg, and that nobody loved him, that Tuya would fly away to the faraway lands and be gone before the monster could catch her. The loveless man would reap the seeds he sowed in his rotten soil. Satisfaction made for good company while one was waiting on the precipice of destiny.


    Tuya sensed their coming even before she saw them. Thirteen tamers, the whole lot of them who resided in this region, flocked into the meadow. Tuya breathed, as Zaya taught her. She rose, leaving the spear at her feet, and lifted her furs up until all knew there was first blood writ upon her skin.


    ¡°Hoo huh! Hoo huh!¡± the tamers howled, chanting themselves into a frenzy.


    Tuya lowered her furs, their chanting calling forth memories of first blood, of girls she loved suffering, of being helpless to do anything to stop the pain. She did not breath as Zaya taught her now, but channeled her anger as Yaha taught her. For Sarnai and the countless others, this day the Hollows would see something new.


    Darrakh stepped between Tuya and the other twelve tamers. To nobody¡¯s surprise they taunted him, belittled him, and threatened him, howling and hooting throughout. Khangoon hurled a string of insults, laughing at his own cruel jest that Darrakh had a small breeder and underdeveloped beard because he was half-khorota. Yadakh vowed to not stop beating him until he was dead, swinging his stupid club at the air. Tokhun, the biggest among them, ripped off his furs, stroked himself until he was erect, and asked if girly Darrakh wanted to go first. Yet another tamer called for him to bend over, touch his toes, and take the breeder like a good khorota. All throughout, Tuya¡¯s rage bloomed, scarlet and red as her blood, ready to be unleashed. Even Yaha felt sympathy for Darrakh.


    We will kill these animals, Tuya! We will kill them all!


    Her eyes went to the spear, wanting to feel the way she did when it went through Semug¡¯s throat, wanting to cleanse this soil of the toxins that spoiled it. Soon.


    Darrakh shouted over the din, ¡°Gurgaldai ezen Celegan demands that the strongest of us claim the Chosen!¡±


    The tamers went silent, and their focus collectively went to Darrakh. Darrakh, beautiful and wonderful Darrakh, delivered on his promise. ¡°He who sees all, hears all, and knows all grants he who claims her one day to use her before delivering her to Celegana¡¯s Spire. He who does this will be given great honor and will be gifted all of the Great Ezen¡¯s claimed.¡± Darrakh took a breath and met Tuya¡¯s eyes, his expression barren as sand, his voice quaking with emotion, he bellowed, ¡°For he will have need of no other, once he has the one he has chosen.¡±


    Tuya touched her hand to her heart, feeling it flutter for the tamer who went against everything they tried to make him into and gave her the chance she needed to fly away. She could not repress her smile, such was her gratitude, her love. She would have need of no other, for she had the one she had chosen. Darrakh pursed his lips, winked, and turned to regroup with the tamers.


    I was wrong, Tuya, Yaha confessed. You found the one good man in this land and made him yours.


    Khangoon, the loudest and most violent of the tamers in the region, was a muscular beast of a man with the red-tinted color of the Atmana. ¡°I have waited many seasons for this day! You will spend the sun¡¯s cycle with your face in the mud and your bottom in the air, khorota! Tamer Khangoon claims her!¡±


    Tokhun, a pale imitation of Gurg, a creature of obvious Gidiite descent, with large everything, pale skin, red hair, and deep blue eyes, strode forth, holding his blood-filled violator in his gigantic hand like a Gidiite greatsword. He was a man famously hard on his claimed, a man known to lose himself in fits of fury while raping, a man so bulky that it was hard to imagine a spear even bothering him. He was a man that would look good with his innards fertilizing the meadow soil, his blood sating the thirst of Tuya¡¯s spear. ¡°Step aside, little men and half-khorota! Tamer Tokhun claims the beautiful one! Tamer Tokhun shall break her in for the Great Ezen and Tamer Tokhun will dominate any who think to stop him!¡± He pumped himself, eyes never leaving her.


    Khangoon scowled at the eleven who did not step forward. ¡°Where are all the mighty tamers! Did only two men emerge from Celegana¡¯s Spire or did all of you fail to fill your feeder with your breeder!¡± He marched to Darrakh and gripped him by the furs. Tuya crouched down, reaching for her spear, ready to throw it across the meadow if this man dared to hurt her beloved.


    ¡°Baby Darrakh, where is your passion? You who have followed her around like a baby bird. Eyes of the Ezen. Become a man and make your claim!¡±


    Darrakh ripped himself free of Khangoon. His face twisted with hatred, distorting his softer beauty, showing a side of him she did not know was there. For a moment, he looked like every other tamer, full of rage and vitriol. ¡°Like the baby bird, I take whatever scraps my big brothers leave behind.¡±


    Khangoon roared with laughter. Tokhun thrust his penis in Darrakh¡¯s direction. ¡°Pathetic! You are no tamer! You are khorota!¡±


    Tuya¡¯s fingers tensed around the handle of the spear, hidden in the high grasses. I want to kill them, Yaha! I want¡ª


    Stick to the plan, girl! Do not let their animalistic insults deprive you of wisdom!


    Tuya hissed, but she released the spear, and waited for the plan. If the plan worked, twelve bodies would soon be strewn across this meadow. Unfortunately, only five tamers staked claims on her. Even Yadakh, a tamer who viciously declared his intent every chance he could for seasons did not step forward and announce his claim. At the end of the day, the tamers were all cowards, trained to bow to those with more might. The plan underestimated this cowardice and, therefore, the plan failed.


    I will show them who is mightiest.


    No! There are too many! Do not be a fool, girl!


    The five claimers positioned themselves in a circle, arguing over how to settle the claim. Tokhun demanded a brawl, last man standing taking the khorota. The other four wisely called for a taming battle where the only one who refused to submit to another would win the claim. They bickered, those not claiming hooting and hollering, adding their envy and hatred into the mix by calling the four cowards while they called Tokhun stupid and small-minded. Khangoon struck first, forcing his mind toward Tokhun before the behemoth could attack with his gargantuan fists.


    Four bloody noses would not suffice. She might be able to get away, but even if she did, leaving so many tamers behind would be the doom of Masarga and the others. I have to, Yaha. I must.


    No, Tuya! No! We must prioritize you! Without you, this is all for nothing!


    Tuya crouched, touched the spear, remembering her promises, the reasons she worked so hard to become a weapon. I can live with your disapproval, Tuya projected. I cannot live with Masarga¡¯s death anymore than you could live with mine. She is daughter to me, as I am daughter to you. If you do not understand that¡ª


    Remember this when it is my turn to risk it all for you.


    Tuya snorted. Had Yaha ever been more Yaha? Still, she would not have her any other way, sensing her crying up in her perch, sensing her care and worry, trying to tell herself that twelve was not too many for Tuya of the Hollows.


    Twelve at once? I thought you knew me to be wiser than that? Tuya grinned, silencing her thoughts in the link, savoring Yaha¡¯s utter bewilderment. She stepped forward, halting at a patch of the red swirlythorns Sarnai had loved most of all the flowers. This is for you, Sarnai, and for all like you.


    ¡°Tamers!¡±


    Blood trickled from Tokhun¡¯s nose as Khangoon retreated from his mind. The other tamers halted their hooting, leaving behind a sweet silence. Wind blew from the seaward side, sending forth the scent of salt. Tuya¡¯s dark hair blew behind her, strands of waist-length blackness unfurling to her sides like wings. Time to fly away, Tuya, she told herself. Her silver eyes scanned the tamers. ¡°Tomorrow I will belong to the Ezen. Today, I belong to any who can claim me.¡± Tuya paced, circling the red swirlythorns. ¡°Why only one of you? Why not a turn for every tamer.¡± She narrowed her eyes at Darrakh. ¡°A worm for every bird.¡± She smiled at them, trusting in their tamer nature, in their need to dominate.


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    The tamers laughed, their lust and desire flaring from them so intense she could almost see what her mind sensed. All of them, enraptured with the idea that they could have a turn. Even Tokhun, so set on needing to triumph was humbled by the mental battering he barely endured. Even Khangoon, drained from his battle with Tokhun would rather get her for free than need to win against three more tamers. Twelve of them, flooded with the dream they harbored for seasons, the dream of having one chance to breed with the good khorota chosen by the Ezen.


    Yadakh rushed deeper into the meadow, wielding his club, boisterous again. ¡°Yes! This is the answer! She has wronged us all! How many tamers did she get killed by the dark ones! What of Semug? Of Makhun and Jhorgal? She has been a thorn to us for all her seasons! We owe it to ourselves to make her hurt! Let us all make her bleed!¡±


    ¡°Yes!¡± Khangoon declared. He lifted his furs and threw them aside into a patch of paintakers, sky-petaled with a sunny center. ¡°We all claim her! I go first!¡±


    Khangoon made it three steps before Tokhun lunged forward and gripped him by the throat. ¡°I go first!¡±


    Yes!


    Yaha¡¯s joy burst through the link, melding with Tuya¡¯s. You crazy girl!


    Big Tokhun dropped Khangoon to the ground, pressing his knee into his chest as his big hands crushed the life out of stronger-minded tamer. The word you were looking for is clever, Tuya projected.


    Khangoon flailed, gagging for air, hopeless to overcome Tokhun with his body. Khangoon¡¯s consciousness rushed from him, reaching for Tokhun. Alas, Tokhun¡¯s walls were strong and a dying man did not have full command of their mind, or even close to it. Khangoon¡¯s stream was hazy, lethargic. The loudest of tamers died a quiet death, with nothing but choked gurgles being permitted the air they needed to create noise. Still, they were beautiful sounds to Tuya.


    Eleven more.


    Tokhun rose back to his feet, his erection fallen into the bushes of hair surrounding its mound. Breathing heavy, he glanced at Tuya. ¡°I go first!¡± He seized his breeder, tugging at it as he strode toward her. ¡°Get ready, khorota.¡±


    Tuya crouched in the grass, ready to spring at him with her spear, feeling the fear without letting it freeze her. She scrambled for ideas on where to go next. Fight him now, while he is on his own, or to try and pit them against each other? When none of the other tamers challenged Tokhun¡¯s primacy, she braced for the battle, ready to show them how strong she was.


    Alas, if you could rely on tamers to be anything, it was to be vengeful, to fight for their pride, even after they were dead. Khangoon¡¯s consciousness left his body, seeking a final tame, a second life. Tuya saw it flowing around Tokhun, as he tugged himself and walked through the grass toward her. Khangoon¡¯s vapor permeated Tokhun, his eyes going blank, his arms went limp at his side, his face strained like he was trying to pass excrement as big as he was, as he waged war inside his own mind, battling for domination of his own corporeal shell. Blood trickled from nose, then ears, then mouth, then eyes, as Tokhun gave mental ground to Khangoon. The other tamers stalled, the brighter ones realizing what they witnessed, the others openmouthed and confused like the dolts they were, telling Tokhun to get on with it so they could have a go.


    Who makes the better weapon? Tuya asked Yaha. A stupid man full of desire or a dead man who has nothing to lose?


    The best weapon is you. Trust yourself, Tuya.


    Seeking wisdom within herself, needing to find her own answers, Tuya reacted, putting her faith in controlling stupidity over directing vengeance. She broke her link with Yaha and reached out with her consciousness. Let me in, Tokhun. I will drive him away and then we can be together.


    Barely clinging to himself, Tokhun gave her the opening.


    Be gone, khorota! Khangoon raged. This coward¡¯s body will be mine! He projected images of himself using Tokhun to rape her, to strangle her, like he had been strangled. None would have her except him, not even the Ezen! If he was going to die, he would bring as many as he could with him back to Celegana.


    What a relief to know that one could trust in themselves! It is over, Khangoon. The better man killed you, just as he will kill the others, and then he will have me to himself while you return to Celegana, a failure, a weakling.


    Khangoon pushed on her mind, growing stupid with rage, trying to throw her out. Tuya stood firm, warding off his little nudges, years of honing her mind rendering them laughable. She swatted him away, reminding him again and again that he was dead and this was the end, that he belonged to the dirt now, that he would never hurt anyone again, nor would he ever be hurt again. She pressed on his wounded pride and laughed, and laughed, and laughed, killing his narcissistic consciousness.


    Tokhun joined her in repelling Khangoon and she fed his tamer stupidity. I only want a man who doesn¡¯t die when he claims me. I want his perfect breeder to make my belly swell with worthy seed. I do not want you, Khangoon, you who dies first of thirteen. You most unworthy, pathetic half-khorota. She laughed in their twisted link. Be gone.


    Tokhun pushed on Khangoon as Tuya wrapped her mind around his, strangling him psychically. Tokhun battered at Khangoon¡¯s fractured psyche. She is mine, stupid Khangoon! Half-khorota! I will have her! ME!


    Khangoon¡¯s mind dissipated, dying as his body had.


    Prove you are the strongest, Tokhun. Prove this and you will have me to yourself, Tuya transmitted, remaining linked after Khangoon was truly dead. Kill the rest of them. Prove you deserve me. Tuya projected images of herself, mounted atop him, going up and down, up and down, over and over again, and she felt his breeder swell through the link. Tuya sent a shockwave of her desire, a barrage of true feeling, of excitement for what would happen once Tokhun finished killing the other tamers. Kill them.


    Tokhun wiped away the blood running from his facial orifices. He beat his chest, shouting down at his fellow tamers, ¡°I will be her only one! She is my claimed! MINE!¡±


    Yes. Let them know who is worthy. Kill them all.


    Tokhun charged into the other tamers. He knocked two to the ground and seized a third by the neck, Ganzorig. Tokhun twisted, Tuya astounded by the unnatural Gidiite strength he wielded, projecting respect for his power as Ganzorig¡¯s skull was snapped to the side, the head twisted in the wrong direction, dark beady eyes that would never see again. Ganzorig tried to take Tokhun¡¯s body for himself with his final tame. Tuya swatted him aside, before Tokhun even registered the attempt at intrusion and Ganzorig¡¯s vapor streamed into the Hollows, full of hatred but with enough sense not to challenge her.


    Ten more!


    The other tamers backed away, none wanting to face Tokhun alone, their fear matched only by Tokhun¡¯s ambition. Yadakh lifted his club. ¡°Brothers! We can take him down together, be done with him forever, then we all get our turn with the Chosen!¡±


    Three of the tamers, Yadakh included, charged toward Tokhun, while another five of them sent their consciousness out to tame the giant.


    Tokhun grappled Aduchin as he charged, overpowered him with ease, and slammed him into Yadakh, knocking them both to the grass. Tokhun rushed the third tamer, hefted him up, and dropped his back over his knee, snapping his spine like a twig. The body was flung toward Tuya, clinging to life. He glared up with black eyes full of hatred, unable to move anything below the grimace of his lips.


    Her spear ended Khadak¡¯s life swiftly. His consciousness seeped out of his body and wrapped around Tuya. She felt his anger, his desire, and, his confusion. No matter how much he lashed out with his mind, he went right through her, as if she were not there. Tuya shared Khadak¡¯s confusion as his mind fled deeper into the Hollows in search of second life, but the confusion quickly evaporated, in the heat of more urgent matters.


    Tuya repelled mind after mind as they assaulted Tokhun, trying to seize victory over the big tamer¡¯s physique. Even six-on-one, they were outmatched, Tuya¡¯s confidence growing as she willed them back to their bodies, sending them where they belonged.


    Nine!


    More of the tamers engaged, realizing they were not going to defeat the gargantuan tamer with their minds. Tokhun crashed toward them with his fists, throwing them off him as he weathered blow after blow, each strike adding to his determination and rage. Tuya felt the rush, the furor, at a capacity her body knew nothing of, neutralizing any semblance of pain as she continued to fuel his desire which ignited his determination anew with every strike.


    Alas, even the biggest bear could be brought down by a pack of wolves. Yadakh slammed the club into Tokhun¡¯s back, driving him down to his hands and knees. Tuya infused Tokhun with strength, willing him to might. Be yourself. Be strong. She projected images of his breeder filling her, in and out, in and out, over and over again, her shouting his name, begging him for more, telling him how big he was, how strong.


    Tokhun caught Yadakh¡¯s next swing. Rushing forward, throwing several tamers off him, he seized the club from Yadakh. Tuya bound herself to him, guiding his reflexes, pressing him into lion form. She flashed her will and Tokhun was caught in the flow of her thought such that it felt like it was his own. Using his body, wielding him like she would her own spear, channeling his rage, his determination, and his desire, he burned like a fire reaching above the clouds and she kept feeding the fuel with each thought, each pulse of emotion a log on the flames she stoked.


    The club smashed into the face of another tamer, staggering him until the follow-up cracked the top of the skull and left him bleeding out among a patch of tall yellow flowers.


    Eight.


    Tuya wielded command of her club, springing Tokhun through a series of assaults in lion form against a group of tamers still trying to force their way into his mind. They were defenseless, their minds running into a bond with no gaps for them to infiltrate. You do not belong! she bellowed, mentally, the club crashing down on them, Tokhun roaring.


    Seven. Six. Five.


    The final four tamers charged. Two of them seized Tokhun¡¯s arm before he could swing the club. He elbowed one of them, Yadakh, as another tamer jumped on his back and wrapped both of his arms around Tokhun¡¯s neck. Tokhun reached for his strangler¡¯s head with his free arm but the fourth tamer bit into Tokhun¡¯s nipple, tearing it off in a spray of blood. Yadakh worked to pry away the club from Tokhun¡¯s weakening grip. The fourth tamer rammed a jagged stick into Tokhun¡¯s left eye, twisting and gouging. Even through the rage, the determination, the desire, Tokhun¡¯s pain was blinding.


    Be yourself, Tuya projected, making sure not to soothe his pain but to channel it into action. Claim me! Kill them!


    She flooded his mind with what to do and he seized onto the strategy, letting it flow from him as her mind merged with his. Yadakh stumbled to his back, spilling to the ground with the club in his grasp. Tokhun dropped to a knee, both hands free, and pried the strangler from his neck, tossing him at the eye gouger. Tuya lunged Tokhun forward, gargantuan fist crashing into Yadakh¡¯s stomach before he could swing the club and then delivering Tokhun¡¯s knee to his face, leaving him on the ground with a river of blood flowing from his ruined nose. Tokhun seized the club and swung it hard at the biter, bringing it down, once, twice, thrice, until all that was left of him was the misty essence of his mind, fleeing into the Hollows.


    Four.


    The eye gouger slashed with the stick, breaking it across Tokhun¡¯s back. Tokhun groaned, stumbled forward, and roared, twisting toward him. With one hand, he seized the man by the throat, lifting him high, roaring in his gagging face. With his other hand he shattered the man¡¯s skull with the club.


    Three.


    Tuya, using her own eyes, warned Tokhun. He shifted his head in time to deflect another stick from the strangler. The jagged branch careened off Tokhun¡¯s blindside ear. Burning with rage, his pain starting to break through to him, exhaustion on its heels, Tokhun flung the club at the man. The heavy log collided into gut and the strangler bent forward, gasping for air. Tokhun gripped both sides of his head and squeezed, squeezed, squeezed, until the bones caved in. She kept her own eyes rather than shared his, not needing to see more than she had to of the destruction.


    Two.


    Tokhun discarded the strangler and caught his breath. Yadakh was curled up on the ground, trying to dam the blood rushing from his nose. He crawled away, backwards, crying for mercy as Tokhun retrieved the club and stalked after him. Yadakh should have crawled faster.


    One more. Tuya crouched down in the grass. One more. She gripped her spear, fingers shaking with exhilaration tainted only by the smallest drop of fear. One more. She rose among the red swirlythorns, carrying her spear, carrying her future in her hands, with only one more tamer between her and freedom.


    Blood and bodies desecrated the meadow, the antithesis of the harmony this sacred place represented to Tuya. Tokhun stood, nude, one-eyed, one-nippled, covered in blood, much spatter from his vicious brutality, much of it his own. ¡°One more,¡± he said, searching for Darrakh. ¡°Where are you, baby Darrakh?¡±


    ¡°You will not find him,¡± Tuya said, breeze blowing her hair out like unfurled wings behind her.


    Tokhun opened his mouth, looking as stupid as ever, as stupid as every tamer she ever knew from Zalmug to Jhorgal, Makhun to Khangoon. He was the epitome of them all, even Gurg, with their many shared features. They knew nothing but hatred and domination. All with fragile egos, using raw violence to sustain their fickle sense of self-worth, pushing others down so that they could feel like they meant something. Tokhun never would have imagined that he was the last one. Even now, with her in his head, these thoughts transferring between them, he could not grasp, could not understand. Tuya broke the link, done sharing minds with this disgusting creature, this club that had served its purpose and now was to be discarded like the rotten, thoughtless log that it was.


    ¡°You are the last one, Tokhun.¡± She stepped forward. ¡°Make your claim, tamer, and discover who is the mightiest Celegan in this meadow.¡±


    His mouth hung open, still slow to grasp. How he let his mind believe what he wanted it to, how his tamer nature was used against him, these things dawned, like the sun rising through the trees, casting light onto the truths that would be exposed this day. Tuya¡¯s confidence thrummed within her, lit by all who helped her get this far and all who watched on the edge of the meadow. Little girls who learned they were not alone, that they could be strong, and one foolish tamer who learned he was all alone and that all the physical might, all the taming prowess of his ancestors would not save him from her now.


    Tuya brandished her spear, moving with finesse into quetzal form. She performed maneuvers, pirouetting and darting in a circle around Tokhun, warning him of her speed, flashing him warnings of her deadliness like the rainbow feathers of the Mahagan birds who gave this form its name. With her mind her own, she sensed the spirits rising around her, as a network of wilders shared a collective pride. Even if Tokhun was too stupid to know he was already dead, these girls, these young women, were who she showed those rainbow feathers to. Tuya wanted these moments to make memories that lasted long beyond her time in the Hollows, echoing through the links these women would share, and those they would form with the women not yet shown how strong they were, or not yet born into this world that lied to them, that told them they did not belong to themselves.


    She pointed the spear at Tokhun, the rage building on his face as he heaved, and she sang out for all those women that helped her get here, for all those who watched, for all who were yet to be, and, most of all, for herself. ¡°I, Tuya of the Hollows, am not property to any tamer! I belong to myself!¡±


    All around the meadow, the call arose. First, from Masarga, then from Enkhti, Berude, Seruun, and Ibakha. Yaha joined the chorus and so did Darrakh. Soon, Tuya was certain, each woman, even those who did not speak the Celegan language, carried the call upon their tongues or from deep in their throats. A hundred voices, voices tired of the way things had been all their lives, tired of monsters like Tokhun and the other eleven already slain in the meadow dominating them, tired of being afraid, tired of hopelessness, of helplessness, tired of being silent, chanting in unison. It was perhaps the most beautiful sound Tuya heard in her first sixteen years, one she would remember for all of her years. ¡°Tuya of the Hollows! Tuya of the Hollows! Tuya of the Hollows!¡±


    Tokhun¡¯s veins burst in his neck, his teeth gnashed together, grinding little bones. He stretched out oversized arms and pointed at her with his bulky finger, his messy red hair not fiery enough, nor his blood-soaked visage red enough to convey the rage emanating from his consciousness. ¡°You belong to me! Khorota!¡±


    He reached out with his mind, too stupid to realize that he could not succeed where far wiser tamers failed. A wild stream of hatred and wrath pressed against her consciousness, the meagre vapors swirling around her. She was done letting tamer hatred control her, finished being afraid of a tamer¡¯s wrath. Armed with love for those watching and love for herself, swathed in confidence and hope, she knocked his consciousness aside, flinging it back to his body.


    Bellowing like a frenzied beast, Tokhun grabbed the remnants of the shattered club and charged her. Tuya moved through water form, quick, slippery motions executed with precision, her eyes and mind reading Tokhun¡¯s actions before they happened. She was gone long before he arrived, instead introducing him to the spear. The first backslash cut through the back of his leg, severing a tendon. Tokhun crashed to his knee, howling like it was his first blood.


    Tuya circled around him, lifting the spear high so all could see the blood dripping from its tip. Either the chanting grew louder or it echoed more powerfully within her. Tuya adjusted into lion form, disregarding all Yaha¡¯s lessons about never playing with her food. She taunted him, ready to pounce, she growled with the fullness of her throat, ¡°You belong to me, tamer.¡±


    His anger propelled him forward, even if his wounded leg made him clumsier and more lethargic than before. Tuya pounced, plunging the spear into his chest and driving it straight into the back of his ribcage. Gasping, he grasped for the spear¡¯s shaft, and his fingers touched only empty air. Blood squelched from the wound, bubbling and thick, the hole left in his chest wheezing like a tamer who found himself staring breathlessly at his death.


    ¡°Tuya of the Hollows! Tuya of the Hollows! Tuya of the Hollows!¡±


    She shifted back into quetzal form, spiraling around him faster than he could keep up, her spear painting the air with drops of blood. He stumbled after her, unable to form words without his lung, barely able to keep standing with the certain nick in his heart. The first rock struck Tokhun in the side of the face, courtesy of Masarga. Many more followed, flowing from the hands of his claimed, of little girls he had beaten or shamed, from those who had been wronged by tamers again and again.


    Tuya led the new call as the stones barraged him, kept him staggering to the side and crying out in pain like the smallest child beneath the brutality of the largest tamer. ¡°Hoo huh! Hoo huh!¡± howled the wilders.


    Seasons of oppression, of beatings, of screamings, of starvings, of being thrown into the mud, hair pulled, dragged helplessly, bodies desecrated in hatred, souls torn apart, built to this moment. They were not khorota. They were not useless. They were not helpless. They were good enough. They were worthy. This long winter could end and a new spring would arrive. Flowers long withered would grow again and know themselves to be beautiful.


    Tokhun shielded himself from the rocks, struggling to keep his feet as more blood left his many wounds. Tuya blasted him with light, her eyes beaming silver through the meadow, centered upon him. The radiance blinded him, and stones kept coming, along with insults, and cries of freedom. Tuya took her spear and struck from snake form, severing his manhood.


    He lunged out at her, desperate and afraid, his anger dying, as it tends to do when you are the helpless and hopeless. Blind, staggering, quickly dying, and stupid, Tuya did not need to have prescient eyes to predict his last charge. Her spear sliced through the back of his other knee, and he buckled to the ground.


    She knew he would never get up again, but it never hurt to respect your enemy¡¯s strength. She was a little empagong, slowly circling to the front of her prey. Blood everywhere on him and strewn all around him, bereft of his masculinity, kneeling before a lowly khorota, head bowed, a hundred women chanting, ¡°Tuya of the Hollows! Hoo huh! Tuya,¡± Tokhun finally saw more with his one eye than he ever had in his life. His lone blue eye was empty of the rage, the lust, the hatred that carried him through his life. He saw a woman worthy and he knew it was the end, and that like the other eleven tamers she helped him kill, he never had a chance.


    Perhaps he deserved pity. She did not feel it. Perhaps he deserved gratitude for slaying the others. She did not offer it. Perhaps he deserved some measure of mercy. She would grant him that which he had given too many women.


    The wind blew at Tuya¡¯s back, tossing her hair out in front of her. She assumed wind form, leapt up, and plunged the spear into his open mouth.


    He slumped to the ground, spear caught somewhere in the back of his throat. She pressed her foot against his neck and pulled it free, his blood spilling onto the red swirlythorns that Sarnai had loved most.


    Zero.

 Chapter Twenty-Nine: Wilders

    Tuya inhaled, as Zaya taught her in those trees just on the far end of the meadow many seasons ago. She held the breath, letting it soothe the frantic girl within, the one who worried that some flaw in the plan would make itself known now that everything appeared to have gone as perfectly as she could have imagined. She exhaled, and tossed the spear to the side, leaving it beside the broken remains of Tokhun, his mind venturing into the Hollows, fleeing far, far from the one he could not dominate.


    Normally, she would do this many times, breathe like Zaya, until she felt as comfortable as she did in Zaya¡¯s arms as a child. Instead, the smile on Masarga¡¯s face stole her breath. The little girl born of the Hollows, with the pale skin and dark hair of Celegana¡¯s children, rushed her, bombarding her with elation before crashing into her with her growing arms. Tuya closed the embrace, laughing, intoxicated by the mental and physical touch of her favorite person in the world. I love you.


    ¡°I love you too,¡± Masarga said, loud enough that the other women could hear it as they circled around them, forming a ring within the ring of trees surrounding the meadow. Masarga clung to her, and Tuya¡¯s tears were no longer for joy alone. ¡°You belong to yourself now, Tuya. You did it.¡±


    Tuya squeezed, never wanting to let go, not wanting to leave Masarga in the Hollows without her.


    ¡°But you must,¡± Masarga whispered, breaking Tuya¡¯s heart with her stifled sobs. ¡°You must, Tuya.¡± Masarga buried her head into Tuya¡¯s side. ¡°They are out there waiting for you, those farawaylanders who will help us fight the chimaeras. I will wait for you. I will stay strong. I promise.¡±


    Tuya wished she could stop her quaking, stop her crying, nearly as well as Masarga was. I cannot leave you here alone.


    Masarga sniffled, lifted her head, her pretty amber eyes full of restrained tears, full of hope, full of more strength than Tuya could remember ever having. ¡°I am not alone.¡± She pulled Tuya toward the ring of women. Among them were girls so young they still needed to feed on one of the older one¡¯s breast, most were unblooded ones, like Masarga herself, but there were plenty who were full women, and one old woman among them, watching Tuya with her proud Mahagan eyes.


    You are not alone, Tuya realized.


    Not anymore. Not since you opened my mind, Tuya. Now, I will never be alone again. I will wait for you, but I will not wait alone.


    Tuya wiped at her eyes, as Masarga pulled her into the circle. One hand in Masarga¡¯s, the other held to little Nara, a girl probably with less than sixteen seasons, barely taller than some of the grass and flowers in the meadow. The other women did the same, linking hands until about a hundred women were gathered in the meadow, unified, a community of love and compassion. This is how it should be.


    How it is, Masarga projected.


    Yes. ¡°We have been alone too long,¡± Tuya said, her voice heavy, choking on her emotions already. ¡°Feel the hand of the woman beside you.¡± Tuya studied the circle, noting how fingers tightened around hands. ¡°Feel the hand of your sisters, of your daughters, of your mothers.¡± Celegana¡¯s blessings, she felt Masarga¡¯s hand in hers, little Nara¡¯s tiny fingers grasping at her palm, felt her own fingers together with theirs. ¡°Feel the hand of those who will love you even when you feel hated, who will believe in you even when you struggle to believe in yourself. Look into their eyes.¡± All around the ring, a hundred women, girls trained from birth to never make eye contact, to always stay distant, to let nobody in, broke tradition. Tuya¡¯s eyes glazed over with emotion, smiling back at little Nara¡¯s cute smile. A hundred women with eyes on eyes, hands in hands, minds touching together, sharing this feeling of togetherness. It seemed that Nara¡¯s smile spread through them for soon each woman wore one of her own, each of them beautiful in their own wonderful way.


    ¡°Remember,¡± Tuya said, ¡°You are together whenever your hands can touch or where your eyes can see. You are together whenever your minds can connect. Sometimes, we will need to let go,¡± Tuya gripped Masarga¡¯s hand, squeezing as hard as she could without hurting her, ¡°even when we most want to hold on.¡± Tuya sniffled. ¡°But even when we separate, we are still together. We are not alone anymore. We never will be again.¡±


    ¡°Remember,¡± Tuya said, ¡°I love all of you. I believe in each of you. You are among the strongest people this world has ever known. Yes,¡± she affirmed as many looked down with doubt, ¡°to be standing here today when the world has done everything to knock you down. You are strong. You are worthy. You are you,¡± Tuya croaked, ¡°and that is all you ever need to be.¡±


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    Tuya inhaled, trying to recover her flailing voice, she looked among the flowers, gazing at Sarnai¡¯s red swirlythorns and seeing the same beauty her best friend had years ago. ¡°Each of you are as beautiful as these flowers, growing in this land fouled by tamer hatred. There will be seasons of withering, when it seems no light shines and darkness consumes all hope. But, even in that darkness, you will continue to endure together. Remember to never give up on each other. Remember that when one of us falls, it will be our love that lifts us all back up, that makes our pain smaller.¡±


    Masarga and Nara squeezed Tuya¡¯s hands, making her pain smaller. Each woman watched her, waiting on her words. They all looked so alike and so different in so many ways. Each of them had her own story unlike any other and exactly like every other. Tuya wished she could memorize them all, never leave them at all, but she needed to remember herself, remember that she would still be with them after they left. The way Zaya, the way Sarnai, the way Yaha, and, yes, the way Masarga would always be together with her. Yet, for all that, Tuya hoped she would meet them all again someday, whether in the Hollows after the fighting was done, or in another life, whether as a part of Celegana, or in some other Paradise beyond the mortal vale.


    We will see each other again, Tuya, Masarga projected, squeezing her hand. I will keep us together. The seed will keep growing until it can stand as tall as the Spire. I will make you proud.


    You already do, Tuya transmitted to her, inspired by her. ¡°We do not belong to the tamers,¡± Tuya told the women, whether wilders or farawaylanders brought here. ¡°Each of us belongs to herself. We are so much stronger than they tell us we are. They hurt us and push us down because they are afraid of what we can do if we link together. They call us khorota and tell us we are worthless because they are afraid of how worthy we are! The Tamers are afraid! They fear we who grow life and make it more of itself! We who restore harmony and defy domination! We who use our love to make pain smaller! We who will claim ourselves! We, the Wilders!¡±


    The circle of women, of wilders, chanted, a hundred voices starting in discord, harmonizing into a steady chant. ¡°We, the Wilders! We, the Wilders! We, the Wilders!¡±


    The energy was unlike anything Tuya ever felt. She smiled. She cried. She laughed and she sighed. They were not alone, they would still have what she gave them, they would be together. Even so, even though she must, she hated to leave them when they were together at last. It felt like one of Yaha¡¯s stories where it ended right when it got good. After coming so far, through so much, it felt so wrong that this was the end of her time with the Wilders, with one hundred women exactly like each other and unlike any other.


    Even Masarga¡¯s mind, sensing the end, tried to quiet her sadness. She refused to transmit the thought but her feelings spoke it clear to Tuya. At the end, Masarga did not want to be without her Zaya, her mother. Tuya lingered, contemplating if she could stay and find a way to defeat chimaeras or if she could take Masarga with her. This same contemplation that repeatedly led to the same conclusion for the past season each time it was contemplated. Still, she contemplated again, unable to accept letting go, unwilling to do to Masarga what Zaya did to her.


    You must go, Masarga projected, not feeling it quite so strong as she had just before they formed the circle, and I must stay. Just as your Zaya left and you remained. She gave you what you needed, just as you gave me what I need. Masarga¡¯s eyes went out to the little girls in the circle, honing in on little Nara just beside them. Just as she will need me and her children will need her.


    Tuya thought of the pain of losing Zaya, of knowing that she had the choice not to do the same.


    And how did you endure that, Tuya?


    Sarnai¡¯s face, cries in the rain sniffing Paintaker, smiles in a Hollow shaping furs as they practiced linking together, pain made smaller, love.


    Masarga sent images of her own. Images of six girls around a fire. Her eyes found Enkhti, Berude, Seruun, and Ibakha. I am far less alone than you were. She set her crying amber eyes back onto Nara as the Wilders, Nara among them, continued to chant. She will be even less alone, but she and her children and her children and onward will always be in pain as long as the chimaeras make us hurt. Only you can stop them, mother. Only you and only if you go.


    No. We can find¡ª


    ¡°Listen!¡± Masarga howled, her voice stifling Tuya¡¯s thought. The chanting lulled and soon all that they could hear was the wind blowing from the sea. Masarga gripped Tuya¡¯s hand. ¡°Tuya must leave to find friends who can fight the chimaeras with her. While she is gone, she will still be with us, and we will not just wait for her. We will spread our seed across the Hollows, linking with the many, many of us still alone in the other regions! We are a drop in the good flowing water now, but soon we will be the whole flowing water itself! When Tuya returns, it will be us who help her wash away the Tamers! We, the Wilders!¡±


    ¡°We, the Wilders! We, the Wilders! We, the Wilders!¡± they chanted.


    Accept it, mother, Masarga transmitted, infusing Celegana¡¯s strength into the link and where their hands met, making pain smaller and making Tuya more of herself.


    ¡°If I must,¡± Tuya said, wishing it were not so, but knowing that it was.


    You must, Masarga projected. We will spread to the other regions. We will do our best to blend in, to grow, and to be ready for you when you come home to us.


    Tuya threaded her fingers through Masarga¡¯s. ¡°I will come back for you. I promise.¡±

 Chapter Thirty: Unfair

    Tuya never imagined feeling such sorrow to see the edge of her region. Somewhere behind her, one hundred wilders were scattering, dispersing into the distance in small groups, as if they were all blown by the winds of her spear ending Tokhun. Among them, Masarga and her four closest friends.


    Fingers slipping away from hers, arms falling to the side, final glances, and then, minds parting. Tuya relived it, each time feeling more wrong that she let it happen. You were not supposed to say until next time to the person you loved most. You were supposed to be together. You were supposed to protect them, to watch them grow, and guide them along the way. You were not supposed to leave them behind in the Hollows.


    Nobody would protect Masarga from Gurg now, or even the thousands of tamers presiding over the Hollows. Many wilders might not survive the cycle of the moon, if not the sun¡¯s rise and fall, because she was leaving them behind to face Gurg¡¯s wrath.


    Remember, Yaha projected, you are also leaving behind the bad. You have dreamt of this day all your life. You have won yourself. You will escape. You will not be tormented by tamers anymore. You will find yourself in faraway lands and you will find your way back here and drive Gurgaldai ezen Celegan to his knees.


    Somehow, this day long dreamt felt empty now that she was leaving behind everyone she loved. Almost everyone at least.


    Darrakh¡¯s anxiety was profound. Jittery, he was, his head swiveling without rest, his eyes darting all around him, afraid of streams of consciousnesses he could not see, knowing that Gurgaldai ezen Celegan was all-knowing with eyes and ears everywhere in the Hollows, that escape was far from certain and anything uncertain in the Hollows was certain to be trouble. He spoke little since the claiming, letting his feet do the talking as they left behind the region. What little he did say was to reiterate that Tuya and Yaha stay linked, that he would be ready to pretend to be their claimer as they ventured through regions of forest full of tamers who would question them, who would challenge him.


    Yaha pulsed with determination, her mind honed on the purpose they shared, her thoughts ever-so-often drifting to self-sacrificial, as if her honor was in dying to protect Tuya rather than living with her. The truth was, she preferred her own sorrow to the contagion of her lover¡¯s anxiety or the heaviness of her mother¡¯s intentions to die for her. The truth was, this day did not belong to dreams and glory. Dreams and glory were nothing but the lies she promised to herself to make it this far. Yes, it was better to dwell in sorrow of the past, of things that happened, than to linger in the truth that she was lying to herself with dreams about how things were going to go today and tomorrow and every day after. Claiming herself was a beginning and ending. It was easier to look back from the end than it was to look ahead to the beginning of all new challenges.


    Thus, Tuya let herself lament the loss of almost every person she loved. People who would struggle and suffer without her and because of her. A hundred women who did not get to leave. A hundred women who deserved to be free no less than Tuya, who lived lives as hard as she had. She was just like them and yet it was her who got to leave this life behind. It is not fair.


    Fair? Yaha thought. Life is not fair, child. It never has been and it never will be. Fairness is an illusion. It is a parent¡¯s lie to a child who needs to believe that good things happen when they do good and bad things happen when they do bad. You do not leave because of fairness, you leave because you have earned this.


    Tuya bristled, wanting to shove Yaha out of her mind, as they meandered through a small animal path through the thick branches of young trees and bushes, staying out of sight of whatever tamers or wilders resided in the neighboring region. She could sense the life around her, or rather the absence of it, even as her eyes traced the path forward, allowing them to navigate through places better suited for rabbits than runaway khorota.


    It is not fair that I have greater abilities. I did not ask to be special. I did not want to be unlike everyone else, to be Chosen.


    Yaha snorted. Her amusement flowed to Tuya, clashing with her antithetical frustrations at the unfairness, at the injustice of her life. There was nothing to laugh at. A hundred women left behind and one leaving just because her eyes saw further and into the dark and her mind reached further and could break the links that bound them.


    People all over the world are born with great ability, Yaha lectured. You are doubtless one of them. Yet, it is not who you were born that made you worthy of this. It is not because Celegana blessed you with one of the mightiest minds this world will ever know, nor because Norali made you her shining light, and least of all because some monster chose you. You are here, Tuya, my little empagong, because of the decisions you made and the person you choose to be. You are here because you spent seasons preparing yourself. You grow faster and your peak is higher, but you are the one who chose to climb. It is not fair and you deserve to be free. Both can be true, just as it is true that it hurts to leave behind women who do not deserve to suffer just for being born, it is true that you have done everything you needed to leave this place behind you.


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    Yaha¡¯s lecture penetrated layers of stubbornness and rebellion, sinking in. Both can be true. I earned this and it is unfair that the people I love must remain here. Seasons of training, of learning how to commune with plants and make them grow, of finding blessings in the dark, of turning her body into a spear, of planning for this day, and of winning her freedom belonged to her, just as the sorrow and guilt did.


    Yaha¡¯s amusement trickled into her mind like rain pouring hard from the sky. I must be getting good at this mentoring.


    Tuya grinned for the first time since leaving Masarga. Joy could be found even in the heart of sorrow, like a withering flower in a dark place long without light, Tuya would nurture it. Must have been born with a great ability for it.


    Yaha chuckled and cleared her throat as they reached a small stream running downhill, a weak flow of good water along rocks surrounded by the thickest of forest, tiny hollows left behind and land overgrowing from being abandoned by tamers and wilders for time unknown. Wildlife flourished here, Tuya sensing hundreds of small creatures. ¡°Or hardened by the hardest of pupils!¡±


    ¡°No, I was the perfect student. Never gave you any trouble.¡± Tuya kept her lips a flat line, even if her mischief permeated their link.


    ¡°If that was perfect, I think we need to revisit your vocabulary, Tuya. I think we may have lost that one in translation.¡±


    Darrakh twisted his neck, grinning so sweet that Tuya surprised him with a kiss on the cheek. ¡°You were great back there. I owe you.¡±


    ¡°You never owe me anything, for you have given me everything that has ever been good in my life.¡±


    She intertwined her fingers with his. ¡°I have more to give.¡± She threaded her other hand through his hair, his wonderful, messy hair, and put her mouth near his. ¡°Much more.¡±


    ¡°More Tuya is good,¡± Darrakh said, flashing his beautiful grin.


    ¡°Adolescents,¡± Yaha muttered, an unwilling recipient of the unwelcome images running through Tuya¡¯s mind.


    ¡°Old people,¡± Tuya and Darrakh rebounded.


    ¡°I will let you know that I am only thirty-five years old! Among my people, I am seen as young.¡±


    Tuya glanced around, surveying the emptiness of this beautiful place where no person probably had been in many cycles of the seasons. Of note, there were no Mahagans here except for Yaha. ¡°Are we among your people?¡±


    Darrakh guffawed.


    ¡°Why do I even bother!¡± Yaha snapped, splashing stream water on her face, exhaling some of her annoyance.


    Tuya deployed her smile and shifted her voice, using only the tongue and not the throat to make the sounds. ¡°Because we love each other?¡±


    Yaha shook her head. ¡°I pity you, Darrakh of the Hollows, for you must deal with this girl whose ability to inflict frustration is only surpassed by her ability to diffuse it.¡±


    Darrakh sighed, his joy receding and anxiety surging back. Their hands fell to the sides, Tuya unsure whether she let go or he did. Perhaps they both did. She felt a wrongness in her gut, a whisper in her mind urging her toward doubt. Of all the things she never expected to happen, Yaha came to Darrakh¡¯s defense. He worries about getting out of the Hollows. Worry makes men go stupid, Tuya. Makes them shut their mouths harder than a clam protecting its pearl. Get used to it.


    Darrakh crossed the stream, extending his mind into the forest ahead of them to detect what life he could. ¡°There are people ahead. It will not be long now until we cannot go back anymore.¡±


    Tuya would always have the memory of Yaha¡¯s brief-lived defense of Darrakh. ¡°Go back? Why would we go back?¡± the Mahagan Spear wielded her spear, running her hand over the shaft.


    Good question, Tuya thought, mistrust nipping at her untrusting mind.


    Darrakh said nothing, his anxiety pulsing from his mind sending unclear messages about whatever lurked within. ¡°Were you afraid I would change my mind?¡± Tuya asked.


    ¡°No,¡± he muttered, eyes down.


    ¡°Then what is it?¡±


    ¡°I am just afraid.¡± He gazed up at the Spire, visible through the thick canopy overhead. Somehow, that never changed. She felt Gurgaldai¡¯s eyes on her and knew she would until she could no longer see that beautiful monstrosity of earth and tree stretching toward the sky.


    She tapped Darrakh on the arm. ¡°Let¡¯s keep moving. The sooner we are gone from the Hollows, the sooner we can stop being afraid.¡±


    ¡°I can agree with that,¡± Yaha said.


    Darrakh inhaled, like Tuya taught him, then exhaled. ¡°Remember, when the tamers are around us, I will need to¡ª


    ¡°We know, Darrakh,¡± Tuya said, hugging him. ¡°They are just lies.¡±


    ¡°Just lies,¡± he mumbled, more to himself she thought than to her. He met her eyes, no shining smile now, ¡°Still, I want you to know that I will hate it all the same. I would rather¡ª


    ¡°You will not be hurting me. I promise.¡± She kissed his cheek and handed over her spear. ¡°Just lies,¡± she said, hoping that she was not lying to herself.

 Chapter Thirty-One: Lies

    Just lies, Tuya told herself, wincing at the sound of wood striking flesh, at Yaha¡¯s cry.


    Convincing lies, Yaha projected back. Her face stung, Tuya tried to soothe the pain, to make it small. Do not worry, Yaha thought to her, I can take a thousand smacks to the face from a thousand spear shafts if that is what it will take to leave this place forever.


    ¡°Keep moving, khorota!¡±


    Tuya stumbled forward from his push, nearly slipping on the muddy ground. She caught herself against a nearby hollow where a little girl hid, her eyes low and her shape made small as she folded in on herself. A girl just like any other.


    Keep moving, she told herself. Keep moving.


    ¡°Faster!¡± Darrakh barked. She saw the spear shaft lifting out of the corner of her eye and broke into a fast trot. ¡°Don¡¯t slow down again. Khorota.¡±


    In all the time Darrakh had been in her region, Tuya never saw him like this. She could not look at him now without seeing all the other tamers in her life. It seems easy for him.


    He is doing exactly what we asked of him, Yaha projected.


    That, at least, was true. Tuya never imagined he would do it so well.


    Darrakh fooled the other tamers nearby, fitting in like one of the thousands they would need to bypass to get beyond sight of Celegana¡¯s Spire. Still, the towering mass seemed no smaller than it had at the start of the day.


    We have made good ground today, Tuya. It is going to take days to leave the Spire behind us.


    Days of Darrakh hitting you and shouting at me.


    Days of putting space between where we started. The farther we go, the harder it will be for a chimaera to track us. Yaha forced herself to transmit optimism. Give me a thousand strikes from Darrakh instead of one bite from the Chimaera. Give me life with you instead of a death here.


    Lies, Tuya knew. Yaha did not believe them, but they comforted Tuya all the same, made her pain smaller. Hells, it almost took her mind off the reality that her beloved was putting them through hell in order to escape it.


    He loves you, Yaha thought. Another child of the sand and the Spire. This is not him.


    There was no lie here. Yaha truly believed.


    Of course, I do! If he was going to betray us, he would have done so already. We are all past the point of no return.


    Another truth. There was no going back to the place they were before. No return to the relative peace of the previous season. Darrakh¡¯s fate was bound to hers, just as she had dreamt of. I will endure this.


    You will.


    Tuya hoped those were not lies.


    *************


    The day seemed to never end. Interminable walking, always on edge, waiting for a tamer to recognize them, or to make a claim on her or Yaha. She smeared mud on her face, kept her eyes down, slouched, did everything she could to look broken and ugly, hoping none would want to risk themselves for her. They walked where the trees were smaller, and the holes more likely to hold little girls, but that was not always possible, and even if it was, tamers were wont to stomp into places where little girls hid from them with heads down. Were they to be too furtive, to veer away from oncoming tamers, they would only incite interest. She wanted to hunker down, to move by night using the light of her eyes. Alas, they were too close to where they began and Gurg would start hunting the moment he realized she was gone.


    Thus, they kept moving, and moving, and moving, through terrain that was the same, colored by misery that was the same. Trees with holes, empty meadows, small, underfed girls, women who hid their eyes and worked despite their swollen stomachs, tamers pulsing with hatred and anger. Each region they went through felt the same, the same as her region before she changed it. With Celegana¡¯s Spire looming over them, it felt like they were going nowhere, endlessly walking in circles with Gurgaldai always over their shoulder.


    Use it, Yaha projected. Each of these girls has gone through many of the things you have and will continue to endure them. Remember them not as faceless nobodies, but as people in pain, people deserving of freedom, of love.


    Tuya could not stare at their faces right now. She would not put them in harm or draw attention to herself. She passed the time, imagining what they might be named, picturing how they might live differently once she defeated the tamers, trying to will that future into existence. The day was long, but with this mindset she was able to keep moving.


    Yaha kept herself moving too, sharing a mind with Tuya all the time. Fifty miles, she thought. Fifty miles. Yaha¡¯s mind pictured something called a map, a thing that showed what places looked like if they were reduced to a small thing. In the faraway lands, they made these things to understand how and where to travel. Tuya struggled to imagine such things, tried to grasp being able to see big land as if it was small, like if seen by a bird high, high, high in the sky. No matter how much Yaha tried to explain them, understanding was elusive.


    She could understand how it kept Yaha moving though. Tuya knew not the size of a mile, but Yaha thought it would take fifty of them to leave behind the Celegan Peninsula, to reach a region where they would be harder to track, where they could zig and zag south until they left behind the Hollows and reached the Great Atmana Forest.


    Fifty miles through places that looked the same, with the same two trees. The trees with dark brown bark and wild branches and the massive trees with reddish bark and few low-hanging branches. Sometimes, the trees were packed on top of each other so tight that it was hard to navigate, impossible not to walk past the tamers patrolling their claimed and ordering them around. In other places, several body lengths separated trees from their nearest neighbor and one could see through the region and move more freely. Tuya kept her eyes down, stepping around or over the roots, sticks, and logs omnipresent in every region. Sometimes the land sloped, but most of the time it was flat. Sometimes rainwater pooled and left everything brown and muddy, but most of the time it was dry with untamed green. Tuya lost count of the streams they crossed, often stopping for Darrakh to growl at them to drink.


    Morning passed into midday and midday approached evening. By midday, Tuya felt drained, and each step was a labor. This exhaustion confused her after having spent seasons of running and jumping and crawling and making her body strong. It made no sense.


    This is the way we feel when we bleed, Yaha projected.


    Bleed, Tuya did. Her hides accumulated more and more spots as each step reminded her of how sore and tired she was. I do not like this.


    I know, Yaha thought. Yet, this is what allows us to have children.


    I would rather not bleed than bring a child into this world.


    Yaha¡¯s amusement lifted Tuya¡¯s lips. I was like that too, when I was newly bleeding like you.


    You were?


    Indeed, Tuya. Just because women in the Hollows rarely make it to twenty years does not mean I was not once a teenager who wanted nothing to do with raising a child and hated being slowed down for half a span every month.


    Tuya tried to see Yaha as a young woman. Some things were just hard.


    Yaha¡¯s annoyance also lifted Tuya¡¯s lips. The old woman¡¯s mind wandered, showing Tuya more than she wanted to as she remembered being young. Memories of her and Olono kissing, losing their clothes, and joining together like Renisha and Rahan. Tuya saw more of Yaha as a young woman than she hoped to. Yet, this too elevated Tuya¡¯s lips. In these memories Yaha was something Tuya had never seen. Yaha was happy.


    Yaha tried to stifle the flashes of her past. Yet, her longing for her lost lover only grew, and more intense images flooded her mind. Young, in love, and exploring both her body and Olono¡¯s. Growing up in the Hollows, Tuya witnessed a thousand rapes where men pushed themselves upon blooded women, getting on top of them and forcing themselves inside of them, holding their face to the ground and thrusting with hatred and violence. Yaha and Olono¡¯s breeding, if it should even be called breeding, was nothing like these haunted memories. Happiness and laughter, instead of hatred and crying. Yaha on top of Olono, getting higher and higher as she went up and down, keeping control of the whole, wonderful thing.


    Tuya¡¯s eyes shifted to Darrakh, wondering if she would feel happy if they did the same thing. Kissing him and holding him made her happy. Perhaps, now that she was bleeding, this thing, this joining could be happy, especially if she stayed on top of him. The more she thought about it, the less it seemed like it always had to her. I want that, she decided. I want what you had.


    Yaha sighed. That is your choice, Tuya. Please, be careful with it. Both of them thought of their small supply of numbroot leaf. Before it ran out, the seed would not take root.


    I will be careful, Tuya promised.


    *************


    The hollowed forest grew denser as the sun neared sleep. Tuya¡¯s thoughts cycled between many things, between worry for Masarga and the other wilders, thoughts of helping change the lives of the many women who lived in all the regions of Celegana¡¯s Hollows, and her own selfish thoughts of wanting Darrakh as Yaha had Olono. Yet, even though her mind traveled, her eyes were always here, seeking signs of danger.


    Tamer. On our left, she projected to Yaha. The tall, broad shouldered man approached, much closer than she preferred.


    Try to look ugly!


    Tuya sucked in her lips, scrunched her face, puffed her cheeks, and dipped her head to multiply her chins. She sucked in her stomach and hunched her shoulders, trying to look small and weak. Please ignore us. Please ignore us.


    It must not have been enough. The tamer stopped in front of her. He gripped her face with a firm hand and lifted her eyes off the ground. The pale flesh around his eyes was purpled. Tuya and Yaha knew where this was headed. Few things were more hateful than a tamer who needed to reaffirm his strength.


    Somewhere in the thick wood, a woman cried as a tamer huffed and yelled at her to stop crying. All around the wood, women and girls were out, gathering berries and pulling edible roots out of the ground. Another tamer sat in a nearby hollow, watching it all as he fed himself handfuls of berries he almost certainly did not procure himself. Darrakh lingered behind Tuya, carrying both spears.


    The bruised-faced tamer seized a handful of Tuya¡¯s breast and pinched. She flinched, her hands balling into fists as he squeezed her like a ripe berry ready to burst. He pulled her hair, yanking her toward him, and carefully inspected her face. She grimaced, clenching her teeth to keep from screaming or crying. Tuya hid her fists, wanting to punch her way out of his grip, take the spear, and run it right through his damned heart.


    Too many eyes, Yaha warned, trying to infuse Tuya with calm though she wanted to murder the tamer even more than Tuya.


    The tamer released her hair, let go of her breast, and put his hands atop her shoulders. Tuya exhaled, inhaled, trying to let the calm return. Yaha moved through the same motions, coaching Tuya with her own breathing practice as she untensed. Tuya opened her fists and kept her eyes down. It is going to be alright. We will get through this. Lies, but she tried to pretend they were true.


    The tamer lifted her chin again. He stared at her lightseer eyes. Please don¡¯t know me. Please. She forced herself to keep them open.


    The tamer licked his lips. ¡°Best face Chindekh has ever seen. Doesn¡¯t cry when touched like worthless Saran.¡± His hands slid down the sides of her arms and then up to her waist. ¡°Strong body to bear strong tamers.¡± He traced her cheekbones with a finger. ¡°Very, very good khorota.¡±


    She was done with this. Tuya clenched her fists, anger burning a hole in her chest. No, Yaha warned. You fight and Gurgaldai will know where we are!


    ¡°Chindekh claims you.¡± He took Tuya¡¯s hand and dragged her toward a nearby tamer hollow.


    Tuya dug her heels into the ground, resisting his pull. She looked behind her, panic rising, her breath going fast, heart pounding. Her eyes met Darrakh¡¯s. He was so much smaller than Chindekh. Darrakh trembled, giving off even more fear than Tuya felt, his grip on the spears weak. Weak like him. He was going to fail her. She knew it. Whether the thoughts were hers or Yaha¡¯s, Tuya believed them.


    ¡°Take me,¡± Yaha said. ¡°I have birthed many strong tamers to men lesser than you.¡±


    Tamer Chindekh halted, seeing Yaha as if for the first time. Around them, the women kept gathering, pretending ignorance, the girl kept howling several hollows away, her tamer grunting as he put his seed in her, the watching tamer stuffed his face with berries and kept watching. Darrakh froze and broke Tuya¡¯s heart with his cowardice.


    Chindekh grunted. ¡°This dark one is too old to bear seed. Too ugly to be worth breeding. Mouth too big for a khorota.¡± He scowled at Darrakh. ¡°You should end this one and feed her to the other khorota while a real tamer feeds this one,¡± he pulled Tuya closer to him and reached his hand inside her hides, ¡°his big breeder.¡±


    Tuya cried out now. Chindekh slammed her to her stomach, held her down with his big body, bound her hands behind her back as he pressed down, pulling on her shoulders until it felt like the arms would fall out of them. Tuya squirmed, unable to free herself, as the bruised tamer smiled down at her. ¡°Beautiful,¡± he said, cranking on her arms. ¡°Do not fight me, beautiful. We will make a great, mighty tamer tonight. I will feed you well and he will be stronger than Gurgaldai. You could have no greater glory than this.¡±


    Feet pattered over the ground toward them. Chindekh twisted his neck, a horrid smile on his battered face. Tuya saw the flash of sharp rock, knew before it arrived where it would go, and clenched her eyes shut. Blood splattered on her face. Chindekh gurgled, his grip on her going weak, his body becoming limp. Something pushed him aside.


    Tuya exhaled. She expected to see Yaha, knowing that it would be time to kill every tamer in this region, to run and hope that none were able to warn Gurgaldai of their murders. She kept her eyes shut, taking a few more moments to herself, before the longest day of her life turned into the longest night.


    Not me, Yaha projected, feeling proud. Your Elior was not a coward after all.


    Tuya opened her eyes as Darrakh drove the spear into Chindekh again, this time plunging it into his chest, surely hitting the heart, assuming the damned tamer had one in there. ¡°She is mine,¡± he howled. He hefted the spear again, several errors in his technique, and buried it into the downed tamer¡¯s neck. ¡°Mine!¡±


    Chindekh died, choking on his own blood. His consciousness, a meagre one, seeped out of his body and ventured into the dark. Tuya saw Darrakh with new eyes. He seemed larger, more impressive, braver, and even more beautiful. Darrakh pointed the spear toward the watching tamer with the berries. ¡°She is mine! I dare you to challenge me! I dare you to even think about looking at my claimed!¡± He spat on the corpse of Chindekh. ¡°Go ahead!¡±


    The tamer took his Gidiite bowl of berries back into his hollow. He called out a woman¡¯s name and one of the berry gatherers rushed to obey. Somewhere through the dense wood, the girl still cried out and the tamer howled at her to be quiet. The dozen or so women and little girls gathering food went about their business as they always did, eyes staying far from Darrakh and Chindekh even if their minds pulsed with excitement or fear in varying degrees.


    ¡°Up, khorota!¡± Darrakh howled.


    Tuya launched to her feet and kept moving, Darrakh¡¯s voice chasing her, ¡°This is your fault! You worthless, damned khorota!¡± He chased after her and pushed her against a tree. Darrakh pinned her there, driving his hips into her backside. ¡°You are mine!¡±


    Tuya trembled, and suddenly Darrakh was no thing to be admired, but like every other monster. Just lies, she told herself, tears rimming her eyes. He relented and shoved her forth. ¡°Keep moving.¡± Darrakh twisted on Yaha. ¡°You too, dark one! If you make me late, I will gut you and feed you to the other khorota!¡±


    Tuya and Yaha dashed away from Chindekh¡¯s corpse, Darrakh on their heels, howling derisions every few breaths until they were out of the region. She looked back, seeing only the Spire behind her as the last rays of light vanished in the western sky.


    *************


    He has earned his place today, Yaha admitted, watching Darrakh turning the fish over the flame.


    Tuya smiled. He has. Darrakh brought in a bounty of fish, more than she could have and with far less effort. He seized the minds of several of the creatures in the nearby stream and swam them straight into Tuya and Yaha¡¯s hands. They were eating good tonight and would have supplies for the morning.


    He smiled at her and that made her warmer than their fire could. The first thing he did when they called a stop for the night was apologize, tears in his eyes, his voice cracking apart, for how he yelled and hit them. He apologized for taking so long to stop Chindekh, that he did not know what to do until he did the only thing he could do. He was done letting other men try to take her away, he would die before he let it happen.


    Tuya knew genuineness when she saw it, could read his emotions and feel the truth resonating from him. She told him he was perfect, that he had nothing to forgive, that she would not let him die.


    He did what he had to do, Yaha agreed. Tomorrow, he will do it again. Another thirty miles until I think we are off the peninsula and into the mainland of Vesarra. It will be easier there. We will move by night, with your eyes to guide us, and that monster will never find us.


    Yaha¡¯s hope resonated in Tuya. The woman finally believed she could survive this too. Her mind was a much more pleasant place to share.


    Enjoying the warmth, the meal, and the great company, Tuya could see their next two seasons of travel becoming a rather pleasant ordeal. Nights beneath stars, cuddling beside Darrakh in whatever shelters they could find, claiming each other until they ran out of numbroot leaf. She could see it all so clearly. Too clearly for Yaha.


    Please, Yaha projected, her thought tinged with humor. Some of us are trying to eat here.


    Darrakh cocked his head, hearing Tuya giggle. ¡°What amuses you, my life?¡±


    ¡°I am happy. Thanks to you.¡±


    ¡°Happy?¡± Darrakh grinned. ¡°I think I know what you mean. The dreams we shared,¡± Darrakh paused, head down, sighing.


    The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.


    ¡°You did not believe they could happen until today,¡± Tuya finished. She glanced sideways at Yaha. ¡°Now you both see that we can do this. Part of my happiness blooms from your newly seeded hopes.¡± Tuya cleaned the fish, savoring its succulence, just like she wanted to savor this moment.


    ¡°Moments pass,¡± Yaha said. ¡°Savor, but do not cling, Tuya. All things must be let go of in order to appreciate the moments to come.¡±


    ¡°Worry not, my dear Yaha.¡± Tuya smiled at Darrakh, her mind taking her to the nearby tamer hollow where they would join together, Mahagan style. ¡°I do look forward to the moments to come.¡±


    Please, do not share that moment with me.


    I was not planning on it, Tuya returned, breaking the link. For the first time since awakening to her blood, Tuya¡¯s mind was her own, her feelings were just her own, her thoughts alone in her mind. As much as she loved Yaha, it was a drain to share minds with one so prone to sadness, especially when Tuya herself was vulnerable to the deepest of despairs.


    ¡°I can finish cooking the last few fish,¡± Yaha said, dismissing Darrakh from duty.


    ¡°I can¡­thank you,¡± Darrakh trailed off as Tuya took his hand, leading him to the big hollow.


    Her heart raced, her mind running with the greatest of excitement and the worst of nervousness. The Mahagan way, she reminded herself, not the Tamer way. She wanted to achieve harmony, to show Darrakh that she was his, to feel the truth that he was hers. This was no claiming of one person over another, but a choosing of two people by each other. This was love, not breeding. This was harmony, not conquest. She braved through the parts of her that told her that she should never let a man touch her and she gave strength to the parts of her that wanted to create a bond with the man she loved. She promised herself that this would not be the misery of a thousand woman crying while they were held down, but the joy of one woman being lifted up.


    So, she explored this new frontier, leaving behind the only region she ever knew. Still, one did not venture into new places without keeping herself safe. Tuya retained control, did everything she could to make this unlike the rapes she witnessed in the Hollows and everything like the bonding she saw from Renisha or Yaha¡¯s memories. Darrakh remained below her, his hands and mouth used for love while she made sure that he never pressed her down, only lifted her up.


    One thing was eminently true. This did feel good. Very, very good. Tuya and Darrakh said nothing. Their smiling giggles, their delicate moans, their gentle caresses, and passionate kisses said everything that needed to be said as their bodies expressed their love. She wished it could have lasted forever, but he was finished soon, much sooner than she would have hoped, convulsing and pulsing within her as his mind sense gave off the strongest wave of bliss she may have ever ridden. Tuya kept control, accelerating her rise and fall, savoring every part of this moment, trying to stretch it as far as she could so that this memory would live forever within her.


    She fell into his arms, intertwining herself with him, hoping to get so tangled, like vines around a tree, that they could never part. Breathing heavy, Tuya pressed her forehead and nose into his, stealing kisses between catching her breath. Her magic eyes saw the truth in the dim light of this big hollow. This beautiful boy was the only partner she ever wanted.


    She parted his messy hair, kissed his lips, and told him her truth. ¡°I love you.¡± His big smile made her so happy. ¡°You are where I belong,¡± she told him, caressing his forehead with hers, feeling fully at peace with herself.


    He squeezed her naked back, pulling her in just tight enough to feel his heart beating against hers but not so smothering that she could not breathe. ¡°We will fly away to the faraway lands and find the place where we belong. Together.¡±


    Hope. Norali¡¯s blessing, the guiding light of stars and sun, of the mother of the southern sands of their motherland. Hope. Tuya felt it within herself, glowing, like her eyes. She saw it, the light of hope, glimmering throughout Darrakh, enveloping him like a mother¡¯s loving embrace. The essence of Norali, of hope, of light, shone brighter and brighter until Darrakh lit like a beacon. His sweet green eyes, green like new life in the season of rebirth, burst with silver light, shining like stars in the midst of darkness. Never would they be green again. Silver, forevermore, like beacons of hope set against his beautiful face, guiding her home to the place where she belonged. Darrakh was like her. Darrakh was a lightseer.


    His mouth opened into a wide smile and Tuya knew he saw everything more clearly now. Whatever beauty his eyes saw before in her, magnified. Every beloved detail more of itself, easier to witness and to appreciate. Darkness fading into light, dread giving way to hope. She could feel it echoing off his mind and resounding in hers. ¡°I believe! I finally, truly believe!¡±


    Tuya¡¯s silver eyes could not look away from his newfound lights. Never before had she felt less alone, knowing there was another person in this world like her. Seeing the beauty in him, in his new blessings, helped her see the beauty in herself. She mussed his messy hair, letting herself feel happy, feel free, savoring this moment that would not last forever but began their new forever. ¡°You believe we can do it.¡±


    ¡°Yes!¡± Darrakh grinned, tears filling his eyes. ¡°We will fly away to the faraway lands! Together!¡±


    ¡°Together,¡± Tuya agreed. She kissed him, keeping her eyes open so that she could stare into his lightseers. Hope without doubt. She could not remember ever feeling this way. All of her believed that everything would go well.


    They kissed and kissed, their hands going on adventures, exploring each other¡¯s beauty. Soon, she felt him growing inside her. Giggling, she bonded with him again.


    If anything, the second time felt even better than the first with all the anxiety gone, blown away like dead leaves that did no good anymore. For some reason, it lasted much, much longer than before, and she felt herself going higher and higher, losing control of her body as it moved with a will of its own. Faster and faster they raced, her heart hammering and her consciousness a flood of pleasure and harmony until she convulsed in synchrony with Darrakh. This wonderful feeling. This beautiful thing. This magical union. This, she could get used to. She planned to.


    Tuya planted a kiss on his lips. ¡°You will need to practice those maneuvers at least once a day, Lightseer Darrakh. Practice makes perfect.¡± She exhaled, inhaled, regulating her happily disheveled breath.


    Darrakh chuckled. ¡°That sounds like Yaha talking.¡±


    ¡°Nope. All me. Tuya the Wise. Could you imagine sharing a mind with Yaha while we bonded?¡±


    Darrakh¡¯s panic surged, blasting away joy, comfort, even hope. He looked as if he saw Gurg in the hollow behind her. His fear spread like a contagion, blasting away the absolute comfort and carefree joy of the last moments.


    ¡°Tell me that you are linked. Tell me now! Tell me,¡± he croaked, ¡°tell me you did not break your link.¡±


    ¡°I am not linked,¡± she muttered, fear and confusion blending into an unwanted union of bewilderment, his panic seizing her, making everything seem like it was moving so fast and yet not moving at all. ¡°I did not want to share my time with you, with her.¡±


    Darrakh slammed his eyes shut. He shook. His whimpers were broken up only by his panicked wheezing. Fear froze Tuya. She tried to understand, but her mind went slow, like a slug that did not see the spear coming. ¡°I told you to stay linked! I told you both!¡±


    Tuya pulled herself off him. A sudden wind blew a fierce chill into their hollow as she peeked out into the starry night. The fire burned, but Yaha was not beside it. Her lightseer eyes scanned the forest and her mind sense sought life.


    ¡°He will come,¡± Darrakh whispered. ¡°It is over.¡±


    Sure enough, her life was no dream. Through the trees and the brush, beyond empty hollows, a flood of vapor surged toward them, sweeping aside the trees in its wake, rustling the leaves and coming for her like a wave determined to drown the land. Her wilding could not detect anything else than him. Her eyes transfixed upon the mass of power blasting toward her. Dread smashed into her hope like Aldar, the great hammer of Gurgaldai ezen Celegan, come to claim her. Clinging to dying hope, trying to protect it like a waning fire in a storm, Tuya braced her mind for the imminent collision. She could still ward herself, still drive his consciousness away, still escape with Darrakh and Yaha. Hopefully.


    The Ezen¡¯s consciousness swirled around her, full of rage, seeping hatred into the very air they breathed. Were a spear in her hand and his heart in her sights, she would thrust it as far as she could into that hollow, hateful place. Alas, she could not fight consciousnesses with spears. Worse, she could not protect herself if he attacked another.


    ¡°Darrakh!¡± Tuya rushed to his side and sent her consciousness to her beloved. She was thrown aside, physically, mentally. Her consciousness rushed back into her body as she collided with the ground. She scurried, trying to find her footing. Darrakh landed atop her, knocking her air away, pinning her to the ground with inhuman strength. His face contorted in agony and rage, silver eyes gleaming with hatred, his hands wrapped around her throat, squeezing so hard that his fingernails dug into her skin.


    ¡°I am disappointed in you.¡± The words fell from Darrakh¡¯s mouth, but they were not his. None of this was his, she hoped. This monster was not the man she loved, the man she shared her body with, the man she shared her dreams, her future with.


    She reached out with her mind, trying to find Darrakh within himself. Gurgaldai was all she could sense, his mind so bright that it blinded her to everything else. Tuya reached for him, trying to batter her way into Darrakh¡¯s mind. Gurgaldai swatted her consciousness aside, repelling her with overwhelming power, making her shrink back within herself like a small girl being struck by a giant tamer.


    She needed to survive. She needed to draw Darrakh out, but could not talk as he choked her airways, could not find any openings through Gurgaldai¡¯s consciousness. Desperation, like a little squirrel trapped beneath the paws of a wolf, sent Tuya into a frenzy. Darrakh! Her nails clawed ravenously into Darrakh¡¯s arms, blood tracing down them as she ripped away at her lover¡¯s flesh, trying to move him off her, trying to conjure him with the pain, with her pleas. Darrakh!


    ¡°He is not coming to save you,¡± Gurg whispered, clenching her throat.


    She tried to twist herself free, contorting and thrashing for her life. Darrakh¡¯s strength astounded her. He was immovable as a mountain crushing a bug. She could hardly imagine Gurgaldai himself being much more powerful than this small man astride her holding her down like he had the power of an Ezen. Panic seized her, pushed her to keep trying, however futile, as breath and energy dwindled toward nothing. Silver eyes gleaming with light glared down at her. Darrakh!


    ¡°You are not his. You have been mine since that moment I first saw you hiding in the hollow, coveted by weaker men who knew nothing of the extraordinary girl they possessed. You always will be mine. Tuya.¡±


    No! Tuya projected. I am mine!


    She strained, pushing against Darrakh¡¯s hands, hands she always thought weaker than her own. No matter how she wriggled and writhed, she could not turn away or push him off. Even in her dying thrashes, his power surprised her, humbled her.


    ¡°It is pointless to deny me, to deny Celegana, to deny fate.¡±


    She denied him, she always would. Tuya ripped at Darrakh¡¯s wrists, seizing a pressure point, pulling them off her throat, buying herself a couple of breaths before he slipped free of her grasp and clamped her throat once more. This time he leaned forward, giving her no space to pry at his hands. She tried to slam her head into his, only for him to pull it back, using Darrakh¡¯s lightseer eyes against her.


    Powerless, she thrashed, her best not good enough. She pushed through the urge to surrender, to give in, but it grew harder the more futility denied her.


    ¡°Go on,¡± Gurg dared, ¡°Try me again. See just how pointless your resistance is. Go on, you stupid khorota.¡±


    Tuya strained her mind, reaching once more for Darrakh. If only she could make him come out, help him resist Gurg, together they might be able to still survive this. Tuya honed in, trying to find Darrakh. She was hit by the wave of rage emanating off Gurgaldai. It battered at her mind, she clenched her consciousness, and dug in, trying to withstand the waves as they slammed into her. She clung, feeling like a hurricane was throwing her, repelling her from reaching the depths. Tuya held on, blood trickling from nose, ears, eyes, and mouth, straining harder and harder until she stretched her mind beneath the anger, finding a bottomless depth of sorrow, a quiet ocean of loneliness and heartbreak ever lurking beneath the loud, violent, waves of wrath. Even here, she could not find a trace of Darrakh within. In this whole wide ocean, he was not even a drop of water.


    Darrakh!


    Nothing answered her desperate plea. Not even a whisper or a murmur of her beloved seemed to remain. Tuya tried anyway, as she always had, trying to believe that her best was enough despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Be free, Darrakh! Be yourself!


    Darrakh¡¯s face grinned down at her with malice. She might as well have tried to cut down a great big hollow with a flower petal for the effect her wilding had on Gurg¡¯s hold over Darrakh. ¡°Be himself?¡± Gurg laughed, easing the grip on her throat so that she could steal a few breaths. Gurg twisted Darrakh¡¯s soft voice into something harsh and evil. ¡°This is who he is, fool khorota. He is a tamer. He serves me. He has done better than I could have ever anticipated.¡±


    Gurg inundated her mind with Darrakh¡¯s memories, several of them crashing into her at once, peeling back layers of lies and showing truth. Things that could not be. Darrakh being sent out to spy on her and rushing to tell Gurg about everything she said in their meetings in the dark place. Gurg instructed Darrakh to help her escape, to see how far she would go, even to seduce her. The Ezen knew of her plan long before today. Not only did he allow it, he was accomplice to it, shaping Darrakh¡¯s involvement in every way.


    Lies!


    No. This is the first truth he has given you. You fled because I allowed it. You are caught because I demand it.


    Lies! Tuya pushed on him, reaching, scouring the vastness of Gurgaldai ezen Celegan, searching for the boy who could not have betrayed her, pleading for him to explain, to reassure, even as her mind assembled all the pieces together. Darrakh who never linked with her. Darrakh who was too kind to be released from the Spire without this mission. Darrakh who lied to her face for seasons. It was far easier to lie to herself than accept that one of the best things that ever happened to her was one of the worst. She tried to shut her mind to the truth, to seal it in a dark place she could not find, even as it kept forcing its way into the light. She denied it, like she did Gurg.


    You were never going to choose me, Gurg projected. The sorrow emerged, rising above the wrath, subsuming their minds. You were never going to love me. You would run away from your purpose, dooming the whole world for your own selfishness. You needed to learn the hard way. There is no escape from me.


    Darrakh!


    He is mine! He has always been mine!


    Lies! Yet, even as she forced herself to deny, she knew these were no lies. She was a lightseer, blessed with true sight, and there would be no resigning these bitter realities to the dark corners of her mind, no pretending.


    Darrakh¡¯s face grinned. ¡°It must hurt, knowing that the person you want to love you the most is the one who betrays you the worst.¡± The grin faded. ¡°I wonder what that is like.¡± Gurg breathed heavy, the restraints on his rage breaking, tears filling Darrakh¡¯s silver seers, as Gurg¡¯s choking grasp slipped away, forming into fists.


    Her skull rattled from the first blow and barely registered the second. Tuya cried out, trying to will herself to fight, but finding no fight left in her. Even if Gurg lost control, if he beat her to death with Darrakh¡¯s fists, she did not have it in her to fight unwinnable battles anymore. Gurg was right. There was no escape.


    The fist lingered above her, her vision blurring out of focus as stars danced above her. Darrakh¡¯s voice said something but she could not hear it through the ringing in her ears and the fog clouding her mind. A blackness burst forth and Tuya felt the weight fall off her. Shouting, screaming, the sounds of struggle.


    Yaha. Tuya fought to make her lungs work. I am coming, mother. She staggered to a knee, stabilizing herself against the innards of the big, red hollow.


    Yaha did not need her help. Her fists unleashed a devastating litany of blows to Darrakh¡¯s body. Tuya suppressed sympathy. Darrakh was not the man who would be her Olono, her Rahan. She tried to kill the compassion, execute the love. Gurg helped, laughing as Darrakh¡¯s body suffered blow after blow.


    Still, love refused to let go. If everything was lies, why did his eyes turn? If everything was lies, why did she always sense his happiness when they shared precious moments or his joy when he made her smile or helped her? Yet, he betrayed her every step of the way. He rushed to tell every secret to Gurg and she ¡­ she had given him everything. Everything! How could she have been so blind? How could she, who sees better than any, or senses thoughts and feelings better than any, be fooled just like any other girl?


    Never again, she promised herself. Never again will I give myself to a man. Never again will I trust one who does not link with me.


    Through it all, Gurg kept laughing, eyes on Tuya, as Yaha slowly murdered Darrakh.


    ¡°You treacherous snake! All along, you were just another fucking tamer!¡± Yaha roared, striking out like a lion, sending him sprawling to the ground as her fist collided with his face.


    Despite the betrayal, love still clutched to life. She could not watch this anymore. ¡°Stop! He is tamed.¡±


    The color drained from Yaha¡¯s dark face. Her hands, coated in blood and cracked from their hammering, trembled. ¡°No.¡± Tuya watched as hope died in her mother, like it had in Darrakh. Yaha sobbed once, then contained it, hands over her mouth, tears dancing in her eyes. ¡°No.¡± Yaha roared, cursing each of the Divine Thirteen.


    Gurg grinned, showing Darrakh¡¯s teeth. ¡°Done already, dark one? Come on! No vengeance for your spearmate? Which of the Chimaera¡¯s heads slew him?¡±


    ¡°Can you break the link?¡± Yaha asked, clenching her jaw tight, her fists still balled. ¡°Or do we need to leave Darrakh behind?¡±


    ¡°Leave?¡± Gurg laughed. ¡°Run! Hide! Fight! Beg! You cannot leave, dark one. You will not survive to see the big lightmaker awake.¡± He leaned forward. ¡°You will soon be returned to Celegana, reunited with your spearmate, with all the dark ones you led back to the ground. Perhaps you should join them now. Kill yourself and spare me the pleasure of tearing you apart.¡±


    Yaha exhaled her anger, grabbed her spear, and stepped into lion stance. ¡°Tuya. Can you free him?¡±


    ¡°Free him?¡± Gurg laughed. ¡°He is already gone!¡± Darrakh¡¯s eyes leered at Tuya, penetrating her with Gurg¡¯s all-knowing stare. ¡°Freedom, Tuya! Like you gave the last of my dark ones! Can you give it to him? Can you give it to your betrayer? Your lover? Pick up your weapon. Make his pain smaller.¡±


    ¡°Tuya!¡± roared Yaha and Gurg.


    Tuya did not know how to make Darrakh¡¯s pain smaller, or even if she wanted to. She did not know what was right. Had she ever known? She did not trust herself. How could she? Confused. Helpless. Powerless. Trapped. Like a tamed beast, she did nothing of her own will.


    Yaha turned to her. ¡°You need to make a choice!¡±


    Darrakh¡¯s body vaulted forth, charging Yaha while her guard was down. He stepped past her thrust, moving inside her reach. Gurg closed the gap, seized Yaha¡¯s throat, kept his feet moving, and slammed her back into the hollow. Her nose shattered as Darrakh¡¯s palm struck it, undamming a river of blood. Yaha tried to swing with the spear, tried to slash him across the back. Gurg seized her wrist, clenching until she dropped the spear. One hand gripped Yaha¡¯s throat, pinning her back to the hollow, the other collided with her gut, once, twice, thrice, more, going until Yaha started to purple.


    Yaha slumped beneath the flurry of blows that kept raining down upon her.


    ¡°Your girls worshipped me in the end,¡± Gurg said, driving another fist into her belly, ¡°for I am Chosen of Celegana.¡± He threw Yaha down to the ground. She gasped for air, staggered to her feet, and was thrown down again, before receiving a mighty kick to the teeth. Blood spilled from her nose, from her mouth, through gaps where teeth were moments before.


    ¡°Tuya,¡± Yaha gasped, failing to rise, her fingers grasping in the dirt, but her arms not lifting her from the ground.


    Tuya knew Yaha was going to die, like everyone else she failed to protect. she watched her lover¡¯s body killing her mother and could not make herself move.


    ¡°You could have lived,¡± Gurg said, lifting Yaha by her hair, howling through her screams of pain, her pleas for help, ¡°You could have been at her side while she restored the world! You could have meant something! Instead, you chose this!¡± He threw her headfirst into the hollow¡¯s hard wooden shell.


    Yaha stopped moving. Tuya stood there, having done nothing, nothing as she watched her mother die. For all her life, she felt hated. Hated by the tamers, by other women, by herself, and, most of all, by the man who chose her.


    ¡°Why?¡± Tuya cried. ¡°Why do you hate me so much?¡±


    Gurg halted his onslaught. He turned to Tuya, eyes full of hate, and, suddenly tears. ¡°Why do I hate you? Why did you hate me? Why did you, the one who makes pain small, refuse me? Why did you betray me after I saved your life? After I made the others stop hurting you? After I gave you everything you wanted? After I gave you chance after chance to choose me? Why could you not love me? Why did you choose to hurt me instead of making my pain small? Why, Tuya?¡±


    Tuya said nothing. She felt wrong, ashamed, for not loving him, and she felt no love for this monster. She could not. Not anymore at least. Perhaps she could have loved Gurg, they boy who wanted to save the world and be loved by her, but she could not love Gurgaldai ezen Celegan, this monster who wielded chimaeras and absolute power, who presided over this abominable society, who would slaughter every farawaylander and say it was for the greater good, who would do all the wrong things he did in the name of Celegana. No. She would not make his pain smaller. She hated him. She wanted him to hurt, to suffer, to feel agony like she did. In that, she supposed, she had succeeded. With no regrets.


    Darrakh¡¯s head shook. Tears glided down his light brown cheeks, the harbingers of the pain she inflicted. ¡°You are proof. Proof that I can never trust anyone. Proof that I will forever be alone. Proof that I must be who I am. For proving this to me, I hate you.¡±


    Yaha groaned. Gurg pressed his leg on her back, pinning her to the ground. ¡°What will it be, Tuya? Will you let me kill this woman who has defiled your mind or will you kill the man you chose instead?¡±


    Tuya picked up her spear, feeling the weight of her impossible choice. For all his betrayal, she still loved Darrakh. Somewhere in there, she was certain he loved her too, that he had found hope tonight, that he truly wanted to go with her to the faraway lands, to fly away, together, from this cruel place. That did not wash away the lies, but neither did the lies eradicate the truth that this was the only man she ever loved, and probably would be the only one she ever gave herself to. Willingly. How could she kill him? After all the nights she spent in his arms? After today? After tonight? She could not find it in her to want him dead. Quite the opposite. She wanted to understand him, to make his pain smaller.


    ¡°Make a choice, Chosen!¡±


    And Yaha ¡­ there was nobody alive that she owed more to than Yaha, who helped shape her into the spear she became, who taught her of faraway lands and how to speak like the people of those places where the trees had no holes. Yaha, who she loved like a mother, who was more of a mother to her than her own lifegiver. To save her, all she must do is drive the spear through the heart of the boy she loved. She could not let Yaha die and yet she could not kill Darrakh.


    ¡°Tuya,¡± Yaha gasped, failing to break out from under Darrakh¡¯s leg.


    One word, her name, uttered from the mouth of her mother. A word colored by desperation, saturated with love. A word conveying seasons of bonding, of giving everything they had to each other. Tuya could not lose her, not when she had the chance to save her.


    Her spear moved through the night, stars shining down from a clear sky. Forth it went, finding the heart of the man who had her heart.


    Darrakh stumbled, spear still in him. He staggered off Yaha¡¯s back, crashing to a knee. Tuya let go of the shaft, unable to hold on, unable to stop crying, hugging her, cold, naked chest, certain she would never feel warm again. Those silver eyes, those beacons of hope, sought her. Darrakh¡¯s mouth twisted into a grin. ¡°So, you have chosen. See you soon, Chosen.¡±


    Gurg¡¯s consciousness flowed out of Darrakh, flocking rapidly toward Celegana¡¯s Spire.


    Darrakh wheezed, her spear still caught in his chest. His silver eyes found hers, his hand sought hers. She met his eyes, she took his hand.


    ¡°Sorry,¡± he said.


    Tuya shook her head. The sobs fell out of her uncontrollably.


    ¡°Come to me. Tuya.¡±


    Tuya, in the end, got the thing she wanted most from him. The cause of their fights, of her mistrust, of her, tragically, well-placed doubts. She extended her consciousness and, like she had hundreds of times before, pressed against his mind. For the first time, he let her in to see the truth.

 Chapter Thirty-Two: Truth

    Darrakh swaddled Tuya in his love, projecting a vision of them sitting on the sands of their motherland, the place where they dreamt of flying away so many nights. The stars were out, shining down on the great, good water where they dipped their toes. He held her hand, his silver eyes gazing into hers, tears coalescing as his smile set like the sun upon an eternal night.


    I am sorry that I hurt you.


    I am sorry too, Tuya thought, more to herself, the link transmitting the thought to him. Despite being enveloped in his love, her pain did not feel small. This hurt, like it always did. She was tired of surviving while those she loved died. So tired.


    I do love you, Darrakh projected. I wish we could have flown away to the faraway lands and found this place. Today, I even believed it would be. You gave me everything that was good in my life and I wanted to give you something better than this. Tuya sat alone on the Isihlan shore as Darrakh faded, leaving her with nothing but grains of sand where his hand used to be.


    Will you miss me, Tuya?


    Tuya cradled his body, his head on her lap. She sobbed, tears falling from her face and splashing onto his. Yes. I will miss you. She caressed his hair and his eyes looked up into hers. ¡°I will miss you,¡± Tuya said. She kissed his forehead. I will always miss you.


    Darrakh felt relief, approaching peace as he came closer to death¡¯s final grasp. Go there for me, Tuya. Go to the place where we dreamt of sitting on the sand, hand-in-hand, but do not let this be your end. Find people to love, people who love you. You deserve better than me, better than a man who cowered when he should have fought for you. I hope, no, I know, you will find them. You can go on. You can fly away to the faraway lands and find the place where you belong.


    I cannot. I cannot escape Gurg.


    Darrakh clutched at her cheek, his arm trembling. ¡°You can. You will. Stay linked.¡± Darrakh coughed, blood wheezing out of his mouth. We cannot find you when you are linked.


    Tuya grasped at the significance of his dying thoughts, as her loss inundated her with broken dreams. No looking up at Covademara in Mirrevar and seeing the infinite flowers upon the branches that went on for forever. No feeling the eternal rains of Dalazuli on the isle of Caleel where the Mahagan Sultana kept her court. No flying on the backs of the dragons of Volqor. No returning to the Hollows with their allies and freeing the wilders and the tamers from the Spire. No sitting upon the sandy shore of Malhaya and looking up at the stars above their motherland. No more Darrakh. Tuya did not feel like she could make dreams come true, did not believe that she could escape this hell, did not know if she should bother to try and go on.


    Darrakh seized her hand, willed his dream into her, infused it with a hope that would not die with him. You will fly away, Tuya. I love you.


    His silver eyes glazed with death. Darrakh¡¯s mind severed connection to hers as his consciousness seeped out of his body. The wispy vapor spiraled around her, wrapping her in a final embrace, love trying to make her pain smaller, before it ventured into the Hollows.


    ¡°I love you too,¡± Tuya said, leaving one last kiss on his lips. She clutched to him, cried into the nape of his neck, as his blood, blood from her spear, smeared on her naked torso.


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    Her world shook, it seemed it could never be stable and certain ever again. She did not want to leave Darrakh, did not want to say goodbye to another person. Everyone was gone. Everyone but one.


    Yaha shook her, Paintaker, the one Tuya found in the rain all those years ago in her hand. ¡°Sniff, my little empagong.¡±


    Tuya inhaled, the pain in her body from her blood, from making Darrakh bleed, dimming like stars fading behind clouds. Paintaker, the ancient flower with sky petals and sun center, smelled like the people she loved, the people who she could not let down. Zaya. Sarnai. Masarga. Darrakh. Yaha. Paintaker, a reminder of the memory of those who suffered, of neverborn children, of women abducted from faraway lands, of little boys in the Spire taught to lose their compassion, of girls who were beaten, and starved, and told they were nothing, of one little girl unlike any other and exactly like every other, a girl whose eyes turned silver in the rain and who tried her best to make pain smaller. Tuya could not let her down by giving in now, could not let down those she loved, could not let down those who suffered. Still, it was impossible to let go of Darrakh, to say goodbye to the man she imagined her future with. Tuya was not ready for those dreams to disappear, to leave her like almost everyone she ever loved.


    Yaha, beloved, wonderful, stubborn Yaha, gripped Tuya¡¯s shoulder. ¡°There were so many times in the last year that I wanted to lie down and join Olono, to step into the Endless Blue and sink to the bottom. Olono was my future. ¡®One more adventure¡¯, I promised him. After that, a hut built on stilts over the water and days spent on white shores instead of on planks. We dreamt of having children of our own. Little Yahas and Olonos running through the jungle and splashing in the sea, with his laugh and my scowl.¡± Yaha sniffed, her hand never leaving Tuya¡¯s shoulder. ¡°We were supposed to grow old together and live out our days in peace. I thought my life was supposed to end when his did.¡± Yaha knelt in front of Tuya, her eyes misty. ¡°Tuya, you did not let me die with him, on that horrible beach with that horrible monster. You did not let me end it the way it was always supposed to end.¡± Yaha brushed Tuya¡¯s hair, just like Zaya used to when Tuya needed a mother. ¡°I am so glad that you did not let go of me. Olono would smile at your laugh and run from your scowl. He would be proud of the life I have lived without him. He would tell me to not give up on you, just as Darrakh would tell you not to give up on yourself. For both of our men, for me, and most of all, for yourself, you must¡ª


    ¡°Keep moving,¡± Tuya agreed, forcing a smile she did not fully feel yet. ¡°And, Yaha, Darrakh gave me a final gift, a powerful truth, our only hope.¡±


    ¡°Oh?¡±


    Tuya brought her mind to Yaha. The old woman let her in, no resistance. The truth transmitted through the link, Yaha¡¯s dread muting, hope rising in its place like a great yellow flower. She offered Tuya her hand.


    Even though it felt wrong, even though Tuya moaned as she let his head sink onto the ground of their hollow, she claimed Yaha¡¯s hand and rose.


    They did not have long to gather their things. Tuya slipped on her hides, claimed the last of their herbs and bundled them into the pockets she made. Yaha stowed away as much of their great fish bounty as she could and dowsed the flames. Both women hefted spears into their hands. Before they finished, shouts and threats echoed through the dark forest where the trees had holes. The Hollows awakened with the din, with calls to capture the runaway khorota, to kill the tall dark one and preserve the sandy one with little lightmaker eyes.


    Tamer consciousnesses passed through the trees, seeking their presence and drifting right past them. Fear stilled in Tuya¡¯s quaking heart. Darrakh spoke the truth. No matter how close the tamer vapors came, and hundreds of them floated within sight, they all went past, as if Tuya and Yaha were invisible. She smiled, chuckled to herself, giddy with hope. We can do this.


    Do not celebrate yet, Yaha transmitted. They will have tens of thousands of tamers on the hunt. We must get far from here and find a place to hide. We may need to lurk for days, gathering at night and moving from hiding place to hiding place until we are gone from here. This could take seasons, Tuya, but if we get through tonight, if we can kill, avoid, and lose our pursuers tonight, we can do it.


    Tuya breathed, as Zaya taught her, and kept going, as Yaha taught her.

 Chapter Thirty-Three: Holes

    Tamed wolves surrounded them, a multitude of yellow eyes looming in the dark amongst the brush and the trails through the tree lines. Tuya flowed into water form, dodging their uncoordinated assaults, lashing back at them with the spear, putting holes in throats, in torsos, hacking away at the muscles that held them upright and made them able to be so swift. The wolves were fast, as fast as Yaha had ever been in any of their training, but her eyes were able to see where they would go and her arms, well-honed weapons in their own right, knew how to put the spear where it belonged, and her legs knew how to step aside, flowing like water and trickling out of danger. Dodge, slash, block, thrust, dodge, repeat.


    The creatures were more vicious in their targeting of Yaha. The Mahagan Spear leapt high, out of reach, running along tree branches, and crashing down onto a wolf, leaping back up before another could latch its teeth around Yaha¡¯s leg. Their minds synchronized, both women entered a state that was both hyper-focused and simply being. They were able to read their enemies, to coordinate their strikes, and to just let their bodies perform movements etched into their memories from hundreds of nights of training for this moment.


    Tuya darted around a hollow, using its size to separate her foes, luring them into spaces where she exploited their lack of coordination. Each tamer was hungry for glory, for their own personal achievements, and would move out of formation for a chance to be the one to please Gurgaldai. She shifted into empagong form, using her surroundings to defend her and allowing her to deliver deathblows as the wolves came single file into her kill zone. Tuya felt unstoppable, like the right arm of death. The monsters were so easy to dispatch, she felt truly unlike any other, like she was born to fight, to kill, to remind the strong that there was one who was strongest.


    Thus, when one struck from her blind spot, finding a hole in the brush, and clenched its teeth around her arm, she was moderately surprised and more than moderately humbled. Tuya ripped her arm free, losing more flesh in the process as sharp teeth dragged across her arm. Growling, she leapt back into wind form and buried a spear into the monster¡¯s eye, disgusted by the sight of her blood filling the creature¡¯s maw.


    Yaha crashed onto the beast a heartbeat later, pulsing with guilt that she let Tuya take a wound.


    Keep going, Tuya projected, slaying another wolf with a thrust to the gullet, barely feeling the pain in her arm. Yaha leapt, higher and higher in the tree, seeking a hole in the tamer pursuit.


    With each kill, the tamer consciousnesses fled, seeking another beast to bind. Men screamed in the night, shouting directions to each other, their foot patter through the forest announcing their approach. Though their consciousnesses went right on by, the tamers themselves in their own flesh charged forth. They killed those they crossed paths with, beasts or tamers, whether on their own or in groups. Yaha used the chaos as their shield, rushing them through areas already scoured by their pursuit, leaving bloody trails behind them, including the drips from Tuya¡¯s own arm wound.


    Whether they ran in circles or moved in any one direction with purpose, Tuya did not know. They kept moving, kept killing, kept seeking a place to hide. The longer the fought, the more Yaha¡¯s doubts bled into their link. Gurgaldai¡¯s threats grew ever-present no matter how much they each tried to ease the other¡¯s dread.


    Tuya bled, her left arm struggling to maintain the strength required to keep the spear up. She killed a tamer, and stumbled to her knees, falling forward as the dead man fell back. Tuya fought to free her spear, her arm hurting, her body struggling to keep up with her will. She felt like a bird with a clipped wing being asked to fly. So tired.


    Yaha, despite her aches, despite her dread, helped Tuya liberate the spear from its place in the tamer¡¯s skull. Tuya heaved from the effort, felt the strain lighting a fire on her shoulders, her back sore and wanting nothing more than to lie down in a comfortable nest. Neither voiced the awareness they both carried with them, leaking through the holes in the walls they tore down between them.


    A bear growled, just beyond the set of hollows in the direction they were headed. Tamers howled, shouting their imminent coming behind them. A dense thicket blocked their path to the left. To the right, Tuya saw a meadow, a possible opening or a place where they could easily be surrounded. She staggered toward the meadow, falling to a knee after a couple steps, wincing as the pain crawled up her arm like a thousand flaming termites chewing through her flesh. For all her sight, Tuya did not see a way out of this. A hundred corpses trailed behind her and her mind sense could not feel their absence with how much hostile life still surrounded them.


    Yaha was more stubborn than her. She hefted Tuya over her shoulder and leapt. She jumped over many body lengths of thicket and landed like a feather on the other side, narrowly missing the thorny brambles. Yaha leapt again and again, taking Tuya through the treetops and putting vast distance between them and their last known location. Despite having nothing left to give, despite an exhaustion beyond a less stubborn person¡¯s breaking point, Yaha kept jumping.


    Tuya¡¯s love pulsed in the link as she used her wilding to try to make Yaha¡¯s pain smaller. She would never be able to repay this woman who chose to be a mother when she could have given up seasons ago.


    The only payment I need, Yaha projected, her body straining as she landed once more upon a thick tree branch, is for you to keep going. Now, enough feeling sorry for me, my little empagong. Use those eyes of yours and find us a safe place to hide.


    I miss the dark place.


    Amusement seeped through the exhaustion. Me too, Tuya. Me too. But when you are out of here, you will find better places. A little beam of light like you was not meant to stay forever in the dark, seeing the same walls every day. You will see the world and it will see you.


    Tuya tried not to cry, tried not to do anything that would make it harder to see. She tried her best, but her best was far from perfect and those tears came.


    You will find us a place. I know it. Yaha forced the belief through, Tuya sensing hope, but also the dreaded doubt from her mother and mentor. Yaha hung by a branch, not unlike the ones they traveled across, and it would only take one bad step for the branch to break and send her crashing down into the abyss.


    Tamer consciousnesses streamed over the canopy, casting a haze between Tuya and the stars. All across the sky, between them and the Spire and the ocean, the gray vapor of those who seized power filled the night, coming from the Spire and within the Hollows. Tens of thousands of minds with the singular purpose of finding her and delivering her to the top of Celegana¡¯s Spire. Tuya breathed and searched. In the distance, hundreds of birds squawked and flew over the Hollows, searching for them from above. Dashing along blood trails, wolves and other creatures traced their scent, catching it upon the wind. Tuya felt when they were nearing with her wilding sense and found pathways around them or places to lurk while they passed, each time fearing for her life, expecting that one wolf might look up or a bird would see them crouched on a branch, or that she might miss a little squirrel and it would chitter away their hope of escape.


    They eluded detection, moving far from the place where Yaha took Tuya into her own arms. Tuya treated her bite with numbroot stem ointment and chewed another leaf, swallowing the bitterness that she would not need it for anything other than stopping bleeding. Yaha did not linger long, believing that once she slowed down, once her body received any signal that it was time to rest, it would never move again. If that was not enough motivation to keep going, they were soon reminded of why they ran.


    The lion head of Chimaera roared through the night, scaring away any untamed beasts and raising the fear levels of the women huddled in their little hollows throughout the many regions of the hunt. Gurg approached, smashing through trees and roaming the land. If they were seen again¡­


    Awful visions filled their link and Yaha pushed harder against exhaustion, Tuya¡¯s eyes tuned in, helping Yaha avoid the birds patrolling the skies and seeking any sign of a place where they could hide.


    When we escape, Yaha thought, crouching low to allow a flock of birds to pass overhead, her mind unable to hide her forecasts of her own death, I will take you to a place where you can learn to shoot arrows. With your eyes and sense, you will be the best sharpshooter in the world. You could drop all these birds out of the sky and they would never know where we were.


    Tuya¡¯s smile did not last long. The Chimaera roared, growing closer, making her doubt whether the link truly protected her from Gurg¡¯s transcendental power. Wishful thinking was no match for the dread and Yaha¡¯s own certainty that she would not survive the night. Visions of her dying to the Chimaera intruded upon their hope making it harder to seek sanctuary in the chaos.


    Tuya fought to keep the light of hope alive. She prayed to her Divine Mothers, needing another miracle. Please, Celegana, let there be shelter in your land. Please, Norali, guide me with your light.


    We need to find a high place, Yaha projected. A place where the wolves cannot smell us and a place where the birds cannot see us. A place where we can avoid tamers in the day when they scour each tree within thirty miles of the Spire. We need a¡ª


    Hole!


    Several hundred body-lengths away, there was a huge red hollow that rose higher than the rest in its region. Hidden amongst its highest branches, far, far above the ground, was a great howler¡¯s hole. A hole burrowed into the tree by one of the great howling birds. If the howler was gone, if Yaha could leap up the branches, if none of the birds saw them, they would be able to hide within without worrying about any tamed catching their scent.


    Yaha could not see the tree, let alone the hole. Tuya directed her jumps, keeping her eyes on birds and her mind attuned to any surrounding life, tracing the thousands of tamer consciousnesses streaming through the night. She felt Yaha¡¯s arms giving out, her shoulder burning from carrying Tuya, her feet struggling to grip to the branches, and her balance wavering with each successive leap. Wolves howled in the woods all around, tamers hooted, searching every hollow and interrogating little girls who soon cried after they were punched and kicked. Tuya tried to not let their pain stop her from moving forward. Yaha kept going, picturing waking up in the morning and seeing the sun rise above the smile of the young woman who held her heart.


    Even the dark-eyed Mahagan woman could see the tree now, if not the howler hole far above hundreds of branches and all their leaves. Yaha forced herself to leap, her body slowing down, her mind churning with determination, with thoughts of protecting her daughter, of giving her the chance at life she deserved to have, that she wished she could have given her that day on the beach when she saved them, before the monster arrived.


    Lightning crackled on the ram head¡¯s horns in the nearby hollows, illuminating the night sky for a few moments. Thunder boomed and Yaha slipped on the branch, tumbling down, crashing through leaves and bringing down a rainfall of twigs with her.


    Yaha released her spear, tossing it to the side, rolled sideways, back down, and gripped Tuya tight. Tuya clung to her, unable to stifle a shriek as the ground encroached upon them. Yaha slammed into the earth, the wind blown from her chest, agony seizing her back. Tuya staggered to her feet, feeling Yaha¡¯s pains through the link. One of the thousands of tamer consciousnesses streaming through the air retracting into the great red tree. A big tamer looked out of the hollow. His eyes widened with recognition.


    Tuya moved as fast as she ever had before, lurching forward, seizing her spear and hurling it several body lengths. The sharp rock point buried into the tamer¡¯s neck. Tuya dashed, finding strength from somewhere unknown, took her spear, and finished the tamer off as he gurgled on his blood. Tuya thrust, in and out, half a dozen times, going until her wounded arm gave out on her. The tamer¡¯s mind fled his body, seeking a second life.


    She could not allow it, neither could she stop it without breaking her link. He will bring them here with his second life. They will see the body. They will know.


    Yaha strained to her hands and knees, her body quaking from pain and exhaustion. One thing was abundantly clear, even if neither tried to voice it through their link: Yaha¡¯s body was going no further. Tuya felt some of her strength restored after being carried through the branches for so long, but still, she was not going to leave Yaha behind.


    The force of Chimaera¡¯s roar resonated through the trees, shaking leaves and people alike. Tuya knew the monster was loud but it sounded like it was just on the other side of the trees, just past the edge of where she could see through the dense forest. She watched Yaha, refusing to voice the obvious as the woman failed to reach her feet again, slumping back to the forest ground.


    Come to me, my little empagong.


    Tuya shook her head. Get up, Yaha! Get up!


    Come to me.


    Tuya stood her ground, another roar echoing through the woods. Yaha looked broken, she looked far, far older than ever before. She was already the oldest woman Tuya ever met and now she appeared to be ancient, corpse-like, with her dark hair matted to her forehead, her eyes glazed, her skin sallow, face wrinkled, bruises all over her body, defined in stark detail through Lightseer eyes. Tuya could not look but neither could she look away. Reality set on her, she just refused to see it. Get up, Yaha!


    Now is not the time for stubbornness, my little empagong. Help me up.


    Tuya covered her mouth, to stifle the sobs. She took Yaha¡¯s hand and pulled, pulled, pulled, dragging heavy weight that did not want to rise, as if it were rooted to the ground. She strained until Yaha¡¯s feet were under her, her arm thrown over Tuya¡¯s shoulder. Tuya tried not to think the thoughts, but they seeped from her, making her feel even more horrible that her final thoughts for Yaha were not ones of comfort and love but of fear and sorrow. Fear and sorrow brought about the guilt and the shame. Tuya should not have made her carry her for so long and so far, she should not have broken her link in the first place, she should have been more careful and not got bit, she should have kept her shriek in and maybe the tamer would have never heard them. She should have been strong enough to save Yaha, or at least strong enough not to make her last moments miserable.


    Yaha¡¯s link was free of those same shoulds. She reached out with loving kindness, touching Tuya¡¯s shattering mind. Hold to me, child.


    Tuya held, clinging to Yaha as they had many nights when the darkness took them. She held to the source of her light, the woman who had given her so much. Who, even now, continued to give.


    I have one more thing to give you. Hold on!


    Yaha leapt up, Tuya hanging to her. Her feet found the first branch, then the second, the third, and on. Slowly, they scaled the tree, the shouts of tamers seeming closer, the Chimaera¡¯s roars breaking the night, thousands of consciousnesses swirling through the surrounding regions. Tuya held on, gripping to Yaha¡¯s back as the woman leapt. Yaha carried her spear in her arms, using it to clear away little branches blocking their ascent. She found the strength somewhere, after it was all gone, after her body was a ruin from the battles and the fall and the long day.


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    You are my strength, Tuya.


    You are mine.


    You may think so.


    Tuya refused to debate her. Her eyes sought upward, trying to help Yaha find the next best leap. They ascended the branches of the giant red tree, this sequoia as Yaha named it, until even Yaha could see the hole near its top. Unfortunately, the reason she could see it was that there were few branches left, especially those worthy of carrying two women. Tuya¡¯s eyes settled on the one she deemed stable enough.


    Doubt permeated the link. Even in her best health, Yaha would struggle to make this leap, let alone this tired version of her carrying another person on her back.


    When I was young, Yaha projected, Olono would dare me to make jumps like this. She sighed.


    Did you do it?


    Yaha¡¯s amusement seeped into Tuya, making her lips rise. Of course! I was once a spry girl, eager to make her mark on the world, reckless to a fault, impervious to doubts. I was crazy Yaha.


    You are still crazy, Yaha. Tuya slipped off Yaha¡¯s back, her own feet touching the branch. She held the woman¡¯s hands, infusing them with Celegana¡¯s strength. You are a Spear. You are the embodiment of the Fourteenth, a hero willing to push herself beyond her limits for love. You are yourself, Yaha. That is all you ever need to be. Tuya imagined it in her mind¡¯s eye, Yaha clearing the jump, Tuya on her back. Then, both could make an easy climb into the howler hole. They would rest and recover, gather what they could within the hole, and fill themselves with whatever they could find. One more jump was all that was between them and the end of this long night. They could still fly away to the faraway lands. Together.


    I am still Yaha, Yaha projected, squeezing Tuya¡¯s hands. Climb on, my little empagong.


    Tuya wrapped her arms around Yaha¡¯s back. The woman set her spear down, trying to hide it within the leaves of their branch. Get up higher, Yaha transmitted. I may need you to grab onto something.


    Tuya obliged her, until her legs were swung over Yaha¡¯s shoulders.


    I always dreamt of carrying my daughter like this, Yaha thought, sadness and joy making an unlikely mixture of feeling.


    Yaha gripped Tuya¡¯s thighs, crouched down, prayed to Zafrir, We need the winds of change, Divine Zafrir. Bless us, so that she may carry change through the world. Yaha breathed in, held, and released. Then, she jumped.


    The wind carried them upward, higher and higher, reaching toward the howler¡¯s hole and the branch beneath it. Not high enough, Tuya knew, feeling the loss of weightlessness as the wind wavered beneath Yaha.


    Tuya felt hands beneath her, pushing upward, launching her skyward for the last two body lengths of the jump. No Yaha beneath her, nothing but air, lots of it, the swarming of tamer consciousnesses, and whatever branches might hit her on the fall down to her death.


    Tuya landed, belly down, onto the branch, her legs dangling over the edge. Sweaty hands grasped at the far side, reaching over the branch to support her upper body. The branch was wide enough to support her body¡¯s width if not her length. Trouble was, it was her length that landed on the branch. Panting, her hands sweaty, Tuya swung her leg, lifting it over the lip, throwing her hips to the side, until, blessedly, she felt nothing beneath her but the branch.


    She held there, the terror now fully entered into her awareness, and breathed. Her fear encompassed all of her feelings, stifled her thoughts. There was no sense of Yaha. Yaha!


    I am here, Tuya. Good landing.


    The woman was calm, her mind peaceful even. No wonder Tuya lost sense of her, her own fear drowning out such a discordant state of mind. I will never, ever, refer to that landing as good!


    Yaha ignored her, the way a serene stream might ignore the splashing of an angry little girl. Keep going, Tuya. Up the branch.


    Tuya obliged, not liking the sway of the overgrown stick beneath her body. She hoped she only imagined the feeling that it was sinking, getting lower and lower. Visions of it cracking and sending her plummeting to her death swam through her consciousness. She dragged herself up the branch, crawling toward the trunk, sliding over smaller branches and their plumage, all while breathing in and out relentlessly. Only when at the edge of the tree¡¯s trunk, just beneath the howler hole, when her anxiety dipped just below catastrophic panic, did she glance down.


    Yaha slumped against a lower branch, her eyes pointing up at Tuya. Tuya knew then that Yaha was not the serene stream, but the creek that dried up in the summer heat. The old woman was not planning on making it through the howler hole. She accepted her end.


    Through the hole, Tuya, Yaha pulsed, her mind sense so weak that the thought felt far away.


    Not without you!


    You will never be without me. You know that.


    Stubborn, even in death. Forget fear. Anger and sorrow made the fear small. That¡¯s right, Tuya projected with a blast of bitterness. If you die, so do I.


    Into the hole, Tuya.


    Tuya held still, refusing. Chimaera roared, and her eyes saw movement underneath her. Birds patrolled the skies throughout the region. Now, they were beneath her current height, or even Yaha¡¯s. At any moment, they could be discovered and everything would come crashing down. She would leap before she gave herself to Gurg. Without Yaha, without a link, she could not escape. Perhaps her mind could live on, seek a new host, and still fight for the Wilders. The Leverians believed in a Paradise where all loved ones would be reunited in death. Perhaps, she would see Sarnai again, and Zaya, and never be without Yaha. Darrakh might even be there. Someday, Masarga would join her. Even if there was nothing else after this, she preferred that nothing to something enslaved to Gurg.


    No. You will crawl into that hole. You will live. You will not give up.


    The audacity! You dare command me to not give up?


    I should know better, shouldn¡¯t I? Unlike my sailors, you never obey my commands. I could imagine pulling out all my hairs were you a crewmate aboard my ship.


    Tuya refused to indulge Yaha¡¯s humor. She was growing just as angry as she was sad, wishing the woman would at least treat this moment with the gravity it deserved. Zaya, Sarnai, Darrakh ¡­ none of them laughed in the face of leaving her behind. Tuya doubted she could ever laugh again.


    My little empagong does not move for authority, Yaha projected, fainter than ever. She does not respect her elders. My little empagong is only moved by love, and, despite all the times you have resisted me, I would have you no other way. You are you and that is all I ever want you to be. I love you so much.


    The anger dissipated, leaving behind a torrential sadness. Tuya felt like she was drowning in that downpour and the flood from a life full of downpours. Just once, she wanted to be proven wrong, that not everybody would leave her behind to face this world alone.


    Very well. I will try. First, go into the hole, my little empagong. The last thing I need is you getting in my way when I leap.


    You promise?


    I promise.


    Tuya tried to read Yaha¡¯s mind, but felt nothing but the faint sense of calm. In truth, she thought the woman lied to her. Still, she rose, she hoped, and she kept going.


    Tuya hugged the trunk of the tree and let her legs find themselves. Zafrir, the Divine prick, buffeted her with mighty gusts of wind and she clung tight to the tree, the fear of death reminding her that she wanted to live. Seasons of drills, of standing on one leg, of finding her center no matter how much Yaha tried to get her off-balance, kept her steady. Tuya climbed, rolled through the hole, and flung herself inside. She tumbled into something soft but scratchy, landing with the grace of the least coordinated person ever to fall into a pit. At least she didn¡¯t spear herself. That was something to be grateful for.


    Still, there was little else worthy of thanks. There were no blessings in this hole. Dead branches, detritus of decomposed fur and leaves, the bones of baby howlers, likely abandoned by a tamed mother. Tuya settled in, taking whatever comfort she could in this dark place of death.


    Alas, like most things in the Hollows, comfort was too much to hope for.


    Tuya, you must find Masarga, and link with her. I will leap down to the ground and try to get as far from here as I can, to lead them away from you. Stay in the hole all day, in the night, see if you can¡ª


    No! You promised!


    Sadness broke through Yaha¡¯s peaceful calm. Tuya felt the tears, the sobs, the agony of a mother leaving behind her daughter. I cannot keep that promise, my child. I wish I could. The hole is too high and I am too weak.


    Tuya wished she could have felt sadness instead of anger, instead of disappointment. When did she ever get what she wished for? You do not get to give up on me.


    I am not giving up, Tuya. I gave you everything I have. I am so tired. I have nothing left to give. Nothing but my death.


    Tuya curled into herself, until her knees were pressed against her chest. She sobbed, as did Yaha, on some branch impossibly far below, rather than where she belonged in this hole. Everyone goes away from me. I cannot keep them safe. All I do is get the people I love hurt.


    You do not hurt me, child. You saved me. You are the greatest thing I have ever done. Never blame yourself.


    Tuya could have more easily jumped atop the Spire and killed Gurg as she could have stopped blaming herself. Every great mistake came back, every person dead or driven away remembered. Her hands covered in Sarnai¡¯s blood, the log¡­ Zaya being pulled away, taking a beating because Tuya could not let go of her, because Zaya comforted her even in one of the worst moments of her own life. Now, Yaha, the woman who carried her through a hopeless night and gave her everything, would die in order to keep her safe. She was a failure, a plague upon the people she loved who only made them hurt more and more until they were gone.


    Yaha¡¯s sorrow pulled Tuya even deeper into her own pain. She could not even give her mother peace of mind in her final moments. Yet another failure.


    You do not fail me, Tuya. You give me strength, as you always have.


    I have taken everything from you.


    No, Tuya, you have given me more than you could imagine. Through the link, Yaha devoted her whole will to transmitting the truth of her words. Tuya was barraged by a thousand moments of gratitude, of purpose, of hope, of love. From the first moment atop the cliff overlooking that forsaken beach, to tonight, and how proud Yaha was of her for enduring, for becoming who she was, the most precious pearl, the scared, little bud that bloomed into a brave, mighty flower, for her little empagong whose song would be heard across the world, who would spread hope wherever she went. Yaha felt fulfilled, a woman once full of holes, now whole.


    Can you feel the truth, Tuya? You are my strength. You will go on and I will be with you, giving you my strength.


    Giving strength. Giving strength. Tuya used her wilding, making Celegana¡¯s essence, her strength, restore life to one of the branches in the forgotten nest. For seasons, she gave Celegana¡¯s strength through her links, letting plants and people alike flourish and become more of themselves. What if she could use the link to make people more like her instead? What if she could give them her strength?


    Tuya closed her eyes, trying to defy the possible, trying to will her mind, her body, her spirit, into Yaha. Tuya abandoned her own body, traversing her strength through the mental link to Yaha. She immersed herself inside of Yaha, merging with her. She could not control Yaha, the way tamers did, but perhaps she could allow Yaha to control her strength, to take it as her own.


    Yaha¡¯s mind sense grew stronger, infused with mental energy from Tuya. Tuya! What are you doing!


    You taught me not to give up, Yaha. Now, I will teach you. Hope lit the link, like light in the darkness, giving Tuya the strength to keep going, even as her body and mind became less of herself.


    Yaha¡¯s eyes were good eyes. Yet, they could not see in the dark, could not detect the color of the feathers of any of the birds swirling in the Hollows below them, could not detect the thousands of tamer consciousnesses seeking for them, seizing whatever beasts they could to hunt them. Until they could.


    Tuya! Even as she protested, Yaha¡¯s consciousness was a place of wonder. Her own stubbornness began to crack. For once.


    Take my strength, just as I have taken yours. Be more of me.


    Yaha could not possibly stand, let alone leap. She could not reach for the wind that had been her constant companion since she took the first leap after bonding Olono. Until she could. Yaha¡¯s body borrowed the vigor of Tuya, shedding years of wearing and tearing, becoming young again, full of life. Strong. Strong enough to fly. Strong enough to not die.


    Tuya!


    Tuya¡¯s awareness of her own body dimmed as she gave herself to Yaha. Distantly, she felt the exhaustion, the thirst, the famish. For all that, she had no regrets. What greater gift could one give to themselves than a life without regret? Perhaps, a life with their friend, their mentor, their mother?


    Take my strength. Fulfill your promise.


    Yaha leapt. Higher, higher, higher, the wind carrying her toward the branch. The light of hope was brighter than the sun, as even Yaha¡¯s stubbornness was blasted away by the radiance of Tuya¡¯s hope. She soared over the branch, easily landing on it. Yaha hurdled herself into the howler hole, landing with the grace of someone who had done this before, and done it well.


    Take it back! Yaha projected, trying to expel the borrowed strength, but being careful not to break the link. She handled Tuya like she was the most fragile and most precious flower.


    Tuya was no fragile flower, though she did feel precious. She retracted her strength, giving Yaha less of her, severing their union without breaking the link. Her mind was her own, her body was her own, even if she shared thoughts, feelings, and intuition with Yaha. Her strength, alas, was no more. Yaha depleted it or it was lost in the transfer, leaving them both exhausted and broken in this dark place without the bounties of their Divine Mothers. No water from Yaha¡¯s Dalis and no food from Tuya¡¯s Celegana. They were famished, thirsty, and more tired than either had ever experienced.


    But they were alive, they were linked, they were hopeful. They were together.


    The chimaera roared from someplace beyond the howler hole. Tuya imagined, with vindictive glee, Gurgaldai¡¯s frustration, his rage, his sorrow.


    You beat him. Again, Yaha projected. Thank you for not giving up on me.


    Tuya nestled against Yaha as they settled into the giant nest within a hole in a tree several hundred feet above the ground. For what felt like the first time in ages, she was happy, she was safe, she was whole. I will never give up on you.


    Yaha smacked her lips together. ¡°Who is the stubborn one now?¡±


    Tuya smiled. Still you.


    Yaha nudged Tuya¡¯s head. Love you.


    Love you too.


    It did not take long to drift into a deep slumber. Tuya could have hibernated for ages and still awakened tired, but the first rays of light were not long in the waiting and they shone through the howler hole. Until they did not.


    Tuya heard the noise, as if through a long cavern, a susurrus fluttering upon the air. Her eyes opened, dazed, not wanting to see anything other than the insides of her eyelids, then closed again, lulled back into sleep by the comforting noise, by the dimming of the light as something occluded the sun.


    Her mind tried to differentiate what was real and what was imagined. Was she dreaming this? This noise? The ebb and flow of light as it waxed and waned through her eyelids?


    She remembered Chimaera, the hideous beast, harbinger of destruction. Her and Yaha¡¯s senses, perhaps dreams, merging in terror as the beast killed Yaha. Once with the crushing coil of the hissing serpent, another with the gnashing teeth of the roaring lion, and once more with the crackling lightning of the bleating ram. Leaving her alone against Chimaera, Gurg¡¯s voice emerging from each mouth. You cannot escape me, Chosen.


    Tuya felt at her side, heart pounding fast, breath spiking, body trembling, grasping with enervated fingers for her mother. Still here. Yaha was warm, breathing slow, heart beating steady. Alive. Only imagined.


    The noise did not go away, light no longer entered the howler hole.


    Not a dream? Tuya opened her eyes, glanced up at the hole.


    She staggered to the far side of the tree, claiming her spear. Yaha! Wake up! Now!


    Panic swept through her senses, jolting Yaha awake. The haggard looking woman saw the same things Tuya did, reaching for her spear and pressing her back against the far side of the tree.


    Tuya clung to her spear, her eyes taking in the mist of tamer vapor swirling around the snow-capped head, the single, beautiful eye colored like the rising sun, the large, lethal beak snapping at them, straining to fit deeper into the hole.


    This is a dream, Tuya projected. Just a dream. She tried to wake up, tried to beg for a different reality. Her eyes refused to open any more than they already did. Realization dawned on her.


    There is no escape.

 Chapter Thirty-Four: Fly

    The giant eagle, a creature native to the land where the two rivers met in Leveria, where the greatest tree in the world rose high over verdant fields of flowers, where the Fourteenth presided over Leverian peace before carrying it to the Mahagans, to the Celegans, and to every place in the world, stretched its neck into the howler hole. The tamer controlling this beautiful creature with feathers the color of Celegana¡¯s earth, except for the snowy ones on its head, with a golden beak and eyes like the rising sun, debased it into something ugly and belligerent. Its angry caws created a discordant din alongside the flapping of wings and the scratching of talons against the sequoia bark outside the howler hole.


    Tuya and Yaha held their backs against the far side of the howler¡¯s nest, spears held tight, ready to be used, if using them was indeed the thing that would help them fly away. The eagle¡¯s beak snapped open and shut, still a body length away from them, but gaining ground with each push. Those horrid screeches ricocheted off the walls of the small enclosure, resonated within Tuya, shaking her to the bones.


    Yaha¡¯s desperation, her uncertainty, her willingness to die if it gave Tuya a chance, blended with Tuya¡¯s sorrow, her disbelief, her oppressing exhaustion. The result was mutual panic, lethargy, pain, and inaction. Hunger, thirst, exhaustion, cramping in her gut and pelvis, disorientation from a body still without its core strength ¡­ Tuya saw no way out. There was nothing left to do. They were found. Soon, tens of thousands of tamers and tamed would be here, among them, the three-headed tyrant. Her dreams would come true, just not the right ones.


    We must not think like that, Yaha transmitted, thinking like that herself. She focused on the one thing she knew, on the spear in her hands as the bird clawed at the bark, trying to find a perch. What happens if we kill it?


    The tamer returns to his body.


    And tells the rest of the Tamers?


    If he already has not. He can speak while fully within another¡¯s body.


    Then we have to fight and run. Now! Every moment gives us greater chance to find another hiding place.


    Tuya¡¯s pains were amplified, her exhaustion deeper than the ocean. Between the hunger, the thirst, the sleep deprivation, first blood, the bite, the day spent walking, the night spent running and fighting, and the vitality she gave to Yaha, there was no running today.


    You are not allowed to give up on me, Yaha projected.


    The giant eagle¡¯s beak snapped and Yaha stepped aside, pushing Tuya tighter into the corner.


    Tuya tried to will her body to be strong, tried to believe in their chances, tried to conjure the light of hope. All she saw were three-headed beasts and a dead mother. I do not choose this, she told Yaha, I simply do not have any other choice.


    Within the link, Yaha contemplated how far she could carry Tuya. She too, was weakened, dealing with the same pains as Tuya, mostly. Neither of them were getting far, especially if one of them had to carry the other.


    Yaha growled at the bird as it snapped closer. She too saw the same three heads, the same monster that took the other sixty-three sailors on her ship, the same end for herself. Yaha denied her eyes. I will not let him have you! Zafrir will lend me the wind! I will fly you away, Tuya!


    The bird¡¯s talons found grip on the tree, its head craning further into the hole, squawking viciously. Yaha careened to the side, stepping under the bird¡¯s beak, and drove the shaft of her spear into the great eagle¡¯s throat. The creature recoiled, dislodging from the perch it made for itself, its wings flapping madly. The great eagle sputtered for a moment, its mind and body at war, landing on the branch below as the tamer fought for control over the great eagle¡¯s body.


    Wait, Tuya thought, a memory tickling her mind, pulling her back in time, to a day where rain poured down from the sky and a tall woman with long hair whispered love in her ear. This day was remembered for many things, but one thing she oft forgot in the midst of all the pain came back to her now. Fly away, friend. Be free. ¡°Fly away to the place where you belong.¡±


    Hope, so quick to flee and even quicker to return, burned again within Tuya. Yaha looked through the howler hole, preparing to leap down and strike the great eagle while it was vulnerable. Do not attack, Yaha!


    Fourteenth¡¯s blessings! Yaha thought, reacting to the plan forming in Tuya¡¯s mind.


    Tuya hesitated, knowing that to do this thing, she needed to sever her link with Yaha, expose herself to Gurgaldai and the other tamers, even if just for a moment.


    ¡°Fly away, Tuya!¡± Yaha shouted, ejecting Tuya from her mind, not giving her time to contemplate the weight of this decision.


    The bird took flight again, the tamer in power. Tuya lowered her mental walls to the cries of the tamed. A seeming infinity of tamed souls begged for freedom, more numerous than she could recall in all her seasons creating a din of absolute agony surrounding the nearby regions of the Hollows. She held her center, trying not to get swept away in the storm of oppression, honing in on the one nearest.


    The great eagle¡¯s voice reached out to her, full of recognition, despite the seasons separating them from the one moment they shared together, the moment where he taught her the meaning of love. Help me, friend! He takes over again!


    Tuya gasped, tears filling her eyes. I am coming, my friend!


    Her mind fused with the great eagle and collided with the tamer. Her friend¡¯s love spread through the link, antithetical to the absolute hatred emanating from the mind of the tamer, a hatred Tuya knew even better than the great eagle¡¯s love, one she would never forget. She need not see the face, hear the voice, or even translate a single thought to know this monster. A bloody log in her hands, a little girl crushed in the mud, words she could never fully unlearn after seasons of trying.


    You did this, Makhun projected, trying to turn the great eagle against himself as he had so many little girls.


    Tuya witnessed the great bird¡¯s guilt. He lost himself to the tamers, again, this time murdering his mate and their three young instead of leaving them behind. The great eagle¡¯s mind staggered, submitting to Makhun, its very purpose for living gone. I did this.


    Tuya¡¯s hands clenched. Hatred and love vied within her, pushing against each other, neither taking dominance. She knew well, so divinedamned well, what Makhun did to make you feel small, to make you hate yourself. A season spent unmoving, wanting nothing more than to die than to be the person who killed Sarnai. That he did this to her friend¡­


    Tuya roared, hatred taking control as she shouted Makhun¡¯s name in the link, projecting her violent desires, wishing she had finished him that day on the beach when she claimed Yaha from him. Some monsters did not deserve mercy. Mercy did not stop her from thinking about him nearly every day, remembering one who hurt her so deep in ways she could never forget. A lesson learned now. She would not spare him today.


    Hatred met hatred, clashing within the mind of the great eagle. I will do what I should have done seasons ago, should have done the day I made you kill Jhorgal¡¯s khorota, before you were Chosen.


    There would be no mercy today, no capturing of chosen ones, no sparing of little, evil men. If Tuya failed, he would end her, end the one who made him small again. Alas, pebbles did not push boulders. Even with her mind weakened from yesterday, she was the stronger.


    Tuya slammed her consciousness into Makhun¡¯s, imagining her mind as giant talons, clawing at his psyche. Though she was stronger, he was not weak, and, worse, he was focused, he was at his fullest. Makhun recoiled from her mental push, then wound his mind like the serpent¡¯s body, and sprung back at her.


    Tuya staggered, her body thrown into the unforgiving innards of the sequoia. Makhun continued his onslaught, drawing the blood from her nose, her ears, her eyes. She was exhausted, trying to ward off his barrage of antipathy. Tuya fell to her knees, her mind strained, struggling to stay tethered to the great eagle¡¯s.


    Hatred waned, failing to power her enough to keep pushing back against Makhun¡¯s even more intense odium.


    Within the link, the third mind, the great eagle, did not ask for his own salvation, but transmitted that same feeling he did all those seasons ago: love.


    Do not let me hurt you too, Batu projected.


    Batu, the great eagle internalized Tuya¡¯s meaning of the Celegan word. Batu.


    Yes, Tuya said, finding strength in love, rising from her knees, leaning against the tree. Love for Sarnai who she killed, love for Batu, who did the same to his family. You are loyal. You are Batu.


    He is not loyal! Makhun roared, his mind like a windstorm pushing them against the edge of a cliff. You did this! Makhun shoved, conjuring memories of Sarnai and of Batu¡¯s family, memories of blood on the log and blood on the talons.


    Tuya reached out, leading with love, for Batu, sharing memories of him flying away from here and dreams of him flying away again, this time with her, with one who loved him and would keep him safe from monsters like Makhun, while he carried her out of this place she did not belong. Together, we can deal with this one who made us hurt them. Together, we can be family. Together, we will find the place where we belong.


    Together, Batu agreed, love drowning out self-hatred.


    Their minds fused, stood strong against the windstorm of odium buffeting them. Batu, once more with purpose, unfurled his wings, fluttering over the branch of his own volition as Makhun tried to retreat. The tamer found no escape. Tuya swirled around Makhun¡¯s consciousness. She shrouded the monster¡¯s mind, pushing him into a tiny sphere within Batu.


    Batu lashed out at Makhun, clawing with talons, envisioning the evil man being fed on by carrion and dreaming of Celegana¡¯s Spire in flames. Die. Die. Die.


    Tuya battered him with logs, showing him the faces of the many, many girls he hurt. You did this! The girls stood over him, hitting him over and over, as she battered his mind, like two handfuls of blows to the face with a thick log. She leaned down, projecting the image of Sarnai¡¯s face looming over him. You did this, tamer.


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    Tuya seized hold of his consciousness, of his entire mental, psychic, spiritual being, and crushed it, crushed it like a puny, evil man beneath the foot of a warrior who did her best to do the right thing. Rather than returning to his body, his consciousness dissipated, ceased to be rather than stream back toward his body. Whether Makhun died, or if his consciousness left his body behind like an empty shell without the pearl, he was gone. He would never hurt anyone again.


    Makhun¡¯s poison seeped out of the link, draining it of hatred, leaving behind a grateful love.


    Tuya shared her feelings with Batu, trying to make his pain small. My brother, she transmitted.


    My sister. Batu¡¯s love made Tuya¡¯s pain smaller. Together. He thought of them flying away, a queer amusement seeping through the link. I would be like one of the quick four-legs that carry the metal men.


    No, Tuya said, remembering stories Yaha told of the yangkun of the Heiyan savannahs or the horses of the Leverian plains. We will be like dragon and knight. Tuya projected images of a strong woman, with blue hair and blue eyes, riding upon the back of a beautiful winged creature covered in glistening silver scales, a flying behemoth larger than even a chimaera with a mouth full of ice. The dragon blew its ice at the tamers atop the Spire, descended upon Chimaera and tore it apart, the woman joining the fight with a weapon like Gurg¡¯s, easily severing the serpent head of Chimaera.


    Batu¡¯s amazement at the existence of such creatures and their bonds with two-legged hunters made him giddy. We will fight against the ones who take over?


    Yes, Tuya said, but first we must escape this place. We are strong but we must find friends.


    Batu¡¯s mind, smarter than that of nearly any other creature she ever knew, thought of the dragons and their knights, creating his own images of the destruction they would reap upon the Spire.


    Yes. Friends like them.


    ¡°Tuya?¡± Yaha whispered, brushing Tuya¡¯s shoulder.


    ¡°Yaha!¡± Tuya embraced her mother, unable to contain her joy, and the infectious spread of Batu¡¯s enthusiasm. She grinned up at Yaha, the woman¡¯s frown rising into a big, Yaha smile. ¡°Let¡¯s fly away.¡±


    We fly! Batu projected. Away from land of bad men and stupid trees! Wait until I show you my tree, sister! It is unbroken and bigger than any of the stupid ones here! Many strong warriors ride four-legs there! Two-legs that make great fires with their hands! Good friends?


    Great friends! Tuya projected, taking on Batu¡¯s eagerness with glee. She could not remember feeling this free. She laughed aloud, smiling up at Yaha, unable to restrain how much she liked Batu.


    ¡°An empagong with wings,¡± Yaha said, ¡°they will speak of this day forever, my little one.¡±


    ¡°Only because you will be around to tell stories of it,¡± Tuya said. She reached up to the howler hole, her arms not quite high enough to grab the edge, her body still not quite capable of making the jump.


    Yaha grabbed her, leapt, and landed them on the big branch beneath the hole. ¡°The empagongs have figured out how to fly, but they still are trying to discover the illusive secrets of jumping.¡±


    ¡°Ha ha ha,¡± Tuya said, giggling.


    Batu settled on the branch, turning his neck toward them. Tell your friend that I am sorry for attacking her and I forgive her for attacking me.


    ¡°Batu says he is sorry and that he forgives you.¡±


    Yaha beamed. She spoke slowly, gesturing to herself and to Batu, ¡°I am sorry and I forgive you, Batu.¡± She looked at Tuya. ¡°Is he sure he can carry us both?¡±


    Is this two-leg stupid? Batu asked.


    Tuya snorted out, choking on laughter. No, but we all have lapses. ¡°He says he can carry us both.¡±


    Yaha¡¯s eyebrows discovered the secrets of jumping. ¡°Is that so? Why are you laughing?¡±


    ¡°Brother Batu is very funny.¡± Batu¡¯s joy seeped through the link, creating a loop when Tuya¡¯s joy went back to him, and his grew larger and went back to her, and so on. Happiness felt good. After last night, and the dawn, Tuya thought she would never visit this place again. Now, she hoped to always be near, sharing joy with her brother.


    ¡°Funny like you?¡± Yaha asked, ¡°or actually funny?¡±


    Tuya stuck out her tongue. ¡°They are the same thing.¡± She balanced along the branch, placed her hand on Batu and hugged his side, pressing her head against his coarse brown feathers. I am so happy to be your sister. I have dreamt of this day for so long.


    You helped me fly away long ago. Sorry that I did not come for you sooner, sister. Batu¡¯s sadness trickled into the link, awakening the previously silent shadows of his self-hatred. If I had you all along, my mate and my little ones would still be here. Batu mourned them, even as he chastised himself for not doing everything he could to stop the ones who take control.


    You are here when I need you and you are exactly who I need, Batu. We will find the place where we belong. We will find friends. We will make sure they do not take control anymore.


    Tuya climbed up the side of him. He was far larger than her. His body spanning at least two body lengths from neck to rear and one body length from shoulder to shoulder. She realized now that holding on would not be simple. Yaha¡¯s stories never did talk about how the dragon knights of Volqor stayed on their dragons.


    You are having a lapse, sister. Just hold on.


    Tuya exhaled. Why did I not think of that?


    Lapse. Try not have too many.


    She giggled as Batu cawed with delight. How do the two-legs ride the four-legs without falling off?


    Poop perches.


    Tuya questioned the translation of his thought into words her mind could interpret. Poop perches?


    Indeed.


    Tuya opened her mouth, utterly confused, generating some unlikely, and unsavory, images of how the Leverians rode their horses. She had much more to learn about the faraway lands. She twisted to Yaha. ¡°You are not getting left behind, Yaha. Sorry to disappoint you.¡±


    Yaha snorted. ¡°Keep this up and I will jump just to avoid your sense of humor.¡± Yaha smirked, sidling up to the side of Batu. ¡°On the other hand, I stay if instead I get to see that happy smile.¡±


    Is she coming or not? Batu demanded, thrumming with annoyance.


    Tuya exaggerated her smile. Shaking her head, Yaha gingerly followed Tuya, wrapped her arms around her back, and buried her head in the back of Tuya¡¯s.


    ¡°Afraid?¡±


    ¡°Brave,¡± Yaha said, in her spearmaster voice.


    ¡°Brave,¡± Tuya agreed. ¡°We are ready, Batu. Fly away, so we can all be free.¡±


    Celegana¡¯s Spire loomed in the distance, stretching far above the sequoia. Thousands of tamer consciousnesses scoured the Hollows, their minds flowing from the Spire. Many more joined them from the ground. Birds squawked and roamed the skies below them. Blessedly, Tuya neither heard nor saw Chimaera. From this high, with lightseer eyes, the Endless Blue stretched out into eternity. Somewhere beyond it, Batu¡¯s home waited.


    Not that way, he thought. Images of her falling into the sea while he dived for fish, of her having no place to rest, of him losing his strength from the extra load, filling the holes in Tuya¡¯s understanding.


    You do not have many lapses, do you, Batu?


    That way, he transmitted, projecting satisfaction at her compliment.


    Tuya¡¯s eyes turned to the southwest, inland, just as Yaha planned. Her farseeing eyes found nothing but land and trees. They were a lovely sight from up here, if one did not know about the ugliness within those trees.


    There are places where we can rest and the trees are not broken forever.


    Then that is the way we go. Tuya sighed, leering at the Spire, hoping she would not see it by the end of this day, dreading that this end was too good to be true. After all, when had things ever worked out as planned? Yesterday was the most painful teacher. Today and tomorrow were held captive by the harsh lessons of yesterday and yesterday¡¯s lessons were among the harshest she ever learned.


    Enough fretting, Batu projected, grab on tight. ¡°Stop reminiscing, Tuya. It is time we leave this place behind and never look back,¡± Yaha added, not knowing Batu projected the same sentiment.


    ¡°Great,¡± Tuya said, smirking, ¡°now I have two of you nagging me.¡±


    Good, Batu thought. ¡°Good,¡± Yaha said.


    Tuya knew when she was beaten. She leaned forward, wrapping her hands around Batu¡¯s neck, making herself small on his back. Yaha did the same, clinging instead to Tuya¡¯s trunk. Tuya spread her legs, hoping to steady herself as best as she could. The anticipation worked itself toward anxiety and then edged toward panic.


    Batu did not give the anticipation enough time to fully complete its transformation. Great wings unfurled, fluttering and flapping into the air as his body lurched forward off the branch. Tuya felt the shift, her mind keenly aware that nothing was beneath her but a few hundred feet of empty air dispersed with trees that would not feel great to smash into on the way down. She yearned for something to tether her to Batu, to make her feel like she could not slip off and die with the next breeze, or any lapse of her strength.


    You will not put a poop perch on me, Batu transmitted. Just hold on.


    Tuya had more important things to worry about than poop perches. I do not think you understand!


    No, two-legs, you don¡¯t understand. The sky was mine. Now it is ours. Hold on. That is all.


    Thus, she held on, clinging to her dear brother¡¯s neck like her life depended on it because it rather did. She breathed as Zaya taught her, flying away, freeing herself, as she promised her first protector. She brought Sarnai with her, thinking of her as the vast sea of green, red, and brown passed beneath them and how beautiful Sarnai would have found it, as Batu flew faster than she could ever run. Tuya accepted that she was leaving Masarga behind, but not forever. The girl would grow and she would be ready and Tuya would return to her. She went on, flying to the place where she belonged, toward people to love and people who would love her, as Darrakh told her to do, even if he could no longer do it with her.


    Batu soared over threats, both of them invisible to the tamer sense, as the sun chased them across the sky and began bending down into the western horizon. Though hungry, though thirsty, though exhausted, they dared not drop down into the Hollows while the sun still shone. Batu perched a handful of times upon high trees and ate leaves, complaining that they did not taste so sweet as the flowers from his tree. Tuya and Yaha finished off the few strips of fish they preserved the night before, but would rather swallow the water those fish swam in. Her throat was so dry, the breeze so fierce, that she could not speak to Yaha. Not that words were needed. Yaha held her as they flew, her hope, her love, and yes, her worry flowing from her mind sense as loud as any shout.


    The skies became clearer, less inundated by tamer streams of consciousness the further they were from Celegana¡¯s Spire. Tuya wondered whether they were beyond the fifty miles Yaha wanted to travel. She assumed so, given that Batu covered far more distance through the air than they had yesterday, blending in and walking upon the ground where they had to weave through dense forest and take detours to avoid tamers. Even still, Batu was keen to remind her that this was not his full speed.


    Everything seemed to be going as planned, which of course made Tuya worry. She was flying away to the faraway lands, bonded to a brother that would carry her far and fast, held by Yaha who long ago accepted she would never escape the Hollows, and soon they would be able to land, to gather food and drink, and finally rest. So, naturally, she looked back at the Spire, expecting to find it looming over her. Instead, it was a distant blip in a faraway land. No doubt, neither Yaha nor Batu could see it if they tried. The beautiful monstrosity of earth and tree was behind them. Gurg would be at the apex, perhaps sitting upon Munderra by himself. She wondered where his mind was.


    Tuya wished she never had the answer to that question, wished it had never been asked, wished that the day would have turned to night and the three of them would have rested and recovered and began another day of flying away. Tuya of the Hollows wished she did not see what she saw, with eyes that saw all. A vast gray cloud, one that bore no rain, but intended to reign over all, rushed from Celegana¡¯s Spire, spreading across the horizon, washing over a sky free of malice moments ago.


    Tuya tried to direct Batu away from it. Yet, how did one avoid such all-encompassing might? Not even great eagles could outrun a stream of consciousness, let alone Gurgaldai ezen Celegan¡¯s. Lower, she called, hoping to mitigate, and possibly fly under the cloud, undetected. A hope, she knew, would be in vain.


    Batu could not outfly Gurg¡¯s mind, nor could Yaha, despite the incredible strength of her character, resist his power.

 Chapter Thirty-Five: Away

    Hands, already wrapped around Tuya¡¯s back, tender and loving moments ago, held her with violence and hatred. Hands that guided her for many seasons, helping her become herself, now restricted her freedom as they closed around her neck. Yaha¡¯s voice roared, deep and guttural, coming from the throat and lacking all the melody of her Mahagan accent, ¡°You cannot fly away from me, Chosen!¡±


    Tuya clung to Batu¡¯s neck feathers, trying to hang on as Gurg strangled her with Yaha¡¯s hands. The Ezen¡¯s mind unleashed shockwaves of hatred and anger and Tuya wanted to make herself small and hide from him. But there was nowhere to hide. Batu flew higher and higher above the treetops, ensuring naught but death should Tuya try to flee. Tuya gave everything to not let go, to not fly away into the sky, to not crash back toward Celegana¡¯s land and become just another dead girl who failed to survive the Hollows. She fought for her life.


    The air rushed into Tuya¡¯s face. She struggled to breathe, to focus, and her exhaustion, her lightheadedness made Gurg¡¯s grip seem insurmountable as his hatred hammered against her mind. He wanted to destroy everything she cared about, to throttle her to the brink of death every day, to never give her another chance to embarrass, to betray, to hurt him.


    The giant eagle frantically veered up and dove down, tilted left and right, as if he could evade the menace on his back like an arrow being shot at him. His mind was a turbulent whirlwind blowing chaotic thoughts at Tuya¡¯s already overwhelmed psyche. Batu¡¯s panic was indistinguishable from her own and threw dry tinder upon the flames of her nightmare. He was going to fly toward the stars, ascending until his passengers slipped and fell down into the evil place where the trees had holes. He was not going to let the evil men control him again. He was going to fly home and never look back, even if that meant letting go of his sister. He ascended, sharply, and Yaha¡¯s hands slipped off Tuya¡¯s throat and latched around her waist, clinging to her as Tuya gripped into Batu¡¯s feathery flesh, trying to hang on as he flew into the firmament.


    Batu, no! Tuya thought. She did not spend seasons learning how to fight, learning how to survive, enduring all the suffering, pushing through sorrow of losing over and over again, to die here, especially thrown through the sky by her bird brother. Her eyes glowed silver and light burst around her body as she searched for hope that would keep her and Batu from letting go. The images swam through the link, lighting the way ahead. Batu would fly steady over the treetops, giving her a chance to fight for their lives. She would win her freedom, throwing Yaha down into the Hollows, she would land safely, using her windjumping, then Tuya would drive Gurg¡¯s consciousness back to Celegana¡¯s Spire. They would all fly away and find the place they belonged. Together.


    Tuya¡¯s fingers burned, clinging to the great eagle, carrying Yaha¡¯s weight on her back. She cried out, mustering strength, refusing to let go of her dream, sending it to Batu just as fiercely as she clung to his feathers.


    Batu¡¯s guilt flowed through their link, communicating regret over his panicked reaction. The giant eagle steadied his flight, hundreds of body lengths over the treetops. His thoughts were a dark place, born from dreadful days, not unlike Tuya¡¯s, full of the dead memories of loved ones they failed to save. Alas, the tiny twinkle of hope gleamed bright enough for them both to persist into the darkness and hold on. If only for a little bit longer.


    Find a meadow! she pleaded.


    Batu thrummed with understanding. Throw her off!


    Yaha¡¯s hands grasped at the spear fastened by a vine to Tuya¡¯s back, she gripped to Tuya¡¯s hair, pulling her head back in sharp agony. Tuya killed the voice inside her that refused to hit her mother, her protector. She knew what Yaha would have her do now, knew why the woman spent the last season driving this lesson into her. Tuya refused to let her down now, even if it meant she might kill her.


    Tuya¡¯s elbow smashed into Yaha¡¯s face. Blood spurted on her back and flew red through the air behind them, splattering over Yaha as it rushed from her twice-broken nose. Yaha reeled, releasing Tuya, one hand covering the bleeding.


    Tuya suppressed her misery as her eyes stung from more than the fierce winds in the skies above the Hollows. She gripped tight to Batu¡¯s neck and shared an unwanted, but necessary, mental image with him. Now, Batu!


    Batu twisted to the right, his body going sideways in flight. Tuya clung to his feathers, both hands tossed over his neck, grasping for her life as her entire body dangled over the treetops. Yaha lurched forward, blood streaming, and latched onto Tuya¡¯s leg. She swung her leg, trying to hurl Gurg off. Gurg screamed as Yaha¡¯s feet grazed against the leaves and branches at the top of the trees, but he did not let go. Tuya gritted her teeth, trying to hang on, hoping that Gurg would slip, feeling her grip weaken as it felt like fire burned in her fingers. Her mind knew the score, knew where this was headed, and Batu was not stupid, even if he had lapses like the rest of them.


    Batu steadied his flight and Tuya collapsed atop him, her aching body refusing to follow her commands as it felt like every muscle in her body was dead and her bones hollow.


    Yaha¡¯s fist crashed into Tuya¡¯s back, the pain shooting throughout her whole body as Gurg bellowed his fury. The bigger woman fell atop Tuya, her weight snaring her to the back of the bird, giving her little room to wriggle beneath her. The hands that made her latched around Tuya¡¯s throat again, throttling her and slamming her head into Batu¡¯s muscular back. Tuya gasped, breathing in as much of the tumultuous air as she could. Wave after wave of hatred slammed into her mental walls, trying to force their way through her link with Batu.


    It was hopeless, as it always seemed to be when fate turned upon her and spat in her face. She tried anyway. What else could she do? She was not the little girl staring down at the cliffs and contemplating leaping. Yaha saw to that and now, even if it was Yaha¡¯s body doing the destruction, she would not give up.


    Tuya squirmed, waiting for any opening she could find. Gurg anticipated her every move, guided by the knowledge of the one who trained her to fight. He shifted Yaha¡¯s weight and oppressed each attempt at rebellion, each time slamming her head against Batu¡¯s back and calling her a stupid khorota.


    You have no hope of escaping me! Gurg projected, ripping out a handful of her hair as he throttled Tuya again. You never did! You never will! He slammed her head against Batu¡¯s back. YOU! Slam. ARE! Slam. MINE!


    Never had her silver eyes struggles so much to see clarity as her vision blurred. Tuya tried to rise, to push Yaha off her back. Her forearms quaked, strained, and burnt from exertion. Her hips rose, lifting off Batu¡¯s back, pushing, pushing, pushing for some separation. Her feet dug into the bird, her legs tangled in Yaha¡¯s as Gurg pinned them down, refusing their movement as Yaha¡¯s pelvis thrust into her rear, driving her hips back to the bird.


    This will not work! Batu pulsed, horrified, convinced that the taller two-legs would soon kill Tuya and then kill him with her little pointed tree.


    Tuya thought of the spear strung around her shoulder, about the woman that taught her to use it, and about the man that she worked so hard to use it on. Very well, she thought, her head colliding again with the feathered muscle of Batu¡¯s back. Fly higher, Batu.


    Batu obliged, shooting skyward, up, up, and above the Hollows, sorrow permeating his heart as he foresaw the end, as he remembered being alone, being responsible for the death of the ones he loved, and having nobody to protect him from the evil two-legs that took his body from him. Feelings and memories that Tuya knew well, thinking of all she lost, and of what she would probably lose even if this last hope held true.


    I will not leave you, Tuya thought to Batu before letting go, breaking her link with him, and flinging herself through the sky.


    Gurg gripped onto her and their bodies fell through the air, hundreds of body lengths over a meadow.


    CHOSEN! The fear in Gurg¡¯s thoughts gave her a thrill, a sudden jolt of life, even as her body plummeted many, many body lengths down through the open air above the Hollows. He was certain that, at last, she had escaped her, that he lost, and that his destiny was doomed without her. Tuya felt satisfaction in that, even though hurting him was not why she let go. She sent her mind to Yaha and Gurg, melding into their intertwined consciousnesses.


    Yaha!


    So many emotions could be charged into a single word, in the inflections of a name. Love for the woman who did not give birth to you but raised you. Fear that she was gone and would not hear Tuya in what could be their final moments. Hope that she would hear, that she would come through and save you once again.


    tuya. Faint though her mental pulse was, Yaha was there, buried within Gurg¡¯s dominion, a tiny drop of love swimming in an ocean of hate.


    Yaha! Tuya slammed into Gurg¡¯s mind, Give. Her. Back!


    The Ezen was a shadow of himself, a tiny child, petulantly whining to himself about the injustice of this end, hating himself for his failure nearly as much as he hated her. Yaha grew stronger as his grip slipped, as he embraced defeat. She was a rising tide in the ocean sweeping toward the shore.


    Tuya.


    The ground approached, faster and faster, certain to return them Celegana¡¯s earth, to the dirt and the roots beneath the ground.


    Yaha! Seasons of apologies for every time they fought, seasons of gratitude of all the times she felt cared for, seasons of hope for helping her dream of flying away.


    TUYA!


    The wave slammed into the shore, breaking free of the ocean, blending with the sands, and taking control of its own fate.


    Yaha! Dreams of flying away from the Hollows, of going to the Mahogany Isles and seeing the rains of Dalazuli, of flying around Covademara and witnessing the beauty of every flower upon the great tree atop the hill, of touching the sands in Isihla and seeing the place where Norali¡¯s children roamed. Hope burning bright as Gurgaldai receded.


    The wind rushed up to meet them, slowing their fall like two feathers embracing. They landed amongst the flowers and the grass, within a circle of trees from some faraway region of the Hollows beyond the eyes of Celegana¡¯s Spire.


    The pleasant perfumes of the meadow, the vibrant colors of hundreds of different flowers in bloom, the sunset rimming the horizon and casting soft, dull light on the entire scene, the precious smile on Yaha¡¯s face, the sound of her saying, ¡°My little empagong,¡± with her melodic voice, as her dark eyes filled with tears was beauty fit for a reunion in one of those stories the woman told of faraway lands in long ago times. Tuya hoped that this was the beautiful beginning of the rest of her life and that, as Batu landed in the meadow, they would fly away and leave behind the ugliness of Tuya¡¯s childhood.


    Alas, the ugliness was still here, clinging to Tuya like evil roots leaving her planted in this hell. Batu squawked, urgently. Faces appeared along the edge of the meadow, tamers with their stupid tamer clubs. Tuya drew her spear from her shoulder and leveled it at the tamers. She spun around, counting the dirty, bruised faces of men leering through the trees. Fourteen. She opened her mouth to speak, to tell Yaha it was time to go, but the resurgence of hatred, of desire, of domination in the space where three consciousnesses met slammed her jaw shut.


    Tuya turned, taking several backsteps away from her mother, and stepped into empagong stance.


    Yaha sneered down at her and even though she was leaner than she was the day she arrived in the Hollows, Yaha was still more muscular than Tuya. Their battle atop Batu fresh in her mind, the memories of old sparring matches in the dark place resurfacing, not wanting to hurt this woman who called her ¡°little empagong,¡± who loved her, she struggled to believe in herself. Yaha¡¯s dark eyes were gone, replaced with the beautiful blue seers of the man who held the reins. ¡°Where are you going, little empagong?¡±


    Yaha¡¯s voice, Yaha¡¯s language, but not Yaha. Tuya trembled, her grip on the spear weak. Batu squawked but Tuya could not hear him over Gurg roaring through Yaha¡¯s mouth, ¡°This is my Chosen. Bind her!¡±


    Gurg blasted psionic energy at Tuya¡¯s consciousness, tearing her psyche to shreds as she clung to her mother¡¯s freedom. Yaha¡¯s consciousness grew smaller and smaller, reverting back to the small drop in the ocean of hate. Tuya tried to keep hold of her, to will her with the strength to fight against this insurmountable monster within her mind. They were both so tired, so worn down by running, by two full days without rest, by all of it. Still, Tuya fought. What else could she do? She could not leave her mother behind without trying everything she could. Yaha! Be yourself! Be free!


    All else was lost in this beautiful meadow as every sense was devoted to staying in this link, trying to give Yaha strength and break away from Gurgaldai ezen Celegan. She felt herself slipping, being driven to her knees, blood coming from every orifice, her fingers struggling to hold to her spear, every part of her twitching and jerking as she was throttled mentally.


    behind you, tuya!


    Tuya fled the link, surrendering Yaha in order to save herself. She twisted, caught the encroaching tamer in the chest with her spear, then thrusted once, twice, thrice, with quick jabs that spilled him and his blood upon the flowers. The next group tamers tried to surround her from each angle. Tuya shifted into water form and flowed away from them, leaking through their trap, finding her footing, and shifting into lion form. She lashed out with quick, precise thrusts, hitting an eye there, leaving a heart wound here, plunging the sharpened tip into a leg and then slashing across the throat as the tamer dropped to his knee squealing in pain. Their faces swam past her consciousness as she shifted from stance to stance executing perfect maneuvers as she was taught. Tuya did not register the faces of the men she killed, spared no thoughts for who they were or where they began. She knew them not, only that they stood between her and freedom, that they were obstacles between her and saving Yaha. Eventually, they stopped coming at her, their bodies littered onto the flowers and coloring the grass with red, their final traces of consciousness veering into the Hollows, seeking a second life. When the last one fell to the flowers, her awareness broadened beyond the immediate danger to herself.


    This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.


    Batu cawed madly, defending himself from a pair of tamers with clubs while another tamer tried to seize his mind. Tuya dashed toward him and sent her consciousness ahead of her. The tamer trying to seize Batu staggered to his knees as she hit him with a wave of repulsion that ejected him from Batu¡¯s mind. Unbound, Batu tore out a tamer¡¯s throat with a talon, took to the wing, and crashed down on the other tamer, crushing him between his talon and the ground. Tuya executed wind form, leaping and driving her spear into the chest of the staggered tamer. She ripped the spear free and slashed it across his neck before driving it into his heart and twisting until the tamer¡¯s consciousness seeped out of him.


    Many eyes watched from the edge of the meadow, crouched low to the ground, making themselves small, watching this display unlike any other they ever saw, but Tuya only cared about one set of seers now. Blue, they were, and wrong. So very wrong.


    Yaha stood in the center of the meadow, her spear in her hands. Gurg¡¯s eyes glared out of her dark, bloody, bruised, tired, frowning face.


    Batu squawked and Tuya sent her mind to him. She found him open as any mind ever was to her. He wasted no time sharing his thoughts. Your mother is gone. The evil has claimed her. If we do not go, it will claim us too!


    Tuya clenched her spear, knowing Yaha would want her to take this opportunity, to leave her and fly away. She knew that Yaha, infused with Gurg¡¯s physical might, was beyond her skill with the spear, and physically there was no chance of overpowering her. Norali¡¯s light! She saw that clear as she saw Yaha standing in front of her wearing Gurg¡¯s eyes. She knew! Alas, knowing was not the same as feeling.


    No. I will drive Gurg to his knees and tell him who sent me, then I will take her with me. He and his people have taken everyone from me. Everyone! Tuya stepped toward Yaha, the dark woman¡¯s lips rising. He will not take her too. Not until I have done everything I can.


    Says your heart, but your mind does not believe, sister. There is no shame in surviving today. Your mother, my partner, your friends, my young, they will all be avenged. But not today. Batu projected love, that same sentiment she felt long ago, a little child without a word for the way he felt toward her. If we leave now, we will still have each other.


    Love means everything to me, Batu, including yours. If your mate were alive, if there was even a glimmer of hope, one single ray in a world of darkness, that you could save her, would you fly away?


    No, Batu admitted, his hardness melting. No. I would fly toward her as fast as I can and never once look back.


    She took another step toward Yaha. Even if it meant you might die.


    Life without love is death.


    Then you understand what I must do.


    Sorrow seeped into the link, but with it, acceptance. Batu receded, gently setting her consciousness out of his mind. I do.


    Gurg beamed at Tuya as she closed the distance between them, spear in hand. ¡°She is so disappointed in you, little Tuya.¡± Gurg imitated Yaha¡¯s voice, somehow making it even more stubborn. ¡°I am not the one that must go on! Tuya of the Hollows! We! Cannot! Defeat! A Chimaera! Promise me, Tuya! Promise me that if a chimaera closes in, you will leave me behind! Promise me that you will go on after I am gone!¡±


    ¡°I cannot make that promise,¡± Tuya whispered, the wind carrying her words, hopefully to wherever Yaha lurked inside of her own mind.


    ¡°Of course not,¡± Gurg said, in his own voice. ¡°Your dark one is a fool, Chosen.¡± Yaha¡¯s face smiled. ¡°You will never be able to go on.¡± He pointed to Batu with Yaha¡¯s spear. ¡°Fly away and find that there is no place where you belong in the faraway lands. All you will find is broken lands and broken people, except they try to deny it, try to pretend to be better than they are. You will soon see the lies of the childish dreams you believe in. You will not sleep, knowing that I am always watching, always listening, and that, sooner rather than later, I will find you.¡± He opened Yaha¡¯s arms. ¡°Fly away, Chosen! Play pretend with the pretenders! See for yourself where it leads you!¡± He snarled, stepping toward her, and Tuya shifted into empagong stance on instinct. ¡°Back to the place where you belong! Tuya of the Hollows!¡±


    Yaha¡¯s body circled, wielding the spear like a spearmaster, holding lion stance, ready to pounce. Tuya kept empagong stance, crouched, weight on the backs of her feet, arms ready to defend herself from any onslaught.


    ¡°Fly away,¡± Gurg taunted, sneering. ¡°I will always be with you, haunting your every thought. My eyes and ears will be everywhere, always watching, always hearing. Not a day will go by where you do not look over your shoulder, expecting to see me.¡±


    Tuya shook her head. ¡°Do you ever stop and think there is a reason why nobody loves you? Why the most powerful, most beautiful, man in the world is the least loved, the most alone, the one who can trust nobody, the one everyone will always betray? No, Gurg, you will not be with me. You will not haunt me. Each day you will rise, blind and deaf to me, wanting my power, my womb, my love. Instead, you will be waiting, wondering, fearing if this will be the day that I come for you, the day I destroy everything you have ever fought for. I will be the one haunting you, you ignorant, cruel, broken, unlovable, piece of shit.¡±


    Perhaps it was unwise to taunt the most powerful man in the world, to call him out for the narcissistic piece of shit that he truly was, especially when he wielded the body of the person who trained you to fight, a person you would not give up on, no matter how hopeless it was to fight. Alas, Tuya forgot how to stand down and make herself small, thanks to Yaha, and she never did learn to stop hoping, despite it all, thanks to herself.


    Yaha¡¯s body pounced forth, Gurg screaming, the hate flowing off his consciousness a massive dark cloud raining balls of fire upon her mind. Tuya held empagong form, shelling herself from hatred and deflecting each of Yaha¡¯s lion strikes. Yaha was quick, but Tuya was quicker. Yaha knew what Tuya would do, but Tuya knew even more what Yaha would do, her lightseer eyes seeing what would be before it became what was. Her body knew the movements like it knew how to breathe. One, two, three, four, fifty. Gurg came for her, but he found no holes in her shell.


    He launched into the air, seeking the one advantage Tuya could never have, and plunged down, recklessly going for killing blows, his anger, his hatred, too intense to restrain as she thwarted him again and again, as none ever had before. Wind form was outclassed by water. Tuya flowed, stepping aside of the devastating plunging attacks. She backstepped and circled, her feet as graceful as the Endless Blue. He tried and he tried, Tuya shifting from empagong to water, never striking back, wearing him down, breaking his control over his emotions, weakening his grip over himself, and, by extension, Yaha. Tuya only struck out with her mind, repeating the same five words each time Gurg failed to hit her. Be yourself, Yaha. Be free.


    The psionic bombardment of hate did not diminish, but it was no longer alone. Through the depths of Gurgaldai ezen Celegan¡¯s consciousness, Tuya felt her there. Yaha¡¯s spirit soared with pride, knowing that she created this spear, and that this spear would drive the tyrant to his knees.


    Gurg brandished the spear and dashed forth again. Light burst from Tuya¡¯s eyes and flashed Gurg¡¯s blue eyes with the radiance of the stars. She anticipated just how he would shield himself from the light, and, like a flash of light, moved in, striking Yaha¡¯s gut with the shaft of the spear, then slamming it upward into the bottom of her jaw. Yaha staggered, blindly. Tuya swung, catching Yaha¡¯s fingers. The spear fell to the grass and Tuya charged, pushing Gurg back with another thrust with the blunt end of the spear and then swept Yaha¡¯s legs, spilling her into a bed of blue flowers.


    She retrieved Yaha¡¯s spear, wielding them both, and shouted, ¡°Batu!¡± She projected her mind to his, hoping that he would agree, that he would understand, that he would do what he could to keep her from leaving behind any more loved ones.


    The great eagle, circling the clearing, descended, his talons pinned the unarmed Yaha to the ground before she could rise again. Not even Gurg, limited by Yaha¡¯s depleted body, could overpower a creature vastly stronger than her, restrained as he was.


    Bring her home, Batu projected.


    Tuya reached for Yaha, piercing through Gurg¡¯s mind with her own, flashing like a spear that went all the way through the front and out the back. Be yourself, Yaha. Be free!


    Yaha seized the mental hand Tuya extended and clutched to her mind as they weathered the immense waves of hatred and wrath that inundated them. Tuya held her mind against the storm and pushed back with the assertion that she would not be intimidated by him anymore. She would not be caught! She would not be leaving without Yaha! She would not return to the Spire until the day she killed him! She was done! Done being wrapped in his vines and told to run as far as she could, only so he could pull her back and tell her how helpless she was! He might have been an ocean but she was the sky and all the lights that shone in it. She would not be touched, whatever clouds he might conjure, she would send the bad water back down and keep shining the light on the truth. His way was wrong. He was wrong.


    Gurg¡¯s hold over Yaha slipped, her eyes shifting from blue to dark. Her body twitched as the mind knew not who commanded the body. Batu kept Yaha¡¯s body safe beneath his talon as she went rigid.


    Desperate, Gurg tried to intimidate her, to remind her of how powerless she had been, of the things she had done to get here, the people she lost. Darrakh¡¯s blood on the tip of her spear, a beach full of dead farawaylanders, a little girl that lurked in her tiny hollow waiting to die, thinking of the cliffs everyday until it was him who stopped her from leaping.


    Tuya smashed through his lies, done with those who tried to make her hate herself. Yaha¡¯s pride enveloped her, like the warmest furs, like a mother¡¯s embrace, as it had since the day they met, dispelling the lies that cruel men taught a little girl who was exactly like every other. She battered against Gurg¡¯s mind, crashing into his consciousness, repelling him as she strengthened Yaha¡¯s control over her mind.


    Still, Gurg refused to let go, and Tuya could not force him out, even if she could keep him from dominating Yaha. Their power shifted, Gurg pushing her down and Tuya reclaiming herself the next. This was not a grand battle where blademasters dueled among fields of flowers or cognitive-affectomancers clashed with fire and lightning on a mountaintop. No great tapestries would be woven demonstrating the way their minds forced through their opponent¡¯s life stories and pulled at insecurities. No songs would convey the mental movement that occurred between the two greatest masters of their craft. Their war was invisible but the equivalent of two perfect storms colliding. No fancy, flowery words could capture how their powers were antithesis and equal. Neither of them would win this battle. One of them would lose it, would give in first.


    You will give in, Gurg projected. You are not my equal, khorota!


    No, Tuya realized. Our power may be equal, but we are not. When life has given me impossible choices, I have always done my best to make pain smaller. When you have been given choices, you have always chosen to make pain greater. That is why you will never be my equal, Gurgaldai. That is why I will never love you. That is why I will never choose you. It is not because of who I am or some innate unlovability within you. It is because who you have chosen to be! You could have made the same choices I made, you could have used your unfathomable power to make pain smaller, and I would have loved you. How I would have loved you if only you chose to love others instead of hate! That, Gurgaldai, is why the most powerful, most beautiful, man in the world is the least loved, the most alone, the one who can trust nobody, the one everyone will always betray. That is why I will not give in first.


    She felt him, back on Munderra, overlooking the Hollows like a god. A sad, lonely god worshipped only out of fear. Gurg shook, every way that a man could shake. Blood fell from his eyes and ears, from his nose and mouth, as the chimaeras and tamers atop the Spire watched their master fill with fear. His hold over Yaha withered, her mind becoming clearer within the space they shared.


    To his knees, Tuya.


    Go away, tamer! Be gone! Tuya pushed with all her mind, Yaha¡¯s mental force joining with hers, growing in strength.


    Gurg dug in, his mind being torn to shreds, his psyche beginning to fracture under the pressure of not one strong woman who refused to break, but two.


    Gurg fell to his knees and pleaded, I do what I must. The pretenders push each other down, striving to be at the top and in control. They do it in the name of their false gods, in the name of their ancestors, in the name of might, in the name of little jewels or shiny metals, some even in the name of this love you so cherish. Everywhere everyone hurts. The only answer is to make us one again, to restore the Wholeness. To do that, I must wield absolute power here because nobody else will do what must be done. One more chance, Chosen. You have proven your might, but you will not be able to escape me. I can still forgive your foolishness. Join me and I will spare the dark one, I will let the bird fly away, I will allow you to live with me and I will give you whatever you want as long as you do what we must. If not, you cannot defeat a chimaera. Do not make me hurt you.


    Tuya was done listening to his manipulations. All his words, every last one he ever uttered or transmitted, were designed to control her. There was nothing wrong with what he did, it was not that bad compared to what happened in other places, it was not his fault that it happened, if it was, it was not his intention to hurt others, but if it was, you bet it was their fault.


    I am not yours, Gurg. I am mine.


    His anger burned in the link but could not breach Tuya¡¯s shell. Let him burn, she would not be afraid of the flames anymore. She was the good water that would wash him away, cleanse the world of the filth and rot planted atop Celegana¡¯s Spire.


    Take your dead weight back, Gurg projected. You will see me soon. Chosen.


    Gurg¡¯s consciousness fled Yaha, retracting from whence it came before Tuya could eject him.


    Tuya patted Batu¡¯s flank. The evil two-leg is gone, my brother. We won.


    Batu cawed, triumphant in the meadow. He beat his wings, blasting Tuya with a cool breeze in the night while dozens of eyes watched from the edge of the meadow. Yet, only one set of seers interested Tuya. Dark as they had ever been, and the most welcome sight in the world. Tuya offered her hand to Yaha and helped the wonderful woman back to her feet.


    Strong arms enveloped her, as they had many times, but this time they felt the best of all. ¡°I am so proud of you, Tuya. So proud.¡±


    Tuya nestled her head in Yaha¡¯s side. ¡°I am sorry that I could not make that promise.¡±


    ¡°You are not sorry, my little empagong.¡±


    ¡°I am not.¡±


    Batu squawked, sounding urgent. His anxiety emanated from him, spreading to Tuya, but even more to Yaha. His wingbeat sent gusts of wind at them. He cawed, refusing to be ignored.


    ¡°Come on, Yaha. We will have seasons to pester you about the dangers of doubting Tuya.¡± Tuya returned Yaha¡¯s spear to her, strapped her spear to her back and shoulder, and climbed upon Batu¡¯s back, ready to finally fly away. She grinned. ¡°Let us fly away before Gurg even knows we are gone.¡±


    ¡°You are ¡­ you.¡± Yaha frowned, her mind thrumming with worry. She leapt onto Batu¡¯s back, but the great eagle¡¯s squawking did not relent. You should go to him, Tuya. I would not ignore the one who can fly up into the sky on us and send us crashing back to earth.


    Wise words, Tuya offered, following Yaha¡¯s advice as Batu started lifting off, leaving the meadow below.


    Up in the air, overlooking the Hollows, Tuya did not need to share a mind to sense what Batu wanted to tell her.


    No more did she smile. In the not too far distance, trees were leveled, crushed like twigs upon the forest floor, or brushed aside like they were branches. The sound of timbers and the thunderous cracks of snapping wood followed not long after her eyes saw the source. Three enormous heads and a black-haired body. A roar cut through the air, lightning crackled in a cloudless sky on a night where every star shone from above, and even the big blue moon glistened like the eye of a monster watching over her.

 Chapter Thirty-Six: No Promises [final chapter]

    Batu did his best. Encumbered with two bodies upon his back, he flew as fast as he could, trying to stay as high as possible. Below, Chimaera crashed through the Hollows, moving faster than Batu could glide. Tuya¡¯s silver eyes watched for the coming storm. Moments before the flash, she guided Batu¡¯s movement, and he veered out of the way. Forked lightning blasted through the sky, missing his wing, and shooting toward the stars.


    She shifted her head to the east. From this high, she could see the vast space between them and the ocean. It would take half the night to reach it, flying without rest. But, if they could make it, the Chimaera could not follow over the Endless Blue. She hoped. Until, then they just needed to dodge every lightning blast from the ram head, or hope Gurg relented. Tuya heard the crackling, shifted her focus, and anticipated. Batu slowed down and dove, letting the streak of hot white soar over his back.


    It is too far, Batu projected, his eyes not even able to see the distant water.


    Batu¡¯s exhaustion blended with her own. He tried his best, but the giant eagle did not believe he could make it much further like this, let alone to a place he could not see.


    One lapse and one of those lightning blasts would send them crashing down into the Hollows. Yaha would guide their descent, but Batu would not survive the free fall into the trees below. Then, it would be the two of them, armed with just their spears, against Chimaera. If a giant eagle could not flee a pursuing Chimaera, an exhausted, dehydrated girl could not hope to flee, especially if the Hollows was awake with tamers and their tamed beasts hunting.


    Tuya thought of having Batu fly low, try to lose Chimaera in the forest and perch atop a tree with good cover. Alas, Gurg would be able to sense Yaha as long as she remained unlinked from Tuya. She refused to voice the thought, the foul contemplation coming from the part of her mind that cared only for survival, one honed by Yaha herself.


    It might be the only way, Batu thought. Without her, I can go faster, or we could try to elude the monster in the trees.


    No.


    Tuya caught the crackling of the ram¡¯s horns. Her eyes anticipated the path of the forked lightning and Batu managed to narrowly evade another deadly blast. This time they felt the heat of the lightning in the air as it passed. Another reminder of the inevitability.


    Sister.


    ¡°This is doomed,¡± Yaha said, yelling over the sound of air rushing in their faces. ¡°He will be struck eventually.¡±


    ¡°Then we jump,¡± Tuya said, the words rushing out of her as she refused to lose either of them, ¡°I break my link with Batu and he flies to safety, ignored by Chimaera. Me and you link again, Yaha, and we hide. We move by night, avoiding Chimaera. We can all still get away.¡±


    Batu¡¯s doubt fueled her own. She did not want to go back to the plan that led to the horrible night. They were still in the Hollows, no matter if Celegana¡¯s Spire was behind them. She remembered the hopeless feelings of that night, except, even then, they were better off, better rested, less exhausted, and, most importantly¡­


    ¡°Tuya,¡± Yaha said, embracing her from behind, ¡°Gurgaldai will see us fall. He will be there before we touch the ground. You know how this must end.¡±


    I am sorry, Batu projected. I wish I could do more.


    Another flash of lightning and yet another narrow escape, the heat kissing them, the light blinding those without silver eyes, jolting them all with panic and dread.


    Tuya stroked Batu¡¯s neck feathers, infusing her touch with Celegana¡¯s strength, willing him to be himself. You are doing your best. That is all I can ever ask of you, brother.


    Batu pulsed with sorrowful appreciation, sending his love through the link, understanding the pain Tuya felt, wishing he could make things different, but knowing that he could not.


    There was no making this pain smaller. Sometimes, pain had to be felt, and love could not take it away, because it was love that caused it. Tuya sobbed, struggling to keep her eyes on Chimaera as they filled with tears, as her body shook. ¡°I cannot lose you, Yaha.¡±


    Yaha sniffled, clung tighter to Tuya¡¯s back. ¡°If you have shown me anything today, it is that you can never lose me. The lessons I taught you, they have become yours. Everywhere you go, my child, you take me with you.¡±


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    Tuya sobbed, unable to fight Yaha¡¯s words this time, as she always had before. She wept, wishing she did not have to watch for more lightning. Wishing did not make a thing true. How she wished it could. ¡°I promise, Yaha. I promise! I will drive him to his knees and tell him you sent me.¡±


    Yaha kissed Tuya¡¯s cheek and ran her hand through her hair, trying not to untangle the knots. Tuya knew that no matter where her blood came from, no matter what the woman who gave her life would have thought of this child born of her rapist, and likely, her killer, that she now felt the embrace of her mother, and her love knew no bounds and demanded no conditions. This was what she spent her life chasing, and now, she was going to lose it. Celegana! It hurts! It hurts so much!


    Yaha¡¯s tears fell on Tuya¡¯s shoulder. ¡°I will not leave you bound to my last request. You are free to be yourself. Free to choose who you want to be and how you spend your life. I trust nobody more than you to decide what is best for you. No promises, my little empagong.¡±


    ¡°Yaha¡­¡± Tuya¡¯s voice broke and lightning crackled. She focused on it, through the sorrow and the love, helping Batu avoid yet another blast, this time dipping down sharply and letting it pass over them.


    She exhaled, tried to gather her thoughts, tried to find words worthy of the love and the gratitude she felt. ¡°Thank you for everything. Thank you for being who you are, for never giving up on me. I can never tell you how much you mean to me and be satisfied with the words.¡±


    ¡°You do not have to,¡± Yaha said, pressing her forehead into Tuya¡¯s neck. ¡°Without you, I would have given up that day on the beach and met the Fourteen in shame. The end of my tale would have been the dirge of the Sixty-Four and the failure of a foolish captain who led them to their deaths, or worse. Instead, I will meet the Fourteen knowing that I have done more good in this world than I could have ever dreamed. You were my light and because of you I found myself in the darkness. You do not need words to tell me how much I mean to you, my little empagong. I know already how much I mean to you,¡± Yaha paused, trying to dam the flow of sobs, to gather the strength to say what she felt, ¡°for I feel the same about you.¡±


    Yaha¡¯s necklace fell against Tuya¡¯s chest, Olono¡¯s pearl finding its place beside Tuya¡¯s rapidly beating, loving heart. ¡°You carry my love with you, Tuya. Wherever you go, you will be a ray of light, making the world around you brighter. I hope, no, I know, you will find the place where you belong, and wherever you go, I will be proud of you.¡±


    Yaha let go of her, seized her spear and crouched atop Batu, finding her balance as she prepared for the final leap.


    ¡°I love you.¡±


    ¡°I love you too, my little empagong.¡± Her dark eyes found Tuya¡¯s one last time, full of tears. ¡°Until next time.¡±


    ¡°Until next time,¡± Tuya mouthed, her throat raw.


    Tuya broke her link with Batu, sending herself to Yaha, all of her love, all of her hope, all of her pain. In return, Yaha gave her all of her determination, all of her love, all of her hope, and, not least of all, her wholeness. Yaha¡¯s eyes glowed silver, seeing far and true, light enveloping her form. With one last nod, Captain Yaha of Caleel, lover of Olono, mother of a girl unlike any other and exactly like every other, leapt into the night, falling like a spear from the stars.


    Below, Chimaera crashed through trees, destroying arbors that had existed since Celegana departed the world. The ram head crackled, glowing white. Above it, descending from sky was a glowing ray of light, wielded by a mother, a hero who never gave up on the little girl she promised to teach. She was a falling star, carrying the hopes and dreams of every soul in this world who yearned for freedom and love, guided by a girl unlike any other. Lightning sparked from Chimaera¡¯s horns, but it was met by a force far, far more powerful.


    ¡°YOU. WILL. NOT. HAVE. HER!¡± Yaha roared, Zafrir¡¯s wind carrying her through the air one last time.


    The silver light of stars collided with the white blast of lightning. Shockwaves of light and energy exploded, radiating in every direction, leveling hundreds of trees, sundering regions of the Hollows and throwing energy into the sky. Batu fought to keep steady as a tornado of light whirled around them. Then, as quick as it came, the light was gone, and Tuya of the Hollows let out a wail as Yaha¡¯s consciousness faded from this world, but not before she proved herself wrong. She had been enough, as she always had been. Beneath the sky, in a land where the trees all had holes, a chimaera lay smote among the wreckage of a thousand hollow trees.


    Tuya mourned, but, as Yaha taught her, she must go on. Her mind linked again with Batu. Thus, when the Great Ezen of the Celegan Hollows came with his consciousness, swirling through the skies above as an ugly gray mist, he could find no trace of the woman he coveted, nor her brother. Batu shifted directions, his wings carrying them far away from the ruin of Chimaera and the beloved woman who killed him.


    *************


    Flying away, in a world unlike any other and exactly like every other, there was a woman exactly like every other and unlike any other. Like every other, she knew what it meant to live, to die, to enjoy, to suffer, to love, to hate, to dream, and to dread. Unlike any other, she chose to find light from darkness, harmony from discord, and freedom from oppression.


    Like every other, she did her best in an unfair world. Unlike any other, she did her best to use her power to change the lives of the helpless.


    Like every other, seasons had passed, and she had grown older. If anyone cared, which some did, they would know that this chapter of her story ended during her sixteenth year. If anyone cared, which everyone would, they knew it was far from over.


    Like every other, she had no control over how her story began. Unlike any other, she would control how this world¡¯s story ended.


    This woman, unlike any other and exactly like every other, flew away to the faraway lands, seeking the place where she belonged.


    Her name was Tuya of the Hollows.