《Joker's Potpourri》 Index
Title Tags Description Word Count
The one below Rebrow Action, Fantasy, Magic, Male Lead, Strong Lead Story about the second strongest mage going to a dungeon to become the strongest. 1482
Looking for the skeletons Weird, Female lead A little girl and her friends are looking for skeletons. 681
Find this and other great novels on the author''s preferred platform. Support original creators! I will edit as I add more chapters. The one below Rebrow Statues of a tall man filled the city. ''Rebrow, the strongest mage in the world'' was inscribed below them. "Look, mom." A little girl pointed to a green-robed man. His mantle had a gold brooch holding it. "A gold mage!" "Oh, but he isn''t Rebrow, just a common mage. Rebrow has a platinum one. Don''t pay him any attention." They kept walking. "After years of conquering thousands of S and SS dungeons, this is all I get?" "Don''t worry, master." A teenage girl with a bronze brooch hugged him. "In my eyes you are the number one!" The mage smiled and patted the girl''s head. They entered the mage guild. "A bronze rank at that age, that''s not something you see often," the attendant said. He looked at the mage. "You''re that guy... Emm... The one below Rebrow. Right?" He ignored the attendant and looked at a dungeon sign. ''Stay out. SSS rank. Mage Organization.'' He noted the location on his diary. This was the second time a dungeon was classified SSS rank. The first one had been conquered by Rebrow. "There''s nothing more inviting to a mage than an ''stay out'' sign." "I don''t recommend you that one," the attendant said. "Not even Rebrow could conquer that dungeon." The mage pointed to a statue of Rebrow at the entrance. "You will see. I will conquer it and step above you." The attendant covered his laughter. Outside the dungeon, the second strongest mage wrote on his diary ''Today I''m going to surpass Rebrow!'' and put it on the safest place of all, his chest, just above his heart. If someone managed to destroy it, then his live will be destroyed next. "Master, let me go with you." "No. Stay here." "I never left your side since we met, why must I do it now?" "Shina, you''re only a bronze rank. It''s too dangerous. You have to wait until you''re gold rank." "Hmph. Fine." She held a green stone. "I will wait for you." He entered the first room. The floor was covered with corpses. The corpses fused together into a huge golem. "A Zombie Golem, huh? That''s only an S rank monster." He waved his staff. The staff was made from the claw of an SSS rank monster with a strange ruby as catalyst. A ray of light hit the Golem. Souls escaped from its body as it sat back, confused. Soon, it became corpses on the ground once more, leaving behind a tiny rock. The mage didn''t care to take it and kept walking forward. The puzzles and labyrinths weren''t that much different from SS rank dungeons. After completing hundreds of them, he could do them while blinded. A group of adventurers caught his eye. They all wore bronze and silver brooches. They were being pushed back by a small group of ten SS monsters. "Sigh... Amateurs. Just because you can beat the S rank gatekeeper, doesn''t mean you can freely explore the dungeon." He waved his hand. A hail hit the monsters, but evaded the adventurers. The monsters froze in a matter of seconds. He waved his hand again. The ruby shone and the monsters exploded.Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more. "Thanks." They exhaled in relief. "Don''t forget it, my name is..." *Booom* A huge five meter tall minotaur broke the wall behind him. "An SSS monster. Run!" "Leave him as a decoy and run." They escaped. "Damn, these people. Why do I even bother saving them..." He extended his hand. A purple barrier appeared. It was his strongest spell. The monster attacked with his axe, but not even an SSS monster could break it. "Hmph." He sneered. He hammered his staff against the big monster. The arm of the minotaur became smithereens. The minotaur staggered back. Its bull mouth opened to its limits and its eyes opened even more. "Disappear." He did the last blow. "Rooou." The minotaur became a crystal which the mage picked up. The crystal of an SSS monster fetched a very high price on the market. But money was of no use to him. "Heh, I can make Shina a nice ornament when I''m back." He smiled. The puzzles, the monsters, the traps, nothing hindered him in the slightest. Only the last boss would. If he could find him. "Where is the last boss? I''ve been searching for four hours already, and no trace of him..." He stopped in front of a wall and frowned. "This wall isn''t right. There should be no wall here." After thousands of dungeons, he understood their patterns and designs better than anyone else. He touched the wall. "Disappear." The wall disappeared. What he saw behind was something that changed the course of his life. The whole atmosphere changed. Blood and flesh covered the ground. Half-naked women were chained together. Unconscious humans and beasts floated in tubes with a strange light-blue liquid. Their mana left their body and joined a big ball at the middle. It was like he wasn''t in a dungeon anymore. Not daring to waste a second, he reformed the wall and casted an invisibility spell on himself. "This is..." His wide open mouth became a smile. "gold! Slaves? Mana farms? Those things are prohibited by law. Only Rebrow can do this in a place like this. If people find out about this, Rebrow''s reputation will fall like a meteor storm." The mage opened his diary. The pages filled with images of what was in front of him. A few gold rank mages moved around, but they couldn''t notice him at all, they lacked the qualifications to do so. "Heheheh." He took photo after photo. The his smile disappeared. He sidestepped and blocked. *Booooom* A two meter tall man appeared in front of him. He had a platinum brooch. "Rebrow!" "I don''t know who you are, but you aren''t going out of here alive." Rebrow extended his hand. He didn''t need a wand to use magic. Four beams of red energy went out of his hand. Each one of them could single-handedly destroy an SSS rank monster. A purple barrier appeared around the green-hooded mage. The four beams collided with the barrier. It was hard for the green-hooded mage; he had to concentrate fully to maintain the barrier, but so long as nothing happened, he will keep it up. After a moment, the beams stopped, he gritted his teeth and dashed out of the place. This wasn''t a good place to fight. The gold mages waved their staves. Their mana fused together and a huge mana torrent went after the mage. The mage turned back and used his staff to fight back the power. With a wave of his staff the torrent dissipated. Seeing that Rebrow was preparing a spell, he waved his staff again and disappeared. Teleportation wasn''t a move he would normally use, since it drew power from your life and was risky, even for him, but he couldn''t be picky now. He supported himself on a pillar. There were now a few more wrinkles on his face. A magic formation shone on the pillar for a second before disappearing. He ran toward the entrance of the dungeon. The exit was so close, yet so far away. Rebrow materialized in front of him. As soon as he appeared, four beams flew out from his hand. The green robed mage created the barrier again. The barrier stopped the four beams. He couldn''t move, but he wouldn''t get damaged. "This will be a battle of attrition. Let''s see what the other mages think when they see their adored Rebrow assaulting another mage." Even if the barrier used a lot of mana, he could hold the barrier for at least a day, maybe even two. "You''re strong." Rebrow slashed his left arm with his hand. Bright red blood floated in the air. "Now die." The blood became a fifth red beam and joined the other four. *Booooom* The barrier vibrated. "Goodbye, Shina." The green-robed mage smiled. The beams penetrated the barrier. His diary became ashes. The green stone in Shina''s hand broke. "Master!" She screamed. She cried even more than when her parents died. "Master!!!" Years passed. The SSS dungeon had yet to be conquered. A green-hooded girl with a gold brooch stood in front of a pillar. She did a secret magic formation and a book appeared on her hand. She opened it. ''Shina... Saving you and becoming your master was the best decision I took in my entire life. I sought glory, but now, so close to death, I understood that the recognition of a million strangers is nothing compared to the recognition you gave me. Thanks. ''Shina, seek your own happiness. Don''t lose yourself in revenge. Leave this place immediately and live a happy life. ''Goodbye.'' "Master..." A tear fell on the diary. Behind her, a man with a platinum brooch smiled. Looking for the skeletons "Where are the skeletons?" a little girl with a knife asked. "You shouldn''t look for skeletons," an innocent-looking girl said. "Why? You can''t eat them if they''re only bones," a boy eating ice cream said. "Living skeletons are just stories. They don''t exist in the real world," a kid with glasses said. "I don''t know," a pale kid said. "Let''s go look for the skeletons," the little girl said. The little girl and her friends went to the farm. They couldn''t find any skeletons, but they saw an UFO drawing indecent images on the grass. "Mister alien," the little girl asked, "do you know where are the skeletons?" "I can only answer you in exchange of something," the alien answered. "Mister alien, what do you want?" "One of your friends will be fine." The little girl looked at her white-haired friend. "Just because my hair is white doesn''t mean I''m a rare specimen," the albino kid protested. The little girl pushed the knife on the back of her white-haired friend. "He has the rarest hair you can find." The albino kid walked forward while crying. "Mister alien, where are the skeletons?" "You will find them in the cemetery," the alien said. He abducted the kid and left to another planet. The little girl and her friends went to the cemetery. They couldn''t find any skeletons, but they saw the zombies having an after-party. "Mister zombies," the little girl asked, "do you know where are the skeletons?"This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it. "Grooooar grooooar," a zombie answered. "Mister zombie, what do you want?" "Grooooar." The zombie pointed at a kid. The little girl looked at her intelligent friend. "I refuse to accept that a zombie could possibly know where to find skeletons. He can''t even speak our language," the smart kid protested. The little girl pushed the knife on the back of her intelligent friend. "He has the biggest brain you can find." The smart kid walked forward while crying. "Mister zombie, where are the skeletons?" "Grooooar." The zombie pointed at a castle. They feasted upon the kid and went back to dance. The little girl and her friends went to the castle. They couldn''t find any skeletons, but they saw a vampire playing video games. "Mister vampire," the little girl asked, "do you know where are the skeletons?" "I can only answer you in exchange of something," the vampire answered. "Mister vampire, what do you want?" "One of your friends will be fine." The little girl looked at her fat friend. "I like dinner, but I don''t want to be the dinner," the plump boy protested. The little girl pushed the knife on the back of her fat friend. "He has the most blood you can find." The plump boy walked forward while crying. "Mister vampire, where are the skeletons?" "You will find them in hell," the vampire said. The vampire bit the boy''s neck and opened a portal. The little girl and her friend went to hell. They couldn''t find any skeletons, but they saw a demon forcing souls to watch Boku no Pico. "Mister demon," the little girl asked, "do you know where are the skeletons?" "I can only answer you in exchange of something," the demon answered. "Mister demon, what do you want?" "Your friend will be fine." The little girl looked at her last friend. "You shouldn''t trust demons," the pure girl protested. The little girl pushed the knife on the back of her last friend. "She has the purest soul you can find." The pure girl walked forward while crying. "Mister demon, where are the skeletons?" "The skeleton is inside you," the demon said. He destroyed the physical body of the girl and absorbed her pure soul. Finally, the little girl had an answer. She took her knife and cut all the flesh off her body. When she opened her now empty sockets, she saw herself as an skeleton. "It was inside me all along." She smiled. The little girl became a knife-wielding skeleton and lived happily until the heath death of the universe. The End. Last Man on Earths Suicide Note The world is done for. Humanity is done for. Well... that may still live on. But there is nothing back. No one to read this. I don''t know why I''m even writing this. No, I know why. To cope with the fact that I, as well, am going to die soon. Let''s start with myself. My name is Ron Smith. I''m thirty-two years old. I don''t drink water; I always refused to do so. Much less now, considering what happened. I drink soda and wine. Anyway... You don''t care about this, do you? But that is what saved my life. It begun a few weeks ago. I was walking down the street like normal, when I noticed something strange. Something moved in the eyes of a man in front of me. "What the fuck?" "What are you looking at?" The guy stopped. His eyes had a tiny little black line twirling around. Then another, and another. "Uh? My eyes itch." He scratched his eyelids. It wasn''t only him. No. Everybody stopped walking and touched their eyes. Except me, I was looking. I saw it happen, right there, right in front of me. A burst of blood came out as maggots or worms. I don''t know what those things were, lets call them worms. They came out of his eyes. The same happened to everybody else. I crouched and vomited. They also crouched and vomited, but I threw up food; they threw up more worms. I ran back home. I wanted to escape from that place, to never be near there again. Along the way I saw everybody like that, with worms coming out of their bodies. I checked my smartphone. The internet worked just fine. I saw streams, the streamers were now dead, with worms leaving from all their orifices. It wasn''t only here; it happened all around the world. While I was looking at my smartphone something else happened, some of the worm-filled corpses moved again. Up and down, as if they were having seizures. Their stomachs exploded. From there, giant worms, about an arm long, extended themselves. They bit the corpse until nothing was left, then they went to the other corpses. As they ate, they grew bigger. "Holy shit." I ran home faster. There was no traffic. All the cars had crashed. I couldn''t use my car either. The streets were full of crashed cars. "Ah, a survivor. Thank god. Help me," Someone said to my left. I looked at him. He had his legs crushed by a truck. "Help me." He repeated. I took one step forward and stopped. Two of the big worms approached him. They munched on his arms and abdomen. When his bowels showed up, they ate them too.Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. "Help help!" he screamed. It was too late for him. I ran away. "Help!" I heard behind me. I reached home safely and barricaded the entrance door. I called my parents and my friends, but none of them answered. I spent the whole day on the internet, talking with the few people alive. It was a pointless activity, but it kept us from being completely alone. Almost everybody threw up worms and had them coming out of their eyes. The few survivors were talking about it. "It''s in the water, in the water," they said. "I didn''t drink any, and that''s why I''m alive." At least the few ones that weren''t talking about the end of the world or god. The next day, there was an announcement. All the websites and videos changed to that of a guy. There were eleven girls behind him. All of them different types of beauties. They were young and the hottest women I saw in my life, even in movies. They looked at the ground with a sad expression on their faces. Only two of them were smiling. Those were the two closest to the guy. Behind the girls, there were thousands of machines working. "Hello to the few survivors who are watching this. I can''t believe you could survive. But I guess it''s to be expected, there were eight billion people after all. Oh, well. I''m somewhat nervous; my life goal has been achieved." He touched the two girls closest to him and did perverted stuff to them. "You may wonder. How could you do such a thing? Well, it''s very obvious if you look at the background. I invented it at last. A general AI. With some time to learn, it was able to improve everything at an exponential rate. Now, I''ve defied death; I''m immortal. My body will never die nor rot. Not so long as I have enough resources to keep me alive. That''s why humans had to die. They were no longer necessary; they were just obstacles in my way to get all resources. "Don''t worry, humans as we know them may die, but humanity will survive. I picked the twelve most beautiful women in the world to serve me. Sadly, one of them decided to kill herself. But with the others, I will work hard to keep humanity alive. "I''m leaving this planet. This planet is bound to die sooner or later. It may be an asteroid, the sun, whatever. The future is in space. And the future belongs only to me. I will become the ruler of the whole universe. Goodbye." After that, the internet stopped working. I survived so far, so I kept surviving. I stole food from the supermarkets. I looked for survivors, but it was all pointless. Days passed, weeks passed. At first, the worms got bigger and bigger, a few were twice as big as a person. But with time, they too died, from hunger I suppose. Only I kept living. The machines came, they took everything. All the food, all the minerals, everything. I watched them, powerless as they took it. I don''t know if somewhere else someone is alive, writing something like this. But I never saw anyone else alive since the day this happened. Some days, I hear the voice of my family and friends, talking to me, telling me to come with them. But when I look, no one is there. I think I''m going crazy. I don''t want to keep living, not anymore. Not in this insane empty world. I feel somewhat better after writing this. Now I can die at peace. Oh, look, there it is. The spaceship. I can see it, flying away. Goodbye. Extradimensional Being An investigator found a diary hidden in a drawer and read it. There were times when I felt observed, but no matter how much I looked for, I couldn''t find the owner of those eyes. At I least I couldn''t, until I found it... I hope I didn''t. It was a common night. I was going to sleep. When I heard some noises outside. "It must be the wind," I said to myself, but I took the gun in the drawer to be prepared. The gun was always loaded and ready to fire. I wasn¡¯t going to let my safety in the hands of fate. I waited looking at the door. Surrounded by darkness. The noises had long since stopped, but I remained there. "See? It must have been the wind or a cat." "Aaahh" Someone screamed upstairs. "Upstairs?" No one passed the entrance, so how could they get upstairs without me hearing anything? I walked upstairs while paying attention to not make any noise. I moved at a much slower pace than usual. As I was walking, I noticed that it wasn''t a person screaming, but two. They kept screaming all the way. The sound came from the bathroom. I was going to open the door, but I stopped. I was hesitant. "Should I open it?" The screams stopped. I looked at the door for a minute, with my gun pointing at it. Nothing happened. I gathered my strength and opened the door. An odor like that of a slaughterhouse invaded me. This is disgusting. I turned the light on. The switch was warm and wet. "Aah." I jumped backward. There were two faces on the wall. They were drawn with blood. Even more blood dripped from the walls forming a puddle. I put down my gun; there was nothing to fire at. "What could have killed them like that?" The weird feeling of being observed happened again. I looked behind me, but there was nothing there. I went back to bed. I couldn''t sleep that night. I didn''t dare to. I spent the rest of the night pointing at the door with my gun. Nothing happened. Not even the stray dogs who usually bark at night barked that day. Pure silence. That silence wasn''t calming, on the contrary. Whatever was behind the door would enter as soon as I dropped my guard. I couldn''t relax for a minute. Not sure if the thing left or if it was because of me guarding the door all night, but nothing happened that day. "I won''t be able to sleep in this home any longer." I called work to tell them I was sick, then I took some clothes and went to my parents'' house. "What happened?" They asked. "You wouldn''t believe it if I told you, so I prefer not to." I didn''t want them to think I''m crazy, so I didn''t tell them. "Can I sleep here a few days?" "Yes, son. Sure." I went to my old room. It had a bit of dust, but I felt safe here. I left my things and went to sleep. It was normal day, but another terrible night. I woke up to the feeling of something touching me. I didn''t know what it was. I couldn''t move or open my eyes. I just stood there, feeling it. After some minutes, I could move again. There was nothing there, but I still had the feeling of being observed. I looked at the clock; it said 3:15. I went to the bathroom. When I looked myself in the mirror, I shivered. My body paralyzed. There were eight scratches across my face. I touched them. They didn''t hurt in the slightest as if they weren''t actually there, but I could see them on me. They were real. "I need some beer." I went to the kitchen. When I turned on the lights, I saw it in front of me. Almost twice as tall as me. There were four yellow slits looking at me. The thing didn''t have legs. Instead, it had some black bulky mass with red veins. Its body was black and somewhat translucent. Eight long slim fingers approached to my face. It moved slowly, without any hurry. I took the closest thing I found, and threw it to it. It was some salt. I ran back to my room. The demon moved its head from side to side and ran after me. It didn''t have a mouth to scream, but I knew it wanted to scream. I closed the door of my room and blocked it with my bed. The demon scratched it, but it couldn''t enter. My gun, my gun. I took out my gun, but I was afraid of shooting. What if... My parents come to see what happened, and get attacked? In the end, I couldn''t fire, not unless the thing passed the door, but it never crossed it. I waited the whole night once again, and nothing happened.If you encounter this narrative on Amazon, note that it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it. "Son, lunch is ready." My mother opened the door. "Why did you scratch the door at night?" "You won''t believe this, but... There is a demon. It followed my back from my home. I don''t know what to do about it. It had long claw-like fingers and four yellow slits for eyes." "Eh... Are you doing drugs?" "No, I''m not. Look at my face. It scratched me too." "You don''t have anything." When I looked at the mirror again, the scratches had disappeared. "I believe you," grandpa said from behind my mother. "Those things existed back in my days as well. I punched one or two too. I have a friend. He knows a lot about those fuckers. Come with me." We went to his friend''s home. A cute girl opened the door. "Uh? Are you looking for grandpa? He died two years ago." "It always happens. When you''re my age, all the people you know are either in the cemetery or in the hospital." "What do you need?" An overweight middle-aged man walked toward us. He wore a blue shirt and a hat. "We were looking for Paul to help us with some good ol'' demons, but he''s dead." "Oh, grandpa. I know everything he knew. So I can help you." I described what happened last night to him. "Don''t call them demons. They prefer to be called extradimensional beings. And they''re pretty common." "How can I kill it?" "Kill it? Why would you want to kill it? They are harmless." "Harmless? It''s always staring at me and it attacked me yesterday." "Extradimensional beings don''t normally kill people. If they did, we would all be dead already. You threw salt to him. You will get pissed as well if I suddenly throw salt at you." "Can you help me get rid of it or not?" "Well, yes. I can. You cannot kill it, but you can banish it. I can do it for some cash." "Sure..." I paid him. He went to my house and drew a strange formation on the floor. "When the extradimensional being steps on it, you have to shout ''Begone!'' and it will leave. Okay?" "It''s that simple?" "Yes, but it won''t work unless you say it with force and it''s standing on the formation. Remember to do it properly. Okay?" For the next two days, nothing happened. I didn''t feel observed or anything. Then, it happened. I felt it, something was looking at me. "At last." I took out my gun and walked to the formation. "Come at me. I know you are there." It didn''t respond, but the feeling didn''t disappear. I shot where the thing was at, even if I couldn''t see it. I stepped back. The thing appeared once more. It was furious. It dashed toward me. "Begone." I shouted, but nothing happened. The demon took me by the neck and raised me. "Begone." It strangled me, with its other hand it slashed at me. "Begone!" The floor shone. This time, it worked. The thing became ashes as it disappeared in front of my eyes. I fell to the floor. I couldn''t get up. I heard some noises coming toward me. "What are you doing there?" There was a multitude of people. All of them with guns pointing at me. "Eh?" They kicked me in the face and took my gun. Then, they punched me until I lost consciousness. When I woke up I was on my bed. "So, you killed our people, uh?" "I didn''t kill anyone." "Tony and Robert came the other day here. They were just looking to take a few things you don''t need. But there was a problem. They never came back. Do you understand me? We came here to see what happened, but you weren''t here. What was here, though, was their blood. On a bathroom. Both of them died here, and you are saying you don''t know anything?" "It was a demon. It killed them." "Pfff Do you take me for an idiot?" He punched me on the stomach. "Do you understand what you did there? You killed innocent people. People that didn''t need to die. Tony may had a passion for little girls, but he was a good man. And Robert was in jail three times, but that doesn''t mean he deserves to die. We''re gonna make you and your family suffer the same fate they suffered." They tied me up on the bed and left, but I could escape. One of them is still guarding the house, but he can''t see me. I''m going to die, that''s for sure. I''m writing this in hopes they don''t find it. I hope whoever reads it can tell the world the truth. About the demons and about what happened to me today. The investigator read the diary and threw it in the furnace. He knew what was written was true, but he wouldn''t let anyone else know it. He looked at the police officers. "The man was crazy and killed all his family before killing himself."