《Scarlet Moonlight Princess Doki Doki ~ Love Story in Another Life》


 Chapter One: Why?

    I''m at the rooftop of my school with my hands on the rails. A cool gust of wind blows pass, sweeping through my amazing silky red hair and I let it fly.


    With naturalness I bring up a hand and flick my hair coolly, bringing it back into its original neatness.


    I stare with somber eyes into the Manhattan skyline. The buildings are tall.


    "Mina sako arigato, k-k-k-kawaii!" The music seeps from my I-pod into my ears and I nod to it. Damn, Avril Lavigne is so bomb! Seriously, she is my idol. It would be great to meet her at a fanmeet or something.


    The roof to the door suddenly creaked open and out rushed two boys.


    "Scarlet-san! I made these bentos for you!" A blue-haired boy prostrated himself on the ground and placed a box of homemade food behind me like I was a shrine or something.


    "No, get your stinking food away from her!" The other boy, who was blond, also had a box. He looked shy and blushed and said, "if you may, please accept these chocolates. I personally made them myself!"


    I sighed, it was hard being so popular because all the boys wanted me. I was tall, skinny, had a nice sexy body, and was also smart! (I scored a whole 100 points on the SATS American Exam)


    I wanted my highschool life to be awesome but so many boys were stalking me like they were doing right now. Honestly, it can get very annoying.


    "Erick, Natsume, you both are too nice." I smiled politely and they both blushed. "But, I have aleady eaten lunch and consequently I am full. It would do well to donate those food to the local pantry. That way the hobos and disgusting people will have something to eat."


    Erick and Natsume were surprised. Erick quickly said, "Of course! I wouldn''t want Scarlet to get fat from overeating! But not like she can, because she has it very high metabolism. (This is true)"


    "Madam Scarlet is generous as always"Erick laughed. "I will do as you command", Erick said and bowed before leaving.


    Natsume stayed awhile longer.


    "You know Scarlet, many girls have confessed to me and written love letters. But I rejected them because I only have eyes for you. Scarlet, if you could only be mine, I would do anything!"


    It was no surprise that Natsume had a lot of fangirls. I hate to admit it but he was a little good looking. He was tall, athletic, and had cool icy-blue eyes that bore into you like he was very serious and not a playboy at all.


    Even Erick was very good-looking in a bad-boy type of way. He was always wearing cool leather jackets and even had a motorcycle.


    But there had to be a natural order to things. I was simply too sexy to date those two. In fact, I was so beautiful that I was featured on the front cover of Vogue Magazine as an incoming top model. If someone wanted to be my boyfriend, they will have to look like Brad Pitt or be a hot and young billionaire.This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.


    Unfortunately, Natsume did not fit either of these criterias. I liked his forwardness a little though, but that wasn''t enough to move my icy heart.


    Also, he has been getting a little clingy to me. I''ve already seen him two times today! It''s like hes been stalking me full time. Therefore, I had to reject him a little to tell him to stay away.


    "Natsume, I didn''t want to tell you this, but I already have a boyfriend. He goes to another school in the Bronx and he is a rapper. He is also very good-looking and very smart and strong and will be sure to beat up any guys who try to talk to me. I''m sorry but I''m sure you can find someone better than me." I smiled sadly and also sweetly. (I am such a good actress, I think I can a very famous movie star if I go to acting school)


    "W-what!" Natsume screamed out in despair. I don''t think he was taking this too well. He slammed his fist on the concrete floor and it bled. "This can''t be possible!" He got up and ran to the roof door, tears streaming from his face. "My life sucks! I''m going to commit suicide!"


    I shook my head in disgust. This was a common ploy that boys use to try to get you to pity them, but it was so pathletic.


    I just turned back around to look over the city. I lived in one of the highrises near Midtown, with each apartment costing nearly eight million dollars. Daddy was a businessman who worked in Japan so I lived all by myself. Yes, I was rich but I didn''t look down on the poor peasants. I was grateful for my wealth and privilege so I always donated a thousand dollars a month to charity.


    I felt a prescence behind me and I turned around. Was it another boy who wanted to confess his love? So annoying.


    I almost vomited at the sight that awaited me.


    It was a short and fat underclassmen with greasy black hair. He smelled like hasn''t washed himself in days! Nacho cheeto dust also dotted the area around his mouth, making it orange.


    But worse of all was the pimples. He had them everywhere! On his forehead, his nose, and even under his chin. And they were fresh ones too, bright red and extremely disgusting. He had alot of acne scars that discolored his already sickly looking face.


    Small beady eyes looked at me and his pudgy nose wrinkled and some snot came out when he spoke!


    "You.. you.. think you''re so good huh? Better than all of us?"


    He must have seen my look of disgust. I quickly smiled and said, "No, why would you think that?"


    I was nearly half a feet taller than him and if there is one thing I hated, it is short guys. Of course I thought I was better looking than him. And besides, he was creepy. Like, his voice was raspy and it smelled bad and he looked like he could be a school shooter. I actually see him sometimes in the hallways reading weird erotic novels on his phone and moaning to himself. What a loser. I should try to get away as quickly as I can or else I might catch a disease from him.


    "Shut up! Don''t lie to me!" He yelled, spitting and showing his yellow teeth. "You made my precious senpai want to kill himself!"


    "Senpai..?" I questioned. "You mean Natsume-san?"


    "Yes, it hurt", he said, clutching his rather large chests with a stubby hand, "when Natsume-kun didn''t return my feelings. But, I wanted him to be happy with someone he liked!"


    Well, I guess I''m happy that he is gay. It would bother me to no end if someone so hideous started stalking me.


    His small eyes narrowed even further (I don''t know how) and he glared at me. "You didn''t accept his feelings and now you even hurt him. Well, now you will pay for all you''ve done, beautiful Scarlet."


    He ran towards me. "No!" I screamed. "What are you doing!"


    He slammed against me into the railings and it buckled a bit. My body, while sexy, was fragile, and I couldn''t overcome the obese loser.


    "With you gone, I can comfort Natsume-kun and have him all the myself!" He crackled evilly and gave mea final nudge.


    I feel the railings collapse.


    Ah, I''m falling.


    I wish I wasn''t so pretty, rich, smart, sexy, and popular. Then this wouldn''t have happened to me. Also, I wished I met Avril Lavigne. Also, I''m sorry to Mom and Daddy and to all my fanboys, and..


    I hit the ground and my vision became black.

 Chapter 2: Knockin on Heavens Door

    "Scarlet-chan... Scarlet-chan..."


    Mmm... Who''s calling me?! So annoying!


    It''s not a schoolday today so I can sleep until 2:00. Wait a minute... I live alone right? That means, no one should be calling me.


    Unless it was a psychotic stalker who broke in!? Or maybe a panty thief!?


    But my apartment complex has top notch security: two kung fu masters and two real life ninjas were hired from India to protect the inhabitants from the peasants who try to scam our hard-earned money. One time there was a burglar who targetted an elderly couple on the sixty eight floor. He came at 2:00 AM, somehow got pass the desk security and got into the elevator. It went well for him until he got to the forty second floor... The entire elevator blackened and the CCTV became all static-y, you couldn''t even see what was happenning!


    The burglar was found in the morning passed out, and pinned up against the elevator wall with shurikans. He had been given an intense wedgie, so intense that his underwear was pulled up to his shoulders and pinned against the wall with shurikans too. The trauma report said he was inflicted with a roundhouse dragon kick to his tummy and had poison darts sticking out of his buttocks. The whole event was harshed up but everyone knew it was the doings of the elite security force...


    With such reliable security, there shouldn''t be a intruder in my room. Well, if it isn''t an intruder.. then maybe.. could it possibly be? Tears welled up in my still-closed eyes.


    "D-daddy... It''s been so long."


    But what awaited my eyes was not my beloved father who I only saw once a year during Hanukkah...


    It was a devishly handsome man who looked around my age. He was... perfect? He had seventy-two packs of abdominal muscles and two perky hardened breasts with ripe nipples.


    "Iyahhhh!" I screamed sexily. Hiding my face behind my hands, I peeked shyly out of the in-betweens of my fingers. "H-how did you manage to get into my room?!" I demanded with a shaky voice. Seeing those delicious muscles I assumed he had no problem beating all the security just to... get to.. me.


    Sigh, why do I have to be so popular?!


    The mysterious hunk rustled his gorgeous pink hair and stared at me with his golden eyes.


    "Seems like you were having a pretty good dream, huh, Scarlet-chan?"


    "B-"


    "Shh..." He put a tender finger against my rosy cute pink lips. "I don''t mind you calling me daddy," he said, winking.


    "Who are you, and why are you in my room?!" I demanded. He might be handsome, but who did he think it was, hushing me?! He should wait in line with the other millions of suitors.


    "Scarlet-chan, don''t be mad! Take a look around you... Is this your room?"


    I did as he asked and to my surprise... I was in the middle of the sky, literally!


    "Iyah!!!" I sceamed flailing my arms around. I''m going to fall! Speaking of falling... didn''t I just "fall" recently? That word seems to be triggering me. Suddenly, like I was hit hard in the head, memories came flooding into my head. I remember being pushed off of the roof by that obese gay-lo and subsequently falling to my premature death. I guess I wasn''t dead, since I am still alive?


    "Scarlet, beautiful one, don''t be afraid!" Strong, hardened, muscular arms wrapped them around me and my head fell onto a bouncy breast, a pointy nipple to the side of my cheek. "You are safe with me!"Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.


    "Hentai!~~ Get away from me!" I screamed.


    The man backed off and then I realized... he was totally naked!!!!!!!!!


    Noticing my intense burning stare, he looked down and said, "Oops, I haven''t had visitors for so long, I forgot to put clothes on. Silly me, tehe. Well, I''m not embarrassed, because this is but this one''s corporeal form, after all."


    Mist swirled into existence and covered his nether regions and nipples like a ghostly speedo and man bra.


    "Wha..." I squeuled in surprise.


    "You see, here in cloud kingdom, everything is made out of clouds!"


    I looked around and it was true: the fluffy bed, the floor, and even the clothing was made out of clouds. Upon looking around, I caught sight of my own body... I was naked?!?


    Steam began blowing out of my ears. I was angry as heck!!! I got up confrontationally and reached for my pepper spray... but it wasn''t there! Oh right, I had no clothes on. Usually it would be in the back pocket of my chic skinny jeans.


    Hispiercing golden eyes lured at my beautifully exposed body. "Mmmmm..." he moaned.


    "You dirty bastard!" Although I was not his match, it would be a disgrace to all women if I don''t give him a beating. "What did you do to me while I was having my beauty sleep?!"


    I rushed forward and prepared to slap him, but to my surprise he disappeared in a puff of smoke.


    "Over here!"


    I whipped around and saw that he was sitting on the bed now. "Haha, don''t be so angry, I didn''t do nothing while you were asleep! Here!"


    With a snap of his fingers cool mist began to form around my body, covering my ravishing breasts and captivating bottom area. We both were wearing the same things... it was like we were a couple! I blushed, hiding my face.


    "What do you want?! Money? My Otou-sama is very rich. He is one hundred and eighty eight on the Forbes Top 500. He will pay whatever you want, just don''t hurt me!"


    "Silly Scarlet, mortal wealth does not interest me."


    "Th..Then is it me you want?"


    His wolf-like eyes narrowed and he seemed to consider my question for a moment.


    "You surely are a one-of-a-kind beauty, mesmerizing, seductive yet elegant, sexy yet cute. Even for a god who should be immune to this kind of attraction."


    "You are a g-god?" I asked, my voice pouring like honey.


    "Yes, Scarlet. Yesterday at 11:39, you passed away after being pushed off the roof of the elite Stuyouran Highschool, a crime of passion." His eyes sparkled and he whispered, "Of course, the offendant will be properly punished when his time comes. As for you... you must be judged thoroughly. Right here, right now."


    "Humph," I said haugtily. "I''ve been a good person all my life so of course I''ll be judged goodly."


    With a flick of my scarlet hair I added, "And besides, whose fault is it that I''m so beautiful that I got killed!"


    The god pondered for a moment. "What you''ve said is true, and besides, I only judge the best out of the best people. I usually only judge once in a century. For example, I''ve judged Marilyn Monroe, Chester Bennington, Christina Grimmie, and Amy Winehouse."


    OH EM GEE! They are my heroes! Of course, they couldn''t compare to Avril Lavigne but my god were they good.


    "You had unlimited potential, you could''ve been one of them, been somebody..." He clenched his fist. "But you were taken before your time."


    I thought about all my fanboys, friends, and parents. They were probably so sad right now... and they wouldn''t even know how I died! Suddenly I felt depressed. But I must be strong, if not for my sake, then for theirs.


    "God, what are my options?"


    "God? You can call me Kirito-kun. From now on we are friends!"


    "Then Kirito-kun, what will happen from now?"


    He looked at me, his muscular thick arms crossed, his shiny eyes staring intensely into mine, as if he was reading my memories. He looked different... more serious and business-like.


    "Scarlet-chan, you''ve had incredible moral character for such a young lady. Always donating to those less fortunate to you... truly goodwill incarnated into perfect, sexy flesh. For your upstanding behavior you will be... sent to the cycle of reincarnation... into the just-released VMMORPG Doki Doki Magical World. You will turn into bytes of data, an NPC, in the eyes of others. But through this game, I hope you can experience all that was unfairly stolen from you. You will gain a second chance at life, where your amazing beauty does not mar you. This sentence is final!"


    Pink petals blew up, circling me and a pillar of light blasted down from the heavens onto where I was standing.


    "I''m afraid I won''t have long... I''ve used too much power. I must go rest again. Scarlet, it was my pleasure meeting with you. Until, next time!"


    I don''t know how to feel about reincarnating into a.. what? Some virtual reality game? It seemed like what those nerdy loser kids like fatso played. But then again, my superior upbringing taught me to always be grateful for what you are given.


    I gave a captifying smile to Kirito as he fell onto the bed, fast asleep.


    I turned upwards braced as the light grew brighter and brighter and my world started shaking.


    And then there was nothing.

 Chapter Three: Anything But Ordinary

    "Welcome to Doki Doki Magical World Online! The state of the art VRMMORPG brought to you by Whyett Games. You are AI 55269, allotted 2.5 perabytes of game storage. Your information is backed up in our secret headquarters in Antartica in Room VIP 10: Security Level Z."


    A monotone robotic voice gave this information to me as my once dark world erupted in small splashes of color.


    "As an AI, your purpose is to ensure quality customer experience. You will join a collective effort to provide a vibrant, fun, and realistic world to our dear players."


    "I''m not some artificial intelligence!" I complained. "I''m literally a goddess descended in human form. The amazing Scarlet!"


    The hateful voice ignored by protests and continued babbling its nonsense.


    "As an advanced AI V 6.53+ with superior cognitive functions, you are able to select your role. Your game experience will be analyzed to improve customer experience."


    A golden wheel appeared in front of me, much like a wheel of fortune, but with hundreds of options. It had several options blanked out. These were: Crafting Items, Quest Items, Monster Loot, Terrain Elements and the like.


    I laughed. Of course I can''t be reincarnated into those peasant items, someone as special as me should be anything but ordinary in my next life too!


    "Hmm... Player Familiar, Humanoid (Mob), and even Artifact (Sentient) don''t seem very good. I don''t want to be someone''s dog or an ugly goblin. And no way would I like being some wierd inanimate object."


    I considered the options for longer and using my intense intellect I was able to narrow down the options to only one: Human (Royalty).


    This will ensure that I can enjoy my next life like my last, free of worries except for my astounding beauty. I was worried that I might have to live like a plebian and grow patatoes and clean squatting toilets, but I guess not!


    "I choose Human (Royalty)!"


    "You are all se-" The robotic voice suddenly stopped, replaced by a different, human-like voice. It was teasing and masculine. Kirito-kun?!


    "Error. You are not an AI. Predetermined values have been imported and set. Tehe, do I sound like a robot?"


    The robotic voice returned.


    "Thank you for choosing. Your AI storage and memory will be cleared to maximize realism. Welcome to Doki Doki Magical World Online, Scarlett-chan, and may the odds ever be in your favor!"


    Oh my god, that''s what the makeup lady says in The Hunger Games! And I''m not an AI, but I guess it doesn''t matter. Swirling white particles surrounded me, rotating faster and faster until everything was white.


    "Spawning in Township of Mierdean. You are Human (Undetermined). You are sixteen (16) years of age. Your job is to-" An eerie screeching sound stopped the voice.


    "Error. Error. Job value is undetermined. AI backstory instance finished. Tutorial terminated."


    "Nani?!?!"


    I screamed out loud as I was dropped in some town square. How was I going to play this game without some tutorial? I wasn''t a nerd! I didn''t know how this wierd loser stuff worked, even though I scored a whole 100 on the IQ test!


    People wearing peasant midieval clothing looked at me wierdly. Were they astonished by my aestethics or because I screamed? I shouldn''t mind them, like, you should never give plebians any attention. They get so hopeful and start clinging onto you, when you were just being nice. Tch... so annoying!


    A stone fountain was to my right. I hate it, but I have to admit that this game was very realistic. You could see the individual cracks on the fountain and each spray of water as it gently wet your face. Not that this fountain was anything special, I''ve seen way better fountains before while touring Spain and Argentina.


    But onto important stuff. I stared at my reflection, and was mesmerized. Ah, it must be a curse to be this beautiful and sexy! Every morning I have to spend atleast five minutes looking at myself in the mirror. My scarlet hair glinted almost orange as the sunlight refracted the water.


    "Mama! Look, that girl. A goddess, like from the books!" A little boy pointed excitedly at me.


    I didn''t react at all.. I was too used to this treatment. The oogling and ahhing gets annoying after a month or so.


    "It''s rude to point!" The woman peasant scolded her kid, and they hurried along.The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.


    Now that I confirmed that I was still supermodel-level attractive, I need to see how much money I have. Luckily, I had a leather pouch convieniently attached to my side.


    Kirito-kun probably left me a fortune seeing that he liked me so much!


    I excitedly opened my sack up... and dropped it in surprise. 25 round brown coins with holes in the middle of them was all there was. Are these 25 pennies?!? I don''t know how the currency works in this world, but this must be a pauper amount! How dare Kirito do this to me?! I''m not his friend anymore!


    I sat at the fountain''s edge, dejected. I''m basically homeless now...


    The wind blew and a single leaf landed on the fountain''s water, creating a ripple. My reflection distorted and I clenched my fist.


    Yes, all I have is myself now. I disliked Daddy''s wealth in the first place. Everything I did felt like it was because of his abilities and not mine. My tutelage, class, status. It also kept him away from me, always trying to make more money. Money is awful! I hate money!!!


    The water calmed, as did my heart. But beneath the surface, I spotted glinty things. Curious, I took a closer look.


    M-money?! Who would throw away money into this dirty pool? Maybe rich people? I guess for disgusting poor people.


    Hmm... but aren''t I poor right now? It''ll be okay to accept their generousity, right? Right! And I love money! It''s my favorite thing in the world!


    Even when accepting aid, one has to be graceful and elegant. With a beautiful sweeping motion, I collected a fistful of coins and deposited them into my pouch, before repeating the action. Most of my findings were bronze and disgusting, but some glinted silver. Barely acceptable. I would rather find green jade, diamonds, or gold.


    Before I knew it, a crowd had gathered, whispering and gasping, some pointing at me. I was used to this amount of attention so I ignored it.


    But the crowd grew larger and larger, and now they were talking louder.


    "Such a beautiful girl... to the wishing well... unbelievable! I''ve never seen her before... Maybe she''s not around these parts?... Of course she isn''t... We would know if there was someone this gorgeous from Mierdean... Should we alert the guards?... I''ll feel bad!... Maybe she really needs it..."


    Huh. I couldn''t clearly hear what they were saying. I was almost done emptying the fountain of its welfare anyways. I''ll leave afterwards because I don''t want to be fined for causing a public disturbance, just because I was too mesmerizing to looking at!


    Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulders and heard a stern voice.


    "Excuse me, miss! What you are doing is unacceptable. The money from the wishing well is collected during the holidays to be distrubuted to the needy as alms! You have no righ-"


    I turned around to find myself face to face with a tall, decently looking middle-aged man. He wore a metallic unform with what looked like cheap leather. His neck-tag read: "Guardsman Moom-san."


    The guardsman did a double take and choked on his words. "N-no righ..t ahem! No right..to! ahem! Excuse me!"


    It seemed like I was in some kind of trouble. I don''t think what I was doing was wrong... I mean I''m basically giving myself, who was needy, the money! This way they don''t have to go through the trouble of wetting and dirtying their hands to collect these coins. Why was I getting yelled at? I shouldn''t be the villian here!


    But I knew these types well. I snickered inwardly.


    Blinking rapidly, I appeared flustered. Hot tears formed at the corner of my eyes. "I-i''m sorry... I ran away from... home... my parents wanted me to marry... this unknown... man... for money. Hiccup. When I met him... I saw that he was old and fat... and a loser, probably a nerd too! He wanted... to do inappropriate things to me."


    I took a deep breath and gave out another large sob. "So I ran through... the woods for days... I''m so hungry... had nothing to eat... but I didn''t have any money... and I didn''t know!" I burrowed my head into my arms and continued crying. Raising my head a tiny bit, I peeked at the guard with shimmering crystaline eyes.


    Moom''s face softened, full of compassion. "Sorry, miss... I didn''t know your circumstances!"


    "What a sad story! If the coins aren''t used for poor victims like these, then what better way can they be used?"


    "Right?! And she''s so amazingly pretty too! What a pity!"


    The crowd seemed to be in my favor too.


    "I will return the coins... It''s just... the bad scary man... has sent out hunters... to find me! Oh! I just need to pay my parents back what he paid for me so I can be free..."


    I opened the bag and began slowly emptying it into the fountain. A rough hand suddenly clasped mine. I looked up, acting surprised.


    The guardman stared at me, unflinchingly. "It is against the honor of a man to watch a woman suffer and do nothing! Take the coins. I will deduct what has been taken from my pay."


    I smiled inwardly. But outwardly I was unable to speak, shaking with emotion. "A-are you sure? This is a large sum of money!"


    "Don''t mention it. I can easily manage that much with my payrate."


    I reached forward and wrapped both of my sexy lithe arms around him. "Oh, thank you so much, Boo- I mean Moom!"


    His breath grew quick and uneven. Whispering so only he could hear, I mouthed, "Maybe, when I pay my dues... I can live with you?"


    He gulped and coughed out, "G-gladly!"


    Separating myself from his embrace, I waved widely at the crowd. "Thank you, township of Mierdean! I won''t ever ever forget this token of kindness! I will always keep it with me, here!" I gently patted my chest.


    I then turned around and fled, my leather pouch bulging at the seams. Better to disappear before they take back their offer!


    I finally stopped at the shadow of a worn down stone wall. Catching my breath, I wiped the sweat that had gathered on my head. God, I must look so sexy right now. I always looked the best right after a workout or out of the shower.


    "You have met the requirements and learned: Charm."


    The monotone voice caught me by surprise and interrupted the quiet. Ah! I almost had an heart attack. And what is Charm? How come I don''t feel any different?


    "Alert: There is one day (24:00) before the prophesized summoning will occur. Undying heroes from another world will be transported to this one en masse to bolster humanity''s forces against evil! This shall be the turn of the great war!"


    What is this?! I feel like something very important was just said. Undying heroes? Do they mean players? Well, I don''t really care, as long as they mind their own business.


    I need to find a place to sleep now. And some food would be nice. And I also need to plan for the future...


    The sun was setting over the town''s walls but mine''s was just beginning to rise.

 Chapter 4: My World

    I was hungry, so very hungry. I could probably eat some plebian food like disgusting McDonalds right now. Even though that would ruin my perfect supple yet skinny body.


    Sighing, I looked up at the cloudless sky illuminated by the yellow star, as I rocked back and forth from the back of a supply cart full of patatoes. I can''t believe I was using such a poverty-striken way to travel. I was used to stylish sleek cool limousines - my butler drove me to and from school in one everyday.


    I mean beggars can''t be choosers but I wasn''t a beggar. I was actually filthy rich! I had six silver pieces and seventy eight copper pieces. Probably atleast middle class. I wouldn''t stoop down to peasant class!


    "Miss Scarlet-chan! Are you alright back there?" An elderly man asked from the front of the cart.


    "Yes!" I lied. My body was aching all over from sleeping at the town''s gate yesterday. Yes, I slept outside, just like a homeless person! But so what? It''s not like I could''ve just went to an inn after taking so much money from the town. My rich upbringing disallows me to be so shameless.


    My tummy grumbled. Ah, I couldn''t just ask the old man for food after asking if I could hitch-hike. That would be asking for too much.


    "Just a while longer, we are half a days way from the capital."


    Still a whole half a day?! I don''t think I can hold it until then, my stomach is practically eating itself!


    Oh well, I guess I''ll just think of it as a fasting beauty regimine. I learned that if you fasted regularly, the fat that you gain afterwards could be easily shed. I could bear this hunger with these thoughts.


    "Say, what would such a young pretty miss want to do at the capital?"


    "Well, I want to attend the Magic Academy!" The old man seemed lonely so I decided to converse with him. Besides, he seemed pretty harmless, which was one of the reasons why I decided to hitchhike on his wagon. If he wanted to do something bad to me, I could probably overpower him and beat him up.


    "My, such a young girl, and you already have talent for magic?"


    "No, but I can learn!" I decided that in order to protect myself and make a living I had to pull myself up from my boostraps and take the intiative. I didn''t have daddy''s wealth or protection anymore.


    Magic is also so much safer than being a petty thief or wierd sword girl. For someone as elegant and highclass and sexy and cute as myself, I can''t be harmed in the frontlines. What if my amazing gorgeous face got scarred?!  I can only support with magic and give beautiful moral support from the backlines.


    "Scarlet-chan seems like a very smart young lady, I''m sure you are a fast learner!"


    "I sure am!" Little did the old man know, I have 100 IQ and scored 100 on the American SATS. I was basically a genius!


    SIgh, brain, beauty, and class, what didn''t I have? Hmm, I guess class and wealth right now, but that can be easily fixed.


    The old man slapped the two mules on the butt and they moved slighty faster. The rhythmic chopping of their hooves and the swaying of the carriage and my aching hunger eventually lulled me to a deep sleep...


    "NEIGH!!!"


    "What?!" I jerked awake. I never drooled in my sleep and I never have eye boogers so I was basically ready to go.


    "Bandits!" The old man screamed. The mules were in a panic, pawing the ground and looking wildly around. "The roads near the capital should be more heavily patrolled! What is happening?!"


    A dark mist weaved through the road to surround us and shadowy figures apparated in the distance to only disappear. "Don''t worry old man. It is the duty of the noblesse to protect the dirty plebians. I will protect you with my life!" I declared. "I know the skill Charm. How can I use it?" If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    "Scarlet-chan, everyone knows how to use skills. We were taught in the Dream of Birth when we were born!"


    "Yeah, but I hit my head and have amnesia!" I complained. "Hurry up and tell me, or we will get ambushed!"


    "Just think "S" in your head."


    "What? That doesn''t make sense!"


    "No, trust me. It''s the rule of this land. If you want to see your skill list, you have to think S!"


    I gave it a try, and to my surprise, a skill list really did appear! Well, it wasn''t that impressive because there was only one skill on the list.


    Charm (5 Mana)


    Passive: +5% success rate (Bewitching Magics)


    Active: Charm a subject, seducing them and causing them to walk slowly and harmlessly towards you.


    Instructions: Make yourself believe that you are the most attractive existance to ever exist. Saying "Charm," draw a heart with your hands and then push it at the subject.


    What?! I was offended! What is with this passive. +5% to 100% wouldn''t even make a difference, since 100% is already maxed! I don''t need it because I always hit my charm all the time. And also I don''t have to believe I am the most attractive existance to ever exist, because I technically am. I guess this skill was made for ugly losers, because I am the real deal!


    "Charm!" I shouted. I raised my hand and began outlining a heart. To my surprise pink glitterly aura followed my hand and when I was done, I had a perfectly-shaped heart. I guess it couldn''t be helped since I''m such a good artist.


    "Yah!" I screamed, pushing the heart right at the shadowy figures.


    "Plus one hundred fifty percent bonus duration due to execellent spellcrafting."


    "Plus twenty percent bonus effect due to excellent aim."


    The robotic voice notified me of my excellence and I wasn''t that surprised. I think I was getting used to it. Humph, of course I would be excellent at whatever I do. It''s just the way it is!


    I drew two more hearts and sent two Charms at the approching figures. This should be enough.


    Grabbing the old man, I yelled at him to run.


    "Wait! My patatoes and mules are still here. I can''t leave them!"


    "What is more important?! Your life, or your peasant food and lame animals that can barely walk!"


    "But.. I spent all summer growing those patatoes!"


    "Do you want to get raped?"


    "Raped?" He asked, confused.


    "Yeah, I heard lots of bandits these days have old men fetish. They love wrinkly bums."


    "Iyah!!!!!" He screamed. Hand in hand we began running off the main road and into shrubbery.


    However, the old man took too long dilllydallying and the clopping of the horses grew nearer and nearer. I turned around, and they were right at our heels.


    "Charm! Charm!" Two pink hearts shot forward but a dark metallic horseman absorbed it as it entered him.


    "Is he gay?!"


    Our running speed was no match for horses, and soon we were encircled, trapped.


    The old man and I clutched hands and sunk to our knees as the dark horseman, clearly the leader of the bandit group, got off of his horse.


    "Y-you bad bandit! D-don''t come closer!" The old man begged, but the dark horseman did not listen.


    The old man reached up to his shoulders and revealed a bare shoulder.


    "Do what you want to me... and my body!" He said tearfully. "But, please spare my granddaughter!"


    What! I am not your granddaughter! I would be ugly if I were. My genetics are top class! But I guess it was nice that he was willing to sacrifice himself for me. That''s what peasants should do, after all.


    The dark horseman began to crackle evilly while removing his helmet.


    Dark, shoulder length hair whipped backwards as he did a hairflip. Strong, somber eyes glazed into mine and he smiled with perfectly white teeth.


    OH EM GEE! What a hottie!


    "I''m not a bandit," the hottie said.


    "Yeah? Then why did you chase us? Was it.. because of.. me?" I gave him an appeasing look, smirking.


    The hottie did another hairflip.


    "Babe, I would chase on any other day. But today I cannot, because it is the day of the great summoning!"


    "The great summoning?" Ah, he must mean the notice I recieved yesterday about the heroes from another world!


    "Yes, we are the Revolution Army. We must shatter the central summoning crystal in the capital! Our comrades are enroute to shatter the lesser crystals in the countless border towns."


    "But why?" The old man grabbed the hottie''s collar. "They are going to be our saviors! We need them to stop the monster raids!"


    The old man was flung off.


    "That''s why you peasants are sheeple!"


    I agree with this hottie! Peasants are dumb like ninety nine percent of the time. That''s why only smart rich people like daddy make decisions.


    "Don''t you understand the implications of immortality? We''ve been doing fine against the monster raids! We cannot risk having a double-edged sword."


    I don''t really understand what the hottie was talking about, but his voice was so comforting. "I agree with you!" I declared.


    "One look, and I know you are of noblesse linage. I would hate for such a pretty girl to get hurt. I wanted to tell you to stay clear of the Capital. There is going to be bloodshed, today. For humanity."


    "For humanity!" The other non-bandit horseriders echoed.


    "If I make it out today alive," the hottie took my hands. "It would be the greatest honor to meet you again."


    "Wait!" I called out. "What is your name?!"


    But the hottie already left, gallopping towards the capital. I stared at his muscled butt as he rode his pony. God, he was so sexy!


    Suddenly! A beam of light smited down from the clear skies and the dark mist was dissipated!

 Chapter Five: Sippin on Sunshine

    Previously: Suddenly! A pillar of light ignited the atmosphere and cleared away the dark mist!


    "What is that!?" I screamed.


    In the distance, I saw a blondie standing on top of the Capital''s walls, raising a staff. Was she the one who made the pillar of light?


    "That''s Archmage Moomoo-chan! She''s the best mage we''ve got!" The old man was clearly a fan of her and was leering at her pervertedly. I smacked him in the head.


    Ugh, I hate to admit it but she was kind of pretty. She looked a bit like Hilary Duff, and had that California girl vibe to her. She was probably dumb, like a valley girl! I remember seeing the Miss America Contestants and they were all so dumb! I was so much prettier and sexier than them, and smarter to boot. I planned on attending the show when I turned eighteen and surprising everyone with my smartness, but I guess that''ll never happen now...


    Suddenly, I felt depressed.


    But then, I cheered up again!


    In the distance, horses charged into greet the Revolution Army. At the head was a knight in shining armor on a white horse... no seriously!


    He wasn''t wearing a helmet, and had dazzling blond hair that glinted like sand on a hot summer beach, much better than the dirty blond that Moomoo-girl or whatever her name was. He had a sharp jawline and nice kissable lips, and looked a little like Brad Pitt.


    OH EM GEEE!!! Another hottie?!?!


    The two armies halted and the leader hotties got off their horses to talk to each other.


    "Old man, let''s get closer! I want to hear what they are saying!?"


    "What?! No! It''s dangerous. What if they kill my mules. Pumpkin and Squash have been with me for years. I can''t let them die like this!"


    "Fine! I''ll go myself then!"


    I handed him a silver coin and began running to where the sexy hunks were.


    I''ve always been charitable and never stingy with my money. For example, I donated a thousand dollars to charity every month! I was a bit touched that the old man was willing to sacrifice himself to me, so I had to repay him somehow. Hopefully he can afford a better wagon with that money. The ride was too bumpy because the wagon was old and in need of repairing. Ugh, I hate peasant transportation! Never again!


    I was never physically very strong because I was delicate and stayed indoors and my model-like physique only had slim beautiful muscles. However, that didn''t mean I wasn''t fast at running. In fact, I won the New York State running competition for girls under 16! Also, I joined the NYC Marathon every year. It was nice running with peasants once in awhile.


    Running is also important if you want a toned butt and legs.


    "Huh, huh, huh." I wiped the sweat off of my forehead. I bet I looked like a water goddess right now, so sexy!


    The soldiers must think so too, because they were sneakily stealing glances at me while trying to pay attention to their leaders. Sigh, what ugly bonobos! Can''t you guys do your duty and control yourself?!If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it''s taken without the author''s consent. Report it.


    The two studmuffins finally noticed me as I neared and they turned around to look at me, dumbfounded at my graceful, ballerina-like running.


    I grasped both of their hands with my sweaty ones.


    "Guys! Don''t fight for me! Think of all the peasants who would suffer because of the rash decisions of us, the elite!"


    Gosh, I was like Helen of Troy. All these hunkies were willing to do anything for me, even go to war and fight to death! But I was a nice beautiful goddess, I''d feel guilty if anything were to happen to the plebians.


    "Mmm... Scarlet-chan, you smell nice!" The dark-haired emo-rock star hottie told me.


    I laughed onto the back of my hands like an elegant lady. "I''ve been told that before."


    "Kairos! Now is not the time to chat up some girls! What are you thinking, leading the reserved forces to the capital? Do you want to rebel against the King?!"


    "We aren''t going to fight, Moofasa. A sneak attack may have worked, but I cannot face a stand-off with the Royal Vanguard with my quality of troops. It would be a massacre."


    So the dark hair hottie is called Kairos, while the blond hair hottie is Moofasa. I dedicated these two names to memory, it was easy because I had superior memory compared to peasant folk.


    "Brotha... I know how you feel about the summoning. But why don''t we give these heroes a try? They are human too, just from another world."


    "I have a very bad feeling about this, Moofasa. I hope I''m wrong. I just wish we had some safeguards. By the way, how did you know that we were going to attack? Was there a double agent?"


    "No! It was Moomoo-chan. She has command over all the cows in the nearby pastures. We knew your every move before you even started moving." Moofasa pointed at the castle walls, towards a very large-breasted blonde.


    "I should''ve known!" Kairos did a hairflip.


    "Kairos-san, don''t feel too bad. If anything, the three of us should be enough to overpower any "heroes" who don''t play by the rules. But right now, the priority is to reclaim the olden lands from the monsters!"


    Kairos nodded, his sexy black hair bobbing up and down. "As long as I have your word. I must return to the outposts, I hear there is a goblin raid incoming."


    "Good luck brotha from another motha!" Moofasa saluted and Kairos departed with his soldiers.


    "I''ll be back in a month. I.. hope to see you then, so we can get to know each other better." Kairos whispered in my ears with a meaningful smile.


    "As long as I have your word," I chuckled.


    I waved goodbye as Kairos faded into the horizon. Damn, he has the best butt I''ve ever seen!


    Suddenly I felt a jab on my backside. It was sharp and hurt quite a bit!


    I turned around and met face to face with large boobs!


    "Iyah!!" I screamed. "Moomoo-chan!"


    "Huh, this whore already knows my name?! Then get your filthy hands off my man!"


    The big-boobie mage girl karate-chopped Moofasa and my hands, and they separated.


    "Babe, calm down. She was trying to help." Moofasa massaged Moomoo-chan''s shoulders and reassured her.


    Huh? Oh! I forgot to let go of Moofasa''s hands! But what a bitch! Just because I was so much prettier and sexier and cuter than her, she felt threatened.


    I get this treatment alot back in highschool. I didn''t have that many friends because basically every single guy in school was chasing after me and few of the girls had boyfriends, and the ones who did were extra poisonous towards me because they were always scared that I''d steal theirs.


    Not that I would''ve dated any of those losers, though.


    "Moomoo-chan, my sincere apologies." I did a curtsie, like a princess. "I did not understand the nature of your relationship with Moofasa-san. I''ll make my leave."


    It was always good to act courteous in front of guys, especially in front of their jealous girlfriends. They will see the difference of quality between temperment, and I already won in terms of looks, elegance, and class. Moofasa was too good to date Moomoo-chan anyways. She was only sort of pretty and had milk machines.


    "Wait, Scarlet-san!"


    I ignored Moofasa''s call and headed towards the gate. The sun beamed against the golden exterior, and it was bright, just like my future. I didn''t have time for this kind of drama, first I needed to ensure that I can survive in this new world.


    This was my second chance at life, and I''m not going to waste it.

 Chapter 6: Let Me Go

    I tapped my foot impatiently at the outside of the gates. Ugh! What''s with this line of peasant people?! WIth their disgusting patatoes and pigs and whoknowswhat.


    I was used to VIP treatment, I never had to wait on lines. When I flew around, I always flew first class and was always the first to get on board on the plane. Even when I went to DIsney World, I felt charitable and paid disabled kids to wait on line for me so I didn''t have to wait for the rides. It wasn''t very fun anyways, the crowds full of disgusting peasants made me naseous and I almost threw up!


    But I wasn''t unreasonable, I now didn''t have my VIP status. And some peasants weren''t bad, like the old man or Moom-san. I guess I can wait awhile but this was taking so long.


    As long as I wasn''t hungry anymore. There comes a point in the hunger meter that you simply don''t feel hungry anymore because your stomach has completely consumed itself. You just have to then eat within three days to give your stomach back some of its fatness and then you''ll experience hunger again. I know because I''ve done lots of fasting regimes in the past. Not that this one was voluntary though...


    But I am an optimistic person. I always look at the good side of things! I probably look like a super chic supermodel right now after I lost a few pounds. I bet Victoria Secret agents would get a seizure if they ever saw me walking on the streets because I was basically their ideal model.


    The line inched forward until it was finally my turn.


    "Vendors who are here to sell merchandise, to the left! Your goods will be checked beforehand. You will have to pay a fifteen percent base tax to the capital when you leave!"


    "Visitors who are returnees or are visiting, to your right! Prepare your passes to be stamped!"


    Wait, passes?! Something like a passport? But I wasn''t going to another country... What kind of ghetto place was this?! But I guess since I already waited in line for twenty minutes, it would be wasteful to get out now. I headed to the right and into the entry-way of the wall.


    "Hi. Please show your pass, or some other form of identification. State your purpose for visiting the capital."


    A nerdy looking teenager wearing wide-rimmed glasses, a puffy blue man-dress, and a wierd hat with a feather stuck to it greeted me. He looked ridiculous. What a loser!


    "Sorry, I do not have my pass or any I.D... What should I do in this senario?"


    "Hm... that is troublesome." The teenager tapped his quill on the inkwell and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.


    This loser was pretending to be an adult, this was hilarious!


    "Tell me your muncipality of origin and the purpose for visitation. I will note these down and give you a temporary pass."


    "Ahem! I am from.. a wierd poor peasant place. Gosh, I forgot what the town was called! It was like. Meardin? Mooedoo?"


    "The Township of Mierdean?" The pimply teenager asked me with a suspicious look. "How does one forget their hometown?" This novel''s true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.


    "Yes, yes! I have amnesia. You see, I hit my head when I was thirteen, like your age. So now I''m extra forgetful. Whoopsie, daisy!" I stuck my tongue out cutely.


    "Whatever... why are you visiting the capital?"


    "To attend the Magic Academy!"


    "Huh, so you got an invitation? So did I, but this job is much better suited to my genius and expertise, so I won''t be attending."


    "W-what? You need an invitation?"


    "Of course you do! Not any nobody can attend the Royal Academy! Only those that show strong promise in magic. And to be a student, you need a Student Visa to become a semi-permanant resident of the capital."


    Ugh, this moron was totally not believing me. Why did I need a student visa? My Golden Phoenix Passport allowed me entrance to any civilized country, and they would let me visit with happiness because I was so wealthy and classy. This was insane!


    I guess there was only one way in... my hands began to glitter with pink sparkles as I prepared to blast this ugly-o with a Charm. I hope he doesn''t become too infactuated with me, and start following me around like those stalkers from highschool. That would be a nightmare!


    There were two guards blocking entrance to the city behind the scribe, but it was nothing two well placed Charms couldn''t get rid of. Who could resist my charm and beauty, after all?


    "Halt!" A strong masculine sexy voice called out.


    Huh, I turned around and saw an elegant hunk dressed in a shining white armor adorned with diamonds and pearls. His sexy jawline flexed as he grinned. Moofasa?!


    "Your Royal Highness!" The scribe and the two guards immediately prostrated themselves on the floor.


    HIghness?!? OH EM GEE! Was he the King?


    "If I may ask, what does the Crown Prince want from these servants?"


    Oh, so he was the crown prince. Not bad.


    Moofasa ignored them, but grabbed my arm. "Scarlet, I asked you to wait. Why didn''t you wait!"


    Who does he think he is?! Grabbing my arm like that! I quickly slapped his hands away, and glared daggers at him.


    "Do you think you own me?! So what if you are the crown prince? You are suppose to serve your country and people with respect! Don''t touch me without my permission!"


    "As the savior of the capital from the Revolution Army, you are required to be by my side during the great summoning." He wrapped his broad arms around me and took me by my hands. "Let''s go."


    That''s it!


    "Charm!" Pink sparkles erupted from my hands in the form of a heart and consumed Moosfasa. Dazed, he looked dumbly at me.


    I slapped him hard on the face so you could see a hand print.


    "You ugly piece of-"


    I back-handed him so you can see a back hand print on the other side of his face.


    "trash royalty thinking you can-"


    Slap!


    "Do whatever you want."


    Slap!


    "Do you see the difference-"


    Slap!


    "Between us? I am a goddess!"


    Slap!


    "You are peasant food!"


    Slap!


    "And I am caviar and foie gras."


    Slap!


    "Know your place and learn how to treat women!"


    "Humph!" I turned around and stared him down. I must look like Beyonce right now!


    "The guys I hate the most are backstabbing two-timing cheaters. Go back to Moomoo-chan. I dislike human trash like you even more than I dislike peasants."


    With a cool and chic flip of my ravishing scarlet hair and hands on my hips, I walked past the stone-faced guards.


    "You." I looked at one of the guards. "Where is the Magic Academy?"


    "S-outhern Quartlet, Madam."


    "Thanks." I gave him a wink and continued on my way into the city, my toned butt shaking back and forth.


    Moofasa lifted a shaky hand to his face and carressed his bright red cheeks. He was burning red right now, but not from the sexy beating he had just received.


    "Y-your highness! Should we apprehend that young lady?" The two guards stood upright, broken free from their previous state of petrification.


    "No..."


    Moofasa felt used. Violated. No one has ever beaten, less slapped his handsome face before. The stinging pain hurt, yes, but there as more to it. Every stinging palm had him wanting for more, begging for more. He didn''t want the loving pain to ever stop. It resonated with his every fiber of being, the contact fierce and passionate.


    He wondered how the touch would feel like against his bare buttocks and his face somehow reddened even more.


    Crumbling to his knees, the hunk looked at the retreating figure of that violent goddess.


    "Madam Scarlet..." he moaned, panting.

 Chapter Seven: New Years

    I walked the street with two kababs in my hands. It was so disgusting, probably some kind of rat meat that only peasants ate, and sprinkled with all sorts of unhealthy seasonings. Ugh!


    I bought it at one of the street stalls, because I went to look at what they had. There wasn''t any caviar or cute bento boxes and I would be embarrassed if I didn''t buy anything after looking so I just asked for the cheapest thing they sold. It was only a penny each! The vendor gave me two kebabs instead of one because I was so pretty. I mean I was thankful and all but couldn''t he have given me some more expensive food? Something actually edible like truffles or Wagyu beef.


    As I walked passed a bridge, I felt some presences looking at me. I turned around only to see a group of dirty looking street rats. They had torned clothing on, dirt on their faces, and unruly unwashed hair. Disgusting!!! What if I get some disease from them?! I heard the bubonic plague came from rats and I bet they had fleas and lice. Yuck!


    Oh, they were looking at my kebabs, not me. That''s surprsing, since I was so unbelievably unattractive, but I guess they were so hungry they didn''t notice my aesthetics. I noticed their rail-thin bodies and thought for a bit before throwing the two kebabs on the ground in front of them. They stared wide-eyed at me before descending on the meat like some ravaging beasts with rabies. I shuddered.


    I guess that was my charitable act for this month. I used to give a thousand dollars a month to charity but now I didn''t have that kind of money. When your circumstances change, you also have to adapt! I didn''t want the kebabs anyways, they probably were made with some peasant ingredients that gave you premature cancer. I needed to find some high class restaurant... I didn''t eat for almost a day now!


    But first things first, I''m the realest. I needed to find the Magic Academy! The stall vendor said that the Southern Quartlet borders this hobo bridge so I should be getting near now.


    I walked across the underpath of the bridge and OH EM GEE!


    It was like a whole new world compared to the central district! Picture-perfect kawaii mansions dotted the land, each with their own large gardens. Huh, the Southern Quartlet must be the high class district, where people like me belong! I immediately felt at home.


    Oh! There was a classy restaurant ahead! And a custom tailor shop! And a beauty salon! I was wondering where these goodies were! I needed to get a real meal and then some clothing and maybe get my nails done.


    I entered the red-bricked classy restaurant and was at once greeted by a decently-looking waitor at the doorway.


    "Madam, if I may." The waitor bowed to ninety degrees. He had a homely look to him with well groomed brunette hair that was wind-swept. He wore a neat suit and a neon bowtie. Hmm... Acceptable.


    I accepted his white-gloved hand and allowed him to escort me to a window-sided table for one. "Ohoho!" I giggled. The sunlight illuminated my fiery red hair and golden irises.


    "What would you like to order today?" The waiter asked, presenting me with a menu.


    "Hmm." I glanced through the velvety felt book and looked at the options.


    Goblin knuckles stir-fried with scallions?! That sounded disgusting!


    Walnuts with scrambled Dire Wolf liver?! Yuck!


    How come there was only wierd food on this menu? I sighed and flipped page and after page. Finally, I saw something acceptable.


    "I''ll have a Bristled Battleboar steak. Medium-rare and with a side of Summer Squash gratin."


    "At once!" The waitor bowed again before retreating with my order.


    Ah, I hope it''s good steak. I heard from my peasant friend in school that peasant steak wasn''t juicy at all and some weren''t cooked properly and can give you food poisoning! The last thing I needed was to be sick in a different world.


    I found out that my superior judgement was correct and the restaurant had food that matched its elegant exterior. The steak was bought to me, succulent and juicy, the most beautiful cut of meat. The gratin wasn''t as good but it was passable, and I left the restaurant full and much happier than I entered.


    However, my pouch was a lot less full. The meal set me back 3 silvers coins, and I gave the waiter a silver coin as tip. You see, rich high class wealthy people like me are excellent tippers. We tip atleast twenty-five percent the cost of the meal, if not more, depending on the level of service. And like all high class places, the service was great! It was smart of the restaurant to employ such cute waiters.


    I also learned a bit of how money worked. It seemed like a copper coin was equilvalent to around a dollar on Earth. A silver coin was then a hundred dollars. Using my superior mathematic mind, I quickly calculated that my meal cost around four hundred dollars. Not bad! The saying that you get what your price gets you is often true!


    I walked past the tailor shop in regret. I only had three silvers and a handful of coppers left. It probably wasn''t enough to afford a custom dress. I sighed, but I will definitely return soon! I needed atleast three hundred and sixty five outfits as soon as possible, one for every day of the year.


    I was still happy though, that this world even had a custom tailor shop! A lot of peasants think wealthy people only wear the best of designer brands, but only upper-middle class and lower-upper class wear those kind of filth. Elegant wealthy people like me only wear custom-made clothing by the best designers. There will be no lame labelling on our clothing, like we are some kind of advertisement shill! Besides, just one look or touch of the silk and cashmere wool and the excellent materials and craftmanship in our clothing is made obvious.


    I''ll visit you soon! I promised the store and marched onwards to my next destination, the Magic Academy. Apparantly, there was only three in the whole kingdom, and this one was the most expensive, only for the children of the country''s elite. While it wasn''t the best, I didn''t want to have to associate with some hobo magicians in some hermit mountain or ghetto place so this really was the only choice for me.


    The grand spiral of the academy stretched upwards towards the heaven, as if it was signalling for me to come closer. White towers decorated the wide premises and charming gardens filled with rose bushes and a greenhouse decorated the land. I love it! It reminded me of Stuyourant High School, but Stuyourant was much better, because Manhattan real estate was so expensive.


    The silver gates were unlocked, wide opened and students could be seen sitting on the benches and talking in the gardens.


    I entered the gold-cladded gate, and the security guards didn''t bother me. I must look like a student! I guess that shows how much I belong here already!


    But all around, there were students whispering and pointing at me.


    "Oh my god, was there such a beautiful flower in this school before?"


    "She has looks that rivals School Beauty Asuna-san!"


    "I wish I could be her boyfriend!"


    "Dummy! She''s so amazingly beautiful, she probably already has a boyfriend!"


    Huh! I was used to this treatment at my old school and it''s starting again. This was upsetting me because the only reason I died in my last life was because people were so jealous of my awesomeness and beautifulness. I can''t let it happen again!


    Well, first I needed to get to the principal''s office so I can ask to enroll into this school. I quickly ran elegantly through the crowds of people talking about my beauty and into the stairs. A grand chandelier hung from the cieling and wide, arced windows gave even the stairs a graceful aura. The glass stairs pitt-patted with every step and finally I made it to the ninth floor.


    In all private schools worth their money, the headmaster''s room was always on the top floor, because it showed that they were the top dog. I opened the iron door and... was greeted with empty space!


    It was the roof! I guess all private schools also had roofs where students can eat bentos. This roof seemed pretty nice, it had trees and benches, and a elegant gated vicinity that provided excellent views of the city. I''ll probably use this roof a lot in the future. I was about to turn back around and descend to the eigth floor when I heard someone shout, "Young woman! Halt!"


    I turned around and saw a stern looking older woman. She was dressed very smartly and had a bun with chopsticks inserted into it so the form was held.


    "I''ve never seen you before. What is your name?"The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.


    Uh oh, was I going to get caught and thrown out?


    "Why should I tell you? And when you ask for other people''s names, it is only polite to give yours first!"


    "Haha,well, that is true Very well, I am Dumblegirl, the headmaster of the Royal Ouran Academy! I''ve kept the data of all students in here." Dumblegirl rapped her head with a knuckle. "And you, miss, are not in there. So, are you an intruder?"


    OH EM GEE! This oba-chan was the principal of the school?!


    A fiery blue wisp erupted from her hands, growing larger and larger as the seconds passed. The swirling vortex disturbed its surroundings, causing small vibrations in the air.


    "Well, are you going to answer?!"


    What a scary old lady!


    "Ahem! Well, I''m Scarlet-chan, and I am a prospective student!"


    Headmaster Dumblegril clenched her fist and the blue fire bolt immiediately dissipated, like it was never there in the first place.


    "My, my, that was rude of me! Make yourself at home." She pointed at one of the benches near the edge of the rooftop perimeter. "Let us get some tea and then discuss your enrollment."


    I did as she told and took a look at the scenic view of the capital city. The Magic Academy was one of the tallest buildings and I was able to look down at everything. It was quite a breathtaking view, but nothing like the Manhattan skyline. I did like everyone else being below me, though.


    "I hope you like jasmine tea." Dumblegril set down two fancy cups of just brewed tea. These cups were so cute!


    "I love it!" I gave her a smile.


    "So, which noble house are you from? It''s odd for me to miss such an outstanding young woman."


    I mean I guess I could be considered nobility, probably even royalty in my past life, but that was not true in this one.


    "Eno..~ I''m not a noble."


    "Oh my, then a scholarship student? It''s quite rare from a non-Noblesse to attend this academy, simply because of the cost. Do you have a letter of invitation?"


    I shuffled my feet. "No.."


    Ah! This would be so much easier if the headmaster was some lechery old man. Then, I could cast charm and get it over with.


    "No?!" Dumblegirl stared at me in disbelief. "What makes you think you can enroll in this very prestigeous school then, Scarlet-chan?"


    "Well.. I do know a little magic!"


    I actually didn''t know if my skill was magic, but it was pink and glittery so it probably was!


    "Really?! You should have said so earlier! Most of the noble students don''thave any knowledge of magic when they''ve just enrolled. Even the scholarship students are only tested for magical aptitude and rarely know any spells." Headmaster Dumblegirl seemed very excited all the sudden and grabbed my hands.


    Ehhhhhhhh?!?!? Could it be that I was a genius in this world too?! I guess I couldn''t help it!


    "Let us go at once to the training field! Lesser Allied Teleport!"


    A blue circle snaked its way around us and when I opened my eyes... I was in a gym. Nani?!?! Was this magic?


    Some students were practicing magic nearby and their eyes went all big when they saw me and the headmaster suddenly appear out of thin air.


    "Archmage Dumblegirl.. It''s my first time seeing the headmaster!"


    "And who is that super beautiful girl next to her?!"


    They were wearing funny robes and had wands like they do in Harry Potter. Some had staff and pole looking things, while others were barehanded.


    "Steadfast Ward!" The older woman raise her hand and a blue transparent barrier enveloped us between the gym''s northern wall in a semi-circle, closing us off from the students. One of the students tried knocking on the ward and shouted in alarm, but his voice was drowned out.


    "Ano~ What am I being tested on?" I asked the headmaster who was grinning a bit evilly.


    "Arise! Clay Golems!" Dumblegril threw three clay balls, which kind of looked like roolled up playdoh onto the floor. The balls expanded and warped into humanoid figures without faces. They then started running around the barrier randomly like a bunch of headless chickens. They were quite fast and looked scary!


    "I hope I don''t have to fight them." I mean I was strong for a girl, although my body wasn''t big like some disgusting muscle girl, but I couldn''t fight off three people!


    "Don''t worry, Scarlet-chan. These clay golems are fast but increasingly sensitive to magic. They will break on contact with any spell. They won''t attack you, so you just have to hit them!"


    That seems easy enough...


    "But it will be difficult! They are extremely agile and are extremely sensitive to magic since they are so weak against i-"


    I closed my eyes and took a breath. When I opened them, they were glowing like the beautiful waxing moon.


    "Charm!" "Charm!" "Charm!"


    Pink energies gathered in my hands as they moved rapidly, drawing perfect hearts, and three heart-shaped missles, each casted milliseconds from each other blasted the golems.


    They crumbled like sand and melted onto the floor in a triangular formation around me and Dumblegirl.


    "Is that good enough? Did I pass the test?" I smiled at the shocked woman next to me.


    "Y-you.. impossible!! You are but a novice. How c-can..."


    The blue ward around us faded into air and shoutsbombarded my ears.


    "What was that!?! Did she just cast three simultaneous spells?!"


    "She did! It''s hard for me to even draw one basic symbol in five seconds, yet alone an Ascension symbol. She drew three almost instantly!"


    "Such accuracy too! How did she know where to aim? One of the golems was behind her and it was still a bulls-eye!"


    "She''s so pretty and skillful to boot! She''s my dream girl!"


    The crowd of students began rushing towards me. Sigh, why did I have to be so popular?


    "Gosh, we better get ourselves out of here. Lesser Allied Teleport!"


    I blinked, we were back at the rooftop.


    "Your talents greatly exceeded my expectations. I would have let you enrolled if you could cast any spell, let alone hit a golem. You are... a once in adecade prodigy."


    Yeah, I know. I''ve been told that all my life! But I was more like a once in a lifetime prodigy, if you asked me.


    But I didn''t say it out loud because I was humble. I just smiled sweetly and asked, "So does this prodigy get a scholarship?"


    "Well, of course! Seeing that you are not a noble, I would assume it would be a great financial burden for you to afford the fifty gold coins you will need per semester. Oh, and an additional fifteen coins if you need room and board at the academy." Headmaster Dumblegirl extended her arms generously, before looking thoughtful. "Well, that is unless you are one of those trustfund babies of the Trader''s Union, but I doubt you are."


    "Therefore, I''ve decided to offer you the lowest costing tutelage in the history of the Royal Ouran Academy! Three gold and fifty silvers per semester, an additional one gold and fifty silvers if you need room and board. This is for a total of five gold for both."


    Five gold for both?!?! I only had around two silvers left! And I needed the room and board. I probably couldn''t afford to live in the Southern Quartlet otherwise, and there was no way I''m going to commute from the peasant district! That would be too embarrassing and low class for me!


    "Ummm, seeing that I am a "once in adecade prodigy", can''t my scholarship be more? I only have two silvers in my purse right now..."


    "What!?" The headmaster seemed horrified at how poor I was, and honestly, I was horrified too. "Can''t your parents help you pay your tuition?"


    "Ahem.. Well my parents weren''t really part of my life, I don''t see them that often. And... well they tried towed me off to some old balding man who was morbidly obese, and so I ran away from home, and here I am now." I patted myself on my shoulders. "Just me, a student, passionate to learn. I can''t offer anything but that."


    "Oh my, the horror!" Dumblegirl wiped a tear from her eyes. What?! She cried over my fake story!? "To think that such a talented young girl was going to slave her life away servicing a tub of lard. Scarlet, I am very glad that you ran away from home."


    I nodded, crying a little too. God, I am such a good actress.


    "And you now, you remind me of myself when I was young. A ravishing beauty, so eager to peer into the depths of magic!"


    I stared a bit closer at her wrinkling and warting face. Uhh, I''m not sure about the ravishing beauty part... but sure! Whatever scores me more brownie points.


    "So I''m going to make an exception, just for you!"


    Yes!!! I did a victory dance inside, but I was red-eyed and surprised outside.


    "You will not have to pay any tuition, but you must keep this a secret. No one knows, but us." I nodded, using my pinched fingers to zip my mouth.


    "The Board of Directors and the Parent''s Association will not take your enrollment too kindly. They are made up almost solely of nobles and despise all commoner students who attend the school by merit. If they knew that your tuition was free, who knows what kind of outburst they will create?!" Dumblegril shivered and then produced a paper and quill out of thin air.


    "Just sign here, and we will be all set."


    Since I was so smart and a genius I just had to scan the paper and knew what the general gist of the contract was. Lots of it was wierd technical lawyer terms that you didn''t have to pay attention to so I knew the important parts. It said that the cost of attendence was five gold a semester, but since I had the headmaster''s word that I didn''t need to pay, I just signed the paper and gave it back to her.


    She glanced over it and nodded, satisfied, before clapping her hands.


    "Neko-chan, I think it''s time for you to stop hiding and greet our new friend."


    Who was she calling?


    "Nya!~~"


    A kawaii kitten suddenly appeared by our feet.


    OH EM GEE!? It was soooo cute!


    "Sorry, my familiar is a bit shy." She bent down to scratch the kitten''s head, causing it to purr.


    "Neko-chan, lead Scarlet-chan to her new room, okay? It''s in Murlyn''s Residence Hall, Room 216."


    The kitten lazily stretched before getting up and began walking towards the exit on the roof. It shooked its head towards the roof, as if telling me to follow it. So kawaii!~


    But I had to thank the headmaster first. "Thank you, Headmaster Dumblegirl. I really appreci-"


    Suddenly a robotic voice cut me off.


    "System Alert: The Great Summoning will proceed in five minutes.Undying heroes from another world will be summoned to fight back the forces of evil! This will mark not only the end of the year, but also an era."


    "Oh gosh!" Dumblegirl looked panicked. "I''m suppose to be at the castle to oversee the summoning! I spent too long here. Anyhows, congratulations on your acceptance, Scarlet-chan. You should get acquainted with the school facilities and your dormmates first! I will send you a letter later, detailing all you need to know! Good luck!"


    "Oh, alright. Good luck with the summoning thing, too."


    "Greater Teleportation!"


    And with a snap of a finger, she was gone, like she was never here in the first place, leaving me all alone on the roof. New Years huh? I''ve always spent them alone. My parents didn''t have time to spend the new years with me. It would just be me, lying in bed alone, thinking that it would be another year all by myself. With backstabbing friends and guys that just wanted me for my looks, never for my intellect or who I was as a person. Can money and beauty buy happiness? I thought so, once. I laughed, covering my beautiful face as real tears streamed down by cheeks.


    "Nya~~"


    Neko-chan called out cutely. Huh, I guess I wasn''t alone after all, huh?


    I opened the roof door and the kitten scurried down the steps, looking backwards to make sure that I was following her.


    "Alright. New year, new life! Let''s do this!"

 Chapter 8: When Youre Gone

    "I always needed time on my own. I never thought I''d need you there when I cried."


    It was raining today. Of course it was. I felt every raindrop against my face, kissing it, before streaming down and integrating into a sea of sadness.


    I laughed a bit ruefully, "Even heaven is crying, after losing one of its angels."


    I sat down next to the tombstone, gently, as to not disturb it''s owner. I didn''t care if my school uniform got muddy. My cute imoutou couldn''t get me to wake up in the morning. The food tasted bland. I didn''t react to my fangirls calling me in school. I didn''t care much about anything at all today, or maybe tomorrow, or maybe a week from now, a month, a year, a lifetime.


    "I wonder if you are doing well right now."


    Of course I didn''t get an answer. The dead can''t speak. And the truth was, you only live once. Scarlet was gone from my life. This was an indefinite fact. I only deal with absolutes. She was only one person, yet she was also everything. She was gone, a fragment the universe didn''t care it had lost. Recycled to dust, just time counting down. Expiration dates aren''t recommendations, they are final. Food poisoning causes bad diarrhea but life is so susceptible to poison. It wilts as it exists, like a rose.


    I wonderwhat went through her mind the moment she jumped off the roof. Regret? Relief? Or just numbness, like how I was feeling right now.


    I deposited a bouquet of flowers at her grave. Blood-red roses and wild poppyflowers. She was Scarlet, everlasting on the school rooftop, her smile a beam of golden sunshine as the sun made its way back home. She was beautiful and wild, untouchable, growth sprangled free, seed growing on heart, vine wrapping around neck. And she will be here forever. Knives slashed my red scarlet beating heart but I will keep her safe. Forever is often a broken promise. But I promise to do it, guard her indefinitely against Time. I only deal with absolutes.


    I got up from the groundand dusted off my pants and turned around. It was going to be a long walk home. Or maybe not. I didn''t care where I went. Just as long as Ikept walking. Walking kept the pain away. And there was music in my head. That kept me from thinking. Good.


    "When you''re gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you..."


    Avril Lavigne. Scartlet adored her. She often sang alone, afterschool in her homeroom. She''d be the only one left, doing cleaning duty and she didn''t think anyone was there, listening in on her, so she just sang like she couldn''t stop-"


    It hurts to think about her. I took my phone out of my pocket to change the song.


    "When you''re gone, the face I came to know is missing too..."


    She sang this same song. Twirling around with a dirty mop, fiery hair spinning on all directions. Spring fairy dancer on cleaning duty. Spirited ballerina without a care in the world. Pretend rock-star with a broom handle guitar.


    I gulped, eyes watering for I knew that winter was here and that the ballerina had sprained her ankle and that rock n roll was dead.


    "When you''re gone. The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay."


    And I realized that I was walking on memories.


    A girl once gave a pink sparkly umbrella to her friend on a raining day just like this. It was raining hard that day, harder than today, and her friend must have forgotten to bring one. The girl smiled, not for me, not for the world, not for the rain, not for her friend. It was an otherworldly smile that made my heart sprint. Pit pat! Pit pat! With her bookbag over her head, she ran to the cover of her limousine.


    A girl like that once lived...


    I crumbled onto my knees, hands buried in face. Tears are invisible on a rainy day, but uncontrollable sobs aren''t. Despairing boy. Damp ground. Weeping heavens. Gone girl. Another memory etched in time.


    "I miss you..."


    The end of the song. I whispered the words out as Avril sang them. It was one of those wierd coincidences that you think are special but then you realize that the song was probably so deep buried in your subconsciousness that it wouldn''t be very random at all for you to do so, if you thought about it logically.The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.


    "What a bitch! I''m so happy she killed herself!"


    "Yeah she totes deserved it for hogging up all the guys! She was such a slut!"


    "I know right! I can''t believe I had to pretend to be her friend for two whole years! TWO WHOLE YEARS!"


    "Right sistah?! Also, did she hear? She donated all of her money to some poor hobo camp! Apparantly it was in her will."


    "What an ungrateful piece of shit! We were "friends" with her for two years and we got nothing?!"


    "Yeah! But atleast she''s rotting and dead now, haha! Serves that whore right! I heard her parents didn''t love her, they didn''t even attend her funeral."


    "Ouch. I would kill myself if I was her too!"


    I turned around,stone gargoyle staring at three giggling girls. Kicking and desecrating the grave, they sent violent flower petals flying in a maelstrom. Boutiques slaughtered, splayed lifeless on the ground. They were having the time of their lives.


    Walking usually keeps my mind off things.


    But running doesn''t. I was rage, unbridled and uncensored, bringing a world of hurt and anguish by my side to extinguish evil. I think I have an idea now of why Scarlet chose to go the way she did. How could I not have seen it?! Self-hatred can come later, though. Those monsters in front of me had to be exterminated first.


    "STOP!!!"


    The three girls looked at my sprinting form in shock.


    "N-natsume-san! What a coincidence that senpai is here too! We were just paying our respects to Scarlet-chan."


    "Yeah the wind really made a mess! We were just about to clean up!"


    My eyes stared not at the girls, but at Scarlet''s tombstone. It was muddied, brown covering its gray exterior.


    "I heard everything you said before."


    They looked at each other in alarm, deer in headlights. "O-oh you did? We were just... we were-"


    "We were joking!" One of the girls added in.


    "Yeah, we weren''t being serious!"


    I didn''t stare away from the tombstone. Some raindrops washed away the dirt, leaving a downwards trail of clean. Good.


    "Abusing the dead sure is funny."


    "Natsume-san we''re sorry." A girl clung to my arms. "Besides, Scarlet-chan had a great sense of humor. She would''ve thought it was funny!"


    I flung her off.


    "Don''t ever talk to me or visit this tombstone again. If you do, I''ll make sure you regret that you were ever born."


    "Natsume-san, don''t be like this. I-I like you alot!"


    The girl reached for my arms again and I slapped her hands away. "So what? A lot of girls like me."


    "Yes! I KNOW!" The girl screamed. "But you only liked Scarlet. Only had eyes for Scarlet... Erick-sama and Shin-kun too... But I only had eyes for you."


    She trembled forwards towards me, her hands wrapped around her shoulders, her eyes strangely dilitating. "N-now that Scarlet is gone... I can comfort you. Yes! I can have you to myself now..." She began panting, mouth curved into a lunatic smile.


    It was then that I noticed she had an umbrella in her hands. Not any umbrella. A sparkly pink one.


    She vomited, unprepared for the impact. My fist blurred as it bulldozed into her soft stomach and she flew onto the ground, spraying mud everywhere.


    "Kyah!!!~~" Her friends immiediately ran, abandoning her. What great friends.


    "I''ll be taking this. It wasn''t yours in the first place." I gently picked up the umbrella and carressed it''s smooth surface. There was a piece of Scarlet in this, despite it being tainted.


    "Y-you''ll regret this!" The girl spat out before standing upwards, bent over doubling in pain. She swayed her way out of the graveyard, sending one last venemous look at the tombstone.


    This sacred area was a mess... I bent over to pick up a lifeless boutique, but a chubby hand reached it first. I looked upwards. "Shibo-kun?!"


    The unhealthily large and pimply teenager simply nodded with a smile. "Natsume-san~ I think you need a hand."


    So the two of us worked on cleaning the grave, somehow restoring it to it''s previous level of sanctity. There, Shibo-kun added his own boutique of flowers. The rain had stopped and the gray sky had warped into a bluish haze, golden sun giving life.


    A rainbow could be seen in the distance, bending reality in a spectrum of color.


    "Natsume-san, I know you rejected my confession, but I just want to be your friend."


    I smiled. Although Shibo-kun was gay, I didn''t mind that. I was very open minded, and Shibo-kun seemed like a nice enough person.


    "I do need a friend. Especially now."


    Shibo-kun was giddy, clapping his hands. "Yes! We''re now officially friends. Do you want to exchange numbers? Maybe go on date- I mean hang out?!"


    "No, I need some alone time..." I started heading home. Maybe I''ll feel better with some sleep...


    "Wait! Natsume-san! Take this!"


    I was handed what looked like a game card. "Doki Doki Magical World Online? What is this?"


    "It is the access card for the newest and hottest VMMORPG. I''m giving this to you for free, since we are friends!"


    Mmm. I did have a VR headset, but I rarely used it. I preferred playing basketball or soccer in my free time. But I didn''t feel like doing any physically-strenous activities for now. Maybe I''ll give it a try... Maybe it''ll take my mind off of things I''d rather not think about.


    "Thanks, uh, I''ll give it a try someday."


    "It''s best if you start today! The game officially launches in a few hours! You''ll be behind the other players if you start later."


    "Mhm... Thanks Shibo-kun." I answered non-committedly.


    I waved my hands as I started on the way home.


    A lone fatty sat next to a tombstone. He wiped it with a towel appreciatively, but his mind wasn''t on the girl who slept beneath it.


    "Kekeke... I can play and go on dates with Natsume-kun even when he''s at home... So sugoi!~~~"

 Chapter Nine: Naked

    I followed Neko-chan through the academy grounds. Wow-zers! I''m liking this school alot. Signs of active-student life were found everywhere.


    A group of shirtless male students were jogging around the campus, their powerful bodies flexing in and out. Another group of mixed students were having an elegant tea ceremony. Yet another group of male students were having a picnic. Hmm... they didn''t look too bad, although I was clearly leagues above them. For one, they wore actually decent clothing, and also their facial features weren''t that disagreeable. The girls knew how to apply makeup and had fashionable hair styles while the guys knew that even for mages, a nice delicious muscle body was something you just had to have! I guess since this school was only for the upper class nobles, you wouldn''t find any losers here. They would simply lower the reputation! Thank god.


    I was in a really good mood since there was no eye-sores in sight so I smiled at everything. What was there not to be happy about?! I had a great start to my new life, got accepted into my dream school, and will probably make lots of friends! I might even find a man suitable for me! Kyaa!~


    The students around me turned their heads and followed my every move.


    "What a kind, radiant smile! Did a goddess descend to grace us mortals?!"


    Heh, you mongrels are graced! You should be happy you could see this once-in-a-lifetime beauty before you died. You can tell your grandchildren that you once saw the great Scarlet-sama. Oh-hohoho!


    Some male students got on their knees and began praying to the sky, clasping their hands.


    "My god, what a perfectly balanced body! She has the curves and the fats perfectly where she needs them. I wonder what is the secret in her diet!"


    The girls at the tea ceremony glanced enviously at my amazing sexy body. Heh, there was no secret. You just couldn''t eat peasant food! Only high class food like that steak I forgot the name of. Brokeback Boar? I should get it again the next time I go to that restaurant!


    I stook my nose high in the air and walked with my hands on my hips, swaying like a model. Neko-chan saw what I was doing and began to copy me, prancing at the tips of its paws. So kawaii!~


    The residence hall was at the northwest corner of the campus. OH EM GEE! It was made out of pure white marble and had some pink bricks integrated into its structure as well. This was so chic! If it had some black bricks, it would''ve given off a cool punk rock vibe.


    By now, I had a crowd of admiring students following me, but keeping their distance to remain respectful.


    "L-look, she''s going into the all-girls Murlyn Residence Hall! Is she a transfer student?"


    "She definitely is! Transfer students are always gorjeous!"


    "I wonder which family she comes from... I don''t recognize her!"


    Of course you don''t recognize me, dummy! I came from another world, after all!


    "Her looks are so exotic as well... Maybe she came from outside the Kingdom?!?!"


    "That would be so fetch! I love making connections with nobles from other places!"


    "Who cares about that?! I just want to be her boyfriend! She is so pretty and delicate. I love her red hair and golden irises..."


    I was pretty unique-looking in my past life as well. I was half-Japanese, three-hundred-twenty-ninth New Yorker, and two-hundred-seventy-oneth Californian. I was basically a multiracial exotic beauty! Gosh, I had so many suitors because my genetics were basically perfect.


    Neko-chan and I climbed up two flights of stairs, darted through a few corners before we arrived at room 216. The door was... large! It was a double door and the sign read "Room 216 (VIP)"This book''s true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.


    OH EM GEE! I got a VIP room?!? Getting a VIP room despite this school being full of nobles just showed how much the headmaster liked me! Of course, all my past teachers loved me because I was basically the smartest person in every class. I got 100 on each and every exam, it was like, amazing!


    I excitedly opened the doors and looked inside. WOW! It looked almost exactly like my midtown flat, except smaller in size, obviously, and there was a lack of metal and glass in the furniture. The tables and floors were made out of mahogany wood and I even had a balcony in my bedroom! There was a sitting area and also a private bathroom, with a super large tub I can soak in after my days were over. Surprisingly, they seemed to have a water system and the stone toilet could actually flush? Was it because it was powered magically by the school?


    But best of all was the walk in closet that was connected to my bedroom. It had enough space for 365 different outfits!!! I was worried where I was going to put all my different outfits. I looked around for Neko-chan, but she already disappeared. I think she knows some stealth or invisibility spell. Too bad, I wanted to pet her some more and then say goodbye.


    Suddenly, I heard fireworks in the sky! It was still late afternoon, so you couldn''t see the colors too clearly, but they were still a nice sight to watch. Of course, it wasn''t anything like some of the grander firework displays I''ve seen in private parties.


    "System Alert: The first heroes have been successfully summoned! Most will be summoned to random frontier towns where they will aid local forces in repelling monster raids. As they grow in strength, you may see them venture into inner cities like the Capital. Heroes will be continously summoned for upcoming years. Phase one of Era Incipere has begun!"


    Another system alert! That''s wierd. I swore the last alert said that the summoning would take place in five minutes, and I felt like five minutes passed awhile ago. Maybe time just passes by really fast when you are having fun. Or maybe the summoning process took awhile, and they just finished now? Well it doesn''t really concern me, as long as the players don''t bother me. It doesn''t seem like they will even step foot into the Capital until some time since they will be too busy acting like peasants and fighting globins or something. Hah!


    But! I quickly close the curtains so the room was mostly dark, save for some dulled afternoon light passing through the fabric. I tiptoed to the door and double checked that it was locked...


    I then took my school uniform - blouse and skirt - off. Ah!~~~


    "Kya!!!!!" I moaned as the damp air hit my naked body. It''s been so long! One of the best reasons to live alone was that you could basically live in your underwear. I mean, I would''ve liked living with my parents too, but this feeling of freedom was awesome!


    I tiptoed to the walk in closet where there was a full body mirror and examined myself.


    Ah... I really did get skinnier after starving myself for almost two days. But, somehow my awesome genetics knew not to take away fat from my voluptuous breasts and perky butt. Instead, my stomach, arms, and legs were tauter than ever and I looked like an amazing supermodel.


    "Mmm..." If only I could meet someone as perfect as myself, but a man. Actually, maybe a woman too. I''m not a lesbian, but if I had to choose a woman of my caliber or a man who was lower, I would have to go with the girl. But I would prefer if I could get some hotties ASAP!


    I sniffed my bra and underwear. They still smelled like lavender and rosemary! Wow my genetics were so good, I produced natural smelling perfume. I guess I didn''t need them changed, but I like different styles of underwear. Sometimes I feel sexy and need some lingerine. The color also mattered, you needed different color underwear depending on your mood.


    I jumped onto the king-sized bed and snuggled against the soft covers. This bed was so large, you''ll think it was made for four people! Hehe, I can probably fit three hunkies in here with me!


    "Ah..." I stared at the cieling as I sprawed by body, stretching my arms and legs as far as they could go. They didn''t even reach the corners of the bed, just the way I liked it.


    I did manage to enroll in this academy, but I need to plan for my future. There was money to be made if I wanted to afford all the luxuries I wanted... Maybe I should become a fashion designer? I''ve been told I had execellent top-tier fashion sense. If that doesn''t work I guess I can use the magic I learn to make money. I don''t know how but I''m sure there were people that hired magicians to do stuff. Maybe teleport them places like Dumblegirl did to me?


    Although part of me just wanted to lay low and enjoy life, I know that my beauty and excellence drew people to me, like moths to a beautiful fiery red-headed goddess. Therefore, I had to have some power, some way of defending myself against those who malacious intent. I burned too brightly in my last life and I paid for it dearly. I clenched my fist.


    Learning magic was one way of ensuring my safety, but was it enough? Although I wasn''t too bothered by the players who had just began trickling in and playing the game, they might pose a threat, if not months, then surely a year or years later. Would magic keep me safe from their clutches? Perhaps it would be smarter to use every method I can to ensure that I stayed safe and enjoyed this second chance at life.


    But that can wait for tomorrow''s me to think about. I stiffled a yawn and curled myself up in the bed. Ah, this was so comfy! Tomorrow is my first day of school... I hope I can make some real friends and learn some new magic!


    "Oyasimi, Scarlet-chan." With this whisper and a smile, I began wiping away the fatigue of the few days.

 Chapter 10: Sailing Moon

    There were tears in my eyes when I woke up.


    I had a dream last light.


    A group of people were with me, at the bottom of some sea. The water wasn''t very shallow and quite warm, and beams of sunlight illuminated the sandy ocean floor. It was like the Carribean sea, which I''ve went to on vacation numerous times.


    I couldn''t make out the faces of the people around me but we were smiling, waddling around, exploring the depths of this wonderland. Their faces were instrinsically familiar, but like all dreams, the details were becoming increasingly fleeting.


    However, somehow or another, we were alerted that we were going to drown. We had to find these sand shards at the bottom of the sea, hidden among the sand and other rubble. These shards would give us oxygen and allow us to float to the surface.


    Despite the alarming situation, it was quite fun searching for the shards. The setting of the dream immiediately changed, and instead of the Carribeans, the water had an Egyptian feel. Golden light beamed from above the surface, stronger than ever, and the sand gleamed as ruins formed around me. I soon found a salt shard and returned to the circle.


    Everyone found theirs, except for one. I decided to give my shard to him. They all jumped up through the crystaline water, only to land on the sand again. They then jumped again, and with every succeeding jump, they were able to get higher and higher, until they no longer were in the water any more.


    I stayed at the bottom, looking at the shimmering clear blue water. It was then that I realized there were no living things around me. No colorful fish, sandbed crabs, or even any plants. It was just me alone, standing on an ocean desert. My oxygen was running out and I felt an inexplicable sadness. But I was smiling, probably because my surroundings were so silent and beautiful.


    I knew like all dreams, this one would eventually get lost in time. It felt important to me, somehow, but they all did when I first woke up. Sooner or later they would become a hazy memory and the feeling of profoundness would become one of detatchment and lost.


    Anyways, therewas something more important today! It was the first day of school!!


    I wiped away my tears and threw myself out of bed. As always, I didn''t have bed hair. I also didn''t need to brush my teeth or any makeup because I was just simply so naturally hygienic and beautiful. Scarlet strings fluttered around me as I quickly got dressed in my uniform. I then noticed a parcel that someone probably slid underneath my door last night or early morning. I opened it and found a map, a letter, and my schedule.


    Oh right! Dumblegirl said she would give me a letter. The letter was pretty boring, saying things like congratulations and the like. I looked at my schedule. There were only two classes today, since it was a Friday. Hmm, my first class was Advanced Spellcrafting Theory. I wonder what the time was... there weren''t any clocks in my rooms.


    However, as soon as I thought time, a blue-bordered screen appeared to the far upper right of my vision. It read, "System Time: 8:14"


    How convienent! I didn''t even have to wear those expensive watches that daddy gave me. I had five and hated wearing them because it were heavy, always adorned with some gold, diamond, platinum, or other heavy material unfit for a girl.


    Since my first class started at 9:00, I had time to grab some food. I wondered where the cafeteria was, though. Oh right, I had a map! I took it out and glanced over it and to my surprise, the map shimmered for a second before becoming still again.


    "System Alert: Map of Ouran Royal Academy proper has been added to your Map. The basics of the surrounding district of Southern Quarlet has also been added. Exploring private or secret areas will record those areas onto your Map. To access: ''M''"


    Nani?!? I needed ''M'' to access? Don''t tell me it''s the same thing as thinking ''S'' to access my skills? No way, right?


    I tried it... and it worked! What a lame game!


    My map was like a square box that fixated in front of everything in my vision. It was transparent, so I can see through it while I was walking, but still a bit uncomfortable to use.


    Also, the map was entirely black. Well, not entirely I guess. Around in the middle of the map, slightly to the left, there was a tiny speck of light. It was so small that you could''ve missed it. I stared at it and the map began to zoom in, slowly at first and then rapidly and rapidly until there was more light than darkness.


    I then realized that the dot wasn''t actually a dot. It was one small dot connected to a much larger dot by a small string of light. Huh, the small dot must be the Township of Mierdian. The string of light was probably when I travelled with the old man''s cart. What? We actually crossed through two rivers?! I didn''t realize, so it was when I was asleep then. The largest area of light by far was the Magic Academy. Unlike the other areas where I just wandered around, everything in the Magic Academy''s border was labelled. The Southern Quarlet to the outsides of the borders weren''t labeled but I could see the streets and buildings and houses.So fetch!


    Now where was the cafeteria? As soon as I thought cafeteria, a line of options dropped down. Hmm... Royal Academy Cafeteria? The Wandering Inn''s Cafe (Branch)? Hoghsmede''s Breakfast and Brunch?


    Royal Academy Cafeteria, I confirmed. I did want to try the other food places someday, but I wanted something quick and nearby. The map zoomed into my location and then zoomed out quickly. My current location and the location of the cafe were highlighted and a path was drawn between them. I only had to follow the path. So convienent! It was like a GPS.


    I tucked the schedule into my pockets and walked through campus. I''m sure I caused a lot of people to turned heads but I developed a special skill to not be aware of anything outside of my peripheral vision. Good thing no one came up to me to confess their love or anything that troublesome, and I arrived at the cafeteria in one piece.


    The cafeteria was fairly nice and highclass, if not a bit crowded due to the morning rush. I looked at the menu and soon it was my turn to order.


    "One strawberry crepe with milk tea and two buttercream pancakes, please." I gave the cashier a smile and he gulped and looked away, embarrassed.


    "C-c-coming r-right up, miss!"


    It took around a minute to finish the order and I waited by the countertop, looking at the other food they had on display. Mmm I should try the strawberry shortcake and hazelnut cookies next time.


    When he handed me my breakfast tray, the cashier couldn''t looked downwards, avoiding my face. His ears were tinted pink and he quickly went back to take other customer''s orders. Sigh, please don''t be another fanboy in the making. I''ve had enough of those!


    Unfortunately, there weren''t any empty tables inside the cafeteria. Right when I was about to leave, however, a group of girls finished their breakfast and left.


    Lucky me! I made my ways over and sat down and began eating. Mmm, this wasn''t bad. It was something I''ll get bored of eating everyday but the cafeteria had hundreds of options, just for breakfast. However, my good mood immediately soured when I looked up. Someone was sitting there, with two of their friends? There were only four seats around the table, and I was sitting in the inner chair.


    I mean it wasn''t that I was mad that there was someone sitting next to me. In fact, I would be more than happy to make my first school friend! However, the person sitting next to me was morbidly obese. He had a short mop of a hair and his pudgy cheeks and beady eyes peered at me while he ate. "Mmmmm..."


    I couldn''t tell if he was moaning at the food or me. Probably the food, since he was so fat.


    I coughed and said, "Excuse me." I took my tray and stood up, looking around if there was any other empty seats. If there wasn''t, I''d rather eat outside than with this pig! But with a snap of his fingers, his two friends (servants?) immiediately surrounded my escape route, their hands behind their backs. Now that I had a closer look, I noticed the two (servants?) were twins. Both were lanky in a very unhealthy way and had gray lifeless skin. Were they malnourished because their food always got stolen by this fatty?!?


    My eyes widened. "What is the meaning of this?"


    "Why, I haven''t seen you here before and you looked so pretty. Why don''t you tell me your name so we ca-"


    The fat lard began choking and hacking before coughing out the reminants of his oatmeal onto the table and his plate. He didn''t seemed bothered and wiped his slimy lips with the sleeve of his expensive looking shirt.


    Ugh, I felt like vomiting.


    "So we can learn about each other and get acquainted." He finished his sentence and then smiled with yellowish teeth.


    "Maybe some other time." I replied politely. "I have a class to catch."


    I elbowed my way out of the two lanky servants, and since they were so weak, one of them fell onto the floor and began crying...


    I helped him back up and immiediately regretted it because he stopped crying as suddenly as he began and started shaking with joy. "T-t-tttttouch... I touched a girl!" His voice was thin and whiny and I noticed that the place I touched his hand began flaking with dead skin.


    "W-where?! Let me touch too!" His twin grasped his hands and began began fondling it, causing more dead skin to shower the floor.


    I wiped my hands onto the neighboring table''s tablecloth. "Haha, sorry about that. Well, gotta go!"


    I turned around and walked towards the exit.


    "STOP!! You can''t just leave me like this!" The fatso slammed his metal spoon and fork on the table repeatedly, throwing a tandrum. "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!"Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.


    I ignored his cries and on the contrary, walked even faster. "W-wait until I find out who you are! Then even if you beg me to be your boyfriend, I''ll ignore you!"


    I rolled my eyes and stepped out. Why did I have to meet so many wierdos wherever I went? Come to think about it, a fat loser was the one who murdered me in my past life... I shivered, hoping this fatty in this life stayed far far away from me.


    Sadly, there wasn''t a place outside where I could eat, but I had a brilliant idea! I could bring my tray to the class and eat there. Rich schools often let their students eat in class because their students had such good eating manners that they rarely made a mess. I quickly made my way to my first class.


    However, I couldn''t be more wrong.


    "YOU!"


    I gulped down the last bite of my pancakes. "Me?"


    "Yes, you! Who said you could eat in class!?!"


    The loud disagreeable person who barged into the room was short and old, bent over from age. His wirly crazy gray hair reached shouder length and he had a cane (also could be used as a wand?). A large nose protruded outwards and he had warts all over his forehead, but no where else on his face. Uh oh, was he the professor?


    "Sorry! This is my first day here. I wasn''t aware of the rules."


    "Excuses!"


    By now, a large amount of students surged in as class was about to start.


    "Hey!" one of them shouted. "That''s the transfer student!"


    "H-has my spring finally come? I''m so blessed to be in the same class as her..."


    "She''s so pretty, she rivals school beauty Jessica Jung!"


    "From an objective point of view from a female, she is prettier than Jessica. Her facial features are so symmetrical, plus she has a perfect body type, like a curvacious hourglass." A curly-haired girl in swirly glasses noted while motioning with her hands. "I''m so jealous..."


    Are these people ignoring me? Can''t they see that I can hear everything they say?! Oh well, I was used to it since my classmates in my last life also had the unfortunate habit of talking about me while Iright in front of them.


    Clack! Clack! The professor smacked his cane (wand?) against the black board. "QUIET, and to your seats!!!"


    He then put on his glasses before squinting at me suspiciously. "So it is true that you are a transfer student?"


    Sigh, of course this blind bat didn''t recognize me, he had seeing problems. After all, after one look at me, no one would ever forget me. I can''t be compared to a random nobody...


    I nodded with a sweet smile.


    I heard fervent whisperings around me as the class gossipped.


    "Oh my god, did you guys hear?.." A girl was whispering to her group of friends. "I wasn''t there personally, but my friend, Shelly, you know Shelly right? The girl with the pigtails and pudgy nose? Yeah well yesterdayguess who she saw at the practice gym? Guess! guess!


    "Stopped it and get to the point!" A girl next to her hissed.


    "Wellthe transfer student and the headmaster were both there, like the headmaster was testing her! And apparantly the headmaster was so impressed with her skills she almost fainted! The new transfer student was able to draw fiveAscension symbolsinstantaneously!"


    "What?! I don''t believe it!"


    "It''s true... its true!"


    No, it''s not true. I only casted three Charms... and even I needed to time inbetween to draw the symbols. Was it even possible to draw three instantly? As always, the rumors were blown out of proportion.


    In another corner of the room, a group of guys were also talking in hushed tones.


    "I swear, I heard she''s from Cascador!"


    "What?! I heard she''s from Sal''omiew. You know, tthat place with the Labyrinth City? That''s how she''s so strong. She was an adventurer there."


    "No, Cascador is the coastal island with tons of bikini babes? I think she''s from there too."


    "Well whereever she is from, she is smoking!"


    I sighed. I''m not from any of those plebian places. I''m from Manhattan, the greatest city ever!


    The professor slammed his wand onto the desk again. "For the last time, QUIET!!!"


    He glared at me. "Since you are so intent on creating a ruckus, let''s see how talented you really are." He began scribbling on the blackboard. "Let''s see you decipher this very simple arcanic riddle."


    I heard murmurs all around me.


    "What is an arcanic riddle?"


    "I''ve never seen those scribblings before. They just look like random drawngs."


    I was troubled. I might be a genius with top class education in my last world, but this was a completely different setting. I never had formal magical training before! I didn''t even know it existed!


    However, the "drawings" were familiar to me. Too familiar... They were actually Japanese kanji!


    I knew how to read, speak, and write fifteen different languages at a professional level: Japanese, American, New Yorkan, Chinese, German, French, Texan, British, Hindi, etc... Everyone is always so impressed when they find out but I mean it''s not hard if you try. It usually takes me a week to learn a language and although I only speak American on a daily basis, it is very beneficial. For example, like during times like this.


    I stood up with a cool flick of my hair and a smile. "Arigatou watashi neko ohio haiiku kya dame boku iyashi no matte pico."


    The old man''s eyes widened and he raised his walking stick, tremoring. "I-impossible! H-how can you decipher this ancient runic language?"


    Ancient runic language? Hah! It was just Japanese. Let''s surprise him even more.


    "Ni hao! Hola! Ciao! Hej! Zdravstuyte! Selamat Pagi! Hi! Salut! Namaste!"


    The old man''s eyes comically widened even more and he hovered his hands on his heart. "A-arienai!" Huh, it seems like he knew some Japanese or this "ancient runic language." He then toppled downwards, fainting.


    Oops, I didn''t mean to do that!


    However, the class cheered and started screaming in joy.


    "The new transfer student is the best!!! She killed the old mean pevert Proffessor Gerbert."


    Gerbert does sound like a pervert''s name, hehe.


    "We get to skip class today! Banzai!"


    The class quickly emptied until there was only a girl left. She wore two buns on the crown of her head and had intelligent flashing glasses.


    "Imbeciles." She shook her head haughtily. "Those simpletons are so happy to be deprived of their education. Are they really this country''s future?"


    This girl wassort of pretty in a intellectual beauty kind of way. She also spoke words that I mostly agreed with. She seems like someone I can tolerate being friends with.


    "My name is Scarlet-chan. What is yours?" I extended a friend hand towards her and smiled, but she slapped it away.


    "Don''t draw too much attention to yourself, if you know what is good for you. You don''t want to draw the attention of the underground Student Council."


    With those words, she took out her expensive looking ivory wand and wrote in the air, as if she was writing script. She then pointed her wand at Professer Gerbert''s unmoving body and to my surprise, it began floating upwards.


    "I''m Besutina, the class president of homeroom C-1. I''ll bring the professor to the nurses office. I hope we don''t ever cross paths again."


    The body drifted after the two-bunned girl as they left the class.


    What the heck?!? What a rude girl! I bet she doesn''t have any friends.


    Humph! I checked my schedule and decided to head to my next class earlier than usual. Actually... I can take a roundabout way and tour the campus at the same time. I had the handy GPS Map after all!


    Two and a half hours later, I was seated in the front row of my History of Magic class. I had visited the library, the roof again, the greenhouse, the bathrooms, and parks, and now I was pretty familiar with the campus. My superior intellect made it so that once I went to a place, I never forget it.


    A old hag entered the room. Were all the proffessors this old?!? Where are the young hot male proffessors?!


    The entire class got up and bowed, so I followed them. "We note your esteemed prescence, Professor Lily." Huh, seems like this proffessor was much more respected than Proffesor Gerbert.


    "Ano, where am I? This old lady got lost again.." The professor looked around helplessly.


    "Professor, you are in your History of Magic class!" A girl called out.


    "Huh.. Oh right! Well.. class begins!"


    It seems like the only reason why this professor was respected was because she was a previous Archmage. Her teaching skills.. could use a little work. She droned on and on about some nonsense history and I was about to fall asleep. Actually I was actually ninety percent asleep. Since I was a genius, I just needed to use ten percent of my brain to memorize whatever she was talking and still appear awake and alert. This way I didn''t have to study for tests either. I always gotten a hundred on those, anyways!


    Two and a half boring hours passed just like that and the class finally ended. I tried not to yawn and headed for the door. Unlike the previous class, a lot of students were crowded around Proffessor Lily and conversing with her. She sure was popular!


    Now that my classes were over, what should I do? Oh right, there were nine other girls on my dorm floor, but I haven''t seen them yet. Maybe I should go back and say hi? Or maybe I should go and hunt for a part-time job. I mean it will be my first part-time job but I heard that all peasant children had to get one when they were teenagers. If they could do it, then I could easily do it too. I needed some money as emergency expenses. And to buy custom-made clothes. That was the most important!


    I was heading to the northern exit of the Academy to look for jobs around the Southern Quartlet, when I suddenly heard the squeals of hundreds of girls. Huh, was there an event going on?


    Two parallel lines of about sixty girls each were standing at attention holding pompoms. Were they this school''s cheerleader team? Lame. Cheerleaders were too girly and didn''t have the cool punk-rock vibe that Avril Lavigne has.


    One line wore a white shirt that had "Harry''s Fan Club" imprinted on it while the other line wore a black shirt that had "Onizuka-san''s Slaves." They must be personal cheerleaders, I thought. Wait, weren''t they just fangirls then?!?


    Just then, two girls, one wearing a white shirt and the other a black one, began rolling a red carpet towards the end of the line from the distance. Two figures then could be seen in the distance walking closer and closer.


    "Harry-san!!! We love you! L - O - V - E! Love! Love!"


    "Onizuka-san! O - N - I - Z - U - K - A! Forever Onizuka!!!"


    The two lines started shaking their pom poms and doing wierd dances like a wriggly butt dance. It was hard not to laugh. Why was I waiting and not going to find a part time job? Well I had to see inspect the school''s hotties. Since this school was so high-spec, I was expecting alot from them.


    ...And my expectations were exceeded.


    "Harry-san... Please accept these, chocolates, even though it isn''t Valencia''s Day! I made them myself!"


    A red-faced girl bowed her head down and handed a box to Harry-san.


    "Thank you Kimchi-chan. I''ll enjoy them. He smiled like the sun, blinding me. A few of the girls on the white shirt line fainted.


    On the other hand, Onizuka was cold. Countless fan gifts were offered to him but he just continued walking side by side with Harry, without paying them any attention.


    They both... were super hotties.


    Harry had silver hair and looked like an angel. Soft eyes and long eyelashes and a dainty but tall figure with slender piano-playing fingers. So sweet!


    Onizuka was the opposite, with slightly tanned skin. He was also half a head taller than Harry and had pulled back blond hair, like a delinquint bad boy. Unlike Harry''s pure body, his were hardened with muscles. You could see delicious bulges underneath his muscle shirt.


    I stared for awhile too long and met eyes with Harry. I gulped and quickly turned away. I reached for my beating heart. Calm... Calm... I began running towards the exit.


    I couldn''t help it! It was my first time having this reaction... Was it love at first sight?!? Onizuka was hot, like steaming hot, but Harry was so pure and angelic... I liked him better.


    I ran for a mile before stopping. A bit short on breath, I turned around... Eh?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?


    Harry was following me!?!?!? Was he stalking me? No way, right?


    I tried throwing him off, turning twists and corners to confuse him, but he always appeared behind me. He defintely was stalking me...


    I felt excited and strange. Usually my first reaction towards a stalker was disgust, but to have a stalker this hot...


    A felt a gentle tug on my arm. How did he catch up to me without running? He wasn''t even sweating! His pale luminous skin glowed in the light.


    "Kya!~" I looked angrily at him. "W-why are you following me everywhere like a stalker? I''ve been trying to throw you off. Stop following me, or I won''t be able to find a part time job!"


    He quickly took his hand back, surprised. "You noticed? You must have pretty good perceptions. I was under a low level stealth enchantment."


    I shivered. This world was perfect for creepy stalkers do do their business.


    Although Harry-san was hot, I was nervous talking to him. Normally I wouldn''t give guys a second look. There was a first time for everything, I guess.


    "I-I''m busy. Get lost, or I''ll call the cops!"


    He ignored me.


    "You said you were looking for a part time job?"


    I nodded, looking at him curiously. Was he going to recommend me to a place?


    "I have a job for you."


    Wow, I was right!


    "Why don''t you become my girlfriend."


    Eh?!


    EH?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!