《The Perplexing Life of an Eccentric (idiot) Guardian》 Prologue: A meeting .................. "......!" ..........annoying ".....!!!" .......what "..... up!" ......don''t wanna "Get up!!!!!" ......Hah? What the hell? Who''s screaming? Lazily, I open my eyes and look around. I''m in a large and basically blank space, nothing around except other people, some chairs, and a random stage, which seem to be floating. Then I turn back to look at the annoyance. It''s a male holding a clipboard, his face would be handsome if not for the angry expression on his face, what with his golden irises and blond hair...yep a standard annoyance. Than he says something again, "#243 wake up! This is a meeting, an annual meeting! How hard is it to stay awake for like 3 hours!?" Oh right, did I mention he''s an angel, like with the shiny white wings and all? He''s annoying though, as if I care about some boring meeting. I wanna go back to sleep...but my benefits will probably be cut and I rather enjoy watching those silly Earthlings anime on the Gaurdian Net. Sadly, it seems I will have to pay attention during this meeting...for like 5 minutes.... As I get up, I look around and see similarly bored Guardians who look well, like gaurdians! No really, that''s the best way to describe it since us Guardians don''t have a standard appearance. Instead, we come from all races with varying appearances and clothing preferences, which is a hassle in my opinion. Not that I need clothing, I''m a dragon after all. With my shiny, super awesome black scales I could care less about clothes, or rather it would be weirder if I did wear anything.Stolen novel; please report. "Hi" I pause to look around for whose talking until I look down and notice some tiny guy in front of me...where did he come from? My stare seems to have offended him as he yells, "Don''t tell me you didn''t even notice me!?" Well, to be fair...he is tiny... "I''m not tiny, your just stupidly huge! Why aren''t you shrinking like most of the other big guys do!" Is he a mind reader!? Though, what is he talking about? Shrink myself? I don''t really want to, that is too much work as I would have to like concentrate and stuff...too much work. So I tell him that, but he just stared at me "it seems your reputation is well-deserved" is all he had to say before he walked away seemingly tired of this conversation. Reputation? I wonder, have I met him before? Let''s see, a pale-skinned guy, around 2 meters, silver hair, red eyes, and obsidian horns curling around his head...yep don''t remember anyone like that...also what is with his black robes there almost as dark as my scales! The kind of black that seems to suck the color and light out of the surroundings. That''s my thing! Well, I don''t really care too much so I''m just going to go my regular corner as I don''t like talking to people. *10 Minutes later* "Welcome to the 600,600,600,600,600,600th meeting of the Guardians!!!" That fellow must be new...otherwise he wouldn''t be so enthusiastic...hey wait what! It''s the Blondie!! What''s he doing up there!? That stage is for our supervisor...damn...that annoying idiot is going to be the new supervisor!? Screw it I''m retiring!!! "As usual in this meeting we will be reviewing our performance as a group and looking for improvements that can be made to our current system" Yeah sure, just don''t change anything for me, I like it the way it is... "Moreover, this year is important since we have seen a decrease in the amount of mortals reaching the required threshold to ascend, so we must look into this and why it has decreased!" Meh, less work for me so I could care less... "Serious matters aside, my name is Courage and yes I''m the supreme angel of one of the seven virtues, Courage! My name is the same as my virtue as per the tradition, but don''t worry I hope to work with you all at your pace and encourage the mortals!!!" So that''s why he has so many wings!!!! "As well I will leave as soon as my job is--" """"Yayyyyy""""" Wow, looks like everybody feels the same as me! I feel like I''m part of the team! I should join in, I should- nah too much work...also I don''t want to draw attention to myself. But still, you go guys yay!!! I''m cheering for you on the inside! For sure! ....................... Their still cheering? Wow, that guy looks like he''s going to cry...I guess courage doesn''t work with allies or something...but than again, I guess anyone in his position would feel like crying. Like a lot. Well, back to sleep....... Chapter 1: RUN AWAY!!!! When I woke up I was greeted with the twitching face of the Blondie. It seems that I missed a part (90%) of the meeting. Well, personally I value my sleeping time and relaxation much more so that''s that. Still, I might have missed something important going by the panicked Gaurdians running around and consulting each other. Though, it would look more impressive if the meeting area wasn''t just a ginat blank space, aside from some chairs and a stage. Which was weird just floating around there I guess...but I should probably ask somebody. .......... I just realized, but I have no friends....and like ''stranger danger!'' so randomly asking somebody certainly isn''t happening. Mostly, because communicating with people without somehow offending them is hard...stupid society with its manners and ''correct'' behaviour. "Hey, could you at least pretend to care? Falling asleep like that is not helping my self-esteem!" The neglected Blond-oh wait Courage suddenly starts. "You are a lazy introvert, I know this from your file-" Wait what! The heck? There is a file on me!? Yay! No wait, boooo! Why is my file making me sound so pathetic!? "-but, you are still a 3-digit Gaurdian so I expect more from you. More importantly, I need your help with the problem I was speaking of earlier. Mortals aren''t ascending as much anymore, and as I explained to the other Guardians already, all Guardians must try to increase the mortals ascension rate within their assigned territories."If you come across this story on Amazon, it''s taken without permission from the author. Report it. The blo-no Courage, remember me, I can''t prove that file right!!!! Still, this job seemed like a pain, but if I''m interpreting this right...I have an excuse to go randomly cause trouble for the mortals and have fun right!? As for being a 3-digit Guardian...I could care less. Technically, it''s an honour, since the number is basically our ranking and a higher ranking is impressive. Especially when you have those poor saps with a name like ''Guardian 8973456780987654321E2R4G7H8'', I mean that''s not just a mouthful...it''s just sad and pathetic. However, in my case I could have a higher ranking if I wanted! That''s totally not an excuse or anything! "So does that mean I can like...I don''t know, legally blow up the mortals kingdoms for fun!?" My question seems to have mentally disturbed Courage as he looks at me like I''m a mental patient or something... "Are you...retarded?" That''s meeeeeaaaaan! "HEY! I-It''s totally logical! If the mortals have an enemy to try to kill (not as if they have any chance of hurting me) they will work harder and grow faster right?" Courage seems to still think I''m an idiot and now a physco if his overly exaggerated reaction is anything to go by. "Why the hell would you even suggest that!? We are Gaurdians we are not supposed to interfere with mortals so explicitly, and we certainly aren''t allowed to do mass exterminations like that! Not to mention, those are living things, have a consciense!" So? I don''t particularly care. That kind of thing like caring about mortals is too much work. Plus, if it works it doesn''t need to be changed right? Not to mention...I don''t owe those greedy b*****ds anything. As I contemplate telling him this, another Guardian interrupts, "I have a question! Can I expect a promotion if I do well?" I sigh as I hear this, no shit you''re going to get a better ranking if you perform well. Rookies are so annoying, but I will take advantage of this momentary distraction to tactically withdraw (run away) from this unfavourable (too much thinking required) situation. I hear Courage shouting "Don''t you dare!" as I quickly make a portal and go back to the safety and quietness of my home. Chapter 2: Home Now in his home he felt safe and relaxed. It was a regular cave with the typical set-up you would expect from a cave. Nothing to impressive. Other than the timeless feeling it gave of, and the violent river of raw energy flowing in front that would shred a weaker being and annilhate their soul. Oh and how could he forget the piles of wealth inside the cave, what with brilliantly shining God''s Metal, World Cores, a couple old Universe Cores, several piles of currency worth more than the net worth of the average Guardian in the top 500. Yup, nothing too special. However, despite wanting to immediately go to sleep he understood that he had a job to do. Sadly. So, with great reluctance he prepared to get started, pondering how to even start and go about this, not a difficult task if he was honest. That, however was on the premise that he didn''t have to keep the fragile mortals alive. Or at least keep the survival rate high, perhaps 1% would be a good number? Either way, before he started he would have to take stock of what he had to work with. While he had a high rank, it also meant a larger territory consisting of more worlds coming under his jurisdiction and having to be managed by him. Moreover, he had quite the large number of 10th rank worlds, nearly a million. He understood of course that the 10th rank worlds would need the least work to deal with. After all, this ranking took into account the size of the world to some extent, but more importantly the quality. In other words, these higher rank worlds were abundant with natural resources, especially large quantities of mana or qi or spiritual energy, or whatever the residents called it. In fact, the rankings went from the lowest 1st rank all the way to the 10th rank. After that, would be realms, than planes, and finally the highest was the Origin Plane. It was the first plane to exist, which while not seeming impressive to the ignorant, the more knowledgeable knew that universes were more like little villages, with worlds being the residents. Above that were cosmorials which following the metaphor would be like cities, and territories which were esentially like countries or kingdoms as some preferred to consider. Going back to the original point, more resources meant easier and faster ascension. Summing it all up in his head he decided to start with the 6th rank worlds, as frankly nobody cared about worlds less than that. They were pretty much just regular worlds with nothing particularly impressive, souls who performed well in these worlds would reincarnate into higher ranked worlds all the way until they were born in a 6th rank world. Here going to a higher ranked world was a monumentously difficult task, the standards for going up a rank to a better world were much higher and nigh impossible to complete. Of course, new souls were created and constantly flowed into other worlds, even directly starting in a cosmorial. Unfair? Yes. But so was life. Anyway, this meant that the higher ranked worlds were not desolate or lacking in population. Still, he considered the many ways he could go about this and concluded that making dungeons like some worlds already had as well as a system to help mortals understand their strength and motivate them to grow. All of the worlds would get one! Except cultivators. Offcial reason? They didn''t need it. Real reason? He hated those arrogant and presumptuous little shits. Really it wasn''t spite or because they had offended him or anything! Ok, maybe it was. HOWEVER! He was a super powerful entity and he could do whatever the hell he wanted so that''s that! Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences. To the lab! To start with he took a random dungeon core from a fantasy world that already had them and blessed it, before pouring ridiculous amounts of mana into it and promoted it into a Dungeon God, than he imprinted all the information he needed to be a good Dungeon God into his soul. From making dungeon cores, to how to make an impregnable fortress of certain death, how to make the perfect orc (special knight play edition), even how to cause mass genocide! Next, you must repeat steps 1 to- wait what!..."I have been watching too many cooking shows..." he muttered to himself as he continued to casually mass produce Dungeon Gods. Now that that was done, he needed to go and create a system for his entire territory, a monumental task normally, but seeing as how he was going to blatantly copy ideas from other worlds with pre-existing systems all he needed to do was spend the energy nescessary. Settling down he proceeded to construct the system and carefully weave its foundations into the laws of his territory. *100 million years later*
System Installation Complete, Please Stand By
Finally, after a long time he had finished! His entire territory was now governed by this system! Now he could sit back and do nothing! Relax until the end of time! Never work again! .....As if. As a Gaurdian he still had plenty of work to do. Though now that he thought about it he had missed (skipped) a few (quite a lot) meetings during his serious work session. Not that he cared. The only reason he had even showed up last time had been, because one of his comrades form the E.V.B.F.G. had told him that something important was happening. So he had shown up. While on that train of thought...he had missed the E.V.B.F.G.''s meetings as well. Oh well. So sad. Boohoo. Yup, how refresh-depressing. It wasn''t like he was ashamed of being connected to those insufferable perverts or anything... All of a sudden he noticed a cultivation world about to connect to the system. Yeah no. Perhaps he should go down and do his regularly scheduled cleansing of these cultivation worlds? Perhaps cause a couple calamities? Empower the devil cultavators so that they go and slaughter each other causing a massive war of mutual destruction? Directly destroy their worlds? That last one seemed a clear solution, but than he wouldn''t be able to entertain himself by making them suffer anymore...just as he was considering a decent method to tortur-play with the cultivators he remembered his subordinates. It had been a while...his subordinates were the only individuals who he cared about so naturally he wouldn''t be lazy when it came to them. Consider yourselves lucky cultivators...
A certain cultivators POV *Achoo* was somebody thinking about me? Oh no, I feel a strong calamity coming! I must prepare myself to weather the storm! Time to intiate the emergency plan! "You there! Junior! Quickly, intiate plan Z-niner-niner" Haaaaa Hopefully, this plan will produce another heaven shaking genius! After all, throwing a lustful and perverted young master into some poor village with a conveniently placed beautiful female sleeper agent posing as a childhood friend to a random untalented youth never goes wrong! HAHAHAHA! I am the true Dark Hand!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA! Chapter 3: Subordinates #243 casually stretched his neck as he relaxed in his office at the headquarters of the most mysterious organization in existance. Even in the Origin Plane this organization was an enigma, one that would kill almost anyone if payed enough...and right now he being chewed out by his subordinates. "You shitty boss! Do your damn job! And at least show up every once in a while!" Yes, he was the actual founder and head of this organization. He was supreme!!! "And also even if you became the boss by sheer accident-" Damn it, my delusions have been shattered! At least let me daydream a little longer... "-you still have responsibilities!" The one yelling at me was actually a demon. The standard obsidian horns with pale skin and a scary expression. Very scary. Because she was holding several stacks of paperwork. That is not okay. That evil a-a-abomination is not allowed here! Don''t you know I hate paperwork! "Now these here are the reports that have been piling up for a while and I need you to go through all of it and stamp here, here and here. Also, a mana imprint here, here, and here" Gah, quickly picking up the stamp I randomly stamp everything with the founder''s seal of approval. It''s nothing too magnificent, a dull gold and the usual shape with the actual stamp being in the shape of a serpent biting it''s own tail As for a mana imprint...that was okay too, but the last spot she had indicated was clearly the surface of a special tool used to fake mana imprints...how sneaky. To dare try and con me like that...I''m so proud! *sniffle* My teachings were not in vain! Someday, perhaps all of my subordinates will be professional con-men/women! Just like their foster father, the great me! Yup, they even all almost as good looking as me! Almost. For example this demon here was a real beauty, with black eyes, black hair, and of course breasts! Of course I, being as old as I was could care less about what someone looked like, instead I simply made observations. Unless they were a cultivator...or paper. Those two types must die and usually after being heavily insulted!!! "Haha, nice try" I said as I finished stamping and putting mana imprint on everything, except the special tool known as a Counterfeiter. "And here I thought I would be able to embezzle funds..." Sighing disappointedly she continued, "Oh well, I''ll try again next time." Ahhhh, this was so much better than that meeting! Talking with mostly like-minded people who understood him was so much more comfortable! However, exactly because they were similar to him, it caused him much suffering...
*Earlier today*This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report. He radiated an imposing atmosphere as he tore open the void to travel to his subordinates location, void travel was of course not to be confused with space-related movement. They were in fact, quite different, not only was travelling through the void much harder, but it was faster as well, since the void was omnipresent and the concept of distance didn''t exist there so all he really needed was to know where to come out of the void. Which was still confusing since distance didn''t exist, and it would require using a different spell to mark the location where he wanted to come out and maintain it or risk appearing far off course. Not an exciting prospect for him, and even the mana required for a jump across this distance was far beyond the reach of any normal entity. However, regardless of his impressive qualifications and power, he still felt slight anticipation. After all, now that he could finally meet his subordinates again, he felt happy, and yet looked forward to seeing how they may have changed. Although all of these thoughts seemed to take time he had only spent a fraction of a second to think this fast and had just arrived at his destination. When he looked around he felt slightly disappointed as nothing much had changed...the headquarters still looked like a massive fortress, there were thick walls to block any attacks and a city built inside the walls of the fortress. It was an impressive city with large buildings that had plenty of extra space and he felt much better when he noticed that things had changed! The previously sparsely populated base was now full of residents! Many residents going about very ordinary lives, some training, some making poisons, others heading out on missions....Yes, these residents were all trained professional killers who had passed rigorous tests to be allowed in here. It was after all a secret headquarters for an organization that was excessively paranoid. But! To him, they were all very promising young minions! One day...he would hunt down and exterminate all papers!!! *cough, cough* Anyway, the more he looked the more he appreciated, as the city had gained the previously lacking facilities! There were blacksmiths selling their equipment, alchemists with potions and poisons, restaurants, even some carpenters selling furniture for houses! He felt quite proud as he looked down on the city...right up until they saw him and started firing various deadly, and poisonous projectiles. WHAT THE HELL!? I"M BEING SHOT AT BY MY MINIONS! Just as he was about to discipline these youngsters he noticed his second-in-command (a certain demon) stealthily watching the proceedings while laughing...oh dear. These youngsters REALLY needed to be taught a lesson. Thus, he did the most heinous act of vengence he could...dropping some nude statues of...some creepy old men (cultivators) who had been petrified after being caught in a trap he''d left behind a while ago. Hmph, just like catching wabbits in wabbit season, a random piece of trash from his storage in a creepy cave with a strategically placed coffin and they practically jumped into the trap! He kept such eye poisons for just such an occasion (actually he hadn''t known they were there until he checked his spatial storage while looking for tools of revenge as usually he just dumped everything in the area into his storage without checking). Laughing evilly as the assasins ran away and covered their eyes he felt as if he had vindicated himself. "HAHAHAHAHAHA" This is so damn hilarious! It''s almost going too well...shit. A random assasin just vomited on the now not-so-amused demon.
*Present time* Unfortunately, his second-in-command, had held a grudge even after taking a shower and using disintegration magic and had taken revenge by giving him so much papaerwork to do. There was proabaly more in store...both revenge and paperwork. As such he felt quite worried. Haaaah. There was nothing he could do other than apologize which obviously wasn''t happening, so all he could do was hope it wasn''t too bad. Such as that time she had dumped sand on his scales. It had gotten stuck between the scales and had taken forever to clean... Still, he felt that it was worth it as sometimes...sacrifices must be made...for stupid reasons...Well, the mortals did it all the time, so why couldn''t he do it? Now then..."Gather the rest. We have an important meeting" Chapter 4: The Dark Guild Gathers After hearing my command, my dependable and vindictive second-in-command left to gather the rest of the upper echelon. Actually, my second-in-command, Jezebeth wasn''t the one with the highest authority. The other top brass of our organization were technically not weaker than her. The reason that she had managed to secure the position was simply a matter of efficient resource allocation. Jezebeth was a capable leader while the rest took the positions that they were most suited to. This is boring I thought...I relaxed and stretched my body as I slowly considered my plan. No matter how great the system I had made was...it was still incapable of showing results so fast. Not only would the mortals have to slowly research it to understand it, they would still have slow growth rates unless they were the kind of people who would charge at danger for a chance to grow stronger. The kind who would descisvely take risks and kill in cold-blood to get power. As for the trash who were to cowardly or stuck on their foolish morals? They could just become experience points for the rest as far as he cared. No wait! The system is based off of the games some mortals had made right? So couldn''t he just imitate what happened in those games? Make a tutorial and even provide extra rewards for acheivements! After all, if they got used to the concept of effort = reward than they would fit into the Origin Plane just fine. Mainly, because the Ascended were going to be recruited by the various factions to use as soldiers, so such a mentality was useful... Another thing he needed to do was make it common knowledge that it was possible for worlds to advance in rank. Actually, even before installing the System this was quite easily possible. A world would gather experience in the form of ''records'' and eventually it could upgrade a rank. It would make Ascension easier if they were in a higher ranked world after all, so it would be useful if this information was spread. The greedy mortals would of course strive to acheive this and in the process create stronger individuals. Quality of quantity was a rule that all factions followed. They might relax the requirements if needed, but for the most part it was a difficult process to get into good factions. Actually, since he himself possesed a rather significant position in a faction he could act as a talent scout to directly poach good talents. The only problem was that race would have to be considered. His faction would only allow other dragons, demons, or angels and perhaps elves. Humans and dwarves were a big nono. This situation had developed due to the politics of the Origin Plane. A good start would be- *knock knock* "Hey idiot master I brought the rest" Immediately after saying that Jezebeth came in along with the founding members of Ouroboros, the great dark guild. My dark guild. Heh, that felt good. I carefully scrutinized my subordinates as they filed in and casually took a seat on the various furniture in my office.This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience. The Record Keeper and Researcher of my guild, Hecate the elf. She had pale skin from staying out of the sun too long, sky blue eyes and a flat chest. Nobody mentioned that to her face though, not unless they wanted to become her new lab rat. I shuddered as I recalled what had become of the poor sap who had most recently had the honor of being her lab rat... Her duties were the same as her job title as she kept records of everything important and led research. As well the ''Keeper'' part referred to defending the library and the accumulated knowledge within as well as strictly controlling information flow of said knowledge. Couldn''t have a newbie throwing around forbidden spells they couln''t control or losing the book they borrowed. Anyway, her black robe with elegant purple embroidery gave of a distinct impression of a scholar. The Executioner and Jailer were twins, they were short angels with traits that most angels seemed to have...blond hair, and the obvious wings. The only way to tell them apart was the Executioner''s emerald green eyes and the Jailer''s blood red eyes. From their 12 wings it was obvious that they were in the top echelons among angels and they wore white armour that covered almost everything except their heads. The helmets were held in their armpits exposing their cute faces with some baby fat still on them causing them to look like they were 10, though anyone who knew their bodycount certainly wouldn''t find them adorable. Well outside of their fellow guild members anyway. The Executioner, Michael eliminated traitors and that was about it. Of course was also the vice-commander of the city gaurd. The Jailer interrogated prisoners and kept them in jail. A difficult job if the imprisoned were generally dangerous individuals. Still, little Cassiel did a great job. Cassiel the Jailor had a nice ring to it in his opinion. The Punisher Hunter was a tall demon with an almost nonexistent presence who specialized in tracking and epsionage. Tracking down designated targets like traitors or survivors from failed assasinations. Even those who had proven to be too slippery to find by regular assasins were dealt with by her and the Hunter Corps. A unit of elites who did the same job as Lilith. She wore a mask all the time and a loose cloak so nothing about her could be distinguished. Actually she was a vampire, but quite a few species came under the umbrella of demon. On that note even in cultivation worlds, the humans idiotically referred to all monsters who reached a certain stage of power demons...however, the sheer number of humans who called these races demons caused the identification to stick. Nowadays, whether you were a demon or not was a complicated question due to the wide range of demons...at least there weren''t any smart asses trying to get philosophical about it. Oh right! Lilith has her own subordinates and now that he thought about it...didn''t the others have that too? The Executioner was the vice-commander of the city guard so whether or not he had subordinates was obvious. The Jailer...he did have guards who worked under him, but they weren''t really his subordinates. Well, they kind of were. The Record Keeper was complicated...she didn''t have any people taking orders from her, but there were some fellow librarians who often sought guidance from her. In my city, even librarians were bloodthirsty archmages...heh...I dare someone to pick a fight with us. It might be entertaining. I turned to look at for the rest of them. Some of them were missing and I immediately felt worried as the top brass of Ouroboros, these super powerful individuals...were just cute kids to him as he had taken them in when he had passed by their orphanage. Turning to his loyal sub- no children, he asked, "Where are they...? Chapter 5: Problems "They umm...well...it''s just-" Jezebeth stumbled through her reply as the twins chimed in. "They went to kill some random troublemakers!" So it''s not a problem? They''re okay? Whew, I was worried there for a bit. Thankfully, they are not actually in trouble. "Well, that''s fine, I was just worried that it was something serious..." "Actually, it was serious though? I mean I''m pretty sure assailaints of that level aren''t merely random troublemakers..." This time it was Lilith who spoke, and I had to agree...if Lilith considered them to be strong they certainly weren''t random troublemakers, after all, she was supposed to make accurate reports without taking personal opinion into account. If she did that, she would probably tag everything as ''a mere annoyance'' or ''slightly troublesome''...the enthusiasm was appreciated, but what if a weaker fellow took the targets strength to be that low? They would be screwed. Very much so. "Well, in that case I don''t need anymore information, it''s probably those idiots from the, *ahem* ''God Slaying Sect'', really, there should be a limit to arrogance. They can barely deal with some shitty weak as hell gods and they still act so pretentious...f**king cultivators." "Um, we know you...errr...dislike...cultivators, but-" "No, I already had reports on this before. Those idiots are too greedy, trying to swallow up my territory. What is that saying cultivators always use...? Oh, right! Not knowing how high the heavens are and how vast the earth is! Opening a lion''s mouth!!" I cut off Jezebeth as I pointed out that I knew what I was talking about. Though, maybe I should properly do my job more often so these kind of doubts on my credibility don''t happen? Nah, because my adorable twins will always love the great me, their father, yes? Hm, hm, I am so smart... "Than, what should we do now?" Jezebeth asked confused. "Well, obviously I will tell you my super amazing plan!" "I''m already cringing..." Hey that hurts! "So, since we are already a massive organization in the dark, I propose we start moving ''in the light'' as well. I plan to establish branches of our build in my territory, with this I can quickly complete my task!" "So you are using Ouroboros to raise some mortals?" Jezebeth sounds annoyed... "Err, well it''s fine I mean we had to start making steps to publicize our organization sometime or other anyway so I mean it''s only natural to start in my territory"Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings. Also, I will use this to poach talents and send them up to my faction, I do after all owe what''s-his-face and what''s-her-face, so I can pay up my debt. Being in debt is hard...can''t tell them that... "We can recruit talents to Ouroboros much more easily if we do this!!!" "I smell something fishy.." Damn it Hecate!!! Couldn''t you stay quite for like a little longer! Wait, that expression...she planned thissss!!!!!! Gah, the age old saying has been proven true!! The quite ones are always the culprit!! Snakes are worse than tigers!! And some other saying!!! "Are we gonna kill the bad guys?" Daaaaawww, my cute little Michael is so adorable!! "Of course! Come here, father shall teach you how to skillfully insta-kill anyone!" Haha, who doesn''t love a cute angel who loves massacre! Literally! "Now...we need to deal with the ''God Slaying Sect'' and make an example of them...hehehe..." "Somehow I feel bad for those guys now...." Hey! Stop making it sound like I''m a cruel, vindictive, evil- let''s not keep going...what the hell!! Why are all of you nodding in agreement! Oh wait, Michael and Cassiel didn''t betray me. Indeed...kids are the most trustable, adults are all evil!!! *Sniff* I''m going to go hide in my ev...lair... Crap I am a bad guy...oh well, being evil is fun! Less, rules and I don''t even have to act a certain way! Like those idiots in armour doing publicity stunts! As for this ''God Slaying Sect''...let''s kill them painfully and leave their corpses. Oh right after stripping them of anything valuable...do they still use gold fillings...? I can just take those... "Alright, we will start mobilizing our forces and move out!"
??? Pov Ahhhhh! What is this! It hurrrttttsssss! Someone...someone save me!!!! I don''t want to die! I''m a genius! I am the Heaven''s Chosen! I killed a Celestial Immortal before...so why!? Why are these...people...no, monsters so strong!? How, how, how!?!?!?!?!? Huh? What''s that sound..? Huh, that blur is a- 3rd Person Pov A black-clothed figure casually walked out of the forest and into the clearing. It paused before it casually walked up to a fallen corpse and pulled a dagger out of it''s forehead. It''s figure seemed to flicker in and out of existence... Suddenly a 2m tall silhouette appeared beside the other figure and threw a head beside the other corpse. It''s ominous black and purple full-body armour gave off a bloodthirsty aura causing the surrounding forest to be completely emptied of animals. Most living things had died from the sheer oppression of the armoured figures aura... It''s eyes seemed to flicker through the horizontal slit on the helmet, as it spoke in a voice that sounded distinctly masculine with a cold and rumbling tone. "My prey was dealt with first..." The other figure seemed smaller, only at 1.7m yet it spoke without any fear in a apathetic gender-neutral tone as it replyed, "It doesn''t matter as long as the job is done." The taller one simply chuckled and turned around, "Get moving I heard that Father is coming back." The shorter figure didn''t reply and simply continued at its leisurely pace. *4 hours later* Suddenly an old man with wizened white hair and a beard appeared in the clearing and stared at the corpse... "I was late. But, who could have killed them so quickly? I have not heard of any powerful experts in this area...could it have been a supreme expert who likes travelling? No, if it was, they would not kill without reason, and they certainly should have been smart enough to avoid offending such a figure...could it be the master of the neighboring realm? Yes, of course! It must be! It seems that he must have invited a powerful expert! Indeed, they must have ambushed these elders! After all, it is impossible for my God Slaying Sect to fall short in quality!" Seemingly, having found the answer the old man quickly disappeared and the clearing descended into silence... Chapter 6: Mission, Start! As I watched the members of Ouroboros gather I gleefully imagined the destruction and chaos that I could cause. The violence and mayhem...hehehehe, I will-no stop that! Ugh, my old habits and urges are acting up again... I remember those days...I was...a troublesome element to say the least, rampaging and randomly destroying things, eventually I regained control of myself after some old friends of mine intervened and I decided to retire from my old position. It wasn''t one that somebody could just take-over though, so if it is needed I will resume my duties...I would rather not though. Being a Guardian has it''s perks and not having to think up a new identity was certainly helpful. As a Guardian it''s easy to find entertainment, mortals never cease to do silly and entertaining things. Going into isolation as a hermit, well, the only time pass would probably be to take really looooong naps or something. Not particularly appealing as even if I''m lazy it doesn''t mean I don''t get bored... Meanwhile, Ouroboros had been an accident. A funny series of events really. All I did was take a couple orphans with me and raise them for fun, but they ended up founding Ouroboros as they gathered more people around them. By now, I wonder whether I shouldn''t just go hide in some remote plane and do it all over again. And yet, I feel a strange reluctance and attachment to these kids. I suppose that''s only natural once I took a break from my old life of continuous slaughter and actually allow myself to ''care.'' Originally I never had the patience or time for such things...mayhaps I''m actually one of those idiots that I''m always calling others...why else would I do this? It wouldn''t be hard to find other means of ''entertainment.'' "Hey ''Guild Master'' we''re ready." Jezebeth is really sarcastic with the ''Guild Master'', not a good sign. According to my "How to Spot a Conspiracy for Dummies" by, well, me, it seems they are plotting my downfall. I should make counter-measures! "Hey!" Oh, right. "Hi, what''s up" *Thud* In response Jezebeth kicked me in the head. That didn''t hurt much. Though how strong is she now...to be able to exert so much force, she must have gotten quite strong when I wasn''t looking! "*Ahem* Greetings, I am the Guild Master, and today- screw it. I suck at speeches! So basically, we are going to destroy some sect! It''s nothing much, but you guys are all coming since you need experience in fighting large battles like this! Also, we will don some uniforms and adopt a fake identity while doing this and proceed to usurp the target''s land! It''s only a realm, but seeing as we are going to pretend to be a different group and do this it''s mostly for establishing some reputation! Now let''s go and kill stuff!" """CHAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGEEEEE!""" And the glorious army of 390,000 burst through the rift that had been opened for transport... HEY! What the hell, wait for me! NOOOOOO! I want to kill stuff tooooooo!...at least they put on the uniform?
3rd Person POV It was a sunny day in the Plains of Doom, called such as the owners of the land, the God Slaying Sect had declared it a no trespassing zone and rule breakers were rewarded...with torture and a public execution. The God Slaying Sect disciples were wandering around harvesting medicinal herbs and killing demon beasts, and they were quite noticeable in the bright red robes with golden embroidery. "Hahahahaha! The Heavens are fair! I, Yours Truly have gotten what I deserved! Naturally I am supreme and shall crush all others beneath me! With this supreme expert''s inheritance I will rise through the-" Those were the last words of the disciple as a massive rift opened right above him and an army of cloaked and masked figures burst out of it. They had purple robes with the symbol of a black sun on it and white, featureless masks, only two eyeholes were present, and they fell on top of the disciple. He was crushed into a meat patty under the deceptively light looking figures. Before long the army burst out of the hidden valley that they had arrived in and swarmed across the plains, like a purple shadow enroaching upon the world, they charged and easily felled the diciples. Not long after the army of nearly 400,000 had swept past, ony barren land with the occasional red splotch was left behind...Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author''s consent. Report any sightings. A thousand kilometers away, the God Slaying Sect had already rung the alarms and the sound of bells rang out into the surroundings and countless disciples gathered on the top of hill that was just ahead of the sect and prepared for battle. Their much larger numbers of nearly 10,000,000 disciples and hundreds of elders seemed to give them the confidence to fight any foe. Unfortuneatly for them, although the Sect leader had been correct in assuming that the seemingly small and weak enemies were a calamity, he gravely understimated the strengh of the threat. Still, this was unknown to them and the elders in their fully golden robes were ready to claim the ''easy'' war merits and buy resources. The Supreme elders in their golden robes with black embroidery sat in meditation and the foolish disciples had eager faces for the merits they could earn by killing these ''slightly skilled rebels.'' "Senior Brother, I will deliver all the heads I collect to you, but remember our deal, ok? You will be my backer in the sect!" "Un. With this I will be able to collect the Sky Shattering Pill and use it to break through, so rest assured that I will fulfill my end of the bargain..." "Yes, I-" *Bang* Suddenly, the sound of a drum rang out. *Bang, Bang, Bang" Quickly the disciples got into formation and the elders formed up behind the supreme elders. """KILL!!!""" "THINK OF SOMETHING ORIGINAL AND CATCHY YOU CULTIVATING RETARDS!!!!" The loud voice that cause the supreme elders faces to change came from a massive nearly 1,000 meter long black dragon with a pair of truly massive wings almost triple it''s length. It was 300 meters tall and it''s malovelent reddish-black eyes radiated a murderous intent that caused a large majority of disciples to simply keel over as their hearts stopped. "RAMPAGE AS YOU WISH! EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF! LAST ONE TO GET A THOUSAND KILLS IS A NOOB!" With that the dragon entusiastically threw itself into the battle...literally. Another 300,000 disciples were crushed into blood mist under its weight and a casual fire breath from it''s mouth incinerated another 1,000,000. It prepared to fire a more destructive breath attack when a hammer made of earth appeared out of nowhere and smashed it''s mouth shut. A robed figure''s anoyed voice rang out, "leave some for us!" And thus, the poor fools hearts that had seen hope in the form of a hammer fell even further into the pits of despair... Hecate POV Our mas-no, father, ahd idiotically ruined the fun for us and killed almost 3,000,000 before the rest of us had even reached the battlefield...good thing I had reached on time and smashed his mouth closed...otherwise there wouldn''t have been any enemies to play-no, experiment-no, fight, yes, that''s the one. I wonder if cultivators react to certain chemicals and magic the same as we do? I never did get any cultivators as test subjects, perhaps I should take this opportunity to catch some? I easily captured a 1,000,000 disciples using my self-created Realm Jail, it was an artifact that I was quite proud of...I had had to work with Ragnor for it, but it was worth it. Typically, an artifact was just a really high-ranked equipment or item, and this Realm Jail certainly qualified, it could create a seperate relam inside to imprison and store whatever I wanted. Now with this I should be fine, next perhaps just kill some elders?..................that was disappointing. I killed them too easily. I captured some too, but I had already killed 100 elders, theywere too weak! A mere firestorm was enough to kill so many? How boring...I should go see if supreme elders from this sect are any better... 3rd Person POV The tide of purple-cloaked assasins rushed up the slope and despite their profession as an assasin they experienced no disadvantage against these lesser enemies, shredding them into pieces with fast sweeps of their swords and dodging the cultivators attacks with minimal movements. Some of them had detached and started simply bombarding the cultivators, blowing them to bits with gore spraying everywhere, yet the attackers clothing and masks remained untouched due to the enchantments on them. None of these assasins had the slightest trouble dealing with the fellows who sought to target the ranged and ''vulnerable in melee'' aggressors, simply switching to daggers or swords and smoothly killing of their foes. Most attacks were blocked with magic barriers or some chose to simply crush these atacks head-on. The purple tide seemed to eat into the red ocean, clearing a path and paving it with blood and guts, no assasin would have much problems dealing with this level of violence. Not the veterans that had gathered here anyway. The disicples were not so lucky as many were greenhorns and they vomited or lost their will to fight in the face of this massacre. It was so cruel that most of the elders had tryed to run away, however since all of the runners were killed anyway the survivors gathered up to at least bring some of the enemies down with them. It was a foregone conclusion though as by now only a couple hundred thousand disciples were left, 100 elders, a single supreme elder, and the bloodied sect leader who had lost an arm. These weakened survivors were faced with a mostly undamaged army who had only suffered 1,000 casualties with all of these having only been injured and teleporting back to base when they became involved in a dangerous situation. The two sides faced off, and than with a frenzied, defiant roar from the cultivators and a silent charge by the invaders they clashed one last time...