《The Theoretically Badass Phoenix Archer》


 Prolougue- This is going well!

    Jean''s day started as most of his days do, with him throwing himself at danger in the hopes of not dying or making a fool of himself.


    We find him here, running down a dimly lit hallway away from a giant boulder wishing he had some kind of hat and whip to make the experience more authentic and memorable.


    "Why does this always happen to me?!?!" He cried to no one in particular, although mainly because he was the only one currently in the hallway, the rest of his party having known about the trap and stayed clear while he continued on like the airhead he tended to be. He would probably be willing to carry on a conversation while he was running too, he was just that talkative.


    Seeing the boulder was slowly catching up to him, he started looking for ways out of his current predicament, seeing a corner ahead he quickly increased his speed as much as he could and rounded the corner relying on kinetic force to keep the boulder from crushing him. A few seconds later the boulder came speeding by and didn''t somehow back up and follow him, as with his luck he''d expected to happen.


    He kept on walking down the sparsely lit corridor until he found a well light room which looked like the end of the dungeon he and his party had been exploring. At the door to what was probably the boss room he found his party talking amongst themselves as if giddy schoolgirls ''most likely excited for the boss fight'' he thought, not knowing that they were actually glad to finally be rid of him. While he was fairly useful in being a ranger, he wasn''t a great shot with his bow. To be completely honest he was terrible.


    So they had secretly decided that they would get rid of him as this way they wouldn''t have to split the loot five ways and could instead go four ways, meaning more money and loot for themselves. Perhaps a selfish decision but nobodies mentality is the same, including loyalty, friendship, and greed.


    Jean, unaware of such things took it upon himself to wave at his friends with his regular friendly personality and yelled out to them.


    "Hey guys, I made it!! You could''ve warned me about that trap, I almost died, good thing I''m a great runner then right!" He then laughed along with himself and the encroaching silence and unnoticed by him stiff awkwardness in the air between his party.


    The mage turned to look at him first, him being the somewhat short and average looking guy with the blue hooded robe, the hood prevented any amount of his face from being seem, he was holding no weapons to speak of but Jean knew from experience he had a spacial ring on one of the fingers of his right hand, which he used to carry most of the parties loot and supplies. His gaze was followed by the warrior whom was a tall and better than average (but not by much) looking man wearing steel platemail that matched his blue eyes and militaristic cut brown hair. He had a longsword and shield, and a spear on his back as a secondary weapon, all of which he could use well being the battle honed warrior he was.


    The two others soon joined in gazing at the late and not dead as they expected ranger, those people being the thief and the cleric. The thief being a small and lolitastic girl wearing leather armour with a washboard sized chest and a rather childlike face that matched the pigtails hairstyle her purple lochs were in, the only thing about her that didn''t scream "I''M TWELVE!!!" were the rather wicked looking daggers she had one of on each hip. The cleric being a rather plain looking long haired blonde woman with a rather larger than normal chest under the white priest robes she was wearing she carried a green wooden staff which she used a catalyst for her healing and buff spells as well as her miracles.


    The man they were all looking at was Jean of course our protagonist whom now that he was in the light could be seen better, he was a few inches taller than the average person and while not overly lanky wasn''t really ripped either, at least he was fit. He wore a dark green cloak which hid his face and clothes underneath, which was also leather armour not unlike the thief. You could see his bow under his cloak but not much else, the most you could see was the bottom half of his face which showed that if the rest of his face followed the set pattern that he was in his late teens like everybody else (yes the loli is only a loli in looks not age) in the party, and not much better than average looking.


    "Soooooo," said Jean now being the first and second person to speak "are we gonna fight the boss or what?"


    His party members all nodded to each other and pushed open the doors not waiting for him to follow, Jean not being able to see past the door without having to use his night vision skill was still oblivious to what was happening as happily trotted along after his "friends". Everything from there on went about as he''d have expected except with one key difference, as soon as he walked in she door he was impaled with the spear the warrior carried as a ranged and backup weapon.A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.


    Jean looked down at the new addition to his chest with widened but bit yet revealed eyes, the spear had gone straight through and stuck in the wall behind him right next to the door, feeling fairly numb and surprised he slowly slid down the spear and leaned against the wall spear still taking up a large section of where his abdomen was before it traded places with said aforementioned spear.


    He looked up to see his party surrounding him and all looking at their handiwork with various expressions.


    The mage, Jean assumed, was smiling maniacally or so he felt. He couldn''t actually see his face with it still being hidden by his hood but he could still fell the glee practically radiating off of him washing over his numbed senses in waves, or so he felt, once again he still could be illusioned into thinking that, going into shock will do that to a person.


    The warrior was giving a cruel smile that spoke of his arrogance and haughtiness, as well as lack of regret of his actions


    The cleric at least had the decency to look apologetic though not quite sympathetic.


    The thief was the one that hurt Jean the most, emotionally that is. (I can''t quite stress the whole not feeling much of anything deal enough) She had a completely bored and indifferent expression. As if what was now happening was just another chore to do or menial task to complete. The same face she often wore when they had to do E-rank missions as newbie adventurers.


    Jean couldn''t really process what was happening at the moment and settled for going limp on the spear but not dying yet, though definitely moving towards dying at a fast pace. His hood slid off his head finally showing his heart wrenching face, tears streaming out of his silver eyes, his normally well groomed fiery red hair was no longer in its regular pony tail and was a disheveled mess that hung around his shoulders and on parts of his face though not enough to hide the betrayal on his face. His skin was normally well tanned and sun kissed but was now pale due to his large amount of blood loss.


    The party only now seeing their resident jokesters face for the first time in the several years they had all worked together, while most had caught glimpses at his face he made sure to never reveal it. He wasn''t deformed or ugly or anything he just felt like it was a mildly funny running joke. The cleric looked slightly more apologetic and now somewhat sympathetic, the warrior and mage started laughing or in the mages case cackling, and the thief had her brows slightly raised but not much else had changed. As if to signify she was interested in what was happening but not enough to say anything or much care.


    A loud thump had sounded behind them signifying the boss monster of the dungeon had finally arrived, all non speared to a wall members of the party turned to face the beast only to find it wasn''t a beast at all, no it was a ten foot tall rock golem with a giant stone bow it was somehow able to draw and use. The most noticeable thing about the golem wasn''t it''s weapon or size was that it was on fire, not the I''m melting or roast you kind of fire but the, I''m on fire on purpose and am gonna use it to get lit up in here kind of fire.


    The mage immediately set about casting water bolts at the golem which stunned it if only momentarily. The cleric followed up by casting a strength buff on the warrior which he assumed was his key to get in and begin his attack. And attack he did he got close to the golem only for it to lash out with a stone boot which clashed strongly against the warriors shield. While the golem was standing on one foot the mage took advantage off his lack of anchored balance and cast a powerful water spell.


    "Water slicer!!" He chanted upon his finishing of the casting of the spell. The spell made contact and temporarily doused the fire enough for the party to see the golems battery, a Ruby like red gem was keeping it powered, and semi experienced adventurer knew the battery was the best way to defeat a golem, and everyone in the party being a B-rank adventurer they were well acquainted with the golems easiest weakness. Why anyone had placed it''s most glaring weakness in its forehead as if to say "KILL ME!" To the world no-one had even considered in the moment.


    The thief was about to throw a dagger when an arrow suddenly Pierced the gem and sent the golem crumbling to dust on the ground.


    The party looked back at the only party member that had a bow in surprise that he had actually made a shot and were all again even more surprised to find he was both alive and had launched the arrow.


    "Dammit," cursed the tiny thief "The one time he made a decent shot and it steals the boss kill from us when he won''t even be alive to gain the specialty skill."


    "Well, losses sometimes occur at least we''ll probably get some sympathy booze from the other adventurers at the adventurers guild. We should get moving now, the golem didn''t drop anything so we''re done here." The warrior spoke with finality in his voice that told the rest of the party he wasn''t to be argued with, and so the party filed out on their way out of the dungeon the same way they came in, none of them looking back except the cleric whom cast one more apologetic gaze before following her friends.


    What they didn''t realize at the time(and Jean included, since he had passed out after firing the arrow) was that the skill he had gained would change more than could think possible.

 Chapter 1- O Shoot, I R Alive

    Groggy eyes slowly blinked themselves open to a empty room that their owner found vaguely familiar, it had deteriorated alot since the last time he had seen it, the dungeon probably slowly falling apart without a boss monster, but he had a strong memory of it. He had died in this room.


    He now took the time find out where exactly in said room he was, he quickly discovered he was on his knees right next to the door, if his memory serves him correctly he''d been speared to the wall last time.


    He was far less speared now, and upon searching his person and patting himself down he noticed how everything from his leather armour which now somehow didn''t have a hole in the abdomen area, to his bow and cloak were in surprisingly good condition, better than they had been in a while actually, though perhaps covered in more soot than he remembered.


    Seeing as how he was alive he decided to see how he had managed to pull that off, normally his luck sucked, what was different this time?


    He opened up his status to see what had changed if anything had changed at all.


    [Jean Pyero-Ranger]-HP 100%-Age 22/Lvl 31


    Str-26 Int-19


    Con-17 Wis-33


    Agi-62 Vgr-38


    Dex-53 FLAME-0


    ...


    Jean now had several more problems than he wanted, the first and foremost being how did he get that new stat? Most people have 7 stats, in fact he had never seen someone who didn''t have just the seven stats. Most average non adventurers also had around ten in each stat on average.


    Str stands for strength, which is a fairly accurate measurement of your physical strength. It''s mostly factored in when attacking or carrying objects. Good for warriors and manual laborers.


    Int stands for intelligence, often an estimate your sheer brainpower. How well you remember things, as well as most of your non creative brain functions, like doing math or researching boring topics. Good for mages and magic users.This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.


    Con stands for constitution, how well built a immune system you have. Those with high constitution are often taller and sturdier, a stat you wanted alot of if you planned on getting hit or just being rough in general. Often pairs well with strength.


    Wis stands for wisdom, similar too intelligence but much more creative. Unlike the dry logic and processing of intelligence wisdom was for those who were experienced in the ways of the world and knew what they were doing. Great for anyone to have, it''s a wise choice to get wise.


    Agi stands for agility, which is how fast you can move. Good for those who need to stay nimble and light on their feet.


    Vgr stands for vigor which is a combination of your spiritual strength such as willpower and your physical stamina. Those with high Vgr are hard workers or just pumped that stat, either of those tell alot about a person.


    Dex stands for dexterity, dexterity is the stat that determines how flexible one is. People with high dexterity are known to be very graceful and precise.


    Jean was level 31 so he wasn''t any kind of ignorant fool, everyone got 8 points per level up. People leveled up by killing monsters and doing other things that would improve you. Anything could level a person up really, you could level up from killing a dragon or riding said dragon over the moon, you could level up from lifting a heavy rock over your head or breaking it, (or breaking yourself in an attempt to break it) it all depended on what you were doing how it was going. There were alot of factors to it so most people were just cautious in all their endeavours and tried their best as often as possible.


    While he knew plenty about how a person''s status worked he knew virtually nothing about this newest stat, in fact he''d had yet to hear of it until now. It certainly caused alot of questions to spring up and he had answers for little to none of them.


    He decided to look through his abilities to see of they were different, and there to behind was a new skill he didn''t recall having.


    Phoenix Archer- you have defeated an heir of the Fire Feather golem clan whom had mastered archery and most if not all of its aspects, and therefore stole it''s ability and knowledge of the bow, that ability being a pseudo immorality. While you still age and get sick every time you die you will come back to life in the same state you were in before death, the only exception to this being you will be revived at the age of when you first gained the ability. **WARNING** First revival may cause difficulties.


    Wow, that was certainly useful as hell, doesn''t quite explain the flame stat but definitely gives more of an idea as to what it might be, regardless he''d probably find out at some point. So according to the description he was now a master fo the bow, which was a really nice plus since he was quite possibly the worlds only inaccurate ranger. It also granted him something close to immortality he wouldn''t die permanently and when he did die, temporarily mind you, he would come back with his level and stats but would be younger. ''Damn this is really overpowered. I wonder what it meant by difficulties anyway??'' Well once again he could figure that out another time, right now he wanted out of the dungeon and to get a drink. So then he stood up and made his way out of the dungeon.

 Chapter 2- five is the worst number...

    A few stray rays of light shine through the canopy of trees just outside the entrance/exit of the dungeon in the late hours of the afternoon hours of the day.


    A green cloaked man walks out of the dungeon door taking even and calm steps looking as if calculating each movement precisely. He had the walk of a man of great prowess and dignity, yet an inner mysteriousness. How the hell that could be portrayed by simply walking is beyond most people. (myself included)


    Needless to say, This man is our protagonist Jean. And if anyone could read his thoughts his cool and powerful look wouldn''t really be that impressive anymore.


    ''EEEEEEEEEEE I BET I LOOK SO COOL RIGHT NOW!!!'' He thought in a high pitched tone befitting that of a prepubescent mouse. ''Now I''ve just got to keep this up and I''ll be a legend in no time. Hehehehe, this is already fun.''


    Now that he was less focused on looking like a "boss" as he mentally referred to it, he noticed the trees that were surrounding the entrance. Realizing that said trees were much smaller barely saplings when he had entered the dungeon. Paying it little to no mind as he counted it off as his lack of paying close attention when he came in.


    He continued on his Merry way to the closest town. It took a few hours of walking but he eventually made it there. After seeing the town in the distance he immediately high tailed it towards the aforementioned place of mass residence.


    In the town itself he received alot of attention from many a passerby. From some wayward glances from the average Joe, to some lesser ranked adventurers in the area for one reason or another. All of them sharing the same thoughts. That man is not to be messed with, every single one of them had no idea he was just a jolly idiot just walking to the local adventurers guild branch. They saw a dark and powerful warrior with purpose in his step and power behind every stride. If only they knew, how opposite of what they expected he was.


    After a few minutes of looking around the town for the local guild branch he finally found it near the center of the small village. Immediately entering it he went straight for the counter.


    While heading for the counter he brushed past a tall bald and scarred warrior with broad shoulders and barbarian style leather armour. Apparently big guys like that don''t take too kindly to when people even almost bump into them, the warrior went to grab onto Jean but was stopped when Jean had already grabbed his hand and was holding one of the several daggers he kept in his satchel and on his person above the warriors hand.


    "Don''t touch me if you want to keep that hand." Jean stated as if it was fact with a chilling grin on what was revealed of his face.


    Needless to say the warrior was reconsidering his actions by now, and had already assumed this badass adventurer was about to cut his hand off. Rather than lose the hand he decided on retracting it slowly and upon starting to do so Jeans grip on his hand was released.Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.


    Meanwhile Jean was doing what he always did, mentally making an idiot of himself. ''Holy shit I looked so cool while doing that, my reputation is gonna skyrocket in no time, legendary status here I come!!'' God help him if he ever encountered a psychic.


    Finally at the counter he addressed the middle aged woman manning the counter.(Get it? A woman manning the counter? Woman, man... I''ll shut up now.)


    Jean briefly coughed into his hand to garner her attention from the paperwork she was filling out. She looked up with a questioning gaze and asked what he was hoping she would with her not quite but almost monotone voice. "How may I help you sir?"


    "Ahhhhhhh I''d like to have my adventurers license updated and maybe take a few solo B or C rank quests. And a code name now that I think about it." After saying this he handed her the card that was his license.


    "Alright sir for the complete updating we need you to fill this form out and pay a silver coin." He spent no time dallying and had set the count down and was filling the sheet out with all his information. He wrote his code name down as Phoenix. A code name being important for those who are fine with the guild knowing their name but not other adventurers. He handed it to her when he was done and she briefly left with it, returning only a minute or so later with his now up to date license. He looked it over to see that everything was correct when he noticed something, his age was wrong. He decided to ask her about that before he left. "Ma''am, I''m sorry but you got my age wrong."


    "I don''t believe I did sir, you last had your license updated when you were 22 back in E2Y109, it''s it''s now E2Y114 basic arithmetic says that''s five years."


    His mind immediately went blank, he expected there to be complications from what his skill had told him, but this was more than just a complication. He had been dead for five years. He was still standing at the front of the line while thinking this so he quickly settled for moving out of line and making his way to the tavern portion of the guild for that drink he had wanted earlier.


    It didn''t take much time to get a booth in the corner by himself and for a waitress to bring him the drink he had requested with the universal hand wave towards the bar counter. He''d never had a big family being an orphan but he had a little sister, two years younger than himself, he took care of when their parents died. Where was she? He had left to become adventuring when he was 19 and she was 17 because she had claimed she could take care of herself and knew he had always wanted to be an adventurer. She was older than him now. While he was technically 27 he hadn''t aged a day in five years, she was 25 now. This sent a reeling weird feeling through his body. He hadn''t visited her since he started adventuring and wondered again how she was doing now, he brought himself off of this train of though by deciding he would visit her at some point. Hopefully soon. It may have only been 3 years for him but it had been 8 years for her.


    He settled for listening to conversations around him while nursing his drink.


    "... and then I swear a Minotaur came out of the wall, he couldn''t of snuck up behind me, I have the eyes of a hawk."


    "You can''t see behind you, you idiot."


    Jean particularly liked that group, though they reminded him of his old friends far too much for his liking of them to encourage him to join them.


    After drinking a few pints he stood up to leave only slightly wobbly and departed to the quest board. Choosing a B-rank orc/goblin raiding band extermination quest and confirmed it by signing his codename under it.


    He then rented a room on the second floor of the guild in order to stay the night. Deciding now was the best time to get to sleep he went up to his room and set about doing so. It didn''t take him long for him to get to sleep, though his neighbors could have sworn they could hear his snoring through the walls.